#maybe i shouldn't WANT other people to be sad
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shapelytimber · 2 days ago
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Wanted to paint some of my favorite characters, nothing more nothing less
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[COMMISSIONS]
Way too much yapping like an embarrassing amount, the individual portraits and the template I used below vvv
I shouldn't be allowed to talk about my favorite characters- especially to people who (presumably) don't know them xjfkdk apart from the very popular ones ofc
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ILLYA KURYAKIN (The man from U.N.C.L.E)
gay ass little Russian spy I love him he is so *dramatic* and a huge nerd and a Beatles fan and into fashion design- perfect pocket size blorbo ;w; also seeing a Russian character being given a positive leading role in an American tvshow from the 60s ?? Yes he lives in New York and works for UNCLE America.... But he is still a communist ?? Incredible ! Also I really like the fact he isn't given the cliché personality traits often given to Russian characters i e anger issues drinks a lot violent ect (looking at you shitty(imo) modern remake... What did you do to my little guy ;;). In a close contest with Spock for the "gayest man from tvshow" of the 60s..... And in my heart he is winning djdkd for me the gay subtext of muncle hits so much more because it's not a scifi show- it's closer to home, Napoleon and Illya were *like that* in the present day of the 60s, they were both human, and no alien fuckery made them go to the village more than once or play house in the suburbs or get attached ass up to get pegged on a regular basis... Truly a show that feels written by an old queen and a guy with the biggest fem dom fetish jkvjjkb (don't get me wrong tho I adore star trek tos and spirk too <3)
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KUROO HAZAMA and PINOKO (Black Jack)
sometimes I rewatch some of the oavs from the 90s when I'm sad :) I had a huge phase a couple years back when I read nearly all the manga (should really finish it... Or reread the whole thing frankly), watched *all* the shows (bar young black jack, hated that shit) and idk I just love this venal bitch so much- him and his daughter and his conflicted feelings for his tboy ex that he still loves kfkfkf btw I'm dying for a modern take on this like please please please I'd love to see Kei Kisaragi's story rewritten a bit (trans character in the 70s sure was progressive but oh boy-), because him and black jack's relationship makes me so *weak*.... And maybe see him a bit more than in one story- anyway ! When it comes to his daughter Pinoko, it's very hit or miss- when the writers lean on the cute father adoptive daughter relationship it's great, when they lean more on the whole "she has a crush on him" (very much like a child in most case, and he *never* reciprocate thank god) and bring up the fact she is technically 18 a lot (she was an evil tumor trapped in her sister before he created a body for her- black jack shit dw), and she gets jealous of other women.... Well it's terrible and I'm uncomfy :(
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EVA KANT (Diabolik)
Look.... You just can't show me danger diabolik 1968 and not expect me to become insane djdkdkdk she is so cool ;; !!! Her and her devious eel of a man (here as a panther, because even tho I haven't read the comic yet, I'm taking an educated guess that all the panther imagery is here to represent him, the lethal twunk always in the all black gimp suit... And if it's not then fuck my entire life ig fjfkkd), the cuntiest het couple you've ever seen, such freaks I love them ! Partners in crime that will blow up the tax offices of the whole country if you try to put a bounty on them <3 they are in the guilty faves category only because I'm this invested in these characters after 1 (one) movie fkfkf watched the first two remakes and was hmmm let's say underwhelmed, could have been worse but going after the 60s one ie peak cinema was hard... I went in fully invested in these heterosexuals and they still fucked up their romance and relationship ;; (don't spoil me the third one btw haven't seen it yet ! I know it's the yaoi one- which doesn't give me much hope for Eva tbh...) I'll soon start reading the comics tho ! Managed to find all twelve volumes of "Il grande Diabolik" in french for pretty cheap so I'm excited for that :D (might scan them and upload them online because omg I tried finding scans in *any* language and only found a dubious website that sold digital copies for 7€ a volume ??? What is this)
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UTA (The Void / Тургор / Turgor / Tension)
Apathy girlyyyyy she just like me for real for real nfkfk what absolutely charmed me about her is yes her design, but more importantly her chamber's design (if you've never played the void, a sister's chamber is a space that represent her. You get a sense of who she is by exploring her chamber before finding her and talking to her soul it's great). The lonely island out at sea, her laying down on a suspended steel boat in a grotto, looking passively at the moon by a crack on the ceiling.... And the moon is looking back. Incredible ! I love this game so much
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KIM KITSURAGI (Disco Elysium)
Do I really have to explain this one ? When I played the game with quiji I remember I kept saying "when Kim talks, we *listen*" djkdk we did get a good grade in Kim Kitsuragi and got him to dance in the church <3 this fucking centrist cop wormed it's way into my heart and many others because of course he did. The only Kim K in my eyes. Also funny anecdote : before I played Disco Elysium, I had one concept art masterclass where a kinda famous concept artist came to give advice, make us really stressed then give us a shitty grade.... And when I tell you this man looked so much like Kim ??? Same haircut, glasses, face with a scar *exactly* where Kim's portrait has a stark shadow on his cheek and he was dressed in an orange top- truly uncanny. Anyway, Kim is so fucking cool how does he do it
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DARK VADOR (La guerre des étoiles)
*sight* not surprising if you know me... and to be clear when I say Vader I don't mean Anakin Skywalker, post barbecue only zouz here. I refuse to yap about this man djdkdk I already do that way to much in ao3 comment sections
And here is the template I used ! Don't know who made it tho sorry...
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PS : all these where made in 2-3 hours each :D wanted to challenge myself by painting quickly, and I mostly (looking at the Eva Kant one that gave me trouble) succeeded !
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sassydefendorflower · 2 days ago
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not me getting irrationally frustrated with this eternal pissing contest between Brotherhood and '03 that somehow still seems to happen even though both shows can legally drink alcohol in Germany by now.
(i wanted to say "can drive a car" but, no, I refuse to use a silly little US-centric comparison for this)
They both have pros and cons. They both have strengths and weaknesses. They are not interchangeable and, to be honest, they are such deeply different stories it feels like an insult to constantly compare them to each other.
OF COURSE you're going to hate Brotherhood, if you expect it to be simply a "remastered" of '03 - '03 is a TRAGEDY and it sets itself up as a tragedy from the very first episode on! I mean, ALPHONSE ELRIC IS OUR NARRATOR! Is there anything more ominous than that? Edward Elric is inherently tragic in '03. Even when he's being silly, everything he does is tinged in grey sadness and a heavy cloud of "doomed" hanging over his head.
If you know this character - if you LOVE this character - of course Brotherhood is gonna disappoint the fuck out of you. Because Brotherhood is the OPPOSITE of a tragedy. It is a story about hope. About if enough people believe in the good of humanity, maybe we can actually change the course of history and create something hopeful.
If the story of '03 is "the path to hell is paved in good intentions" then Brotherhood is all about breaking the cycle of violence.
Neither of these concepts is inherently better or worse than the other. But you cannot compare them. Not really.
You cannot look at a tragedy and go "why is nobody laughing? why are they dying? why are they losing hope?" when all of these things are written into the foundation of the story itself.
AND
just as importantly. You cannot look at a story about hope and go "but why aren't the consequences more dire? why are two opposing forces fighting alongside each other? why are we having a laugh if the world is ending?" - when the answer to that question is: to create a better world you first have to dream of one.
You cannot expect Brotherhood to deal with the Ishvalen genocide to the degree of gruesomeness that '03 does (or with the degree of justified rage by Scar) if Brotherhood is fundamentally a story about breaking the circle of violence even when it fucking sucks. I am not saying Brotherhood couldn't have handled it better in parts (never adapted manga chapters, my beloved) but it just fundamentally isn't a story about a justified Ishvalen survivor trying to enact large scale revenge on the Amestrian military - that's '03.
And if you're looking for a darker look at militarism and imperialism (that doesn't try to offer you a idealistic hopeful ending) there is an entire 51 episode show about that! But don't go and complain when that show dares to end in tragedy. Don't complain if there isn't a happy ending, or if all your heroes end up deeply tragically sad and alone.
You can't compare apple and oranges, and you can't really compare Brotherhood and '03 - so any attempt at calling on better than the other kind of falls short.
"'03 is better!" - yeah, a better tragedy. A more realistic look at Ishval. A darker tale about personal responsibility and consequences. And the homunculi are just a touch more fucked up.
"Brotherhood is better!" - It certainly has more in-depth world building! And a very well-rounded ending. It certainly is a better story about hope. About coming together.
But they're not the same story. So, really, they shouldn't be treated as such.
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boofeine · 10 hours ago
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ripe clementines – bsk
part i | part ii | part iii
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pairing: seungkwan x fem reader
genre: fluff, smut, childhood friends to something... it's a really long one shot, if you don't like slow burn or like smut with no plot, maybe don't read this one, there's backstory.
synopsis: "it's you" you said, already a few steps to your home. he didn't say anything but looked reasonably surprised. those five steps left felt like forever in the dead silence it caused. seungkwan never really said anything back... thankfully, your friendship stayed the same.
warnings: mdni, tiny bit angst, stable family relationship, slice of life/timestamp, kissing, very much introductory :)
song: goodnight and go by imogen heap / calma do luccas carlos para meus amigos +55 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️
tags: @huen1ngk4i @aaniag @svteensworld @kooqitas @unlikelysublimekryptonite @yorkutis
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You've confessed to Seungkwan many years ago. In the middle of your school classroom, during a truth or dare game. You actually didn't have to, not exactly, but you did. You've chosen truth, being asked if you liked someone from the circle, and you simply said yes. Seungkwan, like the noisy best friend he was, turned to you with the most dramatic surprised face you've seen, like feeling betrayed for not knowing about this.
He whispered to your ear, asking who it was and kept peeping in the whole day when you didn't answer, so you had no other choice but to confess. "It's you" You said, already a few steps to your home. He didn't say anything but looked reasonably surprised. Those five steps left felt like forever in the dead silence it caused. And Seungkwan never really said anything back... thankfully, your friendship stayed the same. Besides the fact you had to spend your high school years tortured by Seungkwan jokingly teasing you for liking him at any chance he had like an immature kid boosting his ego. You didn't mind that much, it was just really annoying.
Last year of high school came, with the anxious and thrilling feeling of ending school years. You felt the happiest for getting on the major you wanted and even happier to see Seungkwan get on the university he dreamed of. You already knew this, but it took Seungkwan a few days to kick in he'd be on a totally different province, he'd be studying in Seoul and you near Jeju. You saw the pure happiness on him turn into a mixture of fear, sadness, and deep down excitement, you truly felt like he was a bit lost.
He came to you in tears a few times, and in one of those, he confessed to you. You couldn't help but feel like he was just afraid and confused. You felt wronged because that didn't feel like his true feelings towards you, he was just afraid of losing your friendship. You said that to him, but he didn't take it lightly, saying you shouldn't assume his feelings. You had a big real fight for the first time and were both stubborn and kept to your sides. You both followed your ways and apart, and that first year of college was one of the most difficult ones of your life.
Getting into young adulthood without your best friend was not easy, but you got through it. You got used to the university routine, met really good new people, and found a part-time job at a restaurant. That obligated you to talk with different people, and one of them just happened to be your future boyfriend. You didn't know then, but Seungkwan was also dating someone else by that time, and ironically, your partners were the ones to make you talk to each other again years after. The thought of having feelings for someone else making it stupid to have those lingering feelings in between you two. You reached out and casually talked a few times.
It was summer break when you first saw him face to face again. The 22 years old Seungkwan felt new but also not different to that 15 years old kid. He looked mature, physically and personally, the way he talked was so matured but his mannerisms were still those familiar sweet childlike habits. It was nice to be in his presence again and you felt like you missed it so much and didn't even know it. You kept ties, and you grew comfortable to feel like best friends again. Even though it was still hard to see each other often when he was in Seoul and you here.
He was there when you graduated college and even happier to hear you got a job in Seoul, and you'd be close again. You felt nostalgia, those same mixture of feelings Seungkwan had years before, reaching you in a slightly different manner. You and your boyfriend had talked, you were open to try but he seemed certain that long distance relationship wouldn't work for him. You got to Seoul with your heart up on your sleeve but Seungkwan was there for you, helping you stead the ground and stabilize yourself in the big city. He had to make it with a broken heart as well in the past, he knows how scary it can be. He wouldn't want that for you.
A few months later, Seungkwan had also ended his relationship. You never knew exactly what happened, it just did. He didn't seem broken but strangely quiet and to himself, he never talked about it, at least, not with you. As time passed, he slowly recovered and back to his light self.
Seungkwan's been always attractive to your eyes, he just has this way of presenting himself that it's just... attractive... he's confident but sweet. Straightforward but soft spoken. He's just him. It didn't come as a surprise but it was also unexpected when you got yourself tipsy making out with him in the back of his car during new years eve. Midnight came and you had Seungkwan's tongue on your mouth, his hands sneaking under your shirt when your body squirmed over his. You got startle by the fireworks outside. The windows were blurry and you could only see the smug, colorful flashing ligths. He was smiling when you looked back at him. "Happy new year, yn-ie" He said, pushing your hair back and kissing your cheeks like he hadn't crazily made out with you seconds before. It was an one time thing, but you couldn't deny that sometimes this tension just builds in the air around you both. You've dreamed about his soft skilled lips on yours more than you wished and think you should.
You both were able to get a break from work during the same days, like you planned and talked before. You felt so happy and excited to go on a trip back to Jeju to spend his 25th birthday with him and your families. They've been always close, even when you two refused to talk to each other, they'd still meet up.
And now that you're here, sitting on the grass, feeling the cold winter breeze, eating sweet clementines with Seungkwan by your side, like you used to, but now as grown-ups, this memories just feel a bit too much, coming back again like scenes from a movie in your head. With all the childhood moments with him this place reminds you, it aches your heart and brings that pure innocent teen crush feelings again to surface. You and your families had a really great meal together, and now you both came out to rest and have something sweet.
"What do you think?" His voice takes space, cutting the rush of thoughts from your mind.
"I'm actually craving that" You respond. You were still able to listen to his words about the new cafeteria and how you two could have breakfast there tomorrow.
The sun is beautifully setting across you, the sky tinted in orange, blue and light pink. You make conversation until it starts to get too dark outside. You walk down back home, Seungkwan's jacket around your shoulders with the familiar great smell of his citric cologne.
Once you get home, you find your families on the dinner table playing a game together, the laughter filling the room and warming your heart. You can't help but smile while letting your shoes by the door.
"Ya! You kids took forever, hm? We were getting worried" Your mom was the first one to see you two and approach your presence.
"Sorry, eomonnie. The sun was beautiful, we couldn't help it" Seungkwan responds for you. He's already a few steps ahead of you, his arms coming around his mother to hug her, leaving a kiss on top of her head. Your mom, who is beside his, caresses his arms with a found look.
"C'mon, get yourselves a glass of wine and come play with us" Seungkwan's dad concludes. You both just nod, making your way to the kitchen to grab your drinks, before taking your places at the large table, joining the pictionary game.
"They are staying over today, dear." Your mom approaches you as you sit on her other side and besides your dad. "Take some room for Seungkwan in yours, ok?" She adds, and you just agree happily.
"Dad, have you seen the heater? It wasn't working tidily last time I came home." You ask.
"I did look it. It was working, I hope it is still... Let me know if it crashes again" He replies. The game soon asks for more of your attention.
You guys don't even see the time passing by, deciding it was time to stop after midnight. Seungkwan's parents welcomed themselves at the guest room, your parents back to theirs as you tidy the room while Seungkwan washes up. You try settling up the heater, It was on, but not heating like It was supposed to. You grunt, frustrated, looking and figuring out the buttons. It was in its max capability. Seungkwan gets in the room when you're angrily slapping the machine. He laughs, half entrained, half worried.
"Calm down, Yn-ie" He smiles, approaching you "You gonna really break it like this" He says.
You roll your eyes, already done with it. "So you do it, I'm washing up" You say, already getting up and rummaging through your clothes.
"I will try" He says, jokingly greeting with his hand over his forehead like a soldier, mocking following your oders. You scoff, letting go a bit, it's just his ability to ease out the atmosphere, "It's not that bad, tho. It will get better as time passes. It's warm in here" He completes and you simply hum, making your way to the bathroom.
Once you come back, the room is truly warmer and Seungkwan was right about this. Looking back at him, he's already on one side of the bed, his eyes exhausted, threatening to shut already, that he had to fight from doing so until you are back. You smile foundly, taking the other side as you comfortably tug on your duvet and fall asleep beside him.
You're awake by the shiver your body lets out, it shakes on the spot. When you open your eyes, you come to realize your nose is freezing and your feet aching from coldness. The fucking heaten again, you groan, not taking the courage to leave the still warm sheets. Seungkwan moves beside you, it's dark but you can see the outline of his face looking over his shoulders. "Are you okay?" He says in his low raspy voice from just waking up.
"No! How are you not freezing?" You shout in a whisper tone. Seungkwan quietly laughs, as he moves to face you.
"I am" he confesses and you groan again, frustrated. "C'mere" He simply says, opening space on his duvet and arms for you. You dont think twice in slipping to the offered space. You cage your face on his shoulders, warming your cold nose over his robe, drinking in his scent as he hugs you to his side in an attempt to cut the cold with the warmth of each other's bodies.
"Thank you" you hum, pleasantly as you start to fall asleep again, trying not to overthink the position you're in, your heart saying otherwise.
You wake up in the morning, with the sunlight brushing through the curtains. Your body tugged in the two duvets as you miss Seungkwan by your side. He's not there anymore as you spread, stretching your body, blinking a few times to adjust the daylight.
You finally wake up to be meet at the sight of Seungkwan in sporty clothes and a coffee in his hands on your living room. "Good morning, sleepy bird" He greets as you just blank stare, not really being the morning person type like he is "I took an walk earlier, the weather is really great today" He says "I also bought you coffee, it is over the counter"
You hum, thanking him, already taking your back so you can head to the caffeine that is so much needed in your mornings routines. To the few things you get in common with your best friend, there's definitely the stubbornness and the caffeine addiction.
"Where's everyone?" You spill while walking.
"When I woke up, they weren't here either" Seungkwan affirms "I texted them, they said they were going to pick up my sisters on the train station" He completes, sliding down on the sofa, resting his head on the headboard.
You listen to him briefly, your eyes closing as soon as you take the first sip of coffee down your throat, smiling happily with the bitter taste of it. Seungkwan is looking back at you, smiling too when you open your eyes "This makes me crave something sweet" You add.
"This is the coffee shop we were talking about. They have donuts there" He says.
"We are going" You reply immediately, already running to your room "I'm going to get changed" You scream your way down the hallway.
Once you're inside and far away, you sigh in relief. Everything is going as planned.
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rxdscarf · 7 months ago
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redysetdare · 15 days ago
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I wholeheartedly believe that the last thing that should be said in response to aspecs hating their identity is "don't worry! Aspecs can still do X, Y, and Z" and I'm so fucking serious about this.
The least helpful thing you can do to someone who have not accepted their aspec identity yet is give them ways to compensate for it. If an aspec person is upset over not being able to enter a romantic relationship, the last thing that should be done is to tell them they can still enter one or instead enter a QPR - not because that's not true but because that is quite literally going to stunt their ability to accept their aspec identity. Telling them they can instead enter a QPR when they're upset over the lack of romantic relationships is at MOST a bandaid for the main issue. Instead of them coming to accept their identity and accept who they are you have instead handed them an amatonormative alternative on a silver platter that allows them to pretend they still fit into amatonormativity without every deconstructing it. This is how we get QPRs getting shoved into an amatonormative framework - these people NEVER got over the "I'm sad that I'm aspec" phase because they were handed alternatives instead of given actual support in deconstructing their internalized aphobia, self hatred, and amatonormative biases.
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bishonenspit · 10 months ago
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posting your artwork publically can be so rewarding and so motivating but most of the time it just results in psychological turmoil inflicted on yourself
#like oh my god girl help#im so sad and over my confidence to do with my art being paper thin and fragile but nothing changes no matter how much i like a piece#i hate the idea that artists only draw for interaction bc i definitely do not do that id have to be stupid to with the stuff i draw#but i also hate the idea that artists shouldn't want interaction on their work? like it's a very human emotion to want your work to be seen?#i just wish people liked my stuff more truly. im aware my style is specific and to a particular taste and ik that my work isn't the like#high flawless standard of most traditional art that gets posted. like ik that and like god i wish i had that skill level but i don't!!#i like what i do tho i just wish it felt like a lot of other people did idk maybe that's vain or something. I don't know!!#i wish i did digital art but i hate working digital lol#ppl don't believe me when i say that digital art is preferred over traditional online but i rlly believe it's true#and if your traditional art does well it's at the level of digital art flawlessness#im simultaneously like im too young to be crazy good like other people online but also im too old to be on the path to getting good. yk#i blame it on a small fandom sometimes but that's unfair bc art within small fandoms still does really well#idk i think im just a flop probably but also i think im insecure. schrodinger's online artist crisis#anyways sorry ignore this im just running my mouth don't pity reblog my shit or anything i don't want that#idk what i want but it's not that lmao#i think i want to be better at art and i want people to like my art. which i have like minimal control over.#being an artist is fun until the turmoil sets in
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theultracharmingladynoire · 2 years ago
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This has been a rant building up for a while now and I just need to put it in here but it's that. I remember the joy and excitement I felt when I watched y/o/i ep 1 - 10 because I literally. Knew nothing about the show except for the fact it was gay?? dvsjgshd but it just was so GOOD but then I. Came across a couple of interpretations of ep 11-12 (which I hadn't watched by then so I had no idea what went down) which was just people being disappointed, people thinking the ending was changed for a season 2, people thinking it was out of nowhere (especially V/ictor's comeback?? I guess??) And that really. messed up my perception of the show?? Like upto then I was forming my own interpretations of the characters and after this I. Was lowkey scared to watch the last two episodes because I was afraid of it being bad™ (if that even makes sense) and then one day even when I did watch them I didn't watch them properly?? Like I even missed a lot of scene and dialogue because I was too nervous about what I had read about it before.
And like. I don't even think those interpretations are entirely wrong for record. I understand that especially when there was a whole week between episodes and when the fandom was so huge and active people might have a very different viewing experience which directly plays into how they interpreted the character arcs! And those interpretation are extremely valid even though I disagree with them. The show definitely leaves a lot upto intrepretation of the viewers so there isn't any interpretation that is necessarily wrong™ (Idk how to phrase this sorry)
But it's just that I wasn't able to form MY own interpretation properly because I was influenced by others' ?? (In lack of a better way to word it) and I just. I've been mulling over this for a whole MONTH and going back and forth and back about the ending. And it just feels very draining when I go out to look for meta and people who had opinions similar to mine and find...like what ten people?? it kind of makes me feel like I am looking at things wrong, and that probably the finale WAS just bad or whatever (which seems to be a more common idea in what I've seen)
I do think there were pacing issues, and I do think the character arcs CAN be interpreted differently than what they are in the finale but I also am a bit sad that not many people tried to recontextualise the show in light of the finale (again, it isn't a MUST But I really wish people tried to if I am making sense?)
And it's sad because I know this can be fun if I just created my own bubble without all the meta and opinions I disagree with but it's hard when that is somehow always what I come across? And I KNOW I should stop reading a post when I see that it may suggest something towards the opinions that I disagree with (because that'll just waste my energy), but then what if I AM wrong? What if those posts are right and I am willingly closing my eye towards what the characters originally are or something?? Is what perplexes me out and really makes me sort of nervous and uneasy(?)
And now it is getting worse and I feel like I am slowly losing all the love I had for this show and it absolutely SUCKS because I just want to enjoy this silly little show and now this is all....just a mess
#N rambles#I feel like I am just repeating things at this point#I've been trying to hold back a lot from venting about this on the main because it just plainly seems like a very trivial thing to be this#upset about#But after weeks of ranting in tags I just feel I really HAVE to say this because it is actually really making me sad#Like. I thought maybe after exams I wouldn't be upset? And I was so excited to do a lot more things for the show#I was so excited and looking forward to this#Especially since I have TOO much of free time now so I also am prone to overthinking in such a situation#And I did and this just sucks and I am fed up with just overthinking and keeping all of this to myself and getting too upset#so. yeah. I still feel very bad but I also think it's probably due to a lot. Of other factors#and this one is not helping#And for one thing: I am actually really nervous about posting this because this seems to be such a dividing topic#And by no means am I saying people shouldn't have been upset - but...yeah#I just. Don't know. I really do wish I could find more people who are active and who liked the finale?? I really want to talk about#The character arcs and themes and ramble about them but there's no one to. talk about it to positively???#I also want to rewatch the show. It would actually just solve this problem but#I am low-key scared??? I don't think this would be a right time to do it because I am just really confused about this whole issue and it#Will definitely reflect in forming my own opinions and I don't want that#like at this point I just want to discuss about the finale with people who also didn't feel it was too off or ooc or something#And just tried to intrepret it in good faith#Again I don't really care about people disliking it obviously#It's just that*I* wish I could find more people who liked it#(sorry for the weird phrasing in this whole post I am trying to express what I feel but idk how to do it exactly)#Also I used the slashes because I don't want this to turn up on search sorry
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aberooski · 3 months ago
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I love Taylor. I always have and to some degree I always will. She means too much to me and is such an important figure and source of joy and light in my life when I desperately needed, and a connection to my own father that I need desperately, to deny that I will always look on her fondly to some degree as silly as that may seem sometimes and to some people.
But that doesn't mean I don't/won't/can't be critical of her or be disappointed or disagree with choices she makes or has made, because I absolutely have been and I absolutely am.
My problem is that I always, with every fiber of my being, look for and try to see the best in people and believe in people until I absolutely can't anymore. Unless it's something truly reprehensible and irredeemable, my brain simply cannot comprehend the idea that one bad decision or mistake trust me I know she's made more than one lately can automatically invalidate or negate anything and everything good a person has ever done. I've genuinely tried to understand it and unfortunately, I can't wrap my head around the concept. I give grace to a fault. I get sad when I see things said about her in a negative light even when I completely understand and even agree, because I have so much love for her in my heart. It's that tride and true naive, blind optimism in me I guess.
But I do not in any way think she's a perfect person, I know she isn't, because nobody is. Some are just better at hiding that than others. She makes mistakes, she's wrong sometimes, she is a human being who messes up. Sometimes in big ways. And unfortunately she's messed up a few times over the last year or so and that makes me sad. It disappoints me because I love her so much, and I do want and expect better of her. And in the process of that, it makes me very sad that I feel like I have to hide the facet of myself that does still love her despite my disappointment in her or risk making people upset with me now because I'm so afraid of upsetting people. I'm terrified of doing or saying the wrong things I try so hard to do the best I can every day and it's disappointing to see her slip up. It's sad. It makes me very sad.
It's a complicated time to love her right now. I hope, in my heart of hearts, I sincerely hope that sooner rather than later it won't have to be that way anymore. Not just for me, but for all of us who feel that complexity or conflict of emotions.
#I don't know I'm just talking out my ass I just have a lot of thoughts running through my head I don't really know how to articulate well#I just always want to believe the best in people I don't like to judge people I don't like to condemn people or see that happen#unless someone is truly reprehensible and deserving of condemnation and I just don't feel in my heart that she is like some people do#I don't know maybe that makes me a bad person...? sometimes I feel like there are people who would think that it does and that makes me sad#I know I keep saying I don't know but I truly don't know. I'm just tired. sometimes I wish I didn't care#but the fact of the matter is that I do. I care about people I love people I want nothing but the best for people#I want to believe the best in people and in my heart I believe that she is the person I always thought she was. someone who is good and kin#who makes mistakes but is ultimately better for them because she learns from those mistakes and grows#or maybe I just want to believe she's like me and always looks for the best in people and sees the best in people to a fault#until she can't deny the truth anymore if they're not good people.#sometimes you blind yourself to the things in people or situations that you don't want to see until it's impossible to anymore#I know because I've been there. not in the same kinds of situations granted but I've blinded myself and hurt myself so much to hang on#I've ruined my entire life holding onto the past. not wanting to move on into the stage of my life I'm actually in#and trying to stay in my childhood as long as possible when the truth is it's long gone. i can't get it back.#but I can keep her. I can keep that piece of it. and oh god I want to. I pray to god the truth of her heart is revealed#and that that truth is good. that that truth is a relief and a reassurance to those like me and many others looking for it lately#maybe I'm just being naive I guess. but dammit I want to see light on the other side no matter what. it's a blessing and a curse sometimes.#I just want people to love each other and be kind to one another and coexist with one another peacefully... that's all I want... 😔#I want people to be able to love who and what they love without shame or fear to be who they are unapologetically without shame or fear#I just want love and hope and light in this world goddammit it shouldn't be as hard as it is these days 😔#I love you all. so much. no matter what. never forget that. ❤#abby's insomnia thoughts
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creature-once-removed · 7 months ago
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neverendingford · 1 year ago
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#tag talk#maybe I'm too angry at things.#do you think I'm too angry at things?#I think I have a lot to be angry about.#I had a lot to be angry about when I was five years old and I've just been collecting since then#I think children should be allowed to be angry. and I never was. I wasn't even angry. I didn't have anger issues#or. well.. I suppose not being angry at all ever is in fact an issue. so therefore it's an anger issue.#just making up for lost time I guess. healing starts with crying and screaming and being sad and being mad#wanting to kill your parents is perhaps a healthy part of growing up I think. yeah. let's keep telling ourselves that. seems reasonable#honestly though I'm glad I never actually died because I don't wanna imagine the shit my parents would have said at my christian funeral#I need to outlive them so no one is ever tempted to pray over my fucking casket.#I wish ghosts were real cause imagine a pastor preaching at my funeral and then his head just fuckin explodes from my ghost powers#dog could you imagine? shear chaos. pure vindictive spite. Anyway I'm just Hannah Baker-ing this now huh.#shouldn't use death as an emotional weapon. sui is a heavy personal choice not a malicious little jab at people you don't like.#if you leave an argument you shouldn't stick your head back in the room to get the partying shot. leave and never think about them again#except that you can escape in real life. it's not next life or bust. there's other options. remember that. it's not just one way of escape#oh I just realized why I feel this way. my dad's coming over with furniture shit. that's why I'm mad as hell rn. hhhh this too will pass.#unpleasantly. but it'll pass nonetheless.
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gate653 · 1 year ago
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Really really wish I knew how to get better at art.
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fxllfaiiry · 1 year ago
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─ you're the sunflower ੈ✩‧₊˚
✶ pairing: miguel o'hara x fem!reader
✶ synopsis: everyone on the team loves you, expect miguel who seems to hate you more than anyone.
✶ warnings: angst!! major angst. sunshine!reader x grumpy!miguel. reader is nicknamed sunflower, mentions of death.
✶ notes: there's one spanish sentence in this, I'm not good with spanish so if I've made a mistake please tell me so i can fix it! part two is already up!!!
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Everyone on the team loved you from the moment you joined, everyone, except Miguel. 
You knew Miguel was cold towards everyone, but he was extra cold with you. Maybe it was because of how different your personalities were. 
You were the embodiment of sunshine, always positive in any situation, putting others before yourself. Hence why everyone calls you sunflower, it fits perfectly, Miles was proud of coming up with it. 
Miguel on the other hand was cold and distant but that didn't stop you from trying to get him to open up. You'd try to have simple conversations with him but nothing, all you would receive in reply was an eye roll or a slight grunt, but you wouldn't give up that easily. 
Like today, you got him some coffee. 
"Morning, boss. Got you some coffee." You said in your usual cheerful tone. 
"Why?" He raised his eyebrows, looking down at you suspiciously. That's the most he's said to you all week. 
"Because I wanted to." You shrugged, placing it down on his desk. 
He steped down walking towards his desk, you couldn't help but stare at him, unfortunately for you, everything about him was so attractive, it's such a shame he hated you. 
"This isn't how I like my coffee." 
"Huh?" You snapped out of your daydream at the sound of his voice. 
"The coffee, it tastes terrible. Get it from another place next time." 
"Well, actually I made it-" But he had already walked away from you not listening to a word you said. "Alright, never mind, I'll just go back to work." You mumbled hurt by his words. 
"Wait, hold on." You looked up, thinking, maybe he'll say something nice after all. 
"Yeah?" 
"Take the coffee with you, I won't be drinking it." 
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
"Girl, why do you look so sad? Did Miguel do something again?" Jess asked with a frown, she did not like seeing you sad. 
"No."
"Sunflower…"
"Okay, yes." Miguel being cold towards you was normal, he never spoke to you unless necessary. Out of everyone here, he probably hated you the most, even more than Miles.  
"Sunflower, I've told you to stop trying." Jess sighed. 
"I know, I know… why does he hate me so much, Jess?" 
"That's just the way he is, don't overthink it. It's his loss, baby." She replied, gently patting your shoulder. 
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
Today was going to be a good day, you were so sure of it. 
But, of course, you were wrong. 
Everything was going great up until a few hours ago. 
Miguel had assigned you on a mission to catch an anomaly, alongside a few other spider-people. His instructions were clear, stick to the plan and catch the anomaly. It was supposed to be simple. 
If only you didn't disobey him. You screwed up badly, and because of that, you could have been killed. 
"Why don't you ever listen?" Miguel shouted. No one had ever seen him this angry. 
"I was just tryin-" 
"¡Ay, por el amor de Dios!" Being yelled at by your boss in front of your coworkers was humiliating, everyone was looking at you with pity. 
"I'm sick of this, why can’t you follow simple instructions? Is it that hard to understand?" He barked, towering over you. 
"It's not a big deal." You tried to keep your composure, you didn't want to humiliate yourself further by bursting into tears. 
"Not a big deal? You could've died! A simple mistake would have ruined the whole mission." 
Don't cry. Don't cry. 
"But we're all fine, aren't we?" You weakly chuckled. That was the wrong thing to say because it only made him angrier. 
"Oh? If that's the attitude you have then you shouldn't even be on the team." Ouch. 
"Miguel, I think that's enough-" Hobie said, quickly jumping in. 
"Not now, Hobie." He growled. 
Never once did you think that you'd be in a situation like this. 
"If you put more focus on trying to be good at your job, rather than impressing me, we wouldn't even be here!" Oh, so he did notice that. 
At this point, tears were streaming freely down your face and you made no attempt to stop them. 
"Yep, you got it, boss." You smiled up at him through your tears. It was pathetic, but you did not care, you just wanted to leave and never come back. 
"Next time make sure this doesn't happen." 
"It won't happen next time." That's because there won't be a next time.
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cheapshrimpysheep · 4 months ago
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Sharing a Bed
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SUMMARY: When they built the bungalow, they couldn't make an individual bedroom for each person. Or a bed for each person. So, they'll have to choose the person with whom they will share the room... and the bed. And the boy you're secretly dating ends up paired up with you in one of those beds.
CHARACTERS: Riddle Rosehearts; Ace Trappola; Jack Howl; Azul Ashengrotto; Floyd Leech; Lilia Vanrouge
TAGS: Fluff; GN Reader; Flirting; Kiss; Beginning of Relationship
WARNING: Spoilers from Stitch's Tropical Turbulence (JP: Lost in the Book with Stitch ~Midsummer Sea and Spaceship~)
WORD COUNT: An average of 920 words per character.
COMMENTS: Okay, after reading it a second time, what I think Jack meant was: Since they couldn't make individual rooms for everyone, they made one living room big enough for everyone instead. But that's not what I understood the first time, and the way I understood it was more interesting for me to write something about :3
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CONTEXT: You two are at the beginning of your relationship and no one knows. Let's also say that Floyd didn't use the back door for the bonfire.
They couldn't make individual rooms in the Bungalow or single beds. They only got materials to make 3 beds big enough for 2 people to sleep in each. And 3 bedrooms where they placed each of the beds. Which meant that 6 people could sleep in pairs on the beds, Grim and Stitch were small enough to sleep well on the couch/armchairs and 1 person had to sleep in the living room with them, maybe on the couch too. And someone comments about you and Grim being a package deal.
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Riddle was the first to say that you shouldn't sleep on the couch just because you usually sleep in the same room as Grim.
You should sleep in a bed and, like the gentleman he is, he offered to sleep on the couch instead, more concerned with your well-being than with the possible jealousy he could feel depending on who you slept next to.
“Objection!” Lilia said playfully. Riddle looked at him in surprise. “I should be the one sleeping on the couch. After all, I can easily sleep in a cave and I'm small enough to fit comfortably on the couch. You guys should have the beds. A good night's sleep is important for growth.” He smiled. Riddle may or may not realize it, but Lilia did this mostly for the two of you.
“So how do we divide ourselves between the beds?” Jack asked.
“Firstly, you shouldn't sleep with people you don't feel comfortable with.” Riddle said. He, Jack, and Ace looked mostly at Floyd, but also at Azul.
“Those looks directed at us after such advice are quite hurtful.” Azul says with his performative sadness. “But, Riddle, can I ask why you said you instead of us?” he asks with a smirk.
Riddle couldn't hide his caught reaction. And he's not the type to make excuses, so he was sincere: “In fact, that slipped from me.” he said, slightly blushing “The truth is, I hoped I could be paired with [Y/N].” he looks at you “If you're comfortable with that too, of course.”
You say that you are, and with two shy smiles directed at each other, your pair is decided. The other pairs were Ace with Jack and Azul with Floyd. Both Jack and Ace didn't want to be with either of the other two and Ace used the excuse that Azul and Floyd had known each other for a long time to justify the pairings.
❤️ Bungalow - Yours and Riddle's Bedroom ❤️
He let you in first and closed the door behind him. When you look at him, you realize that he is thinking about something, something that troubles or bothers him. You ask if everything is okay.
“I... I know I was the one who invited you to share the room with me... but...” You ask sadly if he wanted to exchange with someone else. “No, no, no! It’s not that. I will always choose you. I even did it without thinking... and maybe that was the problem... I...” he blushed a little. “I didn't want you... to sleep with anyone else. Although at first I offered to sleep on the sofa, which would consequently mean that you would have to share the bed with someone other than me. *Sigh* Why can't I think straight?” he whispers to himself. “Sorry, I'm straying from the initial question. What bothers me is... I'm sure I'm breaking a rule.”
You ask what rule. You wonder if it could be any Heartslabyul rule? Or maybe from the Queendom of Roses? Or could it be...?
“I think it would fit into a rule of etiquette. My mother is completely against this. We are no longer mere acquaintances, or just friends. These types of things cannot happen before...”
“Marriage?” You ask. He blushes again.
“I know it's too early and we're too young to talk about this but... yes...” You say that if he feels more comfortable swapping with someone else... “NO! That's out of the question! I'm not going to force you to sleep on a sofa and WHOEVER SLEEPS WITH YOU I WILL HAVE THEIR-!” He stutter, and clear his throat. “I mean... this is the best option.” He's embarrassed for shouting in front of you. “My apologies for that.”
You reassure him that it is okay. He wasn't yelling AT you and you know he's still learning to control his anger. You say that all rules have exceptions, and in cases like these, on a desert island where it is already lucky that there are beds, perhaps they are exceptions to certain rules. Sometimes the rules of survival override the rules of etiquette. Maybe if he thinks he's not breaking a rule, but following its exception.
He thinks for a moment “You are right. If we think about it this way, it is also against the rules of etiquette to eat with your hands, but it is foolish to try to impose it when there are no conditions for it. Yes, you are right, we must prioritize our well-being and health.” There's a cute and awkward pause “Um, do you have a preference for the side?”
If you have a preference, he will sleep on the other side, if not and one side is closer to the door, he will sleep on that side. If you ask why this choice, he will say that the most protective person in the relationship is often on the side closest to the door in order to be able to protect their significant other against intruders.
As soon as you lie down and get ready for bed, you might be surprised by how naturally Riddle kisses you on the cheek. “Good night, my rose.” If you look at him, you will see a sweet smile and caring eyes looking back at you.
If you want to return the kiss you can do it on his cheek as well. Lips are still reserved for special occasions only. And he'll press his forehead to yours, your noses almost touching for a moment before you finally turn over to sleep. And if you open your eyes while he's doing it, you'll see the loving glow in his eyes.
You begin to sleep separately and perhaps even in different directions, but sleep and dreams are revealing. Eventually you will begin to unconsciously move closer to each other, until he has his arms around you and your head is resting close to his chest.
If you wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of one of Gantu's robots outside, Riddle won't even process the fact that you're suddenly so close. He goes straight from sleepy mode to protective mode on instinct. His gaze will be completely focused on the closed window and you will feel his arms moving you closer to him. If you make a sound, he'll put a finger to your mouth and whisper a calm shh.
Only after the robot leaves will he realize how he is hugging you. His face will immediately turn red from the blushing and he will move slightly away from you apologizing.
If you show yourself comfortable being so close to him and even more protected, he will end up giving in and letting you continue sleeping together as you were. You will definitely hear his heart beating fast until he finally manages to relax and fall asleep again.
After that, you will start to get used to sleeping like this. He will always wake up before you and wake you up with a kiss on the forehead. “Good morning~ Did you sleep well?”
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“Hey, [Y/N] shouldn't stay on the couch just because Grim is going to be in the living room.” Ace says. “At least it doesn't seem fair to me.” he looks at Riddle hoping he would share the same opinion.
“Surprisingly I have to agree with Ace.” Riddle says.
“See? Wait... what do you mean surprisingly?”
“The person who will sleep on the sofa” Riddle continues, ignoring Ace's observation. “should be chosen taking into account who is least likely to have problems sleeping well on it compared to others. This also includes not having a stature too large to fit.”
Everyone looked at Lilia. Who looked behind him as a joke.
“Kehehe. Of course, I have no problem sleeping on the couch. It even looks quite cozy from my point of view. Furthermore I'm going to have two really fun roommates.” Lilia smiled, Stitch smiled back and Grim said something about him being a great roommate. The others looked at you for a moment when he said that to see your reaction.
“So who will be the pairs for the beds?” Floyd asked. “Hey kingyo-chan~ do you want to stay with me?”
“I'd rather sleep on the floor.” Riddle answers. Floyd laughs because he already predicted that.
“Dibs on pairing with [Y/N]!” Ace hurried to say.
“Aw, koebi-chan was my next choice.” Floyd comments.
Seeing his options, Riddle asks if Jack would mind pairing with him. As Jack respects him a lot, he says he doesn't mind and his tail starts to wag, slightly honored that Riddle shows some trust in him. Azul and Floyd end up paired up with each other.
❤️ Bungalow - Yours and Ace's Bedroom ❤️
As soon as you two enter the room and Ace closes the door, he picks you up playfully. And he even tells you not to make any noise as he laughs softly. He takes a few steps and lays you down on the bed.
“So, do you have a favourite side or do I choose?” You or he chooses sides and you lie down. “Ahh~ Finally something that isn't the floor of a cave to sleep in~” he says next to you.
And then you remember something: It wasn't the first time Ace suggested you two sleep in the same bed. The first time was when the riddle locked a collar around he's neck for the first time and he had to sleep in Ramshackle Dorm. And the second was when Azul got Ramshackle Dorm and you had to find another dorm to sleep in. Before going to Savanaclaw, Ace suggested you sleep with him when they commented that Heartslabyul didn't have extra beds. So you comment that he finally got the sleepover he wanted so much.
“Hmm? What do you mean?” He asks. You remind him about the first time he came to sleep in your dorm. “Well, in that case I just didn't want to sleep on the couch. But you made me sleep in it anyway.” he looks at you with a sulking face, and then a smirk. “You know, now that I think about it, maybe I should have let you sleep on the couch. So we were even.”
Then you ask why he didn't try to do that when you were left without your dorm. That was the second time he suggested sharing a bed. And you caught him by surprise for a second.
“Hmm... well... Do you think the Housewarden would let that happen? I can even imagine myself losing my mind over the audacity of being so rude to a visitor. Or Queen of Hearts knows what dorm rule that would break.”
If you remembered correctly, he suggested sharing a bed AFTER Jack offered to shelter you in Savanaclaw.
“And yet you chose Savanaclaw.” he sulks cutely again. “And slept in Leona's room.” he murmured.
You say something like: “Aw, is this jealousy~?” And he rolls over, facing away from you. You get closer to him, saying that he doesn't need to be jealous, and nothing happened, Leona also only did that because he was forced in a way and you needed a place to stay.
“That's why I slept with Deuce.” He tells you. You exclaim a surprised "WHAT?!" and he turns to grab you and make you lie down clinging to him.
“Got ya!” he laughs. “And keep your voice down, remember?” He whispers. “You really fall for it? Ha ha. You should know me better than this.”
He yawns, which makes you yawn too.
“I'm really tired. We should just sleep. You don't mind if we sleep like this, do you~?”
They complained about the heat outside , but inside the bungalow, at night, it's actually a little cool. So it's kinda comfortable to sleep almost hugging each other. So no, you don't mind. Quite the opposite. He kiss you good night, and you two fall asleep.
In the following nights, there are chances that you two make out a little there before going to sleep, if your not too tired. He will never wake up grumpy, because every time he hears the sound of the waves and sees you lying next to him, he realizes that this is the best vacation ever.
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Jack wasted no time in speaking his mind: “I don't think [Y/N] should sleep on the couch just because Grim is staying in the living room.”
“Fufufu... Why? Do you think [Y/N] should sleep with you instead?” Lilia asked with a smirk to tease him.
Jack blushed a lot! “Wha-! NO! That wasn't why-” He put his hand on the back of his head. “I mean, I wouldn't mind, but I was just thinking that it's not fair for them to sleep on the couch just because of Grim. We should take into consideration whether [Y/N] have trouble falling asleep here or not.”
“I agree with Jack” Riddle said. “In fact, we must take into account each person's needs in something as important as rest. I believe you would agree as well, Lilia.”
“Yes, you boys are right.” Lilia said with a smile. “In that case, I volunteer to stay on the couch. From what I saw in the cave, I'm the one who has the least problems sleeping.”
“Mendako-chan could sleep on a battlefield, hehehe.” Floyd comments. Lilia also laughs at this observation.
“So...” Jack turns to you, still slightly blushing. “Now that you don't have to sleep on the couch, would you like to pairing with me?” As soon as you say yes, or whisper something like "of course, silly" his tail starts wagging.
“Well, we already know who the first pair for the beds is.” Lilia comments when he sees Jack's tail moving wildly from side to side. He tries to make it stop and you see his ears lower in embarrassment.
Seeing his options, Riddle asks if Ace would mind pairing with him. And also analyzing his options, Ace says he doesn't mind. They are even from the same dorm, maybe it would even be better to pair up like that, you know? Being in the same dorm, people are more comfortable with each other, right? (They got it, Ace)
💛 Bungalow - Yours and Jack's Bedroom 💛
As soon as the two of you enter the room and Jack closes the door, he will ask if you have a preference for which side of the bed you sleep on. When you look at him, you see that he is still trying to contain the wagging of his tail. You remind him that he doesn't need to do that when it's just the two of you.
“Oh!, Ya, force of habit I guess.” And so he lets his tail wag freely. Fortunately there is no furniture or objects that it can hit.
If you have a preference for the side of the bed you want to sleep on, he will sleep on the other side, if not and one side is closer to the door, he will sleep on that side. If you ask why this choice, he will say that he heard that the most protective person in the relationship is often on the side closest to the door in order to be able to protect their significant other against intruders.
“I feel like the weather gets cooler now at night. That’s good.” Jack comments.
In fact, it's nice to rest with cool nights after spending active days in the heat of the beach, and you tell him something like this.
“Y-ya. That to...” He rubs the back of his neck, and you ask what he was thinking then. “Well, I was thinking... about this wolf thing...” he blushes a little “I think you've already noticed that, like wolves, wolf beastmen couples are also quite affectionate.” He can’t look at you right now because he can feel the way you’re looking at him. And so, looking at you will only make him blush even more. “And there's this thing...” he inhales to gain more courage to speak and sighs. “We like to cuddle and sleep together ok...” This is very difficult to admit for a Tsundere at the beginning of a relationship, especially for someone who is not a beast(wo)man.
You probably laugh at how cute he looks when he's so flustered. You ask if that's why he's happy that it getting colder at night. Because if it was too hot you wouldn't be able to sleep cuddled together. He confirms.
“From your laugh and smile, can I guess that you would like that too?” He smiles confidently, his tail wagging.
You open your arms showing that you do, and he wastes no time in hugging you and laying you down in bed with him. He also doesn't wait to start caressing your face with his nose and giving you soft kisses on your cheeks. He tries to control his tail so it doesn't hit anything and make noise.
The first time he kisses your lips will be to say goodnight, but if he's not tired enough yet, this won't be the only goodnight kiss before you fall asleep in each other's arms.
He will always be the first to wake up and wake you up. You will always wake up with his arms around you and a passionate kiss on your cheek. And with him always trying to convince you to get up and not be tempted to stay in bed late. He wants to spend another day with you, for as long as possible.
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“Oh, poor [Y/N]” Azul comments. “Being forced to sleep on the couch just because of their companion. That doesn't seem like a very fair deal to me.” He says with a smirk.
“Despite the tone of moral superiority, Azul is right.” Riddle says. “It's not like Grim needs someone to watch over him at night. Or so I hope.”
“Of course not! I'm not a baby!” Grim complains. “I can sleep in a separate room from [Y/N]. The question is: can my hench-human sleep away from me?”
“Ah, I believe [Y/N] will certainly be in good company.” Azul comments, and before anyone could question what he had just said, he continued. “The person who will sleep on the couch should be chosen taking into account who is least likely to have problems sleeping well on it compared to others. This also includes having a physical size that makes them feel comfortable on a couch.”
Everyone looked at Lilia. Who looked behind him as a joke.
“Kehehe. Of course, I have no problem sleeping on the couch. It even looks quite cozy from my point of view. Furthermore I'm going to have two really fun roommates.” Lilia smiled, Stitch smiled back and Grim said something about him being a great roommate. The others looked at you for a moment when he said that to see your reaction.
“So who will be the pairs for the beds?” Floyd asked. “Hey kingyo-chan~ do you want to stay with me?”
“I'd rather sleep on the floor.” Riddle answers. Floyd laughs because he already predicted that.
“Well, in that case. Koebi-chan~?”
“Sorry Floyd, but I don't think so.” Azul answers, with a smile but a cunning look.
“Oh ya?” Floyd was also smiling with cunning eyes. “And why don't you let Koebi-chan answer for themself?”
“For sure. I was just trying to soften your rejection.” He gives Floyd one last smug smile before turning to you. “Tell me [Y/N], would you like to sleep next to Floyd or next to me?” You reply that you would like to sleep next to Azul.
“He he. I already knew it.” Floyd says with a genuinely amused expression. “I just wanted to see how Azul would react.” And before anyone could question those phrases, he turns to the other three and asks: “So what will the other pairs be?” With a smile knowing that he is creating a fun chaos.
Riddle, Ace and Jack look at each other. One of them will have to share a bed with Floyd.
“Ace!” Riddle says. “You should be the one paired with Floyd.”
“Wha-?! Why me?!”
“Because firstly, the bed wouldn't have much free space if either of you were paired with Jack. And secondly, you and Floyd are basketball teammates, you must get along well enough right?”
“You just don't want to be the one to pair with him and because you're my Housewarden you're ordering-” He stopped when he saw Riddle starting to get angry. “I mean, yes, of course, those are excellent arguments. You're absolutely right, Housewarden!”
Meanwhile, Floyd laughs with amusement.
💜 Bungalow - Yours and Azul's Bedroom 💜
Azul enters after you and closes the door. He sighs when he sees how simple the room is. “If we weren't in these circumstances, I would have found a luxury resort for us.”
You tell him that he has nothing to worry about, that despite everything, the others managed to make the room cozy and pleasant. And what matters most to you is being in it with him. He smiles, puts one hand on your waist and caresses your cheek with the other.
“Always seeing the bright side, my pearl.” He gives you a tender kiss on the lips. “Now, tell me, do you have a preference for the side of the bed where you would like to sleep?”
You lie down side by side.
“I am so glad we get to sleep under a proper roof tonight.”
“Azul...” You ask. “Would you really leave us on the island if none of us made a deal with you?”
“Of course not, darling.” He turns on himself to face you. “But I'm a businessman. And what kind would I be if I didn't take advantage of any business opportunity?”
You make a muffled sound, not liking his response that much. He comes closer to you. “I wouldn't do anything like I used to, I promise. Maybe I'd only have them working at Mostro Lounge for a week or so. And no anemones on their heads to force them to obey me, I swear.” He was smiling slyly saying this.
You look away from him, rolling your eyes. “I repented.” With a gentle finger on your chin he makes you look at him again, he looks into your eyes lovingly. “Seen the light, made a switch. I would never leave you on a desert island. Even if I had to turn you into a merfolk to do so.” He smiled. “I wonder how you would look like.”
“And the others?” You ask.
“Hum? I wasn't thinking about them, but I'm also curious to know what they would be like in mer-form, yes.” He answewrs. You laugh and say no,that that wasn't what you were asking. He sighs. “Fine, fine... I wouldn't leave any of them on a desert island.” He says, partly in admission, partly to make you happy.
But then his smile fades for a moment. He caresses your face again.
“I hope you're not like that with everyone. Not everyone deserves such benevolence. You and your tender disposition will only be taken advantage if you let them.” You could see the concern in his eyes.
You assure him that you know it, and that you're not like that with everyone. They were your friends, it was different and he knew it. He smiles fondly.
“I wonder what kind of deal we made to have someone like you in our lives. And mainly...” He brings his lips closer to yours. “...what I did to have you for myself.” and you kiss.
You will always wake up with his arms around you. You're between him and the window because he's going to use you to hide his face from the light while he's in the process of waking up. But as soon as he's more awake, he'll kiss you good morning and start the day with you.
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“Koebi-chan and I pair up to sleep in one of the beds. Now you guys fight to see who gets to stay on the couch.” Floyd decides with an amused smile, completely ignoring any comments about you usually sleeping in the same room as Grim.
“HOLD ON!” Riddle says. “You can't just decide something like that without the other person's consent!”
The truth is that since you were dating, Floyd assumes that you would like to take advantage of that opportunity to share a room with him. But since no one else knows about it yet, he plays along. He also likes that your relationship is still a secret to see the confusion on other people's faces in situations like these.
“Okay~ Hey Koebi-chan, do you want to share the room with me~?”
You say yes, clearly of your own free will, which reassures Riddle and the others. And in that case, they will have to decide the pairs for the beds and who sleeps on the couch.
Ace suggests choosing at random, like whoever draws the shortest straw stays on the couch, and Azul is the first to go against this suggestion. Riddle is the second.
“I volunteer to stay on the couch.” Lilia said with a smile. “From what I saw in the cave, I'm the one who has the least problems sleeping.”
“Mendako-chan could sleep on a battlefield, hehehe.” Floyd comments. Lilia also laughs at this observation.
“Furthermore I'm going to have two really fun roommates.” Lilia smiled at Stitch, who smiled back, and at Grim, who said something about him being a great roommate. The others looked at you for a moment when he said that to see your reaction.
Of all three, Riddle was the least uncomfortable pairing with Azul. So they formed a pair and the other two freshmen formed another.
💜 Bungalow - Yours and Floyd's Bedroom 💜
You two enter the room, Floyd closes the door and goes directly to lie down on the bed. Taking up the whole bed.
“So, what do you think of our room? Pretty cool, han?” In fact, the room was decorated with very beautiful, sparkling seashells. They were all sorts of colors: orange, red, purple, green, pink, white. And they look like painted porcelain.
“So you also like dead shellfish?” He says. “Kingyo-chan and Uni-chan too. They were fawning over these shells when we found this spot. It was fun to see their faces when most of the shells they had collected started moving on their own. They had picked up hermit crabs without realizing it. I told them to leave the pretty spiral ones alone and pick out the flat, practical ones to use them as plates. And when we were working on the bungalow I went to where they had left the shells and used them to decorate the room. Just a warning, don't scream too loud if one of these corpses is still alive and pokes your leg at night~”
He laughs looking at your reaction. “Exciting, isn't it?” You complain, saying you want to sleep peacefully. “Fine, fine, I was just kidding. Do you think I don't know how to tell the difference between seashells?” You say that, precisely for this reason, he could put a hermit crab in your room on purpose. “Hahahaha. You know me too well, Koebi-chan. But nah, that crab could poke me at night and I don't want that either.”
You were still standing, looking at him with his arms and legs spread out like a starfish taking up the entire bed.
“Won't you go to lie down with me?” He asks with a smirk.
“Where?” you ask “You're taking up the whole bed.”
“Here!” He attacks you with a hug and forces you to lie down in his arms. He squeezes you affectionately, and without hurting you, of course. He yawns. “And? Where is my reward for making such a pretty room for us~?” He asks with inviting lips very close to yours.
You kiss him and feel him reciprocating lazily, but sweetly.
“And for being one of the people who built the bungalow?” You kiss him again. “And for making such a good dinner?” and again. “And the bonfire was also a good idea, wasn't it?” and again “And didn't ya like my music?” and he will continue to remind you of things for you to pay him back with kisses until he simply gets tired and you two just make out until you fall asleep.
When he wakes up in a good mood and excited about the day, he can pick you up and force you to get up too. If he wakes up feeling sleepy and wants to stay in bed longer, he won't take his arms away from you, forcing you to continue being his bodypillow until he's in the mood to get up.
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And that someone who commented about you and Grim being a package deal was none other than Lilia himself. And yes, you were shocked. Was he going to miss an opportunity like this?
And unfortunately for you, everyone agreed. You even fit well on the couch. And during that whole time Lilia had his usual smile as if nothing had happened.
“So who will be the pairs for the beds then?” Floyd asked.
“Why don't the two of us pair up, Floyd?” Lilia suggested “I'm sure it will be fun.”
“Okay~”
Everyone else looks relieved, even Azul. And while the remaining four decided on their pairings, you looked at Lilia for a moment. And, knowing that no one else was looking at you two, his smile became sly, he winked at you and put on his innocent smile back again.
The pairs ended up being Azul and Riddle, and Ace and Jack, since neither of these two wanted to be paired with Azul and, despite everything, Riddle didn't mind.
That night, you lie down on the couch. Both Grim and Stitch curl up to sleep. You curl up to get comfortable and close your eyes to fall asleep.
You had already fallen asleep when you felt something touch your nose and a familiar voice whispering "Boop". You open your eyes and see Lilia lying next to you, smiling. Wait... lying on your side? But the couch doesn't have that much space. Your vision adapts and you see that you are no longer on the couch, but on the bed in one of the rooms.
💚 Bungalow - Yours and Lilia's Bedroom 💚
“Fufufu. Surprised?” He could see that in your face.
You ask him how, what, when...? He laughs.
“I knew that none of them would want to sleep on the sofa, and that the chances of me being chosen to sleep on it, if we got to that point, were too high for I had an easier time sleeping wherever it was.” His look becomes sly, like the one he gave you while the others were deciding the pairings. “But if you were the one sleeping on the couch, I could find a way to get the person I was paired with to switch with you. Octavinelle students love deals and I would have an easier time getting a deal like this with Floyd than with Azul. After making sure he was in a good mood for it of course. Which is also very easy for me. I mean, who would be in a bad mood in the company of someone as adorable and fun as me?” He rests his chin on his hands and gives you his cutest smile to prove his point.
You ask him what deal they made and he smiles slyly again.
“Don't worry, my dear. It takes more than a intelligent teenager with mood swings to outsmart me. And let's say that Azul can be more difficult to convince.” There is a short pause. “I hope you can forgive me for waking you up. You looked so cute sleeping, but I really wanted to surprise you. Did you like it?”
You did! But you still tell him how you felt when you were deciding who slept where.
“You know the saying: All's fair in love and war. Of course I wasn't going to miss an opportunity like this, but I had to make sure we stayed together. And knowing my opponents and who my best allies would be, I knew this would be my best strategy.”
You still seem not completely convinced, or at least you pretend you're not.
“Aww... don't do this to poor old me~” He says dramatically “You can't imagine how hard it was for me to see your disappointed face when you were chosen to sleep on the sofa. My heart sank as much as seeing a companion injured in combat next to me. But we needed to be strong if we want to end up together!”
You laugh to see him act so melodramatically. He holds both of your hands, and looks deeply into your eyes, with a mix of a sweet smile and a smirk.
“And now that we're safe in each other's arms, maybe we can heal our wounded hearts.” And if you allow him, he will kiss your lips.
He will always wake you up with a kiss or by bopping your nose. And if you feel lazy he will force you to get up by being cutely annoying. Even if he has to hold you in his arms to do so. C'mon, the days are beautiful and he can enjoy the beach with you, he wants to enjoy every second before it ends.
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If you would like to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX
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hussyknee · 4 months ago
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Wonder how far I can prod libs into finishing their full thought bubble behind all this "harm reduction" "genocide is a single issue" "you don't care about marginalized people in the US" "dyou want fascism WITH genocide???" screeching.
Okay, class, say it with me: "I don't want to live in a third world country like the ones we keep destroying."
Because you know. The countries your war criminal leaders keep bombing and starving and destabilising and leeching dry? We don't have trans or gay rights or women's rights or disability benefits or environmental or labour protections. No one would want to live in our countries obviously. You'd kill yourselves before you had to live like we do. Sure, we're only like this because you keep us trapped in poverty and violence and we still have full, happy lives worth living despite it but that's because we're used to it! We don't know any better! Not like you! You know what you deserve and you shouldn't have to lose anything as a consequence of your own political choices! Your government is supposed to happen to other people! Not you! So like, yeah, it's bad that the poors are being massacred wholesale or whatever, but like. That doesn't mean you gotta die with them, y'know? And by "death" you don't mean actual genocide like what's happening over here but "death" as in "having to live like we do".
The trolley problem metaphor is so goddamn attractive to you because you see yourself outside the tracks, objectively assessing the situation and making the "tough" "moral" choice for the collective good. It's imperialist horseshit. You don't have a democracy and it's not a trolley. What you have is an imperial death machine running on an apartheid system that decides who gets fed to it and who gets fed by it. That's your "two tracks"— the colonized and the colonizer, the core and the periphery, the white and the coloured. "Harm reduction"? Have you counted how many fucking millions in and around the world your death machine eats to keep how many of you "safe"? But our losses are a foregone conclusion, a matter of course, a regrettable necessity. The only variable is yours.
Every political choice in 200 years of your settler colony has been "genocide AND". "Genocide AND women's rights". "Genocide AND workers rights". "Genocide AND fascism". "Genocide AND democracy". The difference is that for the first time in your history you're now watching it livestreamed to the entire world in real time 24/7, exactly as your colony is about to capsize under the weight of its own bloodlust. A sea change from when your parents threw parties watching bombs dropping on Baghdad and then spent twenty years watching movies about sad it made the soldiers.
How do you count the victims when we are numbers and you are people? You scream about trans rights in the US while Palestinian trans children don't have the right to reach puberty. OSHA for you but Congolese children have to die in mines. Reproductive rights for the US while Sudanese women are raped in millions. Yes, but it's always been "genocide AND" no matter what, right? Do we want to sabotage the party that has never fucking cared about us and don't now even with half their own country screaming at them on the off-chance they might possibly maybe one day do?? Why are we acting so mad like it's YOUR fault that you're fighting for your quality of life over our corpses?? Do we want YOU to lose your rights over it??
Yes, actually. We do. We want you to have a taste of the reality that generations on generations of your illegal illegitimate white supremacist occupation has inflicted on us just so your worthless hide can sit there and call our genocides a single fucking issue. And let's be real: that's what you're so fucking afraid of.
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pomefioredove · 2 months ago
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*ੈ✩‧₊˚ so, you've been isekai'd into a romance novel...
type of post: blurbs characters: trey, vil, lilia additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is not specified to be yuu, kissing in vil's part, lilia's is a little suggestive, I can't help myself, not proofread author's note: I've wanted to do an isekai thing for a while, and I do love a good plot twist ;3
So, you've been isekai'd into a romance novel.
The only way to get home? You have to play the part of the protagonist until the novel ends.
There's just one problem, though: you're not into the love interest.
Not at all.
What's worse: you're starting to fall for a side character.
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➼ His Best Friend
You started dozing off while your friend was helping you write an essay.
It was for one of those old romance novels about rich people in the English countryside, and you couldn't stand it. You knew you were going to fail when you fell asleep in your chair, thinking that you'd just cram the next day, except...
...Instead of your room, you wake up on a picturesque hill, inside the book you'd been studying.
You hear someone shouting, and you stand. There's a boy coming towards you, yelling a name you don't-
Oh, oh no.
That's the protagonist's name. Which means that can only be-
"There you are!" Riddle Rosehearts, the love interest of the novel, storms up to you.
"Your friends have been worried sick, you know! We've been looking everywhere! You've embarrassed me in front of the entire county!"
You blink, trying to remember what your friend had told you about this book:
The shouting boy, Riddle, is the love interest. Your love interest.
But it doesn't start out the way- in the beginning, he and the protagonist cannot stand each other. He's hotheaded, strict, and has no interest in love. Over the course of the book, the protagonist teaches him to let go and enjoy life, and blah blah blah...
...Yeah, you have no interest in doing any of that. "Enemies to lovers" isn't really your cup of tea.
But if it's the only way out... you can pretend.
"I... fell asleep," you say. This only seems to make Riddle more frustrated.
"You will come back at once, and apologize to my house and to my guests. Else it'll be off with your head!"
He turns and begins marching back to the estate. You roll your eyes and follow him. You're going to have to put up with this for months?
Well... maybe not.
He leads you through the back door, not wanting to "upset the guests any further", and tells you to wait for him in the kitchen.
Great. Just great.
You watch Riddle straighten his tie and walk into the parlor to speak with the guests, prim and proper as ever. Eye roll.
The door opens- not the door to the parlor, but the one you'd just come from. You turn with a curious look.
"Oh!" another boy says. "I apologize, I wasn't... expecting anyone."
After a moment, it hits you- this is the love interest's sensible childhood friend, so unimportant in the plot that he was cut from the movie adaptation entirely.
You raise an eyebrow. "No, it's alright. Beats getting yelled at,"
He blinks, confused by your wording, and then smiles. You know you shouldn't be thinking these things, but it's sort of cute. What was his name, again?
"Ah... I suppose Riddle found you, then?"
"You suppose correctly,"
"Heh," he crosses his arms. "I apologize on his behalf. He was just... worried."
Wonderful. This is the part where he tells the protagonist about the love interest's sad backstory, isn't it?
"I don't really want to talk about him right now," you say. "Honestly, I'd rather hear more about you."
His smile falters, and he seems a little... well, taken aback. As if no one has ever asked him about himself.
"I... I suppose we haven't been properly introduced, have we?" he mutters, adjusting his glasses in nervous habit. You remember reading that. It was cute.
"My name is Trey Clover. My family owns the bakery in town, but I'm afraid it's not as glamorous as this."
He means the Rosehearts' manor. You could care less about that.
"You bake?"
"...I do," Trey says. "You eat?"
It's a stupid joke, but it makes you smile.
You nod, and he goes back outside, returning with a basket.
"These are for the guests..." he says, taking a pastry out of the basket. "...But they won't notice if one is missing."
You accept the treat. "Rulebreaker, are you?"
Trey's face flushes, but he laughs it off.
"Certainly not. Rule-breaking is a dangerous pastime in this household,"
And yet, he did it for you.
You smile back.
Suddenly, Riddle's temper isn't going to be the only difficult thing about playing this part...
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➼ His Rival
With a movie adaptation on the way and a permanent spot on the bestseller's list, you had great expectations for this little book.
You'd heard nothing but praise. Even your family members had recommended it to you, saying that it was right up your alley, and they thought you'd love it.
So, finally, you buy the book (which is WAY too expensive), make yourself a warm drink, get cozy in bed, and...
And... it's terrible. It's completely unrealistic! It's downright boring!
Disappointed, you put it down, turn off the light, and try to sleep it off.
Try to, because you wake up disgruntled and groggy, and not in your bed. In fact, you're not in a bed at all.
"There you are!" a voice comes from above you.
You look to see a short, panicked lavender-haired boy. "Where have you been?! You're on in five!"
You rub your eyes. "Huh?"
"Didja hit your head or 'somethin? If we don't get you back on stage, my boss is gonna-"
"Going to what, Epel?" a colder, stronger voice carries across the hall. You both turn to see a meticulously dressed man with a stern look on him, and not a single hair out of place.
...Shit. You know where you are.
This is the romance book you'd been reading!
"S-sorry, Mr. Schoenheit," Epel says. "But it's their fault! They're the one who ran off!"
"I know that," Vil Schoenheit, the antagonist of the story, says. He narrows his eyes. "I'm not surprised our little potato has already quit. Couldn't handle the pressure, hm?"
You blink- oh, no.
You're the protagonist- the normal, nobody student who was ~randomly~ chosen to be the lead in a romantic drama, even though they've never acted a day in their lives.
"I-I just-"
"Enough of that," Vil says sternly. "Now, get up. These costumes aren't cheap, and you're dirtying yours on the floor."
He escorts you out of the hall and back onto set, Epel not far behind.
"Places!" someone shouts, and Epel nudges you into position on the sound stage.
"Remember, you don't say anything in this scene," he whispers, covering his headset mic. "Just look like you're in love. And make the kiss believable!"
Your eyes widen. "The WH-"
"Quiet on set!" the director yells, and Epel hurries away. "Action!"
You stand, dumbfounded, as the doors fly open and the book's love interest, actor Neige Leblanche, runs on set. His outfit is simple but glamorous, his eyes wide with emotion, his dark hair lightly tousled.
Horrifically, he's wearing a generous amount of lip gloss. So are you.
"My love!" he cries out, running up the steps toward you. You watch in horror as he gets closer and throws his arms around you, and just as you're about to have the dramatic, impassioned kiss the book has been leading you to, you push him off.
The director stares. Neige's eyes widen. Epel smacks his forehead.
The rest of the set is silent.
Finally, you feel a cool hand wrapping around your wrist, and suddenly, you're outside again.
"Have you lost your mind?" Vil hisses, his grip on you tightening. "You are making a fool out of all of us. You're an embarrassment to this production, and you should have never even..."
He stops, mid-rant, when he sees your eyes watering.
"...Don't you dare make me feel sorry for you,"
You sniffle, and he sighs. He pulls out a handkerchief and dabs at your eyes, careful not to smudge the stage makeup.
"You're going to ruin someone's hard work like that, you know," he murmurs. "Now, what are you crying about? Isn't this what you want?"
You shake your head. You must look absolutely miserable, because he isn't even a little mad anymore.
"...You're ridiculous," he mutters, tucking the handkerchief away with a faint smile. "But I can't say I blame you. I wouldn't want to kiss him, either."
You take a deep breath, and then return his smile. How can someone so sweet be a villain?
Vil lets the moment linger. His eyes dart to the stage doors behind you, then back to you, and then he holds your chin between his pointer finger and his thumb, and then he kisses you.
It doesn't last for long, but it's enough to leave you dazed when he pulls away.
"...Your lip gloss is smudged," he comments, and then he walks back to set without another word.
...Perhaps this book is more interesting than you'd thought.
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➼ His Father
When your friend started gushing about this new dark romance book she finished, you thought she was just reading a bunch of tropes off a page.
Fae court? Handsome, mysterious, brooding princes? A tall, dark, possessive love interest? Sure.
You promise you'll try it, and she takes that as a "yes", leaving the book on your desk. It goes untouched.
You wake up in a dark forest. For a moment, you think you're still dreaming- until a thorn pricks your finger, drawing blood, and you realize this is very, very real.
You can see a medieval castle off in the distance, and to your horror, you realize where you are.
"No... this isn't happening..." you mutter to yourself.
"What isn't happening?"
You jump at the sudden noise, and turn on your heels to see someone behind you. How you missed him, you're not sure. He's pale, his hair is striped pink, and his eyes are almost glowing.
"Not from here, are you?" he says with a smile. "You must be tired. Come, Lord Malleus' home is always open to guests."
This is the weirdest stranger danger situation you've ever been in. This small gentleman has fangs.
He chuckles. "Don't let appearances fool you. We're quite hospitable!"
You think about it- you could stay in the forest, and die of a slow and agonizing death, either by starvation or mauling, or you could play the part, return to the castle, fall in love with the tall love interest, and have his babies.
...Honestly, hypothermia doesn't sound too bad.
But you also know that the book has to end eventually. And when it does, you'll get spit out. Maybe.
You're in the mood for taking chances.
The castle is just as grand and old as your friend had described it. The food is just as strange, the court just as intimidating.
Strangely, though, she never mentioned any short, pink-haired fae, apparently named Lilia Vanrouge.
"Enjoying the view, are you?" he asks, having caught you staring.
You quickly look back at your own plate. "It's just, um... well... I was wondering about your relationship to the prince,"
He winks, as if to say "nice save".
"He's... well, a foster son, of sorts. Think of it however you'd please,"
"Are you comfortable?" the prince in question asks, his eyes showing genuine concern.
You shrug. "...I guess so,"
"How does one get so lost they end up in Briar Valley, anyway?" one of his knights, Silver, asks in a soft tone.
"AND HOW CAN WE BE SURE THEY AREN'T AN ASSASSIN SENT TO HARM OUR LIEGE?!" the other, Sebek, says in a less-soft tone.
"Oh, nonsense," Lilia says. "Malleus likes them. Don't you, Malleus?"
The prince nods. Oh, brother.
"How nice. Perhaps you two should rendezvous after dinner? To get to know each other better, hm?"
You stare down Lilia, practically begging him to shut up. You want to shake him and shout "Stop trying to set me up with your weird kid!!!!!"
Sebek looks appalled at the very idea. "BUT- MASTER LILIA- THEY CANNOT BE TRUSTED! I CANNOT ALLOW THIS!"
Thank you, Sebek!!! you think.
"Yeah, um... you know, I'm kind of tired, so..." you say. "Maybe tomorrow? Or next week? Or, um, whenever. You know."
Sebek visibly relaxes at that, and Silver raises an eyebrow.
"Of course," Malleus says. "I will have the finest room arranged for you at once."
And he did. This world may be stuck in ye olde medieval fantasy times, but man, what money can't buy...
As you look around the exquisite room, you hear a knock at the door.
Lilia comes in without waiting for an answer. "Enjoying the room, I hope?"
You sigh.
"Did Malleus send you?"
He chuckles, and takes a seat on your bed. "I am his keeper, he is not mine. I just wanted to see how you were faring,"
"I'm fine," you turn back to the wall, pretending to look at a tapestry. The sight of him on your bed is... distracting, to say the least.
"Hm..." Lilia hums. "...I would like to apologize for overstepping at dinner. I did not mean to imply anything. We're rather isolated here, and Malleus has been lonely..."
It makes sense, of course. He's only looking out for his... strange, sort-of son. Still...
"And you're not?" you ask.
Lilia doesn't have a response for that. You turn around to gauge his expression, and he's smiling.
"Khee hee. You're a clever little thing. If I didn't know any better, I would think you were flirting,"
Now, it's your turn to not respond. He's caught you, and he knows it.
Your heart beats with something like excitement as he stands and closes the door.
"But I suppose I have all night to figure it out,"
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stark-ironman · 3 months ago
Note
I need Hugh who is needy but the reader is a bit of a bully because maybe she’s jealous or something idk I need him under me pretty please
Needy (Hugh's turn)
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18+ No Minors
Warnings: jealousy, oral (f recieving), face sitting
It's the annual Christmas party that Hugh throws every year, inviting all of his good friends over to share a meal and a nice little get together which you both look forward to every year. That is until one of Hugh's old co-stars was invited and she's taken it upon herself to follow Hugh around like she's a lost puppy.
You tried to bring it up to him in a quiet, nice way but all he wanted to do was reassure you that he wasn't going anywhere and that he would never leave you.
So here you are, standing with a group of friends, staring at your boyfriend laughing at a joke the girl just told. Jealousy pours through your veins and you're pretty sure everybody can tell from the look on your face but they don't dare to bring it up.
"Y/N, you know Hugh would never hurt you. He's a nice, loyal guy who's too oblivious when someone flirts with him." Ryan tries to simmer your anger but it doesn't work. "It's not him I'm mad at. It's the bitch standing next to him who knows he's taken." You grit through your teeth, watching as the girl places a hand on Hugh's stomach, leaning into him while laughing.
That's it. You start walking over there, hearing Ryan mumble an oh shit, slide in between Hugh and the girl, hugging him tightly as he leans down to kiss you. "There's my girl. I've missed you." Hugh smiles, looking down at you. "Ryan started a debate so I had to prove him wrong," You both laugh and you look over to the girl, "So, who's this?" "This is Cindy. She worked on the Greatest Showman in the make up department." He tells you.
"Nice to meet you. Even though Hugh and I was having a conversation before you interrupted." The girl says and you look at her with a scowl. "Oh, you mean the conversation where you was placing your hand on my man?" You innocently ask, feeling Hugh tense up.
"If he was your man then you shouldn't be off with other guys at a party he throws." She fakes a smile. "And if you wasn't such a slut then you would have done what every other woman who was invited tonight has done and that not flirt and put their hands all over him."
"I didn't hear him telling me to stop so that's on him." She shrugs and it makes your blood boil. Hugh grabs your hand, pulling you close to him and you sigh. "The fact that you prey on men who don't realize you're flirting with them is sad. No one should have to be that desperate for a piece of dick to sit here and go after someone who is in a happy relationship, especially when there's plenty of other single guys here. Now, either you leave or I call security and force you to leave." You state, pulling Hugh away from the girl as you walk away.
He follows you closely, desperately trying to get your attention but you don't give him any until you're outside. "Love, I'm sorry. I didn't know she was flirting with me." He tries to explain as you lean against the balcony. You ignore him, noticing he's starting to fidget with his fingers.
"You know I only want you. I've wanted you from the moment we met 4 years ago. Please forgive me." He whimpers, feeling his heart shatter at the look you give him. "I watched you two for two hours. Two! And you let her touch you. Touch what's mine." Your voice raises and you notice he starts picking at his fingers harder.
"I told her to stop but she wouldn't. I was only trying to be nice because nobody would talk to her." Hugh whispers at the end and you finally take a moment to look into his eyes, seeing him on the verge of breaking down.
You walk over, grabbing his hands and kiss them softly. "I'm sorry I got so jealous. I don't like it when people touch you, especially ones who know I'm there and do it just to see what will happen." He hugs you tightly, kissing the top of your head.
"I really didn't know she was flirting with me. I don't know what I thought it was but the only person I care about is you. The only person I love is you. You never have to worry about me leaving you for somebody else." His voice is full of sincerity, causing you to bury yourself in his chest.
You both stay there for a moment before you straighten up and grab his hand again. "I think I'm going to head to bed but you can go back to the party if you want to." You say, walking back inside. "I'm going to tell everyone to go home. It's late and I want to cuddle." Hugh states, causing you to laugh. "Alright, I'll go wait for you."
You both head your separate ways and on the way to the bedroom, you get an idea in your mind to remind Hugh just who he really belongs to. You strip down to your lace lingere, smiling softly as you wait for Hugh.
Once he walks in the door, you hear his breath catch when he sees you. "Fuck.." He moans, walking towards you and reaching out but you stop him, smirking. "I want you to undress and get on the bed." You tell him and he immediately begins to undress, keeping his eyes on you as he slides up to the pillows.
You crawl on top of him, his hand instinctively grabbing your hips while you lean down to kiss him. "I'm going to show that bitch and everybody else that your mine. Understood?" You ask, hearing a whimper in response so you ask again, this time with him answering you.
Your mouth ghosts over his neck, causing goosebumps to raise before you bite down on one spot, moving slightly down as you leave a trail of hickeys down his neck. He grinds against you softly, moaning your name out loudly. "There you go, my needy baby. Use your voice and tell me what you need."
"I need you.. always you." A groan falls from his lips as you move further down his body. "You sure you don't want the girl who was all over you tonight?" You ask, looking up at him. "No, love. I only want you."
You slide your panties off, climbing back up to kiss him softly. "I'm going to sit on your face and you're going to show me how bad you need me." You state as he takes a deep, stuttering breath, watching you move to hover over him and he wraps his arms around your legs, flattening his tongue against your heat, lapping up any trace of wetness before closing his mouth down on your clit, causing you to moan out.
He moans while he sucks and pulls on your sensitive area, pulling away at times to flick his tongue over it as well, causing you to grip his forearms tightly. You look down to see him staring up at you with need, feeling a burst of love shoot through your body.
The way he starts eating you out is messy, hungry, with a deep rumble coming from him. You fight the urge to grind against his tongue, trying to stay composed with authority but you can feel it slowly slipping away.
He moves down, sliding his tongue inside of you as he moves his hand up to your clit, letting his long fingers press against your heat, rubbing in a sweet, swift motion.
"Fuck, Hugh..." You moan, gripping his hair as a familiar feeling rushes their your stomach. Before you can warn him, your orgasm sweeps through you but he doesn't move, in fact, he tries to move deeper into your heat.
Letting you ride it out, you slide down to his stomach and see him staring up at you with those love-filled eyes, and his mouth covered in your juices.
"Don't ever question my love for you, darling. If you knew how much you consumed my thoughts, you would never worry about anything. I'm all yours." He rubs your thighs. "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten so jealous." You say, running your hand through his hair.
"Don't be sorry. It was honestly sexy watching you get pissed at her." Hugh laughs, licking lips before continuing, "Now, lay on your back and let me have my turn."
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