#m: team sparrow ben

[scarlet-bee]

Why you should vote for Sparrow Ben in the Spiteful Bitches bracket

[Plain text: Why you should vote for Sparrow Ben in the Spiteful Bitches bracket. End plain text.]

A masterpost of reasons why he is the most spiteful bitch of all. I tried to mostly stick to that theme, but I also included a few funny moments, and a bit of explanation of the character so you can understand him better if you don't watch the show.

Warning: Major spoilers for The Umbrella Academy season 3!

[ID: Sparrow Ben Hargreeves, from "The Umbrella Academy." He is facing away from the viewer, shirtless. The word "asshole" is written on his back, in all caps. His right arm is up in the air, as he holds up his middle finger. End ID.]

Sparrow Ben propaganda tag

Vote here

@spitefulbitches

He's an alternate timeline version of the Umbrellas' dead brother, who was also named Ben. Umbrella Ben was beloved by his siblings and the fandom, often described as the kindest of the Umbrellas. After a heartbreaking scene in which his ghost disappears for good, the Umbrellas end up in a new timeline, and come face to face with Sparrow Ben. Their beloved dead brother is now alive... but he's not the same Ben, he doesn't know them, and he's also a huge dick now.

A bitch since his literal first moment onscreen; his very first line in the series is "Dad? Who the hell are these assholes?"

He had this emo hairstyle in his first appearance (the s2 cliffhanger finale). It was then retconned to a spikier hairstyle in s3 (and both of them are so stupid, god bless).

[ID: Sparrow Ben in the season 2 finale. He has an "emo" hairstyle, with bangs hanging over one side of his face. He has a slightly confused expression. End ID.]

Extremely uptight, irritable, and hostile. Always angry, annoyed, or scheming. He will insult or even physically hurt someone (even his own siblings) with little to no provocation. He's vicious, but so over-the-top it's almost comical.

He used to be Number One (AKA the leader) of his superhero team, the Sparrows. For a currently unknown reason, he was demoted to Number Two, and he has been bitter about it ever since.

Fist-fought a 13-year-old with no hesitation. Five, the kid, is actually a 58-year-old man stuck in a 13-year-old body, but Ben didn't know that. He also didn't know at the time that Five had powers. As far as Ben knew, Five was just a normal 13-year-old. He had 5 adults and 1 kid to choose from when the fight broke out, and he immediately went for the kid. He punches said kid multiple times, wraps his arms around his neck, and attempts to use his power on him (eldritch tentacles that emerge from his chest).

Kidnapped The Umbrellas' Number One (Luther) when the Sparrows' Number One (Marcus) disappeared, without even knowing for certain that the Umbrellas were the ones who took him (they weren't).

When Luther asked where Marcus was, Ben reacted by stabbing a fucking knife into the table they were eating at, and saying "That's what we'd like to know."

Decided that Marcus' disappearance was his chance to take his place as leader again. He spoke like it was a burden he had to bear, but it was clearly what he wanted.

When his sister/teammate Fei brought up his demotion from leader, he grabbed one of her crows, crushing it with his hand. Due to Fei's connection with her crows, she felt the pain as well.

Upon finding out that the Umbrellas were possibly linked to Marcus' disappearance, Ben decided to attack them without finding out the full story. He commanded his brother Christopher to use his debilitating electricity on them, then commanded the rest of his siblings to kill them.

Slapped Fei in the face for saying he was a shitty leader, then told her that she was the real problem.

Fei is right by the way. He tends to act impulsively and irrationally, without thinking his plans through. He doesn't care about the team, he just wants to be the one calling the shots.

In a flashback, he took a training session way too damn seriously. Once he had his sister Jayme restrained with his tentacles, he threatened her by saying "Either tap out or pass out, it's your choice." *leans in* "Hey, it's your life." He then proceeded to tighten his grip on her, smiling sadistically as he hurt her, despite the others' protests.

Rage quit and stormed out of the room when Jayme managed to escape and win the match.

Witnessing a relationship-ruining argument between two siblings, he sat down with a giant jar of cheese balls and started making bets. He visibly enjoyed said argument, which ended with one of them being punched.

[ID: Ben, sitting next to Five, and holding a large plastic jar of cheese balls. Ben looks offscreen, watching intensely, and says, "Twenty bucks on the little one," before eating a cheese ball. End ID.]

HAS A FUCKING POSTER OF HIMSELF HANGING ABOVE HIS BED LMAO. I WILL LITERALLY NEVER GET OVER THIS [Plain text: Has a fucking poster of himself hanging over his bed lmao. I will literally never get over this. End plain text.]

Said, "Stop crying on my bedsheets, emo" to a man who was grieving a loved one's death.

His reaction to his sister Sloane being engaged to Luther was "Kill me. Jesus." *drinks from flask* (This one is pretty fair in context, I just think it's really funny.)

To recap: Ben kidnapped Luther, antagonized Luther's family for the whole season, physically attacked multiple of them, and even attempted to kill them at one point. After all of this, Luther didn't invite Ben to his bachelor party, and Ben was fucking pissed about it. 5 out of his 6 siblings were dead, all of existence was being torn apart, and the thing that upset him the most was not being invited to the bachelor party of a guy he didn't even like. He would not fucking let it go.

Did the Sharpay pose on a balcony while brooding about not being invited.

Moments after doing said pose, he said "Ugh. What-ever!" while looking in a mirror. Why is he literally a mean girl

Said the line "Let's get this over with before I die of cringe" at his sister's wedding. [Plain text: his sister's wedding. End plain text.]

The only time in the whole season he ever relaxed, was genuinely nice to people, and enjoyed himself was when he was super drunk at the wedding.

This episode is when we start to see another side of him. That's right, he's not pure anger and malice, he has depth! Remember the whole "alternate version of the Umbrellas' beloved brother" thing? The Umbrellas are constantly comparing him to their Ben, saying how much better he was. It turns out, these comments hurt Sparrow Ben more than he lets on. His shitty dad always made him feel like he's not good enough, and he's insecure about it. Deep down, he really just wants people to like him, and his father to be proud of him. He also states that the Sparrow Academy is all he has, which is why it's so important to him.

All that said- he's still fucking horrible lmao. He's so damn hostile to everyone for no reason, and then gets upset when people don't like him. Why is he like this.

The morning after the wedding, once sober, he returns to his normal bitchy self.

[ID 1: Ben, shirtless, says intensely and angrily: "I hate you."

ID 2: Angrier, Ben says, "I do, I do, I really do." He turns and walks away. The word "asshole" is written on his back, in all caps. End ID.]

This is, of course, shortly followed by the image at the top of this post. Honestly, I think that image alone should be enough to convince you.

Kept trying to convince the others to go on this super important and dangerous mission to save the universe, and then once they were there, he just bitched and watched the others fight instead of helping. (He did eventually help when it really mattered though, and it was super cool and badass. I love him.)

His final line of the season is "I'm out, bitches!"

In conclusion, he is the definition of spiteful bitch. He is so unbelievably terrible, but he also has hidden depths. He's a genuinely complex and fascinating character, but he's also a fucking loser and I love bullying him. I could go on about him forever. Trust me when I say this post is me holding back.

If none of the above convinced you to vote for him... please, at least do it for me. He's my absolute favorite character, and I love him so much. I want him to win so badly that I stayed up all night working on this post. Excessive, yes, but it has to count for something.

If not for me, then do it for Justin.

Thank you so much for reading! Vote for Ben!

[scarlet-bee]

[ID 1: Sparrow Ben, sitting at a table, with his hand propped against the side of his head. He glares at someone offscreen.

ID 2: A poster of Ben, wearing his red Sparrow suit. He looks at the viewer, with a neutral expression. The background is off-white, and black cartoon tentacles are coming from Ben. The Sparrow symbol is in the bottom left corner, and the name "Ben" is above it, sideways and in all caps.

IDs 3-6: Four asks from different tumblr users.

User brittaperryapologist: "Sparrow Ben Hargreeves from The Umbrella Academy, because he's such a spiteful bitch, look at this spiteful bitch expression."

User aryanna5323: "Sparrow Ben as requested! (from The Umbrella Academy). He got demoted from team leader bc he fucked up once, and has been so mean about it ever since lol. Like kinda terrible to all his siblings oops. Literally cannot get over it or himself, and is mean to everyone who even looks at him now.

(a link)

I hope you can see him in the link. This is the face of someone who likes being a little bitch."

User riyusama: "Sparrow Ben from TUA."

User eighties-toons: "Name: Ben Hargreeves (Sparrow Academy)

Source: The Umbrella Academy

Why he's a spiteful bitch: Look at him (below). He's dramatic. He wears all black. The mustache. The hair. He's spiteful because he's number two, and has always been number two. He has an inferiority complex. He just wants to belong. He's the biggest bitch in this timeline, if not every timeline."

The ask includes an image of Ben, with a serious expression. He wears a black turtleneck, and a black jacket on top.

End of asks.

ID 7: Totoko Yowai from Mr. Osomatsu, wearing a fish costume. Nyaa Hashimoto is standing next to her. The two are smiling, and holding their hands in the air to wave. The subtitles say, "...and Nyaa's..." End ID.]

(The link in aryanna5323's ask) + the linked image

[ID: Ben, wearing his Sparrow Academy uniform. He looks down at the viewer, threateningly, with a slight smirk. End ID.]

---

We did it!!!

[Plain text: We did it!!! End plain text.]

Thank you @eighties-toons @riyusama @aryanna5323 @brittaperryapologist !!!

(Sparrow) Ben Hargreeves from The Umbrella Academy.

Huge bitch. Extremely irritable. Constantly scheming. Hostile to everyone for no reason, and then gets upset when people don't like him. Kidnapped a guy, and then was mad about not getting invited to said guy's bachelor party. Fist-fought a 13-year-old. I could go on and on. In conclusion, he's the worst guy you'll ever meet and he means everything to me.

I didn't know what kind of image you wanted, so here's two to choose from (look at him. He's so stupid).

We hear you! Sparrow Ben Hargreeves is officially in the bracket!

[non-plutonian-druid]

[ID: Drawings of the TUA Paranatural AU, mostly of the Sparrows. Alphonso and Sloane are both adults, wearing matching red and black suits. Both of them are spectrals, as indicated by the spectral energy rising off of them.

Marcus about twelve, the same as the majority of the Hargreeves. He is posing dramatically and wearing a polo shirt and khakis.

Fei and Jayme are both about 17, and are both vampires. Fei is wearing platform boots and an all-black outfit with a sheer skirt, and Fei is wearing a baseball tee and UFO pants.

The last image is of Umbrella Ben and Sparrow Ben. Umbrella Ben is a ghost, and looks about twelve. Sparrow Ben is alive, and a similar age to Fei and Jayme. End ID.]

I have decided what to do with the sparrows!

Alphonso and Sloane both work for the Commission on spirit-wrangling or whatever it is the commission does. They're a bit younger than Five (Sloane is 22, Alphonso is 20), and are roughly equivalent to Agent Day, for anyone familiar with the original comic. Basically, theyre there to snoop.

Marcus has some kind of band kid rivalry with Viktor. I don't know enough about band to determine what it is, but rest assured that they are very passionate about it.

Paranatural has vampires in it! I don't know what the deal is with vampires in paranatural so i wasn't going to include any, but specifically Fei and Jayme as vampires won me over. They probably spend their time trying to kill sparrow Ben.

Umbrella Ben and Sparrow Ben are both in this au! They're twins :)

[fiyero3305]

Ben showing up with the Sparrow Academy was honestly the first time I was really on board with this show my first time watching.

[helaintoloki]

hi can you do a ben hargreeves angst where klaus is still able to see him in season 3 and he sees how close y/n has gotten to ben sparrow you can do whatever you want with it

warnings: language, lots of angst

notes: okay i actually loved writing this you are a genius for coming up with this scenario

summary: Ben is forced to watch you fall for a completely different version of him

Ben once thought having to watch the woman you love live her life without knowing you looked on as a spirit incapable of communicating with her was the worst fate imaginable.

But he was wrong.

Watching the woman you love grow close to another version of you while you can do absolutely nothing to interfere was more torturous than any other possible outcome.

Ben absolutely loathed the Sparrow with his entire being. He couldn’t understand why you would even consider trying to get to know the man- he was a complete jerk, absolutely hostile, and not at all understanding or compassionate to the dilemma your team found yourselves in. Ben also thought his haircut was stupid, and the Sparrow’s demeanor gave the ghost a sense of second-hand embarrassment every time he talked.

And yet you were drawn to the man like a magnet, and how could you not be? He looked and sounded exactly like what you imagined your Ben would have if he had survived the accident and been able to grown into an adult alongside you. Despite his callousness and his blatant lack of trust in you, you were eager to learn more. Did he like the same things your Ben did? Did they share the same interests? Were their mannerisms the same? You desperately needed to know, and the Sparrow did not deny you this. Though he held a certain sense of disdain for your team, he wasn’t prideful enough to turn down the company of a pretty girl who seemed to follow him around like a lost puppy. He took advantage of your kindness and your vulnerability, and your Ben hated that he could do absolutely nothing to stop this.

You sit on a lone bench and watch as the Sparrow completes his workout for the day. He’s allowed you to tag along so long as you don’t get in the way, and you agreed. You’re completely mesmerized by his toned arms and grunts of effort that escape his lips as he lifts weights, and Ben can only roll his eyes.

“Seriously? This guy?” He asks you in exasperation, but of course, you don’t hear him at all. This doesn’t deter him from continuing his attempt to persuade you to stay away from the Sparrow. “You are way too good for an asshole like him. He’s just using you to feed his ego!”

“Do you like to read?” You ask the man as he sets down his weights and reaches for his towel to wipe off the sweat from his brow.

“Read?” He retorts haughtily, almost offended by the notion. “What am I, a nerd?”

Ben knows neither of you can see him, and yet he flips the man off anyway in response to his answer. Your shoulders visibly deflate at his words, and the ghost can only frown and attempt to place a comforting hand on your shoulder. It goes right through you, the coldness prompting you to shiver involuntarily, but it makes him feel better to know you can at least sense him in some way.

“My Ben liked reading, so I just thought maybe you would too,” you offer meekly, prompting the Sparrow to roll his eyes.

“Alright, new rule. You wanna hangout with me? Then don’t bring up ‘your’ Ben. Got it?”

“Right, sorry,” you murmur quietly while awkwardly fidgeting with the rings on your fingers. You hover over the one on your index, the purple gem gleaming in the light. Ben knows that ring because he gave you that ring, and that’s why it nearly kills him all over again when he watches you hurriedly remove it and hide it away in the pocket of your sweater.

“You shouldn’t have to apologize for being you,” he gently reprimands you with a sigh before focusing his harsh gaze on his lookalike. “And you should stop being a dick to quite possibly the nicest girl you’ll ever meet. You don’t deserve her, and I’ll never understand why the universe decided you should get to have her.”

Of course, his lecture is unheard and has no impact on the scene that unfolds before him. He watches in gut wrenching agony as the Sparrow seats himself beside you on the bench, his rough hand coming to rest gently upon your thigh and squeezing to get your attention. Your eyes almost seem to sparkle as you look up at him in search of validation for your efforts to get to know him. There’s a shift in the air that fills Ben with dread, and despite all his efforts to stop it he can do nothing to prevent your lips from meeting the man’s in a purposeful kiss.

Your heart flutters in your chest as the Sparrow pulls away and carefully tucks your hair behind your ear, his voice coming out in a soft whisper as he says, “You’re with me now. Forget about him.”

And to Ben’s absolute horror, you obediently offer a silent nod in agreement to his command.

[theconstantsidekick]

I have so many questions for season 4

Reginald was an alien. They knew that and then they came back to life after he tried to murder them and just… never asked him about it? They were like ‘yeah cool wtv’?

How does Claire know that Klaus is immortal? Is she aware of everyone’s powers? Did Alison tell her all about her dysfunctional super family?

WHY DOES LUTHER GO SEMI APE MODE FROM THE MARIGOLD? It wasn’t a part of his original powers!

Why is the marigold they take this season janky? Like why do they get sick? Did Reginald’s wife spike it? Or was it simply that they consumed it as fully grown adults instead of being born with it?

How did Reginald control so much of the US of A?? Like his people are literally leading the charge against Jean and Gene? How?

Why did that girl break up with Viktor? What do you mean he knows? I wanna know too!

What was up with the hotel in season 3? Why did have that samurai thing? Idk I’m lost

WHO THE FUCK BUILT THE SUBWAY STATION THAT FIVE BLINKED TO? THERE WAS A MAP SO CLEARLY SOMEONE BUILT IT, right? RIGHT?

How did Five and Lila spend 7 years on that fucking train and never run across another version of Five?

Why is there a Five Doppelgänger Owned Deli in that subway station? Are we meant to understand that in several other timelines he loses his powers, ingests “janky” Marigold and then gets this specific power? Or was this part of his original power set and he just never discovered it? If so, then why was the colour his blinking aura changed to purple from his usual blue? What is happening?

How did Claire and Lila and Diego’s kids survive without ALISON, DIEGO AND LILA NEVER HAVING EXISTED? I don’t think that’s how genetics work???

Why do we only see a fucking field of the original timeline… is there nothing else in that world or…?

Does Klaus know how Ben died? Seeing as he could talk to, you know, BEN?? Did he ever tell his siblings? If not? If he too were brainwashed, did og Ben never tell him the truth?

WHO THE FUCK WAS THAT BEN ON THE SUBWAY, READING A BOOK AND WEARING GLASSES? Who was that? What was the point of seeing him in the post credit scene for season3 and then NEVER EVER AGAIN?

Why are any of them so invested in saving Sparrow Ben? He’s mostly a dick? Did they get some development off screen????

How did one version of Five establish the Commission and never hire any other version of Five than the one we saw? If he did, did he keep track of all the Fives under his employment? To make sure to avoid any paradoxes?

There is a 6 year time jump but when Viktor asks Alison if she’s double crossing them again by teaming up with Reginald, Alison categorically says, “I haven’t met the man in 5 years”…. Does that mean she used to go over to the mansion for brunch every Sunday for a year?

Where the fuck did that man with a goldfish for his head come from? Why did he have an entire body?

Why did Lila get a family but no one else did?

WHY DID JENNIFER COME OUT OF A FUCKING SQUID?

Why does Diego not have all the skills he should from all the training he was put through? Also why is he called fat the entire season only to be shown to have WASHBOARD ABS!!?

I’m sure there are logical answers to some of these but I don’t know any.

[lemonwisp]

Brief little idea of what should have happened in season 4

First up: what they should have made Allison wish for in the reset

• getting Claire and Ray back

• bringing Dave back (because she was miserable without Ray and she knew about Klaus’s heartbreak)

Instead of like a 6 year time jump it should have been a year or two. So we can see them still settled in but also still struggling to get a normal life, some are doing better than others Liz

I think Ray should have died instead of leaving Allison.

Klaus would still be living with Allison and Claire but Dave would also be there and helping Klaus through sobriety as well as comforting Klaus when they have a hard time because they are still a germaphobe.

Sparrow Ben still goes to jail, Luther still becomes a stripper, and one day Sloane walks in and they fall in love all over again. Viktor still has a bar, and Diego and Lila still have Grace but they are struggling as new parents and maybe that would put a strain on their relationship, and Diego would be a cop.

Five wouldn’t be working for the CIA, he’d probably be still freaking out about an impending apocalypse that may or may not happen.

We see them all walk away from the park or whatever then we’ll meet again starts playing we get a little montage of their lives and having issues because they don’t have any ids or anything and just basic domestic life, Diego and Lila at the hospital with their baby, Allison and Claire at Ray’s funeral, a game night with Allison, Claire, Klaus, and Dave. Five having a little cabin and there is a string board thing and writing all over the walls, he’s passed out and a cup of coffee is spilt on the table. Viktor is playing the violin at a pub in Canada. Ben is getting arrested for the crypto scam.

Anyway they come together for the birthday party and that sorta stays the same after Klaus has the marigold they still wander off but of course Dave follows after him and Klaus relapses and after Klaus yells at Claire Dave stays with Claire and Klaus gets drunk then comes back home and Klaus and Dave have an argument about Klaus yelling at Claire but Dave also feels bad for Klaus and it causes an internal conflict as he wants to help Klaus and Claire, while Klaus and Dave fight Claire runs away and gets kidnapped by the Jean and Gene.

Jennifer thing still happens but how Ben died in the original timeline was that his powers killed him and he gets like ripped apart by the tentacles (because that is more shocking then Reggie who obviously wouldn’t hesitate to kill one of the kids)

Five and Lila still get trapped in the subway but there is no romance, and they run into brelly Ben (cause yk that scene in season 3) and there is a big face off between the two Ben’s and brelly Ben wins because he’s an icon but Jennifer also dies as a result of the attack.

After that Ben is like covered in blood but klaus still runs up to him and hugs him when they reunite and klaus cries and gets emotional and then ben

Allison is on a mission to get Claire and realizes that her daughter is more important than being famous

Luther and Viktor talk to Reggie

Everyone thinks they are going to die, Dave proposes to Klaus with the dog tags they find in ep 1.

Then idrk im not a writer, but they all get to live happily ever after (maybe Abigail dies and klaus summons her so she can tell Reggie that she didn’t want to be alive again) and they still have their powers but they can control them now and occasionally team together to stop bank robberies and such

Klaus and Dave get married because that’s what I want and then group dancing

[clementineofmine]

I'm sitting here rewatching Tua S3 for reasons, and one interesting thing I picked up is that the entire season is really just each of the Umbrellas struggling to define and searching for family in their own way. Here's me laying down some thoughts for y'all:

Luther - For him, family has always been about the team. That's part of the reason he's so drawn to the Sparrows, bc at first they seem to have the cohesiveness that the Umbrellas lacked. Remember, Luther was the last one left at the Academy, then Reginald sent him to the moon alone. So of course seeing a "functional" team is going to be compelling for him, and he desperately wants to be part of it. And then he and Sloane quickly fall in love and for the first time in his entire life, someone wants him for him. It's intoxicating and utterly consuming NRE that is more powerful than anything he's ever felt.

Diego and Lila - For these two, it's about figuring out how to be a family. Both together, but also a little bit with the other Umbrellas. Diego looking out for Allison and Klaus and Lila and Five coming to a truce are part of this - more about Lila and Five in a sec.

Allison - In her mind, her family is Claire and Ray. This one is obvious, but I also think that the writers did us a disservice by not letting us into Allison's perspective. If you think about it, it's completely normal for a parent to put their child above all. While I don't defend her actions, her motivation could have been more compelling and it would have strengthened her character. But sadly she's the character on the show that is most "othered" (which is bad for many reasons)

Klaus - he really dug deep into individual relationships w family, starting with Five (e2 and 5 Five and Klaus bonding are still some of the best bits of the season imo), Diego, Reginald, Sparrow Ben, and then Luther in the afterlife.

Five - Five remains a pragmatist. His bar for family is very low - success for him means the Umbrellas being alive, no matter what the personal cost or sacrifice to him or to some extent others. It is somewhat depressingly delightful to see how he makes his peace with the end of the world as the season progresses. Before that, however, I'd like to meander back to e3 and 4 where Lila convinces him to electrocute himself and then they go on the Commission mission. Both of the actors do a fine job here bouncing back and forth between witty banter and genuine emotion and I love it. It's a quick and subtle piece of dialogue when Five explains how he saved Lila from the Handler. The undertone is that they were both abused by that woman in a similar way - ultimately, she developed and kept them both as pawns in her own game. And I think Five, starting in S2E10 and fleshed out through S3, develops genuine empathy for and eventually acceptance of Lila as family, as one of them, because of this shared experience.

Viktor - Like Viktor in all seasons, he continues to feel out of place with the Umbrellas and compensates by over-prioritizing his relationships with others. Don't get me wrong, I do empathize with him that he lost real love with Sissy and Halan, but I also think Allison was 100% valid to call him out on his lying in E6, and it was on point to verbalize how the constant focus on Viktors pain minimizes her (and everyone else's) experience. (Edit to add: Viktor finally seems to get the message on this, after being called out by Allison, then subsequently both Sparrow Ben and Five, and spends the last few episodes trying to make amends. Real character development here and I like to see it)

Reginald - Well, his overarching motivation since S1 has always been bringing back his dead wife, so I won't belabor that, but also it's interesting to see how he interacted with Klaus particularly - esp in E7 when he sobers up it seems he is experimenting with remembering his role as a father. Now we don't get a ton about his internal motivation here, but you can tell there is some mild curiosity, if not affection, for Klaus, despite the fact that he ultimately is cool with sacrificing him.

Some of these are more obvious than others, but when you tie them all together, the idea that they are all desperately looking for family and the blind spots that that creates for them, some of the messiness of S3 starts to make a bit more sense.

[cogentranting]

I've been very negative to Umbrella Academy season 4 so far, and overall I didn't like it BUT here are the things I DID like (spoilers)

Lila and Diego naming their daughter Grace

Klaus and Allison looking out for each other at the start and Klaus being close with Claire

Luther's general happy-go-lucky attitude, bless his heart

Five as a CIA agent

Sparrow Ben being a crypto scammer (especially in a world that still has rotary phones)

Diego's one really cool moment of flipping through the air and pulling the hail of bullets around him and then shooting them off in different directions

Luther's hair. Very floofy.

Ben and Jennifer's meet-cute

Diego and Luther's excitement over beating up the CIA team

"Obviously we're meant to be together. Me with my tentacles. You, the miracle squid girl." 10/10. One of the greatest lines of dialogue ever written.

Diego's realization about taking his family for granted and coming home and embracing his in-laws and being enthusiastic about his wife and kids. Far too short, but a good place for him.

Diego somehow managing to hold onto those 3 reindeer through everything.

The suggestion that Tom Holland exists in this universe

The moment of Allison saving Klaus and them hugging with him saying "you came for me"

The reveal of how original Ben died and the reaction of all the siblings to it. Genuinely very shocking and emotional.

the timeline subway concept was cool

Baby shark

the happy ending for the side characters, especially Hazel and Agnes.

the cats in the CIA office

Luther's little elevator fight scene

Validation for Luther's moon mission

the ending use of "I think we're alone now"

[miniy00ng1]

Not Yours

Five Hargreeves x Female!Reader

wc: 1845

warnings: swearing, fighting, lmk if i missed anything!

find my masterlist here

hiii lovelies! i really enjoyed writing this, i will probably make a part two since the ending isn't really an ending, but i just wanted to get something posted! in this piece i refer to Viktor's character as Vanya since in the series at this time he did not come out yet! as always please ignore any grammar errors, give me feedback, and i hope everyone enjoys! thank you <3

-------------------------------------------

A bright blue flash appears in the foyer of The Umbrella Academy, from the flash comes the Hargreeves siblings, slowly coming to after being disoriented from time travel. The siblings surround the singular round table in the room, sitting atop the table was a newspaper.

Five Hargreeves, the youngest looking of the group, snatches the paper off the table frantically searching for a date. “Holy shit…I think we did it. It’s April 2nd, 2019, the day after the apocalypse.” Five lets out a dry chuckle, surprised he and his idiot siblings succeeded. 

Klaus lets out a cheer of excitement, he rests both arms over the shoulders of his two nearest siblings, pulling them close, “Go team! I mean look at us, we’re so amazing you guys. I think we should celebrate by breaking into Dad’s very special liquor cabinet.” The siblings laugh, all relieved they survived and saved the world, yet again. As the group begins to wander towards the sitting room, Five stops in his tracks–something, no, someone was missing.

Five looks at the bunch ahead of him, he counts their heads once—only five, and then recounts afraid that he’s made an error. He whips his head behind to check for the missing person–his missing person. Five releases a shaky breath he didn’t realize he was holding, panic beginning to set in, “You guys…where’s Y/N?” The siblings immediately become aware to the fact that you were missing.

“Maybe she ended up in another part of the house? We should split up and look for her.” Vanya suggested. The group murmurs in agreement, designating sections of the house for each sibling to search. Before the siblings can break off, something strange catches Diego’s eye, “Hey, why is there a painting of Ben over the mantelpiece?”

The siblings immediately gather around the mantel and stare in confusion at the painting of their dead brother, which was previously a painting of their missing brother. “Shit, that can’t be good…” Five hisses, trying to figure out what was going on. The siblings attention is pulled away from Ben’s painting as a figure abruptly stands up from a nearby chair. The fireplace sheds light on the figures, it was their previously dead father—Reginald Hargreeves.

“Dad, you’re alive.” Luther says softly. The older man scoffs and speaks in his shrill voice, “Why shouldn’t I be? And I am not your father, boy.” The monocled man corrects Luther causing him to furrow his brows in confusion. “What? What’re you talking about? Yes, you are. This is the Umbrella Academy.” Allison questions. “And you would be wrong again. This is not The Umbrella Academy, this is the Sparrow Academy.” As if on cue, six figures appeared near the railing of the balcony in the room.

“Those are my children, The Sparrows. After meeting you lot in the 60s, I was so put off by you that I made it a point not to adopt you, and instead found the others. I was quite successful and adopted eight of them.” Reginald states proudly, his hands behind his back. Another familiar voice grabs the attention of the Umbrella’s, “Dad, who the hell are these assholes in my house?” Ben Hargreeves, formerly dead, but now clearly alive stands before the group. Five squints his eyes at Ben, trying to determine what was off about him. Was it the hair?

“Oh my god! Ben-er-ino is that you? You look so good alive! Well, I mean beside that haircut, but I can look past that. Come give your favorite brother a hug!” Klaus squeals in excitement, approaching Sparrow Ben with his arms wide open. Sparrow Ben meets Klaus with a solid punch to the face. Klaus stumbles back and Luther manages to catch him. “What the hell was that for Ben?” Klaus groans, holding onto his nose.

Five examines the Sparrow siblings, trying to size them up, “You said you got eight. Where is the last one?” Five questions out loud. Suddenly, a small teenage, female figure appears seemingly out of thin air next to Ben. The Umbrella siblings slightly jump at the appearance of another person in front of them before they calm down and realize it’s you. But why are you standing next to Sparrow Ben and why are you wearing a school girl outfit with a sparrow logo on it.

“Y/N?” Five calls out, you tilt your head in response to hearing your name. You squint at Five with confusion, “How the hell does the kid know my name?” You look to Reginald for answers to which he doesn’t provide any. The rest of your siblings join you and Ben in front of the strangers in your home. “I think it’s about time you guys leave.” Marcus states, puffing out his chest. “We’re not going anywhere, this is our house.” Diego replies stalking closer to Marcus. “All right, it looks like we’re going to have to settle this the old fashion way.” Both groups of siblings get into fighting stances, readying themselves to beat the shit out of each other. 

You roll your eyes, your siblings have always had a flare for the dramatics and it’s just never been your style. You use your powers–manipulation of your appearance, to make yourself invisible once again. You study the way the young boy immediately looks for your presence, trying to get even the smallest hint of where you’ve gone. As your siblings start to fight with the strangers in your house you sit back to enjoy the show.

Each one of your siblings is matched up and fighting one of the Umbrella Academy siblings and with the way things are going down, you’re betting on the Sparrows. Marcus is clearly winning against Luther and you’re becoming bored watching them hit each other back and forth. You then come across Diego riding around on Christopher asking him repeatedly about “who his daddy is” this makes you giggle. You then make your way into the foyer where you observe two more pairs of siblings fighting.

Something on the table catches your eye. A sleek, black briefcase rests in the middle, you don’t recognize it, but recall that the Umbrella’s first appeared in this room. You snatch the briefcase and decide to keep it, just in case. “Y/N! Come here and look at this freak!” You hear Jayme call your name from the top of the staircase and follow her voice. Once you reach the top of the stairs you make yourself visible and see the teenage boy, who they call Five, making out with the air. “Guess who the little perv is macking on.” Jayme says wiggling her eyebrows suggestively at you.

“Gross Jayme, why do you have to say it like that?” You say scrunching your nose in disgust. “Let me deal with him.” You signal Jayme to go away. The boy is still stuck in his daydream and continues to make out with the air. In order to get him out of the dream state you hit him in the side with the briefcase, knocking him off balance. Five rolls to the floor, shaking his head trying to re-enter reality. Immediately realizing his compromised position he quickly gets to his feet raising his fists but once he realizes it’s you, he drops his arms.

“I’m not going to hit you Y/N. I would never fight with you.” As Five lets his guard down, you use this to your advantage, immediately swinging your body in an attempt to roundhouse kick him in the face. He blinks away, dodging the kick, and appears on the other side of you causing you to stumble back since you missed your target. You prepare to hit him again but he blinks away for the second time, this time right behind you and pressed to your backside. Five’s arms wrap around your body, holding you in place, the briefcase still tightly clutched in your hand.

“Love, stop this. I am not going to fight with you.” Five says through gritted teeth as he holds you arms down to your side. You struggle against his grip trying to wiggle free, “I am not your love.” In that moment you swing your head back hoping to knock into his head but a flash of blue light surrounds you. You’re back in the foyer with Five and a couple of his siblings. “Someone hold onto her and make sure you don’t lose that briefcase. I’ve got to make sure Vanya’s okay and then we’ve got to get the hell out of here.” Five calls out to his siblings, Luther takes over the hold on you as Five blinks away and snatches the briefcase out of your hand. “I will kill you if you don’t let me go you fat gorilla.”

The Hargreeves siblings manage to “win” the fight against your siblings thanks to Vanya’s powers and take you as hostage without the Sparrows noticing. Luther carries you over his shoulder while the group tries to find a place to rest. Once arriving at a nearby park, the siblings sprawl out and complain about their aches and pains. Luther sets you down on a park bench laying his legs over yours to hold you down. “Get off of me you overgrown monkey! Let me go home or I’ll make you regret it!” You say trying to come off as threatening but Luther doesn’t take you seriously. “You know Y/N, you used to be a lot nicer. Now you sound like Five, and he’s an asshole. Here’s a fun idea! Why don’t you go back to being the nice Y/N we all know and love.” Luther sighs, covering his eyes with his arms and ignoring anything else you say or do.

Five sits up straight from the table he’s sitting at, “Luther quick, hand me the briefcase. Maybe I can time travel us back to the correct timeline.” Luther groans at the thought of having to move, he brings his hand to the floor in search of the briefcase to which he finds nothing. Luther lets out an awkward chuckle, “Yeah…about that…I might have dropped it when that blind one was chasing us with her scary birds.” Luther winces in preparation of Five’s wrath. The look on Five’s face turns murderous, “I ask two simple things Luther, that’s it. So simple even a monkey could do it…or maybe not. Keep my wife safe and don’t lose the briefcase. Is it that damn hard!” 

You let out a laugh and tune back into the conversation at the mention of yourself, “Not your wife short stuff!” Five’s attention is now back on you, his nostrils flaring in frustration, “Yes Y/N, you have made that painstakingly clear. And you’re certainly not as sweet and loving as my Y/N and you’re annoying as hell. But until I can get my Y/N back, you’ll have to do. Not to mention, you’ll come in handy once the Sparrows realize you’re gone.” Five lets out a breath as an attempt to calm down, “We need a game plan and a place to stay seeing as we don’t have one anymore. Anybody have any ideas?” 

part two, part three

[scarlet-bee]

Good news, Sparrow Ben is officially a contestant in the Spiteful Bitches Bracket!

Once again, thank you to the others who submitted him!

I'm proud of us, but this is just the beginning! Keep spreading the word about the bracket, and prepare your Sparrow Ben propaganda! And be sure to follow @spitefulbitches so you can vote for him when the bracket begins!

[ID: Sparrow Ben Hargreeves, from The Umbrella Academy, in the Sparrow training flashback scene. He wears a black karate uniform. He is looking ahead, with a sadistic, arrogant grin. End ID.]

(This image is so funny to me. Why is he like this)

[scarlet-bee]

[ID: On the left side is Sparrow Ben Hargreeves, from Netflix's "The Umbrella Academy." His arms are crossed, and he is looking at the viewer with a slight smile. At the top, the background is off-white, with pink dots. Further down, it turns into a pink background with off-white dots.

A black line splits through the middle, seperating the two characters. The word "vs" is in the middle of it, in large, maroon text.

On the right side is Demona, from Disney's "Gargoyles." She is looking offscreen with a grin, and resting a hand on her hip. At the top, the background is off-white, with blue dots. Further down, it turns into a blue background with off-white dots.

Near the edges of the image, there is a tilted border of two thin, white lines. End ID.]

[Plain text: Round 1 - Matchup 2: Sparrow Ben Hargreeves vs. Demona. End plain text.]

[ohmyitsfaith]

The sunshine and the grump / Part 4

Pairing: Sparrow!Ben Hargreeves x Reader

Summary: With your curiousity for Jennifer satisfied, but your anger about your husband’s dismissal still burning high, you decide to stay just a little bit more with the Umbrellas.

Warnings: fighting, Jayme using her power on the reader continuously

Word count: 2.1k

A/n: Honestly, I realized what my problem was when writing the last two parts of this. I was leaning too heavily on the show and not enough on my own ideas. So here's a part that I wrote on the train where I had no access to the actual show other than my memories.

Five’s reaction wasn’t comforting, but he was ambushed by Klaus the next moment and you went back to eating your breakfast. What could you do?

Technically what you came for, you already got. You now knew about Jennifer, at least you knew what mattered. Though you didn’t really know what to do with the information, your curiosity was satisfied. But thinking about going back… back to the family you thought loved you…

Well, they did love you. You knew that. Ben loved you as much as he was an asshole to you currently. And Jayme and Fei. Sloane especially. Alphonso loved you too and Chris… well he tolerated you. Only Marcus was a bit of a tough nut to crack. You didn’t give up yet on him, but… still. You didn’t want to go back.

Here, at least Klaus liked you. He talked to you, shared the information you needed with you. You wanted to get to know the Umbrellas, if you were honest. They seemed like a… very interesting bunch.

You looked at the Umbrellas that were around you. Viktor was trying to stop everyone from leaving. Klaus and Five were going on a road trip, if you heard it right. Diego and his alleged son were going to the store. Luther was nowhere to be found. And Viktor, giving up on the others, grabbed some breakfast on a tray and walked off.

You had two chances at getting to know the Umbrellas: either wait for Viktor to come back or go with Diego and his son. You quickly weighed your options, then ran after Diego.

“Diego, wait for me!”

“I still don’t like that you’re here” Diego grumbled as you walked down the street. “You’re the enemy.”

“Technically, I’m not” you pointed out. “I’m just a mere human without any powers. I’m harmless.”

“Not if you report back to your little birds” Diego rolled his eyes.

“They don’t listen to me” you sighed. “I’m not part of the team, the academy. I’m just Ben’s… wife.”

“That’s… sad.”

“It really is.”

“Okay, I’ll bite” Diego looked at you. “Why did you come to us? It can’t be just your curiosity about Jennifer.”

You looked at him for a few seconds. “No, you’re right” you sighed and looked at your hand, where your wedding band sat. “We… Me and Ben… had a fight. If I can even call it a fight.”

“I can’t read in your head, woman” Diego urged you to explain.

“Well… I think it started with me searching for information about Jennifer in his room” you started and noticed Diego’s facial expression. “I know, I shouldn’t have. But he was busy and I wanted answers” you put your hands up. “I understand why he was mad. But then he told me that I was too naive and they don’t need my help.”

“Well… that’s an asshole move, but maybe there was some truth in that. You’re… what do you even do?”

“I’m an interior designer” you supplied.

“Well then yeah, you probably wouldn’t have been able to help” Diego nodded, thinking.

“Asshole!” you hit him on the arm.

“Look, all I’m saying is that he had a reason to be mad at you. And with your job, you’re nowhere near the place where you could help anyone strategically plan” he explained.

“Why am I even here” you grumbled.

“I wonder that myself.”

You glared at him, then just entered the shop. You wondered whether it was even worth coming along with him. If staying at the hotel would’ve been better. You also wondered what Ben was doing. He was no doubt busy with his plan against the Umbrellas.

Which was stupid, in all honesty. Just because they caused some trouble at the mansion, why should they die? The Umbrellas didn’t want them dead. Well… other than Diego. Diego was all for beating them to a pulp. But the rest just wanted their home back. Which was honestly understandable. If what they said was true and they did come from a different timeline, then the fact that they lost everything and were left without even a home to go back to was… jarring, fear-inducing. Kind of what a tree would feel if it was uprooted and placed elsewhere. You could almost share the feeling. Almost.

Because you still had Ben to go back to. This was just a stupid fight, you’d be over it sooner or later. You just had to… talk to him. Alone, preferably.

And that… pretty much settled it. You’d go back and… see how things go.

You suddenly saw Diego duck behind a shelf, which made you suspicious. Especially when you saw him peek out from behind it just a moment later. He didn’t seem the type to play hide-and-seek in a convenience store, so, furrowing your brows, you went over to him.

“Diego, what-” you started, but were interrupted by Diego pulling you down beside him.

“Shush” he said lowly, then peeked out again. “They’re here…”

“Who-” you looked where he was looking and noticed Jayme and Alphonso. “Oh…”

Diego pulled you down again, glaring at you. “Try not to get me caught.”

“Oh god” you rolled your eyes, but Diego was already moving away from the spot where you were crouched. “Don’t try it, Diego!”

But no matter what you said, Diego was already standing up, right in sight of Alphonso. You held your head in your hands, unsure what you should do. Diego wouldn’t back down and would get hurt. Then again, it wasn’t like you didn’t try to stop him. It was his own fault if he got hurt. But still, you didn’t want him to get hurt. In all honesty you just wanted peace. No more fighting, no more arguing. You knew things could be fixed if everyone just sat down and talked.

You heard Diego get slammed back into a shelf and you made a decision. You stood up and ran for Alphonso. You weren’t going to stand by and just watch as the two of them fought it out in the convenience store. So you were going to stop them, whatever it took.

And it seemed the first thing it demanded of you was to take a punch in the face. Okay, it wasn’t that easy. Technically you should’ve expected the punch and ducked out of the way of it. You knew Alphonso was on high-alert and if he saw someone at full speed rushing up to him, of course he was going to act in defense and punch without checking who it was.

“Ow!” you yelped as you were thrown off your balance.

“Y/n?” Alphonso turned at your voice. “What are you-” but in the next moment he was pushed by Diego, who ran at him like a bull.

You cheek was throbbing with pain, but you forced yourself to focus on the fight. You got to your feet and saw Diego try to punch Alphonso without feeling the pain himself.

“Stop it Diego!” you yelled at him, trying to grab his arm, to pull him away.

Suddenly, a knife whizzed by you and scratched Alphonso’s leg. You heard the little boy scream behind you and Diego instantly looked toward him, all anger leaving him for a moment. He jumped up and ran for the little boy, who was whining and writhing on the floor.

You took a breath and blinked against the pain. Then leaned down to grab Alphonso’s arm to help him up.

“What are you doing here?” he finally asked. “With them nonetheless!”

“I-” you searched for the words. “I needed time away from…”

“So you colluded with the enemy?!”

“I did not collude with the enemy!” you denied, offended. “And they’re not our enemies!”

“Of course they’re our enemies!” Alphonso scoffed. “They broke into our home, kidnapped Marcus-”

“But they didn’t!” you interrupted. “Marcus isn’t-”

You couldn’t finish though, because Diego threw a… pan?! at Alphonso, hitting him square in the face. The impact sent Alphonso stumbling back and you stared at Diego in confusion. He had knives. Why a pan?!

But the next item came flying, all aimed at Alphonso, who kept trying to dodge. All that stumbling and dodging ended in him bumping into the aisle, knocking down the short shelves, falling onto them.

That finally alerted Jayme into action. She first spit in your direction, which at first you thought you managed to dodge.

“Jayme! What…” but the next moment a hallucination overtook you.

You were still standing in the convenience store, but this time Ben came in, tentacles out to shield you from the slaughter of Diego’s knives. You saw that the knives were hurting him, but his focus was on you. Just like the first time you met, you were saved by him.

One tentacle wrapped quietly around you, lifting you from the chaos and close to him.

“Ben” you breathed.

He pulled you close, the tentacle putting you right next to him, easing you to your feet. His arms wrapped around your waist, keeping you steady. All noise washed away. It was just you and him. Like all those sweet days of solitude on your honeymoon.

“I’ll take you home, baby” he said, his voice sweet like honey.

“H-home?” you stuttered. “No, I-”

“The hallucinogen is wearing off” you heard another voice suddenly and you blinked hard.

“Don’t worry” Ben said, his voice a bit distorted and looked back at you. The next time he spoke, his voice was back to normal. “You’ll be okay, baby. They won’t hurt you there.”

Your heart calmed and your lips pulled into a gentle smile.

“Okay” you sighed. “Take me home, baby.”

All the way to the academy, you were in and out of the hallucination. In your hallucination you were on a romantic stroll with Ben, once again feeling the peace of your pink-clouded romance. In reality though, you were sweating profusely, dragged by Alphonso and Jayme to the academy, just barely not drooling. You were also breathing hard with the hallucination clouding your brain.

Jayme knew it was probably mostly your subconscious fighting against the hallucinogen. Many times she asked you to train with her for control over her hallucination. As added fun, you tried to fight it, trying to break out of the hallucination before it ran out.

So she kept spitting on you, the black goo seeping into your face. Did she feel bad for you? Yes. But you were caught with the enemy. She couldn’t in good conscience let you go back. Who knows what those criminals did to you to make you stay with them. Because as soft-hearted as you were, you wouldn’t sympathize with criminals, who broke into your home and even kidnapped your brother-in-law. That would be betraying Ben and his trust placed in you.

You kept muttering Ben's name every so often and Jayme couldn't even imagine how the man would react to his wife colluding with the enemy.

When they dragged you into the mansion’s living room, barely conscious, Ben didn’t know what to think.

He had been so mad at you the night before and so focused on the coming mission, he didn’t think much about you not being in your room. He thought that once you calmed down, you would join him in the bed. And then, in the morning you would talk it out as you did all your arguments.

Even if this was bigger than any of your previous ones.

But you weren’t there in the morning, your place still the same way it was the night before. It didn’t take much for Ben to realize that you were never there. By then, he was calm, he had forgiven you for the snooping, after all he was busy and didn’t really have time to search for the answers with you. He was also slightly guilty about dismissing your help at the second mission planning meeting. He knew he was an asshole to you, even though at the time he justified it with being mad at you.

But he really wanted to talk it out with you. To solve this issue. After all, everyone was on edge, him especially. Since you were in his life, there weren’t big enemies like the Umbrellas were right now. Not only did he want to keep you safe, he also wanted to prove himself.

So it was understandable that he was feeling more stressed about this.

Now though? He didn’t know what to think.

“What happened?” he asked, confused but he could feel the rage starting to burn in him. “Why is she under your power?”

Jayme and Alphonso shared a look.

“We found her with the Umbrellas.”

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Taglist: @snixx2088, @lxkeeeee, @kimm4710, @sagestack, @koshi-sama, @cherryinsalemverse, @lifrimen, @inkedeye2345, @popstarbarbiee

[32beesinatrenchcoat]

So I was going to write a detailed post describing my every thought on the last season of the Umbrella Academy, but that would have taken forever to write and read. Not to mention people here have spoken about most of those things more eloquently than I ever could. Instead, I want to mention a running theme in the show: family. That seems obvious enough on the surface considering the premise is a dysfunctional superhero family. However, each character is motivated by the nebulous concept of a family.

This has a different meaning for each main character. Sometimes it's by blood, by marriage, or by teams. Each character may have different motivations that could come in conflict with each other's. In season 3, Allison is motivated by a loss of her family (Claire and Ray), Diego and Lila are motivated by starting a family together, and Luthor is conflicted between his old family (the umbrella academy) and a new family (the sparrows).

The problem I have with season 4 is that this theme is tossed aside for no reason. They spend very little time with each other, and they seem so miserable whenever they do get together. Viktor wants to help Ben cause he's his brother, but they have no connection beyond Umbrella!Ben. Allison saves Klaus only to have it thrown in her face. Luther spends the first episode trying to bring the family together and never does it again. But at least these people tried to help. The rest of the family would rather do anything else it seems.

Ben and Klaus immediately walk away after the fight in Maine to do whatever they want. It's been shown that Klaus likes to have people when he's hit bottom, whether that's to help him or just provide company. Ben spent the entire wedding episode angry that he was unwanted. It makes no sense he would throw away several chances to be a part of a family just to be an ass.

Diego and Lila chose to have kids and be together last season. Why are they shown to be completely unhappy now? Lila always wanted a family and people who loved her instead of manipulating her. In this timeline, her parents are alive, she has children and a husband, and his siblings are all there for her. What was the point of telling us several times last season how good of a dad Diego would be to not have that shown? Even if his job sucks and his life is stressful and he misses heroism, his children should be the most important thing to him.

Finally, we reach Five. Five's definition of family has always been his siblings. He fought for them. He killed for them. So him wanting to hide away in some fantasy timeline instead of saving his family is ridiculous and completely out of character. I could believe him and Lila being stuck together and they grow close over the years. I could maybe believe some romantic feelings happened if they truly saw no way out. The problem is that they should have gone straight home once the cipher was found.

The biggest issue is that none of these arcs were absolved. Diego/Lila/Five is never reconciled either way, Allison saves Klaus again and he learns nothing from it, Ben dies a painful death again, and the children are punished for the crime of being born by being erased from reality. The conclusion to the theme of the show is not only do they cause problems in every relationship they have, but that they are the problem. The show asks, What is family? The answer: nothing that can last apparently

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

I Still see people complain that they want 'original ben' back instead of 'sparrow ben' and like....my loves they are quite literally the same person. did you miss that. sparrow ben is just a matured version of umbrella ben. klaus' powers were making him look older but he literally. could not age or develop as a ghost. ghost ben was fundamentally a 17 year old. he doesn't seem like as much of a dick because he's just being an annoying little brother. he's softer because he's a kid. HAD umbrella ben lived and aged, he would've ended up like sparrow ben- maybe a LITTLE different, because I can't imagine the umbrella's staying together as a team as long as the sparrows did, even without a death- but still. even when the siblings fondly remember ben from their childhoods he's being a dick 😂 playing pranks and being bratty. that 'vanya can go on the mission for me' bit in season 4? that was so mean of him skdfjhskd. he's a snotty rich kid who thinks he's smarter than he actually is and enjoys messing with people. we all love him for it. but when nothing changes and that kid continues to grow up in the same environment, only getting richer and being given more power while also not really experiencing the world outside his bubble in any meaningful way....you get an asshole 30 year old like sparrow ben. he still has all of ben's traits- snarky, smart, a tad shallow, desperate for love, desperate for attention. he loved his sparrow siblings. he got embarrassed by people looking at his art. the umbrellas hurt his feelings and he went and sulked about it to his sister. all of the characters are different in their 30s than they were in their teens, because that's how being alive works lmfao. you just naturally close off a little bit more vs the earnestness that comes with childhood. and I think justin did a really good job portraying both sides of the character!!

[helaintoloki]

The Ghost of You

pairing: Sparrow!Ben x reader

warnings: language, angst

notes: i got a request for sparrow!ben angst and a request for a continuation of relenting/keep your enemies closer so i thought why not do both

summary: reality finally sets in for you and Ben

“Does it hurt?”

“Only a little,” you admit with an indifferent shrug as you show off your fresh stitches to an uneasy Ben. The day’s mission had been an overall success but not without any damage done. You’d taken a nasty hit defending Diego from an attacker that had been planning to ambush him, and if not for Luther quickly rushing you out of there your injuries very well could have been much worse. “Grace says if I take care of it enough the scarring won’t be as bad.”

“You really scared the shit out of me, you know,” Ben admits through a shaky breath. “I didn’t see what happened, but when I saw Luther carrying you away I assumed the worst.”

“You know it’s kind of hard for me to die, right?” You remind him teasingly, but when you see that the apprehension in his features hasn’t melted away at your words you quickly reach for his hand and give it a tight squeeze. “Hey, I’m fine. I could never leave you- we’re in this together, remember? You and me forever just like we said.”

A small smile manages to break through his worried expression as he returns the gesture and gives your hand a careful squeeze. In the safety of your bedroom he knows that nothing can harm you, and as long you’re together everything will be okay.

“Forever,” he agrees with a firm nod, his voice echoing in the distant corners of your mind.

You wake with a start, heavily gasping for air as if you haven’t been breathing the entire time you’ve been asleep. Your chest feels tight and tears immediately spring to your eyes as your mind desperately tries to grasp at the remnants of the memory that had taken over your dreams. That had been the last time you’d seen Ben before the accident, before you’d been benched from the team because of your injury and failed to be present to protect him from death. You’ll never get over that night, and you’ll never get over him, which is why you feel sick to your stomach with guilt when you finally remember that you didn’t go to bed alone last night.

Ben sleeps soundly beside you, never once stirring from your movements, and in his sleep the Sparrow almost looks less mean. He almost looks like your Ben again, and you feel horrible for thinking that. What kind of woman were you to sleep with another version of your dead boyfriend in some sick form of coping with the loss of what could have been.

His arm across your waist suddenly feels uncomfortable heavy, and as your eyes trail along his forearm and down to the tips of his fingers you realize your shirt has ridden up and his fingers are splayed across the gnarled scar on your abdomen. Grace had been right about needing to take care of it in order to minimize the damage; after Ben’s death you hadn’t bothered to take care of yourself let alone worry about your stitching. Everything is suddenly too much for you and you’re forced to shove the man away from you before you begin to suffocate.

“What’s going on?” He complains with a hoarse groan, finally stirring awake after your erratic movements. The sheets pool at his bare waist as he sits up in bed and blearily rubs the rest of the sleep away from his eyes.

“I can’t do this anymore,” you whisper in a shaky voice as you begin to scour the floor for your clothes that had been carelessly tossed aside the night before.

“Can’t do what?” Ben retorts in annoyance. He doesn’t enjoy being woken up out of his own volition, and he certainly doesn’t enjoy having to deal with other people’s emotions this early in the morning.

“This-!” You exclaim emphatically before wildly gesturing between him and yourself. “Us! It was one thing sleeping with you when I thought the world was ending and nothing mattered, but it’s been six years! I can’t keep acting like this relationship is normal when it’s not!”

“Newsflash sweetheart, nothing about either of us has ever been normal,” Ben reminds you almost condescendingly, your outburst clearly upsetting him. “So what if we’re not from the same timeline or whatever it is you want to call it? Why does that matter? I’m still Ben-“

“You’re not my Ben!” You cry out in exasperation. Your harsh comment stuns him into silence, and now all either of you can do is stare at each other while you sit in tense silence. Tears stream down your face as you desperately clutch at your chest in hopes the pain will stop. Trembling, you continue, “The only thing you two have in common is a face. You’re nothing like him, and I was so stupid for thinking that maybe you could be.”

“So that’s it?” He retorts harshly as his hardened eyes bore into your soul. Though Ben masks it as anger, your words dig deep into his chest. You’re not the only one that’s lost someone, and you have no idea how painful it is to have the woman who looks and sounds exactly like your lost love tell you she wants absolutely nothing to do with you. “Just because I’m not some softie loser you won’t even try to make this work?”

“He was more than that,” you correct him with a pitiful laugh, carelessly wiping away your tears. “And the fact that you don’t get that is exactly why this won’t work. You need to go.”

You say nothing more as you wordlessly lock yourself in the bathroom and allow him the chance to gather his things and go. With your back pressed against the door, you slowly sink to the floor and hold your head in your hands as you begin to sob.

He isn’t your Ben, you know this, and yet a part of you desperately wishes he was.