#making non perfect characters is what makes the game fun ofc

[maskeddiany]

I once made a post saying how fun it was to recreate characters in Rimworld

the downside of this thought is being accurate with their traits/stats

gonna put an example with OCs under the cut so it doesn't bother a lot

look at these 3 silly guys

-Gritt is the only one with social skills bc both Ragz and Rune are traumatized </3 (also kinda fun that Gritt is technically an ancient golem so they probably speak in some ancient english which makes the situations weirder)

-Gritt is actually the colonist with most skills (bc it always has been the defender of their villager) so if he haves a breakdown practically the whole colony falls apart bc the other's can't help him

-Both Rune and Ragz share the ugly trait (our lad Gritt doesn't care bc he's ascetic) so even more reasons why they can't socialize. And to add spice Ragz haves the anxious trait so his isolations can be inconvenient

-None of them knows how to use a ranged weapon (bc they're based off pokémon and for my luck all of them are physical attackers) nor know how to pet an animal

-Only Ragz can cook because the others eat rocks. (this one's not character-accurate but kinda makes sense lol)

[thighguys]

Phan Fic Recs #3!!

here is the requested long fic list! these are all 100k+, not all of them are finished (i didn't put any on here that aren't actively updating tho) and all of them are SO good so i hope you enjoy :)

Silver Arrows To The Heart by @evermorepeyton (137k WIP)- this one is a duplicate from the other list but there might be a few on here, ignore that<3 anyway this fic is AMAZING!!! dan and phil formula 1 drivers au- they're both on Mercedes and lots of awesome teammates to lovers hijinks ensue<3 this one gets a special shoutout for having some fantastic female characters (who are dare i say just as intriguing as dnp themselves?) and also bc the author is a beautiful human who i love<3 a super fun fic and very in character for both of them (somehow lmao, you wouldnt expect it with racecar drivers but somehow it works so well)

dancing on the blades (you set my heart on fire) by kishere (123k)- imagine all the 2009 phan lore but if dan and phil were figure skaters. yep, it's a yuri on ice au where dan scores a spot in the famous Lester training gym and meets phil, who is one of the most well known figure skaters in england<3 fantastic fantastic fic, such perfect vibes and lots of great lester family cameos<3

Strictly Come Dancing but make it GAY! by @natigail (176k)- the final duplicate from the medium list<3 this fic is AMAZING!!!! this is the one that got me back into phanfic in general afterhaving not read any for about 6 years, it's a strictly come dancing au where phil is a hot pro dancer and dan is a celebrity/gay activist, and they accidentally become the first gay couple to compete in scd<3 FANTASTIC outfit and dance descriptions, i listened to all the songs while reading it and it was honestly so lovely i felt like i could see it so clearly<3 also- the lore references are AMAZING lol i felt like a pro every time i found a little easter egg. amazing fic, i HIGHLY recommend it<3

A Semester Abroad by @everything-is-as-it-was (162k WIP)- this one is really fun!! lots of domestic phouse vibes as it is about an american college student who gets stranded in England after a study abroad housing situation falls through and who gets accidentally taken in by these two random british guys with a REALLY weird house... sooo funny, it's really quite cute and i highly recommend giving it a read! I love outsider pov and this has an abundance of funny moments because dnp are Weird

Broke, Gay and New in Town by @natigail (347k)- do you want the softest, cutest, most magical and compelling story to ever exist??? literally look no further because right here is the dan and phil stardew valley au and it is SO CUTE!!! dan inherits a farm from his grandfather and decides to ditch his boring life to go and run it, and he has so many adventures along the way. oh yeah phil is there too and hes SO CUTE and they fall in love :3 seriously so cute, also you don't need stardew valley knowledge to enjoy this it is independently perfect (i have never played the game and actually learned what it was From this fic so ur good lol)

linger on by dizzy, waveydnp (184k)- this one is so so so sweet... non youtuber au where 33yo phil has been living with his parents, but when his dad dies his mom decides to sell the house and phil has to find somewhere new to live. so ofc he becomes roommates with some guy called dan, and ummm they fall in love? honestly they are SO perfect in this fic, i adore it<3 highly recommend

L'Histoire Française by danfanciesphil (105k)- suuuuper fun teachers au! phil is a history professor and dan is his TA. this fic is SO FUN!!!! genuinely adore it lol, it's one of the first phan fics i ever read and it has stayed with me forever<3

So Many Stars by transdimensional_void (152k)- another teachers au :) dnp meet when they both become english teachers at a school in japan and this is VERY cute <3

okay there's the list!! sorry this one is shorter than the others haha, there are too few long fics in the phandom :( but all of these are so so lovely and i hope you enjoy! lol some distractions may be needed during these trying times <3

[genlirema]

Do Silver the hedgehog!!

How I feel about this character

Underrated as hell round II: Sonic Boogaloo

I think compared to Eusine the wasted potential is greater here, for while Eusine got a bittersweet yet satisfying conclusion to his story, Silver...never really did? Silver symbolizes a hope for the future, no matter how distant or scary it may seem, yet his story and reputation had to be tarnished by a rushed and convoluted story c':

I mean tbf, I can see why his character could get overshadowed by a bunch of other optimistic characters like Tails or the main man Sonic himself, but...do you know how many crises could've been avoided if Silver was just...there??? Like...he had the potential to be the clairvoyant of the future like Morty, and they just...forgot??? About him??? (although tbf I can also see the problem with Silver being the clairvoyant as well and just spoiling everything for everyone, it really depends on the writing too. Also I say "clairvoyant" but I can't find a better term for "character from the future who already saw what happened and can travel through time to warn others" so c':)

The trio with Sonic, Shadow, and Silver was perfect! The symbol of Present, Past, and Future, respectively! I know Silver's character isn't that much different than Sonic, but he still had a unique background and motivations, dammit, you could still work around to make his character stand out (I mean they tried in Forces...I think c':). Compared to the other two, he seems more laid back, and his powers were unique enough to have him stand out too. Why did they let such great potential go to waste ;-;

All the people I ship romantically with this character

honestly it's not my otp but I will admit Blaze x Silver is kinda cute. I can also see him with Infinite for some reason...before they botched his character in the games and gave him the edgy mask ofc c':

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Blaze

Sage

Tails ig

Cream why not

Knuckles?

He can be the fun little crossover buddy too I'd like to see him with the FUN Gang from Deltarune or Jasper from Steven Universe before they botched her character-this is gonna be a running gag isn't it c':

My unpopular opinion about this character

SONIC GENERATIONS X SILVER, SEGA. THAT'S YOUR NEXT MOVE. IF YOU CAN REMAKE THE GAME WITH SHADOW, YOU CAN DO IT WITH SILVER. PLEASE.

(Also I know he won't make it in the movies and I honestly don't mind/care about it, just...one more game with him as the deuteragonist, please. That's all I ask ;~;)

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon...

...Besides everything I've said above? c':

I mean idk if I explained it well in the beginning of this post but considering his debut game was apparently just a big time paradox, that makes him a walking time paradox as well. If you play your cards right with the writing, he could be like the Absol of Pokemon (or the Paradox Pokemon themselves if that makes any more sense), where his presence could signal a bad omen of what's to come, yet he could still assist Sonic in the fight for a better tomorrow. I don't know if I made this up or this was a real thing in one of the side games, but I think at one point they did change his backstory so that he was just...from the future, in general? Which could open a lot of story potential, if you think about it. A character who's actually seen it all, yet still defies the odds with a smile...that's what Silver was meant to be, I think.

[wetcatspellcaster]

Life has taken a weird turn and I got to read the last chapter of Pieces only now and daaamn, you made me cry! Even weirder, not by the fic itself but your notes at the end. I loved it all and I am very satisfied with Hemlock’s ending, very fine choice - I like how you de-romanticize the ritual and make it into something practical, let the romantic aftertaste linger for a bit and then give the characters the benefit of Rosalie being able to get bitten again to make them realize it was a good choice.

I came back to AHL, bejesus the Dryad scene… it made me cringe so hard in the game, especially that mine was with Orin (I had no idea it could be the actual Dryad lol). I feel weird reading it honestly, because I had fights like that in my life (about other stuff than my bf wanting to become vampire edgelord ofc but still) and well… you pin point it very well. It’s a weird out of body experience when you know exactly that what comes out from your mouth is absolutely vile and wrong but also on some level feels… good? And Astarion not being able to name that emotion is so so perfect. So, thank you for that, because even though my fights with my partner now are way more timid it’s good to be reminded where I come from and the amount of works I’ve done to not be that asshole.

hey beloved, thank you so much for reading!! I'm glad that you enjoyed the ending of Pieces! I personally can see the argument for killing Hemlock, but I don't think it fits with Astarion's non-ascendency characterisation for him to want to do so. It created a very fun and interesting dynamic to work through, where for the first time Rosalie was the one advocating for murder/retributive justice. I don't think my solution is perfect, but then, neither is releasing a bunch of feral spawn into the Underdark, and that's what I did in game :')

As for your second comment, thank you so much!! In my day to day, I am quite a nonconfrontational person - I have a new working therapy that I love writing arguments bc it's both something I don't get to do much so I don't bring baggage with me, but also there's the autistic wish-fulfilment of being able to script a whole fight before you have it and thus hit every beat PERFECTLY. (god i wish it were me).

BUT this means that the few times I have lashed out felt really, really good. It does make you feel powerful, and it's also freeing, particularly if you've let resentment bubble unspoken for a long time! So I guess my reply is both - thank you for validating my writing by saying it resonates with your experience (especially given that I was extrapolating), and also, I don't think it's unique or makes you uniquely an 'asshole' if it does resonate. I think it's a set of transferable skills everyone has lmfao

[funnywormz]

(a day late but) for the fandom asks, 3 for both lister and rimmer?

OMG FUCK YES also don't worry abt being late im always up for ask games they're a lot of fun hehe

putting this one under a readmore bc i have a lot to say lol

i will do lister first and rimmer second!

003 | give me a character and i will tell you...

how i feel about this character:

OUGH. i love lister so much. he's my favourite character for sure although rimmer is a close second. he's just such a fun silly guy but with this sad side to him....... i rlly appreciate how he's shown as tough and masculine and yet he's allowed to have hobbies like knitting and cry at romantic movies and care abt his friends without it being mocked. he's not a perfect person but i adore him anyways. very relatable at times as well lol. i also have a massive crush on him i think abt kissing him at least once a day hehehehehe

any/all the people i ship romantically with this character:

definitely rimmer ofc. maybe ace as well??? kinda??? but since ace is still just another rimmer idk if that even counts lmao. basically it's just rimmer

my favourite non-romantic relationship for this character/favourite friendship for this character (im combining these questions bc they're kinda the same thing?):

ouuuuuh probably his friendship with kryten? i love how he genuinely respects kryten and how kryten is so adoring of him. kryten is kinda like a weird mum to him and it's so so funny and cute they're so silly. it makes me happy whenever they interact, esp when kryten coddles him and is sweet with him despite lister being a grown man lmao.

also it's kinda cheating to use them twice but i love lister and rimmer's friendship in a platonic way as well. they're just always hilarious whenever they're onscreen together and the way they bounce off each other is extremely fun

my unpopular opinion about this character:

idk if this is rlly unpopular but i get a little frustrated by his inconsistent characterisation in the show, esp in s8 compared to other seasons. i get that he does whatever the writers think is funniest but sometimes he does or says something and im like ":( lister wouldn't say that......." even though he is literally saying it in canon lol

also i think he needs more love in the fandom maybe. or more fics abt him getting a hug or something. this dude is depressed and lonely as hell and it makes me so sad can rimmer give him a hug PLEASE

one thing i wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon:

i wish his relationship with kochanski had gotten a proper resolution/he could move on from her and stop pursuing her romantically....... ive made longer posts abt this before but i just feel like his initial crush on her was just a shallow schoolboy kind of crush and it feels like a disservice to both of them that he's still chasing after her after getting to know her and them clearly not being romantically compatible. like in some episodes they're best friends but then the writing goes back to having lister treat her like an object rather than a person and it irritates me. i wish they could just be friends bc i adore their friendship and when lister interacts with her in a platonic way it's clear that there's such a fun dynamic there but it was utilised so rarely :(

my crossover ship:

ohhhh i don't rlly tend to do crossover ships so this was a hard one....... not rlly a ship more of a friendship but i would love to see him interact with the doctor from dr who lol. ik it's kind of a predictable choice as a crossover bc they're both british sci fi but i think depending on the iteration of the doctor they could either get along rlly well or hate each other and either way it would be very very funny.

i also think it would be fun to do a disco elysium crossover sometime. i would love to know what he'd think of harry and kim, i have a feeling he'd get along rlly well with kim but maybe that's just me

OK NOW I WILL DO RIMSY >:-)

003 | give me a character and i will tell you...

how i feel about this character:

ohhh i hate him but i love him so much. an awful person but a great character and unfortunately very relatable sometimes. i want to hug him and hold him so gently but i also want to put him in a hydraulic press. out of all of the rd characters he's probably the one i think about the most unfortunately. you know how it is

any/all the people i ship romantically with this character:

lister of course! and ig some of the au listers, like the one in the rat universe lol. but really it's just the main lister tbh. i just can't see him with anyone else

my favourite non-romantic relationship/friendship for this character:

sorry but it's lister again lol. like his friendship with lister. their dynamic is just so fun, i think my all time favourite scenes are the ones where they're together....... moonlight and sunlight etc etc etc

my unpopular opinion about this character:

it's a pretty generic opinion but i don't believe that any of his attempts at flirting with women/seeming attracted to women in canon are genuine lol. it always feels very forced and unnatural to me. that man is a deeply closeted and confused gay boy and i can't see him any other way tbh. i think he WANTS to be straight so bad but he is not. not even a little bit

one thing i wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon:

i wish his character development would stick more! like ik he has to be bitchy for the comedy and that's fine im not saying he has to suddenly be nice or whatever but it's frustrating to see him grow a little bit as a person or overcome one of his insecurities only to go back to being even worse than before in the very next episode........ he is a little more mellow in later seasons than he was in the earlier ones but not by much, and i feel like things like learning abt his real father and going off to be ace and stuff should have had a real visible impact on him instead of just. not changing anything lol

my crossover ship:

once again. not rlly a ship thing but the disco elysium crossover. i just think it would be funny. he would probably try to schmooze up to kim and harry and get in their good books bc he sees them as being in a position of authority but i think he would secretly hate them so bad and it would probably be kinda obvious lmao. i think kim would absolutely despise him

also i want to lock him in a room with spamton deltarune for a few hours and see who goes insane first

[this-haunted-soul]

very cool ~ !! the love song's favorite taylor swift songs are all too well , the whole album of reputation , &+ more ~ !!!

buns special interests besides taylor swift's music are undertale , persona series , fnaf &+ oc making ... ocs mean so much to the master of the court ~ !! it's a little insane /silly

hyperfixations right now are revue starlight &+ finding new things out about bunself [ if that counts teehee ] , being on tumblr helped bun a lot so ~ !!!

interests in general are all sorts of things ~ !!! any game that bun has played recently but also making rentries &+ genders are soooo fun for bun ~ !!!

the questions fai will ask now are what are your favorite things / comfort characters ? and do you have anything big in your personal life coming up [ that you feel comfortable sharing ofc ~ ! ] bun has choir contest so bun has been practicing non stop for it ~ !!! teehee ^_^

- 🎀

Favorite Taylor swift album has to be speak now , not a single bad song in there !

Oooh there is choir regional competitions coming up in about a week !!! Esper is very nervous for she hasn ' t even started on her song , you and I are very different in that aspect ! She had to join for choir credit or else she ' d lose her grade ,, There is also a winter formal that she is looking forward to as there is a very specific dress she is getting that would be perfect for it !!

Comfort characters are very easy for Esper to think of !! Akutagawa , Oda , and Sigma from Bungou stray dogs are major comforts and she sees Akutagawa much like a brother ,, she also has many genshin comforts such as all the playable children , gorou , Shenhe , Signora , and albedo ( Esper has an albedo pin board and gets notifs about it at least once a day ,, ) . Characters from other media include Kotoko , amane , and Haruka from milgram , Violet Evergarden , Shoko nishimiya , and a few others she cannot currently remember !

[romilly-jay]

Free Guy: If The Truman Show was a Game Featuring Ryan Reynolds

***spoilers***

I'd forgotten (of course) but Free Guy was one of those movies that got bumped multiple times because - COVID pandemic. Instead of opening in cinemas June/July 2020, it opened - after several reschedules - in August 2021.

This is one of the things mentioned in passing by RR as Deadpool in this spoofy Free Guy Trailer Watchalong also featuring Taika Waitiki as his Marvel character incarnation, Korg:

Also, oh my goodness it made RR the Man of Many Movies in 2021 - well, three movies, but that seems like... alot?

He also appeared in the sequel to 2017's The Hitman's Bodyguard (a big fave in this household despite or possibly because of it being crude and violent - the sequel is noticeably less fun, in my view). AND in Red Notice, with The Rock and Gal Gadot (also, IMO, Not As Fun).

So - good news for RR / SL was that Free Guy was a commercial success, earning $300m worldwide and ending the year just scraping into 10th place in the list of top ten box office earners. AND with the extra credit due for doing so whilst also being original IP. Screenrant has pointed out that ALL the other top 10 earners in both 2021 and 2022 were part of a pre-existing franchise (before going on to suggest that RR almost counts as a franchise in his own right...)

Did it work? Views in our household were a little mixed (I was more forgiving). Mark Kermode - quite liked it. For what it was. Clip below.

What did I think worked well / less well?

So, for me, the movie was a perfect blast whenever we were watching RR in his utopian/dystopian Free City world. A wonderful intro through the opening montage that shows Guy's chipper, happy, but slightly-empty-at-the-heart life, resolutely upbeat despite the mayhem being caused all the time all round them by sunglass-wearing players. (There's a bit later on that explains the players don't HAVE to wear sunglasses - if they're in a part of the game with no missions, for instance, there's no benefit to wearing them.) The levelling up montage - making the most of the idea that he's the Good Guy - is also super fun. The hero fight near the end against Dude, the buggy, under-coded alt-Guy commissioned by the baddie is also entertaining - and resolves in a very in-keeping manner.

Less successful? The segments in dirty, nasty Real World. Although full joy watching TW being a terrible, terrible Manchild Tech Bro <3

I think the tricky thing here is that RR is the big star - and is In Love with the Jodie Comer character - but can't logically "end up with her". So, they need an alternative resolution, one that gives her a happy ending in the Real World and leaves Guy happy in Free City. (Actually, that second part is easier - since he's coded as peppy and since the big, big win for his character is the journey to self-actualisation prompted by encountering his Dream Girl in the game. Which also has a logical grounding in the movie lore, because that's the result of deliberate coding experiments by JC's Real World design partner.)

It works but it's a switch and only one that we could see coming because there weren't other viable Real World candidates - not suggested in her behaviour. Even if the feelings have been clearly trailed from HIS side, they have been non-existent from her side.

Still, RR delivered a cracking performance and clearly enjoys working with Shawn Levy - they went on to make The Adam Project (time travel - YAY, Jennifer Garner and Mark Ruffalo as young RR's parents - YAY) and the latest Deadpool movie (also starring Wolverine).

Something I thought worked really well was the design aesthetic - game world versus Real World - and *ofc* turns out that absolute LAYERS of nerdy detail went into this, mostly for details we never get to linger on, but anyone freeze-framing would get a kick out of...

Interview with the production designer in Variety gives more detail:

I also saw somewhere - somewhere not especially credible like Reddit but *shrug* maybe?? - that the opening map we see showing the layout of Free City is closely modelled on a map of Portland, OR?

[hollow-keys]

For the Doctor Who Asks: 2.0 game- All of the questions! (Or all of the ones that you feel like answering.)

Okay, alright!

1. Why do you love Doctor Who so much?

I'm a big fan of sci-fi in general honestly and always have been, especially if it has a lot of media to pick and choose from and lore to sink my teeth into. Doctor Who is specifically very interesting as a time travel show with a rotating cast and media in several different formats which lends itself to perpetual change and creativity and you can revisit prior eras without derailing the current one.

2. Which Doctor would you most want to travel with?

Two or Three. It's no secret that I love Two, Jamie and Zoe so it is ofc a dream to hang out with my faves. Three is kind and considerate of his companions but he's also the realest when people cross him so I think he'd be nice without being Too Nice yk. I made a joke post about this, but he wouldn't beg the Master to regenerate after tormenting his friends and the entire planet for a year (looking at you, Ten).

3. Which Doctor and Companions would be your perfect Tardis team?

My fave canon team is Two, Jamie and Zoe (Though Five, Tegan and Turlough is also great) but a non canon team? Uhhh. Two, Jamie and Tegan could be fun because she's a strong personality like Zoe but also a layperson like Jamie. I've already said Jamie and Leela in another post (sensing a pattern but he is my guy), Bill could be great on pretty much any team as a true everyperson because she truly is just Normal. Like, the other TARDIS team members are arguing and she just says something that seems obvious in retrospect but nobody else thought of. She can just cut through bullshit frfr.

4. Would you rather hang out with Jamie Mccrimmon or Sarah Jane Smith?

Jamie. Sorry Sarah Jane but he's my guy.

5. Classic Who or New Who?

Classic. NuWho takes itself so seriously sometimes like it's trying too hard to be Mature™ and distance itself from the "silly show for nerds" reputation the Classic series got. I appreciate the budget and the added emphasis on emotional arcs but watching the Doctor go through the same character arc again and again and make a speech about how much murder they've done and how ~morally ambiguous~ they are at least once per season is tiring. This is why later One era, Two, Three and Early Four is peak Doctor Who to me. They're just a bit of a tetchy guy travelling the universe and helping people.

6. Would you rather be a Dalek or a Cyberman?

Would I rather be shot or shot? Hmm. If I choose Cybermen can I be one of the good ones like Bill?

7. What's your favourite story from each Doctor 1-15

Okay, That's tough so I'll give a maximum of 3 per Doctor.

One: Planet of the Giants, The Celestial Toymaker and The War Machines

Two: The Evil of the Daleks, The Mind Robber and The War Games

Three: The Mind of Evil, Day of the Daleks and The Three Doctors

Four: The Arc in Space, The Sun Makers, and State of Decay

Five: Castrovalva, Earthshock and Frontios.

Currently on Six's era and not familiar with Seven or Eight.

I don't remember most of NuWho well enough to comment rn (planning on a rewatch once I'm done with Classic) but for Tenteen (who shouldn't be a separate Doctor to Ten but whatever) it's obviously Wild Blue Yonder and 15 only has two stories which are both kinda mid.

8. Do you think any creatures have been overused? If so, which ones?

Yes. Daleks, Cybermen and to a lesser extent, the Master. The Daleks are a one trick pony, and their one trick can be done better by other villains. The Cybermen are interesting but aren't always utilised effectively/are overused. The Master is more versatile as a three dimensional character and a Time Lord who can regenerate and therefore, change personality but is still sometimes overrelied on where re/introducing other three dimensional villains would have more variety.

9. Who is your favourite Doctor Who writer?

Umm, I don't really have favourite writers? I have stories I enjoy but I don't really have a specific writer where I'm like "This guy gets it!"

10. What is your favourite piece of music from Doctor Who?

And if I say the theme tune is that a cop out? It's just so good.

11-15. Are about Torchwood and Sarah Jane Adventures and I've never watched Torchwood and can't remember enough about SJA.

Thanks for asking!

[whoree321]

the bad batch + what romance/rom com movies they watch with you

each of the bad batch x gn!reader

ok first and foremost i really truly believe to the pits of my soul that every single one of these fuckos loves romances and you cannot under any circumstances change my mind

ALSO it’s a gender neutral reader except kinda in echo’s theres like a very brief quote regarding breasts but like i still think even that is pretty gender neutral tbh

so anyway

Hunter: Pretty Woman

this is not the first time that i have publicly declared that i think hunter has a deep rooted connection to the movie pretty woman and it will not be the last

first of all this movie is incredibly soothing to hunters overwhelming savior complex

second of all hunter is literally richard gere (debonaire but emotionally distant gentleman that learns to love) and julia roberts (hooker with a heart of gold) at the same time

he was a little skeptical the first time you put it on but he instantly fell in love with it

the humor, the sensuality, the class divide, the glamour, the unconventional cinderella story of it all. it just really butters his bread

after the first time, when you suggest watching a movie and you pick this one he’ll act very aloof about it (“whatever you want cyar’ika, it doesn’t matter to me”) but secretly he’s really really happy bc it’s one of his favorites (you def know this and def pick it more often)

he absolutely hates the scene when stucky the lawyer hits vivian. like it doesn’t matter how many times he watches it he will fully turn his head away from the screen and say “I don’t like this part” and when it’s over he nuzzles a little closer into you and very tenderly kisses your forehead

he loves the soundtrack too. like he fully exposes how much he likes the movie when you catch him singing or humming “pretty woman” or “it must have been love” absently to himself (you kept it to yourself for a while but eventually you just had to tease him about it. he just smiled a little sheepishly and admitted he liked the songs before promptly changing the subject)

hunter also lowkey definitely wants to recreate the ending where richard gere shows up to her apartment in the white limo with you bc he thinks it’s such a sweet gesture and he wants to treat you like royalty

Crosshair: 10 Things I Hate About You

if there’s one thing about crosshair it’s that he’s a sucker for the enemies to lovers genre

maybe its just him projecting (spoiler alert it most certainly is) but he really enjoys watching the drama conflama of a miserable bastard be tricked into love

and really that’s the true essence of 10 Things I Hate About You

he will grumble and bitch and moan about not wanting to watch a ‘chick flick’ when you put it on, but 15 minutes in and he’s hooked

he has strong negative opinions on literally every single character except for kat and patrick

(crosshair really really wants to think he’s patrick but when it comes down to it he is katarina stratford in every single possible way)

he doesn’t say a word throughout the entire movie but you can tell when he’s annoyed at like bianca or cameron or joey bc he will openly scoff at them

will absolutely hum along in your ear during the “can’t take my eyes off you” scene and make out with you during the paintball scene

(seriously he wants to be patrick verona so bad)

when it’s over and you ask him what he thought he’ll roll his eyes and say “i guess it could have been worse” but his little smirk let’s you know he enjoyed it a lot more than he’s willing to admit

Tech: 50 Shades of Grey

ok hear me out on this one

tech is a huge movie talker. like subtitles are a non-negotiable if you wanna be able to take in any of the movies dialogue bc tech is most likely gonna make commentary over it the whole time

this makes him absolutely indescribably so much fun to watch bad/corny movies with

he will go off about EVERYTHING. the plot, the dialogue, the acting, the costuming, the music, the production quality. nothing and no one is safe. whether you just enjoy letting him talk at you or you join in on the roast, cheesy movies are a hoot between you two

and honey. 50 shades is one of THE cheesiest movies ever

you and tech will literally spend the entire duration of the movie tearing it to shreds

and the thing is tech is a very sarcastic, funny guy when he wants to be (and when it comes to you he definitely wants to be) so by the end of it he will have you in absolute stitches from laughing at the ridiculousness of both the movie and him

with any of the other batchers watching a movie like this either turns into a shy, slightly awkward experience (wrecker, echo) or an incorrigibly horny experience (crosshair, hunter)

but in this context tech literally has no shame or squeamishness about sexual things (why should he it’s a natural biological process?) so to yall the sex stuff is just another thing to roast

literally christian grey could be fully tying dakota johnson down and flogging her and tech will be like “in the last 3 minutes they have panned up to her nipples 4 times. this is criminally shoddy cinematography”

even tho he’s busy giving a detailed play by play critique, he never fails to keep some sort of physical contact with you (wrapping an arm around you and running his hand up and down your skin, playing with your fingers or your hair) so you know he’s enjoying spending this time with you despite his nasty words about the movie

also 1000% after you watch it tech will do extensive research on the ins and outs of bdsm and will have lots of hypotheses he wants to test out (as long as you’re willing and able ofc) ;)))

Wrecker: 13 Going On 30

of all the bad batch members, wrecker is the only one who unabashedly loves any movie that could be considered a chick flick

like he doesn’t even try to hide it or act like he’s too masculine for it. he loves romance and he’s proud of it

this man will have full marathons with you. rom coms, regular roms, tragic roms, hallmark roms, you name it and he’s game

his absolute favorite tho is 13 Going On 30

i feel like he has a huge soft spot for childhood best friends to lovers stories like he finds that type of lifelong partnership so endearing (and he loves to live vicariously through jenna since that type of romance was obviously never an option for him)

wrecker is also very childlike at heart and i think the idea of a 13 year old sweetheart trapped inside the body of a 30 year old cut throat magazine exec is so amusing to him (and maybe makes him feel just a little bit represented in the media)

he is definitely the type to completely engulf you in a cuddle for the entirety of the movie and he DEFINITELY cries into your shoulder at matty’s wedding when jenna is crying on the stoop with her dream house

he wants to try razzles so bad. like so bad. i think if he ever came across them somewhere he would barter at least one of his brothers for them

wrecker really just loves love and watching movies about it just reminds him of how lucky he is to have his own love story with you <3

Echo: The Princess Bride

i feel like it’s glaringly obvious why echo loves this movie

pirates. sword fighting. decades long revenge plots. the value of an honorable, loyal man. true love that never wavers even in the face of devastating tragedy and the darkest of hardships. clever but goofy humor.

echo considers this an action/adventure movie and NOT a romance movie (even tho it 100% totally is a romance movie) and requests to watch it very frequently

he can quote the whole thing. i’m seriously telling you echo loves the princess bride with his whole chest

even tho he refuses to admit it’s a love story above all else, he really does try to model himself in your relationship after wesley

like especially given what happened at the citadel and all the time you thought he was dead, the cinematic parellels are alive and present in y’alls relationship and he strives to be even half the man to you that wesley is to buttercup

literally in your day to day life he will sometimes respond to your requests with a smooth “as you wish ;)” (it doesn’t matter how many times he does it it still gives you butterflies)

when you watch the movie, he snuggles as close to you as possible and does his best to make youre comfy the whole time (he’s insecure about his prosthetics hurting you no matter how much you reassure him they don’t)

he just loves to be able to feel your heartbeat and your laugh when you giggle at the funny bits

every single time without fail at the part when buttercup is about to stab herself he leans down, ghosts his lips against the shell of your ear, and whispers the line in time with wesley: “there’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. it would be a pity to damage yours”

every single time without fail you wind up making out until he pulls away and tells you to watch the next part when wesley challenges humperdinck to a duel to the pain

echo just loves you to bits and wants you to know he’d endure a thousand fire swamps for you

Omega: Clueless

i have this really specific obsession with omega being a total girly girl and having very traditionally feminine interests as she keeps experiencing the universe and being exposed to a spectrum of gender expression beyond clone (masc and boring) and kaminoan (ugly)

so with that headcanon of her in mind, it’s vital to me that she sees clueless as soon as possible

clueless is an essential piece of media for a girl entering adolescence and i will die on this hill

it has literally everything you want and everything you need to develop into a well-rounded young woman

it’s so deliciously 90s and glamorama and valley girl humor and camp. its got meaningful female friendships and valuable life lessons and paul mf rudd

if there’s one thing you should encourage a burgeoning hetero teen girl to do, it’s to stick to dating guys like paul rudd in clueless. the earlier this message can be broadcast the better

the second you’re able to steal omega away from hunters watchful eyes (“hunter we’re just gonna watch finding nemo i swear!”) you show her this movie

at this point omega is not really a girly girl, but omega also has absolutely zero feminine influence in her life

the first time she sees clueless she is absolutely obsessed. like seriously she is so enamoured with the glitz and glam of cher horowitz

she asks you questions the entire time. she wants to know about EVERYTHING. the makeup, the clothes, the hair, the slang

(she definitely goes around saying stuff like “i’m totally bugging” for long enough afterwards that almost all of the boys have slipped up at least once with some ridiculous valley girl slang. you thought you were gonna die of laughter when you overheard tech say “as if!” to wrecker in the middle of an argument)

it just really introduces her to this whole world of femininity that she didn’t even know existed and she absolutely loves it

she makes you watch clueless with her seriously once a week at minimum. she begs you to style her hair like tai’s and you can’t help yourself when you happen to run across a little yellow plaid dress and buy it for her on sight

(hunter was gonna scold you for recklessly spending credits until he saw how omega almost cried from how happy she was for the gift)

honestly she enjoys the romance of it all and paul rudd is def her first celebrity crush but she enjoys more that you and her now have this special thing of hair and nails and pretty dresses

she loves how confident and beautiful and special you’re able to make her feel, and you love that you get to bring her that small sense of normalcy and happiness

[oodlyenough]

life is strange true colours review

the non spoilery part: i LOVED this game, my personal fave game this year and the first franchise entry since the original that has really resonated with or moved me.

it's a life is strange game through and through, so if you don't like slice of life episodes or bonding with NPCs, it's not gonna be for you. but if you like the franchise, or even if you liked the first game but haven't been interested in/liked the other two instalments, i recommend giving this one a chance. i think it got closer to figuring out the formula while still doing something new and interesting.

more detailed spoilers and opinions:

alex

holy shit i love alex? bisexual chad... my darling... i'm gonna be real, a lot of the trailers and promo for this game made me worried she'd be kind of a dull wallflower Soft Girl character, but she's not! she's so funny, and even parts of her characterization i initially thought were maybe a bit of a stretch ended up making sense as i learned more about her. she stole the show. i straight up forgot how much loving the protag helps enjoyment of these kinds of games lmao ... finally a reason to click on everything in the room: to hear what alex will say about it.

i thought her backstory exploration in ep 5 especially was wonderful and emotive and great. broke my heart and explained so much about her :( baby girl

plot/choices

i loved the mystery. i don't think it was quite as Mysterious as the mystery in lis1, but that was okay, i was still invested in solving it. i also got invested enough in the NPCs around the town to make all the exploration bits really fun. i loved eavesdropping on the sagas of the random NPCs like bald man and ice cream couple... just fun little touches and narratives to follow that i enjoyed.

i really appreciated this script not being afraid to shy away from some messier emotions, even if in some cases i wish we spent more time on them. for example: alex feeling a bit jealous of the other people in town that got to know gabe better than her/spend more time with him than she did. or charlotte hating ethan!!! my jaw dropped, i thought that was so good, what a messy but realistic response.

I'm not entirely sure what all the ramifications of different choices are at this point, fresh off my first play. i ended up getting only part of the council to stand with me (eleanor & duckie) while losing pike and charlotte.

i do wish we saw a bit more fallout or exploration of what taking away emotion DOES. i took charlotte's anger, and obviously it meant she didn't stand up for me in the council meeting, but where does she go from there? does she like... ever return to feeling emotions lmao... I also think we probably should've had the opportunity to do that another time, instead of just 2 isolated events -- I think Diane would've been a good candidate.

the romance

i romanced steph, ofc, but i was surprised during the game how drawn i was to ryan too -- i really liked that Drama of him being the one who cut Gabe free, as well as later the drama of him being Jed's son. UNTIL HE DIDN'T BELIEVE ME... that made me mad lmfao, i have to learn what to do to make him believe me before i play a Ryan route bc i'll kill him lmfao.

the steph/alex romance was sweet... it didn't really, like, Consume Me as a ship, but by the end of the game I was still "aww"ing at their moments in the flashforward. steph was more rounded and flawed than i thought she might be, which i really appreciated! i was worried they'd just make her perfect idealized gf, but she has a bit of a temper and is kind of tempestuous and stuff... liked it. loved her standing up for alex so fiercely and immediately at the council meeting <3 and my main reservation about her in ep 4 was that i wanted alex to stay in haven, so when she offered to stay i was thrilled LOL

one semi-complaint i had was that something i loved so much about lis1 was how max and chloe's relationship was central to the entire game and story, it wasn't some extra thing on the side, it WAS the game... whereas here, the romance routes, especially steph's, felt like sidequests. I wish they'd found a way to incorporate those relationships a bit more into the main goings-on. I also wanted to spend more time with either romance option to feel like I knew them better -- splitting the time between Steph and Ryan means that I came away feeling like I didn't get quite as much of either of them as I would've liked, vs spending almost the entire game with Chloe lol.

however, this ended up not really bothering me too much because I DID really like the core mystery and themes, the exploration of grief and Emotion, etc.

other characters

considering everyone knew going into the game that gabe was going to die, i was impressed with how they did it, and how they managed to get me attached to gabe in a mere single episode. it's a tall order to introduce a character designed to die, who your audience KNOWS is going to die, and still make them work.

i thought this supporting cast was ... maybe the strongest in the franchise? or at least, they created scenarios where i felt invested in multiple people in the town, and was genuinely trying to build decent relationships with most of them. duckie cracked me tf up, i liked eleanor and riley, even diane and jeb were good for their roles. (fuck pike. i signed ur stupid thing and left your emotions alone and you still won't do shit? ACAB!!!) the choice to stay in haven or leave was a little harder than i expected honestly, considering how quickly i let arcadia bay burn to the ground lmfao.

gameplay/etc

also i know the whole internet has been dunking on "empathy" as a super power since the game was announced, and i get that it sounds corny and looks corny in the trailers, but i thought how they did it was really cool. i wish they'd branded it "Mindreading" more than empathy tbh because a lot of the cooler elements of it are more along those lines... using her power to manipulate people, potentially taking people's emotions away and what that does to them... very interesting imo!

i really liked the memory feature!!! cool way to give us character exposition and inform the story while encouraging exploration. finally a collectible that like, expands the story, instead of chloe drawing butts on the wall and sean taking 10 years to draw something.

it's definitely the most evolved-feeling LIS game, which it should be, given it's the newest. graphics looked really nice, loved getting to see the characters actually emote, even if there are still some scenes that were a lil comically blank-faced -- usually NPCs. i actually noticed this with Jed the most, which in retrospect maybe was somewhat intentional?

i had a number of visual glitches, nothing major but a little silly, like T-posing Alex, npcs t-posing in the windows, etc. i'm sure they'll get patched out soon.

anyway... i rly liked this game, i'm excited for the steph dlc and finally feel like i have reason to be optimistic about future LIS instalments. hooray!

[telaraneas]

man i have so many words about homestuck but no one to talk to about it with. aimless ramble about classpects under the cut (disclaimer that other people have probably said the same things in much more concise ways, i literally finished homestuck like 3 days ago)

so, the way i actually understand aspects and classes in homestuck is that aspect = themes and class = arc. so, like, class and aspect as i think of them are not assigned as a role to play per se, like, they're not prophetic, they're descriptive. ive been reading a lot of old forum discussions from early act 6 because i crave whatever speculation and live analysis was going on at the time. and back then there was a lot of, for instance, "i wonder what the prince class is supposed to do, since eridan probably fucked it up" and im sitting here with the benefit of living almost a decade later and having read the entire story by that point, and im like, no, see, it's actually impossible to "fail" at your class in my opinion because they're descriptive, not predictive. so whatever a character did by the time homestuck actually ended (...with the caveat that i havent yet read the epilogues or the sequel), that was what they were supposed to do in the game/story, because like. that IS what they did.

like in the same way we have descriptive words for specific character archetypes in fiction, because i do think classpects are basically just That, like, for example, (to go. really really basic) princess peach in the original mario game may be a shitty female character but she's a perfect representation of the damsel in distress archetype. the "damsel in distress" denomination here is descriptive of the role she plays in the story of that game (to the extent it has one), whether or not it was consciously written that way, and it's assigned from the outside looking in at the finished game, not necessarily written from the outset to be that way. eg how inexperienced authors often end up writing what is commonly described as "mary sue" characters, even though most of them do not deliberately set out to write characters like that, obviously. the term "mary sue" here is descriptive, not prescriptive (and ofc the term itself has been dilluted to the point it's barely useful, this was just an example)

so like, an author may set out to write a character in a specific way, or to fill a specific role, and they may succeed or they may not; but a reader analyzing the story will interpret the story as they see fit, and will be the judge of how THEY would describe the characters. ofc interpretations may vary from reader to reader, but generally speaking when it comes to the role a character plays in the story, eg do they have agency, what function do they have towards advancing the plot, what are the dominant themes and ideas of the story and how does this character play into it etc etc will, at least to the individual reader, be informed by the work as a whole, not by the author's intent. the character's actions in the work as a whole as written by the author and interpreted by the reader speak for themselves.

i think i've gotten lost somewhere along the line here. this is all true and part of what i meant to say but i cant figure out how to connect it to my point. which is that i think the classes arent meant so much as rpg classes that dictate what you are capable of doing, so much as they're a descriptive label that sums up the role a character plays in the story. like the time loop stuff, it's not that a character MUST fulfill their role, it's that they already HAVE from the perspective of the finished story taken as a whole.

anyways all of this that ive said about classpects being descriptive and not prescriptive is ignoring the very obvious reality that homestuck itself was not written from the outside looking in, but in fact was often improvised from what i can tell, especially in regards to the arcs and themes of the more minor characters such as the trolls, but ofc it has the benefit that because its author is the one coming up with the classpect system in the first place, it gets to set its own definition. so in effect, the classpects in homestuck are self-descriptive; each title is an intrinsically correct description of the character's arc and themes, in the exact same way that the character's NAME is an intrinsically correct description of what the character is called. i think this is the whole reason why afaik there hasnt actually been explicit descriptions of what most of the classes do, and why there were only like 3 or 4 explicit in-universe descriptions of the classes, because if hussie said that a character's class means exclusively X thing, and then that character goes and does Y instead and never does X, then the story has contradicted itself

but instead, by keeping most of them vague, the classes become inherently self-descriptive. it's impossible to say that character A has failed their role as class B, because character A is part of the definition of class B. self-descriptive

(like how once in the adventure zone travis mentioned being shocked that people online were saying that something his character did was "out of character", to which he answered something to the effect of "what do you MEAN it's out of character, i write the character and he did that!". whatever actions character A takes are, by definition, in-character for character A; if this doesn't sit right with the viewer, they may say that this makes them an incoherent and/or badly written character, but by definition the character IS defined by the actions as written by the author. self-descriptive)

bringing it back to the eridan example, it's impossible for eridan to "fail" at being a prince of hope; eridan IS the prince of hope, and thus, whatever he did IS "what the prince of hope was supposed to do", which in this case meant being someone whose character is defined and tortured by his own hopes, beliefs, and convictions, until he reaches a breaking point and destroys his own aspect not just for himself but for those around him.

without context as to what a prince is "supposed" to do, it's easy to assume he must have failed in his role because of how he very literally destroyed the presence of hope in the part he played of the story, but in-universe the classes are descriptive and not prescriptive: eridan is the prince of hope BECAUSE of the role he played in the story, not in spite of it.

in any case, this whole mess is my way of saying that this is why assigning class and aspect to characters from non-homestuck media is, for me at least, very fun and illuminating! because, while in homestuck they may be self-descriptive, for non-homestuck media they are inherently just descriptive. you just need to analyze the characters, as you, the reader, understand them, and pinpoint their core essence as a character via their character arc and dominant themes. and it can illuminate interesting parallels, trends and contrasts in the story as it exists. it's kind of like a birds eye view character analysis cheat sheet and that makes it very fun dkfnekmf

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Banner

Ch29. The Sokovia Accords Part 2: No, You Move.

Summary: Whilst discussing the proposed accords, Steve gets some bad news which makes everything pale into insignificance. And then, another ghost from his past comes back to haunt them.

Warnings: Bad language, Smut! (NSFW, Under 18s) Bad Language words.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

A/N: Elements of this have been reworked/rewritten…for reasons which will become apparent at some point! And I’ve also added in the scene with Natasha at the church. I love the banner and edit too from @angrybirdcr​.

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Chapter 29 Part 1

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist // Main Masterlist

 Steve had hoped that the more casual setting would defuse the seriousness of the situation. But that went out of the window an hour or so later when Rhodey and Sam started going at it. Steve was sat in the arm chair carefully reading through the accords packet with a deep frown, Katie perched on the arm of the chair reading over his shoulder. Tony was reclined on the chaise to their right with his hand covering his face as Sam and Rhodey argued, Natasha sitting patiently down by Tony’s legs waiting for them to be done. Vision and Wanda were on the sofa to their other side, neither having said much.

“Secretary Ross has a Congressional medal of Honour,” argued Rhodey from behind the chair. Katie turned to look at them both. “Which is one more than you have.” He mocked Sam.

“So let’s say we agree to this thing. How long is it gonna be before they Low-Jack us like a bunch of common criminals?” Sam shot back.

“A hundred an seventeen countries want to sign this. A hundred and seventeen, Sam, and you’re just like, no, that’s cool. We got it.”

“How long are you going to play both sides?” Sam snapped.

“I have an equation.” Vision spoke loudly before Rhodey could reply, causing both men to quiet down and everyone to look at him. Steve lifted his head from the packet bringing his arm up to rest on Katie’s thigh.

“Oh, now this will clear it up,” said Sam sarcastically.

“In the eight years since Mr Stark announced himself as Iron Man, the number of known enhanced persons has grown exponentially. During the same period the number of potentially world-ending events has risen at a commensurate rate.” Vision steeped his fingers together as he looked around a everyone.

“Are you saying it’s our fault?” Steve asked tensely, his hand on Katie’s leg became heavier.

“I’m saying there may be a causality. Our very strength invites challenge. Challenge incites conflict. And conflict breeds catastrophe. Oversight isn’t an idea that can be dismissed out of hand.”

“Boom,” Rhodey exclaimed, believing that Vision had solidified his point.

Katie shook her head sighing,

“Sorry Vision, I disagree.” Everyone’s attention now turned to her. “Being supervised is one thing. But from what I’ve read these Accords want us to give up total control of what we do and when we do it.” She paused as Steve’s arm slid from her leg to wrap around her back. She then turned her attention to Tony and looked at him as he remained still, hand over his face. "Clearly this has been in the pipeline for some time now, so why are we only just hearing about it?”

Tony glanced at her from underneath his hand, not offering an answer, as she continued.

“And less than a week to come to a decision on something like this? They’re trying to back us into a corner without giving us any proper time to discuss or negotiate the terms and its wrong.” She finished simply, shaking her head and crossing her arms.

“Boom.” Sam repeated from behind her.

“Tony.” Natasha addressed him as he removed his hand from his face. “You are being uncharacteristically non-hyper verbal,”

“It’s because he’s already made up his mind,” Katie raised her eyebrow.

“Kiddo, you know me so well.” Tony scoffed then groaned, standing up and moving over to the kitchen area with a sigh "Actually, I’m nursing an electromagnetic headache. That’s what’s going on. It’s just pain. It’s discomfort.” Another frustrated sigh escaped him as he faffed with something in the sink. “Who’s putting coffee grounds in the disposal? Am I running a bed and breakfast for a biker gang?”

Tony moved to the other countertop slapping down the coffee mug and coffee pot before pulling his phone from his pocket and dropping it onto the fruit basket, then turning it on revealing the hologram of a young man.

“Oh, that’s Charles Spencer, by the way,” said Tony with fake carelessness. “He’s a great kid. Computer engineering degree, 3.6 GPA, had a floor-level gig at Intel planned for the fall. But first, he wanted to put a few miles on his soul before he parked it behind a desk; see the world, maybe be of service. Charlie didn’t want to go to Vegas or Fort Lauderdale, which is what I would do. He didn’t go to Paris or Amsterdam, which sounds fun.” He spat sarcastically, “He decided to spend his summer building sustainable housing for the poor guess where: Sokovia.”

He slammed his mug down as he stared round the room in anger, whilst Katie looked over at Wanda who bowed her head the moment her home was mentioned.

“He wanted to make a difference, I suppose. We won’t know because we dropped a building on him while we were 'kicking ass’.” Tony ran a hand down his face before taking a drink of his coffee. “There’s no decision-making process here. We need to be put in check! Whatever form that takes, I’m game. If we can’t accept limitations, if we’re boundary-less, we’re no better than the bad guys.” He concluded, walking around the counter to lean back against it holding his arms over his chest.

“Tony,” Steve began gently. “If someone dies on your watch, you don’t give up.”

“Who said we’re giving up?” Tony questioned.

“We are for not taking responsibility for our actions.” Continued Steve. “This document just shifts the blame.”

“I’m sorry, Steve. That is dangerously arrogant.” Rhodey interrupted “This is the United Nations we’re talking about. It’s not the World Security Council, it’s not SHIELD, it’s not HYDRA.”

“No, but its run by people with agendas, and agendas change.” Steve shot back, earnestly.

“That’s good.” Tony answered, re-joining the group. “That’s why I’m here. Look, Cap, me and Kiddo, when we realized what Stark weapons were capable of in the wrong hands, we shut it down and stopped manufacturing.”

“Yeah, but Tony, we chose to do that.” Katie jabbed at her chest as she blazed at her brother, her voice gathering momentum and volume. “If we sign these then the next time something like that happens we won’t have the right to choose!“

"What if this panel sends us somewhere we don’t think we should go?” Steve continued his hand gently rubbing at Katie’s back. He was glad they were on the same page, but he didn’t want her getting upset and falling out with Tony. “What if there is somewhere we need to go and they don’t let us?” He took a deep breath and shook his head. “We may not be perfect, but the safest hands are still our own.”

Tony looked down at the couple who both stared back at him. He rolled his eyes again. Of course they would be united on this, they were united on everything. But there were bigger things at stake here. If they didn’t agree, they’d be forced to retire, and the team would be split up. And he couldn’t let that happen.

“If we don’t do this now, it’s gonna be done to us later. That’s the fact. That won’t be pretty,” Tony explained, his tone almost pleading.

“You’re saying they’ll come for me?” Asked Wanda quietly.

“We would protect you,” Vision added placing a gentle hand on Wanda’s shoulder.

“Maybe Tony’s right.” Natasha spoke, turning her eyes to both Katie and Steve, trying to get them to see her point. Katie looked at her incredulously, and Steve’s mouth fell open a little in surprise. “If we have one hand on the wheel, we can still steer. If we take it off-”

“Aren’t you the same woman who told the government to kiss her ass a few years ago?” Sam frowned, interrupting her in disbelief.

“I’m just…reading the terrain.” She sighed. “We have made some very public mistakes. We need to win their trust back.”

“Focus up – I’m sorry, did I just mishear you, or did you agree with me?” Tony looked at her.

Natasha rolled her eyes. “I want to take it back now.” She groaned but Tony was quick to cut in.

“No, you can’t retract it.” He said, waving a finger at her. “Thank you. Unprecedented. Case closed I win.”

As Katie shot some annoyed response back to Tony, something along the lines of him being ‘an egotistical, arrogant prick’, Steve felt his phone going in his pocket. He shifted slightly to pull it out and glanced down. It was a message from Peggy’s son, Michael.

‘She’s gone, in her sleep.’

As the meaning behind the words sunk in, his throat tightened, and suddenly the damned accords didn’t matter anymore. Taking a deep breath, his heart pounding in his chest, he felt the familiar sting of tears in his in his eyes but he didn’t want to break down, not here, not in front of the team.

“I have to go.” He breathed out, handing the Accords to Katie before standing and leaving the room quickly without meeting anyone’s eye.

He made it to the stairwell, leaning against the railings, pinching the bridge of his nose in an attempt to calm himself down but he couldn’t. The tears began to fall and he slumped down onto one of the steps. Which was where Katie found him a few minutes later, shocked to see his shoulders were shaking. She said nothing until she had made her way down to him, wedging herself on the step beside him between him and the wall.

“Stevie?” She asked quietly inspecting his face, seeing the tears across his cheeks. “Sweetheart, what is it.”

“It’s err..” He sniffed and wiped at his nose with a finger, not looking at her “It’s Peg. She’s gone.”

“Oh, no.” Katie muttered, dropping her head. Poor Peggy. She had been quite ill over the last few weeks and the Doctors had said it was unlikely she would recover, but the both of them had been hoping to get to see her to say their goodbyes. Katie felt the tears sting her eyes as she opened up her arms and Steve immediately fell into them. Sometimes it was much too easy to forget how young and inexperienced life wise he actually was at heart and Katie simply held him, as she felt his tears hit her neck. Gently she ran her fingers through his hair as they sat still, not saying a word.

"Will you come with me to the funeral?” His voice was hoarse and muffled but she heard him anyway

“Of course I will.” she said looking at him as he pulled away, his eyes red. She reached up to wipe his face with the back of her hand as he rest his forehead against hers. “Of course I will.”

***** London was caught in the middle of a summer storm when they arrived, four days later. The wind and rain whipped Katie’s hair about her face as they stepped from the StarkJet onto the tarmac of Gatwick Airport. They made their way towards the waiting car, Steve’s large hand taking her smaller, and somewhat colder, one in his as they walked, Sam pacing at his other side. The drive to the hotel was filled mainly with Sam and Katie chatting as she pointed out various landmarks to the man, Steve remaining silent on the whole apart from chipping in when he was spoken to.

His sombre mood continued through to the evening, and when Katie told him that Sam was meeting up with some of his old Air Force buddies and suggested that the two of them head out for something to eat, he was torn between wanting to go out and try to enjoy some time with her, and this strange urge he felt to simply curl up in the relative safety of the hotel room with her, alone. And then there was the war which was raging inside him, an internal battle in the depth of his conscious and mind. He was married to Katie, he loved her, more than he’d ever loved anyone. And yet, here he was grieving so much for a woman who, when all was said and done, he hadn’t actually known for that long. Peggy was his past, Katie was his here and now, his future, his forever. So why did he feel this way?

“Stevie.” Katie’s voice gently shook him from his thoughts and he turned away from the view of the Thames he’d been observing through the floor to ceiling window of their suite and faced her. “We don’t have to go anywhere to eat if you don’t want to.”

“I’m sorry.” He sighed, shaking his head. “I just, I feel…”

“Upset? Tired of pretending you’re okay?” She supplied and he gave a little huff of laugher, shaking his head as he looked at the soft, deep blue carpet of the room.

“You know, are you sure you don’t have some kind of secret mind reading power?” He looked at her once more and she smiled softly.

“No, I just know you.” She stepped forward and held out her arms and Steve moved to fall into them, his cheek resting on her head as he let out a shaky breath. “You don’t have to hide it in front of me, you know.” She pulled back to look at him, her hands cupping his face.

“I love you.” He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers in a soft kiss. “You know that, right?”

“Of course I do.” She frowned before her head tilted to the side as she considered what he had just said, suddenly understanding. “Wait, is that what’s bothering you? How I feel?”

His lack of response spoke volumes as he looked down once more, his large hands gently wrapping around her wrists, moving her hands to her side so he could lace his fingers between hers.

“Oh, Steve!” Katie shook her head and her fingers tightened around his. “You’ve every right to feel how you do, Peggy meant a lot to you.”

“She did, yeah, but so do you.” He glanced at her, his blue eyes shining with tears. “In fact, you mean more to me than anything else ever has. I just wanna be sure you know that.”

“If I didn’t know it, I wouldn’t have married you.” Katie shrugged simply. “But, Soldier, just because you love me the way you do, doesn’t mean that you never loved Peggy, or that you still can’t in some ways.” When he didn’t reply, Katie studied him for a moment, before she took a deep breath. “Steve, look at me, please.” He did as she asked and she gave him a soft smile. “It’s okay, I promise you I understand.”

He gave her another little smile as she stood on her toes to brush her lips against his. “Now, I’m gonna draw you a bath. You’re gonna get in, and you’re gonna relax.”

“Is that an order, Ma’am?” He smiled and Katie chuckled.

“Yeah, it is. And you know what else I’m gonna order? A fuck tonne of room service.”

It was Steve’s turn to chuckle as she smiled. “Then we can raid the mini-bar and bunker down for the evening. How’s that sound?”

Steve smiled, his hand reaching up to brush a piece of hair behind her ears. “It sounds okay, but would be a whole lot better if you said you were gonna join me in the bath.”

Katie smiled, her eyes flashing a little as he leaned down and captured her lips with his, the kiss slow and deep. Her arms slid up round his neck, fingers softly skating along his hairline and he let out a contented sigh as she broke away, his forehead pressing to hers, hands softly flexing on her hips. Without another word she pulled away before taking his hand, and gently leading him through the suite to the bathroom.

***** Steve didn’t sleep well that night. His mind was in overdrive, his subconscious showing him people he hadn’t seen in a very, very long time. He dreamt about Peggy, Bucky, Howard, the Howlies…and Katie. Even in dreams about his past she was there, ever present, just like she was in his life. When he woke up from a particularly vivid flashback about crashing back into the ice, he jerked bolt upright with a yell, his breathing desperate and ragged. Katie sat up beside him, her hand on his clammy back as she gently soothed him, her calm and quiet. Steve swallowed, turning to face her as she sat looking at him, concern etched on her face. She made to get out of bed to fetch him a glass of water but he stopped her, his large hand curling gently around her arm. He needed her, and he wasted no time at all in making sure she understood that. As she lay underneath him, her hands wrapped around his back, nails biting his skin, he fucked her, hard and fast, into the mattress, the relief washing over him like a tidal wave. When he evened out, he rolled onto his back, pulling her with him, his hand carding through her hair as hers traced random shapes over his chest. The pair of them lay still, gentle and loving touches and kisses being shared as they simply talking until the sun rose. And then Steve found himself back over his wife once more as he stuffed himself insider her again, only this time he made love to her, as softly and as gently as he could, needing to feel every single inch of her against him as he surrendered to that bliss that only she could ever make him feel.

They took a room service breakfast and at just before Eleven they met Sam in the Reception of the hotel and made their way to the church. Steve, who had been asked by Peggy’s family to be a pall bearer, hung back outside as Katie and Sam took their seats along the front pew of the Church. It wasn’t long before the choir began to sing and Katie turned as the procession walked down the aisle. Steve held the front right-hand corner of the coffin, carrying it with stiff steps, his cheeks wet, eyes red rimmed and full of tears. Katie felt Sam squeeze her shoulder, and she turned to face him briefly.

“My heart is breaking for him, Sam.” She whispered through her own tears as Sam dropped his hand to take hers, as they both watched the six men place the coffin at the front of the church. Sam released Katie’s hand with another gentle squeeze and they shuffled down to make room for Steve who took her left hand, seeking out her comfort and contact as he stared at the picture to the side of the coffin. It showed the Peggy he had known, back in the Forties, standing tall and proud in her uniform.

When the choir song ended they all sat, Steve staring down at his wife’s hand wrapped in his, and he began to play with her wedding and engagement rings, twirling them round her finger, his mind straying to his wedding and how he had told Katie at the toasts he was only strong because she made him that way. He was so glad she was with him now. Lost in his thoughts, he suddenly felt her hand contract around his, quite hard, and he looked up at her. When he did she nodded her head in the direction of the podium. Steve’s eyes followed then did a slight double take at who was stood there.

Agent Thirteen of Shield special service and his ex-neighbour.

“Margaret Carter was known to most as a founder of Shield.” The woman who’s name Steve recalled being told by Natasha was Sharon, began, sounding nervous. “But I just knew her as Aunt Peggy.”

Peggy’s Niece? Steve couldn’t believe his ears. All that time she had been living across the hall, spying on him…and she was Peggy’s niece?

“She had a photograph in her office, Aunt Peggy standing next to JFK. As a kid, that was pretty cool. But, it was a lot to live up to. Which is why I barely told anyone we were related.” Sharon glanced down at Steve, like she was offering him some form of explanation.

“I asked her once how she managed to master diplomacy and espionage at a time when no one wanted to see a woman succeed at either.” Sharon swallowed before she continued, her voice becoming stronger. “And she said, 'Compromise when you can. But when you can’t, don’t. Even if everyone is telling you that something wrong is something right. Even if the whole world is telling you to move, it is your duty, to plant yourself like a tree, look them in the eye and say, 'No, you move.”

Katie glanced at Steve then to Sam, the three of them sharing a knowing glance. Those words were powerful, especially given the situation with the Accords. And for Steve, it was almost like Peggy was speaking to him, still giving him advice even in her death.

Despite the utter sorrow he was feeling, Steve couldn’t help but smile at the sentiment.

Thanks Peg…

*****

Katie watched as Steve leaned against the end of one of the pews, lost in his thought. He’d by passed the part where they were actually putting Peggy into the ground, saying he didn’t want to see it so instead, Katie had given him a moment to pay his respects along, waiting for him to give her some direction as to what he wanted to next.

As always, he seemed to know she was there before she even made a sound and he looked up, giving her a small smile as she walked down the middle of the church aisle towards him.

“Hey, Sweetheart.” He smiled as she stopped in front of him, opening her arms to give him a hug.

“How you doing?” She asked softly, her lips brushing his temple as he pressed his face into her neck.

“I’m okay.” He assured her, pulling back. “Just, suppose it’s sunk in that she’s actually gone, you know.” Katie gave him a sad smile. “When I came out of the ice, I thought everyone I had known was gone. Then I found out that she was alive. I was just lucky to have her.”

“She had you back, too.” Katie looked at him.

“Yeah, and at least I knew where she was, unlike Bucky.”

“Don’t give up on him just yet, love.” Katie rubbed his arm as he placed a kiss to her forehead. Steve glanced once more to the front of the church and Katie followed his glance to look at the flowers placed on the alter.

“It was a nice service.” She said, her arm looping round his waist.

“Yeah, it was.” A familiar voice spoke and both of them whipped round to see Natasha strolling towards them. Steve let out a little scoff and looked down, shaking his head.

“You know, I thought I saw you before but convinced myself I was seeing things.”

“Well, I was sorta in the area.” She shrugged. There was a pause before Steve voiced what was on his mind since he’d left the compound a few days ago.

“Who else signed?” Steve asked.

“Tony. Rhodey. Vision.”

“Clint?” Katie asked.

Nat smiled slightly. “Says he's retired.”

“Wanda?” Steve looked at her.

“TBD” Nat answered. Katie looked at Steve before Nat took a deep breath. “I'm off to Vienna for the signing of the Accords. There's plenty of room on the jet.”

Steve sighed and bowed his head.

“Just because it's the path of least resistance doesn't mean it's the wrong path.” Nat continued. “Staying together is more important than how we stay together.”

“Are you trying to convince us or yourself?” Katie asked and Natasha merely held her gaze.

“What are we giving up to do it?” Steve shook his head as Natasha turned to him. “I'm sorry, Nat. I can't sign it.”

“Me neither.” Katie added. “Not as they stand.”

“I know.” Nat smiled.

“Then what are you doing here?” Steve looked at her.

“Well, like I said, I was in the area.” Nat’s eyes flicked to the alter. “Plus, knowing who she is and what she did. I might never have met her but, well, it felt right to pay my respects.” She then looked back at them both. “Plus, I wanted to see you, check you were okay.” She said the last part to Steve more than Katie and he gave her a little smile as she moved to give him a hug.

****

They decided to go to the wake, and Katie took the chance to seek out Sharon where she was standing among a group of people, making polite conversation but clearly looking for a way out, which Katie was happy to provide, squeezing her elbow gently, and gesturing with her head for the blonde woman to follow her.

“I really am sorry about Peggy,” Katie began as they settled at an empty table. “She was a phenomenal woman.”

"Thank you,” Sharon said softly. “That means a lot. You know she liked you?”

Katie chuckled “She told me once or twice.” “I think she was happy that Steve found someone.” Sharon smiled. “Someone that makes him happy.”

Katie glanced at where Steve and Sam were waiting at the bar. Steve shot her a glance over his shoulder and smiled softly, before Katie returned her attention to the woman opposite her.  

“So this accords thing?” Sharon changed the subject “It’s really happening?”

“Looks that way, yeah.”

“And where do you stand on it?”

“I’m not signing” Katie shook her head. “Not the way they stand, that’s for sure. And seeing as they don’t seem to want to negotiate terms, it’s a non-starter.”

“Does Steve feel the same?”

Katie nodded. “And Sam.”

Before Sharon could question her further, Katie’s eyes flicked to a point over her shoulder and she gave a side smile as the boys approached.

“Ladies,” Sam baritone smoothly, sitting in the seat next to Sharon and setting down a drink in front of her. From the look on the blonde’s face, this surprised her, but she accepted nonetheless with a thanks. Steve sat next to Katie handing over another glass of wine, whilst pressing a soft kiss to her lips.

“You okay?” She whispered before he pulled away completely. He nodded and cleared his throat.

“Yeah. I saw just telling Sam about what Nat said.”

“And I was cheering to an honourable discharge.” Sam snorted sarcastically as he raised his glass. “Again.”

“Sorry, for jumping in but, if you’re not signing the Accords then what does that mean for you all?” Sharon looked round the table

“I dunno.” Steve smiled softly, shaking his head.

“Ultimate fighting?” Sam cut in, and Steve snorted as Katie laughed. “I told you, you’d be great at it.”

"More like an early retirement.” Steve stated, a small smile playing on his face.

“Not really that early though is it, Cap?” Sam continued his ribbing “I mean like you are hundred or whatever…”

As was natural with these type of functions, a few hours later people started to leave and eventually Peggy’s children headed over to the table to say their goodbyes. As they all stood to offer their condolences once more, something Michael said about Peggy being a woman of many surprises, brought back something which had been weighing heavily on Steve’s mind since he had left the church.

When Sharon stated that she was heading back to her hotel, Steve suggested that she walked with them, but for the most of the short walk, he remained silent, brooding over his thoughts. And it was only when they reached the door to Sharon’s hotel that he spoke, telling Katie that he’d meet her and Sam in their hotel bar in a couple of minutes.

She shot him a puzzled look but he had simply shook his head in a silent instruction not to argue. So, she merely shrugged, linked her arm through Sam’s and they crossed the road and headed straight inside, crossing the lobby.

“What’s all that about?” Sam asked as he held the heavy wooden door open for her. Katie shrugged and stepped into the room.

“Beats me, he obviously has something on his mind.” She said, walking into the large wooden bar which curved along the back of the circular room. “Can I have…” she trailed off as she spotted the TV on the wall behind the bar tender, which was programmed to the BBC news.

Her eyes widened and she felt Sam stiffen besides her.

“Is this…is this live?” She asked the guy who was waiting to serve them. He nodded. “Can you turn the volume up?”

He nodded again and obliged.

“…at the moment we know that over 70 people have been injured and that number is rising. At least 12 are dead, including Wakanda’s King T'Chaka. Officials have released a video of a suspect who they have identified as James Buchanan Barnes, the Winter Soldier. The infamous HYDRA agent, linked to numerous acts of terrorism and political assassinations.”

Katie swallowed as the picture of the suspect flashed across the screen. It looked like Bucky alright.

“Shit.” Sam said, from behind her.

“Go, get Steve.” She urged, “I need to call Tony.”

*****

“My mom tried to talk me out of enlisting, but, um, not Aunt Peggy. She bought me my first thigh holster.” Sharon smiled as they walked through the lobby.

“Very practical.” Steve nodded.

“And stylish.” Sharon smiled as she stopped by the elevator, pressing the call button before she turned to look at Steve.

“CIA has you stationed over here now?”

“In Berlin, Joint Terrorism Task Force.”

“Right. Right.” Steve nodded. “Sounds fun.”

“I know, right?” Sharon chuckled.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you.” Steve took a deep breath, finally voicing what was on his mind. “When you were spying on me from across the hall…”

“You mean when I was doing my job?” Sharon interrupted but Steve ignored her.

“Did Peggy know?”

Sharon considered him for a moment, before she let out a gentle sigh.

“She kept so many secrets. I didn’t want her to have one from you.” Sharon lay her hand on his arm, and Steve felt the weight lift off his shoulders. He had been so scared that Peggy had been lying to him for the past few years, to hear that she hadn’t was a relief.

“Thanks for walking me back.” Sharon nodded to the elevator “Tell Katie and Sam I’m grateful.”

She moved to give Steve a hug, and he obliged, but the broke apart when they both heard footsteps running towards them.  

“Steve…you gotta see this.” Sam urged and Steve frowned, looking at him, before he spotted Katie running into the lobby, and looking round.

He moved instantly towards her, and she spotted him, hurrying straight towards him.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” He asked, his hands gently curling round her upper arms.

“There’s been a bomb in Vienna.” She explained, taking a deep breath. “A deliberate attack on the signing ceremony.”

Steve felt himself grow cold. “Is everyone okay?”

“I got through to Tony and they’re all safe but the King of Wakanda. He’s dead, Steve” Katie took a deep breath. “And…” She trailed off licking her lips as she took a deep breath.

“Katie, what is it?” Steve’s voice wasn’t unkind but it was firm as he looked at her, and she threw her head back, looking at the ceiling for a moment before, with a monumental effort, she looked back at him, swallowing deeply.

“It’s Bucky, Steve.” Her voice was almost a whisper. “It looks like he’s responsible.”

**** Chapter 30

**Original Posting**

[cucumbers-and-olives]

JATP Masterlist

Random

Everything Unsaid (Luke/Luke parallel)

Luke Patterson likes to hyper fixate on writing songs, and so does Luke Hemmings.

Asshat (Caleb vs. gn!reader) (Platonic, ofc)

You’ve heard of ‘x reader’, you’ve probably read a few too many yourself. Get ready for something new- ‘vs. reader’. In this, you get to fight the BBEG. Have fun!

That one random head cannon that has 100+ notes for some reason?

Bracelets and stuff

~

Character x Character

Off Limits (Julie x Luke)

Julie has a crush on Luke. But what happens when the two of them are sick and home alone for a day?

Dancing Through Time (Julie x Luke)

Julie and Luke meet through the decades, a new person each time, but at their core, still the same. Plans change when a death happens out of turn and the wrong way...

Coffee Shops & Cliches (Julie x Flynn)

“slow burn” coffee shop au

Hot Chocolate & Headcannons (everyone)

this is more of a drabble! kinda what i think each character thinks about hot chocolate lol

Enemies to Lovers Masterlist (Charlie Gillespie x fem!Reader) Ongoing

She’s just Savannah’s assistant. He’s just an actor. They’ve never crossed paths before. But, getting invited to the Gillespie House for Christmas changes that.

~

Character x Reader

Carrie

Falling... On My Butt (Carrie x gn!reader)

Carrie want to take you ice skating, you don’t. She finally convinces you, and you have fun at the rink.

Unrequited Love (Part 1) (Carrie x fem!Reader)

A love story that’s, well, unrequited.

Unrequited Love (Part 2) (Carrie x fem!Reader)

Coming May 7th, Noon EST

~

Julie

Midnight Meetings (Julie x fem!Reader)

It’s a Christmas fic, short and sweet

1950 (Julie x fem!Reader)

Based off the song 1950 by king princess

~

Reggie

Kisses & Cookies (Reggie x fem!Reader)

Every year, your family makes cookies for Christmas. This year, you decide to invite your friends over to help. A food fight happens, and your crush on Reggie is made clear…

The Dark Room. (Non- x reader)

Some… things happened in the dark room. They were there for 25 years, ya know.

When All Is Said and Done (Reggie x fem!Reader) 

Part 2 to The Winner Takes It All

You slowly repair you relationship with Reggie as you get closer to the end of the show.

Want You Back (Reggie x fem!Reader)

After an argument with Reggie, you move to NYC, where you reunite with him under- different -circumstances

~

Luke

A Chance to Learn (Luke x fem!Reader)

You and Luke take a walk through the streets of LA. He has some questions about Hanukkah, and you answer them- but a bit differently than he expected.

She’s A Good Girl  (Luke x platonic!sibling!gn!reader)

Luke hates his younger sister. Her perfect facade, her good grades, and most of all- her boyfriend.

Soda Cans (Luke x non-binary!reader)

oh my god i wish i could put something here, but legit just read it please

~

Let’s Play a Game! If you find a fic listed below (that I lost when I switched urls), you get a prize! DM or send me the link in an ask!

We’re Done (Willex, Ask/Drabble)

[coraxaviary]

An Essay on POC and Fics

[ORIGINALLY A WRITER ASK GAME]: Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

(AKA me explaining in long-form why June is white, complete with some drama and a lot of rambling. Do not feel obligated to read).

.

I’ve never talked about this extensively, but I want to discuss ethnic minority OFCs in fics. Specifically, SiA. I originally was going to make June partially nonwhite. And I ran into problems.

I really found myself worrying about relatability. If a character is POC, I thought it would ruin immersion for people who are looking for an OFC fic to lose themselves in. It’s no secret that I’m Asian-American, and I was originally all for making the character part Asian. It’s ironic that I was worried about immersion when outside of fic spaces, I argue unendingly for Asians to be cast as leads and stereotype-defying roles. Because any POC is also just a person who can be as “relatable” as any white character, theoretically. I feel a little hypocritical, but at the same time it’s true.

When I watched The Walking Dead, Glenn was my absolute favorite. Because he was Korean-American. And for the first time, I watched a major (Asian!) character in a show become hailed as a man defined not by his race, but for his achievements and his personality. If Glenn was white, he still would’ve been one of my favorites. But seeing Asians portrayed as... normal people shouldn’t be this rare. However, it is, at least in mainstream America.

The issue with creating POC characters is racism. That’s always the issue, isn’t it? Racism has been ingrained into every system and cultural dynamic, globally. The remnants of colonialism are alive and well, and the treatment of POC people, generally, is far from sterling.

Thus it became almost impossible for me to justify creating an Asian-American (or, for that matter, any other POC) OFC. They would be defined by race, because back in the 40s, any American ethnic minority had no choice but to be characterized by their appearance. It still happens today. And I wanted the focus to be on humanity, war, bonds, and gender. Not race, because race is unpleasant to talk about. It wouldn’t be fun for me to be researching 1940s race discrimination to create a character who must overcome that too. I’m not looking to undergo an identity crisis in the pursuit of a fic aimed at social justice. I just want to write something fun.

Fic is created, many times, by minority groups, including POC. However, like any institution, it’s white-centric. And I don’t fault it for that. Most media in the mainstream is white-centric and thus it makes perfect sense for the works created based on the material to be also that way. But I felt like I was betraying myself by writing fic and not taking a chance to diversify the narrative.

Because if a significant part of my irl advocacy is attempting to champion race diversity, and I don’t take that chance in the fandom space, am I a hypocrite?

The fault of this culture, and this struggle, is not with me. It’s with the centuries and ages of oppression and typecasting and discrimination in the pages of world history. It’s unavoidable.

However, to be kind of frank, it sucks to have to consider these things when all I wanna do is write a self-indulgent narrative about WWII boyfriends. I want to just be myself and imagine a fun time with my favorite characters. But I know, deep down, that anyone who is not white would not have been accepted into the group. I decided to just circumvent all these problems by writing a white character.

And it’s not true to the narrative if I wrote a POC OFC and then bent all the other characters OOC and forced them to be non-problematic. Because I know, regrettably, that the norm back then (and still in some areas) is casual racism. It was only 1948 when the American Army officially desegregated. You can watch The Pacific for yourself and find out what the Americans called Japanese people. The racial slurs, I’ll admit, made me uncomfortable despite how much I love the series. Army culture in the 40s towards a woman who is also a racial minority would have been egregious. And that’s not fun to write about in a fic.

I can’t not think about race -- not forever, at least. I don’t have that luxury. I do acknowledge that I, as an Asian-Amerian, benefit from a white-centric culture that has designated us (condescendingly) as a “model minority” and as an exception race. Systemic racism is less impactful towards Asians. This is, however, not to discount the terrible history of Asian-American discrimination that is not immediately apparent (I have been told that not everyone is educated of the existence of the Japanese-American internment or other examples of irrefutable discrimination). There is history in my family of experiencing both ends of the Asian-American experience: as a “model” and also discriminated against as a perceived threat (or a scapegoat, if you will, for the Vietnam war and other matters).

I went through a phase (as many American POC do) of wanting to be white when I was very young. I don’t know exactly why. Is it because the American identity is so deeply rooted in the striking visual of the white settler, despite the deep history of the continent in indigenous people? Is it because diversity is (or was) not common in the mainstream -- when we didn’t have people like Glenn at the forefront of media representation but instead had stereotyped caricatures like Mr. Yunioshi? I didn’t know what it meant to be beautiful back then unless the portrait was of caucasian features. I have a distinct memory of complaining to my mother when I was about five or six years old that I didn’t like my black hair, and I think my way of thinking unconsciously had to do more with my Asian heritage than the actual color. I cannot tell you honestly what specifically caused this type of thinking, but it’s more widespread than you’d think among POC children.

So this is why I am a POC and yet I choose to write a white protagonist. Historical fiction always contains complexities: decisions that must be made with the wisest discernment that I don’t feel like I can always make. History is a burden upon us all. The present will never be free of the past, and it’s our job as writers to navigate the gray patches between interpretation and accurate portrayal. Sometimes it seems like an insurmountable task, and sometimes it’s as if I can forget about my POC-ness altogether and lose myself in my OFC without thinking about heritage or discrimination.

But here we are, writing fanfiction of WWII heroes who come from a different time and a different era.

It had to have felt different back then, don’t you think? When I think of the forties, I think of patriotism and B-24s and victory; I think of a feeling of hope tinged with despair. I think of radios and dance halls and tragic heroes and the glory of soldiers dropping from the sky, backlit like angels and tasked with democracy and hope and things that are right and true. I think of a time where Americans united for good.

But this is a glamorized version of history. It’s the enjoyable version, we all know. And it genuinely consisted partially of these snippets of greatness, but there was a larger part that lay, vast, underneath the golden panorama that sometimes we forget about. And I think the WWII fic-writing community is keenly conscious of this aspect. I see it in the writing that we all so lovingly produce: a lot of us understand, at least on a surface level, that war is not glamorous and that the times were still as turbulent as they are today.

It’s something we all must grapple with.

And this, in a slightly dramatic fashion, is my personal conflict of being a person of color, and choosing to write a white character for the sake of joy and fun.

.

Thank you for reading if you got to the end! I love you all :)

.

(Partially inspired by this post by @rhovanian, but mostly my own ruminations based on the brief time I have existed on this earth).

.

[progressivejudaism]

Heya! So, I am writing a story where there are many characters who celebrate Christmas and only one Jewish character. For those who have been in similar situations irl, is there any way to "mix" the two traditions? What is something that the goyim characters can do to celebrate with the Jewish character without being 'offensive' and not leaving her alone? (By this ofc I don't mean that she has to actually celebrate Christmas. it would be quite nonsensical)

Hi there friend,

Thanks so much for reaching out.  My name is Josh (he/him/his) and I’m a student rabbi living in NYC. 

Hanukkah is the celebration of a battle fought against the Greek army in c 200 BCE to fight against their desire to assimilate the Jews into Greek culture.  With Christmas beyond the dominant holiday this season being celebrated by the dominate culture in most places where Jews celebrate Hanukkah- most Jews hold that it would be inappropriate to “mix” these two traditions.  With that, I cannot think of very many Jewish and Christian traditions that could be “mixed” together.

In my reading of your message, I read that you might not be Jewish -- but a well-meaning person who seeks to include Jews in your story.  That is fantastic and amazing. Thank you for thinking of the Jewish People-- and what is often our struggle this time of year.  It can be incredibly painful for many Jews to have no one to celebrate Hanukkah with this time of year-- and to see Christmas decorations everywhere!

Please know that the following paragraph comes out of full admiration and thankfulness of your project -- and out of respect to you (via my assumption- and I fully apologize if my assumption is wrong here) and out of respect of your integrity as a writer.  (This message is also for similar writers in similar situations)

I tend to argue that non-Jews should avoid writing main Jewish characters because frequently I have seen so many misrepresentations of Jews and Judaism.  Some folks argue that this depictions are antisemitic, some just become very sad at these depictions.  From issues of theology (Jewish theology is far from Christian theology), Peoplehood/Nationhood/Zionism/Jewish Togetherness (whatever you want to call it), Jewish ethnicity (as an example, recently Disney has come under fire for a challenge related to this), the character’s assimilated identity, denominational, “secularness,” their connection with Israel and the Holocaust, etc to issues of the fact that it is really hard to accurately write about a culture that one is not a part of.  All of these factors and others affect how Jews act in the world.   In my experience as a rabbinical student, Jewish Educator, and professional Jew, I believe that the only non-Jews who could really accurately portray a Jewish person are spouses, children, parents, and close friends of Jewish people who are semi-active or active in the Jewish community.  I can pinpoint several people-- congregants, friend’s parents, and family-- who are not Jewish but who probably could write a pretty convincing Jewish character.  That is because they have lived Judaism through the eyes of their loved ones for so many years.  I just want to caution all well-meaning beautiful non-Jewish souls out there who want to engage in this writing style - to do so with caution.   I would HATE for you to go into a project with the full intention of being respectful and wonderful, only for you to get something wrong-- or really wrong.  Subtle nuances in tone, theology, and practice can be a writer’s downfall in this mode. And I would hate for someone to call you antisemitic or xenophobic for missing the mark on something that you had such good intentions wish.  That would make me very sad.

Just as a final note, there are many activities that Jews and Christians can do this time of year to be together in their celebrations!  One example is simply when a Christian attends a Hanukkah party-- or when they are present when their Jewish family and friends light their Hanukiot (plural for Hanukiah- the Hanukkah Menorah).  Another example is when a Jewish person might eat Christmas dinner with their Christian friends or family-- or even attend Midnight Mass with their loved ones.  In a lot of Jewish communities, everyone gathers on the first or last night of Hanukkah to celebrate together-- and in several they gather on Shabbat for a special Hanukkah meal, candle lighting, Kabbalat Shabbat Hanukkah-style service, and games!  This would be another perfect opportunity for Christian loved ones to come and be present with their Jewish loved ones.  Another great option for Jews hoping to celebrate Christmas with and for their Christian loved ones is on Christmas morning-- how fun would it be to wake up in your loved ones home to celebrate Christmas morning together!  There are also plenty of classic Hanukkah and classic Christmas movies that friends and family can watch together-- and so much music!

I hope that this helps!  Please let me know if you’d like to chat about anything else- I’m all ears!

I hope that your holiday celebrations have been warm and bright,

l’shalom,

Josh

[riskeith]

hey 🥺

a gamer girl heh? 🥴 what other games do you play? i’ve heard about genshin but i’m waiting for it to drop on switch... but it’s taking forever.. :/ also I’M SO GLAD YOU’RE CHILLING.. you deserve exactly that, love. as for me, thank you for asking, i’ve been good as well. i mean school stress is school stress nothing new about that. just been excited to get winter break which has finally arrived now.

it’s tomorrow for you now, so i hope you got the results you wanted!!!!! i have classes until friday but there are no more exams or finals which feels absolutely amazing. super freeing too. i’m sure you relate haha. so far everything has went well, but like you i’m also waiting for the results. guess we’ll see how that goes 🤷🏽‍♀️ ofc you can ask!! i study criminal justice and social science, heh. i’m super interested in the science behind criminals and crime in general so this felt perfect. and it has been, as i graduate in 6 months 😳 what do you study? (are you in university?)

i’m loving the festival arc so far! i caught a couple eps last night and it was exactly what we needed after the heaviness of the overhaul arc 🥺 my girl jirou’s shining and i love her sm... actually i was talking with my brother about this the other day but mha is one of those anime imo where every character is just so /good/ n fleshed out. i literally love all of them (except endevour but that’s a given). it rly shows you that good writing can go so far...

fun fact, i read your tododeku fics first of all because they were my first ship on the show and i LOVED them. your fics were the first ones i read in the fandom, tbh 🥺 it wasn’t until around ~season 3 that todobaku grew on me so around that time i just emerged myself in the rest of ur fics. been great. always great reading ur fics honestly 🥺

YOU FINISHED TDP? omg that makes me so incredibly happy you have no idea. the worldbuilding this season was phenomenal!! i love that we got to travel further into the world and see the deeper dynamics between the elves and humans. and yes rayllum is godsent for sure like i don’t know what we did to deserve this but damn. i love it. it’s a breath fresh air after stanning these either non-canon ship, ships that take 6 seasons to become somewhat canon or the worst: queer-baited ships. (i’m sure we both relate to that). not that anything is wrong with the first two but yk... having canon content is always nice.

i’m literally sooo sorry to your followers for sending these essays lmao 😳 i try to keep it short but damn ig i have a lot to say to you sjdkfjfjf i hope you don’t mind... can’t wait to hear from you mwah <3

hello!!!

i honestly don’t even play many other games lol, but shoutout to csgo bc it’s also free. i was gonna try play apex legends as well but it scared me too much fhdskjfs. i’ve also played the last of us before, and i loved it soooo much. hbu?? (also genshin is available on mobile too wink wink)

how long is winter break? does it snow where you are? i hope you enjoy it and get some well deserved rest~ ❄

i did!!!!!!!!!!!!! i didn’t do as well as last sem but my scores are still high so i’m v happy :)) yessss that’s so good! and good luck w your results! i’m sure you smashed it 💪💪 omgggg that’s so cool! do you like true crime then? i actually considered criminology too, i find that super interesting.

and (6 months early but) congrats!!! good luck with graduating and everything that comes with it, i imagine it’s quite exciting! 🥳

as for me, i’ve finished my first year of uni! i study biomed, and i’m taking japanese as my elective! gonna live out my full weeb potential ahah 🤪

jirou best girl <33 it’s so cool she knows how to play so many instruments... teach me pls. and yep! they really are their own unique character, each with their own quirks (wink) and personalities! 

tddk were my first ship too! 🤝 and thank you so much 😭😭😭😭 it makes me so happy to hear you like my stuff! <33 oooh season 3! that’s earlier than i got into them i think.. that’s legendary 😩 

yes!!! amaya and janai too omg... queens! also that????? avatar reference with the boomerang?? i lost my mind omg i was like ‘no way.. did they just?? they really just did that!’ the lore of the show really is so great, and i also loved soren’s redemption? he’s in my good books now ahah. (sigh k-klance..) rayllum are so pure ‘breath of fresh air’ is such a good descriptor! they’re support for each other and belief/confidence they have in the other is just so :* chef’s kiss

i don’t mind at all!! and i doubt anyone else does... at least they better not >:( jk LOL. i loveee hearing everything you have to say and it’s so fun to write back! hope to hear from you soon~ hope you’re keeping well! 💕