#making my last posts suffering before i stfu forever

[aesthetic-gem]

so in the the end q!badboyhalo was not only father to dapper. he adopted pomme. he was richas pai if only for one special minute. ramon had told him before he was more of a father than others were. trumpet was taken care of by him til his last days. lullah had always said he was like a father to her. and some of leo’s last words for him were that he was also her pa. all the little eggs wouldn’t have made it this far without their tio. it’s very gratifying to see all the love he poured out was given back to him tenfold ♡ rest well little ones

[elinor-sutton]

Fuck MAGA: Then & Now

I started this blog right after the 2016 election.

I was angry, and it was an outlet that I needed, but after a few posts, I did not consider my rage a priority worth my time.

I was told that it might be unhealthy to indulge an anger so deep that it began to form, for me, an existential foundation of being—almost always in hair-trigger battle mode, rhetoric and righteous anger at the ever-fucking READY.

BUT I have a life that needs attention and only occasionally merits ferocity, so I gave up blogging.

And now? All this time later, I am still in a near-constant state of slow burn, and it’s been way too long without an eruption.

In the year-and-a-half since I let the blog slide, the Perpetrator-in-Chief has lived down to the worst of my expectations, and he shows no signs of improvement. It’s a narcissist thing. He CANNOT improve because he cannot recognize ANY of his infinite faults. Here’s one: GROWN-UPS don’t play Keep Away or Made You Look or the fucking Dozens with psychotic nuclear-arsenal-wielding tyrants. [It should go without saying that, if at all possible, nuclear arsenals should not be handed to psychotic tyrants in the first place, but MAGA, or whatever, right? If you live, maybe you learn. FINGERS CROSSED!]

But really, are we STILL living in a world where the safety of [at least] half the planet comes down to a man-child measuring contest?

Dear President Prick-for-Brains,

If you have to start a motherfucking WAR over it, it’s NEVER going to measure UP!

Sincerely,

Elinor S. and—oh yes, the ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD SO JUST STFU ALREADY!

Yep—still SUPER-PISSED!

If you’re looking at the world—and the supposed leader of those parts of it which are purportedly “free”—and you’re not losing your damn mind, you must have some sort of pre-established lunacy. [I’m not speaking of mental health problems. Mental health and mental healthcare are legitimate issues ignored by the thoughts-and-prayers crowd unless they need a scapegoat/catchphrase for the walking, shooting consequences of MAGA-indoctrination.] I’m thinking of the WHITE-NATIONALIST-NAZI-RACIST-MISOGYNISTIC-PATRIOTISM-BEFORE-PEOPLE-BUT-REALLY-ME-FIRST-AND-FUCK-EVERYONE-ELSE psychosis that passes for conservative politics since 45 first got his ridiculous feelings hurt by a black man and a “nasty woman” who were—and ARE—undeniably his betters. Or maybe since Mitch McConnell crawled out of his deep, dark shell and STOLE A SUPREME COURT SEAT while we sat on our hands and muttered, “Can he do that?”

Evidently, he can! AND with ZERO consequences—not for him or any other limp-dick Sentry of the Status Quo tip-toeing his way across the Glass Ceiling, stroking his Keys to the Kingdom, or hiding under his Protector of the Patriarchy parasol because HE KNOWS—they ALL know—that “Zero Consequences” comes with a big, fat, fucking YET, and she is a BOSS BITCH—woke and coming ready with a to-do list several centuries in the making. Her list says, “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.” It says Black Lives Matter, Me Too, My Body/My Choice, LOVEisLOVE, NoH8, and NO MORE. She’s got Science-based, Evidence-based, Fact-based TRUTH with ZERO Alternatives because TIME is fucking UP!

And that means White Male Privilege [WMP—pronounced “wimp,” right?] is coming to an end. I can’t pinpoint the starting line, but scared-shitless white men with money and/or guns have been running THE REST OF US down since well before this “great” nation was founded, and there are far too many of “the rest of us” who buy into their bullshit—53% of white women [pronounced “silly twits”]?! If you don’t fall into any category that benefits from WMP, and you voted/plan to vote for more of this nonsense, your patriotic duty, as of this moment, is to wake up every morning and punch yourself in the fucking face until something like SENSE prevails. Side effects MAY include REASON and a newfound appreciation for ACTUAL FACTS as opposed to the alternative variety, but if that fails, it is my heartfelt hope that when you make your way to the voting booth—to do what is, of course, your civic duty—you may just do us all a favor, and GET LOST!

[On a friendlier note, if you benefit from WMP and DID NOT vote in favor of our present national tragedy, congratulations on your conscience! Please take your place in the crowd, and resist the urge to act like you know everything. Instead, memorize this mantra and repeat to yourself as often as necessary to convert words to action: I’VE HAD MY TURN TO TALK. NOW IS MY TIME TO LISTEN.]

I am still angry, and I will remain so as long as “Making America Great” looks like:

1. Children murdered at school with unregulated guns or ripped away from immigrant parents who thought they could find safety in this “great” country,

2. Law enforcement abusing and KILLING men and women of color without consequence,

3. Tax cuts designed to further line the pockets of the few at the expense of the many and promote the “trickle-down” bullshit we’ve been forced to swallow, off and on, since the fucking 80s—when it didn’t work the first time.

4. Ordinary Americans struggling, or going without, while working full time for LESS THAN A LIVING WAGE,

5. Ignoring veterans who are homeless, wait months for promised healthcare, and/or commit suicide at more than twice the rate of civilians,

6. Women facing unconstitutional restrictions on access to reproductive healthcare and a choice that is STILL A LEGAL RIGHT,

7. LGBTQ+ people living with discrimination from bathrooms to bakeries and everywhere in-between—including public schools and the workplace,

8. People with disabilities at risk of losing the protection of the ADA, and disabled children at risk of losing their right to a “free and appropriate public education” under IDEA,

9. Underserved children, or those who suffer illegal discrimination in schools, losing protection from the Department of Education’s Office for Civil Rights,

10. Environmental protections rolled back to protect corporate profits,

11. The sex offender/demagogue/imbecilic slab of semi-sentient slime—AND the soulless mob of Republican/MAGA-minions fighting to stroke his [gross] ego—that we have given ourselves in place of legitimate leadership,

12. And the untold number of HUMAN BEINGS suffering from the tragic FOLLY of a deluded minority of voters.

For as long as this country is attacked by toxic overgrown toddlers who play at governing, and in their incompetence, damage its environment, menace its people, abuse the fundamentals of democracy and the republic, and terrorize those who protest, I will NURSE this rage and STOKE its fire.

This is MY COUNTRY. I love it, and I recognize that TRUE LOVE does not ignore fault. This country has NEVER achieved “greatness” for all of its people. It is fortunate for “the rest of us” that patriotism does not demand blind loyalty. It does not hinge love of country on absolutes, and it does not forever marry us to White Male Privilege and what has been done in its name. We pledge allegiance to an IDEAL, and then we work the phones, yell ourselves hoarse, march until our feet bleed, and fucking VOTE to mold OUR COUNTRY into what it should be.

We DO NOT forget the progress we have made. We remember every step forward even as we recognize that the ignorant, forgotten [whatever], and privileged—with their long-overdue last gasp—forced us to take two steps back. We didn’t NEED to go backward. Nobody needs this bullshit—EVER. But we can use this. We can take a look, MARK what we missed and LEARN where and HOW we can do better. We can do what needs to be done to make sure this doesn’t happen again.

Step One: EMBRACE the anger. We can be appalled at all the FUCKING BULLSHIT the MAGA-goons have wrought and amazed that WE STILL HAVE FUCKS TO GIVE. We can revel in the madness that living in this time brings us—because progressives know how to USE rage. We know how to mine it. We have a long history of crafting change from righteous anger, and [always] moving on—an inch or a mile at a time—pushing a reluctant nation to keep its promise of “LIBERTY and JUSTICE for ALL.”

Numbers, time, and momentum are on OUR SIDE. We need to get MAD, and we need to do it TOGETHER—FOR FUCK’S OBVIOUS SAKE—and then we need to run these backward motherfuckers down with an ever-loving TIDAL WAVE OF PROGRESS that will put two steps back so far beyond the last red mile marker that even Donald Trump and Mitch McConnell will regain consciousness in the gender-neutral bathroom of an inclusive, well-funded public school with no fear of shooters, fully aware that Black Lives Matter, wearing a pussyhat, shouting TIME’S UP, and feeling grateful for the motherfucking PRIVILEGE!

So yeah, I’ve been paying attention, and I’m still angry, and it’s long past time to start talking about it again.

Stay tuned.

[doyouever-daydream]

*WARNING* Sherlock Spoilers (and just me, rambling).

First things first… I’ll be reblogging a lot of Sherlock spoilers, so a little heads up. Also these are ~my opinions~ and you’re free to agree or disagree, just please don’t disrespect. IT WAS TOO MUCH FOR ME, MY BRAIN, MY HEART. WAY. TOO. MUCH.

I’m starting this post while I watch for the second time the episode. I’m just getting to the part in the aquarium so I’ll start crying my eyes out soon… My comments won’t follow the episode’s timeline, my brain it’s just too messed up for that. That little old lady gave me a strange feeling… Oh, was I right about that… Although I’ve never liked Lady Smallwood and kinda wished she was the bad one but oh, well… I just finished watching it again and I can’t, I seriously feel so confused, empty, sad, nostalgic. I feel as if I’ve finished the whole series not an episode it’s just so weird 💔 Back to the old lady Vivian, I genuinely thought she was going to kill herself, I seriously thought “she’s going to pull a ‘Moriarty’ and shoot herself” but no, she pulled the trigger and the rest just broke my heart, when they showed the bullet in slow motion I thought it was someone’s dream or hallucination, for that matter, but never I expected to see Mary dying, at least I wished they would’ve waited until the second episode because she didn’t have enough time with Rosie… Btw it disappointed me to see how short were the scenes related to the baby ALSO I’m not looking forward to how happy this will make to all those who hated Mary and the baby, also that scene after the credits… What. The. Fuck. Mofftiss are just feeding the hate towards Mary… Although there’s just little hope in me that this will be like a code or something, maybe hell is related to Moriarty? I don’t think she’ll come back but I do think she’ll still have a huge impact on the series and will help Sherlock to solve crimes (ok, I’m lying, I do have little hope, that they would bring her back but the rational part of my brain says ‘They won’t stfu’) Anyway, back to my ramble, Amanda Abbington is BEAUTIFUL. So is pretty much everyone in this show but I’ve always loved her eyes, nose and smile… And her hair is *was* gorgeous this series :( Talking about the hair… Jawn Watson got me feeling a little funny, I had a school girl’s crush on him ~and his hair~ even I would’ve given him my phone number ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° now that I’ve got to this point… What. The. Hell. That’s all very unlike the character they’ve shown us so I find it odd BUT I do get, that as humans we tend to have moments of weakness (Note: that bus lady is a little off, I don’t have a good feeling about this, no matter the outcome) Talking about doctor Watson… The fuck is wrong with you!? I do understand he’s grieving and a way of reacting is anger but why towards Sherlock? It’s not his fault, so I hope they can get through this and be happy (I really hope people don’t murder me for this but I do enjoy watching Jlock moments although I don’t ship them, I ship Sherlock with someone else *cough* but from my point of view both ships have moments that gives us, the shippers, so much joy, -and we should focus on that and not on hating other people’s ships, live and let live as Mrs. H once said, anywayyyyy) The first scene made me so happy, it’s more easy for me to say which character I love a little less than to choose just one or two favorites, so I love Mycroft, and I love it when the Holmes brothers get together the whole ‘I’m not good with humans’ scene was also a favorite, I called it, since the moment he said 'I’m not good with them’ I knew he meant humans, oh, Mycroft, some days I am you haha Lestrade is like a fine wine, he gets better with age, my heart bursts out whenever he appears I also loved how excited he got when Sherlock said his name. Mrs. Hudson is still beautiful and she made me feel less sad in that scene where she’s with Sherlock after Mary’s death…. BTW, I think it’s beautiful baby Rosie has three godparents, Sherlock, Mrs. H and my precious little Molly. I didn’t have enough Molly, I need more of her, Molly and Loo, I love them both. Talking about Molly, two things I need to write before I forget, for the very first time I was a little upset because of her (Well, Mofftiss everything I’m feeling right now is because of them, especially Mark) Why? Because she said what John said… I mean, Sherlock’s already feeling like shit, there’s no need to tell him that, smh. But I feel like they had her saying this because this time she is or feels like she needs to be on John’s side… Not sure how to explain this but once she had to lie to John about Sherlock’s death, now as a way of support she follows John’s instructions but on another note, when setlock happened I remember being so excited about this picture of Molly holding the baby and Sherlock there, also whenever Loo said they shared a beautiful moment I thought this could be it, but no, this scene ruined the picture for a few minutes (maybe more but I’ll just read some Sherlolly fics inspired by that picture to feel better). Oh, another thing for one moment I imagined Molly keeping the baby and being a single mother to Rosie (crazy, random thought inspired by the movie 'life as we know it’ probably) Sherlock. Finally got to this character that has grown up (well, sort of haha) so much since the beginning, I loved how he cared so much for the Watsons, I enjoyed how he and Mary were like new BFF’s but nothing lasts forever *cries again* I also loved the fact that he showed Mycroft, Rosie, and obviously the scenes with her just make me so happy, his sentimental side is more explored and I can’t wait to see how they show that on the next couple episodes (that will have me crying and suffering as usual), I hope he doesn’t feel like Mary’s death was his fault, there’s no one to blame.*** Final thoughts It was too much, I’ll say it again, I feel like they tried to put one series in just one episode, had my head spinning just a little but I love this show, always have and always will (probably). Sherrinford. I’ll just leave it there. I feel like 80% of the things I saw during setlock were for this episode… Hmmm right after I wrote that I remembered a bunch of photos from setlock and well… Nope, there’s some things that weren’t on this first episode, I guess my brain is still too messed up to function properly. Right after I finished the episode I wished I could turn back time and still be waiting for the series and live off fanfics because the ~reality~ was too much for me but I’ll get through this and I can’t wait to have my heart broken next week. I’m so thankful for Tumblr, since none of my friends watch Sherlock, here’s the only place I can write about it. ***When there’s no one to blame I mean the characters, although I wished she wasn’t dead, I think her death was kinda lame? I’ll compare it to another TV show I love: Criminal Minds… WARNING CM Spoilers. It was like when they killed Maeve, in both cases they could’ve done something before the killers pulled the trigger, in both shows they’ve done it before, p.e. they’d shoot the person holding the gun before they’d do anything so I do think it’s a little disappointing to see Mary killed this way, just as I thought when I watched that Criminal Minds episode. But when it comes to Mofftiss, writers I admire, it’s even more shocking to me that they decided to have some random lady shoot and ending Mary’s life (although it was aimed to Sherlock, I know, I know) but oh, well, I’m still a sucker for this show. Fun fact I need and want to share, I wrote a fanfic pairing Sherlock with an OC, I re wrote the episodes and made her a part of them plus original scenes, the point is I thought the end of my fic should be after series 3 since there was no way my OC would fit in series 4 but turns out I could so joke’s on me, my imagination will run wild hahaha My rambling ends NOW. Finally.

[aesthetic-gem]

thinking about bad and lullah and how one of their last major interactions was about understanding and forgiveness. how it was about a girl once again confessing how much her tio was like a father to her. how they made plans to make up for a day lost, a promise never kept, and that will never be because lullah never woke up from her slumber