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boydepartment · 1 year ago

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Choi Yeonjun- The Closing Shift.

a/n: hi so this fic has been in the works for a couple months now, it has been on pause for awhile due to me almost dying because of a concert venue. However, i wanted to get this out SO! happy halloween my loves

warnings- one make out scene, this is HORROR i'd say like PG-14 it is def way crazier than my usual writing.

wc- 3.7k

tags- @yourmomscuntis2tighy @ikeumi @mikuzakii @leetaste

MASTERLIST

The beeping of your alarm bothered you, the constant reminder that work had to be done, and the constant reminder that you will never meet your manager’s needs as an employee. You hit snooze and let the time pass. He was going to yell at you even if you were on time so 15 more minutes of sleep couldn’t hurt right?

WRONG!

You accidentally slept for 20 minutes and now you were rushing out of your house, your hair was still a mess as you practically ran down the stairs. Not before tripping over something in your path… It was a phone. That’s odd… And it was ringing over and over again. You grimaced; it just reminded you of your alarm. The ringtone was loud and annoying too, this did not help your morning.

Your body bent over to pick it up, it looked old, almost like a burner phone. The plastic of the small device was wet, it almost blended in with the ground. The rain was still pouring from the night before, so you decided to quickly get to your car.

Trying not to slip again you made your way to your apartments designated parking spot, the buildings around you needed major refurbishments and-

Hold on… Before you grabbed your keys you saw a man looking for something. Oh! Looking down at your hand, you walked over to him. The man was taller than you, wearing a hoodie that seemed unwashed, it maybe that was just the rain, his pants had stains on them too. Nonetheless, you approached him.

“Excuse me…? Are you looking for something…?” Your voice remains soft and calm, even if the stranger left you on edge.

The man nods and you held up the phone, “well I found this!”

“Give me it.” At that moment he took it from you, no thank you, no kindness towards you. God, this morning already sucked. You got to your car and drove carefully down the rainy streets to your shitty café job.

As you pulled up you could already feel the tension of your manager ripping you a new asshole. Taking a deep breath, you walked in and behind the counter. You had the morning shift, so you had to open up the store, which it looks like he already did. You made your way into the backroom and put your things in your locker, walking past your manager you could feel eyes on you. Turning around you faced the wrath of Christopher.

“I am sorry I’m late…” You deadpanned, blinking slowly.

“Sorry isn’t enough Y/n. I am tired of you not being on time and I don’t want to tell on you.” He sat back in his chair and looked at you. He looked like he had been there for hours, which honestly, was probably true. His hair was disheveled, and his white button up looked distressed. You saw his tie on the desk next to the computer too.

You nodded and put your apron on, “got it. I won’t be late anymore.”

“I also heard you’ve been a klutz with orders. So, I am bringing someone in to help you tomorrow.”

You bit back any kind of sly or coy remark and smiled, “yes sir!”

Taking a deep breath you walked into your position behind the counter, “I also heard you’ve been a klutz with-“Before you could mimic him anymore, you heard the backdoor close and you watched him leave in his stupid truck.

To be honest, Christopher was not a bad guy in the slightest, your manager was just an annoyance because he ran Chilla’s Coffee like a prison. Which is what your barista job feels like now.

As your shift continued, you started to calm down and before you knew it, your shift was over, and you went home. It felt… different as you walked home though… Almost like you weren’t entirely alone… When you got home, you ate some leftovers and mentally prepared yourself for the hell of tomorrow.

Once again, raining, and once again, loathing your job. Your life really just could not get any worse than this. Before you walked in you looked up at the sky.

“Universe, PLEASE, change my luck, I am going insane. Like I don’t know,” you started to walk in now mumbling to yourself, “maybe Chris gets his tires slashes or…”

You opened the door to the backroom and saw Christopher talking to another guy. This other guy could honestly be a male model in your opinion because good lord, he was tall, his facial features curved perfectly, and-

“Ah! Y/n! You arrived, and you’re only… 1 minute late!”

Your eye twitched as you put your head in your locker to get your apron and put away your items. Oh, you REALLY wished that someone would slash his tires. Shutting your locker, you looked up and gave a smile.

“Good morning!” You put your hand out to the guy who was towering over you. He smiled and shook your hand.

“Good morning! I am Yeonjun, you must be Y/n! Chris has spoken a lot about you!” His smile could cure every illness, but it was killing you.

“I hope it was all good things!” You laughed awkwardly, Yeonjun let go of your hand and laughed.

“It really was not good things but it’s fine.”

Christopher gave Yeonjun a hard pat on the back while laughing, “oh Y/n I also wanted to tell you, tomorrow you and Yeonjun are switching to the closing shift. We have too many transfer employees that are openers.”

Even Yeonjun being really hot did not stop you from wanting to wring Chris’s neck. However, before you knew it, you and Yeonjun were behind the counter waiting for customers. You leaned slightly and looked at him.

“How bad did he talk about me?” You questioned him, Yeonjun brushed a hand through his hair and smirked effortlessly.

“Oh, so bad, he begged me to come help you with your shifts.” The man let out a soft laugh and looked at the out the windows that faced you both.

You laughed, “I’m really not that bad its just-“

“Chris runs this bitch like we are training for World War 3?”

Hot and funny, what a dangerous combo Yeonjun was. While you were talking a couple of customers came in so you both got to work promptly. Maybe Chris was right, having Yeonjun here really made you not want to mess up your job.

When the rush died down, both you got back to talking to each other, small smiles exchanged between the both of you don’t go unnoticed.

A woman walked in next, she was dolled up. In your opinion she was very pretty. Almost model pretty like Yeonjun.

“Girl, I need to warn you…” She mumbled, she what?

“Go on…” You said, confused you glanced over to Yeonjun who was acting like he was really interested in the pumpkin pie in the glass case.

“Stalkers are on the rise! The news said so! Oh… I have to be so alert now… A woman like me could get attacked�� You be careful too alright?” She spoke so sure of herself…

You nodded and thanked her with a smile.

“You don’t have to be worried about getting stalked as much as me but! Still! Be careful, okay?”

Nevermind, this bitch was ugly.

“Can I take your order now?” You asked, getting reminded quickly as to why you hate your job. The woman nodded and gave you her order. You looked at Yeonjun who was pretending not to side eye her.

After the woman, you had a group of teenagers come in and a few older folks. You learned to prefer the older people.

When your shift was over, you handed the reigns to the next set of workers and went to your locker.

“Y/n.” You looked up and saw Yeonjun at his designated locker, “don’t think too much about what that girl said.”

Your eyes watched as Yeonjun took off his apron and set it in his locked to then look back at you, “you’re pretty and anyone who had eyes would be obsessed with you.” He smiled at you and grabbed his backpack.

“See you tomorrow at 6?”

You smiled at him, “yeah… I’ll see you at 6…”

The next day you were almost excited to go to work, the recent banter with Yeonjun made everything at Chilla’s coffee better. He was funny and sweet and helped you with really shitty customers. The groups of students, the trio of mean girls, older folks. He really did help you a lot. You got to know him a lot better too. To the point where if no one else was in the café you both would just sit and talk behind the counter.

“Okay so tell me more about you.” You spoke, leaning against the counter, today was slow and you had time to really chat with him.

Yeonjun looked at you, picking a pastry from the sliding door. He stopped leaning and you took note how tall he really was.

“Well, as you know, I recently worked at the Chilla’s across town. I am a college student, dance major, psychology minor.” He said, taking a bite of the piece of lemon cake. He was even hot eating a piece of cake. At this point, you should thank Chris.

“What about you?” He asked and stood closer to you, his cologne was intoxicating and his eyes piercing. You took a sip of your water.

“I live alone, I hate my job for the most part, and I can make a pretty mean chillapachino.” You smiled up at him.

Yeonjun smirked slightly at you, “you’ll have to make me one sometime.” The tension was absolutely eating you alive. Until some guy walked in. He had on a long trench coat and was part of an older crowd. He wanted some drink or something. You quickly put on your customer service voice. He finally spoke again and what he said really freaked you out.

“I’ve noticed some shady folk around these parts recently.”

This made your brows furrow, “really?”

The man nodded, “listen, if you ever need any help and don’t want to go straight to the police, I am a private investigator.” He gave you his card before leaving with his drink, Yeonjun came up behind you and looked at his card. You didn’t notice Yeonjun’s hand slightly on your waist.

“That was…” Yeonjun looked at the card, then at you.

“Really fucking weird.” You mumbled, pocketing the card. The customers during the nightshift have been really weird lately. You took note of every person that has come through the door. You recognized some of them, like that guy who’s phone you found a few days ago.

“What’s your go to when asking people out?” Yeonjun suddenly brought up, when you both were cleaning up the café.

You scoffed slightly putting the milks back in the fridge, “if I had a ‘go to’ I don’t think I’d be living alone and single.”

“So, you are single?”

You looked up at Yeonjun who was picking up the bags of trash and grinning at you.

“Yeah I am.” Your eyes scanning his face.

It took approximately five minutes later for you to be pinned up against the lockers in the backroom while Yeonjun nipped at the skin between your shoulder and neck. The café was closed, and there were no cameras in the breakroom. Your breath hitched when he bit a specific part, you could feel his lips curve into that oh so classic smirk against your skin. His hands gripping your waist tighter.

“Yeonjun…” You breathed out, trying to gain some sort of composure.

He hummed against you, his lips trailing up your neck, “you are so fucking hot, I was overjoyed to say the least when Chris gave us the closing shift.”

Your hands made their way to his undercut up to his locks, you felt him groan and he pressed his lips against yours again. You bit his lip and he whined, opening his mouth slightly. You felt his hands slowly trail down to your ass, until you both jumped apart at the noise of something falling in the storage room.

“What the fuck was that?” Yeonjun pulled away from you but still had a tight grip on your body. You took a deep breath, face flushed.

“I-I don’t know… Should we check it out?”

Yeonjun looked down at you, “yeah… we probably should…”

You both walked toward the storage room and opened the door, peaking both your heads inside. The sight was irritating, one of the shelves was completely knocked over, boxes and bags of coffee beans on the floor.

“Jesus christ…” Yeonjun mumbled and led both you two to pick up the mess. It didn’t take long with the teamwork you both just had. After cleaning up the backroom you both went back to the seating area, to lock up Chilla’s and leave for the night.

While looking at one of the tables you noticed a paper, walking over, not noticing it there before you were curious. You had just cleaned this part of the café.

Your blood ran absolutely cold when you saw that it was a photo of you, Yeonjun went to the back to recheck a recipe when this photo was taken. You looked at the photo, about to vomit.

“Yeonjun?” You called out to him; you saw he was already by the door waiting for you.

He whipped around and looked down at you, “you okay?”

You handed him the photo and his brows furrowed, seemingly pissed, “where did you find this?”

“In-In the café sitting area…” You were starting to panic. Yeonjun swallowed hard.

“I’ll walk you to your car, and then I will follow you home, to make sure you get home safely, okay? Tomorrow we can talk to Chris about switching shifts alright?”

You nodded and he followed through with what he said. Yeonjun even called you when he was heading home, you really wanted him to stay with you, but that felt a little bit too forward.

Getting to sleep that night was a struggle, but you managed to anyways.

The next morning you felt sick to your stomach, right by your door was a note. It was haunting.

‘My DeArest Y/n I lOve You I lOVe YOU I LovE yoU yOu Are ThE best yoU HelPED Me FiNd MY tHiNgs And We aAre SouL MatES I Love You I lOve You I lOVe You!’

‘I HATE THAT FILTHY MUTT OF A MAN THOUGH WHO THINKS HE CAN TOUCH YOU’

You quickly ran down to your car with the note and the photos, almost knocking down a lady with her baby. You quickly apologized and tried not to slip and fall into your car. When you finally buckled up you tried to start your car.

It wasn’t working.

You took a deep breath and scanned your apartment complex surroundings, looking down at your phone, you decided to call Yeonjun.

“Yeonjun my car isn’t started I need help otherwise I have to take the bus and-“

“Babe,” he sounded irritated, “I would love to give you a ride, but some fuck slashed my tires last night, and broke my windshield.”

“What...?” Your breath hitched.

Yeonjun was talking to someone then you heard shuffling, “I am going to take the bus too, so I will meet you at Chilla’s alright? My bus is across town.”

You took a deep breath and nodded, “alright…”

Chris did not believe that you were being stalked, even though Yeonjun completely backed you up, he still did not believe you. Which shocked you both. Yeonjun was like his prized pupil. How could Chris not believe him?

“I got sent this last night…” Chris pulled up a photo on his phone, it was of you and Yeonjun kissing in this very breakroom.

Your jaw dropped to the floor, “Chris how the fuck!?” You looked behind you at the storage room.

Yeonjun grabbed Chris’s phone and turned around, copying your actions.

“If this continues, I will have to terminate you both. Don’t let it happen again.” At the Chris left. Leaving you and Yeonjun to stand there in shock.

When both your shifts started, you stood in silence, the banter gone. Your mouth felt dry. Even while helping the nice customers, you felt dull, scared. What really freaked you out was that there was a guy in a hood standing right outside your window, you turned to Yeonjun but he was taking an order. When you looked back the hooded man was gone.

“Y/n can you please focus?” Yeonjun turned to you and handed you the drink orders.

“I-I’m I’m sorry…” You mumbled and got back to work; it was hard to not be angry at the circumstances right now. As the day went by you and Yeonjun just worked. You both didn’t really talk about anything. It made the day go by quick, but it was painful. The tension between you and Yeonjun almost made you forget about the situation.

That was… until you were in the employee’s office, the storage room door was open, and you were digging through your locker. Something fell over in the dark room, and you jumped a bit. When you were going to investigate Yeonjun walked in. He quickly shut the door and blocked it with his body.

“We need to tal-“

“Yeonjun move! Something fell!” You were frantic at this point, going crazy. You were being stalked and your boss didn’t believe you, Yeonjun was mad at you, and he was the only one who DID believe you, you had to deal with some crazy guy dancing today with no clothes on, today was horrible.

“Y/n I am sorry for getting frustrated with you-“

You turned around and went to the café lounge, you still had to clean and didn’t want to hear it from him, “you pretty much ignored me all day!”

He followed you, “Y/n I know I’m sorry, I was mad about my tires and windshield, and I don’t make a lot of money so I can’t just pay for it to get fixed asap! I work in a fucking coffee shop!”

You turned around, “I forgot about that…” You started walking to the front entrance, the closed sign wasn’t up, “but that doesn’t give you- AH!”

You screamed your head off when a man popped up and started breathing on the window, almost immediately, Yeonjun went over to you to shield you from this guy. You watched as the man started to lick up and down the cool glass.

“What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck!?” You were hiding in Yeonjun’s shoulder, now crying.

“He’s gone- wait fuck!” AT that moment Yeonjun ran into the backroom to make sure the storage door was locked. You followed him, you didn’t know what this man was truly capable of.

“Y/N STAY IN THE CAFÉ!” Yeonjun whisper yelled, he turned around and you grabbed his arm. Yeonjun sighed and made sure the door was locked, it was. But by this time, you both noticed what fell earlier.

“What’s a carton of milk doing… by the second storage…?” You breathed out. The second storage was never used, ever. It was like a mini attic that was only built if extra shipments came in, and even then, when you guys did get extra shipments, people would just put them in the employee room. The second storage area was always forgotten.

You climbed up the ladder, Yeonjun beckoning you down, then sighing to follow you. When you got up there you noticed a few things.

There were blankets, food, and… photos of you…

“I feel sick…” You mumbled, Yeonjun heard more rustling downstairs and looked at you.

“You are going to call me crazy, but we need to get to higher ground, I will call the cops, okay? You call that private investigator” You looked at Yeonjun and nodded, you trusted him. You both went up to the roof and Yeonjun stood on the covering, so if someone did climb through, they wouldn’t be able to get up.

You looked over the roof and swallowed hard, “Yeonjun…?” You dropped your phone, it made a loud noise when it hit the ground level, right next to the dead body of the private investigator.

“Yeah?” He asked, on the phone with the police.

“I- I-“ He walked over to you and saw what your eyes were fixated on.

“Oh my god I’m gonna be sick.” He covered his mouth; you took his phone, and the police were already on their way.

Your hand found its way to Yeonjun and he held onto you tightly. That was until the trap door blew open. The man from earlier on the roof with you both, your stalker. Both you and Yeonjun jumped back. The stalker had a weapon and was approaching.

“Do you trust me?” Yeonjun looked at you, you nodded. The next thing you knew, you were being tossed off the roof. Into the snow, right on the dead body. You screamed your lungs out and vomited right after, tainting the white snow. The next thing you knew, you fainted.

When you woke up in your apartment, Yeonjun was right next to you, holding you close.

“Yeonjun…” You mumbled sitting up, a couple weeks have passed from the Chilla’s café incident and needless to say, you and Yeonjun trauma bonded. He ended up moving in with you a few days later. It helped with taxes and his lease was up, so you weren’t complaining. Especially since they never caught the guy who was stalking you…

Yeonjun mumbled and held you closer to him, “don’t wanna get up yet…”

You laid back down and leaned happily on him. Part of you still felt uneasy… your eyes always played tricks on you. You always swear you see things in the corner of your eye, Yeonjun only took away part of that feeling.

Your gut and your nerves still think you are being watched constantly; your brain calls you crazy. And maybe your brain is right, you couldn’t possibly be crazier than the man watching you and Yeonjun with pure jealous rage from your closet right now though. So that’s a win <3

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secretewagmaterial · 2 months ago

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Glow-Up & Weight Journal:

TW: Please do not read this if you're struggling with an ED or any sort of mental health issue. This is not an ED account, this is my personal weight and glow up journal.

Day # 5

Weight - 211.9 lbs.

"You ever just wanna scream"

Hello tumblr!

Woke up at 7:12AM which was,,, odd. I did some squats this morning that have my legs screaming atm. I don't know why my legs still hurt but maybe this will go away with time. By the way, I took my meds this morning and took my melatonin before writing this. Unpopular opinion but I prefer the pill version and not the gummy version. The gummy version gets stuck to my gums and I literally hate it.

Had a pretty chill day afterwards actually. While I did plan to wash my hair today and such, I couldn't find the shampoo and hair conditioner I use and, of course, I refuse to use the head and shoulders we have. It literally dries out my hair? somehow?

Went on a walk which was cool, def recommend it (even if it's far too cold). I've been looking at towns to move to and I think I've officially found the place for me! It's an hour away from a friend of mine (not too much imo) and the living cost is 5% lower than the current town I'm in. I've got the plan to move out after my trip (sometime between summer and autumn). Most likely moving in during a holiday weekend so I can have extra time to set up my work internet and computer since I need to be connect with an ethernet cord. Those who get it, get it.

I want to wash my hair either tomorrow or Monday since I'm off that day. This did fuck me over but my older brother is coming over tomorrow with his fam and I love them of course but I'm having a bad week. Like I do not need people coming over to make a mess. This is why I want to move out so bad, I'm never alone.

I have a list of teas my friend recommended to me! There's a few different blends and even some caffeine free options (lol love u to death girl) because she went to a tea house. Also, on my walk I stopped by the store and they didn't have the new pink and blue red bulls,,, I was so sad. I love me a good red bull. My friend L joked she'd buy me a red bull fridge for my apartment once I move out.

God I can't stop giggling about moving out. I think about it day and night, it's literally the best thing ever. My friend L did help me out with getting over the guilt of moving out thankfully. I love my family, yes, but I will die if I stay in this house past 20.

Anyway, my melatonin is hitting and I'm on the verge of buying tons of fashion magazines.

Bbbbyyyeeeee~

#ameliasjournal #girlblogging

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growling · 9 months ago

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The above statement did, indeed, age

I don't know if I'm making a second draft, but anyway, there's the changes I'm considering:

(a bit of TC tree info here too) Frostfur and Snowfur must be related in the wc growlingverse, since my designs for them are very similiar, and also, like, come onnn. Frostfur is probably the daughter of Brambleberry (also a very similiar design haver. whats up with these appaloosa mutation looking cats with blue eyes.) and Featherwhisker, but raised by Sunstar (Featherwhisker's brother), as a younger sister of Lionheart and Goldenflower. Brambleberry and Shellheart are siblings and kits of Willownose and Daisytoe; Daisytoe later got with Rooktail and had Moonflower and Goosefeather, and then it's basically pretty much like canon.

REALLY considering the Crooked/Oak and Gray/Willow litters to swap fathers, with Graypool and Willowbreeze being now daughters of Fallowtail and Shellheart, and Crookedstar and Oakheart being the sons of Rainflower and Reedfeather. 1) because I don't like how two gray cats had two brown kittens (crooked/oak), and two brown cats and two gray kittens (gray/willow). like, sorry, chyba co sie pokićkało. 2) i just like it better if Crooked and Oak were halfclan instead. Thinking that maybe instead of running away to the barn 20 kilometers away (??? how did he even do it he was a literal kitten lol lmao even), Reedfeather instead takes him and his brother to WindClan (like he did with Willow and Gray in canon but like. in a more... evil. way.) after seeing their mother call Crookedkit ableist slurs when he was a preschooler. Reedfeather decided that's enough Rainflower I am taking full custody, my sons now. Or maybe just takes Crookedkit, since idk if RiverClan would let him? Anyway, Crookedkit joins WindClan with his deputy dad Reedfeather, where his name is changed back into Stormkit because What The Fuck, and actually has a very good time there, his parent actually likes him, he becomes friends with Hopkit/Deadpaw (also: What The Fuck), relearns how to chew/speak/hunt with his twisted jaw, and prefers it over RiverClan where everyone just ignored his neglect and let his mother Do All That (also Hailstar). But of course after a while he gets either A.) continuously guilt tripped and pressured by Mapleshade to leave WindClan and his father to return to his birth clan RiverClan and back to his abuser because """"clan loyalty"""" or whatever, which he internalizes for the rest of his life there, or B) similiar to in canon gray/willow's return to RC, Hailstar and his battle patrol win him back by force (not sure if Stormkit sees it, but I'm def keeping Hailstar near drowning Reedfeather until he surrenders) and take him back themselves. Back to the torture gauntlet you go, no, Crookedkit, we're the good guys and have just honorably won you back, it was Reedfeather that kidnapped you and not us :) you don't know what you're talking about. dumb baby :) anyway we're leaving like right about now also half ur mom thinks you're a very naughty boy for this and we encourage you to work very hard to earn back all our trust and love :) ok bedtime, don't be late for cat jingoism class tomorrow. Crookedstar then internalizes it for the rest of his life so hard he becomes their leader years later. He's just not allowed to be happy ever I guess fuck this cat in particular??? Mapleshade doesn't even need to be present if I think about it..... anyway are we going with option A or B my wc followers which are you feeling .

(headcanon) RiverClan family tree draft 1

Kill me. Gently.

(this should be the last one since I'm not touching ThunderClan with a 15 foot pole, and I unfortunately do not care about 90% of SkyClan. this statement has the potential to age)

#mine #seweryn's wc tag

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callsign-joyride · 2 years ago

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You Will Be Found | Javy "Coyote" Machado

Summary: An emergency situation leads you to spend a few days with Coyote. (Basically an "if he wanted to, he would")

Pairing: Javy "Coyote" Machado x f!reader (no use of Y/N)

Content warnings: Mentions of suicide (no detail of how it happened), angst with somewhat of a happy ending, Jake is an asshole and gets put in his place, jealous!Jake. Although there is no smut, this is strictly for 18+ because of the subject matter.

A/N: I lost a friend to suicide almost two years ago to the date, and it's not something that I talk about often. I didn't plan on my first Coyote imagine being this dark, but it's meaningful to me. That being said, if you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts, please seek help and dial 9-8-8 if you live in the US. It's the number for the suicide hotline, and it can be texted.

The night had been in full swing. Jake invited you to The Hard Deck with his friends, and it was an invite that you glady accepted. You hadn’t been together for very long - two months, three at the most. Rock Of Ages by Def Leppard played on the jukebox as you showed the Dagger Squad pictures of your eight-week-old niece.

“Um, Kasey’s calling you,” Bradley said. You frowned as you looked at your phone and saw her name and picture come across the screen.

“I gotta take this,” you said. You made your way outside and leaned against the hood of Jake’s car before answering the call.

“Hey, is everything okay? It’s gotta be what, two, three in the morning over there?”

“You remember Tyler, right?” She sounded upset, like she had been crying and was trying to talk in between sobs.

“Yeah, we talked a few weeks ago about what he had planned for his birthday. You’re starting to worry me. What’s going on?”

“Uh, I don’t really know how to… Annie hadn’t heard from him for a few days so she went with Kyle to check on him. He left a note and I wanted you to hear it from us before you saw the posts.”

It couldn’t be. All of you had been friends since high school, and Tyler was always the most optimistic out of everyone. You talked to Kasey for a few minutes before you figured that it Jake and his friends were getting worried by your sudden disappearance. Wiping your tears,you went back inside. Jake was playing pool with Payback and Fanboy, so it was kind of difficult to get his attention.

“I need to talk to you for a few minutes outside,” you said. Jake nodded his head and passed the pool cue to Rooster before following you outside. As you told him everything that you knew about what had just happened, he pulled you in for a hug.

“I told Kasey that I would be on the first flight out tomorrow. I don’t really know when I’ll be back.”

Jake sighed and rubbed your back. He didn’t know your friends, but it was still a shock to hear that you lost someone that you spoke so highly of.

“Look, I’m really sorry that this is happening. I really am. But I can’t go with you. I’ve got this deployment in a week that I have to get ready for but will you text me while you’re back in Philly?”

“Yeah.”

The two of you went back inside and Jake closed his tab before he went over to talk to Javy. You talked to Bob and Rooster about what was going on and why you had to leave early.

“Man, you’re lucky that Phoenix is out sick. If you can’t go with her, at least let me, okay? You know it wouldn’t be a good idea if you just left her alone.”

“Yeah, okay. But only if she’s okay with it. And don’t do anything stupid.”

Jake was the one who drove you to The Hard Deck, and he was the one to take you home. But he didn’t leave until Javy got there with a packed bag. They asked you if he could stay and take Jake’s place for the trip. Maybe saying yes to this wasn’t such a bad idea. Jake gave you a hug and watched as you let Javy into your condo.

“I hope you can fall asleep fast. We gotta be out of here by five,” you said as you kicked your shoes off and made your way to your bedroom. Javy decided to sleep on the couch, so you gave him a blanket and a few pillows before packing your bags and putting them by the door to your room for the morning. You didn’t sleep at all. All you did was watch some of Tyler’s favorite shows and cry. Your alarm went off and you took a quick shower before packing the rest of your belongings.

The flight to Philadelphia was the first time that you had slept. With your phone on airplane mode, there wasn’t anything to do, and there wasn’t anyone to message. You fell asleep with your head on Javy’s shoulder, watching Ghostbusters. He woke you up before the plane was about to land, which was good, because you hated the turbulence. As soon as you got a rental car, you called Kasey and she told you that the two of you could stay in her spare room. Javy wouldn’t let you drive. He jumped in the driver’s seat and passed you his phone before you got the chance to say anything.

When you walked in, all of your friends were sitting in the living room. They got up and greeted you as you introduced them to Javy and briefly mentioned Jake. Kasey told him where the guest room was and you watched as he took everything up the stairs. You sat down with your friends and started discussing the celebration of life, which was something that none of you thought you were ever going to have to do until you were all old. There was going to be a candle light vigil, and the funeral was going to be limited to family.

The vigil was one of the hardest parts. When you greeted his parents, they gave you the note. Javy stood behind you as you read it and started to cry.

“I still don’t understand,” you said as you crawled into the bed.

“I know,” Javy said. You fell asleep in his arms.

By the end of the week, both of you were able to head back to California. You hadn’t really talked to Jake like you said you would, and you could tell that he was mad by the time you had all met up at The Hard Deck. The first thing that he had noticed when he walked in was Javy’s hands on you, and you giggling at something that was said.

“I need to talk to the two of you outside. Now,” he said. Bob and Phoenix watched as the three of you walked outside.

“Alright, now can either of you explain to me what the hell this is?” He asked, as he motioned at you.

“Listen, man. I went to Philly with her like you asked and well, some shit happened. I was there to comfort her, and I think that you really need to not worry about it. You’ve got that deployment in a few-,”

“You fucked my girlfriend?!” Jake exclaimed. You were glad that you were outside, because this whole discussion definitely would’ve ended in a bar fight.

“Oh my God, this is ridiculous. Jake, you know what happened, and you told me that you couldn’t go because you had to get ready for your deployment. You didn’t check in on me to see how I was doing. I needed you in my hardest moment and you weren’t there. You chose not to be there, because you could’ve bought yourself a ticket if you felt like you needed to. I don’t know what got into you, but I’m done putting up with it. Thank you for sending Javy in your place, because he was there for me. He was there for everything. And no, we didn’t have sex since that’s all you seem to be worried about. I’m disappointed in you, Jake. The jealousy is one thing, but during that whole trip, I had to text you. I think you lied to me, too. You’re always here with the guys or at the gym with the guys. There’s no reason why it should take you a week to pack your bags for a month long deployment.”

“Okay, so, you don’t want to be with me but you’ll be with my friend instead?”

“Yeah, because at least I know that he won’t lie and leave me hanging like you did. Not to mention, he doesn’t have the emotional intelligence of a toddler. You’re really living up to your callsign and that’s not a compliment. Good luck on your deployment or whatever. I would tell you to text me but you won’t even do the bare minimum and it shows. Now, I’m going back inside. Try not to beat the shit out of each other.”

Jake and Javy sat on the steps outside. When you walked back in, Phoenix and Bob asked if you were doing okay.

“I’m sorry, man,” Javy said.

“Whatever, just don’t fuck up like I did.”

Taglist:

@littlebadariell @cycbaby @luckyladycreator2 @idontcare-11 @blue-aconite @maverick-wingman @shawty-fenty @littlemisstopgun @rosiahills22 @katieshook02 @justanothermagicalsara @caitsymichelle13 @smoothdogsgirl @adoringsebstan @cherrycola27 @alexxavicry @mrsjaderogers @mak-32 @thefandomimagines

#javy coyote machado #coyote top gun maverick #javy machado x you #javy coyote machado x reader #javy machado x reader #coyote top gun #top gun maverick imagines #x reader #reader insert #angst to comfort

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xutokawa · 4 years ago

Note

I really love your s/o finding scratch marks, so I was wondering if you can do one for Bokuto & Hinata- if not Hinata you can do Akaashi uwu please crush my soul ~🥝

pairings: akaashi x reader, hinata x reader

genre(s): fluff to angst, cheating

warnings: langauge, cheating

wc: 2.4k

» masterlist

a/n: anon!! tysm for this request hehe. sorry it took so long to write :( but I hope you enjoy!! since i already wrote one for bokuto, it’s just hinata and akaashi in this one! also tysm guys for 400 followers!?!!??! i def don’t deserve it since i barely post oops but i still can’t be grateful enough for your support!

atsumu and oikawa ver.

osamu and iwazumi ver.

kuroo and sakusa ver.

suna and bokuto ver.

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

Akaashi

Excitement bubbled in your stomach as you checked your appearance in the mirror.

“How do I look?” you teasingly asked your boyfriend. Looking up from his phone, his face immediately formed into a smile.

“Ethereal,” Akaashi replied, taking in your appearance. You giggle as you walked over to where he was sitting on your shared bed, wrapping your arms around his waist, snuggling into his chest. His scent filled your nostrils as you felt his hand reach up to smooth your hair. Warmth spread through your body.

“You ready to go then?” Akaashi asked you.

“Ready when you are,” you replied, tilting your head to meet his gaze. His eyes filled with adoration.

“Let’s go then.”

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

The two of you were seated in a nice cafe, hunger satiated as the two of you talked. Your conversations were filled with smiles and laughter. Yet Akaashi’s smiles never seemed to truly reach his eyes. How could they when nothing but guilt filled his mind, when evidence of a drunken escapade was marked on his body?

Akaashi had noticed your intense gaze on his neck, shifting uncomfortably. Panic and dread rose to his throat at the thought of there being a hickey on his neck from the night before. Despite checking in the mirror countless times, he still couldn’t help but feel panicked at the thought of missing one.

“Is everything okay, y/n?” Akaashi tentatively asked, rubbing his hand over his neck. Snapped out of your trance, you meet his eyes before laughing it off.

“Yeah, just zoning out,” you tried to laugh off. You couldn’t shake it from your head. That couldn’t have been a hickey. Even if it was, Akaashi wouldn’t be so careless to not cover it, right? Unless he wanted you to see it. Tears pricked at your eyes. You quickly excused yourself to the bathroom, not wanting Akaashi to see your tears.

As soon as you left his sight, Akaashi hurriedly checked his camera on his phone to see what you were staring at. Sure enough, a purple splotch was peeking out from underneath his shirt. Akaashi cursed as he wracked his mind with what to do. All he could come up with was pulling his shirt collar to one side.

His heart hammered in his chest. Would you break up with him when you came out of the bathroom? He felt his heart crumble at the thought of you leaving him. Akaashi was hoping he would eventually forget about his mistake and move on with his life with you. He just wanted to move onto the moment he got down on one knee, the moment the two of you would buy a house for the first time, the moment you held your children in your arms. He just needed to get past this moment.

He knew as soon as he saw you walk out of the bathroom. Your red eyes and blotchy cheeks gave it away. You saw, and now you knew how shitty of a person he was.

Silence enveloped the two of you as you sat back down.

“So you saw,” Akaashi confirmed. All you could do was nod in response.

“Wh-what do you want to do now?” Akaashi choked out. He truly didn’t want to lose you. It was like living in a nightmare, but the most he could do now was respect your wishes.

“I-” you started off, taking a breath before continuing, “I want to go back to the apartment.”

Akaashi silently nodded in understanding before gathering his things and leaving to pay. You buried your face in your hands, not fully grasping the situation at hand. Why was he acting so guilty? This was Akaashi, your boyfriend since your third year at high school. Never once did you doubt the love you held for each other during your relationship.

“C’mon, y/n, let’s go,” Akaashi said, tentatively reaching his hand out to you. You debated whether or not you should take it, still unsure of everything going on. Finally, you gave him, letting his long fingers intertwined with yours. You almost wanted to laugh at how easily your unease washed away at his touch, how you immediately felt comforted, when the man who made you feel this way had traces of another on his skin.

The two of you drove in silence, neither one of you sure of what to say in this situation. Confusion swarmed Akaashi’s mind. You obviously saw the hickey on his neck, yet you weren’t lashing out, demanding to break up with him. Yet he could see you were visibly troubled, your history and past with him getting in the way of your rationality. Guilt and shame pooled in Akaashi’s stomach. He shouldn’t be using his familiarity with you as a way to keep you with him. He was unfaithful, and deserved all the consequences. He knew that, no matter how heart wrenching it was to have you leave him.

Silence continued to envelop the two of you as you walked up to your shared apartment. As soon as you entered the threshold of your home, Akaashi attempted to start some sort of conversation.

“Y/n, I think we need-” Akaashi attempted to start.

“Baby, I’m really tired, can this wait till after I take a nap,” you cut him off. Maybe if you continued to pretend you saw nothing, that this was just another day, everything would be okay. You and Akaashi would be okay.

“You can’t just ignore what just happened, y/n!” Akaashi reasoned. Your detachment from the situation honestly scared him a bit. He would’ve expected you to demand him to move out, maybe even a smack across the face, but your reaction was unexpected and unsettling.

“Nothing’s wrong, Akaashi,” you said, tears beginning to pool, “I still love you, and you love me, right?”

“Y/n-” Akaashi started, “of course I love you, which is why I can’t stand to see you like this! I fucking cheated on you! I don’t deserve your love! You shouldn’t be forgiving me! I don’t deserve you anymore!”

Tears began streaming down your face at his words.

“No, no no no, Akaashi, no! We’re supposed to be together! You wouldn’t hurt me like that, Akaashi, you love me too much to do that to me!” You tried to reason. Deep down, you knew. Even if the two of you somehow got past this moment, new insecurities from this moment would arise. Your relationship would never be the same.

“Y/n! Get it through your fucking head! I cheated on you! I’m a fucking scumbag who forgot how fucking amazing you are! I’m the asshole here! You can’t just forgive me like this! How are you going to forgive me when I’m never going to forgive myself?!” Akaashi’s voice broke at the end.

“Akaashi, stop it! There’s no proof!” You yelled back, not wanting reality to hit. Your eyes widened when Akaashi moved to pull his shirt over his head.

“Is this proof enough?” Akaashi started, “What will it take for you to realize? Did you want me to call them up? Have them tell you? Y/n, please, don’t put yourself through this! Fucking wake up and realize!”

You collapsed to the ground, sobbing as you took in his appearance. Hickeys littered his neck and chest, red scratches on his shoulders. It finally hit you. Akaashi cheated on you. He left you for another.

“Why? Why did you have to ruin this, Akaashi!” you yelled, “was this not enough?”

“I don’t know, y/n,” Akaashi began breaking down, “I regret all of it. I would give anything to turn the clock back, but I can’t! This is reality, and we both have to face it whether we like it or not!”

Pain flared in Akaashi’s chest as your eyes met his. He watched as the love you held for him slowly dissolved from your eyes. His heart fell into pieces as you walked into your shared bedroom, only to emerge moments later with a small duffle bag. He recognized it. It was the duffle bag you used when the two of you took trips. You were leaving.

Tears freely flowed down Akaashi’s face as you wordlessly brushed past him, nothing sounding in the room except your hiccups.

“Y/n,” Akaashi started, “where are you going?”

“Away,” you replied, giving no other explanation. The coldness and sadness in your voice sent knives into Akaashi’s heart, but it’s what he deserved. He couldn’t beg for your love again, or have the right to yearn for your warm embrace. He’s the one who ruined everything, so Akaashi could do nothing but helplessly watch you walk away from him, leaving him alone in a cold apartment.

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

Hinata

“Y/n~” Your boyfriend whined, plopping his head into your lap. Your hand instinctively went to comb through his orange hair.

“What’s up?” You replied, not looking up from your phone screen. Your eyes finally met his, however, when he pushed away your hands, forcing you to look at him. One look at his pleading eyes was all it took for your heart to melt.

“Can we please go out today? The weather looks so nice,” Hinata pleaded, “Don’t you want to go to the beach?”

“But I just want to watch Netflix,” you whined.

“C’mon, baby. Please?” Hinata looked at you, bottom lip sticking out, “Let’s go outside and enjoy the sun! We can buy ice cream!”

You hesitated for a second.

“Ice cream and smoothies,” you said, “and we go to the mall tomorrow.”

Hinata sent you the brightest smile.

“Deal!”

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

“Ugh, y/n, I love you so much,” Hinata mumbled out around a mouthful of ice cream. Giggling, you wiped the corner of his mouth.

“I love you too, baby,” you cooed back, heart swelling at the sight of his smile. Hinata didn’t understand how you still managed to give him butterflies after five years of dating, but he wasn’t complaining. The way your eyes crinkled and your nose scrunched when you laughed made him feel warm inside, and he wouldn’t trade you for the world.

“You know, I’ve been thinking a lot, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life like this with you,” you said, eyes shining with adoration as you looked at your boyfriend. The amount of love you held for the spiker in front of you was unexplainable. All you knew is he made you feel like you were on top of the world, the only thing that mattered to him.

Gasping dramatically, Hinata replied, “That’s insane, because I’ve been thinking that too!”

“Stop teasing me,” you laughed off. Hinata’s chuckles blended with yours. The spiker’s joy was cut off as guilt began rising in his stomach. Of course he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. You were his everything, the reason he felt like he could breathe easier, the reason everything in his world was so bright. But he knew he wasn’t faithful during your relationship. Hinata didn’t even know how it happened. All he remembered was waking up in a hotel room, his legs tangled with another’s. He remembered the feeling of his stomach plummeting to his feet once he saw the mangled marks on his back.

Hinata was pulled out of his thoughts by your voice.

“Is that Bokuto?” You questioned, gaze pointed at the sandy beach. Sure enough, the wing spiker along with Atsumu were there, standing on opposite sides of a volleyball net.

“Yeah, Kageyama and Hoshiumi are there too!” Hinata excitedly pointed out, already walking towards the volleyball match. You recognized a couple of other players standing around the area.

Hinata bounded towards them, yelling out, asking if he could join. You laughed as you watched him immediately settle into a disagreement with Kageyama before he came running back towards you.

“Y/n!” Hinata panted out, “I know this was supposed to be a date, but do you mind if I play a couple matches?”

You giggled as you saw the excitement shining in his eyes.

“It’s no problem, I’ll just go shopping around the boardwalk! Call me when you’re done, but don’t play for too long,” you said, giving him a peck on the cheek.

“Yes! You’re the best! I love you,” Hinata said as he enveloped you in a hug before taking his shirt off and running back to the volleyball net. Your eyes immediately fell on his shoulders.

“Shoyo, what’s on your back?”

Hinata stopped in his tracks as his stomach fell to his feet. He had completely forgotten about the evidence of his infidelity on his back. The prospect of playing beach volleyball with his friends overtook his rationality, and now he was paying the price for it. He whipped around, eyes now wide, panic replacing the excitement that was there moments before. The hurt swimming in your eyes was enough to make his heart shatter.

“Y/n, I-” Hinata breathed out, unable to form a complete sentence. The spiker felt his knees go weak as he watched you turn around and walk away from him, shoulders shaking. It wasn’t until he heard you say, ‘I won’t be going back to the apartment tonight, don’t wait up’ that he scrambled for his shirt, shoving it over his head as he attempted to catch up to you.

“Y/n, please wait! Let me explain-” Hinata ran after you. He stopped in his tracks, eyes wide, when you turned around. Nothing but hurt blazed in your eyes as you looked him in the eyes.

“Explain what, Hinata? Did you want to go into detail about how you fucked someone else? Was simply cheating on me not enough? You don’t get to hurt me more than you already have,” you spewed back at him, venom laced in your words. Hinata’s face crumpled into sobs.

“No, y/n, that’s not it at all. I never wanted to hurt you, not ever! I’m so pathetic! I can’t even remember how it happened. It never should have happened, I can’t lose you like this,” Hinata sobbed, falling to his knees at your feet. The thought of losing you sent Hinata’s mind into a panic. His hands scrambled to find yours, clasping to them for dear life. You scoffed at his actions.

“Get up,” you said, looking away from his figure. Hinata hopefully looked up, hoping you would give him the chance to make it up to you. His hopes were shattered, however, when he met your eyes. Instead of the care and affection he was hoping to see, he was met with nothing but embarrassment and putrid hate.

“You’re making a scene. People are staring,” you said, looking around you, “I told you, I’m not going back to the apartment tonight. I’ll grab my stuff later.”

“I’m sorry,” Hinata choked out, “I’m so sorry for everything. Please, you deserve better. Someone who won’t forget what he has in front of him. Someone who will cradle your heart and give you everything you deserve. I love you, y/n. I’m so sorry.”

“I wish I could believe you when you say ‘I love you’, but we both know it’s not true at this point. No loving boyfriend would cheat,” you said lowly, energy drained from the situation.

“No, y/n. Please, if anything, trust that I love you with all of my being, and I would do anything to try and fix this. I can’t imagine my life without you, let me fix this!” Hinata sobbed.

“You should’ve thought about that before you ruined everything,” you said as you looked into his eyes. Tears pooled in both of your eyes. The hurt and regret was evident on the spiker’s face, but you couldn’t give in.

“Goodbye, Hinata.”

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restforthe-burdenedsoul · 2 years ago

Text

I have my psych appointment tomorrow. Still not sure if I want to ask for anti depressants.

I haven’t felt this low in a while. Its def a mix between not having taken my anxiety meds and situational depression. The loneliness is really getting to me.

I haven’t matched with anyone on bumble in a while and the ones I was talking to all ghosted. I have little positive to say to my friends anymore so we also haven’t been talking much.

I have little positive to say here either. Or in this post.

Since M’s grandmother came to the states, i see less of him. The entire family unit relies on him. We were supposed to go shopping for apartment stuff tonight after he dropped her off midway to the aunts house. I was gonna go along on the ride because I didn’t wanna be home alone again for the umpteenth time in a row but she apparently got a flat tire and can’t meet him halfway.

So he’s now expected to drive her the full almost 2 hour (one way) drive because no one can watch her this week. And If he puts his foot down and says no, then I’ll REALLY be alone cause the responsibility of watching her will fall back on him.

I asked why couldn’t any of the cousins get her? They don’t drive and one is married. She’s married and her husband has a car, but they don’t dare disrupt them. So it’ll be M’s responsibility like always.

And not be a selfish bitch, but like, do they just forget he has a life too, that he’s almost married as well? That I get to see him maybe two hours a day? But by all means, don’t disrupt anyone else’s life.

I know he’s sick of it too. He’s worn out and gets zero time to himself. His days off are taken over by his family.

And I’m the opposite. Too much time by myself. I can’t find enough things to fill the space. So I just cry all the time now. I’m not eating much anymore. Still not losing weight despite not eating. It’s too damn hot to go outside and at least walk. He has my car when he’s helping out with his grandmom so I can’t go anywhere. Friends are busy and can’t do phone calls. My mom and I have nothing to say to each other even when I try to call. I don’t know what happened to my friend who lives in Florida and would actually make the drive here. And the other won’t make the drive and I haven’t been up to making the drive either lately.

I don’t know how to find a solution for this. Any boundary that could possibly be set literally just backfires onto him. No one wants to step up to help out. His mom watches her in the evenings (she was finally able to book a trip away because his aunt was taking her this week). The cousins helped for like 2 weeks and then stopped helping. The aunt leaves midway through her “shift” when M is off and then she’s alone for hours until either M comes over or his mom gets off work.

There’s been too many scares with his grandmom to leave her alone at this point. So I can’t even tell him to just leave her because what if she got hurt?

—-

This apartment feels a little better at least in the sense that there’s separation from my office. I don’t feel like I am always in my office anymore. The downstairs is huge, the bedroom is huge, and my office door is closed when I’m not working.

I’m just bummed because M and I were going out after we dropped his grandmom off and now I will just be here by myself instead. He should be home around 930/10. My friend said she’ll try to FaceTime me around 9.

—

Also adding that my car cannot fit three people. So even the times I’m off and would like to be with him and his grandmother, I cannot fit in my tiny “backseat”. Like I’d do the drive with them today but that’s over 3 hours. And I’m not trading my car In because they can’t get their ish together. He already traded his car in for a motorcycle to help out for other reasons and that was already a ridiculous thing to do. 🙄

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yesimwriting · 3 years ago

Text

Falling Angels: chapter two

A/n took me longer to get around to writing part 2 than i thought!! i didn’t know there was an audience for this idea but im glad you guys liked it!!

Im adding a country to the grishaverse to make my story work,, def not a big deal i just needed a country in which i could control the history of without worrying about conflicting with cannon lol

Link to part one: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/yesimwriting/652318577650696192 (lmk if this works ive never linked something to a tumblr post lol)

Series Summary: Y/n is a rising star in the most famous circus in Ketterdam because of her ability to see the future. Unfortunately for her, Kaz Brekker knows more of her backstory than he should, and he’s willing to use that to his advantage. The one thing he’s not betting on? That he doesn’t know her entire story

Chapter summary: Y/n gets a visitor before getting tricked into the most dangerous show of her life.

Pairng: SOC x reader, Kaz Brekker x sunshine-y! Psychic! Reader

My father seemed to love me more after two glasses of something amber. It was after these two glasses that he would tell me realities his inebriated self believed I needed to internalize. He’d pat my head affectionately and smiled at me as he told me that the world was a bad place. Most of his lessons are lost in my mind, but the one I remember most clearly is that there’s no such thing as a kept secret. There’s always a leak or a flaw or a factor you could not account for. He told me that if I wanted to keep a secret, I would have to decide what I was willing to risk for it.

I know from Seria’s reaction to his presence that listening to Kaz is a risk, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take for my secret. “I don’t know what you think I am, but you’re mistaken.” It doesn’t really matter that he believes me. I have the paperwork I need to disprove him. “I have to get to my tent.”

“The princess gets her own tent?” His words are saturated by mock casualness but I can feel his pride on how he delivered that line.

My body is still tense from balancing over flames and his confidence only adds to my desire to unravel. I can’t get angry here. Not at him. Not with the way he grips that cane of his. “I don’t understand what--”

“You may be able to play pretend here where no one wants to look twice at you, but I know what you are.” His stiffness leaves my skin prickling. “I know who you are.”

I swallow back my panic. “Then who am I?”

“You’re that king’s bastard--the one with a high bounty on her head.” Don’t back down. Even the smallest crack will confirm his story. “As long as she’s returned alive.”

Thoughts of what my father would do to me if ever given the chance strike me with more anxiety than his presence does. “I’ve heard of the girl you’re talking about,” I admit, the lie leaving me as easily as the air leaves my lungs when I exhale. “But I’m not her.”

“You’re not from Ketterdam, if you were you would have known who I was after you friend referred to me as Dirtyhands.” I have no defense, but I never claimed to be from Ketterdam. “You make your business claiming to be a psychic.” I am a psychic, but now is not the time to make that argument. “Elkosa is a relatively small and self efficient port kingdom, the island is nothing more than a jagged coastline barely larger than Ketterdam, but I have connections in all places.” He knows someone from Elkosa? I have to fight the instinct to move all of my weight on the balls of my feet, prepared to run. “A captain of the royal fleet told me the story of the night the King’s bastard ran into the meeting room the night before ten ships were meant to sail to Ravka.”

He studies my reaction as I struggle to keep my expression blank. “None of that seems connected.”

“Patience is a virtue most Saints are familiar with.” I roll my eyes. “The bastard couldn’t have been more than nine at the time, but the guards did not want to let her in. The King told them to let her interrupt. The sailor noted this because he had never made an exception to his meeting before. The girl described a nightmare to her father, a nightmare of a storm and ten dead birds. The king did not comfort her, she finished her story by saying that he asked to know about all of her dreams. She went back upstairs and the King continued the meeting as normal but the next day the King cancelled the trip.”

I remember that night as the night I realized that if I’m not careful, I’ll feel what I see in my visions. It felt like I was drowning. I felt the death of each of those men and instead of comforting me, my father nodded once like I had offered him advice and sent me back to my room. “And?” My defense is weak, my mind too lost in the memories of drowning. “Many smaller countries are superstitious.”

“The next day the worst storm to have impacted that ocean occurred. For four nights and three days the storm continued.”

I press my nails into my palms. “You don’t believe that I am precognitive, so that sailor’s unverified story has nothing to do with me.”

“A princess that can see the future disappears at the same time a failing circus hires a girl who has no business in this city who claims to be able to see the future.” He adjusts his stance, taking pressure off the cane as if he’s preparing to need to use it for something else. “I am not fool enough to believe in coincidence.”

“And I am not fool enough to crack beneath the vague threats of a man. In my experience, men always threaten with a blade when really all they’re in possession of is a butter knife. Try to drag me from here kicking and screaming, find a way to incapacitate me and put me on a ship to Elkosa, but when the King sees that you brought him a stranger he will have your head.”

He blinks, expression hard as stone. I tense, preparing for a physical blow. “I didn’t expect you to be a half-decent liar, but I should have.” I bite my tongue to avoid resorting to something I can’t take back. Like begging. “Even if it’s in only half your blood.”

“I am not her.” My stubbornness burns more than the need to survive. I inhale, hoping to shake the grasp of the sensation but it only worsens. The pinch of dread in my chest is heavy and familiar. A vision.

No. Not now--not in front of him. I push against it even though I know that only makes it worse. Not now. Not now. I should be grounding myself but all I can think about is how stupid I am and how bad this situation is.

“I’m not an idiot, I know to be quiet. I see myself crouched somewhere dark.

“Being defensive doesn’t make you any more intelligent.” It takes me a minute to recognize Kaz in the darkness.

We’re somewhere small, our backs against the same wall but our shoulders do not touch. This vision is enshrouded by the feel of panic.

This other me grimaces, but her eyes lack anger, “Remind me why I agreed to help you again?”

“You never told me why,” he admits, “you can change your mind on participating and I can change my mind on whether or not you're more useful than your father’s money.”

Something loud crashes from behind the door we’re both staring at. “You’ll have no use for me or my father’s money if we die here.” I squeeze my hands together.

He hesitates, “My ghost will.”

The future-me almost smiles. “I wonder if I’ll be able to see ghost futures.” I hesitate, something strange behind my eyes. “I wonder if that can exist, if there’s a future beyond endings.”

Future-Kaz is silent for a long second. “There should be,” he says, “for someone like you, at least.”

I watch the way I take in his words. “You’d be there, too,” my voice is low, “your ghost at least.” I turn my head, staring at the door instead of him, “If you weren’t, I’d miss the brooding.”

The vision leaves me with sweaty palms and swirling thoughts. All of my visions do that. Not all of them make me feel so confused. Apparently, he needs help and I agree to do so. At one point we’ll be pushed into a life or death situation and I won’t loathe him.

I blink twice, forcing myself to hold onto the reality in front of me. I don’t have to agree--the future isn’t set in stone. For all I know tomorrow morning I’ll have a vision in which he kills me.

“Are you ignoring me?”

Shaking my head, I turn to face him. “You need help.” I don’t wait for his reaction. “You’re not here to return someone to the King of Elkosa, you’re here because you need someone that can see the future.”

“I--”

“It’s not that you won’t take me to Elkosa, it’s that you’d rather use my abilities for something.”

I’m confusing him again, but that’s okay. I’d rather deal with him confused than angry. “I need to know how a certain business deal of mine is going to be worth what it costs.”

He’s spent the entire time claiming he doesn’t believe in my power. Was that some kind of tactic? In the vision I saw, despite the panic surrounding the situation I didn’t feel panicked around him. The probability of that future occurring is probably low. I’ve been wrong before, the future changes too much for me to know everything.

“That’s not how readings work,” I admit, “I don’t have that much control on them. Most of them come to me randomly. The events I see always involve me or someone I care about to a certain capacity. I can give someone a general glimpse into their future but I can’t promise I’ll see what they want. Sometimes I can see the general vision by just focusing on their energy but usually I need some physical contact for it to work.” That seems like a fair explanation. “Oh--and not all of my predictions come true, most are blurry, few are solid--the future is always moving.”

Wait...the vision I saw where I was with Kaz wasn’t blurry. Those can be wrong, but it’s much rarer. Do I really agree to this?

“Then maybe I should make it involve you.” His aggression has me forcing myself to stand my ground. He can threaten me all he wants but that won’t change things. “Or take the money your father would give me and cut my losses.”

Every time I’ve purposefully destroyed a solid vision, something bad has happened. I’m genuinely considering it. “What do you need a psychic for, anyways?”

“To get through the Fold.”

Despite everything, I laugh. “I’ve never seen anyone get through the Fold, literally or in my visions.”

He’s unphased by my doubt. “It’s happened.”

I really don’t want to help him. “Well then good luck, I’m happy to part ways here.”

I manage one step forward before he moves his cane in front of my path. I’m getting tired of this. “You’re assisting me one way or the other, whether that aid will be financial or through your services is up to you.”

Anger pinches in my stomach the way it often does when I’m told what to do. The one thing centering me is the vision still reflecting in my thoughts. There’s no denying it--I had felt comfortable with him. There is a future in which I feel comfortable with him and I’m not sure I’ll be able to avoid it.

“I won’t get in trouble for you,” I tell him, “The Ringmaster holds onto those indentured to him, especially the commodities that bring him profit.”

There’s something stiff about his silence. I wonder if he’s always like this, pushing the weight of his presence onto those around him without saying a word. “When I have a goal, it is achieved. I’ll speak to him.”

I cannot imagine a conversation I want to be involved in less. The Ringmaster and this man that Seria had labeled ‘Dirtyhands’. “I just had a vision--I saw your entire conversation and it ends with you missing an arm.” His stoic expression does not shift. “Okay, I’m aware that it wasn’t the funniest joke, but throw me a bone--you threatened to kidnap me and sell me to my father in order to extort me and I’ve been nothing but polite to you.”

He’s quiet for a moment, something in his expression changing in a way I can’t read. “All you’ve done is lie since the moment you started to speak to me.”

The optimist in me would like to think that his annoyance counts for banter. I shrug, feeling a little lighter than I did a second ago. I’m certainly not comfortable but I’m starting to see how to put up with the tension without letting it strain me. “Well, polite for my standards.”

I let him brood. “You must have done well as a royal.”

My past cuts through the peace I managed to grab onto. It’s not his fault, he has no way of knowing what the castle was like for me. I open my mouth, but I don’t know what I’m going to say. “I had my moments,” I finally settle on, hoping the echo of pain isn’t visible behind my eyes.

I guess it doesn’t matter if he sees me bleed. He’s heartless, and I hate sympathy.

“Y/n,” Seria’s voice is genuine anger, “You’ve turned into an idiot--first the tightrope walk and now entertaining whatever deal he’s trying to coax from you.” I love Seria, she’s the reason I didn’t die in the street when I first arrived in Ketterdam, but she sees me as a mindless child. “Whatever he told you, whatever he promised you--it’s a lie.”

“He hasn’t promised me anything.” I need to calm her down. Once she’s calm, everything will be normal again. “And he knows.” I don’t have to turn to feel the way Seria gapes at me. “He knows who I am, so I have to do what he wants.”

“You never have to do anything a man is forcing onto you, y/n. We’ll find a way--”

“Seria, it’s fine,” I reach to touch her arm, “I’ll be fine, you can’t protect me from everything and you don’t have to.”

Kaz throws a pointed glare at the man who was with him earlier. When did the stranger get here? “Boss, she’s faster than she looked, but I have what we need to get the girl--”

“You’re late,” Kaz sighs, bored, “she’s agreed.”

Wait--what was he going to do if I didn’t agree? “Out of curiosity, what are you talking about?” The man blinks twice, squeezing a rag between his ring-clad fingers. “You were going to use chloroform to kidnap me, weren’t you?”

For some reason I don’t understand, the stranger gives me a look that’s a cross between sheepish and charming. “Nothing personal.”

“Or original.”

Seria pinches my arm. “Y/n,” she scolds, “your sense of humor is going to kill me one of these days.”

I cringe, pulling my arm away. “When I met you, you were pickpocketing in the pleasure district, please remember that.”

She rolls her eyes. “An attitude like that is going to leave you without a place to sleep at night.”

I take her comment for the empty threat it is. Every other day she’s threatening to kick me out of her private trailer so that I’m forced to fight for cots or speak to the Ringmaster about my lodging arrangements. He’d give me what I want, but speaking to him feels so slimy I’d sleep in the woods before trying it.

“Kaz.” I turn my head in time to see the girl that gave me the advice about the tightrope walker. “We need to go, he’s coming soon--you’ll do better to speak to him in the morning after she’s gone, that way he has nothing to hold over your head.”

“Once I’m gone?” The girl had called me a Saint. I can appeal to her. “I’m not--I’m not going anywhere, I said I’d help.”

Her eyes widen, sympathy reflected clearly in her dark irises. “There was never a version of this in which you ended up staying here.” I hear a hint of apology in her voice. “You won’t believe me, but I promise this will be better for you.” All of her pity is gone with those, replaced by something hard.

Seria responds for me, “I think you should go.”

“What?”

She almost smiles, but her eyes are painfully sad. “I never wanted you to be here forever. I don’t trust these people, but I trust their ability to get you out of here, even if only for a little while. Bad things are coming, and I think you’ll miss the worst of it if you go now.”

What she alludes to is a blade in my heart. “You want me to leave you here to deal with it?”

“Y/n, I’ve been hurt here more times than I can count--”

“No, I won’t leave y--”

Seria squeezes my shoulder, “It’s not forever.” When she wants something, it’s almost impossible to get around it. “Besides, if I need you, you’ll see it.”

My world feels to have lost the vibrance of color. I’ve left so much, but I let myself believe I wouldn’t leave her. I pull her into the hug. “The moment I see a vision of you in any type of danger, I’m coming back.” I hug her even tighter when she tries to pull away so that I can whisper something in her ear, “I’ll use this opportunity to leave the Ringmaster and then I’ll get you out, and together we’ll leave Ketterdam. We’ll find your child, like you always wanted to and they’ll know that they're lucky because they’re the only kid in the world to have you as a mother.”

She squeezes me so tightly I find it hard to take full breaths. “Two,” Seria whispers, “I have two children.”

My eyes burn as her words find their way into my heart. “I love you, Seria.”

“I love you too, my star,” she pulls away enough so that I can look her in the eye, “you don’t like being called a Saint, but I can’t think of anyone more deserving of the title.”

Tears prick my eyes as she releases me. “I’ll find you.”

“He’ll be coming soon,” the girl warns, “He spoke to an advisor about wanting to find you after the show.”

No doubt to praise the fire stunt he forced onto me. Bastard. I nod once but I don’t move. I can’t bring myself to leave Seria until the girl places a hand on my elbow.

Falling Angels Taglist: @glowstick-lesbian @cashlum @whatiswrongwithpeople @pass-me-jeez-it @thecraziestcrayon

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kuroosmikasavolleyball · 3 years ago

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Like A Disney Movie But Awkward

Abendrot

(n) the color of the sky when the sun is setting; a certain afterglow.

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Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

| previous | masterlist |

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a/n: there have been so many delays(I’m so sorry), but this is the final part! I hope you enjoyed this series. It’s kinda wonky because it’s my first one but in the future, it’ll def get better. Let me know what pairing you want to see next!

Part 5 summary: (Y/N) can’t get the sunset or Cedric out of her head, so she asks him to go watch the sunset with her. Totally just like friends, right? After falling(literally) in love and a bit of advice from the twins, (Y/N) has everything she needs to confess. But will she? (I mean no shit it’s a happy ending)

pairing: cedric x fem!reader (in ravenclaw)

genre: fluff

warnings: none

word count: 1.1k

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The excitement that was brought along with the weekend and the quidditch games was gone when Monday struck through. Most teachers were understanding enough on Friday to lessen the workload, but Snape still assigned a 6-inch paragraph on Golpallot’s Third Law. The twins laughed at (Y/N) when they heard what homework Snape gave since they weren’t in Potions class anymore.

Cedric announced, well actually, scratch that. Cedric told the twins and (Y/N) that he was going to enter the Triwizard Tournament; Fred and George announced it to basically the entirety of Gryffindor and Hufflepuff.

“Maybe I should’ve kept it a secret until I actually entered.”

Cedric whispered to (Y/N), who was currently by the pond with the three boys.

“I think I would’ve been offended if you didn’t tell me.”

“Duly noted. Now, what are we supposed to do for Charms again?”

Chuckles rose and (Y/N) leaned over to check Cedric’s textbook.

“Since it’s water we’re handling, we need to research and take notes on a way to breathe underwater.”

Fred’s head suddenly popped up from the draft advertisement for Weasley’s Wizardly Wheezes(3W), “That sounds cool, no? Breathing under water. I reckon we’ll have sprouted tails and gills if I try that spell. Do tell though; how do you cast the spell?”

Cedric laughed, “It sounds like you’re going to test that spell no matter what the consequences. I think there’s one about some sort of weed you have to eat, and maybe you can do transfiguration on yourself, or..”

The rest of the afternoon was spent on doing work and lazing around. (Y/N) had an idea about seeing the sunset again now that she fell in love with it. It was addicting.

(Y/N) tiptoed behind Cedric after spotting him outside near the courtyard. She quietly reached for his arms and suddenly shook him in hopes of scaring him. It worked, sort of..he turned around and jumped simultaneously, tripping over (Y/N) and landing on the floor, grasping her to prevent too much damage.

They both groaned as the pain shot through their backs, Cedric quickly scrambling off of (Y/N) to avoid her seeing his blush getting crushed by him.

“Ugh..remind me to never scare you again.”

They both laid on the grass, no energy to get up from the slightly too close situation they were in.

“Anyways..are you free tonight?”

Cedric cocked his head, turning to look at (Y/N) to see her already gazing at him.

“Um..except the fact that we have classes tomorrow and should probably sleep early, yeah I’m free. What do you have in mind?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to see the sunset… with me. I saw a glimpse yesterday during the game and I think I have a good spot to see the view. You up for it?”

“..Definitely. The sunsets near the quidditch pitch are one of a kind.”

“I know right?! Bring your broomstick.”

After finishing all her work and rushing out the Ravenclaw room when Kimball told her to use protection, she bumped into George and Fred.

“Woah, where are you going so quick?”

George dramatically pretended to faint. “Are you..sneaking out? Freddie, catch me. We’ve finally turned little Ms. Follow The Rules; I couldn’t be more proud.”

(Y/N) rolled her eyes playfully. “I might be..what’s it to you?”

“Ok defensive queen. We can’t find Diggory anywhere and we were about to ask you, but I think I know why he’s missing now. You guys finally confessed??”

Why is it so easy for her face to heat up?

“Oh, god no. We’re just going to see the sunset.”

“Then I guess you wouldn’t mind if we joined you both, right?” Fred snickered.

“No! ..I mean.. ugh fine, you guys win. I want to tell him...”

“Aw look, she’s in love. Don’t worry, pretty boy is hooked on you.”

“Shush..I have to go…thanks.”

She zoomed past, thankful to get away from the boys towering over her intimidatingly. After a quick stop to the quidditch locker room, she met Cedric and they snuck out of the exit near the gardens.

“Where are we going?”

“Just follow me.”

Out of instinct, (Y/N) grabbed Cedric’s hand and pulled him towards the field. She mounted her broom and told Cedric to do the same. They flew to a hilltop not too far from the quidditch stands and heard chuckles behind her when Cedric found out what she was planning.

“Here’s the lucky spot; I think it’s high enough to see the sunset clearly.”

The sky had already become a mixture of the most compassionate shades of orange and blue. Cedric produced a blanket that was magically folded in his pocket and they sat, conscious of the closeness.

“It’s so ethereal… and weirdly calming.”

Cedric wanted to say that (Y/N) is way more ethereal and calming, but he kept it to himself.

The sun touched the horizon and started sinking into a sea of warm tones. Cedric glanced towards (Y/N), seeing the beauty in front of them as a reflection in her eyes. He wanted to tell her, so badly. But the fear of messing up everything held him back until his thoughts vanished when she turned her head towards him too.

“I’m cold.” (Y/N) grumped with a slight smile.

Cedric’s arms had an irreplaceable feeling to them and (Y/N) wished time would stop. She did have feelings for him anyways…

“Hey I have to tell you something.”

“Go ahead.”

“(Y/N)..I’ve wanted to tell you..but I don’t really know how to.”

“Can I say it first?”

“Wait what??”

“Wait, were you not going to say..oh my god did I misunderstand..shoot I- “

Frantic speeches were then cut off by a soft touch of lips. A simple warmth spread through both their bodies immediately into a rapid fire of feelings.

Cedric pulled away.

“So you were thinking the same thing as me.”

They both laughed as their cheeks heated up and they looked at the sky again. The sun has now almost completely disappeared into the dark abyss of mountains.

(Y/N) broke the silence. “You know, I thought of you during the game..and a lot of other times. *chuckles* Because the sunset kept coming up in my mind, and I remembered when you told me a word for this..view.”

“Is that why you wanted to come up here? I just thought you wanted a bigger gesture to say something..I’m just glad I had the same words in mind.”

“I like you. A lot. Sorry, I just wanted to say it.”

“I like you too. Way more than I thought earlier because I was scared, but now..yeah.”

(Y/N) grinned and a mutual understanding passed through their eyes; before wasting another second, they kissed again. Slowly and gently, as the sky turned darker.

Cedric whispered against her lips. “You’re my abendrot.”

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extra a/n: lol this was so much like a disney movie ending pls- I’m going to start writing angst,,,

#cedric x y/n #cedric diggory #cedric x reader #cedric imagine #cedric diggory fluff #abendrot series #fred weasley #george weasley #fred and george #harry potter #harry potter x reader #harry potter masterlist #harry potter fluff #x y/n #cedric fanfiction #cedric #bts #harry potter series #cedric diggory series

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angelaiswriting · 4 years ago

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25 | (JATP) Alex & twin!sister!Nancy

✏️ Pairing (sorta, but not really): Alex & twin!sister!Nancy

✏️ Summary: It’s been twenty-five years, but Nance is still mourning the deaths of her brother and her friends. Life hasn’t exactly been going in the right direction since 1995 — it never has, though, ever since she has memory — but little does she know her daughter Sarah is about to find out that Uncle Alex and Sunset Curve are back as ghosts and playing with an old school friend. (Not requested)

✏️ A/N: Many thanks to @themazeskies for introducing me to this fandom ✌🏻 this story def wouldn’t be here without you. (Thank you for feeding my need for angst!) To the rest of y’all: enjoy! Angie and I sort of created a little universe of events and stuff with these characters, so if you wanna read more, just let me know. 🥰

✏️ Warnings: sad/angst (but also fluff? if you squint?); mentions of death (but that’s the show?); slight hint to a past use of drugs.

✏️ Notes: flashbacks in italics; lyrics in bold and italics.

✏️ Word Count: 6,472

It happens suddenly. One day she’s… normal, one would say — doing her things, carrying on with her life, helping her daughter prepare her things to leave home as soon as high school ends — and the next she’s whole again.

She hasn’t felt that kind of whole in twenty-five years.

Alex used to call it their twin link, back in the day, when putting up with their parents and their falling-out marriage seemed to be the worst thing they had to endure. Lex…

There’s a treacherous tear running down her cheek and when her brain registers it, it’s almost too late. She feels it on her jaw, threatening to fall down onto the test she’s grading. Her mind almost anticipates what’s about to happen — the tear will dangle from her jaw for a moment, and then it’ll eventually land onto one of the words one of her students wrote, and it will stain it. But her hand is quicker, and it wipes that tear away before it’s too late.

Twenty-five years.

Her throat knots up with the tears she has been trying so hard not to shed. The anniversary of his death is coming up quickly, and with a son off at college and a toxic ex-husband still fighting to spill money out of her, she feels the loneliness and the weight of it all even more. It’s in her limbs when she wakes up, and it stays perched on her shoulders throughout the day, until it’s finally time to go to bed. And to start it all over again.

She’s managed twenty-five years without him, so she reasons that she can manage twenty-five more — it’s not like she has a choice. She promised it, after all, too long ago to even remember when, exactly, but that was one of the things they had both promised each other — that they’d have a happy life; that they’d fight for it, no matter the cost, no matter where they’d be in the world, if together or if apart. Life had spinned the roulette and the ball had landed on apart, but that had been out of their control.

“Mom? Mom, are you listening?”

Sarah’s standing there, fingertips digging into the cushioned back of the couch — her baby girl now at the threshold of adulthood. Time really does fly in hindsight.

“I said I’m taking Lex on a run,” she says, brows furrowing as she lets the dog’s leash dangle in her hold, almost as a way to catch her mother’s attention. “Are you okay? Did Dad call again? Do you want me to call Jake?”

She shakes her head and only then, when her gaze drops to the kitchen table, does she realize she’s been gripping onto the red pen in her left hand with more force than necessary. “I’m okay, just thinking. Don’t be too late, you still have school tomorrow.” And although that’s true, her voice comes out soft and tired, and all of a sudden she knows tears are about to come. “Have fun,” she adds before her daughter can speak.

A pet to Lex’s furry head, and the dog has sprinted into a messy run towards the entrance door.

“You know you can talk to me.” Sarah’s standing in the corridor, but her head is poking into the room, a hand gripping the door frame. It’s a weird sight, albeit not unfamiliar — a boy her age, blonde hair much shorter, a happy smile on his lips, she’s seen that pose a million times in a past life. “If it’s about Uncle Alex…” There’s a long pause as the girl looks for the right words, goes over every possible ending she could come up with, but then settles for none. “You know it,” her daughter nods, and then she’s gone.

Unconsciously, she sits up straighter and strains her ears until she hears the front door open and close. Lex barks twice outside and through the open window of the living room, she can hear her daughter’s chuckle at the dog’s playfulness.

Then everything goes silent again and she’s left with that odd sensation in her soul. It’s nothing she can put her finger on, but it’s… there, and it’s something. Something she had never known she felt until that night, and something she hasn’t felt ever since. It knocks the wind out of her and as the pen falls onto the table, a sob tears its way up her throat.

It feels like home, in a way. It feels like being seventeen again — not the Zac Efron way, but it’s… again, something. Something so utterly absurd that she’s this close to slapping a hand against her forehead, but that hand just ends up clamping down onto her mouth when she feels another sob coming.

She feels the sobs more than she does the tears. They seem to shake her from the inside out — and not just from there, but from her very soul. She tells herself it’s just the anniversary — and everything else in her life going both the wrong and the right way. Her marriage in shambles, and her kids off to college, leaving her with no one but the dog she rescued some five years ago at their spot.

It has to be that. It’s all catching up this year, after all. The twenty-fifth lap around the Sun, bringing back all the memories from that night, both at the Orpheum and then in that alley. Her ex-husband trying to shatter what’s left of her life after leaving her utterly heartbroken one too many times already. Sarah going off to nursing school when the school year ends; and Jake playing his uncle’s instrument with his friends from college.

The house already does feel empty, but right now it’s almost hollow. Hollow and silent, almost expanding to infinity as she tries her best to keep herself under check — and she fails.

“C’mon, you’ve already done this countless times,” but her voice shatters on the last syllable and her lower lip quivers, and for a moment she’s blind even behind her reading glasses. “Just breathe.”

But that just breathe doesn’t hit as well as her brother’s always did, it doesn’t calm her down. She’s left feeling like she’s whole again — and more than that, like she’s part of something bigger, of a two-for-the-price-of-one kind of deal. And as she makes her way upstairs, her knees aren’t the only part of her body trembling.

There’s an old shoebox on the top shelf of her closet. It’s been there ever since the beginning and through all the relocations her family has done since the unlucky day she moved in with Michael at eighteen. It’s a pale red by now, held closed by elastic bands of every color and they’re so many because when the memory of what’s inside makes her feel like she’s starting to crumble apart again, she adds one more in the desperate attempt to keep it sealed, to keep the past inside, hidden away, almost as though by doing so, she can keep every single one of those memories locked away in a dark and recondite corner of her mind.

But not today. Today she knows she has to open it. She feels it in her bones, and probably even deeper than that. And maybe it’s about time — just open the Pandora box and see what happens, or something like that. The tears are already there; she doesn’t see what else could come out of her hidden past that isn’t already there.

Taking the rubber bands off is the hardest part. One by one, it feels like ripping off a brick from the wall she has spent almost three decades building around herself. It’s exhausting and by the time she has reached the last rubber band — the last brick — she has no tears left to shed. But that’s good; it has the taste of liberation, like she’s finally free of a choker she didn’t know she was wearing.

Almost as a joke of fate, a velvety choker necklace is what welcomes her back to the 1990s when she takes the lid off. Black and simple, it used to be her favorite. It was her lucky charm necklace, something she had somehow ended up always wearing when her brother and his group were playing.

But the stack of photographs is still there, right underneath it, and it takes her endless minutes to convince herself to pick them up. She doesn’t know how long she’s been sitting cross-legged on the floor for, but probably not as long as she thinks she has.

Her hand trembles when she picks up the first polaroid. And she feels it again, that lump of tears in the back of her throat, and then that sensation of absolute void and loneliness she has felt inside for so long.

The empty stage of the Orpheum would be unrecognizable to anyone that doesn’t know where the photo has been taken. It’s just a place like any other, but she can still feel the electricity in the atmosphere almost as though she was still there, stuck between those four walls like some sort of ghost.

She was laughing, and so was Alex. He had an arm around her shoulders, and she had one around his waist. As absurd as it could sound, to this day she can still smell him — he had a cheap perfume he wore at gigs, one he had treasured dearly, and all because it had been a present from her for their shared birthday. And that night they had been laughing because Reggie had almost tripped down the stage when Bobby had called him over.

The memory crashes over her like a wave. Luke had tried to silence their laughter to snap a good picture — and she’s sure there are better ones in that shoebox — but somehow this in particular is the one that bears the most meaning.

“Guys, please!” She can still hear her friend as clear as day, probably more clearly than she hears her students in class every day. “Can you please…

… please stop laughing? I’m tryna take a decent one here!”

“Sorry, bro,” but Alex is still laughing, and she is too, and in the hilarity of the moment, they end up pulling each other closer.

The flash goes off and as Luke flaps the polaroid picture, Alex gives her shoulder a squeeze before eventually turning serious.

“I’m glad you could come, Nance.” And although he’s smiling down at her from the height difference their twin bond hasn’t managed to level out, it’s clear from the look in his eyes that there’s something else lurking underneath the surface. It could be one of the billion things their parents have said — have spat out like venom in their usual style — but she can’t put a finger on one in particular.

“They can say and do whatever they want,” she says as she shakes her head. “You know that, Lex: it’s always been you above anyone else and always will be. I’d choose you in a heartbeat over them. You know I’ll always be front row for you.”

He heaves a sigh and leans his forehead against hers. His nerves are starting to act up — as usual before a performance, before he sits down and starts pouring his heart out on the drums — but she knows he’ll find his calm very soon.

“Just a little longer.” She tries to come off as reassuring, but there’s a pinch of fear — of the unknown, of failing, of having to go back — inside her at the plan they have come up with. “September is right behind the corner, then we’re both eighteen and out of that house for good. They won’t be able to stop either of us.”

“I know, I’m just… impatient.” He looks up when Bobby calls his name — they still have to rehearse their opening song for tonight. “I miss you when I’m not there, and I’m —”

“No need to be worried, Lex.” She pulls him into a side hug and breathes him in. And she doesn’t know it, not yet, but this will be the last time she’ll be able to do it. In her forties, she’ll still remember the way the fabric of his t-shirt felt against her cheek that night — soft and warm, smelling of the perfume she gave him on his last birthday; the way he playfully tugged on her braid, or how that chuckle ringed in the back of his throat. And even the way Reggie flirtingly called her just so that she would turn around. “Now go show them who’s best,” she chuckles, letting her brother go.

Watching them play always gives her a first-time kind of sensation, and there’s no stopping her from dancing around, just feeling the music. Now or Never is one of her favorite songs of theirs, and she just knows they’ll make it big. Landing a gig and playing at the Orpheum isn’t easy, but she’s looking at them — a bunch of seventeen-year olds, and she can’t but smile because they’ll hit the big time soon. Their own concerts, their own tours, no more sneaking around parents to play in a garage — but an actual career, with an actual label, and everything will be good.

And it’s almost exhilarating to know that they’re all willing to take her with them on their journey. It’s not like they’ll ever be able to get rid of Alex’s twin sister, not when they know how much they mean to each other, how important they are to each other as they wait to become of age. It’s the start of something big and she’s there with them, a bunch of kids she’s met almost by accident, and she can’t wait for tonight. The people, the Orpheum…

She jumps around, excited, and there’s nothing else. Not her parents’ venom towards Lex, not the billion and one problems at home, not even volleyball practice at school.

“Nancy!” She looks up when Reggie calls her name over Luke’s singing and when her eyes meet his, she realizes she’s tired of the endless and fruitless flirting and that she’d love to go to the school ball with him. “‘s one’s for you!” he grins, before joining the others in the chorus — Keep dreaming like we’ll live forever, But live it like it’s now or never.

She cheers, and even the girl behind her giggles as she cleans one of the tables in preparation for tonight.

The one before her is a sight that would turn into a picture in her mind with time, a photogram that would never fade, would never age. Four friends living their dream — and it’s amazing to know that one of them is the person she cares about the most in the world. She looks at them and even at forty-two, she won’t be able to think back of Bobby with contempt as he stands on that stage.

It feels like finally being a part of something bigger than just herself, even if she’s standing on the sidelines, watching someone else living the dream. She’s there for that; she’s there for them, and she will always be, wherever that’ll take them —

— She doesn’t know that ‘wherever’ is a dirty couch in a back alley. Or an ambulance that will just arrive at its destination too late. Right now it’s the Orpheum first, and then something bigger and better in the future.

When the song is over, she’s the first to clap and whistle in an empty Orpheum Theater, excitement bubbling up inside her, making her blood buzz in her veins.

“You’re the only groopie that matters,” Reggie jokes, pulling her into his side after jumping down the stage. “I’d ask you out on a post-gig burger if it wasn’t for…”

They both turn to glance at her brother and see him climbing down the stairs to the side of the stage to get to them.

“Dream on, Reginald,” he says and she laughs.

“It’s just rehearsals but you guys were killing it up there,” she smiles, intertwining her fingers with her brother’s. “I can’t believe you’re actually here.”

“And that you snuck out just to come and see us,” Bobby adds, a grin shyly stretching on his lips.

“Bold of you to assume she’s not just here for Alex!” Luke picks her up from behind, his arms wrapped tight around her waist as he spins her around.

“Put me down,” she laughs out of breath. “He’s my brother. Of course, he’s the number one reason I’m here,” she jokes.

When he eventually puts her down and they stare at each other chuckling as they catch their breaths, Reggie is the first to speak. “You’re like family to us,” he says, “you make everything else worth it.”

She smiles, through her breathlessness and the skin of her face heating up. “You guys are family for me as well.”

There’s not much silence then, not when the few workers present cheer on the guys, distracting them from the moment. She stands there, smiling softly at the bassist in front of her, and he smiles at her just as warmly.

“For the record,” she whispers, “I would have said yes to that post-gig burger.”

And he smiles, cheeks flushing pink before Luke’s Street dogs? distracts them.

She watches as they all agree — all but Bobby, for he ‘could never hurt an animal,’ as he tries to flirt with the slightly older waitress. Rose. She’s nice, and as Nancy’s found out while the boys were setting their stuff up on stage, she has a group of her own. And just as Rose has made her feel at home while she had sat all alone on one of the stools, Nance steps in to steer the guys away just after Reggie gifts her one of their t-shirts — size beautiful, and she’ll forever remember those two words with a smile on her face even years later.

“I’m sorry, they just don’t know when to stop with the flirting,” she smiles apologetically just before guiding Luke towards the exit door.

“You coming with us?”

“Later,” she nods, turning to face her brother as he’s pulling his jacket on. “I wanna make sure everything’s in order for tonight. This is your big chance, right?”

He nods. “I’ll wait for you.”

And she’ll forever regret ever speaking her next words. “Nah, it’s okay. You go on, I’ll reach you in five, ten at most. Just make sure there’s something left for me.” Twenty-five years later she still hears her own chuckle, still feels her brother’s warm cheek against her perpetually chapped lips as she presses a see-you-later kiss to his skin.

She watches him leave, and answers to his ‘see you later’ with a wave of her hand.

It’s almost unbelievable how cruel things are at times. You’re seventeen, sneaking around your parents, having fun with your brother and his friends, playing the piano for them every once in a while… and then suddenly the wheel of fortune spins again, and something as small and insignificant as a hot dog turns into a major plot point. The wind changes, and suddenly the colors start fading, the music turns fainter and fainter, until there’s nothing but static silence.

When she leaves the building fifteen minutes — and an unexpected call from home — later, all she’s in the mood for are hot dogs and her friends. She doesn’t know where Bobby has gone off to, but she doesn’t pay it much attention as she wraps herself into her hoodie.

The night air isn’t too chilly, but there’s something to it that brings goosebumps to her skin. She’s nauseous, and she doesn’t know whether it’s because she’s just got off the phone with her yelling mother, but she doesn’t care. They’re not going back home tonight anyway — little does she know that she won’t be going home for a completely different reason than just celebrating with her brother and the guys.

The man selling street dogs out of his car greets her with a smile before she walks past him to fix herself a quick dinner. She’ll never understand how they’re yet to catch some disease from the weird food they eat before gigs, but she won’t have much more time to wonder.

“The guys are inside,” he tells her when she hands him the price, and all she can do is thank him with a grin on her lips, her stomach closed into a knot, before making her way to the makeshift dining area.

She stops in the entryway and quickly glances around before she spots them on the couch. Luke and Alex seem to have fallen asleep, but Reggie’s staring back at her and she finds herself blushing.

“Won’t you finish your hot dog?” she asks as she walks up to them, a smile on her face that slowly leaves its place to a frown when the boy doesn’t answer, doesn’t react in any way.

It’s then that the nausea gets stronger, and somehow she’s not in the mood to eat anymore.

“Reg? Cat got your tongue?” She fails at that chuckle and when she’s close enough, she almost crouches forward to shake him by his shoulder. “Prank’s over, your staring is unsettling.”

His head falls backward, against the back of the dirty and tattered couch, and it’s then that her heart starts beating in her temples. She stares at him, frowning, her hot dog still in her right hand.

“Reg?”

Her gaze moves down to his chest and suddenly, the place’s silence becomes deafening. She hears her heartbeat — she feels it everywhere in her body — just as she hears her breathing almost scratch every time she exhales. Her subconscious is quicker at reacting: her hand lets go of her friend’s shoulder all of a sudden, and it truly does feel like the contact burned her palm in a sickening way, but it takes her a full minute for the conscious part of her brain to catch up.

His chest is not heaving.

She gasps, and her hot dog drops down onto Reggie’s knee first and then to the floor.

Frantically, her gaze swipes over Luke and Lex. She’s aware of everything and nothing at once. Her palms turn clammy; her breathing gets deeper, it almost hurts her lungs; and just as her eyes move from Luke to her brother, she knows she’s about to throw up. It’s cold — despite the place being sheltered, despite Lex’s too-big hoodie on her: goosebumps tug painfully at her skin. And when her wandering eyes stop on the person she loves most in the world, her knees threaten to give out and make her trip over Reggie’s extended leg.

“Lex?” but her voice is a whisper. Her chest hurts as she seems to move in slow motion; her head is empty and heavy at the same time and oh my God, please, just —

She doesn’t know how she’s managed to take those three steps to stand in front of her brother, and even twenty-five years later, that still feels like the hardest thing she’s ever had to do.

He seems fine. She looks at him and there’s nothing weird on his face; he’s stained his shirt, but that can be fixed. Reggie could lend him his flannel. Hell, he could wear one of their Sunset Curve t-shirts!

“Lex.”

She doesn’t know she’s falling until her knees crash onto the rough concrete of the floor.

His hand is still warm when she gets a hold of it.

And she can’t move. The nausea almost makes her head spin, and she feels… empty. It starts slowly. It’s a feeling as tiny as a pinhead at first, but it grows quickly, like a black hole that eats and swallows her whole, quicker and quicker the more the momentum picks up.

“C’mon, it’ll be September soon… You have a concert tonight.”

But he doesn’t answer. And the more she stares at him, the more that whisper in the back of her head grows in volume —

— Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. —

— until it echoes in her mind and her ears and —

“An ambulance is coming,” someone says — to her, to the three boys in front of her, she doesn’t know, it doesn’t matter, nothing does. “I’m sorry, if we had realized sooner —”

But she’s already turning her head to the side to throw up.

The strongest memories of that night are the goosebumps, the cold, the nausea. And then that extreme loneliness building up inside her, quickly growing like some kind of alien parasite, rooting her to the spot, freezing her mind in a loop of Lex Lex Lex that just goes on indefinitely.

And then the flashing lights of an ambulance and Bobby calling her name — Nance? Nance? Nan—

—nce?”

She whips around so quickly she almost loses her balance on the heels she’s wearing. No one has called her ‘Nance’ in forever, even Michael preferred ‘Nancy’, but coupled with that weird feeling that has been rocking her for a couple of weeks now, it truly does feel like suddenly being back in some familiar place.

It takes her a couple of seconds before her sight zeroes in on the Trevor Wilson.

“Nancy?” The smile on his lips is unsure as he makes his way up to her between rows of clothes. He hasn’t changed since the last time she’s seen him, but at the same time she stares at him like he’s grown ten heads; like her brain can barely comprehend what’s going on. “That really you?” He has colorful clothes in his arms, she notices as her brain struggles to keep on functioning smoothly.

“Hey.”

“It’s been, what? Ten years?” Bobby’s never been good at small talk, and she realizes now that Trevor hasn’t become much better, not even after the decade that has passed since the last time she’s seen him at a teacher-parent meeting. “You look well.”

“Thank you.” Her heart is in her throat — it feels like choking, like gasping for air she can’t get —, and for a moment she forgets all about having a teenage daughter she needs to help find a dress for her school ball. “You look well, too.” It’s lame, but she can’t even attempt a chit-chat with the only one of them that got away on his legs.

“How have you —” He sighs, and he probably catches up with what she’s thinking — the way her brain has stopped working, the way it must be back into that loop of loss first and drugs later, when they had turned their backs on each other. “How are you?”

“It’s been forty-two years of shit, Bobby,” she sighs. “But the kids make it good. I hope Carrie’s doing well. She was a good pupil.”

“I’m not…” I’m not Bobby, that’s what he’s about to say. I’m not Bobby anymore. I haven’t been Bobby in twenty-five years. Bobby’s dead.

But Bobby isn’t dead, he didn’t share his friends’ fate, so he shuts up. He still remembers the black eye she gave him the very day Trevor Wilson’s first song — Luke’s song — came out, and she reads it right on his face, in the way his expression changes and falls in defeat.

“I’m helping my daughter with her dress now. I should go.” The smile she gives him is tired and tense, and she doesn’t put much effort into coming off as a happy woman for him, not after the bad joke he pulled in the past. “It was good seeing you. I wish you well.”

And with that she turns around, swallows the lump in her throat and for a moment thinks back to Lex. Lex, and the fact that she didn’t get the chance to see him age into the man Bobby’s had the chance to become. To Luke, and the success he would have had with his talent. And then to Reggie, whose open eyes still haunt her to this day — and although she’s grateful for her children, she can’t help but wonder how things would have turned out if she and Reg would have had a chance.

“Mom? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.” Sarah is standing there, at the entrance of the changing rooms area, and although there’s her usual concerned frown on her face, she truly does look like a princess in that navy dress she didn’t want to try on.

Nancy chuckles — she wouldn’t have thought of those words, but boy, are they spot on! “Just someone I used to know. So, what do you think of that?” she asks, desperately trying to steer the conversation into another direction. “I wasn’t always a mom, I used to have good taste in outfits, too.”

Sarah laughs at her joke and she does, too. And for a moment, a split second, she sees her brother in the way her daughter laughs and looks away for a moment. But that memory is as short and quick as a flash, and she doesn’t have time to think about it for too long.

“Yeah, I know.” She’s almost on the verge of spilling the beans — that she and Jake have gone through her secret box with all her memories, but she catches her tongue just in time. There’s no need to upset her mother, not when she’s been in her head so much these past two weeks. “But I like it, and you could do my hair…”

An hour later, they’re walking back to the car, bags with food and anything Sarah might need for her ball in their hands.

Bobby — Trevor — is there, and Nancy holds his gaze for a few seconds as she walks by. She barely has the time to see Carrie’s head disappear into her father’s car before the door closes with a slam. They stare at each other, but it’s not Nancy and Trevor: it’s a pregnant Nance standing in front of a Bobby whose face is about to meet her left hook. It’s tense and silent, and there’s the same guilt in his eyes that he had back in 1998.

How did things go like that? She’s had twenty-five years to look for an answer to that nagging question, but she’s never found one — not in the three years she’s spent with her feet in two different worlds, and not even after the birth of Jake in ‘98.

“I was over at the Molinas’ to help Carlos with his homework yesterday,” Sarah says as she lays her new dress down onto the back seat of the car. “Did you know Julie’s started playing again?”

Nancy stares at her daughter for a long minute and the longer she stands there, as she finishes putting the groceries in the trunk of the car, the more that soft smile stretches on her lips. “Really?”

Sarah nods. “She apparently has a band of holograms or something now. Carlos doesn’t exactly know how that works, but says they’re cool.”

“Her mother would be so proud.” The engine roars to life and when she turns to check that nothing or nobody is behind them as she puts the car in reverse, she catches her daughter’s questioning expression. “She had a group as well.”

The Sunset Curve demo her kids still listen to starts playing then, and Nancy has to be careful not to jolt the car to a stop — she didn’t remember it still being in the CD player, she thought Jake had brought it to college when he had left after spring break — he has been contemplating making his friends listen to his mom’s friends’ songs for months, but she must have been mistaken.

The silence is heavy, almost tense. It has the weight of a being alive of its own life, pressing down on her shoulders and robbing her of her breath as she leaves the parking lot of the mall and she heads back home. It’s always a pang to the heart, every time the notes start playing and Luke gets ready to sing again. And although it hurts, although the tears are always there, ready to prickle her eyes, it’s a way to keep them alive. Twenty-five years after their deaths, and she’s still childishly hoping that playing their songs will miraculously bring them all back to life.

It’s only when the chorus sings Keep dreaming like we’ll live forever, But live it like it’s now or never — the same one Reggie had playfully dedicated to her that night — that Sarah clears her throat. “I didn’t know you knew Mrs Molina well.”

Nancy hums. “We met once, before…”

“Oh.” There’s no need for explanations, nor to wait for her mother to finish that sentence. “I didn’t know.”

“We never had the chance to get close,” she shrugs. “But I’m glad you’re going along well with her kids. How’s Carlos doing?”

Sarah laughs, and it’s in that moment that the sun starts shining again. That weird feeling of slowly-building wholeness filling her cup one drop at a time is still there, and somehow it’s still something she can’t explain — maybe the pieces of an unfinished puzzle going back to their place? or maybe just life finally starting to go in the right direction? — but it doesn’t feel as nagging with her daughter’s laughter ringing in the cabin of the car.

“He’s starting his career as a ghost hunter.”

“A ghost hunter?” A smirk tugs at her lips and it feels good, after years spent trying her hardest to do something that should have always been so natural.

“Yeah, his dad was taking pictures of the house when they were still considering selling it and one came out with three orbs. Carlos thinks it could be his mom with some friends, or just some ghosts in general, and he wanted my help to set his channel up since he knows I helped Jake and the guys with theirs.”

Nancy chuckles, and she feels light again after so long. The last time she’s felt like that was when the divorce papers had finally been finalized, probably. “So, are you? Helping him, I mean?”

“Hell yeah, I am, mom! That kid is the best kid I’ve ever babysat. He’s going through all the old stuff at his place to see if he can find anything that might help him find out whose ghost he’s dealing with.” She smiles brightly — and Nancy can’t help but mirror her expression when she sees it from the corner of her eye at a red light. “I think I’m —”

— going to sing for Jake’s band.

It’s a week after that afternoon in the car, and Nance is still thinking about the news Sarah has informed her of a few hours ago. Her daughter has been acting weird for a week now, and although she couldn’t pinpoint the cause at first — Sarah wouldn’t tell her —, she’s now starting to understand. Jake and his friends had a falling out with their singer Peter the day before a possibly important gig at Eats&Beats, the same one Julie and her hologram friends played at, and she’s probably been pondering her brother’s offer.

Still, it somewhat stings, for there have never been secrets between her and her girl. The pride bubbling up inside her is stronger than anything else, though, and she can’t help but smile.

It’s the first time she smiles at what had used to be her and her brother’s secret place at the beach. That alcove used to echo with the sound of their laughter a long time ago, but had quickly turned silent after that night at the Orpheum. It’s just the way things go sometimes, when you can’t make them go the way you want, when life’s outcomes are way out of your control.

It’s peaceful, and for the first time in painfully long years, she truly does feel at peace. It’s a weird, almost stressful feeling for someone who’s never exactly felt at peace in her life, but she’d like to think that this truly is the start of a new and happy chapter in her life.

Lex is with her, with his head resting heavily on her thigh, much like the day she found and rescued him — or, well, the day he found and rescued her. He’s always by her side, and somehow he knows when she needs him the most. It’s not exactly like having her brother with her but it’s… close.

“I wish you were here.” She never talks to her brother out loud, but somehow she feels the need to do just that now. The words leave her lips before she has the chance to stop them, and she finds that it doesn’t hurt as much as she had always thought it would. “The kids are following in on your footsteps more than they are mine.”

And it’s not a bad thing. At all. It’s a relief neither Jake nor Sarah have gone down the path Michael had started to take her along with him. And although Jake behind the drums is still a sight she won’t become fully used to all that quickly — she hasn’t managed to in twenty years —, it’s still comforting in a way. She watches him play with her brother’s only remaining pair of drumsticks and she feels at home.

“I’m so proud of them, and I like to think you’d be, too.” Then, she smiles again. “Sarah asked me if I believe in ghosts the other day. If I think people with unfinished business come back from the afterlife in an attempt to see it through. If I think you’d ever come back, maybe with the guys. And I…”

But her voice fails her. One of her hands comes down to caress Lex’s head while the other plays with a smooth piece of wood she’s found in the sand.

The truth is, she’s spent longer than she’d ever be comfortable admitting with her mind wondering about that same question, bouncing around like a pinball.

She doesn’t know the reason for Sarah’s weird behavior isn’t Jake and his friends asking her to join September Dream. Just as she could never imagine that last week, when Carlos Molina invited her daughter to his sister’s garage party, she saw three guys she’s only ever seen in her mother’s polaroids playing right in front of her like life has never stopped.

Feedback is always welcome if you want to drop old me a line 💛

Original video used for the gif: https://www.pexels.com/video/blurred-bokeh-video-855204/

TAGS (to be added to or to be removed from any list, shoot me an ask)

Everything: @idhrenniel @saibh29 @fuckthatfeeling @aya-fay @pebblesz892 @mblaqgi @becs-bunker

#julie and the phantoms #jatp #jatp imagine #jatp fanfic #jatp alex #jatp alex imagine #angelaiswriting #alex mercer #jatp alex mercer

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thebraingremlinsaremad · 3 years ago

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Daily Blog #15: August 22, 2021

Dollar Tree is honestly pretty fucking awesome 👌👌👌

I set my alarm for like 6:25 this morning, but it took 6 minutes for the "Horsin' Around" theme song instrumental to wake me up. I was pretty tired lol. I just dismissed it and went back to sleep.

I only went back to sleep because I knew I had another alarm set for 7:00. That got me up.

I should mention that this was still in the RV over an hour away from the house.

After I got up, I went to go get a shower, and did so successfully.

Unfortunately, I had forgotten my brush this time and had to do it afterwards after my hair had a bit of time to dry, which did make it a little more difficult lol.

I got dressed and grabbed my stuff, putting it into my car.

I made it a point to see and say "see you later" to my grandparents before I left for the flea market.

My dad insisted that I stayed to say goodbye to my mom, so I left.

I did NOT have cell service up there, as was mentioned in my previous 2 blogs of which I could only post today, so finding my way was a tiny bit difficult until I got some service to ask Google to take me to "...".

It worked and I got there.

On my drive, I listened to 1 by Simple Kid, a CD I had previously purchased at a Dollar Tree location.

I got a call from the guy at the flea market saying that I had some people there waiting for me. He asked how far away I was, to which I said "about 10 minutes." Ironically, that call made me miss my exit, as Google couldn't talk during the call, and added about 3 minutes to my arrival time lmao.

I did sell the Xbox that he said someone was interested in. I got $40 for it. I spent 27¢ on it. Pretty good return if you ask me.

I couldn't sell it with anything other than a power cord because the controller and AV cables I had been using to play it there were for my personal console. I'm just glad I can actually hook my Xbox up and stop having to drag them to the flea market along with a small library of games.

Not too long after I sold the Xbox, someone came in and asked if I wanted to see some electronics he had in his car. I went out with him. It was a pair of 3ft speakers and a Pioneer audio system with dual cassette decks (although neither of them works) and a 25 Disc CD-changer, as well as the standard AM/FM tuner. Additionally, there was a Fisher amplifier and AM/FM tuner as well as a Fisher Direct Drive turntable. He said he wanted $60 for em, but before that he casually, and probably accidentally, dropped that he was just gonna take em to the thrift store.

Big mistake.

I got em for $35 lmao. THERE GOES MOST OF MY PROFIT.

Oh well.

I tested everything. As I mentioned, the cassette decks don't work, but everything else does apart from the turntable needing a new stylus.

I posted some new photos of the shop to Facebook, and someone soon DMed me about a stereo system.

I priced everything, and it turns out I have about $300 worth of equipment from that deal, the Fisher amp and tuner being worth about $150.

The buyer will hopefully show up next weekend, for he wants to buy the Fisher stuff ($185 with the turntable), the 3ft speakers, an 8-track deck, and a Kenwood deck we've had for a week or two.

The speakers are listed for $50 (and are worth around $100-150), the Kenwood Deck for $50 as well, and the 8-track for $35. That makes it about $320 in equipment. Since he's buying so much, I'll knock it down to $270 and essentially give him the speakers or cassette deck for free lol.

Apart from that stuff, not much happened at the flea market. I sold some records, cassettes, CDs and I think 2 DVDs. One person bought a VHS tape? That money was the other guy's though. Oh well xD.

I can't say that I didn't miss my wonderful partner while on the trip. I actually brought along the stuffed animal they gave me (who's name is Greg) and snuggled with him both nights.

I was very happy to hear from them UwU.

They let me rant and I let them rant.

I honestly give them too much responsibility over me xD. I'm like, "Okay, I'm gonna do this. HOLD ME TO IT."

I know I can't hold myself to anything I personally say (this blog being the only exception apparently), but I listen to them pretty well I think 🤔. If they tell me, "No, you don't need that VCR," so long as it's not some weird specialty thing, like a worldwide VCR 🥵, I'll be like "Yeah, you rite bro."

I love you man xD. You control my craziness pretty well. I'm so thankful for you UwU.

#relationshipgoals

So part way through the flea market day, I went over to Dollar Tree to buy some snack, but ended up looking through the CDs to see if there was anything good. I took photos of about 18 CDs and flipped through them online for the remainder of the flea market day.

I deleted the photos of the ones I didn't want and kept those that I liked. Surprisingly, I ended up buying 13 CDs there, but not before dropping them on the floor like the dumbass I am.

Also, sorry for all the nerd shit I spilled on your lap earlier. No one cares about amps and tuners xD.

I'M LISTENING TO ONE OF THE DOLLAR TREE CDS RIGHT NOW THO.

I already transferred over to my online library on iBroadcast and put the disc into my CD changer, which is now holding 164 CDs.

Its max capacity is 300 discs 🥵

WHY AM I NERD

Oh well

I like being a nerd gurl

Also maybe a technosexual 👀

I get really excited over some electronics. Like. REALLY excited.

Some editing VCRs are like "Holy shit that is SEXY. Look at those goddamn VU meters 🥵. And hhhh there are like 7 inputs on this thing and individual controls for left and right audio gain, not to mention Hi-Fi S-VHS recording. Hhhhhhhhhhh please gimme 😭. Why are you so expensive?"

I uh, mean, uh, *cough* look, pretty lights.

Oh yeah, I was gonna say the album I was listening to xD. MAN I GOT SIDETRACKED.

It's 37 Everywhere by Punchline. Def give it a listen; it's pretty heccin good.

Another notable album I picked up was Page One by Steven Page. I very much like the first track, "A New Shore." It's quite catchy and he has a great voice imo.

Also at dollar tree, I bought a regular bag of Fieras and 2 bags of Fieras Sticks, which were marked down to 75¢/bag because they're expiring soon.

I honestly like the generic Dollar Tree version of Takis more than actual Takis. They're a lot more flavorful when it comes to the lime, but also hotter at the same time.

Don't get the hot nacho ones tho. Hot nacho? More like hot pile of shit.

HAH

Goteem.

They're not that good xD.

THE REGULAR ONES ARE FIRE THO

"How do you do fellow kids?"

I got home and started working on putting the CDs onto my computer, and then onto iBroadcast, but not without first adding The Music Man to my digital library, something I had neglected for a month or two. The CD had just been sitting there lol.

I also switched my digital file for "The Black Parade" to that of the uncensored CD, which I had purchased before I event started working over 2 months ago.

MAN I'M LAZY

I eventually get around to shit tho lol. I guess it's just a matter of priority.

What usually takes priority is digging through everything to find something that I forgot about but then remembered, making a mess in the process that I would then have to clean up, at least partially.

I think the album just ended. I've been writing for a while xD. I'ma start "I Made You Something" by The Island of the Misfit Toys.

I'll tell you where that album came from in a minute.

In the meantime, where was I?

I kinda lost my train of thought despite reading up to see where I was. Oh well. On I go.

I ate dinner and kept working on those CDs, eventually putting my clothes from the week into the washer.

I FORGOT TO PUT MY SHAPING UNDERWEAR IN. FUCKING HELL MAN.

I wanted to wash em for this week 😭

No tight pants for Leonna I guess qwq.

Meanwhile, the box of my CD album cases is overflowing. I need another box.

I keep all of the album artworks in a big CD folder. That's almost full.

I wanna fill my entire CD changer. That's one of my big goals in life. Idk why, but I just wanna legitimately fill the entire thing.

My clothes are in the dryer now. I don't think I have the time (or energy) to fold them tonight. I'll leave that for tomorrow morning before work.

And God. Fucking. Damnit. I start school again on Wednesday. NOT looking forward to that, and neither are my 2 coworkers. We already have low enough staff, but only the two of them working is gonna be a pain in the ass.

I'll still work Saturdays.

I need to contact my guidance counselor to get out of the gym class I signed up for. I scheduled this shit before I found out I was trans, and I don't wanna deal with the fucking locker room situation 🙄 I have far more important matters.

Okay so anyway, the album I'm listening to came from a cassette. I bought this cassette a few months ago at the flea market along with a few others. The reason I bought them? They were all newer cassette releases from the 2010's, and they're all actually pretty good music from very indie bands.

Currently getting mad at iBroadcast's compression algorithm. It's unnaturally fucking anything over -10db up. Oh well, there's not really anything I can do about it.

I have like 13GB of music on my phone btw. That's about 3.5k songs on 268 albums.

I'm kind of an audiophile, but I'm too cheap to pay for a lossless service. Oh well.

They do actually have a lossless service on iBroadcast, but once again, too cheap.

Someone just sent me a friend request who legitimately posted that BLM and the democratic party are hate groups.

BLOCK.

Goodbye ho.

I don't get that. They call the democratic party a hate group when they hate people like me, and I, being more of a democrat although not fully because the 2-party system is fucked, think nothing more of them than they're very wrong about certain things, especially, as shown, that black people, as well as asian, Indian, native, and people of all ethnicities and backgrounds, are not equal to white people.

Yeh.

Totally.

You go buddy.

Anyway, yeah, I can, and do, convert music and video from analog formats to digital files in order for me to archive and listen to whenever and wherever I please. I've actually made a bit of a business out of it, but I don't get too much work from it. At least I'm not overloading myself xD.

I honestly have so much more to say, but I should probably go to sleep soon.

A few final shoutouts to the following people and companies:

-Dollar Tree

-Steven Page

-Broken World Media

-The Island of Misfit Toys

-Simple Kid

-Punchline

-My incredible partner QwQ I love you so much. Thanks for being the best all the time. I hope I can give you the best life ever.

Anyway I suppose this is goodnight. Lmk if you want a full list of the CDs I bought today! I'll link that song by Steven Page here.

And here's a good song from Simple Kid

I really like music lol. Enjoy these pieces.

Anyway, goodnight lol.

Lots of love,

-Leonna.

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beecherdrysdale · 4 years ago

Note

Hiii how are you ? I fell down the stairs today and cried for a minute straight #hormones. Dw I have a high pain tolerance but I just started sobbing lol. It happens. LONG post ahead, I kinda went off hehe.

Anyways let’s get started!! Yes quinton gets to be upfront because he would probably feel so uncomfortable(no offence) with all the sexual tension going on there if dyl or jamie were in the front hehe. But yes they would be bitchy about who gets to sit upfront “ no Jamie it’s mine turn to sit with Brigid” “ no it’s my turn dylan you just sat with her” so brigid would get fed up and banishes them to the back hehe. Lmao Brigid can we listen to Katy perry now? The silence!! And then no can we listen to Lady Gaga?. Quinton trying not to lose it in the front seat. If I had to chose tho I would chose lady gaga:) wbu?

Get ready to be beat! Yes Ryan is absolutely not sitting upfront w me! We would be crazy and I wanna win so. Quinner is sitting up front w me but he decided to be .... and I’m banish him to the back. Braden is the most chill so he’s sitting upfront and giving me directions!! Haha dyl yelling at you to drive faster, but no I will beat both hehe;). Kesh who’s sitting up front w you? Would Kirby be handsy😏?. We would have to make so many stops lol. Like it’s just nostalgic for us, but new for you so it would be fun to make pit stops. and we would just be taking so many Instagram photos as a group and w our boys and together ! We love that ! “Wait wait wait Lexi pull over, I remember this place I wanna take photos” lol this is bad hehe.

Lmao yes, your hair would be so tangled!! They would be panicking a bit because they’re like omg she’s gonna be so mad.... honestly Ryan would just take the photo and then post it but then Dylan would repost it and then Jamie and then me lol. Honestly I kinda love when people just take videos of being in the car w like the scenery showing, but this would include us laughing and listening to music! I hope they makes sense. Hehe Ryan or Dylan would probably take photos of Braden, cozzy and devon sleeping and would post it. Back to the hair: hehe yes I can see you giving them a death glare when you realize and your getting mad and would hide. I’m just imagining this in my head, like me pulling over and you running out of the car and quinton and devon fixing your hair lol. Somebody would be filming this no doubt.

Music wise, yes I love blasting music and people looking but it’s kinda a flex when they see who we are with.... I like rap too! What song do u like Brigid?. Country will be played and 2000’s which is fun! I’m good with anything !. Kesh I love hype up songs as well and bass heavy songs because they sound good on speakers hehe. I’ve been into Rihanna for the past week and I was working out to her music- where have you been, rude boy, bitch better have my money lol, pon de replay hit different but also S&M for some sexiness. Lmao sorry I’m just listing Rihanna songs that I love atm. What are your fav songs right now? Awww dancing on the side of the road is so soft, but everybody needs a dance break! Cozzy, Devon and Braden are some how still passed out, I admire that. Late night drives🥺 are we spicing this up 😏.

Hehe you and devon are swamped w emails and more and you’re like kirby can you please go w them we need somebody to watch them. Als yes quinton go take those hot photos . I admire Dylan’s sleep schedule, like good job on catching up on sleep. Kirbys just trying to sweet talk you and kiss you so that you wouldn’t be mad. All in all, kesh is just shocked like how is that possible? Lmao Brigid, Ryan and I w the shopping cart just stocking up on popcorn, chips m&ms, I love that. Jamie and Dylan are racing each other to see who can grab the most cereal and made sure that they are getting the correct ones for Brigid. Honestly all the boys are just confused about how grocery shopping works hehe. The crackhead energy. Kirby is panicking. We literally bought out all the snacks. Beaver tails are delish and I know where you can get them so 😃. I want to stuff Quinner’s mouth w beaver tails cuz that’s cute:) yes healthy food is a must, like fruits, veggies, rice cakes hehe. But remember that we are going to workout on this vacay hehe. After the grocery store we would go into the mall or something and the boys would just be wanting to buy video games 😂 and ps5’s. Also kesh I love how some of the boys are just trying on clothes. Why do I get a feeling that one of the boys would just be filming all of this?

The chirping will happen nonstop, I’m sorry it’s just to much inspo. Aww yes they are blushing real hard, cuz they like you soooo much. But Brigid is enjoying touching them so no prob.

The boat is a must and it is happening!! Hehe yes the tubing would be chaotic, everybody is just trying to get each other to fall in 😂. Ryan thinks that he’s getting away w pushing me in but SIKE you are coming with me. So then we’re just fighting in the water. Quinner would be like where did they go?. Hehe brigid gets so wrapped up in laughing at us that Braden pushes her in haha. Yes we all look super hot in our bikinis, and the boys are speechless! Like dyl and Jamie are just like wow, she looks so amazing! And Kirby is so in love w you, he’s like I’m the luckiest man ever. I’m still gonna make sure that I wear a non tie bikini so that it doesn’t untie, like one time I was in the boat and my friend pulled on the string and the entire thing untied and I just jumped in the water to retie. That is not happening again lol. Quinner would be mad hehe. Idk I’m seeing Brigid in a black bikini or maybe a dark blue one? It would match your eyes?. Kesh in a red one or yellow and me maybe in a green one or just black lol. Hehe yes kesh and Kirby are just doing cute couple stuff and keeping an eye out but we are to chaotic to maintain .

Hehe yes ig we are clingy but cute drunks but I get kinda wild when I drink so the body shots would def happen. It would be hot tbh. Yes somebody do body shots w Brigid. Dylan would step up first, and he would be enjoying it and then Jamie sees and is like no it’s my turn so he does it and in the end it’s just a competition and you all get drunk hehe. Kesh and Kirby are the parents of the clubbing trip no offence.. like wanna go help cozzy and devon? Hehe lol I could just be dancing w Brigid and the boys would get jealous and one of them would just come up and be like excuse may I cut in, and i would be like tf but then they give me a glare and I go dance sexy with Quinner or crazy w Ryan. Kesh and Kirby should dance at least at one point during this time. We all look hot btw :)

Hehe yay I can be friends w Dylan :) I want that friendship to happen tbh. but he’s getting jealous but I’m like let them have their moment, so I distract him a bit w talking.

Girls day is a must! I wanna hang out w you so badly. Some cute clothing will be bought! Ooo yes us modelling and them being in awe. Oo kesh a different modelling show w the boys 😏. The boys are getting handsy esp Dylan and Jamie hehe. And they are super protective so no other guy at the club gets any ideas. After tho it’s biker shorts, sweat pants and hoodies type of vacay lol .

Thank you for reading ! Hope you enjoy mes chéries💗🌸

yes ok so loooong post ahead people

oof that tough falling down the stairs lol. honestly i’m not doing to great right now bc i did not do as well as i wanted at my meet, so now i’m in a funky headspace. but hopefully answering this ask will help, and i can get my shit together before my events tomorrow (which are actually my important events)

haha yes dyl and jamie would just be arguing like “no it’s my turn to sit in front, no you just did it’s my turn” lmao. and then whenever they’re sitting in the front there’s just too much tension for quinton to deal with lol. so then i feel bad for quinton so i banish the other guys to the back and let him sit in the front hehe. and i’m just ignoring the other guys and refuse to play either of their music and i let quinton pick. and if we purposely pick songs we know the other guys hate, that’s a secret we’ll never tell. oof between those two idk, probably lady gaga, but again we’re not playing music jamie and dyl like lol.

haha no, you get ready to get beat. i’m like an INSANE driver when i want to be. and ofc dylan is just yelling at me “faster brigid, hurry tf up! we have to beat everyone” so then we’re just zooming. but then obviously you’re doing your best to keep up so you have to banish ryan to the back so he doesn’t distract you. and then you let quinner sit up front until he starts getting too handsy bc you’re like no i won’t let myself get distracted. so then braden’s up front giving directions and trying to get you to go faster, but i’m still winning lol. and then kesh is also still in the race, and she and kirby are just chilling in the front bc everyone else’s asleep. ooooh yes making lots of pit stops bc nostalgia for all of you canadians. and then me and kesh are just seeing all the sights for the first time. oooooh yes all the cute insta pics we could take

ooooh yes people taking vids of like the music and scenery would be so cute to post as stories. and ofc all of us laughing and stuff, that would be so cute. anyways yes, my hair would be a hugeeee knot. and i would just give them the death glare, like you’ve got to be fucking kidding me. and jamie and dyl just try to hide from me, like they run away as soon as the car is stopped. and then devon and quinton fix it for me, god bless their souls. like i’m sorry, bc even i wouldn’t want to deal with that. ik how my hair can get. and this would be allllll over everyone’s stories ofc lmao

ok yessss our music game is on point tbh. ok so for rap, the artists i’m really into rn are juice wrld (rip i actually loved him sm), kid laroi (who learned from juice, so he sounds a lot like him), trippie redd, mgk, and nf. also iann dior, but he’s not so much rap as r&b. honestly any of their songs slap. and then ofc country and early 2000′s. and any music with good bass, but i think a lot of the artists i said have that. ooooh yes getting out to have a dance party on the side of the road. hehe it could be really crazy. or alternatively, it could be when you’re out on a late night drive and there’s a slow song on the radio and you guys just get out and slow dance to the song together no this is not at all inspired by the song slow dance in a parking lot anyways yes late night drives are so cute. but then of course they can get spicy 😏 in case you couldn’t tell i’m always down for it to get spicy lmao

haha yes quinton and dylan c. honestly have their priorities straight. and devon and kesh are swamped with director duties, so that leaves kirby in charge. so then ofc when we get home kirbs tries to sweet talk kesh, but she’s just not having it. she’s just like how? anywaysssss at the store we have the most duo of ryan and lexi, plus now i’m added into the mix, and it’s just a mess. like we buy a shit ton of popcorn, pretzels, chips, candy, etc. and we literally bought half the store’s supply of everything lmao. and then dyl and jamie are just in the cereal aisle trying to grab as much cereal as they can. whichever one of them gets we chocolate mini wheats i will love forever. and then kirby’s getting healthy food bc yk he’s trying to be responsible. so then kesh has to explain that his whole job was to make sure everyone else was getting healthy food, not just get it himself lmao. but honestly none of the guys actually know what they’re doing lmao. and then we obviously have to get beaver tails to so lexi and quinner can have a moment, but idk where you get those lol. but yes we will be working out a ton on this vacay, so it’s ok that we have sm junk food lol. and then after we’re done with food, the guys decide to wander the mall and then they just buy a ton of video game and then they’re trying on clothes lol. and yes obvi they’re videoing the whole thing bc they’re secretly middle school girls who want to have a blog lmao

hehe yes me getting chirped the whole trip, esp the boat day. and the guys are getting so embarrassed about it, but i just don’t care lmao. and then the whole boat day is so chaotic obvi. when ryan pushes lexi in, quinner will come back and just be confusion lmao. like where’s lexi. and then i’m dying laughing and then braden sneaks over and pushes me in lol. but yes we all look amazing in our bikinis. like kirby is just so in love with kesh and thinks she looks gorgeous 😍 and then dyl and jamie are just like damn you look hot about me lol bc we’re horny ones on this trip apparently. and i’ll wear a tie-back jolyn bc they actually stay on lol. and then ofc quinner thinks lexi looks super good, but then she tells the story about the last time she wore a tie-back and he’s just like why didn’t you do it again? lmao. ooooh for bikinis i like a black top with a print on the bottoms idk why. and then you guys in whichever color you want. also yes kesh and kirby are trying to be responsible during this, but it’s just not working lol

haha yep i can definitely see you and quinner being wild drunks together (it’s more like when the alcohol is wearing off that you guys get really clingy) so obvi you guys start doing body shots. and ofc it turns into a jamie/dyl competition bc what doesn’t? and then me and lexi are just dancing sexy together, yk like two drunk girls do, and then dyl or jamie tries to come over and cut in and at first you won’t let them but then you finally give in and go dance with quinner instead. and then yeah, no offense kesh and kirby, but y’all are the parents here. like making sure we don’t do anything too too dumb lmao. and also being a wingman for some of the other guys. but you guys def dance together at least a little bit too. and obvi we all look hot

yessss i feel like you and dyl could be super chaotic friends too. so the two of you are just chilling together and then you have to distract him lol, but then after that you have a different chaotic friend for when ryan’s not available lmao

yes yes yes, girl’s day would be so fun. and then we get a ton of cute new clothes so obvi we have to model them. and they’re all just in awe, like those are our girls. but then we also do private modeling shows 😏 and we all know how that ends. and then when we’re in our clubbing clothes obvi they are getting super protective over us bc we look so hot and we’re their girls, so no other guys can get ideas. but then once they’re drunk they’re handsy as hell lol. but then the rest of the vacay ends ups spent in hoodies, sweats, and athletic shorts lol. and obvi some of the guys’ clothes

ughhhh i love this, the whole thing was amazing. 10/10

#ask answered #anon answered #skating anon

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readbythestarlight · 4 years ago

Text

c2e110

Did they lose all their hacker abilities lol

"Oh my GameCube" ajslakskjsla

"1.21 gigaflops"

The drama!

"Oh last hack! For justice!"

This is so hacking stupid xD

"Oh who? Oh jeeze. Those are some pretty doohickeys you’ve got on your arm there."

"Holy shift!"

I love those stupid ads

[[MORE]]

I just remembered what happened at the end of last week and now I’m suffering

Mmm I don’t like the idea that he’s an "ongoing" experiment vs an old failed one

Uh... someone hug him??

"I am like them. I... was like them. I...am like them..." Oh baby.

I forgot he hadn’t shared with everyone yet and now it hurts

C: "I liked being seen as I should have been. Or could have been."

Thank you, Jester! Where’s the group hug, someone initiate a group hug.

Also I just realized Veth won’t be there at dinner?? Right?

B: "no one blames you."

C: "heh... one person does."

Oh wait good it’s tomorrow so Veth will be able to be there

My god, they are exactly the chaotic aunts and uncles we all knew they’d be

Word of recall sounds VERY handy

We’re not going to make it to dinner and before break and I’m going to have to be in suspense until I can finish it tomorrow

New book harness!

lmao Jester this outfit is elaborate

LOL Jester you’re gonna break the shopkeeper

This does sound really cute for Veth

Awww she’s doing a little Keyleth imitation

Everyone: elaborate outfits

Fjord: coat plz

Give them Nonagon as a name, Beau

It’s wild that there’s NOTHING?

Oh good break just in time for me to sleep

I’m back and I’m still not ready

So like obviously attacking Trent here in own dojo would be dumb

Not that I think this is where that’s headed but hey

I haaaate Trent he’s such a creep

LOL picking on Wulf

Caduceus lol

He’s such a creep making his creepy power moves

Mind ya damn business Ickythong

Don’t compare yourself to them, you FREAK

W: "you, what are you?"

Cad: "Vegetarian, so I hope the meal reflects that."

Catch me crack whipping Wulf/Cad

Ooo they trying to get the inside deets

Don’t tell them NOTHIN’

"You might not inquire." YAS Jester

He’s a creeeeep and I haaaate him

PLEASE succeed that deception check

It did sound like he said "tissue"

He did NOT know what he’s getting into with the M9

Oh shit is this the one Essek killed after Caleb talked to her

It is oh boy

Caleb isn’t being especially subtle, not that I can blame him

How... diplomatic of him. But still def suggesting war.

Cad and Jester calling him on his shit I am LIVING for it

lmao Beau stealing the thunder of Astrid’s showing off

Fuck off Astrid

"I have good friends. Good people." Buuuurn

The way Trent keeps "tripping up" over Caleb’s name

And also like how he’s like low key acting like he gets any credit for who Caleb is now (which, he does I guess, but not the kind of credit anyone should want)

Beau and Cad calling Trent on his shit still and I’m still living for it

"You have the eventual makings of an assembly member yourself" bitch he’ll tear your assembly to shreds

"To truly grow you needed to be broken, and left to build yourself"

Oh god wait what

Somebody fucking STAB him

They fucking stole and then returned his memory didn’t they, they did it all

STAB

HIM

NOW

WITH A RED HOT POKER

I haaaate him

What does the symbol mean

What does it meannnnnn

Somehow this is even worse than anything I imagined. That they "broke" him on purpose.

I can’t wait for Caleb to tear him to fucking SHREDS

"I did out of love" IM WITH JESTER

DONT you being his parents into this like they would have wanted this you sick fucking fuck

"It is the greater man who puts the needs of others over himself Bren"

I fucking hate

Trent saying that Astrid and Wulf don’t have what it takes to basically be Trent 2.0 but that Caleb does will backfire on him, since Astrid WANTS to be Trent 2.0

Some interesting vibes off Astrid...

Caleb’s response should be "you haven’t made me what I am. They ARE who have made me who I am. I was not what I am now before I met them."

Steal all of Trent’s glory

I hope he dies painfully.

Godddddd

I’m seething irl you guys

"Whatever it takes to keep the people of the Empire safe" your families and those children ARE the people of the Empire!! Who the fuck are you protecting??

YES Caleb, thank you.

Also don’t use that "the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few" thing

"When talent rises from nothing, then nothing truly is lost."

"What if the thing to do now is to supplant you. To pluck you up like a weed and do better."

Fucking. He probably means it which means there won’t be any satisfaction in tearing him to shreds

Oh...

That’s interesting but it also sounds like a trap

Like they’re trying to draw Caleb back by saying "you could fix it by taking over"

Trent’s gonna hurt Astrid huh

I hate this

"Don’t disappoint me" let’s find a way to disappoint him

I hate him

Fjord just dropping the beacon question like a bomb

"You’ve only seen the one. That is what we have."

Okay okay he said HAVE though.

That’s not an answer.

Like Matt says he’s telling the truth, but it’s like when Pinocchio in Shrek avoids lying by obfuscating things and being indirect.

How can they have only just begun research on something he claims they don’t still have

They need to ask some more very specific questions, like "how many beacons do you have RIGHT NOW", and "how many beacons have you found, in total, ever".

Why would you mention the Eyes of Nine to him

"He has a hobby. He’s a sculptor." That’s a dig

"Didn’t need those ten years" ouch...

Hey guys please give Caleb a group hug after this. Don’t leave him alone for a while.

Cad: "I think you are one of the most powerful mages that I’ve ever been in the company of. For this I would offer a gift. I think it’s been a long time since someone point out that you’re a fool. Pain doesn’t make people. Love makes people.......I wish for you, in the future, to find someone who will mourn you when you’re gone.

Respectfully."

BOOM

Like I couldn’t type fast enough for this whole thing but that was AMAZING

Fucking LOVE Caduceus nothing but respect for MY firbolg cleric

Jester buddying up and being sweet to Astrid is... good. I don’t like her but I feel like maybe being kind to her is a good way to go. And Wulf too. Maybe they can be saved after all.

I was joking and I’m still joking but I really do want Cad and Wulf to like... hang out

That hurt a lot but went better than I anticipated overall

Marisha’s notes are amazing, like the fact that she remembers this shit is amazing

Oooo Cree is gone that’s interesting

I have a bad feeling

Bad feel bad feel bad feel

“I know a nice place” and he finds the shittiest inn xD

He’s gonna do some fancy spell I assume

Jester is so cute trying to make him feel good about it, probably assuming it’s a nostalgia thing lol

Where are they gooooooooing Maaaaaaatt I wanna knoooooowwww

Love you too!

#cr spoilers #critical role #critical role spoilers

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prettyboybarzal · 5 years ago

Text

tattoos together (3) // tyler seguin

(PART ONE) (PART TWO)

pairing: tyler seguin x reader

summary: being in dallas with tyler feels exactly right, but it’s not reality and both of you know it. with your trip coming to an end in just a few short days, you and tyler struggle to come to terms with whatever it is between you.

(2016 dallas stars and 2/3 of tyler’s dogs, apologies if some details aren’t accurate about the stars season. i was too lazy to do my research.)

word count: 9k+ (she a lil thicc)

author’s note: you know the drill... like, reblog, shoot me a message. ((hopefully part 4 will be up next sunday, but first i gotta write it)) xoxo love y’all!!!!

warnings: more alcohol, angst (???), def cursing

The rest of your time at Casa de Seguin, as Tyler keeps calling it, is packed full of things to do. He seems to have a plan for every second of every day. While you appreciate the thoughtfulness, it feels like the two of you haven’t been alone and lazy together like the old days and you miss it.

Tyler misses it, too, but the idea of the two of you being alone again brings him to places he knows he can’t go with you.

Three days before your flight, Tyler is making breakfast with the dogs at his feet. When you enter the kitchen, he smiles over at you before stating, “I haven’t planned anything for today. I was thinking maybe we could go to the Rangers game tonight?”

You don’t respond off the bat, leaning against the counter. The lack of a response has him glancing over with a raised eyebrow.

“Ty, we haven’t stopped moving for days,” you state. “And, don’t get me wrong, I love how much we’ve done. I feel like I know Dallas and Texas like the back of my hand. However, we’re constantly surrounded by people and fans and friends of yours, especially Jamie. I just want one day with just you, and the boys.”

You and the boys. Tyler loves the sound of that coming out of your mouth. The dogs do, too. They turn their heads at the inflection of your voice when you referenced them and Cash comes trotting over to plop at your feet. Tyler glances over with a smile and nods.

“Alright, how about this?” he asks. He turns the heat on the stove off and moves the frying pan over to let the eggs simmer. “We go to the dog park with them and then we can come back and just hang out back. I’ll grill up some burgers for lunch or something.”

“That sounds perfect,” you admit. Tyler smiles. “Need help with breakfast?”

“Can you put on a pot of coffee?”

You nod, moving to grab two mugs from his cabinet before brewing it. The two of you work in silence, backs to each other, but you keep stealing glances at him as he puts together your plates and throws some bread in the toaster.

You pour the coffee into each mug, asking Tyler if he still takes his black (the answer is yes), and hand his mug to him. He shoos you away to the dining table so that he can present the food to you in a dramatic fashion.

He glides into the room with a plate in each hand and does a little spin before putting the plates down on the table. The dogs are waiting eagerly for something to drop, but Tyler pulls the spin move off elegantly. He sits across from you and announces in an atrocious French accent, “Bon appetite.”

Marshall and Cash lose their minds when Tyler pulls their leashes from the closet. Marshall hears it from another room and comes running at the sound, practically knocking you on your ass in the process. Tyler attaches each leash to their collars and hands Cash’s over to you.

When you get to the park it’s almost empty, save for a family or two. You walk through the gates and unleash the boys who immediately start chasing each other around the open space.

Tyler nods towards a bench and sits down, tugging on your hand to pull you down beside him. You lean forward with your elbows on your thighs and rest your head in your hand, watching the dogs play. Tyler leans back against the back of the bench. He reaches out and rubs a hand on your back before pulling it away to pick up a ball by his feet. He whistles once and calls, “Cash, Marshall!”

The dogs come running, tripping over each other as they approach. Tyler smiles and throws the ball, sending them the opposite direction. You giggle as Cash gets to it first and comes running back, Marshall chasing him the entire way.

Cash drops the ball at your feet, so you grab it before Marshall can snatch it up and toss it again.

The whole day is so domestic. Making breakfast together, bringing the dogs to the dog park, having barbeque plans for lunch. It’s so domestic that it makes your cheeks burn with a blush you haven’t felt in a long time.

Tyler feels it, too.

Back at home, Tyler is quick to change for the pool. It’s hot and by the time you’ve gotten back to the house Tyler is all sweaty from wrestling the dogs. You change into your suit in the guest room where you’ve been staying the entire trip. The suit is a new bikini and before heading out you make sure to lather the tattoo with sunscreen.

Tyler’s mouth goes dry when you exit the back door of his house and step out in your tiny, bright red bikini. He’s thankful for the dogs and his sunglasses because the combination of the two things make it seem like he isn’t staring at you, but trust… He most certainly is.

“Want a beer?”

“Yeah, sure,” he answers. You turn and walk back into the house, amazingly not feeling the weight of his gaze on you despite the fact that he can’t stop staring at your ass.

You return with two beers in your hands and sit at the edge of the pool with your feet in. You hand Tyler his bottle with a soft smile as Cash settles beside you on the brick. Tyler taps the neck of your bottle with his.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Tyler says. He lifts the bottle to his lips and takes a swig. “Otherwise I’d have to leave the pool myself to get the beers.”

You splash water at him with a kick of the foot, but he dodges it.

You stand again, retrieving your towel from a lounge chair to spread it out beside the pool. Tyler watches you situate yourself, smiling to himself at the sight. He sees the tattoo from a far, but he wishes he could get a better look.

Cash comes over to curl up against your legs and soak up the sun with you. You smile down at the dog as Tyler chuckles at the scene playing out in front of him.

“I think Cash is in love with you,” he says. “I can’t say I blame him.”

About an hour and a few beers later, Tyler reaches out of the water with his cold and soaking hands to grab your ankles. He tugs on them, attempting to make you come into the water with him. You kick his hand away, sending him an irritated face. He pouts at you and begs, “Come in please.”

“Why?” you ask tersely. “I’m tanning.”

“You’ve been tanning for hours now,” he complains. You roll your eyes, sitting up so that you’re on your elbows to get a better look at him. “Just come in.”

“The only way you’re getting me to come in is if you make me,” you inform him. What a stupid thing to say to Tyler Seguin. He smiles at the challenge and climbs out of the pool, towering over you so that his body blocks the sun. You immediately realize where you fucked up and murmur, “Why did I say that?”

Without another word, Tyler reaches down and grabs both your arms until you’re standing in front of him. He wraps his arms around your waist, picks you up off the ground, and tosses you into the pool. He jumps in a second after to join you.

When you pop up above the surface, your hair is matted over your face. You reach up to wipe it away while you catch your breath, but Tyler’s hand is already moving to do it for you. He pulls the hair out of your face, revealing the glare you reserved just for him. He chuckles and wraps an arm around your waist to keep you close to him.

“I don’t know why I always challenge you like you won’t follow through,” you admit, throwing your arms around his shoulders. Tyler laughs. You wrap your legs around his waist and the laughter stops almost immediately as it gets caught in his throat. You reach one hand up to run your fingers through his hair. He drops his head to your shoulder to give you better access.

“Would you hate it if I was planning to have a party tomorrow night?” Tyler asks. His face is tilted so that his lips ghost the skin on your neck as he speaks. You lean your head on his, trying to ignore the goosebumps on your arms, trying to blame them on the breeze.

“For me?”

“Yeah, like a goodbye and I’ll see you soon party,” he states. He pulls away to look up at you. “I’ll totally cancel it if you don’t want it to happen.”

“No, that’s okay,” you answer. “It’ll be nice to go out with a bang.”

Another hum rumbles in his chest. He stands in the shallow end, you wrapped around him, for a few more silent minutes. Your fingers run through his hair, stopping at the nape of his neck to twirl the longer pieces around your index finger. The hand not wrapped around your body reaches up to your ribs. Tyler looks at his fingers as he brushes them over your tattoo and then he lets out a hefty sigh.

“I keep forgetting that this isn’t my real life,” he mumbles. Your fingers stop moving in his hair. He shifts slightly and places a kiss to your collarbone before he pulls his arms away and you drop your legs from his waist. “Want another beer?”

Your response comes out in the form of a whisper, “That’d be great.”

Tyler gets out of the pool and grabs a towel to dry himself before heading back up to the house for the beers. The dogs follow closely behind leaving nothing to distract you from your thoughts and Tyler’s words keep playing on repeat in your head.

Once the sun sets, you’re all showered and ready for dinner. Tyler’s busy with the dogs and getting his own self comfortable that you have a few minutes to yourself. You’re sitting at the end of the bed in the guest room in a pair of joggers and one of Tyler’s sweatshirts when Dan texts to see if you’re around to talk. You call him right away, realizing that the two of you hadn’t spoken on the phone since your first night in Dallas.

“Hey, babe,” he greets. “I miss you.”

“I miss you, too,” you murmur. You lay back and stare at the ceiling with the phone pressed to your ear. “How are you?”

“I’m fine,” he answers. “A little swamped at work. I wish I was coming home to you.”

“I’ll be home in two days!”

“I can’t wait.”

There’s a moment of silence that makes your stomach upset. You know the next time you are home with Dan is going to be nothing like the last times you’ve been at home with him. For one, California is calling. And, on the other hand, you’re so absolutely fucking in love with Tyler that it makes you a little bit sick.

Dan’s voice brings you back down to Earth as he asks, “What are you doing now?”

“Well, I just showered,” you explain. “Now I’m waiting for dinner to get here.”

“What’s the plan for dinner?”

“We ordered Chinese,” you answer. “Gonna go sit out by the fire pit and eat.”

“Sounds perfect,” he muses. When you don’t respond, he gets restless. “Are you okay? You don’t sound like yourself.”

You don’t mean for it to come out without a second thought, but your conscience feels way too guilty to keep this charade up for three more days. You blurt out, “I was offered a job at a publishing house in California before I left for Dallas. I accepted it.”

“I’m happy for you, YN,” he says. Although those words come out of his mouth, you can tell he doesn’t mean it. He’s confused by what this means. “Why didn’t you tell me? I didn’t even know you were applying out there.”

“I wasn’t planning on it,” you answer. “It’s just that I’ve been coming up empty in Boston and New York and I went to that conference last month where they said California is a hot spot right now for people looking to go into publishing.”

“So, you’re moving to California?”

“Yes,” you answer, running a hand over your face in frustration. “The job starts on July 15th.”

“That’s in like three weeks,” Dan says. “That’s so soon.”

“I know.”

“I wish you told me.” It’s so silent on his end of the phone that you can hear Tyler talking to the dogs across the house. You stand up and start to pace the room. “What does this even mean for us?”

“Um, I don’t think I’m interested in doing long-distance,” you tell him. He sighs. “I really am sorry. I shouldn’t be doing this over the phone.”

“I mean, I definitely would’ve preferred a face-to-face conversation,” he admits. “But I did ask why you didn’t sound like yourself.”

“Dan, I’m sorry,” you murmur. He lets out a soft chuckle. “I wanted to wait until I got home, but I feel guilty doing that.”

“Hey, listen, I understand.”

“What?”

“I get it,” he repeats. “I know that it’s been a bitch for you to find a job. I’m just happy you found one.”

“Thank you.”

“I’m assuming we’re going to break up?” he asks. “Long distance doesn’t sound appealing to me either.”

“Yeah, I think that would be best for both of us,” you state. He hums in agreement. You let out a long sigh. “Dan, I didn’t want to do it like this.”

“I know that,” he says. “It’s just the way some things come up. In the moment.”

“Why are you so good?”

“Well, if we’re being honest,” he starts. “I think we both knew we weren’t in it for the long run. Don’t get me wrong, I really like you. You’re beautiful and funny and smart, but you’ve never been in this for real. I know that.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing,” he presses. “We had fun, but it wasn’t meant to last. We were just trying to force it to work.” When you fail to answer him once more, Dan sighs and says, “Listen, let me know when you’re back. I’ll come by and pick up the stuff I left.”

“Okay, I’ll text you,” you respond. “Again, I’m sorry that I’m doing this over the phone.”

“It’s alright,” he states. “Text me when you want me to swing by. Enjoy the rest of your trip.”

Usually, you’d cry. You’d feel guilty for ending a relationship that never had any blow up. But, this break up feels like a weight off your shoulders. You lay down in the bed for a while, taking some time to yourself to just think, until Tyler calls for you to join him for dinner.

No more than two hours later, you’re sitting on one end of the sectional in Tyler’s living room watching Titanic. It’s been on for thirty minutes and you haven’t been paying attention one bit. Tyler’s sitting a few cushions away, his legs stretched out towards you so that his socked feet are inches from your thigh.

Dinner is long gone, empty cartons in the garbage, and the fire in the yard is out. Now, it’s just the two of you with Marshall curled up against Tyler and Cash sitting beside your feet.

“Why are you off right now?” Tyler asks, nudging your thigh with his foot. “Where’s your head at?”

“A million and one places,” you answer. Tyler grabs the remote and pauses the television. His abrupt movement alerts the dogs. He smirks at them, patting Marshall’s head to get him to put his head back down and turns his attention back to you.

“Explain.”

“I’ve just been thinking about what you said in the pool,” you elaborate. “About how this isn’t your real life, or mine.” Tyler sits up, but doesn’t say a word. He didn’t realize the statement would even resonate with you like it clearly has. “I just don’t want to go back to reality.”

“How come?”

“Reality means packing up my entire apartment, apartment hunting in California, starting a new job, being away from my family and my friends for a long time,” you list off. Tyler scratches the side of his head. “Besides, reality doesn’t have Marshall, or Cash, or you.”

You don’t hear it, but Tyler’s breath hitches in his throat.

“It’s not a big deal,” you continue. “Once I get back into the swing of things I’ll be fine.”

“You know you always have me around,” he states. “I might be a few states away, but I am always one call or text away.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Is that all?”

You debate telling him about your phone call with Dan, but decide against it. Instead, you nod ‘yes’ before crawling down to his side of the couch and laying your head on his chest. Tyler shifts, wrapping an arm around your back to keep you close to him. Then, he grabs the remote and turns the movie back on.

You don’t start paying attention, but having your face in his chest keeps him from noticing. His fingers trace soothing patterns along your back and after a little while your eyes start fluttering shut. It doesn’t take long for your breathing to slow and you fall asleep against Tyler.

“YN,” he whispers not long after. “You fell asleep.”

“Hi,” you grumble. He chuckles as you lift your head with your hair matted to your cheek. “Morning.”

“Ready for bed?” he asks. You nod, crawling off his body to stand. He shuts the TV off and fixes the throw pillows that had been tossed to the side hours before. Before heading down the hall, he whistles for the dogs to follow him. They do, and so do you.

You walk a few steps behind him toward the guest room, but stop at the door as Tyler continues walking.

“Can we have a sleepover tonight?” you ask from the threshold of your room. Tyler spins on his heel. “It’s okay if not.”

“You can totally come sleepover,” he answers. “But does that mean I have to sleep with a shirt on tonight?”

You roll your eyes at him.

Tyler stays true to himself and remains shirtless for bed. When you walk into his room after brushing your teeth, he’s leaning up against the headboard and tinkering away with his phone. He glances up at you, taking in the sight of you in his baggy sweatshirt and your grey joggers. You look so cozy that it makes his heart beat a little bit faster.

“Mom says hi,” he says. You smile. “She wants to know why you haven’t visited her with me.”

“Tell Mom that I say hi,” you counter. “And that I am a stressed out post-grad who struggles to visit her own family and they live twenty minutes away.”

Tyler laughs, typing out exactly what you said, and sending it. But, he also texts her: Plus, she just got a big girl job in LA. Busy times for Ms. YLN… I’m excited for her.

Tyler locks his phone and places it down on the bed side table, then reaches for yours and does the same. You slide into bed beside him, leaving a good chunk of space between your bodies. The dogs take your entrance into bed their cue to join. They fill up the space between you and Tyler.

“How am I supposed to cuddle you now?” Tyler asks. His lips are in a pout. He sits up again and shoos Marshall and Cash down the bed to your feet, then reaches out to pull you in. You scooch over without protesting and drop your head to his bare chest. His hand falls into your hair, fingers brushing through the knots gathered at the nape of your neck.

“Thank you for having me here.”

“Thank you for coming.”

It’s almost been exactly three years since the last time you shared a bed. It’s amazing how time has changed so many things, but hasn’t changed how easy this feels.

Tyler’s phone buzzes twenty minutes later after you’ve already fallen asleep. He reaches over without moving too much to avoid disturbing you. There’s an unread text from his mom: She’s making her way closer to you, huh? That’s good.

You wake up before Tyler the next morning. It seems like neither of you moved all night. Tyler’s still on his back, one arm around your body to keep you curled against him. It’s a struggle to leave the bed without waking him, but you manage to do it anyway.

You eat a bowl of cereal with Cash at your feet, then brew coffee to bring to Tyler in bed. The moment you walk in, the smell stirs his senses. He lifts his head, peaking an eye open to see you place the mug on his bed side table.

“I just ate some cereal,” you tell him. “I’m going to head out to the pool. Meet me out there?”

“Thanks,” he mumbles. He sits up, swinging his legs off the side of the bed, and picks up the coffee as you head out of the room to change into your suit. Cash follows you the entire way, plopping himself on your bed as you throw on the one piece you’d brought in addition to the bikini, not wanting to waste your day worrying about your tattoo.

When you leave the room, with towel in hand, Cash trots over to follow you. You pass the kitchen on the way out and see Tyler standing at the stove. His back is to you, toned and strong and begging to be touched by you. Okay, maybe not, but your hands want to touch it badly. Tyler hears you as you tug the sliding door open and glances over with a fond smile at the way Cash is still following you around.

Outside, you lay your towel on the bit of grass a few feet from the pool and collapse onto it. The sun is bright and warm against your skin and Cash is soft against your legs.

Tyler joins you about fifteen minutes later in a bathing suit with a towel of his own. Instead of jumping right into the pool with Marshall, he comes over and lays his towel down next to you. He plops himself down, inches from your face and smiles widely at you.

“Hi.”

“Hey.”

Tyler situates himself to lay on his stomach, like you, and keeps his face turned toward yours. His eyes scan down your body, taking in the black bathing suit that cuts low on your back. He looks back up, not so subtly licking his lips, before saying, “I like this suit.”

Around lunch, Tyler’s been in the pool so long that his fingers are starting to prune. He pulls himself out long enough to make sandwiches for lunch. You follow him into the kitchen to help.

The two of you put together an assembly line of sorts with bread, cold cuts, cheeses, and condiments all laid out on the counter. Tyler starts, handing you a plate so you can create a sandwich beside him. You bump his hip with your own and he smiles down at you as he spreads mustard across his bread. He bumps you back with a little too much force, sending you stumbling to the right. Tyler barks out a laugh and grabs you by the waist to keep you upright, again with too much force.

“Are you trying to kill me?” you ask as you hit his chest with a thud. “You forget how much larger you are then me.”

Tyler looks down at you against his chest, takes one glance at how large his hand looks against your bare back, and grins. He leans his face a bit closer and states, “Trust me, I don’t forget.”

He releases you from his grip and continues down the line without another word.

Jamie shows up around dinner time with steaks to grill up. He’s dressed in a button up and some khaki shorts with boat shoes, hair done. You’re still out back in your bathing suits when he arrives. You two didn’t even know he was on the way to the house, or that he arrived. He just walks out the back door and hollers at you, “What the hell are you two still doing out here? I’ve been calling you both for the past thirty minutes.”

A look of concern passes over Tyler’s face. He asks, “How’d you get in?”

“I still have your spare.”

“I need that back!” Tyler exclaims. “I’ve been looking for it forever.”

“It’s on the counter,” Jamie says. He holds up the steaks in his hand and smiles. “Ready for dinner?”

“I’m starving,” you answer. You climb out of the pool, patting Cash on the head as you make your way up to the deck. You pass Jamie on the way into the house. “I saw some French fries in your freezer, so I’ll go make those.”

Tyler stays out at the grill with Jamie, despite how many times Jamie yells at him to, “Put a fucking shirt on, dude. I don’t need you breathing on me while you’re shirtless and wet!”

Cash and Marshall tangle themselves up at your feet while you cook, the promise of French fries far too good for them to pass up. And, yes, you do give them one or two, even though Tyler keeps fat shaming Cash.

You toss Cash a fry and smile when he hops up to catch it. Crouching down to pat him on the head, you say, “You’re beautiful. Don’t let Daddy tell you otherwise.”

“Daddy, huh?” Tyler’s voice makes you jump. You assumed he was still at the grill because you never even heard the sliding glass door open. There’s a shit eating grin on his face as he leans up against the counter, arms crossed, and stares at you. “I never thought I’d get the chance to hear you call me that.”

“Don’t get used to it,” you murmur. You stand upright, rolling your eyes at that smirk on his face before turning back to finish dumping the fries in a bowl. Tyler steps over to you and reaches up to the cabinet above your head. His hand drops to your back, right above the place where your suit starts, just above your ass.

He’s so close you can smell the chlorine on his skin, you can feel the body heat coming off him and his freshly tanned skin. He grabs a serving plate and pulls it down, tapping your head lightly with it on the way down. Then, his hand falls away and he’s walking back out of the room.

After dinner, Tyler and Jamie run out to grab alcohol for the night. People aren’t planning to come until 10 p.m., so you have a lot of time to relax and get ready. As soon as the boys leave to run their last-minute errands, you hop in the shower and admire the fresh tan you’ve acquired over the past two days on the way out.

For the next thirty minutes, you stare at the mass of clothes piled onto the guest bed. You hadn’t realized how much you packed for this trip until this moment. You look through them, pulling out a pair of funky light wash jeans and a few cropped tops. You shove the rest of the clothes back into your suitcase with no plans to fold them. That’ll be a Boston issue.

You put the pants on and stand in the mirror to check your butt out. Then, you rotate each shirt to see which one you like the best. You’ve grown slightly obsessed with your new tattoo, so you find yourself gravitating to the shirts that will show it off. That’s why you end up settling on a long sleeve, black shirt that stops just a few inches below your boobs.

You sit on the floor in front of the floor length mirror in the guest room and put your make-up on, cursing the low lighting the entire time. You don’t spend too much time on it tonight, just highlighter, mascara, a light eye shadow, and some lip gloss.

The boys come home and you can hear Tyler’s shower starting, followed by his awful shower singing voice.

You stand and check yourself out in the mirror once more. Your tattoo is completely visible and looks beautiful. You trace a finger along the lines with a satisfied smile.

You find Jamie out in the living room. He’s watching a baseball game on mute and turns when he hears your bare feet against the hardwood floor. He checks your outfit out and lets out a low whistle before complimenting, “You look good, dude.”

“Why, thank you!”

“And that tattoo!” he exclaims once he sees it. He stands up and walks around the couch, crouching a little once he gets closer to you to take a better look. “Seguin did good.”

“I agree.”

“Are you bummed you’re leaving tomorrow?” Jamie asks as he steps back and sits on the arm of the sofa, folding his hands in his lap.

“Yeah, it sucks,” you admit. “But, I think it’s good. I was getting way too comfortable here.”

“What’s so bad about that?”

“This isn’t where my life is,” you answer. “It’s just a vacation that feels really, really normal.”

“You should just move here.”

“I can’t spend my whole life following Tyler around.”

“Why not?”

You open your mouth to respond, but nothing comes out. Quite frankly, it’s a good question, but you ignore it regardless and retreat to the kitchen with a roll of your eyes.

Tyler suggested making a jungle juice type of punch for the party and, sure enough, he followed through with the alcohol and the fruits to make it. He pulled out a punch bowl for you, too, so you start making it to the sounds of the now unmuted Rangers game.

When Tyler finally comes out of his room, he’s dressed in a tight black t-shirt and a pair of black jeans that make you a little light headed. He doesn’t look in your direction at first, the Rangers game capturing his attention the moment he steps into the room.

“Good game?” he asks. He sits beside Jamie and pulls his shoes on, then leans forward to continue watching. There’s another few seconds of silence. “Where’s YN?”

“Right here, dumbass,” you call out. Tyler looks over at you. You’re still not facing him, having only glanced over at him to see him enter the room. He hops off the couch and sidles up beside you, one arm wrapping around your shoulder to watch you stir some liquor into the bowl. His cologne floats to your nose. “You smell nice.”

“Thank you,” he says. He plants a kiss to your right temple and then drops his arm to grab beer from the fridge. He places one beside you, passing you on the way over to Jamie with a soft touch to your hip.

He can’t stop looking over at you. One second he’s completely zoned into the game and the next he’s turning his head to look at you again. Jamie catches on almost immediately and attempts to ignore it. But, after the fifth time Tyler glances over, Jamie smacks a pillow into Tyler’s chest and knocks the wind out of his lungs.

“What the fuck?” Tyler yelps. He yanks the pillow from Jamie and smacks him back.

“Ladies!” you exclaim. They look up at you with boyish smirks. “At least take your clothes off before having a pillow fight.”

“Don’t objectify me,” Tyler warns. Jamie snickers, mumbling under his breath, “You’d love it if she objectified you.”

Before either you or Tyler can respond, the doorbell is ringing and Cash and Marshall are running to it. Thus, the wave of partygoers makes their way into the house. You don’t know a single person in the crowd other than Jamie and Tyler, but everyone seems nice enough. There are a few guys, teammates you assume, that make a point to introduce themselves.

“Tyler always talks about you,” one of them, who you’re almost certain is named John, notes. “Sometimes it feels like the best thing that happened to him in Boston wasn’t the Stanley Cup, it was you.”

That’s not the only comment like that, but you try not to dwell on the others longer than necessary. These aren’t feelings you want to feel right now, not when your flight is a mere 18 hours away.

It doesn’t take long for the house to fill up and you soon find that it’s packed from wall to wall. The influx of guests has separated you from the two boys you feel most comfortable with and you’re desperate to find at least one of them. People are out by the pool, crowded around a folding table in the living room, sitting around the island in the kitchen. Everywhere you go you find people, but you can’t find the party host.

“Hey,” Jamie calls out to you. He’s sitting on the counter, a girl you’ve never met before between his legs. “You look lost.”

“Where’s Tyler?”

“Out back, maybe?” Jamie answers. He grits his teeth in a silent apology. “Do you want me to come look for him with you?”

“No,” you state after noticing his arm snake around the girl’s waist. You smile at them. “I’ll find him.”

You step out to the yard and find Tyler sitting at the table by the pool with a group of guys that had come in with your new friend, John. One of them taps his arm and nods up to you. Tyler looks over and a grin spreads across his face. He motions for you to come over to him and scoots his chair back from the table as you approach.

“Where’ve you been?”

You step up to the table, lean against the back of Tyler’s chair, and answer with a laugh, “Looking for you.”

“Everyone, this is YN.”

“Oh, we know,” one of the guys speaks up. He stands and announces that he’s off to get another drink, earning a murmur of agreement amongst the other men who get up to follow him. “Nice meeting you, YN. See you two inside.”

Once they’re on the way to the house, Tyler reaches up and tugs on your hand. You let him guide you to stand in front of him. You situate yourself between his knees, reaching up to cup both of his cheeks in your hands. He leans into your palm, staring up at you with his puppy dog eyes, and says, “Hi.”

“Hey,” you retort. He reaches up and grips your hips, pulling you into his lap. You wrap your arms around his shoulders in response, melting into the way one of his hands slides up your thigh and the other settles against your lower back. “When you said you were throwing a party, I didn’t expect this.”

“Too much?”

“No,” you answer. “I just didn’t think you had so many friends.” Tyler throws his head back in laughter and you smile at the reaction adoringly. You run one of your hands through his hair and tell him, “I like John.”

“Klingberg?”

“Yeah, he’s nice,” you state. Tyler chuckles softly. “Told me that people wouldn’t even know you won the Stanley Cup in Boston because all you talk about is me.”

“He said that?” Tyler asks, jaw slightly ajar. You nod. He drops his forehead to your shoulder with a loud groan. “Why would he say that? They love chirping me.”

“I’ll have you know that I’m very flattered,” you tell him. “I like to think that my friendship is a little more valuable to you than a large, silver trophy that too many mouths have touched.”

“I mean,” he murmurs. “Both are pretty fucking great.” Tyler leans back and stares at you as you watch the dogs chase each other in the grass. His fingers trail up and down your forearm, giving you goosebumps that he notices right away. “When am I going to see you again?”

You look back at him, tilting your head as you think about the answer. You state, “I’m not really sure.”

“I hate that answer.”

“Well, I need to get settled in Cali,” you answer. His eyes study your face as you talk, falling to your lips more than any other feature. “And you’re going to Canada after I leave to have some family time. Then, you’re going to be back here for the season.”

“And I have a feeling my California road trip isn’t until like halfway through the season,” he grunts. “Maybe I can come around the holidays? Or you can visit for Thanksgiving or something?”

“We’ll figure it out,” you promise. He nods. “We always do.”

Tyler squeezes your thigh lightly and, in response, you pinch the skin at the nape of his neck playfully. It feels so peaceful out in the backyard that it’s easy to forget the party inside. Once again, you’re wrapped up in your own little world with him. He runs his fingers along the back of your top, then down your spine. He looks down at your outfit again and then looks up at your eyes with a smile and says, “You look really good.”

“Tyler!” a shrill voice calls from the deck. Tyler almost winces when it shatters the moment between the two of you. “Come inside! We’re playing Thunderstruck!”

“Coming!” he responds before dropping his head against your shoulder again with a sigh. The hand that has been resting on your lower back trails up to the nape of your neck, scratching the back of your head lightly before dropping again. He taps your thigh to get you to stand and then takes your hand in his on the way back up to the house.

Thunderstruck did its job and, after it was over, everyone was on their way to lowered inhibitions and stupidity. Soon after, Tyler and Jamie were ripping shots with their teammates. They even managed to talk you into a few. Tyler’s fingers lingered a little too long on your back at the top of your jeans, but he never made it known that he knew what he was doing. He’s just drunk, touchy Tyler.

More people show up, this time a group of girls dressed like they’re going to a club. They’re beautiful and flock over to the boys as soon as they enter. They embrace all the guys like they’re old friends. It feels odd to be looking in at a moment like this. It’s a look at Tyler’s real life, the people he spends most of his time with nowadays.

Tyler gives a quick introduction to the girls for you and they’re friendly enough, but you can tell they’re wondering who you are and why you’re here. Then, one of them wraps her hand around Tyler’s elbow and tugs him away. He sends you a quick glance before going with her willingly to the corner of the kitchen.

“That’s Kelsie,” Jamie informs you. “They sleep together, occasionally.”

“I think I could’ve figured that out on my own,” you grunt. Jamie chuckles. “She’s pretty.”

“Yeah, but she’s kind of a bitch,” he murmurs. You smack him on the stomach. “I’m sorry, but it’s true.”

You take one last fleeting glance at the two of them in the corner. Tyler’s hand rests against the counter beside her hip and they’re both leaning into each other, smiling as they talk about whatever it is they could possibly be talking about. She giggles, tapping his arm lightly.

“Do you want to play beer pong?” you ask Jamie. He nods with a knowing smile and leads you out to the living room.

You’re bad at beer pong. It’s a known fact. Yet, Jamie carries the team enough for you to run the table for three or four games. Each time you finish a drink, John Klingberg goes to grab another for you. You’re steady on your feet, but you know that you’re drunker than you feel. Eventually, you and Jamie lose the spot at the table when two of his teammates beat you.

Jamie gives you a tight squeeze after you shake hands with the boys on the other end for playing a good game. Then, you step to the side and watch.

Tyler’s in the room now, but he’s sitting at the recliner on the other side. Kelsie’s still with him, sitting on the couch closest to the chair. He’s telling some elaborate story, you can tell by the way his hands are moving as he speak, and she’s giggling along with him. It makes you a little sick, sort of mad, but what are you going to do?

You think back to Dan and how easy it was to just break up with him because you knew Tyler was in the other room. Every relationship you’ve had since that kiss has meant nothing to you. You’ve been trying to date all these guys just to feel something and, yet, it hasn’t happened.

“Can I tell you something?” you ask Jamie. Your words come out a little slurred and you make a mental note to mix in a water after you have this conversation with Jamie. He furrows his eyebrows in response and nods. “I broke up with Dan yesterday.”

“What?” he asks. His eyebrows shoot up at your admission, but he leans in to have you repeat it because he’s almost certain there’s no way you just said what you said to him.

“I broke up with Dan,” you repeat. Jamie’s hands shoot out to grab you by the hips and shake you. You slap his chest lightly.

“Have you told Tyler?”

“No.”

“Why the fuck not?”

“I didn’t want the rest of my trip to be all about the break up,” you tell him. Jamie rolls his eyes so dramatically that you’re convinced if you hit him in the back of the head they could get stuck like that.

“If you think for a second that Tyler would want to spend another minute talking about Dan, you’re out of your mind,” Jamie states. It’s your turn to roll your eyes. “I’m serious.”

“It’s so stupid,” you murmur. “I’m not telling him now. He’s with that girl.”

“He’s with that girl because he thinks you’re still with Dan.”

“Stop,” you grumble. Jamie grabs your hand and yanks you down the hallway to the guest room. He pushes you in and shuts the door behind him. “Why are we in here?”

“Because I need to talk some sense into your drunk ass.”

“I don’t want to hear it.”

“He’s in love with you,” Jamie declares. “The kid’s been in love with you for years and I think you’ve been in love with him just the same. This is the chance to figure it out.”

“I’m moving to California.”

“So?”

“I’m not doing long-distance,” you state. Jamie run a hand through his hair, face red in frustration.

“You two already do long-distance,” he argues. You shake your head. He’s right and you know it. You literally said it to Tyler the other day as a joke. “I have spent the last three years listening to him pine after you. Every single girl he’s ever been with, even if it’s only for a night, is compared to you. I’ve been a third wheel for far too long just to make sure that he doesn’t fuck up the way that he did on the Fourth of July in 2013.”

“He didn’t fuck up.”

“Well, he’s spent the better part of three years thinking that kissing you was a mistake,” Jamie says. “You’ve never talked about it with him and, although I can see the way you look at him, Tyler is way too dense to see how crazy you are about him.” He takes a breath and then says, “If nothing else, at least tell him it wasn’t a mistake. Tell him that there are feelings there for him, however small they may be. He deserves to know that it’s not a lost cause.”

You stare at Jamie, dumbfounded. He stares back, waiting for a response. After a minute of silence, you sigh and tell him, “It’s bad timing, Jamie. Tyler deserves someone to come home to and that’s not going to happen with me now, maybe not ever. Our timing has never been right, and it’s not right now. I don’t want to jump the gun and try to make this happen when I know I can’t put my all into it like I would want to.”

Jamie huffs, tossing his head back like a frustrated toddler. A groan escapes his lips just before he returns his attention to you. He shakes his head and says, “Fine. If you’re not going to talk about your feelings for him to him, then at least tell him you broke up with Dan. He is your best friend after all.”

Before you can respond, he turns to the door and reaches out for the handle. He looks back once more, glancing at the clock on the bedside table. It reads 11:30 p.m.

“You have until midnight,” he says. “And if you don’t tell him by then, I’m taking it into my hands.”

You’re way too drunk, wayyyy too drunk. You’ve lost Tyler again, as well as Jamie, so you’re in the kitchen with a glass of water hoping that it’ll sober you up enough to get through the night. You’re having a stare down with the clock on Tyler’s stove. It’s five minutes from midnight and there’s no shot you’re finding him before Jamie breaks the news.

Tyler is sitting out back in a lounge chair on the deck with Kelsie by his feet. She’s rubbing her hand against his shins, listening to Tyler’s conversation with a friend. Tyler checks his phone, wondering where you’ve been and why you haven’t come looking for him. He glances over at Kelsie with an uneasy sigh.

Moments later, the door slides open and Jamie’s on the other side. He lets out a breath when he sees Tyler. Tyler looks up at him and sits up straight, swinging his feet off the lounge chair and away from Kelsie’s hand.

“I’ve been looking for you,” Jamie says as he steps out onto the deck. “Have you talked to YN?”

“No,” Tyler answers. He gets to his feet immediately, feeling a panic set in. “Where is she? Is she okay?”

“She broke up with Dan yesterday,” Jamie tells him. Tyler’s eyes widen. “She just told me.”

Tyler brushes past Jamie and storms into the house to look for you. No sign of you in the living room or down the hallway to his room, so he continues into the kitchen and finds you talking to John. Tyler approaches, grabbing your wrist to pull you away from his teammate without an apology. You stumble forward into his chest. He wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you closer, bringing his lips to your ear to ask, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

You look up at him, eyes wide, and he returns the same gaze. His hold so many questions. You sigh, running a hand up his chest to his shoulder to push away from him lightly.

“Can we talk about this later?”

“I just don’t understand why you told Jamie, but not me.”

“Later.”

Tyler’s shoulders drop and he releases you from his arms. He takes one last look at you. His face is riddled with anger, frustration, hope. He’s never felt like this before, like he has no control over a situation. And this situation, with you, is one he’s never been able to control.

Fortunately for impatient Tyler, people start clearing out about half an hour after he confronts you. He’s been doing his best to steer clear of you because, honestly, he didn’t think he could talk to you without bringing the conversation up again.

Jamie and the boys are the last to leave. They step out onto the porch with Tyler as they walk out to their Ubers, but Jamie stays a moment longer. He wraps his arms around you and squeezes.

“I’m sorry I had to tell him,” he mumbles into your hair. “I needed him to know.”

“It’s okay,” you state. “Hey, maybe I’ll be thanking you.”

“Maybe,” Jamie repeats. He steps back, smoothing a hand over your hair. “Good luck on the move and the new job. I’m excited to see the place whenever we come visit.”

“I’ll see you soon.”

“Yeah, you will,” he says with a nod. He plants a kiss on your forehead, gives your hand one last squeeze, and then steps out to the porch, passing Tyler on the way. They exchange a quick goodbye, saying something about seeing each other tomorrow, and then Tyler steps inside and closes the door.

After he locks it, Tyler turns around and looks at you. He opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. He throws his arms up in defeat and then laces a hand through his hair. You cross your arms against your chest and bite your lip before blurting out, “I’m sorry.”

“When did you break up with him?”

“Before dinner yesterday,” you answer. “He called and everything just came out. About my job, about my move, everything.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want the last 48 hours of my trip to revolve around it.”

“Never in a million years would it revolve around that,” Tyler states. “I have never wanted to talk about your relationships or your boyfriends. I don’t like to hear about that part of your life.”

“Should we clean up?” Tyler’s jaw drops at the question. He just sort of admitted to his feelings that are still very much there and you ask to clean up? “We need to clean up because we’re not going to bed with the house looking like this. I’ll answer all your questions. We will talk. But, first, I need to clean some of this mess.”

“You drive me crazy,” he mumbles. He walks past you into the kitchen and mumbles as he grabs some cleaning supplies, “In more ways than one.”

Tyler takes the living room, you take the kitchen, and you work in complete silence. You take a bit longer than him, scrubbing the surfaces of his counter to get the stickiness off it. He steps into the kitchen and watches you for a moment before asking, “Need help?”

“I’m almost done,” you answer. You wipe a few more times as he approaches. He sits down at one of the stools and drops his chin into his hand to watch you. “Are you done?”

“Yeah, I just threw stuff in a garbage bag.”

You hum in response, wiping a towel across the counter to dry it. Then, you take a step back to look at the entire counter. It’s completely cleared and washed down. Tyler stands, trailing a finger across the surface with a smile.

“All clean,” he notes. “Can we talk now?”

“Can we brush our teeth first?” you ask. He rolls his eyes. “Please.”

You’re stalling. He knows it. But, he also doesn’t mind.

You follow him into his bedroom where you left you pajamas earlier in the day. Tyler pulls his clothing off shamelessly on the other side of the room and slips on a pair of sweatpants before leaving to brush his teeth. You change as soon as he leaves the room, back into his t-shirt and your sweats.

You enter the bathroom where Tyler is standing in the mirror with his toothbrush in his mouth. He hands your toothbrush over to you with the tube of toothpaste and smiles. He spits moments after you start brushing and washes his mouth out with some water. Instead of leaving the room, he sits against the counter and waits for you to finish.

You spit a minute later, washing your mouth like he just had. You wipe the corners of your mouth with a paper towel, then look over at him. The frustration and confusion displayed in his eyes from before has melted away to the look you always get from him. Adoration.

He doesn’t move, doesn’t reach over to take your hand or pull you into a hug. He stays complete still, his eyes the only part of him that is moving and, even then, they stay on your face. So, you move. You step forward, between his legs, and drop your head to his shoulder. His hands slide up your sides and around your back, pulling you into his chest.

Another few minutes are spent like that until one of Tyler’s hands moves to your chin. He picks your head up and his lips part with a sigh. He leans in, the side of his nose bumping with yours, and then he closes the gap with his lips.

It’s the same type of kiss as the one from 2013, but this time when he pulls away neither of you stop another kiss from happening. His lips ghost over yours before he leans back in again. Your fingers find the curls at the nape of his neck and stay there, playing with the loose strands as you wait for the next kiss.

The second one is more passionate and Tyler can’t get you close enough. His hand wraps around the nape of you neck, the other keeping you steady at your lower back. Tyler swipes his tongue along your bottom lip and your lips part in response.

Tyler’s arms wrap completely around your waist. He pushes off the counter, keeping you close to him and lifts you off the ground. You wrap your legs around him with your hands laced in his hair, gripping at the roots. He carries you to his room and shoos the dogs off the bed before placing you down on the mattress.

He’s hovering over you moments later and your hands have a mind of their own, traveling over his shoulders and his biceps, back to his cheeks. He pulls his lips away from yours long enough to kiss your jaw and your neck. His hands trail beneath your shirt, pushing it up to reveal your stomach.

There’s no thinking involved, just his mind on overdrive. He inches down your body and presses his lips against your stomach, kissing to the waistband of your joggers and earning a gasp from your lips. He smiles against your skin.

Your fingers lace through his hair as he ghosts his lips over your skin. He brings his lips to your ribs and kisses the tattoo. Then, he comes back up to kiss your lips again. He knows he needs to slow it down, but he doesn’t want to.

After a few more kisses, he drops to your side, nestling his face in your neck after placing one last lingering kiss against your skin. He sighs, “This wasn’t how I wanted this conversation to go.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, I kissed you,” he says. “It’s on me.”

“It’s okay,” you say again. There’s a heavy silence that settles between the two of you. Tyler presses a kiss against your throat and then lifts his head to support it in his hand. You look at him as you play with his hair, admiring his face. “I don’t think I’ve ever been kissed like that.”

“That’s the only way you should ever be kissed,” Tyler states. He leans down and kisses you again, short and sweet. He’s trying to keep himself from letting this get too far. He drops his head into your neck again and asks, “Can you feel my heartbeat? It’s pounding.”

“Mine too,” you respond. You reach up and run a hand over your face. “God, this is so stupid.”

“What do you mean?” he asks, lifting his head to get a better look at you.

“Our timing is such shit,” you elaborate. “I’m leaving tomorrow.”

“I know that,” Tyler says. “But that doesn’t matter. Right?” You don’t respond, but he sees the look on your face and knows immediately where this conversation is going. He knows you too well to not realize he’s about to be shot down by the only girl he’s ever loved like this. He shakes his head and says, “You know what? Don’t answer that. We can have that conversation tomorrow. Just let me have this for one night.”

Tyler lifts your hand to his lips and flips it to place a kiss on the stars on your skin.

#tyler seguin #tyler seguin x reader #tyler seguin story #tyler seguin fic #tyler seguin imagine #dallas stars imagine #hockey imagine

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