#looking at you ”my fire and water the best thing that ever happened to me baby you are my love minun ukkelini beauty face i love bojan etc”

[dreaminofu]

Bojan: *exists* Jere:

[baby-yongbok]

𝘗𝘪𝘯𝘬 + 𝘞𝘩𝘪𝘵𝘦

Hwang Hyunjin 𝗑 Afab!Reader

♡ Genre - Friends to Lovers

♡ CW - Explicit Sexual Content, Unprotected Sex, Nightmares, Alcohol usage by reader, Hyunjin calls reader rose as a nickname, One use of 'y/n'.

♡ Summary - Your avoidant tendencies have allowed the burn of pink and white to keep you Hyunjin at a safe distance until it all comes crashing down. Can the fire that kept you apart also be what brings you together?

♡ Word Count - 9.2k

♡ A/N - I went from not being sure if I liked this fic to being in love with it. I think that it's a very sweet fic and I loved writing it. I worked so hard on it and I'm so proud of it. The goal was for it to be 4k words.. then I almost posted it at 8k but now... yeah. I hope that you love this as much as I do!

♡ Playlist - Pink + White - Frank Ocean, Rainy Days - V, For Us - V, Beautiful Things - Benson Boone, Trajectories - Bruno Major

✧ Masterlist ✧

When you were six years old you punched a boy in the face on the playground. That was the first time that you ever felt the burn of genuine fear.

Your mom along with the many others came swirling around them. When your mother asked you what happened you cried. You clung to her running over to you and the crying brunette boy on the playground with a mix of emotions and explained the best you could through your tears that you didn’t like that he was chasing you, when you agreed to play tag you thought that you’d be the chaser not the one being chased.

That was the day that you learned two things about yourself, you have a habit of acting impulsively when you’re scared and you don’t like being chased. It's suffocating.

As you got older your friends described you as the avoidant type, especially in relationships. You developed a reputation for being an ice queen in your Sophomore year of university which led to you being one of the most sought after girls on campus. 

You’ve lost friends because of this. Their boyfriends saw getting close to them as a gateway to meeting you. Many guys took dating you as a challenge with an end prize of overnight popularity. Unfortunately, some of your closest relationships have been destroyed because of it. You learned not to be sad about it, you’ve come to terms with it, this is just the way that it goes. Of course your other friends were all important to you but you always told yourself that you’re alright with losing them as long as you have your best friend by your side. 

“More roses? Are you in love or something?” You weaved through the cluttered art studio that Hyunjin has claimed as his own. It’s on the dead side of campus on the second floor of a building that was abandoned last year. Your best friend refused to let the studio go when it was shut down, he says that it houses some of his fondest memories. 

“Always in love, never loved back.” He quips, eyes still trained on the canvas. “You’re early.”

You jump up onto one of the few clear desks in the room, right behind his easel. “Chemistry ended early.” Hyunjin stands straight, eyeing his canvas for a second before looking over at you. He knows that you’re skipping class. Your last hook-up is in that class and you're trying to avoid his attempt at getting you in his bed again. If you’re being honest, the decision to sleep with him was impulsive. You blame the beer, all eight of them.

“I thought that we could go to the exhibition early.” He starts another brush stroke and silence swallows you both. “I’m excited about it and if I’m being honest I just wanna spend time with you. I’ve barely seen you for the past three days.”

Hyunjin’s steady hand wavers and he thanks his lucky stars that you didn’t see it. “Aw she misses me. She loves me so much.” The sound of your feet hitting the ground as you jump off of the desk echoes through the dusty room of stacked chairs and forgotten storage items. 

Hyunjin stands and dips the paint brush covered in bright pink in the cup of water next to him. “You could’ve come to my place ya know.” You grab your stuff, swinging your bag onto your shoulder. 

“Your brother is there, you know how he gets.” You scrunch your face at the thought of Hyunjin’s step brother, Jeongin. The two of you get along perfectly, almost as well as you and Hyunjin until Jeongin starts flirting. He confessed to you on New Years and you’ve been avoiding him ever since. He’s too sweet for you, you’d hate to hurt him. “I’m gonna go change, I’ll meet you by your car.”

“You brought a costume change for an art exhibit?” He asks as he starts cleaning his space.

“Of course, I need to look like art too.” You smile at him but he doesn’t smile back, he rolls his eyes and turns his attention back to the mess of paints and rags on the desk in front of him. He waits until he hears the door open and close behind you to finally let the corners of his mouth turn up. He chuckles to himself quietly while his mind comes up with responses that he’d never dare to utter out loud.

“This one looks like you, rose.” The year old nickname slips off of Hyunjin’s tongue like silk. You’ve never fully understood how the name stuck. You figured that it’s because roses are his favorite flower and he thought it was cute. You’ve never asked for its origin but you don’t mind the name. It’s sweet.

You turn to view the series of pink, white and green dots making up a bouquet of roses on the framed canvas in front of Hyunjin. He studies it with smiling eyes though the neutral look on his face could fool those who haven’t experienced him like you have.

“It’s pretty.” You mumble as you lean your head on his shoulder. You wrap your arm around his and the sleeve of the brown oversized flannel shirt that you picked out a year ago rides up his forearm a bit, he blames the chills running up his spine on the breeze against the newly exposed skin. 

“I knew I’d see you here.” The voice of a woman next to Hyunjin startles you a bit. You stand straight and watch as Hyunjin smiles towards her. He’s cursing her in his head for interrupting the moment between the two of you but he learned a long time ago to just live in the moment when it comes to you.

“Of course, I had to see this exhibition.” He shakes her hand and you chalk it up to her being someone important though she doesn’t look much older than either of you. “You put it together beautifully.”

Ah, she owns the gallery. “Oh, please, it’s nothing. I just hope that you’re enjoying it. I actually thought about you when I put this piece up.” She motions towards the art in front of the two of you. The piece that Hyunjin says resembles you. “It looks like something you’d design. I’m still desperate to organize a local exhibition for you, ya know.”

Hyunjin laughs but it's stiff and polite. He’s being shy. He’s a very cautious person but he reaches a whole new level when it comes to his art. “I’m not quite on that level yet.”

“I disagree but I won’t bother you about it until you graduate. This is your final semester, right?” You can see her eyes smiling just like Hyunjin’s were a second ago as she checks him out. She’s shameless in her actions, the glint in her eyes is far from professional. 

“Yes, just three months to go.” She nods, dragging her gaze up from his lips with a smile. 

“Call me when you graduate, I’d love to have you working with us.” She pulls a business card out of her pocket and flashes one last smile before waving a reluctant goodbye towards your best friend. 

Silence settles between the two of you for just a couple of seconds before you break it. “She wants to fuck you so badly that she didn’t even look at me.” Hyunjin scoffs at your whispered words as he slips the card into his pocket. “Don’t tell me that you didn’t notice. How old is she anyway? She looks a bit young to be in charge of this place.”

“Her father owns it.” He mumbles as he grabs your wrist and leads you over to the next piece of art. 

“Oh, of course. She probably thought I was your girlfriend, ya know. She’s rude as hell for not even asking or looking at me. I know she saw me here, she’s clearly -” You’re pulled into Hyunjin’s side before you can finish your sentence. The sudden action cuts you off with a heavy thump of your heart and that painfully familiar burn rising in your chest. 

“Look at this one.” Your eyes are on him but his are on the art. “This one looks like you too.” You pull your gaze away from him to view the piece. The thumping in your chest doubles once your gaze meets your own. It’s a mirror with pink and white abstract designs floating around and over the glass. The paint is so messy yet strategic. It leaves just enough room for your reflection. 

“It’s messy yet elegant, don’t you think? You can’t help but to stare..” He’s visibly smiling now. The corners of his mouth turn up as he studies the art in front of him. As he studies you. “This one might be my favorite. It’ll be hard to beat it.”

“I don’t like it.” You mutter quickly, pulling away from Hyunjin and turning towards the next piece. You try your best to steady your breathing. You will your heart to calm down so that you can take a complete breath but it’s betraying you. “I’m gonna use the bathroom.” 

You’re walking away before Hyunjin can reply. He watches you with that smile in his eyes as you disappear around the corner. He knew that what he pulled would be a risk but it was one that he was willing to take. He doesn’t call you beautiful nearly as much as he should or as much as he really wants to. 

In the bathroom you’re slumped against the door of a stall while you try to catch your breath. You don’t like how Hyunjin’s words made that white hot burn in your chest kick up. You don’t like the way that his eyes being on you made you feel like you were the only two in the entire gallery. It’s suffocating. 

When you step out of the stall your fingers are busy on your phone screen. You find your friend Isa’s number quickly and take a sigh of relief when she answers on the third ring. You bypass reciprocating her kind greeting and get right to the point. 

“Get-together at yours tomorrow?”

You’re standing in the middle of the Pink and White art exhibition. Other viewers jumble together along the walls of the gallery and crowd the pieces. You can’t see anything but their blurred faces decorating the white walls. There’s a slow yet heavy beating in your ears but you’re comfortable. You’re alone in the middle of it all, watching everyone from a pleasant distance as you turn to study them all as if they’re the art on the walls.

 The beating in your ears skips as you turn and come face to face with Hyunjin. He’s standing in front of you wearing that brown hat that you love and the oversized flannel that he bought just to share with you.

 Suddenly the others in the room are quiet. All eyes are on you but Hyunjin’s gaze is the most piercing. His brown eyes are smiling at you with a softness that makes the flame in your chest burn brighter. 

“Why are you staring at me like that?” You look around at everyone else but they’ve vanished along with the art on the walls. The beating in your ears picks up, it’s deafening but Hyunjin’s voice can be heard loud and clear over the noise.  

“I like staring at you.” He takes a step towards you but you take two back. He frowns and steps forward again. You repeat the process until your back is against the wall. “Why do you do that?” 

“I’m not doing anything.” You swallow hard as you try to push him away but he’s stronger than you. As strong as stone caging you against the stark white wall. “I can’t breathe.” You’re pushing as hard as you can but it’s no use. You’re stuck under him.

“Why do you do this?” He’s still staring down at you, a burning gaze setting your skin ablaze. “Why do you keep running?” The beating in your ears drowns out all sensible thoughts. You can feel your veins swelling with fear and the blinding white burning in your chest puffs up with the crushing pressure of having him so close. Too close. 

“Back up.” You inhale the thick air, feeling dizzy. “Move.”

“Stop running.” You try to inhale but it gets stuck in your throat. You want to scream. You need to escape. You need to get out of here. 

You lift your heavy arm the best you can and pull back enough to punch Hyunjin. You aim for his face but your fist goes through him just as your lungs start to burn, you take one last look at him before the wall behind you gives out and you’re falling backwards. Hyunjin watches you, his eyes are void of that sparkling smile and guilt consumes you right before you hit the ground.

You jump up with a gasp as your eyes frantically search the room around you. Your chest rises and falls heavily and sweat beads at your hairline.

It was a dream. 

Friday is a late day for you with your last class ending at nine in the evening. Hyunjin always waits for you in the abandoned art studio, he waits for two hours just to walk you to your dorm across campus. It’s become a routine for the two of you but you told him not to wait up tonight. He was reluctant at first, he insisted on waiting for you but you were adamant about breaking your routine.

He agreed eventually but you could see the dejection in his eyes as he hugged you goodbye before your last class. He watched you walk away just like he always did but this time his heart was heavy in his chest. Did he do something wrong? 

That question haunted him throughout the day. It was loud in his head as he collected his stuff and made his way to the abandoned studio. It echoed in his ears as he tried to finish the painting of his vibrant rose that he’s added notes of dusty pale pink to. But it was the loudest when Jeongin called him to ask if he was going to the get-together at Minho’s place tonight.

He knows that you and Minho’s girlfriend Isa are close so you have to know about this, hell, you might’ve even helped plan it and you kept it from him. You’re avoiding him.

You skipped your class to head to Minho and Isa’s place. They share a small apartment right off of campus that you often use as an escape. Isa is one of the few friends that you still have from sophomore year since her boyfriend has never once tried to get in your pants. 

You sat on Isa’s bed clutching a bottle of soju that is not at all meant for one person while you laid your head in her lap. You loved being with her because there was never any pressure to fill the silence. She understands you in a way that other people just don’t. Not even Hyunjin. 

“So, he called you pretty?” You’ve been telling her everything from what happened at the art gallery to the nightmare you had last night. “And now you’re avoiding him?”

“I’m not avoiding him.” You take a swig from the glass bottle and gulp hard to rush the alcohol into your system. “I’m just being careful.”

“You’re being careful by avoiding your best friend… because he called you pretty and you had a nightmare about it?” You sit up with a groan, lifting the bottle to your mouth again with a sigh. She’s not getting it. 

“You didn’t see the way he looked at me. You didn’t feel the way he pulled me into him, his arm wrapped around my waist and he just stared at me with that smile in his eyes. You know the one that makes his eyes shine when he sees something pretty? He was looking at me like that and he told me that I looked elegant. Messy but elegant and that he couldn’t help but to stare. There was a softness in his voice, I swear, and he just wouldn’t take his eyes off of me. It’s like he was looking into me instead of at me it was… it was..”

“Sweet?” You tap the bottle in your hands with your nails. 

“Suffocating. It was too much. It made my heart skip and it made me feel hot.” 

“That usually means that you like him, ya know.” She takes the bottle from you, drinking from it a bit herself. “ You know that he’s a romantic and this isn’t the first time you’ve felt like this with him.” She hands the cold glass back to you while you think back to the other times that you’ve felt this. The latest being your birthday three months ago when Hyunjin whisked you away to the next city for a mini getaway. 

You stayed in the same hotel room and on the night of your birthday you had a bit too much to drink. He carried you up to your room since you were too out of it to walk but you weren’t too far gone to forget the way that he handled you with such gentle care.

He brushed your hair out of your face when he laid you on your bed and took your make-up off with such a tender touch that it made you want to kiss him. You almost kissed him. 

“I don’t like him like that.” You shrug and she sighs. 

“Whatever you say, ice queen.” That damned nickname makes you cringe but Minho is bursting through the door before you can rebuttal. 

“Jisung and Bin just got here, come on.” You stare at him with confused eyes and he crosses his arms as he stares back at you. “Well? Get up, you wanted to do this.”

“Do what?” You look over at Isa who’s already getting up from the bed.

“Did you not call her asking for a get-together? People are getting here so come on. I’m not hosting this by myself.” Your heart drops and you stare over at Isa who looks back at you with her own look of confusion until it all sinks in.

 “You meant for it to be just us, didn’t you?”

Hyunjin is a cautious person, anyone who knows him knows that about him. He doesn’t like when things go wrong because of him. It eats him alive until he can fix it and if he can’t he lets the anxiety consume him until a part of him dies with the memory of it all. 

His cautious nature is what prompted him to drive home after he got that call from Jeongin. It brought him right to his bedroom where he dropped his bag by the foot of his bed and laid back against the mattress with a death stare set on the dull ceiling. It stared back at him, reflecting his thoughts back to him for him to analyze. 

His brother left for the get-together as soon as he walked through the door and Hyunjin was tempted to follow him down to Seungmin’s car.

He was tempted to drop his bag and turn on his heels and come straight to you but he knew better. He knew you better than you knew yourself. If he shows up at that get-together you’ll avoid him like the plague. You’ll feel trapped by his presence and any hope that he has of fixing this situation will die right in front of his eyes. 

His cautious nature is what’s keeping him on his bed. It’s what’s grounding him to this spot and sating the burning desire to chase you. The problem is that the fire in his chest is bigger than he can handle. He’s seen how you treat the men you want to avoid on campus, he’s seen you take the long way home just to avoid a conversation and the thought of you doing that to him makes him wilt. He can’t let that happen. 

His feet are carrying him across his room before he can even fully process it. He opens his closet and pulls out the brown flannel along with his brown beanie. They’ve become comfort items for the both of you at this point, especially the flannel. It feels like a thread connecting you to him and him to you. He needs to save that connection.

 He sloppily throws on the items while he checks the clock. He’s nearly two hours late but there’s still time. 

Hyunjin has never gotten a speeding ticket but he was nearly positive that he’d get one tonight. He made it to Minho’s place in record time but he’s panting when he knocks on the door like he’s ran there. His heart is hammering when Isa answers the door and the look on her face when she takes him in only makes his heart beat faster. 

She forces a smile, inviting him in and telling him where everything is but he already knows all of that and she knows that he does. “She doesn’t want to see me does she?” Isa sighs, giving him a look that answers each and every one of his questions all at once. 

“Thanks for letting me in.” He walks past her with a nervous huff, making his way into the small party and searching for you immediately. He finds Changbin and Chan before he can find you and the two quickly drag him into a conversation about gods know what while wedging a glass bottle of mystery liquid into his fist. 

Hyunjin’s eyes wander in an attempt to find you as he ignores his friends' conversation. Luckily it didn’t take long for the sound of your loud laughter to echo through the room. His eyes were on you in an instant once he heard it. You’re right in front of him sitting in the truth or dare circle with a can of something strong in your hand. You’re always the loudest in the room but right now you seem to be the drunkest too, you shouldn’t be playing that game you’ll do something reckless.  

He wants to go over and pull you up, he wants to tell you that you’re going home and that you need to sober up. He wants to get you to talk to him but he ignores everything he wants and watches you instead. He stays cautious and keeps his distance. 

“Y/n, truth or dare.” One of your few girl friends, Harvey asks from across the circle. You answer ‘dare’ with a wide smile, it’s no surprise, you always pick that. The raven haired girl looks over to Mingi for assistance since she’s known for picking terrible dares. After a couple seconds of deliberation the blonde perks up with an idea.

“I dare you to kiss whoever this bottle lands on.” Mingi dares with a nonchalant smile and you shrug, the alcohol in your system is surely boosting your confidence but it’s not like you’ll remember any of this tomorrow so who cares, right?

He spins the bottle in the middle of the circle and everyone watches with quiet anticipation as it lands on the copper haired boy sitting three people away from you. It’s Jeongin. 

He stops in the middle of sipping from his cup and flashes you a small innocent smile but what you return to him is nothing less than a look of raw seduction. You’re on your feet in an instant, making your way over to him with low and hazy eyes. You straddle him swiftly, getting comfortable in his lap like you’ve done this a hundred times. 

“You sure about this, noona?” His hands rest on your thighs, he brushes his thumbs over the bareskin and you can feel a shiver down your spine. It almost reminds you of how Hyunjin touched you on your birthday. 

“Do you not wanna kiss me?” You tease him with a slight slur to your voice. You know he wants to kiss you, everyone does except for Hyunjin, right? 

Just as that thought passes your eyes flicker up and meet those of the very man on your mind. He’s watching you with an angry gaze as he fists the neck of the glass bottle in his hand. Your mouth goes dry as you take him in, when did he get here? You feel stuck staring at him, everything around you is suddenly muted and the people around you disappear. It’s only you and Hyunjin.

Both of your hearts are pounding in your chest. 

Both of you feel like you can’t breathe. 

Both of you are about to do something that you shouldn’t.

“Kiss her already!” Ryujin instigates from across the circle and you snap out of your haze and blink down at Jeongin. You both share a smile, one more genuine than the other, before he’s leaning into you. His lips just barely brush against yours before you’re interrupted.

A firm grip on your shoulder startles you and the man under you. You both look up to meet the eyes of the angry Hyunjin above you.“Get up.” He practically growls with a slight tug on your arm. You stare up at him with glassy eyes though you are feeling a bit more sober now. “Get. Up.” 

You’re being pulled up before you can process it. Your feet fight to keep up with him as you stumble towards the bedroom he’s leading you to. You can feel all eyes on you, you can feel the room getting smaller once he locks the bedroom door behind the two of you and pulls his flannel off to drape over your shoulders, something that he does to comfort you. 

“What the fuck?” That’s all you can manage to get out of your mouth as you stare over at him. He stares back with his arms crossed and his chest rising and falling with what you perceive as anger but he would describe as anxiety. Pure fear. 

“Do you understand what you were about to do?” Hyunjin tries to be mindful of his tone. He tries to limit the waver of his words and calm the frantic thoughts in his head. He’s trying. “Why would you kiss him?”

“I didn’t.” The alcohol in your system takes over again and you thank the ridiculous amount of soju you’ve consumed for coming to the rescue. You tug on the flannel resting over your shoulders, pretending that its warmth would protect you from the buzzing in your head and inevitable burning in your chest.

“You would’ve if I didn’t stop you. What happened to you not being into Jeongin? What happened to you not wanting to hurt him?”

You groan, stomping your foot like a child being scolded by their guardian. Like the little girl who punched the brunette boy in the face for chasing her. “Why don’t you mind your business?”

Hyunjin scoffs, his anxiety grows in his chest and he takes a step back. “You are my business.” 

It’s silent for one, two, three heartbeats before the dizzying emotions burning in your chest fill in the silence for you. “Well maybe I shouldn’t be. You’re way too attached to me.”

Hyunjin feels frozen even though he’s stepping back from you. He’s creating more space between the two of you just like you seem to be doing. What do you mean by that? You’re rambling on before he can ask. “You do all of these things that make me feel like I can’t breathe. You call me pretty and you touch me softly and you hold me close and… and you just make me feel hot. You suffocate me.”

Hyunjin whispers through the bubbles forming in his throat. He’s gentle with the way he speaks, he is a cautious person after all, especially when it comes to his art. “Is this about what I said at the gallery?”

His question goes in one ear and right out the other. Your brain formulates words quicker than you can process them, creating a violent episode of word vomit that threatens to spill over your lips and onto the carpet but you swallow hard and condense it all into one simple yet seering sentence. “You keep making my heart race, it’s not fair. You need to go, just go.”

Hyunjin’s blood runs cold and his temples throb like you’ve hit him. Like you’ve punched him in the face. Anxiety bubbles in his veins and swells behind his eyes. It’s his turn to ramble, the word vomit seems to be contagious. 

“I’m not leaving.” His gaze is frantic, cautious, scared. “I am too attached, you’re right. I have been for a while. I’ve loved you for a while and I tried to hide it but I shouldn’t have to. I shouldn’t be scared that I’ll lose my best friend if I tell her that she’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”

 “No, you are not confessing to me right now. Don’t you dare do that.” You pace to the left then the right in a hurried attempt to escape his words before they could reach you. He can’t be doing this right now. You needed to get out of here.

“I am. I am confessing to you. I need you to hear me say that I love you because I do and it scares me just as much as it scares you but you are the reason that it’s scaring me. Losing you is the reason that I’m afraid and I need you to tell me that that isn’t going to happen.” His voice is shaky just like your hands. He watches you like a dog being dropped off at the pound as you physically try to escape him. He knew this would happen, this is what he was afraid of. 

“Stop. Just stop it, Hyunjin. You’re doing it again, I can’t breathe when you’re this close to me.” He stares over at you from the other side of the room and you stare back at him. This doesn’t make any sense. He isn’t next to you but you still can’t breathe. It doesn’t make any sense. “I have to go - I have - just… just leave me alone.” You turn towards the bedroom door but he speaks up before you can make your escape. 

“I’m not going to chase you.” Hyunjin is unmoving. His feet are still planted to the floor like a statue as he slips his fists into his pocket. “I don’t want to push you further away but don’t you dare go home and convince yourself that I don’t care just because I let you go.” 

You listen to him over your hammering heart with your back turned to him and your unsteady gaze trained on the worn door knob. “I’m letting you go with the hope that you’ll come back. You know where to find me.” 

Your feet threaten to betray you, they try to turn you around and drive you over to him but your heart is screaming. That white flame is burning in your chest and begging you to run. Run as fast as you can and find safety, but your safety is standing behind you. It’s watching you with teary eyes that are desperate to meet yours. 

A tear slips down your cheek as you grab the doorknob and pull it with a quick twist. You follow your heart and rush out of the room with tears decorating your face and your hand over your mouth. You let the burning win again.

You rush past everyone, Isa tries to stop you and Minho even catches you for a minute but you fight him off of you and make your way to the front door. You don’t get too far before the last layer of your resolve snaps, You turn onto the next dark block and sink to the ground. Sobs rip through you as Hyunjin’s words hang in your head. He loves you. He wants you but you left him. You left everything you’ve ever wanted behind you. 

A heavier sob escapes you as the truth of it all comes crashing down. You love him too, don’t you? You’ve loved him for so long. Since your birthday and beyond that but you’ve been avoiding it. You’ve avoided your feelings just like you have everything else. You’ve punched yourself in the face, you’ve chased yourself into a corner and now you might just lose everything you have left. You might lose your best friend.

The storms over the next two days swirl the skies into mysterious clouds of pink and white as rain soaks the grass the same way that you’ve soaked your pillow for hours. You’ve opted to stay in, avoiding anything or anyone that could remind you of Friday’s catastrophe.

 You’ve debated texting Jeongin and apologizing for what you remember of the situation. You almost called Isa to spill the fears bubbling in your lungs to her so that she could help you sort through them but she can’t. This is up to you. You need to make a choice. Will you run away from the fire or towards it? 

On the other side of campus Hyunjin sits in the abandoned studio with paint stained hands and dried tears on his cheeks. He’s left his previous painting incomplete. The bright blushing rose sits across the room with the others just like it while he touches his brush to the canvas and smears a smoky mauve to the pristine white flesh. His lines are messy and uncalculated. Far from cautious. 

For a moment he considers that he was only ever careful because of you. Your lack of control over your emotions inspired him to fill in the blanks for you. Now there’s no need for caution without you.

The rain carried into Monday along with the emptiness in your chest. You’ve typed and deleted paragraphs to Hyunjin who has done the same as he sat on the studio floor.

He stayed in the dusty room until midnight each day that he was without you and you stayed up well past then. He poured himself into painting and you poured yourself onto the carpet of your dorm room. You made lists and mapped your emotions until it all started to make a bit more sense. Until the love that burned alongside your hot white fear was glowing pink in the mirror. 

You skipped your classes on Monday, your feet drove you over to the dead side of campus through the violent rain. You stood in the hallway outside of Hyunjin’s studio. The worn copper doorknob stared back at you like it knew what you were here to do. Like it was daring you to go inside. You suck in a breath as you grab the metal, you’ve never been one to back down from a dare.

The studio is empty when you walk inside. The fading warm light of the lamps that you and Hyunjin bought and snuck in illuminate the space the best that they can given the dull pink skies. Your eyes catch on the new piece sitting up on his easel. It’s dark and runny, it’s raw and it feels like it’s calling your name. 

“Hi.” Hyunjin’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts. His voice is small and surprised as he stares over at your frame clad in that famous brown flannel and sweatpants. 

“Hi.” You whisper back. He looks like a mess. Brown hat, pulled too far over his head and his hair spilling from every exit it can find. “More roses?” 

He stares passed you and over at the wilting petals on the canvas with a sad smile. “It’s like I’m in love or something.” 

Your guilt tinged heart beats a bit faster when he steps further into the room and closes the door behind him. He drops his bag next to the door and stares at the dinghy tile with his hands in his pockets. “I’m sorry. For everything, for the party and everything with your brother and for everything that I said.” 

The word vomit is back. It spilled over your lips before you could attempt to swallow it back but you’re almost thankful for it. You have no clue how you’d get your words out otherwise. “You just made me feel… I just felt..” You kick at the cracked tile as if it holds the answers you’re looking for but Hyunjin beats you to it.

“Suffocated.” His eyes are on you now, they’re low and shadowed in a longing sadness. “I’ve seen this happen a million times to other guys and I thought that I was being careful enough to avoid it.” 

“This is nothing like the other guys.” Your bag slumps off of your shoulder and you carelessly allow it to hit the floor. “Your confession just -” He cuts you off with a tight smile.

 “I know. It ruined everything.” He sighs, sad eyes examining the space between the two of you. “I ruined everything and I’m sorry for that, rose. I really am.”

“It didn't. It didn’t ruin anything, it just scared me. I felt suffocated, yes, but not by you. It was by what I felt for you. That’s why this isn’t like what happened with any of the other guys. I never wanted them. Avoiding them was easy but you… avoiding you..” Hyunjin watches your heaving chest with the caution that he thought had abandoned him. He’s quiet, allowing you time to gather your thoughts. He doesn’t want to corner you, he just wants to hear you. 

“Why do you call me that?” You whisper once your breathing has steadied. “Why did you start calling me rose?”

Suddenly he’s looking past you then down at the tile under his feet. He leans against the door behind him, a faint smile decorating his sad face. “You were wearing one in your hair on the day that I realized I love you.” He looks over to where his easel is set up. “We were sitting right there and you had a pale pink rose behind your left ear. You picked me one to match and I told you that it was my favorite flower because in that moment it was. It was beautiful but you…your beauty is hard to beat.”

Your heart is thumping in your ears, it’s a sound that you’ve grown comfortable with over the past few days. The clutter of the abandoned room almost seems to disappear as you process his words. The burning in your chest makes itself known along with the newly identified pink flame. The white walls of the studio almost seem brighter as you receive Hyunjin’s confession. You let it sink in and drown out the tension little by little. “So when you paint them…”

“I’m painting you. I’m always painting you.” The thumping is deafening but Hyunjin is clear over the noise. He has always been the only one who can cut through it all, even in your dreams. 

You can feel yourself falling just like in your nightmare only it’s forwards. You’re falling forwards as your feet carry you to him. You run. You run to him and you fall into his arms that have been desperate to catch you for months. The burn in your chest is paralyzing, it’s seering and fighting the pink flame for dominance. 

You cry into his chest, you sob as the pain of running into the fire engulfs you. It swallows you whole and you stand in it with him, you cling to him before you burn to ash and he holds you like he knows it all. He cradles the back of your head like he can feel the fire ripping your flesh apart. 

You’re flush against him, tears soaking his shoulder and burning all over until he does what no one has done before. He puts it all out. A simple kiss to the top of your head dowses the flame and reduces it to a measly spark of fear overshadowed by an uncontainable pink and white glow of love in your chest. 

You gasp at the cooling effect. Air rushes into your lungs and you can finally breathe, he’s the oxygen you needed. He’s everything you’ve needed but now you want to give your air away again. You want to give it all to him. 

You pull away from his shoulder in one swift motion, your eyes are shut tight as your lips find his and you pull him into a hard and messy kiss. The sound that escapes you both is desperate and beautiful. His lips move with yours in an uncoordinated rhythm that makes your lungs burn comfortably. They burn the way that they’re supposed to. 

Hyunjin cries into the kiss. Tears stream down his cheeks as he cradles you against him like you’d vanish if he didn’t. He drinks it all in, he allows himself to live in this moment that he’s been dying to have with you for what feels like an eternity before he reluctantly breaks the kiss. 

His eyes are still closed when he pulls away. He whispers to you, careful not to crack the shell of this delicate moment. “I thought you -” 

“I don’t want to keep running. I can’t, I need you. I can’t lose you.” Your eyes flutter open at the same time as his. He stares down at you with that smile in his eyes. That smile he has when he sees something beautiful, when he’s utterly enamored by the sight before him. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know how to do any of this, I only know that I want to do it with you.”

He’s quiet for a couple of seconds before a smile sneaks up on him. It fades just as quickly as it came and his eyebrows pinch together. “You want me?” You nod and the smile shows itself again. 

“I want you.” He leans back in, cupping your cheek as he kisses you hard. His body pushes against yours and you move with him as he walks backwards towards one of the few empty desks and lifts you onto it. 

His hands explore every inch of you that he can reach. He balls his fist over the baggy flannel hiding your body from him while your fingers tangle in his hair and scratch over his shoulders and up his arms.

 He breaks the kiss to run his lips over the flushed flesh of your neck, he whispers into your skin between each kiss “Tell me to stop.” He pulls at the collar of the flannel to kiss the curve of your neck. “I’ve waited so long for this, please tell me to stop. Tell me to wait.”

You push his head further into the crook of your neck as you tilt your head further to give him better access. “I don’t want you to.” He sucks a mark into the skin right below your ear and you pull his tucked in shirt from his pants with an elated moan. 

His clumsy fingers fight to unbutton the oversized flannel as yours attempt to unbutton his jeans. You reach your goal before he does and waste no time capitalizing on your victory. You dip your hand in just enough to fish his growing erection from his briefs and wrap your hand around it. 

Hyunjin moans at the stimulation, leaning his forehead against yours and squeezing his eyes shut as you stroke him slowly. “Fuck, please don’t, I wont - I can’t last.”

 You kiss his temple softly, whispering reassurance that you don’t care to have him last, you just want to have him. Once he’s centered himself again he continues his struggle to expose your body to him. The final button falls open like the curtain to a play and he stares down your scantily clad torso like an audience in awe. 

His hand moves on its own as he admires you. It dips into the waistband of your sweatpants and swipes over your clothed clit.

 Your head falls forward to rest on his shoulder with a quiet moan as he groans into the air. Your grip on his cock tightens a bit in response to the sensation and he hisses. “Please tell me I can feel you. Is it okay? Can I?” 

He doesn't want your first time to be here but he wants you. He needs you. 

Hyunjin hooks a finger into the damp gusset of your panties and pulls it to the side just enough to slip a finger into your waiting cunt. You pant in his ear, wanton moans bubble over the brim of your lips as his free hand cradles the side of your neck. “Look at me, please look at me, baby.”

 He runs his thumb over your cheek, brushing over the path of your dried tears. “So pretty, this must be a dream.” You shake your head. Speaking between moans. “Not a dream, baby.”

 He slips in another finger as you circle your palm over the head of his cock and you both moan. “Please tell me I can.” He leans his forehead against yours, his desperate eyes reflect the look in your own.

“You can. Please, I want you to.” 

“Have you ever thought about it?” He’s asking before he can process it and you’re shaking your head before he can even finish his sentence. A shy glaze washes over your desperate gaze as you watch him undress you.

 “You’re all I ever think about.” He whispers as he hooks his thumbs into the band of your pants. “You’re all I’ve wanted for the past year.” 

“I’ve loved you since my birthday.” You blurt out, vulnerable eyes peering into his. “Maybe even before that.” He runs a finger over your clothed cunt and you shudder under the touch.

“I wanted to kiss you the night of your birthday. You looked so beautiful but you were wasted. You wouldn’t have remembered. I just stared at you, I took your make-up off and I brushed the hair from your face and you stared back at me. I was just dying to kiss you. I was dying to confess.” Your hand runs slowly up his shaft and he swears that he feels electric. 

“I wanted to kiss you too.” He’s quiet, staring back at you with a smile. “That’s why I was staring”

“I kissed your forehead when you fell asleep.”  He pulls your panties down your legs, allowing them to pool at his feet with your sweatpants. “I knelt by your bed and whispered my confession to you.” 

His fingers are filling you again and you gasp while staring into his eyes. “I wanna hear it.” You whisper through a moan.

 “You want to hear my confession?” You nod, your gently fucked out gaze stares into his like your hypnotized by the moment. He scissors his finger into you, stretching you out just a bit before you’re gasping from the stretch of him replacing his fingers with his length. 

“Fuck, you’re inside of me.” Hyunjin stills with a groan. His forehead rests on your shoulder while he silently begs himself not to come undone just yet. He sucks in a breath before he recites all that he can remember. 

“You’re everything that I thought it would be to fall in love.” He whispers as he pulls back, thrusting into you slowly. “You really snuck up on me, I don’t know what I expected though.” He lifts his head to look at you as he sinks back into you. “You became my world so quickly. So effortlessly.”

 You cup his face with both of your hands as you bite back your moans. You want to hear him loud and clear. You want to remember every word. “I should’ve known that I’d fall in love when I first met you.” He picks up the pace, falling into a messy rhythm that’s accompanied by a fit of moans and grunts. 

He struggles to keep his eyes on you. They flutter shut with each thrust as he feels himself float closer and closer to his climax. “Baby, I won’t last.” You wrap your arms around his neck and one of his wraps around your waist while the other rests on your thigh before creeping over to softly pinch and rub your clit. 

“Hyune, you’re gonna make me - gonna -” He cuts you off with a sloppy kiss, his tongue brushes over your parted lips to request access before making room for itself against yours.

“If you tell me that you’re gonna cum I won’t last another second.” He whispers against your lips and you moan against his.

“What if I tell you that I love you.” Hyunjin’s eyebrows pinch at the confession. That’s way worse than telling him that you’re close. “I’ve loved you back for as long as - as long as you’ve loved me.”

“Rose, baby, you’re gonna -” It’s your turn to kiss him now, it’s a mess of teeth and tongue but you love it. You love him and him you.

 You both pull away in tandem, twin moans ripping through your chests as you both announce yourself to the other. 

“I’m cumming, I’m cumming.” Hyunjin pulls out of you, painting your thighs in his sticky white release while his fingers toy with your clit to ride you through your orgasm. It’s loud and messy and beautiful. A romantic elegance that you want to live in for as long as it’s available. 

Once you’ve both come down from your high Hyunjin kisses your sweaty forehead and you kiss his. He pulls his bottoms up before grabbing the cleanest paint rag he has to clean you up. A comfortable silence settles around you as you ground yourself and take in the space.

“You didn’t finish that one.”

He follows your gaze over to the painting of the pale pink rose. The middle of the canvas contrasts the rest with nothing but dull line art to show the completed picture. It looks like a work in progress. “I know, but I think I like it like that.” He looks back over at you and you at him.

“It looks like you."

It’s been seven months. Graduation has come and gone in the middle of your blooming relationship with Hyunjin and you’ve dedicated each and every second of your budding love to taming the flame. 

Each kiss from him has kept the spark of fear at bay and each touch has taught you how to stop running. It’s been a slow and cautious process that he is more than proud to be a part of. He takes pride in it. He takes pride in being with you.

The smooth breeze of late summer brushes against your skin as you step out of your car. The white dress that Hyunjin picked out for you sticks to you like paint on a canvas as you make your way up to the art gallery. 

It’s buzzing inside, people stand and stare in awe at each piece while whispering and pointing to their favorite details. You stop and stand in the middle of it all, taking it all in with a slow spin on the balls of your feet. You take in every corner until you turn around completely and you’re met with the face of the artist himself. 

“Hi.” Hyunjin smiles down at you, brown baggy flannel hanging from his shoulders. 

“Hi.” You stare back at him with a gleaming smile in your eyes. You take in every inch of him, scanning him like he should be framed and hanging on the walls around you. 

“Why are you staring at me like that?” Hyunjin wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him. “I like staring at you.” Your response makes him beam a shy smile. 

“You should be staring at the art. The artist might get sad if you don’t.” He kisses your forehead before letting you go. Some people around you stare over at the two of you with curious eyes. They’re eager to put a face to the muse of the showing artist. 

You take his hand and lead him over to the piece that a couple is walking away from. You stand in front of it hand in hand as you study it for what feels like the millionth time. “This one is my favorite.” The incomplete pale pink rose stares back at you.

“And why is that?” Hyunjin has that smile in his eyes as he stares up with you. The memory of this piece's origin plays behind his eyes like a memorized movie. 

“I’ve been told that it looks like me.” You lay your head on his shoulder and wrap your arm around his. A chill runs up his spine and he blames it on you. You and the love he feels glowing pink and white around you. 

“There you are.” History repeats itself as the lady that you’ve come to know as Dalia interrupts the two of you. “I wanted to check in with you, how does it feel to finally have your own exhibition?” 

Hyunjin smiles at her politely, turning towards her a bit with his fingers still threaded through yours. “It’s amazing. Thank you, you’ve done a wonderful job putting this together.” 

“Oh, please, it’s nothing. This is all you.” You watch her as her eyes smile just as they always have. Her hand brushes over his arm in a carefully calculated move. She’s still shameless and unprofessional. “This piece is my favorite. The unfinished look is unique and raw. What inspired this one?” 

You grin to yourself as you listen to her. She’s trying so hard that it’s difficult not to laugh. 

“Actually.” Hyunjin pulls your hand a bit, leading you forward so that you’re right next to him. It’s impossible for Dalia to ignore you now. Her eyes scan you reluctantly and the smile on her face falters for a second before she pulls it together. Gosh, that's gratifying. 

“My lovely rose here is the inspiration for it all.” Hyunjin looks over at you with a glow that is unmatched even by the largest of flames. “None of this would be possible without her.” 

It’s like Dalia disappears once Hyunjin looks over at you. You’re the only two in the room as far as you’re concerned. “Oh, well that’s just - that’s wonderful.” Her staggered speech pulls you both out of your loving haze. 

“Such a … sweet profession of love.” She glares over at you though you’re sure that in her head she’s doing a wonderful job at hiding her contempt. “I should make sure that everything is running smoothly. Please excuse me.” 

She clears her throat awkwardly before she departs, you and Hyunjin both bid her smiling farewells before turning to each other with wide smiles. “Show off.” You push his shoulder playfully and he laughs.

“I didn’t do anything.” You roll your eyes as you both wander over to the next piece on the wall. You stare up at the two pink roses in a lone vase, a shadow of sunlight casts down on them both as they rise towards its shining glow. 

A comfortable silence blankets the two of you while you listen to the soft buzz of the people around you. You squeeze his hand softly and he squeezes back just as you open your mouth to speak. 

“She still wants to fuck you.” He smiles 

“Shut up.”

Thank you for reading! I'd love to know what you thought about this fic! Leave a comment or send an ask to let me know! ❣️

ALSO, please follow my back-up acct. @minniee-verse 💕

Perm. Tag List:

@compersian @kibs-and-bits @lixiluvs @armystay89 @lghtdarling

@teddy-stay , @baconcupcakes123, @moonchild9350 ,

@krayzieestay, @soulsbbg , @stay-bi , @yzsqu , @gho-ster , @lghtdarling

(Reply to this post if you'd like to be added to the perm. taglist.)

[cloudybarnes]

bella donna

Pairing: theodore nott x reader

Summary: a sick night in bed calls for your cute boyfriend to come in and take care of you

Word Count: 800+

Masterlist

✰  ✰  ✰

Nothing was helping.

The soup burned your tongue, the medication didn’t cure your stuffy nose, and your throat felt like it was on fire.

You felt like total shit right about now. 

“I’m sorry mi amore.” Theodore said as he wrung out a wet rag to place on your forehead. You were laid up in your bed, covers drawn to your chin as a chill wracked through you. 

Theo sat on a small stool next to your bed. He was being the sweetest boyfriend ever. He waited on you hand and foot for everything you needed. 

He was the one to make the soup and fetch the medicine and rags for your head. 

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry about, Theo,” you mumbled. “You’ve done literally everything right for me.”

He smiled softly, then just as quickly, his smile fell. “I just can’t believe how suddenly this came about. Something must be going around; I heard Draco coughing in class yesterday, he must be the one who got you sick.”

You chuckled but were soon thrown into a fit of coughs. The coughing was so bad, you had to sit yourself up in order to catch your breath. 

“Mio dio,” he softly said. “My poor baby.” Theo rubbed your back as you caught your breath. You smiled at him, grateful for his being here. 

“What would I do without you, Theo?” 

He smiled and left a tender kiss on your forehead. The action was so soft and sweet, your eyes involuntarily closed, a soft smile adorning your lips. Theo really was something special. While most may find him to be a brute and hard to get on with, you’d only ever seen the kind, caring boy standing in front of you. 

“The real question,” he replied, “is how could I ever live without you?”

You giggled as Theo led you from your seated position to lay down. 

“You need your rest, sweetheart. Don’t waste all of your energy sitting up.”

You nodded and let Theo guide you down. You sniffled, but all that did was send more mucus to your throat, causing it to hurt worse. A whimper came from your lips without meaning to. 

“What hurts now, dolcezza?” He felt your forehead with the back of his hand, and gently picked up the discarded rag to dunk it in the bucket of ice water on the floor. 

“Just everything: my head, my throat, my nose, it all just sucks,” you said. “At least I have you to take care of me.”

Theo smiled, his eyes alive with love for you. “I’ll always be here to take care of you, even when you’re snotty and coughing on me.” He teased as he wrung out the ice rag and placed it back on your forehead. 

“Hey!” You whined with a teasing smile. “I didn’t cough on you, just in your general direction.”

“Oh, so that’s how we’re describing it, now, huh bella donna?” 

You gave a health-hearted smile and shifted a little in bed. “I don't feel very pretty right now. I’m all snotted up and it feels like I’ve been hit by a truck.”

“I think you look beautiful, (Y/N). Fully and truly, you are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”

Your heart swelled. You had the sweetest boyfriend in the world. Theo never failed to make you smile and make you feel beautiful, even when you felt far from it. 

Slowly, as to not hurt the ache in your head, you pushed yourself up into a seated position. 

Theo started to fix the pillows so they would accommodate your upright position. “This okay, amore?”

You smiled down at him. Never had you felt more in love with this boy than you did just then. “It’s perfect, my love. Everything you do is just perfect, Theo. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

A pink hue tinted your boyfriend's cheeks as a smile crept onto his face. “You’re everything to me, (Y/N). I would do anything for you. Something as simple as taking care of you while you’re not feeling good is my job as your lover.” 

You didn’t think your heart could take anymore sweetest from him. “Come ‘ere,” you mumbled as you patted the empty side of the bed. “‘wanna lay with you for a little while.”

Theo walked around the bed and climbed into the empty space. He fit perfectly in the bed, like it was made to accompany him. 

You pushed him to lay down so you could rest your tired head on his chest. He lightly chuckled at your movement, and pulled you close to him. His arms wrapped around you as your fist held onto the fabric of his shirt. 

“I love you, (Y/N),” he mumbled. 

You smiled, closing your eyes. Right before sleep pulled you in, you responded, “I love you most, Theo.”

[daydreaming-nerd]

The Prophecy (Lucien Vanserra x Rhys! Sister)/(Azriel x Rhys! Sister) Part 3 (Azriel's Version)

Part One , Part 2

AN: "Majesty, Palo is exhausted. Because Majesty only Palo can take this (angst) and this (groveling) and give you...a masterpiece."

No fr guys I put my whole puss into this plz tell me if you liked it

check out my masterlist

Summary: The only thing worse than having Azriel not know about the bond is watching him and Elain carry on like she doesn’t have a mate as well. Lucien and you have been long time friends but things change after one fateful starfall celebration. It’s not wrong if both of your mates don’t want you right? 

Warnings: angst, fluff like so much fluff, no editing (I'm so tired omg)

Word count: 9,370

We arrived in the house in silence, the only thing to fill the void was the crackling of the enchanted fire that always sprang to life whenever I walked through the door. My eyes were fixed on the floorboards, studying every grain of wood as I put together what had just happened. 

I had told Azriel about the bond, and I did it in anger. I had imagined telling him a million different ways over the past 400 years but never did imagine doing it out of spite. I was just so angry with Elain and her insufferable entitlement that had me seeing red. If anyone should act in such a manner, it should be me, I was a princess after all. 

I was furious with Elain there was no doubt about that, but the voice that kept echoing in my mind was Azriel’s. How he yelled at me. I had known him my whole life and I had never once been afraid of him, until today. 

As if he was tired of the silence, Lucien brushed his hand under my chin bringing my gaze to his, it wasn’t until then that I realized I was crying. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, brows furrowing at my tear stained cheeks. 

“Yeah,” I laughed him off, wiping the water from my face. 

“I’m sorry I interfered like that, I wasn’t sure if you wanted to speak to him or if you wanted me to kick his ass. But he seemed mad and I wouldn’t stand for him yelling at you.” Lucien apologized leaning against the back of the couch a good three feet away sensing I needed some space. 

“I suppose that I wasn’t sure what I wanted either,” I sigh leaning against the doorframe. “Thank you for stepping in. I think it was for the best.” 

“Of course, I’ll always be there for you,” Lucien nods before resuming his staredown with the floor, probably trying to make sense of everything just like I was. “Az seemed…concerned for you. I think the bond snapped for him.” 

“It did,” I say, running my hand over my chest, as if I could touch the faint glow of the bond that now sat in my chest. “It clicked the moment he saw us in the kitchen.”

“Are you happy it clicked?” he asked, once again asking all the questions I truly didn’t have an answer for, at least not yet. 

“I-I’m not sure.” I say honestly, knowing I didn’t need to hide my true feelings from Lu. “I’ve pictured him finding out a million ways, but over the last couple years I’ve kind of given up on the whole endeavor. I felt like I made it clear that I liked him, and he only met me with complaints about other women. First Mor and then Elain.” 

“Maybe he’s changed,” Lucien pointed out. 

“Even if he had it’s not because he loves me.” I murmured sadly. “You heard him in there. He only wants me because he feels entitled to me. He never once acted like he cared about me beyond being his best friend's little sister.” 

“I suppose you’re right, it’s hard to forgive 400 years of cruel behavior,” Lucien muttered, still staring at that little spot on the floor. 

I strode across the room and leaned against the couch with him. I wanted to say something, anything to break the silence. But it was as if all the air had been sucked from the room in one foul swoop. I had just let out a 400 year old secret and for the first time ever, our mates seemed to give a damn about us. I look to Lucien who is still processing everything and I recall how Elain was so upset to see her mate with another female.

“Elain…” I started, wanting to tread carefully. “She seemed pretty upset,” I said, only stating the obvious. 

Lucien chuckled, “Yeah, I think that’s the first time she’s ever called me her mate.” 

“And how do you feel about that?” I ask wanting to give him the same room to speak that he gave me. I knew if he didn’t feel like sharing he wouldn’t, Lucien was no pushover. 

“I feel strangely happy,” he says and for the first time since we got back his lip curls into a half smile. “I think that she might be willing to give me a chance.” 

My heart warms at the idea of Lucien finally getting to have a chance with his true mate, “I’m really happy for you Lu,” I smile, patting his hand that sat on the back of the couch. 

He snaps out of his trance, “that’s not to say that you’re not- you’re a wonderful woman y/n-” he rambles. 

“Hey, HEY!” I shout getting his attention. “I’m happy for you Lucien. You deserve this,” I laugh at his attempt to not hurt my feelings. 

“Thank you y/n,” he smiles, grabbing my hands and squeezing them. 

“What do we do now though,” I sigh looking at his family ring on my finger. 

His eyes flit to the ring as well as his thumb brushes over it, “We continue on as normal, we can push back the wedding. I’m not confident in what Elain wants from me at this point and you clearly are at odds with Azriel. If things don’t work out…” he trails off thinking about hsi next words. “If things don’t work out I would still be honored to have you as my wife. I still feel like we could make eachother happy.” he says earnestly. 

I look into his eyes of russet and gold and see that he truly means every word, “Okay,” I nod my voice barely above a whisper. 

“Okay,” he agrees, keeping his voice down as well. “Shall we head to bed?” he asks. 

“We shall,” I laugh, following him up the stairs. 

That night we didn’t make love, we cuddled as normal though, but somehow even that felt wrong, now that the bond I prayed over for so long hummed within my chest.

 While the little High Lord in training was typically quite docile, he had just learned to crawl and had begun flapping his little wings, which meant trouble was becoming the new normal. Which is exactly what had happened today…

“Nyx no!” I shouted as he reached for a heavy book on one of the bookshelves, his tiny wings helping him to gain the extra inch or two of ground he needed. 

I grabbed him from underneath his shoulders and brought him into my arms, bouncing him on my hip as his eyes caught the shiny necklace I was wearing. His little hands grabbed at it and I figured it was better than a vase or another heavy book. 

“Just wait till he can actually fly,” Lucien chuckled, coming up behind me.

“That won’t be for quite a while thankfully,” I laugh, bouncing the babe up and down.

“Are you so sure about that? Cassian seems to already be giving him lessons.” he points out. 

“I don’t even want to think about a flying toddler,” I scoff and Lucien chuckles behind me. 

 He pressed a kiss to the top of my head and I could feel his lips curling into a smile.“You’re going to be a great mother one day” he admitted. 

“I’ve always wanted children,” I said and a beat of silence passed until I decided to be bold. “Lu, do you think we could ever have children?” I ask, afraid to turn around and possibly see a wary look on his face.

I felt Lucien’s chuckle reverberate behind me, “Of course, I’ve always been fond of children myself,” he laughed. 

I whipped around with Nyx to search his eyes for a hint of uncertainty, but he seemed happy about the idea, “Really?” I asked in disbelief. 

“Of course,” he assured me. 

“I want a million just like little Nyx here,” I smile looking at the babe in my arms. 

“Minus the wings of course,” Lucien laughs behind me and I pause. 

My entire life I had always pictured my children with wings. Small, delicate little things that I would ‘ooo’ and ‘ahhh’ over.  I remembered seeing the Illyrian children in Windhaven growing up, I was always so happy when mothers would let me hold their babies, their wings so adorably small. I looked forward to having winged children of my own, I always pictured them scaling Azriel when they were little like Nyx, and as they got older I would watch as Az taught them to fly.

“What is it my dear?” Lucien asked, breaking me out of my trance. 

“Oh it’s nothing, it’s just that when I pictured my children I always figured they would have wings,” I say, pressing a kiss to Nyx’s temple. 

As if summoned, Azriel walked in, Rhys and Feyre in tow, signaling that their meeting was over. His eyes flitted to me, no doubt having heard what I had said. Lucien’s hand tightened on my hip.

Feyre’s eyes sparkled at the sight of her son and Rhys eyes sparkled at the sight of Feyre taking their babe from my arms. I reluctantly gave Nyx back, already missing being able to pretend he was my own. 

“He was a little angel,” I report to Feyre.

“If by angel you mean hellion,” Lucien chuckles behind me. 

“I would expect nothing less from a child raised by this family,” Rhys laughed, wrapping one arm around Feyre and brushing a hand against his son’s cherub cheeks. 

A silence rolled over the room as we all watched the little family reunite. I couldn’t help but flit my eyes to Azriel, who looked at them with a grin and a longing in his eyes. His eyes find me and I don’t dare look away. 

“Can we talk?” Azriel asked timidly, taking a step away from the doorway he leaned against. Feyre and Rhys take out of the room, no doubt feeling the change in the atmosphere.  

I searched his eyes for a hint of aggression but all I found was remorse, “Yes we may,” I say quietly.

Lucien releases his grip on my hip as I follow Azriel into Rhysand’s study and close the door behind me with a resolute click signaling that I was locked in here with him. Az takes up residence by Rhys’ desk, leaning against it like some sort of tortured man. I couldn’t help but notice he was still in his fighting leathers, his wings tucked in tight and his knuckles perched over his lips, like he was contemplating what to say. Even now, when he was at his most vulnerable, he was so beautiful. 

“I’m sorry for the way I acted last night. I yelled at you and I shouldn’t have,” he says fidgeting a bit. “Its just… it’s just that I was so pissed when I found him with his hands all over you and you just seemed so happy.” 

He sighs running a hand through his hair staring at the ground, still unable to meet my eyes. 

“I think that’s what bothered me the most,” he continues. “You seemed…happy.”

“You were upset because I was happy?” I scoff furrowing my brows at him, the fucking gall of this male. 

“No, no! Gods y/n,” he corrects me, running his hands down his face clearly upset with himself. “I think I was upset because I wasn’t the one making you happy.” he finally says and I can hear the vulnerability in his voice. 

I’m completely taken back by his words, at the fact that he admitted that he wanted to be the one to make me happy like that. The way Lucien did. It didn’t make any sense, given the fact that he never showed me in the last 400 years. 

“That’s funny coming from a male who’s been complaining to me about the females he’s been in love with for the past 400 years.” I deadpan, crossing my arms. 

“Is that how long you’ve known? 400 years?” he asked me, voice rising a bit. 

I nod, “I knew the night you danced with me on solistance in the Hewn City all those years ago,” I confess. 

“Fuck y/n,” he groans running his hands down his face. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“Because you started panting after Mor and the second you gave up on her in walked Elain!” I shouted, it was the most obvious thing ever as to why I didn’t tell him. 

“You had to know that you were first,” he says, snapping his head up to meet mine, pleading in those hazel eyes. 

I gave him a blank stare not knowing what he was talking about. 

“Please tell me you know you were the first, before Mor, before Elain, I was practically on my knees for you,” he confessed. 

Once again I’m left speechless. Could it be true? That he had wanted me before I even knew about the bond? 

I shook my head, even if it was true he was speaking in past tense. I didn’t want him to be my mate because he felt like he had to be, I wanted him to love me, truly love me. I wanted him to choose me.

“I had no idea,” I admit feeling a bit of shame. “But that doesn’t matter anymore, it’s all in the past. I’m not mad at you Azriel.” 

“Thank the cauldron,” he breathes, crossing the room to cup my face.

I place my  hands on his wrists and pull them away from me, “Az I think that you should be with Elain,” I say, stepping back from him. 

“What? No.” he shakes his head and I take another step back.

“You clearly love her and she loves you, the cauldron made a mistake by making us mates, it's as simple as that,” I say trying to hide my tears.

I loved Az, a part of me always would, but I wouldn’t be his consolation prize just because the cauldron fucked up and made me his mate instead of Elain. I couldn’t live with that. 

“No don’t say that, please don’t say that,” Az pleads, his voice softening. 

“I’m sorry Azriel but I won’t be your consolation prize,” I say before grabbing the door handle and walking out into the living room where Lucien was. 

Azriel goes to say more until he hears the hitch in my breath. There, before me, Lucien is tucking a stray hair out of Elain’s face and placing a kiss on her knuckles. A sweet gesture, one I’ve probably read about a thousand times in my romance novels. Lucien’s eyes flit to mine, and I can honestly say I’ve never seen him so happy. 

“We’re going to give it a shot,” he smiles happily, putting an arm around Elain. 

“Really?” I ask looking to Elain who smiles brightly. 

“Yeah we are,” she says smiling up at Lucien. 

“Oh I’m so happy for you two,” I cheer before engulfing them both in a hug. 

“Congrats you guys,” Azriel mutters from behind me, seemingly abandoning whatever he was going to say to me in favor of praising his friends. 

Lucien chuckles at my excitement, “Don’t get too excited, we’re going to have to move my stuff out of your place today, I think it’s time I move back into the townhouse,” he smiled. 

“Well what are we waiting for? Let’s get started!” I cheer, grabbing his hands to winnow us away. 

In reality I wasn’t excited about the idea of moving, and much less excited about the idea of my little townhouse being empty again. But I needed to get away from Azriel. 

One week later:

After the all day affair of moving Lucien’s accumulated stuff out of my house and in the townhouse I was back to loving alone. Which at first wasn’t terrible. I was content to read my book and cook for myself when necessary. But after about a week I began to miss the food Lucien would make, or having someone to lie next to. It was a strange feeling, it felt like a breakup, but I wasn’t sad. I missed having another heartbeat in the house, not Lucien himself. 

After a week of getting my affairs in order my brother finally asked me for some help and I was thankful for the distraction. All week I had been in my own head about all that had happened, with Lu and Elain, with me and Az. I needed a break to think of something else. 

That’s how I found myself slipping on an old day court dress and getting ready to winnow to see Helion, an old friend of mine. I was leaving the house and locking the door when I ran smack into a large chest I screamed being taken off guard. 

“Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you,” a familiar voice apologized, I turn to find Azriel standing before me. 

“It’s okay, I should’ve been paying more attention,” I chuckle awkwardly. I hadn’t heard from the spymaster in a week, why would he come to talk to me now?    

Azriel’s eyes furrow from where they tower over me, “Why are you dressed for the Day Court?” he inquires. 

“Oh well,” I look down at the swaths of white fabric that cascaded down my body, suddenly feeling a bit exposed from off the shoulder dress. “Rhys wants me to go and schmooze Helion a little bit. Something about wanting to get him to agree to better trade deals.” I laugh remembering how my brother agonized over it the other day. 

“So he wants you to go and flirt with Helion?” Az cocks an eyebrow at me. 

“Well Helion and I go way back, and he’s always been…well keen on me.” I say honestly and I watch as Az bristles just a bit. I can’t even count the number of times the High Lord as tired to get Cassian and I in his bed

“I’ll give Rhys one thing he sure is ruthless,” Azriel chuckles trying to play off his nerves. 

“Is there something I can do for you?” I ask, still wondering why he’s here, at my doorstep. 

“Oh uh, no,” Azriel stutters. “Well actually I was walking by and I saw this and I thought of you.” he says pulling out a white rose. It looked like he had plucked it right off the bush down the street. “I thought you should have it.” he finished. 

I take the rose from his hand and notice that the thorns have all been cut off. I eye Truth Teller strapped at his side and the lingering thorn that was still stuck on its sharp blade. 

“That was very thoughtful of you Az thank you,” I tell him sweetly, taken back by his gesture. 

“You’re welcome,” he says, seemingly relaxing at my acceptance of his gift. 

I check my watch, “Well I really do have to go, Helion is waiting for me,” I wince moving past him on the stairs so I can get past the words my brother has on my place. 

“Yes of course,” Az says following me down the steps and out the wrought iron fence. “Do you need a ride?” 

“I’m okay, I can winnow,” I chuckle, closing the gate behind me. 

“Well I guess I’ll see you later then,” Azriel voices with a hint of a sigh. 

“Yeah I’m sure you will,” I reply before winnowing into Helion’s mansion. 

How could Az be so calm about all this? It was like he was trying to force himself to have feelings for me, figuring he better learn to love me now that he’s shackled to me for eternity. Part of me wondered if Rhys had given him a firm talking to and convinced him to attempt to like me.

“There she is,” Helion mused from the top of the stairs coming down the stairs dressed in his usual attire. Part of me hated that I found him attractive, in another life, if he wasn’t so promiscuous, I might’ve seen myself standing by his side. 

“Helion,” I smile, pulling him in for a hug. 

When we pull away his hands linger at my waist and his eyes look at the rose in my hand. “What’s this?” he asks plucking the rose from my hand. 

I think about the encounter with Azriel, how forced it all felt.

“It’s nothing,” I replied, shrugging my shoulders. 

Helion tosses the flower aside before throwing his arm over my shoulder and leading me inside, “So, your brother has sent you to convince me to agree to his new trade agreements.” he smirks.

“He’s done nothing of the sort, I came to visit an old friend of my own accord,” I tease, knowing Helion isn’t as daft as Rhys makes him out to be. 

“We’ll see about that new treaty after some wine, and tell your brother that next time he wants to use you against me as leverage he should just send you naked,” Helion chuckles. 

I erupt in laughter, slapping his arm as he leads us to a white couch with a bottle of wine sitting on the coffee table. 

Three days later after successfully getting Helion to agree to a new trade treaty I found myself sitting in my living room with a glass of wine enjoying the fruits of my labors. As soon as I told Rhys about the High Lord of Day’s cooperation he sent me one of his finest bottles of wine as a thank you. Not that I required any thanks, I enjoyed spending time with Helion. 

My silence was interrupted by my door opening and closing. I just about jumped out of my skin, the only one who had the key to the place was Lucien and he had given it back a long time ago. My heart pounded as I stood from the couch in my nightgown and robe. I had turned in for the night and certainly wasn’t expecting visitors. I lift my romance novel over my head and step around he couch ready to swing when I see Azriel locking the door behind him quietly. 

“Azriel you scared the hell out of me,” I sigh, lowering the book. 

He turns from the door looking me up and down taking in my casual attire hungrily. “I’m sorry I guess I’m just used to walking right in, I wanted to give you these,” he says holding out a large bouquet of white roses, exactly like the kind he gave me the other day.”

“Thank you Az, they’re beautiful,” I say wearily, taking them from his scarred hands. “I’ll uh- I’ll just put them in water,” I tell him, padding into the kitchen to grab a vase and fill it. 

“I thought since you liked the other one I gave you that you might like those ones too,” he says walking into the kitchen and leaning in my doorway. 

I place the two dozen roses in a vase,“Well I appreciate them, it’s been a while since I’ve had fresh flowers in the house,” I divulge to him, remembering how Lucien used to bring them home all the time. He would always ask for Elain to make him a bouquet, his little way of speaking to her in a way that didn’t make her uncomfortable. The thought had me thinking of how Lucien and Elain were probably sitting at a nice dinner right now, had me questioning why the fuck Azriel was here. 

A silence fills the room as Azriel sits admiring either me or the flowers, from where I’m standing it could be either or. I walk around the kitchen island to test the theory and sure enough his eyes follow me as I lean my back against the side closer to him.  A wave of embarrassment slips over me. Did Rhys ask him to bring more flowers again? Was I really that pathetic? 

“Az why are you doing this?” I ask, gesturing to the flowers behind me. 

Azriel straightens taking a tentative step towards me, “Because I want what Elain and Lucien have. I want you to give me a chance to be a good mate,” he says softly. 

I look to the wooden floors below me, my bare feet messing with a loose floorboard, “You don’t have to do this Azriel. If Rhys sent you I’ll just cover for you and say you came.” I say not daring to look at him. 

“I’m not here because of Rhys, I’m here because I want to see you,” he implored and I heard his feet shuffle closer. 

“I’m still not your consolation prize just because Lucien and Elain are doing well. I won’t do that to myself,” I say, continuing to mess with the loose floorboard. 

“You’re not my consolation prize y/n, you’re my mate.” Azriel states, his voice becoming more urgent causing me to tighten my arms around myself ever so slightly. 

His boots come into my line of sight and suddenly he’s titling my chin up to meet his pleading gaze. I’m suddenly all too aware of how underdressed I was. There was a time when I would’ve killed for this. But now? I won’t let myself be hurt again.

“Y/n please-” 

“Azriel I’m at peace,” I snap, cutting him off and looking down at our feet once again even though his hand still rested under my chin. “For the first time in 400 years I’m at peace. I have loved, and pined, and thrown myself at your feet for 400 years, and I am finally happy in my exile. So forgive me if I’m hesitant to give that up so quickly because you all of the sudden want a mate.” I bit out.

His shadows dance around my hands and I move my fingers out of their grasp, like their cold kiss was burning me.I wait for him to say something back, for him to breathe wrong, yell at me or leave but he doesn’t move. I let my eyes flit up to his, and I find him staring down at me, like he’s been waiting for me to look at him this whole time. 

“I’m not going to give up,” he states, if he was sad or upset by my previous words he doesn’t show it. 

I sigh, tossing my head back, “Az please,” I beg. 

“No I’m serious, I’m not giving up on you, on us,” he maintained steadfastly, his hands not leaving my cheek as he steps even closer to me and my back hits the cool granite behind me. 

“Azriel I think you should go,” I grit out, the second my body stiffens under his he steps back giving me my space. 

“Alright I’ll go,” he says, taking a step back.

I follow him to the door and hold it open as he steps out into the cool night air that has me wrapping my silk robe around me tighter, as if it was helping anything anyways. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he assures me before shooting off into the sky. 

“I really wish you wouldn’t!” I shout into the air after him before slamming the door and locking it. 

I take a deep breath once I’m seated on my couch again, trying to salvage any sort of peace I might still have. But that tranquility was disappearing in my hands the more I chased it. 

The following day I head to Rhys’ house to talk over the new adjustments in the Day Court trade agreements. It was supposed to be easy enough, but as things got more and more complex it ended up being an all day thing. By the time I walked up the steps to my own townhouse I was exhausted and starving. I wasn’t looking forward to bread for dinner as I had no time to go to the market today. 

I kicked open the door and locked it behind me, the smell of fresh tomatoes and basil wafted through the air causing me to pause in my tracks. Was Lucien here? Had him and Elain gotten in a fight or something?

“Ah shit!” I heard a male cuss followed by the searing of liquid on a burner. 

I curiously walk around the corner of the kitchen where I’m greeted with the sight of Azriel, standing in my apron, reading my cookbook and stirring some sort of sauce. His shadows were helping him turn the pages of the book. I see the spilled sauce on the burner that was the cause of his profanity just moments ago. 

“There you are,” he smirked, his eyes flitting up to mine before reading the book again. 

“Az what are you doing here?” I ask, setting my bag down on the table. 

“Making you dinner,” he said, gesturing to the numerous used pans and utensils lying around my once clean kitchen. 

I walk over to inspect what he’s cooking. Fresh herb crusted chicken cooks in the pan next to him while he stirs a red sauce. In the sink is cooked pasta sitting next to freshly sauteed green beans. I inhale the smell of the food deeply and I can’t help but feel myself salivate a little, it smells delicious. 

“You always dog ear the recipes you want to try but you never make them for fear of not liking them,” he says nonchalantly as he prods at the chicken. 

I look down at the cookbook he’s reading, sure enough the recipe he’s making has a bent corner. I had been itching to try it but had never found the time. 

“If you end up not liking it there’s take out from Rita’s in the ice box,” he said using the spoon to point to the ice box in the corner of the room.

I look up to fully inspect him. This all feels like a ridiculous practical joke. If someone had told me that my spymaster would be cooking me dinner I would’ve laughed in their face. Upon further inspection I realize he’s shirtless, save for my apron he’s wearing. 

“Was the half nudity necessary?” I cock an eyebrow leaning against the counter. 

Azriel barked out a laugh, “It took me a while to find the apron, I had gotten tomato juice on my shirt when I started chopping them up for the sauce so I took it off and washed it,” he explained the corner of his mouth turning up in a smirk. “Plus I figured the whole shirtless bit might win me more brownie points with you.” 

I rolled my eyes at his cockiness, I didn’t dare let him know how right he was. 

He laughed at my reaction, “Why don’t you go sit down, dinner’s almost ready.” he said gesturing to the couch. 

I shrugged my shoulders and padded my way over to my favorite reading spot. The one he found me in yesterday. I plop down on the velvet sofa and there in front of me on the coffee table, my book has been left open to the place I bookmarked and a glass of wine sits for me. I raise an eyebrow but decide to just roll with it, I pick up the book and sip on the wine, becoming engrossed with the story.

A few minutes later I feel the cold begin to bite at my toes. I look around for a blanket and see that the nearest one is across the room. I curse at the idea of having to move, but before I can even set my book down one of Azriel’s shadows is scurrying across the room to retrieve the knitted blanket for me. The wisp of darkness arranges the blanket neatly over my legs, tucking me in like a mother would her child.  I can’t help but laugh at the care the little thing is putting into the job. 

Azriel’s shadows looking out for me was nothing new, the second the bond clicked for me they tended to stay near me. Picking up pens and silverware I dropped on the floor and always twirling around my hair and wrists. There were even times they would try to drag Az near me, like on starfall and solstice, nights I looked especially beautiful. But he would always curse and wave them off until they left him alone. 

The little shadow perched itself on my shoulder as if it too wanted to read my book. I could sense it was trying to anticipate any other small need I might have. 

“You know he might be insufferable but you guys are pretty great,” I laugh looking at the curious being. 

In response the shadow boops itself on my nose as if it was giving me a kiss. 

“Don’t tell them that or they’ll get a big head,” Azriel murmurs behind me where he’s leaning against the doorway between the living room and the kitchen, still shirtless and wearing that damned apron.

“In that case I’ll be sure to praise them more often, they’re little angels,” I smile as the tendril of darkness dances around my collar. 

Azriel lets out a small chuckle behind me, “Dinner is ready,” he tells me before disappearing into the kitchen once more. 

I follow him as the small shadow frantically pulls at my wrist towards the table, as if it’s eager for me to see what it helped its master cook. When I walk into the darkened kitchen and find that Az has set the table not only with our dinner but with candles and another bouquet. This time it’s an arrangement of jasmine, no doubt from the florist down the street. 

I sit down and inhale the heavenly scent of the white flowers and hum in delight. Azriel comes in with a bottle of wine and two glasses, pouring us each a bit. He sees me admiring the flowers and smiles. 

“Jasmine, like your perfume,” he says, putting down the bottle and taking his seat next to me. 

I smile and look down at the plate before me. It looks delicious, the pasta is fragrant with basil, the chicken is cooked to perfection and the green beans are vibrant and green. I lift my fork and dig into the past first. The moment it hits my tongue the flavor melts in my mouth, rich, bold and oh so savory. I let out a moan as my eyes flit to Azriel who is watching me expectantly wondering if I’m going to like it or not. 

“This is incredible,” I say, covering my mouth with my hand so he doesn’t see me chewing. 

“Thank the cauldron I thought I put too much red pepper in,” he breathes out, seemingly relaxing before digging into his own plate. 

“No it’s perfect, thank you really,” I say earnestly. 

“You’re welcome,” he smiled, taking a bite of chicken.

We sit and eat our meals in silence simply enjoying the good food. A little shadow flitted up in front of my face to gauge my reaction to the bite of chicken I was chewing. I couldn’t help but laugh as it shifted like it was cocking its head at me. 

“Yes it’s very good, you did a wonderful job,” I laugh at the little fella. 

My giggle brings Azriel’s attention to me once again and before I know it he���s waving his hand at the little tendril like he’s swatting a fly. 

“Hey go away let her eat for the love of god,” he chastises as the shadow slinks back behind him. 

“Don’t worry it wasn’t bothering me,” I laugh taking another bite of green beans. 

“Yeah well they haven’t been listening lately,” he says looking back at the little shadow that had slinked behind his shoulder like a reprimanded child. 

I shake my head at the two of them interacting and take another sip of wine. To be honest I wasn;t really sure what to say to Azriel. Despite his valiant efforts to win me I still wasn’t ready to abandon the peace I had grown so fond of. 

“You know it’s funny,” he tells me, playing with the food on his plate. “I feel like my shadows have always liked you. It was like they knew before I did,” he laughed nervously at his confession. 

“Maybe so,” I shrug, not wanting to broach the subject, the friendlier we could make this the better.

“I can remember times when they would drag me into any room that had you in it. Most of the time I control them, but when it comes to you? They control me.” he laughs while taking a sip of his wine. 

“Thank you again for dinner,” I say, forcibly changing the topic of conversation. “It’s been a while since I had a home cooked meal. I think the local restaurants have my to-go orders memorized now.” I laugh. 

“Lucein used to cook for you didn’t he?” Azriel asks, and I can feel his eyes burning into the side of my head as I play with the pasta on my plate. 

“Yeah he did, he was a surprisingly good cook too,” I say, recalling the traditional Autumn Court meals he would cook all the time. They were mostly for him, for when he was feeling nostalgic, but he always left some for me as well. 

Azriel sits for a moment as if debating whether or not to say something for a moment. “Did you love him?” he asks. 

My fork clatters to the plate at the abrupt question and I’ve never felt so put on the spot. It was never something I had thought about in regards to the autumn court male. Love seemed like an emotion  that would be reserved for Azriel and Azriel alone, until one day it wasn’t. I didn’t love Lucien, but I certainly stopped loving Az in that way, or at least I think I did.

“No I didn’t” I say honestly turning to meet the shadowsingers gaze. “Lucien and I… it was never like that. We both knew what we needed for each other, it started as just sex. But then he would stay the night, and then we started going to breakfast. His shirts started showing up in the laundry hamper, his books on the coffee table. Eventually I just gave him a key, it seemed like the logical thing to do. We didn’t even label our relationship until he asked me to marry him.” 

“I wasn’t sure,” Azriel said, going back to shyly staring down at the table. “I overheard your conversation that one day. When you asked him about the possibility of having children. You said that you always pictured your children having wings, was that true?” he inquired. 

I nod shallowly, unable to trust my own words in such a raw moment. 

If Az had any other questions he didn’t ask them or press me to talk about the two of us, it was as if he was happy with the answers I did give him. He was perfectly content to let me finish eating my meal in comfortable silence. When I was finished he cleared the table and didn’t let me lift a finger to help clean. Instead those pesky shadows cornered me into reading my book once more. 

It wasn’t until a few minutes later that he came in, dressed in his shirt once more to bid me goodnight. He insisted that I stay in my comfortable spot by the couch as he walked himself out locking the door behind him. As the comfortable silence, which I had grown so used to, ensued, I found myself silently wishing he had stayed just a little longer.

The following weeks were spent with little visits from shadows and shadowsingers. Sometimes it would be Azriel showing up at my door with coffee or gifts. Other times, when Rhys had Azriel on missions he would find ways to leave things at my doorstep. The first time it was another bouquet of flowers and then chocolates. 

My favorite gift from Azriel had been the books. The first set he got me was the second and third book in my series. They appeared at my door the morning after he made me dinner with a note that read…

I noticed that you were almost done with your book last night so I went out to get you the second book. I noticed it was a short book so I got you the third in case you finished it in one day like you no doubt will. 

-Azriel

Of course he was right and I finished the second book by the end of the day. When I opened the third, and much longer book, to begin reading it a bookmark fell out and another note. 

I figured you might need a bookmark for this one.

-Azriel

He was right about that as well. 

The next book to be delivered was a classic romance with certain pages, and quotes underlined. His notes scribbled in the margins. Clearly he had taken the time to read the novel himself. When I saw the first annotation I expected his further notes to be corny or cheesy, but each one was well thought out. 

The most recent literally delivery was a small and short book about different types of flowers. Between each of the pages sat a live flower that corresponded with the page. It was possibly the most vibrant and beautiful bouquet I had ever seen and by far my favorite floral gift I had received. 

This week though things had been different. As the colder months were drifting in I started spending more time inside, reading by the fire. But not once had Azriel stopped by. Not a present, not a note to be found. When I subtly asked Rhys were the shadowsinger was he told me he was in the isle of Hybern. 

A week had come and gone without so much as a tendril of a shadow to be seen. I sat infront of my roaring fire with a book in hand trying to escape the bitter cold. Outside the first snowfall of the year had taken the form of a blizzard. I pitied the shopkeepers that would have to walk home in it. 

Around midnight I heard the scraping of metal against stone from outside my house. I jumped out of my skin and quickly looked at the clock noting the late hour. I set down my novel to wrap myself in a blanket and pad over to the front door. I could already hear the winds outside and feel the cold air seeping in through the cracks in the door. 

I open the door to investigate the strange sound and I nearly gasp when I find Azriel outside my house shoveling my walkway with a small shovel from my garden. One meant for digging out plants and trees, not snow. 

“Az what are you doing?” I ask, making the spymaster jump a bit. 

“I’m shoveling your walkway. I didn’t want you to slip tomorrow morning or hurt your back trying to shovel it yourself,” he said, digging into the snow again with the little metal shovel. 

“Oh Az you don’t have to do that,” I coo walking out into the cold pulling my blanket tighter. 

“I don’t have to but I want to,” he said shoveling more snow. “It wouldn’t take so long if I had a bigger shovel.” he grunts, frustrated.

“Well why didn’t you take Rhys’ shovel?” I laughed watching as the overgrown Illyrain tried to mangle the tiny thing. 

“Well I just got back from Hybern, I saw it had snowed and I came here first.” he explained and my heart swelled. He had come to my place first before he even went home. “I figured if I didn’t do it you would fall and break your head open.” 

“Azriel, really you don’t have to do this, I can handle it,” I plead with him feeling bad that he’s subjected himself to the weather. 

He stops his shoveling and turns to look at me, “y/n I want to do this. Don’t worry about it.” he says before looking me up in down seeing that I’m in nothing but a short nightgown and a blanket. “Now go inside before you catch a cold.” 

“Me? What about you?” I laugh looking around at the snow falling around us. 

“I’m Illyrian the snow doesn’t bother me,” he retorts and I can tell that he’s lying by the pink in his cheeks from the cold.

“Well I’m half Illyrian,” I counter, swinging back and forth on my heels. 

“Then I’m sure half of you is really cold,” he rebuttals. “Now go back inside and get warm before I carry you inside myself.” he smirks before shoveling up another heap of snow. 

I just shake my head and retreat to the warm fireplace awaiting me. 

I waltz into the House of Wind  where the Solstice party is in full swing. Lords from neighboring courts are chatting and drinking all around and from the corner of the room I can hear Cassian’s booming laugher as he doubles over at something Helion has said. 

Like almost every solstice party I arrive fashionably late. I truly never mean to be the last to arrive, but it feels like the whole guest list decides to arrive early just to spite me. I make my way around the area where couples and children are dancing to a small quartet and head toward the bar. My dress billows behind me like liquid starlight. Just like every solstice party before this one, I will get by with copious amounts of wine. 

I lean against the bar and watch as Elain and Lucien laugh and giggle across the room. I smile as Elain pops a pastry into Lu’s mouth and I can’t help but feel a warmness in my chest at the two of them. Lucien was finally happy with his mate, and if there was ever someone who deserved such happiness it was him. 

My thoughts are interrupted by a shadowy friend making its presence known. Flying up by my face to say hello and then rushing behind me as if it was called. I turn to see Azriel dressed immaculately staring at me. His eyes flit up and down my body taking in every detail of me.

“You look…” He trails off, shaking his head, as if the words he was going to say wouldn’t be the right ones. “There are no words. Even the poets would get it wrong.”

I can’t help but blush at his choice of words, taking a step toward him as the shadows behind me are pushing me to do so. 

“You clean up pretty good yourself, spymaster,” I chuckle giving him a once over.

He blushes and then speaks again, “I mean it, you look beautiful tonight y/n.” 

I blush again and turn my head to avoid his gaze, like that shade of hazel might burn me from the inside out if I look too long.

“You must allow me to dance with you,” he says, taking both our drinks and placing them on the bar. “Not having you out on that dance floor would be a disservice to everyone here.”

I laugh taking his outstretched hand and allowing him to lead me to the dancefloor, “Alright Az you’ve convinced me, but only because I know you won’t step on my feet,” 

We fall into a comfortable motion, swaying back and forth to the slow tempoed song the quartet is playing. The couples around us filter around us, some lost in deep conversation, some embraced closely swaying to the song. I keep my eyes on them, knowing that Azriel’s gaze is on me. 

Memories of a solstice much like this one float through my mind. The way my feet ached before Azriel saved me, sweeping me up into a dance. The way the bond felt when it snapped into place for me. I had pulled on it so desperately hoping he might feel it too. I thought of all the years of agony that followed that night. Watching Az fall for Mor and later on Elain. Hearing my brother and Cassian talking about Azriel’s exploits in bedding local women. All of it tore me apart and it took over 200 years to rebuild the part of me that I had lost. I wondered if I would ever be whole like that again. 

I hear Elain and Lucien’s laughter once more, the sound breaking me from my thoughts as Azriel and I continue to sway to the music. 

“They make a great couple,” Azriel’s deep voice rumbles through me. 

I smile watching Lucine place a kiss to his mates lips, “They really do,” I say with a lightness to my voice. 

“Do you think we’ll ever be like that?” He asks tentatively and my world comes crashing down. 

“Az,” I say and his face falls at the dismissal in my tone. 

“Why not y/n? Why can’t we have a shot like they can?” Azriel says starting to get upset.

As if on queue the song that the quartet is playing ends and I hear the musicians flipping through their sheet music to find the next song. I pull my hands out of Azriel’s and take a few steps back.

“I think it’s time for me to go,” I say calmly, trying not to let the damn of tears break. I swiftly move past him towards the door. 

“Y/n wait!” I hear him call out behind me but I’m already out the door, my tears falling down my face as I make my way back to that empty townhouse in the middle of the city. 

The rain outside my house slams into the window violently. Spring has come early in Velaris and I wasn’t exactly upset about it. At least I wasn’t until this torrential downpour blew into town. I hadn’t seen rain like this in the Night Court for at least a hundred years now.

It’s been weeks since solstice and it seems that Azriel has finally taken the hint and left me alone. I hadn’t heard a peep from him since that dance. Not a flower, chocolate or shadow to be seen and while I should be happy about it I had never been sadder. After all the walls I put up trying to keep my peace it seemed that he had succeeded in breaking them down again. 

I sat by the fire staring down at the dancing flames, no book, not even a glass of wine or tea. Just me and my all consuming thoughts. Each one of them led back to hazel eyes and blue siphons. 

I jump at the sound of a fist pounding on my door. Pulling my sweater tighter to cover up my nightgown I walk over to investigate who would have the guts to stand out in this monsoon at this hour. When I open the door I find Azriel bracing his arms against the doorframe, out of breath like he ran here. His hair soaking wet and sticking to his brow as the rain pelted him. 

“Az?” I shout over the sound of rain. 

“I can’t go on like this any longer y/n, I won’t do it!” he shouts over the storm. 

“Az it’s pouring what are you-” 

“I love you y/n!” he shouts stopping me mid sentence. “From the moment I met you I knew. I wanted so badly to put my hands around your waist and kiss you. And if you’re wondering why that seems like such an adolescent dream it’s because that’s what we both were. I was 117 years old and  you were 115 and that’s all I wanted. I knew little of love, even less of lust. All I knew was that I wanted to kiss you,” he hollers over the sound of rain wiping the water from his eyes.

“I’ve made mistakes, and I’ve hurt you, but I swear to you I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you, because I love you. And I don’t care that you don’t love me too, because I love you y/n. I choose to love you!” he finishes and I can’t tell if it's rain falling from his eyes or tears that match my own. 

I choose to love you.

I take a shaky breath and take in the sheer desperation on his face, “I love you too Azriel,” I laugh feeling another tear slip down my cheek. 

He doesn’t waste a moment, stepping through my threshold and cupping my cheek to place a searing kiss on my lips. I melt into him, feeling his clothes soaking my own as my nightgown clings to my skin. His hands are on my waist, scarred and cold from the elements but still so intoxicating. My arms wrap around him pulling him further into the entryway. I hear him slam the door shut with his boot drowning out the sound of rain leaving only the music of our ragged breaths as he kisses me deeper. 

He pulls away to press his forehead to mine, his wet hair and skin causing drops of water to cascade down my own face. 

“I love you so much,” he breathes cupping my cheek to press a chaste kiss to my lips. “My mate.”

I pull him in deeper at the utterance of those two little words. I had waited 400 years for this male to kiss me, and this kiss right here? Well it made everything all the more worth it. 

Epilogue: 5 years later

I stand outside on the lawn of the townhouse. My arms clutching around the sweater I’m wearing as the fresh spring air blows over my skin. My hands drift lower to the small bump of my stomach. 

I was only a few months pregnant and barely starting to show. Elain had told me that it would be a girl claiming she had seen it in a vision. I couldn’t have been more excited for Azriel to be a girl dad. 

“You’re doing it son!” I hear my mate call from the sky where he teaches our son to fly. 

“Dad, I'm flying!” the onyx haired child shouted as he flapped his wings to pick up some speed.

At first I was apprehensive of him learning to fly so early, even though it had always been a dream of mine to watch my children learn to fly. But Azriel had assured me that the youngster was more than ready, and after a few weeks of lessons here he was taking to the air like a natural. 

I look around at the townhouse behind me. It had seen some significant changes since the night Azriel stood in the rain and told me he loved me. The front yard was littered with toy swords and shields, and the outside had a fresh coat of paint. The inside had a room addition, a room for our son, Kai, and now we're adding another room for our daughter. All paid for by Rhys of course who was more than happy to give his nephew and niece everything under the sun.

My thoughts are interrupted by Azriel slamming into the ground before me. I turn to see him walking over to me with a smile on his face. 

“Az shouldn’t you be up there with him?!” I fuss looking to where our son swoops and dives through the air. 

Azriel laughs and picks me up bridal style, pressing a kiss to my lips. 

“It didn’t feel right being up there without my girls,” he smiled nodding to my bump. 

Without warning he took off into the sky meeting Kai up there. We must’ve spent hours flying around the city, stopping by every uncle and aunt's house to show them Kai’s new skill. Everything was perfect, and for the first time in my whole life, I finally knew peace.

(Do you guys want a smutty bonus chapter of what they did after he confessed his love???)

Permanent Taglist: @fides25, @dissociated-always @crystalferret202, @batboyrhyrhy , @kennedy-brooke , @sunshineangel-reads , @lilah-asteria ,  @evergreenlark

Taglist: @thatgirlangelb , @melmo567 , @hanatsuki-hime  , @going-through-shit , @sirenpearldust , @randomperson1234sblog , @sunshineangel-reads , @cleverzonkwombatsludge  , @sassybluebird , @dyingsinglecuzimfangirl , @deeshag , @0nlystellaa , @annaaaaa88 , @olive-main , @mirandasidefics , @bookishbroadwaybish , @darlingbravebelle , @phoenix666stuff , @lotusnegra , @lovelypru, @hailqueenconquer , @hardcoremarvelfan , @fantasyandshit , @acourtofbooksandinsanity ,  @batboyrhyrhy , @historygeekqueen , @slytherintaco , @saltedcoffeescotch , @azrael-22 , @sidthedollface2 , @thestartitaness , @crazylokonugget , @quinzzelx

[lostdreamr-blog1]

Pinky Promise 4

Word count: 1.7K

Pairings: Jake Seresin X Reader

A/N: Round 4 of Pink Promise! Part 5 is in the works now! Thanks for reading!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

When Jake received the text, “Want to get drunk tonight?” on a Wednesday, a heavy feeling settled in his stomach. Something must have happened. He leaned against the cool countertop of his kitchen, weighing his options. The last time he saw you, time had slipped away unnoticed, and now it had been over a week. He fired back a quick reply, “Name the place and I’ll be there.”

He showered and changed out of his work clothes, heart racing as he waited for your next message. He hoped he could talk you down from whatever ledge you were teetering on and still make it home at a reasonable hour.

Jake drove to the small bar on the outskirts of town, a spot you chose to avoid running into other pilots. You didn’t dislike them; you just didn’t want to put on a show for Bradley’s sake. As he stepped inside, he spotted you immediately, alone at the bar. Your profile told a story that made him stop in his tracks. The dark circles under your eyes and the way your hair lost its usual shine spoke volumes. But it was your defeated posture that cut him the deepest—your shoulders hunched as if you were trying to disappear.

A sigh escaped his lips as he chastised himself for not checking on you sooner. He slid onto the stool next to you. “Hey, darlin’. Sorry if I made you wait.”

You looked up, a flicker of light returning to your eyes. “I haven’t been here long. How was work?”

“Same as always. Your brother has been more moody than usual,” he replied, signaling the bartender for a water.

You chuckled softly. “Natasha turned him down. He’s not taking it too well.”

Jake raised an eyebrow, surprised. He hadn’t known Bradley was interested. “Did he say why?”

“She gave him some excuse about not wanting to mix work with pleasure or some bullshit like that. He deserves better anyway.”

A comfortable silence settled between you for a few moments before you broke it with an unexpected question. “You ever think, ‘Man, I suck’?” You took a long sip of your drink, completely unfazed by Jake’s water.

He smirked. “Not particularly. I know I’m one of the best, so there’s not much room for doubt.”

You rolled your eyes. “That was such a bagman answer.”

Jake chuckled, but his expression turned serious. “I do have days I question why I’m still doing this. I love flying, but the risks are starting to feel bigger than the rewards.” He leaned back, hoping his honesty would coax you into sharing what was weighing you down.

When you finished your drink, he leaned closer. “What’s going on? It’s been a while since you’ve been out during the week.”

You turned your gaze to the empty glass, avoiding his eyes. “You’d be surprised how many times I drink during the week. But I think I’ve realized recently that I’m not built for med school.”

Alarm bells rang in Jake’s mind. “We’ll talk about the drinking in a minute. What’s happening with school? I thought things were going well.”

You signaled the bartender for another drink, and Jake slid his water toward you. “It’s not what I thought it would be. I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s just… not something I enjoy.”

Before you could reach for your new drink, Jake intercepted it. “Let me guess: instead of asking for help, you decided drinking was the better option?”

You nodded, your defenses slipping away. Why be responsible when it was easier to forget?

He sighed, “Did I ever tell you how much I hated flight school?” you shook your head, prompting him to continue. “I was excited to be a pilot. It’s been my dream for as long as I can remember. But when I got into the schooling side of it, I was crushed. I nearly quit a few times, but I told myself to push through. I kept thinking the freedom to enjoy what I love would be waiting on the other side.”

You slowly nodded your head at his admission. “I made the mistake of telling Bradley I hated it a few weeks back. He didn’t give me any fuzzy words of encouragement.” Jake clenched his fists, anger simmering at Bradley’s judgment. He knew how much your brother’s words affected you, no matter how much you tried to brush them off.

“Listen, sweetheart. I know you love your brother, but when stuff like this comes up, you need to reach out to me. I will never be too busy for you. I pinky promise.” He extended his pinky, a hopeful smile breaking through your somber expression.

“One of my greatest achievements will be having a big bad Top Gun pilot pinky-promise me,” you said, hooking your pinky with his and squeezing it lightly.

For another half-hour, you both sat at the bar, laughter mingling with the bittersweet confessions. When Jake finally stood to leave, he insisted, “I’m driving you home. It’s dark out, and I’d rather not take any chances.”

You opened your mouth to argue but quickly realized it was futile. With a resigned nod, you followed him outside. The night air was cool, but Jake’s presence felt like a warm shield against the world.

He opened the truck door for you, a small gesture that sent a ripple of warmth through your chest. As he gently closed it once you were inside, the moment felt almost too perfect, like a scene from one of those old movies that made you cringe. And that’s when your thoughts began to spiral.

You wanted to convince yourself that your troubles began and ended with school, but deep down, another darkness gnawed at you. It all felt so blissfully normal during your last study session at Jake’s apartment. The aroma of his homemade pasta mingled with the faint sound of an old movie playing in the background—one you secretly loathed, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. You sat there on the couch, sharing bites and laughter, and thought, “Damn. If only I could have this every day.”

That’s when the drinks had returned, and the recluse lifestyle set back in.

Falling for Jake wasn’t supposed to be on your radar. He was everything your brother loathed—everything you thought you shouldn’t want. With his polished career and a social life that sparkled with ease, he seemed to glide through life. You, on the other hand, felt like you were sinking, caught in a riptide of your own insecurities.

As Jake parked and walked you to your door, you couldn’t help but admire yet another annoyingly perfect trait of his—how he always walked you to the door, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

“You’ve been awfully quiet this whole ride here. You sure you’re okay?” His voice was low and laced with concern. He glanced down, catching the way your fingers nervously toyed with the hem of your shirt.

You hesitated, torn between the urge to unload the weight of your heart and the instinct to keep it all bottled up. “Just… a lot on my mind,” you finally admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Want to talk about it?” His eyes searched yours, and in that moment, you felt the walls you’d built around yourself begin to crack, revealing the tangled mess of emotions you’d been trying so hard to suppress.

You looked away, the cool night air brushing against your skin, and realized that perhaps, just maybe, letting him in could be the first step toward something beautiful—or the beginning of yet another spiral.

The mature thing to do would be to lay it all out there, to let him in on the storm brewing inside your head. But maturity had never been your strong suit. “I think it’s a conversation for another night,” you said, forcing the words out as you unlocked the door and stepped inside. You turned to find Jake’s gaze heavy with concern, and your heart sank a little.

“I promise I’m fine, and it’s nothing.” You flashed a small smile, but it faltered under the weight of his skepticism.

“And when I leave here, are you just going to ignore me and slip back into that shell you’ve been hiding in?” He crossed his arms, leaning against the doorframe, exuding a mix of frustration and genuine worry.

You felt the familiar urge to run, to dodge the uncomfortable truth. You’d always sidestepped conflicts, always preferred to sweep emotions under the rug. But before you could catch yourself, the words spilled out. “I think I’m falling for you.”

It was the kind of confession that felt like a punch to the gut, and before you could process the fallout, you slammed the door in his face.

Silence filled the space, thick and suffocating. You leaned against the door, heart racing, half-expecting him to knock again or shout something—anything. But the only sound was your own breathing, rapid and shallow. What had you just done?

You were spiraling again, your mind racing through all the ways this could end badly. You pictured Jake standing there, processing your words, his expression shifting from surprise to hurt.

Why did you always have to make things so complicated?

After a moment, you heard a soft knock. Your heart thudded in your chest. “Hey,” Jake’s voice came through the wood, calm but tinged with confusion. “Can we talk about this? Please?”

You hesitated, grappling with the tumult of emotions. Part of you wanted to open the door and let him in, to unravel everything you’d kept bottled up. But another part, the one that had always chosen the path of least resistance, screamed at you to keep it shut.

What if you had just ruined everything?

A/N: Somehow this turned into a mini series...thoughts? Do we think Jake will feel the same? Part 5 in the works :) Thanks for reading!!

Tag List: @rosiahills22 @sunlitsunflowers @dempy @mamaskillerqueen @luckyladycreator2 @atarmychick007 @my-soulmate-is-mycroft @topguncultleader @alilstressyandlotdepressy @avengers-fixation @chaoticcassidy @alldaysdreamers, @hotch-meeeeeuppppp, @mrsevans90, @spidey-d00d, @rororo06, @lilstarfish88, @jasmine-in-the-night,

[thehauntedetheral]

If it’s not too much trouble how about a yandere firefighter. I really like what you write and your ideas are amazing. I hope you take care of yourself and have a great day.

Yan Firefighter x Reader

Requests are open !

• A regular day in your boring office. only the fact that you and your bestfriend were doing your favourite thing to do in this office which is well, your office is right beside fire station filled with handsome strong mens. And everyday during lunch time or in between time most of the ladies including you and your bestfriend would come by the glass wall to look at this handsome, muscular strong mens practicing, exercising and doing their work. What? After all i am just a girl 🎀

"Hey y/n I am thinking of lightning this office to fire just to get carried in the arms of this beauties." Your bestfriend said.

"It's a good idea but no." You said while wishing to do same. You knew your bestfriend was always the joking, chill person.

• Your break got over and you went to your cubicle doing the old boring work. When out of nowhere you smelled like something burning and a second later the fire alarm of office started screaming and water droplets started to spread all over the place.

You looked at your bestfriend and screamed "I told you to not do it."

Your bestfriend replied back screaming "I swear to god I didn't do it". But you didn't believe it.

"We will argue later first let's get out of this place before we get real cooked" your bestfriend screamed at top of her lungs making a point.

You both started running towards exit. Thankfully the fire station was just beside your office. So hoses of water, fire extinguishers and firemens were already at your office saving people.

You were running when your leg sprained out making you moan in pain. God not now! You thought. Due to sprain you weren't able to walk fast but did your best. You looked out for your bestfriend but in the running crowd it was impossible to find someone. Am I gonna die here today? You thought.

• No baby you can't die until yan Firefighter is alive. He won't let anything happen to you. EVER.

• As you and your friend has always been looking at them through glass wall admiring them. The same way yan has been looking for you for quite some time only he is more discreet.

• This man is obsessed with you.

• He watches you whenever he gets any chance.

• Always does his best while doing training and exercise because he knows that you are watching through that glass wall.

• Always tries to overdo everyone as he doesn't want anyone else doing the best and getting your attention. He wants your attention only on him.

As soon as he gets to know your office got caught on fire. He is furious thinking about your safety.

Starts Running the fatest to get you and make sure you are alright.

Searches for you all over the office when his eyes finally lands on you.

As soon as he sees you he just lifts you in his arms bridal style without any thinking carrying you out side finally feeling relieved that you are safe.

You are in his arms. Just feeling you in his arms makes him smile like crazy.

You feel safe in his strong large arms. Soon you are out of the building your bestfriend running towards you "God I was so scared when I didn't found you outside with me. Thank God you are safe." Your friend all serious which she rarely is in life.

Yan Firefighter places you on your feet even if he doesn't want to and just wants to feel you in his arms.

You thanked him for saving you while he just said "just doing my duty, mam" while looking at you with heart eyes.

"I have to say you were looking so good in his arms you two should probably date" your bestfriend said chuckling again going to her casual self back after fussing over you.

You want to punch her in face for saying this comment as you are red as Tomato now and you could feel that the firefighter who saved you would be embarassed too only to find out upon looking at him he was blushing like crazy upon hearing the sentence. While your bestfriend enjoyed the free show you were providing for her.

To clear the awkwardness yan Firefighter clears his throat and says "I should move back to see if anyone needs my help even though almost everyone are out".

You just nodded at him still a bit red. Definitely from fire not from the earlier sentence you said to yourself.

Yan Firefighter started to move back before turning back to look at you and say " By the way after work would you like to go on a date with me y/n?" He asked a bit shy and scared of rejection.

"Yes. Sure after all you saved my life" you said smiling making him smile and run towards his team.

Seems like you wouldn't have to punch your bestfriend after all. Atleast this fire did something good to you.

"y/n please make me maid of honor in your wedding after all i set you two up" your bestfriend said jokingly while you bump your shoulder with her. Smiling like crazy waiting for your date tonight.

Requests are open!

For more yandere reading :

[astars-things]

omg jack would have a daughter who is so shy and quiet and just clings to jack and everyone is so quick to notice how soft he is toward her, maybe she was before covid so none of his friends has really seen much interaction between them and are very surprised

Jack Hughes x Daughter!reader 

The drive to the lake house was quiet, save for the hum of the engine and the occasional rustle of Y/N turning the pages of her picture book. I glanced in the rearview mirror, watching her small frame bundled up in her car seat, completely absorbed in the vibrant illustrations. Her world was a cocoon of safety and quiet. 

Y/N was born just a few months before the pandemic hit, and as the world shut down, our lives cocooned together. Her mother and I parted ways shortly after her birth, and since then, it had been just the two of us. I had gotten used to her soft-spoken nature, the way she’d cling to my leg when meeting new people, her whispers only meant for my ears. 

Arriving at the lake house brought a wave of nostalgia. This place had been our summer retreat since I was a kid. Now, it would be the backdrop for Y/N’s first real foray into the larger world of my friends and family. I parked the car and turned to face her. “Ready to meet Uncle Quinn and everyone else?” I asked, trying to mask my own apprehension. She nodded, her big eyes wide with curiosity and a hint of nervousness

Quinn was the first to greet us, his surprise evident when he saw Y/N shyly peeking from behind my legs. “Jack, hey! And this must be Y/N,” he said, crouching to her level. She pressed closer to me, her little hand gripping my jeans. “It’s okay, sweetheart,” I murmured, lifting her into my arms. “This is Uncle Quinn. He’s really nice, I promise.”

Over the next few days, the house filled with laughter and noise as more friends arrived. Each one of them took turns trying to engage with Y/N, but she’d always retreat to the safety of my arms or hide behind me. The guys seemed taken aback by how gentle and patient I was with her, a side of me they weren’t used to seeing.

“Man, Jack, you’ve really got the dad thing down,” Trevor remarked one evening as we sat by the fire pit. Y/N was nestled in my lap, her head resting against my chest as she dozed off. “I’ve never seen you like this. It’s kind of incredible.”

I smiled, looking down at my sleeping daughter. “She’s my world, Trev. Everything I do is for her. It’s different, but it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Y/N began to open up, little by little. She’d sit by the water’s edge with Quinn, watching him skip stones, or quietly hand over her stuffed bunny for Luke to play with. My friends were patient, giving her space while gently encouraging her to join in.

One afternoon, as the sun dipped low, we all gathered for a barbecue. Y/N, to everyone’s surprise, walked over to Trevor and handed him a flower she had picked. “For you,” she whispered, her voice barely audible over the crackling fire. Trevor’s eyes widened, and he accepted the flower with a beaming smile. “Thank you, Y/N. This is beautiful.”

[zweig-eater]

MESSY LOVE patrick zweig

you stared at him blankly as he rambled out some other excuse for his behavior. you had been fighting too long, and you were numbed and tired of it all. your head hurt and your heart was aching. after all this time, still nothing had been accomplished. patrick still believed he was in the right and he was even going to great lengths to make you believe that as well.

“you know, you are actually being quite selfish” he said, and that one line caught your attention back.

“how fucking dare you patrick… you are un-fucking believable.” you spit back at him with tears stinging the waterline of your eyes. you continued, only fueled by the hurt settling in your chest. “i’m selfish? for wanting to be more then some fuck buddy you use to get off?” your words felt like daggers as his gaze dropped. “i’m selfish? for thinking we could be something real? for holding you to promises you have made?”

as you laid into him, your head was pounding, eyes burning, and your body just felt entirely weakened. this was all getting to you, and you just wanted to sink into some sort of comfort and be safe for the night.

“can't you see how bad you're hurting me?” you asked, almost desperately, as a tear finally fell from your eye; and you sat, collapsing down on your bed, giving into the exhaustion this fight had forced you into.

and just like that patrick was on you. his feet moved so swiftly you hardly noticed before he was kneeling right in front of you. his hand reached up to your cheek and held the side of your face, fingers hooking around to the back of your neck and stabilizing you.

“hey, hey, look at me… im right here. i’m sorry baby, i’m so sorry” he pleaded with you. his rigid and cocky exterior cracking and falling immediately at the clear sign of you in pain. he was kneeling in front of you, sitting between your knees hanging off the bed. his free hand wrapped around the back of your calf, sweetly stroking it.

you grabbed at his shoulders, fisting his shirt, both pushing him away and pulling him in. even you weren't sure where or how close you wanted him. on one hand, he was the only person who you wanted comforting you right now. but on the other hand, he was the reason you were in this state in the first place.

“n-no, no youre not” you refuted with tears streaming profusely now. “you’re not sorry pat, you don't even ca-”

“y/n i'm in love with you” he cut you off before you could finish whatever you were trying to say. before you could continue thinking any longer that you werent the most important thing in his life. you were, and he knew that. and it scared him. he was never the type to fall in love, or to trust, or to be entirely vulnerable with someone. but you brought it out of him, and he was done running from that feeling.

your eyes met his, widening at his confession. you were staring at him, your mouth slightly agape as your fuzzy brain wrecked itself to try and wrap around what he had just said.

“you're the best thing that has ever happened to me. and i'm an idiot for letting you spend even a minute not knowing that” his hands settled around your waist, arms resting on the bed. his fingers lightly traced your lower back and lulled you ever so closer to him. “you have set every inch of my being on fire and i refuse to imagine living a day of my life without you. i’ve never been in love, and it terrifies me.. i’m scared of what i might do to ruin this, or how i might make you hate me. but i know now that i’m willing to risk it. i’m so ready to learn all the beautiful and messy aspects of true devotion with you. because you are worth it. god, y/n, you are worth fighting any amount of fear or pain for.” he finished, eyes welling with water himself now.

you stayed silent. you let every word he said soak into your skin, then your muscles, then your heart. gently, your hands raised, one resting in the crook of his neck, the other finding his curls. together they guided his face up and towards yours. He watched you so closely, as he let you move him into you. his lips quivered with longing as they inched closer to yours. a faint tearful sigh escaped his lips just as they latched onto yours.

his hands gripped you with the force of a man clinging to a life support, yet still with the gentleness of you being a delicate porcelain doll. the kiss held so much passion you thought you might both catch on fire. burning with love and the need for the other to feel how important they were. your tongues swirled together as if trying to get infinitely closer to the other. as you pulled away, both your cheeks stained with tears, patricks lips quirked up into a smile for the first time all night.

“you’re an asshole” you told him, gently pushing his shoulder and grinning dumbly at him. his eyes gleamed at you, so full of love, his pupils were blown out and everything. “why couldnt you just say that before we wasted all night arguing?” you asked, giggling and hooking your hands under his arms, tugging him lightly to join you on the bed.

“where’s the fun in that?” he quipped back sarcastically as he crawled onto the bed and hovered above you, pushing you on your back. “you’re so beautiful” he whispered, dazing at you, like you had never seen before. “i’m so sorry baby, i shouldn't have argued… let me make it up to you” he smirked as his head dipped down and planted a sweet but wet kiss on your neck.

as his head lifted and eyes locked back onto yours. you swallowed any fear left in your throat and returned his confession with how you truly felt about him. “i love you pat,” you told him. the words sounded so sweet he needed his lips back onto yours to taste them.

“i love you baby, so much” was the last thing he said before he kissed you again, this time with a new level of tenderness.

[mylifesjustacarousel]

hook’s secret

pairing: james hook x gn!reader (requested!)

summary: you and hook are on a date, just like every other week, but something happens when you suggest that you two take a swim

type: fluff, then angst, then fluff again

CW: panic attack

WC: 1K

“I’m telling you, James, strawberries are way better than cherries. Here, try one.” you picked up one of the chocolate covered strawberries that you had made, holding it up to his lips. The two of you were on a picnic, one of the many activities that you frequently did on your date nights. “I can’t believe you’ve never had a strawberry before, take a bite!”

He hesitated before taking a bite, his eyes instantly lighting up, “That’s what a strawberry tastes like? That’s delicious, darling.” He grabbed another strawberry, finishing it in the blink of an eye. “Slow down, love, I made those for us to share,” you teased. “If you kiss me, I’m sure that you can still taste them.” Hook puckered his lips, leaning in towards you. Rolling your eyes, you complied, giving him a quick peck on the lips.

“What was that, y/n? Someone with no mouth could kiss longer than that!” he teased before leaning in with puckered lips again. You cupped his cheeks, “You are beyond annoying, James.” Leaning in, you pressed your lips to his. He relaxed into your touch, his hand sliding up to rest at the nape of your neck.

Once he pulled away, you fixed yourself, licking your bottom lip, “Mmm, chocolate.”

He grinned, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you impossibly close. You laid your head against his shoulder, looking out at the water in front of you. It was peaceful out. With the stress of school and whatnot, it was nice to just sit and exist for a while.

Hook glanced down at you, leaning his head down to press a kiss to your forehead. No matter how rough and wicked he was to others, he treated you like you were the most important thing in the world, and that’s because you were the most important thing in the world to him. You were his everything, the reason he strived to try his best.

“I love you, darling,” he whispered in your ear, his hand gently squeezing your hip. You blushed, butterflies erupting in your stomach. The two of you had been together for a little over a year, but he still managed to make you swoon over and over again. The soft and caring touches, the loving pet names… he knew how to win your heart. Nothing else mattered when it was just you and him.

“I love you too, my captain. More than you’ll ever know,” You sat up, brushing his hair out of his face. The soft light from the sunset made him look even more even more handsome than you had ever thought imaginable. You were certainly lucky.

“Do I have chocolate on my face? You’ve been staring for an awfully long time,” Hook teased, pulling you so that you were sitting on his lap. Your face must’ve been as red as a scorching fire at that point. You nodded, kissing his cheek, “Yup, right there.”

“And right there,” you kissed the tip of his nose, then planted a sweet kiss on his lips, “Aaaand right there.”

“That’s a lot, are you sure that there isn’t any chocolate anywhere else?” James winked, earning a shove from you.

“Hey, why don’t we go for a swim?” you stood up, going over to the water, “It looks calm today.” Hook raised a brow, “Swim? Are you sure? It’s a little cold out. Why don’t we just stay over here?”

You turned to him, a puzzled look on your face. “It’s just a little water, James. Come with me,” you reached for his hand. He hesitated before standing up, walking over to the water.

Turning back to the water, you saw something out of the corner of your eye. You walked over, curious as to what it was.

“James, come look, I think it’s a crocodile!” you exclaimed. It wasn’t too clear of a picture, but you could see two yellow eyes peaking out from the surface of the water.

When you heard no response, your head turned to look at him again. He was frozen in his place, his already pale skin turning even whiter. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t speak. “James? James, what’s wrong?” you went over to him, shaking his shoulder.

His breaths got faster, the only word capable of coming out of his mouth was the word “no” and he felt like his feet had been cemented to the ground below him. He was shaking like a dog caught in a rain storm, and any words that you said to him sounded like jumbled mush that went in one ear and out the other. You wrapped your arms around him, gently moving him away from the edge of the water.

“Deep breaths, I’ve got you,” you whispered, one of your hands rubbing his back while the other took his hand. “You’ve got this, I’m right here.” His eyes darted over to yours, focused on them as he tried to regulate his breathing.

“That’s good, just look at me, James.”

After a minute or two, he had started taking deeper breaths, his forehead resting against yours. You just held him in your arms, trying to comfort him in any way that you could. You could ask questions later, but it was clear that he needed you in the moment.

“I’m sorry,” He whispered in such a quiet tone that you wouldn’t have been able to hear him had he not been right in front of you. “Shh shh, nothing to be sorry for. We can talk later, okay?”

You eventually brought Hook back to his room. You laid down on his bed while he laid on top of you, his head resting on your chest. He found your heartbeat to be calming, especially in times like these. After he was okay enough to talk to you, he had told you what had happened that made him have such a big reaction. You felt absolutely awful, and did nothing but apologize profusely until he begged you to stop apologizing.

Your hand ran through his hair, “I love you so much. Nothing will ever make me stop loving you, alright?” He looked up at you, his eyes tired and threatening to close, “I love you too, darling. I’m sorry for not telling you about, y’know…”

“Shh, it’s okay, love. Now go to sleep, I’ll be right here when you wake up. I promise.”

a/n: i absolutely love fluffy hook, it’s probably my most favorite thing to write ever. thank you for the request, i appreciate it!! <3

[fen-luciel]

The mistakes of a Acolyte

4

Chapters

Summary: You are pregnant with Qimir's child and the universe is not big enough to hide you from him.

There was an embarrassed silence for a few minutes before Sol decided to clear his throat.

"I understand the fear, but this time we'll be more prepared, we won't let him even touch you" I looked at him unsure, I didn't know what was worse, if I brought them there and he was there... even hiding my belly, being seen with the Jedi would be a death sentence, or he could speak out of turn and get me arrested while he escaped, the possibilities were endless and each worse than the other.

"Excuse me, I need... to wash my face" my hands trembled as I tried to get up, Yord beside me stood up worried before offering me a hand which I quickly took, with a nod he pointed me to the bathroom and I hurried there.

The door opened automatically and I rushed inside, closing the door behind me, the sterile light illuminating the small room burned my eyes.

When I rubbed them, I realized the problem, unshed tears filled my lashes, the burning sensation I was starting to feel was the familiar one of crying.

I turned off the light and turned on the smaller, dimmer one above the mirror, in the dark I took a few deep breaths, hands resting on the rectangular sink before placing one on my belly and gently rubbing it.

The dark atmosphere calmed my nerves and fortunately, I managed to hold back the tears, turning on the water I washed my face with my still trembling hands, my shadowed reflection in the mirror was terrible, like the night before, it was written on all my features how bad I felt, the almost sickly purple bags under my eyes, the reddened irises, a disaster that seemed only to worsen.

As I took more breaths, I realized there was talking in the background happening a few meters from me, I could hear them discussing even with the door closed, especially Yord who seemed to have a particularly loud tone.

I pressed my ear to the door to better understand what they were talking about.

"I'm just saying we could try another way" the rhythmic sound I heard was probably his nervous footsteps, I could imagine him pacing back and forth nervously. "I don't like doing this either, but it's our best way," Jecki replied calmly. "We can get an approximate direction and go—" "With the risk of being discovered?" Sol interrupted her.

"And if he's really there? Maybe waiting for us. He'll assume we've rummaged through his things and found his partner" Jecki speculated. "Ex-partner" Yord immediately intervened afterward.

There was a few seconds of silence, I could imagine them looking at each other grimly. "He could be waiting for us with traps, or see us coming and escape while we search for the way, in the best-case scenario he'll be there to retrieve the last things before disappearing, we must seize the opportunity while it's available. He was injured the last time we clashed but I doubt it will slow him down, we must keep up" more muffled sounds followed, and some words I didn't quite catch as they continued to speak in a more controlled tone.

"We should at least give her time to process and understand if she wants to—" Yord's tone was irritated, you could hear it a mile away, but again Jecki intervened. "We must act now. We can help calm her nerves, but we need her and now."

I pressed my forehead against the metal door, weakly rubbing my eyes, I took a deep breath.

I had to think clearly, now more than ever I was caught between two fires ready to explode in my face, what was happening to me? What was I doing? How many times had I already said the wrong thing without even realizing it?

Was this farce I was carrying on the problem?

Had I become too weak?

Had these months of calm made me more docile or was it just me wanting to be? After all, it had already happened many years before.

Sure.

It had already happened.

When everything around you is a lie, you adapt to it, believe you are part of it, accept it, and carry on that fairytale.

I was doing it again, I had adapted to that desire that had started growing in my chest.

To be a normal person, a mother, a civilian like everyone else.

But I had never been that.

I had never been a victim.

Even what Qimir did to me. I let him do it, because deep down, it was what I wanted.

To feel loved regardless of the consequences, of how it would present itself and how I would live it.

I knew what I had to do.

I left the bathroom after washing my face again.

Immediately everyone turned to me, so I gave an encouraging smile. "Sorry, I needed a moment to think. I'll do it... I just ask that you keep me informed of the plan, if something goes wrong I want to understand it. Especially to escape the danger if it arises" I announced with a deep breath.

The reactions I received were different, it was obvious that Yord was not happy about it, Jecki nodded impassively, but Sol was clearly happy with my choice.

"Certainly, we'll organize the plan this afternoon and let you know when we've decided" Sol replied. I nodded before taking a few steps forward. "If it's not a problem, I'd like to go home, especially if we have to leave early, maybe put some clothes in a bag, or retrieve my old blaster." The three nodded. "If all goes well, you'll be away from home for a maximum of one day, but it's right to prevent, thank you again" Sol replied with a slight bow that I returned.

"Wait, I'll accompany you" Yord offered me an arm which I took with a smile. "Thank you"

We left the ship at a slower pace, the city was fully awake by now, the streets were full of busy civilians, but they seemed to easily step aside as we passed, whether to help a pregnant woman or for fear of the Jedi I couldn't tell.

"You're not obligated if you don't want to" Yord suddenly said, I looked at him with a small smile on my lips, he was deliberately avoiding my gaze, walking with a rigid posture, eyes fixed ahead of him.

"It's okay Yord. I want to end this story. Maybe for real this time" the only response I received was a snort from his nose, it was a rather amusing reaction despite everything, although I didn't understand the reason, sure Sol and Jecki were also worried, but he seemed on another planet.

"How sweet, you're worried" I intoned teasingly as I slightly squeezed his arm, the muscle contracting under my fingers.

"Of course I am. We are putting a pregnant woman in danger, I know you're not inexperienced, but we're Jedi, we should protect you, not ask you to be on the front line" I exhaled a snort of amusement. "Well, I have my Jedi knight to protect me, don't I?" I gave him a playful smile, but I could clearly see a slight dark blush on his cheeks.

When we reached my building he accompanied me to the door of my apartment where I let go of his arm.

"See you then?" he nodded before crossing his hands behind his back in a rigid posture. "We'll contact you as soon as we're organized, I'd tell you to bring something you need so maybe prepare a bag, but I don't think we'll contact you before evening. So rest" rummaging in his pockets he handed me a small comlink which I put in my pocket.

"See you later"

I closed the door behind me, the comlink left on the kitchen table as I quickly headed to the bedroom.

I had to do things right if I wanted to get out clean, to kriff with the Jedi, Qimir, and this shitty life I had tried to get into, peace had never existed, all the notions that had been taught to me were dictated by hypocrisy, but I had come out of it and I would come out of it this time too.

Rummaging through the closet, I took a loose shirt to put on, took off my shoes for comfort, and quickly tied my hair in a messy bun on my head.

Sure, if he didn't answer... but at that point, I didn't care, I would make another plan and another until I freed myself from the problem.

I sat cross-legged in the middle of the bed, the shutters were still down leaving the room dimly lit, I took deep breaths before closing my eyes, hands resting on my legs.

Over the years Qimir and I had developed a direct bond in the force, which had helped us on many occasions, the more time passed the easier it was for us to use it and outside it was almost impossible to perceive us. In recent months Qimir had repeatedly tried to call me through the force, I had closed the bond as soon as I escaped into hyperspace, the first days were a nightmare, he tried to contact me in every way, dozens of times a day, forcefully. It was obvious he was furious, he immediately realized something was wrong, he was more the type to disappear without saying anything, I wasn't. I would have warned him, I would have told him what I had to do, when I would return, anything, I was paranoid by nature and Qimir was a companion, so it seemed logical to tell him everything.

Even when I had to keep a low profile, I found a way to warn him of the problem, that day 5 months earlier, however, was particularly calm, we weren't doing anything special, so when I took my things and left it took him less than 12 hours to realize something was wrong.

The first calls were calm but insistent, when he realized I didn't intend to answer him, he got furious.

It was absurd how, despite being equals, his presence made me uncomfortable. It was a change I hadn't perceived. It took me five months to realize that what was happening was wrong.

And now I had to reactivate the bond.

And talk to him.

The last time he thought it was a dream, and he still managed to hurt me. I couldn't let him terrify me.

I tried several times, taking deep breaths, trying to reach him through the Force, but between the back pain and the nerves, I could barely concentrate.

I needed to relax, to find his familiar signature.

I lay on my side and closed my eyes again. I had to find Qimir, I had to remember his presence. The night before, we had connected in a dream, more out of visceral instinct, probably. I had emptied my mind of him, had forced myself to forget him, but the arrival of the Jedi had awakened everything, and it would have been hypocritical to deny the truth.

I was worried about him.

Where he was, if he was hurt, if he felt lonely... because of me.

My heart tightened in my chest. A tear rolled down my cheek, but I wiped it away with my sleeve. I hugged one of the pillows to my chest, seeking comfort, rubbing my face against the soft fabric.

The truth was that I missed Qimir terribly.

No matter how much I lied to myself, there was a void in my heart that only he had filled. He would have been so happy to know about this child, would have been by my side, worried about my well-being, massaging my back, and cooking my favorite dishes every day.

I loved him.

And he loved me.

But... the dark side of him wasn't just due to what he had gone through. There was something more visceral, possessive, violent... something that he took out on me.

I thought we were on the same page, that we were equals. But he didn't see it the same way.

I tried again, my arms tightening around the pillow. I tried to imagine him there with me, his delicate yet strong scent, reminiscent of a rain-soaked forest, the warmth of his body, the defined muscles, the numerous scars felt under my fingertips, his soft lips on my forehead... and it was then that I felt him.

It was like seeing a house with an open door from afar. He hadn't noticed that I was searching for him, trying to reach him, but he had left the door open, waiting for me.

And that's how I reached him. The darkness behind my closed eyes was soon illuminated by a cold blue light. I rubbed my eyes from the discomfort before realizing I had made it. My physical form had projected through the Force near Qimir.

I immediately recognized the place, the one I had hinted at to the Jedi. I immediately knew I was right. He had returned here, perhaps for the map, perhaps just to hide.

Looking quickly around, I noticed nothing different from usual. In fact, nothing seemed to have changed at all. It was an old stone room we had turned into our bedroom, although at first glance, it looked more like a storage room. Scrolls, books, devices of all kinds were placed in every corner, on the floor, under or on top of furniture. The windows, usually covered with rudimentary curtains we had hung, were now open, showing the night sky outside.

Walking towards the back of the room, I noticed a backpack carelessly placed on the floor, his clothes haphazardly thrown nearby, and then I spotted some bloodstains but ignored them. I knew who he had fought with, and I remembered Sol and Yord talking about an injury.

And finally, there he was, lying on an old double mattress against the wall at the back, pillows and blankets messily strewn on top, surrounding his sleeping body. A small bandage wrapped around his arm, but apart from that, he seemed fine. He had his back to me, sleeping deeply, his hair tousled on the pillow. I wanted to approach him while he was still asleep, to watch him while he was still peaceful, but I couldn't risk it.

So I did what I had come for.

I approached the small table next to the bed where he kept a flask of some foul-smelling drink and began to hit the metal surface with an open hand, once, twice, three times until Qimir woke up, pulled the lightsaber to him, and ignited it in my direction, terribly confused even as he tried to stand.

"I leave you alone for a few months, and this is the result?" I started, approaching the bed with a flat tone.

I had to be confident. I had dressed specifically to hide the curves of my pregnancy. If I showed any hesitation, he would realize I was hiding much more than I was letting on.

The surprise on his face was almost endearing, his eyes wide and still a bit clouded by alcohol. It took him a few seconds of silence to fully register what was happening.

"Sabrina..." he began to get up from the bed, but I stopped him with a gesture of my hand.

"Let's skip the pleasantries. You're in deep shit" He slowly sat back down on the mattress before deactivating the lightsaber, suspicion clear in his gaze.

"What are you doing here? You disappear for months and then come back to do what exactly?" There was acidity in his tone. This wasn't the dream he thought he was having. He didn't know I was really pregnant, and he didn't see me crying or sad. This probably wasn't the kind of reunion he hoped for. It was just me, waking him rudely and treating him with indifference.

"I've come to warn you. The Jedi know where you're hiding and will be here soon" The surprise and then the confusion were clear in his features. He opened his mouth to speak, but I didn't let him start. "The idiot you were dragging along talked, but I guess you suspected that already. They found... our photo" I added the last part with a frustrated sigh.

"Wait, they found you? Were you captured?" He jumped up, reaching out a hand toward me, but I stepped back a few paces.

"No. I convinced them I was an unaware colleague of yours. But they knew too much, and I had to say some things"

The more details I added, the more confused he seemed. He tilted his head in that cute way I often teased him about, and I held back a smile. It wasn't the right time.

"I'll have to bring them here. We'll probably arrive in less than two days, maybe even sooner. So pack the most important things and hide them on the ship, especially all the Sith artifacts. I don't want those dogs touching or, worse, destroying everything we've recovered..." Without realizing it, I started pacing back and forth in front of him, lost in my thoughts. It was true that many of the things were scattered across the various hideouts we had, but what we wanted to study and analyze, we kept within reach.

Needless to say, between things to do, other... hobbies, and the undeniable laziness of both of us, a lot of things had accumulated here too.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when Qimir suddenly grabbed my wrist. I turned quickly, my heart pounding in my chest, mentally cursing myself for letting my guard down so easily. I shouldn't have let him get too close. Yet in his gaze, I read none of the emotions that made my knees tremble. He looked at me with an unreadable expression.

"Are you okay? How did you reach me without getting caught?" I exhaled deeply before yanking my wrist away from his warm hand. I was sure he noticed my accelerated heartbeat, but it wasn't unusual given the situation we were in.

"Yes. I'm... in a hotel I rented. They left me alone to decide a plan. I hoped to contact you after knowing it, but I doubt I'll have time. We need to think carefully about what to do next." I cleared my throat before sighing. "If you just want to leave before they arrive, I understand. But make sure not to leave any traces. I told that Jedi about our map. If they don't find it, you'll have time to hide and heal," I continued, nodding towards his arm. He shrugged in response, making an irritated grimace. "I'm fine. It's nothing."

"And you? They know about us now. Do you really think they'll let you go?" he continued. I gave him a half-arrogant smile. "I was very convincing in my story. They think I'm just a former colleague and lover. They actually want to protect me from you" I said mockingly, but instead of smiling as I hoped, he lost every ounce of lightness he had. The rigid posture of his back and the darkening gaze made my toes numb from how tightly I was keeping them to avoid stepping back.

"A hotel? Is that what you've been doing for five months? Wandering the galaxy doing what? You left without telling me anything, cutting me off from the bond, and now you reappear, warning me about the Jedi" he began to slowly step towards me with a gloomy look. The anxiety gnawed at my stomach, but I had to keep the façade.

Attack was the best defense, after all.

"And you? I leave for a while, and you find an acolyte, get caught by the Order, and then what?" He stopped mid-step, fists clenched at his sides. I could see how tightly he was keeping his arms contracted. It was obvious he was furious, but my words had hit him at least a little.

"I was looking for you. But I didn't want to let the Jedi go. At one point, I even thought they had taken you, that you had run away to keep me safe... but it seems I was wrong" the last sentence was almost growled, as I raised my arm towards him and instinctively grabbed his wrist, pulling him towards me. With my other hand, I grasped the t-shirt he used for sleeping, forcing him to bend down to my eye level.

The unexpected movement left him silent as he looked back at me, confused.

"I feel like I've always been honest with you all these years. I've always told you everything. I've included you in my personal and non-personal life. For once when I needed my own space, you're angry? And how should I feel?" Both of us were short of breath, our gazes hard, too many things left unsaid, or at least, I was hiding everything from him and continued to lie to his face, since we were friends, an unspoken rule was that I was always honest with him, not because he asked me or some code imposed it on me, but because if there was something my past experiences had taught me, keeping secrets only led to disasters.

But this was different. I had to lie.

I pushed him away from me and he didn't resist. "I'm trying to help you in case you hadn't noticed."

Qimir snorted before crossing his arms over his chest. The muscles in his arms bulged with the movement. Had he become even bigger while I was away? I mentally pinched myself at the thought. It was really the wrong time to fantasize about those arms.

"I have no intention of leaving you alone with the Jedi. Maybe you've tricked them for now, but it's obvious they won't let this go so easily. If they decide to report this to the higher-ups, sooner or later someone will recognize you. And you don't know when or how. I'm staying. And I'm taking you with me," I swore I heard his voice grow huskier towards the end, but I ignored the shiver down my spine and cleared my throat.

"I know. But we have to keep up this facade until the end. At least as an emergency plan"

The silence that followed was tense, almost suffocating. I rubbed my eyes tiredly, and swore I saw him lean towards me for a second before dropping his hands to his hips again, probably bitter and disheartened by how this conversation was going.

"I could pretend to kidnap you" he hypothesized. "You said you're playing the victim, right? Tell me what you told them and maybe I could-"

"No. We want them to leave us alone, not to pursue us more aggressively" it was obvious things would only get worse if we pretended a kidnapping. They were bringing me there, pregnant, by that time they would have felt responsible and there would have been chances that they would call the council. "We have to make sure you slip from under their noses. They mustn't realize you knew about their arrival. But... you could hurt me" an idea finally flashed through my mind. "Of course, they don't know about my Force abilities, you have to attack me-" I began to pace the room as a plan formed in my mind. "No, wait, I don't want to hurt you—" "—as if you could" I interrupted with a mocking tone.

Maybe it was the fact that we weren't really in the same room, maybe it was the months apart, but I felt much less uncomfortable now in his presence, and having the upper hand gave me more confidence. Sure, Qimir wasn't stupid, but I had the advantage. And I needed to get rid of him like the Jedi.

"I told them we were engaged and that I ran away when I realized you were dangerous—" he rolled his eyes before making an irritated grimace "—we can pretend I betrayed you, you attack us in anger, I slip inside and reach the ship we have down here. While you fight the Jedi, I'll activate the doors to buy you time. They'll think a droid helped you, and we can leave on two separate ships" I turned towards him with a satisfied expression.

"Sweetheart. I thought we agreed not to play the kidnapping card" he whispered with an ironic smile on his lips as he took a few steps closer. I ignored the affectionate name he called me, not letting him get into my head and distract me with less important things.

"And indeed, we'll take two separate paths. They'll be too worried about chasing you, and in the meantime, I'll cut off all communication. We'll both have time to disappear"

He looked at me irritably before walking away, throwing the lightsaber casually on the bed as he started taking off his shirt. "This plan sucks" he hissed through his teeth as he continued to undress, calling his usual tunic abandoned in a corner with the Force and starting to get dressed.

"Do you have a better idea? I don't think so. And anyway, for all we know, they could come in four or twenty" I snapped irritably, raising my voice. "Do you realize how many things could go to kriff?" he ran his hands through his hair, frustrated, and I sighed in response, irritated. "I know! We'll improvise, as we always do, but it's better than nothing... Where's Sam?" I asked suddenly, looking around.

"I deactivated him, he kept bugging me because you weren't here and was blaming me" I rubbed my eyes once again before turning towards him and pointing my finger at him. "Reactivate my droid, get help, and keep your eyes open. If everything goes well, we'll drop off their radar for a while, and maybe we can shake them off since you decided to get caught" I snapped irritably.

"Sorry, but can't we just ambush them?" he replied, frustrated.

I swallowed bitterly before answering more calmly, "I can't. Not now. We need to get rid of them calmly" I saw him make another grimace, ready to protest, but I interrupted him again.

"Shut up. You created this problem. That's why I'm the master between the two of us. Don't forget that. You have orders. Execute them." My tone was hard. Disappointed. I sounded convincing. Maybe I was venting a different kind of irritation at the moment, but he couldn't imagine that. Fortunately, I struggled to read him just as he struggled with me.

Ours was more of a dance, armed with sharp claws and lightsabers, ready to attack each other for sport or wound each other out of personal pride. I could suffer as much as I wanted for his actions, be afraid of him, but I had no doubt that deep down, Qimir had the same fear of me.

It was a race to see who would break first.

That's why I couldn't allow him to see my weakness.

"Don't get yourself killed."

And with that, I looked at him one last time before severing the bond. Darkness returned, and when I opened my eyes again, I was still in my bedroom, hugging the pillow, as that forest scent faded from my senses.

[princessbrunette]

oh my fuck i just thought of outlaw!jayj and johnbee and them using u as bait!! like ur so pretty n sweet looking so they put u in the forest looking all helpless and hide behind the trees and wait for someone rich to come through… and when someone does obviously they stop to help u because who wouldnt!? while ur sweet talkin the guy, jayj and john bee jump out with the guns and rob them! u don’t particularly like it but they way they fuck u so good after makes up for it 🫶

-☀️

🫧୨ৎ🐻‍❄️ྀིྀི⋆⭒˚｡

doing your job so reluctantly, woeful little pout on your face when the target strolls up to you as expected. you do your part, bat your lashes just the way jj told you to, hold lots of eye contact the way john b advised, and soon — you get to sorrowfully watch the colour drain from the poor suckers face when he feels the cold metal of a pistol against the back of his head, your two lovers having made their entrance.

“yeah, you know what that is dont’cha?” jj asks with a grin— but it’s not the smile that reaches his eyes that he gives you, it’s this cold and scary one. you know it’s closer to a grimace than a smile truly, and you know it means trouble.

“whats going on? just drop the gun, we can talk this out.” they always try to reason, but in order to get their money — the outlaws have to really put the fear of god in him, make this guy think he’s actually gonna die.

“we don’t wanna have to hurt you buddy. turn it around, easy… there you go.” john b instructs, standing back as jj keeps the weapon pointed straight at the strangers head. as advised, you disappear back behind a tree, out of arms reach incase anything does go wrong. they say it’s for your safety, and because a pretty young thing like you shouldn’t see such nasty behaviour from her two fellas.

it gets boring after a while, so you sit down behind a tree, the voice faded to a muffle as you hum to yourself, picking up a ladybug on your finger, entertaining yourself. sometimes they rough the guy up a bit if he’s not complying, beat on him ‘til he does — but the exchange never lasts longer than ten minutes. soon, the guys cleared off and your boys collect you, helping you to stand.

“gonna get dirt on your dress, pup.” john b tsks, patting you down and you stare over at his companion curiously.

“did you get anything good?” you tilt your head to the blonde rifling through the napsack they fill their ‘prizes’ with. he squints one eye when he smiles, and this time you know it’s genuine, and he reaches inside the sack and pulls out gold jewellery he must’ve taken from the man.

“you tell me, this look good to you babydoll?” hes showing teeth now, biting back a chuckle as your jaw drops, bouncing with excitement.

“oh that’ll make you a fortune!”

“all from your help, sweetheart.” that homely rumbly voice that belong to john b cuts through, a warm hand on your waist pulling you into his side. you melt into him, his body on yours always feeling like it could make you fall asleep. he smells like fresh water and embers from last nights camp fire— all warm and daddy-like.

neither of them let you forget how helpful you are later that night, a few drinks down in a shabby motel shack, sandwiched between the two of them, crying and gasping with a dick in each hole.

“f—full!” is all you can say, and the boys chuckle— albeit slightly awkwardly, their faces so close from the position on the bed. john b took your pussy, jj nasty as ever in your ass.

“the…good kind of full?” john b coo’s like none of it’s happening, a hand brushing your cheek. jj kisses the back of your head, letting out a breathy moan momentarily after.

“s—so good!”

“only the best for… goddamnit… only the best for our best girl, right john b?” jj’s barely holding it together.

“you’re damn right, jj. our good little helper.”

🫧୨ৎ🐻‍❄️ྀིྀི⋆⭒˚｡

[amara-scott]

Hi, could you write a short story about yn x mattheo, exes to lovers ?

Tnxxx 💚💚

Pairing: Mattheo Riddle x Reader

Fandom: Harry Potter / Slytherin Boys

The crisp morning light woke me with delight as I sat up in bed, stretching my tired limbs. I rub my right eye, glancing around and see everyone still asleep. With a sigh I swing my legs over the edge of my bed. Grabbing the glass of water on my nightstand I freeze. A piece of parchment lying on the floor catches my attention.

It’s stuck under the corner of my dark teak night stand and I know exactly what’s written on it. Words in ink filled with emotions that I would never look at the same again. The first ever letter he wrote me. I kept it under my bed, a reminder of our unspoken promises. Promises we couldn’t keep apparently, hence why we’re now back to strangers and won’t be sharing any more late night talks and loving moments.

With a deep sigh I stand up, slip into my cozy morning shoes and make my way out the room quietly, catching a small glimpse of a peacefully snoring Pansy, lips apart and looking restful, a rare sight for such a vivid Slytherin girl. I grin at the view and make my way out the door. It must be very early- the clock on the wall in the common room proving me right. 6:12 a.m.

The chill of early November crept through the stone walls, weaving its way into the heart of Slytherin’s dungeons. The fire crackled faintly in the common room, casting shadows over the green and silver tapestries that adorned the walls. It was a beautiful scene, but right now it felt suffocating.

I grab a plush green comforter off the velvet couch and get comfortable. A few other students already sitting in different corners lit up by the cool glow of the black lakes filtered lights.

„Quite early, don’t you think?“

I turn my head to see Theo walking over. With one once over I realize he’s not woken up but just coming back from the roof top party at the Ravenclaw tower. I didn’t go but it must have been good if he’s only back now.

The circles under his eyes are deeper and the smirk he wears looks lazy. He flops down next to me, throwing his arm over my shoulder and takes my hand, twirling my ring around. A habit of showing me he cares. That he’s present. He’s done that since we were kids, running around the house with our moms gossiping in the kitchen.

„Quite late for you Teddy, don’t you think?“

He rolls his eyes, tilting his head back. „You missed a really good party, I told you to come.”

“Nah, I’m not really into parties-“

“-since you broke up.” He cuts me off, stating the obvious. I look at him, hearing the slight concern in his voice and I sigh deeply. He raises a brow at me, challenging me to prove him wrong- but I know he sees right through me.

“Well, technically he broke up with me, so,”

“Yn, it’s been- two months? Three? I want my best friend back.”

“Sorry to disappoint Teddy, I just never went through a break up-“ I pull my hand from his grasp and stand up, collecting the blanket and decide to leave this room, as he’s clearly not understanding my side of the story well enough.

“Yn- wait! I’m sorry, hey-“

He stands up after me and holds onto my wrist, walking around me to block my way. He doesn’t let go as he tilts his head, giving me look- a look that breaks my charade and I bite my lip as my eyes fill with the past months- a time in which I barely knew what happened and didn’t understand why.

As the first tear slips down my cheek and his hand cups my face, wiping it away- I break down. Fully sobbing now. I throw myself into his chest and he holds me. My hands gripping his cotton shirt tightly as I close my eyes, burying my face into his shoulder.

“Yn, hey- shh,” he strokes my hair gently holding me, “if he wasn’t my best mate- I’d have hung him off the astronomy tower first thing.”

I let out a small laugh, probably sounding like I choked on my breath. We stay like that for a moment and I open my eyes once more as I hear footsteps coming down the stairs from the entrance of the common room.

I hold my breath as he comes into view, his eyes fierce but tired. He skips down the stairs and another pair of steps follows quickly after. Another Slytherin girl, Felice, I believe. “Wait up, Matt!” She hurries down after Mattheo, quickly hooking her arm with his but he seems unbothered, barely grazing her with his eyes. His walk determined and heading for his dorm room.

For a brief moment our eyes meet- time seems to slow down. But as quickly as he came- he left. With her.

“-yn?” I glance up at Theo, who’s holding me at arms length. “Are you okay?” He obviously hasn’t seen them both. Probably coming from that same party. Probably doing- Merlin knows what. Will he kiss her? The way he kissed me? Hold her and call her beautiful? Make her feel special and wanted?

“Hey-“ Theo slightly shakes me and I blink a few times.

“Yeah- sure.” I clear my throat and step back, his hands falling from my arms. “I need some food.”

I turn swiftly and head toward the stairs, ready to run. “Yn-“ His hand holds my arm once more stopping me in my tracks.

“What?” I sound harsh, not meaning it that way but he frowns, his hand dropping.

“If you can’t talk to me about it- talk to Pansy, alright?” He sounds stern and scolding, like a parent ready to give me house arrest if I snapped once more.

“Sorry, Teddy. I will, okay?” He nods, watching me walk off and I hurry out, ready to dive into some food and forget about my broken heart.

__

It happened a few more times on which I spotted him with a girl, enjoying himself but looking tired. Why is he so tired? Enzo blurted out that he tosses a lot at night. And murmurs in his sleep. The urge to cross the room and shake him, asking for his well-being.. it grew so strong. I had to snap back into reality to regain my focus on the present.

“If you keep chewing on your lip- there won’t be any more need for a red lipstick.” Pansy drops and keeps eating her breakfast. I glance over and gulp, having been caught once again. Her gaze is fixed on the table, pouring more syrup on her waffles.

“And if you keep eating so much syrup-“

Pansy glares at Draco, stopping him mid-sentence. The smirk on his face drops and he looks ahead, a slight red tint on his cheeks. “Thought so-“ Pansy mumbles and turns back to her food, aggressively pouring even more syrup and looking at Draco. He avoids her eyes.

I grin and giggle as Theo suddenly plops down next to me, a deep satisfied sigh leaving him. “Hello everyone, I hope you had a wonderful night.” We all stare at him as he fills his plate generously, starting to dig in some eggs and toast. His loud chewing triggering me. He glances up and stops. “Mhuat?” He asks with a mouth full.

“What has you all cheery and delighted?” Blaise pipes up from across with a smirk, and I wonder if he already knows. Theo sends him a look and shakes his head, continuing to eat.

“Nothing. Why?”

“You seem oddly happy.” I add and pop another strawberry into my mouth.

“Oh! Yeah, I almost forgot to tell you-“ He turns to me and holds my shoulder, tilting his head down, giving me a goofy smile. I can’t help but grin back with a raised eyebrow.

“-we’re going to go on a date today, just you and me.” My confused look must have felt like a rejection as he frowns, his hand still on me. The gears turning in my head as I start to register his words.

"What?"

"A... date? Teddy—"

"—no! No, not like a romantic candlelight dinner date. Just a friendly date. A playdate— I mean, you know?" His cheeks grow red as he fumbles with his words and I giggle, leaning forward to slap his shoulder.

"You're a bloody git!"

"Is that a— yes?"

"Yes." I roll my eyes and a wave of relief and excitement surged through him. Without missing a beat, Theo pumped his fist in the air and struck a triumphant pose.

"I still got it."

"You're terrible, Theo" Pansy adds and glares at him playfully. "I thought I needed to slap you too." Her words sink in and my smile slightly falters for a brief moment. But I replace it with a fake one, only glancing over to him once more. Sitting close by and probably having heard everything. A new girl by his side, chewing his ear off as she rambles on, not even having touched her food. His eyes don't find me, but rather an oblivious Theo. The deadly stare almost having me in a choke.

—

We walked arm in arm, Theo’s laughter echoing in the cool air as he recounted a story from our younger years, how we accidentally hexed another student and left them with bright green hair in Potions class. I laughed along, grateful for the distraction.

As we approached Honeydukes, Theo suddenly suggested we stop for some sweets before dinner. “You can’t go to the Three Broomsticks without a handful of Chocolate Frogs,” he said with a grin, his eyes twinkling with mischief.

“Is that so?” I teased, nudging him playfully. “Or is this just your excuse to load up on sweets?”

“Maybe a bit of both,” he admitted, flashing me that charming smile that had gotten us both out of trouble countless times over the years.

We stepped inside the shop, and I let the warm, sugary scent wash over me, trying to forget about everything that had been weighing on my mind. Theo led me through the aisles, pointing out our favorite treats and making jokes that had me laughing in spite of myself. For a moment, it was just like old times, before everything got complicated.

But then, as we were browsing, something caught Theo’s eye. I followed his gaze and felt my heart stutter in my chest. Standing just outside the shop, leaning against the wall with that same brooding expression I had come to know too well, was Mattheo. And he wasn’t alone—a girl I didn’t recognize was with him, standing too close, her hand brushing against his arm.

Theo stiffened beside me, his playful demeanor faltering for just a moment. “Let’s get out of here,” he said softly, his voice steady but laced with something I couldn’t quite place. He grabbed my hand, leading me toward the counter to pay for the sweets. I followed him, trying to keep my emotions in check, but the sight of Mattheo with someone else had left me reeling.

The rain came down in torrents, soaking us to the bone as we stepped out of Honeydukes. The earlier warmth of the evening had vanished, replaced by a biting chill that seemed to seep into my very core. Theo held my hand tightly, guiding me through the downpour as we headed toward the Three Broomsticks. His usual lightheartedness was gone, replaced by a tension I couldn’t quite place.

Just as we reached the midpoint, I spotted Mattheo. He was standing across, still leaning against the wall, his eyes dark and stormy as they locked onto us. The girl beside him said something, but he didn’t seem to hear her, his focus entirely on Theo and me. My heart twisted at the sight of him—he looked like he hadn’t slept in days, his expression a mixture of anger and something deeper, something that sent a shiver down my spine.

Before I could react, Mattheo pushed away from the wall and started toward us, his movements sharp and deliberate. The girl called after him, but he ignored her, his gaze never leaving me. The rain blurred his figure slightly, but I could see the tension in his posture, the way his fists clenched at his sides as he approached.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Mattheo’s voice was low, dangerous, and filled with an anger as he addressed Theo. He stopped just a few feet away, the rain pouring down between us like a curtain.

Theo squared his shoulders, his jaw tightening as he faced Mattheo. “Taking care of her,” he replied, his tone steady but laced with frustration. “Something you should have been doing instead of running away.”

“Taking care of her?” Mattheo’s eyes flashed with fury as he stepped closer, his voice rising. “By dragging her out here and parading her around? What the hell is wrong with you?”

I tried to step between them, to calm them down, but they were too focused on each other, the storm between them raging out of control. “Stop it, both of you!” I shouted, but my voice was lost in the wind and rain.

Theo didn’t back down, his eyes locked on Mattheo’s. “What’s really wrong, Mattheo? Is it that I’m here for her, or that you know you should be?”

Mattheo’s fists clenched even tighter, and for a moment, I thought he might actually hit Theo. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he growled, his voice shaking with barely restrained emotion. “You have no idea what I’ve been through, what I’ve been trying to protect her from.”

“Protect her?” Theo’s voice rose with incredulity, and he took a step closer, his face inches from Mattheo’s. “You don’t get to play the martyr here, Mattheo. You left her! You broke her heart because you were too much of a coward to face your own feelings!”

Mattheo’s eyes widened in shock, and for a split second, the anger faltered, replaced by something that looked like betrayal. Then, without warning, he shoved Theo hard, sending him stumbling back a few steps. “You don’t know anything!” Mattheo shouted, his voice cracking with the weight of his emotions.

Theo recovered quickly, his face contorted with a mix of anger and shock. “I know more than you think,” he shot back, his voice cold. “I know you’re scared, Mattheo. Scared of how much you care about her. Scared that if you let yourself love her, you’ll lose her. And instead of facing that, you ran. You ran because you couldn’t handle the thought of losing her, even if it meant breaking her heart!”

The words hung in the air, heavy and suffocating, as Mattheo stared at Theo, his face pale as if the truth had been dragged out of him against his will. The tension between them was electric, the storm around us seeming to mirror the storm inside Mattheo.

I felt my heart pound in my chest, the world spinning as the realization hit me—Theo had known all along. He had known why Mattheo ended things, and he had kept it from me.

Mattheo’s breath was ragged, his eyes wild with a mixture of fury and pain. “You think you know me so well?” he hissed, shoving Theo again, harder this time. “You think you have all the answers? You have no idea what it’s like to be me, to have to constantly worry about losing everything you care about. I was trying to protect her!”

Theo pushed back, and suddenly they were throwing fists, their anger boiling over into physical blows. I screamed for them to stop, but they were too far gone, too consumed by their emotions. They grappled in the rain, slipping on the wet cobblestones, their shouts mingling with the roar of the storm.

“You don’t get to decide what’s best for her!” Theo yelled as he landed a punch to Mattheo’s jaw. “You don’t get to break her heart and then claim it was for her own good!”

Mattheo staggered back, wiping blood from his lip, his eyes filled with anguish. “I didn’t want to hurt her!” he shouted, his voice breaking as he swung at Theo again. “I didn’t want to put her in danger! But I couldn’t... I couldn’t stop caring about her. And that scared the hell out of me!”

Theo blocked the punch, pushing Mattheo away with a look of raw fury. “Then you should have stayed! You should have fought for her instead of running like a coward!”

Mattheo’s shoulders slumped as the fight seemed to drain out of him, the weight of his guilt and fear finally breaking through. He looked at me then, his eyes filled with a pain so deep it made my breath catch. “I was scared, Y/N,” he confessed, his voice trembling. “I’ve never cared about anyone like I care about you. I didn’t know how to handle it, how to deal with the thought of losing you. So I pushed you away, thinking it would be easier. But it wasn’t. It was hell. I was trying to protect you, but all I did was hurt you.”

The confession hung in the air, raw and unfiltered, as the rain poured down around us. The world seemed to stand still as I stared at him, my heart aching with the truth of his words.

Theo stepped back, his chest heaving with the effort of holding back his own emotions. He looked at Mattheo, then at me, and finally, the anger in his eyes softened. “He’s telling the truth, Y/N,” Theo said quietly, his voice hoarse from the shouting. “He was scared, and he messed up.”

Mattheo’s gaze locked onto mine, his eyes pleading. “I know I don’t deserve another chance, but I need you to know that I never stopped caring. I never stopped needing you. And if there’s even the slightest chance that you can forgive me, I’ll do whatever it takes to prove that I’m not going to run away again.”

The rain continued to pour, drenching us all, but I barely felt it. All I could see was Mattheo, standing there with his heart on his sleeve, vulnerable in a way I had never seen before. And I realized that despite everything, despite the pain and the anger, I still cared. I still felt something for him, something deep and undeniable.

I took a shaky breath, my voice barely a whisper as I spoke. “You broke my heart, Mattheo. But if you’re serious about making things right... if you’re really willing to fight for this... then maybe, just maybe, we can find a way to fix what’s been broken.”

Mattheo’s eyes widened in surprise, hope flickering in their depths. “I’ll prove it to you, Y/N. I swear I will.”

Theo, drenched and exhausted, gave me a small nod of approval, stepping back to give us space. The tension between them had finally eased, replaced by an unspoken understanding.

As we stood there in the pouring rain, I realized that this wasn’t the end of our story—it was the beginning of something new. Something that would take time, patience, and a lot of healing. But for the first time in a long time, I felt like we were on the right path.

“Okay.”

—

—

—

I’m so sorry this is so longggg even though you requested a short story, I got carried away 🥹🤞🏼I hope you still enjoy 💜

[zzukowo]

I just killed a man, she’s my alibi <3 (27th September 2024)

Zuko x Reader

Prompt! Everyone’s favorite trope, enemies to lovers!

The sun dipped below the horizon, casting long shadows over the battlefield as the sounds of clashing elements began to fade. Zuko stood at the edge of the clearing, his breath ragged and his muscles tense as he scanned the area for any lingering members of the Avatar’s group. The fight had been another stalemate, neither side truly gaining ground, but something felt different this time—something he couldn’t quite place.

He wiped the sweat from his brow, trying to shake off the strange feeling gnawing at him. But then, his eyes fell on her.

Y/N, the princess from the other Water Tribe.

She had joined the Avatar’s group only a few weeks prior, and though Zuko had fought them countless times before, her presence had thrown him off balance ever since. Her fluid movements as she bent water were as graceful as they were powerful, and there was a strength in her that intrigued him, though he would never admit it.

Zuko’s gaze followed her as she skillfully deflected a few firebending blasts with ease, her face calm and focused despite the chaos around her. But then, out of nowhere, a blast of fire—hotter and more dangerous than the rest—came hurtling toward her.

Before Zuko even had time to think, his body moved on instinct.

He lunged forward, his feet carrying him across the battlefield faster than he thought possible. With a sweeping motion of his arms, he redirected the fire away from her, sending it into the sky where it dissipated harmlessly.

Y/N stumbled back, her eyes wide in shock as she looked at him. “Zuko…?”

The surprise in her voice mirrored the confusion swirling in his mind. He stood there, frozen for a moment, realizing what he had just done. He had saved her—saved the enemy.

"Be careful," he muttered, his voice low and gruff, doing his best to hide the tremor in it. He turned quickly, not daring to meet her gaze again. “Next time, I won’t be there to save you.”

Without another word, Zuko retreated, disappearing into the forest as the fight slowly came to a close. His heart raced, his mind replaying the moment over and over again, each time making less sense.

Why had he saved her?

---

The Gaang stood dumbfounded as they watched Zuko disappear into the distance, the tension in the air thick with disbelief. Y/N still stood frozen, her mind trying to process what had just happened.

“Wait, did Zuko just save Y/N?” Sokka blurted out, his face twisted in confusion. He pointed toward the spot where Zuko had been moments before. “Zuko?”

“I think so,” Katara responded slowly, her brow furrowed as her eyes darted between Y/N and the distant forest where Zuko had vanished. “Why would he…?” Her voice trailed off, unable to comprehend Zuko’s actions.

“Because it was me or the fire,” Y/N replied, finally finding her voice. “But… yeah, I didn’t expect him to step in.”

Toph, leaning on her earthbending stance, raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Well, looks like Sparky’s got a soft spot.”

Sokka’s jaw dropped. “No way! He’s evil! There’s no way he’d help Y/N unless he’s planning something!”

Aang scratched the back of his head, still wide-eyed. “Maybe he’s not as bad as we thought? I mean, that was a pretty bold move for someone who supposedly hates us.”

Katara crossed her arms, her skepticism clear. “I don’t trust him. It could’ve been a trick.”

Y/N remained quiet, her gaze fixed on the direction Zuko had left. She could still feel the heat of his firebending, not as a weapon, but as a shield. His words echoed in her mind: "Be careful." It was more than just a warning. There was something else in his voice—something almost protective. But why?

Toph let out a snort. “You know, for someone who’s supposedly chasing us down, he sure seems to care about one of us not getting burned alive.”

Sokka groaned dramatically. “Oh, no. Don’t tell me Zuko has a thing for Y/N. The Fire Prince and the Water Princess? That sounds like something out of one of those awful love stories.”

Aang’s eyes lit up, and he grinned mischievously. “Actually, that’s kinda perfect! A firebender and a waterbender—a perfect balance!”

Y/N’s face flushed. “It’s not like that!”

“Sure,” Katara smirked. “But he sure risked a lot to keep you safe. Maybe he doesn’t even know how he feels.”

Sokka crossed his arms. “Oh great, now we have to deal with Fire Nation Romeo making goo-goo eyes at Y/N.”

“Please,” Y/N rolled her eyes, trying to ignore the warmth creeping up her neck. “He probably just didn’t want to accidentally kill one of us and ruin his whole ‘capture the Avatar’ plan.”

Toph laughed. “Whatever you say, Princess.”

Y/N shot her a look, but deep down, even she couldn’t ignore the strange feeling twisting in her stomach. Why did Zuko save her? She wasn’t sure, but the memory of his voice, gruff but concerned, lingered in her mind longer than she wanted it to.

---

Later that night, Zuko sat beside a small fire in their camp, his eyes trained on the flickering flames as if they held the answers to his confusion. His mind was a storm of conflicting thoughts, none of which he wanted to face.

From across the fire, Uncle Iroh quietly observed him, sipping from a small cup of tea. The silence between them stretched on for several long minutes before Iroh finally spoke.

“You seem troubled, Prince Zuko.”

Zuko glanced up, startled, then quickly looked away. “I’m fine,” he muttered, though the tension in his voice betrayed him.

Iroh chuckled softly. “Ah, I see. So you often sit by the fire looking as though the world is weighing down on your shoulders when everything is ‘fine’?”

Zuko gritted his teeth, the heat of embarrassment rising to his face. His uncle always had a way of seeing right through him. “It’s nothing,” he said again, though his mind was still on Y/N—on the way she had looked at him when he saved her, the shock in her eyes.

Iroh sipped his tea again, his eyes twinkling with knowing amusement. “Was it nothing when you saved the Water Tribe princess today?”

Zuko’s heart skipped a beat, his gaze snapping to his uncle. “You saw that?”

“Of course,” Iroh said, his smile soft but all too wise. “It was quite the unexpected moment, I must say.”

Zuko’s jaw tightened. “It didn’t mean anything,” he said quickly, almost defensively. “I wasn’t thinking. It just… happened.”

“Ah, yes,” Iroh nodded sagely. “Sometimes, the heart acts before the mind can catch up. A natural instinct, wouldn’t you say?”

Zuko scowled, crossing his arms over his chest. “I don’t have feelings for her,” he snapped, his voice a little too sharp for his liking. “She’s the enemy. I was just… caught up in the moment.”

Iroh chuckled again, his eyes warm with understanding. “Perhaps, Zuko, your heart is beginning to change. Not everything is as black and white as it seems. Enemies today may not always be enemies tomorrow.”

“I’m not having a change of heart,” Zuko insisted, though doubt crept into his words. “I’m still going to capture the Avatar. I haven’t changed.”

“Maybe,” Iroh mused, “or maybe it’s something else entirely.” He gave Zuko a knowing smile. “Perhaps you have a fondness for the princess? A crush, perhaps?”

Zuko’s face immediately flushed, his heart stuttering in his chest. “What? No!” He shot up from where he was sitting, glaring down at his uncle. “I don’t—! That’s ridiculous!”

But even as he said it, the thought lingered, unwelcome but persistent. Why had he saved her? Why did it matter to him? His stomach twisted in knots as he paced, trying to shake the thought away.

Iroh, as always, remained calm and collected. “There’s no need to be embarrassed, Zuko,” he said softly. “Feelings are a natural part of life. Sometimes, they come when we least expect them.”

Zuko stopped pacing, his hands balling into fists at his sides. “Even if I did feel something—which I don’t—it doesn’t matter. She’s with the Avatar. She’s on the other side.”

Iroh nodded. “True. But remember, life has a way of surprising us. You may find that the people we think of as our enemies today are not so different from us after all.”

Zuko didn’t respond, his mind still racing. He refused to believe his uncle was right. He didn’t care about Y/N. He couldn’t.

But later that night, as he lay staring up at the stars, her face haunted his thoughts. The way she had looked at him with such surprise, the warmth of her voice when she said his name—it echoed in his mind like a melody he couldn’t forget.

And despite himself, Zuko couldn’t help but wonder.

Maybe, just maybe, his uncle was right.

Later that night, Y/N sat by the campfire with the rest of the Gaang. The air was unusually quiet as they all processed what had happened earlier. Katara was stirring a pot of soup, while Sokka was poking at the fire with a stick, his brow furrowed.

Aang was the first to break the silence. “I still can’t believe it. Zuko, of all people, saved you.”

“I know, right?” Sokka chimed in, his voice dripping with disbelief. “The guy has been chasing us across the whole world, and now suddenly he decides to play the hero? What’s his angle?”

Y/N shrugged, though she could still feel the heat of Zuko’s firebending shielding her from harm. “I don’t know,” she muttered, her gaze falling to the ground. “Maybe it was just instinct. He didn’t want things to get out of control.”

Katara snorted. “That’s one way to look at it. But Zuko doesn’t do anything without a reason. There has to be something more going on.”

Toph, who was sitting on a nearby rock with her arms crossed, smirked. “Or maybe it’s a lot simpler than that. Maybe Sparky has a soft spot for our Water Princess.”

Y/N felt her face heat up immediately. “What? No way!” she sputtered, waving her hands dismissively. “That’s ridiculous. He’s just… trying to capture the Avatar like always.”

Sokka leaned in with a mischievous grin. “Or maybe Toph’s right. Maybe it’s love.”

Y/N rolled her eyes, trying to keep her voice steady despite the embarrassment creeping up her neck. “He’s our enemy, Sokka. I doubt he’s going to fall in love with me in the middle of a battle.”

Aang, ever the optimist, grinned. “Well, you know, water and fire do make a good balance. Maybe there’s something to it!”

Y/N groaned, covering her face with her hands. “Can we not? This is getting ridiculous.”

Toph let out a snicker. “Hey, I’m just saying, I’ve got a pretty good sense of people. Zuko’s definitely got some weird feelings brewing.”

Katara chimed in, her tone a mix of amusement and skepticism. “He’s probably just confused. Saving you doesn’t mean he’s suddenly turned into a good guy. But…” She shot Y/N a teasing smile. “It was kind of sweet, don’t you think?”

Before Y/N could respond, Sokka leaned back, laughing. “Oh man, if Zuko did have a crush, that’d be hilarious. Fire Prince Zuko and Princess Y/N? What a pair!”

Y/N threw a small pebble at him, though her face was still flushed. “Enough, Sokka! It was just a fight. Nothing more.”

But despite her protests, she couldn’t stop thinking about the way Zuko had looked at her—like he had genuinely been worried for her. The confusion in his eyes as he warned her to be careful… it wasn’t something she could easily forget.

---

Meanwhile, far from their camp, Zuko lay awake under the stars, staring up at the sky with his hands behind his head. His thoughts were in turmoil, replaying the day’s events over and over again. Why had he saved Y/N? Why had he put himself in danger for her, of all people?

His uncle’s words echoed in his mind. ‘Perhaps you have a fondness for the princess? A crush, perhaps?’

Zuko scowled, pushing the thought away. A crush? On her? That was ridiculous. She was part of the Avatar’s group, the enemy. There was no way he had feelings for her. He barely even knew her.

But the more he tried to convince himself, the harder it was to shake the image of her standing in front of him, looking up at him with wide, surprised eyes. The warmth of his firebending had protected her, but there had been something else—a strange feeling he couldn’t explain.

He groaned in frustration, sitting up and running a hand through his hair. What was wrong with him? Why was this bothering him so much?

“Something on your mind, nephew?” Iroh’s gentle voice broke the silence as he approached, holding two cups of tea.

Zuko flinched but tried to mask his unease. “I’m fine, Uncle,” he muttered.

Iroh sat down beside him, offering him one of the cups. “Hmm. Fine, but still awake and troubled. Would you like to talk about it?”

Zuko hesitated, staring into the fire. He didn’t want to admit what was bothering him, not even to himself. But his uncle always had a way of knowing.

“I don’t know why I saved her,” Zuko finally admitted, his voice quiet. “It just… happened.”

Iroh nodded sagely. “Sometimes, our hearts guide us before our minds can understand why.”

Zuko clenched his fists. “But she’s the enemy. I shouldn’t care about what happens to her.”

“Perhaps,” Iroh said with a knowing smile. “But it seems your heart does care, whether you want it to or not.”

Zuko frowned, his mind still a whirlwind of confusion. He didn’t know what was happening to him, but the more he thought about Y/N, the more complicated everything became.

As the Gaang sat around the campfire, the teasing didn’t show any sign of stopping. Sokka, ever the instigator, leaned back with a mischievous grin, poking the fire with a stick.

“Y’know,” he said, feigning deep thought, “maybe we’ve been going about this all wrong. We’re out here fighting the Fire Nation day after day, but what if the answer’s been right in front of us all along?”

Y/N, already exasperated from the earlier teasing, shot him a skeptical look. “What are you talking about, Sokka?”

He smirked and gestured between her and the fire in the distance where Zuko had last been seen. “A Water Princess and a Fire Prince… Maybe we could bring peace to the world if the two of you just got together. No more fighting. No more chasing. Just a royal wedding to unite the nations.”

Y/N’s face turned a deeper shade of red, and she groaned loudly, covering her face with both hands. “Sokka, that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.”

Aang’s eyes lit up with excitement. “Wait, that could totally work! Water and fire are opposites, but together they create balance, just like me mastering all four elements. Maybe Zuko and Y/N could be, like, the ultimate peace-bringers!”

Toph snorted, barely able to contain her laughter. “I can already see it now: Zuko and Y/N, sitting on the throne, holding hands, fighting evil together with love and unity.”

Katara giggled, clearly amused by the idea, though she tried to sound serious. “Honestly, it would be poetic. A Fire Prince and a Water Princess. Opposites attracting and all that.”

Y/N’s hands flew to her face in embarrassment. “Stop it! That is never going to happen!”

But Sokka, already sensing victory, pressed on. “Hey, you never know. Maybe Zuko’s already thinking about it. After all, he did save your life today.”

Y/N sputtered, glaring at him. “He saved me because… because… I don’t know! Maybe he didn’t want me to get hurt so he could keep chasing the Avatar!”

Sokka leaned in, eyes twinkling with amusement. “Or maybe he’s planning to chase you for another reason.”

Y/N stood up, hands on her hips, ready to retort, but she found herself at a loss for words. The others were laughing, and even she couldn’t help the small, flustered smile creeping onto her face. It was absurd—Zuko, the Fire Prince, and her? But somehow, the teasing was relentless, and a small, quiet part of her couldn’t stop replaying that moment in her head—the way Zuko had looked at her when he warned her to be careful.

As the night wore on and the campfire crackled, Y/N tried her best to ignore the teasing remarks, but the seed had been planted. The idea, ridiculous as it seemed, now lingered in her thoughts. And even though the Gaang continued to joke about the "Water Princess and Fire Prince," Y/N couldn’t help but wonder… was it really so impossible?

---

Far away, Zuko tossed and turned on his bedroll, unable to sleep. His uncle’s words about a potential crush swirled in his mind, mixing with memories of Y/N’s face—her surprised expression when he saved her, the way her waterbending flowed with such grace.

He scowled, sitting up abruptly. No, this was ridiculous. He couldn’t have feelings for her. She was the enemy. And yet…

The thought lingered, gnawing at him.

[winterchimez]

Bad Blood | Lee Hyunjae

SUMMARY: you and Hyunjae were the best duo the FBI has ever had, well at least, you used to be. so when you finally meet the man you once loved face-to-face after everything that has happened, you're now left with the question if he is worth putting your faith and trust towards him again.

PAIRING: agent!Hyunjae x f!reader

GENRE: angst, crime

WARNINGS: nc-17, mentions of weaponry (guns, bombs), mentions of blood, violence, action scenes, betrayal (but not really ish; you'll find out as you read it), the tension in this is whew 😮‍💨, minor character deaths, kissing, petnames (sweetheart, princess), cursing

WORD COUNT: 2k

A/N: and so winterchimez makes her writing comeback 🫡 happiest birthday to my sweetest @hcuyk i look up to you a lot and im so so glad that we became close & i hope this is worthy for you my vae vae 🥹 and a big shoutout to @kyaroscuro for hyping me up and beta reading it through i cherish you loads too 💗🫶🏻

You absolutely detested the situation that you were placed in.

It was past midnight when you received an alert about the criminal that you and your team had been tracking down for the past few months and decided to resurface into the light. All agents on duty were given clear instructions to hunt the man down, even if it meant that any of you had to open fire. 

But it seemed as if your agents had underestimated what he was capable of, and there was a good reason why he was placed on the FBI’s top most-wanted list—he was a mastermind at setting up traps, specifically in hiding bombs throughout the city. 

Unfortunately for you and your team, half of your men had already been wiped out and poorly injured only ten minutes into the chase. However, as one of the elite members of the force, you refused to stop and kept moving forward—chasing the criminal up to the docks.

Loading your gun while you were running to aim and shoot at the criminal was a challenge since you also had to avoid harming any of the pedestrians.

Multiple times, the criminal himself has either taken some innocent people hostage or inflicted minor injuries upon them, which only ticked you off even further. You were mentally cursing and wanting just to land a bullet on the guy anytime now. 

It was finally when the criminal himself had moved to a dead-end, and he was taking a few steps back one at a time before he realised that he would fall straight down into the violent waves that would wash one away into the deep ocean. 

Aiming your gun right towards his forehead, you finally took in a deep breath before announcing out loud the consequences of his actions if he were to try anything funny further. 

“It’s over. Quietly turn yourself in, and your life will be spared.” 

Instead of raising his arms, the criminal responded by lowering his head before chuckling—his laughter getting louder and more sinister by the second.

“What’s so funny?” You retorted.

“I’m sorry, princess. It’s time.” 

Right there and then, he pulls out a remote and quickly taps on the red glowing button. An explosive goes off under the bridge, causing the waves to rise rapidly. The last thing you see with your eyes is the waves crashing down upon you.

It was too late for you to run as the waters dragged you down into the ocean, and the current quickly shifted you far away towards the sea. As much as you tried to paddle and stay above the waters, you were buried rapidly by the waves, and little did you know you were deep down in the dark, freezing waters. 

That was it. You failed the mission, and god knows what will happen to you. 

With the last few seconds you had before you knew that you were going to pass out, you could only pray that you would end up somewhere and that your fellow FBI agents would find you and take you back to the headquarters within the next 24 hours. 

But it seemed that help arrived much quicker than expected. 

As you felt half-unconscious, your body was quickly lifted from the waters, and you were back at the docks again. Whoever was carrying you was quick yet gentle, carrying you bridal style before heading towards a dimly lit area between the cargo boxes and placing you down to catch your breath. 

Your saviour wasted no time and quickly performed CPR on you, causing you to spit out a large amount of water that had gotten into your passageways and helped you to steady your breathing again so that you were able to at least talk. 

The moment you tried to focus your vision to get a glimpse of which of the FBI agents came to your rescue, your eyes immediately widened, and you quickly took out your other spare gun that you kept safe and intact behind your bulletproof vest and rested it on his temple. 

You weren’t expecting to see him again. 

“Sweetheart, can’t we just exchange a few words before you decide to pull a gun on me? I even saved your life, you know,” Hyunjae sighed as he slowly lifted your pants to reveal an injury you had neglected while you were on the chase for the criminal. 

“As I’ve said, the next time we meet, I will not hesitate to pull the trigger and kill you off, traitor,” you deadpanned.

That’s right, Hyunjae was a traitor—an ex-FBI agent and your former partner-in-crime.

Both of you were inseparable for years. You trained and deployed on countless missions, and for five years, you were grouped as a duo. Hyunjae was the best marksman, and you were his right-hand-woman.

Together, no criminal out there was a match for you two, no matter how dangerous or well-equipped they were. In reality, whoever dared to provoke you two would not have a great outcome the moment that they were captured and brought back to headquarters. 

He was a soulmate you never knew existed, and the both of you were always together no matter what. At some point, all of your colleagues were convinced that the two of you were a thing, but neither of you wanted to label anything. You both were fine just the way you were, and as long as the bickering and childish acts went on, you were fine.

Until you ran into Hyunjae killing off one of your superiors in his office a year prior. 

This was someone you trusted your whole life with, but at that moment, he was a complete stranger—with splatters of blood all across his face and clothing and those deep, lost eyes as he looked down at the lifeless body on the ground.

As an instinct, you loaded your gun with your trembling hands and moved it up to aim at him, causing the male to direct his attention towards you.

There were no words exchanged for a solid ten seconds, and you could tell that tears were about to stream down your face as your vision blurred. 

There was this bittersweet smile plastered across his face, and he only stood there, not moving an inch, before he finally decided to break the news to you. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” 

Those were his last words before he leapt out of the broken windows, running deep into the forest before the entire building was alerted and a wide manhunt began to capture your ex-partner.

However, the FBI should’ve known that he was one of the top commanders at that point and would not be easily located.

After a few months had passed, the news came to light when it was revealed that Hyunjae was leading a double life—not only was he an FBI commander, but he was also the CIA’s top informant. 

With that, you have distinguished that you two are now on different pages and that things will not end well for either of you the next time you see him again.

So here you were, pointing your gun at his temple, ready to pull the trigger anytime. 

Part of you wanted to surrender so badly and just interrogate the hell out of him instead of resorting to violence, but you knew that being an agent meant that there was no room to let any personal feelings get in the way. 

But it seemed as if Hyunjae wasn’t bothered by your actions in the slightest, and instead, he took out a clean cloth from one of his pockets to clean the wound before wrapping it well to prevent any infections that may happen. 

No. There’s no way you’re going to back down now. “You’re going to get yourself killed if you keep this up; you know that, right?” You pushed the gun forward and added some pressure, but he was not alarmed in the slightest. 

“Alright, the cloth isn’t going to last for long, so I highly suggest that you treat the wound as quickly as you possibly can-”

“Stop playing games with me, Hyunjae. You know you’re part of the FBI’s most wanted list now, don’t you?” You warned. 

There were a few seconds of silence before the male sighed and wrapped his fingers around your gun, yanking it down forcefully. “You’re so gullible, Y/N.”

“What the actual fuck? You sure have the audacity to say that right to my face after what you’ve done-”

“What I’ve done a year prior-” he raised his voice slightly and finally turned to meet eye-to-eye with you for the first time in a while. “-it’s all part of the plan to patch things up and to eliminate any potential harm to the FBI.”

You scoffed. “Bullshit. You’re with the CIA; why bother about the FBI when you killed Chief-”

Before you can finish your sentence, Hyunjae uses one of his arms to push you against one of the cargo boxes, causing you to yelp silently with the sudden force. This time, he rests his forehead against yours, trying his best to tell you something while lowering his tone. 

“Y/N. You can hate me all you want, but I’m not doing all of this for the CIA. No matter what, my heart is always with the FBI, but most importantly, with yours.” 

Wait a minute. 

Did he mean what he said during that last sentence? 

That can’t be true, and you were certain that you were probably hallucinating since you had lost quite a bit of blood and you were literally drowning ten minutes ago in the waters. It has got to be a side effect of all of those. 

But Hyunjae wasn’t done. 

“I’ll tell you right now that you’re in great danger, and you have attracted quite the attention from multiple organisations out there. But I’m not going to let them lay a finger on you, and it will always be a top priority to keep you safe first and foremost.” 

“Hyunjae. I’m not in the mood to be playing games with you-”

“And neither am I, Y/N.” Hyunjae slightly pushes you back against the box, this time moving in close until both of your lips are mere inches apart. “You’re mine, and forever will be.” 

In the blink of an eye, he presses his lips onto yours, devouring them as if there was no tomorrow. It was the first time you exchanged kisses, and you never realised how soft his lips were, and he knew how to cause butterflies in your stomach. He slowly moved his hands up to your neck and held it firmly, allowing him to deepen the kiss even further. 

As much as he wanted for it to last as long as he could, he pulled away and kissed your temple softly before whispering into your ear. 

“You wanted the truth, and I have given it to you. It’s up to you to do whatever you want with the information. But know that I’ll always be lurking in the shadows, keeping you safe from any harm before we can finally meet face-to-face again,” Hyunjae whispered. 

When he finally let go of his grip on you, a soft, sincere smile was plastered across his face before he disappeared into the darkness of the night, leaving you confused as hell as you laid your head back on the box. 

As the sound of the choppers began rumbling in the sky, indicating that the FBI had sent back up to rescue any of the surviving agents, you knew it was time to get up and head straight back to report at the headquarters. 

Before you did any of that, you decided to turn your direction right towards where Hyunjae had run off one last time before a single teardrop fell straight down onto the ground. 

“You have never once left my mind, Hyunjae. And now, you’re just making me go insane with whatever you have up against your sleeves.” 

A/N: i haven't written in months so this might not be the best but i tried 🥹

masterlist

taglist: @deoboyznet @kflixnet @k-films @flwoie @gluion @kyusqult @tinkerbell460 @sulkygyu @jaerisdiction @lngwayup @djidfk @daisyvisions (join my permanent taglist here!)

[atlabeth]

between colleagues - anthony lockwood

part 2

summary: besides, what's a bit of fake dating between colleagues anyway?

a/n: i have missed him!!! there is just something so fun about writing for l&co and anthony specifically i truly love their world and i love him!! this was originally going to be the entire thing in one fic but i decided to post this on its own and test the waters with you all because i am TIREd of writing long fics. free me from my prison. this is literally my third fake-dating fic bc i never get tired of the trope but lmk if you want to see more

wc: 3.1k

warning(s): fem!reader, mentions of: canon typical job stuff, a child dying (mentioned in passing. literally half a line), and a good ol fashioned breakdown. but this is almost completely fluff bc that's all in the background

You groaned as Lockwood pushed the door open, working through the knot in your shoulder while you all walked inside. You tossed your rapier into the umbrella stand, not even bothered by the clatter, and began unbuckling your belt. 

Winter was the worst season for ghost hunting. As if it weren’t already freezing enough dealing with Visitors and their effects, your most recent job was almost fully outside. You considered it a miracle hypothermia didn’t get you before any sort of ghost-touch.

“What are you groaning about?” Lockwood asked, glancing back at you. “I think tonight went rather well.” 

He’d removed his jacket, and his white undershirt was dirt-stained and damp with sweat. Though he looked unaffected as ever on the surface, the quickened rise and fall of his chest said, in his own way, he was just as exhausted as the rest of you. You raised an eyebrow, but Lucy beat you to the punch. 

“You think every night goes well if we come back alive,” she said wryly. 

“It’s not the best measurement,” George added. He tilted the iron charm over the door back into place then set his bag on the floor. “Tonight was rough, Lockwood. Even by your ridiculous terms.” 

Lockwood looked at you. “Anything you care to add?” 

You grimaced as you rubbed your shoulder. “I’m never breaking down a door for you like this again.” 

You did feel a bit like an action hero in the moment, but you regretted it soon after. Even more so when it didn’t even matter in the scheme of things—the source ended up being buried by the locked shed, not in the shed itself. At least you were now last in the rotation of opening suspicious doors. 

“You offered to,” Lockwood defended.  

“Because you said you would handle all the supply calls for the next week,” you said dryly. “And it looks like that may need to happen soon.” You held up your belt—once packed with salt bombs and magnesium flares, you’d emptied it completely trying to save all your lives. It was a sad sight. 

He frowned. “Even the flares?” 

“Even the flares,” you said. 

“I’m all out of them too,” George said. “Surprised we didn’t start a full-on forest fire in the backyard.” 

“I thought those would last longer.” Lockwood’s frown deepened. “They were quite expensive.” 

“At least we got paid a fair bit,” Lucy said. “And we did indeed get away with our lives.” 

“Barely,” George grumbled, kicking off his boots. He tossed his rapier haphazardly to the side, not even bothering to deposit it into your umbrella stand, and dropped his belt on the ground, still boasting a whole two remaining salt bombs. Your lip curled at the trail of chaos. “I’m going to bed. No one bother me for at least fifteen hours.” 

Lucy smiled, shaking her head as he walked off. “Dramatic, but he’s got the right idea. I’ll see you all tomorrow.” 

“See you, Luce,” Lockwood said. 

“I’ll be quiet when I come in,” you assured, and she gave an appreciative nod. Lucy dropped a stack of envelopes on the kitchen table before she went upstairs—it was her job to pick up the mail, and you were honestly surprised she remembered after all this. 

“You’re not mad at me,” Lockwood said, glancing at you as he went over to pick up the mail, “are you?” 

“No,” you sighed, and you flopped onto the couch, “just dramatic. More so than George tonight.” 

He chuckled and leaned against the counter, making deft work of the envelopes as he sorted them into piles. One for the never-ending junkmail that graced your door, and four others for each of you. “Good. I can never handle you being mad at me.” 

A smile tugged at your lips as you stared up at the ceiling. “You’re off the hook this time, so don’t worry.” 

“And I appreciate your mercy immensely,” he said. Another glance over at you. “You look exhausted. Are you sure you don’t want to turn in?”

You shook your head. “Our post-job detox is the most important part of all this. I can hold out for another hour.”

It was hardly a detox, but it had grown to become a necessity for you and Lockwood, sitting together and talking through everything in the wee hours of the night. 

One extremely tough case left you reeling harder than usual—children always got to you, and the girl’s death was particularly grisly—and apparently, Lockwood could tell. 

It took a couple days of gentle prodding, but one night, after being completely out of it in the archives with him that day, you broke—completely. Full on sobbing. Wholly embarrassing to do so in front of your boss, especially when he, George, and Lucy didn’t seem half as affected by it all. 

It turned out he was just better at covering it all up—Lockwood understood it all a lot better than you thought. He just sat with you in the living room and talked with you, talked you through it. There was a lot of crying, a fair bit of permanently swearing off ghost-hunting, and more than a bit of hatred against the entirety of the United Kingdom. 

By the end of it, though, after you’d cried yourself into a headache, gone through a quarter of a box of tissues, and actually worked out your problems with Lockwood’s help, you felt far better. 

Lockwood thereby forbade you from holding in your feelings until they burst, and so it became a routine—it was cheaper than therapy, and most therapists, save for the few former agents working in the field, couldn’t understand it anyways. You usually slumped on the couch, Lockwood usually leaning against the counter. Sometimes with tea, often with tears, always with slightly morbid jokes. 

“How’s your shoulder feeling?” Lockwood asked, snapping you out of your thoughts. 

“It’ll heal,” you said. “It’s mostly just sore. I’ll stay away from my rapier for a few days, sleep on my other side for once, and everything’ll be fine.” 

“Good.” The ruffling of paper stopped for a moment, and his voice was slightly sheepish when he spoke again. “Are you still up for that meeting with the Caldecotts tomorrow, then?” 

You groaned and screwed your eyes shut. “Lockwood, it is three in the bloody morning. You scheduled the Caldecotts for eleven.” 

“I didn’t know that this job would go on for so long!” he defended. “The last few have all wrapped up before midnight. It’s not my fault this Visitor was particularly elusive.” 

“I am drenched in sweat, Lockwood,” you said. “Half of my coat is burnt from plasm and the other half is frozen solid. There is still dirt under my fingernails, my boots are covered in spiderwebs, and I haven’t slept in twenty-three hours. And you want me to be ready to deal with Lorena Caldecott, the most annoying woman I think I have ever met, in eight measly hours?” 

“Yes,” he said brightly. That just got another groan out of you. 

“They made you in a lab, Anthony Lockwood,” you mumbled. “That’s the only explanation for how you’re still going.” 

He chuckled. “Alright, alright. I’ll phone them first thing tomorrow morning—well, later this morning, I suppose—and see if I can push it back another day.” 

“And if not, you’re doing this on your own,” you said, finally opening your eyes again to see him walking over. He handed you your stack of mail—hardly a stack, really, only consisting of four envelopes—and smiled, irritatingly pretty even with smudges of dirt on his face. There was a reason he got away with so much, and that smile was half of it. 

Lockwood said your name cloyingly. “Come on. You know I do interviews best when we’re together. You keep me on track.” 

“I knocked down a door for you, Lockwood!” you proclaimed. “Is that not enough to get me out of this?” 

“I took the supply calls,” he said, “and I’m pushing back the meeting. We’re even now.” 

“Fine,” you said, extremely grudgingly. “But you’re getting them to push it back at least until tomorrow, because once my head hits the pillow, I don’t think I’ll be up for at least twenty-four hours.” 

“Promise,” he said with a nod. 

You sighed, finally righting yourself so you could look at your mail, and glanced up at Lockwood as you picked them up. “You get anything interesting?”

He shook his head. “Unless you consider a letter from Fittes begging me to buy the newest edition of their manual interesting.”

You hummed and looked back down at yours. You slipped your finger under the seal and tore it open, chuckling a bit when you took it out.

“How about you?” Lockwood asked.

“25% off my next Dorothy Perkins purchase,” you said, holding the coupon up. “Very thrilling.”

“Incredibly so,” he nodded. “When’s the last time you even got something from there?” 

You huffed a laugh as you worked open the next envelope. “I bought a dress for my cousin’s graduation last year. Haven’t worn it since.”

“So doubly thrilling,” he said. 

You’d opened your mouth to shoot back, but instead you frowned as you pulled an embossed card out. You skimmed through it quickly enough but got the meaning all the same. 

“Huh,” you said. “My cousin is getting married.” 

Lockwood raised an eyebrow. “Dorothy Perkins cousin?”

You shook your head, still frowning. “No. Maternal aunt’s son. Dorothy Perkins was paternal aunt’s son.”

“Ah,” he said dryly, “how could I have made such a mistake?”

You didn’t even have the energy to retort back as you stared at the letter. “I suppose I’ll need to pull out that dress again. It’s an invite.”

“Congratulations,” Lockwood said. “Are you going to need time off?”

“I don’t even know if I should go,” you mumbled, leaning your head against the side of the couch. 

“Why wouldn’t you go?” he asked with a frown. 

“Because I haven’t seen my family in a while,” you said, “and I haven’t seen this side of the family in an even longer while.” 

Lockwood shrugged. “Then it’ll be a nice reunion.” 

“Lockwood,” you said, “I’ve lied to them.”

“…Okay,” he said slowly. “About what?”

You winced. “They think I have a boyfriend.” 

He still seemed lost. “Strange thing to lie about.”

“You don’t understand.” You sat up, putting the letter to the side. “My family’s from Liverpool, right? We’re all so busy that we never really have time to meet up, but I make it a point to call my mother a few times a month so she knows I’m still alive.” 

Lockwood nodded. “Yeah, I know. You usually call her after every rough case.” 

“Right. Because my mum hates my career,” you said. “I thought she was going to have a heart attack when I told her I’d scored my first job with Tendy’s. I thought she would actually pass away when I told her I quit Tendy’s for you.” You glanced at Lockwood. “She thinks you’re a lunatic, by the way.” 

He shrugged. “Many do.” 

You smiled and shook your head. “She hates that I’m an agent, but so long as I stay alive, she says she can deal with it. But she has a rule on our calls that I can’t talk about our jobs—says they give her nightmares. So instead, she talks about every facet of my personal life.” 

Lockwood’s eyes finally flashed with understanding and he nodded. “Hence the boyfriend lie?” 

“Hence the boyfriend lie,” you echoed. “She will not stop bothering me about it—apparently the dating life of her daughter is more important than anything else. So on our last call, I just lied and told her I had one to get her off of my back.”

Lockwood actually had the nerve to laugh. “And how did that work out for you?”

“It worked fine,” you said, “and it was going to continue to be fine. But then Will had to go out and get engaged, the dolt.”

“So just go on your own,” he suggested. 

“I can’t show up alone,” you grumbled. “Not only would it be completely embarrassing, but the questions would start up all over again.” 

“Then don’t go.” 

“I can’t not go!” you exclaimed. “Will’s a lovely cousin.” 

“You just called him a dolt,” Lockwood said. 

“I call you a dolt all the time,” you said. “Doesn’t mean I don’t like you.” 

Lockwood chuckled and shook his head, and that was when an idea came to you. There was a slight furrow in his brow when he glanced back at you. 

“I don’t like that look.” 

“Come to the wedding with me,” you said suddenly. 

Lockwood’s expression sobered even further. “You can’t be serious.” 

“It’s the perfect solution!” you exclaimed, moving to the edge of the couch as you clasped your hands together. 

“You want me to be your pretend boyfriend,” he deadpanned. When you nodded, he shook his head in disbelief. “You’ve got to be joking.”

“Why would I be joking?” you asked. “You’re quite possibly the best candidate for it all. We’re best friends, we know each other well— God, I’ve talked about you enough in general to my mum that she won’t even be surprised that it ended up being you.” 

Lockwood’s eyebrows rose. “Won’t they look down on you dating your boss?” 

“You’re hardly my boss,” you said. 

“I pay your salary,” he said. “You live in my house. My name is on the door.” 

“I don’t see how that’s relevant,” you said. “Besides, you owe me after tonight!” 

He frowned. “We just agreed that we were even.” 

“Well, I lied,” you said. “My shoulder is in excruciating pain from knocking that door down, and the only way for it to heal is for you to pretend to be my boyfriend.” 

He gave you a wry look and said your name. “Come on. This is an awful idea.” 

“It’s a brilliant idea,” you said. “You get a chance to dress up and charm an entire family—you live for that sort of stuff, Lockwood. I finally get my family off my back with some actual proof and I actually get a break for once.” 

You saw the uncertainty on his face and you huffed. “Don’t give me that look. This is the exact sort of plan you’d come up with and try to force on me if it meant we’d get a hand up.” 

“I know,” he said grudgingly, “that’s why I don’t like it. It’s dangerous when you start learning my tricks.” 

“Please, Lockwood,” you begged. “I’ll do all your chores for the rest of the month. I’ll shake Lorena Caldecott’s hand with a smile on my face.”

“That is tempting,” he said wryly. “I can never fold my dress shirts the way you do.”

“Wrinkle-free dress shirts,” you said with a gesture. “And— and, I will cash in my favor with Arif. Discounted doughnuts for the next three months.”

Lockwood’s eyes widened. “You’ve got favors with Arif?”

You shrugged. “I helped him out a couple times with ghost things.”

He huffed a laugh and shook his head. “You really are something.”

“Discounted doughnuts, Lockwood,” you continued. “Discounted doughnuts and wrinkle-free shirts and my best behavior for the Caldecotts, no matter how sleep-deprived I am.”

“…This really means a lot to you,” Lockwood said after a moment, “doesn’t it.”

You nodded. “My family— my mum—will never lay off if I show up alone. If you’re on my arm, you talk a bit about yourself and compliment me a few times and charm them with literal ghost stories, then I’m off the hook for good.”

Lockwood pursed his lips, his arms folded across his chest as he thought it through. 

“Please,” you said. “It’ll just be one night.”

After another moment, he let out a sigh almost as dramatic as your earlier ones, but his lips quirked up at the corners.

“Fine,” Lockwood said. “I’ll go with you.” 

Your eyes widened. “You will?” 

“Yes,” he said with a laugh. “It— it’ll be fine—you’re right. We’ve been living together for the past year and a half—we know each other well enough to sell it. And with half the agency going out for it, I can write off any hotels or dinners as business expenses.” 

That got a laugh out of you too, and you shook your head. “You are my savior, Lockwood. Truly.” 

“Just means we’re back in your court on favors,” he joked. “And you know what? I think this could actually be fun.” 

“Really?” 

“Really,” he nodded. “Besides,” Lockwood smiled wryly at you as he stood up from his spot against the counter, “what’s a bit of fake dating between colleagues anyway?”

You huffed a laugh and finally managed to pull yourself back up into a sitting position. You cracked your neck and rubbed your shoulder, grimacing a bit at the soreness but thankful that it wasn’t worse. “Can we work out the rest of the details later? I’m exhausted, and I know you’ve got to be running on fumes.” 

His smile softened and he nodded. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Later today, I suppose.” He frowned as he looked at the clock. “God. It really is late.” 

You hummed in agreement as you unlaced your boots, trying your best to avoid the spiderwebs when you took them off. That was your number one question about the Problem—why the hell did spiders have to gravitate towards ghosts? 

“Get some sleep, Lockwood,” you said, setting your boots with everyone else’s shoes. That mess was an issue for another day. “You’ve got to be refreshed—those supply calls aren’t going to make themselves.” 

Lockwood rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t completely bite back his smile. “Best behavior for the Caldecotts, love.” 

“And nothing less!” you exclaimed without turning around, pointing in the air as you continued up the stairs. You heard Lockwood laugh behind you, and the sound brought out a smile of your own. 

It was now nearly four in the bloody morning. Your shoulder still ached, your coat was beyond repair, and you would have to scrub beneath your nails for at least ten minutes before you settled in tonight. But somehow, Lockwood still had you smiling and feeling better about the whole experience. 

For god’s sake, you fought ghosts on a daily basis. You’d been training with a rapier since the tender age of eight. Your skills rivaled some of Fittes’ and Rotwell’s best—who cared what your family had to say about you? 

You were right. This wedding would be a piece of cake with Anthony Lockwood by your side.

[lisacameron99]

All You Had To Do Was Stay ||JM

It’s in a reader insert name but first POV. Angsty and fluffy.

Warnings: angst, JJ is confusing (that's a warning in itself), physical abuse, mental abuse, Topper is a dick, swearing and harsh language

“Sarah!” I breathed in relief when she answered the FaceTime call.

“Hey! What’s up?”

“He’s texting me again.” I groaned, throwing myself on the bed.

“What did he say?” She asked, plugging her headphones in as I did the same.

“Just that he misses me. It’s nothing new. I just want to text him back but I know I shouldn’t. He’s probably drunk, high, or both.”

“Well I mean I agree with that but I also support you if you want to text him.”

“I just don’t know, the more I think, the more confused I get.” I told her. “I feel like I know less now than I did before.”

“I’m sorry girl, I know it’s confusing.” Sarah told me, “I wish he would just make up his mind.”

“All he had to do was stay.” I said sadly. “He had me every way imaginable but he shut me out, just like everybody else.”

“Hey, he made a mistake. He doesn’t know what he’s lost now that you’re gone.”

“Ugh! It just sucks because he literally had me in the palm of his hand.”

We talked for a little longer about different things for about a half hour before I hung up and thought more about my relationship with JJ, even seven months after we were no longer together.

Flashback

“I just don’t think I’m in a place to be in a relationship right now.” JJ told me, staring into the fire and not at me. He wouldn’t look at me.

“You’re calling this off?” I stood off to the side, trying to gauge his reaction.

“Yeah, I guess I am.”

“Dont expect me to wait around for you to figure your shit out J. I did everything you ever asked of me just for you to call it quits when you get in to deep? Fuck you.”

“You don’t get to tell me what to do and not to.”

“You locked me out just because you got scared. You do this all the time. You made me believe I was different, that we were different, that you were different. Different from Topper but you’re not.” My eyes watered. “You strung me along just because you knew you could.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” JJ snapped, still staring into the fire.

“I know exactly what I’m talking about. You think you can come crawling back, but I’m not gonna be there when you want me.”

“You’re my best friend - I don’t know why we thought this would work.”

“No, Johnny’s your best friend. We were always more. You’re just too scared to admit it.” I snapped at him before walking back into the chateau where Johnny was. I pushed myself into his arms and cried.

“Hey, y/n!” Johnny called to me, clearly distressed. I scrambled out of my bed and into the living room at the urgency in his voice.

“JJ,” I when I saw John B drag him in. His face was covered in blood, he had a swollen eye. “Oh my God. JJ.” I rushed over to where John B put him on the couch. “What happened?” I immediately disregarded my feelings and went straight to JJ.

“Pretty sure the eye is from Luke, but that’s from a day or two ago. I think he and Topper got into a fight at the kegger. Pope pulled him to me but I didn’t see it. Listen, can you clean him up? I have to go make sure Sarah, Pope, and Kiara got out of there.”

“Yeah,” I brushed the hair out of JJ’s face. “I’ll take care of him. You take the rest home. Oh JJ.”

“I’m fine,” he pushed my hand away, but I brought it back to his face.

“You’re not.” JJ let his arm fall limp and sighed. “JJ why do you do this shit?”

“He said horrible stuff about you.” I grabbed the first aid kit from the cupboard and some rubbing alcohol.

“Who did?” But I already knew it was Topper.

“Topper. Talking about how you’d sleep with him since you’re not with me anymore, how you’d go back to him. Saying how you’re sleeping with him now.”

“JJ, I’m not, I never slept with - ” but JJ cut me off.

“I know that, but I couldn’t stand hearing him talk about you like that. Acting as if you’re a slut, and you’re not. I know you're not.”

"You didn't need to get into a fight about it." I muttered while I got the cotton ball wet with rubbing alcohol.

"You know, you're worth fighting for." JJ snapped, getting angry.

I pressed the ball to his face, which made him hiss. "JJ, you left me. I think that means you don't fight over me anymore."

JJ grabbed my wrist, "I don't care what terms we are on, I will always fight for you."

"Why? Why fight for me when you won't act on it?" I demanded, pressing the band-aid to his face before walking to the kitchen to get a bag of frozen food for moments like this when JJ and John B got into fights.

"I love you." JJ said simply, like it was the easiest thing in the whole world.

"JJ, don't say shit you don't mean."

"I do mean it. I know you don't believe me, but I swear, I do mean it." I closed my eyes as I reached the fridge/freezer. I gripped the door handle before opening it.

"It's hard to believe you when all I've done for you is try to help you, try to love you, try to be there for you." I slammed the freezer door shut hard. "And you leave when you feel like you're in too deep? That's low JJ. Really low. And now," I handed him the corn. "You say you love me? What the fuck is that?"

"It means I fucking love you okay?" JJ was growing impatient with me. "I love you, Y/N. I always have. And I know it's really hard to see that right now, but I do love you. I promise. You have to know that I mean it. I don't just say that I love people, let alone when I'm with somebody."

"I know that JJ, but I can't be in a relationship when you continually dip when it gets hard." I ran a frustrated hand through my hair before putting the first aid kit away.

"I'm not going to dip anymore."

"But how do I know that?" I demanded. "How do I know you love me?"

"Because right now, I'm here, fighting with you, instead of trying to sleep off the fight with Topper and my dad. I know that when you're stressed enough to cry, you go to John B, but when you're angry, you talk to Sarah. I know that despite trying to be strong about your dad for John B, you miss him more than you'll admit to yourself. I know that you're jealous of Kiara's life no matter how much she complains about it. I know that you're just as smart as Pope but you never brag about it because you don't want to show off or take the spotlight off him. But if you need more reasons why I love you, I can do this all night."

"We aren't Brooke and Lucas from One Tree Hill, JJ."

"No, we're not, but I also know that's you're favorite scene from that show and one of you're all time favorites."

I sat down on the floor next to the couch. "JJ, if we do this, if we really do this again, you have to be all in."

"I am." JJ slid off the couch and next to me and hooked my pinky with his. "I'm all in."

"Even when it gets hard and messy? And if you find yourself getting in too deep or scared, you have to talk to me." I let my fears come through.

"I will. I'm here for it all. I love you. I want us.”

"Okay," I bit down on my lip. “Can we take it slow?”

"Can I kiss you?" JJ asked, tucking a hair behind my ear and cupping my face in his hand.

"When have you ever asked me that before?" And with that, he lowered his mouth on mine.