#literally the worst fucking weekend of my life rn

[zip-toonz]

Laptop screen busted

[jikigo]

you ever just see a post and just

. 😭

.⬅️🫀⬅️

[hella1975]

why is there a twenty marker analysing empirical evidence of game theory on this saturday exam

[astonmartinii]

hii, can i request an insta au for lando? i don’t have something particular in mind, bit maybe best friends to lovers kinda thing? and their friends teasing them/ being annoyed? <33 love your work!!

best friends 4 ever | lando norris social media au

pairing: lando norris x bff!reader

best friends? lovers? who knows?

yourusername

liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell and 320,879 others

yourusername: clubbing on a budget 🍒

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user1: where's lando?

user2: yet another post without lando, have they broken up?

user3: how can they be broken up if they aren't together?

user4: why do you people think lando and y/n doing things separately is illegal?

user5: why weren't you at the race?

yourusername: babes i'm just a bartender i do not have the schedule or the finances to just fuck off to saudi arabia for three days sorry xx

user5: you clearly had the weekend off?

yourusername: please refer to my previous statement on my financial standing

yourbff1: who is that stunning woman?

yourusername: u bestie

landonorris: glad you went with outfit choice number one

yourusername: thank you miranda priestly

oscarpiastri: so that's who i could hear you talking to...

yourusername: clubbing outfits are a serious business oscar

oscarpiastri: serious enough for a three hour call?

yourusername: YES.

landonorris: YES.

landonorris

liked by yourusername, maxverstappen1 and 902,894 others

landonorris: mood before the race v after the race, see you next year jeddah 🇸🇦

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user6: what driving a tractor does to a motherfucker

yourusername: what's a performance where a man is having the worst time of his life but looks sexy doing it?

landonorris: beauty is pain

yourusername: then you must be suffering

user7: mr and miss we're not dating flirting up a storm in the comments as per

carlossainz55: maybe focus less on modelling and more on driving

yourusername: so no more ferrari thirst traps?

carlossainz55: damn i forgot that coming for lando means dealing with you

yourusername: meet me in the parking lot chilli

landonorris: y/n is like my little chihuahua so come for me, watch your ankles

user8: do they think we're dumb?

danielricciardo: ah the classic post mclaren snooze, if only you had your cuddle buddy

landonorris: i know you miss me mate but i'll cuddle you in melbourne

danielricciardo: ok. not what i meant. but i'll take the free cuddles

user9: so he was defo referring to y/n, right?

daniel3.jpeg

liked by landonorris, yourusername and 708,655 others

tagged: yourusername, landonorris, heidiberger

daniel3.jpeg: any wagon need a third wheel, i'm practically a professional now?

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user12: confirmation? this is confirmation, right? RIGHT?

yourusername: i gave you that banjo in good faith daniel and this is how you repay me?

daniel3.jpeg: i appreciate her !!!! thank you for my lessons, but these are cute so i will not be deleting sorry not sorry

yourusername: ur right we are serving

user13: life is just not fair

user14: official cause of death: the third slide

landonorris: how relegated to just an arm, i see how it is daniel

yourusername: you are literally the definition of pookie bear and cutieful in the first pic

landonorris: i'm going to need you to never say those words ever again

yourusername: that's not what you said last night ...

landonorris: you're right i am pookie bear

user15: actual pics + comments = y'all can no longer say i'm being delusional.

f1wagsupdates

liked by user16, user17 and 3,240 others

tagged: landonorris

f1wagsupdates: lando norris spotted on his boat in monaco with an unknown woman. the pair looked flirty and spent the whole day together alone on the boat. norris' rumoured girlfriend y/n y/ln was back in the u.k. where she works as a bar tender. what do you think?

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user18: i'm so confused rn

user19: i know we never had concrete confirmation but my heart is broken for y/n right now

user20: i don't want to jump to any conclusions, men and women can be friends, there's nothing in these photos that suggest anything more than friendship

user21: they're literally holding hands in the second pic

user20: i hold my friends hands every time i jump in the water doesn't mean i'm with them

user22: but the pic in danny's post .... i don't even know anymore

yourusername

liked by pierregasly, landonorris and 356,823 others

yourusername: food will never leave me

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user25: so like is this a dig after those pics of lando and the random girl?

user26: i know this is sad and all, but that kebab looks banging please tell us where you got it

yourusername: camden market babes

yourbff1: sexy girl, sexy food and sexy photography

yourusername: best photographer i know

user27: SHADE LANDP.JPEG YOU WERE NEVER THAT GIRL

landonorris: camden kebabs without me? offended.

yourusername: doing a lot of things without each other recently.

maxfewtrell: could've at least invited me i love that place

user28: oof. i feel like i shouldn't be watching this

lando.jpeg

liked by danielricciardo, yourusername and 1,305,066 others

tagged: yourusername

lando.jpeg: appreciation post for my bestest friend forever and the love of my life. i didn't want to give any attention to the rumours going around so i thought i'd just let you know i'm in love, i've been in love for years and will be in love with her for the rest of my life.

view all comments

user29: okay, now the confirmation is here, idk what to do with myself

user30: i survived the y/n x lando slow burn

yourusername: i love you too bob

lando.jpeg: i love you more, can't wait to see you

yourusername: i'm never letting you leave again

user31: so like you're gonna deny being all up close and personal with a random girl on the boat

landonorris: not that i owe you people anything, that girl is my cousin, she was visiting monaco and i showed her around. but it shouldn't matter, you guys don't know me personally and stop assuming things about athletes' personal lives.

yourusername: what he said.

carlossainz55: FINALLY

danielricciardo: i literally don't know how much longer i could've kept this a secret

oscarpiastri: i think we deserve a reward

charles_leclerc: i second this

maxverstappen1: i third this

maxfewtrell: i fourth this

yourusername: alright, alright we get it

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 607,845 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername: i guess we owe our parents £50 xx

view all comments

user32: bro this shit has me straight up crying THIS AINT EVEN MY RELATIONSHIP

oscarpiastri: you guys are cute i'll give you that

yourusername: teammate stamp of approval get it @landonorris

oscarpiastri: i think you guys got that after i walked in on you after silverstone

landonorris: our bad lol

user33: this reads like a fanfic but they're so cute

maxverstappen1: awww lando was so cute in that first pic, what went wrong?

yourusername: u and kelly look like siblings, don't come for us

maxverstappen1: u got it

landonorris: i love you fairy princess

yourusername: i love you racer boy

note: enjoyyyyyyyyyyyy. i originally wrote this a while back but it deleted itself when my laptop had a meltdown. so this is a bit diff but i hope you like it anyway !! xx

[skinimini80]

Guys I think I’m gonna stop weighing myself for a bit.

I’m just gonna focus on my 1000 cal budget again for a while. It’s nice and simple.

I just can’t purge rn. It’s a waste of my medication. I can’t afford to waste it. Cals in cals out always works. So long as I’m diligent with my calorie counting, I’ll know if I’m doing well.

Plus this water weight is kicking my ass mentally. I know I’ve gained some real weight too, but I can see the puffiness in my face and hands and stuff.

Also I’m gonna incorporate more activity into my life again. Staying busy helps me mentally. It’s a lot easier to focus on hobbies when I’m as well fed as I am rn, so I’m really trying to branch out today and do things that are fun. Soon I’ll have school again and when I do I’m gonna reach that end of the day “I deserve some joy let me b/p or eat ‘normally’” but I hate the way I feel for the rest of the night.

Also l’m bringing back the cal bank. My limit is 1000 per day so really it’s 7000 per week. I can save up for the weekend or just try to enjoy each day at 1000. Either way, it’s a simple rule that helps me sometimes.

I might omad today, idk. I’m not hungry yet as I overate yesterday. I wanted to purge so bad because it hurt but I didn’t! I couldn’t waste my medication! Instead I took a nap to get through the worst of it, woke up and got some groceries while I was still too full to want to touch them, and took a nice shower. I just kept drinking water throughout all of this and come today I’m not hungry but I’m not stuffed! I’m more or less satiated. I did estimate cals because I ate some takeout. I knew exactly how much alcohol I drank, and I knew exactly the cals in some food I ate at home but the takeout makes it difficult to know.

Anyways I ate like 2700 ish cals. Let me remind you I do need more cals to heal rn, but since I’ve been overeating every day I’m switching back to restriction. If my body needs the cals it can snatch them from my fat fucking arms. I’m already being so good with not purging. I only failed once since getting these meds (literally on day 2 of the 10 day course lol). I haven’t allowed that to stop me from doing better.

So basically I don’t know my maintenance rn. It’s usually around 1600-1750 when I’m doing the bare minimum of walking to get from point a to point b. So my 1000 cal budget is safe.

Despite the fact that I’ve eaten a lot this week, I’m just gonna have today be a fresh start. Like I said, I do need extra cals rn. I’ve eaten them. I‘m set. So I have 3000 cals left for the week. I’m not at all hungry right now even though it’s almost 1:30 p.m. I have a package I ordered that’s supposed to come in tonight, so I’m excited about that (I like never treat myself to online shopping).

Here’s to my next honeymoon phase (I’ll actually drink to it later tonight before my omad if I even eat at all).

Also i know alcohol hinders healing, but I’m in a lot of pain rn and deserve a little fucking joy. Plus it helps me Slow down and really enjoy my food. Eating sober just isn’t that fun anymore.

[raideo]

Issey drama anon here, please tell us about Romance Doll because I have not heard anything about it

also, have you heard of Quartet? I've seen like 50 gifsets from it and it seems legit funny as hell

UMMM WELL- I'll put my thoughts on Romance Doll under a break at the end because the movie is pretty nsfw and weird and yeah...

Quartet is on my list! I'm definitely going to watch it at some point, but I also really wanna watch Miracles! Honestly that one has been the most interesting to me from the beginning but my adhd is just causing me to watch whatever's convenient first, not the ONE IVE REALLY WANTED TO WATCH THIS WHOLE TIME. I still have to finish Koisenu Futari too... I stopped that one cuz I was watching it with someone and we had a long period of time where we couldn't watch it. And then also it's just VERY HEAVY as a person who happens to be demi who has gone through periods of feeling like I could be aroace in the past. It's so realistic and deals with the painful things as well as the funny things and I am scared to finish it bc I KNOW THERES MORE HEAVY SHIT TO COME but it's an amazing show AND I DO WANT TO FINISH THAT ONE TOO.

And on a completely polar opposite note: ROMANCE DOLL, LMAO

Ok so, this movie is very much one of those WEIRDLY REALISTIC stories where all the characters are so real and flawed and HUGE MISTAKES ARE MADE by characters and it's just such a wild ride. You probably haven't heard about it because its FUCKING WACK.

Without giving too much away in case you wanna watch it (netflix dropped it last monday, which is actually why I ended up watching it over the weekend at all, but it's still available to rent on amazon 🙄) Issey plays Tetsuo, an unemployed art college grad who is desperate for a job. His friend gave him a tip about this sketchy job opening but told him literally nothing else about it. He shows up and this old woman greets him and shows him around and he's a bit shocked to find out it's a shop that makes SILICONE SEX DOLLS. The woman is like "your friend didn't tell you that???" And Tetsuo was like "he literally just said there was a job here-" and she laughs and says "Some friend he is then!" Honestly I loved the old lady she's great, I wish I could remember her name I'm too lazy to go look it up rn.

Anyway so yeah, he takes the job even though the interview was super awkward and there's this gross pervy old guy who works there and he doesn't really care about the subject matter he just needs money (mood)

One thing and another happens (and a lot of me wanting to slap the old man into next tuesday, seriously he's the worst) and a little bit later Tetsuo meets the love of his life through some bullshit connection to his job, and they end up getting married some time after, but she doesn't know what he does for a living and ITS ALL VERY HARD TO EXPLAIN WHY HE KEEPS THAT FROM HER without spoiling things but just- the movie is wack, I really didn't like it in the beginning but it pulls a complete 180 and ends up being this weirdly emotional and AT TIMES, a holesome wholesome slice of life movie??

Don't get me wrong it doesn't sugarcoat things like objectification of women and there's some degree of realistic portrayal of that bc of the whole Tetsuo working at a sex doll shop thing, it is very true to life- how men can be gross even if they aren't going so far as assaulting anyone. It doesn't excuse it either it just presents it as it is, which is good I think. But then there are OTHER moments where the movie is very sex positive- so its a wild fucking trip tbh. Definitely don't watch it if you have sensitivities to the things I mentioned above bc bro omg the first half almost had me like "yeah I can't watch this" a couple times jfc.

BASICALLY by the end of the movie the message is that communication and being open with people you love (and not getting bogged down with anxiety and guilt) is important, because on top of not being fair to the people who are important to you, hiding things from them can eat you up inside and make you act irrationally and hurt them even more whether you realize it or not. And also, you never know how someone will feel about the things you don't want to tell them. Something that could be huge to you could be no big deal to another.

Its just a very interesting movie. I don't know if I'd recommend it, theres some NUCLEAR SECOND HAND EMBARRASSMENT CRINGE MOMENTS like oh my god i wanted to die- and like I said above, there's lots of intense subject matter and some not so pretty moments that a lot of people may want to avoid. Id for sure check one of those sites that gives content warnings before watching bc hoo boy...

But all that aside, once again Issey is an incredible actor and his range is apparent in this movie. I saw some like- borderline SLAPSTICK physical comedy moments that had me so surprised bc he did them so well but its so new and different from anything else ive watched him star in. Dude is just unstoppable tbh. He HAS 👏 THE 👏 RANGE!! 👏

Also you get to see him naked a lot. So there's that!

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

I posted 6,578 times in 2022

That's 954 more posts than 2021!

2,006 posts created (30%)

4,572 posts reblogged (70%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@batmanisagatewaydrug

@dykerory

@dykeschemicalromance

@marywisdom

@pcklesthings

I tagged 3,290 of my posts in 2022

Only 50% of my posts had no tags

#sex edventures 2022 - 246 posts

#the locked tomb - 174 posts

#gotham time - 142 posts

#weekend positivity - 131 posts

#edward riddlehands - 113 posts

#a court of fey and flowers - 109 posts

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#art - 107 posts

#wwdits - 98 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#'no ethical consumption' is not a get out of jail free card for when you just. don't want to make a very easy and harmless lifestyle change

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I get why fantasy authors would default to using, like, the same basic arrangement of seasons and weather and gravity that we have here in The Real World because they have to make up so much shit as it is and it IS probably good praxis to give your readers some familiar touchstones in your world so they can just focus on the plot, but. having said that. I think there should be more settings that have seventeen seasons, all of them different lengths, and constellations that don't have fixed patterns because sometimes they'll get pissy and just move to a different part of the sky, and sometimes the sun tells people things telepathically, and there's a type of weather where the air just gets really thick and difficult to walk through that's unpleasant but not any more uncommon than rain. it's called smärklf.

19,155 notes - Posted July 30, 2022

#4

hey if you have a pet or pets you need to reblog this rn and tell me in the tags what their names are. bonus points for including what kind of animal.

31,495 notes - Posted July 20, 2022

#3

the worst part of my job (standing around at college orientations being Visibly Queer) is when parents nervously alter their entire walking trajectory to stay out of range as if I'm going to bite them and pass on my infectious homosexuality.

this is wildly eclipsed by the best part of my job, parents who are such wildly enthusiastic allies that their children seem a little embarrassed about it. I'm talking parents who eagerly point out my little rainbow-draped table and urge their kids to come over, parents who excitedly pick through my button box offering up the relevant pride flags and pronouns to their kids, parents who have detailed questions about harassment policies and gender affirming care while their kids are trying to wander away, parents who rush over with open arms and obvious glee on their faces knowing there's a space on campus dedicated to keeping their kids safe.

the ferocity with which these parents love and affirm their queer kids is so humbling and wonderful.

36,652 notes - Posted June 9, 2022

#2

cannot believe twitter libs are whining that protesting outside Kavanaugh's house is iNcOnSiDeRaTe To HiS nEiGhBoRs. if you live nextdoor to Brett fucking Kavanaugh and you're not shitting on his porch or at least throwing eggs at his house every day you're wasting your life.

42,481 notes - Posted May 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

all goofing aside I genuinely don't understand the urge to reimagine Taylor Allison Swift as a secretly queer icon when the pop music scene(TM) is like. literally overflowing with women who actually like women. Gaga and Kesha and Miley and Halsey are right there. Rina Sawayama and Hayley Kiyoko and Rebecca Black and Kehlani and Victoria Monét and Miya Folick if you're willing to get slightly less top 100. Janelle and Demi for them nonbinary takes on liking girls. like what are we doing here. like I'm not even saying you can't enjoy Taylor but why would you hang all your little gay hopes on her.

70,455 notes - Posted September 26, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[hiding-in-my-blanket-fort]

The way I'm utterly and completely fed up with every single member of my family - and many, many of the people around me - cannot possibly be overstated rn.

I've been avidly childfree for as long as I can remember. In my 30s, I'm 100% confident that's the right choice for me. No holds barred. My mother is pressuring me harder and she kicked it up into HIGH gear today.

"If you loved me as a mother, you would give me grandchildren."

"Daniel Radcliffe had a kid. HE loves his mother."

"I must have done something wrong as a mother to make all three of my children not want to have kids!" (Yeah, you bitched about how much you hated being a mother for my entire childhood. Whaddya expect?)

"Oh, I get it. You just don't have a backbone. Only the strongest survive childbirth like I did!"

(We won't go into the fact that she has always been vehemently against me expressing a single scrap of sexuality at any point, forbade me from going to prom because "BOYS", and has repeatedly been against the idea of me dating....yes, I'm aromantic and non-partnering, no she doesn't know that. She literally wants me to have a baby FOR HER, no son-in-law involved.)

She has reconnected with several girls I knew in high school who are all pregnant and/or have several kids by now. I don't have any connection with these girls now but SHE does. She's making baby clothes for them, sending stuff to their baby showers.

Every. single. one of these girls are too wildly emotionally immature to have children. They don't discipline their kids AT ALL. In any capacity. They randomly strip toys away from their kids just to make them scream and then they laugh in the kid's face while the kid cries.

It's fucking AWFUL.

One of my cousins is expecting her first baby and she literally wants to name her child after the tv show Vikings. Why on earth would you do that to your child???? She has no Norse roots. She's straight up American. And she's gonna name her kid Uthegaard (seriously a name she's considering).

Why TF are people like this allowed to procreate???? WHY?

My parents have been GROVELING at the feet of my brother and his girlfriend lately. He doesn't have a job btw. They are 10000% supporting him. He's in training to be a pilot simply for the money (his words). It was a one year program, and it has taken 5+ years. He's not done yet.

He refuses to get a job to support himself because he just...doesn't want to be bothered. So instead, he brags about getting black-out drunk, partying, and gaming for 16 hours, while my parents pet him and say, "We're taking you grocery shopping and you can get anything you want because we don't want you to worry about money!!!"

After they spend $200+ on groceries (where he demands specialty cheeses and cuts of salmon) he doesn't want to eat any of THAT food when he brings it home. He wants to go OUT. So they say yes!! Of course!! And he gets to pick the place!!! So he chooses the most expensive restaurant at $100 a plate.

I've literally never in my life been to a place that expensive. I would feel SO BAD about it.

He throws raging tantrums when we play games (and yes, he's coming over this weekend for my father's birthday so we can have "family time" and I'm holding out hope I might die in my sleep before then). He'll literally fling the cards on the table and yell, "This is fucking STUPID! I have THE WORST cards!! I can't possibly win with any of those cards!! I refuse to play until you start over and deal me another hand!"

And people DO. They LAUGH. They say, "Wow, you're a spoilsport...let's just do what he wants to make him happy!"

He's turning THIRTY YEARS OLD and he's behaving like this!!!!!

His girlfriend is like fingernails on a chalkboard levels of arrogant. She works at a water bottle factory. Two years ago, she was a temp who was called in to decorate the office now and then. She did NOT get that job and was instead moved to standing by a series of valves and reporting on a walkie-talkie whether the valve(s) are on or not.

Fast forward to present day and she's bragging about how "they won't fire me, I'm indispensable, they NEED me! I'm on the same level as the boss now! I'm going to tell THEM how it works around here now!"

Girl....what the actual fuck kind of mushrooms have you been eating to be THAT delusional???

My parents were SO enamored with her when she had her own art show....which was at a very tiny hole-in-the-wall place, with a plain table, a black cloth, and a handful of playing card sized paintings that all looked the same (some airy little clouds and sparkly stars).

I literally had my artwork displayed at the Yellowstone Art Museum and sold at their annual auction.

They did not give a flying fuck.

Is it any wonder I don't want a family of my own? Is it any wonder that I will ALWAYS prefer to be entirely alone rather than deal with other people and their fuckery????

I want peace and quiet. I want a cozy house with plants, books, and a herd of rescued cats.

I never, EVER want to follow in my parents' footsteps and surround myself with this bullshit for the sake of "Faaaammmmilllyyyyy."

[delcakoo]

HI EMSSS IM BACK, WE HAVE CLASSES AGAIN NO😭😭 ISTG I HATE WEEKENDS CAUSE LITERALLY ITS NOT ENOUGH AND THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW IT, YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP AND GO TO SCHOOL. so pissed on why weekends is only a few days. but anyway I badly wanted to request a jungwon!fem scenario where in jungwon notices yn third wheeling to her trio friendship almost everyday and like he notices how distant they are to yn and how they don't include her that much, and that jungwon knows yn is enduring it and not asking help because she's afraid of problems happening because of her and losing the ONLY friends she has. IDK IF THAT MADE SENSE BUT I HOPE IT DID. I put too much details sorry, I have no idea if you reqs are still open so if it isn't that's okay too bb. <33

anyway, so far no ones ruining my day. OH WAIT EMS HOW DO U DROP A FRIEND? LITERALLY I HAVE HAD THIS PROBLEM FOR MORE THAN A YEAR. I JUST CAN'T SEEM TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO KICK A "FRIEND" OUT OF MY LIFE. they said if they really want to talk to you they would, BUT THAT IS JUST COMPLETE BS CAUSE LITERALLY THEIR EXCUSE IS: "Oh we don't have to talk, our friendship is too healthy. so even after a few months and we talk like nothing happened then we're okay!🥰" literally, and guess what. I'm in a trio. haha it's pretty obvious that the request i made is about me hahaha😔😔

-m💙

HI MOOONIEEE BRUH IKR. SUNDAYS ARE FR THE WORST MANNN, WE CSN DO IT THO!! IM SORRY TO BE USELESS BUT I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO DROP A FRIEND EITHER.. ESP AT SCHOOL LIKE UR ALWAYS GONNA SEE THEM ITS VV HARD 😭

BUT BUT OOOOO, OMG OK HEAR ME OUT MY BRAIN HAS THOUGHT OF THIS ON THE SPOT.

JUNGWON AS LIKE A SUPER SOUGHT AFTER JOCK THAT EVERYONE SWOONS OVER BUT HE’S VERY STRICT WITH WHO HES FRIENDS WITH AND ALWAYS JUST POLITELY TURNS PPL DOWN AND AWKWARDLY RUNS OFF AT EVERY CONFESSION. but then one day he begins to notice you around school and how badly you’re third wheeling your two friends (i assume ur friends r dating or smthn?) EITHER WAY LIKE YEAH HE NOTICES HOW THEY’RE KINDA LEAVING YOU OUT (bro doesnt even know your name yet but he feels so bad for you).

so then one day he suddenly goes up to you at your locker and just. “hey, wanna be my girlfriend?” AND YOU JUST CHOKENEJNDKJ THEN HE CHOKES TOO AND HES LIKE. “that came out rlly wrong- okay i meant do you want to fake date to get back at your friends and give them a taste of their own medicine cuz like- it looked like you needed help and stuff but like u totalyl dont have to i sound rlly stupid rn but-”

SO YOURE JUST LIKE. WHO TF R U. okay but this is a great idea and you’re hot as fuck so lets do it THEN THE NEXT DAY UR FRIENDS SEES U TWO TOGTHER AND JUST 😁😃😯😧😱😱😱😱😱 AND SO U KEEP UP THIS FAKE DATING ACT BEING RLLY MUSHY WITH JUNGWON STRAIGHT UP SMOOCHING AND CUDDLING IN FRONT OF THEM but then you slowly begin to realise that YOURE ACTUALLY FALLING FOR HIM AND YOU’RE LIKE fuck this cold mysterious sport boy would never like me back wtf but LITTle do you know jungwons heart is going boom boom TOO and is quietly mourning abiut the fact that the only time he’s allowed to kiss you is in front of THOSE TWO ASSHOLES. ANDHFJFN EVENTUALLY UR FRIEND NOTICES SMTHNS UP AND ASKS WTF IS GOING ON WITH YOU AND YOU JUST BREAK AND TELL HER EVERYHTING AND SO SHE HELPS U COnfesS TO JUNGWON FOR REAL THIS TIME AND THEN HAPPILY EVER AFTR WOOOOOO

i. i jsut came up with all of that on the spot LMFOAOO THATS WHY ITS SO BAD IM SORRYRHFH but i promise moonie if i have time i’ll write this for real JSHDJDN THANK U FOR THE REQ 😭💗💗 💘💜💘

[youdontknowwheretogofromhere]

Tuesday, September 14, 2024 9:58

so, hi guys

i wasn’t gonna write anything today but i started thinking about my bf and got pissed off

on the toilet rn

so, I’m sorry i guess, i misremembered the conversation that upset me. but it pissed me off just thinking about it so i looked up the actual convo and this is what was said verbatim

(context: he told me he liked to romantically while we were flirting or something)

him: nooo i literally have romantic feelings for you so much

me: yesss i super super like you romantically

him: but like i really do, i wanna be with you

me: i thought we were already together (◎_◎;)

him: well not officially are we? i feel like if we were official we'd text more

you know now that i read this i feel a little dumb. I’m still mad tho cuz then when does it become official???? idk this is my first relationship and i thought “taking it slow” was code for a casual relationship but maybe I’m just a fucking idiot

anyways I’m. not mad at him cuz he just sent me a really sweet message today so :)))))

also i had to go to school today and almost passed out in first period. i had the worst fucking nosebleed of my life when my mom drove me to school it was awful. i had the pull out this blood clot that was like as long as my finger out of my nose and it kept breaking so i couldn’t breath. then my nose stopped bleeding but because I’m sick, i still had to blow my nose and when i did a giant thumb-sized clot landed on my grey shirt and it left a stain all day

it sucked. anyways, i’ve been sad the last couple of days because no one is picking up my calls

i only call 4 people, my mom, my sister, my brother, and my boyfriend. my brother never picks up anyway so idc about that. but i call my sister all the time and i feel like she only ever talks to me to complain about her problems but never listens when i talk and it makes me sad sometimes. and i told her about it and she was like “oh, okay.” then like stopped responding when i was talking and it felt like she was mad and we haven’t spoken since even though i text her every day. and my bf skipped our weekly call( its weekly cuz im tired after school so we call on the weekend) I’m not mad at though cuz he just told me he has some things going on in his life(didn’t specify) and he was like “ we’ll definitely call this week or next week, i’ll never forget you, i promise. “ and my heart was so warm. idk but it was very romantic to me

okay i have nothing else to complain about

maybe i’ll talk about good things. maybe if i feel happier. i’ve kind of been in a kind of miserable rut but like i don’t really give a shit. like I’m sad but it’s all in the background so i can laugh all the time and shit but be really

omg i got out of the bathroom and forgot i was writing this for like 20 minutes. i started eating a cooking. it’s now that good cuz it’s like bittersweet chocolate instead of just milk but

anyways, i love you. i will always love you. i hope you love me too

(ive played the game like 8 times and have never been to boom town lol”

10:35 pm

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Saturday, August 24th, 2024!

2:08pm: Damn I feel so crazy rn and so ugh. I feel offended that he keeps saying I can't make a decision. I make decisions and he doesn't like what I pick = I stop making decisions. Plus he is a picky eater I literally can't deal with it. I don't want to go out, pay for food at a restaurant and he doesn't like it. That shit is annoying. Indecisive my ass, my plan two weeks ago was aquarium -> concert -> drunk bedtime/ funsy time. Turned into him saying to play it by ear for a concert..... Hello bro I need to know if I'm buying tickets or not 😑 but it was ok because I was like fuck it at least the aquarium will be fun. LITERALLY he gets TO MY HOUSE and I'm picking out my aquarium outfit and he goes ... Oh I'm tired let's go tomorrow 🙃 which is fine but he had somewhere to be at 1pm which I didn't know we were on a time crunch for the aquarium in the morning aka why would you suggest that. Oh so the other reason for not going to the aquarium Friday was it closed at 5. We would've gotten there around 2:30pm. Aka you assume that means he wants to spend about ~3 hrs at the aquarium (keep in mind I've never been, this is his idea, I am under the impression there's 3+ hrs worth of things to see there). We end up going in the morning, it's expensive af which I didn't really know but I offered to pay bc it's my weekend. We end up only going for about 1 hr...... I'm like ok bro we could've done this yesterday ?? Indecisive my ASS. I'm just kinda annoyed at that comment fr. I'll start planning the dates, where to go for dinner, what to do, but bitch don't start fucking complaining about it once I start planning shit 🤷‍♀️ I've literally never complained about any of his dates, even going to the gym. PLUS nigga I had two dates planned back to back last weekend except your dumb ass was sick so STFU‼️💯🌶️‼️

I'm kinda concerned that this football shit is about to overrun his life (mainly weekends aka the only time he'll hang out with me 💀) idk I just don't have a good feeling about this for some reason. :( He won't introduce me to anyone, nobody knows about me, which was ok before I guess but now every Saturday, he's gonna be with his friends.... Who don't know about me and I guess will not find out about me. Tbh it's giving not confident (either in himself, ME (wtf?) or both), it's giving pussy ass bitch, it's giving you are not my priority - my friends are 🚩, it's giving I act completely different around other people in some way that is incompatible with what I've told/ shown you, and I mean worst case scenario - but unlikely given how unconfident and self-proclaimed fucked up he is - he has a girlfriend or something incompatible with me being in the picture. Can we talk about the low self-esteem, woe is me, my family is fucked up and so am I mentality? That shit is annoying, mf if you don't like your family, you are 26 bitch move out ?? 💀 You are saying you have all these issues, nigga if you are aware of it then wtf why are they still there? Not to knock anyone in the healing stage, but like are you in a place to have a relationship if this shit is so prevalent in your life? I know I wasn't ready for a relationship for a long time, now I am and I feel truly like this MF is dragging his feet because he is lacking something in himself, confidence, trust issues, self-conscious about me being his gf despite saying he likes me but is afraid of what other people will think (confidence again).

I think I hit the nail on the head, he either afraid of my perception of him and/or his people, or his people's perception of me as a reflection on him WHICH to say, is totally fucked in the head and rude af. I'm glad I put this all into words because it's really rubbing me the wrong way.

[heybaetae]

i'm sorry to hear you've been down with the icky sicky :c are you over the peak yet? may a speedy recovery come even sooner!

life update for me on my front is i have my first ever big girl work performance review soon (next thursday!) — and the only thing i am nervous about is how much of a raise i could get (because i know i have been performing very well since i started almost a year ago lol). aside from being sick, how has work been going for you?

another thing is hopefully i can have my shared apartment to myself this weekend, with my boyfriend coming over 🤞 i live with housemates and he lives with family, but both sides respectively are going away for weekend trips! have you ever had housemates? any tales from those endeavours?

thanks :( i've definitely had worst colds than this, but it's the first time i've gotten sick since january of 2020 so i'm mostly just peeved about it because i literally don't go anywhere lol. i caught whatever germs my dad and brother have had the past week and i knew it would happen at some point. it's mostly felt like a sinus cold. i don't have a cough or body aches or anything, it's just been my ears, nose and throat feeling gross. allergy season is no joke! i got a flu shot back in november, i wonder if that has anything to do with it being as tolerable as it is. i've been taking medicine too, so i hope tomorrow i feel a little better.

i hope your performance review goes well and i'm manifesting a nice raise for you! i wish that was me, i'm not employed rn lol. i need money bad but like. fuck it's hard finding a job rip. anyway, YAY an apartment all to yourself soon! i also wish that was me!!!!!!!! i live with my parents still because again, unemployed rn and it's expensive af to live anywhere in california, but we have had family move in with us temporarily quite a few times. my brother and his wife are currently living here for the second time because they want to save money to move out of state and they've been here for six months so far and i have no idea when they're gonna move out. i know they're family and all, but i really just miss having my house and my bathroom and my kitchen to just me and my parents lol. i feel cramped sometimes.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[wizkiddx]

I lovelovelovelove ur writing. Was thinking if u could do one where readers relationship w tom exposed bcos someone recognises her but she isnt famous? And its all backwards and caught out sort of thing

thanks for being so kind! also I feel like me narrator-y voice has gone WAY too far, what do u guys think? I won't be offended promise I just think it sounds so fucking annoying rn

Tom Holland x reader

summary: you run into possibly the most infuriating family members the one time u and ur boy are showing PDA

warnings = none I think :)

///////////////////////

It was a late late evening, on the last train of the night towards manchester, the British countryside plunged into darkness that appeared as a blank, black canvas out the rounded-rectangular windows. 

And although the serene surroundings were calming, the regular and rhythmic movement of the carriage on the tracks - you were more on edge. Your relationship with Tom had yet to be revealed to the world - though you’d travelled as part of his extended entourage before under the guise of a ‘family friend’. So now it just being you, Tom, Harry, Andrew and Rachel - you felt more exposed. Of course, you were incredibly grateful that Tom had planned this weekend away for the two of you (after a work commitment, hence the presence of his manger, makeup artist and Harry). But it was scary.

Coming out of Euston station, the earlier time meant the train had been more of a hive of activity. Kids running up and down the aisle, inevitably recognising Tom and then asking for a photo. Enough that you’d had to move a few seats down the carriage, so no one would associate you travelling with the a-lister. 

But after you’d past Birmingham and the clocks past eleven pm, everything had quietened down and Tom convinced you to come and sit next to him on the table of four.  Andrew and Rachel were taking use of their little duo seat across for you to catch up on some well needed beauty sleep. They’d all been working with Tom doing promo for his most recent movie in London so it’d been pretty 24/7.

That left you, with all the energy, contrasting greatly with the two flagging Holland boys. 

“Lets play heads up!” You announced to the much less enthusiastic faces round the tables. 

“You can’t play that quietly and the whole carriage dont want to listen to you screeching.” Harry rolled his eyes whilst slightly ripping into you, then picking up his phone - thinking that would shut you up.

“I can play quietly!” You huffed, looking for Tom for backing… which never came. He didn’t even need to try and defend himself before you whacked his chest in false-annoyance. 

“ It’s not a bad thing, just passion.” Tom murmured, desperately attempting to sweet talk your round - which of course, was not going to happen. 

“No way! I’ll prove it to you!” 

“Nonono darling, look I’m tired.” He straight refused, wrappings his arms round your shoulders to try and cage you in. He ended up with his back pressed against the window and your back against his chest. “Lemme just relax with my best girl.”  You huffed in reply, worming round in his clutch before eventually giving up and relaxing your head onto his collar bone. For the reasons previously mentioned, you did not for a second believe he was serious with this PDA. Just sitting next to each other was risky enough,  now he was very clearly hugging you in a public place. Arching your neck back, you were shocked he already had his eyes shut - looking perfectly contented and relaxed. 

“T, are you serious?” You whispered, making him crack one eye open with a questioning look. Instantly he knew what you meant, I mean, it was him that was most worried about people finding out about you - for your sake. His horror stories of previous relationships hadn’t helped, to the point now only your mum dad and siblings knew about your relationship to Tom - mainly for the sole reason your nan was the biggest gossip in the world and could NOT be trusted. 

“Course love, it’ll be fine no ones around and I got my cap on. No one will notice us.”

Foolproof. Or so you both thought. 

And honestly for an hour or so you relished in the fact that in a public space, your boyfriend was showing you physical affection. It was exciting, which meant as Tom’s arms grew lax round you as he slumped slightly in the chair your energy only increased. No one else was being any use either - Harry had his head in his arms on the table and similarly neither Rachel nor Andrew were conscious enough to keep you company. Finally you settled on playing a game on your phone whilst also ever so softly wiggling round on Tom’s chest, purely because you enjoyed the little huffs and the way he’d squeeze you tighter as he snoozed. 

You were engrossed in shitty little iPhone game when a person who was walking down the aisle slowed down, drawing your attention away from the phone. And then your heart literally dropped because you instantly recognised your uncle and cousin, who was 12. Worse though, they had most definitely clocked you. 

Of all people, your uncle and boy cousin too. Possible the best (or worst depending on your point of view) at winding you up, at messing  with you, for genuinely causing all chaos and mischief with you. They were most certainly not going to be discrete. They’d rib you till your dying day. 

“Y/n?” Your uncle spoke first, noticing the that the group you with all seemed to be asleep, so at least trying to be a bit sensitive. Not that it mattered on Tom’s part though, you instantly bolted up and away from him, making him groan as he slowly woke up. 

“Er yeh, I-um  fancy seeing you guys here. Why were you in London?” Because yes half your family did live in manchester - a fact you felt slightly guilty about, considering you couldn’t fit in a quick and explainable reason as to  why you were in that area of the UK during a ‘pop in’. So you’d chosen to keep the whole trip a secret too.

“We’ve been at the footie, could ask you the same question.” Your uncle smirked, noticing toward Tom, who now was blinking his eyes heavily - looking with furrowed brows between the two of you. 

Because yes, the cap had been great to stop people recognising Tom. Neither of you were to expect it’d be you that’d be YOU stopped by someone who noticed you. 

“Oh um… well er this is my friend Tom, he’s got a work thing in manchester so thought I’d tag along. What was the score?” Yes you described your boyfriend of 9 months as a friend, when it was clear to everyone you were more than that. Though frankly, you still felt sick introducing him as ‘boyfriend’ - that itself was cringe as hell. The reference to football was an in-vain attempt to distract them with the most-boring-sport-in-the-world talk. If only Tom had kept his mouth shut. 

“Sorry mate” His voice was a little hoarse, making him force a cough before stretching his hand out. “I’m Tom”

“Nice to meet you, I’m Ritchie and this is Matt” Your uncle motioned to his twelve year old son who was smiling politely but his expression seemed to drop as he made eye contact with Tom. Blissfully unaware, Tom shook Ritchies hand your a soft smile. 

“How do you guys-“

“I’m her uncle. Tell you what, didn’t imagine bumping into my niece on the 11:30 train to manchester.” 

Tom’s face fell and he froze. You’d both been caught out. Massively. It couldn’t get worse, till it did. 

“Y/n is that Spiderman?” Because yes, Matt was prime Marvel fanboy age. And yes, of course his favourite hero was Spiderman. And yes, this would probably be the most exciting day of his life. And the most embarrassing of yours. 

It was at this point Harry was sufficiently disturbed, enough to make him sit upright whilst also backing away into the corner of the booth, watching from afar.

“I-uh” You didnt really want to say it, for the sake of that meant he was revealing this secret you’d guarded with your life. But at the same time, you had this overwhelming sense of pride for Tom because “yeh, yes he is spiderman.” Matt started jumping up and down like an overexcited boyband fan which made you laugh, heart swelling as Tom chuckled along beside you.

Yes by no means was this ideal. And yes you were now forced to tell your family (so ultimately the world) about your relationship. Maybe that wasn’t so bad though?

hope u enjoyed + thank you for reading <333

tagging: @hollandfanficlove @hallecarey1

[koishua]

*inhales* *exhales* *inhales*

IM SMILING FROM EAR TO EAR RN I DID NOT EXPECT WHATEVER JUST HAPPENED TO HAPPEN 😭😭😭 IT WENT SO XJDKMXNCJCJC LIKE, JDJDJDNDNJDJD 😭😭😵

okay phew. btw it was my first ever official date welp- great okay so uhh it went vv well like, forget about STARBOY for a sec. just the vibes were freaking immaculate oml i love city nights ;-;-;-; it was a bit chilly but luckily i had like a leather jacket so it wasn't too bad okay-

we walked for a while around the streets and talked and stuff and i tried my best not to go as red as a tomato bc he said i looked cute. like, the wholesome kind of cute and if that didn't kill me idk what did.

take my soul now. take it and lemme rip ;-;-;-;- *screams into hands* it was just a small date. just a small one. i shouldn't be this ecstatic mfkcnc mf got me wrapped around his pretty fingers istg-

the way i SPED around the house 😭✋ never in my life have i ever gotten ready that quick oml

we hung out at the park after buying coffees bahahaha it's eight pm on a weekend. not a lot of places were open. hnnnn he was so xnnxnxn how is he so???? 🤨 i hate how effortless he is istg-

it was so unexpectedly fun and like, sure i was excited and nervous at first but he tripped 💀 he tripped on the sidewalk it was the funniest shit ever and after that it was so fun oml. like, exhilarating in the chillest way idek how to explain it

he is so fun ;-; we literally were high on caffeine 😭✋ y'all know just how woozy i get after a cup like?? we were arm in arm skipping over stuff wtf actually happened am i in a fever dream what just happened

anyways, i did enough cardio for the week lmfao i think we ran more than we sat 💀💀💀💀 the things i endure for him smh 🤨

there is a skateboard park near my beloved abandoned train tracks and it's always legitimately THE coolest there. there were a few kids hanging around but it wasn't crowded so we hung out there for a while

AND THE BEST FUCKING PART IS THAT HE COULD SKATE. LIKE, MF HOW MUCH MORE PERFECT COULD YOU EVER GET????

granted he did slip on his feet like two times but who am i to judge 😭✋ i bodyslam on everything all the time, it was funny bahahaha

i enjoyed the night out a whole lot ;-;-; good vibes, y'all. good vibes 😔 i would have died internally if we just sat down awkwardly in a cafe lmfao i hate that 😭✋

the entire walk back to my house, we vibed to some random radio channel bahahaha i sincerely hope no one from our grade saw us bc i could actually die. i am now mortified bc ???? istg we were not drunk but 💀💀

anyways, it was perfect. everything i could have ever wanted ;-; i don't think he noticed how fast my heart was beating at first lmfao and the worst thing is, i am so awkward with people when we are alone like, i can't function one-on-one...

especially with a guy 😭✋

oh and i also developed the urge to dropkick him 😌 across the continent 😌.

ik that imitating body language is like a way for people to subconsciously tell you that they like you as a person but if he imitates everything i do one more time ever, he will be smacked 💀✋

HE LIKED THE SONG I RECCED HIM YES PLEASE Y'ALL ILY TY FOR GIVING ME ALL OF THOSE SONGS A FEW DAYS AGO 😭😭

ALSO I MESSED UP MY GERMAN FFS I THOUT WE WAS FLUENT MATE I- 💔💔💔 it's okay he said it was very funny ;-; excuse you sir i don't think you speak perfect English too 😭

I SAID "I hope i didn't forget my bowl." INSTEAD OF "i hope i didn't forget my keys." 😭😭😭💔💔💔 SCHÜSSEL AND SCHLÜSSEL ARE THE SAME WHEN YOU ARE TIRED ✋😭😭

[thewickerking]

i think its a bit silly (awful. its awful) that as i stsrt focusing on planning to connect with family (my salvadoran family as well as my dads family on the other side of the country) the family i actually have access to falls apart. there used to be seven people in my house and now there are four. none of those three are better off they are mostly worse and im terrified that none of these three children are going to be able to avoid living horrible lives. i don't think theres a future where my brother lives past 20 something and also doesnt go to jail. i genuinely cant see anything that stops either of those things from happening and its horrible. my aunt is testifying against my mother in court and my grandmother learned people were going to take my cousins away from my mother and she ran without a word and wont stop calling my mother to whine about how hard she has it. My mom isnt answering her calls. my moms bfs family has been shittalking behind our backs and something. really fucking shitty they did has come to light (will not elaborate) im just. exhausted. i want to connect with family and with my cousins living with us that was happening and fuck. fuck. just. they were loved. so so much here and they can never come back and it doesnt matter whats fair or right or just and fuck. my dog is scared of fireworks and she stayed in the room my cousins were in because she loved spending time with them. my sisters favorite word is the name of one of my cousins and they dont get it. they dont get that theyre never coming back. fuck. it feels like theres no light at the end of the tunnel. i cant even imagine recovery from what happened this weekend and i wasnt around for any of it until today. normally i can imagine myself a month after something bad happens and know itll get better but i do think it only gets worse from here. obviously it will get better for me personally im going to college and im excited but i genuinely cant think of anything in the world that would break my mother more thwn whats happened. i literally think my brother dying would've been easier to handle than this. and i doooont want to specify too much bc personal details and like. one of the worst things thats ever happening to my family rn and no one knows what to do other than what weve done already which is a short term solution to a very long term problem. i cant do anything and i cant even be reassured someone else is doing something i cant because no one knows what to do and my mom hasnt even told everyone yet. we had aquarium tickets. wild waves tickets. they were signed up for summer camps. we were doing everything and now theyre with strangers and are probably going to slowly enter a downward spiral of life repeating the cycle of my shitty fucking family and any attempts on our end to rescue them from that were fruitless. fuck. at least we vaccinated them. thats literally all i can say. anyways im going to bed ive been crying all day and i have work tomorrow