#lil big rig vibes

[krakenbird]

He looks like a little kid whos allowed to sit behind the wheel for a photo op.

[aha-chuu]

I'm writing an AU rn and like

So Wriothesley woke up in hospital after (correctly) killing his foster parents and Arlecchino is just There. So Wrio doesn't know who tf she is but he's a lil broody and very "yes I deserve prison, yes I'm 13 what about it"

Arlecchino meanwhile has only just taken over the House of the Hearth and killed her own abuser so they're kinda vibing in a dysfunctional way. She really wanted to kill all the child traffickers in Fontaine but she couldn't find them yet (she's only just come back from Fatui stuffs and since she's only just taken over the HoH she doesn't have an information network to rely on).

HOWEVER by killing his foster parents (who were part of the same trafficking ring) Wriothesley unintentionally picked a thread that Arlecchino can now follow go deal with all the shitty nobles in Fontaine and save a bunch of children. She's pretty much come to see Wriothesley to tell him this and legit thank him because she genuinely really cares about the children of Fontaine and this all Sucks.

So now Wriothesley is still going to prison but Arlecchino has her eye on him. She basically sees him as her first 'child' even though he doesn't know her as 'Father' like the rest of the kids do.

(which: in this AU the reason Arlecchino was there to save Lynette was because she uncovered the nobleman involved through the info chain Wriothesley set off so there's layers here).

Wriothesley is in prison and Arlecchino sends him fun little letters (and he replies (honestly feel bad for the poor Fatuus who was stuck in Meropide as their go-between)). Importantly she never sends him anything more than morale boosts - no bribing the guards for special treatment, no rigged pankration fights, no extra credit coupons. Arlecchino loves all her children but Tough Love is as important as any other form.

So Wrio had a ten year prison sentence and everything pretty much goes as canon: he learns to thrive, garners everyone's respect and, eventually, takes control of Meropide by duelling the administrator on the day he should have been released. Arlecchino's getting all these updates and she's so so pleased at how well he's doing. He's given the 'duke' title and she's ready to give him all the desdert, he's a great son and he deserves a treat.

But there is a whole layer to this that, though Wrio & Arlecchino have been in communication for a decade, he's never learned that she's Fatui and, when he eventually does learn, he doesn't confer those two identities. Same with Arlecchino - where Lyney, Lynette and Freminet are Fatui agents, Wrio is her First child and he's disconnected from that. That's why Lyney is her heir - Wrio's almost like a pet project she took on outside of her Fatui responsibilities.

Obviously it's then funny when Lyney & co clash against Wriothesley because like. They've never met but Arlecchino definitely considers them all part of the same family. Lyney has too much of a big brother complex to have to deal with his 'Father' introducing a much bigger big brother into the fold who has also managed to do like,, everything.

Like poor Lyney cos Wrio literally went to prison at 13 and still became the third most politically powerful and richest person in Fontaine before he was 25. Forget Forbes Under Thirty, Lyney has to contend with whatever this shit is without developing issues

(Lyney is actually very cool and better suited to all the Fatui stuffs but you know. He's gotta compare himself).

So anyway the concept of the AU (Arlecchino Adoption AU???) mostly centers on all the letters Arlecchino & Wriothesley sent to each other, and then navigating the dynamic later on when the Fatui are crawling all over Fontaine and The Prophecy. Bonus points for Neuvillette's most trusted Wriothesley having this weird Arlecchino connection, and if he can be convinced to side with her, Wriothesley could fuck up all of Fontaine by having Meropide go on strike and halting all of construction. So messy.

Everyone gets to bribe Wriothesley with tea to be on their side but in reality Wriothesley is on his own side (Arlecchino's like: yes this is how to raise an independent child, Lyney: he literally shot me and convinced me he would murder my family, Arlecchino: yeah they really don't make em like they used to huh).

Also all of the letters with Arlecchino were 100% like,,, philosophical debates and historical discussion from whatever prison book Wrio just read. No parental guidance here. He met this woman once, she is not his dad - she's his pen pal. Arlecchino finds labels unimportant in this instance.

[adelaidedrubman]

one clown fifteen lines

Rules: Share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture the character/personality/vibe of the OC. Bonus points for just using the dialogue without other details about the scene, but you're free to include those as well!

i was tagged by dears @simplegenius042 @direwombat @gwynbleidd @sofrosine @nightbloodbix @corvosattano @voidika @quickhacked to post a lil bit of oc dialogue samples! outgoing tags below cut + like here to opt in:3

1. “Yeah, ya know, they’re actually teachin’ all kindsa folk how to read an’ write these days,” she answered his second question with a sarcastic exaggeration of the natural twangs of her accent, ignoring his first entirely. “They ain’t even makin’ you go all the way to law school for it no more.”

2. “Piss off, Earl,” she spat, elbowing him out of the way. “I mean, honest to god fuckin’ piss off, alright?”

3. “Opossums are fuckin’ marsupials, Mary May!”

4. “I would fuckin’ carve out your eyes and throw them in the lake first, so that the only thing you’d ever see of me again is my fishing hook when I came back here to catch whatever trout had the bad luck of eating you.” 

5. “Familiar enough to know that if you’re calling me a ‘Delilah’ or something that’s some misogynistic bull —”

6. “Probably do a little publicity tour, once it all makes news. A few TV specials, tell-all nightly news interviews, a true crime podcast here and there. I bet I could make a good buck writing some kinda fucking memoir or something about this shit. Everyone would eat it up, you know, out of guilt, ‘cause —” she paused, raising her pitch a bit in nasally mocking, “‘cause we should really be focusing on the victims, not making the perpetrators famous,” she chimed, followed by a dismissive wave of her hand at the thought. “But you know, they’d still all be reading it to see what I said about you of course. But no skin off my ass, as long as they buy it. Figure I could spend… two, maybe three months as America’s sweetheart, then slip back into anonymity. Live off the royalties. The occasional consulting fee, anytime someone decides to make a movie about you and your fuckin’ cult.” 

7. “Head wasn’t that good,” she replied flatly. 

8. “Yeah, pretty sure they make a pill these days for when a gal realizes she’s made that kinda mistake,” she retorted with an exaggerated batting of her eyelashes as she pulled the flask from his hand. “And if you’re the baby daddy, she really would be wising up to take it.” 

9. “Oh, I’m back, baby.” She forced the smile to fall from her face, lips and brow tensing with sudden gravity. “And I’ve rigged this whole fucking mountain with explosives set to go off any second now. This thing is gonna blow sky fuckin’ high, and you and I are going to blow up with it. ’Cause I —” she feigned a gasp, brought her wrist to her brow as she threw her head back in a pantomime of being on the verge of fainting. “I can’t deny it any longer — I’m in love with you, and I want us to fucking be together forever in the fiery abyss of death.” 

10. “Tell your big bwother to make his stump speeches even scawrier next time — I’m sure it’ll make the canon fodder he sends out harder to kill, if he gravels his voice a bit more.”

11. She snorted. “You worried I’m not playing with a full set or something?”

12. “I jest,” she hissed, knocking his hand away. “You haven’t fuckin’ gotten that by now? It was a fucking joke.” 

13. “C’mon, that the fucking best miss church camp coachella can do to scare me?”

14. “For the fuckin’ record, I’m prolonging the void of nothingness when my organs stop functioning and I cease to exist in conscious form, not eternal damnation,” she finally spat. 

15. “It’s gonna be hilarious, actually,” she replied, pushing herself off from the door frame with a parting wave. “Tell your friends!” 

tagging: @cassietrn @shallow-gravy @derelictheretic @socially-awkward-skeleton @lordundying @florbelles @henbased @belorage @8bitpizzacoupons @firstaidspray @theresaruggedroad @afarcryfrommymain @clicheantagonist @v0idbuggy @orionlancasterr @strafethesesinners @deputyash @confidentandgood @strangefable @stacispratt @miyabilicious @omen-speaker @nowandthane @hctknives @wrathfulrook @fourlittleseedlings @galaxycunt @josephslittledeputy @just-another-wasteland-merc @voidika @captastra @blissfulalchemist @shellibisshe @thedeadthree and anyone who would like to share!

[sinsofsinister]

[ valentino drake • human • bomber alchemist ]

• grew up in the less well off part of the infinite city. very frugal as a result. is also very good at jury rigging repairs to almost anything.

• been with his current gang for a good handful of years. participates in the production and distribution of various drugs. has no real loyalty to the gang. he just really likes the money coming in and the freedom he gets to fuck around with his alchemical experiments.

• every scar he has is from some sort of alchemical incident.

• cannot hear out of his right ear. made a lil hearing aid thing for himself. he will fully turn it off if someone he doesn't like is trying to talk to him from that side.

• has only two fingers and a thumb on his left hand. lost his ring finger as a punishment during his teen years working for a different gang. lost his little finger after accidentally spilling an acidic concoction on it while working on little to no sleep.

• big 'dont put me in a situation im at my limit and im very tired' and 'contrary to popular belief violence actually solves a lot' kinda vibes.

[ankhlesbian]

Kingohger ep 1 overal thoughts under da cut ^_^ feel free to reply w ur own

CGI-wise: i really liked the feel it brought to the throneroom / castle scenes, very epic and kingdom establishing. But it definitely felt underwhelming and lackluster in crowded scenes like the festival walk/big invasion at the end. I hope they stop going /as/ hard and do dressed up/just blatant japan ground locations for more scenes so it feels more real

The ranger ground fights as a whole felt kinda meh, though tbf they were clearly making the mechha debut the Big Thing TM. Karma for donbros just skipping it half the time/not giving a shit.

Speaking of mecha i thought i’d be into the cockpit rig but it just made the actor parts in there feel kinda sluggish and stiff. Tbh i usually skip/speed thru the mexha fights anyways sooooo doesnt affect me much tbh

Also ngbl the crystal transform thing was nderwhelming. All those armored pieces we gotta see those slap on proper yknow

I jnow it’s the inouepilled brain but i really thought we’d do just a little but if secret identity ploy. But ig thinking abt it more the kingdoms prob know enough abt wach other that cant really have their leader be a secret. Ig they were more isolated initially in my mind. Speaking of inouepill imagine how funny it wouldve been for just one episode for them to be like wow racles nice fight! And for him to go what the fuck are you talking about

Character-wise: Fair enough intros imo, nothing to write home about in particular though. seems like we might do a 1 charrie focus an ep gauntlet at first since yanma was real hyped up. I actually liked him a lot more than i thought i would. Cocky delinquent tch guy

I’m also really curious about Gira, he was much less of a straightforward yells red TM than i thiught he’d be. The whole shaking arm almost in tears to AHAHAHAA I AM EVIL KING scene gave very much theatre kid i am choosing my role vibes. I would love to dig into his psyche. Also while i am all for the whole same actions different reasons foil/well-intentioned extremist villain thing they really did not properly establish racles’ world conquership vs gira’s i will conquer the world thing. This beetle is just showing blatant favoritism their stated desired are like exactly the same. Also please no secret royal bloodline gira thing. Tho i highly suspect it is coming.

Appreciation for racles getting cucked. I love it when a toku guy gets cucked out of transformation

Overall it was a lil style over substance but there’s def some cool stuff happening. Will it be able to follow donbros act? I think there is potential for some goodass character arcs and fun vague politics shenanigans (rebel on the run gira! Allying w kingdoms who make enemy of his home kingdom now!). Realistically i fear it may end up conpletely style over substance but hey im havin fun

[sometimesanalice]

domestic ankle display > slutty beach shimmy (but also every part of bradley bradshaw send the girlies into a tizzy, let's be honest, lol)

Coyote had even accused him earlier tonight of moping and bringing down the vibe at the Hard Deck. Which he wasn’t wrong and Bradley can own up to it. He was definitely guilty of sulking. He just missed you. - i can just picture his furrowed lil brow and that florence pugh frown on his face as he’s sitting at the hard deck. but sweet boy misses his girl and are we really going to make fun of him for that? no ma’am (also fanboy calling him a straight up bummer is too funny)-- he'd just be sooo pouty! like people would try to pull him into things and he'd be like "nah. no thanks". like go play some darts, sir. but the fanboy bit truly made me giggle, because he would and then give bradley such a side eye about it too.

But he’d made a big show of giving you a new one a few weeks back when he’d realized that he’d wanted you to have one as his girlfriend. - the fact that he re gave her a key is so LIC bradley, i absolutely adore it- he's like there are steps! there's an order! it's one thing to give a sos key to your bestie but then another to give it to a girlfriend. and since his is both, he's of course going to do the whole shebang. the fact he wants her to have a new shiny one too, like a fresh key. he's so smitten.

“Oh, you love me,” you’d practically sang, as he took the old one off your keychain and replaced it with the new one - ENOUGH! ENOUGH!!!-- she'd be teasing but also FULL HEART EYES over it, lmao.

“…It’s like you want me to have a full blown Victorian Crisis.” - top 5 funniest things she’s ever said- raise your hand if you've been personally victimized by bradley bradshaw's slutty ankle (or want to be) 🙋🏼‍♀️

In fact, you’d stolen this particular shirt on more than one occasion. Which now that he thinks about it is probably why he’d gravitated towards it in the first place. - ENOUGH!! /this/ is about to give me victorian crisis-- he's such a simp and i love him

“That would be nice since you clearly have no consideration for my poor nerves,” - alright mrs bennett- you know she's put the 1995 one on before, and definitely teased him about his huffy theatrics lololol. and then when he argues she finds an online quiz and makes him take it, and he says it's rigged when he does in fact get mrs bennett, lol

“I toil all day to earn a living and to help the government fund my boyfriend’s paycheck-“” Bradley snorts, amused. - i giggled out loud too haha--she's so funny, ROAST HIM

“You’re too damn handsome for your own good. You’re easily the best thing I’ve seen all day, Bradley.” - awwwwww this is so sweet-- just them being a modern day 9-5 pair of starcrossed lovers, haha. fuck capitalism

There’s no sun flares or orchestral strings, none of the things in those movies you like to put on when you’re stressed or sick. But he knows he can give those ones a run for their money. If there’s one thing he knows how to do, it’s how to kiss you. - ugh this is so romantic!!! i wanna swoon-- foot pops and swooning galore!

it's also vital for you to know that he puts on p&p 2006 for her and makes her a grilled cheese sandwich, and when she falls alseep on him, he wakes her up in time to see the hand clench.

just thinking about “like I can” bradley on this fine Thursday evening (and every other day)

Oh my god, you and me both! (He’s never not on my mind, let’s be honest 😂) Cozy, domestic Bradley has been both the bane of my existence and the object of all my desires of late.

Delicate Sensibilities

Bradley’s lounging on his couch half watching the game on tv and half aimlessly scrolling on his phone waiting for you to get home.

You’ve been having to work late most days this week because of some tight deadlines with a difficult client. He feels like he’s barely seen you in the past four days.

And it didn’t help that you’d slept at your place last night.

Alone. Without him.

Coyote had even accused him earlier tonight of moping and bringing down the vibe at the Hard Deck. Which he wasn’t wrong and Bradley can own up to it. He was definitely guilty of sulking.

He just missed you.

It’s all he can do to try and play it cool- the game completely forgotten- when he hears open his front door, letting yourself in with the key he’d given you.

You’d technically had one since you first moved to San Diego. One that had been for emergencies back when the two of you were just friends. But he’d made a big show of giving you a new one a few weeks back when he’d realized that he’d mwanted you to have one as his girlfriend. It was a distinction he’d felt was important to make, it wasn’t a step he’d wanted to miss out on taking with you.

As he’d expected, you’d taken the opportunity to tease him about. “Oh, you love me,” you’d practically sang, as he took the old one off your keychain and replaced it with the new one. But he’d seen the look in your eyes as you traced the shiny new key with your finger when you thought he wasn’t looking.

Bradley hears you drop your things to the floor with a heavy thunk, he can practically feel the withering glare you’re probably giving your work tote and laptop as you kick off your shoes with a clatter one by one.

He counts your soft footsteps, knowing each one brings you that much closer to him. His torso already turned towards the entryway to see you the moment you step into frame.

And then there you are.

Your face just as familiar to him as his own. He’s known every version of you. The girl he’d grown up with, his best friend, the woman of his dreams. Still his favorite person, then and now.

He thinks he sees your shoulders release the slightest bit when your pretty eyes meet his.

Bradley didn’t realize just how parched he’d been for you until he’s drinking you in. It still knocks him in the chest sometimes, that you’re here and you’re his.

“There’s my best girl,” he greets you, hoping to see those dimples of yours.

He can tell you’ve had a long day, an even longer week. You look tired, but you’re still the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

“Jesus, Bradley,” you groan.

He sits up straighter, alarmed. “Sweet girl? What’s wrong?”

You heave a full bodied sigh. “I feel like I’ve been hanging on by a thread all week and then I come here and see you like this? It’s like you want me to have a full blown Victorian Crisis.”

The melodramatic way you fling your arms out to the side would make snort under normal circumstances, if he wasn’t still bouncing between confused and concerned.

Bradley looks down at the comfortable clothes he’d thrown on once he got home from being kicked out of the bar for being- as Fanboy called him- a straight up bummer. All he was wearing was his favorite pair of jogger sweatpants and a soft, worn shirt that he’s pretty sure has a hole under the armpit.

But it wasn’t anything you hadn’t seen before. In fact, you’d stolen this particular shirt on more than one occasion. Which now that he thinks about it is probably why he’d gravitated towards it in the first place.

“I- Huh?”

“I mean, look at how much above the ankle skin you’ve got on display over there, Bradshaw.” You point a finger towards his feet, his eyes follow to where the elastic cuff of his pants is slightly pushed up on his calf. “Frankly, it’s indecent.”

He’ll never get tired of that teasing gleam in your eyes. You’re such a menace, but he wouldn’t want it any other way.

Bradley tips his head back against the couch and laughs. “Should I be worried about your delicate sensibilities, kid?”

“That would be nice since you clearly have no consideration for my poor nerves,” you lament, bringing the back of your hand up to your forehead.

“Should I cover up then?” he asks with a smirk.

“Let’s not make any rash decisions. We’re close enough to the seaside that I should make a full recovery. Salt air and all that jazz.”

He lifts an eyebrow and then tugs up the pant leg on the other side. “How are your poor nerves now?”

Bradley sees you fighting to keep from giving into that grin he knows would take over your whole face if you let it. One that would be wide and bright and just for him.

“I toil all day to earn a living and to help the government fund my boyfriend’s paycheck-“” Bradley snorts, amused. “And you tease me? In my delicate state?”

He toys with the hem of his shirt before he shucks it off and tosses it to the side. “How about now? Does this make things better or worse?”

You purse your lips together as if you’re pondering, but he doesn’t miss the appreciative way you’re looking at him.

“Unclear,” you say after a minute. “I think I’m too far away, but also I’m pretty sure my distance vision is officially shot.”

“Can’t have you dealing with a Victorian Crisis and eye strain.” Bradley pats his thigh in invitation. “Why don’t come on over here, that way I can catch you if you have a fainting spell.”

“Such a gentleman,” you say, finally walking towards him.

He bites back a moan at the sight of you shimmying up your skirt in front of him, just slightly higher than it needs to be for you to settle yourself on top of him.

His hands come to rest on your hips as you run your fingers through his hair. And low rumble escapes him as your nails gentle scrape against his scalp. The way he’s so gone for you, just one touch and you basically have him purring like a cat.

You lean in and nudge your nose against his.

“I’ve seen too much of a computer screen and not nearly enough of you this week. And all of this, a lot,” you say, gesturing at him. “You’re too damn handsome for your own good. You’re easily the best thing I’ve seen all day, Bradley.”

He feels his ears get warm at your words and the affectionate way you’re gazing at him.

“Think you’ll need some smelling salts if I kiss you?” Bradley asks. He cups your face in his hand, letting his thumb skim over your cheekbone.

“There’s only one way to find out.”

“C’mere,” he murmurs.

Bradley slips his hand behind your neck and pulls you close. You lean into him easily, pliantly, easily. Like being in his lap- in his arms- is the only place you want to be.

There’s no sun flares or orchestral strings, none of the things in those movies you like to put on when you’re stressed or sick. But he knows he can give those ones a run for their money. If there’s one thing he knows how to do, it’s how to kiss you.

He shows you with his mouth just how much he’s been longing for you. How much he needs you. How much he wants you.

Bradley smiles to himself when he hears that hitch in your breath, the way you do when he skims his tongue under your bottom lip. Your arms tightening around his neck as you press yourself against him until there’s not an inch of room between the two of you.

“Missed you,” you hum against his lips. He feels his fingers flex on the soft swells of your hips.

“I missed you too, sweet girl.”

Bradley watches as the corners of your mouth curl upwards, as you twirl some of his hair around your finger. “Oh, I know. Nat texted me a photo of you earlier tonight, you looked like a sad puppy sitting there in the corner by yourself.”

He groans and scrubs a hand down his face.

“But clearly, I didn’t fare much better. The slightest hint of a manly ankle bone and you almost sent me into a state of female hysteria.”

“So, the ankle is what does it for you then, kid?”

“Amongst other things,” you allow, trailing a finger down his chest.

He catches your hand and tangles your fingers with his. “And how are you feeling now? Should I order those smelling salts?”

“I think I’ll manage without them,” you say. “But you should probably kiss me again for good measure”.

“I can do that”, Bradley grins.

He drops kiss after kiss on your cheeks, your nose, your forehead until you’re laughing and smiling with those dimples on full display. Just the way he likes you to be.

Happy and here with him.

[mypoisonedvine]

hey there again! its zemo/bucky/loki anon and you have just given me another idea! 40's brooklyn w/ bucky, or 40's brooklyn with pre serum steve! i am a big simp for both but yes! again, sending all the nice vibes your way today!

ooh yes! umm I'm gonna go preserum steve but it's a very close call!

I just want him to take me to coney island and we can play the rigged carnival games and I would win a prize and he would buy me candied nuts or something and we could make out a lil bit on the ferris wheel

I just think that would be nice c:

[luv4fandoms]

Earth Angel (GabrielXOFC) Part 2.2

Second part of chapter 2 because it was too big for Tumblrs limit.

And just in case you are coming across this before the first part...as I say in all the chapters...This doesn't fully follow the Supernatural timeline, somethings have been changed (like Gabriel's death in the au world cause it was stupid and I refuse to accept it lol) so just a heads up. This is also inspired by @askpsychocas 's Angel Courting Ritual post (which I use in my story. Askpsychocas if you want me to take those parts out let me know and I will). This story also has a Scott Pilgram vibe lol.

The link to the first part can be found below.

If you would like to be added to the taglist for this story let me know

Gif by @beneathgabrielswings , I couldn't find it on the Gif search but you can find the gifset here

Part 1...Part 2.1...Masterlist

Pairings: Gabriel x Original female character

Warnings: killing, talk of adultery, Gabriel being a charming/fluffy lil sh*t

Word count: (total) 8,725(this part)4,599

https://ko-fi.com/luv4fandoms

"A date?" I asked, quickly covering up my shock with a smirk of my own.

"Yeah, she only goes after couples right? So let's act like a couple" he explained. And for some reason his explanation slightly hurt.

'All for the case' my mind stated. 

"Yeah...Yeah sure that might help end this faster" I nodded, quickly stepping out of the car before Gabriel could read my expression. My emotions needed to get in check, quick, this whole week they had been in an uproar because of him and I still wasn't sure why.

"Well you could have at least let me open the door for you" Gabriel joked, I forced a smile and shook my head. 

"You gotta be quicker if you wanna do that" 

We headed towards the ticket booth and into the slightly long line, there were already a bunch of couples here, all either holding hands or cuddling into each other. Again I felt a sting of sadness, must be nice to have someone like that-but was it really real? Or was at least one of them simply playing a part? I must have been focused on my own thoughts for too long because I soon felt a hand in mine before a voice spoke up.

"Two please" I looked over at Gabriel as he handed the woman at the booth the money in exchange for our tickets. He thanked her and guided me through the gates, my eyes rested on our hands, how many years had it been since I simply held hands with someone? In this life simple things like that don't come often, and his hands were warm, far warmer than a humans, even if he didn't have giant wings, the heat alone would give him away. I watched his hand move, fingers turning to intertwine with mine before I heard him chuckle.

"Is this ok?"

"Huh?" I asked, looking up to meet his gaze, he gave me a soft smile, hand gently moving mine as if to gesture to what he was talking about. 

"O-oh yeah, yeah it's fine" I smiled before turning to look out at all the people.

"So a red head" I stated.

"Redhead" Gabriel confirmed before pulling me along. 

"I mean, while we're here" he said while gesturing to all of the game stalls.

"Would be a shame to not have a little fun"

"You know almost all of these things are rigged" I stated while looking at all the games, watching as so many people tested their skills in order to win prizes for their dates.

"Well I'm sure I can even out any cheating" he replied with a wink as he led me to a game, this one was the one where you knock down the cans, the one where usually the cans are weighted and the ball is far too light to do anything.

"Hello sir!" The overly eager carnie smiled at Gabriel.

"Hey kiddo, so how does this work?" Gabriel asked, playing dumb.

"Five dollars gets three tries, knock the top row off and get a small prize, the middle row gets a medium price and the bottom row gets a large prize." He explained as he took the money Gabriel handed him.

"See anything you like sugarplum?" He asked, looking back at me. 

"Surprise me sweetheart" I smiled, earning a smile before he turned back to the game and threw the first two balls, acting like the game was kinda difficult, only knocking a few off the top row, before he knocked the entire stack down with the last ball. 

"Saved by the last one" The teenager smiled

"What will it be sir?"

"Hmmm, how about...that" Gabriel told him, pointing to one of the large stuffed animals, the teen got it down and handed it to him.

"Thank you for playing!" 

Gabriel turned and handed me the prize...A giant stuffed wolf.

"Why thank you sir" I smiled and took it from him before he reached down and took my hand again.

"Why a wolf?" I asked, curious but having a feeling.

"Well we did first meet on that Werewalker case" he told me, confirming my thoughts.

"To commemorate our first meeting" I smiled down at the plush.

"And when I first started falling for you" he added with a grin making me roll my eyes.

"Whatever you say there Casanova" I smirked, forcing down the blush and feelings his words brought forth.

"Come one let's play another game"

"Oh but I thought they were all rigged" he smirked.

"They are...But they're still fun" I said with a small smile as we walked towards the balloon dart game, this one was run by a not so happy middle aged man.

"Five dollars gets you three darts, 1 dart wins a small prize, 2 darts a medium prize, and 3 a large prize" he droned on as I gave him the money.

"See anything you like sweetheart?" I asked Gabriel, mimicking his earlier words with a smile, earning a chuckle from him as he leaned against the small counter beside me, he looked through all the prizes before his eyes landed back on mine.

"Surprise me Sugar" I pulled my arm back and aimed, throwing the dart before a "pop" was heard once, twice, three times. 

"Remind me never to challenge you to a game of darts" he laughed.

"How do you think I make my money at bars?" I laughed.

"I figured men just threw money at you as a gift for being able to just lay their eyes on you" he spoke, stepping behind me and placing his hands on my hips, boy was he laying it on thick.

'Just for the case' I had to remind myself as I felt my heart speed up.

"So what will it be?" The man asked, clearly annoyed with us.

"Oh, right, sorry" I laughed, looking up.

"That one" I stated, watching as he pulled it down and handed it to me, Gabriel let go of me so I could turn and trade him the wolf plush for his plush, a yellow candy heart plush that simply read "sweetie". 

"Aw Sugarplum" he smiled.

"Figured it fit since I called you that when we first met...And you eat candy like it's going out of style" I told him as he once again took my hand in his,laughing along with him.

"I love it" he smiled, eyes meeting mine with such a softness that made me stop walking, he had never looked at me like that, not in all the times he almost insisted on eye contact. My gaze didn't break from his, even as my brain took notice of his wings stretching out, seemingly avoiding everyone who walked around us while he brought them closer, the extremely soft looking feathers almost grazing my arms before a voice broke our trance. 

"Hello my children, would you like to play a round?" I looked behind me to see a nun, my eyes widening a bit at the sight, a nun at a carnival? Running a stand? My expression must have portrayed my thoughts because the nun let out a soft laugh before explaining.

"We are taking donations for the church, you can play for free and still win a prize though if you'd like" she explained.

"Oh!"

"Just toss a ball into a cup and win a prize," she added.

"Let's give it a shot" Gabriel nodded, the nun smiled and handed us both five balls, and we both found out that the game was a bit more difficult, and I realized that Gabriel wasn't using any of his abilities, it seems he kept things honest when it came to nuns. Soon I ran out of shots, and Gabriel was on his last one, I watched as he threw it and it bounced off of the edge of one cup before coming to rest inside another.

"Congratulations!" The nun applauded, smiling at Gabriel before adding.

"What would you like?" 

"I'll let this lovely lady pick something," he replied, smiling at me and earning a smile from the nun.

"How about that?" I asked, pointing towards a small golden chain necklace that held a pair of gold wings, I would be lying if I said the winged being beside wasn't the reason for wanting the necklace, but I just wouldn't let him know that. Though I noticed his expression turn slightly shocked. The nun smiled and turned to grab the necklace, while I grabbed some money from my wallet. When she went to hand me the necklace she stopped upon noticing the money.

"Oh my dear I couldn't" she stated, looking from the hundred dollar bill to me.

"Please, I insist" I told her, but when she still didn't reach to take it.

"I didn't go to church, but I was raised in the faith, bible teachings, rosary, watching Mother Angelica every night" I laughed.

"We need people who fight against all the darkness" added with a smile, her face softened and a smile graced her lips.

"Bless you my dear child, the church thanks you more than words can say"

"Thank you sister, just doing my part" I told her, taking the necklace as she handed it to me. We walked away from the booth before Gabriel stopped.

"Allow me?" He asked, motioning towards the necklace.

"Oh, thank you" I smiled, taking the plushes and handing him the necklace, he walked behind me and gently placed it around my neck before clasping it. 

"So, what made you choose that?" He asked, and I had to quickly think of something. No one had yet mentioned his wings so I still figured it was forbidden to talk about. 

"I've always loved angel wing images, and I like gold so" I shrugged with a chuckle. He simply nodded, his expression almost…Disappointed, sad? Whatever it was I didn't like seeing it. 

"Here ya go, Sweetie" I smiled, handing him the heart, earning a small smile as he looked at it.

"Come on" he stated, reaching for my hand and smiling more when my hand met him halfway. We made our way to the cotton candy vender, still looking around for a woman that fit our description. 

"So do we see anyone she would most likely go after?" He asked.

"Almost everyone here" I noted, looking at all the couples.

"We just have to look for couples with a man who has wandering eyes" I added.

"Why do you think she goes after unfaithful men, easy targets?" He asked

"That or she herself was screwed over by a guy" 

"So she's taking it out on any guy she can?"

"Maybe she sees it as saving these women from suffering the same way she did" 

"A little extreme" 

"Says the man who made a frat kid believe he was abducted by aliens"

"Dean-o told you about that? That was funny"

"Funny, but extreme" I laughed

"To each their own" he replied, sticking his tongue out before walking up to the vendor and buying the biggest bag of cotton candy.

"So...Can I ask why this case almost seems personal to you?" Gabriel asked hesitantly while he held the now opened bag out to me. Sighing I reached in and grabbed some.

"Like I said, it's a long boring stor-"

"We hope you two are having better luck" Sam's voice rang out behind me, spinning around. I noticed Sam still looking around but Dean eating his own bag of cotton candy.

"Want some?" He asked, holding the bag out. Opening my mouth to answer I heard a high pitched rumble come from beside me, one that was almost at a tone people wouldn't be able to hear, and after a moment I realized it was almost a sort of growl coming from...Gabriel?

"Na I'm good, Gabriel got us some, thanks though" I smiled before reaching into the bag Gabriel was holding and grabbing some of the candy. Another high pitched noise met my ears, this one more of a pleased hum. Dean simply shrugged and kept eating.

"No luck here, I haven't even seen a red head in this crowd" I told Sam.

"Looks like you've had some luck" a female voice stated, looking over I noticed Claire and Jody. Claire looked down at the giant wolf before looking at me with a raised brow.

"Gabe won it for me" I shrugged.

"So you two just have a date in the middle of a case?" She asked with a smirk.

"We are hoping it will draw her out" I told her, she nodded but the look on her face screamed "you sure about that?".

"Well there are plenty of victims to choose from" Jody stated while we all looked around at the couples.

"If only we knew who was willing to cheat" Sam sighed.

"Tell me about it" I sighed as well, reaching over to grab more cotton candy...Only to grab nothing. I looked over and noticed Gabriel was no longer beside me, quickly looking around I noticed him walking behind the wall and stage that were set up for a magic show that was held earlier in the day. 

"Gabriel?" I spoke, loud enough to catch everyone's attention.

"Where the hell is he going?" Dean asked before we all started walking towards where he went. We rounded the corner to see...Gabriel and a red headed woman kissing, his hands resting on her hips and hers on his shoulders. A flood of emotions washed over me, many that I never wanted to experience again.

"Well it's about time you showed up" I stated, not even trying to hide the anger in my voice, I didn't know why I was feeling it so strongly, but I was, and it was annoying. I quickly tossed the wolf onto a nearby bench that I had noticed Gabriel left the heart and pulled out my gun, which luckily, held witch killing bullets. We watched as they slowly broke apart, before she turned to look at me.

"You really have gone downhill with your tastes Gabriel, you had me, and now you're with some human hunter trash? Pity" 

"Wait...you two?" Sam asked

"Were together, once upon a time yes, though Gabriel has always been the wild one of his family, never staying in place for too long, took me awhile to track him down" 

"Great, two exes in two weeks" I stated with an eye roll.

"Which one was it?" She asked, turning in his arms so her back was against his chest, his arms still around her.

"He had so many, I got rid of quite a few myself" she added

"If he has such a long list why do you want to be with him?" I asked.

"I could ask you the same thing" she snapped before looking over her shoulder at him.

"He made me feel wanted" I didn't like the feeling that was burning in my chest, seemingly wanting to claw its way out as I watched them look at each other, I wanted her away, far away, and that feeling was very new to me.

"But like I said, I've gotten rid of many of his exs already, a little human won't be so hard" she stated, throwing her hand up just as I felt my body being lifted and thrown backwards. I could hear the others yell beside me as they too were thrown, the wind rushed past as I felt a warmth wrap around my back, my body slamming into a steel pole but not feeling any of the impact, almost as if I had an airbag around me. I fell to the ground with a thud, my vision going blurry for a moment, I watched her drag Gabriel along as I tried to regain breath.

"Should have expected that" Dean groaned before I felt someone help me up.

"You ok?" Jody asked

"Yeah I think so" I told her, taking a deep breath and looking around.

"Where did they go?" 

"I saw them go that way" Claire pointed towards all the fun houses that sat at the very end of the fairgrounds.

"Let's go," Dean called, already running forward, we all set off, stopping once we got to the funhouses, all three of them.

"Sam you go with Jody and Claire, I'll take this one, Liz you take that one" Dean instructed, being met with no objections we all took off. I slowly stepped into the mirror maze, my gun at the ready. 

"I always hated these things" I sighed, using one hand to feel around for where I was supposed to go.

"Poor little hunter" her voice rang out, echoing off of the mirrors.

"You know what one of my powers are? I can see your past, what traumas have cut you and left scars"

"That's nice, do you want a cookie?" I snapped.

"Aww she acts brave, but is she really? Or does she just put up that front to cover the real truth?" I found myself in a large room that was completely encompassed in mirrors, and as I looked around I noticed her reflection in one, I quickly fired and watched as the glass broke to reveal nothing.

"The real truth that she's just a prude" another mirror, another shot.

"Ugly" another mirror, another shot.

"Dimwitted" another mirror, another shot.

"Pathetic excuse for a woman who will eventually die alone" another mirror, another shot, this time though, when it shattered it revealed an open door that led out into the woods that stood behind the fair. Bolting forward I quickly entered the woods, stopping once I got a little ways in, I listened for any sign of movement, my gun at the ready, I only had one bullet left. Just as I heard footsteps behind me I felt arms wrap around mine, pulling them back and restraining me. I tried to move but it felt like I was fighting against a boulder, looking back I was met with those honey eyes, now darker, like any trace of Gabriel was gone.

"Gabe" I spoke, but he didn't respond.

"Neat little trick huh? Something I have been perfecting, makes him do whatever I want"

"Let him go" I spoke through gritted teeth.

"Oh no can do little girl, see this one is the one that I'm not going to let away again. Now that I finally perfected the spell, he's mine forever" 

"The other men, they-"

"Were they just test subjects? Yes, though they were highly useful test subjects. Had to start out with hex bags first, then the better I got, well.."

"You ruined lives!"

"Oh boo hoo, you of all people should know how fickle human men can be, don't give them what they want and they'll find it someplace else. Why do you think I like my men to be a bit more...Supernatural" she smiled, stopping her circling and halting beside me. She leaned over and started kissing Gabriel again, my anger beginning to bubble over once more, but it quickly turned into that familiar hurt when I realized-he was kissing her back. I turned my head, my eyes landing on my gun which lay at my feet.

"Now Gabriel, be a good boy...Kill her" she stated, backing away, and I stumbled forward, landing on my hands and knees when Gabriel pushed me away. I turned around, gazing up at him as he slowly made his way forward, towering over me. His eyes never left mine, even as he kicked my gun, causing it to skid to a halt beside me. I could still hear her talking behind him, telling him to get it over with already, and I watched as he stopped at my feet.

"Gabe...I don't wanna hurt you" I told him, slowly reaching for my gun, if nothing else I would shoot him in the shoulder, maybe that would break the spell, even if it would take my last bullet.

"Get on with it!" She shouted.

"Sweetie" I spoke, watching as a blue light took over his eyes for a moment before I noticed his wings stretch out when he stood taller, rolling his shoulders back.

"Gabe?" I whispered, his eyes snapped back to mine, the honey color back to being golden instead of dark. He mouthed a word, and it took me a moment to realize what he was saying.

One

Two

Three! He dove down as I lifted my gun and shot, watching as it hit the witch right between the eyes, she stumbled back, before slowly falling to the ground. I sighed, looking over at Gabriel who had landed on the ground next to me.

"Nice shot," he said with a small smile.

"Please tell me you weren't just playing along that whole time" I told him

"No Sugarplum, I really wasn't in control of myself-I didn't hurt you did I?" He asked, sitting up and looking me over.

"Na I'm fine, I was just wondering, because if you were, I was gonna shoot you in the foot" wide eyes met mine as I gave him an unimpressed look.

"You wouldn't"

"I would"

"...do you have bullets?"

"Be glad I don't" I replied, causing him to sigh and put his head on my shoulder.

"So how many crazy exs am I gonna have to fight?" I asked while looking at the limp body.

"You gonna fight my exs off me?" He asked, peeking up at me before letting out a slight laugh.

"Hopefully no more"

"Hopefully" I nodded just as I noticed the group running towards us. 

"What the hell happened?" Dean asked, looking between us and the body.

"Gabriel was under the spell, I chased them out here, he broke free and I shot her" I shrugged, Gabriel lifting his head from my shoulder.

"So what do we do now?" Claire asked, looking at the body.

"We'll get rid of...this" Sam said motioning towards the body.

"Claire, why don't you and Jody make sure no one heard any gunshots?" Dean said, the girls nodded and turned to leave, but not before Jody turned to me.

"Thank you"

"All in a day's work" I smiled back, taking Gabriel's hand as he helped me up.

"Need help?" I asked the boys, gesturing towards the body.

"We got it," Sam smiled.

"You go enjoy the rest of the fair, we'll meet you back at the motel" Dean thumbed back towards the festivities.

"You sure?" 

"Yeah, go on"

"Ok, I'll see y'all back at the motel" I smiled, taking Gabriel's hand and walking back towards the fair.

"Wait" he stopped before we got into the eyesight of the crowds, I watched as he disappeared and reappeared with the sound of his wings. He smiled as he handed me the wolf plush, holding onto the stuffed heart. I thanked him as I took it before he took my free hand and walked us into the crowd that seemed unknowing of what just happened not too far away.

"So, what else do you want to do?" He asked, looking over at me. I thought for a moment, looking around at everything before my eyes landed on a certain ride.

"The ferris wheel" I stated, watching as a smile graced his lips.

"Your wish is my command" he replied, leading me towards the ride.

"Let's not" I laughed, earning a raised brow from him.

"You shouldn't be under anyone's command, you're your own person, you should do what you want to do" I told him while we waited in line.

"Very well" he nodded

"But I want to take you on to the ferris wheel" he added with a laugh, earning a laugh from me as well. We climbed into our cart and waited for the ride to start, looking over at the night sky while we waited. 

"So...can I ask you something?" He asked after a moment.

"Bout what?" I asked, meeting his gaze.

"The things Cassandra said, in the mirror room, and in the woods-about fickle men"

"...Only if you tell me how come you and her split" I replied while we started to ascend.

"She was right when she said I used to be the type that never stuck around long, we had a thing, for a while, but she got possessive"

"Thought you liked possessive?" I smirked, referring to his reaction in the car earlier when I said I wouldn't share what was mine.

"There are two types, the get off my man only I can touch him like that...can be hot...But she was the controlling type...like remember how you said you would never tell a guy what he could or couldn't do...she was that type"

"Oh, the toxic kind" 

"Yeah, so I bolted"

"I don't blame you for that"

"So what about those things she said," he said after a moment. 

"A while back, about six years ago, three years after I started hunting, I met a guy. I had only slightly dated a few guys in my teens years, but here I was, twenty-one, and this guy came along...and at first seemed great. Remember how I said I wasn't "that kind of girl", that's because I'm waiting til I'm married to have sex...he didn't like that. What started out a good relationship turned into him getting angry when I wouldn't have sex with him...those things Cassandra said...Were things he would call me-Our relationship ended when I found out he cheated on me." 

"Between him, and my dad leaving my mom for a younger girl after twenty five years of marriage...I don't trust many guys" I told him, hugging the wolf tighter as I remembered everything, but that warm feeling I had felt for a second when I almost hit the pole earlier washed over me again, and I found myself turning to look at Gabriel before I even realized it. 

"No offence, but it sounds like you dated boys, not men" he smirked, referencing what I told him in the morgue on our first case. 

"I suppose your right" I laughed

"If it means anything, your ex is a complete idiot, and if you want I can totally make him think he got abducted by aliens" he smirked

"With slow dancing?" I asked, a smirk of my own.

"Hells yeah! Maybe even to My heart will go on" he replied causing us both to laugh.

"Can I ask you one more thing?" I asked.

"Shoot sweetcheeks" 

"When she threw us, I didn't hit the pole as hard as I should have...You were fighting the spell even then weren't you?"

"Yeah, when I saw her in the crowd I realized she was the witch we were looking for so I went to confront her, that's when she kissed me, and that's when the spell took hold, but I was fighting it the whole time"

"Well thank you, for fighting"I told him, leaning against his shoulder.

"Always Sugar" he stated, wrapping his arm around my shoulder as we both enjoyed the rest of the ride.

And there is part 2! I hope everyone enjoyed it! Let me know what you think and stay tuned for chapter 3!

If you would like to be added to the taglist let me know

Taglist

@sydknee624 @studentdoctorstark @ilearnedthatfromethepizzaman @ambivertedcroissant @sunny-shine44

[leverage-ot3]

notable moments from The Second David Job

leverage 1.13

parker AND eliot were both using lil flip notepads when they were casing the museum

- - - - -

they were apart for three months. THREE!!! MONTHS!!!

- - - - -

the whole scene where parker, hardison, eliot and sophie are casing the place and just narrowly missing each other until it all blows up in their faces? BIG doctor who vibes from the episode where donna and the doctor keep barely missing each other until they see each other through the windows and get caught

- - - - -

aww the last dammit hardison of the season

- - - - -

(Hardison drops his helmet as he rounds a corner, followed by two guards)

Hardison (to Eliot): Help me.

Eliot: I got you.

Hardison: Help me, help me!

(Eliot grabs Hardison’s arm and flips him, then gestures to the other guards)

Eliot: I got it.

Eliot: All right, check one floor up. I think I saw another guy dressed just like this one.

Guard: Got it.

Guard 5: Let’s go.

Eliot: Move! (pushes Hardison into the elevator)

Hardison: I'm gonna kick your butt.

Eliot (pushes Hardison): Stand over there!

Hardison: I'm gonna kick your butt

🥰 chaotic boyfriends 🥰

- - - - -

(Sophie walks toward the doors. Parker drops down in front of her)

Parker: Oh! W- Where did you --

Parker: Run now. Talk later

- - - - -

sophie took off her heels to run

- - - - -

okay but I NEED THAT SCENE OF ELIOT, HARDISON, AND PARKER SQUISHED INTO THE BACK SEAT OF NATE’S CAR AS THEY SPEED AWAY, HAVING NOT SEEN EACH OTHER FOR THE PAST THREE MONTHS

- - - - -

Hardison: How'd you know we'd be there?

Nate: Last week before the exhibit opens, security almost in place, but not fully staffed. Best time to case the joint. Plus, I did chase all of you at one point or another.

- - - - -

Eliot: Is she in on this?

Sophie: "She" can hear you, okay?

Hardison: Wait a minute. There is no "this," Eliot.

Parker: Sophie did come back for me.

(Nate walks over to the table, which is covered in plans)

Eliot: Wouldn't have had to if she wouldn't have lied to you.

Hardison: No calls for three months. I don't need you people.

Parker: What do you mean, you don’t need us?

Sophie: I’m sorry, I seem to remember a certain job with horses where I backed your play, actually.

Eliot: I don't care! You don't con your crew!

(the four of them begin arguing, talking over each other. Nate whistles to get their attention)

parker immediately backing sophie up? we love a trusting daughter

hardison acting all dismissive and parker IMMEDIATELY calling him out? amazing

eliot having trust issues? we’re sad to see it but not surprised at all lol

- - - - -

Nate: Glen-Reeder security system here.

Parker: And that's not the worst of it. (walks over to table)

Nate: Hmm?

Parker: The Davids are under bulletproof glass on a motion-Detector pad.

Nate: Really?

(the others join them, Nate takes a step back)

Parker: Mm-Hmm.

Sophie: Environmentally sealed…

Nate: Really.

Sophie: …kept at a constant temperature and humidity in the case. I saw them working on the airflow.

(Nate walks away, no one notices)

THE FAMILY BACK TOGETHER AGAIN

- - - - -

Nate: Why'd you come back? We agreed to scatter for six months. All of you–all of you—made an amateur move being there.

Parker: It's too hard to leave a job undone. It's like an itch.

Hardison: I put a lot of work into us, into that office. It was like my second home. I blew up my second home.

Eliot: As annoying as you people are, I quit this crew when I quit this crew. Nobody makes me leave.

Sophie: I just, I really wanted to hurt Sterling.

THEYRE A FAMILY, YOUR HONOR

- - - - -

eliot smiled when nate said he taunted them bc:

1. fuck with sterling at all costs,

2. typical nate, and

3. he MISSED THIS

ALSO

hardison and sophie look exhausted and annoyed when nate said he told them he was going to steal it. meanwhile, parker and eliot fucking smile because yeah, get on their level. they Get It™

- - - - -

the team sitting around the table like old times ,,,

ALSO hardison’s worktable tho,,, half eaten bag of chips, empty bottle of orange soda, mini basketball, etc. we love to see how this man works

- - - - -

Sophie: Hey, I think the roof's the way in, but it looks like they've rigged alarm sensors to the skylights.

Parker: I can get around those.

Eliot: Really? And end up on one of the new 20 cameras they got down there from our last little trip to the basement?

Parker: That was fun.

Hardison: Yeah. Could we talk about that?

Parker: Talk about what?

hardison: can we talk about the kiss or ???

parker and eliot are sitting next to each other :)

also eliot is wearing flannel now and we love to see it

- - - - -

Eliot: How'd we miss that?

Nate: Grifter, hitter, hacker, thief. You were all trying to solve your version of the crime instead of just trying to solve the crime. There was a reason we worked together.

- - - - -

Parker: What about Maggie?

parker likes maggie

+

Parker: Okay, look, you always have a plan "b," right? So, fine. Without Maggie, what's the plan "b"?

MASTERMIND PARKER IN SEASON ONE

- - - - -

Nate: You know, I had to ask her out 10 times before we even got a coffee --

Eliot: Coffee? I would love to. Yeah. What time--? In an hour? I, yeah, I would love to. Let me write down where you want to go. I know exactly where that place is at. All right. I'm looking forward to it. (hangs up)

Nate: Yeah, all right -- No.

Eliot: She probably just really wants some hot coffee.

Nate: Shut up!

Eliot: It's not like a date. (pulls his hair back)

Nate: Are you kidding me? You're fixing your hair?

Eliot: Because I’m playing the professor Sinclair dude!

maggie’s thirst + nate ready to die LMFAO

- - - - -

parker, hardison and sophie watching the button cam footage like a soap opera (sophie is literally eating gummy bears lmfao)

- - - - -

(Parker, Eliot and Hardison sit on the stairs as Maggie and Nate stand in the dining room, arguing)

Eliot: I feel used.

lmao poor eliot. although we love to see the ot3 sitting together as a unit

- - - - -

eliot using a tight alias and then using his real phone number? big dumbass energy

- - - - -

Nate: So we replace the rebar, reinforce the concrete, with any luck, they'll never know what hit 'em. And that, that's the plan.

Maggie: You actually expect this to work?

Nate: Um…

Hardison: No, no, you're supposed to say, "wow. That's just crazy enough to work."

Sophie: Incredibly, chance does seem to bend itself to his bizarre machinations.

Parker (whispers): That's his superpower. (smells Maggie)

in this house we love and respect maggie

also dnjsjsjjdnsn under the cork boards there are two (2) big cases of orange soda and beer for eliot

+ now parker is wearing a very pretty flannel that I want

- - - - -

Maggie: I have to check museum inventory.

Nate: Oh. Easy.

(Nate looks at Hardison, who types on a laptop, then shows monitor to Maggie)

Maggie: This is confidential. (takes laptop) You're not reading my e-mails, are you?

Hardison: No. No.

(Maggie looks down at the laptop. Hardison nods to Nate while she’s not looking)

LMFAO

- - - - -

Sophie: Okay, why don't you run up to him? Being just a little bit out of breath, it changes the speech rhythms—

[Blackpoole Gallery]

Sophie: --makes it harder to detect a lie.

(Maggie passes Parker, taking Lloyd’s phone, and starts to run)

Maggie: Lloyd!

[Mansion Dining Room]

Hardison: See? Like that right there. It's informative.

Eliot: You learn and you con

it’s true, your honor

- - - - -

Nate: Okay. What's he found?

Hardison: Oh. Well, looky here. Dr. Ernst Volk, University of Berlin, dead. Dr. Schliemann, London museum, dead. Oh. Oh, and also the three guys that actually discovered the tomb. Eliot, what does that say?

Eliot: It says "dead."

Hardison: D-E-D, dead, baby.

Eliot and Nate: D-E-A-D.

Hardison: I-I know how to-- I was throwing a little style on it, Just a little bit, a little style. I know how to spell "dead," damn it. I can steal a bank, I can spell "dead. (annoyedly drinks orange soda)

give him a break pls

- - - - -

Sophie: Wrap it up now, Maggie. You're doing great.

THEY HAVE CHEMISTRY

john rogers said that they had a fling in canon (I’m thinking during sophie’s absence in season two) and bless his soul for giving that to us

- - - - -

Eliot: You need something?

Sophie: I was just trying to make myself useful.

Eliot: Yeah, well, last time you tried that, we had to blow up the office.

Sophie: That's not fair.

Eliot: I was just getting used to it.

Sophie: What? Having an office?

Eliot: Being part of a team.

Sophie: Look, I didn't mean, you know, it wasn't supposed to go down like that.

(Parker walks in and tosses a bag on the floor near Eliot)

Parker: What's going on?

Eliot: Sophie here was just trying to apologize.

(Hardison carries the painting into the room)

Sophie: No, I wasn't.

Parker: She tried that with me earlier. She kind of sucks at it.

Eliot: A little bit.

Hardison: Oh, did she give you the speech about how we're thieves and about how this is what thieves do and if we were in her shoes, we'd have done the same thing?

Eliot: No, I think she was just getting to that part.

(Eliot puts the part he was working on down and stands up)

Eliot: You apologized to him first, huh? Why am I last?

Sophie: I wasn't apologizing. I...

Eliot: That's the problem.

Sophie: I just wanted to see if w-we… we were all okay with each other.

Eliot: Okay. There it is.

Parker: I forgive you.

Hardison: Apology accepted.

Eliot: Yeah.

they give sophie shit but they still love her

also eliot is such a sap he misses the office and even admits that he liked having a team what a SOFTIE

- - - - -

Geary: Pictures have been distributed. We're scanning every guest that comes into the museum.

Sterling: Eliot Spencer?

Geary: Eliot Spencer, (referencing files) wanted in five countries, including Myanmar—

(Eliot walks behind Geary and Sterling, pausing to listen for a moment as they walk away from him)

Geary: --which is offering a half-million-dollar bounty on his head.

Sterling: Bringing Spencer to justice and getting paid for it? It's icing on the cake.

(Geary and Sterling get into an elevator)

[Museum Lobby]

(Geary and Sterling walk out of the elevator)

Sterling: Parker?

Geary: Parker. Wanted in nine countries, including Brazil and Yemen.

Sterling: Yeah, tough choice. I'll have to flip a coin.

(Parker is working in the gift shop of the lobby, watching them walk by)

Sterling: How about Sophie Devereaux?

Geary: England, France, Spain, Luxembourg -- Europe, basically.

Sterling: France. Wonderful shopping, horrifying prisons.

(they walk past Sophie, who stifles a laugh)

[Mechanical Room]

(Hardison turns on a light on his hat, opening a panel and attaching clips)

Sterling: Alec Hardison.

Geary: Well, he better not show his face in Iceland

I LOVED THIS MONTAGE

also we love to learn more about the team

- - - - -

on hardison’s phone when it shows their synchronized countdowns, he has himself down as “big h”

- - - - -

Ian: Conspiracy to commit robbery is what, five years? Catching him in the act, 20.

- - - - -

nate rappelled in this one!

- - - - -

nate snatching the gun right out of blackpool’s hand? eliot taught him that and you CANNOT change my mind.

- - - - -

Ian: Maggie!

(Ian walks over to Maggie, followed by Nate and Sterling)

Ian: Well, you understand –

(Maggie punches Ian in the face. He falls to the floor)

Maggie: Screw therapy. That felt really good. (walks away)

we stan a QUEEN

- - - - -

Sterling: Of course, you know your entire plan depended on me being a self-serving, utter bastard.

Nate: Hmm. Yeah, that's a stretch.

(Nate hands Sterling the gun and heads for the door)

Sterling: I'll call you when it's done.

Nate: You do that

- - - - -

(the team stands in a circle, dressed for travelling)

Nate: Thank you, all of you. You surprised me.

Eliot: We had a good run.

Hardison: It's a good time to move on.

Parker: I'm going somewhere... else.

Sophie: A fresh start.

Nate: We made a difference. Remember that.

Hardison (to Parker): Where you going?

Parker: Let's see how hard you look.

(the team separates reluctantly, each going a different direction. They all pause for a long moment, then the screen goes to black)

parker and hardison are still cute, parker is about to cry, hardison and eliot look very sad and almost tearing up, and sophie is actually crying

also hardison was the last one to turn around and that’s so in character it hurts my heart

+ the ot3 were each wearing leather jackets (plus eliot wearing a hoodie underneath = bix2)

I hate the scenes when they split up and the producers said that they ended every season as if that was final anD B O Y IF I HAD TO WATCH THAT AND HAVE IT BE THE END I WOULD HAVE R I O T E D

[myhockeyworld87]

Also regarding my take on big O and lil O and the hand gestures - I saw a vid where a step child called their step dad bestfriend bc he was always there for her and idk I just big amazing step dad adoptive dad vibes from rig bc he’ll be the best ride or die dad no matter how he’s your dad and I just think it’s bc I want him to father my children no matter how we get them

Oh I think Jamie would be amazing with kids! That video of him decorating cookies is just 🥰 And he would be an amazing Stepdad as well. Helping teach your kid hockey or basketball or whatever sport you child loves. Though secretly he’s pushing him to get on the ice. He’s there for everything as long as his schedule permits, and when it doesn’t you must video everything or FaceTime him. He doesn’t want to miss a minute! Always posting them on his Insta even though he doesn’t post much of himself, he’s his too much of a proud dad not too!

[elle-eedee]

dcom daddies: ranked

whats up sluts i’m here to give you the content you did NOT know you needed: a foolproof algorithmic ranking of a mild selection of disney channel dads!

beast (descendants)

hotness scale: extremely tall (over a foot taller than me! this is Very Important to the scale) and he seems to be a mere thread’s width away from Unhinged at all times, which i love. i also think it’s very sexy of him to still have such a monstrous way about himself (what with the roaring and the growling) 20something years post-curse.... makes me wonder very vividly if such energies carry to the b*droom........ *clears throat* 10/10

quality of character scale: it eternally amuses me that beast seems to learn almost Nothing over the course of this trilogy. he’s literally pro-isle the ENTIRE time jsjdndjdjd..... not great considering it puts him directly at odds with his son (and, like, with social progress) but he Does seem to act the way he does with the kingdom’s safety in mind! plus when he’s not accidentally supporting magical fascism he’s super dorky. i love his goofy dance moves 7.5/10

total score: 17.5/20...... with this score alone you can tell this system isnt rigged bc if i had it my way he’d be winning

hades (descendants)

hotness scale: i hate his party city clown wig but i’m a total sucker for guys in makeup (EVEN THOUGH A DECENT SHADE OF LIPSTICK WOULD HAVE BROUGHT HIS ENSEMBLE TOGETHER. WHY DID THEY PROPOSE IT ON THE CHARACTER DESIGN WALL IF THEY WERENT GONNA FOLLOW THROUGH!!!) and i think the fact that hes Very Sleepy and doesnt own a dog makes him my dream guy 9.5/10

quality of character scale: he literally sings a song about how cool he thinks it is that he’s a shitty dad............ but he DOES come through when his kid needs him, so that’s nice i guess. i would have liked to see more of him but i’ll settle for reading and writing intricate fan works that delve into a hypothetical personality for him that’s mainly conjecture 7.25/10

total score: 16.75/20 i wanna see him in some preppy auradon clothes

jafar (descendants)

hotness scale: i wish i had nicer things to say about this man. he just....... bears so little resemblance to the original jafar it makes me :( maybe if he was more gangly, or if he carried himself w the same potent gay energy that og jafar has? itd also help it he wasnt a racist caricature. 4.5/10

quality of character scale: again, very much a racist caricature. jafar doesnt steal!!! why would This be what he chose to do with himself! but he does seem to be, perhaps, the least bad of the core four’s parents, which counts for something i suppose. 3/10

total score: 7.5/20 sorry bud

dr facilier (descendants)

hotness scale: listen. it’s dr facilier. what am i supposed to do, NOT give him a perfect score on the sexy scale? 10/10

quality of character scale: he just loves his daughter and wants to make sure she’s getting what’s hers!!!!! his dynamic with celia makes me really happy they seem so fun! though i guess you could argue it sucks that he’d send his darling babey dohter to do errands for big mean scary hades considering that Everyone on the isle seems to quake at the sight of him. but im sure facilier only does that to ensure that celia can hold her own! 8/10

total score: 18/20 and it’d probably be higher if we’d seen more of him

mr smee (descendants)

hotness scale: not only does this man fuck, judging by the ages of his kids he fucked RECENTLY. get it baby live your truth 7/10

quality of character scale: he seems to be SO kind and sweet to his baby sons..... holding their little hands and such!!! and judging by how nervous the kids are i’d imagine it was primarily smee’s idea for them to go to auradon. extremely noble sacrifice for their benefit even though he’ll miss them 10/10!!!!!

total score: 17/20 i want to kiss his hand, if he’ll have me

zevon necrodopolous (zombies)

hotness scale: every time i look at this man i think of this post. he’s the perfect amount of frumpy for my tastes and his voice is so unique!!!!! i’d let his z-band malfunction so he could *** ** ***** * ******* **** 9/10

quality of character scale: really really cares about his kids and wants them to be safe!! he raises his voice once which im not a huge fan of but i suppose it was justified given the circumstances. also that shot of him goofing about with d*le in the end scene shows remarkable capacity for forgiveness after decades of trauma and discrimination! what a guy. 9/10

total score: 18/20 an absolute dilf!!!!!

dale (zombies)

hotness scale: looks like an uncrustable. 0/10

quality of character scale: a fucking cop. die bitch! 0/10

total score: 0/20 get in since you wanna act clown

coach jack bolton (high school musical)

hotness scale: honestly pretty young for my tastes. and i literally Always swipe left on athletes, so..... fine looking, but not for me. 5/10

quality of character scale: obviously he grows as the series progresses but i feel like jack is Always in the way of troy getting what he wants, which sucks. i like that he’s kinda goofy on his off hours with his family exactly as much as i Hate how much he yells when hes on the job. i do wish we lived in the timeline where he and miss darbus actually had that duet about their disagreements, though. 5/10

total score: 10/20 truly an Average dcom daddy

vance evans (high school musical)

hotness scale: due to personal reasons i will be having bad taste. however, this man’s fashion sense in IMPECCABLE. i mean, the colors??? the unbuttoned collar???? come on now. there is also the gratuitous use of the d-word to consider......................... anyways 7.5/10

quality of character scale: it’s hard to tell how much of his interest in furthering troy’s career is out of sincerity and how much of it is sharpay nudging him. but either way the result is a man who supports his daughter unconditionally! he could be nicer to ryan, though (plus he’s an evil capitalist) 6/10

total score: 13.5/20 i feel like he and fulton have had Relations

mr gifford (lemonade mouth)

hotness scale: listen, i’m a simple guy. i see a basic-looking man pursuing age gap romance in the midst of a mid-life crisis, i support him unconditionally. also i am just Really vibing with that oversized denim shirt on him!!! there’s an egregious amount of arm hair poking out that just works. good for him! and this is a small moment but i’m very flustered over his natural Touchy Feely instinct after wen pokes out his eye... however: man has no eyebrows. 8.5/10

quality of character scale: i’m not a child of divorce so i don’t know how this stuff works, but i feel like he springs a lot of major decisions on wen? not ideal. on the other hand, we DO stan that he has sydney move in before they’re married. this is not a christian home!!!! 6/10

total score: 14.5/20 probably my favorite lemonade mouth dad, but mostly because he’s like the only one paid any attention by the narrative

mr banjaree (lemonade mouth)

hotness scale: men really have beautifully sculpted noses and we just let them, huh. i’m definitely overusing the word Handsome in this list, but in this case? i’m justified. mr banjaree’s beard suits him SO well and his hair looks so soft...... and we love the implicit cleanliness of a man who wears socks in the house! 8/10

quality of character scale: i super SUPER dont agree with this man’s Smothering-Adjacent Methods (and also i know firsthand that strict parentage just drives kids to be more rebellious, lmao) but all things considered he really just wants the best for his family PLUS he’s willing to meet mo halfway at the end! :’) 6/10

total score: 14/20 the way i feel about him is the way i feel when i get crushes on pastors in that You Are Complicit In My Trauma But We’re Gonna Kiss About It way

mr delgado (lemonade mouth)

hotness scale: OOOOH GLASSES! 5/10

quality of character scale: it’s sort of implied that the Wacko Energies of charlie’s family are mostly the fault of his mom so it’s cool of this man to distance himself from that. he is, of course, still complicit in Whatever The Hell Her Deal Is unless he is constantly fighting with her offscreen 6/10

total score: 11/20 would have loved to see more of him

mr yamada (lemonade mouth)

hotness scale: another chapter in the saga of unbuttoned collars! doesn’t get a lot of opportunities to show off his strengths but i appreciate that he is not the thinnest dad in town 6.5/10

quality of character scale: WOW fuck this guy. very dismissive of stella’s aspirations!!!!! i don’t like that he feels the need to talk Over her to her mom when he’s asking about her vegetarianism. dude she is right there.... however it’s a lil touching when he holds her guitar up at the end, so... 4/10?

total score: 10.5/20 *thinks about his slightly protruding tummy in his last scene* *thinks about his slightly protruding tummy in his last scene* *thi

bob duncan (good luck charlie: it’s christmas!)

hotness scale: in keeping this Specific to the feature-length xmas special, i will say that bob duncan is QUITE handsome! disappointed that he was wearing a shirt in the scene at the pool.... ill bet if this movie came out post-workout/makeover he’d have been shirtless >:/ i feel robbed... spare tummy, sir? spare tummy? additionally i love a man who rolls up his sleeves AND a man who stans kaiju movies!! also i love that he, quite literally, canonically fucks 8.5/10

quality of character scale: he’s about as charmingly incompetent as he is in the show, but the difference here is that he literally did not do a damn thing wrong! all he wanted to do was be civil with his inlaws and he frankly deserves MUCH better. its clear from his banter with the kids that he loves them very much (also i love how frequently he feels the need to jump/dive for things in this movie. silly slapstick icon) 8.75/10

total score: 17.25/20 this man’s mere presence oozes nostalgia

jerry russo (wizards of waverly place: the movie)

hotness scale: this man was MADE for me. the bottomless collection of hawaiian shirts....... the TWO tummy out scenes..........the fucked up evil thing his voice does when the kids try to steal the spellbook!!! he really has it all. also i love that he is truly just trying to have some beach intercourse 9/10

quality of character scale: i love that even when he doesn’t remember the kids he still maintains a little dadly rapport with them? the instincts...... it’s also incredibly good of him to relive his decision to give up his magic without hesitation once he realizes the severity of the situation :’0 10/10

total score: 19/20 i’ve never seen an episode of the show but im really about to start

neil morris (dadnapped)

hotness scale: handsome....... mr morris makes me feel simultaneously like a sapiosexual AND a morosexual because although he completed enough schooling to become a dentist, he also threw it away for a writing career like an absolute champ. also i find it unbelievably charming how Along For The Ride he is about the idea of being kidnapped. a man after my own heart 8.25/10

quality of character scale: this is a tricky one...... neil DOES show active concern for his daughter’s safety when push comes to shove, but he also has my least favorite type of redemption arc: “you THOUGHT i was neglecting you, but actually i was thinking about you the whole time and just never expressed it! we good?” so like. bleh. but he’s pretty mild mannered which i deeply appreciate in a man! 6.5/10

total score: 14.75/20 maybe talk to your daughter instead of writing a macgyver ripoff, dumbass

major joe mason (princess protection program)

hotness scale: prime dad bod, very believable for his line of work. also he has such a Gentle Way about himself when he’s around princesses....... i love all the hand holding when he’s escorting rosie. absolutely my type 8.75/10

quality of character scale: gosh.... where do i even BEGIN!!! his whole dynamic with carter is so ideal... i was apprehensive at first because his job would require him to be Absent a lot of the time, but upon reflection it’s clear that he’s raised carter well enough that he can totally trust her to be on her own, and also she’s only sad to see him go because she sincerely enjoys his company. everything about his profession is so noble and i love the way he can carry himself as casually or as politely as a given situation calls for. worst thing he does is say “i might have to stop calling you ‘pal’” because his daughter is wearing a pretty dress. i wish he was my dad but i’ll settle for him being my husband 9.75/10

total score: 18.5/20 i almost made a ppp self insert this morning specifically for Him

ted thompson (zapped)

hotness scale: athletes arent sexy!! this guy’s face screams The Only Websites I Know How To Use Are Facebook And Reddit and also he’s a dog person BUT he is sporting quite the tumbey if i do say so myself and for that i shall let him live. 4/10

quality of character scale: ok i know the whole point of this movie is Boys Bad but i hate men who are loud and i hate dads who get Weird about the inherent femininity of their daughters. when he calls zoey “sport” and then cringes like he’s made a mistake? dumb and unnecessary. HOWEVER all of his efforts to bond with zoey are really really sincere. like when he fixes her music box? that has NOTHING to do with the app he just Does It!!!! the movey mightve rubbed off on me a little too much but there are multiple ways to show love and just bc im not used to his way doesnt mean it has no worth! 6/10

total score: 10/20 mr thompson sir im sorry i doubted you at the start of the film

rob adams (radio rebel)

hotness scale: this man dresses 5-10 years younger than he looks and i respect that for him. but i was expecting him to be a bit more of a slimeball considering how tara talks about him in the opening scene... and you guys know how much i love slimeballs. regardless, pretty handsome! 6.5/10

quality of character scale: it’s nice that he goes to such a Public and Corporate effort to connect to his stepdaughter! even if it’s in a way that financially benefits him, it’s pretty clear that he cares about this family and wants to do right by them. nothing exceptional, though 7/10

total score: 13.5/20 i GUESS i’d be down to smash if he asked

ralph bartlett (read it and weep)

hotness scale: ok i was gonna say something mean about the fact that he’s balding but honestly he has really nice arms........ in addition he’s really quirky and optimistic which i am going to admire into my grave!! when he gets excited about having customers during the finale his voice quirks with an almost charlie day-esque charm. handsome. ALSO he calls jamie “princess” which is!!!!!!! something 7.5/10

quality of character scale: the way ralph parents his kids is Very 2000s in that he kinda babies his daughter but gets to pal around with his son, but i guess both dynamics come from a place of love and he could be doing much worse. plus he’s an honest hardworking small business owner! i support him 7/10

total score: 14.5/20 i would definitely go out for pizza with him

dr james hartley (how to build a better boy)

hotness scale: THIS. THIS IS WHAT DCOM DADDIES ARE ALL ABOUT. gosh..... this is truly the Most dad ive ever seen in my life. i love how his hair is always mussed..... how he’s so Desperate to relax that he falls asleep after Fifteen Seconds of smooth jazz..... and also. like. hes a scientist?? hello??? pretty sexy of him. i want to give this man the relaxation he deserves 10/10

quality of character scale: ok so,,,...,, kinda fucked up that he lied to his whole family (with the possible exception of his wife—sidenote, WHY did they make dr hartley married? his wife never comes up except when bart says she’s out of town. let him be single so i can slide into those dms) and EXTRA kinda fucked up that he works for the government? what a scab. BUT it’s very very clear that he cares about his kids (and gabby) and prioritizes their safety above all else! also, did you SEE how happy he was when mae won homecoming queen....... he loves her so so so much! :’0 8.5/10

total score: 18.5/20 i thirst tweeted about this man and roger bart replied ‘Aw, thanks!’ so i dont know where to go from here

[your-iron-lung]

The Unsolved Chapter

aka, the crossover absolutely no one asked for; also available to read on AO3 

Story Synopsis:  While investigating what remains of the infamous Léry’s Memorial Institute for their popular channel, two Youtube celebrity ghost hunters go missing overnight, vanishing in a freak occurrence that has decided to lay claim to their souls.

While the world they were abruptly taken from grieves their absences and tries to figure out what befell the beloved comical duo, Ryan and Shane struggle to make sense of the new, terrible and violent reality they've woken up in. Drawn to a campfire that never seems to burn out, they meet others who have been condemned to the same, eternal fate and are forcibly taught how to survive in an attempt to keep their collective hope and souls alive.

Part 1 of 5

Chapter Word Count: 6031

Pairings: None; just a genfic

Genre: Survival Horror/Supernatural/Angst-y

Next Chapter: Part Two

Notes: uhh yep, here it is, a buzzfeed unsolved/dead by daylight crossover fic bc once i started to think about it, i couldnt stop. there will be temporary character death, lil bits of gore, and a fair amount of blood and violence in the story, just not in this installment. careful if you click the embedded link, as it might be loud

---------

‘Sometimes human places, create inhuman monsters.’ Stephen King, The Shining

1

Léry’s Memorial Institute was probably the filthiest building Shane had ever stepped foot in, which, when you took into account just how many foul, decrepit locations he’d been to in the past, was really saying something. The building itself was beautiful in its own haunting way, as most older buildings often were, but Léry’s took the definition of ruined to a new extreme he’d yet to see before now. It was an architectural thing of beauty to be sure, but the grit and grime that covered the entirety of the stonework did manage to dampen his enthusiasm for exploring the dilapidated structure.

And he had been excited for it, originally; a chance to fly back to Illinois to shoot the season finale of Unsolved on his home turf had been generally appealing, even if he hadn’t heard of Michaelstown or Léry’s before. But then they’d all gotten their first look at the Institute, looming horribly tall over the long horizon of pines as they drove up to it from the bumpy dirt road, and he felt all his excitement leave his body in an instant, evaporating like a cold drop of water on hot asphalt.

The silhouette had been menacing and boxy, regal in an old fashioned way that modern constructions had abandoned in favor of more modern designs. It was, perhaps, one of the most imposing feats of architecture he’d ever laid eyes on; it certainly ranked up there with Waverly in his mind, and perhaps that was why he felt so inexplicably nervous as he’d looked at it. Rather than dwell on it, he compartmentalized his anxiety away in his brain and turned to make a comment about how spooky the hospital was to Ryan, but whatever effects looking at the building had had on him appeared to have hit his co-host three times as hard; Ryan’s brain already looked like it was melting, an expression of mute terror written plainly across his face.

Shane couldn’t fault him for that, considering his own momentary scare, and was actually grateful for his silence. If Ryan had pressed him for a comment on whether or not he thought Léry’s was haunted in that moment, then Shane might’ve reluctantly admitted that, in the event that ghosts were real, he wouldn’t be surprised to find a few here, but Ryan had been too horror-stricken to ask. In all actuality, no one on the team had been up for much conversation after that first initial glimpse, an uneasy vibe settling into all of them as they parked. They had all taken a moment to appreciate how terribly ominous it looked against the backdrop of a sunset red sky before TJ ushered them into their usual business routine, unpacking their equipment and getting their bodycams set up.

“Man, I feel like Jack Torrance walking into the Overlook here. This building feels downright predatory, man,” Ryan said, voice already shaking with nervousness.

Evening was falling fast upon them as they shuffled around in the entrance hall, carefully avoiding the large panes of broken glass and other debris that littered the floor. The layer of dust on the ground was so thick, distinct footprints could be seen as clear as though they’d been walking through snow, their tracks leading around in circles as they got their first look at the interior.

Shane hummed a noncommittal response as he shined his camera light around, disgusted by the amount of dust on the floor and in the air; if he were an asthmatic, he’d probably have run through several inhalers just from walking in.

“So tell me what I’m looking at here, Ryan; what’s the history behind this magnificent pile of rubble?” Shane asked as he nudged a thick piece of wood with the toe of his boot.

They would cover most of the history of Léry’s Memorial Institute in the voice over, but that wouldn’t be done until they got back to California and Ryan had yet to tell him much about the place. Keeping Shane in the dark about the past of some the places they went to was a good way to get genuine reactions out of him, but he felt that if they didn’t start bantering soon then Ryan would lose whatever was left of his poor, impressionable mind.

“I feel really weird,” Ryan said instead of answering, glancing around the area with wide, uncertain eyes. “There’s like, some kind of an energy in the air in here; do you feel it?”

“No,” Shane replied calmly, though that wasn’t entirely true. He could feel something akin to static in the air around them, but he didn’t register that as a supernatural phenomenon. The air felt charged in a way that reminded him more of an impending thunderstorm getting ready to unburden itself than it did of something unearthly. “It is a little chilly, though; probably should’ve worn more layers.”

“Good Christ, I hate it here already.” Ryan shuddered and rubbed at one of his arms as he turned to look down the dark hallway that lead further in. “Right, so. Léry’s. I couldn’t find any information on who the original owners were, or who built it, but I did find out that the original building was built sometime in the 1800’s.”

“This isn’t the original?”

Ryan shook his head and reluctantly took the lead in guiding them down the long, narrow hallway, adjusting the straps of his bodycam rig subconsciously as he went.

“Well, yes and no,” he said, stopping every few steps to shine his light and camera into any rooms they happened to pass. “The original building was just a really big mansion the owners lived in before they donated their land to the government; all this hospital space was added onto it during the Korean War to help rehab returning vets.”

“This is one hell of a remodeling job; the Property Brothers would be proud with how many square feet they managed to pump into this thing,” Shane remarked, grinning a little when Ryan let out a slight laugh. “So, army hospital?”

“Yep, up until the CIA took possession of it in the 60’s, and that’s where all my research brought me to dead ends. I couldn’t find what they wanted it for or what they did with it after they got it, but boy, the conspiracy theories run wild with this one.” He turned to flash Shane a conspiratory grin.

“Are you gonna use the voice on me?” Shane asked with a roll of his eyes. “Don’t lay it on too thick now; save some for the voice over.”

“Some say that the CIA turned Léry’s into a black site in order to perfect ‘information gathering’ techniques they’d wanted to put into practice during the war,” Ryan began, easily slipping into the professional tone of voice he used for narrations. The familiarity with which he spoke seemed to restore some of his confidence as they continued down the hall, as he no longer seemed to shrink away from the darkness surrounding them. “They reportedly hired a large number of staff to run the medical facility, but no records of anyone working here exist- at least to the public-, though there are rumors of one particular doctor who was well known for his sadistic use of electro-convulsive shock ‘treatments’.”

“Torture, you mean,” Shane said, shining his light into a room of indeterminate purpose. Ahead of him, Ryan nodded in affirmation. “Great, a secret torture hospital. I’m sure you’ll get a lot of angry, resentful ghosts to talk to here.”

Ignoring his comment, Ryan continued his monologue, clearly having spent time rehearsing it. “Supposedly. As the rumors go, they began implementing experimental interrogation methods on American citizens first before moving on to actual spies, and oh- oh my god, that’s a fucking big rat,” Ryan sputtered, his Unsolved voice breaking as he skipped back down the hall and almost knocked into Shane, who barely managed to sidestep his panicked retreat.

He couldn’t help but chuckle a bit as he put an arm to Ryan’s shoulder to steady him before stepping ahead of him, shining his camera light into what looked to be a large reception area. It was wide and spacious, full of dark corners with plenty of dust and run down furniture covered in graffiti. The rat Ryan had stumbled upon was underneath one of the waiting room benches, turned over on its side and very clearly dead, though it was exceptionally large.

They stared at it together contemplatively for a moment before Shane said, “I gotta tell you, Ry, that I am not at all thrilled about spending the night here. I think I might ask my mom to call your mom to tell you I can’t come to your little sleepover.”

From behind, they could hear Mark laugh before stepping into the room, aiming the lens of his camera at the rat for a dramatic close-up they could potentially use to promote the episode.

“That’s disgusting, don’t film that,” Devon said, clicking her tongue in disapproval as she placed her hand in front of the camera lens until Mark lowered it off his shoulder. “This place is foul; I can’t say I envy you boys for staying here one bit.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” Ryan muttered. “Hell, I might cancel the sleepover myself, no moms involved.”

“You can’t, you already walked out of one overnight this season,” TJ cut in, to which Ryan responded with a quietly spoken ‘fuck’ under his breath. “Let’s just start filming, yeah? The sooner we get this done, the sooner morning will come, the sooner you can leave. Now, where do you think you’re gonna want the static cams set up?” TJ asked as Mark held up the bags he’d carried in with them.

2

Against Devon’s wishes, they decided to film the intro for the episode in the lobby with the dead rat, the compromise being that Shane and Ryan had to sit on opposite sides of the hallway that lead back the way they’d come so that the rodent’s body wouldn’t make it into the final shot. This was agreeable to all of them, but as Shane sat there, waiting for the camera to start rolling, he couldn’t keep his eyes from wandering back to its corpse occasionally, trying to deduce what it could have died from.

They tried to film with what little natural light they had left, but the sun had already been sinking when they’d arrived. Whatever light it managed to provide ended up fading away too fast for them to effectively use, eventually prompting TJ to insist on bringing in big, bright lights so they weren’t stuck filming in the dark. As Shane squinted into the newfound light source, his eyes adjusting poorly to the brightness, he managed to get a better look at the room they were set up in.

Based on his own opinion and how little he actually knew about Léry’s, it certainly didn’t look like the kind of place run by a malicious, CIA sanctioned group of sadists; to him, it looked like a hospital, plain and simple. The white paint along the walls was cracked and peeling, revealing discoloured splotches of drywall that furthered the eerie, run-down atmosphere the building had as a whole. Regardless of that and the dead rat, there was nothing in the general vicinity that implied Léry’s might have been used for something as sinister as torture- they even had what looked to be remnants of vintage motivational posters decaying behind the reception desk. Despite how foreboding the building had looked from the outside, inside it both looked and felt normal, which made him wonder again about where his original discomfort upon viewing the building might have derived from.

“This week on the season finale of Buzzfeed Unsolved: Supernatural, we’re investigating Léry’s Memorial Institute in Michaelstown, Illinois as a part of our ongoing investigation into the question, are ghosts real?”

Hearing Ryan’s voice pulled him from his thoughts. Unaware that they’d begun the segment, Shane turned to look at the camera Mark was holding and shook his head curtly on cue. The motion was well-practiced and concise, even if he was still squinting because of the lights.

He waited patiently as Ryan spoke of what he knew about Léry’s alleged history, repeating a lot of what he’d already mentioned to Shane earlier for the official intro. He went more in depth as he talked about the history of the building to the camera than he did with Shane, adding on some embellishments about the various conspiracy theories he’d dug up that involved what the staff at Léry’s might’ve been up to, and none of it sounded good.

“Léry’s was condemned and abandoned in 1983, and was even rumored to have been burnt down, but as you can see, since we are currently sitting inside the building, that clearly isn’t the case,” Ryan recited, shooting Shane a look that invited him in to begin a banter.

“Ryan, I swear to God if you’re trying to tell me that the building itself is a ghost, I will resign.” Shane forced his face into a serious expression that matched his disapproving tone of voice as Ryan laughed loudly. “You can get Brent back to be your new ‘ghoulfriend’ and you can just- the two of you can just run around these spooky places like a couple of headless chickens screaming about ghosts together.”

“No, that’s- that’s not what I’m saying,” Ryan said, a humorous inflection tinging his voice as he spoke. “What I’m saying is, is that someone either lied to cover up any potential future investigations into Léry’s alleged operations, or someone got it wrong; either way, Léry’s is still here.”

“And how’d you come to find that out?” Shane asked, honestly interested in Ryan’s answer. His friend had already admitted that researching the place had been hard and often netted him no real answers; if any and all official documentations surrounding Léry’s said it was no longer standing, then he wondered how Ryan was able to discover that it actually was.

“I looked up the coordinates on Google’s satellite image maps.” Shane raised his eyebrows at that, and Ryan shrugged in response. “There was a building here, and when I compared it to old images of the Memorial Institute I’d found dated pre 1980’s, they seemed to match. When I reached out to the current property owners, they agreed to let us look around as long as we didn’t try to ‘solve’ anything.”

“We never do,” Shane said wistfully, dramatically looking away for a moment, and again Ryan laughed, the sound of it echoing around the walls of the room.

“Alright, whatever, big guy; we can do all the ghost hunting we want, they said, but we have to let the sleeping dogs lie on whether or not Léry’s has a ‘tortured’ past or not; they don’t want any trouble with the government.” Ryan looked amused by his own pun, but Shane knew that his ability to find humour in little things like that wouldn’t last the night.

“Well, let’s get started then, shall we?” Shane said, slapping his hands to his thighs and beginning to feel his eagerness returning to him. He started to stand up, and Ryan sighed.

“Yeah, fuck, let’s- let’s get into it.”

3

“Is there anyone here with us right now?” Ryan spoke loudly and clearly as he addressed the spirit box, glancing around the room they were standing in cautiously as he held the small radio up between them. There was an overturned examination table and some rusted chairs in the room with them that Shane had initially tried to sit in, but found them too unstable to support him. “If there is, we’d really like to talk with you. My name’s Ryan, and my unnecessarily large friend here is Shane; I know he’s a little frightening to look at, but can you say either of our names?”

They waited for a response, Ryan pensively shifting his eyes around as though he might see a ghost hiding behind the old furniture while Shane did his best to not let his boredom show on camera. He waited silently for a moment, letting the spirit box spit out jumbled radio frequencies and broken fragments of words for Ryan to analyze later before deciding to chime in.

“Did you ever stop to think that the spirit box might be triggering these spirits you’re trying to contact?” he asked, voice drawling as he tucked his hands into the pockets of his denim jacket. “If that doctor you mentioned earlier really did exist, then don’t you think it stands to reason that the static from the box might be traumatizing them? Torturing them in their afterlife? Maybe that’s why they don’t want to talk to you.”

“You’re just saying that because it tortures you,” Ryan said, snickering. He opened his mouth to say something else in support of his use of the spirit box, but was hushed when it began to pick up an unusual, garbled sort of noise.

If Shane hadn’t been accustomed to the usual tones of static the spirit box produced as it skipped through radio frequencies, he would have chalked the sound that was coming through the speaker now as typical spirit box sounds, but innately he knew that it wasn’t. Whatever was coming through the radio now was different, in that it had cut through the previous channel of static to effectively broadcast the new sound.

He could tell from the stunned reaction on Ryan’s face that he, too, recognized the sound as something unusual. This wet, static noise that was coming through the receiver had been unheard by either of them before.

Ryan turned his head to look up at Shane, any trace of amusement he’d been displaying before now gone as he struggled to make sense of what he was hearing. Before either of them could properly process what they were listening to, the sound slowly tapered off into silence.

Shane stared at the box in Ryan’s hand, waiting for the usual sounds of static to come back through the speaker so he could explain the phenomenon away as some sort of malfunction. He was preemptively formulating a response to the questions Ryan was sure to start asking when the whispering began.

The voice was low and quiet, possibly male, and managed to speak uninterrupted for more than a few consecutive seconds. Shane felt his skin break out into goosebumps as he listened, leaning forward to try and get a better understanding of what was being said even as Ryan recoiled, almost dropping the spirit box in his fright.

If the voice was whispering in any known language, Shane didn’t recognize it; the words registered as garbled, barely distinguishable nonsense to his ears, but the tone with which it spoke, intent and persistent, had his hair beginning to stand on end. Everyone in the room was hushed, although Ryan was beginning to hyperventilate, his breath coming in fast, wheezing gulps. His hand was visibly trembling, but he resolutely did not drop or set the spirit box down, a small act of bravery Shane admired him for.

They didn’t have long to focus on what the voice was saying before a loud, burst of static tore out of the speaker, ending the strange noises abruptly and causing Ryan to shout in surprise. Shane blinked solemnly at the little box as it returned to flickering through regular radio channels before he met Ryan’s stupefied gaze.

“What the fuck just happened,” Ryan gasped out, quickly turning the box off and setting it aside to deal with his minor anxiety attack.

No one had an immediate answer.

“Did anyone recognize what it was saying?” Devon asked timidly. “Not trying to be an alarmist here, but that… didn’t sound human to me.”

Ryan moaned at the implication and sat down hard on the floor, uncaring of how dirty it was.

“Look, let’s just all calm down and take a minute to think about it logically,” Shane said, attempting to take control of the situation in order to soothe his companion’s panic, but he didn’t feel calm himself. His heart was thudding away rapidly in his chest, though he told himself that it was due in part to being taken off guard by the loud outburst of static that came through at the end of the transmission. “Do you know every earthly language that exists?” he asked Devon, who shook her head reluctantly. He repeated the question to Mark and TJ before directing it to Ryan, and all their answers were the same. “Neither do I; just because it spoke in a language we can’t immediately identify doesn’t mean it wasn’t human. Have we all forgotten we’re in an old, ex-governmental building that was run by the fucking CIA? The box probably just latched onto an old numbers station or something.

“And anyway, I’d expect you to be more excited about this, little guy,” he said gently to Ryan, trying to encourage a positive reaction out of him. “We caught all that on film, buddy.”

From the floor, Ryan had stopped his rapid breathing as he processed Shane’s line of reasoning. He still looked frightened, but his expression also seemed more speculative after listening to Shane deliver his cowboy speech. When Shane reached a hand down to help him up, Ryan took it.

“You’re right. We have evidence,” Ryan said slowly as he rose back to full height, his eyes lighting up as he clasped Shane’s hand tightly to his chest.

Shane winced and tried to pull his hand free, but the clammy grip with which Ryan held to it was strong. “It could be any number of things before it could be ghosts, Ryan, you know that.”

“But if it’s not any of those other things, then it- it’s real! We have actual, recorded evidence! Léry’s Memorial Institute is certified haunted, baby!”

He let go of Shane’s hand at last, his fear momentarily forgotten as he did a quick dance, pumping his fist up and down into the air in a celebratory fashion. Mark trained the camera on him to capture the moment, swapping from Ryan’s joyful expression to Shane’s look of bewildered amusement. Devon looked on with a congratulatory smile until TJ eventually spoke.

“You… do realize you still have to stay the night here, right?” TJ said somberly, knowing that what he had to say would was going to affect Ryan negatively, and already they could all see the impact his words had on him as he stopped dancing. “I’m happy for you and all, but don’t forget we have a whole episode left to shoot.” Fresh horror dawned on Ryan’s face, his excitement over finding proof of the supernatural immediately dying out when he realized it didn’t absolve him from fulfilling the rest of his contractual obligations.

“Oh, fuck, you’re right,” he said with a groan, his shoulders slumping at the remembered thought. He brought his hands to his face and dragged his fingers down, pulling at his skin. “Ohh, fuck, you’re right. Shit.”

“Certified haunted, baby,” Shane teased with a weak grin, knowing already that it was going to be a long, sleepless night for the both of them.

4

They explored the area a little further after the incident with the spirit box, but didn’t manage to capture or illicit any other supernatural responses to their presence, though not for lack of trying. Everywhere they went, Shane demanded that the ghosts repeat the strange audio they’d managed to capture before and called them out on their cowardice when nothing happened. Ryan grew increasingly upset with his behaviour, but Shane was out to prove a point: whatever they’d discovered through the use of the spirit box wasn’t something supernatural, and if the spirits weren’t willing to entertain them, then he wasn’t willing to entertain the notion that it could be ghosts.

The logical part of his brain demanded he debunk it immediately, even if it meant he had to poop all over Ryan’s parade in order to do so, and he planned on taking the mightiest shit he could before they wrapped up filming for the night.

5

Most of the upper floors of Léry’s were condemned and deemed too unsafe for them to explore, barring their ability to scope out the building in its entirety, but the ground floors were plenty big enough to take up hours’ worth of time to investigate.

With Mark and TJ’s help, they set up three static cams where Ryan thought they’d get the most activity: one in the room where they’d gotten the spirit box to communicate with them (with an EVP device they would leave on all night), one in the reception area pointing down the hall they’d entered through, and the final one in a room Ryan had called the ‘treatment theatre’, where they’d decided to bunk down for the night.

It was a circular room with one single, ominous examination table set up in the middle over a system of rusty, grated flooring. A large set-up of outdated lighting systems hung low and broken over it, hanging like an untended widowmaker’s tree waiting to collapse, and for the first time that night Shane wondered if perhaps Ryan’s torture theory might have some truth behind it. Copper stains could be seen leading from the table to the grated floors, and he resolutely decided not to focus on them.

On the floor above them, reached only by a set of stairs set into the back of the room, was a windowed viewing booth that jutted out from the wall. A sense of unease overcame him as Shane looked at it, wondering what the people of the past had need of to stand up there in a room such as this, but he knew in the back of his mind what the answer to that was.

He tried to tuck his discomfort away as he laid out his sleeping bag next to Ryan’s, and wound up unsettling some dust into the air as he smoothed it out and plopped his pillow into place. He grimaced and tried to suppress a cough, but doing so only made the urge to cough worse. Ryan watched him hack whatever he’d inhaled into the crook of his arm, a wry smile of amusement playing at his lips.

“Need some water?” Devon asked, stepping forward with a water bottle already in hand.

Shane took it gratefully and drank until he felt his throat clear up. “Thanks,” he said as he capped it and set the bottle down beside his pillow.

“Should we see you guys out?” Ryan asked as Mark finished adjusting the camera that was set facing their sleeping bags, the red recording light already blinking with purpose.

Mark shrugged as he stood, taking his big shoulder camera back from TJ, who had had been dutifully holding it for him so he didn’t have to set it on the dirty floor.

“Nah, I think we can find our way out on our own,” TJ said as Mark wiped his knees clean of the grime. “I know you’ll probably just bolt if you get anywhere close to the exit anyway, Bergara.”

It was Shane’s turn to smirk as Ryan scowled, knowing that there was definitely some truth in that statement. Ryan had been unusually on edge throughout the rest of their investigation after their incident with the spirit box, and all Shane’s goading had done was make it worse.

“Have a good night, guys,” Devon said, looking uncertain about leaving them alone. She gave a little wave as Mark and TJ each said their goodbyes in turn. “We’ll see you in the morning; be safe, okay?”

“We’ll be fine; what’s the worst that’ll happen? A rat takes a nibble out of one of our ears?” Shane mustered up a smile he hoped looked assuring, but Devon didn’t seem comforted by it.

“The closest hotel we could book is 20 minutes away, but even still, don’t hesitate to call if you need something,” she said, and TJ nodded in affirmation.

“We’ll come as quick as we can,” he said, and Shane wasn’t sure why, but his words left a heavy weight in his stomach.

“Guys, we’ll be fine, this isn’t our first rodeo,” Shane said exasperatedly, and Ryan backed him up with a nod.

“The ghoul boys know how to behave themselves during a spooky sleepover,” he affirmed, but didn’t have the confidence required to back up what he was saying.

Still, Devon looked a little less doubtful and finally relented. She bid them goodnight once more before the three of them took their leave, carrying all the extra equipment Shane and Ryan wouldn’t need away with them to make packing up a little easier in the morning.

None of them knew it would be the last time they ever saw each other.

Shane sat down on his sleeping bag with a slight grunt and listened to their crew’s footsteps receding out of the room and away from them, echoing down the hall ominously. He waited until he couldn’t hear them anymore before he started getting ready for sleep, peeling away the opening of his sleeping bag to tuck his long legs inside.

“And then there were two,” he said rather cheerfully to Ryan as he got comfortable. He was met with a miserable sigh as his co-host begrudgingly slid into his own sleeping bag. He zipped it up promptly and stared up at the ceiling bitterly.

“You say that every time they leave, give it a rest already.”

“But it’s true every time it warrants being said,” Shane replied, drawing his phone out of his pocket and opening up Twitter. “We’re the only two people left in here; anyone else doesn’t exist, and you seem to need reminding of that fairly often.”

Ryan sighed shakily and turned his flashlight off, casting them both into the gloomy darkness, broken only by the glow of Shane’s phone as he scrolled through his social media feed.

6

“Shane? Are you awake? I’m kinda freaking out hardcore over here, buddy.”

It took a moment for Shane to register that he was being spoken to as he blinked the sleep out of his eyes, rolling over in his bag to face where Ryan was laid out. As his vision adjusted to the dark, he could see that Ryan was wide-awake, still staring up at the ceiling where the viewing booth stuck out like a sore thumb.

“What?” Shane asked, his voice heavy and tired, rumbling out of his throat in a low timbre. “Whatsit?”

“I- I can’t sleep,” Ryan admitted, his voice sounding small.

“Surprising absolutely no one,” Shane muttered before yawning loudly and rubbing the crust out of the corners of his eyes; he’d only been just been able to fall asleep before Ryan woke him up.

“Shut up,” Ryan grumbled. “It- I can’t sleep because it feels like- it feels like we’re being watched. I know it’s just the dark, but sometimes I think I can see people up there, looking down at us.”

Shane turned his gaze up to the viewing booth, but couldn’t see anything that looked like what Ryan was worrying about. His eyes did try to force shapes out of the darkness behind the window, but he intrinsically knew that it was just his mind playing tricks on him, trying to get him to see things that weren’t actually there. “There’s no one here but us, Ryan,” he reminded him, turning his attention back to his friend.

“But the voice on the spirit box-”

“-was just a voice,” Shane cut in. “And look, I’ll be honest with you- it was a little jarring, and I’ll admit to being a little unnerved by it myself, if that makes you feel any better.”

“Wh- no! Why would that make me feel better?” Ryan spluttered, finally tearing his eyes away from the booth above them to fix his wide-eyed stare on Shane. “You’re supposed to be my, my grounding rock, my calming spirit; how can you be scared? You’re not allowed to be afraid, I- I’m the one who fears!”

Shane stared at Ryan for one wordless minute before breaking out into a hearty laugh, his voice carrying around the room and making it sound louder than it was.

“Alright, calm down there cowardly Heisenberg; I didn’t say I was scared, just unnerved,” he clarified. His laugh seemed to ease some of Ryan’s worries, as his face cracked into a tentative grin at his words. “It was weird, yes, but nothing else strange happened while we were walking around, did it?”

“No, I guess not,” Ryan admitted, looking a little sheepish now. He contemplated Shane’s words quietly for a moment before he asked, “Do you really think it was just a numbers channel?”

“I think it’s a possibility, yes,” Shane said, picking his words carefully so as not to exacerbate Ryan’s anxieties. He honestly had no idea what it was or what it could be, but he wasn’t anywhere near ready yet to admit that it could’ve had supernatural origins. “We’re in a weird old government hospital; I think the most likely thing to have happened is that our little boxy pal picked up on a weird frequency we weren’t supposed to have access to and gave us a glimpse into something that wasn’t meant for us.”

“Yeah, but, we’re in Illinois,” Ryan began, picking at the zippered hem of his sleeping bag as he put the thoughts he’d been ruminating on into words.

“So? If you’re about to start shit-talking this wholesome state, so help me God, we’re going to have to start exchanging some serious words here.”

“No, that’s not what- Look, Illinois is in America; what possible radio frequency being broadcast here could we have picked up on that doesn’t speak English, or any other spoken American language, or even human?” Ryan asked, gesticulating around them as he spoke.

Shane sighed and rolled onto his back, adjusting his pillow to better support his neck. “You don’t know that it’s not any known human language, Ryan, we established that. It was probably just some kind of a looping cipher the CIA forgot to turn off when they moved out, not some- some demon speaking to us in tongues.”

Beside him, Ryan groaned loudly and quickly withdrew his arms back into his sleeping bag, as though he were afraid that by naming it, one would suddenly appear.

“Please don’t say demon.”

“You just did,” Shane said, unable to keep himself from speaking rather snidely. Ryan shot him a pointed look of annoyance, but he couldn’t help his uncooperative attitude in that moment. He was sleepy, and could feel all the dust they’d been breathing in coagulating deep in his lungs. He was irritated, and he let it show. “Look, Ry, we can discuss this all we want tomorrow, but I am incredibly tired right now. Just… try and get some sleep, okay? We’ll pick this up later.”

“I think we both know that’s not gonna happen,” Ryan muttered, but he mercifully let the issue drop.

Whether or not their conversation had helped or hindered Ryan, Shane couldn’t say. It had been a strange night for both of them, all things considered, and he wanted nothing more than to just be done with it. As he closed his eyes to try and go back to sleep, the last thing Shane would later recall seeing was the darkness taking shape in the form of a face looming behind the window pane of the viewing booth, looking down upon them intently. A strange metallic taste wouldn’t leave his mouth no matter how much water he drank to try and ride himself of it, and although Ryan had forsaken the notion of sleep for himself entirely, he too eventually drifted off unawares.

And that was all it took; by the morning they were gone, taken without a trace, everything they’d brought with them left behind and undisturbed.

[punkscowardschampions]

Indie & Rio

Indie: [sends her the posts because no other way she'd see them] Rio: Shit, girl Rio: I was worried it might go down like this Indie: she's so extra Indie: never should have let him in the door Indie: the feds are gonna be hardcore @ it now Rio: Surely she let him out Rio: stupid woman Rio: but that's gonna pale in comparison now so Rio: What's Drew doing about it? Indie: boy was begging for a sick time & i gave it but its on me not him 😒😒 hold ur liquor u tourist Indie: hes flat roofin but other than that no thing to 👀 Indie: it b early tho & we all had a late Rio: They're a 24/7 services though, babe Rio: he'll be wanting to move his stash and generally clear his act up for the visit Rio: you too Indie: is it? on hols too thats a madness Indie: yeah the drum be clear of all his goods like that Indie: idk man mayb its chill like she gonna post that & not post up no harder than Rio: They might take xmas day off maybe but you know Rio: business as usual for all jan 1st Rio: well that's something Rio: maybe, but bitches like that LOVE making complaints about everything so maybe not Indie: she do have that talk to the manager vibe Indie: i done fucked up real didnt i? Rio: big time karen Rio: nah, in the eyes of everyone it's Drew that did Rio: but they won't be able to prove the drugs bit if they're gone so it's not enough to take you, a party gone wrong, bad judgment but maybe we can swing it that he was here somehow Rio: hmm Indie: but like he had mad trust for me & i brought him mad problems Rio: they're grown problems, he's big enough to fix 'em Indie: u too making ur nite go off on a real turn Indie: bet ur boy is bare vexed Rio: you know i'd rather you ring me than let it go more tits Rio: what are big sisters for Rio: but yeah, didn't even see him in the end so he ain't stopped Indie: innit Indie: tell him he can hit me up for something to take off that edge Indie: debts be paid around here Rio: um you ain't supposed to have no thing 'scuse you Rio: there's a plan here Indie: i gots places & heads to trust in Rio: nah, I'll make it up to him, don't worry 'bout that Indie: 😉😉😉 Rio: 😏 shush lil girl Indie: grown problems ur big enough to fix i kno 💋🤤🤤 Rio: so thirsty, go hydrate Rio: know you need to 😘 Indie: rude i got lipsed by bare boys last nite they were rigging dem bottle spins cos im 🔥🔥 dont b tryna put me out Rio: you need to cool off for a minute, bitch Rio: you in trouble Indie: not wit u Rio: yeah, don't push it 😉 Indie: 💔😢😢 dont do me like that on day 1 of the year 🙏🙏🙏 Rio: it started HOURS ago and I was still here with you cleaning blood out the carpet Rio: don't talk to me about day 1s when I'm clearly ride or die Indie: u kno im good for ious & i got mad love Rio: 🧡 Rio: i'm good really Rio: let's sort the actual situation Indie: u gonna charm the social for me? Rio: give it my best Indie: safe ✌✌ Rio: probably the straightest middle-aged lady Rio: so more likely your da will have to get on it Indie: 😂😂😂 Indie: what drew b good for Rio: init tho Indie: we all been knew Indie: he better werk so it works Rio: Sure it won't be too hard, like Rio: even if she ain't all that 😂 Indie: she aint gon b bangin but his exes show he aint need that to chirp on Rio: 👀 Indie: 😂😂😏😏 Indie: can u roll up wit eats im about to die Rio: bit rude to both our ma, like lmao Rio: 'course Rio: bring leftovers Indie: ur ma dont count as no ex cos she ✖ed him out Indie: & my ma got that permanent ✖ so bigger problems than my shade innit Rio: no problems when you an 👼 Rio: fucking hopefully Indie: u my 👼 bringing that energy Indie: that means u can jam Rio: is it? Rio: 😏 Rio: let Ryan know eh Indie: he kno u a 😈 too Indie: how he be livin Rio: mhmm Rio: well he gon' have to wait for now Indie: he gon have beef wit me Indie: soz boyyy Rio: nah we was already beefin' 'fore this Indie: yeah? Indie: what he do? 👀 Rio: nah, what I do more like Rio: you know I'm 😈 Indie: o shit Indie: gimme that 411 Rio: nothing exciting Rio: just be looking too bad to be giving him that much air, you know the drill Indie: hes so hyped for u Indie: its been weeks boy no u cant cuff it Indie: who u think u is Rio: can you blame him Rio: hot property, baby Indie: u did look 💣💣💣 last nite my bad Indie: theres a boy @ school tryna chat @ the rest hes my bf so i feel it fr Indie: boy please DO I LOOK LIKE Indie: not tryna hold ur damn hand Rio: is he cute tho Indie: if he werent he wouldnt be able to chat no thing Indie: 💪 fuck him up Rio: 😂 Rio: gotta 'tect the rep Indie: he kno it tho & its like tell me how 🔥🔥 i am dont b talking on urself all the time Rio: not a mood Indie: innit Indie: dry as Rio: that's boys for you Indie: & he didnt show last nite Rio: playing hard to get or just got parents who give a fuck Indie: year up x 2 so he could come thru the ends whenever Indie: but i 💋 all his mandem so itll hit back Rio: play @ his own game  alright Indie: do u think i went too hard tho? Rio: do you want him to be your mans or nah Indie: idk Rio: then it depends Rio: beyond knowing he loves himself, idk how he's vibing Rio: might be too far Indie: hes vibing like hes about me but i Rio: but you? Indie: how do i live that Indie: trust it Indie: drews meshing a new every week he says u gotta keep free on it Rio: works for him Rio: everyone's different Rio: you don't have to trust him yet Indie: mayb hes only about me til i give him something & im not tryna be a show like that Rio: that happens, not gonna sit here and lie and say it don't Rio: you're too young to be thinking on that or worrying Rio: keep him and the rest waiting Indie: yeah okay Indie: gimme a few to have puberty roll up Indie: still waiting on that Rio: it'll happen Rio: not that it's a barrel of laughs, like Rio: nothing to be hyped about Indie: i dont want it Indie: freaky shit going on Rio: unless you gonna stop eating, which unlikely Rio: you fucked, babe, we all are, soz Rio: get boobies though, perks Indie: that best not be you tryna skip on bringing me a meal bitch Indie: bout to hit the afterlife running here like Rio: 🙄 omw you rude ass hoe Rio: like you said, none of us had earlies Indie: omw fr or like when u tell ur mans u @ the club but u still tryin on fits in ur room Rio: like fr when I ever done you like that Indie: dont b starting Indie: ily Rio: 🤞 never Rio: ily more Indie: drews back if u wanna spit at him how to sort his life Rio: i will Rio: he ain't ready for this Indie: resolutions b dashing past this postcode we all avoidin that change Rio: you gotta Rio: sort you both Indie: hey swerve me im good Rio: 😏 Rio: fine i'll focus on your daddy Rio: no love for you Indie: 👼👼🤞🤞 Indie: call him that when you give it & he'll give in Rio: oh you schooling me on how to get blokes to do what I want now Rio: ok miss thing Indie: just him i 👂 what i hear & i kno what i kno Indie: hes here for all that Rio: you poor child Rio: anything grosser than parents going at it 😬 Indie: nah man its nasty & long being under this roof sometimes trust Rio: 🤢 Indie: some of his girls got me tempted to 📱 the social my own self & my ma looking like a saint Rio: that ain't right Rio: negates any buffness he got going on Indie: why lads wanna get on or under ANYTHING?! Indie: true madness Indie: 😂😂😂 Rio: friction 🤷 Indie: yeah but like theres girls out there bringing it & you're gonna hit that Rio: he probably ain't got as much choice as he fronts Rio: lots of grown women ain't about his lifestyle so that leaves him w the younger ones who is Rio: stick at it too long, you get busted, just facts Indie: when you old & so is your baggage 😂😂✌✌ Rio: I mean Rio: I ain't say nothing 😉 Indie: keep that ☮ mama Rio: least he looks p young still Rio: nothing worse than an actual creepy old man dealer Indie: do he? 👴 to me Rio: nah Rio: he only what, 31 Rio: that's no thing to me, gurl Indie: mayb im just 🍋 cos he aint tryna gimme no 💸💸💸 Indie: & he aint caring my head hurts Rio: aw bb Rio: 'round the corner Rio: I'll look after you Indie: 💖💖💖 Indie: u didnt tell me it b like this tho partying Rio: didn't think i had to be that quick with the warnings Rio: next day hurts Indie: always? Rio: 'less you prepare and do it right Rio: it can be bearable Rio: better than you feeling, no doubt Indie: how i do that? school me yeah Rio: 'course Rio: on the to-do list now Indie: we doing the next as a back to school thing so you got a few to bring me up Rio: you best be doing it at some other fucker's gaff and all Rio: giving me grey hairs 🙄 Indie: 😂😂✌✌ Indie: imma make that boy host it Indie: if he love me Rio: You're getting a chaperone regardless Indie: serious? Rio: yeah Indie: 💔💔💔 Rio: don't start like you don't know why Indie: i aint trippin you are tho if u think i want a repeat Rio: what, you too cool for me now? Indie: innit 😏😏😏 Indie: but nah just Rio: you so is Rio: you think imma embarrass you in-front of your mans Indie: he aint gon b my mans if u there Indie: whos 👀 me over u Rio: nah don't be silly Indie: im being real Indie: ur 💣💣💣🔥🔥🔥 Rio: so are you Rio: and I don't think a lad who likes you will be into me Indie: every lad b into u they all chat on u fully 😍😍😍💘💘😍 Rio: sounds like plenty are into you too Indie: 😂😂 it was for the spin Indie: cant pussy out Rio: 😏 mhmm Rio: well I promise you I won't be joining in, like Rio: now come let me in if you got strength to get the door Indie: 💪💪 babyyy Indie: [lets her in cos fuck know what drew is doing, flexing in the mirror probably] Rio: [lol watch him rush out when he realize] Indie: [hears her voice & runs out pretending to be casual] Rio: [oh boy, do not deserve her sorting your life, temporarily, but it's for Indie so] Indie: [bless her she's dying rn & just wants to be snuggled cos literal child] Rio: [give them a sec 'scuse you sir] Indie: [I hate everything about this, Carly didn't die for this] Rio: [just making leftovers] Indie: [drew chatting to her like she's here to hang with him & we all know] Rio: [don't you touch caleb's food bitch] Indie: [is nothing sacred you slag] Indie: [indie just fully lying stretched out on the counter like its a bed like let me die] Rio: [getting a bag of peas or some shit in a tea towel and putting it on her head] Indie: [such a good mum but that don't mean you can step ma her drew] Rio: [not her fault she can converse more like a grown-up than you Indie: [we should send Indie running off to the bathroom no offense Caleb but I'm evil & wanna leave them alone for a sec for the mood] Rio: [shoulda gone to hold her hair but now you can level with him and he can pretend he's a responsible adult lmao] Indie: [& Ryan can be highkey & he can pretend he cares] Rio: [ah the joys]

[wearethegoodlife]

CAMP NICE 2018 SUPER RE-CAP EXTRAVAGANZA!

Doesn’t it feel now, more than ever, that we are hurling through time at such a crazy pace that keeping up is simply impossible? And what exactly are we keeping up with? The constant barrage of information, mis-information and every insignificant bit of data in between has deposited us in a constant state of flux that goes nowhere. Modern world problems indeed! So where do we go from here? For us, the answer is simple – we go to Camp Nice!

What started as a simple camping trip has become something so much more, and the changing times have all to do with it. Now Camp Nice is a sanctuary. Not so much an escape as it is a return, Camp Nice is the ultimate reset button. Whether for just one night or the whole twelve days, Camp Nice takes us back to a simpler way of life, one of cooperation, enthusiasm, and creativity, one where family and friends or complete strangers can co-exist peacefully and happily and rebuild the true feeling of what life is all about!

We know it sounds a bit extra, but anyone who has been to Camp Nice will tell you the same! This year saw Camp Nice bloom even more beautifully. A super diverse group of campers ebbing and flowing to and from camp made each day a completely different adventure, there was no way to know which way the vibe would swing. Merit badges were won, arts & crafts were created, boats were raced, waterfalls were discovered, haunted cabins were braved, fires blazed, and epic meals were created and shared. We’d watch the sun come up and then do it all over again!

Camp Nice would not have been what it was without our amazing partners this year.

Receptra Naturals – From CBD infused tea rituals every morning to CBD ointment for post-canoe shoulders, and even a CBD extract to help the Camp Nice canines keep calm in the woods, Receptra truly helped us “Make it Nice.” Their “Hang Up, Be Healthy” no cellphone merit badge was amongst the most coveted and only the most dedicated completed the challenge of 24 full hours without a phone check!

People Footwear – Every camper received a pair of People’s Cypress insulated moccasins that were essential all day and all night comfort.

Arvin Goods – Arvin hooked up a specially packaged Camp Nice sustainable sock meaning everyone had dry feet, even after surviving the few storms that rolled in.

Raen Optics – All campers got to hit the lake in style from Raen’s full range of sunglasses. Some people never even took them off!

Burton Snowboards – Burton’s Camp Nice accessory pack was the perfect size to keep all camp essentials at close hand.

Mizu – This years official Camp Nice mug came from Mizu as did a set of camp cutlery including chop sticks for all campers. Even back in the real world, its all you need to eat and drink and be completely green.

D’Angelico Guitars – From sunset sessions to late night crooning, D’Angelico provided the strings for Camp Nice’s merry musicians.

Austin Eastciders – Who knew camping and cider went so well. From the fully stocked Dardy Bar, Austin Eastciders were a hit from the first sip of the day to the last before bed. They mix great in cocktails too!

Old Blue Last – You’d be hard pressed to look across Camp Nice and not spot OBL’s signature gold can in multiple hands. Ice cold was the way to go.

El Buho Mezcal – When it came to late night libations in front of the fire, The Owl delivered every time.

Don Julio, Bulleit Bourbon & Ketel One Vodka – Our generous liquor sponsors meant that this years Camp Nice never feared a drought and tasty cocktails were always on deck!

We could continue on for days but words ultimately just don’t do Camp Nice justice, so without further ado, please enjoy our Camp Nice Recap Extravaganza in film photos by Craig Wetherby after the jump. To everyone that came, thank you! And to those that didn’t, there’s always next year!

#WeMakeItNice

Calling all Camp Nicers!

Welcome!

We’re BACK!

First things first…Fire Badge EARNED!!

Paul Park & Akira Ruiz were the first ones to get things LIT! CONGRATS FELLAS!

Next was tent set up! Sable & Siggy were pros!

Nice work ladies!

Marcus & Brenda earned some nice frosty Austin Eastciders after setting up theirs too!

Sumo was chillin…

Being out in nature is pretty amazing!

Tono was feeling right at home…

Vlad wasted no time earning his badge at the Arts & Crafts zone…

Chenoah was putting her special touch on things…

Sophie & Nina were doing their thing too!

Everything was coming together quite nicely…

This year we hung a Photo Exhibit in the trees…

It was pretty special…

Our friends at Arvin Goods even provided some new elements for us to experiment with…

And peeps got crafty…Tie-dye socks!!

All the colors were poppin!

We were now ready to CHILLLL…

And chef up some proper grilled cheese sandwiches & S’mores!

Everyone was cheffin it up! The Camp Nice Survival Knife was extremely useful…

Our new Camp Nice x Bien Conectao Domino Table was getting broken in too!

Ranger Larry was ready to serve up some Merit Badges!

And Alex, Christina, and Victoria were ready to earn some!

We knew the party was about to get crackin once Yasmin & Shadi showed up!

Party Time!

YURP!

Someone was extremely happy to have escaped the city! Thank you Shadi!

As always, Shadi was a happy camper…

Lights Out!

Pat was extra chillaxed too…

Nothing some morning hibiscus ginger tea infused with Receptra couldn’t cure!

It had Pat focused and ready to earn his Archery Badge!

It was about to get very serious at the Archery Range!

Sasha was not playing around!

She was on point!

Style points EARNED!

Next up was YAZ!

Yung Sig showed em how its done!

VIKING BLÜD FOR THE WIN!

Things were jumpin off at the lake too!

BOOM!

WE HAVE ARRIVED!

Marcus did his first handstand ever! HA!

Everybody was soaking it all in…

Handstands all around!

Mermaids began to come out to play…

Melissa earned her Mermaid Badge!

So did Akira…

Ranger Larry was off duty…

But Akira was on double duty! Boating Badge EARNED!

Gotta love the aquatic life!

Boat Posse!

Being on boat is super relaxing…

AWW YEAHHH!

Good times…

Arts & Crafts can be peaceful too…

Every piece was unique…

Siggy looked pleased with her creation…

Paul had all angles covered…

Little birdie was watching!

Now it was time to feast!

After a long hard day at camp Blue & Whiskey got the RedHook SnackBar popped off!

It was very official! We even had Bahn Mi hot dogs & vegan dogs!

Everybody ate good!

Especially our vegan friends…

YUM!

Our Mizu Camp Mugs & Utensils made enjoying this meal EXTRA NICE!

Time to rejoice!

Fed and happy…

Smiles are contagious…

Dardy Bar got crackin!

Float on…

Bottoms UP!

 Haunted Cabin Mission Accomplished!

Spooky AF!

Corey Nimoy earned his Space Explorer Badge! Live Long And Prosper!

Breakfast at Blotto’s Cafe was always so nice!

Kristian was ready to serve it up too!

Chenoah, The High Priestess, was in fine form!

Marcus did his second handstand ever and his form was definitely improving!

He really was a natural…

Anna was enjoying the good vibes too!

What a lovely day…

Dinner was served!

Hawaiian Luau!

Lined up…Heads were HUNGRY!

VERY SERIOUS!

We all felt blessed!

Full of love and good eats…

Even the pups ate right at Camp Nice!

Especially with a little Receptra CBD pet friendly enhancement!

Right Kenga!?!

Yup! We had calzones…

ILL Forno pizza on hot stone…Thats right!

Who else brought their A-Game??

Looks like Lady Blood came for it!

Toasty!

Toastiest!

Now thats a nice fire!

Still smokin…

And Steezy…

Back at the range competition was getting heavy!

Ranger Larry set it off!

Timbo gave him a run for his money…

Akira was trying to take home the big W!

But Sig Nasty was FIERCE!

Extra sharp!

Wonder Twinz Activate!

TWINNING!

Iliana had all the ladies lookin fly!

RUTHLESS!

OOOF!

Melissa was going for the $$$!

Shooter Shooting Shooter!

No CornBalls Allowed!

Friendly Creatures Only!

Like this little guy! Nature Badge EARNED!

Right Pat?

Pat gets it…

One last boat mission before the rain really started to come down…

Tono reeled in a nice one!

Looked like a mean storm was brewin!

Peace!

One last dip…

Here she comes…

Ok…guess we should get out now…

We out!

Time to rig up some tarps…

Blue got his!

Still all smiles…

Still stocked up! Old Blue Last Beer kept us well hydrated!

Still earning Fire Badges…

HOT FIYAH!

‘Twas a lovely nite…

New day…New arrivals…The Dardys came thru!!

George made it!

Someone dropped this guy off with all is baggage!

The band was finally back together!

You know Ricky had to see what was cookin in the kitchen…

Pat & Sheena were choppin it up!

Chenoah was making some magic happen!

Dardy Bar!

Top shelf only!

STAXXX O’ CIDER!

The Funky Camp Counselor was up bright and early!

RING RING!

Ricky rolls with his film crew everywhere he goes lately…Eamon & Jasper were the right ones to get the job done!

Who got next??

FOUL!!!

Ricky settled back into his element…

Ahhhh…

ZOOTED…!

Ahoy…

The Rickster putting in work…

Always Chillin tho…

Fine catch!

Yeah George!

Timbo got STAXXX too!

All in a days work at camp…It takes a village!

Indigo Dipped!

Tono is the screen print master!

Jessie got all the D’Angelico guitars nice and tuned up!

Lil guy was just getting warmed up!

Ricky was enchanted by China’s serenade…

Had to keep the bocce courts maintained…

Of course Pat was good at bocce too…

Good nite…

Still loungin…

Ice cold ciders were on deck…

ICYYYY…

Feelin strong!

Meteorite meet up spot…

Link up…Light UP!

That was fun!

Todd rode his bike nearly 100 Miles from NYC to join us! Definitely earned mad respect!! Check out @concretetrails

We ROOOLLIN…Aimz & Rachael were riding in style!

Uncle Sloppy Strikes Again!

Who’s down for a game of N-I-C-E!?!

Erika, Daniel & Flynt settled in nicely too!

Bacon & Beans…

Creative Recreation…

Stencil art made possible by Doomed NYC…Thanks again Rachael!

EARNED!

Nice to let the mind go sometimes…

Timbo was in the zone…

Another fine catch!

Dusk turned to dark real fast but the full moon was beaming upon us…

Horseshoe tourney was just getting started…

Monihan was starting to feel the effects…

Banging treats stayed on repeat…

China’s Mental Lentil Soup was on another level…

Jimmy couldn’t hold it together…the anticipation of what was to come was too overwhelming!

But greatness requires patience…

Another satisfied customer!

Daniel earned himself a Cooking Badge…

And yeah Becky made PIZZA…

And then went in on her finest creation yet…White Sweet Potato & Apple Cobbler made with El Buho Mezcal!

Here we go!

Hot coals are the only way! Blast OFF!

EARNED IT ALL!

Aww yeah!

Thats right!

Success!

Refresh!

Soul Sistas!

Waterfall Squad!

It was all love back at camp…

Kenga!!!

Woodsman Badge EARNED!

Bird House Workshop in session…

TWEET TWEET!

Pumpkin Carving was also going down…

Precious ingredients…

Jimmy was pretty tech with it…

NICEEEE…

Fireside vibes were just right…

El Buho kept us all nice & smokey…

And Receptra Naturals complimented Chen’s Tea varieties in the most organic way…

What a delight!

Outdoor Tech also gave us that extra boost when we needed it most!

Anyone like a Spritz?

Yes! Everyone wanted to get their Aperol Spritz on!

YUP!

Wise man say “You may attend a party where strange customs prevail…”

Nothing Strange going on here…Just DJ Smoke bringing that FIRE!

Stranger things were about to go down tho…

We were all starting to get pretty spacey…

Cosmic creatures were everywhere…

They came in all forms…

Dardy got game!

BECKY EARNED ERRRYYYYTHANGG!

The Illy Funkster & Willy Soul dropped some heat too!

Selections were too NICE!

And then we went there…Chenoah sparked the charge!

WHOAAAA!

Everyone loves sparklers…

Light UP!

TRIPPY…

Shit got Extra Terrestrial…

What an epic last nite!

And morning…

Oh what a nite!

Sent IT!

Kept the good vibes going…

Til the last drop…

Kenga couldn’t sleep all nite either…

Last breakfast sandwich…Perfection!

Final catch…

Sharing is caring…

Courtney cared a little too much!

Last sunset was magical…

Becky was pretty magical too!

Time to say our goodbyes…Ranger Larry signing off!

It was extra nice…

‘Til next year! Thank you all for joining & surviving Camp Nice 2018 with us!