#like their brains just started blocking out the feeling of wearing one and they couldnt feel that it had slipped past their noses

[fandomfluffandfuck]

ok so the new pics of our boys have made me simultaneously freak out and wish i was there. obviously this has sparked thoughts, mainly bc there most definitely needs to be a subastian comeback after seeing chris place those not-so-slick lingering touches all over seb’s back.

(this is so long cos i got carried away but will not be apologising😭😭)

the way seb feels nervous as he finishes being photographed and starts up the street, cameras everywhere and waiting for him to do something worthy of publishing. he walks up to the place where all of kevin’s guests are waiting and… there he is. chris. standing beside another man seb doesnt recognise but cant care about because look. chris has decided apparently that he wants to torment sebastian by showing up wearing one of his signature tight shirts. it stretches across his chest perfectly, squeezing at the meat of his biceps and making them bulge obscenely out of the sleeves. seb cant stop staring, even as he excuses himself to get through the crowd of people blocking his path to chris.

he gravitates towards the older man, not stopping until they’re within touching distance and even then, sebastian is unable to stop staring at the sharp cut of chris’ jaw and the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles. a few seconds go by until chris notices hes there, and he turns to sebastian with such warmth in his eyes that seb isnt sure what to do with himself.

“seb! you made it,” he says, that low voice of his washing over sebastian as he nods and allows chris to get in his space, “im so glad to see you.”

its been a while since they last saw each other in person, and yet the pavlovian response sebs body has to even the slightest bit of praise from chris comes back in full force. he smiles widely, a deep blush coloring his cheeks when chris places a large hand on the small of his back. the touch makes sebastian shiver and he hangs on to whatever chris is saying, introducing seb to the other man even though his name goes in one ear and out of the other. sebastians brain is too busy trying not to melt out of his ears as chris slides his hand across to his hip and then lower down his back.

“you guys havent met before, have you?” chris is saying, and sebastian shakes his head, subconsciously leaning into the touch he has missed for the better part of a year (since they filmed ghosted together). the thrill of knowing the things he used to let chris do to him behind closed doors is making sebs head feel foggy as he tries his best to engage in the conversation. fortunately, chris does most of the talking for him, another thing seb appreciates because it just goes to show how well chris really knows him.

until everyone is told to take their seats, chris doesnt remove his hand from sebastians back and it drives him crazy. the fleeting touch would be innocent if not for the past nights that had started with a polite hand on sebs back and ended with one fisted in his hair. and it doesnt help sebastian to relax when chris keeps stealing in depth glances at him out of the corner of his eye - it only serves to make seb want to meet that gaze in the hopes that its as hungry as he remembers it to be.

chris leads him towards their chairs when the conversation ends. they sit down, an empty chair labelled ‘chris pratt’ placed between their seats. chris takes the time to lean over and catch sebs attention.

“you cut your hair,” he murmurs into sebastians ear, “i like it.”

“thank you, chris,” seb replies, ever polite just how chris taught him, blushing furiously under the praise. he wants too many things at once - for chris to reach out and touch him, anywhere or everywhere, sebastian doesnt care.

“you’re welcome, sweetheart,” says chris, and the nickname makes sebs stomach flip, “though, it is a lot shorter than it used to be. less to pull on, in my opinion.”

sebastian couldnt feel more cornered if he tried, despite being in the middle of a crowd of actors who all have no ided what is manifesting between him and chris in this moment. sebastian blinks and suddenly, another man is taking up the space between him and chris; chris pratt. he grins at the two of them and strikes up and comversation with sebastian’s chris. seb inwardly grumbles but is partially grateful for the interruption - he isnt sure what he might have done if chris kept looking at him like that. hungry. wanting. like, if he could, he was seconds from leading seb away from the group and pushing him up against a wall somewhere.

inevitably, after another round of photos and festering sexual tension, thats exactly what ends up happening. with the paps having taken all the photos they need and their cameras being put away, chris takes the opportunity to gently nudge sebastian towards a theatre of some kind nearby and into one of the single bathrooms around the corner.

the moment the door locks, neither of them can keep their hands off each other. its been so long without any time alone, months since seb has felt the way chris touches his body like he owns it and makes sebastian ache like he never has before. the two of them are all heavy breathing and sloppy kisses and eager hands, untucking shirts and unbuttoning pants.

its animal, the kind of hunger that latches onto sebastians gut and tugs, making him press chris into the door and line up their bodies so he can get one of chris’ thick thighs between his own and use it to give himself some relief.

“fuck, i missed you, sweetheart,” chris whispers, letting his hands find their way into sebastians hair, “you’ve been on my mind for months.”

“you thought about me?” seb asks breathlessly, not because he doesnt believe chris but because hearing how much chris wanted him might be enough to get him off.

“of course i did,” chris says, pushing his thigh into sebastians erection and eliciting a wanton moan from the younger mans mouth, “ive been waiting to get my hands on you for as long as we’ve been apart. you have no idea the things i want to do to you - you’re the prettiest thing ive ever seen and ive wanted to show you just how much i want you for months.”

chris continues with his sweet words until seb is making embarrassingly pathetic noises into the crook of chris’ neck, biting and licking at it in between gentle whimpers and desperate whines.

“are you close already, baby? are you gonna use me and make yourself come?”

seb nods weakly, his breath catching in his throat as he grinds against chris’ thigh with irregular movements and chases his pleasure.

“make a mess for me, sweetheart, thats a good boy…”

chris’ encouragement is what does seb in, in the end. he comes in his fucking underwear like a teenager, pressing his fingers into every part of chris’ body that he can reach and pulling him in as closely as he can.

when this is over, theyll talk some more, maybe arrange to get coffee together since theyre both currently in the same city. chris will invite sebastian over to his hotel and seb will pretend he isnt vibrating at the prospect of having an actual bed for chris to take him apart on. but in the meantime, seb needs to calm down, get his legs working again, and tell chris just how much he enjoyed this.

oh. and figure out a way to clean up his pants…

- ok thanks for reading this mess i just let the thoughts flow and they would not stop😅

related to pictures from Chris and Seb being together at the Hollywood Wa/k Of Fame ceremony for kevin Feige

Yeah! If I couldn't've been there, then I'm so fucking glad we got so much footage and so many angles of it! Every single one makes me stare at my phone like an idiot.

The "not-so-slick" touches... yeah 😮‍💨😮‍💨 we all KNOW that Chris being handsy makes poor Sebastian feel some kind of way.

(No! Do not apologize!! I am always here for the length 😏)

Exactly! The tight shirt! Evans, HOW COULD YOU. I love this description of Chris, too 🤤🤤 Anyone would stop dead in their tracks, no matter the amount of famous foot traffic behind them, lol

"Touching distance" is so visceral!! I love!

The sweetness of Chris underlaid with Seb's trained response to it 😏 I love it and the casual possessive touching, too. Get it, Seb! Let that name go in one ear and out the other 💀💀

The lean in! The fogginess!! Yes!

"until everyone is told to take their seats, chris doesnt remove his hand from sebastians back and it drives him crazy. the fleeting touch would be innocent if not for the past nights that had started with a polite hand on sebs back and ended with one fisted in his hair. and it doesnt help sebastian to relax when chris keeps stealing in depth glances at him out of the corner of his eye - it only serves to make seb want to meet that gaze in the hopes that its as hungry as he remembers it to be."

That whole fucking paragraph. Just. Yeah. 😮‍💨🥴

The way Chris taught him? 👀 Oh? I would like to know more?

Cock block Pratt, how dare he, lmao. But Seb's right with that... there would've been shit going down not appropriate for the public if something hadn't stopped them. Oh, if only 😈

YES! GET IT! GET THEM AWAY FROM THOSE CROWDS!

"its animal, the kind of hunger that latches onto sebastians gut and tugs, making him press chris into the door and line up their bodies so he can get one of chris’ thick thighs between his own and use it to give himself some relief."

I. Yeah. Yup. That's hot.

Of course, Seb likes hearing Chris say it 😏

“are you close already, baby? are you gonna use me and make yourself come?”

I. WILL. DIE.

Me and so will Sebastian when he has to do the walk of shame out of that bathroom. Sorry, boys, but I kind of hope the paps get pictures of that, too 👀

In conclusion:

I love this whole fucking scene for them, the mounting tension between them with this whole event as build up, the cutting loose so soon after the event, and the tease at more...

Goddamn.

Thank you for this. I will now read it again and picture more about how they look in that fucking bathroom stall because. Yeah.

[megalo224]

How would you suggest to learn art? I currently am only able to draw heads not very well but I try and I'm very inspired by your art, do you have any suggestions or tips?

look at ur favs and try to draw like them! when i wanted to start taking art more seriously i was copying frames off cuphead and the sonic mania intro by eye and eventually i made some art friends who i wanted to draw JUST like. and i basically tried to adopt the artstyles that inspired me during whatever era of my life at the time but naturally my own swag shined through and after many years and inspo from so many different things, i draw the way i do now, and am still striving to get better! so what im saying is legit to just look at ur favorite artists and try to do what theyre doing, study ppls styles copy art by eye for practice, try to push yourself to try new stuff. pushing yourself sucks a lot because it can be quite a demotivator when you try to do something cool but you dont see what you quite hoped but thats experience!

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wear ur inspirations on ur sleeve! some of my fav artists that have inspired me a lot in the past 2 years are bobobazarra, marcoggers on twitter, vintdoo, dakidavekat, evilsk8r, deppa, mettaflix. and those are only just a few! i could literally go on naming people for hours. dont be afraid to proudly shout abt what or who who inspires ur stuff!

when it comes to hard practice and studies, if youre willing to get into certain techniques u can try looking into ways to break down the body, like boxing out stuff like the torso and pelvis and stuff like that to use as construction. to me when the mood would strike me when i was starting out, doing figure studies and copying poses i found on google was smth id do for like 30 mins to an hour, even if they were terrible it was just fun to draw them and move on to the next. and it was experience! even if it didnt feel like it at the time. like, doing something like copying a buncha hands for fun creates a mental library for ur brain to pick from to help make whatever unique hand youre trying to make for your art. its all experience! so do it when you feel up to it!

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and overall just try to have fun, if you find yourself frustrated enough to feel hopeless about art then just try to take a step back and come back later or draw whatever makes you happy. but when youre able to take on challenge and pushing yourself always try to, and try to have fun and keep in mind that what youre doing is gonna shoot your stuff to the stars and that u just gotta keep going. and get pinterest! that shit helps out a fuckton both with creative inspiration and art studies and practicing and tips.

------------------------------------------ also keep in mind everything ive said here is just my personal experience and whats worked for me. everybody works differently with art. something that changed my perspective a lot was meeting one of my favorite artists last year, and asking for advice because i was going through horrible art block and self worth issues. i was going crazy copying peoples art in my sketchbooks trying to figure out what others understood that it felt i couldnt, trying to figure out what was missing. i was super desperate for improvement and it felt like i was improving so slowly compared to others with the same amount of years spent drawing as

i. so when i asked this artist what they did to study stuff, they told me they barely even did studies on anatomy and whatever. which was crazy to me because it felt like they had such a grasp on that kinda thing and stylized it so well. that didnt make me stop studying though but it made me worry about everything way less, because it made me realize you just gotta do what you feel is right and what you feel is truly pushing you, but most importantly have fun doing it. it made me realize art wasnt this rigid ass process where i was breaking rules or not eating enough art veggies. so with that, i accepted myself and i moved forward continuing to push myself but not worrying as much about improvement right away, just have fun and do studies and shit as i went when i wanted to, and give myself a little push to strive for stuff just a bit crazier than what i felt i was capable of.

everyone is different, theres some artists that start from the feet up or start drawing a body from the shoulder its crazy. but its not because its objectively better to do that, its just how they draw. some artists do full sketch constructions for bodies, some artists do everything from eye. im sure theres some that switched from doing everything from eye to wanting to do construction for bodies and stuff, and vice versa. they did what worked for them, but what makes ppl rly improve is simply that they have fun in the process and strive to push themselves, thats the most important thing, or at least thats my perspective on it at this current point in my life.

so do what you feel is right, have fun, try different techniques out, try different stuff that you feel will help you, keep being inspired.

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best of luck to u, sorry for yapping kinda a lot and thank u a ton for the kind words!

[sunnixsunshine]

Hehe, hoohoo my hdhd made me draw some silly little guys >:3c lmao i couldnt focus much last night and just drew whatever idea popped into my head first, which was was 12 year old Hassel, Brassius, and Larry. Some headcanons under the cut :)

Hassel

He is not a natural blond. Yeah he dyes his hair, no shame to it though. When he ran away at 15, that's when he starts to dye his hair. Sort of as a way to further separate himself from his old life. He would also experiment with strips of color, but as he got older he stuck with plain blond.

His starter was an Axew, who still serves on his team as a Haxorus. He's affectionately named him Siegfried. He's raised Siegfried since he was an egg, a tradition in his family. He also caught himself a Dratini with the help of Siegfried, which he named Ezra. Ezra remains on his team to this day, now fully evolved into a Dragonite.

Brassius

Pretransition Brassius wore so much baggy clothes at this age. Many, MANY hoodies. Cargo pants and jeans a size too big so he'd have a sag and would have to wear a belt too. Made him feel comfortable. He's lucky his mom was understanding enough to just assume he liked how loose it felt and not pester him into telling him the real reason. He would come out to his mom eventually, and she would support him every step of the way, but at this point he wasn't ready. He took on the gym challenge, but stopped half way due to getting way too focused on a sculpture...

The first pokemon he ever caught was at the age of nine, and it was a Sunkern. He never named her himself, but his mom called her Sunshine or Sunny often as a nickname. This Sunkern would grow into a Sunflora, who would unfortunately fall ill to a common illness amongst grass types and pass away during the worst slumps of Brassius' life, sending him deeper into a depressive art block. She became one of inspirations for Brassius' most viewed and well known art work, Surrendering Sunflora. Brassius would vow not to use another Sunflora, or Sunkern, on his team ever out of respect for his fallen friend.

Larry

If you asked any other trainer taking part in the Unovan gym challenge, they'd tell you they had no idea Larry was even taking part. He didn't exactly put too much effort into battling the gyms or passing trainers. He only really started the challenge to level up his then Staravia. Which he then thought would give them both a better advantage in playing baseball together. He ending up dropping the challenge all together after gym number five as at this point baseball season had started. It was his number one priority afterall. Later in life, he wouldn't revisit the challenge but he would battle passing trainers more.

His Staravia had been by his side since he was a Starly. He had just turned seven when his uncle gifted him the Starly after a business trip to Sinnoh. He wouldnt have a name until two years later is when Larry taught him the TM Swift; so his name is Swift. Very clever, very creative. Such a big brain this kid has. Everyone hand him the ribbon for most creative person on the planet.

[thesilentlands]

Chapter 7+: Volts Upgrade

-dont worry, if he does anything bad to you let me know.

Volt could only reply with a simple "OK" before his message systems where blocked by the block chip. The chip also blocked his ability to move so hes completly imobile now only able to see and speak.

Volt then was placed on a harness and he waited for something.

-Hello? - he spoke out in a scared and confused static voice, then Frank came in to the room, wearing a diffrent shirt and a diffrent robotic arm.

-hello volt - Frank said in a calm voice, slowly aproching a table where verious mechanic tools where located

-why are you doing, this? To me? -

-listen buddy since you guys moved hire i wanne do a good thing by cheaking you out-

-but but you cant, youll wont like what youll find-

-bealive me, i find many bad things inside bots that where traveling for a long while-

-but um UM-

-you dont have to worry about anything Volt- he said, walking twards Volt with a mear chair

Frank then removed Volts forgead plate and pulled out his "brain", this was a pretty tipical thing to do, but Volt was nerwous.

-are you gonna kill me?- he asked

-why of course not, your not ready for salvage yet, hehe..-

-...-

-i think i know why your worried-

-whats that?-

-your from a bunker, arent you?-

-?!- Volt was shoked at what he heard -How you know???-

-well i know that your kind of model orginated from bunkers, plus your main chip is inscribe with bunker numerals-

-huh, so you knew from start?-

-yup, but i was kinda suprised when i first saw you walking on two legs-

-weard habit of mine-

-alright im gonna upgrade your system now, and maybe do some modification to improve you, your gonna black out-

-fine, alright, just do it-

As Volt said Frank did, Volt now couldnt see, hear or feel anything, he was completly surounded by darkness. Frank took some time wail reparing Volt, his systems where old and really out dated, he took 4 hours repeplacing, updating and modifing Volt. When frank was finished he removed the block chip and waited untill Volt woke up

Volt waited untill all his limbs where usable then he woke up, he looked around and saw Frank working at his desk, he then barked in a much better voice, he was suprised by this. Then Frank looked back at him and let him off his harness.

-soo, how do you feel?- Frank asked

-it feels odd, i can see everything better and my voice is better, im better-

-yeah bud, ive replaced your voice box with a new one, updated your system, and ive also removed your upper mouth plate where your lens was-

-wheres the plate now-

-dont worry, ive put it in on the top of the shelf, you know its risky-

-right, what else have you done to me?-

-alright, go to that mirror over there- he points at a mirror

Volt walks over to the mirror and looks at him self, he notised that at the bolts that hold his jaw there where a sturdey pieace of wire sticking out.

-did you broke me??-

-no no, just open your mouth and youll see-

Volt slowly opened his jaw and the wire was starting to split into many more and then a holo projection with a faint yellow color appered.

-wo!-

-yeah i had a spare part that did this, when you scream youll then flash band someone your faceing, so be carefull-

-ok! Anything else?-

-ive instaled some small solar panels on your back-

-nice, anything else-

-thats all volt, you can leave now if you what-

-Frank?-

-yeah?-

-would you like to know something, i can anwer it-

-uhh, let me think... To who did you give the lens? If there was a lens in the first plac--

-to mike, he found me in my weakest and helped me, so i repayed him-

-alright then, thanks for shareing that-

-you wont tell anyone?-

-i wont, i promise-

-alright, ill be leaving now-

-later bud, see you in the morning-

Then Volt left, he was suprised and kinda happy that people dont judge him nor mike, he then went up stairs, quietly to not disturb the other, he walked up to the door and he could her Micheal and Vanessa talk.

He chose to not disturb them, he returned down stairs and layed on the couth he then entered his sleeping mode and sleep the night away, happy that he didnt need to hide his orgins

[two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat]

Was anyone else just like...really weird about things that weren't yours ending up with your things?

Like...ok for example, in elementary school we would earn gold slips as a reward and we could use them to buy certain privileges for a week or a day or whatever

And I dont remember what grade but we had a "class pet" that was a stuffed rabbit and we could pay to bring it home with us for a week. And as a kid who really fucking loved stuffed animals (my bed was completely covered in them) I decided I would save up for that

Well I got it home and immediately hid it under my bed cuz It Did Not Belong. I wanted nothing to do with it. It lived under my bed the entire week so I would not have to look at it. The idea of having it touch any of my other stuffed animals gave me anxiety. And I was so fuckin relieved when it was time to take it back.

This never happened with new stuffed animals that I got at the store or as a gift. In fact new stuffed animals always got an honorary spot next to my pillow at night for at least a week after I got them. But if it was not MINE then it did not get to mix with my things.

I always gave people their pencils or pens back when I borrowed them cuz the idea of putting it in my pencil case made me nauseous. Even if they told me I could just keep it. Which made it really hard to understand how people could steal my pencils.

[soft-boi-eli]

Ok ok! Good uhm.

Ok since body dysmorphia has been kicking my butt lately i wanted to request something with Schlatt where basically the reader Starts getting really insecure because of their body. Pushing and pulling on their stomach etc. They also start binding unsafely with like really tight bras because they can't afford a binder and they end up fucking up their ribs really bad. They end up in the hospital and a very worried Schlatt visit's them and lectures them about how they shouldn't have done that and about how worried he was. So when they get back home there is a gift on the bed, turns out Schlatt bought them a binder.

The reader would be Non-binary and afab.

Also a little message for pretty much anyone who is insecure about their body/has body dysmorphia because of their chest, don't bind unsafely. That can really fuck up your chest and make you actually being happy with your body even harder.

Hell yes. I love this idea thank you icarus! Writing has been rude to me lately and I needed inspiration. This has hit it exactly.

Pronouns:nonbinary (dont think any were actually used in this so yeah.)

Tw: AFAB reader, swearing, insecurity, mention of surgry, mention of blood, mention of hating self, pain. Again angst to fluff. It is reflecting on how I have felt about my body before because I needed to make it seem kinda real.

PSA: please dont bind safely. It's dangerous and can lead to serious health consequences. I know hating your body sucks but I dont want anyone to get hurt because they dont listen to their lungs, they dont take off their binder, or if their bras are way too fucking tight. It can and will hurt you. So please bind safely!!

Happy birth-what the fuck?!

Lately your brain was giving you more dysphoria then ever. Telling you your body was too big, your boobs were too noticable, and you hips are too feminine.

What brought this on? Someone simply said your dead name. It made your dysphoria hit you like a truck.

After that day everything went down hill. Your stopped streaming, telling your followers that you were going on a mental break, you didn't really talk to friends, your brain could put words together. And you most importantly barely texted your loving supporting boyfriend schaltt, not wanting to break down in front of him.

You never had the time or thoughts of getting a chest binder. It was your biggest mistake honestly.

Deciding against chest binders and wearing alot of tight bras to flatten you. But it didnt work. So you got tighter bras. And they did work. But you didnt read up on how to bind safely.

This lead to the predicament now. In front of your mirror you were pinching and pulling at your skin. There was too much. All you wanted to do was cut it off with scissors. But decided against it due to the fact of all the blood that you would loose.

Your chest, smaller then it was yas, was still visible after your 3rd bra. You decided to add a 4th and tighter one hoping it would completely hide your boobs.

Your body made you want to puke. It made you feel disgusting. But you never told schaltt that. Afraid that he would say that you looked as gross as you thought you did.

Only 5 minutes after the 4th bra you felt excoriating pain in your ribs. And worse of all a harsh pop. That immediately brought red flags. It hurt to breath. Your head fuzzy and light headed.

Your only reaction, to call for an ambulance. Dialing the three numbers as you whimpered in pain you held onto your lungs. "911 what's your emergency?" "I cant breathe. It hurts so bad. Please help." "Are you by yourself?" "Yes. I need help please." "Ambulance, firemen, and police are on their way. Ambulance is 2 minutes out."

You didnt know if you had 2 minutes. "They can break the door down if I dont answer." That's all you said after collapsing.

Next thing you knew your door was busted off its hinges and you saw two paramedics. They were quick to transfer you to the ambulance, cutting through the four bras that held your chest.

It help get air to your lungs but it barely helped.

"We have a collapsed lung. ETA 2 minutes." The paramedic back there with you spoke to the walkie talkie.

Collapsed lung? Was that the harsh pop? God, was the bras that bad of an idea? All that was going through your mind was how you possibly could get worse. The instant you got into the trauma bay was way worse. With no time to numb you and your O2 stats dropping they had to cut between your ribs and shove a tube right next to your left lung. Draining air and excess blood blocking your lung from inflating. And before you knew it you were off to emergency surgery for getting a shard of bone out of your chest cavity.

The last thing you remember was counting down and falling asleep.

When you woke up your boyfriend was next to your bed, hands engulfing one of yours.

It looked like he had been crying before falling asleep on one of your legs. Taking your free hand through his hair you smiled lightly. "I'm sorry for all of this ram boy." He grunted lightly and moved his head back into your hand. His messy hair was thick and nearly matted. It made you wonder how long he's been sitting there. You loved him and felt so selfish for doing this to him.

"I cant believe I did all this and for what? To cause you and everyone pain? All because i couldnt afford a chest binder and deciding that I might as well try another way. I should have been safer huh?" You didnt expect an answer back. Just his quite snores.

"Yeah. Not really fuckin selfish more like kinda dumb. Your body doesnt show who the fuck you are (y/n). Your heart does. And your heart isnt say boy or girl. Its saying you are you. A person who uses pronouns they them. A person that love everyone and cares for their friends. A person who love me and jambo so deeply."

He took a breath.

"You normally are quite smart. Saving up for one would of been a better idea instead of doing such a stupid thing. Asking for my help. Because if I knew I would of helped. I would of found one just right for you. I would help you remember to take it off after 8 hours. Even would of found a way to make you feel more like you."

You could hear his heart break.

"But now you're here, four broken ribs, a healing lung, and stuck in the hospital for another week at least."

You felt so guilty. He was right. You should of told him. He would never have seen you like you saw yourself. He never cared about how you looked. He only cared for your heart.

Tears falling down your face you continued to massage his scalp. "I could of lost you. You are my rock. When I cant keep up my normal antics and feel like I'm at an all time low. You are there to pick me up." You had to stop the sob from coming up. "I'm just so happy youre alive." He looked up.

His red eyes were making your heart ache. "I wont do it again I promise. But I cant just ignore the feeling of dread whe. I look down and realize I present so much like a girl. I dont wa t to be one." Schaltt nodded and kissed the hand he was holding. "Then let me help you. I wont let this happen again. Just please. Come to me. Talk to me. I'm here like you are for me."

You gave a small nod.

This man knew his way to your heart. He was so sincere about this. "I will. But promise me you wont look down on me if I end up feeling like that." You just needed to make sure you knew he would never but you needed his words. "Mever sugarbabe. Never in my life have I looked down on you and never will."

God the week was long, him and the doctor explaining safe binding that you cant fully bind for at least 6-8 weeks. Schlatt telling you his reaction to finding your apartment swarmed with police and firemen and you no where to be seen.

He was practicing on saying happy birthday to you. But was cut off. "Happy birth-what the fuck?!" He was so concerned and even more so when you were in hospital.

When you did go home he helped you through the door, and watched you as you saw the small package on your couch.

Opening it you saw a chest binder. Specifically the one you were looking at. Looking over to schaltt with tears in your eyes you walked up and hugged him lightly minding the pain in your left side. This was the best gift.

The only gift you had been wanting for the past week or two. "Now you can be safe. But no binding till your doctor says so or I swear to god I will personally smite you down." You had to try so hard no to laugh or the pain would of been hell. Kissing his cheek you smiled.

"Of course schaltt. I will make sure to not wear it till I'm healed dont want to get blood on it ya know. Also it would hurt like a fucking bitch."

He chuckled and ruffled your hair. "Alright now go sit down. I'll get you some soup ya dork."

This was going to be a great time. That was until the pain fully came back. And then this is going to be a mediocre time.

Please pardon spelling errors. I havent proof read. And I am on mobile for almost all stories. But thank you so much for requesting this became something that I could write and it helped me alot. Now I might take a while for other things too and i apologize that's cause i am starting school soon. Also family issues. So yeah might take a bit. Dont know how long though. I'll try to keep them coming but if not you know I'm studying or helping my mom and grandma.

Eli out.

[witchcraft-in-wonderland]

Potions and Princes (Pt.1)

-------------------------

Virgil never really had much talent, at least not where his family was concerned. His brother Logan was the brightest witch their teachers had ever met, his mother the most beautiful, and his father the most powerful.

And then there was Virgil, utterly useless and utterly pathetic at any and all magical endeavours.

He wasnt even sure he should still be at the boarding school for witches in training, he'd barely passed his entrance exams, Logan always told him that he was better at magic than he gave himself credit for, but Virgil never really believed him.

"I'm telling you Lo, they're gonna kick me out any day now! You graduate next year and then there's nothing stopping them from doing it!" Virgil said, spread out across the couch in the common room.

"Virgil, they're not going to kick you out just because I'm not here, you've been performing magic perfectly well for a sixteen year old witch, and you've still got five years left to improve," Logan said, twirling his wand in his hand and watching the blue and pink waves emanating from the end of it.

"That's easy for you to say, you've never had a problem getting a spell to work or a potion to mix correctly," Virgil said, pouting slightly.

"I think you're perfectly attentive with potions," Logan replied, spinning his wand in a quick circle to cancel the spell and putting it back in his pocket.

"Clearly you've never actually watched me make a potion," Virgil replied, grimacing.

"Well, you have some of the highest potion marks you can get, so clearly you must be doing something right," Logan continued.

Virgil paused for a few seconds, fidgeting with the hem of his black skirt.

"Can we talk about something else. . ." Virgil said finally.

"Of course," Logan said, sitting down next to Virgil and moving so Virgil's head was resting in his lap.

"How'd that meeting about your top surgery spell go?" Virgil said.

"Swimmingly," Logan said, a grin spreading across his face.

Logan and Virgil were similar in a lot of ways, but they were also very different. Whereas Virgil could go ages without a hair cut, wear skirts, and didnt mind not having his binder on, Logan wouldnt be caught dead dressed femininly, Virgil liked the darker aspects of magic, those made Logan shudder just to read about, Virgil laughed at just about anything, it took a very well times joke to get Logan to laugh, Logan had a loving boyfriend named Emile, and Virgil was so undesirable that not even a toadstool would've chanced him.

"That's good, how do you feel?" Virgil asked.

"Its a little sore, but it wouldve been like that without magic to," Logan answered

"I'm just glad your happy," Virgil said, smiling.

"Have you written to mom and dad yet?" Logan said.

"No. . ." Virgil replied. It wasnt that he didnt like exchanging letters with his parents, but they always wanted to talk about his classes and his marks, never how he was feeling or if he'd made any friends.

Granted, Virgil hadn't made any friends, he was just as lonely now as he had been when he started attending the school at age six.

But none of that was helped by his status in relation to the most famous family of witches in the millennia.

Roman Prince-Duke and Remus Duke-Prince were the most coveted pair of twins from the moment they made their availability known. Within the year Remus had found himself smitten with one Patton Boleyn, but Roman was still very much available.

Not that it mattered since he practically hated Virgil's guts. He'd glare at Virgil when he walked into the room, whisper about him when Virgil thought he wasnt listening, and would absolutely lose his mind if they had to work together.

So Virgil had given up hope of being noticed positively by the handsome prince, because Roman had made it very clear where he stood on Virgil's existence.

Virgil awoke the next morning twice as exhausted as he'd been when he went to bed. This was of course, perfectly normal form him, he never got sleep, that was just how he worked.

He checked the schedule on the side of his bed and felt his heart sink as he read his first class of the day, dueling.

Virgil was a complete disaster when it came to duels, he couldnt focus enough to get any spells to work right and he was always so busy thinking about spells that he never remembered to block them.

The sinking feeling in his chest was only amplified once he read over his partner for today's duel. Roman, of course it had to be Roman. Roman with the smile that could stun better than any form of magic, Roman with the brain that could come up with a new spell within seconds, Roman that could block any attack with a flick of his wrist.

Virgil began mentally preparing his will as he walked inside the building.

"I cant duel with him! Are you sure theres no way to change the pairings?" Virgil froze as he overheard Roman's voice talking to the instructor, he sounded scared, maybe even upset. But Virgil just assumed he was imagining things and moved on.

He barely paid attention to the other duels until his name was called, only then did he finally look up to the stage.

He felt numb as he stepped up to the center, and even worse as he watched Roman approach from the other end. He wanted to curl up in his overly-large sweater and disappear into the abyss.

"On my count, the duel will begin in five!" Virgil's grip on his wand tightened.

"Four!" He watched as Roman dug his feet into the wood.

"Three!" Dear gods why was he smirking? Did he have to be smirking?

"Two!" Virgil tried to keep himself focussed.

"One!" A flash of light, sparks, and then it all disappeared.

And in the center of the smoke, was a small, red and white, frog.

Oh gods oh gods oh gods nonononono please tell me someone else did that nonononono this cant be happening- Virgil's mind was racing as he watched the teachers rush over to what had been Roman mere seconds ago. He wanted to run, he heard yelling, angry yelling, he felt things being thrown, heard people getting their wands out.

The teachers made quick work of getting Roman back to normal, and Virgil had rushed out of the room almost as soon as he saw the shock on Roman's face.

"Virgil!-" Roman called after him, but Virgil was already rushing across the grounds back to his dorm, he didnt need to hear anything else about what a horrible witch he was, and he certainly didnt want to risk getting cursed.

He was so busy rushing off in fact, that he barely noticed the figure watching from the tallest tower of the school.

----------------------------------------------

Tag list:

@meowthefluffy

@willowaudreykeyes

@thefivecalls

@nerosdayinhell

@thecolorfulolive

@melodiread

@frog-candy-bee

@frawkeye

@cemmy

@teamplutoforlife

@pricklyfish777

[drkcnry67]

you are

A/N: going into the DC side of things. except another leap for my writing as well as my brain. this came to be in the middle of the night bout 2am so i briefly jotted a few ideas on a piece of paper in the dark and now im doing this… i hope this brings joy in these dark times!

Pairing: Kate Kane x reader

sentance inspirations : “what's stopping you now?" “can you help me with my tie?” / “can you zip up my dress?”

tags: WARNING THIS IS INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES! THIS STORY FEATURES LESBIAN (GIRL ON GIRL) SEX, I REPEAT DO NOT READ IF UNDER THE AGE OF 18. I MEAN IT! DO NOT READ THIS STORY IF YOUR UNDERAGE! YOU WILL BE VIOLATING SOME LAWS IF YOU DO! NOW DONT DO IT!

summery: not freaking telling

Masterlist

several years ago, billionaire Bruce Wayne disappeared from Gotham City, the company struggled but when Lucius Fox got murdered his nephew Luke struggled to keep Wayne techs inner lights on.

one evening Kate Kane walked into the office of CEO Bruce Wayne her cousin. she was determined to continue the legacy he had left behind in one shape or form.

she stumbled upon her cousins biggest secret, the biggest legacy he had left behind. she found the Batcave. she discovered her cousin was Batman. now she continues the shadow of the Bat. she continues to strike fear into the criminal element of Gotham City.

you had gone off the grid shortly after Bruce did, you werent sure when or if you should return but 6 years later you did, just cause you figured things would have changed and you had heard about another bat being in gotham.

you wanted to know if Bruce had returned. of course you knew your boss’ deepest darkest secret, you were his co ceo and his secretary. you had to know these things.

the penthouse you had been living in before leaving gotham hadnt changed at all. after putting your stuff down and getting somewhat settled, you decided to go and see if your workplace had changed at all, you decided to go see if anything had changed with Wayne tech.

the exterior of wayne tech hadnt changed though there were fewer lights on inside, but you swiped your key card thinking that no one else would be here that you would be able to go upstairs without anyone realizing that you were here.

kate: “someone just used a key card and entered the building.” Luke: “what do we do?” Kate: “we need to find out who they are and how they have a key card. It looks like they are coming up here. So perfect we will be questioning them in no time.”

Luke: “why would we question someone who used a key card? wait what was the key card access number?”

Kate looked at the computer again…

Kate: “4789932. why do you ask?”

Luke: “dont interrogate the person coming out of the elevator was the last person to see Bruce before he disappeared. his secretary, YN.”

you exit the elevator at that moment to see Luke and Kate in the room. Kate’s eyes lock onto yours, her gaze piercing your soul, you had forgotten that you were standing in the office of your former boss.

Luke: “you YN right?”

YN: “who are you? and how did you get in here? this is sacred space.”

Kate steps in front of luke and comes close to you.

Kate: “no need to be hostile, im Kate Kane im Bruce’s cousin. the one he didnt really mention, when he disappeared i figured i would use this place as my home away from home. plus my buddy Luke here is the son of Lucius who i believe worked closely with you and Bruce before Bruce disappeared and before Lucius passed a year ago. when my cousin disappeared did you happen to…”

you interrupted Kate, you felt bad for doing so but you knew what she was gonna ask.

YN: “no he didnt mention anything to me about where he was going, he was just being Bruce. he told me he had to leave Gotham and wasnt sure if or when he would return. i left that same day when he and i had last talked. we had our final conversation and i got on the next flight out of gotham and spent the last few years trying to cope with having lost my job, the loss of my best friend, and the loss of my life.”

Kate: “how long have you been back in Gotham?”

You had to set yourself down in a chair cause now you were feeling the vibes and memories from being back in the office.

YN: “i got back only 4 hours ago. i live in the penthouse in the gotham plaza hotel a couple blocks away. but there are a ton of cars and everything everywhere whats going on?”

Kate looked at you and then remmbered that you hadnt been back in gotham very long.

Kate: “tonight is some sort of fancy ball type thing that the rich folk are throwing in honor of the crows security team that helps the gcpd protect gotham well only those who can afford it anyway. anyway my dad wants me to make an appearance and be there and such so i was wondering if your not busy would you consider coming with me…”

you were shocked this woman this woman who you had barely known for a total of half an hour was asking you on a date… and you of course had nothing to wear.

YN: “i would love to but i have nothing to wear.”

Kate: “we can solve that… Luke im taking the night off… and whatever you do dont contact me at all. im gonna show YN just how much has changed in this city and with its people. and rememebr to pick us up at the apartment at 6:30pm.”

Kate takes you to the elevator and down to the garage. you of course realized that she had a motor bike and that was a total turn on for you.

YN: “where are we gonna find me an outfit on such short notice.”

Kate: “there is a boutique near my place we will stop there on the way to getting me ready.”

you take the helmet that she hands you, you put it on and strap your small bag cross your body, and get on behind Kate. you hold on tight as she takes off out of the garage.

the feeling coursing through your veins right then was something you hadnt felt in a long time. in about 15 minutes you both arrived at a small boutique. it was super fancy, you remmber hitting alot of those types of store when you were bruce’s secretary.

Kate: “lets find you a dress…”

you and Kate walk into the boutique and smile as you both walk in not knowing what you wanted like detail wise for a dress. but Kate spoke up fairly calm.

Kate: “can i get some help to find this lovely woman a dress for the ball tonight?”

Helen comes around the corner and stands immediately in front of you and Kate.

Helen: “such a fluent canvas, let me guess you wear mostly bright colors, but look good in almost anything, dont really care for heals but will deal with wedges, spaghetti strap, built in bra, and has to have a slit in the front for easy walking but can deal if it doesnt. how did i do?”

YN: “you got it. how did you know?”

Helen: “darlin’ ive been at this a long time plus you are very easy to read… wait a moment you remind me of.. YN?”

you had to think now… you couldnt think straight in the first place cause of Kate but now you were faced with this lady who suddenly knew your name.

YN: “im sorry you seem to have me at a disadvantage. do i know you?”

Helen: “its me Helen, i was your tailor when Mr Wayne was still here. God rest his soul.”

you now knew who she was and she hugged you welcoming you back to Gotham as she took you to the rack where she happened to have a mermaid spaghetti strap in lilac and in your size.

she pulled it off the shelf and handed it to you. you held it up to your figure and she gave it the thumbs up as she went to grab you a shawl and a handbag as well as a pair of wedges which she took a guess on the size.

kate and you went back to her apartment and she helped you get comfortable before she went to go get ready for the ball. you started to take off what you currently were wearing, and then you slid into the dress. the satin lace combo gliding across your skin.

you didnt hear Kate who wanted your help with her tie come back as you finished pulling the up but couldnt reach the zipper.

Kate: “knock knock…”

YN: “i cant reach the zipper. Can you zip up my dress?”

Kate: “only if you help me. Can you help me with my tie?”

you nod.

YN: “deal. but who goes first?”

Kate: “come closer to me and turn around so i can do up the zipper.”

you turn around and move your hair out of habit. Kate’s hands move slowly along your back to the zipper but they trace every inch of your back before grasping the zipper.

YN: “can I ask you something?”

Kate: “of course.”

Yn: “did you have any contact with Bruce before he left that would indicate where he was going or why?”

Kate: “no but my cousin was strong willed, if he wanted to do something he most certainly did everything in his power to achieve whatever he was trying to do. Ugh the zipper is stuck, do not worry I have someone who is very eager to help in any way possible but while I Call her can you do my tie?”

Just as you turn around you hear the door open, Kate turns to defensive in front of you. Mary walks through the door.

Mary: “chill out sis it’s me!”

Kate: “thank God it’s you I hope you can help. Mary this is YN, YN this is My sister Mary. Mary can you fix YN’s zipper on her dress it is stuck even I couldn’t get it.”

Mary places her purse and her coat down and comes behind you. While you trace Kate’s form grasping hold of her tie. Mary goes to take a look at your zipper, she spends longer on the zipper then you do on kates tie.

You had this weird feeling, like she had a secret, like she was trying to tell you something and you werent quite picking up the signal.

Kate had one of her hands on your waist, she had every confidence that she had found her one in you. Course she had heard her cousin mention his fantastic secretary but she didnt think you would be this gorgeous. Mary after a while exclaims.

Mary: “i have an idea… stay right there dont move…”

mary left the room for a moment this left you and kate to further ponder your thougts. kate still had her hand on your waist, this sparked something within you that you had not felt in years.

Kate: “do you have anyone special in your life?”

YN: “ive been single every day for my entire life. cause before i left bruce and i shared secrets with eachother that we soon knew would go with us to our graves. kate, im a lesbian…”

Kate smiles and is about to speak when mary comes back into the room, she goes to the back of your dress and fiddles round for a few moments before standing straight and comes back to her bag and coat.

Mary: “all done i replaced the zipper pull, you will be fine ill fully replace the zipper before that dress is needed again. now both of you should go Luke will be here any moment. and im hitching a ride so hurry up both of you and finish getting reAdy.”

Kate and you finished getting ready, the sound of a car horn sounded. this pulled you and kate out of your own admirations and into a state of lets go present to the public.

you held kates hand this sent several shivers down your spine but in a good way. kate however knew what you felt but she knew she would have to tell you her secret after tonight if everything went her way.

kate: "so i hope that this isnt too forward but how do you think people at this party will react to seeing you at the party let alone back in gotham?"

yN: "dont worry bout it ill just exclaim that im back to stop running from the past. Exclaim that I can't and I shouldn't run forever! Even if I'm still scared."

kate: "what do you have to be scared of?"

yn: "my future, the company I worked for for so long went awol after lucius God rest his soul and now I return to meet the cousin of my former boss and the son of his best friend. Geez I'm overwhelmed!"

Kates hand on your own had you finding the strength to make it through the evening! Your only thoughts were of how how you and Kate looked.

Luke got out of the car and came round to open your door so kate and you as well as mary could exit the car. The press got one look at you beside kate and had a field day.

After pushing through the crowd, making it inside the gallary you realized that the security was tighter than usual.

YN: “when did security get beefed up?”

Kate: “since my father became the leader of a security company, they are called the Crows, they became a thing after Batman disappeared. lets avoid any and all contact with him while here, he wont entirely take kindly to me having a date at this gala.”

YN: “does he know that your...”

Kate: “yes he does but he doesnt entirely approve of it. but you know what screww what he thinks. im just happy to not be suffering this event alone.”

You smiled you knew that there was a small chance that kate had feelings for you as well. there was speeches, music, silent auction and dancing. this was what you and Kate spent some of your time doing. was dancing and placing tickets into the silent auctions.

You and Kate were standing by the bar during the next few speeches, doing a few shots and having several laughs.

Kate: "have you ever kissed a girl?"

YN: "not willingly... Poison ivy got me once but batman swooped in and saved me after I sucker punched him while he was trying to save me. But I guess kissed and put under a spell by a bad girl doesn't count."

Kate: "nope but it was a good try..."

before kate had a chance to finish er sentance her name was being called, this made both you and her turn toward the voice, this also made kate immediately chug the rest of her drink.

Jacob: "kate... didnt expect to see you here tonight."

kate: "thats cause i didnt mention that i was gonna be here. as i found out a few new things today but you dont need to know as long as you do what you do we can never be a proper family. trust me being gay is the best thing to ever happen to me. I swear I'm not gonna give up who I am just to make you proud of me. If you can't accept me for who I am then how are we supposed to be a family. "

Jacob: "Kate you made your choice years ago at the Acadamy you don't need to remind me that we are not and can never be a proper family. You and your lady friend enjoy the gala."

Jacob gives you the snake eye before walking away. You turn to Kate both of you now standing alot closer before. Then it was time for someone from Wayne tech to get up and speak.

You and Kate were the only ones who were able and willing to represent the company on the stage.

Kate: "Wayne tech was started by my aunt Martha and my uncle Thomas Wayne many many years ago. Then my cousin Bruce took over when he was old enough. 6 years ago my cousin disappeared, 3 years ago lucius fox was murdered, today I stand up here with YN who worked close along side lucius and Bruce for many years before Bruce disappeared. Under her leadership and the help of lucius fox's nephew Luke we have plans to reopen Wayne tech."

YN: "citizens of Gotham, what Kate says is true we have plans to reopen Wayne tech, we hope to bring good to our city, continuing on in the steps of my former boss and business partner Bruce, may he ever be remembered as we reopen and continue the business that was the foundation to Gothams Legacy for years before and will continue to be...”

before you could finish your speech the lights in the entire building went out. you and Kate stood close.

Kate: “stay close to me, this is not supposed to happen...”

a few moments later a single spotlight on the other side of the room reveals someone standing there...

Hush: “greetings gothamites, right now some of the crows are all standing on pressure plates that will explode the building if they move. so i want the little rat who is associated with Bruce wayne to come forth and face the punishment for trying to shine that light again.”

Kate and you make your way through the shadows and around the harmless civilians to a hidden panel in the wall. stepping inside this felt very familiar feeling of security.

Kate: “we all have our demons, some of our demons hide in the shadows, for this lunatic out there im one of his demons. YN you know Bruce’s secret now im trusting you with mine.”

YN; “ what are you talking about Kate i have to go out there and stand up to that monster and prove my worth.”

Kate: “and you will have your part to play in this but so will i...”

you watch as she emerges from shadws into some low lighting dressed as a bat...”

YN: “so you took after your cousin in that respect. i am so happy that you have trusted me with this secret. thank you for that.”

Kate: “all i want you to do is go out there and keep him talking distract him long enough for luke who can hear us right now to silently and remotely disarm the pressure plates. now go, ill be along shortly. i have to go a different way.”

you leave the hole in the wall, you walk out there and throw your voice from behind the people.

YN: “who are you and what the hell do you want with me?”

Hush: “why dont you come out and face me so i can see who you are!”

You go further and a spotlight shines on you.

Hush: "well well well, let's get this party started.. Starting with a pop quiz: in Wayne tech the last project that was announced to be in development was what?"

YN: "a new secure wing at arkham asylum."

Hush: "what made the plans for this project go off the rails?"

YN: "the disappearance of Bruce Wayne and the murder of lucius fox."

Hush: "and what project are you guys gonna start on with your start up?"

Yn: "why does it matter to you you dick? You are the one that is basically holding us for hostage... Now either release the innocent people and disarm the pressure plates or the gcpd will be crawling over this place in a matter of moments."

Hush: "now now little girl, you were Bruce Wayne's pet weren't you?"

YN: "I was his assistant and best friend."

Hush: "I knew him once, but he was much different then... I for one am glad he is gone, he was an arrogant ass..."

Kate came into view a few times, helping to set up the room so the people are safe, you keep ‘hush’ busy for a few moments. before you knew it all the innocents were in a safe location.

Hush approached you rapidly and began to get all up in your grill.

Hush: “why are you not afraid of me?”

YN: “cause ive seen things in my lifetime that would scare even a man with no heart such as yourself. so do your worse cause im counting on someone saving me very soon...”

Hush comes up and starts using his fingers to trace your body. that is when Kate decided it was time to make her presence known.

Batwoman: “hey ugly, take your hands off the lady...”

Hush turns to see Batwoman who you know is actually Kate standing behind him...

Hush: “why should i you silly little bat?”

Batwman: “cause in a number of moments the pressure plates will be disarmmed, the crows will be free and you will be going to arkham. now pick on someone your own size...”

Hush turned away from you immediately before turning to batwoman he chucked knives at her while you stood there and watched.. Kate caught your eye and winked, just like bruce used to do if he wanted to pull a reverse batarang catch combo.

Kate threw the batarang and it landed in your catch then with all your strength and force your threw that batarang at the back of hush’s head and he fell straight on his face.

batwoman: “alright commander the pressure plates have been disabled, make sure this animal sees justice. ill take the lady out of the building. have a good night commmander.”

kate comes up to you and grapples both of you out of the building. kate’s father called to make sure both of you were okay. you ended up at wayne tower with kate now she still is in costume.

Kate: “what fascination did my cousin have for bookcases...”

YN: “it is just his thing, back at wayne manor he had a bookcase a piano entrance and several other things, he finally choose the bookcase to make things easy for his quick escapes.”

Kate: "do you want to see the cave?"

YN: "I haven't been down there since before Bruce left... I would love to see it back up and running."

Kate's hand on your own leading you down into the cave made you smile as the stairwell seemed to get brighter like something glowing at the end of the tunnel.

Getting to the end of the tunnel there's a path lined with flame less tea lights.

Yn: "it's beautiful... I love these tea lights!"

Kate: "I have to be honest tonight I had a hard time keeping myself from letting my heart lead my actions. In the few short hours that I've known you, I've fallen in love with you. I had Luke and Mary set this up. As well as the bed in the center."

Kate says as she starts de suiting allowing you to roam around but mid way through de suiting her eyes couldn't leave your form.

Kate: "it took everything I had for will power not to make love to you right then and there and when we were dancing it took all my will power not to kiss you while dancing."

You turned to face Kate both of you facing eachother now.

Yn: "what's stopping you now?"

Mid way through de suiting Kate allowed her instincts to take over. she left her suit half off ran to you cupped your cheeks and kissed you. this was the kiss that felt like it had happened before, but of course it hadnt but it sure as hell felt amazing literally breath taking.

after 10 minutes both of you broke the kiss breathing heavily before kate spoke in heavy raspy breaths.

Kate (breathing heavily): “this might be more sexy if you help me finish getting out of my suit.”

YN (breathing heavily): “turn around and i will...”

Kate turns around, you place small seductive kisses trailing her neck, to her shoulder, down her spine earning small soft moans of approval from Kate. your hands moved to her wait and began to slide the suit from her waist down her legs you still leaving kisses ever couple seconds.

once the suit was off Kate threw it across the table in the corner, and took you closer to the bed as she started to use her hands once more to roam over your body, feeling every inch of it.

Kate: “you are still wearing far too much clothing... turn around time for me to help you get out of what you are wearing...”

YN: “i promise you that this is probably way less than you were wearing.”

Kate: “turn around for me..”

you turned around and smiled, kates hands on the back of your dress using the make shift pully for the zipper that mary had put on to undo the dress. but Kate kissed your neck earning soft moans from you.

Kate: “dont forget we are the future of wayne tech, and united we stand..”

YN: “you are so hot, i got all throat dryed and tongue tied when i first met you. i was shell shocked... but im damn well glad you were the one in the building.”

the fabric slid off your body on its own, all kate had to do was make sure you didnt trip over the dress. tossing that with the suit you are in the caressed embrace of Kate.

Kate: “so beautiful...”

you turn around lifting Kate’s tank top off her body. her hands making quick work to slide off her shorts. both of you now scooting onto the bed, Kate was on top of you quicker than you were fully laying down.

Kate: “now this is how love is supposed to be...”

Kate grinded her way onto you, pulling off 69 and just general pleasuring sensual acts. you both were screaming and moaning in pleasure.

Kate: “you know i dont think ive had this much passion in sex in a long time.”

YN: “i know what you mean and i am perfectly content staying right here for like ever...”

kate had been using a double strap on so it pleasured you both. she hadnt puled out or really stopped moving, you both were just laying in a way that you could have a conversation.

YN: “how did i get so lucky to end up with you?”

Kate: “no idea but it was probably the same thing that brought me to you. i love you...”

You cupped her cheeks making sure your noses were touching and that was how your night of perfect bliss continued with the strap on and the vigerous sexual positions and the oral sex you received from Kate.

After several hours of that you both fell asleep cuddled together in perfect harmony. Morning soon fell, the bat computer started its morning routine, the lights were still romantic.

In those moments things seemed simple, both of you had forgotten the horrific but wonderful time at the gala the night before.

Kate and you stirred at the same time, opening your eyes only to start grinding the strap on again, not alot of moving from where you were nor from under the covers.

You were still going at it moments later when Luke and Mary began to decend into the cave. Neither you nor Kate noticed as you were too pre occupied.

The bat computer spoke suddenly.

Computer: "sir Luke and lady Mary, madame Kate and mistress YN are still rolling in the sheets, they also just woke up shall I put up the protective shield?"

Mary: "yes please so we don't have to see anything.. But there is a question I have who installed those shield and why?"

Computer: "master Wayne did for his rendezvous with miss Kyle! Whenever they would happen. "

Luke: "did my father know? About Bruce and Selena?"

Computer: "oh yes everyone eventually knew cause they got engaged in secret. To show Gotham that Selina had truly changed her spots."

Luke and Mary were shocked they didnt think that someone would happen upon anything like that in the cave... though like they were about to see the shield would reveal as though nothing was on the other side of the wall...

Luke: "did bruce leave anything indicating where he was going or why he left?"

computer: "that information is classified except to those whose code names are on the inscription."

Mary: "is it safe to go down now?"

computer: "yes go on..."

meanwhile you and Kate were still engaged in the sensual arts. passion flowing gracefully from you both. neither of you noticing the shield nor hearing the voices from luke and mary, nor realizing that there was work to be done.

about an hour later you and kate were both finally satisfied. you both threw on the robes sitting near by and smiled happily walking out from behind the shield. only to be confronted with glares from Luke and Mary...

Luke: “glad you both could finally join us... oh by the way, great idea for starting wayne tech again that is a brilliant plan...”

Mary: “where are your formal wear so i can repair that zipper and whatever else needs on it...”

YN: “its on the couch over near the shield. just dont look back there it aint pretty.”

Kate smiled cause she could only imagine what kind of horrors they would see if they looked. 

Kate: “did you find anything on that Hush character from the gala last night?”

Luke: “sadly no but i can say that whoever he is is extremely hard to place. plus there is no mention of anyone named Hush in Bruce’s files anywhere.”

YN: “so he is someone new thats okay cause i am the one that took down Poison ivy, that was one of the only missions i ever did with bruce i had my own suit and everything. Bruce taught me everything he knew. but in those moments ivy had no idea that i was the same girl she had tried to force to kill Batman. then i turned around and clipped her with a batarang to the back of the head and brought her ass to arkham. it was a glorious day. it was also the same day that Bruce told me he was leaving. or well that he was preparing too. he told me for what was coming neither of us should be in the city. so when he left i grabbed what few belongings i had and i left gotham and had been in Star City till yesterday.”

Kate went to mary who handed Kate something which peaked your curiousity, but you werent gonna pry you knew when the time was right Kate would do what her heart commanded. 

~1 and a half years later... success had been accross yours and Kates features as you both were running sucessfully 3 businesses. the reopening of wayne tech had gone smoothly. then there was the real estate firm that Kate had been running before you got to gotham as well as a nightclub. a little excessive but its a welcome reprieve with a fully stocked bar. you and Kate were happily living in your penthouse together. you had left alot of it alone due to both of you missed Bruce and wanted him to be honored.~

Kate: “YN, did you put..”

YN: “top drawer in the middle cabinet, Kate did you...”

Kate: “its in your desk in the center drawer...”

you and Kate were functional working happy couple. this was to be the night of the wayne tech gala. you both had put one on as tghe grand reopening and now its a yearly thing. to showcase everything that is in development for the people of gotham. 

Kate: “can you believe that its already been almost 2 years...”

YN: “can you believe that i never thought i would have ever been working for wayne tech again.”

kate: “can you believe that you are the most beautiful woman at this party.”

YN: “your not so bad yourself.”

Kate smiled as she came up behind you to help you do up your dress. 

Kate: “do you think bruce would be proud of what we have done and are doing?”

YN: “i think whereever he is he is very proud of us... and even better he would be honored that we took this mantle and have upheld it for the good of the Wayne family legacy.”

thats when an intruder alert sounded. it was one of the silent alarms on the wayne manor property. 

YN: “we should go as ourselves not in costume.”

Kate: “ill call Mary and Luke and have them stall for time at the gala. we will be there in plenty of time. but your right as usual.”

YN: “good thing we travel to impress.”

Kate: “we also travel combat ready... i get now why you always have slits in your dresses. lets go.”

Kate and you got onto Kates bike and drove off towards the detection. ah yes wayne manor now declared sacred land and only for family, it was unusual that someone would dare to venture onto the property. 

upon arrival at the gate you and Kate parked and got off the bike leaving your helmets and hiding the valuables in the safe installed on the bike. 

Kate: “keep your eyes open something isnt right.”

YN: “dont worry whatever it is we will make sure to handle this.”

Kate smiles and keeps you close while walking further onto the property. you remembered the last time you had been here before bruce left and disappeared. 

Kate: “see anything yet?”

YN: “not yet... wait there is a light inside...”

you start running towards the house Kate follows in suit, you start going up the steps but stop as Kate comes up behind you and grabs your hand both of you walking up those stairs together.

Kate and you each opened one of the double doors, both of you walking inside the light seemingly brighter. you could hear rustling and creeking of floors. you and Kate wanted to charge in “guns” blazing but you were in civilian form not a good idea. 

you both stop outside the door to the room, you hear a familiar voice. no it cant be... 

Kate: “whoever that is, is going to be tried for trespassing...”

except you knew that voice... you knew who it was...

YN: “dont be rash babe, i recognize the voice.”

you open the door with Kate on your heels.

YN: “talia...”

the figure turns around and remves her hood.

Talia: “its been a long time YN. how have you been?”

YN: “to be fair its been a gong show... what with having just come back to gotham last night after being in star city for the last several years.”

Talia: “i guess it has been a long long time. whose your friend?”

Kate holds her hand towards talia and stands tall beside you.

Kate: “kate kane, im Bruce’s cousin. im as of 1 and a half years ago  YN’s  girlfriend.”

Talia shakes kates hand. 

YN: “what are you doing here talia?”

Talia: “i mean no disrespect but something seemed wrong about Bruce disappearing. something felt wrong and if i can find out why it felt wrong then i can find out where Bruce disappeared to.”

YN: “keep us informed, we have an expo to get too.. we are so late...”

Kate: “if you wish there will be a ticket for you at the door Talia. it was very nice to meet you.”

Talia: “as it was to meet you Kate.”

You and Kate leave Talia to what she was doing and head back to the bike. Tears fell from your eyes thinking about Bruce and how proud he would be of both you and Kate.

Kate: "thinking about Bruce?"

YN: "I just wish he were here to see what we have accomplished. But let's get to the expo and reveal the plans for the developments that we have come up with."

Kate hands you your helmet before hse puts hers on as you both get back on the bike and head to the expo. Parking in the parking garage you make the notion that you both got dirt on your outfits.

Kate: "shit Mary is gonna kill us... She might have planned for something like this... Hold on let me..."

before kate could call Mary, mary rang Kate’s cell...

Kate: “Mary thank god its you listen YN and i had a little run in with some dirt both our outfits are no longer presentable do you have any spare outfits.”

Mary yells at luke and then speaks a moment.

mary: “meet me in the washrooms in the lobby... i will have them there shortly..”

you and Kate sneak your way through the corridors and head into the lobby washrooms. anxiously awaiting Mary’s arrival with your replacement outfits, you made sure that you kept a level head. 

Kate: “you look a little tense love...”

YN: “i wanted this night to go smoooth and now we have to do a costume change only a few short moments before we have to be on stage for the toasts. this is not how this night was supposed to go...”

Kate: “not to worry, there is still plenty of time for things to go right.”

Mary walks in a while later, you look at Kate with anticipation for the way that you were hoping this night would go was not what it seemed. 

Mary: okay whose first for their outfit change... 

Kate: just give me the outfits Mary, you and Luke need to make sure no one comes in here for a few moments while we get changed... once we are changed ill knock on the door and you and come and collect the outfits. 

Mary: that sounds do-able. just both of you hurry up people are asking for you, important people. 

you and Kate were not sure who could be out there but you both were certain that this night was gonna be a rocking good time. 

getting into your clean outfits you both realize that you both are wearing your costume colors. Kate knocks on the door once you both are presentable, mary walks in.

Mary: you both look spectacular!

Kate: ya in our costume colors what is going on?

Mary: luke developed a microchip to change anything into your costumes its like a portable solution. but these are just incase of any ruckass. which we are hoping there wont be but just in case here they are. 

Kate: what if we just want to be normal for one night?

Mary reaches into the neckline of Kates shirt and your bra line on your dress and pulls out the microchips. 

Mary: if you both change your minds i have the chips now go  you both are due for your speech in a few moments. 

you and kate go out of the washroom, arriving in the ballroom to be greeted by dignitaries and just in time to be called up on stage. politely excusing yourselves you both walk up on stage. 

Kate: whats up gotham city. thank you all so much for coming out tonight. this year so far is really big and productive for the company. i cant believe its been almost 2 years since me and YN brought wayne tech back to life. if bruce wayne were here today, to see what we have done he would be very proud of everything we are doing to keep this legacy alive. the silent auction will run all night the winner will be contacted by telephone and by email. the prizes will be availble for drop off or pick up at wayne tech. now i am gonna turn the mic over to my business partner and girlfriend YN.

YN: thanks kate, so as you all have seen around the room are some of the plans to refurbish some of the wings at arkham as well as build a secure wing for those more deadly super criminals. our goal is to create a more secure enviroment as well as give the orderlies more space for any other crazies that may pop up or have to go to arkham thanks to the donations of you Gotham we almost have the funds to start the arkham asylum expansion project. 

Kate: before we sign off for the evening i have something i would like to do. bare with me i have not put alot of thought into this but here it goes. 

Kate turns to you taking your hand in her own.

Kate: Yn you and i have taken Wayne tech and brought it back from the dust and shadows like a phoenix in rebirth but tonight as we boht stand before all of gotham i have a question for you, this night at this gala i want to know. Will you YN marry me?

she then got down on one knee and held a ring box to you open to a rose gold entwined celtic knot band with a emerald cut stone in the center. your face went pretty fast from shock to a face of happy complete utter joy. 

YN: yes!

was all you managed to squeak out.  kate placed the ring on your finger and kissed you before holding both your hands up for the press to see the gripped shot of the engagement ring. 

you were not sure what else would come out of your mouth. thats when luke stepped onto the stage with mary. both of them bringing you and kate some champagne. 

mary: waiters are coming around with champagne will you all please join me in raising a toast to YN and Kate  the best people for the right jobs at the right moments. we are honored to be in your debt. to YN and Kate. 

the toast made, the congratulations flowed in, the press all over your engagement. even the crows offered congratulations. 

~what happens now is a different story for a different time~

[ajokeformur-ray]

✨ Unfiltered Joker thoughts ✨

I watched Joker with a bunch of lovely clowns on my Discord and while they werewolf’d in the chat, I typed out my thoughts here as they came to me. These are unedited, unfiltered, and exactly as they were in my head. I don’t know who’d be interested in this but 🤷‍♀️ who doesn’t love unfiltered thoughts about our man? NSFW ahead in places, lmao and some self-ship elements because it’s always on my mind.

There are Controversial Things within, I’m sure - be nice about it if you wanna comment, or unfollow/block etc. if it bothers you I won’t take it personally. I will take it personally if I’m sent a rude message, though. Fair warning. You curate your own online experience so scroll past silently if you gotta!🥰🥰🥰🥰

Tagging @arthurflecc @jokerownsmysoul @daincrediblegg @sweet-nothings04 bc they were in the chat and missed me there!! 

 Word count: 4, 597.

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJO -

*Presses play*

OMG THERE HE IS BABYYYYYYYY ~ 

Ugh that white shirt... 🥵

“paint me like one of your french girls” 👀

oh, honey, no. 

Don’t force yourself to smile, my love, it’s okay. you can be hurting.

sweet angel who can do no wrong asdfghjkl

wanna kiss that tear away...

CARNIVALCARNIVAL CARNIVAL *STARTS SWAYING IN MY SEAT*

jaunty piano to juxtapose his shitty mood

you spin me right round, baby, right round...

ohhh, baby 🥺🥺🥺

someone’s honky lmaoooooo ~ 

that cello

Ohhhh, darling man.... i’m so sorry. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry

WOOPS CRYINGGGG ~

sweet angel love still tryna be funy with the flower squirting...

what else will squirt tonight???👀

ohhh, darling. deep breaths baby. it’s okay. you’re okay.

CRYINGGGGG

ohhhh baby boyyyy....

legit just cooed aloud

oh angel <3 

“is it just me or is it getting crazier out there?”

it is my love... it is. 

let me sit on your lap and still the shaking of your legs

ohhhh my love. you’re okay. just breathe.

Dr. Kane was doing her best but you’re beyond what she can handle

you deserve better, sweetheart.

my love, my life.

I JUMPED WHEN HE HIT HIS HEAD IN ARKHAM

“who knows?”

yeah me too, my love. me too. 

“i just dont wanna feel so bad anymore”

oh baby.

i know, my love. i wish i could hold your hand and stroke your hair and kiss your cheeks 🥺🥺🥺

had a shitty day but wants to comfort a child on the bus. thats my manssss ~ <3 <3 <3 

okay but his peekaboo makes me giggle please do that to me when im sad

“‘cuse you bitch?”

the greasepaint still on his face is endearing omg 

GIVE HIM BACK HIS CARD OR IMMA RIOTTTT

CRYINGGGGG 

ohhhh baby. no. deep breaths. i’m here, my love. not going anywhere

those fucking steps

me too, darling. i feel your exhaustion like it’s my own and i long to take it from you without changing a single thing about you.

my love, my life

the weariness of an unchanged routine is a paralysing one

wanna rub cream on your bruises

“yeah, mum” so soft im cry

“eat. you need to eat” i hear you in my head when i wanna skip meals and it helps me.

“oh yeah? who do you talk to?” YES SASS HER

“yay murray” ohhhhh angel you’re so cute I’m cry 🥺

murray you wankstain - old and crusty 🤮🤢🤮🤢

arthur’s laugh in his daydream 🥺🥺

“i love you murray” // “you’re awful murray” baby noooooo

“theres something special about you arthur” the only real thing murrat ever fuckin said AND IT WASNT EVEN A REAL THING IT WAS IN HIS HEAD

“I TAKE GOOD CARE OF MY MOTHER” YEEEES BABY YOU DO! SO PROUD OF YOU!!!

just wantin recognition in your daydreams bc you dont get it in your real life

YOU SWEET THING

HIS SWEET SMILE AND THE CELLO OH BABY 🥺😭

YOUR BACK 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

shoes are too tight so you gotta stretch em 

can you stretch me too???👀🥵💦���

“chuckletown” RANDALLS LEGACY AND WE TURNED IT INTO SMTHN LOVING AND NOT SARKY LIKE HE INTENDED LMAO FUCK YOU RANDALL YOU PIECE OF SHIIIIIIIIT

arthur’s hair in the sun omg like a halo

randall fuck off fucking fuck off go aWAY LEAVE MY ARTHUR ALONE

you asswipe

arthurs shy and nervous lil giggle omg baby say no give the gun back its not well intended 

“my boy”  AHA LMAO HE DOES PAY YOU BACK BUT NOT HOW YOU EXPECT LMAOOOO YOU GET WHAT YOU DESERVE

THOSE CURLS

arthur’s sweet little lilting voice in front of his boss omggggg ~ 

HOYYYYYYT 

his logic makes no sense wtffffff ~ 

RETAIL SMILE LMAO THATS A MOOD 

brewing insanity..... 

POUND ME LIKE THOSE TRASH BAGS

RUIN ME AND THEN REBUILD ME IN YOUR IMAGE 

those mf stairs again

it’s the same old team since 1916... in your head, in your head...

never in my LIFE have i been aroused by a FOOT

lmao only Arthur istg that man is the exception to my every rule

Gigi is so CUTE 🥺

THAT SMIRK SIR CAN YOU NOT

“hey” omggg look at you tryna connect ugh so proud of youuu ~ 

the moon is a silver dollar... 

THOSE CURLS

THOSE BARE FEET

THAT SOFT VOICE

ARTHURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR 

frances conroy is a goddess omg i love herrrr ~ 

espesh on ahs she’s a queen

but i digress lmao wrong fandom

“dont you have to be funny to be a comedian”

FUCK OFF PENNY 

FUCK RIGHT OFF THEN FUCK OFF SOME MORE PLEASE

slap that bass.... 

FINGERSSS ON THE GUN ASDFGHJ PUT THEM ON ME INSTEADDDD

zoom zoom the world is in a mess

LMAO YEP

“psh” omg you sweet angel asdfghjk

THAT EYEBROW RAISE ASDFGHJK SASSY KINGGGGG

GET ITTTTTT

UGH THAT BODY WANNA COVER IT IN MARKS OF LOVE TO REPLACE THE VIOLENT MARKS

ARTHUR @ HIMSELF “YOURE A GOOD DANCER // I KNOW”

omggggg sweet clumsy babyyyy

lmaooo “old war movie” do you tell penny that when we get caught having sex on the sofa????

arthur honey following sophie isn’t.... the best way to get her attention asdfghjk 

someone needs to teach you social interactions... 

I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTTTTTE

that student/teacher roleplay comedian at pogos makes no sense to me???? i dont get his jokes at all

lmao bad comediannnnnn

arthur’s cute lil mistimed giggles ksksksksk 

wanna kiss your cheeks every timmmme 

you’re working so hard to achieve your goals im so so proud of you

ambidextroussss ~ (just like me omg we’re perfect for each otherrrrr)

“people expect you to behave as if you dont” YOU INTELLIGENT LIL SHIT OMG I LOVE YOU AND YOUR MIND

you know its a daydream if arthurs wearing a shirt at home 

his shy “yeah” omggggg ~ angelllll 

“i have a gun i can come by tomorrow” LMAOOOOOOOO 

“youre so funny arthur” YES HE IS DREAM!SOPHIE

CARNIVAL CARNIVAL CARNIVAL

I ACTUALLY STOMP MY FEET HERE BC IM HAPPY FOR THE TIME HES ON SCREEN SWEET CLOWN 

THE ONLY ONE IM NOT AFRAID OF

HES SO SO HAPPY OMGGG

BABY BOYYYY IN HIS ELEMENT

SAD THO BC KIDS ARE TERMINALLY ILL 

bestest party clownnnn 

“I love this job” oh baby 🥺🥺

aaaaaaaaand now the betrayal from randall lmao fuck that dude

NO BB YOUR FOREHEAD NO SMASHY GLASSY

LMAO THE FUCK ERIKA???

dudes 35 not a kid 

throwing greasy chips into a girl’s hair isn’t how to flirt my dude lmao you’re gross??? 

ew

EW EW EW WIGGLE YOUR CHIPS ELSEWHERE

ohhhh arthur, honey no omg breathe it’s okay

you wanna help but you dont know how

you sweet thing 

send in the clowwwwwwwwwwwwwwns ~ 

IM CRYINGGGGG

“they couldnt carry a tune to save their lives”

JOEKR ITS NOT YOUR TIME YET GO AWAYYYY

lmao jokes stay you know im lost without you 

HOW CAN YOUR HAIR LOOK SO GOOD AFTER BEING UNDER A WIG ALL DAY ?????

carnival with arthur’s hair is just 👌👌👌👌

WHERES HIS CARDDDDD 

nooooooo omg baby no omg i wish i could take all those punches for you

i’d take it all in a heartbeat to save you

gritting his teeth not taking in anymore

YES BABY GET EEEEEEM

YES YES YES YES STAND UP FOR YOURSELF SO PROUD OF YOU

first 2 self defence, 3rd one unsure lmao but fuck it 

no PUT THE GUN AWAY FROM YOUR FACE BABY ITS OKAY DONT FORGET YOUR BAG OR YOUR WIG ITS EVIDENCE

KILL THE 3RD COVER YOUR TRACKS

GOOD BOYYYYYY

carnival with blood on face = killing your insecurities

8 bullets from a 6 chamber????? mm-hm lmao i know @daincrediblegg wrote a thing on this once lmao bestest Egg is smart and i love her muchly 🥰🥰🥰🥰

run baby run, dont ever look backkk... (check yes juliet)

BATHROOM SCENE BATHROOM SCENE BATHROOM SCENE

fuck me against that dirty counter

joker’s waking uuuuuuuup....

that cello though unffff 👌

got me clenchinnnnn you fluidddd ~ 

and in his eyes, all the sadness of the world. those pleading eyes that both threaten and adore (phantom of the opera)

my brain is 90% song lyrics 

hes so graceful and ethereal so full of pain and of love and of adventure and worth and need and yearning

my sweet boy

my wonderful angel

my fallen angel

T POSEEEEE

DAYDREAM KISSSSS

ugh push me against the wall and shove your hand down my panties and take whats yours 

please and thanks

so confident

so smooth

so sure

unf

take me angel im all yours 

and my name is carnival

SASSY BOYYYYY

I SAY BOY BUT YOURE A MAN LMAO 

YESSSSSS TELL THEMMMMMMMM 

LMAOOOOOO RANDALL SEEMS LEGIT CONFUSED PFFFT

TOUGH SHIIIIIIIT

LMAOOO PUNCH OUT

BUSTING A LUNNGGGGG

HE DOESNT KNOW HIS OWN STRENGTH

OR HIS OWN LIMITS

“DONT SMILE”

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

nothin worse than being told to smile when you really wanna bare your teeth and let rip

aka me every fuckin minute of my life 

SHUSH ME SHUSH ME SHUSH ME

ILL CRY BUT DO IT

LMAOOOOO CHOKE ME WITH THOSE BICEPS 

ILL GO OUT DOIN WHAT I LOVE

YOUUUUUUU 

“gotham’s lost its way” ok trump

“thats not funny” SHUT UP PENNY YES IT IS

STOP SMOTHERING ARTHUR LET HIM BE FREE

“nobody ever saw me. even i didnt know if i really existed”

and

“you dont listen do you”

BOTH ARE MOODS

i feel them so hard

hes so sure of himself in this session

so angry and done and weary

“people are starting to notice” ALMOST A YEAR OF YOU BEING NOTICED

that green jumper omggg 

good luck getting me out of it pfffft 

“erika have you seen my - oh, there it is. never mind.”

want it back???? payment is kissessss

EW SEXIST COMEDIAN

arthur honey stop primping youre perfect <3 <3 <3 

im so so proud of youuuuu

COLLARBONEEEEEES

OMG HE STUMBLES UP THE STEPS DARLINGGG

I wish i could hold your hand while youre on stage and comfort you while you deliver your jokes

just breathe, darling. it’s okay. i’m here, i promise. <3 

every time you gag on your laughter my heart clenches

CRYINGGGGG

oh, my love, it’s okay. just breathe. dont fight it. dont fight yourself 

you’re so good at imitating your ma pfffft 

lmaoooo you’re so funny arthur 

WOO BOI DONT FLASH YOUR PORN PAGES AT THE AUDIENCE 

givin me ideas.... 

SMILE THOUGH YOUR HEART IS ACHING

SMILE EVEN THOUGH IT’S BREAKING 

WHEN THERE ARE CLOUDS IN THE SKY

YOU’LL GET BY

SMILE THROUGH YOUR FEAR AND SORROW

SMILE

AND MAYBE TOMORROW

YOULL SEE THE SUN COME SHINING THROUGH

arthur is my sunshine

EXCUSE ME HEART EYES OMGGGG

ME AND ARTHUR HEART EYESING AT EACH OTHER PFFFFFT 

gonna put people off their food doin that 

thats life

arthur’s imitations and those soft curls and the dancing and the - 

erika.exe has stopped working 

“come on dance with me”

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

i prefer the horizontal dance myself...

“big date”

“deliver the letter”

NARCISSISM 

ARTHUR YOU DESERVE BETTERRRRRRRRRR

IS IT BAD HIS EYEBROWS TURN ME ON?? SO THICK AND DARK AND STRONG I - 

and those eyes

ugh fuck meeee ~ 

yes thats an invitation

penny “needs care” but her handwriting is that neat???? yeah fuck off 

sorry i dont buy it

she was grooming him i think into some kinda husband role and its fucking gross as fuck she was abusing him and he just wanted her gone 

CUTE LIL NOSTRIL FLARES BC SAD AND ANGRY

OMG

his quiet anger scares me but i admire how he calmed down so fast

angry penguinnnnn

HE CARRIES HIS CLOWN NOSE AROUND IN HIS POCKET

CUUUUUUUTE

the similar clothing colours of arthur and bruce is v def intentional 

in another life, arthur....

i’m so sorry darling you deserved and deserve so much better

legit one small change in anything coulda prevented 80% of this film

your magic tricks are gorgeous ~ 

you’re so funny and soothing and comforting and so good with kids

you are the best party clown

I GASPED AT THE FLOWERS

like my server nameee ~ 

“hi” that soft noise 🥺

arthur’s hands on those bars omg 🥵🥵🥵

okay i’ll admit i still dont get the whole arthur/thomas thing lmao is he his dad???? ive seen this film 10000000 x and i still can’t decide.

i wanna say he is but like ??? idk ??

it’s tragic either way omg arthur’s wasted in gotham

ruuuun arthur run run runnnnnnnn 

the bg music isss 👌👌👌👌

arthur accidentally caused penny’s stroke bc med w/drawal but all that abuse, like ????? i get why he kept her sedated lmao i’d want her knocked out or smthn too

7 meds between the two of them, probably.... that might be why he wanted an increase???

you gotta lie, angel.

you’re in way over your head but lie

yeeees good boy!!

“a clown thing?“ lmaoooo tell them!!!

NO ITS EXIT ONLY

KINDA LIKE MY ASS LMAO NO ANAL FOR YOU 

he just wants love and comfort and for someone to stay omg you sweet thing 

you deserve the world and all the forehead kisses 

TURN THE TV OFF

TURN IT OFF

TURN IT - 

OH TOO LATE

arthurrrrr ~ 

its like a car crash lmao you know its coming but you cant stop looking

fuck off murrat

FUCK OFF SOME MORE

oooooooh thats a danger face....

lowkey want it between my thighs lmao use me to work out your frustrations i can take it 

“kill the rich” lmao relatable 

this film revealed to me that i have a flexible morality ksksksk im all for it though 

sleepy bb ~ 

“we are all clowns” ALSO RELATABLE

🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

arthurs thriving in the crowd omg yes baby looks so happy

flashes of joker comin throughhh... 

sneaky baby...

quick on his feet, light on his sense... 

tread lightly on my ground, (abba; andante)

THE RED THEATRE SUIT OMG FORESHADOWWWW

he looks good in red

he looks good out of red too 👀👀

that is the smile of the world’s most precious angel omg babyyyy ~ 

he makes me smile omg hes my sunshine

my love my life 

you saved my soul do you know that??? do you feel me and how much i love you? do you see me and these tears? 

do you feel me like i feel you?

ohhhhh boy here we go asdfdgfhgjhk arthur going to meet his dad, only asking for love and instead he gets punched in the face

i mean i get it bc of what arthur did to bruce with the whole hands in the mouth thing but bruce is barely mentioned, like an afterthought?

thomas has a nasty temper i wouldnt want him for a dad

thomas legit only mentions bruce after he’s punched arthur its like his only thought is really protecting himself and his rep with the whole penny thing

his son comes after; legit as he’s walking away he mentions bruce so hes obvs not that concerned????

shitty dad award lmao

not that what arthur did is okay im not excusing his admittedly misguided and lowkey creepy actions but like ????

lmao prob gonna get hate for this ^^ like i did last time i mentioned it but i dont care im allowed an opinion

too tired to care rn anyways pfffft its storming so bad outside and my wifi has dipped idk if this’ll save

c’mon wifi, for me... 

yes

arthur didnt have an attack til he got called crazy, its a trigger word for him 😭

oh baby its okay, deep breaths.

dont fight your laughter, that’ll make it worse 

the way he bounces back from that punch though - you know how to take it, dont you, my love?

you sweet thing.

i wish i could get you out of that fridge omg baby those old ones lock - how did you get out ????

meds are wearing off now.....

darling say no to the show lmao you dont wanna go

*facepalm*

every time i watch this i hope it turns out different

it never does

arthur honey dont ask questions you dont want the answers to

that clerk was protecting you not letting you see the file

that clerk and gary were the only ones nice to you

but it wasnt enough

you needed love and support and help and guidance 

and instead you got literal and metaphorical punches and no break

the hand puppet omgggg ~ 

i want him to play peekaboo with me when im sad/upset/make a hand puppet over my shoulder aszdxfcghvjbkn

ohhhhhh darling stop reading stop reading stop reading

put it down. 

this entire scene is confusing and heartbreaking

ive seen this film 10000000 x and im still not sure i fully understand

his laughing is so much like sobbing here

omg moonshine its okay you can cry. let it all out. 

newspaper clips in a real file???? mmmm - unprofessional or arthur’s manifestation of news??

🤔

we love pathetic fallacy in this house

i wanna get you in the shower and wash you down and feed you and wrap you in my warm embrace “i had a bad day”

my dark angel, it’s okay. i’m here. i love you and im staying with you no matter what

sophie was his last hope, his last chance to reconnect

again im not excusing it lmao but im saying i understand him

hes touching everything to experience it for the first time

he knows shes a daydream

hes self-aware but he needs his coping mechanisms

we all do it

not the breaking in, i mean the daydreaming 

“i had a bad day” shatters my black, shrivelled heart ���💔💔💔💔💔

ohhh, darling.

istg you’re the only person i ever fucking coo at 

finger-guns = reconnecting = remember me see me

but i guess to sophie it came across as ominous/creepy??

poor arthur trying so hard to reconnect to people and he just cant do it he doesnt have the social know-how bc no one bothered to ever teach him

again im not saying its okay im just saying

lmao i hate how i always feel like i have to justify myself even before thats called into question pffft the internet is cruel and prev times ive voiced myself ive been sent rude messages and once bitten twice shy

the sword forgets but the tree remembers

hes sobbign and laughing and its gut-wrenching

that neighbour yelling “shut up” better catch these hands imma square up

have some compassion dickwad

you never know what someones going through so be kind

always always be kind

^^^ film takeaway right there

if looks could kill penny would be 6 feet under

OH WAIT LMAOOOO 😂😂😂😂😂😂

in killing her he sets himself free. but the trauma and the damage done to him leaves him open to more of the same bc hes so vulnerable

that heart-rate monitor went quiet so quickly did he tune it out????

OMG THE WAY HE REHEARSES FOR THE SHOW YOU SWEET MAN OMG YOU DESERVE THE WORLD

sir thats my seat lmao my throne of red

“yeah? all of you? okay” 🤡🤡🤡

us lining up to fuck him into next week 😂

THATS LIFEEEEE ~ 

the fuck kinda hair dye you usin’???

CHOKE ME W THOSE BICEPS

DANCIN TOGETHER IN THE BATHROOM

THOSE HIPS DONT LIEEEEE 👀👀

scissors = pre-med murder but triggered by “my boy” - term used by abusers. 

poor angel’s triggered by lots of things, i think. theres no telling what triggers his violence and thats what makes him dangerous

could be anything and theres also no telling what his “you wronged me” scale is so ??? 

he’s like a kicked dog... lashes out when hes had so much and wont/cant take anymore

“COMING” yeaaaaah i bet....👀

“i stopped taking my medication and i feel a lot better now” GET OUT GET OUT THATS A RED FLAG OUUUUUUUUUUT YOU GO

OOOOOH JOKER’S LAUGH IS OUT - HES MOCKING YOUUUU AND YOU DONT EVEN KNOW IT BOY’S SMARTICLES

this is why arthurs so dangerous. he looks lithe and weak and fragile but he takes down a man twice his size with scissors in one hit

do not underestimate him it’ll be the last thing you ever do

I WANNA LICK THE BLOOD OFF HIS FACE

BRITISH ACCENT ON POINT 

LMAO he’d so mock me for mine 😂

“you were the only one who was ever really nice to me” a moral codeeee; flexible morality like meeee ~ 

okay but he so made gary jump bc he knew gary was too scared to move otherwise

loooooving the gallows humour with the door lock PFFFT

gotham slept on arthur dude’s hilarious

OH OMH OMG OMGOMOMGOMGOMGOMGOKMG JOKER JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MY LOVE MY LIFE MY CLOWN MY HUSBAND OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

IM CRYINGGGGGGGG

JOKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER

I CANT BREATHE FUCK OMFFFFF LOOK AT HIIIIIIM

LOOOOOOOOOK LOOK LOOK ASZDXFCGVHJBKLKJHGFDSZDXFGHJHKJLKJHGFD

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

MY LOVE MY LIFE MY JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKER

JOKERJOKERJOKER

LMAO HE’D BE GIGGLING AT ME RIGHT NOW OMGGGG

lmao let randall rot there fuck hiiiiiiim (and not in the fun way)

i want Joker to touch my clit like he did the lift button 👀

ohhhhh look at you having fun on the stairrrs

happy babyyyy ~ 

dancing  towards what you believe to be your death

so glad you changed your punchline at the last minute you didnt deserve to die

SWEET FLAWLESS ANGEL I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

his “oh” when the cops come lmaooooo ~ 

he does that when you grind down hard on him...👀

so used to pain he gets up from being hit by a car and carries on 😔

run baby run...

hes so agile and so quick on his feet

thinks fast too

arthur for fuck’s sake dont you dare stop

you’re almost there, my love.

im so so proud of you

SASSY DANCING ANGELLLL

i love that smug smirk he has and that chuckle omg lmaooooo ~ 

i’d do anything to see you look at me with such pride

ooof you look so angry in the subway but i’d happily cup your face in my hands and smother you in kisses

your eyes red rimmed with tears. youve been sweating and crying ohhhh ~ 

my love omg you didnt want this, you didnt want the riots and you dont know how it spun so outta control and you didnt choose this

i so desperately want to be with you right now

“i dont believe in anything” THATS OKAY I DIDNT NEED MY HEART ANYWAY

I MEAN ITS ALREADY YOURS BUT YOURE STANDING ON IT OUCH

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

“mm-hm” i love that little noise

“i love dr sally” BITCH YOU HAVE A WIFE AT HOMEEEE

“THATS WHAT YOU CALLED ME ON THE SHOW. A JOKER. DO YOU REMEMBER?” THATS SUCH A DANGEROUS LOOK ON HIS PERFECT FACE LMAO MURRAY HAD ONE CHANCE TO CHANGE HIS MIND AND APOLOGISE AND HE DIDNT EVEN KNOW IT LMAO

fuck ‘em, Joker.

You deserve better

GET

THAT

FUCKING

GUN

AWAY

FROM

YOUR 

FACE

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

all that pain in his eyes....

oh, darling. how did no one see you????

his backstage dancing got me 💦💦💦

hes so ethereal and mysterious, so free yet so constrained, so beautiful and so himself

i love him i love him i love him i love him

smile playing as he comes out on stage lmao even now hes being told what to do and how to act

hes never free

spinny baby

you spin me right round...

he suits the stage so well

lmao woop sexual assault (kissing dr sally without consent) isnt a good move Joker but damn what a first kiss...

never thought i’d be jealous of an elderly woman but here we are 🤡

he looks so good under the lights omg so crisp....

wanna mess and smear it uuuuup

~

you’re all being mocked and none of you fucking know it lmao get wrecked

memory problems bcof the notebook + “get it right” - he really cares

ohhhhhh baby come on change your punchline, come on....

okay but that drunk driver joke does make me giggle lmao it’s so out there and honestly my sense of humour is just as dark as his is

i just sHIVERED 🥵

“arthur” HE SAID CALL HIM JOKER DONT BE RUDE

ohhhhh i’m cryingggg 😭😭😭😭😭😭

i cant watch this without crying ohhhh all that pain, all that suffering and all that anger, confusion and betrayal. a mental breakdown on nat tv and no one sees him. how the fuck are you all so blind?????

“mur-rray” LMAO YOU FUCK MY NAME I FUCK YOURS

SAY IT JOKER IM SO SO PROUD OF YOUUU

hes speaking facts

“they couldnt carry a tune to save their lives” and that eye roll and groan yes we stan a dramatic CLOWN

this is fucking heartbreaking omg “i dont care about anything” but then he rants in the next minute - so unpredictable and dangerous and untamed but so so pretty in his pain so beautiful and so free

but hes not free... not really

“werewolf” as a verb omg only you could make that work

im so fucking proud of you

“youre awful murray” ooooooooh....

LMAO JOKER’S JOKE BLEW MURRAT’S MIND

hes crying and shaking and no one ??? sees him ???? how????

i legit dont understand how people just dont see him? people see what they wanna see but it’s right there???

he seems almost surprised by the fact he killed him

YES GRAB MY FACE LIKE YOU DID THE CAMERA PLEASE

IN THE WHITE ROOOOOOOOOM

UGH I LOVE THIS SONG SO FUCKING MUCH ITS SUCH A FEEL GOOD SONG

GOTHAM IS SO PRETTY WHEN ITS ON FIRE OMG ITS SO ALIVE

I LOVE THE ENERGY THIS SCENE GIVES OFF

ITS LIKE HOW JOKER HIMSELF MAKES ME FEEL

ALIVE

his little “hi” like they can hear him 🥺🥺🥺🥺

his laughter omggg sweet angelllllll ~ 

“i know. isn’t it beautiful?” YES IT IIIIIS

AND SO ARE YOU

OH NO OMG NO NO NOPEEEE

this scene always scares me even though i know hes okay pffffft 

the birth of joker lmao

be careful with him please hes precious cargo

omggg i wanna sit on that car and wipe his blood away and help him to get home so i can patch him up

lmao im a scaredy cat til my loved ones are threatened then i scare up this fawn bites

i wanna help Joker to get help and support

i wanna love him through it all, the good and the bad

his slow dancing always gets me omg it’s arthur, still there, still suffering, still unseen and unloved

hes crying and hes in pain

blood smile - my inside is on the outside now and it still hurts

he didnt want any of this. he chose his name ubt not what came with it

my poor clown...... 

CRYINGGGGGG AGAIN

HIS GENUINE LAUGHTER SENDS ME OMG ITS SO PRETTY

i wanna make him laugh like that

it always makes me smile omg those cute lil hiccups 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

THATS LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE

i love the audio muted during the scene he sings it omgg it’s so prettyyyy ~ i like to pretend hes singing to me sometimes asdfghjk

metaphorical or literal blood???

hes accepted who he is now.

hes free

dancing in the white light like an angel

i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love hiiiiiiiiiim ~ 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

~ THE END ~

[of-faunsandyellowflowers]

Tw: long fucking post.

Sorry to keep bringing up autism but

Man..... and you dont have to read this. That's fine. I dont have anyone in my life to talk to about this so, tumblr is my space to vent 🤷‍♀️

I know I've lived with this since I was a kid, but just reading more, learning more....I finally understand why I do things the way I do. Newly diagnosed autism reaaallllyyyy was like an aha moment for me lol. And it's not just my PTSD, anxiety or anything like that...its just how my brain is. I'm starting to realize when stuff happens and why....

Yesterday, I was doing ok. I went to the store (I have a routine of going nearly at the exact same time every day) because I needed some groceries. Some days I have to have headphones because of loud noise. I hate going into regular check out lanes cuz I dont like when ppl ask me stuff. I freeze. Sometimes I'll make an odd comment that the cashier will just find odd.

Anyway, I got home and all of a sudden everything was just brighter than it usually is, louder than it usually is and nothing could block it out. I was really itchy, and could barely move. I've already got a hard time even attempting to tune shit out, I HEAR everything, SMELL everything....etc. But, when you get into meltdown mode....everything is worse.

Then I couldn't talk. My dad kept saying something to me, and I tried to open my mouth to speak but I couldnt. I put my headphones on because if I have music playing normally I can somewhat calm down and cant hear anything else but that...and it's nice to only hear one thing. This happens so often and what I once thought was just a panic attack....its not. My panic attacks arent like that.

I went upstairs....and that's when my normal 'coping' kicked in. I've just learned that my habits of 'comfort' are in fact stimming.

The things I tend to do mostly without noticing I'm doing it, some more so with meltdowns:

Blink rapidly

Twitch my nose rapidly

Move my foot up and down like I'm rocking my knee

Pick out my hair in search for these little curly hairs that grow on my head obsessively

Feel the softness of my foot from my other foot and repeatedly petting my foot with my other foot

Pet soft things

Pace. Alot.

Sway. Rock back and forth. Especially in lines.

Color by number books.....I get obsessed over them

Twiddle my thumbs, fingers,

Obsessively scratch parts of my skin

Staring, especially at walls while rocking

Biting the skin around my fingernails, or clipping the skin with fingernail clippers

Repeatedly cussing or speaking to myself

Whistle

I remember as a kid, doing all these things, in response to too much stimulation, or change in things.

I CONSTANTLY had meltdowns, shutdowns, and full on rage as a kid and would have meltdowns often. I dont have them as much now...but they are there.

Shut downs after really any social exchange for longer than a certain amount of time. I can no longer speak even if I tried.

Refusal to eat certain foods because the texture was bad, and eating the same foods over and over again, every day for months.

Loud abrupt noises????? I think the fuck NOT

Being touched. At all. Especially without my permission. I hate hugs.

Having attachments to more animals than ppl, and learning about said animals to an 'obssessive' degree.

Cant wear clothes with tags, or things that arent soft because my skin is so sensitive and it's too much (that's also to do with my fibromyalgia but it's just gotten worse since fibro)

I like to call my brain the monkey brain. It never fucking shuts up. Ever. It just swings from one thought to the next.

Do you ever go to work and actively dont go to the parties or speak to anyone st work because you know if you do you'll spout out something that no one really needed to hear? I stay away from people in life because of that. Or because they will be too loud, and I'd rather just go home and read.

Telling people things they had no desire to learn and being blunt about it is a specialty of mine that I dont seem to realize upsets ppl until they actively tell me they are upset.

Not being able to know what someones feeling unless I empathetically tune into it

Cracking jokes at inappropriate times. Laughing at inappropriate times.

Always noticing details of things and making analysis of why those things are there and trying to understand the context of it

Seeing patterns in EVERYTHING.

thinking any human on the planet who is nice to me MUST like me more than friends because that's what ppl do when they like you from what I was taught

Terrible at body language, many facial expressions, cant grasp any hints on someones intentions unless they tell me

Being told I have RBF because I dont show a lot of emotions

Told I'm extra sensitive and weird ALL the time.

Cant keep a lot of friends for too long because they find me weird

The only thing I know how to talk about is myself, or things that I'm interested in/anger me/make me feel a certain way. I also cant relate to experiences unless I myself have had it happen...

Forgetting things all the god damn time and not knowing where to put things because if I put something somewhere I'll 1. Forget about it and 2. It's not in the right 'spot' and needs to be 'perfect'. I'm a disorganized mess and if anyone helps me I freak out because I dont eant my things touched, everything has to be done a certain way.

Special interests that I'm so obsessed with....like baking, archeology, history...

I know I'm forgetting more things....just learning that this is me. This is my life, this is how I've always thought, and that's ok.

I may be the sensitive, weird, over the top person that no one 'understands'..but this is me.

I'm autistic, and that's what makes me special in a neurotypical world.

[wuvbug-kny]

too late — kamado tanjirou

↬ tw!! suicidal thoughts

↬ tanjirou x fem!reader x inosuke

↬ genre: angst

“i-i really do like you..um, it wasnt easy to confess b-but..yeah..”

my body shook. my head ached. my anxiety was over the roof. what was i thinking, why would i confess to him?! oh god. im going insane. what was i thinking..

i felt tears in my eyes start to form as my body got hotter by the second. my fists were clenches togethee tightly, nails digging into my palms as my heart raced at an unsteady pace. i gulped. why wasnt he saying anything? why is he just standing there? oh no.. my eyes remained stuck onto the ground as the knot in my throat got tighter. the tears that had formed in my eyes began to fall to the ground, and out of embarassment i lowered my head even more hoping he wouldnt notice.

tanjirou, please dont break me more than i already am broken.

“(y/n)..”

“y-yes?”

“im sorry.

i cant reciprocate your feelings.”

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈•ﾟ｡

i felt numb. i felt like complete, utter trash.

i felt worthless. i feel worthless.

of course it turned out that way.

why did i get my hopes up? why was i so dumb? to think someone like him would love such a lonely, miserable girl like me.

my heart ached. ever since i felt like the hole in my chest had gotten the biggest its ever been. it hurt, the pain was incredibly painful, i felt like i seeped even more into darkness than the darkness i was emorsed in before.

god, why am i so miserable? what is this life you’ve given me? what is my purpose?

sometimes, no, at all times i just want to disappear.

the knock on my door startled me, causing me to jump up from my laying position on my bed, in result of getting up too fast i had landed on my floor painfully. i grunted in pain as more tears began to spilled out from my eyes.

im miserable..

quickly sitting up, i wiped the tears from my tomato reddened face before sucking everything up as best as i could.

“y-yes?” i replied to the knocking coming from my door.

the knocking got even louder.

confused, i called out again. “y-yes??”

i jumped, shrieking slightly as the door was kicked open. am i under attack? but this is the butterfly estate! scrambling to my bed like the coward i was, i quickly pulled out my blade, pointing it towards the now beaten down door.

“w-who is it??” i shivered.

“(y/n), you bird brain! training has started and everyone is still waiting on you!!”

in came inosuke, wearing his boar mask as usual.

i lowered my blade and sighed shakily, before putting it away. “i-inosuke..you scared me. you could of just answered to me instead of kicking my door open..” i said, getting up from the bed.

“whatever! you should be at training! you’re holding everyone up, you stupid hag!” he huffed, crossing his arms.

i forcefully made myself laugh, even though i was in now way amused by his words.

hes right.

im a burden to everybody.

i shouldnt be here.

i should just die.

im so worthless.

everyone would be better off without me.

without realizing, i felt the warmness of my tears flowing down my face. i felt my heart ache so badly, my body shaking.

unable to hold my stance, i fall to the floor. sobbing.

because im so pathetic.

taking my bruised up hands, i quickly try to wipe the tears away but they just keep coming, and coming. i cant stop. i cant stop. my bubble has bursted, i have no more energy, i have no energy to keep it all in anymore, i cant control myself.

as i was too busy drowning in my negative, self killing thoughts, i was interrupted when my hands were pulled away from my face.

a little taken aback, but still having tears flowing down my face, i looked up.

inosuke..

“what are you, a baby? stop it.” he grumbled as he wiped my tears away with his thumb. his thumb glided across my cheek, flicking my tears away as gently as ever. for a moment i felt my heart warm. this is the first time ive ever been carressed so gently. i loved the feeling, but at the same time surprised as to who i was recieving it from.

“dont cry anymore. i dont like it.” his hands gently carressed my face now as his emerald eyes looked into mine. i felt my heart skip a beat, the empty deep feeling in my chest being forgotten at the very moment. i couldnt look away from his eyes.

for the first time ever, i felt like. i was okay.

i teared up again, but before i could let the tears spill i engulfed inosuke in a hug. an endearing, loving, grateful hug. i sobbed as i buried my face into his chest.

“t-thank you. thank you so much.”

i felt his arms wrap around my shaking figure gently, as he at the same time patted my head.

i was honestly surprised as to what was going on right now. out of all people, inosuke.

you’ve made me so happy. you’ve made me feel safe, okay, and wanted.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈•ﾟ｡

two months had passed ever since tanjirou had turned me down.

honestly, i had nothing against tanjirou. i never expected him to like me, heck, love me back even. i never expected him to reciprocate my feelings. but at the same time, i felt like i still had a chance. i dont know what was going through my mind at the time.

i still loved tanjirou. maybe not as much as before, but i knew i still had the slightesy feelings for him. i try my best to talk to him as if nothing had ever happened. i really just want to move on from it.

as much as i hate myself for it, seeing him and talking to him makes me feel worthless. i hate myself for feeling that way. if i could go back in time and redo everything, i most certainly would.

what hurt me even more was to see how close he had gotten himself with kanao. it was no surprise to me, honestly. kanao is a very pretty girl, and she’s just way better than me in general in regards to demon slaying and skill wise.

no wonder tanjirou would take interest in her.

i was happy for him, i really was. i held no resent towards kanao at all. afterall, it would be petty and childish.

kanao was a dear friend to me and if they really did have chemistry between one another, i do really wish them the best.

i just cant help but pity myself.

“(y/n)!”

i squeaked in surprise as i was suddenly lifted off the ground by a pair of arms around my waste and twirled around. it took me a moment to realize that it was nobody but inosuke, before having a giggling fit.

“i-inosuke! put me down!” i laughed as he started to make plane noises. i felt myself blush as his eyes locked itself with mine, before averting my gaze to block him from noticing my face had turned into a tomato red.

ever since i broke down in front of inosuke and had him comfort me, we’ve gotten a lot closer. not much has changed between us personality wise, but he associated with me way more and always seemed ready whenever id ask him a favor, etc. he also now liked to pick me up and pretend to toss me, or making plane noises as he twirled me around.

he’s honestly like my best friend now. i can actually talk to him about how i feel deep down inside. he listens but doesnt really give much input on it, but i dont mind. its inosuke afterall, what can i expect? all im grateful for is that he listens.

inosuke grinned before setting me back down on the floor. he patted my hat before literally collapsing onto the grass covered ground, yawning and using his arms to rest his head on.

“im tired, (y/n). take a nap with me.” he grunted, patting the spot next to him. i smiled before laying down too, as i looked up at the sky.

“hey, inosu-“ i cut myself off after i had looked at him and noticed he was already out like a light. i giggled a bit. hes such a baby, honestly.

i stared at his face a bit more and noticed how pretty and feminine his features were. his eyelashes were curled and at a beautiful length, his lips slightly parted making him look angelic. his fair skin with no scars made him look like an angel.

jeez, god really do be picking favorites.

i sighed before laying back down on the grass, closing my eyes as i rested my head on inosuke’s chest. i felt myself sleeping into sleep and just let it happen.

this was one of the many times i felt at peace, always with inosuke.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈•ﾟ｡

“im telling you, inosuke and (y/n) have a thing going on! have you seen how they are with each other?!” falling onto the floor, zenitsu started to sob. “why, out of all people, him?! a pretty girl like (y/n) deserves better! eUUugGNnN!!”

“what are you guys talking about?” tanjirou asked as he walked into the room, a smile worn on his face as he laughed at zenitsu obviously being overdramatic about whatever it was.

aoi and the other three girls sighed as they continued on eating their lunch.

“zenitsu thinks (y/n) and inosuke are dating and hes freaking out about it because he knows he’ll never get someone as pretty as (y/n).” aoi said, laughing at the last part.

tanjirou froze, before laughing nervously. “aaah, dont say that, im sure zenitsu will find someone one day!”

aoi shrugged, followed on by more giggles coming from sumi and the two others.

“are (y/n) and inosuke really dating?” tanjirou asked, sitting down.

“dont even mention it! agh!” zenitsu cried from his laying position on the ground, before burying his face in his arms again.

aoi rolled her eyes before moving onto answering tanjirou. “well..no, actually yeah, no, we dont know. i mean it looks like it. they’ve gotten a lot of closer and inosuke is always up on (y/n) now. i mean, they’d make a really cute couple! i see the way (y/n) lights up when shes around him.”

“a-ah. i see.” tanjirou said, letting out a slight laugh. “well, im gonna head out to train now. ill see you all at dinner.”

aoi and the three girls said goodbye to him as he made his exit.

tanjirou walked down the halls of the butterfly estate, before stumbling upon the garden. he sighed, walking out with the intention to take a look at the peaceful view of the garden meadow and for some fresh air.

his peace was interrupted, however, as his eyes locked upon two well known people cuddled up on the garden grass, taking a peaceful nap.

his fists clenched, and so did his teeth.

he felt jealousy over power him. he did not realize it, but it was there and he felt it. he just didnt know what it was.

but what he knew, was regret.

that he had let (y/n) slip past him.

[kpopplayroom]

The Guest || Taemin (S)

"This annoying motherfu-"

"Hello sir how may I been of assistance" she tried your hardest not glare at the man who stood in front of her

"Could you bring me up lunch?" her smile fell slightly but she quickly composed yourself

"I'm just a receptionist, I'll have one of the wait staff assist you" he frowned

"I prefer you" he smirked

Her head fell with a nervous chuckle. She took a small breath and looked up at him again.

"I'll have to ask my boss" he leaned over the counter

"I'll ask him" she cocked her head ro the side

She stood at the back of your boss fuming, this man actually called your boss. Knowing her boss she'd be stuck with this man for as long as he wanted

"You're job is to keep this man happy, whatever he wants give it to him. I'm counting on you" her face fell

"This isn't my job" her boss glared at her

"It is now" you took a few deep breaths and walked over to her hell

"I'm all yours" he looked around the lobby

"Let's go back to my room" she raised a brow but followed him hesitantly

This was the first time you'd ever been in the penthouse suite. She'd never really had any reason to go into the rooms.

He dropped himself onto he couch and patted the seat next to him. She strolled sluggishly towards him and sat at the far end of the couch.

"What's one place you would recommend to have lunch at?" She furrowed your brows

"There's this really nice barbeque place a few blocks from here" he smiled and leaned closer to her

"Let's go" she leaned away from him

"That's not a good idea" she remembered when he first came here, they had to shut the hotel down for the rest of the day.

"Oh come on. I've been couped up in here for the past 3 days. I want to go out" he stretched out on the couch, laying his head on her lap

"You're too bold for your own good" he winked at her

"Oh come on live a little" she rolled her eyes

"I'd like to keep my job" he sat up, came face to face with her and took her hand into his

"How about I take all the blame for this? We can make up some story that makes me look like the bad guy" she sighed

"Fine but wear something less flashy and a hat"

Her brain was screaming at her, she shouldn't be doing this, they should have just asked the restaurant to make some barbecue or just order it but her she was sneaking out a celebrity through the kitchen to her car.

"Nice" she snorted

She thanked her friend mentally for convincing her to tint her windows.

"How are we even going to get into there?" You started put of the window

"You're my date so we go in and ask for a nice table in the back" she chuckled

"What's your name but the way" he furrowed his brows

"You've dealt with me shouldn't you know?" She shrugged

"I deal with a lot of people through out the day"

"Taemin. I thought the screaming fans would have imprinted that in your head" he was quite chatty, asking her questions about herself and he had no problem answering the questions she threw his way.

He took her hand in his as they walked into the door and took a table in the back of the restaurant where they could be seen properly. He took off his hat and fixed his blonde hair.

"Why did you want me to take you here?" He shrugged

"I'm hungry and you're pretty" she were taken back, she couldnt tell whether or not she liked his boldness

"Um thanks" you both ate in silence. He laid his hand on her upper thigh, she tried her best to not stiffen

"A-Are you ready to go back now?" He nodded with a smile, your body was failing from just a touch to your exposed thigh. Of all days she chose to wear a skirt, it had to be today

The ride back you kept to yourself as much as possible. She ignored the fact that he was very good looking and most importantly the fact that his hand went back to your thigh.

A comfortable silence was shared before them. She sat on the couch and stared at him as he was on a call, her eyes never left him as he placed back and forth.

He hung up the phone with a sigh and dropped himself next to her and planced his chin on her shoulder.

"Have I told you that you're really beautiful?" He gently placed his hand on her cheek. He sat and leaned to towards her, he pressed his lips to her and she tugged his shirt, pulling him closer.

He pushed her down softly onto the couch and unbuttoned her blouse, his hand trailed the top of her breasts then pulled down her bra to free them. His lips moved from her own and drifted down to her neck.

He pushed up her skirt, shifted her panties to the side and pressed his finger against her clit. A gasp left her lips

She tried her best not to think about how wrong this was, she was enjoying this too much to care about what her boss would do to her if he ever found out.

The sound of his zipper made her bite her lip, this was really happening.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" She shivered as he whispered into her ear

"Y-yes" he pulled her closer to himself and hovered over her.

He rested his forehead on hers and pushed into her. She gripped his arms and arched her back.

There was no being gentle, his thrust were rough and quick. She wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him closer to her chest. She felt him latch onto her neck, she didn't care about the marks he'd leave, she was in ecstasy.

She untucked his shirt and her hands drifted up, caressing his torso. She bit his slightly exposed shoulder gently, earning her a groan from him.

The sudden knock at the door was drowned out by her hushed moans. He felt her tremble as she orgasmed, his thrusts quicken and her moans grew louder. He placed his hand on her mouth, his thrust slowed as he found his own release.

He stood up and glanced down at her with a smile.

"I should answer the door. Can you get rid of this" you got shy at the sight of the condom. You made your way to the bathroom while he fixed his closed then answered the door

"Mr. Lee, I'd it possible that I could have my employee for a moment. We're really packed downstairs and I need an extra hand" He stared at the man for a moment

"I don't know, I feel like I need her more. Don't you think?" The man cleared his throat

"Where is she?" Taemin leaned against the door frame

"Bathroom" he nodded curtly

"Could I speak with her?" Taemin shrugged

"I don't know, can you?" It was clear that her boss was beginning to lose patience

"It would just be for a moment then she's all yours"

"I'll think about it" Taemin closed the door

"You're a dick" taemin glanced over to where he heard he voice

"Look at my neck! I can't go down there like this" he walked behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist and placed a kiss on her cheek

"Then stay"

NYX

[shoober56]

Tied ends (outlast story)

Chapter 1:Undefended

The lobby was filled with the smell of rotting flesh, most of us had our nose blocked by our masks, but i had only a helmet, i had to smell it all. "It reeks in here" i said. My friend, Baki, laughed "then wear a mask next time, non of us smell it" he stated, causing me to groan. "Fine, lets just get this over with..." i said as we started clearing the rooms, putting barriers on the doors and killing every inmate we find. We were in the male ward when we saw a dead corpse on the floor."who would do this to someone" baki said, looking down at him, strangely, it got him into a talk about genitals with an employee. Soon we left though, as we were about to leave however. I was ordered to clear the lower floors..

The place still reeked with blood, i could actually taste it. I was walking around when i heard it, a soft buzz. What was it- holy shit! Someone had snuck up behind with a buzz. He suddenly yelled the words "Feed me!!" Iturned around as it lifted the buzz saw up and swung it down. I could only block my body with my gun before suddenly, i was defenseless. I could see the varients smile grow as he lifted his buzz saw again. I couldnt do anything! I could only...I pushed him aside and burst into a sprint, running out the room. I could hear him behind me, chasing me. "FEED ME! FEED ME FEED ME FEED ME!!" I ran faster, dropping my flashlight. he was getting closer. Fuck me fuck me fuck- I slammed the door behind me, locked in a room with no exit, i didnt even think about it, i hid in a locker. He busted down the door. How could he do that? He looked around before walking out. "I can smell you!" He yelled, obviously not. I slowly got out the locker, crouching and sloely creeping out. He was on the other side, to the far left. I decided to go to the right, not risking anything. Soon enough, i found something, a camcorder on the floor. What would a cancorder be doing in the labs? I slowly picked it up, it was cracked, but if i didnt have my flashlight, it would have to do. I lean down the corner, the varient was on the left side, breaking into the server room. Im risking it, the lights are out so he might not see me. I turned on the nightvision and booked it to the door infront of me. "I can smell you!" He repeated, i could tell he heard my footsteps. Fuck me, this is gonna be hell isnt it?...

Chapter 2: Uncertain

I crouch behind some definitely not red barrels, i dont think he saw me, but he definitely heard me. I could hear him getting closer, maybe he'd just walk past me? Hopefully. The camcorder ran on double A's, and i was only able to hold 5 on me, but i dont expect to be here long. Eventually i see him walk past the barrels with the night vision. I stay still, hoping he would just keep walking. Thankfully, my wish was granted, and he turned around, not seeing me, and started walking back. I creep my way to the elevator. 'Fuck me why did i take this job?' I think to myself as i slowly reach the elevator. I take the key out and-im slammed against the wall, i could feel someone on me, a black mist surrounds me. Shit! Its the walrider. I could feel myself about to blow up but...i open my eyes, a dark figure is infront of me, looking at the camcorder. I look at it myself. There were some recording on it before i picked it up, maybe the hodt finds them special, i was never told who the new host was, i just know billy is dead. Whoever it is though, they leave me alone. I pause before picking the key off the floor, deciding to watch the recordings while im on the elevator...

Miles Upshur, thats who he is, the host, hes a journalist, he wanted to show the world murkoffs doing. Thats why hes not killing me, he sees me as a vessel, someone who can finish his work, a prophet. I need to get out of here. Im wondering if i should take the camcorder or risk my chances of him spotting me drop it. That didnt matter however, cause this elevator has different plans, it passes the exit and keeps going up, what the hell? It stops on the third floor instead. God damn it. I walk out and try the door to the bottom stairs, locked, of course. I decided, if i need it for night vision, i might as well record, maybr it will help my chances of escape, maybe the walrider would help me even more, who knows. I look around before walking to the right, seeing as the other side of locked and barricaded. My team probably left without me, or sent someone for me, though im not going with the latter. I find myself in the gymnasium after acouple yards. Bodies hanging on the roof, most of them hanging, exept one, poor bastards. I keep looking for an exit, a way to escape, too bad the elevator here wont work and the ladder is broken. This is gonna take forever, i just hope i dont run into- I hear footsteps, a mumbling voice getting closer, i cant hear what it says, but it doesnt sound staff-like. I crouch down and go into a dark corner. I dont see anyone, but i can understand the mumbling now "double...triple yard...Gluskin not here...nobody to use on.." use on? I dont know what their talking about, then i see him. A man, 6 feet at most, an untied straight jacket, and holding a double barrel shotgun like its a blunt weapon. I quickly go stiff. I recognize that inmate. Samuel Kluntz, split personality, i was known here for having the same last name as him... he looks around, ready to whack someone with that shotgun. I just keep still. He has about to turn, but i could see it as he turned. He spotted me "ungrateful!"he yelled as he turned starting to run at me. My adrenaline kicks in as i run, trying to run around him, and it works, but not without getting the butt of a double barrel on my spine. I wince a keep running. I run and run until a run into a room, seeming to mimic a wedding, with only a bride, but thats not my main focus, my main focus is the vent on the left cornor. I sprint, hearing him close behind me, and jump, getting into the vent and breathing heavy as i look in the room, hearing him curse and start walking away...

Chapter 3:Unwatching

Fuck this. I got hit with a gun, these fuckers are crazy, they told me there was no danger, no danger my ass. The vent dropped down to a small room, windows showing the wedding like room, and the doors blocked by debris, though i could probably move some of it to get out of i wanted, but not yet. If im staying any longer, im getting this armor off, i run too slow with it on. I quickly take the shoulder pads and shin protectors off unbuckling and unzipping my vest, taking it off and shaking my gray jacket off, wrapping it around my waist. I was only wearing my black sweatshirt and grey camo pants now, with my jacket tied around my hips. I take the camcorder and start pushing the metal cabinet away from the door, slowly opening it. I already here the mumbling and crouch down, entering the room infront of me and waiting. I hide under a table when i hear the variant vault the table. Peeking alittle as i see him enter, to be honest, he kinda looked like that one actor, Jesse Eisenberg i think the name was. I see him turn around and walk off. I softly follow, my steps much quieter now. He vaults over the table as i crouch my way under it. I follow him before making way to the door. Maybe i can find a way out through the female ward, though i doubt it, the place was bunring just a couple minutes ago, but we managed to water it down alittle, i hope its enough for me to find my way out. Once i was out of his earshot a walk up afew floors, heading to the floor with the broken door and heading outside, too bad the outside area was surrounded by walls. I start walking, it was morning so i didnt need the nightvision, but i freeze, hearing something, voices, but...I look around before spotting it, two men in the shed, mumbling to each other, i cant see them in detail, but i can hear them. "He looks..nervous..i would like to kill him." "...as would i.." I quickly turn around and walk to the one on the other side. Managing to get to get to the other sode before hearing footsteps, following me. I pause, the footsteps continuing, theres two sets. 'Its them' my brain tells me, i just curse and book it. Fuck that, seriously. The footsteps quicken behind, i cant tell if they are faster, or slower then me. It doesnt matter, i just keep running before finding a small hole in the wall and crouching through it. Now at the entrance to the female ward...im going to die here, arnt i?

Chapter 4: Unfriendly

This place seems broken, some parts burnt to ashes, but no holes led to the exit, only to the outside area of the asylum.

(WIP)

[publicschool-n-genzthings]

The bad or even worse things I've experienced throughout my school years + thing that really pissed me off:

Headstart:

-a kid once fucking SHAT on my playing blocks

-someone stole my milk during breakfast

-same kid from the first part vomited everywhere causing learning to be disrupted

-had a mental breakdown when one of the assistants visited my home and started crying

-got bitten twice on the bus on the way home from headstart

Kindergarten:

-got harassed on my first day of school

-got stabbed in the thigh with a really sharp pencil, pencil lead broke off inside my thigh and the nurse was not able to get it out due to how far it was in my thigh, for some reason I got really sick a few days after that.

Girl that did that to me brought that up to me in 9th grade and she apparently thought shit was funny, even to this day (spoiler alert, shannon, that shit wasn't fucking funny)

-during my first fire drill i tripped out the door and skidded knee first across the concrete, that took a large chunk out of my knee, i could see some bone, and i was bleeding alot and also saw some of my skin on the concrete along with lots of blood, had to be carried to the nurse, but the teacher carrying me decided to bitch about having to carry me because i couldnt walk there by myself due to the literal AGONY i was in

1st grade:

-got stabbed on the bus a few times

-teachers attempted to put me in special ed due to not wanting to speak

-teacher humiliated me in front of everyone because I forged my grandmother's signature on some dumb reading passage, that i didnt even need because I was a much higher reading skill than most others

-teacher humiliated me by threatening to call my grandmother even though my grandmother would've lost her job if caught on her phone if she wasnt on break, teacher said she basically didnt give a shit

-teacher yelled at and humiliated me in class because I leaned back in my chair and fell on my head, she made me change my card to red while other people were still literally doing the same thing I got in trouble for

3rd grade:

-i decided to be fucking stupid and jump on the merry go round that the gym teacher got spinning really fast, i had good reflexes so I was able to grab onto a bar quick and get on, then per request, i decided to jump, gravity was about to yeet me so i grabbed onto the bar but my legs couldnt reach the ground on time, so I was just basically flying at this point. My brain i need to let go of the bar i was tightly holding onto, and then i pretty much just yeeted myself a couple of feet then started skidding across the playground rocks which left many marks the assistant in charge of me just breifly looked up and asked if i was ok, my internal answer, "no, im bleeding from everywhere, send help", my verbal answer "yes"

4th grade:

-developed a crush for straight girl who looked cute in glasses

-teacher decided to throw a party and we brought our own food, beverages, and snacks, we all brought alot of food. Teacher says we can get however much food as we want, i go back for some more of a certain food i was fond of, teacher SLAPS my hand and tells me to stop being greedy, and tells me to get chips intead, despite the fact everyone else has been up there much more than i have, my ex friend, a white kid, unlike me, decided she'd go get some actual food for me, she's about to give the food to me when the teacher yells at her saying if she's not gonna eat herself then thow it away....

5th grade:

-my depression kicks in along with also being super stressed because the teacher keeps harassing me and making fun of me for not being good at math instead of helping me, the counselor had to teach it to me for me to understand

-came out to ex friend, she said "ew" and also that "i better not kiss her" as if anyone would WANT to kiss her in the first place

-ex friend told ex friend 2, even though I asked her not to tell anyone, though ex friend 2 was very supportive of me

-ex friend forced/bullied me into admitting my feeling to my crush, me knowing the outcome, told my ex friend that the crush was straight and she would just reject me, ex friend made me do it anyway

-crush outs me to everyone, and everyone starts harassing me including her, which hurt me a lot and made me feel even worse about myself

-i asked my ex friend if i should kill myself, and she says yes, and to invite her to my funeral, because she "wants to see a dead body", i kept this noted, and planned to go through with it during the late evening by overdosing, i stopped myself before it was too late though, and never mentioned this to anyone

-went through the rest of the year battling with myself and others, and cutting myself

6th grade:

-people forgot about the fact they were attacking me, until this now ex crush brought it up again in gym class

-girl that i didn't like tried to play friend with me, despite constantly making fun of me for liking anime

-new crush is friends with my harassers and layghs at jokes made me, though i guess she actually did care about how i feel, but it sucks I'd do anything for her but she was always the bystander when watching people harass and make jokes about me

7th grade:

-slapped someone on the throught for not leaving me alone, then she punched me, and i told the teacher, girl lied to principal and teacher by saying i choked her and fake sobbing, people believed her, then either distanced themselves from me or harassing me

8th grade:

-same old harassment

-got a rock thrown at the back of my head by some fuckboy, and his asshole friend pretended to stand up for me before laughing about it

9th grade:

-im a loner, nobody messes with me for the most part, they just pretend im not there

10th grade:

-people think im gonna shoot up the school because they know i get bullied

-got dragged into some stupid drama multiple times involving the one friend i have

-dude once said he would punch me if i wasn't a girl...

-someone once punched me in the shoulder for no reason as i was walking by

-got called the n word for the second time in my life + told to pick some cotton

-really had to stop myself from punching every single whitey in the face that was wearing maga hats

11th grade:

-homophobic maga white cishet girl with a mom who apparently has breast and butt transplants wont stop saying stupid shit that makes me want to both deck her

-in between 9th and 11th grade things started getting worse for me again and i started hurting myself in more ways than just physical, im very unstable, but i dont want help, i think i can handle things on my own if i just let out some real emotion within me every now and then instead of just joking about my pains

[bonbonswirl-blog]

Old passer

ALL THE CHARACTERS BELONG TO @brueklynn I OWN NOTHING. You already know this is not canon, i want to point out that there is a character here that belongs to toony BUT doesnt have any kind of design or personality so i created them myself for this story XD means the anything here is not canon at all, that it thank u ^^

Wallaby was standing outside in front of a random store under shade. There he is, standing alone, tapping the ground under him with one foot, his hands in his pants pockets while looking bored. At these fine balmy days, almost every eye hides behind sunglasses and hair flows freely in the breeze, erratic steps echo. The janitor Penetrating gaze probed Perusing the sea of faces, like if he is looking for someone he was supposed to meet up with ages ago and they never came, now he is still here waiting for their arrival at any second. If only time can pass faster, or if he had something to entertain himself away from this killing boredom instead of leaving him to dwell with it. Letting his eyes roam over the streets, he just moved his head right and left checking if one of those faces is the person he meant to meet. However, he didnt know that few moments later something going to etch insidr his memory is going to take place right now. It was the moment when he noticed one of the passers being a lady, a normal lady, just like all the other ladies in the streets. but for some unknown reason, he felt something being off, her presence pulling his attention away from any other person.

Long fluid wisps of chocolate hair that always seemed to gleam when it  captured the light just right. Large liquid blue eyes held such a serenity, trimmed by long pretty lashes, lovely eyes, yet somehow seem gentle. Florid cheeks and flawlessly syrup sweet sculpted lips was lilac soft. She was all about simplicity, holding a small bag in her hands, wearing a short cute bright flowing dress, walking like an elegant lady.

And still for today, wallaby have no idea what was it in his guts that forced him to move his legs as fast as he can to approach her before she get any further away and dissappear from sight.

"E-Excuse me miss!" She turned around, facing wallaby who was holding his flatcap in his hands, waiting for his request. He looked at her with confused eyes, of course he would be, he doesnt know why is he even talking to her from tha first place, what does his guts want from a  random person he never saw? "Yes sir?" She smiled, lipstick glowing. She had a soothing voice, atleast thats what wallaby thought, she seemed nice, that kind of woman whom hold a tiny warmth within eyes. Those eyes...just by looking at this pair he can see one of his gazes in them. That evoked something from some part of his brain, He had no memory of her, atleast thats what he thinks, cause he doesnt recall any. Perhaps its not a memory per se, but echoes that call to his intuition. He started to think he may recognize her before, maybe he did neet her at one point in his life? maybe that was the reason why his legs automatically moved to catch her? Yes, it was, he can tell. Her simple smile was unique, reminded him of a certain smile too. he could have swore he saw it a lot, but where? when? And who? He was anxious for recognition he never knew. "I..." the janitor had no absolute idea of what to say when stopping a stranger for no reason, but he tried to come with a good excuse so he doesnt seem like a fool. How about..the reason he approached her from the first place? Why he ran to her before he lost her view. "Miss did we...did we meet before somewhere?" "We did? Oh Im sorry but, I dont think i do remember..." she apologized, wallaby didnt feel sad or dissapointed because she was just a stranger to him, but his inside did. She doesnt know him too, he can now let her go away right? Nope, that answer didnt calm his guts down, his tongue isnt satisfied with it. He looked at her again. Noticing smooth Bangs obscuring the woman forhead, framing her face. what is so intresting is that.

Her bangs are just like wallaby ones.

That was a nice detail, but all wallaby wanted is to sooth those unknown feelings and go back quickly to waiting for a certain person. "Are you sure? cuz I do feel that we may had knew each other at some point. I mean come on! Our bangs are really so similiar missy!"

So how can wallaby know a lady who is 20 years older than him? Dont ask him, ask his gut. it was still impossible for him not to be held prisoner by the intuitons. but there was undeniable familiarity to her features, possibly thats what held him so captivated. she giggled slightly "I just noticed that too...even our hair color is the same shade! Staring at your eye...I feel myself looking at a mirror! So..whats your name? Maybe I can remember you then!" "Oh! My name is-"

They both stopped when they heard objects hitting the floor with a loud thud.

They both turned their heads for the source of the voice, to their right concerned. It was a man with short dark brown hair, ruddy skin, a flatcap, standing there. Frozen, arms still static in the same position he left his belongings to fall down.

Wallaby was puzzled. His father constantly welcomed any kind of guest he met with kind smiles and  words. He never gave that kind of a shocked reaction to anyone before, especially for just meeting a random lady. His child himself didnt see him that shocked before about anything. But he tried to push it off for now and get back to the subject. "Oh dad Here you are! This is m-" He was cut too when he saw the woman next to him no longer smiling, soft glowy lipstick in a frown, not being too happy to see his father. Drown in her unwanted sad moments, lowered Dull orbs of ocean blocked under the dark shadow created of her fallen bangs, her expressions faded, the molten chocolate that hung precisely on her back turning dry, cheery dress no longer dancing with the breeze. The brown haired boy doesnt understand a thing... unsettling feelings began filling him. Whats wrong? Why are they both That greetly dissapointed? What making his head spin are the unexplained transitions. Who is she? What does she have to do with his dad? He wished he could Leap straight for the answer.

Mason already felt the knife before he saw it. Looking at the girl wallaby just met in a forlorn stare. He didnt blink and in the depths of his gaze, he couldnt believe his eyes anymore. He looked into her eyes one more second to make sure this isnt the wrong person or some hallucinations haunting him.

It was his partner

Or you could say his previous partner.

His shoulders hunched together like if he was trying to disappear inside himself. Even his dark eyes seemed to be attempting to retreat inside his head.

"...Lucy...."

"...You...."

She couldnt even remember his name. Expected. Why would she do anyway? Mason can still recognize her voice, even though its been...very long years since he last heard it, or seen her face...She wasnt that girl he loved, who cared about his being, or encouraged him to do his best in achieving dreams. No, she is just an old passer from his old life. The old lucy was long gone. Lucy snutched up an eye to finally take a glance at her once spouse. Looking at each other, Both of them had changed, yet still identifiable, funny how much tricky the time is. they realised that the eyes whose were once filled with so much purpose and love was now replaced with bitterness, and maybe hate. The only thing that showed any resemblance to the man was the shell the bitter soul inhabited. His old self was gone too. Mason never left anyone, they walked away. In his life he had been the sunshine, giving warmth, light and love without reserve, Yet there came a time when the pain within overwhelmed and only tears came. Her abandonment was like a betrayal to him, a burning to his soul, a dusty hot road on which his mind and body can wither. He had lost the one he loved the most in the world, the one who had kept him stable for periods in his life time. The near loss of everyone he had loved wasnt emotionally stabling to him. Only his son wallaby stayed, refusing to leave his dear father side. It was never an exciting blank page, a fresh start, or a choice to mason, but more akin of being naked in a blizzard. Lucy guessed she should do something about this stifled silence, to break it with a move, It is her own job to find an easful air around herself, so she made it towards him with an outstretch hand and that kind of desponded face usually reserved for your dissatisfaction. But mason startled like a deer in the woods, almost toppling as he took a large step backwards, entire face glowed up with pain and anguish. He let his face fall with gravity again. stepping aside while he slunk past not looking left or right, Leaving wallaby and his own regrets behind, alone. Wallaby wasnt ok at this point, blankly staring at the path his dad toke until distance obscured, hurt was welling in his son eyes, his dad looked broken. Lucy...lucy...Where did he hear that name before? Its repeated in his head many times, mentioned there and audiable by only one voice, his father voice. He unglued his eyes from the path and returned a stare for the woman in hopes for a small claricifation. She sighted him out from the corner of her eye, unable to look at him anymore. "So you..." "Miss..I-" "dont tell me that your name is wallaby...." He got it.

He finally got it.

That woman is his mother.

His Absent mother.

His heart jolts in pain. His jaw went slack with dumbfounded, eyes resigned surprise, brain stutters for a moment and his eyes take in more light than he expected, every part of him goes on pause while his thoughts catch up. Memories started to flood in every blood vessel in his brain, all of them are his five years old self, a beautifull young woman tugging along his side, she is nobody else but his mother lucy. All those stale pictures and voices clinging to his mind at a once. He can now recall them all. It was like he was living those moments, or visualizing them. Set of warm hands he would let hold him own clapping together before holding him off the ground and spinning his small body in the air, voice cradle his mind in familiar sounds, her soothing him from losing his favorite balloon or humming her favorite song at the kitchen. He still remember their last time playing together before the next day, he saw her with suitcases in hand, vanishing through the door, never coming back. For the first while he felt lost with not a single place feeling like home. However happiness found its way back thanks to mason treasured love. Time after time her presence in his life was erased. At this moment here, where he is meeting his mother for the first time after growing up. He felt that a part of his brain Where there should be certain memories is blank space, like a soft beige wall bereft of photographs. After a wash of cold he stepped out from the shadows and highlights of sundown. blazing sun descended, burning the sky in a powerful mix of amber and blood red. The dying sunlight seeped out behind sillhouet. Lucy spun around with her heals, back already facing wallaby in neglect, ready to go far away and leave him, again, in the same day he just met her. The rhythm of her heels clicking against the hard streets floor didnt stop wallaby from uttering his words. "Why did you leave dad?..." She paused her footsteps. "Why did you leave me?.." she stayed silent. How could she answer this? "You werent worth it, wallaby." He was raked with disdain, His eyes glistened with the pain of her betrayal, leaving wallaby with no alternative but to seek a new suspect of more harm, the truth of her innocence is discovered.

"You two were just old passers in my old life. Im glad l didnt waste it in you." Nobody around was heard, just continual taps of heels heading to a straight way. Stepping on her son heart each time they connect to the ground. Her kid steadily tracking her road until she completly escaped over the horizon. His eyes allowed her reluctantly to go past that orange lane, he was unsure about how should he feel about this new memory.

As the daylight dwindled the tension in Skye grew. Mason was in a slight crowded area in a specific street, Standing there on his own, doing nothing but giving a thousand mile stare into space, somehow the noised around doesnt affect any bit of his focusing. Wallaby had found him after taking some time for searching around, reaching him to be by his side. He never even said a single "hey..." to him. Instead, they both kept walking home in a queit sunset. Mason made no attempt to speak the whole way. Apparently, his young boy had expected this, as he kept shut too, mostly cause he didnt know what to say in this situation. Heavy sighs gracing each few minuts passes from the father mouth, did his eyes shine with the terror of his memories. Empty, yet They told a story of sadness, The dark lines around them didnt help much. He didnt mean to fall in love with lucy, but he did anyway, From the very first time he talked to her, he knew there was something so true in this person that reassure him he could be the true him. If only he had enough cohesion power to describe what happened that day to his loved son wallaby, but right now This was mason burden, his kid shouldnt be sharing it with him. His steps were dragged and movements forced. While the companion was down in the dumps, an inkling of wistfulness glimmer in soft eyes dropped to the corners. He fixed his eye toward the sky, wallaby always admired sunsets. But tonight, he felt blue, curbed. Not wanting to think about anything and just get back home to rest from this long day.

At nightfall the heat of the day would evaporate along with the last sunrays. At that night wallaby closed his eyes, head pressed on a soft pillow. hoping for sleep to take him away from this thing called reality. The darkness overtook him slowly, and he fell asleep. But For the first time, Little tears falling from his face.

[dystorian]

a roller coaster doesnt begin to describe

the feelings i have each day im alive

willing to hide but gets harder the more i try

i wish the things i said were understandable

the words in which i cry out to you

desperately wanting to be heard im not crazy

i just have all these things i think, these things that i think daily

they all build up inside of me and pulling myself together requires time

because of this annoying part of mine

that thinks and thinks nonstop

why are they hurting me why dont they care

i care so much love so much until my heart stops

beating so lovingly at the slight of your tone

seemingly changing me instantly as your words creep through my bones and seep into my heart muscles

i care so much for you so much the thought of others interrupting us two on a decent tuesday afternoon

makes me wish i had abandoned you

and then i wish that i had died way back in middle school

sitting in my bathroom

asking god why i couldnt push the razor through

my 13 year old arm who had already caused so much harm to others and myself i really hated you

that part goes to my mom who fucked my life up second generation of her trauma

i despise being unable to

form relationships that last because of everyone in the past that left me in turn because they left you everything you went through i had to go through

and this disease that rots my brain and weed addiction different strain every day all from the hands of who?

it used to make me cringe to mention how my attention is never off this shit but its starting to make me stupid and useless and a new addition is pain let me explain it

i smoke so much daily that sometimes i cant get up and leave my room because i cant walk or move without my ears ringing and and i need to

find somewhere to lay or sit down to escape the sound and drowsiness thats profoundly taking a toll on me

but

its like who can i be mad at? its not all her fault. like i said her mom was a bitch and for her hurt shes at fault. do i blame my grandmother? maybe her mother too? or do i blame the world? if so who can i give my blame to. because carrying it makes my back hurt and im ready to let it go. to others its invisible and all they hear is my pitiful excuses for anger but its a mountain of a terrible outcome of nurture and nature. that i carry on my back and since thats what i lack i need it all from my friends because its something i dont get so when its tainted i cant help but say shit i dont mean because i cant fathom the thought of someone that i love who doesnt love me. breathing even for a second i cant help but not get it. it was just me and mom everyday of my life everyone else left so true love should suffice, right?.. and if you love me and i love you why do we need anyone else is my love not enough i dont MEAN to fight. its not in spite is what im saying im not overreacting everytime you leave me or discard me like im nothing its just years of trusting others with my heart before i knew what love was and getting it ripped out and torn apart. stomped on not even just in my childhood but to this day gone. everyone is gone. theyll be gone for you too. all of you. i never leave any individual because my heart would break directly in two. you tend to love people so much when nobody in the past could ever stay long enough to love you. its like ive grown a second heart that beats normally so that i can hold the one that works half heartedly and give the other away to people who at first shower me with affection and undoubtedly love spending all their time with me proudly until it all wears off and they start to see this broken part of me and as their pedestal raises above my body and im discovered to be a problem i scratch the the block of stone as i try to climb up and be by them i fall right back to the bottom. lying on the cold floor. is my heart deceiving me or am i really dying it feels like im dying. i lay there in silence. waiting for them to step down and sit beside me. at first it feels like ive ascended to heaven when i find out they havent left and

then it feels like vomit.

my appetite decreases and im in no mood for eating. this feeling is caused by me though. i made them leave i told them to go. i ruined it all. this is a cycle thats repeated and im sick of this fucking bullshit reason that i have and give as an excuse but its not a bullshit reason. its just something others cant understand and they leave with my heart beating. because the second one i grew as a child so blue works just fine so its mine that'll take the time. and the sleepless nights crying. they always say itll get better and ill get over it but what did i just rhyme to you? just a few lines ago. for me to love someone new i give away my heart that grew i might have lied when i said just two. they grow for you for every girl for every boy i befriend they do. and as the time i spend with them starts lacking i grow another while theyre packing their bags but it takes forever to grow it back. and if i cant find someone to share it with it starts to grow and poke my ribs. i cant bare it. it doesnt matter how bad im treated just take my spare heart its interally bleeding all inside of me. leaking from my eyes disguised as tears flowing down my cheek. this stupid useless heart of mine does nothing but make me weak upon a lot of a other things all of them undeniably agonizing for me.