#lol i love being edgy uwu

[irregularsleepingfish]

You tell me you wish for my happiness, and claim that I should never have to justify myself to others. So I find it curious that you, oh so-called knight, are the one that bares a blade of poisoned words with intent to slay the "unnatural beast" you see before you.

Hypocrisy is your deadliest poison, and shall one day be your downfall.

[blackstarchanx3new]

I LOVE YOUR RED DESIGN SO MUCH

He is SO OOOUUUUUUUUUHHHHGGGGG

all your designs for the fsr cast are so so so tasty i love them all ooouwwwaahhhwhwhhwhwhwaahaewawawaaa

Thanks! XD

There's no competition, I love the new one SO MUCH.

Trying to make them all look different while still having that Link flare is a challenge but fun.

His pink hair is such an improvement over the bright red that blended WAAAY to much into his hat.

Trying to draw his eyes more similar to how Akira does as well.

I made him slightly paler and Blue slightly less pale to give them some skin variation.

Red's hair and skin were blending too much imo before I made him paler. Working with various shades of red and pinks is so hard agh.

Gave him a more cherry red tunic too + a red for his belt and hat rim.

I'm taking this as an opportunity to talk about things I love about drawing/designing them.

Blue's super long side burns are a favorite design choice tho. XDDDD

Blue also has a more unique nose shape being inspired by the noses in Soul Eater.

Him having no tights I think shows his wreck-less nature. XD

Thicc eyebrows are visually tasty and don't let anyone say otherwise-

Vio's face + hair is a favorite of mine. He has such a draw-able face.

Him wearing twilight princess Link's outfit is very fitting for him I think.

Him always having his sword visible is annoying to draw but also shows he perpetually has it there is kinda off-putting.

It's also SUCH a stark contrast when in the head space he has no armor and is in way less clothes. I wouldn't call them "revealing" because they're not, but they are compared to his 100% head to toe covered look in the real world. No armor, no long sleeve shirt no long tights. Just a baggy t shirt and shorts lol.

His tunic having a chainmail layer underneath is fun, Vio is the most armored up Link out of the four atm with his arm guards PLUS chainmail.

Vaati is literally color-picked from minish cap and his design is taken right from that too, but playing around with him reverting back to Wind demon mode is super fun art wise.

His colored Akira art is so desaturated agh. XD

I'd love to give Vaati a new outfit at some point tho.

Dark's blank slate design is a favorite of mine. He's so dang cute but I'm very excited to draw him in new things when he gets a new outfit. I think atm tho it draws attention to his creepy chest eyeball, changing hair and his expressions more since his outfit IS so bland.

I just love Link. He is so precious to me. Trying to work in all the colors from the four of them was a challenge but also really satisfying in the final design I think.

I just love how Green is tiered and his hair is similar to Link's but with a cap on. Also he makes me like the color green I typically don't like working with green. XDDDD

His hair is a MESS and inspired by Oracle of ages manga Link's hair. Specifically how it tilts down instead of sticking upward like in FS.

Him wearing Ocarina of Time Link's outfit is fun but I think it works better on Shadow. XDDDD

I'm really happy people liked Gannondorf because I struggled hah. My art style is more simple than Akira's but I'm glad I could capture the essence of Gannondorf. UwU

Like, he was mostly inspired by Twilight Princess Gannon with Wind Waker and Ocarina Gannon flare.

Ngl I love how OOT Link's outfit looks on Shadow Link. He looks so edgy.

The hot topic boots and different toned brown for his chest belt and actual belt are just the cherry on top. XD

I try to keep his hair in line with how it's drawn in FS because it gives him a unique silhouette when he's a shadow.

Though I'd love to design him more Gannondorf inspired attire like his desert cloak.

His TP manga Midna inspired look was mostly due to me wanting to find a way to show his expressions while ALSO showing he is an entirely black shadow.

Anyways yeah, FSR is very fun to work on visually XD

[alaskan-wallflower]

skipper you’re too nice and kind to say this so i’m gonna say it because i’m feeling bitchy today. i know it’s comforting to imagine that yalls faves like all the same things you do and some of yall desperately want kyle to be this soft uwu guy but let’s be so for real right now. kyle would not be a fucking taylor swift fan. where are people even getting this from? he canonically listens to hip hop and new wave and has never shown any interest in girly pop music, unlike some of his friends cough cartman cough. also, most regular dudes (which kyle is) don’t like taylor swift. if we’re gonna modernize his music taste i honestly see him being more likely to listen to music like drake, childish gambino, and tame impala over taylor swift. maybe hozier if you really wanna give him a soft side. wendy, shelley, and cartman are RIGHT THERE they would be the swifties, not kyle. he’d actually be more likely to be super annoying about his music taste and act superior because he listens to the smiths than be a swiftie. i will die on this hill. ok bye im gonna go work on my 100% ACCURATE kyle playlist

aw that’s nice that you think i’m kind lol-people usually tell me i’m bitchy.

but yeah.i do agree with this. kyle isn’t a taylor fan im sorry. there’s no way he would like any of her music, county, pop, folk song, whatever. he hates her music. he would respect everything she’s done but he doesn’t get why she’s so overhyped.

as for modern music taste i say beastie boys.. (no sleep til brooklyn hits hard tb) maybe some fall out boy in there, but not the really edgy ones. i sort of agree with the hozier bit? hozier is more stan’s thing imo, but like i can see kyle liking jackie and wilson. like if hozier came on the radio he wouldn’t turn it off (unless it’s smth like like real people do, i can’t see him liking songs with that sort of beat) but he wouldn’t be actively enjoying it. he would love drake. eminem as well. maybe pop smoke. i can see him being an early kanye fan but he stopped listening to him when he started going off the deep wnd. he would like rap and hip hop and stuff.

tbh i don’t usually know how to respond to a head anon i disagree with without sounding mean or anything. i don’t wanna make people feel bad. but kyle being a taylor fan just doesn’t make sense to me.

[thebeingofeverything]

Ok I’ll bite, I’m curious:

Mephisto/Amaimon - why ship it? (All 3 q’s)

Rin/Shiemi — why don’t you ship it? (I hope I’m asking this right)

I think we will probably have similar reasons but it never hurts to ask!

Mefiama, why ship it:

1. Ok! So for the first, really my og aoex ship was amairin bc I'm a battle couple shipper first and foremost but mefiama was a close second and it's bc I'm a demon lover after everything lololol

Specifically, I've loved characters like mephisto and amaimon as long as I can remember, starting from my og fav yyh Yoko Kurama and Hiei (which in my head is a different ship than Hiei/Kurama). But, like that ship, I actually never really liked/like the ways fandom portrays them. Characters like Hiei and Amaimon both end up woobified and turned into stereotypical uke characters with the big sexy dom/seme mephisto/Kurama to seduce/play with them.

And to me that always pissed me off bc of how ooc it made them all out to be. I love Hiei and Amaimon bc they're little feral shitheads who have a massive independent streak to them and act/are totally inhuman. They both poke at each other and cause each other headaches and I live for it lololol

They're spicy as hell too and I love that in a ship. The second I saw Mephisto keeping Amaimon strung up on spears in the cuckoo prison that was it for me 😩👌🔥

2. The draw for these characters and the ship is that they're both inhuman creatures that only pretend at humanity, or in amaimons case, is forced to play nice by mephisto if he wants to be stomping around his territory.

What I really love about them, though, is that while Mephisto has the upper hand in the dynamic, Amaimon also knows his character and can see past his clown mask bullshit. He knows the demon Mephisto really is under all the sparkles and show boating. He's an observer and even when Mephisto is focusing on his goals and plots and shows, Amaimon is there on the sidelines keeping tabs and picking everything apart. I think Amaimon thinks Mephisto is interesting or has potentially interesting ideas. The thing about demons is they're constantly looking for something to keep them interested through their eternal existences and with Mephisto, Amaimon has a source of enrichment lol

I also like the fucked up premise of how Amaimon has an inherent trust in Mephisto that gets abused in canon. We saw him getting incredibly hurt by the shiemi reveal, as if Mephisto keeping that info from him meant Mephisto was treating him like one of his human pawns and not with respect as another demon king.

3. I'm not sure if there's an unpopular opinion I have for them, except that I tend to find most fandom treats them incredibly ooc and it makes it difficult for me to enjoy content of them from others. Mephisto as the over simplified seductive seme, doing typical melodramatic evil villain stuff and Amaimon being reduced to a uwu baby idiot who has never had sex despite being a who knows how old demon king. I've got a ton of bitching I've done over the years about it (and it's the same treatment Hiei always got back in the day so I'm used to the frustration) 😂

Rinshi, Don't Ship:

1. Man I feel really bad to say this but this is one of the most vanilla/boring ships in the fandom outside of bonrin. It's just so typical hot headed anime boy protag/girl next door love interest, even as much as they're both incredibly well developed characters, and as much as I love Rin.

It really just comes down to Rin being a, like, base ingredient for me as a ship. Like him being involved in a ship isn't on its own enough to make me enjoy/ship something. (Amaimon, on the other hand, immediately spices any ship up and I've even got a few rinamaishi fic aus out there lol). But I've never been interested in the sweet, hard-working character archetype. I can't help it, I'm into edgy bastard gremlin characters, the antagonists and anti heroes lololol (The exception to this in aoex is Yuri and that's bc she's got that little mischievous bad girl zing to her I love lololol). Shiemi just doesn't have that spice I need to really invest in a character.

2. What would have made me like it is just if Shiemi was a different character lololol like, she's just too sweet for me, like a marshmallow. Her in her string Independent woman era isn't really doing it for me either bc it feels like all her character development got cut out in that training arc she was just in. We missed a good opportunity to see her reconcile things with her grandma and her growth just to watch her toss an Amaimon copy and it feels like we got cheated out of her character arc.

If she just had that little spark that Yuri had it might work for me but I haven't seen it and until then it feels like every other typical anime main character/love interest ship, and it's just never been a dynamic I've never been into.

3. Positive things I have to say are that I think Kato has always done a phenomenal job making her characters feel realistic and not the usual anime shallow stereotypes. So when ppl tell me they enjoy the ship I'm like yeah, if ur into those kinds of characters and that ship dynamic, you've come to the right series to get a really well developed couple who feel fleshed out and who have had a developing relationship throughout the series. Totally understandable, just not for me.

I hope I actually answered these right 😂 thanks for the ask @philosophicalparadox 🩷

[irithnova]

Ok but about what I said about rochu shippers and Mongolia I feel like they just make Mongolia the serial killer of the week in their rochu fics and not to be a smartass but the idea that Russia and China met during the Mongol empire is probably not accurate because it was the golden horde who pursued Russia and Russia was simply a vassal state for the golden horde. I'm not saying that the golden horde wasn't part of the Mongol empire, and it did answer to the Yuan, but it did eventually get Turkified and broke away like all of the other Khanates.

Also from what I've heard a lot of Russians, when they think about that time period, more often than not they think "Golden horde" rather than "Mongol Empire".

I'm not hating on anyone who headcanons that they met during that era, it would still make sense if they did, so perhaps when the golden horde still answered to the Yuan, Russia would be made to go and visit and boom there's China and he's like oh wow he's pretty (I like this headcanon myself) .

But I can't get behind the idea that they lived with each other under Mongolia's roof while Mongolia terrorised them all day or that they had a lot of contact simply because I don't think it's accurate. I know this is hetalia and not supposed to be serious but Rochu shippers really annoy me sometimes. It's like they're accurate about everything but the Mongol Empire.

I've been put off of rochu as a ship because a lot of rochu shippers tend to have the worst, orientalist depiction of their relationship (probs because a lot of them are white/westerners lol) with China being portrayed as some sort of dragon lady - his femininity being weaponised against him to paint him as a clueless, ~exotic~ Asian and Russia the uwu so strong Westerner (I mean for the sake of this argument Russia is a westerner.)

And when rochu shippers touch upon Mongolia ohohoh let me tell you it's just as bad. Dumb orientalist takes both ways (when it comes to China and Mongolia), except with Mongolia they weaponised his perceived masculinity (I say perceived because uhh he's a very minor character canonically and we know little about him but an overwhelming majority of the fandom see him as being more masc anyways so) against him to use him as a cheap brute in their badly written fics (ok my fics are bad too but still).

Like there's nothing wrong with showing the brutal and dark side of nations, trust me I love that (I love seeing nations covered in blood <3) but when an author portrays one particular character or group of characters that way and you scroll through their other fics and headcanons or whatnot and they don't have this brutal depiction of any other character, or worse, they make excuses as to why another character is not being portrayed this way by them? It screams racist.

When I say "they make excuses as to why another character is not being portrayed this way by them?" I mean when people depict Wang Yao, for example, as being an evil 3thnic cl3anser and a shill for the "seeseepee‼️" but then turn around and say "uwu no Germany/America are so unproblematic and liberal!"

Or when people portray Mongolia to be an evil, one dimensional barbarian because of the Mongol empire but depict Russia as a forever-child despite the far more recent Russian conquest of Siberia and central Asia.

Like again I'm absolutely fine with nations being depicted as more morally grey and showing how they can inflict brutality (I'm edgy I love that sh!t ) , but there's an obvious bias in the fandom when it comes to who gets portrayed that way or not.

I don't hate rochu as a ship and I don't collectively have rochu shippers but being in this fandom for as long as I have I've seen a lot of stuff which has really annoyed me.

[stephschoices]

what if i told you i am in love with your felix and sparks mcs? i saw your pinterest and got weak knees, they are so perfect both in their own ways. you dont mind hc about your mcs? - i needed to send it anon because i almost died typing it but i had to share

🥺 this is so sweet anon ahhh ty for loving my paved in ashes ( @pavedinashes-if ) girls 🫶🏻💞

Some headcanons below!! And I know you just mentioned indigo and beatrix but I included some saskia hcs too I hope that’s okay 🥰 I don’t talk about her as much as the other two but she’s here too lol

indigo (felix li):

loves going sunflower picking

paints her old boards, and new ones if they're too plain. will also do commissions for other people to pain their boards!

also likes to make her own pins, and crochets things. she's just really artsy.

made many matching bracelets for her x felix, and also her x the bestie. she will be making some for her x bianca too lol

loves anything yellow

has a big teddy bear plush felix got her that stays on her bed :')

also she kept and still wears that neclace :')

listens to kpop, always has a pc of her biases in her phone case

likes to sing karaoke

shes like the mom of the skate park, she keeps a mini first aid kit for scrapes and bruises in her bag

hasn't been with anyone since felix broke up with her, she still loves him, and tbh doesn't get when other people are flirting with her lol

beatrix (sparks li):

loves to dye her hair edgy colors, it's been bright red for a while and she just added the black streaks recently

hates being called "bea", if you use a nickname it has to be "trix"

she's gonna do one of the performer jobs or the closest job to being a performer in D's club

always has a bag of edible gummies on her, her preferred way to get high

has suminagashi style tattoos. one on her back, one on her leg and a small one on her side

can skate in heels

wants a cat so bad

when she wants something she gets it, super good cunning/charming/manipulation skills

will steal all of sparks sweatshirts/hoodies uwu

saskia (michael li):

clumsiest skateboarder you'll ever meet. has broken many bones and twisted an ankle multiple times. but she's having a good time

somehow has also broken multiple boards

loves going thrifting

has a huge sticker collection

drinks 1 monster a day

is just naturally cool, everyone wishes they were as chill as her lol

doesn't realize how flustered she makes michael, she'll just like casually subconsciously put her hands in his shirt and be like "?? why is your face so red???" lmaoo

link to picrew used

[beevean]

(Feel free to ignore this if you don't want to talk about IDW Sonic! /gen) I don't know if you've seen the solicits for issues 63 and 64 yet, but... yikes. I'm happy Silver is getting more focus, but it honestly feels as if they're just going the Archie Sonic route with him being kind of a literal dumbass jumping to conclusions left and right? In itself I don't mind that, I think it does suit Silver to immediately undertake action without thinking things fully through, but it's how the other characters (are going to) react to it. The fact that the solicit for issue 64 already says "Awkwardness ensures." is promptly giving me second-hand embarrassment, and it hasn't even come out yet! I really don't want another situation wherein everyone is going to jump down Silver's throat (*flashing back to Sonic dragging him by his quills through the town towards Antione in the hospital*) because of the narrative presenting him as an idiot who accuses others without proof and like a dumbass (even if Silver is right; I'm pretty sure it's already confirmed the blue cat dude is Mimic in disguise. I'm not sure if IDW Sonic the comic can be trusted for the others to put a genuine apology towards Silver when this comes to light.). It honestly makes me kind of sad that Silver might get reduced to just being The Dumb Overeager Guy Being Rude To Others And Who Everyone Thinks Is Stupid in this way, not to mention all the weirdness of him getting in the way of the Diamond Cutters and being an overeager fanboy despite having been perfectly able to work together with Whisper at the end of the Metal Virus arc (and, you know, being an immensely powerful psychic and stuff). The comic already went this route in issue 8, why are they dragging it up again despite having shown things that can definitely be interpreted as the contrary in issues 26 and 28?

Just something that has been on my mind ever since I read those solicits, and wanted to get off my chest😅

Stuck in the past with no clear directive, Silver decides to spend some time with the Diamond Cutters and their new member. But he’s too busy being star-struck over Whisper to notice that he’s interrupting their training! Elsewhere, Sonic takes Blaze sightseeing so she can enjoy her vacation.

This issue is all about Silver the Hedgehog! First, he's incredibly suspicious of the Diamond Cutters' new member and he jumps to a conclusion that leads him to some hasty accusations. Awkwardness ensues. Then, Blaze comforts Silver as they bond over being away from home and in Sonic's world.

I'm honestly surprised that they even remembered that Silver is a Whisper fanboy. Remember when people shipped Silvisper and Blazangle, before Whispangle fused together? Good times lol

Yeah, this plot is going to be cringe in the real sense of the word. I hate when the story is about characters making fool of themselves, and Silver is about to be a uwu cute but annoying idiot in #63, and a Mr. Conspiracy Theory (who was actually right all along) in #64? Miss me with that.

Remember when Silver kicked the entirety of Sonic's ass and came close to murder him in cold blood? I do. Silver is not an edgy murder machine and sure I can believe he's happier now, but come on, do something more with him than turn him into the cute child of the group!

Also didn't Silver already have a conversation about being stuck in the past in the 2022 annual, with Espio? A much more interesting interaction since the two have only been paired together in Rivals 2 of all things? Ah, but then again, if they're rehashing Archie, sure why not :V yay can't wait to see Sonic being an utter jerkass to Silver <3

And why oh why did you have to remind me of how awful Tangle's apology to Whisper was 😭 I hate that scene so much

... I hope they'll show Sonic and Blaze having fun on Frog Forest. I love Frog Forest 🥺 please just have two characters having fun on their own

[brownieracha]

The college experience

Pairing: OC x Lee Know

Genre: college au, angst

wc: 9.5 K

A/N: This is my fic for the clownracha fic exchange (so excited!!) and I got @simpracha as the person I had to write for!!! So the main character is kinda based on Doe uwu (look I tried). My first idea was something completly different, too complicated for me since is the longest fic i've ever wrote, so I hope you like what I ended up writting hehe. I wrote it with all my love <3 I really hope you like it ♥

Sumary: This is your typical enemies to lovers (or at least I've tried lol), where Jess wanted to have her typical college experience, but it got ruined by Lee Know. (i'm sorry i'm bad with summaries)

Tags: @simpracha @wooyussy @georgenootfound

“But I want you to go too” Chaeryeong looks at me with puppy eyes. “It’s not going to be as fun if you don’t come.” I simply sip on my coffee without giving her an answer.

“Come on Jess!” Yeji insists. “We’re going as a group, if you don’t go, we’re not going.”

For the last (seemingly never ending) 10 minutes, they’ve been trying to convince me to go to this random party they heard of on campus. I really, really don’t feel like going. I tell them so.

Also I have way too many unfinished assignments.

“What do you mean if she doesn’t go, we’re not going?” Lia blurts “This is my opportunity to talk to him!” She turns to look at me “Jess please.” I sigh.

I’m seriously about to get dragged to a party just so Lia can flirt with whoever her new crush is this week. I just wanted to have a nice coffee before class and now I’m finding myself trapped in this conversation. Perfect timing for someone to take me out, I think. Violently, preferably.

I really don’t want to go to this frat party. Where’s a bus driver charging at full speed when you need it?

Yeji looks at me with puppy eyes, and I wince. I’m far too easy for them. Their puppy eyes fill with excitement, and they know they’ve almost got me to go.

“I have to think about it” I settle with.

“Oh my god, guess who’s also coming to the party” We look at Ryunjin, who is showing us a random group chat. All we can see is a ofc I’m going! from a random number.

“Girl, I don’t know people by their phone number? Who’s that?” I squint. trying to get a good look at the profile picture.

“Someone you might be interested in.” She wiggles her eyebrows.

If my face could, it would turn into one big exclamation mark with two big fat red circles for cheeks. The girls start giggling when they notice.

“So now you have to come to the party.” Yuna says. “It’s your opportunity to flirt with Hoongjoong” I turn redder, if that was possible.

“Can you keep your voice down? I don’t need the whole building to know I have a crush on him, jeez.” I get up and grab my things. “I’m going to the library now to finish some homework, because I guess we’re going to that party.” I finish putting my things away and I put my jacket on. “But as soon as I feel uncomfortable, we’re leaving.” They all nod.

***

Later that day we all met at Chae, Lia and Yuna’s apartment to get ready all together. We all bring our backpacks with different outfits and makeup because we love getting ready together and sharing clothes. We start drinking and blasting our favorite songs while we look through outfit options. After a couple of hours of laughing and trying on clothes, we end up a little tipsy, but we do end up being ready enough to leave the flat.

Ryunjin is wearing a pair of black cargo pants, paired with a dark blue butterfly top and white platform sneakers. Lia and I are both wearing dresses (mine is red and hers is black), and we’re both wearing the same black converse model. Chae is wearing a beautiful pink skirt with a white crop top and golden heels. Yeji and Yuna end up wearing a very similar outfit, all black, edgy vibes, paired with a leather jacket each.

At last, we arrive at the house where the party is taking place. As soon as we go inside the - host? designated rando? - offers us some drinks.

“What’s in here?” I ask, smelling the cup. The smell of alcohol hits my nose in return, strong enough to make it twitch.

The boy who just gave us the cups shrugs his shoulders and goes back into the kitchen. Oh, okay then.

“If I were you, I would rather drink out of the bathroom sink.” We hear a manly voice next to us.

“Stinks from here, girls. ” I look to my left and see three men standing next to us.

“Woo!” Ryunjin goes to hug the red haired one. “What the hell? I haven’t seen you in a minute! I missed you!” They hug.

The red-haired man is well known by us, he’s been friends with Ryunjin since she started college. They’re both majoring in dance, but Wooyoung is two years older than her, so they don’t go to classes together. 

“You know, I’ve been here and there, doing lots of stuff.” He shrugs with a smile, looking between us and his friends. “Let me introduce you to my friends, but I think you already know them.” He smiles. “He’s my best friend San.” Ryunjin laughs and San winks at her. “And this is Hoongjoong.”

As soon as he introduces the last boy, I feel an elbow poking my side, and I give Yeji a warning look. Zero subtlety, this girl has. Can’t fathom the idea that not everyone wants to be put on blast in front of their crush and an entire frat.

I’ve had a crush on Hoongjoong since I first started college - he was three courses ahead of me and he was one of the students that came into our class the first day to tell us about the course. He even offered his help with anything we could’ve needed. Ever since then -  since hearing how passionate he was about producing and writing music, I’ve felt naturally drawn to him.

The conversation runs smoothly from there. After introducing ourselves, we converge in a relaxed half-circle by the left far corner of the room. It’s fun, and I laugh at the retelling of my friends’ adventures in college and the venture of adult life.

A good thirty minutes must’ve gone by, when Lia and Yuna excuse themselves.

“We’re going to try and find Jeongin.” Yuna informs. “Let’s hope today’s Lia’s lucky day.” She winks, making everyone laugh. And with that they go into the living room.

The group falls into a short-lived silence, not uncomfortable. I take one look at the inside of my cup - I still haven’t thrown it away, I don’t know why. To my right, I faintly register Woo and Ryunjin catching up.

“Jess, right?” Hoongjoong says next to me. “I remember you from your first day. You were asking a lot of questions. You were so eager to start doing things” he smiles at me. My knees nearly buckle when he does.

“Yeah, I’ve always loved music. Ever since I was very little. I started playing the piano when I was a child. My parents say I always had some kind of music on.” I smile. “And if I wasn’t, I’d just make the music myself. I still do that - it’s like my brain is a living jukebox.”

I get a little shy - I usually do, when I’m talking about myself. I instinctively look down. “I ended up settling for a music major, it made sense for me. I have a hard time expressing myself sometimes, but - not with my music.” I look back at him. His eyes look soft around the edges, and I grin back at him. “Plus, it would be cool to make music that means something to someone. Music makes me happy - I want to give that happy back.”

“It’s kind of the same for me” he replies, and he’s still smiling as he does. I repress the urge to sigh lovingly - that would be embarrassing. “Ever since I started writing music, I’ve been able to express my feelings better, and-”

“And he can spend days in the studio working on a song. He’s a bit obsessive about it” a tall man appears behind him and hugs him by the waist. “I have to drag him out of the studio more often than I should.” He laughs. Hoongjoong looks down, biting his lip to repress a smile.

He’s so fucking cute.

“That’s not true.” Hoongjoong whines.

Suddenly, the other man grabs him by the chin, turning his face. Oh.

They look at each other for a couple of seconds. They’re not even doing anything, but I get the insane urge to turn around and avert my gaze. Oh wait.

The feeling flares as the taller man closes the space between them and kisses Hoongjoong.

Well. Fuck.

“Seonghwa! You made it!” Wooyoung greets the tall man. When they hear him, they separate from each other. They greet each other and Wooyoung introduces us to Seonghwa, who apparently is Hoongjoong’s boyfriend.

And apparently, they’ve been together for 2 years now. How could I not know this?

I can feel Yeji, Ryunjin and Chae staring at me from the corner of my eye. Fuck, I’m feeling properly embarrased right now. If I don’t leave right now I’m going to throw up all over Chae’s fancy shoes.

I say goodbye to everyone quickly and go try to find Lia and Yuna. I hope Lia has had more luck than me tonight.

I go into the living room trying to find my friends, but when I turn the corner, I run into a slightly taller man. I immediately stop before I crash into him. I look up to see who he was and apologize for not looking where I was going. To my surprise I find someone I wish I wouldn’t never have met.

“Oh hey, sorry, I didn’t see you there.” I say, and I try to get away.

“Hey! Jess! Wait!” I hear him calling me while I was leaving. “Wait! Can we talk?” I hear him coming behind me.

“I don’t have anything to talk with you” I turn around to face him. “You already said enough  a while ago, Minho.” And with that I turn back around and go away as fast as I can. I really don’t want to talk to him or even be in his presence.

Instead of looking for my friends I decide that it is a good time to go home. Alone. I don’t want to be here anymore. Seeing him reminded me of why I don’t like going to parties. I walk out of the house, and I see my friends as I’m leaving, but they don’t see me, so I decide to leave without bothering them.

Once I get home, I look in the mirror and I see that my makeup has smudged, I didn’t notice I was crying on the way here. I take of the rest of the makeup, put my pajamas, and get into bed, ignoring the calls and messages from my friends. Tomorrow would be a better day. I’m hoping.

The next morning the sun wakes me up, I check my phone to look at the hour and I see the messages from the group chat and calls from the girls.

I call them in order to tell what happened at the party. I press the videocall button and wait, not for too long because they immediately pick up the phone. Since Ryunjin and Yeji share a bedroom at the dorm, they appear on the same screen. They both look okay, they are the responsible ones, I’m guessing they didn’t drink much yesterday. On another screen I see Chae and Yuna, they look a bit hungover. I see myself on the screen and I wasn’t expecting to look this bad. Apparently, I didn’t take off my makeup very well yesterday.

“Woah Jess, are you okay?” Chae asks, “You look like you didn’t sleep well.” I see her worried face.

She’s not wrong though. I couldn’t sleep last night as I wanted to, all because I kept remembering all that happened last year. I was convinced I was over everything, but apparently, I’m not.

“Where’s Lia?” She’s not answering the video call and I don’t see her on Chae and Yuna’s screen. Then I remembered she was the one that wanted to go to the party to flirt with Jeongin, so I’m guessing she was lucky last night.

“Well, she hasn’t come home yet.” Yuna says, waving her eyebrows. So, I was right, she was luckier than me last night. I feel so happy for her, she’s had a crush on Jeongin since we first started college.

“Hey girls” Lia appears on the screen.

“Omg speaking of the devil. Where are you?” Yeji asks. She opens her eyes wide when she realizes.

“Do I have to say it, or do you already know what happened?” Lia whispers. We all laugh. “Let me go to the bathroom so I can talk.”

Once we’re all more calm with Lia’s news, I start telling them what happened. Since Yuna and Lia weren’t there when we met Seonghwa, I told the whole story.

“… so, when they kissed, I went to look for Yuna. And when I was going into the living room, I almost crashed into…” I stop.

“No dramatic pauses, Jess!” Chae exclaims.

“…Minho” They all become silent for a minute. They all know how much he hurt me.

It all happened when I first started college, I was so excited to meet new people, and to party. The whole college experience.

That’s when I met the girls, in my first year. I met Yeji, Lia and Yuna in class, we were paired together for a group project, and we instantly became friends. With that we started to go to parties, and we met Chae and Ryunjin. Yeji and Ryunjin were friends before that because they were sharing a room at the dorm, and Chaeryeong and Ryunjin had met each other in class. They were both doing a dance major. And with that we started going to a lot of parties together and meeting new people at every party we went to. That’s how we met Minho.

One party we went to was at this big house in which eight people lived. We were invited to it because three of our classmates lived there, Han, Changbin and Bangchan. They were known as 3Racha, and they were kind of famous in college for their music. They knew each other before going to school and they were already producing some music. So naturally I talked to them early on when I started the music major. Han and I instantly became friends, and that’s how we got invited to that party where I met the rest of that friend group. They were all very nice, Felix and Hyunjin shared classes with Ryunjin and Chaeryeong so they already knew each other. Minho was also a dance major, but he was older than them. In that party is where Lia met Jeongin and she’s had a crush on him since then.

When I first met Minho, he was nice, and since he was older than us, he showed us around. He made sure we were always safe, and he was almost like our protector. Or that’s what I believed. I started to spend more time with him and his friends, and with all that the eight of them and the six of us became close friends.

One day after a party I started to realize that I was falling for him. I told the girls how I felt about him, and they all encouraged me to go and tell him about my feelings. I wasn’t confident about it until one night.

I decided to talk with him about my feelings and maybe ask him out. I was convinced and maybe a little tipsy. So, I went over where he was, and asked him if I could talk to him in private, since he was with two friends, Han, and another boy that I didn’t know. To my surprise his response was a laugh. I was very confused, because we have talked in private before and I didn't really understand what was going on. I took a deep breath and tried again to make him come with me to talk privately. He didn’t even look at me and started laughing, again, with this other boy and all I heard was “I told you man”. I looked at Han, not knowing what was going on, trying to look for an explanation. I was starting to be mad at him, I wasn’t understanding his behavior. Han looked at me with compassion in his eyes.

“Look, I know you’re obsessed with me or whatever” What! I couldn’t believe what Minho was saying. I’d never seen him behave like that before, he was always nice with all of us, even with me when we were alone. I wasn’t falling for him for nothing. “Do you really think I was interested in you? God, you’re so naïve. Not everyone being nice to you means that they want you.”

I start feeling like i’ve never felt before, my heart was broken and I was humiliated. I paralyzed, not knowing what to do, not even realizing that tears had started forming in my eyes

The other boy and Minho started laughing and Han got up to hug me.

“Man, you’ve fucked up this time, I don’t even recognize you.” Han took me with my friends and told them what had happened, as I wasn’t able to speak. I wasn’t, my brain was still not processing what had just happened. I was really shocked. I wasn’t expecting a love confession from him, I only wanted to talk to him in private. And if he really wasn’t interested, I thought he would have told me in a kinder way. I was sad and mad at him. With that I decided that I didn’t want to go to another party if he was there. I didn’t want to see him anymore. My feelings were hurt. The next day he tried to come and talk to me, but Yeji and Ryunjin didn’t allow that to happen.

I lost contact with some of the boys, since I didn’t attend any of their parties that year. I only talked to 3Racha when we were in class, and I never came across Minho again. Not until last night.

“And when I saw him all the feelings came back, I thought I had forgotten what he had done.” I feel the tears starting to fall from my eyes. “But I guess I can’t forgive him for what he did.” I start crying. 

“Well, fuck him.” Lia said, after they all stayed silent for a minute. “Let’s go grab breakfast all together and I’m sure you’ll feel better.” I smile at her words.

I get up from my bed to get ready for breakfast with them. Being with them always cheered me up when I’m feeling down. So that’s exactly what I needed right now.

Half an hour later we all meet at our regular café place, I’m the last one to arrive there. When I get to the table where they all were I get hugged by all of them at the same time. My tears threaten to start coming again.

“If you need to cry, do it Jess. You’ll feel better after it.” Yeji says after looking at my face.

I laugh while a single tear drops down my cheek.

“I don’t want to waste another tear on that jerk, he doesn’t deserve it.” They laugh. I feel safe with them.

“Of course, girl, he doesn’t deserve anything from you.” Ryunjin holds me by my shoulder as we sit side by side.

“Let’s change the topic, shall we?” Chae claps her hands together. “Ryu, how was last night?” She waves her eyebrows.

“Ryu?!” I turn to my side to look at her. Ryunjin turns red. Another one that was lucky last night. I can’t help but feel a bit hurt, but happy for them. I wish things were easier for me, but since that night I hadn’t had luck with love.

“Well…” Ryunjin starts speaking, turning redder every second, “I met someone…and” she giggles.

“Can you go straight to the point already, please?”

“Chaeryeong, don’t be impatient.” Yeji laughs. “But, who, who did you meet?”

“I met a girl, a really cute girl and we talked for a while” she stops, her face is the reddest I’ve ever seen her. She’s always confident when it comes to flirting and talking about it. “And she kissed me” Ryunjin covers her face with both hands.

“Wow, you must really like her! I’ve never seen you like this.” Yuna chuckles. “Who is this mysterious girl? Do you have pictures?”

Ryunjin shows us her Instagram.

We stay together until lunch time, talking about different things and laughing a lot. At this point I’ve forgotten about Minho and everything that happened last night. I go home to eat something feeling so much better.

Minho POV

I hadn’t seen Jess since last year, so running into her at the party was weird for me. After being so close last year, until I fucked up. I feel so sorry for what I did to her, all I want to do is apologize. So, when I saw her at the party, that was my plan. I overheard the boys saying that she and the girls would be at the party, so I thought that was the perfect opportunity to talk to Jess. But when she ran away from me, I knew this wasn’t going to be easy. I feel so bad for the words I said to her, I really wasn’t thinking and maybe a little drunk. Which doesn’t justify what I did. I wasn’t expecting her to forgive me, but she deserved an apology from me, at least that. I also needed to do it, I needed to heal from my past, and she was the last person I had to apologize to.

The day after I told Jess the horrible things I did, the boys sat me down because they were done with my behavior. I was mad at them because it was none of their business how I behaved.

“I’m old enough for you to tell me how to behave.”  I left the conversation. they were no one to lecture me. But then the next day Han came into my room, and we had a long conversation. I said horrible things to him, and he did to me. We both ended up crying, and when I saw my best friend crying for the stupid things that were leaving my mouth is when I realized that I needed to do something. I apologized to all the boys for what I said the day before, and they helped me find a therapist. Because that’s what I needed.

One year after I changed. And I realized how much I hurt one of the few people that cared about me. That’s why knowing she was going to be at the party was the perfect opportunity for me.

“So, were you able to talk to her?” Han approached me minutes after she ran away from me.

“I didn’t” I look at the floor. “I fucked up so bad, I wasn’t expecting her to forgive me. But what I wasn’t expecting was her running away. I feel worse than before, she deserves an apology.”

“Take it easy and expect her to run away from you.” Han puts his hand on my shoulder “You really hurt her feelings. You can’t picture how miserable she was after what you told her.” Han was still close to her since they shared classes.

“I know! I just want to tell her how sorry I am.” I look down. “I’m going home.”

On my way home I kept thinking about Jess' reaction, and it was clearer that she deserved the apology as soon as possible. The best option to get to talk to her was trying to see her at college. And that was my plan.

A couple of days have gone by since the party and I’ve already forgotten about it. Life went back to normal, going to class and spending time with the girls.

I was going to meet them at the cafeteria after finishing my classes for the day. So after putting all my stuff in my bag and saying goodbye to my classmates, I went there. None of them were there when I arrived so I went to a table and sat there, waiting for them. Suddenly I heard someone pulling the chair next to me, so I look up from my phone, thinking that it was one of the girls. To my surprise I see Minho sitting next to me.

“What are you doing here?” I ask in a serious voice.

“Listen, I want-”

“I don’t care, because I don’t want to listen.” And with that I get up from my chair in order to leave. I don’t need to listen to anything he has to say. He will hurt my feelings once again.

“But, Jess, please-” He looks up, and for a moment I feel sorry for him. But I have to be strong, I’m not willing to go through the same thing I went through last year.

“I’m sorry but I don’t have anything to talk to you about, so please leave me alone.” I go, without looking back at him.

As soon as I’m out of the cafeteria I look for a bench and I sit down. I unlock my phone and look for the group chat to ask the girls if we could meet somewhere else.

I don’t want him near me for now. Seeing him is opening old wounds I thought were closed.

For a moment I felt like he had changed, that he wanted to go back to where we were before. But then I remembered the pain I felt when he said those mean words to me. I will never forget, as much as I want to. I start to remember the good times that we had together as friends, and I start to feel furious. A single tear drops down my cheek.

A few moments later they all arrive at the coffee shop we talked about. When we all have our coffee, I decide to explain what happened, since none of them wanted to ask me why the sudden change.

“So,” I start, finding it hard to explain. Lia, who’s sitting next to me grabs my arm trying to calm me down. “I- He-.” I clear my throat before continuing. “He came up to me, to talk with me.” I finally say.

“Who? Minho?” Ryunjin exclaims. “What did he want?”

“I don’t know” I shake my head. “I didn’t want to talk to him” I look down. “When I saw him there, I thought that he had changed for a moment. Then every bad memory came to mind, so I ran out. I don’t know what he wanted.” I look up again just to see Yeji’s worried face,

“Are you okay?” She asks.

I don’t know what to answer, I’m not really sure. I’m feeling so many things that I’m not sure.

“I truly don’t know” I hold back the tears that are trying to escape my eyes. “I thought I was, until he tried to talk to me.”

“Maybe he wanted to apologize.” I look at Chaeryeong as she said the craziest thing I’ve heard in a while. “I’m just saying! Don’t look at me like that. I know how much he hurt you, but maybe he’s changed.”

“I don’t want to keep talking about him, let’s do something else, please.” I say.

We end up chatting about more fun things. Since Yuna’s birthday was coming soon, we were planning a party.

“We don’t have to throw a big party if you don’t want Jess. I wouldn’t want you to feel uncomfortable.” She looks at me and grabs my hand. “I want all of us to have fun.” She squeezes my hand.

“I’ll be okay, really!” I know Yuna loves going to big parties and what better way to celebrate her birthday other than throwing a big party for her. “I think it will be fun actually.”

And I do think that I would have so much fun at that party. I’ll be with my friends, having a nice time without worrying about anything else. I just hope this party goes better than the last one. At least for me.

“Okay class, we’re going to do a project about music through history. This time I’ll make the pairs so there’s no problems this time.” The teacher looks over his glasses. He looks back at the paper he’s holding between his hands. “I’ll pin this paper on the board so you can take a look at the pairings for this project.” He does that and as soon as he gets away from the board, we all go to check it out.

“Jess!” I hear a voice behind me as I’m checking the paper. “We’re together!” I turn around just to see Han’s smiley face.

We get away from the people that are still checking the paper and we sit together.

“We’re going to do the best project.” Han claps excited. “I’m so happy that I get to do a project with you.” He hugs me from the side.

“Yes!” His excitement is contagious. I’m happy that he’s my partner for this project and not someone I don’t know that well. “We should meet up and decide on how we’re doing this.”

Suddenly his phone starts ringing. “I’m sorry I have to pick it up.” He gets up. “I’ll text you later.” He says as he goes out of the class.

I get up and go back to where I was sitting before, next to Yeji, Lia and Ryunjin. I find Lia and Yeji there.

“Who did you get for the project?” I ask them.

“We’re together for this project!” Lia exclaims. “We were so lucky. What about you? Who did you get?”

“Han! I’m happy to do a project with him to be honest.” I smile, remembering how excited he was to be paired with me. He was one of my best friends but after the Minho incident we hadn’t talked much, but I knew he was always there for me if I needed it.

We go where Ryunjin was talking to a boy from class I don’t recognize, it must be who she has to do this project with.

“We’re going to the cafeteria, are you joining us?” I ask her, hugging her from the side.

“I’ll go in a second, grab me a coffee please.” She hugs me back, and then turns back to keep talking to her project partner.

As soon as we get into the cafeteria, we see Chae and Yuna at a table, so we join them. We all order our coffees and Ryunjin’s. The latest join us five minutes later.

“What were you talking about?” She asks as soon as she sits down and leaves her things on the floor next to her.

“Yuna’s party.” Lia replies. “We have almost every detail planned.” We all nod.

“I have to say that I’m very excited to do this.” Yuna giggles. “It’s going to be epic.” We laugh. She always gets excited to go partying. A few minutes later I hear my phone and I check it, just to see that Han has messaged me about meeting up for the project. I unlock my phone to reply while they keep talking about the party.

I lock my phone and go back to the conversation with the girls about Yuna’s party. We have to plan this well.

“We can go tomorrow to pick up decorations.” Chae suggests.

“I can’t, I’m going to Han’s to do this project about music through history that we have to do together.” I reply. “Can you go without me? I could pick up the cake the day of the party.”

They all agree on that. The party will take place in two weeks at Yuna’s so we still have time to put everything together without forgetting about classes and homework.

Minho POV

I go inside the restaurant where Han and I decided to meet for dinner. After a day full of things, mostly classes and homework, what I need the most is to talk to my best friend. I’m still thinking about the interaction I had with Jess the other day.

When I saw her sitting alone at the university cafeteria, I thought it would be the perfect time to talk with her. And for a second I thought she had somehow forgiven me, for a moment she seemed like she wanted to listen to me. Just for a second. Then she ran away from me once again. I felt a pain in my chest when she did, when she went away without giving me a chance to apologize. When I felt that I realized that she must have felt like that when I rudely rejected her.

“Hey!” Han waves me from the booth he’s sitting at. I wave back and I go there to sit in front of him. “Are you okay?” He asks me as soon as he looks at me.

“Tired day, just that.” I sigh. “I had two different dance classes and that’s exhausting. And after that I had to study and work on a project. I have no energy left to be honest.” I rub my face with both hands.

“Are you sure that’s it? Minho, I know you and I know something is bothering you.” He does know me well. Damn. “It’s this about Jess, isn’t it?” Han is the only one who know how sorry I am for how I behaved last year. He knows what I felt for Jess, and how I fucked up because I didn’t know how to manage my feelings.

“It is about her.” I look down. “I feel awful for what I did.” I look back.

“Did something new happen?” I still haven’t told him about the other day at the cafeteria.

I nod, and I tell him about it. I also tell him how I’m feeling. As I’m telling him that I realize how easy it would have been knowing how to communicate my feelings. If only I knew how to a year ago, good thing the boys made me search for a therapist. I wish I perceived that I had a problem and I had to go earlier in life.

“You have to give her time. She was devastated when you did that. You’ll have to wait until she wants to hear you.” He was there for her, since they were good friends. “For now, keep trying, but don’t push it if she doesn’t want to talk to you. You don’t want her to hate you even more.” He laughs nervously. I know he feels awkward talking about this, and I would feel too.

I stay silent for a few minutes, thinking about everything. About how to approach her in a way she’ll feel comfortable if she can ever feel that way with me again.

“I guess I’m feeling guilty because she didn’t deserve to get her college experience fucked up by me and my stupid decisions.”

“We’ve already discussed this, don’t do that. Self-pity is not going to fix the past, you have to work on the future.”

Next day arrives and I wake up earlier than usual. I have to clean my apartment before going to Han’s house. I hate every second of it, waking up early has never been my thing. I always stay up late finishing stuff that needs to get done.

An hour goes by, and my apartment is somewhat clean, at least clean enough to me. I pack my things and go out to catch the bus to meet Han. Before going into the house, I buy two coffees since I know Han is not a morning person either and his energy is going to be low.

Just a moment before ringing the bell I realize that, if I’m going to be here, Minho is probably going to be around. I take a deep breath putting myself together, he cannot dictate where I can feel or not feel comfortable. I decided at that very moment that he doesn’t matter anymore, that he can’t hurt my feelings again. He doesn’t matter. Did it take me going back to his house to realize that? Probably, and I should have come to the conclusion earlier. But that doesn’t matter anymore.

I ring the bell and I hear voices inside. I can recognize Changbin’s loud voice, so I’m guessing he’s going to open the door. Seconds later I’m greeted by him, opening the door as I predicted.

“Hey Jess!” I hug him, and he hugs me tightly. “Come inside, Han is upstairs.” When I enter their house, I see Bangchan sitting on the sofa, so I go towards there to greet him.

“Jess! How have you been?” He gets up to hug me. I’ve missed this so much. I shouldn’t have distanced myself from them.

“I’ve been good.” I smile. Is this lying? I don’t think it is, technically I’ve been good. And bad. “I should probably go upstairs, I bet Han is waiting for me.”

“Or maybe he’s asleep again.” I hear Changbin shouting as I’m going up the stairs. I laugh.

I knock on Han’s door and enter his room, still laughing.

“What’s so funny?” He asks, turning his head to look at me. He was sitting on the floor, with his back resting on the back of the bed. I go sit next to him, giving him a coffee. “Thanks.” He smiles. He looks tired, he had probably pulled an all-nighter.

“Nothing, just Binnie.” I say between laughs. I put my backpack on the floor in front of me and I take out my laptop and a notebook. “Yesterday I was looking at the notes the professor gave us, and I figured out how we can distribute the work so it’s easier.” I hand him the notebook where I drew a diagram on which part of the project we have to do.

We get into it pretty quickly, just talking when we have any doubts about the information we’re finding. An hour and a half later we have pretty much all the information we need. We just have to put it together and make it look presentable.

“Come in!” Han says after hearing a knock on the door. Right after that Felix’s head pops through the door.

“Hi. I baked some brownies. Do you want to try them?” He offers a plate full of them to us. He’s so nice. I haven’t tried any of his brownies yet, but if they are as good as his cookies, I bet they’re going to taste amazing. “So, how’s your project going?” He sits on the floor in front of us while we eat his brownies.

“I think it’s going smoothly.” Han replies with his mouth full. “It shouldn’t take us long to finish it.” He looks at me and I nod, the project is easier than we both expected so it should be done fast.

“I will leave you then so you can concentrate.” Felix gets up and leaves the room, leaving the brownies for us.

After another hour we decide to stop. The project is almost finished, and we need to take a break.

“Oh, Jess.” I look up from my laptop to look at Han. “Do you want to listen to the last song we were working on?” I nod and he hands me an earphone.

I’ve always enjoyed 3racha’s music, and the whole process they go through to make new songs. I find it very interesting how the three of them manage to synchronize and make such good music. Since I’ve always worked on songs by myself, I find it hard to work with other people.

“It’s really good!” I exclaim after hearing what they’ve got so far. “Now I need to listen to the whole thing.” I look at Han and he laughs.

“I will show you as soon as we finish it. I’m glad you liked it.” He hugs me. I’m so happy that I got paired with him to do this project. This has made me realize how well we work together, and how much I like spending time with him. Fuck Minho for hurting me and making me distance myself from this wonderful people.

“I should get going.” I separate myself from the hug and start putting my stuff back in my bag. He gets up and goes downstairs with me.

When we get to the living room, I see an orange ball of fur looking at us, sitting on the edge of the sofa. I immediately go over there to try and pet the little cat, and he lets me do that.

“Hello, tiny!” I say as I’m rubbing his fluffy head.

“That’s Soonie, it’s Minho’s cat.” I slowly turn around to face Han, my face holds so many emotions and I can see he’s feeling those emotions.

“Don’t look at me like that Jess. I know how you’re feeling but maybe you should let him talk to you.” Rage. Rage is all I can feel right now. Soonie jumps from the sofa he was sitting on to go somewhere else.

“I don’t want to hear anything he has to say, he already said enough a year ago. Don’t you remember?” I spit out my words. I can’t believe he’s saying this to me, he saw how bad Minho made me feel, he was there. I thought he was on my side.

“He’s changed, he’s trying to be a better person.” I roll my eyes at his words “I do remember, but he’s also my friend. He was not in the best place and that doesn’t justify what he did, but at least let him explain.” He shrugs his shoulders. “It’s not my place to talk about this, this is between you and him. I don’t want to ruin our friendship, Jess.” He comes closer and hugs me.

Tears start forming in my eyes and I start crying, I have too many feelings right now to know how to manage them. I just want to go home, get in my bed and curl into a ball.

“Thank you.” I sob.

He separates from me without breaking the hug. “For what?”

“I don’t know, for being here.” I keep silently crying. “This has been too much for me, I don’t want to feel like this anymore.”

The day of Yuna’s party arrives and we’re all very excited. I’ve been feeling so much better after going to Han’s. We ended up talking about a lot of stuff and spending the rest of the day together, and I felt so much better after getting everything out of my chest. Since then, we have been keeping up with each other more, I’ve been to his house more often and I’ve hung out with the boys. All of them except Minho. The third time I went to their house I started to wonder where he was, because it was weird how every time I was there he mysteriously was missing, I mean, is still his house and I thought I would come across him there.

Since that day I’ve been thinking about what Han told me about Minho, not believing him that much. Not wanting to. But the thought that he might actually have changed never left my mind. What if Han was right? What if the boy I felt for was really there? I think subconsciously I didn’t want my feelings hurt again and that’s the reason why I didn’t want to believe Han. But deep deep inside I wanted to.

The party was going to take place at Yuna’s place, so we get there two hours before to get everything ready. Lia and I start placing all the decorations while Yeji and Ryunjin take care of the food and drinks. Chae makes sure to take Yuna out of the house to buy a nice birthday dress and get her hair done. Yuna wants to be the prettiest girl at the party, she wants to impress Jeongin even more. Since the last party they’ve been hanging out together more than usual, and we tease Yuna so much about it. Just like the boys tease Jeongin.

After the place is all decorated and everything is ready for the party to start, Chae and Yuna arrive there. We then start getting ready just like we used to do when going to parties, blasting our favorite songs, and having a fun time together. At nine o’clock people start arriving to the party, Jeongin, Seungmin and Felix being the first ones to arrive. As time goes by more and more people start coming and we start drinking.

“Hey!” I turn around just to see Han and Changbin coming to the kitchen, where I was alone, refilling my cup. “Jess!” Changbin hugs me. He smells like alcohol and cologne. Han goes straight where the drinks are and starts refilling his drink and Changbin’s.

“Don’t you think he’s had enough?” I ask Han, pointing my head to Changbin. Han shrugs his shoulders.

“Are you okay?” He gives me a side hug after Changbin releases me.

I nod while sipping my drink. “I’m doing amazing. I’m having fun with my friends.” I sip my drink again. Well, maybe I’m also a bit tipsy.

Changbin goes back to the living room, Han and I stay in the kitchen for a bit longer, talking and laughing. I don’t really know what joke that I’m laughing about, or if I even understood it. But I’m having so much fun with him.

“I should probably go back with my friends.” I say between laughs. He simply nods and we both go back to the living room.

For the next hour I dance with my friends to every song playing, we take pictures, laugh and in that moment, I feel like I went back to last year when I became friends with them, and we will all go to all the parties that we got invited to. I’ve missed this feeling.

“I’m going to the balcony; I need some air.” I shout to Yeji, and she gives me a thumbs up as a response.

I try to get through the people to get to the balcony and once I get there, I see someone is sitting in one of the chairs there. I don’t pay much attention to who is it and I sit at the other end of the balcony. After a few minutes sitting there, relaxing, I feel the boy that was sitting there come closer to me.

“Hey.” He says in a soft voice, and I immediately recognize him. I slowly turn my head up to look at him just to confirm my thoughts.

“Minho…” I keep looking at him.

“Please before running away, I want to talk to you. You don’t have to answer, you don’t even have to listen. I just need to get it out of my chest.” He looks devastated, and I don’t know if it’s because of what Han told me or if it’s because I’ve been drinking all night and I’m letting my guards down. But I decided to give him an opportunity to talk. He sits next to me.

“Go ahead.” I turn my head back front and keep looking at the view. I don’t want to look him in the eyes while he talks.

“Uh… I… I just want to start saying I’m sorry.” He stops for a few seconds; I look at him for a brief moment and he’s also looking forward. “I’m sorry for what I said that night, I shouldn’t have told you that, it was so mean and I’m really sorry.” I hear him taking a deep breath. “I didn’t even mean those words I said, I wasn’t thinking. And I don’t want to justify myself for what I did, I just think you deserve an explanation.” I turn to look at him, my heart wanting to give him an opportunity, wanting to believe he had actually changed. But my mind is still resistant to believe it. “I wasn’t in the right place mentally and the alcohol didn’t help. I was being mean to everyone, and I wasn’t realizing it. Not until it was too late, and I hurt you.” I see a tear going down his cheek, my first instinct is to hug him, but I retract myself and I don’t do it. “All the boys talked with me that night and at first, I didn’t want to believe that something was wrong with me and that I was hurting people who loved me. After arguing with everyone, Han was the only one that kept trying to make me come to senses. And after a few weeks I reached out for help and started seeing a therapist. I’m still trying to be better, and that’s why I needed to apologize.”

We stay silent for a few minutes, not knowing what to say or do. He then looks at me and my heart hurts, I’ve never seen him like that. His eyes are red and swollen and tears are coming down nonstop. I feel bad for him, I don’t know what he has gone through or what got him into the place he was last year, but now I know it must have been hard for him.

“You don’t have to forgive me but thank you for listening to me.” Minho gets up from the chair and starts walking to the door.

 “Wait!” I get up from the chair and try to stop him from going back to the party. “Thank you.” We keep looking into each other's eyes for a few seconds, just before I break eye contact and get into the party again.

I don’t know how to feel, I don’t feel rage anymore, I even feel sorry for him. I’m starting to understand why he acted how he did, that doesn’t mean I forgave him, but at least I feel better after he apologized.

The last few weeks I’ve been meeting up with Minho and talking more with him. I’ve seen him more often at the house when we went there to hang out with the boys, and we’ve been talking about everything. It’s like we went back to the beginning of last year, but better.

Since Minho had started seeing a therapist, and he had progressed, it made things way easier. He would communicate his feelings and if he wasn’t having a good week, he would just say it.

And that led us to going out on a date. It all started because he invited me over to watch Felix, Hyunjin and him filming a dance they had to do for a class project.

“You’re staring.” I snap back and turn my head up to look at who was talking to me. Turns out it was Hyunjin that was taking a water break. “You can’t keep your eyes off him, right?”

I really couldn’t, he looked so good while dancing that I couldn’t stop staring. My brain was going numb watching him dance and I was having many thoughts I’ve never had about him before.

“You like what you see?” Minho smirks. I didn’t hear him coming where we were. He sits next to me and grabs his water bottle. I smack his arm in response.

I see Hyunjin leaving to join Felix at the other end of the room.

“We should go on a date.” What. I turn to look at Minho. I can’t believe he’s asking me on a date.

“Huh?” That’s all I can say.

He looks at me and smiles, “do you want to?”

Well of course I want to! But it caught me by surprise, and I don’t seem to find the words to express it.

“You can say no if you don’t want to.” He smiles. His stupid smile is making me not think straight.

“No! I mean yes! I do want to.” He laughs. “Don’t laugh!” I smack his arm once again.

I lock my phone and start getting ready for the date. I open my closet and stare at it for a good five minutes, not knowing what I should wear. We’re going to go to a restaurant for dinner, it’s not a bougie restaurant but I still want to wear something nice, but I don’t want to be overdressed. I end up choosing a cute but cozy outfit, I’m going to be wearing a nice black pleaded skirt with a white turtleneck. Since it is cold outside I’m wearing a pair of warm thighs and a pair of white leg warmers covering the black boots I decided on wearing.

I finish the final touches of my hair and makeup, grab my purse and go down the stairs of my building, since Minho has just texted me, he’s waiting for me outside.

As I’m going down the stairs, I start to feel nervous. It hasn’t hit me until now, seconds away from meeting him, that we’re actually going on a date. I check myself once more in the mirror that’s on the hall of the building, before going out.

What should I do? Do I hug him? God, I feel so nervous. “Hi!” He turns to look at me and immediately hugs me. He smells super nice.

“Hi. You look amazing Jess.” He separates himself from me. He looks so handsome. “Let’s go?” I can feel he’s also a little bit nervous and weirdly that calms me down a little.

The walk to the restaurant feels a bit awkward since none of us is saying anything. Once we arrive at the restaurant, we go to the table they’ve assigned. It’s a really nice restaurant, it looks fancy. We order our food and when the waitress leaves our table, make eye contact, without saying a word.

“Hey.” I chuckle. “Are you good? Is everything okay?” He nods.

“I feel like if I talk this moment will vanish.” He says softly and I blush at his words.

“I won’t go anyway.” I giggle and look down.

Why i’m i feeling so shy? I’ve gone on dates before and I liked other people but no one has made me feel like he’s making me feel right now, and he doesn’t even know it.

After that the date goes smoothly, jumping from topic to topic, laughing and enjoying our meal. As the time passed we started to feel more relaxed and more comfortable with each other.

I can’t keep my eyes off him, he looks so handsome, all I want to do is run my hands through his silky hair and hug him tightly. When he smiles he’s the cutest, he looks like a bunny and I can’t help but to smile back when I see him smiling.

We finish having dinner and after arguing on who’s going to pay he ends up winning. “I asked you on a date so it’s only fair that I pay.” He says while putting on his coat and I pout. We walk out of the restaurant.

“Can we go on a walk before going home? Please?” I ask, I don’t want this night to end, I want to be with him for a bit more. He agrees on that and we start to walk in no specific direction, wavering around the dimly lit streets, enjoying each other’s company without pronouncing a word.

His hand brushes against mine twice before I decide to take the lead and hold his hand. His thumb starts rubbing circles on the back of my hand. I start to feel my heart going faster at his actions. We keep walking for a bit, still in silence, until we both stop. At the same time. Like the universe deciding we need to take a step further. I look at him, having to look a bit up since he’s a little bit taller than me, and I find him already looking at me.

“Jess…” That’s all he says right before I stand on my tip toes and kiss him, just a little kiss on the lips. I couldn’t not do it, his look was saying many things.

Then he holds me by my waist and pulls me closer, my hands go to rest behind his neck, having to stand on my tip toes once again. I can only hear my heart aggressively pounding. I close my eyes as he makes me come closer to him, and our lips collide. I bury my hands on his soft hair. Finally. He licks my bottom lip, asking for permission to deepen the kiss. I pull his hair a little, earning a whimper. We separate after a while, when we feel like we need to breathe.

I look at him and I feel happy, like no one has ever made me feel before.

[whentheynameyoujoy]

So I ran across your posts about purity discourse in the ASOIAF fandom and I could not agree more with. Sorry to rant, but it's really frustrating to come across a meta/theorycrafting post where the writer assumes Martin wrote this series with the sensibilities of a 20-something millennial who has spent years brainrotted off of tumblr sjw discourse and not a 50-something year old man who's formative years were in the free love 60s/70s lmao. The amount of times I see people say, 'No, he's consistently writing about incest and large age gaps as a critique of Society and Patriarchy and Grooming' and I just have to laugh. Martin is an old school liberal who writes about things for the hell of it and imo is a bit of a freak lol and uses his writing to explore taboo topics that are titilating. This is the same man who described Dr*go and D*ny's (who was 13 at the time) wedding night as a seduction. People thinking it's some dark psychological exploration of an abusive relationship but it's basically just a typical 80s fantasy trope of beautiful nubile princess sold to hunky barbarian and then they go on to fall in love after having round after round of hot sex lol. I'm not defending him for this take, I think it's deeply weird he couldn't even bear to depict her as at least 16/17, but I've long made peace with the fact he's a bit of freak lmao. This man had his original outline have the plot point of J*n and Ar*a falling in love, two people raised as siblings, with J*n having known Ar*a since she was literally in utero, but fandom thinks he's some ethics professor trying to teach lessons with his series. His protagonist being the result of a adulterous consensual affair between a 14 year old and a married man with two children who run off together being depicted as some star crossed Romeo and Juliet romance is weird as hell, but it's Martin lol. Instead of accepting this, we have people in fandom feeling the need to rationalize and frame every plot point into some woke moral lesson they are SO SURE he is giving his audience because they refuse to accept Martin is just a bit of Freak and writes about a lot of shit he wrote about to be Edgy lol. The amount of times I see metas about how J*n and Yg*itte was an abusive relationship/was sexual coercion and that's how Martin wants readers to see it SENDS me on another level. Martin wanted to write about J*n having his first sexual relationship and feeling conflicted about it because of his duty to the NW. The point of that relationship was Martin saying 'They fucked and it was hot and know J*n knows what he's missing out on in terms of pussy v. duty and his vows. The End.' LOL. TLDR - This fandom needing to headcanon moralize every fucking plot point instead of analyzing the text for what it is because they are embarrassed to like a series that is considered 'problematic' me crazy. It's just deeply intellectually dishonest.

All of this. If anyone wants to see just how in touch Martin is with the contemporary version of the social justice crowd, they're welcome to re-visit the 2020 Hugo Awards debacle. I mean, the man clearly didn't come up with the idea to do Beauty & Beast starring an 11 and 27 year old because he was years ahead of the grooming discourse, ffs. The ASOIAF basement is dank and stinky; you can either accept this as fact and analyze the stench, or gtfo. Sadly it seems like we're stuck with this "Martin so uwu" fandom since it's unlikely the series will ever get finished and the wool pulled off the audience's eyes.

[papirouge]

The thing about the white female killers you said, it's only a few edgy radfems and radfem orbiters simping for jodi arias and that woman who killed like 7 johns, but they literally don't bring any other up, regardless of race. You said white women never accept accountability because of this, but I can assure you the average white woman (or average person in general) has no idea who either of this women are. And if you look at the comment sections of videos about them, nobody is glorifying them or making excuses, including white women (they have their photos on their avatars).

However, this very few women are nothing compared to the much bigger fanbase of male killers, like Ted Bundy Jeffrey Dahmer or the Columbine shooters, who have both fangirls AND fanboys (to the point that many other serial killers and school shooters have cited these men as their inspirations.)

And lets not forget the OJ Simpson case, where big part of the black community was caping for him at the time, due to the racial tension it was provoking due to him being black and his two victims white. Nowadays, most people believe it was him, including a big part of the black community. Yet he was released and walks free.

Now, the only female killer I could say was kind of popular is Nevada-tan, but that was mostly on the japanese internet in the 2000 and 10's, though she's japanese and so is her victim (also a girl)

The thing about the white female killers you said, it's only a few edgy radfems and radfem orbiters simping for jodi arias and that woman who killed like 7 johns, but they literally don't bring any other up, regardless of race.

Anon, don't you find interesting they are only girl bossify White women criminals? Even if they don't say it explicitly, who they direct their attention to speaks louder than words.

Ask yourself why those White women don't provide the same rebranding to Black hood gang girls?

Don't you find interesting that no other non White female commuty has such movement making light of their fellow making crimes? Something something - White women are the most privileged community when it comes to (not) taking accountability therefore they can create whole movement where they romanticize literal criminals🙃

Look at what's they've done/doing with

Anna Delvey

Jodi Arias

Amber Heard

Elizabeth Holmes

....all those women are celebrated by delusional White women for their crime, doing pap campaigns to paint themselves as innocent uwu victims, PR threads, get movie/book deals (Delvey had a house party during her house arrest where influencers/celebrities attended!!)

... No other demographics criminals could afford such luxury & mediatic promotion

And dare I sayw even male criminal fans are looked like weirdo - but somehow females ones are tee-he-heee so quirky 🤪

Deep down they know what they're doing. Even when they do fucked up shit, you'll always find a handful of White Chicks being like "at least she was cute🥺" bc regardless what they say about emancipation, feminism, etc. White women collectively love leveraging their fragility and feminity to gloss over the fucked up shit their individual members do. Now, OF COURSE it's a generalization and OF COURSE reasonable White women exist (those in the comment section). But a collective analysis of a demographic can make sense.

I did the exact same when I called black men "fucked up" but interestingly it didn't shock anyone this time 🤔 that's why I think y'all lowkey faking outrage bc you got wired to be defensive of White women

The simple fact that I got a few anons getting shook about what I said about White women....while being absolutely unphased by what I said about Black men ironically illustrates even further my point lol

And lets not forget the OJ Simpson case, where big part of the black community was caping for him at the time, due to the racial tension it was provoking due to him being black and his two victims white. Nowadays, most people believe it was him, including a big part of the black community. Yet he was released and walks free.

You said it yourself, in times of racial tension, communities stick together even when women face misogyny. That's why I somehow understand Muslima wk Islam despite this religion being wired to breed abusers) bc of Islamophobia.

Meanwhile OJ walking free isn't the fact of Black women but more of a Black community thing. And Black women aren't out there babygirlyfying OJ.

[askskyverseandchill]

Introducing Ask Skyverse and Chill!

Sky: Hello internet! Skyverse and Chill crew here! Welcome to our new ask blog! We're all generally pretty new to this sort of thing, so please be patient and ask us anything! Anyways, I'm Sky! I'm just your average BF fangirl from one of the best mods! You've probably heard of me, so I won't linger too long. UwU Hey girls...and Skychi, go ahead and introduce yourselves! Skyblue: Oh, hey guys! I'm Blue...u-uh...I've never really done this sorta thing before either, so uh...w-well I like good food and funny j-jokes and...uh... Faker Sky: Psht, relax. We all know everyone loves you because they're horny. Skychi: Okay, who the heck let HER onto this blog?! Faker Sky: Ski. Ski: Hi guys! ^w^ Skychi: [sigh] ...why did we let her run the account? Sky: Because she's the most friendly, ALRIGHT?! Now can you all PLEASE let Skyblue continue? Skyblue: ...o-oh...I-I was pretty much done already! S-sorry! Sky: [sigh] ...then let's move onto Skychi, please? Skychi: Okay, sup anons? I'm Skychi, the cool and based one. My interests are anime, manga, technology, and guns.

Faker Sky: Wow, kinda cringe, TBH.

Skychi: Bitch, SHUT UP, I'm talking!

Faker Sky: Fine, gosh. Sky: You're going last now. Skychi, continue. Faker Sky: OH MOTHERF- Sky: SKYCHI, CONTINUE! Skychi: So uh...yeah, anyways I'm probably the only one here besides Ski who isn't relentlessly fucking horny. Any/all pronouns are fine, but I prefer they/them. Sky: Oh that reminds me, everyone else, list your pronouns. I'm she/her. Faker Sky: Bitch, ALL the rest of us are she/her. Neeeeeext! Sky: [sigh] Skychi: Anyways, I'm a genderfluid, badass memelord. I don't drink, but I occasionally smoke. Also I'm the most fourth wall aware. Skyblue: Ohhhhh, is that what this is? Faker Sky: Oh god, please tell me we didn't fucking invite Miko to this. She's a fucking terminally online loser. ...no offense Skychi. Skychi: None taken, and GOD no, don't worry. Ski wanted to, but it didn't pan out. Ski: She's just kept screaming and saying "Get that thing away from me!" when I tried to ask her, and she seemed so scared, and I felt so baaaaaaad! 😭

Faker Sky: Heh...dumb bitch thinks you're dangerous because I like you, lol. Sky: Fak-...Sky, shut up! Faker Sky: Fiiiiine... Sky: Skychi? Skychi: Eh, I'm done. Ski? Ski: Hi everyone! I'm Ski and I wanna meet new friends here! 😄 I like to sing and make lots of arts and crafts! But my favoritest thing is to spend time with my friends! ...that's it! ^w^ Faker Sky: ...that's it? Ski: I am a creature of simple comforts. Faker Sky: Okay, baller. Sup, dorks? I'm just your totally normal, ordinary Sky. The best Sky, and don't you forget it! I like eating creepypasta (the edginess and negativity soothes my soul) and also hanging out with these weirdos sometimes, I guess. Anyway, I'm single and ready to mingle, so- Sky: Sky, this isn't a dating app. Faker Sky: Oh, I know. Skychi: [sigh] ...this isn't a lewd roleplay account either, Faker. Faker Sky: Then why the fuck are we on tumblr in 2023?! Ski: Elon Musk killed Twitter. Faker Sky: Oh yeah, I forgot why I agreed to this. Yeah, that makes sense. Still, I'm gonna miss that god awful bird site. Skychi: Don't. I almost made an account there, but decided not to. Best decision of my fucking life, lol

Faker Sky: Yeah, but I like to feed off the negativity and engage with assholes while also being a bigger asshole...anyways I'm here if you wanna ask me or my dork friends any questions. Also, did I mention that I am absolutely not a lovecraftian monstrosity in disguise, and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying? Skychi: Dude, we've already seen your eldritch form. Faker Sky: ...you have? Sky: Yes?! Skychi: SEVERAL times! Faker Sky: ...when? Skychi: Bitch, you tried to eat Blue! Faker Sky: ...oh. ...shit. So anyway, Skychi is lying. Skychi: [groans and facepalms] Faker Sky: Anyways, we'll be here whenever we feel like it, so I guess ask your silly questions, dorks! Sky out! Sky: [sigh] ...Skys out.

[shower-phantom-ideas]

Lord imagine how much Danny is gonna hate being called Boss Baby xD

Older generations probably think the movie is cute and fun but idk man my inner edgy teen hated it lmao. Super cringe? Yea but maybe im just cringe lol.

Do the even know hes Phantom? I love it when they don’t cause hijinks can ensue better when they don’t know.

A big bad has attacked the watch tower and made their way in with their crew! Oh no they captured the JL “mascot” aka Danny. Everyone knows how Bruce found the kid but does everyone know his real age? If you try to tell me Bruce wouldnt wanna fuck with his buddies coworkers by not telling them his real age then you are not a truther. That or one of us is uneducated.

Anyway cut to the Justice League frozen in their tracks cause the big bad is holding Danny and threatening to hurt him. Knife to the throat or something. Batman knows hes not a toddler but he doesn’t want the kid hurt either so hes going full over thinking it mode. Meanwhile Danny gets tossed into a cage and it being paraded around by the “triumphant” villain. “Ooo maybe we will throw him out of the air lock!”

Imagine though if they did. Danny just shows up right next to the villain. Who keeps throwing him out the air lock over and over but Danny just pops up next to him again and again. Mans getting frustrated. The league are so confused that none of them do anything. Well Batman is slowly inching his way to the main computer but no one is paying attention to that.

Big bad has had enough and just pulls a gun on Danny. Fires and the bullet hits the floor behind him. “Oh im sowwy mistew i think uwu missed! wanna twy again?” So he does. Empties a whole clip into the floor. “Wow mistew uwu must have weawwy bad aim! my tuwn?”Confused the villain reaponds “your turn???” Danny gives an adorable little fist bump jump “yaaayyyy!!” Then his eyes glow green and he fires an ecto blast right into the guys chest. Knocking him back into the wall. Menacingly he walks up with his still glowing eyes and a big smile “I got you! I got you! I win i win!!!” then his smile drops and he adds “oh and im not a child ass hole” before turning to face his henchmen who stand frozen for a moment then all of them beeline for the exit. Of course the JL finally come out of their trance and catch them. Before Danny is bombarded with questions he just turns to the League with his cutest most innocent face “wow that was scary huh” of course no one is having it now. “Shit” …”language young man” from Batman who might have a shit eating grin on his face but it’s Batman so it’s hard to tell

Seeing a lot of de-aged Danny in Gothem posts floating around and I love it

100% here for little shit Danny being a “fuck around and find out” child

I like to think of him as detective conan style with full memories and brain power jam packed into the body of a smol bean.

Let him get spotted by The Batman and just fully throw the man for a loop cause holy fuck not tiny little child could think of this wtf.

Like Danny isnt even as big as he was when he was six. No. Now hes like the size of a small for their age six year old. Shortest in the kindergarten kinda sized.

“Wow what a smart 4year old you got there” actually MiSs hes six and a half.

Let him be so hard for Bruce to catch but also so smart. Bruce can see him taking apart a smartphone and re wiring a microwave. Hes a little genius! Danny normally is an engineering genius but now hes just so very cute and smol. But he doesn’t wanna be babied. So sir he demands respect.

Anyway cut to like three months later and hes the head maintenance guy at the watchtower. Everyone learns that hes not to be messed with too. Some just respect him out the gate cause The Batman is bringing him in and they don’t wanna be fired. Others learn the hard way that this fucking toddler (hes seven now thank you very much) can fix a teleported that they hardly understand.

I also like to think Danny uses it to his advantage as much as he can. “But im just seven mister pwease don’t make me fill out paper work 🥺” but it doesn’t work in The Batman cause hes apparently the worlds greatest detective and knows this one isnt actually seven. Danny put in so much work trying to keep Bruce in the dark (thats a lie he didn’t do shit to protect his identity) but the knight saw through him pretty early on. Like a week after Danny moved in with him. Though I did take him a bout a month to get him to do even that.

[transmascrage]

It's interesting how whenever I look at a denier's bio 99% of the time they're tme.

[mblue-art]

You really hate Cross

l.listne op

he triggers my tsundere button. is the thing

[i started rambling/infodumping a quarter of the way under the cut. here's ur warning of me being cring]

I saw this. when I was researching for all kinds of refs/info for this guy when I started that one week of just drawing the fucker. when the simping started.

I want to remind the simps that THIS GIF EXISTED.

WHY does he LOOK like that.

i HATE him. (but in a way that a tsundere hates a love interest, you get me? ok good great—)

[ infodump warning? yes, here you go, here's the warning. i am going to embarrass myself down here- ]

OKAY, SO. I didn't think of him that much at the start, right, like ok he's the fandom's (cool bodyguard soldier type) edgy anime boy crybaby character in Bad Group (sometimes the himbo) whatever whatever

even in ships im like "eh ok hes alright i think" (lol i remember not caring about the cream ship bc "ah its too uwu positive happy also im not that into the dynamic" aaaaaand look where i am now. oh boy wow i simp for both of them, what a character development)

but then fandom keeps drawing him ~attractive~ and im like "hhhhh ok just like how ppl draw killer as the designated sexy guy in the villain group ok (bc nightmare has a different flavor of sexy. hes the leader/king type yk) cross is the um. the guard dog. big guy. cold soldier. ok (also himbo- PPL KEEP DRAWING HIM AS HIMBO??? has that always been a thing or am i misremembering)" ahem anyway yeah

anyway bad guys sexy its fandom culture to make the villains hot somehow and ppl did that to nm's gang ofc

im remembering my rambles about my thoughts on The Boy, and these were a Year ago.

this has been in my head for so long, oh m gog

i have always gotten this "boyish, anime charm" vibes from swap sans from reading fics- like not even blueberry swap sans, the other, more charming swap sans, the attractive & simpable one (does anyone remember skesgo? they made simpable swap content and i LOVED that shit. hope theyre doing well)

...LMAO PAST!ME??? " IM NOT A SIMP I SWEAR "

BUT i uh. i rlly very much like soff cross though. when the cold-shouldering is done and gone, he warms up and starts 2 care 4 u, hes p cute yanno,,, like yeah hes weeb cringe sometimes but,, he just wants friends to hang out with i think, other than fucking around/doing stupid shit with epic (his best buddy, i love dude and bruh, theyre my fav brotp) ,,it adds to his charm idk,,, i hc that he gives warm, secure hugs that you dont wanna pull away from,,

.

Does this mean he's going up the ranks in my Top 5 skellies??????

...

No comment.

[werewolf-witchboy]

Tokoyami Fumikage X Male Reader

Being A Witch Boy And Dating Tokoyami

WARNINGS: none uwu

Being a witch has nothing to do with your quirk, you just like practicing the dark arts and witchy things.

I'm not going to mention what your quirk is, so you can imagine that you have whatever quirk you want, or you can imagine yourself as someone without a quirk.

💀 Tokoyami had been fascinated with your hobby of witchcraft ever since he met you. He was most fascinated with the fact that your actual quirk has nothing to do with how your witchcraft works.

🕯 He had already thought you were cute before, and he had been in that time of his life where he was starting to question his sexuality a little- but after you showed him your witchy interests, he fell hard for you.

💀 He may be a dark and edgy birb boi, but he's also quite shy and awkward. He probably would have never confronted you about his crush if you hadn't told him your feelings for him first.

🕯 When y'all started dating, literally everyone was like "FINALLY!!" cuz it was super obvious that the two of you were meant for each other.

💀 When it comes to what type of witch you are, i'd say you're a witch of all traits.

-You love dark and spooky things, but you also love pastel colors and nature.

-Your room in the class 1A dorm is most likely full of plants, candels, a variety of antiques and trinkets, and shit that you can't buy at stores until it's around Halloween time.

🕯 Tokoyami likes to ask many questions about all of the different types of things you do, and he actually pays attention and is super interested. You'll even teach him some new things, and show him how to do them himself.

💀 You love Dark Shadow as much as you love Tokoyami himself. Though they're both very different in personality, you find them both charming and adorable (despite them both saying they're not "adorable," they're dark and spoopy lmao).

🕯 He also loves your animal familiar.

-Your familiar rarely comes out of your bedroom. Since you're dating Tokoyami, you allow him in your room (which means a lot more than he probably thinks it does, cuz spaces where witches do their magic and recharging are very sacred to them) so he gets to see your familiar quite often.

💀 It's rare for familiars to show affection to anyone that isn't their bonded witch, but your familiar absolutely loves Tokoyami.

-They'll hop onto his lap immediately as soon as he sits down in your room.

🕯 Both you and Tokoyami thrive in the darkness, so there are often times where you both hang around in your dimly lit room cuddled up together just talking all day (or even sometimes laying there in comfortable silence).

-You'll be in there together for so long that all of your friends will start questioning where you're both at, and not even realize that you're just in your room.

💀 He obviously likes you a whole lot, but he's super bad at saying it with words. He's just shy and bashful. BUT THEN DARK SHADOW EXPOSES HIM LMAO-

-You'll be standing there looking super cute, and Tokoyami will just stare at you and want to say something so badly. Then Dark Shadow appears and is all like "wOw yOu'Re sUpEr hOt" and Tokoyami just dies right there in the very spot he's standing cuz he can't believe that just happened.

🕯 That's another thing- Tokoyami stares at you a LOT. He even did it before y'all started dating, but now he doesn't even try to hide it.

-You barely noticed at first, but once you started noticing how often you catch him staring at you, you can't help but tease him a little.

-You'll stare at him back, directly in the eyes, and he'll get super flustered and embarrassed.

-Then to calm him down and make him feel less embarrassed, you'll giggle at his flustered-ness and give him a lil beak kiss...which just makes him even more flustered.

💀 He's definitely the type who wants to be a total romantic, and speak all poem-like to you, and shower you with praises, ect. BUT he gets so flustered when it comes to affection, and second-guesses himself when it comes to his ideas of showing affection.

-He's scared of coming off too strong, or seeming to clingy, or even not doing enough, so he never really gets the chance to act out any of how he wants to show affection- and to top it all off he can't help but be absolutely smitten every time you give him affection of any sort, and he'll not know how to react to it.

🕯 You never call him out on his shyness or how he reacts to your affection, you're not offended with any way he reacts to you. You think it's super cute how innocent he seems when it comes to all of this, and of course you encourage any time he gets a little bit of confidence to hold your hand or compliment you (without the help of Dark Shadow lol).

💀 His feathers get all ruffled when he's flustered, and OMFG it's too cute. 🥺😭

🕯 Something that he loves so much is when you borrow his clothes. Because for him, it's kind of a way to show affection towards you without being super direct about it.

-So him being like "you're cold? here, wear my sweatshirt" translates to "TAKE EVERYTHING FROM ME, KEEP IT FOREVER, I LOVE YOU FJSKDJFHR-"

💀 Don't come @ me- Tokoyami listens to death metal, but he'd totally vibe with something like kpop if you introduced him to it.

-He's definitely a Loona stan.

🕯 Highkey though, now that I think of it- he probably also listens to Joji and Billie Eilish.

-Like, really moody sad boi hours indie music.

-He'd have Will He playing in his headphones, and he'd be all edgy and in his feelings, but he'd also be doing something like baking cookies at the same time lmfao.

-He'd have a playlist named "songs to cry to," but he'd be listening to it while knitting sweaters for puppies or something.

💀 No, you didn't ask me what kind of music that I think Tokoyami listens to, but you got it anyway. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

🕯 If he's at a store, and sees something kinda spooky looking that makes him think of you, he'd quickly get it and think all day of giving it to you, and he'd want to watch you add it to your collection of lil trinkets and antiques.

-....But he'd chicken out so hard I stg.

-This poor baby would rehearse how he'd give it to you in his head over and over again, and then when the time comes to give it to you, he'd get suddenly so tongue-tied and worried if you'd actually like it or not.

-But, of course, you love whatever he gets you every time. Your always super surprised when he gets you something, cuz it's not your birthday or any special day, and you never expect gifts from people.

-Every time you accept a gift from him, you always want to squeal, tackle him, and shower him with kisses- but you resist doing so with all of your being, cuz you know he'd malfunction.

-Instead you very profoundly thank him many times, and give him one especially loving kiss.

-Seeing your extra surprised and happy reaction always relieves him so much, and it makes him want to do it all over again and gift you a whole shop full of trinkets. His lack of hundreds of dollars is the only thing that stops him.

💀 You're the type of person who wears a lot of black, and scatters bright colors here and there within your look. Your style ranges from goth to pastel e-boy.

🕯 You don't like to change other people's styles or tell other people what to wear, but every once in a while, Tokoyami expresses an interest in dressing like you- which you go NUTS over.

-You'll let him borrow your pastel sweaters, and he'll let you put bright colored hairclips in his feathers.

-He now even owns some pastel colored clothing of his own, that you either gifted him or he secretly bought himself at some point.

💀 He used to be shy about changing up his style every once in a while at first. Whenever you'd take pictures of him wearing bright clothes, he'd softly ask you not to show them to any of the others.

-Eventually he became confident enough to go out in public those rare days he'd wear bright colors, and everyone is always super supportive of the different style.

🕯 He had never been in a relationship with another guy before he started dating you.

-He started questioning his sexuality around the time he started high school, but it was never a priority at first because he was more focused on working hard to get into U.A. and thinking about his future being a hero.

-aNd tHeN hE mEt yOu, and now we're here lol.

-ANYWAYS, y'all go to pride parades together.

-Something he isn't shy about is his sexuality, cuz as soon as he realized how he felt about you, he was all in and that was that.

-Y'all go all out for parades with face and body paint, and shirts with your flags on them, and even sometimes bringing signs and flags to hold up and wave around.

-Some of your friends will come with the two of you, whether they're there because they're also lgbtq+ or just because they support it.

-It's the most social the two of you are the entire year, cuz your both introverted lil emos that don't really talk to many people outside of class 1A.

💀 So yeah- I think Tokoyami is highly underrated and I'm extremely soft for him. He's an emo birb boi, what is not to love.

-I believe in emo birb boi supremacy.

-Rise all Tokoyami stans, we shall take over the entire anime world someday.

[tvitr]

uwu I don’t make the ruwules

(Okay fine, reasons/opinions below the cut but be warned! I won’t be holding back on game or book spoilers. Or rambling. This got longer than I anticipated lol)

BETTER IN THE BOOK

Eis “Fireman Sam” Glover: I don’t know what the game was trying to do with this one. I guess he gets overwhelmed by the fire and loses his composure or gets scared or... something?  Also why did he not bring a hose. Or a mask.  This is why so many reviewers thought Wonderworld was a metaphor for purgatory and all the inhabitants are dead I swear. Who cares, the book handled it a lot better. I wouldn’t say it’s perfect, but there’s definitely a good idea here with some interesting themes. The gist is that he feels ashamed following his captain’s orders to retreat during a serious blaze, which his colleagues disobeyed, and his colleagues are later hailed as heroes by the press.  Is Balan the Book trying to take on toxic masculinity...? How brave. Tl;dr, the book conveyed the story a Hell of lot better than the game. Honestly I’m surprised this is the only one.

BETTER IN THE GAME

Haoyu “Airplane Boi” Chang: So the book tried waaaay too hard to draw a parallel between Haoyu and Fiona (aka, Dolphin Girl) to the point that they both share a similar backstory, in that they had a hobby which led to a near-fatal accident and now they’re too traumatised to resume said hobby. And that’s not a bad thing per se but... “near fatal accident” was already Fiona’s backstory. We didn’t need a duplicate. And this is more personal preference, but I kinda liked Haoyu’s story in the game anyway. His failure at building a functioning aeroplane out of crap he found in his garage is endearingly funny in the game, and the resolution of him taking time out to sit down and study before building anything is a nice spin on the whole “if at first you don’t succeed” theme the chapter wanted. 

Sana “Bird Lady” Hudson: So the book decided they didn’t want to make Cal an angry sore loser so guess what? They made Sana an angry misanthrope. Wonderful. Okay maybe that’s harsh, but she definitely came off as very bitter and unsympathetic in the book. Like there’s a scene at the end where she harasses a firefighter and tries to steal a fire engine because they’re working on a building fire and not supervising her park. That’s not a character you wanna root for. That’s a Karen. The game had a better plot thread and resolution to her story rather than a boring cookie-cutter “humans vs. nature grrrr humans are so evil” story, like the game story here had a bit more depth to it and approached the topic more maturely than the book did. Which is ironic considering how hilariously edgy the book gets sometimes, but I guess throwing a few smashed eggs and frozen bird skeletons into your story doesn’t mean anything if you’re still going to paint such a black-and-white narrative.

Iben “Frozen Elsa” Bia: This story didn’t need dialogue. Like... we don’t need her to justify why she’s upset her parents are dead because we’d already assume that. They’re her parents! Of course we’d assume she’d be upset! They died! Simultaneously! That’s horrible! WE DON’T NEED HER TO EXPLAIN THIS! Also her dialogue in the book was... pretty terrible, not gonna lie. Like if you’re gonna insist on dialogue at least make it gOOD. I’m actually planning on just reviewing her book scene so I can fully articulate just how bad it is anyway, so stay tuned for that mess lol.

FINE IN BOTH

I mean there’s not really too much to say here but anyways:

Jose/”The Farmer” having a family in the book gives him a bit more depth, even if we never hear from them again after his backstory dump.

Fiona/”Dolphin Girl” almost drowns in a slightly different way, with a dolphin straight up pulling her mask off rather than knocking it out of her mouth, and the book also goes more into detail about her love for diving and dolphins. Also the book ships her and Haoyu like. So hard. Like they never shut up about how similar they are or what they other’s doing or if the other’s okay or not. By the end of it I was expecting them to just start making out in front of everyone, they’re that obsessed with each other. And it would be funny if they didn’t use this to wreck Haoyu’s backstory like I mentioned earlier.

Yuri/”Bug Kid”/”Is that a Pokémon reference?” is now being kinda bullied for liking bugs, which yeah gives her more depth and reason to be upset but I also kinda related to her just being that One Kid with interests that nobody else had. But it’s not as bad as some of the other changes, so I can let it slide.

Atillio/Clown and Bruce/Old Man are the same, nothing to say here.

Lucy/”The Artist” is a total drama queen but then again so are Art People so I can let it slide. I did like them changing her problem from “artist’s block” (seriously?) to her feeling too under pressure to create masterpieces, unless that’s what the game was aiming for? Oh who cares.

JUST A BIG MESS

Cass “Dead Cat Girl” Milligan: This is a weird one because the story is the same between the game and book (though the book mentions she witnessed a more severe car accident rather than a speeding car which she assumes kills the cat, and the cat isn’t even her cat, it’s a stray) but the story itself is... flawed. According to the book, they wanted to convey the idea that running away from the accident was irresponsible, and she just needed to look back and she’d see her cat is okay, but the game kind of makes it look more like Balan turned back time to save her cat, and the book mentions a serious car crash which I don’t think anyone would willingly return to. I feel there’s a better way to convey this idea of being responsible for your pets, like say her cat escapes from the house and gets lost, and her resolution is going out and properly looking for it. That’s a more effective (and natural) way to relay that message, especially as they weren’t going to commit to the idea of grieving a lost pet.

I’M CONFLICTED

Cal “Chess Daddy” Suresh: God this was a tough call. On one hand Cal’s game backstory is one of the ones most YouTube players single out as the weakest backstory in the game. He’s just “that guy who lost one game of chess”. Being right before Iben’s level certainly doesn’t help. I could honestly write a separate post about how bad the story placements are in this game but that’s too long for here.  On the other hand, I still... kinda like it? Like I like this idea of him being a sore loser with a bad temper who needs to learn some humility, sure it’s not as serious as “I almost drowned” or “my parents are dead” but one of the few good things about the game is that it balanced “serious” stories with “benign” ones, if that makes sense. HOWEVER His book scene is... probably one of the best written in the whole book. Which isn’t saying much, but it felt like it hit the intended degree of darkness that the rest of the book was trying to hit. One of my main issues with the book is how much it edged up everyone’s backstory, which doesn’t sound bad but when you have 12 characters with edgy backstories to sit through, it starts to feel like a 14 year old's first attempt at writing an angsty fanfiction very quickly. And yes, Cal’s story is dark and angsty but it felt like the perfect balance of dark and angsty. Or as perfect as the book can get. Like even Balan’s annoying rhyming dialogue sounded good for the tone of the scene. Man maybe I should just do a review of both his backstories in a bigger post.  Obviously I could be biased because I’m a sucker for chess aesthetics and dark skinned men with long permed hair so I’m just putting more thought into him but still.