#long post due to the explanations but feel free to skip!

[cornus27florida]

I have 2 versions of tier list, but I want to tell the reasons I choose to the second one instead where I could editing the row title - the nope is kinda too big when I honestly simply just could saying they're my NOTP (non-one true pairing, just not shipping them) - and there's tier specifically for 'complex' relationship - which unexpectedly not putting WhitPelnia IMO but instead Blaine and Maria related ships lmao

The First (using phone aka Mobile)

The Second (PC):

-> BTW anyone could changes the text of the row, and iirc could add photos too but I just forgot how to do so

I'll explain the reasons of why they put on those 5 rows;

OTP: Gwen/Frederick (classic main troupe and main ship, the only ship that has in-series name 'gwenderick' although one could call 'freddolyn' as well, green-cuties, even the one with rocky start but has the nicest romance development hence why need to be on my OTP list), Jack/Leelathae (the pioneer of hot guy/non-mainstream beauty pairing, and if only Lilyth could lives longer I could see how good she is as a mother :""), Prez (Calpernia)/Whitney (don't blame me to ships them even thou yes complicated history and shouldn't happen right now - but the current redeemed Whitney and Prez together is my OTP), Orson/Monika (how I love a nerd couple bonding over a high fantasy story together, they have roads ahead to be truly healthly ship for sure but not stopping me ship them rn), Nell/Jollie (I literally making headcannon of their wedding, WO-ed by Frederick and the cake made by Gwen lol. Adorable demisexual lesbian ship that comes out unexpected but welcomed), Syrah/Saffron (before the reveal that Syrah has 'hots' to Saffron in the past, their chaotic dynamic is so obvious lol - LambCat sneakily makes lot of their interaction)

They're cuties together!!!: Lorena/Lance (is so cutie espc the first ever kiss in the CPC at the cheek, is saddening how the ship becomes after the gala but I hope at the very least they could staying close friend), George/his sommelier (simply not my OTP tier but I am really glad that tthey're happy and already planning their wedding!), Jamie ships (both with sweets and Leopold) are cuties (-just I am not sure is should taking as seriously on OTP tier or not, it ends as bromance is oki as well), Thermidora/Benedict (not on OTP because lack of interaction as it mostly flashback.. and Thermidora has a bit swing to 'hot summer lobsters' lol)

Kinda ship.. but (so) complicated: emphatizes the complicated to the three following characters - Beckett, Maria, Blaine - as Blaine too damaged rn as result of getting abused - Maria too swept up with the fantasy of romance to makes her priorities not right - Beckett although indeed a honest and sweet guy, but need to works up to appreciate other people better (the fatal flaw for example is not heeds Frederick's warning, also if he becomes someone boyfriend rn he'll be too overprotective) = hence any ships involving these 3 characters are complicated lmao even thou I ship. Also Lorena and Suzanna is complicated as a ship, born from oblivious/a bit narcistic hate that involved loving a same guy

Plantonically as Friends :D : it's completely unintentional that all 'ships' that I like them to be platonic as friends are same gender characters, but if Gwen cares more to Leopold as a friend then it could put in there + Lance/Lorena sometime fell into this category as Lance sometimes regarding Lorena as one of his buddy instead fiancee. The platonic ships: Aurelia/Renee, Saffron/Whitney, Prez/Syrah, Isolde/Leelathae, Abbi/Gwen + and if I could add ships then : Lance/Suzanna, Aurelia/Gwen, Frederick/Whitney, Gwen/Prez, Frederick/Prez, Abbi/Syrah/Monika, Curtis/Whitney, Whitney/Monika, Lance/Lorena/Suzanna

NOTP: that stands for Non-One True Pairing-I simply not shipping them but the feelings i had are varies from neutral to hate it - Suzanna/Blaine's fan club vice prez is neutral but I am afraid of the toxicity 'the ship' births, no hate and more of neutral to Gwen/Leopold but TBH I am used to be afraid it becomes canon but LambCat twists to make Leopold the unexpected wingman for Gwen/Frederick by giving solid advices to both character astonishing me, also all ships related to Leland is instant hate lmao~the only good thing from with Isolde is the birth of Plaid Princes, and with Jackie is a nice plot twist of reveal of his evil plan for the CPC story

cpc ships tier list

lmk if there's some i forgot to add!! disclaimer that i dont ship everything on here i literally just added leland/isolde out of obligation

[cotharach]

#COTHARACH: an affiliated flayn rp blog, loved and cherished by mik (20, they/them, gmt +8). a little fish swimming through the tides of a new world. rules and portrayal notes may be found under the cut!

RULES

ON AFFILIATION: this blog is affiliated with the officers academy. as such, personal blogs and rp blogs not affiliated with toa will be softblocked or blocked.

ON SHIPPING: i won't prioritize it but i am open to shipping with chemistry and ooc familiarity. my other caveats are that i am NOT open to shipping with non-students or non-minors and that i would like for things to be plotted out.

ON FORMATTING: i use small text with icons in my writing. if you have any issues with readability or would like me to change my format, please let me know! as for my personal preference: i would prefer it if my partners could use small text in their replies so i can read it more easily <3

ON OOC CONTACT: as tumblr's IMs have been acting up recently (for me at least) i prefer discord dms. my username is emblian! i am part of toa's discord server so you may also ping me there. i will let you all know now that, while i have grown more comfortable speaking with others ooc, i am still prone to bouts of anxiety and may pull back at any given moment. please don't take this personally! i may just need some space and time to get myself together.

ON REPLIES: my schedule has gotten considerably less free since i'm starting my semester so expect me to take anywhere from a week to a month to reply. i'll do my best to avoid having my partners wait for too long, of course, but i just want to be clear just in case you think i might be ghosting you or forgetting our thread. though that's not out of the question—i'm also a pretty forgetful person, so feel free to ping me if you feel that may be the case!

ON TRIGGER WARNINGS: i will use general trigger warnings for things such as gore, extreme violence, suicide, and other topics that i deem sensitive enough to warrant it. i will be using "tw // (word)" as a tag. if you have any triggers you'd like me to tag, please feel free to let me know through a dm. i also tag spoilers under "spoilers" but... for a series this old, i don't know what else there is to spoil JDFNLKDSJFG

ON OTHER FIRE EMBLEM GAMES: i am most familiar with three houses, thracia, heroes, and awakening but have a general grasp on most of the other games. it can only take me so far, though. for games/characters i'm not too familiar with, i hope you don't mind if i ask questions!

PORTRAYAL NOTES ( NOT SPOILER FREE) (IT'S BEEN FIVE YEARS)

it has been 3 years since flayn was last here, so i understand that it may be confusing to have her suddenly drop in with all of the progress she's made. the explanation i have (detailed more in this post) is that she has been on a holy mission around fodlan this whole time.

my interpretation is based mainly on her in academy phase, once you've recruited her. so you can assume she has already been kidnapped and rescued and all that jazz.

three hopes revealed to us that flayn is prone to overexertion due to her actions in the war. this was something missing from my old interpretation that i'll be integrating into things i see fit.

people who know seteth may also be familiar with flayn; students of the blue lion house should also be familiar with her (and she will be similarly familiar with them) so you're free to skip the pleasantries and go straight to action. for ease of interaction, i assume that our muses have been introduced to one another in mission threads or settings that are official school business (i.e. an assignment), but do let me know if you prefer otherwise.

flayn is a nabatean, and while fellow dragonkin (or even particularly nosy humanfolk) may sense or suspect something up with her identity, it's a fact that won't be explicitly known by people who aren't seteth or rhea. so even if you and i know who she really is, your muse won't. having her reveal this to other people is not out of the question, but will take a long time and lots of trust.

similarly, her identity as seteth's daughter should be secret to everyone except for her, seteth, rhea, and other nabateans. so your muse wouldn't know the true nature of her familial relationship with seteth unless she says so (but this is something i feel she has less reason to reveal, as it implicates seteth too)

[huntunderironskies]

A Call to Action

Hi all.

I wish I had better news to give. I thought long and hard about whether or not I should share this because I will be functionally doxxing myself when I do. But I've had several days to sleep on it and think about what to do. I've come to the conclusion that this is more important than me. This will be a long post but I urge you to read all of it. I'm afraid I have to be thorough here given the situation.

I think everyone who has been following me for more than a week knows how much I love religious studies as a field. It is my single greatest passion in life.

Unfortunately my school, UNC Greensboro, is trying to eliminate our department under claims of it being "not financially justifiable," among others (including anthropology and all Korean language classes.) These claims are highly spurious. Debunking this in full will take some time but I'll try to cover as much ground as I can in the relatively short space I am given and provide some sources. If anyone needs further elaboration, I'll report to the best of my abilities.

This is all to lead into the fact that I would like to provide some opportunities for people to help us out over here, which I will cover at the end. The shortest possible version is: please signal boost this. I do urge you to read it in full, though.

With the first introduction out of the way...

A Second But Very Brief Introduction to Religious Studies and a Justification of Its Presence in Academia (Given the Natural Bent of this Site is Sometimes Towards Antitheism)

Feel free to skip this if you have any familiarity with religious studies as a discipline, I'm putting it here because I find that it's often confounded with theology and every time I talk about it someone asks me if I'm going to be a priest (no.)

To be clear, religious studies is not theology. It does not purport the existence of any higher spiritual powers or presences. It is strictly the study of religion and spirituality as a force in human culture. This falls under both negative and positive effects, and covers everything from historical impact to individual psychology to macrosociological effects of religion to the simple understanding and study of mythology and folklore.

While internalized cultural norms are of course an issue that must be overcome by any scholar, for a religious studies scholar the Catholic Worker, the Sikh ragi, and the long-dead Sumerian ašipu should all have their beliefs and inner lives treated with the exact same sort of gravity and understanding, no matter how far their own beliefs might be from our own. It is, in my subjective opinion, the most humanizing of all the humanities because we are forced to operate on a deeply personal, vulnerable level.

I wish I didn't have to explain why these sorts of skills are important, especially given the current climate of intolerance that has been growing across the world and the growth of anti-intellectualism. I recognize that I might have to but I don't want to linger on that given everything else I have to cover in this post. Go ahead and ask as I do love talking about my field but I might take some time to answer.

A Brief Summary of Events Beforehand

My school has hired a firm known as rpk Group (lack of capitalization true to actual title) to restructure school funding financially with a focus on eliminating programs deemed to not earn enough for the school. Here is a brief explanation from the source itself. I apologize if the school website's CSS is still broken and it's difficult to read due to the social media icons being about thirty times the size they should be. Apparently they couldn't find the funding to pay a web designer instead of an expensive financing firm.

Those of you who have kept up with news in American academia may recognize this as the same group that forced cuts at West Virginia University. Please keep that in mind as we go forward.

Here are the high points:

Religious studies attained a passing grade under the rubric set out by the school. There have been active attempts to hide the scoring system from anyone but faculty. The spreadsheet in which the data was published has been password protected (source, which also contains several other refutations to the chancellor's talking points.)

For those who wish to keep score, anthropology did as well and our anthropology program is known for being quite good. This is without going into the other benefits the anthropology program provides the school with, which include such things as a community garden.

There were lower scoring programs that were kept. In other words, the decision-making process has been entirely inscrutable.

This is supported by the fact that the administration has been giving out incorrect numbers regarding program attendance to both news outlets and students, with some programs proposed to be cut having their student enrollment off by several factors.

Religious studies had over five times as many students as was originally reported. The Chinese language minor was reported to have zero students when there were thirty-six. To operate with this level of error from alleged professionals beggars belief and undermines any faith I would've had in this process.

The administration has claimed that they used the correct numbers in their rubrics. As they will not publish further data to myself nor the public, I have no evidence this is actually true.

They were going to cut Korean language as a minor. We don't have a Korean language minor. We do have a track of Korean language and I am given to understand as of this semester, culture courses. Which are operated solely by one professor and are consistently full or close to capacity due to popularity. There is no evidence they are losing the school money and I have several testimonials that the Korean culture-related programs have drawn students to UNCG as it is a unique niche the school gives not just over other UNC schools but over other colleges and universities.

Faculty and students were given information about what programs would be cut at precisely the same time, through an email sent schoolwide. Many students and faculty were in class at the time this was sent and had to proceed as if they weren't about to have their programs eliminated.

The administration alleges that current students will be able to finish their degrees. I have little faith this is the case for reasons that will take a while to get into but, to summarize as briefly as possible, completion of a degree here requires certain high-level classes that may be difficult to obtain with faculty cuts.

The chancellor alleges that Jewish Studies and Islamic Studies will not be affected by the elimination of religious studies, despite the fact that they are hosted under the department and Islamic Studies uses the same funding. As such, I believe that the highly technical and academic category used to refer to this sort of thing is "a blatant lie."

The administration has tried to quietly edit out any errors in original reporting. I am pleased to report that, as many of us intensely online people know, the Wayback Machine exists. Here is the original statistically incorrect press release that was given, which they have tried to bury.

While they have held forums, these have largely been ceremonial gestures rather than serious attempts at communication. At the one I went to, all non-administration speakers were given only two minutes to speak while the chancellor and dean were given as much time as possible to respond. Their responses to concerns were often dismissive and rarely addressed the necessary issues. I believe any person present will back me up on this, though I am not currently in possession of a voice recording.

I must operate within the evidence I am given. The best-faith interpretation of their actions is that the metrics they were using to determine what cuts should be made are incorrect and must be re-done before going through with any sort of program cuts, and that the administration's collaboration process with the group they employed is poor to nonexistent given the scattershot information provided. There is very, very clearly a communications breakdown somewhere along the line that raises this entire procedure into question.

I think it goes without saying it's all downhill from there. The level of arbitrariness with regards to cuts, lack of professionalism, and total lack of transparency would lead a reasonable person to believe there are heavy political motivations involved here and not simple brute facts. You are welcome to draw your own conclusions anywhere along this spectrum, of course. I encourage you to be skeptical.

Lastly, if I can't convince you that it's worth stopping this process to save religious studies, think about the anthropology department. Think about the languages that are getting cut. Think about physics or mathematics. A large-scale public university without a physics program is quite frankly unreal and the fact it's primarily humanities being targeted runs parallel with some sinister trends within American education. This process should, at the very least, be halted for time being.

What You (the Reader) Can Do

Firstly, be aware that we have until February 1st before decisions are finalized. I apologize for the short time limit. Myself and other members of the community were taken completely by surprise as well, and once again as I mentioned above it has caused some level of cynicism around the motivations of the administration.

With that out of the way...make noise about this. The school administration is making all efforts to keep this quiet. I can say the good news is that according to other people on the ground, they are beginning to lose control of their narrative that they are making difficult financial decisions to keep the school financially solvent.

Believe it or not, the farther removed you are, the better. If this hits a national scale then the school may be finally forced to acknowledge they are rapidly causing the otherwise prestigious UNC system, typically considered to be one of the best public university systems in the US, to be a national laughingstock and that they will lose money as their reputation declines in a way that they would not have if they'd simply carried out this process in a more reasonable way.

You can sign our petitions here and here. Easy enough, takes about three minutes, self-explanatory.

Finally, reach out to an academic or any passionate learner in a specialized field today. A lot of us feel understandably threatened and demoralized. Again, this is not just about me or even about my school. This is about trends within the American education system. Explaining the hows and whys in full detail is not within the scope of this post, but I think a reasonable person can conclude after looking at the current evidence that there is a dismantling of American schools in favor of a corporatized existence. For those of us who love knowledge and learning, this is incredibly sinister. Knowledge should not have a price tag put on it.

A Final Word

I and several other people have Chancellor Gilliam on record saying that he has dedicated his life to working at the collegiate level and towards students. While he and the administration have tried to ensure that their statements outside of highly controlled environments are not easily accessible, I should be able to provide a clip if needed given that this statement was livestreamed and North Carolina is a one-party-consent state in regards to recordings.

They have consistently characterized this process as having to make hard decisions to keep the university afloat. The chancellor is currently the highest-paid employee within UNCG itself and the fourth highest-paid member of administration within the UNC system as a whole (source.) Please be aware this does not include other benefits, which in 2022 put his salary above $500,000 (source.) As others have, I must ask why these "difficult decisions" within the school have not included a salary cut for himself if he is so dedicated to improving the lives of students.

Thank you for your time and consideration. If you've gotten this far, you've already listened more than anyone outside of the academic departments have and that means a lot to me in and of itself.

[bastardsphere]

same anon, got your answer post on my fyp a bit ago, wrote a long explanation and tumblr ate my ask so Im having to rewrite this shit

Basically, for what I was suggesting even the base ego works consistently minus like Don's (that's a 12 + 14, which means that you're kinda risking it) and from there they're all in the 14-29 range (29 is from Sinclair hitting heads fyi) and as long as you can have someone clashing her whenever the hag tries to duel? you're good

By duel I mean whenever she tries to hit the attack "Magnificent Spring Breeze" because that thing is at minimum a 16 and at max a 20 AND it's AoE, which is why I suggested using an ego there to make sure that thing doesn't get to hit... which does make the fight easier to manage, cuz another important thing is to focus on clashing/killing the plants due to the blooming stacks

The reason you DO NOT want the blooming stacks is because at i think 5 of them, your sinner will become "fully bloomed" which is like staggered but worse since you either give up on their sanity (you lose 30 + get a debuff) or you spend resources to free them (which is a struggle) and for your information, she can apply blooming stacks before the background shifts, aka phase 2

Do keep in mind that you won't see MSP until later on so before that, the attack you need to keep an eye on is "Flowering Buds" which if you mess up the clash gives you 3 blooming stacks and in general summons 2 more flowers (or if there are 4 alive, it levels up 1 of them. You do NOT want this, they do more blooming stacks) so kinda good to not let that hit either if you can avoid it

If you somehow get stuck in a situation where all your sinners are caught, ignore them and focus on clashing the hag since you'll get 2 1v1s in a row and if you win them, she'll get staggered and free all your sinners. Trust me it's easier than trying to individually rescue them

Can't really tell what sort of strategy or energy your team has going, but do keep in mind she's weak to slash, pride (dark blue) and gluttony (green) but resists pierce, gloom (light blue) and lust (orange) so avoid those, it is still possible to win using those but it will be slower and harder in general (from personal experience)

For the leveling, I personally recommend turning enkaphalin into modules.... just in general turning it into modules whenever you don't feel like playing so you can auto or skip (btw the luxcavation unlocked after 4-48 is pretty ok, let me get an unit from 1 to 26 with just 2 runs thanks to the tickets)

So best of luck queen, kill that fucking hag with a hammer ✨

i won a few days ago !! and i beat The Dong Gang yesterday aswell. god what a fight.

it gave us peak cutscene tho

[xxbabydragonxx]

"Little Wanderer"

Ch. 1: The Beginning

~~~~~~☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆~~~~~~~

Summary:V finds out about your "Little" secret and takes care of you.

Very self-indulgent. I've been playing Devil May Cry 5 again and decided to write this! 1000% Sfw! Diapers are mentioned but it's just a comfort item!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was originally posted on my ao3 page! Feel free to check my bio for a link to it!

You’ve been traveling with the crew for a long time, even becoming an official member. You trusted these guys with your life, but even so you kept your little secret to yourself. Deep down you knew it wasn’t bad, it was actually healthy. I mean everyone needed a way to cope with the whole killing demons, saving the world thing and being a little was yours. You even had a few supplies that you were fortunate to get from an abandoned store during your time in Redgrave. You hid this little bag in your room back at the DMC headquarters. It was a tad difficult to be little knowing that demons could pop out at any time.

Today on the other hand was perfect for a little day. Dante and Nero were out on a mission, Nico was back in Redgrave with Kyrie, and V was out to a bookshop which means he would be there for hours. Everything was right and you proceeded to get your little bag out from your back closet. You excitedly pulled out your little things; a black paci, a dragon plushie appropriately named Dragon, coloring books, crayons, a baby bottle with dragons on it, some of your favorite little movies, and one other thing that you’ve been wanting to try for a while. You bought the pack of diapers on an impulse. You went out shopping for some things for the crew and stumbled upon them at the store. They were just too cute to pass up, I mean they had little animals on them and paw prints. So you bought them and sneakily brought the pack back to your room.

You were not so sure about trying them due to worrying that you may get a call, so you decide to wait a bit. You got dressed into your little outfit which is just a onesie with some cute shortalls on top. You clipped your paci to your shortalls and grabbed your bottle and went downstairs to fill it up with some apple juice. As you went down the stairs you were humming and singing the Paw Patrol theme rather loudly and jumping and skipping your way to the kitchen. As you hopped and skipped about to your little song, you didn’t notice that someone came back and you happened to bump into them on your way to the kitchen. A startled scream escaped your mouth when the impact was made.

You looked up to see who you bumped into and it was none other than the mysterious V. Your cheeks flushed a bright crimson as you began to stammer out an explanation only to be interrupted by a finger on your lips and a soft “Shhh” from V.

"Shhh. It’s alright little one, I’m not going to tell anyone about this precious side of yours.”

At that you couldn’t hold on much longer and you started to cry. As if on cue, V picked you up into his arms and started to bounce you on his hip while softly rubbing your back. He did this until your crying calmed down. Still in his arms he looked at you and asked “Do you feel better now my dear?” You just gave him a simple nod and a small smile formed on his lips. “I wouldn’t want to leave you in such a state alone, would you allow me to do the honor of taking care of you?” You were surprised at his offer and really it was all a dream come true but at the same time you didn’t want to bother him. You thought about it for a while and you just gave him a simple nod. You were just so tired emotionally from the crying and the events that happened prior.

V readjusted you on his hip and carried you upstairs to your room. He set you down onto your bed and then he sat down next to you. “Tell me little wanderer, what is it that you like to do?” You were embarrassed and shy and really you didn’t want to speak. You just averted his gaze and started to play with your paci that was clipped on your clothes. “Would you mind if I look through your box of little things?” You gave him a simple nod and you got the box of things from your closet and brought it to him. “Thank you for bringing it to me” with that he gave you a small pat on your head that made your cheeks turn bright red. You got back on the bed and laid down away from V as he went through your things. You could hear him hum to himself as he pulled out things and your eyes went wide as you heard the telltale sign of crinkling that he pulled out the pack of diapers.

You stayed quiet and still, thinking that if he couldn’t hear or “see” you, you would be invisible to him. I think he realized your plan because he said “Little one I know you’re there” and with that you let out a huge breath of air that you were holding in.

“You have quite the collection and I’m certainly impressed. Though I must ask if you would like to wear one of these, I’m certain you’re not wearing one since the package isn’t open.”

You stayed in your same spot and just shook your head no. “Little one it is nothing to be embarrassed about” he put his hand on your head and began to pet you. “You’re a baby and babies need diapers. So please don’t feel any shame.” You turned red again and tried to cover your face. “Ah-ah, don’t cover your beautiful face from me baby. Please tell me what you would like. You deserve a break at the least.” You mustered up all the strength you had just to say “You pick” You regressed rather deeply and that in turn took a toll on your vocabulary. Thankfully V understood. “Ah, so you would like me to decide our activities for the day?” You gave him a quiet “mhm”, which he then proceeded to turn you on your back and now you were looking at him directly.

He gave you a warm smile and said “Well first let’s put one of these on you” he gestured to the package of diapers. You looked away as he grabbed the supplies from the box and to your surprise he handed you Dragon.

“What’s your friend’s name? I’m quite curious”

“Dragon” you said quietly

“Ah what a lovely and suiting name”

He then proceeded to unbutton your shortalls. “Please let me know if you’re uncomfortable in any way” he gave you another one of his soft smiles as he brought your paci to your lips in which you shyly accepted. He chuckled and continued to unbutton your onesie and began to open the pack of diapers. V got one out and placed it next to you. He then removed your underwear and placed the diaper under you. He then sprinkled a generous amount of powder and taped the diaper up.

“See, now that wasn’t so bad Little one.”

He began to dress you again and when he was finished he picked you up. “You did so well during your first change. I’m quite proud of you.” You were rather ecstatic from hearing those words of praise. V must have noticed, “You should be pleased, you made quite a big step today and I do believe that deserves a treat!”. He took you down to the kitchen with you in his arms and made way to the small but full pantry.

[genderwoods]

this is a long post talking about my ocs and my wip. feel free to skip!! i just want to get over my embarrassment of talking about them

ok so. to talk about my ocs first i need to talk about the world theyre in. this is still a nameless wip but for now im calling it 'through the mist' while i decide on a better name.

brief explanation about the world: its the modern world as we know, maybe a few years into the future, but its not very important because society and technology are still pretty much the same. the difference is that in this story, the earth was enveloped by a dark and mysterious mist that is invisible to most people. the origins of this mist is still unknown, but what is known is that: 1) it affects peoples health in the areas that the mist is the most dense, and the number of lung diseases and cancer has incresead ever since it appeared. 2) it has some type of dark magic to it. its essence creates demon-like creatures called spectrums (i still want to find a cooler name) that are unknown by most people, but they bring chaos to the world. you can read more about spectrums and understand them better here (please mind any grammar mistakes, it is still a rough draft!)

but there are special people in the world known as the Enlighted that not only can see the mist, but they are aware of the existence of the spectrums and are given special powers to fight them. most of these people are born like normal humans, and only when they grow up they start to realize that they are different and that theres something wrong in the world they live in. once they find out about their own powers, they are located by a institution called Lux Mundi, and they are recruited either to be a scientist and schollar that studies the mist and the spectrums, or to be a warrior and fight the spectrums.

there are three types of enlighted: the lumen (those who are born with paranormal abilities to help them fight the spectrums), the saltium (those who are born with advanced intellect and are able to understand the complexities behind the magic of the mist and the spectrums) and the granum (those who are both lumen and saltium at the same time. they are very rare.)

this is all you need to know to understand the ocs!! i wont say a lot abt their backstories here so to not make the post even longer but if you want to ask me anything about them, feel free!

btw all of these characters are brazilian and the story takes place in brazil bc well. im brazilian and it was easier this way.

also im not an artist so all i have are picrews 💔 sorry for the low quality of some pictures, for some reason tumblr wont show the album i have them saved in when i open the gallery so i had to screenshot.

1. Kaiki Vitorino, 17

she's our main girl! Kaiki was born Salvador, Bahia but moved to São Paulo with her mom when she was a kid. she and her mom were very close, but due to complications caused by a lung disease, she passed away three years prior to the story, and Kaiki had to move in with her aunt (who also lived in São Paulo). Kaiki is very kind and empathetic, she would never hurt a fly and puts other peoples feelings above her own (sometimes a little too much). she loves geology and has a cool rock collection. Kaiki is a lumen, and her powers are called 'Blessed be The Light', which is basically light manipulation. i won't dive in too deep about their powers here, but you can ask me if you want to!

2. Ayla Rodrigues, 17

Kaiki's best friend since childhood (and secretly love interest)! Ayla was born in São Paulo and met Kaiki in school. she has a very complicated family, which includes divorced parents and a dead younger sister, who died in a car accident with her dad when he was drunk driving. she doesn't speak to him anymore, and grief they dont know how to deal with has led her and her mom to a complicated relationship. Ayla is closed off, aloof and even arrogant to most people. When someone wins her heart however, she shows her more vulnerable side: she's a nerd, loves literature, music and cult movies, likes anime, and will do anything for her loved ones, especially Kaiki, who she is so in loved with is embarrassing. she is a lumen, and her powers are called 'Blesed be the Gravity', which is, you guessed! gravity manipulation.

3. Dandara Carvalho, 20

Born and raised at Lux Mundi, Dandara is the Head Trainer of the Lumen's division. Daughter of Eva Carvalho, supreme leader of Lux Mundi's instalations in Brazil, and Isaac Carvalho, Vice-Supreme and Head Counselour for the Saltium's division, Dara is the real deal: strong, disciplined, determined. she has been training since she was a kid, and her mom has always been very strict when it comes to this. Dara was trained by the old Head Trainer before her, an old man called Kaluanã. He was wise beyond this world, but after his passing at the old age of 80yo, Dara took over his functions. Eva wants Dara to be the next Supreme Leader, but all that she wants is to keep training and teaching other Lumens. They have a very strained relationship, but she gets along very well with her dad. Dara may seem intimidating, but she actually has a heart of gold: she's a dork who loves her friends to death and has a loud and weird laugh. she wont stand for injustice and is extremely reliable. shes also extremely, totally down bad for her girlfriend Yasmin. her powers are called 'Blessed be The Fire', but she also knows a lot of different martial arts.

4. Yasmin Senna

Yasmin may not be very impressive at first, but those who know her know that she is, in fact, a genius. Born and raised in São Paulo, Yasmin has always been the pride and joy of her family: as a kid, she was mostly quiet and kept to herself, didnt talk to other kids a lot and prefered to spend the day cracking her toys open to see how they worked. Her bad social skills and reclusion made her an easy target for bullying in elementary school – kids would take her toys away and mess with her all day long. this lead to a fatidic accident where one day she had a meltdown and unleashed her powers, 'Blessed be the Sound', a type of soundwave manipulation, and left everyone in the scene, including her, deaf. nowadays, yasmin uses hearing aids, but she has long ago gotten used to being deaf, and she doesnt mind her disability, but feels extremely guilt for the accident. she's the grandaughter of kaluanã, daras old mentor, but she had only know him as a kid before he moved to Lux Mundi. this is what made dara want to get closer to her at first, but then they feel in love. yasmin is extremely smart – in fact, she is a granum, but she refuses to use her powers, so she only works in the Saltium division.

5. Eric Senna, 19

Yasmin's twin brother, Eric is probably the only out of the Lux Squad that has decent social skills. He's charming, charismatic, funny, smart and has the world's biggest ego. Eric carries a lot of guilt over the bullying that happened with Yasmin, because he feels like he was too weak to protect his sister, so he has kind of become overprotective over her, even this kind of pisses Yasmin off (and Dandara too). he's one of those people that always act like they're the best, but deep down are their own worst enemy. he's talented, has a hundred different hobbies and speaks three languages. eric is always down for challenges and he loves to prank people. he has a cat and dog relationship with Dandara: they're always fighting and bickering, but they truly care for each other a lot. Eric is a lumen and extremely insecure about his powers – 'Blessed be the Thunder', electricity/lightining manipulation – because no matter how much he trains, his powers doesn't seem to get stronger.

These are the 5 main characters kf my wip! WOW ok this was. a lot. If someone has actually read untill now. thanks a lot, and let me know if you have any questions about anything in my wip or about my ocs! I love to talk about them!! :D

[lychniis]

MEMORY — REFERENCE NOTES + CONCEPTS

index

( some gods were but forgotten memories ; even for him. ) there was once a god in sumeru, cursed to be forgotten. foras, who danced beneath the moonlight. foras, who walked amongst mortals and granted her wishes, who stood upon destitution and death in the face of madness. foras, who dared to love morax with her heart and soul.

AO3 SUMMARY

REFERENCES ;

🦋 — INTRODUCTION

first off, thank you to @silentmoths and @ofoceansandtombsanew for actually sitting through my mad ramblings for this fic and the story. a lot of my current notes and plot threads were actually developed while i was speaking to them and to bear that level of patience witnessing my keyboard smashing? you have my respect ( also please check out the latter's god reader fic for genshin ; her reader, amur literally has my heart ).

one of the main reasons why i’m excited about this fic is mostly due to sumeru’s lore as a whole. the reader is from sumeru, and with me being south asian, i can nerd out and add as many references as i want, both in and out of lore and straight out of historical and mythical text. this post is actually a compilation of the references i added to my story so far. i'll keep updating it with every chapter, so if you're interested in any way, feel free to drop by!

in regards to the reader; yes you could say she is an oc of sorts, but simultaneously, she is not. i think the only set thing about them other than their backstory and personality is the godly title 'foras'. the interpretation of her appearance is wholly up to you, though i may end up drawing artwork of my own of my interpretation of her.

memory as a whole, is supposed to be a tragedy, as well as a bit of a study on zhongli's character and other stuff related to the reader that i will delve into later. but loneliness and helplessness as a whole is certainly going to be a recurring factor here. also i'm a total sucker for the 'god who loves humanity but is too weak to help them' trope. think of the song zange mairii...it's sort of like that.

speaking of which, yes foras is a god similar to the ones in noragami, one of my favorite animes, who are either reincarnated humans or were born from a wish or a story. due to this, human belief and memory is what essentially keeps them alive. i think you know where i might be going from here >:).

🦋 — PROLOGUE

i. the poetry used is an excerpt of the first and a part of the second paragraph of walter del la mare’s poem, two epitaphs. there is no clear explanation on what the poem itself is about but i take it to be a reminder of human mortality in a way. the poet is basically telling you that all in all, in the end, you're going to be pretty lonely after death and that kind of struck me as morbid and funny. it does tie into the reader's story in a way, since she literally dies before being pulled out as a fresh new god centuries later.

you know, like a potato.

ii. bhasmasura is actually a demon from hindu texts, a demon who asked lord shiva for a boon after he meditated for a really, really long time. unfortunately, hindu gods weren't all that great at noticing red flags and shiva certainly did not when bhasmasura flat out asked him for the ability to spontaneously combust anyone who he touches.

shiva did realize his oopsie when said demon turned on him and flat out started chasing him through the heavens trying to boop his nose. in the end, vishnu, the guy who manages the divine balance and all ended up taking the form of one of his incarnations, mohini, who is dubbed to be the most beautiful woman in the world and effectively seduces bhasmasura.

now, being a simp, bhasmasura skips the dating stage and asks her to marry him. mohini refused and states that the only way she will accept his hand in marriage is if he replicates her dance moves to the 't'. now at the stage of near obessive simping because mohini hot, bhasmasura agrees and mohini starts showing him the dance steps he was meant to copy. he does do surprisingly well.

until mohini touches her head.

and this dumbass does too.

so he ends up reverse midas touching himself and spontaneously combusts due to his own powers. mohini then returns to the heavens as vishnu again, ignoring all the horrified stares he received. the moral of the story : don't skip to marriage without a few dates.

iii. one of the main reasons why i chose bhasmasura is mainly because of the relation between the boddhisattva and vishnu. due to years of adaptation and appropriation, hindu and buddhist gods are pretty easy to mix up or corelate to each other. in some parts of india, people might just tell you that the boddhisattva ( who is buddha's og form ) and vishnu as basically the same. it's really confusing and explaining it in depth would take a while. all in all, it's kind of similar to the roman-greek thing where they have similar gods going by different names.

the boddhisatva's incarnations are actually detailed as different stories in the jatakas. so yeah, in the archon war, rukkhadevata basically mc-killed teyvats bhasmasura XD.

iv. mahosadha is a prominent characters in the jatakas and is actually the one incarnation i'm the most familar with ( a la the amar chitra katha comics ). in the original stories, he was a really smart baby who was later adopted by a king and made his advisor at the age of seven. so yeah, smart baby. most of his stories revolve around him completely decimating evil plots and schemes.

here he is is more or less one of rukkha's avatars ( like nahida...hmmmm foreshadowing??? ), a leaf taken from the irminsul. you could say he's sort of her son, but since he is a completely separate being from her, he has more of a diciple who traverses around teyvat to collect knowledge while she manages her nation. the reader is actually his junior in this craft.

he can also talk to birds and has a pet parrot, which i think is cute.

v. 'anahita' is my stand in name for the goddess of flowers. she's the persian goddess of nature and fun fact, nahida's name is actually derived from 'anahita' which is pretty fascinating! anahita's symbol is the lotus flower ( similar to nilou's own lotus motifs ). while the recent quest did give lots of insight on the goddess as a person, we still got no name. i mean, come on hoyo, don't be shy-

vi. 'vanrani' means 'forest queen' or 'queen of the forest'. sort of a nod to the aranara's 'arayani'. he usually calls her that as a term of endearment or informality rather than using it as a formal title. it's on the same vein as say, the names 'venti', 'zhongli' and 'ei'.

vii. ah yes the monsoons. it's basically the only drastic change in weather we get in the coasts. i remember many a day kicking buckets under leaky parts of my roof and sitting in the dark in the middle of power cuts. good ol days.

viii. the reader's goetia name is 'foras'. according to the ars goetia and our overlord, wikipedia :

'foras is a powerful president of hell, being obeyed by twenty-nine legions of demons. he teaches logic and ethics in all their branches, the virtues of all herbs and precious stones, can make a man witty, eloquent, invisible (invincible according to some authors), and live long, and can discover treasures and recover lost things.' [ source wikipedia ].

my other alternative name was 'bifrons' for the reader, but foras' 'wish granting' schtick seemed to sit better.

🦋 — CHAPTER ONE

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🦋 — CHAPTER TWO

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🦋 — CHAPTER THREE

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🦋 — CHAPTER FOUR

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🦋 — INTERLUDE

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🦋 — EPILOGUE

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CHARACTER CONCEPTS + SKETCHES ;

🦋 — FORAS

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AINE © 2023. do no plagiarize, repost or rework this piece.

[your-kneecaps-are-mine-now]

!!The Magnus Archives S3 SPOILERS!!

To start, the spoiler warning, ^ obvy. But if you don't want any spoilers please don’t read. This is a mid to late s5 listeners thoughts, no grantee that this is just s3 spoilers. IM BEING SEREOUS! 

You have been warned.

Okay, I’ve had time to think about my recorder theory,(See This post) so you’re gonna get a little deeper dive on that now that I’ve established the base for the idea. Fyi, skip to the 2nd to last paragraph for a shorter version of the long bit.

As I mentioned previously, I believe the recorders are Eye aliened but not affiliated. By this I mean in the way Breekon and Hope are Stranger aliened. If you don’t recall or missed it in MAG 128: Heavy Goods(Transcript) Breekon tells his story. BREEKON: “We started in a plague.” “But with the circus, we were among our own kind at last.” The two have been pretty heavily implied to have never been human. They “stared", probably, during one of the black plague out breaks in Europe. If we assume that they didn’t “come to be” specifically in London and assume they wandered over to London(they might have I cant remember, its been a while since I’ve listened to that episode) then the earliest they could have “started” is somewhere around 1347(the start of the first BIG bubonic plague outbreak in Europe) or later, as the last outbreak ended in 1665. “The last bubonic plague outbreak was the Great Plague of 1665, which resulted in the deaths of 100,000 Londoners in just seven months.” (Source1)(Source2) If we go of of this info even if they “started” at the later date that still makes them OLD, OLD. This isn't a deep dive on those two though so we’re moving on. The point of that, though, was to display how old/long lived these things can be. If we refer back to MAG 111: Family Business(Transcript) GERRY: “I always think it helps to imagine them like colours. The edges bleed together, and you can talk about little differences: “oh, that’s indigo, that’s more lilac”, but they’re both purple.”(tbh I love this explanation of the powers the best) With these things on the table we can get to our point.

I believe the tapes are Eye aligned like Breekon and Hope are Stranger aliened, they feel most comfortable around their respective, chosen, powers but still do things for, and interact with the other powers frequently. Due to the bleeding colors theory we know that no power can truly be separate. I think that the recorders are the ears of all the powers but most fond of, and accessible/accessed, by The Eye. I believe that most of the other powers don’t want to/or care to reach out to the recorders because they see the collection/listening of knowledge an Eye exclusive.

Anyway, that’s what I think. If I do any more “deep dives” like this it will probably be on something else (TMA ofc). Feel free to interact w/ this post however you like. But do share your thoughts and feelings on this idea. Also, if you have any theories I’d love to hear them (they don’t have to be about the recorders). I do know that most of my theory's are wild shots in the dark and based off of throw away lines or evidence but I like to make them any who. <3

[chronicallyuniconic]

Where do I start with that appointment with the doctor?

✨ [TLDR a very personal post about a single doctors appointment when you already have chronic illnesses, TW for medical bxllshit] ✨

They asked me to come to see them for the below list of symptoms I gave. I have heavily condensed for this post, they're in no particular order, feel free to skip them:

\\ Tingling and numbness in fingers and palm of hand, with weaker grip and cold feeling. Also occurs in right foot, sometimes both feet

Skin problems: Irritation, lumps under skin, thicker and darker body hair causing irritation

Jerking up back from coccyx, legs kicking out and knees locking

Losing feeling when taking a step, hips hurting all the time, affects my walk and I drop. Holding breath to stop jerking due to pain

Passing out with sudden nausea feeling, followed by paralysis and pins and needles in arms. Vomiting after passing out

Vertigo, dizziness when tilting head back, stumbling to the side when standing

Headache and jaw pain leading to migraine

Dry eyes with dark shapes in vision

Losing control of bladder, urgency to urinate, no build-up, sudden full bladder. IBS, fluctuating between constipated and not constipated

Longer, heavier, more painful periods since coming off the pill. Pressure, sharp pain, and hip pain during periods

Cellular level exhaustion, feeling like there is concrete or sand in bones. Nodding off even after sleeping for long periods //

Arrived to see noone in the waiting area or reception wearing a mask, just me. Doctor was wearing one thankfully. This shouldn't have to be up for debate in a pandemic, but there we are.

I started off with the hip problem as its concerned me most, what with losing functionality, just dropping to the ground, struggling to lift myself back up and continue to walk. They got me to lay on the table, made me push and pull against their arm with both legs then said "if you're having this type of weakness you typically wouldn't be able to walk." They just watched me walk, in the way I do, and it instantly made me think *well they don't believe me or do they think that I've just put that on, like made it up?*

The doctor asked about my bladder weakness, didn't/couldnt(?) give any explanation as to why I have sudden urgency and lack of control. My take was that "I shouldn't be losing control of my bladder the way I am. I am not 80 yrs old." Them "we'll get a urine sample" (every single urine sample I have provided in the last 7 years has come back exactly the same, with the same unexplained & ignored "protein in urine"🙃)

They then asked about how I managed some of the above symptoms. Painkillers, baths, heatpads, yoga stretching, etc etc.

"How are your periods?" I explained to them that since I came off the pill they have gotten much heavier each month as time has gone on, typically leaving me in bed from the 3rd day, for 7 to 10 days, I have this constant bearing down feeling with sharp, crushing pains where my ovaries would be, flares up IBS and so on.

For them to say "that's completely normal, you can treat with ibuprofen." At my age, I just felt disbelief in their comment. I have been treating my periods since I was 10 years old for pain management and to reduce heavy flows. I don't take ibuprofen because it flares my asthma, something they should see, but throughout my life, I have noticed that medical professionals refuse to accept it as a side effect that occurs in me and look perplexed by the statement "ibuprofen flares asthma"

The doctor commented that 'I mentioned my symptoms may be more applicable to Multiple Sclerosis' and asked why I think that.

I explained about the new symptoms, worsening of old and new symptoms and the difference between first symptoms at diagnosis to how they present now.

They then asked about my medications and whether they work for me. I explained that none of the medications have helped with fatigue in particular, for the next lines to happen:

Doctor "We can increase X if you like."

Me "I didn't think I could, but if you think it will help fatigue(?)"

Doctor "Why did you think that you could not? Is it because you read it somewhere or someone told you?

Me "No, it's because I'm pretty sure I'm already on the maximum dose."

*doctor looks up doses*

Doctor "Yes, you are right"

Is it just me?? This bullshit is infuriating to me & its so disheartening. This motherfxcker doctor asked ME to come to THEM.

Doctor "so what would you like me to help with what are your main concerns?"

Me "I'm tired beyond comprehension, I haven't been here physically in 2 & 1/2 years because I cannot leave the house. I'm in pain all the time, mainly in my hips, I get constant migraines that cause vertigo, my sudden loss in bladder function, I'm a young person this should not be happening to me and I can't explain it, it's embarrassing and I want these symptoms to stop or know how to treat them or what to do, it's affecting my life"

Doctor "in all of that you never mentioned pain and this is a significant symptom of MS"

Me "it was one of the first things I said, I-"

How can I receive any care when it's like this? Where is the treatment within all of this?

At this point I felt myself start dissociating, mentally I've already left the room, realising what this doctor sees and thinks of me. They mention something about physiotherapy to help my hip/leg problem. I've been on a list with a chronic pain/management clinic for 5 years, suffering waiting for physio.

As I was leaving I said to them, "because I look normal, like this, noone understands my symptoms or seems to believe I have them" for them to give me the pity head tilt, the childlike-sympathy a grazed knee gets, the "oh I know" the way a teenage breakup is handled.

Is there ever going to be a sense of understanding that goes beyond fellow spoonies, zebras & warriors alike?

I'm still wondering why the hell they asked me to go when really, nothing has happened, again.

Again, I had a doctors appointment, where I wish I hadn't bothered at all & my symptoms are now considerably worse as a result.

Does anyone else experience this type of thing or just understand? It's a lonely feeling when you always feel like you have nobody on your side.

[kurishiri]

25 . . . alfons main story — blind love finale

꒰ ִ ֺ ⊹ @ notice ⊹ ֺ ִ ꒱ this translation may not be 100% accurate or contain creative liberties due to characterization or narrative flow purposes. if you enjoy, please consider reblogging, but don’t repost these or claim these as your own!

— cw: none, hope you enjoy 🪞🤍

—— Alfons’ POV ——

If life were a fairy tale, finding happiness would be a simple thing.

Do not lend your ear to dangerous temptations.

Do not be misled by convenient illusions.

If you do that, an ordinary happiness filled with peace will await you, overflowing.

But——is such happiness not just nothing short of a bore?

—— Kate’s POV ——

Jude: Oi, ya pleb. Take it.

Kate: Hm? Wah— ...a letter?

This morning marked the third to last day before the promised month was over.

While eating breakfast, an envelope was waved before me.

And then, the one who had thrown it down before me proceeded to sit in his seat and open a newspaper without bothering to give any explanation.

Ellis: Your letter got mixed up with the ones meant for Jude.

Kate: Ah, I see, so that’s what happened.

Alfons: Well, isn’t this a sight to behold, to think Jude didn’t burn the letter that got mixed up to cinders and instead brought it to the recipient in person.

Jude: Ain’t gonna matter if it’s in the furnace or a plate, throwin’s still throwin’.

Ellis: Who’s the letter from?

Kate: Let’s see... oh, it’s from the head of the post office.

When I opened it, there on it said——

Kate: ‘If you are returning after your tenure at the castle ends, you’re always welcome back’... is what’s written.

(Returning, huh...)

I narrowed my eyes as the scent of the stationary and envelope from my life once upon a time wafted.

Kate: It’s a bit nostalgic... my time working as a postwoman seems like such a long time ago now.

Liam: Wait, Kate, you’re heading back? To the post office.

Kate: Huh?

Harrison: ...That’s up to Kate. We shouldn’t meddle with that.

Liam: But, Al’s curious too, right?

Alfons: As much as the next person.

Alfons slowly turned his gaze to me.

Alfons: If Kate is doing things she finds fun, is that not enough?

Kate: ——Yes, of course.

K: That’s exactly what I intend to do.

—— Time skip ——

Victor: Mhm, yep, it’s very well written.

V: I’d expect nothing less of Miss Kate, indeed. The details are all specific and it’s flawless.

Kate: Thank you, Victor.

Victor: In the first part, I can really feel your will to try and understand all the Cursed ones equally.

V: But then in the middle, you gradually put your research findings regarding the Mirror Curse to the end.

Kate: ...Although it’s embarrassing, I have no excuse to give...

Little by little, as I continued to write the report, just like within my mind,

it wasn’t long before Alfons appeared before me in this reality, encroaching upon me.

Victor: I’m sure Roger would be delighted if you were to give him this as a present.

(...Sorry about that, but actually, I did already give him this ‘as a present.’)

I shared the summarized version of the second half with Roger.

(I can’t really tell Victor how I leaked some of the report that was meant for Her Majesty.)

But I wanted to continue to be of some help to Roger.

After all, his knowledge and research was needed and imperative for the things I ‘wanted to do.’

——Is that not a bribe? I see you have no room to say anything about me now, do you.

(No, it’s not that. This is just... a bit of an investment for the future. Yes, an investment.)

I responded to the Alfons in my mind with patently empty words.

Victor: Tomorrow would mark the promised last day.

V: This past month, as per your contract, you have kept our secret and recorded their sins.

V: Should you make it through this night——you will be free.

V: So would you mind if I asked? How would you like to live from here on out?

Kate: I——

K: I would like to continue finding a way to escape Alfons’ fate, as fairytale keeper.

When I looked up, Victor quietly narrowed his eyes.

Their eyes as they gleamed in the darkness of the night——I recalled the day I first saw them.

I had thought to myself how much I wanted to run away, but now I didn’t want to leave this place.

After all, I had found something important to do, and I couldn’t do it anywhere but here.

Victor: ...And why do you want to?

Kate: The marks he had engraved in me, I don’t want to forget them. Not a single one.

K: If, by any chance, he dies before me——at that time I want to say ‘I most definitely will not forget.’

K: And, if possible... I don’t want those words to amount to a convenient illusion.

K: I want them to be the reality.

The fates of the Cursed ones were absolute.

But——I couldn’t simply give up without trying anything.

(And besides, above all...)

Kate: I’m going to spend my whole life to make Alfons, who thinks that doing so is impossible,

K: eat his own words, you can bet on it!

Victor: ... (O_O)

Kate: After all, if I were to reverse a tragedy on its heels, it would become the ultimate comedy, right?

I knew it was mostly a gamble.

It was a match that would last a lifetime.

And if I were to lose, only despair would await.

(But, I will definitely turn this into a comedy.)

(I won’t let that person dance upon the stage of a tragedy.)

Victor: ...A way to escape from the fates, huh. ...For sure.

V: That’s a wonderful goal. And I do have an inkling in me that, if it’s you——you will be able to do it.

V: You are free. You can go anywhere you’d like, and you can do whatever you want.

V: And whenever you feel lost... may you never forget that we are your allies.

Kate: ...Yes, I will. Thank you very much.

Victor: Well then, let me say once again——welcome, Kate.

V: I am sure the world of darkness will take you in with open arms.

—— Time skip; city at night ——

——I was on the way back after receiving permission to meet the head of the post office and submitting my letter of resignation.

Harrison was the one who accompanied me, and while walking a few steps behind me, he asked.

Harrison: Hey... are you really okay with this?

Kate: What do you mean?

Harrison: I’m pretty sure you know by now, but... Al is out somewhere in the night city again right about now.

Kate: ...Yes, I know.

Although we were now in a relationship, it seemed Alfons still continued with his ‘indulgent private life.’

Harrison: Here you are, having thrown your old life for this dark path, too...

H: But you’re okay with this?

Kate: ...I——

When I opened my mouth to answer, a single carriage stopped beside us.

(W-what...!?)

On my toes, the door to the carriage opened and——

Harrison: ——!

Kate: Eek—!?

An arm came out and pulled me inside.

(Who, what!? An enemy of Crown!? Or a kidnapper!?)

Alfons: Kate, it’s me.

Kate: A-Alfons!?

I didn’t even have time to be surprised as the carriage departed.

Kate: Ah, I need to let Harrison know...!

Alfons: The exterior shows it’s a carriage used by Crown, so I take it Harrison saw that for the most part.

(Oh, I see...)

When I realized I was the only one panicking, I felt a bit frustrated at that

as I looked beside me at Alfons.

(Ah, he isn’t giving off that fragrance today...)

On days he went out to play at night, like a symbol of his indulgent private life,

he would always be covered in the sickly sweet fragrance of night.

—— Flashback ——

Harrison: Here you are, having thrown your old life for this dark path, too...

H: But you’re okay with this?

—— End flashback ——

The words from just a bit ago flashed through my mind and——

[1] Were you in that shady room?

[2] Were you out drinking?

[3] Did you show illusions somewhere? (+4 / +4)

Kate: Did you show illusions somewhere?

Alfons: Well, I suppose so, something like that.

Seeing his nonchalant profile, I pushed my pent feelings down my throat.

My feelings felt vague, unsure if I wanted to press him further or if I was scared to, as they whirled in my mind.

Alfons: ...Do you dislike that?

But then, Alfons was the one to do the asking.

Kate: That... if I said I didn’t dislike it at all, that would be a lie...

I couldn’t bring myself to scold him for it.

(It’s not that I’m scared of being thought of as troublesome or anything like that.)

(Because, I...)

Kate: ...It’s because you do those types of things that I fell in love with you.

K: Whether you’re showing illusions in the slums, or you’re giving an escape at the back of the pub,

K: or something else entirely... Well, I don’t really know,

K: but what I do know is that there is a kind of pain there that makes you want to give such a space.

Alfons: ...

(I don’t have to see his face to know he’s stunned.)

But, it couldn’t be helped.

Kate: Anyway, it’s fine! Ah... but, at least...

K: When it comes to things like kisses or ‘giving love’ to others from your heart and whatnot... please leave that just for me.

Alfons: ... (O_O)

A: Well then——would it be safe to say that doing these kinds of things is alright with others?

Kate: ...?

Alfons’ palm wrapped around my waist next to him.

He pulled me in, and with no place to run, his hands traced my legs, causing my body to jump.

Alfons: Do you not want me to touch anyone other than you?

His other hand messed with my skirt, making their way from my back to my chest, playing with me from over my clothes.

I held back the voice that was about to come out, and he sweetly bit my ears.

Kate: hah, uh...

Alfons: Say, Kate,

A: just how far can I take it?

Kate: ah, ah...

When his fingers were about to slip beneath my undergarments, I couldn’t bear it anymore, and I rose a white flag.

Kate: ...N-no...

K: Shouldn’t that be obvious... ah...

Alfons: Hehe, you’re finally honest, I see.

And here I wanted to become an understanding lover, but when my true feelings slipped out, I felt tears prick my eyes.

Seeing me like this, he gave a slightly troubled smile.

Alfons: When it comes to playing at night, it does pain me to say, but I reckon I won’t be able to stop that. It’s my hobby, pleasure, and my life work, you see.

Kate: I...I know...

Alfons: The same applies to drinking and going around showing illusions——but.

A: I would very much like to try my best loving you back to the fullest.

A: So, when it comes to kisses, loving caresses, and sex... I won’t do it with anyone but you.

(I want to believe him, but...)

Kate: ...That’s... definitely a lie...

K: I know you do those kinds of things so I won’t end up in pain again or saddened——

Alfons: Ahha! So you don’t end up in pain? Why, hardly! I assure you I have not an ounce of such intentions.

A: ——You’re happy, aren’t you?

A: I am yours, and yours alone. I will do pleasurable things, only with you.

Kate: ...?

Was it the ‘truth,’ or ‘not the truth’?

Like a coin that continued to spin, there was no way to know the result.

Alfons: Even though there’s no way to know if these words are a truth or a lie, they are still engraved in the depths of your heart,

A: and surely, you will remember them every time I go out at night.

As though being cast by a magic spell, Alfons’ words were indeed engraved in my mind.

Alfons: You may end up tailing me yet again to see if it’s true or not as well, yes?

A: And then if you know them to be true, they will end up carving themselves ever more deeper within you.

A: Then just like that, I do implore you to aaaaaalways think about me.

His words made their way within me.

I was sure it was an evil spell that would root itself once again, intending to cause mischief.

Alfons: And I am not saying I will love you back to the fullest to make you feel better or anything of the sort.

A: I want to make your heart take me in deeper and deeper... so I can leave a scar that will never fade away.

Kate: ...uu...

I couldn’t take it anymore, and finally tears spilled from my eyes.

Alfons, as though comforting a child, wiped those tears with a smile.

Alfons: Aha, have I scared you?

Kate: No...!

K: This is... because I’m happy...

Alfons, who had hoped to disappear without leaving a single trace of him behind, now wanted to leave a deep scar.

And that was the undeniable proof of his love.

Kate: I’m crying... because I’m happy...

Alfons: ...If that’s so, then by all means cry more.

Those wicked hands touched me this time not to test my true feelings, but rather to love me.

Kate: ...But, in this carriage...

Alfons: You also said such a thing before, haven’t you.

A: And at that time, we didn’t go all the way, so——

A: ——Today, make me feel good as well, why don’t you.

That sweet yet dangerous temptation poured into my ear.

He didn’t need to show me an illusion, because I...

——I could no longer resist this voice.

We made love in the cramped carriage, unable to hold back our voices, and we fell into a short sleep there——

Kate: mn...

Alfons: ...Ahh, awake at last, I see?

When I opened my eyes, Alfons voice gently fell upon my eyes.

Alfons: So, how was it? Using my thighs as a pillow, that is.

Kate: ...It felt... really good...

Alfons: I’m glad to hear.

Letting out a giggle, his fingertips gently stroked my hair.

When I slowly lifted my body up, I realized my blouse came loose and was slipping off,

so in a panic, I picked it back up and hid my frontside, and Alfons let out a laugh again, saying ‘there’s no need to hide it at this point.’

Outside the sky started to paint itself in a light pink hue, and it seemed the carriage was parked in front of the entrance of Crown castle.

There was no sign of the coachman.

Alfons, whose back was to the window, was dimly outlined by the light,

and the morning looked as though it was bestowing its blessings upon him as much as the darkness of the night seemed a little reluctant to part ways with him.

He looked so beautiful, it took my breath away as I was drawn to the sight, and our eyes gently met.

Alfons: Say, Kate.

A: The things you ‘want to do’... actually, I was listening in on that.

(Huh...?)

‘I would like to continue finding a way to escape Alfons’ fate.’

What did he think of me then, when I had told Victor that?

Alfons: In all honesty, I thought it was nothing short of foolish.

A: After all, it’s called a ‘fate’ specifically because we can’t escape from it.

Alfons let out a small sigh——and then he smiled calmly.

Alfons: But——I happen to quite like that ever so serious side to you as well.

Kate: ...What do you mean, ‘quite?’ I think you mean to say you like it ‘very much.’

Alfons: .........

(Hm...?)

After a bout of silence — a rare happening to be sure — he gently took my hand.

(Alfons...?)

It was an unusually reverent gesture coming from him, and I was rendered speechless from surprise.

Alfons: ...Truth be told, I am a bit hopeless when it comes to these straight words of love.

A: Perhaps it’s because I’ve come to just throw these ‘I love you’s or ‘I like you’s around without putting my heart into it,

A: but the moment I say them, it feels like they become more of a lie than anything.

A: So, that’s why——I hope you may take this instead.

As though making a sacred vow, he gently pressed his lips on the back of my hand.

Alfons, whose gaze was pointed a bit downwards, seemed very much sincere.

If there was ever such a thing as a ‘true love’s kiss’ in this world,

then there was not a doubt in me that this very kiss would be exactly that.

Alfons: I will make you the happiest you will ever be... and someday, I will make you fall into despair.

I had no way of knowing whether his fate could be changed.

So, that was why, to him, this love may end up paving the path to a tragedy.

But——

Kate: ...I know you will make me the happiest I’ll ever be.

K: But, I won’t ever fall into despair.

Alfons: ...Goodness.

A: Somehow, I do end up feeling that, as long as you’re smiling in the end, any tragedy may end up becoming a comedy.

Kate: Hehe, that’s what I’m here for.

You can make me fed up all you want.

So that’s why, I want Alfons to smile from the bottom of his heart.

Kate: Your life, and my life too... I will turn everything into a comedy.

Alfons: Yes, yes, I hear you.

A: Perhaps we should enjoy this as much as we possibly can then, no?

Mirror, mirror on the wall, show me not a dream I long to see.

Though naught but sad things does reality enthrall...

Lay your truth down here before me.

In my heart, in my body, may you carve it all,

as nevermore upon this love will an illusion dare befall.

Fin.

Act 3 • The sacred kiss

← prev fin. epilogue → his side

masterlist🪞 ╱ ko-fi ☕️

END NOTES: what did you think?! i’m really weak when stories do that thing where they take the beginning and then put it in the end but with a couple minor changes to show that there was development in the story. i also really do like this end cg too. it’s a bit less dramatic than the mad love one, but i think this very kiss is something very important to both alfons and kate. there’s just a lot of meaning behind it which makes it so quietly beautiful to me.

i would say, if mad love made my heart beat more and had me on the edge of my seat, blind love definitely just made me feel really… happy and soft inside. i’m really proud of how far they’ve come! i hope you enjoyed this story! it was really fun to translate as well, so i hope i could convey this 🥹🫶

p.s. the gdoc i use to write up (unedited) translations before they’re published here… is at 96,396 words! wow!

꒰ ִ ֺ ⊹ @ tags🏷️ ⊹ ֺ ִ ꒱ @drachonia @.comment, send an ask off anon, or dm to be added or removed!

[nethercomfies]

A personal note

This is mostly a bit about why I've been gone so long and sort of "future plans" I have for this blog, so... If that doesn't interest you, feel free to skip this post.

On where I've been:

Initially, I took a break from Tumblr due to some larger drama going on behind the scenes that I inevitably got tangled up in... I don't really want to go in too much detail as it's all in the past now and I generally don't want to bring up any drama on this blog, just as a small explanation I guess?

Anyway, then life just happened... Went on a vacation, moved to a different town, college starting back up again, and a bunch of other stressful things, along with a loss of someone incredibly important to me... Overall, I didn't really have the time or energy to write, or deal with running a blog for that matter, so Tumblr had to be put aside for a while as I tried to sort my life again.

Honestly, I don't even know if half the people I used to interact with on here are still around (Except for Lost... Hi, Lost! :) 💛... Also Hori and Addy who've already popped up in my notifications 👀), but it might be nice to interact with people again as well, as I haven't been able to talk to a whole lot of people lately either...

On future plans:

I'm in my final year of college, preparing for finals in July and some other exams spread out along the way, as well as having a lot of homework and stuff to study for. In short, I don't have a WHOLE lot of time for the forseeable.

But I'd still like to get back into writing, since it's been a nice escape amd some of you guys have always been so sweet and kind to me, so I hope that in my free time I'll manage to put something out every once in a while.

It might be mostly shorter scenarios, headcanons, etc., but I'll try my best.

I've actually been sort of working on something bigger in the background, which is still in the planning stages, but will probably take up a large part of my writing, but in the meantime I'll try to squeeze something smaller in every once in a while.

I've also been trying to create more art again, so if I get to the level where I'm comfortable enough to share that again, I might throw in a few drawings every once in a while too.

Aside from that, I don't know yet how active I'll be on here... I remember getting really overwhelmed at times, so it's fully possible that I'll just pop in here to post and then flee to my private blog again, but idk about that yet.

Just... If I'm slow to respond to asks, dms, etc., that's why. I'll try my best to keep up, but it'll depend on how much energy I have for all of that. I'm not trying to ignore anyone, just doing my best to not run out of energy :)

That's mostly all I've wanted to talk about, thanks for reading this. Have a good night, everyone!

[omgitsshrimp]

[SPOILERS from Manga!] Attack on Titan Theory: The baby was NOT PLANNED.

MAJOR SPOILER WARNING!! IF YOU’RE ANIME ONLY SKIP THIS POST! 

I thought I’d share my own theory on the whole situation with Eren and Historia. Keep in mind this is just my opinion/interpretation of everything so far. I just want to get my two cents in. 

I know suggesting that the baby isn’t planned sounds nuts, but hear me out. In Ch 130 we’re shown panels of Eren and Historia discussing the military’s plans for her, Eren telling her his plan, and Historia discussing a baby with Eren. 

In one panel, Historia is standing in front of the wooden fence, on the left side of the panel; then in a later panel she’s standing in front of the wooden fence on the right side of the panel. 

I don’t think this is by accident. This implies that Eren and Historia met up more than once, which opens up a strong possibility of them meeting up several times in the past. So when Historia asks Eren about having a baby, we don’t know if she said that in the same conversation as the earlier panels. It could have happened at a completely different time. We only have a close up of her face when she says it, and we dont see the whole convo, which means we don’t know the full context around her bringing up a baby to Eren.  

*Assuming they have met up several times, it begs the question, why does Eren even meet up with Historia? In my opinion, it’s because he has feelings for her, and they might be involved romantically.

 We know that the songs for AoT can allude to or foreshadow events in the story. I feel like Eren and Historia’s meet ups were alluded to in two songs (that I know of) in AoT OST, “Zero Eclipse” and “Yuugure no Tori” (ed3).

Zero Eclipse (only later part of the song is related to Eren):

“Make a promise that I cannot regret, As long as I can see you but in secret”

Yuugure no Tori:

“I’ll sing out with my girl, Go to the meeting place sing alone”

If the Baby was Planned, It Would Contradict Eren’s ideals/motivation

Another reason I don’t think the baby is planned is because if the point is to not produce kids just for a strategic purpose then why would Eren and Historia make a plan to do just that? (ie having a baby to put off Historia eating Zeke). Having the reason for making a child be reduced to convenience/serving your plan doesn’t sit right with me. It doesn’t align with Eren’s beliefs, in my opinion.

Assuming that Eren and Historia are romantically involved and have been physically intimate for some time, I think its fair to consider that this baby was conceived by chance (as well as love) rather than some sort of necessity brought on by a situation. I think upon hearing what the military was planning for Historia, Eren decided to make plans for another way that wouldn’t sacrifice her. I don’t think that involved making a child. I think the child came about by chance and the panel of Historia asking Eren about a baby was maybe part of a longer conversation where she was telling him that she was pregnant. I know I’m making a lot of assumptions, but I don’t think its impossible. 

I think from there, Eren and Historia came up with a plan to hide the pregnancy in order to protect Historia from being connected to Eren, since he knew he was going to start going against the military and wanted to protect Historia from any association with that. And also, kept it secret because if Zeke some how found out, it would compromise Zeke’s confidence in Eren and mess up Eren’s plans. Eren and Historia’s plan to keep the paternity a secret involved lying about the due date and using the Farmer as a cover. I suspect the farmer guy agreed because he really did feel guilty about bullying Historia as a child. The fact that he felt guilty enough to work there for years opens the possibility of him willing to go along with Eren and Historia’s plan, so he can make up for everything.

Paneling Choices

Now I want to talk about Isayama’s choices when it comes to the panels in ch 130, specifically in regards to the scene of Eren making his plans, Eren and Historia talking, and Eren and Zeke discussing Mikasa. How Isayama chose to order these panels seemed to me, very intentional and meticulous. 

In the previous panels in the same chapter we see Eren refusing to allow Historia to be sacrificed and we see him willing to go against humanity for her (and Paradis as a whole). Isayama decided to shows us the process of Eren deciding to carry out this plan through his interactions with Historia, as if to convey that she’s a big reason for why he’s doing all this. He’s emphasizing her importance in how Eren came to start this mission by positoning her front and center. This sequence ends with Eren telling Historia that she saved him, paralleling Mikasa in a big way.

Then, we go to a conversation between Zeke and Eren about the Ackerman bloodline. Zeke is clarifying to Eren that there is no ingrained behavior and that Mikasa does all these things for him because she loves him. And right after Zeke says that, there is a panel of Eren and Historia. I feel like Isayama gave us an explanation of Eren’s actions right here. A discussion about Mikasa’s affection and devotion juxtaposed with images of Eren and Historia right after we saw several panels of Eren doing exactly what Zeke described Mikasa does for Eren, in my opinion, was meant to indirectly allude to why Eren is doing this and how he feels about Historia. Isayama doesn’t want to give it away just yet, but is giving subtle breadcrumbs. Using Mikasa’s feelings to juxtapose probably threw people off too.    

It’s my opinion that Eren loves Historia. There’s other evidence that people have pointed out that I also agree with, but I won’t delve deep I’ll just mention them here:

 -Hanji noticing Eren smiling at Historia and defending her wellbeing, then asking Eren about it. Eren snaps at Hanji when she brings up Historia.

-Historia getting teary eyed when Eren defends her in the meeting. 

The only person Eren has been consistent with protecting this whole time has been Historia. His desire to protect her never wavered. He’s been talking about protecting her since the end of season 3. The only person we’ve seen Eren confide in (about his plans etc.) is Historia. She’s clearly significant to him.

What Eren Kruger Said to Grisha

Another reason I think Eren loves Historia and is romantically involved with her is because of what Eren Kruger said to Grisha. The Attack titan shifter can see future memories as well as past ones. Kruger told Grisha to “love someone in the walls, build a family. If you can’t do that, the same cycle will repeat itself. If you want to save Mikasa and Armin, carry out your mission to the end”. I think Kruger was also talking to Eren here, OR Isayama was alluding to what Eren will need to do in order to save everyone. In the anime, they added a line for Kruger, he says “someone in the future might see this [moment/memory of their conversation]”. I think it was added to establish that there may be a link between what Kruger said and what Eren is doing. Afterall, we know Eren saw this conversation. 

I think Eren did fall in love, with Historia, and is building a family (conceived a baby by chance), and something about the experience of love and impending fatherhood has played an important role in Eren carrying out this mission and ultimately saving Armin, Mikasa and Paradis, while also ending the cycle of hate.

In Ch 130, we see Eren saying that he has to do the rumbling in order for the cycle of hate to end. Similar to what Kruger said. Everything is happening exactly as Eren saw it, we saw that with that little boy Halil (or was it Ramzi?). The future memories were all correct, so if Kruger was speaking based on future memories then what he said about love, building a family, saving Armin and Mikasa, probably had truth to it.

 Eren’s Talk with Mikasa in Ch 123

A lot of people see this as an ErenxMikasa moment but since Eren and Zeke’s conversation in Ch 130, I don’t think that’s the case. In Ch 123, Eren asks Mikasa “what am I to you?”. Mikasa flusters and says “family”. I think Eren asked her this because he was suspecting that her Ackerman bloodline was influencing her decisions. This probably worried him because he didn’t want Mikasa to be a slave to her bloodline. Mikasa’s answer didn’t clarify anything for him. He was left ambivalent on the subject and that’s why he asked Zeke about the Ackerman bloodline. 

Mikasa says in Ch 123, that maybe if she gave a different answer things would have happened differently, but Zeke did give Eren a clear answer about how Mikasa felt. Eren knew how she felt and it didn’t change anything. Eren was concerned about the Ackerman bloodline influence because he wanted Mikasa to be free, not because he’s romantically interested in her.

I do realize I could be dead wrong. I know suggesting the baby wasn’t planned is a huge stretch but I just thought I’d put it out there. I just want it to be true so badly lol. Even if the baby is planned, I think there’s still some truth to some of the other things I pointed out. This was just a fun thing for me to do. I normally don’t write long theory posts, but I figured why not since it’s so close to the end and everyone is speculating. Why not join in?

I think that’s it. I hope I’m not missing anything. As for how I think the whole story will end? I think because Eren freed Ymir, titan powers might cease to exist. But I don’t know how that’ll affect the 13 year Ymir curse if that does happen. So I guess we’ll see. 

Feel free to share your thoughts. I’m not AntiMikasa or anything. Please be respectful! Thanks for reading!

[chaoticneurodivergent]

Apologize in advance for this hot mess of a post and I'm probably going to delete it.

Did anyone else who is neurodivergent in any way (especially those who grew up undiagnosed) experience a kind of unique form of scapegoating where you were guilted, shamed, and blamed for things you had no control over for entire childhood by basically all of the adults in your life? Ranging from the classic "You're not living up to your full potential," "You're lazy," etc. comments that I know are common to essentially being treated as the villain child and compared to siblings and treated differently, and the reasons why were all linked to your neurodivergence?

(I explain my personal experience w/ this in the v long paragraph below, feel free to skip it if you don't want to read basically me venting, there's a tl;dr at end)

I know for a fact I was treated differently from my older sister my entire life. She was punished maybe once a month. I was constantly in trouble, and looking back, the things I was punished for were often linked to neurodivergence rather than stubbornness or disobedience. For example, I was in trouble for not falling asleep fast enough, for not being able to stay still in bed or be quiet for the long periods of time it would take me to fall asleep, for having trouble with chores (not noticing things, being slow, getting distracted, being inefficient), for getting distracted during schoolwork or for using improper tone of voice (constantly being told I was "rude" or "disrespectful" and getting told off for talking back when I explained that I truly didn't understand what that meant or how to fix it), for simply not being able to force myself to eat certain foods and being picky, for what I realize now was obvious stimming. After years and years of this, it became my identity in the family. I wasn't behaving badly, I WAS bad. I was called lazy, selfish, careless, trying to hurt everyone, stupid, manipulative, rebellious, disrespectful, disobedient, and too sensitive. But none of that came out of nowhere. I was inconvenient because of my neurodivergence, and since that was never diagnosed, my parents had no way of knowing. I had no excuse or explanation. So the neurodivergence and the bad experiences are so tied together that I can't fully separate them and blame either. Then on top of this, when I try to bring up my concerns, I'm just told "You're fine, you've never been abnormal, don't worry about it." It's hard for me to believe everything's normal and fine when they were the ones telling me I was all of these bad, abnormal things, that I was so different from other children. If I was truly fine and normal, either I truly am all of the things I was called growing up or my parents were just cruel without excuse. And I feel so much guilt, bc so many ppl who experienced scapegoating or verbal abuse were truly good kids. They did nothing wrong. I was bad. And no matter how much I was punished I couldn't be normal or good. But I didn't mean to be. I wanted so badly to be good and I just couldn't do anything right, I just couldn't be like my sister or my classmates. I couldn't do my homework, couldn't do the chores properly, couldn't fall asleep or keep track of anything in my mind or stop getting lost and confused with easy things and needing help. I truly don't blame my parents. I was not an easy child. But I didn't mean to be bad. So it seems like there's a unique experience of the intersection between neurodivergence and parents who maybe aren't the best at parenting. And that isn't mimicked really by anything else.

Tl;dr I don't know if anyone else experienced this or it's just a my family thing and I'm curious, but I'm thinking there might be a specific experience of being neurodivergent and being scapegoated / emotionally abused due to traits you have little to no control over due to parents or just adults in society who don't know how to deal with your neurodivergence and instead blame it all on you and expect you to figure out how to be normal or pay the price.

[sketching-shark]

I think we should start a protection squad (although they don’t need it because they can protect themselves) for Sun Wukong and Guanyin

“Begone monkie kid fandom trying to down grade these really interesting characters with interesting personality’s and backstory ( the both of them like seriously Guanyin backstory is so cool) to a villain wile trying to justify your angsty backstory (that are no where near as cool as monkey who fights gods and Person who has 1000 arms and heads to help people in need) for the actual villain”

So who wants to join

Me:*raises my hand*

Ps: sorry if I got Guanyin backstory wrong am not an expert on it.

Haha okay so some critiques on the jttw & associated media western fandom & fandom in general coming up, so please skip this upcoming text wall if you don't want to encounter my undoubtedly ~devastating~ words (i.e. don't like don't read as people love to say, & if I have to be inundated with images of my notp every time I go into the sun wukong tag then I imagine people can be chill with me expressing my opinions & giving people fair warning that I WILL be critiquing common fandom trends, but no need for you to see that if you don’t want to. Cool? Cool.)

-----

PFFFFFTTT oh man there are many times when I feel like signing up for such a protection squad...when it comes to the current western jttw & Sun Wukong fandom I do feel like I'm often swinging at a rapid pace between "well it's fandom & people are allowed to make the stories they want" & "I am once again begging my fellow monkie kid enthusiasts (& sometimes creators) to do more research into the og classic/show it more respect so you can avoid any potentially offensive/off-the-mark misunderstandings of the status & cultural context of the characters in their country of origin (I promise it's super interesting & I can provide you with links to free pdf copies of the entire Yu translation, i.e. the best one ever created, so feel free to ask!) & maybe also stop constantly stripping away all the nuance of Sun Wukong's character for the sake of either making him an entire asshole so your little meow meow can look completely innocent in comparison and/or making the monkey king's entire life & character revolve around said meow meow."

Like I get that fandom's supposed to be a kind of anything-goes environment, but one thing that honestly seems to be true of a lot of fandoms--and the western one for Sun Wukong & co. is certainly not immune from this--is that there often seems to be a kind of monoculturalization at work in what stories are created & what character interpretations are made popular. Across a multitude of fandoms, you frequently see basically nothing but the exact same tropes being made popular & even being insisted on for the canonical work (especially hasty redemption arcs & enemies to lovers these days), the exact same one-dimensional character types that characters from an original work keep getting shoved into, the exact same story beats, etc. And I get it to an extent, as fandom is generally a space where people just make art and fic for fun & without thinking too hard about it & without any pressure. 

This seems to, however, often unfortunately lead to the mentality that it’s your god-given right to do literally whatever you want with literally any cultural figure without even the slightest bit of thought put into their cultural, historical, and even religious context, even (and sometimes especially) when it comes to figures that are really important in a culture outside your own. For such figures--even if you first encounter them in a children’s cartoon--you should be a little more careful with what you do with them than you would with your usual Saturday morning line-up. It of course has to be acknowledged that there exists a whole pile of absolutely ridiculous & cursed pieces of media that are based on Journey to the West & that were produced in mainland China, but for your own education if nothing else I consider it good practice for those of us (myself certainly included) who aren’t part of the culture that produced JTTW to put more thought into how we might want to portray these characters so that at the very least (to pull some things I’ve seen from the jttw western fandom) we’re not turning a goddess of mercy into an evil figure for the sake of Angst(TM), or relegating other important literary figures into the positions of offensive stereotypes, or making broad claims about the source text & original characterizations of various figures that are blatantly untrue, or mocking heavenly deities because of what’s actually your misunderstanding of how immortality works according to Daoist beliefs. Yet while a lot of this is often due to people not even trying to understand the context these figures are coming from, I do want to acknowledge that the journey (lol reference) to understand even a fraction of the original cultural context can be a daunting one, especially since, as I’ve mentioned before, it can be really hard & even next to impossible to find good, accessible, & legitimate explanations in English of how, for example, the relationship between Sun Wukong and the Six-Eared Macaque is commonly interpreted in China & according to the Buddhist beliefs that define the original work. 

That is to say, I do think it’s an unfortunate, if unavoidable, part of any introduction of an original text into a culture foreign to its own for there to be sometimes a significant amount of misinterpretation, mistranslations, and false assumptions. There is, however, a big difference between learning from your honest mistakes, & doubling down on them while dismissing all criticism of your misinterpretation into that abstract category of “fandom drama.” The latter attitude is kind of shitty at best and horrifically entitled at worst. 

Plus, as I’ve discovered, there is a great deal of interest and joy to be drawn from keeping yourself open to learning aspects of these texts & figures that you weren’t aware of! I can say from my own experience that I’ve always really enjoyed & appreciated it when individuals on this site who come from a Chinese background--and who know much more about the cultural context of JTTW than me--have taken the time to explain its various aspects. It often leaves me feeling like woooooaaaahhhhhHHH!!!! as to how amazingly full of nuanced meaning JTTW is like dang no wonder it’s one of China’s Four Great Classical Novels. 

And I guess that right there is the heart of a lot of my own personal frustration and disappointment with the ways that fandoms often approach a literary work or other piece of media...like don’t get me wrong, a lot of the original works a fandom may grow around are just straight-up goofy & everyone’s aware of it & has fun with it, yet the trend of approaching what are often nuanced and multi-layered works in terms of how well they fit and/or can be shoved into pretty cliche ideas of Redemption Arc or Enemies to Lovers or Hero Actually Bad, Villain Actually Good etc...well, it just seems to cheapen and even erase even the possibility of understanding the wonderful complexity or even endearing simplicity that made these works so beloved in the first place. Again, I feel like I need to make it clear that I’m not saying fandom should be a space where people are constantly trying to one-up each other with their hot takes in literary analysis, but it would be nice and even beneficial to allow room for commentary that strives to approach these works in a multi-faceted way, analysis & interpretations that go against the popular fandom beliefs, & criticism of the work or even of fandom trends (yes it is in fact possible to legitimately love something but still be critical of its aspects) instead of immediately attacking people who try to engage in such as just being haters who don’t want anyone to have fun ever (X_X).   

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Anyway, I know I didn’t cover even half of the stuff you brought up in the first place anon, but I don’t want any interested parties to this post to suffer too long through my text wall lol. I was asked to try my hand at illustrating Guanyin, but as with you I’m nowhere near as informed as I should be about her, so I want to do more research on her history and religious importance before I attempt a portrait. I’ll try my best, and do plan to pair that illustration with my own outsider’s attempt to summarize her character. From what little I do know I am in full agreement that her backstory is so incredibly amazing...just the fact that she literally eschewed the bliss of Nirvana to help all beings reach it, and even split herself into pieces in the attempt to do so (with Buddha granting her eleven heads and a thousand arms as a result)...man, I can see why she’s such a beloved & respected deity. 

----

 As for what western fandom commonly does with everyone’s favorite god-fighting primate...I can talk about this at length if there’s interest, but for this post I’ll just say that I guess one lesson from all of this is that for all the centuries that have passed since Journey to the West was first completed, literally no one drawing inspiration from the original tale in the west (lol) has come even slightly close to being able to equal or even capture half the extent of the nuance, complexity, religious, historical, and cultural aspects, and humor that define Wu Cheng'en's story of an overpowered monkey who defied even Buddha.

So thank the heavens we'll always have the original.

[j3tsabyss]

Hollywood Undead iceberg 2 full explanations

Ok I had this in the drafts for awhile and now here is iceberg number 2 explained. Once again feel free to correct me on anything and remember this is a long post

Level 1-Undead: probably their most well known song

Psalms EP: 2018 EP

Myspace: HU got their start on myspace

Dead in Ditches: one of the best known unreleased HU songs

Hats: they all wear hats a lot

Sarcasm: they all also use sarcasm. A lot. Extremely

Funny Claus: FunnyMan being Santa Claus in Christmas in Hollywood. Also there’s this video of Funny Claus

Label issues: HU has had a lot of issues with their labels from past to even present

Level 2-Johnny’s captain hats: basically Johnny’s signature during Swan Songs. He usually wore a white captain hat but there’s possibly more variants (such as the black captain’s hat)

Charlie and Funny’s matching Hawaiian shirts: both Charlie and Funny had matching Hawaiian shirts during 2015/DOTD

Bastard Threads: another clothing line ran by FunnyMan. You might’ve seen their hat with the word “bastard” on it. Once again the clothing line went defunct without explanation

Undead Origins: a comic book released in the Five era that has a rather... odd artstyle. It was on the HU merch store but it’s no longer there for some reason

Danny’s long hair: Danny had long hair at one point. As you can tell he hasn’t grown out his hair since

J-Dog’s foot fetish: a joke but J-Dog references being “turned on” by feet in this interview. He’s likely joking but…

Tony Lovato: Johnny’s friend from the band Mest. Whose band also has their songs featured VERY PROMINENTLY in Highway to Havasu

Johnny and Charlie kissing: there’s at least 2-3 photos of Johnny and Charlie kissing. Absolutely NONE of them have context except for one which was supposedly taken at Charlie’s birthday party. Imagine seeing those pics when you know nothing about HU

Mysterious background vocals: there’s a lot of videos of HU background vocals and there’s times where the background vocals are not one of the HU guys. Of course I can’t think of any specifics right now

Johnny’s shoddy wifi during the first virtual meet and greets: Johnny’s wifi got crappy due to the bomb in Nashville that was a few days before the virtual meet and greets. This resulted in Johnny not being present for some meet and greets because of his wifi. In my case I was lucky to have him in my virtual meet and greet tho his square was rather blurry at times. And then again he was CLEANING

Level 3-pre-AT FunnyMan skipping an interview to read comic books in the back room: self explanatory but I can’t remember the interview this was sorry. I’ll update this with a link to the interview if someone gives me it

Funny deleting all old Instagram posts in 2018: Funny deleted all of his past instagram in New Years 2018 for some reason. There’s still no explanation to why that happened

Funny’s old instagram profile pic: for a time Funny’s original Instagram profile pic was a pic of himself with a meme-like font that said “FUN D.M.C!” Or something like that. You can see that in old screenshots

Viral Tiger: Charlie’s gay white tiger plush that he wanted to go viral. Despite the fact Viral Tiger was last seen in a dump truck he still had a impact on the HU fanbase godspeed Viral Tiger

Freej3t shirt: some shirt of Swan Songs mask Johnny with a text saying that. I honestly don’t know why this shirt was made but both J3T and Funny have worn it. It could be connected to that time Johnny got arrested in 2009 but I’m not 100% sure

HU making typos all the time: credit to Dove for this one. EVERY HU guy has made a lot of typos. I think it’s the most common with Johnny because of his big fingers. Or finfers rather

Charlie’s mullet: Charlie had a mullet in 2014/2015 then he later cut it. Rip Charlie’s mullet

Johnny’s obsession with Spencer Charnas: joke entry where it references two random comments Johnny made on Spencer’s posts

Freak Nasty: Johnny was featured on this song back in 2016 and at least to me it’s somewhat hilarious

“Wrap a rope” lyric: lyric from Dead Bite that gets misinterpreted as “wrap a wrap” in its own lyric video

Hollywood Undead Swan Songs era documentary: Hollywood Undead - The Undead Story was a documentary about the HU guys during the Swan Songs era

HU4Life (tumblr): a fan tumblr that had literally every kind of photo of all HU guys. They were pretty popular but at one point they ended up being involved in discourse where they put their url over photos that clearly weren’t theirs. There’s even a post where someone messaged them about that and they pretty much said they didn’t give a shit about that. And then I don’t remember what happened next but they’re deactivated now so

Level 4-Daisy the chicken: for some reason Kurlzz had a pet chicken named Daisy. I remember seeing snaps of Daisy and there’s some pics of her with him but other than that I don’t think we’ve ever seen this chicken again

That random high pitched “kIcK iT” in House Party: I’m surprised nobody asked me about this one. Basically during the Another Way Out intermission there’s this random “kICK IT” that you can hear and it’s just, it’s just not Danny who says that (he later says “kick it” himself). So basically there’s just a really random “kick it” that came from like outta nowhere. I posted a video of that but uhhh it got copyright claimed on here so .-.

Danny’s actual birth year: Danny’s birth year has been given as either 1982 or 1985. While google says 1982, 1985 is the birth year given on the site famousbirthdays(.)com and it’s also a common year that’s seen on Danny Rose Supply merch. I think his birth year likely is 1982 but who fricking knows

Funny and Danny can draw: Danny has posted some of his own drawings before and he apparently drew some of the art in Notes from the Underground booklet. There’s a IG story from awhile ago where Funny was drawing on a ipad and he actually did good and there is a drawing he did himself that he posted on instagram before. Also he done the art for Charlie’s song lil Tim McGraw (not out yet)

Charlie’s snapchat: Charlie had a snapchat and he’s even verified as a celebrity snap or something but he pretty much never ever used it

“Whoeuce?”: kinda a joke but there was a screenshot of someone asking the HU facebook about Deuce and the response was that

All HU guys except for maybe Danny have criminal records: most of the HU guys basically have committed a crime at least once. Johnny said before he’s considered a felon. In the case of Danny he never has committed a crime I don’t think but in my opinion he probably has once. Just once

Hollywood Land Magazine (HLM): the HLM in J-Dog’s username stands for that. But the thing is I have no idea what exactly is this magazine. They have a instagram but it’s been inactive for like years and they used to have a website but it’s also defunct. So basically Idk what’s with J-Dog keeping HLM in his username (just like how Johnny has co in his username despite 3tearsco being defunct now)

Dark Places was written about their record label: tbh this is a vague one because I actually got this from tvtropes. At least what tvtropes says is allegedly Dark Places was written about their record label but that kinda makes me wonder where did they get that. Tho tbh it would make a lot of sense if it really was about their record label considering Johnny’s and Charlie’s verses

3 Pill Morning’s Never Look Back originally featured Charlie Scene: there was a time a band called 3 Pill Morning originally was gonna feature Charlie on their song Never Look Back. Of course later the band announced that Charlie isn’t going to be on that song but he’s credited a songwriting credit. I think once again HU’s label probably prevented Charlie from this. Also I guess this would’ve been Charlie’s first feature if he was able to sing on it

Carly and Brittini: both exes of Johnny. Thing is there’s no confirmation about their surnames and there’s no pics of how they looked either. In fact Brittini is only known due to the fact he tattooed her name on his chest (well he covered it up eventually). Meanwhile in the case of Carly she ended up standing out because Johnny in this video already reacts to a fan that just happens to be named Carly and he mentions she broke up with him. So make some of that if you will

Level 5-Vanessa gave away her wedding dress after she got married: I can’t remember where I heard this from originally but basically after Vanessa got married she sold her wedding dress back. I don’t really recall if there was a reason why she did it but it’s actually bought by a fan now

Johnny was on TMZ: honestly I’m surprised literally no one asked me about this because I could go on about this. Anyway in March 2019 Johnny was once on TMZ about the myspace deleting tracks thing and gave his thoughts on it and all that. But the slightly peculiar thing about him being on TMZ was he got called “THE FRONTMAN” of Hollywood Undead. And then at least to me since then I felt like there was a sudden increase of news outlets referring to Johnny as “the frontman” which was something I never once seen before UNTIL TMZ said that. Also the only other time TMZ ever reported on Hollywood Undead was that jumping incident so yea there you go sorry that I rambled so much

Who runs the official Hollywood Undead accounts?-self explanatory. I’ve seen fans wonder about who runs the HU accounts. Most think either J-Dog or FunnyMan but it’s never been confirmed. It’s definitely not Johnny because he said himself before that it’s definitely not him running the official HU account

Johnny knows about Love Sick Radio: self explanatory. Johnny knows about one of the DOTD rejects and as a lost media person I was enthusiastic to know that Johnny remembered the DOTD rejects

[mings]

Some context...

...in relation to that last post. This is a lo-o-o-o-ong read, so feel free to skip right by if catharsis bores you.

This starts way before I joined tumblr; in fact, long before tumblr was even a thing.

Twenty years ago, we lived in a huge house backing onto the English Channel. We moved there from Scotland, which turned out to be (probably) the biggest mistake of my life. 

Within nine months of buying the place, the company I’d moved to work for nearly folded. I and most of the workforce were made redundant. That set in motion an existential battle with our mortgage insurer, which refused to pay out because I “must have known” when taking out the insurance. (I didn’t, and they eventually caved in after destroying my credit record, but that’s another story.)

Work wasn’t immediately available; none that would at least cover the bills. We got inventive, wrote a business plan, obtained finance & bought a franchise. It went pretty well for the first three years, but we had to bust a gut to make the required income. It wasn’t easy. Eventually, the franchise operator messed up relations with several key players in our insurance market. Within three months, we lost 75% of our revenue. I had to close the workshop & find part time work to make ends meet. Ultimately, we decided to close the business, sell the house and downsize to something more manageable.

What’s the relevance of this? We tried hard to keep our precarious financial state form the kids. Maybe we didn’t do as well as we thought. Our son had already become withdrawn. He’d fallen in with a group of local lads about whom we had grave misgivings. Of course, there was no discussing it. We were “over-reacting” and unreasonable. It was around that time that he decided to jack in his education. I couldn’t criticise; I’d done the same. I pulled some strings and got him a job at our local Royal Mail delivery office.

We moved to our new place. It was a stressful move. Trying to fit into a house that was literally half the size was never going to be an easy task. One afternoon, our son came home from work and soon after announced he was going out. “See you later.” Only we didn’t. He didn’t come home that night. Nor did he turn up for work the next day. Nor the day after. And nor the day after that. Within a week he was written up for unauthorised absence. We had no way of contacting him. His case was heard in the following weeks. I could offer no mitigation. He was sacked for abandonment of duty. That tag that means he’ll never work for them again. 

We still had no idea where he was. We only knew he was alive because we met a couple of his friends who couldn’t believe he’d not been in touch. Still no word. My wife was in shreds; I suspect any of you who are parents can identify with that. I was alternating between trying to prop her up and stay on top of my job, all the while under a constant barrage of barracking (Oh, we don’t mean anything by it, it’s just banter....)

About three months in I’d had enough. Sleep was a scarce resource so I rose at the crack of dawn and started on a trip, rousting one after another of the friends and acquaintances that I knew, following leads until finally I tracked him down to a sordid bedsit several towns and 40 miles away. At least he answered the door and looked sheepish. He offered no explanation or apology, and has never done so to date. He refused to come back home, but promised to keep in touch. 

We know he bounced from one sofa to another in the next few months. He spent time in some of the worst areas in the county for drug abuse. He fell into a relationship with a girl that looked promising initially and subsequently fell apart. Later, he surfaced in another town with another girl whom he subsequently married. She often spoke of his irascible temperament and moods. Ultimately the marriage was doomed; she was younger than him, found a new interest and moved out. One wonders now how much of that was her and how much she’d put up with before voting with her feet.

He’s stumbled from one financial crisis to another. Money just evaporates. It’s as though adulting is a mystery beyond his reach. I’ve lost count of the times that we’ve thrown money at him and I don’t want to even think about how much. It’s literally thousands, always a loan, yet he never, ever pays back.

He left his job. That was inevitable too; he worked for his ex-father-in-law’s company. Heaven only knows how long the writing was on the wall; it was pretty swift once she left. He drifted again. He chose to live in a squalid flat with no heating rather than move back with us. Absolutely his choice, not ours. 

We moved to Scotland. That meant all his stuff had to go into storage. Quick rewind - he moved all his stuff to ours when he gave up the house he & his ex lived in, but refused to move back home. I had to rent a storage unit to make space for all his gear & when we moved I shifted all his gear into the store, gave him the key & told him I’d paid three months up front; after that it was his to deal with. Apparently, he surrendered the store and moved all his gear into the flat...

Fast forward to a couple of months back. He’d run out of options at the flat. His flatmate was “really difficult” to live with. His ex had moved away, taking their son with her. He had nothing left to stay for and, surprise, he’d lost his job again so he couldn’t afford the rent. 

My wife convinced me we should give him one last shot, citing his fragile mental health. I agreed on the strict understanding that we are simply no longer in a position to support him. He assured us he’d be applying for work as soon as he got here. We rarely see him before midday...

We agreed the end of the first week in March. We knew he’d arrive with a ton of stuff so we had (again) to create space. That’s infinitely more difficult now we’re running a B&B, but we set to the task. Suddenly, two weeks sooner than we’d agreed, he rented a van and was on his way. No discussion, no warning. We only found out because he put something on FB. 

Finally, after trying to reach him most of the day, he phoned. Whilst we should have been relieved, instead we were treated to a barrage of abuse because all the petrol stations were shut. Of course they were. It was in a national lockdown and why would they stay open when there was no one on the roads? JFC, who embarks on a journey in sub-zero temperatures across some of the most inhospitable country in the UK without enough fuel? With a six year old child. Yes, not only did he forget to tell us about his change of plans, he forgot to tell us he was bringing his son too.

We drove south through the night for two hours to find him somewhere in the Cairngorms where he’d run out of fuel. No fuel meant no heaters at 1500 feet in deep snow. The ambient temperature was -5ºC/23ºF & with wind chill that was probably around -10ºC/14ºF. We found him & refuelled his van. No thanks, just another barrage of abuse, because he was tired. We took his son into our car & drove the two hours back in near silence. I think we knew then that it was an awful predictor of what was to come.

We’ve had row after row. He accused me of being passive-aggressive in the last. He actually ticks all the boxes for passive-aggressive behaviour. I’ve never been tagged with that before; if anything I’m too forthright, blunt even. That’s a failing to which I will admit. If by that he meant that I don’t talk about the elephant in the room, it’s only because we fear it’ll lead to another explosion.

He never saw the damage that we sustained during our fostering years. He was never there. Yet here we are, experiencing flashbacks to those traumatic incidents; the parallels are exact. We have the benefit of years of training. We recognise manipulative behaviour when we see it - we were trained by some of the nations best exponents - and we know divisive tactics implicitly.  What he doesn’t know is that he will succeed only in pushing us closer together and alienating himself even further.

There are clear and well-documented links between cannabis and mental health issues. He is allowing the drug to determine his life choices. Although I may be wrong, I think he’s cultivating skunk, which is nothing like the weed that circulated in my youth. The smell that pervades our hallway is instantly evocative of high strength Afghan resin. It’s also going to be acutely difficult to eradicate before we’re due to open.

We’ve endured 20 years of this treatment. I know that even if we have a ritual burning, it will only be a matter of time before we’re back here again. We’re old. We’re tired. And we’ve worked our socks off (and still do) to achieve what we have. Maybe somewhere along the way we missed something. But I’m at a stage where I’m so far beyond this I just want it to stop.