#long post sorryyy

[magicomens]

Ooo the plot thickens

First >> Prev >> Next

[chrliekclly]

——————

it’s been 6 years exactly nd i apologize for everything about this

[tw: implied csa]

[binkyfishh]

she twisted her ankle! vash is here to help!

[jitterbugbear]

a few of the gel plate prints i made some time ago

[superm4ks]

Omg this verstappie rewatch is literally gonna be the whole season lmao

Part 1 2016-2018 > Part 2 2019-2022

In 2013, after becoming the World and European KZ class Champion, European OF class Champion, Continental KF class champion, and 3rd place laureate in the World KF class, 15 year old Max Verstappen had turned that years karting scene into a 'one man show' according to Vroomkart International. The title of the piece wasted no time posing what was, admittedly, a very bold question:

Gentlemen, a short view into the 2023 season

Baku, 2023. Ik what ur thinking. 19 wins and ur gonna start wid fucking Baku? And yes 🙂I will, and so shud u 🫵🏽Max lost Baku. The pole, the sprint and the race. Lingered about 3 secs behind checo after the SC, never closed the gap. And guess what, Baku was actually one of the most important races of this season, Maxs own words. Because that inconsistent pace? Those choppy lap times, killing his tires? Max was learning how to setup his car. Rb19 was clearly rb18s big brother, a real sunday beast, faster, more reliable, but a lil sensitive, demanded some hands on attention from his boy. So Max turned Baku into their fp4. U can c it on his onboard, hear him asking for different settings, toggling wid the balance. Those of us who know Max, we kinda suspected what he was up to. But it seemed others didnt. And whatvr max was about to do to these people in Miami bro, it wud be the type of reckoning u read about in the bible.

Miami, 2023. When max qualified p9 cheers echoed across both Americas. After the Baku loss, the slow start to the season, there was hope. Max Verstappen was about to lose the championship lead. People bought into the fairytale and they were loud about it too. They taunted him, booed him and his mechanics in parc ferme. And then Max was p2 by lap 15. Cut thru the field like butter and the whole stint he kept setting purples. Fastest lap after fastest lap. By lap 40 his hards were outpacing fresh mediums on a track u cud fry an egg on. Red bulls strategy for Max required the impossible and that's exactly what Max delivered. Before Miami, Checo was a title contender. After Miami, he was barely a competitor. Max took the 'tire whisperers' ambitions and grinded them into dust in 45 laps or less. It was the race that marked the beginning of the most dominant individual season in Formula 1 history but at its core, in classic Verstappen style, it was a lesson. A very simple one.

Shot by Brook Ward.

Monaco, 2023

- Qualifying Yk who doesn’t give a FUCK about lessons tho, Monaco. Monaco wont be taught by no man. But it’s 2023. This classic immovable object about to meet the most unstoppable force in modern sport history. Max's very first pole in Monaco, and fittingly so, it came out of an all-timer session. One of those saturdays that make u understand why the tax dodging diva of f1 is going absolutely nowhere. Pole switched between Ocon, Yuki, Sharl and Alonso right up until Max did his thing. 2 mins to the checkered flag, it looked like Nando had it locked. 2 untouchable purples, textbook. It wud have been a beautiful moment, a deserved reward for an old dawg who’d kept at it and had a capable car again. Unfortunately for Nando, though, Sennas illegitimate child clocked in that Saturday. He had a bit of a history wid third sectors that once fucked him. But it's 2023, so this wud be the one that made him. Max put 3 tenths on Alonso's head in one of the shortest, most technical corners of the entire calendar. F1's 'sunday' driver by excellence, the one stop pacemaker, the metronome, the endurance machine, proved that he was all that and also, in fact, the type of elite qualifier who can write his signature on the walls of Monte Carlo.

- Race Monaco is all about Saturday obvi but imo this years race is also worth watching because its actually kind of a banger wid mixed conditions, insane strategies and because this is a verstappie rewatch, u get to c Max at his best: in a chaotic packed field under the rain.

Canada, 2023. Speaking of rain masters. Senna's legend has been clinging to Max from the very first time he traumatized wet cat Rosberg in Brazil in 2016 but it was this year, in Canada, wid Nando and Lewis by his side, the guys who were also there, who saw it happen too, that Max finally matched Senna's win tally. 41. It was a perfect weekend, a testament to the talent that allowed a 26 year old to overtake Ayrton Senna in the record book, and it began, as if in tribute, wid a soaking wet qualifying. Max's pole lap was one second faster than the rest of the grid. One full second. If ur a Nando or a Lewis fan, I wud definitely give it sunday a watch as well because old gays were definitely out there. Also we got this. What yall know about this .

Shot from Nurphoto.

Lemme tell u something rn: Ur looking at 12 world championships, 189 wins, and a 14 year old gap from youngest to oldest. You're looking at statistically, the most successful driver of all time, the guy whose racecraft still seen by many as the finest this sport has ever seen, and a kid who's been sitting between them since he was 17 years old. The same kid who, a few racers later, broke records that existed long before the other two were even born. Yk, Lewis said it better than I ever cud, 'this is quite an iconic top 3'.

Austria, 2023. Why are u a Verstappen fan? U ever been asked that question. Ik i have. 😐 Lots of possible answers. To me Austria has all of them. In Canada, Checo barely made the finish line while Max pushed rbr to their 100th team victory and ((unofficially)) began his chase of the Vettel record. Mind u the mf wont admit that’s what he’s doing, but it is. Him, GP, the whole team. They want it. But we'll get to that. Max is a hunter, and his boy car is the best hound of his career so far. Together, they’d caught the scent. Races like Australia, Spain, Monaco, Canada, they showed it was possible. His management was getting Schumacher shouts, his qualifying was getting Senna's. Clarks proficiency. 2023 can be understood as the result of Max's life long pursuit of perfection, the crowning point of his hard work, the realization of all his potential, that prodigal nature that had been so obvious for so long, finally, entering its prime wid a car that can make history. And yet. AND YET. max has something that all those other legendary mfs lack. Something that is deeply, deeply Max’s. Free practice 1 in Austria and that talented, beautiful creature of God was ready to send it all to hell to make a POINT. Austria was a sprint this year, so already you've pissed him off. During fp1, Lewis impeded Max like once.

((And listen

Lewis saw that boy enter the paddock and immediately called security and along wid seb vettel and raikkonen launched a class action lawsuit against him on the grounds of a) fuck b) them kids. Then 6 years later Lewis and that now grown ass man spent a whole legendary season trying to kill each other. U c how this relationship may have some residue of . lets say. conflict.))

So Lewis impeded Max in fp1 and Max's raytheon hamilton-calibrated sensors activated and he did nothing less but the exact same thing in sprint qualifying. Blocked old mans flying lap. Lewis is limping thru this weekend, mind u, like it’s almost sad. It’s kinda elderly abuse. THEN, the actual sprint. Again, Austria is red bull's home turf. packed wid red bull fans. The car is a rocket, they're on a streak, lots of good photo ops for the team. It started raining. Even better. Lights out, and Checo took the lead first and in the process like . squeezed Max a lil bit. Pushed him on the grass. U can guess what happened next. 😐😐😐😐To answer that first question and to quote somebody who knows him, Max is Max. No matter where, how, against who. Wid a rocketship, wid a hole in his car, winning, losing, fighting for the lead against Lewis Hamilton, fighting for sixth against baby schumi, refusing to comply wid team orders against sainz, scolding danny ric about discipline, waiting 7 months to deliver his justice in brazil, calling russell a dickhead in Baku, whether in front of 300 000 haters in Silverstone of half a million fans in Spielberg, he'll do what he thinks is right. Thats the kind of mf that wins constructors all by himself. 575 points, on his own. Over 1000 laps lead. Max Verstappen has not succeeded in f1 despite his character, but because of it. Because when Checo squeezed him at the start of a stupid fucking sprint that wont make a dent in his records or his lead, Max collected his car and lunged thru the inside line like the title wud be decided in the next turn. He was willing to send himself, checo, and a goddamn haas to hell to remain at the front. And that’s why I'm a fan.

Zandvoort, 2023. 9 consecutive wins. A race that u feel in ur stomach because you know what it means. The sheer size of the accomplishment. That word ringing in everybodys ears since Miami. Inevitable. inevitable. Up until it happened, and then obvi Monza wid the perfect 10, nobody really wanted to believe it. seb's 9 was one of those things held sacred and hallowed by the sport. Like Schumachers points in a season, Ascaris win percentage, Clarks laps lead, and Hamiltons consecutive podiums. Sacred things. And in 2023, the nonbeliever broke them all. Grasped and squeezed wid his very cynical hands. They’re his now. No one else’s. What he did, no one else can do. Max is always outstanding in Zandvoort tbh, thats his track, his fans, his weather. But this years quali was particularly emblematic of the gap to the rest of the grid , and his teammate especially. 1.7s faster than checo. The race was just as impressive. Rain hit early on, complete chaos, and while everybody scrambled to choose the right tires, GP was in Max’s ear, calm as ever, 'it’s up to you'. It really was. It always was.

Zandvoort, 2023. > Monza, 2023.

Japan, 2023. Red Bulls factory crowning weekend. Coming out a disaster Singapore, yet another statement win. Singapore had showed what it took to slow down Verstappen in 2023: not just the wrong setup, but the wrong strategy too. As we'll c in Texas, like we've seen in 2016, 2019, 2020, a machine off the pace alone wont stop Max from winning races. In Suzuka, rocky was back into his operational window, and Max proved exactly who was it that singlehandedly delivered the constructors championship. One of those classic Max weekends. 20 drivers on track but 2 different leagues and he's on his own. Wid a 177 point lead over his teammate, yet another record broken, biggest point gap between 1st and 2nd. ((In the end, the margin was 290)). Max names Suzuka as his most satisfying pole lap of the season. Bro put half a second on the grid in one go.

COTA, 2023. just something in the Americas ((me)) that unlocks the extra prodigal gene in this mf. Talent of the century? Put his ass in North America we can stretch that shit to the millennium idc idc . Miami, Texas, Brazil, Mexico, and now Vegas, to me these are cornerstones of Verstappen excellence. Max holds the record for most wins in a single geographical location over one season. ((Of course he does)) 10 consecutive wins in NA, across state lines, country borders, wid different conditions, tracks, circuits, tires, formats, setups. This years’ Austin GAG? Apparently they didn’t set the tarmac right. track was a bumpy mess. Max struggled from the start wid braking issues and tire wear, but he kept his head cool because he knew he had the basics. There was once a time before the rb19 , when all he had was a cap and 1 year of open wheel experience, and his 18 year old self put on a clinic against a 30 year old world champion on how to defend on old faulty rubber. That’s exactly what Max did in Cota. Bro was able to make up for aerodynamic loss wid nothing but pedal and wheel work. Do not talk to him during braking. Do not fucking talk to him during braking. That’s all Max asked. 50th win. Offically 3rd OAT, behind Vettel, Hamilton and Schumacher. ((He’s now alone in 3rd OAT, wid 53 wins.)). He’s 26. After Merc and Ferrari were proclaimed ‘illegal’ what truly shocked me wasn’t that they tried to cheat, but that they wud try to pull that shit against this Verstappen, in this car, in 2023. They lowered their floors for smoother suspensions to fight Adrian Neweys Frankenstein monster but the real machine was sitting right behind the wheel. And he won. Actually, he mollywhooped those bitches. Not the floor, not the wings, just a damn good racing driver. Good luck next time.

Qatar gp, 2023. Dutch man allergic to winning world championships in a normal way, millions left emotionally berated every year begging for the sweet release of ted kravitzs voice. No I’m jk but actually tell me why this fool cud not have waited for the race to clinch it. Bro had the title confirmed by a sprint where he finished SECOND. As a verstappie, imma tell u to watch this because it’s like. get out of my face rn I love you so much I’m so happy for u also that helmet is so pretty. In Qatar, Max became 1 of 5 drivers who won back to back to back world championships. After the year 2000, 1 of 3. Along wid the biggest championship margin in the most successful season of all time, well. 1 of 1.

Las Vegas, 2023. ummm ok ik this may SHOCK u but he wasn’t a fan. Max spent the whole season bitching about Vegas and breaking records and threatening retirement like that’s literally a fair description of events. Just very verstappen and migraine inducing type of shit. But yes, Vegas. Vegas held no old school appeal whatsoever. And he was right about some things. He never berated the circuit itself, the quality of the racing, just the show around it. U shud build for the track, not around it. It’s not that difficult to understand, or even that unpopular. But Max forgot about one important thing that wud prolly hurt his cause. He has never landed on US soil and not served. The plot armor wud simply never let my baddie have her AHA!!!!moment in Nevada. So I want u to open that cringe FUCKING compilation Sunday stream of the Vegas gp and c what happens when a sleep deprived verstappen and his so called ‘dominant’ ‘untouchable’ ‘unbeatable’ ‘rocket ship’ are released on a frozen track wid barely any data because one of the potholes burst and cut practices into 10 mins. Bitch what happens is good fucking f1 😭😭😭 Some real formula uno cabron 😭😭 Max retakes the lead at the start, overcooks his frozen tires, pushes sharl off, gets a penalty, serves his penalty, comes back wid gods wrath emanating from his fugly white helmet, obliterates the gap to first and Russell along wid it ((🫡)) passes both cars in front in one slick veteran move and sinks his teeth into p1 for the remaining 13 laps. And wins. Maybe not his most characteristic win, but def the funniest one. Stupid ass even sang Elvis. That’s an f1 driver bitch. He can’t trick me.

Here we are. Abu Dhabi. Breathe out. Red Bull won constructors in Japan, Max won the drivers championship in Qatar. It all started wid a lesson, remember? Max was a good teacher. He spent 8 months making sure we learned. Did you?

By Abu Dhabi, 2023, Max had officially set 20 new records, including the record for most records broken in a season by a single driver. 5 of those achievements had already been set in 2022, just upgraded in 2023: most wins in a season, most podiums in a season, most consecutive wins from pole, most hat tricks in a season, and most consecutive top two finishes in history. 3 of his achievements, however, kept him on the hunt until the very last lap: 3rd most wins of all time, over a 1000 laps lead, and the highest percentage of wins in the sports history. Max got them all. He’s now, statistically, the sole protagonist of the most dominant season in f1, and f1’s 3rd most successful driver, behind Schumacher and Hamilton. Max won 19 out of 22 races. 10 of those wins were consecutive. Right now, he’s already on another streak. 3 more wins and he matches his own record. 4 and he resets the book forever. What Max did wid the rb19 needs to be watched again and again and again, because it’ll be years. YEARS .Until we begin to learn how to truly appreciate it. This is just my humble attempt.

In Abu Dhabi, the job was done wid a series of incredible defensive moves that completely shut the door on sharl. No flashy overtakes, no heroics on the inside line. Just strong classic defending. Sharls attack was dealt wid, nullified, the gap was built, set and managed, and Max saw the fireworks 17 seconds earlier than the rest. In 2023, Max was untouchable by all but one. The car he called ‘rocky’. The only car, to this day, according to the man himself, that ever saw him smile before he crossed the finish line. That ever made him happy before it made him a winner.

You tell me.

[sweetie-peaches]

“It’s called: Freefall”

ID: the character Tubbo with his head on his arms on a table wearing a white button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up and a blue bandana on his arm. There’s a see through bottle infront of him, he’s covered slightly in a blue blanket

End ID)

“/Fuck this let gravity win like/you could leave it all behind/even the devil needs time alone sometimes/“

Or, Tubbo showed up in bads stream today drunk as hell, and I thought “what if I turned that into angsty fanart” and I did.

Qtubbo isn’t coping quite so well with being leader..

[cometshift]

Please i gotta know HOW DO YOU COLOR YOUR MODELS PLEASE I CANT SPEND A DAY TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW AGAIN /nf

no worries anon :} i literally just use materials / material slots. i avoid texturing because 1. that's closer to phighting's style (there's very very few things that are actually textured in phighting) and also because 2. i can't texture for the life of me. thankfully for both of us, materials are actually super simple to use!

first, make sure to be on material preview mode in the viewport shading, you do this by selecting it in the top right

so, let's say we want to color subspace's horns here (i removed their color for the sake of this post. don't worry, they'll get it back)

what you want to do is select an object (in this case, his horns here) and go to its material properties

and here you can add a new material

now all these things will show up. (if they don't, you'll have to click the 'use nodes' button under the surface tab.) though you probably won't be needing nodes unless you want something more specific. in this case though, we want to pay attention to where it says 'base color'

if you click on the white box next to base color, this little colorwheel should show up. you can choose any color here, or input a hex code in the hex tab if you want a specific color

once you choose a color here, it should show up on the current object you have selected

now i just do the same for his bottom horns. any material that you've created before will save, so here i just selected the exact same material as the horns on the top of his head

and there you go :} one thing to mention. because both of these objects are under the same material, if you change the color then it should change for both of them at the same time!

here you can see i only have the bottom horns selected, but because they're under the same material as the top horns, it's changed colors too

there's also a way for an object to have more than one material. to do this you have to select an object and go into edit mode

(i had to reset his pose here. goodbye to his gay ass pose)

let's say that, for example, we want only the tips at the top to be a different color. so we do this by selecting the faces at the top

and we click on 'add new material slot', then 'new'

because we already have the faces we want a different color selected, we just click 'assign'

now you can just change the base color as we did before, and only the assigned faces will change color while the rest stays the same

^ he dyed his horns. so stylish

and there you go :} sorry for the long tutorial, but i hope this helps! there's a lot more you can do with materials and it can go a lot more in-depth, but generally for this sort of style the very basic features will suffice (at least for me. i don't like to do texturing. it hurts me)

[cowardlychimera]

AAAAAGH I'M NOT DEAD I'M NOT DEAD!!!! SO SORRY FOR DISAPPEARING I'VE BEEN FACING THE HORRORS </3 </3 GIVE ME LIKE A WEEK I'LL BE BACK SOONNN

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

Surprise appearance by me!

How are you? Hope you're doing well. ^w^

Hello drag!! I'm doing okay :'Dc

I've been very very busy as of late honestly xd it sucks but I haven't been updating myself on social media either HHH the stress was getting to me and my studies :')

I've been going out with family and friends a lot more though so that's better! I've been a little too computer obsessed these past few years so the fact it's broken rn is helping me see more people and build a social life lmao xD

Don't get me wrong, absolutely love posting art here, but it's so nice not to worry about being online when exams keep drowning me HHH

hopefully you guys don't mind the long absence cause I might be gone for a while randomly at times and I really can't help it 😔♥️♥️♥️

[gramarye]

speaking of my list of ygo by treatment of its female characters so far. its so insanely long well. sorry.

sevens : really good marvelous awesome. women are treated as equals in my honest onion and everyone rocks. i <3 yugioh sevens. i love you romin i love you rayne (WEIRDO!) i love you princess g i love you atachi mimi i love you asana i love you tiger etcetcetc I LOVE YOU YUGIOH SEVENS

gx: it's not Great with what it does with asuka and rei but it's somehow still less offensive than all of the other ygos below it in this list. asuka gets to be pretty cool and again, even tho there's several episodes about her being courted at least they let her come out on top whenever guys are trying to get to her and they never do weird sexual shit with her in a way that is as obvious as in the other yugiohs. YES THE BAR IS THAT LOW I THINK! SAD! and she gets as much as spotlight as say, chazz, kenzan, sho, or the likes. if you disagree btw you were not watching yugioh gx and should try to pay attention to women again. asuka is a really good fleshed character by gx standards. rei is also pretty fun, i love her, she has her little moments and she's Not limited to her love shtick, she has really fun beef and duel with chazz for example and has a neat role in s3 and all that. ALL THINGS CONSIDERED: ITS PRETTY NICE! they did an ok job! its very hobbyani and shounen but its not offensive w/ the women!

5d's: like.. it started off really good then they just kind of forget about aki. i will never let them live down the "benchwarmer" thing and guess what. THEY WON'T LET ME EITHER BECAUSE THEY MADE MERCH OF HER WITH THAT TITLE LIKE A YEAR AGO OR SO !!!! sherry is pretty cool though and oh i love carly. carly is good i just wish they didn't kinda ... roll back her progress with jack , it's like they had to make him hate her again for the haha funnies and because he couldn't be nice now in the 2nd half. idk. ruka is fine i just think its hilarious she has a kuriboh with huge ass girl eyelashes i will attach it to the bottom of this post. made sure we know this is a #GIRL kuriboh

DM: its like . okay. anzu doesn't do much i am sorry. i love her it's just that they let her have a few duels and that is it. the #og cheerleader. I LIKE HER! i just think they should let her do more. she has really good scenes outside dueling though and is very integral to the friend group and everything though so :) yayyyy anzu. mai is really good but remember when they. okay this is anime specific BUT I AM TALKING ABOUT THE ANIME SO !!! but remember when they kept her in a coma in like marik's special hell world for literally like 50 episodes. like. it was so fucking dire fifty whole episodes. Bad. AND THEN THEY MADE HER GET POSSESSED LITERALLY IN THE NEXT ARC? VILE. rebecca etc are all fine they werent there for super long but i like them. all in all it was OK wish there was more fleshing out. 5d's still did it better and had more memorable women more in the spotlight i fear. but 4 is not a bad ranking here DM is like alright not too offensive

zexal: ok its like... i don't think tori not dueling in itself is a Crime but it's sad they don't let her when she expresses in the anime wanting to duel . why not let her !!!! plus it'd tie really nicely with rio who i think rocks, but i do NOT understand why they had to have rio duel tetsuo who her only tie to was him having a crush on her when she was besties with kotori and it wouldve been a nice way to tie up their friendship and tori's desire to duel..anyway. CATHY AND ANNA ARE NICE its just that i feel like. anna rocks sooo hard but her whole character is wrapped up in her thing with yuma. they should've come up with another plot for her after i think taht would've been nice but it's not that big of a deal it's still pretty cool. train girl forever. also yuma's sister is cool <3 i think this is kind of a tie with DM actually . also they make at least one weird sexualizing skirt length joke with kotori so um. HOP OFF MY 13 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER AND STOP BEING WEIRD

vrains: AUTHORS NOTE I HAVENT FINISHED VRAINS YET but ive seen a good amount and my vrains oomfies concur with these ratings. blue angel gets into a coma within 10 episodes and is really good at getting her ass beat unfortunately. ghost gal is pretty cool but shes also out there getting her ass beat i think she only wins once like its so fucking dire out here they will NOT let these women win like they just take one L after the other. and theres really no other women there. um. its just kind of an L overall they just don't let the 2 cool women do anything. like gx only really had asuka and rei but at least they let them be cool and fun i DON'T SEE THAT HERE... love them both though. also shoutout to soulburner's npc girlfriend i think shes funny and im glad she exists

arc-v: literally im sorry i havent finished arc-v either but ALL MY ARC-V OOMFIES WHO ADORE THE SHOW CONCUR. IT'S SO BAD. ruri and rin are like barely characters. serena is cool yuzu is cool until she isn't and THEY HAVE HER LOSE TO AN ADULT MAN USING BDSM MONSTERS AND IMPLY BEING SEXUALLY GRATIFIED BY IT? ITS REALLY BAD. THAT EPISODE ALONE WAS SO BAD IT TOOK IT DOWN 50000 SPOTS IN THE LIST AND I HEARD IT ONLY GETS WORSE. LIKE ACTUALLY CRIMINALLY BAD. MADE ME GENUINELY UPSET. also asuka is there and shes kind of a girlboss until they kill her like really badly and in a humiliating manner. like. Okay. they build it up soo much just to let you down so terribly with the girls.

undecided: go rush its still ongoing but i have watched all 115 episodes so far or whatever and it was like based and epic and poggers in season 1 but um the treatment of the girlies has been going downhill. i have a lot of opinions. i dont know what to say about it. it just declined a lot for the most part. yuamu girlboss though they're kind of making some progress again. i need to give it a rewatch when it's done airing to sort my feelings on it.

addendum btw here is the #girl kuriboh ruka has in 5d's. kind of a slay

[smileymoth]

Tubbo gets banned from vaulting again and Tango is explaining to him why it might be, and allegedly the mods said it was Tubbo's diamond pickaxe because of the mending on it. "H was in with a diamond pick with a mending, as was I and you, when we crashed" he says... Tubbo has REFUSED all these days to get a proper vault pick so he's losing his fucking mind not believing that the mods would tell that to Tango bc he KNOWS Tango wants him to get proper gear. Tango keeps telling him he's not lying!!!!! he's not lying!!!

"I think uh... [mod?]said they're gona have to yeet your diamond pick" "you're a liar... you're a liar..." "like you actually can't take it in the vault," "you're a liar... you're a liar..." "he said you can't take it in the vault" "you're a liar they haven't said it anywhere" while looking at server chats "i'm not joking!" "you're a liar you're a big liar! ah just out of spite cause you've done this i'm going in a vault right now" "NO DON'T DO IT DON'T DO IT" tango is actively panicking now, "ADMIT YOU'RE LYING OR I'LL DO IT! ADMIT IT, I'M ABOUT TO GO IN," -awkward AND panicked giggle noises from Tango- "ADMIT THAT YOU'RE LYING OR I'LL CRASH THIS SERVER AGAIN"

take a shot every time Tubbo says "you're lying" and you'll be in a coma, he also proceeds to say "you're lying through your teeth," and Tango follows it up with "I don't have teeth I'm 42"

i don't think he's 42.

[youvegotmailpdf]

finished listening to ttpd and its like i could make one whole song out of the parts i liked. the first minute of i hate it here. clara bow excluding the bridge. touch me while your bros play grand theft auto is funny😭 it grew on me. umm also the prophecy also excluding the bridge kind of. nvm the prophecy is good i had a good cry to it lol. florida!!! shouldve been longer .. the manuscript is soo good and sweet in THEORYY but execution feels clunky idk.. i couldnt 100% like any of the songs . everything just blurs into blah blah blah for me.. aaron dessner what happened 😭 i feel like she really wanted to do the lana stream of consciousness and she had the ideas (self-mythologizing + imploding love life duh) but with the ten billion senseless verbose metaphors and the bland instrumentals she shot herself in the foot. why is no one saying this. pitchfork come thru 🤞🏼

[oneroomjestershow]

Are you active on social media or just check it sometimes?

i am everywhere to see and nowhere to be found

[fondcrimes]

hii u posted about poetry recently and mentioned the difficulty in finding a good poem, and specifically that you think the issue is pedagogical—i’d be so curious to hear more of your thoughts about where current(?) pedagogy might be insufficient and/or just your thoughts about contemporary poetry more broadly! no worries if you’d prefer not to though! 🫶

helloooo I would love to elaborate abt my post! thanks for asking (apologies if it gets super long though) I'm gonna break my response down into separate parts so I can better explain my perspective

I will preface this by saying I know I'm usually being haterish when I criticize the writing world in general. I understand I won't like everyone's writing and that doesn't take away from the value of a piece, but my somewhat uncharitable POV stems from my ongoing observation of writing trends and marketability (which is why we have colloquialisms like ig poetry, tumblr poetry, booktok etc). writing trends are not inherently shallow or reductive, however, we as both creators and consumers can observe how trying to sell writing produces specific "brands" of writers. the categorization of contemporary writing, to some extent, will always about marketability and branding, and then we know that digestible and palatable writing sells. it sells a whole lot! and that's not inherently bad either because that's entertainment, sometimes you just wanna read some bullshit. additionally, I don't see the value of discouraging people from reading when it's something I'm very passionate about and more people need to be reading anyway. I could talk about this in great length too but my main beef is with the over-saturation of "palatable" writing, writing that is marketed in a specific way that caters to the consumer rather than engaging an audience and provoking our curiosity and wonder. my main beef is that it creates a type of reader/consumer who is stagnant and not intellectually engaged. I think we're all too familiar with the sort of people who are more concerned with the marketable aesthetics of reading/intellectualism rather than actually using their brain *cough* booktok *cough* but the scope is much wider. I would say that neoliberal politics necessitate this mindset/level of literacy in order to function but that's such a loaded statement kgfkgjf anyway moving on~

in order to understand why people like shitty poetry, I have to understand why people like shitty writing and also why shitty writing exists in such great amounts. I kept going back to elementary school, where we made first contact with writing and reading interpretatively. underpaid overworked teachers already have it hard enough, I don't blame them for not being able to spark the joy of reading in every child they encounter. literacy is unbelievably complex and capitalism is like blood in the water. it’s also bad enough that kids are actively learning how to put themselves into like social boxes while their developing skills are placed into boxes of their own like gifted, advanced, remedial, etc. all that shit gets internalized too. when I refer to the "intellectual", I am speaking from the belief that each person has the potential to embody intellect, rather than adhere to a deluded elitist view of gatekeeping intelligence. I want readers to engage their intellectual selves because we're living in a cultural moment where it seems like nobody is using their brains anymore, nobody is thinking critically, and that's bc it's easy to shut your brain off. it dawned on me that if a child could be dissuaded from reading entirely due to bad experiences/treatment, a child could also be dissuaded from building analytical or evaluative skills of what they're reading. there are so many college students who can read but want to use chatgpt to write their essays... so many (voting-aged) adults who can read but consistently make bad-faith interpretations of tweets, articles, books, etc. I won't get into the marxism of it all but it goes back to the capitalist state, we need to be literate enough to work and participate in bureaucracy and get married and raise more workers but that's it, it's okay if our literacy stops there and I would argue politicians actually prefer that. but I'm not saying the alternative isn't difficult though... because it's meant to be!

ok so the pedagogy of it all. poetry is notorious for being kind of inaccessible to the common person for a variety of reasons but I'll focus on the fact that we're conditioned to prioritize convenience or become "lazy" readers. I didn't really know how pervasive this notion was until I was listening to ada limón talk about how people will straight up say they don't like poetry. she was talking about how really has more to do with how it's taught rather than what it is. I also reconsidered my own relationship with poetry as a form. I have the typical writer predisposition: my favorite book growing up was the giving tree, I wrote sad gay poems in high school and obviously I was a teenaged fangirl during the peak tumblr web weaving era. but I didn't think about poetry too deeply until a few years ago (during quarantine-ish) I decided I wanted to start writing seriously again after a series of depressive episodes and found my way back to contemporary poetry. I should say I'm veryyy biased and prefer studying modern poetry but I know a few things about that old greek shit too lol. I read poems I instantly really loved, but some poems even by the same poets fell flat or I straight up disliked, but I didn't know why I had those opinions. so I kind of became really obsessed with studying my favorite poems on my own, going line by line and figuring out the writing techniques and measuring their effectiveness. (I read a lotttt of writing criticism too)

now that I'm thinking about it, it was very adhd of me to obsessively read and reread short-form writing bc sometimes I simply don't have the attention span for a 20k-word creative nonfiction piece unfortunately lolll.... this was noticeably much more fun, esp compared to reading poetry in school elementary/middle/high school (even though I had enjoyed those classes too). as a teenager of the subversive aesthetic age, I still carried the notion that most poetry was about obfuscating meaning, or like purposefully being vague out of pretentiousness and exclusion. like I get why somebody would find poetry annoying, there's plenty of annoying poetry out there even in the literary world. all of this is to say that reciting poems in school or trying to teach poetry to students in absolutes (like this poem means this, this poem means that) is not conducive to comprehending the form/genre. you can’t achieve poetic understanding or connection to a poem through objectivity or removing yourself and your emotions. a poem is not just static, it’s meant to interact quite intimately with a reader. ada limón describes how transformative it can be leave a poem and come back to it. sometimes, the intimacy has more to do with the state of receptiveness than the text itself. poems are constantly concerned with emotional/somatic information whether you’re reading or writing them. I always explain it to myself in relationship terms, which is why it might feel impossible to build that relationship with something that seems doubly foreign

this doesn’t really stop at elementary school students. as you get older and read more poetry, you start to catch on and see that poets within a movement are effectively doing similar things, and I fear a good amount of poets are doing the same BORING or PREDICTABLE thing. (I will be nice and not name names)

it wasn't until I read a lot of poems that I noticed my favorite poems did the exact opposite.

this is one of my favorite poems everrrrr it made me write poetry bc I just wanted to do everything he did. it has also drastically shaped and informed my taste. so I will try to briefly explain how it has influenced my writing:

Let me begin this time knowing the drumming in my dreams is me inheriting the earth, is morning lighting up the rivers.

there have been weeks in my life where this line "inheriting the earth" played in my head over and over again like a mantra. "inherit" is such a loaded word, culturally and politically. I think I had been enamored by the sheer power of it, esp as a black person who has spent the majority of my life feeling unworthy of existing:

a brown child on a beach at dawn straining to see their future.

I had to sit with that feeling and characterize its meaning. for me, "inheriting the earth" immediately looked like a stampede of horses fearlessly galloping across the plains:

Let me run at break-neck speeds toward sceneries of doubt.

I could say a lot more about this poem, but moving on~

some valuable lessons I learned from being inspired by poetry: kill my pride and obliterate my quest for originality. at this point, I've embraced being a copycat:

because in my noble solitude, I have inherited nothing.

Our heads turned alongside the window, chasing a breakneck road.

I read jackson's poem up and down, left to right, tried to solve it like a rubik's cube. I wanted to turn my love for this poem into data points I could use in my own writing, but I kept hitting a wall. I couldn't shake the feeling I was stalling something inevitable, circling the truth embedded in my writing like an eagle stalking its prey. I considered the strain of the futureless brown child:

objects of my brutal childhood fascination

an instinctive deserter at the finale of my girlhood

one day I stumbled upon this article, the pieces suddenly started to come together:

as a society, we do entirely too much about youth and maintaining youth, so much to the point where the cultural obsession is perverse and the child is neglected. I only say this to offer an alternative, wherein we consider the childhood self not as a means to regain lost "purity" and powerlessness, but to take our power back. I love this article so much; I think it perfectly captures why writers are constantly fighting themselves and their words. it's evident one's learned self-consciousness and uncertainty cause someone to over-explain and impede on the poem. this makes it a matter of emotional fidelity and trust, rather than technical skill or knowledge. if poetry is inaccessible, I think it's only because we have become inaccessible to ourselves. this is what I mean when I say a good poem is "distilled", it has more to do with the clarity of the feeling you're trying to evoke or convey. it requires self-knowledge and making space for yourself to maintain emotional fidelity if that's what you want (ofc you can also evoke vagueness or uncertainty through the clarity of the form). I wondered, how can a creative know what they're doing if they don't know themselves? soon I realized at its core, the writer struggling with words was an issue of trust, on some mary oliver wild geese shit. there is a great deal of trust involved when you let yourself wonder. and sorry it's hard for me not to get all writer-brained and idealistic about this subject so please bear with me when I say I have good news, we can always find the way back to ourselves.

I think poetry should be about trusting the self and others, trust that they won't shatter the fragility of you in their closed hand. good poetry is deep intimacy and touchy-feely shit. learning how to write hurts because you’re also learning how to unlearn. it's extremely hard to teach that in a society that is more concerned with making sure you learn how to become wholly alienated from yourself (I've written extensively about how this damages the creative spirit, I'll save you the rant). in the midst of my poetry renaissance, I developed a schema around poetry in my attempts to write poems that were intimate and personal and powerful. I wanted to read stunning poetry, so I approached every poem like its intent was to pierce my heart. ofc that doesn't have to be your approach, but as someone who somewhat struggled with subtext and implicit messaging as a child, I am super into patterns that help me reach meaning. but I could only develop taste or preference through knowing myself and listening to my creative impulses, letting art and words alter my heart and my mind. it's about all that mushy gushy woo woo therapy shit. it had to be about me regifting myself a sort of agency. the resting state of a poet is precarious and sometimes contradictory. I believe in trust but I still feel the urge to over-explain myself or my thoughts for manyyy reasons. sometimes I don't even fight that urge, but the point remains. in order to teach and understand poetry, you have to know yourself (your intentions, your haunts, your beliefs, etc). in order to trust the reader, we have to trust they know themselves, or at least are willing to learn how to do it.

Reader, I should have married you sooner.

[lanternlightss]

in a way old mond isn't dead. they are living in in their ideals and decsendents. sure its a cold and lonely thing to have, but its also a comfort and something to be cherished. to be reduced down to nothing not even your own name just your actions- and yet all that matters after all that dehumaniziation and myth making is the fact that thing that survied for thousands of years and maybe beyond is their love. Love for each other and the love for seeing a free sky. Love to hone their skills and fight impossible odds- perhaps being the first humans in teyvat to slay a god. old mond isn't dead, even if Venti grieves it, for they are right there besides him drinkinging his drinks and enjoying his stories. They live and laugh alongside him, for when you spend so much time with another person they become a part of you

NO YEAHHH. YEAH. EXACTLY THIS

i wonder how often venti looks at the people of mond today and sees each of his friends in every person. glancing this way and pausing. there you are. i miss you. i hope…. you’re doing okay.

he can sit in the tavern and feel as though he’s back with the red haired warrior. it’s not the same, nothing will be, but. he can piss him off just the same and tease and joke and it’s Better, for a moment.

he can sit in the office with jean and swing his legs as he flits around, saying anything that comes to mind while she works, patting at her shoulders when the workload is too much, trying to get her attention away and giggling when she notices, and the gunnhildrs are wonderful. (also him and barbara. him and barbara. their friendship is so 🥺🥺 hyv can we see more of venti singing songs of old and barbara clapping and asking about them. can we. can we see a fond, distant look on him. Hyv.)

he can sit with the traveler on the hand’s of the statue and be reminded too much of himself, and his bard. of how they, and paimon, go back and forth, with the palms underneath him throwing him a further too much into that nostalgia—remember that? do you remember any conversations we had like that?

(and he can look at kaeya, at rosaria, at—hell, those who look in the eyes of the heavens and say no, this is not how it will go, i refuse to let it continue like this. and he’s reminded of a mortal with eyes as cold as ice but a heart infinitely fond and sweet and he feels his heart squeeze. amos. amos, the dear that you were, the better you should’ve have.)

and he can look at the weapons left behind and hold them close and think that the warmth that surrounds him then isn’t just from his body itself warming the metals. and he can look around and see the future that they wished for, how it’s everything and more, how lovely they would’ve been in the lighting of the sunrise.

anyways yeah that wisp and their beloveds are loved through and through despite it all they have much room in their heart

[spacesymbol]

hmm okay its been a while since i last tumblred so. long textpost with updates on how my life has been okay?

uhh lets see. i finished my eating disorder treatment program. it was kind of bittersweet since i technically wasnt supposed to finish the program that early, but i think i still learned things and got something out of it. i was in a partial hospitalization program and typically youre supposed to do an intensive outpatient program after you finish the partial hospitalization program but i was not able to do that because of time constraints and plans that were made for this summer before anyone knew about my eating disorder.

basically immediately after that i started a week of college tours with my dad. which was... interesting to say the least. we saw six colleges in four days (which should be a torture method i think) and 5 of them were in massachusetts so we spent liiike three days in massachusetts basically. we also saw my cousins aunt and uncle which was fun because i havent seen most of them in almost 3 years. one of the colleges was literally in the appalachian mountains which was certainly an adventure to get to. anyways heres some pictures yaaay

after that week of hell (also known as rural massachusetts) my biological sister finally returned home from the war (over a month of sleepaway camp) and my dad my sister and i went to the beach in new jersey for another week. nothing super out of the ordinary happened we lost some escape rooms and had varying amounts of fun. oh we did watch the meteor shower on the beach though that was really cool. more pictures yaaay

thats honestly kind of it... i got home from new jersey yesterday and this week is kind of chilling at home and appointments and such but next week is the beach again except in delaware. so that will be fun perhaps.

in terms of the future and posts on this account.... things will probably still be slow/semi inactive for a while. september 3rd is my first day of senior year and i basically have to start doing college application stuff immediately when school starts. so....! yeah expect more inactivity and infrequent posts. sorry! okay thats all <3