#maybe im the only person with this need 😭😭
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another watercolor painting!! im going through my pokemon sun playthrough as ricky, and this outfit is what i dressed her up in ^_^ i tried to match her band au fashion as much as possible 🫡
i’ve got game screenshots and long ass ramble under the cut 😭
realizing tumblr can let me ramble continuously as much as i want so i could talk about my thoughts and my previous pokemon runs too woaw...maybe i’ll post pics of those playthroughs one day, but probably on my main blog instead 🤔
here's ricky's current team where i’m at and what she looks like in game!! i was sooo peeved that twin tails are locked in post game, even if they don’t even look like ricky’s hairstyle at all, i just think she needs some kind of ponytail…i used to have her with straight bangs to imitate her three bangs style, but it kinda looked ugly af… :V
i’m just before vast poni canyon so gummy will soon be the rail gun beetle that ricky deserves ^_^ i decided on a sweets/dessert nickname theme, tho i did consider a norse mythology theme, but i thought she’d be more cutesy in a pokémon au/world where she is not in life threatening stakes.
i want to write out my reasonings for each pokémon pick too, this team isn’t exactly what i had in mind since it’s limited to the sun pokédex, but i’m pretty fond of them!! mostly, i thought she could have a non-dex rotom (but since it’s like this, her rotom dex is definitely named mike), and i also thought she’d have a porygon - but u can only get it post-game and i’d have to deal with trade evolutions o<-<
i also chose pokémon sun as ricky’s game since i headcanon her to be wasian HAHA specifically japanese and american/german - since hawaii is known for its japanese immigrant population (which is also reflected in the game itself), i liked the idea of her having an actual game background of immigrating from kanto
1. alolan raichu - pikachu is the iconic mascot, just like ricky XD alolan raichu shares her love of sweets, and i think lets her identify with being alolan too
2. vikavolt - he’s a rail gun!! ricky should always have fun with guns. i think ricky has an affinity with machines, and vikavolt has gundam aesthetics hehe. his pre evolutions are cute too, which i think ricky would like. notably he’s another electric type, a remnant from when i used to have ricky as an electric type specific trainer, before i decided to diversify types for eo teams. rotom also would’ve been another electric type…😅
3. metagross - another association with machines—it reminds me of gladsheim as well. i like the juxtaposition of this hulking creature made of metal next to ricky too. showing off her cute and cool sides...
its name is ike as a companion to mike, making them fit into the sweets theme LOL
4. wigglytuff - i headcanon that ricky enjoys singing (and is the lead singer in band au) so i wanted a music related pokémon. maybe in universe, she would stay as a jigglypuff?
5. toucannon - also because of gun. i actually hunted a shiny version, bc it looks like the bi pride flag aghdjshfd. i think ricky can be prone to have a temper, matching toucannon's angry look
6. alolan ninetales - ok so i was conflicted bc i wanted an ice type, as a reference to ricky’s cryo sleep lol, and i was also considering vanillite bc ice cream… but its moveset sucks ass!!! sorry!!!! i do like ninetales as an additional reference to her heritage though…i have vanillite in rosa’s hypothetical team too so it wasn’t really meant for ricky in the first place :P
honorable mentions:
i chose litten as her starter since i think she’s a cat person, and also someone who likes buff people……….
vanillite like i mentioned—harder to catch than i thought cause it needs to be snowing for this guy to show up as an sos helper >:0
alolan exeggutor - long long yggdrasil
this turned out a lot longer than i thought im not used to writing down so much even in tweet threads but it was fun to spill out some of the very specific things i think about in my day to day lol...if you somehow read all of this, thank you for your time wakjhsdg 🙇🏻♀️
#etrian odyssey#eou#frederica irving#pokemon#raughh lots of things i can improve on but its been fun...must simply practice traditional media more 😤
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Can’t go on nexus mods it’s bad for my health
#they are de sexying all the companions over there#what follows is absolutely a me problem!!!#i also don’t want my female presenting tavs to look feminine or pretty and there’s no mods to accommodate that ☹️#i just hate that the default for female presenting people is feminine and pretty and whatever. like that’s nice but i want more ways#to express myself 🫣#but i don’t know how to make mods so I don’t really have the right to demand anything#maybe im the only person with this need 😭😭#no body scars mods but 1#no eyepatch EYEPATCH
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rewatching this over and over again.. mainly bcs tarn makes soundwave into a manlet but also bcs it's hilarious
#thunderhowl at the copilot doing Absoluteky nothing then being surprised when shadowstriker is unfamiliar with the terrain: :D#i get ure a theater kid but CAN U STOP BEING SO CRYPTIC#bumblebee moving to the wall like the only smart person#optimus just wants to find the source#had to include soundwave being the bitchiest person for no reason at the end of course 🩵 mi lady#somebody help tarn bro only has one arm 😭😭#hes not even using it against a wall or anything like hes just trying to keep his balance#everybody panicking while shadowstriker doesnt give a fuck#girlboss shit she does every day and no one cares it pisses me off yall need to appreciate my mean lesbian like yall appreciate her mean gay#bestie#thunderhowl :) bcs he wants soundwave to struggle probably. i mean at the cost of others maybe risking a concussion? sure#theyre both so petty but try to act too cool to be in their own lame ways. im obsessed with them#he was hoping soundwave was gonna land in his lap 💔#somehow from all the way back there LMFAO if his terrains can defy gravity so can his beloved annoyance ok. he believes#im a filthy multishipper so i need tarn and soundwave to have more fic & kiss too bcs it's literally tarn being like I Know What You Are#(a Bttm) to soundwave and soundwave having to screw his lips into a smile & be like teehee of course.. only to be like (u forgot the Brat*)#at the end like. why are they like that. tarn holding him by the waist with 1 arm being like i got u bbgirl meanwhile hes getting#60000 concussions and soundwave is trying So hard not too laugh.. TOO loudly. (tarn thinking hes so anime protag rn)#tf cyberverse#soundwave#tarn#thunderhowl#shadowstriker#bumblebee#optimus prime#maccadam#transformers#I CANT BELIEVE I HAD ENOUGH ROOM FOR THESE TAGS!
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I'm once again thinking about the missed opportunities to have Klaus and Kol bond more. Part of Klaus' whole motivation as a vampire is to get his werewolf part back and to finally be stronger than Mikael (sort of, I'm simplifying) both of which can be obtained by breaking his curse. But Kol? Kol is the only other original that can relate to having a fundamental part of themself ripped away from them. Klaus might not have known he was a werewolf until he killed, but he likely still had a connection he couldn't explain, as evident by him going to watch the wolves transform. And something he'd never been able to explain was now gone. He might only be able to realise the connection afterwards through its absence.
Kol though. Kol had grown up with magic, a connection to nature and the world around him in a way the rest of his siblings supposedly didn't have. And then he gets turned. And not only has his baby brother died, his father has just murdered him and the rest of his siblings after forcing them to drink human blood, which he'll later learn. Now, not only does he have to deal with the grief of Henrik's death and also his own but also the loss of his magic. A loss that's likely only worsened by Kol being a self-proclaimed child prodigy.
Kol is pretty much the only one who could understand what Klaus is going through with the binding of his wolf. We know Kol searched for ways to get his magic back/carry on practicing magic in the same way that Klaus was looking for ways to break his curse. While Klaus likely could still feel his wolf there despite being bound, Kol has no access to his magic anymore. I just think they should've been able to bond or connect over their shared loss of an intrinsic aspect of their selves at the hands of their parents
#TVD#The Mikaelsons#Kol Mikaelson#Klaus Mikaelson#briefly back on my the originals shouldve gotten to be a family goddammit and as someone from a big family im personally offended bs#i did right a lil snippet about them bonding over this that i havent posted yet for the joml verse but still think its an unexplored concep#need more witch!kol acknowledgement honestly. just need more content of my boy#anyway. klaus having a fascination with the moon and kol telling him about celestial events and how it affects his magic when theyre boys#klaus losing that connection to the moon feeling lost & extra tempermental feeling his wolf claw at its binds and vowing to break his curse#kol determined to get his magic back at any cost relating to that devasting loss and promising to help him find a loophole for his curse#kol who becomes extra reckless and determined when he learns that theres a way to break klaus' curse so maybe he can get his magic back too#that knowledge and recklessness combined with his loss of magic driving him to become the volatile vampire that we see#that leads to him being daggered repeatedly but that first time breaks something in that bond between him & klaus that never fully recovers#it makes him bitter and resentful only fueling his reckless behaviour particularly when there seems to be no leads on reclaiming his magic#that he becomes distant from his siblings in the process especially with finn still daggered but that distance only cements the idea#to his siblings that hes a danger and cant be trusted that he needs to be daggered if theyre to stay safe from mikael#the loss of his magic leading to his spiral as a vampire and him being ostracised by his family > actual tvdu kol canon#klaus being trapped in a room staring at the corpse of his little brother knowing he never repaired that relationship with him#and now he never can so he refuses to look away as penance and a reminder of his failings to his little brother#*edit: one of the reblogs on this post is the author of big bad wolf and honestly she does an amazing job at portraying the mikaelsons#as actual siblings if you havent read it its one of my favourites for characterisations but we need more 😭 i want it to be the norm
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seeing a lot of koreans hating on/complaining about the sm game caterers #twinning
#the more i look at it the more i hate it#even tho theres ppl there that i like a lot#the balance and vibes overall are soooo bad#and everyone complaining about the same people (doyoung seulgi suho wonbin karina) bc they dont do well in variety 😭😭😭#and somebody else said oh this is like a gathering of the company bootlickers 😭😭😭😭☠️😭☠️#i saw many ppl say they shouldve brought yesung instead of leeteuk..... idk about that.... maybe i need to check out suju content again cos#i dnt rmr that guy being that funny#im just thankful they didnt bring heechul#also some czennies saying they shouldve brought johnny or yuta instead of doyoung and brought yeri instead of seulgi.... im afraid i didnt#see the vision at first but now i see it.....#also saw this one person say they shouldve brought minho instead of key and i couldnt disagree more..... key is able to control himself and#go with the flow but minho is too passionate and he gets serious about games WAY too easily#and it wouldnt go well with this team especially bc its full of awkward unfunny people....#also saw some ppl say they shouldve invited eunseok instead of wonbin and i kind of agree.... wonbin is too slow and too unfunny and awkwar#eunseok is awkward but at least he's funny about it#i dnt think sohee would do well in this tho he always freezes up in front of sunbaes and he's not that funny either#also aespa wise all four of them are unfunny and awkward in front of other artists but karina freezes up the worst of them all#if they changed other artists i feel like giselle would do well in this#exo wise all the real funny members left sm and the medium funny members are busy so suho was the only choice left#chanyeol has the same problem as minho. sehun isnt funny. kai is in the military. only suho left.....#also cant believe ppl r doubting hyoyeons variety abilities shes gotten so much better over the years!!!!!! however i do agree that yuri#wouldve been a great choice as well#oh and back to aespa after reading some more comments i see a lot of ppl mentioning ningning but i feel like this would also depend on#changing the current line up. more especifically the nct one and red velvet one#shes not funny and she also freezes up badly + needs support to fully unleash her charm in variety shows. plus shes not competitive at all#ok thats it on my analysis so far after reading many comments and rewatching the teaser a couple of times#i could analyse these ppl all day.... love reading other ppls comment on this#i feel like na pd is to blame partially for this fail but also sm artists just arent as close as they used to be lol#01
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:(
#i literally feel VIOLENTLY ill at the fact the hospital handled my mum’s passing so badly that her funeral is exactly ONE MONTH after it#i’ll forever be furious and angry and hurt and traumatised by the way they handled it#like A MONTH#it should not be happening this long after#and it’s her birthday on sunday so maybe i’m just feeling ten times worse because of that#but it’s not fair#it’s never gonna be fair#why the FUCK did she get taken from me like this#and then having to be the only one who knew about her funeral plans bc she only told me#and then everybody including my dad tells me how strong i am#IM NOT STRONG!!?!!?!??!?#i’m a girl who needs her mama. i’m just a girl who is so lost and confused and needs her mama#i literally want 2 die#tw death#i turned my tv off and immediately started crying bc i felt like the worst person in the world#did i not love her enough#should i have been better to get#*her#idk i just want her to know i adored her#and i need to hear her voice and get a hug#one of the last things she said to me was ‘i love you more’ well i love you most so how about that#tw grief#i am never getting over losing her#please . feel free to let me rant i just feel like i can’t talk to my dad or family bc like idk .#i always talked to my mum about my emotions and well! that can’t happen anymore lmfao 😭#i just need a place to vent the HELL out of my feelings bc i am not going back to therapy
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The woobification of Gotham rogues needs to be studied
#theyre WHITE no studying needed actually#FYM 20 kills a year#‘as long as u stay outta the way you’ll be fine’ 😭#baby they get in ur way#i thought#well no think I AM dramatic about this and am self aware enough not to make it it’s own post#but my whole thing with like. vague background characters in fanon#Idk it’s so fascinating#like side character is there to side character but the way y’all write or talk about them#Idk it’s so ugh#like It’s not me feeling for the character ig it’s a who do u think u are thing#which like u think ur ur fave ur projecting on ur fave that’s why u woobify them so much#Uhm anyways#i promise I have thought behind that it’s just not that necessary to this convo#SPEAKING OF#baby Ivy ain’t gon spare u bc u grew a flower PLEASEEEEBFR#hq show and it’s consequences#‘the rogues only hate capitalism’ uhm no#and even if they did the issue is they take that anger out with civilians as collateral damage it’s a parallel for bruce and smth he needed#to grow from#not letting them die obvi but like more care and concern for the common person he’s always been kind deep deep deep inside but it was a#process for him to be like maybe it’ll scare this old lady if I crawl into her bedroom and ask about her mugger#that concerns he learns is as a result of the rogues not caring#istg there was like a short stories comic of this….#like snippets of henchmen and civilians living their regular lives then getting fucked yo#UP#anyways#maybe it was not the premise of the comic but like scattered throughout? was it Batman 🧍🏾♂️#ANYWAYS NOT THE POINT THE POINT IS#Im gonna hold ur hand when I say this but they don’t give a fuck about you ur civilian 4 to them
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i love doodling swapinverse like hello drawing characters aside from the normal mtt is lowkey therapeutic 🧡🧡🧡 anyways i FINALLY FINALLY finished crash's lore!!!! and vice.SER is connected to him,,,, theyre interconnected!!! i forgot how much i liked crash's design (not the design but all the little gimmicks in the design. figuring out all the hanging ribbon bits is annoying but hey it looks good)
#outertale does not exist in swapinverse anymore. how quaint#dude thalia and melpomene are th only ones that r like. 100% good#I NEED TO MAKE MORE GOOD AND NICE CHARACTERS😭😭😭😭#mst..... recreators (qip name 4 siphon n crash?) and vice.SER........ theyre all EVIL (or have evil goals)#i WAS thinking doing something with reaper because i adore his design and aesthetic and i wanna combine it with SOMETHING idk what#anyways if core frisk error which is supposed to be vice.SER exists then should normal core frisk exist too?????#i mean i dont think that just because a core frisk role esque person exists doesnt mean the role is instantly filled up#the mst and mtt co exist in swapinverse but those 3 are like.... NORMAL aus. not outcodss n stuff#i love the giant lance thing i gave crash. i mean the ribbons can form any weapon and take any shape (kinda like puella magi mami's guns)#but like..... it just is so cool i love characters that use multiple weapons#i LOVE (haha) every single little gimmick thing i give swapinverse characters. the tiny details is what i adore giving them#if you catch me not posting 4 a bit its probably just bc im working on swapinverse or jk fashion au. or maybe ive seriously just lost motiva#anyways i have a few banger rants in my drafts ive yet to elaborate om but just like....... i dont feel like it#someon needs to wrangle those posts out of my tired lazy arms#lowkey why do siphon and crash remind me of kanade and mafuyu. idk i cant explain#if you cut vice.ser in half it would be like jelly with binary in it. i wanna eat him#he would tingle on my tongue but thats just the static. eating yhe glasses would be difficult bit they dont have lenses so its ok#i drew them both looking at us but i think that vice.ser is the only true one always looking at US.looking out from inside#god i love swapinverse sooo much i wish i could get it done faster and be goatedly good with motivation. a shame#but i do think that i may be finishing up the character descriptions 500% ish sure#SO THEN THAT MEANS I CAN WORK ON THE ACTUAL STORY!!!! WOOOOO#ive already decided that theres gonna be mentions of me myself and i in it. i love meta storytelling#im cursed with perpetually sweaty hands i hate having to draw on slighty damp paper. nobody understands me#UGH im getting too happy in life im starting to act weird in public and offering to help people. i need to stop#anyways just school doodles!!! because in the period where they take our phones i have naught to do but draw#i need to get back (start) my english reading. and then help my friend with a few questions on her homework. how joyous#and then i can get back to my BETTER homework (working on swapinverse :3)#crash managed to destroy outertale in his lore i wonder how many worlds vice.SER will destroy#actually if hes supposed to be core frisk error then i should make him NOT destroy worlds right???? right#tricule rant
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Milkvans on Twitter < 48 hrs ago: Byler stans HATE El, they just pretend they don’t. At least us milkvans are honest about hating Will.
New tumblr account < 2 hrs ago: El is useless and she should die. Also Will has powers.
#byler#me a willel twin truther: am i a joke to you?#honey#sweetheart#if you hate will then hate him#no need to project onto bylers to feel better about yourself 😭#we love el in these parts#get used to it#you aren’t gonna find anyone wishing death on el or anyone in the party here quite frankly#give it up#you ever think that hating Will vehemently is probably not the way the show was intended to be watched…?#and if you feel that way you’re probably watching it wrong?#same goes for el#theres a reason bylers don’t hate el to the degree milkvans hate will#you guys feel threatened over a ship…#ppl only get hostile and start harassing complete strangers when they are feeling insecure#unbothered ppl stay in their lanes and eat their food in peace#maybe go do the same instead of stressing yourself out by projecting hate with pettiness#im willing to bet the antibyler account and this new one are the same person..
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wish i didnt get my moms redhead genes only for my facial hair bc you just cannot see it at all especially in pictures 😭
#its a little more obvious in person but its just like.... why only my facial hair.....#i. used to have really light colored bodyhair before t n most of it got darker so i was like oh maybe i just need to give it some time.#WRONG. its been years this shits still strawberry blond. my curse#at least if i was ALSO a red head it would make sense but im not 😭😭😭
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made some updates to my rules regarding me giving out my discord to new followers and the last bit. please check it out if you could <3
#i'm sorry if IMs are a massive inconvenience i just find it awkward giving out my discord for initial interactions#only to find out that i dont like the person's vibe or we aren't compatible writing wise 😭#the last part especially gives me anxiety and i won't elaborate on it publicly (especially given the rpcs tendency to be all#“receipts or it didn't happen” but it needed to be said bc i had a massive bout of anxiety related to it)#anyway yeah im going to probs take tn off and maybe watch some more bsd and arcane#ily all#lovefeasted ▸ ooc.
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it would feel so nice to work towards a career that has meaningful impact and makes millions of people happy
#i follow this person cleo abrams on youtube and she's always talking so excitedly about scientists#and their amazing discoveries cool facts and she's so excited and starry eyed and hopeful#she genuinely just wants to educate people and has so much hope that we can make the world a better place#also like idk maybe unrelated but i saw the mv of new romantics and just. wow#say what you will about her but there's no doubt she's made an insane number of people happy SO HAPPY that they're crying#so many tours#idk i want#i wish my life was bigger#i feel so isolated and always just focusing on myself my career my health my enjoyment#what about everything everyone else#i keep trying to be completely okay with being alone i keep telling myself to not need anyone and be 100% independent#find happiness within hobbies interests#but it feels like a losing battle#i don't know i just. miss everyone 😭😭😭😭#but it hurts too much tbh always more sad than happy always more crying than laughing#i miss my bestfriend i don't know what i did wrong but she won't pick up my call she keeps saying she's busy#i don't want to be clingy because she hates that shit i don't want to drive her away but she's my only friend#i miss my fucking mom she doesn't care if i live or die obviously but i miss just having her presence in the house#and even tho my sister is here she's never fully present always on her laptop working#i wouldn't really say i miss my dad but wow it's been so long since mom and dad stayed together at home it was almost#always miserable but sometimes at the lunch table it was nice#i don't know everything and everyone is moving and changing so fast and i can't breathe under it and it's already september#but this entire year felt like a blur it's like everyone who left took a chunk of my heart with them#and i should be happy because im so close to the exam which will get me out of this house finally be financially independent#like i wanted since i was 11 i could finally start my life#but it all feels so. i don't know the whole future seems black like i can't imagine life past november 2025#how do you imagine happiness if you've never been happy?#and all these feelings are making it so hard to study and studying is so fucking important because if i don't ill be stuck here forever#and i don't want to go thru attempts fail and pass again atleast back then i had a reason first heartbreak‚ not getting to go to college#but what now why now i don't even understand i know objectively i do not have it that bad it's literally better even if i compare to my own
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anyways sry its not srs eventually ill get it together . and be a person again. one day
#its just like atm everything that i need is like . not possible. which is oartially my brain being like We have to do this before we this#which sometimes isnt true but sometimes is#like i cant get medicated again or back seeing a psych or back on t until i get a job again#but i cant get a job again utnil i get my ged <- partially untrue but ged would make it a lot easier#but i cant get my ged until i have a job bc it costs money <- if i asked my parents they would probably help me If they had money 2 spare#since like. yk. they want ne to be able to work again so i have money again and ill be another source of income and they care abt me also .#affirmations . ppl donot just see me as a piggy bank they do see me as a person im not judt someone to squeeze money out of thats not how#ppl view me and its fine its fine its fine its fine . it feels so stupid being scared abt that i feel like a rich person whos like She only#likes me for my money 😭 like stfuuu annoying ass. i just ummmm. have a massive fear of debt and like. ppl demanding money from me#unexpectedly or expecting i am going to give them money. not in like a Ohhh fucking ppl want me to donate not it at all im happy to donate#but in like. god this is dumb. eveeytime i got birthday or christmas money as a kid i had to give it to my parents so they could buy food or#gas or whatever. and it never got paid bsck and it felt like shit. but i couldnt ever say no bc then itd be My fault we didnt have food that#week . yk. my first paycheck i had to give it all to my mom for groceries and we got in a fight in the store bc she was like Ok im gonna go#buy pop and my dumbass got upset abt it bc like. my mom told me itd be Necessities nd like. yk. wtvr. it was fucking stupid my entire family#r caffeine addicts so pop is a necessity i was just. rly upset and it felt like my parents saw my money as just. theirs but they had to ask#abt it so i wouldnt get pissy. yk. and they ask me for money a lot usually for food and i dont mind but it like. idk im rly paranoid abt#being a provider and ive got a Lot of guilt abt like. anytime we dont have enough food it feels like my fault bc it was my fault when i wasa#kid if i didnt give up my christmas money for pizza. or whatever. idk its so dramatic like i didnt need the money i was 8 it was selfish of#me to wanna buy fucking. toys or whatever that wasnt more important than My parents being able to get to work or my siblings being able to#fucking. literally eat. or paying bills. like its selfish that im like wahhh wahhh but i wanted to buy vibeo game wif my bday money i#shouldve judt been fucking grateful i was able to help my family. wtvr. I hate connor. wtvr#n then the shit with ugh last year like. yk. and stuff. and then the them stealing 1000 from me not getting into it b4 i get mad. idk.#and im just lazy now i need to get a job again but all the shit like. as i was saying earlier b4 i started whining. idk. i should be happy#that i get to help w bills and stuff that was my dream as a kid#like ever since i was 5 when i was fantasizing abt my future i was like Im gonna marry a prince and then ill be able to afford to pay all of#my families bills and my parents and siblings will be able to go to college and be happy and maybe never have to work bc ill be able to#handle it and ive always like. yk. when i was a dumbass kid i was like Ill go to college so i can get a good job and be useful. of course i#cant ever go to college bc im fucking. useless. and itd just be another burden on my family if i was in debt bc i couldnt help them as much#if i had debt and itd be selfish. and it doesnt matter bc im too stupid to go to college anyway. idk. i wish i could just fix everything#it just feels awful rn im literally just a drain and my family doesnt say it to me yk like. ik theyre happy imback i think they are
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#personal#whats literally so funny was that as soon as i saw him walk in the room last year i knew he was gonna be trouble for me#however i never knew itd be this kind n this deep JDJDNDJJDNDJDNDNDN#we are like........ way closer than i ever anticipated. im terrified that we wont have anything to talk about once school ends#i wanna say so much to him but i... theres so much school stress i just.... i dont wanna add anything extra on top for myself or for him...#hhhhhh god lmao. this time last year i hadnt even spoken to him n now im like..... in this Thing that is maybe mutual but maybe isnt#god....... this shit is so hard NFJFJJFJFJFJF#i only see him like 3 more times in the near future......#then i gotta wait a bit.... but i dont want to 😭😭😭#i wanna see him every week.... at least... but its probably gonna be on a month basis even IF THAT....#god what if it all fizzles out............#hhhhhhhhhh#im gonna try to keep it going. im just..... idk. im scared#i hope he tries to keep it going too.....#its just hard.... when its 2 ppl that like.... only talk when they need to...... try to keep in touch JFJDJDJDJDKKDKDKDK#the most we go now is a full day without talking...... like either i'll message or he will#usually its me.... but... im more talkative i guess ... IDK#all ik is that i Know hes not talking to anyone else at school LMAO#one of my friends was like.... ya dont bother putting him in a group chat .. he never answere#while im over here like.... LOL he messages me back always within minutes/seconds#and if hes offline... as soon as hes back online.#JXJXKKXKXKXKZ GOD.#n e way. see him today............ looking forward to it but also nervous 😳#i'll be fine once i see him tho... its just the Anticipation#feel really comfortable around him LOL. never thought id say that#anyway
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debating cutting all my hair off again 😒...
#personal#it too sooooo longggg to grow out but now im like. its just kind of inconvenient?#it gets in my face all the time and i use so much shampoo/conditioner and it gets greasy way faster and its harder to style...#but like. at this point if i cut it all off i dont think im ever gonna grow it out again? so i gotta like make it last i guess#i really wanted to have long hair again but now im just remembering why i got rid of it in the first place 😭#maybe i just need a haircut or something idk. like layers or bangs or some crap#idk. im trying to balance out the desire for easier styling vs the inevitable regret i'll feel for cutting it 🙃#AND LIKE. it looks so cute! but only the day i shower after it dries. if i sleep it just looks terrible 😭#idk how to fix it without showering again 🥲 but the mohawk was so easy...#i wish real life was like a video game where u could style your hair long or short whenever u wanted 😭😭😭
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sorry idk i just think that if you complain abt your partner being the only person who cares about you but then block out every single one of your friends after you grow tired of them then maybe you have some self growth to do
#not to vague post but like. come on lmao#youre not a magnet for shitty ppl man maybe youre just a shitty person#and like admittedly i dont think this person was but come on if you dont have anyone consistent in your life bc YOU shut all of them out#youre doing something wrong. sorry.#ok thats my only ventpost this month. i feel like i have a right to pettiness for not vagueposting three months ago#the overdue asteroid strikes again#i hope the person this is abt sees this lmao <3 i also hope youre doing better and youve gotten over yourself#frankly i didnt need to see anime characters nor your petty complaints over how bad your life is but i did! i put up it with it bc i though#we were friends! but at the same time if you want ppl to care about you youre sure as fuck making it hard to 😭😭 hows anyone gonna care abt#you if you block them once youre tired of them or if they do one thing that offends you#if youre looking for perfect friends then like dont. the point of having friends is loving them. despite despite despite.#hypocritical as fuck lmfao. i thought huh maybe i should block you after you told me you were so jealous of me you couldnt read my writing#you make it so fucking hard for anyone to care about you and im sure you know that bc its all you post about#well. i cared about you. youre fucking awful and i shouldnt have though
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