#m and l

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls: Season 3/Ep 7: They Shoot Gilmores Don't They (Henceforth known as Dance Marathon Episode)

Original Air Date: Nov 12th 2002 This is tied with Lorelai Graduation's Day as my favorite episode, so let us begin.

"Charity". All proceeds go into Taylor Doose's pocket. We'll be getting into that shortly (again).

Heh heh. Lorelai tells a ridiculous story about how she didn't win the trophy at the previous DM. Luke declines her invitation to be her dance partner.

Thank you Luke.

THANK YOU LUKE. Allow me to put this into further perspective. *clears throat* *gets up on Bridge Rage soapbox* SO ABOUT THAT BRIDGE...

From the season 7 episode Knit, People, Knit, original air date 11/26/2006. Dance Marathon aired in November 2002. If fundraising had already been ongoing for 8 years by 2002, that means bridge repair began in 1994 and was ongoing in 2006. Therefore, one can deduce it will take a minimum of 12 years for Taylor Doose to replace a few planks of wood on a tiny bridge. Despite there being visible evidence that said bridge is still not repaired after 12 years, Luke is the only person who ever dares to question this. I'm not sure if the last plank of wood was finally paid for in KPK, I can only stick around in Seasons 6 & 7 for a few minutes at a time or I start to break out in hives and no intrepid scientist has invented a Later Seasons Gilmore Girls Vaccine yet. I get my screengrabs and get the hell out. Taylor: We're not raising money to restore the bridge. Luke: We're not? Taylor: No, we have that money, our Tennesee Williams Lookalike Contest put us over the top. This is for a tarp to cover the bridge. We can't start repair on the bridge now at the start of snow and rain season. The work will be ruined and we'll be back at square one. We need a tarp! Luke: Taylor you are asking me to donate free coffee to hundreds of people so you can raise money for a tarp! You know what, this episode is about a dance marathon and Shane Campbell's untimely demise, not political corruption in small town america and Taylor Doose's obsession with a Broken Bridge and how he's funneling town funds into his offshore bank account so he can use the money to take vacations to Maui and then tell the IRS they're just "business trips" for the Small Town Grocery Store Owners Convention. Carry on.

Lorelai managed to snag a dance partner named Stanley Appleman but she quickly loses him after his wife sees a picture of Lorelai and Mrs.A deems Lorelai too sexy to dance with her husband.

Now when has a Gilmore ever slept with someone else's husband? Where would she get such a crazy idea? Pshaw.

I was about to blast past whatever Newspaper Nonsense was about to take place next but then I noticed the background of this shot. Madelyn and Louise my slutty queens! Since Shane's demise is imminnent, going forth they will carry the slutty torch in her honor.

Jamie is about as tittilating as mayonaise on toast. Jamie will henceforth be named Mayonaise. Jaym-onaise?

Rory is right there, Paris. She’s right there. Urrgh. Why must we pretend Paris Geller is straight? Mayonaise was too busy with dullard business at Princeton for the last 3 months to contact Paris, but now he has some free time so he thought’d he come hang around at a high school with a bunch of minors.

Paris Geller's fragile remnants of heterosexuality are shaking in their boots looking at this face. I’m trying to forget that it only gets worse from here and Paris' next love interest is Asher Fleming 🤢You know what it’s fine it’s fine Jaymonaise can stick around it’s fine

SECURITY!

I thought about this weird and clunky "go find a pirate to sit on" long and hard until I think I figured out what the hell she's trying to say.: "Pirates sometimes have hooks for hands, so if you sit on a pirate's hand maybe the hook will go up your ass." That is WILD. She can't say "let go of my fucking hand you knob" on The WB, so "find a pirate to sit on" it is. Paris would say "Let go of my fucking hand you knob" on my gritty unrated realistic Gilmore Girls spinoff with a lot of swearing called The Hollow. And then immediately turn to Rory and make out with her.

Paris is hesitant to go on another date with Mayonaise, so Rory plays wingman and declares that Paris is free to go on a date, Mayonaise says we're going on a date, then Mayonaise steals her books and runs away with them, leaving Paris bewildered with the smell of "only vague consent" lingering in the air.

Dean's one brain cell is either deep in thought or he's about to soil his diaper. I'm very sorry. I'm glad someone in the Gilmore household decided Dean doesn't deserve a plate to eat from. He can eat his pizza on a napkin on top of a limp throw pillow balanced on one knee like the animal he is. What's with this show and wooden bowls full of walnuts?

According to Lane, Dean is deathly allergic to walnuts. *scooches bowl closer to the couch*

Can you even ask any other kind of question?

Can we go back to doing this, as well as going back to feeding him walnut-laced cookies? D: When did you hang up on me? R: When we first met. D:You should have said something. R: But you would have known that I was calling and therefore I liked you. D: But I liked you too! R:I know that now. D: You could have known that then... Hey, can you two shut the god damn hell up? Both of you stay the hell away from phones and answering machines for the next 15 years. Thanks.

Better declare your love quickly before he gets sucked up by the Male Gilmore Girls Character California Wormhole.

Good boy. #CaptionsFail

Dean came prepared with a pillow shield so Lorelai can't grope for his junk.

You're just a boy, you know nothing. But I'll make you a man, Dean. Just toss that pillow aside.

[the-ravens-requiem]

It had been a long time coming. Today was finally the day.

Rook peered up into the expectant faces of the professors, stomach churning with anxiety and trepidation. Their father had given them a pep-talk earlier in the day, but the comforting words were no match for the twisting knife of fear in their guts. The fear of failure. The panic of it ebbed and flowed like a heartbeat, a broken bone -- a pain so deep that it nearly caused Rook to double over.

Taking a deep breath, the young wizard launched into their practiced speech: "Yes. Well. I know the College's stance on what has been dubbed 'dark' magic, but year after year I have tried to show the merit in such practices in order to study at your prestigious school. I think such matters will breathe fresh life into the academia of magic, but you must excuse the double meaning of such a turn of phrase. If you will observe --"

"This again, Rook? We've told you time and time again, necromancy is expressly forbidden on school grounds." One of the professors spoke up -- the head of the council. Face cut deeply with wrinkles and age, brow furrowed and wizened but very much appearing unwilling to entertain dalliances. The face of a grumpy grandfather, or perhaps just a rotten old man.

"If you would please just listen for once --" The young wizard protested, clutching the clay pot in their hands with white knuckles.

"We will not tolerate another attempted presentation." The same professor interrupted. "Last year's demonstration was enough. It is unnatural to the order of things, and the College's official stance will not waiver."

Rook held up the pot to the council so that they could see it better. "This time it is not sentient life. Not a bird in a cage, but a plant. Please. I beg you. I can show you how useful such magic is. In case of a drought, to prevent famine -- !"

Another professor on the council motioned with their hand, and Rook felt their mouth clamp shut. Magical silence. They tried to resist, but to no avail.

It was fine.

Rook didn't need words. Didn't need the practiced speech, nor the echoes of comforting words their father had tried to placate their fears.

The pot glowed with magic, as did the veins in Rook's wrists and arms. They focused their power into the pot, sweat forming on their pale brow. It would have to be quick and the hastened effect took a toll on their mana reserves.

The dead plant in the pot suddenly flourished, bursting with green life. Rapidly, the planted budded and a flower grew, blooming a magnificent red.

Rook held up the plant once more to the professors, and the one who cast the spell released them from their silence with an annoyed flick of their wrist. "…See? Necromancy could save kingdoms."

Disgruntled looks were exchanged between the four arch-wizards present, looming above the young magic user and separated by the darkened wood of their desks.

"Denied." The head wizard spoke, stamping Rook's letter of acceptance with a heavy, angry hand. Turning over the letter so that Rook could see it, the dark red ink looking like a laceration in pale flesh. "Thrice we have denied you. This was your last chance, and you squandered it."

"You have a lot of talent, young wizard." One of the other professors spoke up, a new one -- an elven woman with white hair and sharp features. Her cutting gaze beheld Rook with distain. "But you will not be allowed to study at the College, ever. Please leave at once."

The pot felt heavy in Rook's hands as the letter fluttered to the floor.

Dark magic is the only magic discipline that your school doesn’t teach and forbids the practice of. Unfortunately it is also the only discipline that you are any good at and so, year after year, you try your hardest to convince the school that dark magic can be used for more than just evil.

[ravenkings]

[krunkidile]

found you a new hat.

[yourangle-yuordevil]

They are smitten, I believe <3

[soappox]

they're amusing to me

[akiiame-blog]

I liked this little moment here. Canonically anxious-but-well-hidden Mario my beloved 💕

[clingyduoapologist]

What’s crazy about “what am I without you?” “Yourself!” Is that that it is genuinely such an insane line to conclude Tommy’s arc in season 2 like, because all season people have been expecting Tommy to be a certain thing. Tubbo wanted him to be more mature, Techno wanted a loyal ally, Dream wanted a plaything. Throughout it all, Tommy’s struggled to say for himself who he is. And now, here at the end, when met with the prospect of never seeing his friend again, Tubbo tells Tommy that he’s himself. That that’s enough. That he will continue to be himself with or without him. Because through this whole season Tommy’s fucked up and been fucked over and made mistakes and suffered the consequences and that’s okay, that it’s who he is, and that it’s all he has to be.

[shouyuus]

okay but when fiance!sylus takes you dress shopping, you know you're in for an experience. bc... you think you're diva? no he's diva. but he also only acts like this bc he so intimately knows what you like, and also what makes you look good. so you'd barely step out of the dressing room in a new gown before he shakes his head, flicks his finger at the personal shopper like "next", barely glances at a dress on the rack before shaking his head and asking for the next one.

when you hesitate over a gown that the harried personal shopper says is the season's most exclusive design, he only cocks his eyebrows at you in the mirror, giving a tiny shake of his head. you deflate, glancing back at him like

"but... don't you think it looks good?"

he scoffs, "course it looks good, you're the one wearing it. you could wear a plastic bag, and it'd look good, but that's not the point right? you wanted something stunning, and this isn't it."

you sigh, clearly a little tired, and he only clicks his tongue, but his gaze is soft when he tugs you into his chest, twisting a strand of your hair around his forefinger, thumbing at the ends. he glances down a the massive diamond on your finger and smirks.

"we can do better," he murmurs, leaning in to graze his lips along your cheek, his voice low enough to rumble from his chest to yours.

"b-but we've tried on so many dresses already!" you say, even though you know you're just whining and that he's right. the dress is pretty, but it's not what you want in your heart of hearts.

sylus only pulls back and grins, lilting his head to one side as he looks down at you with those ruby-red eyes, his gaze molten.

"i can do better for you. and... i want to."

[qubyquby]

Even the baddies need some love. Hope ya'll enjoy Brothership

[unkillablegod]

i need to play with his hair and his beard and kiss him all over his stupid face

[theswedishpajas]

Just take it from me.

[ash2dusty]

I'm just sayin, peasley would've humbled starlow... or would've attempted to do so

[cymk8]

they are practicing their lifts don't tell coach jaheira

more of this self-indulgent ice skating au

[endsfunniesart]

i am infatuated with mario and luigi brothership

[akiiame-blog]

shout out to silly brothers dancing whimsically, gotta be my favorite gender