Rating: Teen
Fandom: Cookie Run
Word Count: 1990
BTHB Prompt: Isolation
@badthingshappenbingo
He looks at this cookie, at this amalgamation of everything he’s ever loved and all that he despises, and he wants. He wants so desperately that it starts a fire in his soul, destructive and potent and far too large to be contained. Because it’s Eternal Sugar he sees in that soft smile, it’s Burning Spice he sees in that defiant glare, it’s Silent Salt he sees in that minute furrow of his brow, it’s Mystic Flour he sees in his unwavering morals, it’s himself reflected back at him as he looks into the face of a scholar. That damning mix of intelligence and naivety, the contrast of haunted eyes and innocent ideals, the idea that even after everything, purity remains embedded at this cookie’s very core- it strikes a chord somewhere deep within the corrupted confines of his heart. Looking at Pure Vanilla is like gazing into the shards of a mirror he shattered long ago, albeit twisted into something designed to be less troublemaking, less problematic, less strong-willed. Pure Vanilla Cookie is everything Shadow Milk was supposed to be, everything his Light of Truth wishes for him to embody. And oh, does Shadow Milk want.
OR: A study of Shadow Milk Cookie's corruption, imprisonment and thoughts upon release.
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If it gets ten kudos, I consider the fic a success. Because, when you think about it, ten is a pretty solid group of people. Like, if I were to gather those ten people in a room, I would probably feel a little intimidated knowing so many people read and liked something I wrote. But I'd also be really happy since, hopefully, the fact that they liked it also meant I made their day better. And improving the day of ten people is definitely something to be proud of :)
I need to print this and put this on my wall, or just have a screenshot of it on my laptop. I had stopped writing for a while, just because the engagement with my fics was so low. The kudos is always okay but the comments were so low, it made me doubt my ability to write for sure. And it's still in my brain now but I am writing on a Stony fic I had stopped and it's nice to write and think about.
So yeah, I need this on my wall. 😊
Go right ahead! I'm very happy if I can offer comfort or motivation :)
I also want to point out that there's nothing wrong with wanting engagement on one's fics. I just try to put my expectations into a context that's easier for me to grasp. I think it's easy to just go "I want as many kudos as possible" — which, again, is valid — but I prefer to focus on what's beyond that. Like the joy I'm bringing people and the difference I might be making in someone's day.
That's not to say that I don't love when I get lots of comments and kudos — of course I do — but I try not to expect them. And, if I do get them, I try to appreciate them for more than just their number. Which is one of the reasons why I reply to every single comment. Because they're not just a statistic to me. There is an actual person on the other end of that comment and it blows my mind that people take time out of their day to write them. I'm just so grateful for every single one.
Also, just a casual observation: Certain fandoms seem to be having a problem with dwindling comments. Not going to lie, I was pretty surprised when I wrote for Marvel again for the first time in years because I got fewer comments than I ever have. Like, the number of comments on the first two chapters of my Stuckony fic is roughly the same as the comments on the first two chapters of my Mad Dog fic. And Mad Dog is an obscure Kdrama from 2017 that literally no one cares about. The comments on the Mad Dog fic are also a lot longer and more thoughtful.
That sort of thing depends on what kind of people are in the fandom, of course, and if there's a previous bond between the reader and writer, but I'd say it's not just you. Something has definitely happened within certain fandoms that results in authors getting fewer comments.
And maybe me saying this ruins the encouragement you were able to get from that other reply of mine, but I want you to remember that: it's not you. It's not that you're a bad writer, people just don't seem to be commenting like they used to. Which is discouraging for sure, but at least it's not your fault.
And maybe reframing how you look at kudos and comments will help? It's definitely okay to want them — we all do — and it's understandable to feel sad when we don't, but please don't let that stop you from writing. It's not your fault and you shouldn't doubt yourself 💜
So good luck with your fic and I hope you have lots of fun writing it! 😘
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I haven’t seen the movie but I’m confident that Anne Hathaway as a northern working class Englishwoman in 2011 One Day is probably one of the worst casting decisions of all time
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