#like.... you actually make surface level assumptions about ppl bc of the way they look??? ���
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bitches really be treating you like a dumb bimbo when you're blonde huh
#just put that context into a lot of my interactions I had as a kid and its all starting to make sense why people were such assholes#i mean that and the likely autism but its not *just* the autism#this one guy would call me 'doll face' for wearing make up in spite of the fact that everyone else wore make up too ????????#dawg what lmao??#and yall im sure also assumed I must have some sort of massive amount of privilege and am spoiled or something too even though#i was abused all the time casually at home...??#it never made sense to me- the blonde stereotypes- bc everything ppl assumed I was like was exactly what my sister was like#but bc shes brunette people just *assumed* she was more 'down to earth' in spite of being quite possibly evil incarnate#and lo and behold shes a qanon nut now.... but sure guys#my hair color must totally paint who I am as a person fer sure#nevermind that I was a child and barely a whole person to begin with.#it also didnt make sense to me as a kid bc my mom- the reason I have blonde hair- is one of the smartest ppl I knew so I figured it was#more of. essentially. a meme rather than something that actually influenced ppls opinion and perspective of me#it just sounds like a really really brain dead way to try to navigate the world by. so i never really took it seriously or thought it#was actually a thing people do.............#like.... you actually make surface level assumptions about ppl bc of the way they look??? 😬#couldnt be me. and it never was me either! but im sure you assumed I was like that huh :/#it was like we just came out of the era of blondes being seen as the Most Conventionally Attractive and then everyone was like#'alright we need to get back at those horrible terrible blondes!' and then decided to treat me like shit#in spite of me growing up outside of that time where blondes were seen as the Most Attractive so I had 0 context for why ppl were assholes#and obviously I felt it was super unwarranted
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from the way jaewon just naturally takes care of jihyun it really shows that he actually likes taking care of ppl. yeah he's scared of being disliked but he also likes putting in effort and looking after those he likes, those ppl he feels responsible for. somehow thou, almost every friend he's made since day one turned out to be someone conceited and selfish and took his love and care for granted. somehow the same ppl he put so much effort into learning about took what they know of him at surface level and built a version of him they envied. and now he can't break free from it bc he's already bone-deep tired and doesn't think he can deal w the consequences of ppl finding who he really is and how he really feels.
jihyun's a reminder of why he loved being around ppl. bc the right ppl accept your love tenderly, and give you back the same or more. and for so long he's only loved the wrong ppl and now finally he can see who was right for him and who wasn't. only two of his relationships rn are reciprocal - jihyun and yoonwon. what's really exceptional about his relationship w jihyun is that jihyun actually knows nothing about him. almost everything he knows about jaewon comes from jaewon himself and for someone who talks so much, jaewon does not talk about himself. but jihyun thinks jaewon is incredible despite not knowing he's a rich kid w connections or that being assigned to his group for a group project guarantees an a grade. jihyun can see he's popular but also sees that he gets stressed. jihyun sees he's nice to everyone but also appreciates the sincerity behind his kindness. jihyun takes him as he is, no assumptions or expectations and treats him w a kind of reverence jaewon gets high on.
and w every passing minute they spend together jaewon's learning smth about himself, learning how awfully he's been treated by the rest around him, learning that it is possible to receive just as much and more in a relationship, learning that he can be loved even when he comes off as someone who picks fights drunk and makes the shittiest drawings and runs away after initiating a kiss. he's learning that he can be forgiven when he fucks up and that he doesn't need to be perfect to be loved.
and it makes hanging out w his friends so much more difficult. bc now jaewon has ppl who treat him better, he starts to accept that he maybe deserves better. but jaewon's at a stage where everything feels too late and meaningless. what's the point of screwing years of friendship just months before he leaves and everything will fade anyway?
i think jaewon's nature will probably be best explained once his relationship w his parents is explored. often times kids grow into ppl pleasers when they grow up trying to please a difficult parent (his father i'm guessing). seeing how jaewon's already began revolting against his parents means he's likely not too far off from his breaking point. whether jihyun acts as a catalyst or hinderance to this process is what will probably determine if he'll choose to fight for this at least or if it's the first thing he'll give up.
#most personality problems are a result of parents#i really wanna know more about his home situation#how he grew up and all that#love it when we're given such three dimensional characters that ur as curious about them as u would be about a real person#the eighth sense#thoughts.txt
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Hi,pal! I'm loving "It's the perfect story"! However, the subject I'm talking about doesn't directly to the fic. By what I know, people don't hate Silena because she was the spy,it's more like they think her being seduced/manipulated into doing it is detracting to her character. Many posts say that's very insulting to teen girls, or her cause should be something like "her cabin was being disrespected"(out of character IMO, but I'll talk about it later)...
Continuation. Or “the demigods were being mistreated by the gods”(not a bad one,but Silena didn’t really feel the worst of the gods IMO. Not like Luke, Chris or Tori in the fic). People are entitled to their opinions, but I disagree. About the “disrespected cabin stuff”,Silena is defensive in a blunt, straightforward way when it happens. Examples: how she wanted to fight the Huntresses when they said love was worthless;or when people were surprised by her magic knowledge,and she looked offended.
Cont. Besides, those behaviors show that Silena can be quite passionate and proud, what probably made her vulnerable to manipulation(her romantic nature didn’t help). Besides, Silena herself thought she was saving lives. I believe Luke’s words would sound truer to her if she cared about him than from a dispassionate perspective. Besides, if Luke managed to lure Percy to near death with a friendly smile and soda,despite Percy’s instincts saying no,I believe he could do it to Silena…
Cont. By what I read, your only issue was the age. However, I think that was something like “death of the author” in canon,as she didn’t get one. In fact, I rather like the idea of Silena being an older camper,including than Charles(if 18 years old girls date boys in their 20’s…),both in canon and in your fic. In your fic,it could make her Tori ’ s peer. In canon,it’d fit the whole “role model” stuff we had going on HoO.
what’s up dude! thanks, i’m glad to hear you’re enjoying it!
that’s how i interpreted it when i read the books (or how i remember interpreting it, at least, i haven’t read the series in a while) like, being the spy meant she was a traitor, which is also a comment abt her character (i.e., may she’s not the greatest person–for the lack of a better word–bc she was a traitor). when clarisses declares she’s a hero, i assumed it was supposed to be juxtaposed to her being a traitor. which is a roundabout way to say that the ultimate end is the same, whereas the perspective is different? but i can see where others are coming from–that the campers would be more mad bc of the fact that she was easily manipulated by luke, rather than her being the spy
i guess i can see where ppl are coming from regarding it being an insult to teen girls (i’d really like to see those posts tho, bc i actually haven’t seen anyone talk abt that–i somehow manage to avoid discourse like we’re two opposing magnets, my d-list x-men power), bc it plays off the stereotype that teen girls are so boy crazy, they’re easily manipulated by any good-looking guy that smiles in their direction. it doesn’t help that she’s a child of aphrodite. and what i mean by that is, i think, ppl often water down what aphrodite is the goddess of. when ppl say, “she’s the goddess of love and beauty” ppl often think she’s the goddess of, “being vain and romantic/sexual love” (not true btw, fite me, i will gladly jump into that discourse)
but anyway, back to my main point, i can see how it may play off a teen girl stereotype (rick is good at doing that sometimes, which isn’t entirely his fault, bc like i said abt toxic masculinity, it’s so ingrained in our society, it’s hard to unlearn and we often fall into those stereotypes if we’re not fully aware of them and consciously thinking about them), but i also don’t entirely agree with that argument, either
now i could be wrong, esp since i haven’t read any of this discourse, so i haven’t read ppl’s reasoning or arguments, but it sounds very surface-level White Feminism™ and what i mean by that is that there are more grey areas to this argument, okay, so put away your pitchforks and put out your torches and, i mean, also that this argument is coming from ppl who want to seem like they’re woke, but then turn around and continue to do or say things that are insidiously bigoted
like i said, i can see how it plays into a stereotype, but if we’re going by rick’s canon (which we totally don’t have to, but for this argument’s sake we are) she’s young and impressionable, luke is handsome and charming–if another young person were in her position, we’d probably see the same thing. young ppl are easy to manipulate, they just are. they’re still learning abt the world, and how it works, and that maybe not everyone has good intentions. not to mention they’re still trying to find themselves, and they look to peers, mentors, and ppl who are respected (for whatever reason) for cues to how they should act and think. it’s like trying on clothes or taste-testing foods–they’re trying out opinions. if they don’t like the “taste” of an opinion, then they learn, grow, and change. some ppl instantly connect with an opinion (which could be bigoted or not) and not explore further, or could be sheltered and just not have the opportunity to experience anything else.
the opinion here: the gods are bad. the person she’s looking to for guidance: luke. plain and simple
and, as you say anon, percy even fell for luke’s charms (despite the warning signs!! and percy is most def Not Straight, so luke was also using that fact against percy as well, whether rick luke knew it or not). so, ya know, there ya go
now, i think rick chose a child of aphrodite, and a girl, bc he thought he was turning a trope on its head–you’d never expect (from the stereotype of what aphrodite stands for) silena to be a spy, to work for kronos of all ppl titans. do you see what i mean? i think he was going for an elle woods effect–except in the polar opposite direction. the ends is the same, where this girl who is often underestimated (like elle) turns out to do something no one expected of her (in silena’s case, being the spy, which takes a lot of guts, nerve, and smarts–the opposite of what ppl expect from aphrodite, based on a reductive stereotype)
and that’s where the real issue lies, not that she was a teen girl, but rather some of the decisions the author made under wrong assumptions
i agree that the alternatives aren’t as sincere or make as much sense. silena didn’t experience a whole lot of strife regarding her mom or the gods in general, so she’d have no reason to hate them as luke does–she’d have no reason to be the spy for luke if he were to simply use that argument to get her to kronos’s side. and maybe she would’ve joined kronos under “her cabin was being disrespected,” however, it was’t being disrespected by the gods themselves, right? not like the minor gods, not like nemesis or hecate. the disrespect comes more from the ppl around her–the ppl who assume the wrong things abt aphrodite when they hear the words “love” and “beauty.” so that alternative reason doesn’t hold a lot of water if you really think abt it
i also agree with you: that her passion and pride made her more easily manipulated, and also that luke’s words would mean more coming from a more passionate and personal perspective. luke fed her lines that played into her character (like how kronos fed luke lines that played into his hatred for the gods). if she felt passionate abt helping save ppl (and it’s coming from someone she likes, someone she looks up to), then she’d be the spy for sure. if she had a crush on luke, more for him to use against her, right? that’s just how it goes sometimes, ya know? her crush are her rose-colored glasses, add that on top of “you’d be saving lives” and, well, luke’s got her wrapped around kronos’s finger
yeah, the age thing is a big sticking point for me, just bc based on the timeline of things, she’s several years younger than luke (which make his kiss, in my story, really gross). if beckendorf was going to college during tlo, he was probably at the least 18, and silena was probably around the same age. by this time, luke is 23, so that means that she’s abt 5 years younger? is five years a huge deal between older ppl (like mid- to late-twenties and beyond)? not at all. but with younger ppl (teens and early twenties), it’s a HUGE gap in age, and a HUGE deal.
but like you say, i think rick is hitting that point of “death of the author” (esp with more recent events…btw, jason is totally alive and well, and if you think or try to tell me differently, then you can meet me in a denny’s parking lot at 3am), so we can totes not follow canon and age both silena and beckendorf up. not to mention, there’s no specific age that ppl go to college (just in general most ppl starting college are from 17-20) so it’s completely fine for beckendorf to be going to college at 22, 23. and a 2 yr age difference (regarding beckendorf at 20, dating silena at 18) is totes better than a 5 yr difference for sure
i really like tori and silena being peers, and i if i had been more comfortable breaking canon (and knew what i know now, then), it would’ve been fun to write (but eeeyyy, it’s fun to think abt, so there may be headcanons in your future regarding this). finally, you’re right, i think it would make “silena as a role model” so much more powerful if she had been/was older in canon
thanks for sending these in! i had a lot of fun talking and thinking abt all the points you brought up/made, and i hope to continue this discussion, if you want!
#oh god for shame! i do not even know your name#notesofananonymousnight#asked and answered#silena beauregard#pjo meta#washingdad writes
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