#look at this cheesy gay idiot deer

[crowleplays]

☭ decary and ivorst

Battle Intro: Uh, Ivorst, you sure about this? En’t gonna go easy on you.Victory: Heh, that was fun. You alright, hun?Half HP: I don’t go down easy! Keep ‘em comin’.Low HP: Woah, didn’t expect you to hit as hard as this.Defeat: Holy hell, Ivy, gotta add you to my sparring rotation...Death: I-Ivorst what th’hell you doin’ d-don’t touch the necklace--!Assist: Hey, a witch always comes with her familiar!Taunt: You able to even get at me from down there?Reacting to Taunt: ...we’ll workshop that later.Flee: I think you’d be better with some space to cool off, yikes.Reacting to Flee: Uh, Ivorst? Where are you goin’?Tie: Gave me a damn good run for my money, you did.Perfect Victory: Oh jeez, you feelin’ okay?Low HP Victory: Good attempt but just a bit short.Finishing Move: I’ll kiss this better later, love!

[beanjuice-duh]

Fly me to the Moon

[Next Part] A/N: Shamelessly saw some really inspiring art. Decided to write it. Probably only a three-four part fluff.

Summary: Rainbow drags Johan to New York for a thing. Johan finds out New York is pretty neat after all. 

WordCount: 3855 Warnings: None that I know of 

“This is so great, I am so happy you decided to come with me!” Rainbow beamed the moment they got out of JFK. “New York City, ugh, this place is absolutely amazing. Can you believe just a few weeks ago that huge protest happened right here, a united stand towards equality on the same ground we are walking on.” “Which one?” The man who accompanied her and all her chatter; rolled his luggage along as they approached the rental car station. “I’m pretty sure New York has a protest every other night. Why else would the streets be so dirty?” Bow shot Johan a dirty look as he pulled his hair into a bun. Rainbow had been invited to a Medical Convention down at Columbia Presbyterian Hospital. The convention from what Johan remembered from her babbling was just a bunch of doctors getting together to advocate their liberal ideals of health care and free, unbiased treatment. Or something… Rainbow picked out a sweet 2016 Chevy Impala. “Alright, let's go!” She spun the keys around her finger, even after flying across the country she seemed perfectly fine and fresh...in comparison to her younger brother who seemed to have grown crustier the longer he went without caffeine and wifi. “Seriously? You pick the newest car they have? Rainbow do you know where we are?” Johan shook his head, Rainbow’s naivety was showing brighter than the colors in an actual rainbow. “This car screams ‘rob me I’m not from here’” “Johan, please we are in New York City not some third world country. Now get your behind in the car or I will leave you behind.” She motioned Johan into the passenger seat. With a defeated sigh he marched himself into the car dumping their luggage in the trunk. “Honestly, this is NYC, a mecca of liberal, free thinkers, don’t you feel innovation and empowerment just oozing from the atmosphere? Some say it's a lot like California.” “And just like California and every other city there is a large rate of marginalization and angry prejudices.” He countered, his eyes on his phone as he scanned yelp for the nearest 4-5 star place to eat. After a long flight and listening to Rainbow chime and chirp for hours, Johan was ready for a big breakfast and a tall glass of Cabernet. “Don’t be fooled by your idealism of cities who voted Hilary, New York is basically the Thunder-dome, shall I remind you about some of the racially charged assaults and murders that’s happened the last few years in New York alone?” “Johan if I listened to every single report about a ‘brother’ or a ‘sister’ going down because of the color of our skin I would be in over hundreds of years of negativity. Things are what they are but we still have to live on, for example I had a patient once came in with a nasty tumor, it looked life threatening and lo and behold…” And there she went. Johan tuned her out. He wished he had his sister’s ability to look at a clearly black and white world and see nothing. She lived in a world where she could fix things and the color of skin didn’t matter. Johan was living in the now, with President Trump and countless senseless acts of injustice. It was times like these he wished he was back in Europe, backpacking his way to seclusion away from the worries and troubles of their present world. Alas, Dre basically begged him to go with Bow, with reason. If this was how she was coming to New york, with some cinematic mentality of a hopeful city then there was a good chance Dre would be looking for wife number 2. Not to mention Bow was expecting.

After a good hour moving through streets that mirrored LAX, bumper to bumper traffic and an endless symphony of horns blasting from all directions, Johan finally looked up from his phone. (Because it died). He noticed Bow was leaning into the steering wheel, squinting at the nearby street sign. “...you’re lost.”

“Nooooo” she held out the word for some time, puckering her lips as her eyes look more and more like a deer caught in headlights. “I’m just...making sure what number we’re on.” Rainbow made a left down from Ft. Washington and West 176th street into a little Avenue called Haven. The brick buildings were jammed together side by side it looked like they were built as one continuous unit. She parked the car in front of a corner store and sighed. “Ok...we have to be close…” she ran her hand along the side of the steering wheel. “This looks like a little local place.”

“This looks like the where that murder case happened.” Johan answered her.

“What case?” Rainbow blinked, curious if this was truly the scene of a crime.

Johan’s lips turned up into a cold smirk, “the one where two Californians were lost in the ghetto’s of New York city and found dead and dumped into the Hudson. One a wonderful, handsome, well loved adventurous spirit and his idiotic sister who happened to be a decent doctor.” He wasn’t surprised Rainbow slapped his shoulder. He was a little surprised it actually hurt. “Bow just use the GPS on your phone.”

“Or instead of wasting batteries I can ask for directions. My phone is dying and Dre promised he’d call me when the kids got home from school.” She was not going to lose the rest of her battery for something as silly as directions. “Why don’t you use your GPS?”

“My phone died, where is your charger?” Johan arched his eyebrow.

Bow did the same, copying his expression. “In my luggage, where is yours?”

“Same.” There was a silence between them, absorbing their shared moment of absentmindedness. Neither willing to dig through their luggage for a couple of chords. Siblings through and through.

“Look, locals have the best directions. I’ll go ask one and we’ll be on our way. I have to check into the Hospital before we get to our Hotel.” Bow exited the car leaving the keys and the car unlocked. Not waiting for protests the pregnant doctor scampered across the street to a nearby appliance store. Johan watched his hard headed, pregnant sister did whatever it was she wanted, and hoped he didn’t have to be the one telling Dre he lost her. It took him a split second to realize she left the car unlocked and keys still in the ignition.

“She is seriously asking for someone to …AH?!” He jumped at the sight of a young man walking past the car. His hands in his jacket as he tilted his head, eyeing up the vehicle. Johan scrambled to take the keys from the ignition and locked the car. The loud click of all four door locks going off made the young man stop in mid-step. He gave Johan an undisturbable look before continuing his stride into the corner store.

“Sonny you’re late...Again.”

“Aw~ chill out primo, I was at class.” Sonny smirked walking through the chip aisle, snagging a bag of fifty cent doritos. His cousin shook his head, the class did nothing for his slang apparently.

“Nice try, your last class was over an hour ago.” Usnavi glared from behind his polished counter. “Let me guess, you were with your boyfriend, again.” He grunted not waiting for Sonny’s confirmation, his silence was enough. “I hope Pete is worth the pay cut.”

“Aw, come on, Navi! Don’t be like that.” That got Sonny’s attention. He came out from the aisle and leaned over his counter. “Pete is going off to art school in California, I gotta take these moments as they come.”

“Art School in California? Is that what they call moving-into-your-abuela’s beach-house-so-you-can-get-high-all-the-time these days?” Usnavi didn’t hide the fact he wasn’t too keen on Sonny’s choice of lovers. Not because he was gay, god no, Usnavi was not like that. It was because Pete had...so little professional ambition. Sonny was studying hard, got himself through community college now was looking at a fancy scholarship. Sonny wasn’t like Nina, it took him two years of ass busting in a community school to get his GPA to a place he could even be offered a dime. Usnavi was his biggest supporter though the idea of him losing it all rang a little too close to home. Luckily Sonny knew what he wanted, he wanted to get into law. Make the world a safer place, it wasn’t too long ago someone in their neck of the woods was faced with injustice. Sonny was living in the prime of social justice. The world needed more Sonnys in Usnavi���s eyes. That all said that didn’t mean he was going to take it easy on him. “Real jobs would fire you for how many times you’re late. No more lovey sob stories, get here on time.”

“Si señor” Sonny rolled his eyes, he leaned back eyeing up the fancy Impala that was illegally sitting in front of the store. “Yo I think he’s lost.” Sonny motioned to the skittish, big haired man sitting in the car staring out of every window.

“He’s probably waiting for someone.” Usnavi was guilty of standing around waiting for someone to run back to the car. Parking in New York was terrible. “He’ll leave soon.”

“Nah, man locked his car when he saw me pass by. He’s totally not from New York, he’s lost. I know that face.” He pointed with a cheesy covered fingertip. “That's the same face those tourists get when they realize they don’t know how to get out of Time Square. Man is lost.”

Usnavi looked out the window and wondered if it was true. He did look nervous. Not to take offense, most people who didn’t grow up in the Heights or anywhere else would have been frightened of New York City. It was a pretty intimidating city at first glance. Gritty and hard to make a living, but the real locals were just regular people trying to get by. None of those thugs and criminals sneaking around every corner with a glock in their waistband. Sure, they had some, every place had some but overall...people here were just like family. All living life and wanting the same thing...a fucking break. “He’s fine.”

“We should help him out, like, get him to buy something for directions.” Sonny nodded, partly because he wanted to mess with him a little more. “I got it.”

“Sonny? Sonny! Get your ass back here--aye mi madre ese niño me va da un solo ataque del corazón! (this kid is gonna give me a heartattack!)” Usnavi felt the stress rising as he watched Sonny walk out of the store and right up to the car. All Usnavi could do was wait, and have 911 on speed dial in case Sonny got himself into trouble.

Sonny approached the car once more. He peered into the window and gently tapped the glass. Johan jumped in surprise, he placed a hand to his chest like he was some B rank movie actress caught in a bad scene. He merely watched as Sonny motioned him to lower his window. Everything in him said get the hell out of here but he couldn’t drive off without Bow...she knew where their hotel was. Slowly, Johan pressed the window button and lowered it only just an inch. “Yes? C-Can I help you?” He was well prepared to give all of Rainbow’s belongings to save his neck. “You lost, friend?” Sonny smiled, a dimple forming at one side of his face. He looked...a lot more approachable when he smiled, just a young man with a very...openly friendly face. “Just askin’ cause like...you’re kinda parked in a no standing zone...Don’t want you to get a ticket...so if you need directions or something?” Johan looked up and noticed there was, in fact, a white and red sign that said no standing in front of the car. “Uh.” He blinked for a second. There was a catch, what was the catch, if he stepped out of this car right now was he going to get shanked? Johan was momentarily possessed by his sister’s spirit and got out of the car. Unlike her though, he took the keys and locked it once he stepped out. “A bit, yeah.” He admitted, looking down at Sonny. Before Sonny could implement his plan on of swapping knowledge with profit, Johan’s stomach growled like something fierce. It was nearly noon and they still hadn’t stopped to eat anywhere. These were trying times, “Do you know where I can grab a bite to eat?” “Actually I do~” Sonny’s cheeky grin somehow got even cheekier. “I know the single most amazing little place that serves breakfast sandwiches like you wouldn’t believe!” He turned and motioned to the store behind him. “Really? Because I already believe this will give me food poisoning…” He blinked a few times but after another rumble from his stomach Johan released his good senses in favor for anything edible. Sonny waltzed ahead of him, opening the door for Johan. Surely a customer would repay his tardiness to Usnavi. As soon as they walked in they were greeted with a “Good Morning.” Usnavi smiled brightly from the counter. Johan paused, the greeting wasn’t the regular top of the morning, how are you, please get what you want and leave sort of greeting. It was a homey almost welcoming sort of greeting. It had a ring to it like he was walking into someone’s kitchen. Too bad this place smelled like someone’s dank cooler. “What can I get for you?” Johan moved his eyes from the warm voiced fellow by the counter and scanned the menu for sometime. He was silent until Sonny tapped the counter with his knuckle and ordered for him, “Give him the best you got, primo.” Sonny winked at his cousin. Usnavi nodded and started cooking up his famed breakfast sandwich paired with a coffee all under five dollars. A deal New Yorkers dreamed of. “So, tell me, where you headed? Maybe I can help you out.” Right, directions, the other thing Johan needed. “My sister and I are looking for…” He snapped his fingers a bit, she had been talking about all flight...all week...what was .. “Colombian Hospital?” There was a small laugh that came from the griddle. Johan’s ears grew warm and pink at the sound. “You mean the ER? Uh...thats like...if you go down Broadway...or take River Drive.” Usnavi looked up from his griddle “Sonny shut up, you don’t even know how to get to your house without your maps app.” He continued to smile finding the lost newcomer funny, but he couldn’t sit there and get the poor man even more lost. “It's not maps app, its google, lord.” He rolled his eyes at his old fashion cousin. “Yeah, yeah why don’t you make yourself useful, man the griddle.” Sonny begrudgingly obeyed, he walked around the counter and took over Usnavi’s spot. While Usnavi went back to the counter top, facing Johan now. “Columbia Presbyterian Hospital, you’re real close. River Drive is terrible, you’re going to be stuck there for hours. What you’re gonna do is follow Haven down to 168th and Ft. Washington again and boom, it's gonna be right there, you can’t miss it.” “Huh, we were on Ft. Washington I wonder how we missed it to begin with.” Johan was a little ...surprised that Usnavi helped him so quickly and easily. A part of him felt a tad guilty for being so judgmental a few moments ago. “Don’t sweat it most newcomers aren’t taking in the sights of the city, they’re too busy watching their backs and keeping their eyes on the street.” He was no stranger to people being wry. “Once you pull back the stink of the city you get use to the people, and nothing about it is scary.” “Yeah only scary thing around here is your hat~” Sonny chuckled, earning himself a glare from Usnavi who purposely adjusted his cap a little more. “The hat is fine.” Johan blurted out, unsure why he felt like coming to the defense of Usnavi. He was so warm and welcoming, though watching him glare was probably equally as strangely warm and satisfying he felt the urge to insist otherwise. “I mean...its dated yes, but newspaper boy hats are cute, its like a ...Newsies style.” He spoke and both Usnavi and Sonny gave him a blank stare. Johan felt the heat rise to his face, “a Melton look?” They blinked in unison. Johan felt his cheeks heat up with color. “Its vintage, very cute.” “Ah…” Usnavi’s face did the same, he didn’t get most of the references but what he did get was the word ‘cute’. Usnavi was facing an academic so it seemed. “I mean they’re not all the rage with the kids now but wait a few more years.” “Actually kids now are loving the throwback vintage looks, France use to be big on berets, then they stopped once the Americans began sticking them onto every French representation from character to cartoon like it was meant to signifies this was French. Now it's back in style, more so even.” Johan rambled ostentatiously about his beloved-temporary home of France. How he missed teaching there...though it was nice to be home. He felt himself caught between wanting out of this place and wanting to be part of a family. Either way Johan was in a standstill in his life, suddenly talking about France was not doing him any good. Usnavi must have noticed the change in Johan’s face once he stopped rambling, the excited glow had subsided. 

He did what he did best, a poor, awkward joke in hopes for a smile. “Is it as the French say, c'est magnifique?” Usnavi literally only knew that word from a movie he saw once. Johan’s eyes softened a bit. His pronunciation was pretty poor. Usually he didn’t take the jokes without undoing them and making them no longer funny. But something about Usnavi’s shy delivery combined with probably how mind-numbingly hungry Johan was made him chuckle a bit. “I would say your accent is equally magnifique.” Johan placed his hand on the counter, leaning in a bit as Usnavi placed a fist to his mouth, covering his shaky laughter. His other hand tipped down the brim of his hat. There was a strange warmth that washed over him, and it wasn’t just the summer heat of the city beating down on the corner store. Usnavi wasn’t use to having a charismatic customer like Johan...it was nice talking to someone who wasn’t a regular. A clean slate. Usnavi found the courage to meet Johan’s gaze and didn’t question why he found himself smiling wider at the sight of him. “How do you like your coffee?” Sonny’s voice broke both their gazes,forcing Johan to look over at Sonny and Usnavi to look down at his counter. “Hm... “ He looked over the store again, “I’m going to guess you don’t serve freshly ground beans?” Usnavi smirked shaking his head a bit, “Sadly we don’t grind our own beans but we have the best coffee in New York.” The shorter man turned around and picked up a yellow tin can and placed it in front of Johan. “May I entice your senses to the single most amazing brand, the very lifeblood of our people. Bustelo Coffee.” He motioned to the can, Johan rolled his eyes but his smile was wider than ever. “I recommend drinking it light and sweet unless you want to put some hair on your chest then black.”

“Whats a couple more hairs on my body.” Johan answered, and Usnavi’s Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed. “I’ll take it the way you do.” He swallowed again. “I flip between light and sweet or straight black… I usually go for a happy medium.” Usnavi answered honestly unable to come up with something else that was clever. Sonny was much better at this banter, the playful kind, after a while Usnavi’s natural shyness and word fumbling came out. “I’ll take the happy medium then.” Johan was actually relaxing now, Sonny had placed a breakfast sandwich on a paper plate for him, spiced sausage with a runny egg and a couple of avocado slices. All between some buttered, toasted buns. Johan was in mid bite, enjoying the smooth, spicy, creamy sensation of a perfectly balanced sandwich when Rainbow walked into the store. “There you are! Do you know why the car is locked I swore I left it unlock..” She walked over to Johan, his mouth full of food. She looked over at Usnavi and smiled brightly. “Good Morning” He beamed politely. “...also I recommend not leaving your car unlocked. I don’t think anyone around here would rob it but I know plenty of knucklehead kids who would gladly take a nap in a car with an a/c” “Jesus, I do that one time and I never hear the end of it.” Sonny groaned, “the guy didn’t even press charges.” Usnavi chuckled, giving Johan some time to chew before addressing his this woman, was this the sister he mentioned?  “Where have you been?” Johan glanced over at her, running his thumb against the corner of his lips to save a morsel of food. He was damn hungry and this was a damn good sandwich even for his palette.  “I was looking for someone to give me directions, I ran into several people but...we had a bit of a language barrier.” She blushed a bit, “I didn’t think my Spanish was too bad.” From the look she was giving him, and the fact she was empty handed oh it must have been bad. Johan didn’t say that out loud though. “I got directions, no thanks to you. It just proves my resourcefulness in the city surpasses your weird romanticized ideals of this city.” “You’re Welcome!” Sonny called out from the back again. Rainbow shook her head, “Ok, fine, maybe you’re a little more savvy than I am. But this city is a lot nicer than you say it is.” She jabbed her finger into Johan’s arm. She turned to Usnavi and Sonny smiling, “Thank you for the directions, Johan pick me up a coffee, I’m going to get in the car before we get hit with a ticket!” Bow scampered out of the store. Johan felt eyes on him, Usnavi’s eyes who were staring up at him with a thousand questions. “So you think the city is pretty bad huh?” Usnavi accused in a way that sounded playful but Johan still felt guilty. “Blame the media falsely glorifying the common chicanery about New York.” He blushed a bit, Usnavi’s face softened. “...but she’s right, New York is a lot nicer than I imagined…” Perhaps, that or the people were nicer than he expected. “My sister and I will be here for a while so who knows, I might pop by for the ‘best coffee in New York’” Johan grabbed the remainder of his sandwiches and the coffee, playing for everything with a ten. “Keep the change.” Usnavi cranked his neck a bit watching Johan leave. His eyes glued to the man’s retreating back as he slid back into the 2016 Impala. He was left with only more questions, who was that strange human being. The entire time he realized he got no name from him. Nothing, just knowledge he was here and he might come back. A tender smile started to inch its way across his face. “Sweet, if he turns into a regular that HAS to make up for me being late~ Right?” Sonny smirked, Usnavi would have barked something back at him. Instead he was silent. “Usnavi?” He blinked a few times, watching his cousin. From the side all he could see was his brother’s face as the car drove off and left their store. Sonny glanced at the empty space where the car had been then back at his cousin wondering what was going on. When the answer came from Usnavi’s mouth. “You think he’ll actually come back?” (Ohyeshewill)