#like. before-the-river a while
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Hanzawa masato’s life is not sad. He has perfect grades, a put together family, close loving friends, a great track record and resume. He’s not too poor nor too rich, not too reserved nor too out there, and he’s in perfect of health as he can be. Compared to his friends and family he’s normal. No detrimental mental illness no unusual circumstances. Eccentricities aside, he’s the normal one, and hanzawa masato’s life is not sad.
Hanzawa masato knows everyone else’s problems. Why not add being a therapist on top of his many duties. Giver of advice, taker of none, no one knows Masato’s problems. He doesn’t have any—he’s normal of course. He doesn’t complain because there’s nothing to complain about. The pressure he feels from his mother isn’t a problem. His worries about his brothers isn’t a problem. His worries about his friends isn’t a problem. His constant duties and obligations isn’t a problem. That twisting feeling in his gut isn’t a problem. His inability to say no isn’t a problem. His uncertainty in the future isn’t a problem. His lack of anyone to confide in isn’t a problem. He’s a therapist now, he can counsel himself just fine. Not that he needs counseling.
#this has been in my drafts since aahhh March 12#something something an exterior so perfectly cultivated hes not sure what’s left inside#thoughts about him I’ve had for a while#like. before-the-river a while#me? projecting onto hanzawa masato? more likely than you think#it tends to happen when societal and academic pressures get to me#world spins madly on.#hanzawa masato#sunnfish.hzsr
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Rogue is Jack
Rogue is the Master
Rogue is a pre-Hartnell doctor
#dw#doctor who#doctor who spoilers#god i hope i am wrong i hope he is the master lmao#no but on a serious note this is one of my biggest pet peeves in this fandom#I'm guilty of this as well and while I think there's nothing wrong in fan-theorising it got out of hand recently#a 40/50+ kinda evil-ish woman cannot exist in this universe without someone screaming “Rani” (god I wish. that someone is me)#and a whimsical evil character will always either be the master or the valeyard#like...jack didn't exist before#and neither did river song#we CAN and SHOULD have new original recurring characters without it being in reference to the expanded universe#or to old seasons#end rant#this ain't really a rant just considerations
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DC x DP Idea
After several years, Danny and Damian meet each other again at a gala. But there was no heartfelt reunion since the moment they led eyes on each other it was all-out war. Damian takes out a sword from somewhere and Danny just starts throwing hands.
The fighting is intense, and blood is being spilled (what are those glowing green specks?). They are screaming at each other in Arabic as it's easier to slip back to your mother tongue when in rage right? This makes the fight more personal.
Most people don't understand what they're saying but those who do look at the boys then Bruce. Bruce then back to the boys again. Like B, we know you're stupid but you fucked this person twice.... did you NOT see the red flags the SECOND TIME!?!?
The fight ends with Damian on the ground with the sword grazing his neck. He looks up to Danyal with the fear of god in his eyes, knowing that with one swift movement, he'll be dead on the dance floor. But Danny's eyes were cold and tired, they were dead. No spark, no sense of life in those chilling blue depths.
Calmly, Danny spoke to Damian. His voice was crystal clear, cool like a mountain stream.
"Just because you jumped into the fire behind me doesn't mean you felt the pain I did. Your hand was held above the flames while I was being burnt in the fucking fire."
Damian begins to cry because he knows that Danny is right. No matter what he went through, it would never compare to what happened to his big brother. Even more so, when he feels long lanky arms wrap around him, a cool hand rubbing his back soothingly, and whispers of sweet nothingness entering his ears.
He cries because no matter what he does he will never be like his big brother.
#dpxdc#dc x dp#dp x dc prompt#dp x dc crossover#Danny and Damian have a five-year age gap#so he's like 11-ish when he leaves the league and Damian was 6-ish#Damian didnt have a place in the league before Danny left and was trained like any other soldier#When Danny left and he got the title of heir to the demons head he clung onto it#Ras realize that training Damian like he did Danny would only lead to disaster so he was 'lighter' on him#Damian noticed but didn't say anything about it#During training#he was constantly fed lies and half-truths about Danny#while simultaneously hearing his praises while he got barely any#this caused him to hate Danny#Ra knew Danny was alive but also knew that hunting him would be a horrible idea#Danny hops around the world for a few years until he's adopted by the Fentons a year before the DP series#I would like to add that Damian is like a raging fire reading to burn everything in his path#until he cools down and he becomes a small flame of warmth and comfort#Danny is like a river clam cool and refreshing until you piss him off and he introduce you to the rapids#or worse#look up The Strid#dp dc crossover#dp x dc#dcxdp#dc x dp prompt
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yuuta is the boyfriend BAWLING when he has to drop you off at the airport. it doesn’t really matter how long you’ll be gone, he will be crying, and he’s gonna cry just as hard when he picks you up again too. but that’s not surprising, neither is saying that satoru smothers you in affection and soft gazes but waits until you’re gone and he’s back home to let the tears out. the real gag is that toji is also crying. it doesn’t happen when he drops you off, or when he gets home, and honestly he’s fine for the first few days—crabbier than usual, slower than usual, groggier than usual—but, fine. it’s somewhere around the third or fourth day of your absence that he finds himself crying, unintentionally. he feels the tears on his lips before he realizes they’re falling from his eyes, and there’s a moment of confusion and then a soft laughter of disbelief before he lets the rest of them fall. he doesn’t really know why he’s crying even while he’s crying. he doesn’t sob or make noise or smush his head into a pillow, but when he gets up to wipe his face, he’s confronted with his reflection in the mirror and that’s when it hits him: he’s sad. if you’d asked toji, he’d say he hasn’t experienced true sadness before that moment. despite all the shitty things in his life, he held a sort of neutral, it is what is attitude about it all—but that’s not the case with you. toji’s sad because he misses you and it’s probably the first time in his life he cries because he can Feel something is missing inside of him
#toji fushiguro my beloved…………………#ok but yuuta really is crying a river LMFAO#he cries when he drops you off when you’re gone when he picks you up and even for a day after you’re back#he’s just…… he has big wet doe eyes !!! you can’t blame him#satoru’s eyes are SOOO wobbly but ofc he plays it off and hides it well (not That Well) but it all comes out once you’re gone#megumi doesn’t cry but he’s an absolute ball of incompetence and insufferable behavior while you’re gone#do not recommend pissing him off during this time 😭😭#yuuji doesn’t really cry like he misses you and he tells you every day and he tells everyone in his vicinity that he misses you#but he more so……. like…….. idk if preening is the word but he’s doing Everything for u right before u leave#he’s brushing your hair and doing ur laundry and eating with you and painting your nails#he’s smushing in all the acts of service and quality time possible bc there’s gonna be a little hole in him while you’re gone and he can’t#take care of you :(( baby boy :(((#the only normal people are nanami and hiromi LMFAO#💌
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Two questions regarding the Wardi religion:
In addition to the bull and the lioness, what are the seven faces of god/sacrificial animals?
Given that white animals seem to be sacred, does that influence how albino humans/other sophents are treated by society?
The seven faces of God are as follows:
-the lunar, horned, or 'wild ox' face of God, which presides over the moons, and the fertility of the land, animals, and people. In pre-imperial times, this was functionally the most central face of God (replaced by the lion face/odomache). The most ideal sacrifice is a wild ox (especially white or albino) that has never been bred. -the ‘ox’ face of God, presides over agriculture and labor, as well as the domestic sphere. The most ideal sacrifice is a healthy plow oxen or khait who has never been yoked or bred (if the sacrifice is towards Ox-Face as the domestic sphere, this should be a heifer). -the lion face of God, presides over sovereignty, statehood, military might, and is most associated with the health and continuing existence of the imperial entity. The most ideal sacrifice is a maned lioness (functionally white, though this is a trait of the captive population). -the ocean or skimmer face of God, presides over the seas, winds, as well as fortune and mercantilism. The ideal sacrifice is the skimmer gull or an albatross, especially one taken from one of the sacred rocks in the 'mouth' of the Viper sea. -the serpent face of God, presides over the cosmos and divine Mysteries, associated with funerary rites and death. Also has a wildly disparate association with royalty (which is derived from entirely separate traditions and has not yet fully been reconciled into the faith). The ideal sacrifice is a two headed or melanistic snake, especially a venomous one (both would be MOST ideal, but this is rare beyond any practicality) -The solar face of God, presides over the sun, stars, and fire, also heavily associated with khait and mounted warriors. (this is a VERY direct import from the chief solar god in the Burri pantheon (who rides and/or is a khait with the sun between its horns), hence the seemingly random khait association). The ideal sacrifice is a healthy riding khait (especially with a white spotted coat), or alternatively a golden eagle. -The river face of God, presides over fresh water, seasonal flooding, and the rains. The ideal sacrifice is the migratory reed duck (which arrives at the onset of the wet season) or a freshwater hesperornis (ideally taken from one of the sacred waters). An-Nechoi are also occasionally given.
Though the core religion is monotheistic, each face of God is functionally a syncretic fusion of older ethnic Wardi beliefs, the Burri pantheon, and other regionally native traditions, which have not all been fully reconciled (the process of fusion is more or less still ongoing). Each face in of itself has dozens or more epithets with distinct features. For example, the river face has a specific epithet for each major riverway, each venerated as a distinct aspect of the Godhead. Functionally, common practice of the Wardi faith is pretty indistinguishable from polytheism, and most of the religious authority does not care as long as required orthopraxy is maintained (the central dogma of the religion does not care How you believe, but that the correct practices are enacted).
Also for reference, these are the specific animals taken on the pilgrimage in the story (transporting seven rare animals cross country can be fraught, so each had at least a few backups):
A pure white aurochs calf, found naturally born in a wild herd.
A massive, unbred and unyoked bull draft khait (dies en route, replaced by a less physically impressive backup with the same qualities)
A lioness with a full mane, from the white captive stock
A skimmer gull taken from a nest on the sacred rock in the waters of Od-Koto.
A baby two headed cobra (which dies en-route and is replaced with its backup, a melanistic viper)
A beautiful speckled riding khait mare whose horns form a near perfect circle (which is stolen en-route and replaced with its sister)
A rare wild hesperornis (haven't come up with an in-universe name yet) taken from the reeds of the Brilla river delta.
Anyway the sacrifices listed above are considered the absolute IDEALS when working with a specific face, but a great variety of animals will be sacrificed to various ends. There’s some very specific cultural/religious components to which animals are most valued, but in practice the value of a sacrifice is pretty close to 1:1 with the animal’s monetary value, at an intersection of utility and rarity.
So a young, healthy bull plow oxen who has never been bred or yoked is a more valued sacrifice than an old, experienced plow ox who has already sired offspring. You are giving up an extremely valuable animal and all its unused potential in a very practical sense, which makes the sacrifice more potent and valued. The 'virginal' status of the animal is key when the rite is SPECIFICALLY related to fertility, in the sense that the animal itself is sacrificing its unused fertility, allowing for the sacrifice-rebirth cycle to perpetuate. (Animals which Have been bred may be preferred in certain cases and rituals).
An animal with a rare coloration is usually going to be more valuable than one with more common genetics. This is the core root of why albino animals are of high value. It's less that white animals themselves are valued, just that rare genetics such as albinism = valuable sacrifice.
There are some specific exceptions where the color itself is significant (rather than just an extension of its rarity). God is specifically supposed to have taken the form of a white aurochs (itself emerged from the foam of the sea) during creation, so white oxen and wild oxen SPECIFICALLY have especially high value. Melanism or black scales are valued to the serpent face of God, which is associated with the cosmos and void behind the stars. (this stems from much, MUCH older beliefs in a cosmic serpent god in the region).
Animal sacrifice is a very significant part of the religious framework and involved in most rituals and prayers intended to affect significant change and transformation. (This is due in part to a deeply ingrained belief in the world being perpetually sustained in a cycle of sacrifice and rebirth, and in God Itself being the physical mechanism of rebirth and requiring sacrifice to be sustained). While blood itself is seen as potent, the nature of sacrifice isn't just 'spill blood and make thing happen', it's got a self contained value system and is very calculated and intentional in nature. You aren’t going to just grab a random rat and bleed it and pray, there needs to be a perceived ‘loss’. Sacrifice via killing is also not the only form, the most common day to day sacrifice is in (very minor) bloodletting and offerings of food and drink- the key is allowing a personal loss to sustain a greater cycle.
That being said, there is a HUGE trade system built up around the breeding and selling of animals solely for sacrifice. The industry revolves mostly around birds (doves are the cheapest, but also poultry, waterfowl, some birds of prey, a few select songbirds and ornamental birds), goats, sheep, and horses (the small, premodern kind). Cattle and camelids are a higher tier, and khait are among the highest of common sacrifices due to their great value.
Other animals that have no direct utility but are sacred are also bred or captured for sacrifice (hesperornis, lacetor, gulls and albatrosses, several kinds of snake, a bunch of wild ungulates, nechoi, etc). Some '''‘exotic’''' animals are imported specifically for this purpose, mostly as a means of displaying the wealth and reach of the state, with their sacrificial value rooted in the difficulty of acquisition. Animals taken from sacred sites are also prime candidates (ie cattle bred and grazed on the foothills of the Sons of Creation are VERY valuable).
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So all that being said the importance of albino animals has come off a little overstated on my part, and doesn't have any particular impact on how albinism in people is regarded. It’s valued mainly for its rarity in the context of animal sacrifice, which would not have direct translations to how it’s perceived in people.
Albinism in people doesn’t have a super well defined significance in broader Imperial Wardi culture, but perspectives mostly skew negative and towards seeing it as a sign of ill fortune (physical differences in people tend to be seen as a result of being cursed in the womb). Imperial Wardin is culturally diverse (united mostly by a identity based in shared religion), so exact nuances would vary and this statement should not be taken as a universal.
Imperial Wardi population is mostly human (with its citizen population being MAYBE 5% elowey, 2% qilik, and a decimal point of caelin). Overall sentiment towards other sophonts by the human majority is not outright hostile, but is human-centric and tinged with xenophobia (as most qilik and elowey in the region are immigrants, with the only elowey ethnic group historically inhabiting the region (the Jazait) being regarded as 'heathens'). Albino elowey or qilik might be similarly seen as products of a curse, or may be given a 'wow how beautiful' treatment (in a heavily patronizing capacity) and seen as a curiosity, or otherwise just subject to varying perspectives on albinism in the region.
The one other thing I have established in this vein is that the semi-mythological hero Janise (sworn brother of other semi-mythological founder hero Erub) is said to have been albino. While he is positively regarded, he is supposed to have died young of a snakebite (assumed to be the product of a curse from his enemies) and this would not improve perceptions of albinism being related to ill fortune.
#For a while I was typing aurochs as aurox. And this WAS intentional but I don't know what the point was because neither word would#be used in-universe (it's just translated as 'wild ox' in text) and it's not indicating a distinction with a real animal (like 'tyger' is).#So yeah it's back to just 'aurochs'.#Also Janeys is named after the historical Janise ('Janeys' is a more contemporary variant and is also a SUPER common name)#(variants include Janis Janes Jannes Janey Jani Jane Janus.....etc)#There's also like 10 trillion people named Erub or Erubi or Erubin or Erubnos or Urib or Urbi or Urbin .. etc#Super committed to realism by having several characters in the same story with the same name. There's like 4 background#characters with Erub names and 2 other Janeys variants. Which is hard on the reader and kind of bad writing but suffer with me. etc.#None of this is related to core post questions I just can't not elaborate on various niche details#OH ONE SEMI RELEVANT THING. Hesperornis is not extinct in this setting but only freshwater species survive in the contemporary#They don't get as big as the marine species we know from Real Life but they're still pretty big and flightless and only live in#large healthy river in this region (therefore are increasingly diminished) and are considered sacred#I got a couple drawings on deck that involve them but I don't think they've come up on here before#the white calf#imperial wardin
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people underestimate annabeth’s humor SOOO much because yall cannot tell me this isn’t the funniest damn thing ever
just imagine this 6’0 built dude who literally looks like a greek god and has defeated literal primordial gods skipping around in a field with a golden staff making rainbows😭😭😭😭
annabeth chase is such an underrated factor in the humor of pjo and i stand by that!!!
#she’s so funny in this book bro#and the chapter before she PUSHES percy off a cliff#girl queen❤️#nobody be putting percy to work like she does#percy is stressed tf out getting trampled by waves while she’s selling tea to a river god#annabeth chase you’ll always be famous!!#percy jackson#pjo#annabeth chase#pjo hoo toa#percy jackson and the olympians#chalice of the gods
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i wrote a heartbreak high fic lmao!! it's called daisy's drop (do you think you feel the same?) and wouldn't you know it it's a cash/darren fic
featuring:
cash and darren communication power hour
lots and lots and lots of unpacking consent issues that come with miscommunication in an allo/sex averse ace relationship (clue: it's communication. there is so much communication happening here)
carpool karaoke
darren discovers emotional vulnerability TM
cash discovers that being in love doesn't have to be miserable if you can love yourself enough to communicate your boundaries TM
darude the duck
i get to use aussie slang in a fic for once
#I GOT THIS DONE BEFORE SEASON 2 THREE CHEERS FOR ME !!#heartbreak high#heartbreak high 2022#darren rivers#ca$h piggott#guys i prommy the wips are still wiping i just wanted to get this done before s2#bc ive been sitting on it for like. a while. lemme check my notes#SINCE MAY 13 2023. ALMOST A FULL ASS YEAR#anyway! for unpacking the complexities of sex averse/validates self thru sex please proceed on to aisle 3#my fics#cash x darren
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Adam, Eve, and Lilith. they’re my ocs now more lore in tags
#the lore:#they’re in an on off throuple#lilith is ofc adams first wive#from before adam (human) was split into two adam (man) and eve (woman)#so lilith is ‘whole’; in modern understanding she’s intersex &transfeminine#lilith and eve had an affair in the garden of eden#in which lilith tempted eve to eat the fruit; while yes persuaded eve wasn’t deceived to do this she made the choice for herself#then she gets sexy w adam and feeds him the apple.#not fully a free choice on his behalf moreso eve choosing what’s best (free will&the enlightenment from the fruit) for them as a unit#adam in a lapse of judgement blames eve. bad choice buddy your wife is always right#so when they’re kicked out they split for a little bit#adam rebounds with lilith and she provides for him and it’s comfortable but he misses eve#they’re together about half a year#meanwhile eve is praying and atoning and has been cultivating plants along a river#adam tries to see eve a couple times during this but she’s mad at him still#after 7months she’s ready to fotgive him provided he helps and hunts animals for them#while they are separated eve is approached by an ‘angel’ who is lilith in disguise. she cares for her and then they go to adam.#adam is like why do you try harming us what have i ever done to you and lilith is upset that he left her and that she was kicked from eden#they get away from her etc#they set up a permanent shelter and as a reward for reuiniting and pushing back ‘satan’ (lilith) he blesses them with a child —Cain#then they later conceive Abel on their own about 2years later#they have other children etc#after abel is killed by cain adam and eve get in a fight and things are tense and there’s another brief affair with lilith#it’s a three way thing to kind of act as catharsis#later later they have seth and that brings them back together#that’s most of it#my art#adam eve and lilith#adam and eve#artistic nudity
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I wanted to make a ducktales undertale au but like what would the name of the au even be... Ducktale????? Undertales????? The only option rlly left is underduck but like 😬.
Also man it is hard to place ducktales charaters in the undertale characters places and have it make sense story wise. 😮💨
#ducktales#dt17#scrooge is asgore no one can change my mind.#itll be a while before you see me post this au because man ive been thinking about it for like a month ane stull don't have a soild answer#like i can either make dewey and Louie sans and papyrus or i can make donald and della sans and papyrus#but donald can also be toriel#BUT BEAKLY WOULD ALSO BE A GREAT TORIEL#and back to the whole louie and dewey as sans and papyrus#i think webby would take undyne place and huey would be alphys but im kinda iffy on that#alternatively huey dewey and louie could be asriel frisk and chara respectively#which would leave webby as monster kid?#but this one if you think about it storh wise mskes no sense cuz hueu dewey and louie are triples so what would be the story there?????#i think if i went with the donald and della as sans and papyrus option#that would leave fethry as alphys and gladstone as undyne but yall i can't see gladstone being undyne it feels weird#i mean i could have dr gearlose as alphys and maybe gizmoduck/fenton as undyne#hmm ill give it some thought#who would be gaster tbh#goldie? brandford? magica?#mtt would be darkwing?#i think making launchpad the river person works kinda?#ill think about this more#yall whoever is reading this hunk of text can yall like give me ideas? thanks#misc tag#undertale au
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matthias's face card is so insane here i almost didn't notice that his hair got chewed up by gshade
#river dipping#matthias evanoff#echthroi#ts4#ts4 screenshots#there are three shaders in my preset that're causing this but when i turn them off the preset just isn't sexy anymore </3 sad#if anyone ever figures out a way to stop alpha hair from going transparent when using gshade i will be on my knees#this is my pose btw that's why matthias looks so pretty#TRUST! that i was in blender wiping sweat from my brow after a hard day's work making sure he was looking at theo like he's an angel#anyway i was just cleaning out my screenshots folder so this was taken a couple of days ago not today#but what i WAS doing today was working on this set of oc/couple templates i got off twitter yesterday which i'll post tomorrow probably#i'll definitely link the og post back when i do bc i think a lot of you might like to do them for your ocs too#i had to take enneagram tests for theo and matthias to fill it along w/ this 'type' test that i'd never even heard of before 😪#matthias wound up as an 8w7 and theo was a 6w5 and then matthias was a type c while theo was type d... whatever that means lmfao#okay. logging out for the night... bc it's nearly one in the morning and i'm reblogging posts on tumblr........ MMMMMMMWAH
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so the thing i am noticing as i continue to watch the river eps is that the problem i have with the melody pond plotline is not necessarily its fantastical improbability/ridiculousness, because doctor who has always been a show about making the fantastically improbable and ridiculous feel charming and wonderful, and also i am soooo biased i love melody pond soooo much That's Amy And Rory's Baby To Me! if anything, the fact that this is a series of absurd coincidences endear me to the notion more. but the thing is, with the information we're given about river pre-reveal, there is absolutely no way that anyone could possibly guess river's true identity.
prefacing that statement -- i did a cursory google search & moffat did seem to intimate in some interviews that he had the river stuff locked and loaded as early as s5! i do think that clocks, because river makes lots of references to killing the doctor, amy and river are absolutely a lot alike from the get-go, and the amelia pond -> river song thing is also a clear hint, but the foreshadowing outside of that is literally nothing, in what seems to be a preventative measure. that is not enough info to figure out that river is melody.
i feel like this is most clearly shown in let's kill hitler -- they handwave mels not being present at the wedding or mentioned in any prior episode, when we absolutely should have met her! honestly, mels should have been a character that we see in the eleventh hour (maybe even someone who either helps out here and there or refuses to), to the point where when amy and rory name melody, we know that it's for mels. we need her to feel like amy and rory's best friend from the moment that we meet amy and rory, rather than being introduced in the River Backstory Episode. mels could turn down traveling with the doctor for some unspecified reason, but she needs to be either someone he knows or someone that we have seen make an effort to make herself invisible. her showing up only when she has Narrative Relevance, when she should have been the clearest hint to who river is, was not a good plan, and it makes me upset, because 1) we miss out on mels, a wonderful and adorable and slightly murderous incarnation of river who i'd have loved to see more of, and 2) mels not being there means figuring out who melody is becomes that much more difficult, which really does support my theory that the focus was on Creating A Shocking Timey-Wimey Moment rather than a long-term investment in river's character :( and that, for me, is a bummer.
at the same time, tho, i'm kinda like -- so much of river's character really is defined by being a Woman Of Mystery! the hints can't come from her, obvs, because i think she would lose so much of what makes her her if she's at any point able to be deciphered by the doctor or the narrative. and i do think it's very on brand for river (who is made of masks) to absolutely shut all of her feelings down when interacting with younger versions of her parents. but we really, really, really needed more time with river. i think that's what i'm getting at. we needed more time with river within the show, very possibly through mels, for this to work effectively.
#celia watches dw#i am so torn !!!!#and pls take this as it is (i love river and i think the writing could have/should have done her more justice)#i just feel like there are so many glorious ways to foreshadow this#and make it something that non-casual viewers can actually coherently figure out#while still maintaining river's mystique!!!#i feel like the plotline also suffered from the heavy-handed suggestions that amy & the doctor had a secret love child#like her telling the doctor that she's pregnant before rory#the baby (brunette) being described as human + time lord & shown to regenerate#describing rory as having Dropped Out Of The Sky when he's been in her life forever!!!! + ''i know you think it should be him''#we did not need that! thanks so much! send it back!!!
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my most devastating book to tv character name moment was jaime lannister from got. i read the books first and for me he was jaime pronounced the spanish way (kinda like HAY-meh). yes all the names were anglo. i didn't care. so imagine when i first heard his name on the show and even in the spanish dub he was jay-mee or whatever you pronounce it in english :(
#also it was my first time i ever encountered the english version of jaime#as my understanding was before that. jaime in english was jamie#jaime was always in spanish. until that moment. it completely rocked my world#it for sure happened with more got characters but none are ringing a bell now#there's others that i only know the nicknames for in spanish#cause i read the books in spanish and i watched the show with my family which meant i had to do it with the spanish dub#i have no fucking clue how meñique is called in english#is it literally 'little finger'? cause if it is that's just ridiculous#also of course the bastard surnames which honestly sound fine in spanish? the english ones are good as well#like jon nieve#ríos was another one i remember (river?)#and that's basically it. it's been a while sjdjsdjs
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a little pilot episode of a mellobot!au. it's actually a scene close to the end of the story, but i wanted to write it to get a feel.
android scientist!near / insurgent!mello
sci-fi/sci-fantasy, drama, rated general. (1.1k word count)
it's twenty years after the kira case, and mello and near are on opposite sides of the artificial intelligence war. today, mello has infiltrated near's base. he finds a special room with his name on the door.
Mello walked past the android repair shop, the server room, the controls headquarters. He kept heading deeper. The rooms became more personal, less organized, less like they were used for this proxy war that really wasn't a proxy war at all and instead spilt the blood of millions, and more like the battered, rattling lungs of a wounded animal, all the air sacs contracting and expanding in turn. The floor outline, based on the trackers he put in each room, became increasingly crooked and cramped as he approached its center.
“Bastard, what a nice fuckin’ place you've got, huh?” Mello snuffed out his cigarette and flicked the butt into a nearby trash can overflowing with office papers and junk parts.
There were a few facilities that implied more people may have worked here, once, but the downturn of the war on the side of the artificial had taken a toll on that too; offices abandoned, the cantine laced in cobwebs. He tagged those, too, sliding trackers under desks and tacking them on support beams.
The first room he happened upon that held his interest had a door of sturdy oak wood and a slightly oxidized plaque with an old-fashioned inscription. It had nothing to do with the aesthetics of the base that surrounded it; it had the distinct charm of the conception of the twenty-first century, when everyone was freshly hopeful that the dawn of a new age would bring prosperity and light. Mello sneered at the thought of the doomsayers. In the end, those fanatics waving signs and self-flagellating on the streets were much closer to seeing the truth. Still, it was an imperfect truth because here Mello stood, cleansed by fire, built by ash.
The world did end, but it was reconstructed brick by brick by people like Mello.
Though his vision had never quite been restored in his left eye, the curly script inscribed in the plaque clarified into perfect legibility as he approached it, and he stopped dead in his tracks five paces away from the enigmatic door.
“Mello?” He traced out the script with a hoarse whisper.
It was left slightly ajar with a gentle light source emanating from within, as though someone had been waiting and watching, as though the slight crack allowed a breath to pass through.
He tossed a tracker inside and heard it bounce twice before settling. No commotion. Carpet flooring, based on the muffledness.
Unlike the rest of the base, he had zero predictions for what could be inside, but the warm glow spilling out like silk welcomed him, so he hoisted his rifle up a bit more across his shoulders, and slipped a thumb into the holster of his handgun. His stomach twisting and turning in knots of apprehension, Mello gingerly pushed the door open with one gloved hand.
The sight of a mundane bedroom greeted him. Still the chills of a peculiar familiarity ran down his spine. The hue of the lights, the woven carpet, the bedposts in that same rich mahogany. It kind of looked— he recalled with a gulp— like his own room, back at Wammy's, a lifetime ago. Geez what tipped you off, maybe the name on the door?
There were a few odd details that kept his mind from exploding completely, principally the life-sized version of what must be his late teenage self tucked in bed facing away from him, rusty blond hair spilling over his white pillow, his face in a neutral repose. Mello swiftly aimed his handgun at the boy’s head, barking out a harsh warning. When there was no reaction he kicked the edge of the mattress. Still nothing.
He flipped the boy over by the shoulder (it was cold with a bit of give, velvety). and did a quick scan: There. The unmistakable electromagnetic signature of an android. A mighty fine one at that, but still a machine, and powered off. Mello crouched down and peered incredulously into the face of his younger self. He could almost see the scarlet blood rushing beneath his shockingly humanlike skin. None of the androids he'd met independently reached this level of lifelike. Besides the glaring difference of his facial scar and the decades packed into Mello's sallow skin, they were spitting images of each other.
It was truly state of the art.
“You sick fuck,” Mello laughed derisively.
He stood back up—almost dizzy— and surveyed the room one more time. The window, or the model of a window, was of particular interest. Just a standard LED panel behind a traditional-looking frame, with no indication that it could be opened, but it seemed a deliberate difference that only two people in the world were ever clued in to.
“You remembered,” Mello marveled to himself. Past the window played a very subtly looping footage of a generated coastline, the muted blue of brackish waters ambling in and out.
He blinked and watched more closely.
Ah, it wasn't generated. Little dots of people, vintage people, dotted the beachy shores. Even in the cliffs there was occasionally someone chancing a dive. Such idyllic coastlines didn't exist anymore, but in this window, they were immortalized. Mello’s lips thinned into a wobbling line as he put a fist beside the window, in this mirage of a room.
There was a second part to their conversation. His and Near’s. He had let the memory be buried for three decades, under the suffocating hatred and longing and all the thorny feelings stirred in him by one particular man; now it came rushing back unbidden, with vengeance.
“If you go, I wouldn't mind following. I wouldn't mind seeing all these things you find beautiful." Near had been lying on Mello's bed, feet dangling off the side because they were dusty. He didn't look at Mello, but stared up at the ceiling of that windowless room.
Mello had laughed back then.
”How are you gonna do that? You don't even want to leave the orphanage.”
”That's only ‘cause you're here, Mello. But I could do it, don't you believe in me? We'll go visit the Mediterranean Sea, then the Baltic, then sail around the world using L’s money.”
”You're gonna need to lug around so much medicine. Plus, it's kind of hard to believe a recluse like you could find anything beautiful beyond the nails of your own ten toes.”
”You can teach me to.”
In the present, Mello peered down into the youthful face of his mirror one last time before storming out of its room, slamming the door behind him.
#meronia#mellonear#death note#near death note#mello death note#nate river#mihael keehl#snippet#android au#sci fi and fantasy#i have two other longform writing projects going right now so it'll be a while before i get to this one#:(#i love android aus but i think no one is doing it Quite like this idea#i'll bring my own flavor!#hugs_writing
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#i'm done i'm so fucking tired#i want to burn the internet to the ground#i want to destroy my computer chuck my phone into a river and go live in the middle of nowhere#no wifi no 4g no nothing#i want to die because we cannot fucking escape this shit#meta using my art to train ai and refusing my request to stop#my computer not being able to run glaze or nightshade or any of those ai poisoning thingies#spam emails and text messages and whatsapp messages and bots in the comments#and just EVERYTHING TRYING TO SELL ME THINGS WHILE ALSO STEALING WHAT'S ALREADY MINE#i hate it i hate it i can't fucking stand it anymore#and you'll be like ''then why don't you go offline then... nobody's making you have an instagram account''#and you'd be right... if it weren't for the fact that i chose the one fucking career that DEMANDS online presence#i already struggle to find work as an illustrator WITH social media and POSTING MY ART ONLINE#how the fuck would I do it if people don't see my art?!#and sure people have illustrated books way before the internet existed... sure... BUT IT DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT ANYMORE#i'm so fucking angry and tired and frustrated that there's no way out of this#the internet is becoming unusable yet life demands it#my only option right now it to fuck myself and my beliefs and let companies steal my hardwork for the benefit of..?#having no notes in my posts except for the bots commenting ''see 👀my hole 🍑 daddy 💦 kitten 😻 ready 4 u 🤤 subscribe🔥 pay 💲 me''#i'm sick of this#i don't want to delete everything i ever posted online because A. at this point that's useless and B. again. how the fuck would i get work?#also even then... emailing my clients their finished illustrations goes through google drive or gmail...#do we think google is nice and doesn't steal images to train generative AI?#''talk to your representatives they need to make laws about this'' my fucking president is currently chumming it up with elon fucking musk#while people here are starving to death#we're literally going to freeze this winter because the genius goverment has fucked up our gas supply and that's used not only for heating#but for ELECTRICITY PRODUCTION#so we won't have a wat to heat our houses cook or even fucking SEE AT NIGHT#and you want me to ask them to make copyright laws?!#i want to die
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just got past the fairygrounds again and. do you think they forgot oliver almost mcfucking drowned because like. if i was an autistic 13 year old that got launched into a river out of a mountain-high cannon with confetti and a shitload of fairies yelling about it right after fighting a massive jellyfish i'd be freaking the hell out. like logically i know they probably couldn't have made that go done how it probably would have but Man
TRUEEEE i think level 5 forgot everything about oliver when they were making wotww. and i think everyone should go play dotdd
#this is hyperbole oliver's character is still done. well.#before i played dotdd i thought he was perfect and a really well done character and i still think the latter#but now that i have played dotdd.#he's just so much better in dotdd that now looking at wotww oliver it's like .................. you're TOO perfect.#like they filed him down. he's too nice.#and i think it really shows in the segments of wotww that aren't in dotdd (like the fairyground)#where they DO forget he'd probably have some kind of reaction to the river!#and while i LIKE the choice for him to leave drippy behind it feels a little weird to me#because if i imagine dotdd oliver doing it it doesn't feel right.#meanwhile during the dotdd arc that the fairyground replaced#oliver physically cannot contain his laughter at esther and swaine arguing after just making up five seconds ago#and it's SUCH A GOOD CHARACTER MOMENT because it does multiple things it first of all shows oliver falling in love with ni no kuni#and their journey#and second of all it shows he has a terrible poker face. which is a known character trait. he's blunt and can't lie to save his life.#anyway. my point is dotdd oliver >>>>>>>>>>>> wotww oliver#ask#sorry for the tags rant but it's typed in here now so i'm not putting it in the main body
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I was tagged by the indomitable-not-abominable @renmackree to pick a random image from my camera roll. Most of it is comprised of animals or landscapes, but this one is an "accidental dick pic" of my sister, that she took of herself while she was trying to capture yet another view of one of our favorite places, the salt marsh. Fun fact: I either come up with a lot of my fic ideas or write them out while I'm in the swamp.
If they would like to participate, then I have tags for @dear-massacre @nerdherderette @oldefashioned @ice-mage and @vmures
#this is a tag game#this is legit one of my favorite places#one side is dominated by the sea#and the middle space is where several rivers and creeks run before feeding into it#and it is positively teeming with wildlife of both salt- and freshwater varieties#these are spawning areas for salmon and sturgeon#then there’s an area that's almost all woods#and there’s a farm here with livestock and a community garden that you can harvest from#then the other side is all swamp#there's this one bridge and viewing area at the end that looks like it's being slowly devoured by sentient foliage#and I'm morbid af so this is of course one of my favorite places to relax while I write
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