#lol this is so foolishly long i am sorry anon

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

oh god you have foolishly provided me a chance to dump the contains of my soul and heart out in the open through throwing all my favorite songs to listen to and think of Muriel at you in this essay i WILL

ok first i know its on his official playlist already BUT i feel a need to emphasize just how much it is ABsoLUTEly HIS song most of any of them: drumroll please::: 👏Wolf👏 by 👏First Aid Kit👏 any muriel simp reading this right now i am pounding you with my brainwaves of intent to go listen to it Right Now and Read those Lyrics and just try to tell me its not literally about him god if could draw id be doing such a cool animatic about it but alas it dies with me anyway WAYWARD WINDS!!! A VOICE THAT SINGS!!!! OF A!! FORGOTTEN!!!! LAND!!!!!!! SEE IT FALL!!!! CHILD OF WAR!!!! OH LEND!!!! A MENDING HAND!!!!!!!!!!! i believe ive made myself clear kbgxkyhfhkvd

https://youtu.be/6PmuuiXgIZE

i dont know if links work on anon but i had to try gjzghfdtomfg our wedding song straight up this is in my language and also like. about a girl but the words are easy to switch around so it fits lol it basically just goes like "you just had to know (to do something? like in a you know how to work me way lmao linguistics hard), that i cant forget you at all/i forgot my mother and father/my sister and my brother but i cant goshdarn forget you" and i dont know i probably cant translate that so it hits right but god its absolutely perfect to me cause like I DIDNT! FORGET HIM!! MC REMEMBERS HIM AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT!!!! EVEN WITH THE CURSE I DONT KNOW LET ME HAVE THIS ITS TOO GD ROMANTIC I CANT BELIEVE HE GOT ME ACTING LIKE THIS AGHGF im sorry for yelling i got excited

NEXT a classic we gotta pepper some hozier on this thing so here goes Nothing Fucks With My Baby cause thats my ultimate serenade for him in my head especially the "if i was born/as a blackthorn tree/id wanna be held by you/felled by you/fuel the pyre of your enemies" part as it perfectly describes my sentiments towards my man: hes my bby i will kill for him👁️👁️

theres Always Forever by Cults, i dont have that much to rant about it i just always think of him when i play it lol theres hozier again It Will Come Back which is on his official playlist too but i play around with perspectives in this one cause i put myself in the "it" position, like. im chasing here bro👀 oh my god i have got to shut up this is entirely tmi

https://youtu.be/mLycEitwJCA

i made a whole post about this one its a whole thing lmao long story short muriel on a murderous revenge quest au MOVING ON

OH i remembered another folky one

https://youtu.be/NrgwIo8GWDI

its SUCH a banger and i love it and it goes like i saw a Wolf a Fox a Rabbit so i just imprinted on it with Muriel Asra and MC respectively cause i dont know i had a phase where i decided mcs spirit animal is a rabbit cause of that scrapped introduction chapter with the labyrinth thing i guess idk im scrambling here ngfsfugc anyway it slaps listen to it and imagine a bangin tavern party and maybe youll calm down /meme

ohh ok we're on a folksy roll thats probably because i just mostly associate old timey sounding songs with arcana in general lmao i mean its like middle ages over there right

https://youtu.be/t9PUlNQOZ8o

this ones in my language again i know annoying but i found a translated version look!!! AND theres a bunch of people correcting the mistakes in the comments too if you were wanting to get deeper into research hkdggjyecb and its white voice style so depending on your taste it might sound silly but yeah this ones got some fitting lines too tying up with Murmur and its so cute and so cheesy and hopeful and sappy and it cheers me up aw

oh my god i wonder if anyone gets this far reading this ever if youre seeing this its probably during a scroll roll slow just enough to make out the letters Hello godspeed you continue on your journey with my blessings cause im noT EVEN DONE YET HAHAHAHAHAA

Motha Motha! Problems! nuff said

https://youtu.be/artn9fErRp8

this ones gonna take explaining gjxgkhpgz but maybe not that much

https://youtu.be/_h9V94b4R2g

i just had a eureka moment one day and so another animatic concept to take to my grave was born lmao but mostly its just playing into Muriels & MCs "nO i cOULd hUrt YoU Go aWaY" + "ayo hold my flower ima kill them real quick" dynamic theyve got heehee like the whole "~Dangerous~ ooh that sounds good ya" bit and also yes im in your house no im not leaving jgdghkfhgd and like i just imagined the song fitting the vibe of the whole murder lucio quest road trip with MC all "yo we Getting this shit DONE dont fuck around w my crew" (The Crew: feral milf & bear with anxiety) AND LIKE i always get to the "party like we all gon die tonight" basedrop part with the whole visual montage of us finding khamgalai and then the graveyard fight and Absolutely Everything Going to Shit and the mood shifting to "well fuck maybe we do not in fact got this" but its good we kick lucio all the way to hell at the end we good💕

https://youtu.be/ZxWiG6UJr0w

MMMMMMM THIS ONEE AWW im literally just scrolling through my endless unsorted playlist to find these gdiyyfgfz this ones just cute it doesnt really relate to anything at all actually when i think about it but its nice so here

https://youtu.be/6FEDrU85FLE

.....nope i got nothing on this one just plop it right in here

oh my god. its over. weve done it. we're free

man i hope those links work. definitely not on mobile lol whatever

Hi! and oh, WOW, this was one of the most delightfully wild essays I've ever read for Muriel and I loved it. Especially describing the dynamic on the trip south as "feral milf & bear with anxiety" XD

I've found that links don't work in asks, even with the media option turned on, so I'll include them below. Thanks for your suggestions, anon, I'll put them on the tag! ^.^

[softlyblues]

Hi! i read your story if we who are left and i thought it was rly good. one thing i wondered was why Moist is always picked as patrician after Veterinari if you knew anything about that?

hi, thank you! it’s a good question, because i think most discworld people had the idea individually and then went online to find that everyone else was on the patrician moist train. i spent all day thinking about this, actually, and i have an answer that’s definitely more complicated than you were looking for. 

i think there are three and a half people that vetinari might realistically consider as his successor, because in order to succeed vetinari you need to see the man behind the myth, and very few people do. sam vimes, rufus drumknott, and moist von lipwig are the three, and william de worde is the half. (every night i cry with the lack of anymore newspaper books.) 

so lets look at those options! sam first. vimes & vetinari have perhaps the most public relationship, and vimes is definitely the person vetinari feels most comfortable showing weakness/vulnerability around. for example, in feet of clay with the Poisoning That Sparked A Thousand Fanfics, and in men at arms with the gonne shooting, vetinari is both physically and mentally vulnerable - to a really incredible extent - for vimes. in both instances, vetinari’s life is in his hands. in the fifth elephant, snuff, jingo, and thud!, although vetinari’s life is not physically in vimes’ hands, he is very explicit in trusting his reputation and the future of ankh-morpork to vimes, much to vimes’ consternation. 

however, vimes would not be an ideal successor. there’s age, of course - night watch shows us vetinari is at most five years older than vimes, as he is a senior assassin student where sam is entering his first job, and so vimes would be retiring at the same time as vetinari. but more important than that there is vimes’ attitude to leadership and power. sybil, when telling sam that he has risen to the top, gets the reply “so does the scum”, and vimes is always deeply and intensely uncomfortable with the privilege he wields over others. he delegates to carrot as often as he can, and always always takes the most dangerous position; look at thud!, or jingo, or. fuck it. look at every single book. vimes is a commander, but he really, really doesn’t want to be one, and he’s very uncomfortable with the inequality in treatment that comes with holding power. 

okay, now drumknott! imo, the title of vetinari’s terrier is wasted on sam; drumknott is the true “loyal dog” figure. in the truth, despite being the subject of the assault and witnessing it with his own eyes, he is the only character to openly deny that vetinari stole/tried to kill him. he is “very shaken” by the idea that this could happen. unseen academicals shows us vetinari is comfortable showing weakness in front of him, with his admission that he is drunk, and we know that drumknott is his sounding-board in many little scenes throughout the series. so far, so good. drumknott is probably a dark clerk, and almost definitely attended the assassins guild, so there’s no lack of intelligence or knowledge of the city. 

but drumknott lacks one thing, which is creativity. unseen academicals shows us this crack, the whole scene with vetinari asking him what he would do if presented with a ball on the street, and his single-minded interest in stationery. he also hero-worships vetinari too much; he can’t succeed as patrician because of his own perceived lack of what makes vetinari special. 

(i want to quickly look at william before i go to moist. if we had a second newspaper book i firmly believe william would be as beloved as moist is, but as it is we don’t. ;-; the key thing between william & vetinari is that william lacks a loving father figure, and in the truth vetinari shows a paternal indulgence towards the newspaper and movable type that he doesn’t show to other innovations like moving pictures/music with rocks in/previous attempts at a printing press. when william uncovers the truth, vetinari is pleased, but not surprised. william has potential, but that’s sadly all he has - vetinari is definitely a father figure for him, though.) 

so moist! moist is a criminal, a rogue, and completely untrustworthy. he is more talented at manipulation than any other character on the disc apart from vetinari and possibly granny, and he can balance plans on a knife-edge better than anyone except vetinari. if he isn’t presented with a constant life-threatening challenge, he grows so bored he starts breaking into his own house. he has contingencies upon just-in-cases upon getaways hidden all over the city, and like vetinari, is very skilled at pretending to be someone else; or at blending into the background. at the time of raising steam moist has at least three full-time jobs, and is looking for more. vetinari several times makes comments about the state of taxes in ankh-morpork and other public services that he thinks moist would manage well over. 

crucially, vetinari does show weakness in front of moist, albeit of a different kind. with vimes and drumknott its physical weakness, but with moist, it’s civic weakness; vetinari hands him the banks, the post office, the trains, the clacks, because he (vetinari) can’t handle them. so while vetinari trusts vimes and drumknott with his person, he trusts moist with something he values a lot more than his body; he trusts him with the inner workings of his city. looking at age, too, moist is described as early-middle-aged in raising steam, definitely a great deal younger than a vetinari who is entering old age. (it’s been brought up to me that he is 26 [provided he doesn’t lie] in going postal, so assuming 10-15 years have passed between postal and raising steam that puts him at a perfect age for the job) in other words, moist is a perfect age to take over as leader of a city-state. 

vetinari trusts moist with his city in a way he doesn’t trust vimes; he trusts moist explicitly, instead of the implicit trust he gives sam. he knows sam will always be there, because sam has built the system of checks and balances that makes up an almost-perfect watch; he knows moist will always be trying to improve, and that moist has that creativity and imagination that a leader needs to be successful. 

sorry this was so long lmao. but in conclusion: lord moist von lipwig for patrician, and i have a big bang fic i should be working on instead of this

[jinkicake]

Soaked

Iwaizumi, Kita, Terushima reacting to their s/o squirting. 

Iwaizumi Hajime x Reader

Kita Shinsuke x Reader

Terushima Yuuji x Reader

Enjoy, Anon~~ I usually am really fair with my writing and make each scenario and shit relatively the same amount of words but,,,,,,, today..... I was not able to that..... I apologize. Anyway, I am never going to stop writing about getting eaten out by Terushima so take that. 

SMUT // NSFW

WC- 1,645

~~~

Iwaizumi Hajime

Truthfully, I was only going to write Kita and Terushima…. I had the entire writing done and then I went to Tiktok for a break and saw a beautiful clip of my baby boy Hajime and then decided I must write for him

So,,,, here we are. THE Iwaizumi Hajime who has everyone falling in love on spot, the original hottie, the best ace who I would destroy the entire world for, my sweet baby boy

Iwaizumi is so shy and blushy even though we know damn well his dick would change your entire life, he tries his hardest to be gentle with you but he is still oh so soft

Iwaizumi is the type to go feral if you squirt, only because the idea of it is so hot to him

Like if you squirt for him,,,, Iwaizumi is going to have your legs bent over his shoulder before you can even blink as he fucks you for hours

Have we ever discussed the stamina that Iwaizumi has? I think that out of all the haikyuu characters he has some of the best stamina like this bitch is simply not quitting after one round 

I know boys suck and can only cum like once in one sitting but NOT Iwaizumi,,,, he can cum at least three times… if you can keep up then he has no problem unleashing his true potential 

Iwaizumi Hajime. Quirk : Fat C0ck. Wrong anime sorry 

I trailed off,,,, didn’t I? 

Anyway, Iwaizumi would seriously leave you dickmatized, and whenever you want to squirt homie pulls up like dw bbyg I gotchu and scene.

“Oh, Hajime~“ You moan loudly as his hips dig up into yours. At first, Iwaizumi had you on all fours, that was until he decided he needed to feel you. Now, one of his strong arms is wrapped around your waist to hold you against his chest while his hand is holding the front of your throat. Every now and then he will cut off your flow of oxygen, just to hear that sinful whine leave your lips. 

Iwaizumi Hajime does not mess around when he fucks you. 

His strong body feels so hard underneath your touch that you can’t help the way you press back into him, you love feeling Iwaizumi because it seems like every single touch of his is meaningful. 

“Right there, ah,” Iwaizumi tilts his hand down to rub circles into your clit. He always tries to be soft with his touches, he tries so hard but it only lasts so long before his fingers begin to move at a pace you can’t seem to understand.

“Keep squeezing around me, sweet girl, just like that.” Iwaizumi chuckles lowly, which breaks off into a moan at the way you clench around him. His hand squeezes the sides of your throat and one particular thrust inside of you makes you see stars. 

Iwaizumi looks over your shoulder, watching with greedy eyes the way your hips grind against him. How you so desperately try to meet each stroke of his cock into your tight cunt. His fingers are stimulating your clit so furiously that you aren’t able to hold back.

You completely soak his hard cock, the deep sprays paint his hand in your essence and Iwaizumi pinches your throat harder. 

“You like that, don’t you? My filthy girl likes to be choked?” He asks lowly, not once letting up his thrusts or the assault on your clit. “Let me see you do that again.”

Kita Shinsuke

Kita is just so…. Wow, over the last month I discovered this character I fell in love yet again,,,,

I wasn’t expecting this and I genuinely thought I was going to be a Suna bitch but I proved myself wrong…. Something about Kita’s personality gives me such a sense of security LOL

Yes, hello, I am back with the Kita Daddy™ agenda,,,,,, I won’t let it go

He’d be so shocked when you first squirt for him,,, like this mf’s jaw will drop and he will just stare at you like holy shit 

I think the messiness of it all would really turn him on like it will make his dick sooooo hard

Bruh Kita would find out all the ways to make you squirt so he can see you do it again, this mf is going to put you in so many positions 

It’s like a science experiment, how can Kita make his s/o squirt for him? 

Please, Daddy Kita will want to fuck you so hard like he will ache for you…. He wants to cum so badly

I think you could genuinely have Kita in the palm of your hand in this instance, his overall need for you will seriously cloud his mind and you could do anything you want with him

But you know Daddy Kita will only let you get so far~ POWER BOTTOM KITA 

“Ah, baby slow down.” Kita moans as his eyes flutter shut, with the way you are bouncing on his lap there is no way he is going to last long. His large hands grip your waist tightly and he tries to hold you flush against him, anything to break his focus on your tight warm walls sucking him in. “If you keep doing this, Daddy won’t be able to last.”

The warning goes straight to your clit and you giggle foolishly, a loving smile appearing on your face as you stare down at your boyfriend who is withering underneath you. 

“But if feels so good, Daddy.” You tell him and moan loudly when his cock rubs against that spongy part inside of you. “Especially, right. there.” You whimper and toss your head back, rubbing your clit against his harsh pubic hairs. The sensation feels too good and you eagerly reach down to relieve that tension. Kita snaps his eyes open and pushes your wrist away. 

“No.” He warns and you bounce in his lap angrily, much like a little temper tantrum. Kita growls lightly before bringing his fingers down to your clit, using four digits he rubs your little pearl back and forth as you grind into his lap. 

Kita can never be soft with you, he loves to please his baby girl and will do anything he needs to do to accomplish it. He has never had such a lack of control over a situation but, he can’t find it within himself to hate it.

“Yes, y-yes,” You hiccup and arch your back, letting go all over his hard cock as you squirt in his lap. The liquid sprays all over his abdomen and hand, a sight that Kita never wants to forget. Kita purposely moves his fingers faster to get you to squirt all over him, letting you completely drench his skin.

“Keep going baby, I know you have more.”

Terushima Yuuji

You know,,,, YOU KNOW I HAD TO DO TERUSHIMA HAHHAH >:-) He is just so damn fine 

Can we acknowledge the piercing for a moment like I know there is no reason to do so but,,,,, have you thought about Terushima’s TONGUE piercing today? Oh, you haven’t? Well… now you have </3

Terushima will literally rearrange your guts, destroy your insides, his dick will cause you to go through an identity crisis ….. too much?

When you squirt for Terushima he is going to become the cockiest mf ever

He will quite literally almost cum in his pants, he just seems like the type to think it is the hottest thing ever

He’d want to see you do it again and again and again, please he is going to work your body

If you squirt while he is eating you out,,,, Terushima will fall in love.

Please he is already so arrogant and this will fuel this ego to a point of no return 

He will act like he solved world peace or something like he did the most amazing thing ever….

I mean giving your s/o who you love more than life itself a mind-blowing orgasm does deserve a reward 

“That’s it, give into to me.” Terushima chuckles against your clit, the vibrations of his moan send your hips flying up into his face. Terushima has had you like this for hours, he has been eating you out for so long you don’t even know how he can even stay focused anymore. His chin is soaked and shines in the light with your release, the entire sight makes you feel hot inside. 

When Terushima pokes his tongue out to wet his bottom lip, the silver piercing catches in the light and you can only think about how badly you want him to eat you out for another handful of hours. Terushima spoils you, he really does and it’s to the point that you sometimes wonder just how deep his feelings are for you. Not like you’ll ever speak up on it. You don’t have enough time to continue your thoughts because Terushima begins his ministrations once again. 

Two slender fingers prod at your entrance and you whine in frustration, you just want him to stuff you full even if it is just with his fingers.

“Yuuji, fuck me!” You grip his dyed hair and yank it harshly causing the boy to nip at your clit, the feeling against your swollen bud sends your eyes rolling to the back of your head. At the exact moment, he thrusts two of his fingers up into you, shallowly curling along your walls and hooking on a spot he knows too well. 

Much to his delight, and utter surprise, you cum again. It happens so fast this time that he barely had to touch you. However, what surprises him the most is the way you squirt on his fingers and even on his chin. Terushima doesn’t even know how to react but he continues to thrust his fingers, just to hear that squelching noise echo throughout the room. 

“You are the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.” His voice is low and he speaks in amazement, even you’re too shocked to say anything, because that has never happened before. “I’m never letting you go (Y/N)."

~

Taglist.

@yams046 @why-am-i-sad-and-sleepy @xhanjisungiex @xxashshs @chaosamu @angelkogane @augustdearly @kunimwuah  @lovellucy @osamuonigiri @pearzuko @darksxder

[mmikmmik2]

If you were to sort the Infinity Train cast(s) into the Major Arcana a la the Persona games, which Arcana would you give everyone?

anon I had SOOOOO much fun thinking about this, thank you so much for sending me this. I sorted all the major characters, plus a few other entries, based on a mix of Arcana symbolism, Persona series character archetypes, and general vibes. I came up with answers I feel pretty good about for all but four of the Arcana. (Was really tempted to say Strength is every human character who doesn't board the train because they can handle their problems on their own lol.) This is going to be a long-winded post, so I thought I’d post just the list as an image (which hopefully won’t be too blurry!) rather than wrestle with Tumblr formatting trying to make a short list, and put a big text wall under the readmore talking more about my picks.

If this list does end up illegible, the same info is under the readmore as text! Plus some characters for Magician, Strength, Justice, and Death that I didn’t want to add to the “official” list because they’re more based on headcanon. (Although my reasoning for some of the “official” picks is pretty weak lol.)

One-One as 0. The Fool

Oh my gosh, what am I?

IT is great at fleshing out character backstories and families, so One-One at the beginning of S1 is one of the few characters who really feels like a blank slate. He's got a lot of his baggage back by the end of the season, and I think One and One-One are more similar than they seem at first glance, but S1 does seem to have been very formative for One-One and how he thinks about what he's supposed to be doing and how he relates to other people. So it does kind of feel like his fool's journey.

Alrick Timmens as I. The Magician

The magician begins the journey... by beefing it on a dirt bike, dying, and sending his wife flying off the deep end. Rip.

Alrick was an engineer like Amelia, so I could see him suiting some of the themes of the Magician, like conscious thought and manifesting ideas. His apparent playfulness and insecurity are similar to the Magician characters in Persona.

Kez as II. The High Priestess

“We can’t make this decision for you, Kez.” “You know what to do.”

I thought really hard about making Kez the Magician because just like every Magician since Persona 3, she's dumb, horny, and insecure dlkjasfdkl

(and also her showing up at the start of the story arc and being helpful but also super needy is very Magician)

But the idea of "intuition" really does suit Kez. Sometimes her intuition is as bad as her conscious reasoning, but I think that's a lot because she's so confused about what happened with Jeremy, and Morgan making Kez feel like she did a bad thing by helping him.

Tuba as III. The Empress

She made me feel like I was warm all the time.

Tuba's a mom. Sorry, this one's not that deep, haha.

Simon Laurent as IV. The Emperor

Highest number! I'm the leader now.

Simon has a lot of issues, but the one that felt the most prominent to me was his unhealthy relationship with power, authority, dominance, and rules. Another quote I considered using here was what he said in Grace's memory of meeting Amelia: "I never thought I'd get to see the Conductor with my own eyes. He's perfect! Everything finally makes sense again." In his emotional crisis, he thought everything could be fixed just by the existence of a huge, scary, powerful, male authority figure, even if they weren't doing anything helpful or informative.

Atticus as V. The Hierophant

I like to think that our stones are sturdy and handsome, like the Corgis that crafted them.

Atticus is a figure of traditional authority who deeply loves the history, society, and culture of his people. He often provides spiritual wisdom and encourages Tulip to get out of her own head and engage with the world around her. Also in Persona, Hiero is the Dad Arcana so it's very funny to me (a) to make the little dog be Hiero and (b) that the little dog really does have the strongest Wholesome Dad Energy of the whole cast.

Jesse Cosay as VI. The Lovers

Don't tell me what to do. I'm not going to be a part of anything like this, on or off the train.

This was my first and easiest pick lol, Jesse is sooooo Lovers. Like, the focus on choice and personal values and relationships? Yep, that's Jesse. It works on an "actual meaning of the Arcana" level and a "vibes with the Persona characters" level lol... popular, upbeat, and having such an identity crisis.

Lake as VII. The Chariot

I'm my own person, who is getting off this train!

I don't know if Chariot captures all the ways Lake grew over the course of S2, but I feel like they had the most externally focused conflict of all the IT characters, which suits Chariot. They've been fighting to stake out their personhood from start to finish, and they took action and used their willpower to achieve that goal. Also they have at least a little jock energy which is a prereq for Chariot tbh.

Frank as VIII. Strength

I dunno, I kinda imagine him as a simple man and easily underestimated, but with a lot of heart. The Cat may say they're keeping things casual but I don't think she'd take him with her on her private vacation unless he had some kind of inner toughness that would let him stand toe-to-toe with her.

Morgan as IX. The Hermit

I need to be alone right now. Kez... maybe... we can talk later.

I like that Morgan embodies toxic self-isolation and stonewalling and rejection, but that she seems to be moving towards the positive aspects of Hermit and taking some time to calm down and process and think. I like it when characters can embody the best and worst of their Arcana.

Tulip Olsen as X. The Wheel of Fortune

We have to adapt to the changes in our lives. It's the only way things can get better.

Tulip has a lot of themes and conflicts, but this one is a clear standout as the most important. I also like it for Tulip because, while she has to handle a lot of difficult and even traumatic situations, some of the change that challenges her isn't as unambiguously bad as e.g. the death of a loved one. It really is just change itself she's struggling with, and that's Fortune babey. Also, from the perspective of the train itself and lots of other characters, by reversing Amelia and One-One's positions again and changing how One-One administrates the train, Tulip is the one giving the wheel a spin. That's fun.

Lucy as XI. Justice

One of my friends once described the Justice characters in Persona as "the ones the player character is ultimately accountable towards", and I like to think of Lucy as kind of being that for Grace (...since Hazel has excused herself). Lucy is the Apex kid we see Grace interact with the most, the first Apex kid Grace admitted to herself that she had harmed (see Grace very briefly showing distress and then regret when Jesse points the harpoons at his face and she stops him), and the first person to confront Grace when she came home in The New Apex.

Min-Gi Park as XII. The Hanged Man

I don't know if we'll sell a single album, but we'll figure that out as we go.

Min-Gi sacrifices his "realistic", "sensible" goals for a more personally (spiritually, even?) enriching life that's beyond his control and outside of the expected norm. Like the Hanged Man, who dangles foolishly upside-down, but as a deliberate choice and in a state of serenity and enlightenment. I also think this arcana suits a reading of Min-Gi's character development as starting off going slower as a way to stall and live in denial, but then going slower with deliberation. Compare his arrogant insistence on refusing to act in The Astro Queue Car to his patience and care in The Castle Car and The Train to Nowhere.

Jeremy as XIII. Death

This isn't about the death of his family - I'm thinking of his reluctance to admit his number was going down. He cared about Morgan and Kez, and it's possible both that he may have really wanted to stay with them despite his exit and that that might even have been a healthy choice - they're real ass people with feelings and everything, not holodeck characters. But I also think Jeremy was using his life with them to avoid moving on out of that fog (because it was hard and it hurt and he didn't want to think about what that would mean for him and Morgan) and Morgan was enabling him.

Ryan Akagi as XIV. Temperance

Maybe the experience is the point. I wasn't just rushing you. I was rushing myself.

I think this one speaks for itself. Also, the other quote I considered putting here, from The Art Gallery Car: "You told me I can't appreciate the song without taking in the rest of the album. I need the whole package."

The Cat as XV. The Devil

I always do the right thing.

Honestly, this is one I really wasn't sure about. The Cat isn't a great pick for a lot of the meanings of Devil. She is definitely consumed by material comforts, and the short-term rewards of ignoring her issues at a long-term cost, though. This is more of a "vibes with Persona characters with this arcana" pick... Devil characters tend to start off being somewhat exploitative or even antagonistic towards the player character, and gradually showing a more conflicted and genuine side.

Amelia Hughes as XVI. The Tower

There's a hole in the universe where Alrick used to be.

Amelia's life is defined by catastrophe and upheaval - both those she's suffered and those she's inflicted on others.

Hazel as XVII. The Star

I'm going to keep loving you like you're still here.

When I think of "The Star" as a small but inextinguishable light in the darkness, Hazel seems like the obvious choice. Although we left her deeply wounded, I think she still has a flicker of her hope, faith, and purpose.

Grace Monroe as XVIII. The Moon

But it's unfair for me to tell you how to understand yourself. I mean, I don't even fully understand me.

Grace is probably the most complex and dynamic character on the show and hence one of the most difficult to place. I considered Empress, Strength, Devil, and Judgement for her... I think ultimately, lies and illusions are the most unifying theme of her character arc. Also, from a Persona angle, her pursuit of status out of a lack of true self-worth reminds me of Ai and Mishima.

Alan Dracula as XIX. The Sun

Brought together by the majesty of a superpowered deer!

I'm sorry dkjasfklads this is largely because I thought it was funny to have this completely inexpressive dead-eyed deer as Sun akfk but also... like... it kind of works okay!!! Think about the genuine joy and comfort and positivity he brings to Lake and Jesse (and me)!

The New Apex as XX. Judgement

"Then what are we gonna be?" "Guess we'll have to figure it out?"

This is kind of a Persona mythology gag again because of Judgement being a group social link near the end of the narratives of P3 and P4, when the protagonists have pierced through the lies and actually figured out who the villain of their game is and are ready to really start making progress.

0 as XI. The World

Ah, train does it again!

It's an ending and the completion of a journey, but also the beginning of a new one. And the world is literally what the passengers receive at the end of their train journey. Welcome home.

[august-anon]

We Like It

Y’all voted Geraskier for today so here is some Geraskier lol

This was prompted by an ask from like a YEAR ago, now, and I finally finished the fic a month or two ago, and I’ve finally remembered to post it. I hope it’s worth the wait lol, and also I am Unbelievably sorry for making you wait so long to see this come to fruition lol. Thank you for your patience, I hope you’re still hanging around my blog to see this, anon!

pt1 of this series 

pt2 of this series

[ao3 link to this series]

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Fandom: The Witcher

Ship(s): Geraskier

Characters (lee/ler): Ler!Geralt/Lee!Jaskier

Word Count: 1973 words

Summary: Geralt wants to test out a few things that Jaskier showed him the other day, and it just so happens that he's decided to make Jaskier his test subject.

[ao3 link]

-------------------------------------

They were staying with Yennefer for a few days as Geralt handled a particularly tricky contract, which of course meant living in the lap of luxury. Steaming baths that never cooled, rich and hearty meals, soundproofed rooms, fluffy beds that you just melted into, it was everything Jaskier was missing; and while Geralt pretended he couldn’t care less, Jaskier knew he was enjoying the brief stint of luxury as well.

The contract for the curse finally handled, they had one more night in their wonderfully soft bed before Geralt wanted to head out on the road again, so they took advantage of it while they could. 

They took one of those steaming baths, smelling sweet and fresh, and returned to their bed, smooth, fresh sheets awaiting them, changed on the daily. They stripped down to only their smallclothes to head to bed. Yennefer’s wards meant they would be kept safe enough that they needn’t worry about monsters or ambushes, so they could experience the full cuddling experience, all that warm skin soothing the touch-starved itch they both carried.

But even as Jaskier climbed into bed, prepared to hold his witcher close and relax, Geralt did not follow. Instead, he stared at their packs in the corner, humming thoughtfully.

“Geralt,” Jaskier whined. “I’m cold, come here.”

Geralt hummed again, walking over to their packs and rummaging through them briefly as Jaskier continued to whine and moan about the lack of cuddles currently happening. He immediately brightened when Geralt finally made his way toward the bed, sliding onto it and pulling Jaskier close.

“What did you need that could possibly be more important than me?” Jaskier teased, burrowing into Geralt’s side.

“A weapon.”

Jaskier sat up, bewildered. “A weapon? You’ve brought a weapon into our bed? Geralt, why could you possibly need--”

Jaskier cut himself off with a yelp as Geralt rolled over and on top of him, straddling his hips. His hands were quickly gathered up in one of Geralt’s and pinned above his head. In the moments it took Jaskier’s brain to process this, Geralt pulled his “weapon” out from behind his back and brandished it at Jaskier.

Jaskier’s own feather quill.

Jaskier sucked in a breath, already feeling his cheeks beginning to burn. “Now, Geralt,” he tried, squirming under him, “let’s talk about this.”

“You taught me some valuable information the other day,” Geralt said. “I’m just trying to see it in practice.”

Jaskier started giggling prematurely as the feather started looming ever-closer, butterflies swarming in his stomach. “You saw it in practice when I used it on you!”

“And now I’m going to see it in practice on you.”

Geralt started easy, thankfully, touching the feather down on one of Jaskier’s exposed shoulders and slowly brushing it towards his neck. Jaskier was able to keep his composure until the feather started trailing up the side of his neck, and his face crumpled and scrunched up trying to hold his laughter at bay.

He’d never been very good at that.

All it took was a particularly deliberate wiggle of the tip of the feather behind his ear and Jaskier cracked, tumbling into bubbly giggles. He didn’t bother trying to defend himself by scrunching up or trapping the feather, Geralt always found a way around his meager defenses, so he simply squirmed around on the bed to satisfy the urge to do so.

Geralt twisted the feather in his ear, much like Jaskier had done to him barely a week ago, and he went from cracked to shattered. That tickled more than Jaskier ever in his life imagined it could, and he wouldn’t even call his neck and ears bad spots! Jaskier shrieked at the soft tickling and jerked away, finally trying to escape for real.

“Geralt,” he cried through his giggles, becoming ever more high-pitched. “Geralt. No!”

Geralt simply hummed above him and moved to give his neck and ears the same treatment on the other side. It was pure torture in the best of ways, Jaskier both loving it and wanting it to stop immediately. Geralt was unfairly good at this for someone who tickled someone for the first time ever barely a month ago.

“I love your laugh,” Geralt said quietly, probably hoping Jaskier wouldn’t hear him over his squeaks and wild giggles.

“I love yours more!” Jaskier squealed as he jerked away from a brush of the feather against the shell of his ear.

“Well,” Geralt said, voice light and teasing, “I never said you had good taste.”

Jaskier let out an affronted noise that turned into an odd keening-giggle as Geralt began dragging the feather down the delicate skin of his upper arm, aiming for his armpit. He foolishly tugged at his arm, but Jaskier should’ve known better. He was no match for a witcher’s strength.

“Geralt, come on!”

“Why?” And oh, Jaskier loved to hate that wicked grin. “You like this.”

And by this point, it was no longer a question. It was a simple statement. Jaskier wasn’t sure which was worse, but he definitely felt his cheeks flush under Geralt’s gaze. They flushed even further -- though this time with laughter -- as the feather touched down in Jaskier’s armpit.

“Seeing this in practice is truly quite interesting.”

“Shut up--shit!”

Jaskier tossed his head back in loud laughter as Geralt dropped the feather and dug his fingers into Jaskier’s highest rib. Using that distraction, Geralt grabbed Jaskier’s wrists from where he had them trapped and pulled them down, pinning them under his knees. Jaskier’s stomach filled with butterflies as he realized Geralt now had two hands free to torment him with.

“You enjoy testing things on me, I should return the favor. Tell me, bard: which is worse?”

And then Geralt picked up the feather with one hand and readied his fingers on the other, sending both careening for his stomach. Jaskier tried to suck his stomach in, as if that would save him, but the second Geralt touched down, it was a lost cause as he started laughing again.

Geralt scratched to the side of his belly button with his free hand, his blunt fingernail making Jaskier’s nerves light up an unfair amount. On the other side of Jaskier’s belly button, he fluttered the feather in the mirrored spot, making Jaskier wish he had more room to thrash for his freedom. Each sensation was completely maddening and unbearable in it’s own way, and Jaskier didn’t know if he wanted to escape or let it go on forever.

“Well?”

“The feather!” Jaskier cried after a few more moments. “The feather!”

Geralt hummed thoughtfully and Jaskier squealed as the feather took a brief trip inside Jaskier’s belly button before Geralt found his next target: Jaskier’s hipbones. He scooted down to sit on Jaskier’s thighs to reach them, but his legs were unfortunately still long enough to keep Jaskier’s hands pinned easily. On one side, fingertips vibrated deeply into the skin and muscle, making Jaskier near-howl. On the other, the feather danced across the sharp bone with its maddeningly-light touch. 

Jaskier was thankful that Yennefer had the foresight to soundproof her rooms. Tomorrow would be quite the embarrassing morning, otherwise.

“And here?” Geralt asked, emphasizing his question by intensifying the tickling on both sides.

“Fingers!” Jaskier shrieked.

Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately?) that made Geralt drop the feather and start vibrating his now-freed fingers into the other hip. Then Jaskier was really howling, trying to buck his hips but being unable to get the leverage needed to do so. He could try and sit up to curl in on himself for protection, but Jaskier had the feeling that his ab muscles weren’t really looking to cooperate with how hard he was currently laughing.

After some minutes of that playful torture, Geralt picked up the feather quill once more. He danced and fluttered it along Jaskier’s pantline, making his eyes bulge out of his skull at the gentle touch. He choked out a mix of a squeal and a giggle, making Geralt let out a rumbling chuckle above him.

Then, as Geralt was searching for his next spot, the impossible happened: Jaskier finally managed to wiggle his hands free. They launched out from under Geralt’s knees, shooting directly for Geralt’s hands. Geralt tried to fight them off, but Jaskier managed to capture Geralt’s hands and interlace their fingers, the feather fluttering uselessly to the bed next to them.

“What now, tough guy?” Jaskier teased, though the effect was likely diminished by the fact that he was panting for breath.

Geralt furrowed his brow in thought and Jaskier’s heart fluttered. He sent an appraising look to Jaskier’s stomach before starting to lean down, and Jaskier started squealing before he even got close.

“Wait--wait, wait, no! Geralt, please, anything but that!”

Geralt chuckled. “I thought you liked fruit,” he said.

And then Jaskier was lost to wheezing cackles as Geralt took a deep breath, lowered his mouth to Jaskier’s stomach (right on his sensitive belly button) and blew. It tickled like all hell. In fact, it tickled worse than any raspberry had any right to, thanks to Geralt’s stubble.

“You need to shave!” Jaskier shouted through his laughter.

Geralt let out a little “oh” of realization before diving back in for another raspberry, but this time shaking his head as he blew. The result was a screaming Jaskier, tears of mirth being squeezing from his eyes, as his stomach vibrated with ticklish sensations, got scraped by stubble, and even got tickled by feather-light brushes of hair that had fallen from Geralt’s half-hearted styling.

After a few more of those wonderfully hellish raspberries, Geralt pulled back.

“I want to try something,” he said.

Jaskier let out an incredulous laugh, having nothing to do with his residual giggles. “Let me catch my breath first, darling. Shit.”

“Did I go too far?”

Jaskier shook his head. “No, no. You were wonderful, dear heart, I just need a moment. Not sure how much I have left in me, either.”

Geralt hummed.

After a few moments, his breath having returned, Jaskier nodded. “What is it you wanted to try?”

Geralt climbed off Jaskier’s legs, lifting one up into the air. Jaskier furrowed his brow, but his eyes then went wide as Geralt brushed a hand over his inner thigh before leaning in slightly and looking to Jaskier for permission.

“Oh fuck,” he said in a hoarse whisper. “Alright, but stop when I tell you.”

Geralt nodded, and then his lips were swiftly attached to Jaskier’s inner thigh as he blew a raspberry. Jaskier’s laughter went silent almost immediately, the sensations so overwhelming that he couldn’t even make a sound. He howled and screamed, but no sound left his lips to indicate his tortured state. After a few small raspberries dotted across his thigh, Geralt shifted himself for a better angle and gave a repeat performance on his untouched leg.

Jaskier was able to stand it until Geralt began digging tickling fingers into whatever thigh wasn’t currently being targeted by his lips. As much fun as it all was, it was too much for him to take. He slapped his hand against the bed a few times, and Geralt immediately stopped. Jaskier panted desperately for breath as Geralt firmly rubbed away the remaining tingles from his mouth and fingers.

“Alright?”

Jaskier laughed. “Alright?” He asked. “Alright?! I’m fucking incredible, dear. Now, come down here and cuddle me. I’m going to fall asleep at any moment now.”

Geralt did as he was told, shuffling back up the bed and laying next to Jaskier, pulling the furs and bedsheets over the top of them. They exchanged a few chaste goodnight kisses until Jaskier was too drowsy to even move his lips in response anymore, and settled down against the expensive pillows to finally rest.

Jaskier’s revenge could easily wait until the morning.

[thefanficmonster]

And My Heart Burned In That Lodge

Michael (Mike) Munroe x Reader (female)

Warnings: Death, Grief, Dealing with loss, Heartbreak, Swearing

Genre: ANGST

Summary: None of them will ever be the same, who knows if they’ll even heal. However, the case is different for Mike. He’s left to be dealing with the guilt, grief and the haunting memory of his friend’s death. He’s angry with himself for all the wrong things he did and all the right things he was too much of a coward to do. Now, his only closure is talking to a gravestone, hoping the wind in the graveyard will pass the message onto the person who the words are meant for.  

Requested by Anon. Wish I could tag them, they have such amazing ideas ❤

PS - Sorry this is hella long, I got carried away LOL

I stand aside, watching as my friends place their flowers on her grave. I can hear their cries. For some odd reason I can’t find it in me to feel sympathy or the need to go over there and be with them. I can’t see how that would do anything but make me feel more miserable. Standing here, seeing this scene unfold in front of me, I can’t help but be reminded of how it all started.

Fuck Mondays, man. Fuck them from the bottom of my heart. Even worse, this is the first week of school after winter break so no one wants to be here. Even even worse, this is the first time I’ll be seeing Emily after out breakup. We broke up over text and while I’m aware that’s the worst way to break up with someone, I must admit it was the only way for a lot of arguing and awkwardness to be avoided. 

It’s the first time I’m coming to school alone in a while. Without Emily, the car was pleasantly quiet aside from the songs on the radio. Not gonna lie, it felt a bit lonely. Being single for the first time in what feels like forever is both liberating and oddly melancholic. I try to push the self-loathing and the depressing thoughts away as my eyes scan the hallway, looking for the group of familiar faces. My gang. We used to be ten people but we lost two girls during our winter getaway at the Washington lodge. Josh’s sisters, Hannah and Beth, went missing and are presumably dead, all cause of a stupid prank Jess, Emily and I concocted, convincing Matt and Ash to go along with it. In retrospect, I don’t know what we were thinking.

‘Seriously, Mike? From one depressing thought to another? Is your brain lacking serotonin today more than usual or what?‘ I mentally scold myself just as I spot two familiar faces - Sam and Ashley. 

It doesn’t take long for me to notice the rest of the gang - Matt, Jess and Chris - all standing near by, surrounding a girl I have never seen before. She sticks out immediately with her long H/C hair and shiny E/C eyes. Jess has her arm linked with the girl, a gesture really out of place for Jess. I mean, her and Emily are pretty close and I’ve never even seen them hug.

“Hey, man. How are you?“ Matt notices me first, lifting his head and smiling at me. His greeting leads the others to look in my direction as well, including the girl. I catch Jess lean down in and whisper something to her. I can’t hear what she’s saying but it clearly aggravates her. I have never received a dirtier look from a girl in my entire life. I usually have the opposite effect on women but I guess there’s a first time for everything. 

“Mike...” Jess steps away from the girl and towards me, “this is my best friend, Y/N. She just got transferred here.” She turns her attention back to the girl, “Y/N, this is Mike.” 

Y/N looks unamused as she outstretches her arm in my direction. “Nice to meet you” is what she says, but her expression clearly tells me she would like to see as little of me as possible. At least she’s polite, right? 

“Likewise.” The handshake is brief and, despite her obvious distaste for me, she still gives me a firm handshake. 

“Wait, you were transferred? I thought Jess said you came here cause you moved.” Sam furrows her brows in confusion. 

“Well, it’s really a chicken and the egg type of situation.” Y/N laughs, rubbing the back of her neck almost nervously, “We moved because I had to transfer.”  Yikes.“ Ashley comments, “Not to pry or anything, but why did you have to be transferred?“

Y/N looks me dead in the eyes, as if she’s sending me a message that I better not overlook, or so help me God I’ll be dead. ”Noses randomly broke when I was around.”

It hurts so much to look back on those times and not pick up on what I was feeling. I foolishly decided that if I can’t give the feelings a name or find them a purpose I should turn a blind eye. I wasn’t that ignorant, I could tell she was the cause, but I could never admit it.

And then there’s the situation with Jess...

“You hurt her, and I’ll kill you.“

I found Y/N by the bleachers and let me tell you, she’s quite the paradox. She’s a straight A, no nonsense, intelligent beyond her years girl. With all these characteristics, you’d think she’d know better than to smoke cigarettes. Wrong! She’s a smoker. Jess can never not complain about the smell of cigarette smoke, it’s a miracle these two get along.

To my ‘hi’ she responded with what looked to be an eyeroll and an annoyed release of smoke through her nostrils. Even though I know I’m not welcome to be in her proximity, I still decide to sit down a little ways away from her, for personal space and all that. Definitely not cause I’m slightly afraid of her. No way.

We just sit in silence until she hits me with the aforementioned threat. I am caught off guard. All I can do is stare straight ahead of me like a deer in headlights. After maybe thirty seconds of absolute confusion I manage to turn my head to look at her. “What are you talking about?” The question is supposed to sound harsh but compared to the way she spit out that death threat it sounded more like a whimper.

“You are such an ignorant asshole.“ She shakes her head, throwing her cigarette on the bench below her. She stomps on it and walks away. I can’t help but stare at her until she’s out of sight. I feel like I’m watching something non-human. A phenomenon you can experience once in a lifetime - if you’re lucky. 

She’s the complete opposite of Jess: grounded, smart, rational. The only time I’ve seen her be so unpleasant is around me. I catch her interactions with the rest of the gang. From afar, she seems like the nicest, friendliest girl. And then she catches a glimpse of me and her mood changes. I don’t know what’s her problem with me but I know it most certainly isn’t something I’ve done to her. She’s been like that since the first moment we were introduced, so either Jess has talked a lot of shit about me or she just hates people named Michael. I may never know.

I had no idea what she meant at the time and only found out three weeks ago. Speaking of three weeks ago, the group once again headed for the Blackwood Pines, trying to hide their uneasiness with make excitement. I was pretty hyped when I heard we were going because that also meant our friend Josh was finally starting to get better. He hadn’t been in a good mindset since his sisters went missing and we were all really worried for him but weren’t allowed to show it because he always insisted he was fine.

He wasn’t. He was as messed up as ever and served as only the prologue to the nightmare of a night we had to live through.

But before all that could happen, the night started off well. Better than expected. The eeriness of the mountain combined with the bad memories we had of the place we still there, we could all feel the tension, but we did a good job masking it with jokes and whatnot. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t really looking forward to go and not only because of what happened the year prior.

“Wait, wait, wait. Y/N’s coming too?“ I ask, looking at Josh with wide eyes.

The guy is clearly confused by my overdramatic reaction to him counting down the names of the ones who had already RSVPd ‘Yes’. “Is that a problem or something?”

I sigh, hiding my face in my hands. It’s embarrassing to admit, really. “She doesn’t like me, and that puts it mildly. She hates me.”

He looks even more baffled than before, “Why? What’d you do to her?”

“Nothing, for fuck’s sake. Not a single thing. I haven’t even had a proper interaction with her.“ Talking about this matter exhausts me, mostly cause I can’t even express half the things I’m feeling.

There’s been a time or two I’ve caught her looking at me but her eyes weren’t filled with that distrust I’m used to. She looks away quickly when we make eye contact, as if she can’t put the mean mask on in time and she has to look away to do a system reset. I sometimes catch myself looking at her without realizing. I try to tell myself I do it for the purpose of solving her. 

‘Who are you kidding, Munroe?‘

                                                                  * * *

And here I am, climbing up the mountain to the Washington lodge. I’ve made it a goal to use this getaway to mend things with Y/N. It’s the only way for me to get back to normal. To get my mind back since she’s recently been living in my head rent-free. I’m bullshitting, not just recently. She’s taken over my brain since day one. I can’t place what’s going on with me, I can’t find a term to label it with and I most definitely can’t find a way to stop it. So, I’ve come to the conclusion that if I can’t stop it on my own, she’ll have to do it for me.

Another thing - I’ve never felt nervous or self-conscious around a girl all my life. Never. My friends joke that I’m a ladies’ man and I’d say that’s pretty true. So I have a tough time understanding how I turn into an awkward turtle that’s missing confidence when she’s around.

Once we all get settled in and there’s a fire going, giving the lodge a cozy atmosphere, it’s every man for themselves. Everyone picks a activity they want to occupy themselves with and the living room of the lodge empties out, leaving me there alone.

I scroll stare at the screen of my now useless phone. The thing has no reception and no way of keeping me busy, leaving my attention to wander to the voices that are getting more and more distant as my friends walk out of the room.

I can’t help but overhear Jess say to Y/N, “You haven’t even set your bag down yet and you’re going for a smoke? Jeez, Y/N.”

“You say as though you don’t know me.“ Y/N laughs, the sound of a door opening following after her voice.

It’s such a nice sound, her laugh. I’ve never heard it before. I’ve seen her smile and seen her chuckle at someone’s joke, but it was never actually a laugh. Seems she keeps those for special occasions. 

If she’s in the type of mood to laugh, she’s in the type of mood to be civil with me. Before I can talk myself out of the on-spot decision, I mentally slap myself and get off the couch, walking to the door to the side deck.

“You’ve got this, she’s just a person” 

“Who’s just a person?“ her voice cuts through the silence of the outdoors.

‘SHIT I SAID THAT OUT LOUD‘

I decide to carry this all the way, no shortcuts. No backing out. Somehow, now that she’s standing in front of me - a cigarette between her fingers, her shoulders tense from of the cold - I find it easier to get the words out. She’s just as human as everyone else. The cold causes her to shrivel up. She’s addicted to tobacco. She’s not some riddle I need to solve, just a person I need to talk to in order to understand.

“You.“ I reply, “Why aren’t you wearing a jacket?“

She shakes her head, her shoulders trembling a bit, “It builds the immune system.”

“No, it makes you suffer.“ I shrug my jacket off, cautiously approaching her and wrapping it around her.

Surprisingly, she accepts it with a nod and a murmured ‘thanks’, holding onto it with the hand that’s not holding her cigarette. “Why were you reminding yourself that I’m just a person? Do I not look like one?” She scoffs, facing away from me to look at the snowy hills ahead.

“No, no, not that. You just make me nervous that’s all.“ 

She whirls around, giving me this look as though she has no idea what I’m talking about.

“Really? Why’s that?“ she puts out her cigarette on the wooden railing, focusing all her attention on me.

My hand instinctively goes up to the back of my neck, feeling my face start to heat up. “Well, you’re not really fond of me. And I don’t know why, and....” I trail off, sighing in self-disappointment, “And I wanna know why.”

Her expression turns the complete opposite, a smile spreading across her face. “It’s not about something you have done. It’s about what you might’ve done.”

Despite feeling slightly relieved, I am no less confused than I was a minute ago. “And what is that?”

“Break my best friend’s heart.“ She looks a lot more serious now, “You really had no idea she was head over heels for you just a month ago. You were so oblivious and she was so whipped...“ frustration radiates off of her, “I just didn’t want her to get hurt.“ She closes her eyes, stabilizing herself before finishing her statement, “I didn’t want to hurt her.“

“Wait, what?“

The hurt that paints itself on her face is contagious. I feel it too and I don’t even know what’s causing it. “She always told me about you. Mike this and Mike that. She made you sound like the best guy in the world. And...I really wanted to be let down when I met you, but you were nothing but nice to me and to the other people in the group. But you were also such a jerk from time to time. You are just too...Fucking forget it.” 

In a blink of an eye she puts my jacket over the railing and runs inside the lodge.

“Y/N, wait!“

Needless to say, running after her was the best decision I’ve made. I didn’t get her to admit to anything, but at least we lied down the armor and agreed to give each other some time to get to know one another. Drop aside the assumptions and give a this acquaintanceship the chance to become a friendship. 

Sadly, all good things come to an end way sooner than we want. The rest of that dreadful night I witnessed her transform. When everyone was freaking out, she held them and comforted them. I saw the fear in her eyes but she never let it shine through in her actions. She was the one still holding it together even after she saw that disgusting creature. Her and I were the ones to turn that sanatorium upside down. We were with Josh in the mines. We were the ones to see the Wendigo first. We were by each other’s side the entire time. We had each other’s backs. 

I’ve never felt such a connection with someone. I was experiencing the most intimate understanding with a person in the worst moment of my life. It was bittersweet. The poison mixed with the cure.

Even when she knew her death was approaching, her only reaction was a single tear. A single crystal drop running down her cheek.

We can make a break. We can run right out of this hell hole and turn it to ash, all we need is for this fucking to focus its attention elsewhere. Thankfully Chris, Ash and Emily have made it out already and they’re safe. However, Sam, Y/N and I are trapped. The silent looks we exchange are laced with fear and panic. We have to calculate our next moves down to a millisecond and we don’t even know what those next moves should be.

Suddenly, a sharp pain starts spreading from my hand shoulder. My adrenaline is no longer doing a good job blocking out the pain of the fingers I had to sever. I slip up, letting out a hiss. The pain is just that unbearable.

That thing turn at the speed of light, letting out a screech and heading in my direction. My whole body is tense I couldn’t move if I wanted to but my arm is in such a horribly painful position, I think I’ll faint if I don’t readjust it.

“HEY!“ The voice comes from opposite me and my heart drops.

Sam’s next to me. It’s not her. It’s Y/N. 

The Wendigo loses interest in me as soon as it hears her yell turning and heading straight for her. It all starts sinking in. Now that it’s facing away, Sam and I can make it out. But she can’t. It’s over for her. There’s no way she’s leaving this lodge.

I catch her eyes from across the room. Her posture says a fighter, but her eyes scream ‘petrified’. She knows it too. She knows it’s game over. A single tear rolls down her cheek, shattering my heart.

That’s the last vulnerable moment, however. She turns her head, deciding to go out without showing a glint of fear to that piece of shit. I don’t have to look at Sam or tell her what to do. We’re both aware that we’re about to make it out, losing Y/N in the process.

It happens in a split second. Y/N spits at the Wendigo and then next thing I see is her laying on the ground in a pool of blood. 

The dash out of the lodge is a blur. The last thing I remember is sitting outside of the burning building, staring at the flames. The lodge wasn’t the only thing burning. Years of memories; history; wendigos; and my heart burnt in that lodge.

I see the group leave the graveyard. I struggle to move forward, my limbs heavy. I feel gravity is a lot stronger all of a sudden. 

I didn’t go to the final goodbye. I knew it wasn’t her. There was nothing left of her to bury. Sam told me they buried things that reminded people of her and objects she cherished. 

Well it’s time I give my goodbye.

I shrug my jacket off - the same jacket from that night - and put it around the gravestone like I put it over her shoulders. There’s a box of the cigarettes she smoked in the inner pocket.

“I hope you felt what I felt, Y/N. I hope I didn’t have to say it for you to notice it. I wish I knew...cause now it’ll haunt me for the rest of my life.” I can’t stop the tears, I’m too weak and I’ve been holding them back for far too long. “I’ve never believed in an afterlife. But I really hope there is one, just so we can meet again.” I scoff, shaking my head, “Who am I kidding, I’m probably going to hell.”

I believe that’s where I deserve to go, anyway. I’m the reason she died. And I will never let myself live that down. I will never forgive myself. A flame like no other burnt out so mine could keep burning.   I will make sure it haunts me till the day I leave this world behind.

[omgdexnursey]

hey again its crisis anon and i'm starting to rly want to try my hand at writing fanfic!! embracing the "fuck it" mentality atm🤪🤙 & i think i have the language aspect of writing down, like i'm good enough at it lol, but i've never written for a fandom before so its kind of daunting :( if its not an inconvenience i'd love to know if u have any tips!!

sorry on the lateness of this reply!! i’ve been thinking about this ask pretty much since i got it.

(this got kinda long oops i hope this is useful)

first and foremost, i would say that when deciding to write fic: write the stories you want to read. that is absolutely essential to fic writing because if you aren’t inspired by a story or it’s not something you’re all that interested in, chances are it’s either a) not gonna be all that great because you weren’t invested in it or b) it’s not gonna get finished because you’ll get bored of it. also, while i do write because i love the community aspect of it and i love people commenting and sharing my stories and talking about them, the core of my writing stems from me wanting to write and getting excited about a story i think is really cool. sometimes i think: am i really going to write this stupid au that no one else cares about and the answer is usually yes because I want to write it and therefore to me, it’s a story worth telling. this also applies if you’re writing a story you feel has already been done a million times - even if it has, it’s never been told by you 

second: be patient with yourself. if you’ve been following me for a while, you probably know that my tag for posts about writing and its struggles is “writing is hard” and it is! sometimes i start stories, get only a little bit of the way into it and then think of a new story and start writing that instead. it’s totally okay (and not unusual) to bounce around in fics, especially if you’re stuck, because otherwise it’ll start feeling less like a fun hobby and more like a chore to finish. i have fics i started over a year ago, or haven’t worked on in months because i got stuck, and a lot of times i find that after working on something else or just giving my mind time away from it, i’ll think of a scene that i want to add or how to get around where i’m stuck. sometimes i open up a doc that’s been there for months, write one sentence i thought of, and then leave it again. 

(as an add-on: writing is not linear! sometimes i know how i want a fic to end or start or just one event that happens somewhere in the middle and nothing else, and i start by writing the parts that inspired me to write it, then build around it.)

writing is also very fluid. by that i mean there’s so many times i’ve gone into a fic with an idea that is the core of the fic only to get partially or completely through writing it and realize that i want to change it in some way or go in a different direction than when i first started, so don’t be afraid to reshape an idea you originally had.

on a practical level, if you have an idea, write it down somewhere. there have been so many times that i’ll just randomly have an idea pop into my head and i’m like trying to fall asleep or i’m doing something else and i foolishly tell myself that i’ll remember it later so i don’t need to write it down now. (you might be able to guess - i do not remember a lot of them) i have notes on my phone that have just like lines of dialogues or the outline of a scene and some of them don’t really mean anything from the outside (ex. from a note about an artist au i have in progress: “dex wakes up and nursey’s painting - it’s really late”) just something for you to read and remember what you wanted from it.

also, don’t completely delete scenes if you want to take them out of a fic. i have a document titled “random unused ideas” and part of it is just scraps of ideas referenced in the above paragraph, and some of it is scenes i’ve taken out of fics but don’t want to get rid of because they might come in handy in other fics. i just recently decided to take a bunch of the snippets of scenes i had and put them into one fic to be worked on in the future. i also like to make an adjacent doc to put scenes in just in case i want them back in the fic i was writing. so for example, when i was writing “under the summer sun with you” i had a doc titled “fishing trip au extras”, and there was an entire scene i ended up taking out but i had in that doc because i wasn’t sure yet if it was going to make the final cut. (now it’s in my general “random unused ideas”)

finally, if you can, find people to talk to about writing. i get so excited when people want to talk about my stories and my friends here bounce ideas back and forth, which has helped me work around some of the roadblocks i’ve encountered. 

hope this helps and if you do write good luck!!! my inbox + messages are always open and i love talking about writing!! it’s scary and challenging but if you find that you enjoy it, that’s really what matters!

[n-k-y]

Do you think Eren is doing everything to protect Historia? Do you think that there’s been a hint of romance between the two? Do you believe in them becoming a thing by the end of the story? Would it make sense such a thing for the characters themselves? I know these are silly questions and that are a bit out of context, but I really wanted your opinion about it😣��🙈... (I’m not a shipper, I just really need an objective view about the issue...)

Hey there sweet anon. Sorry for the slow reply but it’s been a busy week and I haven’t been able to get to my laptop. But I AM HERE NOW. 

Short answer to all your questions: no. 

I think in context, what we’ve seen hasn’t guided the story in that direction - and that such dynamics just haven’t been foreshadowed. 

SO, here are the long answers:

Do you think Eren is doing everything to protect Historia?

Wiggity-what? COS MY WIG HAS BEEN SNATCHED. 

Run far away from people that say this because they either must have missed 108, lack reading comprehension, or ARE incredibly and disgustingly bias - for whatever reason. Eren cares about all his friends. This is a paramount component of the story. Eren reflecting candidly about how he wants them to live a long and happy life was placed there for a reason. Simply so that we can read subsequent chapters with this information in mind. 

Eren cares about all his friends - including Historia. He may be paying her at special attention because she is the only one in immediate danger of becoming a titan. Nevertheless, everyone including Historia is in danger of the world crushing them in a World War that is about to be unleashed upon them.

Do you believe in them becoming a thing by the end of the story?

LOL, no. If they are - I require a personal letter from God in APA format, all sources cited, signed with the blood of Christ stating when and where this happened. I do not canonically see any romantic implications between that of Historia and Eren. I see a close friendship at best where they strive to protect each other from their cursed history and depressing destiny. Historia teasing Mikasa about why Eren has access to her innermost secrets before anyone else resonated with me. BUT then again, I am always accused of BeINg BLiNd and not being able to read in between the lines. 

If Eren and Historia do somehow end up being “together,”, we need believable receipts. 

Would it make sense such a thing for the characters themselves? 

Lol, again, no.

Eren’s goals, dreams, and wishes are centered around protecting Paradis, his friends, and achieving freedom. I think it would be a poor choice and a surefire way to weaken the narrative by inherently making Eren’s goals go from his personal freedom and those of his friends to a family that would have been made inexplicably during a hidden time skip. Not only would that be weird, but it would also be weak asf. Considering that there is already an overarching direction of the story and a message that we’ve all grown accustomed to, I can’t see it veering off into such uncharted territory. I don’t think our selfish Eren would hurt himself in that way. I’m sure he has enough on his plate.

In regards to Historia: I feel like Historia’s insight into Ymir and their story hasn’t been addressed yet - which is another reason as to why a torrid affair with Eren would be… weird. A lot feels unresolved and that’s because it is. We haven’t gotten her thoughts, heard more of her pain, or figured out where her loyalties lie in the current cesspool of chaos. Without Historia’s inner philosophy that she’s had over the time skip - I don’t think this direction would make much sense for her character or her narrative. 

I want to say (I may be wrong) but I’ve always read Historia and Eren in a particular way. I feel like their story’s closely parallel one another… But they don’t intersect (at least in the way that many people are implying). If that makes sense? Historia has her own thoughts, feelings, obligations, goals. As does Eren. They strongly inspire one another for where they have been and where they are heading in life. However, I do not think that they don’t have the exact same destination. Historia wants to live for herself and make sure that she is a good queen to her people. Eren requires freedom for himself and his people. We don’t want Eren to end up like father and we don’t want Historia to end up like her mother. These characters don’t want that either. The road on how their characters will get there can be done in many ways - not only in the most popular “theory” that I’ve seen floating around. 

Since they both have to or have had to overcome the paths of their parents. Not sure why that would require them to be a couple in order for them supporting one another to work or to feel organic?

Your questions are not silly at all! Honestly, after a few talks with some fandom faves of mine, I’ve come to the conclusions that I’m not insane for not seeing what the rest of the fandom says we are “missing.” I don’t think we should be influenced by the absence of evidence to go on a tangent and insert what we “want” to have happened over the 10 months in our timeline that are still missing. We have to wait before jumping the gun and shooting ourselves in the foot.

If somehow I am wrong and Isayama does go in that direction, I’d be sorely disappointed. However, I don’t see this manga turning into a sleezy J-drama with father drama or Eren foolishly following in his father’s footsteps of dragging more people into bid for freedom. (to me, it seems like he’s trying to push everyone away but that’s a different story for another day.)

So please rest easy anon ❣️

Feel free to ask any other questions. 

I hope I helped :))