#look do i know Gai would be a ‘sports dude’

[petew21-blog]

Friends with benefits

Two long time friends Trent and Brett. A classic story. Met in kindergarten and have been friends since. Grew up together. Spent their holidays together. Graduated together. But then stopped seeing each other as often. Why? Because adult life ain't easy. Brett had to find a job while Trent got into college, graduated and on top of that became a fitness influencer. Brett started his Twitch account and became a gamer, which he had time for, cause how he was constantly doing a different job, depending on what he could find. But both of them always took some time off for a beer with their buddy.

This is Trent

Although he doesn't appear like that, he is a 24 year old male with young looks

On the other hand Brett is also young, but his looks are a bit more mature. Maybe it's because of all the hair

This is Brett

So hairy.

Normal guys, right? Well something was about to change very soon

Friday, August 2nd, 5 PM

Brett:"Hey, dude. Wanna grab a beer later tonight?"

Trent:"Yeah, sure. I am down. Is 8:30 ok? I gotta finish a video"

Brett:"Oh yeah, totally fine. See you then"

Friday, August 2nd, sports bar, 8:33 PM

At the bar Brett waits patiently, only his leg is slightly shaking. Trent comes in through the door. It's kinda funny, cause Trent used to be really insecure and not confident. Now he looks basically like a god. But still, he has this cute shy looking guy whose face doesnt match his body and the fact that he's 24. Brett was kinds jealous, most of the people that didn't know him always thought he was older because of his looks. Trent had the opposite problem. Always had to show ID whenever he went. Yet Brett was probably more jealous about his life in general. He finished school, took great care of his body, which now could help him hook up with anyone he would set his mind to.

Brett:"Hey, maaaan. How are you doing?"

Trent:"Heyyy. Yeah good. You know, single influencer life, haha"

Brett:"The ladies must be driving you crazy"

Trent:"If only it were just ladies. Haha. You should see the messages some of these gay dudes keep sending me. It's insane"

Brett:"You tell me. They always send random shits to my chats while playing. But it's mostly dumb kids."

Trent:"I think we should find you a date for tonight"

Brett:"Nahhh, fuck it. I'm not in the mood. I just wanna chat with my bro."

After a few beers

Brett:"Shut up, you did not!"

Trent:"I swear. She came on to me without a word."

Brett:"So what did you do?"

Trent:"You think I put up a fight? Haha"

Brett:"Maaaan. I want this stuff to happen to me to. That's so hot"

Trent:"Come with me to the gym then, I bet more chicks woukd be into you if you would gain some muscles"

Brett:"You calling me fat?"

Trent:"No, just saying that all that body hair would be good to match with a good body. You're just a walking gorilla right now"

Brett:"Oh shut up twink! Haha"

They finished their drinks, said their goodbyes and went home.

Brett felt amazing. He really needed to get a beer with his best friend. He came back home, sat behind his computer and searched Dark web. He already knew what he was looking for. He wanted to mess with Trent. Just a another one of his pranks. All he needed was Trent's personal item. He found the body swapping website. He read the rules and conditions and filled out his and Trents name. The only next step he had to follow was to go to sleep. And so he did. Only taking off his shirt in the process and collapsing on the bed. Not even brushing his teeth

Brett woke up feeling better than ever. He was used to have a hangover by now, but today he felt great. He opened his eyes and immediately noticed the different sheets. He looked around. This is Trent's place.

Brett:"Trent?" he said, but he heard Trent's voice.

He turned around to get up

His body. He has a different body

Brett:"Holy shit. It worked" he said amused. He looked down at his now soft chest. He got up

Brett:"Oh wow. getting up is so different when you have these hard muscles"

He went to the nearest mirror. And there he was. Trent in his glory. Brett was so happy right now. His prank worked. He is now inside of his best friends body. And the pranks probably won't stop there. Now he can mess with him all he wants. But not now.

He looked from top to bottom how tall and slim his body was. "Almost no hair anywhere. Lucky guy"

He took Trent's phone and snapped a photo to send it to Trent in his body. He knew it would take a while for Trent to wake up so he proceeded in his exploration.

He felt his curly hair. "How come you don't even have widow's peak? So unfair" He traced his jawline, now with tiny baby hair that Brett wouldn't even call a beard. But his sight was now caught by those nice Calvin Klein's. He looked around as if there was someone in the room with him who would judge him. He pulled on the waistband

Brett:"Just as I thought. Also shaved" he grabbed his new dick, that was getting harder and harder by the second, when suddenly his phone received a notification. he let go of his dick

It was Trent. Brett:"Haha, this is gonna be good"

There was a photo of Brett's body, observing his hairy armpits in shock

Trent in Brett's body:"Hey. Got any idea why I am a gorilla now? And why that gorilla looks exactly like you?"

Brett:"Surpriseee. And fuck you"

Trent:"So this is your doing?"

Brett:"Yeah, I kinda wanted to prank you somehow for all the pranks and the gorilla jokes. Joke's on you ape man"

Trent:"Fuck you. So this is reversible?"

Brett:"Sure, man. No worries. We'll meet tonight at the bar again and chat how our day went?"

Trent:"I don't know how to feel about this, bro"

Brett:"Just try enjoying being another person"

Trent:"Do you realise there are some no go things including intimate stuff and hygiene?"

Brett:"Sure I do. I'm already holding your dick in YOUR hands right now"

Trent:"Dude! Not cool. I meant more stuff like shitting etc. But yeah, this too."

Brett:"I gotta say Trent. You have a very nice dick"

Trent:"I'll comment on your size when I find it in the bushes I guess. Have you never heard of trimming?"

Brett:"Keeping it natural, baby face"

Trent:"Fine, let's see each other tonight at 8, ok?"

Brett:"Enjoyyy" Hangs up

Trent:"Jesus, this guy. I hope he doesn't fuck up something or someone"

Starts observing himself. "I must say, It feels good to look like a mature man and not a teenager. All of this hair. And the moustache is hot too. I could never grow this thing"

Trent looked down and had a mischievous thought. "Well, Brett. Since you have already held my dick, I think it's time to step it up. Gonna see if you can last longer than I do" Trent said with a smile and whipped out his new hard hairy dick

Saturday August the 3rd, bar, 8:04 PM

Brett is sitting amused in the bar, eating chips on the table and drinking beer. Winking at the ladies looking at his direction.

A waitress came by his table:"Want another?"

Brett noticed his old incoming body:"Sure, and another one for my friend who just arrived. Thank you, sweetheart" he said as his flirtatious look almost seduced the local waitress

Trent:"You need to stop!"

Brett:"What? I was just flirting"

Trent:"Not that. Stop eating those chips. God knows how many calories you ate already"

Brett:"So you don't mind that I was flirting with her?"

Trent:"Nah, I don't care. I jerked off your dick for like the fifth time half an hour ago"

Brett:"What? You beast. I would have never expected that. Cool. You have a really good dick to jerk off too. I didn't expect to shoot so far tho. Made a bit of a mess"

A couple off bikers started eavesdropping to their conversation and turning heads

Trent:"You might want to quiet down, or we're gonna get beaten up for mistakenly speaking like gay guys"

Brett:"But you gotta admit that my body is not so bad, right? All the hair and everything. You like it"

Trent:"It's not bad, but I prefer being in my own body. I'm used to it."

Brett:"Ok, I'll pretend I didn't hear the part before about masturbation. But what do you say? We didn't even have enough time to see what the life is like in our new bodies. It's only been a day"

Trent:"And your point is?"

Brett:"Let's stay swapped for a while. We can swap back anytime we want. It's reversible. We know almost everything about each other, so pretending to be the other one will be easy. You'll just teach me your workout routine, I'll show you... what games to play and how to set up a livestream and we'll figure it out"

Trent:"Livestream? That's all you got?"

Brett:"Come on, man. We got nothing to loose"

Trent:"I don't know man. It's gonna be complicated. I agreed to leave for a few weeks to work at one of our gym branches in another city. And now you'll be the one that has to go. I think now is not the best time"

Brett:"So? I can update you about everything. We can chat all the time. We can call. And I got nothing to do. Actually, you might need to find some job for those few weeks. And there's never gonna be a better time then now. We're single, ready to mingle. So let's enjoy that month"

Trent:"You wanna stay swapped the whole tíme I'm gone?"

Brett:"Yeah, I'll be a fitness instructor/viral star and you'll ne enjoying my chill life"

Trent:"Chill life. Man, you won't even recognise your life when we'll swap back"

Brett:"So you agree?"

Trent:"Yeah, what the hell. I'll be a gorilla for a month"

Brett:"Deal. Now, let's see if you'll have a better game in finding a hookup then me"

Sunday, August 4th

Brett sends a text to Trent:"Why do I feel like my body still hasn't gone through puberty?"

Trent:"Piss off. Yours looks like it went trough yours several times."

Brett:"Nah, gotta be honest. I'm really enjoying this lean figure and hairless body"

Trent:"And my dick..."

Brett:"Haha, yeah and your dick. How are you doing in my body?"

Trent:"Feels pretty weird to be so hairy, but gotta admit it's a nice change. Like... feeling so manly"

Brett:"Yeah, but tip for that hairy stomach. Don't cum on it. It's really irritating to get cum from it"

Trent:"Never had the issue in my body, so yeah. Thanks for the tip"

Brett:"No problem. I had to try it out in yours haha"

Trent:"Doesn't this feel kinda gay to you? All the dick and jerk off talk. Appreciating each other's bodies"

Brett:"Nah. We're exploring, man. Who knows if we ever get that chance. Gotta enjoy it"

Wednesday August 7th

Trent:"How are you settling in?"

Brett:"Yeah. Pretty great. I just jerked off to some porn"

Trent:"Ew. I mean the appartement"

Brett:"Whooops. Sorry. Right. Yeah it's nice. Very clean. Very modern"

Trent:"It's yours only for a month so don't destroy anything there"

Brett:"It's kinda poetic right. New appartement, new body, new job"

Trent:"I don't see anything poetic about me playing games in front of a camera"

Brett;"Dude you have to. My fans are gonna wonder what happened to me"

Trent:"Fine. I'll log in tonight. By the way. Dude your feet smell so much when you work out."

Brett:"Work out? You took my body to the gym?

Trent:"Yeah. I had to show off these bushes somewhere, right?"

Brett:"Ahhh thanks man. Looking good"

Trent:"And I think oke girl was checking you... me out"

Brett:"If you can score than go for it. I'm actually late for a date. Or... how do you call it if you're just gonna have dinner and fuck?"

Trent:"Standard hook up man. Please be safe. Wear a condom. And watch our foe those carbs, man."

Brett:"Sure thing, bye"

Monday, August 12 th

Brett:"Dude do you like ever have to shave your face?"

Trent:"Sure I do. I just don't have to do it so often as you. Btw can I please shave off this moustache?"

Brett:"Absolutely not. You'll learn to love it and appreciate it. Just like I will your baby face"

Saturday, August 17th

Brett:"I have to admit I really love showing off your muscles man. I have been doing it constantly at every occassion. So many people turn their heads to take a peak"

Trent:"Yeah I get it. It helps with the confidence a bit"

Brett:"A bit? I feel like I can beat any fucker whk crosses me"

Trent:"Brett, please don't beat anyone in my body"

Brett:"Just kidding, man. How have you been"

Trent:"Well I tried being consistent with the gym. I think your body is doing pretty well"

Brett:"Daaaamn bro. I look good. You really do take care of my body really well"

Trent:"I was actually thinking I could offer this for money. Swapping with people, doing their routines and then swap back. But that's a talk for another time after we swap back"

Brett:"Yeha, sure. Cool idea. Anyway... how was the streaming?"

Trent:"I don't know, man. I think they are desperste for me to say your catchphrases, but they are so cringe."

Brett:"Nah, you have to do that. That's how you get into Tiktoks and become viral"

Trent:"Honestly. I can't wait to get back to my body and to my life back. So we will swap on September 2nd?

Brett:"Yeah. I suppose. Depends how the work will be etc. Anyway I gotta go man. Talk soon"

Trent to himself:"It feels like he's avoiding me with amswering more and more. Trent rubbed his hairy chest, recalling his sweet soft pecs that he missed.

Thursday, August 22nd

Trent:"Hey, man. How is it going?"

Friday, August 23rd

Trent:"Hey. I just wanna know if you're ok. I just wanna talk about the reversal."

Saturday:"please call me back as soon as possible"

Sunday, August 25th

Brett:"I'm ok"

Trent:"What the hell happened?"

Brett:"Nothing I just felt like I needed a break from phone and that stuff"

Trent:"Brett you didn't answer the phone for 4 days"

Brett:"Ok, I was avoiding you, cause I kinda fucked up and was afraid to tell you"

Trent:'What did you do? Is my body ok?"

Brett:"Yeah your body is unharmed. Nothing that bad. We just had a party in the appartement. Broke the TV and... I had unprotected sex with one girl. She didn't know if she was pregnant or not. So I was waiting. And congrats. You're not gonna be a dad"

Trent:"Brett..."

Brett:"I know. I'm so sorry. Won't happen again. Promise. I just got drunk once and it led to this. I'll be good now"

Trent:"Please, don't do anything anymore. I want to switch back"

Brett:"Nah man. We still gotta week to finish. You said until September 2nd."

Trent:"I didn't know you'd do something like this"

Brett:"Please Trent. I'm begging you. Just that one week"

Trent:"Fine. But don't do anything else!"

Sunday, September 1st

Brett:"Hey. Are you packed yet?"

Trent:"Hey. Not really. I planned on packing tommorow. You can come and help if you got time"

Brett:"Sure. I'll come by"

Monday, September 2nd

Trent arrives to the appartement. Brett is on the couch playing video games

The TV is new and there is a PlayStation on the table

Trent:"You didn't tell me you got back into gaming and that you bought all this."

Brett:"Yeha, I missed it. I thought to myself that you'd like it too. So I bought it. By the way. You should see how the fans dig it"

Trent:"Fans? You're live streaming in my body?"

Brett:"Yeah. The gamers are so into it when I'm flexing in the spare time. I even got a viral Tiktok already!"

Trent:"I think we should swap back, Brett. My life is out of your control now."

Brett:"I'm just using all the goods, man. You don't like my body anymore?"

Trent:"Stop changing the subject. I want to swap back"

Brett:"Ok... but on one condition"

Trent:"You want money?"

Brett;"Nah I want to have sex with my body. I want to have sex with you."

Trent:"You have lost your mind"

Brett:"Oh come on. Admit it, that you thought about it. Who gets the chance to fuck their body? To watch their body in the most animalistic moments from somebody else eyes?" Brett flexes his biceps to let Brett watch

Trent:"Brett..."

Brett stands up and goes towards Trent

Brett:"You know you want to kids thus face. To suck this hard dick" he says holding tightly his hardening bulge

Trent:"I... I do. I want to suck my dick"

Brett:"Atta boy"

They begin making out. The fast movements heading towards the bedroom could be described as chaotic, but for them it was a dance of passion. Brett was ripping his old clothes from his old body was all over his body, kissing his neck. Sucking each part of his skin

The kissed even more

Brett began to be more dominant. He gripped Trent's now receding hairline and pushed him down to suck his dick. Trent was choking. But did his best to swallow most of the shaft he now had. He had his dick in his mouth. He couldn't believe it. He is straight and he is sure of that. But this is absolutely different

Brett took his old body by the neck, choking him. "Say you love being in my body"

Trent:"Brett I can't breathe"

Brett:"Fine, let's do this the hard way"

He turned him around. Trent now on all fours. He knew what was coming, but he wasn't ready

Brett spit in his hand and spread it all over the head od his dick. Ready to penetrate his old hairy hole

Trent:"Brett wait... I... Ahhhhhhhh". Trent screamed in pain

Brett:"Yeah. Sorry about that. I'm just so horny. I love your body, Trent. I love every inch od it. Admit you like mine"

Trent:"Brett, please slow down"

Brett:"Naaah, you'll get used to it in a sex"

Trent:"Please, get lube or something"

Brett spit again to where his dick was penetrating Trent's ass. Brett:"Should do it"

Trent was still in pain, but now a new feeling was making him feel better. The pain was now... pleasant? He wanted to feel more. With every thrust from Brett. He felt like shitting himself and cumming at the same time

Brett:"Admit it. Admit you love being in my body" he sped up. Thrusting painfully.

Trent:"Yeah.... yes..."

Brett:"Louder"

Trent:"I do... I love your body. I love being you"

Brett:"Ahhhh. I'm gonna cum. Turn around. I want to cum on your chest"

Trent turned around. He could feel cum leaking from his dick. And now he saw his old face like he never did before. Brett was so into it. His face was full of lust, rage and mischief.

Brett:"Ahhhh. I'm cumming!"

The cum shot all over Trent. Not only on his chest, but also on his mouth and face

Trent watched in awe what just happened.

Brett:"Whew. That was a ride wasn't it? First gay sex. Am I right?"

Trent:"Brett... I?"

Brett:"Oh sorry. I have to catch my breath. You look so funny with my cum all over you. Haha. By the way. I'm glad you love your new body. You get to keep it"

Trent:"Brett, you said we would swap"

Brett:"Yeah I did. That's true. But after this little 'cum over your face' and 'dick in your ass' we made it permanent"

Trent watched in shock as his old body was still standing on top of him. Breathing rapidly and laughing.

Several months later

Hi my name is Brett. Welcome to my only fans channel. If you got any hairy request, hit me up

Brett in Trent's body:"Well this is just pathetic. Man, I knew you'd crumble. But this just seems you lost your mind"

Trent's massive colleague came next to him:"Hey, bro. What are you looking at?"

Brett:"Just looking how one of my friends threw away their life, kinda sad. But whatever. Their life, not mine"

Friend:"Hey, wanna grab a beer later this evening?"

Brett scanned his friend from top to bottom and smiled:"Sure thing. Be there at eight"

Brett thought about switching it up a little. That body would be amazing. But then he turned around and looked at himself in the mirror. And flexed

Brett:"Nah. I'm Trent. And I'm keeping this body"

A request from messages (another one who waited for a LONG time, sorry guys) for @swappwas

Hope you like it :)

P.S. written late at night on a phone with a very irritating autocorrect, so please excuse the mistakes

[hairmetal666]

Steve has a problem. Not a big problem--not an Upside Down-sized problem--but still. A problem. In the form of Eddie Munson. And not the person Eddie Munson, who is second only to Robin in the hierarchy of Steve's heart, but his feelings in regard to one Eddie Munson. Namely, his enormous, devastating, gay crush on the guy.

And he knows, okay, he knows Eddie is gay, but that doesn't mean he wants Steve. Eddie is probably into other metalheads or dnd nerds. What could Steve, with his sports and his polo shirts, possibly have to offer?

He's coping, though. Or, at least, he thought he was until the Family Video phone rings and Jonathan invites them to the New Year's Eve party he and Argyle are throwing at their new apartment.

"We have to make a no-date pact." He tells Robin as soon as the phone is back in the cradle.

"Or you could just ask Eddie."

"You could just ask Nancy." He raises an eyebrow.

She lets out a slow breath. "Yeah, okay. No-date pact. I'm down."

It's just as easy to get Nancy and Eddie on board. Nancy just laughs and says "yeah, like I'd bring a date to the party my ex-boyfriend is hosting with his new boyfriend. How you do you even start to explain that dynamic?"

And Eddie snorts right in Steve's face (it's not cute, it's not), says, "Right, cause my dating pool in Hawkins, Indiana is just ripe with guys who want to ring in the New Year with me."

Steve wants to say that he would be that guy, happily, giddily, but he can't risk blowing up his second most important friendship like that, not when Eddie's never given a fraction of a hint that he wants Steve too.

But that's his problem solved, right? The four of them aren't bringing dates. Easy-peasy.

Unfortunately, Steve's life hasn't ever worked out like that, and the party turns out to not be only their little end of the world crew and a handful of people Jon knows from his grocery store job, but an actual motherfucking party.

It takes almost ten minutes for him and Robin to navigate through the sea of strangers to find Jon and Argyle handing out solo cups in the kitchen.

"Who are all these people?" He shouts over the pounding music, nothing like Steve's ever heard.

"Argyle got a job at the record store down the street," Jon yells.

"Co-workers." Argyle nods. "And a few of their friends."

"A few, right."

"The more the merrier. Right, my dude?"

"Sure." Steve takes a cup. "You seen Eddie around?"

"Living room, last time I looked." Jonathan answers.

"See you around?" Robin asks.

"At least meet up for the ball drop," Argyle answers.

They push their way into the cramped living room, and Steve searches for that familiar cloud of hair, the ripped black jeans. It takes a minute just for the sheer amount of bodies pressed into the small space, and when he sees him Eddie's--

He's standing against a wall, next to the stereo (of course), but there's someone with him. Someone who is tall and leanly muscled in a way that Steve isn't. Someone with long hair pushed back from his forehead. Someone with facial piercings in places Steve didn't even know you could pierce and tattoos and a chain hanging from his worn blue jeans and a bandana in his back pocket, just like Eddie.

And Eddie he's--he's gazing up at this dude with clear stars in his brown doe eyes, body angling towards the other man like he can't help but push more into his orbit.

Steve turns hard, Robin colliding with his side. "Steve, what the--oh."

"I hate New Year's Eve," Steve sighs, trying to ignore the sick feeling in his stomach. It's always been the kind of holiday that is high on expectation and low on follow-through.

"C'mon, I think I spotted Nance over by the bedroom."

He lets Robin guide him across the room, steadfastly not looking back at where Eddie is very obviously finding himself a date. It's okay, Steve reasons. It's okay because that was obviously the kind of guy Eddie would be into it. He knew he had, like, no chance. He shouldn't be disappointed. He shouldn't.

The evening slips away in the shove of people, in the solo cup that manages to always be full in his hand, and he tries as hard as he can to ignore the way Robin and Nancy start sharing the same space.

So much for the no-date pact. He would laugh if a sort of deep loneliness wasn't seeping into his bones.

There's a girl, though, across the room. She's in a short dress and glances at Steve from under hooded eyelids. He could make a move; could have someone to kiss at midnight; have someone just for the night. But then--his heart makes a pathetic patter--Eddie.

Eddie who is practically in that stranger's lap.

He goes out for a cigarette.

When he comes back inside, it's five minutes til midnight and Nancy and Robin are dancing slow and sweet to a song that is neither.

He's happy for them, almost incandescent with it, but the loneliness sinks deeper, reaches marrow, especially after he fails to find Eddie in the crowd.

Steve thinks it might be time to give the whole failed endeavor up for good, but Jonathan and Argyle, both in tiny 1987 novelty top hats, appear at his side.

"Stevie-boy!" Argyle bellows. He lifts Steve at the waist, twirling him, and Steve laughs despite himself.

"Keeping busy?" He asks.

Jonathan pounds him on the back, just a little too hard.

A guest yells from deep in the apartment, "one minute to midnight!" and the music turns off, the TV tuned to Dick Clark and turned up.

Nancy and Robin find their way over, Robin mouthing "sorry," on her way. He pulls her into a side-hug; he'll never begrudge her any happiness, even on his worst day.

From across the room, there's a crash, a short yelp, and then a familiar head of fuzzy brown curls makes its way to them.

"Sorry, sorry." Eddie apologizes as he shoves through the other guests.

"Hi, guys!" He beams at them, cheeks flushed. Steve looks away so he doesn't have to think about how beautiful Eddie is; about how he's not the one who made him blush so pretty.

The countdown on the screen reaches 30 seconds, and the party goers start chanting.

"What happened to--?" Steve can't help but asking.

"Psh, that dude? He's a punk. Plus, I couldn't imagine ringing in 1987 without you guys by my side."

Steve blushes and rolls his eyes. "Sap." He knocks his hip into Eddie's.

"You love it," Eddie wraps him in a loose hold.

The count is down to 10, the ball almost dropped, Jonathan and Argyle and Nancy and Robin making soft eyes at each other.

"What's going on in that head of yours, sweetheart?" Eddie knocks his head gently against Steve's.

"It's nothing."

"You're pouting." Eddie mimics him with a poked out lip.

The count is down to 5.

"Fuck, I just--I wanted to have someone to kiss at midnight, you know?"

The ball drops, the year changes over, the room cheers. His coupled up friends cling to each other in soft, joyous kisses.

Eddie's eyes flick to their friends, to the guests, all kissing and embracing and celebrating, then back to Steve.

With two careful fingers, Eddie lifts Steve's chin, makes it so he can't look away.

"Fuck it," Eddie says. He leans forward, kisses Steve with soft authority.

And Steve just--he just fucking--crumbles into it. He makes a soft noise, curls his fists into Eddie's t-shirt.

Eddie's hands work their way into his hair, pulling him closer. Steve goes eagerly, crushes their bodies together.

They kiss and they kiss, and it's already so far from a friendly New Year's kiss, but then Eddie's tongue swipes into Steve's mouth, and the kiss breaks.

"Um," Eddie says.

Steve can't respond because all his focus is on not giving into the weakness in his knees and collapsing to the floor.

"I've wanted you to do that all night," Steve says.

"Oh." Eddie's face blossoms into a slow smile. "Me too. A lot longer than that, actually."

It's Steve's turn to smile, and he does, so hard it hurts his cheeks. "Me too."

Eddie presses their foreheads together. "Happy New Year, Stevie."

Someone starts singing Auld Lang Syne loudly and off-key, but they're quickly drowned out by a chorus of accompanying voices.

"Happy New Year, Ed."

Steve pulls him in for another kiss. 1987 is already shaping up to be the best year of his life.

[warping-realities]

Online Scam - An OnlyFags Story

Inspired by the concept created by @johnbrand and @boysmentfs

Henry wasn’t having a good day; hell, it wasn’t even a good week or month. He had been stoked for college, ready to hit up new places and live it up, but the truth was that everything was turning into a total shitshow. His roommate was barely tolerable and he hadn’t made a single friend yet. All of this was messing with his head. But what really got to him was being totally broke, not having a dime to his name. His dad sent him a bit of cash, still stuck between being proud of having a son in college and feeling ashamed that son was openly gay. Henry, a name picked by his late mother, who passed down her delicate traits both physically and mentally, knew his dad earned that money busting his ass as a mechanic at a big car shop, and it didn’t come in large amounts, but surely he could send more than the pathetic little sum he was sending. The young man wondered if he’d get more cash if he had a sports scholarship instead of one for his grades.

While hunting for a side gig that could hook him up with some cash, Henry got blindsided by a new message alert on his computer screen. It wasn’t just the message itself; it was who it was from. Larry Thomas was in charge of the more complex systems at the car company where Henry’s dad worked. He was a relatively new hire, and Henry’s dad didn’t get along with the guy at all, with Henry only knowing him from the last company holiday party, since Henry’s dad didn’t want a “degenerate faggot” near his son. The irony of the situation was lost on the old man.

“Hey, kid, I heard your dad telling the guys he cut your funds to force you to man up or whatever. Maybe this will help you scrape together some cash!” the message from the man said, along with a link. Feeling like he had nothing to lose and pissed off at his dad, who he was now sure was punishing him for being gay, Henry clicked the link, which immediately started downloading some kind of app.

“Shit, I hope this ain’t a virus,” he muttered in front of the computer screen.

After loading, a logo popped up at the top: OnlyFags. What the hell was that? Some kind of joke from Larry? Did he team up with Henry’s dad just to humiliate him? Nah, that didn’t make sense; they hated each other. Still, Henry had caught a few looks from Larry directed at his dad that made him think there was some kinda unrequited attraction there… Before he could do anything, a text box popped up asking “Are you a creator or a user?” followed by two more boxes for a username and password. Henry’s computer acted on its own, typing in a sequence so fast he couldn’t read anything that was written or checked. The screen froze for a moment, a spinning circle indicating something was loading, and soon a bunch of boxes appeared on the screen with various profiles.

A massive shock hit Henry with what those profiles showed. He stared in horror and disgust at what they displayed. Mostly dudes between twenty and forty years old with their bodies on full display, playing with pierced nipples, licking feet, or even getting off in plain sight! He moved the mouse, intending to close that crap and delete that app from his computer ASAP.

But fear took over as, instead of shutting down that damn app, the mouse pointer moved on its own to click the profile button in the opposite corner of the screen. The screen loaded again, and there was a profile filled out for him— name, age, height, weight, shoe size, and even dick size. All of it wildly different from reality. A warning popped up quickly: “Your profile picture is outdated! Would you like to take a new one?”

A sudden wave of even greater horror washed over Henry as his hand clicked “yes.” The front camera opened, and his hand set the timer for twenty seconds before propping it against the headboard of the bed, moving to the other side. Almost robotically, he took off his shirt and tossed it on the floor before adjusting his pose for the camera. He moved, trying to get his foot in the shot while flexing one arm, not realizing he’d gained a bunch of pounds of pure muscle and that his delicate size 7 feet had ballooned to a more robust size 10.

Paralyzed and unable to move, he saw a message pop up on the computer screen. “New photo uploaded! Error!!! Photo does not match profile. Correcting parameters!” Scared, he quickly summoned the last bit of willpower he had and tried to get up and shut that app down once and for all, only to be shoved back by an invisible wall, with all the impact you’d expect from a high-speed crash. Dizzy and confused, he felt his face and body go through a sensation of distortion, and suddenly… nothing! The most complete emptiness reigned in his mind. He didn’t know who he was or even his own name. And he stayed like that for several seconds, staring into the inner void.

Until a new notification appeared on the screen, grabbing his attention. “Success! Parameters corrected; new profile picture published!” Immediately, likes started flooding in on his photo and profile, making him focus on the computer screen just as the computer camera turned on again and a live stream began.

He quickly, almost automatically, repositioned himself, flexing one of the powerful arms he’d just acquired. A notification on the app pinged: “New donation from DirtyFaggotMike.”

The app, once again on its own, opened a list of donations from various users with similar and usernames, ranging from small amounts to hundreds of dollars. Henry felt a rush of pride inside him as memories of all the degrading content about that kind of people and the outrageous amounts of cash received for it flooded his mind!

A new comment appeared in at the top of the page with a $100 donation. “Master, your giant hands turn me on; I’d love to be smothered by them.” Henry found himself talking automatically to the screen: “Keep dreaming, faggot. You’re lucky enough to be able to worship them from a distance!” he replied, grinning arrogantly as he admired his own flexed arm.

A part of Henry still intact, lost in the gigantic void that his memories had become, managed to feel mortified; he didn’t want any of those horrible messages to be received by him, let alone responded to that way. That little remaining fraction tried again to regain control, only to be shoved back as the being occupying his body massaged his powerful pecs and spoke laughing arrogantly while getting up: “Where’s my money, you fags? You won’t get shit from me if this account doesn’t start filling up!”

The next message he received was the reply he’d been waiting for—a private message from LickLuckyLarry. “Master Hunter, I’ve been one of your loyal followers for months and I want to pay a good amount to see you jerk off if it’s not too much audacity on my part.”

Henry… Hunter smiled at that message. With a smirk on his face, he replied, “Disgusting faggot. Of course, it’s a hell of a lot of audacity for a worm like you to ask me that! But it’s you pathetic beings that keep my wallet full. I’m willing to accept, but it’ll depend on how much you’re willing to pay for all this!” he replied, grinning wickedly as his hands roamed over his abs and thighs, tentatively close to his cock.

“Master, please,” the guy replied, “I’d do anything to see you work that giant cock until it explodes with your alpha jizz.”

“Great, let’s talk privately; don’t turn on the camera! I don’t wanna see that faggot face of yours, it’ll be hard enough to jerk off knowing a worm like you is watching! And as for the rest of you, take note, faggots, you should all aspire to be like him.”

He leaned forward and closed the live window, before before lying down in his bed and focusing on talking privately in his smartphone with the guy willing to pay to see him play with his own cock. “I said I didn’t wanna see that pathetic face of yours, faggot,” he said upon seeing the man’s face appear on the app chat screen.

“Sorry, Master Hunter, I couldn’t help it; I promise to pay you a much bigger sum, but I wanted to know if you remember me?”

“And why the hell would I remember a pathetic faggot like you?” Hunter asked with a wicked grin.

“Because I work with your dad and… you… you let me suck your cock at the last company holiday party!”

“And? You’re not the first little bitch I’ve let do that! There’s no shame in showing off a bit or even letting one of you kind pay for a blowjob in the absence of something better. And that whore secretary didn’t want to give me any… Anyway, don’t think you’ll get a discount just because you know my old man, and if you try to blackmail me, I’ll use these weapons to smother you in a way way different from what that other faggot wanted!”

“No, Master Hunter… it’s not that… it’s just that you look so much like your dad! You’re a twenty-years-younger copy of him… I… I’ll pay you a bigger sum… but can you refer to yourself as Master Rusty while you jerk off?”

“So you have a fetish for my old man, huh? You sick fuck! But I’m cool with that! Just keep that ugly mug off the screen and don’t you dare talk to me while I do what needs to be done!”

“Thanks, Master Rusty… just one more thing, that mustache you’re growing makes you look even more like your dad… if I may be so bold, I’d say you should keep it.”

“I’ve allowed too much boldness, you worm. Now let’s wrap this up. Camera off,” Hunter said as he laid back on the bed, the camera aimed at him.

“So you want a piece of old Rusty, huh? You little shit?” Hunter teased, while Henry’s little voice tried to fight against the wave of mockery and arrogance filling his mind.

“A new chance to suck that cock? Only in your dreams.” He continued, with vivid memories of orgies with various women and dozens of live streams and videos for desperate gay guys into humiliation flooding his mind.

“You can look and admire, you can worship me from a distance, but this here, this here you’ll never have again pathetic faggot,” he concluded before exploding with a huge load that covered his entire abdomen.

“Thanks for the grand, loser.”

He ended the call and saved a copy of the video showing only the upper part of his body, teasing the release the full presentation for his fans after they donated a good chunk of cash.

As he lay back down, distracted, thinking about the bizarre situation with a coworker of his dad’s and what Old Rusty would think if he found out where the money supporting his son extravagant lifestyle and his monthly allowances was coming from. In that moment of distraction what remained of Henry inside him made one last attempt to surface, somehow managing to miraculously regain a bit of control. Thinking about how to fix this, Henry looked at his body; however, he seemed… normal. His enormous size 15 feet were giving off a potent funk as always. His well-developed calves giving way to tree trunk thighs, while hanging between them was his pride, his massive 10-inch cock, with which he toyed a bit before continuing his investigation. His abs were chiseled like an 8-brick wall, and just above them were the two slabs of flesh that were his pecs. He grabbed his phone and opened the camera, seeing his face; indeed, a near-exact copy of his dad’s face, square and masculine. The overall impression was one of arrogance and disdain, which precisely defined his personality.

He dropped the phone and smiled, satisfied, as he rested his head on his powerful arms. “Damn, Hunter, you’re one hot piece of ass,” he said to himself. “These faggots will never get tired of you,” he concluded, knowing that with a body and a cock like his, money would never be a problem.

Hundreds of miles away from Hunter’s dorm, Larry was finishing up his third or fourth jerk-off session, this time looking at the gif that served as Hunter’s profile picture on the app. That, he thought, was the best decision he’d ever made, seeing the perfect copy of Rusty that Hunter had become, a copy willing to treat him in the degrading way he’d dreamed for months that his dad would do. As he reached orgasm, remembering all the insults and humiliations, he wondered to himself if there was a chance that the son of one of the other coworkers would fall into the same trap; well, it wouldn’t hurt to try, especially if the reward was as delicious as Hunter.

[kjupchurch-xx]

💋 Sexiest Man Alive 💋

November 19th, 2008

                    New York City, New York

              

✨ Author's Note: In this one shot, for story purposes, Hugh is not married. We'll say he divorced from Deb recently to keep the flow of the story.

I double checked my appearance in the mirror before heading out. Today is the day I will be interviewing Hugh Jackman for his People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive crowning. The interview will be filmed and broadcasted live on national television. I decided to go business casual, wearing black capri slacks, a white and pink flowered cami tank top with black 6-inch heels. My dark brown hair was shoulder length and wavy. My makeup was flawless. To say nervous would be an understatement whenever you're interviewing someone that's been named the sexiest man alive.

Everything seemed perfect, so I rushed out to my 2008 Ford Mustang and sped off to our studio in downtown NYC. Traffic was hectic, but I managed to get there with 25 minutes to spare to go over the interview questions before our guest of honor arrives. One question in particular stood out to me, it was a question pertaining to his sexuality due to circulating rumors that he's gay. I'm normally shameless, but this would be an awkward thing to ask him.

"You ready?" My co-worker/camera man Justin asked, stepping in front of me.

I nodded, "As I'll ever be! Just going over some of the questions. 'How do you feel about the circulating rumors of you being gay?', 'What turns the sexiest man alive on?', Justin, what the hell are these questions?" I asked with a humorous horrified look spreading across my face.

He failed to contain his laughter, "I didn't write 'em, I just control the cameras."

I shuffled the cards, "This is going to be the weirdest interview. This dude is probably going to leave the set mid interview." I laughed.

Justin shook his head, "Hugh is a pretty good sport. He should take it in a humorous way. You should be good. He'll be here any minute, so get ready."

I nodded, "Alright."

I stood to double check the set and make sure the props were in their correct location, making sure the set was clean and presentable before sitting back down in my chair. I stood back up, hearing an Australian accent coming from the hallway, that must be Mr. Jackman.

"Glad to be here, mate. Thanks for havin' me." He said, shaking hands with our producer Mack, while walking into my view.

Mack smiled and pointed in my direction while walking Hugh up to me, "Mr. Jackman, this is Kaitlyn. She'll be doing your interview."

I smiled, extending my hand out to Hugh, "Hi, nice to meet you. I'm a huge fan and honored to be doing your interview today, Mr. Jackman."

He gave me a smile, shaking my hand, "Call me Hugh. Nice to meet ya, Sweetheart."

I can see why he was voted sexiest man alive now. No photoshop or CGI needed. This man was cut. He had the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen and did not look a day over 28 despite just turning 40 last month. He was wearing dark colored blue jeans with a white t-shirt adorned with a black blazer that made his biceps pop. I could swear the temperature in the room went up at least 20 degrees since he'd walked in.

As we sat down, I noticed him smiling at me and looking me up and down as if he were checking me out. I smiled back while grabbing the cue cards with the questions for the interview and looked towards Justin, who gave me a slight nod to let me know we were rolling,

I smiled from ear to ear as the camera zoomed in on only me, "Good afternoon, New York! Today's guest was just crowned People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive of the year. You can purchase his edition today in stores. Please allow me to welcome Mr. Hugh Jackman!"

The camera zoomed out showing Hugh and I both sitting in the chairs at the small table separating us. I looked over smiling in his direction, allowing him to speak.

He gave a huge smile towards the camera and then towards me, "Thank you for having me! How're you doing today?" He asked.

I smiled, "I'm great. How are you? How have things been since being named People's Sexiest Man Alive?"

"They've been quite interesting. I was told Brad Pitt wasn't available this year." He said with a cheeky laugh.

I failed to contain my laughter, "I believe a lot of people feel that you've earned the title, especially given your portrayal of Wolverine in Marvel's X-Men."

I could see him blushing, "Honestly, things have been great. I just finished up a movie with Nicole Kidman called Australia, which comes out next week. We're pretty pumped for that."

I shifted in my seat, "How was filming that with Nicole?"

He got serious for a moment, "It was great. She's a good friend of my ex wife's, so it was a bit awkward at first, but overall a great experience. Shooting the film back home in Australia was exciting."

I nodded, "We'll be sure to check that out next week once it premiers." I felt a slight smirk appear on my lips, "Okay, now for the good stuff you all have been waiting for. Juicy questions for the sexiest man alive. Are you ready for this, Hugh?" I asked with as much confidence as I could possibly muster.

He giggled, "Baby, I'm always ready. Let's go."

I took a dramatic deep breath for dramatic effect, "Alright, so given you're now the sexiest man alive, what are some of your turn-ons? What's something you find sexy in a woman?"

He chuckled, giving me a smirk, "Oh, getting a bit cheeky, are we? You waste no time." He noticed me trying to keep a straight face and continued, "What turns me on? I'd have to say confidence, a strong woman that can sometimes put me in my place. I also love a woman in summer clothing. I'm from Australia, I love the outdoors, I love the water. I feel like a woman comfortable in her own skin, enjoying herself on the beach is very attractive to me."

I smiled with a nod, shuffling the cards in my hands, "Good answer."

He smirked at me, shifting in his seat, "I have a question for you. When are we heading to the beach?"

I looked a bit flustered, "I didn't know we were! But I'm happy to go with you any time!" I said with a small laugh.

He chuckled, "Dually noted." He tapped his forehead as if he were retaining the information.

This man was gorgeous. I'm sure he's just being funny for the camera, but I'm still enjoying this.

Attempting to stop chuckling, I went with the next question, "So Hugh, what do you make of the circulating rumors of your sexuality?"

He shrugged, "I think they're funny. They don't really bother me."

I nodded, "What did your friends and family say after you broke the news of being the sexiest man of 2008?"

He laughed, "My mates found it funny. My kids think it's funny but also gross their father is being called sexy. My family also, but they were proud of the accomplishment."

"Given your recent divorce, the ladies would like to know, is Hugh Jackman on the market?" I asked curiously, with a slight giggle.

He looked at the camera, "Hugh Jackman is on the market, ladies." He turned to me, "Is my interviewer also on the market?"

I failed to hide the red blush appearing on my cheeks, "Is Hugh Jackman hitting on me?" I said to the camera acting as if I were in shock with a tilt of my head.

He laughed, "You didn't answer my question."

I smirked, "I'm the interviewer. I ask the questions."

He shook his head, "Feisty, are we?"

I chuckled, "Mr. Jackman, do you have a secret talent?"

He smiled, "I'm very well trained. Not toilet trained, but I'm trained in other things. Barbara Walters told me I give phenomenal lap dances."

I laughed, "Did she? Barb is a great judge, so I trust her judgment."

He immediately stepped up from his chair, looking towards Justin, "Do we have music? I'm going to demonstrate." Looking back towards me he continued, "I have to showcase my talent for you."

This has definitely been the most interesting interview of my two year career.

I looked at Justin as music began playing, "Oh? I'm getting a lap dance too?" I asked playfully throwing the cue cards across the room. "Forget the script."

Justin failing miserably to contain his laughter watched on as Hugh began swaying his hips, removing his blazer and stepping to me. I sat not knowing how to react or if this was some odd dream I was having. He was in front of me with both of my legs between his, while still swaying his hips in a seductive motion.

His voice now seductive shook me from the thought, "How're you feeling, love? Isn't this your best interview yet? C'mon, look at me, baby." His finger grasping my chin pulling it upwards to look at him with the cheekiest, sexiest smile on his face.

I nervously laughed, blushing, "Oh my god." Was all I could manage to say. His other hand gripping my shoulder as he moved closer, almost putting his crotch 2 feet from my face.

He immediately began dying laughing as he sank to the floor, placing both hands on my knees. "How was that?" He asked.

I shook my head with a smile, "That was... I mean, I've never had an interview leave me speechless."

I could hear the film crew failing to contain their laughter as Hugh reached up and hugged me, straddling my lap. This must be every woman's wet dream. His laughter piercing my ears as he hugged me.

"Job well done then." He said cockily. "Turn off those cameras. We're headed backstage." He managed to say through his laughter.

I squealed, dying of laughter, "And that concludes our interview with Mr. Hugh Jackman, ladies and gentlemen! Go pick up your issue of People's magazine's Sexiest Man Alive-" I struggled to grab the magazine but finally reaching it, holding it up towards the camera, "Today!"

The cameras immediately cut and Hugh hopped off of me, laughing at the crew's reaction as their laughter grew louder now that they didn't have to worry about the rolling cameras.

"Best interview of your life?" Hugh asked me with a knowing smile.

I laughed, shaking my head, "Definitely. I was not expecting my day at work to end with a lap dance from Wolverine."

He pulled me in for another hug, "Next interview I'll be giving you another lap dance."

I playfully rolled my eyes, hugging him back, "I'll be sure to remind you."

He got serious for a moment, "Would you like to grab lunch with me? I've got a bit before my next press."

I nodded, "Sure. I'd love to."

He gave me a smile, "Seriously though, are you on the market and when are we gonna go to the beach?"

I looked at him nervously, "I am on the market, and I'm available anytime after 3."

He grabbed my hand, leading me towards the hallway. "Great. All I needed to know. I'm looking forward to that next lap dance, beautiful."  He said with a smirk.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

I remember reading someone say that they hope Seviathan ISN’T a jerk and if/when he comes to the hotel, he actually wants to help Charlie in her mission of redemption…then ends up with a crush on Vaggie, lol.

Mate, how funny would that be? 😂😂😂 You’re here to genuinely help your ex, then end up falling for her girlfriend. While it isn’t socially acceptable or appropriate, I think it’s cute. I guess Vags has that sort of affect on people.

oh man, if we go the absolute CHAD route for Sevi WHILE imagining him getting a crush on Vaggie... like, dude meets scary lady, doesn't notice how scary his EX gets over him staring at HER girlfriend, and maybe it's time for Sev to have some personal epiphanies?

Seviathan: "Knock knock? Yo Charles-a-lot! This really your hotel?"

Angel Dust: "Oh heyyy, look what the undead boy band dragged in..."

Husk: (snorts)

Charlie: "Sev? SEV! Holy shit what are you doing here!?"

Angel Dust: "Wait a sec, Sev? As in-"

Husk: "Oh shit."

Angel Dust: "Ex boyfriend on the hotel premises oh this is gonna get INTERESTIN'. Bet on how quick he gets maimed?"

Husk: "Fuck no. She'd kill us too."

Angel Dust: "Sigh... S'pose so. Spoil sport spear bitch..."

Seviathan: "I heard about your thing! Figured you could use a hand with the whole... uh... Sinner pet project obsession."

Charlie: "But Isn't there a game on right now-"

Seviathan: "Nah, everything's blocked out by replays of your little slap fight with heaven. Which I totally could've helped with too, if you'd given me a heads up first."

Charlie: "I did call? I said goodbye in case I died and-"

Seviathan: "Didn't hear it. You know I don't check voice mail. Everyone's always blowing up my inbox trying to to hit me up."

Angel Dust: "Oh my fucking gay."

Husk: "Would you hit that?"

Angel Dust: "If I did ya'd have to shoot me afterwards."

Seviathan: "Anyway, that's how I found out you'd actually went ahead and tried this thing out for real! And made a real mess of it. You totally cut off the final quarter of the best game of the year with all that live coverage."

Charlie: "Sorry, sorry- we REALLY didn't have say in the timing on that-"

Husk: "No shit."

Seviathan: "Eh. The team's played like shit anyway ever since I left."

Charlie: "Didn't you get kicked off for hogging the ball-"

Angel Dust: "Shocker."

Husk: "Never would have fucking guessed."

Seviathan: "Not dropping the ball isn't the same as hogging it and I never drop the ball on anything. You sure have though!"

Charlie: "I have? Where? Or er with what??"

Seviathan: "This hotel lobby for a start. Where's the billiards table!"

Charlie: "Ohhh. We don't have one."

Seviathan: "Why the hell not???"

Charlie: "No one's asked?"

Seviathan: "Well what the fuck does everyone here DO all day long? You've got actual people staying here, right? You're not still playing pretend hostess to stuffed animals and stuff?"

Angel Dust: "I kinda hope Vaggisaurus kills him."

Husk: "Don't get your hopes up. You know she's whipped and Charlie's a fucking sweetheart."

Angel Dust: "A bestie can dream..."

Charlie: "No I am NOT playing pretend hostess, thanks for mentioning it by the way, in public, in front of my friends- and yes we DO have guests at the hotel! Some of them here of their own free will even!"

Husk: "Not it."

Angel Dust: "Bullshit."

Charlie: "They have lots of fun activity time too! Even when we're not doing talk circles!"

Seviathan: "Uh huh."

Charlie: "Yes! Mostly we all like watching TV- well almost all of us- or listening to the radio to pass the time, or hanging out chatting, or reading-"

Seviathan: "So they're pussies."

Husk: "Hey."

Angel Dust: "Down, pussycat~"

Husk: (HISS)

Charlie: "They are NOT-"

Angel Dust: "Speakin' of pussy...."

Seviathan: "Yeah we're talking about you, what about it? Anyway."

Seviathan: (puts hand on charlie's arm)

Angel Dust: "Here it comes-"

Seviathan: "I've been thinking about us lately, and-" (spear thuds next to his head) "-SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT?!?!"

Husk: "Damn. She missed."

Angel Dust: "Just an openin' shot, Mr. Whiskers." (rubs all four hands together) "Oh this is gonna be goooood~"

Charlie: "Vaggie!" (BEAMING) "I thought we talked about this?"

Vaggie: (swoops down) "He's not a gust yet, babe, so I can greet him spear first if I want to."

Charlie: "Sev's my ex boyfriend though!"

Vaggie: "I know."

Vaggie: (yanks spear out of wall and holds it under his throat) "What the fuck are you doing here."

Seviathan: "I, uhh- is, is that angelic steel..?"

Charlie: (laughing) "Vaggieeee. You're scaring him~"

Angel Dust: "An' turnin' her on."

Husk: (elbows him)

Vaggie: "We said hotel security would be my thing until the threat of random asshole angel attacks went down, remember hun? This is my day job."

Charlie: "I never said I was complaining! Juuuust commentating!"

Vaggie: "Alright then."

Vaggie: (backs Seviathan against wall with her spear)

Vaggie: "Talk. Now."

Seviathan: (swallows hard) "I'm swinging by to help Charlie with the hotel thing-"

Vaggie: "Why."

Seviathan: "She used to be my girl, a guy's got a responsibility-"

Vaggie: "Did she ask you to."

Seviathan: "No? She, she doesn't have to-"

Vaggie: "Did you ask her if you could help."

Seviathan: "It's no trouble, I don't mind a little extra work-"

Vaggie: "Are you here to ask for a room in our hotel."

Seviathan: "In this place? Fuck no, you should see the digs I have, I've got a-"

Vaggie: "So you're trespassing."

Angel Dust: "Ohhh!"

Seviathan: "I'm wha-"

Husk: "Fucking screwed."

Vaggie: "You came here just to swan all over her hard work and stroke your own ego, is what I'm hearing."

Seviathan: "Hey girl, I'm here to he-ULP-!"

Vaggie: "Shut up." (over shoulder) "Charlie?"

Charlie: "Mm....wellllll... Since he's already here, as long he really does help, I'm fine with it. He's harmless. He'd just... um..."

Husk: "A fuckhead."

Angel Dust: "Don't take my fav word in vain, baby."

Charlie: "He's my ex for a reason."

Husk: "Fuck you."

Angel Dust: "Much better."

Vaggie: "He's your ex for an annoying reason, or for being an actual jerk who's earned getting kicked out on his ass for once in his life kinda reason, sweetie?"

Nifty: (popping up from floorboards) "Is he a BAAAAD BOYYYY~?"

Seviathan: "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAt-"

Vaggie: "What part of shut up there's a spear at your throat don't you get."

Seviathan: (jaw clicks shut)

Charlie: "Nope! He's not a boy boy! Just annoying! Mostly."

Nifty: "DAMN IT."

Angel Dust: "How's the huntin' goin' today, Nif?"

Nifty: (pouts) "The last baby bug got away... I hadn't even finished ripping it's little legs off while the mother bug watched it squirm..." (slinks back under floor)

Everyone else: "....."

Charlie: "... so! (claps hands)

Charlie: "Sev, if you really wanna help out that's fine, we're still finishing up the last touches on the new hotel if you feel like doing a little paint work and furniture moving!"

Seviathan: "....."

Charlie: "Sev?"

Seviathan: "..."

Angel Dust: "Think we broke him."

Husk: "I think it's the fucking spear pressed up against his fucking windpipe."

Charlie: "Oh! Whoops. Vaggie, please?"

Vaggie: ".... fiiiine."

Vaggie: (steps back) (wipes spear on nearby curtains) "Answer her."

Seviathan: (staring) "What's your name?"

Vaggie: "Hotel manager. Answer her."

Seviathan: "Charlie-" (still staring at vaggie) "-I would LOVE to help set up your pet sinner terrarium thing!"

Vaggie: "Our WHAT."

Husk & Angel Dust: "Hey!"

Charlie: "It's a hotel, Sev."

Seviathan: "Uh huh yeah sure, that thing!"

Vaggie: (lifts spear)

Charlie: (gently pushes gf spear back down) "Oh I'm going to regret this... ok. Let's, get you some gloves and stuff."

Seviathan: "Alright!" (holds hand up to vaggie) "Give me some skin!"

Vaggie: "...." (lifts spear again)

Charlie: "Excuse us Sev just ONE moment!"

Charlie: (pulls gf safe distance away)

Charlie: "Vaggie..? You okay?"

Vaggie: "Fine."

Charlie: "You're eye's, um. Twitching." (tenderly brushes fringe away from gf's eye) "Are you okay with this? He doesn't have to stay."

Vaggie: "No. It's fine." (sighs) "I want to be okay with it."

Charlie: "It's okay if you're not!"

Vaggie: "I will be, sweetie. Just give me a minute." (leans up for kiss) "But. I need to go do a Niffty and stab something. Really hard. Right now. And if I stay here one minute more, it's gonna be him."

Charlie: "Okay." (giggles) "Have fun stabbing things that aren't my ex?"

Vaggie: "I'll try to."

Seviathan: "Oh hey I'm awesome at stabbing! And the thrusting!"

Angel Dust: "PLEASE stick around, toots."

Husk: (mumbling) "Please fucking stick him."

Seviathan: "Long hard things are totally my thing, I could give you a few pointers on handling them no problem!"

Vaggie: "No."

Seviathan: "Oh come on, how about a hands on demonstration-"

Vaggie: (at charlie) "Keep him away from the kitchen knifes. He looks like he'd stab himself showing off and make a mess."

Charlie: "Heheh~ I'll try to."

Vaggie: "Good luck with that babe." (smooches her) (flies off to go stab)

Seviathan: "...."

Seviathan: "She single?"

Charlie: "She- NO? She is not??"

Angel Dust: (whisper hissing) "Is he blind? Didn't they just kiss???"

Seviathan: "We'll she's gonna be single soon, but not for long."

Husk: "He's dead."

Demon Charlie: "Her girlfriend is ME, Seviathan."

Seviathan: "Girlfriend? So she's-"

Demon Charlie: "VERY VERY GAY and TAKEN, YES."

Seviathan: "Wait, with you? Seriously??"

Demon Charlie: "Yes. Me. For s e v e r a l. Happy. Years."

Husk: (lifts bottle) "Cheers motherfuckers."

Seviathan: "Ohhh, so all that making out with you she did, it wasn't just her flirting with m-"

Angel Dust: "Holy. Fuck."

Demon Charlie: "SHE WASN't FLIRTING WITH YOU! SHE LOVES ME- SHE WANTS TO KILL YOU!!!"

Seviathan: "I'd let her, to be honest. She's hot."

Husk: "Let her?"

Angel Dust: "Dude."

Husk: "The fuck does he mean, let her? He wouldn't have a fucking choice-"

Demon Charlie: "On second thought maybe you SHOULD'NT help out with the hotel, actually!"

Demon Charlie: (grabbing him by scruff of the neck and marching towards door) "It was VERY nice of you to drop by, PLEASE go have a good rest of your life, you'll probably have a LONGER one if you live it away from here!"

Seviathan: "Aww Charlie, getting nervous over having competition?"

Husk: (spits out drink)

Demon Charlie: "You are SOOOOOO not competition! You might end up being another hotel fatality though!"

Angel Dust: "Bet on which of 'em kills him first?"

Husk: "Shut up I'm trying to listen."

Seviathan: "I just think a woman like that should have her pick from the best hell can offer!"

Demon Charlie: "I'm the princess of hell???"

Seviathan: "Sure, but you hardly ever act like it."

Demon Charlie: "I...! She, she doesn't mind me being like me. She-"

Seviathan: "What, a commanding woman like that is fine with a spineless partner? No offence. But come on."

Angel Dust: "Alright, now I'm gonna kill him."

Husk: "Let her do it herself."

Angel Dust: "Hmph!"

Seviathan: "She's never asked you to try being more of an actual princess sometimes?"

Demon Charlie: "No, she... Not like, not like that..."

Seviathan: "Not like that, huh?"

Demon Charlie: "No." (yanks open door) "And our relationship has NOTHING to do with you."

Seviathan: (grabbing doorframe) "But you know it could."

Demon Charlie: "NO IT WON'T. COULDN'T! WILL NOT, EVER!!!!"

Seviathan: "So why're you throwing me out of your silly hotel thing, then?"

Demon Charlie: "....."

Seviathan: "Scaaaared...?"

Demon Charlie: (drops him) (shuts door) "I trust her."

Seviathan: "Said like no one who ever got dumped so their girl could be with me."

Demon Charlie: "I trust her not to ACTUALLY kill you, I mean."

Seviathan: "Fuck I hope she tries... Maybe I'll let her pin me again."

Husk: (SNORTS) "'Let her'..."

Angel Dust: "He's gonna earn a fucking Darwin award at this rate."

Seviathan: (dusting ash off himself) "Kinda impressed you got all demon-ed so fast for this though. That's new!"

Charlie: "I've told you, it only happens when I'm PISSED. OFF."

Angel Dust: "YEAH DOLLFACE GET HIS ASS!"

Seviathan: "I know but like, it used to take a lot to get you all riled up. I hardly ever got to see you like this in bed even. Maybe if it'd been easier we'd still be a thing?"

Charlie: "You know I realllly really doubt it since I dumped YOU."

Husk: "HA!"

Angel Dust: "WOOOOO! BURRRRRN!"

Charlie: "And I dumped you partly BECAUSE you kept trying to 'rile me up' so you could try having sexy scary demon sex with me!"

Angel Dust: "OHHHHH!!!!"

Charlie: "Not that you ever even DID!"

Husk: "Fuck yes."

Charlie: "Because I always had waaaaay more fun sleeping on the COUCH!"

Husk & Angel Dust: (high five)

Seviathan: "...."

Seviathan: "So that's a no to having a threesome with us once I'm dating your soon to be ex girlfriend, huh?"

Demon Charlie: "SEV-"

Charlie: (deep breath)

Charlie: "... why do you even think you like her, Seviathan? You don't know her. She doesn't like you. You don't even know her name."

Seviathan: "She's hot."

Charlie: "Can We Try To Be More Specific, Please."

Seviathan: "I don't know? It was cute how she tried bullying me against a wall like that. All snapping orders like she was some kinda drill sergeant, or like a hot coach lady, treating me like some kinda bug crawling by her shoe- Who doesn't think that's hot?"

Charlie: "...."

Charlie: "Ohhhh."

Angel Dust: "Oh FUCK!"

Husk: (laughing) "The motherfucking alpha man-"

Angel Dust: "He's a fucking sub!!!!"

Seviathan: "What, like the sandwich? Shit. Are my pants fitting too tight again-"

Charlie: "Angel Dust."

Angel Dust: "Yesssss oh fearless leader...?

Charlie: (covers eyes) (turns) (escapes)

Charlie: "He's all yours."

Seviathan: "Whoa wait, where're you going-"

Charlie: "I'm gonna go surprise MY longtime girlfriend with kisses!"

Seviathan: "Hold on don't leave me with these two! Charlie!?"

Charlie: (already gone)

Seviathan: "For fuck's sake then I'm outta here too! I didn't come here to hang out with lame guys-"

Angel Dust: "Oh my little baby boy."

Angel Dust: (grins) (leans in) ".....how's the idea of a woman standin' over you with a whip make ya feel?"

Seviathan: "Good?"

Angel Dust: "Mm-hmm. An' if ya was wearing a collar?"

Seviathan: "..." (takes off hat) (holds it over crotch)

Husk: "Great. Another horrible memory to drown away with booze." (swigs)

Angel Dust: (draping arm around seviathan) "C'mon, let's find ya a dom who WON'T for real rail you with her spear~"

Seviathan: "Oh whoa."

Husk: "Oh fucking save me booze..." (down in one)

Niffty: (sobbing under floorboards)

Husk: "What the fuck? What's wrong with you?"

Niffty: "Th-the bad boys..." (sniffling) "... why are so many of them turning out LAME? Even the king of HELL asked me if I was OKAY when he stepped out his door in his ducky slippers and found me lying in front of it like a rug! WHAT IS WRONG WITH BAD MEN THESE DAYS!?"

Husk: "...."

Husk: "Here."

Husk: (hands down drink)

Niffty: (hands popping out to grabby grabby) "IT'S SO SAAAAAD HUSK!" (snatches) (gulps) (gulps) (faint thump and snoring)

Husk: "I can't fucking believe I risked my fucking life for this place."

Husk: (smiles anyway)

[muscleloverz69]

Jock Juice

Ned was very anxious about moving into his dorm. Without knowing anyone at the university he had no choice but to go random and as luck would have it the only spots left were in the athletes housing. Ned had no interest in sports and found jocks completely obnoxious. Being a nerdy gay man Ned tried his best to steer clear but now his hands were tied. When Ned walked into his room he was met by a total jock. 

Jack was well over 6 feet tall with a square jaw, biceps that stretched the sleeves of his tee and pants that left little to the imagination. Ned was embarrassed when he felt his dick twinge but he quickly ignored it. “Hey bro you must be the roomie, sup.” Jack extended a fist which Ned awkwardly bumped.

Jack turned out to be not nearly as bad as Ned was anticipating. Actually he was pretty nice. He did come back really late from parties and his football gear was littered around the entire room but Ned enjoyed being able to watch Jack change from the corner of his eye. Ned was being driven crazy, staring at the bulging muscles and broad figure of his roommate.

One day as Jack pulled off his pants after a day of classes, he noticed Ned staring at his big bulge. “Hey dude it's ok to look, I’m actually gay too.”

Ned felt his face go red but his mind was reeling from the revelation. “Oh sorry-.” Jack interrupted, “Seriously dude it's fine honestly I’d be down to have some fun with you but you need to know something first.”

Ned couldn’t believe his ears, “You’d want to fuck me?”

“Yeah but dude the thing is I have a curse.”

Ned looked confused as Jack explained, “I used to be a nerd just like you but one day I fucked a jock and now I look like this.” Jack flexed one of his thick biceps.

“Now whenever someone comes in contact with my fluids they become a jock too, it doesn't matter what they looked like before, nerds, girls, old guys they all become jocks.”

Ned stared at his sexy roommate for a moment, he couldn’t be serious, this had to be some kind of prank but he didn’t care. Ned crossed the room and pulled Jack into a deep kiss. Ned laughed in his head for a minute before he felt a gentle fog fall on his brain. Jack pushed Ned off “Bruh I wasnt fucking with you, are you ok.”

“Bro--I mean Jack, I feel fine I think. Whatever, I'm going to bed.” Ned wanted to die. He thought Jack was a nice guy. Why would he pull such a mean prank, although he had no idea why he called Jack bro.

The next morning Ned woke up earlier than usual. He looked himself down in the mirror, he looked the same. Since he woke up early though Ned decided he might as well do something productive and went over to the campus gym.

Ned got to the gym and quickly remembered he had no idea what he was doing. That’s when Jack came up to him, “Hey bro, sorry about last night I guess you’re into the gym now, need some help?”

“Uh sure that’d be cool dud--Jack thanks.”

The two guys worked out together for the next couple hours, after Jack handed Ned a towel and as he did his sweaty hand brushed into his roommates. Ned hardly took note but did feel very tired from the workout.

Ned and Jack walked to the showers together. Ned started rubbing his body down with soap as he noticed some muscle he didn’t remember having. Nowhere near as much as Jack but his shoulders did seem broader, his chest protruded out just a bit, and his abs were showing. As he continued soaping his body he noticed his dick. It was throbbing hard and not only that it looked larger than he ever remembered it. Ned was hit with an overwhelming burning lust. He furiously started jacking off in the shower before cumming all over the tile floor.

Meanwhile Jack felt worried about Ned. He knew the kiss from the night before would result in some minor changes but as long as he was careful it didn’t have to go further unless he knew that’s what Ned wanted. Jack was torn though cute nerds like Ned were exactly his type and he wanted nothing more than to worship that thin nerdy body. 

Later that night Ned tried to study for his Calc exam but couldn’t remember anything. He was sure the questions must have been written wrong because nothing made sense. On top of that all he could think about was Jack’s body. He was losing his mind.

Ned stood up and faced Jack who was mindlessly scrolling on his phone. “Bro I need you inside me.” Jack met Ned’s start 

“You sure bro?”

Ned jumped on top of Jack quickly ripping off his pants revealing muscular thighs and an almost footlong dick. Jack yelped in surprise but couldn’t stop himself from letting Ned’s tongue slide down his shaft. Jack’s hips bucked as Ned got face fucked. Pre entered Nick’s mouth, causing his biceps to enlarge to 18 inches, his face sharpened into a chiseled look although Jack could hardly notice as Nick deepthroated his monster dick. 

Jack began moaning louder, gripping Nick’s enlarged muscular ass before cumming right down Nick’s throat. Nick swallowed load after load before rolling off to the side. Nick felt an even heavier fog descend on his brain. All he could think about was sports, working out and, bussy.

Nick got up and tried to put on his tee shirt which was now skin tight. “Dude that was fuckin sick!” Jack was still laying in bed disappointed. Jack stared at Nicks new thick cock and massive muscles uninterestedly. Jack was really only attracted to nerds.

Nick laughed “Bro I gotta find some other nerd to blow me.”

[star-anise]

So I've been watching this series of videos where a research-focused psychologist goes through Jordan Peterson's work to see which of his ideas and arguments are based on solid empirical evidence. I love it, even though she does mistakenly say his background is in counselling psychology (my field) when he's actually a clinical psychologist.

Anyway, that's got me thinking about Jordan Peterson, and how his response to criticism is, "People have been after me for a long time because I’ve been speaking to disaffected young men — what a terrible thing to do, that is. [...] I thought the marginalized were supposed to have a voice.”

So, here's my theory: Young men of the 21st century have grown up in a culture that is specifically hostile and punitive towards them. However, I think that while girls and women can participate in this culture, it is as much or more the work of boys and men. And I think that the problem with Peterson is that he's not particularly good at helping his audience escape the maze they are trapped in--and he's absolutely opposed to any attempt to dismantle a maze that is actually of fairly recent manufacture.

Case in point: The metrosexual.

The word "metrosexual" was coined in 1994 by Mark Simpson, a gay writer whose settings seem to be perpetually fixed at "critique the shit out of it".

"Metrosexual" describes heterosexual men who might be mistaken as gay, because they are interested in things very common among gay men, including: Caring about whether they're attractive; caring about how their hair is cut and what products they use in it; caring about what clothes they wear; working out to make their bodies look better; frequenting nightclubs. To be "metrosexual" was, in some people's opinions, to be a "man-boy" searching for his "inner girl".

To be metrosexual was, in some ways, to be called someone who looked gay.

The term didn't really catch on until the early 2000s, when media became briefly obsessed with talking about which celebrities were "metrosexual" or not. In that era of hotly divided opinions over the acceptability of homosexuality and queerness, it was implicitly asking, "Who looks gay? Is he gay? Tell me, fellow broadcaster: How gay does this guy look to you?"

(They got to have their cake and eat it too. A liberal audience, desperate to gather as many LGBTQ+ people and allies as possible in their race for 50% acceptance of gay marriage, cherished any signs that people with social clout might be on their side. And a conservative one, watching the same discussion, would heartily enjoy seeing a rogues' gallery of degenerate Hollywood types paraded before them, their every effeminacy pointed out in loving detail.)

Which of course got us: The Retrosexual!

When everybody's helpfully compiling lists of all the things a man can do that look gay or unmanly, dudes who don't want to get the shit kicked out of them by homophobes know all the things not to do!

Therefore, being "manly" became strictly defined by what was off-limits. To be a Real Man meant you shouldn't care about whether you're attractive, or what soap you use, or how your hair is styled. You shouldn't enjoy dancing or get too enthusiastic about music. A Real Man cares about sports and beer and being on top! Dominant!! A WINNER!!!

And, so like, here's a secret: In Anglophone culture, we are very affected by the Puritan legacy that says pleasure is inherently sinful. Vanity and pride--caring about how you look and whether you're attractive--are literal gateways to the Devil. Gluttony, and therefore seeking pleasure at all, is another such. And in Puritan religious theology, women are inherently more sinful. Yes, it goes back to Adam and Eve, and how Eve was tempted into sin first. Long story short, things associated with women became associated with sinfulness, and sinfulness became associated with effeminacy. And for centuries, you haven't even needed to be religious to drink these attitudes from the groundwater.

Okay, that's not the secret, this is the secret: Pleasure is not inherently sinful.

And liking how you look and feeling attractive and paying attention to your sensuality and your emotional life and connecting with art in a real and vulnerable way can feel really good, if you're able to handle it well.

Being raised to be a Real Man in a world where masculinity is perceived to be actively under threat is so uniquely painful, I believe, because every attempt to define yourself as "not gay" means denying yourself one of life's pleasures, and telling yourself you never even wanted it in the first place.

And then those desperate to be Real Men found a way to take some of those things back in what is surely the most painful context possible: They are allowed strictly as tools of your heterosexuality and masculine need for dominance. You are allowed to care about grooming and dancing, etc, purely as a strategy in playing a game called "Getting Girls", where you either score or you don't, where not scoring means you're worthless and unlovable, and scoring is often... strangely unfulfilling and certainly not enough to fill the aching void inside of you.

The mistake both Peterson and his fanbase make is that they get to this point, and then think: The reason I feel so empty inside is... I just haven't gotten enough girls!

Maybe some guys get out of the maze by finding a woman who is allowed to care about things like affection and love and dancing and looking nice, and their connection with her lets them express all the other parts of their souls that didn't fit in the Real Man box, but can come out in roles like Boyfriend or Father.

But humans aren't telepathic, so relationships can only "fix" you so much as you're willing to do the work of nurturing your own soul in a safe environment, so for a lot of men the maze never ends, and sometimes they don't even get the fleeting joys of relationships or sex, since they're so fucked up about them!

At this point, I as a queer woman am like, "Solution's obvious! Dismantle the maze."

And Peterson, who has worked his whole life to achieve the status of Best Maze-Runner in All of Christendom, is clinging to it like, "NO! DOWN, YOU DARK CHAOTIC MOTHER! THIS MAZE GIVES MY LIFE MEANING! THIS MAZE CONNECTS ME TO MY FOREFATHERS! I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT THIS MAZE!"

At which point, like... what can you do but just leave him there?

At least he's not in my area of specialization. The world would be too unkind if I had to deal with him in any professional capacity. I wish Clinical Psychology all their continued joy of him.

[thomatri]

Kiss Boy

Synopsis- you have a fat crush on Atsumu only one problem he’s straight…or is he?

Paring- Atsumu Miya x mreader

———————————————————————

“So when you gonna ask Atsumu out?” Suna asks randomly as Osamu,him and I eat lunch. Atsumu sometimes eats with us but today he’s eating lunch with his other friends

“Uh never that dude like the most straightest person ever” I say rolling my eyes

“But you like him?” Osamu says

“Hey! I can’t help who I like” I say glaring

“Well I mean you can’t keep pretending you don’t like him” Suna says

“And why is that” I ask

“Cause it’s clearly making you depressed I’m sure you’d feel better if you just told him” Suna says shrugging and I sigh

—————————————————————-

“You should really join the volleyball team man” Atsumu says with a smile, him,Suna,Osamu and I are walking to the gym together for there practice and me to watch like we always do

“Nah I hate playing sports, but I’ll gladly watch y’all play” I say smiling at him

“Dang worth a shot Kita would love you on the team, and me of course” Atsumu says smirking at me and I roll my eyes avoiding eye contact so he doesn’t see my embarrassed face

“Chop chop love birds” Osamu says and I glare

“I’m coming dang” Atsumu says. Maybe I’m just delusional but he didn’t deny us being love birds

Suna notices my delusional and smirks

————————————————————-

Practice feels shorter today for some reason maybe it’s just the fact I’m watching them instead of playing but on our way to the subway station our being Osamu,Atsumu and Suna of course Suna decides to ask dumb ass questions to Atsumu of course

“Hey Atsumu are You Gay?” Suna asks and Atsumu looks hella confused. Osamu snickers and I glare

“What type of question is that?!” Atsumu asks rightfully confused

Suna shrugs

“Well no im not Gay maybe a little bi never really gave it much thought” he says shocking all of us

“Is this how I find out my brother a homosexual”

“What the hell. Did you want me to make a rainbow sign announcing it?!”

Osamu actually considers it but shrugs

“I’m surprised I thought you were straight or definitely homophobic” Suna says snickering glancing at me

“Nah Y/n gay” he says and I stop

“What”

“Your gay arent ya?” Atsumu asks confused like he said something wrong

“I mean yeah but how’d you know?” I ask continuing to walk with Atsumu as Suna and Osamu have walked ahead of us

“Well It’s kinda obvious and I heard you and Suna talking about some guy you like” he says and I’m shocked and embarrassed

“I’m actually kinda hurt you didn’t tell me” he says chuckling

“Well I definitely planned to” I say cursing myself for what I’m about to say

“Really? When?” He asks

“I can right now” I say trying to ignore everything telling me not to

“Oh ok” he says and we’re engulfed in silence as I contemplate how to word it for a second

“Uh well” I start

“Is it Suna?” He asks

“WHAT NO” I say looking at him shocked

“Oh carry on” he says laughing and I smile god I could listen to his laugh all day

“I like you Atsumu” I say and he stops walking

Shit

“REALLY?!” He says and now I’m shocked again by his reaction idk what I expected but him yelling really wasn’t it

“Seriously?” He asks

“Seriously” I say shrugging trying to seek non chalont but inside I’m dying screaming throwing up

“Why?” He asks and I stare

“Uh your hot,funny,a great person,hot” I say shrugging

“I noticed how smart wasn’t on that list” he says glaring and I snicker

“You have other great qualities” I say shrugging with a closed eyed smirk

I open my eyes in shock when I feel Atsumu lips on mine

He brings a hand of cup my face and I lean into the kiss

We kiss until we’re out of breath

“Holy shit” He says

“Your a pretty good kisser for someone who’s never had a first kiss” he says smirking and I roll my eyes

“Can’t believe you remember that” I say and he laughs

…

“Fuck we missed the subway” I say and we both start to panic

No Suna or Osamu in sight

All of a sudden I get a call from Suna

“hey pookie” Suna says

“Shut the hell up where are y’all” I ask annoyed

“Boo your no fun, we’re on the subway we thought y’all could use a moment so I’ll just pick y’all up, Osamu already old there parents there spending a night at my place” Suna says

“Thank god you have a car,but don’t pull this stupid shit again” I say trying to stay mad but still extremely thankful he did this

“Damn a little thank you would be nice, trust I won’t though spending gas money just so you two idiots can get together. This is a one time thing” Suna says and I hear Osamu laugh

“Thanks,seriously” I say smiling

“No problemo friendo”

“See ya” Osamu says as Suna hangs up

“Welp” I say

“We’re stuck in the middle of the night alone” I say shrugging and Atsumu is grinning

“What’s got you so happy?” I ask giving him a confused look and he shrugs with his smile still painting his face

“Nothing just happy your my boyfriend” he says and I’m stunned not gonna,ain’t expect him to say that but I smirk

“Oh? You never asked me out”

“Will you be my boyfriend Y/n L/n” he says seriously and I almost bust out laughing

“Yes of course Atsumu Miya” I say smiling at my new boyfriend

———————————————————————

Bonus

———————————————————————

After going to a park,calling my parents to let them know I’m spending a night at Suna which thankfully they ran with cause until he got to us we had no way home, and making out with Atsumu we finally got to Suna place where we both painted each others nails

Atsumu thought it made him look a little to feminine and Osamu just didn’t want to which we both didn’t complain about obviously

“I want all the juicy details” Osamu says finding a movie on Suna laptop

“Well I thought Y/n liked Suna, he confessed we kissed and I asked him out” Atsumu says and Osamu gives him a disgusted look

“That was the vaguest explanation ever I said details boy” Osamu says rolling his eyes and Atsumu glared and I groan knowing there about to argue

“Look Atsumu my nails” I say trying to distract him

“Ooo there pretty can you do mine” he says beaming and Suna snickers

“What happened to it’s too feminine” Suna says with a hand on his hip

“Damn your right hmm just do one hand I wanna match with Y/n” Atsumu asks and I laugh

“Alr loverboy” Suna says starting to paint the bleached haired boys nails

[anincompletelist]

rwrb fic recs! :D

I wanted to take the time to compile a few fics that have massively helped me over the last tough few months and never fail to bring a smile to my face (after the angst, of course)! thank you to everyone who takes the time to write for this lovely fandom, please keep it up! your words are so important and often change lives even when you don't realize it. I hope you're all doing well, and enjoy! <3

(please message me if for any reason you would like to be un-tagged!)

in no particular order:

he looks up grinning like the devil | @coffeecatsme | E | 38k

Henry can’t help it—he lets out a laugh and shakes his head. Beta Sigma Chi being a safe space is about as likely as the Republicans championing queer rights. “Right, and who’s this new president that somehow managed to turn around an entire fraternity?”

Pez winces. She hesitates at first, but then she must decide on something because her chin juts out. “Well,” she says slowly. “It’s Alexander Claremont-Diaz.”

Henry laughs so hard he almost falls off his seat.

Or, Henry Fox learns to fall in love with everything that is Alexander Claremont-Diaz, even if he insists on calling Henry "dude".

--

A Sporting Chance | @clottedcreamfudge | E | 126k

"Marry Henry - destination wedding. Combine all of our names so paperwork is a fucking nightmare." Henry stares at him and Pez rolls the dice, and-

"Congratulations to Alex and Henry Claremont-Diaz-Fox-Mountchristen," he says with a bright grin, and Alex punches the air and makes a 'whooping' noise. "Your wedding is attended by the Beckhams, the President, and several key members of congress. Henry is very gentle on your wedding night." Henry is going to fucking kill Pez.   "Fucking sweet," Alex says, because Henry is apparently the only one here trying not to have a coronary about all of this.

***

It had just been a party game, except now Henry is in way over his head.

--

a degree of fate | (locked) | lockedinmybody | E | 34k

Against the wishes of the palace, Henry decides to go back to university for a graduate's degree in Literature. And when you want to lay low, what's a better place than Austin University? It's not Henry's fault that Alex Claremont-Diaz is also there. Something must be his fault though, because despite having never met before and Henry only knowing him as the son of the Former President of America, Alex Claremont-Diaz clearly hates him. It's going to be a long two years.

--

the poem you make of me | @omgcmere | E | 91k

After being discovered on Instagram as a teenager, Alex Diaz is thriving as a social media influencer and model who just landed a high profile, high fashion contract with Calvin Klein. Alex can get any girl he wants, and he’s loving it. Meanwhile, British poet Henry Fox has just arrived in L.A. to kick off a North American tour promoting his new, steamy book of gay erotic poetry, and he’s attracting a lot of attention.

Bad blood is immediately sparked between them when Henry blows Alex off at their first meeting. Several tabloid rumors and an Instagram tantrum later, Alex and Henry are reluctantly thrust together to make nice, resulting in a grudging friendship and a magnetism between them that Alex can't explain. Why is Henry's poetry making Alex feel like this? And just what is it about Henry Fox that gets to him so much?

--

Mr. BodyPillow | @inexplicablymine | T+ | 21k

Two boys cuddling on a couch right on top of each other because they are in fact very gay™.

Inviting over a complete stranger for cuddles because you are touch starved might be the worst idea Henry has ever had, or the best.

--

More Amour | surveycorpsjean | E | 45k

Alex discovers something in Henry's closet that changes everything.

--

we've been here forever (here's the frozen proof) | @onward--upward | T+ | 12k

Objectively, I am aware that you – a stranger – cannot tell me my own sexuality any better than I can, however... Can you, please? Tell me? It’s 4am and I have been thinking about this for hours, and I can’t sleep.

Warmest regards, ACD *** It’s four in the morning, and Alex Claremont-Diaz has managed to follow a research spiral straight down into a personal crisis. It isn’t the first time.

--

Oblivion | milowren | NR | 31k | please CHECK TAGS & NOTES prior to reading!

What if the moment in the hospital wasn’t a false alarm and the publicity surrounding the forced bromance between Alex and Henry had the adverse effect of them being kidnapped together?

--

But I love him, whether or no. | @leaves-of-laurelin | E | 77k

Henry moves to New York City to help Pez with the opening of his new bar in the East Village. The location—fortunately for business, but unfortunately for Henry’s sanity—is directly across the street from a fire station. The sound of sirens is bad, Alex the gorgeous firefighter is worse. But when Alex helps Henry avoid a near catastrophe the night of the bar’s opening, the two form a tentative friendship that starts to develop into something more.

--

we might just get away with it | (locked) | smc_27 | E | 21k

Alex is a model. Henry is a journalist, and a bit of an asshole. Alex wants him anyway, even when it doesn’t feel good.

--

Hashtag Soulmates | @everwitch-magiks | E | 44k

Alex is perfect and handsome, the golden boy, everybody’s secret crush. So there is absolutely no way that he is the reader who screeches in caps lock every time that Henry posts as much as a drabble. There’s no way. Except Alex just closed his browser fast as fucking lightning, but not before Henry had gotten a good glimpse of the page Alex had open: AO3. ‘Don't Stop Me Now’, Henry’s current wip. The one that Henry literally just updated.

Sweet Jesus. Could it really be?

--

the rubble or our sins | weather_stained | E | 14k

As the Emperor's grandson, Henry despises the gladiator games and resents being forced to attend them — that is, until he sees Alexander fight. 

It's a romance doomed from the very beginning, as Henry's family is already pressuring him into joining the army and finding a wife, but he falls hard for Alex nonetheless. Will Henry find a way to be with him, or will he spend the rest of his life looking back on their time together?

--

that's all for now! I'd like to do this again very soon since there are so many new fics being posted that deserve love as well.

please let me know if there are any issues with the links, if you'd like to be un-tagged, or if you'd like to come and scream about these with me!

another good place for recs is @rwrbficrecs !

if you enjoy any of these (or any fic at all) please know - as someone who writes them as well - every single comment and kudos goes such a long way. it's not necessary, but it's always so much appreciated. <3

thank you for reading, and I hope everyone is having a lovely day/night! :D

-- anincompletelist / sarah

[oopsiedaisiesbaby]

A lil unedited snippet of a long ass modern au I’ve been working on (it’s already at 40K and I’m not even halfway through) about OnlyFans Creator Steve and YouTube/TikTok Influencer Billy! NSFW of course 😘

Warnings: mentions of porn, Steve still in Straight Boy Steve mode, masturbation

“Shit,” Billy exhaled, eyes wide as he turned that over in his head. “That’s a lot of money for one video.”

“Right?” Steve looked at his phone, cringing at the thought of turning that kind of money down for a single custom request. “Oh well, I’m not gay anyways.”

“You’re telling me you couldn’t just stick it in a hole and think of Indiana for that much money?” Billy asked, tone incredulous.

Steve’s chuckles turned into full blown laughter when they made eye contact which set Billy off too. Kicking his legs out from under himself and planting them on the table next to Billy’s, Steve continued to stare at the amount in wonder.

It wasn’t just a regular custom request either. She was offering $1,111 for a first watch. She was saying he could send it out to the masses after a week. He’d had several requests for it since the first pictures of him and Billy hanging out had gone viral. He couldn’t imagine what he’d make after the $1,111.

“I don’t know,” Steve shrugged, turning his phone screen off as he settled in to continue watching the YouTube video still playing. “I guess, but it’s not like it matters anyways, you’ve got your reputation to worry about.”

“I didn’t want one to begin with,” Billy dismissed easily. “I have to hustle so fucking hard to find a sponsor to make, like, half of what you do on your weekly videos, much less getting $1,111 for one view! Now you’re telling me I could make just as much for getting fucked by your big ass cock? It’s unfair, I picked the wrong career to float me through college.”

“So you’d be into it?” Steve was very confused.

Was Billy suggesting that they actually give it a shot or just complaining to complain?

“I don’t know, maybe. Can you even get off with a dude?” Billy asked, shutting his MacBook and tossing it to the end of the couch.

“I mean,” Steve dragged out as he thought about it.

It was just like getting off with a girl, right?

“It can’t be that hard,” Steve decided, eyeing Billy contemplatively.

Billy gaped at him for a few beats before rolling his eyes and scoffing. He crossed his arms over his chest and turned his attention to the YouTube video still playing in the background. Steve burned at being dismissed so easily.

“Fine,” Steve declared, grabbing Billy’s phone and shoving it as his chest. “Let’s watch some gay porn and I’ll see if I can get off to it.”

“You can’t be serious, Steve,” Billy frowned at him, clutching his phone to his chest.

“Deadly,” Steve said, staring Billy down, refusing to give up.

Groaning like Steve was asking him to single handedly fix the climate crisis, Billy pulled up Safari and AirPlayed it to the TV. Steve turned around to watch him type PornHub into the browser.

“PornHub?” Steve cried, scandalized that Billy would even dare.

“I don’t have an OnlyFans account and you can get whole videos for free on PornHub,” Billy argued as he started scrolling through videos.

Steve was appalled. Personally offended.

“Creators only make penny’s per view on here, Billy,” Steve protested as Billy clicked on a video.

Rolling his eyes, Billy skipped the lewd ad and tossed his phone back onto the couch and settled in as the video started on the TV.

There was some horrible acting revolving around being in the locker room after practice for some undetermined sport. Steve didn’t miss the obvious parallels and bumped his shoulder into Billy’s when he saw him smirk out of the corner of his eye.

“You don’t have to deal with sad attempts at acting like this on OnlyFans,” Steve sniffed as the two actors flirted terribly.

“Shut up and watch the porn, you asshole,” Billy chuckled.

Sighing, Steve gave the video his full attention. The two guys were objectively attractive. He didn’t really feel one way or another as he watched them kiss and start undressing though.

He settled back into the couch, watching the two guys rub at each other through their briefs. Steve let his mind wander, already bored with the video. Could he fuck a guy for money?

He’d talked a big game a few minutes earlier, but he wasn’t so sure. Steve had never been attracted to a guy in his entire 21 years of life. Had never even thought about kissing a dude or thought twice about a man.

That was a lie. He’d thought twice about Billy a lot in high school. Only because Billy was constantly in his face and on his ass though. He’d become a bit consumed by his frustration with Billy for a little while there. Nothing gay though.

One of the guys dropped to the floor and immediately throated the other dude. It was kind of impressive. Steve vaguely wondered if Billy could do that. The noises coming from the TV were obscene and it had low level arousal crackling in Steve’s gut, but not enough to make him hard.

Steve’s attention was stolen back by the TV as one of the guys started eating the other’s ass. It was cool to know that ass eating was so universal, not bound by any one sexuality. He wondered how different eating a dude's ass was compared to doing it to a woman.

He considered asking Billy, but they were already watching porn together, he didn’t want to make it even more weird. Billy had mentioned Steve doing the fucking, he wondered if Billy would want to do it that way or if he’d want to fuck Steve. Steve wasn’t so sure if he’d be into that.

Billy shifted next to him, his bicep bumping against Steve’s. He tried to imagine eating Billy’s ass. It would probably be pretty hot, if Billy was a chick he’d have Steve’s dream ass for a partner.

Steve’s dick twitched at the sounds of moaning and focused on the screen again. One of the men was pouring lube along the other’s crack and pushing it in with his fingers. Steve considered touching himself just a little bit to see if that was enough to get him hard in combination with the foreplay happening on the TV.

It shouldn’t be too weird. They’d started the video with the intention of Steve seeing if he could get off to it. Steve gave in and slid his hand into his sweats to rub at himself through his boxer-briefs just as the guy on screen sunk into the other man.

Billy sucked in a sharp breath next to him and Steve felt himself start to chub up. Maybe he’d just been expecting too much, too early. Waiting till the actual fucking started must be the trick.

Rubbing at himself a little more insistently, Steve caught a whiff of Billy’s cologne as he crossed his arms, elbow bumping into Steve’s arm. Steve felt himself fill out further, his blood tingling with the electricity of arousal as he watched the two men on screen start going at it.

Humming as his cock reached full hardness, Steve pulled his hand out of his sweats, licked his palm and shoved it into his underwear to wrap his hand around himself.

“Christ,” Billy breathed, shifting around again.

Steve wanted to make a joke about how Billy had agreed to this exact thing happening, but he didn’t want to make it awkward. He decided to keep his mouth shut and start jerking himself off lazily as he tried to refocus on the screen.

On the TV, the two dudes were fucking rough and hard, both moaning loud and obnoxious. The dramatics were a bit of a turn off, but Steve was determined to make his point. He tried to let himself just get absorbed in the mechanics of two bodies engaging in sex.

He didn’t think it would work if Billy sounded like that. He rubbed his thumb under the head of his dick, biting his lip as he tried not to lose his hard on. Billy’s foot started bouncing on the edge of the coffee table, shaking Steve’s leg in the process.

Steve felt a fat drop of precum blurt out of his cock. He started working his hand a little faster as the men on screen switched positions, from doggy to missionary. Maybe Steve was lame, but he fucking loved missionary.

He moaned under his breath a little bit as more precum started leaking out of the head of his dick, making the slide a little easier. Billy let out a sharp breath, shifting on the couch a little more aggressively.

Steve glanced over to see Billy flushing, arms still crossed over his chest. Letting his gaze drop to Billy’s lap, Steve could see that Billy’s dick was hard as a rock in his sweats. Before he could think twice, Steve was running his mouth.

“It’s cool if you get off too,” Steve whispered, eyes locked on Billy’s now burning red face. “Kinda the point if we’re actually gonna make the video.”

With a huff, Billy dropped his arms, letting a hand settle against the outline of his dick. When he started rubbing at it gently, Steve turned his attention back to the screen. The moans still sounded so fake and it was hot to watch people get off but the performance of it all was settling wrong in Steve’s gut.

He shoved his sweats and boxer briefs down to free his cock, hoping that eliminating the restriction of movements might help. Billy gasped quietly next to him, breath warm on Steve’s shoulder and Steve’s dick twitched in his hand. Steve turned to look at Billy, eyes sticking on the movement of Billy’s hand in his sweats.

The soft, breathy, little groans Billy was letting out were so much better than the obnoxious noises coming from the TV. Steve knew he liked his porn more authentic though so it wasn’t too much of a surprise to him.

He briefly wondered what Billy looked like hard. Steve had seen him soft in the showers after basketball more times than he could count. That thought sent Steve into a tailspin wondering how Billy had never gotten hard in the locker room.

Maybe he’d never been attracted to anyone on the team. Which had Steve wondering what Billy’s type was. Would Billy be able to get off with Steve? He had to know.

“Wanna see it,” Steve murmured, looking up at Billy’s face when blue eyes snapped to meet his.

Billy stared him down for a moment, chewing on his bottom before finally pulling his cock out. Steve let his eyes drop to Billy’s dick, curious. He wasn’t as long as Steve but he was a little bit thicker.

Groaning, Steve started fisting his cock a little harder. Yeah, he could do this. They both watched each other work their hands over their dicks for several beats. Billy moaned as he thumbed over the head of his cock.

Steve licked his lips as he leaned forward a little bit to get a better look at the precum leaking out of Billy’s dick. Aesthetically speaking, Billy’s cock looked great in his fist. Steve wondered if he would need to suck Billy’s dick if they filmed together.

He got stuck on thinking about what cum might taste like. Some women acted like it tasted like a five star meal while others acted like they were drinking battery acid. Steve was curious which one it actually was.

Letting his eyes drift up to Billy’s face to check in on how he was faring, Steve lost himself for a moment as his gaze locked with Billy’s intense fiery blue eyes. Steve’s cock twitched in his hand as Billy licked his lips in his peripheral.

Billy had such girly lips. Steve wondered if they were as soft as a chick’s. He’d have to find out if they were gonna film together.

“Lemme just,” Steve whispered as he reached his free hand out to bury in Billy’s curls.

Billy nodded, gaze dropping to Steve’s lips, as he let Steve pull him forward and smash their lips together. Grunting and tilting his head, Billy swiped his tongue over Steve’s lips. Without a second thought, he parted his lips and moaned as Billy licked into his mouth.

Twisting his hand around his dick just a little bit faster, Steve fell into the kiss. He liked kissing. Billy was actually a really good kisser.

Steve was so distracted by the kiss he couldn’t even hear the sounds coming from the TV anymore and he was grateful.

The wet smack of their lips, Billy’s breathy groans, the slick sound of their hands on their cocks, Steve’s own pleased noises getting lost in Billy’s mouth. It all sounded so much better than what was on screen and it had electricity crackling through Steve’s veins as he hurtled closer and closer to an orgasm.

Billy pulled away, gasping for air before he dove back in. He buried a hand in Steve’s hair and tugged roughly. He angled Steve’s head until the kiss was even more wet and deep, even more perfect. Steve whined as his impending orgasm tingled low in his gut.

It was when Billy started sucking on his tongue that Steve felt lightning bolt up his spine and through his finger tips. He froze as his orgasm sparked through him, whining into Billy’s mouth as his cum spilled wildly over his own fist.

Billy ripped away from Steve, his gaze dropping to Steve’s dick as Steve fisted the last of his cum out. Shuddering as he made a concerned choking noise, Billy’s hand sped up on his own cock as he started to shoot up onto his bare chest. Steve watched, fascinated as Billy trembled silently through his orgasm.

They both collapsed into the couch, panting, dicks still out. Steve grinned to himself as he realized he’d won. He’d actually done it even though Billy implied he couldn’t. It’d been a pretty good orgasm too.

“Told you so,” Steve gasped out, turning his pleased smile on Billy.

Billy just looked at him like he’d lost his damn mind, chest still rising and falling rapidly.

“So are you in or are you in?” Steve asked, wiping his hand on his already soiled t-shirt.

“Guess I’m in,” Billy agreed, although he looked as if he felt shocked by his own words.

[the-ace-with-spades]

bro… BRO…… i NEED you to write a part 2 to the hangster hs au it was SO GOOD

You ask and you shall receive (kinda? this is what I imagine happened after)

(I love high school aus so much, I just don't have time to write it all properly 😭)

link to kinda part 1

Bradley realizes he's an idiot as soon as he hangs up with Nat and even more realizes he needs to talk to Jake, now. He wants to talk in person just so he can explain to Jake that he was very unaware until this evening but he'd still very much like to be his boyfriend and go to prom to him and everything that follows.

He takes Mav's motorcycle (without permission) and drives to Jake's house. It's already quite late but he can't see the light in Jake's bedroom upstairs so he knocks on the door.

Jake's mom opens the door and when he says that, you know, it's late but he'd like to just quickly tell Jake something, his mom tells him they're having a family night tonight and whatever it is can wait for school tomorrow.

So Bradley gets back home, gets grounded by Mav (and discreetly ungrounded by Ice within the same fifteen minutes, because Ice is soft), and tries to fall asleep but he's jumping out of his skin because suddenly he really, really wants to kiss Jake and hold his hand and maybe hold him, actually, in his arms, for as long as he lets him.

He drives to Jake's house in the morning to pick him up like he always does on Fridays and Jake's mom tells him he's already out, taking his sister to school. Jake didn't text him about it so Bradley texts him to ask if everything is okay with him but doesn't get the reply.

They meet in front of the school, at their usual waiting spot.

Bradley barely manages to get into Jake's hearing range and some guy from Jake's football team comes up to them and starts chatting and Bradley holds back from physically shutting him up because he needs to talk to Jake and he can't do it with people around.

"Hey, now that everyone knows you and Bradshaw aren't together-together, I thought maybe you could go—"

Bradley knows where he's going and hell no.

He grabs the guy by his shoulder and squeezes, nails going through the jersey, smiling through his teeth at the guy.

Jake, bless his heart, entirely not focused on anything today, just asks, "Huh?"

Bradley gives the guy a reminder squeeze and lets go, clapping him on the back a bit too hard, until he clears his throat and mutters, "Nothing, nothing. I'll see you around, dude."

By their lunch period, he had to dodge four other people who wanted to ask Jake to prom — two girls who Jake would've said no to, anyway, because he's gay, and a guy from Bradley's baseball team, a guy from their sophomore art class, and two guys Bradley has never even met — and thank fucking god they had most of their classes together.

He was planning on asking Jake out after school, when they finally had some time alone, but there are two periods they don't have together and around two hours after with their sports team before they finish and he's not taking the chances.

So when Jake grabs his lunch from his locker, Bradley takes him by the hand and walks them between the crowd until they're in the music rehearsal room.

Until his junior year, Bradley was the main pianist for their theater club. At times when it was premiere season, Bradley would sit in the rehearsal room, learning to play new songs, and Jake would sit on the floor next to the piano and study. Usually, before they left, Bradley would check his English homework.

"What are we doing here?"

Suddenly, Bradley is really nervous — what if he's reading it all wrong? What if it's just him? What if Jake changed his mind and doesn't want to go to prom with him or be together?

So instead of spilling the beans, he says, "Thought we could come here for old times' sake."

He closes the piano cover and Jake sits down next to him on the bench. When he takes out his lunch, he hands Bradley a couple of honeycomb cookies his mom must've made. He's not looking at Bradley, uncharacteristically quiet like he's been the whole day.

He doesn't know how to start so he says, begging Jake to look him in the eyes the whole time, "I told Mav about the yearbook thing."

"Yeah? He must've laughed his ass off too."

"No, he actually thought—he thought you were my—my boyfriend, for real."

Jake fidgets, sliding a couple inches away and still not looking at him. Bradley tries not to panic. "Ridiculous, right? That anyone could think that."

Bradley tries to breathe. Tries to push the words out. "I mean, is it really? I mean, you're—and I'm—"

Jake glances at him, just for a second and that meadow green is gone, and god, he hopes he's right about this.

"We kind of—fit together, right? We wouldn't be friends if we—That's not what—" He hates this. "I wouldn't mind being more than friends."

"Best friends?" Jake questions, turned to him but still not looking at him.

"No, I mean, more than that."

Jake's breath hitches and he can see his chest puffing as he holds it in. "Like—a couple?"

"Yeah, one most likely to get married, if you want—"

Suddenly, he's got an armful of Jake pressing into him and he barely manages to hold them both from rolling off the bench.

Jake is speaking into his neck but he can hear the smile in his voice. "You want to be together? And date? And go to prom? And—"

"That was the next thing was going to ask before someone crushed me."

He snorts, into Bradley's shoulder, and Bradley could fucking burst out of happiness. "Are you calling me heavy?"

"I'm calling you a guy who tackles other guys to the ground well enough to have a scholarship for it." He lets himself tuck his nose into Jake's hair, the smell of strawberries and mango of his sister's shampoo calming him down. He's never been close enough to smell it so intensely. "So, prom, right?"

"I'm choosing your tux. And your tie."

(sorry, this is where we're ending, it wasn't much I'm afraid)

[crosbyism]

HELLO IM BACK (the sid should have gender affirming sex anon) bc i just realized the real and true reason for sid’s old jock. it looks like an infection hazard right?? THATS THE POINT. the constant dick checks needed to prevent a rash. having a glorified 15 step korean skin care routine for his dick and balls. demanding nate double check his junk.

i had a whole thing about sid fucking his way across the masculinity spectrum to tell u and i can’t express it rn :( i am slightly high i think sid starts out w some fairly stereotypical cishet ideas of masculinity and sex, thinking in the middle of the flyers era misgendering. assumes his visceral negative reaction to getting babygirled is as much the sub part as gender (also bc prob has a lot of cishet ideas about gender and penetration and power) then he gets baby boy-ed and it’s like iiiii can shooow uuuu the woooorld like i think he’s a switch (sex competition!) which imo is underexplored but idk maybe he was operating off the hind brain assumption that bc he was topping in a certain sitch he’s be in charge and gets baby boy-ed by a power bottom. or maybe he tries anal but decides penetration doesn’t get him the way a handjob does bc he wants to touch dicks! idk i think sex gets a lot more wet n wild when penetration isnt treated as “realer” than all other forms even if it can be fun! i am high and this is probably a more nuanced topic than i can express rn sorry :( i just was struck w inspiration about sid’s nasty jock and demanding his junk be looked at to see if other ppl thought he was getting a rash or not

sid gets wiggly when condescendingly called sport

ur so right re nate and the eroticization of the everyday via sid’s masculinity kink. also i think one time the sink breaks and sid’s hind brain is like I Know What To Do and it’s not until he’s standing in front of the sink wearing a white tank top jeans toolbelt and holding a hammer (for a sink???) w nate staring at him expectantly that sid realizes he got all his knowledge from porn and has no clue what to do when facing an actual sink

also i think nate can trick? sid into doing chores if he frames it as fulfilling sid’s being a middle aged man kink. home depot dad kink. babe bring home the bacon. hey handsome going hunting? (grocery shopping). hey stud gimme a ride? wow we should compare charcoal vs gas grill maintaince. man these burgers are so good u gotta show me the recipe

i’ve mostly talked about sid here but ur nate idea w him having his everyday in a box and sec in a box and sid exploding the boxes is soooooo good

ok bye im going to go eat peanut butter. wait no i have chocolate cake!!!!

BESTIE WELCOME BACK 😍🥰😘 lol i love u and feel free to come into my inbox high and craving chocolate cake anytime. im laughing and delighted

LMAOOO re: sid’s nasty jock being an excuse for regular junk inspections, im crying ur SO right bestie. sid keeps being like: oh nooo i have to get my junk inspected again :( and someone has to fondle it while talking about my cock and balls in excruciating detail :( oh nooo what if they have to take out a magnifying glass :( to check for an infection :( and then they’d have to KEEP talking to me regularly about by cock and balls. and inspect it. every day.

anyone else: sid why don’t you just get a new jock

sid: no :) can’t. ✨superstition✨

like it would be SO ON BRAND for him. im crying. and also rolling in this headcanon like a pig in filth (read: sid’s junk in his jock)

re: sid working his way up to it and discovering the delights and dynamics of queer sex as an underbaked youngling, u r cooking and now i’m thinking about, like. sid nervously for one of his first sort of hook ups working his way up to insisting on topping with a very effeminate gay dude (since he feels safe asking for it there) and the guy just blowing his mind going “mh honey you’re such a stud, you’re gonna come and fill me right up, aren’t you?” sid goes UH. yes. YES PLEASE. and the sex essentially starts the process of boiling the frog for him, bc the guy is like. clearly at least a a decade older, clearly handling the reigns, but he’s also luxuriating in getting a cock inside him, calls sid (“just, uh. don’t call me kid, please.”) a sport, a stud, a good boy, basically sort of caringly soft doms him (“oh you’re gonna blow your load soon, aren’t you, baby boy? inside me? it’s okay baby, your big cock feels so good, i want it.”) while also begging for a cock in his ass. by the time sid walks out of there his queer third eye is blown wide the fuck open and he starts sucking and fucking his way through pittsburgh, craving nothing less than the high of shrimp colour sexual encounters. figuring out the shape of his (masc kink) sexual preferences one ultra specific hookup at a time.

the thing is that as a rookie he’s small in hockey terms, but he’s still a big guy compared to the normal population. so it’s not exactly hard to start topping dudes. but i think he does the classic dom top thing a couple of times and it gets a little boring. he loves fucking jocks, albeit starts out fucking smaller guys than him. he’s ecstatic the first time a bearded guy bigger than him goes to his knees and praises how pretty his cock is between sucking him off. he loves being called baby boy. sometimes even likes being called “kid” (but only in a specific gay hookup way). over the years he grows to like and appreciate all sorts of little masc epithets (big guy, handsome, mister, and ultimately daddy). i’m with you re: absolutely a switch, although i think he works his way up to some stuff. he just always, regardless of dynamic, enjoys sex the most when it’s full of masculinisation kink. he loves to be a dude fucking dudes. any which way. he loves touching a dick

i’m laughing so much @ nate tricking him into doing chores via middle aged dad kink bc why are u SO right about this. this is real to me. once nate figures the masc kink thing out he is milking that cow cock day and night about it. “hey handsome going hunting? (grocery shopping)” and “wow we should compare charcoal vs gas grill maintaince” are going to live in my mind rent free forever now, thank u. i’m gonna wake up in the middle of the night two weeks from now thinking: “hunting (grocery shopping)”. and the fact that sid 100% gets off on it. thrives on being referred to like this. sid wants to be the mustachioed porno plumber so bad. nate lets him tinker and break the sink even more just for the kink of it before they break 3 hours and two rounds of sex later and finally call an actual plumber. it’s a good thing they’re millionaires that can afford to break their appliances even more before hiring a professional to fix it.

[potentialguybodyswaps]

DUMB JOCK:

Holy shit dude, I can’t believe it worked

Not my plan, I knew that would work bro, I mean the whole bodyswapping thing in general.

Where should I start?

It all started in biology class where I was seated next to this guy

His name, er I guess my name now bro, is Zack

Zack was your typical sports jockey and was proud of it, constantly partying with the team, and fucking bitches on the regular. The type of life a formal nerd like me could only dream of, and would kill for.

However my guy was flunking out of multiple classes, and biology was the cherry on top, with how many classes he was failing, this was it, this would be the one that finally got him held back and kicked off the team if he failed

Just after the professor stated that there would be a project that counts for 40% of our grade this semester, I looked over to see zack swapping though multiple text conversations,

One with the team, two with two different chicks he’s been tryin to bang, and one with his parents

I only caught a brief look at the one with his parents, when he saw me looking

“What nerd? Satisfied that a popular dumb jock like me is about to flunk this class and get held back, kicked off the team, and cut off by my parents…”

“No” I said trying to sound sympathetic, “I think your a pretty cool guy, sucks that your going though that, have you tried getting a tutor?” I said remembering a small snippet of what his parents had asked him

“Yes Adam (thats me, or was me) but bro, they’re kinda expensive and it just never really helped me retain anything, I’m fucked dude” Zack had said putting his head on the table and throwing his hands and arms up around it

“Okay bro, um how about this, you and me can be partners for this project, and I’ll help you so you don’t flunk out this class okay?” I said to him trying to hide my smile from the plan that was already forming in my head

“Seriously bro” he said throwing his head up “your a life savor my dude, we should definitely hang out sometime after this”

As the bell rang, and we were getting up, I decided to start putting my plan in motion

“Hey Zack, why don’t you come over to my dorm later tonight, I already have an idea of what we could do for the project, better to start now than do it last minute, faster it’s done the faster we can forget about it, ya know what I mean”

“Sure, ya I get what you mean bro, I’ll be there later”

It was around 8 Alcock when Zack finally showed up

“So I spoke with the professor and a lot of topics have already been picked, which doesn’t leave us with a lot of options

“I proposed a certain idea to him and he agreed to it despite it being very unorthodox… however I don’t think you’ll like the idea” I said pressing my nerdy classes closer to my face

“Ya anything bro, I gotta pass this class, what is it” Zack said somehow looking stressed but carefree as usual

I proceeded to walk across the room and dig into one of my dresser drawers and pulled out the swap pump 3000

And brought it back to show him

“Um like bro, this isn’t gonna be some gay shit is it, Cause that looks an awful lot like a double ended penis pump, or some shit bro” he said looking nervous

“Yes and no” I said

“It’s a device used to swap bodies, but the professor wants some sort of proof “

“So after we swap we gotta talk to him individually and answer a whole bunch of questions that only us being really us would know, and then right an essay on what being the other person is like and how different it is from our usual day to day life” I said confidently handing him the swap pump

“Decision is yours but it sounds pretty easy doesn’t it

Basically just an essay right? “

Zack continued to fiddle with it in his hands before sighing “I mean no offense I don’t really wanna swap bodies with a nerd or anything, no offense. but I guess your right, I need to pass and it does sound easy, not really a hard decision, even for a dumb jock like me bro haha” he said while unbuttoning his jeans and pulling them down, letting his dick flop out…

“Fuck it, let’s get this shit over before I change my mind, how does this shit work bro” he said slipping his dick into it

“That’s fine right there” I said eyeing his massive cock and balls as I walked over to sit next to him. “Look away” I said feeling sheepish

“Why bro, don’t be shy, it’s gonna be my body anyways soon, you know what, fine I don’t care bro, whatever” he said turning his head looking away

It was then that I felt my heart beating out my chest, I was about to have everything I ever wanted, this was so worth the 2 grand I spent on this machine… only reason I’ve waited so long is it’s a 1 swap device, once permanent, the device basically self destructs

I pulled my pants down and stuck my already hard dick in there. at 4 inches hard, it doesn’t go that far in… compared to Zack who soft looks the same size as me hard, and a bit thicker

I turn the device on and the machine starts doing its work, feeling like my dick is getting sucked, the machine speeding up and slowing down for both of us trying to compensate and make sure we both cum at the same time

After what felt like an eternity of getting teased with robotic head, but in reality only 15 minutes

“Aw shit bro I’m about to cum” I said

Same” said Zack looking at me

Just then we both smelt something and looked at the machine, it was smoking

Zack went to pull off the swap pump but it was too late, the moment he raised his arm we both had a mind shattering orgasm and cummed into the machine blacking out

Zack was the first one to wake up, as me.

“Adam wake up, we’ve got a serious problem Adam”

I woke up and pulled my dick out the pump, staring at my somehow still fucking hard dick, standing at attention with a thick 7 and a half inches

“My mind is racing at a thousand miles a minute, but, look at The machine Adam, look it’s messed up” I herd him say with my higher pitched nerdy voice

I looked down at it and saw the core of the machine melted with the plastic that holds the tubes together

“Oh well bro, that’s fine, right?” I said feeling a weird blissfulness in my head

“You needed to pass, we’re gonna pass and becides, technically your passing all your classes right now Adam, uh shit I mean bro… sorry I just got confused looking at myself haha” I said putting my pants back on but still keeping a hand in my underwear

“ ya but Adam” Zack started before I cut him off

“Call me Zack, bro, it’s be weird if we called each other by our original names”

“Ok, but Zack, we gotta swap back at some point, where’d you get this thing, we have to get another” he said pacing back and forth like I use to do when stressed

“I got it from some dark web website that got closed down awhile ago, plus there like super expensive, so don’t sweat it bro. I guess I’ll just have to stay as the dumb fuck boi jock, and you’ll have to stay as a nerd dude”

“But Zack” he started as I cut him off again

“Aye bro sense your the nerd now, do you think you could help me with my essay haha? Nah fuck it I don’t care haha” I said as I got up to leave but stopped at the door

“You know what Adam, I will do you a favor tho” I said taking my shirt off “dam bro, I’ve got nice abs haha… you can keep this as a souvenir of your original body tho” I said throwing him the shirt and walking out shirtless with my hand in my pants and phone in the other

“Ima go fuck one of those bitches you were texting, see ya later broski, we should still hang sometime”

[feminist-cult-following]

ranking each song on ttpd: the anthology by how lesbian I interpret them as

1. guilty as sin — literally so lesbian. the yearning, the fantasizing, the pining, the insane amount of religious imagery? “what if the way you hold me is actually what’s holy?” “I choose you and me religiously?” I SAW GAY SO I SAID GAY !!

2. but daddy I love him — the word “him” in the title be damned this is one of the most lesbian songs her in whole discography. the romance being forbidden by the whole town is enough for me. I’m just picturing two women in the south who are deeply in love but stuck in a small, conservative town. so so good and so so lesbian

3. fresh out the slammer — I always listen to this from the perspective of a woman who once struggled with internalized homophobia and forced herself into a relationship with a man. once she’s able to accept herself she goes back to her true love. I like to think to it as a sort of sequel to the way I loved you

4. the tortured poets department — I’m not even a gaylor but this song will always be about phoebe bridgers in my mind (just jokes people). but seriously this song is so gay. the title of tortured poets is reserved for lesbians

5. the bolter — for the girlies who dated men before realizing they were a lesbian and always found themselves sabotaging the relationship without knowing why

6. down bad — this is about your first lesbian heartbreak. the one that feels shifted your entire world off its axis and changed you forever. the heartbreak is one you never get over.

7. the prophecy — whatever you do, don’t think about this from the perspective of either a young girl or an older woman who’s too afraid to come out and fears she’ll never find love. it’ll shatter your heart into a million tiny pieces

8. who’s afraid of little old me? — I love to think of this song from the perspective of a deeply repressed woman with religious trauma that just came out. she grew up being taught who she was was a sin and all of these feelings of rage and resentment have been bubbling up in her for years. it makes for a very cathartic listening experience

9. the alchemy — okay okay hear me out. I will defend this placement with my life! is it about a man who plays football, arguably the most heterosexual sport there is? yes. but you have to get creative with it. think cheerleader and basketball player who aren’t supposed to be together but can’t fight their feelings! “who are we to fight the alchemy?” is one of the gayest lines she’s ever written and I will die on this hill!

10. peter — the fact that it’s named after a dude doesn’t change the fact that this always makes me think of a girl singing to her closeted ex lover. the yearning, the pining, it’s very lesbian

11. I hate it here — really gay if you interpret the secret gardens, lunar valleys, and inner romanticism through a lesbian lens

12. look in people’s windows — another one that’s really only just because I played it on repeat in my breakup era

13. imgonnagetyouback — this is so that one ex you can’t stay away from because she changed your whole life. it’s about that girl who’s like a drug (and it’s how I manifested my ex back)

14. thanK you aIMee — potentially controversial spot in the ranking but if you think about it as a woman singing to her ex homoerotic friendship it makes sense

15. florida!!! — any collab taylor does with a woman automatically earns lesbians points idc what it’s about

16 the black dog — not overtly gay but this one was on repeat during my breakup era so it will always be gay to me

17. the albatross — this one vaguely gives me lesbian vibes if you interpret it as the narrator speaking to her closeted lover

18. chloe or sam or sophia or marcus— this one is more of a treat for our bisexuals!! lesbians love you mwah !

19. cassandra — the vibes are there but not enough for me to justify putting it above any of the other songs

20. fortnight — as much as I would love to defend this as a lesbian song the lyric “my husband is cheating” and the post malone feature make that hard to do

21. loml — a heartbreakingly beautiful song but not very lesbian

22. the smallest man who ever lived — even though I think of my ex when I listen to this it still has the word man in the title which knocks it down by many lesbian points

23. my boy only breaks his favorite toys — “boy” in the title unfortunately makes this drop a lot of spots

24. so high school — absolute banger but very straight

25. how did it end? — beautiful song but there’s definitely gayer stuff on this album

26. so long, london — all I can think about is joebless when I hear this so no lesbian points for yogurt boy

27. I can do it with a broken heart — this is more girlhood than lesbianism

28. the manuscript — great but very heterosexual I fear

29. I can fix him (no really I can) — this is practically the straight woman’s national anthem

30. clara bow — also not lesbian, but definitely the album’s most underrated song

31. robin — not lesbian at all, but cute song!

[moonshynecybin]

Omgg that other anon has put ideas in my head. Imagine Bezz in Love with Vale but never daring to make a move because he puts him in a pedestal.

And then rosquez reconciliation happens and he catches them... the angst

seee i dont think hes IN LOVE capital letters with vale i think he has a sexually confusing crush that he is in denial about.... like bezz to me is the kind of guy that is really good at avoiding thinking about like. WHY he thinks/feels things. he knows he has strong feelings about stuff and if theyre generally good or bad but when he tries and put specific ass names to them he gets lost a bit in the repression weeds. among the emotional jungle. and THEN he shies away from confronting the more complex ones bc hes a BIG people pleaser who is also invested in recieving macho-man praise from people around him and the public writ large... exhibit A. collarbonegate. idk i think being gay would scare the shit out of him! bc well. some people would look at him differently. and that would be hard to swallow. so he does a lot of mental gymnastics to ignore the specificity of his emotions and why he might be having them in relation to certain people. like its okay in sports to love your homies sos os so much but it is NOT okay to want to actually get married to them because that might involve social sanctions, risk your sponsorships, mess with your career, be RUTHLESSLY talked about on social media etc... its a really big deal !!! hes invested in not being gay but also very invested in loving people within these safe little frameworks bc thats what hes allowed to do

so for instance he knows he loves cele and hes okay with admitting to crying when he got his first moto2 win and talking about how much he cares about him in articles, because thats what sports is to him/ BUT if you asked him to his face if he's IN LOVE with cele i think my guy would fully bluescreen. please reboot your motorcycle racer. cold ass flop sweat playing with his 100 million bracelets like uh why would you say that. nervous smile. like he doesnt even know why he's so nervous but he IS. has to REALLYYY do some digging into his psyche to get to the bottom of all of that i think. it takes some time. which SUCKS bc cele keeps getting his hopes up and then getting shot down in roundabout uncomfy repression dude ways so he thinks bezz is uncomfy around him :/ which he ISNT hes just uncomfy around himself 1!1

which is also lowkey why the hero worship thing with vale is sooo interesting to me (esp with his weird ass marc complex lmao) bc its so sumbliminal and essential to bezz's identity AND easy to miss. easy to explain away. until you have 8 sex dreams about the man and it gets harder to ignore. and fr just makes a lot of sense to me inside the framework of the repressed gay sports guy miasma. also the idea of vale being bezz's gay awakening is just funny to me. he's like the keira knightly for tumblr bisexuals of the motorcycle racing community