#like. in all seriousness this entire thing just makes me love humans so much. man.

[chillichats]

hi is anyone else filled with unhinged glee when they see cc’s panic or cry or otherwise show genuine emotional attachment to the eggs or is that just me. i saw quackity get genuinely choked up during those 5 minutes with tilin and just. an unholy grin spread across my face. even the CREATOR of this server is hit with the egg brain worms. its fucking great.

[bandgie]

Hi! I ABSOLUTELY LOVED your Beast of a Man tarzan!smut. Seriously it was so engaging and you wrote him so well (HES SO HOT AGHH). He's such a hot character idk why others don't write about him, I'm starved for Tarzan fics...

Could you please make a part 2 to the smut? You have such a great/smutty idea going I would love to see you continue it!!

It would mean everything to me!

( ^◡^)

a/n: hi yes thank you so much and ofc! it's been so long since I've written smut on Tarzan so please bear with me! (fic anon is referring to here)

synopsis: You have successfully brought back the ape-man for research. Despite behaving like an animal, he's a lot more human in more ways than you originally thought.

warnings: MDNI 18+, recording during sex, oral (m!), 69ing, semi-public oral sex, cumming in mouth (m!&f!), rough throat fucking (f!rec), cum eating (m!&f!)

2.8k words

"Who the fuck is this?!"

Your colleagues screamed and ran upon seeing who, more like what, you brought back to camp. They hopped up on tables and held up papers as weapons. They eyed you both wearily, on the verge of tears as you stood just a few feet away.

"I think that's a bit extreme," you sigh. 

The ape-man was beside you, clinging onto your leg like a child would do with a mother. He, too, was very wary around these strangers. You could hear him grunting and pulling at you as if keeping you from getting too close. 

Cute yes, but this would mean it would take a lot of work to build trust in the entire group.

Slowly, the fellow researchers began to try and communicate with the man. Talking slowly and softly, just like you showed them to. All of you agreed that this being could be the missing link, the answer to the question anthropologists have tried to find for decades.

It took over a month for everyone to be comfortable around one another, but of course, another issue was raised. 

"So does he just not have a name?" Professor Porter asked. 

As of now, you all were just calling him 'the ape-man' or 'hey you' to get his attention. It never crossed your mind to give him an actual name. 

"We're not gonna name that beast," Clayton butted his way into the conversation. Clayton, as big and strong as he was, seems the most afraid of your new friend. He's hostile, rude, and arrogant. Even if the ape-man cannot understand the words thrown at him, he can feel them.

The best thing to do in these situations was to ignore Clayton, he just loves the sound of his own voice. 

"No," you turn your attention back to the professor. "Not that I know of at least. Should we come up with one?"

"Oh great," there's heavy sarcasm laced in Clayton's voice. "Here you are naming a dog you're not even gonna keep."

"With no due respect Clayton, please shut the fuck up," Terk, the youngest of you, speaks. Terk is small for his age, but he has built. A hairy man who's lively, talkative, and one of the natives that live here. He and the ape-man get along well, a little too well sometimes.

Clayton flips Terk the bird.

"A name for him would be nice, yes." The professor looks as though he's sweating from the tense atmosphere. "Do come up with one dear, I think the missing link would rather you do it."

It's no secret that the ape-man prefers you over the other researchers. He's constantly at your hip, following you like you have an invisible leash on him. Your colleagues, however, don't know how close you two actually are. 

The conversation stays in your head for the rest of the day. A name. A name. Something everyone has yet is unbelievably difficult to come up with. Hundreds of possibilities run through your mind as you carry out your daily tasks. Even the ape-man, who's used to you ruffling his hair, grows confused about your behavior.

Nightfall comes with everyone in their tents and you still haven't come up with a name. 

With a groan, you turn on your side to see the very person who's making you struggle already looking at you. His eyes are dark, but the candle in your tent lights up his features just enough. You reach out and brush a lock of hair out of his face, watching how he moves to try and get you to touch his skin.

You settle with resting the palm of your hand on his cheek, rubbing your thumb over it. 

"A name," you tsk. You narrow your eyes and let your gaze travel over his body. He needs to look like his name, that's a must. "Hey, do you know what a name is?"

He doesn't answer. 

"Something to call you. That's a name. Do you have one?"

He stares at you.

Well, this is going to be harder than you thought. 

Pursing your lips, you say the first name that comes to mind, "Edward?"

He reacts to that. His calm expression turns into a scowl, bushy eyebrows coming together. You quietly laugh and shake your head, "Not that one okay."

"Tony?"

He frowns.

"Taren?"

He pouts.

"Okay, okay. I think I got it...Garrett."

The ape-man groans, mimicking the behavior he's seen you do hundreds of times. It shocks you to see him act so human, so you. It's equally adorable as it is terrifying. 

He's gotten closer to you, a breath away. The proximity used to freak you out, but you've learned it’s how he shows his affection. His trust. 

The ape-man is waiting for you to say a word he likes, a sound that comes off your tongue magically. Judging from your facial expression and earlier absent behavior, this is an important task for you.

You want the name to be strong, versatile, and not easily replaceable. The being you've found is one-of-a-kind, it's only fair his name is as well. You play with a few letters in your head, bouncing them in your mind until you think of one that suits him.

"What about Tarzan then? Do you like that one?"

His pupils dilate, watching your beautiful lips pronounce the word. His word. 

"Yes."

You gasp, sitting up abruptly. Your sudden movements make him panic as he sits up with you. He scans the tent to find an intruder while you sit there stunned. 

He spoke. The ape-man no! Tarzan just spoke to you. He understood language and used it, even if it was just a mere word. A one-syllable answer that has shaken you to your core. 

"Oh my god. You just, Tarzan you just spoke. Holy shit, say it again. I need to capture this on video." You ruffle through your bag looking for your camera. 

Tarzan stops searching the tent and looks back at you looking as confused as ever. Like he didn't just display human speech in a mere month.

Quickly, you pull out the camera and hit record, aiming the lens at Tarzan's hard, yet beautiful features. 

"Repeat what you just said," you look at him through the monitor. Instead of complying, Tarzan stares blankly into the lens. "Do you like the name Tarzan?" You press.

No answer, his eyes flick from the red light to your eyes. 

"Come on! Just tell me whether or not you like the name." You're starting to grow impatient. At this point, you're convinced he's just being an ass.

Finally, he adjusts his seating position. Tarzan glances down at his crotch then back up to you, then back to his crotch. You follow his gaze, trying to understand what he's trying to say. Then it clicks. 

Compensation. If you want him to do you a favor, you have to do him one as well. 

"Are you being serious?" You sigh at him. Tarzan gives a faint nod to you. Even if he can't do so, you swear you see him smirk. Asshole. Setting the camera down, you angle it towards the two of you. Might as well have fun with it.

You crawl your way towards him, parting his thighs slightly before giving him a playful glare, "You're such a man sometimes."

Unlike before, Tarzan wears cargo shorts rather than a mere piece of clothes from last time. Professor Porter made it clear that if he was to hang amongst you all, clothes were necessary. 

They suited him nicely, even now. The way the material hugs his toned thighs, how his cock bulges through the shorts even when he isn’t hard. You couldn't help but run your hands along his muscular legs, finding his crotch.

He groaned as you palmed him, straining to not thrust his hips up. Tarzan learned to be patient with you, especially in the presence of others. Most animals didn't care whether they mated alone or in their pack. Even if Tarzan was raised by those animals, the thought of others hearing the sounds you make for him is repulsive. 

Instead, he has to settle for brushing your hair from your face as you undo his buttons. Delicate fingers unzipping the seam until his half-hard cock sprouts in your face. 

It doesn't matter how many times you've seen his dick, it makes your pussy quiver every time. All you can think about is how perfectly it stretches you, how the tip slides against your cunt deliciously. Your mouth salivates at the memory, and you let your spit drool off your tongue to land on his cock.

Tarzan loves the sigh. A pink tongue just hovering over his length. He also remembers the feeling of your hot mouth on him. The way your lips slowly come closer to the crown of his head, how your breath wafts over him. It feels euphoric when you finally make contact with him, mouth enclosing his flushed head.

It's so warm in your mouth, smooth as you lightly suck on him. The hand on your head slightly grips your hair, a sign that he likes the slow pace you've set. You hum around his cock, taking him a little deeper as you widen your jaw.

One of your hands makes way to grip the base, pulling the skin upwards in a stroking motion. 

This makes his hips jerk, gagging you for just a split second. Your wide eyes look up at him, small tears peeking at the corners. Tarzan gives an apologetic look, but the sight of your teary eyes and pretty lips around his cock makes him fuck up toward you again.

You pull away from him, earning a whine as Tarzan throws his head back dramatically. 

Maybe he thinks you're going to stop as punishment, but it's quite the opposite. Your cunt is sopping from tasting him, even if it was for a brief moment. Even if you have a task at hand, and your camera is still recording for 'research,' you have your own needs to take care of. 

Tarzan is none the wiser as you put a hand on his bare chest and lay him down. He eyes you curiously but lets you push him all the way down before hopping on top. His eyes widen as he's faced with your clothed cunt. Underwear the same color as your tongue that holds the strongest smell of you.

He doesn't need any directions as he dives his nose into you. Tarzan is obsessed with your natural smell. His nose immediately grows damp from your wetness, his tongue poking out to lick the juices that leak out.

Softly moaning, you take a hold of his cock once more. You pump it a few times before taking it into your mouth. It's surprising to see that he's not humping in your mouth like normal, but he's so distracted with your pussy that he can't seem to bother noticing his own pleasure.

It's hard to focus on his hard length as his teeth tear off your panties. You gasp when you hear the fabric split, but it turns into a whine when his tongue finally makes contact with your bare cunt. 

Tarzan has to grip your hips to keep you still. As much as he would love for you to grind on his face, he needs to have his meal first. His tongue runs over your folds, finding that little bud you love so much to be touched. 

He sucks on it and pulls, stretching your clit. Your legs shake and you have to pull away from his cock to catch your breath. Lazy hands stroke his hard-on as you look back. You clench at the sight of his unruly hair peeking above your ass, the sounds his mouth makes as he laps at you.

Turning back to your literal task at hand, you find the energy to take his cock once more. You unhinge your jaw and exhale, taking Tarzan deeper and deeper until your eyes roll back. You hollow your cheeks and suck, moving your head back up until just the tip remains in your mouth, and go all the way back down.

Now Tarzan can feel the bliss of your mouth on him. He moans into your pussy and slightly jerks his hips up, making you gag around him once more. 

Feeling you work so hard makes him want to reciprocate. He shakes his head left and right to try and bury himself deeper. He uses his grip to force you further onto his face. Tarzan's tongue finds the squeezing entrance that he's breached so many times. He digs his tongue into you, finally getting a taste of you from the source. 

He's guiding your hips so you could drag your pussy against him how you like. Tarzan can feel your hips trying to pull away from him as the feeling of his tongue has gotten too much. And it has.

You're trying to distract yourself by deepthroating him, but it's no use. All you can feel is his experienced mouth, how he remembers every detail he knows you like. You can feel your orgasm approaching, and how it builds in your stomach rapidly. 

Tarzan feels your legs shake. Your thighs trembling and giving out, full lower body weight on his face. He can taste how the wetness has changed, thicker and tart. Tarzan knows this taste like the back of his hand. You're going to cum, give him that white cream he loves licking out of you.

You've completely stopped paying attention to his dick. A part of you should feel bad for neglecting him, but you can't seem to care as Tarzan's tongue fucks you. Instead, you find yourself humping his face, his mouth following as you approach your high.

You squeal as you come, clamping a hand over your mouth as you finish. Warm gushes out of you, body quivering as the eager man under you happily drinks it all. Tarzan gulps and slurps until he's beginning dripping from the corners of his mouth. 

He takes and takes until you're the one having to tell him no more, that you can't handle another orgasm. 

Tarzan hears the desperation in your voice, the way you plead. It takes strength for him to pull away from your pussy, a soft growl emitting from his chest. 

Then his thighs wrap around your head, securing you in front of his cock. You have no time to question him as you involuntarily take his cock into your mouth.

There's so much pre-cum dripping from the slit that all you can taste is its saltiness. He's throbbing, fucking his hips into your mouth as he holds you still with his legs. 

All you can do is take it. Lips wrapping around his girth as he desperately slides his dick in and out. You gag and silently plead for Tarzan to be gentler, but he's having none of it. Your hands warp around his thighs to steady yourself, your head bobbing uncontrollably to match his movements.

Tarzan twitches in your mouth once, stilling his hips deep into your throat. Tears immediately prick your eyes and fall down your face, and you swear your vision goes black for a fraction of a second before he pulls out. You get the chance to gasp for air as he lines up his cock to your lips again and shoves it back in.

You think you might pass out. You're at the mercy of Tarzan, and he's still unable to see how much stronger he is than the average man. Your mouth is nothing but a fleshlight to him as he makes you choke around him. It makes you feel like a toy, a warm hole for him to fuck his seed into.

And you wouldn't have it any other way.

The familiar twitch in his cock occurs again. Once, twice, then three times before he unloads in your mouth. Hot spurts of his cum find themselves in your throat, forcing you to gulp it down. 

Tarzan's hips slow, letting his cock drag against your lips before he finally pulls out. You cough and pant as his orgasm drips from your tongue. 

His thighs release you and you promptly plop down on them. You feel his hands rub soothingly over the curve of your ass, up and down your thighs. And an extra apology, Tarzan presses a kiss to your throbbing pussy. You chuckle and kiss his thigh back before sitting up, hoping off his face. 

You have to crawl to grab your camera, breathing a sigh of relief to see the red light still shining. You aim the lens at his face as he too sits up. You can see the arousal on his face from eating you out, his swollen lips, and messy hair.

"So," you start. "Tell me, Tarzan, did you like that?"

Tarzan's lips quirk into what you think is a smile before he looks at you directly through the camera. 

"Yes."

a/n: holy fuck I dont think y'all know how hard this was. I kinda went all out for the first one so the second one was hard as hell to match lmaooo. I physically and mentally can't do a third installment. this is the final one sowwy also I added some characters from the film! hopefully you caught that, I made Terk human, Tarzan needed a friend even if it's a fanfic

[eli0004]

Levi Ackerman NSFW Alphabet

Pairing: sub!Levi x Reader

Warnings: msub, dominance, degradation, praise, some heavy kink activity and whatnot, mentions of insecurity

(AN: I’m sorry this took me forever, but I was thrilled about this request because I LOVVVVE smut alphabets. Please feel free to request more, or ask for further elaboration on anything in this one! 💜)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

When Levi is coming down from the high of his orgasm, he can’t hide the fact that he’s feeling good. He’ll lie there with you, head on your chest as his shoulders rise and fall while he catches his breath. You can stroke his hair and run your thumb over his cheek, and he’ll turn to gaze up at you with soft, sleepy eyes. It’s really a treat to see this side of him, so relaxed and pliant. And if you’re lucky, you could watch his eyes flutter closed, and hear his soft snores as he drifts off to sleep.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He isn’t confident about much, but i can see Levi being confident in his jawline. I envision him turning his head to the side and taking his straight razor down his neck, scraping off the shaving cream and admiring, even if it’s only for a moment, the sharpness and angularity of it.

On you? Is it a cop out to say everything? How could you even ask him to pick something when he loves all of you so much? But, in all seriousness, I think Levi would find “unique” features very attractive. If you have a larger nose, vitiligo, lots of freckles, stretch marks, surgery scars…etc etc. If you’re insecure about it, Levi loves it.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

I think he’d prefer to cum either inside or catch it somewhere for easy clean up, but his orgasms, more often than not, tend to be quick and intense. He’s cumming before he can really even think about where to do it. If you’re giving him head, he’ll feel himself getting closer and closer and he’ll writhe and paw at your hair, but the scorching pleasure tends to make his brain short circuit, and he can’t find the words to warn you. Recognizing body language is very important when in bed with Levi.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

I feel like, from time to time, Levi imagines what it would be like to fully dedicate himself to submitting to you. Allowing you to make the smallest decisions for him, how to spend his money, when to eat or drink, when - and where - to use the restroom. I believe he fantasizes a bit about life as a lifestyle sub, living entirely for you and what makes you feel happy. It’s what makes him happy.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

My personal favorite is inexperienced/virgin Levi, but if we’re being realistic i’d say he’s at least got a hand job or two under his belt. I think given his past, and how he grew up, he doesn’t place as much emphasis on sex and sexual experience as your average man. If you ask him, it’s just a normal thing that people do, it’s human nature to chase after pleasure.

Then again I also think, perhaps given the more traumatic aspect to his past, there’s a high possibility that he has some underlying negative feelings about it, whether he realizes it or not. When in a relationship, i think it likely takes many months before he feels comfortable enough to indulge in the act. But once he does, he can be a bit insatiable at times.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Riding!! Levi likes to be beneath you, but this certainly doesn’t mean you’ll be doing all the work. He’ll do his best to make you feel just as good as you make him feel, roaming his hands over your thighs, chest, thumbing over your clit/tip. He likes when you cup his jaw and tilt his head to force eye contact. You can watch him struggle to keep his eyes open while he’s dizzy from the pleasure.

If he’s feeling extra mushy gushy, he might like missionary, pressing his body tightly against yours and all but laying on top of you. He’ll bury his face into your neck and grunt and groan softly against your skin as he thrusts slow and deep. Run your fingers through his hair and gently tug, scratch down his back, he fucking lives for that.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

To Levi, sex and intimacy is an act of worship. To praise your body and your heart and to show his gratitude and gratefulness for the way you love him. He’s far too enamored, too consumed by emotion to even think about being unserious.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He keeps neatly trimmed, but he’ll only shave if he fucks up the trim somehow. That said, it’s Levi we’re talking about, meticulous is his middle name. When would he ever fuck up anything? So, neatly trimmed it is, dark, course and it thins out into a sexy little line that comes up just below his belly button. Happy trail supremacy 😩

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

As previously stated, sex with Levi doesn’t exist without intimacy. This man is nothing if not passionate, and he puts everything he has into it, just to show you what you mean to him.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Levi rarely gets off on his own, i think it makes him uncomfortable to be so hormone driven. When he goes a while without seeing you, he’ll ignore those random erections and push away the horny thoughts until it becomes unbearable, and only then will he take care of himself.

However, i think Levi is a big fan of mutual masturbation. He likes having your eyes on him while he strokes himself, the way you gaze at him like you’ve never seen a sight so mouth-watering, so mesmerizing. It boosts his confidence ten-fold. When he’s getting closer, his hand will speed up and his jaw will go slack, you can watch him hunch over himself as he cums, balls tightening and contracting as he spurts over his knuckles.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Levi likes to challenge you when he’s feeling a bit more freaky. When there’s a lot of sexual tension between the both of you, he likes to be put in his place. In those moments, he can be a bit of a brat.

He likes to be teased, though he often pretends not to. If you want to build up that tension, you can send him sexy looks, touch him when no one is looking, get him all flustered just to walk away and make him wait. He’ll call you a tease, tell you you’re being mean, but it’s clear that he loves it by the way he seeks you out for more.

Manhandling? He’s a sucker for someone who can push him around, force eye contact with a firm grip on his jaw, back him up against the nearest surface for some steamy kisses.

Praise and degradation. When he’s being good, dote on that man. Tell him he’s your good boy, dish out all the rewards. When he’s being a pain in your ass, a little condescending degradation gets him all hot and bothered. Caress his cheek with a sweet smile and tell him he’d better cut the attitude before you leave him to fuck his fist like the horny little bitch he is.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

It’s a common headcannon that he’d most prefer shower sex, and while i do think he’d enjoy it for obvious reasons, i think he’d also be fond of the intimate aspect of doing it in low lighting, trapped between the bedsheets, when he’s feeling a bit more soft.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

When you care for him. His main love language is acts of service, that’s a no-brainer at this point, but it works both ways. You cooked a meal for him? He’s gonna have you for dessert.

Levi has very little experience with feeling loved, so the quickest way to turn him on is to baby him, regardless of how he might pretend he doesn’t need it. Three words: do it anyway. And seeing you do it as if loving him is like second nature is a sure way to have him all over you.

And if you initiate, it’s even better. Show him how much you want him, when you’re kissing and grinding up on each other, slip his hand between your legs to feel the effect he has on you. Knowing he turns you on, that you want him just as badly as he wants you, that sort of thing gets him hard embarrassingly quick.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

It’s hard to say, because most of the time Levi would do just about anything you ask him, especially if he trusts you. But i don’t think he’d be too much of a fan of blood/knife play or emeto/scat. Essentially, no infliction of real lasting pain, and nothing that is, in his eyes, “unhygienic”. He sees enough of that in his day to day life and derives no sexual pleasure from it.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He may not be a pro, but Levi learns by watching how you react. If you twitch or throb or quiver when he licks you there, he’ll double down and drive you wild. Going down on you isn’t his favorite way to get you off, but he would spend an eternity between your legs if you asked him to.

In terms of himself, Levi doesn’t always understand why you’d want to put him in your mouth, but he’ll never complain. He keeps himself nice and groomed, clean and he’ll never force your head unless you asked him to. He doesn’t know where to put his hands and his breathing gets a bit shaky when you’re kissing down his tummy. But all that nervousness dissipates the second he feels your tongue swirl around his tip, too drunk on pleasure to be so cautious.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

It depends on how he’s feeling, if he’s in a more relaxed and romantic mood he may prefer gentle touching and body worship, whether you’re doing the fucking or he is. He likes those slow, deep strokes, so he can feel every inch, in and out.

If he’s feeling moody or stressed, or even simply pent up, Levi is ready to get his back blown out. He likes it face down, ass up. Or if you’re on top, have a firm grip on his throat and force eye contact as you slam down on/into him. The quickest way to hear those pretty little sounds.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Levi doesn’t mind them, but always expect more later. Quickies are more of a warm up, or a form of foreplay in his eyes. Especially if you use him to get yourself off and leave him hanging. It sounds mean, but sometimes he likes you a little mean. It’s always worth it when you milk him dry later anyway.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

In the beginning, new ideas are met with some level of skepticism. Over time, the more trust is established, the mo comfortable he becomes, the more he’s willing to try new things. He knows you’d never steer him wrong or force him into an uncomfortable situation, but it’s crucial that he feels safe enough to speak up when he’s not feeling it.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He’s not as energetic as he used to be, but he can go a couple times with breaks in between. Overstimulation puts him in subspace pretty easily too, so don’t be afraid to test his limits.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Vibrators vibrators vibrators!!! He loves them! He won’t say it, but when you pull out your little bullet, Levi feels such a wave of excitement. He always cums twice as hard when you suck him off with it pressed up against his taint, or trace it over his balls. If you want to tease him extra good, you can ghost it over his tip and watch his thighs start to tremble.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Levi doesn’t tease as much as he tests your boundaries. When he wants to be put in his place, you’ll know by the way he isn’t as quick to follow directions, or his sarcastic remarks when you’re breaking him down. There’s something he loves about watching your eyes go from gentle and sweet to domineering and animalistic. That’s how he knows he’s gotten just what he wants.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Rarely is he truly loud, but he’s definitely not quiet either. Levi is expressive in his own way, through heavy labored breathing and soft hums of pleasure, “ngh” and “mnm” sounds. He gets louder as you dish out more and more, and when he’s close, his jaw slackens and he inhales sharply, before letting out a drawn out, breathy groan.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Levi is shy about titles, but the closer he gets to subspace, the less his inhibitions are present, and before you know it, he’s responding to your instructions with a “yes ma’am/sir” or “ok mommy/daddy”

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He isn’t big, but he isn’t small. I’d say Levi is packing pretty average, with a good amount of girth. He has a slight upward curve, and such a pretty pale pink color. He leaks too, especially when he’s pent up. A bit of dry humping and heavy kissing is all it takes to have him leaving dark wet patches on the front of his pants.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He has a moderate sex drive, but even if he’s been desperate for you all day long, sometimes he finds it hard to initiate. This goes back to the whole “recognizing body language is important” thing, because more often than not, he’s going to show you he’s in the mood.

He’ll be more touchy, you’ll notice his eyes lingering on your body, he sits closer to you and makes his presence more obvious. Once he’s gotten more comfortable in the relationship, he might press himself against you during hugs, so you can feel him semi-hard in his pants, or his kisses might become longer and laced with desperation.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

It really is a battle in his mind: to stay awake and snuggle up, or to give into exhaustion. He can’t help but feel extra relaxed when you’re done coaxing orgasms out of him, and his eyes get soft and dreary. Pet his hair a bit and hold him tight and he’s out like a light.

[anyasathenaeum]

Hello! I feel like I might have already requested this before your ask box was wiped, but how about a virgin!Knives x Reader smutfic?? I love how you characterized him as shy and flustered over the idea of sex in that one crackfic you wrote 😵 I hope you have a great day and life is treating you well!! You're one of my favorite writers regardless of what you write :D

A/N: Hey anon! Yes, I remember this request! I'm so sorry it took me so long to get to it, but here it is! This is my first (serious) attempt at smut with Knives, so uhhhhhhhhh please don't come for me, I tried my best. I've decided to start with some headcanons followed by the fic itself, apologies - it's long. Also, anon - thank you SO much for your comment, you're super sweet and I'm sorry I took so long to get to this. All the best! Warnings: MINORS DNI, Virgin!Knives, AFAB!reader (female terminology is used), hinting towards plants having "heats", a touch of yandere-ish behaviour (it's Knives, so not entirely surprising) penetrative sex, P in V sex, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it folks), reader is submissive in this one, rough sex, marking, a little bit of a breeding kink, Knives being a Loser™, he's kinda in love with you but the fucker definitely refuses to admit it, name-calling (Knives calls reader things like "slut" and such) Word Count: 3.3k

Virgin!Knives is definitely not nearly as confident and as ruthless as he is in all other points of his life - he might seem like he knows what he's doing, but deep down? Man is SHY, but he'd rather die than have anybody realize that

Seriously, you won't ever hear him talking about sex, and he doesn't even use the word if he can afford to outside of the bedroom

When it comes to his first time, he likes to make it seem like he's in charge and like he fucks all the time, but he's literally just a hair breadth away from cumming the moment you touch him for the first time.

Would absolutely make you ride him (mostly because he has no idea what he's doing), but he plays it off with cool indifference and because he "just wants you to please him".

He tries to make up for it, trying to be more forceful or rough with his thrusts, talking dirty to you and calling you names, but it's a double-edged sword because the moment you're crying out his name and squeezing around him, he sees stars and cums WAY too soon.

Basically, Virgin!Knives is a mess and wants to seem like he's still in charge in bed, but with a few thrusts of your own, driving him deeper and deeper into you, you'd have him falling apart beneath you in moments.

But, of course, because he's not human, his stamina is INSANE and the moment he cums for the first time inside you, it unhinges him (do I sense a breeding kink???) and suddenly he's chasing orgasm after orgasm using you, and you're definitely not gonna be leaving his bed for the next few days.

Full fic below! Enjoy!

"Are you sure this is what you want, Master Knives?"

The question slipped from your lips before you could stop yourself. You just couldn't believe what you were hearing.

Millions Knives, the independent plant who you'd been working for for years, had had you brought to his chambers in the middle of the night so that he could ask you something important.

"Are you questioning me, pet?"

The way Knives glared at you, his gaze cold and calculated, made shivers course down your spine, and you quickly bowed your head.

"No, Master Knives. Not at all. I was merely surprised by your request. I apologize."

Knives simply raised his eyebrow as he continued to gaze at you, taking in your form as you stood before him. You'd initially been just some filthy human he was forced to keep around due to your utility and your skills, but over time, as much as Knives refused to admit to it, you'd grown on him. You were one of the more intelligent of your species, it seemed, and one that seemed to know its place whenever you spoke to him. But, in the end, you were still just a lowly, miserable human, part of the plague that threatened Plants across the planet.

So... why?

Why did Knives feel this... pull towards you? Why did he have to fight the urge to be near you each and every time he spotted you, the urge to tuck you against him with his wing and whisk you away, out of sight and out of reach of all others? Why did he feel rage boiling up within him whenever you smiled or laughed at something somebody else had said? A fair share of other henchmen had lost lives and limbs just for speaking to you (not that you knew that, of course - they just conveniently "disappeared" during a mission).

Beyond just those moments, Knives had also noticed... other things. A warmth that seemed to bloom from whatever part of him had brushed your skin, spreading through the rest of his body until it became full blown heat. This heat was unbearable to resist and made him feel as though it were burning him alive from the inside out, unquenchable even when he took matters into his own hands time and time again.

Knives wasn't a fool. He knew of the lust and the need to reproduce that his kind often felt, but he'd never experienced it himself ever before. Not until you showed up. But, you were part of the very thing Knives had sworn to destroy, so why did his body call to you in this way? Why did his body betray him so? What was it about you that made him feel this way?

"You heard me, (Y/N)," Knives spoke slowly and quietly, his gaze not leaving you for a moment as he lounged on his bed, "I wish for you to stay the night."

"Yes, Master Knives."

"You will not speak of this to anybody," he continued, his voice scarily level, "Or I shall ensure you are permanently silenced."

You simply bowed your head again, your heart pounding frantically in your chest.

You had always had an interest in Knives - asides from being somebody who was hired to work from him, you found him a truly interesting being. An independent plant, more beautiful than any living creature you'd ever seen before, hellbent on exterminating the human race to save his sister plants and trying to find his twin brother, another independent plant. He was always transparent of his end goal, and despite it all, you had still agreed to work for him. After all, humanity was a mess and it wasn't going to get any better - you'd seen proof of that time and time again throughout your life.

So, here you were - working tirelessly so he could achieve his goal.

Although, you hadn't expected to be summoned to Knives's chambers so late in the night, and you certainly hadn't anticipated him to wish for you to stay the night. You'd been summoned to his chambers several times in the past, sometimes for work purposes, other times simply on a whim, and you weren't ignorant of the way you felt around Knives.

His presence made you feel simultaneously safe and on edge, as if something was always just about to occur. As though there were always words hanging in the air between you two, just waiting to be spoken but never truly acknowledged.

Despite his reputation of being unforgiving and ruthless, you'd never been on the receiving end of that side of him, somehow. He could be harsh and sharp with his words and his actions, but he'd never caused you any true harm. You couldn't ignore the way your skin felt as though electricity coursed through it whenever Knives accidentally brushed against you, or the way the heat rose to your cheeks whenever you found him watching you intently. He never looked away immediately whenever you caught him staring at you, simply maintaining his gaze and ensuring to keep eye contact with you for a couple moments before looking away almost lazily, as if he'd grown bored of you. But the fact that he did it so often... could it mean?...

You didn't dare let yourself hope. It couldn't possibly mean anything. After all, you were just a human. Unworthy of him in every possible way.

And yet, here you were, summoned to his chambers in the middle of the night and told you were to stay with him overnight. Your mind was in overdrive, trying to figure out what this meant.

"W-Where am I to sleep, Master Knives?" You inquired softly, not daring to look up at him.

Knives would've scoffed and laughed had it been any other person standing before him, but this was you. His pet, of sorts. And as much as he refused to accept it, you softened him. You weakened him.

"We'll address that later, pet. Come here."

Before you could process everything, you found yourself approaching Knives's bed, stopping right before it and waiting for his commands, not wanting to overstep.

"Did I not make myself clear? Here, pet," Knives all but hissed, making it clear he wanted you right on the bed next to him.

Blushing slightly, you quickly followed his demand, crawling into his bed so you were right by his side. You could feel his gaze on you, and you risked a glimpse at his face - his expression was surprisingly calm, almost curious as he studied you as you sat there next to him on his bed.

"Don't move," Knives whispered quietly, bringing his hand up to your face.

Immediately, you froze, almost afraid to breathe.

"So obedient," you heard Knives chuckle, clearly amused, "What a good pet I have."

Without further comments, you felt Knives's fingers beginning to trace over your skin, skimming lightly over your cheeks and making his way over the bridge of your nose, then down over your lips. His touch was surprisingly gentle, more gentle than you ever thought him capable, but you remained silent as he continued his barely-there touches.

You struggled to ignore the beating of your heart and the roaring of your blood in your ears, your whole body feeling like a livewire. You had to remind yourself not to let your mind wander and make your hidden desires obvious, but something in the way Knives was watching you made you believe that he already knew of your hidden desires. You felt your face heating up even worse than before as you looked away from Knives, suddenly finding the threading of the bedding very interesting.

"I don't understand you."

Knives's sudden voice startled you, making you jump slightly as you sat there next to him. However, you remained silent, waiting for him to continue.

"Look at me, (Y/N)."

Slowly, you brought your gaze up to look at Knives, trying not to let your heart beat straight out of your chest as you did so. His icy blue gaze was steady as it trained on your face, still studying you even intently.

"What do you not understand about me?" You asked quietly, steeling yourself as you held Knives's gaze.

After a couple moments, Knives replied quietly, "I don't understand what it is about you that makes my body feel this way. How you, a mere human... are the only one who has the ability to set my soul and my body aflame. I get no rest because of you."

You felt your heart stop for a moment before it began to thunder violently in your chest, your eyes widening in surprise. There was no way that he meant what you thought he meant.

"Master Knives, I-"

"Nai."

You looked at him curiously, and Knives simply continued, "In here, I'm not Master Knives. My name is Nai. You use my name, here and only here."

"Yes, Nai," you replied softly, testing out his name on your tongue.

"I think you know why I've summoned you to stay the night, now. Don't you, (Y/N)?"

You nodded, making Nai smirk slightly, "Clever pet."

Without a second of hesitation, you felt Nai's hand cup the back of your neck, pulling you down against him and slotting his lips to yours in a passionate, lustful kiss.

You let out a small, muffled yelp as you fell forward onto him, your lips pressing against his and your eyes wide in surprise. His taste was surprisingly bright, and you found yourself melting into the kiss, eyes closing and matching his passion in the kiss within moments. You felt Nai's hands burying themselves into your hair as he pulled you on top of him, holding you close to him as he continued to kiss you lustfully, his desire for you overwhelming his typically-controlled self.

Despite the kiss being lustful and filled with desire, you found that Nai's kiss still felt as though he were holding something back. Was it simply due to him not being as invested as you believed him to be? Or was it for some other reason? Regardless, you found your hands coming up to cup Nai's face gently as you continued to kiss him, his hands resting firmly on your hips and holding you in place.

You could feel Nai's hands pressing your hips down hard against him, and underneath his robe and through your clothes, you could feel something hard rubbing against your core. A wanton moan escaped you as Nai continued to force you down onto him, getting you to grind on him as his hands guided your hips. You could feel your pussy beginning to soak through your panties, and your whole body shuddered as Nai pulled away from you, a string of spit connecting your lips together.

You watched as Nai's knives suddenly appeared from him, slowly approaching you. Your eyes widened in fear, and you tried to figure out what you'd done wrong, your whole body freezing and your blood turning to ice. However, the blades of the knives didn't touch your skin, instead the tentacles slowly working their way under your clothing, cutting piece by piece loose and letting the scraps of fabric fall from your body. The tentacles of knives glided across your skin almost tenderly, continuing their work diligently until you found yourself completely naked in Nai's bed, your clothing nothing more than strips of fabric now.

"Worry not, pet. You'll get new clothes," Nai spoke quietly, his eyes eagerly taking in your naked form.

Nai could feel himself getting riled up the moment he laid eyes on your bare skin, his cock hardening beneath his robe as he took in every part of you. You were beautiful, he supposed, for a human.

As he gazed at you, Nai couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like for him to finally take you, to stake him claim on you and to feel you around him for the first time. Of course, he'd never let you know that he'd never done any of this before, instead maintaining his façade of cool indifference and superiority, as if he'd done this so many times that it almost bored him.

Reaching out towards you, Nai pulled you back on top of him, his robe dissipating and allowing you to finally see him, his cock rock hard and throbbing, a glob of pre-cum leaking from the tip. You could see that the same plant markings that sprawled across the rest of his body were also on the shaft of his cock, as well as his tip. Just the sight of him, laid out before and below you like this and clearly wanting you, had your pussy dripping wet. You couldn't believe just how badly you wanted him inside you.

"Well? Go on, pet," Nai commanded, watching you carefully, "Please me."

"Yes, Nai."

You couldn't believe this was happening, but you found yourself feeling excited by the fact that you actually got the opportunity to sleep with Nai. As much as you wished that it could've been more than just sex, you were happy to have this, at the very least.

Slowly, you settled yourself in his lap, your hand wrapping gently around his cock and aligning him with your pussy, letting the tip just barely rest against your entrance. You were surprised to hear Nai hiss as soon as you took hold of him, feeling his body tense and feeling something warm and wet dribbling over your fingers.

"A-Are you okay?" You asked softly, looking at Nai with slight concern, hoping you hadn't hurt him or made him uncomfortable.

"Fine," Nai gritted out, "Don't question me. Remember your place, pet."

Then, suddenly, you felt Nai's hands tighten on your hips, grabbing onto you firmly before pushing you down onto his cock hard.

You let out a cry at the sudden stretch, your pussy stinging at the feeling of being split open so deeply for the first time in a long while, trying to adjust to the feeling of Nai inside you. With him sheathed inside you, you could feel just how big he was - even without moving, he was pressing against the most perfect spot inside you, pulling a whine from your lips.

"Quiet, slut," Nai growled, his hold on your hips bruising your skin as his fingers dug into your flesh.

What you didn't know was that Nai was struggling worse than you were at the moment - he'd never felt such warmth and tightness before, especially not around his cock, and he was trying so hard not to cum then and there. He hadn't expected you to feel so good around him, or for his body to be this sensitive.

However, as he held you against him, you let out a soft whine of pleasure and began to roll your hips desperately, pushing him just the slightest bit deeper into you. Nai's grip tightened on you, and he was about to growl out another command when his orgasm suddenly washed over him.

A choked "Fuck!" slipped from his lips as he involuntarily bucked his hips up into you, wanting nothing more than to bury himself into you even more than before as his seed coated your walls, painting them in white and claiming you as his in a way nobody ever really had before. You let out a moan and clutched onto Nai's shoulders as you felt the warmth spreading within your abdomen, and you couldn't help but continue to roll your hips as you chased your own release, wanting to feel more of Nai inside you.

"N-Nai, please," you whined, continuing to thrust your hips against him, "Want more... need more of you... please..."

Hearing you plead for him, for his cock, to give you pleasure made something in Nai snap.

In a flash, you found yourself laying back in the bed with Nai above you, his cock still buried inside you and still hard as ever. However, now, you could see a fire in his eyes as he gazed at you, his hand coming up and squeezing your breast. The mewl that came from you as Nai touched you made him feel more powerful than ever before, his instincts beginning to take over.

Leaning down and pressing his lips against yours hungrily, Nai began to thrust into you with urgency, his thrusts powerful and deep, pulling moan after moan from you as he continued to fuck you into his bed. He couldn't care less that this was his first time - nothing else mattered right now except for cumming inside you over and over again until you knew nothing but his name and that you belonged to him. He allowed his instincts to take over, the instinct to claim, to mate, to breed, to fill you up until it spilled from you endlessly.

"You're mine, slut. You hear me? Mine."

The growl that came from Nai made your whole body shiver, and the way he sunk his teeth into your neck and left a dark bruise to show that fact to the world made you scream out, partly from pain and partly from pleasure. You were his now, and nobody else would ever have you.

"Say it!" Nai commanded, thrusting into you harshly without stopping. "Say-" thrust "you-" thrust "are-" thrust "mine!".

"Y-Yours!" You cried out, feeling your own orgasm wash over you stronger than ever before as Nai continued to fuck you through it, "'M yours, Nai!"

"Mine!"

Nai slammed his cock into you one final time as he came yet again, filling you to the brim with cum once more. As he recovered from his orgasm, Nai continued to leave marks down your neck, your shoulders, your breasts, working his way down until he was ready to go again, wanting nothing more than to continue this until he could no longer stand it.

"Prepare yourself, (Y/N)," Nai growled into your ear, pulling your body against his hard, "You're to stay with me all night. And I'm nowhere near done."

[lucysarah-c]

I apologize if this has been asked before but what do you think Levi's kinks are? :)

Hi, sweetie! Oh, do not worry, no need to apologize! I haven’t received this ask before, and even if I did, it’s not a biggie. I could just attach a link to that ask here <3 Do not worry.

MH, Levi’s kinks… good question.

Power play for sure. Have you seen this man say that “pain is the best discipline”? He's always 100% down to teach you your place, at least in the bedroom. Outside of it, he deeply respects your position. Inside the room? Oh baby girl, he wants you to know he’s in charge and could spend his entire life reminding you of it.

…Shibari or tying up. Have you seen those uniforms? Levi sees that harness and deep down he wonders how pretty you would look all tied up. This one is a bit more tricky, so he and you may work around it to see how much of it you're both into.

Overstimulation, absolutely. Those Ackerman powers are a blessing; he knows he can last for hours. Can you? Oh, it's okay, baby, don’t be scared. He'll just have to keep fucking you, and if by any means you end up feeling like your legs are made of jelly from all the times he made you cum… well, I guess that’s the consequence of dating humanity’s strongest soldier. I think he could just feel getting hard, or getting cocky by feeling how you shake against his face as he keeps eating you out like a thirsty man who had been traveling across a desert. The idea that he left you completely and absolutely destroyed makes him feel so cocky. You can accuse this man of many things, but leaving you unsatisfied in bed isn’t one of them.

Degradation and praise kink. Depending on the situation and his mood, he can go either way or BOTH at the same time. “Aw, you look so pretty riding my cock. You’re doing amazing, girly. Mh? Enjoy that dick?” you will nod as you ride him with all your life “I bet. What a dirty little cock whore you turned out to be.”

Alright, maybe this one isn’t popular and maybe it's a bit OOC on my part… Corruption kink. At multiple times in his life, as the famous former thug who lived in the most dangerous part inside the walls, the idea of getting you, looking at him with doe eyes through your eyelashes, faking innocence or truly having it… I can literally picture him thinking, “Doesn’t matter if she doesn’t have much experience or doesn’t know how to make me feel good yet. I’m a very good and patient teacher… have an entire lifetime to mold her into perfection.” He likes to save the best for last; this man would enjoy every single little detail of seeing you fall into the beautiful dark pleasure he can show you.

Those are the ones that come to mind rather quickly…

I’ll give you (as if my ramblings are worthy material to be gifted, lmao) 2 kinks that I DON’T think Levi has and I believe are very popular.

Breeding kink. Like this one, maybe depending on the situation and if it’s a “game” kind of thing. But I feel Levi is a person who takes paternity very seriously; it has to be a VERY particular scenario for me (at least canon Levi) where he’s like, “fuck it, yeah let’s risk getting you pregnant.” BUT it’s a kink I can see A LOT more in Post-War Levi; it’s not that he doesn’t want to breed you… he’s just too responsible to take the risk.

Daddy. HAHA I feel like if you called Levi that in the middle of sex, he would freeze a little and be like, “Sir? Yes. Captain? Absolutely. What did you just say? Just… no.” I dare to say that if you bring it up playfully, perhaps as a joke, he will wrinkle his nose and say, “If you want to fuck Erwin, just say it, but don’t bring that shit into my bedroom.”

I had fun writing this one; I feel it’s a classic “Levi’s blog” ask that surprisingly I’ve never received before! Thank you for that! Hope this was good enough.

Have a lovely day.

Link to my masterlist and my other works if you feel like checking them out. Tags!: @nube55 @justkon @notgoodforlife @nmlkys @humanitys-strongest-bamf @quillinhand @thoreeo @darkstarlight82 @angelofthorr @aomi04 @levisbrat25 @l3visthighs @hum4n-wr3ckag3 @hannieslovebot @starrylevi @rithty @mariaace @ackrmntea @emilyyyy-08 @levisfavoriteteashop @katestrophes @levistealeaf @an-ever-angry-bi @youre-ackermine @fxnnyackerman @secretmoneybearvoid @trashblackrainbow @flxrartsstuff @katharinasdiaryy @kikarouflames @levisecretgfblog @searriously @blackdxggr @ackermanswifee @abiatackerman @braunsbabe @moonchild-angel @storiesofsung @galactict3a @twruui @lemonsupernova @r3becca_0 @heyitsd1yaa @sydneyyuu @hyuckwon-my-husbands Wanna join my tag list? Here!

[haggishlyhagging]

Waiting is part of the stereotyped role for women—a large part. Waiting to grow, for breasts and hips to fill out, to wear lipstick, perfume, brassieres: waiting to star in the big role—man enticer. Waiting to be asked for a date. Waiting for the phone to ring. Waiting, waiting for the phone to ring. Waiting to be asked to dance. Waiting to be asked to go steady. Waiting to be asked to marry. Always waiting for someone else to act. Passively, miserably waiting.

And if the phone doesn't ring? If no one asks? If you wait, and wait, and wait, and Prince Charming doesn't come riding up? What can you do?

In the fifties, when I was a young woman, there was nothing you could do and still be considered decent. Being able to choose and act on that choice was a privilege reserved for men. That should have told me something. I think it did, but I didn't want—or didn't know how—to deal with it at the time. So I put it away in that deep unconscious filing cabinet reserved for matters which must have frightened me with their too-clear implications of female servitude and subordination. It took me forty-two years of gathering such data unbeknownst to myself before I finally accumulated more than my file could hold and it burst open, forcing me to look.

Waiting is one of the earmarks of subservience. As Milton truly says, "They also serve who only stand and wait." Waiting is a service. The words waitress, lady-in-waiting, waiter are all service titles. Waiting delineates rank. Sergeants don't keep colonels waiting, but generals do. Teachers don't keep principals waiting, but superintendents do. Those in power can make their subordinates wait, can expect them to wait. To keep someone waiting is manipulation, a method of maintaining control; it is a way of announcing and wielding power.

My unconscious servitude to Rick began early in our courtship. I remember sitting on a bench by the service station for several hours while he fixed his car. It was an unspoken assumption in my youth that girls loved to keep boys company during such times, liked to hold things for them, enjoyed watching them clean the points, or change the brake shoes. Having their girl hovering around must have been like having their own private cheerleader. Girls did it because we wanted to be with them more than they wanted to be with us. We were more emotionally dependent upon them, as we had been trained to be. We needed to be around them, and though they liked having us around, they had other interests in their lives. We had been trained to have only one major interest, despite all the other things we might do, and that was them. Not because it is any more natural for us females to be dependent and to base our entire lives upon some male's approval and presence, but because patriarchy socialized us thus. It is great for male egos. It is catastrophic for ours.

But I didn't get a real taste of the despotism of waiting until Rick discovered the computer at the University of Minnesota. The next ten years were one long struggle against the humiliation of being constantly rejected for the computer—Rick's "iron mistress," his "three sexty." Ten years of being completely forgotten for whole days and suddenly remembered apologetically, of my putting the uneaten supper away and going to bed at midnight or one or two A.M., not having heard from Rick since morning when he promised to be home by six.

That he should have thought it natural to keep a human being waiting for six, seven, twelve hours without word made it clear to me again and again how he thought of me, how not completely human I was to him, how much just a part of himself—not a separate or real person to be taken seriously, or about whose esteem he needed to worry. He would never have kept any male friend whose friendship he valued waiting so consistently for years. No peer would have put up with it.

At the time, I thought it was all my fault. If I were more interesting, more sexy, more something, he would want to come home to me. I blamed myself, when the fault lay in Rick's patriarchal world view.

Part of the unwritten definition of wife is: the one who waits.

I tried to tell Rick over those long years how often I felt rejected and figuratively slapped in the face. I couldn't help but believe he secretly enjoyed the idea of my waiting for him, the constant service of wondering and worrying about him in his absence. Surely there was something more behind his making me wait than mere forgetfulness. He was an extremely intelligent man, but I couldn't get him to understand how deeply he wounded me by showing disdain for the hours of my life I wasted in waiting for him and for the hurt and rage and erosion of love for him this brought about in my heart.

And through it all, I must never make him wait for me. I must never reverse the sadomasochistic game. Yet by calling it that, I admit my own collusion in it. Years ago I should have ceased to care unduly when he came or went, should have planned my life as I wanted without consulting his. Should simply not have allowed him to tyrannize and manipulate me. But I knew that the moment I refused to supply this apparently necessary ego support, I would lose him.

And I did. When I became interested in the ERA, he often had to wait for me—to get off the phone, to come home from meetings, to come to bed. I ceased to pay much attention to when he came and went. I no longer cared a great deal when he was hours late or rejoiced overmuch when he was early. My life no longer centered around him, as his had never centered around me. I began to live an independent life, such as only men are entitled to. That's when I overstepped my bounds and it was all over.

And I've thought since, with considerable wryness, how for nineteen years I waited for him, and how he couldn't wait for me for one.

-Sonia Johnson, From Housewife to Heretic

[lilspacewolfie]

Papas Caring For Hospitalized Reader

Spawned from pure self-indulgence. I've been through more hospital visits these last four weeks than I have my entire life. I want someone to bundle me up and make my hand better. I hate hospitals and operations *sobs*. Enjoy nonetheless!

Content: 2k words, Papas x gn!reader, SFW, bullet-pointed format, mentions of hospitals, needles (only mentioned), mention of general anaesthetic, angst, hurt/comfort, anxiety, lots of sweetness, you're getting pampered, no beta we die like nihil!)

This man will do everything in his power to make sure you’re looked after and relaxed. 

Tea for days! He will try different flavours until he finds the one you like.

Dives headfirst into deep research as to which herbs help your injury heal, as well as calm your nerves. He knows his plants well, but he wants to know more. You deserve the best of the best.

Insists on going with you for infirmary visits even when you tell him you’re fine (you’re not really, but you just don't want him to worry.)

He will anyway. 

Chronic worrier, especially given his age. 

He takes his health VERY seriously, yours too! The Ministry has the best medical care around. 

If you need a wound cleaned, stitches taken out, or other medicines, it's the place to get it. 

Primo will be with you as much as he’s able to, even if that means he’s sitting for a long time while you’re being treated. 

When you’re free and discharged—bandaged, bruised and probably feeling sore, he’ll take you back to his room for some TLC. 

Will have a bath or shower with you, (in his jungle of a washroom), depending on what you prefer and smother you with all your favourite scents.  

He’s a deeply caring individual and shows it openly. 

Will speak gently to you, whisper sweetly and ensure you’re not overstimulated more than you have been. 

“Shh, I know. I know amore. It’ll be over soon, just breathe for me.”

He knows how much you hate hospital/doctor visits. 

You can squeeze his hand if you want. 

If you need space for a bit after everything, he’ll gladly give it. 

If not, prepare to receive a lot of kisses, especially on your forehead (a lot of them, like… SO many.)

He will help you bathe if you’re unable to, running a foaming washcloth over your skin carefully. 

Let him wash your hair! It’s one of the things he adores doing for you!

Once you’re washed, warm and feeling more relaxed it’s time for more tea in bed with a snack if you want one!

He insists. Even if you don't feel like eating, try to drink something for him <3

“It will help you feel good and relax, Il mio fiore.” (My flower)

Fluids are important (wink-wonk).

Reminds you to take your meds like clockwork (always with tea and water)

You’re his petalo (petal) and he loves you dearly. 

Will wrap you up in the mountain of blankets and faux furs he has on his lush bed. He’s old, he feels the cold more than others. At least he has you to keep him warm.

Secondo hates when you’re hurt/hurting in any capacity. 

Even if it's something minor, he’ll worry about it to the point where he loses sleep over it. 

He’s a big, brooding mother hen. 

The Emeritus curse of being a chronic worrier doesn’t stop at Primo.

This man wants you to be okay and it kills him when you’re not. 

Will also go with you to the infirmary and stay with you. 

The staff always find him a little intimidating, but they know he’s just worried sick. He’s kind to everyone, but honestly, he won't speak much unless spoken to. 

“Are you alright, mio tesoro?” Is what he mainly asks, his voice so low it's close to a rumble. 

Tries his best to make you feel relaxed. 

Will make really, god-awful dad jokes that are so bad you do laugh. 

He will quietly hold your hand the entire time, rubbing his bare fingers over our knuckles. 

You rarely see him remove his gloves in public, but he HAS to be touching you. He insists. 

He’s had enough knocks and breaks in his life to know how fragile the human body can be, but also how incredible it is at self-repair. 

That doesn’t mean he views you as a fragile thing that needs to be wrapped in wool, but he loves you so deeply he would if you let him. 

He admires your strength and resolve as you put up with being poked and prodded (by needles or with doctors.) 

Once you’re released from care, good luck getting him to be anywhere less than within touching distance. 

You’re getting a kiss. Lots of them. Mostly chaste and gentle. 

You can tell it's because he worries about hurting you. 

He relaxes a bit more when you kiss him HARD and bite at his bottom lip. 

Will also help you bathe and shower. Again, touching distance. Just let him be near you for his own sanity. 

Though he wouldn’t be upset if you need some space. He’s very understanding if you’re overstimulated. 

Will linger outside the door in case you need anything. 

Let him dry you off and dress you in comfortable clothes. He can see you that way. 

He can see you’re still with him and that you’re safe. 

He’ll touch you slowly, running his large hands over your skin. 

Will spoon you once you’re in bed or let you curl into him. 

He’ll bury his nose in your hair, breathe you in and say a wordless prayer to Lucifer that you recover quickly. 

“Ti amo.” You hear him whisper as he presses a kiss to your forehead and strokes your hair.

Only falls asleep once he’s sure you have, holding you close the entire night. 

Terzo. Oh, Terzo. 

Emeritus curse of being a chronic worrier? Check. Turn it up to eleven. 

Unlike Secondo, Terzo is open with his worries. 

He’s a fair mix of his brothers, both gentle and occasionally stoic given the shape you’re in. 

If it's something minor, he’ll try to play it off with a bit of humour like he tends to do. He’ll make bad jokes (oh ho, you thought Secondo’s were bad just wait for this.) 

If it’s something you need an operation for, this man will be silently out of his mind. *insert any internally screaming gif here*

He takes pride in his appearance, but you’ll start to notice cracks—dishevelled hair, a button not done up or a smudge of his paint. 

It would worry you more if he didn’t have Omega or one of his brothers to make sure he’s drinking and eating regularly.

Tries to hide his stress. Fails. Rinse and repeat. 

He doesn’t want you to worry about him, you’re the one in pain, about to be put under and Lucifer… What's he going to do if something happens?

He loves you. Adores you. You’re his life.

He knows how much you hate being stuck in hospitals and it pains him to see you stressed. The last thing he wants to do is add to that, so he’ll play it cool. 

When you go in he’s pacing the halls.

Rest assured, the healthcare of the Ministry has you in safe hands. 

It puts Terzo at ease, but don't expect him to leave your side when everything is over. He will sit at your bedside, kiss your knuckles and stroke your hair. 

Let him touch you. Just let him. 

He’s been through so much heartache in his life. 

Will kiss each of your fingers and whisper sweet words to you. 

“You’ll be okay, vita mia. Cuore mio. I’m here. I’m with you.” (My life. My heart.)

Maybe he’ll hum some songs too. 

You’re his everything. 

Once you’re ready and well enough to leave, you’re getting pampered to hell and back. This man worships the ground you walk on. 

Whatever you want it's not too much. A bath? A shower? Just to get into bed and fall asleep? Terzo’s right there with you.

Dinner in his massive, plush bed with your favourite movie.

When you’re ready to sleep he’ll plaster himself to you. He would crawl inside your skin if he could. 

Fitful sleeper. Wakes up a few times just to make sure you’re ok. 

Eventually sleeps soundly once you kiss his worries away. 

Stroke his hair. He’s a sucker for that!

*Copia is not Nihil’s son in my verses/AUs unless explicitly stated.*

He’s learned bad habits from the Papas it seems. 

Worrier. Yes, it's chronic. Seriously, are we sure this isn’t like the flu?

Paces a lot. 

Good luck getting him to sit still. 

If he's not pacing, he’s as close to you as physics will allow. 

Lots of touching. Will rest his head by your hip if he’s tired from all that pacing. 

Perfect opportunity to run your fingers through his hair.  

He’ll hold your hands and kiss your knuckles. 

All that stress tires him out. 

“Mi dispiace, amore. Non sto aiutando,” he’ll whisper brokenly. (I'm sorry, amore. I'm not helping.)

You two probably end up curled up on the bed of the infirmary together if you have been waiting a while. A nap won't hurt. 

You kiss slowly as you get comfortable, limbs tangled.

The angle is a bit awkward. 

The sleep helps but he’s still going to be stressed when he wakes up. 

Will get you anything you need. A drink or food, perhaps one of the really nice yogurts they do at the visitor's cantine. 

Will ask the nurses and doctors SO many questions. He likes to be informed. Gets stressed if anything is unclear. 

Maybe he should be in this infirmary bed and not you. 

Prepare to be coddled once you’re discharged. 

You’re both taking a long, hot bath or shower. 

He wants to wash you down so he can see you and make sure you’re ok. Lots of tender kisses to your skin. 

Ends up with you in his arms under the hot water just swaying together. 

You’re wearing his clothes. No, not just because he likes how they look on you but because they’re baggy and won't irritate your skin *cough*. Sure Copia. 

He’ll order your favourite food and you can watch a movie in his room together. 

Will mother hen you, constantly ask if you need anything, and make sure your water glass is full. 

He probably will cry. It’s just been so much. 

You can cry together if you want. You both understand. 

Also like clockwork when it comes to medication (if you’re taking any.) 

Curls up in bed with you. You both sleep like the dead after such a long, stressful day. 

Breakfast in bed when you wake up.

*Copia is not Nihil’s son in my verses/AUs unless explicitly stated.*

Copia might not be of the Emeritus blood, but unholy shit does the curse of being a chronic worrier catch like wildfire. 

He’s Papa now he’s gotta be strong. 

Will put on a brave face. But underneath he’s still the cardinal he was years back. 

He’ll worry and fret and pace. There's no changing some things. 

While he’s outwardly less anxious, this poor man has so much weighing on his shoulders after he took over to front the band. 

Inwardly it's chaos. 

His hair is never quite as smoothed back as it normally is and his paint is a touch worn. 

There are some things you can't change about a man. Not really. 

Prepare to be coddled, again. The mother hen has never left the coop. 

He’s going to pamper you when he gets you back to his room. Of course, you’re staying with him, he’s not letting you go. 

So. Many. Kisses. 

This man loves kissing you. He adores you so. 

A bath in his spacious tub is just what the doctor ordered. You lay against him and relax in the dim with only the light of candles. 

Finally lets himself cry. 

You shush him, kiss him and remind him that you love him and that you’re ok. 

He loves you so much he can't even express it. The thought of losing you kills him. 

He tries to push your hands away when you take a cloth to his paint. You’re the one who's been hurt and poked at all day, he’s supposed to be caring for you!

Eventually relents because you both know you need this. 

More kisses and mutual washing. You love seeing how his skin pinkens across his cheek, arms and back. It brings out the pretty freckles all over his body. 

When you both get into bed, tangled up again, Copia will whisper how much he loves you until he’s too tired to talk anymore. 

You both sleep like the dead.

masterlist ⛧ Ao3

[chiibinomonodamon]

WHO WANTS TO HEAR ME RAMBLE ABOUT GAY FURRY DEMON SEX? XD

(damn, there's a sentence I never thought I'd say....)

Okay...so I see some Stolitz confusion and bashing online and I need to type up a defense here because I won't be able to sleep otherwise lol

I consider myself to be a Ship Critic and someone who takes shipping rather seriously.

What I mean by this is, I like to analyze and break down romantic relationships between fictional characters because it's just interesting to write for me. I especially take delight in friendly debating with opinions that I strongly do *not* agree with.

Let me start off by saying I am NOT a "this ship is awesome because gay furry sex lol" type of girl.

FAR from it. I'm generally more passionate about hetero ships between human characters (because I can relate to them more) among other reasons. So if you wanna dismiss my defense as "shallow fangirlism", you can forget about that lame excuse.

I fell in love with Hazbin Hotel when it was finally released in February and suffered waiting for each new two-parts per week. During that time, I decided to watch Helluva Boss as well, after a friend showed me a particularly soul-crushing clip (Moxxie's childhood trauma about his mother).

Yes, I like funny sex jokes as much as the next goofy adult but scenes like this, scenes that carry a very heavy emotional weight are what really get me in the end, even moreso when VERY little dialogue is exchanged. I knew I had to watch the entire episode run after seeing that the creators had a talent for this.

I saw people asking:

"How did Stolas go from using Blitz as a sex toy to being painfully in love with him?"

Oh I can tell you. I can tell you the EXACT moment this is revealed. But it's not spoon-fed to you; it's quite subtle actually and this is why lots of people miss it.

See, one of the strongest talents Vivenne has shown me is that she REALLY knows how to get her characters to communicate their feelings to the viewers JUST from their expressions and body language. These can be 'blink-and-miss-it' teeny little scenes and it may require a couple rewatches.

But since people demand time stamps for all information others post here, I'll rewatch a few scenes from S1 E7 'Ozzie's' as I'm typing this.

'Ozzie's' remains to be not just my favorite episode of HB...but probably my favorite episode of any adult-targeted animated show outside of Japan (aside from S2 E7's Mid-Season Special)

It has this huge reveal for both Blitzo and Stolas.

We'll first address Blitzo's irrational, stalkerish behavior of Moxxie and Millie.

He's obsessed with them. He finds both of them very attractive, fantasizes about threesomes with them and is constantly inserting himself into their personal lives.

Why?

Because they have everything that he badly badly wants for himself.

They have the perfect marriage and he is trying to live THROUGH them.

This was hilarious to me at the beginnning of the show but it's slowly revealed that it's one of the most tragic and depressing things I've ever seen. And it's scarily realistic too.

But you know this already so let's move on...

Blitzo follows the couple to Ozzie's but he can't get in without a date. So he calls up Stolas and yes, this is very low but he doesn't realize how much this means to Stolas (hell, I'm not sure even Stolas realizes it himself!) but the owl man is giddy with joy, he rushes over and they enter Ozzie's.

When Ozzie and Fizz mock Moxxie for being so sappy towards his wife, this strikes a chord with Blitzo (because they're his IDEAL relationship) and he speaks up to defend them.

NOW PAY CLOSE ATTENTION; THIS IS THE IMPORTANT PART:

Fizz, still holding onto his past grudge turns on Blitzo to humilate him:

"Some nerve you got commenting on a relationship"

Time Stamp: 11:37

As Fizz says "-ship", Blitzo VERY QUICKLY makes eye contact with Stolas who has a look of panic on his face. Blitzo is seeking VALIDATION from Stolas in this sharp, subtle second of screentime, as if to ask

"Well, ARE we in one?"

And then what happens next...Stolas remains silent, Blitzo's ex joins in to announce how selfish Blitzo was in bed with her, tearing him down further. Stolas stands up like he's going to put a stop to it but then Ozzie notices him and interrogates him about sleeping with Blitzo.

Blitzo looks incredibly ashamed and guilty as Stolas blushes with similar feelings...and hides his face behind his menu; HIS BIGGEST MISTAKE IN THE SERIES SO FAR.

Time Stamp: 12:24

The look on Blitzo's face as he grits his teeth and darts his eyes away basically says

"Yeah, I should have known...boy am I an idiot for trusting him to stand up for me".

(look how SHOCKED he is...wow, this hurts fr ;_;)

This is a silent betrayal on Stolas's part. Afterall, his reputation is on the line, so if he were to defend Blitzo, it confirms they are in fact, dating. He chose his pride over Blitzo and Blitzo is crushed by this betrayal.

Moxxie finishes his song and kisses his wife tenderly. Stolas watches this and also wants to have an affectionate moment with Blitzo (who is rightfully glaring daggers at him) and tries to reach for his hand.

Blitzo rejects his touch and suggests they leave. As they do, Blitzo still looks furious and hurt. Stolas is now realizing how badly he screwed up with a "What have I done?" face (13:41)

He even looks disappointed with himself.

After Blitzo drops Stolas off, he thanks him and tries to smooth over the awkwardness with sweet talk but Blitzo just rolls his eyes in disgust and pulls on his face like "I don't want to hear this bullshit".

He responds coldly and curtly, "Yeah." Stolas makes more suggestions to spend time with him, which just makes him even angrier and he snaps

"I'm not fucking you tonight, okay!

I'm really just..." (14:28)

he pauses to wipe a tear because at this point he can barely hold it together (top notch voice acting and animation directing btw)

"...not in the mood, Stolas."

Stolas still tries to talk him into doing couple things unrelated to sex.

Blitzo's face switches back to anger and frustration because Stolas isn't getting the message so he goes for the blunt tactic;

"Stolas, don't act like what we have is anything but YOU wanting ME to fuck you, okay?"

(14:42)

"You make that really clear all the time."

(again his voice sounds like he's about to break down)

"But I-I just can't do it tonight, okay?"

(Finally meets his eye)

"...I'm sorry."

I believe this is code for "I'm sorry we're even in this situation and how your reputation got damaged. " Or, more painfully, "I'm sorry I'm such an embarrassment to you".

Stolas replies "Okay" and takes a deep breath to compose himself. They say goodnight and depart.

An important note here is that Stolas calls him "Blitzo" instead of "Blitzy" to show more respect.

As Blitzo zooms away coldly, Stolas looks up at the sky with tears in his eyes, surprised at how much it hurts.

He then sits down with his head in his hands in anguish...because he's getting that

"Oh...no. These feelings are real" epiphany.

And as if this wasn't enough angst, Blitzo collapses onto his couch at home, goes through the memories on his phone and starts sobbing.

I'm going to be real with you; this is the most heart-breaking shit I have ever seen in an adult show of this type. It's also the first time a show of this type got me to cry.

The last six minutes have revealed so much information without spoonfeeding it to the audience because the show RESPECTS its audience.

To recap:

*Blitzo takes Stolas on a first official date to use him

*Stolas is extremely happy about it

*Blitzo gets humilated and looks to Stolas for validation

*Stolas betrays him and breaks his heart

*Blitzo snaps that their relationship is nothing more than lust-driven sex

*Stolas realizes he's actually in love with Blitzo and it's a huge problem because (he believes) that it's unrequited.

*Blitzo breaks down because the ONE person whom he thought would protect him didn't do so.

So these two are convinced that neither one loves the other...while the irony is, it's quite the opposite.

Because if Blitzo REALLY didn't feel anything towards Stolas, he would not have gotten this emotional.

Yes, they are both lonely...but I really don't think that's all there is between them.

So..........we know WHEN they started falling...now the question is why;

I think the answer's quite simple; single-target affection.

It was mentioned in S2 that Stolas and Stella did sleep together ONE TIME...but Stolas didn't enjoy it at all. He is stuck with a wife who hates him so much that she put a HIT on him...and a daughter who thinks he's a loser. Blitzo is pretty much the one person in his life who is able to make him happy. That one small, bright spot. He enjoys the sex with him but he also simply enjoys his company, as shown in Ozzie's episode. He is thrilled to simply talk to him about his day...and do anything else that couples do. They're complete opposites. Stolas is an intellectual but naive and sheltered. Blitzo is poorly educated but cynical and street-smart. Opposites attract...though this is likely more from Stolas's POV than Blitzo's.

In other words, Stolas is into bad boys xD lmao

In Blitzo's case, Stolas is the only character who shows him physical affection which he desperately craves. He's pretty tsundere about it most of the time...but I think he actually does enjoy that attention...especially when he's always getting disrespected by Moxxie and Loona..and quite a lot of people around him. BUT he's too scared to get serious with anyone because of past trauma and he also believes that no one could possibly love him as a person. :(

Reasons I Think This Love is Real

Aside from what I pointed out in the Ozzie's episode...there's quite a lot of evidence, esp from Stolas's POV.

After he realizes he's in love, he goes to Asomodeous for an ALTERNATIVE method for Blitzo to use so they will no longer sleep together. He wants to set Blitzo free. Which means he DOES truly love him because love is about being generous to the other person. He COULD be totally selfish about it but he isn't.

Asomodeous mentions how against love potions he is and Stolas agrees. He thinks that's out of the question.

'Look My Way' music video. Lol I don't have to say anything more.

In S2 E6 OOPS

This exchange at 16:57

Fizz: Seems your taste has gotten more 'regal', lately?

Blitz: Yeah, well unlike you, I fuck who I want WHEN I want. I'm not gonna be tied down to some big blue-blood asshole.

Fizz: You coulda fooled me the way Prince was cozying up to you at Ozzie's.

Blitz (gets very defensive) HEY! Stolas only cares about have a rugged peasant raw-dog him into his mattress, okay!

It's nothing...(gets hesistant and looks away)...you know...

(Fizz gives him a 'bitch please' look xD)

"it's nothing else."

Fizz: Then why were you even there?

Blitz: OTHER very important reasons of course.

Fizz: Whatever. I don't actually care.

Blitz: Stolas is just a loud, thirsty BITCH!

(Fizz is rolling his eyes again)

Blitz: He loves feeling the thrill of getting dicked by the lower class.

It's a novelty to him.

Fizz: LITERALLY just said I don't care!

Blitz: And then he'll call me and try to see how my day was!

And he'll pretend to care about me and comment on my photos laugh at my jokes...

Fizz: (Smirking) OH! That's definitely your clue right there that it's all bullshit!

Blitz: I KNOW, RIGHT??

Fizz: (Making a 'What in idiot' expression, shaking his head)

Blitz: HE'S JUST A FAKE, PRIVELEDGED ASSHOLE...

Fizz: Sounds like you just hate him for being a prince!

No one (laughs) and I mean NO ONE pretends to care that much just for a cheap lay.

All right. IF ANYONE knows what real love is like, it's Fizzaroli...who is in a very HEALTHY relationship with Asomodeous. He recognizes the signs because he's IN that place. He sees it...and he's annoyed that Blitzo keeps denying it and brushing it off...yet clearly can NOT stop talking about Stolas (amusing irony)

To sum up (this freaking essay lol) 'Stolitz' ABSOLUTELY has the potential to be pure and true...these two just need to communicate...or Stolas has to PROVE to Blitzo that he's serious about his feelings in another way.

There is no doubt that this ship is 100% endgame and is a case of the 'Earn Your Happy Ending' Trope. I look forward to the rest of the journey. Ron is putting my feelings about Stolitz in a perfect phrase:

[igotanidea]

Lollipop: Dick Grayson x kid!sister!reader

(part 1 of 4 for the batboys x sister!reader)

This was not supposed to end up like this.

At least at first, cause it was showing signs of impending tragedy.

He was only going to be gone for like 15 minutes with the best intentions of getting his little sister the biggest lollipop available at the fair shop.

And the fact that this beautiful girl was standing there casually, throwing glances his way had absolutely nothing to do with it.

Yes, he was flirty chatty, I mean – can you seriously blame a man with his look and charm? No right? No, of course not.

But, being the responsible older brother, he grabbed his sister and carried her piggyback straight to the shop, while cracking jokes and making the five-year old laugh softly, in the way only little kids can. Literally lighting up his entire world and having a great brother-sister bonding.

„So. Which one of the lollipops would you like Y/N?”

„That one!” she pointed her little fingers to the red and yellow piece of Candy on the display.

„Sure thing, little one, let me handle it for you.”

„Your daughter is so cute…” the girl Dick had an eye on, appeared next to him, flipping her hair flirtatiously, flashing him a bright smile.

Daughter?!

Shit.

Did he look that old that someone might take Y/N for his daughter?!

Was his hair going grey or something?

Did he have wrinkles?

He wasn’t even 30 yet and now he was appearing as a father figure?!

He loved that kiddo, he truly did, but this?

Too much.

„She;s actually my sister” he managed to say even though there was a whirlwind of emotions inside him.

WAS HE OLD NOW?!

„Oh, so cute. And you’re on the babysitter duties I guess?”

„Something like that.”

„Dick!” Y/N squirmed on his shoulders getting impatient and wanting her sweet.

Under any other circumstances in any other company that little word coming out of the word of a five year old would be completely Innocent and harmless, however Y/N had no idea what kind of reaction it may get from a – well- stranger.

“Did you teach her such language?!” the girl frowned in rebuke.

“What?” Dick chuckled nervously “No, no, you don’t understand, this is not a curse, it’s—”

“It sounds like one to me.”

“No!” Dick grinned “It’s actually my name!”

“Your name?” the girl raised an eyebrow “Are you for real right now?”

“Dick!” Y/N cried out again, wriggling so hard she almost fell from his shoulders, but due to some miracle he caught her safely, torn between wanting to smooch her cute little face and hiding her somewhere so she wouldn’t embarrass him even more. “Shh, kiddo. The adults are talking.”

“But I want –”

“I know little one, but if you could just give me five minutes—” Dick held his sister tight to his chest, whispering in his ear but she was not going to take his mysteriousness.

“Hi!” she turned around in her brother’s arms and called upon the girl “you’re pretty.” Her words were only as honest as a kid can be. No filter, no hesitation, no embarrassment and no overthinking.

“Well thank you. I’m Elle.”

“I’m Y/N.” the little girl reached her hand to the older one, squeezing it with the most stern face she could produce still being the cutest human being to walk the earth. “And that’s my brother, Dick. Dick! Come say hi to Elle!”

“That really is your name?”

“It’s Richard actually. But everyone just call me Dick. No subtext, I swear!” he laughed seeing Elle’s sceptic face expression.

“He’s my favorite brother!” Y/N clung to his legs, wrapping those tiny arms around them “yesterday he braided my hair and all the girls in the kindergarten were looking at me with jealousy!”

It was more likely shock, cause “braided” in Dick’s dictionary meant doing so many complex swirls that the complicated hairstyle seemed to stay on the head only by a miracle.

“And he watched all episodes of Dora the explorer with me! He even learned the song, come on Dickie!!” Y/N pulled his trouser leg “come on, sing with me! Jump in! ¡Vámonos! You can lead the way! Hey! Hey!” every exclamation mark was highlighted by the girl's joyful jump.

“Hey! Hey!” Dick grinned getting carried away by the cheerful melody and only after a while realizing that he must be making a fool of himself. “Yeah… um….”

“My brothers love that cartoon too.” Ellie smiled

“Oh, you have brothers?” now that was something the resident flirt could pursue “may it be that they are Y/N’s age?”

“Five and three. Do you think maybe they could hang out?”

“Oh, I absolutely think they could hang out.” Right, because it was all about the younger siblings. “Care to give me your phone number so we can arrange the da--… I mean the acknowledgement?”

Five minutes later Ellie said her goodbye and Dick was left with the very valuable number saved safely in his phone.

“Great job Y/N.” he put his hand up (not too high) so the girl could high (again- not too high) five him.

“Duh!” she scoffed with the face of a girl boss. “But seriously, you should up your game Dick!”

“Up my--? WHAT?! Where did you heard that?!”

“Uncle Wally—”

“Uncle Wally will not get fast enough to run from me now.” Dick hissed

“Hey, Dick?”

“Yeah, Yeah, I know, let’s get you that lollipop first, my little diva. You deserve it.”

He picked her up from the ground and spun joyfully in the air.

Who would have thought that he would actually be the oldest brother to such a tiny precious human, serving perfect role as her guardian angel.

[lopsicle]

Okay,like a couple minutes ago I learned that it is actually trans day of visibility today soo woohoo! Kind of hard to celebrate in this shithole called the UK though, so I’m going to hide on tumblr and talk about which characters I think are trans coded or just Headcanon as trans because it’s my day I can do that now heheheh-

Also, I’m just tryna do a little thing for trans visibility day, I like being opaque, I ain’t trying to start any arguments, if you see a Headcanon you disagree with, just scroll. And if you think I’m biased towards transfem characters, it’s because I am and I ain’t apologising for that, they’re underrated in terms of fandom and obvs I’m transfem so I love them and relate to them more. Transmasc characters still will be on this list though as there’s so many that I love.

Characters That I Think Are Transgender Because Fuck You

Number one: Hunter Noceda (The Owl House)

This was probably the easiest and hardest pick for the list, for a couple reasons. Number one, I don’t think there’s a single person who agreed this pathetic wet cat is cisgender. Whether you think he’s transmasc, transfem, something else entirely, he ain’t cis. It’s clear why the fandom clung to Hunter as the resident trans character, him having a secret identity via The Golden Guard (seriously, any character with a secret identity is immediately trans, I don’t make the rules), the overconfident attitude mixed with deep insecurity and his arc about finding a way to ‘like who he is right now’ in Thanks To Them really just sealed the deal. Other little details like how his hair cuts helped him find his new identity did not help his case.

While I personally think he’s transfem, and am just using he/him because that’s his canon pronouns, Hunter is one of those characters that a lot of people can identify with which is what The Owl House is really about so I kinda had to include him on this list. The reason it was a hard decision is because holy fuck, every single character in this show is trans. Deciding between him and Amity was the hardest choice of my life because transfem Amity is heavily underrated and I love her, but you really can’t compete with Hunter, he’s had an amazing influence on the fandom and the character has probably helped a lot of people come to terms with their identity.

To summarise, Hunter is a great character, I miss him everyday, I miss The Owl House everyday, he was cool as fuck and a lotta people identified with him.

Anne Boonchuy (Amphibia)

This is one that I feel is heavily underrated, and that’s coming from someone that took two years after the show ended to watch Amphibia. With Amphibia, pretty much all of the human characters are Headcanonned (is that a word?) as some part of the trans umbrella but Anne is the one who does not get enough attention, especially for a main character.

At least to me, Anne was very transfem-coded in the show, everything from her raggedy appearance, to her essentially assuming a new life in Amphibia to the arc about accepting who you are to THE SONG ABOUT ACCEPTING WHO YOU ARE-this was the most in your face, trans-coded rep I could ever ask for. But she is criminally underrated in terms of being viewed as trans rep even though I’ve found her story one of the most compelling in terms of trans coded storylines in nearly any piece of media I’ve ever seen. Give Anne more attention, she’s literally the best. Marcy and Sasha are cool too but Anne’s writing deserves so much more praise than it gets.

Dipper Pines (Gravity Falls)

If you haven’t realised it yet, this entire list so far is just one massive fuck you to Disney because fuck Disney. Dipper was the closest we got to having a canon trans main character in a mainstream animated show and it was taken from us, fuck Disney y’all. But still, Alex has all but confirmed Dipper’s identity as trans masculine, you can see remnants of that arc with him learning that he’s a man in his own right and masculinity being something he can define for himself, the whole thing about Dipper actually being a nickname, and him bonding with the men in his life, like Stan.

Even though I didn’t notice it when I was a kid watching the show, rewatching it now with the knowledge of Dipper’s identity makes the experience a bit more personal, I can see bits of myself in Dipper and I think that’s the whole point of his character. Watching it as a kid you can relate to him because of his sarcasm, his bluntness, his comedy but also because of how heroic, adventurous and curious he is, he’s basically the idealistic role of the viewer. But as you get older and think more critically about him, you can see more of his flaws and that makes him so much more real and so much more relatable. Obviously being trans isn’t a flaw, that was just me doing a side tangent because Dipper means the world to me and is only the standard of writing a cartoon protagonist in some ways, I just think he’s a really cool character and Disney robbed us.

Also Pacifica is transfem because TfT couples are hecking adorable

Sallie May (Helluva Boss)

Guess who just realised that (other than Dipper technically) I haven’t put a single canon trans character on this list. Headcanons are better, I don’t make the rules, but Sallie May is amazing. No matter how critical you are of Helluva Boss, one thing it unapologetically does well is queer representation. The amount of characters that the audience can relate to makes it almost addicting to watch as you get to watch these characters live their best lives. Well, their lives are kinda fucked but you get what I mean, they just get to live as queer people, most of the time.

And Sallie May is proof that trans people will eat up absolutely anything, even if it’s a whole thirty seconds of screen time of a trans character. Being fair to her, Sallie May eats up every moment she gets on screen, her dialogue can be equivocated to just a middle child acting like a middle child and I think it is partly that, I feel like we have a lot more to learn about Sallie May and in turn her sister Millie. At least I hope we do, Millie’s writing needs to improve, their family dynamics can be so interesting because every other one of their siblings is a boy, their parents can be judgemental, I feel like even if Sallie May can be a bit taunting to her, those two are probably really close, especially since Millie is one of the people Sallie May would have to go to for girl advice.

To summarise, since I went off on a bit of a tangent, Helluva Boss brings out the worst in me, give Sallie May and Millie more screen time, they’re the best, we love healthy sibling dynamics.

Double Trouble (She-Ra)

Jesus, they’re hot. Anyway, the first non binary entry on this list, the fabulous Double Trouble who stole the entire show from the moment they were introduced. Throughout the entirety of the last season, I can remember just waiting for the point that they’d show up again and nearly screaming when they did.

Double Trouble was one of the most charming members of the She-Ra cast and became effortlessly iconic, conning every single character, playing both sides of a war so that they’d come out on top, and they did win in the end. DT basically had zero consequences and even got to flirt with Sea Hawk when they were reintroduced so they got a win really. Double Trouble was mean, condescending and a liar and I love them so, so much, them being a shapeshifter is just absolutely perfect and fits their character so well. It was nice to see Non-binary rep in a cartoon and have it not immediately be cancelled, looking at Disney and thank God it wasn’t because She-Ra really wouldn’t be the same without this manipulated, child of a bitch

Crowley (Good Omens)

You know the gender’s hitting when you don’t even know what the fuck the gender is. Crowley is a delight of the character from the moment they’re introduced to the end of the show, which nearly broke my heart since I watched it just recently, if anybody would like to send me tissues, that would be greatly appreciated.

From my vast research of one google search, I’ve concluded that they’re gender is up to viewer interpretation which is actually what mine is too so I can respect that. This literal demon stole the show whenever they were on screen, whether it was David Tenant’s acting, the moments we saw softer sides of him, her pinning over Aziriphale of them just being an actual demon, Crowley is a wonderful piece of representation and I hate that because it makes me sad, let them get together, please.

KFC

Not to be confused with that one place that makes pretty good chicken, I’m talking about the protagonists of two of the best RPGs ever made, Undertale and Deltarune.

For those unaware, KFC is the trio name of Frisk, Undertale’s protagonist, Chara, Undertale’s narrator and Kris, Deltarune’s narrator. Despite them being the main characters, they’re not characterised too strongly as you are in control of them for most of the game, minus Chara who specifically says you aren’t in control of them. Due to it being canon to the games that you are playing as these characters, the Internet started a rumour that they are whatever gender you want them to be, which was just never true. Undertale is packed with trans representation, and these three are no exception. It’s the whole reason I added them to the list actually, just to get the message across if anyone was unsure; they’re all Nonbinary.

Frisk and Kris, despite only having glimmers of their true characters in the game, are still very lovable and intriguing with their actions. Even just the idea of these two being controlled, which is more of a heavy theme in Deltarune, is enough to make you interested in their characters, especially when Kris starts fighting back against you. This entire section is just gonna be a couple paragraphs of me fighting back the urge to yap about Undertale lore so you’ll have to forgive me. Chara, being the only one not under your control, has a much stronger character through the lines of dialogue from them or said about them, the latter usually being more interesting as it gives you insight to their tragic life.

Undertale is one of my favourite and given the amount of rep it’s given us, I had to pay homage to its own main characters on this list. Even though I’m hungry cause now I’m thinking about KFC.

Jake Peralta (Brooklyn Nine Nine)

I think it’s been a year since I finished tumblr’s favourite sitcom and while Jake was lovable, he didn’t stand out to me too much. Still, this guy suffered from that overconfidence but riddled with insecurity personality which lead to him being inevitably headcanonned (it’s a word I decided) as trans masculine. I don’t know what the correlation is between those kinds of characters and the transmasc headcanon, maybe it’s the desire to present as being that confident, maybe it’s being that confident but still held back by struggles about your gender identity but that’s neither here nor there.

What is here and is there is that this show was amazing for trans people, even if only in small ways and Jake was no exception to that. He was funny and watching him grow through those eight seasons gives you one of the most satisfying and heart throbbing conclusions to a TV show, largely due to his presence as the main character. Even though it’s not canon that he was trans masculine, the Headcanon is so popular that I had to pay homage to him and add him to the list.

Jack Kennedy (DSAF)

Is this fandom so dead and so unpopular that I couldn’t find a good gif? Yes. Am I gonna talk about it anyway because I love these games and I want an excuse and this is my day? Yes.

Anyway, Jack Kennedy was the main protagonist of the Day Shift at Freddy’s games and if you don’t know what those are, there’s a 50% chance you had an alright childhood. DSaF is obviously a fan game of the more well known horror franchise Five Nights at Freddy’s and I think they are some of the best fa games ever made. They’re hilarious, they’re so low budget it’s insane, it can give you the hardest tonal whiplash of not taking itself seriously to one of the hardest stories you’ve ever went through seamlessly and I don’t even get a fuck. The story told by these games is done so well and evokes so many emotions but one important thing it’s done is actually be really great for queer rep.

Despite it being played for more of a joke in the earlier games, the two characters Jack and Dave Millie clearly have romantic chemistry and that was so important back when the games released since they became so mainstream due to being attached to a popular franchise. Many fans headcanon Jack Kennedy as being non binary, which is a label that I think really works for them, mainly because it fits for the protagonists of roleplay games to be non binary. I can’t explain why, it just makes presenting the character to the audience so much easier and makes them a lot easier to play without having to worry too much about the gender of the character.

Anyway, Jack’s a self described asshole with a noble goal, and playing as them really gives you a feel of their character and makes you understand why this little known indie franchise snuck into so many people’s hearts.

Bridget (Guilty Gear Rising)

You know I had to end off the list with one of the most iconic, canon, transfem characters out of there. Pretty much every single transfem has heard of Brisket and not a single one has played Guilty Gear Rising, I had to look up the name of this game just before this to make sure I got the right one.

Bridget has recently become a meme on the Internet, with every other transfem having her in her pfp, Bridget became a staple in the community. As stated, I can’t talk too much about her character but seeing the Internet come together to just appreciate this one transfem character, despite their being obvious hate and pushback and claiming her being canon transfem was a ‘mistranslation’ (to my knowledge) was actually really heart warming.

I didn’t really get trans day of visibility too much, I was happy for it, thought it was cool we got a day but it didn’t really help us all that much. But the more I thought about Bridget is the more that I saw just how good it can feel when people come together. It doesn’t have to be a movement or a call to action to save trans people from another bill trying to wipe them out, which is just depressing to listen to, it can just be as simple as joking about this character that barely any of us know. That level of community made me understand what this day was actually about; finding common ground and letting at least one other person know that they’re not alone, that there’s so many people just like you out there, that went through the exact same thing as you did at some point. And to let you know, those people turned out fine, so you’ll be okay too.

Happy trans day of viability everyone, even if this list only reaches one person to let them know they’re not alone, I’ll be happy with that.

Anyway, ignore the emotional stuff there, here’s my honourable mention of

EVERY SINGLE SPIDERMAN, SPIDERWOMAN, SPIDERPERSON, TO EVER EXIST, THEY’RE ALL TRANS, YOU CAN’T CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE

[neuroticbookworm]

FRIENDS. FRIENDS.

Cooking Crush is undoubtedly one of the best shows airing at the moment.

Today's episode gave me so much life that I don't even know where to begin, but I'm gonna try my best to pull two (2) coherent thoughts out of my melting brain.

1. The Three Must-Eat-eers Conflict and Resolution:

Last episode had set up such a perfect conflict that's rarely handled well in any media: the bruised feelings of the single friend when the rest of the gang gets into committed romantic relationships. Most of the time this scenario shows up in media, one party will be framed as selfish and/or jealous. None of that nonsense here; Cooking Crush has always taken the friendship of its characters very seriously, especially Prem, Dynamite and Samsee. Samsee’s feelings were hurt not just because of his own fears of being abandoned by his friends, he was also (rightfully) mad that he ended up as the only friend who was kept out of the loop of knowing that his best friends had boyfriends now. But Prem and Dynamite did not intend to do this, and they were also right to set their own pace in making their relationship public, but it’s just that the string of accidental reveals happened in an order that made Samsee feel like a third-wheeler in his own home, twice over.

Cooking Crush treats its characters with a lot of kindness and empathy and it shows. Prem and Dy wanting to keep their relationships under wraps for the time being is valid. Samsee feeling hurt and lost, and opting out of the competition is valid. This episode begins with the drama of the cooking competition and works its comedy (thank you for the chuckles, wildly gesticulating White Man) and romance (my poor heart swooned all over my rib cage when Ten helped Prem into his chef clothes). And when the time came for the big reconciliation, the show does not sweep away Samee’s very hurt feelings just because Prem and Dy struggled without Samsee for most of the first round of cooking. He apologizes for ditching them and Dy was having none of it.

(Dy, my perfect child, oh how I love you with my entire heart)

Perfect resolution. and a well-earned, most adorable group hug to bookend it. I truly could not be more in love with this show. Or can I?

2. Miscommunication? Nah.

Well, this episode also featured the Annoying Asshole Chef dude who’s determined to pursue Prem even though it is very clear that Prem is not interested and would reject his advances, if only he stuck around long enough to actually get rejected and not run away from him like a goddamn coward. I was furious when he positioned himself as an actual option for Prem to Ten in this episode, and thoroughly enjoyed every moment Ten chose to call him out on his bullshit.

But y’all. The very inappropriate hug. The well-deserved punch to his stupid face. The storm-off. All of it had me very concerned that this is all barrelling towards a classic miscommunication moment.

BUT NO.

THE SHOW SAID THERE WILL BE NO STUPID MISCOMMUNICATION.

NOT IN THIS HOUSE.

My problem with the miscommunication trope is that it ultimately positions the couple we are supposed to be rooting for as a weak team. Honest communication and vulnerability in a new-ish relationship is not easy, and it takes a lot of courage to take that step to be the one to spell out the facts, and trust that the other person likes them well enough to keep an open ear, and believe them when they say a meddling cowardly asshole is trying to get in the way of their relationship. Ten’s bravery was perfectly contrasted with the sliminess of the Annoying Cowardly Chef (I refuse to learn his name, he is not worth my braincells).

Oh but Ten wasn’t done yet!

I absolutely adore how he moves the conversation away from that pesky little pest of a human towards something that matters more: his desire to make things official with Prem. The Annoying Asshole Chef was not the focus of the conversation, Ten and Prem are. And it all culminates in an incredible kiss and a camera swoop that already has a permanent little shrine in my silly little head.

TAKE MY HEART, COOKING CRUSH. TREAT IT WELL.

[radiosummons]

My sister has been showing me episodes of OG Trigun--mostly in preparation for Trigun Stampede--but also because it's one of her favorite manga of all time.

And holy SHIT I cannot even begin to explain how fucking batshit this show is. Just hearing Johnny Yong Bosch's voice alone immediately sent me back at least fifteen years.

I have watched all episodes of OG Trigun while drunk, high and sober. And regardless of my state of inebreiation, I was always left with the exact, inescapable feeling of wanting to fucking die from the sheer nostalgic cringe and insanity of it all. I hate this show. I love this show. I'm fucking obsessed.

So, to all those who are curious (or would just like a mini idea of how to compare OG Trigun with Trigun Stampede)--here is my comprehensive list of things that ACTUALLY happened in Trigun that make me go absolutely batshit just thinking about them:

The sheer insanity of the--balls to the walls, barely held together with ducktape, spit and shoestring--of a plot, all with apparently little to no accuracy to the manga whatsoever. This both amuses and horrifies my sister.

The absolute refusal on the part of the anime to actually explain literally anything. Like the fact that the show takes place in space. Or why humanity is on a desert planet. Or what Plants are, why they're important, why they're there, literally ANYTHING.

Seriously, if you've only ever watched the anime you would have no fucking clue what the Plants are or what they even do. And THEY'RE LITERALLY ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT BITS OF LORE/A HUGE PART OF THE PLOT OF THE ENTIRE FUCKING MANGA.

A major bit of Trigun's lore/setting is just straight up the events of Wall-E.

Johnny Yong fucking Bosch as Vash's English VA. Enough said.

Vash--by simply existing and (mostly) through no direct fault of his own--is capable of wrecking such sheer and complete utter devastation that there's an actual insurance policy people can file after their town is destroyed in the aftermath of him visiting. Iconic.

Monev is just Spiderman's Venom but with a purple and orange reskin. This was intentional on part of the creator as he is obsessed with Venom. Good on him.

This is only specific to the English Dub (we switched to the original sub for the more "serious" episodes, calm down), but HOLY FUCK the absolutely atrocious line deliveries somehow make the show even worse and yet ultimately so much funnier all at the same time!

Millions Knives is the name of Vash's twin brother.

Vash is bisexual. There are multiple occassions where he will call a random male character "Cute" or "Cutie." Somehow, I am not the least bit surprised.

Christianity exists. And the Church trains orphans to be assassins. This makes perfect sense.

"LUUV AND PEEEEAAACCCCCEEE!!!!"

In the second episode of the series (English Dub), there's an actual scene where an old man and his grandson LOUDLY lament the absolute devastation of their home in the most inappropriately cheerful and candid way possible. And then the fucking kid follows that up by just singing out of fucking nowhere "~Bad times are here LALALALALA!!!!!~"

Vash is part gun.

According to "company regulations," as insurance workers Milly and Meryl are not allowed to take part time jobs. They later take part time jobs. My broke ass resonated too fucking hard with this bit.

"Oh, maaaan! Why can't I just get a break?! Death and poverty like me so much, they've brought friends!" Fucking. Mood.

At one point, Vash does the crab walk to dodge a barrage of bullets. This is, surprisingly, quite effective.

"I'll whack you, mister!"

Legato's introduction is him sitting down on a bench and then PULLING A HOT DOG OUT OF A PAPER BAG WITH A HUMAN HEAD IN IT!!!!

Legato has his own personal saxophone player that just follows him everywhere???????

"Oh my. I'm about to go down in ~fllaaaaaammeesssss!~"

Wolfwood.

In EP 16, someone just starts randomly scatting in the background for no reason. No explanation is ever offered.

"My name is .... VASH DA STAMPEDE-DUUUH!!!!!"

Also in EP 16, one of the villains for that episode sounds, deadass, exactly like Jar Jar Binks. I am not joking.

Legato can blood bend.

There's a mini episode dedicated to Milly and Meryl. Vash shows up for five seconds hiding in a trash can. The joke writes itself.

"The DEADLY DODGEBALL HEAD!!! A simple technique to hold the ball in place with INTENSE SUUUCTION!! Try this at home! ;)"

Knives eats an apple, cuts his own hair and enters his impromptu emo arc.

Legato gets horny over the idea of Vash crying. Idk what to tell you, man.

Wolfwood shoots a child. Granted, said child was gonna try to kill Vash and a bunch of orphans. But still.

Vash makes up a dark song about murdering and killing people. The villains of that episode proceed to roast him for his shit lyrics.

Wolfwood doesn't understand why everyone is mad at him for KILLING A CHILD.

"I meditate diligently every morning. The subjects are life and love ... I quit after three seconds."

The actually downright amazing OST, that has no right to be as good as it is. No joke, one of the best anime OSTs I have ever heard in my life.

"And if you're still having doubts, check out my 100% accurate gunmanship!" *proceeds to shoot directly at the sky only then for a black cat to fall directly on his head. The cat's fine btw*

At a certain point, Vash fakes his identity, gets a disguise and goes under a false name. Said false name being "Eriks." He looks like if someone ran Hohenheim through the washer and then hung him on a clothesline for a week. I have ... no fucking words.

"What is this strange phenomena? Is it some sort of strange and twisted Christian science!?"

For as menacing as they make Legato out to be, he sure does shit all in the grand scheme of things. Also he looks like he raids Seto Kaiba's closet on the DL and duels monsters on weekends.

Vash will randomly have Bishie eyes. Arguably, his most Bishie moment is right after Wolfwood punches him in the face. I'll let you infer what you want from this.

Rem randomly appears out of nowhere to taunt Vash with nonsense riddles and haikus. No explanation is ever given until EP 17 for who Rem is, why she keeps reappearing in Vash's mind, if she's even a real person or just someone Vash made up, etc. Because of this, it just looks like Vash keeps receiving American Beauty-style rose shower psychic attacks while a random woman just spouts absolute nonsense at him. There is no way this explanation will prepare you for the actual experience of watching it.

 "I am known as Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz-" *prolonged pause* "-Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser the Third. Don't hestitate to call."

Vash gets adopted by an old woman and her granddaughter. It's actually kind of sweet.

A minor villain in EP 18 demands that Vash strip and then act like a dog. He proceeds to do both without a single objection. Wolfwood pulls down his sunglasses and leers at Vash's naked ass. My sister has informed me that this is actually canonical.

Rem is a hyper Christian.

Wolfwood takes personal offense to a burlesque dancer being absolute shit at dancing. Honestly ... I can't even argue with him.

"Hey, 'Thou Shalt Not Kill,' REMEMBER!? WHAT KIND OF CHURCH MAN ARE YOU!!!?"

Vash saves a town's Plant through the power of Bishie.

While trying to save a child, Vash and Wolfwood both get sucked into quicksand. Said child just watches them go into the ground. I would have done the same.

Milly, Vash and Wolfwood decide to share drinks and before any of them even take a single shot, Milly decides to strip naked. Vash and Wolfwood are very pleased by this. Meryl is not.

"WHOSE idea was it to USE THE GRENADE!!!?? He can't be identified for the reward if he's a pile of pulp, YOU DUMBASS!!!!"

Wolfwood calls Vash pathetic. This kickstarts yet another existential crisis within Vash.

"Thank GOD you asked! It's a long story, although it's kind of a short one."

For literally no reason at all, child Knives decides to embrace his Anti-Christ symbolism and goes full Joker mode. This is not at all accurate to the manga.

Vash and Knives are aliens/Plants. Rem thinks they're actual Christian angels. Deadass.

Milly forces Wolfwood to pretend to be her baby daddy for a whole episode. For pudding. Yup.

Vash enters a dom/sub relationship with a Pokemon gym leader looking lady and they engage in extremely explicit pet play.

Anyway, watch OG Trigun. If you've ever watched any sort of anime abridged series, it will definitely make things a little easier for you. There are definitely too many points at which this show feels like a YouTube Poop and I mean in that best and worst possible way.

Also Meryl is Best Girl. I will not budge on this.

[nanomooselet]

Little but Fierce

Now, I might be mistaken, but judging by the number of bare pectoral muscles strewn over my dash at any given moment, I'm gonna say Wolfwood is pretty popular? And that's understandable (he's a loser <3) but it's a genuinely terrible shame that Meryl gets overlooked. Especially in Stampede. Orange have done some really amazingly cool things with Meryl.

And it makes me a little nervous to say so, but I think they only could have done them by detaching her from Milly, at least for a time. Milly's still going to show up and I'm confident from this precedent they'll treat her well, so I'm at peace with her absence for now.

Nightow is unexpectedly good in many ways. He treats sex workers as human, which is a low bar that many nevertheless fail to clear, and my only serious disappointment in Maximum was in how the girls vanished for long periods. I recall an interview where he said something to the effect of being reluctant to put them in harm's way, and while I'm disinclined to take anything Nightow says entirely at face value (I don't think he's a liar, but I do think he has a sense of humour that inclines him to kindly trolling, which I respect), that would line up, I think.

I think Orange are taking the opportunity to remedy this disappointment.

It's exciting. It's the kind of writing for female characters in genre media I've always craved. I will not be silenced on how extremely gay I am for Meryl Stryfe.

Unfortunately that means for this first entry, I'll have to talk about Knives. (Whom I also love, but not in a gay way. More an affectionate revulsion. He's fascinatingly horrible, this man.)

So. I've noticed a distressing tendency for Knives's... really almost anything that ever comes out of his mouth (seriously) to be taken as the honest, objective truth. After all, they didn't call him a villain.

And what an honest face he has!

As Knives has it:

Vash is pretty, but he's useless without his brother. He's a powerless, weak, pathetically naïve, blubberingly sentimental little baby who doesn't care about the Plants, too busy enabling humanity's abuse via performing his cringing, grasping abasement before them to notice how his brethren suffer. Knives himself is the more powerful (and much less human-like) of the twins; the strongest and most righteous activist for necessary change now that, sadly despite all good faith attempts at communication, non-violent solutions have failed. He truly has only the best and most altruistic intentions: the freedom of his people, and the happiness of his brother.

Here's the problem. This has always been the problem. Every one of the statements in the paragraph above is false. Except the one about Vash being pretty.

Once more with feeling: They are completely untrue. They are supported by literally nothing. All we have is his word that they're true and there's so much existing evidence to disprove his claims that even the thought of compiling it exhausts me.

However, I did say that Zazie is a truth-teller in this story, didn't I? So let's examine some of Zazie's conclusions.

Now, I've seen reference to the surviving human communities on No Man's Land as "colonisers", and that their treatment of the Plants even before the Fall is analogous to slavery. (My strong suspicion is that Knives is purposefully invoking those comparisons, in fact.) Those are both extremely loaded analogies, culturally and emotionally, and I just want to gently, respectfully caution those who make them against overlooking the more nuanced and purposeful analogies being made. Or maybe should I say, the actual individuals to whom they apply.

Zazie is very careful to say this: Knives told them humans can't be trusted to learn from consuming their home planet. Knives was the one who said humans will have Zazie's planet next, and that only Knives will "use" the Plants correctly - so Zazie should ally with Knives.

Here's what Knives meant by "using the Plants correctly":

I, uh, think Zazie may have made the wrong call on this one! And that Zazie thinks the same.

This is what makes the interaction with Wolfwood so funny and sad - the all-knowing, ostensibly unkillable Zazie is freaking the hell out, staggering under the weight of realising just how apocalyptically badly they have fucked up. Wolfwood, who also directly instigated this disaster but under duress, is grimly amused - he did everything he did fulfilling the contract to protect the kids, even as his conviction failed, even though he would rather have died, even after Livio... and thus he personally rendered all his own efforts and sacrifices moot.

And he's just like, "Heh, yeah. That tracks." This poor boy.

Afterwards, Zazie is confused and even a little saddened that Vash was demonised in the wake of July's destruction. Never let it be said the bug fails to learn from experience: Vash is the one everyone blames? Ah, so he was in fact spectacularly heroic and clever and it's entirely Knives's fault it turned out so badly.

Also, crashing on this specific planet wasn't exactly humanity's choice. Guess whose choice it was.

Go on, guess. Better yet, guess why.

Yeah. It was also Knives who said to Zazie that both he and Vash crashed the ships... trying to stop us. From doing exactly what Knives tried to do the very instant he got the chance.

The thing is, Knives does everything he can to look like he's right by positioning himself as the most authoritative source, but he isn't ever backed up by like... facts. Or evidence. Or reality. Or anything. Ever. He crowned himself king of the Plants. He speaks and acts for them by divine right, apparently. He didn't take a vote or anything - in his mind it's self-evident only he understands the world, and Vash, and the correct way to use the Plants. Because remember that it's not using Plants he gives a damn about, even using them to death in the Last Run, as long it's him doing it. It's being dependent upon humans; he views providing for our basic survival needs as wasteful and inherently, exclusively parasitic, even if we're helping the Plants to survive in turn. Because it's humans that he's frightened of, and he wants the yucky things gone.

The thing is, when he's not being purposefully manipulative (though Vash is the only one he manipulates in person, probably because Vash is the only one he pays enough attention to for his tactics to be effective) he's being a dense fucking idiot. At very few points do his delusions intersect with reality.

The thing is, Knives is a known, proven, and entirely unrepentant liar. It's the logical extension of the way he gaslights Vash. He is in no way a trustworthy source of information.

All that he says is part of a heroic narrative about being the specialest boy evar that he came up with to avoid taking any blame or responsibility for the consequences of his actions. Knives considers himself perfect, but he's made plenty of mistakes, which I do think he would consider mistakes - among them Rem's death, alienating Vash, cutting off his arm and rendering him disabled, and what I suspect to be the large number of Plants killed in the Fall, along with the ones consumed by the Last Run in the desperation that followed.

So he tells himself... little stories. Inside his head. It's how he reconciles it. It's how he copes.

Basically, if you want to find any truth in anything Knives ever says, look closely at what he says, and believe the opposite.

Now, onto my girl and how completely fantastic she is.

Part II

Part III

Part IV

Part V

Part VI

Part VII

Part VIII

Part IX

[hils79]

Hils Watches Tibetan Sea Flower - Ep 4

Now that I'm back at work I won't be able to watch as quickly as I did yesterday but I think after this week the release schedule is meant to slow down a bit. We'll see how we get on.

Wait, how many years are we talking?

Is this the first time we've seen Wu Yiqiong in a drama?

Ah, we're back to new young Wu Xie again

Ooh a new Wu Sanxing too

So Wu Laolou says he must be cremated within 2 hours of his death, no one should be 30 meters or less away from the cremator and no one must look inside the cremator after he's been cremated. Did he...swallow something?

Oh no I know exactly what this is. Fuck, I'm tearing up already

IS THE STATUE CRYING?? 😭

For some extra knives in the novel Wu Xie runs to this statue when his life is in danget because he feels safer with Xiaoge nearby even if it's just a statue of him

Of course everyone wants to marry Pangzi. And we all know he's doing to drop everything if Wu Xie needs him.

And of course Wu Xie knows that Pangzi would drop everything for him so he pretends that everything is fine. I AM DEEP INTO MY PANGXIE FEELS ALREADY AND THEY HAVEN'T EVEN HAD SCREENTIME YET

Honestly I'm amazed it's taken 4 episodes for Wu Xie to figure out this is a trap. And he didn't even figure it out, Pangzi did and he's not even there.

I love Pangzi so much!

Yep there we go. From 'I'm happy where I am because everyone wants to marry me' to 'stay put I'm coming to get you' in the space of 5 mins

He's so happy that Pangzi is coming for him 🥺

Of course Wu Xie has decided to try and befriend the one woman in this place who looks like she wants to kill him by stepping on him. He has a type and that type is women who could snap him like a twig.

You can definitely tell this is towards the end of Sha Hai era Wu Xie from the way he's meticulously setting traps and cataloguing the fingerprints of suspects. This is a man who has worked hard to wipe out an entire clan to keep Xiaoge safe

Man who frequently has hot women trying to kill him is surprised to learn that a hot woman is trying to kill him

Has he seriously got an internet connection in a monestary at the top of a mountain?

I recognise that voice. And that walk. OMG it's finally happening.

CHEN MINGHAO MY BELOVED!!!! I legit just started crying because I am a huge loser. I HAVE MISSED HIM SO MUCH 😭

LMAO Wu Xie's face! But...um...okay, there's a thing in the novel that I kind of assumed wouldn't make it into the drama but now I'm not so sure...

Oh thank god! So, in the novel they first start off by communicating via Pangzi writing messages on the toilet stall wall in his own shit. When he talked about having diarrhoea I had a brief moment of terror that they were going to go there 😅 NPSS really does like to include gross stuff involving bodily fluids in his novels

God look at him

I'm such an idiot I know who this is and I still gasped when someone with Wu Xie's face showed up unexpectedly. I won't spoil it for those who haven't read the novel

There we go! That's the Wu Xie I've been waiting to see!

Now the two Wu Xies are bickering. Where's my popcorn?

Still not used to this drama actually having a budget. Where are the wonky special effects?

I hope the bickering continues for a while this is fun

Human skin mask my beloved plot device

IS THAT ZHU YILONG'S FACE???

[lokiiied]

my thoughts on the making of loki s2:

• “our approach was really doubling down on who loki cares about, who we care about.” and then having season 2 centre around loki & mobius’ relationship, how he cares for his friends, and sylvie’s independence & what she wants/fought for like okay cool got it.

• “tom is the author of all things loki” he really, truly is. bless him.

• ke huy quan must be protected at all costs the world does not deserve him

• loml rafael casal 💞💅🏻

• “mobius can be eccentric, because loki is eccentric, he just is. but they don’t see themselves that way. they’re the straight man (???) in this absurd world.” 🤨🧐 kevin…you were going somewhere and then you lost me.

• “this is her first chance to experiment with freedom, with choice.” (about sylvie). and her choosing a simple life, with the comfort of routine and connecting with a few particular humans and just appreciating life. the little things. with no romantic motivations that we see. big aspec energy.

and then replaying the scenes where she says “my life’s here now” and “your friends are where they belong. we’re all writing our own stories” like. yeah. just reiterating how important this life she’s built is to her and she has no interest in going back. she appreciates loki & mobius and the others in helping her to keep/save free will - but aside from that, she’d be fine never seeing them again. because if she did - it would probably mean trouble. fighting again. running again. and she’s already spent her whole life fighting and running. she’s tired. of course she was upset they kept seeking her out, cuz she thought she was done. that she fixed everything that mattered. even though she didn’t. but now she gets to live. and be sylvie. “not a loki” and to figure out who that is.

• 700 PAGE BOOK??!!? isaac bauman, the cinematographer. wrote a 700 PAGE “cinematography bible” of the entire visual language of the show. down to the smallest lights. the pure tism dedication. this is what i’m talking about when i say everything is intentional. every shot. the lighting. the tone. every time someone writes an analysis about these themes in this show - just one page of this mans work is appreciated. i never want to hear anyone talking shit about “reading too much” into cinematography. i have isaac bauman’s loki cinematography bible on my side.

• wunmi is so funny and warm i love her energy

• TOM “HELPING” OWEN UP THE STAIRS. 🫴🏻dead.

• christopher townsend sounds EXACTLY like an older tom holland it’s tripping me up

• “what is it mobius says…” tom says and then recites the line word for word. as if loki wasn’t thinking of that line while sacrificing himself. as if mobius’ words weren’t echoing over him in the final shot of the show. he’s so funny.

• speaking of…owen only talked for like 5 minutes what?? probably started rambling about mobius’ gay feelings for loki and they cut it :/ seriously though did they just not ask him questions?? his presence felt weirdly lacking.

• tom hiddleston everyone. our lord and saviour

[menthum-mint]

SORRY TUMBLR PEOPLE

I HAVE BROUGHT GOODS

FEED

FOR YOU HAVE A FEAST NOW

I think

Okay but in all seriousness, i have completed two references and also made more concept designs for some others, heh-

So for now, we look to the references, because up first. The man himself.

Tatiana Darling? Wally Qwartz? Idk. But I can say thay he is hot stu-[BOOING CHORUS]

Up next, Neon Frank and his bot boys!

I will say that the bots do likely have 'human' forms, but I didn't feel too bothered at the time to worry about it, besides, Frank's in the spotlight, who really cares? (Some may and I'm looking at you with understanding eyes)

And now, for the last finished piece I have

Sweethearts, the both of them🥺🥺

Oh how sweet they always are with one another

(Frank threatens to launch himseld into space to follow after Eddie when the protagonist launch him into space... And speaking of the protagonists.. Let's just say [the] (Vinyl) Neighborhood isn't quite the same without You ;) wink wink)

And now for a few concepts!

DJ Howdy Pillar! Just a local radio show host looking to get local bands' voices heard even if they're all starting out small!

Since there is no actual shop in game, and the fact DJ Zam is an actually pretty prominent NPC (plus funny canon voice for Howdy), who else but Howdy for Zam's place? Welcome to Howdy MD people! :)

Now?

Let me just say that B.B. Beagle and Tatiana Darling (still dunno) are still very much good friends, even despite the large age gap. To Wally, it feels like.. It feels like he knows Barnaby, but on a deeper level, like they were old friends somehow, and they were reunited.. His jokes make him laugh as if the man knew exactly what made him tick.

Weird...

Though, dogs are trult man's best friend

And one more design (which is definitely very subject to change [to make look softer and more accurate to a youngling])

Poppy!

Now, I still have yet to truly figure out what is going on, but I will say Poppy is definitely very much the youngest in this AU, and unlike in most other places, she is not the mother figure, she is loved ever so gently by the rest (shown by the way Frank loathes your name for having destroyed her piano. The way it tears are the heart strings of onlookers to see her precious instrument shatter, the shards scattered wildly upon the floor of the stage.

How cruel of you. She's only 9..

Bonus obligatory Howdy Bean based off of Cofi's lil beans🥺🥺 I had to, it was legally required by law or else I'd be sniped on sight

But anyhow, I suppose this concludes the update. I'm not entirely sure if I can even explain more or if I even have more of an idea to explain, but if there are any questions, by all means send in an Ask and I'll try to answer them all without giving too much away until I can truly get things going. ;)))

See you :0!

And sorry again for no update in forever.😭😭😭