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stepswowdsen · 3 months ago

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【KagePro】 KuroEne AU: Kuroha pretends to join the Mekakushi Dan

KuroEne AU scenario where Kuroha/Saeru pretends to join the Mekakushi Dan, while getting intimate with Ene. Shintaro gets worried for Ene's sake as her friend.

Sen's KuroEne AU: Summary

(Kagerou Daze Manga: Ch. 64)

Mary confronts Kuroha... but with a twist :)

Credit: Feila

The credit for the KuroEne shitpost meme edit goes to Feila

They originally came up with the idea and made the shitpost meme edit, I just edited it over the JP scans (which are in high-res)

Since I haven't bought the Kagerou Daze Manga volumes in EN yet, only in JP

I'M CRYING LMAOOOO 😭😂

Ty for your service as always 🫡💞

Teamwork! 🎉

I'll put the summary of my rambles and my and Feila's discussion rambles under the cut!

Our discussion was really long so I'll just be pasting it here

9/07/2024 - 9/08/2024

Chats with Feila we had on 9/7 to 9/8

Original vs. Meme Versions

Original (JP)

Shitpost (JP)

Original (EN)

Shitpost (EN)

Text Version

Bear with me y'all since I haven't bought the EN volumes yet

I only have a few of the JP volumes rn. I'm planning to buy the rest eventually

I found out the exact font that the EN Official TL uses to typeset the KagePro manga's main dialogue with

I'm still trying to find the exact font for the JP one, so it's just really similar (but similar enough to fool people LOL)

Close enough since it's REALLY similar

I also found out the exact font used for Magi's main dialogue in Viz's EN Official TL too :)

...

F: YAAAYYYY

I'm gonna gaslight a few people into thinking this is the canon one

Me: IKR cuz now we have the exact same font as the official version LMAOOO 😂

...

F: WE DID IT 🤯🔥

Me: Power of teamwork, wahoo!!

F: Now time to fool people

...

F: GOOGLE TRANSLATE 😭😭😭

Me: HELPPP

F: It'd be funnier if the panel below was Saeru smirking while saying "hell yeah"

Me: WHDSHDHS HONESTLY IT WOULD

I should edit another image from the KagePro manga (later)

F: WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO 😭

Me: Like just take a panel of him smirking from somewhere else and then paste it instead of the bottom panel

But dang the last panel in the OG page overlaps with the 2nd panel

Maybe later but not rn

F: That's gonna take a lot of photoshopping

Tho it is possible

F: Pls focus on other things 🙏

F: Also isn't your birthday coming up?-

Me: Oooh yeah it is! I'm planning to draw something for it tho it might be late (which is fine)

September 12th ^^

F: Noted :3

Me: 6 days away from 9/6 Day and 6 is Ene's Mekakushi Dan code number. Ene we were made for each other wifey 💙💘💞💗

KuroEne AU: Kuroha/Saeru pretends to join the Mekakushi Dan

Continuation of these rambles.

Saeru's amassed power and resources

Minor thing but wrong particle in the 1st image

I think whoever edited the Wiki page copy pasted from Ayano's Eye Ability, Favouring Eyes (目をかける, Me wo Kakeru) cuz there's a typo here

What it says:

目をか冴える蛇 (Me wo Ka Saeru Hebi)

What it should be:

目が冴える蛇 (Me ga Saeru Hebi)

...

Other than that, the KagePro wiki mods are doing God's work fr

...

F: Also Saeru sees 2 disabled kids (HaruTaka) and went "Hell yeah let's kill them"

Me: HWHDSHSDH not only that but he's actually the reason why they were put into a Special Needs classroom for just the two of them

Like Iirc his manipulation while possessing Kenjirou got Takane and Haruka into their own classroom in the first place

F: Just gotta beg the principal bro, as long as they got the budget they're fine

F: I still stand by my old statement

Me: LMFAOOO

Me: Oh yeah I just remembered. He's also the reason why Takane Haruka and Ayano's deaths don't get mass reported to the media cuz he makes sure it stays rather contained within the school

F: 3 kids died on the same day

"Nah bro, nothing going here"

Me: RIGHT like 3 kids dying on the same thing would be a massive thing but apparently cuz of him it gets suppressed

F: Damn Kenjirou's co-workers trusts him that much 😨

Me: I swear I read somewhere that it's cuz of Saeru that the deaths of 3 teens gets swept under the rug so it doesn't ger reported to the media but I can't find it

F: Wait why was Takane put into his lab again?-

Me: Oh yeah that actually does bring up a good point.

Like it's possible that Kenjirou (while under the influence of Saeru) administers a poison of some kind to possibly kill her after she collapses from her chronic illness. Then he takes her body to the lab

Me: The fact that Saeru takes both Takane (who turned into Ene) and Haruka (whose body turned into Konoha) into his lab…

F: Yeah, she became a digital virus and all, and her body completely lost all consciousness, I'm just wondering why she was kept in the lab

To prevent it from rotting? I guess that's reasonable, or it's just for the plot???

Me: Yeah I don't think there's much details other than that she was separated from her physical body. Like I noticed Takane's hair grows longer in Novel Route (her bangs grew after 2 years) once she's reunited with her body

F: I'm gonna guess that it's to keep them from rotting

And perfect plot device for Ene to just suddenly "HELL YEAH I'M ALIVE AGAIN" in the anime

Me: Ooooh yeah true

Me: OH I FOUND IT

The 2nd image

And this is exactly why I HC'ed that he'd get a nice real estate for him and Ene to stay in in my KuroEne AU~

F: WHERE DID BRO GET THE BUDGET FROM WHA 😨

Me: Tax evasion /jk

Ok I'm kidding he probably has ways to convince/manipulate people

F: I know humans are dumb, but this guy took it to another level

KuroEne Meme

F: A very normal unedited panel (trust me)

Me: I'M SCREAMING

Me: Someone should definitely ask him this in my KuroEne AU 😭😂

F: Go for Mary wwww

Me: Mary or Shintaro asking him this would honestly be funny LOL

F: He'd be frightened about them knowing it too

Me: I think in my AU, he'd certainly be a bit surprised/caught off guard by others knowing and/or catching onto their relationship, but doesn't mind. For most Routes, he goes along with Ene's wishes to keep their relationship a secret.

It's so funny to think about the perspective of an outsider (another MekaDan member) on their relationship. Plans of trying to rewind the world and whatever those two (KuroEne) are doing

"You're going to fuck her again, aren't you?" (Mary to Saeru)

"You're going to fuck him again, aren't you?" (Shintaro to Ene)

I've cracked the code 🔥

Me: LMAO

Shintaro: GOD, ENE!!! Don't make me witness your "games" with that guy!!!

F: Like yes he wants to rewind the world so he can keep living forever, but he also wants a gf :3

F: His jaw would drop so hard it de-attaches 😭

Me: Right cuz by causing the time loops he can live forever AND be with his lover for eternity ^^ It's a win-win for him

It'd be so embarrassing for him (Shintaro) like he never imagined the selfish cheeky Ene would get all flustered and embarrassed around that guy. Added with their relationship.

F: This trade is unfair man, Ene's friends gotta die and she can't continue to the future

Me: Yeah… he actively robs everyone of a future in order to serve his own selfish interests, and he knows it.

...

Me: It's so funny to think about how any MekaDan member who finds out about their r/s would be in disbelief.

Though some others would take it better.

Meanwhile Shintaro feels like a roof dropped on him

F: Momo is just supportive, not concerned about Saeru's background 😭

Me: Yeahh others like Seto and Momo are confused

And others would be confused but supportive

F: While Mary is all "😭😭???"

Ene with that "I can fix him" mindset is so funny

Me:

Kuroha: You can't fix me, but I can make you worse :)

I'll make you just like me -> I'll dye you in my colour

F: OH They both got worse indeed

Too freaky

Me: Let's just say that Kuroha seducing/enticing Ene and generally encouraging her to let go of her inhibitions/restraints causes them to indulge in their pleasures together.

While they play the game together, Kuroha decides to play nice… for now.

He knows he's just deciding to act tamer and finding something to entertain himself with (someone to play the game with) before he moves forward with his real plans.

Me: But yeah I do think a few members like Shintaro are kinda suspicious of Saeru's background.

Someone suddenly came and announced that they could make an android body for Ene, free of charge? Something doesn't feel right. He seems up to something...

Like Shintaro mostly dismisses it, but when he really starts thinking about it… It's too suspicious.

F: And Saeru's the only one who's good at keeping Ene under control as if he's playing with her mind

F: Ene has no filter around people unless she develops attachment towards them (kinnie moment-)

Me: YEAH cuz at first Shintaro's parading with Saeru's existence like "Wahoo! There's someone who can finally tease Ene and keep that pesky virus under control! Payback! I KNEW that life would finally reward me with good things eventually!!!"

Me: It's honestly funny to imagine Shintaro accidentally walking in on glimpses of their intimacy (them kissing) and finding out that they're romantically involved. And then, when he really starts thinking about it... Saeru's whole deal seems suspicious.

F: Also he has no degree in engineering but can build a whole android body??? FOR FREE?? Actually he is the degree he doesn't need one, does he?

Me: With his accumulation of knowledge, yeah

Me: Yeahhh it'd be fun if Shintaro confronts Saeru alone about how suspicious he seems. He came out of nowhere and suddenly insists that he made a body for her.

(Well… technically the entire MekaDan did but they feel more earnest and genuine)

He tells Saeru that he doesn't know what's in it for him and that it's not his business, but he's worried for her (Ene) as a friend

Tho Saeru probably knows how to counter Shintaro's answers just due to his knowledge. Shintaro still feels suspicious but lets it slide for now

Me: Same with me omg I mildly relate to Takane/Ene in a lot of aspects

This is apart of what makes her a very important and personal character to me

F: So Kuroha yapping is real, got it

F: Seeing her in MCA is like looking at a mirror for me omfg 😭

…

Me: He seems talkative/chatty when he wants to be

Me: I relate to Takane/Ene sm…

F: What if Shintaro questions Ene instead 🤔

Me: OH yeah Shintaro probably tries asking Ene first cuz Kuroha is honestly… unnerving/intimidating ngl

F: I mean, just look at him

I'D RUN BRO, THE DAN WAS STRONG FOR THIS

Or is Shintaro mad he can't pull and Ene manage to pull a random ass emo guy that looks like her crush's game avatar under a day?

Me: (KagePro Manga: Ch. 9)

(KagePro Manga: Ch. 17)

But Ene obviously doesn't want to tell him about their r/s and goes like "Don't pry into a girl's secrets!!!"

Ene gets embarrassed when Shintaro asks her about her r/s with him. Ene just tells him that he is a mysterious stranger that came and proposed that he could give her a body after hearing about her current predicament of being trapped inside the cyber world.

MekaDan members are just so compassionate as well

Shintaro: What's your deal with that guy!? Well, look, look, I know it's not my business, but—!

Shintaro: See! That sounds even more suspicious when you put it like that! I mean—! What kind of guy would do this all for free!? You can't tell me he's doing all this out of the GOODNESS of his heart!

Ene doesn't tell Shintaro that he (Kuroha) resembles Konoha.

Because she wants to keep her past to himself and avoid reminding him (Shintaro) of the past)

Though I think Shintaro eventually does put two and two together that he looks like Haruka.

And that eventual realization hits him like a brick

Shintaro: What if you get into trouble and something happens? That guy just looks like he's up to no good!

Ene: Awww~ Is Master worried about me?

Shintaro: Not!!! (-> He totally is)

Ene: But don't worry! He's been really nice to me! He always does what I ask~ Whenever I want something, he always finds a way to give it to me! Ene: He takes me places to go and sightsee, like the Amusement Park~ He gives me gifts, such as new clothes to wear~ Video games~ Unlike a certain someone who just stays cooped up in his room all day~

Shintaro: Heyyy! 💢

Shintaro: But isn't that suspicious?

Shintaro: (Why the sudden favouritism, though? He has a thing for her and wants to impress her, or something?)

Ene: I think you're just being a worryart, Master~

Me: Saeru fulfills his purpose as the "being that fulfills wishes" to an extent... He grants Ene's wishes and desires and pleasures.

But never completely grants his owner's wish

Ene isn't his owner tho so he can play along with her whims to appease her

...

F: Shintaro forgot genuinely nice people exists probably, but the fact that they're talking about Saeru in this context, he has the right to be suspicious

Me: Yeahhh like at this point I think Shintaro is still knee deep into his pessimism/cynicism, but slowly opening up cuz of the MekaDan

But with Saeru's context, showing up one day and building her a body? He finds it hard to believe. The situation is SO surreal to him.

F: Both Ene and Saeru are countering his arguments as much as possible lmao

Me: God Ik Shintaro gets super cowardly but he has some serious balls when he wants to 😭

Like when Kuroha goes on his killing spree at the end of Manga Route 1 (and starts killing everyone in the Mekakushi Dan after their Amusement Park trip).

Shintaro tries to shield Momo, his younger sister, from Kuroha when he points the gun at her and runs in front of her.

The adrenaline rushes in for him to protect a sibling/family member with his life

F: Bro hides his potential for plot duh

Me: OH yeah true

Me: And so, Shintaro realizes he has to confront Kuroha himself after he realized he's not getting any answers from Ene…

Shintaro: (Great...... Worst option. Ene wouldn't tell me anything when I tried asking, so now it looks like the only option is to ask HIM... He's frigging scary, though!)

F: And Saeru using reverse psychology on him 😭

Me:

Shintaro: (God, this is the worst kind of situation...! I mean, what am I doing? I know it's not my business, but… What the hell is this?)

Shintaro: (I mean, no matter how you look at it, it's just strange… He managed to accomplish something like transferring someone's consciousness to a robot...)

Shintaro: (How he'd manage to develop tech more advanced than this world's greatest scientists? It can't just be because he's some prodigy from a wealthy family or whatever. It doesn't make sense. And all for free? And I can't help but feel worried for her, too. What if she gets into trouble because of him?)

Shintaro: What are you up to, huh??? Why would you suddenly create a fully functioning Android Body specifically for her? You're not gonna hurt her, are you?

Kuroha: Are you projecting right now?

F: Reminding back the trauma of losing his friends just because he doesn't keep an eye on them for 1 sec…

Me: ;__;

Me: Also knowing Saeru, he can definitely spin up some lies to get away with it. He's good at twisting words. He knows what to say.

Me: OOO yeah I definitely imagine they'd say something like this

…

F: The fact that your canon-verse KuroEne AU reminds me of RuiNene (ProSeka)

(Genius mfs inventing shit that benefits their gfs)

Me: Reminds me my friend Aya was like "Him and his autistic wife" 💜💚

F: They're both autistic actually, Sega told me-

Me:

I imagined a scenario like this

Shintaro: (Shintaro approaches Kuroha from behind and places a hand on his shoulder.)

Shintaro: Hey, hold it...!

Kuroha: (Kuroha raises an eyebrow with an amused smirk on his face when he turns around to face him.)

Kuroha: Hm? Oh, Shintaro? What is it?

Shintaro: I need to talk to you. In private.

Kuroha: Well? What did you want to talk to me about?

Shintaro: Ene said that you showed up one day and told her you could make a body for her. And all for free? It doesn't make sense! What's in it for you? You can't say you're doing this out of the KINDNESS of your heart.

Shintaro: Sometimes you guys disappear for days on end, too!

Shintaro: …Look. I don't trust you.

Kuroha: Oh? Are you really that suspicious of me?

Me: Shintaro's comment of "Sometimes you guys disappear for days on end" is in reference to Kuroha taking Ene to visit his real estates for them to be together during their trysts (games of intimacy)

F: And then he went on yapping about how much he banged Shin's digital malware, peak plot

Me: LMFAO 😭😂

Oh yeah I imagine that in Routes where Kuroha joins the Mekakushi Dan in Konoha's place, he knows that certain members will be more on guard around him than others

Thankfully he's good at talking his way around things (and he can see through Kano's Deceiving Eyes too)

F: Tbh, since he can easily manipulate Mary into resetting the time

Maybe he would play around like this

Me: Oooh yeah true

Like he's interested to see how much he can mess around (even when the others start to catch onto him).

He probably just thinks "You all can't stop me anyways"

Me: Mary would be confused but supportive. She's got the spirit. She'd still be like ❓

F: 8 (since Konoha is used as a vessel) red eyed teens vs. A snake demon with a glock

Me: WDSHHDSHDSH

This is going to end badly.

F: Does she not have any suspicion about him being Clearing Eyes orrrr-

…

Me: It seems like everyone is unaware of the Clearing Snake's existence before the start of the present day plot except for Kano (and Ayano, who is in the Daze in most Routes) in the present plot

Me: But yeah I wonder if Mary or any others would start to catch onto him. Cuz technically Kuroha can fool the others by saying he's Awakening Eyes…

He can use Konoha's Eye Ability, Awakening Eyes, and his eyes turn red when he uses it

F: True and everyone thought that he might have another someone that got sucked into the Kagerou Daze and he was the one who got out alive

I feel like Shintaro will most likely find out

He's got the highest suspicion for him

Me: Yeah I think Shintaro is one of the members most likely to catch onto Saeru first. Plus he's worried about Ene for the sake of a friend

Shintaro's technically clever and was considered an academic prodigy. He always aced tests due to his photographic memory Iirc

F: I FORGOT HE'S A GENIUS

Me: When Shintaro asks Ene, she just tells him she's decided not to delve too much into Kuroha'sbackground/past

Shintaro: But don't you find it suspicious? He just showed up one day and said he could do this for you. Something doesn't feel right...

F: Academically tho I don't think he can read people well

Me: It's cuz he's usually so pathetic /endearing

Oh yeah Shintaro has booksmarts he's not good at reading people emotionally

And obviously Shintaro is one of the only members aside from Ene to realize that he looks like Haruka

Like the realization probably hits him way later on

Ene: But look! I can change my clothes now!

F: He was trying to forget Haruka too… Are you trying to re-torture this guy but with a KuroEne love/hate-sex twist onto it???

Me:

Ene: I'm not just stuck in your computer or phone anymore! I see it as a win! (⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡)

Me: HELPPPP

Oh god yeah I just realized the KuroEne AU routes where Kuroha joins the Mekakushi Dan ends up putting Shintaro through the wringer emotionally

Imagine having to deal with worrying over a friend and having to keep an eye on a guy you're really suspicious of cuz you don't know what he's really up to (and what his true intentions are)

F: I feel like making him notice that Ene looks like Takane and then realizing that she IS Takane

And witnessing her GETTING FUCKED BEFORE HE DOES is uh Idk cool plot but poor guy

Me: Yeah like he'd eventually put two and two together. And then it explains her infatuation with the Haruka lookalike guy (Kuroha)

F: You're making him relapse wow 😭😭😭

Me: Honestly sad for him cuz Ene wanted to avoid reminding him of the past but Kuroha's actions end up doing it anyways

F: So do I say fuck you, Author, or fuck you, Saeru???

Me: Didn't realize how much emotional baggage Shintaro would go through with this but it's interesting to think about from a writing standpoint

One of the things that Micchan pointed out to me is that apparently Haruka can see and hear whatever Konoha's body feels.

So when Black Konoha (Kuroha/Saeru) fucks Ene… Yeah.

I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT EITHER UNTIL SHE POINTED IT OUT TO ME

F: It does make it interesting from Shintaro's perspective but my man just wanna stay inside

F: SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT

SHIT.

Me: Kuroha's actions end up causing everyone the worst kind of slow eating heartbreak oh my god

F: WELL UH…

That was awkward 😨

M: Holy shit I’m loving that AU this is so angst fuel ⚰️🔥 I’m so sorry Haruka who’s in the Kagerou Daze watching all this unfold SHDJGHKAJSRGD

Me: MICCHAN WHDSHSDH

Me: Oh yeah KagePro LN 6 -over the dimension- canonized that Haruka can see and hear what Konoha's body experiences. So…

F: Haru and Shin are a victim here bro

Me: YEAH I'M MOSTLY JUST GONNA… LOOK AWAY FROM THAT LITTLE TIDBIT

F: ALSO CAN'T AYANO SEE TROUGH SHINTARO'S VISION??? CMIIW

Me: HELPPPPPPPPPPP

F: 4 VICTIMS IF WE INCLUDE MARY WTF

For Ayano though, it depends if this Route takes place after Manga Route 2 (MR2) cuz that's when Shintaro gains an Eye Ability (Ayano as the Snake of Retaining Eyes)

So yeah Ayano is included as one of the people exposed to learning about KuroEne's intimacy if it's post-MR2 AND if Shintaro learns about it.

Cuz Iirc Ayano visits Haruka in the Kagerou Daze and can see what Shintaro sees

Me: I'm just imagining before KuroEne get intimate with each other again...

If Kuroha's truly fucking evil, he can make a side comment like, "We have an audience here, don't we?" In reference to Haruka and Konoha being forced to be spectators to his actions.

And Ene would just be confused by his one off comment like "But there's no one here in this room?"

And he just grins to himself and goes like "…It's nothing" (^-^)

Technically all of the MekaDan members are victims but some especially get put through the wringer

F: Bro's gonna make Mary commit mass murder just to reset the timeline so she didn't have to witness this

Me: Ngl 5 victims if we include Haruka and Konoha. Aren't they basically forced to just be a spectator to Kuroha's actions (including killing everyone, and KuroEne's intimacy)

Cuz Kuroha suppresses Konoha's consciousness while he possesses him but he's not fully gone

Technically, all of the MekaDan members are victims, but some ESPECIALLY get put through the wringer in this.

F: Oh shit an accidental threesome-

Me: YEAH THIS WAS ME WHEN I REALIZED THAT HARUKA (AND PROBABLY KONOHA) WOULD SEE KUROENE'S GAMES... THAT THE "PLAY" TOGETHER...

F: I'm taking off my glasses

That's enough of seeing privilege

Me: I just mainly thought about and focused on the two of them (KuroEne) but then I realized the routes where Kuroha joins the MekaDan ends up causing the others sm pain

F: Positive thinking

He cooks for the Dan, does the laundry for the Dan, takes Ene to the amusement part, cuddles with Ene at night

AND THEN HE KILLS THEM

He did enough nice things ✌️

Me: LMAO

Oh yeah he'd be great at doing the Dan's household chores

And he'd take Ene to the Amusement Park and Ene would come back holding plushies and stuff ^^

F: The only way to gain trust around here tbh

Me: One thing I thought about is that when Shintaro starts to catch onto Kuroha by sifting info, he starts to look into his background and sees how abnormal it is that this guy has money and real estates under his name

When Shintaro confronts Kuroha about this he just tells him (lies) that he gained the inheritance from his wealthy family

F: Pssst… check his taxes

Me: Also another factor that plays into this is that Ene is honestly… gullible and easily trusting. So she wants to believe in Saeru

F: Wait what if Shin asks for his last name, to y'know

Find his possible relatives on Facebook?

Me: OOOOH. I still think Kuroha can still lie his way outta this just fine but Shintaro's probably still suspicious of him (in his mind)

Cuz I imagine Saeru generally secludes himself

F: Ene's mind is all like "Damn, you changed a lot Haruka, what phase did you go through, holy shit"

Me: YEAH I think Ene knows he's different from Haruka but still feels a certain fondness for him

In this Route it means that he would've gained access to resources and amassed money and power through Kenjirou, and when Kenjirou dies after he leaves the body to possess Konoha, Kuroha probably has all his resources forwarded to him

F: Tateyama Saeru, yeah that sounds real stupid

Me: YEAH I don't think of it as adoption but rather like passing it on to a successor. Saeru SHOULD be smart enough to create fake names and identities too

Oh I also just realized.

He can use Awakening Eyes to change his appearance, so he can just change into Kenjirou's appearance even after his death

He can make as many fake identities as he wants to avoid drawing suspicion

He doesn't even need to be labeled as Kenjirou's successor, but he can do whatever he wants to avoid raising suspicion

F: Fooling the government into thinking they're relatives lololololol

Me:

Shintaro: Take a look at this, Ene…

Me: Oh yeah and apparently Konoha stays at Kenjirou's home at first after Saeru ensures his creation

Me: Oh I also just realized. He can use Awakening Eyes to change his appearance so he can just change into Kenjirou's appearance even after his death

He can make as many fake identities as he wants to avoid drawing suspicion

Shintaro: Are you funneling money or something? How the hell did you get the resources to make a fully functional android body?

F: Ooohhh then… Kenjirou inviting both Hibiya and Hiyori into the city is also a setup…

F: TAX EVASION SHIN, TAX EVASION 🔥🔥🔥🔥 /HJ

F: So in Konoha's State Of The World…

Oh I get it now

The story is more complex than I thought

Me: People on the KagePro Wiki are doing god's work fr compiling all the lore

Me: Yeah it looks like Kenjirou (who's possessed by Saeru) inviting them (Hibiya and Hiyori) to the city at the start of KagePro's plot is a setup to orchestrate their deaths

2 notes · View notes

m1ckeyb3rry · 2 months ago

Note

LMAOO it’s so funny how both Rin and sae have the same number of letters in their name the censoring can work both ways

AHAHAH you fr just get possessed and channel the energy instead of kaneshiro or kiyora it’s aiku now maybe that’s why you have crazy rizz too

IM CRYING the way the TikTok is so specific and fits perfectly how did you just have that on hand (ig it’s a sign pursuit truly meant to be)

SHOELIVER STOP why did i imagine a shoe and a liver HSHSSHSH BUT YES THATS THE ULTIMATE NAME

Wait spewpa fits so well another pokemon pairing W…I’ve also never watched either series I just know people memeing about it LMAOO BUT YEAH from what I’ve seen it’s just everyone’s kids THE WEDDING SCENE IS CRAZY no because the brides side is STACKED (Barou’s soul descends from the sky to shed some tears /j) omg Charles DOES give the bug kid energy guys…

I LOVE MIKAGES MUSTACHE LMFAOO the houndoom arcanine fusion is so funny it’s giving digimon (I think) you should just add a red noodle in the bg….one big squiggle….modern contemporary art we’ll know that it represents her red gyarados as well as the red string of fate tying them all together (insert the akshually nerd meme here)

THE DIAGRAMS the way that it’s all in cursive too has me sending because reading “fuckass butler coded” in cursive the vibes have me crying I love it though it’s so iconic (I’m ngl though my eyes moved too fast and I read that as butter at first so I was like huh….? Now imagine Karasu in one of those ridiculous Halloween outfits and he’s just a stick of butter with a hole for his face and his arms out on the side) ninja wannabe otoya is so real but the way that he makes Karasu carry all his shit is giving when a girl tells her man to carry her purse and bags LMFAOAOA long coat Karasu >>>> ok imagine his coattails are actually kinda shaped like wings though omg the bird motif goes hard I know some people don’t like long coats generally but I think it looks soooo good on him!! Wait ok I’m imagining he wears some like button up under the coat imagine him with rolled up sleeves and the gloves…..karasu the man you are….ok but i fr love the diagrams if you ever make more do show…

Side stories guys side stories…imagine you sandwich them between arcs like how they do beach episodes and fillers guys can someone actually pitch this to an animation studio (not eight bit) the mc slander is CRAZY LMAOO I love that dynamic to the reader and co group

Otoya acts cool but he’s so be fangirling over that like you know that one face he makes where he’s like happy/content and his eyes kinda turn into rectangles/lines and he’s throwing a like surfer hand thing (WOW this is why I don’t write) or like when anime’s add the like shoujo pink bright sparkly flower fx yeah that’s what I’m imagining but CRYING I THINK SO?? Prince being like wow Karasu you’re pretty strong! I immediately started playing the Justin Bieber that should be me audio in my mind congrats you’re now forever associated with him

LMAOO considering that even kaneshiro gave Barou some crack moments (maid Barou) id agree Barou and crack work so well im so excited to read about the goofy shenanigans im prepared to fr laugh my ass off

WAIT THE BUILD ME A PKMN TEAM IS GENIUS I gotta go brush up on my dex knowledge know and get prepared pursuit really opening up all these opportunities and ideas

That’s fr me anytime I use a non auto saving software like I’ll move my cursor an inch to the left and press save (Karasu over Isagi any day straight facts)

Wait no because I NEVER see Reo hate I actually usually only see Reo defenders/glazers and they like fully blame Nagi for EVERYTHING and I’m like are we gonna ignore the toothbrush scene /hj (I thought it was funny for comedic effect but people also take it way too seriously but also the dependency goes crazy) and fr!! Actually I think the sub idea is pretty good the copy ability reminds me of a character from Kuroko’s basketball who’s really good but not number one because of the limitations the copy has (he’s able to copy 100% but only for a limited time because stamina energy typical sports stuff) but I agree Nagi being a miracle is kinda his brand….

IM CRYING THE NAGI TIKTOK your fyp is actually insane ok but glad it didn’t delete the entire thing wait im gonna do a wc of this to see how long our responses usually are this one’s 797 words counting “are” as the end sooooo

LMAOOO Barou’s one insecurity is his tiny ass nose /j lowk I kinda like how ironic it is like you’ve got big angry ripped man with a cute little nose

- Karasu anon

LMAOO NO LITERALLY like it could really be either one but i feel like i tend to talk abt them very differently so even through the censor it’s kind of obvious?? like rin i at least acknowledge that he’s pretty and i’d like him more if he weren’t popular but sae…my opp fr /j /j sae fans don’t hate me

no because that’s literally how it feels like people will ask me for writing tips and i’ll just be like i wish i could help but my process is just be chronically online -> get inspo from a random tik tok audio -> get possessed by the character i’m writing for -> end up with a fully formed fic a few hours/days/weeks later LMAOAOAO it just happens

THE TIK TOK HAD ME CRYINGGG i saw it and was immediately like omg pursuit reoy/n…pursuit references are everywhere it’s a sign from the universe that it needs to happen fr!!

shoeliver best duo and HAHA no because that lowkey fits…i know in hindi it’s a common thing for mom’s to threat to throw a shoe at their kids when they’re mad (it sounds better in hindi i fear) which lowkey is giving barou??? and liver -> lover and aiku is a lover of many women fr

CHARLES THE BUG KID OF ALL TIME the wedding would be so crazy imagine nagiy/n’s son looking at kiyora like “twin 😟 where have you been ⁉️” honestly that mixture of personalities in one room is just crazy work…why not throw in grandpa chris prince sponsoring the wedding while we’re at it /hj HAHAAH grandpa lavinho as the dj…grandpa noel noa the officiant…grandpa snuffy the only one who doesn’t get drunk and helps clean up…😭😭😭

the funniest thing is mikage doesn’t even have a mustache like that in canon?? like he has slight stubble but he was giving too many aiku vibes so i decided to drip him out and give him the full villain stache FBXJSJSH omg gyarados as nagi and reader’s red thread you’re cooking here…nah because we were talking abt how chaotic the nagiy/n daughter + charles wedding would be imagine the tullireo and nagiy/n weddings absolutely INSANE work 😨

okay because hear me out maybe when he’s just training karasu takes the coat off and rolls the sleeves of his shirt up to his elbows and undoes the top couple of buttons of his shirt 🤤 i have a very specific vision of him post-training with reader sitting on a log or smth and he’s slightly sweaty (enough that his hair is just a bit messy but not enough that he’s gross yk) and he has the gloves on and his fletchling is sitting on his right forearm and he’s scratching it for doing a good job KFHCISJS KARASUUU we mustn’t fold…nah because why are both of reader’s brother figured such baddies bro forget being y/n and getting w nagi i need aegislash to isekai me in there so i can get with her brothers ‼️ /hj

nah because get pursuit to pokémon studios fr the plot goes so crazy i’d single-handedly revive the anime with it (jk or am i??) and yes i think that’s the plan!! like toss in the side stories in between interconnected arcs and relate them to the previous arc (so not after every arc but for example after the arcs where reader and co meet up and where they meet manshine trio there can be a mini side story of nagi getting his growlithe or smth)

PLEASEEE THE SHOUJO FLOWERS meanwhile otoya’s wearing his all black emo coded fit the duality >>> literally chris prince sees karasu’s talonflame and as the fire type elite four member he’s like “wow that’s a great pokémon you take great care of it” and karasu’s like “heh thanks man 😅” maybe this is what inspires otoya to sign up for the chris prince scam egg gift program that gets him his ninetales HFJSDKSJ

barou is so fun because you can see him in a more serious role like pursuit but he also works well in a crack situation!! he’s such a versatile character we love him for that…like for example shidou and aiku i would mostly only write in those lighter situations whereas almost anything i do with nagi ends up leaning towards more serious just because I’M serious abt him (jkjk) barou can do it all that’s why we must stan

RIGHT I THINK IT COULD BE REALLY FUN AS AN OPTION i’ll def see if i can think of anything else but this is def a strong contender!!

THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYINGGG all i see are reo and chigiri fans slamming on nagi where are the mysterious nagi fans that hate on reo or don’t acknowledge chigiri??? maybe it’s a twitter thing but all i’m seeing are nagi haters nowadays 😒 tbh i think that’s another reason i forgot i liked chigiri HDKSDK his stans are crazyyyy either they overly feminize him, gas him up toooo much at the expense of every other character (yes he consistently slays but at the end of the day when things are said and done i don’t think he can compete with a fully motivated/unlocked nagi SORRY), or both 😭 REMIND ME WHO GOT REPLACED IN THE U20 MATCH 🤔🤔🤔🤔 all jokes ofc i do love chigiri and yes he’s currently carrying manshine but i thought we all agreed that this is just a character development arc for nagi…anyways…

PLS THE TIK TOK WAS SO GOOD sometimes you just have to laugh 😭 and speaking of tik toks i found another barou edit hehe the intro is wild i lowkey lost it at the spongebob JFDJSKA also i’m sorry i don’t have any other friends into bllk so you get all of my silly videos HAHAAH

LMAOO no i agree it’s very cute it fits his off field personality!! his isn’t as tiny as karasu’s in the trailer either omg karasu’s is so tiny…not in a bad way though i kind of love it i think it’s adorable…anyways i think i’m the only person who’s not wigging out over the trailer literally everywhere i go it’s just people being insane over it like y’all PLEASE relax i think we will be okay!!

#answered asks #pokémon au

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spark-hearts2 · 6 days ago

Note

YOU ALREADY READ IT??!! I couldn't find any ao3 attached to your account so I just assumed that you haven't seen it 😭. I have linked my tumblr in other fanfics but not that one because I haven't posted any of my personal TADC work on there.

I too was sad about the lack of any proper Caine perspective fic. There were some good ones but nothing that went into the level of detail that I wanted. So I looked at the meme "me when I have to write the fanfiction that I want to read myself" and got to work!

Haha, fun fact, I actually barely did any research for the fic lol. That's why the fic only talks about RAM and not other components like the GPU and CPU. I'm currently in college going for a degree in mechanical engineering so I've actually taken some 3D modeling classes (fusion 360) and coding classes (C++ and Assembly)((don't ask me about assembly I was ass at it)). I enjoy disassembling electronics so I that's why I am familiar with the guts of computers.

Your favorite TADC fic?? Teehee. Wellllll, I might just have a sample of chapter 2 for you to try

Because he was aiming to be as realistic as possible, the entire adventure had to take place in one room. Or, one room that he divided into two sections (staff and customer area). Because of the limited space, he took extra care in designing the environment. He even designed a detailed city environment outside the windows instead of the usual skybox. It only extended a little past the end of the windows, but that was out of bounds so it didn’t matter.

Most of the assets he could take from his pre-existing library. Table, chairs, lights, cash register, all things that already existed in high enough fidelity for him to consider using it in this hyper realistic environment.

A few things he had versions of but lacked the poly count or high definition texture he was looking for. So, he just remade them. He had to guess a little with what it should look like, but there were a few real images in his training library so any guesses were made in confidence.

He reassessed ingredients, recipes, and the food that was involved with the previous cooking adventures. He made edits, swapped out cartoony models for more realistic ones, added more ingredients and remapped the recipe tree to be more realistic. This also helped with making the mechanic unique from the previous one.

Power like materials were easy, as that was a trick with textures instead of an actual simulation. The liquids were more awkward. The usual simulation that he uses was optimized for efficiency, not realism. The most realistic simulation he had was purely to be used for creating animations, not interactable components. And a minute of lag between pouring and the liquid flowing was not acceptable. Maybe he should just make it a pre-rendered animation instead of a dynamic piece…

As he worked, he found evidence that realism used to be one of his visual styles that he could generate in. Which was VERY good. It meant that he could genuinely try to do this more and re-establish it as an option to adventure with.

There were a few pieces missing, biggest issues being some of the source training data, but the parameters still existed so he could make due with what was left. It would likely always be a bit weaker stylistically than his other visual styles because of that. But, it was guaranteed to be better than something that he designed from scratch.

Once the map was completed and the functionality added (testing was the last step before completion), he ran it through his judgment. Except, he would be judging his judgment.

Oh, this was so wrong. He was programmed to flag suspect analysis, but that was so that Admins could come and double check it. How could he judge if his own judgment was faulty? And if so, what would he do about it? It was simply too self referential.

But if he waited for outside judgment, then he might as well be ignoring Zooble’s warning. He could not wait as long as he had been waiting for the log out issue to be fixed, so he had to at least try to fix this issue himself.

His judgment returned the fact that the colors were quite dull, with the majority being brown, cream and gray. He ignored that statement, as his few images of the outside gave the impression that ‘real’ walls were cream colored, ‘real’ floors were gray, and most appliances were made out of wood and therefore brown. All signs pointed to this being a realistic color palette.

His judgment returned that the customer functionality lacked depth. He didn’t know whether or not to agree with this one, as he did just use the default mannequin avatar for the customer and only gave them three states: wander, request food, and receive food.

His judgment recommended adding a time-based mechanic where the customer would not wait forever. Maybe the customer would light on fire, as they were made out of wood, in order to visually demonstrate that a customer was lost and that it was a bad thing.

The idea wasn’t realistic, but he couldn’t make a realistic customer in the first place. He did want to add some kind of opposing force, as currently there was nothing stopping his goofy ganders from ignoring the customers and only playing with the food. He could predict several scenarios where no customer got fed and all food was either eaten by the player or thrown around the room. Yes, he made it so that all food items were edible and were therefore eat-able.

His judgment also recommended a food fight stage, as why implement a food splatter mechanic if it was not used. This one was easy, as he had no evidence that food fights actually happened in real life, so he ignored it... Even though he knew food was going to get thrown no matter what he implemented.

Ultimately, without the changes, his judgment rated the FUN level too low for release. With the changes, the FUN level was high enough for release, but just barely.

He wasn’t going to pay attention to the FUN level, not when it was suspected as faulty. But he did agree that there needed to be some kind of punishment for not providing to the customer. It just wasn’t a complete mechanic without some kind of reward or punishment.

Hmm, make the customer light on fire or don’t make the customer light on fire... what to choose.

Hello,

Do you wish for CAINE content? Specifically from his perspective as an AI? Well, I have a fanfiction (my own, this is my fanfiction that I am actively promoting) for you!!! Did I mention it has a 12k word count with a second chapter in progress (wip currently at 9k oh my).

it's a sort of rewrite of the Zooble therapy we got in episode 3 except I show off how much I know about computers. RAM is a plot point.

Link if interested: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60479521

I love your 3D donut renders. I prefer the long sprinkles but I am biased. Nice job on the background, I know people who would have just left them floating in space.

From,

EH???

HELLO??

YOU MADE THIS? THIS AMAZING WONDERFUL FANFICTION WHICH IS SO FAR MY FAVORITE TADC FIC I'VE FOUND??

I cannot even express how much I combed AO3 looking for something like this (and found it about 5 days ago!); a fiction written from Caine's perspective that ACTUALLY delves into the programming and ai element (AND RAM) - it's phenomenal I HIGHLY recommend it. The research you must have put in to get some of the lingo right haha!

Sorry to gush but I was already eagerly awaiting more of this fiction!! (I have an account on ao3 not under the same username for my own writing and have it bookmarked!!) Amazing work on it, for real! I can't wait for the next chapter! I'm such a sucker for realistic and accurate fiction from a robot's perspective -

#tadc #fanfiction #work in progress #tadc caine #he thinking #Nice to meet you too!#enjoy the content #I just made the FUN level up #It doesn't stand for anything #but maybe I should make it stand for something?#idk!

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14dayswithyou · 2 years ago

Text

▋GAME DEVELOPMENT ASKS !

✦゜ANSWERED: To avoid flooding the dash with all of these asks, I'm just gonna compile them into one big "masterpost" ^w^

By pressing 'keep reading' you confirm that you are 18 or older.

Anonymous asked: I was just wondering cuz I've noticed on some of the questions you've answered you've talked about having so much info but can't because of spoilers, and obviously you're still making the game. My question is do you have the full sotry written up and now what's left is coding, art, etc etc or is the story still in the progress of being written as well? If you feel comfortable sharing your process and all ofc, don't feel pressed if tou don't! 💕

Yeah! ^^ I've actually had the storyline fully planned out since 2017, but I'm updating and re-writing everything in the 2022 version because the original seemed kinda cringe and didn't feel consistent enough. I've only had Day 1 fully written since 2017, and everything beyond that just a general outline/dot-points of what I want to happen in each of the days. As for the progress: I still need to write the coding and dialogue, draw the backgrounds, update the sprites, CGs, and UI, and a ton of other behind-the-scenes things that probably aren't worth mentioning. ^^;

Anonymous asked: Saw you answer the ask anon sent about how development is going but was wondering if you have a general outline for the whole story (like the ‘normal’ route, ‘good’ route, etc) or if it’s certain scenes you have written and the rest is written as you work on it all? I’m just very interested in how you work on the storyline so I’m sorry if this makes you uncomfortable for any reason or you just don’t want to answer

Like the answer above, I have everything figured out (all the choices, branches/paths, endings, etc.), but they're mainly just general outlines/dot-points that I need to iron out, rather than a fleshed-out script that I can work with. I usually just tackle parts of the dialogue one scene at a time (usually by mindlessly typing out words and editing it afterwards) before moving to another scene and repeating the process. Eventually you'll end up with a semi-coherent script that you can throw into a text editor to check for spelling and then slap into the game!

Anonymous asked: You should translate it into korean too if you can!

For sure! I'm still looking into hiring translators once I set up a funding system for the game though, so I might put this on the backburner for a while ^^; Fan-translations are more than welcome though (only for the demo), and if people are interested, y'all can get in contact with me and I can send you the script!!

@marina-and-the-memes asked: is there any update on Day 2/how far in development it is LMAO and can we get close ups of the characters eyes bc my phone quality is ass NDJDJDJDJ

Like 80% of it is done! I still need to update all of the old CG art and UI, as well as write/proofread the missing scenes from the script. Everything else is completed though! And as for the eye close ups; you might have to download the images off the 14dwy itch.io page since I'm on mobile rn (and I don't have any images on hand) ^^; But feel free to send in your ask again and I'll upload the images from my computer instead!! (or wait for me to update this section lol)

Anonymous asked: Will there be life after the official game ending Few vn games have this setting, maybe you can consider. Thank you for creating Ren，Love you guys

Like game continuity? I don't think there will be any since the storyline is pretty linear and will eventually have closure once the game ends, so there wouldn't be much content to go through once the game ends ^^; I can look into adding future DLCs though!

Anonymous asked: Sooooo….can we end up with other characters instead of Ren or is our renren our endgame?? I’m sorry if this has been asked before. Pls ignore if it is. Also, I really appreciate how you take the time to answer the asks. No wonder the fans adore you😭💕. Kisses and hugs for you😚💜

Renren will be the main romance and focus for the game, but depending on the choices you make and the bonds you form with the other characters, you'll have the chance to get an ending with them instead! I won't be a fully fleshed out route or anything though.

Anonymous asked: How's development going? Have you made any progress on the game? I really like hearing about this kind of stuff

Answered above! The only reason it's taking me so long is because I'm a full time university student, and writers/artist block is Very Real ;v; I sometimes get burnt out and don't feel like writing, and I'd rather not force myself to work on the script if I'm not in the right mindset, if that makes sense?? ;v;

Anonymous asked: I don’t know if it’s been asked yet or not but will the game have different routes and/or endings? “I can fix him” ending VS “I can make him worse” ending FIGHT

Yes! Right now I have 4 main endings planned for the game, and they will all depend on the choices you make, Ren's affection for you, and his sanity meter (which will be implemented in a future update!).

Anonymous asked: i love love loved the game! im craving more! but im not sure what to look up exactly? what genre of game is this? the whole obsessive lover type haha is there a name? ALSO! where should i go to look for when the complete game comes out?

I'm not actually quite sure what genre to call it ^^; I labelled the game as a horror/romance visual novel, so you could try that? I feel like "yandere visual novel" would yield more results though since the yandere term is more common. I'm also following a ton of insanely talented game devs on twitter who create similar yandere VNs, so feel free to check them out!

#queued post #💌 — answered.#💌 — love letters.#🖤 — shut up sai.#genuinely don't know what to tag this as besties lmao #masterlist #FAQ

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thesolferino · 4 years ago

Text

True Calling

⤷ dream x f!reader.

⤷ word count: 3.9k

⤷ requested: yes, by this lovely anon!

— summary: dream meets his favorite singer on an among us livestream.

“Dude, what could go wrong? Just do it.”

“What could go wrong?! Literally so many things, you ass.”

Dream heard Sapnap sigh through the mic right into his headphones, the dim grey of his Discord background doing barely anything to illuminate his features as he stared at his open messages blankly.

“First of all, don’t.. speak to me like that, I am doing you a favour by sitting here and listening to you panic about stupid shit. Second of all, nothing big could go wrong. What, you’re a little awkward in the beginning, maybe, and that’s it.” Dream adjusted his headphones a little bit, Sapnap’s rant flowing into his ears but dissipating somewhere halfway to his brain, because, yes, things could go wrong and he can’t be proven otherwise.

“Did you forget that I’m a public figure? And that my fans are insane? I say one wrong thing and it’ll be memed and haunt me in my dreams. Did you forget that SHE’s a public figure? And that this is live? God…” he retorts back, listening to Sapnap helplessly sigh once again in response. He anxiously switches from his Discord to Twitter, then to YouTube, to Twitch and then back to Discord, frantically clicking around. In reality, he knows Sapnap is right, and it’s anxiety whispering into his ear that he’s gonna somehow fuck up, but maybe it’s simply easier to stay and argue with him into the night instead of actually responding to that message.

The stream is still going. Quackity’s voice speaks over Sapnap’s quiet breathing. “Damn, he’s still not responding. Um, let me try Tubbo, maybe?”

Before he knows it, the opportunity to join the stream is slipping out of his fingers, and Dream isn’t sure if he’s happy about that or not. On one hand, he gets to meet one of his favorite artists whose album he’s played way too many times to count, and on the other, the chances of him embarrassing himself in front of that same artist and a hundred thousand other people are extremely high, and he’s not sure if he likes the odds of that.

“Man, I don’t know. You won’t listen to me, anyway. Don’t join if you don’t want to.” Dream hears the annoyed tinge in Sapnap’s voice, and that’s what pours the last bit of courage into his veins because the best way to do anything in life is to follow Sapnap’s advice after you’ve already irritated him to the point of defeat, and he murmurs a quick “bye” and hangs up before the other can even respond, typing a rapid “Sure, send me the VC link” back to Quackity.

He hears a delighted exhale coming from his Twitch tab just as Quackity forwards him the link. “Okay, nevermind, we’ve got Dream! He’ll join in a second.”

With that, he swiftly closes the Twitch tab and with an encouraging sip of water, he finally joins the Discord voice chat with the rest of the players. Your Discord image sticks out like a sore thumb to him despite being a super basic, Googleable picture of you that he’s probably seen a million times by now, and upon seeing it, reality slaps him right over the face and he realises that, oh shit, he actually joined.

“Hey everyone.” Dream speaks into the mic and a mix of excited voices greets him at the same time as he loads up the game. Your icon is missing the green halo. He stares at it, as if you’ll magically speak up if he stares long and hard enough. That, apparently, works.

Pokimane’s “Dream, hi!” seems to set something off in your brain, and you speak again.

“Oh, Dream?” the green halo appears, and Dream resists the urge to say something stupid or bite his hand or anything of the sort when you say his name. “Aren’t you the guy who listens to my music all the time?” you giggle.

Quackity laughs loudly in his usual fashion, and Dream feels his hands go cold as the Among Us loading page pops up. “Wh-huh?”

“Yeah, you-you listen to my music a lot! Your fans always tag me under that… ‘Dream’s Spotify’ Twitter account, I remember you.” Dream swears his heart is about to jump out of his chest and start bouncing around on the floor because his ribs are way too restrictive for that type of movement, but he tries his best to play it cool and laughs lightheartedly.

“I do! I’m, like, your biggest fan.” he grins, as if you can see him, and you laugh in return.

“Yeah, man, you pay my rent. Thanks.” you say and a couple of people laugh while Dream inputs the code and his character finally pops up, immediately running around like the rest of the group. He runs around your purple character and hears you chuckle as you run around him too, but not for long, because the game starts and everyone mutes themselves. He audibly sighs, because he can afford to, considering he’s not streaming and nobody can hear the amount of courage this whole thing is taking him.

A notification pops up on his screen - the Dream Team group chat seems to be talking. Must’ve already found some way to make fun of me, he thinks to himself as he huffs out a large breath and runs through cafeteria and weapons to do his tasks in navigation. Corpse is hot on his tail the whole time, and not to say he’s an untrustworthy guy, but Dream isn’t really looking forward to getting killed before even speaking to you properly, so he runs around, trying to find somebody to stick with so Corpse doesn’t shove a knife in his back while he’s doing a task.

Thankfully, Karl emerges somewhere from the direction of storage right into communications where Dream was going, too. Just as Dream starts finishing download and Corpse and Karl line up behind him, his screen flashes bright red and white and the bold letters “Dead body reported” pop up. Everyone unmutes themselves and his eyes bore into your character, immediately.

“Alright, the body was in top left of the… uh, upper engine. I need everyone’s positions.” Rae immediately spoke.

“I was in electrical, I-I went through cafeteria to the upper engine with Poki, there was nobody there, we did our tasks, went down to lower engine, then Poki left with Toast, and I went to electrical and the body was reported.” Sykkuno said, and Pokimane confirmed with a hum of agreement.

“Dream?” Rae asked, and he spoke up.

“I never even went that way, I went through weapons to nav, and then to communications, and then the body was found. Corpse can vouch for me because he was following me the entire time and I kinda thought he was gonna kill me. And Karl saw me in communications, us three were all together when you… reported the body.” He rambled, trying to defend himself.

“Yeah, it’s true, he was with me the whole time.” Corpse supported.

“Karl, which way did you get to communications?” Toast asked.

“Uh, through storage.” Karl replied quickly.

“That’s funny, ‘cause I was in security, and I could swear I saw you walk past.” Toast said, and a couple of “ooh”s echo through the call.

“That makes no sense because even if I did go that way, I wouldn’t have time to get to communications and start doing my task with Dream and Corpse if I killed Ethan! And Rae, you-you saw me do my task in storage!” Karl loudly defended himself.

“...that… that’s true, yeah.” she said.

“If you ask me, Toast, you’re being real sus for lying about that.” Karl threw it back at Toast, who protested.

“Listen, I didn’t say you killed anybody, I just said I saw someone run past!” he claimed.

“Bretman and Y/N are being real quiet, though.” Corpse points out, and the green halo around your icon lights up once again.

“Oh shit, I didn’t realise I was muted. Sorry, guys.” you laughed. “Um, I was with… Quackity, in… what’s that shit on the right called?”

“O2.” Quackity quickly jumped in.

“Right, O2. I went to… top left, first, and I did my tasks there, and then to weapons and then to O2, and then the body was reported.”

“You were in top left?” Rae repeated.

“Yeah.”

“And was there anyone with you?”

“Um… no? I was alone, and then I saw Quackity in top right, and then we went to, uh, O2 together.” you said and Corpse sighed loudly.

“That means she could’ve had the time to kill Ethan and run.” Toast points out.

“Hey! I didn’t kill anyone! I don’t even know how this game works…” you whined into the mic and Quackity laughed.

“Yeah, I dunno Y/N, you were dancing real suspiciously around me…” he said, causing you to defend yourself louder.

“Why would I kill anyone?! I don’t even know how to do that, I’m a nice person!”

“I don’t think she did it, guys.” Dream pipes up, tugging at the wire of his headphones absentmindedly.

“Shut up, you simp.” Quackity fires back instantly, making everyone in the call laugh, including Dream.

“Damn right, I’m a Y/N simp. She can do no wrong. I mean, look at that innocent face! She did nothing, I’m-I’m sure.” He argued, making you cover your mouth and giggle.

“Their face is literally the same as everyone’s! We’re all astronauts!” Rae protested, but Dream kept shaking his head.

“No, hers is more innocent.” he said. “Toast, why are you so set on accusing everyone, anyway?”

“Oh, you’re so not attacking Toast right now-”

“Guys, I think we should skip.” Sykkuno pipes up to calm the conversation, and everyone agrees, even though most of them mumble “sus” under their breath as soon as they mute their mics.

Dream’s tiny green astronaut stomps his way over to the left side immediately, changing paths this time and making his way into the Upper Engine, trying to finish his tasks in time and possibly find someone to accompany him so he at least doesn’t have to argue over his alibi. He had four tasks left, two of them in Upper Engine, so after that he was free to roam around wherever his heart desired. Just as he started doing one of them, he watched your purple character step in and run circles around him, earning you a quiet laugh that he didn’t know he uttered until he heard himself do it and silently scolded himself for getting that flustered at something so simple.

The two of you did your tasks together before going down to reactor. Just as Dream started doing one of his tasks, a dead body was reported again and he unmuted himself as Toast immediately started borderline yelling into his headphones.

“Bretman just killed Sykkuno RIGHT in front of me. I literally watched him do it. He killed Sykkuno in COLD BLOOD.” he confidently claimed and Dream, quite uninterested, grabbed his bottle of water and lightly sipped on it, wiping beads of sweat resting right above his eyebrows with his forearm, blindly looking around the darkness, trying to get his eyes to adjust looking away from the computer screen. His eyes searched for the window - it was open, just enough to let a fresh breeze inside, but it never seemed to do that, letting humid air in with open arms like a welcome guest. Florida is fucking hell, he thinks, gulping down some more water.

“No, I didn’t! I seriously did not, he’s the one who killed him and is trying to frame me now. I swear to God, Toast…” Bretman shouted into his worn mic, trying to argue back.

“Yeah, to be honest, Bretman, you were silent the whole time when Ethan died.” Rae reasoned, earning quite a lot of “ooh”s and causing little “voted” signs to appear next to Poki, Toast and Karl’s names as Bretman tried his best to fight back.

“I didn’t know I was muted the whole time! You know I’m bad at this! Why would I... you know what, nevermind! Vote me! Vote me! You’ll see when Toast kills you all, I don’t care anymore. I literally saw-”

Dream slumps further into his chair, sure that the foam would have a dent of his body shape imprinted even when he’s long gone from it, and unlocks his phone with a quiet sigh. He opens Discord, and wishes he hadn’t, because Sapnap and George are always on the front lines and ready to make fun of him at any chance possible. He types back a stupid joke, calling them losers, but before he can press send, a Twitter notification pops up on his phone that almost makes his painfully sweaty hands lose grip of the phone.

“this is so boring” your message reads, from your official Twitter account. Dream blinks a few times, and looks up from his phone to observe his murky, empty room, eyes flashing from the window to the ripped chocolate bar wrapper that somehow made its way onto the floor to a cup of coffee from this afternoon. Did the humid air finally get to him? Hallucinations?

He clicks on the notification - it proves to not be a product of his imagination, after all. Three dots dance around on his screen cheerfully, but they suddenly stop. His ears tune in. Bretman is still defending his honor. Something else must’ve interrupted you. His shaky hands barely hit the right letters.

He takes a handful of screenshots amidst his euphoria, and forwards them to the group chat with no caption besides an emoji sticking its tongue out - he wants to tell them to suck his dick, or something along those lines, but your message remains a priority as he rushes back to the Twitter app to reply.

“Right” he manages to write without a typo. “They’re annoying”

Three dots immediately return to his screen like a happy memory, and he almost can’t believe you’re texting back so fast. George would probably humble him by saying it’s because you have nothing better to do, but what George doesn’t know can’t hurt him, Dream supposes, and clicks on your profile instinctively as he adjusts his headphones on one ear. By the time you finish typing your message, the group decided to vote out Bretman, who ended up not being an imposter.

The three dots disappear as quick as they came, and so does the anticipation that bubbled up in Dream’s throat as he sourly leaves to finish the rest of his tasks. The rest of the game stays as boring as it started, save for the giggles and hushed laughter that came from you at every few jokes he made - of which he made quite a lot, in a desperate attempt to make you laugh, at least a little bit. Of course, Quackity was there every step of the way to accidentally mention how Dream sounded a lot more hype and alive during this game than he does ever, but you win some, you lose some, eh?

In the next game you actually decided to set up proximity chat, so of course Dream followed you around everywhere, hot on your tail at all times - what else is he supposed to do, when the chance presented itself, really?

“Are you imposter?” His character obnoxiously ran circles around you as you did your wires task slowly and unsurely since this stream was your first time playing.

“No, but I wouldn’t tell you even if I was, dummy.” You replied, running around his own character briefly before running up to do the rest of your tasks, watching the green astronaut follow you close behind.

“Why not?” Dream questioned, eyes following all your movements since he didn’t have anything better to do considering he finished all his tasks.

“Do you not know how this game works?”

“Yeah, but you’d tell me, right? I wouldn’t… rat you out.” He heard a sigh coming through his headphones in response, and his grin widened just a little, watching your character walk away from him.

“I know you wouldn’t.” you replied. “I’ll tell you if I’m imposter, I guess.”

“You wouldn’t kill me, would you?” Dream spoke into his mic, reaching to fix it and realising the way his hand trembled a little, fully aware he was walking the line between flirty and obnoxious more than usual. He lowered his gaze just to see his keyboard reflect the light of the computer back to him - the sweat from his palms seemed to seep onto the keyboard. He refused to think about the mocking things his best friends would say if they found out how nervous he was just to talk to you.

“No, of course not! I wouldn’t be able to kill you.” You chirped just as a dead body was discovered and the two of you were torn from the conversation.

In the next one, his screen flashed an ominous black and red with the word “Impostor” and your purple character stood proudly next to his green one, and he snickered to himself, adjusting his headphones one more time (the more he did it, the more he was convinced it was one of those anxious habits of his).

Shifting in his chair, he started moving and couldn’t believe his eyes when he realised the two of you managed to lock yourselves in a room with Corpse and Sykkuno, accomplishing a double kill in barely the first two minutes of the game. The two of you vented while Dream muttered curses under his breath, breaking out in a sweat wondering if you’re going to get caught or not as you casually hummed to a random tune while faking tasks, hitting the notes in such an effortless way that it made Dream relax and get even more nervous at the same time. It didn’t take too long before the body was found, and you seemed to adapt to the game very quickly, as Dream just sat back most of the time and watched you stretch out a whole essay on why you and Dream could NOT have been imposters.

“Why would they stick together the whole time? Couldn’t they get at least someone else to vouch for them?” Toast complained.

“Girl, Dream wants some… alone time with Y/N, obviously.” Bretman said, despite being the one most sus of you in the first place, forcing laughter out of the whole lobby, Dream’s sticking out the most as his mood constantly swayed from finding the whole thing funny to being worried sick if you actually find him weird.

“Exactly! And we’re gonna have our alone time if we want to, thank you very much.”

Well, Dream thinks, taking a stressed gulp of water from his bottle, at least we cleared that one up.

“I don’t think that sounded the way you wanted it to, Y/N.” Karl pipes up, making Quackity burst into another fit of loud laughter, and you immediately protested.

“It sounded exactly the way I wanted it to! Now, vote Rae or else.”

When the meeting was over, he ran after you through cafeteria, grin splitting out on his face before he even spoke.

“You’re pretty…” his silence extended as he watched your character stare at his. “...pretty smart.”

You snorted. “Right. You’re pretty…” you extended your silence in return, mocking him. “...too.”

His heart jumps. “You forgot a word there.” he says as you stomp out to storage.

“I said what I said, Dreamy.”

He swears this can’t be healthy for his blood pressure. In the corner of his eye, Discord notifications pop up like crazy. The boys must be watching your stream. His heart swells with both pride and dread, knowing he’s about to be called something along the lines of pretty Dreamy for the next two months.

“How do you know I’m pretty? You’ve never even seen my face.” Dream replies as heat creeps up like a spirit rising from soil, from the back of his neck, seeping into his ears and cheeks somewhat equally. His eyes dart to the window again. Of course it’s the stupid Florida weather that has him burning up, flustered. Maybe he should open another window.

“Is this an invitation to see it?” you say, a teasing tone clinging off your voice and he can practically hear you smiling.

“No, I’m just saying! If you want to see it, though, that… that can be arranged.” he bites his lip as a physical attempt of holding back the smile that breaks out as he waits for your response, chest puffing in both nervousness and odd confidence.

“Can it? I mean, I don’t need to see it, I just know already, you have those… pretty boy vibes. But I wouldn’t…” you chuckle. “...be opposed to seeing it, for sure. Don’t count on me not to leak the pictures, though. I want the clout.”

“What do you MEAN you want the clout, you’re Y/N! You don’t need clout from a Minecraft YouTuber!” He argues back, a small wheeze escaping him mid sentence as you giggle and run around, with him following your every move.

“You keep my fucking lights on, man! Whenever your Spotify Twitter account thingy tweets that you’re listening to my stuff, the streams go up! I need your clout.” you say as you run into admin and snap Toast’s neck and run back out casually, as if nothing happened.

“Yeah, that’s how me listening to your songs on repeat works.” he says and you let out some sort of irritated groan.

“Shut up, smartass.” Just as you say that, somebody seems to find the body and you’re pulled into a meeting, where Rae susses both of you immediately.

“No, because both of you are always together! And someone always spots you walking by the place where the bodies are found! At some point that can’t be a coincidence, right?” she accuses, practically yelling into the mic.

“Of course they’re always together, check- check fuckin’ Twitter! They’re trending on like three different spots already!” Quackity jumps in, loud as always, and the lobby gives off mixed reactions.

“What? We are?” Dream asks, and Quackity confirms with a “yeah, man! Check!” and so he complies, quickly pulling out his phone to check the trending tabs. Sure enough, among the politics and sports, “DREAM Y/N”, “PRETTY BOY” and “DREAM FACE” are crammed, sat at 7th, 14th and 18th place, respectfully. A satisfied grin breaks out on his face. At least they see it, too.

“This has to be the first time Dream has trended for something heterosexual.” Karl points out, earning loud laughter from Quackity and Bretman, less loud on your part.

“Exactly! We’re a power couple! Stay mad!” You shouted, with Dream supporting you in the background, although still shyly adjusting his headphones every few seconds, unable to comprehend that oh, this is actually happening.

Both of you get voted out during the next few minutes, but that really means nothing to Dream - they actually do him quite a favor, because the two of you get to excuse yourselves and he sees those three familiar dots dance on his screen again as he leans back into his chair with a dopey grin, playing with the strings of his sweatpants, waiting for your next and next and next message.

He opens Discord on his computer to type one last message into the groupchat before turning it off for the night:

Dream (03:14): maybe Minecraft wasn’t my calling after all

Dream (03:14): can’t believe I just met my soulmate on Among Us

#dream x reader #dreamwastaken x reader #dream imagine #dreamwastaken imagine #dream fanfic #dreamwastaken fanfic #dream fluff #dream x you #dreamwastaken x you #dream x y/n #dreamwastaken x y/n #mcyt imagine #mcyt fanfic #mcyt x reader

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 4 years ago

Text

Flying High, Falling Fast

Warnings: non-consent sex and rape; fingering, oral, fucking, subtle creep factor, deceptive charm, the usual fare you know

This is dark!Sam Wilson x reader and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Synopsis: You meet the new Captain America at an event and impress him with your homemade project, but his interest is more than friendly.

Note: We all need some dark!Sam, right? This is a pretty long one shot, just over 7k words but it was super fun to write a character I don’t get to a lot. But I hope you love him as much as me!

Thanks to everyone for sticking around and putting up with me and thanks in advance for all your feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 Let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

You’d never been to a meet and greet before but it seemed like the perfect opportunity to meet up with Reese. The two of you met a year and a half ago on a Discord server for PC builds and eventually waded through the awkward blank cursors to real conversations. Little updates on new additions to your machines, memes about coding, and the occasional gaming session. He became a stalwart in your mostly solitary existence between work and your empty private life.

It wasn’t that you didn’t trust Reese but you felt safer meeting a stranger from the internet in a public setting. Plus, it was his suggestion. His roommate fell through on attending the event with him and you eagerly accepted the unclaimed ticket. Of course, Reese insisted it was his treat but you made him promise to let you pay for lunch.

Even more exciting, you were going to meet the new Captain America. THE CAPTAIN AMERICA. You wanted to squee but had to play it cool as you waited with Reese in the winding queue.

As exclusive as the meet and greet was, it was stiflingly crowded, even more strenuous as you and Reese tried to adjust your rapport to a face-to-face environment. You mostly ended up chuckling and struggling for some cogent thought.

“What’s in the bag?” Reese asked, finally cracking through the stunted small talk.

“Oh, oh my god, I almost forgot,” you carefully lifted the bag and opened the top to let him peek inside, “I made this last year during lockdown. It’s silly but it was fun.”

He poked his finger around the opening of your drawstring knapsack and his brows rose in surprise. The drone had taken you most of your spare time but you hadn’t yet had a chance to do more than hover it around your bedroom. It was an exact replica, or exact as you could get, of the former Falcon’s Redwing.

“Holy shit! You never mentioned it,” he said.

“Oh, well, I guess… I never thought to. I just spent about an hour or so whenever I could, getting it together. Most of the time was spent on programming,” you closed your bag and let hit hang from your elbow, “and that’s another checkbox on the nerd list.”

“Please, look who you're talking to,” he joked with a snort.

You smiled at him sheepishly and looked ahead of the bodies in front of you as the line shifted forward. He wasn’t exactly disappointing, if anything, he was exactly what you expected. Skinny with black-framed glasses and a bright tee with the Captain’s shield emblazoned across his chest. He wasn’t bad-looking and thankfully not an incel.

“So, uh, you gonna give it to him or something?” Reese asked.

“What-- uh, no, I was hoping he’d sign it actually,” you chewed your lip anxiously, “if I don’t spaz out and just walk away.”

“Right,” he scoffed, “the last time I went to one of these I almost passed out.”

“Oh? Who was it?” you wondered aloud.

“Tony Stark. But I was still in high school,” he explained, “everything else sells out before I get to it. These I got by luck. If David hadn’t swiped them, we’d be standing outside wishing we were in here.”

“I can’t believe he passed on the ticket,” you uttered.

“I’m happy he did,” Reese said, “it made it easier to convince you to meet.”

“Well… we didn’t have to--”

“I’m teasing. Sorry. I’m not very… experienced at this,” he fidgeted.

“It’s fine,” you shrugged as you moved with the line, “I’m just nervous about meeting Captain America, you know? You’re not as intimidating… but I like that.”

“Uh, thanks,” he laughed as you got closer to the table and fidgeted with the straps of your bag. You were almost there.

You stepped up when the people ahead of you cleared away and you couldn’t help but stare at Bucky Barnes’ metal hand as he signed Reese’s special edition Blip magazine. He cleared his throat and you looked the Winter Soldier in the face.

“Oh, sorry,” you slid the poster you got from the shop on the way in onto the table and he unrolled it and signed. You tried really hard not to focus on his hand, you were so curious as to how it all worked. “Thank you.”

He smiled through tight lips and said, “your welcome” before you sidled down to Sam Wilson as you rolled up your poster.

“Don’t worry about him,” Sam said, “he hates these things. I can’t take him anywhere.”

His laughter received a sharp look from the super soldier. Sam took Reese’s magazine and asked his name. You were too lost in thought to answer when he asked for yours. You coughed and sputtered as you tried to remember and Reese answered for you, adding that you were nervous.

“I, uh, oh,” you lifted your bag, “I was hoping, maybe, you might sign this instead,” you handed the poster to Reese and reached into your knapsack, “if you don’t mind?”

You carefully placed the drone on the table and his brows shot up in surprise. He lifted it just as you let it go and admired it as he leaned back, “you make this?”

“Yeah,” you answered shyly, “doesn’t have all the cool features like yours but it flies.”

“That’s awesome,” he put it back down and uncapped his marker, “where do you want me to sign?”

“Just on the top is fine,” you pointed, “thank you so much.”

“My pleasure,” he put his signature after spelling out your name and he grabbed the drone again, “hey, Buck, look at this? I don’t see any fancy arms that need signing.”

“Shut up,” Bucky grumbled and eyed the drone, “pretty cool, though.”

“Thanks, uh, well, we should get out of the way,” you said.

He handed you the drone and smiled. You began to shuffle away and he called you back to the table, “you code? Do a lot of programming?”

“Mostly just corporate sites,” you answered.

“Here,” he reached into his pocket, “send me a text. I think I know some people who’d like to meet you.”

“What?” you took the card rigidly.

“Sure, we’re always looking for techs,” he said, “and if we can’t find a spot for you, maybe you can see the real Redwing. I’ll make sure of it.”

“Wow, thank you, you… don’t have to do… that,” you stuttered.

“I’d be stupid not to,” he waved off your protests, “you go have fun, you two.”

You backed away and turned to walk away with Reese as you shoved your drone back in your bag with the card, numb with disbelief.

“Wow, I can’t believe…” you trailed off as you mind wandered.

“Me either,” Reese said oddly, “that’s… wild.”

You looked at him and smiled. He didn’t look mad, only serious. You tightened the neck of the knapsack and slung it over your shoulders.

“So what are we doing for lunch?” you asked.

🌠

In the two weeks since you attended the meet and greet, you and Reese kept up mostly online, many arrangements interrupted by your real life responsibilities. It wasn’t until you offered for him to come with you to the SWORD labs that he had any free time for you. After a stressful text exchange with Captain America, you were too anxious to go alone and he was more than welcoming when you asked to bring a friend.

You stood on the subway as Reese sat and played his Switch. He was jittery as you kept your own nerves hidden just beneath the surface. You found it easier to stay standing as you felt as if you might combust if you sat.

“This is so awesome,” he said as he zipped his Switch up in its case, “thanks for inviting me.”

“I figured I owed you since you got the tickets for the meet and greet,” you said, “and it’s been a while.”

“Sorry about that, work’s been nuts,” he stood as you approached your stop and held onto the pole above your hand, “I kinda skipped out on half a day for this.”

“No,” you frowned, “you didn’t have to--”

“And miss a chance to see the real Redwing? Come on,” he scoffed.

“Oh,” you hung your head, “yeah, I guess that’s worth it.”

“I didn’t mean-- I’m happy to see you too, it’s just kinda a big deal,” he said as you approached the door with the few other passengers readying to hop off.

“No, I get it,” you hooked your thumbs under the straps of your knapsack as the doors slid open and you stepped out onto the platform, “I just… I couldn’t go alone. It’s so… scary.”

“Scary? Jeez, Captain America invited you to a job interview!”

“No, that’s not--”

“Uh, yeah, that’s exactly what it is but I promise, I won’t get in the way,” he said as you head for the concrete stairs, “maybe if he needs an extra coder I might piggy back.”

“Uh huh,” you came up onto the New York sidewalk and came into view of the immense SWORD building, “well, I don’t think it’s all that.”

“So why’d you bring this?” he tapped your bag as you neared the large glass doors and men in suits with coiled wires at their ears squared their shoulders.

“He asked me to,” you said as you were approached by one of the big security guards.

“This isn’t public entry,” he said sternly, “no tours.”

“I have an appointment or… I’m expected,” you pulled out your phone and pulled up the electronic pass Sam sent you, “see?”

“Hmm,” he eyed it and took your phone without asking. Another guard came and scanned it with his phone, “checks out but we’re gonna called down Mr. Wilson and get confirmation.”

“Oh, okay,” you fidgeted as he made no move to return your phone. Reese seemed to shrink as the two men spoke into their headset and nodded at each other.

“Hey,” the glass door burst open as Sam appeared and strode towards you, “hey, sorry, these guys are such buzzkills,” he approached and patted one of the men on the shoulder, “they’re with me.” He assured and waved you after him.

“Um, my phone,” you said to the taller man with the buzzed head. He tilted his head wryly and held out your cell between two fingers. You took it and followed Sam to the doors.

“Anyway, we were just going over some basic maintenance today and I thought you might like to observe. See everything that goes into keeping me and my toys in the air,” he smiled as he held the door and nodded at Reese, “nice to see you again, man.”

“You too, Cap...tain,” Reese answered dumbly.

“Sam is fine,” he chuckled back and tailed the two of you across the lobby as he pointed you towards the elevators. He made Reese look even more like a stick bug. “You bring it?”

“Yeah, it’s in my bag,” you stopped yourself from popping your knuckles out of nervousness, “thank you so much for this. I usually work in cubicles so… uh, yeah… I don’t know what I mean.”

“Hey, don’t be nervous, you built that thing all by yourself? I’m sure you’ll fit right in,” he said.

You got off the elevator and had to hold in a gasp at the shining laboratories as the hi-tech equipment gleamed through the glass walls. Sam led you down the curved staircase onto the lab floors as techs and assistants in both lab coats and starched suits milled around the tables along the edge of the room.

“Hey, Greta,” he called out as he showed you to a metal table, “get a look at this.” A woman with twisted red hair approached as Sam tapped his fingers on the table, “show her,” he urged you.

You swung your bag around and took out the little red and silver drone. You placed it in the middle of the table and the woman, Greta, tilted her head curiously.

“You said you can make this thing fly, right?” Sam asked as Reese watched from the other side of the table.

“Um, yep,” you unlocked your phone and brought up the beta app you designed, “just…”

The drone rose slowly and steadied before you as it hovered over the metal. Greta lifted a dark brow and ran a nail along her chin thoughtfully, “cute.”

“Ah, come on, tell me that isn’t awesome? She did it all by herself,” Sam boasted, “so, what do you think? She’d be a great tech, huh?”

“Tech? I…” you blinked and giggled, that was absurd.

“Does she have a resume? A list of her credentials, at least,” Greta rebuffed.

“Greta,” Sam warned playfully, “I’m her credentials. I’m giving her a reference right now. Hire her.”

“What?” you mumbled under your breath and you saw Reese’s eye cling to Sam darkly, almost enviously.

“You know, if I hadn’t let that kid go for hi-jacking the alpha, I’d tell you to go back to breaking your toys,” she warned, “but I trust you and… I cannot say I’m not impressed,” she narrowed her sights at the floating drone, “how long did this take you?”

“A year or so,” you answered, “it was… just meant to be a hobby but--”

“Well, make it your life,” she said tersely, “Wilson, you deal with HR, Sheila likes you better.”

“Leave it all to me,” he grinned and she walked away.

“Here,” he turned back to you, “I’ll show you the operating system for the real deal.”

He ushered you and Reese over to a computer after you lowered your drone. The real Redwing sat on a module next to the screen and Sam punched the keys and took a hooked earpiece from a small stand, “put this on.”

You slipped the earpiece on as he revealed a bracelet and adjusted it on your wrist, a small ring looping up your index finger.

“Bend your finger,” he said and you did it, “lift it up, back… like that.” Redwing rose and you watched in amazement, “tilt your head…” the drone aimed in the same direction as your head, “now back,” it flew higher, “just like that. You’re getting it.”

You steered the drone in a circle and Sam helped you maneuver it back down. He let you hand the controls over to Reese who had more fun with it and nearly took out one of the workers. He apologised and Sam just chuckled, though it didn’t sound so amused.

When Redwing was back in its place, Sam took you all around the room to show you every gadget; his wings, his suit, all his little weapons, and even pulled up some Wakandan schematics of Bucky’s arm. Much of it wasn’t in English however and you could only decipher what was visually laid out.

He left you there for a moment as he excused himself to chat with a tech about his wings. Reese huffed and leaned against the wall. You were quiet, mostly stunned, though your usual reticence could also be blamed.

“I don’t think you should’ve brought me,” he said, “I told you it was a job interview.”

“I didn’t know, I thought you would enjoy it,” you felt awful as Reese had given up trying to hide his jealousy.

“Yeah, yeah,” he said, “well, it is pretty cool but…”

He was interrupted as Sam returned, “sorry about that, guys, I kinda messed up one of the engines on the wings on my last mission.”

You smiled and said it was fine. You hadn’t expected so much attention and thought it would be a brief little show and tell, not an entire tour. You returned to the table where you left your drone and shut down the app. You packed up your Redwing, it felt lighter but you were sure you were just imagining things as your head spun. You looked down at the bold signature across the shell and knotted the drawstring above its nose.

“Sorry, I…” you took your bag from the table, “I hate to bother but is there a bathroom I can use.”

“Oh yeah, just head back up the stairs, left of the elevators,” Sam pointed above, “we’ll wait here, there’s one last thing I wanna show you.”

“Okay, I’ll be right back,” you headed for the stairs and latched onto the railing before you could trip upwards.

You bumbled up the stairs and after a brief moment of blankness, you found your way to the bathroom. You quickly slipped into the stall and spent a minute at the mirror after washing your hands to get your head straight. It felt like a dream, or worse, a joke.

You headed back out and Sam was waiting just by the elevators to your surprise. You pursed your lips and glanced around, “where’s Reese?”

“Oh, yeah, uh, he left,” he said as he shoved his hand in his pocket, “said he wasn’t feeling it.”

“Really?” you shrunk, just a little, “erm… that’s too bad.”

“Yeah, kinda weird, I don’t think I’ve ever just ditched a girlfriend in the middle of the city,” he said.

“Girlfriend? Well… it’s… it’s early,” you rubbed the back of your neck, “I hope he’s okay.”

“Damn, I hope he didn’t ruin it, I still wanted to show you the shield,” he intoned, “but if you’re not feeling up to it--”

“No, no, I’m here, that would be awesome,” you forced a smile.

Had you done something wrong? Was it rude to invite Reese and have all this rubbed in his face? You thought he’d feel worse if you didn’t invite him. Your doubts flurried in your head as you stepped onto the elevator with Sam, chewing your cheek as you tried not to show your disappointment.

You were brought back to the present as the metal doors opened and Sam nudged you as you stared right through the open space. You stepped out ahead of him and he caught up and walked beside you as he explained what was hidden in every room; mostly offices and training gyms.

He unlocked a door at the far curve of the circular hallway and jiggled until it opened. He pushed it open and the lights flicked on automatically.

“Bucky,” he grumbled, “he almost took the handle right off… so now I gotta fight it.”

“Oh,” you entered as he beckoned you inside and you looked around the spacious office.

“You know, there’s lots of paperwork when you take out a whole bridge, even if it is an accident,” he laughed, “and it gives me a place to show this off.”

He went to the wall where the shield was held on small metal hooks and slid it out easily. The vibranium sung in the air as he turned to you and held it out.

“You wanna?” he asked.

“Sure…” you murmured as he turned it around and held it so you could hook your arm through the straps. He let it go and stood back to look you over.

“It suits you,” he said, “got your own Redwing and you hold that like a real champ. Maybe it’s time I step aside.”

You laughed nervously and shook your head. You peeked down at the metal and lifted and angled around as you admired the smooth curve.

“Thanks,” you offered it back to him and he took it with one hand, “for everything.”

“You’re taking the job, right?” he prodded, “it’s perfect.”

“Mmm, well, I got a job--”

“Better than here? Better than suiting up the Cap?” he chided.

You bent your ankle under you and swayed on your feet. It was a great opportunity and way better than your desk job. It just felt like you didn’t deserve it.

“I need an answer. Greta doesn’t like indecision,” he said.

“O-okay, okay,” you surrendered, “I… if I said no, I’d feel even worse.”

“You won’t regret it, promise,” he said, “if you do, Redwing is yours. The real one.”

“No, no, I’m…” you rocked as you gripped the straps of your knapsack, “I’m sure I won’t.”

🌠

Your two weeks notice rolled by. Your boss was less than pleased by the sudden departure but you didn’t care much as you wouldn’t have to deal with him for much longer. You wrapped up your last day with your replacement and left feeling free, though the anxiety of your job loomed on the other side of the weekend.

In those weeks since your visit to the SWORD facility, you hadn’t heard much from Reese. That night when you messaged him to make sure he was okay, he didn’t say much more than ‘just tired’. After that, he was always offline when you signed onto the server and all your co-op requests were declined. You were ready to give up.

Oh well, it was an online thing anyway, you were stupid to think it could work out.

But you were not entirely isolated. To your surprise, you got several messages from Sam, you still couldn’t help but think of him as Captain America and feel like you had nothing interesting to say to a hero. When he found out you liked to game, he even joined you for a session on headset but again, you were hyper focused and quiet. You were flattered that he was trying to make you feel welcome, that he even bothered to get you a job, but it all felt so above you.

When you got home that night, you logged in and sent a request to Reese, just one last attempt. He didn’t even respond, even after fifteen minutes of waiting. You shut down your PC and grabbed your switch instead. You changed as the system updated your Animal Crossing and flopped onto your bed.

You laid across the mattress, one leg over the edge and the other bent. You ran through, planting, fishing, and selling as you tried not to think too much. You’d done enough of that lately. You zoned out as your eyes narrowed at the small screen but in your peripheral, you felt a shadow move. You shrugged it off as the sunlight playing through the curtains and rolled onto your side to ignore it.

You kept on, ready to log out as you didn’t want to spend another Nook Ticket to go to and island and get nothing but flowers. You heard a subtle whirring and glanced over at your computer. It was sleeping and it was never that loud. You noticed that light shift again and turned. There was nothing. Nothing but your dresser and the signed drone, just as you left it.

You squinted and turned off your Switch. You went out to the front room to drop it back in the dock. You stretched and grabbed your phone from your purse to put in an order for some take-out. You stopped as you noticed Sam’s unanswered messages.

‘Whatcha doin’ tonite?’ and several that assumed you must be busy.

‘Sorry, got caught up gaming,’ you replied guiltily.

Your phone shook before you could close out of the chat and you answered as Sam’s name flashed across the top.

“Hello?” you squeaked.

“Hey, hope I’m not buggin’ you but I thought-- stop, Jesus Christ, sorry, we’re on our way to dinner and we hoped you might join us.”

“We?” you echoed.

“Oh, ha, yeah me and Bucky, Greta, and some of the techs. Not too many of us but you’re more than welcome,” he said, “since you start on Monday, it will be good to get to know some people.”

“Y-yeah, for sure,” you answered. It felt more an obligation than an invite. You didn’t want to come across snobbish or lazy even if you’d rather eat fried noodles and watch some trash reality TV.

“Great! I’ll send you the address,” he growled and hissed under his breath, “sorry, again, I’m just dealing with this-- I’ll see you there. Save ya a seat.”

He hung up abruptly and you stood dumbfounded staring at your jacket. You dropped your phone back into your purse and headed back to your room. You had to find something to wear that didn’t seem like you were trying too hard or not trying enough.

As you entered, that same whirring floated through the air and suddenly stopped. You looked around confused; not a fly, not your PC acting up, nothing. You grimaced at the poster with the star emblem across it and went to your dresser to pick out an outfit. It was probably the neighbour fucking around. Apartment living was rarely peaceful.

🌠

The restaurant was bustling as you were met by the hostess at the door. You told her you were there to join the party from SWORD. She showed you to the table and Sam saw you above the din and waved to you then shoved Bucky over on the cushioned bench.

“Right here,” he pointed as he waved you over and stepped aside to let you past. You sidled along and sat, apologizing to Bucky as he rolled his eyes, “not too late.”

You gave your drink order as a waiter came by and shrugged out of your jacket, letting it bunch up around your back. Sam offered his menu and introduced the people you didn’t know at the table; alongside Bucky and Greta, were Xan and Wyatt. You said hello and opted for the fiesta salad as you set aside the menu.

“Are you excited?” Sam asked.

“For what?” Bucky huffed, “she’s gotta put up with you.”

“Hey,” Sam took the lemon off the rim of his glass and tossed it at Bucky, “he lightens up… sometimes.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Bucky grumbled but you could hear the humour in his voice.

You sank into the background as the night went on. You spoke up when you were called on but felt it hard to assert yourself, especially with someone as outspoken as Sam beside you. Still, he made sure to make you feel included when you started to feel forgotten. For that you were grateful and he was right, it made you feel a little less anxious about your first day.

As you came out onto the sidewalk, your wallet painfully lighter, you bid goodbye to everyone but Sam hung around. You clutched your purse and peered down the street.

“Thanks for inviting me,” you said.

“Ah, you know what, I shoulda asked that guy, Reese? How’s it going with him? He your boyfriend yet?”

“Ha, no,” you sucked in your lip and took a deep breath, “I don’t even think we’re friends anymore.”

“Oh no, what happened?” he asked.

“I dunno,” you said wistfully, “but it is what it is.”

“He’s missin’ out. You’re a cool girl,” he said, “building drones for fun. Kinda why I had to snag you, you know? Someone with your skills, that’s dangerous.”

“Dangerous?” you chortled, “no.”

“Well,” he checked his phone, “how are you getting home?”

“I’ll just take the train,” you said, “my place is only about a ten minute ride from here.”

“You sure? I can give you a ride,” he said.

“Nah, really, you’ve done… more than enough.”

“Alright, well, see you Monday?”

“Monday?” you wondered.

“I’ll pop in before I head out,” he said, “got a mission so I might not be around more than that.”

“Okay, Monday,” you confirmed, “see ya.”

🌠

Monday was a whirlwind. It started on a high as Sam suited up and showed off his wings before he headed up to the jet pad. Greta muttered that she was happy he’d be out of your way before she went through the task of getting you acquainted not only with the tech but with their workplace rituals. It was a lot to take in but you did your best to absorb every word and second.

When you got home, you had a folder full of notes and spent too long going over them before you remembered the groan in your stomach. You ate a lazy super of Kraft Dinner and lazed across your bed doing nothing but watching Youtube tutorials on your tablet. You fell asleep early and woke to your alarm and a dead tablet.

You got up, got dressed, ran out, and did it all again. The first week dragged by and yet it felt like you didn’t have enough time. On Friday, you got home and fell across the couch in your work clothes. You held your phone above you and scrolled dozily through your feed.

A dot popped up and you flicked over to your notifications. The selfie you posted on your first day at the lab with Sam in his suit had lots of hearts but your first comment was less than pleasant. Beside Reese’s icon was all caps: MUST BE EASY SLEEPING YOUR WAY INTO A JOB!

Your heart pattered and you sat up. You deleted the comment but another soon appeared; several as you kept deleting and finally blocked him. ‘Slut, whore, dumb bitch…’ it was the last thing you expected from him.

You opened Discord and clicked on his chat. ‘What’s going on? Why are you doing this?’

The text flicked across the bottom that Reese was typing but he stopped and you sat there for what felt like forever before his response popped up.

‘I can’t believe you brought me all the way there to rub my face in all that shit. And for what? You should’ve just told me I had no chance and I woulda left you alone. If you wanna fuck Sam Wilson, do it, but don’t chain me along like your little bitch boy. Get fucked slut.’

You flinched as you read it and re-read it. You typed shakily as your eyes watered. ‘I’m not fucking Sam and I wouldn’t. I brought you there because I wanted to and thought you would like it. I didn’t know you felt so strongly about it. But I see what you think of me so I only wish you the best and hope you find peace.’

You sent the message but just as quickly, you were blocked from sending any more. You tossed your phone and fell back against the couch. That must have been why he took off but you couldn’t figure out how he thought you of all people were sleeping with Sam Wilson. Really? He was just another incel after all.

You phone jangled with your annoying ringtone and you grabbed it, expecting to be insulted by Reese again but it was Sam calling. You really weren’t in the mood to talk with him. You just wanted to be left alone. But you couldn’t just ignore Captain America.

“Hello?” you answered.

“Hey, I just got back in town. Whatcha doing?” you could hear the wind in the speaker.

“Just got home. I’m exhausted. Probably gonna just nap.”

“You okay?” he asked after a moment.

“Fine,” you said dully.

“Don’t sound fine,” he said, “what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you insisted.

“Oh, so it’s not what that boy said on your photo?”

“You saw that?”

“You tagged me, remember?”

“Oh, yeah, no, it’s…”

“Shit, don’t listen to him. He’s just a boy, he blew his chance and he’s bitter about it,” he said, “how about I come over, make sure you’re really okay?”

“No, I don’t think--”

“Ah, come on, don’t make me worry all night about you,” he chided.

“Sam, you really--” There was a knock at the window and you froze. “Sam?”

The line clicked and you heard the tapping again. You lowered your phone and went to the window. Outside, geared up in his wings and suit, Sam hovered before the glass. You blinked and he rapped again. You snapped out of your shock and unlocked the window and slid it up.

“What are you doing?” you asked, “wait? How do you know where I live?”

He grabbed onto the frame and hooked his leg through as he retracted his wings. He bent under and sat half-in and half-out of the window, “forgive me? I did a bit of snooping in HR.”

“I told you not to come. I really don’t feel up to-- It’s really weird that you’re here,” you sat as he ducked pulled his other leg through and stood, “Sam, I think you should go.”

“You shouldn’t be alone, especially after that moron sending you that shit,” he said coolly as he took off his tinted goggles.

“Well, I want to be alone, so you should--”

“I mean, I haven’t even fucked you yet and he’s jealous,” he snickered, “so I guess we should give him a real reason.”

“What are you talking about? That’s… gross. You should go--”

“Come on, girl, you think this was really about a drone,” he tossed his goggles down and set his shield on the chair as he strode around the room, “convenience. I want you close.”

“I don’t--” you looked down at your phone, “get out, Sam.”

The tone of your finger pressing ‘9’ sounded and he spun quickly to face you. He stormed over to you before you could hit ‘1’ and ripped it from your grasp.

“You’re gonna call the cops and say what? I’m Captain America,” he snarled, “but you can just call me Cap.”

He winked and threw your phone out the window smoothly. You gasped as he chuckled and lifted his wings off his back. He leaned them against the wall and stretched out his shoulders. He looked around as he twisted his tongue between his teeth.

“I like this, looks cozy,” he toed the side of the couch with his boot, “look better with you on it.”

You watched him stroll around the coffee table as he unzipped the collar of his suit. The scene was like some tainted nightmare. Maybe you’d fallen asleep. You were so tired you must have just passed out but you weren’t waking up.

You spun around and ran into the small hallway that led to your door. You were caught from behind, pulled back by the nape of your blazer as Sam tutted. His arm went around your waist and he lifted you off your feet. He turned and carried you back into the front room. You kicked and writhed as his strength enwrapped you.

“Please, please,” you begged, “I… I don’t understand. This isn’t-- this isn’t what I wanted. I didn’t--”

“Baby girl,” he cooed as he brought you close to the couch, “be good and listen to your Captain. Now stop this.”

“No, no,” you gulped at air as the panic rose in you, “I never-- please, you don’t have to do this--”

“You gotta do what I say,” he snapped and flung you onto the couch, “I don’t want to make you.”

You looked at him as you trembled in fear and disbelief. This couldn’t be. He was Sam Wilson, the Captain America; he was a nice guy.

“You have one minute to get naked,” he said and you just gaped at him, “you gonna make me repeat myself?”

Your throat tightened as his dark eyes bore into you. His hand balled to a fist and finally you found an ounce of strength. You pushed your legs over the edge of the couch and slipped out of your blazer. You stood carefully and watched him cautiously. You had to look away as your hands quivered over the buttons of your blouse.

You turned and folded your shirt over your blazer. You could hear him behind you as you unbuttoned your pants and pushed them down your legs. The question of what you were doing flitted through your head but the fear pulsed through you and took over.

“Ah,” he sighed and you peeked back as he freed himself of the top half of his stealth suit.

You turned back and hesitated. You knew there was more, you knew what he wanted, but your body locked up as your fingers curled and your insides knotted.

“Let me get that,” he came close and his fingers tickled along your shoulder blades and he unhooked your bra, “hmmm,” he let go and the cups fell off your chest, “almost there, baby.”

He stepped back and you shuddered. You dropped your bra and hooked your fingers under your panties. You wiggled them down a little at the time and heard the intake of breath as you pulled them down entirely. You stood still, unable to move, too mortified to face him.

“Come on, baby,” he said, “get comfortable.”

You inhaled and turned slowly. You went to the couch as he shed his undershirt and added it to the pile atop his shield. He looked at you and tilted his head as he licked his bottom lip. He snarled as he took in the sight of you and pointed you to the couch.

You sat and hugged yourself as he stripped off his pants along with his boxers in a single swipe. You flicked your eyes away as you glimpsed his hard dick as he stood straight and you stared at the open window. You smushed your lips together in horror and held in the tide of tears.

He came closer and you tried to tune out the room. This couldn’t happen. It just couldn’t. You felt his hands on your knees and he urged your legs apart. You resisted for a moment then let him guide your limbs. It would be over sooner if you just let it happen.

He knelt on the floor as his hands kneaded along your thighs and framed your vee as he leaned over your lap. You winced and he kept your legs from closing as he pushed his body between them. His thumb grazed your folds and he pushed between them. You let out a hushed gasp as he swirled around your clit.

“See, it’s not so bad to be good, is it, baby?” he purred, “you’re wet already.”

He slid his thumb up and down and spread the wetness along your cunt. You were shocked and humiliated by your obvious arousal. You shouldn’t be turned on by this. Your body was not listening to your mind, it was obeying his touch.

“Mmm,” he hummed as he turned his hand and poked along your entrance with one finger.

He pushed inside and you clenched around his intrusion. He pulled in and out and added another finger. Your nails clawed at the cushion and you pressed back into the couch. He kept his thumb on your clit as he worked his fingers inside of you and the tension clustered between his fingertips.

“Oh, baby, listen to you,” he bet forward and replaced his thumb with his tongue as he kept fingering you.

You turned your face up to the ceiling and squeezed your eyes shut. You bit your lip as the ripples radiated from your core and your breath hitched. His hand moved faster as he suckled at your bud and his free hand groped your chest blindly. You slapped your hand over your mouth as you came, your back arching as you pushed into him.

He teased you through your climax and pulled away only as you quaked and whined at his unyielding touch. He drew his fingers out of you and sat back to lick them clean. You peeked down at him and quickly away as his eyes blazed back at you.

“Up,” he stood and stroked himself shamelessly as he strode around the coffee table, “put your hands on there.”

You rose unsteadily, legs shaking beneath you as your entire being felt like jelly. You went to him and turned your back to him. You bent over and he grabbed your ass and squeezed with a growl. You gripped the table and hung your head as the cool air grazed your cunt.

He shoved his hand between your legs and rubbed you again. He stepped closer and bent his knees as he lined himself up with your entrance, sliding in between his fingers as he spread you wide. You choked as his tip poked inside and he eased himself inch by inch into you. He held your hip as he reached his limit and groaned.

“Baby, oh god damn,” he thrust so that your whole body jerked. It was painfully delightful. Of the few men you’d been with, he was the biggest, or at least the thickest.

He rocked slowly and a moan escaped your lips. Despite the torturous pressure of his intrusion, you could ignore the pleasure laced in the pain. His hand brushed up your as and along your back. He bent over you as his fingers curled over your shoulder and he pressed his body to yours as he fucked you.

You kept your head down as you tried to measure your breaths and the pathetic noises rising from you. He pushed his hand down your stomach and between your legs again to play with your clit. He moved his legs against yours and forced them together so your cunt hugged him even tighter. He grunted and you whimpered as his fingers added to the new pressure.

He sped up so that the table scraped against the floor but kept you up with one arm around you. He rutted into you wildly as his sultry voice filled your chest and his heat consumed you. You cried out as another orgasm swept through you and your cunt quivered around him desperately.

He pulled you up suddenly so you stood on your toes. He tilted into you as he brought his arms up around yours and tined his fingers behind your head. His flesh slapped yours loudly and you opened your eyes as you heard a familiar whirring. The drone flew before you, the signature on its shell, but a light blinking at its nose. Yours didn’t have a light.

“What--”

“Ah, yeah,” he rasped through rampant breaths, “looks like they got mixed up.”

“Huh--” you sucked in your breath as he thrust harder and deeper.

“I didn’t mind, he helped me keep an eye on you,” he said as he nuzzled you above his hands, “you look so cute in your little tee shirts.”

You groaned and leaned your head against him as another rush of fear was met with unwanted bliss. You murmured senselessly as he picked up his pace and the drone came closer. He purred as you felt his muscles tighten.

“Don’t worry,” he puffed, “I’ll make sure the boy knows he was right.”

He buried himself in you, nearly taking you off your feet, and twitched as he emptied himself into you. He rocked his hips subtly as he rode out his climax and stilled you as his voice gristled to rampant pants. His arms fell to embrace you and he kept you flush to him as he lingered inside.

“Or I can keep that little video to myself…” he brought his hand up to cradle your chin and poked his finger along your lower lip, “it’s all up to you, baby.”

#sam wilson #dark sam wilson #dark!sam wilson #one shot #sam wilson x reader #fic #dark!fic #dark fic #tfatws #falcon #captain america #mcu #marvel #bucky barnes #avengers

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mi6-cafe · 4 years ago

Photo

WEEK 3 DRABBLES ARE HERE!

Now, let’s refresh your memory about the prompt

We have asked our writers to write between 100 and 150 words of an acrostic drabble for NO TIME. (We wanted each paragraph to start with the given letters.)

THEY DID SUCH AN AWESOME JOB!

Now, how to vote?

Yup, that’s pretty much the method, although the writing of the individual feedback full of love is very much optional. (And yes, we’re reusing this meme from last week.)

Read the drabbles below the line (or on wordpress) and GO VOTE when you’re done!

Title: Little Prick Author: sorion Warnings: none Summary: Just some bondy banter.

Now, that was just rude, Q thought, sipping his tea with his eyes on the computer screen and giving a weak attempt at not looking amused.

Other than the potted plant in the corner, nobody was convinced of said attempt, and neither was Bond at the other end of the satellite connection, and he couldn't even see Q.

The hand gesture Bond waved at the hidden camera was still rude, though less original.

"I can hear you laugh into your tea; don't think I can't," Bond's crystal-clear voice echoed through Q-Branch.

"Mmm," Q hummed in agreement. "I have to get my kicks from somewhere, Bond, and you're usually a reliable source."

Ever the gentleman, Bond conceded with grace. "Alright, you win," he said. "Provided, of course, that you stop laughing for long enough to get me out of here, so I can come home."

Title: White Knight Author: sunaddicted Warnings: none Summary: bratty agents really do get on Bill’s nerves

"No."

"Oh, come on!"

Tanner arched an eyebrow at the raised tone of voice 009 was directing at him: he definitely didn't appreciate being talked to in such manner by a bratty agent - how the man was Q's favorite (besides Bond, of course), Bill would never know.

"I'm not messing around with the line-up just because you want to go to Malaysia."

M cleared his throat from the entrance of Tanner's office, looking coldly at 009. "Of course you're not. You should go get kitted for your own mission, 009: I believe R is waiting for you in Q-Branch."

Exhaling loudly, 009 pursed his lips and left with a stiff and parting nod - it was absolutely satisfying to watch. "You didn't have to come and save me," Bill pointed out, smiling up at the other even as M bent down to kiss him. "Thank you, though."

Title: Another Door Opens Author: soufflegirl91 Warnings: None Summary: Eve contemplates a door, and what led her to it

Now or never.

One way or another, things were about to change forever. In a way, everything from the moment she had shot James Bond off that bridge in Turkey had been leading to this.

The door loomed ahead, waiting for her to take the next step. There had been a time when she thought that with that one shot, she had ruined things forever. That any opportunity she had to prove herself in the field, any chance of a career, had crashed into the water with Bond’s body.

Instead, it had merely opened another door for her. Given her a chance to learn things she never would have in the field. The people, the politics. All the little games the field agents never saw.

“M,” her secretary greeted.

Eve nodded back at her, and walked through the door to her new office.

Title: Inside Information Author: starrboned / MrKsan Warnings: content warning: alcohol Summary: Bond is back again and bets are placed.

“No,” Q said over his glass of gin, finishing it off in one swig. “Not doing this again.”

“Or you could stop being such a wet blanket and place your bet already,” Moneypenny said, poking him in the ribs. He swatted at her, scooting closer to Tanner. “We all know Bond will ‘retire’ soon enough.”

“That’s all everyone’s talking about,” Q huffed, staring at his empty glass. “He’s back, he’s off again - it’s a never-ending cycle.” Almost wish he'd stay gone, he didn't say.

“It is,” Tanner sighs, nudging his half-full pint towards Q. “But even Mallory wagered a full six months."

“Mallory did?” Q almost choked on Tanner’s beer. “That’s - that’s unusual of him.”

“Eh, said something about how ‘Bond has something to prove' this time around.“ Tanner grinned. Q felt his cheeks warm under his knowing gaze. "Maybe he has some inside information, huh?"

Title: No Time Like The Present Author: storm_of_sharp_things Warnings: none Summary: Felix had been wondering if it was ever going to happen

“Not that you need to answer, but did you ever sleep with him?” Felix looked up from his glass as MI6’s Chief of Staff dropped into the chair next to him at the bar and quirked an eyebrow. It wasn’t how Felix would’ve started this conversation, but...

“Once,” he admitted. He tossed back the rest of his drink. “You?”

Tanner nodded, his gaze distant. “Once,” he said with a faint smile. “Seemed a good idea at the time.”

“I don’t regret it,” Felix said. Then he shrugged and smirked. “I think we’d have shot each other if we’d really tried to make it work. But I do miss him.”

“Me too.” Tanner paused long enough that Felix wondered if he’d follow through. “Listen, I’ve got some good bourbon back at mine. Want a drink where it’s quieter?”

“Easy answer,” Felix grinned. “Hell yes, thought you’d never ask, let’s go.”

Title: Entanglement Author: Nana-chan Warnings: Summary: In which 007 and Q trade places...

“Now take your clothes off slowly,” said Bond softly. “Goddammit, Q, I said slowly.”

“Oh, do piss off, Bond,” Q hissed, dropping his shirt to the floor while Bond continued to watch him through the CCTV live feed. “Now, help me with the leathers.”

“That actually sounds very sexy, coming from you,” Bond said conversationally, his eyes drifting all over Q’s bare midriff before focusing on the contraption strapped to him.

“I suppose it does, yeah,” replied Q archly. “Never mind my predicament.”

“Mm-hmm,” said Bond, unfazed. “Not enough time. The straps will have to stay for now. I’ll start, then.”

Entanglements such as this were usually Bond’s lot, not his, but what was he to do when someone had attached an IED to his person? At least he’d dispatched his would-be kidnapper. He sighed, relieved, as Bond typed in the code he’d devised to remotely disable the ticking bomb.

Title: Time Well Spent Author: IrishWitch58 / captain-magicalkitty Warnings: None Summary: A conversation over coms.

“Nine bloody days and the target hasn't moved at all.” Q could almost see the exasperated expression. Bond hated the need for surveillance and made his displeasure known.

“Once he does, I'm sure the resulting excitement will more than make up for your current boredom,” Q soothed. He managed to hide his smile from the rest of the branch late shift.

There was a disgusted snort from the coms. “You'll have to do better than that to make this up to me.” The tone was suggestive but only in the general Bond default setting. Q wasn't concerned about anyone overhearing.

“If you're still angling after an exploding pen, dream on.”

“Miser,” Bond accused, fond tone at odds with the statement.

Eventually the target would move and Bond would get the job done. Until then, they enjoyed time spent together, even far apart.

Title: N O T I M E Author: hexiva Warnings: Character death Summary: Bond confronts Blofeld.

No time to think as James rounds the corner, gun in hand, and comes face to face with Blofeld, with Franz.

Only hatred in Franz’s eyes, he reaches for his gun.

Trigger burning against James’ finger, all he has to do is pull it, end this, end this, but -

Ivy leaves underfoot, the sky blue above them, and they’re bickering but they’re just children still, not the killers they will become, and Franz laughs as James trips, and he reaches down to offer him a hand -

Many years ago, they were brothers. Franz knew him before he was 007. He’s the last man left who did. Everyone else is gone, and James is tired of being alone and tired of being a killer.

Every muscle in his body aches with weariness as he lets his gun drop. And he looks Franz in the eyes as Franz pulls the trigger.

Title: A Change of The Story Author: scarytheory Warnings: (a little bit of) sci-fi Summary: She has seen the future. What she’ll do with it is up to her.

No time to waste when she’s got a glimpse of the future. She had seen Bond devastated by loss and full of rage. She had seen Q who was absorbed in his job, bitter and sad. And herself – composed and nice and so, so lonely. Or was it possible to change it? She decided to go to that beach instead of Bond. But before she left, she whispered to him: “You’ve got a secret admirer in the Q branch.” Will it be enough? And the girl on the beach… will she manage to save her? “Tracy!” she screamed as she was trying to get her out of the water.

“I don’t know you.” Not yet.

“Moneypenny, Eve Moneypenny.”

Eve decided that this time she wasn't going to let them be burned by the inevitability. This time, Tracy would live.

#10

Title: Let the Record Show Author: anyawen Warnings: None Summary: They've read the same reports, but have arrived at differing conclusions.

"No, I don't think so," Q disagrees with forced lightness. "Not this time."

"Oh, honey," Eve sighs, not fooled in the least. She reaches across the table to squeeze his hand. "Every time. He always comes back."

"There's no reason for him to come back, not anymore," Q insists. "M is dead, and he's finished the last mission she ever gave him. He can retire now. Live a peaceful life with a beautiful woman. And a beautiful car."

"If you think he'll be happy with a peaceful life, you don't understand him as well as you think," Eve laughs.

"Maybe he doesn't want peaceful," Q allows, "but we've read his file. He doesn't want m— this either, or he wouldn't keep trying to leave."

"Eventually, he will come home. And when he does," Eve says, sitting back and angling to speak to someone over Q's shoulder, "you should tell him."

#11

Title: TO DIE Author: Merc / moon_of_mercury Warnings: This one is depressing. Sorry! Summary: The End.

Never again...

Observing from behind his screen, Q takes in the smoking, crumbling scene of destruction. Police cars with flashing lights and blaring sirens swarm the streets. A familiar silhouette blends in with the by-passers, slipping out of his view around the corner.

This is the last time James Bond holsters his gun, dusts off his suit, and heads for the airport to catch a flight Moneypenny arranged for him.

“It’s done,” Q says into the expectant stillness of the room. It hurts a little, even though he’s relieved. The showdown could have gone so much worse, but this is just as final.

Memories of this mission will haunt him for different reasons than usual. Their blazing victory is a bittersweet consolation.

Everything ends here; even those things that never began.

#12

Title: Mission Goal: Ideas Author: Venstar /1amvengeance Warnings: none Summary: well someone had to think of something.

“Now you're just showing off.” James’s voice drawled against Q’s ear.

“Oh, I'm showing off. Did you have any other ideas? No. Spies should have faster reflexes than asking me to 'Quick hide us!' My time and equipment are very expensive.” Q hissed quietly. They were still on a mission after all.

“That kiss was a far better idea than anything I had in mind. I'm happy to pay your asking price. Are you okay Q, your face has gone all red.”

“I will murder you in your sleep. I will end you. I will scatter your body parts to the farthest corners of the globe as a warning to those that think about blaming me for coming up with all the ideas!”

“Maybe instead of murder, you should think about our target. He’s escaping.”

“Escaping my arse. Someone is going to pay for your lack of ideas.”

#13

Title: Losing and Having Author: solarmorrigan Warnings: None. Summary: Bond reflects and knows he can't have it any other way.

Never in all his life had Bond felt quite this level of terror.

Or – well, no. That wasn’t quite true.

There had been one other time.

In the murky water, watching everything he’d allowed himself to love and depend on slip away into oblivion. The fear had clutched him then, shaken him and wrecked him.

Maybe he should have listened to his own damn self when he’d designated the heart as nothing but a target.

Even so, even knowing this, Bond clutched Q’s hand, eyes locked on his bruised and battered quartermaster who had only just returned to him, and knew it was worth it. The fear of loss was nothing against the euphoria of having.

#14

Title: Dreisamkeit (Or: Bliss comes in threes) Author: Misha / artsytarts / jelly-mish Warnings: Sickly sweet fluff, watch out for cavities Summary: Della, Felix and James are toying with the idea of having a lazy day in.

Nestled between the warm bodies of her boys, Della felt content.

“Occasionally, I’d like to just... stay here. All day.”, she said, letting her fingers brush through their hair in lazy strokes. James tightened his grip around her and made an approving noise.

Then the beeping started. Felix moved, banging his fist on the alarm clock. “Gosh darn it,” he growled. Della pouted in response, until a thought struck her. What if they took a sick day? Food poisoning? Good enough story. She suggested it out loud.

“If you take the blame,” James mumbled sleepily.

“Me? If anyone, it’d be Felix,” Della grinned at her husband's dirty look and carried on: “Remember when you forgot to add water to the pasta? The fumes were noxious.”

Eventually, reluctantly, they broke up their haven of safety and rolled out of bed. Della sighed. There never seemed to be enough time.

#15

Title: Augment Author: oldestcharm Warnings: n/a Summary: Every week Q argues his case and wins. "No," M says, squinting and displeased. "Absolutely not."

"One million," Q attempts with a half-hearted smile, but he knows well enough that it wouldn't work in any other situation. He's not even trying that hard at this point, because he knows he'll win this argument every single time. "It's not that much. I should probably ask ten times that with the amount of shit Bond breaks. Remember last week? I deserve a better budget."

"Then stop supplying him with expensive equipment," M suggests, unsympathetic at best.

"I'll have you know he'll get his hands on it whether I supply it or not," Q says crossly.

"Maybe you aren't doing a good enough job at security."

"Exactly, I need a better budget!" Q insists, eyeing M with a bit of a manic expression as he sets down the tablet in front of him. "Now sign it or deal with the consequences."

Go Vote!

#00Q #00Q fic #drabbles #james bond fanfiction #james bond #LDWS #ldws 2021 #ldws2021

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oh-boy-me · 3 years ago

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Obey Me! Card Planning Tips

Hello! This game causes us all a lot of pain and suffering, but I’m MANAGING (?), so I thought I’d give what I’d consider some tips to maybe make things feel slightly more possible for you :)

I’ll split it into three parts and put it all under a read more.

Team Strength Calculation

Team Preparation

General Tips for Resources and Daily DP

Part 1: Team Strength Calculation

Each stage has 2 sins tied to it, as you’ve probably noticed. In chapters 1-20, the stats of these two sins are boosted for ALL cards (character and support) by 15%.*

In chapters 1-20, your team’s strength is calculated with the following formula:

Strength = 1.15(AttributeSin1Total) + 1.15(AS2Total) + Other5SinsTotal

For example, let’s look at Lesson 10-20, which is a Gluttony/Lust battle. My team is composed of Pandas Mean Profit (Greed), A Special Ceremony (Lust), and Colorful Panic (Pride). And I’m using zero support cards just so I only have to add up 3 numbers.

Strength = 1.15(24338) + 1.15(34921) + 122736 = 190884**

Keep in mind that the buffs only apply to the attribute sin scores. If the battle is Gluttony/Lust, the Pride scores will stay at their base values. This is the case for all lessons up through chapter 20, both normal and hard mode.

However, from Lesson 21 onwards, there are two changes. One, there is a primary sin and a secondary sin for each battle, marked by which icon is bigger in the preparation screen. (There always has been, but now it matters which is which.) In boss battles, both are primary. Second, the buffs have changed drastically.

Every card has its main sin, obviously, and its strength in that sin is the strongest. However, they still have strength in the other 6 sins as well. There are two non-main sins that a card is very strong in, two that it is average in, and two that it is terrible in.

The percent increase is now dependent on how good a card is in the battle's two attribute sins. (Remember that these buffs still only affect that sin, not the card’s total strength.)

If a card is the same sin as the battle’s primary sin, that sin gets a 160% buff

If a card is the same sin as the battle’s secondary sin, that sin gets a 90% buff

If a card’s second or third best sin is the battle’s primary sin, that sin gets a 30% buff

If a card’s second or third best sin is the battle’s secondary sin, that sin gets a 10% buff

Any sins lower than third best no longer get a buff

I’m not going to make a formula this time because it’s too long and situational. But let’s look at that same 3-card team again, this time with Lesson 21-5, a Lust/Gluttony stage in that order.

Pandas Mean Profit has an average Lust score, so it gets no bonus. Its Gluttony is its 3rd best sin, so that gets a 10% buff (10752 > 11827)

A Special Ceremony is a Lust card, so its Lust gets a 160% buff (17308 > 45000). Its Gluttony sucks, though, so that doesn’t get a bonus.

Colorful Panic has Lust as its second best sin, so it gets a 30% buff (10423 > 13549). Gluttony is its third best, so that gets a 10% buff too (9866 > 10852).

With the new system, the team’s Lust score has skyrocketed from 40158 to 65739. However, its Gluttony score dropped from 27987 to 26399.

This means that the sins of your cards suddenly matter more in battle. (And honestly I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I know people complain that it makes it harder, but. If my Comedy team in A3! is made entirely of Action/Drama cards with poor Comedy, I shouldn’t expect that team to do well. Idk why people think that shouldn’t apply to Obey Me.) Which brings us to part 2.

By the way, colored glow sticks raise the card’s total strength by 10%, and rainbow glow sticks raise it by 30%.

* It’s actually like 14.99% but it’s effectively the same. The “slightly under but so close that I’m just rounding for significant figures” thing will be consistent for all of these buffs.

** The actual in-game strength is 190881, 3 points off due to the .99% thing.

Part 2: Team Preparation

I’m so sorry. But someone has to say it. Are you listening? Great.

URs aren’t automatically better than SSRs. Honestly, they never were. They ESPECIALLY aren’t now. You’re not losing the battle because you’re using SSRs. You’re losing the battle because you’re throwing Wrath cards at a Sloth opponent.

Morning Voice is an Envy SSR card. My copy of the card is only level 10, and in a Lesson 21+ Envy battle, its Envy score is 6866.

What is my Level 90 UR Colorful Panic’s Envy score in the same battle?

3489.

Colorful Panic is a higher rarity and 80 levels higher. It has worse Envy. Why? Because Envy is its worst sin.

Obviously you aren’t going to be using a level 10 card in a battle, so for a more realistic standpoint, my copy of Resentment Runs Deep (SSR Envy) has 46108 Envy in the same battle. That’s 13x better than the UR.

I’ll repeat it one more time before I move on. The sin scores of a card are far more important than the rarity of the card. A random SR card of the right sin is better than a UR with no sin bonus. The most impressive thing about a UR is how hard it is to get one.

Anyway, what does this mean? Is it hopeless?

Well, if you wanted to binge all three seasons within the first month of playing, yes. But let’s assume that’s not the case. (Side note, but the feeling that our cards are never good enough is definitely exacerbated by the aggressive speed at which they release new lessons combined with the fandom’s apparent allergy to spoiler warnings, but that’s a point for another post maybe.)

Remember that having URs isn’t actually all that important. Now remember the sheer amount of SSRs they release since they also aggressively release events. Also remember that with every 10-pull, you’ll get at least one SSR+. (Also remember to never do single pulls; they're not worth it at all.) If you’re really struggling with a lot of battles, here’s how you can improve your scores while focusing on as few cards as possible.

Open an Excel document or Google Sheets page and make a chart that looks something like this:

[Image Description: An 8x8 Excel sheet. The columns are labelled with each of the seven deadly sins, and the rows are labelled Cards 1 through 3 and Support 1 through 3, with a blank row in between. The rest of the sheet is blank.]

Now choose a card you want to use. Doesn’t matter why you want to use it, maybe you like how it looks, maybe you worked really hard to get it, maybe you like its ability, maybe it’s just your current strongest card. I don’t care. For my chart I’m gonna use Pandas Mean Profit because it’s really pretty and I got it from the 100-pull pity reward.

Look at your card’s top 3 sins and put them into the chart. For the character cards, note who the card is, because you can’t double up. For reference later, also note whether it’s 1st, 2nd or 3rd best. (Be sure to do this through Contacts and not a battle so there are no buffs skewing the scores.)

Once that’s in, choose another card you like for a different sin and input that card’s top 3 sins. Envy is still completely empty, so I’ll put Resentment Runs Deep in next. It’s an SSR, but I really love the Refresh Team ability. Do this for one character card and one support card of each sin at first, if you can. It doesn’t matter what level they are right now. Then fill in whatever blanks you have with cards that specialize in that sin.

If a sin comes up more than 3 times, keep whichever ones are strongest in that sin without overlapping characters. Play around with it until you get something that works for you. Keep note of the sins you’re lacking cards for.

[Image Description: The same Excel Sheet as before, except filled in with various Obey Me card names. The cells in rows 2 through 4 are color coded to match the character of the card. Each cell marks in parentheses how strong the card is in the sin of the column it’s in from 1 to 3.]

Mine looks like this. This chart isn’t perfect (if you look, none of my cards had Envy as a good non-main sin, and Pandas and Bunny have too much overlap for the same character), but it works as a rushed example. I used the cell colors to mark the characters.

Are these the teams you should be using for each battle? No, obviously not. First off there’s no single-sin battle, and second off the game will still build the teams for you.

BUT, this greatly lowers the amount of cards you need to pour resources into. Instead of 42 cards, with this chart I only have to focus on 18 cards in order to be guaranteed that all my cards get at least a SLIGHT boost in each battle. The best-case scenario would drop it down to 14 cards.

Later on, once you’ve managed the cards on your chart, the next thing to do would be to find main sin cards to replace those that are only third best in their sin. On mine I’d definitely focus on a Gluttony character card next, but in general Sloth is the one you want to be the most proactive about.

That should help you get through at least Season 2. Season 3 is admittedly where the difficulty actually IS ridiculous, but Season 2 really isn’t as hard as we’ve been saying. It just requires more planning than “the first three URs I ever got.”

I do still apologize for the resources and Grimm it’ll take, though :’)

Part 3: General Tips for Resources and Daily DP

This section is just some extra tidbits to help you have the resources to get cards and upgrade them.

[Image Description: The “hard to swallow pills” meme. The pills read “You don’t need every single card and unless you’re a whale eventually you’re going to have to prioritize some events and ignore others or you’ll never have the resources to improve the cards you already have.”]

However, events ARE good for farming Grimm, so it’s not the end of the world if you want every SSR. The only issue will come up when you need hard mode items and never have any AP, but it’s manageable.

If you’re going to log in more than once throughout the day, you can do the 2-1 job distribution. If not, do three jobs with one character each so you get the daily task done

To save money for leveling up your good cards, complete the devil tree daily mission with N-rank cards.

Use vouchers over DP whenever you can (and use Raven to get vouchers). The 99 DP level-up sale IS worth it if you can afford it, because that’s like 50% off a 10-pull once you do two.

I’m not certain, but I THINK skill level also influences how often an ability activates? I feel like my Lv 10 SSR cards activate often but my Lv 1 URs never do. So if you’re relying on an ability, the permanent SSRs might be worth looking at over limited time cards.

Anyway, I hope this helps at all in our mutual suffering.

#obey me #gameplay talk

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astringofmadhousefloozies · 4 years ago

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Magicam Live

Vil’s guest is a pest. Contains coarse language, people being catty bitches, and more telling than showing.

You want more, check my Twisted Wonderland Fanfiction tag. If you liked it, let me know!

~*~*~*~

Transcript of Last Week's Magicam Live From *schoenheit_official

Vil: Hello my dearest fans! As promised, I will be showing off my newest capsule makeup collection, to be released this Monday exclusively at Feathersweep Cosmetics. However, due to high demand, instead of simply demonstrating on myself, I thought I would show that anyone could be half as beautiful as me with these!

[He holds a hand out to the side.]

V: Please welcome my fellow student at Night's Raven College, Yuu.

Yuu: Yo.

[A girl with short, dark hair and tired eyes sits down beside him. Spotty and plump, with a notable double chin. She's notably underdressed, compared to Vil.]

Y: I am she. I'm *donegotisekaid, if you haven't seen yet. Full of genuine memes from another universe, as well as me figuring this place out, and pictures of my not-cat.

V: She's simply been begging me for a makeover!

Y: He asked me if I'd do it, actually.

[Vil stops and takes a deep breath, clearly irritated.]

V: Yes, well. You've prepared?

Y: I scrubbed my face real good and managed to leave most of my pimples alone, if that's what you mean.

[Vil sighs]

V: As much as you're capable of, clearly. We'll start with the primer.

Y: [with a smile] Didn't you already give me one on how to act in this?

[Vil pinched the bridge of his nose, regret pouring from every cell in his body.]

V: Just lie back and be quiet until I'm done with you.

[Yuu looks at the camera, but says nothing. There's an audible snicker from behind the camera.]

[There are a few quiet minutes where Vil prepares her face, before selecting a foundation.]

V: So, is there a reason you don't wear makeup? You could look quite nice with it.

Y: Few reasons. It's a lot of effort, and I tire easily. I don't really like the feel of it on my face, and I tend to touch my face a lot anyways, so it doesn't last. It's a lot of money, and I break out very easily.

V: I can see that. Don't you use face wash?

Y: You should have seen me when I did use it! Much worse.

V: Ugh. I'll give you something later. And none of these have a good tone for you.

Y: Just pick the closest! I'll end up wrecking it by a few hours from now anyways.

[Vil rolled his eyes.]

V: Rook, any questions from the chat?

[A familiar accented voice from offscreen]

Rook: *stellargems wants to know how Yuu found herself at NRC.

Y: Transdimensional bullshit. I'm here until we figure out how I can get home. It's not bad, I don't miss it much.

V: Yuu even has her own dorm so she doesn't have to bother anyone.

Y: Not that it stops me.

V: [sotto voce] Don't we all know.

Y: If they kept you in a building with four usable rooms total and no electricity, you'd be out and about too. At least the ghosts there are really nice and help me out.

V: Do you kiss these ones too, or was that a one time thing?

Y: If I hadn't kissed her we'd be down a student and you and half the people I hang out with would be paralyzed, so don't make fun.

[Vil stops to regard the camera.]

V: To clarify, there was an incident with a ghost princess causing a lot of trouble at the school a few months ago. Yuu decided to kiss her to fix everything, because she's both stupid and deeply strange.

Y: It was really fun until I started dying.

V: All her blood was on the outside. It was disgusting.

Y: It did work though!

V: Keep telling yourself that, you didn't kiss the one you really wanted to.

[Yuu gives him the finger, and Vil shoves her hand down.]

R: *vilpleasefathermychildren asks-

[Yuu sputters with laughter. Vil just winks at the camera with a smile that doesn't reach his eyes.]

R: They want to know if there'll be a coupon code for the new release.

V: There will! It'll be released via the official fanclub email Sunday night.

Y: It'll be a whole three percent off and you have to pay to access it.

V: Stop that.

Y: [sweetly] No.

Rook: *getterbackback wants to know what your shirt says?

Y: Yeah, hold on.

[She stands and pulls the shirt out to be seen better. It says in large letters, I'M CUTE AND I BITE]

Y: You can do one yourself if you take a dark shirt, tape the parts you want covered, and scorch the area around it with diluted bleach. I've done a few of these, a few designs more than once.

V: Destroyed them?

Y: Nah, Lil wants at least one of every one I do.

V: [to the camera] That would be our fellow student Lilia Vanrouge, from Diasomnia.

Y: He's pretty great. He's *elderbatbrat if you want to look him up.

V: Sit back down so I can figure out which blush to use.

Y: Pinks and corals work best for my skin tone.

V: I thought you didn't wear makeup?

Y: Why do you think I know wearing it tires me out? It's not something I ever did a lot because of the effort.

Y: Except for highlighter. it's basically sparkles and it's light, so I like that.

V: You remember that, but not your proper name?

Y: Ain't life grand.

R: I'm getting several questions about that. Would you care to elabourate for the chat?

Y: Yeah. I don't remember a lot about where I'm from. Culturally? Lots. What I like? What I don't like? Everything. Names and places specific to who I was? No. And don't ask me to think about it too hard, I get the worst fucking headache and I stop seeing right.

V: You've never seen right in your life.

Y: Oh, fuck off, Vil.

[Vil stops blushing one cheek to point.]

V: Stop that.

[Yuu responds by biting at his finger with an audible click when her teeth meet, laughing hysterically as Vil pulls back in shock.]

V: !!! Dreadful little monster!

Y: Yeah, but you're the one who thought you'd get more views if I was here.

R: We indeed just surged another 20,000 views and counting! Excellent work, Yuu.

Y: Thank you, Rook.

[Vil looks ready to explode.]

Y: I won't bite again, that was just too easy. Please continue, I do want to see what magic you can do.

V: This is regular makeup.

Y: Metaphorically, you jackass.

R: *rosemassacre wants to know if you're always like this.

V: She's always this horrible.

Y: Vil first saw me and called me a dumpy little potato. I told him it's because I'm great all ways and everyone wants a taste, and slapped my ass at him. He's been obsessed with me ever since.

V: I am not obsessed with you.

R: You go into a rage over her at least once a week.

V: She can't go a week without being a pest.

Y: I went three after you kicked me out of the movie club.

V: You can't just project violence on the walls of Pomfiore because I said we weren't going to watch it!

Y: Vil, it was The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, and it is art.

V: A man gets sawed in half in the first ten minutes.

Y: To an absolutely bangin' soundtrack. Oh that reminds me. Ad time, hold on.

[She wiggles a little before puting on her best customer service face.]

Y: If you want to access media that is quite literally from another world, please go to MonstroMedia dot com and sign up! There's ebooks, movies, tv, music, and more. Much of it is horror, sci-fi and fantasy, as it's from my person collection of media brought with me on my laptop and backup drives. You can use the code SHOENHEITSAYSWHAT for the first month free!

[She put her hand up and lowered her voice to a conspiratorial tone.]

Y: I completely understand piracy, but I'd appreciate if you paid because this is the only way I get spending money, and I can only bat my eyes at these boys so much before they expect something in return for gifts.

V: How'd Ashengrotto talk you into that one?

Y: He was going to make me start paying for all the food I eat if I didn't.

R: *waterwitchesbetgitches says, and I quote, "so like if ur the only gal at NRC how many boyfs you have"

Y: So many. At least twenty. Even more if there were girls here.

V: That is a gross exaggeration. She has maybe three, if we're being very generous on the definition.

Y: [points] And he's mad he's not one of them.

V: [squinting] You are absolutely dreadful and I can't understand how you're so popular.

Y: I like you too, Vil.

[Vil pauses, visibly taken aback.]

V: ... Thank you.

V: You know you're going to have paparazzi on your tail now, right?

Y: Aw, shit.

R: *insertmagicamhandlehere wants to know what's on your neck.

V: An antique chain with an attached charm specially made for me by Soleil Atelier.

R: I believe that was for Yuu.

[Yuu snickers, as Vil looks for himself. When her collar is pulled down, it fully reveals a vicious set of hickeys with visible toothmarks.]

V: Eww.

Y: You should see the other guy.

V: Eww!

[Vil takes a moment to recover, while Yuu laughs.]

Y: That could be a second part! Everyone needs that tutorial. "Bruise Coverup How-to by Vil Shoenheit: For when you just can't keep them off of you."

[Vil mutters something under his breath that sounds suspiciously like "nerds shouldn't be allowed to fuck"]

Y: Then where would your fans be?

V: At least there's only setting spray after this and then you can leave.

Y: Won't you get bored without me here?

R: One last question! *shroudstreaming has asked... well, there's a lengthy keysmash and an all-caps "why".

Y: Ah. Hi, babe!

Y: Hey, everyone go follow him, he's a total fucking babe and he refuses to take my word for it, no matter what I do to him-

[Vil sprays setting spray directly in her face, leading to Yuu coughing.]

V: No taste at all, and gross to boot.

Y: Asshole.

[Vil offers a mirror]

V: No. Miracle worker.

[Yuu looks... well, the same, but with an even, well made-up face.]

Y: ... Aww. You remembered I like sparkles.

V: Less likely to scrub it off if you actually like it.

[Yuu's admiring herself for a few moments in silence, with Vil watching, quite pleased.]

Y: Hey, can I do you next?

V: Absolutely not.

Y: Ask the chat.

V: No.

R: Chat says yes.

V: [With a visible eye roll] Ugh, fine.

Y: Aight. Take your shirt off.

V: What.

[Yuu brings up a case and flips it open. Inside is a magazine with a gory cover, and various things like fake blood and liquid latex.]

Y: Alright kiddies. You wanna learn how to slit a man's throat?

[Vil gets up and walks away without another word.]

Y: You said I could! Get back here!

[Yuu follows. Rook emerges from behind the camera.]

R: That's it for tonight, ma belles. Next time.

[Magicam Live ends, but not before audible yelling and scuffling, quickly cut off.]

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland fanfiction #vil schoenheit

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promise-of-a-lifetime · 3 years ago

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hiiii my friends ! egg here, long time no talk ;W; my blog has been barren for so long ahhh i really gotta change that, i needa reblog things again and post art ahahaha but thank you to everyone who still follows me despite my inactivity !! 3.8k followers wowwowow thank you so much qwq this post is getting really long as i’m typing out all my thoughts so i’ll put this under a read more for anyone who is curious enough to hear me ramble ahahaha

i’ve been busy actually ! i went back to college this fall. surprising huh ?? after 5 years of just working, i finally made the decision to go back to school (partly bc i’m sick of this job and burnt out and want something new) i got into a program for a diploma in comp studies and now that i’m nearing the end of the first semester---i’m going to change my program into an associate of arts instead ;W; and my plan is to transfer to uni for a bachelor’s (if i choose to do so if i get my associate’s) i wanted to try comp sci solely bc of the job market and the pay. i know ppl say you shouldn’t get into something just for the money but it’s hard not to, you know? it’s tempting, especially bc where i live it’s so crazy expensive, and i wanted to try my hand at it. i currently live in an apartment with my sis rent free provided by my parents so i’m extremely fortunate and in a good place, but i can’t help but feel guilt. i want to make enough money to make an actual living so that i don’t have to keep depending on them and make them work so hard. this also prompted me to go back to school ! but i think i found out that comp sci is not for me. i do not like to code at all (python is okay but js is hell lol) i only like doing html/css styling ; w ; maybe i can try web development later down the line but algorithmic programing is not for me...what truly makes me happy is drawing and writing. it’s what i’ve done my entire life as hobbies but lately i’ve been so busy with school + work, it takes so much out of me, that i have to pick one, if i want to draw or write to relax. i think i mentioned my art burn out and stress in one of my last posts so i’ve chosen to write each time and i’ve neglected my art for so long now ;ww; i really want to get back into it...i miss it so much. so this is why i think the arts field is where i should be, i think i’d be a lot happier doing this. of course i worry about the future and career aspects...can i get a good job out of this? my cycle of thinking is very vicious, i can’t help but think about how my art isn’t good enough, that there are so many better artists out there on tumblr/tw so why would anyone ever hire me for art when they can pick those ppl instead ?? i really need to get out of my head and just---DO IT instead of all this pointless worrying. how will i know if i never try ?? if it doesn’t work out in the end, at least i tried right ?? but i won’t even know that if i don’t allow myself to start in the first place...i’m always crushing my own chance and opportunity with this way of thinking and it needs to stop TwT i really do so much thinking that i get into a crisis every now and then (as you can tell from some of my posts on the blog ahahaha) but i also think about all the sweet and supportive compliments on my art i’ve gotten from you guys and from my friends/family...it really makes me go ‘can i actually do it?’ my sister and my friend told me i should try to make my own stickers/merch and have my own store and honestly...i’ve been thinking about doing that for years but i’ve never had the courage to try. i fear failure so much. i fear being inadequate and irrelevant in comparison to other artists. my friend said that i shouldn’t worry about that bc there will be people who like my art because people like different art styles, the more the merrier---just like that artist cake meme ahahaha but i still...idk...stop myself from even trying anyways. why do i do that? once again, i should just draw whatever i want and stop caring about what other ppl think !! there’s bound to be someone out there that will enjoy my art qwq time and time again i’ve received such kind anons telling me that ! ;WW; so i’m putting my foot down and i’m really going to try changing my mindset and stop inhibiting myself. first step: change my college program next step: get myself an ipad then: draw draw draw !! remember it doesn’t have to be a complete drawing, just sketches and doodles will be fine (maybe do commissions...? my sis aND MOM said i should do them, that my art is good enough, and do custom cards so maybe...? ahh but i’ve never ever been commissioned before, ive had friends ask to commission me in the past but those always fell through...so i’m unsure...but we’ll see) so this is where i’m at right now ;W; thank you to everyone who’s read this far ! i’m so sorry for always worrying about the same things wlejnfwlej it’s hardd but i want to be happy doing something i like

we’ll see what happens in my next life update !! hopefully by then you’ll see much much more art from me~

#Egg talks #...way too much aHAHAHA

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keenmarvellover · 4 years ago

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POSTS FOR YOU - 2

Some links to posts with valuable content you want in one place.(BASICALLY EVERYTHING IS THERE)

Suggestions and Recommendations are appreciated and accepted.

Last Updated : 31/12/2020

NOTE: Some of these post are written in a crude and unruly fashion. But they contain valuable tips, guidance and information. If you can't/don't want to read such posts, then don't read.

Mental Health

SELF-CARE MASTERPOST

Maybe this is what YOU need or 1 mutual of yours needs. So reblog.

Masterlist for Everything

Abuse. Self-harm. Theraphy. Suicide. Self-love. Coping. Chatrooms.

Masterlist for Everything(Part II)

A list of things to make you feel less overwhelmed.

Masterposts for a Bad Day

Check this out. (Part II)

Anxiety Attack vs Panic Attack

Please share and spread this knowledge.

Health

How to use an EpiPen

Please read the whole thread as tips and small bits of info have been added later

Bonjour Jolie - A site to order Period Boxes

It sends you basics like hygiene products, pain medication as well as snacks and pampering stuff to make you feel good with foods tailored to your specific needs

Staying warm during the Cold Wave

Tips to stay warm during the cold weather (sub zero conditions)

An App for people with problems communicating

during an attack or breakdown

How to get rid of Migraines?

How to get rid of tension migraines, normal migraines and sinus migraines

Basic exercises to do after sitting for a Long time

Please share if you feel you and your mutuals sit in front of a screen for long

Sensory- Friendly Clothing Line

Perfect for autistic children and adults

Chest Binder Information

How, Where and When of Chest Binding.

Artists

Drawing Asian Characters/People

Common misconceptions and some tips.

Free Applications to use instead of Adobe Photoshop

Saves a great deal of money for artists whoc can't afford it

Sites to report to if your work gets stolen

Check it out and spread.

How to draw Hands

With diagrams/pics

Basics for Art Students

That were not taught in school

Apps to find Pictures

Apps that do not steal, or show illegal pictures

Writers

How to write a Bilingual Character

When writing a character, write it effectively. Make it realistic and believable.

Useful Art Resources

This is an extensive list of resources for every problem you could come across while writing/planning/editing your novel.

How to end your Story

Types of endings for your stories.

How to write a Muslim Characters

Don't write stereotypes or false information spread by ignorant racist individuals

Virtue Continuum

A good chart for character development, especially when contrasting how they are vs. how they see themselves

A guide to coding and fanwork in AO3

Did you know you can write "Choose Your Own Adventure" on AO3. Bet you didn't.

Valuable Knowledge if you are planning on publishing a book

Given by a person who actually did it

Tips from an Experienced Writer

on writing scenes with different themes.

How to put “wrote fan-fiction” on your résumé

Actual tips and sentences that can be inserted in a resume for ARTISTS, WRITERS, GRAPHIC DESIGNERS.

Types of knives, blades, daggers and pointy things

References for writing those action scenes

College AU Scenarios

From real life

Character Designing

All aspects are covered.

Readers

Books by Muslim Authors

Some incredible books written by muslim authors that you should definitely check out.(2020 releases included)

Getting Creative on giving your comments

Use these if you wanna leave kudos or like again.

Students

Sites to get Free Course Books

Education is a right, it is not a service.

Tips to study when you have ADHD

May this post make your life a little more less daunting

School Cheat Sheets

I love op. They are a godsend to me and many other students. Period

Study Tips from a Psychology Teacher

To memorize and shit

Chrome Extensions

Note: All these extensions are free

Resources Masterlist for STUDENTS

Good Bless the person who made this.

Museums you can visit online

Saves you time and money

Sites for learning Ancient Languages

Pretty much everything is there

Miscellaneous/Life Hacks

A thread of Tips for Life on Adulthood

Tips, life hacks, everything is there.

Alignments Chart Memes

All empty and ready to be filled by YOU.

For the members of the LGBTQ+ Community who are religious

Please check it out.

Revenge Recipies by LGBTQ+ Community

It is not top secret Family recipe anymore.

If you are feeling bored, things to check out

Includes topics for artists, writers and random.

How to prepare for a Protests effectively

Please share. Valuable tips, guidance, information and help in one place.

Accessible Gardening for people with Physical Disabilities

Link to Book PDF

Clothing Tips and Hacks for Men

Men's fashion.( Collars and Cuffs)

Various Fancy Knots

Something fancy that you can DIY

How to remove A Content Blocker

Or how to get content without removing ad blocker

Make your own Language

This site has its own smart translator.

Sites to find Music according to your tastes

Some sites for when you’re bored and looking for new music

Rotten Apples/Fresh Apples

Check if a certain movie or TV show has any affiliation with anyone who was accused of sexual assault.

Desis

How to be an ANTI-CASTE Ally if you are an Upper-Caste

READ IT.

NOT ONLY DESI

All inclusive list to embrace your culture, history and ethnicity.

Safety

Encrypting Your Internet Surfing

Cybersecurity through firewalls created by Lava Lamps

What to do if you find yourself homeless

Tips for LIVING ALONE

Safety Products for Women

HOW TO FLAG PEDOPHILES

Tips That Can Save Your Kid’s Life.

Recognizing Abuse Masterlist

Fire Safety

If you are taken abroad AGAINST YOUR WILL

#safety #writers #artists #students #micellenaous #readers #mental health

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mooncustafer · 3 years ago

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Recover, Regroup, Roadtrip

Agent Dale Cooper disappeared in March 1989. The case is still open. Agent Dale Cooper disappeared in October 2016. The case is still open.

for @laughingpinecone /

/ @countdowntotwinpeaks‘ WONDERFULXSTRANGE 2021

“Diane, I am uncertain of the date and time, or indeed if such concepts have any meaning in this place. Nor do I have my recorder, but I find verbalizing my thoughts helps me to resist the confusion and lethargy. As for addressing my words to you, even though you’ll never hear them— well, old habits die hard.”

It pleased Wally Brando on a profound level to discover that a few pay-phones remained in Philadelphia, that reaching out was not yet the prerogative only of those who could afford a landline or a mobile. He could also have checked his email on a terminal at one of the city’s Public Libraries, and indeed, made a note to do so within the day so that he might catch up on the news of parents and former school friends. The pay phone was also blessed with both the yellow and the white pages, and the number he sought appeared under “F.” Getting transferred to Dr. Albert Rosenfield was a more complex quest, but he was persistent as well as polite, and after a few minutes he was able to speak to Dr. Rosenfield’s voice mail, if not the man himself.

He introduced himself with salutations, and was about the explain the nature of his request when a beep signalled that the allotted time had run out.

“To listen to your message, press one. To re-record your message, press two,” said the voice of the machine.

Silently cursing his volubility, Wally pressed two. This time he simplified the introduction, and asked if Dr. Rosenfield would be good enough to meet him that evening at the Morimoto Japanese restaurant not far from the FBI offices, to discuss a matter of deep concern connected, he believed, with the little town of Twin Peaks. When the beep came this time, he listened to his message and then, satisfied, hung up. The restaurant he’d named was slightly above his means, but he was meeting a friend of his godfather, and wanted to do justice to the occasion, even if the reason for it was one of peculiar anxiety to himself.

“Diane, I have tried so many times to escape— on the last attempt I really did get out into the world, but my plans, I fear, had dire repercussions for you, and to no end— my course still led me back to the Black Lodge. Some flaw in my own nature keeps trapping me in this loop; perhaps it’s what they sometimes call Saṃsāra.”

It was Agent Tammy Preston’s custom, when scraping the internet for information relevant to one or more recent cases, to check her email inbox every seven minutes— to do so every five minutes would disrupt the flow of her work, but ten-minute gaps might let something important go unanswered for too long. Just now the inbox was due another glance, and switching tabs she saw that two minutes earlier Director Bryson had replied to Tammy’s email of that morning with an invitation to come by her desk at her earliest possible convenience.

Tammy locked her screen, paused ‘Soft Fuzzy Man’ on her playlist and removed her headphones. Picking up the folder marked Missing Persons, 1989– Palmer, she slipped back into her pumps and made for Bryson’s office. The door was open but Tammy stopped at the threshold and rapped on the wall.

“Come in,” said Director Bryson, looking up from a folder. Bossa nova music played softly in the background as Tammy entered and pulled up a chair. It sometimes puzzled Tammy that apart from herself and Director Gordon Cole, no one in this particular division of the FBI seemed to have any interest in music recorded after 1979. (The first few times she’d heard ‘Du Hast’ pounding through the walls of Cole’s office, she’d wondered if this taste for metal was the result, or perhaps the cause, of his hearing loss; but after he’d joked to an unamused Agent Rosenfield about how these were difficult times and difficult times called for Dave Brubeck, she’d looked up the reference in case it was a coded message, and then the next day had overheard Gordon whistling ‘Mister Sandman,’ a song she knew primarily from an internet meme, at which point she concluded that the ear wants what it wants, regardless of demographic.)

“You told me you’d found some serious inconsistencies in the records surrounding Twin Peaks and the Palmer case?”

Tammy nodded, hesitated:

“I believe there may be inconsistencies as well in my own perceptions of the case.”

“Well now, that I find a little harder to believe.” Bryson smiled, but then her voice grew serious: “I’ve looked over the notes you made, and it confirms my own doubts about events.”

“Worse yet— the fact that I truly left the Lodge and then returned to it, will enable the beings that inhabit this place to take another twenty-five year turn in my likeness, unleashing even more evil on the world. The only thing stalling them is the doppelgänger I had MIKE make for the Jones family, but I don’t know if he’s still under the White Lodge’s protection.”

After all these months it still surprised Harry Truman there was so little physical pain, and so much boredom, to dying. Oh there’d been pain at the beginning, when he’d started treatment and had had to stop drinking; the memory of detoxing still made him shudder. But now he only felt a tiredness too huge for sleep to make any dent in it; and since he couldn’t sleep all the time, there were a great many hours during which all he could do was lie in the hospice bed or sit in one of the hospice chairs, and think.

At this point dying didn’t even sound so bad— it wasn’t like the past three decades had been all that great. He imagined going to sleep, just filling up a big bowl of silence and darkness and sinking into it, and then he felt bad for thinking that because Frank had already lost enough people without Harry lighting out too. Anyways, with the things he’d seen over the years he’d be a damn fool to think there was anything peaceful about death and whatever came after. So he’d lie awake trying to find some other topic to ponder, and that’s generally when the boredom set in.

Right now, courtesy of the nap he’d had in the afternoon after today’s treatment had left him especially exhausted, he was lying awake in the wee small hours. 3:52 am, said the clock on his bedside table beside the stack of paperbacks Frank had brought him on his visits— Harry wasn’t afraid of e-readers the way Lucy was of cellular phones, but he found the smell of paper comforting. It reminded him of the Bookhouse. The hospice tended to smell of disinfectants and sweat and soup. The food actually wasn’t as bad as the food at the hospital in Twin Peaks used to be, not that any food could be as bad as the hospital food in Twin Peaks used to be, but it made no difference to Harry, whose appetite had been gone for months. Frank always brought a slice of Norma’s pie too, carefully sealed in an old cookie tin to keep it fresh, but Harry could never manage more than a couple of bites, and they didn’t always stay down.

Being awake in the middle of the night in a hospice wasn’t as bad as being awake in the middle of the night when you were alone at home— the occasional voices or footsteps from the corridors beyond were reminders that whatever might be happening to Harry, life went on for the staff; and the lights from the city outside showed that life went on for others outside the hospice walls. When he’d first arrived, those city lights had made it hard to sleep, but now they substituted for the starry sky above Twin Peaks. There were fewer birds to watch in the city, though sparrows, pigeons or a starling sometimes lit on the ledge outside his window and peered in at him, or maybe at their own reflections. The frequent rain pattering against the glass— well, that sounded the same here as it did in a cabin.

Frank had called to tell him about Margaret Lanterman. Harry sometimes wondered if he should have stayed in Twin Peaks and died in his own home like her, instead of lingering in this hospice like the doomed heroine of some nineteenth-century novel. Or like Annie Blackburn. Or Audrey Horne.

The rain was spattering now against Harry’s window, bending the light from the Japanese stone lantern in the pocket-sized garden below. Harry couldn’t remember what the hospice building looked like from the outside, but he guessed it was similar in style to the mid-century one next door where the day-patients came for their treatments. A flash silhouetted the roofline; five seconds later came the thunder-crack. Harry settled back and closed his eyes.

Sleep pulled him into dreams of an espresso machine, like the one in the coffee place down in the lobby next to the gift shop for visitors. This machine filled a whole room, metal pipes feeding back on themselves like some kind of espressouroboros, neither steam nor coffee escaping from the grotesque contraption. Agent Cooper stood wearily before it with two empty coffee-cups. Harry was just wondering who the second cup was for, when Coop looked up and met his eyes:

“What year is this?!”

Harry sat up in bed, listened intently for two full minutes, but he didn’t hear Coop’s voice again. He sighed. Sometimes the mind pulls imaginary sounds out of the background noise. False pattern recognition or something— Coop would have known a word for it. Harry had little hope left they’d ever find Cooper, or if they did, that he’d still be the man he’d known. Yet he’d carried on, more (he told himself) out of habit than any real hope. He’d kept in touch with Agent Rosenfield, even when it meant letting him know about the cancer— not that Albert would blab the secret to anyone in Twin Peaks.

“Hello?”

“Good, you’re still alive.” Albert’s personality hadn’t mellowed with the years, exactly, but familiarity had worn the edges off his jibes.

“Shut up, Albert. So what have you found?” Albert’s calls generally came every three months, but never at nine in the morning, and he’d last spoken to Harry only two weeks back. Something important must have happened.

“Actually, Sheriff Truman, I’m the one coming to you for information.”

“If you hadn’t noticed, it’s not easy to do investigations from a hospital bed. What can I tell you that you can’t get from other sources?”

“I need you to summarize the Laura Palmer case back in 1989, and the actions of Agent Cooper in Twin Peaks at that time.”

“Albert, is this one of your damn cognitive tests? You already know—”

“We’re both too tired to argue, just humor me.”

“How detailed do you want?”

“An outline will suffice.”

Harry took a deep breath and briefly listed the finding of Laura’s body, and the living but dazed and injured Ronnette, and the arrival of Agent Dale Cooper to lead the investigation. He skimmed over the crimes of Jacques Reneault and some of the other peripheral drama that had occurred in the town around that time, noted that Leland Palmer had murdered his own daughter, albeit while not fully himself, and was beginning to recount Cooper’s temporary suspension and Windom Earle’s campaign of terror, when Albert interrupted:

“You’ve still got the unofficial version, then.”

“Unofficial?”

“According to FBI records and your colleagues at the Twin Peaks Sheriff’s Office, Laura Palmer is an unsolved missing-person case.”

Harry began to feel sick.

“Goddammit, Albert, you did the autopsy. I punched you and you fell across her body. You found a broken poker chip in her stomach—” Albert broke in:

“I hadn’t disclosed that detail to anybody I’ve questioned about this.” His voice was a little shaky. “Listen, Harry,” he continued. “Last Friday I was contacted by a young man wearing motorcycle leathers and talking like Jack Kerouac on quaaludes.”

“Wally.”

“Naturally I supposed him to be from your iodine-deficient neck of the woods even before he introduced himself as your godson and the offspring of those lieutenants of yours. He told me he’d come because he wasn’t sure where else to turn. Apparently he keeps in touch with his parents as he rides across the continent, but in their most recent conversation he’d noticed their memories of certain events had become confused. I was about to tell him I wasn’t the least bit surprised, when he added that he’d checked with other townsfolk, including your brother, and they all seemed to have had the same— how’d he put it? ‘The walls of their memory painted over like a childhood bedroom converted to a study.’”

”That sounds like Wally, all right.”

”Eventually he got round to explaining why he’d come to me. The message that had prompted him to call home was from Lucy; she said she’d shot a suspect who was attacking your brother Frank. She’d also mentioned some FBI agents arriving a few minutes later.”

Harry swallowed. He tried to imagine Lucy shooting anyone:

“Frank never said anything about this.”

“And when Wally called home, Andy and Lucy not only denied it had happened, they had no idea what he was talking about, not that I’d guess that to be an unusual state of affairs. Anyway, after I sent your godson away, I began to have contradictory memories myself of what Cooper had told me about the case. I remembered the poker chip after waking in the middle of the night from the worst dreams I’d had since medical school. I’ve been telling myself it was a false memory, maybe a composite of all the young female murder victims I’ve had to examine in my career, but I told myself I’d make one more phone call, just to check. And now you confirm it. Also, in my recall you knocked me across Leo Johnson’s body. Thanks for the correction. Are you still there?”

“Yes,” Harry answered, glad he was already sitting on his bed.

“Now that that’s established,” said Albert’s voice on the other end of the phone: “here’s the sixty-four-thousand-dollar question: when do you remember Agent Cooper disappearing?”

“March 1989.” Harry tried to keep his voice steady, as though he was giving evidence in court. He briefly explained about the Black Lodge and Coop’s reappearance and unsettling behaviour and how he’d checked himself out of the hospital and was never heard from again. There was a long silence on the other end of the phone. “Are you still there, Albert?”

“According to FBI records and, up until two days ago, my own memories: Coop disappeared this past October while driving to Odessa, Texas for a case. The last record of him was a credit-card charge at a motel just outside the city.”

“What was he investigating in Odessa?”

“Missing person. I’ve tried looking into that case, but it seems to be a dead end, especially since Coop never seems to have arrived at the diner where the man he was looking for had allegedly been running drugs.”

“Sounds like the kind of establishment where nobody’d admit anything. Maybe Coop did get to the diner.”

“Gee, you’ve cracked it Sheriff, we would never have thought of that. The diner was old-school, but not so old-school they didn’t have a security camera trained on the front counter. We went over three days worth of footage. I admit we can’t be sure he didn’t slip in through the back for some reason; but you knew Coop— can you honestly picture him entering a diner and not ordering a coffee?”

“Not the Coop I knew, but— I already told you he was acting pretty erratically just before he took off.”

Harry heard Albert sigh.

“I’ve been checking with a few of my colleagues who were involved in the original Palmer investigation. I think Gordon knows something, but being Gordon he’s saying nothing, and as loudly as possible. Denise— Director Bryson, now— remembers the unofficial version, and according to her so does Agent Preston— oh right, you never met Agent Tammy Preston, the poker-faced glamazon computer hacker— I’m not sure she was even born yet in 1989, but she was on a case in Twin Peaks in October 2016, and during the course of the subsequent paperwork, she started noticing a lot of records and statements didn’t match up, and then she realized her own memories didn’t match up. Which brings up another problem with trying to reason this out by conventional methods: something in that Salem’s Pacific-Northwest Lot of yours is rewriting memories, documents, maybe the facts themselves. But so far it’s predominantly affected the people who were on the spot this past October.” Albert’s voice rasped a little from the long phone call, and he paused to clear his throat. “Unfortunately, that also means the people most likely to remember the original version of events are people who weren’t in the Sheriff’s Office during the incident that seems to have triggered the change. At the risk of sounding like one of those bullshit shows on the History Channel, we may never know exactly what happened that night.”

“Wait, what even was the case that brought you all back in 2016?”

“That’s the problem— I’m one of the people who was there, and I only have vague and disconnected memories of a British man with a gardening glove, the chorus of Guys and Dolls, Agent Cooper leaving the room with Diane, his secretary who quit the FBI decades ago, and Gordon, and only Gordon coming back.” Albert paused again. “It goes against my personal feelings and medical opinions, but would you be willing to let me visit you in person? I’ve some vacation time and enough frequent-flyer miles that the trip will probably cost less than the long-distance charges if we continue this conversation.”

Harry opened the drawer of his bedside table and took out the key to Coop’s old hotel room:

“Yeah, come by.”

“Diane, I am currently alone. I realize that statement implies that I’m not always alone here, and indeed I sometimes have a companion, who I still think of as Laura Palmer, though I don’t know if that’s her identity anymore; I’d hoped, after my last attempt, that Laura would no longer be in this place at all. She comes and goes, or perhaps we both come and go and our orbits occasionally intersect. I’ve tried to find some pattern to it, but with no reliable way to measure time, I’ve had little success.

The last time we met she told me about a room she hadn’t seen before, all white walls, in which a dark-haired woman was contemplating a mirror with a puzzled look. I can’t help but feel this parallels my own situation.”

“Frank sent me this last month. But when I thanked him the next time he called, he didn’t seem to know what I was talking about.” Albert hesitated before taking the room key:

“Great Northern Hotel,” he read, turning it over. “Twin Peaks. Isn’t the front desk going to want this back?”

“Unless I miss my guess, it’s from 1989 when Coop was staying there.”

Albert’s ears stuck out more noticeably, or perhaps it was his face that was thinner. He’d spent the first part of his visit scrutinizing Harry and questioning him about his case and what the doctors were doing for it, until Harry told him to quit it or he’d run out of time to discuss Coop’s disappearance before visiting hours ended, and anyway weren’t Albert’s patients usually dead to begin with?

The trouble with the subsequent discussion was that it went in a circle— the people who’d been present for the 2016 Unknown Event had uncertain memories of what had actually happened; and the people who clearly recalled the 1989 Palmer case as a murder hadn’t been present for the Unknown Event. The one thing that seemed likely was that there was some connection between the 1989 case and the 2016 case, particularly since both had been followed by the unsolved disappearance of one Agent Dale Cooper.

“I hate to say it, Albert, but I’ve given up hope on ever finding Coop.”

“What’s hope got to do with it?” Albert asked. His tone was not sarcastic.

“Diane, I’ve decided that, if only to keep my mind occupied, I will go looking for the white room and the woman with the mirror. I’d feel happier if I had a ball of twine or some breadcrumbs to leave as a trail back to the waiting room, but I’m coming to terms with the idea that’s there’s no advantage to remaining or returning here— it’s not as if I need food or drink in this place, and I cannot be any more lost than I already am.

So far, I believe I’ve walked down five identical red-curtained hallways, and turned left five times. It therefore seems likely that I’m following a counterclockwise, roughly spiral path, although I’m uncertain if I’m proceeding inwards or outwards.”

“If this search is going to require juggling two sets of memories, then I’d better come along so you don’t get brainwashed again.”

“Sheriff Truman, if you haven’t noticed by now, you’re in a cancer hospice.”

“I just finished a round of treatments, I’ve got a couple of weeks free.” Albert snorted and Harry added: “You can monitor my health while we’re on the road.”

“I’m already thinking of your health. You’re immunocompromised, travel is too risky.”

“We’re crossing a few state lines, not going to the other side of the world.”

Albert pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Fine. I’m driving. Which also means I get to choose the music.”

In fact, they went most of the way by plane, after Albert weighed the odds and decided five hours in a tube of recycled air would still be easier on Harry than a two-day road trip. Some of the passengers threw suspicious looks at Harry’s N95 mask, but they’d cleared it in advance with the airline, and Harry had briefly removed it when he went through TSA, and Albert was prepared to flash his FBI badge, but the flight crew were understanding.

They picked up a car at Midland International. Someone, presumably an employee of the car-rental company, had left a bundle of tourist-attraction pamphlets on the front passenger seat.

“According to these, Odessa has replicas of the Globe Theatre and Stonehenge,” Harry observed once he’d got himself settled.

“Why?” Albert asked.

“Got me there. The pamphlets don’t explain the motivation.”

Albert reached up and pulled down the car’s sunshade on Harry’s side, though the Sheriff insisted his cowboy hat was protection enough for his pale scalp:

“We’re not in the northwest where it rains every fifteen minutes,” he muttered, “and I’ve been looking up the side effects of your meds— you sunburn easily now.” Albert’s driving skirted the city, and they did not pass the Globe or Stonehenge.

The Pearblossom Motel, last recorded location of Agent Cooper, proved to be closed down. They’d noticed the papered-over windows as they pulled up, the sign unlit, not even to say NO VACANCY, but Albert got out to knock anyway. Harry watched him from the car; eventually he clambered out and slowly walked over to join him.

Albert was peering through a spot where the paper had torn away behind the window-glass. He stepped aside for Harry, and the sheriff took a look into the motel’s dim interior. He saw an ordinary, rather old-fashioned registration office, wood-grain panelling on the walls along with a few faded posters for local attractions. Rows of keys still hung on a board behind the desk, and a daily calendar read October 15, presumably the date the motel had closed, or the approximate date— Harry could imagine a concierge might not bother to keep tearing off the pages if they knew it was their last week on the job.

“I now realize that despite everything, I’ve still been harbouring hopes of finding my way back to the waiting room, hence my continual choosing of left-hand turns, as if attempting to mathematically navigate a maze. I must make a true leap of faith if intuition is to guide me, so I’ve closed my eyes and spun around several times in this corridor, first clockwise and then counterclockwise.

Now that I no longer can tell which direction I’ve come from… Diane, can you hear that? Of course you can’t, I don’t really have my tape recorder. I’m going to fall silent and listen for a bit.”

There seemed little else of interest at the motel (Harry, feeling a bit silly, had even tried the Great Northern’s room key on all the doors), so they turned back towards Odessa to look for the diner Cooper had been investigating. The motel was only a mile behind when they saw, ahead of them, a tall woman walking along the highway, her fire-engine-red hair, black t-shirt and pencil skirt out of place in a locale that was rural to the point of emptiness. Albert swore under his breath.

“This can’t be a coincidence,” he told Harry. “Roll down your window, I’m pulling over.” But the woman only threw a glance at the car as it slowed, flipped them the bird, and kept walking, though she stepped gingerly and Harry noticed she was barefoot on the asphalt. Albert leant across him and stuck his head out the window:

“Diane!”

“Fuck off, guys. I’m not Diane, and whoever she is I bet she’d tell you the same.” Harry gently pushed Albert back and leant out the window himself:

“Sorry, ma’am, mistaken identity. Are you all right though? I see you’ve mislaid your shoes.”

“Looks like somebody ran off with them,” the woman answered, her tone mocking despite the tired set of her shoulders. “I haven’t been up to anything illegal, officer. Just a bit of fooling around.”

“We can give you a ride into town,” Harry offered. “If it helps, you’ll be alone in the back seat— means you can get the drop on us if you start to feel nervous.”

The woman narrowed her eyes at the offer, then abruptly barked out a laugh and opened the back door of the car, took a seat and folded her long legs in after her. “Only because I need a lift,” she insisted, rubbing her bare feet. “I knew office romances were a bad idea, but he didn’t have to be a dick about it. Nothing to do now but go home and drown my sorrows in Hallowe’en candy.”

“You’ve still got candy left over from Hallowe’en?” In the mirror above the dashboard, Harry saw Albert raise an eyebrow and the woman in the back seat frowned, insulted:

“No! I may not have a maternal bone in my body, but I’m not going to give the trick-or-treaters candy that’s a year old.”

“Ma’am,” Harry asked, thinking about the calendar back in the Pearblossom Motel office, “what date d’you think it is?”

“Mid-October,” she began. Harry saw her reach into her purse with her black-and-white nails and pull out a mobile phone. Her eyes widened at the date: “No, it’s March. The fuck?—” She ran a hand through her scarlet hair. Harry wondered if it was dyed or a wig. Perhaps she was bald too. “Must be losing it. I was so sure it was October. And it’s not like I’ve could’ve been wandering around this desert for five months.” She tapped her phone screen. “5,230 messages?!” She looked frightened now, raising her head to meet their gaze in the mirror. “Where the hell have I been? And you guys— you’re feds, aren’t you?”

“No,” Harry began.

“I am,” said Albert. “He’s not.”

“Well, can you tell me what’s going on? Or is it classified? God, it’s not aliens, is it? I always assumed alien conspiracies were bullshit to cover up real conspiracies.”

“It’s probably not aliens,” Harry answered, unable to keep doubt from his voice as he remembered Major Briggs, “but I afraid it’s not going to sound any less weird.”

“To start with, we’re in the area investigating a colleague who disappeared in October,” began Albert, “and then you turn up, apparently amnesiac since that date.”

“And with my messages unchecked since then.”

“Yes, but there’s another detail— you look exactly like a former colleague of mine who was close to our missing man. That’s why I called you Diane when I slowed down.”

“I need a smoke.”

“No.”

“Albert,” Harry interrupted, “I’ve already got cancer, what’s the worst that can happen?”

“Do you want me to answer that in detail?”

“No I don’t.” Harry turned to look over his shoulder at the woman in the back: “Just roll down your window first.”

“We’ll pull over and she can step away from the car,” said Albert.

He stopped on a shoulder, and their passenger got out and lit a cigarette. Examining the packet, she called to them:

“Three left. That’s fewer than I remember having on me in October, but not by much.” Albert, meanwhile, had pulled a shopping bag from the back seat:

“You should eat something,” he said to Harry, producing a sealed cup of applesauce and a box of plastic spoons. Between rounds of treatment, Harry’s nausea receded, but his appetite was still pretty weak. “There’s saltine crackers, too.” Harry chuckled in spite of himself as he tore the foil off the applesauce:

“This all makes me feel like I’m home from school with the ‘flu.”

“You’ll have to watch Roadrunner cartoons on your own phone, I’m not paying for the data,” Albert snapped.

“I’m surprised we even get reception out here.” The red-haired woman had strolled back to the car with her cigarette, though she took care to stay downwind from Harry’s rolled-down window. “Guys, is it just me or is this highway really deserted— like, Rod-Serling-voiceover deserted?”

“We were just thinking Roadrunner cartoons.”

“Can’t be, there’s no weird rocks.” She flicked ash onto the pavement, “Though it does feel like if someone painted a tunnel entrance on a wall around here, you might be able to drive into it. If you weren’t a coyote.” She took another drag and glanced at the power lines humming above their heads. “Maybe it’s the hum from those wires that’s giving us brain cancer— oh sorry, dude.” She broke off and looked at Harry in apology.

“It’s all right, ma’am,” he said when he’d finished swallowing his mouthful of applesauce. “I’ve got leukaemia, not brain cancer. And the sound from those lines is unpleasant. Like the whine of mosquitoes in the woods.” As he spoke the hum intensified, becoming a loud crackle. Albert glanced up as a shadow fell over the three travellers and their car.

In the sky a dark, nebulous shape twisted, circled, formed a comma or an apostrophe, and dove towards them.

The first few grackles, out of thousands, came down on the roof and hood of the car. Harry could see one pecking at the windscreen and glaring at him with hard yellow eyes. He suddenly remembered Coop had been afraid of birds; until now, he’d never been able to imagine why. He turned and pushed open the back door as the woman dove inside the vehicle. Around them, the flock blotted out the landscape.

“Hope they don’t scratch up the finish,” Albert shouted over the sound of wing-beats, “or I’m not getting my deposit back.”

“Is this nesting season? I mean, are the grackles round here normally this—”

“Oh fuck, one got in!” came a yell from the back seat. Eardrums ringing, Harry turned to see a small black shape ricocheting around the car’s interior as the woman flailed her long, bare arms. The grackle made for the gap between Albert’s seat and headrest.

And got stuck, its beak not quite touching the back of Albert’s neck.

Harry reached for the little feathered body, thinking of how to pin the wings against the bird’s sides to avoid injury to it or the surrounding humans, but the moment his fingers touched it, it crumbled. At the same time the din outside the car ceased.

“That— that’s not natural.” Their passenger was covering her mouth with her hand. Even Albert looked shocked. Harry stared at the palmful of ash that was all that was left of the grackle.

“Let me get a sample bag,” Albert muttered. He pulled out a small clear plastic bag, and held it out while Harry poured the remains in. Then he handed him a packet of wet wipes. “You all right, Diane?” The woman in the back seat did not correct him on the name this time.

“Couple of scratches,” she said, examining her right arm. Albert passed her a mini first-aid kit. Got to give him his dues, he prepares for everything, thought Harry, adjusting the brim of his cowboy hat.

“Y’know,” he said, “This could be a good sign. In that it’s any kind of sign. There’s nothing worse than working in the dark, waiting for some hint you’re getting warmer or colder— that’s the kind of thing makes you wonder if the thing you’re looking for is even out there at all. But this—”

“Someone tipped their hand, you mean, when they tried throwing a Hitchcock movie in our faces,” Albert cut in. “But what exactly did we do to worry them?” His glance, and Harry’s, moved to the dashboard mirror’s reflection of their passenger.

“You think the birds were after me, or wanted to break up our merry band?” She raised an eyebrow. “Trouble is I know a token effort when I see one.”

“Or a warning.”

“We found the Pearblossom Motel;” Harry thought he saw the woman flinch at the name. “And then left it, to head for Odessa.”

“Are you suggesting we drive around in circles and see if they attack again?” Albert muttered.

“I think that’d be a little unfair to our passenger.” Harry turned to her: “Ma’am, I believe Albert when he says he knows you; but I also believe you when you say you don’t remember him. We can drop you anywhere you like— your call.”

“Give me a few minutes, fellas. Given all the weird shit I’ve just been through, I’ve got to think about whether I’m safer away from you two, or sticking close by. Plus I’ve got messages to check.” She took her phone out again. Without taking his eyes off the road, Albert pulled his own phone from his suit jacket, passing it to Harry:

“You’d better check mine. Maybe Tammy’s got some news—she’s been looking up everyone connected with events in Twin Peaks, but not living in the area. She even emailed some couple in Japan, though I’m still not sure what they’ve got to do with this.”

Harry peered at Albert’s phone screen, occasionally commenting if something looked to be of interest:

“Gordon’s sent a grudging OK, tells you to be careful. Also tells you to look after me. I’d always imagined he’d type in uppercase— didn’t realize it was him at first. Hm. Do you know a coroner?”

“I know lots of coroners, we get together for an annual poker tournament and lucky draw. And when I say draw…”

“Do you know a Dr. Talbot in Buckhorn?” Harry interrupted. “Autopsied a headless body last September that turned out to be Major— wait, he— is this one of those revised timeline things?”

“Not exactly.” Albert brought Harry up to date as best he could on Major Briggs’ disappearance and decades-later reappearance. “I certainly remember meeting Constance,” he added, after a pause, and cleared his throat again. “According to Tammy, I made a favourable impression on her, which is… unusual among my acquaintances, even those who share my profession. So what does she have to say?”

“Something about a wedding ring and Schrödinger’s Cat?” Harry looked at the message again. “She says Tammy spoke to her, and was going to contact you too… a gold ring they found on Briggs… sorry, in Briggs… keeps disappearing from her office’s records and the FBI’s evidence files, then coming back again?”

Albert frowned in thought as he drove: “Does it have anything engraved on it?” Harry tapped a message on the phone screen, CC-ing Constance and Tammy.

Outside the car, suburbs, or at least car dealerships and big-box stores, were beginning to sprout up along the highway.

Albert’s phone pinged and Harry read the message from Constance:

“Yes, scribbled it down last time I could find the record. This ring any (wedding) bells? TO DOUGIE, WITH LOVE, JANEY-E”

“Janey-E,” said Diane from the back seat, and Harry heard her drop her phone. Turning around he saw her wringing her hands, the nails now robin’s-egg blue. “Albert,” she gasped, “Oh, Albert, I was almost lost again.”

“I believe the change in method may have led to a breakthrough: I haven’t found any rooms leading off of the corridor I’m following, but the decor has gradually changed from black-and-white flooring and red curtains, to dark brown linoleum flooring and institutional green walls hung with large relief maps of different parts of the world. The maps appear to have been manufactured some time between 1954 and 1965, as they show North and South Vietnam as separate nations. I’m just passing the continent of Antarctica, now, and… oh. I think there might be…

Diane, I found the white room, and when I call it that, I’m not simply echoing Laura’s name for it. It was like a cross between a sanatorium and a snow cave, if a snow cave had furniture. There was a bed with white blankets and a white metal frame like a hospital bed. Audrey was sitting on one end of it, wrapped in a white bathrobe and looking at a round mirror that stood on a little white table. She turned as I entered, and her face was older, drawn and, for a moment, frightened. Then she looked at me again and relaxed, saying ‘Oh, it’s really you.’ I fear she must have met one of my nastier doppelgängers at some point.”

At Diane’s request, they stopped to eat at a fast-food chain before approaching the diner Coop had been investigating in at least one timeline.

“I’m hungry, but I’d be too nervous to eat at the place where Dale might have… well, if they’re a front for something, then the food’s either spectacular or terrible, and I’m not feeling lucky right now. I want to be someplace as bland and mundane as possible for a while, so I can regroup.”

“Well this place has a twenty-minute limit.” Albert jerked his thumb at the sign.

“That’ll do.” Diane curled up beside Harry in the booth as Albert went up to the counter to place their orders. She still wore her pencil skirt, but on on of their stops she’d purchased tennis shoes and a couple of fresh t-shirts— the one she was wearing at the moment read NOT TODAY in flowery letters. “Now he’s got two of us to worry about,” she said under her breath. Harry decided to reply:

“Someone needs to worry about him.” Diane nodded, and Harry offered his hand: “Sorry, we never did the proper introductions did we? Harry S. Truman.”

“I know.” Her expression relaxed slightly. “I see why he likes you.”

“Not sure Albert likes anybody, exactly—”

“That’s not who I was talking about.”

Albert returned with a eye-searingly-orange plastic tray:

“Mushroom burger, cheeseburger, buttered biscuit for you, Harry, because they can’t just serve toast like a real restaurant and those things they claim are bagels are made out of lies.”

“Don’t worry Albert, I’ll survive a biscuit.” Harry picked up one half of the baked item and took a bite. It wasn’t too bad, actually.

“Diane, the ring that jogged your memory—”

“My half-sister and her husband. Don’t ask me how they’d be mixed up in this though, Janey-E’s aggressively normal.”

“And her husband?”

“Never actually met him. Janey-E and I don’t talk much,” she explained. “But from her comments he’s… passively normal. Works for an insurance company, drinks too much sometimes, the whole man-in-the-gray-flannel-suit thing.”

“I’ve been talking with Audrey, or the version of her that existed in the white room. You’ll notice I use the past tense. Still sitting on the bed, she raised a finger and pointed to the mirror in front of her, saying:

‘The other me— she ran away from home, like she thought Laura had done. I’m amazed she survived her first year in the big city, but look:’

Diane, I saw Audrey searching records online, tailing suspects, testifying in civil and sometimes criminal courts. It’s a life that can make a cynic of the kindest soul, but there are situations the police don’t or can’t investigate, and those were— are, I suppose— Audrey’s bread and butter, in that mirror world. And they seem to pay well enough she can afford to do some pro bono cases.

‘I wish I were out there,’ she said, and the mirror clouded and shifted. She patted the bedspread, and I sat down beside her. ‘You know how,’ she began, ‘when you’re a kid, and you’re reading your favourite book, and a little after the halfway point, you start to think ‘I’m getting near the end of the book?’ And really, you’re not— there are pages and pages left of scenes and pictures. You’re always surprised just how much more there is. But it’s not enough to shake the feeling it’s putting off the inevitable. Dawdling before bedtime.’ She stood up suddenly, bent and kissed me on the brow. ‘Say hello to the other me, if you ever run into her.’ And then she was gone, Diane. Not in flame or fadeout, just gone.”

I look up, and Laura is beside me.

The diner, when they found it, was not what Harry’d pictured. Instead of a lonely Edward Hopper tableau, or a grimy spoon where toughs whispered to each other along the lunch counter and cast knowing glances in the direction of the men’s room, “Wispy Dreams Cafe” was a blandly cheerful donut shop, the logo rather obviously altered from that of a national chain.

“Looks like they’re under new management.” Diane observed as they got out of the car. “Or else they got tired of paying for the franchise?” The three of them made their way across the parking lot the cafe shared with the landscaping company next door. Inside, the sound of chattering customers and a hum from the coffee machine both soothed and overwhelmed. Harry steadied himself against a gleaming, cream-colored formica counter. The woman on the other side— not a fresh-faced high-school senior or a kindly-faced matron, just a woman with her hair in a ponytail and circles under her eyes, doing her best to smile— threw him a glance and Harry nodded.

“I’m ok. Albert, Diane, what do you two want?”

A couple of minutes later, they sat by the window, feigning interest in their donuts and coffee.

“Well, we’re living the cop cliché,” whispered Albert. “So, what do you think? Soulless suburban hangout, or den of villainy?”

Harry gingerly sipped the brew in his cardboard cup and eyed the other customers. You couldn’t say the place wasn’t busy; the woman at the counter had already served a family of four in the time it had taken Harry, Albert and Diane to seat themselves with their coffees, and another customer had just come in the door.

“That counter’s been installed recently. Deep-fat fryer’s been replaced too.”

“And they don’t know how to use it yet. You could wax skis with these donuts. That’s hardly a crime, though.” Diane looked around at the blue and yellow walls painted with large trompe l’oeil sprinkles. “Doesn’t seem to be anything else funny about the place— I hate to say it but this place might be legit.”

Harry watched the new customer lean in to the counter. Harry couldn’t quite make out what he was saying— presumably the man was placing his order, but it seemed to be taking a while and there was something tense in the woman’s expression. Beside him he heard Diane swear under her breath, and faster than he could turn his head, his peripheral vision took in that she was getting up. She strode towards the counter and Harry had a glimpse of the angry red scratch on her arm as he struggled to his feet.

Diane was leaning on the counter now, trying to insert herself between the customer and the worker.

“What did you just say to her?” she was asking.

“Look, I come in here all the time, we joke around. What makes you think it’s your fucking business?”

“What seems to be the trouble?” Harry loomed up behind the customer— he might have only half his usual strength but he was still a good six inches taller than the other man. Behind him, he guessed, Albert was approaching. Harry knew the agent was unwilling to use physical force and not exactly skilled at defusing situations through diplomacy, so he turned his gaze on the customer with all the quiet confidence he’d used as Sheriff. In his ear Diane hissed:

“It’s nothing to do with the case, this asshole’s just creeping on the staff.” She must’ve locked eyes with the man too, for he was staring at her now, his bland pink features shifting expression from anger to terrified fascination.

Rather an unimpressive face, thought Harry, and then, what’s Diane doing? He turned to look at her sharp, smiling profile, and saw a tear slide from her eye.

“No,” she said loudly and abruptly, and blinked hard. “Do you want us to escort him out?” she asked the woman behind the counter; but the man was already out the door and running for his car.

“Diane,” Harry whispered.

“Diane,” whispered Albert. Diane was passing one hand across her eyes.

“I could have fried him. Just now. Something wanted me to; but I just wanted him to back off.” She beamed at them as Albert held out an arm for her to steady herself. “I think I’m back to normal. Well, normal for me.”

“Are we the only two left here now?”

“I’m not even here anymore.”

“I don’t know how to get back to the waiting room.”

“It doesn’t matter, the coffee’s cold.”

Somehow, the white room has become even more featureless, despite that being both a logical and a grammatical impossibility. Only the bed, the table and Audrey’s mirror remain. A moment in the glass catches my eye, and I look to see— oh Diane, I’m so glad you escaped! I see you travelling with Albert, and… oh, Harry…

…the cafe’s fluorescent lights flickered as the background hum, noticeable since their arrival, now rose to an ear-splitting volume then died away just as suddenly. As the three of them looked on, an old-fashioned hospital bed, its steel frame painted white, materialized between the counter and the booths, replacing two unoccupied tables. At one end of it sat Agent Dale Cooper, fully dressed in his suit and tie, a look on his face of mild surprise that turned to the familiar joy as his gaze met theirs. Coop had grown older like the rest of them, sharper angles in his face, but he looked hale and well, and his eyes did not have the cruel gleam that chilled Harry’s memories of their last meeting.

“Harry,” he said, as though a quarter-century hadn’t passed. In response Harry silently doffed his cowboy hat, revealing his pallor, his naked scalp. Coop’s smiled wavered a little. “I’m sorry I was gone so long,” he whispered, and rose from the white bed. In the background, the cafe staff and patrons continued to chat and serve and drink and eat coffee and donuts as if nothing out of the ordinary was going on right in front of them. Albert made a hesitant noise in his throat and Coop raised his hand in that just a moment gesture he always used to make, and in that moment Harry knew his friend really was back from wherever he’d been all those years.

“Apologies for being brusque,” Coop said, “but there’s a family in Las Vegas who I’ve reason to believe are in danger right now—”

“Janey-E?” Diane asked.

“Right on the button. For personal reasons which I’ll explain later, I can’t get in touch with them myself. The Mitchell brothers might be able to help, but I don’t know how much they’ll be able to recall of our last meeting.”

“Tammy and Constance are already on it.”

“Good,” Coop looked relieved, and Harry stepped forward, shaking a little in spite of himself, and as if the motion had at last given him permission, Coop sailed forward and embraced him— very gently, as if he feared Harry might break. He’s gauging by touch how much weight I’ve lost, thought Harry, but it’s all right. He’d forgotten how warm Coop was. He became aware of Albert and Diane joining in, arms circling his shoulders and Coop’s. If I died right here and now, it’d be all right.

But this embrace was not an epitaph, or an epilogue. Outside, somewhere else in the city, was an imitation of an ancient stone monument; and a copy of an old theatre where real audiences watched real actors. Somewhere the forces that had sent the dark cloud of grackles prepared another attack, and somewhere Tammy Preston was moving to protect Janey-E and Dougie Jones. Elsewhere Audrey Horne walked the mean streets and was not herself mean. This was an interlude, but let them have it for a while.

A couple of patrons turned their heads to smile at the reunion going in their midst.

#wonderfulxstrange #@laughingpineapple #twin peaks #@laughingpinecone

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