#man fuck ucb

[lavender-annd-lilac]

Early New Year’s resolution: try to leave THREE (3) actual comments before getting on to the self indulgent wisecracks let’s goooo 🤠

1.) I gotta give it to her, reader has some unwavering focus when she has a goal in mind. I mean yeah it the goals seems to come from a place of low self esteem, but the determination is there.

2.) Lloyd is the straight up chaotic evil character in a dnd campaign. Unfortunately, his shit is pretty entertaining (to me lol)… like give the villain a few good quips and I’ll low key root for them (to have more dialogue). See also: Loki

3.) Colin seems… idk if he immediately assumed his wife cheated on him bc he’s insecure about himself/the relationship, or he’s just one of those guys that think all women are ~jezebels

MST3K style commentary under the cut 🙈

wrap the gift

Wrap??? Lady, may I introduce u to… the gift bag?

As you close the trunk, a hand slaps down on the metal,

“Shut the fuck up,” you snap as you swing your door open.

Don’t make me call my girl Kelsey 😤😤😤

He bends down and taps on the window with his knuckles.

Spray him with that window anti freeze washer stuff!!! (I don’t have a car lol what is this function called??? 😫)

He slips out his leather wallet and plucks out a bill. He waves it in the air.

THIS IS SO UNHINGED. Sir, this is a parking lot not a fucking Chippendales so put your stripper money away 😒

You hit the gas, lurching forward so he staggers away.

This is why u need those zombie cars from The Walking Dead with like pitchforks attached to the front

He drops the bill and stomps his foot as he stops.

Ok… I’m not like living in extreme poverty or anything but u bet ur ass I’d circle around the block and then come back to retrieve this money 😳

“Woah, woah, baby, I’m tryna apologise here.”

Oh wait… nvm 😩

"You need a new car and you're buying me a watch," he sighs.

Wait.. not to be like “how much could a banana cost, Michael”, but are these things equivalent in price? Like, I know watches can be expensive but like dang. Imagine wearing a jeep on your wrist lol

"Can I help you, bozo?" The stranger replies, "who the fuck are you?"

I’m losing it lmao 🤣 yes yes he’s the villain here but I love this idgaf energy. Like, the next time a pushy salesperson (not Kelsey, obvi) says “can I help u” for the third time I’m going to say this EXACT thing in my head bc I’m deathly afraid of confrontation

"Husband? Baby, you didn't mention a husband. Oh, look at that, you put your ring back on,"

Wow he trained at UCB huh… some impressive improv going on here.

"Don't worry about paying me back, baby, the old man looks like he needs something snappy,"

She should have yes and-ed him tbh until it escalated to such a bizarre and obviously comedic scenario

"You fucking this dude?" Colin exclaims as he stands, "is that where you got the money?"

So hypothetically, if she was fucking him, would it make a difference if she got paid for it? I mean, from a husband perspective, is that really your primary concern when u think ur wife potentially cheated on u? lol

"Someone's gotta," the man taunts.

It’s the snappy comebacks for me fam 👌

"She calls me daddy," the guy snickers

Wait he’s a Harvard alum right? Maybe he wrote for the Lampoon 🤷‍♀️ Makes sense since SNL loves their Harvard boys

Tina Fey knows what’s up

Colin turns to shove him, nearly sending him into the next table. Half the restaurant stares in your direction.

3 kinds of ppl here:

Those who pretend they aren’t looking:

Those looking around awkwardly:

And me:

"Give him the fucking watch!" Colin growls

Lmaooo I feel like this is such a bitch boy perspective. He’s like, u might have cheated on me, but if u return this watch at least u won’t be a whore 😂 the idea of ur partner being a sex worker is somehow worse than them being a regular ol’ cheater lol

You don't understand what just happened

Me neither sis. Haha imagine if he just goes around doing this shit so he can crush his SNL audition or something lmao

Unsolicited 2

Warnings: bad self-thought/talk, bullying, insults, low self-esteem, money problems, more dark elements to come.

Wouldn't mind some feedback! Lloyd was driving me nuts so I had to do it. Thank you in advance 💜

On your way out, you stop and grab a few groceries to justify your trip to the mall. You still have a lot to do when you get home and your mind’s already three steps ahead; tidy up, put everything away, wrap the gift, and the most tedious task of getting yourself done up. The reservation you made a week ago fills you with dread.

You pop the trunk and drop in the bags, tucking the watch safely between them. As you close the trunk, a hand slaps down on the metal, startling you. It’s him, that man.

“Excuse me,” he steps closer and you back away, “try not to dirty my car.”

You frown as he gets nearer and side steps you. You look around at the Lexus parked just behind your beat up Neesan. Fuck, really?

You huff and shake your head as you skirt around to the driver’s side, “you take that watch back for grocery money or–” You ignore him as you unlock the car door, “I got some spare change in my glove compartment if you really need the gas money.”

“Shut the fuck up,” you snap as you swing your door open.

“I might even take my wallet out if you take the coat off. Heave up the tits and–”

You growl and drop into the seat. Before you can slam the door, it’s caught and you look up at the man as his hand holds it back. Panic thumps in your chest and you pull on the handle frantically.

“What the fuck– get–” You hit the horn with your other hand, “help–”

“Oh, shut up,” he snarls and lets the door go. It snaps closed and you jolt in the seat.

He bends down and taps on the window with his knuckles. You ignore him as you hit the lock switch and fumble with your keys. Why won’t he leave you alone? You twist the ignition and the engine chuffs to life.

He steps in front of your car as he reaches under his jacket. He slips out his leather wallet and plucks out a bill. He waves it in the air.

“How about a backseat handie, babe?” You hit your horn again and he winces, covering his ears, “fuck! It’s the best offer you’ll get.”

You hit the gas, lurching forward so he staggers away. He drops the bill and stomps his foot as he stops.

“Woah, woah, baby, I’m tryna apologise here.”

“Get the fuck out of my way,” you holler through the windshield, “now!”

You let off the break again and he stumbles out of your path. You roll on and he kicks the side of your car. You squeeze the wheel as your adrenaline pumps through your veins. As you steer between the rows of vehicles, your tears spill out at last.

You idle at the end of the column and take out your phone. You check your rearview. There’s no one behind you. Still, it’s good to be prepared. Just in case.

You breathe out and leave your phone unlocked in the passenger’s seat. You put your hands back on the wheel and continue through the lot, finding the nearest exit as you keep checking your side and rear mirrors.

As you turn onto the street, you see a flash of dark blue, the same shade as the Lexus. You putter at the red light and look over your shoulder then check your mirror again. It’s not there. You’re paranoid.

You wipe your face and sniff up your fear. You just want to get home and get everything sorted out. It was just one very strange, upsetting encounter. You aren’t going to let it ruin Colin’s surprise.

💎

"Babe, did I tell you how hot you look?" Colin purrs as he pulls out your chair.

You blush, touching your warm cheeks as you sit. You thank him as he sits across from you, the hostess handing out menus and reciting the specials. She leaves you to peruse as you hold your purse anxiously in your lap.

"Getting ready to go so soon?" Colin kids as he watches you wring the strap.

"N-no, no," you say, still uneasy.

You just want to give him his gift. It's what today's all been about yet that shadow follows you, the man from the jewelry shop calling out your extra rolls like you don't already know. At least your husband's kind enough to act like they don't exist.

"This place is nice," he says, "new job hasn't started yet."

"I know, it's my treat," you teeter on the edge of your seat "I've been saving and I just want you to know that I love you."

"Of course I know that–"

"No, no, I wanna show you and I wanna be better. I'm gonna be more active and keep up with things better," you chew your lip and unzip your purse, the fabric chafing your hips as you're reminded of the too small dress pinching your skin, "and I picked up some extra shifts."

You dig your hand in your bag and take out the wrapped box. The shiny green paper catching the chandelier above your table. You put it in front of him and sit back.

"I'm proud of you. Your new job, how you take care of me…"

"What…"

"Just open it," you insist, "please."

He chuckles and looks around, "I hope you didn't spend too much. It's been tight."

"It's not from our account, I've been saving, just don't worry about that."

"Alright, alright," he traces along a fold and jams his thumb underneath. He tears through and your anticipation has you vibrating.

As he pulls away the paper he turns the box over. He sees the jeweler's logo and gives pause, sending a look in your direction. His cheek twitches and he pops open the lid on its hinges.

"Gotta be spiffy for the new job," you say, "do you like it?"

He stares and for a moment, you're scared.

"I love it, but it must've been so expensive."

"No, no, I got a good deal and even added on the insurance so you can get it cleaned–"

"You need a new car and you're buying me a watch," he sighs.

"Colin, I–"

"I know, I know, it's amazing, babe, you're amazing but…" he looks up and his throat bobs, "what did I do to deserve you?"

"Me? What about you? You're–"

Your name interrupts your sentence. You freeze, the timbre throwing you off. You furrow your brow as Colin gives an equally confused look. You slowly look over as a man steps up beside you. It's that man. How does he know who you are?

"Hi, can I help you?" Colin interjects.

"Can I help you, bozo?" The stranger replies, "who the fuck are you?"

"I– I'm her husband, who the fuck are you?" Colin shifts in his seat.

"Husband? Baby, you didn't mention a husband. Oh, look at that, you put your ring back on," the man continues.

"What? No, huh?" You sputter, "would you just go–"

"Babe, who is this?" Colin asks.

"I don't know, he–"

"Don't worry about paying me back, baby, the old man looks like he needs something snappy," he winks at Colin, "jeez, wish you'd said something, I'd have been more subtle–"

"You fucking this dude?" Colin exclaims as he stands, "is that where you got the money?" He throws the watch down and injects himself between the table and the stranger, "you're fucking my goddamn wife?"

"Someone's gotta," the man taunts.

"No, no– I don't know him. He--" you grab Colin's arm and he rips away from you, "please, listen to me, he's just some jerk from the store–"

"And how does he know your name?"

"I don't know. I don't even know who he is, please. I–"

"She calls me daddy," the guy snickers and Colin turns to shove him, nearly sending him into the next table. Half the restaurant stares in your direction.

"Give him the fucking watch!" Colin growls at you, "fucking slut."

He grabs his jacket and storms out. You blink dumbly and turn to snatch your purse. The man moves into your path before you can follow your husband.

"Who are you? Why are you doing this?" You rasp.

"Like I said, you can call me daddy," he flicks your chin, "Lloyd works too."

You sneer and elbow past him, flinching as his hand bounces off your ass. You don't look back as you hurry away, desperate to catch up to Colin before he's gone. You don't understand what just happened.

[cis-picious]

My groups research project didn't get accepted to the conference at ucb :/

[junebugzzz]

favorite brand of clothing?

name a dog

what unusual talent do you have?

what’s the most interesting schools gossip you’ve ever heard?

ever prank called a store?

what’s your coffee order?

rant. just do it

do you think its ok to separate the artist from the art?

oof, i haven't shopped enough to know lol. i just put on whatever i think is cool lookin. as far as i explored on my own though, UCB has some cool stuff, very colourful.

UHHH.. Vegas. he's my friend's labrador. old and calm and black fur and hungry all the time <3

unusual talent huh. y'know that tiktok trend where people can move their nostrils/nose to the beat of a song? i can do that pretty well :^)

lmao the most interesting one i heard (and i dont hear much, im too lazy to find out) actually involves me. there was this rumour that this guy i'm friends with really likes me because he hung around me a lot. even got dared to ask me out. what they didn't know was that he's gay and i'm the only one he was out to 🥴

OHO YEAH I HAVE 👍🏽 that poor dominos guy. i spoke in a pakka telangana accent asking for a biryani. pretty sure he hated me.

cafe latte. one, i'm broke, and two, i have no fucking clue what the other orders mean.

i don't have anything to rant about rn bro 🧍🏽‍♀️

what does this mean. someone help. as in not give them credit? absolutely not ok wth. is it more philosophical than that? like... does the art have its own value or is it part of the artist/is a piece of the creator in it?? that, i don't know the answer to. seperating art like that from an artist reduces it to material, skill and some vague idea if there is any. that works for artists like Da Vinci. he was a skillfull man, he was a genius and an extraordinary man. but it doesnt work for Van Gogh; he was also a genius but it wasn't just his skill that played a role in his art. without his motive, his art loses a little meaning.

ask me questions from here!

[aaronbleyaert]

So back in 2002 when I was living in NYC, my best pal Tony Zaret and I were taking a weekly sketch writing class at UCB from Ian Roberts. After every class, for some reason (mostly likely the reason being that McNuggets are fucking delicious) we would go to the McDonald's in Union Square and get food before going back to the Kingdom of Rock in Flatbush (aka our house). At this McDonald's, every single week, we would see Ric Ocasek. Without fail. Every week. For six straight weeks. Now, Ric was an easy guy to pick out of a crowd - and it's a bit of an understatement to say that I, being a 6'3" 276 lb white haired man with a smooth as silk baby face, also stuck out. So, by week three of us seeing each other, all of us knew all of us by sight. We would all see each other and nod and order our food and leave. Being a huge Cars fan, it was super cool. But here's the thing - even though we all exchanged nods every weekend and he CLEARLY recognized me, I was too nervous to actually talk to the dude. Sunday would come and we would all be in McDonald's and we would all see each other and we would all do the nod and I would think "DO IT SAY SOMETHING DO IT DO IT DO IT" and I wouldn't and we would all order our food and then leave. Every week. For six straight weeks. Anyway, the class ended and we stopped going to that McDonald's and I hated myself for YEARS for not saying anything. WHY DIDN'T I SAY ANYTHING. WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME (answer: quite a bit). Cut to something like 6 years later, and I'm at work, rushing from the studio back up to my office, not watching where I'm going, and I almost run into someone. I stop, look up, and start to apologize - and I lock eyes with, you guessed it, Ric Ocasek. I'm shocked. I'm sweaty. I want to say something but the words "I used to nod at you every weekend in a fast food restaurant" feel completely insane. Suddenly Ric cocks his head, smiles, and says "Heeeeeey. McDonald's." AMAZING. Rest in peace, Ric. Your music rocks. And you had great taste in nuggets.

[play-now-my-lord]

OK because people asked me for context: UKLG's father, Alfred Kroeber (where the K in her name comes from, actually!) was a Berkley anthropologist in the bad old days of anthropology where they were allowed to keep colonized people in little zoo exhibits to raise money. (Several people who are still darlings of the field participated in this crime against humanity, including Franz Boas.) While I'm not familiar with anything about the story I'm about to tell you that involved a human zoo, I want you to remember that was the level that "acceptable behavior towards random ndns" operated on in academic circles in the 1910s.

I am not 100% versed in the story, and frankly large parts of it as recorded are completely out of pocket (like, what are we supposed to call the guy? Probably nothing, bc in his culture people have names because there are other people to call them those names.) But like. In 1911, a man around 50 years old was found squatting in a barn in California by farmworkers. He claimed (probably truthfully, but who actually knows) to be the last of his people, the Yahi, who were directly in the path of the migration to the goldfields & bore the brunt of the California Genocide.

This man - who, again, I am not giving a name out of respect for his practices; the name Wikipedia for instance identifies him for is just his language's word for "man" - wound up essentially treated as an animal in the care of UCB's anthropology department for a few years, bouncing in and out of housing. Including Kroeber's house. Incidentally, while this guy was more or less keeping him in his house as a curiosity, he had him hired by UCB as a janitor, presumably because just giving him a stipend without making him clean house would have been degrading (and definitely not because there was nothing West Coast settlers at the time seemed to like more than recruiting ndns for custodial work).

Kroeber's reputation as an academic relied to an outsized degree on observation and recording of this man's last years. He caught TB between being captured by settlers and his death a few years later, and he made friends with a doctor with the slightly ludicrous name of Saxton Pope, who he passed along toolmaking skills to. He appeared in a (brief, because it was the 1910s) motion picture, more or less as a fixture of the landscape.

It is an ugly story and I'm not an expert on it, and frankly I don't want to be. All of this was years before UKLG herself was born, although her parents continued to write about this man and their relationship with him well into her lifetime.

This is not really a backchannel way to cancel UKLG or anything. It comes back to my mind every once in a while because it's fucked up. I don't know if she even had anything to say about her parents' relationship to this guy, but if she had I kinda wouldn't want to hear it anyway?

We ever gonna talk about how Ursula K. Le Guin's dad kept a guy as a pet or nah

[irarelypostanything]

Slice of Life[4]

[Ryan]

Ryan found that being extremely intelligent was both a blessing and a curse: It was a blessing because it helped him breeze through his UCB CS classes, and it was a curse because it made people interact with him in some really strange, occasionally disturbing ways.

Arrogant and egotistical people, Ryan found, often attempted to show their superiority to him out of some mislabeled sense of insecurity (and they were almost always unsuccessful).  Even fairly “normal” people seemed to adapt their behavior in his presence, either by attempting to garner his respect or by ignoring him outright.  All of this was because they either saw themselves in him, were envious of him, or were just generally intimidated by him.  Ryan knew this because, while dual-majoring in music, he also did minors in psychology, military strategy, and economics.  For fun.

The honest truth was that, beneath the brilliance and the talent, Ryan was actually a fairly simple man who only cared at all about three things: His girlfriend, digital signal processing, and dropping bomb-ass EDM remixes.  He currently had roughly 500 thousand hits on one of his Soundclound scores.  His dream was to either sign a record label or pursue grad school at MIT, where he hoped to prove that there was a far superior method for direction finding.

“I’ve tested all of your new code,” said Kevin, “and it works perfectly.”

“Excellent.  Do you want to tell Andy?”

“Well...hold on.  Here’s the thing.”

They were back in the conference room.  Kevin’s laptop was projected for both of them.  Kevin brought up their sprint breakdown, which reflected that they were on track to finish their story in about three days.

“If we say this is complete, the scrum master is going to ask us to work on something else.  Because it will take a day just to understand the new task, and because the scrum master is incapable of comprehending that, we will have to work the weekend.  I don’t want to work the weekend.  However, this would be an ethical violation and a deceptive-”

“Fuck it, let’s do it.”

“What?  Really?”

“Yeah man, I don’t know about you, but I’d rather go to a rave than sit in an office Saturday night.”

The next day, as per the sacred laws of scrum, both of them stood and shared their progress.

“Unfortunately,” said Kevin, “this task has proven to be very difficult for us.  It is likely to take us the remaining two days we have, but hopefully not the weekend.”

“Hopefully,” said Ryan.  “Kevin is working pretty hard to show me the ropes, but I admit that I’ve been a bit slow to adapt.”  Ryan winked at Kevin.

“Do you still think you’ll be able to finish the story on time?”

“Yes!” said Kevin instantly.  “Er...I mean...if we work really hard, then possibly we’ll finish.”

“Fingers crossed!” said Ryan.

“Okay,” said the scrum master, “good luck to both of you.”

Ryan and Kevin spent the next six hours playing Minecraft on a company Raspberry Pi.

[Kevin]

San Francisco.  God it took a long time to drive back this time.  It was Picnic Day, so getting past Davis took like an hour.  Berkeley was...busy...always.  Some driver honked Kevin as he slowed to get into the rightmost lane, and Kevin quickly memorized the angry driver’s license plate.  One day, even if it took a lifetime, Kevin would get revenge.  Kevin would find this driver, tailgate him, then honk him rudely before speeding away.

The drive normally took an hour and a half.  Today it took almost four.

Home was strange.  His mom was out on her own vacation.  Everything looked more or less the same, but what was this...lack of feeling?  Kevin unpacked his things, tested the Internet, watched an episode of Billions.  He slept a little while, since the drive was exhausting, then lazily checked his Android.

He wanted to talk “strategy” with someone from before, whatever that meant.  Company pivot.  Multi-million dollar contract.  Career growth.  Blah blah blah blah blah.  He had one friend whose mature insight six years before had been critical.  He wanted her wisdom again, but she was out.

There was someone else he knew from before.  She was also out.

His high school friend who was now trying to get into software engineering?  His college friend who moved up here for data analytics?  Busy, busy.  What was this?

Kevin felt lonely a lot.  The company therapist said that this was a psychological affliction created from his unique circumstance of NEVER HANGING OUT WITH ANYONE, EVER, unless it involved complaining about work for two hours straight and then leaving early.  Kevin responded by asking his therapist if she wanted to grab lunch.  She politely declined.

Kevin streamed a new series called Billions.  Kevin watched YouTube.  Kevin decided to start reading an exciting new book series he had heard about in a podcast during the drive, then got bored of that.  He returned to his phone and decided to cycle through everyone again.

Still busy?  Yeah.  Still busy?  Yeah.

Kevin decided to try out a new strategy.  He got everyone he had just asked into a Facebook chat and asked if they wanted to play StarCraft 1, just like old times.

They all played until daybreak, and it was great, but Kevin really helped that four-hour drive was not a waste.

[Nora]

Sunday mornings were always spent at church, as God had intended.  It was important to specify that Jesus, unlike the followers of outdated teachings, stressed that it was not sinful to work on the holy day.  Sin was a spectrum, not an absolute.  

And holy crap were some of these Sunday night parties she found herself in sinful.

San Francisco daytime, Nora remembered, mostly consisted of churning out code and witnessing the combined results of various well-known tech companies feeding off of each other and reproducing incestuousy, like the Targaryens.  Her dashboard alone was powered by six familiar names, and it was unsurprising that these six companies also used her company’s product.

San Francisco nighttime, Nora was now learning, consisted of various bar crawls, sketchy house parties, drinking on drinking, and various drugs that it was probably illegal to even put into writing.  Nora at least distanced herself from the drugs, but the rest was difficult.  The caviar was to die for.  The music was so fire that she wondered how these musicians remained in obscurity while crap on the radio was platinum.

Tonight, at a quieter house party, Nora wanted to just unwind a little bit.  She carried a bottle of two buck chuck she had found and uncorked it for herself.  She chatted up the bartender, mingled a bit, then sat at the couch to sip and scroll through Instagram.  This was going to be a quieter night, she could feel it.

Suddenly Kevin burst through the front door, two bottles of Bacardi 151 in hand.

“The drought is over!” he screamed, followed by the loud sound of the host cheering and everyone else in the room calling his name.  

[submitabug]

Hours after CEO Mike Farah delivered the news via an internal memo, Matt Klinman took to Twitter, writing, “Mark Zuckerberg just walked into Funny or Die and laid off all my friends.” It was a strong sentiment for the longtime comedy creator, who started out at UCB and The Onion before launching Pitch, the Funny or Die-incubated joke-writing app, in 2017.

But Klinman explained in a thread: “There is simply no money in making comedy online anymore. Facebook has completely destroyed independent digital comedy and we need to fucking talk about it.”

We’re not sure about you, but that certainly piqued our interest. We sat down with Klinman to fucking talk about it (and just a note–these opinions are his, and he’s speaking for himself and not on behalf of Funny or Die).

This interview is well worth reading. If you don’t have time, here’s what I think is the most important part:

The whole other part of this is that we’re going back to a world in which, if you are a rich white man who is able to run an Instagram meme feed, you can still eke by right now. But imagine if you’re someone who doesn’t have that privilege — maybe you have student loan debt. Places like Funny or Die were finally equaling out our writing staff. It was something we really cared about. Can you imagine, if there’s no money, how can you get diverse voices into comedy if there’s no way for them to start out? It’s really bleak.

[leftpress]

Everybody Hates the Berkeley College Republicans

Anonymous Contributor | February 12, 2017

It’s been just over a week since a successful demonstration outside of UC Berkeley’s Pauley Ballroom shut down Milo Yiannopoulos and the alt-right on February 1st. In the aftermath of the Berkeley College Republicans’ defeat, we’ve seen an increase of interest in radical anti-fascist politics taking hold throughout the campus. Students saw a stark contrast between the out of touch administration at UC Berkeley, which sought to protect Milo as he planned to out undocumented students, and the black bloc that helped shut the event down and kick far-Right scum off the streets. We think it is important to discuss what else has happened in the week following that demo because it is relevant to discussions about the role and efficacy of militant anti-fascism in the context of a growing far-Right movement that is itching to get off the internet and into the real world.

An Increasingly Toxic Group

On the morning of February 1st, the Berkeley College Republicans must have been feeling extra good about themselves. Confident that opponents would fail to significantly disrupt their event planned for later that evening and not content to let Milo have all the fun, members of BCR planned to troll protesters by giving plastic snowflakes to them outside the Pauley Ballroom. However, by all accounts it was BCR who really couldn’t take the heat that night. Although BCR paid several thousand dollars for event security, their event was shut down and their associates were sent packing. Guess you don’t always get what you pay for!

Get your Latest News From The Leftist Front on LeftPress.tk → Help Us Gather News (Click for Details) ←

Mike Wright , Strategic Director for BCR, about to piss his pants on live TV

On February 2nd, not even twenty-four hours after the riotous actions of the night before, Jack Palkovic of BCR was confronted by two men and punched in the face as he was giving an interview to media. In video that captured the incident, one of the men yells out “fuck you, fascist!” as he waves Jack’s stolen MAGA hat in his hand. This isn’t the first time Jack’s politics have been accurately assessed, and it was at least the second time he’s been punched in the face because of it. That evening campus police were stationed outside in the hallway to protect BCR’s general meeting. University police have since offered to have a cop posted nearby when BCR is tabling and are currently working together with BCR on safety protocols.

UCPD outside BCR meeting

Before February 1st, the students in BCR were able to infiltrate an anti-Milo meeting nearly undetected. Now they are so recognizable and hated that the community is punching them in the face on sight. Club leadership has begun advising members to put away their MAGA hats and attempt to be more conspicuous. As the student body and Bay Area community become increasingly aware of the connections BCR is making to fascist and white nationalist organizations, it’s getting harder and harder for BCR to operate and recruit without a bit of trouble coming their way.

Troy Worden (left) and Naweed Tahmas (right) of BCR attempt to crash an anti-Milo meeting on January 24. Naweed claimed at the time that he wasn’t involved in organizing the Milo event and was indifferent about the whole thing. On January 20th, Naweed was also featured in a livestream interview with Nathan Damigo, a neo-Nazi organizer with Identity Evropa.

For instance, the incompetent Republican group allowed the security of new members’ information to be compromised last week. Their new recruits are also getting called out now as a result. It’s still unclear exactly how this happened. The journalist that published the names and email addresses from BCR’s sign-up sheet claims that the Republicans left the sheet unattended at their Milo event while a fellow journalist was able to grab a photo and forward it. The students of BCR claim a man on a bicycle rode by their table and stole the list on February 2, taking a photo before the club could retrieve it. In any case, it’s clear that BCR is incapable of protecting themselves or those peripherally interested in the club’s politics, physically or digitally. This is the second time that members’ information was left open for the public to see, and no doubt the public is watching. New recruits beware!

Outcasts on Campus

The mainstream media has wasted no time weighing in on the protests that shut down BCR and Yiannopoulos, choosing to focus (of course) on free speech over white supremacy and fascism. The school administration and police department continue to assume that it’s impossible for Berkeley students to have shown up to a protest wearing black clothes. UC Berkeley professor Robert Reich took things a step further by peddling a conspiracy theory that claims the protestors in black were paid by Milo and Breitbart. But what really matters the most is what the students on campus are saying, and they’re saying a lot!

By Tuesday February 7 the UC Berkeley student newspaper, The Daily Californian, published several op-eds from students supporting the protest against BCR and Yiannopoulos. Under the heading “Violence as self-defense,” the op-eds from undergrads, grad students, and alumni understood the destruction of property as a justified use of force by the community. Students with similar views also had op-eds published in other local papers. This prompted UC Berkeley Chancellor Dirks to respond, stating that he’s “horrified by the call to embrace the use of violence to contest views with which we may disagree.”

The Berkeley College Republicans have themselves made numerous media appearances over the past week. Still, BCR has been unable to influence popular opinion where it counts. On February 2nd, a Facebook page called “UCB Free Speech” was created. The page immediately set up an event for what it called “UC Berkeley Free Speech Rally 2/8/17” that was scheduled to happen in Sproul Plaza on February 8th. This was a desperate attempt to reach out to anyone on campus that “believes in free speech and is appalled at what happened last week.”

UCB Free Speech never took off, plateauing at around 25 likes. From the beginning, it was questioned relentlessly by fellow UC Berkeley students as being a front for the Republicans. Whether or not this claim is true (it most likely is), just the possibility that this page could be associated with BCR was enough to limit the amount of attention it got. The backlash was overwhelming. The Facebook page UCB Free Speech and it’s event “UC Berkeley Free Speech Rally 2/8/17” were both deleted on February 8th because virtually nobody was sincerely interested in them.

BCR’s Friends are Using Them

Yiannopoulos appeared on Fox News recently to discuss the events of February 1st, including Trump’s tweet about cutting federal funding to UC Berkeley as punishment for not protecting free speech. Milo agreed and defended this stance on the cuts, even going as far as to say that “all of this goes into liberal arts studies that don’t produce real jobs.” Well, maybe he should have warned Troy Worden, member of BCR and organizer of BCR’s Milo event. Troy studies English and Philosophy at UC Berkeley, two liberal arts studies that could be severely impacted if Milo is being honest and gets what he wants. At the same time that Milo is cashing in on his college tour and signing book deals, he proposes the destruction of his fan’s education and dismisses it as worthless.

Milo having a horrible time with Naweed Tahmas

Milo isn’t the only friend of BCR threatening their future, however. The Republicans at Berkeley have recently been getting cozy with Nathan Damigo and his organization Identity Evropa, which recruits college students into white supremacist “activism.” Damigo was spotted standing next to Troy Worden at BCR’s table at Sproul Plaza on January 20th and at some point that day Damigo interviewed Naweed Tahmas of BCR for neo-Nazi media outlet Red Ice TV. Nathan Damigo has already spent time in prison for being a violent racist, and a member of his organization was just revealed as a long-time Bay Area neo-Nazi once arrested for assault and possession of bomb-making materials.

Good luck getting jobs with company like this, BCR! 

Round 2?

There are many lessons to draw from this for others wishing to stop the far-Right looking to do more than make memes. Anti-fascist activism is winning in the Bay Area. The fascist Berkeley College Republicans have been shut down and are consistently finding it hard to get support in the community.

On February 8th, Milo Yiannopoulos appeared on the Alex Jones radio show and mentioned plans to return. Yiannopoulos claims to be coming back to UC Berkeley a week after he gives a speech in Washington DC at the end of February. Some have suspected the date could be March 8, International Women’s Day. Activists should begin discussing now how they will respond when Milo comes back around, and how to take down BCR and stop their activities and relationships with neo-Nazi organizations.

This submission came to It's Going Down anonymously through itsgoingdown.org/contribute. IGD is not the author of this post.

Related Stories on LeftPress:

► WHEN THE GOVERNMENT REALLY DID FEAR A BOWLING GREEN MASSACRE — FROM A WHITE SUPREMACIST

► FROM THE WOMEN’S MARCH TO THE INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S STRIKE

► WHO ARE THE ANARCHISTS?

[danlicatablog]

AMIDST CLAIMS OF LACK OF DIVERSITY, UCB LAUNCHES “KUMAR NIGHT” TO SHOWCASE POC

For the past 20 years, the Upright Citizens Brigade theater has been a comedy theater.  As of late, however, several members of the UCB community have criticized the theaters lack of diversity, particularly in regards to three of their flagship shows: Harold Night, Lloyd Night, and Maude Night.  Seeking to rectify this, the theater recently announced Kumar Night, a new monthly showcase that will feature “UCB’s funniest, smartest, and most creative POC performing improv, original characters & sketch.”

 “We heard what people were saying, and we want them to know that their voices are an important part of our community, and that their voices are being heard.  So we thought it would be dope to give non-white students their own special night to…ya know, do their thang!” said a spokesperson for the theater who wished to remain anonymous, but also requested we plug their Maude team “Cap’n Brunch.”

 “Honestly I think it’s pretty punk rock of UCB to do this,” expressed Keith, a tech director at the theater. “And as long as the show ends on time and the performers get their tech to me 30 minutes before it starts, I think it’ll be a fun & successful show.”  He then muttered something under his breath about “paying dues” and punched one of the framed photos lining the wall, which was quickly swept up by a nervous-looking intern.

 After the intern refused to speak or make eye contact with us, we reached out to one of the higher-ups at the theater for a comment.

 “I have no problem with minorities…none whatsoever” stated UCB founder Amy Polar.  “I mean look at Parks & Rec...we had Aziz on da show for Christ sake!!  So yeah, I have no idea why people are sayin UCB is a  white supremacist organization.   If anything, we are puttin da ‘POC’ in ‘Punk rOCk improv theater.’”

 While those involved with the theater seem optimistic about Kumar Night, others have deemed the title of the show “tone-deaf” and “so blatantly offensive it’s like are they really fuckin serious with that shit?  Wow…honestly?  I’m not even surprised at this point.  If ignorance was chill vibes & good music this place would be Bonnaroo!!  You ever been to Roo?  Shit man, I been 14 times…I met my wife at Bonnaroo believe it or not…I was candy-flippin & saw this chick that looked like umm, you know those twins from the Matrix with the dreads?  Yeah like that!!! But like a hot chick…& we hung out all weekend, fucked in a tent… we got matching stick & poke tattoos of a kangaroo catchin a frisbee in its pouch…ya know like kangaroo, Bonnaroo?  Haha anyway, she ended up gettin pregnant, so she hit me up like a month later on Facebook & at first I was like ‘OH FUCK’ ya know, but then I chilled out, bonged out with the homies…and was like you know what?  Bonnaroo brought us together…for a reason, man, and that’s fuckin beautiful.  Bonnaroo is so chill like that.  I love chill vibes…matter of fact, my favorite type of vibes are chill vibes.  I used to own my own cough syrup business, believe it or not…I made my own cough syrup & sold it outta my Nissan Pathfinder.  Yeah I’m from Jacksonville originally, you got a dollar by any chance?  I’m just trying to get a slice of pizza.”  Another individual compared Kumar Night to Jim Crow.

 Kumar Night may be many things, but one thing is for sure: it is definitely Punk Rock!!!

  For more info on Kumar Night and other UCB shows, go to bing.com & type in “Kumar Night UCB”

[thedavidmaher]

Still my favorite comedy sketch on YouTube, criminally underviewed. 

Merry Christmas Orgy everybody!

[dapperandwoke-blog]

Dapper and Woke Interview: Comedian Janine Brito

Janine Brito is a stand-up comedian who’s been working for over a decade, performing at clubs across the nation, appearing at multiple festivals and competitions, and most prominently serving as a writer and on-air talent for FX’s Totally Biased with W. Kamau Bell from 2012 to 2013. I met her when we were both living in New York around 2010, and when I first saw her, three things made her permanently stick out in my mind: 1) the fact that she was also Cuban, 2) her bold, incisive comedic style she uses to relate her experiences as a lesbian woman (she was named 2011’s “best comedian with a message” by the East Bay Express newspaper), and 3) her incredibly snazzy sense of style.

When I first conceived of the idea of Dapper and Woke, she appeared in my mind as the very incarnation of the concept: someone who tries to make the world a better, more inclusive place while also looking good doing it. I’d be more than remiss if I didn’t feature her, and since we both live in LA now, I managed to catch her for a little in-person chat on a Monday night at UCB’s Sunset theater before the bi-weekly stand-up show she runs called “Cool, Thanks.”

We ended up talking for almost an hour about different subjects ranging from stand-up to activism to clothes as a way to claim one’s identity, so enjoy some excerpts below:

***

Angel: Now, your website just says you’re “from the Midwest...”

Janine: Yeah, it's weird, because...

Angel: Complicated story? Good, let's start from there!

Janine: I was born in Miami.

Angel: Oh OK! I was thinking "what's one of us doing doing out in the Midwest?!"

Janine: I lived in Miami until I was ten, and then my mom remarried an Englishman who did international sales, so we went from Miami to Paisley, Scotland, to Oakman, Alabama, to Hong Kong, and then I went to high school in Louisville Kentucky... Then I went to college in St. Louis.

Angel: So you were like a military brat, only for business! Your website also says half-Cuban, half-Icelandic.

Janine: My mom's Icelandic and my dad's Cuban. The family joke is my sister and I are “Ice Cubes.”

Angel: (Laughs) That's so dumb, but because I've never heard it before, it's brilliant. How did your dad and your mom meet?

Janine: It's great, it's one of my favorite stories! So my dad left Cuba, and because my abuela never spoke English, she couldn't hold down a job, so my dad dropped out of high school and was just working odd jobs in New Jersey to support his whole family. As soon as he was 18 he joined the Navy. You can make way more money in the Navy than you can bagging groceries in New Jersey.

Angel: I can imagine!

Janine: So he joined the Navy and was stationed in Reykjavik, Iceland, and got a part time job working the projection room [in a movie theater] on the naval base to get more money to send home.

Angel: Wow, your family was so poor not only did your dad join the military but then he was working a part time job in the military!

Janine:  And my mom was a military brat. My grandfather on my mom's side was a captain on the naval base, so my mom was attending the American high school on the base. She got a part time job working the concession stand at the movie theater, and she was taking Spanish classes, so she asked my dad to help her with her Spanish homework.

Angel: This is like a Beach Boys song!

Janine: I know, it's so cute! When the movie was running and everyone would settle in, my mom would sneak upstairs and she and my dad would sit together in the projection room while the movie was playing and do her Spanish homework together... Then they fell in love and then my mom got knocked up when she was 17, so my dad had to go into his commanding officer’s quarters and say "Sir, your daughter's pregnant, sir!"

***

Angel: When did your dad leave Cuba? I ask because there is that big class difference between generations of refugees. My dad came over in 1959, so he was part of the upper class refugees that could afford to get going when the going was good.

Janine: I don't know what year, but I know the story was that my family was pretty well off but they were mostly persecuted because they were super religious, so they were getting arrested for passing out religious pamphlets. I don't know how he got out specifically. It wasn't Pedro Pan but it was a program through the Catholic Church, which is weird because my family's not Catholic.

Angel: They’re Pentecostal, right?

Janine: Pentecostal, yeah--well, they're half-Pentecostal, half-Catholic.

Angel: Jeez, you are you're a melange of so many things. You're a delightful demographic neapolitan, Janine Brito.

Janine: I'm a big ol' mix, I'm a big ol' mutt. (Laughs)

***

Angel: You were a writer for Totally Biased with W. Kamau Bell, which of course was a show with a specific political message, and had a lot of other comedians on it, like Hari Kondabolu, who are all very politically minded...

Janine: Aparna Nancherla, Guy Branum, Nato Green, yeah.

Angel: Do you consider yourself a political comedian?

Janine: (Thoughtful pause) No. I just care about politics in my own life. And then, I think because of what and who I am…

Angel: Being honest and true about who you are is in and of itself a political act.

Janine: Yeah. But eventually it won't be, fingers crossed! I just wanna talk about dumb stuff… I have conflicted feelings about the term “political comedian” because I did activism in college, I did labor organizing in college, and just knowing what that was like and the people I worked with through that, what that life was like, and then knowing what the comedy world is like... You can’t compare that kind of work to what you do as a boots-on-the-ground activist. It’s much more difficult than being a comedian and talking about things on stage. I like I feel like entertainers in the world get all the glory and we're doing two percent of the work.

Angel: Yeah, I've started getting a little bit more involved in local anti-fascist groups and community outreach and stuff and realized, “oh yeah this is the stuff that actually affects people” rather than just going on Twitter and saying "fuck Trump.”

Janine: The work is hard and boring. So, yes, I talk about this stuff, but, I feel weird saying I'm an activist as a comedian.

Angel: But, I mean you can be an activist and a comedian, but not necessarily an activist as a comedian...

Janine: I mean, there's room for all that. It's a sort of activism.

***

Angel: You have this very specific masc style to your presentation that you once called a "This Is Not For You Costume.” That was in response to straight guys catcalling you.  

Janine: Yes (chuckles).

Angel: When did your personal style start to coalesce in your mind?

Janine: I was a big tomboy as a kid. My root memory of it is from when I was five: I had a tiny little blue blazer that I loved and I wore all the time. My mom made me get rid of it when it reached my elbows and I couldn't move my arms (laughs).

Angel: What did you like about that blazer?

Janine: It just... felt right when I put it on. I felt very smart. Not, like, intellect smart but like, "Oh I look very smart." It just felt comfortable.

Angel: So so there was this specific confidence that came to you through that manner of dress.

Janine: Yes, immediately. But after that I was very girly in high school... Fairly schlubby in college (laughs)... and I didn't come out until I was 21.

Angel: Everybody had the schlubby phase in college! I wore sweatpants every day!

Janine: Yeah, and it was bad. Also when you're doing activism, especially in college you dress... I know that's part of why you did this project...

Angel: Yeah, I mean, the kernel of it was when I went to an anti-fascist meeting in downtown L.A, and I had my blazer on, I could see there were some people were looking at me with a bit of a side eye, because, oh, obviously I'm dressed like the enemy to them!

Janine: So, I came out when I was 21 and then the next couple of years were a struggle style wise. That was the discovery period.

Angel: What were some of the things you experimented with?

Janine: Just like... So many hoodies and graphic t-shirts.

Angel: That just sounds like you were experimenting with improv, though! (laughs)

Janine: Yeah, it was bad. I look at pictures and I looked atrocious. Then I moved to San Francisco, and I was like “oh we're doing this here!” and I always wanted to do this!

Angel: “This” being...

Janine: Being, like, a very bookish librarian, like Giles from Buffy, masculine...

Angel: The Tweed Lesbian!

***

Janine: I just like dressing up, putting a little bit of effort into it. I don't wear jewelry, so ties and handkerchiefs are my accessories, a fun way to add flare or pop.

Angel: I feel the same way, when I wear my suspenders and tie clip, and then align my tie clip with my suspender buckles.

Janine: And it’s so much fun!

Angel: So do you feel like there's a self-care aspect to it?

Janine: Oh, absolutely. Yeah totally self-care. Then I like just a nice tweed jacket, a little bit of structure in it... I like playing with silhouette to make my shape look a specific way.

Angel: What kind of shape do you like to build?

Janine: I have a very Cuban woman body, and that draws attention to me in a way that I don't enjoy in my public life. In my private life? (tongue click and finger guns) Let's get it going, this is what you get, congratulations! But in public life, I'm like “no, you don't get this side of me.”

Angel: Draw attention away from the butt...

Janine: Yeah, away. I try to make myself look less hourglass and a little bit more like, "Hello, I'm here to sell insurance!" But stylish.

Angel: So do you think--and this is getting heady and liberal arts here--by specifically de-sexualizing your appearance you're reclaiming a little bit of sexual agency in that way?

Janine: Yes. It's hiding my sexual appearance and showing it at the same time. It's hiding my sexual appearance from what I know a cis man would be interested in, because that's not what I want to attract, and it's very specifically like dressing myself in a way to signal to women that I'm gay.

Angel: Are there specific details beyond just dressing masc that you feel are like signals to other lesbian women?

Janine: I feel like the majority of lesbians in L.A. are “cool lesbians.” They're very Silverlake, like "we're all cool here," haircuts that are all jaggedy. They look like Joan Jett in a beanie, like a lot of ripped clothes. I think there's, beyond clothing, there's just a general way that [lesbian] women carry themselves. There's a little bit more of a swagger, a languid ease about them.

Angel: Do you feel like inhabiting your style of dress allows you to inhabit that same physical attitude?

Janine: Yeah, but I'm signaling that I'm way more neurotic than all of the cool lesbians!

Angel: You're signaling that you are part of the club but you're not part of that same aggressive mentality.

Janine: Yeah yeah.

Angel: Oh my God, you're a lesbian beta male! (laughs)

Janine: (Laughs) Just a real cuck.

Angel: Total libtard cuck.

***

Angel: What are some self-care rituals you have beyond clothing? Like, if you have a day where you've got some time to pamper yourself, what do you like to do?

Janine: I go get my fade touched up, which I'm doing Thursday, and I love a hot shower. The drought's been very difficult (laughs). I go to the Korean spa sometimes and just soak in the tub, just hot water. I love water. I don't know if It's like a Miami thing, I’m just a total water baby.

Angel: We are children of water.

Janine: Yes! I love the beach which, the beach here, it's not the beach.

Angel: No it's not. My my girlfriend is from Boston and she can go into the water here...

Janine: It's freezing!

Angel: Oh yeah, exactly. It’s too cold, even in the middle of the summer.

Janine: It's gross, it's gross, it's gross water! Yeah, so, a lot of water. I'll pamper myself, I'll get a fade...

Angel: What salon do you like to go to?

Janine: Oh, it's great, it's called Folklore! It's on Mohawk and Silverlake and it's queer-owned and has queer barbers and stylists. Anyone can come in. It's totally open to all all genders and all identities, and everyone there is just really nice and cool.

Angel: Do you have any particular brands that you like to buy where giving them money means contributing to a cause or group or something?

Janine: You know, when I can afford it, I like to buy Brooks Brothers because they're union-made. They have a great line of shirts that last a long time. I have little stores that I found, like my jackets come from this little thrift store in Oakland called Bambino that's run by a bunch of tiny elderly Italian women.

Angel: I’ve found thrift stores are definitely one of the best ways to be a conscious consumer. I got the shirt that I have on right now from Out of the Closet.

Janine: Oh yeah! And they do great work!

Angel: My girlfriend went there and she was like, "They have so many Torrid dresses!!" They had a better selection then specifically plus-sized consignment shops that she's been to. How much first-hand retail versus thrifting do you do when building a wardrobe?

Janine: Thrifting is generally for jackets, sometimes trousers. First-hand, I generally do button-down shirts, because I sweat like crazy, I sweat so badly. My shirts get yellow and dingy quickly, so I run through them so quickly and I can't start with a shirt that's been worn by someone else. I have to start fresh. Ties and bow ties... It's a mix, it's half and half generally. This tie is from this shop called Fine and Dandy in New York, in Hell's Kitchen. It's owned by these two gay guys, and they like they pretty much go out and collect stuff from artists. This tie they made themselves, and they're so sweet.

Angel: Fine and Dandy from the self-described “dandy lesbian dandy.”

***

Angel: So you started doing comedy basically around the time you came out.

Janine: Yeah.

Angel: Were the two connected at all?

Janine: No. They weren't. I had wanted to do stand-up for a long time. The first year that I started I was closeted on stage.

Angel: Really?

Janine: Yeah. Eventually, as I was just out in my life, I was like "well I'm gonna talk about this."

Angel: Did you feel like stand up was helpful at all in your coming out, as a coping mechanism, or was most of the emotional battle fought offstage?

Janine: I would say so.

Angel: So what drew you to comedy?

Janine: I just always loved it growing up. My dad was a super funny guy. He was very social. He could walk into any room and hold court and have everyone laughing. He's always been my hero, so just from watching and I was like “I want to I want to be able to do that!”

Angel: You wanted to be a funny person.

Janine: Yeah, but I was always very quiet, so I think standup was a very controlled environment where I could think of things to say beforehand, and I have a microphone, and I can be confident in a very specific way.

Angel: So when was the first time you went on stage dressed in your current style?

Janine: Right when I got to San Francisco. I  scrapped everything I had worked on [in my stand-up] and started over, and I think because I did that and I was growing into myself, style and appearance-wise, what I wanted to look like, the two coincided for me.

Angel:  Tell me about how your presentation affects how you feel onstage, beyond how it gives you something to talk about.

Janine: I mean, I just feel way more confident dressed this way. A little bit protected. It's very controlled, like, "this is how I want to present myself." I think it speaks to what I said earlier, I feel less objectified in this way. You know, it does affect the way that I behave, [makes me] a little bit more masculine, and, I think, unfortunately, I avoid a lot of the bullshit.

Angel: People don't project a lot of the rules of what a feminine comedian should or shouldn't say on stage?

Janine: I feel like I can get on stage looking like this, and even though I am a woman, people are like "hey, it's one of the guys" and I can just get right into it and have a bravado that I think would be more difficult to occupy if I happened to dress feminine.

Angel: Interesting. Even though even though you're a masc-presenting lesbian, you don't strike me as somebody who's ashamed of femininity or being female, so what are the ways you like to express your femininity through this mode that you’ve chosen?

Janine: I feel like it happens more offstage, for sure. I feel like I do it much more in my private life. When I dance, I feel like I dance very feminine. I mean it's more like a gay man, which I feel like, it's weird, but that feels feminine to me.

Angel: Do you think that maybe just because that's how you learned to dance?

Janine: Maybe. I mean, I learned I learned salsa and merengue growing up, but it was following, the woman's role.

Angel: So you're a better Cuban than me. I didn't learn how to do that until I went to college.

***

Angel: Random thought, but I'm just thinking, with Paul F. Tompkins rising into prominence, being a comedian who has a certain style of dress on stage, do you think that maybe we might see a shift in the visual style of the standup comic, a little bit of a return to the formality of old?

Janine: I think so.

Angel: As a response to the schlubby hoodie/t-shirt thing that's dominated for years?

Janine: I think there's always going to be the grungy folks but I think I'm definitely been seeing some people return to a suit and tie. Me, you, Reid Faylor, you know, Rhea Butcher and Cameron Esposito, then a lot of women, like Lane Moore does a great mix of high fashion and a very punk rock [look]. April Richardson, Kathryn Way, I think, are women who dress a little bit more.

Angel: Are you still, outside of comedy, involved in any kind of activism or any organizations?

Janine: I haven't been for a while. Once I left college, I stopped. I kind of fell off with the laborer community, not for any reason, I've just been focusing more on comedy and traveling and stuff. But as of late, since the election, I have been going to a lot of protests, and talking to Nato about different ways to get involved, so I've been doing the protests and the calls every day and all that stuff, but I have an idea that I'm hoping to get off the ground...

Angel: Yeah?

Janine: And I don't know how to do it... I think what we need to do besides protesting, petitioning, calling... The marked and sustained shift is going to be with door to door canvassing, person-to-person engagement and education which, for myself... I have social anxiety, that terrifies me. I know a lot of people feel that way. It's intimidating for a lot of folks, so given that necessity and that a lot of people are reluctant to do it, I want to figure out some sort of app or group that combines dating and social activities, so like a Tinder group outing scenario with politics. The idea is people would sign up, it would backdoor connect to their Facebook and collect their info, you know, use that evil for good, and pool them into groups with other compatible people.

The meetups and the dates would be, you know, phone banking or canvassing, so the the activity itself would be activism, but it would be grouped together with people that you would be more likely to hit it off with. If you do a certain number of actions you can earn invitations to larger social events, so it's a way to incentivize activism.

Angel: That's a good idea, because a lot of people are like "I don't want to do it by myself."

Janine: Exactly. They might not be able to convince some friends they already know to go out with them, but if they're like “oh I'm going to show up to this thing and I'm whatever percent compatible with these people, it's going to be a fun time and I'll get to meet new folks.”

Angel: Alright, any developers reading this who want to get in on that, hit Janine up!

***

Angel: Any other thoughts you want to leave the readers of Dapper and Woke with?

Janine: A gentleman, no matter their gender, always carries a comb, a handkerchief, and a pen. A comb because you can do yourself up, a pen so you can write things down or sign a petition, and then a handkerchief to mop your own brow when you're fighting for the revolution or to hand to someone in need.

Angel: Fuck yes, that's great! I want that to be Dapper and Woke's equivalent to “don't panic” on the back to the Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy.

[savetopnow]

2018-03-22 01 MUSIC now

MUSIC

Brooklyn Vegan

stream Yamantaka // Sonic Titan's new album 'Dirt'

Bruce Springsteen extends Broadway run through December

Lollapalooza 2018 lineup (Jack White, Arctic Monkeys, The National, Vampire Weekend, St Vincent, more)

stand-up show Whiplash moving from UCB to Union Hall

watch Father Murphy's video for a medley of pieces from their final album

Consquence of Sound

King Tuff recruits Jenny Lewis for soulful new single “Thru the Cracks”: Stream

Sting and Shaggy to perform concert for Queen Elizabeth II

Ranking: Every Wes Anderson Movie from Worst to Best

Lollapalooza reveals 2018 lineup: Jack White, Arctic Monkeys, Vampire Weekend among highlights

Saba contemplates mortality on new song “Life”: Stream

Fact Magazine

Django Django – Against The Clock

Boxed releases free five year anniversary compilation

Singles Club: Burial and The Bug start a dirty dub fire as Flame 1

Blawan announces debut album, Wet Will Always Dry

London’s Southbank Centre launches new club night, Concrete Lates

Fluxblog

I Loved And I Lost

Very Nice Very Nice

To Be Lucky Once

The Sun In Your Cold World

Took Me For A Ride

Idolator

Lost Hit: Demi Lovato’s “Wildfire” Should Have Been A Single

Dua Lipa Performs “IDGAF” & “New Rules” On ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live!’

Fashionable Queen: Britney Spears Announces New Brand Deal With Kenzo

Kelly Clarkson Overcomes Her Past In Her “I Don’t Think About You” Video

Coming Soon: Shawn Mendes Teams Up With Spotify To Tease New Music

Listen to This

Born Without Bones - Rough Terrain [indie rock] 2013

Paus -- Madeira [Alternative Rock] (2018)

Nichts - Tango 2000 [New Wave] (1982)

The Equatics - Merry Go Round [Chilled Soul]

Rosin Coven -- Magpies [dark cabaret/jazz]

Popjustice

Paloma Faith’s branded content is better than your branded content

Saluting the artwork for PRETTYMUCH’s Healthy

Louisa Johnson interview: “We went, ‘oh, fuck it, let’s just get drunk’”

Popjustice’s Spring Statement: Key Points

New Music Friday: Vera Blue’s Lady Powers are still strong

Reddit Music

M83 - Midnight City [Synthpop]

The Hollies - Air that I breathe [Pop/Rock]

Death - Symbolic [Metal] Happy Birthday Symbolic!

7 Seconds - 99 Red Balloons[old school hardcore punk]

Several months ago there was a concert at the Hollywood Bowl to celebrate Chester Bennington's life. Today is his birthday.

Rolling Stone

Watch Lion Babe Bask Among Mythological Sculptures in 'Honey Dew' Video

Lollapalooza 2018: Jack White, Bruno Mars, the Weeknd Lead Lineup

Bruce Springsteen Extends Broadway Run Through December 2018

Watch Camila Cabello Wield Electric Guitar in 'Never Be the Same' on 'Ellen'

Devo Detail Unique Memoirs Focusing on Brand and History

Slipped Disc

Biz news: LA Phil chief takes a second job

What a Vienna Philharmonic concertmaster really likes

Hilary Hahn has played 1,594 concerts

A New Yorker wins Leipzig’s Bach medal

Covent Garden quietly drops two commissions

Spotify Blog

Spotify Launches ‘Louder Together’ with First Multi-Artist Spotify Single Collaboration from Independent Stars Sasha Sloan, Nina Nesbitt and Charlotte Lawrence

Spotify Launches Self-Serve Advertising Platform in the UK and Canada

Spotify Announces Launch of Line-In

John Hancock and Spotify Give Runners Everywhere Access to Custom Playlists and Tips from Some of the World’s Fastest Marathoners

Spotify Kicks off Women’s History Month with the Launch of ‘Amplify,’ a New Hub Spotlighting Causes & Community Voices

We Are the Music Makers

Things to do musically while bored at work?

Any good easy and free music making programs?

Whats the practical differences and commonalities between the different types of saturation?

Where to find drum samples

As a one-man band (heavy metal), should I learn all instruments simultaneously or one at a time?

[blumfumpstravels]

Blumfump Diary: Day 1

          So, today, diary bruh, was fuckin’ fucked the fuck up. I was walking through London, where my parent’s vacation house is, and found this cafe, which was rad as fuck. I was like, “Whoa, this cafe’s rad as fuck!” and went inside. This was where i began my “entrepreneurial” activities for the day. This fancy-looking dude with a babe in each arm bought 20g of Blue Dream, but the bitch gave it straight to the fuckin’ popo! That snitch-ass motherfucker! The D.M.L.E. just said I needed to give them a 15% cut tho, so we chill. His main girl, who’s name is Circus or something, was a prissy bitch who tricked me into diving into the square’s fountain (after several joints of some strong-ass shit).

          Anyway, I was chillin’ in the cafe for an hour or two, with my new main man Baldur, an edgy draconian dude, when my life changed. In walks this girl; she was hot and tall with long, dark hair. she looked so... complex, and mysterious. I had to talk to her. I tried asking her about, like, her life, and stuff, but she only gave vague, edgy answers. I needed to know more, but she wasn’t having that shit. So... I did something I shouldn’t have, probably. I read her mind, kinda. It was then that I found out that it was the circus girl from before in disguise! I was heartbroken. I had just started believing in love at first glance, and it was ripped from my soul. Not to mention, every other memory was a threesome with the gross-ass snitch dude and the other chick from before (and they were into some major freaky business). On top of that, it seemed like she was fuckin’ pregnant (not surprising, given the shit they did daily)! What the living fuck is wrong with these people?

          I confronted circus girl. I mean, what should i have done? I told her that it was fucked up to play with a dude’s heart, and that she should probably stop fuckin’ like rabbits loaded with aphrodisiacs, what with the baby and all. She was furious, and didn’t even know about the pregnancy! She and one of her girls threatened me with a goddamn unforgivable to keep a secret, at which point we made a wand oath. Bruh. If I tell ANYONE about what I saw in her mind, I lose my magic forever. But she now has to be my bro, or she’ll lose her magic. Anyway, TL;DR, the snitch ass from earlier fuckin’ died, and now his girls formed a coven of revenge and evil (or some shit) to cope. Whatever works, man. I prefer the green, but to each their own, I guess. And now I was a part of a fuckin’ sadist witch coven, day one of my UK vacay.

          These girls meant business. first thing we did, found the dude who was supposed to protect the now dead dude with his life. At UCB, I learned how to seamlessly reattach any severed limb or body part with a spell, which gave the coven an idea. They cut his arms and legs off, joint by joint, starting with the finger and toe joints, until he was down to the hip or shoulder for each. Then, I reattached them all, and they started over. We turned this poor fuck into goddamn Legos! This was while he was under imperio AND crucio, as well. I also cast a spell to put growing, multiplying stones in his organs (cholethiasis). He doesn’t know it yet, but he will be having a VERY bad time in a few days.

          tbh, I’ve never seen inside the mind of a tortured dude before, and this was, obviously, a good chance. So I did it. I read the mind of the lego-crucio-stonegut-imperio dude. Turns out he was a vampire. In his mind, I read the secrets of vampire society one of which is that it must stay secret. I shouldn’t have read that. they know. For once in my life, money, beauty, and weed wouldn’t individually or collectively solve my problems. I am on the personal shit list of all vampire society.

TL;DR - I’m fucked. sooo fucked.

Blumfump P. Swirn 1/22/17

[tchesh31]

How to Make the Best Picture Nominations That Aren’t LA LA LAND Better

The Oscar nominations were announced today the last year before they are renamed the La La’s after La La Land fucking OWNS them. It’s over. Movies might be over. I don’t know, I’ll have to investigate further. That’s a pretty bold claim. 

What’s not bold? The other movies who were nominated this year. But what if they could compete? What if they had a chance? What if we lived in a reality where La La Land wasn’t on a clear path to winning 14 Academy Awards, the hearts and minds of our youth, the Daytona 500, and the democratic nomination in the 2020 presidential campaign? What if anybody else other than Damien Chazelle knew how to make a great movie? Well here you go. It’s not too late to change your films, other Best Picture nominees:

Arrival -  The big mistake here was having the aliens land in some podunk state I don’t even care about. Have them land over L.A.,  maybe threaten to destroy Jazz? Now that’s a flick that could win! Fences - Instead of building a fence metaphorically and literally… They built a chicken on a stick joint, but just literally.  Hacksaw Ridge - You know what else is a horrific battle? Maybe even a war? Navigating traffic in L.A. Especially when someone is filming one of the greatest opening scenes of all time on the interchange from the 105 to the 110.  Show me THAT story.  Hell or High Water - Texas is sort of close to L.A. Chris Pine is sort of close to Ryan Gosling. Jeff Bridges sounds like the personification of Jazz dying. Easy fix. Hidden Figures - What if they were solving how to turn left on green in L.A.? A much more difficult task than going to space.  Lion - What if it’s the story about a man looking to find the brother he lost on the way to their UCB student show?  Manchester by the Sea - You know what else is near a large body of water? That’s right, fucking Los Angeles. Idiots.  Moonlight - I think it was a real missed opportunity not to cast Ryan Gosling as adult Chiron and have him be really into Jazz. 

[theblacktivity-blog]

Taking The Stage

In these crazy times the ABC network special “Taking The Stage; African American Music and Stories That Changed America” was a reminder of a gallant history. It was at once a testament to the resilience of a people and in some ways, the constant invocation of that trait seem to quietly whisper to the viewers for whom it was meant: “we must begin  again to prepare ourselves”. In the main, it was a Black musical tribute celebration of the new Smithsonian National Museum of African American Art and Culture. But the panning of the camera’s throughout the Kennedy Center’s mostly Black and illustrious audience, (not the least of which included takes of President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama dancing harmoniously to the rhythms like college sweethearts reliving the conjured up memories brought on by the songs) gave it the air of pomp and circumstance. To a degree, it was the sort of thing that's met with a wink and a nod, in that it seemed very much like a celebratory send off to The First Couple and all that they mean to us in symbol and reality. And as each performer did the stage their justice, often times acknowledging the President and First Lady in the rafters, that love was radiated back in the form of warm appreciative smiles and what seemed like chest thumps and air daps sent telepathically...the Black way. The show opened up with a jovial Oprah Winfrey as host who exclaimed “Although I should open up the show by saying, ‘good evening everyone’, what I’d really like to say is hallelujah!”. Getting a rise out of the crowd as only Oprah can, and with the president and first lady looking on, she continued; "We’re here to celebrate, from our first days here as African Americans, we’ve left a record of how we felt and how we moved through life, from the spiritual side to the sexy side, life in all of its colors. Tonight is about music and it’s about memories and it’s about imagination and tonight is about taking the stage and changing America." What may have seemed on the surface like a typical awards show or tribute show introduction when looked at with more depth seemed more like a soft call to arms. It showed something of an acknowledgement of the days ahead and as usual, the role we as African Americans will have to play in bringing about and insuring justice.  Afterwards, the performances began to roll in. Beginning with a tribute to the legendary Black opera singer Marian Anderson, Mary J. Blige performed ‘My Country Tis’ Of Thee’ as a projected background of the Lincoln Memorial served to create the ambiance of the moment Anderson made history by singing on those very steps in 1939. Following was actor Jesse Williams, with an introduction to the musical form of ‘The Blues’. Amid the receding of thunderous applause, grew the somewhat tense silence of an audience more than likely familiar in some way or another with Williams’ strident and fiery oratory, the very type displayed at the 2016 BET Awards. Among the Black faces in the crowd were white ones as well, some celebrities, some carrying an air of quiet importance, all of whom visibly appeared to be on either end of a black to white spectrum. They either seemed genuinely engaged with the words of Williams as he linked the history of ‘The Blues’ to the dark legacy of chattel slavery, or developed that reddish blush indicated when some whites anxiously await guilt (real or perceived) to be transmitted into their souls via the rhetorical barbs of the smart or “radical” Black man in-residence. The air was broken when Gary Clark Jr. performed a number in the blues tradition followed by a performance by the Alvin Ailey Dance Troupe of the lyric ‘Wade In The Water’. In the lead up to the first commercial brake was an article on display at the Smithsonian National Museum of African American Art & Culture entitled; “Bill of Sale of a slave”. It’s a record dating back to 1835,  detailing the sale of a slave (more than likely a fair skinned woman) between the seller a local judge, and the buyer, both from Arkansas, right around the time when slavery was beginning to expand further westward. This intermission was timely as it highlighted the historic ills from which such a racially divided nation sprung. Then, as the show continued there was a moment of awkwardness. The type that makes one say to oneself; “And....exactly why is this?”. Dave Grohl  (former drummer for the legendary band Nirvana and Foo Fighters founder and guitarist...rock renaissance man) joined the stage with legendary go-go icon Trouble Funk as a tribute to the musical form that has its origins in the nation’s capital. Granted, Grohl did grow up near the D.C. area (northern Virginia more specifically Alexandria) and may have very well been influenced by the art form, it just seemed out of place. One wonders why not UCB and Trouble Funk? That would have been appropriate and more in tune with Washington D.C.’s historic sound. Instead what happened is overbearing guitar and vocal riffs that overpowered the very percussive rhythms for which go-go is known. Whether that was a producer or network choice, who knows? In any event it had the slight air of paternalism (no fault of Grohl to be sure) that tends to occur when white America feels the need to awkwardly force itself into spaces in the name of an over-the-top proof of solidarity with Black culture. I mean all due respect to the white brothers and sisters who are really down. Let’s be clear, we appreciate those who truly are, the Black delegation fucks with you! But sometimes we would rather you refrain from messing up the beat. Post that incident, Fantasia took us down home with her rendition of Aretha Franklin’s 1967 song Dr. Feelgood. Such a performance from the North Carolina bred songstress reminded us that there is indeed a difference between singing and sangin’. Usher’s tribute to the late great James Brown left nothing to be desired as he slid, glided, and jump-split his way all over the stage in the way only he could, clad in the flyest damn black tuxedo I’ve ever seen. Then there was another awkward “huh?” moment, albeit less than the go-go performance. Actor Tom Hanks introduced the 7 surviving members of the legendary Tuskegee Airmen. Of all the tributes of the night, this one was undoubtedly the most moving as their wasn't a dry eye in the house as Hanks described the story men despised by their country for the color of their skin, even as they shot down America’s enemies abroad in record numbers. The airmen, some walking some in wheelchairs and all who looked incredibly well kept (Black don’t crack ya’ll) were then met by Fmr. General and Secretary of State Colin Powell who gave an emotional salute and greeted each man with an embrace and handshake. A moving moment indeed but also one that begged the question; “Why wasn’t Colin Powell himself slated to tell that story in addition to everything else?”. At the very least if they wanted an actor to introduce the story, why not someone like Lawrence Fishburne? After all, he was casted in the original movie about the Tuskegee Airmen circa 1995. No disrespect to Tom Hanks (one of my favorite actors by the way) but it just seemed like yet another example of that paternalistic brand of altruism. Afterwards the gorgeous Angela Basset led an introduction of tributes to singers Billie Holiday, Lena Horne, Ethel Waters, Sarah Vaugh, and Nina Simone which were performed by various artist including Christina Aguilera and accompanied by jazz musician Robert Glasper on piano. At break, we were introduced to yet another artifact on display at what will henceforth called the “Black Smithsonian”, rock-n-roll founder Chuck Berry’s candy apple red 1973 Cadillac El Darado. Little was mentioned about Berry being the founder of the musical form of rock-n-roll as we know it, instead the break opted to say the he was “influential” in early rock-n-roll. I noted that, duly. The convenient avoidance of the fact the Elvis Presley stole practically every move he had from Chuck Berry....but I’ll move on. Usher graced the stage once more to give tribute to the role of Black athletes in America including a montage of Jesse Owens, Muhammad Ali, Jackie Robinson, Arthur Ashe (Rich--what! Richmond!), Althea Gibson, Juan Carlos, Tommie Smith, and a host of others past and present. In usual form, comedian Chris Tucker took the stage to lead into what would be NeYo’s best Michael Jackson rendition. It was yet another reminder of just how big a hole that loss will always be in the world of entertainment at large and the Black community. While NeYo in true fashion did ‘The King’ much justice...it’s just not the same. P.S. The person that didn’t think to schedule the Prince tribute there after should definitely be demoted, possibly fired. The incomparable comedian Dave Chappelle, broke the seriousness of the moment as only he could with some sharp and socially observant zingers before his piece honoring the tradition and importance of Black humor. From Moms Mabley, to Dick Gregory, to Redd Foxx, to Richard Pryor and Eddie Murphy, the montage provided reminded us of the role of Black comedy in the analysis and coping with life in an often absurd America. Janelle Monae did her part prefacing the Motown sound that brought Black soul music to “mainstream” America. Gladys Knight was honored and how better to honor the honor the legendary soulstress than the Ms. Knight herself, leading the crowd in the classic “Midnight Train To Georgia”. John Legend followed, tapping into his inner Marvin Gaye with a rendition of “What’s Going On?” in his signature staccato voicing, as perfectly timed a song as it was when Marvin first wrote it. After a commercial break which included a commemoration of the revolutionary Nat Turner (white America’s historic candy man) in which the Bible that Turner was caught with after the Southampton, VA insurrection was explained, the Blackness continued with a tribute to the jazz art form.  The legendary Herbie Hancock was introduced to the crowd by one of the coolest Black men on the planet in Samuel L. Jackson. Hancock performed the signature contortions and improvisations that make the art was it is from piano, to electronic synthesized keyboard as the crowd looked on in awe. Improvisation being a key trait of the Black experience as a whole, it was only right that jazz would be preceded by hip hop. Will Smith took the reigns by citing a Paul Lawrence Dunbar, Common cited Langston Hughes’ “I Too, Am America” Chuck D when into his legendary verse on “Fight The Power” as President Barack Obama mouthed along, and Doug E. Fresh set the proverbial “it” off when he laid as only he could the a vocal percussive that would serve as an instrumental to “The Message”. The crowd clapped and lip synched along; don’t push me/cause I’m close to the edge/I’m tryin, not to lose my head/a huh huh huh huh/it’s like a jungle sometimes/that make’s me wonder/how I keep from going under. I watched on wondering if those in the crowd (more particularly the white folks) yet understood poignancy of Melly Mel’s words after almost four decades. Arguably hip hop’s most famous bridge, this is in varying degrees, the Black experience in America summed up. Essentially a hip hop version of writer James Baldwin’s quote that; “To be a Negro in this country and to be relatively conscious is to be in a rage almost all the time”. With an inward chuckle, my inner Mr. T pitied the fools. Ending the night were actress Octavia Spencer and Stevie Wonder. Spencer played her part introducing us to that timbre, that down home sound that we know as gospel.  After the pleasantries, Donnie McClurkin graced the stage joined by the legendary Howard University Gospel Choir in a performance that was so good it should’ve been followed by 1st Sunday church basement potato salad after. Thereafter Beyoncé protégés Chloe and Halle led the crowd in a soulful and vocally mature version of “There Eye Is On The Sparrow” that was certainly another check off of the list in a series of performances in which the duo should aptly be considered soul music’s generation next. Of course though, what is a tribute to gospel without the incomparable Rev. Shirley Ceasar! As she always does Ceasar the lit the stage as only a traditional down home Reverend and gospel icon can, sweat dripping from the forehead and all, as she too was joined by Howard University’s gospel choir. After catching the holy ghost like Julio Jones in one on one man coverage, the crowd welcomed none other than Stevie Wonder onto the stage. Breaking into his classic “Higher Ground” he was joined on stage by all the performers and guest as he beat the piano up like self defense. Such an ending seemed to serve as a signal to Black America at large, that this musical and cultural tribute would've been best summed up by the words of Kendrick Lamar: “we gon be alright!”.

[terribletwenties]

Turning Back, Looking Forward, and Every New Year’s Resolution In Between

2016 was finally put to its forever bed last night, so we can all stop blaming a grouping of four numbers for all the terrible things that happened during the past twelve months (THANK GAWD). I won’t dwell on the negative elements because it’s truthfully well worn territory, and frankly, not really my style. 

The major highlights for me include starting and sending 27 issues of my newsletter, There’s a Grown Up In My Mirror. I would have liked to have sent 52, signifying that I met my goal of a weekly email, but you know what, life is busy and goals aren’t always attainable on the first try. I’m proud that I was able to do half that amount with enough trial and error that I can try again with more insight in 2017. Subscribe to find out more!

I was able to carve out a new marketing and communications department at my company that I will lead this year as the Director of Marketing, which sounds more boss lady and grown up than I feel on the inside. It was incredibly hard work to achieve this, performing two jobs at once for the last quarter of the year in order to make it happen. I was met with new professional challenges that taught me more about who I am as a manager and a leader than any year of my career ever has. I ended the year grateful that I am able to work at a place that instills trust and confidence in my visions and affords me the space to be able to execute on them.

I was published in Refinery29! This was a dream publication to see my byline once, let alone five times. The only reason this was possible was because of the support of another female writer friend who made a connection for me. It was a reminder that you should never be jealous of successful women (or people for that matter); but rather celebrate and admire them and they will help lift you too. Remember that there’s enough of everything to go around, so take a chill pill, spread positivity and always help a sister out. My article on picking out my own engagement ring went *mildly* viral, but the internet wanted to rip me apart for not wanting to use the word fiance. It’s ok, because I have a blog to poke holes in trolls. 

I started and hosted a monthly storytelling show called Tales From the Deep Dark Web, while also performing in several other live storytelling shows with incredible talent. I took several storytelling, writing and improv classes. I auditioned for and was placed on my second UCB Mess Hall improv team with a bunch of funny, amazing people. And, this past week, I hosted a nearly sold out storytelling show at UCB. An hour before the show I was freaking out, nervous, and wondering why I put myself through this. Why can’t I just be happy working and living my life withut trying to *be creative*? As  I walked onto stage looking out at a packed house, I remembered why. Hopefully, I can continue this show in 2017. 

One year ago today, I wrote this blog post about getting a crazy bloody nose that set me on a path to making it my year of health. I’m proud to say that I made good on this self promise and in 2016 I saw an ENT, dermatologist, dentist, internist, chiropractor, gynecologist, ophthalmologist, therapist and acupuncturist/herbalist. I got a physical, two blood panels, and started the process of trying to figure out how to try to balance my hormones naturally. After three years without stepping foot into the gym, I joined Equinox for an ungodly amount of money and actually go multiple times a week because I’m fucking paying for it.

I traveled so much this year (for me, anyway)! I went to New Orleans twice, Portland, New York twice, Cape Cod, the Sierra Mountains, and Las Vegas, even though traveling gives me and my boyfriend serious anxiety. I had to fly by myself twice, inspiring me to take a solo bachelorette party this year (taking suggestions now!)

This was my first full year without my best friend living in Los Angeles, after moving to New Orleans. I visited her twice last year, and she came to LA twice –– once as a surprise to celebrate my engagement. Even though we text every single day, and talk on the phone for hours like thirteen year old, it’s difficult. I miss wandering around the mall, watching bad Bravo shows, and generally having the company of a platonic better half, even though I am so happy she made an adventure out of her life and tried something new when the old thing (LA not me) wasn’t working.

Oh...and I got engaged! Jacob surprised me with a proposal that knocked my socks off. Now we have to plan a giant, expensive party to celebrate our decision to give forever a go. We’ve barely done any planning and are having a difficult time getting motivated or finding the time to do anything wedding related aside from finding the perfect venue...but I think our grace period is officially over. I’m not really feeling the whole “bride” thing. It’s really stressful making decisions, knowing you only get one day to get it right, and pleasing everyone in your family. And I know that’s all totally OK, but here’s hoping I at least start having some fun with it.

In 2017, I have some resolutions, but I’ll keep it to twenty. I’m about quality, not quantity this year!

Take my cats to the vet for check ups and get their teeth cleaned

Read 3 novels (this feels like such a sad number, but I’m trying to be realistic)

Blog at least once a week 

Throw less food away because it went bad in the fridge

Make time for family

Subscribe to major news outlets and donate money/time to organizations that promote equality and freedom

Spend less, save more (like, a lot more if I want a house)

Maintain the commitment to my health I showed in 2016

Send my newsletter weekly

Figure out what joint finances means 

Have fun planning my wedding

Finish and send my book proposal to lit agents

Write and perform a one person show

Go to the gym at least 3 times a week

Accept and forgive myself when I’m not creatively motivated

Be a meaningful mentor and leader at work

Create something at work that didn’t exist before

Oh man, should I start a podcast?

Book a fucking awesome honeymoon

Let things be messy for longer than I’d like