#maybe ill just create another version some other time

[polaroidcats]

Sirius Black wereanimals multiverse/animagus fancasts

here you go, these are my fave Sirius Black fancasts, @plecotusauritus. Credit for "toujours puddles" goes to @hollyivydruzy, I stole that, as well as the duck and the goat from a conversation about marauders as herd animals we had a few weeks ago. toujours puddles has lived on in my brain ever since then lol!

This post is the sequel to the Remus Lupin wereanimal moodboard

[harmonysanreads]

SUMERU LOVE HEXAGON THOUGHT: what If the boys found the reader singing? How would they react when they hear readers angelic voice??

As you might've already predicted, Wanderer has had that privilege more than anyone due to proximity. In the early days of you taking him under your care, you hummed and lulled him back to sleep after another night of nightmares. Your approach surprised him significantly, as his own creator had been perplexed by a puppet displaying emotions. But not that he minded, in fact, it'd only made him cling harder. He knows you have a habit of singing while cooking or any time you daydream. His favorite are the Inazuman tunes you learned through your travels, the sentiments they bring him now are admittedly angst ; but when through your voice, it's somewhat peaceful... nostalgic he daresay.

You'd thought Alhaitham wasn't listening because of his headphones and the accompanying book, the tavern was empty for once and the day had been nice. You'd almost pranced around singing to your heart's content that night and the Scribe had never listened more attentively in his life. Under the pretense of your own assumption, Alhaitham has heard you sing more than once. He thought about mentioning it one time as well, but refrained when he noticed why you sang. Alhaitham knows how to appreciate good music and he has no problem doing so silently. Yes, it's just well-natured appreciation even if he keeps a recorded version as supplement for the live.

There was once a time where Collei fell ill and you offered to take care of her while Tighnari attended to an emergency in the Avidya Forest. When he returned, he found Collei peacefully asleep with you by her side, humming a foreign tune. His original intention was to watch from the corner, but his sensitive ears and tail quickly gave him away. It seemed that he was more embarrassed at the prospect of getting caught eavesdropping, after all, he wouldn't want you to think of him as some sort of a weirdo. But thankfully, you didn't linger on the topic. He almost wanted to thank Collei for creating that opportunity but for that instance, he'd settled for complimenting your voice. One day, maybe one day, he'll gather the courage to ask you to sing for him.

The times a warrior truly feels at peace are few and far between, especially for one as uncompromising as Cyno. There are only a handful of things the General Mahamatra indulges in, your presence settling itself on that list day by day. While Cyno is relatively nonchalant towards the arts, even he can tell when something is truly remarkable. And when such an occurrence presents itself, he finds no reason to not let his appreciation be known. His blunt ‘you should sing more’ appeared to have flustered you to a degree he hadn't expected though. He remains firm in his stance, not understanding why you quickly fled the scene. As much as he doesn't get the reasoning behind your behavior, this chain of events only make him vow to himself that you'd never stop singing.

With each passing day, Kaveh wonders if you could be any less perfect. Just when he thinks he's seen it all or has gotten a grasp of the enigma that is you, you just throw the most delightful surprises his way. Kaveh knows of and appreciates your appreciation of the arts. But even the simplest practices seem to be amplified in their charm when done by you, cliché, but he couldn't care less. When intoxication occurs to the Architect, he usually feels more confident. But before you, even wine loses its lustre. With each new discovery, half of Kaveh falls even further and the other half curls in itself from insecurity. He doesn't deserve you, the Architect tells himself. Yet he cannot bring himself to let go, or stay away as your voice rings through his ears. You're perfect, to Kaveh at the very least but he couldn't help but dream how much more perfect it'd be if you sang only for him.

[ au masterlist ]

[basil-does-arttt]

Devil May Cry 2. The pimple-faced teenager of the series, widely regarded as the worst game in the franchise.

While yes i agree with this viewpoint to some degree, and i think all the jokes about it being the worst one are funny... i honestly dont think the game is THAT bad. In fact, i think people give it too much shit.

Ill start out by saying this: no, the game isnt amazing. Its under-developed, rushed, and in no way is it up to the same standard as the other 4 games. Im not saying its this perfect game, but its not as horrible as some make it out to be.

Ive played through the game on the original PS2 version and the remastered version, and although im yet to complete Lucia's campaign, i can confidently say the game is mediocre at worst really.

First the gameplay: Boring? Yes. Definitely. Do you like standing in one place and shooting everything for 15 minutes untill it drops dead? This is the game for you. But you dont have to do that, it just happens to be the easiest option because the controls are so jank. I spent (some) time myself learning the combos, turns out it depends on the way you angle the joystick, and once you get the hang of it, its not that difficult to S rank combat encounters at all. Its annoying, but not impossible, and the combos can honestly look pretty cool imo.

The movement is also another thing, the dodge animation takes way too long to perform but i do like the forward dash. Its a nice alternative to using stinger as a makeshift movement dash, i wish they kept it for furture versions of Dante. (Yes i know theres the trickster dash, but he doesn't do a flip)

I also really love the flying mechanic with aerial heart, and the different kinds of core thingies you could combine as a whole. A unique feature that kinda got combined into other things in Dante's design.

A few of the bosses, if they had been fleshed out and maybe balanced a bit better, could've been just amazing too. Furiataurus for example. One boss i feel was done well though was The Despair Embodied, and although you can just stand around and shoot it to death like everything else, you do actually have to put effort in to not get hit and die. (Trismalga is also kinda in that boat too, a well(ish) done fight you actually have to put effort into, but i personally didn't like it.)

Next, level design: You have to admit they did some cool things with the level design. *some*. The whole "grungy city" vibe is something i found very interesting, and the trippy purple iteration of lower town was, while infuriating to navigate thanks to the camera and graphics (esp on the ps2 version), was actually quite neat. I also really liked the clock tower in Lucia's campaign.

And also, the music. Can i just say, i think dmc 2's soundtrack is my favorite one out of all 5 games. The ambient background tracks are almost dreamy, especially Lucia's ones, the boss themes honestly go hard and the piano track that's repeated throughout the whole soundtrack just sounds good. If you take anything away from this post, its that you should listen to the soundtrack. (I reccomend the tracks "Unholy Relics", "Cry for the Moon", and "Shoot the Works")

The character designs are another thing i think they did well in this game. In my humble opinion, Dante's dmc 2 style is the best looking one in the whole series. Lucia also looks quite cool, her devil trigger form especially.

The characters themselves, Dante especially, need work, but might i remind you the developers were rushed when making this game. They didn't have enough time to do everything they wanted to do, 6 months before the game was supposed to release they didn't even have it in working condition. It was only thanks to Itsuno stepping in as the director that we got this game in the first place, and all he could do was salvage what the team had already created and get it in a releasable state before launch.

If only they had a bit more time (and maybe resources), dmc 2 couldve been quite the cool game. Though, on that note, if it werent for dmc 2's catastrophic faliure and Itsuno's prompt pestering for a sequel so the franchise didn't die outright, we wouldn't have gotten dmc 3. Though i think Capcom would've made a 3rd game regardless of the scenario.

All in all, i dont think dmc 2 is that horrible of a game. If you have the remaster collection, or even the original PS2 version, at least try it. Give it a go, play through the first few missions and kill one or two of the bosses.

Don't take it seriously, just have fun and enjoy the game in all its janky half-finished glory. If you look at dmc 2 that way, i think you'll enjoy it a whole lot more.

Or dont. Yknow, its your choice.

[ihaveforgortoomany]

Initial 2.2 reaction here, more detailed and focused analysis will be later

Spoilers for 1.9 ofc ofc here:

HOLY SHIT.

First off, wdym Mr Duncan is actually Mr Karson? In some shape or form like Paulina from 2.0 where the Paulina Joe saw to the picture was different? Woahhh.

Anjo Nala wow enjoyed her story here, so happy she is now free. Btw OH MY GOD Vertin in that cg where she looks like shes shooting Anjo just like Schnieder oh god.

White Rum was so much fun, her whole concept was so cool I hope we see more of her.

Urd confirmed to be the Friend From Afar? Relations to the White Marble Doves/ higher ups of the Foundation? Igor and Urd know each other? Dammit I knew we were not getting Vertin and Urd interacting this time.

Lopera and Moldir? Alright I will be so honest but yeah their story was mid, I think 2.2 is suffering the same problem as the earlier Books with juggling multiple characters and storylines that Lopera felt weak to me so far, I mean I feel bad espeically at the end but so far her character felt the weakest here, Ill see if GN will change my mind.

Its clear the current patches out have been used to setup the 2.0 story lore wise, so in terms of being emotional hitters like 1.7 Im not mad they dont hit as hard as 1.7 or 1.9 but I hope it is building to something later down the line.

So Antarctica is next I think? Thats pretty cool, heh penguins.

Alright.

OH FUCK ITS CONFIRMED PEOPLE DO NOT DIE WHEN THEY GET REVERSED.

It seems the person is altered in a sense? So for example Mr Duncan is likely Mr Karson had history been different, so Mr Duncan is the result of an altered timeline, we are meeting a future Mr Karson BUT in an altered timeline Im assuming. (It is likely he did know Sotheby's parents maybe?)

We see similar with Mr Karl's child, its clear from Heinrich the child was either a boy or girl but this was altered after the Storm.

So far we cannot say anything about people meeitng their past selves (like Kakania for example meeting herself in 1908 or something, we dont know what would happen if anything)

More importantly.

WE COULD MEET SCHNIEDER AGAIN. Or at the very least meet a version of herself in an altered version, potentially if we went to Italy or something.

This could go for anyone we know reversed now, even The Ring and Issabella. This is huge.

The Manus under Sophia specficially seem to aim to create Storms now, instead of just accelerating an existing one.

But it is wild now its confirmed that people do not necessarily die in the Storm, instead another version is created who retains similar history to the original but altered enough to see a difference (I smell the Mandela Effect)

[yuri-is-online]

Same anon bc I'm having a lot of thoughts and didn't want to mix up the contents but another random thought I had was when I saw the cat versions of the characters - somehow it stood out to me that Zenji and Jiro have pretty much the exact same shade of hair AND eyes. They both generally look so different from each other I never thought about it before but seeing the simplified forms of the cats made it stand out. Also the fact there's rumors that Jiro is some kind of Frankenstein born in Mortenkranken (and hence why he doesn't know about normal work hours lol he only knows Yuri's work ethic) and why he randomly gets sick all the time. Crack theory that Zenji might've been in Mortenkranken and was involved in "creating" Jiro somehow, bc maybe he's actually skilled in science and not the arts bc I remember reading somewhere Haku saying why Zenji can't focus on things he's *actually* talented at, and apparently no one really likes his poetry lol. Ironically enough Zenji has paler skin than Jiro though lol.

Anyways it's really a random theory and we'll learn more about Zenji in Hotarubi (probably) but I like thinking of stuff like this, sorry to keep bombarding you with all these random tdb thoughts 😭😭

If my askbox is open you can bombard me with thoughts. I'm just bad about answering them I am so sorry-

Zenji being involved in Jiro's creation isn't something I would have come up with but is a neat idea! As is him being a naturally talented scientist who would rather write shitty poems (it's ok pookie MC likes your poems). I was wondering if Jiro was a monster born in Mortenkranken? It would make sense but he also gives me the vibes of someone who might have been terminally ill as a child and wished to be healthy. He says his condition and MC's are similar so maybe his disease is related to a curse and he's only barely holding onto life with Yuri's help.

The similarity of their appearances is an interesting point! I really hope we learn what's up with Zenji in the next chapter, I think he's super neat.

[alphaketoglutaricacid]

man im glad kabru put his sword down n acknowledged hes no good w monsters. He hurt himself so much trying to be a person hes not… dying over n over again… becoming so good at killing people in the service of that goal n it gets him no closer to it… and i dont think dungeon life is actually what he wants either… he had such a miserable time but i feel the people he met…was the journey. Maybe. I think theres something moving about him venturing out n meeting ppl from all walks of life.

And a life of many more…and i may be about to do a horrific misreading but i always thought part of the reason kabru got namari n toshiro to go w him instead of his own party was trying to keep em outta harms way esp rin. But in turn he cut himself off of his closest connections while interacting w ppl who bring up really bitter memories for him. Man kabru n rins relationship… they dont love each other in the same way but u can tell theyre always thinking of each other. Like interacting w the canaries is hard for him. But also on another level he may have taken them bc they do in fact live up to his idealized version of ppl who can effortlessly slay monsters n its something he knows he lacks. But idk if being good at slayin monsters particularly helped in the end of that situation tho it was good to have a few ppl good at it on retainer. Kinda bummed they cut out of a lot of kabrus interactions w namari and shuro bc i do find them interesting in the short moments they interact. Thats the b team (w mithrun acting as the antag of it so he flits in and out)

Like kabru has a moment of vulnerability in telling his own story to them honestly. It was hard for him. And if they cut out namaris genuine moment of unconditional kindness when she reaches out for kabru while everyones trampling over each other and hes having a ptsd moment ill be at their doors. I think it was a pretty vital moment in reminding him why he feels so strongly abt autonomy. I feel kabru very rarely gets acknowledged for his kindness often no string attached. N ppl are much quicker to note hes manipulative n a charmer but i think some of these moments he just likes listening to ppl some of whom have never been listened to in their lives…. Its sad how much kabrus willing to accommodate others n give em grace n yet he wont give it to himself : ( But also that those two were genuinely moved by his moment of vulnerability and even tho theyre mainly there for their frat bro allegiance towards laios where theyre like idc if he did that #freemyman, i do think what pushed them over the threshold is thinking about what he said about the elves trampling everyone and how they trampled over this delicate infrastructure ppl built for their livelihood . I like to think their lil turn everyone against the canaries was them pouring one out for him. Carry his dream on a little bit longer bc they dunno if he survived. I found it like aw. That all his like kabrus been trying to carry a mountain on his back, trying so hard to be a manipulative charming person to that end, but he can move ppl just as he is. By being open n vulnerable .

the last survivor of utaya… but is just surviving enough? Think its good he makes a new home in melani so that he can move onto the next part of his life while keeping every place hes ever been close. A dungeon that wiped out all life. A dungeon that created a new one

[k9catastrophe]

Even MORE games for alterhumans!! Just like the last one, these are all games where you play as an animal, but this time they aren't all super realistic!! A few of these cost money, indicated by a "$" next to the title, but all of them are free on the last list!!

Animal jam [Play Wild!]: Starting off this list with another BANGER as of today, AJPW updates monthly, with a new animal, pet, and den in every update! AJPW released in 2015, 5 years after the classic version! The game is super active and likely always will be, and there's no singleplayer option, but there's no requirement to interact with others to play.

Playable Animals: [every update animal leaves shop with the next update, so im only listing the ones that do NOT rotate.] Choose between Monkey, Bunny, Wolf, Fox, Tiger, or Panda as your first animal, and buy the Arctic Wolf, Horse, Lion, Lemur, Snow Leopard, Arabian Horse, and Eagle later on with your sapphires!

Customizability: you can customize every animal's fur colour, special pattern, eyes, and accessories to your liking!! The wide range of accessories lets every player have their own unique look!!

Rating: I give it a 10/10! I've played AJPW since 2018 and i dont think ill ever quit..

Dungeon Dogs: Dungeon Dogs is an idle rpg released in 2020 by Pocapp Studios, with tons of dogs to collect and battle with!! It's entirely singleplayer, and im not quite sure how often it updates 😓

Playable Animals: Dogs!

Customizability: With accessories, coats, and pets you unlock upon leveling up, you can customize your dog to look however you'd like!

Rating: 10/10, i like the events and silly main story, and it's fun watching my little team of dogs beat up bears and leopards.

Castle Cats: Another singleplayer idle rpg released in 2017 by the creators of Dungeon Dogs!! Again unsure of how often it updates 😓

Playable Animals: Just cats!!

Customizability: Just like Dungeon Dogs, you can entirely customize your cat's fur, accessories, and pets upon leveling up!

Rating: 9/10, It's still silly and fun, I just prefer the art on Dungeon Dogs more 💔💔

$ - Shelter 2: Take care of your four cubs as you fight to survive the wilds. Hunt for them, defend them from predators, and watch them grow up. Released in 2015 by Might and Delight, it's a VERY pretty game <3

Playable Animals: Lynx!!

Customizability: You cannot customize any of the Lynx beyond their names!!

Rating: 10/10! This game is so pretty!! i love the exploration, and the ending is always my favorite part of it!!

$ - Paws - A Shelter 2 Game: Play as a lynx cub on a quest to get back to your family after getting separated.

Playable Animals: Lynx cub!!

Customizability: You cannot customize them!!

Rating: 10/10!!! The entire game feels like a storybook, it's so cute <3

$ - Cattails: Released by Falcon Development in 2017, Cattails lets you become a pixel cat, join a clan, raise a family, maybe even create your own clan!! Hunt, gather, participate in seasonal events, decorate your den, just be a cat!!

Playable Animals: Cat!

Customizability: You can customize your eyes and your coat whenever you'd like!! You can buy some coats from shops, unlock coats from quests and redeem LOTS of coats with LOTS of codes!! My favorite is the Winter Snowday !! [Check out this coat colour guide too!!]

Rating: 10/10!! I love the style, and causing chaos with my devsprint is super fun !!

$ - WolfQuest [Anniversary Edition]: Released in 2019 by Eduweb, Wolfquest 3 is a pretty realistic wolf game !!!! This version is a lot nicer than the original, and the creators still update it! It even has a multiplayer option!! The main goal is to raise and protect your pups, but you can do whatever you want!!

Playable Animals: Wolf!

Rating: 10/10!! SUCH a pretty game !! I have a black wolf who is like 8 [ingame] years old..

[sancta-seraphina]

Can yo u talk about some of the changes please? Just curious! but only if their not too spoilery

Hi anon,

I want to start this by saying I really did love the old 2019 version of Holiest. I think it's better now, but I loved that original version.

Actually, the longevity of the project is something a lot of people might not know about, so I wouldn't mind commenting on that, but after I answer the question.

About the chapters themselves:

One of the immediate changes for previous readers is that the entirety of the first chapter has been rewritten. It is much longer.

Chapters 2 through 5 have been reworked to accommodate for the removal of some characters (a separate topic).

Chapters 6, 7, and 8... I decided I didn't like, so those have been rewritten too. The content itself stayed the same. I just didn't like the writing, I felt it no longer reflected my writing style. I kept some things where I could suffer them, though. They also have some sparkly new scenes, which I will talk about below.

Chapter 9 is currently planned to be the same, however, I may just decide that I hate it. In which case, it will suffer the same fate as 6, 7, and 8 (same content, just rewritten).

As mentioned, a huge change was the removal of some of the characters who were, in my opinion, complicating and distracting from the story. This also included reducing the number of POVs (some scenes were simply rewritten to be from a different POV). Currently we have Lucifer as the main POV of the story for obvious reasons, with other scenes from the POV of Beelzebub, Jehoel, and newly, Metatron. The only thing that upsets me about this is that those characters who were removed were female, and my cast does not satisfy me in terms of having a lot of female characters.

Metatron is another significant change. Previously, he was only in three (3) scenes in the entire story, because I didn't actually need him until the last chapters despite him being so important (unlike The Harrowing, where he has a prominent role, Lord save us). But Metatron became really popular on my instagram, so I decided to work in more scenes with him and also to write from his POV [which you can get a preview of in today's excerpt].

The plot? Is the same. The worldbuilding? Also the same.

The map? I'm ignoring it (by which I mean procrastinating), BUT I've also made additional maps for the novel that can be previewed on my [patreon]. The illustrations? Uh, are not going to be the same and I'm kicking myself for it.

The method of publication? Totally different, it's no longer free—it's going to be a physical book now.

Anyways I hope that answered your question without spoiling too much.

The other thing that I wanted to discuss is the longevity of the project.

Although I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself right now to get the novel back out there, Holiest is nothing new, both to my long-term followers (hello to anyone who knew me in grad school or earlier, and also to all those who re-followed me upon changing blogs), and also to my life in general. It didn't have a name until 2016 or 2017 (I forget which), but my main character, yes I'm talking about Lucifer, literally dates back to 2007 and I still have my first drawing of him with that timestamp. Maybe I'll be brave enough to share it one day.

And the story has always had the same themes, even from its beginning days in '07, '08, and '09: with a heavy emphasis on mental illness/psychosis (of the devil in particular), angels in Hell, and Revelation-inspired visions/hallucinations.

As mentioned, the novel itself was completed in 2018 (I did not write during college/grad school due to lack of time, and I graduated in 2015. I do have endless artworks of the characters from throughout my time in college) and I began publishing in August of 2019. Also my patreon itself dates back to 2017.

But I like to take my time when creating, don't outsource my illustrations to others (please understand how much time art takes), and I am a company dancer in a ballet. So yes, it has been over five years now since first putting it online.

Anyways, although it's been updated, it is not changing in terms of what it is, it has been here for a VERY long time (which others can attest to), and it is also NOT going away.

[badsalmonella]

HEY HEY HEY *SLAPS YOUR FACE* WAKE UP!!! I JUST MADE THE MOST INSANE STRING OF DISCOVERIES

-Setting the scene: I can't sleep. I'm rolling around in bed. I'm thinking about Camelot. The musical. As one does. Guys we ALL do this c'mon.

-Man the love triangle dynamics changing from version to version is interestinggg.

-Man the way the show sometimes has some interesting things to say about sexuality but also sometimes wants Nothing to do with sexuality while also having it written in the text is interestinggggg.... I wonder if anyone way smarter than me has ever written a deep dive essay about THAT.

-I'M NOT GETTING ANY SLEEP TONIGHT! TO GOOGLE!

-there actually is something written up about the movie but I think the full thing is behind a paywall siiiigh

-Oh what's this? A very interestingly titled BroadwayWorld forum title about scandalous nudity??? In Camelot????

- Strap in. Go pee before I start the car. This is INSANE.

-So what I stumble upon is a theater company in Massachusetts DEEPLY embroiled in the drama of advising people that their Camelot is GONNA HAVE NUDITY. Drama from 2005 (?) trapped in the amber that is the wonderful world of the internet

- The theater goers of Massachusetts are GOOPED.

- Some of them are also stupid lots of "well if you're adding nudity maybe I'LL ACTUALLY STAY AWAKE TO WATCH CAMELOT😂😂😂😂"

-also "Listen. There has never been sex EVER in Camelot" which ????????

- Like everyone is going in like "WHERE COULD YOU POSSSSSIBLIY PUT NUDITY???" bestie...you can't come up with one educated guess where they might slide that in? "NIMUE??? WILL NIMUE BE TITS OUT?????" "Will Morgan Le Fay be NAKED??? because she lives alONE IN THE FOREST???" y'all.

- Like so so sooo many entries in before someone eNTERTAINS the thought that it could be for a Lance Genny hook up.

-I don't know if this person was referencing another production or THIS MASSACHUSETTS PRODUCTION? They made it unclear. But they mention a staging of Fie on Goodness....where Mordred riles up the knights so much....they take off their shirts????? H eLLO????? ❓❓❓

-A NEW THREAD IS ADDED TO BROADWAYWORLD FORUMS

- A NEW CHALLENGER ENTERS THE RING

-Bro. A full blown RANT from the THEATER COMPANY THEMSELVES

-SO MUCH TO UNPACK HERE.

-What is Talking Broadway and why are you BANNED bestie??? WHAT IS THE TEA WITH THE ADMIN???

- ALSO AND THIS IS THE BIG ONE WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE NUDITY IS IMPLEMENTED VIA A TOPLESS BALLET DANCING UNICORN?????

-WHERE??? WHEN??? HELLO????

-CAMELOT YOU ARE ALREADY AT 3 HOURS NOW WHEN DO YOU HAVE TIME FOR A TITS OUT BALLET????

- it's 4 am. I flex my googling fingers. I'm getting to the bottom of this. I am NOTHING if not MENTALLY ILL ABOUT CAMELOT THE BROADWAY MUSICAL BY LERNER AND LOWE. And by GOD I will document it with GREAT DETAIL for you ALL!

- First of all no I did not find any evidence of what THIS SPECIFIC 2005 BALLET LOOKED LIKE

- But I did figure out where there was a ballet!

- Listen so there are two old men in the forums arguing about how on the OG OG OLD OLD OLD SCHOOL RECORDS FOR CAMELOT??? I guess you can catch some of the cut songs/versions of songs?

-One man insists a number known as "The Persuasion" or "Enchanted Forest Ballet" is on this record

-Other man flexes that he just got OUT his old album and it is not there.

-but either way I have my lead.

-So for those of you not SO DEEP IN THE CAMELOT SAUCE YOU CAN NO LONGER SEE THE SUN This is referring to an OLLDDDD version of the show where Mordred wants to fuck with King Arthur and keep him out of the castle so Lancelot and Genny can get caught treason hugging so what he does is he goes to the forest, finds Morgan Le Fay, convinces her to create a magic forcefield around Arthur while he's out and about so he can't move and he DOES THIS by bribing her with chocolate which works because you see Morgan Le Fay in this version lives in a home made of food BUT NO SWEETS so she can be bribed with chocol----

-yEah so that got written out of the show fast. And for good reason. But here it is if you are curious. I think this is where the unicorn boobies would be featured (yes. Remember this is about nude Camelot in Massachusetts DO NOT LOSE SIGHT OF THE PLOT HERE PEOPLE) also detail for those of you who have seen the bootleg too many times the revival repurposes this tune in the score for Morgan's entrance. NEAT!

-Okay also??? Random detail? Merlin was played by a child because Merlin ages backwards and at the end of the show that child plays Tom of Warwick. Neat

-Have you made it this far??? Are you still here???? I GOT ONE MORE THRILLING TURN FOR YOU ALL GUESS WHO WAS IN THE ENSEMBLE FOR THIS PRODUCTION OF GRITTY NUDITY CAMELOT IN MASSACHUSETTS

-JOSH CHAN!!! FROM CRAZY EX GIRLFRIEND!!!!

-Okay now you have made it to the end. I'm gonna need S O much coffee for work today.

🧍🏻‍♀️

[twistedtummies2]

Top 12 Portrayals of Jacob Marley

The last two characters I’ve covered in this little marathon were the two most important human characters Scrooge encounters in “A Christmas Carol.” Of course, not all of the major characters can exactly qualify as “human” any longer. Enter Jacob Marley: Scrooge’s former friend and business partner, and the first of the phantoms he encounters in the story. While Fred and Bob Cratchit stand as opposing foils to Scrooge, Marley is something different: just like the words he utters, he, himself, acts as a warning to Ebenezer of what his ill behavior could lead to. Through Marley (and the other Tormented Spirits Scrooge sees), not only does Dickens create arguably the scariest and most unsettling scene in the original book, but he also conjures up a karmic punishment so ingenious, Lucifer himself should really take notes! Here we have a man who is forever doomed to wander around, forced to see hardship and suffering and realize he is truly no different from any other human soul. He can do nothing to help, only reflect on his mistakes, his guilt, and his inability to make amends and atone for his crimes, however direct or indirect they might have been. The only “comfort” he has are the very material objects he hoarded in his lifetime, lashed about him to ironically provide even more agony, with every link of the chains that strap them to his form acting as a reminder of a sin he can no longer redeem himself for. As harrowing as Marley’s scene is, there’s also a good deal of humor to it, given the very surreality of the whole scenario and Scrooge’s snappish personality. There’s also a hint of something deeper and sadder under it; in the book, at least, it’s revealed that Marley himself is the one who arranges the whole debacle and manages to get this whole story to get underway, and he does it because he wants to give his friend a sporting chance to escape. It’s not clear if Marley, himself, will get anything out of this, but he tries his best to help Ebenezer, which shows a great change in his character, and helps to sell the message of the story: it’s really never too late to change. It CAN, however, be too late to do anything about it if you don’t shape up in time. Redemption and forgiveness are two sides of the same coin, and Marley is a prime example of that: he sees the error of his ways, but it no longer matters. That is the tragedy of the whole situation. This is yet another character I’ve played, and I’d love the chance to do so again. (Annoying as the costume requirements may be.) With so many versions of the Carol, Marley has been played a lot of different ways: some make him more frightening, others more human, and some even make him a more comical figure. All of them are fairly solid and viable options, if handled right. With that said, here are My Top 12 Favorite Portrayals of Jacob Marley!

12. Mr. Slate, from A Flintstones Christmas Carol. (Here the character is referred to as "Jacob Marbley." Because rock puns. :P )

11. Goofy, from Mickey’s Christmas Carol. (He ranks low only because it’s so weird imagining Goofy “robbing from widows and swindling the poor.” Like…something there doesn’t sound right. Unless this is Jack Kinney’s Goofy, maybe. :P )

10. Basil Rathbone, from Shower of Stars: A Christmas Carol.

9. Ed Asner, from A Christmas Carol (1997).

8. Statler & Waldorf, from The Muppet Christmas Carol. (Here they make up the duo "Jacob and Robert Marley.")

7. Jason Alexander, from A Christmas Carol: The Musical (2004). (A lot of people seem to dislike this take on Marley, but I personally love it.)

6. Everett Sloane, from the Campbell Playhouse Radio Production (1939). (For these entries, I'm not including images of the cast in a Carol costume, because...well...they're from a RADIO production. Just wanna make that clear. XD)

5. Frank Finlay, from A Christmas Carol (1984).

4. Royal Dano, from Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol.

3. Alec Guinness, from Scrooge (1970). (“Use the Force, Scrooge!”)

2. Bernard Lloyd, from A Christmas Carol (1999).

1. Sir Michael Hordern, from Scrooge (1951) AND A Christmas Carol (1971).

[des-thefox]

might as well use my blog to be productive so

a silly nier theory(?) (more just me yapping) (mostly replicant focused)

ALSO THIS CONTAINS MAAAJOORRRRR SPOILERS FOR NIER REPLICANT AND AUTOMATA AND DRAKENGARD 1 PROBABLY DRAKENGARD 3!!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!

thinking about the never ending cycle of life and death.

not just how 2B had to kill 9S over and over and over again FOURTY EIGHT TIMES.

but with the scope of the entire world.

the nier and drakengard universes are doomed to repeat themselves OVER. and OVER. and OVER again.

every single time, a strange structure named cathedral city appears out of nowhere, dragons begin to roam the lands, creatures unlike the world has ever seen before.

every single time caim while fighting the watcher ends up transported into a different world, japan 2003, as he, the watcher, and the red dragon all die.

every single time the maso inside of the foreign entities begin to spread a disease known as white chlorination syndrome.

every single time replicant nier will embark on a journey to save yonah, whether she is his sister or his daughter

every single time humanity will all die out, leaving androids to roam the planet

every single time aliens will invade and create machines with one purpose, "destroy the enemy"

every single time every android will fall, YoRHa will be destroyed.

every single time, the machine lifeforms with their fascination with human life will attempt to recreate cathedral city, maso, and dragons, and end up sending it back into the drakengard universe as it all begins again

with this all put into perspective, ive been thinking about the differences with every "loop"

we all know that replicant and gestalt are both canon, just different loops. but what else could there be?

the other night i was reading an interview with the main minds behind nier, in which its stated that originally there would be a scene depicting nier (brother) and yonah getting into an arguement that ends with nier shouting that he wishes she wasnt around so he wouldnt have to deal with her illnesses.

while it was cut from the final version, what if in one loop it actually happened?

what if in one loop, a young nier, bitter and angered by the death of his parents, felt like it was a burden to take care of his sister?

he doesnt want to lose her, but hes given up so MUCH for her that its beginning to eat away at his subconscious

and one day he lashes out, wishing to never see her again with some semblance of hope that maybe if she was dead he would be able to live for himself

of course, hed feel bad afterwards. hes still the same nier, caring, selfless, ignorant. hed apologize, remembering that yonah really is all he has left, and he doesnt wanna be alone.

everything would continue as normal, until yet another loop occurs

what if in one loop, upon entering shadowlords castle, learning the truth about project gestalt and project replicant, nier actually STOPS TO THINK(😭)

he realizes that what hes doing will cause the end of humanity, but he presses on anyways. its too far to back out now.

he sees yonah, gestalt yonah in his own sisters body. he sees how happy she is to see her brother, the shadowlord, gestalt nier, himself.

that doesnt matter, thats HIS sister.

he fights the shadowlord, knocks him down, but right as he is about to execute him, cut his head clean off of his shoulders, he stops.

in his moment of hesitation, he decides to spare him. leave him alive.

nier knows what its like to care about your sister, to sacrifice anything to see her live another day. he knows what its like to lose his father, and his mother not soon after. he knows what its like to have to provide for two people being only a teenager. he knows of the suffering the shadowlord had to go through, waiting a thousand years just for his sister.

so he spares him. he saved yonah, after all. he doesnt need to kill the shadowlord, too.

what if project gestalt doesnt fail due to one vengeful brother?

humanity is saved, all gestalts are placed in their respective replicant bodies. the human race lives on.

YoRHa is never created, the devola and popola androids are no longer necessary.

but the cycle continues anyways.

the aliens will still invade, the machine lifeforms will fight against humanity, fight against thousands upon thousands of emil clones.

the machine lifeforms, with their fascination of humanity, will rebuild cathedral city, recreate maso, and dragons, and send it back to the past.

and it all repeats again.

"we are perpetually trapped in a never ending cycle of life and death."

and no matter what changes, it all ends the same.

[mekatrio]

a very curious part of itsv to me is this part bc truly what is happening... how is miles hearing the voices of characters who will appear much later in the movie?

i understand that this is his first activation of spidey-sense and spidey-sense is Kinda? clairvoyance in the way that it alerts someone of oncoming dangers. except its not really clairvoyance since its more heightened sensory perception paralleling a spider's (a spider's range of view is larger than a human's and all that) so like... what is all this abt?

some of the voices heard here will be played out immediately after this scene ("you're like me" "but i don't wanna be" between peter and miles), while some are from way later (gwen's and peni's "you're like me"). one is even from the past ("why is this happening to me!" happens when miles' spider power are causing him problems in school a few scenes ago). when i have time.. ill probably track down where each of these lines came from. but off the top of my head i cant recall a time when someone tells miles to look out.. and according to itsv's screenplay that doesnt happen either.. so 🤨🧐

i got three main ideas abt this scene. at first, i thought it was just a story mechanic. after all, in the opening of atsv, we can see quick flashes of events that will play out in atsv during gwen's opening intro. so i thought it was just that. except... that at the end of atsv, gwen's narration from the beginning of the movie is continued (and subsequently concluded). meaning, that the opening intro we saw of gwen is not coming from this pre-atsv events gwen that we're seeing, but rather a post-atsv events gwen who is reflecting on the events of the movie, imposed over an earlier version of her. and this isnt whats happening in this itsv scene. there is no imposing narration in itsv that takes place from another point in time. when the various spider-people of itsv narrate their backgrounds ("alright, let's do this one last time") it's always happening in the moment, while the movie is playing out. so this moment has to be more than a story mechanic.. miles is very much hearing voices from the future.

other ideas and speculation under a read more bc this got long heehee

so idea 2: maybe it's spider-sense mixing with the proximity to the collider that allows miles to hear dialogue from another point in time. after all, this collider is capable of messing with time's linearity. when gwen was thrown into miles' universe, she was thrown in a week further back than everyone else. we also know that this collider was turned on and tested before the events of this movie (when a friend of miles' from the beginning of the movie mention 'the earthquake last night'). so that might be it.

(but also hey now that i think of it... didnt the events of this movie kinda create a stable time loop? gwen only enters earth-1610 after 1610's peter parker is put into the particle collider. but this happens After we see gwen (who is from another universe) hanging out in earth-1610. so gwen is kinda in a stable timeloop or something..?!)

but anyways idea 3.. which is kinda an expansion of idea 2: is this possibly related to the scene in atsv, where miles' and spot's consciousness briefly overlap in mumbatan? there, when spot enters the collider and miles gets blasted away, miles is able to see snippets of the 'future'. future in quotation marks bc we havent actually seen any of this happen yet (aside from inspector singh's nearly dying), but all of miguel's talk in the movie does strongly lean to it all inevitably happening. anyways, both times when miles is able to have some kind of glimpse into the future, it happens in the proximity of an alchemax particle collider....

anyways speculation time. so my theory is this: in atsv he's doing a new thing with his venom powers, where he absorbs energy from something then sends it back. so maybe that aspect of his venom powers, of being able to absorb the energy of something, when combined with the proximity of the time-bending particle collider, is what allows miles to see further in the future. miles is able to somewhat absorb the time-bending properties of alchemax's particle collider, which we see lowkey it here in this scene, where miles is able to hear brief snippets from the future. then we see it highkey in atsv, when spot practically gets merged with the collider and miles kinda briefly shares consciousness with him, where miles is able to see inspector singh's demise (which unfolds just moments later), and the other events that spot is conspiring to do. perhaps that is whats at play here?

mumble mumble another speculation abt maybe miles possesses the power to alter canon events bc of this which is too long to get into rn bc this post is already long enough so ill post abt that some other time mumble mumble

also, seeing how the "miles, look out" line from this scene is not from itsv, if it isnt from atsv either (ill have to rewatch to check if it is), then i think that line will play a big role in btsv.

anyways, regardless of whether my speculations are actually accurate or just insanity, i do think that this scene is foreshadowing an important plot point in btsv, the same way the inconspicuously glitching spider in itsv (from just a few scenes before this one!) ended up playing a big role in atsv.

[sasquapossum]

I know I've beaten this drum before, but here we go again: "everybody move to the city" is not the solution to car-culture and urban-design problems. In fact, I think it's part of the problem. Allow me to explain.

tl;dr it's all about the votes

First, let's figure out what "the city" means. Most large cities consist of two parts: a very dense core, and outlying areas which are practically the same as suburbs. Still vast tracts of single-family detached homes, sliced apart by "stroads" that isolate more than they connect. (For those who don't know the term, it's a portmanteau of "street" which is a place of commerce and "road" which is a way to get from one city/town to another. Stroads combine the worst of both, separating what's on either side with high-speed traffic.) A classic example is Detroit, which is one of the largest US cities geographically. The stroad near us when we lived in Detroit was actually worse than the one near us in an adjoining suburb (Hazel Park), in both we were surrounded by other SFD homes, in both we had major highways nearby, a dearth of stores, and so on.

So, "move to the city" can mean one of two different things: moving to the core, or to the outer areas. If you move from the suburbs to an outer area, that's what we in computing call a "no-op" - an instruction that does nothing. Neither the place you left nor the place you went to has or will change, except for a few exceptions I'll get to later. Most importantly, nothing has changed for you. You're still living in basically the same environment (except maybe a bit dirtier and with fewer trees). On the other hand, if you move to the core - the only version of "move to the city" that really means anything at all - you might have well improved conditions for yourself, at the expense of making that core even less affordable. You will also have added to the infrastructure challenges there. "New urbanists" like to talk about the infrastructure costs of sprawly suburbs, but for electrical power in particular there are equal challenges for dense urban cores. The optimal distribution is actually somewhere in between. This effect is somewhat attenuated for other kinds of infrastructure such as fresh water, food distribution, and waste disposal, but we still have to ask: how many more upstate New York communities have to host New York City's trash? And where do all those garbage trucks go at night? Hint: it's not near the people whose trash they're hauling. Another "externality" imposed on adjacent communities so that the core residents can forget about it.

If everyone tried to move from the suburbs to denser urban cores at once, it would be a disaster even for the cities themselves for all the reasons above, but there are other problems as well. What would happen to all of the abandoned buildings and infrastructure back in the suburbs? To get an idea, take a tour of the "Rust Belt" some time. That will show you quite clearly the human and ecological toll of emigration on such a scale. What a waste. With disasters at both ends, how is that a solution?

This is where we get to the other ill effect of people moving to the city. Everyone who leaves from a suburb to a city is leaving their vote behind. That leaves even fewer voters to do anything about zoning and other policies that make suburbs the way they are. I've seen it over and over; the people who care about creating walkable neighborhoods and reducing car dependence leave, so policy remains in the hands of people who want to keep things the same. That is, quite directly, why most suburbs have town centers that are sterile and useless - if they even exist. Too many suburbs don't even have a real center, just one or more extended strip malls.

What we need is not more 15-minute cities but more 15-minute towns. Thousands of them. Reconfiguring and repurposing existing structures, where people already live and will continue to live, instead of abandoning them and building even more in the cities. Mixed use, mixed income, medium density. The missing middle according to some. To achieve that goal, people need to stay and vote (or, even better, serve on town zoning boards and such). The day when the cities could absorb the nearer suburbs - as Detroit did once, to become so big - are gone. No suburb would submit to such incorporation in the current milieu of property values and school funding and so on. The weight of numbers from city dwellers can't be used to force change anywhere else at anything less than the state level. How well does that work? Again, Detroit - ringed by more prosperous suburbs - tells us the answer: not at all. Detroit has no influence over poor suburbs like Hazel Park or River Rouge, let alone rich ones like Birmingham or Bloomfield Hills.

Every town (or small city) that has succeeded in reversing the process of suburban sprawl, in creating walkable and pleasant but still affordable and ecologically sustainable neighborhoods, has done so through the efforts of residents who stayed and did the work. "Move to the city" is a religion among the privileged few (who must be few for it to work at all), not a solution for the many. As long as it's the mantra among self-styled "new urbanists" we will all get exactly nowhere. Let go of that idea. Embrace strong towns instead.

[cafeleningrad]

🔥 + any shipping discourse of your choosing :D

Oh boy, at a point I noticed that so many shipping wanks in fandoms just use the same circle of ad verbatim arguments just with a different coat of paint. And for the sake of enjoying my fandom experience I prefer to stay out of such discussions as good and often as possible.

BUT...

One development I don't get is the need of canonisation of shipping. I mean sure, who of us hadn't thought that a certain relationship would have improved/made more sense for a story, especially a character arc? Sometimes bittersweetness, unused potential, or unfullfilled longing makes sense for the plot, sometimes the author is an idiot (the eternal pain of enduring shounen manga endings written by men...). However... that is what fandom's for: The possibility of transformative versions, exploring ideas canon had space for, never intended, going silly, having fun. I would love to see my blorbos smooch each other but in the end that's free time enjoyment, nothing that I need to harass a creator/creative team over.

Whereas I do think that well written stories developing relationships that stray away from the standart het couple* can speak to people, and put a foot in the door for more stories being told by creators outside the standart Hollywood demographic, they are going to be usually not as popular in fandoms themselves. The reasons can be varied although my take would be it would be the invisible undercurrents of general dismissal of female characters, especially PoC female characters, a disinterest to engage outside of big IPs in first place. That's not me policing what kind of shipping would be the "🙏moral thing actually(TM)✨", fandom is for personal interest or fun in the first place. What I do find questionable is how the way that the language of social justice activism is coopted to argue why one's blorbos should smooch each other is beyond personal gratification actually also will singlehandedly be a deciding step in [add human right's movement of your choice here], adds another layer of annoying shipping culture. Certainly, it is mean how even acknowledgement of minorities has to compete against other demographic acknowledgement which also only has a chance to tolerated, and not even of large scale, in the accessible mainstream media. Still, I don't find it weird how, by example, the mere shipping (not even canon) of an interracial couple gets dismissed by other shipping groups as "no, the character is ✨gay✨, hun, no girls allowed".

I would maybe less irked by all that if so much shipping culture recently wouldn't push for "canonisation". having one ship next to the other or liking both ships could be a perfectly fine thing within fandom but the claim that one kind of ship would be better than the other in canon, without the consideration what cultural bagage comes with dismissing some kinds of relationships).

[*I mean two able bodied, cis, beauty standart guy and gal. Next to queer relationships (not excluding any intersection either),there's so much potential in talking about cross cultural relationships, dealing with disabilities or beauty standarts, or love in old age, generally love outside the model that "romance" occurs in fast food media only when the protagonist dude meets a conventionally attractive girl and they're obligated to fall for each other based on hormones boiling alone.]

In ill thoughts, I suspect that the wish for caonisation is only partly based of the distortion of fandom as activism space. (I mean when you spend all your life time on the web in fandom instead of going out creating or commissioning others to create the progressive work you want to see - or, very subversive, actually do activism and community support work yourself.)

Another the other reason I ill-mindedly speculate on is overindulgent wishfullfillment in two forms: A) A favourite blorbo gets so much projected on, they become a distorted fanon character yet have nothing to do with canon themes. This character then becomes a an altered Gary/Mary Sue doll the fandom created for itself, uses for dollplay whereas the canon does it's own thing. So what ever happens to thematical canon blorbo doesn't meet the ideal of fanon Frankenstein-blorbo and is met with anger. B) A Variation of the point above is selfprojection on the blorbo. Say when a blorbo becomes one's personal idol. Eg, like YA romance protagonists who're so suitable for reader inserts that one could easily think they themselves were the pretty sad girl with a hot love interest. The same can be observed in fandom where blorbos undergo the same doll-fication in a more personalized edition. Then character X isn't their canon self anymore, aggressive factions of fandom claim that X absolutely has to get together with the blorbo love interest - no matter the rest of the plot. (I wish the shipping wars during GoT season 8 were my only example but oh boy...!)

Speaking of the rest of the plot... I really dislike how overtaking shipping has become in fandom spaces. Certainly, makes more sense in romance centered fandoms but in in non-romance centered fandoms, it really bugs me how during the duration of shipping wars (and for all the flimsy excuses fandoms uses in the points above) it's impossible to talk about anything else, and how distorted fandom views can get about a certain kind of ship. Maybe, two blorbos smooching is not that world shattering as it personally feels.

(Yes, this is a reminder to myself by times when fandom gets too stupid. A reality check helps by times that people getting heated about two dimensional events is still leisure time whereas financial ends and deadlines need to be met, and honestly if something bugs me, the block function of users and/or tags is a great thing. Generally, we should log off more often but that's a topic for another day...)

[generalfoxy21]

Rabbids teory

Well, today I come to create a theory of the rabbids that will explain a little your story and connect some of these games with the raving rabbids. I hope you enjoy it.

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Well, who doesn't know the rabbids, those rabbits that roast crazy things and once kidnapped Rayman and they were bad :v

It all started with Rayman raving rabbids, a party game that these crazy rabbids would kidnap Ryman and force him to play their games.

These are the antagonists, but do you know why the rabbids do that? The reality of your reasons for being bad is in rayman raving rabbids for gameboy advance (here everything is different)

In this game it is explained to us that the rabbids were not always the crazy and evil creatures that they are but before they were kind and gentle beings. They weren't crazy people who kidnapped people.

So what happened to them that they are now maniacs? Well, it turns out that all animals and maybe even other beings make fun of the rabbids because of their gentle and compassionate nature

Taking advantage of their goodness and innocence to make them evil and the ill-intentioned laugh at the latter, this reached such a point that the poor rabbids of that time could no longer stand it and went underground isolating themselves from everyone

Over time they only thought of one thing REVENGE, revenge of all the clearing of dreams for what they did to them… they became extremely aggressive and crazy beings the rabbids took advantage of their skills to build all kinds of weapons and plan that revenge they dreamed of so much.

And they'll assume what happened next, but why would the rabbids want to kidnap Ryman? After all they were able to go and directly attack the clearing of dreams but I have a theory and that is that kidnapping Rayman was their first part of the plan.

Rayman Is a hero so it could be a problem for the revenge of the Rabbids so they had to get it out of the way ,I also think that apart from the fact that it was necessary to remove Rayman, they could also kidnap him because that way they would show the clearing of dreams their intentions and that they were fearsome beings, and also maybe out of jealousy for Rayman after all, he is loved by many and they do not

(I'm taking the gameboy and ds version more into account, especially the gameboy version, just in case: v)

later, as we know, rayman defeated the rabbids and escaped (in the case of the gameboy version, he escaped with globox: v)and ryman would have peace for a while as for the rabbids it may be that they have been forced to leave the clearing of dreams (either because of ryman the habitants themselves or because the rabbids knew that it was not a good idea to stay there)

so the Rabbids, having been banished from the clearing of dreams, would end up traveling in search of a new home and ended up coming across our world, that is, the human world, the Rabbids would decide that this place could be their new home, but humans would not take it. Well, so the Rabbids decided to conquer the human world since they would not go with nonsense or they would leave themselves like the last time

as we know rayman found out that the rabbids wanted to conquer the human world on television he would decide to stop the rabbids

as we know rayman disguises himself as a rabbid and in the end he stops them again and again the rabbids are defeated

Of course, let's not forget that there is also Professor Barranco 3 and Professor Barranco 2, who are also the supreme leaders of the rabbids and from them the idea of ​​conquering the world (as for Professor Barranco and Serguei and Pink, their whereabouts are unknown at the moment. It is not known what happened to them but I think it was not something pretty)

another thing tv party i think this game is between ryman raving rabbids 1 and 2 it's just one thing that i like to think like that although i don't have much to say why i think it's like that but i really won't talk much about tv why not It has many interesting things except that the rabbids get into Rayman's TV and make life impossible for him and that the game ends as the rabbids started chasing Rayman, we could perhaps say that after the first raving rabbids some rabbids wanted to take revenge themselves from ryman but only

For the moment I will leave it here there are still other rabbids games that I should talk about that would be go home time travel (and the series is not canon and I think it deserves its own theories and the other games are not so relevant to my theories) and well the kingdome batle and sparks of hope and a bit of theories about the dlc in which ryman will be and returns

if this is divided this: v

[cosmindart]

while Im reposting Lazarus content lemme repost this short story with him that I lowkey have a soft spot for.

Warning for some blood and guts

______

Fuzzy images flashes by. A dark forest in the early night,  completely devoid of noise aside from a labored breath. His own breath. He feels disorientated, lost, sick and feverish... Then a jolt of pain, it feels distant and unreal… A memory of a past injury?

His head is pounding

The blurry forest doesn’t feel as quiet, there is a voice. Someone is  talking, it’s unintelligible and muffled. Who is this? What are they  saying? Why do they feel familiar?

Sharp pain in his stomach jolts Lazarus wide awake.

He  was sitting on a bed, far from the forest he imagined. Before he had the time to do anything about his stomachache nor properly take in his surroundings, a voice calls to him.

“Easy there fella! Lay back down will you, Ill give some painkiller okay”

Lazarus looked up. He knew that face.

“Otto?”

“Er… Have we met before? How do you know my name?”

The black man didn’t answer. Everything made a little more sense. His dream from last night, he was remembering how he met Otto. Well, not that Otto, another one in another world. He must have seen this new Otto coming to his aid before passing out prompting his old memories to come back. His head was still pounding however and he had trouble remembering the previous days. He left the previous dimension he was in in a hurry but he couldn’t recall why.

“Maybe you don’t speak English uh?... Still odd you know my name...” said the elderly white man scratching his head. “Did someone put a bounty on my head?”

“No, I knew a version of you… He was a good friend…”

“A version of me? Like a clone dealio?”

“A you from another dimension.”

“Parallel universe shenanigan like in that hero movie thang?”

“Yeah,  pretty much” Lazarus winced, still very much in pain. “I ended up in his world wounded and he took me in, similar to now with you. He was very kind and the world he lived in was very dangerous with poisonous fog that crept on you at a moment’s notice and supersized bugs who evolved after the arrival of said fog… Once I recovered enough to travel through dimensions again I took him with me. Otto became a travel friend of mine for a couple years…”

“What happened to him? Did he kick the bucket? Did you two have a fight and split?”

“No. He was alive when I left and we were in pretty good terms. We just found a world he felt at home in and wanted to stay there so I left on my own.”

“Why though? Why didn’t you stay? Why do you keep traveling like that?”

Lazarus laughed

“It feels a bit odd telling you my story. I can’t help but think ‘I told  you in great detail what happened to me already’ even if I know you’re not the same Otto…” Lazarus sighed, the pain was finally diminishing thanks to the pain killers. “It all started when I was 8. I had created inter-dimensional portals before that but they were small and I could only ever stick my arm or head into. Shortly after my 8th birthday however I was able to create my first portal big enough for me to properly pass through. When I did, I entered into a brand new world, in an alien body. I was having a blast. A real dream of adventure in a fantasy land come true…”

“You couldn’t go back to your world after that could you uh?”

“Yeah… When I made a new portal to go back and ended in yet another foreign world. I realzed I had no control and was lost across dimensions…” Laz was surprised Otto caught on so quick. “Then there’s the part you’ll get mad about and think I'm stupid… I somehow ended back in a world very similar to my home. I even found ‘my mom’ there, another version kinda like you and the other Otto.”

“You didn’t stay there did you” the old man sighed with disappointment

“I did, for about 10 years. Then I left to find my ‘real mom’ again.”

“And you ended up lost again…”

“Pretty much…”

“Did you ever find other versions of your mom?”

“Nope. That second mom and you are the only instance of me meeting someone twice through dimensions.”

“Maybe it’s a sign. Maybe you and I should stick together!” He laughed then joked. “That or you missed old me so much that you somehow made your way here!”

“I think you’re not too far off.”

“Huh? Wait. By that logic shouldn’t you have already found your mom or more clones of her?”

“Not quite. I think my subconscious control over my power has been a recent development and..”

“Still!” Otto interrupted “You still miss your mom don’t you? You still miss your home! If you think about it then…”

“It’s not doable anymore. It’s been so many decades that I don’t remember her face… I'm not even sure what her name was. My memories of her are too foggy to focus on. Otto number 1 was someone I met only a few years ago…”

“Decades?! Maybe for the first one but your second mom. You said she raised you for ten years so you were around 18 when you left. You look to be around 30 so that’s just 10 years, and you had just as many years to form memories about her.”

“It’s more complicated.” Lazarus waved the other man’s suggestions off. “It’s been more that just 10 years… I may be physically and mentally 34 but... But I’ve been travel though dimensions for hundreds of years actually. Before I met the first Otto I genuinely had lost track of how long I had been 30. He helped me grow a bit but I’ve again been stuck at 34 for a couple years I think. I'm not even sure How many years I spent lost between dimensions when I was 8. It could have been a few month just as much as it could have been 20 years. You easily lost track of time when you end up in dimensions that used different calendars and no one to remind you it’s your birthday.”

Otto sat there completely silent. What was there to say anyway. The younger man probably had no interest for useless apologies and platitudes. The old man just stared, feeling empty and sad on the trans man’s behalf. The black man didn’t add anything to the conversation either, choosing instead to get a bit comfier in the cover of the borrowed bed he laid on.

Lazarus was silent but he wasn’t upset. He was thankful that this new Otto tried to give him ideas and try to help and he felt bad to have to rebuke him like this. Truth is, he too wished his suggestion worked  and he could just go home.

With the conversation over Lazarus finally took the time to look himself over. Under the cover he ran his hands over his body inspecting for changes in skin textures alerting him of scar tissues. He kept the stomach area for last since pain came from her he already knew something was wrong there anyway. When he did touch his abdomen he was surprise to notice the pain came from wounds that hadn’t healed yet. It was quite odd to him. Usually when he got hurt in a dimension any wound would either be healed or nonexistent when traveling to another dimension. Did he get attacked right after ending up here, he wondered.

On the other side of the wooden cabin, Otto was in the kitchen cooking for two. His rescue had been sleeping for quite a while and with how long they talked he was surely hungry. Hopefully this would cheer him up and distract him somewhat from their previous discussion.

“Did you stitch me back up or was I already patched up when you found me?” Lazarus scream-asked from the bedroom

“You were all open when I found you in my yard! I called a doctor over to stuff your insides back in! Hope he did a decent job!”

Otto made his way back to the bedroom to check on him

“You had a clean slash across your tummy like someone tried cutting you up in half. What happened?”

“I can’t remember quite frankly. Maybe the blood-loss messed with my memory…”

“Or you got hit hard on the head on your way there” The grandpa laughed, he always laughed.

Laz was about to respond when his stomach growled, the grumbling echoing through his open mouth. That was a bit embarrassing, but Otto found it quite funny.

“Lunch’s on the way! Give it 5 more minutes!

__________

Lazarus spent the next couple of days bedridden and taken care of by Otto. It wasn’t something Laz frequently allowed people to do. He always had a rather feral and independent attitude, but with Otto it was different. May it be the one he met in his younger years or this one, he had this deep trust in him where he felt safe enough to be vulnerable around him. Otto was like a father to him and even if this one was a different person to him it was like he always knew him. Oddly enough it seemed like Otto reflected this paradoxical familiarity, very much acting like Laz was a long lost son he finally reunited with.

Usually when the inter-dimensional traveler landed in a world, his main course of action was to gather info about any potential version of his mom residing in it. Not this time however. While warm and in good company with Otto, things felt off. He still didn’t remember what world he was just before ending up here, what happened there nor how he got his injury. The fact that said injury had not healed when hopping through his wormhole was concerning itself. The only alternative would be that the injury appeared after the jump which wasn’t any more reassuring since so far jumping through dimensions always landed in in places where he’d be safe.

The only closest instance of something like this happening was when he met the first Otto. He was in a weakened state yes but it wasn’t as bad. He arrived in that fog dimension starving and dehydrated, a portal-hop wouldn’t have fixed it right? From what he understood inter-dimensional traveling did change his body’s appearance and by extension helped heal or erase wounds but it just couldn’t put food in his stomach. But then there was the bear trap thing… He always ended up in places that were safe to him but back then he landed right next to a bear trap and stepped on it. Granted had he not stepped on it the area was in general safe… sort of? Then again him stepping on said trap or just landing there specifically was what allowed Otto to find him and help him get away from the fog so in some way you could say that the trap was a form of safety assurance?

Lazarus was completely lost in his thoughts trying to make sense of everything. Wasn’t there another instance where he wasn’t safe? Yeah there was one other time, a time were everything was off too. He landed in a snowy version of japan where he had no business being seeing as he was wearing summer traditional cabo-verdean clothes. He still hadn’t made sense of what had happened back then either.

All these uncertain feelings have been what kept him here, more than the comfy company of Otto. In any other situation where he was wounded, Lazarus would have done another dimensional jump as soon as he could to get his wound healed, but here? No. No he couldn’t risk it, what if this time it just undid all the stitching and left his wide open with his guts spilled on the floor? Staying here until he had fully recovered was the only option.

“Mornin’ pal” Said the old man, interrupting the black man’s thinking “Holdin’ up good today?”

“Yeah, I'm doing fine” He replied softly “Just.. just wondering about things…”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“I'm thinking… I think I might be dying.”

“What? The doctor said you’d be fine! You’re still a young fella with lots of energy, you’re not going to die!”

“I know my mind and body are somehow still young but… What if my powers are old?”

“I don't get it.”

“When I go through a portal, my body changes and shapeshift to match the new world I end up in right”

“Right?”

“What if my powers are to old for that? Like, I still have enough capabilities to open those inter-dimentional doors but not enough to ‘rebuilt’ my body anymore. What if when I do travel again my body just fall apart, split open at the seams”

“And leave you as if someone cut you clean open…” Otto continued, blood draining from his face. Were his hair not already white it would have lost its color too.

“Yeah.”

“That’s terrifying if that’s what’s going on…b-but you don’t have to worry about that if you just stay here! I know you still want to find your mother but if stepping though one of your doors might kill you, wouldn't it be better to just stay? I don’t mind you sticking around!”

Was he ready to give up on his quest? Not really, but the thought of his potential demise didn’t exactly entice him either.

“I'm not gonna press ya on that” reassured the elderly man. “I can’t imagine being in your shoes right now. If you feel like it’s time for you to go Ill let you go even with the risks. If you want to stay here, my house will always be open for you.”

“I might not even need to leave to be honest. I didn’t really look for my mom here yet. She might be out there in this world, who knows...”

Otto nodded, he could tell Lazarus didn’t believe any of the words he said, he probably only said it to reassure both Otto and himself.

“I think I'm feeling good enough to go out.” said Laz in an attempt at changing the subject. “Maybe you could show me around town.”

“Yeah sure! You’ll love it there!”

The old guy helped his friend off the bed. The clothes the short man was wearing were far to big for him, they were Otto’s. His original clothes had been taken off of him when the doctor patched him up so Otto could clean the blood off of them and had him wear an old shirt the entire time he was stuck in bed. His old garb should be clean and dry by now.

Once dressed up the duo stepped outside. It had only been a few days since he felt the outside wind on his face but it felt like it had been a month to him. He was so used to a fast-paced life always running traveling. This had been so different, but he didn’t hate it.

“Let’s check out my back garden!”

“Something special back there?”

“Well that’s where I found you. Maybe it will bring back memories or you dropped something there, i don’t know!”

Otto’s cabin was smack in the middle of a huge grass field and his ‘back garden’ was just more of that for the most part. Aside from a sea of green there was a patch of dirt with clothing lines, a stone well and a spot of dark plants. His confusion over the brown grass was swiftly cleared up, it was blood. Of course, it hadn’t rained so the spot he was found bleeding out on was still stained. Beside the dried up blood there was nothing there sadly. No trinkets, memento or spark that returned his memory.

“Not doing much fer you uh?”

“Not really no.”

“That’s alright. We gave it a try at least!” he adjusted his cowboy hat “Let’s move it down town and have you meet the good peeps. Ill clean this up later if the weather doesn’t do it for me. I don't really care for the looks but we don’t want no wolf lurkin’ around thinking there’s a snack waiting for him or som’in’.”

With a silent nod from the trans man the two of them made their way back to the front of the estate. From there they took the small dirt road that zig-zaged down the hill. Lazarus wondered what kind of land he was on. The lush green landscape reminded him of the European country side but both Otto’s way of talking and the doctor’s accent it sounded like he was in a western-ish American town. It wasn’t the oddest clashing combination he encountered in his many travels but it was still a bit confusing. The European vibes didn’t leave once he arrived in the village it very much reminded him of a rural Switzerland town he visited once.

“T’s beautiful here ain’t it?”

“It is.”

The streets were sunny, the people were welcoming. It truly was a nice bit of town. Otto introduced him to the butcher, a massive man who playfully laughed quite a bit at the trans man stature and offered him a nice cut of meat to cover his bones. Next was the market manager, she was just a vegetable shopkeeper most of the time but every first Thursday of the month she’d be in charge of setting up and keeping order on the traveling open market going through town. Then Laz got to meet the local seamstress, if he were to stay here he’d need more than one outfit to wear. For now they were just looking though, they didn't really have the money for that just yet.

Before they could reach their next destination, the duo were stopped by the town doctor.

“Hey! How is the foreigner holding up?” asked the practitian.

“I'm doing okay” replied Lazarus

“I’ve nursed him well” added Otto

“That's great to hear. Now I don’t want you to see me as some sort of vulture but… When can I expect some compensation? As much as I’d love to help from the goodness of my heart, I still need to put food on the table and this wasn’t just handing out cough syrup.”

“I totally understand.” Otto said softly “Ill make it up to ya real soon!”

“I hope your mining endeavors are treating you well then.”

“Eh! I kinda gave up on that.” The old man shrugged. “I do know there’s a big bear walkin’ round the forest though. Getting rid of it could bring me a pretty penny with all the meat and the pelt! Would make the place safer to go pick berries too!”

“Ah yes, the one roaming the south quadrant… I haven’t been able to go there to gather herbs since February…I wish you the best of luck with it!”

“Ill try to help the best I can” Added Laz. It kinda felt weird to hears these words come out of his mouth. He spent years on his own only ever looking out for himself, not out of selfishness but out of necessity and saying he’d help someone so genuinely was rather unlike him.

__________

Lazarus had little to no worries hunting a bear. He’s hunted bigger and wilder beast before. The small man fiddled with the bucket filled with spoiled fish guts. In the past his usual method of ‘hunting’ was just making a ruckus until some predators showed up and he’d just pounce on them and fight with his claws but using actual bait and shooting the shit out of the bear from a distance was probably a better tactic.

“Once you have the bait down got hide at your spot okay” Ordered Otto

“I came here to actually help, no sit in a bush.”

“The stitches on your belly are still recent! We don’t need them popping out while you’re chased by a bear!”

Laz grumbled. That was Otto alright, always protective and fatherly.

“If it runs at you and tries to maul you Ill still jump in full force, stitches be damned!”

“Don’t count on that. I never miss my shots!”

“I doubt that.” Lazzy chuckled.

After some bantering the two of them set their plans into motion: setting the bait, moving to secure spots and waiting for the target to show up. They sat in silence for hours hoping for the darn thing to show up. The woods were big so there were no guarantee it would pass by today but they were patient.

An hour became two, then three then the sun was on it’s way out. All they saw come by were a few deers, a wolf and a couple of smaller critters. Otto would have stayed there longer but with the bait being almost gone after the other beasties nibbling on them and Lazarus being around, it would be best to retreat for the day.

“Growing hungry?” Asked the old man looking up at the tree the dark skinned lad sat in. “It’s getting a bit late.”

“I wouldn’t be against it.” he replied, carefully climbing down. While he had mostly healed it was still noticeable that he was still a bit weak and in pain. You can’t walk out a huge injury like your stomach being torn open in just a week after all.

“Alright let’s head out and try again tomorrow!”

It didn’t take too long for them to make their way back home. Once they arrived Otto looked at the backyard. He still hadn’t cleaned the patch of blood back there, maybe it might have brought the bear around here today while they were on the other side of the woodlands. He didn’t know if it would be better to get rid of the iron-filled scent of that spot to raise their chances of attracting the bear on their planned spot or set up their hunting ground here.

Without telling a word to his semi-permanent guest the silver-haired man walked through the back door to go and take a closer look at the ground. The earth had been slightly disturbed indeed, but the tells were far to minimal for them to have been caused by a bear. It must have been a small dog or wolf pup who sniffed by, nothing bigger.

“Otto? Otto?” Lazarus called from the cabin.

“Be there in a sec!” Otto exclaimed as he ran back to his house. “Sorry I wanted to check something real quick. Ill get dinner done!”

“I was actually going to ask you where some of the ustencils were…”

“So YOU would cook? Not thanks!” The big man laughed "Based on how you chewed on the raw slab of meat the butcher gifted you I don’t think I can trust your cooking skills!”

“Just because I enjoy a fresh cut every now and then doesn’t meant I can’t cook!” He retorted with a smile. “But if you want to be my personal chef I'm not against it!”

After some jokes and playful jabs at each other, Lazarus went to lay down on the living room couch. As much as he hated Otto smothering him with his protective remarks he was right in saying he was still recovering and Laz still needed to rest as much as possible. As he lounged around he thought about this world. It’s was rather nice and cozy. Maybe it could use some more technology like a TV perhaps. Sadly he’d need to find something else to keep himself occupied until dinner was ready.

He wondered what kind of job he could get here. Staying seemed like the best option he had right now. Though come to think of it, the town was rather small and everyone seemed to already have their place set. Was there even a job he could take? It seemed Otto was always home with him, did he not have a job of his own? He did mention giving up on his mining project...

“Plates up!” said the old man yoinking Lazzy out of his thoughts. “Hope you like mushroom soup!”

“I do!” The young man looked at the bowls “My portion is twice yours. Are you not hungry?”

“You need a lot of food to heal fast.” He scolded him, pulling on his cheek. “That’s what why you get that much.”

“I get it! I get it!” he patted his cheek. “Doesn’t mean you should starve yourself for me…”

Did he not have enough groceries to feed the both of them properly, he though. Maybe they should have shot and brought over the deer they spotted earlier… Or did he have too limited ammo for that and needed to save them for the more sellable bear.

“Eat up before it get cold you goon!”

“Okay! Okay! Calm down!”

Laz ate but all he could taste was guilt. This old man had been living on his own already not making much. With how much he ate as he was recovering he’d probably decimated all of the poor man’s rations by now. Something needed to be done.

The trans man waited to night to fully set in before heading out. He didn’t mind the darkness too much. He may not have night vision but he was probably more capable of navigating in the darkness than the average human. Forget about the bait bucket, this time around he’ll do things his way. He will find the bear, he will kill it and bring it home for some decent cash.

__________

When Otto woke up in the morning instead of finding Lazarus sleeping in the living room he was met with a bear carcase. He was utterly baffled as to how the small guy could have dragged the thing here. On it a letter was pinned a letter:

Dear Otto, I'm very sorry for the strain I’ve put on your finances and supplies. There just isn’t enough work or resources in this small town to sustain the both of us. You already barely scrapped by when you were on your own so having an extra mouth to feed and house is just not feasible. I have decided to take my leave to remedy the problem. I know I could Have maybe tried something else, but to tell you the truth, the resources weren’t the only factor in my decision. Sure, the search for my mother still tug at me but it’s something else still. I loved it here, I felt happy and somewhat at home here. Yet it felt wrong. Being happy and flourishing like this just doesn’t feel right. It’s not what my normal is. I’ve spent years struggling, learning all kinds of survival skills to keep myself alive. Fighting for my right to live is what I'm supposed to do. At least it’s what it feels like. I want to be happy like this again but I don’t think I’ve deserved it yet somehow. It’s not my time yet. I still belong to the in-between time streams. I have to leave. I have to run. I have to earn this kind of ‘happy ever after’ bullshit. I know you said you wouldn’t hold me back if I decided to leave, but I know you, I know you’d have tried to convince me otherwise and you’d have probably been right. I think I know I'm making a stupid decision, it’s sort of hitting me how much of a mistake I'm probably making just by reading the words I'm writing. But something inside me tells me I have to go. I just have to. I deeply appreciate what you’ve done for me. I don’t know if Ill make it out the other side in one piece but if I do I hope that along my travel Ill meet “you” again. Signed, Lazarus Buddy Anderson.