#like whether he did drugs or not he didnt deserve that to be aired to the public and he didnt deserve to be fucked over like that

[atanx]

Wouldnt it be so epic to have Tanimura play a role in Judgement 3??

Like he's Kaito's age, he used to be (is?) a police detective, he has a strong sense of justice AND mysterious circumstances (where tf did he go after Y4).

Just Tanimura is so babygirl and I want him back </3

I feel like he might mesh well with the Judge Eyes gang considering his sense of justice and willingness to participate in less than legal activities so ye

Theres also a good thematic to explore about the power and dangerous misuse of power in the context of the police force and whether the system can be fixed

[kaidatheghostdragon]

Red robin: why water balloons? And how did you make them evaporate completely? I have a pic of riddler having his own death trap using against him, and another pic of batman holding penguin upsidedown threatening to dunk him in the icerberg's nearly freezing pool.

Spoiler: where tf did you get a blimp and can i have one? Gif of kiteman faceplanting into a glass building.

Red hood: what the fuck did you do to the joker? Video of him laying in fetal position on the ground while harley beats him to a pulp with a bat, cops onlooking not sure how to interfere.

Black bat: weird machines filtering lazarus water from the air. Being near makes us all feel refreshed, like when you hit us with the lazarus balloons. Why? Pic of condiment king scrubbing stains out of restaurant, being watched over by an irate manager.

Red hood: oh shit, all of you felt it? I thought it was just me.

Robin: Father noticed as well. He expressed concern that you are drugging the populous, Mischief. I do not believe assurance otherwise should require any form of payment.

Nightwing: are you a meta? Youve pulled off stunts i would struggle with, and all our camera footage of you is too corrupted to glean any clues. Pic of a totalled batmobile after "harley" stole it and took it for a joyride. Thank you harley

Spoiler: thank you harley

Red hood: thank you harley

Black bat: thank you harley

Red robin: thank you harley

Mischief: i sense a story here, but continue. Any other questions?

Oracle: speaking of camera footage corruption, how? Video of scarecrow screaming like a little girl right after insisting he was immune to his own fear toxin.

Signal: the filter machines seem to attract strange glowing... things, that the others report they cant see. What are they? Pic of catman moping in a cat cafe because the cats keep hissing at him.

Oracle: thats everyone, we'll probably have more question after you answer these ones.

Mischief: okay

Mischief: robin first, because its most important. I am ABSOLUTELY NOT drugging the populous. If anything, im removing latent drugs from the atmosphere. Ectoplasm is a natural filter, but gotham is so gummed up in curses that its already well beyond saturated. The filters remove the toxins that the ecto is bonded to, then releases the ecto back into the air to collect more. Any side effects are a result of removing suppressive toxins, not adding something new to the air (of which i haven't done).

Mischief: that also seques into black bat's question. Answer: you feel refreshed because you're standing near a clean source of ecto, which is replacing the corrupted ecto inside of your bodies and thus also removing years of built-up toxins. Also, i've never heard the term "lazarus water" before. You'll have to explain what that is for me to know if we're talking about the same thing.

Mischief: red robin, a friend of mine gently reminded me that latex is terrible for the environment, so i had to come up with something else. The something else is... the same stuff thats inside them! Just in solid form. Its also ectoplasm, but with healing properties added to it for extra oomph.

Mischief: spoiler, thats two question and only one pic, but ill let it slide. My parents actually made that blimp, but ive... improved it, over the years. I can build you one, but it wont be free.

Mischief: red hood, i targeted joker especially hard because he's absolutely drowning in shades and curses, most of which im sure is deserved. Ive got an eye on him, he's still going through post-curse shock, and i have no prognosis if itll get better or worse. Frankly, im surprised and somewhat upset that he didnt immediately keel over. Sorry, not sorry.

Red hood: im upset about that now, too.

Spoiler: pretty sure we all are.

Mischief: nightwing, eh, kind of? It's complicated. Depends on your definition of meta, your definition of what kind of info falls under medical propriety, your opinions on the supernatural, and whether or not you believe in the afterlife, in any shape or form. I personally consider myself meta-adjacent.

Mischief: oracle, ectoplasm fucks with digital tech. The cameras around the city will slowly adapt as the ambient atmospheric ecto gets cleaner. In the meantime, if there are any locations you need eyes on without interference, i can fix the cameras there for you immediately.

Mischief: signal, your powers allow you to see extra wavelengths and manipulate light, right? You're probably seeing the shades and spirits drawn to the clean ecto that the filters are releasing. I imagine they start out dim, get brighter the longer they loiter around, then either leave or disappear after reaching a certain brightness threshold? Dont worry, its the natural order of things.

Mischief: Did i miss anything? I would like to add as an addendum that i will accept photos that signal has photoshopped to show how he sees things as an alternate form of payment. Next round of questions?

Crack prompt: Danny has declared war on the curses in Gotham. He is armed with a water balloon gun, but the balloons are full of medical-grade ectoplasm. He targets any location, ghost, or liminal being tainted by curses and/or corrupted ecto - absolutely drenching them before yeeting off again.

This includes the Bats. Danny is smart about it, though. He lived in Gotham for several months before acting, so he could get the lay of the land. He also waits for patrol to be finished before hitting the Bats - he doesn't want to interrupt their Quest to Better Gotham (or be labeled an invader to their haunt).

One night, Danny happens upon Batman patrolling alone and waits for him to finish cleaning up a crime scene before hitting they guy with a half-clip of balloons. Batman gives chase, like he always does, and Danny runs, like he always does. He knows by now that, for whatever reason, Crime Alley is off limits to Batman. The whole alley just gives off "no (other) bats allowed" vibes.

Red hood is just more territorial. Whatever.

At any rate, Danny is enjoying the chase, using just enough ghost powers to stay ahead of batman, almost-but-not-quite taunting him. Crime Alley isn't too far, so instead of turning invisible around a corner like he usually does, he makes his way to the Alley to see if the no-trasspassing rule is enough to stop Batman mid-chase. He leaps across rooftops and weaves through fire escapes, ecto-balloon-gun bouncing by its strap against his back, until finally he's at the border, slightly tapping into flight to make the jump across a slightly wider road into the alley proper.

He turns around immediately, spotting Batman skulking on the rooftop on the other side of the road, stopping the chase and suit half-covered in healing ectoplasm.

"Sanctuary!" Danny yells, pumping his fists in the air from getting caught up in the exciting rush of adrenaline, "I claim sanctuary!"

"Who the fuck is claiming sanctuary in my territory?" Red Hood booms from almost directly behind Danny. He would have yeeted out of his own skin from surprise if he hadn't spent years honing his ghost-fighting instincts. As it was, Danny instead whirled around and emptied the clip of balloons into Hood, purely out of reflex.

Hood stood there, drenched in ecto like his fellow Bat one rooftop over, glaring murder at Danny with glowing eyes. But his haunt betrayed Hood's true emotions.

Surprise, concern, impressed, you-little-brat.

Danny booked it to the fire escape and turned invisible the second he was out of sight.

[low-budget-mulan]

Hi! How often do you run into psychiatric patients during work as an EMT? I'm doing psych right now and we had a 12 yo girl whose mom had her in porn at 6mo-9mo and I just want to scream at 1. these people who are pro-porn and 2. the mom is clearly mentally ill, but still what the effffff. So how do you deal with these patients?

I'm going to start this off by saying that those parents should be reported to CPS. That is absolutely disgusting and I would not let those monsters anywhere near a child. If you have not contacted the proper authorities yet then please do so now because their child (children?) Are being abused and absolutely nobody deserves that. Especially an innocent child. If you have actual evidence of the abuse and the evil things that the parent did then those kids should be taken away and locked up never to see the light of day again. Pieces of shit.

We run into psych patients on the regular. Whether it is a person who is having a psychotic episode, a person who is suicidal, a person who cant take care of him/herself, or a person who just has some sort of addiction where they are self medicating to forget about their problems (either drugs or alcohol. Sometimes both). It is all part of the job. Each patient is different. I've had psych patients who wanted complete silence. I've had psych patients threaten to harm/murder/rape me. Hell, just a couple days ago one tried to attack me in the back of the ambulance on the way to the hospital. I've had psych patients who just wanted someone to talk to. And I've had psych patients that I didnt even realize were potential psych patients until after the call was over. You have to be able to assess the situation and from there you can move forward in patient care. I'll give you a couple examples of times situations were handled well and times they were not and how I decided to act/treat my patient.

1.)

We had a 911 call for a behavioral overdose. Sheriffs were already on scene (good). We get there to find a high school aged girl. She was alert and oriented (AO). Her whole family was around plus the sheriffs, plus the fire engine, plus the fire medics, plus me and my partner. There were too many people. We are trying to talk to our patient and figure out the whole story but she isnt really talking. I turn to the fire medic (they technically are in charge of medical calls, so what they say goes even if it's wrong and stupid) and say let's get her loaded up and he agrees. We walk her to the gurney and load her into the ambulance. Typically we allow one family member/friend to ride along with a patient especially if the patient is a minor. Unless the patient is a psych patient. And heres why. Once the girl was in the back of the ambulance and away from the hoards of people she started answering our questions. She told us everything that happened leading up to this point and why she did it and how she was feeling. I gained her trust by talking to her and separating her from what was causing her anxiety and other feelings that werent good. During the transport I realized she just needed to be distracted. I was monitoring her closely with the medic and got all the medical information I needed. So we just talked about school and plans for college. We talked about her favorite tv shows and how I spelled my name wrong for 13 years. That's all she needed. But not everyone needs that. This is an example of a good call.

2.)

I will start this off by saying I can be sarcastic. Which is not always a good thing. Okay so. This was a transfer call for a man on a legal hold. We were taking him from an emergency room to an actual psych facility where the remainder of his hold would be carried out. This guy was extremely tall like over 6 feet and used to be in the military and still worked out a ton so he was pretty muscular. I just so happened to be driving this day. While my partner was getting his report I went to go get a set of vitals to make sure he was stable and nothing was wrong. Before I can even get them this dude is making all sorts of racist remarks and how he doesnt want to go to whatever psych hospital we are taking him to because "its associated with a certain kind of people if you know what I mean." Then goes on to say hes not going (which tbh if you're on a hold it doesnt matter if you want to go or not. You have to go until you are psychologically cleared). I explained that because he was on a hold he had to go and I wasnt the one who set up the transfer. I literally am just the driver and I go where my dispatch sends me. He then responds with "well what if I fight you" I realize I wasnt going to get my vitals and that this guy was going to be a problem. I walk over to my partner and tell him what's going on and that we need to use restraints (which I rarely use because who wants to be restrained?). At this point we now have sheriffs there to help us get the guy on our gurney and to protect us if this guy freaks out. We get him on our gurney and I put the restraints on. After putting on restraints you have to check for a pulse in the extremity and make sure they can still wiggle their fingers/toes. So I ask him to wiggle his fingers and he flips me off. Me being the sarcastic person I am and without thinking I responded with "oh thanks. I havent had that in a while. Could I get another?" The dude then threatens to rape me and becomes very agitated. I messed up. We de-escalated the situation thank goodness. But I could have handled that situation better. I knew he was already agitated and a dumb comment like that could have easily been the breaking point for him. Dont do something stupid like that.

3.)

We had a transfer for a woman who was on a hold. This was out of one of the worst hospitals I know. Literally the hospital that killed my grandpa. I already hated being there, but how the staff treats patients both medically and professionally (if you can even call it that) was absolute shit. I hated this hospital even before my grandpa was a patient there because of how incompetent and rude the staff was. Sorry I got distracted and ranted, but the backstory is relevant. I go to try and get a report from the nurse who knows absolutely nothing about this patient. Cant give me any history. Doesnt know what meds (if any) were even given. And gets annoyed when I ask for an actual report. Not just the "oh yes that lady is on a hold. She can talk but is being selectively mute. And you're taking her to this place. K bye." At this point I realize I'm going to get nothing from this 'nurse' and I just look through the packet. I go over to the patient who is just sitting there on the bed staring off into thin air. I realized that any loud noise or sudden movement scares her. So I slowly inch my way to her and introduce myself. I tell her I'm there to take her to a different hospital where the staff will be able to take care of her better and where she can get the help she needs. In that whole interaction I got her to say maybe a couple words. And they were basically what's going on. I realized the staff at this shit hospital did not tell her what was happening. Nobody told her she was being transferred. They literally just left her to sit in her own feces because they couldnt be bothered to do their job. Before I even touched her I told her everything that would happen. I walked her through the entire transfer process and let her know what was going on. Then once we were ready to actually start getting her onto our gurney before I made any movement I told her exactly what I was doing. She was completely fine with me. Once we get her to the psych place we finish up our transport and are about to leave she grabs my partners hand says "are they going to be nice and take care of me here?" My heart broke. I told her that yes she would be taken care of and that she wouldnt be ignored here as I know this hospital has great staff. She smiled and let us go.

By assessing the situations and the patients you are able to figure out how to handle your patient. Ive learned from my mistakes and I've learned from my coworkers who have been around longer than me. But always be cautious as a patients mood can change at any time. Even if you dont do anything to trigger it. A patient will go from happy and smiling to trying to punch you in the face. Know your surroundings. Be ready to react because things can change in an instant.

Addition: any sort of illegal activity I will report to the proper authorities. I have reported hospitals, families, and nursing home for neglect and other forms of abuse. If you are sure then ask someone who knows more. I usually ask the supervisor I trust or my coworker who's been doing this for 20 years.

[avidfanficwriter]

Rollins Vs. Amaro. (Chapter 1)

Characters: Amanda Rollins. Nick Amaro. 

Rating: M. 

Summary:

Warnings: Talk of abuse. Drinking. Anger. (more to come)

Authors Note: Takes place during the episode Spousal Privilege. Mainly after/During Nick and Amanda’s encounter at the bar which inspired me. (was posted on Fanfic but i lost rest of the story so, I’m reposting here technically) 

Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Chapter 3. 

Chapter One: Drunken Fights. 

Amanda had got at the bar earlier than Nick did, an hour before they were even suppose to met. Drink after drink, she ordered and drank down. By the time Nick arrived, she had a buzz and wasn’t anywhere close to stopping. He walked over to her, smiling; no longer dressed in his suit but now a pair of jeans and a T-shirt with a brown jacket. If she hadn’t of already been drinking, she would have been frustrated that he was late but instead took another long swig of her drink. 

“I started without you.” She said as he approached her eye sight, sitting on the stool next to her. 

“Went to the gym first.” Was all he said ordering a drink for himself. 

He fibbed. He wasn’t at the gym, in fact the last twenty-some times he’d used that excuse it was nothing more than an excuse. Most of the time, he was drowning himself in alcohol or dialing Maria’s phone number begging for her to talk to him. This time he was mentally yelling at himself for screwing up his relationship with Maria and now loosing his daughter. This case wasn’t helping, seeing Paula and A.J. having issues not exactly the same as he was in but they also couldn’t fix them, the only way he found how was the hit Paula. Nick could never allow himself to do that, no matter the problems he and Maria had. He would never lay his hands on her, not even in a joking manner. He wasn’t that man. His marriage was hanging off an edge of a cliff, Maria didn’t want to talk anymore, she didn’t want to see him; she wanted to leave. He didn’t blame her, he allowed it to happen. When he was finally able to talk, she was leaving. 

“You okay?” Amanda asked. “That was rough.” 

“Well, Calhouns just doing his job.” 

“Yeah, but she had no right to go after you like that.” Amanda said taking another sip of her drink then scoffing. “She’s got a point though.” 

“Yeah?” He chuckled, trying to hide his confusion. “Yeah, what point is that?” 

“That it’s a private---private manner...” Amanda was trying to composure herself, to pass off that she was sober but she looked anything but. The blonde resembled a kid who had just found alcohol, over indulging their selves in it. “between Paula Martin and her husband. I just think we’re over reaching.” 

Nick sits up straight, “Amanda, he hit her. End of story.” He couldn’t believe he was having to stress that point to Amanda of all people. He knew he shouldn’t have to, any sane person on this earth would feel the same but her, being an Special victims detective made it worse. She had a job to fight for the victims not the bully. 

“So, we get to decide what’s best for her? That’s infantilizing. That’s” She scoffs again. “that’s making her the victim all over again.” Amanda couldn’t help but chuckle. 

Nick looked at her, in disbelief. “Take it easy.”

Amanda did the opposite. “You counting my drinks now?” She accused in a annoyed tone. Nick clenched his jaw at Amanda, watching her stare at him in her drunken glaze. “Saint Nick? Right? Savior of damaged women.” She said leaning closer to him. 

“Stop.” Nick said in a loud tone. “Look, all I’m saying is: no man has the right to hit a woman.” 

“That’s right. That’s right.” Amanda agreed. “But some of us, don’t need to be saved. Okay? Like you married a woman who didn’t. Right? Maria?” She chuckles, proud of herself. “I saw the way she went after you in the squad--” 

“I never laid a hand on Maria.” He interrupts her, angered. 

She continues egging him on. “Yeah, but you never wanted too?” Not at all?” She asks leaning closer, she not even in her chair anymore, now standing on her own two feet trying to get right into his face. “She got to you.” A wicked smile appears on her face. “She still gets to you.” She pushes him, her hand colliding with his shoulder and shoving him away. 

“Right.” Nick agrees, trying to turn his attention back to this drink. 

“Huh, that doesn’t get to you?” 

“No.” 

She pushes him once again, harder this time. “Come on. That wouldn’t get to you?”

“No.” ‘

‘Really? How about that?” She speaks quicker now, pushing him harder and harder. Trying desperately to prove her point. “Come on, Nick, I know it does.” 

“Are you jealous of Maria?” Is that whats happening now?” He asks in both annoyance and anger, hoping that just maybe this would stop her pathetic attempt to anger him further. 

It’s her turn to look at him in disbelief. “Really? That’s where you’re going with this?” She asks. 

Nick’s plan failed, miserably. ‘Then what are we talking about here?” He asks. 

“You! Nick!” She says pushing him again. Harder, now grabbing the front of his shirt, tightening her grip around the cotton material. “No, no, no, Just drop the rock. No, we’ve just all seen you loose it. The whole squad room heard you yelling at your wife on the phone.” She continues pushing him, pulling him so he has no choice but to look at her in the eyes. “Listen, Paula Martin has the right to choose whether she presses charges or not. Okay? Because some of us don’t want to be victims.” She hit him this time, forcefully colliding her hand with his chest. 

“Hey!” He shouts. Rising to his feet so quickly, he kicks his chair back. He walks right in front of her, towering of her. His breathe quickens and he steps back, being a better man than she was expecting to get. He hits his drink, causing it to shatter on the floor. He wanted to yell at her but the last thing he was going to do was give her exactly what she wanted. He was done. 

“Alright, I’m gonna do what A.J. Martin should have done” He pulls his wallet out, slamming money on the counter, “walk away.” He gives her one last look, grabbing her drink before walking away. All eyes are on Amanda know, the drunken blonde causing a scene in the bar. 

Amanda resumed her seat at the bar, chuckling with amusement. “They’re all alike! They think they can tell us what to do. Order us around and all because of that thing they have in their pants.” She chuckles again. 

It wasn’t long before the bartender cut her off, telling her to get home. She argued as expected, going on about how she was a police officer and deserved respect. Unfortunately for Amanda, she was escorted out of the bar and told to come back when she could behave herself. The left her tab open as a courtesy to police officers but took her badge number in case she decided to skip paying it off.

She argued and kicked the whole way out, creating even more of a scene before tossing her jacket over her shoulder and stumbling down the road. She’d taken her hair out of the ponytail, letting her blonde hair flow in the slight breeze.

Amanda was drunk, far to drunk to think right and even worse could barely navigate where she was. Which helped stem her next bad decision. She pulled her cell phone out, after getting into a fight with her pocket. Dialed Nick’s number and held it to her ear.

He didn’t answer. It went straight it voicemail and he rant began. “Hey…. Nick, Nicky, nick.” She said in a slurred voice. “You… You are a good one, you know. Maria.. Maria, she doesn’t deserve you, I know that. Yo–you know that. Maybe you shouldn’t hit her but you should tell her you deserve better, you know? Tha–that you are better.” the sound of a car honking take her voice away from the phone as she shouts at it. “I’m on the phone asshole!” she tosses an arm up in the air angered. “But yeah… ” she says turning her attention back to the phone. “Just say it. Like you mean it. It’ll be fun, Nicky.” she takes the phone from her ear, glancing at the screen, ending the call before she spots another bar.

It was one thing she loved about New York, there was always a bar no matter where you were.

Nick’s eyes slowly fluttered open to the sound of a television in low, his head was pounding and his eyes were dry. Slowly, he sat up, letting the blanket fall from his chest when he noticed Maison was sitting in front of him. She was seated directly in front of his legs, a coffee mug in her hand and her eyes starring at the television paying no attention to him.

He groaned as fully sat up, “He’s alive.” Maison shouted with glee as she finally turned to face him.

Maison had a peculiar sense of humor and most of the time, it came out at the worst moments. They’d meet when she was just a rookie, had two weeks experience on the job when she stumbled upon a crime scene that had multiple illegal drugs and weapons. She was tiny but tall a good 5'7" with chocolate hair and a pair of light brown eyes. She was native to Staten Island but moved to The Bronx when she was eighteen. She joked at the scene in perfect ear shot of nick, “Maybe I should bag me up a few of these drugs for the headache, my paperwork is gonna give me.” Nick jokingly responding: “The dealer would give you hell.” It was a start of a beautiful friendship, with time she’d became a family member. “Aunt Maison.” Who came bearing gifts to make Maria and Nick miserable. As well as an outlet for Nick, when he and his wife fought, Maison would sit along side him listening as he went on and on about their problems. Usually within a few hours, he’d make his way back home to apologizes, coming to the conclusion he was in the wrong and things would be better until next time.

The most recent time, he came out drinking, a pained look on his face as he told the story of his wife cheating on him. Maison denied it, knowing with absolute positivity that she wouldn’t do that Nick or Zara. Only it didnt end there, Nick went full recon, spying on her and ultimately ruining his relationship for good. Rather than taking him home after their night of drinking, she was taking him to a hotel room and making him hand over his gun and go to bed. He was a mess. Which is how he wound up living with her, in her tiny two bedroom apartment. It’d been six months since he officially moved out of his home and into hers, boxes still sat in her living room and the spare bedroom.

Nick put his hand to his head. “How long have you been awake?”

Maison raised her hand, glancing at her watch. “Two, three hours.” She says then pointing her hand at the end table behind Nick. “There’s water and a aspirin on the table for you.”

Nick rubbed his face, breathing deeply and slowly started pulling his tie off. He was a miserable mess and overwhelmed by the fact that he didnt accident my choke to death in his sleep.

“Big night?” She asks, watching him drink the water.

“No.” He nods.

“Maria?” She asks focusing her attention back to the TV.

“Amanda.”

Slowly, she shifts her gaze back to him, confused. “The blonde chick?”

“Yeah.”

Maison chuckles, “Doing real great with the women in your life.” She smiles, taking a sip of her coffee. “What’d you fight about?”

“I think she wanted me… to hit her.” Nick says confused. He wasn’t sure if that was what Amanda was trying to do or if she was simply just angry. It could have been both for all he knew.

“Wait? She wanted you to hit her?” Maison chokes out, blinkly quickly.

“I-I dont know.” He says shaking his head.

“So?”

“What? Did I? Is that what you’re asking?” Nick raises his voice at her, puffing out his chest. “No, I didn’t.”

“That’s not what I was asking and you know that.” Maison objects annoyed. She puts her mug onto the coffee table. “So you what decided to drink besidehe while she tried to frame you for abuse?”

Nick cocks his head at her, “No, I left Amanda and went to another bar.”

Maison nods. The pair sat in silence, Maison returning her attention to the news and Nick laying back down and starring at the ceiling. Maison had only meet Amanda and the gang once or twice around the time Nick has first transferred to SVU. Right off the bat, Maison could tell Amanda was trouble and because Nick was the sweet, far to caring guy that he was he didn't see it.

It was Nick’s first month at the new precinct, he sat at his desk across from Olivia’s, starring at the pile of paperwork. Fin was slowly making his way to Nick’s desk.

“Hey, newbie. What do you say you join us for some drinks?” Nick meet Fin’s eyes and suddenly realized everyone else’s eyes where also on them as well.

“I.. Uh… I appreciate the offer but I’ve got plans with a friend.”

“Bring ‘em.”

“I dont know, she’s homicide. My old squad didnt want anyone who wasn’t narcotics around.” He says, shrugging his shoulder.s

Fin who was now sitting on Nick’s desk, chuckles looking over at his partner, John. “As long as she ain’t the rat squad, she’s alright in my book.” He then glances at his desk, starring at the paperwork he had yet to touch. “But compared to my paperowkr I got, I’ll take your homicide friend and the rat squad any day.”

Nick and Maison arrived at the bar, quickly ordering their drinks and heading over the group of svu detectives. Olivia was the first to introduce herself to the young detective, shortly after Fin and John followed.

“I thought Amanda was coming.” Nick said looking around.

“Running late.” Fin said smiling The detectives all squashed together at a table, sharing the horror stories of past cases mostly at the fault of Fin and Maison. The two trying to top one another. Half an hour later, Amanda walked through the door, smiling as she approached the table. It wasn’t a pretty scene, her hair was a mess, eyes glazed and kept blinking it was uncomfortable yet no one said a thing, Nick however could tell that Maison was starting too and casually stepped on her foot to prevent her from. She gritted her teeth, elbowing Nick in his side while the conversations continued.

As the hours ticked by the detectives made their way home, leaving Nick, Maison and Amanda sitting at a table together trying to make small talk. Maison would have opted to leave shortly after Fin did but Nick was her ride and if she’d taken a taxi, he would have been tailing her, so Maison sat leaning on the wall as she played with her drink watching Amanda pull her lower lip into her mouth. She was flirting… With Nick. Openly flirting. A small smile, a chuckle, a casual hand rested on his bicep and some corny comment asking if he’d been working out. It was pathetic. Nick knew what was going on, he wasn’t furthering it but he also wasn’t putting a stop to it.

“Hey, Nick. Don’t you think it’s time to head home? Zara’s probably not asleep yet, huh?” Maison asks, not actually wanting to go home but wanting to escape the drunken escapade of Amanda Rollins.

“God, what are you his mother?” Amanda retorted, chuckling.

Maison smiled, leaning her arms on the table. “No, just a detective that knows how to handle their liquor.”

“Sure, it’s not Nick you want to be able to handle?” Amanda remarked with a smirk.

Maison cocked her head with an annoyed expression on her face. “Excuse me?” She asked in a tone Nick knew far to well.

“Maison, you’re right. We should start heading home.” He said putting his arm on her shoulder trying to keep her in her seat. “Amanda, this was fun but I’ve got to get home to Zara.”

“Nick, come on. Dont listen to her.” She whined, trying to grab his arm.

“Maison, let’s go.” He said, forcefully pulling Maison out of the chair, making her follow him.

Inside of the car, Nick looked at Maison disapprovingly, mimicking an expression he’d give his own daughter. “How the hell is she a detective?” Maison asked avoiding his gaze.

“She’s a good cop, Maise.” Nick argued.

“Yeah, good at making cops look bad.” Nick didn’t respond.

The memory wasn’t a pleasant one for either of them, Maison nearly ripped Amanda’s head off and Amanda was trying to sleep with him. “I told you something was off about that girl.” She said finally breaking the silence and glancing over at him.

“She’s not off, she needs help.”

Maison stood up, grabbing her coffee. “Amado, you need help now. Drink your water and don’t sleep with her. You’ve got enough problems.” She said leaving the living room.

She disappeared down the hall and shortly after the sound of the shower starting proved she wasn’t planning on coming back at least for a while. He laid back down, checking his cell phone and saw he had five missed call from Olivia. Instead of calling her back, he shut off his phone. He wasn’t going to work today, not with a hangover and not after what happened with Amanda. Instead he was going to lay down… until Maison kicked him off the couch and do nothing all day.

[s3venpounds]

1 - 102

ASK MEE RIDICULOUSLY PERSONAL THINGSSSSSSSSSSSS YEEEEEEEEEEEE i love this shit

thanks for the ask anon, at this point im sure yall already know everything about me but hey whats a couple more questions c:

1.) what’s a song you depict with your childhood?

YIKES tough right off the bat huh? it would have to be the opening to digimon frontier ayyyyyyyyyy i still listen to that shit every fucking month. its that or disney’s hercules i can go the distance that shit was just MMMMMMM good shit2.) did you have a memorable childhood pet?

yep a blue and white love bird my family called quick silver we taught it to do adorable little tricks like pick up our pencils when we do homework and it rolls away3.) have you ever been drunk?

hehe yeah fun times4.) have you ever tried drugs?

yup! curious about trying more hard drugs but also i dont wanna get addicted or like idk die/get arrested5.) have you ever completely regretted what you’ve said?

ALL THE FUCKING TIME. infact at work i told a customer we didnt have a thing and the customer was like whats that right behind u, and it was the thing they were looking for i felt so stupid lmao6.) have you ever made someone cry?

yeah.7.) has someone ever made you cry?

yeah.8.) have you ever been in love? if so, describe the moment you knew it.

honestly idk if i ever have been in love. I would think that i have but yknow you never know what the future holds so looking back something in the past could pale in comparison to something in the future9.) which came first the chicken or the egg?

the chicken, evolved from some other bird10.) are you part of the lgbtq+ community? do you support them?

dunno if im part of the community by status but i wholeheartedly approve and support them. speaking just for myself though I just think I’m me and nothing else. whether im non binary or male or female or something else doesn’t matter to me. im attracted to who im attracted to, feel what i feel, and do what i want with a hint of salt. If plants can have like 10 000 genders or whatever, then anyone can be whatever they want unless its something fucked up like age fluid lmao if youre 60 youre 60 even if you have the “mind of a 14 year old”11.) how many siblings do you have?

412.) have you ever been in love with someone you couldn’t love?

yeah in fact just recently13.) are you a good cook?

fuck no. i fucking wish tho, not even a good cook i just wanna be able to copy recipes on tasty’s facebook page hahaha14.) what is your favorite tv show?

right now i dont have one and i definitely dont watch tv shows often unless you count anime then haikyuu!! or My hero Academia15.) what is the last movie you cried during?

i think it was a tyler perry movie something about a funeral and a family reunion honestly i cry when any movie has a really strong family sorta bonding specially if the family was broken at first and they all healed together and became closer as a result16.) what are songs you’ve cried to when you first heard them? (if any)

none, i did cry whe i was listening to wild wild love by GRL and pitbull for some reason? 17.) do you have a middle name?

nope i do have a nickname given to me by distant relatives18.) have you been out of your country?

yeah thankfully ive been out of canada multiple times19.) are you a chocolate fan or not?

love chocolate in fact im drinking hot chocolate right now, little cold going on so i need it20.) how many people have you kissed?

lips? less than 15, in general no matter where? couldnt count21.) what is your favorite album?

the only album i loved in its entirety has been marianas trench master piece theatre22.) what is your dream car?

2003 dodge viper23.) what is your lucky/favorite number?

i always wanted to be ironic and say 13 but i’ve kinda been leaning towards 10 like hinata’s jersey number24.) what is your favorite flower?

lilacs cuz the color25.) books or movies, why?

movies, less thinking for me26.) have you ever been on a blind date?

nope but i’d love to try it27.) has one of your friends ever backstabbed you?

yep28.) have you ever backstabbed one of your friends?

i dont think i have? not consciously.29.) what thing do you symbolize love with?

an act of self sacrifice or something handmade or personally tailored to the individual receiving30.) do you have neat handwriting?

i adore neat handwriting! its like a breath of fresh air, simple and precise to read, and it feels like you can read faster when it is31.) do you have a friend with benefits?

nope but i’d love to have one!32.) do you want a friend with benefits?

just said but yeah i’d love one!33.) if you could be anything in the world, what would you be?

A hero.34.) have you ever been blackout drunk?

nope but my body refuses to drink any more alcohol once i get to my good buzz point. like all alcohol makes me wanna throw up the second i get past the point its almost like my mind and body are two seperate beings lmao35.) have you ever met someone famous?

i think i have? one time when i went bowling with some relatives, there was a crowd gathering around this blonde dude who was playing house of the dead and this one guy in the crowd approached me saying “ do you know who he is? hes famous?” and then i blanked out after that because i just wanted to watch someone play and mentally check out for an hour36.) how many concerts have you been to?

3 concerts! all which were very fun !37.) which concerts have you been to?

one was an ed sheeran concert for his divide album, another was a marianas trench concert in klondike days edmonton, and the last was a country concert im not sure who it was my sister wanted me to go with her38.) do you have a hidden talent?

i can match any generation 1 pokemon just from their cries some generation 2 but beyond that only a handful from each other generation39.) what do you do when you’re stressed?

masturbate. honestly its the only sure fire thing i’ve done that clears my head for the longest time and relaxes me lmao40.) do you think money can buy love?

of course! just depends how you use it! like if youre just throwing money at random people like “hey love me” itll be fake, but if you say, pay off a struggling student’s loans in full and give em a good fresh start im sure theyll be grateful to you for years to come. or if you pay for someone to get super super expensive surgery so they can die from old age rather than a disease or something then yeah they’d love you forever41.) how old would you date?

honestly not sure, i havent really tried dating anyone a lot older than me i usually date within 4-5 years older or younger? though i dont think i’d see a problem dating someone 10 years older than me42.) have you ever done something illegal?

hehe. ye.43.) what is your biggest fear?

death. too long to elaborate44.) what is an unusual fear you have?

fear of what happens after death45.) can you drive?

nope but i plan to learn how to and take my exam within the next 2 ish months46.) do you believe in supernatural creatures?

of course! as many evolutions that were made common place theres bound to be evolutions that somehow spurred legends and mysteries47.) do you believe in karma?

of course! 100% of the time i expect some stranger to just walk up to me and start slapping me or punching me or throwing water or soda in my face for something i did, though i also prepare myself to say” okay i probably deserved that but can i ask why?”48.) what is one quality you need in your partner?

need to love physical affection, if not i dont think i can last with them, physical affection is so important to me its just as important as saying i love you, it like reassures me that theyre there with me in that moment and that theyre happy and just. physical stuff tells me a lot ok49.) do looks matter?

on first impression? oh hell yeah. keep in mind strictly first impression. im not gonna cut off a potential friendship or relationship because someones not my type or whatever i cut people off if they do something fucked up and horrible50.) does size matter?

to some people im not one of them51.) who is the last person you forgave?

I can’t really remember, i forgive people for small stuff all the time but with big personal mistakes i usually hold grudges52.) what is your favorite ice cream flavor?

French Vanilla53.) what languages can you speak besides english?

none but i plan to learn sign language eventually that and visaya54.) ever been on a plane?

yep! i’ve been out of the country so that definitely means by plane i dont know anyone who goes on roadtrips long enough to get out of the country55.) ever been on a boat?

yeah! i thought i’d be seasick but turns out i enjoy being on the water its kinda calming56.) is there anyone you’ve lost touch with that you wish you hadn’t?

yeah my childhood friend ralph, cool dude but our friend groups and interests just kinda diverged57.) are there any friendships you regret?

yeah..58.) are there any friendships you wish you could make?

oh hell yeah! there was this one girl who always ate at the same cafeteria as me and my friend group and i regret not inviting her over and being her friend59.) have you ever stayed awake for 24 (+) hours?

yeah! specially during summer it really sucks and i only do that when my mental state is at a record low self punishment i spose60.) have you ever walked outside after 12 am?

hell to the yeah! its the best! like a music video or adventure but it really just helps me clear my mind. oh wait i guess that kinda counts for the calms me down thing so late night walks and masturbating bahahaha61.) have you ever seen a sunrise completely through?

yep! one time with an ex girlfriend! we stayed from 2 am till 10 am i think singing songs and talking and cuddling on those big swings with a bowl at the bottom62.) are you scared of rollercoasters?

NO !!! I LOVE ROLLERCOASTERS!!!! im kind of an adrenaline junkie!63.) on a scale of 1-10 how stressed are you usually?

i personally feel like a 3 but thats probably because im already used to a 7 because of old issues i need sorted out that i’ve just kinda grown to live with the stress64.) do you have any plans this weekend?

considering its sunday? no, next weekend? im working65.) do you miss anyone right now?

yeah. i miss em a lot.66.) who do you wish you were talking to right now?

K,Z, and C i miss em67.) if you could have any superpower, what would it be?

the power to fly or have wings that can make me fly. I associate flying with true freedom. 68.) who is your favorite superhero?

All Might69.) are you dirty minded?

ridiculously70.) what is your favorite song from every decade starting at that 80’s?

im too lazy for that shit bro…71.) how many kids, if any, do you want?

2 preferably? 72.) who is your biggest OTP?

im not super into shipping just cause it can get pretty toxic but asami and korra73.) what is your favorite food?

aw man im too much of a carnivore to pick just one thing man. uhh fried chicken or this one pork dish my mom makes thats super easy to make its like canned beans with this orange sweet kinda sauce and pork belly slices and potato chunks omggggg i eat so much of that. the last time my mom made that i actually ate the whole thing and i had to make more for everyone else lmao74.) do you want to be married one day?

yeah. it’d be nice not to have to worry about being alone for the rest of my life75.) dogs or cats?

dogs are great and so are cats though i have more patience for cats than i do for dogs. dogs to me are like energetic little kids and thats fine as long as im not dealing with them for an extended period amount of time i get drained pretty easy. cats are like roommates show you love and attention when they want but arent opposed to keeping you company the whole day76.) do you drink enough water daily?

i have no fukcing clue i literally just drink water whenever i have an excuse to drink.77.) have you ever seen a shooting star?

not that i know of? like theres a few times i think i did but i wanna see one thats like unmistakably a shooting star or comet thatd be neat too78.) if you had the opportunity to go to the moon, would you?

not long term? yeah id love to, just to feel what zero g feels like and the view of earth

79.) how many best friends do you have?

3 ish……..80.) when was the last time you cried?

a few nights ago when they stopped talking to me i cried like a little baby lmao ahhhhhhhhhh yikes81.) have you ever laughed so hard you peed yourself?

nope82.) have you ever made anyone laugh so hard they peed?

i think? there was this one dude who literally thought everything i said was genuinely funny though to this day i have no idea if he was serious or not. i also have not seen that dude ever since83.) if you could travel any where in the world, where would you go?

Venice Italy.84.) what are 3 words you would use to describe yourself?

Lonely, Filth, dependant85.) do you consider yourself a loyal person?

no, if my loyalty gets in the way of what i think is the right thing to do then i disregard the loyalty86.) what is your favorite season and why?

Winter. for some reason growing up i always felt like winter was unappreciated and i had this train of thought like “ even the cold needs to be loved” that and most of my wardrobe is just winter stuff. plus midnight walks feel so much nicer since its so cold out you know for a fact no one else would be walking around because whos gonna wait in a dark alley at -30 to mug, rape or kidnap someone.87.) have you ever told anyone you loved them, and didn’t mean it?

nope. if i ever said it i meant it.88.) do you know how to play any instruments?

not reliably. like i know some songs on guitar from youtube tutorials but i can’t play the guitar in all circumstances yknow like i learned the song without mastering the basics89.) do like like falling asleep to music or not?

nope. i need like silence to sleep but ambient noise is preferred. music gives my brain something to focus on and thus stay awake90.) what are you allergic to?

pet fur or feathers and stuff. my eyes get puffy, my nose clogs up and my skin itches91.) have you ever wanted to be someone else for a day just so you could see what there life is like?

a sad, extremely rich person and a happy, extremely poor person. to show me what to be grateful for92.) if you could be any character from your favorite tv show would you, and if so, who would you be?

huh, thats tough… if its haikyuu i’d love to be daichi, if its my hero academia its hawks or deku93.) if you could be best friends with any celebrity who would it be and why

Gal Gadot, I feel like she’d be such a positive influence on my life and that thing she does to people who are shorter than her where she cups their face in her hands omg i’d melt everytime. i just kinda wanna be like a little brother to her lol

94.) are you outgoing?

i would say i am?95.) have you ever wanted to kiss someone, but weren’t brave enough to?

oh fuck yeah im fucking gutless96.) are you a good flirt?

nope. awkward and weird af97.) have you ever been turned down, or have you ever turned anyone down?

yup all the time. part of life98.) which planet is your favorite?

never really thought about planets much but i do stan pluto as a planet99.) are you superstitious?

to an extent100.) are you a good listener?

i’d like to think i am101.) are you a good kisser

also like to think i am probs not102.) would you kiss any of your friends?

all of them honestly well not all of them. mostly cuz yknow theyre taken or theyd probably hate me if i did some of them are super defensive about physical intimacy

[the-art-of-suffering]

knsfvknsfvknv

Hey u know these guys now. so smut from Ravel’s POV if U WANNA READ IT

Life had never been so simple.

When you realize that, essentially, the choices you make do not matter it becomes so much easier to live your life as freely as you choose.  When Facade drew me in and welcomed me into the folds of his plan he introduced me to myself. I realized that it was a waste to try and change what I am, because in the end it would not change who I am. It would not get rid of the urges to be depraved, or the dark day dreams. Those are not a matter of my breeding, but a part of me that I will never be completely free from.

I think that is why Vyse was such a beautiful distraction.

He was a snake. An absolute writhing mass of dark intent. He was my master after all. Oh, and how he adored my kind. The way we were so loyal, so distinctly his, and knew so well how to please him.  I’m sure that many of my brothers and sisters would have done anything to be in my place, and after all there were so many of them so much more deserving.  I had spent my entire life running from his influence, but in the end, upon meeting him, it became such a fool’s errand.

Vyse was so talented at coercion.  He could make you want to do anything. I imagine it’s only fitting, what sort of Wyrm would he be if he couldn’t tug at every string inside you?

He made me want to lick my own blood off of his boots, which I assure you happened more than once.  He would slide up behind me, so quiet as he wrapped his hands around my neck.  I never thought I would find anyone who could sate so many darknesses in me at once. My world would become filled with pains and pleasures I never thought I could taste, never...thought anyone would share with me. But that was the beautiful thing about Vyse; he could give you everything you wanted that you wouldn’t dare tell another soul. Somehow he knew how to pull out those filthy perverse needs and cater to them like a gluttonous god.  He would pin me down and fuck me silly, choke me, cut me, pass me around to countless associates of his, and in my blind world I was helpless to protest.  He would fuck Duraki while Duraki strangled my life out of me, bringing me so close, so very close to that abyss.  Sometimes I would see the stars at the edges of the darkness as I fell into unconsciousness, unsure if I would ever wake again, and those were the most wonderful of times; the euphoria drowning me as I would fall under.  

But Vyse is not the most secret of addictions of mine.  Oh, he was beautifully wicked and woke things in me that will never slumber again, but he was not the object of my deepest desire.

No, that was the man who spoke to deeper parts of me, to the monster inside of me that thinks too much and speaks too little.

Xero; he was the one that owned me, that controlled my every decision, whether he knew it or not. He was brilliantly concise and treated me like a child, but a child with potential. I wanted to be anything he asked of me. He was my king, my god, my master. He was my everything, unlike anything I ever knew.

He gave me drive. he gave me sight.  And When I saw him, oh when I saw him. He was the first thing I had seen since my dance down the spiral and he was perfect. Cold, calculated, conspiring.

I loved him, but in a way that an addict loves his drug. I couldn’t get enough of him, of his mind, his voice, and on the rare occasion that I could see it, his face.  Those silver eyes were all I could think of after that. It didnt matter who was ontop of me, whose hands were around my neck, It was his name I would whisper to myself as I touched myself, as I came, as I heaved hot air into the night. Always, it was him.

He was my everything. I wanted him in dark ways, innocent ways, beautiful and filthy ways.

There was nothing else in the world I yearned for more than an approving word from him, a glance that meets my gaze, heaven forbid he pay me any attention. It was such a terrible pleasure, the desperation I felt when ever he would speak to me. Ask anything of me. I would beg silently. Ask me to touch you, to brush your hair out of your face, ask me to kill for you, anything just ask it of me.

Never, though, did I imagine ever having him ask of me what he did.

It was a long winter, a cold one, and lonely. A white out confined us, radio silence left us isolated.  I was the only living thing left in the base with Xero and he called on me for every errand. It was bliss. But I began to notice a small change in him. His aloof demeanor would grow short and his words would be unplanned, course.

Thats when I learned his secret; his addiction. After so long without contact from the outside world it was impossible for him to find the silver he needed. and oh, how he needed it.

For a moment or two, when I knew what I could offer him I felt a strange rush, as if for once, I would be able to catch his attention and it was no small thrill for me to imagine what I could ask of him in return.

We Dancers, We have our own addiction to silver you see; Nothing scars like Silver, and Spirals relish carving our own flesh, painting our bodies with marred markings and maps of the madness we can remember from our nightmares. We are never without a silver blade, and we are keep it in flakes and powders to pack our bodies and blood with when we earn new scars.  I eagerly gave him everything I had. When I had given it to him all I could dare to ask in return was that he let me watch him use it. I wanted to watch his body shutter as it was given what it needed, what it desperately craved.  He was hesitant, but he agreed all the same.  We tore the base apart, looking for a way to heat the silver, liquefy it, and deliver it into his body. Neither of us were surprised to find much of the equipment required in Vyse’s room.

I sat on the mess of Vyse’s bed and watched as Xero stretched himself out in the armchair in the corner, his lengthly legs propped outward, his hips cocked forward as he reclined, measuring his dosage. He set the syringe aside and began to unbutton his shirt, pulling it off and folding it neatly on the desk. I could see the track marks, the burns where the silver tore its way through his veins. I could see every scar and they all intrigued and excited me.

“I want to know how it feels. I want...I want to try it, Xero.”

He looked up at me from binding his arm, a strange curiosity in his eyes as his gaze wandered over me. He stopped what he was doing, set down the rubber hose and crossed his legs, tilting his head at me in silence for a few agonizing moments.

“Find another clean needle, bring it to me.” A pang of guilty excitement shoots through me as I rush to stand, fumbling over the bed, searching through Vyse’s stash. I hear Xero moving about behind me and my senses are electric, tuned into his ever motion.

I give him what he needs and I wait, sitting between his legs. He is quiet as he works, his face empty and distant and I squirm below him as my eagerness grows un-containable.

He stands, finished and walks over me to the bed, sitting with his legs apart and his back resting against the headboard. He has both syringes and calls me over. In nervous anticipation I sit near-but-not-too-near him, watching every minute movement from the way his neck tightens when he breathes to the shift of his hips on the mattress.

His fingers press against his lips as he seems to look me over in a way he never has before. His slate grey eyes wandering over my form from behind the messy strands of rusty hair and its predatory and dark.

He bites his bottom lip and shifts as he clears his throat and speaks, his eyes piercing into me.

“Come sit here. Against me.” His legs spread out a bit more, and all I can watch is the taught muscles in his stomache as he moves. I hesitate only because my mind hardly registers the reality of his request, but I do not keep him waiting long. Slowly I climb into the bed I have spent many nights in and rest on my hands and knees between his legs, the world around me feels surreal. I turn about and sit with my hips against his thighs and he slowly, methodically wraps his arms around me, leaning me against his chest as he reaches my arm and begins to tap at the crook of my elbow, waiting for my veins to stir. His breathing is slow and steady and warm in the crook of my neck and I wonder if he can feel me trembling. Syringe in hand he seems to inhale sharply as he places it against my skin.

“ Are you sure?” His voice comes from so close behind me and it feels intimate, unlike anything I’ve ever felt and my voice catches in my throat, all I can do is nod. His hands do their diligent work, holding my wrist with unexpected force, and then the needle penetrates into me and the pain is exquisite even from the first moment. He depresses the liquid into me and it sends fire through my blood, pain like I’ve never felt, pulling a moan from me and setting my body to writhe against him. It’s too hot. Its unbearable and I love it, but I cannot overcome the instinct  to  recoil from it. Still he holds me solidly by the wrist despite my other hand fumbling at his fingers to release me. I whine again and I hear him shush me softly. The burning begins to subside but the fire still runs through my blood, burning me down from the inside. As I calm, he releases me and I leans heavily against him, panting, my head spinning as a dizziness takes me. I watch from very far away as he, with his arms still around me, finds his own vein and squeezes the fire into himself. I barely feel him react, and only a soft groan slips out of him as he pulls the needle out and sets it on the nightstand next to mine.  Between us there is only the sounds of my ragged breath as I press against him and somehow he allows it, this intimate moment, this lack of distance between our bodies.

We lay like tragic statues in the spinning room, my head swimming in the brightness, the stars at the edges of my vision sparkling like galaxies. The room grows warmer as if the fire inside us was spreading, catching on the sheets and shadows. It grows so hard to breathe and I have to sit up, desperate to strip my shirt. Every synapse is alight with the stimuli, every sense is intensified. It feels like I can feel every centimeter of my skin reacting to every atom in the air pressing against me. I’m panting, whining as I crumple forward on the bed, my legs getting tangled up in his as everything spins and shakes and I feel so hot. A glance backwards and I see him leaned back, almost smiling.  Light seems to come off of him as I stare and he’s all I can see, all I can feel, he’s the only thing in the room with me and I want to catch myself up in him.

Floundering on the bed, I sit up and lean inwards to him, its so warm in this room. I try to speak and words come out but I do not understand what I say. I’m not sure if Xero does either but he laughs and the sound of his voice makes me giddy. I think I ask him to say more things. He squirms a bit and bites his lip again and I want him more than ever.

I slide myself against him and press my lips to his, hard.  It’s too warm, I begin to unbutton my pants. At first it feels like he wants to pull away, but he never quite makes it, his hands begin to help me with my pants, because I cannot seem to figure them out on my own.

I’m cursing and salivating, drooling over the mattress as the combined efforts wriggle the lip of my pants down my hips. As soon as I feel my half hard dick bobbing free of the clothing I bring my hands  down, slowly beginning to fondle it. I need it so bad, I need to feel everything, and everything feels SO much. Suddenly I’m on my back, unsure of how I even managed to get there until I look up and I see his form looming over me.

I feel my heart stop as my eyes canvas over him, his taught shoulders heaving as he delicately works the buckle of his belt aside.

He arches downward bringing his lips to mine and the feeling is like electricity, I moan into his mouth and I feel him laugh into me.

“ I didn’t know you were so thin, Ravel.” He suckles at my neck and I run my fingers through his hair, breathing in the scent of him, like fresh rain and metal. I grind my hips upwards and I feel my cock barely rubbing against the bulge in his pants.  

His hands run down my ribs, and press down on my hips, grounding me. He lets his finger fondle the curves of my scars while he breathes his smoke and smolder into my ear, suckling at the base of it, making soft grunts and sighs that send my cock dribbling.

“I think I gave you too much. Just look at you; its like you’re in heat.” One of his hands grabs around my dick and squeezes softly. I let my hands wander down his back, feeling every muscle, tensed over me. I dig my nails into his hips, turning my head into his moans and biting at his lips, pulling them into a new wave of kisses. He maneuvers himself over me, while slowly, agonizingly massaging my begging dick and pulls out his own cock, fondling it lightly.

For a few moment we lay like this, both just watching as he softly strokes the both of us off. I feel like I could come any moment, but I want so much more from him. I want so much more OF him.

“Fuck me.” I gasp out, swallowing back the dry panting. He seems caught off guard, as if he hadn’t really put much thought into where these action would lead us. He stares down at me, and I feel so small.

“ Is that what you really want?” His tone is so commanding, so powerful and dark.

“I just want you. All of you. I need you.” I try to lean up to plant kisses along his neck but his hand on my throat shoves me back into the mattress. The stare that he lets glide down my body feels lethal and I choke on my breath.

“You don’t know what you need. You don’t know anything.”

Suddenly his hands are all over me all at once, and he flips me over, pulling my hips back until they slam into his and I feel his dick press against my ass, pulsing and thick.

He hunches over me, grinding against me, almost to the point of painfully as he bites at my ear and pulls back on it, shifting the angle of my head as I whine out. I hear him grabbing at things on the night stand and suddenly a cold wetness enters me. He moves a finger about inside of me, then presses in another. I’m eager and ready for him within minutes of his teasing.  I beg him to fuck me again, I cry it out over my shoulder, trembling, wanting so much to know what his dick will feel like inside of me. But he hesitates. And I whine again and I try to shift to look back at him, but when he meets my gaze his expression turns cold again and he sneers a bit as he focuses his attention down at my quivering hips. He lines himself up and hisses as he presses harder and harder against me until the thick head of his cock breaches me and the rest of him eagerly follows.

He starts out slow, steady, but by no means gentle, not that I was complaining. His thrusts are long and deep and every time he makes sure to grind his hips into me as if to assure me that I was going to take every inch of him whether I wanted to or not. It’s almost agonizing at first, the slowness, but the more he keeps his rhythm the more my body presses into it and the more I feel these strange guttural quivers of delight.

After what felt like hours of him grinding in and out of me, pulling whimpers from me every time his let the flair of his head tug against my entrance, the pressure building in my cock was outstanding, it was streaming pre and I hadn’t even begun to play with it.

I shift to get my hands under me but Xero protests, his hands grappling up my wrists and pinning them to my back. He leans back, his long fuck of me beginning to pick up speed and fervor. The way he moves his hips is calculated and measured, its not the sloppy humping I get from Vyse and his lackeys. Its perfect. He begins sliding in and out, faster, leaning further back, his cock grinding upward inside of me. Suddenly I’m aware of a pleasure that’s almost unbearable as he grinds inside of me, I feel like with every thrust, I’m seconds away from coming. Over and Over the feeling of Almost there slams into me and it’s a delicious agony. I’ve been moaning and repeating his name so long that the word itself has lost its meaning. Now its just the only thing my mind can think of to express the sickening pleasure. I want to cum, I need it I need it I need it and it’s not happening, I struggle against his hand pinning my arms I want so desperately to grind my cock into my hands I need to fucking come so bad it’s almost unbearable. I feel tears welling in my eyes and streaming down into the sweaty sheets and I sob out his name, begging him, Please.. Please just….anything. The thrusts begin to come faster now, hitting that spot inside of me that makes me want to scream and I begin trembling below him violently.

I hear him beginning to grunt as the thrusts become rougher, and a bit of the measured tempo is lost, He starts to mutter under his breath, I can’t make it out but I don’t really care, I want it harder, deeper I want it so bad, I’m sobbing below him as the pressure becomes too much, the line between pleasure and pain blurring as my cock spittles glob after glob. It feels like an orgasm but it just keeps going. Then I feel it, The swelling of his cock inside me. It crushes that little button inside of me and I lose control. I groan out as my orgasm wrecks me, soaking the sheets below me. I Gasp for air as it keeps coming, over and over and over, and then I feel him start to cum inside of me. My cock still writhes, the orgasm still rushes through me but I simply can’t cum anymore. I hear his moan, feel his nails grip into my hip as he comes and the trembling of his body makes me want to scream. Finally he lets go of my bruised arms and pulls out of me and lets my weary body sag into the sheets. I watch him over my shoulder, weary, still just a touch dizzy from the ordeal. He uses a corner of the bedspread to wipe the cum off of himself. He’s panting and staring down at me, something wild in his expression, something dark and content and distant.

I hear him grunt a bit as he massages his still swollen cock, aiming it down towards my back and starts pissing on me, letting it splash down my back. It’s a short piss, just enough to trickle down into the bedding around me. He stands , walks around the bed and leans down, kissing into my neck.

“ Next time we should do it in my bedroom instead.” He straightens out, standing over me while I roll onto my back staring upwards at him, lost in the afterglow of whatever just happened. His gaze drifts over me and the way he looks at me makes me shiver, then without another word he turns and leaves the room, leaving me trembling and weak, the world around me closing in and burning up. He leaves me to drift off to sleep, praying to wake up with a clearer mind.

We get high and we fuck. That’s how it goes; the way Xero and I function as a couple. I get the itch, I go to him, and it happens. Since the very first time, over a year ago now, I haven’t fucked anyone else. Vyse was surprisingly quick to stop pursuing me, though I’m not sure what convinced him I wasn’t his anymore. It started out, once a month I’d come crawling to him, wanting to do it again, the silver. And he’d dose me up, then himself, and in those blurry moments, those burning nights, I’d beg him to fuck me, any way I could manage; sometimes more than once if I could convince him. When it was just us together, he was like someone completely new. That cold, calculated, aloof demeanor melted away and he was brutal; dark and unpredictable. But at the same time, he was a lot warmer. We started actually talking. Sometimes before shooting up, but mostly after. And soon enough, I started coming to him more and more. Once a month became once a week, and every time I came to him he’d lock us together in his bedroom and we’d play at one thing or another. It didn’t take him long to realize that it wasn’t the drug I was addicted to, not really. I was desperate for his touch, and… eventually we didn’t have to be high for him to fuck me silly. It was still a lot more fun when we were though. Xero, much like Vyse, enjoyed the perks of my masochism, but he took it to an entirely different level. More than anything Xero could be described as being… precise. He knew the limitations of our bodies and could measure precisely just how far he could push either of us.

“I want to cut you open.” We sit, leant upon each other in the silence of his room when his voice spooks me out of my daze, and once I realize what he says I laugh and slide down his side until I have my head rested in his lap. “Ok. Yeah sure. I’d like that.” I can’t help but stare up at him and think about much I love watching his mouth move when he talks. I reach up and press my fingers to his lips, feeling how soft they are. It always surprises you, you know? Someone like him, he looks so hard, so firm, but suddenly you get close enough to touch them and they give way under your fingers, just a little and its.. its amazing. He smirks under my fingers and opens his mouth letting one of my fingers slip in. He softly bites it before pulling his mouth away and smiling down at me as I let my arm go lip and fall. “no, I don’t mean that sloppy, surface bullshit that Vyse would do to you. I mean… I want to surgically pull your layers open and feel around inside of you, in your chest cavity.” I feel my cock twitch into attentiveness and I can only agree. I’ve never heard him talk like this and to be honest it turns me on more than I can possibly describe. I sit up and scoot in close, I lean in and let my mouth hover over his for a moment before pressing my mouth against the base of his ear. I leave a small kiss before whispering. “Only if you fuck me while you do it.” I feel a shudder run through him. He bites at my neck, nips the skin and I yelp, squirming myself into his lap as I pull back, looking down at him. He’s so perfect. He bites his lip as he looks up at me and makes that face; the one that he always makes when he’s thinking about grinding himself inside of me. “It’s a date then. But for now…” He reaches up, pushes me out of his lap, gently enough, and starts to unzip his pants. It doesn’t take me long to realize what’s on his mind and I can’t stop my tail from wagging as I maneuver to my hands and knees, waiting for him to pull his dick out. He watches my excitement and laughs at my eagerness. He can laugh all he wants but he can’t deny wanting the same thing I want. He unearths the half-soft cock and strokes it slowly, his free hand taking my chin and slowly guiding me down. “If you do a good job, I’ll let you sleep in bed with me tonight.” It’s no small secret that I’ve got it bad for him. He’s always made it so clear though that…the things we do, they don’t really mean anything. But then he goes and pulls things like that; little promises, or little touches just to string me along. Then again, who am I to complain? I sometimes think that his fucking with my emotions is a kink of mine too. With all the intent of winning that night in bed, I lean down, brushing his hand out of my way, taking the soft cock in my mouth and engulfing the entirety of it, suckling slowly, feeling it engorge and pulse slowly against the back of my throat. I let out a long, slow breath from my nose and my throat tenses as it tries to swallow despite the girth inside of it. One more deep breath and I start to pull my head back, agonizingly slow, until all that’s left in the warmth is the head of his cock. I tug on it just a touch and he hisses at me. He acts like he hates the teasing but he always comes so much harder when I string him along, and like I said; I aimed to win that night in bed with him. I hang my mouth open, letting his cock bounce heavily against my tongue as the cool air rushes in. With my hands delicately wrapped around the base I hold it at attention, marveling at the lengthy thing. It’s not completely hard yet, full enough to stand, but soft enough to sag a bit. It’s my favourite; when its like this. I press it against my cheek and feel it squirm, leaving little specks of sticky wetness. I nuzzle it into my cheek and turn my lips in to it,  leaving heavy, sloppy kisses along the shaft, at the messy tuft of pubes, and at the very tip.  I worship the damn thing, and all the while I hear him hissing and spitting profanities, his hips jerking below me. Nothing gets me harder than listening to his sex noises. As I finally give in and slide my mouth over the head again, I reach down and start to adjust myself, fondling at the already leaking member, adjusting it as I begin to slide myself up and down the length that throbs against the roof of my mouth. I feel him running his fingers through my hair, playing with a few strands as I suck him off. But after so long I can feel him getting impatient, I feel his hips beginning to buck in protest of my slow, offbeat tempo. He grabs one of my horns and starts directing me, to and fro; forcing me to move faster. I press my tongue against the shaft and let it grind; his hips begin bucking harder into my mouth and I start to lose control of the situation. And as much as I love a good face fucking, I want more out of this than just a couple more minutes of grunts and groans. I let it go just a bit longer, letting him hump into me, groaning, until suddenly I press my hands down on his hips, pinning them as I pull my head back, gasping in a lung full of air. As I look up, panting I meet his gaze and he’s gritting his teeth. His hand entangles itself into my hair, pulling to the side until he pulls me completely off of him, grinding the side of my face into the carpet. A gurgling laugh bubbles up in my throat and it seems to make him livid. He yanks me up by my hair and pulls me, half crawling up to his chest, where he stares down at me with a sneer. “You’re a little prick and I hate it when you do that.” “No you don’t” the words are more laughter than anything as I grin up at him. Any moment now and He’ll push me back down into his dick and I’ll make him scream my name. But that’s not what happens at all. Instead he pushes me up and stands, his mouth darting in to my neck, his teeth sinking in, drawing a cut-off yelp out of me. His teeth sink in and bruise the flesh and I feel my blood sliding down my chest in tiny trickles. He grinds his body against mine for a few exquisite moments while his hands trace secret pathways down my sides. He lets off, his mouth feral and dripping as it pants, his eyes looking over me like the wolf he is, stalking me, running me down. He shoves me backwards onto the bed and I fumble for purchase in the silken sheets, squirming until suddenly he is on top of me. He pins me down his mouth hovering over me so close I can almost feel his teeth cutting through the air above my skin. No matter how much he denies it, there is an animal inside of him and every so often, he slips and it gets lose.

His hand clenches around my arm and he flips me over onto my back, not hesitating a moment before lunging back down on my throat, so hard it chokes me and I fumble for air. I feel his jaw tremble, slowly pressing downward on my air supply. Then just as suddenly as he lunged downward, he retracts. He seems antsy, almost nervous, but I can barely notice. Everything spins.  When things finally clear I look over and see Xero digging into his desk drawer. He seems to find what he is looking for and turns towards the bed, approaching with sinister intent. I finally catch a glance at what it is he holds; a folding knife. His thumb rubs against its case almost too eagerly and I am suddenly aware that I am ever so slightly afraid of him and the dark way he stalks towards me, splayed out on the bedding. He stands at the foot of the bed and grabs my ankle, yanking me down the satin until my hips meet his at the foot of the bed. He flicks open the knife and watches me realize what it is. Its a gut hook knife; the delicate little swoop right behind the head gleaming as it trembles in his clenched hand. He takes the hook and slides its softly down my belly, barely touching my skin. The hook catches on the button of my pants only for a moment before it is popped clean off. He takes his free hand and starts to tug at the pants, I help him wriggle me out of them as fast as I can. He never lets the flat of the knife leave my stomach as I am undressed; the cold flat metal  pressing into me as a constant reminder.

" As long as I fuck you while I do it...that's what you wanted me to promise you, wasn't it?"

My entire body tenses and all I can do is stare down my chest at him. He couldn’t really be serious …could he?

Oh, but he was. Like an artist he let the smooth edge of the blade curve down my torso, a superficial cut. But it still stings and leaves a curled line of red bubbling up like fire down my body. I whine out his name and my body jolts with the sudden feeling, the sudden pain, but he holds down my thigh and watches me flinch. It’s some sort of deep curiosity in his eyes, and his mouth too; curling it into a taught, toothy expression somewhere between a smirk and a grimace. There is silence; stillness. I say his name again and it shakes him out of his thought. His eyes glance upward to meet my gaze just for a moment before dropping again to my body. Setting the knife down next to me, he runs his fingers down the fresh cut, pressing in on them, forcing little dewdrops of red to push up and begin dribbling down my side. His fingers find their way further down until they fumble upon my dick, dribbling as well; thick little gobs of precum as a testament to my excitement. He squeezes around the base and strokes it loosely a few time, watching me all the while; the heaving of my chest the desperate redness of my face. He watches my expression turn from needy and whining to utter surprise as I feel him pulling at my ass cheek, opening me up as he pressed the head of his dick against me. “Don’t forget, you asked for this, Ravel.” And he forces in the head. A few more inches, he pushes deeper into me; slowly, uncomfortably. But then a pause as he leans over me and picks up the knife, marveling at it. “ Are you…ready for this?” His voice seems a mix of excitement and apprehension. My mouth opens and I try to reassure him that I am, more than anything, ready but nothing comes out but a low whine and I resort to frantically nodding my head, squeezing my eyes closed. I feel the hook dig itself into my stomach, a bit above the bellybutton and I gag on a scream as it slices its way down me. I feel a nausea roiling inside of me as my insides suddenly feel cold air hitting against their wet, steaming surfaces The corners of my eyes start to sparkle with starlight. It feels so good, so bad, so much. I can’t control the near convulsion like tremors of my body as I listen to Xero coo and moan while my blood soaks his sheets.   He grabs my cock and starts to massage it a little and I moan out, near screaming. He laughs and I love the sound of it. Things are so dizzy, the pain taking the forefront of my cognition. But every time I hear his sounds it grounds me just a touch more with what he’s doing to me.  Then he starts to press harder and harder into me until finally he hilts himself and his dick presses against all my shivering walls.  I cannot see what he is doing but there is stillness again for a few moments. I close my eyes and imagine what must be going through his head right now. He could kill me. If he wanted to, or if he felt like it. It scares me more than I like to admit. I can heal from a lot but I can still die from blood-loss… it just takes an agonizingly long time; especially with a gash across the belly. But he could rip me apart, he could pull out my guts, he could destroy me. How far would I let him get? My thoughts are ripped away from me as he starts to fuck me. I look down and through the haze and stars I see him… and he is staring at me. I make eye contact with him, just for a moment before he closes his eyes and starts to thrust harder into me, starting to grunt and groan. He has one hand on my thigh, pulling it to his chest for leverage, the other rests over the gash in my abdomen, coated in my blood, pressing down just a touch into the wound. As he grows more unmetered in his thrusts, and his sounds get louder, he starts sinking that hand in, deeper. The skin folds around his and as he slips inside and the nausea returns as I feel him groping around inside of me. I have to close my eyes again. The motion of him fucking me becomes too much. He starts to pull things out of me, intestines I think, dropping them on my chest, leaving them to warm me in a sickeningly delicious way. A hollowness is felt as he pulls his hand out of me and for a moment I miss it until the hand is put to good use at my dick. Its strange at how inviting the pain is against the pleasure. I come faster than I have ever; the combination of his cock inside me, the air on my viscera, the thickness of my blood on his hand, stroking my dick. He keeps stroking me and it drives me crazy, too much tension, too much friction and at first it makes me want to scream, which I do, but as he keeps fucking me, the pleasure returns. Like a second wind I feel my cock start throbbing, sore but needy for more. I look down again, and there are his eyes staring into me. This time, though he looks hungry and when he meets my gaze it turns dark and delicious. “Put your hands inside, do it.” At first I don’t know what he means but it dawns on me. I am hesitant, but I obey. I slide a hand down my chest and feel the cut dip in. “Do it!” He raises his voice and it scares me as much as it turns me on. So I do it. I force my hand into my abdomen and it’s so warm, and everything is moving and quivering and I can slide my fingers along shapes and textures and I sort of, drift away into nothing but the feeling of my insides, swirling about as a background symphony for the best fucking I’ve ever had.  The pressure builds to a magnificent crescendo; I hear his yell and his cock tightens as it pushes out his hot cum in bursts, sending a tremble all the way through me. I clench my hand around something inside of me, my body turning ridged as I feel myself pushed over the precipice of a second orgasm and I barely have anything left in me to give but I splatter it against his chest and my own thigh and the orgasm lasts what feels like forever. Though it’s hard to really tell an amount of time when everything starts to swim and become dim and distant. I feel a stillness as he pulls himself out of me, and a coldness starts to settle in on the various fluids, but it all seems a bit far away as I become so tired. I drift to sleep, or something sleep like, anyway. Much to my surprise, I do indeed wake up.

I slip into consciousness almost as lazily as I drifted out of it. It’s warmly lit, and the room is familiar. This is my bed. I try to sit up but I can barely move. My hands feel down my chest to my stomach. Gauze, bandages…and my fingers catch at something deeper. After a few moments I realize; Stitches. Then I am startled by movement behind me and I jolt quite painfully up. And there he is. Sound asleep next to me. In my pathetic little bed. My heart pounds as I watch him. He groans and starts to feel around on the bed where I was until his eyes drift open. He stares up at me. “Lay down, let the stitches settle.” And his eyes close again. I lay down next to him and he gently pulls me closer. He runs a hand down and inspects the bandage. Satisfied, he gives a soft ‘hmm’ and lays his arm across my chest. As much as I would love to take it in and marvel at him in the moment the dizziness returns and I feel the weakness dragging me back down into the darkness of dreams.  I drift away with his smell and his warmth enveloping me and it is a comfort I have never known before. Whatever dreams would come to me would pale next to this moment.