#like the Hydra heads on the animated Hercules movie

[jesshq]

So I made a update version of my Pokémon au teams for pain, panic and neurosis, and their OC little siblings paranoia and hope as well as for hades too.

But I’ll explain abit about how each character is with their pokemon, and the Pokémon choices are based on my Disney Hercules headcons.

Also the green travel buddies on some of the Pokémon mean that, the Pokémon that has the green dot means it’s basically like ash’s pikachu and is always with them travelling.

Let’s start off with pain:

Most of his Pokémon choices are due to my headcons example: blitzle and tsareena is basically due to my headcon of ship of pain x Pegasus and pain x tele (oc).

pain is accident prone so he has a lot of caring or healing or just protective pokemon.

Most of the choices are to fit with pain’s personality and hobbies especially from headcons: he likes to cook and bake so an alcreamie fits perfectly, where as munchlax and impidimp remind me a lot of pain in body shape and colors.

And since in my headcons he is the caretaker for the hydra where as panic is for Cerberus, neurosis is the harpies, hope is pokey’s care taker (the families pet gold fleece sheep), and paranoia take care of the underworld fire hounds (basically they’re ares’s dogs of war breed but underworld and look abit like Cerberus only one head but sometimes have 2 as that is a 50/50 chance of happening when breeding them) so that’s why he has the three headed dragon Pokémon ^^;

Time for neurosis:

Like pain most of my choices revolved around headcons, hobbies from said headcons or from canon show or movie and that the Pokémon reminded me of or would fit well with the character:

but neurosis’s goodra and frostlass fight constantly as like ash’s bayleaf they love him, but abra has neurosis’s 24/7 attention due to it’s basically a baby, most of his Pokémon are used in the anime or games to help relax pokemon so he has a lot of fairy or grass type as their sweet scent from their flowers helps him focus.

neurosis is also very stealthy as in his episode he goes almost unseen till phil sees him when Hercules was fighting the man eating mares, so Pokémon that are stealthy, fast or hard to see or notice are the best choices for him

His dusk lycanrock is a reference to my ship for him: neurosis x mayhem (oc) and floette is a reference to: neurosis x clover (oc)

And his frigibax is from my headcon he can breath a cool mist like breath and breath fire but he’ll mostly use mist breath to make people nervous.

And the bravairy is referring to in my headcons his pet harpie: avara

Ok now for panic:

Most of his Pokémon choices are like neurosis and pain’s from my Disney Hercules headcons or they fit with the character.

Like neurosis panic has Pokémon have moves or have a tendency to help to relax and focus, he however also has Pokémon that like pain are protective of their trainer.

Scyther and finizen are referring to my ships: panic x Hermes and panic x Lethe (oc)

Panic is show in the series to be a good fighter so Pokémon that aren’t that strong pre evolution but after they evolve are most of Pokémon like chardet, frokie, etc.

I didn’t give panic a Pokémon to reference the family pet Cerberus where as pain and neurosis as well as hope and paranoia do have a reference Pokémon for their family pets they care for, because hades own mostly Cerberus, but I gave him leafeon as it’s grass type smell helps him focus.

His morgrem joined him as a impidimp and kinda thought panic was it’s parent due to their skin colors matching.

Time for hades:

I think the choices speak for themselves ^^;

Dispute his Pokémon’s looks His Pokémon are very parental and gentle  with hades’s kids and their Pokémon. And if you seen my headcon that hades’s is pain, panic and neurosis, hope and paranoia’s father you would know hades’s was as good adopted parent till his bipolar temper disorder got the best of him, but pain and panic (later neurosis, hope and paranoia) learn hades really doesn’t mean it as he will check them over for injury if he hits them by accident while in raged.

[thealmightyemprex]

COlumbia Pictures rewatch Review :Jason and the Argonauts

For our second Columbia review we are looking at a certified CLASSIC ,One I have seen many times ,the fantasy adventure Jason and the Argonauts

In this 1963 film Jason(Todd Armstrong ,though dubbed by Tim Turner ),seeks to regain his fathers throne and bring hope back to his kingdom by going on a quest to find the Golden Fleece,with aid by the goddess Hera (Honor Blackman )and a ship manned by Greeces great athletes

So I'll admit ,I am not too familiar with the myth of the Argonauts (Though I do know enough that Jason and his love interest Medeas relationship doesnt end well ) so I am not gonna do much comparison,this is gonna be viewed as a movie

Now lets start with criticims ,and I think the main one id because its based on myth ,its a little clunky to a film audience .Example the film establishes King Pelias as the main villain ,the usurper who killed Jasons father and sister .....Buuuuuuuuuuuut since the film is about Jason going on a quest ,and since the film ends with the capture of the Golden Fleece ,PElias kind of disappears from the movie after Act 1 then in act 3 taking over as the big bad is ANOTHER evil king ,King Aeetes .I also think its a shame that the Argonauts arent that developed aside from Jason,Argus ,Hercules ,Hylas and Acastus .Also Medea feels kind of genric which is funny when you know about her myth equivalent

That said this movie rocks .Its a fun adventure .I think the aspect of the story I like the most is how mankind are sort of playthings for the gods ,I love how casual the scenes in olympus are ,how casually they treat the fates and lives of men

The cast is mostly solid,Todd Armstrong brings an appropriatly heroic vibe to Jason ,Gary Raymond is appropriately conniving as Pelias's son /spy Acastus ,Laurance Naismith is fun as the ships builder Argus ,and Jack Gwiliam is scene stealingly hammy as the villainous King Aeetes (His "KILL KILL KILL THEM ALLLLL " has stayed in my mind for decades ).Honestly it is the supporting cast who steal the show though, Patrick Troughton as the blind king Phineus ,Niall MacGinnis as one of my favorite takes on Zeus ,Nigel Greene as hands down the best Hercules ever put to film, John Cairney as Hercules doomed friend Hylas ,and a fantastic performance by Honior Blackman as the goddess Hera

Now the best part of the film is the setpieces by special effects maestro Ray Harryhausen ,who brought the monsters of Ancient greece to life.There are 4 stop mostion set pieces in the film and they are all good.First is the clash with the bronze giant Talos ,who is a masterpiece of character animation .Next are the Harpies who torment Phineus ,who are probabbly the weakest sequence ,Im not to fondd of the bat like design for them ,though Troughton does some great mime acting.The most impressive scene is definately Jasons fight with the seven headed Hydra ,who is legit creepy,and with seven heads to animate mustve been a pain for Harryhausen to animate.Then you have the finale where JAson and co fight seven skeleton warriors (A sort of spiritual succesor to Sinbads fight with a skeleton in 7th Voyage of Sinbad ) which many have declared one of the best special effects sequences of all time and....Yeah I agree .Its an exciting and well done fclimax that ends the fiklm on a good note

Overall this film is a fantasy classic,highly reccomended

@ariel-seagull-wings @themousefromfantasyland @the-blue-fairie @theancientvaleofsoulmaking @angelixgutz @amalthea9 @princesssarisa

@filmcityworld1 @minimumheadroom

[almadesarrollo]

HERCULES TIME OF THEORIES: MÉGARA WILL DIE LIKE IN THE MYTH

You voted, you have it, hahaha well, to start building this theory we first have to start from several points.

-Megara is a monster or Gorgon, and not just any one, but Medusa herself, and this is partly why her death will occur, a bit like in the original myth of Hercules. There are many clues in the series and in the film itself (and also in the sequel comic) that she is not human or at least, she wasn't always, but this is a topic for another post. Let's simplify things by assuming that she is Medusa, right?

-in the original myth of Hercules, Megara is Hercules' first wife, they both marry and have 3 children, she dies at the hands of Hercules, he kills her due to an attack of madness caused by Hera herself, because in the original myth Hercules was the product of an infidelity at the hands of Zeus, in this massacre his children are also victims, which in the future will lead him to redeem himself by doing the famous 12 labors.

-Medusa in the original myth dies at the hands of Perseus, who cuts off her head

-The Hydra of Lerma is not part of the labors of Hercules because according to the myth itself, it is known that his nephew helped him defeat it with the help of a torch, so King Eurystheus, who assigned him the 12 tasks, did not count it as valid and added another labor.

Well, with all this clear, let's begin.

Megara will be killed by Hercules, he will kill her because she is a Gorgon and he will discover this secret, but, in addition, this secret will be revealed when they already have 2 children, who will logically be half monsters, this will lead to an attack of madness that will make him literally kill his family, imagine having children with the love of your life and discovering that you had children with a monster that you can't even look at, sounds disturbing, right? Who wouldn't go crazy finding out something like that?

This event will be Disney's way of justifying the death similar to the myth, since if it were done as in the original it would logically make no sense, Disney's Hera is good and would have no reason to do that to Hercules, but if Meg were literal Medusa, there would be reasons for Disney to kill her, but, in addition, it would be the perfect setting for Hercules as a character to grow and evolve.

And I feel that Hercules as a hero has not gone through all those phases, I mean he hasn't really hit rock bottom like other heroes have, all heroes have lost someone, and have known how to get up and move on but Hercules hasn't, and if Disney plans to make a strong hero they should give him a little suffering, and I feel that this would be the best way.

Now, how would Meg die? There are two options: one is that she dies turned into stone because Hercules reflects the effect against her or that he directly cuts off her head. I lean towards the second because Disney makes too many references to this type of action.

Let's now look for the clues in the movie series and so on because there are some.:

the most obvious is in hercules, the hydra and the scenario it shows, there are 2 children trapped and hercules frees them, these 2 are Pena and Panic in disguise, this betrayal is seen when hercules discovers from Hades himself that he deceived her, and there the truth is revealed,

the strange thing is Hercules' reaction and disturbance when he finds out about this, he is more disappointed than usual and it wouldn't make sense why, because yes, he can disappoint you but not so much because Hercules didn't even know Hades as such, yes, she set a trap for him, but it seems too exaggerated to me, his reaction, right?

Unless it's something else and it destroys him. The 2 imps pour the soda on him as a joke, if you look closely, it's exactly the same color as the hydra's blood, which in the end turns out to be an animal that grows many heads if you cut them off, if you look closely at the hydra it really does look quite a bit like a jellyfish, only bigger, it has snake-shaped heads, how does the hydra end up? Dead,

so they're already giving you an idea of ​​what's happening:

The Hydra represents Meg and the children that she is going to have. When she frees them, she makes it clear that they are biological, but in addition, the Hydra has colors similar to those of Megara. Hercules kills the Hydra that tries to eat him, but cuts off his head and in the end buries him. I would almost say that it looks like a burial.

“she is a great actress”

comment by hades, Disney is telling you to your face!!!, meg is ACTING AND SHE IS DOING IT SO WELL THAT SHE IS MAKING YOU BELIEVE THAT SHE REALLY LOVES HER, THAT IS THE IDEA, THAT IS WHY IT IS SAID THAT SHE IS A GOOD ACTRESS.

Look at what a great coincidence that after that it is as if the true story of Hercules really begins with the 12 labors,

and it is that really in mythology, the hydra does not count as such, so it makes sense that not being an official labor, Disney already took it as a starting point for its hero and growth, plus you kill 2 birds with one stone because if you kill Megara you get rid of Hercules' 3 wives because Megara represents all 3, what better argumentative way than to make a hero grow quickly.

But also, if we want to see more clues about this we have to go to the series, there is an episode ( the amphora of Etolia) in which Meg appears and she cheats on him,

Basically she wants to get the amphora with water of oblivion and uses Hercules to get it

in the chapter we meet the son of Ares: fear and terror, whose names are very similar to those of Hades' minions, coincidence?, but even more so when they have human form they are almost identical, coincidence again?,

it can't be, Disney put this for a reason.

In the chapter when these 2 want to throw water on Ares so that he forgets everything, who enters Hercules and Megara, they call them father thinking that it is Ares and not another person, but there is the clue, in that it seems that Hercules is their father due to the situation,

so as Disney often puts clues hahaha so this confirms the fact that she will have 2 children and that she will only use him… and that later on he will kill her.

Throughout the series we see severed heads with Meg and Hercules, the Hydra, Phil literally tells her to stop cutting off heads, when Meg sings her song, the muses are busts and one literally loses her head, when Meg is with Hades she asks him for the severed head of Hercules etc… so now how will she die…

In the romantic walk between the two, Hercules places Meg on a stone bench that turns out to represent a grave, which really makes one think, is he going to bury her or bury her?

So it's clear what's going to happen, after this, he'll have to start from scratch again and that's where we'll see his true evolution as a hero, that's why the theme is from Zero to hero, because he starts again from 0 this time, yes, if he focused on his most desired goal, without distractions, on that path he'll meet true love, which is Aphrodite, and finally he'll reach Olympus where they'll both get married just like in the original myth (remember that Hercules marries a goddess, Hebe, the cupbearer of the gods).

As an extra fact, notice that the band that Meg is wearing is exactly the same as Hercules's, and if Hercules is wearing it in homage or remembrance of her… that would be great.

Well, here ends my theory, this is one of the many I have because there are more and it is that Disney puts so many clues for us to theorize that it really becomes a puzzle to solve, there is much to comment on, such as the water of oblivion and what Meg has planned in the future with it, but well, that is a topic for another post, tell me what you think about this, it looks interesting and it would be brutal if Disney carried it out, hahaha.

Like, reblog, and follow me if you liked the content and also to see more of this type

[kyotosummer]

While I do appreciate the post, I do want to point out there's a SMIIIIIIDGE more nuance to this than just "he was a billionaire doing what billionaires do".

It's accurate, in an umbrella term, but I feel like just giving these kind of blanket statements actually take away the solution to the problem, because as much we want to believe that billionaires are some other species, the fact remains that several billionaires who have risen in America were lucky idiots who had no money before they tripped over a gold mine.

I've been trying to figure out wtf is going on with these rich assholes, and what the possible solutions are outside of violence (since no one commits to it anyway), and once I tried actually applying empathy to the equation I came across a horrifying realization:

Once ANY individual (yes, even you reading this) gets enough money to do what they actually WANT to do, they'll try to do it no matter what.

"I spared no expense" - Quoted by Hammond all throughout the original move

The dude wanted an interactive Dinosaur experience, period. Beginning and end. Probably loved dinosaurs since he was small.

Well, in order to get the dinosaurs, he had to clone one. Cue the curse of technology and money. (I'll come back to this)

Because he started this project through using technology to clone the dinosaurs, everyone in his team is giving him advice IS A SCIENTIST DOING THE CLONING, OR PROFITING OFF THE CLONING.

There's little need for animal caretakers at the beginning of the cloning stage, as they don't even know yet if they'll survive anyway, and since Henry Wu was thoroughly obsessed with making sure HE was the one to create the perfect specimens, he probably convinced Hammond to just let the scientists handle the dinosaurs after hatching, as well.

And since the dinosaurs were growing as healthy as he could tell under the care of the scientists, well, clearly the scientists are just as good as standard handlers.

And you KNOW Wu was the one to tell him the dinosaurs would imprint on Hammond if they saw him first after they were born, giving Hammond a false sense of security that the dinosaurs would be loyal to him.

So then we have a billionaire who bought an island and successfully cloned a T-Rex. He wants to "share this with the world" and decided the best way to do it and keep kids coming was to build a theme park.

And this is where the problems start: The scientists can figure out how much space a dinosaur can survive in, but they don't' actually study animal behavior, so they wouldn't know how much space is needed to KEEP A DINOSAUR HAPPY AND SAFE.

The dude didn't even get paleontologists into the picture until lawyers got involved, at which point he already had a fully-populated dinosaur island (easier to ask for forgiveness than permission), and he didn't start getting stuffy about things until it was discovered that he had to be EMPATHETIC to the Dinosaurs, and the process SHOULD HAVE BEEN DONE AT A MUCH, MUCH *SLOWER* PACE.

And that is the curse of technology and money.Time is supposed to = Money, and he should only have to provide food and shelter to the creatures, so if he's got the money, why can't he have what he wants now?

If he's feeding the dinosaurs and they're touching grass, why wouldn't they be happy?

This same curse is also being cast through Amazon. We can have Bezos removed from the picture all we like, but it doesn't change the fact that AMAZON SHOULDN'T:

A) be this big

B) allow people to believe they can get their stuff in only two days if they pay for the subscription service

Because as much as we, the population, believe we should be entitled to what we want when we want it if we can afford it, this is the very attitude that caused the tragedy of Jurassic park, and now it's why Amazon employees are treated so much like shit and company-issued drones are expected to be common all too soon.

My Point Is: The only real way to stop the problem of Jeff Bezos is to stop cancelling PEOPLE, and start cancelling the services. Unless doing so would affect your literal health or get you killed in one way or another, stop paying for Amazon Prime and visit a brick and mortar store instead.

Watching Jurassic Park and I have Opinions on this place as a zoo. Feeding the predators live prey?? There's other ways to provide enrichment! Also that enclosure is way too small for multiple large animals like that! Electric fences? Ha! Electric fences won't stop a fucking goat! Where's the zoo experts? Who designed these enclosures?? Were all zoos this shitty in the 90s???

[cheerstotheelites-if]

What mythical animal do the ROs resonate with, and why?

Weylyn: Cwn Annwn. They're Welsh hellhounds that drag souls to hell. He generally resonates with them because it's d o g, even if they are deadly dogs that will and can drag your very essence to the bottomless BBQ party pit.

Fleur: Basilisk. They are known for killing a person with a single glance, and in a way her natural judgemental stare can make you stop and wonder what she's judging you for. Also because she likes reptiles

Zephyrine: Pegasus. Besides a childhood horse girl phase, said horse can fly and Zephyrine wants to fly. So big brain choice for her. May or may not be also because of the Disney movie Hercules. The pegasus is big funny there, okay?

Eliseo: Hydra, because spit acid and have multiple heads? Ultimate artillery. Also he can a d will deadass yell "TOXIC" and spit acid on you.

Cooper: The classic huge ginormous fuck you dragon. Look, it may be basic but hey the man likes the chaos and free fire breathing, okay? I mean, who wouldn't want to be a gian fuck you dragon?

Ophelia: Ye olde Loch Ness monster! It's one of her favorite cryptids ever and the whole mystery and debates surrounding it intrigues her

[fekst-fucker]

I AM REALLY ENJOYING THE MONSTER S/O STUFF BUT LIKE,, CAN READER BE A SEXI HYDRA 👀 or a minotaur 👀 i am loving all of these Fekst

Who remembers the hydra from Disney’s Hercules. That was freaky

Eyeless Jack

- You thought feeding one 7’ cannibalistic monster was hard enough… try a 7-9 headed hydra

- Who, by the way, requires a LOT more food than someone with one head. Did someone say hunting dates :)

- Jack has gotten really good at not only dissecting people but also deer and other really big animals bc you choked on a bone once and he got really worried

- One time… on a date on the shore… you caught a shark and Jack had to figure out REAL quick how to fillet fish

- He’s captivated by every single one of your heads. How is each one more beautiful than the last. How is your skin or makeup on each face perfect

- He honestly is his most relaxed, genuine, and a lil unhinged when he’s with another monster. You see a different side of him than the other creeps

Jeff

- He immediately falls for you because you terrify him lmfao

- He’s one of those people who feels love and is like “what the fuck is this” and immediately attaches it to a different emotion so like… multi headed babe that could eat me is sexie

- But on the downlow he loves affection. Kisses from every one of your heads? Yes please

- This man is a fool for you, he once ran around outside for like three hours trying to catch rabbits and squirrels for you to eat

- You’re like you know I can eat regular food like. Like pizza right

- So, thoroughly embarrassed and pretending he was “just working out”, he gets you two some pizzas and soda and you get to cuddle and watch a movie

- He lays over your lap bc he’s insistent on being able to touch or hold every one of your heads 🥺

Clockwork

- This bitch was obsessed with Greek mythology and tales as a kid and did a few art pieces on hydras and other monsters

- So when she sees you her heart stops in the best way possible

- Like Jeff, her mind immediately connects her stomach flipping and her heart sinking so she also is like séxíe mönstër…

- She’s not much of a quick kisser, if you’re gonna do it do it right yknow but with nine heads that can turn into a very long process

- Because of this, and because you’re both busy people, you’ve had to schedule make out sessions :*

- Which honestly is really nice. Having time alone and time to look forward to is a huge stress reliever so your relationship is super chill despite how constantly infatuated Natalie is with you

Ben

- Calls you “mydra ;)” thinkin it’s a cute nickname

- “Yknow, like my hydra! Mydra! It’s good!”

- This boy is totally unfazed by a nine-headed babe- he practically lives in video games. He is not a stranger to big sexy boss monsters

- He’s kinda got that sub mindset so 😳 step on me

- You are very tall, to make room for all those heads and neck, so it’s nice to stand as you are and let him float up and give you kisses

- He’s very distraught that he can’t hold all nine of your heads at once, he constantly struggles to try and wrap himself around your necks bc “I can’t only give a FEW of them attention D:!”

- He’d much rather float beside you so he can talk to you and be face to face to face to face to face to

- He will also come back with tons of your favorite snacks and sometimes cuts of meat to quell each of your heads’ cravings

[365days365movies]

March 9, 2021: Orpheus (1950) (Part One)

Greek mythology was my first mythological love.

And yes, that is ironically a very cliché thing to say about Greek mythology, since it’s by FAR the most popular and well-known mythology in the Western world, but...what can I say, I’m a sucker for the classics.

When I was 6, my mom got me a copy of the Odyssey, followed by D’Aulaire’s Book of Greek Myths, and that book was my SHIIIIIIIIIIT. From the Titanomachy to the Trojan War, from Decaulion to Daedalus, from the Lernaean Hydra to Ladon, and from Zeus to Dionysus (my second favorite Olympian), I LOVE Greek mythology.

There have been countless adaptations of these stories over the last century of so, some better and more faithful than others. We got Blood of Zeus (which I...genuinely dislike) on Netflix last year, Lore Olympus is a fantastic webcomic and modernized retelling of the universe of stories in general (fuck Apollo, that’s all I have to say), Hercules by Disney is fun (though extraordinarily inaccurate), and who doesn’t like some Percy Jackson (the books, not the movies)?

Today’s entry won’t be the first of the Greek mythology stories this month; after all, it’s DEFINITELY fantasy, so there were going to be a few entries in here. Some will come pretty close to each other later this month, but for this one, we’re jumping forward 10 years from The Thief of Bagdad to 1950. Let’s get back to France, shall we?

Famous for his adaptation of Beauty and the Beast is Jean Cocteau, legendary French surrealist filmmaker. His stylings definitely capture a sort of practical magic, compounded with clever angles and fascinating visual and practical effects. It’s evident with the classic fairy tale, which I would’ve done this month had I not already seen it. So, instead, we’ll be looking at the middle film in a trilogy known as Cocteau’s Orphic trilogy. This is, apparently, the most important one. And that makes sense, since it’s focused upon...

Is Hadestown good? I’m real tempted to find a way to watch it, and it sounds like it’s just up my alley. I’ll probably check it out one of these days.

Orpheus was (maybe) the son of Calliope, the muse of poetry, and Apollo, god of music. Maybe. Parentage differs based on the retelling. No matter the parents, he was renowned for his charm and grace, as well as his voice and music. He was loved by animals, nymphs, and maidens alike. He was invited to be the Bard of Jason’s DnD group (AKA the Argonauts), and used Bardic Performance to inspire his comrades (and also helped them overcome the sirens by singing EVEN LOUDER).

But the one whom he loved most was his wife, Eurydice. Unfortunately, a satyr (AKA horny horned half-goat man) chased her right into a viper’s nest, where she was bitten and died. Orpheus was CRUSHED, and his song was so depressing that even the gods cried. They said, “Dude, go to the Underworld, get back your lady from Hades, please!” And he did.

Hades, the old romantic that he secretly is, agrees to let Eurydice’s soul, on one condition. That he doesn’t look back at her as she follows him out. Orpheus agrees, but the man can’t stop himself from looking back to make sure that she’s there. And she was...and then she wasn’t. So, our sad boi fucked up, and then...well, it’s spotty. 

See, some people say that he stopped worshipping Dionysus (his previous patron), and the wine boi’s female followers tore Orpheus to pieces as punishment. Some say that these same women got a liiiiiiiiiittle too into the Bacchanalia (think orgies, but religious and violent), and ripped him apart in a frenzy. And some say that he only took male lover from then on, and women tore him to pieces for not paying attention to them (also, possible homophobia). You know, it varies. Still, we can agree on the ripped apart by women thing. His head could still sing, and as the women threw his body parts into a river, it sang a song so beautiful that the rocks and branches in the river refused to strike it. His instrument of choice, a lyre, was eventually interred amongst the stars as the constellation Lyra.

The story of a pained artist searching for a lost love and losing her is all over the goddamn place, with the crazy-ass Moulin Rouge being a solid example of it.

But OK, let’s finally begin Orpheus, or Orphée to be more accurate. Gonna be a weird ride, I guarantee it. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/2)

The story starts with a recap of the original myth, and notes that it doesn’t need to be limited  by time and place. This sort of story, after all, could happen anywhere and at any time. And in this case, that time and place are 1950s-era France, where we quickly meet famous poet Orpheus (Jean Marais).

At a café, he meets a friend, the Editor (Henri Crémieux), where they speak on Orpheus’ fame, which is not well-liked in a cafe frequented by poets. Also arriving there is a young drunken poet, Jacques Cégeste (Édouard Dermit), who is accompanied by his patron, known only as...the Princess (María Casares). Come on, guys, can we give our female characters names, please?

Anyway, Jacques quickly gets into a drunken brawl with other patrons, which leads to the arrival of the police at the café. They forcefully arrest him, but before they can, he’s hit by a couple of motorcycles, and potentially killed. The police bring Jacques back to the Princess’ car, with the help of her driver Heurtebise (François Périer). For unknown reasons, she summons Orpheus to help them. He agrees, and goes with them to the hospital.

Or he would be, if they were going there. Instead, as they drive off, Orpheus discovers that Jacques is dead already. They aren’t going to the hospital. Instead, they head to a mysterious mansion, as ominous and oblique poetry plays on the radio. They’re soon accompanied by the men on the motorcycles that killed Jacques, who work for the Princess. The plot fuckin’ THICKENS.

Back at her mansion, they bring the body of Jacques upstairs, much to the confusion of Orpheus, whom the Princess keeps calling stupid whenever he asks questions. However, he’s not proving her wrong, as she immediately convinces him that she’s actually dreaming at the moment. Although...maybe he is?

She sits in front of a mirror, which breaks...somehow. Frustrated, she commands Orpheus to wait there for her to return, as she goes to check on Jacques and her men. Like me, Orpheus is confused. This gets worse for me, though, as the Princess goes to the other room and tells the dead Jacques to get up. AND HE DOES. Well, Jacques’ a zombie, I guess. He identifies the Princess as “his Death”, which she agrees to. She tells him to hold on to her coat, and then...

...I got questions. I GOT QUESTIONS HERE.

They go through the mirror, and the Princess’ henchmen follow, just as Orpheus walks in. He also has questions, and he tries to go through the mirror, to no avail. Completely confused at this point, he passes out against the mirror, alone in the mansion. And then...he’s outside.

Yeah, he’s just outside now, and waiting there is Heurtebise, the chauffeur! Orpheus is freakin’ out, and Heurtebise has no answers for him, but has been told to take him back to town once he...arrived. OK. Still questions.

In town, the disappearance of Orpheus is being discussed by a police inspector, his wife Eurydice (Marie Déa), and her friend Aglaonice (Juliette Gréco). Aglaonice doesn’t seem to like Orpheus very much, as she’s trying to convince Eurydice that he’s cheating on her. And that’s hard to argue, since he was last seen with the Princess. However, just as there’s about to be a scandal reported by a spontaneously appearing journalist, Heurtebise and Orpheus arrive home.

After a rough encounter with the journalist, he arrives home to a relieved Eurydice, and an enraged Aglaonice, whom Orpheus also dislikes heavily. He’s apparently forbidden her from entering his house, and tells her off. The Inspector leaves too, and asks Orpheus to come to his office to discuss the matter of the missing Jacques.

Eurydice reminds Orpheus that Aglaonice is dangerous, as she runs...the League of Women. Well...I think we know what role Aglaonice is going to play by the end of this. Her and her League of Bacchanalian Women, get me? Yikes. Anyway, the conversation turns into an argument, when the EXTREMELY ornery Orpheus basically just storms off, being a DICK to his poor wife. And when he goes upstairs to his room, he actually sneaks out of the window.

Meanwhile, Heurtebise comes into the house to offer an alibi to the pained Eurydice. While she doesn’t quite believe it, the two share some time together and seem to bond. However, when he smells gas from the stove, Heurtebise lets it slip that he committed suicide by using a gas stove. He covers it up before Eurydice notices the slip-up, but...OK. So, “the Princess” is death. Going by the traditional Greek myth, she’s some form of psychopomp, and the world beyond the mirror is the Underworld, I can only assume. OK...I can dig it.

Orpheus, meanwhile, is at the car, listening to the strange radio poetry and writing it down. The, uh, “Princess” is busy as well. Like a ghost, she walks into the household and watches Orpheus as he sleeps. A narration refers to her as Orpheus’ death. Funny, I’m pretty sure that’s going to be Aglaonice’s role.

Two days later, Orpheus is increasingly obsessed with the poetry from the mysterious radio and its odd messages. While Eurydice seems to mock this obsession, Orpheus also seems to be far too enraptured in it. But, interestingly, the messages seem to be coming from nowhere known. However, it’s all beginning to affect their marriage greatly.

On the phone, the Inspector comes calling, and Eurydice asks Heurtebise to answer the phone. He does so, and soon after, we see the phone float into place, as if placed there by a ghost. That’s confirmed as Heurtebise phases to the outside from nothing, where he meets Orpheus and informs him of the message. The two decide to head to the Inspector in his car, rather than the mysterious talking car.

While Orpheus goes through town, looking for the Princess rather than the Inspector, there’s something that I wanted to mention here. Call it an interpretation. Apparently, Heurtebise is often considered an angel by critics and interpreters. However, I’m gonna suggest that he’s actually supposed to be a representation of Hermes, the messenger god and a psychopomp who escorted souls to the Underworld. Not sure about the Princess yet, but Cocteau apparently never meant for her to be portrayed as actual death. Interesting.

Meanwhile, at the Inspector’s office, both Aglaonice and Orpheus’ poet friends (supposedly) are accusing Orpheus of being involved in Jacques’ disappearance. The Inspector turns them away, just as Heurtebise and Orpheus reconvene in town. While Orpheus didn’t find the Princess, Heurtebise says that she came by, saying that he could stay with the married couple for now.

Speaking of the Princess, we see her at night, staring over Orpheus. And her eyes are...strange. They seem artificial, and it bothers the EVER-LOVING SHIT out of me. And the whole affair isn’t helping Eurydice either, as she’s tired of Orpheus’ obsession with the car, and is planning on going to Aglaonice for advice. Heurtebise tries to stop her from doing so, but she insists. But when she goes...the motorcyclists come for her. And she’s dead. As proven when the Princess arrives through the mirror.

Alongside her comes Jacques, acting as the Princess’ servant. She notes to him that their work isn’t easy, and couldn’t be done if she were dressed in the way the humans portray her. So, she is seemingly Death, or at least an aspect of Death. Obviously, as we’re talking about the Greek story, we can assume that she’s meant to be Hades in particular. But, we’ll see. It’s also confirmed, by the way, that the mysterious messages are indeed Jacques’ poetry, recited by him on the radio waves from beyond the grave. Neat.

Heurtebise is clearly upset with what’s just happened to Eurydice. He asks if the Princess actually had orders to kill Eurydice. She avoids the question, and guesses correctly that Heurtebise has fallen in love with Eurydice. He confirms this, and counters with the fact that the Princess has seemingly fallen in love with ORPHEUS. The plot fucking THICKENS.

Good place to pause, I think. Halfway mark and all. See you in Part Two!

[epic-summaries]

Worst Ways to Die - Disney Edition

Ever wonder which death is the worst in the Disney Animated Canon? Well, here is the list of ways I do not want to go.

After making this list, I realized that there are some gruesome ways Disney characters have died.

Honourable Mentions:

The Spirits in Night on Bald Mountain and Ave Maria section of Fantasia: They are already dead. They don’t count.

Forest Creatures in Bambi: I can assume animals died in the fires, but I have no confirmation. So, I like to believe that all the animals lived.

Bambi’s Mom in Bambi; Willie the Whale in Make Mine Music; Todd’s Mom in Fox in the Hound; Kocoum in Pocahontas; Kerchak in Tarzan: Just wanted to mention how many people get shot with guns or cannons in Disney movies.

Ichabod in the Adventures of Ichabod and Mister Toad: Is he dead? I want to believe he’s dead because I hated him. But the ending hints that he might be alive being his normal asshole self.

Maleficent in Sleeping Beauty: Theoretically getting stabbed is a terrible way to die. However, this one specifically is too epic to make the list. You turn yourself in dragon and go down in a blaze of glory.

Hades in Hercules: He doesn’t technically die because the only way to kill a god is by making him mortal. So, Hades is alive.

The List:

10. Shan Yu in Mulan and Tadashi in Big Hero Six

Method of Death: They died in explosions

This sounds painful, so why is this not higher on the list? Well, it also sounds like a quick death. Shan Yu became fireworks, which is a little cool. Tadashi died being a bamf hero.

9. Mother Gothel in Tangled

Method of Death: She rapidly aged to only get turned into dust

This sounds terrifying but it did not last very long. Flynn getting stabbed lasted longer. But he was brought back to life.

8. The Evil Queen from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs; Mufasa from the Lion King and Claude Frollo from the Hunchback of Notre Dame

Method of Death: Falling with style?

I call this falling with style because this isn’t just your classic Disney falling death, there’s a twist! The Evil Queen also has a rock crush her, if the fall didn’t kill her, the rock did. Mufasa didn’t just fall into the gorge, he was also trampled by wildebeest (he also wins for most heartbreaking). Frollo didn’t just fall from Notre Dame, he was also engulfed by hellfire. Multiple ways to die, all of them painful.

7. The Hydra from Hercules and Carnotaurus #2 from Dinosaur

Method of Death: They were crushed by rocks

You might die when a rock hits you on the head, quick death. Or it could be a long and painful death, you lie there wishing for death to come. Plus getting crushed by rocks scares me more then falling.

6. Rourke from Atlantis the Lost Empire

Method of Death: He got turned into a weird blue thingy then got decapitated

This is a weird one. If it was just decapitation, this would have not made it on the list. But Milo also stabs him, so he turned into a blue monster and I assume he was slowly suffocating. Then he found the sweet release of death when he got decapitated by a propeller. He tried to bring Milo down with him but Milo is a protagonist, he can’t die.

5. The Village in Mulan

Method of Death: Your village getting sacked

So many variables. I don’t know how I died, but none of the possibilities sound good. Did I get stab? Did they slit my throat? Did I get trampled by my fellow villagers running away? Did I get shot with an arrow? Did I die by fire? As a woman, did the Huns do things to me beforehand? None of these options sound good.

4. Sykes from Oliver and Company

Method of Death: He got hit by a train while in his car

This feels too real to me.

3. The Horned King from The Black Cauldron

Method of Death: He was consumed by flames and blood while being pulled into the Black Cauldron

So, this wins for more gruesome death. Also, when he’s getting pulled into the cauldron, his skin is ripping off. So, he’s on fire, his skin is being pulled off while getting sucked into a boiling magical cauldron. Please no.

2. The Oysters from Alice and Wonderland, The Rat from Lady and the Tramp, Scar in Lion KIng and Tarzan’s Parents in Tarzan

Method of Death: Being eaten

Yes, the Horned King should be higher but this is a personal fear of mine. I wake up from nightmares about being eaten. This is one of my worst fears. Now out of all these, I’m pretty Scar had it worse, because he was eaten alive. The Oysters were first boiled. Tarzan’s Parents were first killed before being eaten. And technically I have no confirmation that he Tramp ate that rat, but he did hunt it so he could save the baby, which the rat was trying to eat alive. So the rat is close enough to be on this list.

1. Doctor Facilier in Princess and the Frog

Method of Death: Drag down to hell

Let me write that again, he was dragged down to hell from his “friends” from the other side. This isn’t just a quick death, no! He is being tortured for eternity. This death isn’t a one time event, this is death will last forever and forever. Which is why, it’s the worst way to die in a Disney movie.

[dresupi]

“Dreamweaver” - Darcy/Pietro

Ship: Darcy Lewis/Pietro Maximoff For: Anon Song: “Dreamweaver” - Gary Wright - 1975 Rating: T Length: 1253 Tags: Lucid Dreaming, Phone Calls, Flirting

Part 2 of ?

Read Part 1 Here

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It took him longer than he’d originally hoped to secure Darcy’s number from Wanda.

His enhancement did not apply to muscle memory. The coma had left its mark on him. In the form of atrophy.

Apparently, no matter how much Dr. Cho and Wanda tried to move him, even hooking him up to machines that moved his legs for him, it didn’t stop the steady decrease of muscle mass that left him as weak as he could ever remember being.

The only difference between before Hydra and now was that his chest no longer burned if he exerted himself.  He didn’t get that hot, raspy, crushing pain in his throat.  But his legs ached like hell.

It wasn’t until a month after he awoke that Wanda slipped him a piece of paper with Darcy’s phone number scribbled across it.  He was struggling to do a single lap around the track at regular speed, let alone allowing that tingly feeling in his extremities to take over and zip him around.

“She did not come around at all while I was convalescing…” he lamented, looking at the digits scribbled on a post-it. “Is it worth it to call?”

“Yes,” Wanda replied. So quickly it even took him by surprise.

He tilted his head. “I am not stepping on your toes, am I?”

Wanda rolled her eyes. “In case you could not see past the end of your nose, I am seeing someone.  Not that there’s anything inherently wrong with Darcy, mind you… I just think she is more your type than mine.”

“Who are you seeing?” he asked, even more confused. “And when? You’re always here.”

Wanda smirked a little and shook her head. “Never mind that. Call Darcy.”

“Well, she did not come here after I awoke… perhaps she is trying to keep her distance…”

“You think I do not know things? You call her, you stubborn ass.” Wanda gave him a pointed look before turning to go back inside the compound.

“Hey…” he called after her. “I am not stubborn!”

“He said stubbornly,” Wanda trilled.

He folded up the paper and jammed it in his pocket. And then he made his way back up to the starting tick marks.  He felt the tingling presence in his fingertips and toes.  And he grabbed that feeling and held on as he zipped around the track, barely able to stop, so he turned and tumbled into the grass.

He exhaled roughly.

“Thought that would get you going!” Wanda called.

Pietro glared in her direction and got up, brushing the grass from his sweatpants and taking his place at the starting line once more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He slept well that night. Falling into a deep slumber within seconds of hitting the pillow.

She came into his dreams again.

Well, he wasn’t sure exactly what that state had been before. A dream, or something deeper? A coma was deeper than sleep, and she’d even said that Wanda had placed her there, so it wasn’t his own subconscious coming up with her.

So technically, this was the first time.

“That’s what you’re focusing on?” Darcy asked with a laugh. “You’ve got me here in your dream, and you’re going to go into the metaphysics of telekinesis and psychic hallucinations?”

“I guess you are right,” he said, standing up and walking around her.  “What do you suggest I do?”

“This is your dream, Pietro. You can do whatever you want.”

“Why have you not visited me?”

“Because you told me you’d call,” she countered.

He frowned. He wasn’t going to get a straight answer. She was dream-Darcy. Not real Darcy.

She smirked. “Guess you’ll have to call me yourself to get an answer to that, Wonder Boy.”

“I suppose I will. Do you think you are still awake?”

“It’s pretty late. Or early, depending on how you look at it. Might do better to wait till later on…” she twirled on her toes. “Whatever will you do with me until then?”

She reached for the top button of her blouse and Pietro moved like lightning, reaching out to grab her hand and stop her movements. “No,” he said stiffly.

Dream Darcy looked shocked. “A guy not wanting a sex dream with a girl he’s crushing on? That’s gotta be a first.”

He shrugged and dropped his hand. “The real thing would be better. Plus, you have not given me permission yet.”

“I’m kind of surprised… not gonna lie.”

That made two of them.

“One of us… I’m not real, remember?” she giggled.

“Nah,” he shook his head. “You are real. Just not in here.”

His eyes fluttered open to a dark room, his hand grasping for his phone, still on the nightstand, charging.

He had the text written before he could really make sense of what he was doing.

-”I really hope I am not waking you…”

He got a response almost instantly.

-”Do you know what time it is, Mister? I oughta tell your sister you’re not sleeping.”

He chuckled. “So I did not wake you.”

-”You might have… if I wasn’t up making tea. I had a weird dream and couldn’t sleep.”

He paused for a long moment, unsure of how to proceed.

But then he realized something. Putting on airs wouldn’t endear him to Darcy.

-”Want to call me and tell me about it?”

-”Absolutely, Wonder Boy.  Let me add sugar and I’ll give you a ring.”

He was startled. Hadn’t Dream-Darcy called him that too?

His phone buzzed in his hand and he answered it. “Wonder Boy?”

“I’m pretty sure that’s my line,” she retorted.

“No, I mean… why--”

“Oh, it was just something I started calling you while you were in the coma… ‘Pietro’ is a mouthful sometimes.”

He smiled. “Can I quote you on that, or--”

She scoffed. “Dude. Exactly no one will find it surprising that I said that, and exactly no one will think anything of it.”

He chuckled a little. “I do not remember you calling me that, though…”

Darcy laughed. “Wonder Boy? I mean, yeah, I did it all the time. It’s... like… you know… Hercules?”

“You think of me as Hercules?”

“Totally. Animated, and towards the beginning of the movie when he can’t even hold a sword. That’s you, Wonder Boy.”

“No, I mean… I had a dream about you… and you called me that…” He ran his hand over his comforter, tracing along one of the stitch lines.

“I don’t doubt it. I called you that multiple times a day while you were in a coma… I think the more pressing issue is that you were dreaming about yours truly, though.  In what manner? Lewd, crude, and nude?”

He guffawed in surprise, “No, actually…”

“Aww… I thought things were about to get interesting.”

“Are they not already interesting?”

“More interesting,” she amended. “And hey, didn’t I call you to talk about my dream? Not your boring ones about me?”

There was a distinct ache in his jaw as his grin widened. “Absolutely. Tell me all about it, princeza.”

“Okay, but as an aside, you can’t call me things like that and have me believe your dreams were tame.”

“We will have to agree to disagree, then. Now… tell me about your dream. I am listening.”

“Okay well. It started out underwater.  Everyone had flippers for feet and they turned into claws when something was chasing us. But, if they were claws, you couldn’t use them to swim.”

“Obviously,” he replied.

“Okay, so there was this bear, right--?”

[the-ink-bottle]

Live Blogging Disney’s Hercules

Okay I’m gonna start with the fact that Hercules was actually named Heracles, and Disney says that his parents are Hera and Zeus but REALLY he was the product of Zeus’ fling with Alcmene. Zeus named the baby after Hera so that Hera wouldn’t kill the little guy out of rage at her cheater husband. But for the sake of the movie we’ll stick with:

00:01: a weird museum full of vases and statues, featuring the muses. I’d like to point out that there are actually nine, versus the featured five. But we all know that these ladies have enough personality to cover those other four. I can JAM to that gospel truth. We next see a view of Mount Olympus. The real Mount Olympus isn’t actually all that big, and really it would have been easy for the Greeks to climb up there and SEE the gods they believed lived there. But they didn’t Do That, which I think says a lot about the Greeks.

00:04 “I haven’t seen this much love in a room since Narcissus discovered himself.” A great joke, but Narcissus was actually a human who was later turned into a flower.

In this scene, Zeus gives his newborn son a gift: a winged horse named Pegasus. Pegasus may have obeyed Zeus, but he was actually the son of Medusa after her rape by Poseidon. He never really had any contact with Hercules that I know of.

00:07 The Fates and their threads of life- creepy right? Well they weren’t actually like that. Disney’s version combines the fates with the Gray Sisters, who were featured in Percy Jackson as being all-knowing and sharing a single eye and tooth between them. The Fates had the power to end life, but they didn’t look the same or have quite the same knowledge.

00:10 So this is just gonna un-do the ENTIRE plot but, suffice it to say that Hades did not give a flying pterippus about Hercules OR Heracles. Hades is pretty well known for staying in the Underworld. He likes it there! Or rather, he hates being near his brothers. That and he isn’t exactly allowed to leave very often...

Anyways, Hercules greatest feats were actually the result of his punishment by King Eurystheus....more on that later.

00:17 A true thing! Hercules was indeed raised on earth, mortal, and strangled two large snakes when he was an infant. In the myth, however, the snakes were sent by Hera. (Fun fact: Hercules was a twin, but his brother, Iphicles, had no powers.)

00:20 Hercules’ song in the movie SLAPS. Go the Distance is a banger and Michael Bolton killed it.

00:23 Zeus tells Hercules that if he becomes a hero, his godhood will be restored. Now - where is the lie? This actually isn’t too far from the truth. His punishment from Eurystheus was to complete a series of labors. At the completion of these tasks, he would be purified of his crimes and be allowed to live on Olympus. What were his crimes? Well....we’ll get there. Patience.

00:31 This movie has a lot of great songs, mythology errors aside. Philoctetes may be a rapist and a creep, but he can sing well enough.

00:35 Now is the time when we finally meet Megara! Megara was indeed the first wife of Hercules. A bit of a downer here: Hera, in one her infinite attempts to ruin the hero’s life, drove Hercules insane one spring night. In his insanity he killed his wife and children. After coming to, he was sent to Eurystheus for punishment. Luckily, Disney skipped that part of the myth. That doesn’t necessarily mean Megara gets a happy story, as we’ll see later.

00:37 Hades is wildly interpreted by several different adaptations of myth. In this movie, he seems like a very sassy, stressed-out gay. To be fair a lot of the ancient greeks were bisexual, including Hercules! But I digress.

00:45 Hercules is faced with battling a Hydra, aka a dragon with multiple heads which regrow after being cut off. This was indeed a feature of the myth, as defeating the Hydra was one of Hercules’ tasks set by Eurystheus. In the myth, he is assisted by his friend and kin, Iolaus. The movie does a good job depicting this, even minus the help. The scene is followed by another SMASH of a song, Zero to Hero. It is during this musical montage that we glimpse his other achievements: the slaying of the Nemean Lion, for example, whose hide is later seen as a cloak around Hercules (peep the Lion King reference).

00:51 Hades: “What are THOOOSE”

00:56 There’s the Lion King ref I mentioned, among several other pieces of comedic relief following that scene with Zeus.

00:59 I CAN HEAR THE BEGINNING NOTES OF “I Won’t Say I’m in Love” AND I AM REAAAADDYYYY also peep the prick of cupid’s arrow in Megara’s back.

00:01 HERE IT IS THE SONG OF THE CENTURY GET IT SUSAN EGAN

01:06 I’m gonna take this time to point out a major change from the myth. Hercules never really had a “trainer” in any story I’ve read, unless you count the musical tutor who Herc killed for being too critical. In actuality, Philoctetes was another hero and friend of Hercules who was badly wounded at Troy. There was never a satyr rapist involved (a sapyst? A ratyr?)

01:15 Hermes is the chaotic good sassy gay and Hades is the chaotic evil sassy gay

01:16 The power of animation is making Megara look gorgeous even after being crushed by a pillar

01:18 If Hades’ hair is fire does that make him flamingly gay?

01:22 A total Orpheus and Eurydice moment, Hercules was never able to get is wife back from the dead in the myth. He did go to Hades in order to dog-nap Cerberus once, though.

01:23 Hades: “MR STARK I DON’T FEEL SO GOOD”

Finalé: Hercules is a great movie for little kids getting started on mythology. I’ve always loved the humor and sound track, even if almost everything is inaccurate.

Aaaand a bonus panel: my favorite meme

[orpheus-type-beat]

Hercules live blog

1. That opening number with the muses was a BOP omg

2. Pegasus came from Posideon and Medusa’s head Disney is erasing their love why

3. Dude the fates freaked me out as a kid. It’s interesting that they took the eyeball thing and added it to the the Fates

4. Also I’m not a classics major but I don’t think Hades trying to seduce the Fates is canon

5. You can’t kill a god, but you can make them mortal, and then kill them? So like you can kill a god it just takes multiple steps.

6. Canon Hera would be like “omg Hercules is gone, I’m so sad, like so sad I forgot to cry and started laughing instead lol

7. Hercules has disproportionally large feet and that’s why no one in town likes him.

8. “I just feel like... I belong somewhere else... like, just for example, Mount Olympus... or something”

9. I’m sorry it’s a good song but Hercules is not a tenor that’s just what it is.

10. “Somehow I’ll be strong” like that’s not literally your one singular trait?

11. Hypothesis: Hercules is literally just Jesus in this movie.

12. Hera did not love Hercules I repeat

13. Another thing this movie erases: Hercules in Ancient Greek myth is a giant dick who people put up with because he’s strong and fun at parties.

14. Not pictured: every other time Hercules landed on an island and it was just an island and they looked around and then left.

15. Danny Devito.

16. “They couldn’t go the distance” but Hercules can because that was his establishing song

17. Danny Devito should be every Yoda-like character in every movie including Star Wars

18. “What’s in Thebes?” “Thebians I guess”

19. The use your head joke worked better in Toy Story but it’s ok

20. The horseshoe thing was funny +1 point

21. “At least if I had any friends” Meg is a millennial we stan already.

22. Also immediately calls out rape culture we still stan

23. The Big Olive. I’m walking here. We understand

24. The plague of locusts thing was funny

25. Also that dude should definitely move to Sparta it’s great there

26. “Help I can’t breathe I’m suffocating but I’m yelling and using up all of my available oxygen”

27. Interpolating the lifting the rock to prove hero status from Jason was cool

28. The partially 3D Hydra in a 2D movie is very 90s Disney animation

29. Signing autographs with a chisel is funny af

30. The music is making me think about the Princess and the Frog and now I want to watch that

31. The lion is just Scar wow @ him next time

32. Meg is an icon and is way too cool for him

33. Hercules is completely non sexual in this movie that’s not canon either

34. “Your not like that” oof

35. The getting hit by Cupid’s (fake) arrow was actually a nice touch

36. Hercules is so pure in this movie I enjoy that

37. “No man is worth that” Meg is such a millienial what a mood still stanning

38. Also the muses ship this HARD

39. Also Meg you can fuck the statue of Hercules this is Ancient Greece remember you just have to believe

40. I’m having flashbacks to performing “People will say were in love” in Oklahoma that songs been written about 900 times

41. The female Pegasus has a tramp stamp

42. Hercules is very dumb

43. The moral of the story is love is bad and dangerous. Actually this is pretty Ancient Greek thematically

44. Hercules caught a case of emo from Meg

45. Hercules should be IMMEDIATELY dead on that first hit but ok he’ll be saved by the power of song maybe?

46. “Hey you ever watch this really old movie, the Empire Strikes Back??”

47. Why didn’t Meg just like prick her finger with a needle and give Hercules his strength back from the get go.

48. “I really was attracted to you” ok Pain we all see u

[debbiesblognvlog]

Tea Time: Cryptids 101

Sea Serpents

Sea serpents or sea dragons are a type of sea dragon monsters that live in a body of water and are notably known in the Mesopotamian (Tiamat), Hebrew (Leviathan), Greek (Cetus, Echidna, Hydra, Scylla), and Norse (Jörmungandr).

These monsters either help heroes or are monsters that heroes in mythology must defeat. In Norse, Jörmungandr or the world serpent is the middle child of Loki. According to the Prose Edda, Odin took Loki's three children from Angrboða (the wolf Fenrir, Hel, and Jörmungandr) and tossed Jörmungandr into the great ocean that encircles Midgard. Midgard is a name for the earth in Norse mythology. The serpent now encircles Midgard or the Earth with his body, and it grows so large that it can even engulf his own tail. That’s where the Ouroboros symbol comes from. In Greek mythology, there are four serpent-like monsters; Cetus, Echidna, Hydra, and Scylla. Cetus is described as a serpent but in other descriptions, it had the head of a boar. Echidna was a half-monster and half-serpent monster, and mother of many monsters in Greek mythology. Hydra is a serpent with many heads, and Hercules killed this creature. It is said that they protect the entrance of the Underworld. Scylla is a serpent creature that lives on one side of a narrow channel of water, opposite her counterpart Charybdis. She first appeared in Homer’s Odyssey, where Odysseus and his crew encounter her and Charybdis on their travels. In other myths, her origin story was that she was a beautiful nymph who got turned into a monster by a jealous enchantress called Circe. Circe poisoned Scylla’s bathing area over a man, Glaucus who fell in love with Scylla. In Hebrew mythology, the Leviathan is what they called the sea serpent. It is said, that it is an embodiment of chaos, and it threatened to eat the damned after their life. Christian theologies identified the Leviathan with the demon of the deadly sin envy. The Leviathan has been mentioned in Tanakh, Judaism, and Gnosticism. They refer to the Leviathan as a sea dragon with bright illuminating eyes and the ability to breathe fire. In other descriptions, the Leviathan had seven heads. In Mesopotamian mythology, Tiamat is considered a goddess of the sea who mated with Abzû, the god of the groundwater, to produce other gods.

In modern times, there have been plenty of reports of sightings dating as far back as 1555. Sailers, fishermen, and others would report the sea serpents and even go hunt for them. Most of the reports are debunked as large snakes that live in rivers or shallows. They are seen in pop culture like movies and games. For example, the God of War series, Elder Scrolls, Anaconda, and books.

With these mythical backgrounds, it leaves people to wonder, are the reports and stories true? They must have some truth to it, even if it’s an over-exaggeration or mistaken identity of another animal. Personally, I am open to the existence of sea serpents, though it is terrifying to think about. There was an enormous snake, and it did roam the earth for some time. The Titanoboa was one of the most massive snakes growing up to 48 feet. The fossils found were 42 feet (13 meters) long. These gigantic snakes ate crocodiles as a snack. With this massive snake roaming, it could be possible that something like this has evolved in a smaller size like an anaconda or the green boa and is undiscovered in the ocean. 80% of the oceans are still undiscovered, and who knows what's lurking in our waters. My purpose isn’t to discourage you from going to the beach or anything, it is simply to tell you that there are stories out there that seem far-fetched and others that, well, seem very possible. But as always, stay opened-minded and always stay saucy.

(Sorry for the one long blog, it is my birth week but I will make up for it very soon but let me know if cryptids are something I should write about more.)

Articles:

The Great American Sea Serpent→ https://blogs.loc.gov/folklife/2016/08/great-american-sea-serpent/

Sea Serpent→ http://www.realmermaids.net/mermaid-legends/sea-serpent/

The Great Sea-Serpent→ http://www.bioinfo.ulusofona.pt/Livros%20Online/Hist%C3%B3ria%20Natural/SEA%20SERPENT.PDF

The Serpent Chronologies→ https://ojs.library.dal.ca/NSM/article/view/6411/5659 (download pdf)

[mythology-rants]

Heracles VS Disney’s Hercules

Alrighty, if you’ve been reading this blog for more than a few entries you know that I really don't like Disney’s Hercules when it comes to comparison to mythology. There’s very little that I actually find really similar, not his feats, not the satyr, and the god relations to him and each other are horrendous. I really don't know where to start in telling you the differences. I guess we can start with the beginning of the movie.

           The movie Hercules starts out on Mount Olympus, with all the gods celebrating the new god Hercules’s birth to his father Zeus and mother Hera. One, Heracles is not a god until the end of his life, two, Hera is not his mother, she actually hates him because he was born because Zeus cheated on her with a mortal (like he does a million and one times in ancient Greek myth). Also I will state (read: shout) this again: Hercules is Roman! His Greek name is Heracles! Hera actually hates him so much that she delayed his birth so another family member became king, lead to him being left for dead (in this situation Athena takes Heracles to Hera to be nursed because at the time the queen of the gods didn’t recognize him, which gave him his supernatural powers) in his and his brother’s crib she sends two poisonous snakes that he manages to strangle with his meaty baby hands. Also in the movie, Hercules is given Pegasus who was created from clouds. Ahh, no and no, Heracles never rides Pegasus and Pegasus is the son of Poseidon and Medusa.

           Hercules fails to accurately portray his youth as well, instead of destroying things and finding out he is descended from gods, Heracles ends up killing his music tutor and sent off to a cattle farm to live more peacefully (newsflash: peaceful doesn’t happen). Sometime during this he is taught by the centaur Chiron. Not a satyr, no goats here. Later he goes to Thebes and marries the king’s daughter Megara. Unlike the movie, she is not a woman in service of Hades because a) this is not a Disney movie meant for good and happy thoughts, and b) Hades is not really a bad guy in mythology, but I’ll cover that another time. He has a few kids with Megara and during this time, Hera puts him into a fit of madness, which leads to him killing his wife and kids. To repent he goes to the Oracle to see what he must do to be forgiven. The answer is to be in the service of his cousin, King Eurystheus for ten years. The king decides on ten labors. Not very kid friendly right? No, it’s really not. Trust me, it gets worse.

           The first of the ten labors was to slay the Nemean Lion, a beast so great that it had impenetrable skin. No arrows, no beatings by clubs, no weapons could injure it. He only managed by using his massive strength to strangle the creature before skinning it with it’s own claws. He from then on used the skin as armor. While the movie does show him fighting a lion and later wearing a lion’s skin, he did not fight a river guardian first (he encounters a river guardian much later in life) and definitely did not have paintings of him done in the skin. He was a busy hero with much to do.

           The second labor was slaying the Hydra, which originally had 9 heads, unlike the movie’s one, and while the heads did keep growing two with every one cut off, Heracles did not defeat it by causing a landslide, as it did not live in a cave but a swamp. He also did not defeat it alone but his nephew helped him, as Heracles cut the heads, the nephew burned the stumps so it could not grow two more. During this time he was also being attacked by a giant crab sent by, who else, Hera, the crab was of course killed, by being stepped on by Heracles. Only the last Hydra head was immortal and was buried under a large rock. Heracles then dipped his arrows in the poisonous blood of the Hydra to make them even more powerful. However, when Heracles and Iolaus went back, the king refused to count the labor, because Heracles was given help.

           While there are another 10 labors after, I’m going to skip over most of them that aren’t really important to the movie and thus don’t fit for the contrasting between Heracles and the Disney movie Hercules. I am however going to highlight this, in the movie Hercules says he ‘wrestled the Gorgon’, no, just no. One, there are three Gorgons, Medusa was the mortal one and her two immortal sisters. Two, Perseus killed Medusa, by cutting off her head, and he just happens to be Heracles’s ancestor. Hercules never met a Gorgon thanks.

           One last labor highlight shows one very important difference, Hades is not the bad guy. The final labor of Heracles was to bring Cerberus, Hades’s triple headed guard dog, to the surface from the Underworld. King Eurystheus thought this would be the greatest way to get rid of Heracles forever, and of course, Heracles had to do it. So, he journeyed to the Underworld and went to Hades to ask if he could take Cerberus for the labor. Hades agreed on one condition, Heracles had to defeat the animal by his own strength. He succeeds and takes the dog to the king, and then lets the dog go, who ends up back at his post. Unlike the movie, Hades is not the villain, he just is there for a tiny portion of Heracles’s life. Hades is just generally an easy scapegoat for everyone’s villain because he is king of the dead. He isn’t even god of death, come on people, stop vilifying Hades!!! (Ok, I know my next post subject, Hades.)

           Remember how I said that Heracles encounters a river guardian/centaur later in life? Well here it is. Heracles married again later in life to Deianeira, and they came across a river. The only way for Deianeira to cross would have been on the centaur’s back, so she was put on his back and taken across the river. However, after they crossed the river, the Centaur, Nessus, decided to run off with her to try to have his way with her. Heracles was enraged and shot one of the Hydra poisoned arrows into the centaur which killed him. However before Nessus died he told Deianeira to take some of his blood and if Heracles ever turned to other women, the blood would make him return to his faithfulness to her. Later, Deianeira was worried about Heracles marrying another woman, Iole, so she sprayed the blood onto a robe and gave it to him. The blood however was corrosive and lead to Heracles dying a harsh, painful and slow death. He climbed onto a funeral pyre to die and after his mortality was burned away, Zeus took him as a new god to Mount Olympus where he was accepted by most of the gods due to his exploits. Hera’s daughter Hebe even became his wife. (Once again, gods marrying siblings.)

           I understand the Disney movie was meant to be child friendly, but there is a limit of how off you can be before it completely misleads people. Heracles and the Disney movie Hercules have many more differences than similarities, and while as a movie it is good for children, keep in mind that Heracles’s life was definitely not that child friendly. Hades, if I didn’t stop here, you’d be reading a book instead of a blog post.

[furederiko]

9 MARVEL CHARACTERS I WANT TO SEE IN THE CINEMATIC UNIVERSE

Just spitballing for fun here!

To celebrate September 9th, here are 9 Marvel Heroes I would like to see making their debut in the next phase of Marvel Cinematic Universe. By MCU, that means for the movies... NOT for TV. I'm not saying because the TV side is... bad (even if I do lean towards that conclusion, it would be a subjective opinion), but I just don't think TV would be able to do justice with these characters due to various constraints (budget, VFX quality, etc).

It's already widely reported that the 2019 "UNTITLED Avengers" will serve as the culmination of MCU since 2008. That means, the door to welcome new characters and IPs would be wide open. So these are the names I would like to see getting the spotlight, and perhaps, assemble into a new set of Avengers. One might easily notice that the names I'm including here are characters from the animated "Avengers Assemble" series. That's actually... INTENTIONAL. One, because that means Marvel Studios obviously has the rights to use them (or at least partially, like the Spider-Man characters). And two, because I want this post to have a similar look and feel. But I'm NOT leaving behind other characters who have yet to show up in that series. That's why there's a special 'Bonus' section afterwards... (^^)v

Now that the explanation is out of the way, let's start right away! Here they are, in alphabetical order:

Agent Venom

Coincidentally, the first one is already a tricky situation. Eugene "Flash" Thompson is a Spider-Man character, so the rights to him is owned by SONY. That company is already working on a "Venom" movie that might not (or might?) be part of the MCU, with Tom Hardy as the lead. On the other hand, a modern-bully version of Flash has already debuted in the MCU via this year's "Spider-Man: Homecoming", as brought to life by Tony Revolori. Of course, the prospect of seeing a talented actor like Revolori becoming a headlining hero, is just too good to ignore. Mind you, it might take him a very long time (until after the high school characters graduate?) before arriving in a possible bittersweet situation (in the comics, Flash had to lose his legs first). But overall, Marvel Studios has already sown the seed for Agent Venom's debut. I can only hope this idea will be realized somewhere in the future...

Hercules

Odd choice, huh? But hear me out. We haven't had a great Hercules movie for a long time (my favorite was still Disney's animated-musical version, and it differed massively from the mythology). So why not leave it to Marvel Studios to do justice for the figure, and make a HUGE name out of him? The comic version of Hercules Panhellenios is a struggling, washed-out, unemployed hero, who spends his time slacking around and being a disappointment to others. True to his metaphorical title as a fierce male lion, huh? This situation and condition would carry massive potentials to explore in the movies. He can also take over Thor Odinson's position to expand the MCU towards more Greek-based mythological stories. Would you like to see Herc fighting Cerberus or Hydra (the monster, not the NAZI organization) in live action? I sure do. Good ol' Herc has seen a return to spotlight recently, with his own solo comic series. So what an excellent time to promote him for his own movie too! Since Chris Hemsworth and Pratt are already in the MCU (IMO, both are giving off a strong Hercules vibe!), perhaps Marvel Studios can hire... I don't know, Joe Manganiello as the lead actor?

Hyperion

Another mythological-esque hero! Unlike Hercules though, Marcus Milton has a completely different origin, being descendant of... the Eternals. Yes, the "Guardians of the Galaxy" movie series have already introduced this powerful race, which means, the route to Hyperion's debut is more or less smooth sailing. Interestingly, Hyperion is well known as part of the superhero team "Squadron Supreme". That means, if ever Marvel Studios needs a 'replacement' for the Avengers, this group is a good candidate. Just like Herc, Hyperion has returned to the limelight with a new comic series lately, eventhough it was cancelled after a few volumes. I admit, being a copy/parody of a certain DC hero, the character doesn't really have deep potentials. But that's why I trust Marvel Studios to give him the push he needed! As for the actor, for some reason, I would love to see John Krasinski in the role. Dude was considered to be Captain America before, right? And he's not another Chris. LOL.

Inferno

We're back to another tricky business. Dante Pertuz is a relatively new character, a modern version of Human Torch that FOX doesn't own. LOL. He's introduced in the recent years with the NuHumans storyline, which exactly leads to THE tricky situation. Yes, he's an Inhuman, and his origin story is deeply connected to the Inhumans Royal Family (specifically Gorgon). We all know that Marvel TV had taken over the Inhumans IP and turn it into a TV series (complete with bad writing, bad design, bad reviews *smh*). I'm VERY concerned the division would also want to capitalize on Inferno to boost the show's appeal, and I personally don't think that's a wise decision. Visual-effect wise, Mark Kolpack has admitted that creating Robbie Reyes' Ghost Rider's flaming head and chains for the 4th season of "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D." was taxing and demanding. It's basically a movie-level VFX that required extra hours and patience, not something that can usually be rushed in a TV deadline. Now imagine doing that with Inferno, who emits flame from all over his body! But there's a bigger stake, here. You see, Dante's clearly a latino hero, and we haven't had one headlining an MCU movie until now. With his visual powers and relatable storyline (struggling with being Inhumans, a minority, rock star, and all), a movie would privilege Dante with the justice he deserve. I'm aware that highly likely Marvel Studios will be going with a cosmic Sam Alexander's Nova instead, and that's okay. But Inferno would be more current, if not more likeable choice.

Ka-Zar

Kevin Plunder came in to this list, with the same reason to Hercules. Because he's Marvel version of Tarzan! Hollywood has been trying to create a good Tarzan movie over and over again, and they're either an okay hit or a sad miss. As far as I know, none of them were ever able to please every audience, not even Disney's animated version. But Ka-Zar is different, because he carries more 'fantasy' than just trying to ape the King of the Jungle. The setting of his adventures, the "Savage Land" that's hidden deep in Antarctica, would be something magnificent to feature in the big screen. We've got Asgard, Kamar-Taj, Wakanda, why not add Savage Land too! Don't forget Zabu, his saber-toothed best friend, which would require massive CGI work. Suffice to say, the things I'm reading and hearing about Ka-Zar only leads to one conclusion: I want to see him in a live action movie! Now, who can portray him? Hmmm... a natural blond Brit like Charlie Hunnam, perhaps?

Ms. Marvel

All concerns I had for Dante, goes for Kamala Khan as well. Being a fellow Inhumans, there's been a rampant rumor recently that she'll be getting a TV series (supposedly the one John Ridley is working on). For me, that's a HUUUGE NOOOO. And due to THREE major reasons. ONE, similar to Inferno, TV budget won't be able to handle the VFX required to showcase her Inhuman ability with the right look and feel. Look no further than that underwhelming looking "Inhumans" series as example! Would you like to see an iconic figure like Kamala being reduced to a 'disaster' with the excuse of making her 'grounded'? You know, like what Marvel TV have already done to Medusa? I certainly DON'T. Kamala is basically the modern version of Mr. Fantastic, and we all know that even FOX have tried to do Reed Richards right in the movies several times, but still couldn't perfectly nail it. Downgrading this situation to a TV level would only make it worse. TWO, Kamala is a genuinely likeable and well-beloved character that easily captures the heart and attention of many readers throughout the world. If the 60s-90s had Peter Parker, Kamala's the youth representative for the modern world. Hip, cool, and current (being a social media freak and all), but also kind and caring... eventhough she's a triple-decker minority (Female, South Asian heritage, and Moslem) living in a racist country. Which leads me to the final reason. THREE, her story will have a MUCH BIGGER impact to the world as a movie. Releasing a Marvel Studios movie with her as the lead in an international market (including countries with Moslem as majority), would not only bank a great amount of money, but also sends the right messages: one, unlike its current government, Hollywood is NOT racist; two, that everyone can be a hero, regardless of their gender, race, and religion! Relegating a character this HUGE to a small-scoped TV series that not everyone can gain access to, would be a massive disservice. Kamala is the hero the world currently needs, so please don't undermine her into disappointments.

She-Hulk

Another tricky situation, though in this case, due to the confusing copyrights. Actor Mark Ruffalo has repeatedly said, that a Hulk solo movie won't be coming along the road because Universal has the distribution rights. What about his super-powered cousin, Jennifer Walters? It's unclear, but I can only assume that she has the same legal limitation. Thankfully, it also doesn't mean that she can't be used in a Marvel Studios movies. She just need to be included as part of an ensemble, that's all. The great thing about Jen, is that she's a lawyer and later a judge. Not only she's strong physically, but also academically. Won't that be a strong role model for young women and girls all around the world? We haven't really had a law angle in the superhero movies until now, with Daredevil occupying the Netflix universe. So bringing Jen into the light would be fresh and promising. As for who should play him, I don't have a particular choice, but someone with Award prestige like Emily Blunt, Charlize Theron, and/or Jennifer Lawrence would be a great get...

Songbird

Former villain turned Avengers? Yep, that premise alone would make a great story. Melissa Gold started off as a troubled woman, with broken family and harsh situation. Giving in to the world of crime (known as Screaming Mimi) was clearly her way to stay alive. Eventually she stumbled into the road of heroism with the Songbird moniker, and ended up becoming a full-time member of the Avengers. Just like the other characters I've included here, Melissa would be a great role model, especially for troubled teenagers. Her path of redemption proves that anyone, regardless of their past and issues, can be a hero too. An inspiring message that Marvel Studios need to share to the world. She doesn't sell enough as a solo movie? Well, then debuting her as part of the "Thunderbolts" would be equally okay for me. All the ingredients are already in the MCU anyway (Thunderbolt Ross, Helmut Zemo?). As for the actress, for some reason, I want to see Anna Kendrick in this role. Yeah, basically I just want to see her in a Marvel Studios movie, but I believe she would really bring justice to the gorgeous-designed Songbird.

White Tiger

We've already gotten an African "Black Panther", now it's time for a hispanic White Tiger! Her powers come from the mystical side, and since "Doctor Strange" has opened up the gateway to supernatural, we can have more heroes with this kind of origin story! I'm personally going with Ava Ayala, and not Angela del Toro, eventhough either of them would be wonderful. Why White Tiger? Same reason to Dante, and in a way, Kamala. Sure, the MCU have included numerous Latino actors who either got lost in the background (Jonathan Pangborn?), or turned out to be a scene stealer (looking at you Luis!!!), but we haven't really had a major hispanic hero in the MCU until now. More importantly, a female one! Debuting Ava in the MCU would also, once again, sends off a great message. The US government have been really discriminative about immigrants lately, including the hispanics. Putting Ava in the spotlight would remind everyone that South Americans CAN be heroes, and not criminals like what they're being wrongfully accused for. We truly need characters like this right away! As for who should play her, I'm currently setting my eyes on Gina Rodriquez of the hit series "Jane the Virgin".

Honorable Ment... SPECIAL ADDITIONS

The next characters are those who (as far as my memory serves) haven't made their debut in the "Avengers Assemble" series. So they sort of... didn't fulfill the basic requirement for my initial list. But it'd be unfair leaving them behind like that, right? That's why they are special 'Bonus' additions. Without further ado, in alphabetical order:

Brother Voodoo

For the record, I'm not being racist by sidelining the only black character to this section. The reason I put him here, is because his debut in the MCU movies is pretty much confirmed. Daniel Drumm, big brother to Jericho Drumm, has already made his appearance in "Doctor Strange" as the original protector of New York Sanctum Santorum. And director Scott Derrickson has already hinted that his death would lead to consequences, including the arrival of Jericho. Debuting Jericho as a sort of sidekick to Stephen Strange would be nice, but it would be much better if he gets his own movie too. Yes, there's an issue regarding his name, because using Voodoo might... well, attract criticsm. But titles can be tweaked, right? Considering Jericho ends up becoming a Sorcerer Supreme too, I believe he'll be perfect as the next black hero to headline his own movie.

Shang-Chi

I've already repeatedly mentioned that Marvel Studios NEED a major hero representing minorities, and this is another great candidate. Marvel Studios have brought several prominent Asian characters into the MCU, like Wong, Mantis (eventhough she's an alien), and Helen Cho. Yet they all share similar characteristic: they are all supporting cast. If Marvel Studios want to play it 'safe' and headline an East Asian lead character, then Shang-Chi is the go-to-guy. Nope, I'm not undermining him, but just pointing out how easy he would appeal to the audience. Shang-Chi is in a way, Marvel Comics' response to Bruce Lee. We all know that the world LOVES some Bruce Lee. And Shang is more than just a Bruce Lee copy, he's also a master of espionage who's determined to take down his own father's criminal empire. Pretty much a solid recipe for a James Bond-styled wuxia blockbuster hit, am I right! "Doctor Strange" has teased the use of martial arts to support magic, a hero like Shang would put it upfront as the star of the party. Marvel TV might have taken the stamp on Iron Fist (with mixed response), so Shang is the opportunity for Marvel Studios to do it RIGHT! Jon Woo, Ang Lee, or Jacky Chan can direct this, and as for the actor, Godfrey Gao is my top pick. But Ludi Lin, Philip Ng (star of the fictional Bruce Lee biopic "Birth of the Dragon"), or even Yoshi Sudarso (who is Chinese-Indonesian) would be fantastic nonetheless.

Spider-Woman

The last tricky affair of the day! Jessica Drew is called Spider-Woman, but she uses the 'Spider' moniker by name only, and unrelated to Spider-Man. That's why until now, it's currently unclear whether her movie rights is owned by SONY or not. She's actually one of the superheroine I've been itching to see in the MCU, but admittedly, these questions surrounding her place always put me on a weird crossroad. Drew is connected to Hydra, the High Evolutionary, and has always been a full-blown Avengers. And all of those screams MCU. She's also the best friend of Carol Danvers, so I honestly want to see her show up in "Captain Marvel". Her comic origin story sort of fits with "Captain Marvel" 90s setting too. Have Jessica encounter Carol when she was a child, then Jessica was put into stasis for years, only to wake up as a superpowered woman in the present day. And then she meets Carol again, and team up as the new Avengers. All's well ends well! I personally want to see Tatiana Maslany of the famous "Orphan Black" for this character, but Marvel Studios can always cast an Asian actress (like Constance Wu or Celina Jade) due to Drew's ambiguous background.

Young Avengers

This one initially started off with just William "Billy" Kaplan and partner Theodore "Teddy" Altman. A sweet pairing more famously known as Wiccan and Hulkling. My way of thinking was, it'd be rude and unfair to name just one of them, right? If Marvel Studios wants to go ahead and feature an LGBT representation, these guys are the one they should use. Is it possible? There's a hint that we'll be seeing Vision and Wanda Maximoff's relationship evolve in "Avengers: Infinity War". Perhaps somehow they end up bending reality, and Billy is magically conceived? Meanwhile, "Captain Marvel" confirmed that the alien race Skrull CAN be used in the MCU, so a half Kree-Skrull (his biological father is the original/male Captain Marvel) like Teddy is more than just possible. Basically, that movie is the only gateway needed for his debut in the MCU.

But then I began thinking. Why am I leaving behind Billy's twin brother Thomas "Tommy" Shepherd? Poor Pietro Maximoff was killed off in just one movie, why am I sidelining another Speed-ster? That's NOT right. Then the more I think of it, the bigger the scope gets. We have a Hawkeye and Ant-Man who are both fathers in the MCU. Why not include their protege/child? Katherine "Kate" Bishop might not be Clint Barton's daughter, but the two shared a special connection that would be great to depict on the big screen. And then there's Cassandra "Cassie" Lang who looks up to her father Scott, and aspires to be a size-shifting heroine of her own. Cassie has already debuted in the MCU as played by Abby Ryder Fortson, why not promote her into a hero too? And how could I miss out the lesbian latina America Chavez? Fitting in comfortably to all the diversity talk I've stated above, America is not only female, latina, she's also an LGBT representative. Another triple-decker like Kamala. JACKPOT!

So yeah, that's how I ended up with Young Avengers instead. If Marvel TV has "The Runaways", then Marvel Studios can have these equally (if not more prospective) young heroes! If we assume that we will no longer see the Avengers following the 2019 movie, then introducing the Young Avengers would be the most logical continuation. This movie doesn't even to take place in the present time, but a bit further in the future, or even in an alternate reality. That's the function of Reality Stone and Multi-verse, right? This team represents youth, fun, and diversity, sending all the right messages to the world. And at the same, enabling older actors like Jeremy Renner, Paul Rudd, Benedict Cumberbatch and others to serve briefly as mentor figures. There's also one other reason why this special team ends up being the last entry on this post (which is unintentional, to be honest): because I REALLY want them to show up in the MCU! \(*v*)/

So there you have it, the 9 (plus 4+) Marvel Heroes I want to see coming to the big screen. In the end though, this is nothing more than a personal opinion. It's obviously a very subjective thinkpiece, so anyone else might not have the same idea (if you do have your take, then do post them, I'd gladly read it!). I do however, hope that someone, anyone from Marvel Studios would somehow stumble upon this, read it, and put these names into considerations. I sincerely feel they will bring something NEW to the MCU, while continue conveying message of hope, inspiration, kindness, and good. After all, that's what Marvel Studios movies are for, right? Thanks for reading... enjoy your September 9th! Even if it might be just a regular day for most of us... XD

[religionandpopculture-blog]

Hercules and Religion

Films throughout the decades have been known to incorporate aspects of religion into their characters. For example in Superman, his origin story is explicitly Christianised and he is seen to be a Christ figure. Similarly, Disney’s Hercules also shows the intersection of Christian themes and tropes throughout the movie. Hercules was released in 1997, the movie follows a young Hercules,  the son of the Greek God Zeus. After conflict arises between Zeus and Hades, Hercules ends up on Earth and is forced to live among mortals as a half-man, half-god. Hercules, who throughout the movie is seen as a Christ- figure, needs to embark on his hero’s journey to prove himself worthy to the Gods on Mount Olympus to regain his full powers. It is evident throughout the movie are religious tropes of the Hero’s Journey, Christ-like figures and the American Monomyth. Throughout the movie, reception theory plays high importance in conveying religious meanings behind certain interactions of characters. Reception theory states that the authors or producers do not impose meaning; instead meaning is negotiated in a conversation between the viewer and the producer. This means that the audiences’ background and personal experiences play an important part in interpreting certain messages being communicated throughout the film (Clanton Jr, 2017, p. 45).

Religious incorporation can first be seen in the creation of Hercules as a Christ-like figure.  Before discussing how Hercules is a Christ figure, it is important to establish what a Christ figure is. There are two terms that are sometimes mistaken for one another; Christ figure and Jesus figure. Vredenburgh describes the differences between the two as, “ The Jesus figure representing Jesus himself and the Christ figure as a character who resembles Jesus in a significant way.” (Vredenburgh, 2016, p. 1).  This distinction is important because Hercules is not playing Jesus in the movie, instead, his character and his attributes are similar to Jesus, making him Christ-like. Detweiler describes the Christ figures as a mythological archetype. He states that, “Christ as a mythological archetype can be made to serve any number of functions. He can be understood as the embodiment of the good and moral man who suffers for his goodness.” (Detweiler 115). This description is similar to the description of Hercules during the movie. Hercules suffers from trying to do his community good, but due to his super strength, he often ends up destroying things.

The film also uses the trope of the hero’s journey throughout the film. The hero’s journey is described as, “ a metaphorical representation of the cyclical processes of separation/departure, initiation, and return of characteristic development across personal, societal, and spiritual domains” (Roberston & Lawrence,  2015).  This journey is known to follow the pattern of the hero venturing away from the known into the unknown. In this unknown religion, supernatural forces are encountered. A decisive victory is then won and the hero comes back with the power to bestow it amongst his fellow peers. A religious example of this journey can be seen in Buddha and Moses. Hercules starts this journey when he learns of the truth of where he is from, he then ventures on a quest to prove himself to be a God on Mount Olympus. During his journey, he is faced with multiple battles between monsters, Titans and the evil Hades. Finally, after Hercules defeats Hades, he proves himself to be a God and is bestowed his full powers.

Throughout the film, there are many nods to religion. The first has to do with the characters Zeus and Hades. Both of these characters can be seen as representing God and Satan.  Zeus is introduced as the leader of the gods but as also the leader of people on Earth. Similar to the Christian God, Zeus has the highest power above everyone else. In the film, he and other gods also appear to have a halo effect, reflecting the glow of God’s halo in Christianity. Hades, on the other hand, can be compared to the biblical character of Satan due to his flaming hair and associations with the underworld and fire make him appear to look evil. Along with the fact that Hades is trying to overrule Zeus and kill Hercules who stands in his way to the throne, this can be compared to how Satan wants to undermine Jesus and guide him to temptation, straying him from his journey. Using reception theory, although there are obvious distinctions between Hades and Zeus, to someone who does not have a biblical background, the distinctions between these two characters may just be seen as good versus evil. To someone who comes from a different religion, while watching this movie, these two characters might be seen as different representations in their religion.

The American Monomyth describes a situation where seen a community is being threatened by evil and their normal institutions fail at controlling this threat. A selfless hero is then said to emerge and conquer this threat. In Hercules, the American monomyth can be seen in a scene where Hercules is being challenged by Hydra and ends up saving the town. When Hercules visits the Twilight Town, Phil describes it as “a city in turmoil.” The scene then shows a group of civilians talking about the terrors that they have encountered. A flood, an earthquake, a fire, and the “rising crime rate.”  A civilian then states, “all we need now is a plague of locust.” This sentence references the 10 deadly plagues of Egypt, seen in the Book of Exodus. 

Using reception theory, the meaning behind this phrase depends on the audience’s religious background. This biblical reference of the deadly plague can only be given meaning if the audience is aware of this biblical context. To those who do not understand the biblical context, when a locust appears in the film and the civilians freak out, they may not fully understand why. 

Following this scene, Hercules is faced to battle the Hydra (a 3 headed monster) that comes out from the cave and poses a threat to the rest of the community. Once Hercules defeats the Hydra, the community cheers and he is known from going from Zero to Hero. Due to his bravery, he is seen as a hero in the eyes of the community. The scene continues into a musical, which illustrates Hercules’s rise to stardom and the various monsters he has encountered and defeated. This scene represents the American monomyth because Hercules is seen and treated as a hero after he saves the community from the horrors of these monsters.

The images shown throughout the musical sequence also represent American culture and mass production of goods. Throughout the musical, it is seen that after Hercules gained his status of being the town’s hero, he was instantly inserted into stardom. He is seen signing autographs and having crowds of screaming fans, similar to how celebrities in American culture are treated. 

His face is also placed on a credit card, which can be compared to how faces on bills in countries such as Canada and America, have high importance. 

He is also seen opening up his Hercules shop, which contains his own pair of sneakers, Air Herc. Which is similar to how celebrities come out with their own fashion lines and partner with companies like Kanye and his Yeezy shoes.

 Lastly, Hercules is seen promoting an ad while drinking Herculade. This can be a nod to how celebrity and athletes promote drink and food products as seen in Gatorade advertisements.

Hercules was directed by Ron Clements and John Musker, both American directors (“Hercules 1997 film,” n.d). During the writing of the script, both directors did intensive research of the world of Greek mythology. They came to the conclusion of not going with Hercules’ traditional story due to the infidelity of Zeus outside his marriage is a difficult subject matter for Disney audiences (wiki). The directors were also said to be inspired by, “the correlation of the popularity of Hercules in comparison to that of sports athletes and celebrities in the contemporary era” (“Hercules 1997 film,” n.d). This inspiration can be seen in their work of creating Hercules as a celebrity in Twilight town. Hercules was also produced by Walt Disney Pictures and Walt Disney Feature Animation. The importance of the film’s production company can be seen in their target audience and the message the film is trying to convey as being about hopes and dreams. In the production notes from the film, Disney’s Vice President said that the film is “about the idea of strength, of who you are and what character is. It also deals with the notion of what a celebrity is.” This was an important film for Disney because it was the first film that was based on a classical myth rather than a fairy tale  (Pinsky, 2004, p. 175). After its release, the film received many positive reviews. It received a score of 83% on rotten tomatoes and critics praised the portrayal of the character Hades (“Hercules 1997 film,” n.d).  The film came to earn $252.7 million in box office revenue worldwide and was nominated for an Oscar at the 1997 Academy Awards (“Hercules 1997 film,” n.d).

Throughout the film Hercules, there are many instances of use of religious and cultural tropes including the Christ-like figure, the hero’s journey, and the American monomyth. Hercules is an American film that not only reflects religion but also American culture.

Bibliography 

Clanton Jr, D. (2017). Reimagining Religion in the Man of Steel. Religion and Popular Culture in America. 

Detweiler, R. (1964). Christ and the Christ Figure in American Fiction. The Christian Scholar, 47(2), 111-124. Retrieved from http://www.jstor.org.myaccess.library.utoronto.ca/stable/41177375

Hercules 1997 film. (n.d). Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hercules_(1997_film)#Production

Pinsky, M. I. (2004). The Gospel according to Disney: Faith, trust, and pixie dust. Louisville, KY: Westminster John Knox Press.

Robertson, D. L., & Lawrence, C. (2015). Heroes and mentors: A consideration of relationalculturaltheory and “The Hero’s journey”. Journal of Creativity in Mental Health, 10(3),264-277. doi:10.1080/15401383.2014.968700

Vredenburgh, S. (2016). Screen Jesus: Portrayals of Christ in Television and film. Journal of Religion and Film, 20(3), 0_1,0_2,1-10. Retrieved from http://myaccess.library.utoronto.ca/login?url=https://search-proquestcom. myaccess.library.utoronto.ca/docview/1860270444?accountid=14771

[creeshtar]

I was asked to answer these, so here we go!

Mercury: What’s your full name?

Crysta Rollison (It’s not a typo, I swear, my first name does not have an ‘L’ at the end, I’m like the fairy from Fern Gully)

Venus: What’s your first language?

English

Earth: Where’s your home?

Washington State

Mars: What’s your sexuality?

Asexual (with a romantic inclination towards women)

Jupiter: Do you have any siblings?

Yep, 5 of them, all younger

Saturn: Any pets?

That are specifically mine? Just one, a troublemaking cat named Sully. Otherwise, in the house I live in, there are 3 additional cats (Stan Lee, DC, and Marvel) and a dog (Emily).

Uranus: What’s your hobby?

Drawing, writing, reading, and crocheting, off the top of my head.

Neptune: When’s your birthday?

6th of December

Pluto: What time is it right now where you are?

Almost 11am

Moon: What are you currently studying/hope to study?

I’ll be starting college this summer quarter (finally), and I’m hoping to study either engineering or physics or something of the like. Not entirely decided yet, so we’ll see.

Centaurus: Favourite holiday?

I don’t so much have a favorite holiday as much as a favorite holiday season. Like I love the christmas/holiday season, but the actual holiday itself isn’t quite the grand finale it was when I was a kid.

Orion: Favourite month?

I don’t know that I have a favorite month?? It might be September/October though. I really love that transition from summer to autumn.

Cassiopeia: Favourite book?

There definitely isn’t just one book. I love the Harry Potter series, pretty much every series by Rick Riordan that I’ve read (I’m way behind), and the Protector of the Small quartet by Tamora Pierce.

Delphinus: Favourite study?

Like. Favorite subject? I’m going with that. Surprising absolutely no one, it’s astronomy. But also mythology.

Hercules: Favourite instrument?

I don’t know how to play much, but the piano.

Gemini: Favourite song?

Probably Storytime by Nightwish

Pegasus: Favourite place to be?

Lately? The ocean.

Libra: Favourite colour?

Used to be green, but lately I think it’s purple. Too bad purple and green don’t go well together.

Phoenix: Favourite thing to wear?

I have a propeller hat that’s really great. The propeller glows in the dark too.

Aries: Favourite movie?

Again, multiple answers. I love just about any animated Disney movie (particularly any from their renaissance period). Also Suckerpunch, it was just. Really cool.

Cygnus: Favourite weather?

Those days where it’s really bright and sunny, but the air is crisp and cool (those sunny autumn days, basically)

Hydra: Favourite sound?

An interesting question... the only sound that comes to mind is the sound my mind makes when I see “uwu” or “owo” which I can’t really describe with words.