#like you have to be quirky mc attractive but not AWARE that you are attractive (like one direction type girl) to be valuable and good

[geminihalos]

Astro Analysis pt.2

Back at it again with a different family member’s chart, but this time it was upon request. I promise that I will start posting about famous ppls charts and why they are like the way they are. If yall want a specific famous person’s chart analysis then please take your time to comment on this post by putting a name in there.

Alright so the family member that i’m putting on the spot today is my own father.I ask for my family’s permission before posting anything relating to such matters.

I’m going to be quoting him a lot lmao bc its too iconic to leave out.

☀️Sun in Leo + Sun in the 10th house: Is in general very Confident and loud. Sometimes has no filter and is a huge lover of art, especially cooking. He expresses himself fully through his career which is also MC in Leo, meaning he is meant to be a leader. There is a sense of enjoyment in being generous and having a reliable reputation. Has a big heart, but won’t hesitate to cut away the unnecessary. Tiny bit of spoiled brat energy, but won’t admit it.

☀️ Ya’ll ever notice that Leo placements also love video games, and are very good at it. Ex: my own father, my cap brother with the leo rising, my aries archnemesis with a leo moon. All of ‘em love playing video games and spend hours grinding on getting the xp and the dubs.

☀️ Scorpio moon + moon in the 12th house: this placement is what makes him the easiest to talk to in my opinion because he understands the emotions and wisely handles them because this placement if highly developed. Scorp moons claim they don’t cry often, and he himself believes that crying is useless and he’d rather think about what to do next instead of moping around. Vague descriptions of how he feels, and enjoys deep convos.

☀️The 12th house is linked to the past life, the secrets, and subconscious, which means that he hides his emotions fairly well, and they’re well controlled with scorpio in there. Is aware of what’s going on inside his emotional nature. Reflective when developed and he has an innate desire to reach enlightenment. makes sense bc 12th house is linked to spirituality. Fuels the generosity and calms the ego.

☀️Mercury in Leo + Mercury in the 9th: once again very loud, but loves jokes and is very comedic. Satire humor because of scorpio influence. Naturally charismatic voice, knows how to command people in a socially acceptable way, and always has a tendency to talk over people to get his point across first. Strong in his beliefs and points especially bc mercury is in the 9th.

☀️ Mercury in the 9th makes him direct his logic to the way of life and helps him find ways to set his morals geared towards finding emotional freedom. See how this connects with scorpio moon in the 12th? Often talks about the philosophy of life and is bent on finding as much knowledge as possible, a natural scholar of life. Fun, loud, and confident. (his life path is 7: the investigator and knowledge seeker path)

☀️ Venus in virgo + venus in the11th: makes for a witty person and it's true that people with this placement prefer modest, savvy, clean, and sophisticated people. That’s why he married my mother (a capricorn in the VIRGO decan). Is conversational and loves to share knowledge (”useful and life-changing knowledge” as he puts it) when he’s bring social. 

☀️Venus in the 11th makes him loved by society, and once again can attract people’s attention. People find him generous, thoughtful, and quirky, which are the classic Virgo traits being expressed through Venus. Although his angsty Scorpio moon makes him preach introversion, he can talk to people just fluidly, and they like him.

☀️ Mars in Cancer + Mars in the 8th: Is passive aggressive and hard to anger for real, but once someone does trigger him, he gets explosive with his words and saying hurtful things in the moment. Once again like my cap brother but more heated. Actually good at tennis; ppl with mars in cancer are good at tennis like Roger Federer, Novak Djokovic, and Refael Nadal. 

☀️Likes to make people rage quit for the fun of it when playing competitively. “we have to make sure he doesn’t know we’re pros” he said, “why” I said, “because I want to destroy him and make him think he has another chance of beating me... just for me to destroy him bahahahah” (applies to video games and tennis)

☀️ The 8th house rules the secrets, the hidden, and also financial deals/transformations. What this means is that he directs his energy towards taking calculated risks when it comes to material wealth instead of managing/keeping it which is 2nd house specialty. Does stock market investing and claims that investing came natural to him (”it was in my blood” lmao). Lowkey Scary because his financial strategies are risky, but it takes strong guts to execute. 

☀️ASC in Scorpio with Uranus in the 1st: Lots of confidence here guys. Uranus rules Aquarius whose sign is opposite to leo. Therefore, he appears like he has a god complex since aquariuses can be louder and more narcissistic than even Leo. But then again, he has leo placements... oof. He comes across as someone quiet, strategic, and intimidating, but he has a distant and aloof look as well.  

☀️MC in Leo: Born to lead and forge his own path. He was given so much leeway and freedom to innovate and find his own way, that he matured very quickly without the help of his parent (aquarius in the 4th). The leader who shines, but with the scorp energy, he prefers to be more secretive and work behind the scenes.

☀️Fixed Dominant: “i’m so adAPtaBle what are you tAlKinG about” *proceeds to argue with my brother about why going this road is faster than the other even though he’s clearly wrong*

☀️He looks up to feminine sun signs a lot bc of his virgo venus and scorp moon: ex- Warren buffet (virgo), Bill gates (scorpio), John D Rockefeller (cancer). 

[thereaderstea]

Let’s Talk About Love Review

“Alice is about to ace this whole dating thing.”

At last, an asexual mc! Not only ace, but a biromantic, asexual black mc! Plus an ace pun!? I’m sold.

Title: Let’s Talk About Love

Author: Claire Kann

Synopsis: Though she’s aware of her orientation, with her recent breakup and seeing the cutest new intern, Takumi (aka Soft BoyTM), Alice worries about her sexual orientation (is she really ace if Takumi just broke her Cutie CodeTM?) and struggles to divulge her orientation to others. Instead of a relaxing summer, now she has to face her growing feelings for Takumi, the hidden feelings about third wheeling her best friends, and the pressure of her family to go to law school.

Genre: YA Fiction/ New Adult

Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars

Note: I can only attest for the ace representation in this novel. I cannot attest for the biromantic or woc representation.

“What made sex so integral that people couldn’t separate the emotional love they felt from one physical act?”

I was slightly disappointed to learn that Alice already learned her sexual orientation in high school, from her health teacher, nonetheless ( :o *le gasp). However, I loved that while she’s aware about her orientation, she worried about if she really was asexual when Takumi broke her Cutie CodeTM. The doubt and confusion and seeming upheaval of identity resonated with me. Most importantly is the first chapter: Alice’s girlfriend breaks up with her on the basis of Alice’s asexuality, and Alice has trouble sharing her asexual orientation. It hit hard, it hit home, and it hooked me.

Claire Kann’s writing is fun and playful. The narrator is bouncy and bubbly, sometimes pushing the quirkiness a little too much, but matches Alice’s character really well. The tone is light even in the serious discussions, but I feel this attributes to Alice’s lightheartedness.

“She made you want to pick her up, put her in your pocket, and then run because abduction was illegal.”

The relationships in this novel though, holy heck. First of all, the siblings. Finally an author who understands sibling dynamics; there’s none of that “hey bro” “hi sis” plain water here: “Was there a greater joy than antagonizing one’s siblings? Probably not.” (and that’s the Tea.) Then there’s the Found Family aspect I totally adore. Alice and her friends, Feenie and Ryan, live together over the summer and have Family Nights. They fight for each other, but they also fight with each other. While disheartening, I enjoyed the bit of realism: friends fight, miscommunication happens, and it sucks. But the outcome is warming ^.^

Highlight Reel

-“But God, did she feel like giving her tear ducts a solid workout.” What a fat mood. -“She always laughed at characters who lost every last drop of their common sense on TV and in movies when someone too attractive for words crossed their path.” You and me, both -“…but when most people think the A stands for Ally…” !!! I punched my knee as though it would drive this point across more -kitchen=dangerous for Alice? You and me, both

 ~*~

and that’s the Tea by tor-mon.

[astroismypassion]

CHART READING: PART 2

PARTNERSHIPS AND FRIENDSHIPS You have Aries Venus in the 6th house. This represents people you attract, things you like and value. You attract intense, passionate people, who are curious about work, job, daily routine and taking care of their own health. You value daily work, routine, taking care of your health (mental and physical), daily habits. You might benefit greatly from owning a pet. You could have a policy to never date a coworker. OR you might crush on your coworker easily, though you are aware that it makes you look unprofessional. You might like to be the boss at your job, daily work. You like to make your own schedule. You might even be self employed. You are liked by your coworkers, but you might also have some troubles with your authority figures (such as your bosses). OR you are really well liked by them. Here are several interpretations. You have Sagittarius Mars in the 3rd house. This is how you approach your partner, how you take action, things you’re passionate about, what you do. You might work in tourism. You could also deal with a lot of communication, writing, publishing, speaking and lecturing. You could be a teacher. You attract flighty, childlike, immature partners. They need a lot of personal space and freedom from you. You might also have a lot of short lived flings, that are not really long term. But you might like it better that way. You are open minded and value communication a lot in your romantic relationships. In your romantic relationships you attract Pisces, Aries, Leo, Virgo, Gemini and Taurus. Your friends are Leo, Virgo, Gemini, Pisces, Aries, Cancer and Libra. You have Venus trine Mars. You might be attracted to younger partners. Or those you energize you and make you more intense and passionate. You have Venus trine Uranus. You might have online friends or lovers. At some point you could have a long distance relationship. You like odd, unique, unusual, quirky people. CAREER, PROFESSIONAL LIFE, PUBLIC IMAGE You have retrograde Pisces Mercury in the 5th house. You are extremely imaginative and creative. You like to think about your own self expression, identity, ego, personality, romance, films, photography. You might like poetry writing, song writing. You like musicians and you might play instruments. You think in images and have a visual memory. You like to think about your hobbies, spirituality, tarot, hopes, dreams, children or young adults. You like to escape in your mind daily. This means through TV series, film, hobbies, interests, art and spending time in the water. Taking baths or spending time in water or taking walks by the river or a bodies of water might greatly benefit you. You might really like cats as well. You need a lot of time to recharge and like to spend time on your own. You march to the beat of your own drum. You have Sagittarius Uranus in the 2nd house. You might have a unique way to make money. You could make money online or from home. You could desire to travel and spend money on books, anything that helps you “escape” from mundane life, such as cigarettes, travelling, reading, learning a new skill, tarot, read about conspiracy theories etc. You have Capricorn Neptune in the 3rd house. You dream of practical success. You might be a talented writer. You have a way with words and you can make everything sound better. You might be a bit reserved in your communication. You might feel like others won’t really understand you or they shamed you or made you feel guilty about how you expressed yourself in the past. But this is an excellent placement for advertisement, marketing, work in publishing, dealing with communication. You could be a representative for a government organization, institution. You might do well in public relations, communication fields. You have Taurus North Node in the 7th house. You have Libra Ascendant. You have a pleasant aura, yet Pluto in the 1st house makes you very much Scorpio Rising, even more so because you have a lot of Scoprio in the 1st house. You are constantly evolving and changing. You have Leo MC. You might achieve some recognition for your achievements or there will be spotlight on you. Even though you might not necessarily appreciate it and like it. You have Mercury square Mars. You could sound defensive and harsh when replying back in conversation. There is a commanding tone to your voice and when you speak. You could sound condescending. You have Mercury square Saturn. You have a long term vision and you are capable of focusing for long periods of time. You have Mercury square Uranus. You might feel uncomfortable in academia and you feel like you are always the odd one out. You have a visionary memory and ideas. You understand abstract concepts. You might have a foot in the mouth syndrome and say something at inappropriate times or say it without really thinking it through. You might have a great deal of mental restlessness if you aren’t truly interested in the topic.

[deyadee]

Romance Anime

There is one particular genre of anime that more often than not I can’t help but loathe with every fibre of my being.

Romance Anime.

When I watch a cute little anime about a boy and girl getting together, I can help but feel my blood boil beyond comparison.

I don’t mind if others enjoy romance anime. There are a handful that I enjoy myself. But there’s so many I can’t begin to describe why I hate them. I hate myself for hating them. Someone just wants to sit down and write a cute little manga about people falling in love- or someone just wants to sit down and watch it and I just can’t accept it.

It’s always the same two stories isn’t it? Either a “quirky” cute, shy girl ends up with an embodiment of perfection himself- or it’s the exact opposite. A normal person ends up with the biggest cunt ever that has no fucking reason to breathe or even still be alive considering I would’ve punted their fucking bitch ass into the sun upon their first annoying fucking sentence from their fucking mouth. What is always labeled as a “tsundere” or a “Himedere”. Nothing gets me in the mood to watch a funny or cute anime than a girl being an absolute fuckwad to the main character on a daily basis, the MC falling in love with them, and the fuckhead never learns any lesson or gets any consequence. “Oh did you fucking punch me into a locker and kick my face in until I bleed? You’re so cute!” It’s always defended with some goddamn bullshit about how “She’s actually super sweet and nice, she just gets embarrassed which makes her violent!” What fucking excuse is that? Since when is abuse cute? Since a fucking cute 15-year-old started it?

But lets drop my anger for Tsunderes in anime for just a moment and let’s focus on the real reason I hate watching romance anime. I can’t stand watching everything in life go absolutely fucking peachy-keen. I hate seeing a good guy and a good girl get together. Or even worse is when an ugly person gets with a pretty person who says shit like “I don’t care what your appearance is Omaro-Kun! I love you for what’s inside!” I always feel this pit of acidic anger in my heart that just echoes into me “This is what you will never have. This will never happen. You will die as fat fucking loner ass bitch if you don’t hang yourself before you die so fat you can’t walk on your couch.”

It just feels pandering. Like an attractive person made this to give genuinely amazing people who just happen to be slightly less attractive the idea that personality actually fucking matters to them. Personality never matters. Or if it does, it comes second to looks. Even if you date online, the second someone sees my fugly ass Face they’re repulsed and would rather light a match on my cheek and shove it in my eye socket. It’s like them saying “Oh yeah, look! A poor little ugly gets to actually have a good life! Isn’t that just amazing? Too bad that’ll never happen to you in real life. Now buy my fucking anime and cry yourself to sleep you pathetic fucking meatbag.”

I am aware that that is never the intention when these anime are made. They’re just made for fun or made by someone basing it off of their life experiences or whatever. But every time I see a new anime like My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU, I just want to grab my knife off the top of my bookshelf and slash my throat repeatedly until I disappear into the nothingness that is the afterlife.

[scummy-writes]

Yay ask box open again! Can I request a scenario or headcanon of RFA +V+Saeran with a MC that knew them before and they had broken her heart. MC remembers them, but the boys+Jaehee, however, have completely forgotten them. Thank you!

Owch���That would break my heart. These aren’t the best, because I had a trouble with a few of them, but I hope you guys enjoy them! Saeran’s might be weird because it’s usually a scenario I personally like and I couldn’t think of anything else, so sorry if it doesn’t meet your fancy (and sorry I’m gross)

Yoosung

- Every time he talked about how he didn’t have a girlfriend It hurt. 

- It was bad enough he even talked about how he had gotten asked out before, and he turned the girls down, but the fact that he couldn’t even put two and two together with you being one of those girls hurt the worse.

- Were you really that forgettable? Were you bland? Void of any remarkable personality?

- You remembered it well. Him handing you your love letter back, a nervous glance to the side as he explained how he couldn’t date you. Something about school, about him being too focused.

- For the longest time, you thought ‘Rika’ was some girl he had a crush on. He’d mention her a lot at school, and you let your heart crack every time you over-heard.

- Because, from how he gushed, she was the best damn thing.

- Imagine how surprised you were to hear it was his cousin of all people, once you enter the RFA chat.

- Granted…It didn’t make up for how your heart ached, but…

- You were dropping hints constantly about it to Yoosung,trying to get him to remember you, and when that failed you thought maybe this could be your chance to win him over

- But that all fell apart when Seven teased about him knowing you already

- And how he couldn’t.  Remember. You.

- Were you this pretty blonde in his class?

- Oh…No? Some girl he saw at the store a lot?

- Wait, maybe that club leader??

- Nope nope nope. Each answer got made you feel so unremarkable. You ended up closing out of the chat for the day, avoiding any messages or calls

- The next day you hesitantly opened the app again, feeling a wave of exhaustion hit you when Yoosung immediately started calling you.

- At first he tried to apologize, but half-way through his apology his excitement came rushing back and he tried placing you again and again.

- “Yoosung-“

- “Wait, were you actually in my grade or-“

- “Yes,” You sighed, worrying your lip a bit before replying. “Yoosung, you rejected me.”

- “…What?”

- You leaned back against the couch, covering your eyes with your forearm as you struggled to relax and explain. Explained what you looked like, what grade, when it was, even the day.

- And he felt horrible. He could vaguely remember it. 

- Fumbling with his words, he tried to come up with a solution. 

- “I was very focused on work and…No one else back then. I’m still not in the best place, but if you wanted to start over…And give me a chance to properly apologize…I would like that.”

- It wasn’t the best, but… It was a start.

Jumin

- Of course you didn’t really work right beside him like Jaehee did, but as someone constantly running into him in the elevator, or seeing him at meetings you were forced to take apart of, or god forbid his random visits into departments and running into yours

- Over the course of a year, you developed a crush on him. You didn’t think it was too bad, since the two of you spoke sparsely and only in terms of work, and realistically the two of you would never, ever, come close to any type of friendship, let alone relationship

- So what was the harm in daydreaming about the handsome Mr. Han?

- But apparently, you weren’t so smooth about hiding it like you used to be. One boring meeting and you found yourself too focused on him, zoning out until he called you out on it.

- In front of everyone at the meeting. You came up with a flimsy excuse, something about a lack of sleep, and he made a remark on how little you must have cared about your job if you were so uninterested in it

- Owch. There were a few snickers as the meeting continued, and once it started wrapping up you were ready to dart out before you heard him call your name.

- As the others left, you felt like a young student ready to receive detention. He eyed you for a moment. “If working in your department is so uninteresting, perhaps it would be better for you to switch to another one, before you get fired.”

- You sputtered, trying to come up with a reason to your behavior, trying to explain that you loved your job- Just something. Before you could speak, he took note of your blushing face and let out a hum.

- “Or are you another woman that has a crush on me? It’s rather tiresome dealing with my employees just working because of their feelings for me, rather than to work. I suggest you come to terms with the fact that it will never work out, and to focus more on your job like the others.”

- You wanted to cry right on the spot. Thankfully, by some saving grace, you didn’t. You managed to fumble out a goodbye and leave the room, but as you got closer and closer to your workspace you realized just how quickly the gossip of what happened would have spread around. This may be a big company, full of constantly busy employees, but...They always had time for gossip.

- So after leaving early, feigning some sickness, you just didn’t come to work the next day. Or the next after that...Or after that. You just left without a word.

- A few months later, joining the RFA nearly gave you a heart attack as you saw both Jumin and his secretary in there. You were so scared. Granted he was just being blunt, but you wanted to avoid anything dealing with C&R.

- But when Seven revealed that you had worked with him not too long ago, he had no memory of you whatsoever.

-...Were you really that insignificant? He didn’t even remember a girl that supposedly had a crush on him just a few months ago?

- Jaehee didn’t even know you. Apparently a lot of employees just upped and left. Thankfully, when being questioned, Zen just popped in saying that everyone hated working for him and basically talked for you.

- Of course you refused going to his home later on. You opted to try cheering him up through the phone, ignoring the comments about how nice your voice was, and so the first time the two of you saw each other at the party...No light of recognition hit him. 

- Dejected, you tried leaving and mingling with guests like you were supposed to, but sooner or later one of the other RFA members pointed you out and he was quick to pull you to the side, trying to wrangle details of your leave out of you.

- After a solid ten minutes of him obviously not letting up any time soon, you finally explained what had happened. Recounting the event hurt, and seeing his surprised face didn’t help at all. You really were forgettable.

- “Perhaps...I should start being nicer to women, like Assistant Kang suggested, starting with you.” He admitted. Taking your hand, he continued. “I’m very busy, so if it’s not a person I don’t directly work with, I often don’t remember every face or name. I never had a reason to before. But, if you’d let me, I’d like to make up for my careless behavior from before.”

- It was going to take some time to get over that embarrassment, but you were slightly glad that your quiet fantasy was becoming a reality.

Zen

- You worked with him for a while. Granted, not on stage, but part of the crew getting the actors ready.

- Being one of the make-up artists, you worked on several of the cast, including the star of almost all of the shows, even if he was still oblivious to it. He was still pretty new, only a year older than you, but was quickly making his way up.

- He always chatted you up while he could. Nerves? Just talkative? You didn’t know, but you welcomed the small laughs he gave you, and allowed yourself to swoon a bit when he complimented your skills with the make-up.

- And after working with him for a few months, getting to know him a bit better, that’s when you popped the idea of maybe going to a local bar and hanging out, maybe switching numbers…

- Just to get awkwardly rejected. He mentioned something about not knowing you well, and how he had no time for any relationship. Not now, when he hardly had time to practice his lines.

- It hurt, but seeing him slowly start to flirt with fans as he became more popular… That hurt worse.

- Flash forward to you joining the RFA a few years later, and that old wound opening up rather harshly when he had no idea who you were.

- At first the flirting was nice, but the more you knew he had completely forgotten you, the more uncomfortable you became with it. Even getting to the point of trying to avoid him in chats

- It just didn’t feel right. Here he was, treating you so kindly when he was so cold to you before. Didn’t he still have his career to worry about? Jaehee wasn’t hesitant on bringing that up.

- Finally, when the two of you met, and he reached for a hug, you pulled back and saw concern flash across his face.

- “Do…Do you really not remember me?”

- Hearing him admit it, and seeing how confused he was, hurt so much more. You rushed your feelings out- How he had forgotten you, your confession, how awkward it was but you couldn’t just leave because they needed you

- And he felt so fucking guilty. He tried explaining himself, but all he could really offer was that he was indeed just focusing on his career at the time. He didn’t have any chances to skimp out on practice, or risk any lost sleep in between rehearsals and his shitty job at the time.

- But now that he was better off, able to live without extra jobs, he had a bit more time…

- You still felt uncomfortable, but you agreed to humor him a bit. Only with the promise of the two of you sitting down to really get to know each other before any dates. 

- Maybe then it wouldn’t hurt as much.

Jaehee

- You worked in a nearby department. Granted, the two of you couldn’t interact much at first, but later on, as you couldn’t get over how cute she was, you slowly tried talking more and more.

- In the employee lounge? Brief moments when the two of you shared an elevator? When she swung by your department for some papers? You were trying to make some sort of small talk every time you saw her.

- And, eventually, after a few months of this happening, you had come to the realization that you didn’t just think she was cute- She was sweet, admirable, beautiful, and you couldn’t stop thinking about her. A small little fluttering in your chest turned into a full blown crush

- And you were helpless to it.

- Finally, one day when the two of you were alone walking down a hallway, you asked her out on a coffee date, actually using the word ‘date’.

- And she nearly dropped her papers.

- After helping her pick them up, she sputtered something about how she didn’t feel that way, or was attracted to women at all. A few panicked glances, and she excused herself and took off

- And you felt horrible.

- So when you entered the RFA chat and saw who it was, (and groaned about Jumin being there as well) you anxiously tried to come up with explanations for the past, even if it was bullshit, but…She had no idea who you were.

- Your name, the fact that you worked at the same company…She was clueless, and in fact was even more suspicious of you for a while. You brushed it off- Maybe she was bad with names? Maybe she just needed to see you? Or hear your voice?

- Nope. Nothing.

- It was hard not getting emotional at the RFA party- That brief moment of recognition was just for the RFA you, not the you that had been rejected a few months back

- So after excusing yourself to the back to calm your nerves, and dealing with the party itself, you approached her during the clean up. She was still a bit rattled from basically quitting her job, so you felt bad, but you needed to know.

- Would she still want to be friends?

- On the balcony you rushed the words out- How the two of you really knew each other, how you had asked her out- Everything.

- She had that panicked look on her face again, and after a few moments of agonizing silence, she finally spoke up

- “I…I never had a woman ask me out before, so I over-reacted. Actually, it had been quite some time since anyone had asked me out…”

- She paused, looking at the view the balcony provided.

- “I’m more aware of my feelings now…And if you don’t mind, I would like to take you up on that coffee date now. Well, once the shop gets finished being refurbished, haha.”

- You probably shouldn’t have basically jumped her for a hug, but you were so happy when she laughed and returned it. 

Seven

- To be fair, the two of you had never really connected. The two of you barely knew each other, but his jokes and silly nature won you over quickly as he became a regular where you worked

- I mean…He had to buy all that Phd Pepper somewhere, right?

- You weren’t the best cashier by a long shot. You worked hard, worked harder than you were paid to do, anyway, and this was a temp job until you found a better one soon

- Usually you had a few nice customers, but he was one of the…quirky…ones. Your coworkers thought he was funny, a little weird, but he was nice to you so you didn’t care much.

- As the job got more and more shitty, with bad management and such, his regular visits every week or so always brightened your mood up

- But one week he didn’t visit…Or the week after that…Or the month after that. He just stopped coming, and with that being one of the few perks about coming into your shitty job it bummed you out a lot.

- Cut forward to you quitting that job a while back, and then joining in the RFA. You were weirded out at first, since you never found out his name, but his jokes calmed you down pretty fast.

- But when he posted a picture? You were so excited! You gushed about how you worked at so and so and used to see him all the time

- The others joined in laughing at how he only bought drinks most of the time, or other junk food, but he was confused. Even with the background check and seeing everything about you online, he didn’t know who you were.

- That hurt the worse.

- Not to mention the emotional roller coaster he took you on the next few weeks.

- Once things had calmed down, you tried prying a bit again. Did he really not remember you? Were you that plain? He was quick to jump up, grab your hands and say you weren’t plain or boring, but…Then how did he forget you?

- He made some excuse about how he tried not to get too attached to people. He probably thought you were cute back when he first saw you, since the second time he undoubtedly thought so, just...He couldn’t risk it, so he never let himself become too attached. It’s what he always did.

- It helped a bit, just a bit, knowing that in the end he still loved you, but it was better than nothing

V

- At first, you didn’t know if your feelings were from admiration for his art, or for how he carried himself. He seemed so humble, so beautiful, and you were just as smitten with him as you were his work

- Quietly, you were a fan, but you tried your best not to gush or panic when his eyes met yours at his private little shows. You were lucky enough just to get in- You never wanted to risk being unable to see them ever again

- It was about his fifth show that you tried flirting with him. Not grossly, nothing over-the-top, just the quiet “I’d love to chat with you more!” type of flirting.

- And it went horribly. He blushed a bit, taken aback by the implications of a date, before quietly explaining he had his eye on someone else, and had promised her a date of his own.

- Joining the RFA, knowing you had to live up to her name, the woman that beat you to him, made your recovering wound ache deeper

- Not to mention he didn’t even know who you were. Just how many people asked him out? If he was actually famous…Odds are many did.

- You bottled it up, powered through it. He wasn’t on much anyway, but hearing about him from Jumin always brought up the old pains.

- What hurt the worse was never getting to explain, to have a chance at that coffee date you proposed. 

- After being in the chat for a while, trying to help everyone… Watching his supposedly dead fiance at his funeral… How were you supposed to handle this?

- You cried, hard. Probably harder than anyone should after seemingly knowing him for just two weeks, but it hurt so much. Just when you had hope of recovering that old wound, just when you thought you could at least support him again, your chances were shoved away as soon as that bullet hit his chest.

- You weren’t going to be able to have him remember you, but hopefully you could at least do his memory some justice.

Saeran

- One. Night. Stands.

- Granted, the main points of those were to be quickly over and done with, leaving and just not giving general care towards the other person

- But instead of a one time thing, it slipped into a few times. Still sparsely, and you weren’t expecting the message and (bad) selfie to prove it him a week later, after your first meet up from the bar you loved.

- Then, about every other week, the two of you met for quickies. Of course the first time he just up and left. The second time too, but the third time he ended up staying a good hour afterwards, both of you exhausted and making light conversation. Somewhat. He wasn’t much of a talker.

- But soon after that, sometimes he would hang around enough to recharge, go again, and chat sparingly before leaving.

- It was probably from the rush of good sex, but you slowly started a crush on him and his rough attitude. It didn’t help that he was actually a little attractive, either.

- So about a couple of month later, when he dropped full contact and his number leading to a dead end, it kind of hurt. A lot.

- You were a bit proud that you didn’t cry more than a couple of times about it, but he was the first crush you had in a very long time, so admittedly you got a bit too attached.

- And so, after all of the RFA mess happened, and you finally got to see who the hacker was, well… Due to circumstances, you didn’t mention it until a few months after.

- And he didn’t remember you at all.

- Not even something gross, like if you were a good fuck or not. He just had no memory of you at all.

- Sure, it was most likely the drugs in his system and the stress he had been going through. That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt you, though.

- At first, you left it at that, made some excuse on how it didn’t matter since the two of you knew each other now, but a few hours later he brought it back up again, asking in a low voice exactly how you two knew each other.

- And, since it was just the two of you in Seven’s bunker, the other twin running out to buy a few groceries, you hesitantly explained.

- And the look on his face made you regret ever bringing it up in the first place. He looked angry? Pained? Pissed off?? He didn’t respond at first, just letting out a few frustrated sighs as he tapped his foot rapidly, grasping at some sort of explanation.

- “When I did stuff like that… I made a point not to remember who I slept with.” He paused, then kept on. “It doesn’t mean you’re forgettable. I made it a point not to get attached and just get what I wanted. If I contacted you again after the first time…It probably just meant I didn’t want to look for anyone else if you were still willing. Or something, fuck.”

- Your chest hurt, and that’s when you realized you had been holding your breath. Obviously, if what you said didn’t have him remember you fully…There were others he treated like that.

- He noticed your tender expression, how you were biting your lip in thought, and he finally faced you, almost even reaching out before pulling his hand back. 

- “I wasn’t in the best place back then. I was fucked up, honestly. But… I’m working on my issues right now. And I’m sorry if I hurt you. I remember you for how you’ve helped me, for how patient you are while helping me and Saeyoung. I’m sorry for not remembering you for sex, but…” He trailed off, his shoulders dropping as he failed to come up with the right words

- “Well… I think I’d rather be remembered for helping you, rather than that. “ You admitted, and he let out a tense sigh. 

- “I know it probably hurt you, but…If we could start over, I would appreciate it.”

- Starting over didn’t seem too bad… Hopefully with time, these tangled emotions would slowly fade, and you could get to know him for who he really was.