#means a lot even if im not great at taking compliments <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[touch-starved-lurker]

fenmore, you're literally such a wonderful kind amazing person and i'm so glad that you exist and we're friends

🫂🫂🫂 same!!!!! you’re awemazing toooo <33

[nomairuins]

i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is

[huellitaa]

🤍𓂃 ࣪˖ if you can read this, it means you're still here! which is an achievement in itself. im so proud of you. <3

i have been falling back into some bad habits recently, and thinking about it a lot. i had a really, really bad night last night and this morning i woke up with puffy eyes and a messy room but i felt light.

imagine yourself in december this year. imagine yourself looking back on today and smiling at how far you've come. everything can change in one year. everything can change at any time.

there is a whole entire world for you. the sound of rain on the glass, the way the petals fall in the spring, the way the sun rises in the morning, that stranger that smiled at you on the street, that cute little dog you saw on your way to work or school or wherever you went to this morning.

there are people you haven't even met who are cheering you on. you have so many people admiring you from the sidelines because they're too shy to say it. i have been one of those people and still am. there are people who admire the tiniest things about you; the creases by your eyes when you smile, the cute little dimples on your cheeks, the way your hair gets so messy after being out in the wind, the way you hold yourself with such confidence, the way you try so hard to be better every day even if it's hard.

there are people who love you beyond belief that you've never even met yet. because there is so much to be explored, so much to be learnt, so much to see and so much to meet. 8 billion people. 8 billion. even if it feels like you're surrounded by people who don't love you, who don't want the best for you, who don't take care of you and admire you half as much as they should, they are not the last people in the world, and they never will be. there are 8 billion people! think about that for a second! there is someone who is wishing for you the way you are wishing for them! there are people who have so much love for you they haven't even had the chance yet to express!! that's so beautiful!!! <3

there are people who do love you beyond belief, even if you guys don't talk anymore. there are people who smile when they look back on you guys time together, from your childhood best friend to that girl you complimented in the street years and years and years ago. there are people who look back on your memory fondly and still love you and are so happy to see you flourishing.

its okay to be sensitive, its okay to get upset by things. not everything is going to be okay all the time, and neither are you. you can't have good without the bad, and the good always comes afterwards better than you'd ever imagined. life is feeling everything deeply and learning from it, no matter how hard it was or still is. you can always make it through because the most sensitive people are the strongest people.

there is so much life left. you are so young, no matter how old you are. there is so much you can do, so much you will do, so many achievements to be made, so many friends to meet, so many experiences you can learn from. you will get your happily ever after and you will make something beautiful out of your life because life is messy and imperfect and constantly growing and that is beauty.

please keep living, because there is so much to live for. even if you want to go back to that home of sadness you've built over the years, even if growth is messy and uncomfortable, even if things aren't going too great right now, even if it's not everything you thought it would be, you've survived your entire life with you helping you through it even if you've been alone.

you've picked yourself back up every. single. time. and are still making an active effort. that is extremely strong and you've done more than 90% of other people would do in your position and all the things you've been through. you've tried so hard and you should be so proud of yourself. and you should keep going for, because the life you're dreaming of is so close. please smile. please never give up. there is so much left to live for. i love you & you should do the same.

[ghostsvacuumcleaner]

Hello! i was wondering if you could write me a req bc i saw your reqs r open (bc I ✨respectfully✨ suck booty at writing)

basically, reader made friends with Ghost while working together on deployment, and became friends, they hang out sometimes bc they live kinda close, blah blah blah. then, Ghost doesn't hear from reader in months (which isn't normal, bc they text like once a month, just to make sure one another is okay when they can). then, one day, in the middle of a meeting Ghost gets a call from an unfamiliar number and almost ignores it until he sees that the area code is the one reader lives in, so he decides to answer it. boom, guess what? the reader is in the hospital, sustained r/srs injuries, and is in need of emergency surgery, and the reader made Ghost the emergency contact (lets also say they traded dog tags bc fluff?)

homie gets all sad bc Reader might die and is in a mini coma, blah blah blah, realized he r in love w the reader, and uh

you can decide whether or not the reader dies and what happens next

i fr scream YIPEEE when i saw your req open, i adore your writing, like top tear, makes me cry but laugh and scream bc how are you so good?! srs, im so jelly of your writing! okay anyways, hope you have a lovely day, you dont have to do this is you dont want or if im jus a silly fucker and mis read and your reqs r closed or sum

Hellloooo! Thank you SO MUCH for the beautiful compliments and for this request <3 I loved it so much I started writing the day you sent it to me. But since it's very emotionally charged, it took me a little while to finish and I'm sorry bout that, and I rly hope you're still around and eager to read it!!! Well, there it is, my take on ur req, hope you like it.

Take me back (to the night we met) | Simon "Ghost" Riley x f!reader

✦Word count: 2.1k ✦ Pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley xf!reader ✦Summary: Simon gets a call from the hospital saying that you are hospitalized, in a coma and in great life risk. ✦ TW and general warnings: sensitive topics, lots of angst, fluff though, death implications, open ending, sad af read at ur own risks cuz i'm crying in my room rn;

I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met

“Johnny and I make our entrances fast. I clear the way, he goes front, three of you get in by the back and we surround the site to get enough space for the hostages to come out. Any questions?” Ghost asks sternly, as is the usual of his tone especially coming down to work. He was being brutally professional at the moment - if there was rather a sign of an existing Simon, it was gone the moment he got inside the briefing room. Silence follows for the next seconds while the crew seems to be pondering over what he said, analyzing the map over the big round table sticking to the center of the room.

As it is expected, no questions. He nods with his head assuming by the silence that they’re all understood.

“Our orders are to neutralize any individual we find on the site whose face doesn’t match with our hostages, which means we do it fast before they get the chance to call for reinforcements. We don’t wanna make a mess out of this.” Price then continues his own talking, marking X’s over the tactic map and giving the next orders to every one of them. It is when Gaz opens his mouth to say something, that Simon’s phone rings for the third time in a row. He curses mentally - he muted his phone the first time; now, it was vibrating in his pocket. Awkwardly, the vibration itself is heard by everyone in the room and they turn their eyes on him almost instantly.

“Hell.” He curses out in a low voice before shaking his head. “My apologies, Captain.” His voice tries its best not to come out too annoyed, but he fails and it does; despite the timing being inconvenient, no one seems to be bothered. Johnny furrows his brows in concern, and looks over at Price, who seems to have the same, perhaps even more intense, look on his face.

Ghost mentions to pull out and turn off his phone once again, but Price is quick to intervene.

“Riley.” He crosses his arms over his chest. “Third time in a row; seems like somethin’ serious, get out and pick up.” He states comprehensively.

Despite being slightly reluctant, Ghost agrees - it must be something serious. What, he couldn't come to imagine - but if for a moment in his life he had something close to a hunch, it was now, and it said he should take that call.

“Alright, one minute. Move on without me.” He nods and leaves the room, phone in hand and a worried sigh leaving his nostrils. When the door closes behind him and he walks a bit further down the hallway, he picks up.

“Yes?”

“Is this Lieutenant Simon Riley?” A feminine voice asks from the other side. Sounds in the background, beeps and small, muffled voices.

“Affirmative, who’s this?” He frowns.

“This is from the Special Forces Manchester Hospital, are you familiar with the name- hmm…” She seems to be taking a couple seconds to read, and continues saying your name. 

He freezes in place.

How long has it been since he last heard this name? How long has it been since you vanished like thin air, disappeared, stopped calling or answering? Busy. That’s what he thought. Busy with work, busy with anything. The two of you had always been two busy people, in a desperate need for time.

For a moment, in those torturous seconds of silence, Simon found himself praying to a God he wasn't even sure he believed in, that this nurse wouldn't tell him you’re dead.

“Yes.” It’s all he manages to say, with his eyes running down to the ground in a dead stare. Dead eyes. He gulps, after the despair in his chest makes him speak once again, “Why?”

“Well- sir, you’re her emergency number, we’re calling because we couldn’t manage any family members… She’s in a coma. She was severely injured in combat, and [...]”

His heart stops, like it never did before. He doesn't react, his eyes look around as if he's searching for something - as if searching for his own reaction hidden somewhere within that empty hallway. The weight of your dog tag around his neck seems to be suffocating him now. 

To his silence, the woman continues.

“[...] it’s… currently sort of impossible to predict her state within the next few days, she’s fighting but struggling lots; can you come over?” 

“Yes.” He sharply replies, immediately. His eyes are still on the ground as he closes his eyes, and nods. “I’ll be on my way, yes.” 

“Good.” She replies, and he turns off.

For a moment, he stops to breathe; Ghost wipes his hand over his mouth in a somewhat guilty expression, he should have reached for you. He should have reached you the instant he missed you, your calls. 

“Hell…” He shuts his eyes for a moment, his heart stings like he’s poisoned, it hurts - some sort of pain he swears to god, he probably never felt before. Not when he lost his training dog, nor when he lost friends before - maybe because there were always a lingering possibility between the two of you. It was nothing but a friendship, never had been - but every word, every phrase was full of underlines of sentiment, an immense desire to reveal his interior and spit out the fears he refused to speak about to anyone else.

It's the possibility that kills him now. Even after all this time, not for a second did you cease to exist in his troubled and saddened mind. Suppressed by all the worries and feelings he thought were more important than you.

Not for a moment did he stop thinking about that pleasant end to his career, the retirement he knew he deserved, a house at least isolated from the rest of the world with trees and streams, the snow falling when winter comes and the sun scorching the land. land when summer finally arrived. You, on the front porch. 

You.  You.

When the night was full of terrors And your eyes were filled with tears When you had not touched me yet Oh, take me back to the night we met

You were leaning back on the sofa, your legs stretched out by the small table that marked the space between you and the balcony railing of his apartment.

The rain fell calmly, some thunder, but few drops. The sound of them falling against the roofs of the houses below the level where you were was echoing in your ears, and he seemed busy drawing patterns among the heavy clouds that covered the sky. 

He gave up trying to find any stars in that rainy sky and found comfort in finding your eyes instead. They were already watching him, almost expecting him to say something, even though the silence between two of you usually speaks volumes more than words itself; you’ve never been good with them, much less him. 

Simon looked down at your dog tag, lying brightly on your bust exposed by the tank top you wore. 

“What do you want to do after retiring?” He asked, his voice calm, his eyes almost closed. He took your necklace between his fingers calmly, and watched your shiny name exposed on the icy metal.

“Gotta be honest with you, can’t see myself retiring.” You replied, with your usual brutal honesty - something he particularly always liked so much about you. “What about you?” 

You don’t mind him, you allow.

“Don’t know.” He was, too, brutally honest. “Seek fuckin’ forgiveness for my sins before I die and end up in hell, I suppose.” 

You laughed.

“Oh, fuck. Gonna die trying to find that, mate.” You admit, raising your eyebrows in another big sip of your beer. “We’re all going to hell… At least we’ll all party there together.” You sounded fun, and your eyes turned into little lines with the genuine smile you let out when noticed that he too laughed at your joke. 

“We’re partyin’? Tell me Johnny isn’t going…”

“He’s my first guest.” You laugh harder.

“Thought that’d be me.” 

“You hate parties.” You raised your eyebrows.

“I don’t hate you.”

You silently smiled and looked away. 

“Fair enough.”

When it came to the two of you, there was nothing but connotation.

You could spend hours in that apartment alone with him - and you did. Did plenty of times, and yet, among subtle touches and heartfelt conversations, the end would be the same. Not in his bed, not in yours: by the door, with a rueful look and smile on your face. 

With a held back hug you never gave, a held back kiss you never allowed and an uncertain goodbye before departing on a mission that could take your or his life.

There was a phone call, once.

He called you late in the night. He was drunk. Too drunk. 

“I’m scared.” His voice was low, fluttering, like those cold days he’d be waiting for his dad’s arrival in his bed, under the covers, terrified and alone. “I’m scared. Can- can I see you? Can I come over, please?” 

As you hugged him on the couch in your own apartment now - that huge, strong, self-sufficient man collapsing in your lap like a baby in need of comfort, your heart was never right about anything like it was right about loving him. In that moment you knew it, you were fucking lost, taken, desperately in love.

You departed; you gave him your dog tag, he gave you his. A memory, an attempt. Do not forget me, you said. Don’t you dare forget me if I die, Simon Riley.

“I didn’t.” 

He looks at you with regret. The devices that help you breathe keep him from seeing you fully, whole - but still behind all those hospital beeps and sounds, you're still as beautiful as the first time he saw you.

He wants to go back to the past. Reverse everything he did, redo it from scratch; the first time he saw you, the first time he felt his heart ache listening to you talk about another man, all the times he repressed his feelings and swore not to love you.

“I want to be with you.” He mutters, his eyes emptily stare down your almost lifeless hand resting over his. “After I retire. I want to be with you.” He says again, closing his eyes, shutting them tight like he’s trying his very best to repress the tears he wants so bad to let fall. 

“I fuckin’ need you- I- how did this happen, how did you…” He gasps as the clock ticks, low, the sound of the hands ringing like doomsday inside his head. Every second that passed was one less with you. There are twenty minutes left for you to enter that operating room, and maybe you’ll never leave it again.

His eyes water and his legs give out, he kneels beside the bed, his suppressed voice sounding like a low, painful moan. The cry of a child who lost everything he had; of a confused teenager who would become a soldier, cold, dead inside, incapable of love - who loved you. Who loves you. “I’m scared. I’m scared- I love you.” He’d mutter, praying to all known gods to not take you. Take anything, anything from me; anything but her.

When the doctors came into the room and hurriedly moved your gurney to the ward in a desperate attempt to get your heart working again with the transplant, Simon sat in the waiting room with his face buried in his hands, his legs trembling. and the false hope that you would come back.

That you’ll be on that front porch, resting ever so happily, a bottle of beer in your hand and the dogs running around. He will have gotten rid of the mask and the habit of wearing it and you’ll be happy. You’ll be happy. You’ll be alive.

“God, please.” He mutters. “You’ve taken so much from me, now please, not this.”

He stands up as the doctor calls his name, with his heart on his hand and regret flashing his face off, he just wants another minute with you, another second with you, enough seconds so he can tell you he love you - he had, for most of his life and now, and he will, for the rest of his days with or without you.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do Haunted by the ghost of you Oh, take me back to the night we met.

[jklovesfandoms]

Do you have any miscellaneous lautskity headcanons?

Oh boy, do I!!

1: Steph wears rings. Like a lot of them. She claims that she wears them because she likes them (she does) but it's really because Pete and Grace like to fidget with them while they hold hands.

That also means that she loves being in the center of the cuddle pile.

Pete and Grace have their personal favorite rings of Steph's, and once Steph figures it out, she adjusts what rings she wears on what hands to secretly influence which partner is on which side. She keeps on waiting for them to figure it out, they never do.

2: Grace, shockingly, sleeps like a starfish. Like, fully spread out. Unless she's cuddling one of her partners, but the second her body senses that there is no one else in the bed, she completely stretches out.

Steph sleeps on her side, with her hands tucked up to her face, usually holding a blanket. But with her partners, she'll sleep on her back, because she has mild anxiety if she cannot feel both of them.

Pete sleeps in the fetal position, like the most curled up man known to mankind. You cannot change my mind about this, because I am correct. He also sleeps with a weighted blanket, when not with at least one of his partners.

3: Grace plays ukulele (she's a church camp kid, as an ex-church camp kid that's a good third of what we did), so anytime that Steph or Pete show her a song, and are like "us, fr fr <3" she learns how to play it, just to surprise them.

Pete doesn't do songs very often, nor playlists. He instead does the nerdiest memes ever. He convinced them once to make their discord statuses be protons (Steph), neutrons (Grace), and electrons (Pete). He's a nerd, watcha gonna do.

Steph is the playlist maker, even if they aren't dating yet. So when she shows her partners her Spotify playlists, they immediately spot three playlists. "pining 4 her" "pining 4 him" and "oh fuck im so gay". Pete made "oh fuck im so gay" her contact name for the next 3 months, and they still mention it at least twice a week (just to see Steph's face go red).

4: Grace and Pete blush SO easily. And Steph takes great advantage of this (their contact photos are of them blushing and trying to hide from the camera).

That's why they mention the playlist name, because it's like the one guaranteed way to get Steph to go bright red in a split second.

5: None of them are good at taking compliments. Grace absolutely takes them with the most ease, but Pete and Steph just kinda go deer in headlights mode, before blurting out a mildly awkward "thanks?"

6: Steph is the "Hey! He said no pickles!" Right away, because neither of her partners are socially confident enough to stand up for themselves.

Grace is the "Excuse me? He asked for no pickles. Could we get a replacement, please? Thank you!" Because she can stand up for her partners, just not got herself.

Pete would sooner eat the pickle then dare correct anyone for himself. With the exceptions of when his blood sugar is low and he wants his god-damned hot chocolate, and for his partners. He has a backbone, it just only exists for everyone else. It's not for himself to use.

7: Grace is the ultimate clothes thief. They all steal clothes from each other, but if there was a contest, Grace would win by a landslide.

[suffarustuffaru]

Scrolling through your blog is such a fun experience, you bring an absolutely great vibe to this fandom and I love it SO MUCH. Could even say you restored my hope in it, since there has been some aspects that made me force myself to leave it, and I hope me bringing one of them up here won't upset anyone.

Now I completely understand if you wish to not answer my ask, but I figured it's worth a shot. So, one of said aspects was a controversy regarding one of the rezero characters that made me feel like you can't mention them without being called names (mostly on tiktok, but other social media also, tho not as much).

Yeah I'm talking about Felix. I'm not transphobic by any means, and I'm fine with people headcannoning whatever they want, but seeing thousands of people calling others transphobic for calling Felix a 'he' made me so unsafe I forced myself to look for other interest. Which is funny since most of the people saying this weren't even part of the fandom. I was wondering if anyone else here had similar situations and just.. how do you deal with it? It seems silly, I know, but feeling like I can't speak about a rather important character from a media I love made me so upset.

No matter how much I tried explaining it, they either dismiss it or say Tappei made him a trans girl without knowing.

Now, if you do decide to answer this and say that Felix indeed may have been 'trans coded' a little bit (Did I used that term correcly? Idk) I'll understand (hell, I would probably agree, you character analysis are great), I'm just upset at the absolute lack of respect for any other way of referring to Felix other then she/her.

(Also in case people don't know, their proof of Felix being a trans girl is the scene from EX1, with the whole calling himself a girl in front of a mirror thing)

Sorry for this is being long and probably messy I just had to get this off my chest.. also I hope I didn't came of as offensive in any way, if I did I'm really sorry.

hi there anon! first of all - aw thank you for your compliments about me and my blog. im super passionate about rezero (though thats probably super clear to anyone whos seen any content i make for a while aljsdlkf) and well. ive been lurking about in this fandom since summer 2020 so i definitely understand having to leave/distance yourself from this fandom because outside of tumblr, the rezero fandom is kind of . well. to put it simply, theres a lot of metaphorical landmines unfortunately!! T^T and admittedly i wouldve left this fandom a lot sooner if i didnt stick to my own corner and curate spaces with other people who were super chill (like lots of people lurking about here on tumblr + rz tumblr in general!!). so i totally understand how you feel anon (and youre not silly for being upset, i promise!), though admittedly im not super super familiar with some rezero spaces (such as rz twitter) bc i 1. dont speak japanese and 2. i try very hard to avoid the negativity whenever possible!! T^T

and also i apologize for taking a while to answer your ask!! you're one of my older asks that kinda got lost in my drafts hah but i also just wanted to like. take extra care with your ask bc its a super important topic. like not just to me (though its definitely important to me) but its important in general. and i really like felix so. <3

a quick disclaimer is that i myself am not transfem. i am however afab and most likely genderqueer!! (im winging it as i go hah.) felix is also not a character id say im as well-versed in yet, but i do like felix a lot and ex1 changed my entire brain chemistry. and ill also be defaulting to he/him pronouns in this post because thats what he uses in canon.

felix is - at the end of the day - a fictional character, and tappei is a cis man who doesnt Entirely write characters like felix through a queer lens. arguably tappei is Self-Aware when he writes characters who are into other characters of the same sex (though the Representation is arguably a little bit questionable at times depending on how you look at it), but when it comes to characters like felix or subaru who have some Gender Stuff going on, it's more nebulous there. i dont know if tappei 100% realizes he's made characters that could be read as Trans/Genderqueer (emphasis on "read as", because i support different interpretations of these characters), but tappei Definitely Is Very Aware that gender and gender presentation and gender roles are super important when it comes to characters like felix, subaru, and crusch.

i think tappeis own perceptions of gender and gender roles do bleed a bit into the text as much as tappei is pretty purposeful with themes surrounding gender in rezero, but rezero itself still has all sorts of identity issues to explore with a lot of its characters and gender is a big part of that!!

so first and foremost im gonna be examining felix the best i can Purely Off Of The Canon Text, though i do like viewing rezero from a queer lens myself (and it is arguably very queer). im gonna talk first about felix and then ill move onto talking about my personal feelings on rezero fandom stuff :o !!

so felix's relationship with his gender is complicated and he Absolutely does not fit into traditional gender roles or gender presentation right now. these are undeniable. and if people headcanon felix as transfem thats totally understandable and valid!! but to say a headcanon is 100% canon and that other interpretations of a character as complex as felix are invalid isnt exactly it. for sure. i mean i myself interpret him as nonbinary haah. but felix's relationship with gender is so so so So complicated that i dont think you could just say hes transfem and then Not Elaborate More.

but regardless of how Exactly you label felix, i think you could possibly say that hes trans coded. tappei, even if he probably doesnt entirely know hes made pretty genderqueer characters, is Aware and Purposeful of how gender affects felix and his perception of himself and his identity and other peoples perception of him and this is brought up Over and Over Again in canon—felix’s gender identity, at the moment, aligns more with femininity in his presentation in every way, though he still perceives himself as masculine. felix’s case is complicated, and while im not entirely sure on this i think you could argue that hes trans coded—“coding” suggests a level of intent when making these characters, and i think that intent is present in some way with tappei. because tappei Knows just how important gender is with felix’s character and you can tell with how often and how Integral it is to felix’s entire character.

(more under the cut) (i do have a habit of being rambley/wordy sometimes if. if you couldnt tell already. but i hope this response is up to your standards!!)

these three analysis posts on felix's relationship with gender have all discussed this topic in-depth before i have, and i 1. really like the rezero content i see from all three of these people and 2. they All have slightly different takes based on the canon we have but also some similar points. because felix is complicated!! of course our takes are probably gonna be a bit different - he's a multifaceted character with such a complex relationship with his gender that it's hard to tell what every single one of his personal feelings on it is (especially when at the moment he hasnt appeared in the main story since arc 5 and he still has a Lot of character development to do). and of course fiction is fiction, we can all take away any sort of meaning from a story like this.

but you know. this is my post so im gonna try to analyze felix right now and say my two cents on what i think of his relationship with gender.

so im gonna try not to retread too much on what liquidstar, sufferu, and gourmet of gluttony have already said about felix (and i think theyre all very smart people with interesting analysis posts and theyve all explained their thoughts pretty well) and instead add on with my own thoughts - theres this felix excerpt from arc 4 wn that i think about sometimes. im gonna put it down here!!

and also important to note—like other people have mentioned, crusch and felix made a “deal” of sorts in the past where crusch takes on felix’s masculinity and felix takes on crusch’s femininity. and also like other people have said—and i myself have said in the past—i do have some mixed feelings on this wkdndn and as i said before also i do wish tappeis feelings on gender bled a little less when theyre Not Integral To The Story. bc i dont think tappei 100% knows hes made trans coded characters, but. anyway yeah so thats the whole deal with crusch felix. and in its own right i think it has So Many Interesting Implications!!

i think when it comes down to it, gender presentation IS a bit of a performance, isn't it? like i love to wear dressses and skirts and i love to keep my hair short and wear suits, but you know - these sorts of things tend to be gendered. our gender is often perceived through how we present ourselves, but in recent years gender roles being attached to clothing has gotten a bit less Rigid. but these rigid roles associated with presentation are even more dialed up to Eleven in a medieval world like the rezero fantasy world. and i dont use the word "performance" in a negative way -

what i mean is that when it comes to felix's character, does felix think he's a boy because that's what he's been told? does he think he's a boy because he TRULY sees himself that way, or does he THINK he has to see himself as one? does felix try to present and perform femininity, ie as or like a traditionally feminine girl, purely ONLY for crusch's sake, or is it because felix ALSO WANTS to? what does felix think of gender outside of crusch? who is felix outside of crusch? who is felix outside of tying his entire personality to other people? does felix’s femininity show the “radiance of ferris’ soul” bc of the deal he made with crusch or bc this truly is felix’s soul? these are like the big questions behind his entire character and character arc that would determine in the end how felix identifies in both his gender and In General.

so what is felix's identity at the moment? bc right now, felix is stuck between his feminine self, tied to crusch, a symbol of crusch, tied to his own reliance on crusch and worship of her—and his masculine self, someone broken off from crusch. felix is tied to crusch right now to worrying extents with his obsessive devotion to the point of changing himself to mold into her image, and beyond that, hes still tied to guilt surrounding fourier’s death. gourmet of gluttony puts all of this way way more intelligently than i ever could, but at the end of the day, i think the best narrative decision here would be for felix to accept himself in ALL of his entirety.

healing in rezero is noted to be a kind power, specifically by fourier and fourier saying this right to felix when hes the most talented healer in lugunica, and healing itself is often stereotypically feminine activity. knighthood is stereotypically masculine, and on top of all this, we see in ex1 that biehn argyle twists the power of healing into something grotesque—trying to bring back the dead and revive what cant be revived, which is once again another reoccurring theme in rezero.

how far can “from zero” go? what HAS to stay dead and what can be revived? who is allowed to live? HOW do you live freely? felix is someone born from a horribly abusive and neglectful family who twisted healing magic’s kindness into cruelty, felix is someone who was taken into a family that showed him kindness and now hes desperate to pay them back with everything he has and everything he is, felix is a healer who lashes out when hes cornered and a healer who treasures life and a knight who cant physically fight like the others, felix is someone stuck with the horrible knowledge that he cant save everyone—that some things just Couldnt end better no matter how much he wished for it to.

felix is stuck between all kinds of worlds, and in terms of gender, hes quite literally still stuck between boyhood and manhood in the biological sense—hes purposefully made it so that he hasnt hit puberty yet so he can better pass as feminine. he hasnt Physically Grown past puberty—which is the mark of becoming an adult. and he hates himself in a number of ways, but he also hates himself for failing to be traditionally masculine. his abusive family stole ten years of his life and the torture left him physically weaker, so he cant be strong physically, which is something associated with traditional masculinity. felix is the best healer, a traditionally feminine job and skill, but he cant save everyone. felix becomes more feminine as part of his deal with crusch, but while crusch accepts her femininity and masculinity readily, and while crusch’s memory is erased by gluttony—felix is left behind, alone, still holding onto femininity while not entirely being able to hold onto it while he also cant entirely hold onto the traditional masculinity he expects out of himself. and with arc 3 on, felix feels hes failed both fourier and crusch. the two most important male and female figures in his life.

felix is basically stuck in this liminal space where hes not Enough for himself in literally every direction, and the only way out is to accept every part of himself and move forward by trying to define who he is without other people—his birth family and his found family dont define him. they can shape him, sure, but he has to stop shaping himself to meet them and figure out how to let himself just. Be. and take up a space thats firmly his. from a queer lens, this kind of thing is pretty queer—because to stop being in between worlds, you have to accept everything instead of splitting yourself into halves over and over again. killing or maiming yourself or parts of yourself is no way to live, and felix is Life itself.

and i think regardless of the Exact Labels you could give felix, i think his arc—which is perfectly in line with all of rezeros themes—is inherently about self acceptance and the bridging of the gap and combination of femininity and masculinity. felix is both and identifies, in one way or another, with both, similar to how he loves someone who identifies with both (crusch) and just as hes loved her and fourier. imo it wouldnt be right for felix to choose one or the other in terms of feminine vs masculine—he needs to be the one learning and navigating his honest feelings on both sides bc i think he Yearns to be both. hes a boy who dresses like a girl and its up to him to know if he wants to be a man and/or a woman due to his own internal desire or if parts of that is Only due to external pressures.

--

and alright now that ive said all my thoughts on felix atm im gonna address the other questions you had in your ask!! note that this is just my opinions and thoughts regarding my own experience in the english fandom, you dont have to agree or anything 👍

but i AM very sorry about your negative experiences in this fandom. T^T people calling other transphobic for using he/him for felix (and also people being transphobic about characters like felix or subaru/natsumi in general) is something ive seen as well. the rezero fandom is sadly very often toxic and Bigoted in a lot of ways (with the exception of rezero tumblr and certain segments of rezero ao3, from what ive seen), which is Ironic for a story thats so clearly about love and self-acceptance, which is also ironic because arguably tappei and otsuka and the rezero marketing team (i Love the female characters in rezero but theres just so much sexualized or vaguely sexist merch/moments that dont add to the story, you know? kind of just. misses the point of their characters sometimes.) sort of contribute to it a little bit as much as tappei does do some really great things with his writing.

rezero is the first fandom ive been active in but its definitely not the first ive ever been in, and ive been in some insane fandoms before. like i said earlier though, i think i just cope by curating my experience to what i like, yknow? liking posts i enjoy, looking at stuff i enjoy, etc :O !! fandom is a hobby so i try not to look at negative stuff when i can help it wkdnd. which im sure youre aware about already but i always have to keep reminding myself of this bc places like rezero reddit or twitter get pretty rough!! but its really helped me just following artists and creators i like, enjoying their content, chatting with cool people i vibe with, rezero tumblr being the chillest rezero space in the whole fandom, and its also helped me a lot making rezero content of my own—like this whole blog!! its really shocked me how much people seem to value my thoughts enough to ask me things frequently but i appreciate it pfft. and i hope you guys like reading my posts!!

but yeah like. curate, curate, curate. it helps a LOT and it gets me excited to experience rezero not only by myself you know? not that i didnt have fun by myself but its its own level of fun finally finding spaces to have fun with others!! and i LOVE finding beautiful fanart!! chef’s kiss. and trying to be the change i want to see is satisfying on its own :,) i want to post random shit about rezero, so i post it. i want to make fanart for fun and share it. i want to brute force people into loving otto more so i ottopost (dont worry, i still hate him bc true otto fans also hate him at the same time <3 /lh). i want more queer rezero content so i try to make some more!! brings more personal power i think and its very fun!! and it helps with lessening the quiet despair of fandom toxicity ;-;; (which is something ive done many times and will continue to do sometimes so i feel your pain 🫂) and i promise theres cool people in the fandom 👍 i may reply late to asks or dms but im ALWAYS down to talk about rezero things its so fun 👍👍

and its really really hard sometimes to deal with fandom toxicity especially if its forcefully knocking at your door—definitely dont force yourself to stay or look at things if you cant, bc thats totally understandable!! and i myself have been harassed a little in the past. but definitely having some sort of coping—the block button, backing out of things you dont agree with or like, lots and lots of curating, etc—helps me a lot. and i think mental health wise i feel much better trying to look on the bright side of things!! its MY hobby goddammit!! ill fight people subaru-style if they try to poison it!! and however long anyone reading this decides to spend with rezero and rezero tumblr—you are welcome here 👍

but yes my very Long rambling aside - i hope this post somewhat helped you!! felix is a very important character that i like very much and need to learn more about and i have Many Feelings on the english side of this fandom, but im very grateful to all the cool people ive met over the years here for sure!! :o

also ill probably post the finished version soon but if youve read this far here is a sneak peak of felix art i did recently (just as a reward for once again reading all of my Endless Yapping)👍👍

[crimsonhydrangeavn]

I wanted to ask this since yesterday but i kind of forgot to do it. Thank for your hard work! And congrats for updating the game!!! I hope you don't overwork yourself too much and take as many breaks you need.

Spoilers, maybe? Since my question is related to Day 2 and mostly, directed towards you dearest creator. 😋 I loved that wholesome moment where Garret invites you to his house and prepares a mug of... HOT CIDER for you? I didn't know that a drink such as HOT cider existed... All my life I only ever consumed sparkling cider (and it's the only drink that has alcohol in it that i tolerate), it piqued my interest! I don't know anyone who has ever tried it and i wanted to ask you that, would you recommend it? To drink, I mean. 😌 OH, and it has CINNAMON??? I never, never, NEVER tried something like that in my life and thanks to Garret I want to try it. I'm asking you since most of the writing and dialogue is based on your own knowledge and experiences, is that right? I'm not from North America, im from a whole different continent so I'm not sure if it is a well-known drink!

Also this is unrelated but THANK YOU for letting me curse at Teagan... This new update is my favorite of the moment! I was in love with Rita first... Now, Garret too. POOR RITA THOUGH, she really needs some love, i kind of understand why she seems so surprised when someone REALLY and genuinely cares about her. 💜

Thank you so much for your kind words! I’m so so glad you enjoyed the Day 2 update! It was a lot of work and it’s so reassuring to know that you enjoyed it as much as you did!

That’s a really interesting and great question! Since Crimson Hydrangea is based off of my experiences in the north eastern coast of America it’s really cool to hear learn that someone from a completely different continent is interested in learning more about the area!

I’m more than happy to explain the joys of hot apple cider to you! Granted I’m no expert, but I have sipped on a few different kinds and have enjoyed all of them.

So there are a few different versions of apple cider in the north east. The cold, carbonated, and alcoholic ones that you’re familiar with is usually called Hard ciders over here.

Then there’s local apple cider that you can really only get during the fall season. They’re usually made by pressing fresh apples and making juice from them. The consistency is usually a little thicker than normal apple juice and the color is also a lot darker than normal apple juice.

They also add spices to really compliment the flavor and make it taste even better. You can drink it hot or cold depending on preference. Though hot apple cider is a perfect drink to warm you up after being out in the cold all day long.

You can also add rum into it if you wanted to add a bit of alcohol as well

Personally I would highly recommend it! It’s one of my favorite drinks to have during the fall both cold and hot. I also really like hard ciders too during the summer! So if you like the taste of apples and don’t mind slightly thicker/pulpy drinks I think you’d enjoy it!

Haha! I’m more than happy to have you yell at Teagan any time you want! After all they deserve it after everything they put you through. ;)

I am glad that you’re starting to warm up to Garret, it’ll be fun to see everyone’s reactions when day 3 comes out!

And don’t worry, Rita will eventually come around to accepting she isn’t completely alone soon. ;)

[b3742864234]

Futa x reader, Futa x reader, Futa x reader. Please please. There aren’t that many out there, which is a shame~

Ok so for this I decided to do just regular relationship hcs (lmk if you want a pre milgram him xreader about how you got together as i already wrote one for current him) buut i included both pre-milgram fuuta and the fuuta we have now :)

Pre-milgram silly

he can and will be agressively protective of you

im talking like, if someone looks at you wrong he is not afraid to get in a fight with them

he's proud to show you his accomplishments (by that i mean. getting a whole group of people to bully others)

but also, he's be very proud of you

he's the kinda person that will show off his s/o at any chance he can get

annoying-couple style, he posts about how cool and great you are

he easily adapts to your love language, he treats your needs as more important than anyone else's

his love language is physical touch. so get ready

he plays soccer with you :)

if you don't know how to play/aren't that good at it, he teaches you instead

when he first asked you to play you were. surprised to say the least

smth smth twitter user goes outside !?

sorry

but still. he doesn't seem like the kinda person to enjoy sports all that much

if you're in any way artsy or just want to get out and do something, he's the one

like in backdraft's mv, i imagine he actually enjoys drawing graffiti

it's a nice way to destress, express yourself, all that

if you mess up it's whatever. who's gonna judge a graffiti drawn in some secluded place

he draws you at one point. it's not the best but you know he tried his best.?

you both take a few selfies in front of the art :)

it's Your Spot <3

.........

he found out about his victim's death when he was with you

and oh. oh

he didn't mean to do this

he just. stares there at his phone, mumbling excuses to himself

because he's not a murderer, right?

you wouldn't date a murderer.

he's okay. he didn't do anything bad

he just hopes you don't blame him

Milgram silly

he feels weird about this relationship

in a way that, he doesn't fully understand your reasons to date him.

but he's happy with you

he often says how you're "the only normal one here" and you "keep him sane"

he's joking. obv

half joking

if you're a prisoner, he fully believes you are innocent

honestly i feel like he wouldn't even date you if he thought otherwise

as in, he'd first have to know your story and then he'd judge you based on that

if you're a guard? that's a funky dynamic

the annoying loud angry prisoner becoming more and more calm around That One Guard

everyone is quick to notice, which results in him kind of avoiding you

he fails miserably. you are a guard. there is no escaping

either way he cares about you. a lot

he talks about you to haruka

it started kind of involuntarily. haruka just asked him about his opinion on you

and oh boy. he sure had an Opinion

he "offhandedly" complimented you a lot, noticed a lot more details about you than about other prisoners

haruka understood the situation. pretty quickly

he does not mind :) he finds it kinda cute

anyways

fuuta thinks about you. a lot

he likes to imagine you both in different scenarios, he has soo many ideas for you guys for when he's (or you both) released

speaking of which, you're his new motivation to get out of milgram

he now just wants to live with you, be free to do whatever he wants, all with you, without That Feeling at the back of his mind that someone is watching (other prisoners/guards)

:)

[ticklystuff]

hey there :3 i humbly request a, c, d, h, and u for argenti pls and thank u 🙏

-🌻

ask game closed, thx!

AHHHH hello again! i hope you enjoy these, argenti is so pretty *sobs*

A: Aftercare | What is their aftercare like after a heavy round of tickling?:)

omg he showers his lee with kisses while holding them tightly and tells them how great they did and hands out compliments like "you have the most beautiful laugh" like it's candy, but he really does mean it

C: Chase | What are their chances in a chase, both as a lee and ler?

oh as a lee, im getting klutz vibes from him LOL he tries to run and just trips and falls on his own ankles but like gracefully

but also as ler, maybe he's still a klutz, but he doesn't give up so he will eventually catch his lee because they will tire out and argenti does not it's inevitable

D: Death Spot | What is their most ticklish spot?

HIS THIGHS i feel like he would have such a pretty laugh that is just perfect to the ears, but then you squeeze his thighs and he just lets out this shrill scream

H: Habits | As a lee/ler or both, do they have specific habits when it comes to tickling?

i feel like as a ler, he pays a lot of attention to how his lee is doing while tickling them and is in tune with their overall state without the lee having to say anything, so if he feels like they're being tickled too much, then he'll dial it back, but then if it's not enough, then he'll start wrecking them, but there's always this perfect balance that he keeps when tickling someone, so yes he can be a really mean ler when he wants to be, but it'll never be bad enough to the point where it's uncomfortable

also as a ler, he will absolutely remove his lee's hands from their face if they even attempt to cover their smile

as a lee, i feel like he'd be open to revealing his spots, but not verbally. if he feels like his ler is trying really hard to tickle him and they're not doing so well, he'll just take one of their hands and guide it to a particularly bad spot. i don't think he would mind lol

U: Unusual | Do they have some unusual tickle spots? Where?

yes he does! this man gets manicures regularly and probably has the prettiest hands. but yeah! his hands are just super sensitive in general, from the palms to the space between his fingers

also i saw fanart of him one time and he had a beauty mark on the side of his face and i think he would let out soft giggles if someone were to kiss him there

also idk i get the vibe that the tops of his feet are sensitive too!

[supergigabigboybabechad]

idk if i interpret your posts right but it seems like you do matchups for twisted wonderland? May I get one?

Im female and go by she/her. Im an ENTP, my zodiac is gemini and I’m about 165cm tall. I’m pretty energetic and always smile since hard feelings like grief, anger or sadness are really overwhelming for me since I am pretty „sensitive“ meaning I take most things to heart easily. I always give advice and help to others and I try to be the best version of myself to make them feel comfortable. I make lots of bad jokes while knowing they are bad. I get lots of compliments for my Singing voice and writing. I also love love love to Infodump like i can talk for hours about something or someone I like. I love wearing pink things with ruffles or lace and I’d say I’m pretty girly over all. I try to act tough and always give everything to make others happy. Im a Great cook and a hopeless romantic. I also have a 8 step skincare routine… I see beauty and worth in everything and love to help people build confidence and self-love. My favorite artist is currently Mitski, since I really relate to her music. I have some father problems going on which make me want to be cared for, but at the same time I have mother problems since my mother was emotionally absent after my dad left, which makes me want to care for people. 🫂

Hope our have a good day or night and Drink enough!<3

Hi! Thank you for being so conscious of me and im so flattered you liked my last matchup enough to ask for one yourself but i love people telling me about themselves so your ask was a happy suprise and really made my day! I didnt expect to get that much attention but hey! If anyone else wants a matchup from me youre more than welcome to send info in! The more the better! Extra little jazz: if you want to send up info the way you would for a matchup and get hcs for a specific char youve got it! Also, if you want your info priv you can lemme know in your ask and ill tag you or you can go by an anon title(ex: leaf anon/ 🍃 anon)and ill mention ur title in the post, if you do this I wont post ur anonymous ask Like last time we have options in order from less to most compatible imo🔥

4. Jack Howl

Upon first meeting you, jack would claim to not care for you

But the thing is, deep down he doesn’t want your feelings getting hurt at nrc, the boys there can be real mean for no reason

He’s also worried about people taking advantage of your kindness

His words and actions conflict as he insists on walking with you everywhere “to be a man” or so he claims

He’d probably scold you about how you’re never putting yourself first leading to you telling him about your want to help others be their best selves

This would get him thinking, he thought you were weak for “letting people walk all over you” but really it’s just selflessness

He’s into the idea of self betterment so he gives you an enthusiastic speech about how you’re doing good work

After that day he sees you in a new light, the definitions of resilience and strength to him have taken on new meaning

He’s always looking to improve, he’d take your advice to heart and trusts you most with his emotional problems

Hes gotta open up to somebody, the tough guy act can’t be a forever thing, you’re clearly the best person for the job

Hes pretty mature so he won’t say anything mean to you even as a joke

He wont let others do that to you either, you wont have to tell him if something bothers you, hes protective so more times than not he’ll defend you

Hes still too macho to let you know just how much he cares but it slips out in his actions

When he can see your upset(Ace was probably mean to you) he’ll insist on walking you back to your dorm after in other words, telling ace to shut up

Hell softly squeeze your hand on the way back and make a comment about what happened earlier off handedly

Say ace was bein birtchy ab the way you dress, before leaving you to enter ramshackle he’d say “I think pink is nice for you” while awkwardly looking away

Jack wouldn’t know how to respond in the moment of receiving affections while you’re taking care of him but his tail will wag so you’ll know he’s enjoying it and he definitely wont protest.

Jack would care for you too in the more traditional masculine way of walking you to class and escorting you here and there

He’d show you the affection you desire but be verbally round aboit with it.

Holding out his jacket to you, he’d insist you take it, not in a very romantic way.. but still, he’s so easy to read you can tell how shy he was

3.Trey Clover

Trey would love your look!!

You would remind him of a cake

In fact, hed make a cake to match you as a suprise

Most likely as a gift for helping out ace and deuce despots what a pain they can be

He really appreciates how kind you can be and your willingness to help others

It really takes a load off his shoulders with the first years coming to you every now and then, he knows how much work they can be so a cake is the least he can do

Knowing your living situation in ramshackle and with Crowley’s LIMITED allowance hed take care of you subtly

Inviting you to join heartslabyul for tea and having you over to help with schoolwork

Hes be more forthright from time to time making you lunch and bringing you food

During tea times and unbirthday parties hed always invite you to sit next to him

He’d use that time to talk to you about how you’re doing, he notices how you’re always caring for others he needs to make sure you’re being looked after as well

During this time you might get into infodumping

He finds the way you get cute and would ask questions just to see you passionate

If you cook for him he’d love it! In fact, upon telling him that you cook he’d start inviting you over to help him out or offer to come help you out(he knows you’ve got enough in your plate) as an excuse to have some alone time together

Hes Great at comforting people so if something someone says hurts you you’ll have him to lean on

That being said he’s also an upperclassman and well respected

If he catches you hurt by what someone says he’ll wrap his arm around your waist to reassure you and ask the person what’s wrong and how he can resolve the issue

Trey gives dad jokes vibes he’d find your jokes endearing

From time to time hed I’m sure he’d even genuinely find them funny

Trey isnt used to being cared for the way you take care of him

Hes usually on the giving end but hardly ever the receiving, its special to him and he remembers each moment and is truly great full for it

Hed return the favor and care for you more, hes a good boyfriend so he’s always making sure to give what he gets

He loves when you help him take a break, the way you encourage him to take care of himself as well as remind him of how he matters reminds him of how lucky he was to have landed someone so caring

2. Rook Hunt

BEAUTÉ 100 POINTS

He finds you so cute! Your beauty is so different from Vil’s or Neige’s

You’re like a lone tulip adorned with dew in the morning shining brighter than the rest of the dull leaves

Hes Tell you that in more words and write you poems, be ready to receive many odes to your beauty

He’d love to hear you sing you have his full attention

In fact hed write poems and sonnets for you to read too

Your singing is so lovely, you must have a beautiful voice! He’d listen to you talk for HOURS just listening to your voice and taking in how beautiful you are while you speak

He loves the your stop and smell the roses attitude, he finds that it adds to your beauty

Your beautiful way of thinking adds to the depth of your beauty

Hell have fun looking within your kind spirit and discovering new beautiful things about you

He loves your ability to cook, he’d love to have you pack him something while he goes out hunting

Rook is a very passionate man and very knowledgable, you’d both end up info dumping on each other too, you’d say a lot of random stuff to each other that and neither of you would even be phased

The hopeless romantic part of you will definitely love being with rook

He’s writing you love letters, giving you flowers. His confession was likely intimate and private but also grand, a beauty for your eyes only

Rook also has a keen eye for beauty. He’d take you to see his favorite sights and sing to you of the beauty before him

He’d also take you hunting!

He understands if you’re not too keen on the actual hunting part. You can both hunt beauty with your eyes

Rook is good natured at heart though it’s hard to see with what he says

When he speaks it may come off as an insult but truly he just sees the beauty in your flaws and can’t help but comment on it

I Hope his positive tone comes through but hell definitely notice if it hurts you

“Mon amour! I meant it in the highest complements! You’re beauty but transgresses perfection and seeps into the cracks filling your beautiful form! Mais je suis désolé ma chérie.. I will refrain if it is what will make you smile most.”

Room would love to help you with your skin care routine! I know that sounds weird.. kinda because it is?

If you’d let him.. he’d wash your face for you, apply serum essence, your entire routine

He’s beaming the whole time like a giddy child but he’s also treating you delicately like he’s washing a porcelain doll.

He’s very Open to receiving affection and having you care for him. You wouldn’t have to question whether or not he appreciates it, it’s written all over him! .. and he’ll tell you how thankful he is

Room would follow you around like he worships the ground you walk on. You just keep on surprising him with the depth of your beauty, he can’t get enough!

1. Jade Leech

Princess and her capable butler vibes❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

Jade would keep an eye on you out of pure curiosity at first.

You’d seldom find someone so willing to help others out of the goodness of their hearts like you would, especially at NRC

He follows you around finding your “obliviousness” entertaining. The way you cant See the danger you’re clearly putting yourself in

With all the aggressive students things can get ugly but before any of that would have happened, Jade would be stepping in to make sure things didn’t escalate (after he’s had his fill on entertainment)

You would thank him for his help and he’d inquire about your helping and positive attitude

“You do know that they’d just trying to take advantage of you right? Dont you? Why do you insist on helping them?”

After telling him about trying to bring out the best in others and only wanting to help them love themselves, Jade is even more dumbfounded

He finds it cute, from your character to your cute clothes, you truly are unique…

With Jade around people would know better than to hurt your feelings and if they were dumb enough to try to intentionally… well, you wouldn’t see it but Jade would handle it

Jade would love your singing and would love for you to sing for him on your dates

Are you an outdoorsy person? Because for dates he’d bring you out on hikes to show you all the beauty, from the scenery and landscape to the smallest dainty flowers

You wouldn’t have to worry about packing or holding your own bag Jade would hold it for you. Worried you might fall? Hell catch you don’t even worry there’s no way you’d even get a scratch when you’re with him.

While on your hike you might point out some things you like, flowers, trees anything really.

Hed make mental note of it and make a terrarium for you with what you found beautiful together

Hed decorate the outside too to make sure it was up to your standards. Pearls, lace, pink bows, it so cute!

Jade would dote on you too, not too much in gifts, you get them here and there but Jade is definitely a quality time/acts of service guy.

He’d sit down and just listen to you talk, talk about whatever! Info dumping, your day, especially your day, he wants to know where you are

You do so much for people, helping them build their self love but who’s doing that for you? Jade will.

He’d constantly tell you about how nice you look and what a nice thing you did, making sure to never overlook your achievements and congratulate you on each one.

He’d make you tea or some water to make sure you’re hydrated and something to eat while you talk to make sure you have enough energy

Then it’ll just be the two of you, talking and showing how much you love each other as well as making sure you both love yourselves

[irlbkgs]

💖🎃🧸 for the ask game? with any f/os you wanna talk about !! :]

💖 - what's the nicest compliment they've ever given you? what's the nicest compliment you've ever given them?

adrian: sooo he kind of word vomits all the time which means a lot of his compliments are just like. jumbles of words that don't really make sense. that being said because he does word vomit a lot and he's naturally very affectionate that means there's like. no end to the compliments even if they're really simple or dumb. i think probably the nicest compliment he's given me was probably saying for how often i act stupid im actually not and he appreciates that at least at times i can help him with things he has little to no experience with. even if he's older he's still got things he knows nothing about.

as for nicest compliment ive given him its really hard to say because im not much of the type to compliment, it either makes me feel really shy or like i dont know if the words im using are right so i just Dont. but i def try more with my partners bc ik its unfair to never compliment them, especially in adrian's case bc he does it all the time. i try to give him little ones just on his appearance and stuff but i think the one he probably appreciated most was just me telling him he's fucking fantastic at dnd. like dming or playing a character, he's great at roleplaying and voices and coming up with things to move the plot along and memorizing actions and spells etc etc. im fucking dogshit at all of it so its like watching the grandmaster of nerd shit do his thing and not break a sweat. very cute but also very impressive.

daryl: now for daryl, we're both on the same page with compliments. he doesn't know how to choose the right words and he isnt very good with emotional stuff so his compliments mostly consist of "you look pretty" if i dress up or "good job" whenever that's applicable. one of the compliments that he's given me that rly stuck out tho was literally just him appreciating me being patient with him bc i wouldn't consider myself a patient person in general but when it comes to emotional stuff i try to give him as much grace as possible bc i also want some myself. we're both super stunted in that department so i try to be lenient lol

nicest compliment ive given him is probably in a similar vein, ive thanked him at least a couple times for taking care of me bc he really doesnt have to but its something that really feels special to me bc i cant remember the last time ive had somebody actually do that for me. actions speak louder than words for me as well so simple shit like letting me get extra rest, cooking and cleaning up make me just as happy as a compliment.

🎃 - have you guys ever carved pumpkins together? do you visit a pumpkin patch, or buy one from the store? or maybe you grew it? what would your pumpkins look like?

adding billy to this one bc its halloween stuff lul

billy: obviously he's a big halloween guy but funnily enough i wasnt allowed to celebrate halloween growing up for religious reasons so stuff like carving pumpkins feels special but also very tedious to me bc there's zero nostalgia and i dont think billy would care much for that specific tradition either. i might drag him out to the patch to pick out some pumpkins for decoration but carving isnt likely to happen. apple picking however...he complains but he helps bc if he doesnt he gets no pie :>

if we did carve, his design would be way more detailed and better looking than mine. itd be like contest worthy. id just do one of those store bought designs and somehow butcher it anyways.

adrian: he is big on carving pumpkins!! but bad at it!! just as bad as me so its a lot of throwing guts at each other and then ruining our pumpkins so bad we cant even display them. we'd roast the seeds for a snack tho :3

daryl: we would not be doing allat but we would (if we could) watch some movies. im thinking alexandria era us would involve a lot of picking up any movies we find on runs and just watching anything we have, even if it has nothing to do with halloween. if we did have halloween movies, daryl would fucking haaaate my picks but deal with it bc he looooves me and id hate his too so its okay. he's def more of a serious horror fan whereas i like horror comedy.

🧸 - it's valentine's day! what stereotypical valentine's day gift does your f/o give you? a box of chocolates, perhaps a stuffed animal?

billy: at best, jewelry, maybe some plain little silver chain with his initial (possessive much?) but besides that i think he wouldn't go with a classic gift. he'd get movies, merch, knives, but roses? stuffies? god no. and i don't even like chocolate so that's def out of the question.

adrian: flowers for sureeee and possibly a stuffie if he was feeling extra. he'd get flowers with my favorite colors (pink and green) but he'd make sure they didn't mean anything bad before he got em bc he's slightly superstitious. stuffie would be of the hello kitty or skelanimals variety.

daryl: also probably wouldn't do a classic gift, but is again partial to jewelry. it would be nothing fancy, just a bracelet, but it would be handmade which would make it way more special. he'd get help from carol who probably learned to do stuff like that with sofia.

[play-rough]

I SERIOUSLY love your writing ssm <33 and to me (ex-fanfic writer) it's impressive how well you do EVERYTHING. (REMEMBER TO TAKE BREAKS WHEN YOU NEED IT)

Sometimes im litch like "Oh my god. feelings. very well written and descriptive, and I relate to it. Great." and copy-paste it to my notes (I don't even use it for anything, it's just for like 'accurate stuff' 😭)

And uh. Off topic I hate windows 11 emojis. Except the devil one. Everything else is horrid.

But back to the point your writing is f fantastic. <3

The feelings pain me too haha 😭 I feel like you can clock everything about me based off my fics lol

Thank you so much for the compliments 🩷 means a lot to hear

[firstdivisiongirl]

Hiiii! How are you??? :) hope you are having a good day<3 may I ask for a romantic Tokyo revengers matchup, please??

My pronouns are she/her and I'm bisexual, but mostly attracted to men. I'm usually very friendly with everyone and willing to help people. I make friends easily and I'm very easygoing, like I could make friends with other random girls on the streets because if I find a girl very pretty or I like her style I usually come up to her and tell her and we start talking and talking like we already knew each other, lol. I'm very very loyal with my friends and family and I'm willing to go confront someone for them if they are having beef with someone else and asking for my help. I talk a lot about things that I like but I am a very good listener. I'm also very very forgetful and very very messy. I'm not good at school, like at all, I just have my head in the clouds most of the time. I'm also a very affectionate and touchy friend, most people find me pretty funny and chill, I tend to swear a lot even in normal conversations, even when I'm not mad, and I fall in love soooo easily, like way too easily😭 I have very very low standards even though I like more older, masculine and tall guys I also really really don't mind nerds, sensitive boys, artists, ykwim?? But I usually gravitate towards people who I think can take care of me and give me a little bit of princess treatment, patient lovers. I'm also kind of the type of girlfriend who is kinda like your best friend. But I just fall very easily and get heartbreaks a lot. I'm a very sensitive person, very empathetic, but sometimes I'm unintentionally rude to my friends or other people, so I can be rude and uncalled sometimes and I'm very ashamed of that after, and sometimes especially with professors I can be easy to put up a fight with since I have a sharp tongue- my hobbies are drawing, photography, watching anime, singing, theater, acting,the history of cinema and animation, makeup and hanging out with my friends :)

I dislike people who are mean just because they think it's fun to be randomly mean to someone, people who look at you weird or snob you when you compliment them, when people touch my stuff without asking, when someone hurt animals and people who just can't stand up for themselves not even a little bit. I really like Italian old love songs, love books from the 50s 60s (they are literally so romantic without being cliche), musicals, disney movies expecially the old ones, animation, flowers (even though im allergic🧍🏻‍♀️), making people laugh, imprevedibile and fun people, dressing feminine, horror and romantic movies, videogames, old rock and romantic music.

I'm 5'0 with long long brown hair with highlights and bangs, amber eyes with long lashes, thin lips, a mole next to my nose and I always try to smile bc I like how I look when I smile :) my skin is pretty taken care of and clear, i love dressing feminine but mostly dress with baggy pants and a crop top or compression shirt, something like that, but sometimes i love putting on very short miniskits and platforms to look taller (I never wear non-platform shoes bc I wanna look taller). Also I love wearing hello kitty stuff😭❤️

I feel like this is way too much I am so so sorry- you can ignore if you don't feel like doing it🙏❤️

Have a great day, love the way you write, keep it up :D

Hi. I am doing pretty good. You didn't write too much at all and I would never ignore it. And thank you for the kind words. I want to let you know that I picked someone who could be considered controversial. If you don't like it, DM me and I will give you another. I hope you like it!

You Got...

Tetta Kisaki!!!!

I know. He's...him. But hear me out!

He's into girls who are friendly and super nice. You also give me Hina vibes.

He seems to be into very into things like history and film. I think you two would talk about film, it's history, how different camera angles are used, etc.

He would get you so many vintage things like books and old records. Anything to see you smile.

He would love that you fall so easily. That means it is easier for him to win you over. Although, he will try very hard to be the perfect partner.

WILL NEVER BREAK YOUR HEART!!!!!!!!!!!!

Will treat you like a princess.

Most people would think he would hate someone who is not great in school. But I believe he would like that because then he could tutor you and spend more time with the person he loves.

Slow dancing to old songs in the living room!

Would love that you can fight for yourself. Makes him worry less about you and your wellbeing. He will still worry, but a little less

And lastly, he will love you no matter what. If you are rude, he will love you. When you are upset, he will love you.

Please do not copy, modify, translate or repost my writing on other platforms. Comments, reblogs and likes are highly appreciated!

[lovebvni]

HEEEY ! Amora again , Roaaar 😭 ( I am tired 😔)

KDKFKF thank you ! That’s actually too sweet of you :333 AND I GIVE THE COMPLIMENT BACK BY PULLING AN UNO REVERSE CARD ( I can’t add pictures when anonym :// )

Ngl this reading is very accurate 🤺 ( cuz one of fav colors are Red , PINK & black [ shuush ik it’s not really a color 😭😔 /pf {playful} ]

and I also like to think I am more of an optimist! And like to spread h o p e even tho I may not believe in the situation to 100% <//3 😔

Roses >>>> they‘re my favs ! They‘re so bright , meaningful , and they really embody many different aspects of love , friendship and happiness in my eyes (≧ᗜ≦)

Yes !!! I am trying my best and I am 100% sure that my life will get better soon 🩷 !! My guides promised me but it’s also in my guts and all that good stuff

Water fountain is such a cute , also a bit sad but deep song :(( <3 I MEAN I GOT KINDA THE MESSAGE ?? BUT THEN I HEADED TO GOOGLE TO GET THE SONG MEANING AND THEN I WAS LIKE : oh :(

BUT DWW ! IK IT‘S POSITIVE ⭐️ and it made me really happy to see the song and overall when I say you replied to me , I smiled and was excited 🤍 ( the white heart is btw SOOO PRETTY ?! )

<3333 THANK YOU A LOT BTW !! And I think the second advise is target at me being a bit of a procrastinator at times !! So I think I 'have' to pull myself today pretty much together and just DO IT ✨

—-

" I stay up too late

I am everything I hate

Play video games

Until I melt away "

(— sleep paralysis by Elita )

( never heard of the song before :00 )

—-

😭… fun fact : my sleep schedule is a mess rn.. LIKE A TOTAL MESS ( staying awake till 6-9 am , sleeping till 2-4 pm 😔🙌 , and sometimes taking naps at 8 pm ) and I’ve been playing pretty late games ( today it was 3:30 am <///3 )

So I am guessing it was targeted at me doing it and that I maybe should k e e p going ( lolol ) aka kinda as you said , maybe a state of being too tired !! I was planning on staying awake for aaaa long time but then I get weak again cuz I love to sleep 😮‍💨 SO AHHH🙏

( btw writing this texts makes me nervous /pos , cuz ahhhh i know i will shift very soon and it‘s great <333 )

thank you again for all of your help and your interpretations and time <33 it really helped me c: , especially getting called out </3 😭 ( also : you have a very impressive gift ! And I am sure you‘ll help many others with it , but don’t forget yourself on the way :((<33 !! )

It really resonated with me 🤍! I hope you’re doing well and that you also take care of yourself, cuz I can imagine that it can get pretty draining working with much and different energies and all :(( cleansing and recharging!!!<33

HELP I SOUNDED LIKE A MOTHER WKFKFK 😭…

🤍🙌

The song : Where do we go ? — Weston Estate , is so pretty :(( one of my fav songs btw :3 if you‘d like to take a listen 🤍 ( it also reminds me of one of drs )

HELOP I LOVE U SMM!!

IM WISHING U THE BEST AND ILL B WAITING FOR AN UODATE

i also added the song to shufflemancy!! :D i’ll listen to it soon

(also the shufflemancy playlist if u want it)

[minniepetals]

i’ve read lots of fics. from the very emm unorganised storyline, to perfecto storyline. or the messed up vocabulary/grammars to the most AI-like vocab and grammar fics. or the fluffiest fics to the most disgusting/ disturbing fics - i’ve read it all throughout my reading fanfics journey-

and i must say that cmar is really quiet the disturbing one- no hate though seriously, i just read all the genre and appreciate the story as it’s the art of literature in language and story. i love literature btw and right now pursuing my degree in this field.

thus im here just to share my two cents, that cmar is really quiet near to the masterpiece. why quiet near? because i have to wait till this piece of story finish- to comprehend the whole storyline and the ending. eheks- not doing research don worry, i just here learning to analyse since i have class that i learned how to analyse a poem/ stories etc. ㅋㅋㅋㅋ something akin to review ?? yes. and my prof said that to be a great writer you have to get feedback from readers- and i love you, ergo you know what i mean right ;)

what is disturbing? the character development. mc’s character quiet disturbing as she’s been through a lot of abusive past. also she lives is criminal environment, dark and vicious, thus i understand why she’s act like how she is. also, i like it how she stands up for herself even though she’s broken. she’s really strong for that even though i might say it’s 50-50 she’s strong yet she’s broke - so that’s a whole lot of a person could endure but she had it all.

what is more, the antagonists characters, her father, leehyun, karl, kihyun, etc- lots of them, like really lots- and honestly? i can’t keep track on them, and confused between these characters and their bad deeds. and i am so so sorry that sometimes i keep skipping some parts,thereby after awhile i go back and re read it again to understand the plot better-

sometimes i feel like, the focus on throwback were too much?? but somehow i feels like it’s necessary because the flashback will justify the current action why the characters do that. right?? but is there any other way to write it so that the readers don’t feel like to skip the part?? i’ve been meaning to ask that - welp it can be a question in my next class . :3

for the boys (our tannies) there’s not much i can say though, because there’s not much exposure on them for these few chapters- thus, im hoping in future chapters maybe?? well that’s up to you ;)

overall, i really hope that you take this as a compliment im so sorry if i misled or something but i am really said this as a compliment. because, i had this one assessment and i really tried hard to write something that out of my comfort zone. i was trying to write something like this for my assessment but my prof said that i don’t quiet reach there yet- thus i just opted to write something small and sad and not quiet like this, a bit shame on me but still got an A so yeah- ㅋㅋ

thereby, i really speak highly of you writing cmar. because it’s really fun reading it !! btw thanks for the update on new chapter <3

take care and stay healthy ❤️

asdfghjkl thank you for using your pursuit for literature and looking at my work through an analytical standpoint lmao. it's honestly so great to hear insight from the perspective of a reader. one thing i'd definitely like to note on is your point on the antagonists. i completely understand with just skipping over a few things when it comes to them, which is honestly fine lmao, i tend to do that when i'm ready other stuff as well. i'm not sure how i can write it in a way where you wouldn't feel like skipping through some stuff to be honest. y/n's traumas are highlighted through these antagonists and i guess when it comes to cmar, it just isn't your typical romantic fanfiction stuff. whereas many fics focuses on their y/n and the character they're writing the fanfic based on, or they just mainly focus on the boys in general, cmar's focus is on y/n and her trauma.

i guess you can say in a way, it's less fanfiction and more story-like, since there are insights into these antagonists, as well as y/n and her people, her reapers, instead of the main focus being on mending the relationship between y/n and the boys.

i do see that i definitely should incorporate more moments with the boys. next chapter focuses on one of the guys so you'll get that there.

all in all, i enjoy writing cmar so much, as difficult as it is, and having this part of the work (your analysis) is really nice and refreshing, so thank you for that 💛

[spaceyflowers]

not an artist myself, but i just gotta say i really agree with solki -- you give really detailed comments (in the tags hehe) about what you love about the art, what you found amazing, and all that.

it takes a great artist too to be able to pinpoint exactly what parts they love about an artwork. (i for one, don't have a great eye for that)

you're doing god's work by providing so much encouragement to everyone <33 (i'm not even an artist, but the stuff you comment also on the stuff i take time to make are so <3) (and seeing you do it for lookism artist makes me happy, such a warm & positive response makes way for more art for us!)

looking forward to seeing more of your art in the future so we can give appreciation to it too. love u. :-)

jann im speechless 😭😭😭😭 this is so sweet and ever part of this means so much to me + the fact that u took the time to type all of this out and send it T_T 💖💖💖

its such high praise thank u so much !!! 💓💕💞💕💘💓💘💖💕💖💕💕

love u too and i hope ur having a great day/night 💖

(not to be a cheesy ass bitch but a lot of what i do stems from my own experience; i know what its like to made fun of for expressing joy/talking a lot about something and that shit hurts so i never want anyone to experience that,,

thats why i love giving compliments and encouragement bc happy ppl make me happy and i think its cute when people get excited about what they love :] cringe culture is dead, be free!!! and always rmbr kindness makes the world go around!!!!!!)