#maybe it could have made a bigger impact if read when I was younger
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I’ve been reading/watching Game of Thrones, and as a exceptionally well crafted as it is and how much I respect the writing of the books
I still can’t say it’s story’s message is ground breaking.
Again, it’s marvelously crafted, it’s intricate and beautiful in its details
But at the end of the day, what it says is “war is ugly. It isn’t a glorious affair, or a source of pride”
And that can only be a groundbreaking statement, or a shattering revelation to men who see war as nothing but entrainment. And I doubt they caught on to the message, if I’m honest
#loli speaks#I have so many feelings abt this series#maybe it could have made a bigger impact if read when I was younger#but even then since it’s not completed the message it sends of ‘the only way to survive this world is through violence’ isn’t one Im fond of#I don’t think that’s the ultimate message#but since it’s not completed you only see the first statement (the problem) not really the solution
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📏 The Only Tall Maknae | Wonyoung
Request: hii can i request an izone wonyoung jealous cuddles scenario with shorter fem!reader? thank uu Plot: Wonyong and the small idol Fem!Reader are in a relationship. During MAMA, Wonyoung gets jealous of her girlfriend. Words: 2,661 Genre: fluff Notes: tried to write it in a way that was closer to the thoughtless attitude of teenagers inexperienced in having a relationship as idols. there are spaces for prequels or part two, maybe. if you want, send me a plot and i will write more from this universe! hope you like it! have a nice week!
Wonyoung was happy to be at MAMA again. What made her even happier, in addition to performing and receiving all the love from Wizones, was that you were there, with her. Not exactly with her, since the location of the tables was made so that her group and yours were somewhat distant, but you both were there, giving sneaky glances at each other and dancing excitedly during more animated performances by groups you liked. You had to control yourselves, trying to be discreet, even though almost all the idols in your circle of friends already knew your closeness was something more. There were cameras there and they weren't kind at all.
You met through friends and have been dating for almost a year. Staying with her took away all your tiredness, reinvigorated your energies and left you with a happiness never felt before. She was the most beautiful and adorable girl in the world. And you were lucky to be her girlfriend. Very lucky.
Your group had made the second comeback in a year and, for the first time, your schedules were proximate. You were doing your best and she was doing her best, and you were able to meet in the meantime.
You just didn't expect to be nominated for Best New Female Artist, but Wonyoung was rooting for you, and when it came time to announce the winning group, you focused on her again and sighed.
"You are just a silly in love.", Soojin's voice sounded low in your ear, clearly mocking your "heart eyes" towards Wonyoung.
You felt your cheeks getting hot. The pros and cons of being a maknae... even though you were spoiled in many moments, your group really liked to make jokes about how you lost the bossy pose when you were with your girlfriend. And also the difference between your height and hers. It was extremely evident! But you loved it, after all, you could hide your face on her neck while you hugged.
"I'm not silly!", you said, smiling.
You turned your face to the stage, where the MC's were about to read the name of the award-winning female group.
Your eyes met Wonyoung's for a moment, looking for strength in case your group didn't win, and you gave her a bigger smile, getting back the most beautiful smile in the world.
Until they announced the name of your group.
There was a round of applause and you were a little lost, in shock, looking at your group mates for answers. Did you imagine things or did you really win? Your expression was so shocked that, at the same time, several fans were already turning into a meme on the social media. Feeling goosebumps come and go through your entire body and a light tug from Soeun on your arm, you got up and went from your table to the stage.
After that, everything went very fast. The leader, Soojin, said gratitude words to the fans, the staffs, everyone who supported the group, promises to continue working hard to deliver a good message through music, etc...
Wonyoung was very proud of you and, as your group came down from the stage and went to a part on the side of it for pictures, Yujin made a joke that she couldn't understand, but it was about the two of you. She looked at Eunbi as if she was seeking approval to come to you, but Eunbi was in a conversation with Nako about the award.
"It was pretty obvious that they were going to win, they are the best!", Yena exclaimed, when a new presentation started.
"You guys make a couple of very powerful maknaes, despite the height difference!", Chaewon whispered, from Wonyoung's left side, making her smile.
A few minutes went by and Wonyoung wanted to be able to go directly to you to congratulate you, even if not in the warm way she would do backstage, with a very tight hug and soft kisses on your lips, calling you "my love". Looking for you at your table, Wonyoung frowned. Your whole group was there, even the prize was there with them, but where were you? Were you at the bathroom?
"Where...", Wonyoung's question died in it's beginning. A few tables on the left, there were you. Holding another girl's hands. And that was enough for Wonyoung to feel her cheeks flush with jealousy and her heart sinking into her chest.
"I can't wait to take several selfies with it! It's so beautiful!", whispered Yein beside you, thinking about the award that was in Soojin's hands.
You nodded as you went up the stairs, until you felt a hand on your shoulder. Turning aroung, shoulders and a smile that formed an enlarged heart were the first things that took over your vision, indicating that the person who called you was tall. You focused your gaze on the face, raising your head, and realized that the owner of the smile was Yeeun, as known as J, a member of StayC. And your friend and classmate.
"Hey!", she greeted you, still smiling, and held your hands. "You rocked up there! I only got time to listen to your group's album yesterday, but it's really good! Congratulations on the award!"
"Oh, thank you so much!", you came a little closer to her to allow the girls to go up the narrow stairs. "I'm in love with your album too. ASAP always manages to make me very happy, even on days when my mood is not... good."
You were not praising each other for no reason, you had known each other long enough to not need formal praises.
"I know how hard you and your group worked for it and it was really deserved.", she had a caring glow in her eyes. "I know I haven't been on this idol journey for a long time but if you need anything, I'm here. I know there may be some difficulties but we will get through them together!"
"You can count on me too, Yeeun. This is not easy at all, but we are managing to achieve our dream almost together! Can you believe it?", you said, smiling excitedly.
Until you felt the lighting of the place get a little darker.
Yeeun's eyes landed on a spot above your head. You turned around to see the reason why there was a shadow on you, and there she was. Your girlfriend.
Yeeun greeted Wonyoung, bowing, while she was standing there, beautiful and in that black outfit full of sparkles that left you mesmerized since the beginning of her presentation.
"Hello, bab-sun-babe-nim!", you stuttered, impacted by the beauty of your girlfriend.
Almost calling her "babe", you tried to fix it by calling her (actually trying to call her) sunbaenim. Even though Yeeun knew about your relationship (you had already told her since you were friends), you didn't want any strangers to know. And that place was full of cameras and ears everywhere. It was risky. But your correction to the soft nickname you used to call her only made Wonyoung raise an eyebrow. There was something in her eyes and you knew it wasn't because of the makeup.
Yeeun greeted her and Wonyoung used a polite education towards the girl of almost the same height, differentiating by a few centimeters almost imperceptible, but that, with you between them, made you look much younger than them, even though the three of us had almost the same age.
Wonyoung praised StayC's performance and Yeeun thanked her before saying bye to you both and heading to the table where her group was at.
You raised your hand to Wonyoung's but the tall girl crossed her arms.
"Hey, what's up?", you asked.
"Nothing.", her tone was harsh and you felt a small pain your in your chest, but she had a smile on her face. A fake smile. "I wanted to be the first to congratulate you, but someone has already done that.", The smile was still on her face, for the cameras, but the tone of voice was still kinda rude towards you. "I can't even hold your hands without hear you saying that some people might be surprised by it, but apparently it's just with me. But, congratulations on the award, Y/N. It was well deserved. The girls and I congratulate your group.", she turned and started walking in towards Izone's table.
"Hey, what's up, Wonnie?", you asked, hurrying to catch up with her, but keeping an expression of false happiness on your face.
"Nothing.", her tone of voice cut into your heart, she hadn't even bothered to turn around.
"Hey, you know I can't keep up with your stride, that's not fair."
She stopped on the stairs, in the corridor that led to where her group's table was, turning to you and you almost ran into her, taking a few steps back.
"Just don't!", her gaze on you was as hard as her voice, but the smile was wide open on her face, it was petrified there.
You stopped as you watched your girlfriend move on without looking back.
"I can really do whatever tomorrow morning, I don't care, I just need to get this sorted out as soon as possible."
"I just think it's too late for you to go there...", Soojin had some concern in her voice.
"Have you texted her yet?", Jiyoon asked, stretched out on the living room floor.
"Several times and she doesn't answer nor even reply my texts since yesterday.", you paced back and forth in front of the television.
"If you keep walking like this, we'll find petroleum," said Soeun.
You sat on the floor next to Jiyoon.
"None of the girls answer you?", asked Seojeong, stretching.
"Hyewon replied that she is in a bad mood and locked herself in the room after dinner."
"What did you do, huh?", Yein asked.
"I don't know!", you almost shout, hiding your face in your hands.
"Oh, go on then because one in a bad mood is one thing but two in bad mood in different groups is a punishment! Go, go!", Soojin pulled you by the arm to get up and started pushing you towards the door .
"But what about the manager..."
"We'll find a way to cover you up, don't worry!", Seojeong said and Soojin closed the door.
You went down the stairs, calling an uber.
"Do you know how late it is?", asked Hyewon, rubbing her eyes and yawning.
"I know you don't usually sleep early, Hyewon. But it's a life-and-death situation!", you replied while removing your shoes in the lobby, only your socks on your feet.
"Death for whom? Only if it is for us, right? The sour mood she was in... I asked if she wanted salad and she almost killed me with her eyes!", with a tone of indignation, Sakura started to speak. "What did you do, huh?"
"I don't know!", you were about to cry. "Can I go and talk to her?"
The two girls nodded and you crossed the room to the hall like a bullet. When you opened the door, the room was dark and you already knew the way to Wonyoung's bed because you visited her sometimes. But instead of lying down, you knelt beside the bed, even in the dark, and whispered her name. You wanted to hold her hand but you were afraid. If she was upset with you, she probably wouldn't want you even there.
"Wonyoung?", you called again, this time in a louder tone.
"I can't believe you came here even after I treated you like that."
You didn't understand what the phrase meant.
"Can I lie down?", you asked, receiving in response Wonyoung moving her body to give you some space.
You embraced her in a hug, hoping she wouldn't reject it, even with her back to you. Again, her answer did not come in words. She held your arm around her.
"What did I do? Tell me so I won't repeat it.", your face was on her back.
"I'm feeling ashamed."
"Of me?"
"No! Of you??? Never! I'm ashamed of myself. I can't even look at you...", she confessed.
You were still confused, but you hugged her tighter. You wanted her to feel you there.
"You don't have to. You didn't do anything wrong, Wonnie..."
You heard a loudest sigh and she turned to you, resting her hand on your neck and touching your foreheads.
"I... I was an idiot. You, your group, had just won one of the most important awards of the night! I myself know how it feels to win it, I know how rewarding it is and... at the moment I-I didn't support you because I was... jealous.", you knew you shouldn't interrupt her, she was venting out. "I wish I could've hugged you and praised you... I feel so proud of you and everyting that you have achieved... but I saw you with that girl and she was holding your hands and she was smiling with such affection, I don't know what I was feeling other than jealousy.", her voice showed a little bit of anger and fragility but she kept her hand on your neck, caressing it. "I was wondering if she was special enough to show affection like that in front of so many cameras... if you liked tall maknaes and...", at that moment you laughed. "Hey, don't laugh! This is not funny at all!", she slapped you lightly on the shoulder.
"No, babe, what's funny is that you think I could have eyes for anyone but you."
"Yeah, you go ahead and think it's funny! And if it were me with, I don't know, a short maknae like you, holding her hands, wouldn't you be jealous when you saw it from a distance, without having an idea of what's going on? Would it be funny?"
"Yah! I get it! Don't even make me think of you with someone else.", you took her wrist and stroked it. "Yeeun is just a friend from school and she was congratulating me. There was nothing else. There would never be. She knows about us and gives the greatest support! I just didn't get to introduce you decently because there is never enough time. I want you to see that you don't have to feel jealous because you are the only tall maknae I love. I love you. "
"I'm sorry for ruining everything and making you come here almost at the dawn. You shouldn't have come so late!", she pulled you into a tight hug. "But at the same time I'm so glad and relieved you came.", she whispered that last sentence.
"I would come at anytime.", you whispered back, kissing her cheek.
"It's too late for you to leave. What are you going to do? We can arrange everything for you to stay.", you were going to talk but Wonyoung wouldn't let you. "We can really work it out, make up a very good lie for the managers, take you back to the dorm quickly tomorrow very early. I imagine you have a lot of commitments now that you've won the award but... it's so late... and I want you to stay with me."
"Okay, I'll stay.", you replied, without thinking. "But I need some clothes to sleep."
"Okay, you can borrow Nako's pajamas."
"Hey!"
"I'm kidding!", Wonyoung laughed. "You can borrow one of mine. It'll be huge on you, but you look beautiful anyway."
Embarrassed, you hid your face on her neck and felt her presence for a while, a warm embrace full of a young love that was blooming beautifully. The next day, you would have to deal with your manager scolding you a lot, knowing he would be right, but for now, you would enjoy your time with Wonyoung. Whatever happened next, it wouldn't matter. What mattered now was to be with the only tall maknae that you loved with all your heart.
#izone scenario#izone scenarios#wonyoung scenario#wonyoung scenarios#girlgroup scenario#girlgroupscenarios#wonyoung x reader#wonyoung imagine#izone imagine
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Jung Hoseok and the Magic to Happiness | 06 | End
; Hufflepuff Teacher!Hoseok x Reader
; Genre: Fluff, angst, smut
; Word Count: 7.5k
; Warnings: Penetrative sex, potion influence (? what’s the correct term here), unprotected sex (kinda), creampie, Hoseok licks his fingers...
; Synopsis: An unexpected issue with your Ministry of Magic job leads to you taking the role of Transfiguration Professor at Hogwarts. It’s here that you meet your best friend’s younger brother for the first time in years, the Hufflepuff Head of House, Jung Hoseok. While you contend with seeing him once again, Hoseok tries to show you that he’s very much a man and no longer the gangly teenager you once knew.
; A/N: Final chapter! We’re finally here. I bet you didn’t think I’d actually finish this series, haha. Two series down though! SO...I’m very rusty with smut. I haven’t written it since like...October so please be gentle with me! I hope you all enjoy this chapter and have liked reading this series! Please reblog it so others can find it and send me comments/reviews/feedback via an ask or by reblogging this! :D I love to read them all and your support has helped to encourage me to keep going.
Last Chapter ;
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Surprisingly, you don’t see Hoseok for a few days after the Winter Solstice Ball. He’s not present at any of the meals, nor do you see him around the castle either. It simultaneously confuses and concerns you as you worry that he’s feeling too awkward to be around you.
Seokjin, at a pre-Christmas meal at his house, had tried to confirm that he wasn’t avoiding you but instead was simply busy with preparing the magical creatures for the Christmas break. There were exchanges with other schools around the world that occurred at Christmas, meaning that Hoseok was constantly travelling with his creatures and taking custody of the foreign creatures which would be used for the next semester.
You’d viewed that with suspicion as you didn’t recall Hoseok nor Jisoo telling you that, but it did seem like a logical reason. Chaeyoung had backed the argument at the time, her mouth half full of roasted turkey. Given your suspicions about their involvement in trying to get Hoseok and you into a relationship had caused you to watch her suspiciously though.
It was only when Jimin, who had also been present for the meal, had confirmed it with a nod of his head that you’d finally believed them. As far as you knew, Jimin had no involvement and he’d genuinely fascinated with how close the two of you had been at the ball.
So even though it made you feel a little paranoid at his sudden absence after the kiss, you chose to trust your friends and believe what they said. You were already concerned about how to just interact with him when you saw him, you certainly didn’t need to obsess over the fact he ‘might’ be avoiding you.
Instead of letting your mind focus on that though, you instead throw yourself into any work you can do. The Christmas break sees most students gone and only a handful remaining behind. Some of those were because they wanted to continue studying or they didn’t want to leave their friends, others were because they didn’t have a stable home to go back to.
It made your heartache to know that some of your students had such poor home lives but it wasn’t something you could do anything about. Instead, you help to organise visits to Hogsmeade for the students so they can get to enjoy some of their break by just having fun and experiencing some of the Christmas cheer.
You’d also got through all the essays that you had to mark and the first month of the new semester had already been carefully planned out for when the students all returned. This meant that you’d done nearly all your work though and there were only so many books you could read without getting bored.
So you offered your services to the other professor’s who had remained behind, figuring that you could help them out while also reducing your boredom. This is why you were currently in the potion storeroom doing a stocktake; recording how many of each ingredient was left, if there were any that were running low or had run out completely, what potions were stored away and how much of each one.
It wasn’t the most interesting job but it helped to take your mind off things and you felt a little useful at least. You’d only been doing it for half-an-hour before you’d quickly realised why no one liked to do this job, though. The storeroom was bigger than it initially appeared and contained multiple shelving units, with each shelf packed full of ingredients, potions and spare potion-making ingredients.
There was a stale smell to the air which mingled with the faint remnants of potions that had been created in the many cauldrons that littered the room. Alongside that, there was so much dust in the room that you genuinely wondered if anyone used this place. Whilst you weren’t one to advocate using magic for stuff that you could just do by hand, there was no reason to not just do a quick cleaning spell in here.
Then again, you’ve never been amazing at potions so maybe that kind of spell might do something to one of the ingredients. So you just carry on, occasionally sneezing whenever you cause a small dust cloud to appear.
You end up so in the zone that you don’t hear the door open and close, nor the soft footfalls of someone walking in closer. This means you shriek in surprise when you hear your name in a familiar, low voice. Jerking forwards, you knock into the shelves in front of you and wince at the sound of glass hitting each other as bottles wobble dangerously.
“Shit!” Cursing, you miss the bottle with a mother-of-pearl sheen that teeters from the top shelf dangerously. Hoseok, obviously concerned with how he’d surprised you, rushes forward to help stabilise the bottles that are on the verge of smashing all around you.
As he grabs one that’s rolling towards the edge, you reach out to stop another one at the exact moment the top bottle drops. It hits your hand hard, bouncing before hitting the shelving unit and shattering. The potion inside splatters all over you, Hoseok and the shelf. Spiralled steams immediately begin to rise from where it impacts and you vaguely remember that amortentia looks like this.
But then you’re cursing loudly, sputtering as you get a mouthful of it. Without meaning to, you swallow it all and cringe as you feel it slide down your throat. The sound of Hoseok choking causes you to look over and you realise he’s got a mouthful of it as well, his face pinched as he sticks his tongue out from the taste of it.
“What was that?” He asks, blinking rapidly before wiping away what has splashed onto his face. For such a small bottle, it had managed to almost everywhere and even some stray strands of his hair were wet; steam rising slowly.
“If I remember my potions correctly...amortentia.” You say, lips twisting as you stare up at the top of the unit. Why this potion had been stored up there was beyond you as there was nothing else up there but dust. At least no other bottles had broken.
“Ah,” He muses before pausing, eyes widening as something clicks in his head. “Wait, isn’t that the love potion thing?”
“It doesn’t cause people to fall in love. If you remember back to your own potions lessons, no potion is capable of causing true love. Instead, it causes intense infatuation or obsess-oh…” Now your own eyes widen as you stare directly into Hoseok’s, warmth curling within your gut and rushing through your veins until your whole body feels hot.
Almost instantly, the two of you look away from each other. Coughing awkwardly, you shift to the other side of the storeroom, a hand pressed to your cheeks in a futile effort to cool them. Instead, they just feel even warmer.
What happened if two people took it? Especially if those two people already liked each other anyway? Did it just negate itself?
The slow burn within you said no and you let out a shaky breath, resting your forehead against the cool wood of the unit next to you.
“I’m sorry...I didn’t mean to scare you. I thought you heard me coming in...I wasn’t being quiet or anything.” Hoseok mutters and you glance over, noting the rosy pink gracing the apples of his cheeks. You wonder if it’s because he feels embarrassed or if it’s because he’s experiencing the same, intense feelings that you are.
Inhaling deeply, you tried to calm yourself only to realise that all you could smell was Hoseok. His scent was so strong that it was like he was standing right next to you instead of being on the other side of the room. Almost immediately, you knew it was the potion.
From what you remembered, amortentia caused those feelings for whoever administered it. Considering neither you nor Hoseok had been the one to serve it, you would’ve thought that it would just negate itself. Instead, it seems to have decided that you’ve both administered it to each other.
“It’s okay, don’t worry about it. I was too deep into my work,” Giving him a nervous laugh, you try to reassure him so he doesn’t get too worried that he’s done something wrong. “How come you’re here? I haven’t seen you in days.”
“Err, yeah...sorry. I’ve been really busy. I forgot to tell you that we usually start doing magical creature exchanges around Christmas to help educate our students on foreign creatures while also allowing other nations to learn about our creatures. It’s been a little hectic as I’ve been exchanging hippogriff’s, bowtruckles and nifflers with Castelobruxo in Brazil. Which as you can imagine has been a little stressful because I think I’ve almost lost about six niffler’s and almost lost a hand to one of the hippogriff’s.” He turns away from you to tidy up some of the shelves, missing your sigh of relief as you realise everyone has been right.
He hadn’t been avoiding you.
“I’m finished now though, for the moment. It took me longer than I liked as the fire slugs we got from Castelobruxo have been continuously burning their cages but I have that completely fixed now. I thought that I’d come to find you as we haven’t talked in a few days and I got told you were here. So...here I am.” Giving you a weak smile, Hoseok turns to look at you while shrugging.
He looks slightly uncomfortable now; a sheen on his golden tan skin while his face looks redder than normal. His hands grasp at nothing on his sides and you find yourself hyper fixated on them. Have you ever really noticed how long and slender his fingers are?
Almost immediately, you imagine those fingers somewhere else and almost moan out loud as you clench inner muscles around nothing. Was this a normal side effect of amortentia? You didn’t know what was happening and you weren’t the best at potions so this was all foreign to you.
At least you’d come to terms with the fact that you were attracted to him and would like to perhaps try a relationship. Otherwise, this would’ve been even more awkward. Not that he knew that yet, which is probably why he’s looking a little distressed.
You don’t feel that it’s the best moment to blurt that out though. Sure, it would reduce any uncomfortableness between you both but was it a good idea to admit you find him attractive too when you’re both suffering the effects of amortentia?
Probably not.
“It’s okay, don’t worry about it. A few of the others told me that you’d be busy doing this. I didn’t even know that magical creature exchange was a thing!” Cheerfully, you smile at him when he glances at you.
“Still, I should have told you. I’m really sorry.” He mumbles, reaching out to gently brush a scratchy pouch idly. His insistence at apologising causes you to smile and shake your head amused at how genuinely remorseful he is that he’d forgotten to tell you this one thing.
“Honestly, it’s fine. It’s your job, don’t say sorry for doing your job, okay? You’re a great caretaker for the magical creatures and I’m not surprised you forgot to mention it to me. I don’t tell you stuff about my job all the time because you don’t need to know it! So don’t stress.” Reaching for the checklist that you’d been running through earlier, you note down the broken amortentia potion with a small reprimand for the untidy storeroom.
As such, you don’t see the way Hoseok’s face twists as he forces himself to remain quiet.
The two of you remain silent for the next five minutes or so with you attempting to carry on counting the ingredients and potions on the shelves while Hoseok merely lingers in the background. He was so cute.
It would have been a comfortable silence between you both, like you always had with him, if not for the lingering awkwardness of the untalked kiss and the flaring desire of the potion. Shifting awkwardly, your thighs squeeze together in an attempt to relieve some pressure. It doesn’t work and you have to stifle a groan at the small sharp jolt of pleasure.
“Merlin,” Hoseok whispers, causing you to open your eyes and look over at him. His face is even more flushed and you note a slight sheen to his skin as if he’s too hot. If he’s even remotely as warm as you are then it’s entirely understandable and you wonder what you look like to him.
Blowing out a breath, he attempts to fan his face before pinching some of his shirt and pulling at it to get some cooler air. You can tell it doesn’t work because you’ve been subconsciously doing that for the last minute and all it’s done is cause you to imagine Hoseok’s lips brushing along your chest instead of the poor imitation of a breeze.
What finally tipped you over the edge to deciding you’d done enough counting today was yet another glance over to Hoseok. His tall and lithe form has been almost hidden beneath his robes all this time, but an uncomfortable shift causes him to reveal more of his body.
You weren’t normally such a blatant person but you couldn’t help the way your eyes drag down his body, taking in every crease in his crisp white button-up. The key moment that told you to get out of the room now was when your eyes trailed even further below, taking in the leather of his belt.
And the obvious tent in his trousers.
Swallowing so hard that you choke, you quickly move towards the door. The rush of blood throbbing in your ears drowns out Hoseok’s call of surprise, your focus solely on getting out of the overwhelmingly hot room.
The room with the man you’d very recently had decided you were attracted to both romantically and sexually. Not a good combo when you were almost burning from within with lust for him, especially when you know he’s turned on right now.
Running a hand down your face as you rush through the corridors, you can’t stop the quiet groan that leaves your mouth as you do so. Your clothes feel too tight for your body, almost suffocating and the aching need for fingers or something more between your legs is becoming unbearable.
“Y/N, wait!” Finally, Hoseok’s voice breaks through, causing you to falter as you almost pause. Even shouting, his voice is low and sends shivers through your body. A tiny whine escapes and you push forwards, almost jogging now in your effort to get back to your quarters.
Maybe a shower would get rid of this. A very cold shower, or a cold bath. You’d make a potion to counteract it but you’re nowhere near good enough to combat an advanced potion like that.
As your door finally comes into view, and for a moment you marvel at how fast you’ve managed to move from the dungeons that house the potions classroom and the store you’d been working into your quarters.
Not quite fast enough though as Hoseok’s long legs finally let him catch up, his hand reaching out and gently grasping at your arm. He’s touching you through multiple layers of clothing and yet your skin is almost burning, the desire to have him against your bare skin stronger than ever.
You get the feeling that he’s experiencing the same as he suddenly retracts his hand, almost as if he’d burned it and lets out a hiss. The sound is sibilant and low, his breath escaping him quick and you feel a strong urge to hear it once more.
Still, he doesn’t let his surprise or shock stop him. A look at his face shows you that his expression is a mix of concern and worry beneath the flushed cheeks of lust and glassy eyes of desire.
“I’m sorry, did I do something? I didn’t mean to if I did. Please don’t run away from me!” He begs, one hand moving out towards you almost like it has a mind of its own. The way he looks at it, with a scowl like it’s doing something wrong, almost makes you laugh as you can understand his frustration.
You’ve had to stop yourself from reaching out to him at least twice now.
Instead, you give him a tense smile and try to ignore the fact that he’s standing a little awkwardly. It takes far more effort than you’d like to not look down because you know it’s because he has an erection that is probably uncomfortable. Something he likely doesn’t want to bring attention to.
“Don’t worry, it’s okay. I promise. I just...I just needed to get out of that room, you know.” You let your words trail off awkwardly, fidgeting with your hands and trying desperately not to look at his crotch. As usual, though, the temptation to look was made all the stronger by your knowledge that you couldn’t just ogle his groin openly.
“Ah...yeah, er, right. It was quite...quite warm.” He pauses in his sentence though, looking a little conflicted and you follow where his eyes are staring. Right down to your chest, which is currently covered by a soft, cream-coloured jumper that you’d happily pulled on this morning.
It feels more than a little stifling right now though.
As soon as he registers where he’s looking, he sputters and starts to resemble a tomato. An absurdly handsome, tall tomato. The longer you let your thoughts linger there then the more stupid they begin to become.
Still, his blatant want fuels your potion addled senses and you start to speak without thinking.
“Do you like me? Romantically and sexually, you know? I’m pretty sure you do. I’m sorry that I didn’t realise, I’m dumb apparently. I know you’ve been trying to subtly tell me for ages now but I finally did! And I liked our kiss and I really want to do it again. Actually, I wanna do more than kiss you-” Hoseok cuts you off by reaching out for your hand, his fingers slightly calloused but still so damn soft.
And hot against you.
“Yes. I like you, a lot. More than you probably realise. I just didn’t want to push you or make you feel awkward-” Now it’s your turn to interrupt him, twisting your fingers until you can thread them through Hoseok’s.
A slight tug has him following you with wide eyes, the door to your classroom being pushed open and closed as soon as he’s inside. Without another word, you push him up against the wood while grasping at his shirt to tug him closer.
Your lips connect with ease and this time, it’s nothing like the previous kiss. Where that was chaste, this had the flames of lust burning deep within and you moaned out as Hoseok licked into your mouth, stoking that heat within you even further.
Pressing yourself to his body, you let one hand trail along his shirt and sigh as you finally get to confirm that he is exactly as lean and toned as you’d initially thought. Your touch causes him to shiver, breaking away from your lips to press open-mouthed kisses to your jawline almost desperately.
“Hoseok,” Whispering into his ear, you let your other hand run your fingers through his hair before tugging on some of the black strands. “Ah, please.”
You’re not sure what you’re asking him but you don’t care either. Anything he can give you, you’ll take.
His fingertips scorch your skin as he lets them dance over your waist, slipping beneath your jumper with a hunger he can only show. As he does so, he captures your mouth once more and kisses you with such passion and strength that you’re momentarily left breathless.
Trying to kiss him back with equal fervour while your fingers move to unbutton his shirt, losing grip on them as you refuse to move away to look down. It causes him to laugh into it, the sound pleasant and light, before he gently pushes your hands away.
Pulling away from the kiss, he presses his forehead against your own and gives a breathy smile. Glassy eyes and dilated pupils greet you while his breath hits your skin with each puff as he tries to centre himself. And then he almost looks sad; his brow creasing and the corners of his lips turning down.
“We shouldn’t...not like this. I...I really want, oh fuck I want you so bad. But this wasn’t how I imagined...you deserve better. More romantic or some-” Reaching up, you gently place a finger on his lips to quiet him. He does so instantly and you’re pleased that he doesn’t look annoyed at your interruption.
“It’s not what I imagined either but I’m not turning it down. If anything, I’m glad that potion is helping to bolster my confidence because I doubt I’d have got the courage to do anything. So, please, don’t worry about me. I want you and I’m fully aware of myself. All that potion is doing is bolstering my feelings.” You hadn’t known if that was something he was worried about and you wanted to soothe any fears he might have.
It’d be understandable because part of you is also worried that he’s only doing this because the amortentia potion is fuelling an insatiable need within. The way his eyes widen at your words before his whole body relaxes let’s you know that has been a concern of his, causing you to smile, and reach up to cup his cheeks before pulling him into a quick kiss.
“Now, please carry on and don’t stress. We’ll talk properly after, okay?” Hoseok nods and you bite your lip, trying not to laugh at how eager he looks once more.
He doesn’t kiss you again though, instead turning and tugging on your hand. Brows rising, you follow him before watching in astonishment as he sweeps your desk clear of any papers or stationery. Part of you wants to complain, but the thought instantly vanishes when he backs you up until you can feel the solid wood against the backs of your thighs.
“Hoseok! My desk? Seriously?” Giggling, you glance around your classroom and feel a little scandalised. The door to your quarters is only a few metres away but he has an almost playful look in his eyes when he grins back at you. You’d protest doing something like this in your classroom louder if it wasn’t for the fact that you were desperate for him.
He doesn’t respond to those comments though, instead reaching out and ghosting his fingers over your cheek. It makes you shiver as you feel that touch all over.
“Once more...you want this, right? You’d want this even without the potion influence?” You wonder how much amortentia addles the mind but you reason to yourself that you’ve thought about this with him for the last week. About him between your thighs, deep inside you and pleasing you.
“I want it. I’ll want it after, too.” Purposefully lowering your voice, you look at him from beneath your lashes before reaching out and hooking your fingers around his belt. Now he’s the one laughing, the sound low and husky as he lets you pull him forward.
As if you’re magnetically attracted, your lips meet his once more and you sigh into his mouth as he pressed himself against you. Whimpering, you slide your hands around his waist and try to pull him closer. A wiggle on the hard surface has Hoseok’s erection pressing onto your clit, causing you to moan out.
He mirrors the noise, the sound hoarse from his throat and you find yourself grinding against him as well as you can. It doesn’t quite work as you have nothing to brace your legs with but neither of you seems to mind. Thankfully though, Hoseok seems to understand and begins a slow roll of his hips that drives you wild.
But it’s not enough though and you shift away from him, dragging your hands down his front and enjoying the way he moans as your nails scrape through his shirt. Reaching his belt, you fumble to undo it and frown in frustration as you struggle with it.
“Let me,” Hoseok says, undoing the buckle with practised ease and slipping the leather through the meal. The sound of it sparks something inside you, causing you to writhe on the desk and beg him to hurry up. A quirk of his lips tells you that he’s amused at your insistence.
Before he does anything else though, he reaches forward and pushes your skirt along your thighs. The soft material only adds to the overstimulation of your already wired body, causing goosebumps to form all over.
His fingertips on the freshly exposed skin feel even better though, the sensitive skin of your inner thighs sparking fireworks of pleasure and delight at his touch. Letting your head fall back, you just let yourself focus on the feelings and whine softly, pussy clenching around nothing.
Under normal circumstances, you would want to explore all of Hoseok and have the favour returned in full. You’d want the full experience with plenty of foreplay; his mouth and fingers delving into places that only he’s allowed to see.
You’re too desperate though and you pull your skirt up, shifting until you’re laying back on the desk and trying to tug your underwear off. It’s hard to do on the desk though and you’re thankful when Hoseok takes over, his fingers hooking into the soft material and then you’re feeling cool air.
“Fuck.” He curses, eyes focused solely between your legs. You’re almost embarrassed to realise how wet you are, the underwear in his hands sporting a prominent damp batch that has a shiny spot you can see even from here.
Being this close to him and now being half-naked, you want him more than ever and you try to grasp at his wrist, needing him to touch you down there. Anything you can get, you’ll take. Hoseok lets you take his hand, guiding his fingers until they’re pressing against the hardened nub of your clit.
The sound you let out is obscenely loud as you move his hand until he’s touching you in just the right way to send arrows of pleasure through your body. Letting go, you let him carry on and enjoy the heat of him on you, sighing in relief at finally getting what you wanted.
It’s not enough though and you try to shift your hips, lifting them in an attempt to line his fingers with your entrance. He can tell what you’re trying to do though and grins, the expression causing his cheeks to rise while his eyes sparkle down at you.
“Do you just want to do it? You’re already really wet.” He asks, raising a brow and you nod quickly. You don’t want to waste any more time and the thought of having his cock in you is more than you can bear. It doesn’t stop you from whining in displeasure as he takes his hand away to finish undoing his trousers.
To try and combat that, you let your fingers take over from where he was. You know your body better than anyone and almost instantly you’ve got a good rhythm going. The sight of him before you, cheeks flushed with his hair looking ruffled and his shirt creased, is unbelievably erotic.
Unzipping his trousers, he pushes them down his thighs alongside his underwear. You don’t even get to see what kind he wears but you find that you don’t care. Beneath the ends of his white button-up shirt, a prominent erection stands proudly towards you. The tip is swollen and red, unsurprising given how long he’s had it for now.
He’s not the longest, nor the thickest, but you don’t care. Hoseok’s cock is quite possibly the most perfect thing you’ve seen at that moment and all you want is for him to be inside you.
Before you can vocalise that though, he’s suddenly grabbing his wand before his trousers fall to the floor. Resting the tip on your belly, he mutters a quick spell and you realise that he’s got more control of himself than you do as he’d remembered to cast a contraceptive spell. A second spell on both you and him protects you from any diseases or infections, after which he practically throws his wand to the side.
You’d protest his lack of care about something so fragile but you can’t bring yourself to care when he moves forward, letting the tip of cock rest against your pussy. The weight, almost surprising given how it defies gravity, is delightful on your clit and he presses it down, moving in a slow roll that has you sighing.
More wetness coats your pussy, which in turn coats him and you grasp one of his hands. Linking your fingers together, you pull him a little closer and mewl as he slides against the sensitive bundle of nerves once more.
“Please, Hoseok. Please” You beg, causing him to smile with satisfaction.
Placing his free hand on your left leg, he pushes it up a little and out to the side, stretching you open a little more for him. Shivering as the air cools the slick excitement between your legs, you go to protest. It’s cut off though by the feeling of him penetrating you, the blunt head of his cock slipping into you with minimal resistance thanks to how wet you’ve gotten.
Moaning loudly, your eyes close as he stretches you with each inch. It’s been a long time since you’ve slept with anyone and the ragged cry Hoseok pulls from you is directly caused by how good he feels inside you. It’s like you can feel every inch of him as he slides deeper within, the nerves in your walls firing sparks of pleasure continuously until he finally bottoms out.
For a moment, the two of you simply stay in position and bask in the beautiful feeling. You’re panting a little and trying to resist the urge to shift your hips to encourage him to move. One glance at Hoseok tells you to let him move at his own pace.
His face is pinched, brows knitted together and his jaw looking sharper than ever as he clenches his teeth. The fingers wrapped in yours squeeze tightly and after a few seconds, he lets out a guttural groan that sounds as if it was ripped from his gut.
“Shit...Merlin’s beard, you’re so...I don’t know if I’m going to last,” He admits, his cheeks burning redder than ever. “I’m sorry if I don’t. I’ve imagined...this is…”
Grunting, he slowly pulls out before sliding back into you with one fluid motion of his hips. A broken cry escapes your mouth at the pleasure and you reach down to rub at your clit. You’re just as desperate as he is to orgasm, to feel him thick inside you as you convulse around him while waves of pleasure leave you boneless.
“It’s okay, it’s okay. Just...move. Please.” You reassure him, trying to smile before your eyes roll back into your head at the second thrust. Still, your words let him gain some confidence and he continues to move in slow and steady snaps of his hips, each drag of his cock better than the last.
Lifting onto your elbows, you risk a glance down to take in the sight of him thrusting into you. His cock is soaked with your wetness and you realise suddenly that it’s causing lewd sounds every time he moves. You’d be embarrassed at it but the sound is strangely erotic to you; the knowledge that he’s caused you to become this wet and experience this much pleasure intoxicating.
The two of you don’t speak for a minute or so after that, far too caught up in just enjoying yourselves and all the feelings that course through your bodies. You suppose the potion is a little to blame for the almost selfish nature of the sex, but there’s also more than enough longing and desire on his side mixing with eagerness and attraction on your own.
“Fuck, I think-I think I’m gonna cum.” Hoseok pants out, his whole chest moving as he gasps out from the strenuous effort of sex. His face has a sheen to it and the damper patches on his white shirt indicate how much he’s sweating from it. Probably also a little from just how warm you’d both ended up.
Moaning out in response, you tip your head back against the cool wood of your desk and let your hand do its work. The combination of his cock inside you and your fingers playing on your clit blend together perfectly and you writhe wildly.
“Ah...shit.” His entire body going rigid as he pushes into you as far as he can get. Watching him, you cry out at how beautiful and sexy he looks as he orgasms; his jaw tightly clenched to show off that beautiful line of bone while the tendons in his neck strain. The hand entwined with yours squeezes harder than ever and he seems to just inside you in tiny movements, almost like he’s extending his pleasure without wasting too much effort.
You can feel the subtle twitch of his cock deep within you and the knowledge that he’s orgasming inside you has your fingers swirling on your clit harder and faster than before. Tightening your inner muscles, you relish in the strangled moan Hoseok lets out and the increase of feeling.
Not long after he lets out a final sigh, deeper than anything else, and he strokes his free hand down your thigh. It’s almost an encouraging touch and even though he’s finished, he moves in you with a slow and lazy stroke. The slight wince he has tells you that he’s probably a little overstimulated but he doesn’t complain and you cry out as your whole body tenses up.
Back bowing and head pressing into the desk, you tighten your eyes closed as high pitched whines and breathes escape your throat. Hips rolling in a circular motion, you continue to stroke at the sensitive bundle of nerves between your legs until the sensation becomes too much. Pulling your hand away, you’re surprised when Hoseok grabs at it suddenly.
He slips out of you, his cock rapidly becoming flaccid nows that’s had his fill and you shift at the sensation of liquid that’s slightly thicker than your excitement beginning to leak from you. The knowledge that it’s come from him is surprisingly arousing and you try to push the thought away.
Something not helped by the fact that Hoseok takes the fingers that had been so busy with your clit and licks them clean, groaning out quietly as he finally gets to taste you. It’s probably not the way he imagined doing it, but Merlin, it’s certainly an attractive way.
“That was good,” He finally says, letting your hand drop and you miss the feel of his tongue already. “Better than I’ve ever imagined...and I imagined it a lot.”
He’s flushed from the intense exercise but the bashful look to his eyes tells you that some of that pink tinge is also from his shyness. You can’t help but grin at the fact he’s getting quiet after just fucking you so hard on your desk.
Sitting up slowly, you stretch and enjoy the satisfying feeling of multiple muscles in your body and the overall sense of contentment that washes through you. Reaching forward, you wrap your arms around his neck after he’s tugged his trousers and underwear back up before kissing him gently.
“How flattering, Professor Jung. I feel honoured.” There’s a hint of teasing in your voice but you keep it light enough to know that you’re not being mean to him. Instead, you’re pleased by his admission that he’s thought of you sexually. Perhaps you don’t want to know about what his teenage fantasies were but you’ll happily accept his adult fantasies.
It works to make him snort a laugh and shake his head, stroking his hands along your waist.
“And as amazing as the sex was...I’m feeling a little tired and sore from the desk. So let’s take this into my quarters, shall we?” Pushing him, you hop off the desk and let your skirt fall back into place. It’s creased now and there’s likely wet stains on the back alongside what will eventually become semen stains too.
Hoseok doesn’t follow you as you move towards the door leading to your bedroom, causing you to turn and give him an arched brow in question. Opening the door without looking at it, you smile brightly before winking.
“Well? Do you want me to be alone in my bed?” Turning away from him, you quickly pull off your shirt and throw it out of the door for him to see. It’s only seconds before you hear the sound of him following quickly, causing you to smile to yourself.
-
Yawning widely, you stretch out your arms and almost hit Hoseok in the face. Toes brushing against his leg as you do so, he lets out a laugh that’s more movement than sound. The rumble of his chest beneath your cheek is comforting and you sigh deeply in contentment. It had been only half an hour or so since you’d had sex and what was likely only three hours since you’d both fucked the first time.
You had to give Hoseok credit; he knew exactly what he was doing.
Just the thought of the frantic sex on your desk had you heating up in dual embarrassment and desire. Embarrassment because...well it was your desk! In your classroom. How were you ever going to look at the table without remembering what had happened on top of it?
The desire was a more obvious, and expected, emotion though. Experiencing that again would be very welcomed on your behalf and you suspected that Hoseok would be just as open to it.
Nuzzling your head into him, you took in a deep breath to get a concentrated dose of Hoseok mixed with sex. It was a heady scent and you squeeze your thighs, feeling the wetness that was still there.
Despite the horny monster he’s released, you feel a sense of tired contentment between you both. Hoseok hasn’t said anything since you’d both collapsed onto the bed after a rigorous second round and you hadn’t wanted to interrupt it yet. It was nice to just enjoy the tired aftermath of sex without the pressure of talking anything out.
Even if you knew that you both had to.
As if he can tell what you’re thinking, Hoseok takes a deep breath that has your head rising.
“I didn’t intend for...well for this. I swear,” He says, his voice a little nervous and you can tell he’s uncertain about how you’re going to respond now the potion has run its course. “I’m sorry for knocking the potion over, it was stupid of me.”
Pushing up onto your elbow, you reach up and place a finger against his lips to stop him from saying anything else. He looks at you, his cheeks adorably full from this angle and his eyes dark while he waits for you to say whatever you’re thinking.
What you’re thinking is that his lips are so soft beneath your fingertip, plush and swollen from the frantic kisses. Before you can think of anything else, you shift forward until you’re kissing him once more, the movement slow enough for him to stop it if he didn’t want to.
He lets you though, one hand coming up to cup the back of your neck in support, and opening his mouth to deepen it. A quiet moan leaves your throat as you slant your mouth against his, tilting your head to find the perfect angle and shivering as he slips his tongue into your willing mouth.
Any hint of a conversation disappears between you both, his free hand running down your naked back in a slow stroke that’s so sensual it has you quivering. But you know that he understands that you’re not annoyed at him; actually the exact opposite.
Pulling away, you lick at your lips and note the unfiltered lust in his eyes as he watches you do so, before smiling at him. Brushing some of his dark hair away from his face, admiring just how handsome he was.
“Don’t worry about it, honestly. I was fully aware of myself and wanted it. I already told you that and I meant it. The potion just helped me to get over my inhibitions. Trust me, I was already considering this after the Winter Solstice Ball. I just didn’t know how to get over the hurdle of being nervous about it.” Now it’s his turn to comfort you, his fingertips tracing across your face in a featherlight touch.
It’s almost painfully tender and the sparkling warmth in his eyes tells you that there’s something much deeper there for him. But you don’t push and he doesn’t spill. He’ll tell you when he’s comfortable with it, and you’ll be there to hear it.
Instead, he opens up with an entirely different kind of vulnerability. The confidence he’s shown so far disappears and you note fondly that it makes him look younger. Something he’d probably hate you saying.
You’ve finally figured out why he never likes conversation about the age difference between you both, at least.
“Really? Do you really mean that? I mean, about considering it?” Hoseok sounds awkward, his voice pitching higher than normal at one point and causing him to cough while his cheeks darken. The urge to coo is unbelievable.
“Yes, I mean it. I was a little taken aback when I first came here and I saw how much you’d changed since I’d last seen you. But you became one of my closest friends and the last few weeks has had me looking at you...in a slightly different light. You were...unreal at the ball and it made me realise a lot of things. And the kiss spurred that on, too. I talked with Jisoo and she helped me to see that...you’re not just her little brother. I’d been putting that label on you in an attempt to keep you at arm’s length, but I don’t want that now. I don’t need to, because I’ve accepted that I find you attractive and I would be open to more if you wanted it.” The words fall from your mouth in a rush, taking advantage of the confidence you had to get this out.
“I want it.” You don’t even get to say anything else because Hoseok interrupts you with those three simple words, the syllables fast as his enthusiasm takes over. Snorting quietly, you kiss his cheek affectionately and enjoy it when it pinkens once more.
“Someone’s eager.” Teasing him, you roll onto your back and let out a sigh as you stare up at the blank ceiling. There’s a slight chill in the air, common in such an old castle as Hogwarts, but you feel your nipples pebble from it. Shuddering, you go to tug the blanket over your naked body and Hoseok’s.
“I’ve been waiting for this for a while, so yeah. But we can talk about that more later if you want?” Looking over at him, you smile at the happiness on his face and note how he seems so much lighter than before. The knowledge that you’ve done this to him is a little overwhelming, causing you to let out a sudden breath.
And then you notice that he’s not only happy in the metaphorical sense but also in the physical sense, a prodding against your thigh causing you to peek under the blanket. Sure enough, his well-endowed erection was very prominent against you.
Raising an eyebrow, you look up at Hoseok with a mix of exasperation, amusement and admiration.
“Already? Three times in an evening?” Now Hoseok is the one smirking, the palm of his hand pressing flat against your stomach before slowly creeping down your body. The low lying flame of desire that had settled burns back to life now and you subtly wriggle in your bed, thighs opening as your body tries to get those long fingers where you want them.
“One of the benefits of a younger man,” Wiggling his brows, he grins when you chuckle before pushing at his chest. “If our age difference is ever mentioned again then I want this to be the thing you remember most.”
And with that, he flashes his teeth in a mischievous smile before disappearing under the blanket, ignoring your shriek of laughter at how his fingers tickle. That laughter soon dissolves into a moan when he reaches his destination though and as you grasp his hair tightly, glad that you finally took the plunge and realised what a wonderful man Jung Hoseok is.
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Let the Stars Witness
Okay okay holy— omg I did it! My first request and from an admired writer of mine no less!
From @kim-monsterlings : Hi and welcome!! Really looking forward to seeing your work! ~ If you would, could I request some form of friends to lovers with an orc? (Prompts maybe like, "you deserve better.") Thank you! <3
Since it wasn't specified on what their genders are, I hope your okay with what I went with! And I kinda trailed off from the prompt (or rather it's different but similar)
Anyways you'll know when you read!
•
Pairing: Male Orc (Duruk) x Human Fem!Reader
Word count: 2.2k
Warnings: None.
•
"You know, I never thought I would be friends with anyone here, especially with someone other than my, well, species," you tell your companion, your eyes not leaving the cloudless night sky as you lied on your back on the roof of his house. The stars were out tonight.
If you told your younger self that you'd be having great escapades (if running away and getting into a series of trouble fall under that) with an orc, you would most definitely cry your eyes out because you thought were being teased, taking it as a hurtful comment. You were sensitive like that. Part of the reason why no one would even go near you, afraid they might hurt you with a pat on the shoulder or with one word alone. You became the prime target of bullies, finding twisted amusement at your pathetic reactions. A crybaby, they called you. But it wasn't your fault you didn't have much control over your emotions. You were weird, asocial, timid, maybe even depressed. Having a neglectful family didn't help either, it just worsened.
•
The morning you met Duruk was after the orientation. And it was not so good for a first impression.
Long story short, you cried.
But since you're perhaps curious as to what happened exactly, let's elaborate.
You had your headphones on, the melodic sound of gentle rain played in a 3-hour loop and blocked out other noises, your eyes glued to the path you were on. You took long and hurried steps, wishing you could teleport to your classroom and hide in the back, disappear or become invisible.
You were distracted, or should we say, focused on the ground and expecting everyone to step aside and let you through.
Well, except for the one who had his back on you.
You crashed—not an exaggeration— into something- someone massive. You stumbled back and landed on your bum, wincing from the impact. Luckily, your headphones were safe (ah yes, priorities), detaching from your ears and landing on your shoulders. When you looked up to see who it was, you thought your eyes were gonna fall off, grow little legs, and scamper away.
Before you stood an orc, halfway turned to glance at whoever it was that tried to push him, his sharp tusks jutting out from his maw. His brows were furrowed as he looked down on you. Sure, he wasn't as tall as the orcs you've seen around the city and campus but still was over 6 feet, with muscles thicker than your thighs, easily hulking you.
You tried to get out an apology and run as far as you could go, but you just sat there, frozen as you strained your neck to meet his gaze, you couldn't look away. Your heart was trying to claw its way out into the surface.
Then you felt the tears swell up.
They cascaded down your face before you even could stop them.
The orc's eyes widened at your reaction and crouched down to your level in an instant that he almost fell over. His hands hovered, not sure what to do.
"Hey, hey, please don't cry. Please don't—"
"I-I-I'm re..really s-sorry p-please don't hurt m-me..." You managed to choke out pathetically, hiccuping in every word.
"Shhh now hey, it's okay. It was an accident— what? No! Why would I do that?" he replied. The orc peeked over his shoulder and to the sides. "Let's get you to somewhere, uh, less crowded," he added. You turned your head and saw that you had an audience, whispers went around as they sent pitiful and disgusted glances in your direction, only making you cry even more.
He proceeded to unceremoniously lift you into his arms, bridal style, and dashed away. You gripped the front of his shirt and shut your eyes. You were trembling now, scared of what he might do to you. How could you even fight back with your small stature?
It wasn't long until you felt him slow down and placed you carefully on a bench. The orc knelt in front of you, brows scrunched up as he studied your face.
"You okay? I didn't hurt you, did I?"
You didn't reply, only staring at him through your glassy eyes as you heaved.
You flinched when his hand started rubbing your back, his other hand placed on the side of the bench to balance himself.
He continued to caress your back and murmured soothing words in hopes of calming you down.
Your tears didn't stop falling until moments later when you came down from your initial fear, the warmth of his palm leaving your back once you did. All the while the orc remained where he was, at a loss of what to do next.
You rubbed your sticky face with the collar of your pale and blotchy crimson sweater, sniffing and taking slow, deep breaths before you spoke.
"I... I'm sorry for causing you trouble. E-Even going as far as to take me somewhere quiet. I...appreciate that." You thought you'd pass out with the way people gathered around you, it was suffocating. "Thank you..."
"I panicked," he started, "Sorry—I mean, it's okay, you didn't do anything wrong. I get that a lot of people run away from the sight of me, but you didn't, and just froze there on the ground so..." he shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck.
You shook your head. He was such an imposing figure to many, their first thought was most likely to get away or scream at him.
"You looked angry... When I bumped into you." You slammed into him actually, but he didn't budge an inch. Guess it was one-sided.
"Oh, that? Well, my brother scolds me a lot for having such a grumpy face, scaring humans away. Like he was the one to talk when he's taller and bigger than me! People would faint on the spot when they see him, I bet!"
The image your mind conjured up tore a laugh out of your body, two orcs arguing about how not to terrify people at sight was damn hilarious. When was the last time someone made you laugh like this?
The orc grinned, your reaction a contrast to that of earlier.
You opened your mouth to say something but the ringing of the great bell resounded, cutting you off. The two of you stood up as you realized you were late for your first class of the school year.
"So, uh, what now?" you asked.
"How about we go to our class, then maybe meet up later? Oh, fu— my mother will gut me— I haven't introduced myself!" He blurted out, his voice making you yelp with the sudden outburst.
Clearing his throat, he reached out, "I'm Duruk."
In turn, you gave him your name, taking his hand and smiled. "Hello, Duruk."
•
True to his word, you met again later when lunch came. The cafeteria was packed so you settled on getting the convenience food they offered and eat somewhere quiet.
Your conversation that day spiraled when you found out the two of you had a lot in common. From your favorite rock band to your favorite flavor of ice cream.
You both strongly agreed that vanilla ice cream was superior.
You agreed to meet up during breaks, always having something to chat about.
Eventually, you became inseparable.
He even changed and transferred to your class just so the two of you could be together at the start of the day rather than walk half of the campus to see each other every time.
You became best friends, sharing each moment in school, may it be helping the other stay awake in a boring class, or copying homework when one of you forgot to do it. Soon enough, Duruk started inviting you to his house to hang out. He did mention he had four other siblings, but he lived alone. You came by almost every night and on whole weekends to escape from home, only a few miles in between. No one would notice you gone anyways, but you returned around midnight, not wanting to impose on Duruk no matter what he says, so he walks you back instead.
You basked in each other's company. The odd and scrutinizing glares didn't go unnoticed when you two were together, but you shrugged them all off.
It didn't take long before you started having feelings for the orc, a little wishful thinking that you could be more than friends. You noted lately that his touches would linger seconds longer than usual, hugs and even a hand on your shoulder and back seem to be warmer and —you dare say— affectionate. It weighed heavily on your heart, your simple crush turned into something else, and it only grew with each passing day, and every laugh you shared.
But of course, you swatted those away, buried them deep inside every damn time they climb back up. Who could even love you? Yes, you have Duruk, he likes you, you think. But that's the end of it. Just close buddies. You can't take the risk of ruining your friendship with him and make things awkward with the only one you had! What if he stops talking to you, weirded out by your confession? You don't want to go back to being alone again, your heart can't take the rejection that came with it.
So you endured.
•
A little over five months ever since the embarrassing accident, here you are now, stargazing with your best friend.
"Well, good thing you didn't watch where you were going that time then," he says, chuckling beside you. His hands cushioned his head against the hard surface. "I wouldn't have..." he trails off.
"Hm, what?" you ask. Duruk went silent and didn't answer you for a time. You were about to let it slide but then he breathes in audibly.
"I wouldn't have met an angel if you did. Should've caught you in my arms, but sadly I didn't move fast enough." He replies, his voice deep and mellow.
You straighten up and turn to face him, your brows shot up, incredulous to what he just implied.
"W-Wait. What?" you squeak, your heart thumping hard in your chest, your skin warming up even in the chilled night air.
Is he—
"You're so cute, y'know that? Fuck it, it's all or nothing," he whispers under his breath as he sits up to face you. His expression was unreadable, but you see in his mahogany eyes a familiar glint of determination. "I'm not good with long-ass speeches so I'll make this short," he breathes in before he continues, "I feel something for you, for a while now, more than a best friend does, like...in a romantic sense. I want to cherish you and hold you in my arms every time I see you, I- ah fuck- damn it I just—" he growls, "I love you, so much and if you don't love me back then please re—"
You shut him off with your lips against his, Duruk's tusks pressing against your cheeks as you held his face in your hands. He was stunned for two solid seconds before returning the kiss, his arms snaking around your waist and pulling you close and into his lap.
You feel something wet roll down your hand and you immediately jerked back to see his face. The orc was crying.
Did you do it wrong? Were you so terrible at it—
"I don't deserve you... A monster like me doesn't deserve an angel like you."
Where was this coming from??
"Say that again, I dare you."
"I don't de—"
This idiot!
You pecked his lips to cut him off.
"You big dummy," you begin, "I love you too, idiot. You may be a monster but not what everyone else defines you as. I love you as you are. You're my best friend, and dare I say my l-lover now. Is that right...?"
Duruk gives you a small, gentle smile, "If you'll have me, then yes, for as long as you want me to be." He says, sniffling a sob as a couple more tears tumbled down his rugged face.
You never thought you'd see him like this. He was the one who kept making you laugh with his stories and terrible jokes. Before you, in your hands was someone vulnerable, his eyes soft and fond as he gazed into yours.
It made your heart pound and it hurt.
You leaned in and he met you halfway, kissing once again, deeper and more intimate this time. Real. You brought your arms around his neck, your tears spilling out and he tightened his grip around you. It felt like a dream, too good to be true, but the way he hugged you like you were the only thing that anchored him in this world made you believe it wasn't. All of this was real and you couldn't be anymore happier.
From above, the glittering stars, the light gentle as they shone, bear witness to two freed hearts, bottled up feelings gushing out like a broken dam as you embraced one another and lost yourselves in the moment of bliss, cheeks stained and clothes lightly damp from the tiny rivulets of liquid that dropped down.
It's a lovely night, isn't it?
#athenawrites#my writing#exophilia#monster lover#orc lover#orc x human#monster boyfriend#orc boyfriend#orc x reader#monster x human#requests#fiction#terato#romance#monster romance#orc
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When the world falls apart, the only thing we can hold onto is ourselves (Part III)
Series Master list
pairing: canon Eren Jaeger x reader
content: Angst, unstable relationship, breakup, smut/nswf+18, major character death, violence, blood (obviously), war (pretty obvious)
Summary: War and hate. It’s what defined the world at this exact moment. You failed your comrades, and by failing them, you failed yourself. Your relationship is hanging by a thread and your enemies will not only be found on the other side of the sea, but also in the mind of the person you love the most. How will you take the reins in the face of so much destruction?
Chapter summary: It will take more than a betrayal and blood blath for the reader to stop protecting those who really need it.
Words count: 4.7k
I knew things were going to go from bad to worse when we returned to Paradis; but I never imagined that I would have a letter from the Supreme Commander on my desk. Days had passed since my fiasco conversation with Eren, spreading the word of my insubordination towards the lack of notification to the respective authorities. Sure, the guards had let me into the cell just because they knew me, but I never had the decency to tell Hange-san or even ask for a meeting with the Supreme Commander.
And here I was. Wrapped up in a much bigger shit roll since I decided to enlist in the Survey Corps, with a simple letter demanding my presence in his office for a little "talk."
The medical center where I could do my practices with ease was quite far from the justice’s court where the Supreme Commander was, having to go out to ride through the beautifully paved streets. A street I crossed, a street I saw citizens read the newspapers that had brought so much catastrophe to peace within the walls. People were revolting against the militancy, demanding Eren's immediate release, praising he was the only one who could lead Eldia to its ultimate glory.
If they could heard themself right now. They spoke as if Paradis itself had become an empire, a power on the verge of attacking and taking every country under its feet. It was as if they wanted to turn the game around, to be us the empire and our enemies the war slaves.
I was still far from my destination, but the crowd could be seen cowering above the barred court doors. Men and women with posters screaming without sense or unity, an angry mob demanding explanations, ready to use violence to make their way into the hierarchy.
I got off my horse when I faced the crowd, needing to get up front and through the secured gate and with my loyal traveling companion I wasn't going to make it. I left him tied up outside a local, asking the owner to take care of him, if necessary, I would give him a monetary compensation on my returned.
I tried to get through the mob, asking permission, even nudging some people, but no matter how hard I tried to take a step forward, there was always a bastard blocking my way or pulling me back; They even had the decency to grab my coat and throw me off.
"Excuse me, but I need to pass"
Empty words at this situation. If they didn’t listen to the specialized people of the militancy, it was obvious that they wouldn’t listen to me, a simple doctor in practice for the legion.
"Free the leader of the Eldian empire"
"Free Eren Jaeger"
"Give us some damn answer"
"Fuck off you cheap bitch"
The day wasn’t even beginning and I was already receiving hateful comments, typical of closed minds.
I looked around for a solution, I was wasting valuable time and starting to get irritated. If I was late for my meeting with the Supreme Commander, who knows what punishment he would give me apart from my insubordination.
Besides of the mob there wasn’t much more than a few elegant houses and shops, no other entrance except the one in the backyard, but to get there, I would have to go all the way around the building and it would take much longer. The walls were too high to jump alone and too smooth to climb, otherwise enough people would have sneaked in by now.
I turned my head towards my horse, which was still in the same position where I left him, patiently awaiting my return. Surely what I was about to do wasn’t going to please him one bit.
I ran as fast as I could and unhooked him from the wooden post, ignoring the comments of the owner of the premises who was indisputably claiming for his pay. Without turning my head to such scum, I motioned for the horse to turn around and run down the avenue, against the crowd. Being at a considered distance, I again instructed him to turn around and go as fast as he could.
"I'm sorry Phillip, you're going to have to forgive me for what I'm going to do"
We were a few meters from the mob, mentally preparing myself for the feat that was about to be accomplished. Almost arriving, about to impact, I gave him a little jerk to the right, guiding us towards the wall, and raised my legs towards his back, squatting against him, waiting for the right moment and the impulse he would give when braking hard.
When he was about to slam his trunk against the wall, Phillip stopped his galloping, propelling me forward and flying toward one of the door columns. I grabbed the stone as best I could, avoiding falling on my backside, and raised my legs towards the top, finally reaching my goal. Being already on top and looking at the terrified faces of the rebels, I went down to the other side of the door, slightly hurting my feet and hands in the fall.
"That was quite a show"
Hitch was already in front of me, malicious and proud on her face. She was giving a few applause to the air, trying to lift the spirits of the people of the military squad, even if her acting was a bit cocky.
"Desperate situations call for desperate measures." I waved my hands over the coat, looking at her with the same smug visage she was giving me.
I didn't like Hitch per se, but we weren't friends either. The way she acted and talked gave me bad vibes and I planned to stay as neutral as possible in her presence. Even her gazes seemed to want to pierce the soul of whoever she was speaking to, as if she wanted to undress you internally and seek your darkest and most shameful secrets. I would stick my hands in the fire by assuming that in her younger years she had been a bully or a blackmailer.
But it was better to keep those thoughts for yourself, before generating greater repercussions in the times that hugged us.
"Did you come to see Armin and Mikasa?"
Any thoughts I had of her dissipated.
"They ... are they here?"
I was fuzzy. Not because of the fact that I was uninformed about their actions when they left the legion barracks in the morning, which I was getting used to since last year, but because they were in the same place as me. What a coincidence.
To be honest, the two of them never owed me anything and it wasn't their duty to tell me where they were going every minute of the day, just like Hange. Each one of us had their own will to go where we were sung; But if the three of us were in court, and if they gave me the chance to guess, I would say that to see the Supreme Commander, it made me a bit suspicious.
"Yes, they are talking to the Supreme Commander to try to go talk to Eren"
I must have hit my head at some point in the battle of Marley, because lately every occurrence was quite impossible to believe. They were the ones who asked me to go talk to him a few days ago, they were the ones who questioned me when I returned to the waiting room where the few survivors of 104° Squad were;it was them who gave me a compassionate look as they saw I hadn’t accomplished much and I had ended any relationship that bound me with Eren.
And now here they were, demanding an audience with their childhood friend, while I would have to be judged for the same action. Something wasn’t fitting. I looked around trying to find them, or maybe to find an answer to the thousands of questions that were forming in my head, and finding no help, I turned to Hitch.
"What is going on? Why-"
Before I could finish my question, an explosion rumbled across the cobblestone floor, hurting our ears and knocking us to the ground. Fire and debris couldn’t only be seen in the air but also smelled, flooding our nostrils, causing us to cough and cover our eyes with debris.
I looked up to find a flare coming from one of the court offices and a heavy body falling in our direction. I couldn't make it out until it fell to the ground, leaving a stain of blood and ash around it, apart from leaving a trail of smoke from where it flew off. My eyes were opened with shock and amazement, since the person in front of me was nothing more and nothing less than the same militant leader, half of the body lost and burned by the explosion.
"Well ... that's new"
In all my years of service I have seen every horror inside and outside the walls. True, even the Survey Corps had acted against the law, but it was for the greater good, to expose the bastards who lived on the wall farthest from the sea. I had seen people hit and kick another for a piece of food when the wall Maria fell. I had seen how we were massacred one by one with bullets to the head as we tried to go beyond the walls.
But never in those years I had seen a rebellion like the one taking place, being willing to eliminate such an authoritarian figure as Darius Zackly.
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The chaos went unnoticed by a large part of the population, only those who were present at the time of the explosion and the military police were aware. Faced with such an atrocious event of treason, a small meeting was convened involving the most important heads of each faction; unfortunately I couldn’t be there, my presence had been required in a clinic a few meters from the court. There were quite a few injured.
Some had mild and harmless burns, others had large parts of the body with third degree burns. Some had splinters stuck in their arms and faces, some had a piece of wood stuck in their stomach.
A couple of hours had passed which seemed like weeks to me. I had been assigned the milder cases, but as I pulled the splinters out of a patient's eyes, I had the countless howls of people echoing in my head, listening as they took their last painful breaths. People who asked to die on purpose to ease the pain.
Hours passed and welcomed the next day. I had terrible black circles under my tired eyes, hands stained with dried blood and splintered; they’re fucked up and I needed to heal them as quickly as possible before they got infected. I grabbed the cutting tools and placed them on a metal tray, the cold of the surface soothing the pain in my hands, and although it wasn’t too heavy I felt like it trembled on my grip.
I heard the door open wide at the other side of my last patient's room, the front door, letting in multiple heavy footsteps on the hardwood floor. Apparently, the soldier who had entered was in a hurry or was about to deliver terrible news...I wish I had been wrong in the second option.
"Bad news, Eren Jaeger has escaped from the underground cell"
I dropped the metal tray on my feet, making the sound of metal and utensils rumble across the room. My hands were shaking even more and surely if I saw myself in a mirror I would see my face completely pale.
"If you want to free yourself from this cell, go ahead"
My words invaded my mind like a bucket of cold water, as if they wanted to make me see that I was to blame for his escape. I knew that sooner or later he’s going to free himself, his eyes showed it and by not getting an answer that contrasted with mine, it was perfect evidence of his plans. But even knowing it, even Hange knowing it, I didn't expect him to do it in a moment of such betrayal.
I cleaned my hands as best I could with a towel hanging over the room sink and grabbed my coat, rushing out of the clinic.
"I’m sorry, I need to go"
But where to go was the question. I had no idea where Eren might be, and even if I knew what he was going to win, surely he was with his followers and with the simple image of me approaching from the horizon, I would be dead in a matter of seconds ... or imprisoned, whatever happen first.
At the exit of the clinic, there were two soldiers of the military police standing guard and watching the justice’s court from the distance. I approached them with the intention of asking them about the whereabouts of the Survey Corps, but they looked at me like I had the plague and pushed me aside hostilely, almost knocking me to the ground. I kept my composure as best I could and looked for someone else to ask; I didn’t have to wait long, since a woman of my age with mahogany hair, extremely black and matted, pointed the way where my comareds had gone. According to her words, they’re heading towards a large and luxurious building in the middle of one of the main avenues, recognizing the word restaurant from the conversation between the riders.
The only place that matched that description was the restaurant where Nicolo worked.
I hurried out with Phillip galloping through people, avoiding stepping on them and apologizing on my back. If there was something clear to me in all this mess, it was that Hange would go to find answers among the working Marleyans of that place. Maybe something could be solved.
I was very wrong.
I rushed into the building, finding only a long entrance hall and a corridor that led to god knows where. No one was even around to see me panic and I didn't see a soul nearby either, the only thing if I could hear a heated discussion far away and heavy footsteps on the floor. I let myself be guided by the sound, running back to its origins and finding a bizarre and meaningless scene in front of my eyes.
The room that seemed to be the main one hosted the orphaned children of the Blouse farm as well as Sasha's parents, sad and anguished parents if I paid better attention. The children were just as sad, with tears in their eyes, especially Kaya; they were crying the same way as on the day Sasha's death was reported. They were cornered under a window all together, hugging each other and letting the rays of the sun streaming through the window illuminate their figures, as if those rays could replace the heat that Sasha had left behind.
That scene broke my still fragile heart. I would have liked to reach out to them and try to help them move on, as I would have liked to stay on the farm with them when we came back from Marley to help them get by; obviously I could never have replaced Sasha and they could never have replaced my family, but in these times of battle, what mattered most was healing the wounds between all of us.
I would have liked to talk to them, but my eyes shifted from the Blouse family to the figure of Hange carefully placing a child on the floor. The blond boy was very badly injured on the side of his head, he was bleeding and his clothes had stuck to his body due to the large amount of liquid that had flowed down his torso.
"Hange-san, Wha-" As I stared at the blond boy on the floor, I could see that he was one of the children who had sneaked into our war balloon.
“Isn't that one of the Marleyan children? Why is he here and why is he bleeding?"
Unconsciously my body leaned forward, resting on one knee on the ground and reaching out to the boy. My instincts as a doctor were screaming for me to tend to the poor injured boy regardless of his race and I was willing to do so.
"We will take care of him, go to the room continue with Mikasa and Armin"
I got up without hesitation, taking one last look at the room I was in and it was just at that moment that I recognized Nicolo and Jean in a corner away from everyone else. They both looked very distressed, but I didn't have the opportunity to ask why, they had given me an order and I had to carry it out. I would have to wait until got back to base to understand this terrible situation.
The room they sent me to was at the end of the corridor, the door was closed but every step I took I could hear the soft voices of Mikasa and Armin, apparently talking to someone else. Well, that conversation must have to get a pause because I was about to slam the door in and leave the doors wide open.
“What the hell is going on? Why is a Marleyan child unconscious in the kitchen?"
Upon entering, all excited, my eyes only saw the figures of Armin and Mikasa around a table. They both looked up at me in disbelief when they saw me standing on the threshold. For the second time that day, I looked back across the stage in front of me and spotted a small brown-haired figure sitting at the same table. With a little more attention, I saw that the small figure was trembling, perhaps from fear or from adrenaline, at the same time that its face was bruised and full of blood; and putting all my attention on that bloody face I realized that I recognized those eyes, those same eyes that I had looked at with contempt and had looked back at me with the same feeling the night of the invasion.
The missing girl from the Marleyan duo was sitting across from me staring with sheep's eyes.
All exaltation I had in my body dissipated, my gaze fell, leaving nothing more than a neutral countenance. But ... anyone who could see through my eyes, would know they reflected the fatigue and sadness of several accumulated days. Seeing the girl was perhaps a way of attaching all the harmful feelings in a single part of my body.
I let out a long sigh and closed the door slowly behind me. I walked slowly towards where the girl was, running Mikasa to the side and looked at her with the best possible adult countenance. She had a red nose, it looked like it had been hit right on her septum causing her to bleed and stain her dress, which I assumed was courtesy of the Blouse family. Her cheek was scratched and red too, traces of broken and inflamed skin could be seen around her wound, but without any bleeding. This girl would have a swollen face the next day if we don't give her some ice.
“You’re hurt. Care to explain me what happened?"
I reached my hand out to her, but was greeted with a flinch from her. I could tell she was scared and she had every right to be.Either way, way I brought my hand to her face, placing my index finger and thumb on her jaw to move her head and look for other injuries.
Her face was the one that received the most impact, nothing in her eyes which was a very good sign, and I didn’t notice any kind of fracture in the bones of her cheek or septum. Good. I looked around the room for something I could use, but I only found empty tables adorned with a classic tablecloth and a very well elaborated and cared wine cellar, apart from showing off one of the best wine collections in recent years.
"Armin, can you go get some alcohol to disinfect the wounds? Surely they have something in the kitchen "
The blonde gave me a slight nod and left the room, leaving me alone with Mikasa, who was absolved of the situation, but still maintaining an imposing posture. The girl was still shaking on my hand, so I pushed her away and inspected her body for more injuries.
The palms of her hands were stained with blood, I guessed from the bleeding from her nose, but they also had some slight scratches, perhaps she had fallen to the floor. Her dress didn’t seem torn in the area of the knees, so I assumed that they weren’t injured or it was a very slight scratch, almost no bleeding. Her arms seemed intact as did her torso. I turned to the back of her head, running her hair gently trying to find any trace of blow that could generate a contusion. I didn’t find anything that could be fatal or serious, but I did see something that caught my attention.
“You have marks on your head, diffuse, but they are there. What happened?"
"... A horse bit me"
Of all the situations that could have led to those brands, I didn't expect to hear this one. I didn’t expect it, not at all. It caught me off guard and I let out a giggle which I covered with the back of my hand.
"Sorry, shouldn't laugh… you deserve it thou" I gave her a little pat on the top of her head before ruffling it a bit and bending down to look into her eyes.
Armin returned to the room, alcohol in hand and a clean cloth. Thank God something was clean in this whole city, I was beginning to lose my faith in the cleanliness of this people. I reached for the items and I proceeded to apply a large amount of alcohol to the cloth and apply it first to the frightened girl's cheek.
"Why are you so good to me? I killed a one of your friends"
That comment made me stop for a second, just like I stopped looking at her wound. My gaze fell to the floor in search of an answer; I searched, searched and searched for answers to questions that didn’t have one or weren’t as simple as they seemed...or simply looked in the wrong places and the answers were always in my mind, only that my heart wasn’t prepared to face them.
"The girl you killed the night of the invasion was called Sasha Blouse and she was the best archer and sniper of the legion"
I turned my gaze to her, continuing to heal her wound on her cheek. When I saw that there was only a small pink stain left on the surface, I moistened the cloth further with alcohol and ran it under her nose, removing any trace of blood. The girl pulled back a bit when she felt it’s smell her nostrils and I had the opportunity to cover her nose for a few seconds to stop the bleeding.
"You know ... you remind me of a boy exactly like you"
When I saw that the bleeding stopped and the girl stopped moving due to the burning and itching that the alcohol was surely causing, I grabbed her hands and began to clean them with small touches avoiding tearing her skin.
“Just as intense and ready to fight for what he thinks is fair. You are just a little girl who was taught that we were the bad guys. It’s the way you were raised, the way you see the world. They taught us something else, but at the end of the day, apart from everything... we are the same"
It hurt. Yes, it hurt to see the one guilty of the death of my best friend, but it hurt more to see in her eyes the hatred and contempt they had taught her towards our race. The hate cycle we were getting into wasn't going to get us anywhere and it was better to nip it in the bud, even with baby steps.
When I finished cleaning all her wounds, I put the cloth on the table and looked at my performance with deep pride. It wasn't much, but it was enough; Not only had I cleaned a few simple wounds, but perhaps, I wished that perhaps, it would begin to heal her mind ... and mine as well.
I got up heavily, noticing how my knees creaked when squatting for a long time and I stretched my body generating more crunches, but noting at the same time how the heaviness of my back left and leave behind a much lighter load.
“Very good, you’ve been a good patient. Surely there is something sweet in the kitchen that I can give you” I patted her head again and gave her a sincere smile, one that I hadn't given anyone for quite a while. I headed to the door unconcerned about the situation I assumed was still going on in the main room.
"What's going to happen to Eren Jaeger?"
What will happen to him? And why does she ask me that?
"Don't worry, I'm not letting him put a finger on you" A sincere answer to a question asked out of fear. I reached the door and in the middle of the sentence I turned the knob wanting to make my way into the hall, but a tall figure blocked my way.
Eren was right on the threshold with the intention of opening it.
Well mark me impress
My body jerked back instinctively, avoiding taking my eyes off his. I moved to the right side, avoiding the figure of the Marleyan girl from being in Eren's point of view. I didn't know why he was here or if the others knew about it, but whatever the reason, he surely wasn’t alone and this wasn’t going to lead to anything good.
"Sit down"
He took a few steps forward, closing the door with his foot, not even paying attention to his surroundings, or maybe yes, now everything was a confusion when it came to the brunette in front of us.
"You can't tell me what to do" I planted myself in front of him, without taking a step back. We were both facing each other, him carrying me several inches tall, several dominating inches that made my legs shake and my heart race.
If it had been in any other situation, that trembling, that acceleration would have been very well received. It was impossible not to feel small next to Eren, the damn bastard had hit a big stretch and there was a great difference around the body between the two, a difference that I always loved to admire.
But not now. Not at this moment when everything was going to shit and I had to stand up to the figure of a little girl who was internally dying of fear thanks to him.
"Sit. Down"
Few centimeters separated us from each other, his chest too close to mine, I could feel how it swelled with each breath. He raised his hand to my face, letting me see his cut palm and dripping blood. Fear took hold of me, making me stand even more in my position, but I wasn’t going to give in so easily.
"You wouldn't" I looked him in the eye, defiant, longed for and everything in between.
"Try me"
It was all he said before grabbing onto my shoulders and pulling me back. My body collided with the table and instinctively I placed my hands on it. I heard how Armin and Mikasa tried to get closer to where we were, but a single glance from Eren made them stay still, submissive, as they lost in their positions. His gaze returned to mine. My breath hitched and I had to avoid with all my might thinking about the position we were entwined.
It wasn’t the time to think about how my hips were slightly elevated, just my butt up on the table and one leg dangling, his knee between my legs, preventing me from closing them and keeping the leg that was hanging in the air. His gaze wandered between our bodies and he returned to my eyes. He tightened his grip on my shoulders and pushed me to the side of the table, dropping me onto the chair next to the girl.
"I said. Sit. Down"
He took his hands off my shoulders, took the seat next to me and Armin and Mikasa sat with him, leaving an air of discomfort and tension in the environment.
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Tag List: @aestosia @amberciel @sof-yeager @iwony @curseofymir @etherealkatrina @teenageweaseldonutcash @mariaerdgzn @paypay0315 @despst @kisekinokishi @crazymar15 @futuristiccashstatesmansalad @gis21345 @urinejaeger @zhilon @dianacavendishh @lucielbinon-binary @cryingforwill @erensneedyslut @ryan249057 @stardustmonkey @asahinsunakinnie @obeymekookie @witchymermaid12
#aot#snk#attack on titan#shingeki no kyojin#aot x reader#snk x reader#attack on titan x reader#shingeki no kyojin x reader#eren jaeger#eren yeager#eren x reader#eren jeager x reader#eren smut#when the world falls apart
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Messy, chaotic perfection
Summary: Family isn't just who is blood, but who is in your corner, who makes you feel loved and cared for, who is safe and who is home.
Season 8 au, goes off if Kim never miscarried, Burzek are together, and season eight still went somewhat how it did.
Warnings: mentions of canon events (shooting, foster situations).
Word Count: 3.5k
Read on AO3
Notes: This is a Feel Better fic for the amazing, incredible and so, so strong and brave Cíara (@fighterkimburgess ). Cíara I love you, you deserve the world, and you deserve to know that I (and all of us in this fandom) have your back and wish you all the best in your life ♥️
Life can be unpredictable, events that you never expect to happen can occur and feel like that was always meant to happen all along. This is a lesson Kim has learnt over and over throughout her life, but one she’s only finally beginning to fully understand it, that it’s always going to happen in ways you don’t expect.
Like today.
Today, when she woke up, Kim thought she’d have a tiring day at work with all the racists that Kevin, and by extension them since Kevin is their family, is having to deal with but that it would be relatively drama free and she and her boyfriend—which is a word, that no matter how juvenile it sounds, makes her feel all giggly inside at—would come home and have a nice relaxing evening with their daughter.
She didn’t expect Patrol to not show up when they called and she definitely did not expect Adam to get shot. But that is life, as Kim has kept learning recently.
“Careful, let me grab the door.” Kim quickly darts in front of a very impatient and unfussed Adam, moving so she can unlock and open their front door before he can. Adam sighs.
“Kim, I’m not an invalid.” He grumbles and she flashes him a glare before she opens up the door.
“Adam, you were shot.” She holds up her hand. “And no I don’t care if it’s was in the vest. You were shot and you were lying there and I thought you were dead. And now you’ve got a bruise on your chest and Will said that you have to take it easy—it could affect your lungs if you overwork yourself.”
Kim already knows that she’s probably going to spend the next few weeks seeing Adam lying there on the grass whenever she shuts her eyes. Just like she knows that Adam gets why she’s being so fussy, even if he’s being his typical bad patient self.
“I can still open doors. You know I like opening our door for you,” At that, Kim turns away from the door, facing Adam. She closes what little distance they had between them, resting her hands gently on his chest.
“I know, but you’re injured. Let me look after you. And—we’ve only just found our way back together again, I don’t want to loose you, and I don’t want our daughter to loose you.” Adam’s eyes soften and he gently kisses her forehead.
“Yeah. I’m sorry, darlin’. I’m just stubborn.”
If this had happened years ago, this probably would’ve ended up making an even bigger dent in their relationship, and god knows if they’d be able to communicate—and truly understand each other back then. But they’re not those young people now, they’ve grown and learnt so much, and are completely dedicated to making this work.
Especially because they’re parents.
“Hey, Ally!” Adam is immediately greeting their six month old as soon as they enter the flat, Kim not far behind, the two parents cooing over her instantly.
“Can you hold her?” Trudy gives Adam a wary eye, holding the child she, without hesitation, claimed as her granddaughter. Normally they’d have their nanny here, taking care of Ally, but given that Adam was shot and had to be looked over, Trudy had relieved their nanny instead, just in case they arrived home later than usual.
“You’re as bad as Kim, of course I can,” Adam grumbles again, mostly with good humour. Still, Trudy glances at Kim just to double check, who nods and then Trudy is helping to pass the girl to her father. Usually, Adam would scoop the girl out of her arms with ease, but—showing that he is taking Will seriously, or at least their daughter’s safety seriously—he had hesitated, waited for Trudy to help.
“You should sit down, I’ll get dinner on.” Kim tells him. She then looks at Trudy. “Are you staying or going home? You’re welcome, of course.”
“I’ll leave the three of you be. Randall has his shift in the morning.” Trudy kisses her granddaughter good-bye—leaning down to do so, Ally babbling in Adam’s arms on the sofa—and then it’s just the three of them.
If you had told her a year and a half ago that this would be her life, Kim would struggle to belief you. Adam and her felt like history, something that never had the timing it deserved and that they’d only be relegated to friends with benefits.
And being a Mom? That was so far out from the cards Kim was dealt, she didn’t think it would happen for quite a few years, and even then, it felt like a impossible and distant thought.
But she has both. A relationship with Adam that is strong and decent and a proper, communicating relationship and the beautiful daughter who made it possible.
At first, Adam and her were determined to be co parents only. More her than him, if she was honest, but he understood her side.
But then Kim hit her second trimester and with it her renewed sex drive and inability to keep her hands off him and platonic co parents got more and more unbelievable—especially as they moved in together.
The reasons why they decided to just be platonic still hung over their head, however, and so they had to have a serious conversation—several, in fact—about their relationship and what it would look like and be like. They both knew that with a child in the mix, they had to be committed and determined because their baby would be impacted.
Kim did have worries about it, about if they could keep communicating and not fall back on old habits, but by the time Ally came along, their relationship had only grown stronger. The new-born stage is a tough time for parents, and they had their moments, but that only brought them even more closer and Kim now no longer has any of those worries.
Domestic bliss is something she’s always wanted to have, alongside a fulfilling job, and there’s days Kim can’t quite believe that she’s found it.
Her life isn’t perfect, no life is. And there’s tensions at work, and with their best friend going through some horrific stuff, life doesn’t feel easy. But they have each other, and they have Ally, and Kim keeps feeling like she’s reached as close to perfection as she could have.
When she was younger, Kim imagined that having perfection would be calm, would be peaceful. And maybe for others it is, but it’s not for her. There’s always some madness in her life; she’s a cop, after all. And she’s learned to appreciate the short peaceful moments that she gets. But sometimes, sometimes life is just quiet.
It had been a few weeks of quiet that Kim had realised her life hadn’t had any madness in it. Her and Adam were just going about their routine, day in, day out, watching as Ally continued to grow and marvel them and she realised that.
And then she knew instantly that the madness was coming.
It came the next day.
Adam and her had just picked up their morning coffee from a coffee shop. It had been a while since they could, usually having to make do with the district coffee—having a baby means time is precious and money is dear—but they did this morning, the two of them in a good mood and having a ridiculous conversation about boats.
And then there was a lost six year old girl walking through the road.
Everything got a lot more busy after that, as they tracked down her family and worked out what had happened.
Being a Mom has definitely changed Kim, and she had to go into a corner—Adam joining her, wrapping his arms around her—and have a little cry in the locker room. All she could think about her daughter, her Ally, loosing her family like that and it activated the still distantly present hormones leftover from her pregnancy.
And it made her more determined to help the little girl, Makayla, especially when the girl had apparently bonded to her. Kim was told that she was the best person to talk to her, and even though she’s a mother, she had doubted her abilities. There’s a difference between her baby who’s just learning to talk and move about to a traumatized six year old but the doubts were misplaced, Kim managing to get that connection.
Makayla had wanted her to come to the safe house with her, which Kim did. Luckily Adam was by Trudy’s desk and he gave her nod, telling her that Ally and him will be okay. Still, Kim was glad that she’s already had a night away from her daughter so that she could go with Makayla, so that she didn’t have to let down this vulnerable girl who needed her just as much.
The safe house had turned out to not be so safe, and Kim’s mama bear instincts—as Adam has affectionately coined—kicked in and she instantly said she’ll be taking Makayla home, no questions.
Of course, she had glanced at Adam, silently checking with him. Adam had nodded again.
“Ally’s already with her grandparents so yes, Makayla will be staying with us.” Adam had immediately supported her, his voice just as firm and decided. Kim had already worked out Ally was with Trudy and Mouch, as he was there and they are their emergency babysitters but she felt so lucky to have a partner who was willing to not have the night with his daughter for what she wants.
Seeing Adam interact with Makayla that night had made Kim’s insides twist, and she wonders if they might end up accidentally conceiving a second baby soon with how his paternalism stirred feelings inside her.
It left her feeling sadder than Kim would’ve thought to say goodbye to Makayla after everything was sorted, an emptiness in her heart. The girl had made an impact on her and it felt wrong to end the story there.
That night, Kim had hugged Ally close to her, Adam arm wrapped around her as he cuddled up to them.
“I think I want another,” Kim had said, and Adam choked. She had laughed, then, careful not to wake the sleeping baby on her chest.
“Not now or anytime soon. One baby is enough at one time. But in the future. This—us—being a family, it feels right and as perfect as our family is, I want it to be bigger.” She had explained. She’d have been nervous, but this is Adam, possibly the only person she knows whole heartedly that she can be herself, no judgement.
“Darlin’, nothing would make me happier.” He had kissed her temple firmly then, lacing their hands together and Kim got that feeling of perfect domestic bliss again.
“I’d say let’s have another right now but, yeah, one baby is enough. Although we could practice?” He then joked and Kim rolled her eyes at him.
It isn’t that long after that they’re at social services and Kim spots that precious six year old who, if Kim is honest with herself, hadn’t left her thoughts since, every few days Kim wondering if she’s okay, if she’s settling and adjusting and if the cousin Cathy would need to call her.
“Kim!” Makayla immediately runs to her, hugging her and Kim’s heart twists and constricts, warming at the gesture but breaking that she’s here.
They’re in the middle of a turbulent case, a case that plagues Kim, but her mind is still spilt, focused on worrying about Makayla.
“Where were you?” Adam asks her when she gets back from Cathy’s. Kim knows that she should’ve told him before, that going off alone like this when in a relationship and a parent isn’t how she should be behaving but as the couple’s therapist they went to say said, sometimes Kim can have tunnel vision. It’s something she’s working on, but sometimes she reverts back, like when a six year old needs her.
“I went to see Makayla’s Cathy.” Kim then tells him, and she tells him all about it.
“What if I take her in?” The words fall out Kim’s mouth before she can really process them. It’s nothing she should say, not just for the reasons Makayla’s social worker lists. But because Kim isn’t an I anymore. She’s in a relationship and she’s a mother. This isn’t just her life, but she can’t get Makayla—or the bond they have—out of her head.
After the conversation with her social worker, Kim sees Kevin. She wonders if she should ask him about this, about his siblings and that decision, knowing that he’ll have value to add to the conversation, especially as a black man. But she stops herself, knowing that she’s getting that tunnel vision again, that she needs to discuss this with Adam before she spirals too fast.
“I want to foster Makayla.” It isn’t the most tactful conversation, or the best place for it. But Kim’s mind is in overdrive and all she can think about is how she could feel at six, feeling like only Nicole loved her, and about that precious girl, and her own daughter.
“Us. I want us to foster Makayla.” Kim quickly amends, because they’re a team. Everything they do, they do together. They’re entwined and interlinked and the only way to make the relationship successful is by accepting and respecting that.
It’s a long conversation. It’s really not the time or place but that’s something that just doesn’t matter as much as talking. Kim tells Adam all about why she does, and he talks about how he feels. That he gets it, that he would want to give her a home just as much but has she thought this through.
They work out if they want it to only be temporary, how they’ll do it with Ally, if they’re ready and if they’re only doing this because they’re adapting to being parents, parents who often felt unloved as a child.
And they grab Kevin, adding him to the discussion, getting his two cents.
And then they come to a decision—that they should take Makayla home and they’re jumping into action. Kim calling the social worker, Adam arranging for Ally to be at her grandparents for the night as they get Makayla settled.
Everything picks up after that, quiet days rarely a thing even more than before.
They get Makayla into school, sets up their home so it feels more like hers, they get her into therapy and family therapy. They introduce her to Kevin, knowing he will have to play an important role in their foster daughter’s life.
Makayla adores Ally from the first time they meet, treating her with such care and love and Ally immediately bonds to her. It fills Kim with such joy and affection, and makes her heart feel so, so soft.
Kim was worried that them having Ally already would make Makayla feel like an add on, but it has the opposite affect, making her feel more like part of the family—two weeks in, Makayla tells Kim that she always wanted a little sister, and Kim’s happy that she may not have been able to save Makayla’s family, but at least she could do something.
It’s not smooth sailing. It’s tough and it’s work. Nights were hell, Makayla waking up screaming and rousing Ally, but it gets better, especially after they get Makayla trouble dolls. It’s an adjustment, for sure, but it’s fulfilling.
For Adam too, who’s taken to calling Makayla his lil darlin’ and all three of them his girls. Kim already knew he is a great dad, but seeing him dress up and play with Makayla, and being so calm and loving through her trauma just reaffirms that over and over, making Kim feel so happy that she gave them another chance.
Makayla is family long before the adoption going through.
Mack is one of the first words Ally says, reaching for her sister as she did so. Kim—and Adam, as they discussed it later—will never forget the utterly joyful grin that had spread across Makayla’s face at that.
“Ally said my name!” Makayla had exclaimed to them happily, and proceeded to tell everyone she saw over the next week, her excitement and joy never waning.
Trudy and Mouch immediately accept Makayla as another grandchild and the rest of the family treats Makayla like she belongs. Kim never had any doubts, but it warmed her heart to see how much Makayla clearly loved and was taken by it—and how it made her feel so much more settled, knowing she’s gained so much family even after loosing so much.
Sylvie takes it upon herself to be her honorary godmother and Makayla quickly learns that Sylvie is one of the best to play princesses with. Stella comes with Sylvie one day and Makayla is immediately enamoured by her, and soon Stella decides Makayla needs two godmothers.
The Atwaters are an essential part of their family, as they help Makayla keep that connection to her black culture, helping to make sure her identity doesn’t get lost and that she doesn’t feel like she has to pick sides between her old and new life.
Makayla and Uncle Kev have a day every month, just them, doing whatever they want. It’s not even about doing anything relating to their shared skin tone, but just a routine to establish that Kevin is there for her.
Jordan takes to Makayla quickly, as well, finding her cute and endearing. He tells them that she reminds him of Vinessa at that age, and quickly starts calling her his little cousin—another thing that Kim knows helps makes her feel like part of the family.
Makayla loves her ‘big cousin', Jordan often teaching her age appropriate jokes and helping her play harmless pranks. He also teaches her some dance moves, and laughs with her when she tries to teach Adam them, who fails spectacularly.
Jordan loves Ally as well, having seen Kim as part of his family for years but Kim knows that they’ll never have the bond that Jordan and Makayla have, and it’s something that makes her feel warm and fuzzy inside—that Makayla with have things that’s just hers, that she won’t ever feel like she’s in her little sister’s shadow. It’s important, Kim thinks, and she’s glad of it. Makayla is no less her daughter than Ally and deserves to never feel like she is.
Makayla is family before she is legally, before she’s adopted into a family who barely has any blood in common anyway. But the day the adoption goes through is a joyous day for all of them.
“I love you.” Makayla has said it to them before, and more to Ally. But that day she says it and it’s louder than a shy whisper but firm and sure and Kim can’t help getting teary eyed as they hug her, assuring their daughter that they love her too, so much.
“Thank you for wanting to be my mom and dad.” Makayla says that night, so earnestly and Kim tears up again, Adam too. And nothing has ever felt so right. Kim knows she’ll never replace her mom, and she doesn’t want to, and she knows that Makayla might not ever call them mom and dad but they are and Makayla sees them as that and it feels so right.
“We’ve got two daughters.” Kim giggles against Adam’s chest that night, when everyone is asleep.
“That we do. And we got to skip the baby stage so we could get our two daughters straight away,” Adam replies, referencing their conversation from the night Makayla went home with Cathy. Kim laughs again, cuddling against her fiancé—as of a week ago.
Life is unpredictable. It’s messy and chaotic and full of madness, and Kim’s learnt and accepted that. And life is wonderful and amazing, and not despite of that, but because of that.
Two years ago, Kim would not see herself like this. In bed with Adam, her fiancé, their two daughters sleeping and feeling like she’s got the most perfect life. And it’s all because life is unpredictable.
Kim used to think that perfect meant calmness. And then she thought that can’t be her life, because she’s choose a mad and crazy life, a life not designed to be calm. But as she lies in bed that night, Adam cuddling her, Kim knows that’s wrong.
Life does mean calmness, but not because her life is quiet and calm, but because it’s messy and chaotic. It’s messy and chaotic and it’s hers. She has all what she ever wanted, fulfilled in all areas, and it doesn’t matter if it’s unpredictable because that’s the beauty of it.
There’s such a peace and calmness inside of her, an ease that has been brought on only by the messy, imperfection and unplanned events of her life—and that’s what makes everything feel perfect; perfect within the chaos.
#burzek#chicago pd#kim burgess x adam ruzek#burzek fic#chicago pd fanfiction#ree writes#ree's.writing#Cíara tag
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[Tales from the Pack] Hansol: Fire and Ice (Part Six)
Characters: Hansol x female reader
Genre/warnings: werewolf au, fantasy, angst, the smallest bit of fluff just bc hansol’s optimistic and a sweetheart
Word count: 2,420
Summary: You’ve always been one to let your emotions get the best of you – your power reflects that – and you’ve never been good at expressing them. That’s why you always thought you’d be awful with a mate, but you never thought things would be this awful.
a/n: things in bold are in english. also this takes place the same night as the last part but it explains where hansol was when minghao couldn’t find him, and what happened to his mate after she woke up. AND it does talk about rika and baekhyun and i used to have a series for them called amend buuuut i also took that down to redo it lmao so there’s not really much backstory on them other than what i have for star crossed so if you’re confused, that’s ok lmao
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Hansol sat on the lawn as he usually did, staring up at the stars. He always wondered if you were looking at the stars, too. He wondered if you even liked looking stars, or what you preferred looking at instead. Did you like watching the clouds or animals in the forest? Did you like watching snow fall in the winter or rain fall in the summer? Did you still find staring at the fire comforting and pleasing even though you could easily form it effortlessly at your fingertips?
You were all Hansol thought about, and truthfully, he waited up every night for you. He never once felt you were in danger, and he knew he could find you quickly if there was danger. But for now, he was giving you space. He was just hoping you’d come back to him. If you did, he’d go see that doctor your pack recommended. If not, then he’d already be dead before the pain could get any worse – unless the silver managed to kill him first, in which case, it wouldn’t really matter anyway.
Hansol heard the front door open and shut before he heard somebody walking in the grass. He could smell Seokmin’s scent, so he knew it was him coming over.
“I’m about to go to bed, and everyone else is already in their rooms,” he told the younger boy. “I just wanted to see if you needed anything.”
“Actually,” Hansol spoke up, peeling his gaze away from the night sky to look at Seokmin, “I’ve been thinking...”
“About what?” Seokmin wondered as he sat down beside his brother.
“It’s been about a week since everything,” he began, staring at the grass between the two of them, “so I think it’s safe to go look back at the old house.”
Seokmin didn’t understand why Hansol would feel any need going back there. No doubt everything would be burned to the ground. Any belongings they had were what was left in their house, or what was put there by your pack in preparation for them to move in.
“Look for what?” he asked.
Hansol’s golden eyes practically sparkled when he looked up at Seokmin, “Something of Jiung’s or Chanseong’s. I want to give it to _____.”
“When?” Seokmin scoffed. “I don’t mean to sound mean, Sol, but do you even know if she’ll come back to you?”
“I’d go leave it at the house,” he shrugged. “I won’t go see her if she doesn’t want me to, so I’d just leave it there and go.”
“What are you expecting to find, exactly? You know there won’t be any bodies.”
“There might be. Or maybe there’s something small that didn’t get completely burned. I don’t know.”
As Hansol pushed himself off of the ground, Seokmin looked up at him, “Are you leaving right now?”
“Yeah,” he shrugged. “Do you wanna come help me?”
Seokmin sighed but got up as well, “Somebody has to keep you out of trouble.”
“Okay, Mr. Thunder-and-Lightning,” Hansol chuckled as the two brothers walked closer to the edge of their property and into the woods, “I think you are the trouble.”
“Hey, I helped!” Seokmin insisted.
“Yeah, helped Jooyeon have a heart attack,” Hansol laughed as the two disappeared into the thick brush.
-
You woke from your nightmare with tears streaming down your face. You’d been doing this a lot lately: crying so hard you’d wake yourself up. But this time, it was better that you woke up in the middle of the night. It was the perfect time to slip out unnoticed.
Ever since that first day after Jiung died, you felt the alpha pull to Hanbin. It was supposed to be you, but it never was. You tried to pretend, but nothing changed. You were never fit to be an alpha like Jiung, but you knew Hanbin would do a good job to protect the others.
Before you left, you got out a pen and some paper and wrote a quick note to Rin. You knew this would have the biggest impact on her, but you couldn’t stay here. If you weren’t an alpha like you were supposed to be, what was the point? It was like you didn’t belong here, but you definitely knew you didn’t belong with Seungcheol’s pack – not after you denied Hansol. To be truthful, you didn’t even really feel the tie to the pack anymore, not after the two days spent with Hansol. So you were going to just…go. You didn’t know what you’d do, but you’d either figure it out eventually or you’d die – whichever came first.
But you also knew Rin would have her mate soon enough considering she often went out and followed him around. Sure, he didn’t know since Rin kept herself invisible, but just knowing where her mate was and knowing he was doing okay was what you assumed would help her cope. It was why she was hidden the entire time his pack was here: she didn’t want her mate to see her and imprint on her – not until she learned how to speak to him, at least. So you hoped she’d be okay after you left, and that she’d learn Korean to finally go introduce herself to him. He seemed like a nice enough guy, anyway. He’d definitely help her get better and would make sure she was happy.
Rin,
When you read this, I’ll be gone. I don’t know where I’m going, but please don’t look for me. I know you’ll think I betrayed you by leaving, and I won’t try to make any excuses for myself. You were alone when Jiung and Chanseong you here, and all you had was us to rely on. I always promised to stick beside you, and I’m completely breaking that promise. I know you’ll hate me, and I deserve it. But I want you to know I still love you, and I hope you’ll do okay. And try not to stress so much – your mate will love you no matter what.
Please take care of yourself.
-_____
You left the note on your pillow before grabbing Jiung’s sweater that you left laying over the back of your chair, tugging it over your head, and going to the window. You pushed the window open before leaping out and landing softly on your feet before you ran into the woods, leaving behind your home, and the pack you used to consider family.
-
The wolves could already smell that burnt smell from the house, but they continued to run in their wolf forms until they were closer. They didn’t shift back until they reached the clearing where their house used to stand. But now, everything was reduced to rubble and ash.
“Shit…” Seokmin mumbled, looking around the plot of land they used to call home.
A place that once held bright and lively memories now looked dark and dead. They couldn’t believe this was the same place they used to run around and play. They couldn’t believe a large, warm house once stood here. On the other hand, they couldn’t believe that said house was now destroyed. It was all just a bunch of ash and useless pieces of debris.
“I’m gonna sift through some of this and see if there’s anything we can take back,” Seokmin said, gesturing toward the largest pile of dark ash.
Hansol just went over to where he last remembered seeing Jiung, all but ignoring Seokmin. There were small piles of ash around the house, which must’ve been all the dead or severely injured that they couldn’t save. There were even some detached body parts mixed in, but thankfully that stench was covered by the smell of the burned house that attacked his nose.
He reached the general area and got down on his bare knees, sifting through the ashes. He felt bad disturbing anything that might be a body, but he was determined to find something – anything – to make you feel like you could have even a little bit of closure. Hansol just wanted you to be happy.
Something suddenly caught his eye. It was something gold that shone in the moonlight above, which was what made him notice it. He brushed away some of the ash before picking up some sort of pendant on a thin gold chain. It was a plain gold circle, no bigger than a small coin, and it had Jiung’s first initial and your first initial engraved on it with a dot in between the two letters. Jiung and _____.
Hansol let the chain dangle from his teeth – he obviously didn’t have pockets, and that’s how he’d have to carry it in wolf form anyway – before searching through the rest in case there was anything else. He found a ring that had a date engraved on it as well. He wasn’t sure what it was, but he figured he should bring it just in case.
“Hansol!” Seokmin called as he rushed over with a few books in his arms. “I found a photo album, one of Danbi’s books, and a few picture frames that made it out.”
“Good job,” the younger wolf smiled. “Let’s get back to the house before sunrise, yeah?”
So the two shifted before Seokmin collected the small stack of things in his mouth, and the two raced off to their new home, happy with the small things they were able to find.
-
Hansol and Seokmin could hear their names being called before they even got close to home. They picked up their pace, Hansol howling to let them know they were nearby and safe.
When they finally made it back to the house, almost all the wolves were outside, waiting for the pair to return. Seokmin immediately dropped what he had in his mouth, but Hansol kept the ring and the necklace balanced carefully between his teeth.
Jihoon looked down at the ground, scanning over the things Seokmin brought before looking at the two wolves, “Did– Did you two go back to the house?! Are you kidding me?! You both could’ve gotten killed!”
Seokmin whined but Hansol didn’t regret it. He got what he was looking for.
“Jia’s been looking for you,” Seungcheol told Hansol.
The boy carefully placed the jewelry in the grass before shifting and collecting his two items, “Why?”
The eldest alpha sighed, running a hand through his dark hair, “_____ ran away from her pack.”
Hansol paused like he was trying to see if his instincts were about to suddenly warn him about his mate, but when nothing happened, he shrugged, “She’s okay.”
“What?” Soonyoung gasped. “You’re not even gonna go check on her?”
“No, she wants her space,” he insisted. “If something bad happens, then I’ll go find her, but until then, me smothering her won’t help.”
Junhui pointed at the gold pieces of jewelry that the younger wolf held, “What’re those?”
“They’re gifts,” he replied, smiling softly to himself as he looked down at the jewelry in the palm of his hand, “for _____.”
-
Maybe Rika was right. Maybe Baekhyun was the worst. Maybe you should’ve listened to the tiny mate whenever she complained about him. But you always found Baekhyun pretty enjoyable since he had about the same snarky attitude as Rin. But now, you were deciding to reconsider that.
Had he not had been sniffing around your property, you wouldn’t have been caught. Had he not been having issues with not only his mate -- if you could call her that -- and his pack, he wouldn’t have stopped you.
Had Chanyeol not been worried when he realized his brother was missing and gone out to find him, you would’ve gotten away.
“Can’t burn me if I burn too, _____,” Chanyeol sang as he forcefully carried you to their house.
But you had stressed that you didn’t want anyone knowing about this. Baekhyun couldn’t tell Rika, and neither of them could snitch on you to their pack. And considering the mental state they found you in, even Baekhyun knew not to double-cross you even though he just replied with, “I’ll think about it”.
Sneaking you inside was easy because the pack was asleep. So Chanyeol brought you up to Baekhyun’s room before setting you on the bed while Baekhyun shut the door. Then he turned to look at you, quirking an eyebrow while Chanyeol just studied you with furrowed brows.
“So...what happened?” Baekhyun quizzed.
He knew what happened to your alpha already. Their pack was friends with yours, and there was also the tie to Rika. But he didn’t understand what caused you to suddenly snap.
“I don’t have to tell you,” you told him, your arms crossed over your chest.
He shrugged, “Fair. But if you’re missing, I’m sure your pack will go looking for you when they realize, and then they’ll tell us what’s going on. And Rika will love me for saving her sister from a mental break.”
Your eyes widened, “I’m not going back.”
“You’re not going to do something stupid, either,” Chanyeol stated.
“I wasn’t!” you insisted. “I was just running away, okay?”
Baekhyun bit the inside of his cheek. He figured you must’ve realized that wasn’t the pack you belonged in anymore. They knew Hanbin was the alpha when they saw him last, sensing the authority radiating off of him and the way the pack acted around him. It was obvious.
But they didn’t know why you weren’t the alpha. So where did you belong?
“Is it because--”
“Where’re you gonna go?” Baekhyun cut off Chanyeol before he could ask a stupid question.
You just shrugged, “I don’t know. I can take care of myself, though.”
While Baekhyun would’ve rather just had you stay with them, he knew Junmyeon especially would ask a lot of question. And it was obvious you didn’t want to be bothered with that. Not only that, but he’d contact Hanbin.
Finally, he let out a sigh and grabbed your upper arm, “C’mon, let’s go.”
“Go where?” you asked.
He brought you to his bedroom door, whispering, “I’m gonna stay at the hut with you so I can know you’re safe, but so you’ll be away from everybody.”
You were surprised Baekhyun was doing something to help you, but you didn’t say anything else to him until you were out of the house and a good distance away.
“Won’t your pack wonder where you went?” you pointed out.
He just shrugged, “Eh, probably not.”
#seventeen#hansol#vernon#seventeen au#seventeen imagine#seventeen scenario#seventeen oneshot#seventeen fanfic#werewolf!seventeen#hansol au#hansol imagine#hansol scenario#hansol oneshot#hansol fanfic#werewolf!hansol#vernon au#vernon imagine#vernon scenario#vernon oneshot#vernon fanfic#werewolf!vernon
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K-pop’s Jae Park on the panic attack that triggered him to deal with his mental health issues
Jae Park of Day6 realised he hasn’t been doing well for a long time while on a car ride in April, when he was thinking he was going to die.
The 28-year-old K-pop singer-guitarist later learned he wasn’t having a heart attack, but was experiencing an intense panic attack born out of his struggle with anxiety.
“When you come to this … I wouldn’t say peaceful resolution, but a very frightening resolution that, ‘Yeah, I might die in here and I’m going to have to accept that,’ your perspective on things kind of changes,” he reveals.
“I realised I was putting things off for so, so long that I’d become numb to the fact that it was slowly physically manifesting. I was always a believer that you can just ride things out, even if you’re sick you go on stage and start working, and you won’t feel sick any more. Even if you have a headache, you sleep, you wake up, you feel better. I was always that kind of person. But it didn’t feel like that in that car ride.”
Now Park, who typically is known just as “Jae” in the K-pop world, is in a better place; he’s working on facing the circumstances of his life and making changes to take care of himself, including taking medication that helps take the edge off.
“I’ve been feeling a lot better, and learning more and more. After it happened I started delving deeper into the mental health aspect of what was going on with me as a person,” he says.
“[Poor} mental health isn’t a choice you make, but something that occurs to you due to your choices. You don’t choose whether to allow yourself to succumb to it, you just over time build up to the point where eventually everything crumbles down. You ignore your worries.
“You sweep everything under the rug, all your emotions, enough times for [it] to flip over eventually with everything on top of it.”
He’s since made it his aim to spread awareness of the impact of toxic positivity and of the importance of treating mental health as normally as treating physical health, because he spent the majority of his life unaware of the connection and the potential of his mental state to impact his physical health.
“It’s not something I want people to go through, so if I can do anything in this world before I leave it, let’s raise some awareness. And so if maybe someone has an episode like me, they’ll be able to look back on my interview or see through the campaign that, ‘Oh, this might be a panic attack.’
“I’ve since learned after that incident that a lot of panic attack first-timers assume they’re having heart attacks. It’s this imminent feeling that you’re going to die. On the walk home, I was crying.
“I don’t know if it was tears of joy or fear, but I just remember crying a lot.”
Why Jae Park launched his clothing line
Jae recently teamed up with charitable apparel brand Represent to launch his From Friends clothing line, one of the aims of which is to remind people that it is okay to turn to friends when they’re having a rough time, rather than always putting on a happy face and pushing emotions aside.
“I really wanted to let people know that it’s okay not to be okay. That’s what caused me not being able to function. If you’re still at a stage where you’re not sure if you’re okay, talk to friends. Talk about it, and realise you may be going through something bigger than you think.
“I’m not saying over-exaggerate every emotional hurdle you jump over, but I knew what I was doing when I was sweeping things under the rug.
“If you’re not at that point where you have to get on medication or need therapy or some other kind of treatment, you need to maybe stop what you’re doing and look at yourself real quick before you have an incident.”
Through the collaboration, Jae and Represent donated US$100,000 to the Jed Foundation, an organisation combating mental health stigma and raising awareness of suicide prevention among America’s youth. The artist grew up in California and only began pursuing a career in South Korea’s music world while taking a break from college back in 2012.
Jae wants to focus on talking about the experience with younger people, because he wishes someone had told him about the potential impact of ignoring mental health.
“‘From Friends’ was a thought that I had, that it would be more personable and relatable if the message came from a friend. ‘As a friend, I want to let you know that I screwed myself over by doing this, so this is my advice to you and I hope you take a look at yourself.’ Not the ‘yes’ men around you, your friends who are always telling you things are great even when they aren’t. Real friends will tell you when something is wrong. ‘You don’t seem like yourself these days, maybe take a step back and look at yourself?’”
Following his panic attack in the car and starting on medication, Jae said some of his friends pointed out to him he’s a bit more solemn and has a less bright personality.
There is stigma about mental health medication in this regard, but Jae feels it’s not impacting him negatively, but rather he’s able to rein in his need to be overenthusiastic and upbeat to compensate for feeling low.
One thing Jae really wants to combat is toxic positivity, which he feels he was constantly leaning into prior to his panic attack in April; he would often attempt to put on a good face and put good energy into the world in a way that’s idealised without internalising his own feelings.
He says he’s still learning to really understand the idea, but thinks it’s along the lines of not really believing something but saying it regardless to try to seem a certain way publicly, or manifesting good energy when it’s not necessarily there.
Jae feels his chosen field of work hasn’t necessarily helped the situation, and he’s grappling with that while trying to raise discussions.
Is K-pop part of the problem?
“Especially, I feel like [K-pop] idols are … supposed to uphold a standard of perfection, but that in itself I think is a form of toxic positivity. It’s extremely, extremely toxic, more than most people think. We’re role models, right?
“If we’re always picture perfect, squeaky shiny, and always for the right causes, never have an opinion [on] anything, what happens when the people who look up to us have an opinion? When they’re not squeaky perfect? If they’re comparing themselves to us, they may think, ‘My favourite singer is always happy. He’s always cheery. But I’m sad. That’s strange.’ What kind of role model is that?”
Change is happening slowly in the industry, and artists are increasingly talking about their own states of mental health. The past few years have seen several K-pop artists go on hiatus to take care of themselves. But there’s still more work to do, according to Jae.
“I think people need to be more real. I think people need to be more transparent. Mental health has become a wider known issue these days, so I think more people are open to talking about it.
“We preach that it’s okay to be normal, but it’s not something that we actually show, don’t actually act on. We preach it all the time: ‘It’s okay not to be okay.’ You see it in the songs everywhere. But I feel like the same artists who sing these songs and the same people who say these things publicly are the same people who always are perfect on the red carpet, never transparent enough to show who they actually are as a person.
“I feel like that in itself is a kind of hypocrisy. I try to be as human as I can while upholding a certain standard because I recognise and respect the culture [of being a celebrity].”
It was upholding the unrealistic standards that Jae in part thinks led things to get so bad, as he was always thinking about the perceptions of others and reining himself in.
A comment a fan made on social media about it being a good thing that he was less likely to share an opinion while speaking in Korean, rather than in English, helped him realise the intensity of what he was doing: because there is an idea that having opinions as a public person can lead to trouble, some fans of a group may not want band members to reflect their true opinions, and he had internalised the burden of that feeling regarding opinions to the extreme.
“It’s so ridiculous to me,” he admits. “That having an opinion could have any sort of connotation of being negative. I feel like having an opinion is never the problem. Having a strange and maybe immoral or unjust opinion, that’s definitely the problem. We as a society have come to a point where you can’t say anything without being judged.”
Now, he’s trying to be more forthright and earnest while expressing himself, and trying not to internalise the opinions of every random person who has opinions on his opinions, and thus has more or less stopped reading comments on social media.
“My emotional energy can be used better somewhere else, and I only have a certain amount every day,” he admits. “If people are going to hate me for what I think, they’re going to hate me regardless, so I’m just trying to be more open about everything now. No bubble of protection, no filter, no safety being on any more. If they don’t like it, that’s just me.
“I removed that filter because I thought it was one of the reasons I had that panic attack in the first place. I think I was right, because I’ve been having less and less [incidents]. Biting your tongue is necessary in many situations, but biting it to the extent that I was biting it because of boundaries I wasn’t allowed to cross, or certain opinions I was told I couldn’t uphold, that was what was hurting me the most.”
Making his own music, and the future
Following the incident, Jae spent much of 2020 not actively taking part in the activities of Day6, and focused on releasing his own music under the name “eaJ”. Through several releases, he explored his own artistry rather than thinking about what audiences want to hear, and focused on finding what he likes, trying to garner respect for his musical capabilities, and consider what he wants out of his career.
He feels like he succeeded at that, and hopes 2021 bears the fruit of the seeds he planted last year.
“Music gets my imagination going; using my emotional energy on a song or recording session, that seems like a lot more fruitful than worrying about a comment that I can’t do anything about regardless.”
One thing that inspired him to share some solo work with the world was the realisation of how much it was impacting him that his musical worth within Day6 wasn’t getting much recognition.
“We as a team are always involved in the songs, and it felt really discrediting and disheartening to hear that some members were more recognised than others. [I thought} ‘Maybe it’s time you start following your own career path and showing your own colours.’”
Three members of the band released an album in August, but Jae and the group’s other vocalist-guitarist, Sungjin, both sat it out. Jae admits that his hiatus from the band since early May wasn’t exactly his idea.
“It may be a bit of a surprise for some people to hear, but I was never someone that said, ‘I need a break.’ I was like, ‘I’ll get better.’ I was thinking, ‘I might need a little bit of time, but you guys get on it first.’ To be honest, I will be thriving, and Day6 will be, with the next album. When everyone is ready, I’ll be good.”
Overall, Jae says he’s optimistic and looking forward to a successful, healthy 2021. “I’m definitely recovering, and hopefully moving in the right direction,” he says.
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I Don’t Own an IPhone: Wanna Trade? 4
Masterlist
Previous: “Lila must have been akumatized again,” Nino said getting up and dragging Jon out of the store.“Let’s fix this,” Adrien said to Alya and Chloe who rolled their eyes.“Don’t think we didn’t see the way you were staring Jon up and down, it wasn’t cute,” Alya said as Trixx came out of her jacket.“Seriously Adriekins, do you even know what you want?” Chloe asked putting her comb in her hair.“Women,” Adrien sighed. “Plagg claws out!”
AHHHHHHH this was supposed to come out yesterday but I forgot to que it!
Chapter 4: Turtles and Dinner Dates
Pollinator and Hoodwink glared at Chat as they jumped through the city chasing after the akumatized Lila.
Jon watched in bewilderment as Nino’s hand tightened on his wrist dragging him through back alleyways in the opposite direction. “Nino, where are we going? Alya, Chloe, and Adrien are still back at the cafe,” Jon asked pulling back against Nino’s grip.
“It’s better to split up during attacks trust me,” Nino said trying to come up with an excuse praying that Jon didn’t see through it.
Alya looked at the earrings in her hands sighing, she would either have to put them in now or come back later and deal with the butterfly and akumatized object in order to use the lucky charm. She could always use a mirage.
“I am Myth Weaver and I make lies become reality! Adrien Agreste will love me,” Weaver said waving a wand in the air and Chat’s eyes widened before extending his staff out to her stopping the motion.
“Don’t let her cast any more spells,” Chat said and the girls rolled their eyes.
“Yeah, we’ll try,” Hoodwink said putting in the earrings not unifying yet but casting a perfectly planned mirage.
Marinette looked at Jon’s phone sighing as a text from Jason showed up.
From Jason Todd What hotel are you staying at? B wants to have you over for dinner He didn’t think that I could make friends How rude is that?
Marinette rolled her eyes before typing back.
To Jason Todd Who’s B? And I’m staying at Wayne Suites Hotel.
Marinette tucked the phone back into her purse before looking up to see Audrey walking toward her arms open before pulling her into a hug. “Marinette darling, let me show you the ropes of business ownership. I know that if there is one designer out there who can surpass Gabriel and his dreadful white collection it’s you. Don’t tell anyone but I’m getting a bit too old for the drama and I must go back and visit my daughter at some point. This is our Jersey studio make yourself at home,” Audrey said before running over to someone and yelling at them.
“I’ll do my best,” Marinette mumbled out before reaching for the phone in her purse.
From Jason Todd B is complicated but he’s Damian’s dad and Damian is Jon’s boyfriend, remember? One would think you’d want to meet the guy you texted right? Get to know him a bit
Marinette snorted, it was like Jason was trying to set them up or something, she exited the app before thinking. This was Jon’s boyfriend and Jon was nice, she wouldn’t want him to… no wait that wouldn’t be so bad. If Jon texted Adrien as her and she texted Damian as him then maybe they could fix any problems in their relationships, or at least her problems. She reopened the app typing aggressively.
To Jason Todd Be there at five.
From Jason Todd You’re not going to regret this
“Oh yes I am,” Marinette said to herself as Audrey came back and started guiding her through the building.
Jon’s eyes widened as a huge rock came flying at him. Sure Jon was used to danger, in fact he chased is for fun but he really wasn’t expecting an akuma on his first day in Paris. He actually wasn’t expecting any of this to be honest.
“No!” Nino yelled running back toward him. “Wayzz, shell on!” Nino called out being enveloped in green and taking a shell off his back before jumping in front of Jon blocking the rock which shattered to millions of pieces on impact. Nino breathed out a sigh of relief keeled over before turning back to Jon who’s eyes were bulging out of his face.
“Oh my Rao, what are you Sailor Moon or some shit?” Jon asked gesturing to Nino freaking out.
“You can’t tell anyone, promise me you won’t tell anyone,” Nino said grabbing Jon’s shoulders shaking him viciously.
“Yeah, as long as you answer a couple of questions for me,” Jon said and Nino nodded. “Who are you? When and where are you meeting Superman?” Jon asked and Nino looked confused.
“They call me Protector and we’re meeting Superman in a day at midnight on the Eiffel Tower. How did you know we were meeting with Superman?” Protector asked.
“I’m a reporter’s son and I lived in Metropolis, it’s how I was raised, to follow Superman wherever he goes and get every bit of information out of the situation. I just wanted to get some pictures for my parents,” Jon said waving Protector’s question off easily. Suddenly ladybugs were flying around everywhere and they fixed the rock.
“Ladybug fixed everything, we should go meet back up with the others,” Nino said back in his regular clothes. Something seemed off, the others were so sure that Nino could keep him safe, Adrien’s name in Marinette’s phone is chaton, there’s four friends who all look somewhat similar to the heroes. Jon smirked to himself, he found the heroes of Paris and now he would be able to see Paris’ situation from a whole new angle.
Marinette stood outside her hotel in a black dress with pink flowers crawling along the hem, hair pulled into a half ponytail, pink high heels, and a white purse with a trick pocket phone tucked in carefully along with the mouse miraculous. A fancy car pulled up in front of her and the window was lowered and Jason called out to her.
Marinette was terrified, she had figured out earlier that she would be dining with the batfamily from photos on Jon’s phone and Damian being Robin and Jon being Superboy. She also knew that she was in a car with a murderer but if anything bad happened she always had her training and Mullo up her sleeve, she would be able to shock him enough to get out of any bad situation. Jason did seem harmless enough though and she had read up on the news and it seemed that Red Hood had turned over a new leaf.
“We’re here,” Jason said rousing her from her thoughts as he opened his door walking around the car to open hers helping her out. She looked up and her eyes widened at the house, no manor, in front of her.
“You live here?” Marinette asked. The place was bigger than Gabriel’s.
“Yup, now come on we have dinner to get to,” Jason said smiling walking up the front steps and Marinette quickly followed.
Damian was not thrilled about the family dinner that was called this morning. Jason seemed insistent that the whole family meet his new friend. He just wanted the whole thing to be over so he could talk to Jon, hopefully his beloved would be up by then. He had to fight the Joker the previous night and couldn’t text him back but he didn’t want Jon to be worried or anything, he hoped the younger wasn’t mad at him.
Damian adjusted his shirt thinking, Jason had made a friend, a friend who he thought was worth the family dinner treatment. She couldn’t be his girlfriend, Jason never said he broke up with Roy so who was this girl? Damian shook his head before walking down the stairs and saw Jason and his friend, she was too good for Jason and Jason was in no way worth her time.
Marinette stared at the boy before her, this was Damian? She felt guilt crawl through her chest. He’s in a relationship, he’s in a relationship, he’s in a… holy shit he’s hotter in person. Marinette couldn’t help but admire him for a moment before remembering he was a hot asshole.
Coughing roused the three from their thoughts as Alfred stood in the doorway smiling. “Dinner is almost ready,” Alfred said and Jason nodded in the direction of the dining room letting Marinette go first. She walked into the room and eight pairs of eyes settled on her.
“Welcome to Wayne Manor,” Jason said and Marinette gulped grasping her purse, just one dinner.
Taglist (open): @jumpingjoy82 @liquid-luck-00 @megaafangirl @zorua-adorable @dreamykitty25 @pinkittwice @ghostdragonfang @ramos123 @redbullgivescaswings @jayjayspixiepop @sekhmet5 @blur-of-colours @roseisred @nightlychaotic @ladybug-182 @novaloptr @prettylittlebutterflie @hammalammadamdam @niknak-3 @certainmuffinbagelcalzone @chaoticstarworld @niknak-3 @nightlychaotic @lunalamant @lovleyautumnsunflower
#maribat#Damian Wayne#damian x marinette#jon x damian#protective Damian#Jon Kent#adrien agreste#adrien x jon#adrien x marinette#chloe bourgeois#alya cesaire#Nino lahiffe#lila rossi#lila salt#alya x nino#besties alya and jon#nino and jon#phone swap#superboy#ladybug#chat noir#robin#red hood#jason todd#the waynes#alfred pennyworth#alfred is god confirmed
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“Would you just shut up and listen to me for two goddamn seconds?!”
AN: ...yeah so I'll post part five in a few hours and THAT will be the ending to this Ex Sesshoumaru saga. Smh. I wrote too much of this. Read the other chapters - here.
----
She can't recall how it started.
It wasn't as though either of them had woken up one day and decided to pursue something. They'd become 'companions' of sorts- not quite friends, not casual acquaintances either. Kagome spoke with him while sitting on the grassy hillside, wearing full miko garb and explaining about future technologies.
Talking turned into meeting up regularly. Meetups turned into secret rendezvous.
Kagome wagered she'd been a source of intrigue for the demon lord. A window into the future. He listened with rapt attention and intelligent, sharp eyes. His questions were short and to the point- humour dark and smirking. Kagome found him endearing, in an irritatingly proud kind of way.
She learned about demon culture and his shining, unblemished heritage. How his ancestors had created magnificent weapons that could cut through stormy skies and block out the sun.
Kagome really couldn't say how it started.
He still hadn't been keen on humans, deeming them weak. A few were the exception to the rule. Kagome had figured that was enough. To be counted amongst those few meant she was 'special.'
She felt special, kissing him. Being loved by him made Kagome glow golden, radiating power and contentment. He encouraged her to train, to build up her reiki to new heights so that she might shock and amaze like no other miko before her. To go beyond the title of 'Shikon Miko.'
But centuries of bigotry didn't just 'go away' overnight, nor was it cured by love. He still thought of humans as beneath him. He loved her despite her humanity, not because of it.
In hindsight, Kagome shouldn't have been surprised by his reaction to her hypothetical question.
"If we ever have kids, do you think they'll be recognised as heirs?"
"What?"
Kagome shifted atop a pillow within his room at the Western Stronghold, setting down her book. "I'm just saying, I know your court is still pretty old school with how they feel about Hanyous. Think it'll impact our kids being able to take over the Western Lands?"
What a naive question. She'd been so wrapped up in how he made her feel- Kagome hadn't stopped to consider the possibility that he hadn't changed enough. Not enough for such a question. She'd asked hoping to be assured. That he'd comfort her with the knowledge that any children they had would be respected.
They wouldn't end up like Inuyasha. Ignored. Cast out.
Sesshoumaru had looked at her with such a perplexed, complicated expression. He spoke slowly, as though breaking the news to a child.
"A Hanyou will never rule the Western lands."
The surprise had set in- like she recognised the handle of the knife buried into her gut, but the pain hadn't registered yet. She'd questioned him, of course. His explanation wasn't any more encouraging.
"Hanyous only live a few centuries. I cannot entrust something as important as the longevity of these lands to one, nor can I guarantee they would mate a demon to extend their lifespan."
"Why don't you just say what you mean?" she uttered coldly, betrayal simmering in her blood as she stood. "You don't want one. You don't want an imperfect kid with me."
"That is not what I-"
"You don't have to say it," Kagome glared. "It's there, behind every word you just said. When were you gonna clue me in on this, huh? And what the hell is your plan?- because if you intended to keep me as a fucking mistress all this time while you play happy families with a pure-blooded bitch then-"
"No-" he snarled, terrible and thundering. Sesshoumaru got in her face, large hands curling in her hair, thumbs stroking the shells of her ears, trying to soothe. "I would not have you be Izayoi. You would be my mate. I would make you my Lady. We may have pups."
"That's very considerate of you," she sneered, flashing blunt teeth. "And where's this pure-blooded youkai kid coming from, hm? Because I sure as hell can't give you one."
Golden eyes slid away. It was as though a part of him knew, recognised that his duty would put him at odds with what they'd created together. He looked young, suddenly.
"I will create an heir with an inconsequential demoness."
"Inconsequential?" Kagome stared, hysteria bubbling up inside her. She broke away from him, his touch feeling unwanted, cold. "You'd use some poor woman just for that?"
"You are attributing human emotion to this," Sesshoumaru uttered, gaze flicking back to her. "She would be honoured by it. Her family would want for nothing-"
"Would you just shut up and listen to me for two goddamn seconds?!" Kagome burst, tears blurring her vision. "Can't you hear yourself? You'd still have to sleep with her, with a stranger. She'd carry your child for months, only to be torn away from them? Or would she live here? Would I have to see her every damn day and know- be reminded that I and my child weren't enough for you?!" her voice broke, a wave of emotion slamming her in the gut, only just registering and truly feeling the implications of her words.
His expression cracked, eyes widening, recognising he'd hurt her. Long claws unfurled.
"Kagome-"
"No! No, I'm done," Kagome backed away.
Years of sadness and mistrust loomed over their relationship suddenly, where before there had only been lazy mornings or evenings spent resting her head on his thigh, listening to long claws plucking the strings of a koto and inhaling rich, spicy scents of smoke from an ornate pipe.
"Don't talk to me. Don't even look at me," blue eyes swimming with tears glared. "Thank you for clarifying everything, Lord Sesshoumaru. I just wish you'd told me this two years ago."
He tried to touch her again- only for the miko to slap his attempt away with a crackling hiss of holy energy. Sesshoumaru was forced back, his hand steaming, narrowly avoiding being burned as Kagome backed away.
She'd never seen the look of pure, unadulterated surprise and distress contort his regal features before. But Sesshoumaru was proud. Sesshoumaru was a being carved from stone, who could not be moved by the words of a mere mortal.
He let her go.
Kagome didn't so much as grab her bag. She hitched a ride on Ah Un and made for Kaede's village. It wasn't long before she'd said her goodbyes, propelled by distress and anger into a hasty decision.
She jumped through the well, never to return.
It was a terrible, disappointing end to her feudal fairytale.
---
Rising slowly, Kagome blinked tired lids open, coming to a silent conclusion in the cold light of day. Picking up the phone, she called Natsuki and scheduled a meetup.
Promptly breaking up with him.
He didn't seem terribly shocked by the news.
"So… are you going to him after this?" He asked point-blank.
"What?"
"That silver inuyoukai I sensed on you last week. Figured you had something else going on."
Stiffness rendered her shoulders tense. "I'm sorry," she mumbled, "for making you feel that way. I'm not going to him, but I have been thinking about him."
"Heh, you've been thinking about him but not going? Sounds difficult."
"It is," she smiled, reaching over the table and squeezing his fingers. "Goodbye, Natsuki."
The way he'd eyed her hand, just for a moment- warily- as though wondering for half a second if she'd taken her pills, only strengthened Kagome's resolve.
She knew what she wanted now.
---
Dressing up that night, she wore her best things. The nicest pair of earrings, shoes, right down to her dress and underwear. She did everything to allow herself to relax, soaking in a tub with candles littered around the edge beforehand.
Glancing at her pills on the nightstand, Kagome grabbed her purse before leaving, having not taken them all day. The effects should've worn off by now. Walking down the stairs, she experimented with a light flex- pink static racing over her skin in a faint crackle.
Dark hair fanned out, soon settling about her shoulders. Kagome took a long, indrawn breath. Life flowed through her veins. Her heart pumped, alive, healthy. Too long had she soaked herself in misery and settled for any half-decent demon cock willing to tolerate her power. Her species.
No more.
Kagome headed straight for the youkai bar.
She slipped in, a known regular by now. Unlike usual though, after grabbing a drink she didn't content herself by sitting at the bar until a tall dark and handsome stranger approached her. Kagome downed it to ignite a fire in her throat, hissing quietly and setting down her glass before easing around grinding bodies on the dance floor.
Standing in the centre, with speakers booming, vibrations thrumming through her- multicoloured lights flashing overhead in the much too dark room, with sweat and youki plastering to the air like heady vapour, Kagome took a breath. Beefy hands met her waist, intending to 'dance' with her - before she let reiki flow.
Younger demons immediately backed off, spooked by the mere suggestion of power. The hands left her body as she met their gazes. If they wanted to touch her, they'd have to reach her.
Dark eyes turned to the miko, intrigued. Some started to approach, but she gradually turned the facet of her holy powers higher. Bigger, more arrogant males kept moving closer. They could match her, tame her. She was just a priestess, after all. They hadn't been anything substantial in centuries.
Kagome held her head high on the half-empty dance floor, pink energy now static and visible, racing over her body like a live wire. And still more poured into her aura, seeping out like a huge barrier. She wasn't done. Not by a long shot.
Even the bravest stopped, all demons now pressed back against far walls, snarling at her, some evacuating the bar.
Kagome's heart shuddered. Her shoulders fell. All that, and she still hadn't let everything out. Maybe she was supposed to make herself smaller. Maintain the air of an unassuming priestess by a big strong demon's side. Settle. Accept it. What had she been expecting?
Feeling foolish and a little selfish for spoiling everyone's night, Kagome stepped back with the intent of recalling her energy.
A palm met the pink barrier, a sharp sound ringing out like the crack of lightning. Youki -familiar, dominating, unique- crashed against her aura, creating a plume of sweeping mists. Through the pink haze, Sesshoumaru stepped forward.
Unlike his usual modern look, the glamour was absent this time.
Kagome's eyes widened, oxygen briefly freezing inside her lungs. His markings were on full display. Seeing him again, really seeing him, awakened a strange feeling inside her.
Kagome grit blunt teeth, refusing to soften. She allowed another wave of her reiki out, creating a blazing inferno that licked along the wooden floors and sent every other demon fleeing.
Golden eyes narrowed slightly, but Sesshoumaru kept his palm raised, long hair whipping around him.
As reiki slid through the gaps of his fingers, he took a step closer. Followed by another. Red youki buffered its natural opposite, creating sparks and wafts of charged steam. He walked around the room, slowly tightening the circle around her like a predator closing in, though not without effort.
Kagome had never felt anything like it. She'd never let so much loose before. She could even keep going, she could-
Sesshoumaru's hand closed over her wrist, eyes hazed red. He panted, face lingering close. "Enough. I can withstand you, dear one," he said in a rush, light burns dotting his cheek and forehead. "But those outside cannot. You could obliterate every demon within a 5-mile radius if you wished, but I know you do not want that."
Kagome blinked, shaken. Catching her breath suddenly, she trembled, holding onto him.
His presence stabilised something, allowing Kagome to slowly begin reeling blistering power back. Her body weakened, forehead finding his shoulder as pink power receded back inside. Wild youki died down not long after.
And that was how Kagome Higurashi was barred from the only youkai establishment in the city.
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Ok, guys, hear me out: Zuko is a Capricorn, Katara is a Cancer —and here’s why (it would be so poetic).
Part 1: Zuko
TW: explicit mentions of child abuse.
I know this statement might seem weird and out of place, but in the last couple weeks I’ve been digging a lot into astrology and, in order not to forget my roots, I thoroughly felt the need to combine both of my most recent obsessions in one post, given that this headcanon hasn’t been able to leave my mind ever since I came up with it: if we applied astrology to the Avatar world, I’m sure Cancer and Capricorn would be Katara and Zuko’s signs, respectively. And I don’t say this in a superficial way, just by looking at zodiac memes and associating Katara with the crybabies Cancers are portrayed as or saying Zuko is a Capricorn buzzkill as people who know astrology on a surface level would assume they are —those are some of the most common stereotypes about the signs. No, I’m saying that they embody those signs on an archetypal leve: in the way their stories, especially Zuko’s, resemble the myths that originate the zodiac signs and their respective traits.
Therefore, without further ado, let me explain.
The Capricorn archetype: the sins of the father...
As any casual astrology enthusiast may probably know, the sign of Capricorn is connected to qualities such as perseverance, integrity, resilience and ambition, typically treated as the CEO or boss of the zodiac. However, the sign itself has a richer and much more complex story as we look at the deities it is associated with as well as the planet that rules it: Saturn, linked to the Roman god of the same name and the greek gods Cronus, Zeus, Hestia and Pan. Some astrologers choose Cronus as Capricorn’s patron god and others prefer his children, but that can be explained very easily.
The myth goes like this: Cronus, a giant and father of what we would know as some of the main greek gods (Hestia, Demeter, Hades, Poseidon, Hera and Zeus), was actually the son of Uranos, who he subverted thanks to the advice of his mother Gaia to use an agricultural tool to kill him. But as time went by and Cronus had started having children with his partner, Rhea, the fear of his descendants becoming stronger than him and doing the same thing he had done to his father took over him, which led to his decision of swallowing them all whole. He started with Hestia all the way back to Zeus, whom he couldn’t swallow right after he was born, unlike his other children, because this time Rhea had hid him in the island of Crete to protect him from his father. To deceive him, Rhea then covered a rock in cloth to make it resemble a baby for Cronus to eat it, thinking that it was a newborn Zeus.
Time passed and Zeus grew stronger until he was ready to confront his father and save his siblings from his womb, and when he finally did it, he managed to force Cronus into disgorge them one by one, in the reverse order they had been swallowed —which left Hestia as the last sibling to be disgorged.
After that, Zeus was left with a prophecy, where he would also be possibly overthrown by a son of his. And after Métis, the woman he was told would bear said child, gave birth he swallowed the newborn whole just like Cronus had done with his brothers and sisters. The child in question, however, started giving him headaches as it grew older and bigger inside of him and would become the goddess we know as Athena. What Zeus did with her was the repetition of a cycle perpetuated by his forefathers, a cycle of abuse and trauma that seems inescapable. What this part of the duality of the Capricorn archetype shows one of the ways in which those ideas of tradition and legacy can be carried on (a very negative one, to be honest), but that’s not the only way they can manifest, which gives the archetype this… almost cinematic quality, in my opinion. (And if we take this into account, I might headcanon Azula as a Capricorn rising due not only to the archetypal coincidences but the overall mastermind outlook she has and how much of a natural, domineering and calculating leader she is, but that’s besides the point.)
Now, let’s talk about the other side of the archetype, which gives it this incredible dual quality: Hestia’s path. Unlike her brother Zeus, Hestia was the one who not only had been devoured by her father, but she had spent the most time inside him as well. This is often associated with the emotional isolation many Capricorns experience in their youth, the lack of warmth and love by one of their parents, along with the desire not to become the abusive parent they were exposed to. Hestia is the other side of the story, the unspoken leader of the Olympians, the one who broke the toxic cycle running in her family for generations, vowing to become an eternal virgin and protector of the earth. Besides, Hestia means “hearth”: the inner fire, the one that is never allowed to go out.
(art by @elisebrave)
That is the soul of the Capricorn archetype: the crossroads of destiny, the moment when the child decides whether to become like their parents, or forge their own path like Hestia did. Do you guys see what I see now? Are the similarities clear enough?
As my dear friend @persephobeee points out in her Capricorn essay (a crucial source for this one): “The Capricorn archetype is a cycle of stuck parents putting stress on their children at such a young age so then their kid ends up making money in retaliation, but then treat their kids the same as well due to the lack of warmth and freedom they had in their own childhood. The intense pressure put onto them as a child [then] leads to isolation and depression. It’s a cycle. ‘I don’t want to be my parent, but also… how they have ruined me’. The chain can continue with Zeus (projecting sorrows and nightmares onto their own children) or it could break with Hestia (the path of love, light and protection).”
This is why Capricorn’s planetary ruler, Saturn, is also associated with ideas found in this myth: restriction, limitation, order, boundaries, leadership, responsibility… pretty much dad vibes, to be honest. Do you guys see what I see or do I have to dig deeper?
“But isn’t zuko a firebender?? Why would he be an earth sign??”, you may ask.
The way that I might be making headcanons about the Gaang’s western zodiac signs isn’t gonna be based on which element they bend, because that would be quite reductive and restrictive for me as an astrology junkie, but their similarities to each sign’s archetype and overall characteristics. And yes, I do see Zuko as an earth sun, but that wouldn’t be his only sign, there is also the moon and the rising sign, which also have an important impact on the individual. In my opinion, Zuko’s personality embodies the qualities of fire signs as well: competitiveness, drive, passion, impulsiveness and loyalty. But to me those qualities are better shown in his character through his moon sign: an Aries moon, to be specific. See those anger outbursts? The “I don’t need any [fucking] calming tea!!”? The “you never think these things through”? Aries moon behavior, right there. But I’m not going to focus on moon signs right now. Let’s get back to the behavior I am the most well-versed at: Capricorn behavior.
So, the sign of Capricorn is also a cardinal sign, a leader, since they are the ones that begin each season. In the Northern Hemisphere, Capricorn season starts right on the winter solstice, and the opposite happens in the South. However, since all the astrology lore comes from the North thanks to the Greeks, Babylonians and more, the seasonal connections are related to the seasons there. As a consequence, Capricorn is the cardinal sign that brings the coldest, darkest season of the year: winter. And incorporating that into Zuko’s character would be incredibly fitting, in my opinion, because of some stuff I’ve read here on Tumblr saying that making him being born during the coldest time of the year would make it a terrible omen for a firebender, worse in this case due to him being born into the royal family, symbols of the power and “supremacy” of the Fire Nation. The fact that he would be born in winter, if we follow this reasoning, would have made him seem as a disappointment to his father ever since birth.
… or maybe I’m just cruel, guys.
Moreover, I think Zuko embodies many of the Capricorn qualities in the way he carries himself (because no, not all Capricorns are confident managers with the world in our hands) and how hard he has to work to earn everything he gets. A key part of what this sign represents is “the path of hardships the goat has to overcome in order to reach the top of the mountain”, which along with the myth I have described before, could easily be applied to Zuko. It describes values of endurance, hard work, discipline and drive in order to achieve your goals, something that can be seen in Zuko all throughout the series, but changes its focus as the seasons go by. Besides, uhm… have you guys seen “The Day of Black Sun, Part 2”? That is literally the positive outcome of the Capricorn myth made into animation: the confrontation between an abusive father figure and his abused child who has decided to part ways with him in order to become a better person.
On another note, I think it is important to highlight how the Capricorn in Zuko could be seen based on how the rest of the Gaang treats him as well when he changes sides and he’s accepted into the group. How?, you may be wondering: as a father figure, but in a positive way. In many scenes it can be noticed how he naturally takes a position of leadership within the group as well as he takes care of the younger members such as Aang and Toph but, especially in Aang’s case, tries to ground them and teach them. As examples, take the following: Zuko reminding Aang that soon he will have to face the fact that he might have to kill Ozai, him trying to get everyone to train when the comet is about to arrive; how when Aang gets lost, it is him the one people look to in order to lead the group, etc.
Another thing that is well-known in Capricorns is our resilience and perseverance and, honestly: do I even need to explain that? When it comes to the guy who would get his ass beaten again and again and again for one season straight in order to get what he wanted which would also give him the approval of his father, what he craved most? It screams earth sign behavior to me, but with a heavy saturnian influence due to Zuko’s background which, to me, can be quite an interesting reflection of the Saturn/Cronus myth with his children. Said tenacity could also be exacerbated by the willpower and energy brought by the possibility of him having a fire moon, I don’t know, think about it. I stick to that headcanon.
That perseverance can also be seen when it comes to Zuko’s firebending, given how much he’s always trying to improve his skills. Although it could be argued that in reality he’s doing so due to the expectations put on him to be a proficient bender just like his sister in order to be accepted by his father, and his constant training to the point of exhaustion is just a manifestation of that toxic behavior. I am sorry to tell you, but that’s textbook Capricorn behavior, associated with the symbolism of the hardworking goat in general: working the hardest in order to get what you want is always on-brand when it comes to important Capricorn placements, and in my opinion Zuko is no exception.
Final thoughts.
Anyway, what I think would be most relevant is what I mentioned before about the Capricorn archetype and how it could tie in nicely to Zuko’s character arc with him as a representation of Hestia, who could grow out of the abuse she experienced and got a chance not to make her father’s mistakes and break that horrendous cycle she had been a victim of. I would go into this more deeply, but I think it has been enough for now. However, I’ll be back soon with a part two, talking about my water queen Katara. What do you think about this headcanon? Do you agree? If not, why?
Thanks for coming to my weird-ass TedTalk at 1am. I needed to vent and I haven’t been able to put the computer down since 9pm, I literally only stopped to eat, lol.
See you soon,
a Capricorn sun.
#zuko#atla#avatar: the last airbender#avatar#meta#atla meta#astrology#capricorn#mythology#yes i had to combine my biggest obsessions of the past nine months#what about it?#i can't believe my debut in the atla meta community was AN ASTROLOGY POST#WTF#I DIDN'T EXPECT IT#but here we are#i was inspired#zutara#zutara meta#my favorite tags#yaaaaay
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Doppelgänger (17/19)
Previously on Doppelgänger ~ Masterlist ~ Next time on Doppelgänger
Danny, Sam, and Tucker were just 14 when they took a look inside the portal Danny’s parents had built. From there, everything changed. They woke up with white hair, green skin, and powers they could learn to control. They were hybrids, halfas.
They were the hero Doppelgänger.
{Reign Storm, Part 3}
“It’s like shooting skeleton fish in a barrel,” Doppelgänger chuckled as they flew up to Valerie’s side, blasting one of the skeleton’s harrowing her as their own crowd rushed into the football stadium after them.
“They don’t put up much of a fight, but there’s a lot of them,” she argued. “You going to duplicate?”
“Already did. We've got our own crowds.”
“It’d be nice if you could make yourself a crowd in return.”
“Sorry, we’re still working on making more than three of us.”
“Hello, son.”
Doppelgänger gave a long, drawn-out groan as Plasmius flew up to the two despite still firing on the skeletons. The older ghost tried to speak when they’d finished, only for the ghost kid to start right back up.
“Are you quite done?” Plasmius asked over the groaning.
Valerie turned to fire at him, but he dodged to the side. He stopped with Doppelgänger between her and him.
The younger ghost stopped their groaning to say, “You know, a human shield only works if the shield’s both bigger than you and someone that the person you’re hiding from won’t shoot. We are neither of those.”
“You’re also not human,” Valerie pointed out.
“I think that’s debatable, but we’ll add it to the list,” they said and fired a blast at Plasmius.
“Calm down, son! I didn't come here to fight you! You have other things to worry about!”
“Okay, even if we were your kid -- which we aren’t because gross -- we’re nonbinary, so still not your son. So get lost. We have this under control!”
A blur of black barreled into them and rose up to reveal a knight in black armor atop a pegasus. The knight had Doppelgänger by the throat and pointed his sword at them. “You are the one who destroyed the King’s ring.”
“We’re not one, but we have destroyed a ring recently. Not sure if it was a king’s, though. Can we get a description?” Doppelgänger said before a swirl of comets wrapped around them and they disappeared.
Another swirl appeared behind the knight, leaving behind the ghost kid. They cheered and shot a blast that unseated the knight. “Yes, it worked. Still not as far as we’d meant to go, but we’ll take it.”
“If you would allow me to trai-” Plasmius started.
“Not interested. Now make yourself useful.” Doppelgänger pointed at the knight, who was pulling himself to his feet.
The knight’s eyes locked onto Valerie and narrowed. “You also carry the ring’s mark.”
She leveled her rifle at him, but a pair of blasts knocked him away before she could fire.
“Right on time,” Doppelgänger said as their two copies flew into the stadium. “Wait a second, is that the Fright Knight? Who? He’s the age-old spirit of Halloween.” The trio began to casually blast the knight back and forth across the field as they spoke together. “Legend has it that if his sword The Soul Shredder cuts through you, you get teleported to a dimension where you live out your worst fear. We read about him in the book we got for Halloween. Did the book have any way to defeat him? We think there was something about a pumpkin, but we can’t remember. We’ll go check.”
One of the ghost kids shot off, giving the knight a chance to finally dodge a blast. “Fools! All I wanted to do was retrieve those who destroyed the ring and return to Pariah's Keep, but now, you give me no choice.” He knelt and held up his sword, point down. “By the authority vested in me by my Lord and Liege…” The sword began to glow and he drove it into the ground, causing a wave of energy to roll outwards across the ground. “I claim this town now and forever under the banner of Lord Pariah, the King of All Ghosts!”
Energy shot up from the sword high into the air before rolling outwards to form a green dome across the city.
Both remaining Doppelgängers fired at the knight, but he ducked away. “The sword has sunk, your die now cast, The sword removed shall signal fast. Surrender your-”
He was cut off as a blast knocked him rolling across the ground.
“We hate rhymes. Did we find a pumpkin?”
The third Doppelgänger flew up with a smirk and pulled a fake jack-o'-lantern out of thin air.
“Found it in the boxes of old Halloween decorations like we said.”
They landed next to the sword and dropped the decoration at their feet.
“Gotta move fast. Cover us. Red, Plasmius, keep the skeleton’s back. We’ll handle tall, dark, and fashionable. Fashionable? Really? Yes, we love that aesthetic.”
Val nodded and pulled out her grenade launcher as the other two placed themselves between their third and the knight, but Plasmius’s attention was on the ghost kid.
“What are you planning?”
The ghost kid smirked and wrapped their hand around the sword’s grip.
“To cease the storm…”
“No,” the knight yelled, but the ghost kid’s copies kept him back.
“To end the fear…”
“Wait!” Plasmius yelled as the ghost kid began to draw the sword from the ground.
“The sword must sheathe…”
As soon as the blade left the ground, the energy feeding into the dome cut off and it began to crack. Instead of the sky being behind it, Valerie saw the endless green of the ghost zone.
“In pumpkin near!”
Doppelgänger sank the sword into the fake pumpkin and everything froze. Then the sky returned.
White and green light began to pour from the decoration as the dome shuddered then began to rise up and flow back into the sword in a reverse of how it had just formed.
“No, NO!” the knight shouted as a vortex formed above the sword and began to draw him in.
Valerie only had a second to feel victorious before the vortex began to pull at her as well. She lost her footing on her board, but the ghost kid flew in to help her. Two of them grabbed her and the last grabbed her board before they all flew to the bleachers and grabbed hold. Once she was sure she was safe, she looked over the field.
Plasmius had taken refuge on a goal post, but many of the skeletons were being sucked up. The knight was clawing at the ground, but soon lost his grip and disappeared into the swirling green. Once he was gone, the vortex slowed and dissipated while the pumpkin holding the sword -- now looking like an actual jack-o'-lantern, if purple with a green glow -- vanished in a flash.
“Well, that’s one down,” Doppelgänger said.
“You idiot! The sword was a signal!” Plasmius yelled, brushing himself off.
“Yeah, we heard. That’s why we got rid of it!”
“Not soon enough.”
The teens looked up to see a large ghost floating over them.
After a second, one of the ghost kids pointed at him.
“You know, we expected more from the King of All Ghosts. He’s just a guy. A tall guy, but still.”
Another nodded, looking disappointed.
“Yeah, what is this Odin wannabe nonsense? We thought we’d be facing some beautiful Lovecraftian horror. We feel ripped off.”
The third tilted their head.
“He’s not even that big. Like ten feet, maybe. The dragon made a more impressive sight, and she was literally just a fairytale princess. You’d think a king could do better.”
“Are you done ticking him off?” Valerie asked, watching Dark get angrier and angrier.
They shrugged. “We’re just saying. He doesn’t even have a crown.”
Then the one who’d tilted their head shot to the side, the one who’d nodded stepped in front of Valerie and raised a shield, and the one who’d pointed braced for impact as Dark sent a massive blast towards them.
The shield held, but the ghost kid was forced to a knee as they poured their strength into it and it shattered apart as soon as it wasn’t needed. Once it was down, Valerie could see that the one who’d taken the blast head-on had created a crater in the bleachers that they were pulling themself out of. Meanwhile, the one who’d avoided it was zipping around the field, keeping Dark’s attention. They fired upon the king while bobbing and weaving around the return fire.
It didn’t look like the attacks were doing much damage.
“That hurt,” they said as the one limped towards her and their kneeling copy turned to her. “You should get clear.”
“We should all fall back,” Plasmius said, appearing next to them.
“Even if we could, he’d destroy the town trying to chase us down. You can run if you want to,” they said then they shot towards the field.
One landed and held their hands out. Thick wires shot out of the ground and grabbed Dark’s legs, electrocuting him in the process. At the same time, the other ghost kid shot towards the fight. They engaged the king as the one that had been fighting him backed off. They reached to the side and plucked a pot holding a glowing spider-like plant out of nowhere. They chucked the plant at Dark’s head then re-engaged him as their copy pulled back to command the plant to wrap around the king’s eyes and neck.
“The boy has Chlorokinesis?” Plasmius said.
“You didn’t know that?” Valerie said, checking her rifle and calling her board to her.
“He’s never used it against me. He’s only even used the Technokinesis recently.”
“They’ve had both for as long as I’ve known them. They’ve tried to use it on me, but I’m usually too high for the plants and my gear’s protected against their control.”
“ENOUGH!”
The two looked up to see Dark snatch the plant-controlling ghost kid from the air and throw them. The other flying one tried to catch them, but they both ended up crashing to the ground. The third flew over to them as the king tore off the wires and burned away the plant.
“Our baby,” the ghost kid whined, one staring at the plant’s burning remains with fury.
“Surrender, children! You can't possibly win!”
“Surrender isn’t in our vocabulary. And we can’t possibly let you loose on our city.” The one that had been controlling the wires helped the one that had been thrown to their feet, letting them lean against them, as the other placed themself in front of the two. “Besides, we don't have to win. we just have to make sure that you lose.”
Dark scowled and shot a blast at them. The one in front summoned a shield, but it shattered almost immediately and the three took most of the blast.
Valerie leveled her rifle at Dark, but Plasmius yanked it away.
“Don’t be foolish, girl. He will kill you.”
“Like you care.
“Considering you’re my only help, I do. We need a plan.”
“Face it, children, it's over.”
Valerie turned back to the field to see Dark walking towards the trio as they slowly got up onto their knees.
“No,” they growled. “No!”
Shaking with pain, the trio looked up.
Their goggles glowed with black energy and then three things happened at once.
The one on the left threw their head back and screamed. Black sonic waves tore through the field and slammed into the king.
The one in the middle doubled over, hands clawing at the ground as they keened. Thick black vines wove in and out of the ground in front of them until they could latch onto the king, wrapping around his arms and legs to tear deep gashes into his skin with their thorns.
The one on the right wrapped their arms around themselves and sobbed. Black tears flowed down their face and formed a void beneath them that stretched out underneath the king.
The vines held him still, the rings drained his power, and the void drew him in.
Dark thrashed against his bindings, but they held and he was soon consumed by the darkness.
The trio collapsed.
The field went silent, the vines shriveled into nothing, and the darkness faded.
Consciousness clearly fading, the trio latched hands and fell through the ground.
Oddly though, they didn’t seem to go intangible and Valerie swore she saw the faintest hint of a white-blue-purple light just before they completely disappeared.
Slowly, she turned to Plasmius to see him gaping at the now empty field. “Did you know they had that kind of power?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Danny stared out at the stars as Blobena nuzzled up against his cheek.
“My everything hurts,” Tucker croaked, the first sound any of them had made since Danny had dropped them into the Space Fold then promptly passed out. He’s not sure how long they’ve been in there now, but he’s been awake for at least an hour and he knew the others woke before him.
“Sh!” Sam moaned.
It was quiet for a few moments, then Sam asked, “Danny. Why are your blobs in here? More importantly, why is one trying to eat my hair?”
With a sigh, Danny turned to see Sam and the blob in question. “I think Blobson likes the taste of your shampoo. He did the same thing to me two weeks ago when you let me shower at your place after the fight with Garbage Manster.”
“Wait, you seriously named them all? And with blob puns?” Tucker said, pinwheeling slowly near Sam’s feet. “I thought that was just a joke you and Valerie were telling.”
“We had a lot of time in that cage, okay?”
“Danny, get this thing off my hair or I’m smashing it.”
The boy pouted, but reached over to scoop up the blob. He set him on his shoulder next to Bloberick.
“Now again, what are they doing here?”
“In my defense, I just meant to hide them in here for a second because my mom was coming down the stairs and I didn’t have time to get them all back through the portal. I’ve tried to get them to leave, but they won’t.”
“You keep my ghost plants in here!” she huffed, gesturing to the quartet of pots holding plants she’d gathered from the ghost zone.
“They don’t bother them, promise!”
“Speaking of which, how dare you throw Arachne at that jerk!”
“Our ecto-beams weren’t doing much! I thought the poison on her fronds would help!”
“We can get you a new one, Sam,” Tucker said. “It’s not like it was sentient like Audrey II.”
“We can get you a new phone, Tucker,” she shot back. “It’s not like it’s sentient like Audrey II.”
“She’s as good as!” Tucker gasped, pulling his phone out to clutch it to his chest. “Talk to me, baby.”
“Hello, Tuck-man. The time is 9:34 p.m.”
Danny snickered. “Tuck-man.”
“Shut it, Danny Blobton,” Tucker said, grabbing one of the blobs floating near him and tossing it at Danny.
If anything, the blob seemed to be pleased by the action, even as it squished against his forehead. It gave a singing buzz and nuzzled further against him.
“Great, now Blobnessa is never going to let go.”
“Dude, you’ve got issues.”
“Wait, did your phone say it was after nine at night?” Sam asked, turning to Tucker.
“Yeah, it said… Oh man, how long have we been gone for?”
“My parents are probably tearing the town apart looking for me,” Danny groaned.
“Not to mention your girlfriend. I’m sure my parents are already blaming you. Crud, I’m going to have to wear their stupid dresses for a week if they’re ever going to let me see you again,” Sam said, grabbing Danny’s arm and tugging him to her.
“I swear, if my parents try to take me on one of those tech-free relaxation getaways because of this, I’m moving into the fold. Blobs or not,” Tucker muttered, hooking his ankle around Sam’s.
Danny gently shooed and brushed all the blobs off himself then turned all three of them invisible and dropped them onto the football field.
Thankfully no one was around so they turned visible and climbed to their feet.
“We’re going to need alibis,” Sam said.
“Got cornered by some skeletons in an abandoned building?” Tucker offered. “Only came out when we were sure it was safe, but then didn’t recognize where we were and stumbled about until we found somewhere familiar.”
“Sounds good enough for me,” Danny yawned. “Can either of you transform?”
They shook their heads.
“Guess we’re walking.”
They only made it a block before the Fenton RV came roaring up and a hysterical Maddie Fenton tackled Danny to the ground.
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No Mistletoe Above Our Heads
Summary: It’s the day of the Trolberg Winter Festival, and Matilda Pilkfist invites all her favorite people to her house to celebrate. Two of her guests, however, seem more interested in each other than anything elseContains spoilers for season 2
Notes: Did you know that legally you can post Christmas fics until the New Year? It’s right there in the constitution, I swear Jokes aside, I had two holiday fic ideas and only time to write one in time for Xmas and... that established relationship one won. Which, of course, didn’t stop me from wanting to do this one as well. Anyways this is set one year after the Trolberg Winter Festival that we see on season 2. Since we don’t know how much Johanna will know after the whole Troll business is over, I’m just making things up here.
Read it on ao3
The doorbell rang just in time for Kaisa to finish setting up the table, all the cutlery neatly in place.
“Oh, it’s the rest of our guests!” Tildy chirped. “You dears wait right here, I’ll go get them.”
Standing near Tildy’s table, the two of them watched the older woman walk to her front hall to open the door. There was a very strong scent of cinnamon in the air - Tildy had probably forgotten something in the oven.
“Do you know the other people she called?” Mr. Ostenfeld asked her, making her shrug.
‘Sort of. I’ve talked to the kids before. They’re okay.” Although she’d grown very fond of the children in the year she’d known them, spending the Winter Festival socializing with them was not a situation she was entirely comfortable with. She was sure she’d just be a wallflower and make them all feel like they needed to include her in their conversation for the sake of good manners, but her old mentor had insisted on her attending the dinner, so she’d given in. It wasn’t like she had any better plans for the evening, anyway, and she felt like she owned it to Tildy after spending years avoiding her.
“Frida, how delightful to see you!” They heard Matilda say from the doorway, and figured they should get closer to greet the guests as well. “And I’m so glad you two could come too!”
Behind Frida, there were two adults who resembled her a lot. Tildy let them in and pointed at them. “This is Peter, my boyfriend, and Kaisa. I used to be her English tutor as well!”
“Pleasure to meet you.” Mr. Ostenfeld said as Kaisa shook their hands. She had been warned, of course, that the adults didn’t know about the magic yet, but it still struck her as amusing to see arch-sorceress Matilda Pilkfist describe herself as an English tutor. She also wondered how her mentor was planning on explaining the skull on her wall, or the painting of witches around a fire, not to mention her hand mannequin for palmistry practice. Maybe she thought everyone had those things at home, that would be a very Tildy-like way of thinking.
After greeting Frida and her family, Kaisa brought her attention back to the other guests. She knew Frida’s familiar had also been invited. Tildy seemed to have taken a strong liking to her as well. What she hadn’t been expecting was to already know the adult who had come in with her.
Well, maybe know was too strong of a word. But she’d already met the woman at the library, where sometimes she’d go to look for inspiration for her work and Kaisa would help her, and sometimes they’d see each other around the city and wave. Still, it was enough for a noticeable spark of recognition to be lit on her brown eyes, even if she wasn’t the one who spoke first.
“Good evening!” Hilda greeted her happily. “It’s very nice to see you here!”
“Good evening, Hilda. How are you doing tonight?”
Seemingly unaware of how Kaisa’s gaze was straying to her mother behind her, the girl smiled. “Great! We just came from the bloom, it was so beautiful!”
“I agree. I was there long enough to see it, those flowers seem to get more beautiful every year.”
Though Hilda looked like she was going to agree, Mr. Ostenfeld approached them before she could say anything.
“Ah, so you two were invited! How lovely! Looks like you have already met my neighbors, eh Kaisa?”
“Good evening, Mr. Ostenfeld!” Mother and daughter said at the same time. Only now Kaisa realized that Johanna seemed to be trying to sneak glances at her as well.
“I already know Kaisa.” Hilda explained. “I don’t think mum does, though.”
With her hand on her hips, the woman rolled her eyes playfully. “Hilda, I’m not illiterate. I’ve already met Kaisa at the library.”
Hilda’s mouth formed a perfect “o” shape, her eyes widening only slightly. It seemed like an odd thing for her to realize her mother had a life beyond what they did together.
“It’s good to finally see you in a more social setting, Kaisa.” She said, raising her hand for the librarian to shake.
"Likewise." The woman’s grip was warm and soft, and something in Kaisa didn’t want to let go. “I don’t think I ever got your name.”
“Johanna.” The woman smiled. Perhaps the night wouldn’t be a waste after all.
_#_#_#_
Johanna never thought she’d be so glad to see the librarian.
When Hilda told her they’d been invited to Frida’s English Tutor’s Winter Festival dinner, she’d been skeptical at best. Not because she didn’t trust the woman, not even out of unwillingness to spend the Festival in a way so different from how she used to when she was younger, but because she knew Hilda would leave her alone, and she couldn’t blame her.
Being with her friend meant the girl would probably run off to somewhere private to talk to her alone, and Johanna would left to… mingle with the adults, something she didn’t quite know if she would manage. Her daughter had thought she had wanted her to make human friends for the sake of being normal. Truth be told, what she really wanted was for Hilda to have more social skills than she did when she grew up.
Her prediction had been proven true. The girls had gone to some other room in Matilda’s house at her invitation, and the rest of them had moved to a sitting room, where they sat down on the couches in pairs: the host and her boyfriend, Frida’s parents, and the party’s two outcasts, which had been left to sit together.
Kaisa seemed to realize they were the odd ones out - the only ones who weren’t there as a couple and who weren’t quite close to nearly anyone - at the same time Johanna did, and they smiled sympathetically at each other as they sat down on the bright red sofa.
Neither of them added much to the conversation; Tildy was able to carry it with her usual brightness and Frida’s parents seemed to be interested in adding their opinions as well, especially when the topic was their daughter’s incredible willingness to learn.
Not particularly interested in the dialogue, Kaisa let her mind wander elsewhere, until she felt Johanna tense up beside her. They weren’t close enough for her to physically feel it, but sensing her energy was enough for Kaisa to pick up something was wrong. She blinked and tried to remember the sentence that had just been spoken.
“It brings us a lot of pride.” Frida’s father had said, which made Kaisa assume the conversation still had been centered around Frida. “But it must be quite hard to have a trouble maker for a child, isn’t it? I imagine you’ve tried everything at this point to get Hilda to behave, and I should have expected Frida to have had a bigger impact on her, being the positive influence that she is.”
Johanna swallowed, and Kaisa could tell from the way her fist clenched on the hem of her sweater that she knew exactly what to answer, just as well as she knew she’d be beyond rude if she said what she wanted to.
“I don’t see what you mean.” As though they had forgotten she was there, and she wouldn’t be shocked if they had, all eyes turned to Kaisa with surprise in them. The only exception was Tildy, who had her typical knowing smirk on. “I’ve had plenty of opportunities to watch Hilda’s behavior, since she visits the library a lot, not once has she done anything that would have me describe her as a trouble maker. And trust me, I have seen some difficult children in my job.”
Looking quite flustered, the man tried to reverse the situation. “Well, surely you’ll agree-“
“There’s the basic, of course.” Kaisa didn’t let him finish. “She never yells or misplaces books, or returns them late. But even when she takes some actions that I suppose could be considered… off route, never has anyone been put in harm’s way by her that I know of, and all her actions are inspired by selflessness. Intelligence doesn’t only mean one thing, and I can assure you the girl is as smart as she is brave. It’s a shame not everyone can recognize it.”
Pleased when both parents looked properly chastened, Kaisa sat back against the couch and pretended to have stopped caring about the conversation again. Oh, if only those two knew the sort of thing their own child got involved with. She’d very much like to see their faces when they found out.
“I agree completely.” Said Peter from the other side of the room. “Never met anyone with better intentions.”
Tildy nodded at her boyfriend, even though her eyes seemed to stray away to the direction of the couch where Johanna and Kaisa were sitting. “Yes, she’s got a heart of gold, that one.”
Only when Kaisa glanced at Frida’s parents, wanting to see how they would look while trying to explain themselves, did she notice that Johanna was not looking at her daughter’s defensors, but rather at her. Her lips parted in a silent gasp when she saw her mouthing a ‘thank you’ to her.
Ignoring Frida’s mother’s fumbled speech as she tried to talk about the “value the school system gives to different learning types”, Kaisa whispered back at Johanna. “Want to get away?”
Though there was no clear answer from her part, no nod or smile, Kaisa didn’t miss the way her eyes lit up and her back straightened at the prospect.
“This is certainly a fascinating topic.” Kaisa blurted as she stood up, well aware that the sarcasm was showing in her voice. “But is it just me or is there something burning?”
Tildy sniffed the air and widened her eyes. Kaisa hadn’t even had to make anything up, something was burning.
“My korvapuusti!” Tildy gasped, but before she could move further, Kaisa gestured for her to remain seated.
“Don’t worry, I can see to it. Though I’m not much of a cook, so maybe Johanna should come with me.” She raised an eyebrow to the woman, expecting her to understand the cue she was trying to create at the same time she knew she was free to refuse it. “Hilda has already brought me some cookies you made, so I know you are skilled.”
“Of course.” Hoping she hadn’t been too quick to answer, Johanna got up and adjusted the hem of her sweater, sneaking a glance at Kaisa, who seemed to be as anxious to get out of there as her.
A dawning realization seemed to slowly replace the worry in Tildy’s face, and she smiled. “How sweet of the two of you to help this old woman. Thank you, dears.”
Kaisa nodded and went back to the entrance hall they’d been at some minutes ago, and Johanna fell in step beside her as she made her way through the house. She seemed to know where she was going, so Johanna didn’t question it, even as she spotted some frankly bizarre details in the house. Something about the way herb jars and crystals adorned nearly every surface was eerie, yet not unpleasant to her. And surely she was imagining the way the portaits’s eyes seemed to follow them.
“Thanks for that.” Johanna said when she had to do a little sprint to catch up with the librarian, a decoration that very much looked like a serpent with horns having had caught her attention. Kaisa slowed down her pace.
“Don’t think about it. There is something burning, anyway, and you very much are more more apt to deal than this than I am.”
“Oh, not that, though I am very grateful for the excuse to go away for a bit.” The lighting in that part of the house was significantly dimmer, somewhy being composed basically of candle light, and for a second Johanna was distracted by how their warm glow and the shadows they cast accentuated the sharp angles in Kaisa’s features. It was probably just the artist side of her showing. “I mean for defending Hilda like that. It’s good to know you have such a positive view of her and… I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t spoken up first.”
Kaisa smiled. This was something Johanna didn’t think she’d seen her do any time before that night. It had always been a certainty in her mind, though she didn’t know why, that the mysterious librarian didn’t show who she really was in the library. Now she wondered if she’d finally get to see more of Kaisa’s hidden side since they were behind closed doors.
“You would have been fine.” Thankful for the weak lighting hiding her blush, Kaisa answered. “At worst you would have told them what they need to hear.”
“That their daughter is going to develop one hell of a failure anxiety if they keep this up?”
“That she already has and Hilda is the positive influence that keeps her grounded. Those two really do a lot of good to each other, it’s a lovely friendship to watch.”
Kaisa opened a door and flicked the light switch up, making them both blink a few times since their eyes had adapted to relative darkness. The scent of burnt cinnamon and cardamom was much stronger there, and Johanna quickly spotted the oven and ran to it.
“You seem to know quite a lot about the children.” Johanna pointed out as Kaisa grabbed an oven mitt from the overhead shelf and handed it to her. Carefully, she opened the oven and was struck by a cloud of smoke and heat, holding herself back not to cough as she reached inside and pulled out the tray with the sweets on it. The cinnamon rolls were certainly a lot darker than they ought to be.
Kaisa waved her hand in the air, trying to make the smoke and the strong smell of burnt food fade, and with her other hand she gestured for Johanna to put the tray on an empty place on the counter.
“I don’t go out much.” She admitted half unwillingly. Admitting her lack of social life probably was not the best course of action to take if she wanted Johanna to be interested in befriending her, but she'd certainly figure it out in no time, anyway. “So when I notice recurring patrons that don’t irk me, I usually pay attention to them.”
“Pay attention?” Johanna asked as she tried to figure out how to turn off Matilda’s prehistoric oven before they both choked to death.
With a fork, Kaisa attempted to examine whether or not the confections were still salvageable. At first when she couldn’t poke inside, she thought maybe the crust of sugar and cinnamon had just gotten too thick, but when it broke with an audible crack before yielding she knew they were lost.
“I’m not-” She crossed her arms over her chest, biting her lower lip as she wondered if it was a good idea to answer that question truthfully. Due precisely to not having many friends, Kaisa knew she tended to overshare when people would listen to her, and it just made them go away. But there was something in the way Johanna looked at her that made her believe she genuinely wanted to know. “I’m not really good at talking to people. I seem to be the kind of person that is more interesting when watched from afar, anyway. So I tend to pay attention to visitors, as a hobby I suppose. You can tell a lot by people-watching.”
Johanna took off the mits and gave them back to Kaisa for her to put them in their proper place, and gave her a small nod as a sign to go on.
“I probably wouldn’t know this much about them, but curious as they are the children began to… talk to me.” Kaisa said. It wasn’t quite a lie, but she was sure the story would make much more sense to Johanna if she could mention the Committee and the magic. Though perhaps that was for the better, since that would also mean admitting to taking her daughter through a magical maze, not to mention the ghost situation and the tide mice incident. She highly doubted that Johanna would appreciate it. “And I suppose we just got along. They’re very sweet kids, the three of them, and their curiosity brings them to the library quite often.”
Rather than being disturbed by some of her closest bonds being with children she had no family ties to, Johanna smiled like she understood.
“They really are lovely.” With great difficulty, Johanna managed to unstick one of the sweets from the tray. “It’s a shame I don’t get to talk much to Frida and David, though. Hilda usually doesn’t want her mother bothering her friends. I guess it’s just signs of pre-teenagehood showing up.”
After bringing the korvapuusti to her nose and sniffing it, Johanna had to do her best to hide a grimace at the smell. “Oh, goodness, I hope Matilda doesn’t get too upset about not serving dessert.”
“Eh, she’s probably done another batch earlier.” Kaisa said as a way of hiding the fact that Tildy would probably use a revitalization spell and serve them anyway. Currently, the librarian was more interested in something else she’d just spotted on the counter.
It was a small jar, not much bigger than a glass of water and filled to the brim with a cream coloured paste. She grabbed it so fast that Johanna blinked with surprise, and thought for a moment that she was trying to hide something.
“Tildy made condensed milk!” Kaisa chirped, sounding very much like an excited child as she opened one of the drawers and took out two tablespoons. “I mean, of course she did. She always puts it on the table when she makes korvapuusti in case anyone wants to add it on top, but she made so much this time! How lucky.”
As Kaisa scooped a spoonful of the viscous substance, Johanna bit back a smirk. If people truly did think Kaisa’s uncensored self wasn’t as interesting as the image she first showed them was, the woman would have to disagree strongly. Every time she’d seen the librarian in her work place, Kaisa had set in her the desire to get to know her better, and now that she was seeing beneath the mystery and the quietness, nothing changed; if anything, Johanna was even more intrigued. In her mind, she compared her to a good brownie: once you got past the crispy crust it was warm and soft inside, and both parts were just as good.
“You seem very close to her as well.” Johanna pointed out. “Between her and the children, you’re probably better off in the friend department than I am.”
Kaisa stopped scooping a second spoon to look at her, her brow furrowed. “Really? You look like a very popular person.”
Flattered, Johanna chuckled. “What makes you say that?”
“You’re nice.” Kaisa shrugged. “Nice people usually have a lot of friends.”
“Well, I’m glad that’s how I come across. But I’m afraid I don’t really have any friends. None human, at least.”
Johanna looked away and cringed. Great way to get people to like you, she told herself. Make them see how weird you are. It was ironic, really. She’d insisted so much on Hilda making some human friends, and in the end she was the one drinking her afternoon tea with a nisse. If Kaisa had thought she was nice rather than odd, like most people did, it wouldn’t last if she continued talking so freely.
There was no judgement, not even surprise, when she looked back at Kaisa’s face, though. She looked like she thought that what Johanna was saying made perfect sense.
“Now you have one.” She had set down the jar again and was raising one of the spoons up for Johanna to take. “If I might call myself that, I mean.”
“Oh.” Johanna smilled, a cool sensation of butterflies in her belly making her fidget with the hem of her sweater. “Yes, of course. I’d love to be your friend!”
Kaisa’s grin widened, and Johanna spent a second thinking about how beautiful the dark lipstick shade she was wearing looked on her before realizing she was still waiting for her to take the spoon.
“Oh.” Johanna gasped again, mentally kicking herself from fumbling over her words so much. She wasn’t normally like this, but Kaisa had no way of knowing this and would probably think her a complete fool before the night was over. “Shouldn’t we wait until after dinner?”
“What’s the harm? Hilda isn���t here, you know? You don’t have to set a good exemple.” Kaisa said even as lowered the spoon, as if to show that she wouldn’t pressure her to do it. However, the argument seemed to have been a good one, because as soon as she brought her own spoon to her lips to taste the condensed milk, Johanna gave in and picked up hers.
“This is really good!” Johanna said regardless of thinking that it was maybe a bit too sweet for her to be able to eat a whole spoonful of it. Kaisa didn’t seem to be having any problems with it, though, and she didn’t want to let her new friend down.
Kaisa leaned her back against the counter, pleased Johanna seemed to have liked it. Figuring it would probably be inappropriate if she kept watching her as she licked the condensed milk out of the spoon, which she firmly told herself she’d only been doing because she wanted to catch her reaction, Kaisa ran her eyes around the kitchen as she concentrated on her early dessert. Until, that was, her attention was caught by something on the doorframe.
“Did Tildy seriously put mistletoe in the kitchen?” She sighed, more to herself than to Johanna.
“Not fond of them?” Johanna asked with her gaze also focused on the bundle of green leaves and pearly white berries.
“I’ve no ill will towards them.” Kaisa ate the last of what was left on her spoon and wondered if it was worth it to wash it and get some more condensed milk. “I just feel like it can be a really stupid tradition. Can’t be pleasant to be under the mistletoe with someone you don’t like.”
“Yes, it must be uncomfortable.” While she answered, Johanna turned to face Kaisa, who was washing the spoon in order to put it back inside the drawer, figuring out Tildy would notice if too much of the condensed milk was gone. Realizing Kaisa had some of it in the corner of her mouth, anything else she might have said was snatched out of her tongue as the sudden thought that it truly was a pity that Kaisa didn’t appreciate that tradition popped in her mind. Embarrassed, she shook her head as if to expel that notion, and put the spoon in her mouth to finish eating as well. “I wonder where on earth it came from. Sounds random to say the least.”
Kaisa hummed in agreement, and though Kaisa offered to wash Johanna’s spoon as well, she insisted on cleaning up after herself. After they were both done, they decided they’d probably been away for longer than socially acceptable. It was probably already time for dinner, at that point.
As they retraced their steps, however, the two women stopped in front of the first door frame after the kitchen's, staring at the same thing for the same reason.
“Curious.” Johanna hummed. “I don’t remember that mistletoe being there.”
It escaped Johanna’s notice, but not Kaisa’s, that there was something out of the ordinary with the sprig. After a few seconds of watching it, a glittering speck of green dust fell from it, floating all the way to the ground. The witch’s shoulders hunched forward like they tended to do when she was annoyed. An illusion spell.
“I don’t think they were here before.” She hissed through clenched teeth, low enough for Johanna to not hear it. Every other room they passed by was the same: a small mistletoe where before there had been none.
“It was probably the weak lighting.” Johanna said as they passed by their fifth mistletoe, although she failed to convince even herself with that explanation. Kaisa might not have noticed it since she had just been looking forward to where they had been going, but Johanna had been paying very close attention to her surroundings. Maybe that house’s nisse had decided to add some decoration?
Kaisa did her best to smile and say “Yes, it probably was.”, knowing it must have looked way more like a growl. Right when they arrived back at the sitting room, her suspicions were confirmed. Not only did Tildy have her hand inside the pocket where she kept her wand, but also the look of curiosity she gave them when they came back spoke louder than any words.
“You’re back! We were just waiting for you to go to the table.” Tildy chirped, looking deep inside Kaisa’s eyes, looking for something.
“Someone better go call the children, then.”
Tildy looked away at Kaisa’s unwavering answer. Whatever she’d been looking for, and the librarian thought she had a pretty good idea of what it was, she hadn’t found it.
“And the korvapuusti?”
“I’m afraid you’ll have to use your extra batch.”
“Oh, well.” She got up with her boyfriend's aid. “There’s always next time, isn’t there.”
Something led Kaisa to believe she was not talking about the confections.
_#_#_#_
“It was great to spend some time with you, Kaisa!”
The librarian tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, hoping she didn’t look too happy to be hearing that.
“Likewise, Johanna.”
Would asking to see her again be too much? It probably would, but she could think of nothing else to say. They just stood perfectly still as they looked at each other, the cold from the night outside creeping into the house through the open door behind Johanna. Holding her mother’s hand, Hilda glanced back and forth at both of them with a curious frown.
“I guess I’ll see you at the library, then?” Johanna said at last, and Kaisa nodded.
“Yes. That’s… that’s where I’ll be.”
“Well, happy Bloom again! And good night.” At this point, Hilda was already trying to subtly drag her mother away. For someone who always complained about the Woodman leaving the door open, she thought Johanna really should pay more attention to that sort of thing.
“Good night to the two of you.” Said Kaisa. Finally happy that Johanna had began moving out, Hilda smiled and waved at the witch.
“Bye bye, Kaisa! See you when I see you!”
When the door was closed at last, and Kaisa was the only guest left (it didn’t matter that she was one of the strongest witches alive, Kaisa would feel bad if she left an elderly lady to clean up everything alone), Tildy surreptitiously crept up by her side.
“Did you at least get her number?” Tildy asked with a sigh, which made her former apprentice remember why exactly she’d been mad at her.
“Tildy.” Kaisa groaned, putting her hands on her waist. “I know you mean well, but you’re going a little too far. I barely even know Johanna and you’re already conjuring mistletoes around the house?!”
Saying that, she pointed to the spot one of the sprigs had been just a few minutes before, even though there was nothing there at that moment. The woman giggled, kneeling down with some difficulty to pick her familiar up when it walked to her.
“Oh, but I’ve a good eye for this sort of thing!” She defended herself cheerfully as she petted that thing she called a familiar. Kaisa had never seen eye to eye with it. It had a tendency of eating her books which hadn’t faded with time. “I saw some sparks flying and I decided to help along! Such a shame you didn’t grab the chance.”
Kaisa pinched the bridge of her nose. Sometimes she wondered if age was beginning to get the best of her old mentor. “Okay, fine, I think she’s cute. You’ve always been able to tell how I feel and I won’t deny it. But we both know close to nothing about her! She doesn’t even like mistletoes-”
“This younger generation.” Tildy scoffed, interrupting her. “So unromantic.”
“And even if her feelings were reciprocal.” Kaisa continued with a glare, figuring it was better to pretend she hadn’t heard that. No matter how old Kaisa got, she was always part of the ‘younger generation’ in Tildy’s eyes. “We’ve just properly met! “that’s way too forward and you know it, so don’t try to blame me for not making a move in the first five seconds of knowing someone.”
“Oh, Kaisa.” The sorceress sighed as she began walking away to the kitchen, so they both could start and finish their washing as soon as possible. “No need to get so defensive. I was only trying to help you, but I apologize if it made you uncomfortable in any way. However, as someone who wants nothing but your happiness, I need to ask you to reach out to that woman as soon as possible.”
Kaisa hugged her arms around her torso. Somewhy that idea was enough to make her afraid, even if she couldn’t tell what of. “It’s okay, Tildy. You don’t have to apologize, but I think I’ll wait until Johanna goes to the library again. We can talk a bit and… and then when she visits it again it won’t be weird to try and arrange another meeting somewhere else.”
Tildy stopped right in front of the sink and narrowed her eyes at Kaisa. “Were you not listening?”
“I was, but-“
“No buts!” She exclaimed, throwing a towel at Kaisa. Whether she wanted her to do the drying or she was just exasperated and wanted to throw something at her, she didn’t know. “Do you know why I’m dating Peter?”
“Hopefully because you love him?” Kaisa answered, somewhat stunned at the sudden change in topic.
“Very funny, aren’t you.” Opening the sink to begin her washing, Tildy snickered. “I mean, why am I dating him instead of already being married to him? I did already tell you we met when we were young.”
“Because you’re both broke and can’t take a loan since the bank doesn't like you.” Kaisa joked, which resulted in Tildy shaking her weat hand on her direction to send a couple of drops of water at her. Laughing as her she shielded her face from the water, she quickly added. “I’m kidding! It’s because you two didn’t talk for very long.”
Tildy nodded as she went back to washing. There was something sad in her eyes, and anyone else might have missed it. Kaisa, however, had spent too much time with her, had shared too many conquests and downfalls with this woman to not be able to pick it up.
“We met one night and fell in love almost instantly. But we knew nothing of each other… I spent my life hoping he’d find me, and he spent his life not being able to because he didn’t know how. He spent his life regretting not having asked me out on that first night. Do you see what I’m trying to tell you?”
“Be grateful Johanna knows where I work and for modern technology?”
Tildy gave her a glare that made her sure that if looks could kill, she’d need a spot at Guglow’s. Even her familiar, who had moved to lie atop of her head, seemed to be staring at her with impatience, and Kaisa sighed in defeat.
“I understand the lesson, Tildy. And even though I don’t really agree in this ‘love at first sight’ talk and your extreme carpe diem mentality, I’ll… try to do something. So as not to become a target for your crossbow practice, if anything.”
Finally pleased, Tildy smiled.
“Smart girl!”
_#_#_#_
“Hey, mum, what are you doing?”
Slouched over a cookbook in her bedroom, Johanna hadn’t even heard it when Hilda opened the door. Her daughter sat near her on the bed and tried to take a peak at what she was reading.
“I’m trying to find any condensed milk recipes in our old recipe book.” She explained, though she knew that at that point she all but had that book’s contents memorized. “Kaisa seems to like it a lot… she was very kind to both of us at the party, I wanted to make her something as a late winter festival gift, even if it’s just a batch of cookies.”
“Sounds like a good idea. You could take the chance and ask if she has any recipes she’d prefer.”
Finally Johanna dragged her eyes away from the book, and noticed Hilda had a sly smile on. “What do you mean?”
“The doorbell rang, remember? She’s at the door.”
“What?!” Johanna jumped from the bed, wondering how Kaisa knew where she lived before remembering she could have gotten the address from the library records, or from Frida, Matilda, and even from Hilda herself. Before leaving the room, she glanced at the mirror to check her appearance, which made Hilda lift an eyebrow.
She was sure she wasn’t imagining the blush on the librarian’s face when she opened the door, but she was more worried about the fact that she probably had one of her own.
“I wonder where it came from.” Kaisa quoted Johanna’s words from the night before, from when they’d seen the first mistletoe on the kitchen’s doorway, and bit back a grimace when she realized she’d forgotten to say “good afternoon”. There was no coming back from that, so she continued. “That’s what you said about the mistletoe’s tradition yesterday. I, ah, got curious. So I did some research and found out it actually comes from mythology. And biology. The biology of the plant mattered too, you see.”
There was a beat of silence in which Johanna just blinked at her, and Kaisa was afraid she’d slam the door on her face for turning up in her house out of the blue to talk about mistletoe lore the day after a holiday. Instead, she opened a grin.
“That sounds fascinating!” Johanna said, feeling her heart pick up pace. Not only had Kaisa truly listened to what she said, but she’d had the mind to look for answers and to come all the way to her house to tell her what she’d found. “I’m working on an evergreens pattern for a series of products, I actually think knowing more about these aspects of them would give me a lot of inspiration!”
Standing up a little straighter, Kaisa couldn’t hold back a breathy chuckle of relief that Johanna seemed to be taking that attempt well.
“I was hoping you’d let me tell you more about it over coffee?” She asked as she bit down on her bottom lip. “If you’re busy right now-”
“No, no!” Johanna waved her hands in front of her. “I’m completely free.”
Perhaps that hadn’t been the best thing to say, since she had just informed her that she was working on a project, but Kaisa didn’t seem skeptical of her answer at all, only happy. Her grey eyes lit up, as beautiful as the snow outside when the weak winter sun shone on it.
“Oh.” Kaisa breathed. She seemed surprised, and maybe even amazed by the situation, and it filled Johanna with warmth. If she seemed awe struck by something so simple, she couldn’t possibly be used to being appreciated, and Johanna couldn’t wait to change that. Figuring Kaisa had already done the most of the reaching out just by going there, she spoke up again.
“There’s a pretty good coffee house in the centre square.” She said. “We could take the chance to pick up some fallen Sostansil flowers, I loved pressing them in my journal when I was younger. Plus, I’m pretty sure they sell their cookbooks there, and I just discovered I need a new one.”
As if by work of magic, confidence seemed to return to Kaisa’s stance. “That sounds lovely!”
“I’ll just check with Hilda if it’s alright to leave her alone and-”
“Don’t worry about me.” Both of them startled when they noticed Hilda had been standing a few meters away, in the kitchen. “I’ve got to do homework and walk Twig.”
“Hilda, it’s impolite to listen to other people’s conversations.” Johanna called out. All the girl did was mutter an amused ‘sorry’ and walk back to her room.
Since when Johanna looked back at the librarian she didn’t look put off by Hilda’s behaviour, she took a step back and pointed behind herself.
“In this case, I’ll just grab my coat and we can go. I’d love to hear all about what you found out.”
Kaisa’s smile was the last thing Johanna saw before she ran off to her room. It was intriguing, she thought, how the mistletoe hadn’t needed to be above her head to help her.
Maybe, from then on, she’d like it a lot more.
#fic: nmaoh#my fic#sketchbook ship#sketchbook ship hilda#sketchbook ship fanfic#kaisa hilda fanfic#johanna hilda fanfic
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Omg icha your tags on that OBM post have me crying. I saw screenshots of that devilgram but i cant for the life of me remember what card it's from
I love Mammon so fucking much because of it, like Lucifer is over here doubting himself, regretting everything he did in the fall and believing he was in the wrong.
Then Mammon gives him motivation to keep fighting on, saying he'll follow Luci no matter what and it made me super emotional. And when you remember how Luci trusts Mammon the most out of the others it just means so much more to me, and thats there's so much more to their bond than Mammon being a troublemaker that Lucifer has to discipline.
DLKJFD HEY! it's a pleasure to suffer with you then, tho sorry for the random crying!
i found them on a post that analysed Mammon's character as the protector of his brothers and it's been living in my mind rentfree tbh! it's likely we saw the same post but since i saved the link, here's the link, and with the name of the cards those devilgrams are from, it should be those two Memory cards
(which makes me realize i have one of the two so now i know what Devilgram i'll read next-)
BUT YEAH i so much agree with everything you say!!
................
So huh i got. Carried away.
tbh i am fascinated with Post-Fall Character analysis on the brothers because man, having to go from angels to demons, with the trauma they were caring, the grief, the way their sins became bigger parts of themselves (like for exemple the way Beel's hunger developed and all - many thoughts trying not to go on tangent here), reconciling who they were with who they are becoming ... they had so much to adjust from.
and Lucifer in particular has to carry a lot about how this specific burden manifests, as one of the Favorite in Heaven, as his brothers's keepers, with the secret he has about Lilith ect... And i think esp post-fall there is an aspect of Lucifer that has to face that his anger was so violent, so powerful, he is now forced to face it as now a New Person in the family that he has to look at everyday. (i think he quickly got to see Satan as a brother and not an extension of himself don't get me wrong, but i think especially after the fall, this was the literal embodiment of his feelings and anger. Lucifer is someone who's at least prideful enough to try to stay in control of himself, and right after the fall, while he was still suffering from what the Fall implied, he couldn't forget how his anger manifested because this anger now has a life of his own).
I feel like Post-Fall Lucifer's feelings were all over the place, while also with the major pressure that he had to step up, take care of his brothers, of the impact of his rebellion, of knowing that since he had a bigger status than any of his brothers, Michael, Raphael, even perhaps Simeon, were all people who were much more on his mind regarding how he failed them, than it was for his others brothers. And the responsibility of now working for Diavolo, as well as the relief turned burden, of what happened to Lilith and the fact everyone's grief, that he had to manage with Mammon, all relied on the fact Lucifer couldn't tell them the truth. Like, all of the brothers had a lot to take in but the specific additions Lucifer had to take into account were A Lot.
And those Devilgrams especially, and those moments that shine through that shows how much Lucifer actually trusts Mammon, really showcase, to me, that the reason Lucifer is as stable as he managed to be is because Mammon is the one who stepped up and did everything to adjust for everyone.
And ofc there's also the idea of, if now they represent sins, they must have represented the opposite virtues as Angel, and the opposite of Greed being Charity has Mammon especially stepping out still also a part of his own sense of self. (re this post, yes maybe i really like the metas in here)
And tbh i would love to have more specific ideas about the way Mammon immediately reacted upon the trauma considering he immediately set himself as the caretaker, which, i think is in itself an extension of how he would show Charity. And i wonder if that's where his general gambling and stuff came from: having to fill the dread with the excitement of the moment, that living in the present was the best way to not let the past get to him, and as a result this can be how he can focus too into juggling between his brothers's traumas as well. (that and also the idea of rejecting his angelic side and all of that)
And the fact that back in Heaven Mammon was already someone Lucifer trusted a lot, i think all of this keeps adding up to cement Mammon in Lucifer's mind as the most reliable of them all because he has seen that Mammon's true nature is his ability to take care of those he treasures. He has seen Mammon in crisis that Lucifer himself couldn't handle, and saw how Mammon managed to push through and be the one to keep everything working.
And it's why he trusted Mammon with MC to start with imo, the fact he knows that despite everything "scummy" Mammon does, the scummy parts are mostly momentary, depending on whatever impulsive thing Mammon will indulge in at the moment. But that on the long run, Mammon is the one who can keep a clear head and be more sensible about the situation, who can keep a keen eye to see if someone isn't feeling well, and who knows how to handle it in case.
idk i have so many emotions about it so this text messages makes me very emotional because like... nowadays it's not like the brothers have to protect themselves from something big, and the brothers tend to be very self-reliant, so Mammon doesn't have to take care of them. And in a lot of occasions, they tend to not really back each other up, probably a mix of well "it's not that serious" and/or "well they had it coming" in some way.
but that in that text convos, basically, Mammon saw Belphie fuck up and probably just saw there his brother, more vulnerable, probably kicked in his protective instincts. And to see Mammon get protective like this, which surprised everyone except Lucifer?? i think it's likely the younger brothers don't really understand of the length Mammon went to to take care of them back then, while Lucifer is keenly aware of it. Probably also because the others brothers had to wrestle with their grief and sadness while Lucifer also had to deal with the responsibilities that came with all of this and so more than healing, Mammon helped him get himself back together so he could protect everyone else, making him even more aware of how precious Mammon's help was.
okay i kind of got lost in my point but i'm reaLLY emotional about post-fall things and the whole idea of Lucifer seeing Mammon as the most reliable of his brothers. And while the game mostly focus on the petty, silly brothers dynamics, the moments it reminds us of those serious moments really get to me
also, you know me, i'm an overthinking bastard, i'll take the crumbs i get and build a castle with them so behold the Mammon loving hours i guess????
Glad to be able to share those emotions with you 🥺
#ichareply#ichafantalks obm#ichatalks about obm#xkilluas#i play a little too much of it lately so my mind is really full and i'm just dLFJDLFK#sorry for the word ramble but. mind full#but i'm so glad to be able to share it with you!! glad you liked my tags then and hope you don't mind this mess
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Love in Literacy Ch.10 (Levi xFem!Reader)
Into her Mind:
(all updated on my ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30083745)
FOUR YEARS AGO.
“Hey!”
You lifted your chin from your hands. You didn’t know the girl standing in front of you, but you recognized her. Her eyes were a distinct piercing green. They almost seemed to glow under the hazy light emitting from the dimly lit gas lamp placed on the wall of the dining hall. Your tears had dried at this point, but you were still in a shitty mood. And the cocky grin she sported while she leered down at you wallowing in your misery only infuriated you further. You glared up at her.
“What the hell do you want?”
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EARLIER THAT DAY.
It was ridiculously hot. The sun beat down on you relentlessly. It left a stinging, sticky feeling on your skin, but you didn’t falter. You pounded the training dummy, every extension of your arm left it feeling sore. Eventually, you had to take a break. You leaned on your knees, taking in heaving breaths. Should I go shower now …? You pondered, as you took in a long, slow drink of water. As you were walking back to the bench to grab your sweat towel, you heard someone call your name. You looked back up to see Commander Shadis standing at the end of the bench, arms crossed stiffly behind his back as he returned your gaze.
“Good afternoon, could I borrow you for a moment?”
Shadis had never intimidated you, but as you took in his expression, an inexplicable feeling of dread washed over you, leaving the palms of your hands feeling clammy. You nodded and reluctantly followed him to the exit of the training grounds.
“Is there something you need, sir?” you asked, as the two of you came to a stop at the gate.
He observed your face for a moment, before releasing a tired sigh, and reaching into his coat. He pulled out a small envelope and held it out to you. You slowly grabbed it from him, and immediately noticed the bright red wax seal on it. A unicorn. You cocked a brow. The Military Police...? You shot him a confused look.
“Uh… what is this?”
He shifted uncomfortably where he stood. “I regret to be the one to tell you this, but we just received word that your mother has died.”
He kept talking for a while after that, but to be honest, you couldn’t really hear him. The world fell silent around you. You caught something about a strain of tuberculosis. Something about a neighbor finding her dead in her bed. You were only pulled from your trance when he placed a gentle hand on your shoulder.
“Take the day off soldier. The envelope contains her will and a letter to you.”
You stared blankly at the envelope. You didn’t want to open it, but you would have to eventually. You began to peel away at the seal, but you couldn’t stop your hands from shaking. I can’t do this right now, I'll open this later. You shoved the envelope into your jacket and headed back to your barrack.
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PLAY THIS FOR THIS SEGMENT
My Dandelion,
I hope this letter finds you well.
You sniffled. She must’ve had someone helping her write this, she never knew how to read or write very well.
It seems I’ve fallen ill. Dr. Jaeger has told me that he worries about my condition, and that it’s a very real possibility that I may die from this illness. So I wanted to send you this letter, in case of the worst possible outcome. Your old friend Milly is helping me write this letter. She’s a very kind young woman. Do you remember her? She lives next door, you two used to play together when you were younger. I remember feeling so grateful that you had a friend, the short-tempered crybaby you were, it was nothing short of a miracle. Well, I don’t want to make this letter too long, so I’ll get to the point now. To get the formalities out of the way, of course, all of my possessions go to you, my one and only daughter.
I should’ve realized it sooner, but it only occurred to me after I’d fallen ill that I’m old, and that I will die soon, whether it be from this sickness, or from something else. And I don’t want to leave anything unsaid. I’m sorry for the way I treated you growing up. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I should’ve given you the best childhood I possibly could’ve.
You had to stop reading here. You lowered the letter and took in a long, shaky breath. This was so like her. She made it sound so much worse than it was. She lashed out at you sometimes when you were younger. But it was never something you held her responsible for. It was so long ago. It was heartbreaking to think that she still felt guilty about it to her dying days. You sighed, and opened the letter back up to continue reading.
The death of your father, and the debt he left for us left me feeling resentful, and in my weakest moments, I took it out on you, and for that, I am so very sorry. But you know that I love you, and my love, through all my years, has never wavered. And I like to think that's the reason you’ve turned into the fine, brave young woman that you are. Words can not describe how proud of you I am. Although, when you told me you wanted to join the Scout Regiment, I can’t say that I didn’t question your judgment. But I decided a long time ago that I wouldn’t interfere with your decisions. All I ask is that you live a respectable life, and that you are kind to the people around you. It makes a bigger impact on the world than you might think. And you should try keeping that temper of yours in check, or else you won't make any friends. I love you, dandelion. Please live happily, even if I’m no longer there beside you.
You stared blankly at the bottom of the page, as if that would somehow make more words appear on the letter. But that was it. You closed the letter. And now the tears just wouldn’t stop. So you just sat there, crying silently, until you eventually fell asleep.
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“What the hell do you want?”
Her smile only grew at this.“Sorry, I didn’t realize the princess must remain undisturbed.”
You shot up from your seat on the stairs, fists clenched. This is why you were hesitant to leave your room. What a bitch.
“I don’t have to deal with this right now,” you said coolly, as you got up from your seat on the staircase.
She flinched as you stepped forward, but as she saw that you were aiming to walk past her, she regained confidence. “H-hey wait,” she said, placing her hand on your shoulder. “I wanted to-”
“Don’t fucking touch me!” you barked, shoving her hand off. “Just leave me alone!”
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After the girl had stormed off, Marla stood at the staircase, still slightly dumbfounded by the interaction. Maybe I’m not as good at flirting as I thought … Naw. That can’t be it, she decided, giving herself a confident grin. But it had gone really bad. She was more temperamental than she had anticipated.
“Marla!”
Marla whipped her head back to see Hange running towards her, with a goofy grin on their face.
“I just saw her walking off. She looked pissed. What’d you do?” Hange panted. “I thought you were just going to flirt with her a little bit.”
“I was! And I didn’t do anything. I knew she was hot-headed, but this is a whole different level!” she said, throwing her hands up in exasperation. Hange gave her a look of disbelief.
“I told you you should've done it another time! You really need to leave people alone when things like this happen.”
Marla gave Hange a dumb look. “...When things like this happen...?”
Hange gave her an equally dumb look. “...Didn’t you know?” Hange asked, cocking their head curiously. Marla smacked her head.
“Obviously not if I’m asking you, dim-wit.” she groaned. “So spill it. What happened?”
“Her mother died this morning.”
The blood drained from Marla’s face.
“...Are you serious?” she said quietly.
“Mhm.”
Fuck.
“Tell me that shit before I go!” she fumed. “How could you let me go try to flirt with her when her mother died this morning!” she hissed, as her face grew a bright shade of red. Ugh, I should’ve known better than to rely on Hange for social tact.
Hange threw their hands up in innocence. “Hey, since when is it my job to keep you informed? I thought you would know because you were so interested in her.” they jeered, throwing their arm over Marla’s shoulder playfully. “Don’t sweat it too much, Marla! Just apologize another day.”Marla groaned.
“Ugh, please just shut up.”
Marla ran her hand through her hair. She had messed up.
I need to fix this.
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THE FOLLOWING MORNING.
“I’m sorry.”
Chatter bounced off the walls of the dining room in the morning breakfast rush, as scouts hurried to get their food before the good stuff ran out. You stared up at her blankly from your seat on the bench. She looked different from yesterday. Nervous now. Her face was a light shade of pink, and her hands refused to stop fiddling with the loose cloth of her t-shirt. You looked back down at your food, chomping off a large bite of your bread.
“Okay.”
Silence.
“...O-okay? Is that all you’re going to say?”
God, what the hell did she want from you?
“Mhm.”
“Well, do you accept my apology?”
You opened your mouth to tell her to buzz off, but something stopped you.
“And you should try keeping that temper of yours in check, or else you won't make any friends.”
You sighed and forced a frigid smile onto your face. You better be grateful for this.
“Sure.”
She stared at you, mouth agape. She could’ve at least tried to hide her shock, you thought, rolling your eyes. You focused back on your meal until you heard a quiet laugh. You flipped your head back to where she stood and saw her giggling. She immediately clamped her hand over her mouth when you met her gaze, eyes wide.
“What?”
“I’m sorry...but why’d you smile like that? It looked so forced.” She said quietly, slowly moving her hand from her face. Finally, she let out the sharp laugh she’d been stifling. “I remember thinking, ‘I wonder what she looks like when she smiles’...I did not expect that.” She cackled. Any attempt to hide her laughter had vanished. You stared at her, unsure of how to respond. You heard quiet snickers circulating around the tables near you, and your face began to heat up.
“Who the hell are you to judge how I smile! You should be lucky I smiled for you at all!” You exclaimed, in a shrill voice. You hopped up from your seat and began to walk to the exit. Marla's face fell.
“Wait, I’m sorry-”
“I shouldn't have bothered. Screw you." You could feel everyone's eyes boring into your back, but you didn’t care. You just needed to leave.
You woke up the next morning still feeling groggy. As expected, it hadn’t been easy to go to sleep. But thankfully, you didn’t have to get up early for training. You were to return to Shiganshina today for your mother's burial, so you had the day off. As you were beginning to freshen up, you jerked your head to the door at a loud banging. What the heck? You hurriedly threw on your coat and cautiously walked to the door. You slowly pulled it open and popped your head out of the opening, darting your eyes left and right, searching for whoever had knocked. But there was no one. You sighed. Did they knock just to run away? How immature. You pushed the door open further, and you felt a small thump against the door. You looked down and saw a small, white box, topped with a sloppily placed red bow. You eyed it warily, before quickly picking it up and hurrying back into your room
You sat at the edge of your bed. Who could’ve done this? You mentally ran through all of your fellow soldiers, but you weren’t close enough to any of them to warrant gift giving. Could it be something horrible? Would you open it and find a mangled, bloody hand? Or maybe a set of human eyes?
...
Dear God, how old were you? It’s just a box. You shook your head in disbelief as you hastily pulled it open. The sweet scent of strawberries wafted up into your nose as you did, and inside the box were 6 identical pieces of powdered bread. You gingerly picked one up and observed it. Sugar? You’d never had sweet bread before. Growing up, it was a delicacy your mom couldn’t afford. You brought it up to your face and gave it a sniff. You coughed as powdered sugar ran up your nose. After you'd gathered yourself, you noticed a small note tucked in between the pieces and pulled it out.
I’M SORRY ABOUT YESTERDAY. I HEARD YOU LIKE STRAWBERRIES.
-MARLA
You folded the note back neatly and put it back in the box. You picked up a piece of bread and took a small careful bite.
It tasted really good.
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A YEAR AND A HALF AGO
“Get your hands off of me!” you seethed.
“You have to stay in bed! You have internal bleeding...if you fracture your rib again, it could stab your organs!” Hange pleaded as they gripped your shoulders tightly. “They just healed! They’re fragile!” But you couldn’t hear them. You saw their mouth moving, but you couldn’t make out the words. Your obliviousness infuriated you.
“You know I can’t hear you, so shut the fuck up!”
“Goddamnit, why are you so adamant on dying? If I let go of you, where the hell would you even go?!”
Only a high-pitched ringing in your ears.
“I can’t hear you!” you screamed, thrusting your body wildly to escape from their grip. “I can’t hear you!”
Nurse Lana and her assistant came rushing in. The assistant hovered behind Lana, hands trembling and eyes wide, like a wounded animal. Nurse Lana whipped her head to Hange in bewilderment.
“What happened?! I left you two alone for five minutes!” she shouted.
“She’s lashing out again! I-I think we might need some anesthesia!”
“Maria! Grab the anesthesia!”
“Y-yes ma’am!” she squeaked. Maria sprinted out the door, pale as a sheet. She seemed pretty eager to leave the room.
Lana hurried over to your bedside. She pulled a small clipboard from her coat and quickly scribbled something on it. After she was done, she held it out to you. You stopped thrashing around momentarily to read it, taking in short, labored breaths as you did.
PLEASE CALM DOWN.
“No! Let me leave!”
Maria came scurrying in with a bottle and some syringes and hurriedly began preparing them. Your eyes widened at the sight. Anesthesia? Your breathing became quicker and your chest felt like it was about to burst as you locked your eyes on the bottle. You didn’t want to go to sleep. You couldn’t go to sleep. You couldn’t handle the nightmares.
“...H-hey! What the hell is she doing!” you said, jerking your head up to Hange, who was still holding you down from behind. “Hange, what is she doing! Y-you know that stuff gives me nightmares!” Hange looked at you, pain painted on their expression as they tore their gaze away from yours. They couldn’t even meet your eye. A pit opened in your stomach.
“Let go of me! You can’t put that shit in me!” you shouted. You began tugging away from Hange with a newfound ferocity that obviously caught them off guard, because one of your arms finally managed to escape their grip. You immediately began attempting to free your other arm. Nurse Lana stared momentarily at the scene in disbelief.
“How the hell can she move like that...” she muttered, furrowing her brow, she rubbed her temples, and then looked back to Hange. “Hange! You need to keep her down or I won't be able to inject her!” she urged.
“I know! But she’s strong!”
“She can barely walk! Handle it!”
Your freedom was short-lived. Soon enough, Hange had you within their grasp again, and the Nurse was walking over to your bedside, syringe in hand.
You shot Hange one last desperate look. Please.
You had always been shitty at reading lips, but you were able to catch what Hange said as she looked down at you, with a guilt-ridden expression.
I’m sorry.
You felt the needle go into your arm, and the world around you fell silent.
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“Marla!” you shout at her, “Marla please stop!”
She cannot hear you.
You step in front of her.
She cannot see you.
You tug at her arm, pulling it away from her face.
She cannot feel you. So she continues biting the flesh from her arm. Chewing it thoughtfully and deliberately, as if it were her last meal. Finally, she looks back at you. She stares deeply inside of you.
“Would you like a bite?”
“...What?”
“Would you like a bite?”
You gasp as she brings her bloodied arm towards your mouth. An offering.
“N-no thank you, and please stop biting it. You're going to die.”
She tilts her head curiously.“Isn’t that what you want?”
“What are you talking about! Of course not!”
“But I saw.”
“...W-what?”
“Inside of you,” she says softly. She looks sad.
“That’s ridiculous,” you mutter bitterly.
“Would you like a kiss?”
“Yes.”
She kisses you softly, and you can feel yourself melting. Her sweet lips on yours again are like heaven. She pulls back slightly to take in a breath, eyes still lingering on your lips. She kisses you again, but this time more deeply, with more desire. You feel her tongue slide against your bottom lip. Oh, how you wanted to feel this again, even if it was just one more time.
But it quickly goes sour. Suddenly, Marla’s eyes flick open, and her grip on the back of your head tightens, to the point of pain. You try to squirm away, but she holds your chin firmly still with her other hand. *You feel something dripping from her mouth into yours, and you quickly realize its blood. And then, you feel something else enter your mouth. Her tongue? No. You realize with a sinking horror that she's shoving her arm meat from earlier into your mouth. You take in a sharp breath from shock, which involuntarily causes you to swallow a bit. You jolt backward, escaping her grasp, gagging. You collapse onto your forearms and knees, hacking spit, trying to get the taste from your mouth. But it's impossible. No matter how many times you spit, the sour taste of her blood remains on your tongue.*
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Marla watches you from above, with a stony face. You look back up to her panting, eyes brimming with tears. When she sees you looking at her, she cracks a cold smile.
“I knew you’d eat it.”
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A COUPLE WEEKS AGO
You stared at your clock, and let out a groan. Where were they? You wondered, chewing at the end of your pen. They were supposed to have been here an hour ago. Maybe I should just go back to my room. You’d been waiting here for a while. Something might’ve come up with her, and you couldn’t wait in the library all night. With a small grunt, you pulled yourself up from your chair and began gathering your things, when you saw some movement in your top peripheral. You shot your head up, and you watched as Isabel charged through the door, and up to the front of your desk, a panting mess. You stared at her mouth, but with how fast she was talking, in combination with the fact that she seemed to be stuttering over every one of her sentences, it was hard to catch it all.
“Isabel! I have no idea what you're trying to say!” you snickered. “Please catch your breath and calm down.”
“Oh-oh yeah...okay sorry,” she breathed, pulling up a chair. “I said, ‘I’m so sorry I’m late and ‘Shadis kept us out for training longer than usual’ and ‘Levi didn’t want to come, he said something about needing to focus on the expedition’.”
“Oh, okay,” you said, offering her a small smile. “Well, let's just sit,” you told her, pulling up a second chair.
Why didn’t Levi come? He’s the one who said he wanted to have a second reading lesson. You sighed. But it did make sense. Perhaps it was presumptuous of you to assume that your lesson would be at the top of his priorities right now. Besides, you’d be lying to yourself if you said that you weren't just using these meetings to distract yourself from the expedition. Yout turned back to Isabel, who was patiently waiting for you to begin the lesson.
“Ready to begin?”
“Yes ma’am!” she piped.
“Ah Isabel, don't call me ma’am,” you said through a shy laugh.“It makes me feel like someone's granny.”
“Oh! Sorry!”
“It’s alright... Well anyways, how about we pull out a piece of paper and see how signature practice is going?” you said, as you carefully ripped out a loose sheet from your notebook, handing it to Isabel. She immediately got to work. She shut her eyes tightly and quickly moved her hand across the page. After she was done, you pulled the page from her, analyzing the work. She stared at you apprehensively, shifting in her seat. It was really good. As good as Levi’s had been. A surge of pride surged through your chest.
“So? How is it?” she whispered.
“Isabel, this looks amazing! I think you’ve completely memorized it!” you grinned.
“Really!?”
“Yeah!”
“Wow!” she exclaimed, jumping up from her seat.
“Isabel, wait a moment here, I have just the thing for the occasion!”
“O-okay!”
You ran over to your desk and pulled out a small brown paper bag from a drawer, and then back to the table. You pulled out a piece and held it out to her. She gave you a confused look.
“What is it?”
“It’s sweet bread! Take a bite!”
“Well...okay then. Thanks!”
She stared at it momentarily, and you couldn’t help but crack a small smile at the awe in her eyes. It reminded you of the first time you’d had a sweet. You watched in amusement as she took a small bite, chewing it slowly. You frowned.
“Oh no, that’s no good! Take a bigger bite! How else are you going to get the jelly at the center?” you chuckled. “Like this!” You pulled out another piece from the bag, and took a large bite, powdered sugar falling onto your upper lip. You swallowed and gave her a wide grin.
“Like that.”
“Okay, okay, I’ll go again.” She giggled. She imitated the bite you took, stifling a small smile. After she swallowed, she stared down at the bread. Out of nowhere, tears started pouring out of her cheeks, and you jumped up from your seat.
“Woah, woah, what's wrong?” you asked, furrowing your brow.
“No, no, it’s nothing!” she flushed a deep shade of pink, fervently wiping her tears away. “...It’s just really good,” she said, softly.
You gave her a soft smile.
“It is, isn’t it?”
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“You have sugar on your face,” Levi said.
The two of you sat together in the garden, eating sweet bread. The warm sun felt lovely on your skin.
“Oh, what?” your face began to heat up, as you wiped aimlessly at your mouth. You looked back at him.
“Uh, did I get it?”
“Come here.”
“...What?”
He slipped his hand onto your lower back, and he tugged you towards him. When his hand made contact with your back, you felt a tingling shock run up your spine. Your faces were just inches away. He gently grabbed your chin, wiping it away with his thumb. Your heartbeat rose from your chest to your ears.
“Thank you,” you said, as you began shying away from his hand.
But he still held your chin.
He pressed his lips against yours. Your chest felt like it was going to burst. The feeling made you want to run away and hide, but at the same time, you didn’t want anything to interrupt the moment. Your lips parted slightly, and Levi’s followed suit. They were soft. You felt his tongue creeping into your mouth…
Your eyes flickered open. Your eyes darted back and forth the room, taking in your surroundings. You had fallen asleep in the library. You sighed and placed your hand on your cheek. It was warm. Really warm. You sighed. This is literally the last thing I need right now, you thought, glumly. You covered your face in your hands, and let out an obnoxious groan. You needed to calm down. After you were done having your moment, you pulled yourself away from your hands.
Well…Time to suppress that memory.
You stretched your arms, and leapt up from your chair, and began to head out of the library. By the end of the day, you’d forgotten about the dream.
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
#levi x y/n#levi x reader#snk levi#levi aot#levi attack on titan#levi#ao3 fanfic#aot#attack on titan#aot hange#angst#fanfic#fluff#fanfiction#erwin smith#slow burn
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It looks like @soweirdondisney converted me - I loved Secrets of Sulphur Springs! The show reminded me of So Weird in so many ways, but beyond that, it really is the best family show Disney’s made in years. (Admittedly I haven’t watched most recent shows, heard Andi Mack might’ve been on the same level.)
While Sulphur Springs is aimed at Disney Channel’s usual demographic, maybe a few years older, it seems more like a show that everyone could enjoy together. The adults remind me of So Weird because they’re actual characters who parent their children. Griffin and Harper don’t get a free pass whenever they time travel. Their parents see through the lies and realize their kids are missing, even if they don’t find out where their kids really went. And as for the younger cast, while they’re the stereotypical Disney siblings, they don’t steal the spotlight. I was surprised by how little screen time they get considering this is a Disney show. I even liked scenes with Harper’s younger brother Topher - while he’s the “wise beyond his years” trope, they give his character unexpected depth.
As for the story line, it kept me hooked, enough that I watched all eleven episodes in the span of three days. And I’m definitely watching Season 2 when it premieres next year. (Does the wait stink? Yes, but as someone who watches Stranger Things, I’ll deal.) Spoilers below the break...
Since I just finished the season today, I have to start out by saying that the wrap-up to Savannah mystery was underwhelming. But I’ll give it a pass because this IS a Disney show; they’re not writing it for my age group. And it’s not even a bad ending - I love the idea of Savannah finding a foster family in 1960. I just wish the writers bumped up the reveal a notch or two. This is the central mystery of the series and then...oh there she is, she stayed in the past. There needed to be a much bigger impact on present day. The whole town mourned Savannah and thought she was a ghost, so I would’ve liked to see the news sweep through Sulphur Springs. Campbell and Dunn families reading the letter at a school assembly, the local paper making it front-page news, everyone putting the mystery to rest.
It also invites more speculation - people might not be as happy as Ben is to find out Savannah ran away. Where did she end up? Is she still alive? How did a twelve-year-old evade the authorities’ attempts to find her? It felt like the writers were too quick to move on from the mystery after it had been wrapped up. I would’ve liked the remaining episodes to be fallout from the letter and the part about Harper’s father stretched out into next season. Though, I suspect they’re going to revisit Savannah’s disappearance in season 2, especially since they’re keeping her character as part of the cast.
As for the real ghost, Harper’s father seems like the obvious choice until the last episode. I wonder if the rocking chair person is a misdirect, and we’ll find out Harper’s father just made the chair rock to communicate. Or maybe there’s more than one ghost at The Tremont. I love how this show combines ghosts and time travel, so I’m looking forward to more of the ghost angle in the new season. (Another way it’s like So Weird - they both merge supernatural with sci-fi. To this day I still want to know how aliens were going to help Fi fight demons.)
I have so many more thoughts on this show, and could probably write a separate post about parallels with So Weird...and maybe I will...but this more than enough for now!
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