#love letter.childe

[divinolenta]

love letter; childe

you have received a letter from childe! will you read it or discard it?

word count: 576

please listen to “still with you” by jungkook while reading this! 

to my love, my soulmate:

life felt simple and effortless when i was with you. we laughed and cried together, and these candid emotions were all i ever needed to exist and prosper.

it strikes me how desparate i am to hear you calling my name, even if it is the faintest echo, it will be enough to set my soul on fire and in turn, the flames will consume me. i can only blame myself for letting you go too soon. what would happen if i had pleaded for you to stay, if i had insisted more determinedly and held you longer? utterly anguished and devastated, all i can do is wish for the ability to turn back time.

in my memory, i am still with you even as your image fades, features blurring until i can no longer decipher the face i once loved so dearly. if i had known that this would happen, i would have savoured every day and every moment with you. i promised myself that i would not become acquainted to the silence you left behind, yet i’m a hypocrite because as days stretch into weeks, and stretch into months, i am gradually becoming accustomed to your absence and i loathe myself for it. 

perhaps i am the sun and you are the moon. we were simply never destined to cross paths but you tempt me, glowing so beautifully; luminous as you ascend steadily into my heart and illuminate even the darkest caverns, but i can only watch forlornly as dawn arrives and you withdraw without sparing a single glance in my direction. we do not walk down the same paths, but even if we did, i would be unable to catch a glimpse of your figure as our pace and steps do not sync. you are always out of reach, and i am left to propitiate the archons with broken pleas for their mercy and forgiveness. 

if our paths ever overlap, will we embrace as intimately as the moon and sun during an eclipse or will you regard me stonily like i am merely a stranger? i fear that even if i confess my perpetual love for you, you will remain indifferent and austere. it is ironic, how the bittersweet story of the moon and sun, both fated to forever obey the magnetic pull of the universe can be together and happy to a degree, when we, as beings with free will, are eternally damned to be apart.

i am selfish, love. i want to be the only star you gaze on, which is ridiculous as there are millions, trillions of constellations with many being born each day, their vibrancy making me pale in comparison. i hate to say this, but i am beginning to believe that perhaps it is best to stay separated, if such pain and suffering is the cause of our love. it is possible that you have already forgotten me, in the arms of another, blissfully away from the havoc i wreak, and the unhappiness i have brought with my position as a harbinger.

even if it tears me apart, i would be happy if you were happy, even when my heart longs for yours, one that has already entwined with another.

i can only hope that one day, we will be together again and i will be able to kiss you as the sun does to the moon during an eclipse. 

until then,  childe

[divinolenta]

love letter; childe 

you have received a letter from childe! will you read it or discard it?

word count: 491

my lovely chae, 

i am still offended that you did not accept my invitation to snezhnaya, you know. only someone out of their mind would not desire to visit such a wonderful place, although i admit that the winter storms can get hectic and uncontrollable. besides, i’m sure my precious little siblings would love to meet you (tonia especially adores it when i send letters back home about you).

during the few chances that i am allowed to return home, they always gather around me, like little puppies vying for attention, bombarding me with question after question about you. i’m starting to think that they anticipate stories about you more, rather than their own brother’s return. recently, tonia has asked me a question that’s got the gears in my head spinning frantically. she asked me, “what’s one word you would describe chae with?” as you can tell, we’ve got quite the poet on our hands, what with all the insightful and obscure phrases she’s been spouting lately. 

the answer, my dear chae, is adrenaline. 

the feeling that i constantly pursue; pure energy and thrill that flows from every vein in my body, like a life-force, a feeling that i associate with the most exhilirating and bloody battles. 

but this time, what i chase is you. every fleeting kiss, touch and smile you give me is nothing short of affectionate, and it somehow simultaneously gives me life and takes my breath away. breathless, my heart pounds, hands slick as i stand on the battlefield in the throes of combat, facing a daring enemy.....except it’s you. 

your lips are so soft and electrifying against mine, and i feel like i am drunken, your kisses the finest alcohol as i drown in your embrace, yet i have never felt so alive. you seek to conquer me, your hands so gentle and warm against my skin as i melt, then reform and melt again, until i am strengthened with nothing but utter love for you. quite a handsome victory, i’d say. it’s remarkable, how you make it seem so easy for me to fall head over heels with a simple laugh, so sweet and mellifluous. 

i do not know if you are aware of the effect you have on me. even the slightest glimpse of your visage has me stuttering the most embarrassing love confessions, a feeling akin to adrenaline pulsing through my entire body and i feel like a young child all over again. you make me feel like i am the protagonist, the hero of this world, taking every risk and defeating every obstacle that stands in my path.

i doubt i even feel the same delight in battle anymore, not when your presence elicits such an impressive response from me. you truly have me wrapped around your finger, darling. even now, i can imagine your flustered expression as you read this.......how adorable. 

do reconsider my offer, sweetheart. 

your one and only, childe

[divinolenta]

love letter; childe

you have received a letter from childe! will you read it or discard it?

trigger warning for brief mentions of blood 

additional notes: the last letter of my event! thank you to everyone who requested <3 i listened to “after dark” by mr. kitty while writing this so i would recommend listening to the song!

word count: 483

my beloved lea,

you look absolutely angelic right now, lit up by the rosy glow of dawn. unfortunately, by the time you wake up, i’ll have departed already. i’m sorry, sweetheart, i’d love to sleep in with you but i have to attend to something urgent. i assure you, i’ll return by the time the sun begins to descend.

i despise leaving you so often to wake up alone, facing the emptiness of our bed but i promise you i will make it up to you. even if i am rarely with you, always remember that i cherish you dearly, and i would eagerly battle the archons themselves if they even utter a word of disapproval of our love as i only wish to spend eternity with you.

i’m sure you are aware with how hard the tsaritsa is to please, what with all the abrupt and frequent missions. perhaps it is delusional of me, but i yearn to escape from the exhausting and brutal demands of the fatui, to you and a realm of iridescent waters, where sunlight dances and reflects a mosaic of colours on every surface that it encounters

with you, i am simply human. i am not the eleventh harbinger of the fatui nor the loyal subject of the tsaritsa, bound to always obey her word. there are no expectations that i must exceed, and i can abandon all formalities and adopt a life of simplicity and tranquility. perhaps then, i can live without meaningless bloodshed.

although you never complain when i appear at your doorstep at ungodly times, the unfeigned worry and distress on your face is enough to dissolve my guilt when i disturb your sleep, repeatedly seeking you for your comfort. i can only begin to imagine how i have besmirched your reputation and how unhappy you truly are with me, even if you disguise it.

call me selfish, greedy or self-indulgent but i do not want to share you with anyone. you are my personal angel, salvation for the measly sinner i am. from the very start, i could never ascend to celestia, no matter how desperate i am or how many charitable acts i do. nothing will cleanse me of the blood on my hands or conceal the fact that i am practically drenched in the liquid that used to flow through veins and arteries, and once provided life to someone. yet miraculously, you convince me of the opposite, that i am deserving of someone as divine as you.

i adore you so much i fear that even spending eternity will not be able to satiate my hunger for your love and that it will only devour me whole. i do not believe in second chances, but if i was given another chance to love someone else, i would still pick you.

i will be back soon. please wait for me, darling.

love,

childe