#look at him and his stupid mcdonalds hairline

[twistytwine]

I love dumb unfinished sprites

[twst-random]

Ace is definitely that one friend that defends his friends when they’re being made fun of

—

“Epel, are these the guys?” Ace asked

“Ace— It’s fine really, you don’t have to do anything-“ Epel tried

“Nono, I just want to talk to them 😇” Ace innocently said

Epel knowing that innocent tone tried to stop Ace

“ACE NO—“

Epel couldn’t do anything to stop Ace

—

“Uhh.. what’s happening here??” Deuce asked confused on why Ace was yelling at 3 second years

“Apparently Epel got insulted by those guys and now Ace is going off on them” Jack replied while eating popcorn

“Oh okay”

“WAIT WHAT?? DO YOU NOT REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED WHEN ACE LAST DID THIS??” Deuce yelled

“Yeah, but they deserve it tbh” Answered Jack

“Oh? What’s happening and why is Ace yelling at those 3?” Vil suddenly approached as he happened to walk by

Deuce yelped as he heard the pretty mans voice

“Oh uh- uhm.. mm…—“ Deuce tried replying but got interrupted by Aces shouting

“YOU DO NOT MAKE FUN OF EPEL YOU NASTY MUSTY DUSTY SMELLY DIRTY CLOWN ASS—“

“Hmm.. all because of my sweet potato? Interesting..” Vil mumbled

They then immediately switched their attention to Ace violating the 3 second years

“ALL OF YOU LOOK LIKE YOU HAVE A PART TIME JOB AT A CARNIVAL, YOUR DADS PROBABLY NEVER RETURNED FROM GETTING THE MILK, AND ALL OF YOU HAVE NO BITCHES.”

One of the second years was about to open their mouth to defend themselves but quickly got silenced by Ace

“NUH-UH, YOU DONT GET TO SPEAK. Oh you… you were the one who told Epel he’s girl and will never be a boy.😐”

Epel looked down when Ace said that. Some people would make fun of him for being trans and pick on him for that reason

“Since you can’t shut your transphobic mouth i’ll fucking super glue it. If i hear your mouth ONE MORE FUCKING TIME I WILL LITERALLY PUNCH YOU.” Ace angrily said

“Well my bad I wanted to point out that shes a girl pretending to be a boy!” One of the second year yelled

Ace got real mad after hearing that.

“shut yo skin tone chicken bone google chrome no home flip phone disowned ice cream cone garden gnome extra chromosome metronome dimmadome genome full blown monochrome student loan indiana Jones overgrown flintstone x and y hormone friend zone sylvester stallone sierra lain autozone professionally men silver patrone suck my ding dong head ass pubg fortnite flip phone remote control dreilly auto parts silver bronze ash amiibo uv light pen sushi ramen harrison ford gamer bitch ass virgin lamp thermometor lean mean string bean charlie sheen limousine canteen trampoline serpentine antihistamine wolverine submarine unclean nectarine broken gene halloween defective spleen smokescreen lames dean putting green tiny peen anti vaccine aquamarine eugene extra green nicotine vamline jellybean magazine protein lightnings mcqueen vending machine wharchu mean Ocean Man by Ween head ass with hisuglybass snag a toothass bitch fucking rat ass bitch breath smell like fucking metal and toxic gas fuckign uglybass hoe bitch get yp and make tour own sandwich im toed of this bitch looking like a fucking lob chopper with hs ugly ass you fucking ugly ass coco nut ass built bitch you fucking iphone 11 built like ass hoe built like a stuffed fucking purse fat ass bitch looking like a white little boys fucking hairline fucking annoying ass bitch, looking like that bitch Rom ratatouille ugly ass bitch you fucking no for nothing ass bitch smelling like fucking acid dirty ass bullet bag ass hoe built like my none existent ass bitch BUILT LIKE A WHOLE MCDONALDS MENU BOARD IN THE DRIVE THRU CUBE ASS BITCH UR BUILT LIKE AN !PHONE 11 CRACKED BITCH ASS BROKEN PHONE ASS BITCH LOOKIN ASS BITCH LOOK LIKE THAT MONA LISA ASS BITCH FROM RATA-RC/UWE BITCH LOOKING LIKE A MONA LISA GONE WRONG U LOOK LIKE KIRA WHEN HE GOT RAN OVER STUPID BITCH ASS LOOKIN LIKE ASS OF UP BEFORE I WILL PERSONALLY SEND MY FUCKING FISTS TO YOUR FACE. And i swear to FUCKING god why the fuck is your bubble gum dum dum belt buckle banana truphle Huned Knuckle knuckle Jones underground flint stone x and y friend zoned Sylvester Stallone Sierra Leone auto zone professionally seen silver Patrons stone cheek bone alone cyclone homegrown jawbone postpone unknown megaphone un grown hydrozone moricone muscle tone safety stone microphone progesterone mountain anemone bone grown allophone cyclone ankle bone leave me alone tik tok knock knock 12 O'Clock Plug walk Millie walk night hawk peacock moon walk engine block interlock penny stalk after talk alarm clock interspawk sour dock down the block poison hemlock jay walk chalk walk hawk squawk electrical shock metamorphic rock sedimentary rock my glock has a lock lack sack six pack lack around the track pack the snack in a crack Kodak black backpack feedback attack a kodiak asma attack in my back data track maniac telephone rack in my stack bushwhack dentist plaque bumper track heart attack hack tac quack quack flack pack in rack tippy tap slap the baseball cap frap trap crap nap gap zap trap lap whack back lap tap handicap weather map hair air sac track comeback halfback knickknack bounce back hatchback look back extra tax macaque pack back unstuck clack lunch snack or treat smell rycovenantmustdie feet tweet tweet on the street so fucking annoying. 😐😐” Ace finished his 5 page 20 paragraph per page, and he said that in ONE breath gawh lord lordy

—

“Ace I understand that you wanted to defend your friends, but did you really have to say that?” Riddle scolded his favorite dorm mate

“They had it coming smh”

I am literally cryingI WROTE THIS AT 3:43am and i have school RUHGAHHHJAJAJ

THIS FANFIC FEELS AND LOOKS SO ASS

[hold-me-sickfics]

14 Days: J-Hope (Part 1)

Aaaaaand we’re at J-Hope! I had to split this fic into two parts because I wanted to do an injury/hospital and then a “back at home recovering.” Huge thank you to @thatoneemokpop-02 for the help on ideas and proofreading and all the support! (BTW: thanks to them, there will be a few major fluffy and sweet moments in part two!) 

TW: Emeto, injury (broken bones), fainting, hospital, anxiety/panic attack, food (if there are any I missed, please let me know!)

Prompt: Dance practice has been grueling. Every day, Hoseok has been in the studio practicing from 6:30 a.m. till around 8:00 p.m. at night. The others tell him it’s too much, but he insists that he’s just going over the routines on video for part of it, and that he’s taking breaks regularly. The members all know that Hoseok is overworking himself, but they can’t keep him from it. But what happens when Hoseok finally pushes himself over the edge, and makes a mistake? The kind that might keep him off his feet for a couple weeks…

“Is he home yet?” Namjoon came into the apartment and closed the door. The air outside was frigid, so he was glad he’d worn a thick coat.

“Nope. Won’t even answer his phone.” Jin tapped away at the keypad, dialing Hoseok’s number again.

A couple seconds later, Jin turned the phone to face Namjoon and put it on speaker.

“We’re sorry. Your call could not be completed as dialed. Please check the number and try again.” The dial tone started up once again. Jin hit the end call button and placed the phone on the counter.

“I can’t believe this. He swore he’d be home by 8:00.” Namjoon sat down and placed his face in his hands. “He’s gonna hurt himself Jin. He’s putting too much stress on his body and I don’t know if he even cares. He’s so consumed with perfecting those routines that he’s pushing himself too hard.”

Jin brought over a mug of coffee.

“I know. I wish he’d take a break, but the best thing is just to wait until he perfects it and calms down on his own.”

Before Namjoon finished his coffee, Hoseok half-stumbled through the door.

“I thought you were gonna be home by 8.” Namjoon took another sip.

“Sorry. Just wanted to do one more run through.”

“It’s 11:30 at night Hoseok. You’ve gotta stop.”

“Don’t worry about me. I’m alright. See?” Hoseok straightened up and showed the others that he was alright.

“I’m not gonna let you run yourself into the ground like this! What if you get hurt?” Namjoon didn’t mean to raise his voice, he just felt so worried that he couldn’t help himself.

“Easy Joon. I think he gets it.” Jin looked the dancer over.

“Hobi, are you alright? You look really pale.” Jin touched his palm to Hoseok’s face.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine.” Hobi looked at Namjoon weakly.

“Hobi, I’m sorry. I’m sorry okay? I just… I worry. Jungkook just got stitches put in a couple months ago, and he’s just now back. I don’t want anything to happen to you or any of us for that matter.”

“It’s alright Joon.” Hoseok half-smiled to show him that it was okay. “I’m just gonna go to sleep. I think I need rest more than anything. Goodnight guys.” Hoseok got up slowly and went to his room.

“I’m really worried Jin.” Namjoon took the last sip of coffee, and then placed the mug in the sink.

“I am too. But, there isn’t anything we can do right now. Honestly, Joon you need to rest yourself. You’ve got that Zoom meeting with BigHit in the morning and you look like you’ve been up for days.” Jin rubbed his back.

“Maybe you’re right.”

Jin and Namjoon prepared for bed, but little did they know, Hoseok was in a lot more pain than he let on.

Hoseok could feel each muscle in his body just aching- aching like they had been put through a ringer and then put back in him. He refused to take any pain meds, and just hoped that a hot shower and a good night’s rest would help.

Well, 5:00 a.m. came, and Hoseok couldn’t believe it, but he felt even worse. He decided to leave the house and head to the studio before the others were up so they wouldn’t ask questions. He did stop and grab breakfast at a local McDonald’s before he started up, but he would soon realize that the buttery biscuit and crisp bacon with a coffee and an orange juice would come back to bite him.

He reached the studio, and proceeded to start the music and jump right into the routine he’d been practicing the night before. He really, really should have stretched.

“Light! It! Up! Like! Dynamite!”

Hoseok kept getting stuck at the part where he had to move his feet quickly and get back in formation. He decided to run it again, and try to get it right this time.

“Light! It! Up! Like-“

And everything went black…

“Hoseok! Hoseok? Hey can you hear us?”

Hoseok awoke to staff members standing all around him. Two of them were on the phone, three were from the med staff, there were six standing around talking to office staff, and there were two… oh no.

“He’s not responding to it. Hoseok, can you move your toes?”

“No no no…” Hoseok started crying. He knew what he’d done, and he was about to be paying for it.

“Okay its alright, we’re calling the paramedics.”

“I’m gonna puke-“ Hoseok turned to the side, and threw up everything he’d had for breakfast. He didn’t realize how much he’d eaten until it was all splattered out in front of him.

Then, he heard one of the staff speaking.

“Yeah, he’s awake. We’ll send a car over to pick you guys up. I don’t know how bad the break is. He can’t move his toes. It doesn’t look good.”

He must be talking to the other members. Hoseok knew he was about to be in huge trouble, but at least he’d have the others to comfort him. Now that the initial shock was over, the pain was setting in… and it hurt… bad.

“Ah aghhhh,” Hoseok turned his head to the side hoping that not seeing his leg would ease the pain. It did a little, but not enough.

“Hoseok, the paramedics are here. Just breathe, we’re gonna take you to the hospital.” Hoseok nodded in response to the staff member’s words.

It didn’t take long for Hoseok to get admitted into the ER triage room. His blood pressure was skyrocketed, he was physically exhausted, his body was extremely lacking in vitamins and he was dehydrated, and oh yeah, his right leg was broken in two places. The first place was a hairline fracture in his femur, and the second was a full break in his right ankle.

Hoseok had gotten lucky. The hairline fracture would take 4 months to heal, but it would be able to recover completely. The ankle breakage would require Hoseok to be in a wheelchair for at least six weeks, then, they’d consider switching him to crutches. Hoseok was heartbroken, and due to traffic, he had to hear the news alone…

The medical staff had to put Hoseok on some pretty high anxiety medications to help him calm down. His blood pressure was nearly back to normal, but he was also relatively knocked out. As expected, when the boys showed up, Yoongi was the first to bust through the door.

“Hobi!” He rushed to the boy’s side.

“Dang it Jung Hoseok…” Yoongi’s eyes flooded with tears. Yoongi kissed his hand, and held it close to his chest.

The doctor filled Namjoon in on the condition of their injured bandmate. Namjoon just nodded and joined the others in the recovery room.

A nurse came in and turned down the dial on Hoseok’s IV.

“Hi guys, I’m gonna go ahead and wake him up. If he’s still too panicky, we’ll have to try something different. I think the whole incident traumatized him a bit. Try to help him stay calm. No raising voices or talking about difficult topics if you can.”

Hoseok woke up slowly, and his heart began racing again.

“Hey, hey easy baby, it’s alright. Easy Hobi…” Yoongi held Hoseok’s hand with one of his own, and used the other to sweep Hoseok’s sweaty locks back off of his forehead.

“Hmmmm, hmmm…” Hoseok uttered shaky whimpers. “Yoon-Yoongi? I- I-“ Hoseok’s breathing sped up, and then he gagged. Hoseok was known for his tendency to throw up under scary situations.

The nurse held a small plastic bag under Hoseok’s chin.

“Here, may I?” Yoongi asked, standing up.

“Sure,” the nurse handed the bag over, and moved over to Hoseok’s other side.

“It’s okay, hey remember what we practiced? Hm? Look at me baby. Count to five for me. One, two..”

“T-th-three..” Yoongi relaxed as Hoseok started to count with him.

“Good job bud, okay now tell me what is something you can see right now?”

“Y-you.”

“Right. What’s something you smell?”

“Your c-cologne.”

“Which one?” Yoongi thumbed Hoseok’s hand.

“T-the one I bought you.”

“Yeah, yeah that’s good babe. That’s good. What’s something you can feel?”

“You.”

“Good. What do I feel like?”

“Cold. It feels good.”

“There you go baby. You’ve got it.”

Hoseok started breathing normally and Yoongi gave the unused bag back to the nurse. She left once she realized that Hoseok was in good hands. She did tell them that if he needed anything, to call her.

“I’m scared Yoongi…”

“I know you’re afraid. Just focus on me right now. We’re not here, we’re at home. We’re watching that stupid soap opera you like.” Yoongi chuckled through tears. Hoseok let out a small chuckle himself.

“Hoseok?” Namjoon spoke up. They all watched as Hoseok’s heart rate jumped slightly.

“Don’t worry, it’s okay. You don’t have to be scared. I just wanted to tell you I’m glad you’re alright. You’ll be alright and we’re all here for you. Even JK brought you a sprite that he’s too shy to tell you about himself.”

Hoseok’s heart rate went back down and he smiled as the other members split and let Jungkook come through.

“Here you go hyung… I thought… you might be thirsty…” Jungkook’s lip quivered, and Hoseok went into hyung mode.

“It’s alright Kookie, come here.” Hoseok still felt weak, but he lifted himself up to give the youngest a hug.

“We’re all glad you’re okay Hoseok, and we’re here for anything you need.” Jin lightly squeezed Hoseok’s arm.

Hoseok heard a couple sniffles from the back of the group.

“Jimin-ah, Taehyungie, I can hug you both too.” Hoseok held his arms out to them, and they of course came to hug him.

“Joon, why don’t we take the boys home? Yoongi, you just stay here with him. I’ll send a bag back with yours and Hoseok’s things for the night.”

“Thanks Jin.” Yoongi and Hoseok watched as the others left.

“How are you feeling babe? Any pain?”

“Yeah… it’s kinda intense. It wasn’t as bad when it first happened, but I guess I was half out of it. They were gonna give me meds but I told them I���d probably just puke them all back up.”

Yoongi stroked Hoseok’s cheek.

“Yoongi…?”

“Yeah?”

“I can’t dance… for months… what if… what if they forget… what if they forget about me?”

“Okay first, that’s not gonna happen. Second, I know that because when I had my shoulder surgery, all ARMY did was send me mail, gifts, watch my livestreams, and post videos of them crying when I wasn’t at shows. But Hoseok, you’re gonna be there. And even if you weren’t, they wouldn’t forget you. You’re their hope remember? You’re my hope too…”

Yoongi squeezed Hoseok’s hand to reassure him.

“I love you.” Hoseok’s eyes were misty.

“I love you too Hoseok,” Yoongi kissed his cheek. “Now, you just rest and let that leg of yours get healed up. I’m gonna sleep in this chair right here, and if you need anything you tell me okay? And I mean anything.”

“I promise, I will.”

Hoseok went to sleep hand-in-hand with Yoongi.

The next day would be the start of a big hurdle for Hoseok, but luckily, he had the other members by his side to help him the whole way through.

Part 2 coming soon!

[mopathiboors1974-blog]

Thank you". Fucking teenage boy could not have looked more embarrassed. I sure he still has some cashier PTSD to this day.. You're after a sun kissed natural look, right? So think about where, exactly, the sun would naturally alight on your face. Depending on your hairstyle, the likely spots would be across the bridge of your nose, forehead and chin, over your cheekbones and around your hairline. Of course, if you have bangs, skip the hairline and forehead. It be stupid to just dismiss the theme of being a responsible adult who guides kids with no ulterior motive or endgame. Him ending up with Sayu would defeat the purpose and just devolve into stupid wish fulfillment. I do hope MC manages to hold his ideals when Sayu eventually tries to seduce him for real.. Women are supposed to be the Angel in the House, master of the private sphere, not involved in public life. To reconcile this, Victoria made a public performance of being the nation exemplary mother utterly devoted to her husband and many, many children. Victoria and Albert were a model of Victorian domestic life, but this model was also very publicly performed.. I was in the exact same position as you and it messed with my head to the point I went deliriously insane for the initial weeks and then not so crazy for years to come. I can't even put all the details here but what I can tell you is that life will never be the same and your friendship with your best friend is forever changed. I'm so sorry I can't give you any advice except it will never leave you and you will cope eventually.. On the way back we got some McDonalds. He said it was the best day of his life. It was the best day of mine.. So it sounds like SSA sent you to a physiologist that they paid for and they did a basic cognitive function test on you to see where you're at. They want to know if because of your mental health, does it effect your ability to make decisions, etc. The crappy thing is, now that you're an adult, they don't want to pay you anymore, presumably until you're retirement age. And those were the ones that didn't have to be put down. They are precious but the mentality of "they don't need to you tell them how to live" is the problem. I just don't think it's funny. He started pushing her ass so i ran from my apartment and went between them escorting the crackheads wife down stairs. All along shes carrying their son and hes covered in tears and mucus. I lost my shit and went up to beat his ass. Unfortunately autozone doesn stock the brands I trust/prefer to use on any of the imports I owned. I don know if they stick motocraft or other quality domestic brands. Brands like nippon denso, timken, acDelco, aisin, ACT, and a few others I can remember off the top of my head atm, are generally what I want. Also budget for a good monitor for photography it makes a big difference and a color calibrator. I 전라남도출장마사지 haven't used the newer mbps mine is the 2014 era kind with the sd card reader built in. I have also heard good things about the Microsoft surface family of computers. Vice is a louder movie with a gallery of stars. I guess they gambled that Christian Bale as Dick Cheney affirming all your notions about 전라남도출장마사지 the monstrous Dick Cheney would be a good hook. But of course you right: they should have invested in Barry Jenkins.

[purecolby]

30- REQUEST!

“Can you do an imagine where you actually fall down the stairs and pass out but he thinks its a prank and how he reacts when he finds out its real etc.” - @floraljello

I M SO S O R R Y THAT Y O U HAD T O WAIT S O LONG F O R THIS! ! !

Im sorry you had to read that apology. I’m honestly super sorry that you had to wait so long for this. I failed! :(

“I’m hungry. I’m gonna go to McDonalds. You want anything?” You asked him. He shook his head no. “Alright. I’ll be back baby. Love you!” You waved bye.

“Bye babe.” He smiled. You smiled back and went towards the stairs. You made it to the next landing and you stepped on a skateboard and flew into the air and landed on the floor by the closet.

*Colby’s POV*

“Y/N? What was that?” You yelled. You thought maybe Sam was pulling a prank on you. “Okay, very funny.” You said as you descended the stairs. You saw Y/N laying on the floor, unconscious. “Funny prank, okay?” You nudged Y/N, hoping she’d laugh and get up. You searched for the camera meanwhile you nudged her. Nothing.

“Babe?” Your voice cracked a little bit. You got down on your knee. “Babe!?” You yelled. You grabbed her shoulders and shook her. She didn’t move.You moved the hair from over her face and she had a bit of blood on her hairline. “Y/N! Oh my god! Help! HELP!” You yelled. You heard a few feet shuffle out of rooms and run down the stairs.

“What’s happening! What’s wrong?” Sam asked frantically. He stepped down the stairs. Your eyes started to water.

“She slipped and fell and now she’s unconscious. Help me get her to the hospital! Now!” You exclaimed. Sam understood not to talk and get a move on. Corey was in shock. He didn’t move.

“Wait what? What’s happening?” Corey said. Devyn ran down the stairs.

“Y/N! Corey! What the hell?!” Devyn exclaimed. Corey jumped at the shrillness in her voice.

“Corey! She’s unconscious! Help us get her to the hospital!” You yelled. Tears now running down your cheeks

“She’s going to be fine, she’s going to be fine, she’s going to be fine.” You muttered to yourself in the emergency room. You walked around, making yourself more and more nervous. A doctor walked out, holding a notepad.

“Colby?” The doctor asked. You widened your eyes and walked over to the doctor.

“Yes? Is Y/N okay?” You asked. The doctor nodded.

“She’s fine. But she’s asleep. You can see her, if you want.” He said. You nodded, looked at the others and they followed you. You entered the room, and saw her laying on the hospital bed. Bandaged up, had bandages on her head where you saw the blood.

*YOUR POV*

You gasped and jerked up.

“Holy crap!” Colby exclaimed. His face lit up.

“What the hell happened? What the fuck is going on? Where am I?” You asked. You were getting frantic. You sat up. 

“Calm down. You slipped down the stairs and hurt your head. And in doing so, you scared the fuck out of me. Your hairline had blood, and I didn’t know if you were ok. So, we all rushed to the hospital, and didn’t leave until we knew you were okay.” Colby said. You calmed down and laid back down, adjusting. You grabbed his hand and looked at the others.

“Thank you, guys. My head hurts but I think i’ll be okay.” You giggled. Colby excused the others and sat down next to you.

“Thank god you’re okay. What the hell happened? How’d you trip?” He asked you.

“Those stupid fucking skateboards! It was on the landing and I stepped on it.” You explained, playing with Colby’s fingers.

“Well, no more skateboards in the future. I promise.” Colby said.

“More or less no more skateboards on the stairs… that is very weird to tell people about. ‘Hey! I had a near-death experience. I almost died from a head injury when one of my roomates left a skateboard on the landing of the stairs!’” You laughed,

“Fair game. I’m sorry. I’ll talk to Jake when we get back home later.” He said. Your fingers intertwined.

“Thank you.” You said lightly.

[phanfic]

Happy Birthday, Philly

It’s Phil’s thirtieth birthday and all Dan wants to do is give Phil the best sex of his life. But from falling down a hill, to sleeping next door to Phil’s parents, to being boyfriend to the most popular man in town (apparently…), it seems as though the entire UNIVERSE is out to get in the way. 

Wrapping paper from Dan’s present was still crumpled over the kitchen worktop from the morning, when Dan had dragged himself up early to wake Phil with breakfast, sleepy kisses, and present opening over generous helpings of cereal. Dan scooped it into his fist and into the bin, the bang of the lid flipping closed echoing a little in the now empty room.

After their lazy, and lovely, morning, friends had joined them for the afternoon, along with an endless stream of board games, gifts, and a couple glasses of champagne. Now Phil was in the bedroom talking to his mum on the phone. They’d been talking for over an hour now.

Dan didn’t mean to be so grumpy about it. It’s just he could hear them nattering on and on and under his clothes he had a freshly showered, buffed, and toned body (he’d been working extra hard this month), with a new pair of Calvin Klein’s, ready and waiting to be discarded. Killing time by wiping down the kitchen (and closing the cupboard doors), Dan began to hum a random tune, hoping to remind Phil he was out here and the night was still young. He even started up a slow dance with himself, swaying his hips to and fro, just in case Phil walked out and needed an extra enticement.

Phil didn’t walk out. Slowly, Phil’s voice became an even quieter muffle beyond the walls and Dan stilled, listening. His heart sunk as he abandoned the washing up and walked towards the bedroom. Of course, Phil was asleep, conked out, against the pillows. Only the sweetness of his boyfriend made Dan’s disappointment sting a little less.

“Happy Birthday, Philly,” Dan whispered, plucking the glasses from Phil’s face, and the phone from his hand on his chest. He kissed his forehead, ever so softly, once he’d drawn the covers (with only a small snuffle of disturbance from Phil) from under Phil’s body to fall over him instead. Then he turned out the light, accepting that birthday sex would have to be done tomorrow, and went himself to get ready for bed (this meant brushing his teeth and taking his phone out under the duvet cover, angling the light away from his sleeping boyfriend, whose arms flopped out in perfect invitation for snuggling later.)

~

It was part of his present for Phil; the offer of a luxurious blow job and a submissive Dan in his arms for the taking. And yet Dan felt cheated of it, as the day after Phil’s birthday passed and so too went day 3, with Phil once again collapsed of exhaustion after dinner out with other friends. Today they were packing to head up to Lancaster, and Dan was recklessly toying with the idea of jumping Phil now before they were surrounded by his parents, but Phil was concentrating on getting their video uploaded in time, and Dan knew better than to disturb him.

Luck was on Phil’s side, as the video didn’t fail part way (as it had done for Dan two days ago), and so they were off to the train station, ducking into the taxi outside. Rain erupted as if in menace onto Dan’s head as they stepped back outside, and with luck most certainly not on his side (his food had been forgotten at the restaurant last night as well, meaning he had to wait all of 40 minutes while everyone else ate), his umbrella pushed back against him and snapped, opening into a pathetically crooked form, shaking in the wind. Phil laughed – hesitantly, because he could see Dan’s face was anything but amused – and tugged Dan under his perfectly sturdy umbrella, careful to resist kissing the pout from his face as they traversed the steps into the large train station.

Wet, and heaving bags through crowds, Dan tried not to get frustrated, and finally they reached their platform, skipping quickly along to their carriage. Following what was now becoming a pattern, they found their tickets had been confused and they were seated on opposing aisles, more than five seats between them. Phil shrugged helplessly and took Dan’s case from him, lifting it onto the shelf. He waved to Dan in his stupid, adorable, way once they were seated, and Dan shyly waved back, with an attempt at a smile. It soon became apparent that he must have killed one too many ants or something because karma was out to get him. From down the carriage, Phil’s voice floated, happy and bright, chattering on to whomever was sat with him. This was really very lucky, for Phil was too awkward to be comfortable chatting to most strangers. And then there was Dan – slumped against the window, as far as possible from the family that had descended upon him, with greasy bags of McDonalds and sweating, red faces, absent of any shame as they continued to argue loudly for the whole 2 hour journey to Manchester. Not to mention the child they had, screaming and flying a toy plane in and out of Dan’s vision, elbowing him in the ribs too many times to count.

Phil was all sunshine and excitement when they arrived, even with the mizzle outside and the grey, grey clouds. Dan felt like a great big cloud himself, dragging along the pavement beside Phil. He didn’t even mention the family from hell, only shrugged when Phil asked what all the arguing was about, saying ‘it wasn’t too bad.’

The bus came quick, thankfully, and wasn’t too slow (it must have been having Phil with him, otherwise the bus would have broken down 0n a lane in the middle of fucking nowhere.) Phil’s house was lit up in every window when they stumbled down onto the street. It was so warm and inviting even Dan felt his bad mood slipping from his shoulders, like ice melted. Maybe Dan had sighed, or Phil just noticed these things, because he turned and gestured (poked) for Dan to turn his head, and kissed him. They were pressed arm to arm, sharing Phil’s umbrella. Dan’s had been abandoned long ago on some street corner in London.

“Let’s get you warmed up,” Phil smiled, pressing his two hands over Dan’s, pressed palm to palm like in prayer. They were home, so Phil kept Dan’s hand in his as they walked the rest of the way up to the house. Dan wondered on how Phil had only said ‘you’, as his cheeks were flecked with cold rain too.

~

Dan had been greeted as usual, the kindly welcome that always made him think of his own family and grimace. Or rather, feel that pulse of sadness against his chest, the little throb of longing. Tackled with hugs and hair ruffles and cheek kisses, Dan had eventually made it to Phil’s bedroom alone, with space to unpack. They were served a hearty meal, with cake and candles and presents galore, and then came the family film, squished around the available chairs and sofas. Phil was beside him, tracing fingers every now and then along his forearm, as if he could tell Dan wasn’t really there. Dan was thinking; staring at the little heap of birthday presents in the corner, under the ‘30’ banner, the 30 burnt out candles.

Phil was thirty. He’d got him good presents, reallygood presents, but he was itching, no, aching, to lay Phil down and cover him in kisses, compliment and indulge and treasure every little part of him. It was the love he was filled with, this overwhelming rush of wow, it’s been nearly 10 years. Love and gratefulness. He wanted to please Phil, remembering the first time he did. He wanted to show how much he still loved him, really show; the love and the commitment and the excitement he had for it all, even after nearly 10 years, now Phil was 30, now so much time had passed.

Dan was restless. Phil’s gentle caressing stilled to a palm laid flat over his thigh, like he were floating away, a balloon cut loose. Dan turned to stare at Phil, lit up from the TV screen. Phil gave him a questioning look, but Dan didn’t answer. Instead he took Phil’s hand in both of his and played with his fingers until the film was over.

Dan gave his answer later. Cooped up in Phil’s bedroom, much smaller than their bedroom at home – especially with the bags and the presents – Dan stumbled in from the bathroom, naked apart from Phil’s pyjama bottoms. He took careful, yet clumsy, steps over the assortment of items and collapsed onto Phil’s bed, or rather, into Phil, who groaned and then laughed softly. Dan tangled himself around Phil immediately, placing leg over leg and brushing the hair behind Phil’s ear.

He started his kisses here, at Phil’s ear, the little space in front of it, beneath the hairline, and then moved to his jaw, light as a raindrop against the soft, pale skin of his neck. Phil sighed with restraint, pressing his hand closer against the small of Dan’s back. He brushed his hand up and down Dan’s spine, closing his eyes, encouraging, and then Dan’s hand snaked down to Phil’s waist and Phil jumped away.

“Dan… My parents are next door.”

Dan kept his hand against the warm, slightly fluffy surface of Phil’s lower stomach. He arched his neck up, gazing affectionate, pleading, eyes towards Phil’s.

“I can be quiet,” he whispered, sultry voiced, and twirled a bit of Phil’s trail of hair around his finger, tugging teasingly.

Phil slammed his hand down on Dan’s, though he didn’t move it.

“You know I’m not comfortable with that,” he whispered back. Dan pouted and Phil’s eyes immediately jumped to it. “And you can’t be quiet.”

Dan opened his mouth to protest but Phil leapt his hand up to cover it, and Dan frowned, not amused. Phil almost looked apprehensive, and Dan watched as Phil seemed to forget himself and his purpose, proceeding to stare at Dan quite openly, from his tanned chest, his toned arms, to the curve of his hip. When he looked back up, hand still over Dan’s mouth, who was breathing shallowly, he got caught glancing between Dan’s eyes, their softest shade of brown, before all in one hurried motion turning Dan around to fit against his chest.

“Don’t I even get a kiss?”

Phil made a noise like he were wounded and pressed a quick kiss to Dan’s shoulder. Then another, apologetic, and a third to Dan’s cheek, who’d begun to turn his face, hoping for one on the lips. But Phil was cuddling down into him now, getting comfortable on the pillow, and so not discreetly angling his hips away.

~

It was getting comical, the luck he was having.

The following day consisted of a pub lunch and a scramble up a hill, being whipped by the wind, Phil’s dad’s hat nearly flying into the sea. It rained on and off (this time Dan had worn his best raincoat, hood up and hat on) but the ground was damp and the grass slick, and slippery. Dan hadn’t worn the best shoes. So it was as the rest of the group carefully, and successfully, traversed back down the hill, Dan tarried behind, hands muddy from crouching low to the ground. Unfortunately, even his most cautious method wasn’t good enough, and as Phil turned back, ready to scramble up to offer a hand, Dan began to skid, couldn’t steady himself, and found himself suddenly running, full pelt, down the hill, unable to keep up with the slippery tread of his feet. 

Phil yelled at him to stop, but Dan was long past that, and that’s how he ended up flying backwards, onto his ass, with a heavy, and painful, thud.

It was all jokes after. The plaster of mud over his ass; the way he’d looked especially like a noodle; how he’d so dramatically flown into the air before landing. Even Phil, who had started to run out of concern, had never quite reached him because he had to stop and bend over, laughing. He’d not let Dan get up on his own, and had been his arm of support back into town, but there was only the smallest slither of sympathy as Dan complained about the pain in his ass (when they were alone, Phil had told Dan he should be used to it.)

All the way back to the house, Phil’s dad made stupid jokes to Dan about watching his step – ‘Oo, there’s a puddle there, go slowly now, son!’ And when they were inside, Phil’s mum insisted on taking a photo of the damage before he got changed, since she had forgotten her camera. This included Phil crouching beside him, pointing two fingers at his ass. Finally, he stripped of his sodden clothes, pulled radiator-warm pyjamas over his damp skin, and sunk into the armchair downstairs, hoping to not have to move again unless it was moving to bed. Unfortunately, just about all of Phil’s extended family happened to be visiting that night, unbeknownst to Dan, who got the shock of his life when an old lady waddled in to find Dan sprawled out on the chair, laptop on his stomach, chin more than doubled. ‘Oh, didn’t we tell you Dan?’

Unsurprisingly, Phil wasn’t about to have sex that night either. In fact, it wouldn’t have even been possible, because Phil’s grandparents got Phil’s bed leaving Phil to share with his brother and Dan to sleep on the sofa, downstairs, alone. (He’d offered to take the sofa, so he shouldn’t whine here.) His ass throbbed once he was lying still, in the quiet, and no matter where he lay his bones ached and he felt 50 years older.

~

Even less unsurprisingly, Dan was sick the following morning. He woke up to a scratchy throat, clammy skin, and a nose that wouldn’t stop dribbling. He made jokes of it, how ‘first time I go out in a month, I get the flu’, but he wanted the attention anyway. It made him mopey, how everyone, including Phil, ignored him. When they’d said goodbye to Phil’s family and were on the bus back to the station, Dan let himself be childish and moaned loudly, melodramatically blowing his nose. Phil cooed a little, but only a little, and soon had his headphones in and was staring out the window. Dan didn’t bother talking the rest of the way home.

It was his only saving grace; being able to crawl into his own bed and switch off into a cave of Netflix and Malteasers. But Dan wasn’t allowed even half an hour of his happy retreat, because Phil appeared, gasped at the sight of Dan in bed, and hit his leg to get up. “We need to leave in 20 minutes!”

Dan had forgot about the (second) dinner with friends (another other friends) they’d had planned for tonight. He felt disgusting, sat in the fancy restaurant, in clothes he’d pulled on in under 10 minutes, travel-flat hair, and a sallow, sickly appearance. Candles were blown out and party-poppers were popped and there Dan was wishing ‘happy birthday’ to Phil again, giving him a smile, fake as anything, again, before they could finally – finally – go home and stay home, and no; Dan didn’t feel like sex tonight, not that Phil asked.

~

Dan slept in till midday, almost a week since Phil’s birthday, without birthday sex, and was only enticed out of bed by Phil’s offer of take-out and Game of Thrones. He was only indulged for a short while, quickly abandoned in favour of editing videos (thank god they didn’t have to film), and business emails.

By evening, Dan wasn’t feeling better, but he was feeling determined. He’d showered, made himself presentable, and had set himself up in the bedroom, ready for Phil to walk in and to start the seduction.

Only he wasn’t ready, because he fell asleep, and when Phil walked in, phone in hand, mouth open to speak, he didn’t stir, much less seduced him. Phil paused in the doorway, his friend’s voice coming out tinny through the speakers held away from his ear. He cast his eyes over Dan; floppy on the bed, shivering slightly where he was shirtless, eyelashes lightly fluttering as he slept. His eyes softened and he quietly closed the door.

“No, I think we’ll have to pass. Dan’s poorly and I need to be home with him. But thank you for asking! We’ll have to meet soon…”

~

“Hey…” Phil slid in behind Dan, who had rolled onto his side. “Daniel…?”

Dan exhaled a short breath and Phil lifted his arm, limp as a teddy bear, and hugged him to his chest.

“Wakey wakey.”

“Mmm,” Dan hummed, and Phil giggled, smiling to himself.

“We can stay in tonight.” He spoke quietly, nuzzling his nose to Dan’s neck. Dan was warm now Phil had put a blanket over him, and Phil loved how soft and lovely he was to hold. Phil walked two fingers up Dan’s arm and into his hair, where he pretended to surf on the curls there.

“…We were ever going out…?”

Upon hearing Dan speak, Phil kissed his cheek, and rocked him back into a hug.

“Er, yeah, we got invited last minute by Sophie and PJ- but it’s not important, because I said no.”

Dan groaned, suddenly awake and fidgety, and proceeded to awkwardly turn around in Phil’s arms. He settled nose to nose with Phil, who was smiling.

Looking at Phil for a moment, he sleepily let one hand pat against Phil’s cheek, like saying ‘hi.’

“Your birthday is fucking endless.”

“We’re not going,” Phil laughed, but Dan groaned again, and collapsed onto his back, blinking up at the ceiling. He dropped his arm over his eyes.

“But I’m sick now.”

“Yeah? I’ll take care of you.”

Phil placed his hand on Dan’s belly, propping himself up on his elbow so he looked down at Dan’s lips as he spoke.

“I can’t believe I fell asleep, I was waiting up for your birthday sex. And my throat is too sore to blow you.”

Phil let out a shocked laugh.

“And my ass already hurts.”

“You have been unlucky this week.”

“I know.”

“But you know my birthday long passed for birthday sex.”

“I know.”

Dan groaned even louder and flopped onto his stomach, head on his arms. Phil laughed, shaking his head. A moment of silence passed, and then from the muffles of the pillow came a tiny voice.

“I love you.”

Phil’s heart pounded, like he’d not heard Dan say it before, and a rush of affection flooded him. Suddenly he was rolling on top of Dan’s back, squishing him to a little ‘ouch’ from Dan, and pressing his hands into Dan’s hips. He kissed Dan’s upper back, lifted his head, then kissed the slightly hidden spot behind his ear.

“All I really wanted for my birthday was this…”

“Don’t say that,” Dan sighed, turning his head to the side.

“No not sex –  you.”

Dan turned his gaze up to him, but couldn’t see any further because Phil was pinning him down. At the thought, there was a sudden stirring in his pants.

“Well you have me.”

“I do…” Phil murmured, his words melting into more kisses that he trailed down Dan’s back, shifting onto his knees beside Dan’s body. There was a wonderment to his voice, and a gratefulness that made Dan’s stomach flutter.

Before Dan knew it, Phil’s fingers had hooked into the waistband of his trousers and were revealing his naked flesh to the cold air. He shivered, a hot shiver, as Phil brushed his hands over his cheeks, applying just the right amount of pressure to make that hot shiver turn hotter. And then Phil was leaning down, and Dan was exposed and Phil was kissing him, lapping at him so sweetly, so lightly, it made Dan feel like something wound up, tight, and desperate to unravel.

“This is the wrong way round, Phil…” Dan breathed, pawing little fists in the bedsheet. He couldn’t help it; the buck of his hips as Phil prodded his tongue inside.

“I-I was gonna pleasure you, I wanted to pleasure you-“

Phil slid his hands down to the sensitive backs of Dan’s thighs, and lifted up to whisper in his ear. Dan could feel Phil’s hardness against his ass, and he couldn’t help it either; how he whined.

“You are pleasing me.”

He nipped his ear.

Dan couldn’t reply to that. He went pliant and Phil sucked a half love-bite into his waist before licking back into his entrance, already pulsing.

Phil wanted to see Dan when he fingered him. So he lifted him from the inside of his upper arm and pushed his leg back, kissed his inner thigh. Dan stared down between his legs, watched as he felt the finger enter him, pushed his own fingers into Phil’s hair. Phil pursed lips against the base of Dan’s cock and dragged those same lips up to the tip. He flicked his eyes up to Dan and smiled kindly, which was so jarring it was so hot, and engulfed Dan. Dan mewed and clawed at Phil’s scalp.

The fingers and the mouth went in tandem, rocking him gently, and Dan could do nothing but hold on. Kisses landed on his belly button, on his ribcage, on his collar- pleasure built and began to leak out of him, he could hear the wetness on Phil’s hand, and soon Phil was curling his fingers, in that come hither way; beckoning. He hovered above Dan, hot and solid, but only touching with his fingers now, and kissed him deeply – hard. Dan responded desperately, grasping hands beside his neck, but grabbing nothing but air, he was too weak. His skin shivered, little white hairs standing on end, and Phil kissed at the hot chill running wild on his chest. Maybe it was the week of waiting, or maybe it was the outpouring of love here. Phil grabbed Dan from under his leg and lifted both to rest over his shoulders, diving to withdraw his fingers with a small resistance and kiss up into it, pushing massaging hands under Dan’s ass, to where it ached.

Dan didn’t have a chance to restrain it, he came silently screaming, for once, bucking and convulsing, head elsewhere, the white ceiling blinding. He came down with multiple waves of after-shock and Phil milked it all. When his consciousness had returned, Dan bought Phil up by the collar with a strength he hadn’t anticipated having and kissed him square on the lips. Phil smiled and leapt his hands up to Dan’s face.

They lingered here, kissing, as their heartbeats slowed and the sweat dispersed, leaving them cold enough for the blanket again.

Phil had their foreheads together, Dan’s hand loosely dropped on Phil’s chest. Dan was thinking of what to say, all the things he’d planned to say, except none of this had at all gone to plan- when a thought occurred to him.

“You didn’t even-“

“I did.”

The statement, said without hesitance, without doubt, collided straight into Dan, like a physical hit on his chest. That Phil had cum without assistance, while pleasuring Dan, doing nothing, receiving nothing, only focusing on Dan- was just about the hottest thing Phil had ever, ever, done.

All plethora of emotion crossed Dan’s face; shock, confusion, awe. He began to shake his head and Phil smiled, ducking to kiss him. Dan hummed into it, as vocal as he normally was during sex, and Phil wound his hands around to Dan’s middle back, pulling him into him with multiple grabbing, greedy, motions.

The following morning, exactly a week since Phil’s birthday, Dan pinned Phil to the bed by his arms and took his cock in his hand before anything could stop him. They had sex all day like teenagers, except better. 

[mystery-moose]

FIC: Angus McDonald and the Flight of the Flying V (22/24)

[AO3 link]

They’ve come a long way, but even ten years after the world was saved, they’re still not quite where they should be. A whim, a missing painting, and a handful of near-death experiences help a flip wizard and his apprentice bridge the gap.

Taako does his best. Angus takes some risks. Introductions are made, bonds are tested, and lessons are learned — better late than never.

Interlude IV: Family

This is the worst I’ve ever felt, was the thought that kept running through Taako’s head. It was difficult to argue with. Sure, there were moments where he’d been physically miserable, and times he had been despondent enough to shut down completely. But those had felt different. However bad it had ever gotten, he’d always known, somehow, that it would pass. Whatever malaise had gripped him, whatever new fresh hell he’d fallen into, he’d pick himself up (eventually, when he was good and god damn ready) and march forward.

But now Angus was sick.

He didn’t know what it was; it seemed to come out of nowhere, but looking back, Taako could see the boy had been lethargic for days before he or Kravitz finally noticed. He’d skipped breakfast, barely eaten lunch, and got two bites into his dinner before he bent over at the waist and threw up between his shoes. Taako had panicked, because of course he had, and as a result he barely remembered what happened in the immediate aftermath. The last clear thought he had was, it’s happening again, and the next thing he knew he was sitting by Angus’ cot in their wagon, hugging his knees, watching the boy’s face bead with sweat as Krav pressed a cool washcloth to his forehead.

It couldn’t have been him. In his head, he knew that. But Taako’s head was swimming with all kinds of other things, so he couldn’t hear himself think. He wanted to leave, go outside, get some air (flee the scene of the crime) but he knew he shouldn’t, couldn’t (would never) so he stayed.

“Sorry, sir,” Angus mumbled, eyes blinking one at a time. “Didn’t want to worry you.”

“Shut up,” Taako said quietly. “That’s stupid. Never think that again.”

Angus swallowed audibly and groaned as Kravitz removed the washcloth.

“Just getting a fresh one,” he said. Calm. Assured. Kravitz had been so awkward around Angus for so long, and now all of a sudden he was chill as ice. Taako hated it. Hated it so much he kept his mouth shut, ground his teeth and glared at Kravitz when he wasn’t looking. He grabbed a different cloth and soaked it in the tub; when he laid it across Angus’ forehead, Kravitz smiled. Smiled! Taako didn’t think he could smile right now if his life depended on it.

“Finish your water, Agnes,” Taako said, pushing the glass on the tiny nightstand with his finger.

“Do I have to?” Angus asked.

“Need to keep your fluids up,” said Kravitz. “It’s important. And it’ll help you get better faster.”

With what seemed a prodigious effort, Angus hauled himself up on one elbow, took the half-empty glass in his hand, and drained it. He grimaced before collapsing back onto his pillow. Kravitz took the glass and set it aside.

“Okay, Angus,” he said. “Get some rest now, alright? We’ll be right here.”

“Yeah,” Taako murmured quietly. “Promise.”

Angus looked at them both through hazy, barely focused eyes (he doesn’t have his glasses on, that’s all it is) and nodded. He mumbled something that might have been a thank you, and then closed his eyes.

Taako spent the next two hours in that uncomfortable little chair, knees against his chest, watching the slow rise and fall of Angus'chest. After it became clear the boy was well and truly unconscious, Taako stood up abruptly and fled from the wagon.

Not your fault, not your fault, never was, never will be—

But so what?

Taako walked over to where the campfire had been, long since burned out, nothing but ashes now. It was a new moon that night, pitch black beyond the little alchemical lights hanging from their wagons. Taako skirted the edges of the darkness like it was a pit he was thinking of jumping into. He hugged his elbows and paced, ran hands through his hair, pressed a palm against his forehead.

So what if it’s not? So what?

“Taako?”

He spun, saw Kravitz stepping down the wooden stairs from the wagon. The sleeves on his shirt were still rolled up. He looked concerned.

“Are you alright?”

Taako scowled. He wanted to shout at him, wanted to tell him to fuck right off and leave him alone, wanted to walk off into the night and lose him in the dark and not come back until morning, if he came back at all.

Instead, he opened his mouth and said, “It’s my fault.”

The confusion on Kravitz’s face just pissed him off more, so Taako snarled and turned away, screwing his eyes shut, gripping his elbows with white knuckles. He was so preoccupied with keeping himself together he didn’t hear Krav step beside him.

“Taako, you didn’t…” He paused, chose his words carefully. “It wasn’t anything you did.”

“Shut up.”

Kravitz laid a hand on his shoulder and Taako shook it off, stepped away and into the dark. He walked towards the log by the campfire, the big piece of deadfall they’d used for a bench, and collapsed onto it. His chest felt tight and hot, like it was about to burst. Kravitz followed him, sat down beside him, but didn’t move to touch him again.

“The next town’s not two days away,” he said calmly. “There’ll be a healer there who can—”

“What if he doesn’t make it two days?!”

Taako’s voice sounded louder than he’d meant it to. He glared at Kravitz like it was his fault.

“Taako,” he said, furrowing his brow. “He’ll be alright.”

“How do you know?” he asked, accusing.

Now it was Kravitz’s turn to glare. “Because I could tell if it were otherwise.”

Taako stared at him as he processed that. The smile, the voice, the words he’d said — not ambivalence, but absolute, crystal-clear certainty. That knowledge grabbed Taako’s anger and uprooted it. He felt it race out of him in a heaving exhale that left him exhausted. He looked away and felt hot tears in his eyes.

“He’s still a boy,” Kravitz said. “Boys get sick sometimes. It’s what they do.”

Taako shut his eyes again and quickly wiped them with the back of his thumb. “If I hadn’t brought him along,” he said, letting that sentence hang unfinished.

“He’d still get sick from time to time,” Kravitz said. “You couldn’t have prevented that no matter how hard you tried.”

A hand ghosted its way up Taako’s spine, rested on the back of his neck. When Taako didn’t object, Kravitz stood and kneeled in front of him. Both his hands rested on Taako’s neck and cradled his head, bringing their foreheads together. Kravitz’s thumbs drew little circles below his ears, and Taako sighed.

“Whatever happened to no regrets?” Kravitz asked gently. “Hmm?”

Taako swallowed, and his next breath shuddered through him. Because he was right.

“What’s happened to me?” Taako asked, quietly, desperately. “I don’t… I don’t get this way. I don’t.”

“A family will do that to you.”

“Family.” Taako said the word like he’d never heard it before. “Like. Married-with-kids family?”

“Yes, dear,” he deadpanned. “This tends to be the definition.”

Taako suddenly felt very stupid — his latent hatred of vulnerability finally catching up with him — and he couldn’t stand to look Kravitz in the eye, so he pulled him into a hug and buried his face into the crook of his cold, cold neck.

“He used to be a person,” Taako murmured into his shoulder. “Just another person.”

“So did I,” Kravitz replied, as quietly. “So did you, too.”

“This isn’t me, Krav. I can’t do this.”

Kravitz chuckled, not unkindly. “You already have, dear, and you know it.”

And Taako wept, because he was right.

When they went back into the wagon, Taako was still miserable, except now he was also exhausted. But at least he could think straight. He sat back in the tiny chair, scooted it next to Angus’ bed, and rested his head on his forearms. Kravitz took the other chair, by the foot of the cot.

At some point, Taako dozed off. He didn’t know for how long. He woke up to someone poking him in the forehead. He swatted the hand away with a scowl and opened his eyes.

“Morning, sir,” Angus said, smiling weakly.

“Oh, hey, pumpkin,” Taako said gently, blinking hard and rubbing his eyes to make sure he was awake. “How ya feelin’?”

“A little better,” the boy said. “Throat still hurts, but my stomach settled down. Mr. Kravitz went to fix breakfast.”

Taako almost scoffed; Kravitz could barely boil water without step-by-step instructions. He sat up and felt his vertebrae creak as he stretched.

“You look awful, sir.”

He looked down, startled. Angus had put his glasses on and was grinning at him.

“Yeah, well, you’re not in great shape, either,” Taako said, ruffling the boy’s hair before letting his hand drift down to his forehead. Fever’s broken. That’s good, right? I think that’s supposed to be good. “We’ll get you to a healer soon, okay?”

“Okay,” Angus said with a nod. “Do I have to stay in bed while you drive the wagons?”

Taako cocked an eyebrow, ran his hand across the boy’s hairline before letting it drop. “That’s… the assumption, yeah.”

“But fresh air is supposed to be good for your health, right?”

“Well, I mean…” Taako looked away, struggled to come up with some good reason to keep him in bed — that’s where sick people needed to be, wasn’t it? “There’s, y'know, there’s differing schools of thought—”

“Just for a little bit,” Angus said. “It’s just… it’s really stuffy in here.”

Taako looked at him, at the uncertainty in his eyes, at the hope in the arch of his eyebrows, at the soft grimace he put on when he felt like he was being a bother.

“Sure, kid,” Taako said, patting him on the head again. “It’s okay by me.”

Angus blew out a breath and smiled, and Taako almost hated himself for how much joy it gave him. “Thank you, sir.”

“No problem.” Taako sighed and looked towards the wagon door. “I should go and check on Krav Maga, make sure he hasn’t set the other wagon on fire. You good for a minute?”

“Yeah, I’m good.”

Taako stood from his seat, stretched out another wave of stiffness from his back, and started to turn towards the door. Then he stopped, bent down, and through thick hair and sweat and a million things telling him not to, he pecked Angus on the top of the head.

“Be back in minute, bubeleh,” he said casually, turning away.

He didn’t look at Angus as he left, didn’t see his reaction at all. But he imagined the look on his face, the shock and surprise and joy and pride and the big l-word that Taako would never say, and his chest felt looser and lighter in a way he hadn’t expected.

That’s what a family does to you, he figured — changes you from the inside out, whether you want it to or not.

[artificialqueens]

Dina’s Fun Aunt Holiday Bonus Part 1 – Ellen Thwoorp

Summary – Katya has a proposition for Trixie, but it takes some upturned dinner plans, some Shakespearean quotes and some stupid puns before she can actually get around to it.

A/N: Surprise, more Dina’s Fun Aunt because I had more ideas and didn’t have the power to resist the temptation to write it. I’m going to try and update this roughly every week with my new AU series until it’s done. (Was originally going to post in one go but I’m pushing 13k and it ain’t even finished.)

“If it isn’t two of my favourite girls!” Katya cried as Trixie and Dina stepped out of the school. Svetlana rolled her eyes but smiled at the pair as they came towards them. Dina took Trixie’s hand as they walked down the steps at the front of the school. The teacher smiled, she was so thankful Dina’s jealousy phase hadn’t lasted long. It had been just over a month since their very public outing, and the girl somehow got over her jealousy within the space of about two weeks. Trixie suspected that either Svetlana or Katya had spoken to the girl as one day she came into class as bright as anything, said good morning and gave her a cupcake with a pink frosted t-rex on it. The thing that had made Trixie stop in her tracks that morning was the ‘good morning’, of all things. Dina hadn’t spoken to her for a full two weeks at that point.

“Are you going to watch the Disney film on tv tonight?” Dina asked, hopping down the steps and nearly causing Trixie to drop the two binders she had tucked in her arm.

“Ah, no I’m afraid not. Your Auntie Katya and I are going on a date.”

“Where?” The child asked as they stopped in front of the Russian sisters.

“We are going to the lands most prestigious eatery this side of the equator fair maiden, why doth thou ask so many questions?”

“Stop talking silly.” Dina giggled, letting go of Trixie to move her long hair out of her face.

“Shakespeare may be a bit advanced.” Trixie laughed.

“Exit pursued by a bear.” Katya cried, shaping her fingers into claws and lunging for Dina who squealed and ran to hide behind her mother.

“Now we can’t hang around here all day, someone has got karate class tonight.” Svetlana said with a clap of her hands. She suddenly turned to Katya making the other woman jump in surprise. “Have you asked Trixie yet?”

“No, I hadn’t gotten to it yet.” Katya mumbled, avoiding Trixie’s eye.

“Oh well. It’d be great if you could come.” Her sister added, giving the other woman a meaningful look. Katya just rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. “Do you guys need a lift? I can take you to the restaurant if you like."

"Thanks but I’ve got my car and I need Katya to help me out of my clothes.” Trixie said with a slightly awkward smile. “I MEAN OUT WITH MY CLOTHES. She’s helping me choose an outfit.” She amended at the look on Svetlana’s face. Katya was trying not to laugh, thin hand covering her mouth.

“Ok…well I’ll let you go. C'mon bean.” The older woman said slowly, turning to her daughter with a fond smile. “Nice to see you again, Trixie.” She added as they walked away, although Trixie couldn’t be sure she actually meant it. In fact she doubted Svetlana ever meant it, each time they met Trixie somehow managed to make a tit of herself.

“You want to me to help you out of your clothes anyway?” Katya asked once the pair were out of earshot, smirking at her girlfriend with sly eyes.

“We hardly have time for that. Why is talking to your sister always so awkward?” Trixie moaned, taking Katya’s hand with her own free hand. She adjusted the binders in her arm and congratulated herself in not looking around them before she made the affectionate gesture.

“It’s taking her time. She’s never actually approved of or really interacted with my girlfriends before.” Katya responded, lacing her fingers with Trixie’s as they walked toward the carpark. “It’s kinda new for all of us I guess.” She shrugged.

“Have your girlfriends met Dina before?" Trixie asked. It was a question that had played on her mind before. She wondered if she was just one of many women Dina had met and then refused to talk to for two weeks.

"Only one and that was because I bumped into her in the street. After we’d broken up, thought she was mine.” Katya mused, swinging their hands. Trixie wasn’t sure she ever realised she was even doing it. “As if I could be anyone’s mum.”

"I think you’d make a great mum.“ Trixie confessed as they got to her car. She let go a Katya to search in her bag for her keys.

"Oh. I was taking about my youthful looks and tight pussy but thank you.” The Russian clarified with a half shrug and a wink.

“Katya!” Trixie gasped, pushing her girlfriend with a scandalised look as she checked around them. She saw Mr Parker across the car park and waved. He waved back heading towards her with intent that suggested work was involved. She bit back as sigh as she put a hand on Katya’s back. “Run while you still can.” She whispered, causing Katya to look up at the sky in confusion.

“Are the aliens attacking?” She asked, her face serious as Trixie laughed as she finally found her keys.

“That’s the first thing you think when I say run?” The teacher asked incredulously.

“Not aliens, velociraptors then?”

“In the car park?” Trixie snorted as she watched Mr Parker stopped to let a car pass in front of him. God he even walked slowly, didn’t he know she had places to be! She was a busy woman. Or at least a woman who is hoping to get busy after, or maybe even before, a lovely meal.

“Hey! It can happen, velociraptors are commonly found in parks, I saw it on this documentary-"

"Jurassic Park.” They said in unison, Trixie nodding fondly as Katya cackled. Katya was so madly predictable, that or Trixie had spent way too much time with her.

“Seriously this will be boring, if you want to escape, get in the car.” She whispered seriously, holding the keys out to her girlfriend. No one should have to go through listening to Mr Parker unless it was literally what you were paid to do.

“Through thick and thin, my love.” Katya said with a soft smile, placing her hand at the small of Trixie’s back. The teacher bit back the grin as the man came to stand in front of her, paper in hand.

“Tracy, I just wanted to check the scheduling with you…” Trixie nodded, looking down at her watch. Worst comes to worst she was wearing a nice enough dress to wear her work clothes to dinner. As the man droned on the torture felt a touch more bearable as Katya stood beside her trying to look as though she understood what they were talking about.

…………………………………………..

“When I said wherever you wanted, this isn’t what I had in mind.” Trixie said as they walked across the McDonalds car park.  

“You said I’m sorry we missed our reservation because of Mr Boring Mc-I-wear-more-shades-of-grey-than-you-can-fit-in-an-erotic-novel teacher man. But don’t worry Kitty Cat we can go anywhere else in the universe you want to go for dinner, we could even go windsurfing with your dead dad if you want." Katya said, raising the pitch of her voice in what seemed to be an impression of Trixie.

"I didn’t say that.” Trixie rolled her eyes. “And I don’t sound like that.”

“You mouth didn’t say it but that’s what your eyes told me."

"You’re terrible.” Trixie sighed, unable to fight the fond smile on her face.

“I know, I’m on a government list. Go find us a table upstairs and I’ll order what do you want?” Katya said, patting Trixie’s arm as they headed into the fast food restaurant. Trixie rattled off her order, which consisted of the only vegetarian option. Honestly even the salads had meat in. She pushed money into Katya’s hand, giving her an insistent look when she began to argue.  

She found a table upstairs near the back of the restaurant, if you could even call it that, and sighed. She’d been looking forward to their dinner. Obviously it didn’t really matter where they went, she mostly just wanted to be with Katya, but the food had sounded good at Romero’s. Kim had told her about it and Trixie knew Katya would flip over the ravioli. She’d been looking forward to seeing the joy on Katya’s face. The teacher pulled out her phone so as not to have to look at any of the other patrons. Kids just out of school. People in suits who looked one spreadsheet away from death. Old people who must have been around for the invention of hair brushes but somehow seemingly never used them.

“Excuse me, I don’t know if anyone has ever told you this but you are very beautiful.” A manly voice said from across her. Momentarily her heart filled with dread as she expected to look up and see a forty something year old man with a shitty suit and a problematic hairline, who thought he’d try his luck. Instead she saw the grinning face of Katya.

“Oh my god. What was that?”

“I got you didn’t I? Didn’t know it was me, did you?” She giggled, putting the tray down on the table before pulling out her seat. Trixie laughed, putting her phone down beside her.

“No. You’re not secretly a man are you because that was scary real.” The teacher asked with exaggerated suspicious, eyeing the other woman cautiously.

“I’ll never tell, mother.” Katya said sweetly, hiding behind a napkin. Trixie snorted, nudging Katya’s legs with her foot underneath the table. She looked down at the food and rolled her eyes.

“Oh my god, did you get a happy meal?”

“Well yeah, it comes with a toy, Trixie!” Katya exclaimed as though that was explanation enough. She pulled one end from her straw wrapper before blowing hard into the straw.

“I’m dating an actual child.” Trixie sighed as the wrapper hit her in the cheek and got caught in her hair.

“Yup, pervert.” Katya grinned opening the box and pulling out the toy with a level of glee not quite befitting at thirty four year old woman.

“Oh. My. God.” Katya gasped as she showed the toy to Trixie. “I got you!” She insisted as she tore open the bag to reveal a small plastic Princess Peach.

“I should be her for Halloween. I’m normally Barbie.” Trixie mused, opening her veggie burger. God she was hungry, lunch seemed like years ago.

“Oh my god, you should be Princess Peach and I’ll be Mario!” Katya gasped, eyes bright as she grabbed Trixie’s arm.

“What and you just keep saving me all night and punching bricks?”

“That’s true love. The modern Romeo and Juliet.” Katya nodded, looking back down at the figurine happily. She was very quiet for a few moments before she suddenly spoke. “Hey, Trixie. Ask me how I’m doing.”

“How are you doing?” Trixie asked, trying not to be suspicious at the sudden request. Katya grinned widely and held up the Princess Peach toy.

“Peachy.” She said as seriously as she could. Trixie groaned, chuckling at the stupid joke as Katya began to wheeze. “Trixie, ask me how I would describe your butt.”

“I feel like I know where this is going. Is it peachy by any chance?” The teacher asked, eyebrows raised.

“You said it, not me.” Katya replied, holding her hands up in the air.

“God, I love you.”

“Urgh.” Katya grimaced before smiling and blowing her a kiss. Trixie smiled back, rubbing her foot against Katya’s calf as she drank.

“It’s like Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.” Katya giggled as she rolled her chicken nugget behind the toy. Grinning she took a bite of the food, looking very pleased.

“I’ve never seen it.”

“You’ve never seen it?!”

“As much as I love to see you, I don’t care to see your food.” Trixie mused as Katya looked slightly guilty. Swallowing her food she took a deep breath.

“Trixie.” She began seriously. “While the time we’ve had together has been great I’m afraid we are going to have to break up. I need someone who shares the same values… and the same DVD collection.”

"Oh my god, don’t do that to me Katya. I was starting to believe you.“ Trixie laughed in relief, putting a hand on her chest. She had managed to sound so serious. Imagine breaking up in a McDonalds at eight o’ clock on a Tuesday. She’d never live that down let alone the heartbreak. "I thought you finally realised you’re out of my league.”

“Sorry.” Katya apologised, looking a little guilty. She reached forward and took Trixie’s free hand in her own. “You think I’m out of your league?” She asked as she dipped her fries in sauce before filling her mouth.

“I’m pretty sure everyone is out of your league.” Trixie said softly, looking up from under her lashes at the other woman.

“You’re cute."

"Thank you.”

“I don’t think I’m out of your league at all by the way.” Katya added, pulling Trixie hand to her mouth to press a tender kiss to the back of her hand.

“No?”

“No. I mean who would have known the two sexiest, funniest, most charming, intelligent people in the world would fall in love?”

“Hah yeah, that’s them down the street there. What about us?” Trixie snorted, nodding her head to the window. Katya gaped in mock horror, dropping her hand.

“You wound me you sharp-tongued vagabond.” Katya said dramatically, putting a hand to her chest. “And yet you are definitely getting laid tonight for being such a duckie.“ She added with a smile, leaning forward to pink Trixie’s cheek. The other woman batted her hand away with a laugh.

“Pretty sure I was getting laid anyway, compliments or no.” Trixie grinned, leaning forwards so that people around them couldn’t hear her.

“Away, you three-inch fool!” Katya exclaimed.

“What’s with the Shakespeare today?” Trixie asked, shaking her head fondly as she went back to eating her food.

“I was listening to the radio yesterday and they were doing dramatizations for Shakey’s birthday or something.” Katya shrugged, taking a sip of her drink.

“Listening to the radio, showing your age a little there grandma.” Trixie mused, smirking at Katya’s offended look.

“Young people listen to the radio too, Trixie.” She insisted.

“Mmmhmm." Trixie hummed, dodging Katya as she tried to playfully smack her on the arm. The pair fell into giggles.

“Anyway I would have thought you’d like my Shakespearian flare today, its romantic.”  Katya said, waving a fry in front of her as though she was directing an orchestra of some kind.

“It’s not romantic if you only remember the insults and the bits with bears in, Katya.” Trixie snorted.

“I know other bits!” Katya insisted taking the other woman’s hand. “Trixie, Trixie, where for art thou…” She said, rolling her ‘r’s, hand resting on her chest as she spoke to Trixie’s hand. Trixie couldn’t contain the squeak of laughter as Katya suddenly pulled her hand towards her and covered it in sloppy kisses.

“I hate you.” Trixie laughed, wiping her lipstick covered hand with a napkin. Katya winked at her before sticking a whole nugget in her mouth. “And I’m guessing you’re wearing that dress because Shakespeare as well. I’m almost surprised you don’t own a ruff.”

“Completely unrelated.” Katya shrugged, waving her hand nonchalantly.

“Right.” Trixie nodded, not believing the other woman for a second. “Speaking of completely unrelated.” She began, causing Katya to look up from her food. "What was your sister talking about earlier?"

"Oh. Um.” Katya began, suddenly nervous, scrunching up her serviette in her hand. “It’s perfectly ok for you to say no, before I begin, I just want you to know we won’t take it personally. I won’t take it personally. I understand."

"Katya, what is it?”

“We’re going on holiday, Svetlana, Peter, Dina and I, we go away together every other year and um and Svetlana wanted me to ask you if… if maybe you wanted to come too?" Katya asked, eyes on the napkin in her hand as she began to twist one end of it nervously.

"You’re asking me to come on holiday with your family?" Trixie clarified, surprised by the invitation. She’d never been invited to go on holiday or anything with a girlfriend’s family before. She’d been away with Kim and her family before but never with a girlfriend.

"Sorry, sorry. I told her it was probably too much, I mean we haven’t been together that long really and we certainly haven’t been publicly. Just forget it.” Katya rushed out, still not looking at her as she sat back in her seat.

“When is it?” Trixie asked picking up her phone to check her calendar.

“What are you doing?" Katya asked, looking up in surprise.

"Checking if I’m free. I think I still have quite a few days off left if it runs a little in term time although I’d rather not do that.” Trixie said, closing a text from Pearl as it popped up. She’d answer it later.

“Wait, you want to come?" Katya asked, her eyes hopeful. Trixie looked up from her phone and smiled.

"Sure. Getting to spend time with you and your family would be nice." Trixie said, heart bubbling pleasantly as she saw Katya finally let her excitement show.

"Oh ok, we’re going Easter week, um we’re going to this resort place in Greece.”

“Is that expensive?" Trixie asked, doing a mental check of her current savings and bank account balance.

"Svetlana has offered to pay for your flight." Katya said.

"What? She can’t do that, I’ve got some stuff saved up.” Trixie replied quickly, she certainly didn’t know Katya sister well enough to be indebted to her like that. Plus she still wasn’t sure Svetlana liked her. Taking her money would only make that worse surely.

“She’ll honestly be more insulted if you paid for it yourself than not going." Katya informed her frankly.

"Oh."

"Yeah she’s got a bit of a complex. I also think it’s a bit of an apology for the way she was when we started out.” Katya shrugged.

“Oh. Ok. Well, I’m free that week.” Trixie said, putting her phone back down to look at Katya.

“So you’re coming?” The Russian asked hopefully, excitement swimming in her eyes. Trixie grinned and nodded.

“Yeah.”

……………….

“It was very nice of you to offer to drive us all to the airport.” Svetlana said as she settled herself into the back of the car with her husband.

“Of course. Thank you so much for inviting me.” Trixie replied from the driver’s seat, yawning as she looked at the time. Too early, definitely.

“It’ll be nice for us all to spend some time together.” Peter added as Trixie took a long sip of her strong coffee in her pink travel cup that Katya had decorated. One night Katya had just picked it up and asked if she could make it prettier. She then continued to cover it in doodles of hearts, flowers and Barbies floating alongside aliens and raccoons.

“You got everything, sweet?” Trixie asked as Katya slid into the seat next to her.

“My charm and my dashing good looks.” Katya sighed, rolling her shoulders back as she yawned. “It’s too early.”

“You look so beautiful.” Trixie smiled, making Katya bounce happily before thanking her. Some of the Russian’s hair fell from its messy and very lazy updo as she laid her head back on the headrest.

“Right. Let’s get this show on the road. Everyone ready?”

“Miss Mattel, I need a wee.”

“Remember, you don’t need to call me Miss Mattel while we’re not in school. Just call me Trixie.”

“You went while we were in the house.” Katya sighed looking exhausted. Trixie put a hand over Katya’s, rubbing her thumb over her knuckles soothingly.

“I need it again.” Dina whined.

“That’s no problem. Good on you for saying before we left. We’ll be right back.” Trixie said, turning to Katya. “You wanna give me your key, I’ll take her now.” Katya smiled appreciatively.

“You sure Trixie?” Svetlana asked, reaching for the buckle to her seatbelt.

“Sure, you guys sit down for five minutes.” She said with a wave of her hand, opening her door and getting out of the car. She walked around the car and opened the door for Dina. They headed into the house together, chatting away like old friends.

“Trixie is sweet.” Svetlana observed as she watched the pair enter the house.

“She has a heart of gold and more patience than I’ve even known anyone have.” Katya mumbled her eyes closed as she sat back in the seat. God it had been a long morning, and there was still plenty of it left.

“Does she tell you you’re beautiful a lot?”

“Yeah.” Katya smiled, turning slightly in her seat to look at her sister. “And yet every time she says it, it’s like the first time she said it.” She confessed, blushing a little. Svetlana grinned wolfishly.

“Now then Hun, I’ve seen that look before.” Peter began, looking up from his phone to give Svetlana a stern look over his glasses. “You can’t spend the holiday prying into their love life.”

“I just want to know that they’re happy.” She said defensively, folding her arms across her chest as Trixie and Dina stepped out of the house.

“Mhm.” Peter hummed disbelievingly, patting his wife’s leg. He gave her the kind of look that came as a result of many years of marriage.

“We are, I don’t remember being this happy before.” Katya sighed as Dina got back in the car and buckled her seatbelt.

“Hey.” Trixie said as she slid into the driver seat.

“Before we go can I have a small kiss?” Katya asked tiredly, smirking at the way Trixie blushed. The teacher looked behind her briefly, everyone else in the car suddenly seem to be very focused on something in their hand or looking out of the window.

Trixie leant forward and pressed a chaste kiss to Katya’s lips, staying perhaps a little longer than was necessary. Katya held a knuckle beneath the teachers chin as she kissed her back. She pulled away not long after, looking thoroughly too please with herself as she relaxed into the passenger seat of the car. Trixie sat back, rolling her eyes as she felt blush touch her cheeks.

“If you guys want.” Trixie began, coughing awkwardly as she broke the silence of the car. “You can go back to sleep for a bit. I’ll keep the music off.”

“That’s ok.” Svetlana answered as Trixie checked her mirror and began down the quiet road. “I won’t be sleeping and these three could sleep through world war three."

"If you’re all sure. I hope country is ok?” She laughed, pressing the play button on her Bluetooth car radio. Her question fell on three pairs of deaf ears. Svetlana chuckled. They were so predictable.

……………….

She’d been driving almost two hours when they hit the traffic. Just managed to catch rush hour, dammit. She slumped back in her seat with one hand on the wheel. She drummed her fingers as the song changed to Island in the Stream.

“Do you remember the time you sung this to me?” A voice said beside her, making Trixie jump. She had thought Katya was still asleep.

“Yeah. After we went to that terrible restaurant that had that weird waiter.” Trixie chuckled, edging the car forward a few inches before the cars in front of her stopped again.

“Benjamin was boss.” Katya gasped in mock outrage.

“You only think that because he likes the movie Contact.” Trixie pointed out, shooting Katya quick knowing look before returning her eyes to the road.

“He has taste.”

“Shush.”

“Let’s do it again.” Katya said suddenly.

“What?”

“She’s an amazing singer.” The Russian added, turning in her seat slightly to inform her sister and brother in law.

“I’m not that good, I just sing in key unlike some people.” Trixie interjected, as Peter and Svetlana chuckled.

“C'mon. It’s our song.” Katya pleaded, trying to sway her.

“Is it? I thought you said Hot for Teacher by Van Halen was our song.”

“We have multiple songs.” Katya shrugged. “Sing for me my angel of music.”

“Are we starting on the Dolly part then?” Trixie checked as the chorus finished. Katya nodded.

“I can’t live without you if the love was gone. Everything is nothing if you got no one.” Trixie sang, laughing when Katya began to clap. “And you just walk in the night. Slowly losing sight of the real thing.”

“But that won’t happen to us and we got no doubt. Too deep in love and we got no way out.” They sang together. Svetlana grabbed her phone, quickly turning on the camera. Peter rolled his eyes as she began to record them.

This was going to be an interesting holiday.