#me when i'm sexy and a genius and amazing and and

[mikachacha]

𝙹𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚢 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙲𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚒 (𝙹𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚞𝚜! 𝙱𝚊𝚍𝚊 𝙻𝚎𝚎 𝚡 𝚃𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝙱𝚎𝚋𝚎! 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛)

Synopsis: You're trying to help your group promote your choreography for Hwasa's chili by doing a solo. What you didn't expect is for your video to blow up, attracting the people's attention and having a lot of people trying to flirt with you which made Bada, your girlfriend, very jealous.

Warnings: language and jealous Bada

(A/N: i have lots of fun making this 🥺🥺 thanks anon for your wonderful suggestions love ya 🫶🫶)

(Edit: i posted this earlier but tumblr is a hating bitch rn and deleted the bottom half right after the a/n)

🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸

You woke up fairly early that morning, Bada went to the studio to prepare for her class while you went out to jog. After your jog, you thought it was a good idea to record a video of you dancing to Chili by Hwasa and using your group's choreography to also help promote your group. You picked out a quiet spot before you set your phone to start recording.

When you were finally satisfied with your video, you posted it on instagram. You didn't really expect anything when you posted that video so you just went on your day, totally forgetting about it Sowoen face timed you, the camera pointing at Bada who's currently sulking. You're confused and amused at the same time, you could hear the other girls laughing in the background and teasing Bada for being sulky and jealous.

"What happened to her? Why is she like that?" you asked Sowoen who were barely able to contain her laughter as Bada just lied down on the floor, looking like a kicked puppy, whining about everybody simping over her girlfriend on the internet that made the others laugh even more.

"Y/N-unnie your video is really viral right now and Bada-unnie is mad because everyone is literally simping and flirting with you." you heard Minah explain off cam. You quickly check your instagram and your notification is blowing up with thousands of likes, comments and new followers. Your dm's isn't doing any better. So many messages from random people and some pretty big names, all of them telling you that you're amazing at dancing. You couldn't help but giggle while reading some of the comments then you saw Chocol and Haechi's comments on your video. Even Akanen and Ling left some praises on your video. You had to bite the inside of your cheek to prevent yourself from laughing, now understanding why Bada is acting that way. She must've read the comment Haechi left on your video that made her very jealous.

"I'm just gonna get changed then head over to the studio so please tell Bada to calm her jealous ass." you said and soon got ready to meet Bada and your team. When you got there, Bada was already by the entrance waiting for you. A huge pout on her face before engulfing you in a hug. You smile and hug her back, whispering reassuring words to her so she can calm down.

"I'm proud that you're getting the recognition that you deserve but then I saw most of the comments are talking about how sexy you looked during the part where you twerked a bit then also there are people flirting with you.." Bada ranted and you could see the others watching not too far away, giggling at how their leader is currently acting.

"By others flirting with me, you mean Haechi? Baby, Haechi and I are just good friends. I chose you, I chose to be with you. I'm yours and no one is taking me away, okay? I love you, Lee Bada even if you're all jealous right now." you assured her but couldn't help tease her at the end because you rarely see this side of Bada, the jealous part and you found it extremely adorable. She just shot you a playful glare before kissing you on the lips, finally having calmed down from her jealous and sulky mood.

You returned the kiss and dragged her back to the studio where the others waited before having a genius idea of posting a video of you and Bada dancing to Chili and maybe goof around so she'll feel better.

"Another episode of Bada-unnie being so whipped for Y/N-unnie. Never gets old.." you heard Cheche comment and you giggled, agreeing with the younger member of your group. All of you posted a video of dancing to Chili then goofing around before you pulled Bada so you can have a video of just the two of you together. Both of you are all smiles while dancing then she decides to kiss you at the end, making you blush. She grabbed your phone and posted the video without any thought, feeling pleased with herself. You just rolled your eyes at her before kissing her cheek.

"Jealous ass.." You teased her and she pinched your cheek playfully which you reciprocated.

"Can't help it since my girlfriend is just way too hot." Bada retorts and you smile at her, just placing kisses all over her face. You could see your other teammates making exaggerated gagging noises through the mirror to which Bada responded with her middle finger raised.

[padfootagain]

Black Dog Neighbour

Hi everyone ! Today, we’re answering a request made for my 6k followers event by @nobodyshomearchive : “hi hello lovely xxi have been hooked to your blog lately, and to say that is an understatement in all honesty. congratulations on 6k followers <33 so for your celebration can i get an enemies to lovers (ouh massive surprise 👀) with sirius black (preferably post azkaban but it's okay if you don't want to!) cause i'm literally so head over heels for that man. and i'm loving your something good series :) again, congrats and feel free to ignore the request if you don't feel like writing it/it doesn't hit your creative spot.

have a great day/night hun <;3”

Thank you so much for your request, and I hope you like this! I didn’t do post-azkaban Sirius, because he doesn’t exist in my brain. I have been in denial for so long, the Potters are living their best lives, didn’t you know?!

Anyway, still went for post-Hogwarts and post-war Sirius, simply didn’t include anything referencing to Azkaban or… anything canon compliant, to be fair. But as per usual for me when it comes to this character…

Hope you like this! Tell me what you think!

****

Pairing: Sirius Black x reader

Warnings: A small warning for an ex being an arse and showing up drunk on your doorstep (there’s nothing violent, but you do physically push him away, so heads up on that, just in case). But the rest’s cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute!!!

Summary: God, you hate that guy next door. Bloody annoying neighbour with his noisy motorcycle, his loud friends, his annoying laugh, his charming smile, his amazing hair, his effortless way to sport sexy leather jackets. He’s insufferable, you hate him to bits. The fact that he’s a talented wizard who can magically change into a dog to guard your door when your ex comes bothering you again will not change your first impression in the slightest, by the way. You still hate him to guts. Probably…

Word count: 4592

Sirius Black Masterlist – Main Masterlist

Sirius fucking Black.

Your neighbour, aka worst enemy, aka the person you despise the most on earth.

He is loud. He is annoyingly pretty. He is getting on your fucking nerves... again!

Of course, it is Friday night, which means that his stupid friends are over for a “boys’ night”. What a scam…

In consequence, you are currently casting sound-proofing spells all over your walls in an attempt to shush their idiotic laughs. And especially Sirius’s; his unmistakable bark-like laughter, loud and boisterous and absolutely prone to draw a grin from your face even if you don’t mean to. By Agrippa’s hat, you will soon either cut his throat or call for an auror. Or maybe you could burst into his apartment and shout into his face just so he can see how bloody annoying that is. Or kissing him to shut him up sounds like a plan, too…

You shake your head, grinning at your own genius idea. Sirius and his friends are being rudely loud again, when you have already told them a thousand times – which is to say every Friday for the last six months, since Sirius moved in the apartment next to yours – that the walls in this old building of Diagon Alley are too thin, that you can hear everything going on in Sirius’s apartment despite sound-proofing spells… and that they need to keep it down past 11pm because you have work the next day. The absolute dread of working in retails does not, by any means, spare the Wizards and Witches of this world…

You look through your apartment for the object that would make the most noise. You give a few items a try, but settle for the good old pan and spoon. Ha, what precious allies these two are, never failing you.

You add a little spell to amplify sounds – just for good measure – find some earplugs, and then proceed to bang the shit out of that pan, right by your common wall with Sirius’s apartment.

It goes on for five full minutes before you manage to catch the quietened sound of something against your door…

And sure enough, when you stop and take your earplugs out, someone is banging at your door.

“Y/N!” a voice that you easily recognize shouts. “STOP THIS FUCKING NOISE!”

You open the door wide, and have to bend to the side to avoid Sirius’s fist as it misses the door.

“Merlin! Sorry! You’re okay? I didn’t touch you, right?” Sirius asks with anger instantly replaced with worry.

“I have amazing reflexes.”

And anger is back into his dark grey eyes again...

“What the fuck are you doing in there?! Are you mental?!”

“I don’t know, Sirius. I didn’t notice anything over the cacophony of your friends shouting into my ears all night!”

His jaw clenches, and you hate yourself for noticing the trembling of the muscle there, and finding it terribly attractive…

“And you had to make all this ruckus instead of simply walking three meters to my door and nicely ask us to shut our mouths because…?”

“Because I’ve asked you dozens of times, this has been going on for fucking months, Sirius!”

He rolls his eyes, and Merlin do you want to punch him straight across the jaw… his very sharp, very pretty jaw…

“We’re just having a nice evening…”

“And I am trying to sleep!”

“It’s barely midnight!”

“I work tomorrow, you asshole!”

“Ermm… guys?”

“WHAT?!” you both exclaim, turning to face a shy-looking Remus.

“Sorry about the noise, Y/N. We’ll be more careful next time. We’ll leave for the evening.”

“You don’t have to leave…” Sirius complains, but James is already walking out, helping a drunk Peter to cross the corridor.

“It’s late, anyway. Lily’s gonna worry, I was supposed to be home twenty minutes ago,” James argues, and Sirius has to yield.

“Alright, see you on Sunday, then!” he shoots his friends a grin, and the group waves at you.

You rudely ignore them, crossing your arms before your chest. And as Sirius turns back to you, his frown is icy and he quickly matches your stance.

“You’re such a pain in my ass, Y/N…”

“And you’re a jerk.”

“Asshole.”

“You’re insufferable, you know that?”

“You’re one to talk!”

“Oh, you talk plenty enough for both of us. And loudly so!”

Before he can reply, you’ve stepped back into your apartment and slammed the door.

You hear him pestering after you for a moment, then nothing, and finally a door slamming.

Well, that went well…

You are in trouble.

Big… huge trouble.

Your ex has just stepped into your shop, and you don’t know how to react.

You didn’t break up in a horrendous way, on the contrary! He wanted the two of you to remain friends, and you simply didn’t, worried that you wouldn’t be able to get over each other if you stayed in touch. And by the look he gave you as he stepped inside your shop ten minutes ago, and the many glances he’s thrown at you since, you’re pretty sure that you were right about this.

It's not like your relationship was terrible, by any means. Josh was nice, reliable, but also… not for you. You didn’t have much in common, at the end of the day, and if his personality and looks were nice, it was hard to build a lasting relationship on… nothing. It was for the best that you called it quits.

And as if your day needed any darkening, Sirius Black chooses this very moment to step into your shop. You don’t wait for him to aim for the counter to take out a large pouch in which you have gathered all the ingredients for his friend’s monthly brew. He smiles at the sight, moves towards you. And you hate yourself for the leap your heart makes as he comes closer.

“Hi, Y/N.”

“Hi.”

It’s the first time you speak to each other since the ‘spoon and pan incident’, and you both hesitate. How are you supposed to act now? Apologise for being petty and kind of a dick? Ask for his apology for being a dick? Act like nothing happened?

“Thanks for Remus’s stuff,” Sirius says, voice quieter than usual, gentle, asking for a truce.

Outside, it’s snowing, winter claiming the streets of London, and there are little snowflakes caught in Sirius’s hair. It looks lovely.

All of a sudden, you’re longing for some eggnog, and some pumpkin pie.

His fingers are cold when they meet yours, tips brushing over your knuckles as he picks up the bag, and you hate your own heart for stammering.

“No problem. You know the drill,” you tentatively smile, while Sirius hands you some silvery Sickles.

“I would also need pearl dust, please. Here’s the amount.”

He hands you a parchment with quantities written on it, four small packages to be prepared separately.

“How many hearts do you intend to break with so many love potions?” you joke, turning around to get to work.

The brass scale is set on a small table, pushed right against the wall, behind the counter. It is an easy task for a professional like you, measuring quickly while Sirius laughs.

“No one, thankfully,” he replied.

“Oh… some Amortentia, perhaps? Trying to figure out who your crush likes?”

“No… nothing like that. It’s the properties for invisibility that I’m looking for.”

“If you plan on breaking into Gringotts, I don’t want to know.”

Again, a loud laugh. And you wish you could hold back your smile, but you can’t, the sound is too infectious for that.

You’ve forgotten that your ex is here, you’re reminded of his presence only when you turn back towards Sirius and he’s standing right behind your tall neighbour, a bag of potion ingredients in his hands.

You avert your eyes, and Sirius frowns at the sight. He glances over his shoulder, spots your ex, but says nothing. You only notice how he tightens his hold on the pouch.

“Pearl dust’s quite expensive,” you tell him, handing him the phials, before announcing the price.

“That’s alright.”

He hands you the galleons, takes the vials, but doesn’t step away just yet.

“You… you’re okay?” he asks, and you’re not sure what to do with his expression. It’s somewhere between annoyance and genuine concern.

“Yeah, sure.”

He nods, like he’s disappointed. He’s not bringing up The Incident, and so you won’t either.

“Right, good day.”

He turns in a hurry, not waiting for your answer, but you notice the way he throws a look back before stepping out into the street, snow falling over his dark coat and dark hair again. You hate how your eyes linger on his frame until he’s out of sight, walking down the busy street, but you can’t help it…

“Hello, Y/N.”

You’re brought back to Earth as your ex speaks, and you turn to him, your smile turning from genuine to polite.

“Hi, Josh.”

“How are you?”

“Good! Do you need anything else?” you ask, pointing at the ingredients he’s put on the counter.

“Huh… no, nothing else.”

“That makes two Galleons, 5 Sickles and 3 Knuts, please.”

He hands you some money, and you hand him his change. You see him hesitating, before diving.

“Look, I… I came here hoping to see you.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, I… I’ve been meaning to tell you. I’ve been thinking a lot lately, about what happened, and… Look, I know I could have done better when it came to us. And I thought… perhaps… if you were willing to give me another chance…”

“Josh…”

“Just… hear me out...”

“No. I’m sorry, but no. We… we were not compatible, that’s all. I like you, you’re nice, but… It won’t work between us.”

Slowly, he nodded, apparently defeated. And when another client cleared their throat behind him, he finally left.

What a mess of a morning…

It is Friday night, and the Marauders are keeping it down. You are surprised by it, but you can only praise these men for being, for once, well-behaved. 11:30, as you slip under the covers, ready for some well-deserved rest before waking up too early to open the shop in the morning. You are ready to fall into Morpheus’s arms and abandon yourself to slumber when someone knocks on your door.

You ignore the sound for a while, but it starts again, and again…

And you thought Sirius was making some efforts. You were ready to commit murder…

You stand up, grab a bathrobe and walk to the door, ready to throw hands with Sirius at this point. Only… only, when you actually open the door, it’s not Sirius who’s facing your wrath.

It’s Josh.

“What… What are you doing here?” you ask, too stunned to think about being polite. “It’s almost midnight.”

But then he looks up at you, and you notice at once that he’s been drinking. His eyes are glimmering, he sways slightly before finding back his balance…

“Josh…”

“Y/N, I… I know that now is not the time, but… please, give me another chance. Please…”

“Josh, we’ve talked about this. Us… it’s over. We’re not getting back together. I’m sorry.”

“But I can try and be better. I’ll be better, let me show you.”

You push him off when he staggers forward, trying to hold you.

“Josh! Stop it!” you raise your voice, trying to get him to let go.

“Please…”

“I said no! Get off!”

He’s finally letting go, but doesn’t take a step back. Instead, he leans against your doorframe, not stepping inside, but making it impossible for you to simply go back in and close the door.

“Josh! Go away! I’m sorry, but this is over between us. You have to leave me alone!”

“But I don’t want to! Y/N!”

“Hey!”

You’re both distracted by the new voice that comes shouting through the corridor. Sirius is standing before his front door, wearing a Queen t-shirt and some dark sweatpants, in what you guess his is nightly outfit. Still, when he comes nearer, hair tied in a bun, glowering, he looks intimidating, tattoos all over his arms on full display, traces of ink peeking above the collar of his t-shirt.

You think for a second that he’s going to make a scene because of how noisy you are right now, not ironic at all given his habits of messing your sleeping schedule, and you’re ready to get angry at him, because this truly is the last thing you need tonight, when…

“You leave her the fuck alone!”

You’re too stunned to react when Sirius comes to stand right by your side.

“She told you to fuck off, so you fuck off!”

“Who the fuck are you?” Josh replied, words a little slurred.

“Her boyfriend,” Sirius lies, but it works wonders, as Josh becomes suddenly very pale. “Now, you fuck off, or I’ll throw you out of the building.”

“You? With him?” Josh asks as he turns to you, and you feel pity for the pain in his eyes, but you don’t regret leaving him.

“Yeah. He’s my boyfriend. Now, please, Josh… leave me alone.”

But he shakes his head.

“I can’t. I can’t. I still love you…”

Sirius looks at you, but you shake your head.

“You have to leave me alone and move on.”

“No… I… I’ll come back later…”

Sirius notices your worry, it almost looks like fear, and he doesn’t hesitate when he grabs Josh by the collar.

“You listen to me now, dickhead,” Sirius growls, it’s almost animalistic, and you’re frozen by this threatening tone of his. “If you set a foot in this building again, if you go see her at her shop, if you so much as breathe in her direction or step in the street she’s in, I will come for you, and I will make sure you can never bother her again. Do you get that?”

“You’re bluffing.”

Sirius grins, something twisted and terribly dark, and even you shiver when he speaks again, voice low and terrible.

“I fought for the Order during the war. I’m a Black. Trust me, you don’t want to fuck with me.”

Slowly, Josh nods, struggling to swallow.

“So… will you leave her alone?”

Again, Josh nods.

“Good boy. Now get the fuck out of here.”

He’s barely released Josh that he’s sprinting down the stairs, stumbling and catching himself against the wall, before disappearing.

But you don’t see that. You’re staring at Sirius, and seem unable to look away.

“You’re alright?”

You’re startled by the softness Sirius’s voice is now wearing, such a stark contrast with the threatening tone he wore a minute ago.

“Y/N? You’re okay? He didn’t hurt you, right?”

“What? No… no, I’m fine! He just… showed up and I couldn’t get rid of him.”

“Yeah, I figured.”

“Thank you,” you whisper as he gets closer.

“You’re sure you’re alright?”

“Yeah, just… a little shaken, I think.”

Slowly, Sirius nods.

“Hey, no need to worry, okay? I’ll keep an eye out tonight. He won’t bother you again. And if he does, in the coming days or weeks, and I’m not around, then you come and tell me. I’ll give him a good fright, and he’ll leave you alone.”

“Thanks but… why would you do that for me? You hate me.”

Sirius chuckles at that, raising an eyebrow.

“I don’t hate you. You’re annoying, but I don’t hate you.”

“Oh…”

His touch is infinitely gentle when he rests his hand on your arm.

“You can go back to sleep. Don’t worry, he won’t bother you again tonight. I promise.”

Slowly, you nod, a little too stunned to complain or argue or discuss what has just happened. Instead, you walk back to your apartment, lock the door, and go back to bed, thinking about the way Sirius’s hands looked gentle without his rings…

You’re in a hurry this morning. Your brain has not finished to process everything that has happened last night, but this will have to wait. You must rush to the shop, and you can’t find your bloody wand…

Ha! There! What is it doing under the couch? Never mind, you need to hurry, and you need to hurry now!

Only, when you open the front door, you almost trip onto a large black door sleeping on your threshold. A huge black dog, as a matter of fact.

“What in Merlin’s beard…?!”

His ears perk up at the sound of your voice, and he looks up at you with dark grey eyes that remind you of someone…

But it’s impossible, of course. That must be his dog, though. Since when does Sirius has a dog though?!

The animal slowly stands, a real giant, all dark fur and intimidating growls, until he’s shaken some sleep off its frame, and then he looks up at you, as if expecting a command.

“Hi,” you say, feeling foolish, but finding nothing better to say.

The dog merely comes closer, slowly, ears down in submission, as if he’s worried to scare you away. You hold out your hand, and he hurries to rub his snout into it, licking your fingers.

You giggle at the sensation.

“You look intimidating, but you’re a good boy, aren’t you?”

He barks in agreement, and you give him scratches as a reward.

“Who do you belong to, huh? Are you Sirius’s dog?”

The dog merely licks your fingers again.

“You look the part, at least. You fit the motorcycle-and-leather-jackets aesthetic.”

A few scratches more, and you finally remember that you are running late…

“Shoot!”

You lock the door, hurry towards the stairs. But you stop the dog when he tries to follow.

“No, no, no! I’m going to work, you stay here. I’m sure Sirius will be back soon. You stay here.”

The dog blinks, but sits anyway, letting you go.

For the whole trip to the store, you wonder who this dog belongs to, and who would let him sleep outside like this. If he really did belong to Sirius, he would hear about this…

Your day is a weird one.

After arriving almost late, but not quite, you spend your morning being busy and running around the store looking for the right ingredients for various potions and clients. And yet, several times during your shift, you feel someone looking at you.

The first time, it’s Sirius, who’s squinting on the other side of the glass door. He looks away the second your eyes land on him, and you’re almost certain that he blushes, although you didn’t think it to be possible to make Sirius Black blush.

The second time, it’s the black dog again, who remains sitting by the door under the falling snow for about ten minutes before leaving.

The third time, it’s the dog again, you see him being petted by a customer as she walks out of the shop.

But if the dog belongs to Sirius, then you guess that he’s been around several times throughout the day, which seems odd. Also, you want to chastise him for leaving the animal alone in the cold for extended periods of time throughout the day. Is he heartless?!

So, as you go home that night, you leave your coat in your apartment before heading to Sirius’s.

He answers on the second knock.

“Oh! Hi, Y/N!” he grins a welcome at you. “Need anything?”

“Yeah… I wanted to talk to you, if you have a minute.”

He merely nods, moving to let you inside.

You’ve been here a couple of times before, but you still appreciate the warm atmosphere of the large space that forms his living room. A huge Gryffindor flag is hung across the wall on the right, while windows let you see falling snow over the roofs of Diagon Alley on the opposite side of the room. A large chimney surrounded by comfortable armchairs and sofas, along with a soft red carpet seem to call for you.

“So? What can I do for you, Y/N?”

You turn to him again while he points at the sofa, silently inviting you to sit, but you remain standing. You cross your arms, and he frowns at the sight.

“Where’s your dog?”

Your tone is sharper now, and his frown only deepens, brows knitted together.

“My what?”

“Your dog. Huge. Black. Looks like he could bite my throat off.”

“I don’t have a dog.”

“Really? He’s been following me around all day. He was on my threshold this morning…”

“…Y/N…” he tries to interrupt you, but you don’t let him.

“No! Listen… Thank you for what you did last night. I was really… Thank you. Josh wouldn’t leave and you were most definitely helpful. But let’s be clear, I’m a big girl, and I can take care of myself! I don’t need your protection or anything, got it?”

You wonder why he’s smiling now, but he is all the same.

“Got it. Was just trying to be helpful.”

“You were.”

“Good.”

“Good. But your good action doesn’t mean that I’m going to accept any harm coming to this cute dog of yours!”

“I thought he wanted to bite your throat off.”

“He looked like he could. He was pretty sweet, though.”

“Hmmm…”

“Anyway… what’s wrong with you!? Leaving him outside all night and then in the street while it was snowing!?”

“Y/N, relax. I don’t have a dog, let me explain.”

“Then whose dog is it? Cause we have to find his owner, I’m going to throw hands!”

Sirius laughs, his usual, bark-like laugh, and your puzzled by the sound. It resembles a bark even more than usual.

Sirius heaves a sigh, shakes his head, apparently hesitating, but eventually, he takes a step closer.

“You have to promise me that you won’t tell anyone about this.”

“Why?”

“Because if you do, I might be arrested.”

Your eyes grow round.

Oh dear… the…

“…Potion. The potion! You’ve done something illegal with it!”

Sirius laughs again.

“The pearl dust you mean? It’s just a trick for my godson, for Christmas. How do you think the presents get under the tree without anyone carrying them in? The fellow is a rascal, standing watch all night to catch Santa red-handed. We need to get more and more creative each year. No, don’t worry, it’s nothing like that.”

“Oh… but then… what are you talking about?”

“Do you promise that you won’t tell?”

“Have you killed someone?”

“Of course not!”

“I don’t know, you were pretty… scary last night.”

“Did I scare you?”

“No… but Josh was ready to faint.”

He laughs again at that.

“I haven’t harmed anyone.”

“Okay… then, I promise.”

Sirius hesitates some more, before warning you not to freak out. You don’t have time to question him though, he’s already transforming into…

“… the black dog!”

You gasp at the sight, but you don’t back away when Sirius approaches under his animagus form. Instead, you reach out for him, giving him a few scratches between his ears, making him wiggle his tail happily.

“Oh wow… you’re an animagus! This is beautiful…”

He laughs as he changes back into human, the sound still somewhere close to a growl.

“Am I a good boy, then?” he teases, making you laugh. “No need to call for the animal welfare…”

“But… what were you doing around the shop today? And last night? Did you sleep on the porch?”

Sirius averts his eyes, and you have to double-check, but you’re certain that he is blushing right now.

“Ha, that… I didn’t mean to look like a creep or anything. But I… I was worried your ex would come back. Just wanted to check on you, ‘s all. I didn’t follow you around or anything! I just… went to check that you were alright at the shop a few times.”

“Why?”

He looks up at you with a slight frown, as if it is obvious, as if you’re stupid for not guessing.

“Because… I was worried about you.”

“About me?”

“Is it so surprising?”

“You hate me.”

“Again, I don’t hate you. You’re simply annoying the shit out of me. I like it, actually.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh.”

You blink, trying to make sense of all this, and Sirius looks at you with amusement.

“Is that why you were quiet last night? To not bother me?”

“Oh, the boys weren’t here. Busy week. We’ll be back at being insufferable next Friday.”

You roll your eyes at that, but Sirius laughs.

“I’m joking! I understand, okay? We’re too loud. We’ll keep it down from now on.”

“Right, okay…”

He bit his lip, ran a hand through his hair, in what you guess is shyness. God, you would have never thought to use this adjective to describe him. His rings catch the warm light of the fire burning in the hearth as he moves his fingers through his hair.

“Look, I… I’m sorry for the other night. Actually… for all the other nights. We’ll be more careful next time,” he says, and you raise an eyebrow in surprise.

You never thought you would hear an apology from him, even less so an earnest one, and yet…

“Thank you, Sirius. I’m sorry, too. It was petty and uncalled for.”

“No, you… you were right.”

He heaves a frustrated sigh, runs a hand through his long dark curls again, rebel strands falling before his eyes. You hold tightly onto the sleeve of your hoodie, refraining the sudden urge to push the curls away from his face, brush them behind his ear…

“Look, I… I don’t want us to be on bad terms,” Sirius goes on. “Could I make up for being a dickhead by buying you some fancy Christmas drink? My treat. As a token of good faith and a sign for peace in our building?”

He offers you his open palm, and you shake hands with a smile adorning both of your faces.

“Deal.”

“Any afternoon free this week?”

“Wednesday?”

“Then, I’ll buy you the fanciest cocoa I can find. And even some pumpkin pie, if you’re nice.”

“Sounds good.”

You’re reluctant to pull away but have to let go of his hand.

“Actually… scratch that,” Sirius shakes his head. “Would you go on a date with me?”

Your eyes grow round.

“A date? With you?”

“Yeah. On Wednesday?”

“But… with you?”

“Don’t act so surprised. You really think I play bodyguard for just anybody?”

You laugh at that, you can’t help it, even if you’re still quite stunned by the whole situation.

You weight your options, but then you look at him again, and the answer you want to give is obvious, even if he gets on your nerves all the bloody time…

“Okay. A date. On Wednesday.”

He grins, bright and infectious.

“Great! Awesome!”

“Great.”

“Great.”

You remain staring at each other for a moment, both of you trying to hide your excitement, until you finally clear your throat.

“I should…” you begin, pointing at the door.

“Sure… busy day?”

“You can’t imagine.”

“Hmm…”

You hurry towards the door, feeling overwhelmed by his nearness.

“See you on Wednesday then!” he calls after you as you reach for your own door.

“Sure! But it better be the best hot chocolate I’ve drunk, or I’ll ask for a refund!”

He laughs, and when you turn one last time towards him, Sirius is leaning against his doorframe, staring at you with a grin on his lips and mischief painted all over his features. He winks, and your heart skips several beats.

“Oh, don’t worry. You won’t regret this.”

*********************************

Taglist :

@reg-arcturus-black @hells-escapees @omgrachwrites

@wolfmoonmusic

[rxsilabeth--er]

But being a criminal and getting trans!reg pregnant....like it's all planned.

Reader being obsessed with reg from the beginning from when he was just a trainee and committing crimes just so he could visit the scenes and watch reg. Killing people till he's darling boy is head of this case and being the one to bring him in. When he is, he chats up reg at a bar or sth, and poor reg is so clueless. Doesn't the guy he's riding and losing his mind over is the same person who is killing all those young victims he's investigating. By the time he figures it out, everything has gone to hell. And little reg is pregnant with the child of a serial killer. The worst part is that he knows. He can't tell anyone cause if his team finds out he got knocked by the psycho they're trying to catch, he'll lose the respect of the entire bureau. And Reg doesn't want to abort cause he's too stupidly in love with the man that gave him the child. However, he's shocked when he finds out the man made a small mistake in the last crime scene, but his team doesn't know it's killer and reg is a hundred percent sure the clue wasn't a mistake and was all planned out. And know he's interviewing his baby daddy in a small metal room who is highly aware of the tiny life growing inside of him and is too smug about it. With his new role as a potential witness to the case, he decides to offer his help with catching the murder and reg's boss agrees and is grateful to have the help of a local. Soo he grows to be liked by the whole group, and it's torture for reg. He keeps pulling reg into closets and bending him over the desk, promising to give him the little family he's always talked about on their dates, teasing him about how he has always been an over achiever and Regulus knows he could easily let himself hate him had their were not moments where the man was too domestic. Him walking into the office, wrapping his arms around his waist, rubbing his stomach. Talking about how their swert child will come out a genius. How he'll marry reg, whenever his ready. Always carrying with him water so reg is hydrated, doughnuts for the craving. Home-cooked meals, that reg can't help but mouth over. When reg is working too hard he'll walk into the office rub his back and little bump, telling him he shouldn't work too hard, it's bad for the baby, whispering little clues about the case In his ears. He'll buy him presents and make little baby jokes in front of everyone, making everyone confused. They'll ask if he's got a special someone at home and he's like yeah, we're expecting. He'll look reg right in the eye and go "smartest and prettiest little mama I've ever seen" and when it gets too hard for reg to cover the bump, he promises he'll quit but only if reg agrees to live with him.

Sorry, I may have gotten too obsessed 😅 I got this idea at what? 3:50 a.m and now it's 4:22. Had to get it all down immediately 😭

I'm drooling over this, it's such a piece of diamond!!! I NEED IT!! Oh my god, it's so cute yet so sexy!! Here take preggo! Reggie smut in exchange for the amazing gold's price!!| Warnings: dub-con? Slight manhandling, gun on head (reg's fine, dw), reader is kinda unhinged and insane, chocking, reg's pregnant, I have no idea, what came over me to write this...

Thank god, everyone in the office was actually gone out to eat, Regulus said he wasn't feeling and you brightly volunteered to stay behind to care of the Head Detective and the others agree, because you're a local who became VERY close with the group.

And Regulus knew why...Regulus's head felt like it was burning, crying on his knees, spewing insults, yelling, screaming and what not simply to argue with you over the fact that you're always at his office now and he doesn't like it...

You simply grinned down at him, you liked when he cried, it was cute, you know you should be angry at him, but maybe it was the fact that he was pregnant that suddenly made him so cute and made you want to make him cry more and mewl on your cock like that other night in the forest where you pounded in him on the forest floor beside his friend, Barty's house.

Softly you walked close to the kneeling boy, lifting his face softly and grabbing his face tightly, "You cry so damn much, it's fucking annoying how pretty you look." you softly hummed as Regulus's soft whimpering as you grab his arm and lift him up, pulling him up as you sat on his chair, the Head detective's chair.

You let him stand as he continued to scream at you for the next few minutes, maybe it was the pregnancy moodswings but after a few minutes of screaming, he stood there sobbing, pregnancy emotions always got out of hand, you guessed.

Softly he walked closer to you, sitting in your lap, crying in your neck as your hands stroked his thigh and sides, one hand travelling up to the top of his jacket, you softly pulled it off as he continued to cry, whine and sob on your lap, as one hand unbuttoned the buttons of his shirt softly, the other rubbing his thigh, the shirt still tucked in enough to hide his body well.

You snaked your hands inside his shirt, rubbing his stomach where you felt the smallest amount of movement, was it from Reg's breathing or the baby's notice of his father being around, you didn't know, you preferred the latter, knowing the man in your lap could never help his greediness he had over you, his obsession over you which he tried SO HARD to deny always made you grin and made you think how cute he'd like crying on your cock.

The other hand softly unbutton his trousers, your hands slipped inside his pants on his hips, holding his hips softly as you pet his hips a bit for him to lift his hips for you remove his trousers. Throwing them haphazardly, your fingers softly grazed his clothed cunt, already starting to wet and leak even through his panties, "Oh? Already wet...expected this from you honestly." you hummed softly, taking his hand on yours and guiding it to your trousers.

As he unbuttoned your pants, you simply pushed his panties aside and stroked his cunt and clit, but not touching him where he wants. Panting and whining, he simply pulled out your cock, whining as you simply sighed. "Pitiful.." you stared at him, but he's pregnant, might as well be sweet right?

So that's how he ended up riding you, wailing and moaning like it's nobody's business as his fingers were plunged in your mouth, plugging your mouth as you sucked and slobbered over his fingers like he did on your cock with a smirk seeing him go crazy and whiny simply from bouncing over you, one of your hands rubbing and squeezing his clit and the other rubbing his tummy which was seemingly growing to show your kid inside him...

Thrusting up into his cunt, the hand which was on his stomach moved up to softly pinch his nipples just as the ringtone of your phone rang through the office, as Regulus's cries resonated within the walls, just before you pulled his panties you tore off of him and shoved it in his mouth, taking the call, putting it on speaker and placing it on the table, while one of your hands held his wrists tightly, while the other moved to hold his throat.

Noticing his movements stopped, you leaned close to his tear-stricken face and asked, "What? Did I ask you to stop? Continue fucking riding." you said softly, you were sure if not for the panties stuck in his mouth and your hand on his throat he would whine loudly to show everyone what was happening.

"Hello?" Barty's voice came from the call, "Yeah? Hello Barty!!" You asked brightly, in contrary to how you were fucking Regulus on your dick. As Regulus continued to bounce on top you, "Yeah, uh, we're reaching the station back in like two to three minutes." Barty said as all blood ran from Regulus's face while you only smirked,

"Oh? Oh, please, do come early...I miss you all and if not me, then Reggie sure does, don't you?" you said smirking as Barty laughed over the phone, "I bet, aight, I'll tell Evan to drive faster, can't leave our besties alone, can we? See you!" he said before hanging up as you pulled Regulus's panties out his mouth, making him whine as you pressed down on his throat and rubbed his clit a bit harshly,

"Why-...Why would you..you-fuck! Why would you do that?!" he asked, trying to be angry, but his exterior flattered the moment you thrust inside of him, hearing him wail.

"Come on, hurry up, don't you want to cum? If not now, then you'll have to wait up until, I don't know....a few hours?" you said as he suddenly began speeding his movements up, as you relaxed in the chair, groaning as you kissed his chest and left hickeys, biting him as he simply whined and tried his best to ride you. Your hands no longer working on his body neither did you put in any effort, if he wanted it, he can have it all by himself especially after screaming at you,

"i'm still upset at you yelling at me, so I will relax, you use me and get yourself off." you said simply, hands simply on his stomach, stroking his swelling belly, letting him use you.

Regulus tried his best to replicate the feelings of you, pinching his nipples, squeezing his clit, plunging your fingers in his hole besides your cock if you felt more mean, or the way your cock touched parts of his body his long fingers couldn't even reach...

His wet finger rubbing his own clit, as he ride to bounce himself on top of you like you always force him to, the other hand on top of yours on his stomach, feeling your cock bulging in his stomach, it was hurting, but he simply couldn't reach his good points!

What the hell, you're supposed to care for him, your baby's momma, your pretty little baby and your gorgeous princess (as you called him in a degrading way).

It wasn't helping that you were pinching his nipples seemingly out of nowhere and reminding him, "Come on, don't want the whole sector to know you're a whore right? They're gonna be here any minute now." he said. His pleasure was teetering between too much and too little and it was driving him wild,

"Ah-fuck!...please! I-I'm..fuck..I'm sorry, it's not working!!" he whined, his tears dripped down his cheeks with drool also falling down his cheeks making you shake your head, "I'm sorry, baby. You're on your own." you said simply, groaning as he clamped down on your, throwing your head back, sadism making you feel happy and a smirk on your lips as he again began to move up and down, his thighs burning just as the sounds of other's car's parking was heard.

"Oh, looks like they're here, awwhhh, baby, hurry up, come on, cum." you said with fake pity as Regulus let out a loud whine, near scream,

"PLEASE! I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry...Please..it hurts and I-fuck! Can't do it, I need you, I need you!....in here..Please daddy? Don't wanna pleasure your little cumslut...am I not carrying your baby?" he softly, whined taking your hand and placing it on his dripping cunt softly throwing his head back, you groaned and rolled your eyes as you held his hips, the fucking cumslut was smart and fucking cute,

"Awhh, fine. But hear me slut, you're not cumming the whole night after this." he said as he nodded desperately, "Fine, yes, yes!!" he nodded as you looked over to see Barty, Evan, Pandora, James, Sirius, Remus, Lily and literally everyone in the group was entering the building.

You quickly pulled out and flipped him over, slamming back inside as you pounded him on the table, as you looked over the desk to see your gun that confiscated in a opened drawer, pulling it you softly placed it on his head, making Regulus tense up, as you continued to pound inside him, spanking his ass red and rubbing it softly between your warmed up palm of the other hand before it moved to bundle up in his hair to pull up his falling and lolling head as his whined,

"Awhh, what? Scared, baby? You should be. Fucking brat, you should be fucking grateful I don't pull the trigger for almost revealing my identity...But fuck, baby, I love you." you hummed moving fast, moving the fun down to nudge his clit with the cold metal as you pounded in him, pulling his hair, and biting his shoulders, you were dressed up but he wasn't except his opened shirt hanging from his shoulders.

Regulus's whines began to be more high-pitched and faster, "Uh..No, wait..it feels weird, sir! PLEASE! It-fuck, feels like I'm gonna pee...Please, no i'm-ngh!...I'm gonna cum." he whined, thrashing softly as you placed the gun back on the table and shoved fingers in his mouth, gagging him on them, as the other pinched and rubbed his clit roughly, you could hear the other's footsteps outside on the corridors...

"Fucking cum, I better not get caught. They're just outside the door, sweetheart." you hissed as Regulus whined and let out a soundless cream as he squirted over you dripping down as he clamped down on your cock, his head dizzy as he whined softly.

That pushed you over the edge as you quickly came inside him and pulled out, staring at his dripped ass as Regulus scrambled to get his articles of clothing, including the ripped up panties and ran to the bathroom, banging the door closed just as the door opened to them, "Hey!! We got food for you as well!!" Pandora said brightly holding up a bag as they all stare at you fixing your unbutton shirts with a sweet smile, back on your lips,

"Hi, welcome back!! Where were you all gone for?" you asked, fixing your pants behind the desk hiding you as you smiled brightly. "Oh, nowhere really." Mary said sighing as she pulled up a chair beside you as you sat on the Head Detective's desk, "Where is Regulus?" Dorcas asked, as you slightly panicked, "Oh, uh, he's in the bathroom." you said smiling nodding towards the bathroom in the office.

Everyone nodded as Pandora handed you the food bag, "Oh yeah, speaking of. Reminds me, you look unsuually happy, are you expecting someone at home?" James asked smiling, as you nodded with a boyish grin,

"Yep, i'm expecting a baby!" You said just as Regulus walked out wiping his face with a napkin, his clothes back on, " the prettiest and gorgeous mama I've ever seen.." you said softly smiling at Regulus who blushed and walked closer, shooing you to get your own chair...

You pulled one beside him, as everyone began leaving to go back to different things they had to work on, as you ate your food in silence with Regulus, pulling him back to sit in your lap on the Head Detective's chair, a hand on his tummy.

You didn't really notice it, but after the few months, he was honestly starting to show, if not for the fact that he wore a brown blazer over it that hid his stomach, but if he wasn't wearing it, it was blatantly obvious as you stared at his stomach.

Regulus noticing your gaze no tummy, he hid it under his arms, his insecurity skyrocketed since becoming pregnant, but despite being insane it would be wrong to lie since he was looking gorgeous than anything,

"Quit this job, I'll take care of you." you blurted out suddenly making Regulus glare at you, "You have a lot of fucking audacity." he said pulling you close by your collar, "I'm serious...I don't want you to be held responsible if I got caught being a killer, I want you and the baby to be safe, quit this. I have money, I'll take care of you." you said softly, rubbing his stomach with one of the rare, genuine smile you held making Regulus a bit surprised but sigh,

"I'll see...", "Thank sweet mama.. :)"

[dreamwritesimagines]

A younger reader and pre-x men Logan would be such a sexy, angsty disaster.

She knows exactly what kind of life she wants, Logan barely knows who he is; she would ramble at him as a way of flirting and he would try to be mean to her to get her to stay away only to immediately apologize and fall in love with her in 3 seconds flat.

(The fact that Logan is a softy gets buried under all the bad boy Logan fic writers and i can't stand it- HE'S AN OLD MAN, HE'S BEEN SAD AND LONELY FOR THE PAST TWO CENTURIES. NEARLY HIS WHOLE ARC IS ABOUT HIM FINDING PEOPLE HE WANTS TO TAKE CARE OF. HE WANTS TO BELONG SOMEWHERE, WAKE UP PEOPLE)

And who needs someone more than Sunshine? Who would be more willing to provide everything for her but Logan? The frat boys never stood a chance.

The sex would be amazing, the chemistry off the charts- the angst and miscommunication would leave you sobbing.

She has interests, hobbies and dreams- Logan just has her.

They could never be healthy at that stage, Jamie is right to be concerned and call them co dependent but omfg i would read a whole series on this au

I AM STARING AT THE SCREEN, YOU ARE A GENIUS OMG-

Honeeeey!? 😍

I totally agree, like, Logan would come off as mean first because he'd know just how different they are and how he's "not good for her" so he'd be trying to keep his distance but would end up falling for her❤️

He wants to beloooong❤️

She has interests, hobbies and dreams- Logan just has her. EXCUSE ME WHILE I CRY-

Oh yeah, I don't think their relationship would be healthy at that stage either 😱 All the alarms would be ringing in Jamie's head and he'd try to talk some sense into Sunshine but it would do nothing at all😱

I absolutely love thiiiis, thank you so much love! ❤️ And I'm so inspired about this au so let's have a HC! ❤️

I totally agree with you, it would be such a sexy angsty disaster😏

He had a truck camper thing pre X Men, didn't he? He was basically living there, not caring or planning about having a home while Sunshine was definitely the opposite of that, she had all her future planned, even her future home❤️

I feel like she tried to be at the bar for his every fight, and after one of them he'd go to her and be like,

"Hi sweetheart."

"Hi! Are you okay?"

"Mm hm."

"That guy punched you really hard."

"Nah it wasn't that hard. What are you doing here?"

"What do you mean?"

"You have a final tomorrow."

"Aw Logan, you remembered!"

"Of course I did, so what are you doing here?"

"I'm here for moral support!"

"When was the last time you slept?"

"That's irrelevant information to our conversation right now- look what I got you."

"...A candle?"

"Yeah! I figured you could put it in your trailer, it'd look nice there!"

[cringefailvox]

while we’re talking about featherstone (when am i never not talking about featherstone?), @nyxistyxi just compared Fran Fine from The Nanny to Val in terms of both fashion and personality. after yelling at me for being unfamilar, they described her as “the biggest, sassiest, loudest, sluttiest sugar baby to ever sugar baby but she had standards. She set her sights on her CEO Daddy and fucking seduced him. She was the star of a show called the nanny where she just tormented this poor man strutting around his mansion in these outfits.”

and so now i have to ask. Val babysitter AU? My Deer Nanny but make it even cuntier, if that’s at all possible

genius. omg. i'm also not familiar with fran fine but that description is amazing and i'm utterly sold. vox hires val to watch the kids he neglects & never wanted and val inadvertently turns him into an active father by being too sexy to resist. suddenly vox wants to go to soccer games and parent-teacher conferences and shit just because val is there, even though he hired val to better enable his neglect in the first place

[those70scomics]

Fictober Day 31: "it's always been you"

That '70s Show Fanfiction

Hyde and Jackie stood in the Formans' backyard, wearing coats over their Halloween costumes. Like the other Halloween party guests, they were willing to bear the cold of evening. Mrs. Forman had ushered them all outside for the last and best of the party's surprises.

Hyde pointed to the skeleton he and Red had constructed from car parts. It was lashed to a tree, and Red was about to introduce guests to it. Hyde and Jackie weren't far away, and he whispered to her, "Watch and listen."

Red brought the Wilsons to the skeleton first. "Would you look at that beauty," Joe Wilson said. "How did you -- "

"Hey, there. Hi, there. Ho, there!" Bob's voice greeted from inside the metal ribs.

Red jumped backward, startling the Wilsons. "What the hell?"

"I love salty ... and I love sweet," the skeleton said with Bob's voice. "Some of you smell delicious."

"Steven!" Red shouted, but Hyde led Jackie to the other side of the backyard, to an area crowded with guests. He laughed the whole time.

Jackie giggled and patted Hyde's arm. "That was amazing! You tricked Mr. Forman at his own party, and he didn't suspect it the whole month. ... Your genius is so sexy."

It wasn't genius. It was deviousness, but he didn't deny her evaluation out loud.

"Let's skip out on the cake and make love in your old room," she said.

"There's a different kind of skeleton in there," he said.

"Your past is the past -- "

He slid his arm around her back to draw them closer to each other. "An actual skeleton, for Halloween," he whispered. "And we'd miss out on Forman and Donna's announcement."

"I don't care. We know the news already. ... Okay, we guessed it. Whatever."

"Don't you want to congratulate 'em?"

She tugged on his coat sleeve. "Are you avoiding having hot Halloween sex with me?"

"I'm using every freakin' ounce of willpower not to give in." They needed to be here for their best friends and the Formans. They wouldn't be here, together, if not for their friends and family.

"Fine," she said. "As the best friend, Donna will be happiest at hearing my reaction. But afterward, we're doing it in your old room."

He held her hand. It was warmer than his, and he said, "Yes, dear."

***

Fez presented his and Miss Kitty's cake in the backyard to cheers. He and Rhonda had carried the beautiful monstrosity to the outdoor table. The cake resembled an evil jack-o'-lantern, and Rhonda set off the pyrotechnics.

Sparks flew out the top of the cake, from the hollow eyes and menacing mouth. The crowd cheered louder and applauded while Fez, Miss Kitty, and Rhonda exchanged satisfied looks.

"I was worried about losing a finger, despite the expert's lesson," he said.

Rhonda indicated herself. "That's why I set off the cake fireworks."

Warmth spread through his chilled body. He looked up at her face and said, "You'd risk your finger for me. That is the height of love."

"I'd risk everything for you. When I went back to Mississippi, I tried dating other guys and falling in love again, but it's always been you."

She actually did risk everything by giving him another chance. The realization overwhelmed him with emotion, and he blurted, "Do you want a baby?"

"Now? No way. I've still got ten years before my eggs go bad. We can wait."

Her words sobered Fez's mind. "I don't want a baby yet either."

She grasped the sides of his face and kissed him. He kissed her back, and the white noise of party guests faded as he and Rhonda made out.

***

Kitty sliced pieces of the sheet cakes for guests without the help she'd expected. Fez and Rhonda were busy being a groping, sloppy mess in a corner of the backyard. She would've broken up their display, but the line of guests wasn't getting any shorter or more patient.

"Could you use a hand or maybe two?"

Donna was standing beside her. Kitty hadn't spotted her approach and said, "You're an absolute angel!"

Guests got their slices of cake efficiently now, and the grumbles stopped. Donna's cheeks were red from cold or maybe joy. Kitty hoped it was the latter.

"When do you and Eric want to make the announcement?"

"Really soon," Donna said and passed two guests slices of cake. "Are you still okay with us ... you know?"

"I'm more than okay. I'm happy." Kitty wiped orange-colored frosting off her fingers with a napkin. "I'm excited you two will finally share your happiness with everyone."

Donna put down the cake knife and wrapped Kitty in a hug. "Thank you. I love you."

Kitty teared up. That was the first time Donna had said those three words to her, and Kitty said, "I love you, too ... and I'll be right back to announce that you and Eric have an announcement."

The cake line had become manageable by one person. Otherwise Kitty wouldn't have dashed off to her next party checkpoint.

***

Kelso was setting rocket fireworks for the party's finale. The sidewalk behind the Formans' backyard was the perfect spot. The backyard lights let him see what he was doing, but two shadows fell over him.

The Formans were here, and he yelped. He looked around for a blanket or tarp -- anything -- to hide the fireworks. He started to pull off his jacket, but Red said, "It's okay, Kelso. We already know about your fireworks show. Your wife told us."

"But I swore Brooke to secrecy! She promised."

"Did she promise or plomise?" Mrs. Forman said.

Kelso thought back to his and Brooke's conversation. "Damn! She did plomise."

Red raised his gaze to the night sky, but Mrs. Forman's attention remained on Kelso. "Eric and Donna are about to make an announcement." She tapped the walkie-talkie sticking out from her coat pocket. "I'll signal Red, and he'll help you set off the fireworks.

"Announcement? About what?"

"You won't have long to wait." She smiled at him mischievously and returned to the backyard.

Red, meanwhile, had begun to inspect Kelso's fireworks placement.

"You don't gotta stay," Kelso said. "I had a professional teach me fireworks safety."

"That's all well and good." Red stood at his full height, which was shorter than Kelso's by an inch, but he seemed a foot taller. He always had. "But I have experience with pyrotechnics. And since this is my house, I'll be supervising."

"You shot off fireworks during the wars you fought in?"

"No, I shot -- never mind. My experience was after the Korean war."

Both relief and disappointment spread through Kelso's chest. "Man, I wanted to prove to Brooke -- " and himself -- "that I could be responsible with explosive objects."

"I'm just here as backup. You're doing the work."

"Oh. Okay." Kelso grinned and continued arranging the rocket fireworks on the sidewalk.

***

Donna and Eric stood by the table where the remnants of the cake were. Kitty had returned and shouted through a bullhorn for everyone in the backyard to listen.

"My son and daughter-in-law have something important to share with all of you." She passed the bullhorn to Donna.

Donna's heart pounded, and the beats pulsed through her fingers, but she was ready. "Hi, everyone!" she said into the bullhorn. "Thank you for coming to this amazing party. And thank you to all the friends and family who made it happen!"

The guests cheered and whistled.

"Eric and I have very happy news: I'm pregnant!"

The cheers grew even louder, and Donna leaned into Eric at the response. But from somewhere inside the crowd of guests, a lone voice shouted, "Is the baby Eric's?"

"Mitch," Eric muttered and took the bullhorn from Donna. "Of course it's mine! Anyway, we're overjoyed we can finally tell you about Baby Forman. It's a lot like when Luke fires two torpedoes into the Death Star during -- "

Donna nudged him and whispered, "We said no Star Wars analogies, remember?"

Eric whispered back, "I already agreed to not naming our kid after a Star Wars character. Are you trying to erase Star Wars from my life completely?"

Her eyes widened, and more adrenaline spilled into her body, giving her the shivers. Her pregnancy hormones had affected her ability to edit herself. "I'm sorry. I'm being extra controlling lately, but I don't mean to be."

"Our child will be watching Star Wars with me," he whispered. "I won't budge on this."

"I don't expect you to. Just let them discover the truth about Luke and Leia's relationship on their own."

"I thought we wanted to spare our children unnecessary pain -- "

"Hey, Forman," Hyde shouted from nearby, "we can all hear your discussion, man! Bullhorn's still on, and look where you're holding it!"

Eric was holding the bullhorn between his and Donna's faces. "We're having a baby!" he said directly into the mouthpiece.

Seconds later, fireworks burst high above the backyard. The sight wasn't just dazzling; it was a godsend. Donna's "private conversation" with Eric seemed to have been forgotten by the party guests. They were all looking up and reacted vocally to the colors exploding in the sky.

This display had to be the surprise Kitty mentioned. The fireworks reinvigorated Donna excitement. Her family's future would be the present soon, and she kissed Eric. He put the bullhorn on the cake table, held her close, and they watched the colorful sky.

***

Party guests, including family and friends, approached Eric and Donna in congratulations. A few people put their hand on Donna's belly without asking. Mitch was about to do the same, and Donna said, "My belly is officially off-limits! No touching!"

Eric worried she'd grab the cake knife if Mitch refused to listen, but Mitch redirected his attention to Eric. "Well, Forman, you bested me. I'm man enough to admit it."

"Thanks. Thank you, Mitch."

"Hey, don't gloat too much. You're a big fish in a small pond, and I'm going to be a big fish in a much bigger pond."

Eric had the perfect burn for that comment, but he allowed Mitch this one last dig -- and to walk away without Eric shoving cake in Mitch's smug face. Mainly, though, he didn't want to provoke Mitch into not moving to Milwaukee.

Bob and Joanne congratulated Eric and Donna next with hugs and happy words. Then Bob said, "Since your kid's grandparents live next door to each other, they can spend all their holidays here in Point Place. ... Hey, why don't you just move back here? There's a house across the street that just became available. Old Agnes finally kicked the bucket."

Joanne swatted Bob's chest. "I liked Agnes."

"You hated her."

"I .. okay, I disliked her."

"She used to rifle through our garage and gossip about us to neighbors. You're as glad old-age caught up with her as I am," Bob said, and Joanne turned her face away. She seemed to be laughing.

Bob looked at Eric and Donna with obvious hope. Eric fought not to cringe. He hated to upset Bob, especially because he was a crier, but Donna said, "Dad, we love you, but we're not moving back. Our lives are in Appleton."

"But your family's here," Bob said.

Donna hugged Eric around the waist. "It's also in Appleton ... and Mom's in California."

"All right, pumpkin. It was worth a shot."

He and Joanne left, and Hyde and Jackie took their place.

"Congratulations!" Jackie said and flung her arms around Donna's neck.

Hyde shook Eric's hand then pulled Eric into an embrace. "Congrats ... Dad."

"Did you two already know?" Donna said when she and Eric were no longer tangled in their friends' arms.

"No," Jackie said.

Donna shook her head a little. "Wow. I thought for sure you --"

"We absolutely knew!" Jackie laughed so hard she was cackling. Eric despised that sound. It raised the hairs on the back of his neck.

"Yeah, we did," Hyde said. "A couple of clues gave it away."

Jackie continued to cackle but covered her mouth until she could speak properly. "We're thrilled you're having a baby. And don't worry, with Steven and I as their uncle and aunt, they won't turn out to be a loser."

"Jackie!" Donna shouted.

"I said don't worry." Jackie indicated the guests behind them. "Anyway, we want to let other people congratulate you now. If we don't see you again tonight, that'll be because Steven and I are making love in his old room. Bye!"

Jackie pulled Hyde by the hand to the basement stairs in the backyard.

"Those two ... " Eric was both amused and annoyed. "I hope Hyde gets Jackie pregnant tonight."

Minutes later, Laurie and her husband, Tim, stepped up to him and Donna. They gave their congratulations, and Laurie said, "I want our kids to grow up like siblings."

Eric's breath caught in his throat. Siblings ... the idea was horrifying. He didn't want that at all. Although he and Laurie had a healthy relationship now, he couldn't shake the fear of her stabbing him with the cake knife. "We grew up hating each other."

"I didn't say like us. Tim has an older brother and a younger sister, and they were always close."

Tim scratched his beard. "We had the kind of arguments siblings have, but we made up quickly. Usually."

"Oh." Eric's breath escaped as white smoke into the cold night air. "I'd like that, too."

Kelso, Brooke, and Betsy arrived after friends of Eric and Donna's parents came and went. Warm congratulations were given all around: Kelso, Brooke and Betsy about Eric and Donna's baby, Eric and Donna about Kelso's fireworks show.

"Can I feel your tummy?" Betsy said. Donna allowed it. "I don't feel a baby."

"That's because the fetus hasn't developed enough yet," Brooke said. "It's early."

Betsy nodded in understanding then a grin spread on her face. "Mom and Dad are having a baby, too," she said to Donna. "But it's even earlier because Dad hasn't knocked her up yet."

Brooke's mouth dropped open, but Kelso chuckled nervously. "Ten-year-olds, big imaginations. Am I right?"

"Michael, she obviously knows!" Brooke directed Kelso to look at her. "Don't act like she's a liar. You told her!"

"But I didn't!"

Brooke began to argue, but Betsy jostled her arm. "He didn't, Mom. I heard you and Dad talking about it last week. You're bad at keeping secrets."

"I guess we are." Brooke stroked the back of Betsy's hair and apologized to Kelso. Then she said to Betsy, "How do you feel about having a little sister or brother?"

"It's the best present ever! Can I name it?"

"Sure," Kelso said.

Brooke spoke over him: "We'll talk about it."

She and Kelso congratulated Eric and Donna again before chasing after an exhilarated Betsy through the backyard.

"I can't believe Kelso is finally is okay with having another kid," Donna said to Eric.

He focused on the stairs leading to the basement. "Now I really hope Hyde gets Jackie pregnant. It would be perfect ... almost perfect. Fez has got to knock up Rhonda. Let me try to convince them -- "

Donna held him back and said, "It's really sweet you want to recreate for our baby the childhood we had growing up, full of friends who're like family. But our kid will make friends of their own in Appleton. And they'll have more here and in Milwaukee and Chicago."

Eric rubbed his hands together and blew on them. He should've worn gloves, but they didn't go with his Obi-Wan Kenobi costume. October nights were cold in Wisconsin, but everyone around them warmed him in a significant way.

"You know, we're really lucky," he said. "We grew up with people who are still our friends -- family -- after ten, twenty years. Our parents are still alive and healthy. ... " His sense of security collapsed into fear. "Did I just jinx us?"

"Of course not! I don't know where that superstition came from. Being grateful for what we have and saying it out loud is a good thing."

"Where's some wood? I need to knock on it three times -- "

Donna grasped his shoulders. "Would you knock it off? I know I was superstitious -- scared -- about revealing my pregnancy during the first trimester. But we'll handle whatever happens. We always have. Together."

Together. That was one of Eric's favorite words. He held Donna gently but kissed her like he hadn't seen her in years. She responded, and they sneaked into the house.

***

Eric's childhood bedroom upstairs remained largely as he'd left it, but framed nature paintings adorned the walls, and the bed had a boring navy-blue comforter.

Still, it was a bed, and he pulled aside the sheets.

A witch sprang up from underneath, cackling. He and Donna stepped back while Eric shrieked. That cackling ...

"What the hell?" Donna said.

"Mom said the bedrooms weren't part of the party! ... Wait, there's a note."

He pulled the piece of paper off the witch's broom. The note was written in his dad's handwriting:

"Son, if you and Donna have come up here to do anything but rest, forget it. I've got this thing rigged to alert me it's been triggered. Happy Halloween, dumbass."

Donna hooked her chin over Eric's shoulder: "Just imagine: someday you'll get to do this to our child."

He reached behind himself and mussed the back of her hair. "We're living the dream," he said with a sigh, but everything would be all right. Not only did this trick count as a the jinx he'd worried about, it also reminded him that he and Donna weren't alone. This party, this whole month, proved it. He and Donna truly were lucky.

And their child would be, too.

[piercethefic]

S 1 - Spencer reid smut!! ⚠️

Warnings - Sub Spence - dom fem reader - p in v - virginity loss - bj - corruption of innocence

Background info - Spence is a virgin. He just got a job at the bau, and you think he's adorable. You want to help him out.

Spencer has just scored a job at the bau. He can't wait to start Monday , but he's nervous because he's antisocial and worried about how people will like him or if they'll discredit him for being young and inexperienced. He was wrong. Everyone loves him , including you. From the very first time you met the sexy genius, you found him adorable and wanted to do nasty things with him. He's so innocent and sweet. You wanted to show him how to be dirty like you. He felt the same , you knew the way he'd blush and whine quietly when you touch his shoulder or hug him. You hoped he'd be at the bau forever with you - or maybe in your bed. One day, you decided to invite him over. He obviously complied with this idea , given that he thought nothing of it and thought you were beautiful. When he got there, you teased him. You wore your short black dress and your pretty black boots/heels. You knew it'd get his attention , and it did. He sat down at your table after standing awkwardly to hide his visible erection. You said, "Boy.. you look sexy in those tight pants, " He got flustered and looked down at the floor trying to avoid eye contact. You felt bold and decided to stand up and kiss him. He kissed you back hesitantly but then realized he was safe and kissed you passionately. He hadn't even had his first kiss, so making out with his coworker was beyond his comfort zone. He didn't care. He needed you. He needed you to dominate him. "Pleaaase... please touch me, " He says. You agree , pull him up , and lead him to your bedroom. You lay him down on your bed and get on top of him . You grind on his bulge until you feel like you've had enough teasing. You rip your dress off , and he looks overwhelmed by how beautiful your naked body is. You were naughty and wore no panties that night, just in case. He says, "I - I'm a virgin...I've never d- done this," you say, "I know, baby," and take his pants off. He gives you a nod of approval and you take his huge cock in your mouth (he may be nerdy but he's hung) he whines cutely. You know he's ganna cum If you don't stop so you ask for approval then sit on his cock quickly and bounce fast. "I'm not gonna last long m- mommy I'm gonna cum" you keep going and he screams then cums in you , you cum soon after, creaming his cock. "That's was an amazing first time." You're such a good boy." "Wanna stay here tonight? "Yes, please, "

Want a post - prison reid chapter? Comment 💜

Request open for any fic ♡

[seniaasaysstuff]

𝐖𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐀𝐒𝐓 || 𝒋𝒋𝒌 𝒙 𝒂𝒐𝒕

This is just a snippet from my fic I’m thinking of posting on wattpad lol. Would you like to read it? Let me know.

Where itadori y/n gets isekaied into the aot universe along with her friends during the Shibuya incident. This is basically y/n rizzing up people.

"Guys where the fuck are we?" You asked, completely baffled by the situation.

“Caviar!” Toge muttered.

One moments you were in Shibuya fighting and the next thing you knew you were in a big land with a forest behind you.

"Have we all been fucking yeeted to a goddamn forest?" Maki spoke furiously.

And of course Mai had to butt in.

"Yeah like what the fuck?" Mai added angrily.

Everyone just started bickering with each other.

In the midst of this chaos,

todo and yuji were crying something about missing Takada-chan and Jennifer Lawrence,

panda had become the budha statue,

gojo was annoying nanami,

yuta,toge and megumi were silently having a conversation,

And you were having a staring contest with sukuna. Yes the great sukuna had finally been separated from yuji for plot purposes and assumed his original form.

"Give up brat you're setting yourself up for failure." Sukuna mocked you.

"I'm going to hit you sukuna shut the fuck up let me focus asshole." You cursed at him. This was his strategy to annoy you until you give up.

"You only have one decent eye asshole. Stop trying to act cocky with me." You huffed.

"Hey brat back in my day kids like you would have been burnt at the stake." He voiced. "And the fuck am I supposed to do with that information?" You grunted.

"Anyways you old bastard focus on me." You spoke, your eyes were watering but you couldn't just lose to this wrinkly old bastard.

"You know I kinda dig your whole vibe like- unapologetically I'd smash and let you choke me." You blurted, when you said that you were met with radio silence.

"Did you just say you are attracted to sukuna? The old wrinkly bastard that was inside me?" Yuji yelled. "Yuji just stop you're making it worse." Nobara bonked yuji on his head.

“Why are you booing me I’m right.” You yelled.

"Now now y/n-chan~ if you wanted to be attracted to somebody you could've just chosen me. I'm an amazing human/ genius." Gojo said pointing at himself.

Nanami hit the back of his head. "Stop being a nonce satoru." He muttered. "Nanamin stop bullying me." Gojo whined. "Bro literally shut up." You muttered.

"I prefer older guys no older people in general you know," you shrugged. "Daddy issues does that to you." You added.

"Y/N ITADORI THAT IS A GREAT GREAT GREAT SOMETHING GRANDPA YOU FRIGGING IDIOT. HOW ARE YOU INTO THAT PRUNE." Yuji itadori, your twin brother yelled at you.

"He's a sexy prune tho?" You whined.

Maki whistled. "You know I kind of understand what you mean."

"My man sukuna has unspoken rizz.” You wiggled your eyebrows at sukuna.

Sukuna was honestly embarrassed never in his many many many years of living he was treated like this.

He picked you up and threw you over his shoulder. “You seriously need to be taught manners.” He clicked his tongue.

“Will you teach me daddy?” You fluttered your eyelashes looking at sukuna.

He groaned. “What the fuck is this thing? Someone take her away.”

This is what sukuna looks btw.

[stormblessed95]

This is random, but I finally got to watch the full d-day concert!!! (i was honestly super disappointed as a european fan that I couldn’t see him live 😭) And Yoongi is so amazing, he was thriving during this tour!

But I wanted your opinion on the lyrics of haegeum? Because I feel a bit crazy, but I’m 99% sure I hear him say “slaves to youtube, slaves to sex” instead of “flexing”? Am I the only one who hears that? If I hear it right, props to him! It’s rare to hear anyone say the word “sex” (I know “sexy” is said all the time by the members haha, but that’s a different thing)

Literally “liberating yourself from banned things” 👏

(Reminds me of when Hoseok wore the condom shirt - I’m actually looking forward to post-military times when they may take more freedom to show more mature sides of themselves honestly instead of placating “fans”.)

When I apologize for letting asks sit in my inbox for freaking ever, this is a good example in case anyone was wondering how old some of my asks are lol. I'm so sorry anon!! But I'm here now! I'm relaxing this morning before my part 2 date this evening and going to do that while gushing about Yoongis genius!

How many times can I make everyone watch Yoongi perform before talking about it? 😏😂

Okay well first, I'll say that I do hear slaves to flexing and not sex. Lol but that also would've been quite the line and I can see where maybe it could sound like that, but I disagree there. And the lyrics also say flexing. So I think that's pretty open and shut.

Second, I too, am enjoying the solo era where they are a little bit more free with who they are as people and individuals and how they've approached things lately. I'm throughly looking forward to seeing this energy continue but as a group too!

And finally! My thoughts over Haegeum:

Literally it means to allow/unlock something that is forbidden or to lift a ban on something that is forbidden. The main "theme" of the song centers around this idea and these controversies that spread through free speech. I personally think Yoongi is liberating himself from the "forbidden." Rejecting the state of the world and the stereotypes constantly forced upon him from people who don't even really know him.

He specifically points out a scene of him smoking, something normally very looked down upon for idols like himself, something that members of BTS have actively received hate/criticism on, but he rejects things that are forbidden for him and he embraces this new style and era he is crafting for himself.

He pointed out being essentially tired of and gives criticism of this "information age" we are living in currently. With information accessible at the drop of a hat, literally constantly at our fingertips, people are just regurgitating someone else's thoughts and opinions rather than engaging in critical thinking and coming up with their own.

(no hate to anon truly, this is not really directed at you, but it's a lot like how a lot of anons on my blog want me to give them their thoughts and opinions about Jikook moments and explain it all rather than finding their own opinions about it)

I think he also relates to this information age as something that restricts us not only in critical thought. But also how it's constantly forcing people into purposeless debate and controversy online. An overflow of information from everyone, most of which is also opinion and not fact, can make it HARDER for people to think for themselves, figure out what they believe and engage fully and factually.

He points out and questions why we are so bound to money, validation, hatred and prejudice. Why we allow these things to shape who we are and how we think. It's like we are living in a society that almost encourages that too.

I think he wants this song to encourage hope. Encourage a future where we reject these things, reject what holds us back, reject the idea that free speech doesn't mean freedom from consequences or freedom to be hateful. Reject the idea that we need to live for validation and instead live for a better and kinder future. Where we speak for what we believe in and not just spew hatred and prejudice and half baked opinions based off what someone else says, where we don't create senseless discourse or create baseless complaints and debates.

Yoongi, I think, hopes for a future, a better age, where it's more based in realism and a people with less superficial tendencies and desires. And in my opinion, a healthier world that would be.

And all this is literally just my thoughts based on the lyrics! We didn't even get into the trilogy together, the possibilities of colors used, an MV analysis, the visual architecture.... The man does everything with a purpose!! We could get into that more too if people want

I highly encourage watching all his behind the scene stuff for more of his thoughts and his process. Yoongi is and always will be my bias because of the way he thinks and the way he processes stuff and the way he writes and puts those things out into the world. I also relate so much to him.

[mayaheronthorn]

rank the Shadowhunter couples from best to idc about them and why?

Amazing!!! And I will probably get hate 🤣🤣🤣

1. KitTy - what a surprise huh?! But you could tell 🤣 and I actually explained it in my last post!

2. Herongraystairs - YES, I AM NOT DIVIDING IT AS WESSA AND JESSA BECAUSE THEY BELONG TOGETHER, change my mind (YOU CAN'T) This was the first time in my entire life when I read a book and couldn't decide which love interest I prefer, so I just didn't 😍 I can't believe how cc wrote them so perfectly, truly peak

3. Thomastair - I had a hard time deciding if they are nr 3 or 4 but I feel like I prefer them slightly more than nr 4 BECAUSE Alastair is so incredibly brave. After all that happened with his father, he still did everything to protect Cordelia and Sona. His character development is one of the best in the whole tsc. And Thomas my sweet summer child 😭 his kindness is out of this world. TO THIS DAY I remember those fucking Paris dates 😭😭😭😭

4. Malec - Cc can really write her mlm couples. Their devotion to each other 🥺 I will forever remember that Alec was the first shadowhunter Magnus ever dated because well he was a Downworlder but Alec saw so much more in him 😭 ok I'm gonna keep this short cause it will take me forever to answer 🤣

5. Gracetopher - YES I KNOW IT DIDN'T HAPPEN BUT IT HAPPENED IN MY HEART. In my mind my little asexual genius couple live happily ok? Grace is such a misunderstood character, she's a child of abuse, she was made to do so many bad things, manipulated as hell but she still wanted to change and be good. And Christopher 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 MY POOKIE I CAN'T SPEAK ABOUT HIM CAUSE I'M GONNA CRY

6. Jordelia - Cordelia was, is and always will be THE bad bitch. The ending of chain of gold when she told EVERYONE that she and James were fucking? ICOOONIC. But she's the bravest baby ever. James is this cute and gentle young man but in reality he will kill you 😍 they complete each other PERFECTLY, the tension between them in chain of iron changed me as a person, I will never be the same. ALTHOUGH they would be so much higher if not for chain of thorns... Like... This book just destroyed so many things I can't ☠️

7. Blackstairs - The tension between them when Emma was "dating" Mark, oh good god glorious. You know, Julian actually reminds me so much of James but he's SO MUCH MORE DISASTROUS, he's a fucking menace and I love that. His sexy brain did things to me 😎 Emma, my second bad bitch (I guess Cortana wielders are all that way) killing a Rider of Mannan??? I'm a goner for girl fighters. MY NEXT JACE HERONDALE. Julian will forever need Emma and Emma will forever need Julian 💕

8. Markkierantina - My poly cuties 🥺 it was the same as with herongraystairs, I couldn't decide if I want Mark with Cristina, Mark with Kieran or Kieran with Cristina, but cc corrected her mistake with herongraystairs and made them all smash. Amazing. Cristina was a key to make Mark and Kieran's relationship work, that's all I'm gonna say

9. Clace - That will probably surprise some of you but I kinda lost this clace magic along the way of reading tsc. I absolutely love them as characters and Jace is one of the funniest bitches. Idk, I don't feel it as much as I used to. But well I was 13 when I read tmi and now I'm 23 so 🤣 I still remember that 4-6 tmi books broke me emotionally so I have this great sentiment for Clace but we have many more couples that I love more 🥺

10. AriAnna - I fell in love with them when I read gotsm and I rooted for them SO HARD in cog and coi, I couldn't get enough of that tension. And then cot happened.... It felt like cc just decided to drop them, gave them an easy ending just to get rid of them... So I was greatly disappointed. And I know that if not for cot they would be higher

11. LucieJessie - Honesty (and I say this with great sadness) I was bored reading their story in cog and coi, they were just so bland to me, I don't know 😭 BUT cot made everything change. When Jessie came back to life he was SO FUN TO READ I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!! I loved them and I'm sad that it wasn't like that from the beginning

12. Sizzy - I know, I know. But I never felt them 💀 I mean, yes I love them together and I love their characters but I don't see the magic 😭😭😭 I WANT TO

13. GwynDiana - Oh they were SO IMPORTANT TO ME 😭 I adored every minute but they didn't have much chapters so 😫

14. GideonSophie - Honestly I read tid years ago and I don't remember shit, I know that I liked them and Gideon was a babe to her 💕

15. CecilyGabriel - Same as 14, I don't remember shit, but I know I liked them less than Gideon and Sophie 💀

I hope I didn't forget about anyone!!

[missmitchieg]

i don’t go here but what happened to penelope garcia’s hair ? isn’t it like shoulder length ? did she cut it ? !

/lh , tell me about penelope garcia please ?

Yay! I love talking about babygirl! Ok, so it looks like she did indeed cut her luscious locks so rip to her long princess curls. They will be missed until they grow back. 💖

Ok, so season 1-15 Penelope was MY GIRL, ok? She was MY GIRL.

She's, like, a super genius super cutie and she's super sweet and kind and loves animals. (Seriously, one of the reasons she started working for the FBI is she was a computer hacker and hacked into the website of a cosmetic company that tests on animals and her options when she got caught were literally work for the FBI or her ass is getting thrown in prison. She chose the FBI. We love a queen that fights for animal wellfare. The other reason was she wanted to get away from her garbage, and I do mean GARBAGE, boyfriend and have a better life.)

I'm pretty sure she has ADHD. Maybe autism. IDK, but she's definitely some kinda neurospicy.

She's a walking sparkly neon rainbow. You know the way Flynn's bedroom is described in the one jatp book? Season 1-15 Penelope is that and I love it.

She went ginger once and it was a whole vibe.

Wow, I love her.

She was super nice to her ex boss all the way from s1 to his departure in early s12, and I'm 99% sure was the only one that actually called him bossman or sir bc everyone else just called him Aaron or by his nickname, Hotch. She was really good at making him smile, which actually wasn't that hard but people exaggerate the rarity of a Hotch smile for some reason.

After that, she was still really nice to the replacement he handpicked, Emily Prentiss, who she already adored after working with her since s2.

Hotch was literally physically incapable of saying no to this woman and she fully knew and took advantage of that shit, ok? Seriously, one time, Penelope made a joke like "who could say no to me?" and Hotch just smirked a little bit because he knew he couldn't say anything. Penelope does an incredible imitation of the pleading emoji. Or the Puss In Boots face. Whatever you wanna call this:

"Boss, I want you to hire Tara. 🥺" "Ok. Tell everyone else the position has been filled." "Boss, I don't wanna eat dinner alone. Do you want a veggie omelette? 🥺" "Ok. Do you have jalapeños?"

The hilarious thing is she doesn't even have to make that face. She does it to mess with him.

And then there's her, uh...... interesting little flirtationship with Derek Morgan. Or as Penelope calls him, chocolate thunder. He loves that name and encourages it. He calls her babygirl. They also have about a million other adorable pet names for each other.

*gestures at these gifs* They love each other so much, it's kind of gross. I've said before that before I actually started watching and only had the massive comp of him calling her that, I genuinely really thought Morcia was canon. Like, oh, my GOD, dude. These two are disgustingly obsessed with each other. The shit they say on work calls. He calls her sexy and brilliant Goddess and told her it drives him crazy when "she talks that voulez coucher stuff to him". Like, hello? Honestly, I'm amazed Derek only had to sit through one HR lecture about creating a hostile work environment. Or at least, we only saw one.

Then there's her very sweet friendship with baby genius, boy wonder, good doctor, Agent Doctor Spencer Reid.

MY BABIES. I LOVE THEM. I want them back. Gimme back my Penny², damnit.

And her very sweet friendship with Matt Simmons! Oh, my god. I love them. 🥰🥰🥰

They're cute and I wish at least Penelope mentioned Matt in season 16 more.

Penelope and Luke! Oh, my God. Penelope and Luke.

They are in love and both think it's unrequited and it's exhausting but at least s12-15 were FUN. Mostly.

Season 16 Penelope, though....

Season 16 Penelope got abducted by aliens. Or lobotomized. Hard to tell.

[coquelicoq]

Seeing how you talk about your tags, I'm curious. What are some of the tags that you are most proud of?

#drunk lwj is just 1) be gay 2) do crimes #lwj internally: i bet wei ying likes bad boys. how can i profess my love AND do a crime? i know. i will propose via stolen property #‘wei ying hush your mouth i’m trying to woo you with farm animals. in a sexy illegal way’ #when he hands over the chickens he’s patting himself on the back for a job well done. mission accomplished. wei ying is so impressed. #amazing. brilliant. i am a true artist. a criminal mastermind. my genius knows no bounds. #this crime scene is my pièce de résistance. i shall sign my name so the world will know my greatness. #in the most prestigious salons the intelligentsia will gather. ‘how long must we wait to be graced with his next opus??’ they will cry. #the literati will accost me in the street begging for the fruits of my genius. i will silence their pitiful mewls with a single look. #'patience’ i will advise - nay! admonish them. then turning gracefully on my heel i will glide away from their grasping mediocrity #into the waiting arms of my beloved. 'spirit me away from this tiresome place’ i will sigh into his ear. #'i wish to recline in your arms surrounded by the animals we have symbolically gifted to each other. onward my love! posthaste!’

[funforahermit]

It's funny how being a fan of Rhys Darby has led me to become a fan of a lot of his friends as well. That's never happened to me before, with any of my other crushes, and I don't really know what's different this time?? Maybe it means that I just really have a thing for kiwis, who knows 'xD But let's see -

There's Jonno Roberts of course, absolute comedic GENIUS, pipes like you wouldn't believe, actor par excellence, and sexy as fuck. His on screen chemistry with Rhys is off the charts, even better than Rhys and Taika imo (controversial opinion alert 'xD), but I find that I also enjoy watching Jonno on his own. And the little bit I know of his personal life is endearing as heck, not least because he's a firm trans ally.

David Farrier, irresistable mixture between fearless journalist and complete mess! Dark Tourist, Tickled, Mister Organ - those are all deeply fascinating documentaries, and I can never decide if I want him to tell me more about the deepest darkest secrets of humanity or if I want him to get the hell out of there and stay away from danger for god's sake 'xD Lately I've been going through his podcast Flightless Bird, and just... everything he talks about is really interesting and compelling. And yes, the accent helps, I admit that. Also, bonus points for being a fellow bisexual 🤟

Jemaine Clement!!! God he's hot. Like is it just me or is he just..... SO hot. Like damn. I'm sure I could also talk at length about his talent, but I am kind of distracted. Fuck.

Bret McKenzie: I adore his solo album Songs Without Jokes, I listened to it so many times when it came out, and now all the songs are part of my permanent playlist. I love them to bits.

The last two together, obviously, are the best duo ever and I can't get enough of their songs or their comedy.

Steve Wrigley! Now I'm not gonna lie, I'm not the biggest fan of his stand-up and for the longest time I couldn't understand why Rhys would insist on touring with him and make him his opening act all the time. But I get it now. I've grown to love him for the amazing friend that he is, and for looking after Rhys so perfectly - even if some of his jokes make me go a bit :/ (The Ohakune airport story is hilarious though!)

Dan Schreiber - NOT a kiwi! 'xD Amazing brain, amazing way with words, amazing spirit of adventure, amazing sense of humour. One of these days I'm gonna listen to all his other podcasts (beside the Cryptid Factor I mean), just haven't found the time yet.

I feel like this is an uncomplete list, but I gotta go and do some real life stuff now.. Just wanted to say that I love them!! And I've got Rhys to thank for knowing them at all.

[beachy--head]

japril when they are in their hook up era and april feels insecure because of all the experience jackson and how many other girls he has been with but jackson reassures her

April has had a lot of bad ideas in her life, but she feels like this one might take the cake.

Her hands nervously fidget with the belt of her trench coat as she tries to decide what to do. She's been standing in front of Jackson's door for the past ten minutes, debating if she should ring the bell or not.

It had seemed like such a good idea at first. She'd read it in a magazine, and a drunken and weird conversation with one of her sisters had convinced her that wearing lingerie, and only lingerie, under a trench coat and showing up at her best friend (and current sex-buddy, because God forbids they define their relationship these days)'s door would be a genius move. Now that she was almost naked in public, she was reconsidering everything. Damn Libby and her stupid suggestions to spice up her sister's life.

She shakes her head and starts walking towards the elevator when the door opens and she hears Jackson's perplexed voice.

"April? I didn't know you were there. Did you knock?"

"Hi, I, uh, I was just..."

Disconcerted, Jackson motions for her to come inside, and she doesn't want to be rude (she has manners, even when half-naked), so she gets inside his apartment.

"Can I take your coat?"

"No!!"

She blushes and folds her arms in a protective stance, and Jackson looks even more confused.

"Okay...?"

"It's just, I... I..."

Jackson half sits on one of the stools next to his kitchen island and waits for her to keep going, the way he always encourages her when she's looking for her words or rambling, and it both calms her and works her up. Because he's Jackson, her friend. She can tell him everything. But he's also Jackson, who was having a threesome before she even knew what the clitoris or an orgasm was, and what was she thinking?

"It's just, I'm sorry, I'm so ridiculous! I thought, I don't know, I would try something sexy, but who was I kidding, I can't pull off sexy! Don't say anything, I know I can be cute, pretty maybe sometimes, if I put my heart into it, but sexy? I'm so stupid! You attract so many sophisticated women, the kind that goes to the gym and wears high heels all the time, who never blushes and look like they could model in their spare time, you have threesomes and hook-ups and so much sex just by batting your eyes, and I'm so far behind that it's ridiculous!"

She might be rambling, but she clocks the exact moment he understands exactly what she's not wearing, because his entire face changes. She doesn't know why, because doesn't he realize how pathetic she looks? He stands up and comes closer to her, and she almost takes a step back.

"And don't get me wrong, you're amazing, and you're a good teacher, I mean I have no complaints, but I should go, you must be tired to be with an inexperienced, stupid girl who doesn't kno–"

"April."

She raises her head, and sees that he looks at her the same way he's been looking at her lately in on-call rooms. Eyes dark, hungry, with the pupils so dilated she sometimes loses focus just by looking at them.

"Ridiculous? Are you kidding? I'd kill to see you in lingerie."

"You don't have to say that, just, I'm leaving, we can pretend–"

"Do you know how many times I've dreamed of this exact scenario? You showing up at my door like this?"

He's probably exaggerating to make her feel better, because him? Dreaming about her? Having sex dreams about her? Even she is not that delusional.

"Dream? Come on Jackson, you don't have to, let's not–"

The rest of her sentence is lost in the hottest kiss she's ever experienced. Jackson's mouth is exploring her own with a ferocity she eagerly welcomes. His hands are suddenly everywhere, tugging at her trench coat's belt, and it's suddenly easy to realize that he really wants this, wants her. Jackson is a man of action, and what words could beat his mouth on hers, or the way her body reacts every time his fingers brush her skin?

He slowly walks her towards his bedroom, and the last coherent thought she has before the trench coat falls on the floor is that maybe she should send Libby a thank-you text.

[sohemotional]

Top 5 (or more) Santana being in love/smitten with Brittany

1.) Her crying and saying how she loves Brittany and doesn't want anyone else during her confession in Sexy. "Please say you love me back." "He's just a stupid boy!" Alas our collective Brittana hearts were broken

2.) Her performing Songbird to Brittany... everything about the lyrics and the way she looks at/sings to her with so much emotion

3.) I might be getting this dialogue wrong but: "Can you stop staring at me? I can't remember my locker combo." immediately after she just told Brittany didn't know what she was thinking when said she was in love with her. This cute tsundere dumbass

4.) The stare Santana gives her when Brittany gives Kurt the card and says "Heart attacks are just from loving too much." She melted when Brittany said that

5.) Her entire speech to Rory when she got super jealous of him "She's beautiful, she's innocent..." the way she went off on Rory omfg she was jealous lol

6.) Her crying because she's so happy and saying she wants to hold Brittany's hand during their first date

7.) Her running to Brittany during "You Get What You Give" in Season 3 finale. The way she just jumps and runs to Brittany like she's the most important person in the universe and she only has eyes for her

8.) Her literally pining for Brittany... or lusting (?) or a combination in that episode when Santana was watching Britt on a date with Artie at Lima Bean. A.k.a "I gotta gay - I mean go."

9.) Her saying when she pictured her wedding she thought she'd be the most beautiful bride but she's wrong because Brittany is and she couldn't go an hour without seeing Brittany (honestly everything leading up to the wedding is like a Santana being sappy romantic toward Britt lovefest)

10.) Her dedicating the love song to Brittany in Heart and just everything about the way she looks at/dances with/kisses Brittany (oof the hand kisses are too much) and keeps pointing at her when they sing about cherishing a lover. I just know Brittana had amazing sex that night.

Honourable mentions: the way she looks at Brittany during The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face, Her saying "sheer genius" when Britt announces her dinosaur theme for prom, Landslide performance, Santana kissing her when Britt graduates and saying she pulled some strings to help her graduate, "You look like a young version of Brittany S. Pierce... Brittany is my ex-girlfriend," her performing "Mine" for Brittany

I turned this into a top 10 sorry and I'm sure there are tons more too if anyone wants to add.

[semperama]

F1 Kink Meme Fic Recs

I'm probably late, and for all I know many of these have already been recced to heck and back, but since I was off tumblr and missed whatever conversations were happening, I just wanted to share my favorite kink meme fics with you all! Please feel free to reblog this to boost it, if you want, and if you read any of these and like them, please leave comments for their lovely authors!!

the price you pay for a loss of control by @kritischetheologie (George/Alex)

This one is angsty, so be warned, but it has immediately become one of my favorite fics I've read in this fandom just for how well-written and meticulously well-characterized it is. The George voice is so good it's out of this world.

what happens in vegas stays online forever by finedae (George/Alex)

An instant classic married-in-Vegas fic. Funny and sweet by turns. The characterization is amazing.

find my way by anonymous (Daniel/Max)

I love it when writers manage to transfer characters to such a wildly different universe (Star Wars in this case!) and still remain so true to the characters, and this does that. It pulled me in so completely in so few words.

sweet relief by anonymous (Daniel/Max)

I did not know it was possible to pack so much love and care and great writing and amazing characterization into a watersports fic, but this genius author did just that.

regrets, i've had a few by anonymous (Daniel/Cyril)

I would read a hundred Daniel/Cyril fics like this one, lol. So dirty and angsty and perfect. This is a version of Daniel we don't often see, but it feels so true and real.

a night, a scene, a town by anonymous (Daniel/Max)

Just some well-written, desperate, club bathroom sex. Very satisfying and INCREDIBLY hot.

overflow by anonymous (Seb/Lewis)

I'm a sucker for a non-linear narrative, and this is so, so incredibly well done. The writing is phenomenal and packed with so much depth, and it's also HOT and KINKY. It has everything!

my temple will be beautiful,too by @notthehardtyres (George/Daniel)

I'm sure you all have read this by now, but if you haven't, RUN, don't walk. Absolutely beautiful, moving, healing, sexy, perfect, will make you feel the entire spectrum of human emotion and probably cry.

come over and kill some time by anonymous (Daniel/Max)

I tend to be kind of hit-or-miss on always-a-girl!fic, but this is easily some of the hottest sex I've ever read. I need to fan myself just thinking about it.

Take What's Yours by anonymous (Daniel/Max)

The premise of this is crazy creative, and it's so well done. Everything is so well-described, and the tension is insane. I gasped out loud multiple times.

let the bells ring by anonymous (Daniel/Max)

This is so sweet it will rot your teeth, but in the best way. I had such a huge smile on my face by the end.

edge of desire by anonymous (Pierre/Charles)

Amazing, perfect, 10/10 sex pollen fic. I could read a million "sex pollen is what finally gets them together" fics, and this is a wonderful example of that trope.

riches and wonders by anonymous (Daniel/Max)

ADORE everything about this! The world-building! The outsider POV! The way the characters are developed so well without even being in their heads! This has become another instant fav for me. I've already reread it several times.

Not like any other love by anonymous (George/Alex)

The George/Alex angst writers really brought it during this kink meme. This fic hurt me deeply in the most satisfying way. The ending is so fucked up, and I mean that as the HIGHEST possible compliment.