#looking around like wow… my life was so different in january

[cozycelestials]

cooking dinner & slapping music while my twins dance & spin around in the home i got for us is filling me w so much gratitude & joy 🥲

[jmdbjk]

Privates First Class Park Jimin and Jeon Jungkook: Our first real look.

Jimin and Jungkook. I know, I'm being insufferable but I can't NOT dwell on them a little more. Festa activities will make us move past this so fast as things always do in BTS Army life.

But you don't realize how much is bottled up or how starving you've been until you finally get to feast on that one thing you've been missing. That didn't sound very appealing and I'm not really that pathetic (its mostly the busy-ness inside my head) but you know what I mean, right? I've missed them soooo much!

Military life seems to have been going well for them. Since January we've had very little news about them. Just military blips here and there... training with U.S. Marines... kitchen police... cooking rice... cleaning from top to bottom... learning to aim big-ass missiles and hitting targets and living on rations for a week. Even receiving recognition for outstanding service.

Almost every day I imagine them doing their daily duties and all... but there was little to go by. And that's fine. Some of those things I don't want to think about. But that's what they are doing every day.

Seeing them in real time in the flesh is very reassuring.

One thing that was noticeable to me is that Jimin and Jungkook did not look like their usual sleepy-head selves they are at that time of the morning. But they both looked strong and composed. Going to bed every night like a normal person and getting a good night's sleep is a healthy habit they will probably break the moment they are discharged.

Jimin... just wow. His hair grew out. No more buzz cut. But also, the duality continues:

Someone posted a comparison pic of Jimin's painted nails and a close up of his hands which now have what look like healed spots on his hands and knuckles and scuffed nails... I don't have the pic but it shows how he's fully immersed in his military duties. Hands do get beat up somewhat when you work with them a lot.

Jungkook looked amazing.

Jungkook's little burn scars... that damn edge of the oven or hot pan will get you when you least expect it! Got him twice too! Ouchie! I hope it didn't bother him for too long. To the infirmary!

He'll get Polyc to cover that up with a new tattoo. Or maybe design one around it to highlight Jungkook's battle scars he received while an enlisted man.

One thing they are most likely gaining now is self-confidence in the ability to do something NOT in their wheelhouse. Leading people or working with people who are not the ones they used to see day in and day out for ten years. Learning new skills, being part of a different team, doing different things can be enriching and will enhance other parts of their lives.

Not being with the people who are paid to be there to make sure they look good and every whim is taken care of....the isolation had to be culture shock for them. Knowing they are together, that center of familiarity when they are faced with something new, is a great source of comfort.

Jimin and Jungkook showed up to Jin's discharge in full uniform. I will assume they arrived together straight from their base, where they must remain in their uniforms at all times.

Hugs all around. Jimin's are the best, most heartfelt hugs.

Jimin and Tae's hug... I felt that shit. The squeeze, the "no, don't let go yet," the fullness of it. They mean a lot to each other. I know they've always been close, they've told us so, they've reminded us they speak to each other often even when they weren't working as a group.

And I'm sorry but the awkward side hug between Tae and JK was not "tHeY jUsT sPeNt TiMe ToGeThEr." Be for real. Are you fucking blind? That was Tae saying "bro, didn't realize you walked up behind me, are you not gonna hug me too?" And JK going "oh, well, ok if you insist, bro (since you won't let go of my wrist)."

No, Jimin and Jungkook did not hug each other... they just got out of the car that they rode in from their base where they live together. Where they showered and got dressed and ate breakfast together before getting in the car. It is perplexing how that is even a question I see people put out there.

There was curiosity as to whether Jimin and Jungkook were on day leave or what and initially seeing them in uniform the first assumption is that they might be only on temporary day leave and would have to return to base that evening. But then we got the group pic at the Hybe building and Jimin and Jungkook had changed clothes. From what I understand, when a soldier is on day leave, they must remain in uniform AT ALL TIMES during that day. No quick change into some other clothes for a while. REMAIN IN UNIFORM AT ALL TIMES NO MATTER WHAT. So them being in civvies tells us they are on vacation/days off. We don't know how much time they took off but perhaps they won't go back to the base until Monday.

During their days off they will probably separate and go do their own thing. Maybe they will take time to go to Busan and visit fam. Most likely, Jungkook will go check on the progress of the Itaewon house construction (the exterior of JK's new house is black and it will have a tiny balcony that faces the street and appears to have some livable rooftop space). Jungkook may visit Bam. They may visit their other friends. Since the entire group was there, they most likely shared how they were doing and most likely talked about next year.

The delulu mode has activated...

[thefrogdalorian]

Dincember Day 23: Frost

Word Count: 1719 Rating: General Summary: You and Din wake up one morning to discover the volcanic planet you call home has been plunged into a deep frost. You are awestruck by the gleaming ground and the icy crystals that cling to every surface. You and Din decide to head out for a walk with Grogu, who is fascinated by the way his favourite pond has frozen over. Content Warnings: None! Author's Note: Poor Grogu. I keep making him suffer, I promise I love him! He's just a funny little green gremlin. The last two entries will tie pretty closely to this one but wow, can't believe it's almost over. I've had so much fun writing this series and I'll miss it, but there are some ideas in here I'll expand on come January!

Link to read on AO3 | My Dincember Masterlist

Despite the lava flats dotted throughout its surface and the fact that it was technically a volcanic planet, Nevarro was not always sweltering and had different seasons. Throughout the year, it rarely rained; the climate remained mild throughout most of the year, but the temperature would drop towards the end of the year, particularly around Life Day. Although there was lava to be found on Nevarro, it was nothing compared to a planet like Mustafar, a volcanic hellscape. The entire planet was an angry red thanks to the lava that boiled on its surface. Surely it was a blisteringly hot, punishing environment. You had never been, but the planet was legendary, known throughout the galaxy.

There was an expression you had heard used often since childhood. When something was unlikely to happen, people would laugh and say: “Mustafar will freeze over first.” It was an amusing expression as obviously the thought of a planet as sweltering as Mustafar freezing over was ludicrous. Similarly, the thought of Nevarro freezing over was an idea that you thought equally ludicrous until, one morning, when you woke up to an empty cot and Din calling your name. You swung your legs over the side of the cot, wiping your bleary eyes with the back of your hand as you blinked rapidly to adjust to the light. There was a certain stillness and quietness; the light that filtered in was weak and pale. It appeared to be early morning. You and Din did not have plans and you had planned for a relaxing day, you wondered what had roused him from bed so early. 

Din was standing by the window in the main room of your little cabin, still clad in the cotton clothes he slept in with a curious look on his face. There was something out there that was clearly capturing his attention . As you made your way across the room to discover what it was, you wondered what he was captivated by. As soon as you moved to stand next to him, though, you understood perfectly. 

The usually ashen, grey-brown surface of the volcanic planet you called home had turned white. Every surface was glistening, reflecting the low sun in the sky. By some festive miracle, the entire planet was covered in what appeared to be a deep frost. You had never seen anything like it for all the time you lived here. You had encountered snow before, but frost was something different, the way the ice clung to every inch of the planet, the little icicles gleaming as they coated the plants by the pond just in front of the cabin. The pond itself had frozen, creating a pristine, glassy surface that you had a strange desire to skate across, even though you had no idea how deep it was. Besides, it had been years since you had ice skated. The rocks at the frozen pond’s edge looked like some precious jewel, the way they sparkled as you turned your head to take in the sights.

“It’s incredible, isn’t it?” Din finally asked, breaking the awe-struck silence that the two of you had fallen into, utterly mesmerised by the frozen surface of the planet before you.

“I’ve never seen anything like this on Nevarro before,” You agreed, nodding in wonderment. 

“No, I wonder what caused weather like this,” Din pondered. “I don’t think this is normal.”

“It’s a miracle!” You exclaimed. “Just in time for Life Day, too,” You added, referring to the rapidly approaching holiday

Din looked around at you, raising an eyebrow, the corners of his lips pulled down into a slight frown. His eyes were shimmering in mirth though… you knew there was no genuine disapproval there. You conceded that perhaps your enthusiasm had been a step slightly too far for him. Considering Din had limited experience of the season’s traditions before he met you, he approached the traditions you introduced him to with as much enthusiasm as someone who had celebrated Life Day all their life. But you still got the sense that Din did not entirely share all of your festive merriment, so sometimes you liked to be a little cheesy to get underneath his skin. 

“We should go for a walk,” Din suggested, “After Grogu is awake and we’ve eaten, we should appreciate this frost while it’s here.”

“Sounds great, Din,” You sighed. 

You went to the fresher to prepare for the day while Din woke Grogu up and did the same. Din had already been to the kitchen and brewed a much-needed pot of caf, which you gratefully helped yourself to, given the early start to your day. You then placed some bowls, milk and cereal on the table in preparation for a simple family breakfast that would fuel you for the long frosty walk.

Din and Grogu eventually made their entrance. Din had dressed in his beskar’gam, save for his helmet. Grogu was clad in the red snow suit that Din had purchased before your little getaway in the snowy mountains. The garment was coming in surprisingly handy now as it would keep the little boy warm from the cold outside. 

The three of you enjoyed your breakfast together; you and Din continued discussing how surprised you were at the remarkable frost and memories of such frozen conditions at other times in your life. After cleaning away the dishes, it was time to head out on the walk. You laced up your boots in the hallway and pulled on the red coat that you had had such a stressful time finding, but were now delighted with. It fit you perfectly and matched Grogu’s red snowsuit. You were ready to head out.

“Are you warm enough?” You asked Din, wondering how warm his armour really kept him.

“Yes thank you, cyare,” Din nodded, his helmet now resting on his head. “The flightsuit can be insulating or cooling depending on the temperature, and my helmet is climate controlled,” Din explained.

You nodded, he had probably informed you of such functions before but this time, you had an ulterior motive for such a line of questioning. You just had one little addition to Din’s outfit though. You smirked as you grabbed the red scarf that you had bought for him from a local tailor on your snowy vacation to the moutains. You and Grogu were wrapped up from the elements in red items of clothing, so it only seemed proper that Din joined you. You put the scarf around Din’s neck, tying it gently and smiling as you stepped back to admire your handiwork.

“Much better,” You nodded. “Now we’re all matching.”

Din scoffed and shook his head. Then he grabbed your hand, holding Grogu in his other arm. The three of you headed out into the frosty winter wonderland. You delighted in the sound of the frost crunching underneath your boots, it was instantly comforting. It was a sound you had not heard for many years, believing that moving here to Nevarro would mean you would never experience such cold weather again. How wrong you were. Now, you had made memories in freezing temperatures in a picturesque snowy moutain village thanks to the trip Din had treated you to and, shortly after returning, there was this unseasonable frost on Nevarro.

Grogu was seemingly delighted by the freezing conditions too, his eyes wide in amazement as he took in his surroundings. You and Din had intended to go for a long walk, but you didn’t make it far before Grogu began chirping loudly. He gestured his little hands towards something. Din stopped and you looked at him questioningly. 

“The pond, perhaps he’s worried about his frogs,” Din shrugged.

“Awww, I’m sure they’re alright, little guy,” You reassured Grogu. “The surface is frozen, but they’re probably still swimming around underneath.”

Grogu nodded at your reassurances, but he continued gesturing towards the pond; clearly something was still on his mind. You and Din walked towards the edge of the pond and Din eventually placed Grogu down on one of the rocks so he could see the ice up close and watch for any of his frog friends beneath the surface. But Grogu was seemingly not satisfied to watch from afar; the mischievous little boy was soon pushing himself off the rock and making tentative steps towards the ice, before you and Din could do anything to stop him.

“Grogu!” Din exclaimed, moving towards his son as he stepped out onto the frozen surface. 

But before Din could scoop Grogu up, the child used the Force to leap into the centre of the pond, out of Din’s reach. Your heart was in your mouth as you watched him, fearing that you would soon hear the distinctive cracking noise of ice breaking. But mercifully, that did not happen. As Grogu took cautious steps across the frozen pond, his little feet were scrabbling against the icy surface and his arms were outstretched to keep him balanced. You and Din marvelled at both how cautious he was treading and how well he was maintaining his balance, given that he only had the red booties of his snowsuit on his feet, rather than any shoes made specially for ice.

“He’s a natural!” You commented in amazement at Grogu’s balance on the ice.

“He is,” Din said proudly. “We should get him some real skates.”

It seemed that you had spoken too soon. Everything was going so well, until there was a heartstopping moment where Grogu’s legs went from underneath him and he flopped down onto the ice. You waited with baited breath to see how Grogu would respond – was he hurt? But mercifully after a few moments, you heard the most wonderful sound: Grogu's laughter. It seemed that Grogu’s little tumble on the ice had not affected him too badly.

“You alright, bud?” Din asked as he leaned over to scoop Grogu up, fortunately the little boy was sufficiently close to the edge of the pond that Din could reach him.

Grogu gave a happy chirp and you reached over to stroke his cheek with the back of your fingers. You were relieved that he was alright and your walk could continue. You were eager to explore the planet that had been transformed into a frost-bitten paradise and make the most of such a rare occurrence.

With a spring in your step, you set off for a walk across the gleaming surface of Nevarro, holding hands with an equally shiny Mandalorian. Din's armour, too, was gleaming, save for the red scarf slung around his neck, a way to ensure the three members of your little Clan were matching. You sighed deeply and smiled at the sound of the frost crunching underneath your boots as you gazed around in wonderment at the deep frost.

[mamawasatesttube]

▵ for made for sunny days

❖ for storm in a bottle and aftershocks (i look forward to seeing how you surprise me!)

↻ for your ghost i will gladly bear

<3 <3 <3

▵ pick a fic and I’ll tell you my favorite line

The phone on the nightstand buzzes. Cass doesn’t bother checking what it says, but Tim leans over to peek at the screen, then smirks. He rests a hand atop Kon’s head, fondness and love radiating through him despite all his snarky words.

i cheated a little by going for a passage rather than line, but shh. its just like... the way cass specifically as narrator can so easily see the way tim is worried and full of love he doesn't know what to do with. tim and kon are more focused on what they're both saying to each other, but to cass it's about the underlying emotion. it's also about tim being a bitch. i enjoy when tim is a bitch.

❖ pick 2 fics and I’ll combine them somehow

(storm in a bottle and aftershocks!)

ohoho this is definitely a single scene in the aftermath of the climax (i.e. tim finding out that superfam are selkies). he suddenly understands why lois stared at him like she was thinking of boring a hole in his head with her eyes, and why clark looked so analytical and unhappy, that day he fell into the harbor in january and kon fished him out, bundled him up in his favorite grey jacket, and brought him home to take care of him.

because. kon's favorite grey jacket. his pelt. he never lets anyone touch it, after how horribly he was abused for it as a child when he didn't even know. and he wrapped it around tim to keep him warm. to save his life. how much did it hurt him to do that? how violated did he feel, while tim soaked in a hot bath to stave off hypothermia?

tim didn't know. at the time, he had no idea. but now he knows, and the guilt is eating him alive. not knowing isn't a good excuse for how he clutched it around his shoulders, digging his fingers into the manifestation of kon's personhood. he can't fathom how kon can even stand to look at him anymore, let alone touch him.

he needs to apologize. he needs to. the guilt and horror are an anchor around his neck, and he's going to drown.

(meanwhile kon is just out here like yippee yaaaay tim in my jacket <3 <3 <3 yaaayyyyy yippee wahoo yay tim wow yayy yippee yay yay!!)

↻ pick a fic and a different ship and I’ll tell you how I’d rewrite it

your ghost i will gladly bear

HM!!!! oyl tim + robin kon is such a specific situation it's kind of hard to transpose that dynamic onto other ships without a lot of fiddling. that being said, i AM thinking about your cissiecassie + cassierose au where cissie is cassie's very beloved, very dead wife and cassie is So Fucking Normal about it. the cassie from that verse meeting a cissie from a dead wife cassie universe...

honestly if they're adults and they were married to each other and then lost each other. i think they would have some very emotional messy sex and then both feel so guilty about it afterwards, as if they both cheated on their dead wives. if you say "HOT FUCKING MESS YIKES YIKES YIKES!" in the mirror three times at midnight, the outline for this fic will manifest in your home.

[black-arcana]

INTERVIEW – LIV KRISTINE TALKS MUSIC, NEW BEGINNINGS + MORE

If we are honest with ourselves, we may ask… what defines us? A very lofty question to ponder, the truth lies in finding a place between the light and darkness of life, all while still being able to remain grounded on earth. This could mean something different for everyone, but for Liv Kristine salvation is within music, family, and helping others. 

Known by many in the Metal world as the Scandinavian Goth Queen, Kristine has left an impression throughout the last three plus decades of her musical career. First doing so as a part of Theatre of Tragedy, then with Leaves’ Eyes, she has also cleared a path as a solo artist. Taking with her experiences – some good, others bad, and others heartbreaking – Kristine finds deeper meaning in everything as she looks toward the future. 

Recently returning in 2023 with the exceptional, must-listen River of Diamonds album, now in 2024 she reflects on the past with the recently reissued, remastered edition of her 1998 solo debut album Deus Ex Machina. Truly exciting times, Kristine recently took some time to reflect on the trials and tribulations of life, finding a way to see through it, plans for more new music, plus much more. 

Cryptic Rock – A lot has happened over the last decade with you musically, as well as personally. Briefly tell us, how would you describe the past ten years of your life? 

Liv Kristine – Yes. There’s been a lot of change… especially in 2016. That was in mid-end January, the beginning of February 2016, when I was forced to leave Leaves’ Eyes. I was just left with a lot of doubt. I thought – How am I going to continue producing and releasing albums, or go on stage with this frequency of great disappointment? I was very disappointed; because Leave’s Eyes was my baby too. It was all about my Norwegian heritage; it had a concept which was really tightly linked to my own persona and history.

I had to get up again, and of course, take care of my family, moving home, etc. This is to go along with all of the stuff that goes with a divorce… it is just terrible. Those times were really harsh. I knew times were going to be really rough and busy for a couple of years. You always need a couple of years to stabilize after such a traumatic experience. I saw that there definitely had to come something afterwards; something much lighter and brighter.

I worked really hard day by day, having different jobs. Eventually, people kept coming into my life I learned to trust and to embrace. I also met my now real husband, Michael, who asked me the question, “Do you really want to continue singing? Do you want to continue being an artist? Will you ever go on stage again?” As I thought about that question, I really started crying because it’s such a big part of my life. It’s just so personal as well as authentic. There is this deep connection to you all out there.

That frequency kept me going and promised my husband, “Okay, if we do this together, I will continue with what seems to be my way of serving the world, of serving the universe.” At the same time, what came out of those stressful times, and having different jobs, is that I’m now devoted to working with children with special needs. I have a 100% job, next to music, working and supporting children with special needs. I’ve come to a point in my life where I’m really grateful for everything and for any experience. Under the bottom line, that is who I am. It’s due to my experience for which I am so grateful. You guys are still around… it means something. It’s all worth it.

Cryptic Rock – Wow. It sounds like it has been a pretty crazy, turbulent ride. All together, you have a very interesting story to tell that follows your career. There was Theatre of Tragedy, and we know what happened there, and then there was Leaves’ Eyes. It has to be tough to deal with such letdowns. What would you say your key to move forward through the disappointments has been?

Liv Kristine – It’s this inner call that there is this true, authentic version of yourself which really wants to manifest. If you survive tragedies, traumas, really rough situations, and a lot of stress, that’s a clear sign that you’re actually getting closer to your true self.

River of Diamonds, my latest solo album which was released last year, is actually about that path. Seeing the diamonds, seeing the light in the darkness. When do you see the stars and the planets in the horizon, when you look into the universe? It’s only in the darkness.

I think that both experiences, brokenness and beauty, belong to our experience which is called life. It is that time given to us between what we call birth and death. If you manage to survive, as stated, it’s a clear sign that you’re getting closer to your true authentic self.

Theatre of Tragedy – Theatre of Tragedy Theatre of Tragedy – Aegis Massacre (1995) Massacre  (1998)

Cryptic Rock – That is definitely something that you feel when you have children. It is really inspiring to see you have pushed forward through everything. You mentioned the album River of Diamonds. Released last year, it is new, but also harks back to your earlier days. It has a very Theatre of Tragedy sound. Returning to a more Gothic Metal sound, tell us about the creation of this record. 

Liv Kristine – Yes, you’re so right. It’s Tommy Olsson, who is the producer and the composer of the album. Tommy was the guy who composed the third release by Theatre of Tragedy; 1998’s Aégis. Tommy and I both left Theatre of Tragedy… he left just around the period when I was gone. We got together again and it was just something that happened all of a sudden. I’m so grateful that Tommy kept sending me songs; I think I have received about 35 compositions. I was free to choose, to pick, and just to go with the flow.

Tommy has always been very patient with me; because I needed time to get settled, to take care of my family, my jobs, etc. Plus there was everything that happened after 2016… which was the year when Tommy reached out to get in touch. Between 2016 and 2023, when the album was released, a few years passed by, but I needed that time. I needed that space. I needed to really feel the flow of creativity returning to me after a stressful period. Tommy is definitely the right guy to work with going back to that well-known sound of Theatre of Tragedy. It was a great corporation.

Cryptic Rock – It certainly was. If people are not aware of the River of Diamonds, hopefully they are learning about it, because it was one of the biggest surprises of 2023. Will there be further collaboration between you and Tommy?

Liv Kristine – I’m sure there will be. As we are talking now, I began working with new compositions for my seventh solo album. I’m just going with the flow now. I’ll see what comes from Tommy’s side; if he wants to sit down and compose. I know he has a 100% job himself. We’ll see what happens. Sharing this release with Tommy was absolutely magic.

Cryptic Rock – It really is a great listen and hopefully more will come from it. You also recently re-released your debut solo album on March 1st. Released for the first time on vinyl, it is also available as a double CD, which also has some unreleased bonus tracks as well. It’s almost like being reborn in a way, because you have a new life now. Did it feel like this was a great way to revisit the past, be reborn again, and re-show this material to the world?

Liv Kristine – I couldn’t have said it in a better way. Thank you so much. It’s exactly that. I recently turned 48 years old on Valentine’s Day, and I consider myself to be just in the middle of life. It just feels amazing to be here with everything I am and everything I’ve experienced. The work leading to the release of River of Diamonds was like writing a book. I believe, if I hadn’t released the album, I would have released a book.

Now, being just in the middle of everything and feeling better than ever, it’s like a second half of my life has just started. Re-releasing Deus Ex Machina is just the perfect moment to just round it up. Back then in 1998, when Deus Ex Machina was released, I was a student. I was still a singer of Theatre of Tragedy. I had just left Norway, moved to Germany, and I was touring with Theatre of Tragedy. It was a very exciting time.

Being a Norwegian young woman born somewhere in the nowhere of Norway, between the fjords and the mountains, I was then in the middle of everything. The world responds to something you are doing because you love it so much. Everything we did with Theatre of Tragedy was something we really burned for; something that came from the heart. The world starts reacting, and then there is fame and there is success. Obviously, Massacre Records was interested in releasing the solo album, and I’m still grateful for that. It feels like this moment is just perfect for the reissue of Deus Ex Machina.

Cryptic Rock – Agreed, It is a great time to re-release. It is a good way to also reintroduce some people to an album that perhaps they have not heard in a while, or who have not heard at all.

Enter My Religion Liv Kristine – Vervian Reissue Allegro Talent Media (2022) Napalm Records (2014)

Cryptic Rock – That is very interesting. For this re-release, the whole album is also remastered, correct? 

Liv Kristine – Yes. Everything is remastered. As you already mentioned, there is bonus material. We got hold of an old hard disk and we have added a couple of demos from that. We recomposed “Portrait: Ei tulle med øyne blå,” a traditional Norwegian Folk song, which was recomposed by Geir Bratland (the keyboardist of Dimmu Borgir). It’s just perfect because he’s Norwegian too. He knows all about this Norwegian traditional stuff. I’m very happy about that. We changed the artwork, added new pictures, and everything is just perfect now. I’m very happy that we really got hold of the original material for it.

Cryptic Rock – That is great to hear. On top of this, you also have re-released the song “3 AM,” featuring you with Nick Holmes from Paradise Lost, as a single. A great song with clear chemistry between you two, what was it like connecting with Nick? 

Liv Kristine – Absolutely. It was a great honor to work with him. Back then, in 1997-98, I was already a huge fan of Paradise Lost. I remember that cold morning when we picked him up from a tour. He was touring Europe Paradise Lost, they had played a show in Germany, or were about to play a show in Germany. We went there by car with Massacre Records, we knocked on the door of the tour bus, and Nick was a little bit tired. I think because I guess there had been some partying going on after the show. Nick was ready though and was in a good mood. He went with us to the studio, asked for a cup of tea, and a slice of bread with marmalade.

The frequency was just so open-minded and open-hearted at the very first time we met. Later, during the times when touring with Leaves’ Eyes, we toured with Paradise Lost, and it was always a pleasure and an honor to meet Nick again. I really appreciate his direct way, his transparency, and he always being himself. I appreciate that.

Cryptic Rock – Those are great memories. Talking about collaborations, you have done plenty of them through the years. Whether it be for your own material or offering your voice to others’ material such as with Cradle of Filth’s  “Nymphetamine.” Do you enjoy collaborating with others like that?

Liv Kristine – Definitely. In the period when I was really busy fixing my life and taking care of my family, I still got numerous offers to join in on different projects and bands doing corporations. That really helped me financially and also to be present somehow. I wasn’t ready for my own album though. My mind wasn’t clear enough and I was just too stressed out. I’m really grateful for that because there were a lot of opportunities. I have a really long list of which I’m really proud. It all began with Cradle of Filth back then, with “Nymphetamine.” It has continued even up until today. I’m still receiving offers to work with bands and different projects. I love that. It’s a very nice way to be creative in different ways and to have an open mind; because you receive a song, you receive different input, and then you start working with it.

Cryptic Rock – It is very exciting and keeps everything open. You also had collaborations on your latest album, River of Diamonds. You had Fernando Ribeiro from Moonspell on it too. There is also a history with you and Moonspell from touring together.  history there too. 

Leaves’ Eyes – Lovelorn Leaves’ Eyes – Vinland Saga Napalm Records (2004) Napalm Records (2006)

Cryptic Rock – That is great to hear. So you have the re-release of Deus Ex Machina and the new album River of Diamonds out now. You stated that you are already working on new material. What can people expect from that? Is there a timetable for that right now?

Liv Kristine – There is no timetable yet. I don’t really like timetables. I’m very eager to continue song by song. I really like to work track by track to concentrate on each and every one, and then continue with the next. I realized that the lyrics I’m writing are darn honest. I think I need to stick to that; because every solo album I’ve released so far reflects a chapter in my life. I could never do anything else than being authentic. When I recently started writing lyrics, listening to the new tracks, I thought, “Well, there is no other way around. Just go for it. Just go for the soul stuff.” Everything that comes from the soul, that’s it! That’s the words I want to sing, and that’s the messages I want to convey through my music.

Cryptic Rock – When it arrives it will be exciting. As you said, it has to come naturally. 

Liv Kristine – Yes, it has to. I promise you it won’t take six, seven years.

Cryptic Rock – That is good to hear.. Through all of the trials and tribulations, you seem to have a very positive outlook on things. That is a challenge, because people could become bitter when trouble comes their way. There are two directions you could go – you can either become bitter and wallow in your own misery, or you could move forward. You have chosen to move forward. How do you keep that optimism? What is that light for you?

Liv Kristine – Thank you so much. Yes, it’s absolutely true. Of course there are moments when you keep asking those questions that don’t really make sense such as – “Why me?, Why is this always happening to me?” You kind of fall into that victim role. It happens to everyone though, especially when you don’t feel the earth. When you don’t feel grounded anymore, you don’t feel heaven or whatever, you just lose touch with your soul. Then it feels like, “Okay, I’m being delivered on a silver plate, and that’s it. That’s supposed to be my life. I’m just trying to exist. I’m not thriving. I’m not growing.”

For me, what was the instant remedy was actually going out in nature; even if it was just a 10-minute walk with my dog. I realized that I had to work on one thing, and that is not falling into the victim role. Secondly, if something’s hurting in your soul or in your heart, there is no other way around but to go inside. Maybe you would need a good friend. Maybe you would need a sole partner to be with you when you’re doing that. However, when you’re going into the depth of your soul, you will find a lot of darkness. It’s so important to have a really trustful friend around you who doesn’t tell you what you would like to hear. A friend that tells you there is another perspective to things and to situations. It is – A, we can fix this. B, we can fix this. C, we cannot fix this right now, but it’s going to get fixed. I really appreciate my dearest friends. There are a few of them.

Of course there was meeting Michael, my husband and my sole partner. When I was feeling despair and unsafe on this planet, because of all of that stuff going on, I always thought about my son. I always thought about all those moments we have had and all the happy moments we’re going to have and this deep connection between the two of us.

I have to say nature helped me a lot. Motherhood helped me a lot. Falling in love again with my new husband, that helped me a lot. I’ve always been someone who feels deep empathy with other people too. So, during COVID, I started working with other people really trying to heal their traumas; to find ways to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Sometimes you just need some practical advice. Sometimes you need some soul advice. You need someone to give you some direction. Sometimes it is just an embracement, a smile, or just asking someone, “How are you? Really, how are you?” It all comes down to getting to know yourself, to go into acceptance, and then to look forwards and take what’s there and use it. It is taking all the experience and using it for what comes. You will feel so whole and rich in the end… and so experienced. It’s a pleasure and honor to help other people out there to see the light in the darkness.

Cryptic Rock – Yes, it is a wonderful thing. We need more of that in the world, especially right now. It seems like the world is off its axis. You mentioned how you feel like you are in the middle of everything at this point. Life is never linear, but if we do something right, it is earning wisdom. What would you say the biggest piece of wisdom you have learned from everything has been?

Liv Kristine – There is so much talk about manifestation now out in the world. People are trying to manifest their happiness. I come to the point which is that – yeah, you can manifest a nice car, you can manifest Gucci glasses, and you can manifest holidays in the Bahamas. However, those are things that make you happy maybe instantly or for shorter periods. You have intentions and you want to manifest them. That’s something you do for the 3D world. That’s the physical world we’re living in.

Then there is another dimension. That is what I would like to call your higher self. That’s where your spirit is and your soul. When you go in there and start manifesting, you start getting in alignment with who you really are. You say – What do I really want to do? For me, it was really knowing that I need to serve the world as a singer, handwriting lyrics, singing words about healing, and that life is both beauty and broken.

I need to go out there and serve the world supporting children with special needs. When I realized that, things started to happen. I got a much better job, people turned to me for comfort, for dissolving their trauma and helping them. You’re sending out these frequencies about who you really are in your soul. When there is resonance to that, and there must be a resonance to that, that’s real growth. That’s the real manifestation.

Liv Kristine – River of Diamonds Liv Kristine – Deus Ex Machina Massacre (2023) Massacre (2024)

Cryptic Rock – Absolutely. It seems from what you are saying that maybe we hold on too tightly at times looking for that happiness.

Liv Kristine – Absolutely. We look around in our 3D world, in the physical world, and that is material-oriented. It might give you some happiness for a while, but it kind of goes away. It dissolves. That might be a burden in the end… what if you’re not able to pay for your big car? (Laughs) It’s very interesting when you tap into this field.

Cryptic Rock – Yes. Just to elaborate further, it is about becoming grounded with nature. Sometimes people think that’s kind of hippie-ish, but maybe you should go run in the grass barefoot for a little while. It connects you with the earth. The connection is real.

Liv Kristine – It is a real feeling. It absolutely is true. I feel that every time I’m going to a certain place in the forest. I’m living in Switzerland with my husband and my family now. There is a spot in the forest where I really think that something is magic and frequencies can reach me. It’s a place of stillness too. I really liked going there. Nature is so important.

I heard somewhere that the pulse or the frequency of love is the same as the frequency of Mother Earth, when we met the frequencies of the Earth. That’s the love frequency. I think there is something to it. Nature is so beautiful. It’s all about love, and that’s where you’ll find oneness and wholeness. It’s so rich.

[expirisims]

Catch me Ridin Dirty

Heeelllooo Tumblr!  I know I have been gone for about six months (yikes), but I thought I’d finally get around to posting some Redwood Harbor pics I’ve had on my computer since January and have just been too lazy to post.  Honestly, life has been CRAZY!  Full disclosure, it’s been so long since I even looked at these pictures and the save that I don’t remember everything that’s going on so my descriptions will be brief, but I think you’ll get the gist!  

So we’re back with the “Jones” household which is now the Bright household because Thomas moved out when he got married way back when and let’s just say we have a problem Sim. Hence the title of this post.  That’s just the song that pops into my head when i think of Harold now...LOL! So without any further adieu...

Adriana was up first for her makeover and contemplating the five memories she randomly has of getting preggers.

And Harold was stewing about his now feud with Jamie.  

Speaking of Jamie, he was up bright and early toasting some waffles.

Woodrow was practicing guitar and Kyle paid bills before heading out to work. Wow! he looks so different without the robot costume!

Probably should have been more cautious though!

It’s Harold’s turn for a makeover and he seems to be hitting it off with Armando!

Until he wasn’t...It was at this point when I started to realize that Harold might just be mean spirited.

Meanwhile it was off to work for Adriana, Jamie and Woodrow!

Oh now! Jamie got arrested AGAIN!!

Aaand lost his Scary Bearys!

Woohoo!  Looks like Kyle’s ingesting questionable liquids paid off!

[readingrobin]

I'm still trying to get the hang of the whole "posting content" thing, but I think providing a reading wrap-up every month will allow me a little more to work with. January was a fairly standard reading month. I was able to get through ten books, though I added quite a few to my TBR. Kind of had a mini heart attack when I realized that, according to my Storygraph, I have about 1,731 titles on there. Well, at least I know I'll never run short of reading material.

Total Books Read: 10

Total Pages Read: 3,689

Books Read:

The Devil Aspect by Craig Russell - (Review) (3.5/5)

Sweep: The Story of a Girl and Her Monster by Jonathan Auxier - All I have to say is that the best kind of children's fiction tends to be the ones that expertly balance the harsh cruelties of life, especially during the Victorian era, with an unshakable sense of hope and a lot of heart. Sweep is one of those books that doesn't shy away from the reality and history of children in peril, but there is a warmness in its pages that comes from feeling and seeing the love and protection of dear ones long since passed. Definitely a bit of a tearjerker, but in a good way. (4/5)

The Kingdom of Back by Marie Lu - (Review) (4/5)

Property of the Rebel Librarian by Allison Varnes - Looking at the world around us, this book couldn't be more relevant, as book bans are sweeping across schools and kids are left without a choice in what they want to read. Though it presents a somewhat simplistic scenario of censorship gone wild, it's definitely meant as an accessible way for young readers to be introduced to the process of book banning and what can be done to make your voice heard. (4/5)

Season of the Bruja Vol. 1 by Aaron Duran and Sara Soler - A really beautiful graphic novel that highlights the conflict of surviving indigenous traditions vs. religious colonialism. Stories that point out the hypocrisy and brutality of the Catholic church scratch such a good itch for me. The world is a little shaky though, not much is exactly explained and you almost need some prior knowledge of Mexican mythology going in, but it's worth checking out. (3/5)

A Winter's Promise by Christelle Dabos - (Review) (4/5)

Such Sharp Teeth by Rachel Harrison - (Review) (4/5)

The Ivory Key by Akshaya Raman - Though it takes a while to get going, The Ivory Key does have a great readability to it as the action finally kicks in about maybe halfway through. Up until then, the book spends a great deal laying the foundation of this world: tensions between cities, the role and history of magic in this society, the dynamics of the main characters. I will say, being introduced to at least seven different important characters in the span of 30 pages is a tad overwhelming at first, but it levels out the more you keep reading. While I did enjoy it, there was nothing particularly exemplary about the story that wowed me. The Indian-inspired setting and mythology makes it stand out, but everything else used the same tropes, beats, and twists that I've seen time and time over with little to add to them. I liked it enough to want to read the second book coming out later this year, but probably not enough to keep it on my personal shelf. (3/5)

Black Panther: The Young Prince by Ronald L. Smith - Read this one in a day and was fairly satisfied with it. It'll definitely appeal to middle grade readers looking for Marvel tie-in stories, as it has a quick pace and a good amount of action and mystery. For me, I don't think I enjoyed it enough to continue with the sequel, but it was nice to see a younger T'Challa and M'Baku out of their element away from Wakanda and how dynamic changed over the course of the book. (3/5)

Scavenge the Stars by Tara Sim - For a book inspired by The Count of Monte Cristo, the story itself was incredibly simple and told fairly straight-forwardly, but I think that works in its favor. I'm at the point where I'm starting to tire of long-winded society dramas so I appreciated it for having a bit of focus. Everyone's motivation is clear, with a natural twist or two popping up along the way, plus a great amount of casual queerness. Though the world-building wasn't exactly intricate, there is a good sense of aesthetic and personality in the setting of Moray from its high status venues to the seedy gambling dens. I'm interested to see where the story goes in the sequel! (3.5/5)

Average Rating: (3.6/5)

[foolsrepeattheirfolly]

My Snapchat bedroom selfies from January - October of 2023… wow

I feel like a completely different person, even my room looks completely and vastly different too, January my hair was still feeling like straw and was so damaged I could only wash it in the morning cause then it’d dry for around lunch time naturally, all the hair trims have been worth it to achieve my virgin long hair I’ve been dreaming of (dream is still pending to come true)

Around August after my heartbreak and my ex moving out, I had a whole reevaluation of my life and I decided to take a new approach to doing my eye makeup to soften up my eyes and also just in general have a quicker makeup schedule. Eyebrows defo only going thinner and thinner for now, I love. I have stayed very committed to my staple lipstick colour, I love it

If I was shown this grid of photos at the beginning of this year, it would have been difficult for me to think that the room looks so different and maybe question why and how. It’s been such a year of lessons especially when it came to how I’ve coped with things and losses in my life. I miss my ex but I don’t miss the way he used to make me feel and I’m sure he feels the same way about me, sometimes you can just love someone from a distance and just know that your chapter and lessons with them are done but they’ll always exist in time

Here’s to new beginnings,

To more growth (personal and hair)

[mossrotts]

tw for mass shooting, suicide ment, depression and anxiety, self harm, irl body horror ment?, heavy stuff in general

(i am okay, i will be okay, i have good support in my life; but i know that writing out stuff and like, getting it out tends to help so this just kind of talking about some negative stuff that's been happening--some more intense than others)

at the start of january, there was a mass shooting in the town i live. the town i live has a population of 7000 people.

the way i found out about it was this: i went into work and was assigned the route that i'm always assigned on sunday and a coworker came up to me and was like haha, wow, how do you feel about having the murder route? obviously confused i asked what and he said there were some murders on my route. he said it with a weird glee so i wasn't sure if he was making a weird boomer joke i didn't get or if i was just. not reading the social cues right or what.

worried about it, once i loaded up with packages i looked it up and found that there was, on my route on a street with a total of eight houses, a mass shooting. eight people dead; the oldest 74 and the youngest 4. a man killed his entire family before taking his own life. i don't interact with many people directly while delivering mail and so it was with some surprise that i realized i knew them--i interacted with the seven year old son on a weekly basis.

looking up the news that soon afer was. rough. the way it was portrayed immediately was the same way i've always seen it portrayed in Utah--an issue that is prevalent throughout the US, particularly with white male aggressors, but especially in Utah--the picture used showed the man in a happy, peaceful family portrait with all his victims. the article talked about how there was no indication how this would happen, that the wife had begun divorce proceedings two weeks prior to her murder but never indicated any violence. the article mainly focused on what an upstanding member of the (mormon) Church the man was and what a loving father he'd been.

i had no clue the full scope of things and didn't know how the event had happened, but it still felt disrespectful for how much the articles focused on him and integrated him so much with the family he had killed.

and, of course, there was a plea in the article to 'not make this tragedy about politics', and not talk about gun control because they'd had multiple firearms and the wife had asked the husband to remove them (which he said he did, despite keeping one for himself privately) and if she hadn't have done that then "the victims would have been able to protect themselves".

i'll remind you that the youngest victim was his four year old son.

after this, soon all around my town were little yard signs that said '#enoch strong' or 'we <3 enoch!' and that was. that was the only difference. the crime tape was up that one day while i delivered, then gone the next. it was like it never happened.

i've seen that before--though through different tragedies. my best friend killed himself. i loved him--i thought i was going to marry him because even though i didn't feel attraction for him, the way the mormon church is i knew that i would have to get married to a nice mormon boy someday and i would rather it be with him than anyone else. that's a different can of worms though. he killed himself; he set his car on fire, sat in it, and used a firearm to end his life.

my friend suffered from BPD without support and with the direct pressure of his abusive father and mormon Church societal expectation. no article surrounding his death, no memorial, no nothing mentioned the idea that either there should be more support for mental illnesses--and gun control was never even mentioned.

his father, a bishop in the mormon church at the time, headed my friend's memorial. he talked about how much he loved his son, but that he knew his son was at peace now. he talked about how if we turned to jesus we could make it through any trial we were given, even one as harsh as losing a son.

pj hated his dad. i wonder how many people knew that.

and that was it. it was like he just disappeared after that. swept under the rug. no one talked about him, there was no change, nothing to fill his void. there was no burial, no place for closure, and nothing to suggest anyone would try to make sure this didn't happen to other kids after him. i tracked down his mom about four years after his death and was able to find out where she spread his ashes. she picked a good place and i visit it yearly now.

two years before i was born, there was a murder in the college town next to my current town. almost a decade before matthew shepherd, gordon church was brutally sexually assaulted and murdered and his murderers both used the gay panic defense (though, due to the brutality, was in this case ineffective and they were sentenced to prison). a gag order was placed on many parts of the case--further silence pressured by the mormon church--due to gordon church being mormon and his sexuality. the crime was so silenced that many people don't know it happened. years ago i had a coworker, whom i liked and was generally progressive for utah, who didn't understand why the gays were fighting for the right to get married and why they acted like they were still being oppressed--crimes like that didn't happen anymore, and they clearly had never happened here.

it felt like it was happening again. another crime that utah and the church would just hide it again. sweep it under the rug. just don't talk about it. #enoch strong and we <3 enoch is all we need.

i cannot imagine how much the family and loved ones of the victims felt and hurt, how much they still do. as far as i know they've not requested any help and so i'm not going to be posting any gofundmes or anything here, but god if you're able to advocate for gun control and safety or see programs providing support for those with mental illness; please help there. we need it more than ever. and god i know i was not and am not as personally effected as so many involved in this, but i don't know if i can describe the just. idk, heaviness of the thought that it's happening again. that this would be the only thing i'd hear of it and this entire family would be gone like they never existed.

but perhaps something good--i say that with the largest grain of salt--is that people with far more reach than me cared and they felt the treatment of the victims was wrong and they have worked to get more information out. and that comes with two sides. one is that this isn't being swept under the rug, which will hopefully give both the victims the attention they deserve and help to prevent something like this from happening again. the other side is how horrific and depressing some of that information is.

people pushed for the obituary praising what a good member of the Church and upstanding father the killer was to be removed. they did not, as far as i know, try to degrade him or anything. just wanted it removed. and it was. at the funeral the victims were buried together while the killer had a closed ceremony elsewhere.

more information about the situation got out. acab as usual--but apparently neighbors had to all but beg cops to go do a wellness check on the family after thinking something was very off. i can confirm that a cop lives less than a block away.

one of the daughters, 17 years old, apparently claimed her dad was being abusive and that she was "afraid [her] dad would kill [her]". her dad was apparently quoted saying jokingly afterwards "oh, she's so mouthy". we don't have any thoughts from the mother, but i think it's important to know that divorce is pretty fucking rare in mormon communities. and i hate knowing that--i hate knowing that one of the daughters spoke up enough that we have it RECORDED that she was scared--that she was brave enough to say something and she was fucking right and no one listened to her and now she and her five younger siblings are dead. it's not fucking fair.

i don't know where i was going with that, but it fucking sucks and i hate this.

i've also been having financial issues; i wont get into it too much but essentially my meds have jumped up to $200 every time i get them, and for whatever reason the pharmacy accidentally double charged me when i picked them up--which i barely had the $200 and i did NOT have the $400. went into the negative and my bank immediately started charging overdraft fees. i had to call the bank and get it sorted out but god it was awful. also even though i'm not going into depth please look at this hilarious conversation i had with walgreens pharmacy

00:00:26 system : BOT : [...] how can I help you? USER : I recently purchased my prescriptions and in addition to the expected charge I have a duplicate amount pending in my bank account. Why is the system trying to double charge my account? BOT : I haven't learned about that yet. I’ll get someone to help you [...] 00:00:28 Therisa : Hi! My name is Therisa H. How can I help you? 00:01:58 Therisa : The pending charge will fall off for you 00:02:03 USER : Hi, I recently picked up my prescriptions from Walgreens. In addition to being charged the expected amount in person, I have an additional charge (the same amount) pending in my bank account. Are you able to check why I'm being double charged? 00:02:34 USER : I've been charged an overdraft due to the second charge; will this money be returned? 00:02:36 Therisa : The pending charge will fall off for you 00:02:51 USER : Do you know when? 00:03:08 USER : Or how to prevent it from doing a pending charge in the future? 00:03:12 Therisa : 3-7 business days 00:03:51 USER : Thank you. And do you know how to prevent it from doing a pending charge in the future? 00:05:49 Therisa : there isnt a way 00:06:19 USER : alright, thanks.

what a good time. the amount i make per hour at the post office is good, but for some reason they're not calling me in for more than one day a week and i just. haven't been able to keep up financially so i have to start looking for a new job.

and god, if you've heard at all about my personal life you probably have heard about the uh. idk, not great ways my jobs have ended. last job, where i felt like i was doing some good for awhile, i had to report for neglect to adult protective services and when the company refused to change the situation of abuse i had to decide whether or not i wanted to stay on the chance that i was helping people but being a part of a corrupt system or leave. the one before that (honestly the more normal of these) was shit and i quit after a manager attempted to reprimand and punish a coworker and i for talking in private about some of the negative aspects of the job. and the job before that i quit after finding out that a manager was using me to lure in girl coworkers for him to sexually groom/live with. after i and my friend (who lived with him after he'd set himself up to be just a chill place she could rent from for a bit, and who escaped him thank god) gave all our evidence over i left. he was arrested and lost his job, thank god, but i couldn't stay there.

anyway, i have some anxiety when it comes to starting a new job. it gets pretty bad when job hunting and gets real real bad like the first few days before i actually start working. but i haven't had enough money at my current job, working just one day a week, so i need to find a part time job. just started looking this week and i was nervous as my roommate was helping me look and i just kinda started picking at my nail polish. having nail polish is kinda nice because otherwise i start picking at my skin. and i wasn't paying much attention and i was just peeling/picking it off of my toe nails when i looked down and realized i had peeled an entire toe nail off. (well, almost, it was just barely connected at the end) and idk, it was bad. i have a history of self harm and i've... accidentally gone too far with it in the past without meaning to and it felt like that, even though i really wasn't trying to self harm at ALL in this situation. and also i didn't fucking know that was a thing a person could do? just pull off a nail?

anyway i'm okay and my roommate helped me wrap it up and we'll see if it like reattaches or what to do from here (it's still wrapped up rn, hasn't gotten worse if nothing else) but like.

idk where i was going with that either. capitalism sucks so much that i pulled my goddamn toenail off? wild???

or maybe just. like, all of writing this is just parts of realizing that i haven't been in an emotional/not good mood lately for no reason--it's been a lot of stuff that i was handling on its own but has been building up and i'm kinda in a rough place. and i'll be ok. but man it sucks right now.

[alastaircraig]

Bowie

Illustration by Hannah Aiello

January 2016:

The strangest part of working in a newsroom: you will occasionally have to act on awful news – if only for a few minutes of speedy fact-checking – before you’re permitted to completely feel it. Even when it’s the loss of somebody who you admire not only for his music, but his very existence.

The first thought that penetrates your professional numbness: a memory of 2003; sitting next to your Mum and sister at a Bowie concert, singing along with the man himself to “Suffragette City”. You will forever cherish the memory of your Mum shouting “WHAM BAM THANK YOU MA’AM”; forever brandish it as Exhibit A in the Wow, My Mother Is A Genuinely Cool Person argument. You realise that to you, the saddest part of this sorry news is the fact that she’ll have to hear it.

The walk home is far, far too short to process anything. So you keep walking. The Brisbane river is lovely. The humid air is cooling. Your fingers, acting almost of their own accord, have already tapped on your magical space-age phone and purchased Bowie’s final album – the album he surely knew would be his last – and pressed play.

It’s weird. It’s alienating. It’s inaccessible. It’s every bit as different to old Bowie as a new Bowie album should be. You find delight not in the songs, but the simple fact that he was finding entirely new things to say to the very end. The knowing references to death and afterlives and vigils are achingly sad, of course. But for the next half hour, he feels very much alive.

You keep walking, and walking, and walking. As the album ends, the final cosmic fade out is almost too much to bear. In your headphones, in this state, it feels like a one-on-one communication: a conscious, affectionate goodbye from a dying man.

Then it’s over. You’re back to reality. The little noises of the outside world seep back in: the bark of dogs, the tweeting of birds, the waves of the river. It’s gentle and peaceful and – through the muffle of the earphones you can’t quite bring yourself to remove – suddenly missing something vital.

So out comes the phone once more. You reach for the old. The familiar. The beloved. The Rock and Roll Suicides. The New Killer Stars. The Ziggies Stardust. And still you trundle along, step by step, doing an approximation of ordinary walking so seamless it has everybody around you fooled. The news has travelled far and wide by now. Is anyone else having a moment like this? That jogger? That lady with the dog? Are they all just as good at pretending? What about their mothers? Who can say?

The sun has set. The humidity has replaced itself with a chilly breeze. Your sunglasses are no longer necessary, but you’re afraid to take them off. You may still need them, having no idea at this stage how your eyes plan to react, water-wise, as you approach the end to Life On Mars.

The air gets cooler. Bowie hits his high note. Your whole body breaks out into sudden goosebumps and you secretly know that’s not the wind’s doing at all. Whatever intangible thing you were looking for in this walk, you’ve probably found it.

As you finally turn and head home, 90 minutes later than planned, you realise two things. First: you’re already writing about the experience in your head. You’ll feel compelled to put it into words. You’ll probably give it more narrative coherence and broader emotional significance than it actually had. You might not edit it; not as much as you should. You will almost certainly regret sharing it. You might not even bother to take it out of the lame second person form, which you are even now worried might seem self-absorbed.

Secondly: the song in your ears no longer carries the weight of the world. It has returned to what it always was, and always will be: good, fun music. As you wait for the elevator, “Little Wonder” reaches its triumphant, transcendent, critically-underrated second half. The doors open. You see your reflection and realise you’ve been quietly dancing on the spot. And smiling.

[lunaflvms]

I posted 2,197 times in 2022

That's 2,197 more posts than 2021!

1,741 posts created (79%)

456 posts reblogged (21%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@lunaflvms

@enloveclub

@mitsukifilms

@maiwon

I tagged 2,125 of my posts in 2022

Only 3% of my posts had no tags

#˖ ࣪ luna’s mailbox! ˖ ࣪ - 1,319 posts

#˖ ࣪ mail from: ˖ ࣪ ⸱ - 1,315 posts

#✦ luna’s anons。°˖ ✧ - 560 posts

#ˏˋ*⁀➷ luna’s moots ˖ ࣪ - 508 posts

#˖ ࣪ luna’s reblogs! ˖ ࣪ - 350 posts

#˖ ࣪ luna’s thoughts ˖ ࣪ - 311 posts

#chuu cherrie - 75 posts

#one16core - 59 posts

#enhypen social media au - 55 posts

#enhypen smau - 55 posts

Longest Tag: 143 characters

#bye jokes and all parent issues are so not cool 🤬🤬🤬🤬 like why would you (grown ass adult that has kids) beef with some teenager (emo child)

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

🌷🧚‍♀️🧼; ᝰꜜ ᩠˚ 𖤐 fairy of shampoo !

sypnosis: demons and angels have always existed in this world, hidden away in the shadows and guiding people to do right or wrong in many different forms and identities. This time as broke stressed out college students, Hyunjin a 1000+ old demon had a special duty to go guide a young boy in college but struggles when he see another person in the boys life that might make him fail his task. What happens when one demon and one angel both get assigned to the same person?

pairing: demon!hyunjin x angelfem!reader

featuring: enhypen, straykids, txt, itzy, wonyoung from ive and more!

genre: enemies to lovers, slowburn?, fluff, crack, angst maybe, fantasy au, college au

warnings: swearing, idk not much tbh ill add when i need too, maybe some suicidal jokes? like saying kys or kms or sumn 🤕, mentions of blood

author’s note: please ignore the fact the header looks very similar to my fiesta one 😓 i made it at 1 am and im lacking my creative mind rn, it still took me more than 1 hour tho 😒 HELP AND MY SCHOOL STARTS TOMORROW⁉️ IM SOBBING CRYING BLEEDING AND THROWING UP 😭

also this fic is inspired by @ddeonuism my accidental demon roomate!! i just wanted to give creds cuz one part of the story i planned for them is something similiar that happened in her book :) DONT WORRY THO THE PLOT IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT 😭

release date: 25th january 2022

taglist: (open) send an ask

See the full post

471 notes - Posted January 24, 2022

#4

鐵線蓮花; ᝰꜜ ᩠˚ 𖤐 enhypen reactions !

See the full post

705 notes - Posted February 26, 2022

#3

西村力; ᝰꜜ ᩠˚ 𖤐 WISHLIST !

sypnosis: having a famous idol brother had its pros and cons, the pros? well you kind of get second hand fame if you ever go public on social media. the cons? well your annoying brother always tries to set you up with his members, maybe it wouldn’t be a bad thing if he didn’t keep trying to set you up with his groups maknae nishimura riki who you once met and had accidentally spilled coffee on you and then told you to suck it up.

pairing: idol!nishimura riki x fem!reader

featuring: enhypen, txt, itzy, straykids, ive + more

genre: social media au, fluff, crack, enemies to lovers, idol au, brothers bestfriend au

warnings: swearing, my humour 💀

author’s note: WISHLIST came first with over 20 vote 💀 wow anyways if you still want to vote for another one please do its for the future works im going to write i will add more maybe even a soobin smau 😱🤣 lol vote here

release date: after fiesta (will release prologue before that tho)

taglist: (open) send an ASK, replies will not be added anymore

See the full post

1,848 notes - Posted February 17, 2022

#2

엔하이픈 ; ᝰꜜ ᩠˚ 𖤐 luna’s enhypen fic recs !

See the full post

2,090 notes - Posted January 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

🎨 🌷; ᝰꜜ ᩠˚ 𖤐 FIESTA !

sypnosis: Jungwon has always admired you from a distance, watching you practice dancing in the hybe practice rooms, purposely trying to bump into you while wondering around the hybe building and also leaving nice notes for you to find. When you debut in a group, being Enhypen’s younger group, it’s Jungwon’s perfect opportunity to get to know you better but one day he gets into a dating scandal with your best friend. Which leads to you trying to get both of them together, what will he do now?

pairing: idol!yang jungwon x trainee to idol!fem reader

featuring: enhypen, straykids, txt, nct dream, itzy, ive + more!

genre: fluff, crack, maybe a tiny bit of angst? friends to lovers, idol au

warnings: swearing, my humour 😓, y/n is a lil clueless, yeonjun /j, dispatch, invasion of privacy idk

release date: 20th january 2022

taglist: closed!!

See the full post

2,175 notes - Posted January 20, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[filmmakerdreamst]

I posted 954 times in 2022

That's 371 more posts than 2021!

38 posts created (4%)

916 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@fangirltofangod

@homemade-ghosts

@donutcats

@emilreloaded

@ssantisheep

I tagged 954 of my posts in 2022

#tv show - 343 posts

#harry potter - 207 posts

#book - 181 posts

#ron x hermione - 158 posts

#film - 127 posts

#lgbtqia - 126 posts

#lgbt - 125 posts

#video - 124 posts

#artwork - 117 posts

#nature - 114 posts

Longest Tag: 121 characters

#the showrunner really said 'i'm going to write the best written friends to lovers slow burn since tv in the early 2000's'

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Are there any fics out there where Derek and Casey get voted prom king and queen in episode 3x22 instead of Casey and Max or am I gonna have to write it myself?

None that I read of. But you should definitley write it ASAP.

40 notes - Posted January 28, 2022

#4

Your Top 5 Derek relationships? Romantic or platonic, anything counts ^^

1. Marti

How does my favourite sibling relationship in fiction come from this show? One of the things I absolutely loved about Life with Derek when I first got into it in 2015, is how you would see Derek's demeanour change when he was around his little sister and you saw what a good guy he was. I loved the nicknames that they both gave eachother. It was so sweet!

2. Casey

See the full post

45 notes - Posted February 19, 2022

#3

“Same difference” WHY DID HE LOOK SO DISAPPOINTED?

Thats the look of a man whose thinking 'Wow I'm in love with this girl and I can never have her" The last scene is almost like resignation for Derek. He's not giving up but he's finally letting her go.

62 notes - Posted March 28, 2022

#2

Rules: tag 9 people you want to get to know better

Tagged by: @wikiblair :)

Three ships: Xena and Gabrielle, Catherine and Peter, Derek and Casey

First ever ship: I thought it was Pazu and Sheeta from Castle in the Sky (i think that was my first OTP/obsession) but then looking back, I actually think in terms of shipping, it was Doctor and Rose from Doctor Who

Last song: Can't Get Closer - Velvet

Last film: 'Flowers in the Attic' (2014) - Its such a deeply disturbing film. I wasn't quite right after watching it.

Currently reading: You funny.

The next book I planning to read: 'You will get through the Night' by Dan Howell

Currently watching: 'The Great' - Its Great!

Currently consuming: Water

Currently craving: Nutella on Toast

Tagging: @deckerstarareotp @twobrokenwyngs @illgiveyouahint @lovelybeautifulpretty @legendofnora @hackedxy0x @imaginaryhaydee @mrs-n-uzumaki @adamisalive and anyone who wants to do it IDK

162 notes - Posted February 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

your top 5 dasey episodes?💕

1. Home Movies

OK. Their fight at the beginning screams UST (and also kickstarts the episode)

Casey is trying to interview Derek about the family and he surprisingly gets really pissed at her. They fight alot in this show, but this is the first time he legitimately shouts at her while being dead serious/visably hurts her feelings and vice versa.

He's clearly mad that she left him out of something that deeply effects him. Hes never been good at expressing feelings which leads to him bottling them up and letting them out in an unhealthly way (sometimes I feel this dude needs more therpy than Casey). Even though, he likes his new step-family, he still had no say in the matter at the end of the day e.g. This is not a picture perfect family Casey, this is a mess of a family thats making the best of a contrived situation.

And its very obvious to me, that he clearly loves her by this point, and he resents the fact that he does. e.g. 'My Dads decisions put me in this mess'

It gave me a slight reminder of 'Flowers in the Attic' (even though thats a totally different kettle of fish) where the two eldest siblings fall in love with eachother because of the situation they are forced under by their parents (i.e. emotional neglect etc)

See the full post

175 notes - Posted March 6, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[chaoticsoft]

long, rambly post about this past year under the cut

Taking stock of this year because I can't help it. I love the clean slate a fresh January offers. I love looking backward and forward for just a moment to decide what to keep and what to let go of.

On paper, this year was a lot of disappointment. I didn't get into a phd program. We tried repeatedly to move out of the area, but the opportunities presented were never quite the right fit. I still have issues with the tendons in both my hands that, despite occupational therapy, still haven't quite resolved yet.

This summer I was pretty depressed from not being able to use my hands to do the things I love, like cooking, playing video games, writing. Thankfully that has gradually improved somewhat, but even when I was in the midst of it, I still kept finding little sources of joy to help me get through. I learned to read and write in Persian (I'm not great at it, mind you, but I can actually tell what most things say now!). And I guess... for me, that's resiliency. It's looking for those bits of light where they can be found, because they are there. I'm grateful that I've finally learned to (stubbornly) look.

I didn't progress as far in Spanish as I would have liked. In hindsight, it might be kind of unwise to try and learn two languages at once, even if they are completely different. I guess I'm probably going to have to pick one to focus on for a while, it's just a difficult choice. Spanish has my mind in that it fascinates me and I know more of it (I'm probably intermediate, if I had to say). But Persian has my heart. I'm learning it for love. Love of the culture, love for my people.

I know I said that on paper this year held a lot of disappointment, but the truth is that it's held a lot of inner breakthroughs for me. I don't want to go into too much detail about it but one huge, positive change I'm bringing with me into 2023 is finally letting go of the disordered eating patterns that have been passively sabotaging my life. I'd been really frustrated with myself this past year when I would have such little energy, when concentrating would be a struggle, when I could barely get through a book or a workout, when my short-term memory was piss-poor. Most days I was only eating like one small meal a day and then wondering why I felt so miserable. I knew I had issues with restriction, but it still took me four years in therapy to finally work up the courage to even be honest with my therapist about it. I've been working at unraveling it for probably 8 months or so and I've only just started, within the last 3 weeks, to actually eat enough food for a person of my size. And it is almost laughable, the difference it has made. It would be hilarious if it wasn't. I have energy now to concentrate and read books again, to work out for over twice as long as before, my memory's returned. I no longer feel like my default state is this vaguely sad haze. I feel like I have my body back.

If you are someone who restricts (or has any sort of dysfunction around eating), I hope in this new year you'll also take the steps to heal. I know the disorder lies to you and says that it's helping you, I know it says it's giving you a sense of control. But it only hurts you. It robs you of things you don't even fully realize until you get them back. Genuinely, the best thing I ever did was seek help. I'm tagging this to avoid triggering anyone, please let me know if I missed any tags.

As I said, I read sadly few books in 2022 but my top ones are definitely The Mistress of Spices by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni (this book *long, lingering chef's kiss*), Loose Woman and A House of My Own both by Sandra Cisneros (I devour her books in the bath like they're dark chocolate cherries, mango slices dipped in honey, or some other rich indulgence), and Who Fears Death by Nnedi Okorafor (what a fun, wild ride this book was, wow; for lack of a better comparison, it's kind of like Dune without all the colonial white savior bullshit). I just started Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison and it's really, really good so I may finish it before year's end but I'm not sure, so I won't count it lol. This coming year I hope to read and/or actually finish Giovanni's Room by James Baldwin, Cisneros's newest book of poetry Woman Without Shame, Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler, Dreamtigers by Jorge Luis Borges, and Braiding Sweet Grass by Robin Wall Kimmerer.

I've also resolved to cook more Persian food this year. Food is such a significant tie to a culture. Growing up, it was the only thing I experienced that made me "feel" Iranian as my Dad never really spoke the language to us or shared many of the customs. Those are all things I'm teaching myself as an adult. Still, it's time I mastered Persian cooking. I've already started working on it and I'm fairly pleased with my tahdig game already. :)

Anyway, I hope this past year has been kind to you. And even if it hasn't, I hope you're still able to sift for those glinting bits of good where they can be found. And even more, I hope for you a gentle year. A year that is soft and kind and healing.

[despair-to-future-arcs]

Next session…

Okay now time for the next session...

*CLICK*

[09/13/17]

CHIAKI: Hello Sonia, good to see you again - how are feeling?

I've been well, thank you - Peko is going to be waking up tomorrow...

But Fuyuhiko not being here, I'm worry how Peko is going to react, do you think it'll be okay?

CHIAKI: hmm...I think it will be, after all; Fuyuhiko did want Peko to have a life away from the Kuzuruyu Clan so I think this would help Peko.

I hope so too, but I'm worry about Mahiru; given Mahiru was killed by these 2, it... has me worried...

CHIAKI: You seem to be quite empathetic towards others, Sonia.

Right, I know this session is suppose to be for me but I tend to worry about my class and just wanting everyone to wake up; I assure you I will speak about myself, apologies.

CHIAKI: It's fine Sonia, I know you were just worried but as say - Nagi is going to help provide for you along with Masuyo and Hotaru, now let's focus on you - I think we can start with how you became interested in Japan, correct?

Well... I suppose my interest of Japan and it's culture started far before I got into Hope's Peak Academy, I remember my interested started years before then is when I was starting to get into anime.

CHIAKI: Oh right, you mention that anime is quite popular in Novoselic.

Indeed, they started broadcasting them around the 1990's, the first was about 5 sailor scouts that fight crime and are name based on planets which I watch with Gordana when I was 3 years old.

It was so interesting that I started to get interested, honestly I had no idea where it came from and kept watching, it was quite exciting compare to other programs on TV!

CHIAKI: Oh so you always had interest in anime but did you know where it came from?

Not really... in fact, I had no idea where anime came from and figure it was a cartoon produce from Novoselic.

Then suddenly when I was 13 years old, I was given a computer and that's when I discover where anime came from!

...

...

...

Date: Jaunary 24th, 2004

*Sonia was on her laptop as she started to look online*

Wow... so that's where Paranoia Agent came from? Japan?

I remember studying Japanese when I was 9 years old, maybe I can watch some of this in sub or look more into this.

Alrighty then, time to search up about Japan and become an expert!

*Sonia began searching online and studying Japanese culture*

Goodness, there's a lot about Japan I didn't know about; I really want to travel there at some point! Especially doing that toast in my mouth while running to school, catch that yellow rodent or even control a mech like Shinji!

Hm? Wait, what's this...?

*Sonia gets online and finds a site which looks like poetry*

'Spring time - when cherry blossoms bloom they'll soon fall to accept another

Spring passes - then summer will soon arrive see you next time spring season

-Uta Himi'

Is that... poetry? Seems quite an odd way of writing, is this how Japanese write poems? I'll ask about it.

*types down* 'Hello, yes - I read your piece and honestly I do quite enjoy it; sorry to ask but what is that writing, I'm from a different country so I'm curious, thank you for responding.'

And send, I hope the person can get my message...

MAID: Sonia? Dinner is ready.

Oh right, coming! *gets up and heads for dinner*

Well, it must be really late in Japan, I better wait until then...*

'At first the person didn't respond but I assume it was timezones then the next morning I woke up...'

Date: January 25th, 2004

Time: 3:45 PM

Now let's see if the person respond...

Goodness, they did and left quite a comment!

'Hello, thank you very much for the comment, if curious what I wrote it's called Japanese Haiku; it's a traditional poetry and is a three-line poem with seventeen syllables, written in a 5/7/5 syllable count. Often focusing on images from nature, haiku emphasizes simplicity, intensity, and directness of expression.

I was mostly writing about spring and fleeting it can be but I'm happy you found interest in my poem, I'll be sure to write more when I do.

-Uta Himi'

Ah that's wonderful, seems they responded; I really hope we get to talk more; they seem quite pleasent.

*types* 'Certainly, thank you - I'll be sure to follow you; thanks again for responding, Japan has started to interest me - I'm from Europe in a country called Novoselic which has shown anime, I really want to travel to Japan and I was hoping you can tell me more about it.'

*moments later, a comment appear*

Oh they responded more quickly!

'Novoselic? I remember my grandfather giving me some from there, your country's chocolate is really good, I bet it's quite beautiful but I'll tell you all I know; by the way I'm Uta Himi; it's nice to meet you.'

'Likewise, I'm Sonia Nevermind; I'm happy to meet you as well, let's keep talking.'

'After that, I began talking with Uta for years, she mention that she wrote poetry and writing, even speaking about Japanese culture and answering any questions I had - she even became someone I could speak with when having a hard day at school...'

[readtilyoudie]

JANUARY 2024 READS

I wanted to do something different this year with the wrap-ups. I'm not great at getting reviews out, but like, what if I picked five books each month that I felt strongly about and comment on them? So let's see if I stick with it.

Acceptance by Jeff VanderMeer. Are you allowed to like a series when you have also been confused by said series the entire time? I mean, it's a fascinating one for sure. And this book was supposed to be the end but apparently he's writing a fourth book even though this was a great wrap-up and had answers (answers being a loose term here cause wtf did i just read). I liked my little grumpy gay lighthouse keeper. Sad to lose him. Also? I never see this book or series mentioned as queer but here we are. I would rec this book to those who like biology horror and scifi, but if you ain't down with the plant and body horror then it's gonna get cringey.

The Picture of Dorian Grey by Oscar Wilde. THIS BOOK. I knew I was going to like it because I like Oscar Wilde, but WOW. I was truly just not prepared for the level of queer energy I received. "He is all of my art to me now." How has tumblr not just gone RABID over this quote? Like, I want this on my wall, on my body, it has embedded itself in my soul, I have never read anything more romantic in my life. But the actual book itself? Kinda ... anticlimactic. Like we hear a lot about what's going on but it doesn't show and it skips time a lot so we don't really get to see much of people around him aging. I would've liked a much more drawn out version better. Also? Dorian Grey is the WORLD'S WORST CRIMINAL and I don't mean from a devious standpoint, but like, from a brain standpoint. All this time you've been young and yet you're keeping up with the stupidity of youth. Okay. Overall I loved it but it could've been better. But this is also coming from someone in a time the book wasn't written for so take it how you will.

Snuff by Chuck Palahniuk. This was a reread for me. Part of my goal is to read the books I own this year and clear up some shelf space and while I enjoyed this book in my youth, my older self said Um No. It's just Too Much for me too handle. Then again, this was never one I was overly in love with.

Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood. I knew I wasn't getting rid of this one but I got to listen to it as an audiobook for the first time, which was fun. This remains one of my all-time favorite books, fucked-up-ness and all. It's a shame the rest of the series didn't carry the same energy for me but this one is my ride-or-die. I want to get a bunch of copies of it like I did for Howl's Moving Castle.

Jujutsu Kaisen V17 by Gege Akutami. I'm so lost at this point. This is why I don't read much shonen. What is even happening anymore, who are these people. But also, Mai's new look? Let's go, Lesbians! Hot damn!

[im-the-afterglow]

On my way home tonight the sun setting created a dark hued rainbow that met the night sky. It was so stunning to look at, I just wanted to stand in the parking lot and stare at it.

January, and I started thinking about my grandfather who suffered a stroke this month 22 years ago, and the subsequent month passed away.

December before he died, we were at my grandparents home in northern Wisconsin for Christmas. I remember sitting in the kitchen with my grandfather and he, out of nowhere, asked me if I wished I’d done anything differently with my life. I was 19, hadn’t yet lived much of a life to be regretful of, so it was certainly odd. But it also signaled, perhaps, that he was aware time on this earth was drawing to an end.

He went on to say that he could have married a nurse. That he had dated a nurse while he was at school at UW Madison. A blonde. He could have married her.

There is something sad about the fact that the biggest regret he was holding was that he wished he’d married someone else. Especially strange for me to hear, because had he done so… I wouldn’t have existed in that kitchen in that moment with him at all. That kitchen wouldn’t exist at all.

Curious, also, because my grandfather didn’t get to finish college. Farm life and his family beckoned and returned him to rural Rusk County where he ended up pursuing my grandmother, who was engaged at the time, and eventually married her, built a family home with his own bare hands and raised 4 daughters with her.

What if his family was able to farm without him? What if he had been able to finish school? What if he had stayed in Madison and married that nurse?

I used to go into the Rathskeller at the Memorial Union to write sometimes. Many times, after he passed, I’d look around and think of him being there. I’d try to place him in the exact spot I was in, tried to envision whatever academic life looked like in the 1940s.

It’s also interesting to note, at least to me, that he is the only relative I’ve ever had premonitions of prior to them passing and the only one who came to say goodbye to me after crossing over.

Life is strange, everyone’s story is so different yet often familiarities can always be found.

But wow… 60ish years spent thinking about the one that got away…