#looking in the mirror and not being disgusted. everyone say thank u t!!

[incandescent-ruins]

semi infrequent positivity posting. i love how I look now, i like the purposeful and active decisions I have made to change my body and my appearance to be what i want them to be. testosterone did save me but it goes far beyond just that

[dr4kenlvr]

shop till' u drop!

pairings: mikey sano, mitsuya takashi, baji keisuke, peh-yan x gn!reader

genre/wc: fluff (0.9k); 0.2k-ish each

request: Could you do hcs for peh Mikey mitsuya and baji with an S/O who really likes clothes shopping and makes them come with to give their opinions and to hold bags? (Sorta like senju and Takemichi’s little outing)

MIKEY:

mikey finds shopping fun! he loves to go to different stores with you so you can pick out what you like and don't

tbh this guy doesnt have that much money on him so don't expect him to pay for everything—he'll buy you something from like... the cheapest store and give u a kiss as payment for everything else

he promises to buy you food though, partially because he's gonna eat it as well LMAO

he's a little familiar with the stores and what kind of clothes they sell because he often goes with emma, BUT tbh he's 70% clueless and is just following you wherever you go

you make him hold your bags sometimes and he doesn't complain about it until his arms are sore the next day

"y/nnnn they hurt!"

what a moody baby tsk tsk

mikey LOVES LOVES LOVES to give his opinion on different looks and garments!

he always has something to say and is very supportive of your choices

"hmm i like the lilac one, i think it compliments the pants you chose more." or "those pants would look so good with that one shirt i bought you last week"

is always thinking of the best for you <3 cause he wants his baby to look the best duh !!

MITSUYA:

number 1 man to go shopping with right here: it don't matter you friends, dating, neighbours, strangers, i don't give a fuck cause mitsuya will always be there to tell you what's good and what to trash

you better listen too, he knows what he's doing

he has such useful advice that you're almost overwhelmed by his expertise in fashion

it isn't just a shopping spree for you but for him too, you are both holding bags upon bags and it's all just a really fun experience ^^

you guys love to suggest stores to one another, trying to go to as many as you can in the time you have left

sometimes luna and mana will tag along since there's no one else to take care of them but it's so cute— you guys look adorable to everyone passing by: holding hands with one another and two little girls <333

despite being picky, he is so so supportive too and he thinks you look ethereal in almost everything

"love, just get both. you look amazing in both of those hm?"

is always blown away when you step out of the changing room, he'll step up to smoothen the fabric as he turns you towards the mirror with a bright grin: "see? i told you, you're absolutely stunning."

you return that supportiveness 100%—hyping him up as he shows off a new sweatshirt or jacket

sigh, what can i say? he's just the best <3 11/10 shopping partner

BAJI:

this mf don't know shit about fashion

tbh he'll throw on a old dirty smelly t-shirt and last week's sweats and call it an #OOTD (LMFAOOO)

(mitsuya actually yelled at him once for doing that because he's "fucking disgusting man, wash your shit!"—baji was baffled btw)

despite that, he does enjoy going to the mall for another one of your clothing sprees :)))

is always amazed by how many people go to the mall???? like it's literally crowded every corner and he's gotta make sure he doesn't lose you

so he always has a hand (if it's free from holding bags) on your lower back (helpppp i want him)

offers you to hold all your bags, and refuses to let you hold any that are somewhat heavy

"—give it babe, you just worry about grabbing that shirt before some bitch snatches it."

his mom gave him some money and he spends it all on you or food and a new pair of sneakers that she's been bugging for him to get

you got to help him choose what colour and decided on maroon sneakers with black laces

he felt extra cool <3

"thanks babe, i can kick some dude's ass now!"

"not here, kei. later?"

"kay', gotcha'"

PEH-YAN:

get ready to get turnt up because this is a mutual shopping spree too

you see the way peh dresses??? the guy knows what's up, he is ready to turn up in these stores and buy everything that remotely has a dragon design

i feel like his arms can't handle holding so many bags, so he'll ask if you can LMAO

"please? pretty please baby? i won't ask for anything else."

*sees a pair of jeans with bleached-washed dragon designs* "so—about not asking you for anything—"

you bought it for him <3 he was so happy

#1 hype man btw—he'll praise you like a god in anything you wear

oh and he'll fight someone for you too; if you and another person both grab for the last garment, peh is zooming next to you to wrestle it out of the other's hands

"GIVE ME THE FUCKING SHOE!"

(ya'll got kicked out but it's okay cause you got the shoes LMAOOO)

peh likes to take photos of you and set it as his phone's background, and since you two go so often— his background changes like every week

i feel like he sticks to 2-5 stores every time (lmao me), but he's open to any places you think has some things he'd like!

to summarize, bring peh-yan next time you go shopping kay'?

taglist: @dai-tsukki-desu @chuuae @kazuhoya @eriskaitto @gwynsapphire (send an ask or dm to be added!)

reblogs & comments are very appreciated! <3

[rurulyywrites]

🌩️💀Just us|Overblot!Dire Crowley X Mage!Gn!Reader|

Pairings: Overblot!Dire Crowley X Mage!Gn!reader

Plot: Always seeing Y/n in danger and putting herself in first defence. That's why. Crowley loves them so much he uses his magic to try and protect them even if Y/n is a master mage. That unconfessed love came from watching from afar, friendship, until he was so much of a coward he couldn't confess. Although.. what's happened to headmage?

Requested by: Ursula, ISTG I ALREADY TOLD U TO WRITE ME A PLOT IF YOU WANT A REQUEST I WILL MURDER YOUR WHOLE FAMILY BLOOD LINE I NEED A ONESHOT IDEA AND A PLOT WHERES THE PLOT MOTHERFUCKER IM SLEEP DEPRIVED, my friend.

Type: angst and yandere

•×•×•×•

TWs!:

• cannibalism

• genocide(?)

• murder

• very long oneshot

-----------------------------------

3rd person POV

「Years ago」

"A/n!!" Y/n said as soon as they spotted their childhood friend "Oh dear.."

"I MISSED YOU! WHY COULDN'T YOU GET OUT OF YOUR HOUSE?!"

Y/n said as they hugged them.

"Y/n it's.. uh.. we're in public.. please spare me the embarrassment.. it's very awkward being loud at the dorm sorting ceremony"

A/n said in a low voice as they say down with Y/n next to a black and white haired man.

"Ok ok fine. But this is really awesome!"

Y/n said as A/n sighed and rolled their eyes "Whatever.."

"hush, wouldn't want to be disobedient pups at the ceremony"

the black and white haired man said as Y/n chuckled and A/n looked at him disgusted

"What?"

"Please don't call me that. I barely know you-"

"Divus Crewel,nice to meet--" "don't care,didn't ask"

"WHAT?!"

"Hush back there!"

The headmage announced "Disobedient pups,you say?"

A/n said with a smirk without even looking at Crewel,"Tsk".

"Crewel don't be like that,I'm very sorry"

A man said as Y/n turned to the person and saw his half masked face

"Hey.. it's fine! A/n's just cranky"

Y/n said, completely awestruck

"I like the mask" they said as a smile formed in the masked person's face

"Thanks.. I'm assuming you're Y/n? Sorry for eavesdropping. I'm Crowley,Dire Crowley"

Crowley said as he extends his hand infront of the two people in between them,namely A/n and Crewel.

"Woah! Nice-.. claws? They look cool! I'm Y/n L/n by the way~!"

Y/n said as they shook his hand.

"Nice to- wah-! Hey!"

Crowley said as Y/n stole 3 of his finger claws "Is this real gold?"

Y/n asked as they examined the claw

"Well.. it's.. yeah.." "I wanna sell this but it has a different letter in each claw,must be valuable to you"

Y/n said as they returned the claws.

"T...thanks.." "hope we're all in one same dorm" Y/n hoped as A/n sighed

"Well with that attitude,one of us is definitely going to Ignihyde"

Crewel said as he looked at A/n who's face was resting in their hands "Killjoy as always".

"Next row of students! Form a line" the headmage announced

"That's our cue! C'mon A/n!" Y/n said as A/n ducked to avoid Y/n from dragging them,instead they caught Crowley's hand

"Wha--?!" Crowley was now being dragged by Y/n down to the dark mirror

"Guess they're go- watch where you're going! Dickhead"

A/n said as they accidentally bumped into someone and fell down "So sorry,are you ok?"

A dark skinned man said as he reached to them. "Y/n! I'm not A/n!" "Wait-- Crow-?!"

Y/n stopped their sentence as soon as they realized they were holding hands

"Ah,young love" One of the teachers said as Y/n blushed and faced the dark mirror.

"By the fierce aura of a young master mage,I shall associate your skill with... Ramshackle"

The dark mirror said as almost everyone was confused "Ramshackle?" The headmage asked the dark mirror

"Their power is unique,truly meant for a dorm with such" The dark mirror said as Y/n went back to their seat.

"The.. uh.. ceremony ended.."

Y/n said awkwardly as they walked around the nighttime courtyard with Crowley

"I'm suprised A/n and Crewel hate each other so much they're so happy they were opposing dorms and even declined this."

Crowley said as Y/n wrapped an arm around Crowley

"I love your vibe. I really do! The claws, mask and feathery Cape! Like please I'll give you 10,000 Madol/Thaumarks!"

Y/n said as Crowley looked hesitant

"If! I had 10k. I don't. But if I did I'd love to buy something close to your clothes"

Y/n said as Crowley chuckled.

What happened?..

What's going on?..

"One!"

"No.."

"TWO!"

Wake up.

"CROWLEY I SWEAR STOP!"

Y/n whined as Crowley repeatedly hit them with their pillow

"Cmonn! You said you'll always be with me!! Now come on, we're going to school together!"

"Wait-- SHIT I'M LATE FOR SCHOOL!" Y/n said as they immediately woke up and dashed to the bathroom,the next thing Crowley heard was the shower head turning on

"It's been.. almost 2 decades.." Crowley muttered to himself as he grips the pillow he used to playfully hit Y/n.

In his mask, a tear forms and flows down his cheek. "Hey Crow!!"

Y/n shouts from their bathroom

"Need help washing your back?" Crowley said jokingly while tears still flow down

"No bird brain! You can go to NRC first! You'll be late if you wait for me"

Y/n said as Crowley sighed

"Be there for the ceremony?"

"You bet!"

"I bet you won't" "BIRD BRAIN!" Y/n said as he heard the shower head turn off and see Y/n out of the bathroom,only wearing a towel while holding a bad of soap

"Y/n no."

"Y/n YES!"

They threw the soap directly at the pointy nose of Crowley's mask

"Jokes on you,this is your soap" Crowley said as he removes the soap "that I used to wash my buttcrack with"

"UGH!! YOU ARE DISGUSTING!".

What's happened?

It was my fault..

It was.. all me..

"You said you like Y/n,then go. They don't seem to not like you"

A/n said as Crowley joins them in arranging the library books.

"Well why don't you go tell Sam you like him? He doesn't seem to not like you"

Crowley teases as he rolled his eyes but as soon as he did,A/n threw a thick encyclopedia at his head.

"WHY?!"

"Deserved"

"He loved you,Y/n.."

"Why are you so dense?"

...

"Y/N!" Crowley shouts at Y/n.

"Crowley no!" Y/n shouts as Crowley dashed to the Master mage and 'rescued' them.

"CROWLEY THIS IS MY JOB!"

"Well your job is dangerous."

Crowley shouts back at Y/n as they both entered the closed to students bookshop.

"Y/n! Crowley! Sit down. Let's settle this like adults. No shouting. And Sam please brew some tea"

A/n said as the two angered friends sat down infront of each other.

"Crowley I've told you many times. Y/n is a master mage. Their job is to use magic to protect Twisted Wonderland onderland. When will you get that?"

A/n reminds Crowley.

"And I know that every time they finish a mission,they're fine. Y/n can't handle the slightest wound and if they did have one,they'd come straight to me. Crowley please understand that your overprotectiveness isn't getting you anywhere"

A/n scolds Crowley. He always felt so guilty during these..  'talk of adults' times. Although even if half his face is shown,he didn't look guilty nor did he look like he was blaming himself.

"Crowley. Look at me" Y/n said as they held his hand,making him turn his head to them. "I've told you this so many times. We've had these talk of adults numerous times. I know what I'm-.."

Y/n stopped their sentence because Crowley took his hand from them and walked away

"Dealing with..."

"Y/n. Talk to him. If the talk of adults can't have him start acting mature,then you can."

A/n said as they cupped Y/n's face

"He doesn't listen. You saw how he was when I was talking to him"

"Well a dog keeps fetching the stick you always threw at it until it gets tired"

A/n said as Y/n ruffled their eyebrows at them.

"what I meant was,even if Crowley keeps in trying to save you from your job. He'll eventually stop and think maybe you can do it. Maybe you can grab the stick yourself".

He swore he would.

He swore that he'll stop interfering me when doing my job.

He lied

Liar

Who's the liar?

"Crowley,I think I might need to look at your ring"

A/n tells Crowley. It's been a month ever since that discussion and he's still saving Y/n from their job.

"What?"

"Crowley your gem is halfway coated in clot. Use more magic to save Y/n will only mean an overblot"

A/n said as he took the ring from him.

"I can try and remove some of the clot,make it be at least less that halfway. There should be consequences and side effects--"

"and what's gonna happen to me if you remove the clot?"

Crowley said in an angered and scary tone. Catching the librarian off guard but soon was back to their composure

"You'll lose magic for a week--" "give me that"

Crowley said as he snatched the ring from A/n

"I have to save Y/n"

"but what if I don't need you to save me?"

As soon as Crowley turned around to leave A/n's bookshop,Y/n appeared.

"there will be a day"

"and it's not tomorrow or overmorrow! I can handle myse--"

"nonsense. I am more powerful than you"

"then you should know better than anyone that once you overblot. Everyone you know will be dead in mere seconds"

A/n said as Crowley turned around to see him holding a somewhat faint dusty purple colored potion.

"So I suggest you to give me the ring and I can remove the clot" A/n said as they threw the potion up and down.

"Crowley,do as they say" Y/n said as they prepared themselves in a fighting stance.

Too late...

I was.. too late.

There they were. In headmage's office,tied up in his chair.

"My my.. you're truly beautiful"

The man himself,Crowley, in his glorious overblot form. His face and clothes decorated in blood

"You know how much I love you,Y/n. The photos on the wall prove it"

"Well if you weren't such a creep then I would've liked you back!"

Y/n shouts as they try to free themselves from the rope. "Oh you'll love me. You will love me the same way I do to you"

Crowley said menacingly as he walks closer to Y/n and raised their chin up as he kissed their neck.

"Oh look at you.. letting me touch you like this. The same person who killed more than half of Night Raven and the murderer of the rest of the staff,including A/n"

"you didn't-?!"

"Oh I just did,care to see their corpses?"

Crowley said as he brought out 5 corpses with unrecognisable faces due to their extremely gory state.

But Y/n was able to tell each apart from their clothing.

Ashton Vargas had his whistle poke through one of his eye and the other was popped out of its socket. His head slashed in two and his brain on his chest.

Mozus Trein had his neck turned the other way and on his mouth was the head of Lucifer. Both his arms were twisted out of its joint.

Crewel had his chest to stomach open and his throat cut. In his open stomach was his fur coat now covered in blood. His organs stopped working and was covered with the fur of Lucifer.

Sam.. Sam looked.. terrifying. His hair pulled out of his head and his brain fully exposed. His eyes were in his mouth and get his tongue and 2 teeth were in the places of his eye socket with maggots infesting his exposed organs.

"What have you done to them?! Where's A/n?! Are they alive?! WHAT DID YOU TO THE INNOCENT STUDENTS' LIVES?!"

At this point,Y/n was crying for answers.

"I was making sure no one could make you blind and tell you that what I'm doing for you is wrong. You and I will forever be together,isn't that wonder--"

"WHERE IS A/N?!"

"CROWLEY YOU KNOW THEY'RE MY CHILDHOOD FRIE--"

"Shh.. I know.. I know~ but you don't have to worry a thing... I'll get these other bodies out your sight before you can puke and give you some of your comfort food"

Crowley said as he left the room.

He's insane..

He's crazy!

He doesn't know what he's done

"You're gonna love this!"

"It's your favourite food"

"With a little... Twist"

"I call it.. f/f with Librarian meat"

"I can assure you it tastes delectable~"

-----------------------------------

My friend that requested this literally sent me a Spotify playlist of all of "Sweeny Todd: the demon barber of Fleet Street" songs and the best thing I remembered there was 'meat pies' so this is what you got,Hun.

C A N N I B A L I S M ✨

[anonbebe97me]

Somebody Else (Changkyun Short Story || Part 2)

Pt.1 ||

Warning: some smut; will label parts accordingly.

“You’re in love with somebody else. Maybe I can offer some help; get over them by getting under me…”

“Y/N,” Changkyun’s voice is a low whisper, “Stop…” he pulls away and looks at her.

Y/N is breathless and her nose and lips are red from the blood flow to her face, “What?”

“I- I don’t want to do this while you’re sad. It’s-it’s not right,” He sits up, turning his back to her slightly, “I’m not that kind of guy.”

She bites her lip, embarrassed and feeling rejected- for the second time tonight. 

“Yeah, I understand…” She sits up and avoids looking him in the eye, “it would probably end up being a stupid mistake anyway…” 

He looks at her, disappointed by her words.

“Just go to sleep. I’ll take the couch…” He says, standing up and walking over to a small closet and taking out a pillow and some blankets.

She nods silently, pulling back the covers, but pauses before getting in,

 “Do you have any clothes I can borrow? This dress is uncomfortable,” She says.

He briefly glanced down at the dress; clinging to her body, every curve outlined perfectly- too tight to dance in, too short for church. 

“Yeah…” He looks away quickly, trying to keep his word.

He walks to his bed and bends down to open one of the built-in drawers. He focuses all his attention on taking out a shirt and sweats; trying desperately to ignore that her smooth, toned legs were so close to his face, and if he were to look up-

“Here,” He stands up quickly, and hands her the clothes.

She nods and grabs the clothes from him, still trying not to look him in the eyes.

“Thanks.”

He lets out a deep sigh and drops onto the bed after he hears the bathroom close. 

“What the hell…” He mutters in disbelief as he replays their kiss.

Picking up his phone, he unlocks it to find a bunch of notifications from the groupchat with Shownu and Kihyun, and then some from Jooheon.

Shownu: Did you see the post?

Kihyun: Dude… wth is going on? They’ve known each other for like what? A week?

Shownu: It may as well be a week.

Kihyun: Poor Y/N… 

Shownu: Changkyun, where are you?

He sighs, exiting the chat. He can’t deal with them right now… He taps on Jooheon’s conversation.

Jooheon: Are you okay? You seemed weird on the phone. I wanted to invite you out for drinks, on me. Help me celebrate, asshole

Changkyun rolls his eyes and tosses the phone across the room to the couch. 

When the bathroom door opens, he looks up.

If he wasn’t already having a hard time holding it together… he definitely is now.

His shirt is big on her, and goes just past her finger tips in length- and the sweats…are in her hand.

He swallows and looks down, trying to pretend not to notice, “Sweats didn’t fit?” 

She shakes her head, “No, but it’s find- I’m wearing my own shorts,” She raises the shirt up slightly to show him the tiny shorts she’d been wearing under her dress.

He nods, “Cool. Toss ‘em to me, I’ll wear them.”

She nods and then pauses for a moment, “Changkyun,”

He looks back up at her, “Yeah?”

“Catch,” She balls up the pants and launches them at his face, more forcefully than one might imagine for just a pair old sweats.

“Hey!” He laughs.

She smiles and crawls into his bed, “You’re welcome.”

And just like that, the awkwardness and confusion seemed to dissipate between them.

He chuckled softly as he walked over to turn the lamp off.

“Good night…” He says into the darkness.

“Good night, Changkyun…”

Sun pours in, shining on Changkyun’s closed lids. “Mm…” He whines, slowly coming out of his sleep.

He blinks a few times, adjusting his eyes to the harsh light. He gets up and walks to the window, irritatedly sliding them closed. 

Looking over at the bed, he notices it’s empty. He looks over and sees the bathroom door closed, and he assumes she’s probably inside. 

He sits back down on the couch, and rubs his face. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees the t-shirt he’d let Y/N borrow the night before, folded neatly and placed on the bedside table. 

“Huh?” He walks over to the bathroom and knocks on the door. When he hears no answer, he turns the knob slowly and opens it up;

Empty.

He scratches the back of his neck and walks over to get his phone from the floor next to the floor. Three missed calls from Jooheon, one text from Y/N.

He opens up her text first.

Y/N: Hey- had to go take care of some stuff. I didn’t wanna wake u but dnt worry, caught an uber. Ttyl.

Sighing, he moves on to the missed calls from Jooheon. He braces himself for the call; Jooheon’s always been a morning person.

The phone rings once, twice, and on the third, Jooheon answers- as expected, his voice is chipper and riddled with excitement.

“Finally, dude!”

It makes Changkyun want to gag.

“Hey…you called?”

“We’re gong to breakfast.”

“I’m not sure I’m really up to it-”

“Shut the fuck up. We’re going. Get dressed, I’m on my way,” Jooheon hangs up before he can say anything else.

“Ugh…” He groans and tosses his phone next to him. 

He lazily throws on some clothes and stares at himself in the mirror as he brushes the alcohol out of his mouth. Though he isn’t hungover, he feels like trash. 

His phone lights up and he picks it up;

Jooheon: I’m outside.

Changkyun rolls his eyes and shoves his phone and keys in his pocket before walking out of his apartment.

Jooheon talks the entire way to the Denny’s Diner. He goes on about his fiance; the details of how he proposed, her reaction… a bunch of things Changkyun can’t quite bring himself to care about, because all he can think of is Y/N crying her eyes out last night at the bar.

“Are you okay, man?” Jooheon stares at him from across the table.

Changkyun looks down at the mug of black coffee in front of him.

“Jooheon…I want to be excited for you…”

Confusion fills Jooheon’s face, “What do you mean you ‘want to be’ excited for me?”

Changkyun brings the mug up to his face; the smell alone begins to wake him up. 

“You’re my best friend. I love you, man. I want no more than to cheer for you, and tell you that I’m happy for you- but you’ve only known this girl for a few months- don’t you think you’re going a little fast?” 

Jooheon stares back incredulously, “I mean, sure we haven’t known each other for a long time, but love doesn’t know time-”

“Don’t give me that shit,” Changkyun rolls his eyes.

“What shit? I love her. She loves me. I want to marry her- and either you’ll support me, or you won’t. It’s not like we’re hurting anyone-”

Changkyun slams the mug down on the table, and the few people eating around them turn to look toward their table.

“You know damn well that at least one person is hurt by the decision you’re about to make,” His eyes are filled with disdain for his best friend- a friend he’s starting to feel he no longer recognizes.

Jooheon leans back in his seat, “I don’t know who you’re talking about.”

Lies.

“Oh really?” He leans forward, “Then tell me…why was Y/N the only one you didn’t tag in your engagement post, huh?”

Jooheon’s expression is a cross between guilty and sad, “I…forgot.”

More lies.

“Bullshit.” 

“Look, I didn’t invite you out here for you to bash me. Don’t I deserve to be happy? This is the biggest commitment I’ve ever made- shouldn’t I get to enjoy it?” Jooheon’s feeling sorry for himself, and it disgusts Changkyun.

“Then let me save you the money and leave now,” He gets up and throws a twenty down onto the table, “I’ll talk to you another time.”

At the bar last night, Changkyun wanted to take Y/N’s pain away- and if yelling at Jooheon is anything close to that, then he’ll do it.

Y/N sits, biting her nails as the anxiety builds in her chest. She’s non-confrontational by nature. If there’s a way to avoid argument or disagreement, she’ll do anything to do so- but this is one confrontation she can’t run from. Not this time…

“Y/N?” Jooheon asks, surprised to see her sitting on the floor outside of his door. He’s carrying bags of groceries, and his keys are in hand, ready to unlock the door.

“H-Hey Jooheon,” She puts on a small, fake smile.

He notices, but pretends not to, “What brings you here today?” He’s trying to sound casual, but he’s nervous. 

“I uhm…actually wanted to talk to you about something.”

He nods, not looking up at her, “Alright…come in.”

He unlocks the door and leads her into his apartment. It’s much bigger than Changkyun’s, and the furniture is a little more sleek, “What’s up?” 

He won’t meet her eyes, and she can tell he’s tense.

“I won’t be long… I just…I need to get this off of my chest…” She stands in front of him, and this time, he has no choice but to look her in her face…and what he sees in her eyes, breaks his heart.

“I’ve loved you for most of our lives. Everyone knows it. And even though we’ve never talked about it, Jooheon…I know you’ve known for a long time as well…”

“Y/N, I-”

“Don’t interrupt. I need to get this out.

I’m not telling you this because I’m expecting you to choose between her or me. In fact, I’m positive that you’d choose her, and that you’ll choose the next girl, and the girl after that.

I don’t want to be in denial anymore.

And I don’t want you to feel like you have to hide or tiptoe around because of me.

I just want you to know…” Tears well in her eyes.

Though the words coming out of her mouth are painful to speak, they’re equally freeing as well.

Jooheon’s heart is heavy, and he wants to hold her in his arms the way he usually would during a difficult moment.

“I want you to know that…I’m letting you go.”

Her heart feels immediately lighter than before.

Jooheon opens his mouth to say something, but she quickly turns around and walks out of the door before he can utter a single word. 

She doesn’t want to hear it.

Just like Jooheon, she’s made a choice as well;

herself.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

“Coming!”

Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock.

“Dammit, I said I’m coming!”

Changkyun swings the door open, ready to snap at whoever dares to disturb the peace and quiet.

And there she is.

“Y/N?” He asks, confused.

Without a word, she quickly walks in and shuts the door behind her. 

He’s about to say something else, but before he can, she’s crashing her lips against his- and this kiss is different from last night’s;

It’s passionate, messy-

feverish.

He can’t think, can’t rationalize…

all that exists is her body pressed against him and her hands entangled in his hair.

“Changkyun...fuck me,” Her breathless whisper triggers a part of him that last night, he was able to successfully contain,

but now, he’s sober minded and the taste of her tongue in his mouth is too delicious to ignore any longer… 

“We can skip the wine and dine, go straight for the wind and grind; she wanna come, I can make it happen- fuck trying.”

[lady-dimitrescus-loving-wife]

Yandere Itachi x Darkskinned! Mindless Slave! Insecure! Masochist! OC || Shattered Hearts and Beautiful Molders

🕸📖

Enjoy!

TW: Gore, rape, sex, abuse, self harm, self destruction, racism, etc..

Enter at your OWN risk.

Also sorry for any grammar, this is old after all!

~

Itachi laid peacefully on his couch. One arm resting behind his head tangled in the dark long locks. Outside you could here the heavy rain beating down on the solid glass. Its been like this for a couple hours now and was also the result of him falling asleep. The storm brewed and his slowly found himself waking up.

First he moved his other hand that had been resting on his hard strong upper body. His long fingers twitched against the fabric of his fishnet shirt. Next he turned his head to the side finally taking in the sound of the tv and the rain. He twitched before opening his dark mysterious eyes. For a second he felt as though he was still sleep and he rolled over falling straight off the fluffy surface to the hard ground hitting his chin on the floor first and groaning loudly.

He grumbled reaching his painted black fingernails up to his chin and rubbing the now stinging skin. Slowly he sat up and looked around. The floor was dirty thanks to the many bottles of alcohol and soda. He even had bowls of ramen sitting on the floor. With squinted eyes and a slight o shape as a mouth he tried to think of what happened before he was sleep. He stood up and looked out the window suddenly with a clear face, he could see it now.

He was lonely.

That's why the house ended up like the way it did. He had no one to joke with or tease considering Sasuke had decided to go to college recently. Sure Itachi was happy for his baby brother, who wouldn't be. He just didnt like to be alone. With a sigh the man walked down the large hallway to the marble bathroom. He stopped when he noticed it was a mess in there also. Clothes were scattered all over the floor accompanied by white crumbled up napkins.

He shivered at his own disgusting habits. However he was only a man. He groaned and yanked off his shirt tossing it in the sink for the time being as he pulled down his pants and boxers letting his body breathe the air. He didn't notice how bad it smelled. It had been like that for a while now so he didn't notice it anymore.

He walked to the shower and turned it on before stepping in ignoring how his cock and balls slapped against his skin. He yawned trying to wake himself up as he stepped in under the warm water. Washing his body he woke up more opening his eyes a bit wider. About an hour later he got out.

He glanced at the mirror seeing how foggy it was and how the napkins seemed more 'damp'. He ignored it for the time being as he exited the bathroom and trailed down the bottle coated hall to his room. As he grabbed the doorknob he felt a bit eery of himself. Either way, he still proceed making him freeze in the doorway seeing the mess. His bed was on its side creating a large dent in the wall as though it had been flipped roughly in a fit of pure rage. The tv was laying on the floor broken with different abstract collors in it and making a slight screeching noise that obviously told him that it was broken.

He noticed more nakpins and that the sheets were balled up and for a sexond he question himself on how horny a straight and lonely human man could be. His clothes were skattered all over the floor in small hills and honestly he was scared to pick them up, scared tgat any creature could pop out at him and send him into cardiac arrest. The window for whatever reason was open letting in the hard rain and cold air and he quickly ran over and slammed it shut with a soft irked smile.

"Damn it Itachi.. Congratulations on being the grosses person ever."

He sighed as he ran his hands through his long inky black hair. He decided that any mess that he had cause was going to get cleaned up when he came back from the store. He needed a new tv after all and napkins... He found himself a pair of boxers and jeans letting the water from his hair trail down his strong naked chest. He dried himself before picking up a shirt.

For a second he stared at it with a look of suspicion before slowly and cautiously he sniffed it. It took him less than three seconds to notice how loud he yelped at the smell. He put it back down with a sigh and pulled on a heavy jacket to protect him from the outside weather. The man was outside locking his door in less than a second before walking to his car and unlocking the doors, he quickly jumped in and turned the vehicle on.

~

Ashley sighed softly walked up the street holding her plush body to keep some warmth on here somehow. She didn't remember how she had gotten here or where she was going but she knew she wasn't wanted anywhere she could tell from how the people looked at her. The rain ran down her brown skin and short curly hair wetting her wounded body all over. She continued to walk, at this point she wasnt sure if she was crying or if tgere was just rain in her eyes, a lot of the time she couldn't tell. Where was she and how would she find out without the locals casting hate and judgement on her? She shivered at the heavy droplets that beated down on her skin making the flesh seem red and the many wounds under her bandages itchy.

She whimpered out just from the despise she felt for herself as she walked. She trailed down the empty road and froze for a second in pure fear when a car drove by splashing water that had been dribbling down the sideway side along the way but slowed down before any could hit her. She looked up at the headlights like a scared rat not to mention some would say she looked like one and for a second she was tempted to ask if they could give her a ride whoever they were.

Where would she even go?

She turned her head in the idea wirh a shaky frown. No one would help her from what she could see. Not only were her clothes that were ripped and dirty a scare but apparently he skin color made the people a bit cautious. Not only did this seem true but she didn't want to force her problems on such a human. She looked away from the car and she couldn't tell if she was imagining it or not by the vehicle seemed to be slowing down even more driving next to her.

She tried to ignore it scared that someone would jump out and grab her and beat her to a pulp just for being around, thats what her last master would do anyway. She was shocked to see a beautiful man poke his head out the rolled down window.

Thanks to the action his long raven hair was getting soaked against his car door but he didnt seem to mind as his eyes fixed on her. He looked at her with his black eyes and proceeded to put on a friendly smile for the small human like girl. He didnt want to scare her away she could see and tell. She may have been a mindless doll but she could understand such an human action.

"Hey, are you ok?"

The man asked and physically seemed shocked when she smiled a weak smile. The winds had changed making wet leaves fly around his car and land in her  hair. He found her nodding her head shaking some water droplets out of her hair as a result onto her naked feet that were covered in bandaging the same as her arms and from her neck to her shoulders. Itachi stared at her with now a soft frown as she started walking again trying not to stumble and seem like a newborn dear. He wondered what happened to her and found himself growl at the thought of someone hurting her. He sighed. He hasn't seen one of these girls in a while not has he experienced feelings like these.

A strong independent woman.

Most girls he had met so far wanted nothing other than to get in his pants, to tell him how he was hot and sexy or to bitch about how their parents didn't understand them or how their boyfriend was a jerk hoping deep inside that it got them closer to him, he hated gurls like that but being the nice guy he was, he gently turned them down. He tried to keep the thought of her harmed body down. He'd figure it out once he got her to get inside the car.

This girl was strong but he knew he couldn't just leave her out here. She looked as though she could pass out at any second seeing how she lost quite some blood and how her gorgeous reddish brown eyes seemed shut. Not only that but the rednecks down the street would kill her for sure if they caught a hot glimpse of her. He glared harshly and deathly at his own thought. He didn't mind her skin color like everyone else did, if anything he thought it made her prettier. He drove forward catching up with her before she took a turn at the corner of the road.

Where even was she going?

He got more worried and didn't stop himself from honking the horn to get her attention which clearly worked as she visibly flinched at the noise scared that the man was going to hit her with his car even though she hadnt done anything wrong. He noticed the fear and smiled sadly. She was definitely coming home with him whether he had to waste hours out here or not, leaving her was not an option. She looked at back at him seeing how the man had did a u-turn to make it easier for them to speak.

Once again he poked his head out the car and spoke. He really hope his next sentence didn't scare here away. He looked at here thick and curvy body and had to ignore his heterosexual thoughts as a man. He couldn't tell her how beautiful she was yet but he did blush a bit. She stared ar him tilting her head softly in confusion.

"C-can you get in for me Ms? I'd be a monster if I didn't allow you shelter."

He spoke softly. For about a minute she stared some more before walking over to the door and leaning down softly. She looked inside glance over the nice seats and clean carpet and frowned a bit seeming how it looked like somewhere or something she didn't deserve. She looked away, her eyes cold and distant as she let the rough winds slap her over and over.

I'm not worthy.

"I-I can't sir. I'll ruin it."

She whimpered softly and he frowned softly seeing the wet bandages get bled through. What had happened to her and who even was she? She'll ruin it? He didnt think much about what she meant by that so he only shook his head.

"Please, get in. It's ok."

After a gentle argument she reached out with harshly shaky hands and opened the door, he frowned more getting more worried about this girl. Slowly and like a small scared animal she got in and sat down stiffly in the seat, it took him about fifteen minutes into the car ride to notice she was actually sitting but forcing herself to air sit. He let out a soft sigh and let her knowing that right now wouldn't be the time to comment on it. He looked at the bixes in his backseat to make sure nothing got broken as he drove home.

He blinked widely suddenly before looking at her remembering the mess had he left himself at home. She flinched and looked up at him with scared cat-like eyes.

His mouth opened to speak but he had forgotten looking like a dried up fish out of the ocean. He just couldn't get over how beautiful she was and how such a beautiful creature was in his car, just for him.

"S-Sir?"

He snapped out of it. Slowly turning his head back to the road tightening is grip on the wheel to control himself.

"When we got home, please don't mind the mess."

~~~

Ok ok I know the first chapter is shit however I got this from my wattpad which was when I posted it in 2018 at like the beginning of the year... I’ve changed mate so just work with me.

-A

[parkjmini]

bts as fuckboys

[a/n]: inspired by @sweetersuga  | original post: x i wrote it as the perspective that you’re already close friends w them/have been with them before !!

Seokjin

he’s the funny, sarcastic one where he could be kind of mean bc he takes it a lil far

“you’re such trash you sleep with every girl”

“at least I can get someone to sleep with me”

he flashes a smile in the hall bc he KnOws iT GeTs oN YouR NeRveS

“When’s my birthday”

“January 1st bc u set off my fireworks baby”

“i am disgusted”

piggy back rides on those goddamn strong broad set of shoulders ooffff

“I’ll call you, ya?”

He never calls u bc he probably forgot too busy improvin himself

you have a streak with him and all he sends are selfies with the caption “I hope your day is as beautiful as I am (:”

He catches you staring in class one day and he’s like “take a pic, it’ll last longer babe”

And omg he ACTUALLY TELLS YOU TO TAKE A PHOTO OF HIM

so now u have a gallery full of jin and he wont let u delete them bc he thinks they’re all masterpieces you do too but youd never admit it

the only fuckboy that’s tolerable bc he’s rlly just a big goof 

“why don’t you ever have sleeves on your shirt jin”

“these shoulders are on display, honey, can’t cover up the jewels”

he’s kind of obnoxiously loud that u want to shove ur fist into his mouth to sh u t  him uP 

“dude, jimin’s hot”

“okay but so am i ??”

“ok ya youre really hot but so is jimin”

“jiMIN (Y/N) THINKS YOU’RE—-”

“–ANNOYING THANKS SEOKJIN PLS SHUT UP WHY R U STILL TALKING WOW”

“just trying to get my baby some more dick jeEZ”

Yoongi

“hey yoongs why dont we go on a date??”

“uuhhhhhh since when were we dating? lmao dont trip” 

gets a new number every 2 months bc he loves fucking w them crazy bitches too much

“sometimes you need to mess around with the ones who can bite off your dick, being risky is hot (-;”

“BEinG riSkY iS hOt ya u wont have a penis anymore at the rate you’re going”

kind of smells like a mixture of alcohol and cologne 

hand-on-ass-when-he-hugs

“let’s play a game, if u lose u have to take off ur clothes, if i lose u have to take off ur clothes”

“wait but yours stay on ?? wtf yoongi??”

“no mine will come off right after i see u naked (;”

the one to play with the ends of your skirt/dress/shirt bc it gets u so flustered and he lives seeing u flustered 

straight up Arrogantᵀᴹ at times its hot but ur so annoyed by it that u wanna knock some sense into him

wont ask for nudes but will ask to see some goods

“can i see ur tits”

“for the 4039th time, no”

“well, a man can try”

SMIRKY MC SMIRKY HERE like it just comes OUT of NOWHERE and it is OUT to ATTAC 

u dont have a snap streak w him bc it always breaks bc he replies every 3 years bc he was “busy”

but he’s always the fourth person to like your instagram posts???????

and to comment the water droplet/eye/tongue emoji combo ????

loves when u swat his hands away from gripping your thigh 

Hoseok

(i wanted to use this gif but it was so big and rectangle and didnt fit but u need to see that gif to really take in the fuckboy bc i cannot find a representation as accurate as that gif is)

always greeting you whenever he sees you

“hey babygirl”

“hoseok we just saw each other in chemistry”

“ok and????? can’t i say hi to my baby?”

“but im not”

“lmao every girl is my baby”

raises his eyebrows any time you fix your dress or your shirt

asks to borrow a pencil and never returns it

“where is my pencil hoseok”

“where is my kiss (y/n)”

“we didnt agree to that”

“well i didnt agree to give it back”

“dO u NoT kNOW whAT BoRRoW meANS”

loves to share so he shares a lot of his snacks with u

“omg i love snacks!!”

“oh baby me too” and trust me, he’s not talking about the food

has the brightest, kindest smile so it catches you off guard when he says some snarky fuckboy comment

loves physical contact !!!!! always has a hand on your back, or shoulder, or thigh, or hand, or arm

lip LICKING PARDON ME HIS TONGUE IS UNCONTROLLABLE

lets you wear his hats/jackets/hoodies bc he thinks youre sooo cute in his clothes

he walks around school with his hands in his pockets like a doUCHEBAG

catches you off guard by spinning you around with his arm around your waist 

uses the line “im a dancer” to get girls what an eyeroll

the type to drag you onto the middle of the dance floor at a club just so he could show off his skillz which are actually super bomb like even ur impress and uve seen them 308443 times

he got that sweatpants dick print 

Namjoon

changes his contact name to Daddy on your phone

Mr. Ass Man he loves ass ASS ASS ASS SO MUCH ASS BIGGEST ASS LOVER

“oh shit did you see her ass”

“look here bootylover123 stfu”

winks at you a lot in the halls 

“do you have a fucking eye problem namjoon”

“its a wink” 

“u do it so much that im beginning to think youre eye is having a spasm 

lets you copy his homework if he got a hug in return

the type to comment a peach emoji on your instagram photos even if there is no butt involved

loves when you sit on his lap 

one time there weren’t enough seats on the bus and he patted his leg for you to sit

“i know you hate standing (y/n), take a seat itll be fine”

“why can’t u be a gentleman and give up your seat for me?”

*alMOST CHOkES from LAUGHING* “me???!!! a gentleman??? wow u expect too much, just sit your big ass down on daddy’s lap or suffer standing”

buys you lunch bc he loves showing off his e x p e n s i v e w a l l e t 

he could go from having a full blown brilliant monologue as to why he exists to giggling about how your moles r arranged into the shape of a penis 

calls girls mami or ma 

asks for ass pics at like 1:32 AM 

and u send him pictures of ur elbow crease 

and he actually thinks its ur butt

BLASTS baby makin music from his car and causes a public disturbance 

has the highest count of broken beds, not bc of a high body count, but bc he actually breaks the bed everytime he sleeps w someone

Jimin

spaces out when ur wearing a low cut top bc hes too busy staring at ur cleavage 

his streak snaps are either mirror pics, his abs, mirror pic of his abs, and occasional dick pics

“wanna play 20 questions (;”

“we’ve played 20 questions like 20 times already”

“ok gr8 ill start first: will u let me hit it from the back??”

offers to netflix and chill all the time and it sux bc he actually knows all ur fav shows

ok let me reiterate, jimin knows all ur favorite anythings bc he listens to u 75% of the time bc he thinks ur voice is sexy 

will never fail to compliment you when u look good 

“damn baby, is this all for me????”

“no i just dont want to look like a hobo today”

gets super jealous when any other guys speak to u even tho hes piping down like 8 other girls 

“jimin they’re my frIENDS ur not even my bf why u tripping”

“they arent acting like theyre ur friends. i know fuckboy behavior when i see it (y/n) its my occupation, i do the same shit w girls”

“thats good then, someone else wants me too”

“not good bc ur HOT ASS IS MINE )-:”

youre saved as #1 babygirl on his phone no objections

walks into class with a new hickey in a new place every day 

he has SEX EYES u could never look him directly in the eyes bc theyre so captivating 

fucking walks like an arrogant prick down the hall and whistles when u pass 

brags about his big dick when its honestly not as exaggerated as he says 

has a picture of you in one of his shirts as his homescreen wallpaper 

Taehyung

“i wont show anyone, im not messed up like that” yea be careful w this one honey, pretty sure jungkook, hobi, yoongs, namjoon all know how ur tits look like

has the perfect innocent face where u have no idea that he’s fucking 4 other girls

always responds after 12 am and calls u at 3 am 

“tae im fucking sleeping”

“damn thats hot what else u doin??”

“hanging up on u goodbye im going to block ur number”

“pls don-”

uses the line, “i just dont think we’re compatible” on E V Ery GIRL 

offers to hangout but never follows up with it bc he’s never seen out in public with a girl unless its his momma 

“jasmine is telling everyone you gave her chlamydia, u get checked bro??”

“dont worry about it”

body count means a lot to him 

loves hugs bc he likes feeling boobs squished against him

sometimes INTENTIONALLY lowers his voice bc he KNOWS ur into that shit 

thinks youre playing hard to get when rlly u just dont care lol

“i know u want all of this, (y/n)”

“i think ur mistaken”

“right bc i want all of u (:” 

“ya tae let’s not get ur feelings mixed w mine ok thx u”

NO SUCH THING AS PERSONAL SPACE the boy is a koala and will latch onto u 

Jungkook

the biggest fuckboy of them all

has slept w almost every girl in the school and is v proud of it

“what’s your name again”

“rlly jungCOCK” 

“ok (y/n) i know ur fkcing name so can u learn mine”

u dont think he’s ever had a gf b4 bc he doesnt believe in labels OR commitment which hes pretty vocal abt 

unlike jimin, he doesnt own up to his dick pics and swears that they were “”accidents””

SCrEENsHOTS! but ur smart so ur face is NEVER in ur pics

“who’s boobs r on ur phone kook”

“yours”

“you WOULDNT DARE”

“i dont have photogenic memory (y/n) i wanted to remember those cuties without a shirt on (;”

looks too fucking good w a fresh cut that u need to avoid him in the halls or ull melt to goo

only owns white tees and timbs lmao hahahaha 

smirks when you bend down to pick something up 

that or he yells, “one more time, babe!”

“wat u doin”

“showering”

“without me!!1???” 

he’s on tinder too so once he’s done with the sampling pool at school, he can broaden his horizons 

a car enthusiast and will get offended if u dont think his rims r cool

thinks youre really hot when you yell at him or hurt his feelings 

youre his prized possession bc he actually likes talking to u but will never admit it 

has a specific nickname for u that he doesnt call his other girls bc its YOURS !! 

“hey cutie”

“hey jungCOCK”

hates the nickname jungCOCK 

[holyhollland]

Because You’re You

Bill Denbrough x Reader

Requested by @that-loser00: Could you write something about reader being really insecure about herself and Ben or Bill help her out and make her feel better and it's just really fluffy and cute? Also I absolutely love your writing, you're so talented!

A/N: I love Bill and I love this request! Sorry it’s kinda short, but I hope you like it!

Request something friends :)

There you were, sitting in the tub in the bathroom with the lights turned off. You sat there, staring absentmindedly at the door. There were dry trails where tears had previously fallen. You had cried until there were no tears left, all the emotion drained out of you. Thus leaving you sitting in the tub, feeling confused and insecure.

The door suddenly slowly opened, making a small creak as someone stepped through. “Y/N, a-are y-y-you ok?”, the voice stuttered. Bill walked through the door frame into the dark room, looking around. His eyes finally landed on you, immediately softening when he saw the distraught mess you had become.

He walked over and climbed into the tub, sitting next to you. “Wh-where w-w-were you t-to-today? E-ever-everyone m-mi-m-missed you,” he asked, grabbing you hand, tracing smalls circles with his thumb.

You turned to him sniffling, “I uh woke up and wasn’t feeling well.” Your eyes began getting blurry, tears threatening to fall at any second. He saw your eyes filling with tears and shook his head, “T-that’s n-not t-the r-real r-re-reason.”

Your lip started quivering, tears silently falling down your face. “I...I was j-just…,” you started to quietly talk but started breaking down. Bill wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer to his chest. The two of you sat there for a while in the silence. Eventually you pulled away, wiping the remaining tears off your face.

“You r-ready t-t-to t-t-try ah-again?”, the boy asked, his eyes full of concern. You slowly shook your head up and down.

“I-I woke up this morning to get ready to hang out with everyone today, so it started off like every normal day. But when I looked at the mirror, I just broke down,” you whispered. Bill grabbed your hand, reassuring you that he was there listening to every word.

“I started thinking about how boring my hair is, how I still have baby fat in my cheeks, or how I’m not as skinny as Bev or Greta. Which led me to think how I’m ugly and disgusting and that I’ll never have a boyfriend and nobody will ever love me. It also made me think about who I am in the losers’ club, and I’m literally a nobody. All you guys love Bev because she’s funny and caring and wonderful and I’m over here feeling like shit because I’m nothing like that. I’m an annoying piece of shit that you all have to put up with. So that’s why I didn’t come today. I’m trying to distance myself from the losers’ club because I’m a hideous, depressed idiot that deserves to be alone in this world,” you finished off, so upset that you didn’t realize you had started crying again.

Bill looked at you with a puzzled look on his face. “W-what the h-hell Y/N? U-ugly? An-anoy-anoying? I-idiot? W-wh-well I a-agree w-with the last o-one,” he gave a small chuckle.

You just rolled your eyes, wiping away the tears. “Wow thanks for cheering me up,” you said sarcastically.

“Th-that’s n-n-not what I m-mean. I hon-honsetly th-think you-you’re gorgeous. I love how beautiful your eyes stand out against your face. I love how fiesty you get when someone disrespects you. I love how you love everyone you meet, always trying to find the good in them. I love how you confide in me even before Bev, which is a pretty crazy accomplishment if I do say so myself. Anyways what I’m trying to say is that you are a wonderful person and I’m beyond happy that we are best friends,” Bill stated, smiling down at you.

You looked back at him with wide eyes, “you...you didn’t stutter. You only do that when you’re passionate about someone…,” you trailed off remembering Georgie.

“W-well I love yo-you Y/N,” Bill whispered, pulling you close to his chest again, “I-I lo-love you b-beca-because y-you-you’re you.”

Tags: @wheelerswaffles @ubertrashmouth @mattie-writes @willandspace @maroon-richie @edspaghet @lavenderuris @staneduris

[incorrect-astro]

Can you do 5 v. with your fave ship? I just really need to see someone write this it's amazing

YOU ASK FOR MY FAVORITE SHIP SO I GIVE YOU BINU this is got hella fucking long bc tbh i Loved this but this is 1,000+ words of pure bullshittery honestly but yes i hope u like it!!!!!

playlist i listened to while writing this ;)

5; v: “You live across from me in our apartments and we smile when we see each other but we don’t really know each other and oh you’re the stripper at my friend’s stag do/hen night fuck this is really uncomfortable”

he was cute. his eyes were sharp but turned soft when he aimed his gentle smile towards him

he was barely shorter than Dongmin, but seemed far more muscular than he had ever dreamed of being

he’s like a big puppy!!!

Dongmin is so WHIPPED for this boy and he doesn’t even know his name

cough cough fast forward to when they ran into each other while getting their mail and Dongmin very obviously sneakily peeks over at Cute Smile Neighbor’s mail to see his name

Moon Bin

THAT’S SO CUTE huh what a nice name

anyway fast forward AGAIN to Myungjun inviting him to his bachelor party

“Dongmin please come you’re so violently single we can find ur gay ass a hot stripper bf”

so anyway Dongmin ended going even though he Didn’t Want To

he didn’t want to bc strip clubs make him Uncomfortable of course not bc Cute Smile Neighbor Bin and Dongmin as well, of course (aka he found out and lowkey (Highkey) stalks him to their building’s gym every evening aha WHAT) works out every evening during the time of the party what of course not

so the day of the party exactly an hour before he’s supposed to get to the club Dongmin gets all dressed up

aka These Jeans and This Shirt And Jacket and This Hair

damn @ himself he looks Great

fast forward he’s at the strip club now and he meets up with Myungjun who promptly shows him his ring for the 992852635th time

“Dongmin look look at the ring Jinwoo gave me isn’t it so beautiful!!”

“yes Myungjun it’s just as beautiful as every other time you’ve shown me”

so okay it’s been like half an hour since Dongmin got to the club and now everyone’s here !! Dongmin leaves FOR LIKE A MINUTE to go to the bathroom and as he’s walking back-

“hey Dongmin we got your single ass a stripper!!”

N O Myungjun fuck of-

WA I T

that’s the dude the GUY

???

what is his cute smile neighbor doing here??

?????

why is he coming over??

oh

o fuck

WEEWOOWEEWOO

HE’S A FUCKING STRIPPER

HIS HOT CUTE SMILE NEIGHBOR IS A STRIPPER

AT THIS CLUB?

he’s going to die

he’s actually going to die?? oh my god

cute neighbor hasn’t noticed it’s him yet

“Dongmin, this is MB! MB this is Dongmin :))))))”

Myungjun what the fuck PLEASE STOP TALKING

o well MB (?? y’all i couldn’t think of another stage name for moon boy so??) looks fuckin stunned now he recognizes him now

“oh, hi!” CUTE SMILE

“um”

@ himself pls say SOMETHING more than um

“yes hello”

very fucking clever Dongmin u useless gay

well that was a short lived interaction bc MB ??? Bin???? is grabbing his hand now and pulling him towards one of the curtained off half-circle couches

HELP HIM

he closes the curtain and

OH MY GOD

HE’S TAKING OFF HIS SHIRT

o shit he’s F I T

he’s stroking Dongmin’s thigh oh my god

Myungjun how much fucking money did this cost

AKJHFKJSG

he is SITTING ON TOP OF HIM

Dongmin thinks he’s dying

he can’t feel his heartbeat but also he knows he still has blood left so? what is This

R18 R18 NO

well Myungjun sorry @ ur wallet but this Cannot Go On

“hi um, i’m sorry i can’t.. do… this”

Bin ?? MB??? stops and is just kinda Sitting on Dongmin’s legs now ??

why isn’t he??? saying anything????

Dongmin no

DO NOT OPEN UR MOUTH

DON’T START TALKING

DON’T ANXIOUSLY MUMBLE A N Y T H I N G YOU PRICK

Dongmin, anxiously mumbling,

“i’m really sorry it’s just..  you’re really cute and i actually kind of know you i guess?? we don’t really talk but i know you recognize me and i just-i don’t feel like it’s right if we skip over like 8 steps and go straight into this”

Dongmin exactly 5 seconds later, blushing violently,

“ohmygodpleaseignoreallofthat”

Bin, the stripper. also blushing violently because !!!!!! ANGEL NEIGHBOR (who’s apparently named Dongmin ?? thanks @ angel neighbor’s friend) THINKS HE’S CUTE!!!!!!!!!

Bin, screaming internally calmly,

“you think i’m cute?”

OF COURSE I DO HAVE YOU SEEN YOURSELF IN A FUCKING MIRROR????????

“very cute”

Bin internally: FUCK

Bin externally,

“you’re so beautiful”

OHMYOGD

“i-wha-“

Dongmin pull urself together goddamn

“do you really?”

Bin, almost in tears at how CUTE Angel Smile Neighbor Dongmin looks while he’s looking up through his eyelashes at Bin with this adorable confused look,

“how could i not? you’re like an angel”

BIN OH MY GOD

Dongmin?? can’t fucking breathe

coughs so Bin is Still sitting on Dongmin’s lap btw so Dongmin WITH SOME RANDOM SWEEP OF CONFIDENCE

leans up and kisses Bin ???

Bin kisses back Obviously

…

…

y’all

STOP MAKING OUT DAMN!!!! DON’T U BOTH NEED TO BREATHE ????

28273 years like, a minute and a half later they pull away panting because they’re Disgusting

Bin: “so… should we like.. go on a date?? or something???”

Dongmin: YES OF COURSE “oh sure sounds nice”

these shits acting like they didn’t just make out for 1.5 minutes 14 years

so anyway idk how to end this but because Myungjun Paid for Bin’s time but neither of them really want to like…. do the Thing they end up just talking for the extra half an hour they have and it’s really nice because they actually have !!!!! a lot in common!!

Dongmin, the second he leaves Bin:

WHAT A FUCKING TIME TO BE ALIVE FOLKS

bonus ;))))) -

they go on a few dates and Bin asks Dongmin to be his bf and Dongmin is like !!!!! yes of course!!!! and they kiss it’s Pure

then like a year later Dongmin asks Bin to move in with him and Of Course Bin accepts and it takes like 2 days to move bin’s stuff across the fucking hall bc he has So Fucking Much Stuff

and obviously they share a bed

Bin, hanging his bi pride flag next to Dongmin’s pan pride flag: “hey babe which way do these look Most aesthetically pleasing together”

and Then okay y’all THEN it’s like 3 years since they first started dating

Bin asks Dongmin out on a date ad Dongmin gets all excited bc they’ve both been really busy that they haven’t been able to have a Proper Fancy Dinner Date in like 3 weeks so he gets all dressed up

in This

and so even though they live together they meet at the restaurant ???

but ye anyway Bin shows up in This

the best couples wear couple suits

and they hug and kiss a lil coughs and go to the hostess and Bin gives his name nd she sees their reservation n take them to their table

they have some Fancy Wine bc they are Fancy Boys

and it’s while Dongmin is in the MIDDLE of taking a bite of his chocolate cake that Bin stands up

Dongmin, mouth full of cake: ????????

Bin: gets down on one knee

Dongmin, low-key choking on cake: !!??!?!???!??!?!????!!!!!!!

Bin: pulls a ring box out of his pocket

Dongmin: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bin, already tearing up :”””) : “we met in a really unconventional way, and a slot of people said we weren’t going to make it a month, even less so 3 years, and for that i want to thank you for putting up with me for this. long. you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and i am so so happy i finally asked you out, and that you asked me to move in with you, and that we are here, now, together and happy and in love.. you are truly the most beautiful person i have ever met, both inside and out, so… Lee Dongmin, my angel, my love, will you marry me?”

Dongmin, crying loudly: ohmygod of course Bin, of course i’ll marry you”

Bin carefully slips the ring onto dongmin’s finger, both pairs of hands shaking as Dongmin pulls Bin up and hugs him hard enough for Bin to lose his ability to breathe

everyone else in the restaurant: CHEERING ND CLAPPING FOR THE HAPPY SOAP COUPLE!!!!!

send me more writing requests kiddos

[beauvoyr]

Lazy People’s Club for the Sleepy and Tired | 7

blooming | into the light

Pairings: Noctis/Reader Genre: Friendship/Romance/Friends-to-Lovers Tags: Fluff, Humor, Eventual Romance, Slow Burn, and an inappropriate amount of references to video games and classical music and literature titles, no beta we die like men ;;v;; pre-canon a.k.a before FFXV Chapter Rating: T Crossposted on: AO3 Summary: Rules to join the Lazy People’s Club for the Sleepy and Tired: 1) One must love sleep. Sleep is love. Sleep is life. 2) One must be tired. Physically or emotionally, both are acceptable. 3) One must love video games. Halfhearted interest in video games will result in immediate termination of membership.

Fortunately, Noctis falls into all three categories.

CHAPTER SUMMARY: in which noctis takes a nap with his new friend

SOME WOULD CALL IT A childish fight. A hug, a peck on the cheek, and all that’s left is for you to make up with him. Yet, the thought crossing your head isn’t one of apology, not that you had anything to apologise for. Byron’s transgression is expected for one such as him, and you were long beleaguered by his critical dissection of your decaying life.

“You don’t even know how to love to begin with.”

You repeated his choice of words, knowing they were uncalled for.

The very same words Byron uttered, a callous weight to the sentence. Somehow, it sounded stupid for some reasons. Logically thinking about it, all human beings are capable of loving, wanting to love, and yearning to be loved in return. And love takes form not only as eros, the romanticism portrayed in novels of passionate rapture; ludus spoke of the playful love between two persons, agape represents the universal and unconditional love, and philia—the mutual friendship, the bond you now share between the prince and his excitable companion.

They, too, are forms of love.

And you are capable of loving them just as much as you loved everyone else.

Just thinking about your butler’s cryptic words hurt your head. Your half-eaten lunch of ham-and-egg sandwiches lay in a plate on your table, but you’ve long lost the appetite for it. Not when your head’s all wrapped up in thoughts of Byron, Byron and his dismissive nature, Byron and his stupid long ponytail, Byron and the icy glaciers in his murky eyes. Byron who tucks you in your bed once upon a time, Byron who coddles you with books and ribbons and food, Byron who takes you by your chin and whispers into your ear that you’re not made for this, you’re not made for loving, you’re not meant to be loved—

you were not born out of love

—ah.

Father is in your head again.

You bury your face in your arms, slumped over your work table in a helpless heap. Father and salt-and-pepper for his beard, a balding head, crow’s feet crinkling his eyes in that expression of perpetual disappointment. When he holds you with rubbery hands, you know a severe lashing is in order. What does he care anyway? He’s never hid the fact that he wedded mother—sweet Mnemosyne Ignatius born into a family of commoners—not out of love, but out of sheer profit. Her indomitable intelligence captures his attention, and being the strategist he is, seeks to claim her like a piece of land for Lucis.

If he could engineer genetics to provide the best of both parental genes, then you supposed you were the test tube baby. Science breeds love. And you were a product of it.

In fact, you would’ve been a genetically superior species if not for a slight defect; you are a daughter, and not a son. What is seen as the pride of the Andronicus is lamented as a tragedy spanning generations and generations of males, all bones and skeletons chanting your name as a curse from their graves.  

Disgusting daughter of the Andronicus doesn’t need to go out for school, they say, so keep her in the house and give her home tutors.

What could you do? What could you do to outshine others when you’re already shadowed from the start?

Trying to win father’s approval, your tiny hands constructed a manor out of building blocks.

The base would be your education, first and foremost, whilst its pinnacle will be your induction into the Lucian council. Touted as a bright child whose intellect surpasses those your age, your primary education flew by in just several years. Then comes your secondary education at ten, swallowing algorithms and equations and history and Crystal knowledge and regurgitating them with your fingers down your throat within three years. Fourteen and dying, tertiary education waits for no one but those who persevere; thick textbooks are your bedtime stories and writing discursions is your forced hobby. Academic journals are your daily reports and publications bearing the penname T. Andronicus is a common quote from one scholar to another.

With this, you had hoped, at the very least, father’s impression would improve. ‘Look, father, look—I’ve graduated at nineteen with a doctorate!’ you’d rehearse in front of the mirror, and father would finally regard you with light in his eyes and an approving hum of ‘yes, child, I see it now; you’re definitely an Andronicus, worthy enough to carry on the family name.’

But no.

Disallowed from attending your own graduation at the prestigious Lucis University, confined to the living room with only Byron and the chancellor of Lucis U attending, the ceremony is a disquieting funeral progression in all blacks. No commemorative pictures, no bouquets of flowers, no twirling of doctoral gown, and certainly no tossing of tudor bonnet. Not when father’s a lingering presence around the corners, watching.

In the end, what did nineteen​ years of your life amount to?

Nothing.

Nothing but a rolled up piece of paper.

With a weary sigh, you drag your unwilling body from the table, approaching your trusty cupboard of escape. All the emergency supplies are neatly folded within, clean white linens and scent of sunshine on the sheets. Wrenching the contents out on the floor, you make your way to your favourite spot by the glass windows, where the sunlight falls just right and the warmth seeping through the glass panes feels just nice. An afternoon nap is in order, and you’re not going to take no for an answer.

A customary action you’ve already perfected, you lay out the sheets, layered it up with comforters, decked the corners in pillows and bolsters, and leapt onto your private heaven. Always in an oversized shirt too big and pants too baggy, you shimmy down your blanket and bury your face in the reprieve, even if outside, Insomnia is a constant force in the world.

You don't have to care.

You don't have to care at all, for it is a world out of your grasp.

Scrubbing away all remnants of Byron and father and papers and pens, you turn to your side and grabbed a pillow, encasing it in a bear hug. Sleep will come, sooner or later, even if it rides a late train.

That is, until, you hear the doorknob turning.

“—and the teacher said it too!”

from the other side of the door, mama laughs. you couldn’t see her past this wood, but you could just image the way her face lights up with mirth, her luscious curls bouncing, her shoulders shaking. somehow, the thought makes you smile too. even if you’re separated by this door, nothing separates the bond between a mother and a daughter. what was it called again, in that blue-and-red book byron got for you? oh—right, storge. a bond built upon empathy, familiarity, and the natural love between parent and child.

if this is truly love, then you’d never want to let it go.

when mama’s laughter dies down and she speaks up again, it is all breathy with a trace of melancholy. “byron,” she says, and the albino standing by straightens up at the mention of his name. “thank you, thank you always for risking your life to bring us together. i can’t repay you enough. if—if quintus knew of this, then you’d surely—”

the steady footfalls of byron approaching your location echoes in the parlour, and he too kneels by your side, pressing a gloved hand on the door. it’s as though he could feel mama, just like you. “not at all, lady mnemosyne. taking care of her is my job. and,” he pauses, eyeing you from the corner of his eye with a smirk, “even if taking care of kids isn’t my specialty, the astrals are helping out loads. six knows how rowdy she can get when she’s bored.”

in an instant, your face shoots up in flames. “whuh—hey! that’s soooo not true!”

he laughs. and mama laughs too.

but mama’s laughter is strained, breaking at the edges.

WHAT GREETS HIM WHEN HE steps in is the usual plateau of Insomnia’s generous panorama of skyscrapers—and the sight of you, all cuddled up on your makeshift island of blankets and pillows by the sunshine. This time around, you noticed his presence straight away, for you sat up on your bedding and gave him the haziest of looks, one with half-lidded eyes, mussed up hair, and a drooping neckline teetering on the edge of your shoulder, revealing the sharp cut of your collarbones.

In other words, Noctis realises as he shuts the door behind him, you are a mess.

By all means, it’s not unexpected, he supposes. Last week ended on a sour note with your butler being a jerk not only to you, but to him and Prompto as well. The albino scoffs at the idea of ‘friendship’ and probably thinks it’s like a kid’s show, one with loads of rainbows and glitters raining from the sky in all its neon glory. Friendship is magic or whatever it is that Kenny Crow squawked in an ad by the subway. In a ritual increasingly habitual to him, he slips off his loafers and socks, drops his satchel behind the door, and plods over to you.

“Hey, you look like shit,” he says—and he can mentally imagine his etiquette tutor screaming at him at the back of his head because he did not just address a female nobility like that and oh Six where have I gone wrong? as she wrings her hands tragically. Still, his casual greeting cracks the sleepy stupor you’re in, and your lips curve into a small smile. It’s nowhere a big one, but it’s a start.

A hand rubbing your eye, legs splayed by your sides, you yawn. “Compared to you, yeah I look awful. What’s with all the getup? Some fancy royal stuff you had to attend, Prince?”

Oh—right. It had been the norm to show up in shirt, cargos and boots to your room, so you obviously haven’t seen him in a black dress shirt, fitted pants, and matching tie. Cufflinks and tie pin too, if he were to count that in. Being subjected under your intense scrutiny puts him in an awkward spot, so he looks away and busies himself with unfastening his diamond cufflinks, drawing his sleeves up to his lean forearms.

“Yeah, last paper for finals today,” Noctis grouses, rubbing his nape. “Lucis U and their formal dress code, seriously.”

That makes you laugh, a small sound in a room too big. And that, that’s definitely a good start for him.

“I feel you,” you agree in an almost placating manner, pulling a pillow to your chest as you rest your cheek against it. “They made me wear formal stuff for finals, even when I was taking it in my own house. Sheesh, talk about upholding the proud Lucis U custom.”

Leaning backwards and holding his upper body weight with an arm, Noctis regards you under curious eyes. “You’re a graduate of Lucis U too?”

“Yeeeep, that’s the one. Just don’t call me a senior or alumni or whatever,” you brush it off, shaking your head. The subject is dropped just as easily as a new one is introduced, something you’re skirting around again. “Anyway Prince, now that it’s the end of the semester for you, what’re you gonna do? Got some exciting plans all laid out?”

Well, that’s a first. He’s hardly heard you talking like this, all laidback and bare to the world—to him. Mentally filing away the random trivia in his head, Noctis studies the lazy hints of a smile on your lips before shrugging. “Nope. It’s December and I’ve got absolutely nothing to do.” He pauses for a while. “Well—except Justice Monsters is gonna come out with a new game soon, but you know how they’re always teasing us with the release.”

At the news, your eyes are round, blinking at him owlishly. Half of your face buried in your pillow, your voice comes out muffled. Almost reminiscent of a preying cat waiting for the perfect moment to ambush his legs, Noctis thinks to himself as you speak up. “Justice Monster series? You mean the arcade ones, right?”

“Yep, that’s the one,” he repeats your words right back at you, and he doesn’t miss how you wrinkle your nose at him in mock exasperation. “Their last game was what—four years ago? Prom said they’re revamping their whole system to make it new, but I don’t know if that’s the case. Kinda liked the old battle system, to be honest. Can’t add much to a pinball game anyway.”

For a moment, there is a lull in the conversation.

You’re all quiet, contemplative, eyes trailing down from his nose and resting on his knee, and all Noctis thinks is that he’s messed up somewhere. But it’s a video game and you’re a diehard fan of games, right? So what’s with the awkward silence?

“I’ve never played Justice Monsters before,” you say, a slow and thoughtful drawl of your words. Almost too loud in the deafening silence of this room. “Since they’re all arcade stuffs.”

That’s not a problem because Noctis supposes Justice Monsters series isn’t for everyone and the gaming machines are all located in rowdy arcades, teeming with high schoolers raring to outdo each other in high scores—oh.

Arcade.

He almost wants to drag a hand through his face at his momentary lapse in judgment. “My bad.”

“Nah, no harm done,” you reply, and there it is again, the fledgling of a smile on your face. “I just know most of the console stuffs since I can play it from home, and that’s easy enough. Any chance of Justice Monsters being ported to console or mobile? Maybe I can get a chance to play it someday.”

All he can do is to shrug, scratching his cheek. “Don’t hold your breath on it. If it took them this long to release a game, it’ll probably take them decades to port it over.”

You make a noncommittal sound at his answer and flop backwards, snuggling in your nest of pillows and blankets, sprawling all over the white sheets. The drowsy haze is back at it again, gradually consuming your limbs, starting from the languid curl of your legs to the indolent circling of your arms around a pillow. Rays of sunlight fall on your features in fragments, the warmth from the sun a stark contrast against the biting chill of your room. Sleepy, lazy child of the Andronicus, all nestled up in your kingdom of pillows and fort of sheets. Always tired, always sleeping.

Finding neither the need to break the silence nor the want for a new conversation, Noctis hooks a finger in his necktie and loosens the loop strangling his neck. He throws the silk piece aside and sets to work on rearranging your feathery mountain of pillows, making some space for him. If anything, you don’t seem to mind it at all. Your encouragement is to pat the space right beside you, already relinquishing the hold of several pillows to be gifted to his territory. By the time he’s done, he’s already lying on his back, taking in the arabesque detailing on the plaster ceiling, half of your pillows by his side.

It’s a quiet affair, lounging about like this.

You’re not talking, he’s not talking, and that’s fine. Conversational silence is an art many failed. Cold silence is offset by the warm brushes of sunlight on his skin, all over his body. The fuzzy hum of the central air conditioning, your even breathing, and just pillows. Very fine pillows, he thinks, as he shifts about to get the perfect position on this little island.

Undisturbed by his presence, you continue to stare into space, lost in your thoughts. A blank look he’s seen for weeks now, eyes trained on the ceiling, broken by the slow flutter of your eyelashes every now and then. Almost like a default expression of yours but you made a favourable impression so far, starting from the smaller smiles and even smaller laughter. He’s not expecting full-out chortles like Gladio or one of Prompto’s indignant cries, but you’re getting there—slowly.

Maybe by the time he’s King of Lucis, you’d wield an array of expressions like King Regis’ Armiger, ready to laugh, ready to smile, ready to shout your way to the top as his strategist.

And he thinks Prompto will like that very much.

Gazing at the parading clouds in the sky, cotton white on baby blue with just the barest hints of crystal pink from the magic barrier, you finally breathe out a sigh. “Hey, Prince? You wanna sleep together?”

He blinks.

Distracted by the hushed tranquillity of your room, Noctis almost misses your question. Craning his head to get a better look at your face, his eyebrows furrow in automatic. “Uh—what?”

Did he mishear that?

“I said, you wanna sleep together?” you repeat a tad bit firmer this time, rolling sideways to look at him. “I’ve got extra blankets and pillows back there. You look like you could use some extra hours ‘cause your dark eye circles are starting to scare me.”

Geez, that’s what you meant. You almost gave him a premature death. With how your face is clean from any suggestive traces of—whatever it is, all that you’re offering him is an invitation to sleep. Nap. Pillows and blankets provided. Absolutely free of charge. All of that, and something else. Friendship. Unspoken in the air.

“I blame it on the finals. Too much Ebony and too little sleep,” Noctis grumbles, pressing a hand to his hair as the beginnings of a yawn threaten to ruin his denial. “But nah, I’ll pass—“

Aaaaand you’re already up and about without even caring about what he has to say, walking towards the cupboard in a few resolute steps, wresting the doors open. Emptying the entire content of two comforters and three pillows stacked on your tiny arms, you cross the entire length of the floor with the same hurriedness as before. In dogged determination, you fuss about with donating his landscape of pillows with even more pillows and almost buried him under two comforters before you’re finally satisfied with the arrangement.

Dusting off your hands, you return to your half of the land and slip under your blankets once more, pulling them up to your chin. “Good night, Prince. See you later.”

He isn’t even given a say in the matter? “Hey, wait—“

Turning away from him, you pull your blankets over your head and all is lost to the world.

sunday. sundays are best spent with family, a quality time shared between parent and child. to you, no day matters more than the days you spent with mama, reverential over the piano keys she pressed, keeping every single musical masterpiece locked tight in your mind. today, a sunday, is just as good as any other day as byron places your hand in his, guiding you to the parlour by the piano room. he must’ve felt your excitement since you bounce on your feet and eagerly sat by the adjoining door the moment you entered.

two quick knocks and a word. “mama—“

only, her shrill scream answers your call.

THAT FEELING WHEN HE’S HIT with one of Prompto’s misfired stopcast in one of their training rounds? Yeah, that’s exactly what he feels like, now that he’s up. Or barely up anyway. Crimson stains the rumpled sheets, telling him of a sunset bleeding past the skyscrapers and blending into the distant horizon. A persistent hammer is hitting the back of his brain and his throat is all scratchy, bordering on a gaiatoad’s croak. Another nap sounds like a brilliant idea, but two things are nagging him right now; one: his shoulder aches like Gladio took him camping, and two: someone’s phone is in his face.

Forcing the sleep away, Noctis rubs his eyes and attempts to straighten his vision.

Phone. Hands holding said phone. A distinctly feminine face and complementing effeminate features attached to said hands. Sloppy shirt and a drooping neckline and all clean cuts of collarbone with a blanket hiding the rest of the body beside him. Shoulders rising and falling in steady breathing, wordless.

What in the Six is this.

Is this a newer version of a wet dream? With girls showing up in his bed, holding up a phone to his face? That’s impossible. His toes are freezing and his fingernails are bluish bordering on purple and this really doesn’t feel like any of those hormonal teenage fantasy phase he outgrew—even if it’s too realistic to begin with.

“Hey Prince, you’re up.”

Where has he heard that voice before?

Eyes peer curiously from behind the phone.

“Prince? You up yet?”

And quite suddenly, everything jolts back into his head like someone’s hit rewind on a tape; the stiff pain in his shoulder is because he’s an idiot for rolling in his sleep and ended up lying on his side, he drove his Audi to the Citadel to make a long overdue visit to your room, the finals seized him by his throat while it had Prompto in a chokehold on the wall, Ignis made oatmeal and berries for today’s breakfast, and—

“Slow start, huh?”

—right.

Finally, everything makes sense.

“Yeah,” Noctis finally finds his voice, even if it is raspy like he spent a night at a karaoke box with the gang—minus a brooding, dismissive Ignis who’d rather be found in a bookstore. “I feel like a zombie.”

Now you’re looking at him, all sympathetic even as you’re tapping on your phone. “That’s awful. Those late-nighters finally caught up to you, huh. Want some aspirins?”

As groggy as he is, he has half the mind to refuse your offer. “Pass. I’ll be okay.”

“If you say so.”

A distracted reply.

And a distracted reply from you only meant one thing: King’s Knight.

He’s not wrong when he sees your fingers working on overdrive over the screen, chewing on your bottom lip in pure concentration. Entirely absorbed in the game, teeth grinding, brows stitched together, it almost looks like you would break your phone if you missed out on a combo or two. He knows he can count on you to wake up only to play King’s Knight and tune out everything else on Eos if it meant clearing a raid with a perfect score. But at this point, he’s torn between deciding whether your obsession with the game borders on downright lunacy, or you’re going to drag him deeper by his feet into this hell as well.

The dramatic moment ends with much harrumph on your side and you lifelessly throw yourself on your back again, phone aside. Blue eyes stray from the way your brows are pinched together and your teeth littering your bottom lip with bites, to the sprawl of your arm and down your phone, where DEFEAT drops over the screen in gruesome reds and blacks.

Ah. Right.

Losing a raid is always frustrating, that’s for sure.  

“That sucks.” This time around, he’s the one who’s sympathetic. “What raid was it?”

“Against one of the Einherjars.” You mourn, rolling over to your side. Face half-obscured by your hair, falling over your cheeks, Noctis isn’t sure what to make of your expression. Is it one of resentment? Or simply one of lament? Turning on his side, Noctis squints to get a good look as you continue your spiel of grief. “You know these Einherjars, right? You gotta fight them to recruit them?” At his nod, you continue—not before sighing deeply like it’s a long-suffering disease. “There’s a secret dungeon in Yeiva Village where you can fight the Einherjar Callisto. And he pretty much trashed me good. Real good. I got wiped in 1.5 minutes flat.”

“Probably because Kaliva’s cooldown on his shield takes fifteen seconds,” Noctis offers his conjecture, in which you meet with rapid agreement. “Sure, Kaliva’s got high resistance towards magic but he’s a glass cannon at physical defence. He can’t take those big attacks if the boss comes at him.”

“That’s so true, Prince,” you mutter under your breath, rolling your eyes. Your free hand reaches out to tuck the offending locks of hair behind your ear, and you all but pulled your blanket over your shoulder again, smothered in a cocoon. “Necromancer Kaliva’s got better RES than most, but his DEF is still tiny compared to Warrior Ray Jack. Ugh. This feels so hopeless. I can’t get that Einherjar at this rate.”

Noctis bites back a small laugh.

Because—seriously, are you actually sulking over this?

Fumbling under the covers, he reaches for his phone and draws it out of the pocket. Within two clicks of unlocking and logging into King’s Knight, he settles his eyes on you again, fighting the grin that’s starting to grow on his lips.

“Hey, c’mon. Let’s try again. I’ll tank it for you.”

[tbc.]

if someone says they’re gonna tank a boss for you, those are words of pure love right there. ;;v;; <3 honestly this chapter is such a warm fluff when i wrote it (im around chapter 17 rn where sweet fluff happens again) and writing fluff makes everyone happy <3 except. when plot comes into play. that’s when tragedy happens. ;;v;;

out of curiosity, how tall are you readers? ouo ) if you readers don’t mind sharing? or what sort of height would you readers prefer? or would you readers prefer if there is no mention on height at all? i was writing a chapter and encountered some difficulty as i couldn’t imagine the average height of the readers of this fic in comparison to noct (involving some brushing-touching-feely stuff), so i’m trying to establish some average height to get it going. <3 please and thank you, if you don’t mind!

PREVIEW: “Never seen you standing around out here before,” Noctis says, and only then he manages to draw your attention to him. “Morning. Got your groceries delivered again?”

[thumper-darling]

Yo those Q's are cute will u do me a solid and do all of them?

1. what colors are in your room?

Dark orange, cream, and gold

2. who was your favorite school teacher?

Basically every English teacher I’ve ever had. 

3. what are some passions of yours?

Writing, reading, watching films, eating sushi, and being around the people that I love 

4. when you drink coffee, do you like it black or with cream and sugar?

already answered in a separate post

5. are you self-conscious about anything? if so, what?

e v e r y t h i n g 

6. do you have any tips for self-love?

already answered in a separate post

7. do you have any stuffed animals? Do you name them?

I have a stuffed rabbit and a stuffed fox. The rabbit is named Alice and the fox is named Cadence.

8. do you like drawing or painting more?

doodling is where it’s at 

9. how do you sleep?

not well

10. what are some things that always make you smile?

already answered in a previous post

11. living in the city, mountains, small town, or out in the middle of nowhere?

city living is where it’s at 

12. what's your dream house?

A really cozy apartment or a loft? that’d be fun. Or a colonial fashion house with a yellow exterior and cobblestone accents. 

13. how many pets do you wish to have?

3. I have my dog now, but I also want a german shepherd and a calico cat. 

14. have you ever dyed your hair? do you want to? what color?

lol yeah, I’ve had almost every damn shade of red and then got too tired of doing that so now it’s just dark brown. I wouldn’t mind dying it some sort of turquoise or emerald green? That’d be fun 

15. what's your opinion on keeping a diary?

It’s great for looking back on the good times 

16. what's your opinion on keeping an art journal?

HONESTLY they’re beautiful and I encourage everyone to try to have some form of creative outlets

17. any art tips?

You are asking the w r o n g person my dude

18. talk about a moment where time stopped

time is an illusion anyways so why does it matter?

19. do you keep playlists for your music?

HECK YES I’m honestly a whore for sectioning songs off into playlists

20. is there anyone out there that you trust with your life?

Idk, my sister?

21. are you your number one priority?

N O 

22. do you always type correctly or do you make millions of typos?

Not usually unless it’s my annoying sister or somebody that is bothering me 

23. recommend some music!!

Daft Punk Boys by Bad Suns

Growing Up by Phil Good

Helena Beat by Foster The People 

24. are your nails perfectly painted, chipped, or plain?

P L A I N 

25. do you believe in wishing on a shooting star?

For sure, but I’m not sure it actually does any good 

26. did you see the eclipse? describe it!!

no :’) 

27. tell us what you love about nature

It’s spontaneity and damn are trees pretty

28. who are you? describe yourself!

My name is Becca, I’m 17, a hufflepuff & a scorpio. I’m allergic to seafood, and bunnies, but I love both soooo. My favorite childhood movie is All Dogs Go To Heaven and my favorite Superhero is Spider-dude. 

29. what type of music do you like, and why?

Alternative/ Indie pop 

30. what's your favorite clothing store? why do you love it so much?

Charlotte Russe because it has high quality clothes in my sizes 

31. thrift stores or name brand stores?

Both? 

32. do you like wearing your s.o clothes?

BITCH WHAT SIGNIFICANT OTHER :’) 

   yes

33. when did you start tumblr? why did you decide to?

because I wanted to get to the source of da memes 

34. what's your face care routine?

try not to cry when I look in the mirror :’) , and if I do cry I use my tears as a moisturizer 

35. freckles or dimples?

F R E C K L E S 

36. name something you think should be banned from the universe

Tronald J. Dump 

37. tell us something you did as a kid that you loved

I loved to catch frogs and I read a lot of books homie 

38. mom or dad?

mom 

39. do you buy expensive things just for the aesthetic or do you actually use everything you buy?

I literally don’t use any of the things I buy except for clothes damn I have a problem 

40. tell us about something you're strongly opinionated about

I already answered this in a previous post

41. do you take peoples advice or do you have to figure things out yourself?

I ask for advice from multiple people, and then I sort of find a part of all the advice that has common ground and try to apply it to my situation 

42. bra or no bra?

no bra 

43. would you rather be cute or comfy?

HONESTLY COMFY IS CUTE SO HECK OFF 

44. tell us about a moment in your life where everything went just perfect

I don’t remember 

45. do you believe in anything? aliens? god? bigfoot?

I’m a Sasquatch bitch. Also, aliens are out there soooo 

46. how much water do you drink a day?

Not enough @doctormelapples

47. how do you feel about your natural hair?

I miss it. I used to have some curls in my hair, but I dyed it so much that the texture of my hair changed a bit. 

48. what does the sky look like right now? clear? cloudy? pink? blue? rainy?

It’s a very light blue with some spaced out cloud placement 

49. would you be a prince or a king? princess or a queen?

None of the above, that’s too much pressure 

50. tell us about your favorite outfit!

Off the shoulder gray knit sweater with black ripped jeans

51. name a few things you love about yourself

My eyes, my freckles, my humor, my creativity, and my determination 

52. are you open-minded?

Yeah my dude 

53. do you judge? could someone come to you in any situation they're in and you not judge them?

I really try not to be a judgmental person, but everyone has flaws and it’s definitely one of those things that I’m working on. 

54. do you like planning ahead?

I HAVE TO 

55. tell us how you feel about school

stop

56. talk about your first pet

A small orange cat named Angel. She was satan i swear to god 

57. chocolate or strawberry milk?

chocolate 

58. were you/are you in a fandom? if so, what?

A GOOD AMOUNT 

59. spotify, pandora, or itunes?

I’m a spotify kinda bitch 

60. favorite disney princess movie?

The Princess and The Frog 

61. favorite disney movie

Bolt 

62. what's a subject that you think people don't talk about enough?

English 

63. how long does it take you to let your phone update?

Idk, 20 minutes? 

64. describe the fifth picture on your phone!

A blurry tree with string lights hanging from the branches. Taken at 2:04 am, August 16th, 2017 

65. favorite movie and why?

I hate this question because I am a film enthusiast and honestly I love too many movies for such different reasons 

66. do you watch studio ghibli? what's the first one you saw? what's your favorite one?

Not really, I just never got into studio ghibli movies 

67. you're home alone. describe how the setting is. music? what kind of music? tv on? what show?

Music: loud

TV: on

Movies: playing

bra: off

Food: eaten 

68. how often do you say "i love you"?

Too much and not enough 

69. do you have any weird things you obsess over?

p e n c i l s 

70. do you like being single or do you wish you had a partner?

depends on the day idk

71. what's the last drink you had?

a caramel macchiato 

72. talk about the easiest person to talk to

she’s a real ass bitch and all around classy gal 

73. give us some of your favorite blogs!

@doctormelapples, @parkersenses

74. if you could have one wish, what would it be?

Wish for free college and a successful future thx

75. do you sing in the shower?

It’s best for everyone if they never know 

76. how often do you shave? or do you wax? or do you not shave?

I shave according to my outfit choice 

77. tell us about a habit you wish you could stop

I wish I could stop tapping on everything 

78. do you listen to your own advice?

No, I’m not a stable person thx 4 asking 

79. do you love yourself? if not, are you trying to?

It’s a work in progress

80. tell us about your favorite halloween!! what did you dress up as? did you get a lot of candy?

When I was younger I used to have these poppin halloween parties and one year I had a haunted house and dressed up as a haunted doll it was fun tis all 

Also, I was late to my own party 

81. first memory that pops in your head, talk about it.

First day of school in my junior year. I was late and have been late every first day since then.

82. how are you? what are you feeling? how has your week gone?

I think things are going well 

83. rant.

It’s almost impossible for me to rant? So thank you, but no thank you 

84. do you worry about something a lot? if so, what?

Already answered in a previous post 

85. do you think long distance works?

I’m sure it works for the right people 

86. would you date someone younger than you? older than you?

Yeah, I don’t really mind dating a bit out of my age range as long as our mentality matches?

87. name some people you'd love to meet

Tom Holland thx 

88. what were some things you were scared of as a kid?

My older sister’s scream mask and knives 

89. tell us about your favorite birthday

My friends surprised me with a birthday cake and a bunch of presents during my school lunch and the cafeteria sang to me?? I had v good friends. 

90. how is high school?

It was definitely a journey 

91. tell us the worst pick-up line you've ever heard

None of them because I have never had a pick-up line used on me. ehhhhh 

92. every been groped or catcalled? how'd it make you feel? what did you do?

People can be disgusting and they don’t understand that your body isn’t there just for them to touch, so fuck that person who thought it was 

93. opinion of feminism?

F E M I N I S M IS THE F U T U R E 

94. tell us about a time you got embarrassed

Today in class when I was late :’) 

95. ever had a pregnancy scare? tell us about it!

jinkies 

96. tell us about your best friend

All she talks about water but it’s okay because she’s pure and beautiful

97. what's your opinion on planning your life out?

I mean, it’s nice and extremely helpful to have a timeline or a potential outline for how you want your life to turn out. But don’t expect everything to go according to plan?? Like, just leave a bit of wiggle room in your future for unexpected adventures. :) 

98. describe what you think afterlife is like

energy cannot be created nor destroyed 

99. talking on the phone or texting?

Talking on the phone because I’m lame as heck over text 

100. how do you feel about the way most teachers treat students?

alReADy ANswerEd in a PREviOus PosT 

101. what's a word you use more than others?

H E C K

heck

heckin

hecking 

[gracelessknights]

NONE OF THESE QUOTES ARE RELATED

“Oh, Garrett, let’s not talk about the time we ‘got to know’ one another. I know forty-five seconds was probably an all-time high for you, but trust me; most girls would prefer at least a minute,”

“I’m gonna be sick,” I say. “I’m ordering you not to,” says Obi. “Ah, don’t say that,” says Dee-Dum. “She’s a born rebel. She’ll puke just to make a point.”

“Maybe he just has a type,” I challenge. “The only type Carrick has is pretty with a vagina that’s open for business.”

The promise of a cheap beer and a joint win out over chivalry.

“When I was in town earlier, I went to that store that sells English food, and you’ll never guess what they had.” Her face is all lit up. “Alcohol?” That’s just my wishful thinking that she bought me some.

Lisa trails after me, oblivious to my sarcasm and still gushing about Graham. “He’s so gorgeous. Like unbelievably gorgeous.” Her voice lowers to a whisper. “And I hear he’s amazing in bed.” I snort. “He probably started that rumor himself.”

“We don’t need alcohol to have fun, Reagan.” “You sound like an after-school special.”

“You look damn good in a Sentinel uniform.” A hot flush that had nothing to do with embarrassment spread over me. “So do you.” “I know.” I laughed outright. “Wow. Healthy ego there.”

“Stop being a bitch,” Magda spoke up, contributing her first words for the day. “What? You got a patent on it or something?” Zoe returned

Him: How bout tmrw night? I’m free at eight. Me: Can’t. I have the Spanish Flu. Highly contagious. I just saved your life, dude. Him: Aw, I appreciate the concern. But I’m immune to pandemics that wiped out 40-mil ppl from 1918 to 1919. Me: How is it u know so much about pandemics? Him: I’m a history major, baby. I know tons of useless facts.

Shaking my head, I laugh. “God, you’re so—” “Good-looking? Hot?“ “I was going to say cocky.” “Endearing, isn’t it?”

“Just out of curiosity,” she says, “after you wake up in the morning, do you admire yourself in the mirror for one hour or two?” “Two,” I reply cheerfully. “Do you high five yourself?” “Of course not.” I smirk. “I kiss each of my biceps and then point to the ceiling and thank the big man upstairs for creating such a perfect male specimen.”

So he’s a mutt,” he said. “No,” I said, looking at the shaggy bundle still baring his teeth in Jude’s direction. “He’s well-rounded,” I added.

I fingered the lid of my coffee cup. “He introduced me to that Blaze reastaurant on Thayer. It was really good.” “I think it was the company more than anything,” Jared said, his eyes softening.

I explained his mistake and started writing it down in my own girlie script. “Do you see how I got there?” Ryan nodded, unsure. “I see how you got there, getting there on my own is the persistent problem.”

“You’re not old enough to drink,” he grimaced, ignoring my accusation. I leaned closer to him. “We don’t tell the bartender that,” I whispered.

I just have a bad habit of lashing out at those I care about. It’s a piss-poor excuse, I know, but I am sorry,”

“You can’t make her drink that many shots,” Shepley said. “Travis. Tell him.” Brazil held up his hand. “I’m not making her do anything. For every shot she drinks, she gets a twenty. It’s our present to her.” His smile faded when he noticed Shepley’s frown. “Your present is alcohol poisoning?”

“I drink,” he said. “I also smoke. But that’s one thing they won’t let me do in here.” “Disgusting. I’m even less attracted to you than before.” “What are you smiling about?” “You just said you were attracted to me.” His self-satisfied smile was contagious. “Yeah, but that was before you spoke.”

“Intimate relations. Intercourse. Coitus. Doing the deed. Nookie. Fornicating. Laying pipe. Screwing. Sex. Tapping that ass. Fucking. Need I go on?”

“I don’t like country music.” “No one does. Just roll with it.”

Football is a religion around here, and he is the chosen messiah. Which sounds kind of sacrilegious considering the fact that he’s smacking a brunette on her ass as he leaves her at the classroom door.

"Nicknames are important. Feel free to pick one out for me. I can provide a list of suggestions. Big Guy. God. Master. Awesome Master.” “How about overweening ego?” I offer.

So if I did what my dad always wanted, I’d be married, with two kids, no education, wondering which strand of pearls I should choke myself with before my husband comes home smelling like his secretary.

I feigned disinterest, kicked out my legs and got more comfortable on Dad’s recliner. “Her name’s Lois, not Laney.” Mom smiled. “Well, I think I’m going to call her Laney. I like it better. It suits her.” I scoffed. “You can’t just go changing people’s names, Ma.” “Why not, Bobby Jo?” she sang. “Who the hell is Bobby Jo?” She laughed under her breath. “You are now.” I laughed with her. “I think I prefer Lucas.” “You still didn’t answer my question, Bobby Jo.”

"Garray already got to you, huh?” “I think he must be an acquired taste,” I mumbled.

She sighs. Then a slight smile breaks through. “I’m going to miss seeing your ugly face every day.” “Shut up. You love my face.” Her eyes roll. “Yeah, it’s like looking into the sun.” “So beautiful it hurts?” I ask, unable to contain my smirk. “Blindingly painful.”

“Next question?” “Why are you such an ass?” I laughed under my breath. “Everyone has to excel at something, right?” “Well, you’re doing a great job.”

Johnson pulls out some bills. “My treat this time, yeah?” “Excuse me while I take in this moment,” Rolondo says expansively, his arms open wide. “Johnson—punk ass, cheap motherfucker Johnson—is paying.”

Gray and Ivy’s wedding. Now that was a drunken blur. Good times.

“I was thinking—” “Uh-oh. This can’t be good.” “Smartass.” She grinned.

“Your team definitely has… potential.” “I don’t know if potential is the right word,” I tell her.

“Okay, but you’re going to have to snap the ball to me.” “Snap the ball?” I make a face. “Like bend over…” His grin is evil. “And I put my hands between your legs. Don’t give me that look. Dex does this for me every game.” “Is this the point where I launch into a diatribe about the blatant homoeroticism found in football?”

“Where have you been?” she asked. I arched a brow, fighting a laugh as the heat raced across her cheeks and down her throat. “Well hello, honey, I’ve been out boozing and whoring. I know my priorities are pretty off.”

“Sara, you know you’re the only girl for me.” He laid a hand over his heart. “I’m just passing time until you realize that.” Out of the corner of my eye I saw two girls at a nearby table watching his display with equal expressions of jealousy and dismay. “Yeah ok. Cool it Romeo,” I said, laughing. “Before you break every heart in here and start a lynch mob after me.”

“You’re such a dick sometimes.” I didn’t lift my head. “Don’t really think that’s breaking news.”

And I like sex. Love good sex, elusive as it is.

“Sex shouldn’t be work,” he insists. “It should be easy. Girls come to us, give us a good time, and we send them on their way with a nice thank you and maybe a pat on the ass if they’re extra special.” “I pity your bed partners.” “They have a good time,” Gray says. “A great time.” “Sure. You let them do all the work while you lay back like a lazy shit. Sounds awesome for them.” He gives me a sour look. “Well, you sound like a girl.” “If I was one, I wouldn’t be f**king you.”

“But Henry really wanted me to go, and you’ve been moping around the house lately.” “I have not been moping!” “Staring out the window,” she insists. “Like some tragic Jane Austen heroine.” “Austen’s heroines aren’t tragic. They are empowered.” “Says you. All those repressed feelings and prideful denials.” Her snub nose wrinkles. “Pathetic. Just own your emotions already.”

“Hey.” His smile grows. “I’ve been thinking about you, Jones.” “Don’t strain yourself.”

I kissed her cheek and stood. “Besides, you’re the best mom I’ve ever had.” “I bet you say that to all your moms.”

(In reference to the baby he’s carrying) He raised his cynical eyes to her and grunted. "If he gives any indication that he’s going to shit or vomit, I’m pointing him in your direction.” “And they say chivalry’s dead.”

“What happened?” asked Hermione, her tone inevitably concerned. “I barely touched you.” “Shoulder…dislocated,” he rasped out. “You let me slap you when you’re injured?” “I didn’t let you slap me,” he replied drolly. “Evidently, it’s just a habit you have regardless of whether we’re in a relationship or not. Charming, by the way.” “How did you dislocate your shoulder?” “Folk dancing.” “Draco.” “Fighting bloody Death Eaters. Obviously.”

Today I wore a pair of white jeans and a black sweater that made me feel as if I was seconds away from stripping off my clothes and finding the nearest pole. I glanced over my shoulder and Roth raised a brow as one side of his lips slipped up. “Can you walk in front of me?”

He chuckled deeply. “Not in this lifetime.”

On why he doesnt wanna be a gynaecologist  : “But if I’m going to have my hand inside a woman’s honeypot, I’d much rather it be for pleasure than for work.”

The music is soft in the background, but soulful and deep. I like it. “What’s this? A study playlist?” He shakes his head. “A playlist? Nah. It’s the Black Keys. I buy whole albums, not individual songs. I’m not afraid of commitment, babe.” I smirk at his strange innuendo. “Good to know.”

“What will they do once I take you off the market?” I ask. “I can only imagine the poor girls wandering around like a lost herd of sheep all summer, wondering where you went.” I risk another glance at the staring girls and shudder. “Do they even blink? Baa. Baa. Baa.”

“How long do I have to keep up the happy part? I’m getting a cramp.” “That’s the spirit.” He chuckles,

Matt helped her with her golf swing in the auditorium at lunch. Matt was the captain of the golf team, and Ariadne was thinking about joining, although first she had to learn how to play. “Cassie, why don’t you put that book down and come learn how to golf?” Ariadne called to her cousin. In response, Cassandra opened another book.

"Sound jealous, don’t you?” “Not likely,” I replied, turning my e-reader back on. “Uh-huh. Keep telling yourself that, sweetheart. One of these days you’re going to admit that you’re madly, deeply in love with me. It’s my boyish charm—hard to resist.” “If you’d gone with your body being irresistible, it would’ve been more believable.”

"You’re going to do fine,” he says, rubbing my arms. “Do not give me a half-time inspirational speech,” I order. The last thing I need is some rah-rah-rah about being my best.” “Sure. We can go to the bathroom and fuck away your nervousness.”

“In my head, this went a lot smoother,” I offer. “How so?” “Um, I guess I throw up my arms and say ‘surprise,’ and you say, ‘Goldie, you’re a sight for sore eyes,’ and then I respond with, ‘you, too.’ After we get those awkward, trite greetings out of the way, you haul me into your arms and give me a movie star kiss. We pretend it’s raining and that we’re at the end of a Nicholas Sparks movie and you swear your undying devotion.” “According to my mom, everyone dies at the end of a Sparks movie, so my devotion appears to be short-lived.” “True, but the promised love is undying, so even after your ticker gives out, the devotion lives on.”

“What rhymes with insensitive?” I tap my pen on the kitchen table, beyond frustrated with my current task. Who knew rhyming was so fucking difficult? Garrett, who’s dicing onions at the counter, glances over. “Sensitive,” he says helpfully. “Yes, G, I’ll be sure to rhyme insensitive with sensitive. Gold star for you.”

On the other side of the kitchen, Tucker finishes loading the dishwasher and turns to frown at me. “What the hell are you doing over there, anyway? You’ve been scribbling on that notepad for the past hour.” “I’m writing a love poem,” I answer without thinking. Then I slam my lips together, realizing what I’ve done. “I just have one question,” Garrett starts. “Really?” Tuck says. “Because I have many.” […] “Hey,” I say as inspiration strikes. “What if I steal the words to “Amazing Grace”? I can change it to…um…Terrific Grace.” “Yup,” Garrett cracks. “Pure gold right there. Terrific Grace.” I ponder the next line. “How sweet…” “Your ass,” Tucker supplies. Garrett snorts. “Brilliant minds at work. Terrific Grace, how sweet your ass.” He types on his phone again. “Jesus Christ, will you quit dictating this conversation to Hannah?” I grumble. “Bros before hos, dude.” “Call my girlfriend a ho one more time and you won’t have a bro.” […] (He texted her the love poem) Her: Don’t quit your day job, Emily Dickinson. Me: Hey, u didn’t say it had to be GOOD. Her: Touché. D- on the poem. Can’t wait to see your collage. Me: How do u feel about glitter? And dick pics? Her: If there’s a pic of your dick on that collage, I’m photocopying it and passing it around in the student center. Me: Bad idea. You’ll give all the other dudes an inferiority complex. Her: Or an ego boost.

All in all, Ellis seems like a decent man, and when the kids thunder out of the locker room and greet him like he’s Jesus Christ brought back to life, my opinion of him climbs higher.

“My mom has officially dubbed you a ‘good catch.’” Dani takes a seat next to me on the back steps of the small two-story house where I’ve lived all my life. I tap my glass of sangria against hers. “That’s solid. I’m going to put that on my Tinder profile.”

“Jesus, she’s hot!” Dani grabs my phone to pinch and zoom, first on Sabrina’s face and then the rest of her body. “Are you sure she’s not bi? Because it’s a crime that she has to suffer through life with a man.”

“I thought maybe you’d want to spend the weekend with me.” And he’s quick to offer that reassurance again, adding, “No expectations, by the way. I’m not inviting you to, like, a three-day fuck fest or anything.” I snort. My boyfriend, ever the wordsmith.

Hunter snaps, “It’s that we suck.” Hollis tips his head. “You got laid last night, didn’t ya?” The dark-haired freshman furrows his brow. “What does that have to do with anything?” “Everything. We embarrassed ourselves in that game, got our asses kicked, and you still had chicks lining up to suck on your knob. Doesn’t matter if we win or lose—we’re still hockey players. We rule this school, dude.” “Spoken like a man without ambition,” Garrett says, his lips twitching.

"Uh-huh,” Logan says as if he’s in agreement, but I’ve known him long enough to be able to pick up on his sarcasm. “Anyway, this girl…she’s the love of my life. She’s smart and funny and unbelievably compassionate. She forgives people even when they don’t deserve it. She—” “Good lay?” Pace interrupts. “Oh yeah. The best.”

"Was the sex really boring?” “Why is everything with you always about sex?” I pass the joint back. “And FYI—the sex was fine.” “Fine?” He snickers. “Wow, what a ringing endorsement.”

(Garrett when texting his ‘manwhore’ friend) Garrett: Allie’s gonna crash in my room. Garrett: Your dick can stay in your room.

"Did you have a girlfriend in high school?” I ask. He waggles his eyebrows. “I had many.” “Oooh, what a stud.”

He sighed. “Fine. I spoke with Hestia about your history lessons, arranged for you to begin self-defense lessons with Charon—” “What?” Charon piped up from his end of the table. “When did that happen?” “Just now,” Hades said around a bite of chicken. “I’m multitasking.”

“You know, I don’t actually have sex with every woman I talk to, Chess.” “You don’t?” “So dubious.” He nudges me with his shoulder. “I do have some standards.” “And they are?” He gives me a cheeky look. “Whether or not I want to have sex with them.” “Your vetting processes is foolproof, I’ll give you that.”

She exhales heavily. “I’m babbling.” “I’m used to it,” I say, shrugging. “A lot of women lose their shit around me.” Cassie rolls her eyes. “They probably lose their lunches too.”

I interrupt her, clearing my throat loudly. “No names,” I say, looking around. “A code name, then,” she suggests. “I want to know if Horse –“ I roll my eyes. “Do I need to ask why you picked that as a code name?” “I was trying not to be subtle.“ She runs her finger along the rim of her margarita glass and licks salt off her fingertip. “Because he’s hung like a horse, obviously.” “Yes. I got the joke.” “Yeah, you should have, especially given the fact that you’ve seen all of the goods.” “I’m not referring to him as Horse,” I protest. “Donkey would be more appropriate, since he’s a jackass.” “Oh, that fits, too,” she says, laughing. “Donkeys have huge dicks.” “Conversation with you is always so classy, Sable. It’s really a testament to how you were raised. Those classes in etiquette must have taught you a lot.”

“You brought flowers,” I note flatly. Flowers from a football player? What kind of warped parallel universe did I just enter? He shrugs. “Chicks like flowers, don’t they?” “Your charm is overwhelming, only surpassed by your sexism.”

“If you want, I can take these pants off and remind you what you were looking at.” “Thanks, but I had a late lunch. I’m hoping not to vomit it up today.”

-Just a compilation of (I think) really great one-liners from books/fanfictions I’ve read