#man he gives me a fucking heartache
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archivedjuice · 2 years ago
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anyway. father lantom telling kid matt (3.02) that he's angry and if he doesn't find a way to harness it it'll destroy him and matt being such an inherently good person that he went on to observe people in the church and decide that it's his destiny to harness that anger by helping people. helping people by being a lawyer wasn't enough to harness that anger and he decided that he needed to help people more/in another way hence being a vigilante. like imagine housing that much anger inside you and you manage to turn it into something relatively good and when it doesn't work you decide you just need to do more good
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moonlight-prose · 3 months ago
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RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT ME
➛ 02. LOST IN TIME AND SPACE
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a/n: logan angst with this fic is all i've been thinking about. mainly because he's the kind of man to swallow all of his feelings until it eventually kills him. so that's super fun to work with. and that scenario is basically this entire chapter. so please root for him, but also know he's not even close to dealing with his trauma. also the x-men timeline remains convoluted as fuck, so if the past of the logan who died doesn't make sense it is what it is. this is fanfic and we're all here to fuck him.
summary: the past is a thing he couldn't ignore. yet he still tried. and when the opportunity to spend a day with you utterly alone arises, he realizes that perhaps he doesn't want to forget about what brought him here.
word count: 6.6k+
pairing: logan howlett x f!reader
warnings: not explicit, angsty as fuck, some fluff, grieving a past he can never have back, logan goes through it, kissing, he's horny, me slightly abusing my literature degree, heartache, panic attacks.
PREVIOUS CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER | SERIES MASTERLIST
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Logan never liked when the city fell silent. He hated the city in general. It unnerved him; scratched angrily against his chest until he couldn't find the peace he strived for. The city at night was filled with small noises—bangs in the distance, shouts of drunks wasted in the streets, and people finally turning in for the night.
They reminded him of the wars, the echoey expanse of nothing. Where every sound set his teeth on edge.
The cheap leather fabric of the couch stuck to his skin as he turned. He shoved his body into a standing position—his hands curling into fists. His skin remained sticky with a thin layer of sweat which only served to incense him further. Given the apartment's shitty air system, he'd be struggling through this for most of the summer. A fact he tried his best to ignore in the hopes that the fall weather would reveal itself sooner.
With a groan, he stripped himself of the thin tank top that clung to his skin. It didn't help to ease the humidity that hung in the air. It barely helped to cool off his body. But he'd take what he could get when what he could get was so little.
Wade's snoring echoed through the thin walls as he stood there, his body begging for a bit of sleep. Even if his mind refused to shut off. Images of you played through his head on a loop. The past was shadowed in pain, memories dipped in a venom he once wished would kill him eventually. Yet seeing you yesterday—a version that remained untouched by the depravity of what already happened—launched him back into a time that never seemed to be very far behind.
"You weren't there! And they needed you."
Silver ebbed from his knuckles as he faced the window—eyes shut and chest heaving. There was no question the sweat came from the humidity in the air. The cold chill along his spine however stemmed from you.
"You're not the Wolverine Logan. You're just a disappointment."
He fought the snarl that worked its way up his throat. A heavy pounding began to form at the front of his head. A drum he couldn't escape.
"Live with that."
If he opened his eyes. If he refused to give the memories even an inch of space in his mind. He'd have caught you standing there rummaging in the kitchen. A mug of tea forgotten on the counter the second you caught a glimpse of him getting up from the couch. You tugged at your sleep shorts as you stumbled towards the window—eyes heavy with sleep that simply wouldn't come.
Most nights it was easy. Long days at work left you utterly exhausted. To a point where staying awake felt odd and incomplete.
Tonight felt like hell.
No matter how many times you tossed and turned, you couldn't get the thoughts to settle. And all of them seemed to filter their way back to the man who currently faced you—his eyes shut and fists adorned with silver claws that slowly slid their way to freedom. You nearly dropped your kettle when he tore off his shirt, revealing sweat slicked skin lit up by the streetlights outside.
If you were braver you'd ask him to come over, join you in a sleepless night. But he had yet to see you standing there and you weren't one to draw attention to yourself.
So you stood and watched as he fought with whatever must have woken him up so late in the night. You witnessed his battle and wished you could be the one helping him. Maybe then he'd finally fall asleep soundlessly. His mind clear—body free of phantom aches from injuries that still haunted him. He may heal incredibly fast, but the mind...that took far too long to piece itself back together.
Before you could turn away, back to your now cold mug of tea, his eyes opened. Fixating immediately on your form in the window.
Few people in his life were able to calm the thunderous storms he weathered in his own mind. Jean and Charles did what they could. They brought back what he once thought was lost forever. Even you attempted to ease him from what he lived through—what he endured.
But that seemed to be the one thing your variant self was unable to comprehend.
He didn't need someone to fix him. He wanted someone to see him. To understand that there was no cure for a person this broken, no easy way out when things got this bad. He stood before you as a man riddled with far too much—scars that you'd never be able to see—yet he could see no hesitation in your eyes.
Something pulled at his stomach at the sight of you in small shorts and a tank top. Your skin exposed to the city as you watched him carefully. You analyzed him in a way that didn't make him want to put up a facade. And he found he liked it when you looked at him like this; with a burning need to know more clear in your gaze.
Your eyes trailed up his stomach, lingering on the hair that dipped down into his sweats. He wanted you to be here. Or him to be there. The location didn't matter as long as he could reach out and touch you—feel the warmth of your skin beneath his palm.
Minutes passed before your gaze found his face and Logan felt an itch in his body at the notion that you were fascinated by him. That even in a different universe with completely different memories, you couldn't help but be drawn to the man he was.
The horror of destroying another version of you should have made him want to turn away from the window.
Then you smiled.
A slow sleepy grin that lit up your face. You probably didn't think anything of it—simply a small offer of kindness in your shared sleepless night. Logan however swallowed it down as if you'd given him the best tasting whiskey on this planet. His chest tightened, head dazed as you stood there looking with enough reverence to kill him.
If only he could see the way your insides melted at the sight of him smiling back. The thoughts of lust and like racing through your mind the longer you stood there.
Eventually the sun would come up, you'd be called to work, and this would become a brief passing memory you'd both hold onto down the road.
Until that moment though you remained in this spot. Fighting the drowsiness for a chance to watch him a bit longer. To trace your eyes along his body and soak in the expressions that played across his weary face.
You could feel the prick of sleep in your eyes, your body dizzy as it begged for you to finally give in and crawl back into bed. Yet how could you leave him there? How could you walk away?
He seemed to catch the way you bit back a yawn and chuckled. Pressing his hand to the warm window, he nodded at you. To anyone else on the street it might look nonsensical—comical even. To you his message was loud and clear: Go to bed and I'll be here in the morning. I promise.
Reluctance yanked at your heart when he nodded again, his hand falling back to his side. Yet no matter how hard you tried to keep yourself awake—if only to steal another second of his gaze on your body—you knew it was futile. Fighting sleep never went well in the morning when coffee was your only salvation. With another smile, you waved slightly—pressing your hand to the window briefly as if to respond to his silence with some of your own.
Sleep well. I'll find you in the morning. I promise.
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Logan woke up to the blaring horn of a taxi right outside. The shout of a man bounced off the buildings, cussing about traffic and for someone to get the fuck out of his way. He groaned, turning to his side in the hopes of catching another thirty minutes. But the city was alive and thrumming with its own heart beat.
To others the echo might have been familiar—peaceful.
To Logan it was like nails being dragged along a chalkboard.
"I fuckin' hate this city," he growled, getting to his feet and snatching his tank top from where he'd left it last night.
Surprisingly the apartment rang out with a sound he had yet to experience in this place. Silence. He peeked in the bedrooms briefly, expecting to find Wade still passed out. An empty room was all that greeted him—the fucking stuffed unicorn propped up perfectly on a surprisingly made bed. There was only one reason Wade tidied up his room.
Vanessa.
She was coming by here or Wade was going with her. Either way Logan didn't want to be around to hear what came next. He'd been privy to one too many nights of Wade reconciling his differences with Vanessa and all of them ended with Logan's head beneath a pillow. That or he snuck out to wander the city at night until he finally returned to a quiet apartment.
For a brief moment he wondered if he could find you at your place; his eyes settled on the view of your window across the one way street. The lights looked off, the living room empty. And he craved to know where in this city you disappeared to during the day. Where did you work?
Would you mind if he visited you there? If he took some time to hear your voice, see your smile.
He grabbed the shitty coffee bag that was tossed on the counter. No doubt due to Wade making some this morning. The machine was old, nearly broken, but it would make do for the time being. A neon yellow sticky note was stuck to the top—the scrawl of Wade's handwriting familiar.
Good morning peanut! Coffee is hot like you. Don't call me. Don't beep me. Because you don't need to reach me today. If you do, I'm at Ness's scoring for tens all across the board. I'm talking the head—
Logan groaned, crumpling the note and tossing it on the counter. Knowing information that Wade would probably tell him anyways wasn't how he wanted to start his afternoon. The cabinet creaked as he opened it, the plain blue mug he claimed as his sat in the front.
Another yellow sticky attached to it.
OF CHAMPIONS. I knew you wouldn't finish reading the note you gorgeous Canadian/Australian bastard.
P.S. Sweet angel's number. I was told to give it to you.
P.P.S. GET. SOME. (For the both of us.)
A crude drawing of Deadpool fucking the air was scribbled in the corner. The details were far too graphic for him to look at longer than a few seconds. Logan would have tossed the entire mug in the trash, but your number enticed him to stick it to the fridge as he made coffee strong enough to make the hair stand up on his arms. He glanced at it every few minutes, tracing the numbers as he considered what this meant.
Was this you telling him in simple terms that you wanted to get to know him? That his past and whatever he buried was something you wanted to learn.
His gaze burned a hole into the yellow paper as he drank his coffee, his mind racing at the possibility of speaking to you today. Some cash was stowed in the trunk Laura dragged from the previous Logan's home. Her claim was that he deserved to have it. Since he might have understood what it meant more than she did.
From what he could tell this universe's Logan was saving up for something—the wad of cash in the bottom of the trunk remained enough for him to get by until he found a stable place to set up a home. Somewhere near the mansion that still existed. He wasn't prepared to be a part of that life again just yet, but that remained the only spot that felt like home to him.
Even in a different universe.
Snatching the note off the fridge he grabbed his flannel, boots, and enough cash to last through the day. He had no location in mind. But knowing you wanted to spend time with him became the motivator he needed to actually leave the apartment.
The city was bursting with life—sounds filling the air as if it would replace the oxygen they consumed. He did what he could to ignore it. Slipping past people with ease, his eyes fixed on the small store that sat on the corner. He debated on ordering from the cafe across the street, wondering if you liked the place. If you came here for coffee and breakfast on days off.
He made a note to ask.
Thankfully the shop wasn't crowded with people—a shitty pop song blasted over the speakers. One he knew Wade would play to piss off your next door neighbors. Whether or not you actually liked Wade's music taste never crossed his mind. Or did you go along with it? Willing to do what it took to make them suffer.
"Just this," he grunted, tossing enough cash down to cover the bill and then some.
The burner phone was small in his palm as he yanked it out of the box and flipped it on. He didn't bother with getting an actual phone. What the fuck did he need that for? But this...he could do to make you entering his life a bit easier.
Every part of him screamed to push you away—make you hate him—but for the first time in his life, Logan didn't listen.
The shop door swung shut behind him as he dug out the sticky note, punching your number in carefully to not miss a single digit. Somehow in the midst of chaos, he was able to shut off the city noise when the phone began to ring. Half of him expected you not to answer. It was the middle of the day, you were at work, and this was probably more a hindrance than anything else.
Your voice filtering through the small speaker put his worries at ease within seconds.
"Hello?"
His heart jumped as he exhaled. "I hear you gave Wade directions this morning."
"Logan?" you asked, voice louder than before. The echo of someone shushing you came through, making him smile.
"Hey Honey."
A shaky breath left your lips. Logan felt his stomach clench at the realization you liked when he called you that.
"I didn't know you had a phone," you replied, much softer than before. "Wade told me you were too old for technology."
"Don't listen to anything that mouth tells you."
You laughed, breathy and cute, and he bit back a groan at the sound. "I'm glad he was wrong."
"He normally is."
"Where are you today?" Shuffling and a door shutting caught his attention as your voice rose in volume again.
A horn went off beside him, piercing his hearing. "Standin' on the street."
"Near our places?"
Oh he liked the sound of that. "Mhm." Another soft breath reached his ears; he felt his body go warm. "Where are you today honey?"
"Work." If he could see through the call, he'd catch you smiling. How your teeth dug into your bottom lip to stop the embarrassing giggle that nearly spilled free. "Do you...um...do you want to see it?"
The words slammed into his chest like a truck. The innuendo nearly enough to make him drop to one knee here in the middle of the street. And suddenly Wade's note came back to his mind. The crude drawing flaring to life as he pictured you saying those exact words in an entirely different situation. If he was a better man his jeans wouldn't have tightened. If he was a better man he'd have ignored it altogether.
Logan wished he was a better man. You longed for him not to be.
He cleared his throat, his grip tightening around the phone. "Where?"
"New York Public Library."
Vaguely the directions came back to him from decades past. He wondered if the building sat in the same spot on this universe as his own. In a rush of words, you gave him some instruction. He agreed to be there as soon as he could.
"See you soon Logan." The excitement wasn't hard to pick from your voice. That still didn't stop him from trying.
"Wait–"
"Yes?"
He turned. "Rosemary's? You like their coffee?"
Another laugh escaped you in a breath and Logan felt the walls around his heart chip. "Love."
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Twenty minutes later you were greeting him on the side of the building with a smile he felt down to his adamantium bones. A warm coffee was pressed into your hand, a sandwich tucked safely into a small paper bag in the other. For the entire afternoon he formulated things to say to you, stories to tell. Yet all that came now was an awkward smile and a greeting that made his chest burn uncomfortably.
You thought nothing of it. Even as you led him inside and asked him about his morning. The sight of him holding coffee and wearing a grin was enough for you to lose it a little. The breath knocking from your lungs, warmth spilling into your stomach.
"I didn't know what you wanted–"
Taking another sip, you grinned at the glimpse of red that dusted the tips of his ears. "I don't mind what you got."
A stain of soft pink remained on the cup; Logan's eyes attached to it within seconds. You could see the way his pupils dilated slightly—his throat bobbing at the sight of something so small and delicate. That didn't help the way your heart flipped whenever he was near. As if he'd taken control of all your emotions—all the baseline wants that you could normally ignore.
"What do you do here?" he rasped, focusing on the way you watched him. Though the glaze of sleep was gone from your eyes, the way you analyzed him still remained.
"Archives."
Unlocking another door, you led him down a flight of stairs. The elevator would have been the easier route, but he didn't possess a badge nor a library card. You were pretty sure he wouldn't have gotten one either way. So sneaking him in was the way to go until you could convince him otherwise. What you didn't know was that you could have asked anything of him—anything you wanted—and he'd agree without hesitation.
He followed close behind, unwilling to let you get a few feet away. As if he was drawn to you in ways that didn't seem possible.
"I work on making sure things are properly placed in the correct spot. Older books, newspapers from decades ago, stuff like that."
Humming, he watched as you opened the final door—letting him see the grand room that lay below filled with an infinite row of bookcases. Boxes that had yet to be gone through, files not placed properly, and piles of books that stacked on rows of tables. Each one contained a certain label of where they belonged.
"So a librarian?"
Laughing, you shut the door behind him with a soft click. "Kind of. I'm not working upstairs and handing out books like the actual librarians do. We hermits down in the basement prefer the term archivist."
"Hermits," he huffed. "You don't look like a hermit to me."
"Looks can be deceiving Logan."
That was a fact he knew too well. One that kept him up at night, replayed in his dreams without end. Oftentimes he wondered if he'd been the one to deceive. If his persona and reluctance to help gave others the impression that he was the man to turn to. The hero they needed. He never asked to be seen that way—never wanted it—yet when the time came...he couldn't run away from the truth.
The idea of telling you all this came to him last night as he watched you walk back to your room.
What stopped him was the image of the other you, grief stricken and horrified as he stumbled home from the bar.
"I have some questions for you." Your voice pulled him from his thoughts.
The small table in the back was free of books and you took a seat, pulling your sandwich from the paper. He took the chair across from you, his legs bumping into yours as he tried to cram them in the small space. The apology was quick to land on his tongue. Although your smile and the feel of your ankle curving around his leg killed it instantaneously.
"I'm hoping you have some answers."
He swallowed thickly, ignoring the way you shifted—your knee brushing his. "Now that depends."
"On?"
"Are they easy questions?" He grinned at the way you spoke around your mouthful of food—intrigue lighting up your eyes.
You slid half the sandwich towards him, not pretending to see the way he tried to refuse. He took a bite when your foot jammed in his calf. A pointed look crossing your face as if to say: eat because I know you haven't.
"What am I like?"
He nearly choked on the bread. "Do you mean..."
With a nod, you grabbed another bite, oblivious to the way his tongue swiped along his bottom lip. His eyes fixed on the way your teeth sunk into the meal and oil spread at the corner of your mouth. Tearing the sandwich in half would have been the better option. Biting where he mouth was seemed to be what you liked better.
His insides stirred deliciously, heat forming at the way your lashes fluttered at the taste.
"The other me," you mumbled, giving him the rest. "You said we were friends." When he didn't respond you kept going. "Wade alluded that we might have been...more than friends."
Fucking Wade Wilson.
Logan leaned back, his hand curling into fists in his lap as he once again fought the urge to take off. "He sure likes to run his goddamn mouth."
Anxiety sparked in your chest and you fell silent. Perhaps it wasn't the right time to bring it up. Or even something to bring up. Yet curiosity always ate you alive—the idea of not knowing the full truth. And when Wade briefly said Logan was still pining over a version of you that didn't exist on this Earth, you tried not to let it consume you.
You fought against your baser instincts in the hopes that one day he'd tell you himself.
Then he showed up. Offering you coffee and friendship and possibly more.
How could you ignore it then?
You knew he was watching you, could feel the burn of his eyes along the side of your face. Silence echoed loudly in the room as the old wooden bookshelves creaked and the chatter of people upstairs began to filter down below.
"I'm sorry," you uttered, doing what you could to move past whatever this was. "I shouldn't have asked. We can go look at some stuff if you want. I have newspapers from the seventies you might want to see–"
"I loved you."
You froze, head whipping around to meet his solemn gaze.
"On my Earth you were mine." With a sigh, he leaned forward. "And I fucked it all up. No I didn't just fuck it up. I ruined you."
"Logan..." you breathed. "I'm not them."
"I know." Sorrow flooded his hazel eyes—the grief playing across his face like a film you shouldn't be watching. And for the first time...you saw the man Wade spoke about. The broken version of a Logan that was found in a bar wallowing on his own world. "But I can't do that to you again. I won't."
This wasn't an omission of the truth. Nor a confession of his greatest sins. This was a promise lined with the guilt of his past. Memories of a time you'd never witness played out in his mind and he longed to show them to you.
To give you a piece of what he once had with a version of you that loathed his existence now.
But that isn't why he happened upon you on this Earth. History would remain exactly as it was. He couldn't change that. However, this—whatever he shared with you now—he could keep safe. The promise he made so long ago might finally be shown the respect he never thought to give it before.
"Come with me," you said softly, standing with a hand outstretched for him to take.
With a hesitant breath, he wrapped his calloused palm around yours and let you take the lead.
Past bookshelves and rows of boxes stacked nearly to the ceiling, you stopped at a shelf marked with words he'd seen a thousand times before. X-MEN. You tugged a box free and carried it to the table behind you—the top flipping open with ease as he caught sight of the pile of papers within. A list was taped to the side of what this might contain. Names he knew, people that might still exist on this Earth.
"This is all we know about the Logan in this universe." You pulled out a file, a picture of his variant clipped on top. He was rugged—aged.  "It's not much, but it shows a bit of his past."
"Why are you showing me this?"
"So you can see what others see."
You handed him a photo of the X-Men. Jean and Scott stood on either side of Charles. Logan was off to the side, a cigar in his mouth and a cocksure grin on his lips. He hated the man before he knew him. Always hearing how fucking wonderful he was; how great a hero he used to be.
He selfishly wanted to be everything this version of himself was.
He wanted to be the hero he could never amount to.
"What happened to 'em?"
You glanced at the image, pulling another file out. The name punched the breath from his lungs as you flipped it open. JEAN GREY: ALIAS - PHOENIX. An image of her smiling at a lecture was pulled free—her hair red and down to her waist.
"I don't know much, because well Charles Xavier never disclosed information about the X-Men lightly. But...something happened to her. From what we know...Logan was the one to kill her."
The file fell on the table, his heart twisting violently in his chest as the words flooded his mind. He killed her. He killed Jean. The woman he once loved before you came into his life. Something severed in his body, the breath in his lungs was suddenly hard to come by. But the touch of your hand on his kept him from completely falling into that dark pit he fought to climb out of.
"He–" Logan sucked in a breath and shut his eyes to the image of Jean. "He killed her?"
You nodded, silent while he processed the information. Showing this to him wasn't an act of malice—he knew that. You didn't want him to suffer. You simply wanted to prove that the Logan that once existed wasn't the greatest to have ever lived. He was simply a man suffering the plight of guilt the universe handed him.
He had his own cross to bear. His own nightmares to fight through.
In some ways...they weren't so different.
"You're not the worst Logan," you admitted, letting him lean into you. "And he wasn't the best Logan." Your hand pressed to his cheek, eyes soft and warm. "He was just a man who was offered a terrible hand in life."
Logan huffed, his forehead finding yours as he breathed in your scent. "So you're sayin' I'm just a man?"
"I'm saying that the James Howlett in this universe probably thought he was the worst Logan too."
The words shouldn't have struck him the way they did. Their truth, louder than anything in this building. But the blunt and hardened reality stared him in the fucking face, and he had no choice but to meet it's gaze. The Logan of this world wasn't perfect. He fucked up. He ruined things. Yet he found a way to fix them. Put the pieces back together in order to obtain something that resembled the image of his life.
As much as he fought to claim he wasn't anything like the Logan that once walked this Earth.
He was finding it hard to see where they differed.
"Show me somethin' happy honey," he replied gruffly, his hand finding your hip with ease. "Show me somethin' you like."
The smile you rewarded him with placed some breath back into his chest. "What like books?"
"If that's what you love."
"I don't think we have enough time."
His hold on your hip tightened. "'M here all day."
"Yeah?" Turning away from him, you dug through the box. Down to the very bottom. "They found these at what they think is his grave."
Silver flashed in his vision before you were pressing a pair of dog tags into his hand. The name WOLVERINE was etched into the metal—its cold touch practically burned the skin of his palm. For years he thought he'd never see these again. A piece of his past he couldn't bring with him.
"I thought you'd want to have them."
"They're his," he croaked.
"And you're the Wolverine. They're as much yours as they were his."
Fingers closed around them as the chains dangled from his hand, and Logan felt his heart place another bit back into the correct spot. He never believed he belonged with people. Never wanted to hurt them. Yet life continued to surprise him. The metal was familiar to his touch. Years of toying with them, of having their comfort on his chest, kept him sane at some points. It helped to remind him of who he was.
Without even realizing it...you gave that back to him.
He wanted to tell you how much this meant. How grateful he felt. But he was never good with words.
So he pressed his lips to your cheek and let them linger there as heat pulsed in your body. The race of your heart made him grin. Simply knowing you liked him hiked up his ego in ways he didn't need at a time like this. But like the Logan that came before...he was a sucker when it came to resisting the aspect of love.
"Show me around bub."
You slid your hand into his, your lips nearly brushing as you turned to catch his gaze. "Okay."
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"Why work there?"
The city at night exuded a different kind of energy that you frequently craved during the day. A fun lightness that normally hit when the clock struck six p.m. and people were finally out of work. You were allowed to leave earlier than expected due to a birthday gathering of coworkers going on downtown.
An invitation was offered. Until they saw Logan standing behind you and your plans for the night became clear.
"I love history." He offered to walk you home. You accepted on the single condition that he'd stay for dinner. "How humanity went from one thing to the next and so on."
He scoffed and wrapped an arm around your waist to keep you out of the way of someone barreling by. "You don't have to explain that part to me bub. You're lookin' at a man who lived it."
"Did you?" The look you gave him had the feelings of want he pushed down earlier rearing their head. "Actually live through it?"
"I was born in 1832."
With a gasp, you clutched his arm. "Were you really?" you exclaimed. "That means you saw so much of history. Things we might not have written down."
And suddenly within moments...there you were from his world. Bright and beautiful and in love with the past. At first he believed it was due to your abilities; now he understood that's just who you were deep down. Always in love with what you couldn't fully figure out—the past you could see if you managed to travel back far enough.
"You have to let me pick your brain for facts."
He tugged you closer, stopping off to the side of the busy street, until you were stuck in his hold with nowhere to look but up at him. "Picking my brain ain't gonna be fun honey."
Your eyes were wide, lips parted slightly. "I disagree."
"You forget. Different universe. The history I know might be different from the one you know."
No matter how hard you tried, you could never hide the disappointment that flooded your eyes. "I'm sure it's not that different."
"Hm." He pressed a thumb to the top of your cheekbone, struck by how soft your skin felt beneath his. "Why don't you tell me yours. And then maybe I'll tell you mine."
The double entendre was layered in the lust that clouded his vision—the need that burned in his stomach. Logan hoped you understood it. Could see how much he ached for you. How you affected him since he first caught a glimpse of you yesterday. And seeing your pupils dilate, your chest heaving slightly, made his swell with pride. Saliva filled his mouth at the thought of one day getting a taste of you, but the sound of a horn going off behind him shattered the moment.
You stepped back with a deep inhale, your hand still in his. Which only served to prove Logan's point.
He fucking hated the city.
"Dinner?" you breathed, voice raspy with that feeling you tried to fight against.
Logan managed to turn you inside out. Pulling exactly where he needed to expose your heart. That alone should have terrified you. Yet the thrill of knowing him, of seeing where this might lead, kept you enamored and wanting for more.
"Lead the way."
What plans you created and meal you planned to order were lost the second you ascended the stairs to your apartment and stood in front of your door. The silence of the building was deafening compared to the noise outside. So much so that every breath you took echoed loud against the shitty yellow stained walls. Logan could hear the thump of your heart as it rammed within your chest. Quickening the closer he stepped towards you.
You turned, your back to the door and eyes dazed—unfocused. "I can order something."
His nostrils flared as your familiar scent began to deepen, mix with the arousal that seeped through your body. "That could work."
"What do you like to eat?"
The smile he gave you could only be described as canine. Near feral. "Dangerous question honey."
"What do you–" Shock flashed in your eyes, heat spilling into your face as the words finally processed. "Oh."
Logan wasn't hungry in a way that might seem normal to you. He didn't want to taste you, he wanted to devour. To feel you in ways that would scare you shitless. He craved you potently—viscerally. And perhaps it would scare you off.
Although something told him it wouldn't.
Silence no longer felt all consuming and horrid when he took one more step, crowding you against your door. You should have kept the conversation going. Laughed it off with a flippant smile and an offer of real food. Though neither of you could give a shit about dinner. That fact became evident the second he cupped the back of your neck and slotted his lips against yours.
A moan of surprise tore from your throat and Logan let out a growl to match. He kissed you fervently. Lips pressed hard and hot against yours, tongue sliding along your teeth, and somehow it never felt like enough. He'd dreamed of this for years. For the taste of you again, the gentle grip of your hands that dug into his hair and pulled.
That alone sent a groan echoing down the hallway, his body colliding with yours as your back hit the door. Your teeth found his bottom lip while his hands slid down to your ass, gripping and tugging until you could feel the prominent bulge through the denim of his jeans.
"Logan," you gasped, your tongue meeting his with another sharp tug on hair.
He slammed a hand against the door beside your head, his hips rutting down as you met the movement with one of your own. You wanted to drag him inside. Needed to feel his bare skin on yours. But something pulled tight against your chest as he stuttered into the kiss. The unfamiliar sound of his claws sliding out and puncturing the wood of your door made you jump.
"Sorry," he muttered, sliding his lips down your throat—teeth nipping the vein. "Happens."
"You owe me a door." You sounded breathless.
He brought his lips back to yours with a fury you'd never experienced before. "I'll buy you a new one." Your hips dragged along his, nails digging into the hot skin on the back of his neck. "I’ll fuckin’ make you one," he snarled.
The thought of someone passing by, seeing you nearly held up against your door by a man who's claws were embedded in it, was laughable. Yet you couldn't stop wondering what would happen if you let this go further. If you allowed him to take you right here out in the open.
Logan could smell the way you dripped for him and it drove him fucking insane. His body begged him to keep going. To slam open the door and bury himself in you right there on your kitchen floor. The way you whined into his mouth, rubbing yourself along his crotch, told him you wanted the same.
And he might have done just that.
If they hadn't started.
They're dead because of you!
Memories flashed in his mind with a rage unlike the past few times. Your face, tear stained and rageful. The way you used your powers against him. Tried to kill him for what happened. It all came rushing back with a lungful of air that burned.
I hate you!
"Logan?" You pulled back slightly, hands cupping his face with enough care he could feel the sting of tears start to build. "Are you okay?"
It should've been you that died Logan. Not them.
He sucked in a breath, ripping himself away from and stumbling a few steps back. Fighting against the past wasn't new to him. He'd been broken by it before. But now he couldn't even enjoy the sight of you with swollen lips and ruffled clothes, because all he saw when he closed his eyes was the other you.
The one he broke.
"I'm fine." His voice was raspy as he choked out the words.
A need to help him rang through your body and Logan could see it. He knew how badly you wanted to come to him—to hold him. This simply wasn't your battle to fight. He refused to change that in any way.
Standing up straight, he pressed a kiss to your forehead. An apology for the actions he was about to take.
He only hoped you wouldn't hate him for it afterwards.
"We'll do dinner another night, honey."
"Logan–"
"Goodnight." Walking away from you felt as if he'd ripped a hole in his chest with an adamantium bullet. One that wouldn't heal like before.
The dog tags were now wrapped around his neck, choking him like a collar he couldn't free himself from. A reminder that even the Logan of this world was unable to stop himself from destroying the one he loved. That was the plight they carried.
Their greatest grief. The one thing they had in common.
This...he could accept.
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lurochar · 3 months ago
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Human Alastor x ex wife reader
Where Alastor gets divorced after the reader finds out about his murders, but still can't stop coming back to him
I Still Love You
I hope you're a little satisfied with this, Anon I find it hard to write endings that aren't soft
18+ MDNI
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“I missed you.”
You stare down at the messy sheets beneath you with glazed eyes, having heard what Alastor had murmured into your ear.
You don't know what to say back (you do, you're just scared to say it out loud), but Alastor doesn't give you any more time to think about what to do next.
“H-hah! Please!”
You don't know what you're pleading for when Alastor handles you until you are on your back and he throws your legs over his broad shoulders and you can feel the burn in your muscles from the sudden stretch.
“Tell me, Darling,” Alastor strokes your cheek and you feel your eyes tear for two different reasons. He rubs his cock through your soaked folds, bumping your clit with every upward motion and you let out a mewl before you could help it, “are you happy now? Have you moved on from me?”
Why are you here?
Why did you come back?
It’s a very good question and any sane person would be asking you that if they knew the horrors that had, and likely still are, taking place in this very house and on the surrounding property.
Alastor didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he seemed satisfied and pleased that you are back in the house you very recently used to call home (and still very much should, in his opinion) and he did not bother to conceal it.
“Happy?” You let the tears fall, from a complex blend of pleasure, heartache, longing, and love. “I was happy with you–!?”
Alastor thrusts his cock in smoothly, sighing in content at how warm you feel around him. He missed this, missed the feel of you and your body pressed against his, missed your adorable words of love, missed every little bit of this.
He had never intended for you to find out.
“H-happy with you.” You dug your nails into Alastor’s back, intending on finishing what you were saying. You threw your head back and your toes curled when Alastor slid his arm down to rub tight little circles on your clit. “B-but I… I was scared! I couldn't… liVE in a house w-where people– people were murDERED!”
You just wanted to sink into the bed and under the covers with how pitchy and breathy your tone was. Clearly, you shouldn't attempt full sentences when on the verge of an orgasm.
Alastor places his forehead against yours so you have nowhere else to look but his face. “I would never harm you, dearest. I would never hurt you.” His thrusts quicken as he searches for that spot that drives you wild. “I even granted you that… divorce.” He spat the word out like poison. “I hoped that once your head cooled, that perhaps…”
You whimpered when he flicked your clit, leaning down to nibble at your throat. “I…” You tangled your hand through Alastor’s hair, tugging lightly at the strands and causing the man to groan. “I still do…” Your voice was hoarse and your eyes rolled back when Alastor found your sweet spot and repeatedly slammed into it without mercy.
“Fuck.” Alastor could feel you fluttering around his cock and felt a bolt of heat rush through him at the sight of your debauched expression. “You still what, Darling? Tell me.”
You cried out when Alastor lifted you up by the nape of your neck, cutting off the wail of your orgasm as he frantically pressed his lips against yours, groaning at the tight clenching of your slick cunt around his cock.
“A-ah.” You let out a noise when you felt a rush of warmth and Alastor hit his own end as he let out a sigh. You swallow anxiously, but know you won't have the nerves to do this again. “I still love you, Alastor.”
Alastor’s expression softened, though he let out a chuckle. “I hoped that this was about when you showed up here. I don't believe you had any housing or money issues.”
You stared at him, suddenly feeling a little suspicious. “What do you know?”
Alastor simply raised a brow in response. “Do you believe Mimzy let you room with her out of the goodness of her heart? I know she was giving you time to ‘heal’ before putting you to work in her speakeasy, but I did slip her a few bills weekly so she wouldn't change her mind.”
You gaped at Alastor, feeling a bit stupid this went right under your nose without you noticing. Then again, entire murders had been happening and you had no idea.
“Why did you let me go?” You asked, looking away. “I knew. I knew about it. I could have gone to the police at any time and told them about you.”
Alastor looked almost thoughtful. “Did you do as I asked that night before you ran? Try to find past news articles about the ‘victims’ of the so-called Bayou Butcher?” He then shook his head. “I would never harm you.” He then repeated. “Mimzy would have informed me if you were going to the police. I would have disappeared before they could do anything.”
You nodded slowly after a moment. “They… they were all awful men. Abusers, rapists, even a few murderers.” You stared at Alastor. “Are you… specifically targeting these men?”
“Yes. You may not like to hear this, but I enjoy it. I enjoy inflicting the fear on them they have inflicted on the women in their lives. It is who I am. I love you, Darling, but this part of me will not change.”
You pick at the blanket beneath you. “And you're… certain these men are doing these awful things?”
Alastor looks at you with a cautious hope. “Yes. I make quite sure of it.” He tilts his head. “Are you…?”
“Thinking about giving us a second chance if you will have me?” You attempt to bury your face in your hands, but Alastor gently grabs your wrists before you can. You flush when he kisses each wrist and at his proceeding smile.
“It’s what I was waiting for, Darling."
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shinysobi · 6 months ago
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"it was awkward to see colin flirt and behave like a rake" "he gave me the ick" yes ! that is the fucking point!! congratulations! you have the media literacy skills of a fucking monkey because my 4-year old niece could understand it better than you do.
we are supposed to find colin cringey and annoying and get the ick because that is not who he is. he is not anthony, or simon, or even benedict. colin (apart from gregory) is the sweetest of all bridgerton brothers (i'm going by book canon) and his most identifiable character trait is the fact that he values an emotional connection above everything. he runs away to the continent because he wants to feel that emotional connection. he has meaningless sex in brothels because that is the example he has seen growing up, that is the norm. he tries so hard to fit into the norm. he goes out drinking, adopts an entirely new personality, learns flirtations because that is how he thinks he will fit in. he's got armour on, as violet said. he puts everyone's needs above his own, he stops rambling on and boring his family with details of his trip because he knows no one cares. he doesn't talk to anthony or benedict about his heartaches because he knows they still, somewhere in their heart of hearts, view him as the annoying younger brother. he's so devastated by his closest friend not responding to him that he adopts a new personality in the hopes that it might mask the hurt better. he runs after penelope in episode one because he is so attuned to her emotions that he knows she's hurting, and tries to comfort her even when she's spiraling and lashes out. he must have been hurt by her words in the "good night mr bridgerton" scene but he puts it aside to genuinely apologise to her when literally no one else in that family would do that. colin, instead of brooding over his own feelings, goes and corners penelope in her family's garden and apologises to her, disregarding his own hurt at being cruelly dismissed by his close friend.
penelope asking colin to kiss her is not a mark of how "pathetic" she is. she has written and shamed herself in a manner that is almost entirely unsalvageable. she is at her lowest point, and then portia comes in and reminds her of how undesirable she is, and she sinks even lower. she asks colin to kiss her because she sees it as a final act, after which she can quietly wave goodbye to her dreams of ever getting married and leaving her mother's home. colin kisses her because he is also keenly aware of how she's feeling. he knows how hurt she is, he wants to do anything to alleviate that. be it cracking a joke, or kissing her. he is gentle, because he wants it to be something she can dream of when she's by herself. penelope, at this moment, has no hope for herself, and their kiss is an act of letting go for her. no, it's not a pity kiss, no he did not like her after her glow up, he has always loved her. him being struck dumb is a reaction to her physical transformation, nothing more. he does not flirt with her in that ballroom scene, he only approaches her when she's in distress. he's not flirting with her. i can assure you penelope could wear the frumpiest most neon yellow gown of all time and colin would still go "<333 my pen" for her.
colin jumps to catch the balloon's ropes because he sees that penelope is in danger, he does not give a shit about anyone else lmao. he feels temporary relief when he sees eloise run to safety, but the moment he sees penelope in immediate danger, he rushes to take action. afterwards, when he sees that she's being comforted by debling (all my homies hate debling, even if he is aro/ace coded i do NOT claim him) he does not approach her. it would be easy for him to do so, but he does not, because he respects her boundaries. colin bridgerton is the only man in the ton who respects women (the featherington sons-in-laws are too pretty to have a thought) he calls out fife and his friends for treating women like objects and calls them cavalier. the only way he would have been more explicit about his demisexuality was if he tap danced on the club table (entertaining thought, luke newton please)
colin also rapidly takes action, something which no one in the show has done so far. simon would have died instead of accepting his feelings for daphne, daphne would have been content with a loveless marriage forever instead of asking for help. kate would have pushed edwina down the aisle and gone off to india instead of confronting her own feelings, and anthony would have married edwina if she hadn't been brave enough for the three of them to run from the altar and ruin herself. penelope stood on the sidelines for years and loved him quietly because she had no hope of him loving her back. colin, the moment he is assured of his feelings, runs to penelope, almost kisses her in the middle of a ballroom. when he hears that debling is about to propose, he goes to the ball, just to dissuade penelope one more time. he cuts into their dance because he's desperate. when he runs after her carriage, he asks her if she has been proposed to, because he would not have touched her otherwise. he confesses his feelings to her only when he knows that she hasn't gotten engaged to debling, and when she says "but we are friends" he moves away. nothing more. he would have let her go, if she did not return his feelings.
idk whether i should be flattered or offended at people misunderstanding this season because on one hand it is offensive, but on the other hand, it means only smart people get polin. seriously. your minds have been rotted by insta-love and enemies to lovers that you can't even appreciate the innate beauty of friends to lovers. being friends with someone and then holding all those feelings for them. the trepidation of possible rejection. the fulfillment of being loved by the person who knows you the best of them all. the privilege of loving someone whose feelings you know better than your own. love is gentle and kind and yes it is a violent, uprooting force but above all, love does not hurt anyone. it does not hurt you. i could love someone quietly for years and it wouldn't bother me if their feelings were requited or not because my feelings are none of their business and i consider it a privilege to love and be loved by them, even if it is not in the way i would want it to be. polin are privileged in the highest sense. they know each other better than anyone else, they know how to love each other better than anyone else. to think they are rushed or they dont deserve each other is a disservice to both of them. they would be miserable with anyone else.
in other matters, if i see one more person talking smack about luke or nicola behind the safety of their screens i will personally get a bazooka.
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shaevilux · 1 year ago
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People knock on Rhoam for being a bad dad cuz he's distant and stern to little Zelda and say how Rauru is the goat (heh) for taking her in like his own daughter. Like Zelda had her real parental connection with Sonia and Rauru. But frankly that's a little reductive.
Rauru literally descended from the heavens, married a priest, started a kingdom. Man didn't really know much strife yet. There's no looming threat of calamity or prophecy yet. Things are peaceful. Things are fine. Things are great. Zelda dropped in during this time, talking about a doom that's going to happen tens of thousands of years in the future.
This sad, lost princess.
Of course any reasonable person would take her in and calm her and tell her she is fine and listen and support her.
Rhoam not being able to be this kind of figure for Zelda is tragic. Just read this poor man's journal entries:
"It has been a year and three months since her mother passed. Perhaps she is held back by heartache too deep to heal. If the Ganon prophecy wasn't looming over our heads, I would tell her to take her time... To wait until she is ready. But our situation is dire and leaves no room for weakness—even on behalf of my beloved daughter. My heart breaks for Zelda, but I must act as a king, not a father. I must order her to train relentlessly at the fountain." Pg 4.
"In truth, I understand Zelda's feelings. Painfully so. She lost her mother, her teacher, before she could learn from her. Ten pointless years of self-training, without so much as a book or note to help her find her way... Those in the castle talk behind her back. And I, her only family, scold her for her shortcomings. No wonder she wishes to hide away in her beloved relic research. I'd love nothing more than to console her... But I must stay strong. She MUST fulfill her duty, just as we all must. Even if she comes to despise me." Pg 6.
"I have been told my Zelda went to the Spring of Wisdom... This will likely be her last chance. If she is unable to awaken her power at Lanayru, all hope is truly lost. If she comes back without success, then I shall speak kindly with her. Scolding is pointless now. I forced 10 years of training on her... and after all that, it seems her power will stubbornly awaken some other way. Perhaps I should encourage her to keep researching her beloved relics. They may just lead her to answers I can't provide. For now, I sit anxiously, more a father than a king in this moment. I sit and await my daughter's return." Pg 7. (He fucking dies and never gives Zelda this bit of closure uuuugggghhhhhhh Zelda I'm so sorry Rhoam I'm so sorry)
It sucks because most people remember the cutscenes (duh it's more immersive and important) and in the cutscenes of the first game Rhoam was mostly shown as being stern and mean to babygirl Zelda, who is closed fists explaining herself to him at the verge of tears. And in contrast everyone in the first royal family of hyrule in the second game treated her with such kindness and we can see how happy she was being there with them.
Rhoam was shackled by duty. By prophecy. By the looming calamity. And from the day he named his daughter 'Zelda' he shackled her as well.
And what does Zelda do with these shackles? She accepts them. She tolerates them. Because she loves her father and her kingdom and knows there's a power dormant in her that can stop the calamity that she must do her best to unlock. She does this dutifully. She does all the training, she does everything that is required.
But it still doesn't unlock. So she tries other ways. She isn't just going after the 'relics' because she's scholarly and nerdy and wants to learn about them. She does it because she's pragmatic. She knows her sacred sealing power isn't present in her. She knows she might not be able to control it or even unlock it in time.
So she tries this alternative approach. The Divine Beasts, the guardians. Ancient tech that was used to prevent the calamity of their time. And she awakened the tech. And her father chose the champions for each divine beast. And they were all prepared. And it's all thanks to Zelda.
And then... Fucking tragedy again. Ganon probably learned his lesson from the last time he was thwarted and immediately went for the tech, corrupting it and turning it against the new users. Against Zelda.
It's never really stated how fast it all turned to shit when the tech betrayed them (or maybe I don't remember) but every account points to it being almost overnight. The champions died. Rhoam died. And suddenly, suddenly Zelda unlocks her sealing magic.
I always always hate the literary trope of using tragedy to unlock a great power that could've actually stopped the tragedy from happening in the first place.
And it's no different in BOTW. I hate that Zelda had to go through all this to unlock her powers.
And then what happens next?
She's stuck in limbo (in an almost mocking parallel to Rauru in the next game with his imprisoning arm) holding Ganon back. For a hundred years.
This young woman had gone through so much only to be trapped with a calamity seeking to destroy Hyrule for a century.
Does she know her father died in the war? Does she know the champions died in battle? Would she know Link would survive in the Shrine of Resurrection? Would she know how long it would all take? The century she would have to wait?
I think she didn't. I think it all happened too fast. I think ultimately, she decided a stalemate with ganon was an agreeable outcome. I think in her mind she probably thought she failed Hyrule. When the divine beasts turned she must have been distraught. Distraught might not even cover it tbh. But at least... At least when the kingdom was brought to it's knees by the corrupted tech and was waiting for the final blow, she had the ability to ensure the final blow never came.
And oh boy I have a looot more to talk about regarding Tears of the Kingdom. But I do want to have a couple of more playthroughs of it to really formulate what I want to say.
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adragonprinceswhore · 2 months ago
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Rumours
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Aemond Targaryen x (Ex)Wife
Chapter VI: Storms 🎼 Masterlist
Summary: Aemond’s wife left him following an explosive fight last week, and he hasn’t been able to find rest since.
Warnings: 18+, AFAB reader, she/her pronouns, depictions of a toxic relationship, possessive Aemond, shitty and useless coping mechanisms, reference to violence and injuries
Word count: 2300
A/N: Thank you always sweet sweet Justine (@theoneeyedprince) for looking this over and giving me ideas 🤭 ILY! The lyrics are interwoven with the story in this chapter, hope it makes sense! As you can tell, this is set a week after his wife left him, and before he wrote his new songs for Rumours…
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‘Every night that goes between, I feel a little less’
8 hours and 25 minutes.
That’s how much sleep he’d gotten in the last week.
Since the fight.
Fights. Plural.
It wasn’t the first time he’d gotten into a physical altercation with his brother. His childhood memories are tainted by endless disputes, especially after their father died, back when Aegon would sneak out to get drunk while their mother worried sick at home.
Why was his brother seemingly incapable of behaving well? Aemond saw how his mother worried herself sick over her oldest son, while also having to deal with grieving the loss of her husband, and navigate the internal political turmoil the death of such an influential man left behind. And Aegon couldn’t even spare her further heartache.
Fucking pathetic excuse of a man.
It was, however, the first time he had hurt his wife. Physically, that is. She’d told him he’d hurt her before, when his jealousy got the best of him.
He knows he’s crossed a line. As soon as he lost his temper and threw that plate against the wall. Dangerously close to where she was standing.
He regrets it all. Why did it even have to happen in the first place? If she had just cooperated with him; worked with him instead of against him. Instead of hiding things from him, talking with Tyland behind his back.
He always knew that she’d leave. One day.
He’d never leave her.
Frustrated, Aemond lets out a quiet sigh and gets up from the bed, moving to sit on the edge, slouching as he places his head in his hands. He suddenly notices how quiet the room is; the loud thoughts echoing in his mind momentarily disappear as he ponders what he could do instead of sleeping.
He moves quietly to not wake Alys next to him, whose heavy breathing provides the only real sounds in the room. It is almost eerily quiet now that he thinks about it; such a stark contrast to the insufferable buzzing of thoughts roaming around in his head.
Rest doesn’t come to him anymore. 
His mind can’t provide him with any repose. Not even for a second.
He closes the door to the bedroom with a quiet ‘click’ and exits, moving towards the balcony connected to the large, open-plan living room.
She had picked this apartment, together with him.
Our home.
The memories of going to look at cabinets for the kitchen together, choosing a sofa together, fucking on said sofa, overtake his mind before he can distract himself.
‘As you slowly go away from me’
When he realised that she’d left and wouldn’t come back, he tried to erase her from the space, shoving all of her belongings into one of the wardrobes in the spare bedroom.
He couldn’t bear to throw them out. He couldn’t bear to see them either. She’d left behind everything he’d ever given her; all gifts he’d carefully picked out for her. Seeing her wedding ring on top of the kitchen island, next to the divorce papers and the shattered plate on the floor had made his stomach turn when he came home from the hospital.
‘This is only another test’
He’d suffered much harsher trials than this.
When he lost his eye in a car crash at only 10 years old, he suffered through the most excruciating pain of his life. He had to relearn everything; how to focus his gaze, how to read and write without developing a headache, how to play his favourite sports without running into his opponents. 
He’d managed all that, yet this time he felt consumed by an aching sense of dread.
A hopelessness deep in his chest.
‘Every night you do not come’
It was all too late. No turning back.
‘Your softness fades away’
He knows that the aching dread is the longing he feels for her. The thought of never touching her again, never being close to her again. 
Never being in her embrace again.
He feels a chill run through his body as he settles on the armchair placed by the wall, overlooking the bright lights of King’s Landing.
Reaching for the pack of cigarettes on the nearby table, he takes one out and lights it before taking a long drag, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back to rest against the back of the chair.
She’d chosen the patio furniture as well.
He fucking resents himself in this moment. Why is his body, his mind, incapable of doing what he wants? Forget her. She sure as hell wants to forget him.
‘Did I ever really care that much’
‘Is there anything left to say’
When she left during the fight backstage last week, he had wanted to run after her. But then he threw one quick glance at his older brother, and could barely see his expression due to all the blood smeared over his face.
He called out to him, but Aegon didn’t answer, laying limply on the old leather sofa with one arm hanging from the side and his mouth open. That was when Jace had come back in, face turning white in an instance as he was confronted with the scene before him, pulling out his phone from his pocket with a shaky hand to call an ambulance.
Aemond went with his brother to hospital, waiting by his side until he regained consciousness while trying to calm his distressed mother and wide-eyed sister. They had looked at him in the same way she had; eyes filled with animosity. He could barely meet their gazes as shame left his cheeks scalding.
‘Every hour of fear I spend’
‘My body tries to cry’
All he could think of at that moment was coming home. Home to her. To her warmth.
‘Living through each empty night’
‘A deadly call inside’
He takes another drag of his cigarette. Not being able to sleep, to eat, to think clearly is so foreign to him. It’s like when he lost his eye; he has to relearn everything. How to fucking breath.
There’s this restlessness inside him that won’t disappear, no matter how hard he tries to exorcise it. He’d tried going for walks; his usual go-to when he needed to clear his mind.
On one of those walks he’d smoked an entire pack of cigarettes.
How much time had passed? How long had he been out? He could hardly remember where he’d gone, what he’d seen or what time of day it’d been.
He’s lucky to have grown up in the centre of King’s Landing, knowing every street by heart, intuition leading his steps as he eventually finds his way back home. To an empty flat, haunted only by the memory of her.
She haunts him worst internally though, through his own mind.
There, in the eye of his mind, he sees his greatest fear; her with another man.
Any time he closes his eyes, the same image greets him; her, naked in the arms of another, throwing her head back in bliss.
She sighs and moans, letting her new man know how good he’s making her feel. She tells him too; that he’s the best she’s ever had.
She runs her hand down his cheek, unmarred and smooth. No harshly red scar, no unpleasant raised skin. Someone pretty, like her.
‘I haven’t felt this way I feel’
‘Since many a years ago’
He tried drinking; Aegon’s lobotomy of choice.
After downing two bottles of the Dornish red he’d received from some business associate when he was still working with his grandfather, he found sleep for 1 hour and 12 minutes before waking up with a racing heart and body covered in a slick sheet of cold sweat.
He would have tried talking to someone, if the only person he wanted to speak to hadn’t blocked his number. He’d realised that after being connected directly to voicemail each time he called her. That didn’t stop him from leaving messages though. First, they were filled with apologies and promises of never losing his cool again, of being better for her, of reassurance that he loves her. But as he grew to understand that she wouldn’t come back, his frustrations got the best of him.
He called her just to scream at her, into the nothingness that was her disconnected voicemail.
“I always knew you’d leave me! You fucking liar”, he spat as he threw his phone against the same wall he’d smashed the plate against.
It doesn’t matter. She’ll never hear them anyway.
The tiny bit of relief he felt afterwards hadn’t made any significant difference. He still couldn’t sleep, couldn’t find even a moment of tranquillity.
He places the cigarette between his teeth as he reaches forward to grab the notebook on the patio table next to his seat.
There’s one thing he still hasn’t tried.
As he plucks the pencil from where it's hanging on the side of the hardcover, he begins writing without thinking too much of what’s coming out, letting his hand guide his thoughts as he brings his plagued mind down on the paper.
‘In those years and the lifetimes past’
‘I did not deal with you, I know’
‘Though the love has always been’
His most recent attempt at finding respite from his mind was sleeping in his bed.
Our bed, he corrects himself with a wince.
He’d met Alys Rivers, manager at Riverland Creative Agency, earlier that day when he stopped for a drink during his quotidian nightly walk. She recognised him instantly, swiftly approaching him to mask her true intentions with some saccharine small talk. He knew she wanted to inquire about his band’s management; if they were satisfied with Tyland or if they’d be persuaded into joining her instead.
But all he could focus on was her hand casually placed on his shoulder as she spoke, her large, green eyes locking with his as she playfully teased him about his stoicism.
The heat radiating from her palm alone lit a fire inside of him, but rather than lust, he felt something akin to longing.
Yearning.
For warmth.
He asked her if she’d like to have a drink at his house, and when she replied with a wink and a cheeky retort, he knew she’d give him what he craved.
‘So I search to find an answer there’
‘So I can truly win’
Alys didn’t feel like her. Didn’t set the fire within him ablaze. Nor did she extinguish it. He didn’t feel better; he felt the same.
Restless.
Uneasy.
Different.
Broken.
‘Every hour of fear I spend’
‘My body tries to cry’
‘Living through each empty night’
‘A deadly call inside’
His hand moves on its own accord, words pouring out from him without having a chance to pass through his consciousness.
‘So I try to say goodbye, my friend’
‘I’d like to leave you with something warm’
Maybe he never gave her comfort?
Maybe all he did was take?
No. He knows he’s been a dutiful husband. He’s always been by her side, supporting her no matter what.
Unlike his own father; a shitty husband who was more of a burden on his mother’s shoulders than a pillar to lean on. Aemond knows that he’s nothing like his father. He gave his marriage his all; he never neglected his wife. 
He gave her all of him.
‘But never have I been a blue calm sea’
‘I’ve always been a storm’
But she didn’t want his love. She didn’t appreciate all he’d done for her. She didn’t understand him, not really. If she did, she wouldn’t shut him out like this.
Fuck her selfishness.
When he left his grandfather's firm to pursue music full-time, Otto Hightower had threatened to disown him, telling him that he’d make sure all ties Aemond had to the Hightower name would be cut off.
All he knew was how to be a good son and grandson. How to please his grandfather and mother. But when he confided in her about his predicament, asking her for advice on how to handle his grandfather's wrath, she’d cupped his cheeks and gazed into his eyes as she reassured,
“I am your family now, Aemond. We’ll always have each other” 
Liar.
He feels bile rise in the back of his throat as he keeps writing, allowing the feelings he didn’t know how to express some outlet. The thought of her now makes him feel sick.
‘Always been a storm’
‘We were frail’
He feels stupid; blinded by the light of her love.
‘She said, “Every night he will break your heart”’
‘I should have known from the first, I’d be the broken hearted’
Being given such warmth from another person. That’s what made him addicted to her.
He’d never experienced that before, not even from his mother or sister. There was always this restraint; this rift between them, for as long as he could remember.
But she let him in with open arms; let him into her comfort without resistance.
And now she’d taken that away from him.
‘I loved you from the start’
Looking at the lyrics written down in front of him, he doesn’t feel better. His shoulders don’t feel lighter. His chest doesn’t feel less tight. All he knows is that she did this. She promised to be by his side forever and broke that vow.
He leans back in the chair, fiddling with his lighter in one hand as he reads over the text again. What would she say if she saw how much she hurt him?
Would she come back?
The fleeting thought makes a tight knot form in his throat and he swallows forcefully to make it go away.
She’ll never come back.
He picks up the paper, letting the fire from the lighter in his other hand grace over the bottom corner, and sets it alight.
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A/N: No, this is not a song form Rumours 🤭 but technically he doesn’t record it, so I think it’s fair! Tysm for reading 🩵
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monzamash · 6 months ago
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pit in my stomach - lando norris
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rating – mature (cheating, language, sexual references) requested by @landograndprix - hugging you tight, my friend!
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it was hard to pin point the moment his love for you had been diminished by his crippling guilt or when you knew there was nothing he could say or do to piece you back together. maybe it was around the time you’d asked him point blank whether he saw you in his future and he stuttered over his truth with an unconvincing of course i do when the dagger had already been deployed into your unsuspecting back. naively blinded by love.
or maybe it was the night lando stumbled home from the local, half a pint of slushing lager still in his hand while the other held a small, black velvet box. he dropped down on one knee, eyes bloodshot with tears and a trembling bottom lip – a stark contrast to your hardened stare and crossed arms shielding you from the blow, physically and emotionally spent.
“i fucked up… i-god i hate that i've hurt you, baby and i wish i could take it all back – i fucked up so bad and i’m so sorry.”
“you didn’t fuck up, lando – you fucked someone else for six months and lied to my face and made me feel like i was losing my mind! do you have any idea how much pain you’ve caused?”
the room fell silent, boiling blood pumping in your ears.
“huh?! do you?”
“no–”
“no you don’t! i've been stupid enough to keep chasing after you and all you’ve done is let me down and made me look like a fucking idiot! everyone knew about her, about what you were doing behind my back and you knew it was wrong but you couldn’t stop! you’re a monster and i’m not going to cry over a mistake you made…"
sadness welled as you stared down at the man kneeling at your feet. he was a stranger who only resembled the man you loved in appearance, not in honour or integrity or character – you were grieving the lando who had showed you the world with so much love and adoration and hope.
"you will have to live with this mistake for the rest of your life.”
“you’re right. i will never forgive myself 'cause she meant nothing and i have to fix this – i need to fix this because i love you.. so much. i’ll get help, i’ll see someone just give me a chance to fix it…”
“do you really think that is going to fix it?”
you pointed to the dainty box that held so much weight. in a way it represented a future founded on four years of memories, of something resembling happiness. sure, there had been disappointments, hundreds of missed calls, a few missed anniversaries and your gnawing intuition saying that maybe the paranoia wasn’t just inside your head. but ending like this, in betrayal and heartache – you hadn’t seen that one coming.
lando swallowed the lump forming in his throat, queasy from the drunken stupor he’d drank himself into and the dread settling in the pit of his empty stomach, “thought it might be start…”
a strained laugh slipped from pursed lips as venom coated your sharpened tongue, “and that is how i know you will never change.”
“please,” lando scrambled to his feet and reached out for your hand in an attempt to stop you from walking away, “please don’t leave me…” he begged, voice barely above a whisper.
lando knew he would never forget the look in your eyes when you slowly turned back to him – they were cold and punishing, bone-chilling. they swirled with the web of lies and sorrow that he had inflicted upon the person he loved the most in the world, who had given him everything she had, who loved him unconditionally, which made it nearly impossible to accept that he had lost you.
“you left me six months ago when you slept with her, lando.”
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more writing...
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buckevantommy · 14 days ago
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What about all of this is real? We are.
This is not how they end. 
It hasn’t even been a week but it feels like a fucking eternity. It’s not the first time Buck’s been dumped, not the first time someone has walked out on him when he wanted more, but it’s the worst heartache he’s ever felt and he knows– he knows it’s because this isn’t how things are supposed to go for them. 
He’s done feeling sorry for himself. He’s not giving up on Tommy, on what they have together. 
And he doesn’t think Tommy is done with them, either. 
The drive to Tommy’s house isn’t fast but it passes in a blur; between the peak hour traffic and usual gridlock he has plenty of time to ruminate on everything he wants to say, and all the arguments Tommy can throw at him and all the ways Buck can rebut them. 
Pulling into the drive, he doesn’t notice the unfamiliar car parked next to Tommy’s truck. He’s walking up the front path and knocking with insistent force before he even registers leaving the jeep. He’s on a mission. 
Soon as the door opens Buck is barging his way inside. “You don’t get to decide what’s best for me or how I feel!” 
With a resigned, if somewhat bitchy sigh, Tommy mutters, “Come on in,” and closes the door behind him. 
“I know how I feel about you and it isn’t some passing infatuation, Tommy– I love you!” He goes harder than he means to, and heavier on the blame, but he thinks he gets the main points across. 
Tommy stares at him for a moment, not saying anything. Buck starts getting restless again. If Tommy has nothing to say to that then Buck has plenty more. He gears up to lay the rest of his cards on the table–
When someone clears their throat behind him. 
Buck whips around to find a strange man standing in Tommy’s living room, beer bottle in hand. 
“Oh.” A pang of something ugly lances through Buck’s heart. “Guess you moved on faster than I did,” he mutters darkly.
The mystery man cracks a humorless laugh. “Not fucking likely.” 
Buck doesn’t know what to do with that.
“Sal Deluca,” the man says, stepping forward and extending his hand. Buck takes it, incandescent jealousy and the throbbing heartache that’s made breathing difficult all week making way for a numb sort of recognition. He’s heard mentions of Sal, and the face clicks with some old photos he’s seen in Tommy’s photo albums; because Tommy’s old school like that and has printed photos in physical albums people can flip through. Sal is an old friend of his who moved away years ago. “Worked with this lug back at the 118,” he says. “And we are not boning or romancin’ each other.” 
Buck catches Tommy rolling his eyes. 
“In fact, I’m in town for the first time in almost a year and what do I find? This idiot throwing away the best thing that’s ever happened to him.” 
“Sal.” 
Sal ignores Tommy’s warning tone, trains his eyes on Buck, his voice pitched low and sincere. “I don’t even know you, but I know that much.” 
He leaves with a clap to Tommy’s shoulder and something muttered that sounds like, “Don’t screw this up again,” and then he’s out the door. 
“You should go,” Tommy says quietly, when it’s just the two of them standing there, too far apart.
Now that Buck gets a better look at him, Tommy looks tired. Ragged. Like he hasn’t slept in a week. Buck can relate. “No.”
“Buck–”
“Don’t you dare.” He tries sounding fierce but it just comes out broken. He’s never been ‘Buck’ to Tommy and he sure as hell doesn’t wanna start now. That name means they’re over, and he’s not letting that happen without a fight. “I said, I love you.”
“I heard you.”
“And, what? You don’t believe me? Or you think I’m too dumb to know when I’m in love with someone?”
“I never said that–”
“I’ve been in love before, Tommy– more than once. And just because they were women and you’re the first guy I fell for doesn’t make what I feel any less real!” 
“But it doesn’t mean it’s going to last.”
He sounds tired, too. Like maybe he’s been up all night every night thinking about them. Maybe he leaned on Sal like Buck’s been leaning on Eddie; a good friend who lets you pour your heart out until there’s nothing left but a hollow ache in your chest, drained eyes and confusion. 
But the worst part is how resigned he seems, like it’s over and there’s nothing to be done about it. There’s a lot Tommy hasn’t thought through properly. 
“I may be new to being bisexual, but that doesn’t mean my heart is new. And frankly, it’s pretty insulting of you to assume I don’t know what I’m feeling, or how I’ll feel months or years from now.” 
That seems to land like a blow, Tommy’s already creased brow pinching as he looks away. “You don’t have experience with men–” 
And that fucking does it. “I’m not a kid, Tommy! I don’t need you to tell me what I need! And I’m not any of those guys who hurt you– doesn’t matter if they were gay, or bi, or whatever!” Buck wants to yell at him some more: call him a coward, an asshole for predicting the worst in people.  
Tommy shakes his head. He still doesn’t look at Buck.
“You don’t get to just end this because you’re scared. That’s not how this works– we’re supposed to talk about it.” It’s been a constant in their relationship: talking things through. It’s the first relationship Buck’s had with such an open and honest line of communication, and there’s no way he could go back to anything else. 
Tommy looks up, then, and meets Buck’s gaze. His eyes are watery and his words come out choked. “I don’t want to end this.” 
“Then don’t,” Buck pleads, daring to close a bit of the distance between them. 
Tommy pulls back. Not far, and not much with his feet, more with his shoulders, but it’s enough to make Buck’s heart sink. 
Because Tommy is denying himself – like that night before he first kissed Buck and changed his life for the better; he was so hesitant to believe that he was part of their team, too – he’s not letting himself have something good because he doesn’t think he deserves it, doesn’t think it’s real. “We’re not too good to be true.”
“What?” 
“You said that, about the parking space,” Buck recalls. He’s run the conversation over in his head a thousand times since that night.
“That’s.. not what I meant.” Tommy seems less convinced by his own words, now. 
“Every other relationship I’ve had has fallen apart because I didn’t see the end coming,” Buck admits. “Because we weren’t compatible. And part of me was worried with you, at first, because I’d always been the one who ends up alone.” It’s painful to think about, to think Tommy could be just another in a long line of people Buck wore his heart on his sleeve for but who didn’t want him as much in return. “But you kept proving to me over, and over that you were there for me, and you wanted me around, and you didn’t think I was too much.” Buck has to swallow around the desperate rasp coming through in his voice now. He blinks to keep his vision clear.
There’s something there, then: a look on Tommy’s face telling him plainly that he could never be too much for him, that that’s not what this about. And there’s something else familiar, too: fear. The same glimpse of fear Buck saw that night before Tommy walked out on him. The same kind of fear Buck’s seen in the mirror his whole life. 
Tommy’s afraid they won’t last. 
Tommy’s afraid he’s not enough. 
“Please don’t think like that,” Buck pleads again. “Like there’s an expiration date for us.” 
“I can’t help it.”
“Yes, you can!” Buck erupts again, frustrated with how willing Tommy is to just roll over and let their relationship die. “Just believe in us! Tell me what I have to do to get you to believe how serious I am about you– how much I care about you, and see you for who you are, and want all of you for as long as possible.” 
Tommy shakes his head, eyes downcast, and Buck can’t take it anymore– he closes the remaining distance between them. Stands toe to toe with Tommy, proximity alone silently demanding he listen to what he has to say.
“Hey,” he says softly, but with that same dogged determination that’s been distilled over the years into something less reckless and more mindful. He curls a finger under Tommy’s chin, gently nudging it up until he looks at him. 
There’s armor in place, but Tommy’s peeking through. And he hasn’t moved away. He hasn’t given up, not completely. He needs Buck to fight for them, to know they’re worth fighting for. Maybe then he’ll finally believe they can make it.
“I love you. I’ve been searching my whole life for a love like this, so don’t tell me this isn’t real– I know how I feel,” Buck insists, then calms. “And I think you feel the same.” 
“Evan–”
“I’m not giving up on us. So you can fight me, or you can fight for us.” 
Tommy exhales a shaky breath, averting his eyes again. Buck can see the tears making them wet, tracking down his cheeks as he ducks his head. He can hear them in the way Tommy’s voice wavers. “You think too highly of me, kid.” It’s not a jab, the name. Tommy’s protecting his vulnerable underbelly. 
“Do you trust me?” 
Tommy takes a beat. “I want to,” he confesses, quiet in the small space where their bodies don’t touch, could touch but not yet; he’s holding his breath. 
Buck braces himself. “Do you love me?” It’s a simple question, one he’s pretty sure he knows the answer to. But those few seconds before Tommy speaks are nerve wracking as hell and long enough for a thread of doubt to try to weave its way back into his mind – the same doubt he’d finally quashed before he jumped in his jeep and drove across town: what if he read this all wrong? What if Tommy doesn’t actually love him? His own breath catches painfully in his lungs; he’s on a precipice, heart balanced for a freefall that could see him plummet to the ground, or.. or spread wings, and.. fly. 
Tommy lifts his head, his beautiful eyes rimmed red and making his irises that much bluer by contrast. “Evan, I’m so in love with you,” he breathes out; a sigh of anguish, like truth and painful honesty, airing grievance out into the world so that it might ease the weight sitting on his chest, the kind that makes it hard to breath, hard to exist. “You’ll be the death of me, kid.” 
It’s not the first time he’s said that, although the other times were under very different circumstances. But it was always playful, and Buck can see the words for what they are now: a defense mechanism. Buck’s heart aches for him, but Tommy’s admission also sets something aglow in his own chest, something warm and pure and precious. “I’m not going to hurt you,” he promises. 
“You don’t know that.” 
“I do know it. We’ve both been hurt before– but we don’t need to hurt each other. And, I get it– you were trying to protect yourself when you walked out on me that night.”
Tommy moves to turn away, ends up just shuffling in place. He still wants to be close to Buck. 
“Why can’t we just try? ‘Cause if you think you’re the only one who’d be heartbroken if this doesn’t work out, you’re wrong.” He’s realized some things this past week: he doesn’t adhere to whatever bullshit stereotype there is about men who are bi or people who come to terms with their queerness later in life – he doesn’t need to play the field or experiment or whatever crap Tommy tried to pass off as reason enough to justify his fears. He also realized that he loves Tommy – more than he’s ever loved anyone, more than he thought was possible to love someone but maybe always secretly hoped was in his future, even when that dark voice in his head tried to convince him no one would ever love him as much. 
But Tommy does. Tommy loves him so much the thought of Buck breaking up with him scared him into ending things before he could get his own heart broken. But what he feels for Tommy isn’t some kind of puppy love or something he’ll grow out of or get bored of; it’s real, and Tommy thinking he’s not enough, that he’s not forever-kind-of-love material doesn’t dissuade Buck any; he’s intimately familiar with issues of self worth.
Whatever insecurities Tommy has about being someone’s last love doesn’t apply to Buck. “You’re enough, for me. You’re everything, actually. Everything I ever wanted and more I didn’t know I could want.” 
A heavy moment passes between them where Buck sees his words sink in. They seem to weigh Tommy down, even more. 
He wants so badly to reach out, to speak the words into his mouth, press them into his skin until Tommy can’t deny how real they are because he’ll feel them with every breath, every movement.
“I don’t want to lose you,” Tommy admits, voice soft and more vulnerable than Buck’s ever heard it. “I can’t lose you, Evan. If you ask me to try, and then–” he cuts himself off, shakes the thought away, tries to barricade himself back behind his armor. 
Maybe Buck can’t fully understand Tommy’s fear because he hasn’t experienced what he has, but he knows what it’s like to try and fail, to love and be left. But the two of them are on the same page this time – for everything that matters – not reading from separate books like Buck and all of his exes. “Did I ever tell you about Thomas and Mitchell?” 
“Um, no. I don’t think so. Friends of yours?” Buck can see Tommy’s still raw, still hiding, but he goes along with it, gives him the opening, like he’s always done.
“No, they uh.” Buck swallows, the memory still affects him even all these years later. “They were an elderly gay couple I met on a call a few years back. Well, I met Thomas. Sat with him after he watched his husband die.” 
Tommy tries to look unimpressed with having to listen to a sad story – he’s more of a romcom guy; lighthearted storylines and happy endings, Buck knows – but his face crumples a bit in sympathy. 
“He said, Mitchell was his heart, and that they wanted to go together. I could see how heartbroken he was, and the thought of loving someone like that and then losing them? I couldn’t imagine what that must be like.” 
Tommy doesn’t say it but Buck can almost hear his gently snarky tone: we’re not dead, Evan. He can see the words held back behind the purse of Tommy’s lips. 
“I told him I hoped to find a love like that some day. And he told me something I’ve carried with me ever since.” Tommy searches his face, and Buck feels the truth of Old Thomas’ words in this moment. “He said: you don’t find it, you make it.” 
Tommy blinks. “Are you saying you want to grow old with me?”
Buck can’t help his smile; it’s the first real one he’s had because of Tommy all week– one not tinged in pain and regret. There’s the Tommy he knows and loves. “I’m saying, I want to make it with you. Because these past six months have been the best of my life, Tommy. And I realized it’s because I found you– my person– and I want to make a future with you.” 
And there’s that tentative smile – the same one Tommy wore on their makeup coffee date all those months ago when he gave Buck a second chance. 
They deserve a second chance, now. They deserve to try. 
“I can’t move in with you,” Tommy settles on, and it sounds like a but, like: I can’t move in with you, but I want to be with you. 
Buck shakes his head before Tommy even finishes. “That’s okay, we don’t have to live together.” He knows the unspoken yet doesn’t go unnoticed for the way Tommy’s narrowed eyes assess him. There’s no use hiding it. “I do want to live with you, some day. I want to build a life with you. But, we can take it slow.”
“I don’t think ‘slow’ is in your repertoire.” It’s a joke. Tommy’s smile is less fragile, his armor lowered. 
Buck smiles again, hopeful; Tommy’s coming out of hiding. 
He reaches out, fingertips grazing Tommy’s, his movements unhurried. Tommy lets him tangle their fingers together. 
“Yeah?” 
“Yeah,” Tommy says, “Okay.” 
Buck’s falling, diving, soaring. And he’s not alone. “Would a kiss be out of the question right now?” 
That crinkly smile that Buck loves so much finally makes its return, creasing around Tommy’s eyes like rays of sunshine. He didn’t realize just how much he missed the sight of Tommy’s joy until he’s faced with it head on, bright and gorgeous. He feels nourished in its presence, especially knowing he’s the cause of it. He thinks it’s okay to be a little proud of that. 
Tommy kisses him. Oh– this.. he’s missed this: the press of Tommy’s lips on his, his stubble scraping against Buck’s skin– catching on Buck’s own scruff. He slides a hand up Tommy’s chest, feeling the warm, toned bulk of him. Hooks his fingers around Tommy’s neck to pull him in more, bring their bodies flush, slip his tongue into Tommy’s mouth and get a proper taste of him.
One of Tommy’s large hands fits tentatively to Buck’s hip, one last show of hesitance. Buck disentangles their fingers and covers both of Tommy’s hands, moving them to rest heavier, grip him firmly, with no room for uncertainty.
“No more running away,” Buck murmurs, nose brushing alongside Tommy’s. He feels more than sees Tommy shake his head.
“No more running,” he agrees, following with another lingering kiss that’s begging to be deepened.
Buck breaks it to add: “We’re in this together.” 
Tommy nods. “I’m with you.”
It’s not how he thought their first love confessions would go, but they’ll be stronger for it, he knows that much. And he knows Tommy loves him. And Tommy knows Buck loves him in return. And that’s a pretty good starting place for a second chance. 
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jjungkookislife · 9 months ago
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Tongue Like Candy Pt. 2 [Final]
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ღ pairing: yoongi x f. reader
ღ genre: angst with a happy ending, brother's best friend au, smut [18+]
ღ summary: The last person you expect to see at your college graduation is the man who broke your heart three years ago. Despite the heartache you both went through, you can't stay away from each other. Will your brother be the obstacle in your relationship with Yoongi, or will it work out this time?
ღ wc: 15.8k
ღ warnings: pet names (princess, baby, babe), virgin!reader, age gap, sexual thoughts, corruption kink, self-deprecation, jealousy, masturbation, alcohol mention/use, food mention, mention of jimin x f. reader, hair pulling, marking (hickeys, biting, scratching), dry humping, shared shower, shirt used as a mouth gag, choking, fingering (f. receiving), oral sex (f. giving and receiving), protected sex, first time
ღ Date: March 9, 2024
ღ read part one here
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~
And despite the ache in your heart that lingers and stings for the next three years, that’s exactly what happens.
It was just a one-time thing.
~
“Fucking finally!” you throw your cap in the air to the mix with everyone else’s not caring where yours landed before you push through the graduates to get a head start in leaving— ducking, and dodging professors on your quest to the door.
You had agreed to meet your family in the car, not wanting to spend an hour or more searching for them in the crowd of parents who are looking for their graduate as well. Nah, you had learned from high school.
“You should have tried out for track. I could barely keep up, princess.” You freeze, not wanting to turn around because you knew that voice anywhere and if you turned to face him, it would mean he was here for you and you’re not sure you could cope.
The last time you had seen him was well over three years ago. You had made it a point to avoid him at all costs, even turning down gatherings with your brother so you wouldn’t be bombarded by the events that had transpired on the night following your graduation party.
You couldn’t escape him, couldn’t run anywhere. With a deep breath, you turn around to face him for the first time, and it’s no shock when he takes your breath away.
“Yoongi.” his name rolls off your tongue easily, your heart hammering against your ribcage.
“Wow!” he exclaims, cheeks turning pink right after. “You’re even more beautiful than I remember.”
You wish you could respond, say thank you, say anything. You’re unable to, taken aback by his beauty. This man only gets more and more scrumptious with age, huh? The last time you’d seen him, his hair had been orange—a menace to society. Now, his hair was back to black and deliciously long; you couldn’t help but think he was hot as fuck with his natural hair color.
“Thank you,” you murmur, feeling overwhelmed. You look past him, seeing the doors open to let the parents out, and you know you’ll have a buffer in just a few minutes. 
“I hope it’s okay that I’m here. Your brother invited me, and I know we haven’t talked since…” Yoongi trails off, licking his lips. He runs his hand through his hair and you notice that he’s gotten much buffer since the last time you saw him, his suit jacket straining on his biceps. You remember what he’d felt like on top of you, cock rubbing against your wet cunt.
“Since you fucked my mouth,” you finish, instantly regretting it when his eyes widen and his jaw drops.
“Geez, princess. I wasn’t gonna be that crude about it,” Yoongi laughs, shaking his head. Good to know you hadn’t changed a bit since he stuffed his cock in your mouth, as you so politely reminded him.
“Yikes!” you grimace, smiling sheepishly after.
Yoongi laughs, throwing his head back. “You haven’t changed a bit, huh?”
“Not really,” you shrug. “Other than cutting my hair.”
“It’s cute,” Yoongi is quick to say.
“Thanks. And thanks for coming. You didn’t have to.”
“I wouldn’t have missed it for the world, princess. I’ve missed you,” he admits easily with a shrug, and your heart thumps extra heavily.
You’re unsure what demon possesses you, because you step forward, forgetting about all your conflicting feelings as you wrap your arms around his neck, lips pressed to his. It takes Yoongi by surprise, but his arms easily find their way around your waist, kissing you back just as eagerly.
Just like that, the chemistry between you sparks once again. Yoongi holds you tight in his embrace, lips moving in sync with yours as your fingers toy with his hair, just as soft as you remember. You want to drown in his essence, kiss him within an inch of his life as your body arouses feelings you haven’t experienced since that fateful day.
“I-” you start as you unwrap yourself from Yoongi, taking a step back to put some much-needed distance between you. 
“Hey, brat! Congrats!” Your brother cheers as he approaches you. He tugs you into a hug and you wonder if he witnessed your exchange with his best friend. 
“Hey! Thanks, I’m so happy to be done with school. I busted my ass to graduate a year early.” you smile as your parents join you. 
The five of you take pictures, soon joined by Jimin and Taehyung, who bring along their families. And like your high school graduation, there’s a party at your house tonight with all your friends and family invited. That includes Yoongi. 
Over the past three years, you’ve managed to avoid him completely, which was easy, considering your brother wasn’t in town too often. Plus, being a college student meant you spent a lot of your time on campus, so even if your brother was in for a (short) visit, you could use school as an excuse. 
Should you have talked to Yoongi? Sure. You probably could have found any of his socials if you tried, but it’s not like he was reaching out either. Your brother was more important than some romp in your room, of that you were sure. So why did it sting to know Yoongi wasn’t calling?
To make matters worse, the moment you step into your home, you’re left alone in the hallway with Yoongi. His gaze follows yours, staring at your bedroom door, his cheeks flushing as he looks away, only to lock eyes with you. 
So many thoughts run through Yoongi’s head, so many unspoken words he wishes he could have said, and yet, there’s nothing but silence. 
It’s in this silence that his thoughts stray, memories of that night seeping into the forefront of his mind.
The beating of his heart reverberates against his chest like a rhythmic drum, and the warmth that spreads through his veins is nearly too much, but the feel of your mouth on him easily combats that, yearning for more heat.
Your kisses are still a little awkward, but you mimic his movements easily, even brushing your tongue against his and taking a nip of his bottom lip. He notes the way you moan against him when he groans deep in his chest, arousal wetting your thighs. 
When you take his cock in your mouth, he says your name in a way that would embarrass him if he were with anyone else. He doesn’t think of himself as a Casanova, but every girl is a new experience, and when it’s with someone you have feelings for—whatever they may be—it’s out of this world. He doesn’t want his heart to get in the way of whatever this is because you’re batting your lashes and pouting when he doesn’t react right away to the languid movement of your hand on his length.
A pouty frown sits on your pretty lips, tongue peeking to lick at them as you wait for him to give you his undivided attention once again. You’re so pretty on your knees, drooling over his cock, the excitement of doing more evident on your face. 
By no means was this the best blowjob he's ever gotten, but what you lacked in skill you made up in enthusiasm. Besides, how could Yoongi ever compare you to anyone else when you were the only one who had his heart beating as rapidly as it was, new feelings arousing in him that he’d never felt before? You were incomparable.
“Make yourself at home,” your brother shouts from the top of the stairs, and you use that chance to run off to your bedroom, avoiding being in Yoongi’s presence for the time being. You know you won’t be able to avoid him for too long, but you just need a moment to catch your breath. 
Yoongi watches you run off, wincing when the bedroom door slams shut and he’s left alone. Sure, he’s been in your home since that night, but never with you still in it. There had always been some excuse when Yoongi came around, some paper, some midterm, some way to avoid him.
You were always in his thoughts, from the moment he woke until the moment he went to bed, sometimes with his hand wrapped around his hard cock, reminiscing about your lips. 
Day and night he tried to get his thoughts together, to piece every bit of himself into a picture, map out all his feelings, and decipher them before he made an even bigger mistake. 
Yoongi typed up what he wanted to say to you in his notes app, locked for his eyes only, but courage always failed him. Time and time again, he’d copy the words, all ingrained in his mind as he hovered over your Instagram, wishing he wasn’t such a sucker and could just send the damn message. Back and forth he went each day, thoughts growing darker and darker. 
You’re bothering her.
She doesn’t like you.
Leave her alone.
Despite those thoughts, Yoongi finds himself in front of your bedroom door, his fist raised to knock when the door opens, startling you and him.
“I-” he starts, looking at you as he licks his lips. Your gaze catches his lips, your hand reaching out for his shirt, tugging him into your bedroom before shutting the door after him.
“Yoongi,” you breathe his name, lips on his instantly as you push him onto your bed. Yoongi grips your waist, kissing you back as you settle over his lap.
This is wrong.
There’s so much left unsaid.
You need to leave.
His thoughts overwhelm him and he’s pulling away slowly, regretfully. He doesn’t miss the disappointed look that flashes across your face before you put your defenses back up. 
Yoongi watches you as you get off his lap and move across the room. You’re pacing back and forth, and he eyes you warily. Of course, he’d love to smother you in kisses and hold you in his arms. Take you to bed until his name is all you can say, but he can’t. 
“I’m sorry,” you apologize, and his eyes widen as he meets your gaze. “I shouldn’t have kissed you at graduation or now.”
“Princess,” he starts, but you cut him off. 
“I’m sure you have better things to do than be here with me. I won’t let this happen again. I'm sorry.”
“Princess, just let me talk to you. There’s nothing to apologize for unless you’re dating someone?” Yoongi’s words feel like a knife is in his throat as he says them, and he bites his lip as he awaits your answer. 
“No.” you shake your head. As if there could ever be anyone else when you’ve spent the last three years dreaming of seeing him again, of kissing him. 
Okay, there was that brief make-out session with Jimin that one time, but that was just for fun. Yoongi doesn’t have to know about that. 
“No?” Yoongi repeats, almost hopeful. He swallows thickly, running a hand through his hair, and he doesn’t miss the way your eyes follow the movement. He clenched his hands, veins prominent, and smirks when you nearly salivate over it. 
“Has there been anyone since?” It’s none of his business. He knows it’s none of his business, but fuck, he wants to know. He needs to know if anyone else has touched you like he did—if they’ve fallen for you as he had, and if they still think of you. 
“Yes,” you answer, and his world shakes. That’s not the answer he was expecting, but he knows it was bound to happen after all. 
“Oh,” his dejected sigh fills the space between you. 
“It didn’t mean anything. It’s stupid, so stupid,” you laugh as you grip your hair in your hands and squeeze. “But I haven’t been able to get you out of my head since and I thought kissing someone else would fix it but it didn’t. Nothing ever did, and it hurts, Yoongi. It hurts to know we couldn’t have been anything, and it hurts to know I was so easy to forget.” 
Yoongi stands. “Easy to forget?” 
You nod. 
“Easy to forget?” He repeats with a scoff. “If you’re so easy to forget, why have I been thinking about you every day since then? Why have I been hoping you’d call or message me, so I could see you again? You dodged every opportunity you could to see me and I thought that’s what you wanted, so I backed off. After all, I wasn’t trying to force my way into your life. But you are in no way easy to forget and if that’s what you think, then I haven’t done a good job of proving just how unforgettable you are, princess.”
You’re utterly stunned by his words. You blink, moving on autopilot as you grip him by the shirt, only hesitating for a split second before his hands grip your face. The heated stare he rewards you with leaves you breathless. The last time you’d seen him looking this intent, this serious, was that night in your bedroom and as those thoughts come to mind, you slam your lips on his.
Your lips are on his instantly, moving perfectly with his in a more practiced way than before. Yoongi bites back the jealousy he feels because you weren’t his and whoever taught you this was a figureless head in his mind. However, that does little to quell the jealousy that bubbles deep in his abdomen as his fingers grip your hair to hold you in place.
Yoongi allows you to lead after a beat, curious to see what else you’ve learned in his absence. His hands grab your hips, holding you to him as your tongue prods his lips apart when he makes no move to do so.
For a few moments, you allow yourself to forget all the pain and sorrow you went through. Kissing Yoongi feels just like the first time, but so much better. This time you’re not fumbling around, wondering if you’re doing it correctly or if it’s a massive failure. This time you kiss him with confidence, your fingers threading through his hair as you pull him close, teeth gently nipping on his bottom lip just to hear him groan, ending the kiss so he can press his forehead to yours. His gaze burns deep into your soul, and you wonder how you could have lived without this man for so long. Feelings you swear you buried away begin to rise to the surface, and as you keep your gaze locked on his, you realize just how fucked you are, because this time—this time—you know you won’t recover from the heartbreak again.
“Yoongi?!” You both step away from each other at the sound of your brother’s voice. Your heart is thundering in your chest and Yoongi echoes it. He runs a hand through his hair, looking in the mirror in your bedroom before he slowly opens your bedroom door. 
Your brother is at the top of the stairs, calling out to Yoongi again. 
“Coming!” Yoongi looks at you one last time, a frown on his lips. Would it always be like this?
“Go,” you mouth, and he nods. He hesitates, but Yoongi gets called again. 
He curses, “I’ll talk to you tonight, princess. Please wait up.”
You nod before urging him to go. Your brother’s footsteps are growing louder as he rounds the landing. 
“Dude, what took you so long?” Your brother asks, annoyed, as he finally looks up from his phone. “I need help getting the drinks in the cooler. Let’s go!”
“Sorry, I had to go to the bathroom.” Yoongi shrugs but follows your brother out of the house and to the car. 
You watch them go, shutting your bedroom door and leaning against it. Your lips still tingle from his kiss, and you hate yourself for feeling this way again. You had never really moved on from Yoongi or from that night. You had tried fooling yourself into believing you had, but seeing him again, kissing him, brought back all those feelings tenfold and you knew you were screwed. 
Fuck Min Yoongi.
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“Babe! Why are you hiding in here?” Taehyung asks as he steps into your bedroom hours later. You’d hidden for most of the night, which was unusual, seeing as it was a party to celebrate you.
“You know this party is for you, right?” Jimin asks as he follows Tae and shuts the door after himself. 
“It’s for you guys too,” you answer weakly as you lay back on your bed. You miss the look of concern exchanged between both your friends as they climb onto the bed. Jimin on your left and Taehyung on your right. 
“Okay, spill it,” Jimin demands as he turns to his side, resting his elbow on the bed and his head in his palm
“Yeah, and don’t even think about lying,” Taehyung states firmly, knowing his bull shit meter will catch it. 
“Yoongi kissed me,” you admit softly. 
Jimin raises a brow. “At your last graduation? We know that.”
“Is the party bringing back memories?” Taehyung asks curiously. 
“No. I mean, he kissed me. Today,” you emphasize. 
“Wait.” Jimin hops off your bed. “That bastard’s here?” 
Taehyung gets off the bed as well, heading to your bedroom door before you scramble to stop them. 
“Stop! Don’t go out there.” 
“He kisses you and then leaves you again? I’m rocking his shit up! He can’t do that to you again! We won’t allow it!” Jimin is fuming. Taehyung nods in agreement. You had been broken up about that night and not seeing Yoongi after. You wallowed in your sadness, wondering if you hadn’t been good enough or if he hated you. Your best plan of action was to avoid him at all costs, which you did successfully until today. 
Jimin and Taehyung had been around to pick up the pieces and glue them back together. They hated how this situation had affected you. They knew you couldn’t separate your actions from your feelings and, try as you might, your denials just proved empty. Because you did have feelings for Min Yoongi. You always had and your little diary proved it and it was cemented further that night. It may not have meant much to Yoongi, having been more experienced, but it meant something to you. 
Yoongi was the first and only one you had gone that far with. Sure, you had made out with Jimin once, but it didn’t compare to Yoongi. Don’t tell Jimin, though. 
“He wants to talk later,” you whisper. 
Taehyung clicks his tongue. “So he can leave for another 3 years? I don’t think so.”
“He’s right, babe. We can’t keep you from doing what you want. And we’ll support your decisions, but just tread lightly, okay? Don’t fall for his charms so easily,” Jimin warns before he’s wrapping you up in a hug. 
“You’re our baby.”
“I love you guys. Now go out and have fun. I’m gonna freshen up and meet you out there, okay?” You force a smile and they nod, kissing your cheek before stepping out of your bedroom. 
Jimin and Tae remain at your side for a while until you’re caught in a conversation with relatives, and you forget about Yoongi even being in attendance. You decide to enjoy yourself and worry about him tomorrow.
Or so you thought.
With an empty cup, you head to the kitchen for a refill. You’re quite surprised to see it’s vacant as you go to the counter to make a drink.
“Have you been avoiding me?” you curse when you hear his voice. Hands shaking with nerves, you slowly turn around to face Yoongi. 
He’s leaning against the entryway, a smug smile on his lips, but you know better. He’s putting on a cool facade for you, but his eyes betray him. Yoongi looks over his shoulder, making sure the coast is clear before stepping further into the kitchen.
“Nope.” you shrug, turning your attention to your drink. “Just busy.”
“Hmm.”
“Did you need something?” you ask, bringing your drink to your lips. Yoongi watches you intently before he takes the cup from your hands and sets it back on the counter. 
“I need you,” he whispers before his lips are on yours. Immediately, your hands grip his shirt to pull him closer, a whimper escaping you when he’s got you pressed to the counter and his hands grip your waist.
“Yoongi,” his name slips from your lips, forgetting for a moment that things were rocky between you. Why couldn’t you just forget and let live?
“Kiss me,” he pleads in a low, needy tone that makes your head spin.
So you kiss him.
Again, and again, and once more for good measure.
Yoongi moans your name softly, making your body burn with desire as your fingers tug on his hair. He curses, his cock twitching in his pants as his hands squeeze your waist. What he wouldn’t do to kiss you from head to toe, spend every moment from now until morning devouring you while you call out his name.
“Fuck,” he curses, licking his lips as you pant, trying to catch your breath. Yoongi grins, thankful he’s had the same effect on you as you did on him. 
There’s so much he’d like to say, so much he wishes he could tell you, but like always, he’ll have to wait as footsteps fill the hall. 
Yoongi steps away, busying himself by getting a drink while you open the fridge to hide your face. It would easily give you away.
“There you are! I swear you’re hiding from me tonight,” your brother jokes as he leans against the fridge, completely ignoring Yoongi as he chugs his drink.
“Just needed a drink. You know how Aunt May gets at parties,” you lie but your brother laughs. 
“Did she tell you the vacation story again?” he asks with a shake of his head.
“Yes, but she gave me a check, so I listened for once,” you giggle, showing him the check your aunt wrote for you. 
“Nice,” your brother hugs you. “I think everyone’s wrapping up, if you wanna go say bye.”
“I should do that,” you agreed quickly, going around your brother to leave.
“We’ll have lunch tomorrow! I’m staying the night until my apartment is ready!” he calls. You throw a thumbs up over your head to acknowledge him before scurrying away from Yoongi’s heated gaze.
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It’s almost an hour later before you’re back in your bedroom. You’ve taken a shower, put your pajama shorts on, and another oversized shirt you’ve stolen from the pile of Yoongi’s in your brother’s closet. You’ve managed to grow your collection while your brother’s been gone, and now nearly every shirt of Yoongi’s sits hidden in the last drawer of your dresser, just beneath your other pajamas.
When you get in bed, you’re not too surprised when there’s a light knock on your door. Nerves bubble up inside you as you get out of bed as quietly as possible. 
You know your parents have gone with your Aunt May for the night. She always has too many glasses of wine and your parents like to make sure she’s okay, often staying the night and having brunch in the morning. The only one home and upstairs in bed is your brother, his loud snores fill the home.
Slowly, you turn the doorknob, opening the door to see Yoongi.
“Hey,” he greets you in a whisper. You grip him by the shirt, tugging him into your bedroom. He stumbles over his feet before you shut the door to press him against it.
Yoongi grunts when his back meets the wood, cock twitching immediately as your lips press against his. Yoongi is caught off guard but his hands cup your face and before you know it, it’s you that’s pressed against the door.
“Yoongi,” you moan his name just like he remembers, cock throbbing in the confines of his jeans. He kisses you deeper, drinking you in as his tongue brushes yours. 
“Fuck, princess,” he groans as he kisses his way to your neck, teeth nipping and sucking at the sensitive skin. His mark is left behind, soothed by his fiery tongue as he moves downward, hands gripping the shirt you’ve stolen from him. At this point, it’s all he ever wants to see you in.
With ease, Yoongi kisses you as he leads you to your bed. He drops when the back of his knees hits the mattress, taking you with him. You squeal in surprise, giggling when he kisses you to muffle your sounds.
“We need to be quiet,” he reminds you. You nod, licking your lips as you move to straddle him, lacing your fingers with his as you press his hands over his head, grinding down on him. Yoongi moans your name, eyes fluttering shut as he enjoys your hips moving together.
Fuck, he was supposed to be talking to you, not grinding on you.
“Baby,” he breathes, throwing his head back when you grind on him harder, biting back moans as you release his hands to grip your tits. Fuck, why was he stopping this?
“We need to talk,” he reminds you as you kiss his neck, teeth sinking into his skin and your tongue laving over it to soothe the sting. Fuck, his head is spinning. This is everything he’s been dreaming of and more.
“So talk,” you say as you grip his shirt, tugging it over his head. Yoongi is malleable beneath you, at your mercy as you have your way with him. He’s so lost in you, intoxicated by your scent, your lips, your hips.
Yoongi enjoys himself for a moment longer before he kisses your lips and gently pushes you off his lap. He cards a hand through his hair, a small smile on his lips. “Talk, princess.”
You bite your lip. “I’d rather kiss.”
Yoongi chuckles. “So would I.”
You grin, reaching for him again, and Yoongi allows you to steal one kiss before he scoots away.
“We need to talk, baby. I don’t want there to be any misunderstandings between us. Not again. It hurt too much to be away from you for so long, and now that I have you in front of me, I realize just how much I missed you. How much I wish I had chased after you or at the very least, said something.” Yoongi clears his throat, he notes the way you’ve stiffened.
“I wanted to talk to you, Yoongi. Every time I tried, I thought of my brother. I thought of you not reaching out. I thought it was better this way,” you shrug, hiding your face in your hands.
“Princess,” Yoongi pulls you to his side. “I didn’t know you wanted me to. You avoided me after, and I was scared I had overstepped. I haven’t gone a day without thinking of you, of wishing I could have you in my arms just like this.”
You melt, kissing his cheek. “So, where do we go from here?”
“I want to be with you, princess. I want to take you out. I want to spoil the fuck out of you. I want you to be mine,” Yoongi admits as he caresses your face. You feel like you’re falling for him all over again, your heart thumping wildly in your chest as you wrap your arms around his neck.
“I’d love nothing more,” you smile widely, kissing his face again and again until he’s chuckling. His hands grip your waist, allowing you to kiss him as much as you want. You eventually kiss his lips, drowning in him until your back meets your bed, and he’s hovering over you.
“Yoongi,” his name rolls off your tongue in a heady tone that drives him insane, his hips grinding down on yours as you spread your legs for him, welcoming him in between. He hisses, cursing as his hair falls over his eyes and he huffs a breath as you brush it away, tugging at the roots to make him moan.
“Don’t start something you can’t finish,” he teases with a smirk.
“Who says I won’t finish it?” you goad him and he licks his lips. 
“Fuck, you have no idea what you do to me, baby. I want you so bad.” he kisses you again, sucking on your bottom lip as your hands move down to his body, nails digging into his shoulders. 
His name escapes you as his lips suck on the sensitive skin of your throat. Your fingers tug at his hair, making him groan against you. You want him desperately, hoping you’ll get all of him tonight, but you both freeze when your brother's snoring stops and his footsteps echo upstairs. 
“Fuck, fuck,” Yoongi pulls away, a hand carding through his mused hair. He looks at you with wide eyes as he bites his lip. 
This is not how you wanted your brother to find out. 
You both stay still, not making a sound until you hear the footsteps again and minutes later when the toilet flushes. Moments later, the snores resume. 
“Fuck,” Yoongi chuckles nervously. His hands tremble as he looks at you. He bites his lip nervously, his hands going into his pockets. “I should go to the couch.”
You don’t say a word as he grabs his shirt and tugs it back on. You watch him awkwardly from your bed, biting your lip. Yoongi walks over to you, gently pressing a kiss to your lips. 
“Goodnight, princess.”
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Morning comes sooner than you’d like. Your brother’s loud music and off-key singing greet you the moment your eyes open. At least someone’s in a good mood, you think.
Groaning, you huff as you rub your eyes. You’re tired, having slept very little, thinking about every word exchanged with Yoongi. After deciding not to overthink, your mind filled with every kiss, every touch you exchanged and that led to your hand between your legs, softly moaning his name. You hated that he was just on the other side of your bedroom door, unable (and unwilling?) to do anything about it with your brother upstairs. But what did you expect? He’d run out of here the last time the two of you had been together, just like this. You couldn’t keep getting your hopes up. Three years ago you decided your brother was more important, so you’d write last night off as a one-time thing, again.
“Wake up!” Your brother shouts as he knocks on your bedroom door. You curse at him, groaning as you get out of bed. You hit your palm on the door in answer, enough for your brother to leave you alone while you go to the bathroom to brush your teeth. You look at your reflection, cringing when you see a small hickey on your neck. Damn Yoongi.
You head to your closet to change your shirt before opening your bedroom door and heading to the kitchen. 
Yoongi is at the stove with your brother, a spatula in his hand a second before he’s swatting your brother. “Don’t touch it!”
“It’s going to be burned!” your brother protests, but Yoongi swats his hand again and the two argue back and forth, only turning when you open the fridge door to grab the juice.
“Good morning,” Your brother grins. You grunt as Yoongi chuckles.
“Still not a morning person?” Yoongi laughs and you flip him off.
“Anyway,” your brother rolls his eyes. “I’m getting my apartment keys tomorrow so I can start moving in.”
“Congrats!” You exclaim as you take a seat on a stool. 
“Everything I own is in storage and Steph ordered a couch on Tuesday. Our bed will be there tomorrow afternoon, so I just need to move in with my stuff.” Your brother explains. 
“When do I get a tour?” You ask as you try your best to avoid looking at Yoongi. Your brother shrugs.
“You wouldn’t need a tour if you’d gone to Yoongi’s place that one time I invited you,” your brother laughs, turning to smack Yoongi on the shoulder.
“Yoongi’s place?” You choke out. 
“Yeah?” Your brother quirks his head. “Did I not mention it was in his building?”
“No,” you swallow thickly, reaching for your glass of juice to gulp it down. By the stove, Yoongi is gripping the spatula harder than necessary, the egg for gyeran bap sizzling on the pan. Perhaps he should have said something?
“Yoongi got me in with the landlord,” your brother grins. “I can’t wait to move in with Steph. It’s nice to be home after traveling so much. It’s exhausting.”
“When are you proposing?” You smile mischievously as your brother whips his head. He rubs the back of his neck and Yoongi smirks behind him. Your brother had met Steph on one of his trips home, they’d been together for almost three years now.
Your brother pats his pocket and out comes a small black velvet box. 
“Shut up!” You shout as you set your glass down on the counter with a thud. Yoongi chuckles as he turns the stove off and begins plating the food. 
“I had Yoongi help me pick it out,” your brother admits as he opens the box, and a gorgeous ring sits nestled in the middle. 
“Oh, she’s gonna flip!” You squeal as you jump up and down. Your brother laughs, shutting the box in case your excitement knocks the ring out of his hands. 
“I’m gonna wait until we’re settled in our apartment before proposing,” your brother explains as he thanks Yoongi with a nod when he places the food in front of the two of you. “So don’t go opening that big mouth of yours, brat!”
Offended, you place your hand on your chest. “Me?!”
“You’re easy to read,” Yoongi says with a shrug as he takes a bite of his food. “Plus, you’re not as quiet as you think.”
You stare at him, mouth agape as he meets your gaze, fiery and knowing. Perhaps he had heard you last night…
“See, he knows what I’m talking about,” your brother is oblivious as he eats his food. “I wanna tell Mom and Dad first and of course plan it out perfectly and that’s going to take a while.”
“We’ll help with whatever you need!” You exclaim and Yoongi laughs. 
“I’m being volunteered to help?”
“Yes!” You huff with a roll of your eyes. “Why wouldn’t you? You got plans?”
“Nope,” Yoongi chuckles before turning to your brother. “You know I’ll help with whatever you need. Just say the word.”
“Thanks, man,” your brother smiles brightly. “And of course, I’ll help with whatever you need when it’s your turn.”
You freeze, looking away from Yoongi to stare down at your plate. A short silence follows and Yoongi scrounges up a passing smile. 
“Uh, thanks.”
Your brother nods, groaning when his phone rings on the counter. He answers it immediately and is soon rushing off when he’s informed his apartment key is ready today if he wants it early, but he’s got an hour to pick it up before the landlord leaves for the day. 
“I’ll be back, maybe. Steph and I want to get some of her stuff in there today from her parents’ house so I might be back later. Mom and Dad are still with Aunt May so I’ll text you!” 
Your brother waves and before you can blink, you hear his car peeling out of the driveway, music blasting loud enough to rattle the windows. You’re sure your neighbors will be glad when he’s gone. 
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Silence fills your home after your brother’s gone. You wash the dishes and head to your room to change, finding Yoongi has done the same. 
Eyeing you hungrily, Yoongi takes in every bit of skin showing where your dress ends just above your knees. He smiles when he sees how flustered you’ve become, turning your head just to avoid his gaze but display the small mark he left last night. 
Biting his lip, he keeps himself from saying something explicit, offering you a compliment before asking about your plans. 
“I was going to head outside to clean up any mess left behind,” you shrug and Yoongi follows you toward your backyard. 
Most of it is clean but a few cups and plastic cutlery litter the ground. You’re thankful nothing nasty has fallen into the pool and you debate inviting Tae and Jimin over for a swim. 
“The party was fun last night,” Yoongi comments as he picks up a trash bag left sitting on a table. 
“Yeah, Jimin almost convinced my mom to do body shots off him,” you roll your eyes in annoyance, glad you were able to swoop in and escort your mother away. 
Yoongi’s laughter fills the air, his eyes closed as his head is thrown back. His hand rests on his stomach as it begins to ache. 
“I would have paid money to see that,” he says once he’s controlled his laughter but it still lingers in his words. 
“Yoon!” You whine, shoving him playfully. “That’s my mother.”
“She knows how to have a good time,” Yoongi smiles smugly and you huff. 
“Gonna get her to do body shots off of you at the next party then,” you grumble. 
Yoongi grins wolfishly and you shove him again. He cackles when you try a third time and miss his chest; his hand wraps around your wrist before he raises it to his lips to kiss your skin. 
“I’m kidding,” Yoongi says with a gummy smile that makes your heart flip in your chest. You could melt just looking at him. 
The late spring heat begins to get to you as you ignore him and finish cleaning up. He’s got a shit-eating grin the whole time, satisfied with himself for annoying you. It reminds him of the times you’d hang around him, always with a quip at the ready to shut him or your brother down. It’s good to know he can still get under your skin and take what he gives out just like he does with you. 
“Here,” you growl as you shove a cold water bottle into his hands once you’re done cleaning up the backyard. He thanks you, taking the lid off and squeezing it harder than necessary to splash you and himself in the process. 
“Min Yoongi!” You scream his name as you step back and start pulling at your sundress, thankful you’ve put on a bathing suit underneath it. 
“Whoops, sorry,” Yoongi shrugs as he sips his water and you snatch it from him to spray him with it. His shirt clings to his body and you stare with lustful eyes as Yoongi simply takes it off. 
“See something you like?” He asks cheekily as he steps closer to you but you’re left speechless and frozen in your spot. Your body is warm, from the heat or Yoongi—you’re unsure— as you do the first thing that comes to mind. 
A splash is heard as you jump into the pool. Yoongi is left flabbergasted in his spot before he joins you with a cannonball right beside you. 
“You’re insufferable,” You hiss as you wipe the water off your face. Yoongi swims closer to you until he’s but a hair's breadth away. 
“And yet you still like me, princess.”
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Laughter is the first thing your brother hears as he opens the front door. He’s in a hurry, having realized halfway to the landlord’s office that he’s forgotten his wallet. 
Normally, he wouldn’t worry about it but he was told to bring his ID to pick up his keys. So he turned around and rushed home taking a few yellow lights that may have been turning red by the time he crossed the intersection.
He knows exactly where to find his wallet (on the coffee table), having tossed it there before helping Yoongi cook, assuring himself he wouldn’t forget it if he had to go out, but alas here he is. 
The back door of his home is slightly ajar and he’s about to scold you when he hears you and Yoongi’s distinct laughter. He grabs his wallet off the coffee table and heads to the back door where he pauses. 
You and Yoongi are laughing, splashing each other with water, and climbing out of the pool just to cannonball back in. Your brother smiles, shaking his head as he notes how the two of you steal glances at each other. 
He may be overprotective but he wasn’t an idiot. He could see the way you looked at his best friend and it wasn’t until the past year that he noted the way Yoongi would look at you. Well, not you but pictures of you that your brother would show him whenever he was back in town. 
“She’s going on vacation with Jimin and Tae,” he remembers telling Yoongi the last time as he sat on Yoongi’s old gray couch. “They’re going to some beach resort.”
Yoongi had nearly ripped the phone out of his hand to see the pictures. Your smile is bright and wide in every photo. It all made sense then, the brightness in Yoongi’s eyes but sadness still lingered in the dark depths. Perhaps it wasn’t his place to stand between you if it meant the two of you could be happy. 
But nothing ever changed. 
You still avoided Yoongi at every chance and as hard as your brother tried to get the ball rolling, it didn’t. You were busy. Always so busy, too busy for him and too busy for Yoongi. 
Now stumbling into the both of you alone, he wonders if something was there, if it always was and he was just unaware.  
He feels like he’s intruding now. He’s gotten what he came for and he shuts the door when you squeal Yoongi’s name once again after he’s splashed you. He smiles to himself as he takes his leave. 
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“You’re so annoying!” You yell when the water hits your face once again. This time you were swimming laps and Yoongi was ahead of you, kicking his feet harder than necessary just to splash more water in your face and causing you to lose. 
Yoongi smirks when he reaches the end of the pool, waiting for you to arrive before he climbs out. 
“Thought you were the captain of the swim team,” Yoongi shrugs, a teasing smile on his lips as you finally reach him. 
You pull yourself out of the pool to sit beside him, glaring. 
“I was the towel girl! And only because Jimin was on the team,” you grumble, shoving him to the side when his smile grows wider. 
“Come on, Little Mermaid, let’s get you inside,” Yoongi rises to his feet, offering you his hand that you swat away. He rolls his eyes, picking up his shirt from the ground and your dress as you get up and join him. 
Yoongi leads you inside the house, puddles forming on the floor where you walk. 
“We’re making a mess,” you groan.
“We’ll clean it up,” he assures you. 
“Come on, it’ll be easier if we contain it to one floor,” you take Yoongi’s hand and he stumbles after you as you lead him to your bedroom, locking the door and leading him to your bathroom. 
Yoongi’s heart is racing. He bites his lip as he watches you turn the shower on. When you start to take off your swimsuit, he turns his back to you. 
“I can wait my turn in the room. I’ll just need a towel to dry off with,” he says nervously. 
“Get in, Yoongi,” you demand as you step into the shower, hot water enveloping your body and making you groan. 
Yoongi hesitates for a moment before you speak again. “It’s nothing you haven’t seen already.”
Yoongi’s face flushes with heat. He slowly takes his board shorts off and steps in with you. Your eyes are closed as you stay under the water and a shiver runs down his spine. 
Slowly, your eyes open and your hands reach for him. You smile softly when water soaks him, his hair sticking to his forehead as he smiles at you. 
You’re still unsure of where you stand, still cycling through your feelings, and knowing this path could lead you to happiness but also despair once again. You’re not sure you could overcome this heartbreak again but with Yoongi standing in front of you in silence, lost in those same thoughts, you kiss him to silence them. 
There’s no rush in your kiss, no urgency, nothing but soft lips and whimpered moans. Yoongi cups your face gently, delicately, almost afraid you’ll break if he lets go. Your hands rest on his shoulders, warm and wet underneath your palms as your lips part for him. A muffled moan leaves you, a groan soon after when your back meets the iciness of the wall behind you. 
Yoongi’s palm hits the wall with a soft slap. His fingers grip your chin to tilt your head upward, exposing more of your neck as his lips trail wet kisses downward.
“I’ve missed you,” Yoongi admits quietly against your skin. You’re positive his words weren’t meant for you to hear but you hold him tighter.
“I wanted to reach out,” you say with a shaky breath. “But he was so glad there was nothing between us. Every time I tried, I thought of him and closed myself off. I figured it would be easier to forget you but it never was.”
“Baby,” Yoongi’s tone is soft, his gaze blurry as tears fill your eyes and his. 
“I’m sorry,” you sniffle, shaking your head as he hugs you. You don’t want to let him go, not again. Your brother will have to understand, he’ll just have to, and if not…
“Don’t think about it right now, okay? We can talk to him together or I can do it alone. There’s no rush, princess. He’s not going anywhere,” Yoongi kisses the top of your head. 
Gently, he wipes your tears before he’s washing your hair. His fingers massage your scalp, humming as he goes. He helps you wash your body, no touch leading to more and you shyly return the favor in between kisses and serene smiles. 
Though you still feel apprehensive about moving forward, you trust that this time will be different. Maybe you’ve become an optimist or maybe you just want to fool yourself into thinking so. Whatever it may be, you hope you’re not left standing on your own in the end. 
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After your shower, you dry off in your bedroom. You’ve put one of Yoongi’s shirts on and he’s borrowed a pair of shorts you’d stolen from him. 
“I want those back,” you tell him as you get in bed with him beside you. 
“Aren’t you just a little thief,” he scoffs as he wraps around you to pull you close. Your head rests on his bare chest, your index finger tracing patterns on his skin. 
“It’s all I had,” you murmur, ignoring the ache in your throat from unshed tears. 
“I have more clothes at home for you to take,” he promises, rubbing your shoulder. 
“I’ll take a bag with me, then,” you sneer. He pinches your thigh playfully. 
“Hey!”
“Swiper, no swiping!”
“Aw. Man!” You laugh, poking Yoongi in the ribs. He winces, sticking his tongue out at you before you’re both startled by his phone vibrating on your nightstand. 
Your brother’s name appears on the screen and you both freeze. Carefully, Yoongi untangles himself from you before answering the call, selecting speakerphone and placing his finger over his lips. 
“Hello?”
“Hey, go home and grab an overnight bag. It’s my last night at home and I want to spend it with you and my sister.”
“I thought you and Steph were going to move her stuff in?” Yoongi asks.
“We got most of it but her parents want to take her to dinner. This is her first time moving out so it’s a big deal. Her siblings are a little upset, as well. She’s the first to move.” 
“That’s gotta be rough,” Yoongi states. He knows your parents were used to your brother coming and going so there was no big to do or celebration for him. 
“Yeah, but they’ll be able to visit often. We live a few blocks away from her parents home. Anyway, I’ll be another hour or so. I have to drop off Steph and then grab dinner for us. I’ll call when I’m close so you can help me bring the food in. I gotta go,” your brother doesn’t let Yoongi get another word in before he hangs up.
“Guess I’m staying the night,” Yoongi chuckles as you wrap your arms around him. 
“Good. I like it when you’re here,” you kiss his cheek before getting out of bed and putting on a pair of shorts. 
“Come on, let’s go to your place.”
“You just want to take more of my stuff,” Yoongi chuckles as he gets up and pops into your closet for a shirt. 
“I’ll see when we get there.” You smile, pressing a quick kiss to his lips before taking his hand to lead him out of your bedroom and out of your home. 
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“Don’t expect much,” Yoongi tells you as he unlocks his front door. “I wasn’t expecting guests.”
“Lemme in!” You pout, nearly stomping your foot on his unwelcome mat. The cat flipping you off totally sets off the mood. Yoongi didn’t like visitors much less those unannounced, so this was an enormous deal for him.
“I’m going! I’m going!” He exclaims as you slide your hands under his shirt, wanting to feel his body once again and knowing you’d end up making out on his doorstep if he didn’t let you in soon. 
With an exaggerated flair, Yoongi opens the door and allows you in. You nearly tackle him out of the way in your haste inside. 
Yoongi’s apartment is so him. The living room is large with an old gray couch, black cushions fluffed up, and sitting on top. His coffee table is small but littered with magazines and books half read and forgotten. 
On the wall opposite the couch sits a large TV mounted in line with the couch. The TV stand beneath it is simple, charcoal in color, and holds all of Yoongi’s consoles and a few board games. 
In the corner, a black guitar sits on its stand and Yoongi gives you a minute to browse his game collection.  
“I’m gonna pack a bag while you snoop,” he calls as he heads to his bedroom. 
“I’m not snooping!” You shout in response but his laughter is the only answer you get. 
However, you linger at his video games, several titles sounding familiar and you gasp when you see a binder tucked under one of the consoles. You open it, surprised to see old Pokémon cards followed by old Yu-Gi-Oh cards. You had your own set tucked in the back of your closet, collecting dust and holding precious memories of your past. 
You set the binder back in its place before going down the hallway toward Yoongi’s bedroom. 
The bedroom door is cracked and you push it open further. Yoongi looks up from his duffel bag sitting on the bed. His closet is open and he waves his hand toward it. 
“Pick a few things you like,” he simply says as he walks to his dresser to get a pair of socks and some underwear. You smile when you go through every shirt once and then twice, picking up a few you like. 
Yoongi chuckles when he sees your hands full. He takes them from you and folds them neatly to stuff on top of his other belongings. 
“Guess I’ll have to go shopping soon,” he muses as he sets the bag on his nightstand and reaches for you. 
“Come here.”
You do so, kissing his cheek to make him blush when he drops the two of you on his bed. 
You scoot further, getting comfy and staring up at the ceiling. You wonder how wonderful it would be to wake up just like this, wrapped in Yoongi’s embrace every morning. 
Yoongi scoots closer, his fingers lacing with yours. 
“Tell me everything I missed,” Yoongi whispers as he brings your hand to his lips, planting a soft kiss on your hand. 
“Where to begin?” You muse as you turn to face him. His gaze bores into yours and he looks so cute with his hair splayed out on his pillow and his soft pink lips turned upward in an encouraging smile. 
You collect your thoughts, soon telling him about everything he missed. The struggles of university, the little fights with friends, your new favorite foods, and ones you couldn’t stand the sight of. You talked of vacations and concerts, jobs you were considering applying for, and those you wanted to avoid, and Yoongi listened intently. He took mental notes, thought of date ideas based on your interests, and laughed when you did. 
“What about you?” You ask when you’re done. 
“Hmm?”
You laugh. “What were you up to?”
“Oh, you know, the usual,” Yoongi shrugs noncommittally and you poke his chest. With a laugh, he takes your finger and brings it to his mouth, teeth nipping your fingertip. 
“Hey!”
A smile tugs at his lips when he releases you. Sighing, he looks up at the ceiling for a moment. “Parties, work, made a few new friends. Not a lot, honestly.”
You climb on his lap, straddling his hips. Yoongi’s hands go to your waist, sliding under your shirt to feel the warmth of your skin. 
“How many nights did you spend in bed thinking of me?” You ask boldly, heart racing in your chest. 
“All of them,” he answers honestly as his hand moves to cup your face, bringing you to his lips. 
A needy moan escapes you when his teeth tug on your bottom lip, his other hand moving down the curve of your back to grab a handful of your ass. 
“Always thought of you. Of seeing you again. Of holding you again, kissing you. There’s not a moment I didn’t think of you. Never knew if I could ever have you,” Yoongi admits. 
“Yoongi,” you say his name breathlessly, gripping his shirt to make sure he won’t disappear this time. 
Yoongi swallows thickly as he looks up at you. He sighs heavily, pushing your hair out of your face. 
“I’m sorry I didn’t try harder. I’m sorry I let you go so easily. I never want to make you feel like that again. That weekend meant something to me. I never want you to think that it didn’t.”
Softly, you caress his cheek. Your gaze is intense as you refuse to look away from him. His hands settle on your hips, more for him than for you, needing something to anchor him. 
“After you left, in the morning he came to my room happy I’d gotten over my crush on you,” you explain, batting away the tears that form. “I don’t want to lose either of you.”
Yoongi takes your hands in his, fingers laced as he squeezes tight. “We’ll tell him about us this time. He’ll understand now.”
“You think so?” You bite your lip as you ponder what your brother’s reaction will be. You haven’t talked much since he got back in town, his impending move taking up most of his time and now his soon-to-be-fiancée.
“He will. It won’t be like last time. I swear,” Yoongi’s tone is firm, already decided. 
“Okay,” you nod, curling into his side as he kisses the top of your head. 
Yoongi holds you for a few more minutes before the two of you leave his home. He treasures the last few minutes with you before he has to keep his hands to himself for the rest of the night. 
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“Who else is coming?” You ask when Yoongi and your brother set the bags of takeout on the table. 
“Just us?” Your brother responds, puzzled. “Why?”
You wave your hand at the bags and your brother shrugs. “I’m hungry. I'm a growing boy.”
“Yeah,” Yoongi huffs laughter. “Growing to be a pain in the butt.”
“I resent that! Now sit down and let’s eat!” Your brother grins as he hands out random bags to you and Yoongi to unpack while he grabs condiments out of the fridge and some cutlery from a drawer. 
“I don’t want to hear you groaning later when you can’t find the Tums,” you roll your eyes at your brother but he laughs. 
“You don’t have to worry about me,” he says as he points to a bag on the couch. It’s red and has a zipper, resembling a school supply bag but when you take a peek inside you cackle. 
“Laugh now, brat, that’s your future,” your brother scoffs.
You look at the contents of the bag again and giggle. It’s stuffed to the brim with over-the-counter medication, most of them for your brother’s tummy troubles; Imodium, Tums, Pepto, and Gas-x.
“Yoon,” you call as you set the pouch back down on the couch after zipping it back up. “I recommend you sleep on the couch tonight.”
“Hey!” Your brother exclaims. “I’m not that bad.”
You and Yoongi share a look before you turn to your affronted brother. “You are that bad.”
Cursing, your brother ignores the two of you as he takes a bite of his taco, drowning it in lime juice and hot sauce. 
He grumbles under his breath for most of the meal while you and Yoongi exchange glances.
Thirty minutes later, the three of you are piling onto the couch. You’ve got one end and Yoongi has the other. Your brother settles on the recliner as he watches the movie he picked out. His hand has been rubbing his stomach for a few moments and his bag of goodies (as he calls it) lays open at his side. 
“I bet the little sister did it,” he says as he rocks in the recliner before fishing a Tums out of his bag. 
“Dude,” Yoongi curses. “It just started.”
“It’s not like it’s a crime,” you shrug. You’ve already seen the movie before but your brother was intrigued and nothing else sounded like a good watch while in a food coma. Besides, you did enjoy the film anyway. 
“If I fall asleep, let me know if I’m right,” he yawns as he rubs his stomach one more time. 
It’s not long until he’s snoring in the chair, drowning out the movie, and leaving you and Yoongi to secretly hold hands under a couch cushion. 
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“He’s down for the count,” Yoongi whispers as he shuts and locks your door after getting your brother up to bed. 
“Are you sure?” You ask, panicked.
Yoongi nods. “He took some melatonin and knocked out.”
You hush Yoongi, pressing your finger to his lips. You wait a moment, ignoring the heat of his lips on your skin. You’re startled when your brother’s snore rattles the home.
“Told ya,” Yoongi chuckles. You move your finger off his lips, but Yoongi wraps his hand around your wrist to plant a kiss on the sensitive skin. You watch him with a heated gaze, licking your lips when his eyes lock on yours.
It’s not long until the both of you are over each other, kissing urgently on your way to your bed. Yoongi climbs on you as your hands grip his shirt, nearly tearing it off his body in your haste.
Chuckling, Yoongi removes his shirt and tosses it on the floor. You lie beneath him, your hands roaming across his broad chest, pulling him close to kiss him again. 
A growl escapes him. He ignores the throb of his cock when he realizes you’re wearing one of the shirts you stole from him. 
“Baby,” he rasps. His low voice sounds grave as he curses, grabbing your thighs in his hands and tugging you toward him. 
“Yoongi,” you gasp, immediately covering your mouth with your hand. 
Both of you freeze, hearts thudding obscenely loudly as you wait for the tell-tale snore that comes a moment later. 
Yoongi sighs in relief as he grips your panties and rips them down your thighs. He pockets them before you can protest.  He bunches your shirt and has you bite down on it. 
“Not a sound, baby. We can’t get caught,” he says as you nod, already drooling on the shirt.
Smirking, Yoongi palms his cock as he spreads your legs with his other hand. 
“Touch yourself for me, baby. Show me how you pleasure yourself when you think of me,” he instructs as he sits on the edge of the bed. 
You bite back a moan, shyly spreading your legs as he continues to palm his cock over his shorts. His chains shine in the light of your bedroom, and you wonder what they’d feel like dragging across your heated skin as he hovers above you, filling you full of his cock. 
“Yoongi,” you breathe as your eyes meet his, and your hand moves from your breast down to the apex of your thighs. Yoongi follows the movement, cursing when your fingers land on your clit. 
You’re slow with your movements, gently rubbing your clit in circles. Pleasure courses through you. You become aware of how wet you are when you move your hand lower. 
Yoongi licks his lips as he watches you, nearly growling when you spread your fingers and your arousal coats them both generously.
Without blinking, Yoongi strips until he’s bare. His tongue peeks from between his lips as he wraps his hand around his length. He’s slow with his strokes, eyes hooded and focused on your wet cunt. 
Cursing, Yoongi feels his heart flutter when his name tumbles from your lips. Your head lolls back as you arch, your fingers sliding in and out of you faster and faster. Your legs shake, gasps spilling from your lips as you look up to see Yoongi jerking off to you.
“Is this how you touched yourself while thinking of me?” He asks with a lustful look that sends tingles down your spine.
“Only thought of you,” you whisper. “Thought of your cock filling me up, making me cum, making me cream.”
“Fuck,” Yoongi groans deeply as he moves forward, his hand grabbing the nape of your neck as he pulls you into a kiss that makes your whole body tingle with pleasure. 
Soon, his fingers replace yours. His thumb rubs your clit as his lips smother your moans. Your hands wrap around his dick, moaning as you stroke him with your wet fingers. 
“Fuck, baby. Just like that,” he encourages as he rocks his hips.
His lips mark your neck in tiny constellations that you’ll smile about later on when he takes a photo of his hand wrapped around your throat and your hickeys peeking through.
“Focus on me, love.” Yoongi pouts as his thumb adds more pressure to your clit, and you whimper. Your eyes are wide, teeth sinking into your bottom lip as your legs tremble. 
A smirk appears on Yoongi’s face. “That’s it, baby. Tell me who’s making you feel this good.”
“You,” you answer in a gasp. “Yoongi!”
Yoongi kisses you, silencing you as you cum on his delicious fingers. You moan as his tongue meets yours, your fingers threaded in his hair as you soak the sheets beneath you.
Slowly, Yoongi removes his fingers, chuckling when you groan. 
“Fuck, I can’t wait for you to fuck me.” You giggle, catching him off guard. 
He puckers his lips in surprise, cheeks pink as he brings his fingers to his lips to suck clean.
“Think you can handle it, princess?” Yoongi goads.
You nod. “I’ve thought about it a lot.”
Yoongi curses, carding his fingers through his hair as he ignores the twitch of his cock. You notice, grinning as you wrap your hand around him once more. You move until Yoongi settles between your legs, his cock head pressed to your clit as you grind against him.
“Shit, babe. If you keep doing that, I might just cum,” Yoongi admits ruefully. 
You smile devilishly as you continue, moving forward to kiss Yoongi, biting his bottom lip and tugging at it just to make him growl. 
He’s at your mercy, moaning softly as you move faster. Fuck, you’re soaking his cock, drenching every inch, and the head keeps rubbing on your clit. He’d love nothing more than to have you wrapped around him, screaming his name for the whole block to hear, but he can’t. Not yet at least. 
For now, he’ll have to settle for this. Though you don’t make it easy on him as you moan his name and sink your teeth into his shoulder to muffle another scream of his name as your thighs quiver and you cum with his head between your lips. Yoongi chuckles, licking his lips as he wraps his hand over yours on his dick. His pace is faster as he looks at your wet cunt, biting back an earth-shattering moan of your name as he cums all over your pussy and clit. 
The warmth spreads along your skin as you fall back onto the pillows with a goofy grin. Yoongi smiles, kissing your lips quickly before he kisses down your body. 
He paused at your tit, taking the hard nipple into his mouth, teeth gently tugging it before releasing it and moving to the other. Your hand grips his hair, cursing when the drag of his chains leaves goosebumps in their wake as he kisses further down your body until he’s grabbing your thighs in each of his gorgeous hands. 
With ease, Yoongi places your legs over his broad shoulders as he settles between your thighs. His mouth waters at the sight of your pussy, arousal, and his cum mixed on your mound. 
Teasingly, he licks your clit first. Slowly circling it just to watch you twitch as your hand covers your mouth to keep quiet. Yoongi smirks to himself as he repeats the action, muffling his moan in your inner thigh as he gets the first taste of your mixed pleasure. 
Nothing could ever taste as wonderful.
Yoongi’s a menace with his tongue, more so than you could have ever imagined. Your fantasies are nothing but weak interpretations of reality. His tongue licks every bit of you, cleaning up your cum and his as if his life depends on it. 
It doesn’t take him long to get you to cum one more time. 
“Come on, princess,” he encourages with a sweet coo. “Just one more for me, darling. You can do it, right?”
“Yes,” you breathe as your eyes flutter shut, your lashes kissing your cheeks. 
“Mm,” Yoongi hums. “Maybe next time it’ll be my cock instead of my tongue and fingers.”
You whine, begging him to fuck you as his fingers curl inside you, slowly pumping in and out as his lips wrap around your clit. 
“Please,” you beg. “I want your cock. Need it.”
Yoongi laughs, smiling as he swirls his tongue around your clit one more time. 
“So needy. I can’t wait to fuck you, baby. Spread you open and have you wrapped around me. Stuff you full of my cock until you can’t help but scream my name,” Yoongi states as you lose yourself in your orgasm, muffling your moans with your hand. 
Yoongi curses, licking his lips as he eats you out through your pleasure. He only slows when you tug his hair twice.
A soft kiss is pressed to your temple as he lies beside you. You’re worn out, and a little sleepy. You don’t want him to leave, but you know your brother would punch him or worse if he found Yoongi in your bedroom or even suspected it.
You’re honestly surprised you can still hear him snoring upstairs. Unaware of all that’s taken place just a floor below. 
“I wish you didn’t have to go,” you whisper as you feel him pull the covers over the two of you. 
“I know, baby.” Yoongi sighs. “I’ll stay as long as I can. It won’t always be like this.”
“Promise?” You ask softly. 
“I promise,” he assures you with a kiss to your lips.
Yoongi holds you until he’s sure you’re asleep. He wonders what it would be like to stay in bed with you all night. To wake up to your beautiful smile each day. 
The ache that follows keeps him awake until he’s sneaking out of your bedroom door, fully clothed. 
When he’s on the couch in the living room, his thoughts cloud his mind preventing him from sleeping. 
He should just tell your brother. After all, you were all adults and he knew he wanted to pursue this. He hadn’t been with anyone since you and he didn’t want to be with anyone else. Of that he was sure. 
What if he lost you and his best friend, though? Would he be able to move on?
Yoongi sighs heavily as he closes his eyes and throws his arms over them. It looks like another sleepless night for him.
What a shock.
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The next morning is busy.
Your parents are back home for breakfast. Your mother and father make food for everyone before heading to your brother’s apartment to clean it despite your brother’s protests.
“It’s clean to the landlord’s standards, not mine,” your mother states as she heads out the door with her cleaning supplies and your father behind her.
Yoongi chuckles as he leans against the counter. “She did the same thing to my place with my mom.”
“I don’t know why I tried talking her out of it. Oh, well.” Your brother shakes his head as he gets a phone call from the movers. 
Yoongi, your father, and your brother have spent most of the morning moving your brother’s boxes to the garage. Anything he deemed fragile was piled up in his car. 
Since your brother mostly lived abroad, and he was getting new furniture with Steph, he wasn’t taking too much with him. Your job was to unpack with Steph, and Yoongi’s was to help your brother unload his car and make sure your mother didn’t go overboard in her cleaning.
Your brother should be moved in by the end of the night, which meant there was no real reason for Yoongi to hang out at your place without an excuse. Yoongi had texted you assurances very early in the morning and it’s not like your brother wouldn’t laze around at your parents’ place like before, just less so.
However, that meant his place would be off-limits as well if your brother showed up unexpectedly. It didn’t matter, Yoongi would figure it out.
He promised.
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Hours later, you’re finishing up at your brother’s place. Most of his items are unpacked with his help and Steph’s. Your mom has finished cleaning to her satisfaction and headed out with your father.
Your brother bought you all lunch, and now that you were done, there was nothing else to do but leave.
“I’ll take her home,” Yoongi offers. “I have some errands to run anyway.”
“You sure?” your brother asks as he throws the trash into the trashcan. 
“Yeah, gotta get a few things at the store,” Yoongi shrugs, trying to appear nonchalant. You pull your phone out, asking Jimin to cover for you for a few hours in case your parents or brother ask.
[Jimin-bee]: whatcha gonna do?
[you]: talk
[Jimin-bee]: TALK ha! Let me know when you’re done and use condoms
You don’t reply.
“That’s fine,” you fake a yawn. “I’m tired anyway. You enjoy your first night here.”
Your brother nods, smiling as he pulls you into a hug. “Come over whenever.” 
“Sure,” you nod.
“But call first,” your brother laughs before he walks you to the door with Yoongi. You wave at Steph as you leave with Yoongi in tow. The both of you walk down the hall toward the stairs, waiting for the door to shut before Yoongi pulls you into the stairwell.
“Fuck,” you moan when your back meets the wall. Yoongi captures your lips with his. Yoongi’s hand rests on the wall right beside your head as he kisses you deeply. Your hands immediately grab fistfuls of his shirt as you kiss him back, moaning when his hips press against yours.
“You’re already hard,” you giggle as he kisses down your jaw to your neck.
“I like kissing you,” he murmurs against your skin.
“Yoongi,” you moan as he sucks on your neck, his hand going to your hip to pull you toward him. You melt under his touch, only remembering where you are when the door slams from the next floor and footsteps echo as they grow closer.
The both of you pull apart, adjusting your hair as you take Yoongi’s hand in yours and head up the stairs. His place was on the third floor, far, far away from your brother on the first floor.
You don’t make eye contact with the man who passes by you on the stairs. Yoongi smiles to himself, hiding it with his hair before he goes stoic and looks up.
“Good evening,” he says simply as you continue heading up the stairs.
“Evening,” the man responds as he takes the stairs down. 
It only takes a few more minutes before you’re in Yoongi’s apartment, pressed to the door as you kick your shoes off.
Yoongi grins as he takes his shirt off while you tug your top off. You’ve wanted him since you saw him this morning. It was hard to watch him lifting heavy boxes with his veins looking so prominent. The way he shook his long hair out of his eyes or when his hands pushed it back. Memories of last night hit you hard when you looked at his hands, remembering what his fingers felt like inside you. 
Every time he laughed, your heart fluttered, wishing more than anything you could reach for him and hold him. Just touch him without your brother or parents having a problem with you two. You doubt your parents would have anything negative to say if you and him started dating but your brother’s discontent and possible fury kept you from exposing the relationship at the moment. It wouldn’t be like this forever, though. You had hoped your brother could understand, he was older now, more mature, right?
“What are you thinking, baby?” Yoongi asks softly as he cups your face. His thumb strokes your cheek as he locks eyes with you. You lean into his touch.
“Just want everyone to know about us,” you admit in a whisper, apprehensive of his answer.
“I want that too,” you perk up at his response, eyes shining with hope. 
“You do?”
“Of course, baby. It won’t always be like this. Soon, we’ll let them all know that you’re my girl. Just a little longer,” he assures you as you lean in to kiss him, fingers laced in his long locks as he leads you to his bedroom after locking his front door.
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The next morning, you stir before you wake. Sleep clings to your eyes as you rub them, groaning when an alarm goes off.
“Ugh,” you grunt as you sit up, finally opening your eyes as Yoongi shuts the alarm off. 
“Sorry, babe. I have to work today,” he says as he kisses your cheek before getting out of bed. You grumble as you fall back onto the pillows. The shirt you took from Yoongi bunched at your hips, thighs smeared with your arousal from last night as he ate you out again and made you cum around his fingers twice.
“Don’t go,” you grumble as you roll over to face him. He chuckles as he looks over at you.
“I have to, baby. I asked for yesterday off because I knew your brother would want to hang out after graduation. Time to go make money.” Yoongi grabs his things and heads for the shower. “Wanna join?”
You kick the covers off you as you follow him into the bathroom, giggling when he opens the bathroom cabinet to show you toothbrushes, toothpaste, mouthwash, skincare, and lotions, all in bulk.
“I like to shop at the bulk stores,” he says shyly. “Easier to keep everything stocked when you work from home.”
“Cutie,” you smile, kissing his cheek before turning the shower on and stepping in. Yoongi follows you, kissing you when you’re both under the shower spray. You know this could easily turn to more if your hands wander too low and Yoongi has to clock in.
You take your time, feeling each other and sharing kisses until Yoongi gets out to grab your towel and wrap you in it before he wraps one around his waist. 
The two of you do your morning routines, and you smile to yourself when your toothbrush sits beside his own. 
Soon, you’re both dressed. Yoongi makes a pot of coffee, making it just the way you like it when a knock comes on the door.
Your eyes widen as Yoongi heads to the door, to look through the peephole.
“It’s your brother. Fuck,” he hisses.
You get out of your seat, run to the bedroom, and hide in the closet.
Yoongi looks over his shoulder to make sure you’re out of sight before he opens the door to let your brother in. He’s thankful he only had enough time to make your coffee before he came knocking. He’s not sure how he would have explained two mugs.
“Hey,” Yoongi greets him, as your brother lets himself in. “What’s up?”
“I texted you but you didn’t answer,” your brother explains as Yoongi shuts the door. 
“Sorry, I was in the shower. Just got out. I work soon,” Yoongi shrugs as he refrains from looking at the bedroom. He’s sure he’s thrown all the clothing in the hamper. He was gonna toss your clothing and his from yesterday into his washer while he worked, so you’d have something clean to go home in.
By the time he took you home, your parents should still be working, so nobody would know if you had spent the night elsewhere. 
At the moment, you were dressed in one of his shirts and sweatpants. You were going to lounge around his home until his workday ended and you had to go home for the night.
“Do you want to go get breakfast?” your brother asks Yoongi as he looks around the apartment. 
“Sorry, I can’t,” Yoongi says. “I’ve got to clock in a little earlier today.”
“Boo,” your brother laughs. 
You wish him away, wanting to leave the closet as soon as possible. Your heart is racing in your chest, and you almost wonder if they can hear it out in the living room.
“Oh, well,” your brother shrugs. “Maybe next time?”
“Yeah, sure,” Yoongi agrees as your brother walks toward the front door. He almost smiles in relief when they get to the door but your brother stops and turns on his heel at the last second.
Yoongi is confused as your brother heads for his bedroom.
“Dude!” Yoongi calls after him, palms sweating as he follows him as fast as he can, trying to keep from looking suspicious.
“My mom said our letterman jackets were in your closet. I’ll just check real quick,” Your brother explains as he beelines it for the closet. “Steph doesn’t believe I was on varsity.”
“I’ll check,” Yoongi says as he scans the room but doesn’t see you. He knows you ran into it and not the half bath in the hallway.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to barge in. I just remembered. I figured since I was already here,” Your brother looks sheepish, and apologetic as he opens the closet doors anyway and Yoongi can feel sweat beading on his brow.
Fuck.
You were fucked.
Your brother pushes a few jackets out of the way in his search, stepping in a little further as you pull your feet toward you and cover your mouth and nose to silence your breathing as much as possible.
Your brother steps on your toe, and you bite back a scream as he moves his foot and moves more clothing out of the way.
“Damn, how many clothes do you need? You have three of these shirts in three colors,” your brother laughs as he pushes them out of the way and turns to look at Yoongi.
Yoongi shrugs. 
There’s no way he won’t find you, and all he can do is take a step back to give you room to crawl out when you’re discovered.
“Ah, I see it,” your brother grins as he pushes some more thick coats out of the way and grabs his jacket. In his haste, he drops the hanger onto the floor.
When he bends down to pick it up, he makes eye contact with you. Your hand is still over your mouth, eyes wide as you look at him.
Your brother says your full name as he steps back and you crawl out of the closet before getting to your feet.
You wave weakly. “Hi.”
“What the fuck are you doing here? Why aren’t you home? Why are you wearing his clothes?” Your brother’s mind is whirling. The last thing he expected was to see you here!
“Um, you see,” you bite your lip, unsure of what to say.
“She spent the night,” Yoongi states.
Your brother whirls around to look at Yoongi, brows furrowed.
“Why?”
“Because he’s my boyfriend now,” you say sheepishly, avoiding eye contact.
“I need to sit,” your brother pulls Yoongi’s desk chair toward him and sits. His jacket falls to his feet as he inhales and exhales a few times.
“Mind telling me what’s going on with my little sister, dude?” Your brother asks his best friend. He figured you two liked each other, but what was this spending the night shit? So soon? Without even telling him first? The fuck?
“We just started dating Sunday,” Yoongi explains as he sits on the edge of his bed, now that he’s twenty percent sure your brother wasn’t gonna punch him in the face. You go sit beside Yoongi, lacing your fingers together. Your brother doesn’t miss the gesture.
“And you didn’t think to tell me first?” your brother can’t help but sound hurt. He thought the three of you were better than to keep secrets.
“We wanted to, but look at how you’re reacting,” you sigh, squeezing Yoongi’s hand. You can barely focus with your heart thundering in your ears. Your hands grow clammy in Yoongi’s hold but he says nothing as your brother shakes his head.
Here it comes.
“I’m upset!” Your brother exclaims. “You kept this from me!”
“Because you told me last time that you were glad I didn’t like Yoongi anymore! I couldn’t lose you, so I didn’t see Yoongi again until you invited him to my graduation.”
Your brother places his palms over his face, his elbows resting on his knees as he exhales. He had said that. However, that was three years ago before he knew much about love. He always wondered why you never came around when Yoongi was there, but now everything was falling into place.
If he was honest with himself, he wasn’t upset over you guys. He knew it was inevitable after your years of crushing on Yoongi, and Yoongi didn’t help himself in recent years. Maybe he would have peeped it earlier if he had noted the way Yoongi looked at photos of you. There was always something more in his gaze.
“You still should have told me,” your brother looks up, making eye contact with Yoongi and then you. “Either of you.”
“We’re sorry,” Yoongi apologizes. “We should have but we’re still taking this slow. We don’t want to make any mistakes. I can’t lose her for another three years again. The last time hurt too much,” Yoongi looks at you before looking at your brother. “It hurt us both.”
“The last time?” your brother is puzzled. He rises from his chair with his jacket in his hands. “What last time? You mean this has happened before?”
“Um, we kissed at my last graduation,” you smile wryly. “Surprise?”
Your brother runs his hand over his face. Man, all he wanted was breakfast and now he had all this information he hadn’t asked for.
“You know what, don’t tell me anymore. You guys have my blessing or whatever, not that you need it. This is fine, just be careful. Don’t hide shit from me anymore,” Your brother shakes his head as he heads for the door.
You grin, hugging Yoongi before you walk your brother to the front door.
You throw your arms around your brother and hug him tightly. “I love you.”
“I love you too, brat. No more secrets,” he reminds you as he releases you and shakes his head one last time. He steps out of the apartment and pauses, “You both owe me breakfast.”
“Will do,” Yoongi grins as he drapes his arm over your shoulder to pull you close. Your brother smiles, seeing the two of you together wasn’t as weird as he thought it would be.
It was your happiness that mattered most of all, right?
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Three weeks later, you’re back in Yoongi’s apartment after a night out on the town. You had a wonderful dinner, followed by a romantic walk by the river.
You were eager to get back to his place, kissing him at every chance you got. He had his hand on your thigh the whole drive home, smirking when he’d catch you tracing the veins and his rings.
His hair was slicked back, his chains resting on his chest and his suit fit him perfectly. He had a certain confidence that had you wanting to lick him up and down in public. Yoongi wasn’t able to keep his eyes (or hands) off you in the black dress you wore. Your back was exposed with a low dip that ended right above your lower back. He loved feeling your skin beneath his palm as you walked until you were leading him to the car.
“Take me home,” you had whispered in his ear, biting the lobe before settling in the front seat. That alone was enough to get him to half-mast.
The past few weeks, you’ve taken it slow. You were kissing and making out almost every day. Sometimes he’d fuck you with his fingers or his tongue, and sometimes you’d suck him off but you never went all the way. 
You wanted to, tonight.
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Yoongi’s hands grip your hips as your back meets the front door of his apartment. You giggle as his lips trail kisses down your jaw to your neck as your hands palm his chest on their trek to his pants pockets to fish out his keys.
“Fuck,” he curses, his breath fanning across your neck as you cup his erection.
“Oops,” you giggle as you squeeze him one more time before taking the keys out of his pocket. You hand them to him as he tries his best to get the key in the lock, but misses twice as he refuses to stop marking your neck.
“The faster you get me inside, the faster you can feel me wrapped around your cock,” you whisper as his teeth nip your skin.
“Fuck, okay. Yeah,” Yoongi breathes as he cards a hand through his hair. His thoughts are running rampant as he gets the key in the lock and turns it. He pushes the door open, grabbing your hand as he pulls you in.
You smile, kissing him as he shuts the door and presses you against it. One of his hands cups your face, and the other locks the door as he deepens the kiss.
You kick your shoes off, grunting as you trip over them. Yoongi chuckles, easily stepping out of his shoes.
A shirt here, pants there, your dress in a pool of fabric outside Yoongi’s bedroom door, and soon you’re in nothing but panties on his bed as he climbs on top of you between your legs.
Yoongi cups your cheek, his thumb caressing your skin. His dark eyes meet yours as he presses his lips to yours. 
Warmth pools in your belly as your thighs wrap around his hips to pull him closer. Yoongi moans softly as his cock presses to your panty-clad cunt. He breathes your name, trailing kisses to your neck as your fingers thread in his inky locks.
“Yoongi,” his name rolls off your tongue in a tone so sweet, he can almost taste it when you moan again.
“That’s it, love. Let me hear those moans, don’t be shy,” He encourages as he moves downward and your hands move to his shoulders for a moment before he’s kissing one breast and groping the other.
Yoongi takes his time with you, kissing and caressing every inch of your body. His lips mark your skin, his teeth nibble gently just to listen to you sigh. Your hands grip the sheets, tugging on them as he teases you.
“Yoongi,” you breathe, nearly melting into a puddle when his tongue swirls around your nipple, sucking it just to make you gasp as his large hand grips your thigh.
“Yes?” he asks with a lopsided grin. “What is it, baby?”
“Please, stop teasing me,” you plead, biting your bottom lip as his lips kiss down your body until he’s settled between your thighs. 
Yoongi smirks, his lips pressing a soft kiss to your mound. “Who’s teasing?”
“Yoongi!” 
Chuckling, Yoongi kisses your thigh as his fingertip circles your clit once. 
“Yoongi!”
He laughs, his gummy smile making you giggle. “I’ll stop teasing.”
“You promise?” you ask with a raised brow, but Yoongi doesn’t answer. Instead, he dips between your parted legs, his tongue licking your wet folds as your eyes flutter shut and you curse at the ceiling.
Yoongi doesn’t waste a second as he grabs handfuls of your thighs and pulls you closer. You squeal in surprise and laugh when he kisses your inner thigh. 
“Cutie,” he murmurs before he’s trailing kisses to the apex of your thighs. He’s slow and teasing with his tongue, listening closely to every gasp and moan that escapes your pretty lips. 
It’s not too long before your hand is gripping his thick hair, begging for more as he pushes two of his fingers inside you, curling them until you’re nearly screaming his name. 
“So fucking wet for me, princess,” Yoongi curses, licking his lips before going back to the task at hand. You curse, back arching and thighs trembling as blissful pleasure courses through your veins. 
“Yoongi! Baby!” You exclaim, thighs shaking as your breath grows ragged and your eyes squeeze shut. 
“Fuck,” Yoongi licks his lips as he watches you fall apart, pussy clenching around his fingers as his thumb rubs your clit and you cry out one last time before lying boneless on the bed. 
“Come here,” you demand when you catch your breath. 
Grinning, Yoongi kisses your clit one last time before moving beside you. 
You kiss him immediately, your hands cupping his face as he pulls you on top of him. Your legs go on either side of his hips as your wet cunt sits on his cock. 
“We should,” Yoongi kisses you. “Get a condom.”
You nod, kissing him again, your tongue meeting his as he reaches blindly on his nightstand. He chuckles, moving you off him for a moment to open the drawer, take a handful of condoms out, and set them on the nightstand within reach. 
“How many do you think we’ll need?” You ask with wide eyes.
Yoongi throws his head back and laughs, kissing your cheek when he calms down. 
“Hopefully all of them,” he smiles cheekily. “But let’s start with one for tonight.”
“Yes,” you agree as you kiss him again as Yoongi rips open the packet, tossing the wrapper on the nightstand. 
With ease, Yoongi is ready in seconds as he lies you down on the bed. He kisses you gently, his thumb stroking your cheek as he pulls away. 
His dark eyes lock on yours, and your heart flutters. 
“We can stop whenever you want to, princess. Just say the word, okay?”
“Yes,” you nod, kissing him deeply as he lines himself up at your entrance. 
You gasp when he pushes in, nails digging into his forearms as his face gets buried in your neck. 
“Fuck,” he curses as he gives you a moment to adjust. He kisses your neck, shoulders,, and cheek until you give him the go ahead to go further. 
Before too long, pleasure courses through you as you moan Yoongi’s name. 
“Fuck, love,” Yoongi nearly loses himself. You’re so warm and wet, tightening around him as he fucks into you again and again. He’s overcome with emotion as his eyes lock with yours. He never thought he’d get a second chance with you, not after he left so abruptly and there was no contact between you. He knows it’s probably too early in the relationship to say I love you, but he feels it in every fiber of his being. 
With every kiss, with every touch, with every sigh, he falls deeper and deeper in love and there’s nothing he would ever do to stop it.
You breathe his name, kissing him as he goes deeper and you fall, fall, fall into pleasure. 
This is better than you could have ever imagined. Better than all your daydreams and anything your imagination had conjured throughout the years. Love blooms in your chest as you grip his shoulder tights, your hands sliding down until your fingers lace with his. Pleasure courses through your veins, nearly consuming you.
“So big and thick,” you whisper, making Yoongi chuckle as he sucks on your neck. 
“I said that aloud didn’t I?” You feel the heat rise to your cheeks from embarrassment.
“You did,” Yoongi giggles as he kisses you again, his hips rocking into yours as your legs cling to his hips to pull him closer. 
“This is perfect,” you whisper as your body tingles and Yoongi’s fingers rub your clit. You shake, moaning as you meet each of Yoongi’s thrusts with your hips. 
“Yoongi!”
“That’s it, baby. Cum for me,” Yoongi instructs, kissing you as you tighten around him and lose yourself to the pleasure. 
Yoongi follows soon after, moaning your name in between pants before he pulls out of you. He discards the used condom quickly before lying at your side. 
“You okay?” He asks gently as he pulls you into his arms. You smile brightly, nodding. 
“Perfect,” you respond as you kiss his bare chest. “Can we do it again?”
Yoongi chuckles, shaking his head incredulously. 
“As much as you’d like, princess.”
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© jjungkookislife - I do not allow reposts or translations of my work on any platforms, including Youtube. 
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hbyrde36 · 5 months ago
Text
Inspired by this TikTok
I wrote this instead of everything else I should be working on, enjoy! 😂
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Rating: G | WC: 2494 | AO3
Eddie took a deep breath, preparing himself mentally for the night ahead as he walked up the street towards the place he was supposed to meet his blind date.
He couldn’t believe he’d agreed to this, but it wasn’t like he was having any luck finding love on his own. 
After several failed long-term relationships with fuckboys that weren’t worth his time and heartache, who ran the second things got real, he joined the apps—quickly realizing that most of the guys he found on there were only looking for sex. Which was fun and all, but Eddie wanted more. 
He was looking for romance, a spark, someone he could see spending his life with, who was also looking for a partner. Someone who wasn’t allergic to commitment. 
So, he’d quit the apps. 
And when Chrissy told him she had a guy she wanted him to meet he figured, fuck it, he’d tried everything else. 
Steve Harrington. 
He was a friend of Robin’s, Chrissy’s new girlfriend who Eddie hadn’t had the chance to meet yet, but apparently the three of them had gotten together last weekend, and now Chrissy was convinced the man and Eddie were perfect for each other. 
“On the surface it’s giving opposites attract,” she’d said, “but under the carefully styled hair and button down shirts, Steve is not at all what you’d expect. He’s kind, funny, a little weird, and way different than the guys you usually go for—but in the best way. Just give it a chance. I promise at the very least you’ll have a good time and maybe make a friend.”
Eddie wasn’t so sure that’d be the case, but he was here, willing to give it a go, and he had a trick up his sleeve. A little idea he’d stolen from a TikTok video that had, so far, a 100% success rate for exposing duds.
He reached his destination and pushed open the door, entering the warm dimly lit restaurant, and before he’d even reached the hostess stand noticed a man rising from his seat, smiling and waving—waving at him.
And oh, oh Chrissy had better count her days because Eddie was going to fucking kill her. Steve, assuming this was the guy, was quite literally the hottest man he’d ever seen in real life. 
She couldn't warn a guy?  
Eddie raised his hand, absently returning the wave as he continued to stare a little dumbstruck at his date. 
Get it together, Munson. 
Mercifully, Eddie was able to snap out of it enough to put one foot in front of the other again and make his way over to their booth.
There was an awkward moment where Steve couldn’t seem to make up his mind between shaking Eddie’s hand, or hugging him in greeting. 
Honestly Eddie wasn’t sure of the protocol either since it was his first blind date. He supposed this was to be expected. Not only were they about to embark upon the supremely awkward adventure that was every first date ever, but they were also meeting for the very first time having never seen or spoken to each other before.    
In the end it became one of those half-and-half bro hugs with the little pat on the back, before they took their seats opposite one another. 
Steve was the first to break the silence. “It’s good to meet you, Chrissy told me a lot about you.” 
“Wish I could say the same.” Eddie muttered under his breath. 
“Oh, um.”
“Sorry, it’s—I didn’t mean,” Eddie shook his head at himself. “Ignore me.”
“No, I'm sorry.” Steve raked a hand over his face. “It’s weird right? This is weird. I tried to tell Robin—I mean, who even goes on blind dates anymore!”
It surprised a laugh out of Eddie that he couldn’t have held back if he tried. He quickly slapped a hand over his mouth, but it was too late. 
Great job, Munson, laugh at the guy—great way to make a first impression. 
But then Steve was cracking a little lopsided smile, the corners of his eyes crinkling ever-so-slightly with it. He didn’t seem offended, or mad. 
Fuck. 
He wasn’t just dangerously hot, he was cute too. 
Eddie tugged lightly on his shirt collar, and cleared his throat. “It’s a little weird, sure, but that doesn’t mean it’s bad.”
Their server chose that moment to arrive and introduce herself, taking their drink order—some local craft beer Eddie had never heard of for Steve, a Jack and coke for himself—and Eddie used the temporary distraction to try and regain some composure. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t already hoping this would go somewhere, that Steve would be different from all the others.
But when the server had gone and it was just the two of them again, Steve opened his mouth and Eddie instantly flashed back to every bad first date he’d been on.
“So, what’s your favorite—”
Steve hadn’t even finished asking his first question before Eddie was interrupting, raising a hand to tick off each response on his fingers as he went.
“Black, metal, D&D, the 1999 cinematic masterpiece The Mummy starring our lord and savior Brendan Fraser, The Silmarillion, cheeseburgers, Halloween, aaaaand—a dog.”
Steve blinked at him. “...What?”
“My favorite color, genre of music, hobby, movie, book, food, holiday, and of course the classic—if I could be any animal, what animal would I be and why?” 
Eddie let his hand fall to the table with a soft thud. “Dog—hands down. And I know I look more like someone who’d say black cat or something like that, but I enjoy attention and physical affection far too much to be an aloof feline. Shaggy lovable mutt seems way more my speed.”
By the end of his speech, Steve was grinning from ear to ear, nodding in understanding.
Eddie gave half a shrug, blushing a bit under the full force of Steve’s dazzling smile. “Thought I'd save us some time and speed-run the same old, same old.”
A moment later their drinks arrived and they both sat up a little straighter reflexively as the server set each glass down on cocktail napkins in front of them before scurrying off. 
They’d been leaning in towards each other without even realizing, it seemed. It was Steve’s turn to blush now, Eddie noted with delight as he raised his glass to his lips, grateful to have something to do with his hands.
“I take it you’ve been on a lot of first dates?” Steve asked, taking a long sip from his own drink.
“A few.” Eddie said, tilting his cup to swirl the ice around. “You?”
Steve made a waffling motion with his head. “A few.” 
Eddie took another sizable swig from his glass, focusing for a moment on the burn of the whiskey and the tingle of soda bubbles in his throat as he swallowed, and carefully set his cup down on the table between them. It was almost empty already—should have asked for a double. 
“Okay, my turn, “ he said.
Steve raised an eyebrow. “You wanna know my favorite color?”
“No, there’ll be plenty of time to find that out later.”
“Presumptuous of you.”
Eddie hummed noncommittally. “More… hopeful.”
Steve let out a breathy laugh. “Alright, what do you want to know?”
Here goes nothing—
“What would you do if we moved in together and I started seeing ghosts and told you that our house was haunted?”
Steve tilted his head to the side, giving Eddie that soft crooked smile again, and damn if it wasn’t becoming one of Eddie’s favorite things. Can you be obsessed with something you’ve only seen twice?
Steve was quiet for a long moment, nearly draining his beer as he thought it over, but eventually set his own drink down beside Eddie’s and looked him dead in the eye. “Is it a nice ghost or a scary ghost? Are we talking banging on walls and rearranging furniture at 3am? Or a cold yet comforting presence in the corner.” 
Eddie put on a show of thinking about it, rubbing his chin and staring off into space as he tried desperately to contain his excitement. He’d never had the question go over this well before. 
Then their server was back, asking if they wanted another round—yes, of course—and if they were ready to order. They hadn’t even cracked open their menus yet, too distracted with talking. 
“Do you know what you want?” Steve asked him.
Eddie swallowed hard. 
You.
“I-I’m not picky. Order for me? Chrissy said you come here a lot so I’m sure you know what’s good.”
Without hesitation Steve ordered them a burger each, and a plate of some sort of fancy fries to share, apparently they had the best fries. 
It hadn’t been another test, honest. Eddie really didn’t care what he ate, this was already turning out to be his best date in far too long—and It could have been a coincidence, maybe Steve ordered burgers there all the time, but Eddie chose to believe it meant Steve had been listening. Test or not, he’d passed with flying colors.
When they were alone again Eddie smoothed his hands along the table, drawing invisible patterns with his fingers and finally answered Steve’s question. 
“Let’s go with scary ghost, but remember you have no proof, you haven't seen it with your own eyes, just my word.”
Steve waved him off as if that was inconsequential, upending his glass to get the last dregs of the beer, and wiping his lips on the back of his hand.
“Okay, well then it depends on how hands on you want to be. We could consult WitchTok, try and cleanse the house ourselves, ask the spirit to leave, that kinda thing. Or maybe find a priest who’d be willing to help us out? That might be a little more difficult since the church isn’t usually our biggest fans, but I could deal with a little homophobia to make sure you were happy and comfortable in our home.”
Eddie’s stomach flipped, heart beginning to race. He wasn’t surprised exactly, Steve had been blowing past his expectations at every turn already, but there was no more perfect answer to his admittedly insane first date question.
So naturally, he had to push. 
“What if I wanted to move?”
Steve shrugged. “Then we’d move.” 
Eddie stared at him incredulously. Steve said it like it was nothing, like uprooting his entire life for some crazy shit was akin to changing his socks. This was all hypothetical, Eddie knew that, and Steve could just be telling him what he wanted to hear, but Eddie had a feeling he was telling the absolute truth
“But we’d be out, at minimum, a month’s rent and security deposit, and what if the landlord won’t let us out of the lease?!” Eddie threw his hands up, suddenly taking his own game much too seriously. “Or godforbid we’d bought the place, then we’d have to sell it and all our money would be tied up in it, and—”
Steve reached out and took Eddie’s hands with his own, gently stroking his thumbs along the back of them. “Baby—baby it’s okay. No amount of money would be worth you feeling unsafe.”
And Eddie was simply going to pass away, because what the fuck—how was this man so perfect?
“Why—how are you single?”
Steve flashed a sad, self deprecating smile. “I’ve been told I can be a little… intense.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“Well, historically speaking…”
Eddie leaned over the table, pressing a kiss to the back of Steve’s hand. “I happen to like intense.”
Steve sucked in a breath, cheeks flushing again with the most glorious shade of pink. “Good to know.”
They stayed hand in hand talking for a long time, taking turns asking each other the most random questions they could think of. 
“Favorite episode of The Twilight Zone?” Eddie asked. 
“Oh, easy. I don’t know the name of it but it’s the one where the kid is lost and her parents can hear her in the house panicking, but they can’t see her?” 
Eddie nodded his approval. “Little Girl Lost, good choice.” God he was falling more in love by the second. 
“Favorite Abba song.” Steve countered. 
Eddie grinned. “How do you know I even have one? Mean scary metalhead like me.”
Steve rolled his eyes, and shot him a look that clearly stated he found Eddie neither mean or scary. “Everybody likes Abba.”
“Well played.” Eddie bit at his bottom lip. He felt like a teenager with his first crush all over again. “Fine—while Dancing Queen holds a special place in my heart, and maybe this makes me a gay cliche, but Gimme, Gimme, Gimme fucking slaps.” 
It went on and on like that until eventually their food arrived, forcing them to separate. They still spoke as they finished their meal, and settled their tab, but Eddie missed the warmth of Steve’s hand in his already. 
He suddenly understood why some couples chose to sit together on the same side of a booth. He’d happily look like a dork right now to have the opportunity to be pressed up against Steve’s side, to be able to slide a hand along his thigh and maybe—
“Eddie?” 
Steve’s slightly raised voice found him in his daydream, snapping him out of it abruptly. 
“Wha..?”
“Did I lose you there for a second?” Steve asked, a knowing smile playing on his lips.
Eddie rubbed at the back of his neck nervously. “Yeah, sorry, um—you were saying?”
“I said, I'm having a really good time, and I know we already paid the bill but I really don’t want this night to end, so—” Steve slid out of his seat and moved to stand in front of him, holding a hand out—which Eddie took immediately, of course, and let Steve pull him to his feet. 
“I was wondering if you’d want to take this back to my apartment? Y’know, so we can plan a second date?” He finished with a smirk.
Jesus Christ. 
Warmth shot through Eddie’s body at the implications but he found his heart skipping a beat too, because as much as Steve was teasing, Eddie knew somehow that he meant it about the second date. 
He couldn’t believe his luck, Steve was everything Chrissy had made him out to be, and so much more. He was going to send her the biggest bouquet of flowers tomorrow, and maybe an edible arrangement. Were those still a thing?
Eddie leaned in, letting his lips brush along the shell of Steve’s ear as he spoke. “It’s not haunted, is it?” 
Steve shivered, wrapping his arms around Eddie’s shoulders and pulling their bodies flush. “No, but if you’re interested I can think of a few other ways to make you scream.”
Thanks as always to the lovely @penny00dreadful for everything😘😘😘
Permanent taglist(open): @penny00dreadful @pearynice @hitlikehammers @bookworm0690 @wonderland-girl143-blog 
@goodolefashionedloverboi @themagicalari
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777gojosgf · 4 months ago
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THE SMALLEST MAN WHO EVER LIVED
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777GOJOSGF IS TYPING…
777gojosgf: reader x ex!satorugojo
IN WHERE :: satoru gojo is indeed the smallest man who ever lived who has fucked it up with you beyond repair.
a/n: this hurts ANGST very ooc!satoru but i just wanted to write something like this for a while. and umm welcome back to me i guess…
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ONE THING ABOUT YOU is that you didn’t like to give a show. no, instead you were always thinking about others and how they would feel if you were to say something. additionally you hated confrontation and especially those joined by others. it just wasn’t your style and added upon the anxiety you already felt on the daily basis due to the rocky situation you had with satoru.
you hadn’t asked him where he had been for the past week because you didn’t want to know. even though deep inside you knew that you knew enough.
there was no denying that he cheated on you with your best friend.
and perhaps that should have hurt you the most, the fact that he threw away a four year relationship just because he gave in to his desire. but it was the disrespect that hurt you the most. where did he get the nerve to treat you like that? you hadn’t done anything but love him truly for who he was and the smile he brought upon your face every single day. but you were afraid that those days had officially come to an end.
sometimes good things don’t last.
ever since shoko told you the news, you weren’t sure how to go about it. if you would wait until the both of you were back in the apartment you shared. where the memories and promises you had created with each other haunted the very same hallway where you broke down after seeing the photos of him and your best friend.
good riddance.
you whispered to yourself. good riddance.
but why was it so hard to believe?
and so, you hadn’t realized where your feet had brought you until you had found yourself on the grounds of jujutsu high. the anger that resumed inside of you made it seem as if there was a curse of a special grade roaming the area and the students knew better than to ask how you were doing. in fact, you looked terrifying.
your vision turned red and the only thing you could focus on was the terrible heartache that screamed for vengeance and an explanation.
for so far he was able to give you one.
the sound of the main door slamming in the teacher’s lounge echoed through the entire building, but unluckily for him his friends were there too.
but you didn’t care. not anymore.
because you have cared, you have been caring for years and apparently it didn’t mean shit.
the white haired male leaned against the wall as he watched you walk up to him, and some would say that he begged the gods above that he would make it out alive.
“baby—“ he started, reaching out to touch you like he always used to do but when you stood still in your tracks and flinched away from him…
he knew.
“am i a joke to you?” your question that desperately demanded an answer only made the entire room go quieter than it was before. the tension wavered through the air and he didn’t know what to say. perhaps because he didn’t expect you to ask him that out of all the things you could have.
why did you cheat? did you cheat?
but instead of that, you asked him if you were a joke to him.
“what do you mean? maybe we shouldn’t do this here—“ he once again miserably failed at trying to start his explanation because you took a step forward and all the words evaporated from his mouth while his vocal chords estranged. he didn’t dare to say a word.
“are you fucking kidding me, satoru? are you embarrassed that everyone is watching? because you didn’t care that you would embarrass me after fucking my friend, did you?”
you felt tears prickling in your eyes but not because you were sad. no, those tears had spilled in your apartment. instead, these were tears made out of pure anger. formed deep inside from the quiet resentment of him that you had tried to ignore and endure for days.
your hands trembled, “did you think i wouldn’t find out? do you believe i’m an idiot, is that all that i am to you? a pushover, a people pleaser?”
he didn’t say anything. there were tears streaming down his face as he knew that he had lost the one thing that mattered to him. four years of someone who loved him for who he was, and not for who he had to be.
someone who would have died for his sins.
and he threw it all away.
he knew that he couldn’t say anything that would change this and the way you felt, instead he was afraid that he would only ruin it. so he decided to take it.
“answer me.”
that made him snap out of his trance and he shake his head, stepping forward and meeting your eyes that were so full of fury he started to wonder if you weren’t a stranger.
“i fucked up, okay? i know that i did, and i cannot change anything that i did. and i know that it wasn’t right.” satoru muttered defeated.
but the only thing he heard was your laugh. it wasn’t a laugh he recognized. and it certainly wasn’t the one you let out the times before the two of you would go to bed but not before he made you laugh.
and at that same exact moment the two of you wondered the same thing.
do i know you at all?
but only one had the right to ask that question, of course.
“is that all you have to say for yourself? you can’t even apologize? because i have tried to figure out why you did what you did and if it was my fucking fault, satoru. after everything, i wondered if it was my fault. and i cannot believe-“ a sob made its way through your words and it was hard to keep the tears in now, but you had to. “i can’t believe this.”
“and i cannot grasp why you would. you deserve fucking prison for the way you have treated me these past weeks, making me wonder if i was the problem as to why you would ignore me in our apartment. ours! and i so desperately hate you for it.”
he leaned to touch your cheek, his hand rising and caressing it softly and you hated it that you let him.
“y/n, please. i can’t lose you. i am so sorry for what i did, but i can live with you hating me. i just can’t live without you.” his words embedded your skin and trailed up to your brain, almost planting it seeds and giving into his words,
but you had grown and knew better.
“maybe you should have decided that before you decided to throw this all away. i’m sure you have had a good laugh too considering the way you kicked the fucking stage lights. but you’re still performing, aren’t you? i would have given up my life for you every time. any fucking time. and while i was making promises and thinking about what the future upholds for us, you were busy giving into your desires.” your breathing had surprisingly calmed and the rational version of you had finally asserted itself into your veins as you wiped away the tears from your face and took three steps back.
“tell me. was it all worth it? was she good?”
what?
satoru couldn’t decide whether you actually asked him that or if his imagination was having its own little fun with him. but no, you truly asked him.
“baby don’t say stuff like that you know—“
“if you ever call me that again i will spoon the fucking six eyes out of you. now, tell me.”
fortunately the white haired male was wiser than to answer that question so he remained silent. his tears made its work onto his shirt and the crystal blue eyes that you had longed for since you laid eyes upon them, were now vibrant red.
you knew that he was feeling the same heartache like you were. the only difference however was that you were glad that he was.
“fine.“
and with that, you turned around to walk away.
but not before you stopped, turned around and threw the one thing that had mattered.
he caught the engagement ring mid-air that was a gojo family heirloom.
satoru swore that he loved you but the clues weren’t to be found.
perhaps you died dead at the altar.
“i’m leaving tonight.” you announced but it fell upon deaf ears and you let out a sigh before making your way back to the shared apartment leaving satoru behind at jujutsu high.
literally and figuratively.
after moving out the same exact day, having only taken a few personal belongings, you immediately booked the first flight out of tokyo.
that was the last time you ever saw him again.
©777gojosgf
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sanjoongie · 4 months ago
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𝞣Ꮒ𝗲 ԍаm𝖊𝑠 𝗪℮ 𝞠𝒍𝑎𝑦
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➸Pairing: Villain! Han Jisung x Hostage! Reader (f) 
➸Genre: smut
➸Au: hero/villain au
➸Trope: s2l
➸Word Count: 1,736
➸Warnings: dom! Jisung, sub! Reader, roleplaying (everything is consensual, they play the role of villain/hostage because it thrills them both), nicknames (little bird), bdsm (tied up), usage of fuck machine, degradation, rimming, aftercare (for sub and dom), soft sex, creampie
➸Rated: 18+ MDNI
➸Summary: when getting kidnapped by a villain turns into something much more sexier and healthier, you don’t really have a reason to complain
➸Beta: @flurrys-creativity
➸A/N: credits to @anyamaris for helping expand on this plot bunny and encouraging me to write more skz 🥺
➸divider by @cafekitsune
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At this point, you might as well have forgotten that you were a hostage and Jisung the one who had kidnapped you. In a not-so-elaborate plot to get an all-powerful tool to take over the world, Jisung had kidnapped you to lure the hero to his hideout. What had started as a simple hostage situation, had quickly turned into something entirely different.
Jisung used his signature cane to slowly pull your panties to the side, revealing just how dripping wet your cunt was for him. He smirked, eyes never leaving your pussy. “What’s this, kitten?”
You whined and squirmed. Somehow, Jisung had acquired a gyno’s chair and strapped you to it. With your feet in the stirrups, your legs were spread and restricted so you couldn't close them. “That’s for Chan, don’t look.”
Jisung’s eyes darkened at the mention of the hero. “For Chan, hmmm?” He hummed. He turned the inside of your panties to lick the slick off there. “Cum meant for someone else always tastes better.”
Your body flushed with the forbidden and shame. Chan wasn’t coming for you. That had been apparent after a few weeks. In fact, after Jisung even came to this conclusion, he let you go. But the heartache of realizing that Chan would not have saved you; that he cared more for the world than you, broke something in you. You had become extremely attached to the man who had kidnapped you, and he you. You knew your worth with the villain Han Jisung.
So now you played out a little scenario, in the deep dark recesses of Jisung’s hideout. One the both of you enjoyed fully. To stop, it would simply take your safe word and then Jisung would unstrap you and cradle you in his arms. But until that moment happened, the scene was on.
Jisung licked his upper lip slowly, savoring the taste of you on the tip of his tongue. “Now, are we going to play this the easy way or the hard way?”
You turned your head stubbornly, playing the role of the hostage unwilling to betray her hero. “I’ll give you nothing.”
Jisung clucked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. “That’s too bad.”
He stood up from his stool and maneovered a fuck machine towards your lower half to replace him. You swallowed loudly as you saw what you were up against. 
“I think this will suffice to get you to sing, my little bird,” Jisung cooed.
You pretended to struggle in your restraints, but if you were being honest, you were getting wet in anticipation for what was to come. “It won’t work!” You insisted. 
Jisung stood behind the machine on wheels, pushing the thick dildo attached to it closer and closer to your glistening pussy. An evil smile pulled up a corner of his lips. “Open wide, little bird.”
You let out a high whine as the dildo pushed past your pussy lips and into you by a fraction. The ‘head’ of the dildo rested there, waiting until the machine was turned on. Jisung’s tongue was caught between his lips in concentration, making sure you were set up perfectly. “Is that enough lube for you? Do you need more? It’s going to be a while.”
You shook your head. “I don’t need anything from you, villain,” you snarled half-heartedly. 
Jisung moved away from the setup, meandering to a chair he had ready to view your ‘torture’. He put his cane to the side and steepled his fingers to watch the action. “You know what to say to make this stop,” Jisung reminded you of your safeword. It was also programmed into the fuck machine to stop if you so much as uttered it. 
You braced yourself for what was about to go down. You tried not to wriggle your lower body in excitement. “Do your worst. Chan will save me in no time. I’ll give you nothing.”
Gripping the head of his cane, Jisung clicked on the button at the top and the machine began to move slowly. You laid your head back and groaned as the dildo pushed in and out at a low pace. It was thick and it was curved, so even though it was slow, the tip was dragging against your g-spot and making you feel good almost immediately. 
“Fu-fuck you,” You gasped. 
“I’d love to, little bird, but you’ll have to ask nicely,” Jisung said in a sing-song voice. 
You bit down on your lip to muffle your noises. You were barely getting fucked at low pace but the entire scenario flat did it for you. You came in no time and you felt your shame from head to toe.
Jisung giggled. “That easy to get off, huh?” The fuck machine stopped without a prompt from you. Jisung wasn’t interested in overstimulating you, he simply wanted you to come as many times as possible. 
“I was imagining Chan, so yeah, it’s that easy,” You retorted.
Jisung’s eyes narrowed, not impressed with your comeback at all. “A different position then, I think.”
Jisung fondly rubbed your wrists, ankles and legs as he undid the bindings that had held you in place. He dipped down to share a kiss with you on your lips but you turned your head so that his lips hit your cheek. Jisung clucked his tongue again. “Stubborn little bird.”
This time you were face down, ass up. Your arms were bound at the small of your back. Your feet were bent under you. Once the dildo was pushed inside of you again, you whimpered softly. Somehow taking it from behind from a fuck machine made everything a little bit more dirty. Not to mention the angle made you feel a little bit more of the dildo inside of you.
“I won’t be so nice to you now, little bird,” Jisung muttered softly. “We’ll go at a faster speed and hear you really sing. You know how much I enjoy your nonsensical babble when you’re getting fucked good.”
Once, Jisung had finger fucked you while you were sitting on his lap in his office where he did most of his diabolical planning, to the scenario that you were on a hostage call with Bang Chan. You had become a mess under his fingers and you both had loved every moment of it. You could tell no one of the soft after care Jisung gave you, cleaning up your messy cunt and tears, but it was also one of your favorite memories with him. 
Jisung turned on the fuck machine and you descended into pleasure. “Hnnnnnnn,” you moaned as the dildo moved in and out of you at the pace you usually preferred getting fucked. 
Jisung stood by you this time, a little to your right. “Is the machine fucking you good, little bird?”
“Sungie,” You whimpered, breaking the scene. “ ‘s so good.”
Jisung felt a little thrill run through his body at the pet name. He adored you, truth be told, and he loved giving you exactly what you wanted which also happened to align with his own kinks. 
“You’re folding like a stack of cards,” Jisung murmured. “Should I send you over the edge?”
Jisung paused, his heart beating against his chest, threatening to leave, waiting for your go ahead to give you even more pleasure.
“Do you worst, villain,” You said weakly, barely getting back into the scene. That was your green light for Jisung.
Jisung pulled apart your ass cheeks, careful of the dildo moving in and out of your cunt. He then licked your puckered hole and you moaned so loudly, his dick throbbed in his pants. He continued to lick the sensitive nerves, poking his tongue slowly into you, only adding to the stimulation your lower half was receiving. 
“Jisung,” You groaned. 
“How come you always want more from me, little bird, hmmm?” Jisung mused out loud. “You are insatiable for me, aren’t you? I bet you don’t debase yourself like this for Bang Chan. I bet you let yourself loose because you’re with me. Is it because it’s okay to be dirty with a villain? Or is it that you truly feel safe to let your dirty side out with me?”
When you didn’t respond, your mind half gone to the lust, Jisung upped the speed of the fuck machine. The pace sent you over the edge, coming so loudly that Jisung started to grind into the side of the gyno chair, needing some type of relief. You whined because you were coming down from your high, so Jisung turned the machine off. 
You barely registered Jisung untying you from everything, but once he had you cradled in his arms, you snuggled into the warmth he provided. “Sungie,” you called out to him.
“Was it okay, love?” Jisung checked in. 
You opened your eyes and saw that the villain had been tucked away and Han Jisung, with his inquisitive brown eyes, was staring back at you. He needed reassurance that everything went according to your wants and desires. “Jisungie, you did so wonderfully. That was exactly what I wanted.”
Jisung spent the next hour paying loving attention to your body. He washed you in a tub, allowing his fingers to skim every part of you, to make sure you were taken care of. The process also allowed Jisung to come down from his dominant persona, and to slip into something more warm and caring. 
You were donned in a fluffy, terrycloth robe and Jisung took you to his bed. He always did love how soft your skin felt after washing you, juxtaposed with the marks his restraints left on your peach-bruised skin. After laying you down on his dark bed, he undid the robe and licked his lips at your body being framed by the garment.
“Now I get to have you, right?” Jisung asked. “You’ll let me make love to you, right?”
“ ‘course, Jisungie,” You agreed, happy and tired, but not the least bit satisfied.
And so, with his arms wrapped around you, Jisung made love to you while laying sideways on the bed. He murmured words of love and affection, kissing your shoulder softly, as he thrusted inside of you. You came quietly, convulsing around Jisung’s cock. 
Jisung wasn’t so lucky. He came loudly; a groan full of gusto and a nose scrunch. He had not donned a condom, so he creampied you gladly. 
“Jisung,” You whined. “You’re leaking out of me!”
“ ‘s okay,” Jisung reassured you, slurring from his orgasm. “I’ll clean you up all over again.”
You fell asleep with a smile on your face. Best thing that ever happened to you was being kidnapped by a villain.
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sunofpandora · 5 months ago
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Sabaism
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Neteyam x Na’vi!Omaticaya!Reader
Warnings:
Kinda smut????/Neteyam is puthy whipped/ mentions of worshipping one’s body/mention of death/ heavy sexualized and non sexualized devotion/ mentions of fingering/ mentions of eating out/ (munch neteyam) man on his knees.
Word count: 504
╭──────────· ✧𓆩🤍𓆪 · ╭──────────·
“Please”
His azure skin is slick with sweat, sugared with a sickeningly sweet ecstasy.
Your gaze remains obstinate. He melts under the hearth of your hands, stroking down the base of his throat, tracing a line to his chest.
“Please, Y/n.”
It’s so pathetic. It’s so fucking pathetic.
How he begs. How he squirms. How you held him hostage under those honeycombed colored eyes of yours. How the haze of his heartache seeped down his back like varicose vines entangled at the hollowed dip of his rib cage. His vision clouds like a nebulae. A kaleidoscope drowned in amber essence.
Your legs were thrown over his shoulders. You sat on a rock, elevating you above him, where his head rested on your thigh.
You had been pleasuring yourself for eywa knows how long now. It must have been hours since you made him sit and watch you replace what you knew he could give you using your fingers, waiting for him to reach his breaking point.
And god, was it glorious.
His fingers tugged at the waistband of your loincloth.
“Please, Y/n. Please. I’m begging you, yawne.”
He was a mess, you clicked your tounge, sighing pitifully was you ran a hand through his braids.
“I know baby…I know..”
You cooed, lifting his chin up to look at you.
“You need me?”
“More than I need fucking oxygen.”
He murmured, feverishly kissing the sweet homage of a space between your thighs.
He audibly groaned at the soft skin under his lips, softly biting at it.
“How are you even real?”
He whispered, his eyes, the depths of those golden shades shadowed into shards of endless slow burning.
To him, the mere sound of your voice tasted like fire and whiskey and sickeningly sweet sensations he’d burn and brand and cut and carve into his mind a thousand times if it meant you would allow him to have you. Even once.
“One chance. That’s all I ask.”
He whispered, kissing your palms.
You dragged your thumb down his cheek.
And as the moonlight bathed your delicately contoured curves in the moonlight, he damned himself for ever thinking you weren’t everything.
“I see you everywhere. In the water, in the sky, in the stars…in my dreams, in my head, you never fucking leave my head-“
He was panting now, practically shaking.
“Loving you might kill me.”
“I’d welcome it.”
You scoffed. Eywa, he had no idea what he was getting himself into.
“You’d die for me?”
“I’m already living for you. What difference does it make?”
You stilled, he ran his hands up the dips of your hips, tracing every crevice and cove and scar and stripe.
“Y/n. You hold my entire soul in the palm of your hand. How could you for one moment ever think I wouldn’t leave this world for you.
I wouldn’t want to leave it without having sex with you though, if that’s alright.”
“It’s alright.”
You whispered, kissing his head.
And as the knots on your loincloth slowly slipped out of their secured shape, you saw stars
-sunofpandora - Neteyam snippet 🌑🪻
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scoonsalicious · 7 months ago
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Unsatisfied, Pt. 1
Pairing: Bucky x Avenger!Fem!Reader
Summary: Following the epilogue to Unwanted, you and Bucky finally have your first night together in your new apartment. You haven't had sex with him in an entire year. You are feeling... unsatisfied.
Warnings: Language, adult themes, mentions of past trauma, Pocket has a panic attack, she is not as okay as I thought, Cards Against Humanity, Bucky making dirty promises I fully intend for him to keep.
Word Count: 2k
A/N: My goal tonight was to work on WFLT. I had good intentions, I swear. But, I can't get Bucky and Pocket out of my mind. THEN, this was supposed to be smut. Pure, filthy smut. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!
You loved your found family, you really did. Or, at least that’s what you kept reminding yourself as you actively tried to convince yourself not to kill them right this second.
You made eye contact with Bucky from where he sat on the loveseat across the living room from you, looking about as sexually frustrated as you felt. You ran a finger delicately along your collarbone as you watched him adjust himself in his seat, and as he ran his tongue over his bottom lip, you–
“Hey, Kiddo,” Tony Stark called your attention to where he sat to the left of you. “Pick a Black Card. It’s your turn.”
Reluctantly, you drew your eyes away from your ridiculously attractive boyfriend and up to your psuedo-brother, former boss, who thought it had been a fantastic idea to have your entire team show up with pizzas to your brand new apartment, on your very first night there with Bucky, in order to play fucking Cards Against Humanity as a “morale-boosting exercise.” 
Cock-blocking exercise was more like it. 
You shot Tony a glare and reached across the coffee table to draw a card. Looking at it, you rolled your eyes in frustration before placing it face-up in front of you. “What gets me wet?” you read aloud from the card.
You were met with a room full of snickering as your teammates thumbed through their hands, searching for the best card to give to you. Bucky threw down a card almost immediately, catching your eye as he did so and winking at you. God, you needed everyone to leave so you could climb that man like a tree. 
One by one, your team deposited their White Cards into a pile in front of you, and once everyone had played their hand, you picked them up, shuffling them around so you wouldn’t know who had put down what card. 
You turned each over and read it aloud, asking each time: “What gets me wet?”
“Being a mother fucking sorcerer; Vehicular manslaughter; German Dungeon Porn; My fuckslave, Regianald; Auschwitz– ew; come on guys, really?-- My vagina– okay, actually factual– Dick Fingers; A juicy little booty that goes poot poot pooty; The Biggest, Blackest Dick– hilarious, Sam…”
“What?! You can’t know that’s mine, Baby Girl!” You shot Sam a knowing look. “Yeah, okay, it’s mine, but come on– it’s a good one!” he said with a laugh.
And then, there it was, the winner. You looked up and locked eyes with Bucky, who was smirking back at you with a wicked glint in his eye, and you knew instantly it was his card you were holding in your hand. 
Flipping the card over, you read out loud with a giant smile on your face: “What gets me wet? Genetically engineered super soldiers.” Everyone around the coffee table groaned, knowing that there was no way any of their cards would have topped that. Not for you, anyway.
With a grin, Bucky reached over and took the Black Card, adding it to the pile of his wins in front of him. 
“Ugh, no fair!” Nat pouted, gently tossing her hand of cards on the top of the coffee table. 
“You gotta play to your audience, Nat,” Bucky said, spreading his legs as he leaned back on the love seat. “Can’t help it if I know what my girl likes.”
“Yeah, well, I think you’re cheating,” Sam said. His words were meant to be playful, a sore-loser’s teasing lament, but you couldn’t help the rush of heartache those little syllables sent through your system, and your body froze. 
It had been almost a year, you thought to yourself as you tried to breathe through your increasing anxiety without attracting unnecessary attention. A year of therapy and rebuilding trust. You were meant to be over this.
But clearly you weren’t. 
“Excuse me,” you blurted out as you stood up, not bothering to offer an excuse for your rudeness or sudden departure. Trying to keep your breathing steady, you nearly sprinted out of the room and up the stairs until you were shutting the door of the ensuite bath in yours and Bucky’s master bedroom. The room you hadn’t even shared together yet, and now, on your first night in your new home, when you should be celebrating, becoming reacquainted with one another’s bodies, it would be permeated with thoughts of her.
You slid down the door to the cold tile floor, your breath coming in ragged gasps as you tried to shake the memories from your mind’s eye. But they, and your tears, began to fall in earnest. Despite what you knew to be true– that Bucky loved you, had only ever loved you, your mind kept bringing you back to the events of last year– of all the times he abandoned you for her, left you alone when she needed him. The things he had said to you while he was inside of you because she had told him she liked it. The sight of her riding his dick in a derelict safehouse in Russia. Your bones snapping and a bullet ripping through your flesh.
You couldn’t breathe. God, why couldn’t you breathe?
You shoved your fist into your mouth, trying to muffle the sound of your sobs. You were supposed to be over this, you kept reminding yourself. You were supposed to have forgiven him. But the memories brought about a visceral reaction you hadn’t experienced in months. Today had been meant to be a new beginning for the both of you, a fresh start. Something better, you had promised each other.
Why did it still hurt so much? 
You weren’t sure how much time had passed. You could have been hyperventilating on the bathroom floor for minutes or hours; you couldn’t tell, when a soft knock reverberated through the surface of the door.
“Sweetheart?” Bucky’s voice was muffled through the wood. “Doll, I can hear you crying. Let me in.” His words were soft, understanding, sorrowful. He knew.
You couldn’t move. You wanted to open the door, to lose yourself in his embrace so badly, but you couldn’t control your body enough to coordinate movement. All you could do was hug yourself as you sobbed.
“Pocket,” you heard Bucky murmur through the door. “Baby, I need you to breathe for me, ok? Your gonna make yourself pass out. Just… just unlock the door, alright? That’s all you have to do for me, sweets. Just unlock the door.”
Unlock the door. You could do that. One, simple motion. You slowly lifted a trembling hand above your head, connecting with the doorknob by sense of touch, alone. With shaking fingers, you managed to disengage the lock.
At the sound of the click, you heard Bucky exhale in relief. “Okay. Good girl. I’m gonna come in now, okay, sweets?” You knew you should move– you were still curled up in front of the door, but you couldn’t get your body to cooperate. You tried to speak, but the only sound that came from your throat was another agonizing sob.
You heard the knob turn and the door begin to press against you. With gentle but steady pressure, Bucky opened the door, sliding your body across the bathroom tile in the process, but you barely noticed. He would always be a force that had the ability to move you at his will.
When there was enough space for him to fit his body through the door frame, Bucky squeezed himself in and turned to look behind the door, searching for you.
“Oh, sweetheart,” he said, dropping down to his knees to join you on the tile. In an instant, he had you in his arms, picking you up and cradling you to his chest. 
“I-I-I’m…” you stuttered, trying to form words through your sobs, “s–s–so s-s-sorry.”
Bucky tutted as he stroked your hair. “No, sweets, no. I’m the one who’s sorry.” He kissed the top of your head, and you found that your breathing began to steady in his presence. “My actions keep causing you pain.”
You shook your head vehemently, clutching to the fabric of his shirt as if your very life depended on it. “No,” you whispered. “It’s not… It’s not you.” You closed your eyes, trying to mold your jumbled emotions into a cohesive thought. “This place is supposed to be safe,” you told him, hoping he would follow what you were trying to say. “Ours. And then… when Sam said… that… it was… it was like her ghost walked right in the door. She’s still haunting me, Buck.”
You felt his arms tighten around you. “Sweetheart,” he murmured into your hair, “what do you need? What can I do?”
You wiped at your eyes and looked up at him with a tear-streaked face. “Tell me you love me, Bucky.”
His piercing blue gaze was honest and sincere as he looked down at you. “I love you, Pocket. I have only, ever, loved you.” No questions, no ridiculing your request for reassurance– just pure understanding that this was what you needed from him
You felt yourself exhale, the tension that had been wracking through you ebbing away as you looked into his eyes. “I love you, Buck,” you whispered back. “I’m sorry– I thought… I thought I was better.”
His face was soft as he looked at you. “Doll, you are getting better. It’s a process. We’re a process. And we work on us, together.”
You snorted in spite of yourself as you wiped your nose. “How the fuck did you get so goddamn wise?” you asked him. “It’s mildly annoying.”
“Ah, there’s that dirty mouth I love so much,” he smirked at you. “Come on.” With a gracefulness that belied his massive size, he lifted you up and carried you back into the bedroom, gently placing you on your new bed.
“Oh, shit!” you said, trying to stand up. “Everyone’s still downstairs–”
“I kicked them out as soon as you left the living room,” he told you, coming to kneel before you as he pulled you back down. “Serves them right for interrupting our first night living together when we haven’t touched each other in eight thousand, seven hundred and forty three hours.”
You widened your eyes. “Not that your counting, or anything,” you said with a giggle, and were rewarded when Bucky smirked up at you.
“There’s my girl,” he said, stroking your cheek. “I know we had big plans for tonight,” he said as he rested his vibranium hand on your knee. “And trust me when I tell you, there is nothing I want more than to strip you naked and take you apart on every single surface of this apartment until you can’t remember your own name.” You gulped at that. “But,” he continued, “all that can wait. Tonight, I’m gonna go back into that bathroom, light some candles, and run us a bubble bath. Then, you and I are going to get in that tub and I’m just gonna hold you, okay?” You found yourself nodding dumbly at the sensual promise.
Bucky leaned in close to you, tucking a strand of hair away from your face and behind your ear. “Tonight,” he reiterated, “I just want us to be close. And then tomorrow?” He leaned in to whisper seductively into your ear. “First thing tomorrow, I’m going to fucking ruin you.”
Part 2 ->
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wildlife4life · 2 months ago
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8x01 Fuck-it Friday Coda
I'm back!!! The writing beans came to me and I had to write a post b-day scene. Hope ya'll enjoy!!! (Using this as my Fuck-it Friday as well!) Posted to A03 as well.
Tommy tried to apologize, tried to offer to help clean up, and suggested to give Buck a ride home. 
“Don’t” was Eddie’s first response before the apology could even get past the older man’s lips.
“I’ll deal with it later.” Was his second.
And Buck, merely shook his head and lead the pilot to the front door, hugging him in the doorway with too soft words Eddie doesn’t even try to catch.
He stays seated on the couch, laptop still closed, cone hate crushed in his fist and the stupid noise maker at his feet. Another birthday passing through a lagging computer screen. Another person he loves upset and angry for his choices.
Except there’s silence that echoes around him instead of the bustle of an army encampment. His body isn’t weighed down by miliary gear and the ever presence fear of dying in the sands of war.  Eddie is no longer that man in his early 20’s, running from his problems. Now he’s just a man in his mid-thirties, watching his son run away from him.
The couch dips to his right and warmth seeps into his numb body.  It spreads around his back and over his left shoulder.  The band of muscles around him, flex, pulling Eddie deeper and pushing the numbness further away.
Eddie doesn’t even try to fight it.  He closes his eyes, tipping his body sideways and burying his face into his best friend’s shoulder.
Buck doesn’t say anything.  He doesn’t try to apologize or offer to help clean, and he doesn’t suggest leaving Eddie to wallow alone. Because he doesn’t need to say any of those things.
Apologies from Buck aren’t going to salvage the failed birthday surprise.  Offers to clean the dollar store decorations and store-bought cupcakes will in no way make a dent in the disarray that is Eddie’s relationship with his son. And Eddie knows better than anyone, Buck is never going to leave him alone in this mess.
Side by side they sit in the silence that has been lingering since Christopher left for Texas.  Eddie breaths in the mixture of Buck’s cologne, laundry detergent, and something that is just uniquely Buck.  He takes breath after breath, and Buck matches each one with his own. Same rhythm. Same speed. Same heartache.
They sit there for minutes, hours, maybe even the rest of evening. The time didn’t matter, but this moment did, and Eddie needed to stay in it for just a little longer. He needed the line of warmth from Buck to chase away the remaining ache. He needed just a few more deep breaths with Buck’s scent lingering in the back of his throat. He needed Buck to keep holding onto him. He needed the silence to try and remember the echoes of previous birthdays where Christopher didn’t scoff, but smiled and laughed and returned his father’s hugs. He needed his son back.
But at this moment, his son didn’t need him.
It sobers Eddie, admitting that and he comes back to himself, breaking the bubble he secluded himself in with Buck.
He pulls his head from Buck’s shoulder and with a squeeze of his hand to Buck’s knee, Buck drops his arm, but the strength of his support remains. And when Eddie rises to his feet, disconnecting himself from Buck’s side, his warmth, his love, clings and doesn’t allow the numbness to return.
The silence is still there. The hurt and echoes of laughter’s past still resonance around them. There is still a mess. But Eddie isn’t alone with any of it.
Buck grabs the trash bag he laid out earlier and plucks the crumpled party hat from Eddie’s laxed grip. It makes the slightest rustle when dropped in the bag and again when followed by Buck’s red one.
“No cone hats next year, they’re uncomfortable.” Buck states as he tosses Tommy’s discarded blue hat in.
He reaches for the noise maker on the floor and Eddie manages to allow the smallest spark of hope to erupt with a tiny smile, “What do you suggest instead?”
The noise maker disappears into the trash bag and Buck’s eyes catch Eddie’s, lighting up with giddiness, “Depends.  Disney has the mickey ears, but what about universal? Shrek ears? Troll hair? Minion bald caps?”
A grand birthday plan is already in the works for Christopher’s 15th. Because Buck could see past pool clubs and renovation talks. He is seeing past the tangles in Eddie’s and Christopher’s distant relationship, beyond the anger and sadness.  His hope is larger than a single spark and one day, it will charge Eddie’s own.
One day, but not today.  So, Eddie shakes his head at Buck’s hat contemplations and makes his way over to the cupcake stand that is only missing one. “You’re baking these next year.” Eddie says softly.
Buck comes up behind him beaming, “You’re helping.”
Exactly what he needed to hear.
Tagging for fuck-it friday (no pressure): @colonoscopys @mattsire @bigfootsmom @tidesreach @kitteneddiediaz
@inell @pansysgothgf @smilingbuckley @shitouttabuck @dangerpronebuddie
@bucks-daddy-issues @tizniz @aroeddiediaz @cal-daisies-and-briars @lemonzestywrites
@diazsdimples @daffi-990 @diazheartsbuckley @transboybuckley @rainbow-nerdss
@theotherbuckley @lover-of-mine @jeeyuns @watchyourbuck @exhuastedpigeon
@spaceprincessem @starlingbite @glorious-spoon @jesuisici33 @hippolotamus
@prosperdemeter2 @try-set-me-on-fire @homerforsure @bekkachaos @honestlydarkprincess
@thekristen999 @sibylsleaves @mellaithwen @lonelychicago @tawaifeddiediaz
@fruitydiaz @monsterrae1 @elvensorceress @gayhoediaz @captain-hen
@eddiebabygirldiaz
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kelppsstuff · 9 months ago
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“HOW LONG.”
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | ALT ENDING
Masterlist
Warnings: mentions of cheating.
Taglist: @adamsfavoritesinner @dustsofangels @leathesimp @lunanight1021 @michelleszn @p1nkiee @reeses-piece @strangerthings36 @biggdaddylonglegs @danart501 @sashaphantomhive @ladyninggs @dak-ots
Hello, so this is the Alt ending so everyone please know that this is LUCIFERS ENDING! Adams is in part three!
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Court went absolutely terrible. Adam had basically trashed the whole idea. Adam also had a huge influence on the court.
I felt truly sorry for Charlie, and Emily. I had thought Sera told Emily, but apparently not. Let's just say, the whole session could have gone better.
"I'm so sorry Charlie." We were back in the heaven hotel. We had a few more hours before we had to leave. "It's okay, not your fault." Her smile was shaky. "Do you think I could have some time alone?" | smiled gently at her. "Of course darling, get some rest." I closed the door and looked up to see Lucifer. He looked conflicted, confused, and concerned. The three C's.
" knew I shouldn't have set up this meeting. They crushed her!" We walked back into our own hotel room. "She's a strong girl Luce. She'll be okay. I promise." And she will be. Eventually.
Lucifer smiled at me, but the it faltered. The conflict-ion coming back into his face.
*I saw Lilith." | nodded my head and gestured for him to continue. “|-I don't know anymore. I like you." He sat down on the bed putting his face in his hands. "Like really really like you." | sat on the floor in front of him. Moving his hands away to look at his crimson eyes. "I like you too.”
His eyes squeeze shut almost as if his next words hurt him to say. "But I made a vow. That no matter what she and I would always have one another. Even if those words did hurt him, I was positive it hurt me more.
"Your going back to her" A tear fell down my face. Lucifer opened his eyes again and brushed the said tear aside with his smooth hand.
"What kind of man would I be if I didn't keep my word to her? What kind of example would I be telling my daughter?" My heart was hurting.m but I understood even if it did hurt.
"Do you love her. My voice breaking. I never even met her and yet it felt like she took away all the ones I loved. "Yes." Fuck.
"Do you love me?" Another tear fell. This time instead of his hand brushing it away it was his lips. “Yes.”
(Where the ALT ENDING begins.)
I shook my head. He couldn’t tell me that. Not when he’s going to her. Not when I loved him.
“I understand.” I understood but fuck why did this hurt so bad then? “I have to go to her now.” He stood and looked to the door. “She’s coming back to hell with us.” I stood as well and nodded at him.
He walked across the room. I heard the door open but I didn’t look to see. To busy staring at the wall in shock, I’m heartache, and in longing.
The door closed and I heard two words come from Lucifer. “Fuck it.”
He walked across the room to me and when I turned to ask what he leaned me down to his lips.
He was kissing me, hard.
My lipstick started to stain his lips and he spoke in between when our mouth would disconnect.
“The example—“
Another kiss.
“I want to set—“
A kiss.
“Is for my daughter—“
A kiss.
“To choose the person their heart actually belongs too.”
A final kiss. Our hand started to roam all over each other.
Lilith ended up staying in heaven. I had convinced Adam to call off the extermination.
Adam would try and win me back but I always said no. I couldn’t ever trust him again.
I would always love Adam. And if he ever needed my help with something I would give the help he needed.
But with my son on the way I wanted to set an example to him.
To be with the person his heart truly belongs too, and not to be with the person they gave vows to, that no longer have no meaning.
I wore my silver band that Adam gave me around my finger.
Lucifer wore his gold band Lilith gave to him, around his finger.
We never married, we didn’t need too. We were happy as we could ever be.
AND THATS A WRAP! If you have any ideas don’t be afraid to request. 💛
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