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ruvviks · 1 year

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Chapter >> 18 [x] Characters >> Lauren Dimas (oc), Matvey Dobrynin (oc), Mikhail Koshechkin (oc), Rogue Amendiares, Viktor Vektor, Vincent Mayer (oc), Vitali Dobrynin (oc) Total >> 8.0k words Warnings >> Alcohol mention, blood, brainwashing mention, brief transphobia mention, death, descriptions of dying (don't even worry about it), dissociation (sort of), injuries, violence

Vitali was dying.

He could see the sky from where he sat, the ink black void above Night City, turned all hues of blue from advertisement projections and the city lights down below. Could barely hear the alarm blasting through the building anymore, a comfortable ringing filling the space between his ears, low humming wrapping itself around him like a protective blanket as he felt himself slipping away.

Part of him had already known, in a way. Living on borrowed time- the bullet had killed him, and if it hadn’t been for Arasaka forcing a heartbeat back into him only minutes later he would never have opened his eyes anymore at all. Had happened nearly a year ago by then; yet somehow Vitali could remember it as if it had only been a few hours at most, as if all that had taken place since had been nothing but a fever dream and his brain keeping him trapped in a delusion in the final moments before his lungs would give out.

He struggled to keep his eyes open, the familiar voice nearby urging him to stay awake- bitter taste of blood in his mouth and his side burning up, pain gnawing its way through flesh and muscle and bone until it was so constant he could barely even feel it anymore.

‘The sky looks…different, here.’

Vincent chuckled and dropped his head on Vitali’s shoulder who immediately scoffed in return, surprised by his boyfriend’s reaction, and quickly took another sip from his beer.

‘You are- such a fuckin’ city boy,’ Vincent said, looking up and pressing a kiss on Vitali’s cheek. ‘No offense, ‘course.’

‘None taken.’

Neither of them spoke as they both looked up again, eyes trailing over the stars shimmering above the camp of the Aldecaldos stationed a few miles outside of Tucson. Vincent was right- Vitali had never left Night City far enough to be able to see the night sky in all its glory, and he had never known there was so much up there to see.

Oh, how Vitali longed to see the stars one last time.

At least the end was more gentle for him, now. No one hovering over him, hurting him, choking him out; no one crying beside him, failing to save him- tears spilled, wasted, over Vitali’s own shortcomings, his alone and no one else's.

‘We should come back here, sometime,’ Vincent quietly said, reaching out to take Vitali’s hand in his own and he gave it a little squeeze. ‘After- you know. We finish up business in Night City. Take a break for a while.’

‘That sounds lovely,’ Vitali replied and smiled at him; a smile that widened when Vincent smiled back and gently bumped their foreheads together, eyes fluttering shut as he breathed in deep, his lips brushing past Vitali’s skin.

He had not even gotten the chance to say goodbye.

A tear rolled down Vitali’s cheek, eyelids heavy as he felt himself sinking; no current pulling him down this time but his arms and legs were no longer strong enough to keep his head above the water, and he sucked in a final, shaky breath before the cold river swallowed him whole.

He knew what dying felt like.

Vitali had very limited childhood memories.

Early ones, at least; shrouded in a strange sense of alienation, a name that did not belong to him and a body turning into something he did not want it to be. Siblings, who got a better treatment than he had ever received; a mother who did not love him, who thought her oldest daughter was merely a doll for her to play with, to dress up and order around until she would grow tired and throw him out; and a father, who-

Who-

Well, Vitali was not sure anymore.

‘You’re bleeding, мое солнышко. What happened?’

Vitali refused to look his father in the eyes- not out of shame, but out of pure anger- still shaking on his legs as he stomped through the living room and dropped himself on the couch. He was a little out of breath, still; had run all the way upstairs rather than use the elevator in hopes to get rid of the adrenaline running through his system, but it had not helped him in the slightest.

‘Stupid fucking shit kids,’ he simply answered Matvey, who had put his work down and walked over to him to join him, sitting down in the armchair on his left.

‘Oy- Language.’

‘What? I’m right.’

‘What did they do?’

‘Called me names. Said I dress ugly.’

‘And then they punched you on the nose?’

Vitali huffed and looked away, crossing his arms in front of his chest and he pouted as he stared out of the window, eyes slowly trailing over the ocean next to the pier of Wellsprings.

Alright, perhaps he had landed the first punch this time- but could you blame him? All the little fuckers ever did was harass anyone younger and shorter than them, and Vitali with his ten years of age was no exception to that.

One too many times and he had simply snapped.

Matvey reached out and gently took Vitali’s jaw, tilting his head back to get a better look at his face; and Vitali merely stared back, counting the few freckles covering his father’s forehead and cheekbones as his heartbeat finally settled down.

‘It hurts,’ he mumbled, slapping his father’s hand away.

‘It looks broken,’ he replied.

‘Next time I see them I’m pushing them off pier. All of them.’

‘Hm. Good luck explaining that to NCPD. Davay- let’s clean that blood off your face before your mother gets home.’

‘HEY-! Fucking watch it!’

Vitali clenched his jaw and flipped the other driver off as he quickly maneuvered around the car, switching lanes and accelerating while ignoring the loud honking from behind. His other hand was tightly wrapped around the steering wheel, white-knuckled to stop it from shaking too much.

Not as if it helped.

The city lights flashing by were blinding- street light after street light and billboards and neon signs and Vitali struggled to keep his eyes open, the almost hypnotic pattern lulling him to sleep despite the adrenaline coursing through his veins.

He accelerated more, nearly subconsciously so, heart rapidly beating in his chest and breathing high up in his throat- a feeling he was all too familiar with, a near constant state of being in combat situations or right before an important meeting with some rich and influential client.

This was different, though.

‘Turn right here, getting close.’

Mikhail spoke softly, just loud enough for Vitali to hear, his usually calming voice only slightly soothing his nerves this time. He was sat shotgun- Eddie on the backseat with Rogue, Cato and Vincent with Panam in the car following suit- leg nervously bouncing up and down and hands clasped around his rifle to keep his tics at bay.

‘I understand. Listen, I- Yes, I understand.’

Rogue’s voice was starting to sound increasingly more annoyed with every interruption from the fixer on the other end of the line. Her gaze met Vitali’s in the rearview mirror; and she made a gun with her free hand and pretended to shoot herself in the head, rolling her eyes while moving her phone a little bit further away from her ear when the fixer raised their voice at her.

‘I get your frustration and I get that the Council is starting to lose their patience, but just give us this last fucking night, goddamnit!’ she replied, every last ounce of friendliness she’d previously feigned entirely gone now. ‘Vitali is here with me, we’re on our way to the location- gonna deal with it once and for all. One night, please.’

Once and for all.

The reality of the situation they had found themselves in had yet to kick in for Vitali, his brain lagging behind and struggling to catch up. But it was better that way; he did not want to, did not need to think about what that statement meant- despite already being fully aware of it.

Going to drink myself into a coma after this.

Charter Hill, Westbrook.

Vitali clenched his jaw as he entered the subdistrict and passed its university grounds, memories flooding back into his brain- memories of attempting to break in, memories of nearly getting shot by security while trying to reach Mikhail in their years apart. Perhaps that’s why his father had chosen to seek shelter there of all places; perhaps he knew Vitali still avoided it like the plague, heart suffocating under the weight of all the sleepless nights he had spent there looking for his friend.

Hiding in plain sight. Smart.

High risk, high reward.

Vitali had an intimate relationship with the concept, from his years in college with the fine line between his personal and his school life, to the operations he led at Arasaka Counterintel, to the gigs he took from clients and divided under his mercenaries.

His own office in Wellsprings handled a similar strategic approach. Of course Arasaka knew of him- of course they knew where he could be found, and of course they could strike at any given moment in time without any warning and of course they could level the whole building with the ground with a single press of a button if they so desired.

But with his front and enough finesse practiced by both clientele and employees- and most importantly, Vitali’s intimate knowledge of the APEX program- even Arasaka stood powerless in the situation, knowing there was nothing they could do without raising suspicion, without drawing attention to themselves among other megacorporations, especially after the fiasco with Grant Armitage.

As long as Matvey’s mercs had behaved, no one would have expected their hideout to be in the midst of busy Charter Hill.

Not even Vitali.

‘Fucking imbecile.’

Rogue’s phone call had finally ended and she exhaled sharply, exchanging another look with Vitali when he glanced in her direction and she shook her head at him.

‘They want you dead,’ she plainly said. ‘Think everything will solve itself when you’re six feet under.’

‘Are you going to kill me?’ Vitali calmly asked in return.

‘Gimme a good reason not to.’

‘I’m driving.’

‘Eh, that works.’

As stupid as the Council was acting, Vitali understood; grasping at straws, similar to him, except focusing on the one thing he had thus far been trying so desperately to avoid. As if it would matter- as if it would make any fucking difference- the insignificance of a single man in Night City had become overly apparent to him in the past few months and if anything, his death would probably cause more problems than it would solve.

Another right turn and Vitali slowed the car, steering to the side of the road and coming to a stop behind a traffic jam, cars long abandoned for obvious reasons- a road block, heavily armored trucks and SUVs surrounding the main entrance of the building Vitali needed to be at and mercs patrolling the streets.

‘Let’s go,’ he said, slowly getting out of the car as his eyes trailed the entire building. It stood detached from surrounding facilities, enough space between to prevent any collateral damage; if anything, an explosion would perhaps cause some of the windows to rattle, but Vitali doubted it’d get worse than that.

He glanced behind him and gave Panam, Cato and Vincent a nod, all three of them readying themselves as they joined the rest- and a hushed but urgent ‘there you are!’ drew his attention into the other direction, a surge of adrenaline nearly causing him to reach for his weapon before he realized it was merely Huxley jogging over to them.

The group followed her into an alley just outside of view of the roadblock up ahead. An already crowded place- Vitali counted six other mercs, five whose faces he only semi-recognized- and Viktor of all people, dressed in similar combat gear as everyone else.

The defeated, somewhat exasperated look in Vitali’s eyes merely made the ripperdoc smile.

‘What’s the plan?’ one of the mercs asked, and right at the same time Rogue placed three bags with explosives on the dumpster beside the group.

‘Some sort of fucked up déjà vu cycle I seem to be stuck in,’ she said, gesturing at Vincent and Vitali- but her gaze lingered on him specifically. ‘Thought our good friend the rockerboy used to be stuck in your boyfriend’s head, not yours.’

‘What can I say?’ he simply replied. ‘Suppose the parasite infected me.’

The plan was straightforward, essentially the same as the last two times- get inside, plant the explosives, activate them, and then get out of there before the place would blow. They didn’t have blueprints to work with, nor did they know where any of the supplies were stashed exactly; but Vitali did not worry about it too much, knowing all would be lost either way once fire would break out following detonation.

All easy enough.

That part of it was, at least.

‘Small teams,’ he said, ‘three or four people max. Rogue, V- you’re with me. These are all rigged to activate at once from a single explosive so planting them is enough- just get out of there fast, once they’re activated we have about ten minutes to leave and there is no way to stop timer from going.’

‘Can’t Lauren control ‘em?’ Cato asked.

‘Unfortunately not. Older models- specifically made for field use, keep runners at bay.’

‘Balls.’

‘We’ll be fine.’

Vitali stood back as the- for now harmless- explosives were split between everyone present, eyes slowly trailing over faces and mostly steady hands gathering supplies and reloading weapons. He wandered around the group- paused to place his hand on Vincent’s arm and give it a gentle, reassuring squeeze- and closed the distance between himself and Viktor, who conveniently turned his head when Vitali tried to catch his gaze.

‘What are you doing here?’ he quietly asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest. ‘This is no job for you, Vitya. Please just go back to office.’

‘And leave Mikhail as the only available field medic here? Didn’t think so.’ Viktor paused, inhaling deeply before placing his hand on Vitali’s back. ‘Wasn’t planning on letting you do this all by yourself, kid.’

Vitali wasn’t alone there. But he understood what Viktor meant.

‘Are you sure about this?’

Vitali scoffed and took a few steps back, accidentally bumping into some medical equipment behind him in the small interior of Viktor’s shop. He straightened his back again- but swayed on his feet, the alcohol in his system not mixing too well with his medication, and he couldn’t keep his eyes focused on the other man in the room.

‘There is nothing else left for me out there,’ he answered in Russian, widely smiling and spreading his arms. ‘You thought I was studying to end up as someone’s secretary? Become some- some random exec for a starter company in Watson? Hell, a fucking politician?’

‘Arasaka isn’t going to solve anything for you, Vito,’ Viktor interrupted him, slightly raising his voice. ‘What are you hoping to find? Mikhail? Your parents?’

He tightly clenched his jaw and closed his eyes when Viktor moved his hand to his shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze, the gesture somehow enough to make his heartbeat settle down again.

‘Maybe, yes.’

A delayed answer, the two words violently cutting through the heavy silence lingering between them. Vitali dropped his arms and scoffed again- though it sounded more like a sob- and turned on his heels to walk away, nearly falling over the same medical equipment a second time that night.

Curious how that worked. Being so trapped inside one’s own head that it would feel like loneliness even when surrounded by people, swallowed by the Night City crowds. Vitali was intimately familiar with it- and even in that overcrowded alley he could feel it pressing down on his chest, choking the oxygen out of his lungs.

At least Viktor is still here.

Vitali could not remember much from the last time they blew up a building.

To be fair, it had been less about the explosives that time, and more about getting Vincent’s cure- and Vitali had only been barely present for it, mind still a little hazy from the remnants of Arasaka’s brainwashing attempt while he’d simultaneously had to run around and try not to get himself- or others- killed.

What he did remember, however, was the adrenaline; the pressure and the gravity of the situation pressing down heavily on his shoulders and his chest, his heart nearly beating itself free from within his ribcage, and the slight tremble of his hands while he had fought his way back into the secret laboratories where they had kept him in their captivity, mere days earlier.

Oh, how history loved to repeat itself.

The same pressure weighing down on him, the same tension in his spine- the same clammy feeling on the palms of his hands and the same shallow breathing as he left the safety of the alley with the rest of the group and they split up to move around the building in different directions, to try and cover as much ground as possible.

‘What’s the plan, jefe?’ Lauren asked, her voice a bit crackled through Vitali’s earpiece as a result of the static produced by what he could only assume was attempted enemy netrunner interference.

‘Rogue, V and I- we’re taking the lower floors,’ he answered, staying low to the ground as he moved around some vehicles. ‘Hold out there while everyone else moves up to plant explosives. I can see at least nine, ten- wait, thirteen hostile mercs outside currently. Can you take them down?’

‘I can try. Stay still.’

A cold shiver ran down Vitali’s spine when Lauren took over his vision and he shakily exhaled, clenching his fists in an attempt to calm down. It’s just Lauren, no one else- kept repeating it over and over in his head as he straightened his back and peered over the car he was sat behind again to give her a clear visual on the entrance of the building.

The sudden zoom of his Kiroshis caused his eyes to water and he swallowed heavily, nausea bubbling up in his stomach as a sudden rush of panic washed over him- panic that vanished almost instantly the second he noticed the enemy mercs dropping to the floor one by one, Lauren’s enhanced quickhack rapidly spreading until the entrance was clear and Vitali could finally stop digging his nails in the palms of his hands.

It’s just Lauren, no one else.

‘Sick,’ Vincent said from beside him, very much unaware of the uneasy feeling nested deep within Vitali’s stomach and he glanced at Vitali with a dangerous shimmer in his eyes.

‘Let’s move in.’

The entrance hall was a large, open space, similar to Vitali's own office but significantly less inviting; if anything it reminded him more of the entrance back at Arasaka, front desk blocking most of the path to the back of the building where two wide stairs led up then curved around against the back wall, meeting each other in the middle.

The plain white walls and asymmetric tiles on the floor had a medical feel to them, clearly a remnant of whatever the place used to be before Matvey and his mercenaries had moved in- but with the blood pooling at Vitali's feet and splattered across walls and ceiling and corpses scattered about it felt more like a slaughterhouse than anything else.

His stomach turned as he entered after Rogue and Vincent, several mercs inside instantly directing their attention to them- but they moved quickly, using the front desk as cover as gunfire started and the deafening noise echoed through the building and bounced around between Vitali's ears, the ringing putting a near painful pressure on his eardrums.

He steadied himself on the counter, relaxing his muscles before pulling the trigger and firing a couple of shots in the direction of their attackers. Just gotta keep them busy- everyone else had by then surely already entered through the back entrance or the fire escape and surely they were already nearly done with planting all the explosives they carried with them.

He just wanted to get it over with.

They locked him up.

The thought creeped into his head without warning.

Matvey was still somewhere inside, trapped- and Vitali's aim was starting to get worse with every passing second, his heart nearly beating out of his chest from stress. A shaky exhale left his body and he pulled back, wincing when a bullet bounced off the counter right where he'd just been, and he made direct eye contact with Vincent-

And suddenly they were kissing, Vincent's hands tightly holding his face, teeth clacking together from the force with which he had leaned in and Vitali gasped for air in his mouth, stealing the oxygen from his lungs.

'Stay focused, alright?' Vincent said, his voice only barely audible over the noise surrounding the two of them but Vitali could hear him clear as day, as if they were alone, as if they were completely elsewhere.

'It's almost over.'

And Vincent was gone again, moving around the counter on Vitali's other side to close in on their enemies. Vitali exhaled sharply and moved into the other direction instead- moved around Rogue, gave her a quick nod- trailed along the side of the room, using the large planters and benches as partial cover while taking more shots at the mercenaries.

'Lauren, security details!' he said, reloading his gun; he was on his last twelve bullets, and had forgotten to bring any spare.

'Their runner's been isolated, got them in a corner,' Lauren replied. 'Security protocols shut down- automated turret system entirely offline, seems like they can't get access to the codes.'

'Any automated doors?'

'Oh, yeah, most of 'em.'

'Can you open them for me?'

'Sure thing, jefe.'

One thing less to worry about.

Of course Vitali didn't know if he was even still alive. There was no way for him to find out- had no idea where his father was being held, and wasn't about to abandon Rogue and Vincent when they had more important things to worry about.

But he could not let it go.

And of course his body betrayed him; vision going blurry to the point he had to lower himself to the floor behind a planter and rub his eyes, but that only seemed to make it worse. Could feel himself slipping again, just like back in that Arasaka facility- time and time again, each and every direct reminder of the megacorporation causing his body to lock up and revert back to autopilot, to rely on the carefully programmed killer instinct planted inside his head.

'Please, not now,' he pleaded to no one in particular, voice a little shaky as his eyes tried to find something- anything- to focus on. He could feel his heartbeat in his temples, behind his eyes; could feel himself losing control of the muscles in his arms, in his legs-

'Please, not now.'

Vitali's voice was absent, distant. Even to himself; had not meant it that way, but it had happened almost automatically so, as if he was too tired to make an effort to make himself sound nice.

'I know you're busy,' Vincent quietly replied, shuffling a little closer to the couch. 'I just- I'm worried about you. You've been doin' nothing other than this paperwork for several days now. And it's getting really late.'

He did not even need to glance at the clock to know it was far past midnight.

Vincent sat down next to him and gently brushed a strand of hair out of his face, finally managing to get Vitali to put down his work and slowly take off his reading glasses. He turned to look at his boyfriend; who smiled at him in return and gave him a soft kiss on his cheek, arms sneaking their way around Vitali's waist to pull him a little closer.

Vitali opened his eyes and breathed in, shaking hand finding his left forearm- and without hesitation he pressed down his fingers, hard, a sharp and searing pain rushing through his nerves and he screamed, clarity once more washing over him until he could finally feel his legs again.

Focus, V. Focus.

He reached for his gun again and turned around- fired once, fired twice, three times and he was out- noticed someone running in his direction and hurled the empty gun directly at their head before whipping out a knife and pulling up the sleeve of his right arm.

A split second of hesitation-

Before he deployed his mantis blade, the only one he had left, and he jumped over the planter to close the distance between himself and another mercenary and slit their throat with both the blade as well as his knife at once.

A risky move, but Vitali did not care.

High risk, high reward- the adrenaline surging through his veins was enough to keep him going, the energy enough to keep his head on his shoulders and not lose his cool. Completely in control of each and every of his movements, using his enemies as cover as he rapidly worked his way through them, staining his blades and clothes with blood.

'Most explosives are in place, Vitali,' Lauren said, right when he dragged his mantis blade out of the chest of one of the last mercs in the entrance hall. 'Just the ones you're carrying. Whenever you're ready.'

'Time to move!' he yelled, acknowledging Lauren's comment simply by shifting his focus back to Vincent and Rogue. The latter held up the bag with explosives she had taken inside; and then vanished into a side hallway on the left of the building, and Vincent and Vitali followed suit.

But the second Vitali entered the hallway, he knew something was wrong.

'It's nothing I can't handle, Vik.' Vitali's voice was quiet, a mere mumble, as if he knew it was of no use to argue with the man. 'I've had it for all my life, now.'

'That doesn't mean it can't get worse.' Viktor paused and put some pressure on the side of Vitali's leg, right next to a muscle- and it instantly cramped up, causing a pained involuntary whimper to leave Vitali's lips and he kicked his leg to shake Viktor's hand away.

It was so easy to push himself too far. So tempting even; Vitali knew he could handle it and if he wanted to get results, he sometimes simply needed to make the effort whether he liked it or not.

It's exactly how his leg had gotten worse over the years, just like Viktor had warned him.

And it's exactly how he was starting to lose control again the second they were out of the entrance hall, his brain suddenly catching up with him to the point he could barely walk straight and his head felt like it was going to explode.

'Honey, are you alright?'

Vincent's voice sounded miles away, as if there were at least four thick walls standing between them despite the fact he was right there. Vitali tried looking up at him but his eyes found no one, as if he was suddenly all by himself; but with a blink of his eyes Vincent was right there again, holding his face, hands ever so careful and gentle and Vitali closed his eyes, wishing they could stay like that forever-

'I suppose I'm scared.'

'Scared? You? Please.'

A scoff left Mikhail's lips and he gave Vitali a playful nudge before taking another sip of his beer. Vitali mocked the scoff and snatched the bottle out of his friend's hands, downing the rest of it in a single go.

'You'll be fine, V,' Mikhail simply continued. 'Being away from your parents will do you good, and- I mean, they won't go anywhere. Give it a week or two, then reach out again. And you will always have me as well, you know that.'

'In another district,' Vitali mumbled in response. 'Where I can't reach you.'

'Once I'm settled in I'll give you call. You can come visit. We have plenty of time between classes.'

Vitali opened his eyes, and he was alone.

Again.

A sharp exhale left his chest as he returned to reality, body bouncing back to catch him but he hadn't even been falling in the first place.

Where am I?

He frantically looked around, back finding the wall behind him- it was sticky and a quiet whimper left his lips as he moved away as quick as he had dropped himself against it, jaw clenching tightly upon noticing the large amount of blood splattered onto the faded green and white wallpaper of the storage room he found himself in.

His eyes trailed down the wall to the floor- two corpses, mercs, dressed in heavy armor similar to that of Arasaka guards, and beside them stood the bag they had carried the explosives in, only one of the packages still inside, waiting to be installed.

Vitali blinked, hearing static on the line through his earpiece; though he was unsure if it was merely regular interference or an actual problem he should be worried about. The familiar thrumming in his head was still there, endlessly putting pressure on his skull- as if it could snap at any given moment, as if he could fall back into the darkness of his own mind with a single wrong move.

Not the time to feel sorry for yourself.

Far from it, even.

Vitali bent forward and grabbed the final explosive from the bag, quickly unwrapping the small device from its protective wraps and he placed it on one of the empty shelves of the storage room, turning the centerpiece to click it in place and snap it to the metal.

'Last explosive installed, ready for activation,' he absently said, unsure if anyone could even hear him. Exhaustion was washing over him now; body pushed far over its limits once more and he rubbed his eyes in an attempt to wake himself up again, knowing if he would pass out now it would be over for him.

He turned back around, straightening his back and getting ready to leave-

No.

Not now.

A figure stood in the door opening, wearing a suit; no jacket, sleeves of his shirt rolled up and gun in his hand, and Vitali unwillingly took a small step back when his gaze met that of his father.

Now or never.

Something was different.

Something had been different for a while, now.

And as much as it hurt him he charged forward without hesitation, ramming Matvey against the wall of the hallway and reaching for his gun to try and get a hold of it- but Matvey was fast and smashed the butt of the gun down onto Vitali's elbow, making him cry out in pain and loose his footing.

He was kicked back, the force of it startling him but not enough to knock him off his feet and he regained his balance, balling his fists and readying them in front of his face. Matvey scoffed in return, corner of his mouth slightly pulling up- then dropped his gun and in that same movement threw a punch aimed at Vitali's side, which Vitali blocked with the inside of his forearm and countered with a solid punch straight in Matvey's stomach.

He grabbed the man's shoulder, digging his nails into his shirt and flesh and baring his gritted teeth as he kicked his knee up with all the strength left in him- once, twice, three times as Matvey coughed and his hands clawed at Vitali's clothes to try and get a hold of him.

This is it.

Vitali's heart was racing wildly in his chest and he saw nothing but red- though not from anger, but out of fear, shallow breathing making him light-headed and causing him to lose control of the muscles in his legs. He pushed Matvey back, balled his fist- swung at him and hit his cheek, knuckles colliding with bone and only partially healed scabbed wounds tearing open, leaving his own blood on his father's face.

You can just leave.

He could.

He could just walk away now, no one had to know- no one had to know he couldn't do it, no one had to know he’d even seen Matvey there. It would be so simple; so fucking simple, yet there he was, bending over to grab his father's gun from the floor to then raise it and point it at his head, steadying himself with his other hand.

'Vitali,' Matvey said, slowly raising both his hands in defense as he struggled to catch his breath.

'Shut up,' Vitali sneered back. 'Just- shut up.'

Oh, how his voice betrayed him.

The slight tremble as he spoke, the sob mixed with the words he tried oh so desperately to spit out as violently as he could. No amount of anger, no amount of hatred could mask how scared he was-

And the amount of anger inside him was not even close to being enough to be able to pull the fucking trigger.

A door opened behind Matvey- the stairway, several mercs coming out and Vitali readjusted his aim and fired at them, walking backwards to create more distance between himself and everyone else in the hallway.

But suddenly he was no longer on his feet, tackled into one of the rooms on his side onto the floor by yet another merc, appearing out of nowhere from the side when he had least expected it and the gun was no longer in his hand, skidding over the floor entirely out of reach.

Vitali grunted and swung his arm blindly, hitting the merc's head and effectively pushing them off himself. He grabbed their hair and held them in position as he turned himself around- readying himself and pushing them into the ground to smash their head repeatedly against the floor until their cries of pain faltered and their attempts to escape from his grip stopped.

He jumped back on his feet, well aware of the danger closing in; turned, and froze, the merc in the doorway aiming their gun at him-

But before they could shoot, Matvey grabbed their arm and pulled it down, shoving them into the side of the doorway as he pushed himself a way inside and smashed their head against the frame before letting them drop to the floor.

Two more mercenaries entered and Vitali charged forward, using himself as a battering ram to separate the two to get one cornered in the room and push the other toward Matvey. He deployed his mantis blade and slashed the merc across the chest, once, twice-

And then heard a struggle behind him, jaw clenching tightly as he quickly turned around to assess the situation, breath caught in his throat as he feared for the worst-

Matvey was fine. Snapped the merc’s neck like it was nothing, and the fight was over.

But Vitali hadn't-

BANG!

He swiftly turned back around, mantis blade moving up- slashing the merc’s throat as quick as he could, and he retracted the blade in the same movement, sharp and short exhale leaving his body together with the sudden adrenaline that had arisen the second he had realized what he had done.

But something felt wrong.

Very, very wrong.

And Vitali fell to the ground.

He was light-headed again; and confused, too, shaking hand reaching for his side as a tingling sensation rapidly spread through his body. Cold fingertips found his shirt- it was soaked, like on his first day at Counterintelligence when one of his colleagues ran into him and accidentally spilled their poor excuse of a coffee all over his suit.

He had never been able to wash the stain out.

Which is why Vitali had mostly worn black button-ups under his suit jacket ever since, with the exception here and there- which is why at first glance it looked like someone had simply just spilled their drink on him again and he wasn’t bleeding heavily from a deep gunshot wound a little bit below his ribcage.

The red liquid on his hand would taste nothing like a lukewarm latte macchiato.

The thought caused Vitali’s lips to curl up in a smile as he closed his eyes and rested his head against the cold wall behind him. The initial confusion had washed away and pain had taken its place, burning and eating its way through his body and locking up his muscles, rendering him unable to get up.

Fuck, I’m tired.

‘You’re bleeding, мое солнышко. What happened?’

Vitali’s eyes fluttered open and he saw his father, standing in the doorway- on the other end of the dark hallway, slowly walking closer, reaching out to pluck a cigarette end out of Vitali’s hair- gun once more in his hand, eyes fixed solidly on the dark, wet stain in Vitali’s shirt right below his armor.

‘Stupid fucking shit kids,’ Vitali simply mumbled in return.

Though he was not sure if his father had even said anything to begin with.

‘Explosives locked and loaded. Ten minutes until detonation- everyone get the fuck out of here while you still can.’

A soft sigh left Vitali’s lips, Rogue’s voice barely audible to him through his earpiece though he did not need to hear her to know what she was talking about. They succeeded; the explosives would rid the place of all resources and would leave the mercs defenseless and they’d have nothing left to continue their onslaught with.

Though with Vitali bleeding out on the cold, laminated floor right in the lion’s den- exactly what they had wanted from the beginning- he was starting to wonder if everything could have been prevented had someone just fatally shot him a little earlier.

He grunted and pushed himself up on his elbows a little more, using what little strength he had left in his legs to shove himself further up against the wall. He opened his mouth to speak- had no idea what even to say, but felt like he had to say something- perhaps to get someone to look for him, even though that was the last thing he wanted.

Enough people had died and gotten injured because of him.

And as much as he tried, not a single sound left his lips, words caught in his throat and only blood dripping down his lips. He closed his eyes again and dropped his head back against the wall, exhaustion washing over him; and it felt like a relief, for some reason, feeling himself slowly drift off into that dark void that had become all too familiar to him in the past year.

Sudden pressure on his wound caused Vitali to cry out- mostly in surprise, less so in pain- and his eyes shot open again, back lifting slightly from the wall as he reached for the hands that attempted to stop the bleeding-

‘Don’t struggle. Save your energy.’

What?

One chance to set things right.

A little late, in the bigger picture of things; Matvey knew he’d had plenty of opportunities to give up, to just walk away for good. He was no longer sure why he hadn’t- did not know what he’d been trying to achieve, what he’d been trying to prove, but it was far too late for that now.

‘What are you doing?’ Vitali quietly asked, his voice barely audible above the alarm that had started blasting through the building only a minute ago. His bloodied hands tried to get a grip on Matvey’s wrists, but he kept slipping, and a choked sob left his throat when Matvey lifted one hand to take Vitali’s earpiece out and put it in his own ear instead.

‘Does anyone have eyes on Vitali?’

‘Vito, respond-! T-minus eight minutes until detonation, I can’t control them from here!’

‘Vitali, are you still inside?’

Matvey slowly lowered his hand, time seemingly slowing down around him as his eyes found Vitali’s- one of them a little bloodshot, both a little hazy from tears and pain, each and every blink lasting longer than the one before.

‘Second floor,’ he finally spoke, reaching up to gently cup his son’s cheek with his hand and leaning forward to kiss his forehead before moving his hand back to the wound.

‘Third door from the stairs. He’s bleeding out. Hurry.’

Why?

Vitali could not force the question out of his mouth, tears rolling down his cheeks as his gaze wandered off to the window next to him. He could see the sky from where he sat, the ink black void above Night City, turned all hues of blue from advertisement projections and the city lights down below. Could barely hear the alarm blasting through the building anymore, a comfortable ringing filling the space between his ears, low humming wrapping itself around him like a protective blanket as he felt himself slipping away.

‘You got what you wanted, no?’ he softly said, turning his head back to look at his father, using the last bit of strength in his body to lift his head from the wall.

‘I was wrong,’ Matvey simply answered, unable to look his son in the eyes as he glanced at the closed door of the room, some gunfire nearby causing the hairs on Vitali’s arms to stand up straight.

‘Wrong.’

Mockery dripped from Vitali’s voice and he scoffed- and coughed, blood spraying out of his mouth as he struggled to find a moment to breathe, spots dancing in front of his eyes.

It all felt so stupid now. The grand finale, everything had led up to this- but his father had been wrong, and none of it had mattered one single fucking bit and now Vitali was bleeding out and dying in a building set to explode in less than seven- six- minutes.

‘Wrong about what?’ he spat, letting his head collide with the wall with a bit more force than he had meant for.

And Matvey hesitated, visibly thinking as his gaze finally met Vitali’s again; cold, gray eyes staring right back at him, almost as if he was looking in a mirror, and Vitali finally realized- and Matvey could not help but notice- just how much he had started to look like his father over the years.

‘All of it.’

In a way, Vitali understood.

From the moment it had first been brought up, Vitali had known he would not be able to kill his father if it had to come down to it. A weakness, and he knew that; the one family member who had always complicated everything for him, the only one who had not rejected him in the way the others had- and even with everything else that had happened since, Vitali had not been able to stop seeing Matvey as his father.

Another choked sob left his lips as he tried to move, pain burning through all of his muscles with every single movement and panic was starting to take over, breathing shallow and barely enough to provide him with the oxygen he needed and he knew he was starting to pass out.

‘What changed?’ he blurted out, grabbing Matvey’s wrist again to force him to look back at him- but the move caused him to collapse, body sinking forward until his father caught him and instinctively pulled him closer, one hand still on his wound and the other holding his head which rested steadily on his shoulder.

Oh, how Vitali wanted to push him away- how he wanted to punch him, to scream at him, to tell him how much he hated him for putting him through hell most of his life and for never being there for him and for never standing up for him or picking his side when he needed it, and when everyone knew that Vitali was right and Nadya was wrong.

‘You did,’ Matvey finally answered, his voice barely audible and Vitali pushed his face into his father’s shirt in return, staining it with blood and sweat and tears- balled his shaky hand into a fist and dropped his knuckles against his father’s shoulder, wondering how it would feel to knock it out of place but knowing it wouldn’t solve anything and wouldn’t even make him feel better.

‘Suppose I did, too.’

Vitali could only see flashes.

A door opening- people charging in, enemies perhaps-? Mikhail appearing in his view, though Vitali could barely recognize his face as if he was looking at his friend years after they had last seen each other- six, if I remember correctly- forced apart by unforeseen and unfortunate circumstances that could probably have been prevented but it was too late to change any of it now.

The pressure on his wound vanished and he opened his mouth to scream, sudden sharp pain immobilizing his entire body and causing his vision to go dark. He felt a hand in his neck- someone plugging into the port below his ear, checking his vitals- and another on his chest, moments before plunging a Bounce Back directly between the two halves of his tattoo, a mere inch above the long faded gunshot wound the bullet of the Arasaka guard had left him with.

It hurt.

All of it hurt, and the brief rush of adrenaline caused by the medication made him nearly bolt up, several sets of hands gently pushing him back against the wall. He saw Mikhail again- and Vincent too now, reloading his gun moments before turning back toward the still open door of the room and firing at something that Vitali couldn’t see.

He was scared.

Reached out for Vincent, but he was too far away; reached out for Mikhail, but he was preoccupied, hands steadily working on something Vitali could no longer feel, wound numbed by-

By pain? Medication? Fear?

Vitali’s hands were gently pulled aside, held tightly by his father who was still there- still right beside him, despite everything, as if all their years apart and everything that had happened since did not matter anymore and in that moment it genuinely did not matter to Vitali, a strange sense of comfort washing over him and slowing the rapid, panicked beating of his heart.

Time to go.

Vitali was lifted on his feet, supported by Matvey and Mikhail- and suddenly they were no longer in the room, the blinding lights of the hallways disorienting and making it even harder for him to see. He no longer heard gunfire, the alarm blaring through the building swallowing each and every other noise whole- though the humming in his head was getting louder and louder, canceling everything else out.

More familiar faces- Cato, Huxley, Eddie- and Viktor, hurrying himself over to them but pausing upon spotting Matvey, cautious look in his eyes before giving him a barely visible nod and taking Mikhail’s place at Vitali’s side.

Two minutes.

They were almost at the exit now. At least, Vitali assumed- although he could not remember going down any stairs, and he could also not remember where the exit was in the first place. His head felt heavy and he could barely keep his eyes open now, exhaustion once more washing over him like waves rolling in on the shore.

‘Just hold on, Vitali. Almost there.’

He couldn’t even tell who was talking to him.

One of his legs gave out and he sank through his knees, held up by the two men by his sides alone, each and every blink becoming more and more difficult to recover from as his eyes wanted nothing more than to stay shut. Another voice urging him to stay awake, and his feet were lifted from the floor, and he could feel a cool breeze on h

#nuclearwriting #rbs much appreciated :) <3 #the chapter is supposed to end like that yes. sorry about that. giggles #do you want to kill me yet. :) do you #you'll have to read between the lines a little bit to see like. the similarities between vitali's and matvey's points of view #i didn't feel like spelling it all out but like. if you read a few of these paragraphs and switch the perspective it'd still read the same #vitali is a fucking beast in combat by the way he is so sexy #also the clear lack of a cane / the brace he usually wears is also making me insane. yes i initially fogor about it BUT.#it fits. it fits very nicely with the rest of the everything that's going on here #anyway as always lmk what you think!!! send me asks. yell at me in dms. kill me if you must. very excited to get some feedback :D #ch:the broker

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amazinglyegg · 1 year

Text

Companions as.../Shitposts Masterlist

Companions As...

How I make "Companions As..." posts

Birthday hats

Birthday hats 2

Cuteness Aggression

Dumb shirts

Games in my Steam library

Memes in my phone gallery

Memes in my phone gallery 2

Negutiv feadbak posts

r/Ambien posts

r/Disneyvacation posts

r/OddlySpecific posts

Things to never say to someone who just came out

What to say before eating dinner

Shitposts

Brotherhood branded tampons

Blind Betrayal is Danse getting a divorce

Companions smoke weed

Companions react that came to me in a dream

Character bingo, Danse

Danse and his big long words

Danse is a broken worm man

Danse looks like a duck

Danse simp

Danse and bivouacs

Danse during blind betrayal

Danse and Wombo AI

Danse and Proctor Ingram romcom

Danse and edgy memes

Desdemona is a horse girl

Death Road to Canada crossover

Deacon crashed my game out of embarrassment

Games in my Steam library companions would play

"Does The Dog Die" Fallout 4 page

Fallout Show ep 2 reaction

Fandom's reaction to blind betrayal

Gay gay homosexual gay (Danse and Maxson)

Good morning Desdemona

I would die for them

Loyalty and companions

Live slug reaction (Edward Deegan x Jack Cabot)

Maxson and name-calling

Madlibs Nick/DiMA story

Nick is a bomb :(

Nick <3

Nick Valentine's Son

Out of context notebook app

Paladin Danse fucking dies

Paladin Danse is so sexy

PENIS SIGN

[Poll] Who would win in a fight? Danse vs Fawkes

[Poll] Hypospecific Fallout 4 experiences

[Poll] FMK Nick Valentine

[Poll] Companions and cartwheels

Rating companions on what music they play on a roadtrip

Scribe Haylen decks Quinlan

*Slaps roof of Nick*

Things that would kill the companions immediately

The Office intro

Three types of friends

Venn diagram of Danse, Hancock, and Nick

Venn Diagram of my fears and things in Fallout 4

Water

Wasteland is an introvert's nightmare

What gender are the companions?

Why not get a Fallout 4 companion?

Would companions love Sole as a worm?

#masterlist

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the-worm-wiggles · 2 years

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Sometimes you have to pause dndads s2 e13 to go relisten to the talking sons s2 s3 ad bc bc bc ryton and the world swap and aaa god I really hope there's a Fry D'Pizzatonio ad next ts

Live slug reaction:

And frim me excitedly yelling to discord:

SLAMMING MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL THAT THE SONS PREDICTED CODE PURPLE WEEKS BEFORE IT WAS MENTIONED AS A TJING

ALSO

WHERE TF IS FRY D'PIZZATONIO???

BC HE SAID THAT "Margarita Pizza is an actual person of power in this right here universe" but also "this place hes never been blessed by the power of my great family's businesses" meaning that he can't be in the forgotten realms

But maybe it's just bc the D'Pizzatonio Businesses got forgotten about in the ryton dungeon thing

RIGHT HE SAID SAN DIMAS SO YEAH OK

My fry d'pizzatonio theory

The world's got swapped while he was falling between worlds so the direction of his falling got swapped and that's why he's still in the forgotten realms

#dndads spoilers #dndads #dungeons and daddies #dndads s2 #talking sons #fry d'pizzatonio #just.....fuck dude

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glowingbadger · 3 years

Note

Can i ask for Sylvain, Ashe or Dima with a reader who it’s their first time? Ty!

Goodness, who to choose ~ Let's just do headcanons for all three :D

Sylvain, Ashe, Dimitri x Reader's first time HCs

NSFW 18+

(briefly implied AFAB reader)

Sylvain:

- Sylvain's an interesting case because he's not likely to ask much about your sexual history before being with you. He's one of those "doesn't care where you've been cause everyone's got a past" types. So he's not likely to even know that it's your first time until either you tell him, or he's got you in bed and he's noticing your reactions and starting to put the pieces together.

- Once he knows he's your first though, he's going to double down his efforts to make sure it's an incredible, unforgettable first. He considers himself an expert (and it's hard to argue with him on this tbh), so he figures it's time to put that expertise to work and make sure you have the most mind-numbing, toe-curling, breath-taking first time possible. It's a matter of pride in his craft, after all, and he wants you to enjoy sex as much as he does~

- You may feel a bit anxious about 'living up' to Sylvain's past partners, but he's an unabashed dirty talker, and has no problem assuring you over and over that you're taking his cock so well, you feel incredible squeezing so tight around him, your moans drive him absolutely mad, and so on. If anything, he may be a bit overwhelming as a first- but if you can take it, you'll be treated to several tentative kink experimentations, multiple positions, and a lover determined to make you cum until you're incoherent.

- I personally don't write this often cause I don't like to glorify or stigmatize virginity or make more of a thing out of it than it is lol, but I think Sylvain definitely could get into a bit of a soft corruption kink with this- so thrilled to be the first one to see you fall apart into pleasure. Being the only person to touch you like this, to be inside of your precious little hole, to hear you cry their name- it fills him with a sort of rush of power and arousal that even he wasn't fully expecting.

Ashe:

- Ashe truly doesn't have strong feelings one way or another about your sexual past, and it's your first time, he'll do his best to make it as comfortable and pleasurable for you as possible. He hasn't had terribly many past partners himself, so he's more invested in getting to understand your mutual chemistry together and falling into a natural rhythm with you.

- Honestly, having your first time with Ashe is just about the ideal scenario. He's more than strong and agile enough to maneuver you into positions that will be pleasurable and easy for you to handle, but is also so caring and openly adoring that you'll never feel rushed or pressured about anything. He checks in with you frequently and is more than happy to adjust to your preferences. He figures there will be time in the future for him to bring up some of his own preferences- right now, all of his focus is on you.

- Ashe definitely wants you to be nice and wet and relaxed for him before even attempting to enter you. He'll cover your body with gentle yet heated kisses, and bury his head between your legs without hesitation. He'll move at a slow pace, the whole evening punctuated with darling "I love yous" and glowing smiles. Fortunately, his fingers are also quite dexterous, so it won't be hard for him to get you soaked for him.

- Out of a bit of anxiety or concern or both, he'll definitely want to spend some time after all is said and done talking about what you liked and didn't like. Though... if this conversation gets a bit too detailed, you'll start to gradually feel his cock stiffening once more. He shifts a little awkwardly and apologizes, but if you're up for it, you could definitely convince him to go another round.

Dimitri:

- Listen. My favorite Dimitri is "no premarital hand holding" Dimitri. Okay, probably not that prude, but still- your first time is likely to be his first time as well. He's anxious, and so in-his-head about it, but in a way, knowing that this is new for both of you is something of a comfort for him. He's glad to know that you can both spend the time to gradually explore one another's bodies and preferences without pre-established expectations.

- There's a wonderful sort of gap-appeal in this immensely powerful man who just wants to cherish you above everything and anyone else- and his reactions as he earns the privilege of your approving moans and tensed muscles are absolutely adorable. Knowing that he's making you feel good is such an intense turn on for him. He's trying to restrain himself, not to rush, but every time you sigh out his name or run your nails down his back, his cock throbs with need.

- The moment he's entirely held inside of you for the first time is an emotional one for him. He briefly pauses to collect himself, then meets your eyes with his own shining with adoration, and kisses you tenderly and sweetly. He asks if it's okay to move, and he starts slow. Soon enough though, he's barely consciously aware of what he's doing, and the two of you are simply moving on instinct together, allowing your passions to take over as you trade deep kisses and whispered praises.

- Definitely the type to say "thank you" once it's over. In general, the afterglow is this sort of antsy, overwhelmed happiness for him, and he's an utter and complete dork about it. He checks to make sure you're okay and he wasn't too rough about eight thousand times. He's also a big cuddler, holding you to his chest and kissing your hair over and over. He cant think of anything of substance to say to you, but he's just so full of his love and appreciation that words seem insufficient anyway.

#sylvain jose gautier #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #ashe ubert #fire emblem three houses #fe3h #fire emblem x reader #fire emblem smut #sylvain x reader #dimitri x reader #ashe x reader #not sfw writing #x reader

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ariel-seagull-wings · 3 years

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TOP 12 BEAUTIES (FROM BEAUTY AND THE BEAST)

@princesssarisa @sunlit-music @mademoiselle-princesse @the-blue-fairie

@amalthea9 @theancientvaleofsoulmaking @astrangechoiceoffavourites @metropolitan-mutant-of-ark @superkingofpriderock @draculashaxanbride @lioness--hart @anne-white-star @gravedangerahead @grafedelweiss @lord-antihero

Growing up, Beauty and The Beast has always been one of the fairy tales wich i have a deep emotional connection. I love how it combines elements of adventure, mystery, horror, comedy, drama and romance to form a beautifull narrative about external versus internal beauty, coming of age, self-discovery, familial love, friendship, building of a romantic love and redemption. And connecting me to this emotional rollercoaster of a story, is the heroine, the curious and sensitive Beauty, who faces her fear of the unknown to save the life of her father, and trough this act of sacrifice discovers eternal happiness in the most unlikely of places.

And tonight, i make this humble ranking in tribute to her.

12º Mitsuko Horie as Maria in Grimm’s Fairy Tale Classics (1989)

In this anime episode based on the german variant The Summer and Winter Garden, we are presented to Maria, a simple and hardworking peasant girl who is kidnapped by the Beast away from her family home. Maria lives a long period of silent sadness in the Beasts palace, until he starts to show a more sensitive and considered side, and she forgives him. When he lets her go visiting her family, Maria has to say goodbye to her father, who dies, and due to her grief, forgets for a moment of Beast’s castle. And after finally remembering, she rushes in despair hoping to save Beasts’s life...

Maria is the most vulnerable encarnation of Beauty, and one cannot help but constantly want to hug her in protection.

11º Léa Seydoux as Belle in Christophe Gans’s La Belle et La Bête (2014)

A young woman who tries to act always calm and serious, but inside herself hides deep sadness and melancholy, born from the feeling that she is considered guilty for the death of her mother at her childbirth. So she treats her journey to the Beast’s castle as a way to make amends, because she feels that if her father went to die at the Beast’s hands for picking a rose that she asked for, it would be another death that would be her guilt. And in the castle, exploring the mirrors that reveal the Beast’s past, she learns that someone shares her desire of becoming cleaned from any feeling of guilt, and take its right to happiness.

10º Trish Van Devere as Belle Beaumont in Beauty and The Beast (1976)

An older, more grounded and no nonsense, but still sensitive portrayal. Coming from a family formed by a well-intentioned but misguided father, two materialistic and mean spirited older sisters, a vulnerable younger brother and a cruel brother-in-law, Van Devere’s Belle has great pressure over her shoulders to be the voice of reason to people around her, wich makes us empathize with the state of tiredness she gets in. She is always tough and honest when necessary, and kind and gentle when she also needs to be.

09º Nina Krachkovskaya/Amy Irving as Anastasia/Nastenka in Soyuzmultifilm’s Alenkiy Tsvetochek (1952)

In this animated short adaptation of the russian variant The Scarlet/Crimson Flower, writen by Sergey Aksakov, our Beauty is Nastenka, the youngest daughter of a brave captain of a merchant ship. Nastenka is a dreamer, shy, and prone to philosophical melancholy, even tough she doesn’t necessarily knows the reason of her sadness, what makes her self-discovery all the more relatable to audiences, specially young ones.

08º Marina Ilichyova as Aljona in Irina Povolotskaya’s Alenkiy Tsvetochek (1977)

Besides also sharing the shiness, sadness and melancholy of her animated counterpart, the peasant-girl-next-door Aljona is also a deeply frightened young woman, whose narrative arc involves learning to let herself loose a bit more, and not let her fears dominate her. This arc is highlighted in the moments where she gives a subtle smile when she talks to and plays along the Beast of the Forest.

07º Joyce Taylor as Lady Althea in Edward L. Kahn’s Beauty and The Beast (1962)

An elegant and confident noble lady, Lady Althea is the fiancée of the wise, brave and humble Duke Eduardo. She arrives at the dukedom excited with the wedding, but makes a discovery: since assuming power as a ruler, Eduardo is under a curse that turns him into a Beast every night. Now Althea has to deal with the dillema of staying to support her fiancée with her love, or leaving, in fear of his Beast side, and Joyce Taylor’s performance in the role engages us into this dilema till the end.

06º Dima Bawab as Zémire in Zémire et Azor (2014)

This comic ópera composed by the belgian André Grétry transports the story to a fairy tale land combination between France and Persia, presenting us to the adorable Zémire, a merry, romantic and idealistic young lady, who enjoys letting herself get loose in a world of dreams, reading books of fantastical stories. She also is curious and inquisitive, insistently questioning the servant Ali until he thells what concers so much her father, so she gets to take the journey to the palace of Azor, the Prince turned into a Beast. There, at first she is scared, but then, showing a sense of wonder, starts playing with the wolves that guard the palace and have merry conversations with Azor, with whom she eventually falls in love.

05º Josette Day as Belle in Jean Cocteau’s La Belle et La Bête (1946)

At the same time a relatable audience surrogate, and an individual character in her own right. Day’s Belle starts as a mysteryous woman, with a stoic, resilient face, and elegant, if rigid, gait. As the film rolls, we slowly get to piece her passions, her vulnerabilities and her fears. Specially her fear of leaving the comfort of her family home life, adventuring to the unknown, and falling in love.

04º Vanessa Williams as Beauty in Happily Ever After: Fairy Tales For Every Child (1995)

The sister of a tall and strong, tough lazy man, named Tree, and a pretty, tough vain lady, named Precious, William’s Beauty is brave, truthfull, altruístic, and also has a light hearted sense of humour and an introspective sensibility. The highlight of this encarnation is when she is at her home room’s window, she sings a song pondering her doubts between staying at her family home, or returning to the Beast’s palace.

03º Beauty from Megan Kearney’s Beauty and The Beast Webcomic (2012-17)

Made as a tribute to other Beauties that camed previously, while being her own version. An emotionally repressed young woman, who lost her mother at childbirth, and suffered bullying during childhood, being called ‘ugly duckling’ by other kids, Kearney’s Beauty grows burying her emotions in the hard work on her family’s farm, and is in search of an identity and a place in the world. One day she asks for a rose that grows in winter that appeared in her dreams, and this is the exciting incident that catapults her journey to the Beast’s enchanted castle, where she blossoms into a lady who is brave, witty and confident.

02º Paige O’Hara as Belle in Disney’s Beauty and The Beast (1991)

The first encarnation i ever saw when i was a child. The young lady who newly arrived at a small village, with an introspective bookworm behaviour that is the target of her neighbours. She doesn’t pay attention to the gossip, but laments her loneliness, and longs for a friend who understands her sensitivity and shares her desire for adventure in the great wild somewhere. When she first meets the Beast, she resists coming closer to him, who provokes fear and anger in her. But after the Beast saves her from wolves, Belle’s reaction, while still energic, becomes of compassion, empathy and zeal. As she spends more time with the Beast, learning to see him as her friend, Belle finally notices that her beautfiull discontentment was rewarded, because she finally found someone to understand her.

And now the moment that everyone was whaiting: My Number One Beauty is...

01º Zdena Studenková as Julie in Juraj Herz’s Panna a Netvor (1978)

Julie is the youngest of the merchant’s three daughters, and also the daughter born of his second wife and greatest love. This makes her the merchant’s favorite daughter, while in turn that favoritism makes her life very sheltered, since her father fears loosing her like he lost her mother. When she takes her father’s place and rides a horse to the ruins that the Beast calls his palace, you get the feel that is not only out of filial duty, but also a desire for freedom that motivates her decision. Arriving at her destiny, she is fascinated by the ruins and the magic that they contain, and gets even more fascinated by the voice of the mysteryous Beast, who unbknowns to Julie, is containing a violent desire to devour her. Slowly, Julie learns that it wasn’t just out of curiosity that she inquired and playfully talked to her host: even without seeing the Beast, Julie is falling in love with Beast, and must decide wheter she accepts this feeling or rejects it and returns to the safety of her family home.

Starting out as passive, but slowly revealing herself to be braver than she ever expected, showing strenght in her vulnerability when learning to find the sublime in the grotesque, Zdena Studenková’s Julie is both an easy to follow audience surrogate and a unique individual character, beautifull in her complexities, and that is why she is my Number One portrayal of Beauty.

HONORABLE MENTIONS: Susan Sarandon as Beauty in Faerie Tale Theatre (1984)

#beauty and the beast #fairy tales #one of my favorite franchises #pop culture #feminism #literature #fantasy #folklore #mithology #genre fiction

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wanderlustinwonderland18 · 4 years

Text

Stepanova & Bukin: “Our Fans Really Want Us To Be Together”

How do you feel about being the new Russian National Champions?

Vanya: Wow! To be honest, we didn't get enough sleep. It was a busy time. We sat, talked with the team, discussed a lot. This was our first competition in a long time, so we were a little exhausted.

Sasha: So far, we don't really feel that something major has happened, but the assessment of our coaches is very important for us. They didn't know how we would perform. Yes, the coaches did everything to make us perform well. But from the very start, everything depended only on us... And we managed to perform well so many thanks to our team for this.

Vanya: In general, we liked everything very much. We missed the audience a lot and we hope to perform somewhere else soon. Yes, there are nerves, but they are very pleasant nerves. Competition is great.

Is this national title the main award of your career?

Sasha: No. We have silver and bronze medals from European Championships. We have also performed well at World Championships. The situation here is completely different in all aspects. We had a different task... But overall, we are very pleased with the title of Russian National Champions.

Vanya: Yes, indeed, this is the first time for us. The support was great. Even though the arena was only 35 percent capacity, we felt incredible warmth.

Is the lack of vivid emotions due to the fact your main competitors were not here?

Sasha: Yes, many skaters were missing in Chelyabinsk. It’s a pity that this is the case. We, ourselves, were not able to participate in early competitions such as the Grand Prix in Moscow.

Vanya: For instance, Dima Aliev did not compete here although we were expecting him. We are friends with him, and we communicate a lot. We hope to meet the entire Russian team after the New Year.

Did this situation personally blur the impression of the Russian Championships?

Sasha: Of course. In addition, the federation indicated that this is not the final selection for the World Championships. We simply perceived it as a certain stage where we need to show what we are capable of.

Vanya: On the other hand, the fact that it was our first competition in a long time added more importance to it.

Is it a shame that Europeans got cancelled, while everything goes well in other sports?

Vanya: Of course, it's upsetting.

Sasha: I don’t really follow what is happening in other sports, but the cancellation of our Europeans was not a surprise. Everything pointed towards this direction gradually. We were ready for this news. We understand that holding a competition in such conditions is difficult and unsafe.

How do you feel now?

Sasha: I’m good now, thanks.

Vanya: Yes, we have already recovered.

You guys joked at the press conference that you were unlucky, because you were ill with COVID at different times.

(Sasha and Vanya laugh)

Sasha: Well, yes, we were really out of luck.

How did this happen? You spend so much time together.

Sasha: At first, I just caught a cold. There was bronchitis or something like that. I got better and then fell ill again, but with COVID. I don't know why that happened, but after I got sick, the coaches and Vanya fell ill.

Vanya: Why this happened is still a mystery to us. It is very incomprehensible.

How did you handle the disease?

Vanya: It was not easy. I had palpable lung damage. The temperature was monitored for a very long time, and the dose of antibiotics was quite strong. The hardest part is not how I got sick, but how I went back to the ice. It was very strange and a little scary.

Sasha: You may be fine at home, but as soon as you go out on the ice, you immediately start coughing due to the cold air and the slightest exertion. Usually for us, skating in circles is nothing at all... But after the illness, the body perceives it as a serious threat and reacts instantly. It is scary. You start thinking: "How am I going to skate now?"

Did it come to hospitalizations?

Sasha and Vanya: No.

Vanya: Fortunately, it didn't come to that. I didn't have extreme temperatures (around 37.5 to 38 only). The only problem is that it lasted a long time. Sasha’s condition was different though. High temperatures in the beginning, but the illness quickly disappeared.

Sasha: In my case, it started with a common cold, then the whole body began to ache. I came back from training and it felt like someone was breaking all my bones from the inside. Then, body temperature began to rise. The maximum was over 39. I immediately took antibiotics. The state itself was unpleasant - you go to the kitchen, or to the bathroom and you are already very tired. You also hear how you breathe.

Sasha, I looked at your Instagram and came to the conclusion that you love black and white tones. Why is that?

Sasha: In black and white, there is...

Vanya: Magic.

Sasha: Yes, some kind of charm. Many photographs look better in black and white. I like the lines and shadows.

Do you hear from fans a lot?

Sasha: Very much! Just yesterday, one fan gave gifts through the coaches. She loves our group very much, follows us to all competitions. From my understanding, she is not alone. It is just her who communicates with us. I called for a photo session, but unfortunately, this has not yet happened because of the virus situation. But yes, they write a lot! They post stories, write long messages. Sometimes I read and tears come, people give a lot of themselves. You think how this is possible. Many are busy with family and work, but they take time for us.

Vanya: Most of the times, they post our reactions to performances. This has already become a meme! We have been compared to animals. Sasha recently reposted a picture where I am a dog who smiles, and she is a serious cat. In many shots, myself and Irina Vasilievna (Zhuk) are explosive, and Sasha and Alexander Vasilievich (Svinin) are more restrained. It’s cool and funny!

Does this reflect your nature?

Vanya: I’m probably more emotional after performances. I keep everything to myself so much that it just breaks at the end. Sasha, on the other hand, gives so much to the performances and at the end, she has nothing left.

Are you offended by any comments?

Vanya: Some comments are very interesting. There have certainly been times where I wanted to respond, but realized that it was pointless. It is nonsense.

Sasha: Because you will be invested in it.

Vanya: Now, I laugh at such comments. If a person doesn't like something and expresses their opinion, please, especially if it is really constructive criticism. When you see that this is not the first time a person has written, and really understands figure skating, you can listen to this... But there are some that just write for the sake of saying something.

Sasha: Yes, there are some who throw out unnecessary emotions based on nothing.

Has it ever happened that thanks to a person's comment, you changed something in your performance?

Vanya: A couple of times.

Sasha: It is not with regards to steps and technical issues though. Most comments are like “I want power, brightness.” At such moments, you can reconsider and decide that, indeed, something is missing somewhere.

It happens that unpleasant things are written by fans of other teams.

Vanya: I'm okay with this, but if you like another couple, why are you writing under our post? Go to your guys and write good things.

Sasha, you are sometimes compared to Victoria Sinitsina? Are you okay with this?

Sasha: Yes, absolutely! We sometimes laugh about our similarities. We also have common views on wardrobe sometimes.

What about the comments that you and Vanya would make a good pair in real life?

Sasha: It's fun too.

Vanya: On one hand, that is a compliment because it means that we can show real emotions on the ice. People believe in our story and think that we are also together behind the scenes... But we have already said many times that we are not a couple in real life, so it is quite strange when people ask about this.

Sasha: It's very cute though!

Vanya: Those who have been with us for a long time know that we are not together, but our fans really want us to be together.

Do you follow the situation regarding Russia's two-year sentence? You guys already had some bad experiences in the past with this decision.

Sasha: Yes, we heard this news. As far as I understand, the consequences could be much worse - all athletes from Russia could be expelled indiscriminately. They could say, "Russia, goodbye." But we are still allowed to compete. Let it be without the anthem at the World Championships and the Olympics, but on our form, the name of the country can still be written. This is already pleasant for us. I do not know all the little details, but in this situation, I want to find something positive.

Vanya: Of course, we are upset, because this is our country. We would very much like to perform with the flag and anthem. But the decision has been made, and nothing can be done. We will calmly prepare for all the major competitions. It remains to be seen how athletes will be admitted to the Olympics.

What would you change in ice dance to make it more popular?

Vanya: Ice Dance is a very creative sport. Everything should look simple, easy, and unpredictable with us. In my opinion, to make our sport more popular, teams must be given more freedom for creativity. Then, the couples will not be alike. We have many rules that do not allow us to go beyond.

Sasha: In general, the rules are made for judges. Previously, ice dance judging was based on "like it or not like it."

Do you have long-term career plans?

Vanya: This season has shown that it is difficult to plan the future. We have decided to live day by day, and prepare for specific events. There have been many times where we plan a lot, and in the end, the plan does not come true.

Do you think about life after sports?

Sasha: I do not have any serious thoughts. Maybe participate in shows, but there are no specific plans. However, I can definitely say that I want to stay in figure skating and take a new role in the sport. For now, we still have a lot to accomplish. We have just reached the top level. We have just started receiving recognition from the audience.

Vanya: And we are very grateful to our fans. When new broke out that we were sick, many wrote to us and supported us. It is really motivating!

Do you have plans for the New Year holidays?

Sasha: I would like to go to the skating rink in front of the Red Square. I have never been to massive street skating rinks, so I want to feel this atmosphere.

Vanya: Oh cool! Let's go and invite everyone!

A small wish to your fans at the end of the interview?

Sasha: Health and love. Be happy no matter what. Live everyday.

Vanya: To make all your dreams come true in the New Year.

#MY BABIES ❤️#Stepanova Bukin #Alexandra Stepanova #Ivan Bukin #Figure Skating #Ice Dance #Dance #Skating #Sports #Arts #Interview #Partnership #Love #Life

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thinices · 2 years

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( brianne tju, non-binary, they/she ) the stowe ski resort welcomes RIZKY 'RI' SOTTO! they’re a 26 year-old ATTORNEY. the staff says they’re quite CLEVER, but i heard they can also be pretty RETICENT. rumor has it that THEY ONCE WENT HIKING WITH A GROUP OF FRIENDS AND HAD TO BE RESCUED NEAR THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AFTER ACCIDENTALLY GOING OFF TRAIL, and they like to spend their free time DOING SUDOKU PUZZLES.

WOOHOO im back with a different second character !! tldr; they’re a sad boi who is currently dealing with the broken engagement to who they think is the love of their life haha 🙃

T R I G G E R W A R N I N G S : very brief mentions/allusions to homophobia and enbyphobia

Q U I C K F A C T S –

full name : rizky sotto . nickname : ri , kiki ( only by family ) . age : 26 . gender : non-binary . pronouns : they / she . orientation : lesbian . relationship status : single . place of birth : taos , new mexico current residency : lower east side – new york city , new york . parents : mother – citra sotto (née dimas ) . father – rizki sotto . siblings : younger sibling ( may send in a WC for this one ) children : none . occupation : in-house counsel at a tech company . faceclaim : brianne tju .

A P P E A R A N C E –

hair color : black hair length : hella short rn and they’ve got an undercut too eye color : brown height : 5′1 tattoos : small six of hearts tattoo on their right bicep that they impulsively got during law school because they were “really bored” and a paper airplane on the inside of their left ring finger ( they got relatively small tattoos because they didn’t want to get a massive lecture from their parents lol ) piercings : earlobes and a cartilage piercing in their left ear

B A C K G R O U N D – ( CW : very brief mentions/allusions to homophobia and enbyphobia )

born the older of two, rizky had a good few years before having to fully take on that older sibling persona. their parents were both nurses so they made a pretty good living and for the most part, ri and their sibling didn’t want for anything growing up. when ri was 10, their parents decided to move the family to santa fe ( about a 1.5 hour drive from taos ) to be closer to other family members. while ri was sad to be leaving taos ( and all of their friends ), they didn’t mind getting to move closer to their aunts and uncles in santa fe because it made their parents really happy to have that kind of support around.

starting school in santa fe wasn’t too bad because a lot of their cousins, older and younger, were either in the same school or in the neighboring schools. starting high school, however, was a different beast. they had started to have an inkling that they weren’t exactly like their other girl-friends in that. . . well, they were pretty sure they didn’t like guys at all. regardless, there was a cute boy in their freshman year who took a liking to ri so when he asked them to homecoming, they said yes and the two started a relationship that would reach a mutually-decided break up about four months later.

sophomore year, they came out as a lesbian and for the most part, it went well. they were most afraid of their family’s reaction, but everyone – save for an uncle or a cousin who made a couple of comments before being shut tf down by everyone else – accepted them fairly easily. tbh though they’re kind of a soft, pining boi so even though there were ladies who would ask them out and show interest, they of course decided to set their sights ( and heart ) on the unattainable beautiful and kind popular girl. ( maybe something happened with the girl, maybe nothing did but ri was definitely in one real relationship before the end of high school )

after graduating high school, they went to college on the east coast, managing to get a full ride to a highly ranked liberal arts college in the northeast. this was where they kind of fully went through the journey of figuring out their gender identity. at that point, their coming out was more like an over-the-phone thing because they feared they wouldn’t be able to do it in person. luckily their parents and sibling were very open to it, though it took a while for their dad to really understand it, but at the very least, they made a concerted effort to use the right pronouns.

unfortunately, coming out as non-binary led to a bit a tiff between their immediate family and some extended family members. there are some members of the family that simply do not speak to them or even really acknowledge their existence, so that pretty much deterred ri from wanting to head home following college. therefore, they only applied to law schools on the east coast, ending up at one in dc. and that’s where they met her.

ri and their ex-fiancee shared a first-year class together but didn't actually talk until they ran into each other at a bar the next semester. she started flirting with them and ri, not one for hookups, just made sure she got home safely. the ex-fiancee wasn't much for relationships, but ri made a deal with her: “give me a chance for two weeks, and if you don't want to go out with me after that, then at least I tried.” surprisingly ( but also sort of unsurprisingly bc ri can be charming when they want ) ri charmed the ex-fiancee and before long they got together. they proposed a week following graduation, knowing they were both planning to move to nyc after. six months in, they break things off ( sort of mutual, but not really ? ), and despite deciding to be friends, not much effort has been made on that front.

NOW : ri is basically reeling from the breakup and she wanted to come “home”, but not home home for obvious reasons ( santa fe ) . in all honesty , they haven’t even been back to visit taos since before high school , so it’s been a minute . but they knew they needed to take a break and “ heal or whatever ” as was lovingly suggested to them by their sibling ( and friends ) , and taos seemed like the best place to go.

A E S T H E T I C S / P E R S O N AL I T Y –

first off they’re a COMMITMENT-PHOBE THROUGH AND THROUGH but when they commit, they COMMIT. unfortunately, with how their last relationship ended, they’re pretty much regretting every decision they’ve made since starting law school ( esp deciding to get a job in and move to new york for a girl when their unwillingness to do that with their college s/o was one of the biggest reasons that relationship crumbled ) they’ve regressed back to their heavily commitment-phobic ways which has really just had them fully reverting back to their softboi pining loser ways :)

they’re sort of a massive nerd sometimes ??? not like in a ‘their interests are nerdy’ kind of way but in a ‘they nerd out over their interests’ kind of way

actually pretty sporty !! they know how to ski and snowboard pretty well ( not competition-level or anything but they get by ). they were on the varsity tennis team in high school and they also played a lot of intramural soccer in college ( mostly goalkeeper, if you can believe it with their height )

fun and witty, but it takes a while for them to really open up to people. they hide a lot of their feelings in sarcasm and jokes, but they’re working on it ( sort of ) !!

obsessed with making a playlist for everything ??? they’re pretty sure they’ve got like over 100 playlists on spotify and some of them are wildly specific while others are just for different seasons or different months ( and also lowkey always had headphones on or airpods in like getting their attention is difficult sometimes )

clothing style is pretty chill – big fan of oversized sweaters and hoodies and button ups and joggers outside of work. basically they really like layers !! they’d never admit but they’re also kind of a sneakerhead. they’re also kind of a brand whore ( for which they will easily and openly blame their mother ) but let’s just say it’s good that she makes a ton of money doing what they do because it lets them afford really nice things. also backwards caps and beanies are their thing but they’ve grown out of it a little bit since they never really wears hats to work or anything. also they love rings !! but they have like a very specific bracelet and necklace that they’ve had since college and they basically never take them off unless they’re in the shower tbh

grew up playing guitar and piano ( and lowkey tried to start a band like three times but that dream is dead and gone lol )

they’re kind of a loser in the best way like always flustered around pretty non-men, very non-confrontational ( though this may be in the worst way )

aggressively loyal. like they are definitely a person you want in your corner because they will FIGHT and i mean like verbally and physically fight for you.

W A N T E D C O N N E C T I O N S –

E X E S ! they might have one or two of these tbh maybe a guy they “dated” in high school before they came out ; maybe someone they dated after coming out but who they either ended up breaking things off with when they left for college or during college ( after trying to do long distance )

R I D E O R D I E ! this person is their best friend since birth basically and this person is one of the reasons that ri even came back to taos . even after they moved away to santa fe , the two stayed in touch with each other and their friendship is still very strong to this day . ( this person could also be the one ri is crashing with ??? )

C H I L D H O O D F R I E N D S ! maybe they were friends back before ri and her family moved to santa fe and they lost touch ???

E N E M I E S ! idk this could literally be anything tbh but it’d be fun !

F A M I L Y C O N N E C T I O N S ! distant cousins ??? old family friends ??? “my mom is friends with your mom” kind of thing ???

A N Y T H I N G ! if there’s anything else your beautiful mind can think of , pls lmk and plot with me ! i love plots and i want all the plots so pls

#taos.intro #RIZKY SOTTO ❮ character study ❯

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everydayyoulovemeless · 1 year

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Fo4 Companions (+Sturges, DiMA, and Travis) Reactions To Being Taken To Nuka-World

➼ Word Count » 1.1k ➼ Warnings » None

MacCready really wants to take his son to the Kiddie Kingdom. He thinks it'd be fun to show him around the castle, although, he'll try to avoid the fun house. He thinks it's too creepy, and all the ghouls set him on edge, especially Oswald. There’s something about magicians that MacCready finds weird.

Nick only really went to Nuka-World to make sure you stayed out of trouble, he couldn't care less about the carnivals, however, he did find the Grandchester Mystery Manor kinda exciting. He liked the chase and the detective work that was vaguely required for the quest. It was a nice change of pace from his usual work.

Cait hates it there so much. All the slaves remind her of when she used to be one and she'll probably end up beating the gang leaders, specifically Mason (he just annoys her the most) But after she's done and satisfied, she'd love to visit the little rigged box games that sit on the sides of the roads. She wants to prove to you that she can actually beat them and not fall into their money traps.

Danse thinks the place is absolutely disgusting. He can't stand the sight of so many raiders in one place. He'd want to leave immediately and call in for backup just to have the place cleared. Then maybe the Brotherhood could make better use of the area. He goes around promising the settlers that help is on the way and that they’ll be freed soon.

Preston also can't stand it there. He'll constantly be on edge if you take him. He’d much rather spend his time with the hubologists than anywhere near the raider gangs and will gladly help get them their spacesuits.

Codsworth can't help but want to tidy the place up. Those overflowing trash cans will be no more! Codsworth refuses to let one piece of plastic pollute any of the areas. The raiders will harass him for it, but after 200 years with nothing to do, he's so happy to be given a worthwhile task.

Piper’s dead set on finding Bradberton. Thinks it'll make good press and she's semi-interested in meeting the man who invented Nuka-Cola. She'd get along with Sierra well enough that they'd end up roping you into joining their little hunt. Interviews the absolute shit out of him and it makes him want to die even more.

Curie finds the Safari Adventure zone so exciting. She loves analyzing the gatorclaws and doing research on the ghoulrillas, but her favorite part of Nuka-World is Cito. She and Cito become close friends really fast. Their general innocence is something they bond over very quickly. Curie will ask a lot of questions to Cito, and Cito will gladly share his livelihood and culture with the excited synth.

Strong thinks the Operators and Disciples look too much like robots and ends up massacring all the raiders in the park. However, he really likes the Disciples' base cause there are very convenient corpses everywhere for him to eat. He’d be fine with Mason until the Pack tried to put a bomb collar on him and put him in a cage, then he kills them too.

Hancock and the ghouls at Kiddie Kingdom will be as close as close can be. Hancock will help Oswald defend the area and will become a sort of second Mayor to Kiddie Kingdom. The lot of them are going to have a blast. He convinces Oswald to get rid of most of the radiation and makes the place into a pretty nice place to live for ghouls and people alike.

The amount of Nuka-World merch that Deacon will start to gather would cause any sane person to weep in distress. He has way too much fun wearing Sierra's cappy glasses and especially loved going around and finding the hidden Cappy's. He'd force you to go on this little treasure hunt with him, it'd be good for the two of you to take a vacation anyway.

X6-88 only wants to spend his time in the Galactic Zone. The space themes with all the robots make him feel intrigued, even if everything there is hostile. He’ll try and see if anything he finds there could be useful to help further the progression of the Institute’s success. He'd get along well enough with Nisha, but if you and her ever got into an argument, he'd be at your side in an instant spitting threats at her and the rest of the raiders.

Dogmeat has a great time chasing the Pack members around because of the little stuffed animals they have attached to them. He gets a little scared when they throw him into the dog-fighting arena though.

Old Longfellow’s favorite part is fighting the Mirelurks at the industrial plant. It reminds him the most of home. It's also the most non-desert-like area in the entire park. Longfellow doesn't have much of an opinion of being brought there, he's just glad you took him instead of Gage, that way he can make sure you're not being taken advantage of in any capacity. He thinks the entire 'boss' ordeal is suspicious and doesn't trust anyone in Nuka-World.

Gage’s favorite part will always be the grill area. Just something about being above it all that makes him feel at ease. It's where he spends the most time anyway, I mean, it's quite literally his home.

Sturges likes walking around in one of the cowboy outfits that the sheriffs give you. He thinks it matches his accent nicely and he just loves the Southern theme of the Dry Rock Gulch in general. He was really interested in Colter’s power armor too when you two first showed up and at some point probably left to take it apart.

DiMA definitely prefers the foggy atmosphere of Far Harbor better than the sunny, chaotic energy that Nuka-World holds. At any rate, the Raiders there are gonna hate him. They think he talks too much and they'll probably try to kill him. Nevertheless, he still likes to scrounge around for any pre-war technology to study or areas to look into.

Travis doesn't know why you decided to take him there. He'll be cowering behind you the entire time, so worried about everyone staring at him. Even when you tell him that you're technically the boss, he doesn't want anything to do with it. He refuses to turn his radio on while you're there, he's so scared that Red-Eye will come down and fight him over who has the better station.

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malarkiness · 3 years

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I finished The Hidden Palace a while back and now I want to talk to myself about it, so.

I honestly expected Chava and Ahmad to have a will-they-won't-they thing going for about half this novel, but NOPE. That's clarified like 20 pages in. They will. And they do. Often. 🎉🎉🎉

Something that's explored a bit more in this book is not only how different Chava and Ahmad are due to their natures as a golem and a jinni, but also how different they are just because one's trying to live as a woman and the other as a man. Like that scene where they're talking about women's suffrage (as one does immediately after sex), Ahmad just doesn't get why Chava would give a damn about it when she's not a human woman, and Chava can't make him understand that regardless of her being a golem, she's seen as and treated like a woman, and blending in for her means a lot more capitulating to what he sees as petty human problems that are beneath him. And Ahmad really does take his freedom -- even while he's bound to human form -- as a male for granted. And it takes him forever to realize that Chava can't have that (and likely won't have it for several decades). The fact that the book ends with Ahmad leaving for a new city purely to satisfy his own curiosity while Chava disguises herself as a maid in her own house (that she can't even own outright because of her sex) is such a fitting way to cap that theme, honestly.

All this made me wonder how their storylines would change if Ahmad were female and Chava male, tbh. I think Ahmad would've snapped and resorted to total isolation much, much sooner, while Chava likely wouldn't exist at all because the whole reason she was created was to fulfill some creepy dude's desire for the perfect obedient woman.

Something that really bothered me, though, was how Ahmad handled Arbeely's diagnosis. Like I always imagined he wouldn't take Arbeely's death well, but I didn't expect him to just leave at the first sign of it and never see him again. It's funny because Ahmad sort of justifies distancing himself from humans because of what he did to Sophia (and Fadwa, but she's weirdly never mentioned in this book), but obviously you can hurt someone through inaction, too. I get that Ahmad had his own way of processing his grief about what was coming, and that he and Arbeely rarely actually talked about what they needed to even before the latter's diagnosis so maybe this reaction was just par the course, but still. That's such a callous way for their relationship to end, and Arbeely deserved so much better from him.

Honestly, Ahmad is almost insufferable in this book, lmao. Like that's perfect characterization, and I wouldn't change anything about it, but just. I totally understand why almost every female character ends up hating him.

I loved so many of the character relationships/interactions in this book:

I think Ahmad and Maryam's might be my favorite, what with her basically taking on the responsibility (from Arbeely) to protect the community from Ahmad and vice versa. It was a perfect follow-up to learning that she was the one who actually brought Ahmad to NYC in the first place. And I loved her line to Ahmad about humans eventually catching up to and possibly even surpassing him within his lifetime.

Sophia and Dima's relationship was interesting, too. I was hoping they would stay together in some way, especially after Dima got fed up with Ahmad after like two days, lmao. She even says that she wishes Sophia had been the one she had been searching for all this time, which.... 👀 Anyway, Dima and Sophia are essentially bound together anyway at the end of the book. If there's a third book, I'd love to see more of them together, trying to navigate their bizarre relationship (especially with both of them being outcasts).

I like that Anna and Chava still have this awkward, arm's-length sort of friendship going on, while Anna continues to just have 0 patience for Ahmad, period.

Honestly, I think my favorite part of the whole book was the last few chapters where all of the main cast is finally in the same room together. You have, what, five humans who likely would've never met one another if it weren't for the fact that they all have a fantastical creature or two in common. At a certain point, I just started wondering which human was going to knock on the Amherst door next. Sophia? The Radzins? It was really sweet, too, because Ahmad's initially so annoyed by everyone and their mother showing up at his building, but then he gradually eases into it.

I'll admit I didn't really like Toby's little sleuthing storyline all that much. It actually reminded me a lot of Schaalman trying to track down the key to eternal life in the first book: it's a character trying to solve a mystery that the reader already knows most of the answers to. The main difference is that Schaalman was a fascinating character, while Toby... is just Toby, God love him. But I did like his first scene with Kreindel, though, and how he was the one who got her to start thinking that she didn't have to fully depend on Yossele for protection/emotional support.

One thing that I'm not totally sure how I feel about is Yossele's ending. I get that he and Dima are in this story (partly) just to show how different Chava and Ahmad are from who they used to be/what they're supposed to be, and also highlight just how drastically different jinn and golems are as creatures. Jinn are free and flighty and arrogant and don't answer to anyone, while golems are almost more akin to tools than conscious beings. And Yossele embodies that so clearly that when his master has to destroy him, it really puts his nature at odds with Chava's. I was hoping that he'd get a more ambiguous ending, like maybe he'd stay wandering at the bottom of the Hudson or even the Atlantic, and somehow eventually gain more self-awareness, but in the end, he's destroyed because he's dangerous and because he's just... not needed anymore. Kreindel now has friends and people who will look out for her, so there's no reason for Yossele to keep living as her protector. It's bleak, but that's what's meant to happen to a golem that's outlived its purpose, and that just leaves you wondering about Chava's future.

That said, Ahmad giving Chava the instructions for her destruction because he understands that it's something she has a right to, but writing that "[she] deserves life" regardless? Like........... I didn't cry at any point while reading this book, but I came close there.

For the record, I don't care that Ahmad broke his promise Chava, honestly, like I kind of doubt he'd have kept it even if they hadn't been essentially broken up by that point. I think the way their promise was amended at the end of the book -- that they'd always love each other, even if they wouldn't always be together -- was a nice touch. That's really a perfect way to handle a relationship between two creatures like them who will likely live for centuries (if not longer for Chava). I'm hoping this means that they'll just weave in and out of each other's lives, and think that was meant to be implied when Chava picked up a train schedule after Ahmad left for Chicago.

I loved Chava as a teacher. That was such a perfect role for her to fit into because she can totally empathize with having to learn completely new information with 0 background to any of it, and she'd always take her students seriously. It’s sweet, and it seems like she really could make a life out of this because she clearly enjoys it so much and it comes to her so naturally, but then she finds Yossele, and it all falls apart. It sort of reminds me of that moment near the end of the first book where she briefly experienced having a master again, and how it was strangely exhilarating for her, even though she was being forced to hurt someone she cared about. And now that knowledge is just something she’ll have to live with.

I also liked that Chava's apparently going to run a boarding house for outcasts (or that's how I understood it, anyway), with a door open for Dima if she ever decides she doesn't want to be alone anymore. Her and Sophia keeping in touch and wanting to look out for Dima is honestly really sweet.

Oh, another thing I really liked was the theme about storytelling, especially in the hands of children (human and jinn alike), and how stories are living parts of a culture that change with every retelling. There was a specific line somewhere about humans always trying to "attach" ourselves to bigger stories -- sometimes just as a means to bond with one another, and other times for more self-centered reasons (like the characters trying to relate tragedies like Triangle or Titanic back to themselves even when they didn't have any real connection to either) that’s stayed with me ever since I finished the book.

Overall, I really liked The Hidden Palace. Not as much as the first book, but eh, that's usually the case. It was great for a sequel: The character arcs evolved very naturally from where they left off at the first book, and it didn't retread too much on covered ground.

That said, I read through the whole thing in like 24 hours, so I probably missed some finer details and themes. I'm definitely going to reread it once I get through my ILLs and other checkouts.

#mine #sometimes i read things #the hidden palace #the golem and the jinni

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