#mad respect to the people who DO make it work and don't just follow some stupid trend bc of some SHITTY wig THAT WASNT EVEN BLONDE

[theoddest1]

Let's Actually Talk About The Issues With Vivziepop

Okay, first off, hello you beautiful people! Sorry about this foreboding title, but I needed to catch y'all attention on this so I can break down the issues that I and many have with "Hazbin Hotel" and "Helluva Boss" creator, Vivienne Medrano. Now I am sure you all on here are already aware of at least a couple of the controversies that revolve around this particular creator and if you have seen my posts floating around already, some have been greeted with the problems surrounding her social media presence and just her overall as a person. I know seeing another callout on her seems very very tiring at this point, but I felt that a lot of the current callouts missed key details that were not at all addressed or properly delved on. I plan on shedding light on my issues with her and I hope you get where I am coming from when I say that she sucks.

BULLYING

Okay, I am starting off with Vivienne's blatant use of bully mentality, her agreeing or encouraging her fans to call people who see flaws in her works sub-humans or harass those who find issue or simply jest about her works trademark cussing and and overcrowded designs. She has had this issue for YEARS and refuses to grow up and act her age despite many telling her, even her own fans at times, that she shouldn't be acting so unprofessionally. Clearly, she doesn't care and thanks to her fanbase caring more about her feelings than her being better she feels as though she doesn't need to change or do better. This goes for her friend group as well, who defend her tremendously and act as though she is never in the wrong. Name one time a friend of hers called her out for acting childish, I'll wait.

Now, you're probably wondering, "Wtf could they have done to warrant such a response?"

Criticism...That's all they did. (White Text is random peeps they would speak with or maybe mutuals)

Keep in mind...they used to be a fan as well. They were also a minor at this point

But, Viv doesn't care, this person's critical yet harmless tweets about her shows is what lead to her painting them in a horrible light and making them out to be someone who has attacked her personally and as "nasty".

Rich coming from Viv since she is completely fine doing exactly that for "Ava's Demon". Not only does she criticize it, she takes a shot at the creator as well, but GOD FORBID others do the same towards her.

And according to someone who knew her well, it's all cause they felt creeped out by her.

Her hatred for criticism is so prominent that Ima makes that a section of its own. But let's get back on the topic of bullying.

Vivienne has a fanbase filled to the brim with pushy and overall annoying individuals who have harassed, threatened, disrespected, and wished harm on many people, all cause someone had a negative thing to say about Vivziepop's mid af show. One of the earlier known instances is the one revolving around a MEME of all things.

This was what started it all, and it led to both parties blocking each other and people being mad pushy and calling them an idiot and the like over their opinions. Now look, their take and you're opinion on said take is fine so long as you stay respectful and humane about it all, but don't dogpike someone all cause they think HH sucks. And while Viv can not control her fanbase, for they are not a hivemind (some of y'all act it tho, ima keep it real) she is seen here ENCOURAGING the behavior. Tell me how someone who doesn't even like your trash ass show has the sense to tell people not to harass others, someone with a smaller following, but not your grown damn near 30 year old ass?

Oh, but people wanna act like she can handle criticism, is a sweet person, and grew from her past experiences. Fam, she was 27 in this screenshot [December 16, 2019] and has shown no change from 2013 to fucking 2024. Over a decade of the same petty ass behavior, and keep in mind, according to several of her old friends and workers, she is worse behind close doors. WORSE. She's already acting like she got no damn sense out in the open, imagine behind closed doors.

Last but not least, a glimpse into her outright blatant slander towards Dollcreep, a once good friend of hers that she even visited and spoke with frequently!

She stated that they fetishized pedophilia yet according to the victim and friends of the victim who were once friends with Viv as well, Viv actually threatened to end their friendship if he hadn't drawn NSFW art of her character and his character having sex [Addi was 15 at the time this was drawn]

On top of that, she liked the post, something she didn't need to do. The art also depicted things she had regularly drawn on her own. Addi being tied up forcefully, being sexualized, being harmed to some degree through bondage, etc. The claim that she forced DC to draw this out is backed up by her own art depicting similar elements. Also, if my memory serves me well, Viv and Doll were 17-18 years old [Doll was 17 Viv 18] and have a 1-year age gap. The way Viv frames things here is as if DC was way older and imposed some sort of power over DC, which sources say otherwise. If anything, Viv had a LOT of control throughout all of this drama, which deserves its own section.

I'll be making posts that talk about the different issues regarding Viv, so one post isn't too long (this one is already lengthy enough) and that you can just pick at one post targeting certain issues around this creator.

[byooregard]

x men tumblr dashboard simulator

bluebabadee

THIS BLOG IS A SAFE SPACE FOR NON-HUMAN PASSING MUTANTS. HUMAN PASSING MUTANTS DNI

10 notes 📌Pinned Post

sparklejays Follow

based on your likes!

every time I see a human talking about "how cool it would be to have superpowers" or some shit like that I loose it a little bit more. do these people realize that being a mutant isn't just fun powers. like even beyond the shit I deal with trying to get jobs or all the relationships that have been ruined once people realized I'm a mutant. abilities aren't just fun and games, I have a friend who can't touch people without nearly killing them, I burned down three buildings before someone finally taught me to control my abilities, and these people are all like "wouldn't it be great to fly to work every day??" just admit that you see us as comic book characters and not real people with real struggles

#actually mutant #jay .txt

276 notes

scamperpamperblog reblogged spocktism

🏙️tilleys-brain Follow

self diagnosing is great and all but most of you people aren't telepaths, you're just hyperempathic

#actually mutant #actually telepathic #hyperempathy #crosstagging i know but some of yall need to see this #tilley speaks #it can be dangerous to go around acting like you know peopels actual thoughts when its just your brain

1,657 notes

oh-you-pretty-things

.

#vent post #sometimes I get really mad at magneto #like I think he's done a lot for mutant rights and stuff #but I'm so fucking tired of everyone assuming that I'm evil just because of my powers #like jesus not all of us are trying to start atomic wars #some metallokinetics just use their abilities to make cool sculptures #but I can't get a spoon from across the room in front of strangers without someone mentioning jfk

3 notes

mutantbuffy reblogged muntantpollscentral

🩻mutantpollscentral

*physical mutation meaning something that is ALWAYS physical, not just something you can turn off and on whenever

#ig my mutation IS technically physical its just not visible to people most of the time so i feel weird claiming that #but like i was born with the tattoo marks #the powers didnt come till later tho #so idk which to pick

668 notes

sploimsh reblogged jesterjuleses

🎹pussy-truck-faggot

HEY! shout-out to people with *weird* mutations. Mutations that don't look cool, mutations that are gross, mutations that are dirty, mutations that you can't tell people about because they always cringe. You're just as valid as every other mutant out there. Your powers don't need to be palettable to humans for you to be treated with respect.

#THIS!!! #rb

5,678 notes

rosetvler

god i am so tired of the hypocrisy in this community. the double standards are insane. its okay to have 'scary' powers but the moment someone's abilities are scarier than like, pyrokinesis you're evil and dangerous to be around. 'acceptance' for you people only means nice mutants who've never hurt or scared anyone ever.

rosetvler reblogged rosetvler

non-mutants can reblog this btw

#srb #actually mutant #getting real tired of this

18 notes

katiedidnt reblogged morelikesexmen

🩻magicsteele27 Follow

okay like. i get that were all about acceptance and pride or w/e but no one in this tag has ever had friends irl i swear. if someone asks you not to read their mind you shouldnt. honestly you shouldnt be using telepathy on people at all without their permission. mutant abilities dont disclude you from respecting peoples boundaries

🌌rosetvler Mutuals

i swear to god you people are such hypocrites. its all 'mutant and proud' until someone has a power you dont like. its always about keeping the humans feeling comfortable instead of thinking about how it feels to never use your powers because theyre breaking 'boundaries' that were made up by humans in the first place

🩻magicsteele27 Follow

dude do you hear yourself right now

🎆jade-the-pyromancer Follow

Hey, I like your point op, but maybe you should stop trying to speak over actual telepaths and let them decide how to use their powers themselves???

🩻magicsteele27 Follow

i. i am a telepath.

#duddeeee telepaths are insane #used to be friends with one SO glad i broke that off before it went too bad

15,678 notes

[ghostieyanyan]

Hello uuuh what yandere riddle rose heart react if he met Mc like...mc is the princess of redrose thorn in another kingdom and she is the house warden president in another school....she is powerful...and mc doesn't have too strict rules but mcs student respect her and there are only 5 rules...1 don't be late 2 always do your cleaning day 3 no running in the halls 4 always respect and kind each other 5 never let the house warden president mad.......cause mc gets really scary than riddle and mc sometimes a little crazy and punished of who will messing with her classmates dorm or who will getting violent...

~Rose Princess! Mc~

Yan!Riddle x Rose Princess! Mc

Warning: yandere, implied kidnapping, maybe some misspellings,

I made it so this mc isn't perfect! i hope that's okay

~~~

Riddle ran things his way. its either you follow all of his rules or "off with your head!" Even after the overblot, he's became or lenient but overall he's still a stickler for rules.

When Riddle met you, he didn't really mind it too much. you were just mixed with those other trouble makers in school. as long as you didn't get in to trouble, he'll stay out of your way.

That changed when he keep seeing you in Heartslabyul. its one thing is he were to find you with ace, deuce, grim, and the prefect. but its another when he sees you messing with his roses!!!

"Hey!!"

You jumped and wiped your head around to see a red faced Riddle.

"Who gave you authorization to touch the roses?!"

When he got closer, he realized you were tending to the roses! You were cutting off the dead branches that other students will either ignore or not noticed. Those branches are often by the roots of the brush, which makes it an unpleasant job to do. It showed on your hands and arms too. Cuts from the roses thorns...

"Oh my! I am very sorry, Head housewarden."

You stood up and bowed your head. which he wasn't prepared for a formal greeting. With the crowd you spend your time with... who could blame him...

"i noticed that some of the branches were rotting, so I've taken it upon myself to tend to them before they spread. i told Vice warden Trey ahead of time which he'd told me... he'll tell you..."

Riddle blinked. He looked at your work, the roots have been cleared of its old rotten branches and it looked overall more healthier. He turned to look at a basket you had, it was filled with a mixture of tools and roots. Riddle shifted his glaze at you. You're uniform was messy, with rips and dirt everywhere...

"Im sorry House Warden! i should have came to you directly for this request! Im sorry!"

You bowed your head again.

Riddle looked at everything one more time and turned to you.

"How do you know how to tend to the roses..? Not a lot of people know or even think about working with roses because of their thorns.."

You lifted your head, swiping your uniform to get rid of any lose dirt.

"Im..."

You bit your tongue for a moment then let out a breathe to continue.

"Im a Princess Redrose Thorn..."

Riddle had to do a double take on you.

"A princess..??"

There was an awkward moment of silence. You were about to continue when Riddle stopped you.

"finish with what you are doing here and after you are done, clean up and meet me in my room, please."

Riddle turned on his heel and started to walk away, after finishing with-.

"I'd like to discuss this when you are more presentable."

Then he was off..

~

Before your "meet up," he got himself your records. You were a princess in a land that are known for their different variations of roses. Nothing like Queendom of Roses, his homeland.

He found your last school, and how you had a very important role in that school. That was, before you were accepted in Night Raven College...

While he was lost in thought, looking at your files, he hears a knock.

"Come it!"

Riddle watched your head peep out behind the door. He tried to keep a neutral face but kinda failed...

"Ahem-! Please take a seat! I've.. made tea."

Watching Riddle stammer a bit was cute. you gave him a smile and walked inside, closing the door on the way. Riddle took the chance to pull out your seat, "out of respect".

There was an awkward moment of quiet but you didn't mind it. You took the opportunity too look at the house warden's room. Its as you expected it. Everything is neat and tidy. Everything is where it should be, very orderly. You see lots of books!! On his book shelf, on his desk, side table, they weren't messy but neatly stacked which you appreciate.

"Ahem!"

You jumped and turned to Riddle. You didn't mean to get lost in thought but you did.

"About the roses..."

"I really am sorry for messing with them without your permission, head-"

"Riddle. And its alright, i haven't seen anyone pay that much attention to their responsibility in the dorm. Normally they cut corners and not thing of the overall dorm structure."

He took a sip of his tea and glared to the imaginary freshman Heartslaybul students to the side.

"heh.. I just know how to tend to them."

"You said that you are a princess? why would a princess actively gets her hands dirty?"

"Oh!"

You laughed as you looked at your tea cup, running your fingers against the details of the saucer.

"where ive from, id like to rule hands on."

You straighten yourself and looked at Riddle. He swore you were glowing.

"The place i protect is my home too. As a princess, i have big responsibilities but i cant forget the little things either. That's why i like to be hands on."

Riddle felt a stammer coming, so he took a sip to stop it.

"Your homeland... its also practices the Queen of Hearts rule, correct?"

"well... yes and no?"

Riddle felt a twitch, how could you follow someone like the queen of hearts without following all her rules to a T? You're basically making a mockery of her... what a joke..

"My kingdom believes in what she stand for. Strength and Beauty! like a Rose with their thorns. Roses are used of many things, but they are not push overs. That's what we believe."

You took a sip but continued.

"Before i was accepted into Night Raven College, I was a part of another school, Rose Royal Academy. You could think of it as if Heartslabyul was a whole school. You could say i was the "housewarden" so i understand how things should run."

Riddle looked at you surprised. Honestly he was only listening partly to what you were saying, he was distracted by the way your lips moved... But he was quick grounded after hearing you were borderline a housewarden??

"Wait! how could you run a whole school without following all the rules of the queen of hearts?? It would have been mayhem! The students need structure, if not theyre just wild beast!!"

You looked at him surprised and kinda insulted by the idea of your classmates before were "such beast.' You coughed but answered his question.

"it wasnt like we didnt have rules, we just had 5."

You took a sip of tea as Riddle coughed.

"5?!?!"

"Yes. 5."

You placed your cup down and held up 5 fingers to name the rules.

"1, don't be late. Everyone should be punctual with time unless there's an emergency. 2, always do your cleaning day. Everyone has a task to clean a part of the school, classroom, dorms, gym, cafeteria, even the rose gardens. This place is our home and it will not be tolerated living in a mess! 3, no running in the halls. You could hurt someone or even hurt yourself. Running is only allowed for gym or emergency. 4, always respect and be kind to each other. We should all aim to help each other. And if you don't like someone, agree to disagree or compromise. 5, never let the house warden president mad. If you break one of the rules with a valid reason, your punishment will be light. If i smell deceive, your punishment will be swift and one to remember."

You both sat there for a minute of silences.

"w-well, thats how i ran things. we still had unbirthday parties, tea parties, etc. but overall those were the rules."

Riddle sat there staring, kinda like watching a wheel turning. he was about to respond to you before a knock was heard from the door.

"come in!"

Trey walked in with Cater following behind.

"we're hear with the repor- oh! sorry are we interrupting?"

"oooo~ what's happening here~? this seems very romantic."

Riddle's face turned red.

"what?!? its just a-"

"Riddle invited to talk about my years before NRC. I should be heading out anyway. I have to get some books in the library."

Riddle jumped up from his seat.

"if you need a book, i might have one here..?"

Trey and Cater stood to the side watching there Housewarden fumble at you.

"heh.. its alright. i asked the librarian to hold that book for me a few days ago. Thank you though. And thank you for the tea. Good bye."

You bowed your head as you walked out. Trey and Cater quickly turned to their friend, noticing how red he is..

"awww.. sorry for interrupting your little date house warden~"

"Hem-! Cater, i expect the roses in the hallways to be all clean and have fresh water before curfew.."

"a...ah... okay."

Trey holds in a laugh.

~~~

The next coming days, Riddle watches you help the other Heartslaybul students, in there tasks or school work. The students started to call you their Rose mom. Sweet and gentle but will show thorns if underestimated.

He has watched you tell a student to go finished their assignment for a class their falling behind and let you finished their cleaning task.

He also watched you help Ace, Deuce, Prefect, and Grim with an assignment with Crewel.

He watched you help Trey in the kitchen and watched you help Cater set the table for an unbirthday party.

With everything you do that made his heart flutter, you do something that made him wish that you would help him, mainly stay by his side.

A dark part of him wanted to keep you to himself and personally train you to stay by his side. That sweet attitude of yours should be his and his alone.

He'll make you his prefect rose. if he shaped you just right, his mother might accept you as a daughter-in-law. With you by his side, he could do anything.

So just wait a little longer, he'll get everything ready for you~

~~~

[baldval]

ART DECO PART 2!₊˚⊹♡

characters: valentino x gn!reader

wc: 1.7k

warnings: cursing, canon!valentino (he doesn't mind vox's bad actions towards other people), insanely angsty.

series masterlist!

You're half awake and disorientated. Valentino got up to find out who was at the door 10 minutes ago, and frankly, you're getting worried.

Against your better judgement, you throw on his shirt from the night before and make your way out of the bedroom.

You enter the living room to be met face to face with Vox.

Shit.

You briefly wonder if you can play it off, fabricate a story, tell him it's not what it looks like!

Apart from, it's exactly what it looks like.

Someone from Vox's assistance team saw you and Val enter his room together after the meeting. And now you're here, in his living room, wearing nothing but his shirt. And your shoes are by the front door. And there's a wine glass abandoned on the counter.

There's no getting out of this one.

Valentino wants to scream, yell at you to go back to his room. He wants to pick you up and throw you out of sight, praying Vox hasn't noticed all the tell tale signs. But it's too late. He has.

"Okay. Uh - what the fuck is going on?"

Vox asks the question while looking between the two of you like some sort of cartoon character doing a double take. It doesn't require a genius to figure it out, but he needs to hear one of you say it out loud.

"Listen, Vox-"

"Vox, don't get mad-"

You both speak at the same time, verbally tripping over each other. You've never actually discussed what you'd do or say if you got found out. You both just always naively assumed it wouldn't happen.

You sit down on the edge of the couch, and look at your boss earnestly.

You had earned his respect with all the years you'd been working for him, creating and animating shows for the Vees.

However, you knew it could all disappear.

It would be a lie to say you didn't see it coming, what was true is that you weren't ready for it.

"Vox, I'm not going to sit here and lie to you. It isn't fair. But you can't get mad when I tell you the truth."

"I'll be the judge of that," he mutters sassily.

"Will you come and sit with me, please? The standing is making me nervous. I feel like I'm on trial."

"You might be. I haven't decided yet."

You can't tell if he's joking. He's certainly not smiling.

Vox moves to sit down next you. Val follows, perching himself on the opposite end to give you space. Close enough if you need him, far enough that it won't upset your boss more.

"Start talking," he commands, still confused.

"It's... well I - we - me and Valentino, we're -"

"Together," Val finishes for you. Vox glares at him, and he decides he'll keep his mouth shut for a while.

"Yeah, we're together," you continue. "We have been for over a year. It isn't just sex, or anything. I'm like- in love with him."

It's weird to finally bear this truth after keeping it a secret for so long. It feels wrong, but also refreshing - like a bitter lemon on a hot day.

Vox is scarily silent.

"You're... kidding, right?" he asks, finally breaking through the quiet.

Your silence is enough answer for you as he looks at you incredulously.

"You're so fuckin' naive." He turns over to Valentino. "How can you sit here and act like this doesn't change anything?"

Val tries to speak, but he continues.

"You lied to me, first off. Both of you. For God knows how long-"

"Vox-"

"Let me fucking finish."

You shrink back into the couch, hoping it would swallow you.

"You both lied to me. You broke my trust... and uh, that fucking hurts, actually. And then there's the business side of things. They work for me, they work for the Vees. And, I don't know if you remember, but you are a Vee. That's a conflict of interest."

Val scoffs at him, but then realises he's deadly serious.

"... A conflict of interest?"

"It's against company policy. How am I going to trust you? How is anyone? Information might get leaked. What if I tell you something, and then you tell them?" He points over to you. "And then they tell whoever friends they have, and they post about it on social media, and all of a sudden nothing is private anymore. I. Can't. Trust. You."

Tears are welling up in your eyes quicker than you can control. You're trying to take deep breaths, begging yourself not to cry in front of Vox.

"You do get this is my life right? I get to choose whoever I date," Val whispers.

"Yeah? Well, it's my life. And they're MY worker. And I get to choose whatever I'll do to them."

A choked sob escapes you, and the floodgates open. Fresh, hot tears sprint down your cheeks, landing in your lap.

Vox doesn't care about your suffering, he just wants to punish Valentino through you.

Val can't stand to sit and watch any longer.

"Okay, Vox, that's enough. This isn't fair."

"What's not fair is that two of people I trust the most both lying to my face for a year. That's what isn't fucking fair."

With that, Vox stands up and strides towards the front door, slamming it behind him as he leaves. The minute he's gone, Valentino is wrapping his arms around you, pulling you into his chest.

"It's okay, darling," he murmurs, stroking your hair. "He'll come around. We'll be okay. If we stick together, we'll be okay."

His reassurances are only making you cry harder, sobs escaping you uncontrollably. You eventually exhaust yourself, falling into a restless sleep in Val's arms on the couch.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

You wake up in bed. You've temporarily forgotten the events of the morning, before it all comes crashing back down around you suddenly. Distantly, you can hear Valentino in the kitchen, talking on the phone. You look around the room, and know what you have to do.

You leave the bedroom with a bag in hand, throwing it onto the ground as you grab your shoes. Val clocks you, and hangs up the phone.

"Can I call you back? Thanks. I'll see you tomorrow."

He runs over to where you're slipping your heels on, precariously balanced against the side of the couch.

"Honey, where are you going?" he questions, panic washing over him at your frantic state. "Wait, have you packed a bag?"

He's trying to catch your eyes, but you keep looking away, desperate to avoid his unrelenting gaze.

"I'm going home."

A pause.

"... This is your home."

You knew he'd say that. It hurts just the same.

"No, Valentino, this is your home. My apartment is across town."

"You haven't been there in months. All your stuff is here. Baby, talk to me. What's going on? Did Vox get in your head?"

"He has a point!" you shout, trying to pick up your bag. Val gets there first and grabs it, flinging it behind him, out of your reach.

"About what? He's just in shock, baby! He's confused and he feels betrayed. You don't owe him fuckin' anything. Not after everything that he has put you through."

"But I love my job, Val. I can't lose everything I've worked so hard to achieve!"

"You love that piece of shit job? Yesterday you literally had to get up at 6 am just to get here and get yelled at for an hour and a half. Look- I love Vox but he's not a good boss. Hell! I don't even care about that, I just can't stand to see him abuse you and treat you like you're close to nothing. You're better off without him and you know it. You're just too attatched to what you have."

Subconsciously, you know he's right. You're trying to convince yourself he isn't.

"You don't get it though."

"Except I do. Do you think I don't know about Vox's methods? I understand that it's what he needs to do to get the job done, but... I just can't stand him treating you like that."

"You heard what he said! He won't trust you anymore. No one will. Besides, I know it's shitty, but my job is important to me. I can't be forgotten. Known only as an old failed artist."

"Trust me, honey, you're the least likely to be named a failure."

"That's not the point! You're not listening to me. I come from the bottom, I've had to fight for respect every fucking day of my life. I'm finally where I deserve to be. I can't throw it all away for... for love!"

Valentino flinches like you've punched him in the gut. He takes a step back and leans against the kitchen island, trying to keep his balance.

"What happened to 'you and me against the world', huh?" he murmurs.

"I think I got too wrapped up in this - in us. I was stupid to think it could work. We both were."

"I wasn't," he replies defiantly. "I knew exactly what I was getting into. I knew it would be really fucking difficult and I loved you anyway."

"I'm not sorry for loving you," you whisper. "I'm sorry for a lot of things, but never for loving you."

"If you meant that, you wouldn't be giving up."

You turn your head around, unable to look at him any longer.

"This isn't giving up. This is... quitting while we're ahead. If we keep going, we'll just end up having a huge, horrible, public breakup," you stop, and take a deep breath. "I think we were always doomed to fail."

Valentino thinks about the diamond ring that sits in a box in the top drawer of his nightstand. Doomed to fail.

You finally look up at him, and all the air leaves your lungs. You've never seen him look so defeated, so vulnerable. You're the cause of this. And you hate yourself for it.

You pad across the kitchen and pick up your bag from where he threw it, before stopping in front of him.

"I don't regret you, Valentino. I never will."

With that, you stride out of the front door, closing it gently behind you. Val is left, cold and empty, in a room that no longer feels like home.

[melancholysway]

TMNT Imagines: Guide to Being their S/O!

Pretty lengthy, but for each version of the guys I'm giving a guide to being their s/o! if you guys haven't noticed, I'm not the best at writing for Mikey, I literally see him as a younger brother, not someone i would have a romantic interest in if that makes sense.

TMNT 2003

Leonardo

Okay yall

Please give him some time.

He's so hardworking and spiritually driven, that he's always getting caught up working on himself that he may lose track of time

It's not intentional at all, and he doesn't mean it, it's just that he's so determined to be the perfect leader that he has tunnel vision.

When he's not doing this, he's almost always with you, getting in tune with you, understanding your mindset. He's patient.

He's patient with you. If you don't want to tell him something or if something's bothering you in your life, he'll wait until you're ready. He doesn't pry, he knows that some require more patience than others.

meditate with him! He's very spiritual, and it's important that he continuously keeps up with the traditions his father taught him and grew up doing. He would really appreciate that you're participating in something he's passionate about.

Going back to him losing track of time and getting caught up in being perfect, TELL him he needs a break. He may not want to hear that, but you can tell he's in need of one. Try and get him to do something else that's less physically demanding, something to get his mind off of trying to be perfect

Cook for him! Yes, it's a universal rule that Leonardo cannot cook, and it's one less thing he can be great at, so, make something for him! He usually relies on Mikey to cook anyway, so he'd very much appreciate it if you cooked for him!

Be his eyes and ears. I feel as though 2003 Leo would love a s/o who's very in tune with themselves and has an open third eye. You may be able to see the things he misses (this is metaphoric btw) or hear things he may miss- become self-aware, become one with the world and nature, and your aura is something he'll love about you the most.

Raphael

Honestly, don't piss him off. He's already furious about the world around him.

If you're his s/o, you obviously haven't pissed him off, so, good job! You've also gotten close enough to where you cause him to actually have romantic feelings. Woohoo!

So, you wanna date 2003 Raph?

First off, don't mess with his family. Treat all his brothers with respect as they do you. Joke with them, spend time with them, and genuinely provide a great friendship for them. Raphael would not date anyone who he thought would hurt the family dynamic.

Do not be the mediator nor the instigator between him and Leo. it's simply sibling rivalry, and if it does get to a point where they physically fight, leave them. It may sound bad, but it's better for them to let it out than hold it all in just for it to blow out of proportion. Most of the time, they just have the steam to let out on each other.

Let Raphael know everything. Everything means the people in your life. He wants to know which guys are strictly friends, which ones you're hanging with, etc. He gets slightly insecure at the idea of you hanging out with other regular guys like yourself, but as long as you assure him that he's yours, he'll be fine.

Have him be your savior. It's not a burden to him at all, he WANTS to be your one and only protector! if you're walking alone and sense someone following you, call Raph. He'll be there in a heartbeat.

Be the one to bring him back to reality. He may let his anger get the best of him (this is very rare- like I've said before he's usually laid back, but he has his moments.) Calm him down, tell him to just yell it out and speak to you to better get his anger out instead of taking it out on innocent inanimate objects. He'll find he goes to you more when upset or mad about something, not the dojo (although this will take time.)

Be patient with Raph, he's new to this boyfriend thing, so let him know when you don't like something that he does, do NOT let it bottle up or keep your mouth shut, he WILL notice!

Donatello

Alright 2003 Donnie lovers!

Just to say, unless you really really, REALLY do something that would fuck up Donnie's head (ie; cheating) he will not yell at you. He's a pacifist. He doesn't yell, he doesn't scream. He won't lay a finger on you. NOT saying that the other turtles would, they absolutely wouldn't do that. But Donnie, it's impossible for him to.

It's not in his nature to be mean or violent. He's not like that. He will treat you like the god/goddess you are as long as you let him.

Dating Donnie is honestly fairly easy and can be very rewarding for both of you. He's smart, he can help you with just about anything. As long as you give him the time of day, he will.

He honestly thought he would never experience a romantic relationship, so he often wonders if it's actually happening.

Yes, Donnie, it is.

He also will seek advice or for your thoughts on something he's doing- if he knows you'll tell him something in his best interest, he'll always come running to you for some wise words.

He usually becomes obsessed over inventions or projects until they're finished, so, like Leo, he gets tunnel vision. Try and get him to take breaks, don't completely forget to check up on him, please do! If you're his s/o, he'd really love it if you gave your opinion on things he's making. Raph is usually the first to compliment his inventions, so try and beat Raph to the metaphorical punch!

Dating 2003 Donatello is summed up in one word known for pacifism: peaceful.

Michaelangelo

Mikey with an equally as chaotic s/o will equal absolute mayhem.

When you start dating 2003 Mikey, he'll persuade you to get in on some pranks around the lair. Do participate, especially if it's Raph. He's always smacking Mikey anyway LMAO so it's understandable why you'd prank him too.

When he wins the Battle Nexus Champion, he won't shutup about it. Not that you mind it at all, but listen to him bask in his awesomeness! His brothers are tired of hearing about how much better he is than them because he's the B.N champion, anyway.

He's decent at making dinner food but really good at making breakfast food. Come down and cook with him, show him some things he may not know yet, or different ways to cook food. Get him on the poached egg wave instead of scrambled. It'll piss Raph off, but hey, a poached egg is hard as fuck to make for some. Mikey would love it if you show him some new techniques to enhance the enjoyment of his hobbies!

TMNT 2007

Leonardo

Okay, if you're dating Leo before going to Central America, he will be absolutely torn before he leaves. He isn't sure if he should suggest a break while he's gone so you won't be hung up waiting for him, so he'll be struggling with this internally.

But, please tell him that you'll wait for him. If he suggests a break for your benefit, shoot it down instantly. 2007 Leonardo will always put your feelings before his own, but please let him know that his feelings matter just as much as yours. He doesn't have to be selfless in your relationship 24/7. He's not leading anything or carrying a burden, he's just dating you.

I'm torn between whether or not Leo would ever be upset at you, he has a lot of patience. You'd probably have to be ignoring him or bottling up your feelings for him to be upset. Always be direct with him and say what's on your mind. Because he will definitely tell you.

"Now, you and me both know I'm not a mind reader, love."

Don't make Leo's life more stressful than it already is. He's constantly fighting for his and his family's safety, all while carrying the weight of being the leader on his shoulders. Just, be there for him. Be his therapist in a way, hear him out, and listen to the trials and tribulations of being the leader in blue. He'll love you way more if you do this.

Raphael

This Raph is actually the most laid-back, he will literally stay in his own lane.

But, when you pique his interest, he will try everything he can to make you happy once you get into a relationship.

He tries, he really, really, tries. He knows he can't take you anywhere fancy, so he has alternatives. Hope you don't mind a bike ride! He'll do that often. Or, he'll (beg) I mean...ask Donnie for the shellraiser so you guys can take a fun road trip.

He's also VERY overprotective in this version, if you start dating him while he's the Nightwatcher, expect him to always check up on you while he's on patrol alone.

He appreciates little things about you- so, refrain from trying to impress him. You dating him is impressive enough. If you have a job, he would love to hear about it, he likes the fact that you have something going for yourself.

He definitely loves a confident s/o, but if you're slightly insecure or still finding your self-confidence like Donnie, Raph will be there to remind you every time that everything about you is amazing.

When you're dating him during that whole Winter's era and Leonardo getting taken, he'll need you. Please, take him in with open arms. He'll probably break down in front of you, so please, do not think of him as weak, he'll never open up to you again if you think this. Let him know that you'll be there to listen.

"You're not weak at all, everyone has emotions. Thank you for trusting me enough to see you like this. I don't think of you any less."

He'll appreciate that.

P.S- I actually have a fanfic devoted to 2007!Raph, if you're interested, it's called Serendipity! I'd appreciate it if you would check it out.

Donatello

Okay, guys!

This Donnie is definitely the more chill ones- I swear!

So, if you’re dating Donnie during Leo’s absence, please check up on him. He’s taken the unofficial leader role while he’s gone, trying to keep his other two brothers in line as much as he can.

If you’re with him after the whole Winter’s thing, still check up on him! He’s not doing that terrible I.T job anymore, but still, he’d love it if you came in unannounced like you used to when he did have the job.

2007 Donnie will be in absolute love with you- that being said, do not shy away from showing him love! Shower him in kisses, hugs, anything! It’s a constant reminder that you’re actually his. That after all this crazy shit that went down, he has someone to look forward to seeing and holding.

He’s not as obsessed as he used to be with making inventions- he’s actually getting better at managing his diet and has even a little experience making food! So, he has more time to spare, and a lot of the times he’ll spend it with you.

He loves to read! I think you should buy him a few new books he’s been talking about wanting to read but being unable to find them online.

If he comes over to your place (which is very often) he may suggest a documentary about a serial killer or the life cycle of mammals. It honestly depends, but he has a wide spread interest in a number of things, so you’ll never be stuck with something. He especially likes analyzing interrogations with those channels on YouTube, so be ready to hear about it!

Donnie is very lovable, he’s also pretty easy to talk to. He understands that some people can’t comprehend what he says at times based on his vocabulary, (he doesn’t dumb it down for you per se) but he explains things more in depth so you don’t not understand what he’s saying.

2007 Donnie is truly someone you can spend all your free time with and never be bored!

Michaelangelo

Being a kid's party host is not the best thing in the world- and Mikey knows this firsthand. If he's dating you, patch him up after getting beat up by little kids! It's better than getting scolded by Donnie. Plus, Mikey thinks you're much more gentle than he is.

He's older in this installment, so he isn't as hyper. He still has energy, but not as high as the other versions of him. He'd much rather have a s/o that he can lay back and watch TV with.

I have a headcanon that 2007!Mikey has a spending problem, so expect him to spend his job money on you at times. He'll buy you cute things, once he gets your shirt size and pant size it's over.

I also think Mikey would love a girly girl and tomboy mix, he'll love that you can switch up your clothes and energy so easily!

He's very loving, so reciprocate that back. He would enjoy it if he could use your lap as a pillow so he could get ample rest.

TMNT 2012

Leonardo

2012 Leo might be my fave- he’s the cutest bro fr

That being said, please treat 2012 Leo with the upmost respect in the relationship. 2012 Leo would most likely date someone that has similar views and admirations as him. This comes into the relationship as well, he knows the power of holding a grudge and how it can truly break someone.

So, if you guys ever do get in a disagreement or argue, he’ll always make sure it ends with both of you coming to terms with each other. He always makes it to where you won’t go to sleep knowing the argument didnt end well. No matter what, Leo is always making sure you and him are good. Whatever issues you may have or things you want to discuss, let him know instantly. Point out something he may do that you don’t enjoy or like- do not hold a grudge against him. He will never do the same to you.

It takes him awhile to trust because of Karai- she truly put up a front in the beginning- so please always tell him the truth- it would hurt him if he found out what you may have said was a lie.

Cuddle with him- he wants something to hold. Sit on his lap while he’s watching Space Heroes, have him teach you how to use a weapon, anything that involves touching you or being near you, he’s down.

This Leo also really likes traditional Japanese meals- knowing he can’t cook, get him something that’s impossible to fucking break bro

A rice cooker!

Since lots of Japanese meals have white rice, get him that! I know FOR SURE Leo sucks at making rice if the man can’t toast some bread. Show him how to use it, you literally press one button, and it has a timer based on the weight of the rice you place in it. It’s really, REALLY hard to fuck up, so it’s a great fit for him! He would love it if you got him something that at the very least makes him think he’s cooking.

Raphael

2012 Raph has shown time and time again that he's the caring type. It's actually canon that he has ADHD, so good on the writers for shedding light on what ADHD can look like!

He's very unpredictable and emotionally erratic. That being said, he may not be the same person when you talk to him the next day. As in, his emotions change, all the time. They may even change about you, because, he's unsure if it's real or not.

Let him know always that you're his, in fact, all versions of Raphael need this constant reassurance.

Once Spike became Slash and part of the Mighty Mutanimals, he doesn't have anyone to confide in. Part of the reason he confided in Spike was that he would always listen, and wouldn't talk back.

So, be his Spike.

Let him talk your ear off on whatever he's feeling, whether it be about his brothers or you.

Yes, even you.

If something's really bothering him, do not let it escalate to an argument. Rather, let Raph get everything he has to say out in one big rant, and then you proceed. Vice versa as well, Raph respects your opinion because you respect his.

"Your feelings matter to me, Raph- I love you because you're vulnerable in front of me."

He'll love that. That you recognize his vulnerability and his absence of toxic masculinity beliefs that most men harbor.

Be kind to Chompy Picasso. Don't be a dick. Pet him, feed him while Raph's on patrol, and babysit him! He'd love that you watch over the things he really cares about.

When you both are dating, let him teach you a thing or two. He'd especially love it if you were able to learn how to use his sai.

He's sarcastic, DO NOT take anything he says to heart. He's a jokester, seriously. He has the best one-liners for any situation fr fr

A lot of the time, he uses his sarcasm or one-liners to lighten up a situation!

Donatello

2012 Donnie is super sensitive. He's kind-hearted. So, once he (finally) gets over April, he'll (finally) see your feelings for him.

When you do both start dating, he's torn on whether you'll ditch him for another guy. He was so invested in April, that he's scared to actually love someone.

So please, kiss him whenever he thinks this. You can tell on his face when he thinks like this. Donatello wears his heart on his sleeve, people can tell when he truly cares for them and loves them.

It's not hard to read Donnie.

Unlike with April, he isn't some nervous shy schoolgirl, it may be because he's 100% sure you like him because you're dating, but he isn't chasing you like a cat to a mouse. He's got you. You're his.

Donnie doesn't expect compliments, but he'll always try and compliment you. He starts off oddly because he isn't sure what to compliment you about without sounding weird.

"I...I really like the way your smile...accentuates your facial features."

It may sound stupid on his end, but it comes from a good place!

"Wow...thank you, Donnie! That's so sweet of you to say!"

Respond like this; like I said, Donnie is sensitive! If he genuinely means something, take it in! He's trying, and that's what matters. He's already out of his comfort zone by straight up telling you what he likes about you.

Compliment him! Out of the blue, when he least expects it. If he's just working on the shell raiser and he's covered in oil, take this opportunity.

"You know what I love about you? Your work ethic, combined with your good looks, and you're perfect, Don."

He'll be over the moon, guaranteed. He'll stumble over his words after this trying to come up with the words "thank you," it'll be comical to watch!

Michaelangelo

2012 Mikey is very sweet- he wants to be loved.

He's used to people not liking him based on his appearance, so when he finds out you like him and you eventually start dating, he's honestly shocked.

He confides in Raph a lot of the time about you.

"What should I get Y/n dude?!?! I need help!!"

You'll be closest to Raphael if you're dating Mikey, he wants to make sure you're taking care of his little brother, and he even helps you how to handle the orange-clad jokester.

Raph may bonk Mikey on the head every time he opens his mouth, but he truly cares about him yall.

His love other than you is Ice Cream Kitty- always be nice to Ice Cream Kitty. Like Raph, Mikey really loves animals. Don't be a dick to Ice Cream Kitty.

Spending time with IC Kitty will cause Mikey to love you even more, as you're showing him that you're taking part in one of his interests and caring for his little kitty!

BAYVERSE TMNT

Leonardo

He's undeniably all for you. Like Raph, he is all about you!

That being said, please appreciate all of what Leonardo has to offer. He doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve like 2012 Donnie, but he lets you know how much he cares for you.

He's very family-oriented, so he would really enjoy all the time you spent in the lair with him and his family. Of course, he likes time alone with you, but to see you interact positively with his family- it's everything to him.

All Leos stop at nothing to become perfect- he's constantly trying to be Mr. Perfect. He may beat himself down over little things, but please, always let him know early on in the relationship that it's okay to be imperfect.

"Ah...I forgot that you're allergic...I'm sorry, Y/n."

"Leo, it's okay! I love that you tried, really; we can't remember everything."

Watch how you talk to him and your mannerisms. Leonardo deals with Raphael on a day-to-day basis- he can read body language like a pro. He can sense when your tone is off from its normal state, and he will ask you about it. Don't beat around the bush, always tell him what's on your mind- unlike other versions of Leo, Bayverse Leo may pry a little or ask you about it head-on.

He's also very cautious, so, he may be uneasy about doing impulsive things together. He likes to plan stuff out, so, do the planning for him sometimes! Plan a date in your apartment, have dinner on the rooftop, and watch a shitty rom-com that both of you would fall asleep cuddling each other to!

Raphael

Bayverse Raph is one big teddy bear, we all know this! But, he's afraid.

He's afraid of being alone. As much as he may take time to himself, train by himself, knit by himself, the thought of not having anybody worries him.

When the chance to be human arises, he takes it. He lies to April and Casey to get the ooze because, he wants to be seen in public with you. That's the main reason why. He wants everyone to know he's yours and you're his.

When you find out about his attempt to be human after all of this, please reassure him.

"I'm with you for you, Red. Mutant and all. Now come here,"

He's constantly wondering if he's good enough for you. Would you get bored? He needs to be reassured often. Don't take it as he doesn't trust you, it's just that, he's a mutant.

Be interested in one of his hobbies! If you find yourself in a Michaels or other crafting store, get a starter knitting kit for yourself as well as some other balls of yarn for Raph, he'd love you for that.

He appears tough around you, but you can read him. He would probably date someone who can tell when he's not doing well on the inside.

Let him know that he doesn't have to be tough in front of you 24/7, and that it's okay to show you how he truly feels.

He becomes soft when it comes to physical touch- it's his love language. He'll kiss you on your head or forehead, ruffle your hair, anything. He also really loves your hands, so more often than not he'll want to hold it.

You better let that man hold your fuckin hand or else-

sorry! anyway, dating bayverse Raph is enticing! Expect handmade gifts and lots of touching. He also gives the best hugs!

Donatello

Okay, this Donnie is seriously nerdy!

Less sensitive than 2012 Donnie, but still pretty techy and has a wide vocabulary.

He would love a s/o who is cool, calm, and collected. This Donnie isn't as chaotic as his counterparts, but he may have his moments while working in his lab.

He barely gets sleep. That being said, please try and get this turtle to bed. Try and bribe him, he honestly can't say no to you once you both start dating.

"Don, if you drop that invention you've been working on for the past 24 hours, I'll give you the best cuddles and massage known to man."

He's torn between the two choices, but he ultimately picks you! He cannot say no with the aching of his muscles bothering him. He would also love to have you in his arms!

This being said, he loves you being around! He might not say much all the time, since he talks way less than the other incarnations of him, but he enjoys your company, really. Just sitting there with him and watching him work, he loves it.

Going back to his nerdiness, don't be shy and send him things that might pique his interest. He loves that you know just exactly what he likes, any new podcasts about the latest scientific theories or conspiracy theories! Let him have it all! He'll get that notification from you and immediately change his music to the podcast or video while he works.

"Love, thank you so much. I'd love it if you came over and listened to it with me, *eyebrows eyebrows*"

He also texts like this LMAO

But yes, dating Bayverse Donnie is very calm- he's laid-back like 2007 Raph, but has his panicking moments like on patrol or a mission.

If you also wear glasses, he'll be so happy. He's dating someone who has the same issue he has, this lack of eyesight.

"Hey, four-eyes,"

"Says you, lovey!"

It's cute. You guys poke small fun at each other, with irony looming over each minor joke. It'll either end up in a playfight or a laughing fit between the two of you.

Michaelangelo

Aight yall- this Mikey is an attention whore, he wants all of your attention! Give it to him! It could be little things, he may find a funny meme or something on his shell-cell, or he wants to show you a new move on his board. Either way, give him your undivided attention.

it's obvious that Mikey is hurt by how humans view him and his brothers, so when you present to him that you view him in a romantic way and you both start dating, he's happy.

Happy because someone in this world likes him for who he is, he doesn't need no purple ooze to turn him human. Genuine people exist, and you're dating him to remind him about this constantly.

He tries to find what your sense of humor is and will adapt his jokes so they suit your taste. It's a weird headcanon I have LMAO but Mikey definitely has set jokes based on someone's sense of humor, especially his s/o's!

RISE!TMNT

Leonardo

This Leo would rather sit and lounge with you than anything else. Honestly, just having you in his presence is enough for him. He actually...is pretty lazy!

Counteracting his Bayverse persona, this Rise!Leo is spontaneous as fuck. So, it really depends on the day for him whether he's thinking about spending the day doing nothing & being lazy with you or doing everything he could possibly think of with you.

He's usually upbeat and would like it if you matched his energy. He knows- some days are bad days, so he'll try his best and lift your spirits.

He's also...pretty competitive? Doesn't care who you is, he's beating you in whatever game ya'll are playing. You're no longer his s/o, you're his opponent. Don't play Uno with him.

Play leisure games, like mancala or go-fish together, he's less competitive in these since the stakes are way lower. Will bet on the cuddle position you guys do over a game

"If I win, I get to be the little spoon this time,"

He's also confident- so, he doesn't really think about you leaving him for someone else. He thinks it would be your loss if you ever did.

Really, REALLY enjoys making out with you. He'd pretty much clear a slot in his day just to have a makeout session. That being said, he's a jokester, so expect some jokes during the session.

"Oh, my goodness, how lovely your lips feel on mine,"

Will joke as his lips are on yours, doesn't even let up for air or to speak, just speaks in your lips.

Kiss him on the cheek sometimes, will you? It gets him all giddy!

Raphael

Raphael is sweet as pie- don't do anything to hurt him.

He's not one to hurt your feelings, so don't hurt his!

He's also very, very massive! That being said, he really would enjoy giving you a piggyback ride every now and again.

Because he's so big, he's very gentle with you, he thinks one of these days he's gonna hurt you, so he'll need some reassurance.

"I trust you enough that you know your strength, Big Red."

He comes to like nicknames as well. He'll probably call you "Cutie Pie" almost always!

Surprise him with something he can take care of. It's obvious Raph is an animal lover, get him something he can care for! Like a gerbil or hamster, they'll easily fall in love with him, too.

Raph is big on affection, he'll dedicate time just for loving you. He's a great lover, he makes sure you're straight always and you're both on the right page. He never will raise his voice at you, like 2003 Donnie, it's just not in his nature to yell at his s/o. That being said, do the same, and do not yell at him. It'll hurt him more than it hurts you.

Donatello

Rise!Donnie is...interesting. He doesn't really enjoy physical touch. So, limit the hugs. He's also known not to cry, either.

Dating him might seem difficult, but once you get used to his chaotic ass, it's simple.

Unless he initiates a physical touch first, try and limit that. He constantly has to be doing something, as he's restless. So, if you try and hold his hand, interlock your fingers with his and swing your arm back and forth, so he's not so constrained. It'll be moving, and that's what he likes.

Speaking of his likes!

He enjoys lyrics, a lot.

So, if you tell him something, like a special day or occasion, he'll remember it in song.

" ♪The day of your birth is the absolutely positively day of the fourth~♪"

or, something like this, if he's taking you home but you think he'll forget the directions. He'll sing the song.

 " ♪Take 5th street then up 10 blocks, down the ave and pass the cops♪"

Yeah, like that.

If he does kiss you, (unless he's really into it at the moment) it's always a quick kiss. He's getting used to showing his love with physical touches since it's something he's not really into. But, seeing how much you appreciate him and his little quirks like that, he's willing to try.

Rely on Donnie! Yes, it may go terribly wrong, but who cares! If you need something fixed, call him! It may come out the complete opposite way you expected it to, but it allows him to do something for you that you'll appreciate. He wants you to see his efforts! He's trying, seriously.

Also, praise him! It's not a kink or anything, but Donnie really loves being praised for something. It may be an ego thing, but he would especially love it if his s/o praised him!

"You made that? You're so smart, Donnie!"

He'll love to hear that from you.

Michaelangelo

Okay, with this Mikey, it's always something!

He's very playful, so be ready to playfight, always! He'll try and John Cena you or something. He enjoys all kinds of hobbies, so he would love that you join him in the fun.

He's very intuitive, and he's all about being vulnerable with each other. He lays his heart out, and is an open book emotionally. He doesn''t leave things left unsaid, he WILL say what has to be said.

If you're more to harboring emotions and not showing them, he'll encourage you to tell him how you're feeling. He'll want to be the one you go to when you want to talk.

He wants you to be the best you can be! So, he's encouraging. He doesn't want you to give up, at all.

He wants you to be the best version of yourself with him, as his s/o, you shouldn't hold back.

Masterlist

[bloop-bl00p]

Rewriting the Hollow Knight of Hazbin Hotel

So, am I the only one who finds it weird that Carmilla isn’t getting jumped by the higher class?

The girl has an arsenal of weapons that can kill Goetia’s members AND neutralize their powers. And she sells it at affordable prices? Stricker can buy those weapons for God’s sake! That’s how he kills Blue Bloods, shouldn't that ring a bell in the Royal Class?

It’s surprising that an uprising hasn't happened yet, some imps managed to build successful businesses (Bliztø, Crimson, Stricker, Barbie I guess?) imagine the disaster if one day they have enough of being treated as lesser and just happen to have enough money to arm a large population of imps.

I intended her to be Velvette's mother, but I changed my plan and turned her into my OC. One thing I don't like about Viv’s Hell is how small it looks. You're telling me that everyone either comes from somewhere in America or Europe, Nifty is the only Asian character, and Cherry Bomb is the only Australian but that’s not enough for me.

Add to that the fact that her POC characters are grey. Or that she simply doesn't add any features/accents that could help the audience guess which origin are her characters.

I know Velvette has an accent but that’s the only character who has one. They should have done more research to make everyone have a dialect at least as unique as Zestial.

Anyways, Carmilla is from South Africa. Don’t get mad at me, Viv’s Hell feels extremely small and I needed multiple POVs to diversify the backstory.

I want my Version of Hell to be a clash of multiple origins, musically speaking you can give the aggressive Spanish guitars to Vaga. Carmilla is associated with Kwela and Soul.

Nomsa Mbatha was born in 1959 and grew to be an impoverished black woman in South Africa during the apartheid, she eventually married gang members to survive.

The Gang was primarily focused on smuggling and economic activities and she participated as a new member when she got married. She partacked in smuggling weapons, drugs, and other contraband into prisons and served as well as an informant gathering intelligence from the outside world and relaying information to gang members in prison or on the streets. Nomsa also provided alibis. All of that is in exchange for protection and money to have a somewhat normal life.

She had her two daughters at 35, the two were twins. Nomsa interchanged between mother and Gang members and, unfortunately, had to bring the girls to do some of the dirty work.

The two girls died with their mother at 20 during a police raid. Nomsa was struck with guilt as she thought she was the reason Odette and Clara went to Hell with her.

In Hell, she renamed herself Induna and used her knowledge to start selling weapons, normal ones at first. Until she started commercializing Blessed Steels.

She didn’t get away with it, she was targeted by many Goetia members scared to lose their position of power since it’s the only thing that can kill them. It’s only through negotiation that she comes up with an arrangement with them with the help of Zestial who’s well-known and respected.

You need to be legally approved (A card to hold one in public) and only royal members have access to it Induna is the exception. The utilization is up to them once purchased.

The weapons are actually mostly harmless to The 72 Lesser Keys of Solomon. It’s the rest of the Goetia, their children who can be killed. The Seven Deadly Sins or The Other Fallen Angels are also safe.

Her employees usually seek the lost Angelic Weapons just right after extermination, they operate during the cleaning of roads and are trained to recognize blessed steel as they can't be noticed with metal detectors. They wear uniforms and it’s usually during these weapons harvesting that people follow them to steal from the company. It’s rare since her workers know how to fight but it happens and a small black market occurred from it, that’s where Stricker got his personal dagger. He also steals from the rich.

Details:

→ Nomsa speaks Zulu and Induna means leader of a group of warriors.

Nomsa means The Mother of Compassion and Mbatha can mean Protector. She’s a mother and the protector of her children.

→ The Twins work for their mother and she insists that they work indoors. One works to design the weapons, and the other tests them. Induna regularly trains them on how to fight and defend themselves.

→ Vaga worked for a few years with Induna and sees herself in her. She keeps her daughter safe the same way she tries to keep her brother out of danger.

My take on human Vaggie → here ←

Appearance:

Watch me fight my biggest enemies, front-facing, and side-profile. I feel like I messed up the head shape in the side profile.

Vivziepop when she learned it’s easy to moisturize and draw POC characters with actual features.

Anyway, I don’t really know what I want to do with her sinner's forms. I think I’m gonna make her a bear because Mommy Bear. I’ll keep the big paws as a way to say she has the weight of the people she killed on her hands. You could say…

“But she never killed anyone.”

Yes, but she still sold weapons that killed people later, willingly participating in a sin will get you to Hell.

That’s all for the rewrite.

[theloganator101]

The Great BNHA Review: Characters or Check Lists?

Oh Characters...

The bread and butter to all stories.

The thing that gets a story from Point A to Point B, the thing that allows us to connect with the story and helps it feel alive. You can pretty much make any character for your story, from the gentle and kindhearted to the more rough around the edges... to making them likable or unlikable. There are many ways to write a character and how they can make your story come to life.

And by bringing this up you know where this is headed... that BNHA utterly failed at expanding their characters into being people we're supposed to care about.

I could make a long fucking list of how BNHA failed every single one of it's characters it introduced but to keep that from happening, I'm just going to either list certain characters or just group them together since some of them share one common thing that's holding them back from being good.

Starting off with!

Shota Aizawa:

He was supposed to a hardass with a hidden heart of gold for his students, but what he ENDED up as was a walking hypocrite who hated Izuku for no other than he was associated with All Might and couldn't control his quirk... and then CONTINUED to give Izuku a hard time and labeled him as the "problem child" like... I don't even have the energy to get mad here, I'm saving THAT for another time in this review.

Oh and then there's him holding up this ridiculously high standard for his students to reach or else he fails them... which is exactly what happened when he failed Sero in the finals but allowed Bakugou to pass for doing the same.

Which again his hypocrisy gets in the way of that!

And not once does he ever get called out or punished for his blantant abuse in power and instead gets complimented and praised for his methods as if he's the next Einstein.

Fucking end me.

The Todoroki Family:

Oh how Hori totally fucked you guys over in the end... Natsu I'd give a pass since he ended on a more believable note, but sadly I can't say the same for Rei and Fuyumi.

As they were never allowed to think bad of the guy that made their lives hell and were instead to jump on the forgiveness train and take Endeavor's side so they can be a "Happy family" again. Which... no, that's literally stockholm syndrome.

Class 1-A:

... (Sighs)

Oh my babies... oh my favorites... look how that monster Hori ruined you all...

He tried to have this found family dynamic for them all, only for it all to fall apart since... you know, they barely interacted at all and got any screentime.

And it also didn't help that Hori had all of them as bystanders to Izuku's suffering, make fun of his interests, and follow Bakugou when he led them to beat him into coming back. So it really doesn't work when you have these things on your mind and fails to convince you that they give a shit about Izuku and his wellbeing.

And the worst part is that they ALL look like they have stories waiting to be told, but we don't get any of that. At most they're only used to fight against the minions while the Cash Cow Triplets fight the big hero.

Every Female Character in this Series:

Oh boy what even is there to talk about? Since they barely have any personality of their own and are only made to be fanservice for the pervs that likes watching anime girls in bikinis. They definitely deserves much better and to be in a story that'll treat them with respect and dignity.

ESPECIALLY to those like Hagakure and Miruko.

All Might:

Oh All Might, how the story did you dirty.

If there's anyone in this story that I feel sorry for the most (That isn't Izuku) It's All Might.

All because of how he started off at the beginning, people clung to the idea that he's a quirkest asshole who Izuku needs to steer clear from... even though he's literally the one to save Izuku from literally living in misery.

All Might deserves to be an actual mentor and father figure for Izuku, not fucking Aizawa who openly expressed his hatred for the boy.

The League of Villains:

I already made a post on how the narrative did them dirty and I don't feel like repeating myself, so I'm just gonna leave a link here while adding this.

What was even the point of building them up to be forgiven by their foils if they were just gonna die in the end? It was all just a big time waster.

And of course, we can't talk about characters and how the author failed them without talking about...

Izuku Midoriya:

Oh Izuku... the most tragic and wasted main character I've ever seen in an anime series.

He started off so strong only to get worse as the series went on. He should've been the shining definition of what a hero SHOULD be! He should've been the one to realize how fucked their world was and strive to change it for the better and to prevent others like him from suffering like he did.

But... we didn't get any of that.

We don't get acknowledgment of his past, we don't get him rising from his pain and become something more. Instead we get a watered down version of him at the beginning who has NO reaction or introspection to anything whatsoever, not to the world they live in, to the way things are handled, and even to him losing OFA.

For some odd fucking reason, Izuku is never allowed to grow out "I'm worthless" mindset or realization that everyone in his life has failed him in one way or another. He just praises it all like the fanboy he is and just stays where he is.

And then there's the fact that he just flat out refuses to ever acknowledge his past in any meaningful way, as whenever he DOES bring it up, he talks about his past self as if he's a different person from him. To which I can kinda see how this could be symbolic of something... But it just doesn't work as it only makes him look horrible for forgetting his roots and just wanting to fit in with the other people with quirks. To which it somewhat feels like "Fuck the quirkless they're useless so why even focus on them?"

He's a hollow version of the idea of his character, just blankly reacting to things in front of him and praising Bakugou for being the best thing to come around. He honestly deserves better and deserves to be with a writer that won't bully him and give him the depth and development he needs.

Now who else am I missing...?

...

Oh yeah!

Katsuki Bakugou is still trash.

Look forward to the next part.

(Roundabout starts playing)

[cloudmancy]

which is worse: d20 tumblr or d20 twitter?

this is such a funny question. frankly I prefer talking with my existing friends over discord over either of them but here's a breakdown of my experience with them

d20 tumblr

feels like a more isolating experience because of the way tumblr is set up in general as a platform. I follow relatively few people here, so all my interactions are from people engaging with my art (love you mwah) or asking me questions. nearly every time I go into a d20 related tag I regret it

I think frankly I disagree with 90% of the opinions on d20 here but because I don't have to see it I can just post my art and go

feels relatively static like there's not a good way to get everyone talking about a specific transformative fandom thing instead of only what's happening in canon because it's a looser more disconnected community

allows for longer posts and the search system on my own blog is great though. I love directing people to go through my tags or archived art

d20 twitter

incredibly, astonishingly, bad at recognizing jokes for people who are fans of a comedy show

way easier to interact with people which means most of the friends I make are from d20twt...

very easy to get everyone talking about one specific thing (ie fhsonas) because of how interactive Twitter is as a platform and how quickly word spreads

downside of this^ is that every time I express an opinion someone disagrees with they tend to assume that this is a majority opinion rather than like, 3-4 popular gay asian artists speaking their mind? when I complained about fhjy 18 battle on here I got interesting and thoughtful reblogs and everyone kept it respectful meanwhile on twitter people started making vaguetweets about how people who hated the episode were morons. stuff like us joking that oisin's grandma's whole mahjong group got murked getting 200 likes VS people directly shitting on us getting 1.7k likes and people going "wait... people are mad about oisins grandma for REAL?! she was going to kill people !!" getting 2k likes. clearly there is some sort of strange authority people put on your words whether or not you're actually just trying to have fun with your friends

I did talk about this more on twitter but I am not a fan of the CRitterfication of d20twt either. feels like much of the fandom is now watching because they're megafans of the cast rather than for the story which leads to some really big toxic positivity bias and the implication that criticism of the show == direct attack on the crew and therefore on THEM because parasocial attachment. I don't think it helps that for a majority of them d20 is their first big fandom experience aside from like... kpop or tswift because they have not developed a lot of the detachment from canon + not being parasocial + ignoring opinions you don't like if they're not directly addressed at you mechanisms that people who've been around have. sorry I'm not trying to fandom elder or whatever here I'm 21 years old but I think it's incredibly hard for me to interact with people whose entire understanding of canon depend on siobhan thompson's opinions like this

tldr;

d20twt has way less reading comprehension and critical thinking skills. better for making friends. I interact almost entirely with 30-40 of my artist friends. (my) d20tumblr experience is more chill and feels like I'm doing a seminar and people come up to ask me questions afterward. more isolating but easier to do my own thing. I do recognize and am fond of a lot of you but I've made one (1) entire friend who I can talk to off platform and not just see on the dash/my notes and that's just the nature of how tumblr works as a platform (it's terrible for conversations)

[platonically-loving-alastor]

Aroace Alastor

Hoo boy here we go- This one might make some people mad at me, so I'll preface by saying I do not want to start a fight and as long as you respect my business, I'll respect yours. But let's get this over with-

First off, I genuinely don't understand how some people can see the Ace-In-The-Hole quote and still believe that Alastor is only intended to be asexual and not also aromantic. Yes, the term Rosie used for purpose of the pun was 'ace', but can we look at the context of that moment before jumping to conclusions?

Rosie, motioning to Charlie: "Oh, who's this you brought with you? Come now, Alastor, she's much too young for you! Oh, I'm just kidding. I know you're an ace in the hole!"

Her original statement implies nothing sexual, only that he's involved in a relationship with Charlie, and she follows it up with why she knows that couldn't be because he's an 'ace in the hole'. I don't think you have to read too far between the lines to see that.

I would also like to say that when Vivienne has spoken about his orientation before, I recall her saying that she didn't want to confirm him being aromantic so that she wouldn't 'ruin anyone's fun', which I just feel like is an odd thing to say if she wasn't already explicitly picturing him as aroace. If she thought he had romantic attraction, why wouldn't she just say that? What fun would that ruin? I also feel like keeping things like this ambiguous just to appease the shippers is a little weird, but I digress-

And to those of you who I know are saying "But aromantic people can be in relationships too!!" *deep inhale* yeah I know. I'm not gonna pretend you're not right about that, but there are also aroace people who have exactly 0 interest in romance or sex at all. This is the part of the post that really is based on how I interpret certain moments, but to me he is absolutely one of those people. I don't really know where people get any vibes of him being interested in that stuff. I have never once looked at him and thought "Yeah I could see him in a romantic relationship with *insert character here*". Even aside from attraction in general, since that's what we'd be talking about at this point anyway, he just seems like the kind of guy who'd rather work and live independently instead of relying on anyone, whether practically or emotionally (which is also probably part of the reason he never joined the Vees, but that's another topic entirely). Hell, I'm pretty sure he's in heavy denial about even developing any kind of care or friendship with the people at the hotel (ie. the episode 8 scene with him and Niffty).

The only ships I see him involved in with people he doesn't hate (so ignoring RadioApple, RadioHusk, and StaticRadio. But to be real, maybe the fact all his main ships are enemies to lovers coded says something about the whole situation, but that's just me-) are Charlastor - which I will not even try to discuss here, people aren't gonna like this post as it is - and RadioRose. Rosie and him would at least be fair, if it weren't for one thing (which is also personal opinion on my end), and I don't know exactly how to word it. I'm tempted to say she has wingwoman vibes? But she knows he's aro, so that's not the right word, but there's vibes of like, she probably did act as a wingwoman before she realized that about him or something.. There's also something about her joking around like "Oh this is the girl? You have a girlfriend and I'm only now meeting her?" is almost giving motherly behavior. Idk man they're just besties to me, I could see them in a QPR though (not that they'd probably label it that way, considering the word queerplatonic is likely just complete gibberish to Alastor lmao).

So to summarize: It feels incredibly likely, if not practically canon, that Alastor was written with aromanticism in mind, even if Vivienne refuses to explicitly state it. Subtext and not-that-subtle implications can say just as much about a character as word of God, especially when that God has explicitly told us why she won't confirm or deny this information. Do I think any of this will stop people from shipping him romantically with literally any other character? No ofc it won't, and that's okay, that's just what fandoms do. I do think there's something to say for the fact the one aroace (or even at the very least asexual) character gets constantly shipped with everyone else in the cast, but this post is long enough I think. The only point of posting this is that I wanted to get information out there in one post to say "Hey, let's look a little bit past the surface for a second before saying there's no proof of him being aromantic"

Anyway, thanks for reading, I hope you at least took something away from this

[ro-is-struggling]

Can I pretty please request 6 with sirius black and perhaps slytherin! Reader?

Hi beautiful💜 Thank you so much for participating in the celebration and I'm sorry it took me so long to post your request!

This is so long for no reason I’m sorry!! I got soooo carried away I didn’t realize I wrote a fucking novel until it was to late lol But I really enjoyed wrtiring this one even tho it took forever and it was a pain in the ass to edit lol, I had a lot of fun so I hope you like it too

Dating 101 || Sirius Black x Slytherin!Reader

Summary: You and Sirius are not the best of friends, but you end up going to him in desperate need of help to get the attention of the guy you've liked for years but don't seem to be able to talk to. He agrees to help you and for the next few weeks you spend time together, getting to know each other better as he teaches you everything he knows about the dating world. The more time you spend together, the more you realize that Sirius is not the arrogant jerk you thought he was, which leads to confused feelings and doubts about who is the one who truly owns your heart.

Warnings: slow burn, rivals to lovers, attempt at humor, reader being awkward, fluff, a little angst kinda

English is not my first language 

Word count: 16.700

This fic is part of my 600 followers celeration

You couldn't believe what you were about to do, your brain screaming at you to stop. You felt sick at the thought of turning to Sirius for help, but you truly had no other choice. You had avoided this as much as you could, but your situation couldn't go on like this, not if you wanted to get your crush to look at you at some point. You weren't a big fan of Sirius —you found that he could be annoying and arrogant at times—, but you couldn't deny that he knew all about the dating world. He was confident and was able to get the attention of anyone he wanted just by giving them a smile. You couldn't understand how he did it —how could anyone be so charming?—, but you couldn't argue with the hard evidence. Sirius was a master at the art of dating and you needed his help. 

You felt a bit silly going to him for help with something like this. You weren't necessarily friends, more like frenemies. You usually argued and competed for points for your respective houses-Sirius for Gryffindor, you for Slytherin-you were both very good students and found your fights stimulating, but you also knew how to work together when necessary. You didn't hate each other, it was just that your personalities clashed easily and you both had a predilection for annoying the other to the point of madness. 

"I need your help with something, Black." You announced when you found him at the Gryffindor table in the Great Dining Hall. He was with his friends, laughing as they plotted who knows what, but you didn't care. You needed to talk to him and you needed to do it now. "Can we talk... in private?" You added as you noticed James, Peter and Remus' curious glances at you.

Sirius looked at you with a raised eyebrow, noticing a hint of discomfort in your action. You were fidgeting, your fingers lightly tapping the edges of the book you held in your hands as you moved your feet constantly, shifting your body weight from one to the other every couple of seconds. Something was bothering you and for some reason you had gone to him of all people. Sirius didn't need to ask you any more questions to follow you into the hallway, too intrigued by what you had to say.

“What’s up, Y/LN?” He asked you when he saw the doubt in your expression, opening and closing your mouth a couple of times without making a sound. He had to admit that your behavior kept poking his curiosity to the point that he was willing to say yes to anything you asked as long as you told him something.

"I need your help," you mumbled as you searched for the right words to explain your situation. Your brain was screaming at you to shut your mouth, sure that Sirius would do nothing but make fun of you, but you had no other options left so that was a risk you would have to take.

"You said that already," he pointed out. "What do you need my help for?"

"I need you to help me get a guy's attention. I know you're really good at this stuff and I thought maybe you could help me out." You spoke quickly, the words running over each other and making the sentence almost unintelligible. It took Sirius a few seconds to understand what you had said, but when he did a cocky smile formed on his face.

“Really?” You regretted asking for his help as soon as you heard the amused tone in his voice. He was definitely enjoying this, it wasn't every day that you were so vulnerable in front of him. He would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy listening to you compliment his abilities in the love department. For the first time you were admitting that he was better than you at something without putting up a fight.

"Forget it." You turned to walk away convinced that you had made a mistake in trusting someone like Sirius with your problem. You barely made it two steps before you felt his hand close around your arm to stop you.

"Nonono wait! I wanna help." He was quick to say before you got too far away. "What's your problem?" You remained silent for a moment, watching his face to make sure he wasn't messing with you. You weren't in the mood to put up with his teasing and this topic was too sensitive for you. If he wasn't willing to genuinely give you his help then you would have to leave.

However, you found nothing in his expression that made you suspect that he had bad intentions, so you told him your situation. You told him how much you liked this Oliver guy and how incredibly stupid you became whenever he was around. You had a crush on him for the past two years and even though you were from the same house and shared almost every class, you had never been able to exchange more than two words with him. And it was always embarrassing. All he had to do was look in your direction and you completely lost your cognitive abilities, becoming a nervous mess who couldn't utter more than two words without stuttering. 

After all this time you had almost gotten used to making a fool of yourself in front of Oliver, it was a constant part of your day to day life so you had stopped worrying about it the way you used to. You held out hope that you could get better with time, gather the confidence and courage to face your feelings and have a normal conversation with him at least once. However, all your hopes were shattered after the embarrassing moment you experienced this morning.

The Potions class had dragged on a bit so by the time you were finally able to leave the classroom everyone was running late for their next classes. Everybody rushed through the halls and in the confusion of people Oliver bumped into you, causing your books to fall to the floor. Like the gentleman he was, he bent down with you to pick them up and your fingers brushed as he handed them back to you, causing the skin on your hand to tingle. He smiled at you and apologized for hitting you, but your brain, overwhelmed by the contact and proximity, wouldn't allow you to do anything but mumble incoherently. When you noticed the confusion on his face you knew it was time to run, so you grabbed your books and ran down the hallway, bumping into a couple of students on the way.

“Wow! You suck!” Sirius laughed at your misery. He had a hard time imagining you as someone so shy and awkward given that with him you were Miss I-Know-It-All. Sirius always saw you as a confident and self-assured girl, ready to take the world by storm if it got in the way of your goals.

"I know!" you admitted with a tone of frustration, hiding your face in your hands. You didn't see the point in lying to Sirius, your pride was already crushed from the moment you decided to go to him. "That's why I need your help!"

"Okay, I'll help you, but what's in it for me?" The way he was looking at you, with a raised eyebrow and an amused smile on his face, made you suspicious of his intentions. What was he getting at? " What's in it for me if I help you, something that, let me remind you, I have absolutely no need to do?"

"My eternal gratitude?"

"Oh, it has to be something better than that! You're asking for a lot here, do you have any idea of how much work it's gonna take me to fix your awkwardness?" You knew he was joking for the most part and you were aware that there was a lot of truth behind his words —you were pretty much a lost case—, but it still hurt a little to hear him say that. You weren't used to taking his words without putting up a fight, but you knew that wouldn't get you anywhere. It was time to swallow your pride and listen to Sirius no matter how ridiculous and annoying it sounded.

"Then what do you want?" You asked him, letting out a frustrated sigh, crossing your arms in front of your chest in a defiant stance. You had no time for his games and you were pretty much willing to do anything for his help. "Name your price."

Sirius took a moment to think, but there was something in his expression that suggested to you that he already knew exactly what he wanted from you. 

"Fine I'll do it, but only if you help me with my Herbology assignment." He stated after a few seconds of silence. You looked at him in surprise, doubting for a moment if you had heard correctly. For some reason you were expecting something more terrible, like him using you to make a prank against your own house or having you as a servant for a week, you know, something that felt more like a punishment than anything else.

"Really? That's it?" It was a reflex caused by surprise that you couldn't help but blurt out. You were more than happy with his terms, helping him in Herbology was something you could do with ease.

"No, now that I think about it I also want you to declare to everyone that I'm better than you in everything, but we can work on that." 

And there was the Sirius you knew. You shook your head in disapproval, but couldn't contain the giggle that escaped your lips. He was an idiot, but a funny idiot. 

"Fine! We have a deal?" You asked, holding out your hand for him to shake. He looked at you for a moment before taking your hand, closing his fingers over it in a firm grip.

"We have a deal."

Sirius refused to tell you what he had planned for his first lesson  —his words, not yours. No matter how hard you pressed him for a clue, he kept his mouth shut. He told you it was best that you didn't know more than the day and time he wanted to meet with you to discuss your situation, so you had to spend the week between the stress of homework and exams and the nerves Sirius aroused in you with all the secrecy. 

But finally, after so much suffering and uncertainty, Saturday came. You usually took advantage of the weekend to do your homework or spend time with your friends, but not this time. From the moment you woke up you spent the day counting down the hours until you could meet Sirius. You weren't even surprised that he took his role comically seriously, walking around you while talking as if he was a teacher and you were his only student. He even made exaggerated gestures, mixing several of your teachers into one personality. He only needed a board to write nonsense on and the character would be complete. You didn't mind that he found a way to joke in the middle of it all, you figured that was better than literally anything else he could come up with.

"Today's lesson is about confidence." Sirius announced firmly, looking down at you as if you were an innocent little girl and he was an experienced adult who had all the answers to your questions. And in a way he was, so you closed your mouth and listened to what he had to say. "If you want to ask this guy out then first you have to be able to be able to talk to him. And for that you have to be confident in yourself and your abilities. That's really the most important part of all. Confidence can get you far in life."

You knew very well that what he said was true, but it was much easier said than done. You were a confident girl in general, sure of your ideas and unafraid to communicate them. In any other area of life you had no problem making yourself heard, but when it came to love your brain stopped working. It was the one thing your brain couldn't master, the one thing that didn't seem to make sense and therefore was impossible to study. The world and everything you knew about it stopped making sense when Oliver got close to you. Your brain would fry when he smiled, overwhelmed by the perfection of his face, and suddenly forget how to function properly, making your strong and special personality get lost in a bunch of incoherent babbling.

“That’s easier said than done,” you complained, letting out a frustrated sigh. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but everytime Oliver looks at me I get all stupid and suddenly I forget how to speak.”

“You’re insecure because you lack experience in the matter, that’s completely normal.” You frowned at the confidence in Sirius' voice, but after contemplating his words for a few seconds you realized he was right. How he had been able to figure it out so quickly, you didn't know.

“That… actually makes sense. What do you think I should do?”

“Easy! You need to practice.” He said as if it were obvious, dropping down next to you.

“Practice?”

“Yep, right here, right now. Show me what you’ve got.”

“S-show you what I’ve got?” you repeated in a whisper, unsure how to proceed. You didn't have any lines if that's what he meant. You didn't usually walk around school thinking about which boy's attention you wanted to attract that day, so you didn't have a list of stupid, cheesy icebreaker phrases like you knew he had.

"Just pretend that I'm him. You have me sitting next to you, what's your line?" Sirius' eyes were glued to yours, looking at you expectantly. It made you nervous, so naturally, you made nothing but a fool of yourself when you opened your mouth.

"Hey there... you..." you hesitantly mumble, cringing at yourself. You wanted to slap yourself for being so pathetic. What was wrong with you? You were so much better than this, why was it impossible for you to sound like a normal person when it came to a guy? "I'm sorry, this isn't working. I'm not usually the one that initiates the conversations. Also when I look at you I just see you, so this is dumb." 

You hid your face in your hands to avoid meeting Sirius' mocking gaze. You knew he was probably getting a kick out of your suffering and stupidity, although you were thankful he didn't make it so obvious. You wanted to run out of there, hide under your sheets and never be noticed again by any other human being. There was no hope for you, you were convinced of it. You were too pathetic and you would die alone because of it.

"Fine, let's try a different approach." Sirius sounded too optimistic for someone who had seen you make a fool of yourself like that. "You see that guy over there," he said, forcing you to take your hands away from your face so you could see the boy he was pointing at. When you nodded, he continued. "I want you to get over there and flirt with him."

You let out a long laugh that died as soon as you noticed the seriousness on Sirius' face. "Wait, seriously?" He nodded with a smile and you felt your stomach start to twist with nerves. 

"Look, talking to Oliver scares you, right? The only way to get over it is to face it right here, right now. So I want you to go there and talk to that guy."

"And say what?" You panicked, your voice a couple of notes higher than normal. You didn't even know the guy Sirius wanted you to flirt with, which guaranteed not only that things would go horribly wrong but also that you would be humiliated in front of a complete stranger. Great! That was exactly what you needed at that moment. “I don’t know if you noticed, but I can barely talk to you. what am I supposed to say to this guy?”

“I don’t know, use a dumb line like…” Sirius took a few seconds to think, though you wished he had never opened his mouth again. "Hey, I could tell from across the room we might be into each other, now that I'm here I know it, your move." The exaggeratedly feminine voice he made as he recited the worst line you'd ever heard in your life did nothing to ease your urge to hit him. There was no way you were going to say that to a complete stranger. No, you refused.

"I'm sorry, have you met me? I couldn't get through three words of that."

"Fine! Walk over there and say hey there."

"Hey there?" You tried to protest, but he cut you off, pushing you to get up.

"C'mon, up, up!" you resisted his pushes, but Sirius was much stronger than you and eventually won you over. 

You took several deep breaths before you decided to take the first step towards that mysterious boy who was so calmly reading a book sitting on a bench in the hallway overlooking the courtyard. You walked as slowly as possible without looking weird, turning every two seconds to look at Sirius hoping he would take pity on you and let you go back to your place. However, he just smiled at you, giving you the thumbs up in a gesture of encouragement and making you hate him just a little bit.

You sat on the unoccupied end of the bench, making yourself as small as possible to try to go unnoticed. It didn't make much sense since you were supposed to talk to him, but first you needed a moment to calm your nerves. 

C'mon, you can do this!' the voice of bravery in your mind tried to encourage you. 'It's just a guy! The sooner you talk to him, the sooner you can get this over with.'

You tried to summon your inner Sirius and, letting out a sigh, you turned to look at the boy who was still concentrating on the book in his hands. "Hey there!" Your voice sounded smaller and more pathetic than you meant it to, but it managed to get the boy's attention.

"Hi," he said, slightly confused. A few seconds of awkward silence ensued as your brain struggled to function, thinking of the best way to continue the conversation. 

"What are you reading there?" Without saying anything, the boy closed the book in his hands to show you the cover, giving you time to read the title. It was an old book from the library on the history of the magical world. "Ah, I see. Homework or pleasure?" You didn't know why you were so interested in the book he was reading, it didn't even matter for what you were supposed to be doing, but at least it was a topic of conversation. It was either that or a deep uncomfortable silence until one of you got tired and left.

"I'm doing some research for an essay," he explained as if it were obvious. What teenager would spend a weekend reading a history book for pleasure?

“Oh, about what? Cause I’m really good at History and I-”

“I’m sorry but I’m kinda busy,” he interrupted you before you could continue with your ramblings that were going nowhere. "Is there something I can do for you?"

"Oh no, sorry!" you were quick to apologize, feeling the blood from all over your body pooling in your cheeks. Embarrassed, you turned your gaze away from the boy looking for anything else to focus on so you wouldn't have to face your humiliation. Your eyes met Sirius, who gave you a smile. On his lips you read words of encouragement, so you took another deep breath and returned your attention to the boy sitting next to you. "Actually... I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go out with me sometime?"

An awkward silence formed and lasted a few seconds. The boy's eyes locked on you, but you couldn't hold his gaze as you waited for an answer. Your eyes searched Sirius once again for comfort and that's when you heard the laughter.

"That was good! Did Sirius put you up to this?" the boy laughed, humiliating you a little more with each chuckle. Of course he thought it was a joke!

"You got me!" you blurted out with a fake laugh, throwing your hands up in the air in defeat. "He dared me to come over and talk to you. I'm sorry to have bothered you."

The boy said something else, but you didn't hear him since you were already running back to Sirius. You felt humiliated and dejected. Not only had you made a fool of yourself, but it had all been for nothing. That experience hadn't taught you anything you didn't already know —that you were awkward and weird and that you would die alone because of your lack of flirting skills.

"See, that wasn't so bad!" Sirius encouraged you as you sat back down next to him. "You got him to laugh!"

"That was humiliating and I hate you."

"Well too bad because now I want you to talk to fifteen guys."

"What? No, forget it!" Sirius was crazy if he thought you were willing to do that again. You'd been humiliated enough for one day, you wanted to go to sleep now.

"Oh my sweet, innocent little bug." Sirius said in an almost condescending tone, putting his arm around your shoulders and pulling you close to him. You scrunched up your nose at the strange nickname he had chosen for you, trying to decide if you hated it or thought it was funny. "Confidence takes work. You can't just talk to one guy and expect everything to magically change. You need to work for it, take a few hits, learn that a negative response it's not the end of the world and it doesn't define who you are or your value as a person."

"It's easy for you to say! All you have to do is smile and every girl in school throw themselves at you."

"That's because I already put in the work, silly." He bumped your nose with his finger and you rolled your eyes, pushing him to break free from his embrace. Suddenly you weren't in the mood for his bullshit. "So now I want you to do the same. Go get them!"

Letting out a grunt, you got up and set off down the corridors of Hogwarts in search of boys who were isolated enough to give you some privacy while you made a fool of yourself —the last thing you wanted was to be the laughing stock of the whole school. And as you walked along you couldn't help but think that maybe asking Sirius for help hadn't been as great an idea as you had initially thought.

“How exactly do you kill two mandrakes in a row?” Was your answer when Sirius told you the reason why he needed your help in Herbology. As part of the practical exam for the OWLs, Sirius had to tend a mandrake plant until it was fully ripe and then present it to the professor. It was not an easy task —mandrakes, like humans, were complicated beings—, but not impossible either. Sirius was a very skilled wizard and you believed that someone like him would have no problem with such a task. But apparently you were wrong, because according to what he had told you it was the second time the plant withered and died before it developed squeaky roots similar to a very ugly human baby.

"I don't know! That's why I'm asking for your help." He shrugged, opening the greenhouse door and stepping aside to let you pass. You found his response suspicious, it was hard to believe that someone like Sirius couldn't take care of a simple mandrake, but you didn't say anything about it. Instead, you let him lead you over to where his pot rested. "What am I doing wrong?"

“Well, have you been watering it enough?” was your first question when you noticed that the soil in the pot looked a little dry. You motioned for him to hand you the watering can and you took it upon yourself to hydrate the poor plant. "You need to check on it regularly. Mandrakes are very similar to us, they need love and attention to grow strong and healthy."

"I'm not going to treat this thing like it's my baby or something." Sirius complained, leaning back on the table as he watched you analyzing the state of the plant. He had to admit that the light reflected off the greenhouse in a unique way, giving you a different aura. You were glowing in a special way that Saturday morning and he couldn't help but wonder what was causing it.

"You'll have to do it if you want to pass the exam." Your voice snapped him out of his thoughts, bringing him back to reality. "But don't worry, I'll help you. We'll co-parent this thing." You both shared a laugh at how ridiculous that sounded, but Sirius would be lying if he said that the idea of spending more time with you disgusted him. He didn't quite know what was happening to him, but lately he didn't find you as annoying and insufferable as usual. Maybe it was because you weren't looking to argue with him every five minutes, or the fact that he had gotten to know a different side of you, but he found himself enjoying the time you spent together. It was fun to joke with you without starting a war.

You spent the next hour talking about mandrakes and you gave Sirius a couple of tips on how to keep it alive. You ended up setting up a schedule for him, marking the times when he had to visit to water it and when to move it to get the exact amount of sunlight it needed to grow strong. If he followed your advice, the mandrake would reach its squeaky baby stage in a couple of weeks. You promised to help him dig it up and repot it as it grew, but assured him that the daily care would fall to him so you could make sure he was learning something —after all, you didn't want to help him pass his OWL Herbology exam by cheating.

You parted ways when lunchtime arrived, each of you going to the table of your respective houses to eat with your friends. However, Sirius approached you again a couple of hours later while you were waiting with the other students to go on the Hogsmeade trip.

"Ready for your next lesson?" he said as he put his arm around your shoulders. It took you by surprise since in all the time you had shared in the morning he hadn't mentioned anything about having your next lesson.

"Already?" you asked, remembering that it had only been a week since your disastrous first lesson. Well, it hadn't been so bad after all. Sure, you had spent the afternoon humiliating yourself, talking nonsense to the first guy who crossed your path, but in the end you had managed to get a positive response from one. The small victory had made you feel good, but you still needed some more time to recover. 

"Well, you were really helpful this morning so I wanted to do something in return."

"Is it going to take long? Cause I wanted to go out with the girls."

"Just give me an hour, then you're free to go." You looked at him with hesitation in your eyes, the ghost of their last encounter haunting you. If his next lesson was going to be as terrible as the first you weren't sure you were ready, you needed time to prepare your mind for the humiliation. "C'mon, you're going to like this one." Sirius insisted with a smile and you ended up giving in to his charms. 

This time you kept your questions to yourself about what you'd do to yourself, knowing that Sirius wasn't going to give you a clue. You walked around Hogsmeade by his side, making casual small talk and laughing at his jokes as if you were lifelong best friends. However when you arrived at Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop you couldn't help but ask him what were you doing there.

"The second lesson is going to be about the date itself and how to create the proper atmosphere." Sirius explained as he led you to one of the overly decorated tables. "If you want the date to end with you guys making out, you have to think ahead." You wrinkled your nose at his choice of words, but didn't mention anything about it.

"What do you in your infinite wisdom advise me to do?" you joked as you settled back in your seat. You stayed silent for a moment as you were served your tea, before returning to your conversation.

"Close proximity is very important if you want to create an intimate moment." Sirius declared as he took a sip of his tea. "No one is making out if they're three feet apart, so no matter where you have the date, you have to make sure you're close to each other." You listened to him speak attentively, trying hard to retain the information he was giving you as if you were studying for an exam.

“Being close, got it.” You repeated nodding your head, making a mental list of his advice that you hoped you wouldn't forget by the time you returned to school.

"If you come here for your date, you have to make sure you don't sit across from each other. Instead, move your chair a little closer to his, like this." Sirius slid his chair until it was almost next to yours so you were nestled against one side of the round table full of corny decorations. You could feel the warmth his body radiated caressing your skin. It made you nervous, though you didn't quite know why. You supposed it was because you weren't used to being so close to a guy —especially him— in a place that looked so romantic.

"See, this is better for flirting, accidental touching and making out." His voice had turned into a soft whisper, leaning toward you so he could speak in your ear. His breath collided against your neck with each word that left his lips, giving you goosebumps. The blood rushed to your cheeks from embarrassment, making your face feel on fire. 

When you dared to look up, your eyes met Sirius's deep gray eyes admiring your face. It was the first time you were so close to him, you could clearly note every detail of his face, every glint in his cold gray orbs. Suddenly you understood all the girls at Hogwarts who sighed lovingly every time they saw him passing through the school halls. He had a singular beauty that came completely naturally to him, effortlessly. It was hard to look away from his perfect features and captivating eyes, even though you felt small and self-conscious under his intense gaze.

Sirius' eyes trailed down your face, lingering over your lips for a fraction of a second. It was almost imperceptible, but you noticed it, just as you noticed the arrogant little smile that formed at the corner of his lips. The air caught in your throat as you felt the room grow smaller, trapping you with him, forcing you to be close to him. And when his fingers brushed the exposed skin of your knee you couldn't help but let out a shriek of surprise, jumping in your seat to get away from him.

Sirius laughed as you struggled to compose yourself, breathing deeply to calm the wild pounding of your heart, repeating in your mind that the tingling you felt in your knee was just the product of your imagination and meant nothing. "It's not funny, you jerk!" you complained, tapping him on the shoulder to shut him up.

"You say that 'cause you didn't see your face." He laughed and you rolled your eyes. He was an idiot.

"If you don't stop laughing I'll leave and I won't help you with your little Herbology project." You threatened him and that seemed to get his attention.

“Okay, okay!” Sirius exclaimed, raising his hands in the air in surrender. He moved away from you again and that allowed you to breathe easier as you regained your personal space. "So, moving on... How do you set the tone at the date? Lighting matters, okay? The darker it is, the better. It creates a more intimate atmosphere."

"Close proximity, lighting, okay." You repeated, adding more details to your mental list. "What else?"

"Body language! Is he leaning in? Is he sitting close?" Sirius moved closer to you again, exemplifying his words with his actions. Your heart rate spiked once again as you felt the warmth of his body envelop you once more. His hand brushed yours on the table, forcing your gaze back to them. You felt the strange urge to entwine your fingers with his, wondering what it would feel like to hold his hand, but you held back, trying to focus on his words to distract yourself.

"And then it's all about interaction." He continued, as if he didn't know the effect his closeness had on you. "Is he trying to impress you? Does he say complimentary things to you? If yes, chances are he's going to make his move."

"Wow, I had no idea guys like you even thought about this kind of stuff." you said in a sarcastic tone, hoping it would help ease the tension you felt in the air. 

"Well, that's because you're mean and you always think the worst of people." he joked and you laughed. He was kind of right. "But it's okay, I forgive you." Sirius put his arm around your shoulders again, pulling you against his body as you laughed and shook your head.

The tension in the air was beginning to dissipate, allowing you to have a good time together without feeling awkward and weird. You shared a couple more laughs before your date was interrupted by the voice of your best friend, who had seen you and Sirius from the store window as she walked through Hogsmeade and couldn't believe her eyes. As far as she knew you hated each other, so why were you hugging while drinking tea at Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop, a place frequented by couples?

You jumped on your feet at the mention of your name, struggling to think of an excuse that would justify you and Sirius being there. Despite the fact that she was your best friend, you hadn't told her about your little plan to get Oliver's attention. Not only was it humiliating to need help in order to get a date, but it was even more humiliating to have to go to the guy you argued with the most in all of Hogwarts for advice. It wasn't a decision you were proud of and you thought it was better if no one knew about it.

In the end it was Sirius who saved you, telling your friend that you were there with him to honor your part of a bet you had lost. It wasn't the first time you two had bet when arguing about something and most of the time it was the humiliation of the other that was at stake, so your friend bought the lie without asking many questions.

Before leaving Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop to follow your friend, you made sure to thank Sirius for saving you. He smiled at you, downplaying it, though you could swear there was a glint of sadness in his eyes as he looked back at you. You wanted to ask him if everything was alright, finding the sudden change in his mood strange, but before you could open your mouth you were interrupted by your friend's voice hurrying you to leave. 

In the end you could only give Sirius an apologetic smile before following your friend and disappearing out the door. But for the rest of the day you continued to think about the events of that afternoon, wondering why you felt so strange when Sirius was around and why you almost wished you could have stayed with him in the tea store for a while longer.

By the time the third lesson came around you were already having doubts about everything. Did it make any sense? Was anything Sirius was telling you really going to do you any good? Did you even want to go out with Oliver?

Wait, what?

Of course you wanted to go out with him! He had been your crush for years and you had done nothing but fantasize about talking to him, admiring him from a distance hoping that he would reciprocate your feelings. He was the only guy you had ever cared about all this time, so of course you wanted to go out with him. You didn't understand where that stupid question had come from.

And then, as if the universe was giving you an answer, you felt the weight of Sirius' arm on your shoulders. As you looked up you met his charming smile, the one that once seemed arrogant and made you roll your eyes in annoyance, but now awakened a strange but comforting warmth inside you. Could it be that he was the reason behind your confusion?

"Ready for your next lesson, dove?" He spoke with his characteristic cheerful and nonchalant tone of voice. He was so casual that you almost missed the new nickname he had decided to use with you on that beautiful Friday afternoon.

"I'm 'dove' now?" you asked, looking at him with a confused frown. It was a little strange, but you'd be lying if you said the nickname didn't awaken something in you, something you couldn't describe or put into words, but it made you feel good.

"Yes, because you're sweet and innocent like a dove." Sirius explained as if it were obvious, shrugging it off. It was clear that it wasn't a big deal to him, just a nickname he found amusing, but you on the other hand were a completely different story. You grew nervous all of a sudden and felt the heat of embarrassment on your cheeks. Never before had a boy used affectionate nicknames like that with you so you didn't really know how to react. So you didn't say anything, you just looked away and cleared your throat, pretending your heart wasn't beating at a dangerously fast pace.

"Don't you think it's a little late for a lesson?" you spoke after a few seconds of silence, watching the sun begin to set on the horizon. 

"I tend to work better at night." He winked at you and you nudged him in the ribs, though you couldn't contain a slight chuckle that escaped your lips.

"Fine, what are you going to teach me today?"

For the next few minutes you and Sirius talked about the importance of your date outfit, not so much to impress Oliver, but to make you feel comfortable and confident and thus increase your chances of success on the date. He talked about how everybody has that one piece of clothing that is special and makes them feel like the best version of themselves. For him it was his leather jacket, it was the first piece of clothing he had chosen and bought for himself to piss off his parents who only wanted to see him wear old-fashioned and uncomfortable tunics. It represented his rebellious spirit, his freedom, and so he wore it all the time. It was a reminder of who he was, of everything he had to fight against in order to express his true self, and that's why it made him feel comfortable and confident every time he wore it.

You didn't have anything remotely like that. You felt quite comfortable and liberated when you were alone in your room curled up in your bed wearing your pajamas while reading a book, but you doubted you could wear something like that on a date. You had never been very interested in fashion and accessories, you found that world too overwhelming. You didn't even think you had a favorite style, just a pile of clothes in your closet that you wore hoping they would match. 

"We have to change that!" was the answer Sirius gave you when you explained your situation. "Meet me in the third floor corridor after dinner, the one with the statue of the one-eyed witch."

"What?" you asked him with confusion. You hated his cryptic answers, why was it so hard for him to be direct and tell you what was on his mind? "What for?"

“Just trust me on this.” 

You had to admit that Sirius wasn't inspiring much trust in you at the moment. Why on earth did he want to meet you so late and why couldn't you do whatever it was he had in mind right now? Why was it so important that it was at night? And what was the deal with the third floor hallway? What was he up to?

None of your questions got an answer because before you could ask them he got up and left, leaving you alone and confused. 

You spent the next few hours debating whether it was wise to listen to Sirius or not. Wandering around the castle after dinner was forbidden and while you had broken that rule a couple of times, you never felt right when you did. It gave you too much anxiety and you didn't enjoy sneaking through the corridors looking over your shoulder every second. You weren't exactly a fan of that kind of adrenaline. 

That said, you couldn't deny that the idea of wandering around Hogwarts at night with Sirius sounded tempting. He was the king of breaking the rules, so you were sure he had his fair share of tricks to avoid getting caught. Usually you hated the impunity with which he carried himself, walking the halls of the school as if he owned it, unbothered about the consequences of his actions. But now that you knew him a little better you couldn't help but feel a little excited at the idea of being his partner in crime. 

Maybe there was some sense in his madness. Maybe he really was funny and you had spent all this time hating him for it because he annoyed you as a person. Since you had started this experiment with him you had done nothing but learn to see the world through his eyes. Every minute you spent together helped you to understand a little better his thoughts and the reasons why he did what he did. You had learned to like him, so why not give him a chance now? Maybe you would finally understand the reason behind his rebelliousness.

So, when you finished dinner you found a way to sneak up to the third floor undetected. You got there first, which gave your brain time to rethink the decision it had made as you paced back and forth nervously. However, when Sirius appeared a couple of minutes later apologizing for the delay all your doubts and fears disappeared.

"I had to make a quick stop to get some things." He explained, pointing to the crumpled piece of fabric he had hanging from one arm and the scrap of parchment he was holding in his hand.

"Are you finally going to tell me what the hell are we doing here?" You asked, crossing your arms. "If this is a prank I swear to Merlin-"

“I would never, dove.” Sirius interrupted you, awakening that strange warmth inside you once again by using the affectionate nickname. "I'm a man of my word and I intend to honor our agreement. But first I need to ask you something."

You furrowed your brow in confusion, but nodded your head without a second thought. "Sure, what is it?"

"You have to promise me that all this is going to stay between us. You can't tell anyone about what we're about to do." The secrecy seemed strange to you but it also peaked your curiosity. Why was it so important to him that no one knew what you were going to do? What did he have planned? 

There was only one way to find out.

"I promise," you assured him, waiting for him to explain what was going on.

"Great!" Sirius smiled and then pulled out his wand. He approached the statue of the one-eyed witch and touched it with the tip of his wand, uttering the word 'Dissendium'. Then an entrance to a dark tunnel opened up, a secret passageway inside the castle that you had no idea where it led to. If you weren't confused before, you definitely were now. What on earth was Sirius up to and why did it involve a secret tunnel?

"H-How did you do that?" You asked, dumbfounded. You needed to know how Sirius knew not only that there was a secret passage in the castle, but also how to open it. "How did you know?"

"I didn't spend all these years wandering around the castle for nothing." Was the answer he gave you, winking at you before entering the secret passage. "C'mon, let's go!"

Cautiously, you followed Sirius into the tunnel, pulling out your wand to light the way as the statue returned to its original position and the light at the entrance disappeared. You kept close to him as you walked, scanning your surroundings as you tried to guess where the passageway would lead you. It seemed to have no end. No matter how far you walked, you seemed no closer to getting to the other side. The lack of lighting didn't help much, it just added a creepy vibe that gave you goosebumps. Was Sirius planning to kill you?

"Where are you taking me?" you asked him after a few minutes of silence. You felt like you had been walking forever and still hadn't reached your destination.

"You'll see."

"Are you going to kill me and leave my body abandoned here?" you joked and he let out a laugh.

"Why would I want to kill you?"

You shrugged. "To avoid confronting the fact that I'm better than you at everything."

"At everything?" He repeated, looking at you with a raised eyebrow. "Are you sure about that? Because last time I checked I'm not the one desperate for dating advice."

“Shut up!” You said, hitting him on the shoulder.

“Besides, you still have to admit to everyone that I’m better than you, remember?” He reminded you of his words the day you came to him for help. At the time you didn't think he was serious, but now you weren't so sure.

"You wish." You muttered under your breath, rolling your eyes. Being friends was one thing, but indulging him by admitting that he was better than you was something you weren't willing to do.

“What was that?”

“Nothing!”

“That's what I thought.”

You continued walking as you laughed and joked with each other, chatting to distract yourselves from the long time you seemed to need to get to the end of that damned tunnel. As it turned out, the secret passageway connected Hogwarts to the cellar of Honeydukes. Sirius led you through the now deserted store carefully, but not before wrapping you both in the crumpled piece of cloth he had slung over his arm. He put it over your shoulders first and when you questioned him about it he pointed towards your body which had now disappeared. 

Suddenly the success of his pranks and the gift he seemed to have for wandering around the castle without being caught made sense. He had an invisibility cloak! He was a fraud! Anyone could accomplish the extraordinary things he did if they had such a wonderful and convenient object as an invisibility cloak.

You were about to let out a sarcastic comment about it, but the air caught in your throat when you felt Sirius wrap his arms around your body, pulling you close to him. His warmth enveloped you as he stretched the cloth to cover your body as well, making sure you were both protected by the magical fabric to make sure you weren't discovered. 

Walking through the streets of Hogsmeade under the limited space provided by the cloak was uncomfortable, especially when you felt Sirius' warm breath against your ear. You had to constantly remind yourself to breathe, but not too fast because then he would notice the effect his closeness had on you. You hoped he didn't already know, although the way he wrapped his arm around your waist made you think otherwise. Damn, he was good! Just a brush of his fingers on your skin and you were already sighing like half the girls at school.

"What are we doing here?" You asked as you noticed that you had stopped at a clothing store.

"Isn't it obvious?" Sirius spoke without looking at you, pulling out his wand and muttering a simple incantation to unlock the door. "We're going to find your perfect outfit."

"Couldn't we have done that when the store was open, you know, in the daylight?" you pointed out, hurrying into the store before anyone on the street could see you. You were pretty sure what you were doing was illegal. Not only had you two snuck out of the school using a secret passageway, but you had also broken into a store and were about to rummage through the inventory of clothing without permission from its owners. 

You should be terrified, for all you knew you could be expelled from Hogwarts if you were discovered —not to mention the lecture your parents would give you at home. However, there was something about Sirius that filled you with a sense of security. For some reason in your mind nothing bad could happen to you if he was by your side.

"Yeah but we would have to wait for the next trip to Hogsmeade." He responded, justifying his actions with the excuse that the normal —and legal— way would take too long. "Besides, it's more fun this way." Sirius smiled at you and you shook your head, but you couldn't help but think he was kind of right.

"So we're going to rob these people?"

"No! We can pay for what we take, don't worry." He assured you, though it sounded too casual for your liking. You were breaking into a store and he was acting like he was going through the clothes in his closet. It made you wonder how many times he had done something similar in the past.

"Now get over here and start choosing clothes!"

Once you stopped thinking about the weirdness of the situation you started to have a little fun. Sirius helped you sort through the clothes, passing you items he wanted you to try on. Some were serious and some were just to joke around with you. You had to admit that even though you normally hated shopping, the activity became infinitely more fun if Sirius was with you. 

You lost count of the time you spent inside that store, making a mess of the clothes that had been neatly folded and arranged on hangers and shelves prior to your arrival. You tried on every style and aesthetic the store had to offer, modeling each outfit for the watchful eye of Sirius, who always found something nice to say about everything you wore.

"You suck at this!" you complained with a chuckle after he complimented the color palette of a ridiculously extravagant outfit you had put on for the sole purpose of making him laugh. "You're not helping me decide at all! Give me your real opinions."

"I am! I swear!" Sirius defended himself, raising his hands in the air. "It's just that everything looks good on you, dove."

You let out an incredulous laugh, rolling your eyes to hide the true effect his words had on you. You knew he didn't mean it, but you couldn't control the rapid beating of your heart every time he blurted out a line like that.

"I'm sure you tell that to all the girls in school."

"Never! You're the only one, dove."

Shaking your head, you disappeared into the dressing room once more. You didn't want to give him the chance to continue his meaningless flirting. You didn't quite understand why he was doing it. You knew he didn't love you —not in that way at least—, so why was it so easy for him to throw those kinds of comments around like it was nothing? Was he trying to boost your confidence? Or maybe it was because he was so used to jokingly flirting with everyone that he couldn't help but do it with you too. You honestly didn't know, it was hard to read him on that aspect.

Part of you wished he would stop because even though you knew he was just joking, you found it impossible not to feel things when he would tell you how pretty you were or call you affectionate nicknames. He was getting your hopes up for nothing, making you believe that someone like him could like someone like you. It was tiring to have to constantly remind your heart not to believe anything that came out of Sirius' mouth.

You tried to keep your doubts from ruining the nice moment you were sharing, shaking the thoughts out of your head and working on putting on your next outfit. Only, when you emerged from the dressing room to show Sirius, you found that he too was wearing an outfit he had taken from the pile of messy clothes. But it wasn't just any outfit, it was one that you had discarded after wearing it for a few minutes and ruling that it looked odd on you. And the worst part was that Sirius seemed to look better in it than you.

"What are you wearing?" you asked him, chuckling as he modeled for you.

"Am I a pretty girl?" Sirius said, looking at you through his eyelashes. He did a couple of exaggerated poses while pretending to be a high fashion model, eliciting from you one of the loudest and most genuine laughs you've ever had. But you had to admit that he did look good considering the clothes weren't the right size or cut for him.

"Yes, very pretty." You complimented him as you caught your breath, rummaging through the pile of clothes for another outfit for him. "Here, try this one."

Everything spiraled out of control then. You momentarily forgot that you were trespassing in a store late at night as you played dress up with Sirius like two little kids. It had been a long time since you had felt so free and relaxed and a part of you couldn't believe that Sirius was the one who had awakened that chill side of you. Usually he would do the opposite —annoy you and stress you out to the point of insanity—, but since you had started this little experiment together he kept surprising you. 

Now that you knew each other a little better, he made you laugh and for some reason he inspired reassurance and trust. All your fears that he would make fun of you or take advantage of the situation to humiliate you were behind you. He wasn't that kind of guy, no matter how immature and silly he usually seemed. Honestly, you loved this new relationship you had, where you still maintained a certain level of healthy rivalry combined with lots of laughter and inside jokes. Even if things with Oliver didn't turn out the way you wanted them to, you were still happy because at least he had left you with a new friendship.

What you weren't happy about, however, was fixing up the store after the mess you had made. Even with magic it took quite a while to put everything back in its place, but somehow Sirius found a way to make that tedious activity fun too.

But your jokes were interrupted when you came across something that caught your eye. As you were rearranging the clothes on one of the shelves you found a dress. It was black and had long sleeves made of the most beautiful lace you had ever seen, with detailed patterns that added a special delicacy to the piece. It was truly beautiful and you didn't know how you hadn't seen it before.

"You should try it on." Sirius' voice alerted you, snapping you out of your thoughts.

"No, it's okay. We should just go, it's getting late." You put the dress back in its place, stepping away from that rack to rearrange the last remaining pile of disarranged clothes. That dress was beautiful, almost too beautiful for someone like you. You didn't think you could pull it off, so you preferred not to go near it. You didn't want to destroy your self-esteem if it turned out that the dress looked bad on you.

By the time you got back to school it was so late that everyone in the castle was asleep. It wasn't difficult for you to navigate the halls of Hogwarts undetected since Sirius had one of the best inventions in the history of magic: a map that told him the exact location of all the students and teachers within the school grounds. He didn't want to give you many details about it other than that it was a project he had done with the help of his friends and you didn't press him for more. Now you understood why he had made you promise not to tell anyone about tonight. Apparently he had more than one magical artifact that was best kept secret.

"Thank you for this," you said when you reached the entrance to your common room. Sirius had insisted on accompanying you to make sure you arrived safely before heading to the Gryffindor tower. "I had a great time."

"Me too," he admitted with a smile. He had really enjoyed spending time with you. He found that he really liked the relaxed and fun version of you that he had met tonight and wanted to see more of you. "I hope that after this you will realize how beautiful you look when you are more relaxed. Laughter suits you, you should do it more often."

You remained silent for a few seconds, not knowing what to say. That familiar feeling of warmth ran through you at his words, your whole body buzzing with joy. A smile formed on your face, a genuine sign of how much you appreciated his kindness.

"Goodnight, Sirius." You gave him a kiss on the cheek before turning and disappearing behind the doors of the Slytherin common room.

Sirius stood in place for a few seconds, staring at the spot where you had just been seconds before as he felt a tingling on the skin of his cheek where you had kissed him. Your scent still lingered in the air entering his system through his nostrils and clouding his thoughts with images of your smile.

"Goodnight, dove." he murmured to the air, bringing his hand to his cheek.

He knew then that he was screwed.

You noticed something was wrong with Sirius the moment you saw him walk through the greenhouse doors. You were meeting to change the mandrake pot as you had promised him you would. It was a relatively simple process if you took the proper precautions and a job best done in silence —you wouldn't be able to hear each other anyway because of the earmuffs protecting you—, but even for that he was too quiet. He lacked his characteristic sparkle, that mischievous twinkle you always noticed in his eyes. His smile had been replaced by a frown and he was distracted. He seemed to be worried or upset about something that he couldn't stop thinking about. 

You tried to ignore him, unsure of what to do. You wanted to ask him what was wrong, but you didn't want to pressure him to talk if he wasn't ready or just didn't want to. Maybe he was trying to forget whatever was bothering him and your questions would only remind him of it. But eventually curiosity got the better of you and you decided it didn't hurt to ask.

"Okay, what's going on with you?" you finally spoke up, putting aside your gloves and the earmuffs you had worn to protect yourself from the mandrake's screams once the job was done. "You seem... off today."

"Yeah, sorry about that. I... I just have a lot in my mind." Sirius said, letting out a frustrated sigh. He leaned back against the counter, shoulders slumped in a pose that showcased his mood perfectly. He was staring at the floor, as if lost in thought, and you were suddenly curious as to what was so important to have him in such a state. You'd never seen Sirius so quiet or so serious before in the years you'd known each other.

"Do you want to talk about it?" you offered, giving him the option to use you as a shoulder to cry on, a friendly ear to vent to.

"It's my family, as always." He let out a bitter laugh, lifting his head so he could look you in the eye as he spoke. You could see the pain reflected in his expression and felt the urge to hug him. You knew about his family and how troubled they were. He had never fit in with them and had ended up being kicked out of his home by his own mother. It was a sad story and you had always felt sorry for him.

“I had a fight with my brother last night and I can’t seem to let it go… They're filling his head with those horrible ideas and there's nothing I can do about it. He doesn’t want to listen to me.” 

You knew exactly what he was referring to, you had seen the people Regulus was hanging out with and sadly you shared the same concerns as his brother. Many of your peers in Slytherin were being caught up in dangerous hate speech and you completely understood Sirius' frustration about it. It hadn't yet touched you as closely as it did him - none of your friends shared those kinds of ideas - but you could imagine how painful it was for him to see his brother involved in something so horrible.

"Oh Sirius, I'm sorry." You didn't quite know what to say, there were no words that could ease his sadness or concern. You could only support him at that moment, hoping that your understanding would be enough to make him feel a little better. 

Without even realizing it, your hand slid across the table to rest on Sirius'. It was a desperate attempt on your part to show him that you were there for him, something you did without thinking. Sirius's eyes lingered on your joined hands for a few seconds, staring at them as if he found it hard to believe what he was seeing. It made you feel a little self-conscious and you considered moving your hand, but before you could do so he moved his so that he could intertwine his fingers with yours. This time it was you who looked down at your hands as you felt him give you a light squeeze. It was such an innocent act, something so common, but it still awakened that special tingling inside you. It was the first time you were holding hands and it felt... good, comforting. 

When you looked up you were met with his sweet smile. Sirius didn't need to utter words for you to understand that he was thanking you for your support, it was written all over his face. You had to fight the urge to hug him, thinking it might be too close and personal. You had a strange relationship - you weren't enemies but you weren't technically friends either - so it was hard sometimes to realize when something was too much. 

Then an idea formed in your mind. Images of your special place flashed before your eyes like a movie and you decided it was an appropriate time to show Sirius that he wasn't the only one who had extensive knowledge of the Hogwarts grounds.

"C'mon, I want to show you something." You told him, pulling his hand entwined with yours to guide him out of the greenhouse.

You didn't have to go far to get to your special secret spot, just walk down the hill until you reached the edge of the lake. There was a large tree that provided plenty of shade and between its huge roots was a comfortable hole that you liked to sit in. It was the most beautiful and peaceful place you knew in the whole school. You liked to go there when you felt overwhelmed or stressed, sitting under the shade of the tree and just think for a long time, the world always seemed better after that. You were convinced that there wasn't a single problem that couldn't be solved with a meditation session in your special place.

"Welcome to my special place!" you announced with a smile when you arrived at your destination. "Come, sit here with me." You settled into your usual spot at the foot of the big tree and patted the free space next to you inviting Sirius to join you. He stared at you for a moment, but finally sat down next to you. 

"How did you find this place?" Sirius was amazed at the beauty of the scenery around him. He obviously knew this place existed, but he had never paid attention to how beautiful and peaceful it was. There were no other students laughing and running around, just him, you and nature. 

"You're not the only one with extensive knowledge about the castle, Black." 

"So, what happens here?" He forced himself to look away from the landscape to return his gaze to you only to find that you were staring off into the horizon. The sunlight reflecting off the water of the lake illuminated the whole place in a different, more magical way, especially your profile. It gave you an ethereal aura that took his breath away for a moment. 

"We sit here and we think." You replied without taking your eyes off the birds flying through the trees on the other side of the lake. "I always come here when I'm sad or stressed out. There's something about this place that makes all my problems go away."

You sat in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the scenery, letting the tranquility of nature bring you inner peace. Sirius tried to push the negative thoughts from his mind, concentrating on the birds singing and the sound of the water, hoping that would be enough to make the frustration and anger that was overtaking him disappear. It wasn't working out so well, but he didn't have the heart to tell you that your special magical place wasn't as powerful as you thought it was.

Well, that was until he turned his head so he could look at you. You were completely lost in thought, gazing forward with no idea of the way Sirius was looking at you. You seemed so happy, so relaxed, that he couldn't help but feel a warm feeling spreading inside him. He found comfort in you, in the special sparkle in your eyes, in the way you cared for him despite your shared history. For Sirius, the healing magic was not in where you were, but in you.

"Things are going to get better." You broke the silence, turning to look at him. His eyes were glued to yours and you discovered that the dark patch of sadness that covered his signature cheerful glow had dimmed a bit.

"How do you know?" Sirius' voice was low, almost a whisper that you were able to hear above the noises of nature thanks to the short distance separating you. 

"I have to believe that they will. We all have to." Sirius wasn't so sure about it, he didn't have your blind optimism, but for a moment as he lost himself in the depths of your eyes he found hope. Everything seemed simple as long as you kept your eyes on him. He could face anything if you were by his side to guide his path, to hold his hand and remind him that everything would be alright. He found peace in you, something that both calmed and scared him. He was much more screwed up than he originally thought.

The more time you spent staring into each other's eyes in silence, the more the tension in the air increased. Sirius was suddenly aware of how close he was to you. He could feel the warmth of your body against his side, the touch of your leg against his and the smell of your perfume that assaulted his nose every time he took a breath. He only had to extend his hand a few inches to touch you, or lean in just a little to brush his lips against yours. Those beautiful lips of yours that tempted him since the first time he had laid his eyes on you. The same ones he had fantasized about kissing many times in the past, even when all that came out of them were insults and ironic laughter dedicated to him.

Sirius leaned towards you without even realizing what he was doing, lost in thought, mesmerized by the sight of your lips. He felt your breath against his face, mingling with his, and the touch of your nose against his. And then your lips met in a kiss that took you both by surprise. He captured your upper lip between his, reaching out his hand to grab the back of your head and pull you closer to him. You surrendered to the expert movement of his lips without putting up a fight, letting him guide you as you melted into the kiss.

Multicolored fireworks exploded behind your eyes, the butterflies in your stomach going crazy as you struggled to keep up with Sirius. It wasn't your first kiss, but it was the first time you felt wave after wave of electricity coursing through your body from one. You felt like you were flying, completely lost in the intensity of the moment. It was a special kind of high you never wanted to come down from. Sirius' lips just felt right on yours, caressing you with such passion and delicacy at the same time. It left you breathless and desperate for more. So much more. 

But the kiss was cut short as quickly as it began when Sirius suddenly pulled away from you, leaving you confused and a little stupid.

"I-I'm... I'm sorry, I-" he struggled to come up with an excuse as he realized what he had done, feeling awkward and somewhat embarrassed that he had let himself get carried away by his impulses.

"Nono, it's okay, I..." you tried to intervene as well, fighting the fog that clouded your mind to try to form a coherent sentence.

"You know what? That was practice!" Sirius blurted out without thinking, making you frown.

"Practice for what?"

"J-just f-for the next step of the plan... in case you hadn't made out with anyone in a while." Sirius didn't sound confident in what he was saying and if you were in different circumstances you might have realized that was a lame excuse he'd made up on the spot. But your mind was still a bit affected by the kiss and you couldn't think straight, so you didn't notice.

"Is that what it felt like? That I hadn't made out with anyone in a while or whatever?" You tried to sound casual so as not to let him know how much you cared about his answer. To you that had been the best kiss of your life and it hurt a little to think that it had meant nothing to him. It made sense though, Sirius had a lot of practice and a lot of girls to compare you to. He'd probably had millions of better kisses.

"Well, I'm more of a tongue guy myself." Sirius joked, trying to ease the tension in the air.

"You don't say. I think I felt it poking at my throat." You played along and you both burst out laughing. The sweet melody of Sirius' laughter traveled through the air to your ears, entering your system and filling your insides with joy. All you wanted was to hear him laugh, to make him happy so that he would forget his problems at least for a moment. Everything stopped mattering to you as you watched the characteristic happy glow return to his eyes, concentrating all your efforts on keeping him distracted for as long as possible.

"Are you giving me kissing advice, dove?" he looked at you with a raised eyebrow, as if he couldn't believe the words that had come out of your mouth. No one had ever criticized his kissing technique.

“Yeah, I guess I am.”

“Dove, c’mon.” Sirius said, making a funny face, and you nudged him playfully.

"You need it!" You assured him with a chuckle.

“That’s how people kiss.”

“Yeah in porn maybe.” You said rolling your eyes, exaggerating things to sound more dramatic. "You know what? I'm going to be the one giving you a lesson for once. This is how girls like to be kissed." Sirius looked at you cautiously, but let you guide him into the position you wanted, intrigued by whatever it was you had in mind. You moved too, and soon you found yourselves sitting across from each other. "Close your eyes." you instructed him and he obeyed without question. "Now lean in, slowly. Let the tension build." 

Your eyes were focused on admiring the beauty of his face as Sirius moved closer and closer to you. He was the definition of masculine beauty with the sharp angles on his cheeks and those enticing lips that called out to you. His long hair framed his face perfectly, looking so silky and soft that you couldn't contain the urge to touch it. You brushed aside a couple of rebel locks that fell over his face, delicately tucking them behind his ear before letting your hand slide down to his cheek. You felt him lean a little into your touch and had to bite your lip to avoid kissing him at that moment.

The distance that separated you was shortening with every second. You could feel his breath mingling with yours, all you had to do was lean forward and you would once again be enveloped in the warmth of his body, feeling the soft caresses of his mouth on yours. You took one last look at his lips and prepared to make contact with him. Only it wasn't your lips on his, but your tongue licking his left cheek.

"Oh no you didn't!" Sirius exclaimed with a mixture of surprise and horror, bringing his hand to his face to wipe your saliva off his cheek. You let out a laugh and he couldn't help but laugh along with you. "You are a phenomenal kisser!" He joked and you gave a small nod, accepting his compliment.

“Thank you. That’s how we like it!”

“I’m taking your word for it. You wouldn’t lie to me, would you?”

“Never! Trust me, girls love to be kissed like that.” Sirius shook his head, as if he still couldn't believe what you had done, but he laughed with you. You had taken him by surprise and he had to admit that a part of him was a little disappointed at not feeling your lips on his again, but he couldn't deny that he was having fun.

"Are you feeling a little better?" You asked him when the laughter died down.

"Yeah, a little." He answered honestly. You had really managed to do in a couple of minutes something that even his best friends hadn't been able to do in hours: make him forget. You had an ability to get through to him that no one else had and it was nice to see you using it for good for once —instead of using it to get on his nerves like you used to. 

"Thank you, dove." You could tell by the tone of his voice that Sirius was genuinely grateful to you. Apparently your nonsense had managed to help him a little and that made you happy. It was nice to be able to give him back some of the positive energy he brought to your days since you had started your arrangement.

"Don't mention it." You shrugged, downplaying it. "Just know that I'm always here for you if you ever need to talk. And this place is yours too now if you ever need it." You rested your hand on his again and Sirius felt that tingling under his skin again as his insides filled with that warm feeling at your words of support.

Oh, he was completely screwed.

You couldn't get that kiss out of your mind. Ever since that day at the lake Sirius was all you could think about. You caught yourself looking at him when you thought he didn't see you, remembering that kiss, what you had felt as he held you, the warmth of his body enveloping you and the softness of his lips on yours. You wanted to feel it again, to experience again the sensation of pure ecstasy that took over you the moment your lips collided. His kiss had made you feel alive in a special way. You had never felt anything like it before, an electricity so intense that it coursed through your whole body, awakening every cell inside you with the simplest of touches. It was pure magic, something out of the most perfect romance novel, no one could blame you for wanting to feel it again.

But then you remembered how you had gotten into that situation in the first place. You had come to him for help in getting another boy's attention and that's what Sirius had done all along. All those cute little moments that awakened butterflies in your stomach every time you remembered them weren't real. You were fooling yourself, seeing things that weren't there. He wasn't spending time with you because he loved you, he wasn't interested in you —at least not in that way—, he was just holding up his end of the bargain. Sure, you had improved your relationship considerably since all this had started, but you had to keep in mind that if it wasn't for your proposal you would still be fighting every chance you got.

Sirius wasn't in love with you and you weren't in love with him. You were just confused because you weren't used to getting that kind of attention from a guy —especially not from a guy like Sirius. Your heart belonged to Oliver, it had for the past three years and that wasn't going to change because of a silly kiss that hadn't meant anything anyway. You had to focus on what was important, what you had worked so hard to get: the date with Oliver. Once you finally managed to get it your mind would be able to focus on that and then you'd realize that your feelings for Sirius were just temporary.

So that's exactly what you did. You mustered all your courage, remembering every lesson you'd learned over the past few weeks, and looked for the perfect opportunity to talk to Oliver. The moment presented itself in Potions class. By sheer luck you ended up being paired up to work on a project together and you took advantage of the opportunity to start a conversation with him.

For the first time in three years you were able to form coherent sentences in front of him, alternating between comments about the project you were working on and casual small talk. The nerves and fear that usually overcame you when he was around were gone, allowing your personality to surface. You spent the entire class chatting and laughing as if you were lifelong friends. As it turned out, Oliver was a really nice guy and really easy to talk to when you didn't overthink every single thing you were going to say to him. You thought Sirius would be proud of you if he could see you acting so relaxed and free. 

That's when you realized that he could probably see you since Gryffindor and Slytherin shared a Potions class, so you looked up to find him among the groups of students. Your eyes found him at the back of the room, sitting next to James as they worked on their potion. Your eyes met for a moment and you gave him a victorious smile, a silent way of letting him know that things between you and Oliver were going well. You thought that after all the time he had spent preparing you for this moment he would be happy to know that his efforts had paid off. You expected him to smile back or even give you a thumbs up in support, but he simply looked away and turned his attention back to the brew he was preparing with his friend. 

You frowned, puzzled by his attitude. Was he angry with you? Had you done something to upset him? He couldn't possibly be mad at you because you were talking to Oliver, could he? That was ridiculous! He was probably in a bad mood about something else that had nothing to do with you. It was most likely about his brother, maybe they were fighting again and that's why he was acting strange. You had to stop obsessing about Sirius and focus on what really mattered.

You tried to ignore your concerns about Sirius at least until the class was over, returning your attention to Oliver and the story he was telling you. You worked and laughed for the rest of the lesson, turning in a perfect potion at the end of the hour. And as you gathered your things and prepared to leave the room you realized you had to make your move. It was now or never. So you summoned all your courage and asked Oliver if he'd like to go out with you sometime.

For some reason you fully expected him to refuse. That voice inside your head that loved to overthink everything you did and imagine the most catastrophic and improbable scenarios kept telling you that it was too fast. You had only shared one successful conversation and you were already asking him out on a date. It had been a mistake and you had to take it back immediately! 

But that voice in your mind was muted when Oliver accepted your offer with a smile.

You stood in your place for a moment, watching Oliver leave the room with the rest of your classmates as your brain tried to process what had just happened. You had spent so much time imagining that moment that now it didn't feel real. A part of you thought it was an overly realistic dream that you were going to wake up from at any moment, though the illusion was shattered when your eyes met Sirius' as he left the room. It was only for a second, but it was enough to leave a bitter taste in your mouth. 

Why did his presence affect you so much?

"Ann, you're not going to believe this!" You exclaimed in excitement when you found your friend in the crowd of students walking through the halls to their respective classes. You pushed her to the side to get a little more privacy, waiting for a group of second year students to pass by to give her the big news. "I got the date!" you said, emphasizing the word 'the' so she understood what you meant. 

"With Sirius? I thought you guys were already dating." Your best friend's response took you by surprise. Why would she think you and Sirius were dating?

"What? No! Sirius and I are not dating. Why would you think that?"

"Oh." She murmured, genuinely surprised. "It's just you guys are spending so much time together lately and look so happy all the time that I just assumed you were dating and were keeping it a secret." She shrugged. "Plus there's that one time I found you two at Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop."

“That didn’t mean anything. He was just helping me get a date with Oliver.”

“Oliver? You still like that guy?”

“What’s wrong with him? I thought you liked him.”

“I do! He’s a nice guy, but…” Ann trailed off, like she couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence. You looked at her with a raised eyebrow, crossing your arms over your chest waiting for her to say whatever was on her mind.

"But what?" You pressed her, noticing she wasn't going to speak.

"I just think Sirius it's better for you, that's all." You scrunched up your nose at her words. How could Sirius be better for you when just a couple of weeks ago you weren't able to hold a conversation without fighting like little kids? It was ridiculous, and honestly you were starting to get tired of the universe continuing to insert him in the middle of everything. Oliver was the guy you wanted, not Sirius, was that so hard to understand?

“That’s ridiculous! Plus, Sirius doesn’t even like me like that. We are just now starting to get along, I’m not even sure if he even considers me his friend.”

“You’re joking, right?” Ann looked at you as if she couldn't believe the words coming out of your mouth, something that only added to your confusion. "Have you seen the way he looks at you? That guy is head over heels for you." You let out a laugh that echoed throughout the hallway, but died down when you saw the serious expression on your friend's face. She couldn't be serious, could she? There was no way Sirius had feelings for you.

"That's a good one!" You patted her shoulder, congratulating her as if she had told the funniest joke you'd ever heard.

"I'm being serious, dummy! I've seen you two together and there's no way he doesn't have feelings for you."

"Then you're seeing things!" you exclaimed before turning around and starting to walk to your next class. You no longer wanted to hear what your friend had to say. You had gotten the date you had been dreaming of all this time, why couldn't she just be happy for you? Why did she have to make everything so complicated?

"And do you know what else I think?" She insisted, walking up behind you and raising her voice a little to make sure you heard her. "I think you have feelings for him too but you're too stubborn to admit it."

You decided to ignore her, but her words echoed in your mind for the rest of the day. Could she be right? Could you be in love with Sirius? It sounded ridiculous, something completely impossible. But then you remembered that kiss you had shared by the lake shore. You remembered the tension in the air, the softness of his lips on yours, the way he had held you close to him and the waves of electricity coursing through your body. You weren't sure if you were in love with him, but you couldn't deny that there was a spark between you that was much stronger and intriguing than your relationship with Oliver. Maybe you were too stubborn or too scared to call it for what it was, but it was evident that it was there and apparently everyone could tell. Everyone but the two of you.

You felt like your head was going to explode from so much overthinking and questioning what you were feeling. It was driving you crazy and you weren't even able to come to a conclusion. Every time you were close to finding the answers you were looking for a new voice would pop up in your mind and ruin all your progress with its comments. You were so wrapped up in denial that it was impossible for you to understand how you truly felt.

So you decided to stop worrying about it. If you had learned anything in the last few weeks, it was that everything was so much easier when you turned your brain off for a while, relaxed and let things flow. You had time to figure out your feelings and think about what to do about them. Right now all you had to do was celebrate because your plan had worked. You had gotten that date with Oliver and that was all that mattered.

In the spirit of your new decision you didn't worry about what hidden message could be behind the strange note you got from Sirius asking you to meet him at your special place. You two hadn't spoken in the last few days. The last contact you'd had with him was in Potions class when he practically ignored you. The cryptic message he had left for you inside one of your books made you curious, wondering the reasons behind his interest in meeting you at your special place. However, you tried not to think too much about it, limiting yourself to showing up at the right place and time to hear from his own mouth whatever it was he wanted instead of driving you crazy imagining the worst.

"Hey!" you greeted Sirius awkwardly, feeling a strange tension in the air that took you back to the events of the last time you had been there. He was sitting in the exact same spot as that time, waiting for you to occupy the empty space next to him. "I got your message. Why did you want to meet here?"

"Oh I just wanted to talk to you. We haven't done that in a while." He gave you a smile, but you noticed it wasn't reflected in his eyes. You wondered if maybe that was because the situation with his brother had gotten worse. Maybe that was the reason he wanted to talk to you, after all, you had promised him that you would be there for him when he needed you. 

You took a seat in the empty slot next to him, hoping that the conversation would focus on his family once again. However, the next words out of his mouth took you by surprise. 

"I saw you talking to Oliver the other day." You froze, your brain short-circuiting as you tried to think of how to respond. 

"Y-yeah, I was... I was talking to him." You responded awkwardly. Why was it so weird for you to talk about Oliver with Sirius now? You didn't seem to have a problem with it just a couple of days ago. What had changed? "It went pretty well. I got a date." You smiled, but your smile didn't show in your eyes either.

"That's great, dove! I'm really happy for you." He almost sounded sincere, but you had heard the real joy in his voice too many times in the last few weeks to recognize when he was faking it. His voice was low and quiet, as if he struggled to utter those words. Your friend's voice echoed in your mind and for a moment you wondered if she might be right.

"I have something for you." Sirius' voice snapped you out of your thoughts. He turned for a moment and it was then that you noticed the package resting on one of the large tree roots. "Let's say it's a graduation gift." He added, handing you the package.

You carefully unwrapped the gift, discovering a black piece of fabric inside. But it wasn't just any piece of fabric, when you held it in your hands you realized it was a dress. It was that dress you liked so much but hadn't had the courage to try on when Sirius took you shopping. You froze in place, your eyes traveling from the delicate piece of clothing in your hands to Sirius' face, who was looking at you expectantly.

"I saw the way you were looking at it at the store so I went back and I bought it for you. I don't know why you didn't try it on at the time, but I'm sure it'll look great on you."

You were speechless, your brain unable to put into words how much that small gesture meant to you. He had noticed. He had seen the sparkle in your eyes as you admired that dress in the store. He looked at you when you didn't notice and paid attention to every detail. That thought alone made your heart race. He cared about you, it wasn't a product of your imagination or your heart getting confused. Sirius truly cared for you.

"Sirius, I... You didn't have to..." you struggled to say, trying to find the words to describe what you felt. You didn't know why such a simple gift moved you so much. You supposed it was the principle of the thing, the thought behind it. That dress was a perfect summary of your relationship, a delicate and intricate piece of fabric that you refused to try on out of fear. And just like that dress, you too were afraid to try things out with Sirius. Both were unfamiliar territory for you so you preferred to avoid them rather than face them. 

But Sirius seemed to have a different idea.

"Of course I did! I just knew you would look beautiful in it and I need it for you to have it." Sirius sounded so convinced that for a moment you felt confident, forgetting your fears about the dress. He looked at you with such adoration that there was no way you could feel any different. He gave you all the confidence you needed. Everything was so much easier when Sirius was by your side holding your hand and saying exactly what you needed to hear. He was good for you.

“Maybe you can wear it to your date.”He couldn't hold your gaze when he said that, averting his eyes to the lake that reflected the beautiful orange colors of the sunset in its waters. The idea of wearing that dress in front of anyone but him felt wrong. That outfit was your little secret, your special gift - just like that place was.

It was then that you understood what you had to do. It was time to put denial and fear aside and face reality. You had feelings for Sirius and that wasn't going to change because you forced yourself to be with someone else. It wasn't fair to Oliver or Sirius, and it definitely wasn't fair to you. Even if things didn't turn out the way you hoped, you deserved to explore your feelings for him without fear.

"I don't know. To be honest, I don't know if I want to go out with Oliver anymore."

Sirius returned his gaze to your face, a frown drawn into his expression. "What do you mean? Wasn't that all that you wanted?"

"I used to, yes. But lately I've been thinking about this other guy... he's a real charmer, I can't seem to get him out of my head. It's a tough situation because I used to hate him, but I had the opportunity to get to know him better and I think I'm falling for him." Sirius looked at you with his eyes full of doubt for a moment, refusing to listen to what his heart thought you were saying. But then you smiled at him and he understood your hint.

"I think I know who you're talking about. Is he by any chance the most handsome guy in Gryffindor?" The characteristic cheerful twinkle returned to his eyes as well as a mischievous grin that got a chuckle out of you.

"Maybe." You played dumb. "He's also a huge dork, but I kind of love him for it." This time it was Sirius that let out a chuckle, throwing his head back as his body shook with laughter.

"Well, then you're in luck because this handsome dork is also in love with you."

You shared a meaningful look that was stronger than anything you could say to each other at that moment. And then, just like that other day at the lake, Sirius leaned toward you and pressed his lips to yours. It was a much longer kiss than the first one you shared, one that you both could enjoy in the moment given that it wasn't the product of an impulsive decision. You both wanted it, you longed for it from the moment you parted after your first kiss. 

Sirius' hands framed your face, pulling you closer to him. He needed to feel you against his body, to feel your warmth enveloping him. He had missed the feel of your lips on his, caressing his mouth so delicately. He had spent every second since that kiss cursing himself, fearing that he might never feel you so close to him again. His world had crumbled when he saw you talking to Oliver in Potions class, thinking he had pushed the girl he liked into the arms of another guy. He hated to think that anyone but him could have the chance to caress your lips. They were made just for him to kiss, no one else could touch them.

But now that he had you back in his arms all his concerns disappeared, fading away thanks to the intoxicating mixture of your perfume and the sensation of your lips on his, moving so gracefully together that he couldn't help but think that you were meant to be together.

"Since we're being honest, I have a confession to make." Sirius spoke as you broke apart, struggling to catch his breath. "I never needed help with Herbology, I just needed an excuse to spend more time with you."

"What?" you exclaimed in surprise. You didn't see that one coming. "Then whose plant was that?"

"It was Peter's. He sucks at Herbology." Sirius admitted and you let out a chuckle as you shook your head, unable to believe what you were hearing. 

But your laughter died down as a realization hit you. "Wait a minute. You liked me before all this?" Sirius just nodded, as if such a revelation wasn't important.. "So why were you being such a jerk to me?"

"It was fun, it's very easy to get on your nerves." He shrugged. "Plus, you look adorable when you're angry."

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 8/6/2024

people mad at a video game for being woke, i'm mad at it for not being woke enough. so it goes.

also i wrote a yeehawgust fic

listening

another addition to the "SOMEBODY COME FUCK THIS (GAY)" playlist, thank u charli xcx and billie eilish

-

reading

im still really annoyed with Retraction Watch for platforming a terf last year and then not doing any sort of sockpuppet damage control in the comments. since they got acquired by crossref they've done way less guest editorials. not to be all "stick to sports!" but stick to sports, retraction watch.

they did introduce me to this substack series i will be following with great interest about the rise and fall of hindawi. wiley acquired a paper mill a few years back, bc they seemingly did zero diligence, and then blithely ignored the problem for two years before being forced to do the single largest retraction of papers in scientific publishing history, somewhere above ten thousand articles because it is STILL ONGOING.

i do love following various retractions bc i like seeing what finally made someone go "wait a minute", and, as i have just written in a cover letter, "I studied astronomy and have held several data jobs because I’m fascinated with how and why systems work and fail..."

-

watching

my best friend has decided while i'm at her home in the evenings eating her food and bothering her children (for my mental health, it is very important i am fed tiny bits of mushed up banana by hand by her one-year-old), our new project is watching all the xmen movies. i have no particular desire to do this or special affinity for the xmen, and i would like to keep eating very good texmex and bothering her children (for my mental health, it is very important i play hot wheels with the five-year-old). this sounds so super bitchy of me but it's hard to convey that these are essentially on for background noise.

saw the first two. the two things i know about them are that hugh jackman is in them and they're at the statue of liberty in one

-

playing

an ideologically baffling little environmental game free in the epic store this week, LumberJack. this is on PC and Switch for $13, which is far more money than the playtime anyone can get out of this game. tiny tiny tiny little Spain-headquartered studio without an active website, it looks like one guy hired out to make this and two more games and then went back to single-dev projects. i can respect that!

steam reviewers are mad at this game for being woke, and i'm mad at it for being woke in a very strange way. your one mechanic, as a bear, is swinging a big axe to remove cars and trailer offices and portapotties and various garbage from the landscape.

i wish the movement and look controls are inverted, and i wish they weren't, or at least had an option to make them normal. i know Why this isn't a mobile game (can't monetize something with twoish hours of gameplay and twenty levels) but it's a very straightforward and simple game that would translate very well to mobile. much like donut county.

now for being picky about the political mindset of the developers: as much fun as it is to be a bear swinging an axe around, lumberjacks are not the people i associate with wild preservation movements.

saving the land and turning it back into pristine and perfect land for wild animals in this game looks like erasing every hint of human activity from a site and turning it into sheer recreational use. many levels are heavily polluted, but some can definitely be read as recycling centers. im confused by the erasing every hint of humans in early levels, and then this level where you break down a radio station, slap the host with your axe, and she turns into a park ranger who starts gardening and taking care of chickens?

i don't think that removing all the traces of people from the landscape will magically fix everything, nor do i think simply being in unspoiled wilderness will magically fix me.

there's a golfing level where you whack bombs into various small buildings. i think golfing to save the environment is a strange choice to make for designing a game.

i also briefly thought this bird in every level was an extinct ivory-billed woodpecker, which was a little alarming bc there are some real nutjobs out there with very strong beliefs about this bird and government overreach and how much the government is lying to you about the extinctness of various animals.

i stopped playing about halfway through bc i was not having fun and found the underlying environmental message a little confused. they've managed to sell at least 10k units which is...not very good. i am not surprised this is free on epic, and i wonder what their payout for that was. would not be surprised if they negotiated a payment to their nonprofit partner ecologi as part of that.

-

making

yeehawgust fill! i have another bitchy blond babygirl!

what the fuck is the prisoner? cult 60s british spy tv. with all the surreality and anxieties about the cold war and midcentury psychological horror you could possibly want

He’d been drugged enough times to recognize the splitting migraine rapidly galloping down his neurons. “Where am I?” He fought down the taste of bile (ketamine? xylazine, by the aftertaste) and the rising panic. Oddly enough, the migraine was always worse with veterinary sedatives. One would think a mind would adapt to nearly three hundred years of irregular drugging and constant experiments. One’s body had adapted and ghoulified, but in equally unhelpful ways. The tycoon flickered, approximating an appraising blink. “This meeting has been a long time coming, hasn't it? You've come a long ways, literally and, I suspect, figuratively as well. You’re in the Free Economic Zone of New Vegas.” They’d pretended the prisons were so many different places: across the Continent, in various parts of London, up and down and all around the East Coast of these wretched States. Rarely this far west, aside from the awful escapade in the faux pre-War Western town. “What do you want?” He managed to swing his ankles off the saddle (also pre-War? Heavily used. It certainly wasn’t his, the equestrian event had always been his worst event in the pentathalon) and jolted what felt like every half-dead nerve in his half-dead body.

[klainesecretsanta2024]

Information and guidelines (including deadlines) for the Klaine Secret Santa Gift Exchange 2024 are under the cut.

Don't forget to follow us!

1) We have one very strict rule: HAVE FUN!!!!! ❤️

Enjoy this event, because that's the point! To make each other happy with a nice surprise and to make ourselves happy for being able to do that. We want you to enjoy the process itself. If you have any trouble with this, tell us and we'll try to help you and make it easier for you.

2) What type of gift can you participate with?

Fanfiction (drabble, one shot, multi-chaptered fic), drawing/painting (digital or traditional), 2in1 for superheros: comics, animation, gifset, scrapbook style montage, photo or video edit... Tell us, if you have any other idea!

For fic, I'd like to keep a minimum word counts which is 1k, HOWEVER you can participate with shorter drabbles too, if that works better for you. But in this case please write more of them, like short chapters (that not necessarily related to each other) to reach 1k.

For the others, there are no requirements, except to be creative! Which is never a problem in this fandom... ;)

3) We try to give you enough time to create your gift to make this event as stress-free as possible. That means you'll have 7-10 weeks to do this (it's your choice, depends on when you wish to post your gift in December). That's why we're starting this so early.

DEADLINES:

Signups: September 28th -  October 12th Giftee assignments: October 14th Creating period in Santa's workshop: October 14th - Dec 23th Posting period: December 1-24th

4) Everyone is welcome to joins us in any way. But if you participate, please don't forget that you'll be someone's Secret Santa this year. Which means that someone, who takes the time and effort to make a gift for someone else is expecting a gift of their own - from you. 

5.) It's okay to be a little late. It's especially okay not to post a whole multi-chaptered fic until Christmas. However, please try to post something, anything until dec 24th - even if it's "just" the first short chapter of a multi-chaptered fic. Please don't feel it's not enough, it's perfect, you just started to post a long fic, are you kidding?? Your giftee will love you for it! But please, also make sure you finish what you started, and do that within a reasonable time.

6) If you realize that you probably won't be able to post anything in time, not even one short chapter (but you are determined to do it soon): don't freak out! Just please, please communicate! Let us know and send an anonymous message to your person, let them know their gift is running a little late. Don't worry, no one will be mad at you, I promise. :) Life happens!

7) Which brings us to a very important part: If you decided to participate, please take it seriously and don't forget about it!! If you realize that you won't be able to fulfill what you've committed to, PLEASE CONTACT US ASAP because it means that we have to find a very generous new Santa for your giftee in time!!!!

8) Will we give you prompts? 

Kind of... Yes and no. We'll definitely have some (probably open) questions for every one of you about what you like, so you'll have some idea to choose from and work with - if you want to. Please look at this as an option because we do this to HELP YOU, not to sabotage your creative energy!!! :) It can make your gift more personal, but you don't have to use any of it if you have trouble with it. Again, it's an option and your giftee will know that - some people need inspiration, some people don't.

Also, if you have more questions, you can always tell us and we'll try to get more information from your giftee's interests for you.

9) No-nos:

We respect everyone's feelings and interests but please, please do the same and in your prompts try to avoid of the really dark topics, like your favorite topic EVER is <3 major character death <3 (to use a valid example). This might make your Secret Santa very anxious about how to please you. It's Christmas time, regardless of the theme of your gift, and most of us love to keep our love ones alive, well... any time of the year, really. ;) So please consider to sugar coat your feelings about this, for example, say you like angst, or that you can handle heavy topics. (So your Santa have a choice but probably won't feel like they have to kill someone for Christmas to make you happy. ;) ) //Yes, I'm traumatized, sorry about this.//

This also applies to gifts: be creative but please, avoid the very divisive topics (you know what those are), so everyone can enjoy your gift in this fandom equally.

!! AI generated art and fic are not allowed !!

10) A tip: This event is not about the gift only. Your giftee will always be happy to know that their secret Santa is thinking about them. A nice anonymous message in the question box or through us, like "I'm making your present, I hope you'll love it" or just "I'll be there soon ;) - your Santa" can put a HUGE smile on anyone's face! Please make sure you stay anonymous, though!!!!

11) Keep your giftee in secret. This is a secret mission.

12) Tags to use and follow: #klainesecretsanta2024 and #kss2024  - we'll track both.

13) Do you have any questions or suggestions? Our ask box is always open!

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

The Problem With The Southern Raiders

Brynn_Sasha191 asked: And what do you have to say about TSR episode as a whole? And how ZK shippers constantly refer and think of it as 'the Zutara episode'.

***

The episode itself is alright. Katara and Zuko looked cool as hell in their ninja outfits, sneaking around and being menaces. The scene of Katara choosing to bloodbend (and her horror after) were shocking. The moral of the episode ("Unnecessary violence is never the answer, BUT that doesn't mean people who wronged you are entitled to your forgiveness") is pretty good. Zuko looked like he gained some genuine understanding for Katara's situation, as well as respect for her mom, when he was told about how Kya's death happened. Plus the Sukka bit, and Zuko's reaction to it, was one of the funniest moments in the show.

The only thing that REALLY bothers me about it how it is the ONE time the show tried to sweep Zuko's mistakes under the rug. Katara was not mad at him because she was wrongfully "projecting" her grief over her mom, and her anger at the killer, on poor, innocent Zuzu.

She was mad because this entitled prince that had threatened the people of her village, tried to use her mom's necklace to blackmail her and then threatened to burn it, had been chasing her group all around the world, endangering them several times, to kidnap her best friend managed to convince her for five minutes that maybe there was some humanity to him - and then immediately helped his sister essentially win the war for the Fire Nation, and killing Aang. Then after Katara saved him, the same goddamn prince sent an assassin after them.

It doesn't matter that he was never fully evil, that he had understandable reasons to do what he did, that truly changed sides, and that he doesn't intend to ever do something like that again. Katara does NOT have to forgive him, and she sure as hell does not owe him her friendship, and it's not cool how the episode keeps allowing Zuko to act all entitled, without ever calling him out for it - and worse, activelly saying KATARA is the one in the wrong.

Plus, it's kinda fucked up that it's never acknowledged how Zuko, the guy who was disfigured and banished for wanting the soldiers of the Fire Nation to be treated fairly and with any humanity, and saw harming them for daring to OBEY ORDERS as an absolute betrayal, was willing to kill one of these guys for the crime of... following the Fire Lord's orders - which Zuko had also been doing mere WEEKS before.

Don't get me wrong, I can understand Katara being out for blood and not giving a shit about "well, if he didn't obey, he'd be traitor" when what he did traumatized her for life and made her grow up without her mom, but Zuko just seemed a bit hypocritical, and like he was betraying his beliefs there. It just doesn't make sense in my head that he wouldn't be thinking "What that guy did was fucked up, but I nearly got all of my current allies killed just a month ago because they were still enemies and it'd make sure my dad would not disfigure/banish me again or even kill me, it'd not be right of me to act like I can judge this guy"

But this one doesn't bother me as much since the whole point of that episode was for Zuko to unlearn all the awful "lessons" his father taught him by fully normalizing violence to him - and considering the finale showed us he was feeling sorry for Azula (hell, he was already giving off Concerned Big Brother vibes on the opening scene of TSR)  and was willing to spare even Ozai, I think it's safe to say he will never make that kind of mistake again (the comics are not canon, I don't care what anyone says).

So yeah, it's a deeply flawed, but entertaining episode that MOSTLY works - but it's NOT the "zutara" episode, not just because there's no romance there, but also because, if anything, 99% of it just shows how these two have the potential to bring out the absolute worst in each other, and that, at least until he genuinely started bonding with her during their mission) Zuko had no problem with playing the victim whenever Katara dared to be mad at him for doing horrible things that hurt her, the people she cared about, and innocents in general.

Thank God they grew as people AND have other friends that can pull them out of destructive spirals.

[bats-and-birds-24]

Okay, so I know that we're all mad at Gege, and for good reason. But I don't agree with the fandom that he's wasting good characters by killing them off.

JJK is an allegory for the terrible pressure placed on people to be the best, or to be useful, which makes people stop seeing them as a fellow humans. And the characters in the show represent that.

For example, Gojo is labelled as the strongest, and as such, no one sees him as a person other than Geto. They always either put him on a pedestal or find him to be a nuisance that they deal with because he's useful to jujutsu society, such as the jujutsu society elders. Even in death his body is used as a tool.

In Geto's case, the honor of being powerful enough to save humanity from curses was dashed because he saw how the non-sorcerers they were trying to save treated them, in spite of the sorcerers facing heavy casualties. Jujutsu society didn't even send someone to check up on him, and he just spirals after the failed mission. After realising that this society didn't care about him, he tries to create a society that does care about sorcerers, at the cost of normal people, the same people who didn't care about him.

Yuta was sentenced to death because of the dangerous curse that was attached to him. Jujutsu society dehumanized him because of factors that he cannot control, same with Yuji.

Gojo sees this and realized that he can't let them be dehumanized like Geto was, gotten rid of if they were deemed pests or used until they were broken if they were deemed useful.

Yuta himself adopts this view in this chapter, risking his life so that they can defeat Sukuna. Yuji also adopts this mentality when he declares himself a cog in the machine that kills curses.

Hakari, Maki, and Noritoshi, are all an exception to this rule, as Hakari refused to let himself be merely a tool and have things decided for him. He enjoys passion and passionate people, while jujutsu society may admire his cursed technique, they don't respect him as a person. Maki and Noritoshi only achieved their full ability after cutting ties with their respective clans.

The Zenins viewed Maki as useless as she was both a woman and had no Cursed Energy. While the Kamo clan only viewed Noritoshi as useful for being male and inheriting a powerful cursed technique.

Megumi had a lot of potential with the ten shadows technique but when he gave up, the elders would have had him executed in order to kill Sukuna.

Sukuna himself stands in opposition to all of this, seeing everyone as equally worthless in a world where the strong have every right to make the weak suffer. In this sense, him and jujutsu society share the common view that only strength matters.

Yuji and the rest of Gojo's students stand in contrast to both Sukuna and jjk society here. They spend more time trying to save Megumi, because they see him as their friend. They spend more time protecting the people close to them not out of some sense of duty or usefulness, but because they genuinely care about each other.

Yuta takes Gojo's body not out of a sense of duty to kill Sukuna, but because he cares about Gojo and doesn't want his sacrifice to be in vain. Gojo died not by doing his duty, but by trying to care for his students.

Gege is saying that following orders and doing your duty until you burn yourself out isn't good, and neither is making yourself out to be better than everyone else because you think that the world revolves around the logic of "survival of the fittest". Which is Sukuna's line of thinking.

I think the story is going to end with only Yuji surviving and him beating Sukuna not because he's just a cog in jujutsu society, but because he's Yuji and he loves his friends and family.

The curse of "die surrounded by the people you love" from his grandfather is reversed as Yuji learns to live for the people he loved.

He's saying that people work best together, but not when they are forced to for some nebulous idea of duty or justice, but because of simply caring about each other.

That's why Gege made us care about these characters in the first place, so that we can fully understand the injustice that these characters are going through.

[godsofhumanity]

Do you want to make Hades headcanons

okie i was thinking a bit about Hades in his youth and then Hades much later in life, and i actually thought up some new hc's for him. also i just realised i don't have a hc post for just Hades alone so hee hee this is a good opportunity to talk about him :)

this ended up being a really long post i'm sorry hahahahahaha

Hades is technically the first-born son of Kronos and Rhea, but because Zeus acts like he's the oldest, everyone sort of just accepts it, Hades included.

but i think, sometimes, Hades does have a bit of friction with Zeus. while Poseidon, for example, is more willing to just sit down and do whatever Zeus says, i think Hades might have more critical-thinking skills and he's not so willing to blindly follow Zeus.

and i actually think Zeus loves this aspect of Hades. it's important for Zeus that he can trust his siblings, that the rulers of the other domains are smart and pro-active.

personality wise, i think the idea of Hades as a bit dark and brooding just fits so well with him. i know everybody describes him like that, but it just works!

a lot like my earlier hc's for Hestia and how she's a bit quiet and always mindful of history repeating itself with how Kronos became insane and terrible, i think Hades is also always on the look for these signs in all of his siblings and himself. there's a fear that that madness is hereditary.

i don't think Hades is much of a comedian. he doesn't usually laugh or even chuckle,,, he just smiles a bit. people who have been known to appeal to his sense of humour include Zeus, Thanatos, and, of course, Persephone later on.

anyhow. after being freed from Kronos' stomach, i think that Hades was very guarded and alert. he had natural aptitude as a leader and Zeus knew that.

one myth is that the brothers rolled dice to designate the domains, but i like the idea that the domain chooses the god, not the other way, and so, they never actually cast lots-- it just happened that Hades was meant for the Underworld.

secondly, i think that Zeus wanted someone to keep an eye on the prisons in Tartarus. he needed someone strong, someone smart to watch out for Ouranos (in case he made a comeback), the Titans, and most of all, Kronos.

i like the Orphic version where Nyx keeps Kronos as her oracle, because i think that that is a true punishment for Kronos and it would've been hell for him. but i have a hc that Nyx only agrees to do this so long as Zeus assigns someone to rule in the Underworld and watch over these prisoners. because Nyx isn't a babysitter, and she has no interest in watching Kronos everyday.

Zeus knows that Hestia has a role in guarding the hearth, Demeter needs to be above the earth tending to the harvest, Poseidon doesn't have the brains to watch the Underworld and is also a sea god, and Hera, at this time, doesn't show any indication that she would be willing to perform such an important duty. but when Zeus presents the idea of someone ruling the Underworld to Hades, i think Hades is like, "yeah ok. it needs to be done."

i have a hc that Nyx tests Hades to make sure he's a good fit. to make sure that the Underworld will respond to him and respect him as its King. so she just sorta drops him in the centre and tells him to make it out of there on his own.

now, at this point, the Underworld is untamed. Nyx's kids have stayed only in a small part of the Underworld. but there are terrifying creatures roaming free all throughout.... so it's dangerous. it's not a nice place.

but, like i said, the domain chooses the god. so i think, while Hades is stuck there, he learns to move the Earth to his will, to communicate with the spirits. to control the creatures. and he makes it to the surface, passing Nyx's test, and earns the right to become King. i don't think any other god goes through a test like that because most of the other domains have already been ruled... e.g., the sea by Oceanus and Nereus, the sky by Ouranos, the earth by Gaia... but the Underworld? Tartarus has never been active. it's completely wild and untamed. there's never been a King down there. so for Hades, it's really a fresh start.

i think at first, Hades really only becomes King because he hates Kronos and wants to ensure he'll never escape. but over time, especially as Zeus creates newer versions of mortals with shorter lifespans, and the Underworld's population increases with incoming souls, Hades begins to actually enjoy it. he's always liked the quiet. he loves the little bioluminescent flowers. the sounds of the rivers rushing. and he hears all sorts of stories from the spirits who come his way....... stories from children, from young lovers, the elderly. kings, thieves, heroes, murderers, physicians, pottery makers. it really is quite a pleasant place when you get used to it.

now. we can't talk about Hades w/o talking about Persephone. so i'll leave my hades x persephone hc's here. and, assuming that you've read those, i'll continue by saying that i don't really think that the guilt of kidnapping Persephone ever truly leaves Hades. especially because Demeter is forever resentful of him, and their relationship is sort of damaged in a way that can't truly be fixed. Hades knows this, and i think he never resents Demeter the way she resents him, because she's his sister, and he does love her, and he sympathises with her pain. that's why i think Hades, who usually doesn't care too much about the affairs of Olympus, does keep an eye out for Demeter.

my hc list is too long and i'm approaching the word limit for text boxes. so quick section break hee hee. and now we continue with hc's about Hades later in life:

i want to talk about Demeter x Iasion for a second because they're important to my Hades hc.

i like the versions where Iasion isn't a son of Zeus, and i sort of imagine him to be just this unimportant, simple farm boy. not a prince, not a hero, just a guy who milks cows and tends to the crops.

Demeter is a goddess who, canonically, has relationships with Zeus and Poseidon, and neither of these relationships really end all that well. i've never really thought too much about them because they're just too sad and depressing, but i think that Demeter's history of being taken advantage of by the gods of Olympus is the reason for her keeping Persephone away from Olympus, and the reason for her extreme rage when Hades defies her.

i also think this is why Iasion has to be just a simple mortal. someone unconnected to Zeus, a god who has brought Demeter a lot of pain and betrayal, and Olympus in general. curiously, this is the exact reason that Zeus hates Iasion and is jealous of him. because Zeus thinks Demeter is worthy of more; a proper god, maybe a god of his own blood. if Demeter wants a husband, he should be a noble hero, not just Some Guy. anyways. so, as the story goes, Zeus kills Iasion out of jealousy.

now, Hades comes in because he's the god of the Underworld, and Iasion's mortal soul should enter Hades' domain. but i LOVE the idea that, through events i shall not describe here because we're talking about Hades, not Demeter!, somehow or the other, Iasion becomes an Immortal, and Hades realises that Iasion's shade doesn't pass through the Underworld. it comes through temporarily, and then fades, because Iasion been turned into a god by Demeter.

I think Hades knows that Zeus will be even more furious with Iasion because of this, and could try to destroy Iasion in his immortal form, but i have this image in my head of Demeter cradling Iasion's bleeding body, while Hades stands between her and a fuming Zeus, and Hades STANDS UP for Demeter. he defends her, and he tells Zeus to let it go. to allow Iasion to ascend to godhood and be with Demeter. and Zeus complies, begrudgingly.

this is important to me because, as the King of the Underworld, Hades is entitled to his share of subjects. Iasion should remain with Hades. but Hades lets him go anyhow because i think he wants to show Demeter that he does care for her. she's still his sister. and even though Demeter will never forgive Hades, she does appreciate it. she knows what it means.

secondly, i think, while Iasion is recovering from being struck by Zeus' lightning, i think Hades coerces Asclepius into tending to Iasion... ((this is after Hades gets Asclepius killed because he was resurrecting people with his special medical powers))

obviously Asclepius indulges Hades because he's terrified of him, given their history, and i think this too is appreciated by Demeter. Hades uses all of his power to ensure that both Demeter and Iasion are protected from Zeus' wrath... and so Iasion joins Demeter in her fields forevermore, and Zeus just has to deal with it <33

fin.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Oh no was the spin-off bad or just mediocre? Is there anything you particularly liked or disliked about it?

god okay let's get into the good, the bad, and the ???? of it all. hiding it entirely under a cut because spoilers ahoy.

the :)

I have reservations about the Riddler as a full protagonist that I'll articulate below, but I can't really fault any of the writing re: Eddie's dialogue at all. the characterization of the Riddler as an insufferably cocky and nosy motormouth works really well, and Hasan Minhaj seems like he's having a blast with the expanded role.

I also like ESCAPE ARTIST PICKPOCKET RIDDLER recognition!!!

also hey even though they didn't follow up on some of the very promising tidbits re: Eddie's potentially deteriorating mental state dropped in Unburied, I like that it was made clear that there are physical components to his riddle compulsion, namely mentioning that his chest was getting tighter. it adds an interesting dimension to his whole schtick!

having listed all these fun traits that I enjoy, I also respect that the story doesn't feel the need to like... soften Eddie in order to make him a more likeable protagonist. oh haha the funny little asshole man? yeah he killed people. he kills a guy literally in the course of the story after proclaiming in the very first episode that he's mostly non-violent. and he's 100% chill about it because fuck that guy! he doesn't matter, he's in the way of the riddle! and the whole ending with Nadira is... oofah doofah, that's crazy. that's crazy crazy. and it's pretty tasty!

I LOOOOOVE appearances from minor villains!!! bro we got THE FUCKING TALLY MAN in this!!! also hey when I wrote that absurdly long post-Unburied fic I CORRECTLY predicted Croc, Sportsmaster, and the fucking Condiment King someone. I don't know. pay me or kiss me on the mouth for that or something.

I wish there was more Barbara, of course, but I really like what we did get of her! I like that we've kind of skipped over any need for her to have a Batgirl era and just got straight to the good stuff of being almost Oracle. I love to see her exactly where she belongs: flagrantly committing cybercrime to save lives because she can.

also the sound design is still good, and I really like the new music for the opening and Azrael's motif

also speaking of Azrael I'm going to say ONE nice thing about how he was written which is that I DO think it's interesting that they directly pointed out that the concept of Azrael as an angel of death is actually much more prominent in Islam than Christianity while also making in unambiguous that the Nygmas are a Muslim family. it adds a little bit of intrigue to the connection between Nadira and JP, not nearly enough to actually redeem Nadira as a big bad in my eyes (see below) but it is interesting!

also lastly Eddie is flirting so hard with Bruce AND Barbara I love you problematic awful bisexual representation. AND Killer Croc wants to fuck him? madness.

the :/

I alluded to this earlier, but I don't know if I love Eddie promoted to the POV protagonist! it's a big departure from Unburied, not just in terms of who's the main character but also in terms of limiting the scope of the story. giving Bruce and Barbara's alternating perspectives in Unburied was brilliant for building up the mystery and creating suspense in the story, and when the story came together to focus fully on Bruce as Batman it felt organically earned.

and also on a more Eddie-centric note I just! think he works better as a supporting character for other people to bounce off of, rather than being a lead in his own right!

I'm putting this in :/ instead of :( because it's more of a matter of personal taste than anything but godddddd I wanted more Barbara :/ I love her :/ where is she :/ I'm mostly mad because I wanted a spinoff of her and Eddie solving crimes while he crashes in her couch and does petty crime but godddddd god god god I want her back so bad I love her more than Eddie and Bruce combined

while I like the emotional beats of the resolution with Nadira I don't... like her as a character or a storytelling device. like I'm sorry but I don't really care about the Riddler's family drama! especially not when it's as heavy-handed as "my sister told me riddles to distract me from our parents fighting." very reminiscent of the backstory where Leonard and Lisa Snart would hide out in an ice cream truck or whatever, please stop trying to make psychology this painfully clear cut.

I also didn't really need an origin story but I do like that it's kind of an updated version of his first BTAS episode!

I can't decide if Jean Paul unceremoniously killing off Flass is really funny or sucks shit. kind of both but it does veer towards the latter, I was really hoping that if they're going to keep making more of this podcast we would at least get to see Babs get an arc where she investigates Flass and gets justice for her dad on her own terms. but then again. it is pretty funny.

also god this isn't REALLY about the show but I have to say this. the Riddler a.) getting #calledout by Azrael for bearing false witness and b.) ESPECIALLY him trying to dunk on his sister by implying she should marry a white guy are SO FUNNY given the timing of the minor scandal re: Hasan Minhaj maybe just straight up making things up entirely in his comedy and SPECIFICALLY getting that poor woman doxxed by claiming she dumped him for racist reasons. I'M JUST SAYING. (editor's note: since absolved of all wrongdoing and the woman who wrote that piece is genuinely unhinged, but the timing was still BANANAS.)

the :(

I'm just gonna say it, man: I'm not into Colman Domingo's Bruce/Batman performance at all. I don't know what happened behind the scenes to precipitate Winston Duke leaving the role, but god fuck I'm in mourning. Duke is genuinely one of my favorite portrayals of Bruce ever for his distinctive Batman voice and how much expressiveness, vulnerability, and warmth he brings to the character, and while I wouldn't want his replacement to try and mimic that performance exactly (impossible!) it seems like Domingo just... wasn't even given the memo? this is a much flatter Bruce, and I simply cannot love him.

re: my complaints about Nadira above, her character is just handled in a really underwhelming way. having Eddie repeatedly call her "sis" is stumbling straight into the one of the worst of all lazy exposition techniques, especially since Bruce works his way to that exact revelation, like would it have killed anyone to just... let us wonder about the connection a *little* longer? also, again, those flashbacks are ARTLESS. in Unburied there's framing and context for all of the ways the past blends into the present, whether it's Strange's recordings or the story taking place inside Bruce's own meddled memories. it really feels like they're just hurling backstory at us with a catapult in this one.

the ultimate big bad reveal is... ugh. UGH. Unburied was a really cool nesting doll of a minor Batman villain being manipulated by a more well-known villain being manipulated by an A-list villain with a cool and unique spin on her backstory... Secrets in the Dark has an absolutely WASTED member of the Batfamily used as a killer of the week, controlled by a minor dirty cop and a complete OC who doesn't get much screentime at all. cool!

also hey listen. as soon as they start going "hmm... I don't know this is just too big for Flass... SOMEONE else must be helping him..." it's like. I don't know, man. do you think it's possibly the only new character introduced in the series who we know was just elected to a government position? do you think maybe that's who it could be?

also hey man speaking of which they just fucking. they just used Jean Paul as a random deranged serial killer and then the fucking Riddler managed to convince him to off himself. fucking. disrespectful. this feels like that episode of Arrow (sorry to cite Arrow in 2023, I know) when Helena's just like. an antagonist of the week for Oliver to fight. disrespectful!!!!

"Makenzie I thought you didn't even like Jean Paul why does it matter" I'M COMING AROUND ON HIM

overall the plot just feels way more hectic and unpolished than Unburied and it's Unfortunate!

also hey do you remember at the end of Unburied where Bruce just casually blows the lid open on Eddie being afraid that he's like. devolving and actively losing his grip on his own brain and it's like extra bad and scary because he has no idea whether it really means anything when he passes psych evals, etc? really cool how we never really brought that up again

where was Ace :( :( :( my good boy :( :( :(