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chikkou · 4 years ago

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I'd ask this on your Lisa sideblog but you don't have anon on and I'm shy lol, but do you have any headcanons relating to Lisa the First? Like Lisa's views on religion, her relationship with her mother, if any of the various worlds we see mean anything?

hoh man i didnt even know anon wasnt on LMAO... ill turn it on after i post this!

also fuck YEAH i do holy shit i fucking LOVE lisa the first!! i know its sort of the black sheep of the lisa series, since it is a completely different type of game and was clearly austins first game, but i fucking ADORE it dude. the music - which he made ENTIRELY IN THE FREE TRIAL OF FL STUDIO BY THE WAY - is FANTASTIC, the art direction is actually pretty fucking incredible for an rpgmaker game that uses a good deal of basic assets, and the gameplay.... ok yeah that part is a bit lacking but its a yume nikki-style game be nice it was his first time LMAO

ANYWAY back to ur question. first and foremost, i think this is not even a headcanon so much as straight up canon, but lisa DESPISES christianity. marty is christian, probably catholic given the golden crosses everywhere, and he is a fucking scumbag hypocrite. lisa likely associates all of christianity with this line of thinking, as there is one room in the bile area where the melted martys (although i suppose we can just call them joy mutants now LMAO) simply stand in a circle surrounding one big cross. the role of the melted martys is up for interpretation of course, as is everything, but after playing the painful and seeing them described as “mindless sheep,” i think this is how lisa viewed them. so they likely represent other people that, to lisa, are probably just as sick and disgusting as marty

lisas relationship with her mother... i go back and forth on this one a lot. i can never decide if i prefer the headcanon that lisas mom died in childbirth, and so lisa never met her, or if i prefer that lisas mom was around for a very short time and then either left or died. the fact that she says “i didnt want to leave” at the end of the first leads me to believe that she most likely died. in either case, the memory of her mother was clearly important to lisa, as she wears her pendant through the entire game and its explicitly noted as being a gift from her. in either case, i think that the death/absence of the mother is heavily implied to be the primary cause behind martys descent into alcoholism and lisas abuse, since the white room strongly implies that marty did at one time sincerely love and care for her as a father properly should

as for the meaning of each of the rooms, i think most of them are fairly self explanatory, but some of them are a bit more vague, so ill break it down in terms of how i see it (and ill put them under the cut because its long as hell):

martys house - this is the most literal one. pretty self-explanatory. the dark, yet vibrant colors and the ear-bleedingly loud tv are pure sensory overload, something lisa probably deals with on a regular basis. when lisa goes outside and it turns into a sky of marty faces, i think this is the transition into the psychological part of the game

the lobby - this is honestly just pure yume nikki ripoff LMAO... but if i had to ascribe a symbolic meaning to it, i think its probably a quiet and safe area for lisa to retreat to in her mind when she needs it, but even that eventually gets sullied as tricky rick makes his way there, too (and tells her hes “just waiting” when she talks to him). the majority of gameplay is lisa searching for items with which to kill tricky rick, who always abuses and disparages her whenever she talks to him, telling her she’ll never forget. as for the reason why... well, take one look at him and its pretty clear whats going on there. (the name is also a reference to richard nixon, whose nickname was... well, you can figure it out!)

the town - the bar area is 100% my favorite from this world; lisa clearly hates alcohol and anyone who drinks it, associating them all with marty, and that music... all i can say is YUCK. the entire section also consists of lisa having to give up something in exchange for what she needs to move on, and usually getting the raw end of the deal out of it (she gives one marty a banana, he gives her a banana peel in return). she does all that while avoiding a marty following her outside who repeatedly tells her “you cant escape,” and upon reaching tricky rick (who is atop a narrow, columnar, PINK mountain), it becomes pretty clear whats happening to her.

the sea room - fucking marty spiders man. im assuming they represent the sickly feeling of crawling skin she gets when she looks at him or is anywhere near him, but holy GOD they are annoying to deal with. she kills tricky rick with pills here - we dont know what kind of pills these are, but i interpret them as sleeping pills, and given the rumbling music and the rapid cycling marty background, i wonder if he forced her to take these. marty is everywhere here, but the only one she can speak to is seen chilling on a raft of some kind. marty likely spent much of his time recreationally, i.e. drinking, so it makes sense why this would be here

the rope room - theres no symbolism here this is just pure comedy (LMAO). if i HAD to assign some meaning to this area, it would be that lisa likely is so despondent at this point that putting in effort to do anything feels utterly pointless, much like climbing this long-ass rope was

the white room - as i mentioned earlier, i personally believe that this area depicts the previous relationship between marty and lisa (and also has one of my favorite songs in the game). he is shown doing traditional fatherly things - he is no longer wearing sunglasses and is wearing a suit, meaning he was likely employed, and is actually smiling. he also spends time with her in a completely platonic, familial way. when she interacts with him, there is a little heart over his head. after lisa walks through the golden statues (which will reappear later), the entire world becomes filled with bile, and martys appearance returns to that of the other martys, but with an extremely warped, grotesque face. the item she needs in this area to kill tricky rick is found between two golden crosses.

notice that all of the items she kills tricky rick with - a razor, pills, and now a plastic bag - are things that a child could plausibly get their hands on; none of them are explicitly weapons. i think this shows both her age and how often she must have considered using those things against him.

the bile room - probably my favorite area in the game, and also features what i consider the quintessential lisa song. this area really drives home lisas disgust with marty and with christianity as a whole - it almost certainly has the highest concentration of crosses, and it is also quite literally covered in wall-to-wall bile, dirty water, and disgusting houses. a lot of the most graphic sights, like the melting martys and the pond martys (no idea what to call them LMAO) are here, so i think this is pretty much the lowest circle of hell for lisa. marty gives lisa a freshly cut finger in exchange for a napkin here; im not necessarily sure what that represents, but i think the napkin was used by marty to masturbate (as he says “i needed that” after he takes it), so perhaps the finger is martys?

lisa kills tricky rick here in a cave that is not-so-subtly shaped like a penis, and gets a vhs tape in which he pretty explicitly states what is going on in the game; he even pretends like he doesnt know who lisa is at first, which somehow makes it even more disgusting. the fact that vhs tapes play a role here sort of makes me wonder if marty really WAS filming some of what he was doing, and given that lisa the joyful confirms that brad was forced to somehow participate in lisas abuse, that is.... horrific to think about, honestly

the marty tape - this tape just has the player (as marty) walk up to lisa and suited marty, who are having a tea party with a plastic tea set. they both get hearts over their heads if you talk to them. i think this drives home that he and lisa did once have a normal relationship, and perhaps theres some part of marty who misses that? theres a LOT of ways you can interpret this; having the player become marty really calls a lot into question.

the mansion - the room leading here has a marty staring directly at the player who informs lisa that she needs a sword to progress. unsubtly, the sword must be placed into the crotch of a womans statue. the mansion inside is beautiful and ornate, and easily the most gorgeous area in the game - and it all leads to what appears to be a proto-joy mutant marty, sort of looking like jabba the hutt. i dont doubt that this is intentional, given that jabba the hutt is associated with slave leia, and its not at all a far leap to call lisa martys slave. the golden statues of women, as well as many golden crosses, are everywhere in this area. its actually quite a large space with a lot of thought put into it, so im really upset that i cant figure out more of what it represents LMAO

the final area - lisa seems to go back to her actual house, but upon leaving her room and entering whether the living room would be, the whole area changes. she encounters herself in a blood red room, but when she talks to the other lisa, she turns into marty. i think this represents a clear question - who is lisa without him? IS she anyone? or is she just a vessel for him to do with what he pleases? she encounters a naked marty telling her to give up shortly after, and flees from him, but is followed by voices repeatedly telling her that she must accept her fate. i think this clearly show the mental state of lisas last days. she was tormented, eternally. she truly felt there was no escape from marty. even the background becomes nothing but martys face, over and over again, as the end screen flashes.

at the end text, she finds a video tape, and in the tape sees someone who is ostensibly her mother from behind. she apologizes for not being there for her, but when that figure turns out, its martys face that she sees. the sky turns into marty. the music becomes corrupted and overrun with pretty fucked up laughter. she tries to run, but marty is already everywhere. theres nowhere for her to run. and then the game is over.

note that the video tape comes AFTER the games end screen, which stops not long after the appearance of the naked marty. so i personally believe that the “game over” represents her deciding to take her own life, rather than just give up and accept her fate. by running from him into the blackness, she got away from marty the only way she could have. it is sad and horrible, but that is honestly the best ending that she could have gotten in this game.

the first is definitely not as good as the painful in terms of gameplay, that much i can agree on, but i really think people miss out on a lot by not playing it. i think its really crucial to see lisas life from her own perspective before you can see it from brads - after all, brad may have known more than anyone else about what was going on, but he did not experience it like lisa did. for brad, lisa is a symbol of his own regrets and failures, but lisa was a PERSON (well, in-universe anyway LMAO). she suffered on her own, with pretty much no one to help her, and then she suffered so much that she couldnt take another second of it.

#anya's anons #long post #lisa the first #ok NOW im gonna open my anons on my sideblog LMAO #i got wayyyy too into this #and i had to put it under the cut bc its really hard to not be graphic about the first given the subject matter #rape mention #abuse mention #lisa

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ohailyn · 6 years ago

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❝ Half of me, for growth; the other, for decay. ❞ ANTOINETTE ROBERTSON? No, that’s actually AILYN WILKES. A SEVENTH YEAR student, this SLYTHERIN student is sided with THE NEUTRALS. SHE/HER identifies as A CIS WOMAN and is a PUREBLOOD who is known to be INDIFFERENT, HAUGHTY, and SECRETIVE but also ADAPTABLE, INTELLECTUAL, and AMBITIOUS.

LINKS: stats, pinboard, character tag. CHARACTER PARALLELS: elle woods (legally blonde), cersei lannister (asoiaf), michaela pratt (how to get away with murder), sun bak (sense8) HELLO this is my babe ailyn, a pink mess of iconicness and confusing morals!!! just a heads up that this intro will contain mentions of abuse (spousal and child) and alcoholism

history

ailyn’s youth was filled with lies. her parents were skilled liars, pretenders, people who bended the truth because the truth was something nasty. her father said his business was booming, while unpaid bills kept piling up, and he kept reassuring them with alcohol on his breath and an unshaved face, that nothing was wrong, that he was fixing it all. when ailyn turned ten, he had gone bankrupt and visited the pub every day, rather than his job, and when his mother kissed him on the cheek every morning and told her kids that she loved him, she was lying, too. she smelled of others when she came home, and she was having not one, but two affairs.

and so ailyn learned that truth is a relative thing, something to bend to your own will. she learned it from her parents and continued it when she went to hogwarts, where she spoke of her father’s wonderful business and her parents happy marriage as if it was nothing but truth. she learned off their secrets before she left (and they weren’t that hard to figure out, in all truth, if you looked well — all it took was following her dad to work one day and bursting in her mother’s bedroom out of nowhere) and kept them, but added in some aspects of her own. lies became ailyn’s language at hogwarts, and she fed them to those around her with smiles.

besides, her family was doing a good fucking job at keeping the truth quiet: her maternal grandparents supplied enough money for them to continue living in their home, to afford the bare necessities, to make sure that ailyn and her brother would not show up at hogwarts looking like the poor kids they were without their grandparents. gotta love that classicism! :)

born into a family with a history of supporting voldemort, ailyn was raised with purist beliefs. her paternal grandfather died in the crossfire of the first wizarding war and his legacy runs through the veins of her father. her father, who committed purist crimes in order to steal money or things of worth, even after voldemort’s end, her father, who told her how his father was supposed to still be alive and ream the rewards of his hard work, who clung to purist ideals so desperately, that it seemed to be the only thing to keep him afloat. she believed them, for a long time, as they gave her a chance to put herself on a pedestal, and she craved that, when she was younger.

she has shed them at this point, though she doesn’t bother to speak out against it. it’s just that she’s not a very good witch – she’s smart, don’t get me wrong, incredibly intelligent, but simply not good at waving wands and muttering spells – which has put things in perspective a little. being into history and being a realist in her core has also made ailyn look at the topic of blood purity more seriously, and once she was able to think more critically and was no longer constantly surrounded by her parents, she understood how stupid purism is. it’s just illogical, based on #fakefacts and a wish to be better for no other reason than a surname ( i literally talk about this again later on so LMAO )

her younger brother does however stick with blood purity, looks up to his father, is disillusioned and blind and excited and a child, still, but a cruel one in the making. ailyn fears for him. worries about him. tries to guide him but sees no effects.

anyway, her father joined the death eaters, despite him being a bit of an … embarrassment. he used his power as a death eater to steal money and get some of that money that they’d lost because of him, not bettering his reputation among other death eaters, but regaining some of his pride as he relied less on his parents in law for money. ( though, in honesty, most of the money he stole was blown on alcohol, new suits and gambling )

[ abuse, alcoholism tw ailyn’s dad was furious at his wife, at the world, at himself. he hated that he relied on his parents-in-law for money, hated that it was his fault, hated that his wife was fucking everyone but him. he drank too much, lashed out at his wife when intoxicated, both verbally and physically. his anger turned to his kids at times, too, but was mostly aimed at his wife. ailyn despises him. deeply. end of tw’s ]

going to hogwarts was good. ailyn got to get away from home, and surround herself with others, with people who came from different places, who weren’t stuck in purist beliefs. ailyn was sorted into slytherin, for her cunning and ambition. a booksmart kid, she found herself more interested in the library and all it offered than what her classes tried to teach her. besides, ailyn found out pretty soon that she was rather bad at practical magic; she was soon behind in charms, transfiguration and DADA. she wondered if something was wrong with her wand, for a moment, wondered what was causing her to perform so poorly.

it was during these realisations, during her time away from home, that she started to step away from the purist idealisation she’d been raised with. she’d never subscribed to them much, to start with, but she hadn’t distanced herself from them, either. being away from home, surrounding herself with muggleborns, halfbloods and ‘blood traitors’, as well as her whole journey with … being rather shit at magic made her realise how fucking stupid it was

doesn’t fully share her feelings at all times, though, out of self preservation. besides, she’s not out here to fight for muggleborn rights either — she thinks the war is bullshit, frankly, but she’s also self serving as fuck, and will not do anything to endanger herself. she’s very true neutral, in that sense? can fairly judge situations, but is good at sitting back even if she disapproves. will start debates on blood purity, but isnt about to fight a war over it, on either side.

history soon became her favourite subject. ailyn found herself staying up late in the common room, learning about muggle history, but also delving into obscure parts of magical history, wanting to know more more more about the ways humans changed the course of the world, how cruel and kind people could be all at once. she’s very intrigued by what drives people, which is ironic, as not much drives ailyn morally LMAO.

this is where her ambition lies, where her strengths lie. ailyn wants to work under a historian, learn about how to write about history – because it’s happening all around her – how to interpret it, how to connect the dots. she’d love to intern under bathilda bagshot, or someone similar. she’s such a NERD.

her relationship with her family has become strained. ailyn hates her father, and despises her mother. her brother is a different story — there’s more love there, i suppose, a healthy relationship, but they disagree on many things. he wants to join the ranks of the death eaters once he’s old enough, whereas she’s been lucky enough not to be considered due to her lack of skill (in the eyes of both her father and the death eaters in general) and is glad of it.

ailyn is cordial with her family. she doesn’t want to deal with the consequences of turning her back on them but also doesnt want to participate in the large amount of lies that already surround their family. she’s not in the mood to be labeled a blood traitor or anything. she may not believe in purism but she’s not a good person --- she’s indifferent and apathetic and cares about herself and a handful of people, and so she will keep her opinions carefully locked up while making the world her own.

she mostly just wants to graduate, start studying to become a historian and move the fuck away lmao. a new start, with new chances and a whole new world for her to conquer. she’s Tired tm of the death eaters, as theyre just a product of another white man’s idiocy, like so many negative things in the world --- she’s got no energy for it.

personality and tidbits

ailyn is a true neutral, powder pink lipstick lesbian who will drag your ass through the mud while speaking to you sweetly with a :) smile :). she has a mean streak and her nature isnt necessarily malicious but she can be when she chooses to. this streak most often shows itself in front of people that ailyn thinks lesser of/people that annoy her. there’s a lot of those

she’s just ... tired. tired of humanity and all the people around her and the ruckus theyre causing. ailyn just wants people to Chill Out and use their heads in stead of whatever’s motivating them ( their genitals, hearts, stomachs, whatever ). she feels very ... Genius LMAO because she’s such a realist and she thinks she has the world all figured out when, obviously, she doesnt.

ailyn is very sure of herself, incredibly confident --- sometimes too confident ( though she’s of the opinion that girls can never be to confident ) and in turn she can be condescending and haughty. she’s self aware, though, about most things. she knows where her strengths and weaknesses lie and has made peace with it, even knows that she’s arrogant and harsh, but doesn’t care much.

a gamp on her mother’s side and cousin to gemma!

ailyn is hyperfeminine, believes in lethal femininity and the colour pink. very much elle woods in that sense --- she loves fashion and make up and velvet high heels and looking good, but has a ready mind that she’ll apply to reach her goals at any given moment in time. will Not be underestimated because she’s girly. a firm believer in the matriarchy. lover of womanhood.

she also ... just thinks lowly of men a lot. like --- her dad’s a deadbeat idiot alcoholic broke dude and he Sucks, and then there’s people like grindelwald and voldemort and a long string of ministers, prime ministers and presidents that just proof that men shouldnt be in power to her LMAO. her interest in history is mostly just ailyn sighing at the deeds of men and how they continue to disappoint her.

would love to enter the ministry one day and be a politician, but for now her focus lies on becoming a historian, as that seems like a logical first step. also, the ministry is a mess at the moment that ailyn doesnt want to be a part of LMSFKJHSD.

loyal to first and foremost herself, a true self-serving queen. though, if she is your friend, you do have a loyal person on your side who will be ride or die. will kill for you. will bury a body with you.

absolutely adores mythology especially because most stories prove that men ain’t shit and because there’s iconic characters like medusa and athena and persephone and many more

medusa is ... in general a character that ailyn very much loves and is intrigued by --- a hurt woman, mistreated and abuse because of her gender and nothing more, turned into someone who could protect herself, only to be labeled a monster and murdered ... she’s endlessly angry and intrigued.

captain of the history club!! she loves history sm :( come geek out w her

also a member of the debate club!! while she shies away from speaking on purism, she does have a lot of vocal opinions on sexism/queerphobia/racism/etc and is very knowledgeable on political topics!!!

always tired of everyone and everything

loves rose & vodka.

#iidyintro #DONE w the reposts now yeet

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princepriestandpirate · 7 years ago

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Character Solidifying for Rowan!

god this is so fucking late forgive me, but anyway here u go! answers under the cut

1. How does your character think of their father? What do they hate and love about him? What influence - literal or imagined - did the father have?

oh he loved his dad, and he thinks of him with a lot of love and respect. really, the only thing about his father that was not so great was the amount of time that he spent working, and both rowan and em wished that he had more time to spend with them. at the same time though, if rowan or emilia sought their dad out he’d always try to spend time with them. he was a good guy, and rowan wants to be someone who would make his dad proud & honor his legacy.

2. Their mother? How do they think of her? What do they hate? Love? What influence - literal or imagined - did the mother have?

his relationship w/ his mother is more complicated, mostly because she died when rowan was very young (she died in childbirth giving birth to emilia, so rowan would have been about 3) so rowan doesn’t remember her well. he maybe thinks of her with a bit of longing, but that’s more about the idea of a mother rather than the woman herself.

3. Brothers, sisters? Who do they like? Why? What do they despise about their siblings?

he has one younger sister, Emilia (3 years younger). he loves his little sister a lot, partially because he was always very attached to the role of being a “big brother” and partially because he and emilia were probably each other’s only playmates as kids? they probably fought sometimes, like siblings do, especially since em always had a lot more energy and rowan just wanted to be left alone sometimes, but at the end of the day she’s one of the most important people to him. he’s very proud of her, even if she is a terrorist probably?

4. What type of discipline was your character subjected to at home? Strict? Lenient?

it wasn’t very strict at all but i also think he was a pretty good kid who didn’t get into trouble all that often

5. Were they overprotected as a child? Sheltered?

physically yes, mentally not as much? he and em had their own personal guards, and rowan was accompanied by a group of guards + marcus after his family was attacked, so physically he was never in much danger. on the other hand, his father believed in being honest w/ the kids and not trying to hide all the stuff that was going on in the outside world, and after rowan started traveling w/ marcus they didn’t keep their plans from him and let him be involved (probably because rowan would be even more upset if he didn’t know what was going on)

6. Did they feel rejection or affection as a child?

all affection. one thing that can be said for his tragic backstory™ is that at least he was always surrounded by people who loved and cared for him

7. What was the economic status of their family?

very rich, they were nobility

8. How does your character feel about religion?

he wasn’t raised in any religion so he has no attachment to any specific religious beliefs, but he believes that gods exist and it’s probably a good idea to stay on their good side (although this is changing a bit now that he’s met a bunch of gods and some of them are dicks *cough* aengus *cough*)

in modern day he’d probably be considered vaguely agnostic

9. What about political beliefs?

very anti-new initiative and pro-hoth (obv). on a more theoretical level, he believes that there should be a government to unify, organize, and protect the people, but it shouldn’t run into totalitarianism and should have input from the people it governs.

10. Is your character street-smart, book-smart, intelligent, intellectual, slow-witted?

as a kid, very book smart, which would have continued if it wasn’t for the attack on his home. he ended up having to abandon his studies to some extent and focus much more on practical skills, so he has a good amount of street smarts as well now, although they mostly focus on his ability to move unnoticed and gather information.

11. How do they see themselves: as smart, as intelligent, uneducated?

he sees himself as fairly smart, but not super well-educated (or at least not as well educated as he’d like to be), since he’s self-taught on a lot of stuff and doesnt have a full formal education

12. How does their education and intelligence – or lack thereof - reflect in their speech pattern, vocabulary, and pronunciations?

i think the fact that he was well educated as a kid but had to quickly adapt to life on the road (w/ a bunch of guards no less) is reflected in his speech, as he goes back and forth between a more formal speaking style and more casual speech in his day to day conversations. he can switch back into more formal/well-educated speech if he needs to (see: when pretending to be a noble) but it’s not very natural for him.

13. Did they like school? Teachers? Schoolmates?

he loved it! he’s a fucking nerd and he loves to learn, so much that he kept up his studies even after he lacked a formal schooling environment. he also really like his teacher ms. alduri, even if she was strict sometimes. he didn’t have schoolmates though, he was basically homeschooled and his sister was younger than him and interested in different subjects anyway.

14. Were they involved at school? Sports? Clubs? Debate? Were they unconnected?

those didn’t really exist, he had private tutors

15. Did they graduate? High-School? College? Do they have a PHD? A GED?

he stopped his formal education at age nine

16. What does your character do for a living? How do they see their profession? What do they like about it? Dislike?

he’s a spy, basically. he doesn’t really see it as a matter of liking or not liking his work, but instead the work that he does is a matter of necessity. he’s doing this work because it’ll help him achieve his ultimate goals (bringing down new initiative/bringing back hoth) and because he has a deep loyalty to the resistance for all the help and protection they’ve given him. he likes that he’s doing useful work, and he likes seeing new places.

17. Did they travel? Where? Why? When?

all the time since he was nine. they never stopped in one place for more than a month, mostly around khajjitan (sp?) and then when he started helping out the resistance, in the desert as well, although recently he’s been traveling farther north. he travels because if he stays in one place too long he might be found by people who may potentially want to kill him, and because his job requires it.

18. What did they find abroad, and what did they remember?

this is kind of a weird question to answer, because at this point his “being abroad” encompasses… over half his life? but i would say he found his godfather, his favorite weapon, his best friend, and a lot of new skills. he remembers a lot of moving around and never really making friends or relationships that lasted, and seas of grass, and later seas of sand that go on for days. and he of course remembers marcus sticking by him and taking care of him.

19. What were your character’s deepest disillusions? In life? What are they now?

right after his home was attacked i think he realized, moreso than he ever had before, that the world was a mean and dangerous place and that he wasn’t safe, and that no one really was. i think it’s still probably something close to that, that you can’t really trust anybody but yourself and a few others.

20. What were the most deeply impressive political or social, national or international, events that they experienced?

oh boy. well, when he was very young he was in the area when the capital of hoth collapsed, and he was also present for the attack on his home where the last king of hoth was assassinated. later on, he was in the capital of khajjitan when the high councilor was killed in an attack on the city and he participated in fighting off invaders. he was also present when that one building blew up in the fishing villages. a lot of shit has happened tbh.

21. What are your character’s manners like? What is their type of hero? Whom do they hate?

he’s pretty polite to strangers, kind of a snarky shit to people he knows better. i don’t think he’s particularly taken with the ideas of heroes, but he would model his image of a hero off of his father or marcus, very kind men who always put others before themselves.

he hates a good portion of jashtall’s government. he also tends not to like people he perceives as untrustworthy which is… ironic

22. Who are their friends? Lovers? ‘Type’ or ‘ideal’ partner?

lumley + the people on his team, although to varying degrees (he probably puts lumley, maybe peitho and honeyclaw in the friend category, while he views mies and ko as coworkers, although he’s starting to get closer to mies). he doesn’t really have a lot of friends otherwise since he didn’t grow up around a lot of people his age. he also doesn’t really have ‘lovers,’ unless you count a couple one-off flings from when he was traveling by himself or his current thing with quinn.

as for ‘type’, i dont think he pursues romantic stuff often but he tends to go after people who are a bit more outgoing than him that he can have a good conversation with/match intellectually (that he can nerd out with basically). i think he also tends to go for people who are taller than him? i think that’s a thing

(i’ve also definitely decided that his taste in girls is “girls that are definitely way cooler than him” but i havent figured out his taste in guys yet, more info to come)

23. What do they want from a partner? What do they think and feel of sex?

he wants (or at least definitely needs) someone who is stable and can sort of ground him emotionally, and someone he can trust completely.

as for sex it’s…weird? because i think sex is something he wants/enjoys but he has a lot of hang-ups wrapped up in his issues with trusting others and being open with them. so he finds the experience of having to be very intimate physically or emotionally very uncomfortable and it makes sex kind of an awkward topic

24. What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually?

almost none, he doesn’t interact w/ a lot of people outside of missions. when he is around people he either likes to fade into the background unless he’s put in a specific role he’s supposed to fulfill. in reality he likes to be in control of the situation and know what’s going.

25. What are their hobbies and interests?

he loves magic! so much that he studied it even after his formal schooling got cut short. he also loves history and reads non-fiction books whenever he gets the chance. and in his spare time he enjoys playing cards (which some of the guards he traveled with taught him). it’s how he developed a good poker face.

26. What does your character’s home look like? Personal taste? Clothing? Hair? Appearance?

what home lol

as for personal taste though, he tends to go for darker/duller colors that don’t stick out too much (he likes to wear shades of blue and brown especially). he likes comfortable and inconspicuous clothes, and goes for simplicity over complicated outfits, altho he’s a fan of layers. his head is shaved, but when it grows out he has dark curly hair.

27. How do they relate to their appearance? How do they wear their clothing? Style? Quality?

he cares a lot about his appearance but more in the sense of being very careful of what kind of image he’s projecting. he doesn’t want to stick out too much, and is careful to dress in a way that will make him blend in to whatever circumstance he needs to. unless he’s wearing the very fancy clothing he obtained recently so he could dress as a noble (a situation which is very weird and new, he hasn’t dressed up like this since he was little), he tends to go for comfortable, modest clothing that he can move around in easily, usually involving layers and some way to hide his face. nothing ridiculously high quality, but he likes clothes that will last him a while.

28. Who is your character’s mate? How do they relate to him or her? How did they make their choice?

he’s not really with anyone atm, all of his recent romantic encounters have been born almost exclusively out of him trying to get info out of people

29. What is your character’s weaknesses? Hubris? Pride? Controlling?

depends on the situation and who you ask. in relationships, his tendency towards thinking of relationships strategically and hella trust issues/lying. in his job, has a soft squishy center that can lead to him getting attached, although on the other hand he also has a bad tendency towards very black and white thinking, putting a lot of emotional weight on ppl he trusts and kinda disregarding anyone who falls into an enemy category. it’s complicated.

30. Are they holding on to something in the past? Can he or she forgive?

oh boy is he! he’s holding onto his father’s death and his sister’s disappearance, and it’s not something that he’s going to be able to forgive, ever i think. it fucked up his life too much for true forgiveness to ever really be an option.

31. Does your character have children? How do they feel about their parental role? About the children? How do the children relate?

he doesn’t have kids, although he’d like to be a dad one day

32. How does your character react to stress situations? Defensively? Aggressively? Evasively?

usually evasively, if something is wrong or he doesnt want to deal with a situation his first instinct is to run or evade.

33. Do they drink? Take drugs? What about their health?

he drinks occasionally but not often, since he doesn’t like the “lowered inhibitions” part of it that much

34. Does your character feel self-righteous? Revengeful? Contemptuous?

very revengeful and somewhat righteous towards jashtall. they killed his family and destroyed his country and his life, he’s not happy.

35. Do they always rationalize errors? How do they accept disasters and failures?

he puts a lot of pressure onto himself to live up to the roles placed onto him, so when things go wrong he tends to think of it as his fault and freak out a bit, usually trying to atone for whatever happened.

36. Do they like to suffer? Like to see other people suffering?

no, but he’ll endure a lot if he thinks its for a good reason or cause. and he doesnt like to see people suffer but there are some enemies he won’t be afraid to be ruthless against.

37. How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories?

he’s not a big daydreamer, tends to be more focused on the moment and how he’s going to approach the future. he tends more towards the latter two, worrying quite a bit but tbh his situation calls for a good bit of that, and when he’s alone he prefers to revisit old (good) memories rather than daydream.

38. Are they basically negative when facing new things? Suspicious? Hostile? Scared? Enthusiastic?

almost always very suspicious, even of things that seem relatively innocuous. he’s not very trusting and usually assumes others are out to get him or could lead to him being found out unless he has reason to believe otherwise.

39. What do they like to ridicule? What do they find stupid?

he doesn’t (outwardly) ridicule others a lot i don’t think (unless they did something really dumb), but internally he thinks people who automatically trust others are dumb, as well as people who don’t think before they act.

40. How is their sense of humor? Do they have one?

he doesn’t have much of a sense of humor. he can laugh at other people’s jokes but is very bad at making them himself. he likes wordplay and puns though.

41. Is your character aware of who they are? Strengths? Weaknesses? Idiosyncrasies? Capable of self-irony?

he’s aware of his own strengths and weaknesses on a physical level, he knows what skills he has and how he can be most useful, but he’s not super self aware internally. he’s not very introspective and probably isn’t aware of how emotional he is.

42. What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain?

right now, he wants his sister back, he wants jashtall in pieces, he wants to build his home again. he’ll sacrifice a lot of work and pain and hardship for that.

43. Does your character have any secrets? If so, are they holding them back?

oh boy does he lol. mostly the “secretly the prince of hoth” thing, along with the “currently a spy” thing, along with the several fake identities he’s using at the moment. he hold these things back from most people, but he’s becoming more open now that he has more people that he can rely on. he won’t give most of this info up unless it’s necessary to do so though.

44. How badly do they want to obtain their life objectives? How do they pursue them?

very badly, but his responsibilities come first– it’s a rare occasion that he drops everything to go do whatever he wants. he generally tries to obtain his goals through planning and slow/deliberate action, utilizing help available to him rather than just pursuing things on his own.

45. Is your character pragmatic? Think first? Responsible? All action? A visionary? Passionate? Quixotic?

very pragmatic, much of which is learned– constantly moving and running away lends itself to making one very pragmatic about their actions, which even extends to how rowan uses magic, mostly picking up charms and illusions because they tend to be the most useful, even if they’re not what he’d prefer. he’s not very impulsive and much prefers to clearly plan things out before acting. “responsible” is also a key character trait of his, he’s very committed to the responsibilities given to him or the responsibilities that come with any role he has (whether as a brother, a prince, a leader, etc.)

46. Is your character tall? Short? What about size? Weight? Posture? How do they feel about their physical body?

height-wise he’s very average (he’s 5′9″). i don’t know his weight but he errs on the leaner side, although he does have muscles (his build is somewhat akin to a dancer’s build, where he has muscles but they’re mostly focused on being able to move quickly and efficiently rather than pure strength). he has very good posture. i don’t think he has any problems with his body, but he’s also pretty modest and doesn’t really want to show it off at all.

47. Do they want to project an image of a younger, older, more important person? Does they want to be visible or invisible?

he wants to come off as older and more secure and in-control than he is. whether he wants to be viewed as important/visible/invisible changes depending on the situation. if he’s pretending to be someone important then he wants to project that, but otherwise he feels very uncomfortable being looked at and noticed and would much prefer to blend into the crowd.

48. How are your character’s gestures? Vigorous? Weak? Controlled? Compulsive? Energetic? Sluggish?

very controlled and deliberate.

49. What about voice? Pitch? Strength? Tempo and rhythm of speech? Pronunciation? Accent?

his voice is... tenorish maybe? idk, not terribly low but not super high either. he doesn’t have a very loud voice but knows how to speak authoritatively, and he tends to speak a bit more slowly and deliberately.

in regards to pronunciation & accent (and also vocabulary), i think it’s somewhat apparent in his normal speech that he goes back and forth between a more “proper” and “educated” style of speech that he spoke growing up as nobility (which also would probably come with a hothean accent, whatever that is in this world), and a more casual style of speech that he picked up from years on the road (he also pronounces some words with a kajjitani accent/pronunciation), he can fall back into the more “noble” style if the situation calls for it, but his normal speaking style goes back and forth between the two.

50. What are the prevailing facial expressions? Sour? Cheerful? Dominating?

his main facial expression is a serious one, trying to seem impassive but definitely kind of “on” at all times. if he shows his emotions his expressions tend to be kind of grumpy, although he can put up a front and appear very polite and amiable if he wants (although he finds it very draining to do so).

#yourladybrie #rowan

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