#me too ouiser me too

[mentally-at-home]

[love-and-hisses]

Shelby leaps into the day while Ouiser gives me the "I told her she's too little to hang out on top of that chair" look.

[theangiediary]

people you'd like to know better tag thank youu @deanwinchesterpregnant @dyed-red

Last song: Outta Time - Natalia Kills (really the whole Trouble album) ((it IS a Dean song btw))

Currently watching: I've been having a weird time with visual media recently. Saw and disliked Barbie*, saw and loved Steel Magnolias. Very casually trying to get through late seasons spn.

Currently reading: Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir. It's good, a little slow. A friend recommended it so I'm trying to get through before I see him in a couple weeks so we can talk about it.

Current obsession: uh. Kink, maybe? Honestly I haven't had a good obsession in a minute, I miss it 😔 but I'm exploring that right now. Went to a waxplay workshop earlier this week, camp later in August (if you're a east coaster and know what I'm talking about... Uh hiii 👀). Getting myself so many presents :)

Tagging: I've seen many moots hit already so taking the lame way out and saying: if you see this, consider yourself tagged!

*Barbie critique (don't read it if you liked the movie ok I'm a hater it will just upset you) ⤵️

It was fine, for an ad. By their own admission Mattel has been struggling as a business, so this- along with the theme park they're building- is to create a "Universe" rather than just physical dolls. The in-movie criticism of Mattel doing things for money doesn't it not true. Look at the sheer volume of collabs, commericals, etc that's happening.

(Same with the "if you want to make this point about not being pretty don't hire Margot Robbie!". Like, cute 🙄. You still did though.)

And as a dyke I was irritated by the treatment of 'weird Barbie'. I had bad vibes from the trailer where Kate offered the Birkenstocks as "truth" and the heels as "ignorance". And the other Barbies calling her "broken" bc she "got played with too hard".... making her only role in Dreamland to "fix" other Barbies while being sooo scary..... ew.

Which leads me to something that really irritates me: people calling this movie "queer"! No! Obviously Weird Barbie (played by a lesbian, and since it relies so heavily on star power/meta it's pretty clear what they were doing) treated poorly, and then Alan.. well. I know some Twitter Gays/Bi love to be "ooh I'm so pathetic and scared 🥺" so great rep for them, but the Kens dance being "homoerotic" after immediately following his rampant misogyny, creepiness/sexualization of Barbie, etc is not, in my opinion, good!

The second half overall was just bad. Ferrera's speech was basic (we've been saying that for 40 years. Happy for you if it you took something from it but did nothing for me). Hated the "Girlbossing through playing a bimbo honeypot" 🙄. Sarcastically grateful that Ken thought the patriarchy was horses otherwise he might have put up a fight! And don't even.. listen I was ready for Barbie not to be Confirmed trans/ace/aro, okay I'm not an idiot, put the final moment being a bait and switch- "is she going to a job interview? NO big bright smile for the gynecologist!" made me so angry. They really said "human womanhood is defined by a pussy 🙂 Please still be pretty, hairless, and happy 🙂". Are you kidding me? #feminism ????

A much better film about womanhood, growing up, and mother-daughter relationships and frankly, queer rep, is Steel Magnolias (1989). Hooo boy. Actually cried. Without spoiling it bc you should watch it, the characters actually had personalities, and conflict, and it felt like you could (and would want to) walk right into Truvy's beauty shop and be part of something. Ouiser was my favorite of course.

[the-melting-world]

Breezeblocks 🍋

@the-midsummer-masquerade | Big thanks to Ouiser for hosting and managing this event 💕

You can read all of the fics to Don't Stop Til You Get Enough | Midsummer Masquerade here

Day 3 prompts: outdoors

additional cw: light primal play

Khleo x Theo

Theo belongs to @amuseoffire

Khleo is non-binary and uses she/they pronouns interchangeably.

Music: “Breezeblocks” by alt-J

~ 880 words

.

Khlee von Heine had never seen anyone so casually poke around in a tiger’s mouth before.

The tiger in question appeared relaxed enough to be unbothered by it, but still. Khlee was only supposed to be doing a quick scan of the menagerie for any litter that may have been left by careless masquerade guests. To protect both the animals and the guests, the menagerie was strictly off limits. But the event managers dispatched Khlee and other trained staff anyway to make sure that no one did anything stupid.

Khlee watched the beautiful stranger play with the yawning white tiger and couldn’t decide if what they were seeing was stupid or completely professional.

They weren’t watching for long before the stranger called them over, asking for a hand. Her name was Theo and she was, to Khlee’s profound relief, an actual gamekeeper and palace veterinarian. 

Like Khlee, she was attending this event while balancing the tightrope of work and play. Khlee had agreed to help Theo with her work, not expecting one with so much presence and effervescence to, again so very casually, ask if Khlee wanted to stay and play with her for a while.

As Khlee chased their dark-haired companion through a brightly-lit maze of cream-colored beasts and wild growth, they understood that she was much like them. Free in the body, connected in nature, and… and damn was she fast!

“Oof!”

But Khlee had proven that she could be the faster one.

The barhand had the gamekeeper pinned down over the threshold of a freshly cleaned stable. They took in her features more now that her mask had come off in the chase. With parted lips and shifting dark eyes, they soaked up the planes of Theo’s face, the softness of her lips, the way her short dark hair coiffed around her ears.

The barhand could watch her all day honestly.

“Now what?” 

Theo’s question came through as a low chuckle, breaking Khlee from her study and making her suddenly quite aware of the building excitement where they were both connected. 

“Now,” Khlee rasped with a grin, “you have a choice. I can stay like this, holding you down while I ride you,” she bucked her hips for good measure, “until you can’t take it anymore… or.”

They gave Theo the second option, to which the gamekeeper replied with a pout, “You’re making me choose? You’re mean.”

Spurned by the cheek in Theo’s glinting dark eyes, Khlee dropped swiftly, coming to a stop barely above Theo’s lips. But the gamekeeper didn’t tremble or flinch. She didn’t even so much as hold her breath. Her floating energy was nothing Khlee had ever sensed in a person before. 

The barhand didn’t have an answer for what it was and that frustrated the hell out of them. But it excited them too.

They tighten their grip around Theo’s wrists.

“No. I’m not.” They said right before sweeping a warm tongue from the deep turn of Theo’s jaw to the very top of her hairline, not bothering to avoid her eye socket.

Theo made a delighted, musical sound and practically begged Khlee to do it again.

The barhand grunted a negative before ducking their head to the right. Caging Theo’s ear between their teeth, they breathed, “Take back what you said. About me being mean.”

Theo softened her voice. “Did I say you were mean? Generous – that’s what I meant.”

Khlee purred deeply into her neck.

“That’s what you are, Khlee.” Theo inhaled, her voice threatening to crack a moan. “Especially with your tongue.”

Khlee took their time dragging out their purr-laced kisses and occasional licks before humming, “So you’ve made your choice? You want my tongue, huh.”

. 

.

.

The only regret Theo had going forward was not being able to fully see Khlee sinking their catlike face in the swell of her ass.

Theo had been instructed to remain quiet and with her palms against the hay – away from her breasts and definitely away from her throbbing, leaking clit. Theo dug her fingers in the stable straw, trying to create a satisfying anchor while Khlee’s strong hands spread her wide, massaging her into a pliant unfolding.

Then Khlee shut their eyes and turned their senses inward, using their tongue to stroke up every raw flavor. They grazed until Theo was wet and soft enough for them to apply their teeth. Theo’s moans came out stunted and at times garbled thanks to Khlee’s self-induced trance.

Still, the barhand was practiced enough to know when to stop and check on their partner. To redirect when Theo had forgotten that she wasn’t allowed to fondle her own breasts or squirm to create more friction than was necessary.

Khlee only had to threaten to stop once, but after that, it was such bliss. Blissful silence – or rather, as blissfully silent as one could get with nature going on all around them.

Khlee von Heine excelled at taking her time and taking in as much of Theo’s inner world as she could. She didn’t rush a single moment and she savored every reaction. Yes, they had to get back to work soon. True, their time was precious, but since Theo was being so good for them – tasting so good to them – when it came to time…

Khlee was nothing but generous with it.

[devoraqs]

tree-mendous peach soup!!

Ouiser you’re like an inch taller than me if I’m a short king so are you

(Right back atcha ilu. Definitely down for some forest screaming too)

[wafflehouse-enthusiast]

21 Tag Game

Tagged by: @thebelgianconspiracy

Rules: Answer 21 questions and tag 21 people you want to know better.

Nickname: With a name like Storm, I never needed one. My mom calls me Idgie and Ouiser tho. (Idgie after Fried Green Tomatoes and Ouiser after Steel Magnolias)

Zodiac Sign: That’s heresy 👀

Height: 5’7

Hogwarts 🏠 : Slytherin

Last thing googled: Immaculate Heart of Mary tattoos

Favorite Musicians: There’s a countless list, but off the top of my head: Stevie Nicks, Creedence Clearwater Revival, The Beatles (Got to see Paul in concert too!), The Beach Boys, Otis Redding, Celtic Woman

Song stuck in my head: (Sittin’ On) the Dock of the Bay- Otis Redding

Following: 1479

Followers: 461

Do I get asks?: Rarely, usually only when I ask

Amount of 💤: None, unless I’m medicated rn

Lucky numbers: I don’t believe in luck

Wearing: the same Rolling Stones T-shirt that I’ve been wearing for days, skinny jeans, and my Mary Janes

Dream Job: cloistered discalced carmelite nun Paralegal

Instruments: none

Languages: English, three years of high school German. I used to compete and I always won, but I haven’t been practicing as of late

Favorite Songs: can’t think of them off the top of my head because there’s a LOT and I’m tired

Random Fact: I wore corsets every day for a year and a half in high school.

Aesthetics: Momento mori, Our Lady of Sorrows, goth with heavy catholic influence, Victorian, pin up, and SOUTHERN GOTHIC

Tagged: @saint-samwise, @lilaccatholic, @allhailqueenant, @logan-lee, @praisesroar, @caffeinatedcatholic, @askthevaticancity, @emperor-slavatine, @valiantlydecadentsuit, @tinyshe, @quiis-ut-deus

[anotherliteraryamericandream]

Dear Shelby,

Sometimes I wonder if you’re really looking down on me, and then I realize, well, of course you are. After all, with my own little bundle of joy running around in the very blush and bashful you loved so much, you never really left us. I truly thank God that you are in my life. Who knows where I would be if you hadn’t invited me to your wedding reception, armadillo groom’s cake and all. Shelby, you have done so much good for us all, even Miss Ouiser can’t deny that. She once came to Riverview Baptist with Owen on a rainy Sunday morning, but these days she rather hops around from church to church. I would pray for her to settle down, but I think it gives her great pleasure that we never know when she will show up. Your request to Miss Clairee about Drew and Belle and Marshall didn’t go unheard either. Marshall is back in his family’s good graces and Nancy Beth has dedicated herself to the lovely act of horticulture. 

Your brothers are, well, they’re getting along. I haven’t really heard all that much from your mama how they’re doing because you know your mama. Brick wall indeed. I always have loved your mama. She helped Truvy in the salon while I was on maternity leave and she still helps out in a pinch, but she loves working in the mental guidance center where she can help people. And she loves Jack Jr. We all do. 

What a happy baby, Shelby! I know you’re tickled pink with every giggle he gives.He is the picture of perfect health, you would never guess that we was a tiny thing. He loves playing with Shelby. I guess it’s only right. Truvy keeps hinting that she wants them to one day get together, “How romantic!” she cries. I just keep telling her that they’re only children. But I admit, it would be rather funny.

Miss Clairee keeps herself busy with all her activities too. Between running KPPD and traveling, she is the epitome of the graceful businesswoman. You can tell that she loves having Jack and Shelby in the shop when she comes. Everyone does. I suppose that’s because they remind us of you. Oh, and your radio still sometimes gives us fits too.

Oh, how we love you, Shelby. We miss you so much, but I know you’re up in Heaven looking down on us and laughing. God bless you, Shelby.

                                                                  Much love,

                                                                          Annelle

[lezziemanville]

5 Films Challenge

So I was tagged by one of the greatest, @sarahstreep7 ! How marvelous! Because this list is ever changing I shall put 5 I can think of in this moment.

 Rules: 5 films you could watch anytime 

 1. [ The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas ]  This movie is everything in life. It's got the sheriff/madam trope I'm in love with, it's got Dolly Parton in all of her finery and glory and sex puns for days. It's also a musical. What more could one ask for? 

 2. [ A Prairie Home a Companion ] Besides my connecting this film to the loss of my grandpa, it's helped me through tough times and it always always always makes me happy. There is too much good to say about it so I won't, I'll just say watch it if you haven't. 

 3. [ Sister Act ] I mean - perfection in film form. It's all about older ladies mostly, so that hooked me from the moment I first saw it as a young gal and I'm still hooked to this very day. 

4. [ Steel Magnolias ] Ugggghhh my heart. I know this film is meant to be about Shelby but it's so much more than that story. I ship like 9000 ships in it to be honest. Truvy/Clairee anyone? Ouiser/Clairee? Clairee and every naked man she interviews in the locker room? Ouiser and her old lost love? Ugh I can't handle the perfection. Basically I just want to be in this little circle of friends. 

 5. [ The Associate ] This movie is one of the most underrated films of all time. It's the biggest girl power movie going, it will make you so proud to be a lady. You need to watch it if you haven't already seen it. Basically, a black woman (Whoopi Goldberg) infiltrates a white man's world and comes out on top. SEE IT!!! 

Tag: I tag these lovely people though do it only if you want to @badassbettyrizzo @magnass @janetfraiser @jenc81 @jamieringo @nervouspearl @ames-78 @awesomelesbiansurgeon @roslin @whendoiturnbackintoapumpkin @applebottomclaudiajeans @catladycatharsis

[renn-the-rascal]

Catch up/Get to Know Me tag game

I was tagged by lil pip @gayrightspippin 💖

Favorite color: pinks of all shades! I'm a slut for millennial pink and I'm not sorry about it

Currently reading: dskdjfj nothing but I think I'm going to reread The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (and the two others) soon

Last Song: Sledgehammer by Peter Gabriel, which I so thought was about gay sex for most of my life and it turns out Peter Gabriel isn't gay so there's that

Last Movie: fuckin watched We Can Be Heroes with my 6th graders. It is Not Good but Pedro Pascal was in it and played a dilf so

Last Series: god. Uh. Last completed series was the Harley Quinn animated series. And my partner and I are watching Steven Universe together when our brains are dead.

Sweet, spicy, or savory?: bro I have such a fuckin sweet tooth that will some day kill me. It's so bad.

Craving: a Frappuccino. Something way too sugary and caffinated with whipped cream. I wanna try the stupid funnel cake one, but I don't think it has coffee in it

Which brings me to...

Tea or coffee?: coffee is my comfort beverage, even though it plays havoc with my acid reflux. A bitch will take prilosec just to be able to have a cup of coffee. I'm the bitch.

Currently working on: surviving the last week of school. Which is... Definitely going. This is (in theory) my last two days of teaching middle school, though, so that's fun! 8th-10th grade next year, which is my favorite age bracket!!

I'm tagging uhhhh @y-kant-ouiser-read and @actualmidwesternlesbianfoxmulder (who doesn't know me but seems cool af, hey, what's up)

[the-melting-world]

First

~ In which a humble gardener attempts to ignore a brash bard...

Music: “First” by Cold War Kids

Kipling x Calum

Ohhh. They’re just so cute. I couldn’t say no. Based on this amazing piece by Ouiser @vissenta-senadz​💖 Thank you so much for letting me borrow Calum!​

~ 1.2k words

***

“He’s looking at you.”

“He is not.”

“Kip.” Khleo paused in polishing the mug. Then they fixed their dark brown eyes on her. “He’s looking right at you.”

Kipling lifted her glass and groaned into it. She didn’t have to look behind her to know what the patron on the other side of the tavern hall was doing. His name was Calum McPhee and he was probably leaning back in one of the booths, twirling that damn wooden beater and glancing in Kipling’s direction every so often.

Kip put down her drink and sighed. “I just want to write my poems. Is that so much to ask?”

Khleo’s expression grew concerned. “Do I need to tell him to get lost?”

Kipling looked up from her notepad. “No! He’s not doing anything wrong. I just–”

Understanding dawned on the barhand’s face. “Oh. So you like him.”

Heat crept up Kip’s neck. She snatched a glance at the patron. He was still there. Twirling his tipper, sky blue eyes locking with hers. His simple copper necklace glinted under the warm tavern light. He seemed relaxed yet jittery at the same time. As if music was always coursing through him even when he wasn’t actively channeling it before an audience.

“I don’t like him.” The gardener insisted, turning back to her friend. Judging by the look on Khleo’s freckled face, they didn’t believe her one bit. 

“I just know him from around,” Kip huffed. “He plays the drums in a band.”

Khleo picked up another glass to clean, looking away with a knowing smile. 

“Sounds dreamy.”

Kip closed her eyes. “Ugh, Khleo. Just… don’t.”

The barhand gave an airy laugh. “Your little drummer boy is on his way over here.”

The gardener’s syrupy brown eyes opened as wide as they could. “What?”

“I’ll just…” Khleo reached over the bar and gave an affectionate tug on Kip’s ghost lock. “give you two a little privacy.”

The barhand stole away before Kip could beg them to stay. When she realized that she was on her own, she snatched up her notepad before Calum could see. 

The bard anchored himself on the stool next to Kip, his drink already in hand. Whatever it was, it smelled strong.

“Friends with the bartender?”

Kip stole a glance in his direction and went back to nursing her beer. “We’ve got history.”

She didn’t know why she had to put it like that. She wasn’t trying to make him jealous on purpose. Right?

“My name’s Calum. If you’re curious.”

Kip decided she would stop being rude and at least turn a bit in order to see him better.

“I know who you are. I’ve seen your band play a few times.” Something inside Kip fluttered at the way Calum’s eyes widened. “And I’m Kipling by the way.” She hesitated before adding, “Kip if you want.”

Calum’s lithe fingers drummed against the side of his glass. “Kip…” He said it slowly, testing it on his tongue as he would a hard drink. “Hey Kip?” He leaned towards her, his shiny piercings becoming more noticeable. Kip did her best to maintain eye contact instead of staring at the one in his lower lip. 

“You’ve seen me play? Why didn’t you come over and say hello?”

He was close enough now where she could detect scents hanging on him other than the alcohol. Kip picked up on notes of cedar oil – the cleaning kind. It wasn’t an unpleasant smell. Rather, it registered fresh and hearty.

He smokes too, she realized. The sudden image of Calum leaning up against some set equipment with a cigarette at the end of a long rehearsal had Kip’s eyelashes threatening to flutter.

“Why? It’s not like you would remember me,” she said instead, schooling her features into indifference. 

Calum drew back a little, blinking. “I wouldn’t forget–”

Kipling rolled her eyes and stood up. She wasn’t about to bring up what had been bothering her this whole time. The fact that Calum had seen her at one of his shows. He had held her gaze throughout the band’s entire set. Not once had he looked down at his drum or his bodhran tipper. Not once did he pause to move the dark curls that fell into his eyes, whose color made Kipling think of misty hills and open sky.

Forget about his eyes, Kip told herself as she left him at the bar. Clearly after all of that gazing and supposed longing during his performance, Calum couldn’t even bother to remember her…

“Um... is everything okay?” Khleo whispered as Kip breezed by them on her way out.

“I just need some air,” Kipling said without slowing down.

When she made it outside of the Chandrian, she folded her arms. Then she concentrated very hard on trying not to cry when the door suddenly swung open behind her.

“Kip, wait.”

“Go away,” Kip said without turning around. She already knew who had followed her out.

Something steady and swift began beating against a soft surface.

“The bard sold her wedding dress and bought a guitar.”

Kipling paused. She waited to hear more.

“She wrote her lyrics on the wind. So sage and so true.”

The gardener turned around to see Calum holding his bodhran against his chest and drumming up a hypnotic beat.

“Sung them with an earthy lilt. A mystic folk twang.”

The drummer looked at Kipling with the same gaze that he had that day at the concert. Like she was the only person in the audience who mattered. Like she was the only one the song was for.

“Prayed to end all suffering. Through baptism by song.”

The only difference was…

“How foolish of her.”

The words the bard sang were written by Kip.

“How wrong.”

Not Calum.

“How wrong!”

They both knew this was the end of Kip’s poem, which, thanks to Calum, had become a song. Kip noticed that his hands holding his beater and drum were quivering slightly. He set them on one of the benches outside the tavern and rushed to pull something out of his pocket.

“You dropped this at my show. I found it while I was trying to look for you.”

Kip walked up to the bard. She didn’t care about the piece of paper. 

Calum swallowed as she came close enough to shift the palm of her hand against his chest and up to his collarbone. 

“I-I wanted to return it to you, but–”

Kip’s fingers wound around Calum’s copper necklace. She tugged very gently as she leaned in. The gardener was greeted with the taste of bark from the cedar, undercut with whatever cheap tobacco he smoked. The heel of her palm grazed against the hair crowding his lean chest while her other hand floated up to brush against his rough cheek.

Kip pulled back just enough to look into his eyes. “You wrote music to go with my poem?”

Calum’s expression softened. “The beat was born in my head before I even finished reading what you wrote. I picked up the drum, read the poem again and… Kip, I’m sorry, but I couldn’t stop–”

Kipling kissed the drummer again, this time sighing blissfully when he folded his arms around her waist and shared some of that unrelenting, rhythmic energy with her. More than the whiskey she tasted on his lips or feeling the friction in the roughness of his jaw, Kipling felt that drum beating endlessly within.

“No, Calum.” Kip lingered against the smooth metal against his lip. “Don’t ever stop.”

[anotherliteraryamericandream]

Miss Clairee,

Sometimes I wonder if life ever slows down, and then I take one look at yours and see that life has only begun. You’ve been so many places and touched so many people, it’s no wonder all of Chinquipin Parish adores you. Except for maybe Janice. If I’m being honest--you have better hair than her. The amount of oil in her hair makes me wonder if she drinks olive oil.

Miss Clairee, I really don’t know how I would have come to gripes with Shelby’s passing if it weren’t for you. You have your moments where things are too much for you, but I do love your humor however crass it can be sometimes.

I also thank you for your love and dedication to not only Jack Jr but my Shelby. Thank you for loving her like you love her namesake. Thank you for loving Miss Ouiser too. I don’t want to know how you two met and became friends, but I thank you all the same.

Thank you for being a rock, Miss Clairee.

                                        Love,

                                             Annelle

[wafflehouse-enthusiast]

I was tagged by the lovely @llleeerrroooyyy to answer these 21 questions, and then tag 21 blogs I’d like to know better. Thank you!

Nickname: My mom calls me Idgie and Ouiser

Star sign: horoscopes are dumb imo

Height: 5′6

Last film I saw: The Bolshoi Theatre’s production of La Bayadère 

Favorite musician: Stevie Nicks, Creedence Clearwater Revival, The Mama’s & The Papa’s

Song stuck in my head: Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend

Other blogs I like: mainly Catholic blogs and vintage blogs

Do I get asks?: never tbh

Blogs following?: 1277

What am I wearing?: My Star Wars Christmas pajamas that are like three sizes too big for me and they’re the only warm pjs I have as a Floridian lmao

Dream job: Criminal defense attorney, maybe do some nonprofit work eventually

Dream trip: Lourdes, France

Play any instruments: I took violin lessons as a kid, but def can’t play now

Languages: English and German, working on French

Favorite food: Schnitzel and Käsespätzle

I’m not tagging anyone because I am a very tired and lazy paralegal intern and I just really wanna go to bed (◠‿◠✿)