#man idk either it just kind of happened after months of writers block on this thing

[n7punk]

me: i need a break

*accidentally writes 7k in one day*

me: ...from cotc?

[mego42]

1x07 Discussion Questions

My b! My b! I usually try to do these when the episode is fresh but instead I went to sleep, I am at peace with my priorities, tbh. As always, many thanks to @pynkhues​ for her time and energy putting these together and shout out to @foxmagpie​ for the assist. 

1. What was your favourite scene of the episode? Tell us why!

Lot of contenders, tbh. I really love the scene with Mary Pat when she puts together the (extremely transparent) bullshit that is the whole secret shopper scheme (I mean come on y’all, did you even try????), I love Ruby and Stan’s date (high five to Stan for coming through with my parks & rec reference, it’s nice to know there is one (1) man I can count on). The Annie and Greg bit is REALLY SWEET LEAVE ME ALONE. The god tier brio content, specifically The Grab Heard Round The World My Living Room and the Give Me A Name bit. Some classic Rio nonsense (do you think if we asked him to point to an egg he’d point to an apple?) Tyler and his “reeeeeeally fill out the surveys?” was, obvs, the best moment on the entire show. Anyway, one of those for sure.

2. Was there any scene that missed the mark for you? And if so, how?

The Boomer setting up Annie stuff always falls flat to me and idk exactly why? Like, individual pieces of it are great, Mae does EXCELLENT work post police station and when getting arrested in the first place but ultimately I find it fairly forgettable in the grand scheme of things.

3. Let’s talk about the secret shopper scheme! What do you think were the strengths of it? The flaws? Do you think it had longterm potential? Or was it always going to crash and burn?

I said this during the rewatch but I straight up blocked out the fact that all of the shoppers are hitting the same store on the same day (waving around upwards of $5k in cash???? no less???????) because my brain cannot comprehend how three women we’re supposed to believe are reasonably intelligent didn’t realize this was the stupidest, most transparently obvious, most short-sighted scheme in the entire world. 

I struggled with the sustainability of it a bit when I thought they were spreading their efforts around (they roped in A Lot of people, there are only so many Costcos in the Detroit metro area and waving around that much cash and then returning it all, again for cash, is uh, already p memorable) but I could deal with it when I thought they were spreading it around. Short-sighted, immediate solutions are a cornerstone of Beth’s brand, after all, but all of them at the same store at the same day???? Too much. I cannot. 

4. The girls spent their money in very different ways! Ruby on romancing Stan, Annie on clothes for her son, and Beth on jewellery for herself. What do you think this tells us about them and their arcs? Particularly coming off the back of Ruby’s conflict with Stan, Ben’s issues at school with clothes, and Beth leaving Rio her pearls?

Love these connects. The show’s got a pretty clearly defined and consistent visual/character motifs (this may or may not be the word I’m looking for, shut up) when it comes to depicting the girls priorities and motivations. You also see it reflected and reinforced with their repeated coping mechanisms throughout the show. Whenever bad stuff happens, Ruby goes home to Stan, Annie crawls into bed with Ben and we usually close with Beth either alone (ouch david) or connecting with Rio in some way (exhibit a: the aforementioned pearls). 

In all of the instances it comes back to the heart of their priorities:

Stan is Ruby’s number one, (which isn’t to say her kids aren’t a part of that, I think Stan is both himself in this sense while also representing her whole Hill family unit—TV is all about visual shorthand kids—but also it serves to illustrate that Ruby has something Beth and Annie do not: a true partner). 

Ben is at the root of everything Annie does, she makes choices based on not only his. well-being, but how he sees her and he has the most influence over how she sees herself and what actions she takes as a result of that.

Beth, on the other hand, is at a contrasting point. She’s done the devoted partner and mother thing (lowkey implied by the little bits and pieces we get of her and Annie’s childhoods to some degree more or less for her entire life) and is now putting herself first, her needs, her wants. Which isn’t to say she doesn’t give a fuck about her family, she waits until she’s got a fat stack of cash and they’re taken care of before splurging on a thing, but as a symbol I think the necklace pretty clearly illuminates that for whatever Beth tells herself, she’s building an empire for herself, bc she wants it, needing it is secondary.

5. Eddie’s arrest is arguably what sets us on a collision course with the finale! Do you think Eddie was loyal to Rio until the end? How much do you think he told Turner? And what sort of loyalty do you think Rio inspires in his boys? And why doesn’t it translate with the girls?

OF COURSE EDDIE WAS LOYAL TO THE END HE HAS CLEARLY DEMONSTRATED HE HAS SOME KIND OF CODE OF HONOR HOW DARE YOU SLANDER MY BOY LIKE THAT.

Tbh idk how to answer the loyalty question without more information from canon because the gang and how they operate, how they all came together, etc is pretty well shrouded in not-central-narrative-focus, though I think it’s been implied somewhat heavily that what’s going on with the girls is not standard operating procedure.

My personal headcanon for Eddie is tied up in my personal backstory for Rio and Mick that I started for my (lmao first) Mick POV fic. I gave Rio and Mick a friends since we were kids backstory and decided Eddie was a kid in their neighborhood, slightly younger then them, and always looked up to them/followed them around/thought they were cool. He ultimately got involved in crime because they did and they looked out for him and brought him up with them (which, you know, makes how it all turns out that much more tragic). Obvs, this is all just me and my tendency to imprint on random side characters and give them backstories. Let me live.

6. This episode introduces us to Mary Pat, who’s probably one of this show’s most complicated antagonists! What do you think of her generally? And could you have predicted her arc with Boomer and Turner?

I love her and I’m done lying to myself about it.

LISTEN, first off, Allison Tolman is great. Her line delivery is fantastic, she has a knack for subtly adding SO MUCH to every scene she’s in and uses her face and inflection and pauses exquisitely. Top notch comedic timing. Truly a gem.

Second, on a character level, the lady is in a bad spot and the girls basically gift-wrapped the circumstances and handed them to her like here is a present!!!!!!!!!!!! What was a struggling girl to do besides accept what was offered to her??????!!!!!!???

7. This episode features a very pivotal scene in terms of the Beth, Ruby and Annie dynamic. What starts as tension between Annie and Beth quickly pivots when Ruby criticises Beth and Annie leaps to her sister’s defence. What do you think this tells us about the dynamic between the girls as pairs and as a trio?

I am so!!!! curious!!!!!!! about the backstory that exists in the writers’ heads for Ruby and Annie (all three of them, really, but the bff and little sister having an independent friendship is of particular interest to me bc it isn’t something you, or I guess I, run into a lot) and how much of it was defined at this point vs how much it’s evolved/fluctuated as the show goes on. This fight pretty clearly illuminated that when it really comes down to it, it’s Beth and Annie vs Ruby which a) breaks my heart and b) isn’t totally a dynamic I think the show ultimately stuck with? Or maybe intentionally fluctuates? Idk this is a half-baked thought. Ask again later. 

8. Greg is the one who kisses Annie! Who do you think left who in that relationship, and/or what were the biggest issues in that relationship?

I feel like there’s pretty much no way Annie wasn’t the one that called things off with Greg. Not just because of how it plays out this time but because he’s got a kind of persistent yet also go with the flow attitude that makes me think he would absorb a lot in the name of making it work whereas Annie seems to have a pretty established history of cutting her losses and bailing when she hits her limit. Based on how fond they are of each other and how much affection they clearly still hold, I tend to assume they just grew apart as they grew up which makes it almost more complicated and tragic because it leaves all of the good stuff and just mixes it with the knowledge that it wasn’t enough. 

9. What did you think of Ruby’s sauce story? And what do you think it meant as a turning point for her arc?

I HATE THIS STORY SO MUCH USED BAND AIDS ARE GROSS ENOUGH ON THEIR OWN WITHOUT MIXING IN FOOD SERVICE AND MONTHS, MONTHS, OF MARINATION. I REFUSE TO TALK ABOUT IT. GET OUT OF MY HOUSE.

10. Knowing that Beth, Ruby and Annie’s system of paying Mary Pat off doesn’t work, do you think there was a way they could’ve handled her on their own that would’ve worked? Or do you think Rio’s intimidation (and potential murder) tactic was the only way out?

Idk maybe I’m just cynical, but I take trust no bitch to heart, they pretty well screwed themselves into a corner by being idiots. 

[zankivich]

Teacher’s Pet: A College AU - The Epilogue Part 1

a/n:  I know what you’re thinking....bitch why did this take so long? but like here my out. I started a whole other plus-size woman series, I got writer’s block, school was shit, mental health was shit, and this motherfucker is still like 15k long! so I broke her up into two parts. She’s angsty and cute and hopefully real? idk. I really hope you like. Let me know plz? K bye. 

*Six months later*

“Shawn Peter Raul we are going to be late!” You yelled.

You were late. You were so fucking late, and Karen was going to kill you. You’d only been given one job and that was to get Shawn to graduation on time and in his cap and gown. It had only taken him stepping into the shower beside you that morning to fuck that up. Woops.

“Babe, I can’t find my tie!” He called from the bedroom.

You tapped your heel impatiently against the wooden floors.

“It’s on the dresser next to your cap where I told you it was thirty minutes ago, bud. We gotta go!”

He came walking out in his black slacks and those boots of his that always clacked against the floors. His mother had asked him to wear the tie and it really was going to look beautiful against the backdrop of his floral button up. Your mans was sort of beautiful.

“What?” He asked at the smile that was clear on your face.

You shrugged pulling the tie around his neck to tie it for him.

“Nothing. You just look really good.”  

His fingers came up to touch your waist and you grinned.

“Yea?”

“You know you look good, asshole. Stop flirting with me. We’re late.”

“But you’re so pretty.” He hummed. “What are you doing later?”

“I’m going to see this concert later actually. I got tickets to an Ed Sheeran show. Hear, the opener’s supposed to be good.”

Shawn snorted. “I don’t know. I heard he’s shit. Kid’s got no stage presence.”

“Yea, but he’s kinda hot. Who cares what he sounds like?”

He swatted playfully at your ass for that one before you finally are able to get out the door.

You get to the venue just in time for Shawn to line up with the graduates and you just barely made it to his family, out of breath and sweaty. But, as long as Shawn got to fucking walk everything would be fine.

It had certainly been a hell of a rollercoaster the last few months. Shawn’s spring semester had been hectic to say the least. They had released his first single to astounding reception and everything had blown up since then. He was performing two, three, sometimes four nights out of the week and doing twelve credit hours on top of that. It was more work than either of you had been prepared for, and it definitely wasn’t easy. You snapped at each other sometimes. You got lonely when he was away, and he got lonely too. Sometimes you went weeks without seeing one another. But, he always came back to you. And every time you heard the door open, his keys in the bowl, the tapping of his boots against the hardwood floors, you remembered that it was all worth it. You grew closer because of it, and the fact that you came out of it on the otherside was just a testament to how much both of you were willing to do whatever it took to stick together.

Graduation day was a huge affair for the Mendes family and it was impossible not to get swept up in their energy. They were excited to watch Shawn graduate, and you had the biggest sense of pride as well. After all you had been the one to watch him come home from shows at two in the morning just to write a paper for class the next day. You had sat with him when his anxiety had been at its peak and he hadn’t been able to breathe for minutes or hours at a time. You were there for every low but you were also there for every high. The first time he’d met Ed Sheeran and Andrew had told him that he would be his opener for the North American leg: fifty shows of getting up and playing for an audience every night. You were there when his single had debuted in the top 10 on billboard, and Teddy and he had popped champagne in the middle of one of the practice rooms on campus. You got to watch him live his dream and it was the most beautiful thing in the world for you.

He walked across the stage all overly long limbs and that adorable fucking goofy smile with a diploma in hand. It’s everything you ever wanted for him and you’re so proud that maybe you somehow smudge your eyeliner. It definitely isn’t by crying though, no sirree. Not at all.

Aaliyah catches a picture of Shawn lifting you up in his arms to kiss you just minutes after the ceremony ended and it might just be your favorite picture ever.

There’s a big, huge dinner with Shawn and all of his friends to celebrate their achievement. The excitement of the day reminds you of when you finished undergrad and the feelings that came with that. It really was an incredible achievement and watching the pride of his family and friends as they all celebrated him felt better than good. You just loved knowing that he had done it. He’d gotten the degree and the dream and he was going to go on to have everything he ever wanted. Your love for him meant that watching him get it all filled you with a joy unlike any other. Because you’d never meant anyone that deserved happiness like Shawn did.

You’re sitting at one of the long banquet like tables engrossed in a conversation with Aaliyah about boys, when he comes for you. He had a corona in his hand which he placed beside your much more sophisticated Old Fashioned and his fingertips were icy where they touched gently at your neck.

“Can I steal her away for a second?” He smiled at his sister.

She nodded excitedly shooing each of you  away with both her hands as Shawn tugged you to the dance floor. He wrapped his arms perfectly around your shoulders not even giving you a chance to do anything but sway awkwardly back and forth. But that was the only kind of dancing you wanted to do anyway.

“Hi.” He whispered peering down at you with nothing short but adoration.

You wrapped your arms around his waist in return smiling up at him with similar sentiments.

“Hi.”

“I feel like I haven’t seen you in a very long time. I don’t know if I can let you graduate again if it means all these festivities will keep you away from me.”

You snorted. “You’ll be happy to know that graduate degrees are a lot less of a to-do. Besides the fact that we drove here together, and I saw you thirty minutes ago.”

“Sure, babe, but I had to sit with all those other people for like three hours. And then my mum and my dad made me take more pictures than that photoshoot I did last month. I didn’t even want this party. I’d much rather be cuddled up at home with you.”

“That’s actually really sweet. We’re together now though. Isn’t that what matters?”

He rolled his eyes playfully pulling you closer against his chest so that your eyes no longer met.

“I guess.” He sighed. “Look, I have something I wanted to talk to you about.”

You stilled under his arms, both of you no longer moving on the dance floor.

“What is it? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, sweetheart. I actually talked to Andrew last week. With how well the single has been doing. And the youtube endorsement and the shows with Ed. I’m gonna be able to pay off my parents debt for my college.”

“Babe! That’s incredible. I know how much taking care of them means to you.”

You tried to pull back to look at him, but his arms only tightened around you.

“You’re right. It means a lot to me. But, I also found a place. It’s uh--it’s close enough for you to drive to school every day and close enough for me to get to the studio or anywhere else I might need to be. It’s not in LA or anything like that. It’s just barely bigger than the place you have now but...it’d be ours. If that...if you wanted that.”

Your heart stopped. Your feet stopped. Everything came to a crashing halt. His arms which has been holding you captive broke easily when you tugged away. Shawn could easily take you with brute strength but the knowledge that you wanted him to let you go was all that he ever needed to be stopped. The two of you had talked about moving in together since that day in the beach. It had seemed incredibly unrealistic at the time, mostly because you were two broke college students with no way in hell to afford a Californian apartment. But, that hadn’t stopped you from fantasizing, from whispering to each other in the bed that you shared at night. It just never looked like it would actually happen. For Shawn to surprise you with it on his own graduation day was absolutely ridiculous, and absolutely the kind of thing he would do. And maybe that’s why you were so incredibly in love with him.

“I’ll get a job. I can use my stipend to chip in with rent, but if I work at a bar or something on the weekends? I can help even more.” You smiled.

He frowned at you. “What? Why would you get a job at a bar when you should be focusing on school? Y/n I’m not asking you to pay anything here. I just...I just wanna live with you.”

You could see the softness that seemed to radiate from your gentle giant of a boyfriend. He was always fairytales and roses and nothing else. Of course he’d never ask you to pay anything. But, surely he had to know you and know that you’d never live with him and not hold up your end of the bargain.

“I want to live with you too, Shawn. So, so much. I’m not doing it for free though.” You assured him.

He brought his hands up to cup your face, massive hands covering the majority of your face as he pressed a kiss to your nose and forehead.

“I love you.” He mumbled. “Let’s talk about the details later. Will you move in with me? That’s all that matters right now.”

You knew he’d try to talk you out of it with all of his might. You knew you’d have to stand firm,and that eventually you’d get your way. But every now and again fairytales and roses weren’t such a bad thing. If anything he’d taught you that.

“Yea. Yea, I’ll move in with you.”

“Yea?!” He grinned wrapping you up in his arms again.

“Yea!”

That night you watch him live out his dream in the most tangible way imaginable. On stage in front of twenty thousand people. And you can’t help but remember that night at the bar for the first time. When he just wanted to impress you with his guitar and his words. And he had. Watching him made you stop, made you take notice of every twitch of muscles and every note that came from his lips. You had two favorite Shawns. One was in the mornings. The days when he had decided not to go to gym and you somehow woke up before him. His curls would be wild and matted in some places and the pillow always left red lines on his cheeks. He was beautiful. The other though, was on the stage. His button up would be sweaty and sticky on his back and his eyes would be so wild and bright, so much brighter than the lights even. It never seemed to matter if it was three or three thousand, but every time someone sings the songs back at him he just exudes a happiness unlike anything you’d ever experienced. You know that the stage was his home in the way that he was home for you. And there’s nothing you love more than getting to watch him have that.

It’s only a thirty minute set but when he comes off stage that night he’s alive and full to the brim with energy. He hugs his mum and his dad and his little sister, but when he gets to you he kisses you like it’s maybe the last time he’ll ever see you. And he wraps you up in his arms and doesn’t let you pull alway, not even for a second. It’s like something about his love for the stage transfers to you, and if that’s not the biggest fucking compliment you’re not sure what is.

“Come with me.” He whispered.

He’d barely changed out of his shirt from the set, hadn’t cooled down or anything, before he tugged you into the crowd with everyone else. One second he’s the focal point for everyone in the arena and the next you’re just fans, you’re just people in the crowd enjoying the music. And it’s beautiful and wonderful and you completely forget that your boyfriend is Shawn Mendes, that that means something now. He’s just yours and you don’t have to share him when you’re jumping around like dumbasses to your favorite songs. It feels so good.

But then Ed’s strumming his guitar and asking people to put their phones in the sky, and Shawn’s wraps his arms around your waist from behind.

“I don’t usually dedicate this song to anyone, but a mate of mine asked, and I couldn’t refuse. So, y/n, wherever you are; this one's for you.”

The beginning chords of Perfect begin to play, but how could you ever focus on that through the tears?

“I can’t believe you!” You huffed spinning in his arms to face you.

His palms came up to hold your face in his hands and his lips touched your forehead, touched your lips, touched your ear.

“I wanted you to know that no one has ever loved anyone the way that I love you. This is the only way I knew how!”

And it hits you then in a way that it never has before. It’s not about the fact that your boyfriend got Ed Sheeran to dedicate a love song to you. It’s the inability to say what something is. You use similes and metaphors to try and describe feelings and it never really does it justice. But music, when it is at its most raw and it’s most guttural evokes love and pain and passion in a way that nothing else can. You know his love in that moment because the melodies are recreating it within you. Like it travels into your ear and down into your heart and settles there, nestles warm and soft, forever. And you love him just the same. In a way that consumes a piece of you until it is no longer your own, until it belongs to him as he belongs to you.

He holds you against his chest and he spins you around and he sings the words back into your ear over the loud expanse of the crowd. No one has ever loved anyone the way that you love each other. It’s yours. To have and to hold and to treasure. So you do.

****

*Three years later*

It’s a hard day. It’s been a hard month. A hard year in truth and you’re not sure what to do with it all. Shawn’s been on tour most of the year. His first headlining U.S tour had turned into a European tour had turned into a world tour. But, he was happy and so you were happy. In all honesty you had learned how complex emotions could be in your relationship with Shawn. Because you were happy for him. That was fact. You felt it sincerely and you knew in your bones that it wasn’t a lie. But, you were also sad when he was away. And he’d been away for so long that you were afraid you might forget the sound of his laugh, or the feel of his curls between your fingers. You felt the sadness and the fear and….and anger. There was an anger there too. At him? At yourself? At every single person who got to file into a room every night and see your boyfriend before you did?

But none of that was meant to matter that day. You were being honored with an award that night for your research. It was a really big deal because there grant money involved and you were the youngest person to ever win the award. There was a banquet And in your field there was rarely ever enough money for there to be a banquet. And Shawn was going to come. Shawn had promised he would come.

You’re on your way to get your hair done for the event when the call comes in.

“Babe!” You squeaked as the speaker phone kicked in. “I am on my way to the hair salon as we speak. Gotta try and look good if I’m gonna be stood next to you huh? Did you get your suit?”

“H--Hey sweetheart, listen I uh--”

“No. No. Shawn please, no.” You sighed pulling to a stop at the red light.

You hit weakly at the steering wheel in protest.

“I’m so sorry. Listen I--I’m so sorry. Andrew scheduled a last minute interview and the flights just aren’t lining up. I couldn’t say no.”

You chuckled. “Couldn’t say no. All I’ve heard in the last six months is no, but god forbid Andrew hear the word no.”

“Y/n, that’s not fair. You know how much this all means to me.”

“Yea, no, of course I do. I know how much everything means to you, Shawn, but what about me? Don’t I--do I pull any weight at all?”

The light turns green and your foot stutters on the gas like your lip stutters as the tears start to build again. There’d been an attempt to use “I feel” statements lately. It was your therapists idea. The idea that you should be sharing how you feel instead of stifling it as was usually your initial instinct. The problem became when you were overcome with emotion, the last thing you wanted to do was follow that stupid fucking exceriese.

“Of course you do. Do you wanna tell me what you’re feeling right now?”

Ugh.

“I feel like my boyfriend is an asshole. I feel like there is a line of fifty thousand people in front of me to visit who is supposed to be the love of my life. And everytime I think I’ve got my ticket? Every time I think I’m at least somewhere in the line of people in your life? Someone else just gets to jump in front because they’re more important.” You huffed as a tear ran angrily down your cheek. “This night meant so much to me. All I wanted was for you to be there. It’s the only thing I wanted.”

“Baby I--”

You don't think you can stand to hear him say sorry again, don’t think your fucking heart could take it. So, you hang up and you sit in the parking lot of your salon for fifteen minutes bawling your eyes out before you go and get your hair done because the world doesn’t stop spinning because your boyfriend’s a jackass. Which he is.

You get all dolled up that night in this beautiful black gown with a dangerously high knee slit . It was supposed to make you feel powerful, ethereal, beautiful. And somehow not having Shawn there just fucks all of that up. You just wanted him to be proud of you, wanted him to share in these important moments of your life the way that you had been there for every single one of his. It hurts worse than you knew what to do with. You can’t put makeup on that night because every few minutes you have to blink angrily to keep the tears at bay. The worst part is remembering how much Shawn loved you without it, and knowing that if he would’ve showed up he would’ve told you how beautiful you were. But, he wasn’t.

The ceremony is beautiful. You’re surrounded by the most intelligent people in your field and it makes you appreciate the work that you all are doing, validates that you’re not alone in that work. You’re sat a table with people who will probably go on to save the world, if it isn’t already too badly damaged, and that means something to you. Half way through the night your phone vibrates in the clutch you’d gotten to match your dress, which literally only fit your phone in it. It’s Shawn. Usually you would’ve excused yourself from whatever was going on to talk to Shawn. Your moments with him could often times feel fleeting and small. But tonight wasn’t about him for once. It was about you. And tonight you got to be the one who was too busy. If only for tonight.

You’re sitting at the bar sipping on whiskey on the rocks because you’re not driving home and they’ve already given you the award so who cares if you get a little tipsy when he comes up. He’s maybe just under six feet and his hair is brown and neatly trimmed though the shade is much too dark for your liking. He’s got wild green eyes and it pairs lovely with the darkness of his suit which happens to pair lovely with the darkness of your dress. Before you even blinked he’s sitting beside you and turning those green eyes on you. You noticed that his eyes were kind, and that you liked that.

“Hi.” He murmured nodding his head towards the glass in your hand. “Scotch?”

You grinned slightly. “Whiskey.”

“Ah, my kind of woman. Can I have whatever she’s having?” He asked the waiter.

You’d already had one so your head is feeling a little fluttery. You leaned your chin against your palm so you could see him better.

“You received an award for your work with Trans sexworkers in Atlanta right?”

“Yea, actually. Although most of the credit should go to my research partner Clara. Me being a cis-het male, who’s white-passing doesn’t exactly harber a connection with folks who have been victimized from people who look like me. I just was really fascinate by the topic and wanted to help in whatever way that I could.”

You nodded. “Yea, no I understand. The hardest thing is wanting to do work that elevates untold stories, but recognizing your privilege is deeply rooted in their oppression. Sometimes you just have to bow out. At least that’s what I think. But, uh I did my thesis for my masters on mental health and trans women. Most of my research ended up being tailored to Black women and women of color in LA because I was close and they was a bigger community of folks. I was really fascinated when I read your study.”

“Well thank you that means a lot coming from you. You’re kind of like the belle of the ball here.”

You snorted. Actually snorted. Ugh.

“I highly doubt that. I’ve only been alive a fraction of the time some people around here having been making meaningful impacts on their communities.”

“And yet you were given the most prestigious honor of the night.”

“Hmmm… You’ve got me there. Guess I’m kind of a badass.” You joked bringing your drink up to your lips.

You watched his eyes dip down to your mouth and perhaps you began to catch on that this wasn’t simply about your work.

The waiter placed his drink in front of him and he moved to take a sip only to wince as the alcohol burned his throat.

“Jesus. You are a badass.” He coughed.

“People tend to underestimate a woman’s ability to drink men under the table. Your shitty beer has nothing on my long islands. Assuming of course that we’re sticking to very gendered understandings of drinking, which I guess if my drink is anything to go off of, we’re not.”

He smiled at you and it made you un-cross and re-cross your legs. You hadn’t been smiled at like that in a long time.

“I never got the chance to introduce myself officially. I’m Jaden.”

He asked you more about what you were working on at the time. He offered suggestions for parameters to meet the needs of the communities you were working with. You talked about politics for a little while, and about the latest celebrity male that had been ostracized from the community for sexual assault or rape or persuasion or some other awful thing. It felt good to have someone to talk to, someone who understood. And sitting there, you could see it. You see how simple of a life it would have been to be with someone like him. Someone who’s work aligned with your own, someone who’s passions in life were similar. It would easier, for sure.

But, the second he’d stepped up to that bar the only thing your mind had registered was that he wasn’t Shawn. His hair color was off. He had neatly trimmed facial hair that thankfully Shawn didn’t.  His eyes weren’t the perfect shade of brown. And he would never cause the same excitement of Shawn sending you a news article about a terrible thing going on in the world, and knowing that his ability to critique and to learn had started with an intro to feminism course those few years ago. Shawn wasn’t an expert on all things social justice, but he cared because you did, and he made the effort to be plugged into your world. Well, except for tonight. And the last couple of months. Why’d you have to go and fuck up now?

“So uh...if you don’t mind me asking, there was a lot of talk about your boyfriend showing up here tonight.” Jaden finally murmured.

You hummed. “Really? Is that a thing that you all talk about?”

“Not me necessarily, but even human rights activists like a little gossip. I think rock-star heart throb makes that list.”

“At least you’re honest, I suppose.”

He smirked. “And you’re deflecting.”

“You never asked me a question.”

“Fair. Why isn’t your boyfriend here with the most beautiful woman in the room?”

You bit your lip eyes straining to your glass.

“I--I’m not sure.”

You don’t know why you said that. You knew Shawn had said there was press. There were interviews. There were things that needed his attention. You just couldn’t quite figure out why you weren’t one of them. What was wrong with you?

“I mean….I should--I should go.”

His hand reached out to touch your bare knee stilling you into silence. You hadn’t been touched by anyone who wasn’t Shawn in years.

“Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to freak you out I just...You’re gorgeous. You’re incredibly intelligent, one of the smartest people in this room. The way you talked about your work tonight on that stage told me that your heart is absolutely massive. I’m struggling to understand a world where you’re not appreciated to the fullest degree. You gotta know you deserve that.”

His touch turned to fire on your skin. The fact that no one besides Shawn had touched you had been purposeful, and this, this felt wrong. He wasn’t yours and you weren’t his and more than that you didn’t want to be. So, you stood up and smoothed out your dress before downing the rest of your drink. You hoped that you looked graceful and elegant despite feeling like absolute shit inside. You wondered how long you’d feel like absolute shit inside.

“You have a nice night, Jaden.”

The driver waits outside for you and stumbling into the back seat slightly past tipsy and sad is not a good luck. You just wanted your dumb boyfriend to show up. That’s all that you had asked for. And now some dumbass had hit on you and tried to make you feel special and it’s not that that’s what you wanted at all. You didn’t want anyone to make you feel special, you wanted Shawn to be the one to do it. You just wanted him.

The tears began to well up again and before you knew it you were croaking at your driver to head for the nearest place that offered burgers.

“Ma’am that’s not really within my purview.”

You sniffled. “P--Please? I’ll pay whatever overtime there is.”

He looked at you in the mirror and maybe he pitied you a little bit because eventually you wind up parked outside your apartment barefoot with a cheeseburger in one hand and your fancy glass award in the other. The driver helps you to your door because whiskey is a hell of a drink and you spend some time fumbling with your keys before bursting through the door. You tip him double. You’re kind of a shit show; he deserves it.

You’re still munching on your cheeseburger and tripping over the trane of your dress when you stumble upon the flowers and the candles. In all honesty the alcohol is talking and it doesn’t really register in the way that it does. His bags are still on the ground by the door and the deeper you walk into the apartment the more his smell starts to linger in the air. You’d always found that so interesting. Shawn could be in Tokyo or Switzerland or Mexico, but every time he came home he still smelled like him. You loved that.

He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cupcake in front of him when you arrived. He turned to look at you and you could tell he hadn’t slept or shaved. There were bags beneath his eyes and a scruff on his chin. His hair was messy like he’d been tugging on it. But, he smiled when he saw you, eyes gentle and searching. This was home. Right here with him. Even an intoxicated you knew that.

“W--What are you doing here?”

“I changed the in-person interview to a phone interview. I tried to change my flight earlier to get here in time, I swear to you I did, but...this was the best I could do.” He sighed stepping heasistantly closer to you. “You look so beautiful in that dress, baby.”

Your eyes fluttered down to the ground shifting your weight back and forth on your ankles. The tears were coming again.

“Thanks.” You mumbled blinking down at your toes. “What’s with all the flowers and candles?”

He’s a little closer now. He’s trying to make eye contact with you, but he won’t reach out and touch unless you give him permission. You know that about him.

“I just wanted to show you that I care, that I’m here for you like you’re there for me. I--I wanted to apologize too, for ever making you feel like that wasn’t the case. You have every right to be angry with me. I guess I just wanted to try and make it up to you somehow.”

You don’t say anything back and he takes another step forward until your standing right in front of each other. The burger is long forgotten in your hand and the award feels even heavier in your grasp. He looks a little desperate in his eyes, an expression you don’t see from Shawn very often. He’s nervous. You wonder a little what he sees on your face that makes him feel this way.

“Babe,” His voice cracks around the word. “Y/n. Please, won’t you look at me?”

You sniffle and struggle to tilt your head up at him, but even then you can’t look him in the eye.

“What’s wrong? Did something happen at the dinner?”

A laugh burst past your lips and you wish you knew where the hell it came from.

“Are you drunk?”

He must have smelled the whiskey.

“Maybe.” you shrugged. “Still working on it though.”

You take another bite of the burger and shuffle past Shawn to get to the liquor cabinet in the kitchen. You know he’s directly behind you in the way your body knows when he settles into the bed at night behind you. It’s a sixth sense of some kind.

“Hey can we--can we just talk, please? Tell me what’s going through your head right now.”

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea.” You mumbled.

“Why? You’re freaking me out, y/n. Just talk to me.”

You don’t raise your voices at each other. It’s a thing that you have. You used to watch your dad yell at your mom when you were a little kid, and truthfully just watched men in various stages of anger. It always made you flinch. You must have confessed it once during a night with a little too much to drink, or a night when he’s made you feel so happy you forgot what a secret even was. He’d never really, intentionally raised his voice before, but after that night he’d purposely kept his voice calm in even the angstiest of times with you. Right now his voice is edging up an octave. It’s not yelling, doesn’t even make you flinch, but you notice that he’s not a hundred percent composed.

You settle your palms against the kitchen counter trying to tether yourself to the room, to the moment. Usually Shawn always did that for you, but right now you’ve never felt more away.

“There was a guy tonight.”

It slips out. It’s like word vomit. Everything you’re thinking is moving much faster than your mouth is capable of, and the whiskey acts as a truth serum to your innermost thoughts. No amount of alcohol in the world could ever make you forget the look on his face when you said it though, the way his mouth just sort of popped open. His palm comes to rest over his heart like maybe just that alone was enough to break him. And suddenly you’re hurting too. You’re hurting more than him missing any dumb banquet could ever accomplish because this is Shawn’s pain. Shawn’s pain always hurts more.

“What does that mean? What do you--what happened?”

“Nothing. Nothing happened. I was just sitting at the bar drinking and he sat down. He told me he loved my work. H--He did research with Trans sex-workers in Atlanta and we talked about that. He’s pro prison abolition. He studied anthropology and political science in undergrad and got his PhD in critical race theory. And he--”

“The point, y/n. Get to the point. So he’s perfect for you is that what you’re trying to tell me? He’s smarter than me, he cares more about human rights, he’s dedicated his life to the same work that you do. What are you saying to me right now?”

He’s freaking out. You’re freaking out.

“Maybe? Yea, maybe he’d be better for me.”

He blinks, shock clear on his face. He thumbs at his lip and those are tears in his eyes. A curl falls down to his forehead, but you know that it’s not your place to fix it right now. Don’t know how you can fix any of it.

“You don’t mean that.”

A tear hits your bottom lip and it shocks you into speech.

“I do. I really do. He’d be a lot better for me. H--He said I was the most beautiful woman in the room tonight.” Your lip trembled, the tears flowing freely now.

He reaches for you palms up, touching gently at the fabric of your dress, but you pull yourself back more firmly against the counter. You’ve gotta get it out while you can and he can’t be touching you or you’ll just fall apart in his hands. You know yourself too well.

“Y--You are beautiful. When have I ever told you you’re not beautiful? Y/n, I love you with all of my heart, why are you doing this?”

“Could you just shut the fuck up for two seconds?!” You snapped fingers pulling anxiously at your hair.

There’s a tear drop hanging off the edge of his chin that your fingers itch to wipe away, but you can’t. Not yet.

“I know my own worth okay? I know my own worth and I know what I deserve and this isn’t it. And it is not because of your career. I--I love what you do, and it makes me so fucking happy to watch you live your dream. I don’t resent your music or your fans or the fame. I can deal with all of it, I swear I can. What I can’t deal with is coming last all of the time. It’s a show and then it’s a music video, an award show, a studio run, and now an interview? The biggest moment of my career and you can’t make it because of an interview?”

“B--But I’m here right now! I came as soon as I could! I am doing my best.”

“Yea? You’re telling me that the night you won your first grammy, if I had skipped it to meet with a client that would have been okay with you?”

He pauses and you know it makes more sense than anything else to him. That situating things in his world will help him see.

“Look none of that matters. None of it matters. Because I’ve never loved anyone the way that I love you.”

He wipes angrily at his eyes with the back of his hand and sniffles.

“What?”

“That guy at the bar? He came up to me and all that I could think about...was you. And how he wasn’t you. And how much all I wanted was for you to come home. Even though I’d spent all afternoon crying over you, I still want you. I would rather have the worst of you than the best of someone else. And that’s fucked up. And I hate that. But, it’s true.”

“So you didn’t--You’re not leaving me?”

“No. I couldn’t even if I wanted to. I just want you to want to care about me, I guess. That’s all I ever wanted.”

When he reaches for you this time you let him. When he wraps his arms around you and tucks you under his chin it’s instant warmth, instant safety, and instant healing. Really all it takes is for him to be present to soothe you, and that’s all you’d been trying to say from the beginning.

Neither of you talk that night. You’re too busy holding each other in bed. He’s still in his jeans and t-shirt from the plane and you don’t even take your dress off. It’s a little hard to remember all of the pain when you’re re-familiarizing yourself with his scent. When his fingers are in your hair or drawing shapes along your spine. You know that it’s late and that you should definitely be asleep but you fight it every step of the way because finally he’s here with you and you’re not ready to give that up yet. And with your head perched against his chest listening to the rhythm of his heart and the sound of his breath, you know that he isn’t either. Somehow though, even after the different time zones and the flights, he’s going to out last you and you both know it. The last thing you remember is his lips touching your ear.

“Go to sleep. I swear to you I’ll be here when you wake up.”

His arms tightened around you and that was all it took.

When you wake up it’s because the sun is lighting up the room again. There are blown out candles everywhere and more rose petals on the bed. A headache blooms behind your eyelids and you almost forget everything that happened the night before. But when your eyes open Shawn’s still sitting there against the headboard, arms and legs crossed, like he hadn’t moved all night.

“Did you sleep?” You croaked, voice still tired from the booze and crying.

He shook his head softly. “Couldn’t.”

It takes a little bit for you to sit up. You’re body already feels old and you’re not even thirty yet as you hunch yourself into a sitting position on your knees. Your dress bunches around your thighs and the slit comes to rest dangerously high, your lace underwear sticking slightly out. In a simpler world that would’ve been Shawn’s focus. But you’re not there yet.

Shawn’s not looking at you when he speaks initially. It’s quiet, no movement in the room except for the dust motes twirling in the air. And even when he speaks the room still feels too still.

“I spent all night trying to figure out what to do.” He started. “I thought about...about what it would feel like to let you go? If that guy was truly better for you.”

You sighed. “Shawn he was just some random guy at the bar. It didn’t mean anything.”

“But it did, didn’t it? It’s not the guy, it’s about what he can offer you. What any other normal guy could offer you that I’m not. And if I loved you, if I really loved you wouldn't I give you that? Shouldn’t my main priority be to make you happy?”

He’s scaring you now. And maybe you deserve it. Maybe he’s been waiting all this time to call it quits to decide that it’s not worth it to try and meld your lives together anymore.

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I’m not as good of a person as I thought I was. Because I can’t give you up. I don’t--I don’t want to give you up. I love you more than anyone I’ve ever loved. I can’t even imagine my life not intertwined with yours.

“Last night was the worst night of my life. To know that I haven’t shown you the love that you deserve kills me. Loving you is all I’ve ever wanted. And I’m not even doing it right.” He sighed finally turning to look at you with tears in his eyes. “Y/n I’m so sorry. I can’t even begin to...I just want to deserve you.”

Your minds must be in sync because you both reach for each other at the same time. There’s crying and you’re both trying to hold each other’s faces and wipe away tears at the same time. It’s ridiculous and sappy but it’s so fucking nourishing .

“I love you.” He whimpered against your mouth. “I’m so sorry. I’m gonna make it better, I promise.”

He starts with breakfast in the kitchen. You're both still in clothes from the night before. And while your eating his scrambled eggs and toast you hear him sit in the living room and talk to Andrew for over thirty minutes to change his schedule around. You don’t realize that’s what he’s doing until you start hearing the “no’s” over and over again. When he comes back to you he nuzzles his head against yours kissing crumbs away from your lips.

“I talked to Andrew.” He explained. “I’m gonna take a few weeks off instead of promo between legs. And when the tour is finished we’re gonna sit down and re-evaluate my schedule. And I--I’d like you to be there if you want. Maybe you can bring your schedule and we can coordinate times to just be together?”

It was such a drastic shift that you just sort of stared at him for a minute, lips parted, eyes wide.

“Just us?”

He reaches for your fingers and brings them to his lips.

“Yea. Just us. I was actually gonna ask if you might want to go on a trip with me.”

“A trip to where?”

“I uh I hadn’t actually gotten that far, but I figured we could pick together.” He smiled. “Just wanna be with you for a little while.”

“Shawn,” You sighed. “You don’t have to do all of this. I don’t need the world alright? I just need you. It’s all I ever wanted.”

“Yea well, what if I wanna give you both?”

He pecked quickly at your lips and down to the crook of your neck.

“The only reason I should ever make you cry should be from cumming so hard it brings tears to your eyes. I’ve got a lot of loss time to make up for, but I’d really like to try if you’ll let me.”

You peek over at him and it’s just as well. He really is the devil in the body of a god. It’s so fucking rude.

“Yea well I’m not gonna say no to that so just fucking take me already.”

And take you he did.

TBC

taglist: @shawnieeeeboy

[self-proclaimed-chaotic-good]

Prospecting Gold | Carlton Drake x Reader

(AKA The Chemical Husbands turning into relationship counselors)

Words: 3846

Crossover: Venom x The Sisters Brothers

A/N: Idk why I keep writing Carlton Drake stories that involves weddings or being engaged, but never married. One day! One day I will write reader getting married to Carlton. Just not yet. I hope the format isn’t too confusing. It’s a bit dialogue heavy and I kind of envisioned it in movie scene sequence, so feel free to leave feedback on how it is.

Chemical Husbands = Hermann Warm x John Morris

-

You packed the last luggage and flopped onto the bed while you waited for Carlton to finish in the bathroom. With his space venture launched, he proposed a vacation and an opportunity for you to meet his twin brother. He had mentioned his twin many times when he spoke about his childhood and while their interests were quite similar, they ended up going their separate ways, living different lives. While Carlton researched in biomedical engineering, Hermann researched in chemistry and sustainable science.

“Where exactly is his place?” you asked.

Carlton’s head popped out of the bathroom, shaving cream on his cheeks. “Dallas. Country side. He lives with a friend who inherited acres of land and an estate there,” he said before shuffling back in to finish shaving. You could hear the faint sound of the razor gliding across his skin, followed by tapping as he flicks off the excess foam into the sink. “He never liked the city life. I was surprised when he got in contact with me last year. I hadn’t spoken to him since… I don’t know. I don’t even remember why we stopped talking.”

“I mean, it sounded like you two were close growing up,” you said, kicking your feet in the air and started doing bicycles.

“Yeah, yeah we were,” Carlton said, walking out of the bathroom, wiping his face clean. He sat next to you. “You two will get along fast. I just know it. My brother… he’s the type to see the good in people- “

“While you’re the pessimistic one,” you added.

Carlton narrowed his eyes at you, pushing down your legs and hovered over you. “Anyways,” he punctuated as you giggled up at him, “Not sure about his friend, but I think you’ll like it there. He sent me pictures and everything. The house has an extension that connects to the main house by a covered walkway, so we have an area to ourselves.”

“That sounds nice,” you hummed, running your fingers along his smooth, freshly shaven jawline. “But why did he contact you all of a sudden?”

“He asked if I could invest in his new company,” he said with a shrug, “I thought why not. He never liked working with those large corporations. They often tried to steal his ideas anyways, so I understand why he’d do it. I wanted him to work with me, but it wasn’t his thing.”

“You’re probably too bossy that’s why.”

“I’m not. Why, did someone say that? Was it one of the research scientists?”

“Carlton, honey, I’m your assistant. You are bossy,” you said, poking between his eyebrows to stop his frowning, “And temperamental. And a workaholic. And from what I’ve gathered from your stories, he’s the patient, level-headed type that appreciates the simple things in life.”

“Yeah, you two are definitely going to get along just fine.”

-

Carlton insisted on carrying the luggage for you while you looped an arm around his. He was finally out of that black tracksuit, suit jacket and plain t-shirt ensemble, and in a more casual flannel and jeans attire. Breaking out from the crowd of the airport, you spotted a man that looked practically identical to your boyfriend, but instead of the groomed cut hair, his dark hair was windblown and curled at the ends, a small moustache trimmed over a friendly smile. He waved happily at the two of you, walking up to take the bags from Carlton despite his stubborn protests.

“You must be (Y/n),” he said, “I’m Hermann, Carlton’s brother… obviously. It’s a pleasure to meet the woman that melted my brother’s frozen heart.”

“Very funny, Herm,” Carlton muttered, fighting a smile with irritation.

A tall man with brown hair and blue eyes climbed out from the truck’s driver’s seat to help Hermann carry the bags into the trunk with ease. “Oh, uh, this is my fiancé, John Morris,” Hermann said, gesturing to the man with a wide smile and bright eyes. “John?”

The man, John, closed the trunk gate and turned to face the group. “Pleasure to meet you, (Y/n),” he said, taking your outstretched hand and kissed it with a wink. You laughed behind your other hand, risking a glance at Carlton whose eyes were slightly wide as his brother’s admission.

“Fiancé? Congratulations, you two!” you said.

“And you must be Carlton, Hermann’s brother.” John took his hand in a tight grip and shook it firmly with a forced smile as Carlton hid a wince.

“Uh, you never mentioned that you got engaged,” Carlton said to his brother once John released his hand.

Hermann scratched the back of his head sheepishly. “Yeah, it happened recently. I wanted to surprise you, being that you’re the closest family I have, so…”

“I’m very surprised. Uh, congratulations! Perhaps we should get something to eat as a celebration? I’m paying, of course,” Carlton suggested as he wrapped an arm around you.

Hermann grinned, “That’s very generous of you. What do you say, John?”

“Well, if the man is paying…,” John said with a shrug.

Carlton helped you into the large truck and climbed in after you, glancing back as his brother and John were discussing something. “I don’t think he likes me,” he muttered next to your ear.

“He’s probably being cautious,” you assured him, patting his thigh. “He’ll like you, or at least tolerate you, eventually.”

“Engaged, huh?” he mumbled under his breath as Hermann and John made their way back into the truck.

“You guys are going to love it there!” Hermann said excitedly as he clambered up the passenger’s seat.

Throughout the rest of the drive, Hermann and Carlton shared stories from their childhood, inputting from how they remembered it and sometimes arguing on past events, much to your amusement, the carefree laugh that bubbled out of him made your heart swell. Carlton pointed out how Hermann used to be bullied in school because he was easy to walk over, so he had to stand up for him even if came to throwing punches before notifying the nearest teacher. It was so frequent that Carlton ran for class president so no one could touch either of them. Not to mention that they were two of the teachers’ favorite students. Then, they moved on to what they had been up to since they went their separate ways. Hermann dropped out of college, travelling a lot and learned about the world and how he could help people and the environment while Carlton went to an ivy league university and made a few breakthrough discoveries in the medicine field.

“So, what do you do, John?” Carlton asked, wanting to know the man that his brother fell in love with.

John’s blue eyes flickered to Carlton through the rearview mirror. “I’m a writer,” he said, “freelancing here and there. Wrote a novel or two.”

Your brain scanned through all the books you’ve seen at bookstores and gasped. “You wrote The Prospectors, didn’t you? You’re that John Morris?” you asked, leaning against his seat.

John chuckled. “Indeed, I did. Now, give me your honest opinion… how boring was it?”

“No! It was amazing!” you said, leaning back in your chair, “I read that book in one sitting. Although, it did have a bittersweet ending. While Elizabeth and Charlotte Brothers finally made it home, I really wanted Joan and Hera to have a happy ending, but their demise were left open ended. What really happened?”

“While that I’m glad that you’re invested in my characters, what happens to Joan and Hera is open to speculations. You can think of all the theories you want, and I will be glad to hear about them.”

“I bet there’s a lot of fanfiction for this book,” you muttered, knowing that if there was a dissatisfying ending to any story, there will be fans out there to rectify it.

Hermann nodded. “There is, I’ve read some. They’re quite good, too,” he said. “Have you read it, Car?”

Carlton shook his head. “No, I’m afraid I haven’t.”

“Well, I imagine you’re quite busy running an entire company of that scale,” Hermann said. “You deserve a break from all of that. I’m sure (Y/n) would appreciate the opportunity to spend time together. There’s so much sights to see. Look out the window.”

You leaned to the side and watched as the truck continued a long stretch of road lined by trees as they neared the country side. John took a turn, showing a glimpse of a lake below the cliffside, the sunlight glimmering off the smooth surface. You felt Carlton’s warm hands slide into yours and squeezed affectionately. It had been months since the two of you had time to relax, what with running a huge groundbreaking research facility. Although you were his assistant, he barely left the lab or his office, buried in paperwork.

After dinner at the fanciest restaurant Hermann could think of that was within miles of their estate, John drove the group to the estate, off the main road and in a clearing overlooking a lake. A gate blocked the driveway, which swung open after Hermann pressed a large white button that was clipped to the sun visor. Even Carlton couldn’t hide how impressed he was at the sight of the luxurious two story, four bed room, with a housing extension, estate. While Carlton built his facility and his home near a cliffside overlooking the ocean, there was something about the seclusion and the calm of nature that took his breath away.

Hermann showed you and Carlton your living area for the time being and went to leave the two of you to unpack. Carlton had offered to walk Hermann to the front door and left. You squealed in excitement and ran to the wide balcony, taking a deep breath of fresh air and allowing the cool wind envelope you. As much as you loved San Francisco and the ocean, you needed to get away from all that pollution and noise.

“Amazing, isn’t it?” John asked from behind you.

You opened your eyes and nodded. “And all of this belongs to you,” you said.

“On paper, yes. But it’s strange to say that a section of land belongs to anyone,” he said, leaning against the railing next to you. “We’re glad that you’re here. Both of you. Hermann hadn’t spoke about his brother until later in our relationship, but he admitted that he missed him. It’s strange to see someone identical to him and yet feel so different.”

“They’re like the sun and moon.”

-

As the two brothers reached the kitchen of the main house, Hermann turned and crossed his arms, leaning against the granite counter.

“Come now, brother, I’m sure you hadn’t walked me back here out of courtesy,” Hermann teased, raising an eyebrow.

Carlton chuckled. “Well… I just wanted to talk with my own brother alone, that’s all.” Hermann looked unconvinced, making the forced smile drop from his face. He sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face as he started to pace.

Hermann sighed at his brother’s distress. “Coffee?”

-

“You didn’t seem to like Carlton when you first met him,” you commented, facing John.

John grimaced. “Sorry about that. It’s just, from what Hermann had told me, the last time they spoke, before Hermann reached out to him last year, they were in a huge argument. His brother wanted him to work under his company, but Hermann disagreed with the way he was running things.” John crossed his arms, leaning his back against the cool rail. “Hermann was too soft, apparently, too naïve, and was told that he will always get run over if he continues to act that way. Hermann said he rather be soft and naïve instead of cold and arrogant and controlling like him. More insults were thrown that landed in the other’s weak spot and they never spoke again. I was just being protective of Hermann when I heard that he invited his brother and his other half over to the estate.”

“But, I’m okay, right?” you said, trying to lighten the mood.

The corner of John’s lips turned up. “You are more than okay in my books. How did you end up with a guy like him? No offence.”

You shrugged. “Cold, arrogant, controlling, that sounds like Carlton. Of course, being his assistant for a while, having to remind him about things from business meetings to making sure he ate, running errands for him, and seeing him in his working environment, I’ve come to see what kind of person he was and when he went too far, I wasn’t afraid to voice my opinion. He had worked the scientists to the ground. We were so close, he said, and they couldn’t stop to rest. I told him it was cruel, and nothing would get done if they are working in exhaustion. He had also run himself down, told me not to tell anyone when he almost collapsed in his office from dehydration and exhaustion. I told him he was being ridiculous, and he told me to just do as I was told.”

You shook your head at the memory of his stubbornness and the scare that it gave you when you saw him stumble against his desk. When he snapped at you, you slapped him before you even realized what you were doing. You honestly thought he was going to fire you right there and then. It was unprofessional of you. Bosses were bound to snap at some point, and as an assistant, you just had to take it in stride. What possessed you to do such a thing, you weren’t sure at the time.

“And how did he win your affection? Was it his dedication and recklessness? If so, it may be a shared trait of theirs.” You both laughed fondly at your respective boyfriend’s charm.

“That sounds about right,” you agreed, “and he also… he actually listened to me. He became kinder, more thoughtful, slightly humbler. Slightly. He can only change so much, right? But, working for him so closely, and for him to actually value my help and opinion, I grew to care for him deeply. It was honestly a shock when he asked me out on a date.”

“How so?”

“He never seemed to be the relationship type. Married to his work and all that.”

-

Carlton sighed for the hundredth time as he stared down at the swirling dark liquid in his mug, his twin sitting across from him at the kitchen table. Hermann rolled his eyes, taking a sip of own coffee, then wiped the remnants from his moustache. He studied his brother’s face, trying to discern what was giving him grief.

“You know, twin telepathy doesn’t work if you don’t look at me,” Hermann spoke up, snapping Carlton out of his daze. “You seem troubled.”

Carlton went to open his mouth and sighed again. “I just… I’m scared, Herm.”

Hermann’s brows furrowed, his body leaning forward and ready to listen. “You can tell me anything. You know that.”

“I was going to wait to talk to you about this, but hearing that you and John got engaged, it got me thinking…,” Carlton trailed off, but the implication was there. He raised his head, his brown eyes showing a swirl of excitement and anxiety.

Hermann’s own brown eyes widened. “Whoa, Car, are you serious? This is a big commitment- “

“I know.”

He raised a hand as if to pause him. “Are you sure you’re ready for this, though? There’s no doubt that you two love each other, but marriage is a whole other thing. Even if you work together, there’s many things to consider- “

“Well,” Carlton shrugged, lifting his hands slightly, “how did you and John know when you were ready?”

“When we know that we can work things out, worked on our communication, showing each other respect and consideration,” Hermann listed. “I mean, for me, I just knew, you know? When I first met him, spoke to him for only a day, I felt like I knew him my whole life. It’s different for others.” Hermann then smiled, tilting his head to the side. “How did you know (Y/n) was the one?”

Carlton snorted. “She slapped me and calls me out on my bullshit.” Hermann nodded matter-of-factly, impressed by her potential sister-in-law. Of course, Carlton would fall for someone like that. “She checks in on me, not just reminding me to eat and drink, but my mental state, and she knows when I’m upset or when I’m tired. Sometimes she surprises me with her wit and makes me smile. She just… she’s so intelligent. So beautiful.”

“Ah, the Belle to your Beast,” Hermann mused. “Have you talked about it to her yet?”

Carlton shook his head. “No, I… well, she brought it up a couple of times. Just mentioned things here and there, especially when her friends got married. And I’d just…” He dropped his head.

“You brushed it off,” Hermann finished. He took another sip of coffee and readied himself if his brother wanted to argue. “You know, the longer you drag this, the more she’s going to question the state of your relationship. I’m sure she might wait, but if you keep dismissing the subject- “

“I know.”

-

“Carlton is probably just not ready,” you reasoned, “I mean, he’s so busy right now. Sure, we work and live together, but marriage is another thing, right?”

“I’m afraid it’s not my place to say,” John said, “but I do know that you need to talk to him if it’s bothering you that much. You have the rest of your vacation to discuss it.”

“Right. Of course.”

John lead you back inside as the temperature dropped along with the sun. You plopped yourself on the soft plushie couch in the living room downstairs and hugged the nearest pillow. John sat at the other end with one foot on the floor and the other leg bent on the sofa to accommodate the space. He watched as you sorted through your thoughts, your frown deepening the longer you took.

Eddie and Anne were one of the first of your closest friends to get married. You were so happy for them, happy that they found their way back to each other. You had joked to Carlton that day that you wanted your wedding with him to be bigger and you were sure he can afford it, but he nodded stiffly and looked away. When Tony and Pepper got married, their wedding was extravagant, of course. Tony was a diva and Pepper deserved it for having to put up with Tony as his assistant turned girlfriend and CEO of Start Industries. Tony pointed at Carlton and questioned why he wasn’t marrying his own assistant yet, for which he sneered that it wasn’t any of his business before walking briskly away and leaving you in an awkward position. Tony being Tony tried to make light of the situation while Pepper looked at you sympathetically.

“I guess marriage isn’t for everyone,” you found yourself saying, “maybe he’s fine with the way things are. I mean, we don’t necessarily have to get married. It’s something that’s on a piece of paper. We’re technically under a common law marriage by living together and what not… Right?”

John shrugged. “Again, I can’t say for you, (Y/n).”

-

Carlton ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “What if she says no?”

His brother gave an indignant laugh. “And what if she says yes? Carlton, it’s been almost a whole day since I’ve met (Y/n) and the way she looks at you, the way she talks about you… she’s crazy about you. And,” he emphasized, pointing at him, “she’s crazy to even be with you.”

Carlton smiled at this, then frowned. “She deserved better,” he muttered.

Hermann sputtered at the sudden change. “Are you serious? What happened to my confident and arrogant brother?”

“This is different! I’ve… I’ve never been in this deep before! I’m scared,” he repeated his earlier confession. “You know how it was, right? We were looked down for so long and I wanted my visions to be put into action and show the world what I can do. I didn’t have anything to lose when I rose from nothing.”

Hermann leaned his elbows on the table and rested his chin on his palm. “This is more than just fear that she’ll say no,” he realized.

Carlton stared at his hands. “What if I can’t give her everything?”

“Well, what does the word ‘everything’ mean to her?”

-

You tightened your hold on the pillow and looked up at John who was watching you carefully. “What if I’m not enough for him?” you asked softly.

John’s eyebrows turned up at the hint of sadness in your tone. “If you’re not enough for him, then nothing else will ever be,” he said firmly, resting a comforting hand on your knee. “Then, if that’s the case, he is not good enough for you.”

“It’s just that…,” you took a moment to gather your thoughts again, tracing patterns on the pillow, “he never really talks much about being fully content with anything.”

-

Carlton shrugged. “She always seemed to be okay with a lot of things. It’s not to say she doesn’t voice her opinions, it’s just… no matter what gift I give her, no matter where I take her, she always seemed so… happy. What if one day she’s not? What am I to do then?”

-

John suddenly stands up. “It’s getting late and you had a long day. We should get some rest,” he suggested, helping you up. “And I think you know what you should talk about with Carlton.”

You nodded. “Yeah. Thank you for listening, by the way. I don’t think you invited us here to talk about our relationship problems,” you said sheepishly.

“It’s no problem, (Y/n).”

John headed back to the main house while you trudged up the stairs to the bedroom, changing into your pajamas before climbing into bed.

-

Hermann stood up, grabbing the now empty mugs and headed towards the kitchen sink. He spotted his fiancé making his back through the walkway and said, “It’s getting late. You should head back and rest.”

Carlton silently agreed, hoisting himself up slowly. “Thanks for listening, Herm.”

“And you know what you need to talk about to (Y/n)?”

Carlton nodded.

“Good.”

Carlton passed John on his way back, muttering a goodnight to each other before heading towards their respective partners. When he turned to close the door to the extension, he spotted John enveloping Hermann into a warm hug, kissing the top of his head while they spoke softly. Carlton looked away and made his way to the bedroom where he spotted you curled up under the sheets. He climbed in slowly as to not disturb you and wrapped an arm around your form. You hummed, grabbing his hand and fell back asleep.

You had a whole vacation to talk things through and he wasn’t going to miss up the opportunity.

[tentimesbetter]

[1/3] Hhhh they got their second win today I’m happy for them;;;; And about joong’s cherry hair - doesn’t it look more like a really red peach? Or is it just me xD The basic idea for the atz fic is that the MC finds an old necklace that’s like a vessel for demon!Yeosang... I’ve been carrying that idea around for months but never really get round to developing it xD But if I ever do I’ll let you know^^ though it might become a very personal story....

[2/3] I write mostly for Pentagon, though currently I’m planning an SF9 fic.... I also did a series of connected B.A.P oneshots in the past and started a Block B Bastarz and a Triple H fic that I... never finished jhdhdhdhhd (i get distracted too easily). I also have a blog where I’m mainly trying to post little blurbs (keyword trying because i keep struggling with writers block even with little things like that^^” - I’ll send you the link to that after the reveal if u want!)

[3/3] I hope tumblr doesn’t eat my asks again hshhshd I actually already had all kinds of hair colors (blonde, blue, green, black, several shades of pink...) but I’m just not sure about actual bright red.. maybe I’ll try it at some point! Let me think about the shipping mission a little while... I need to build up some suspense hehehe Other than that, how have you been? Anything exciting happen? :3 - secret atiny anon

They did!!! I’m so happy for them! They looked so shook but also so happy and aaahhh that makes me so happy I can’t tell! But also, apparently people have been like “tHeY bOuGhT tHoSe wInS” and like ma’am,,,, they 🅱️roke wys???? I had to look up red peaches because I haven’t see any irl and!!!! yes!!! it really does!! his hair is the same colour as the inside of the peach aaahhhh!! Very appropriate comparison we stan 💯 

Ooh :o demon!yeosang sounds hella lovely ngl! But if it’ll get too personal for comfort then don’t force yourself to write/post it, okay? And big oof, I actually don’t stan those any of those groups on a fic reading level? Like I’ve never read any fics on them at all. SF9 I’ve been wanting to stan for ages idk why I don’t get round to it riplol. I might do it just to read your fics on them huhuhu 👁️👅👁️ Getting distracted and struggling with writer’s block are both actual relatable moods. I probably have more abandoned WIPs than I have completed works or even in-progress WIPs riplol. I’d love a link to your blurb blog please thank you 🥺🥺

Ooh wow! Green! That’s actually big mermaid energy i- green hair honestly looks so lovely 🥺🥺🥺🥺 I might cry a little whenever I see it on anyone ngl. Maybe you could! If not a very bright red then like something darker??? I’m sure you’d look lovely either way but it’s more important for you to be comfortable <3 Also! What shade of blue? 

Take your time with the new mission aha. I’ve been thinking about who I’d ship you with too so I’ll hopefully know by the time you do xD I’ve been okay, there was some drama for the past two days but I think it’s mostly sorted now so that’s good. I’ve been studying or trying to study mostly but I keep getting distracted by playing Arcana: The Game. I’m thinking I might do a fic on route of the character I’m playing rn hehe and the guy who I was low-key interested in is losing interest which is cool cool cool cool cool cool but y’know,,, I did like talking to him too and I know he won’t talk to me once he’s completely lost interest but 🤷‍♀️it’s only a man what will I lose lol. What have you been up to? How’s summer going!

[cuddliestbear]

Biography

So, yeah, this is gonna be heavy, take a seat if you wanna read this, or don't.

I was born in massachusetts, february 1999, on my mother's 18th birthday. My dad was 17 at the time and had only a few months before tried denying I was even his. He was there for the birth, but my grandma cut the cord. A few months later, my dad and mom separated, they were never married. So, my mom raised me. I still saw my dad, had visits and stuff, and more often than not he wouldn't even pay attention when I did see him, otherwise he would forget to come pick me up and I'd be left crying.

My mom got married to a man she met when i was 3 1/2. Idk when they got married exactly, i was too young i guess. My brother was born in december two days from christmas and was brought home on christmas day. He is and forever will be my favorite present I ever received.

We had just moved back from an apartment my mom had rented in another neighborhood. On herbert street. During that time, I was often left alone with my stepdad and I kept to myself in my room most of the time. Some....not very good things happened between me and my stepdad, things i still haven't healed from or even told my mom about. I was scarred more than anything, not molested or raped or beaten.

We lived in the old house on middle street with my new baby brother for a few years until we moved to cottage street. There i started the fourth grade and got my first cat. Bobo. A sweet mainecoon that died a year after we got him because of disease riddled fleas he got infested with. I mourned and still mourn for him, because he didn't deserve it.

My grades started dropping when i was in the fifth grade because i finally woke up and realized that the kids around me were horrible. Picking on me and calling me terrible things, whore, slut, bitch, i even got called a tub of lard. All by two people who i considered friends. For some reason. I did hate them for years, but i learned to forget if not forgive.

I moved to my dads when i was eleven. Mom couldn't afford to have both me and my brother with her so she sent me to my dads while she moved to rhode island. My dad lived in the same city as we had so i didn't have to switch schools. 6th grade he had carted me away to dartmouth, 40 min away from my home town. And a year later he married the woman we had moved in with.

We lived in a house on collins corner that was green and had acres of land. We lived with the woman's sister, her husband and three kids as well as her own mother and father. I was overwhelmed. New place, new people, new rules.

Shortly after he was married to her she started pressuring me to call her a motherly name instead of just her first name. Mum, is what she wanted to be called, something I already called my own mother. My real mother. My mom found out, showed up to the house and yelled at her. Before she had left the room, the woman told me to just not call her anything.

Soon after, my mom wasn't allowed to just show up to take me with her home whenever she wanted. They set it up so that every other weekend i would go to her house on friday night, and leave sunday morning for church that we never attended. The other weekend, i would just get to stay the day on saturday. This went on for three years.

They brought up moving to florida and promised me i could join a marine biology program and become a marine veterinarian like i had always wanted. My mom went to court about it. They had shared custody, and this would decide to whom the official custody would go, the guardian ad litem came and asked me and my set of parents questions. The results were that unless i said that i definitely wanted to go to florida, i would stay here with my mom while they left with my new baby sister.

I for some reason chose to go. And that decision haunts me to this day. Did i make the right choice, is the place i am right now where i need to be? Where i should be? I'll never know.

We moved, with a stipulation that i see my mother twice a year for one week in spring break and two during the summer. And sometimes on christmas for a few days. We lived with the stepmonster's sister for two weeks while i started my sophomore year in a new and confusing place. They found a new home, and i switched schools.

I had had a 'boyfriend' once in sixth grade, but i had my first real boyfriend in 10th. He was part of the jrotc, navy division. We broke up after two weeks. I made a lot of friends there and i wish i could have stayed. But no, the next year i switched again. Because we had moved once more.

I now went to a prep academy where uniforms were required and people were closer than family because of the school size. I met the first person i ever truly loved romantically there, and she was female, well genderfluid, but she was female most of the time. She was beautiful, short golden hair, perfect teeth that were odd because she lacked any canines. A little pixie nose and freckles layed below cerulean eyes. I loved her, truly loved her. She was kind and caring and funny and smart. She liked the same weird nerdy stuff that I did, and wasn't afraid to show it. She was a bit shy and a lot bold. She also never felt the same way about me, to her i was just a friend. I cried about it. For a while i cried. But i got over it and accepted that it wasn't meant to be.

I met the love of my life after that though. So that softened the hurt. I wasn't expecting to or even trying to fall in love all over again but there I was.

Meanwhile back at home, things weren't nearly as picture perfect. My dad was never home, i was scorned for being different, insulted and talked down to all because i wasn't like the rest of them. I was an outsider. The woman who claimed to have motherly affection for me used my own real mothers name as an insult. That i would be just like her.

I left with my boyfriend to live at his house with him and his parents at eighteen because i couldn't take the toxic environment anymore. I could breathe again, like a weight had been pressing down on my chest for years, i could now taste the air. Life was fine until november of that same year.

My boyfriend was growing distant and everything was crumbling. New years day he broke up with me, but let me stay at his home and in his bed. We're still working things out to this day and things are getting better. But it still hurts that the one person who i would never have given up on gave up on me, even if for only a small time.

But. I am here, I am alive. I have somehow survived all of that, all twenty fucking years of that story, but it isn't over. Not yet. I still have so many pages to write, so many new characters to introduce and develope, others to scratch out, and more chapters. Climaxes, falling and rising actions.

Learn from this, write your own story, don't let someone write it for you. Not an oppressive or abusive relative or spouse, not your past, not even your friends. You have to write the next chapter, even if you are getting writer's block and want to give up on the book and snap it closed, remember all the people that will read that book, that will pick it up and mourn your unfinished story. Remember that no bad thing is forever, no good thing is either. They exist in a balanced, sometimes chaotic unity. You can't have good without some bad and bad couldn't exist without good.

Your story isn't finished, so don't let someone else write it for you, take that pen and write, write everything. Don't shut the book, don't give up on it yet, things get better just as easily as they get worse and you have to strive for that better, rather than dwell on the worse.

So, get writing that next chapter, I'm rooting for you.

-Frazz

[nothesc]

These are our friends (Balloon Squad + Yousana kids)

Hi!!

Well, as I say before, I have been on a writers block lately, I wasn’t really inspired until the lovely @stressedoutteenager told me a headcanon about The balloon squad taking care of kids and well our conversation ended on me writing this fic about the balloon boys and yousef and sana’s kids. So I want to thank her because like half of the ideas of this fic belong to her! 

I also got this prompt a few weeks ago and even though it’s not actually the same I hope you like it:  

Prompt. HELLO IDK IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF PROMPTS ALREADY BUT I WAS THINKING LIKE WHAT IF YOU WROTE ABOUT UNCLE ELIAS COMING OVER AND TAKING CARE OF YOUSANAS FOOTBALL TEAM?? like at this point they'd prob have like 4 kids or something and thats tiring enough and yousef is like we never get time to ourselves and sana's like well you're the one that wanted 12?? and they're like we can maybe ask elias to take care of them and they go on a date or whatever and elias takes care of the kids :)

Well I leave you now with the fic, I know there’s no much Yousana but I hope you like it!!!

----------------------------x-------------------------

That the Balloon boys love Sana with all their hearts is no secret. And that they love Yousef too isn’t either. But their love for Yousef and Sana doesn’t compare with their love for their children.

 -x-

Since Sana and Yousef got married, all of them had been constantly teasing them about when they were planning on having children. They knew Yousef was really looking forward to it while Sana wasn’t that keen on it, or at least that’s what she said. They didn’t expect them having children that soon after they got married though so when only 9 months after their wedding Yousef and Sana called them all asking to meet them at their house that idea didn’t even crossed their minds.

“Thank you for coming” Sana said as all the boys sat in front of her and Yousef.

“What is this about sis?” Elias asked

“What have you done Yousef?” Adam added

“I haven’t done anything” Yousef defended himself

“Well, you kind of have” Sana said blushing

“Sana!” Yousef chuckled completely embarrassed.

“I’m not understanding anything” Mutta said confused

“Guys, what’s going on?” Mikael asked

“Okay so…we called you here because we need to tell you something important and we thought that we should tell you all at once” Sana started

“We know this might be unexpected” Yousef continued

“Are you divorcing?” Mutta asked as disappointed as if his parents were telling them that they were going to have a divorce

“No! No, no, no. It’s the opposite actually” Yousef said

“The opposite would be getting married and you’re already married” Mikael said

“Are you going to renew your vows?” Adam asked

“What are you talking about Adam? How are they going to renew their vows, they haven’t even been married for a year” Elias said rolling his eyes

Yousef looked at Sana exasperated. Sana just shrugged as a way of saying “they’re your friends”. Yousef shook his head as the rest of the boys started a fight over how much time was logical to pass to renew the vows.

“Guys, guys…guys!” Sana said clapping her hands to catch their attention

“Wait a moment Sana” Elias said not even looking at her “Stop defending Adam, Mikael, you don’t know what you’re talking about”

“I’m not defending him but it makes sense what he’s saying”

“I’m not understanding anything” Mutta said again

“I’m pregnant!” Sana yelled

The whole room turned silent as the boys looked at Sana and Yousef taken aback by the news.

“What?” Elias asked

“I’m pregnant, you’re going to be an uncle Elias, you’re all going to be uncles”

“But pregnant as in having a baby pregnant?”

“No, pregnant as in having a fish, what do you think Mikael?” Sana said rolling her eyes

“You’re pregnant!!” Elias exclaimed standing up and hugging his sister

“I told you they wouldn’t wait a year!! You owe me 100kr!” Adam told Mutta as he extended his hand waiting to be paid

“Seriously Yousef? You couldn’t wait three more months?” Mutta said shaking his head

“You bet on how fast I’d get pregnant?” Sana asked “You do realize how creepy that is, right?”

“It’s not creepy, it’s the miracle of life” Mikael said smiling

“Yousef my man, you’re going to be a dad!” Elias said hugging his friend “And my sister is going to be a mom and I’m going to be an uncle and…and…”

“Elias are you crying?” Sana asked smiling as her brother tried to hide the tears

“No, I’m not” he said sniffing

“Yes you are! Come on Adam bring me the camera, this is going to make a sick video” Mikael exclaimed

Sana glared at Yousef who was laughing at the situation, “these are your friends” she wanted to say.

 ------------x---------------

 “Be careful, Sana”, “You don’t have to that on your own, Sana” “Sana, let me do that for you” “Just sit down and rest, Sana” “No Sana, you can’t eat that, it’s not good for the baby” “Let me take care of that, Sana” “Sana, where do you think you’re going?” “I’M PREGNANT I’M NOT SICK, STOP IT ALREADY”

Those sentences could pretty much sum up the nine months of Sana’s pregnancy. All the boys, and Yousef the first of all, wouldn’t let Sana do as much as breathing in case something happened to her or to the baby.

So when Sana went into labor while the boys were at her house she knew what was coming.

“Guys…” Sana said as calm as she possibly could “I think…I think I’m having the baby”

“WHAT?” Yousef yelled as he stood up from the chair and almost fainted while doing it

“But are you sure?” Elias asked

“Pretty sure” Sana said looking at the wet floor under her

“Wow Sana, you could’ve used the toilet for that” Mikael said

“Are you dumb? Her water just broke!” Adam said hitting Mikael’s head

“Okay, what do we do? What do we do?” Mutta asked starting to panic

“Well, I think that taking me to the hospital would be a good idea, don’t you think?” Sana said glaring at them

“Yes, yes, yes come on guys we have rehearsed this so many times, Elias keys, Mutta and Adam bag, Mikael camera and I…I…what did I have to take?” Yousef said anxiously

“Sana! You had to take Sana” Elias said

“Oh, oh, true, true. Come on babe, everything is going to be okay, don’t panic, just breathe, breathe”

“Yeah, you may want to take your own advice” Sana said shaking her head

 -x-

“They’ve been there for too long, what is taking so long?” Elias asked as he kept pacing around the room

“Relax, in every book I’ve read says that this can take several hours” Mutta said

“How many books have you read about pregnancy dude?” Adam asked

“About 12” Mutta said shrugging “14 if you count the audiobooks”

“Here we have dumb and dumber talking about pregnancy books” Mikael said as he focused the video camera on them, then he turned to Elias “And here we have the soon to be uncle having a stroke”

“Mikael keep that off my face or I swear I’m going to…”

“Relatives of Sana Bakkoush?” a nurse interrupted Elias

Elias walked over to her as Mikael, Mutta and Adam stood up and followed him.

“I’m her brother” Elias said

“And we’re the baby’s uncles” Mutta added pointing at the rest of the boys and himself

“So all of you are Sana’s brothers” the nurse said

“No just me, but they’re the uncles too”

“Yousef’s brothers then?”

“We’re his bros” Adam said nodding

“Okay…well everything went well and she’s a lovely girl”

“It’s a girl!!!” Mutta said doing his meme face

“We already knew it was a girl” Mikael said rolling his eyes

“I know but we’ve had it confirmed”

“I think it was pretty much confirmed when Sana showed us that ultrasound” Adam said

“Yeah but…”

“Guys!” Elias said clapping his hands and turning to the nurse “Can we see her?”

“Yes, you can but one by one, okay?” the nurse said as she left them in the waiting room

“Well, I’m going in while you decide the order” Elias said

“Uh, excuse me, why do you get to be the first one?” Adam asked

“Because I’m the real uncle, Sana is my sister and Yousef is my best friend”

“Wow, that was very rude. We’re supposed to love each other equally” Mutta said “Besides, kids like me better than you”

“That’s bullshit, I’m Sana’s brother and I’m going in first” Elias said

“We should draw lots” Adam said

“What are you talking about? She’s my sister!!” Elias almost yelled

“Wait, where’s Mikael?” Mutta said realizing that the boy was nowhere to be found

“That little piece of shit” Elias said as he walked to the room where Sana was. “Mikael! That’s cheating” he yelled from the other side of the door

The door of the room opened and Yousef came out of it. His eyes were red, he had clearly been crying.

“Guys, if you promise to be completely calm I’ll let you in all at once, but you have to be chill, okay?” Yousef said

“Yeah, yeah, let me in” Elias said as he walked past Yousef and entered the room followed by the rest of the boys

Mikael was in one side of the room holding the baby in his arms.

“Boys, let me introduce you to Leila, the most beautiful baby in this world” Mikael said as the boys approached them

“Oh my god she’s so tiny” Mutta said as he gently caressed one of her hands

“I can’t believe Yousef did this” Adam said “She’s so beautiful”

“She looks like her mother, that’s the only explanation” Yousef said as he stood next to Sana and gave her a kiss on her forehead “She’s going to be a warrior just like her”

“Elias? Are you okay?” Sana asked her brother who hadn’t said a word since he had entered the room.

“I just…I…” Elias said trying to hold back the tears but he completely failed at it “She is my niece, Sana”

“Yes, she is” Sana said smiling at her brother “Why don’t you hold her?”

“What if I hurt her?” he asked

“You won’t, I trust you”

Elias nodded and took the baby from Mikael’s arms slowly.

“Hi, Leila, I’m your uncle Elias. These are Mikael, Adam and Mutta, they’re going to love you so much but you better love me more, okay?”

“Yeah, we’ll see about that” Adam said “I’m way cooler than you are”

“But I’m the kindest” Mutta argued

“Guys, guys, who was the first one to hold her, huh?” Mikael said with a smug face

“She’s my blood, you can’t fight blood” Elias said

Sana chuckled as she shook her head and looked at Yousef, “these are your friends”

  -----------------x-------------------

“Happy birthday Leila!” Elias said as he hugged his niece “Oh my god how old are you already? 6? 7?”

“I’m only 3 uncle Elias!” Leila laughed

“Oh, only 3? Then I’ll have to give this big present to another child…”

“No, no, no! I’m 6”

“Leila, what have we talked about lying?” Sana told her daughter

“It’s a bad thing to do” Leila said

“Exactly, now give uncle Elias a kiss and go to the backyard to play with your friends, I’ll be out in a minute with the cake”

The little girl did as she was told and left after kissing her uncle

“How are you doing, sis?” Elias said pointing at Sana’s belly

“I’m holding up quite well actually, only three more weeks before Khaled is here with us” Sana said smiling

“Ah, I’m going to spoil that little kid”

“Like you’re already doing with Leila, you mean?”

“Exactly like that”

Sana rolled her eyes and led the way to the garden where everyone was.

 -x-

“Yo, Adam what was that?” Elias asked his friend as he approached him after the cake

“What was what?”

“We agreed on one present each and you gave Leila two” Elias said

“That was so not cool, Adam” Mutta said

“Are you trying to get her to like you better or what?” Mikael asked

“Okay first of all, I gave her two gifts because in the movie those two characters are always together so I bought the two dolls at once, and second of all I don’t need gifts to make her like me best, she already does” Adam said with a smug face

“Ha! You wish, I gave her a basketball jersey of her favorite team, did you see the look on her face? She loved it” Mutta said

“She’s only 3, what are you talking about? She loved my movies” Mikael argued

“I bought her a freaking slide, are you being serious now?” Elias asked shaking his head “Besides I’m her blood”

“Stop using that argument! Family is not only blood damn it!” Adam almost yelled at him

“Okay that’s enough we’re going to solve this as grown men” Mikael said “Leila! Sweetie, can you come here for a second?”

The little girl approached them almost jumping, she loved her uncles so much

“Hi, honey, we’re going to ask you a question and you don’t need to feel pressured at all okay?” Mikael said crouching to get to her height “So who do you love the most, uncle Elias, uncle Mutta, uncle Adam or me?”

“I love you all the same” Leila said shrugging

“But Leila honey, remember how I gave you not one but two presents today? That’s really cool right?” Adam said

“I always bring you ice-cream even when your mom says you can’t have it, you remember that right Leila?” Mutta added

“Remember how I was the first one that took you to the cinema to see that movie you liked so much?” Mikael said

“Leila, I’m your uncle, your real uncle, I took you to the theme park” Elias said “You have to like me more than them”

“I…I think I like uncle Isak the most” Leila said kind of uncomfortable

“What??!” Elias almost yelled

“Are you seriously asking my daughter who she likes most?” Yousef said as he approached the group with Sana by her side

“Leila go play with your friends and don’t listen to your dumb uncles” Sana told her daughter

She waited for her to be gone before she spoke again

“What is wrong with you guys? She’s only 3”

“Adam was trying to buy her with gifts” Elias said “I’m her real uncle”

“I was just being nice, what are you talking about?”

“Okay, stop!” Sana said before another fight would start “You four are going to start behaving like adults or I swear you’re not going to get anywhere near this baby”

She pointed at her stomach while glaring at them

“You wouldn’t dare” Mikael said

“Test me” she said taking a step forward

“Okay, okay, it’s chill, we’ll behave” Mutta said

Sana nodded and looked at Yousef shaking her head, “these are your friends”.

 ------------------x-----------------

“Are you sure of this?”

“Come on Sana, we haven’t been on a proper date since Hakim was born” Yousef said “And he’s almost a year old already”

“Yeah, I know but are we sure that they…” she pointed at the boys in her living room “Are the ones to take care of our three children?”

“They’re four men taking care of a 6 years old girl, a 3 years old boy and a one year old baby, I think they’ll manage just fine”

“Ah…okay” she said

Elias, Mikael, Adam and Mutta were playing in the living room with the kids. Leila was showing Mutta his drawings while Mikael and Adam played with Khaled on the floor and Elias kept Hakim on his lap.

“Okay guys, we’re going. If anything happens you call me right away, understood?”

“Relax Sana, everything is under control” Elias said

 -x-

Everything wasn’t under control. Let’s say that playing with kids for awhile wasn’t exactly the same as spending a whole evening with them. It wasn’t that the kids were bad kids, quite the opposite actually, the problem was that the boys wouldn’t agree on anything.

“No, Khaled you can’t have ice cream after dinner” Elias said

“But uncle Mutta gave Leila ice cream”

“Seriously Mutta?” Adam asked him rolling his eyes

“It’s our tradition” Mutta defended himself

“Uh, guys I think Hakim needs to be changed” Mikael said as he held him in his arms “Any volunteer?”

“Don’t you know how to do it?” Elias asked

“Do you?”

“Of course I do, who do you think you’re talking to?”

Five diapers later Hakim was finally changed.

“Okay buddy now I’m going to leave you in your crib to sleep” Elias said as he laid him down

“Elias you have to lay him on one side” Adam said

“What? No I’m pretty sure he should lie on his back” Mikael said

“Guys, let the expert talk, in the books I read it said…I don’t really remember what it said to be honest…” Mutta said confused

“Let’s just call Sana and ask her” Adam suggested

“No! No one is calling my sister, we are capable of doing this”

“Uncle Elias, Leila keeps painting on me” Khaled whined

“Leila, stop it”

“But I’m just being artistic, dad always says that art is important”

“What about you paint on a notebook instead of on your brother” Mutta said

“But I don’t want to paint on a notebook” Leila said pouting

“Seriously, how do Sana and Yousef do this every day?” Mikael asked

 -x-

“Everything is extremely quiet” Sana said as they entered the house a few hours later

“That’s a good sign right?” Yousef asked

“Or not”

They entered the living room and were surprised by the scene. On one couch Mutta laid with little Hakim on his arms. In the floor, Adam and Mikael were sat together with their backs against the couch and Khaled lying on their legs. And on the other couch Leila laid on Elias’ chest. They were all sleeping peacefully.

Sana smiled at the view and looked at Yousef, “these are our friends”

------------------------------------x-----------------------------

Sooo this is it!! I hope you’ve liked it!

Thank you so much for reading!!

[rexsilentium]

my url tho.

❚ : : — ♚ Send me a URL │ accepting

Do I Follow Them?: Why is this a question for you.Why Did I Follow Them?: I??? Honestly don’t remember??? *pulls old man’s glasses* ‘well you see way back when...’ lol jk but honestly itsacopycat what do you expect from me.  :DDo We Role Play?: oh hell yea. All the time BB.Do I Want To Role Play With Them: Of course ♥♥ All the time. All day every day. Just that I’m tired most of the time. XDAn AU Idea For Our Muses: Pulls out the good old book of AUs... Hmmmm.... oH I tink I got one. Course its a high school verse, but hey hey whats up alright? so anyway. She’s probably a new student right? I mean its not THAT new. but she comes like maybe at the start of sophomore year. She never went to his school as a freshman. But hey hey here she is. And maybe its like she’s a new kid on the block. But like... she kinda fits in. KINDA. Maybe there’s a rumour or two that spreads around that she’s kinda fake or something. IDK. But she’s actually genuinely struggling to keep friends. Mainly cause everybody has their cliques anyway, and who’s gonna let in the new kid. But then Here we are with nerdy ol’ Red. You see him sitting alone all the time during lunch. He’s either sticking his nose in some books or playing the piano or something. He’s in her classes, but you notice that he NEVER speaks out, and the teacher never calls on him. But he’s always paying attention. And with the kids that do talk to him, its like somewhat chill. He’s kind of a tutor, but its rather that he just shares his notes with other students. Anyway, maybe there’s something that goes around that like really puts her in a rut. And maybe one day she finds a small note for her at her desk. Who could it be from I wonder?? HMMM... well of course its from Red himself. but he doesn’t disclose that. But it is for her regardless because of the name on it. At first she probably doesn’t know. But whoever it is from, the note cheers her up. And then within those days, the notes keep appearing. At like the most random of places. They are somewhat hidden, but they are always at places she frequents. All of these notes are nothing THAT big to reveal who the writer is, but they tell little stories and talk about how beautiful she is and how she is worth so much to somebody and that no matter what she shouldn’t give up and yadda yaddda yadda.She decides to write back to the writer. Maybe they’ll reply back. And she puts it at a spot that the notes appear the most. And to her surprise, there is a note that is written back to her. So this goes on so quite some time. Meanwhile, She still struggles to keep up with friends, and she may or may not see the occasional Red just doing his own thing, but she probably notices that he writes a lot more than usually (compared to his normal reading or practising) And eventually maybe she figures out it is him, but she doesn’t say anything.  The two may catch each other’s eyes from time to time -- maybe he’ll flash a small and rare smile. But like.. it goes on for MONTHS.Cute, right? Doesn’t it make your heart gush? does it make you feel all warm and safe inside? Well, you better grab onto your heart REAL FAST cause this is where it takes a dark turn for the worse.ACCIDENTS HAPPEN YOU KNOW.One of them is in a bad car accident. The other is the one to find them and call for help. They are rushed to the hospital and taken under care, but they aren’t waking up. Oh shit a coma???? WELL DOESN’T THAT HURT OPPS MY BAD. Anyway, while the one who’s in a coma, the other comes to find out more about the accident -- seems like it wasn’t that much of an “accident”. foul play??? OH SHIT. But they find out that they could have prevented the accident somehow -- oh if only they stopped to talk to them for that one minute right? To make matters worse this only happens after the notes stop getting passed along.Now the muse that’s okay, is constantly going back to the hospital after school. A few things could happen.If Red is in the Coma: She probably talks to him a lot -- but he can hear her.. Though he cant do anything to respond back. If Copycat is in the Coma: He’s CONSTANTLY bringing flowers. He always sets up her room nice. There’s a PILE of written letters and shit on the table next to the bed. TADAH? Okay idk what else to write or say. sorry my bad.

A Song For Our Muses: IDK tbh any of her songs XDDo I Ship Our Muses?: Quietly whispers yes....What I Think About The Mun: fgsdk;hgdfjlh Gemi is the best gem-I-KNOW. lolololol see im so funny haha.... No but really. you are such a presh friend, and I care about you a lot. and I love you and you’re such a great person. I’m sorry im such a turd sometimes. But no really you make me feel better a lot and I really have to thank you for that. huggles you tightly. Gemi is such a gem. Anybody who hurts Gemi will feel the wrath of a dile because i love you so much.Overall Opinion: 10/10 would recommend to anybody. Also Copycat is gr8. yes. Much amazeBlog Rate: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 (x1000000)