#marriageswasteofmoneyandtime

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That Night

well, hi there. This is the second blog of the day...:)

This is about that night that I did not sleep at all. I am really very sleepy and snoozy person. I really need rest and I love my sleep. Mostly I don’t compromise with my sleep but that day I did. You may wonder I would have done that to study the whole night!!?? But that's not the case... I am a studious guy but I don't spend my night studying tho...

So it was the night of 18th June 2018. It was my cousin’s wedding in Chandigarh. The photo ceremony was over and guests started disappearing after having their dinner and some dance. So now it was approx 12 when almost all the guests went back to their homes or wherever they lived. It was our family who was there. There were about a 30 people and I was amongst them. The wedding, the actual cultural wedding had just started when my parents called me to go back to hotel oyster ( where we stayed ). My mom and dad would also have stayed up if I and papa did not have a flight to San Fransisco the next day at 4. To catch the flight at 4pm we had to leave Chandigarh at least at 4am keeping the traffic and packing time in mind... So our plan was that we would go back to the hotel and sleep for few hours and then leave at 4. It was important for Papa to get some sleep to drive so much. and mom dad would pick me up from the place and we move on. I felt that I could sleep in the car, so I decided to stay up that night... I stayed at the wedding place, “wedlock manor” and decided to attend the whole wedding, rituals and the “saat phere”.

I never woke up a whole night to attend any wedding, ever. So, this blog is not about the wedding however, it's about the thoughts I got when I was seeing the stupid rituals. Sorry to say stupid, but I clearly don't believe in such stuff. I don't believe.

So when I was seeing this stuff I thought many things and my own wedding was amongst it. Idk why but I started thinking about my marriage that’s gonna happen at least after 15-20 years... I thought that at my wedding, I would do this and that... But after a thought struck my brain, I felt stupid. We spend so much money on feeding the one who already are capable enough and can afford their own meals at least 3 times a day... Why not feed the one who cannot afford to have a meal even twice a day.!!! I felt stupid, I felt shame, I felt guilty, I felt naked at that very instant. 

My cousins' wedding was a love marriage. I felt that these stupid rituals cannot make their love or relationship stronger or any deeper. It can just waste their precious time and money which they spend in preparation of all this. I am not against them, he did his part very correctly because her mother ( my bua ) wanted all that. 

My Cousin is just like me, young, thoughtful and doesn't believe in this bullshit. He is in the air force as a pilot and even her to-be-wife was in the air force. If the marriage was done according to them, it would just be a court marriage maybe. and they would just throw a party for the family members and friends. 

Another thought that struck my mind was these stupid rituals doesn't allow the mother of the groom to see the marriage. How does that even make any sense!!??? I was shocked when my bua went back to the hotel before the ritualistic wedding started. When I asked some people about it, they told me that the groom’s mother cannot attend the “vidhis” that are done completing the marriage ceremony. 

So, at about 3.30am, everything was done and it was time for “vidaai”. Even before the rituals were over, the bride’s mother started crying. And at the time of vidaai, the father, my mother, and dozen full of brothers and cousins started crying and hugging each other. This almost took 30 minutes or so... Now it was already 4 and I called mom and dad to leave from there and pick me up and leave Chandigarh asap. In about 10 minutes or so mom and dad came. They met the bride’s family and told that we had to leave at our earliest because had to catch our flight, and soon we went back........

And therefore at my end what happened, my cousin, her wife were again busy in their lives at air force, I am busy with my life studying and my parents doing their job and other relatives minding their own business. So what happens in the last is same that used to happen before. Nothing changed... so whats the point of doing such a “dhoom dhaam waali shaadi””?????