#love you too tho boston

[theabsoluteskulduggery]

Win this for me Minnesota Girlies

[inkskinned]

this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.

good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.

sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.

so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.

one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.

[somuchbetterthanthat]

Michael&Leon Fake Dating Plot For ReasonsTM except a day in they both realize that literally nothing has changed in their behaviour except some kissing. They're both baffled by this.

"Have we been dating this whole time?" Michael asks, bemused.

"...I'm starting to understand why Sofia didn't like you," Leon muses.

"Wait, Sofia didn't like me??????"

"I didn't say because I wanted to spare your feelings," Leon admits. "She wasn't subtle though."

Everybody else around the table is holding their breath. They're like. We're so close. We're so close to getting them to realize. We're witnessing an historical moment.

[piccolos-bigtoe]

HEY IF YOU STILL TAKE REQUESTS,,

Scout driving Sniper's Van

Haiiiiii yeas I still do take reqs :33 if they interest me enough anyways!!! I couldn't get this one off my mind <3 so thank you for requesting this pisslord. I never draw vehicles tho lol so it was a challenge!!! Drew this sorta quick to wind down from school work They're listening to Jane Child's Don't Wanna Fall in love song.... Headcanons/writings below... Sorrey for cringe, is posting writings cringe or is it in now? Obvi just a quick thang and unedited

...

Sniper is an extreme lightweight. It doesn't take much for him to get buzzed, one or two pale ales do him in easily. Being an honorary old man at the ripe age of 26 (or was it 27? 28? He forgets) he just falls asleep wherever he can manage. This being the case, he avoids drinking when he goes out (which is rare on its own) and sticks to doing it by himself in his camper. It wasn't until a while after he and Scout became friends that he drank in any company.

Scout had one day mentioned off-handedly that he never really learned how to drive. Growing up with a handful of brothers and in a poorer part of Boston, as the youngest of them a car wasn't going to be given to him anytime soon. It felt odd to Sniper that something so integral to his being, the ability to freely travel whenever wherever, was something that the runner had never really experienced.

"I'll teach ya." Though of course the only car he had to teach in was his precious camper that has been with him through thick and thin, he didn't have to give much thought to the offer. Scout was smarter than people gave him credit for, he couldn't mess it up too much. And a more dramatic part of him felt bad that someone as free-spirited and independent as Scout didn't have (what Sniper considered anyways) a basic necessity to freedom.

"Aw for real man? Hell Snipes you barely even let people look at the friggen' van, you sure about this?"

"yep. I'll let you take a crack at it, sure."

And so Sniper taught Scout how to drive, and he took to it fairly quickly. Though the runner doesn't have his license, he is 'Sniper Approved. The few times he's gotten pulled over, he pulls out his approval badge and they let him go (he pulls out his bat and smacks their shit up).

And this leads into Scout being Snipers designated driver. Since Sniper has someone he trusts enough to drive the van, he's safe to drink whenever they all go out. Scout is not the biggest fan of drinking himself ('what's the point of drinking sumn' nasty just to get all sick n' dizzy?'), plus being sober means he has an advantage in pool and any card games.

Whenever Sniper asks for him to drive them back he typically goes "ah fine whateva! I'll drive, AGAIN." It means more to him than he lets on that Sniper trusts him enough to have broken his unspoken never drinking out rule and let him drive his camper. Though that's not something he would ever openly admit.

The same way Sniper would never admit that half the time he doesn't drink enough to get tired. He just pretends to sleep so he can sneak looks at Scout as the scenery of the New Mexico night passes by the window.

[eddiesangels]

after tit.

I don’t even wanna leave this parking spot. like this was genuinely one of the best days of my life. the people were amazing, my seat was amazing. I think I need to schedule an eye doctors appointment tho. they’re actually real. seeing them during the q&a was crazy work. I was most shocked by dan for some fucking reason. like he’s there. maybe cause he was closer but my god bruh. I was giggling kicking my feet not even kidding. they didn’t read my question but it’s ok, there was a fuck ton put in.

who wants to buy me another ticket for another show. not even kidding. and I spent so much on merch, and I accidentally tipped 14 bucks bruh. said 10% so I’m thinking 2 bucks. no fricking 14 BUCKSSSS.

ugh.

guys, dan howell really said something when he said that thing about embracing the cringe cause I embraced it so hard today in my phreddy phazbear fit.

also I did cry at the beginning of the show, like full tears fell. but that’s it. didn’t tear up at the nice little moment towards the end. cried when they came out. it was that fuck ass intro with the hi my name is phil and fuck

I think I need to be a youtuber

no cause they’re living their dream together and doing stupid shit for people like us whom are also them and bruhhhhhhhhh

someone was reading fanfiction during the intermission

sorry, I also haven’t done anything in 5ever. so maybe that’s also. I’m gonna take the backroads home cause I don’t wanna drive on the Boston highway rn at night

love you all. thank you for the ticket, thank you for saying hi, thank you for being there, thank you dan and phil, thank you this free parking spot I found.

gang don’t kill yourself 😂😂😂🙂‍↕️😎

- update. I’ve been sitting in my car for 20 minutes. <3 also might take highway but the lights r too bright !

was thinking of stalking dnp van but that’s too much work (joke)

[ratlordsarah]

more word girl HCs bc this blog is going dry 💀

miss question, lady redundant woman, and Leslie have girls nights out, but they always end up where they wake up crawling out of a dumpster, wake up in a Forrest completely barefoot in 60 degree F weather swarmed by deer, makes it back to one of the three’s places, all of them drunk-crying about how much they love a dog they saw earlier, wake up with a new stray dog as a pet, or some other form of ominous nuanced way to end the night out. (You will have the time of your life)

Two brains def goes on long car rides during the summer as the sun sets, blasting 80s songs down the highway, and makes it back some time in the middle of the night (bro absolutely lives for that, he sings along with more passion than a passion fruit or something)

the girlie trio mentioned earlier, all 3 of them are abba girlies, no one can change my mind.

sometimes, the girl trio and two brains will do a mix of their activities, and they ride around and two brains is doing drifts all over the city while all 4 of them are singing whatta man by salt n pepa, at the top of their lungs

Charlie and meatloaf love doing anything involved with a disco party (they are 70s babies for life)

the show starts in august of 1999 and ends in February 2002

Toby sings along to all the Eminem songs, but can’t rap so it sounds more like a mumble

(Partly canon) miss question and Brent later get married and has a kid who is a very curious sandwich

chuck has the pack man maze burnt into his screen from playing it so much

Seymour and granny may are either half siblings, or cousins. (I gotta make them related, their chemistry would be absolutely legendary)

Seymour is OLDDD (at least in his 60s)

two brains knows how to speak mouse and because of this, he basically has the basement of his warehouse (or attic) dedicated to the rats and mice of fair city. (A majority of his friends are mice, he will hang out with some of them and genuinely forget they aren’t human)

due to the amount of trials two brains goes through each time he’s arrested, and sally botsford being the district attorney, two brains and sally actually become really good friends

two brains is actually really good at becoming genuine friends with people’s moms, it’s insane.

Timmy Tim Bo later makes a band where he’s a backup singer/ guitarist, and can do a little drums too.

Hal hardbargain and big left hand guy are both functional alcoholics

beau handsome’s parents are French, and is a victim of child acting.

lady redundant woman becomes a crazy cat lady, and adopts like 30 cats

(A lot of people I’ve seen has this hc, no idea where it originated from, but here we go) amazo guy’s name is Adam, and he definitely had a pet golden retriever

on the topic of that, I like to think he also is from lexicon, and he’s wordgirl’s biological father or uncle, and Steven’s original friendship with word girl was asked from amazo guy to try and get closer to his daughter/neice, but they all basically became the bestest of friends (and wordgirl looked up to both amazo and Steven very much)

I also feel like amazo (or Adam ) genuinely loves fighting crime, and basically is like Superman in fair city

fair city is either located in New Jersey or California

Steven’s sister is named Marcy, and his niece is named Maggie (called mags tho)

squeaky was genetically modified and his brain was basically originally fused with a psycho’s brain where it’s basically a human thinking mouse with mouse like tendencies, before Steven bought him, which is why he was on sale (for negative 200$)

The butcher would be girl dad of the year

when Steven is really angry (once in a life time) he does the Italian 🤌 thing, and he grew up in Brooklyn NY

due to him growing up in New York, two brains was certainly most pissed when 9/11 happened out of the villains

chuck grew up in Boston before his family moved to fair city about 7 years prior to the show

idk if I have previously said any of these in an earlier post, so sorry if I have lmao 💀

[waitmyturtles]

THE MORNING AFTER: ONLY FRIENDS, EPISODE 11 -- 1 OUTTA 3 AIN'T BAD

Preamble! I had a HELL of a day yesterday, woof. So if this comes out garbled, y'all will know why. I'll try to keep this short, but... I'm likely lying to myself, let's see.

TW: FORCEBOOK -- I'm going to say a few words about ForceBook below, so if words about ForceBook are not your thing, please move along!

I'm gonna start this post with thoughts on the three main pairs, and then get some last little thoughts out at the end.

a) I have a feeling that I don't need to write THAT much, because the lovelies @lurkingshan (here), @neuroticbookworm (here), and @chicademartinica (here) all covered the top points of this episode nicely: this episode was a BostonNick WIN. On Nick, dear Chica nailed it so hard that I will have to link AND screenshot her m'fucker:

And Boston, BOSTON, MY MAN! MY MAN! MY MAN!

(Nick says the first line below, with Boston saying the second:)

Fuckin' a. There are two reasons why I STANNED BostonNick in this episode.

1) First of all, as you see above, Nick still had to be a tiny bit of a shit. Nick was in Atom's shoes once. Nick remembers the feeling of having feelings for someone who didn't have feelings back for him. So Nick took a little passive aggressive dig at Boston by calling Boston's sex and predilections "terrible."

And Boston shot back at Atom -- and maybe indirectly at Nick -- with his perspective on sex: "[h]ow can you love me after sleeping together just once?"

I've written before (and forgive the foggy mom brain, but I believe @emotionallychargedtowel has also written on this), that the hormonal experience of sex can impact people in incredibly different ways. Some people, like Boston, feel no connection with the person he's slept with after sex; other people, like Nick and Atom, catch feelings. All of it is normal.

What happened in the dialogues that we were privy to earlier in the series vis à vis Nick and Atom was that WE, the audience, heard THEIR perspectives, and the narratives allowed US to contemplate sympathizing for them -- by playing off of a general assumption that an audience would JUDGE people like Boston for having casual sex. Boston's positions on sex (heh) pissed off people like Nick and Atom! So Boston got fuckin' wiretapped and smeared by these dudes.

However: BOSTON REMAINED CONSISTENT, CONSTANT, AND ACCOUNTABLE to his position, AT ALL TIMES, that he wasn't someone who caught feelings after casual sex. I am sure for many sectors of the Only Friends audience, that this may not have been easy to parse, especially considering the very early and popular judgements levied against Boston. (For the record, I never took Boston as a predator, and I established my thoughts early in the series run on this as rhetoric about Boston's "badness" around sex was flying around. I'm a Khai girlie. Boys, girls, and non-binary friends can be playas, too, and deserve to enjoy their sex lives without judgement.)

What I UTTERLY admire about the pace of this series vis à vis BostonNick is that it took its TIME in establishing Boston's AGENCY to be able to LEVY his position on sex SO STRONGLY and CLEARLY, with Nick's support. While much of the series allowed the popular and condemning rhetoric to swirl around Boston, this scene put a fuckin' NAIL in that coffin. I believe this scene said: you can't only listen to one side, the crying, sobbing side of a person who wants another person after a one-night stand. You HAVE to listen to both sides. The hormonal aspect of wanting to be close to your sex partner is valid, but also -- if the other side is talking, you MUST listen to what the other side is SAYING.

Boston was always clear about his position -- and Nick and Atom HAD to take responsibility for their unreasonable demands from Boston after their one-night stands with him; unreasonable, because Boston CLEARLY stated to the both of them that he wasn't a relationship guy, and would not be forced into it. And both of them ignored those statements, and all hell broke loose, TWICE.

2) HOWEVER! Boston realized, after spending more time with Nick than with any other sex partner, and after he lost his friends, that he HAD caught feelings for his fave, his Nick! Remember last week, when I got all mewdy that MONOGAMY might be the dramatic device that the show would use to "redeem" Boston? BLECH.

DAMN, did this episode SPIN THAT AROUND for me. GOD, I LOOOOOOOOOOVED THAT CONVO WITH NICK AND BOSTON ABOUT FIGURING OUT THEIR STATUS!!!!!

Paraphrasing! "I want to spend the next few months loving on you," or whatever Boston says?! FUCK, YES! Nick, all OVER this, setting boundaries, allowing himself TIME and SPACE to figure out what's best for him, with both Dan and Boston! SHIT, MARK PAKIN SHOWED UP! Omg, BostonNick for the win.

My head's spinning, because that was seriously one of the BEST conversations I've seen written in a drama about the consideration of a relationship and a status check. That impressed me as much as Pharm asking Dean for a break in UWMA -- and then Pharm straight up LIVING HIS LIFE, BBQ pork grills and all, without Dean for a few months.

And. Boston was cool with Nick's boundaries and thoughtfulness. Boston knows what he wants, but he's not gonna push Nick into anything. Boston knows time is ticking, but will wait for Nick's answer.

It was so cool to see. My heart was full.

So that pairing, the NeoMark/BostonNick pairing -- SOLID.

b) Moving on! Thanks to @lurkingshan, I got clarity on what the fuq was happening with Sand and Boeing. At first, I thought Boeing was a little SHIT for showing up to Sand and stirring unnecessary drama in his ex's life after getting rejected by Mew. (Mond, though. 🤤)

But, as Shan pointed out to me in my insane day yesterday: Sand has a problem saying no to dudes. (Homey, RELATE.) So like, then they all go back to Ray's place, and Ray KNOWS that Sand has trouble setting boundaries and saying no, because that's what Sand's mom said to Ray, but also, that's the way Sand's been engaging with Ray himself, and Ray will DEF know what will be up if Sand gets closer to Boeing again, and Ray's like, uh, come into my pool so we can nip this in the bud?, but no, we know what Jojo's thinking, so.

I mean, have sex already, you three, chop chop. I see the FirstKhao gworls on my dash not happy about not having a complete episode of SandRay peace, which I get, but also, this continues to reiterate my bleh on Sand, which like -- get a backbone, Sand. You have a literal boyfriend now, and you're still not saying no to dudes? What if Mild strolled in for a foursome? (NO, DON'T TURN THAT DOWN, SAND, DON'T.) But I'm just saying -- maybe listen to a person in your life, like your mom, to set some boundaries, like your roommate. I'm throwing my hands up in the air on this one, but at least we may get our threesome, and, Mond.

c) Okay, last pair! TopMew. For a hot second, I was impressed with Top.

I liked this, ::waves index finger in a circle::, this worked.

But I have decided. I'm done with ForceBook. I just -- please remember the TW, FB girls. I'll get back to TopMew in a second as characters, but this was my first ForceBook show, and it might be my last. Watching them is as exciting to me as breaking down Amazon boxes.

We have seen Mew waffle this whole dang series. (WELCOME BACK, THE ONLY FRIENDS VENGEFUL WAFFLE! HEART YOU, @starryalpacasstuff!)

And there was more Mew waffling, more talking to moms, and Top is just like, I'm gonna peace out, DEUCES, and then, OF COURSE, HE COMES BACK INTO THE KITCHEN, LIKE HE NEVER LEFT THE HOUSE AFTER SAYING HE WOULD (I cackled), and then they're together in bed. And now they'll move in together.

This was a BIT of a storyline ride. But -- and I HAVE TO ADMIT, part of this is my tiredness talking -- I'm just kinda bored of ForceBook at this point. Do I actually get the sense that Top is *excited* about Mew moving in? Do I get the sense that Top and Mew *love* each other? I.... don't! Is it the chemistry between ForceBook? I.... I think so? I think so!

And, so... Mew will try to convince Ray to accept Top in the next episode? I dunno. (Episode 12 previews, we've learned to distrust them.) As much as I want to try to sit here to analyze TopMew at this point, I kinda just wanna throw my hands up in the air and be like, I'll leave these characters to fiction. And I think it's because I was unfortunately spoiled by the FANTASTIC chemistry emanating out of Neo, Papang, Mark, First, and Mond in this episode (MARK! MONNND. PAPANGGGG.).

I have to admit it, and I'm sorry to admit it. ForceBook do nothing for me, acting-wise and chemistry-wise, and I am done struggling with analyzing TopMew. I'll let 'em be.

d) Last thoughts! Bye, Cheum. We haven't had enough of Nonnie in this series, and I wanna see Nonnie as April dump Cheum's ass and break shit in episode 12, the way Nonnie's real-life brother goes and breaks shit on social media. Way to hold no one, including yourself, truthfully accountable, Cheum.

(What in the. I would love a Soonvijarn episode on Jojo's thoughts on Cheum one day.)

Anyway, bye, B.

THAT'S ALMOST IT! Ephemerality? I hope Boston makes a whole bunch of righteous new homies in NYC. This whole series has made me sick and tired of proximate friends, lol. We'd better see Mond suck face with Khao and First. Andddd, bleep, bloop, that's all I got!

HOME BASE NEXT WEEK, FAM!

[EPHEMERALITY SQUAD, second-to-last weekend meta for ya! @slayerkitty (SK... I am so tired, lol), @ranchthoughts, @chickenstrangers, @twig-tea, @neuroticbookworm, @lurkingshan, @distant-screaming, @clara-maybe-ontheroad, @thatgirl4815]

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Korea drops my favorite cameo ever & gives KISSES

Entirely subjective yadda yadda. Organized sorta by favs in each category.

Sept 2023 Wk 1

Ongoing Series - Thai

I Feel You Linger in the Air (Fri grey) ep 4 of 12 - Well that’s one way to find out if he’s gay, see how he reacts to reading a het sex scene out loud. Yai is flirting so hard it’s like he knows everything. 

Dangerous Romance (Fri YT) ep 4 of 12 - Oh no! I love them. Also cohabitation trope! Also ALL the other ones: hair dry, meet in childhood... GMMTV going no frills with this one.

Hidden Agenda (Sun YT) ep 9 of 12 - Zo’s drama over Pat helping Joke flirt seems awfully manufactured. I’m losing faith in this show. Could GMMTV PLEASE hand JoongDunk a decent script? 

Only Friends (Sat YT) ep 5 of 10 - Sand & Ray are the only interesting couple, and I’m pretty much only watching for them. They gonna go south fast, tho, and they're already ruined by persistent singing. Ooo. When Sand said Top "stole his ex" did he mean Boston? How gay. 

Naughty Babe (Sat YT) ep 2 of 8 - The pronoun conversation had a bonkers translation but I enjoyed the actuality of it. The reasons for Yi's trickery are very convoluted soap opera. But I suppose that is the amnesia trope for you. 

Be Mine Super Star (Mon Viki) ep 10 of 12 - Boys. We discussed this already. No sex in onsens! I found this one dull, until the end when LLS showed up. Happy to just have him in everything. Thank you Thailand. Looks like it is a classic ep 11 DOOM next week. Who cares? 

Venus in the Sky (Tues iQIYI) 1-2 of 10 eps - The usual Thai pulp claptrap this time a reunion romances in and around a convenience store between a boy who recently quit his job and his former bestie who is now a doctor. Mostly not great acting, plot, or production but the sound is okay and no bad effects or singing (so far), so that’s something. The gay brothers have a fun relationship. It’s vampy and campy but fun. I like it but not sure anyone else would.

Love in Translation (Sat iQIYI) ep 4 of 10 - The date was cute but I still don’t like the lead or the premise (we moved into Cyrano de Bergerac territory). It’s moving slowly but it seems like we might be over the crush/stalker part of the narrative, so that’s a relief. 

Crazy Handsome Rich (Sun Gaga) ep 2 of 10 - I just can’t. The sound is too weird. With punch down humor and other issues incoming I may DNF this. You’ve been warned. This ep we got to see LLS with his shirt off. Did anything else happen? 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Jun & Jun (Korea Thur Viki) ep 8fin - No wonder he is everyone’s favorite hyung, boy can read the room like no one else. I love that we got to see exactly how clingy and demanding Choi Jun was always going to be. Only Lee Jun is easy-going enough to put up with him. Also I’ve never watched a KBL with more innuendo. For Korea this was… raunchy. I gotta say had Laws of Attraction not come along, Simon might have been my favorite character of 2023.

Final thoughts on Jun and Jun:

A delightful office romance about an ex-idol who joins cubical life only to find his new boss is his first love. Others boys are sniffing around too. Operative word being "sniffing" as much of this romance involves smell. With a snappy script, enjoyable sides, a pretty as peaches cast, and descent chemistry this show made up for in style what it lacked in substance. I like fluff. I loved this. I smiled every moment I was watching. With tons of rewatch potential (especially the last few eps), my only caution is this is for fans of the BL genre only, I don’t think it’ll work for anyone else. A solid 9/10 from me. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

I like that Korea is trying high heat, but Taiwan and Thailand are leaps and bounds better at it.

Love Class Season 2 (Korea Fri Viki) eps 9-10fin -

Omg they so cute as flirty bf. Eeeeeeee! CAMEO!!!!! My fav guest couple ever! So exciting!!!! I love that they intersected with MY Strongberry couple (Private Lessons). I’m not used to this but Holy innuendo Korea, what with Jun & Jun and now this show? It’s a bit much for my gay little heart. The final episode was entirely unnecessary, but it was fun to see them being all domestic and stuff. Maru with his dumb lettuce leaves was hilarious. I feel like I need to rewatch this one to really understand it properly, so I will likely do that soon.

Summary of Love Class 2:

3 couples form within a semester of university: 1. a hyung romance reunion of exes, one of whom has a dangerous past, 2. a friends to lovers romance, and 3. a mature student and TA one night stand + complexities (many aspects of which had me laughing). I enjoyed the characters and dialogue of this show immensely. It was a little bit more breezy and friendly than I was expecting after the first installment, Love Class. I’m not entirely sure Korea can handle multiple couples like this because it definitely felt disjointed, especially the 3rd more mature couple (also my favorite) who probably should’ve had their own series. But it was definitely fun and something different from Korea. 8/10 RECOMMENDED

Also, Korea tried to give us higher heat... that was... interesting. I mean, you tried hon...?

Kisseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan Tues Viki & iQIYI) ep 4 of 13(?) - Everyone is a sad sack this ep. Ooooo. Teach/student my favorite. We never get this one. It’s messy. I’m not sure if there is a plot. I’m not sure they’re sure if there is a plot. But I am still enjoying it.

Why R U? (Korea Wed iQIYI) eps 5-6 of 8 - Why is the Fighter character always so frustrating regardless of name or country? Ji Oh stalking his crush via IG is so relatable. He’s very first crush awkward, unsure, and sweet. They also gave a nice kiss - I love the backpack drop (kiss version of a mic drop?) I still hold that if you haven’t seen the original this might not make much sense. But I am enjoying it. 

My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 4 of 8 - Oh goody, another JBL where we have to pay attention solely to what they do and not what they say. 

Minato's Laundromat Season 2 AKA Minato Shouji Coin Laundry Season 2 (Japan Thu Gaga) ep 9 of 12 - Big fat sigh. 

It's Airing But...

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) ep 3 of 24 eps - I couldn't get hold of it and I'm not mad. I'm putting it on hold until distribution gets sorted, or icky get their shizz in order (like that'll happen).

Next Week Looks Like This:

Starting

9/15 You Are Mine (Taiwan Gaga) Secretary has to deal with grumpy boss.

9/15 Bump Up Business AKA Bump Up Project (Korea movie) suspected cinema release? I don't know much about what's going on. Last status update. Love story between a trainee who is about to debut and a celebrity from the same agency. Kpop boy group OnlyOneOf has signed up to star in this idol-based BL (based on a webtoon). They’ve been auditioning for this since Libido IMHO. You can watch me chronicle their BL MV series in this post. It’s from Idol Romance who will do sad but can do good kisses (Wish You, Nobleman Ryu, Once Again, Kissable Lips, Poongduck 304, Tasty Florida, Tinted With You).

Still To Come In September

9/26 I Cannot Reach You AKA I Can't Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai (Japan ????) - Adapted from the manga, childhood best friends: The cool, smart one who’s good at everything, and his average, dorky friend who struggles. Always by the other’s side, but not together in the way they truly want to be. No matter how hard they try, their hearts cannot reach each other.

9/27 Absolute Zero (Thai iQIYI) - from 2021, Studio Wabi Sabi and New Siwaj finally bring us this “time loop to prevent tragedy” romance. We don’t always get HEAs from them, so I'm on my guard.

9/27 Bon Appetit (Korea iQIYI) - from 2022, 8 eps from GoGo Studio, romance between an office worker who lives off junk food and the man next door who cooks well.

9/? Mr Cinderella 2 (Vietnam YouTube?)

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

I love him. And I love his version of this character better than Jimmy's.

I also love it when a show gets meta. (Both Why R U? Korea) Why they didn't just go for YRU? the world may never know.)

(Last week) 

[chrisgotitall]

Hi can you do one where reader and Mike share a moment on stage or smt? I just want to give you a canvas for inspiration so you can use your inventiveness :))

girl you read my mind, i already had this idea in my drafts

So reader is a musical actress, she acts, dances and sings. She was offered the chance to do a mini tour in theaters and auditoriums. So she was now traveling around North America, Canada and the UK. She was so excited to do this, she was having the time of her life and she was also having the chance to have her pop-star moment even if she was singing Broadway hits.

She already did 9 shows, she’s been in Atlanta, Nashville, San Diego, Los Angeles, Boston, Salt Lake City, New York, Seattle, Austin and now it was Columbus’ turn. 

Mike had come to 6 of her shows and he didn’t make it to the other three for work. She decided to call him. 

“Ehi, love” he greeted her.

“Hi, baby” she said back, smiling widely just by hearing his voice.

“What’s up? Is everything going well on the tour?” he said, he was clearly eating while speaking. 

“Yes, absolutely, everything is super great. It’s been the best thing really” she explained to him.

“Oh so… the best thing is the tour?” he said, sounding extremely disappointed but also sarcastic.

“Oh shut it. You know you’re my best thing above everything. Plus, I told you to come with me on tour but you took some extra work instead” 

She was actually grateful he was working and enjoying the projects he was in but she also thought he was putting too much pressure on himself and apart from that, she really missed him.

“You know I would have died if I had nothing to do,” he said, chuckling. She chuckled too knowing it was completely true.

“I need to ask you something and I would love for you to accept this, so say you’ll accept this even if you don’t want to do it” she had this idea in mind for weeks now and she was finally going to ask him now that the Columbus date was so close.

“Doesn’t seem like I have much of a choice, does it?” 

She could hear the smile in his response.

“I’m coming to Ohio this weekend…” she said, lingering on the word “weekend”. 

“Mmh mmh” he said.

“And you’re there… so I was thinking.. you could come…” she was really stalling on the request. 

“I already told you I’ll be there in Columbus,” he said, reminding her. He did, in fact, tell her he was going to come to her show that week.

“Yeah, but I was thinking you could come and be my guest for this show…” she finally let it out, waiting for his answer even if she told him there was no refusing this.

“Baby…” 

But he was trying anyway to tell her no. And she tried everything to make it possible, she couldn’t wait to share the stage with him. It’s been a long time since their first job together and she thought it was time for a revival.

“Mike, please, it’s going to be so amazing! I want to sing with you!” 

She finally made him give in and she was so proud of herself but also happy that she was finally going to perform with him on stage after a long time.

“You know I love you like crazy, right?”

“You better, girlie” 

“You didn’t say it back!”

“I love you… not so crazy tho” 

“I’ll make it up to you”

She hung up the phone.

Saturday arrived and so did Mike. He showed up at her door with flowers and dinner, which they had very early before the show. 

“It’s gonna be fun” she told him when he stood there looking at her while chewing his burger. He responded with a not so convinced nod of his head. She sat on his lap and hugged his neck with her arms. 

“Told you I’d make it up to you” she said, kissing him sweetly. He hugged her waist and got lost in the kiss because he missed her so much. A knock on the door and a voice signaled them that the show was about to start. She kissed his cheek and got up.

On stage, she sang some songs alone first and then it was finally time to introduce him.

“Okay everybody, for this night I wanted to do something special… partly because this is already the 10th show…” 

A roar of applause welcomed her words.

“And partly because this is the hometown of someone really special to me”

This roar was way greater and louder than the one before. She smiled widely because she knew they already knew who she was talking about.

“Everybody please welcome on stage the talented… exceptional… remarkable… and outstanding… Mike Faist” 

The crowd did indeed welcome him warmly. He got on stage smiling politely at everyone. She took his hand and gave him a microphone.

They sang some songs together, mostly from Dear Evan Hansen or Hadestown. People enjoyed it so much, seeing them together on stage felt so intimate, it was their moment and they were amazing.

After their set of songs, she hugged him tightly causing another roar of applause from the crowd. She was happy she got him to sing with her on stage.

And as promised, when they got home, she made it up to him.

[warnersister]

INSTAMAGINE: DANNY RIC DATING AN ELITE RUNNER Pt.2

Daniel Ricciardo x Reader

Daniel Ricciardo x Runner! Reader

For the anon that asked for this😘

Part 1 🔙🔙

youruser

youruser: still can’t believe it. Boston you gave me your worst and I gave you my best. A record holder. Thank you ❤️

📍: Boston Marathon Finish Line

🏷️: bostonmarathon, nnrunningteam

❤️: danielricciardo, redbullracing, bostonmarathon and 23,375,284 others

💬:

danielricciardo: can’t explain how proud of you I am, most nerve wracking two hours of my life but I knew what you are capable of. thinking I might retire and give the WAG life a go❤️

-> youruser: danielricciardo seeing you at the finish line was the best moment of the whole race, couldn’t have finished without you shouting from the sidelines❤️

kipchogeeliud: well done, my friend. All proud of what you accomplished 🙏🧡

-> youruser: kipchogeeliud my mentor, my coach, my friend. 🧡

redbullracing: nah sorry, currently fangirling🤭🥲

maxverstappen1: awesome achievement🔥 racer to racer

-> youruser: maxverstappen1 thanks Max😆, race soon?👀👀

-> user1: maxverstappen1 yn at Danny’s race soon? 🤔

nnrunningteam: we knew. We knew what the ln was capable of and she proved it.

youruser

youruser: here’s to a year of dragging you along❤️

📍: Trails

🏷️: danielricciardo

❤️: danielricciardo, redbullracing, emmajanelbates and 2,647,024 others

💬:

danielricciardo: I’m getting old and you need to learn that hill reps are not a replacement for breakfast🥲

-> michaelitaliano: danielricciardo you are getting fitter mate

-> youruser: danielricciardo we get breakfast before and after stop complaining old man🥰

emmajanelbates: group run soon? 🥰

-> youruser: emmajanelbates ofc

user1: A YEAR????? HOW DID NONE OF US NOTICE?!?!

-> user2: user1 idek

danielricciardo

danielricciardo: a year of carbs, cramps and a Boston Champ🥰 I love you @/youruser❤️❤️

📍: home

🏷️: youruser

❤️: youruser, redbullracing, bostonmarathon and 28,835,288 others

���:

youruser: you’re only in it for the carbs be fr🥰

-> danielricciardo: youruser shush😘😘😘

-> landonorris: danielricciardo ur girlfriend fed me a milkshake last week, watch ur back

-> danielricciardo: landonorris you started crying and fell off of the pavement when you couldn’t remember your room number, we’ll be fine.

redbullracing: screaming, crying, throwing up🥰

-> youruser: redbullracing me on a long run

F1NEWS

F1NEWS: REDBULL DRIVER, DANIEL RICCIARDO SPOTTED ON THE STREETS OF MONACO WITH ELITE RUNNER GIRLFRIEND, YN LN -> SEEMS SHE HAS ALSO TAKEN THE EYE OF ANOTHER DRIVER👀 LOVE TRIANGLE???

📍: Monaco Grand Prix

🏷️: F1, danielricciardo, youruser

❤️: f1dailys, wagsoff1 and 71,684 others

💬:

user1: who’s the third?? Those two are for-lifer🤨

-> user2: user1 frfr

-> user3: user1 apparently it’s Charles

-> ynrunner: user3 yeah I heard that too but I think our girly has tunnel vision for the Aussie🥰

wagnewsweekly: our fav Brit/Aussie duo😍

dannyswife: nobody is gonna get in the way of their relationship or I’ll throw hands🥊🥊😡

-> riccy3: dannyswife THIS

youruser

youruser: girls track sesh? Yes pls.

📍: Stade Alfred Depège, Bourges France

🏷️: emmajanelbates, sarahall3, em_sisson_, samanthaharrison95… 2 others

❤️: danielricciardo, nnrunningteam, sarahall3 and 897,274 others

💬:

danielricciardo: I was the camera man. Photo credz babe??🙄📸

-> emmajanelbates: danielricciardo ur an honorary girly at this point

-> youruser: danielricciardo ☝️

em_sisson_: danielricciardo I’ve never seen anybody chug a beer mid track session before

-> danielricciardo: em_sisson_ you get used to it

-> sarahall3: danielricciardo it was 9 AM

-> danielricciardo: sarahall3 it’s 5 o’clock somewhere

-> youruser: danielricciardo my alcoholic🥰

-> danielricciardo: youruser I need it to deal with Max🥲🥲💔💔

danielricciardo

danielricciardo: her version of a track sesh vs mine. She’s cute tho so I’ll let it slide I suppose😙❤️ I have to take the bike out for a spin, can’t keep up anymore😅

📍: Stade Alfred Depège, Bourges France

🏷️: youruser

❤️: youruser, maxverstappen1, f1wags and 1,285,924 others

💬:

maxverstappen1: youruser personally I wouldn’t let that slide. Confiscate his bike and make him struggle

-> youruser: maxverstappen1 he takes my speed shoes when I do that🥲

redbullracing: happy wife happy life

-> danielricciardo: redbullracing more like dead husband = happy exhausted wife

-> F1FAN: danielricciardo HE CALLED HER IS WIFE I CAN FHSBTJEJF

-> motorsportwags: F1FAN IM DYING I CANT THEY’RE TOO PERFECT

danielricciardo

danielricciardo: now it’s my turn to shine @/youruser😘

📍: Monte-Carlo Monaco

🏷️: youruser, redbullracing, F1

❤️: F1, youruser, maxverstappen1 and 2,484,025 others

💬:

youruser: + my turn to enjoy the wag life🥰

-> carmenmundt: youruser hmu girl x 😙

-> danny<3: carmenmundt THE WAY THEY ARE ADOPTING YN I ACTUALLY CANT

-> danielricciardo: youruser feel free to retire from running and be a stay at home mum, no objections from me😘😘

-> youruser: danielricciardo a few more years left in me darling not that easy unfortunately xx 😘😘

F1FAN: what do you have to say about the Charles situation?

-> danielricciardo: F1FAN who?

-> user1: danielricciardo THE SHADE NOO

F1

F1: RUNNING LEGEND YN LN WAVING THE CHEQUERED FLAG AT THE MONACO GRAND PRIX TO SEE HER LOVER BOY FINISH IN P1❤️🥇

📍: Monte-Carlo Monaco

🏷️: youruser, danielricciardo

❤️: youruser, danielricciardo, charles_leclerc and 7,834,174 others

💬:

maxverstappen1: bro pushed harder so his girl would be impressed

-> danielricciardo: maxverstappen1 and ur still single?

-> maxverstappen1: danielricciardo hide ur wife😍

F1FAN: love her

-> ynwifer: F1FAN can’t get over those two

charles_leclerc: good to see her there

-> ynrunner: charles_leclerc bro what🤨🥊

-> landonorrisisbae: charles_leclerc side eye

youruser: was an honour❤️☺️

-> danielricciardo: youruser so is waking up next to you daily❤️

-> f1sportz: danielricciardo oh okay bro is MAD whipped I gotchu 😉

youruser

youruser: LETS F*CKING GO DANNY NEVER A DOUBT❤️🔥 + was an honour to be given the opportunity to raise the flag at such a significant event in the race calendar🤍

📍: Monte-Carlo Monaco

🏷️: danielricciardo, redbullracing, F1

❤️: danielricciardo, F1, charles_leclerc and 2,284,294 others

💬:

danielricciardo: my good luck charm🥰🍀

-> youruser: danielricciardo must’ve taken your Boston spirit🥰

-> danielricciardo: youruser didn’t need spirit when my girl is making history❤️

-> youruser: danielricciardo carry on and I’ll marry you now.

-> danielricciardo: youruser don’t tempt me💍💍

-> ynrunningdairy: danielricciardo AHHH YES PLEASE

-> user1: ynrunningdairy I WILL SIMPLY PASS AWAY

danielricciardo: do I get an award?👀👀

-> youruser: danielricciardo trophy not enough? 🤨🥇🏆

-> danielricciardo: youruser👅👅

-> f1newsweek: danielricciardo keep it PG there are children here

-> landonorris: danielricciardo: my pure innocent eyes

charles_leclerc: nice to see you at a Grand Prix

-> youruser: sorry about your DNF Charles. All the best - yn.

-> FormulaDan: youruser NAH SHES SO PROFESSIONAL

-> user1: FormulaDan what a queen. The way she handled that. 🫶🫶

F1FAN: she’s so in love.

-> F1wagz: F1FAN whipped. 🥰🤚

-> youruser: F1FAN ☝️🤭

charles_leclerc

charles_leclerc: there is always a silver lining on dark and cloudy days. ☁️🩶 DNF but still sunny

📍: Monte-Carlo Monaco

🏷️: F1, scuderiaferrari

❤️: F1, pierregasly, scuderiaferrari and 8,274,284 others

💬:

F1: 💔

pierregasly: next year man🙏☝️

-> charles_leclerc: pierregasly 🤞🤞

F1FANATIC: Why is there a picture of yn

FormulaRic: why is there a photo of yn here?

F123: why is DR’s gf here?

F1Wags: what’s going on with you and yn?

F1FAN: @/danielricciardo @/youruser ?????

-> danielricciardo: F1FAN yet I’m the one getting laid tonight… oops. 🤷‍♀️☺️

-> honeybadger3: danielricciardo THE CONFIDENCE THIS MAN HAS IN YN AND HIM

-> danielricciardo: honeybadger3 gonna be with yn the rest of my life not going to let some teenager with a boner get in my head. She’s hot I don’t blame him

-> F1FAN: danielricciardo IM WHEEZING

-> ynrunner: danielricciardo TEENAGER IS AN ABSOLUTE VIOLATION WOAH

read other 789,284 comments

I have to make a part 3 I’m sorry it’s NEEDED😁😭

[inkskinned]

you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

[tieronecrush]

I have a request but it’s also infideltiy so I understand if you ignore this lol.

I’ve been thinking lately about a scenario where reader and Joel have been separated since the outbreak for a few years, reader starts dating some guy in the QZ she’s at, joel shows up and they reunite. Joel really tries to stay away and respect her relationship but they’re both too emotional and horny to resist. I really do love passionate reuinion sex tho!!!!

thank you so much for your request lovely nonnie! i switched it up just a lil bit to make the reader the one who shows up with her bf to boston where joel already is - hope that’s okay!!

muscle memory

joel miller x f!reader

rating: E (18+ only, MDNI)

word count: 6.5k

summary: when you flee the baltimore QZ to head to boston with your boyfriend and others, the last person you expect to see is joel miller. you had mourned him for years, having thought your last partner was lost to you forever. when the two of you start smuggling together, more time around each other only seems to strengthen your connection - to the point where neither of you can manage the tension anymore.

warnings: NO USE OF Y/N, no age specified, use of pet names (‘bonny’, ‘little lamb’, ‘sugar’), infidelity, previous relationship, mentions of death/loss, some angsty angst, alcohol use, mentions of drug use, fingering, oral (f receiving), unprotected p in v, cockwarming, dirty talk, praise, mild breeding kink, possessive!joel, soft!dom joel

Boston is an upgrade from Baltimore. At least in the state you left it; the Baltimore QZ had finally succumbed to Firefly occupation and FEDRA was forced out. Not that it really mattered to you, but it was another reason to add to the list. The biggest reason for your caravan up north was that your smuggling lines and connections had dried up. Like, completely. Either people found better deals or died on their journeys outside of the walls of whatever QZ they were from. You mostly dealt with Washington and Philly, both having been radio silent for weeks by the time your smuggling group made the decision to move on. You were welcoming the change; sure, the means to get there was full of uncertainty and danger, but the group you were with and your boyfriend of a few months, Danny, made you feel the slightest bit more confident trekking through the decimated country.

It’s been a few weeks since you all officially transitioned into the Boston QZ, registered under FEDRA, and having gone through your quarantine. You all settled into your government-assigned homes, you living with Danny and others grouping up to attempt to make these shabby walls feel like home.

It was easy to be with Danny. You two had known each other for years, done tons of runs together, and developed a comfortable friendship. Your relationship was born out of convenience -- after hooking up one night when you both needed to be taken care of, you stayed together. It was nice to have companionship, but it certainly wasn’t love.

You haven’t felt that way since Joel.

Joel Miller. Your partner when the world went to shit.

The two of you were together for a couple of years, and you were planning to move in with him at the start of the new year - 2004. It was supposed to be your year. Moving in with the love of your life and his daughter that you loved as if she were your own, probably getting engaged or just eloping with him, maybe even talking about growing your little family.

You loved your life before. You mourned it for years after the outbreak happened, knowing you likely wouldn’t see any part of it again.

When Outbreak Day happened, you weren’t with Joel. You weren’t even in Austin. It was the week of your mom’s 60th birthday, and she had begged you to come up north for a visit. You were supposed to fly home on September 26th. You were supposed to surprise Joel for his own birthday.

And then your flight got canceled. Rebooked for the following day.

And everything changed.

But that was years ago, now it’s 2010. Family members were long gone, friends made along the way lost, too. You grieved as well as you could with the way the world moved now. Despite searching for any sign of Joel, or Sarah, or even his brother Tommy, you accepted your fate to be alone and settled in Baltimore.

And now, you were accepting the fate that your new home would be Boston. Seemed like a decent replacement in your mind, and hearing about the smuggling business here made you eager to get involved.

The small group that you traveled with had arranged a meeting with two of the more prolific runners in the city. You weren’t given any details besides a meeting place and time, so when that night came, you and Danny made your way into the dilapidated storage building along with your friends from Baltimore.

You glanced around at the place, attention turning to the small huffs of frustration coming from your boyfriend next to you. He was fiddling with the zipper on his jacket, the grooves stuck in the fabric. Nimble fingers worked it loose as you stood amongst everyone, Danny’s lips pressing to your hairline in a sweet thanks.

There is no way in whatever is holy, if there even is anything out there, that Joel is seeing who he thinks he’s seeing. They must be a figment of his imagination. It’s been seven years.

And then he hears that laugh. This stranger has a laugh that he would recognize anywhere.

That’s your laugh. That smile is yours, too. And when you turn towards him finally, his gaze fixed on you since you entered the room, he meets your eyes. Those eyes that made his heart sing whenever they shined with joy, made him shatter when they were filled with tears, made him completely head over heels for you.

And right now, they were making it all come rushing back. The heartbreak, the loss, the grief, the love.

A small gasp escapes your mouth when you recognize him. He was aging, that much he knew. Had some grays sprinkled into his brown hair, his beard was just as patchy as it had been before. He had harsher lines on his face, the world wearing him down much quicker than it would if the outbreak never happened — if he never knew what loss was like.

You’re taking inventory of all of his changes, and he notices similar ones in you. Your hair is longer, even pulled back he can tell it’s inches past where you normally would keep it. There’s the faintest wrinkles next to your eyes, soft smile lines near your lips. Signs that you stayed light in the world of darkness. That made the pain in his chest lessen just the smallest amount.

He keeps checking that you’re still there during the entire meeting. Tess does the talking, some grumbles of rules coming from him, but he’s thankful that she’s taken the lead ‘cause he doesn’t know if he could get more than a handful of words out at a time. With arms crossed over his chest, he pinches his bicep as he glances at you again, assuring himself that he isn’t dreaming or having a bad trip from those pills he takes.

The rest of the meeting goes by quickly, plans are made for the next few runs to integrate the newest additions. He stays back, hoping that you would do the same. There was no way that he wasn’t going to talk to you; he’d run after you if you left.

Luckily for him, you had understood the subliminal messages in the short bits of eye contact he made with you.

The guy that was with you stayed, too, but he stood near the exit while you stepped closer to Joel.

With you right in front of him, he gave himself another quick pinch before clearing his throat. Just when he was about to break the growing awkward tension in the stale air, he heard your voice crack.

“Hi.”

That’s all you say, and suddenly he can’t help the grin that quips up to the side. A hushed chuckle exhales through his mouth shortly, eyes locking with yours.

“Hey there, bonny.”

He watches your shoulders drop from their frigid position, uneasiness visibly relaxing after the greeting. He grins wider, dimple deepening in his cheek as his chest tightens from the gentle reaction he’s gotten out of you.

He still had the tiniest bit of his accent. Especially when he said that nickname. Short for bluebonnet, Texas’s wildflower, which is where the name originated from. Joel called you his wildflower, and when you asked him what kind of flower one night, he told you he only knew bluebonnets. Typical proud Texan man. Eventually, the moniker turned into ‘bonny’.

It’s a nickname you hadn’t heard since your last phone call with him, disappointment evident in his voice when you had to confess that your planned surprise wasn’t going to happen and that you would be home the next day to celebrate with him belatedly.

“‘S alright, bonny. Sarah’s already got something planned for the two of us. Promised her I’d pick up a cake on the way home from the site.”

Your stomach had toiled with anxiety that day from his sadness that you were going to be missing from his birthday and that he was just missing you. This time around, hearing that same nickname roused your nerves from the thrill that it zipped down your spine, the sound of his voice around the words tingling in your ears.

The two of you make introductions to your respective tag-alongs, Joel to Danny and you to Tess. Greetings were passed and conversation flowed, the two of you skating around your history with company present, only divulging necessary details. You two dated before. That was it. They didn’t need to know how long, how serious, how you mourned the loss of him and the life you two built together.

Ignoring the past in conversation was easy. Ignoring the physical pull you felt towards him was more of a challenge. Heat crawls up your back and settles on the nape of your neck, tongue poking out to wet your lips every few moments. Fingertips itch to touch his skin, to trace the lines on his palms, and to brush over the scar on the right side of his face. One he didn’t have with you, and you wanted to know what it was from.

You wanted to know a lot from him. What these last seven years looked like for him. Once the conversation died down naturally, you faced Joel and asked him gently the first of the two most pressing questions you wanted answered.

“Where’s Tommy? Guessin’ the two of you are still glued to each other like you were back then,” you tack on a light laugh to your query, feeling the rush of panic as you realize that these answers you were wanting might not be answers that you want to hear. A lump forms in your throat as you wait for his response, a tender look on your face.

“He’s, uh, he’s here still. Doesn’t run with us though, he’s been getting into shit with the Fireflies here. Drives me insane, but you know how he is.”

“Always a joiner,” the words roll off your tongue and you bite down on it, cursing yourself internally for making fun of his brother without really knowing how this Joel would respond.

Relief washes over you when he laughs, not a full one, but nevertheless, you got to see a sliver more of that smile that had you smitten.

“Got that right. Tommy always wants to be a hero,” he shakes his head back and forth, an adoring smirk on his face as his stare lengthens and his mind is taken to his younger brother for a moment.

With the news of Tommy, you were even more eager to ask your second question. It gripped your heart, tugging it nearly out of your chest. Your voice softened as you spoke to him, eyes involuntarily watering in anticipation.

“And Sarah?”

Silence. As if the words catch in his throat and start to choke him from the inside. His eyes widen in loss of oxygen, chest still as he holds his breath. He can’t look away from you, eyes quickly pacing to hold contact with yours. They communicate desperation, as if he wants so badly to explain, to tell you what happened to his daughter that you loved, but he can’t get the words out of his airway.

It tells you everything, that look. You hadn’t lost your ability to read Joel, and the realization completely demolishes the composure you were attempting to maintain. Closing the gap between you, you focus on Joel as you wrap your arms around his waist, tight and full of compassion. Your head rests on his chest, facing to the side. Everything else in the room falls away, muscle memory moving your hands in circles against his lower back in the way you remember he loved. He’s tense in your arms, his own wrapping around your shoulders hesitantly until he feels the comforting touch. Tautness breaks from him, resting more of his weight against you as his head dips down to rest his chin on you and his eyes close.

Yours close too, and just for that moment, you’re back in his kitchen, sticky summer morning air coating the room from the open screen door. Cartoons squeak from the TV in the other room, and the smell of Joel’s French toast wafts from it’s crisping on the stove.

Domestic bliss. What could’ve been.

That hug has tormented Joel for weeks. The first time he saw you, the first time he heard your voice, the first time he held you after he thought he never would again. And that one time has unearthed a hunger for more. A need for you. Doesn’t matter if he’s around you or not, he can’t stop thinking about you.

When you’re on runs with him, he has one eye on you at all times. When it’s a route without your boyfriend, he feels a bit bolder; touches linger on your back as he guides you through obstacles or around your arms as he holds you back to get ahead of you to clear a room.

He’s been trying, so desperately trying, to respect your relationship. Not that you mention him much, but you and Danny arrived in Boston, shacked up together, and have made no hints at that changing. For now.

It’s gotten to the point where it’s driven him to drink, added to the long list of things he needs to be inebriated or high to cope with.

This is how he ended up at the QZ speakeasy, a few blocks from his building which makes it an easy past-curfew destination. Sole occupant of the low, barrel table against the back wall, he pounds a whiskey back which quickly turns into three. A buzz has started in his body and his mind, a clear path to his ideal destination on the horizon. It was a shitty run today, mostly coming up dry and having to deny some trades. Plus, you weren’t with him.

When he’s waving the bartender for another glass, his eyes skate across the room and catch you standing at the top landing of the stairs that snake down to the warehouse basement bar, eagerness evident in your expression when you find him. Overprotective, he watches you bound down the stairs to make sure you get to whoever you’re meeting without any issues. He’d be more than happy to step in if someone got too close.

Focused on his self-appointed task, he doesn’t realize that you’re making your way over to him excitedly until you’re standing in front of his table, gesturing to the empty seat across from him that he offers to you.

Plopping down in the wooden chair, a goofy smile stretches across your face as the giddiness of being around him flickers in your stomach. You’d felt this jolt of energy being near him, thinking about him. It’d been like that for weeks since you saw him again and held him. It was a spark, and now your embers were slowly catching fire the more time you spent with Joel.

Greetings were exchanged, and him buying you a drink along with another for himself. Finger tracing around the lip of your glass, you glance up at him and attempt to make small talk if only to be able to hear his voice.

“So, how was the run today?”

“‘S fine. Pretty dry.” His response is clipped, mumbled out as he brings his drink up to his lips for a swig.

“Oh, really? That’s a shame. You got another one planned?” you keep your eyes on him, watching as he looks anywhere but at you. Around the table, across the room, even at his own boot.

“Yeah, got one next week.” Joel’s grumbling, deep crease between his brows as he sulks in his chair.

“Maybe I can join you on that one?” you propose, hoping that it gets his attention. Sure, you could be reading into it, but something told you that he enjoyed having you around as much as you enjoyed being around him. Brows raised in hopefully curiosity, anticipation swells your tongue in your mouth.

“Maybe.”

That’s it? That’s all he has to say?

Joel’s always been a man of few words, always crafting careful and thoughtful responses when you were together. But this? This is ridiculous. He clearly doesn’t want you around, his eyes darting as if to look for the fastest escape route. It stings, deflating your excitement. The chance of this encounter was the sole reason you went out tonight. Danny had fucked off to play poker or gamble away ration cards with some other guys he’d gotten buddy-buddy with, and it didn’t help that you two had been drifting further from each other over the last week. You weren’t sure how much longer this companionship would be worth it, and with Joel always around, it certainly was starting to blur some lines. He always made you feel better, even when he wasn’t trying. Except for tonight.

Your hurt boils into anger, and you scoff at him, arms crossing firmly in front of your chest.

“You keep acting like you’re looking for a chance to leave. If I’m keeping you here, feel free to go. I’ll drink by myself.”

Joel looks at you, his eyes softening. He opens his mouth, then shuts it, thinking about what he should say. You get annoyed by his lack of response, grabbing your drink off the table and slipping out of your chair to leave him there.

“Are you really that oblivious, bonny?”

You turn back, anger growing at the thought that he’s mocking you.

“Well, screw me for trying to make conversation with you, Joel. I guess I am oblivious ‘cause I thought we could be friends or, I don’t know, at least civil after all this time.”

“Bonny, I can’t be friends with you.”

He’s kicking you when you're down, clearly just being cruel.

“Why? What did I do?”

“I can’t be friends with you, ‘cause I want more than that.”

The honesty stuns you. Sure, you had felt that pull towards Joel again, but you didn’t know that he felt the same way or that he would act on it if he did. He gets up from his chair, taking a step closer to you before he continues.

“I looked for you, y’know? After everything. All I wanted was to have you back. I knew you’d know what I needed. And when I saw you again, I realized why I couldn’t stop looking. What I needed most was you.”

He stands close to you now, warm breaths intermingling with the other’s, humidity heating your cheeks while his eyes stay locked on you. Everything you’ve felt since Joel had been revived into your life suddenly becomes overwhelming; you can’t contain them, can’t compartmentalize them anymore. You reach for him, hand pressed over his heart, feeling the rushed beating pulsing under your touch.

His eyes look down slowly to his chest and then back up to you when you whisper, “Mine feels the same way when I see you.”

“Is that right? Can I feel for myself?”

You nod slowly, peeling your hand off of him only for him to catch it and hold it in his. Your voice is thick, “Maybe somewhere a little more private? Like your place?”

He looks confused for a second, brows knitting together before it dawns on him, pupils widening and darkening his eyes.

“Let’s get out of here, bonny.”

Keys jingle as he twists them in the lock, throwing the thin wooden door open after he pulls them out. He nods for you to step in ahead of him, taking a few paces into the apartment and surveying around. The door clicks behind you and the deadbolt slides into place, the sounds sending goosebumps across your skin at the prospect of being totally alone with Joel, no watchful eyes or possible interruptions.

Eyes continue to skate along the room, tiny details noted. Half-drunk whiskey bottle on the counter, small baggies of pills on the coffee table, other finds from his side occupation littering the space.

His weighted steps drag across the worn wooden floors at your back, the presence of him hanging behind you slowing your breaths in suspense. Saliva coats your mouth at the dryness of your thirst, hair standing off of your skin in waiting.

The first touch you feel is his fingers brushing against the back of your neck, sweeping the hair there off to one side and holding it there. Joel takes one step closer, chest pressing against your shoulder blades and crotch against the swell of your ass. The warmth radiating off of him sends a shiver down your spine, jolting against him briefly. Your breaths pause as you wait for his next move, eyes fluttering closed when his lips touch the nape of your neck in a ghostly kiss. A hand wraps around you, resting just over your breast to feel the rapid beating of your heart, the rhythm matching his own that you feel against your back. A placid gasp puffs from between your lips, snapping the taut tension between the two of you and sending a new urgency to his actions.

Palms encase your hips, spinning you around to face him and tugging you close to feel every curve pushed against him. His lips find yours in a hungry kiss, your own mouth opening in a sigh at the contact. Joel takes this as an opportunity to lick into your mouth, tongue dominating yours and swallowing every whimper that comes out of you.

Your own hands grip his shoulders, nails dragging against the fabric down to his biceps. Fingertips dig into the flexed muscles, steadying yourself as he starts to walk you backward throughout his place. He never leaves your lips, knowing the space with his eyes closed to lead you all the way back through the door to the small bedroom on the left side of the living space.

A whine escapes you when his mouth detaches from yours, working kisses along your jaw to the hollow under your ear, sucking at the space there. A groan rumbles from his chest when you let out a soft moan and hold his arms tighter, hips involuntarily jerking against his growing bulge.

Lust-blown eyes stare into yours as he stands up fully again, delicate touch brushing your cheek before his thumb nudges the scar that sits on your brow. The look in his eyes pains for half a second, and you finally speak up since leaving the speakeasy.

“‘S not a good story. Happened from a lamp falling onto my head when I was raiding around some suburban house. Just an accident. You wouldn’t have been able to stop it from being there.”

His gaze meets yours again, tugged away from the fibrous tissue on your face. The bulb in his throat bobs when he swallows, head moving side to side minutely.

His hand caresses your cheek, voice thick with his drawl when he softly responds, “You underestimate me, bonny.”

The words gloss your vision, quick blinks settling the emotion and clearing the picture of Joel in front of you again. Your heart constricts in your chest, attempting to imagine the amount of pain that he’s been through, but you can’t even begin to know.

Instead of dwelling on the moment, he presses one light, affectionate kiss to your lips before he takes a step back. He grips the hem of your shirt, brows quirking up in a silent question. You nod subtly, the permission allowing him to slowly tug the fabric over your head. He devours the newly exposed skin with his burning stare, compelled to bend down and trace his lips over every new mark he sees while his hands move across your curves to reacquaint himself with your new features. Wider hips, rougher skin, purply stretch marks veining your skin along with ropy paths where injuries had healed over.

Joints crack softly as he settles onto his knees in front of you, sending you into light giggles while he groans and presses his forehead against your lower tummy. He reaches around and playfully smacks your jean-covered ass, a fake scowl on his face when he looks up at you from his praying position.

“‘Nuff gigglin’ at me, you’re gonna feel this sore come morning.”

The threat of his words floods arousal between your thighs, bottom lip toyed between your teeth as you quiet down your laughter. Joel kisses your clothed thigh, fingers popping the button of your jeans and dragging the zipper before they hook in your waistband and tug the denim down your legs. Joel laughs lightly at your silence, eyes finding yours as his hands lift each of your feet one at a time to help you out of your pants.

“Thought that might get you excited, lil’ lamb. I know you’re gonna be such a good girl for me, aren’t ya?”

The wink that follows his drawl jolts your limbs and fingers twist into his locks as his open mouth exhales warm, humid air on your panty-covered mound. He presses his face against the fabric, inhaling deeply and moaning softly at the scent of you.

“Fuck, sugar, it’s still the same. Missed you so much. You think you still taste the same?” He directs the question up to your face, your head lulled down to meet his gaze. A smirk pulls at the corners of your mouth, mischief glittering in your eyes.

“Only one way to find out, baby.”

His amber eyes were pools of ink with how much they darkened, full of carnality. Large fingers smoothly strip you out of your panties, his figure coming to stand at his full height in front of you. Gripping your waist, he guides you back to sit on the edge of the mattress, lifting your legs by your thighs and easily maneuvering you toward the center.

Joel moves to climb onto the bed with you, but your soft sigh of frustration stops him.

“I wanna see you. ‘Specially if I’m completely naked, ‘s only fair that you are, too,” you gripe to him, bottom lip protruding only slightly in a pout. Joel considers for a moment, ultimately deciding that fair’s fair. He pulls his knee off of the mattress and makes quick work of undressing, his own clothes laying rumbled on the floor with yours.

Satisfied with his fulfillment of your request, your eyes completely devour his bare body as he moves to kneel on the mattress between your open legs. Fighting for survival has kept him fit, broad shoulders flexing as he lifts your legs at the crook of your knees to spread them further. His chest is firm, the rest of his torso softer just as it had always been. It was one of your favorite parts of him, the sight of it now taking you back to times cuddling him on the couch or in bed, head in his lap to press kisses against his tummy or resting your head there and being lulled to sleep. Your fingernails comb through the happy trail, pressing into the skin of his lower abdomen as you sit up to kiss him deeply. He moans quietly against your lips, your knees pressing into his stocky thighs, toes curling against the flexed muscles in his calves. Your arms settle around his neck, lips chasing his as he pulls back to look at you.

“I really did miss you, bonny. Couldn’t believe it when you were in front of me again. Still can’t really believe it right now.” His voice is breathy, eyes holding yours, moving back and forth minutely. One of his hands encompasses the left side of your face, the other moving down between your bodies, his frame bent over yours. Two fingers work circles into your clit, inhale catching in your throat while your legs tense from the feeling of his touch on you.

“M-Missed you, too. So much. I looked for you everywhere I went. Needed you again, I need you now.”

“‘M right here, lil’ lamb. Not going anywhere again. I’m gonna make you feel so good, just like I used to.”

His fingers working your clit slip through your wetness, pressing against your entrance to coax a moan out of you. He hooks them into you, pushed against your spongy walls in search for that spot he’d been all too familiar with. Like riding a bike, he fell right back into what you had loved from him before, knowing just how to work you up. His jaw dropped slightly as his eyes glued to where his fingers thrusted into you; he closed his mouth every so often to swallow the saliva flooding his mouth until he couldn’t wait another second to taste you again.

Joel folded over, legs scooting back on the bed to allow his head to sit between your thighs, tongue lapping against your clit feverishly and switching with his lips every so often to suck at the same spot.

The sounds leaving you at that point were wanton and lewd, mixing with the squelch of your wetness. You felt the familiar knot tightening in your stomach until it’s pulled loose, a loud gasp of his name while your nails dig into his shoulder and walls tighten around him.

He keeps his pace, mouth still attached to your core. He’s not going to let up without you saying something, and you can’t take another moment without him giving you what you want — what you need from him. Fingers tangled in his mussed hair, peeling him from between your thighs. He meets your eyes, lips and chin shining with dampness in the low light of the bedroom and fingers pulling out of you. Eyes blown into blackness at the sight of your pleasure, mouth opening to speak when you cut him off.

“More of that later, if you really want it. But I need you. Inside of me.”

Joel smirks devilishly, fingers coated in your come pushing between your lips and into your mouth for you to clean off.

“Just tastes so sweet, bonny. Can’t help but want seconds,” his hard cock twitches where it lays against your thigh at the feeling of your tongue sucking his fingers, “Better ask again nicely, lamb. Or else I’m not giving you anything.”

The smirk stays painted on his face, a huff of frustration as your hips jerk up to chase his hand that hover over you, desperate for more.

“Please, pretty please. I need you,” you beg, pleading in your eyes as you look through your lashes, dull nails scratching his skin.

“That’s my good girl. Kept your manners.” The wink he sends you flutters your walls around nothing, whimpering as he manipulates you into his desired position.

Joel straddles one of your thighs, bringing the other up to lay against his torso and rest on his shoulder. Your hips turn only slightly to the side in the position, opening your pelvis into a kindling heat. He spits in one of his palms, fingers of the same hand running shortly through your arousal and then mixing the fluids to coat the tender skin of his length. The head of him pushes into you deliciously measured, his motion pausing for you to adjust.

It only takes a moment before your body remembers, the muscles of your tight pussy molding around him once again. Your body feels the familiarity of him, the reactions it has are heightened from the comfort of his own body, focusing solely on how perfectly he fits inside of you.

“Damn, sugar, feel like your little pussy got even tighter. Feels so pefect around me, like she knows who’s about to fuck her just right,” his voice is coated with lust, jaw laxing with a guttural groan when he pushes further into you.

When Joel finally starts a rhythm, slow and deep at first, your eyes roll back into your skull as your head presses hard into the mattress under you. The position brings him incredibly deep, and his size fills you nearly to the brim. It was a feeling you hadn’t felt since the last time you’d had him, his veins on his swollen cock carving the same paths along your insides to feel every detail of him.

“Feel so full, baby. Haven’t felt it since I had you last,” your voice is higher and breathier, toned in a whine.

“That’s right, bonny. Nobody makes you feel as good as I do, huh? Probably haven’t had a decent fuck for years, you poor thing.”

All you can do in response is moan, hands gripping his forearms that are the part of his nearest to you.

He fucks you like this for a good moment, moaning your name quietly before he huffs in frustration, completely pulling out of you. Immediately, you mewl at the loss, head shooting up to protest before he’s moving you to his will again.

“Just a second, sugar. Need to be able to kiss you and feel you all over. Being such a good girl for me, I promise you’re gonna love this.”

He still couldn’t be as deep and close to you as he needed to be in the previous position, so he manipulates your jellied limbs easily to be able to fully cover you with his body. His grip is on your knees, bending your one leg that was once between his thighs to move your calf to hook over his shoulder. Once both your legs are settled on his frame, he continues to stretch your hips by leaning over you, pinning your thighs back to your ribs. He’s completely opened your lower half, folding you back to the point where his tummy is resting against yours and his face is hovering over you. Muscles in your legs and hip flexors burn and spasm, but you can’t care for even a moment when Joel thrusts into you again. You’d never been in this position with him before, and your mind instantly clears of any thoughts besides how hard and deep Joel is fucking you, how you had never felt as full and complete as you did in that moment.

He chuckles as he watches you completely cock drunk, one hand leaving your leg. The large palm finds your lower abdomen, pressing against it as he locks his gaze in yours.

“Can you feel me right here, lil’ lamb? Feel me deep, pushing your belly?” His voice is sweetened sickeningly, the pride and amusement of being the one to give you this experience, to make you feel that full once again evident in the twinkle of his eyes and the sideways smirk on his face.

Chants of his name leave your mouth, your voice barely covering the sounds of his skin slapping against yours steadily.

With him inside of you, it was like two puzzle pieces joining together to finish the picture. The satisfaction of completion was there on all fronts, his rhythm frying your nerves and tightening that red hot coil in your core. With his body covering yours in this embrace, he keeps his mouth on you, heady kisses to your lips when you can take it and mouth biting or licking along your chin, jaw, and neck when you need to breathe.

His motions switch up in the next instant, pushed into you at the hilt as his hips circle to grind you on him. He makes tight figure eights, the act getting you to the point where he’s fucked you completely dumb. All you want in that moment is to feel his warm spend inside of you, watch his face contort from his own pleasure. You can tell he’s close the less he speaks and the more he pants, head falling to your shoulder and eyes closing as he focuses hard to keep pace.

“Come inside me, please. I want it,” your tone is urgent, spilling the words out before your orgasm blinds you white-hot, mind clear of everything except for the euphoric high Joel’s given you. Tightening around him, he moans loudly, thrusts becoming messy and stacatto as he chases his own peak.

“God, such a perfect girl for me. You gonna keep my come in you all night? Go back to your boyfriend tomorrow with it dripping out?”

All you can do is nod, cunt fluttering around him as it starts to work into overstimulation, the rub of his skin against your clit so pleasurable it’s getting painful. Your voice falters when a third orgasm pulses through you.

“Y-Yes, yes. I want you inside for as long as it’ll stay there. Pl-Please, baby.”

Your begging pushes Joel over the edge, hips stuttering as ropes of his warm spend fill you up. He starts to work into you again, fucking it deeper before he finishes.

The pair of you are sweaty, sticky messes; hair tangled, lips swollen, eyelids heavy in recovery. Joel stays inside of you, gently moving your legs down and his own arms wrapping under you to lay you on your side with him, lifting one of your legs to rest on his hip.

Soft, supple kisses are shared as the two of you drift in and out of consciousness, eventually falling asleep completely.

Blue tinted sunlight creeps into the sole window of Joel’s bedroom, the night sky fading into a lilac dawn. You’re studying Joel as he sleeps, long lashes grazing his cheeks, lips parted just enough to let some light snores escape. Your finger delicately traces the scar on his right temple, your featherlight touch causing his eyes to flutter open and find your gaze half awake.

Joel’s immediately in fight or flight mode, arm around your waist tightening as he holds you closer.

“You okay? Something happen?” His voice is hoarse from sleep, clearing his throat as the slight panic wakes his up more.

Gently, you rest your hand on his chest and shake your head with a tender smile.

“Everything’s fine, you can relax. I was just lookin’ at you before I have to go home.”

Joel deflates, brow creasing at the mention of you needing to leave, to go home to your equally shitty apartment and some guy that wasn’t him. Jealousy flicked in his chest, a confession sitting in his throat for a minute before he let it out.

“I really did mean it, y’know. I need you. Now that I’ve got you back in my life, I can’t let you go. You’re some of the only family I’ve got left, and I don’t think I could survive losing you again.” His voice is shaky, wet brown eyes locked with yours. You have rarely seen Joel this unguarded, even in your life before, without the hardness that had come with the constant threat to his survival hanging over his head. The words wrapped around your heart, squeezing tightly and ripping it out of your chest to give to him. Silence falls between the two of you as an understanding washes over you, relaxing your body as the memory of safety, comfort, and home ripples throughout every muscle. You tell him what you have felt since the moment you saw him again:

“I’m not going anywhere, Joel. Not without you.”

tagging the mutuals: @swiftispunk @joelsversion @johnwatsn @midnightswithdearkatytspb @pedrit0-pascalit0 @theelishad @undrthelights @ladamedusoif @ruinedbylanadelrey @thetriumphantpanda @pedgeitopascal @dinsdjrn @thepascalofus @pedgito @soaringcloud @somedayauthor @alloftheimagines @pr0ximamidnight @beskarandblasters @atinylittlepain @nicolethered @scrambledslut @lunapascal

[starl1tsky]

ok so. boston gatsby musical. overall? i enjoyed it, had a great time watching it, etc.... HOWEVER. cons first then pros. and then stuff i had mixed feelings on.

a) they took gatsby's teeth out. he was wayyy too nice. also not charismatic enough. like i feel like a gatsby should suck the air out of a room bc you're too busy staring at him. like those gayass vampires from the vampire show. anyway he was dorky and like sweet and shit and im like that is NOT jay gatsby!!!! that is a musical theater mfa.

b) daisy was also a yass queen white feminist instead of like. the ideal that gatsby obsesses over which like ok, fleshing out female characters, wtver, but daisy SUCKS SO HARD like she killed that girl. did daisy buchanan successfully utilize girl power when she vehicular manslaughtered her husband's mistress. also they were leaning so hard into the class thing that it might've been better to like uh idk TALK ABOUT CLASS??? BC DAISY IS ALL ABOUT CLASS SHE IS LITERALLY THE REPRESENTATION OF THE UPPER CLASS?????

b part 2) they also changed it so that daisy actually totally did want to marry gatsby and her mom forced her to marry tom which imo removes a lot of nuance from the story like??? its not a fucking love story????!!! daisy was NOT about to marry gatsby when he was poor like. let's not try to make daisy something she isn't.

c) ok so they basically made it so gatsby was Native American and like pretending to be white and that in and of itself is NOT a con, i think that's an interesting way to deal with the whole new money/reinvention thing. HOWEVER it felt very shoehorned in bc it was literally only mentioned in the last song when gatsby's dad came to bury him. and then the finale was like #landback which is all well and good but again let's maybe try and have one cohesive theme (class tensions) before we try to add things into the final two songs. because that is not the place to add themes.

d) this isn't so much a con as a ???? but jordan??? what the fuck was she doing there. she like was an exposition drop for nick like twice and then she just stood there and had a verse in like two songs and made out with people. the actress was very hot so it was okay but like. what was she doingggggg.

e) i LOVE florence + the machine however. the music was GOOD, objectively speaking but i would have appreciated a little more variety. the tap number was great tho, 10/10. also loved the damage that you do, that was a good one. "what of love and what of god" felt like, a good florence + the machine song but a heavy handed musical theater song like. giving dust and ashes. great song, but jesus christ josh groban calm the fuck down.

PROS:

a) ok i know i said gatsby wasn't charismatic enough BUT. in the meyer wolfsheim number, he was tap dancing and it was INCREDIBLE. so what i think is that they just should have had him dance more, bc the actor was an INCREDIBLE dancer and that would've given him the gatsby charisma and magnetism. so that's a directing/staging issue not an actor issue. like as far as i remember he only properly danced in that one song.

b) i did appreciate how they fleshed out myrtle and her husband, it was very well done and added significantly to the class tension themes of the original novel

b part 2) HOLY SHIT SOLEA PFEIFFER THE WOMAN THAT YOU ARE. also the husband ATE. the two of them were really extraordinary, standout performances.

c) nick was very charming, they did fourth wall break/monologue type things and it worked quite well i thought. he had a great voice, would've loved it if they gave him more to do but...

d) i mentioned this before but GOOD LORD the meyer wolfsheim tap number was fantastic. best part of the whole show imo

e) honestly the tom was very good. like detestable and i wanted to punch him in his face the whole time but. he was quite good. and i said it before but the damage that you do ATE.

f) very sexy. lots of hot people dancing and making out with each other.

ok now things im unsure about.

a) look. nick carraway is a homosexual. you know this; i know this, however, i don't think he's aware enough to be like "yeah i'm fucking gay and in love with gatsby" like he is gay, he is in love with gatsby but like i do not think he knows that. he idolizes gatsby because he doesn't have the vocabulary or the self knowledge to know that he's in love with him. also babe if you know you're gay and you know you'r ein love with gatsby and gatsby is trying to get with you for his first song and a half, WHY ARE YOU HELPING HIM GET WITH THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE WHO HAPPENS TO BE YOUR COUSIN???? make it make sense. but yea i think making nick gay is the right choice and even having him make out with dudes is the right choice and yea maybe he even knows he's gay but i really don't think he knows he's in love with gatsby. and also nick didn't narrate quite enough and when he did he wasn't quite unreliable enough.

basically i just LOVe the great gatsby and while i did enjoy this musical i just didn't like it as much as the book. so i guess my expectations were too high. also i found it ironic and depressing that in a musical where the adapters added so much about modern politics and tried so hard to modernize the politics of the original novel, the ushers STILL managed to be racist to my mother. yay a.r.t!!!!!

[lunabug2004]

I watched Only Friends... and It Was Definitely An Experience! **SPOILERS**

I knew going into it that SandRay was the most popular Only Friends couple, at least that's what it seems like based on how many posts/edits there are about them over all of the internet, but it's so rightfully deserved!!!

I couldn't care less about TopMew, they were just pretty boring to me and I did not like Top at all. Mew was alright, though I will say I loved his petty revenge arc. BostonNick I thought was doomed from the start so I kinda made myself not get too into them? Nick is a sweetheart while also being a conniving little spy so I thought he was pretty fun and liked him a lot but, like Top, I hated Boston (basic of me, I know). But SandRay??? Loved every second! I think Ray is such an interesting character with so many layers and it's so fun to explore his life, and I absolutely fell in love with Sand. I love everything about him and he deserves nothing but to be able to attend all the music festivals in the world. Also quick shout out to Sand & Nick's friendship, it's so refreshing in this messy tree of relationships lol.

It's crazy to me that some people didn't enjoy SandRay as much, but some complaints I've seen are pretty valid tbh. I've seen people complain that the only reason people loved them so much more than the other couples is because they had the most screentime, and that's fair, but they also had the most to cover with their stories: both individually and together. I know this is fully on the writers, I've also seen people complain about SandRay being way more developed than the other characters. These complaints are extremely valid I feel, and I honestly believe they would've been better off doing either a show made up of three short series focusing on one pairing at a time or a show focusing on SandRay as the main couple (they have enough to their stories/story that alone it could take up a whole 12 episodes easily) with BostonNick and TopMew as sides with the possibility of getting their own series after (kinda like UWMA with BU even tho I know it's a different company). Either way, we got what we got with SandRay, and I, for one, enjoyed it thoroughly! I personally don't really understand what's not to like about their relationship, I thought it was at least mostly realistic and they suit each other so well it's insane.

Back to my complaints, I really hated the pool scene with Sand, Ray, and Boeing. Like, really hated it. Also the fact that Ray tried to say Sand was still in love with Boeing after the huge difference b/t the two kisses... was insane. I also disliked the scene with Ray and the therapist because no matter how sweet and also heartbreaking it is the second-hand embarrassment is the actual worst.

Now onto what I enjoyed: obv SandRay and Sand & Nick's friendship since I already mentioned those. I also enjoyed the way all the characters were connected in different ways, it was so much fun to untangle all the relationships! I like the way the show tackled alcoholism and made it realistic, as well as the way it tackled betrayal within the friend group (looking at you, 'Ton) in a realistic way.

Now, I have to mention the acting and chemistry between the couples. ForceBook was meh to me. This is the first thing I've seen them in it and they didn't really blow me away with their chemistry but I did enjoy their acting! I do think this is because I didn't really like the couple, so I'm not really holding it against them and I do plan to watch A Boss and A Babe at some point. NeoMark was very good! Both the chemistry and the acting. Neo has never been my favorite actor, (sorry if this is controversial) I like him fine but he never really blew me out of the water, he's just always done good, but this series he was insane! He played Boston so well he made most people hate him and that's always impressive when it's done by such a well-liked actor. I knew Mark was gonna kill it and he did. I love Mark. The chemistry b/t these two was surprising but enjoyable (speaking purely on what I saw as someone who skips through most saucy scenes). Now... FirstKhao. I expected everything from them and I got everything. I 1000% know that they are joining OffGun and GemFourth as one of my favorite pairings ever (who am I kidding they did that after I watched The Eclipse). Just the pure talent these two have is unreal and the chemistry is off the charts. The fight scenes broke me and the bonding scenes made me feel butterflies, just everything about them is perfection. Also wanna make a special comment on First b/c he has climbed my ranks as one of my favorite actors ever extremely quickly but I mostly see people talk about Khao, (which is so valid; man is insane as well, I just prefer First for whatever reason), but the way First plays all of his characters is so hypnotizing to me. Like the emotions he portrays and the way he completely transforms into his characters with his body language just impresses me so much. I'm def rambling now so it's time to wrap this up!

Anyways, putting aside others' complaints over the best couple SandRay, as well as my own complaints and compliments, I think overall it's a really good show and the drama is fun! So so messy but since it's all fiction it's fun to get sucked into! I'd tell anyone to give it a try at least!

Also wanna end this by saying if you disagree with me on any of this that's totally okay! All opinions are valid! Plus, I went into this with extreme actor bias towards FirstKhao (esp First), so that definitely tied towards my instant love for SandRay.

[luke-hughes43]

do your thing baby | matt boldy x reader

this is the first official fic of the 300 celly! the idea came to be based on an interaction i had in my life and i pitched it to @toasttt11 and she liked it so here we are!

i'm using one of the prompts from fluff list 1, "i brought you flowers. for what? there has to be a reason?"

little background on y/n: she is a 23 year old 5th year softball player at boston college and is the starting shortstop! she's local to boston college and has been dating matt boldy since 2019. during her summers, she coaches a travel softball team that are 13/14 year olds.

this fic takes place in june of 2023, y/n and matt haven't seen each other in a long time because of hockey and then softball for y/n. matt surprises y/n by showing up to one of her tournaments.

~

y/n is by far one of the best shortstops in the country, could've played anywhere she wanted but loves her home state of massachusetts too much to leave, which led her to boston college. it's where she met her current boyfriend of almost 4 years, matt boldy. they met in english freshman year and never looked back.

during her summers, she loves giving back to the sport that gave her everything and started coaching the travel team she used to play on. she coaches the u14 team.

it's hard for y/n to see matt during the academic year, because he is in minnesota for hockey and then she has class and practice so the only time she gets to see him is when he plays in boston. which is once a season, maybe twice.

matt takes every chance he can to see her. but also respects her time and her commitments to the things that are important to her, like softball. he understands that it takes up a lot of her time and does everything he can to work around it to see her.

if that means going to a tournament and sitting in the sun for 8 hours, then he does it.

which leads us to now.

y/n has a tournament with games at 10, 12, and 4. so she'll be there for the whole day. which is nothing new to matt, he knows the tournament scene very well now. y/n thinks matt is still in minnesota and coming home on monday.

he is not. he changed his flight to come in friday night. and then got up to so he could go see y/n. he loves seeing her play and coach and just doing what she loves.

he decided to stop for flowers on the way there, having not seen her in like a month because their schedules just didn't align. he gets there and finds the field that they are on. as soon as he sees her, he smiles.

he waits patiently on the fence watching the game, stealing glances at y/n when he can. y/n is oblivious to him being there, she is so focused on the game.

her girls like to tease her about having a boyfriend, because they are 13 and 14 so what do you expect. one of her players, anna, says, "coach y/n, who's that boy who keeps looking over at you?"

y/n turns around and sees matt. her faces lights up with a smile and matt reciprocates it. y/n giggles and says, "that is my boyfriend, matt."

a few of the girls hear y/n say that and turn to look at matt. they also giggle and start teasing y/n. anna then says, "ooooo coach y/n's boyfriend is here!"

one of her other players, molly says, "oh my god that's so cute."

"wait coach y/n, can we meet him after the game?" her favorite player (even tho she claims she doesn't have favorites), tess, asks. y/n shakes her head and says, "let me worry about my boyfriend. focus on the game and if we win the tourney, maybe you can meet him. for now, just play softball."

all of the girls giggle and wave at matt. y/n looks at him with a playful eye roll and gives him a small wave before focusing back on the game. she only has about 30 minutes before the next game so she doesn't go over to him, knowing that a hello will take way longer than 30 minutes. she sends him a quick texts, thank you for coming. i'll say hi during the game break.

matt smiles at his phone and sends back, don't worry about it. do your thing baby.

y/n smiles and works on getting a lineup together for the next game. they won the first game 3-1 and are focusing on winning the second game. the second game is pretty smooth for the team, winning handily with a score of 14-1.

at the end of the team debrief for the games, y/n says to the girls, "ok, great wins ladies. not much feedback from me. you guys played a very disciplined game and did everything right and that's all we ask of you. so, during this break please hydrate. if you guys wanna have a snack, that's fine with me but be smart about what you're eating because we do play at 4. i would like to regroup at about 3:15 to just loosen up again and have pitchers warm up and get some swings in. please use the buddy system and stay together as a team if possible. if you have any questions, obviously ask them. molly, break it down for us."

molly calls them out and y/n puts her stuff down and runs over to matt. right into his arms for the tightest hug she's ever given him. she mumbles, "i can't believe you're here. i thought that you weren't home until monday."

"i changed my flight. had to see you." matt says and kisses her head. y/n pulls away and kisses him. she says, "i'm gonna teased so hard by the girls but i don't care. i've missed you too much."

"i've missed you too baby." matt says not wanting to let her go. y/n forces him to let go and he hands her flowers, i brought you flowers."

y/n smiles, "for what?"

"there has to be reason?" matt says with a smile.

y/n giggles and hugs him. she says, "you're the cutest person in the world. i love you."

"i love you too y/n." he says and wraps an arm around her.

her two coaches, shannon and kelly, also happen to be two of her closest friends and the four of them sit together and formulate a game plan. well more y/n, shannon, and kelly talk shop and matt just sits with y/n in his arms listening to them.

shannon proposes the idea, "should have tess catch a few innings? she does a good job back there and emma and alyssa are probably tired. it is hot."

"true. who's gonna pitch though? because i love tess but she's not our best option. she just has a lot of raw talent so we have to think strategically about pitching because we don't wanna make tess look like a rookie back there." y/n says.

matt chimes in, "why not just keep her at shortstop and have alyssa and emma split the game? tess is by far the best shortstop so why move her if it's working? if alyssa and emma split the game based on who's pitching, neither will get too tired and you won't sewer yourselves in a very important position. or even kate, doesn't she catch too?"

"ooo that's right. kate can catch. that's actually probably better than tess because we have other players to play 3rd. good call matt." kelly says. y/n smiles and leans her head into the arm wrapped around her.

shannon says, "where the hell did you pick that up from?"

y/n giggles, "i trained him well."

matt smiles, the 3 of them continue figuring out the game plan and then shannon and kelly give them some time together before she has to go back to the team. y/n says to matt, "it means everything that you're here matt. you did not have to do this."

"i haven't seen you since the acc championships. i knew as soon as you sent me the schedule that i had to make it work. we already have a limited amount of time together until you finish school so i'm happy to spend all day at the softball field if it means seeing you." he says and kisses her head, tightening his grip on her.

y/n smiles and enjoys the moment. matt asks, "so how about i drive you back to my place tonight and i take you to dinner, and you spend the night? how's that sound?"

"i love the idea but i don't have a way back down here tomorrow. and i don't know what time we're playing."

"i know. i'll come back tomorrow. i told you, if i have to come to these tournaments to see you, i will." matt explains.

y/n melts into his hold and nods. she says, "ok. we can do that." she checks her phone and it's 3:02. she tells matt, "ok, time to give the 15 minute warning. i love you and thank you for coming."

"anything for you. always. want me to hold onto the flowers and put them in my car?" he offers.

y/n smiles, "yes please. i love you and i'll see you after the game." she stands and gives matt a proper hug before kissing him softly. matt says back, "i love you too. go do your thing baby. good luck."

"thank you!" y/n says and jogs over to the girls.

when she gets to the girls she says, "alright 15 minute warning for warm ups. cleats on and lets make our way over to the net to stretch lightly and warm up. kate and sabrina, you guys are starting so start warming up when you're ready."

the girls nod and make their way to the nets to warm up. anna asks her, "so how is your boyfriend?"

"he has a name and it's matt. and he's good." y//n says smiling. tess chimes in, "so can we meet him coach y/n?"

"i was serious with what i said earlier. if you guys win the whole tournament, you can meet him." y/n says back. tess smiles and goes to the stretching circle exclaiming, "guys, coach y/n said we can meet her boyfriend if we win the whole tourney so let's do it.

y/n, shannon, and kelly all giggle to each other and let the girls obsess over matt. they're 14 and don't get it. they 3 coaches also exchange a glance, knowing how good matt treats y/n and the fact that shannon and kelly know that matt has bought a ring is planning on proposing to y/n when the timing is right.

[aliorsboxostuff]

When I tell you that the Joel miller x trans!reader fic was the best thing I’ve read in a while I mean that. The way you just integrated the character into the already existing storyline without really changing it was absolutely everything. If your up for it I was wondering if you could write a fic about Joel and trans!reader knowing each other in the QZ and what it would look like to have a relationship with him there or before the relationship. Maybe some Tess too? I completely understand if you’re not up for this request but if you are thank you so much. 😊

AGHH this turned out so short but I didn't know what else to put im so sorry anon!! I really love the idea but I think building the whole backstory before Joel and Tess got out of the QZ is a bit hard. As usual, please excuse my writing if there were any mistakes, I do hope you enjoyed it anon! 

Hounds

Tags: Joel Miller x ftm!Reader, Tess, Before leaving QZ, Tess being the badass she is, Tender Joel, bind safely everyone!, Tender Lovin’, Mostly Fluff, a bit of smut, just dirty thoughts tho, Established Relationship, Bisexual Joel, Bisexual Tess

Tess and her hounds. They follow as her shadow. Pick a fight with her, you pick a fight with all three of them. Tess has always been seen with those two, even walking into the same apartment where they all live. But behind closed doors, no one knows that Tess lives alone while Joel stays with his boyfriend. 

3rd POV

Tess was popular amongst the Boston QZ. Not popular, per se, but known for her strengths and determination. For her headstrong and immovable demeanor. Another thing that boosts her status are her hounds. 

Joel Miller was one thing. Stone cold, dead eyes. Picking a fight with him is the same as picking a casket, according to those who have seen his combat with their own eye. His threats are not to be taken lightly, because when that man says he’ll break your jaw, he’d do just that in the next second. People have seen a fair share of his skills with a gun, and it's not to be messed with. Rumour has it that he’s the one burning infected kids, not a shadow of a doubt in throwing a human into the fire pit. 

The other guy, he's another thing. Don't underestimate him as Joel's shadow, because he might as well be standing at the same podium Joel does with his strengths. He smiles and waves, acting as the good guy for the two of them, but behind those sweet eyes are thoughts malicious enough to be kicked out of the QZ, plans that would impress even Tess. He might not be a stud but he’s the one doing the slippery parts. Countless times, Joel always ends up with the upper hand in a situation with his help. Body as agile as a deer, he’s the hands of the operation. If anyone dares to mess with him, you can bet Joel is right behind them with a gun cocked.

Tess and her hounds. Her boys, the ones that help her operation. Not that she’d need it, but it makes clean-up easier. No one dares to keep Tess away from them, unless she says so herself. Only the most ballsy illegal sellers are brave enough to negotiate with her, because most of the time they'll give her the thing she wants just like that, out of fear and respect.

—

How you first met Joel was through Tess herself.

You were notorious for stealing small but valuable things from FEDRA agents. A stash of guns and bullets, cards and drugs inside your home. Most of the things you don't even use, but due to your ability to pickpocket most if not all of the gullible FEDRA agents, you’ve gained an abundance of them. Your most prized possessions were the firearms you managed to steal or negotiate off of agents. Those are located under your bed, in an inconspicuous box, loaded with extra bullets on the side.

Tess had apparently caught a whiff of your gossip around the QZ, of the ‘Invisible Pick-pocketer’ the agents are having a hard time looking for. As much as she hates to admit it, her strong suit is negotiation, and Joel wasn't exactly the sleekest person for a job like stealing small shit. 

So, one Wednesday morning, in one of the food stalls in the QZ, Tess approached you. 

“Sorry I don't work with anyone,” You were focused on the bowl of food in front of you, scarfing it down because you missed your dinner.

“You might wanna look up first,” A voice of a woman you didn't recognize. So you placed the bowl down, putting on your stone-cold mask before looking at the source of the voice and you almost shit yourself. The most feared woman is standing in front of you, arms crossed with a brow arched. You gulp, trying to salvage what that hardened demeanor you could. 

“I’m- Tess, right?” The edge of her lips raises.

“So you’ve heard,” She leans into the small table, her hair covering one side of her face. Your eyes widen, fear shoots up your spine. “And I’ve heard about you too,” 

“Oh- uh- really?” You cough into your hand, avoiding her eyes.

“You’re the pickpocket, right? The ones FEDRA can't seem to find?” Her grin becomes dangerous. “I have a proposition,” 

She crosses her hands on top of the table, entwining her fingers. “You know me, I know you, we both know what we can do,” 

“Yeah,” You arch a brow, curious. 

“How about you join me? We could use a hand like you, literally,” Her eyes fall to where your hands are, old scars from the fire incident still evident on the back of your hands. It took a second for you to consider before you realize—

“Wait, we? You and… Miller?” 

“Yeah, who else?” Tess leans back into their chair, her arms crossed again. 

“You won't mind? I thought you two worked together, ‘cuz y’know…” You tilted your head, hoping she would take the hint, which she does and immediately cackles, covering her mouth to the side. 

“Me and Joel? Fuck no! I don't swing that way,” Then she seems to retract herself. “Well, I do, but he’s not my type,” 

“Oh, okay, cool, I'm cool with that…” Tess rolls her eyes at your answer before she stands, mumbling something about ‘youths’ and saying ‘cool’ under her breath. She turns towards you, inclining her head towards the street. 

“C’mon, you have to meet Joel.”

—

“Maybe should've taken that break earlier,” You groan, lifting up your shirt as you rubbed at your sides.

“Told you should've taken it but ya’ didn't, now-”

“Look what happens, yeah yeah I know,” You huff, Joel's disappointed stare burning at your back. Feeling the relief of finally taking off your sticky shirt, you stood by the bed as you began to peel off the body tape, taking lungfuls after the busy day. The tape at this point has soaked up most of your sweat, disgusting as it is. When it's at its last loops, calloused hands find its place on your waist, then Joel's comforting weight as he settles behind you.

You feel his coarse beard against your nape as he places a kiss there, his warm breath makes you sigh. Careful, shaking hands replace yours and continues unwrapping the body tape until it falls in a heap next to your leg. Joel places one hand on your stomach, the other rubbing circles on your waist.

“Thank you,” You smile, leaning into his touch as Joel murmurs his answer. He runs a calloused hand up to your shoulder, then between them, pushing slightly until you arch under his touch. He presses another kiss just above where his hand is pushing, before he relents and both of his hands fall to your waist.

“Tess is coming for dinner,” He says, voice ghosting at the shell of your ear. You suppress a shiver, gulping instead.

“Then let me get ready,” You smirk, feeling Joel's hand releasing you as you slip away from his grasp. You turn, placing a short kiss on his cheek before patting it twice. He raises his brow, which makes you grin. “Go wash up,”

Dinner went on as usual. For the past months, Tess, Joel, and you have been planning on escaping the QZ in search of Tommy. He hasn't been replying back Joel’s messages and knowing you and Tess won't be leaving Joel to go out by himself, Tess has been going around looking for information and parts.

“I got a trail. Some guy got the battery we need for the truck. I can track him down this week but I need you to cover my shifts in the afternoon,” Tess points her fork at you, which you instantly nod at. “Joel, keep gathering cards. I have a bad feeling we might need to bribe our way out,” 

Joel hums his answer and that's the end of the dinner. While it worked more as a meetup hour for the three of you, the little bits of food are enough to simulate what it would be like if the world wasn't like this.

As you begin to wash the dishes, your mind wanders to a simple, easier life. Tess would come over, maybe bring her partner, to have dinner together. You’d cook something for the group, something you and Joel enjoy. Wine would be involved, sweetening the night, and there wouldn't be talks about truck engines and unresponsive brother. Maybe Tommy would come over too, have dinner with Joel and he can meet his boyfriend. Then once dinner is over, you and Joel can take the leftover wine and bring it to the porch, settling side by side as the night sky flies by. A simpler world, a better world-

“Hey, you okay?” Joel's hand stops you from jolting, a grounding weight on your arm.

“Y-yeah, sorry,” You dry your hands on the dish towel, noticing the slight quiver it holds. You could practically feel Tess’ eyes on your back. You inhale, straightening yourself before you turn. “I got your shifts covered Tess, don't worry,”

“Make sure that trail isn't some bullshit, yeah?”

“Always do,” She nods, gulping down the last of her drink before she stands. 

“I’ll take my leave, good night boys,” She smiles, before you walk her to the door and shut it behind her with a last wave. You place the lock in its place, standing there just for a minute. Joel makes his way behind you, a reassuring hand on the small of your back.

“Let's go to bed,” You find yourself nodding. 

After washing up and clearing the table, you change into a simple shirt and briefs while Joel changes into his sleep clothes. He usually falls into bed with his day clothes on if he’s too tired and cares far less, but by your request, he changes to a shirt and pants when he can. 

As you pull back the thick excuse of a blanket, the bed creaks when Joel lays down and you follow suit, leaving the blanket at your feet knowing how hot the night could get. Joel turns and you instinctively wrap your arms around his middle, the man buries himself deeper into the pillows. 

“What were you thinking about?” Knowing your boyfriend, it’ll take a while for him to fall into slumber. He slowly laces his fingers with yours and you feel the brush of his lips against your knuckles. You tighten your arms.

“You ever wanna…” You blink at the small stars above. “You ever thought of living a different life?”

“Have a ranch somewhere, and we can… We have a normal dinner, and we’ll invite Tess and shit…” You feel your lips quirk before a beat of silence, then another kiss pressed on your knuckles. 

“Yeah, I do,” Joel turns slightly, looking out the same window into the same night sky. “We can raise sheep,”

You let out a chuckle, nuzzling into Joel's short curls when he only huffs, quietly rolling his eyes. The idea of farmer Joel, tending to his little sheep as they run around him. An image of him wearing nothing but a stetson suddenly flashes across your eyes, quickly killing your laugh, making you hide your red cheeks into Joel's nape.

“What?” He gruffly asks, unable to turn because of your arms.

“Nothin’,” You mumble, still hiding behind your boyfriend at which Joel only huffs before settling back to bed. The blush finally ebbs away and is replaced with a smile instead as you take lungfuls of Joel's scent, lulling you to sleep.

“Good night, Joel,” Joel tightens his hold on your hand.

“Good night, darlin’,” 

Requests are opened! Reblogs appreciated <3!