#like pls he needs some good results so he can stay with a team for once

[nnato]

What a weekend. Got some more pictures from today’s autograph session and will probably drop them over the course of the week but all I wanna do rn is sleep lmao

[thepersonnamedsam]

radio

pairing: the genz!driver x team x 23!grid

summary: some team radios of our beloved genz!driver

warnings: some swearing

note: oh i hope you all will like what i did here, it took me a hot minute, soo, pls don’t be a ghost reader

our genz!driver doesn’t drive for a specific team (pls imagine which ever is your fav), so the colours of the team radio will be violet, bc it’s not used :)

masterlist / taglist

Bahrain 2023

Q2

- „Okay y/n, you made it into Q2! Let’s keep that same pace you had in Q1“

- „Oh did you hear that? Where did Oscar place??“

- „Piastri is out in Q1, P18“

- „Wooh!! Oscar owes me 50 bucks!!! He lost the bet, he lost it! He didn’t think I’d out-qualify him!“

End of Qualifying

- „Good job, y/l/n! Thats P12 for you! Great start of the season“

- „Yeah baby! I’m the new Smooth Operator, Smooth Operator!“

Race

- „Uhm guys, I think there’s something wrong with my car…“

- „What is it, y/n?“

- „I just overtook Charles, how is that even possible?! Wtf guys, am I that fast?“

- „Oh my god, y/n, you had me stressed out here. I really thought you had technical problems for a second“

- „No worries, I’m just faster than a Ferrari“

—

- „Radio check“

- „It’s a cruel summer!“

—

- „Tell me, tell me how we finished, how I finished?!“

- „P11 baby!“

- „Uh, yeah, who’s almost in the points?!“

- „YOU!“

—

Saudi Arabia 2023

FP2

- „Tell me, is Danny here?“

- „Yea, why?“

- „Can you tell him I said hi? Please“

- „Uhm, sure I can, why?“

- „I just promised him yesterday I‘d give him a shoutout from the track, hahaha“

Q1

- „Okay, y/n, let’s get into Q3 today!“

- „Let’s gooooo!“

- „Could you not scream into the coms, please?“

- „WOHOO!“

- „y/n…“

- „Love you“

- „I don’t…“

- „You totally do“

- „I don’t“

- „You dooooo“

Q2

- „P12, good job y/n“

- „Could’ve gone better“

- „It’s a good result, y/n“

- „But still no Q3“

- „Hey, y/n, cheer up, it’s the same result as last race“

- „I thought we improved, I thought I improved“

- „We can still climb up the ladder“

- „As if, I’m not good enough for that many overtakes, I can defend, but that… I don’t know man“

- „Hey hey, listen to me, y/n. You deserve that spot in F1, you’re young and you’re learning with every race, with every test. I know you’ll be champion one day. Maybe not this race, but you’re gonna go far, kid“

- „…“

- „Are you crying, hahaha?“

- „Let me be emotional, dipshit“

- „Oh Lando is gonna have a field day with this, hahaha“

- „Please don’t show that to Lando“

- „Come to the garage first and we can discuss it“

Race

- „Radio check, y/n“

- „Vamos a la playa“

- „Loud and clear…“

—

- „FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, SHIT, SHIT, DAMN, WHY DOES IT NEVER GO MY WAY?!“

- „Unfortunate events, retire the car, y/n“

- „UNFORTUNATE?! STROLL JUST STOPPED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD AND I HAD TO BREAK SO HARD NOT TO CRASH INTO HIM THAT I CRASHED INTO THE WALL!“

- „It is what it is“

- „Don’t meme me, I’m mad… haha, okay, thank you“

Australia 2023

Q2

- „Good pace, y/n, let’s keep it that way and we’ll make it into Q3“

- „Alrighty mighty“

- „Cringe“

—

- „AND THATS P9 FOR YOU“

- „Huh?“

- „P9“

- „I’m into Q3?! Am I really?“

- „Yes! Yes you are!“

Q3

- „Whoop, whoop, that’s the sound of the police“

- „Whoop, whoop, that’s the sound that I need“

- „P10 baby“

- „P10!“

Race

- „Hi y/n, you’re doing really good out there, bring 'em home for me, will ya?“

- „Danny?“

- „Yes?“

- „Hi Danny“

- „Hi, y/n! You’re currently P9, with 0.548s to Piastri“

- „Okay“

- „Let’s push and stay in the points!“

—

- „YOU‘VE CROSSED THE FINISH LINE AS 7TH!!!“

- „THOSE ARE 6 POINTS, RIGHT?“

- „YES!“

- „It’s all because of Danny!“

- „I’ll gladly let him know“

Miami 2023

Race

- „I- help!“

- „What’s going on? y/n talk to me“

- „I don’t think my break is working“

- „y/n, we are going to retire then, box box“

- „I’ll try for one more lap“

- „No you won’t“

- „I will“

—

- „I think it’s fine“

- „…“

- „Yea, it’s fine, I can brake normally, hihi, sorry for the worries“

- „You’re a menace, y/n“

Monaco 2023

FP1

- „Monaco baby, the land of pretty people and expensive things, I am home“

- „Why’s that, you’re not from Monaco, y/n“

- „I am pretty and expensive therefore I am home“

Race

- „Radio check, y/n“

- „NOT NOW“

- „Noted“

—

- „I don’t feel pretty“

- „Sucks for you“

- „Man, that’s a shit move“

- „Sucks“

—

- „Okay y/n, you’re currently P11 with 0.639s behind DeVries, let’s push to P10“

- „DeVries? Nyck is P10? What happened?“

- „I don’t know, let’s just push him off of P10“

- „Harsh“

- „I’m a bad bitch“

- „Fuck that bitch“

—

- „Great job, y/n P10!“

- „Where is DeVries?“

- „P12“

- „Who overtook him?“

- „Bottas“

- „HAH!“

- „Be nice“

- „Ugh“

Montréal 2023

FP3

- „You are currently P3, I repeat, you are currently placed on P3“

- „Who’s pranking me? Max? Lando?“

- „No one, you ARE P3!“

- „WHAT?!“

- „Let’s take that pace into qualifying“

- „Uhm, yea, definitely“

Q2

- „What’s my time?“

- „1:18.725“

- „And Max‘s?“

- „1:19.092“

- „WHAT?“

- „You are P1, y/n“

- „Are you kidding me?“

- „I would never“

- „Mhm, but really? P1?“

- „I swear to god, P1“

Q3

- „Fuck! Shit! Holy macaroni fucking meatballs! I crashed, I repeat, I crashed“

- „Yea, we saw, retire the car“

Race

- „P7, good job!“

- „Thanks…“

- „Oh and y/n, you’ve been voted driver of the day“

- „Really?“

- „Really“

- „Firstly, I wanna thank the ground, because without it, I wouldn’t be standing here today“

- „That only works if you’re really standing somewhere, y/n, you’re sitting in an F1 car“

- „Then I’d like to thank my F1 car…“

- „I deactivated your coms“

Austria 2023

Sprint Shootout

- „What exactly is a Sprint really?“

- „Oh my god, really y/n?“

- „No… of course not…“

—

- „Great job, you placed P13“

- „Mhm, thanks… I‘m thirsty“

- „…“

- „Did no one hear me? I want my drink, where is the drink?“

- „You will not have the drink“

- „Oh you waited so long for that, didn’t you?“

- „No…, yes“

- „Kimi is a legend.“

Sprint

- „I don’t like this Sprint thingy“

- „Why?“

- „I don’t know, just because“

—

- „P15“

- „No good job?“

- „Not today“

- „Understandable“

Race

- „I want to go home, I am tired of this“

- „What?“

- „It’s getting boring with Max always leading and winning“

- „Thats why we need to push as hard as we can“

- „As if I’ll ever overtake Max“

- „One day, y/n, one day“

- „But not today, that’s why I want to go home“

- „You can’t“

- „Loser“

Silverstone 2023

FP2

- „Why do I not see Charles on the grid?“

- „Why do you have time to look at the screen and not see Charles on there?“

- „You should be driving“

- „I am“

- „Clearly not fast enough“

- „Hey, I am faster than you think“

- „You are currently driving with a speed of 156 km/h“

- „How do you know that..?“

- „I am your race engineer, I know everything“

- „Did you know that I just farted, hahaha?“

- „Unfortunately“

- „Hihi“

- „You’re gross“

- „Thank you“

- „Welcome“

—

Race

- „If Lewis stands on that podium, he owes me a dinner“

- „And if he doesn’t?“

- „I owe him a pity dinner“

- „And if you stand on that podium?“

- „Thats unrealistic, that’s why we didn’t bet on it“

- „True“

- „HEY!“

- „You said it first!“

- „Not a reason for you to call it out!“

- „Women“

- „I heard that“

- „You were supposed to“

- „Less talking, more driving!“

- „Yes boss“

- „Yes boss“

—

- „Omg, omg, omg, tell me I crossed that line without a single penalty and we don’t get a grid penalty? Please tell me this is true?“

- „YOU ARE P4 Y/N“

- „Am I really?“

- „Yes!“

- „If it weren’t for the safety car you would’ve been P3!“

- „I don’t care! It’s my best result so far!“

- „So near and yet so far“

- „Lew is P3?“

- „Yep“

- „P4 and I get a free dinner from Lew, what a day“

- „Be proud and loud“

- „WOOHOO!!!“

- „Maybe not so loud…“

- „Sorry not sorry“

Hungary 2023

FP1

- „Oh Danny Ric is back on the grid!“

- „Mhm“

- „Aren’t you happy to see my favourite person driving again?“

- „Totally“

- „Be happy!“

- „Okay…“

—

- „Oh… I just passed Danny“

- „You are on your flying lap, he needs to let you pass..?“

- „Yeah… but he needs a positive experience on his first race back…“

- „HES THE ENEMY“

- „He’s my best friend…“

- „Does he know that?“

- „Uhm, I hope so“

Race

- „Tell Lando he’s doing a great job“

- „Just drive“

- „Okay…“

—

- „Lando says thank you, by the way“

- „For what?“

- „Just forget it“

- „Okay“

—

- „Oh, for that! You’re welcome, Landi“

- „It took you 4 laps to realise“

- „My brain is sometimes slow, let me be“

- „I would if I could“

—

- „Oh how I hate Perez“

- „It’s mutual“

- „Hihi“

—

- „Radio check“

- „I am so glad that the summer break is right in front of me, just 33 more laps and it’s me chilling on the beach, getting tan and reading good books and you know, that’s how my dream life looks like and…“

- „How can she be so talkative but still be on for a podium? It’s a mystery for me“

- „And Lando and me oh and Danny will go on vacation together. Maybe Lewis will come as well. I want to go to the Maldives but we’ll see. Oh and you know what would be cool? If we really…“

- „Is she still talking? Yep…“

- „I could learn how to surf and eat loads of stuff and just relax“

- „So you finally decided to stop speaking and concentrate on the race? Great job, y/n“

- „Thanks!“

—

- „Thats P5 for you! What a race to start the summer break“

- „Thank you so much“

- „We’ll see us in 3 weeks!“

- „Byeeeee“

°°°

@ironmaiden1313 , @topguncultleader , @biglittlesecret, @gulabjamooon , @lovelyy-moonlight , @peachyplumsss , @mistrose23 , @copper-boom , @love4lando , @champomiel , @serenityleah , @iloveyou3000morgan , @angelwithoutmywings , @elleeeee21 , @youkissedareaderinthedark , @mikauraur , @thybulleric , @lpab , @fdl305 , @mellowarcadefun , @teti-menchon0604 , @vildetry06 , @bibissparkles , @aurora-maria , @lunnnix , @sya-skies , @Buckywifeyy , @dakotali , @rechtrecht , @noncannonships , @1eclerc16 , @pitlanebabe , @sopheeg , @avengersheart , @thatsadsmallchild , @peachiicherries , @idkiwantchocolatee , @callsign-scully , @mehrmonga , @badbatch-simp24 , @lissyontour , @din0nugs , @elliegrey2803 , @gay-for-victoria-de-angelis , @10vely-yutazen , @daggersquadphantom , @azriel-the-shadowsinger , @i-love-scott-mccall

[mountttmase]

i love your mm smut, you are an incredible writer xx

could u write more pls?

A Deal’s A Deal

Note - Thank you so much lovely anon 🥹 I wrote this a while ago after the Bournemouth game and wasn’t sure when to post it but figured his birthday seemed appropriate. Subby Mase makes me weak 🫠 happy birthday baby boy 🥹

Pairing - Mason Mount x Reader

Word count - 2.7k

Warnings - fluff & smut

You knew Mason was nervous about the game today, after a string of losses and bad results before the break, he knew how much the team needed a win today.

The boys were allowed to stay home the night before, meeting up just before midday and you’d spent the majority of the morning in bed with mason. He’d been awake for a few hours before you and once you’d finally woken up yourself, you both lay there whilst he told you his troubles and you thought of ways to fix them together.

‘I just don’t want to be a disappointment’ he sighed, his head on your chest as he traced random shapes on your ribs. You rested your cheek on the top of his head, your fingers tracing similar patterns on his arm as you scratched his scalp gently.

‘Mase, you’re far from a disappointment’

‘I see what people say about me’

‘Mason’ you huffed, trying to shuffle down a bit to look at him but he nestled into you more so you you couldn’t. ‘Please don’t listen. I know it’s hard but you should focus on what the people care about you think, not what stupid twaty knobs online have to say’

You felt him chuckle, his eyes looking up to yours with a slight sparkle in them. ‘Stupid twaty knobs, yeah?’

‘Yes Mason’ you laughed ‘you know what I mean. So what if Jerry from the arse end of nowhere thinks you’re shit? So many well respected people adore you. I adore you’ you told him, pulling him to you tighter as you placed a few kisses on his head.

‘You really do know how to make a man feel better’ he murmured, kissing over your collar bones before reaching up to kiss you properly. ‘You fancy making me feel even better right now?’ he winked, grabbing at your waist and hovering over you.

‘Nuh uh’ you know the rules. No sex before a game’ you told him and he pouted in response. ‘Don’t give me that face, it was your rule’

‘I know but I want you’

‘Well you’ll have to wait till later’ you told him, and his eyes met yours in a hopeful stare. ‘Tell you what, score a goal for me later on and I’ll let you do whatever you want to me when you get back’

‘Really?’ He asked, his eyes hopeful like a kid at Christmas.

You nodded, giggling at the way his face lit up. ‘Of course. Go out there and prove to me what I know you can already do, and when you get home I’ll take care of you however you want’ you winked before he lent down to kiss you slowly.

‘Deal’ he breathed as he pulled away from you. Kissing along you jaw and down your neck.

‘Hey, don’t touch what you haven’t earned’ you smiled before climbing out from underneath him. ‘You want some breakfast?’ You asked and he nodded at you shyly before grabbing your outstretched hand and following you downstairs.

——————————

You and Masons whole family were at the bridge to watch him play, and you still got the overwhelming feeling of pride watching him step out onto the pitch.

You saw him look up to where he knew you would be sat, his eyes trying to find you in the crowd. You knew instantly that he had when you could just about see the corners of his mouth pull up into your favourite smile.

He was having a good game by all accounts, and when he kicked the ball into the back of the net, you and everyone around you jumped to their feet to cheer for him. He ran to your side of the pitch, pointing up to your section and whilst you told all the kids that goal was for them, you knew what it really meant.

Once the game was over, you met Mason out back with his family, standing back a bit so he had a chance to speak to them all first. Once it was your turn, he pulled you into him, his hands that were resting on your lower back were moving down to your bum so you tapped him on the arm in a warning but he managed to give it a quick squeeze before pulling back.

‘Congratulations, Mason. I’m so proud of you’ you whispered and he winked at you before pulling you into a kiss.

‘Thank you baby’ he breathed, his eyes dancing all over your face as he smiled at you. ‘You better be ready for me when I get home’ you giggled into his neck, too shy to say anything back in front of his family before you were pulled apart so he could make his way back to the team and you could head home.

You thought about him the whole way home, happy that he’d had a good game so it would put his mind at rest a bit. You knew you shouldn’t since most of the crap on twitter that was said about Mason made you feel sick and angry, but you indulged yourself, reading tweet after tweet about how well he’d played and you couldn’t help but smile.

Once home, you grabbed a shower and changed into one of masons favourite underwear sets you owned. Chelsea blue and lacey and it sent him nuts every time he saw you in it.

He was home soon after, pulling you into a hug and kissing you softly. His fingertips dipped into the back of your joggers, and he slightly frowned when he felt the lace. He pulled back, tugging at the waist just a little and as soon as his eyes caught onto the blue material, they lit up as he knew exactly what you had on underneath. He let out a yawn and you looked at him with a sympathetic smile.

‘We can do this tomorrow if you want, I bet you’re exhausted’

‘No way, all I’ve been thinking about since this morning is being in between your thighs, so get that pretty little arse of yours upstairs and go wait for me, yeah?’ He murmured, kissing you softly before releasing you to go upstairs.

You dimmed the lights as soon as you walked in, lighting a few candles and popping on some background music before he walked in. He didn’t say a word, just silently undressed himself down to his boxers and took a seat on the end of the bed before holding his hand out for you. You took it and let him pull you into him. His hands resting on your hips and you ran your fingers through his hair.

‘A deals a deal Mase, what do you want’ you whispered and you heard him growl lightly as he kissed over your ribs.

‘I want these off’ he murmured, tugging on the waist of your joggers to encourage you to remove them. ‘And your top too. But leave the underwear on’ he told you and you undressed yourself as he got comfortable against the headboard. When he saw you were down to your underwear just as he’d asked, he tapped his thighs, signalling he wanted you to straddle him.

‘You want me on top?’ You questioned as he helped you sit on his lap, his hands drifting up and down your waist as his lips kissed their way up your neck to your ear.

‘I want you to take control tonight, show me how good you can be for me’ he growled and you felt your insides quake at his words, pulling him into a heated kiss almost instantly. Mason was tired, hence why he wanted you on top so he didn’t have to do as much work but you were more than happy to oblige. Every time he scored the intense need to make him feel good took over you and it wasn’t long before you were grinding your hips down onto him. He moaned into your kiss and you felt him harden underneath you as his hands moved down to grip your cheeks as he helped you move over him.

When he was ready, he held you off him so he could tug his boxers down just enough to free himself before moving your underwear to the side. You grabbed a hold of his length, running it up your folds a few times before lining him up and sinking slowly down.

You watched his face the whole time, noticing how his eyes were shut, his head lent back to expose his neck but you could still see the way his eyes rolled to the back of his head as you shifted down onto him. Kissing his Adam’s apple as it bobbed in his throat.

Mason was a pretty vocal lover, but when you had him like this, underneath you and completely at your mercy it was a whole other story. Sure he liked to make out that he was still in control, telling you he wants to see how good you can be for him, but in reality it was how good Mason could be for you. If he could take what you were about to give him and even though the opportunity didn’t present itself very often, you know he secretly loved being in the palm of your hand.

‘Slowly baby’ he whispered as you began to rock over him, his eyes still shut so he could focus on the way you felt around him, but you wanted to see him, see the way he reacted to you to give you that extra boost.

‘Masey’ you breathed and he groaned in response, his head lightly swaying from side to side. ‘Masey, look at me’ you moaned as one of the hands that you had resting on his chest made its way up his body so you could hold him at the base of his neck, squeezing the sides ever so slightly as his eyes flew open to meet yours. ‘Good boy’ you whispered and you felt him buck up into you at your words. ‘That feel good?’ You asked him.

‘You have no fucking idea’

‘Language Mase, don’t make me punish you’ you told him and he whimpered at your words, his head rolling back again and you took to opportunity to kiss his neck. Your hands now on his shoulders for support as you rolled your hips over him. ‘I bet you’d like that though wouldn’t you’ you whispered with a slight laugh as he whined. He raised his head, now resting it on your shoulder as he continued you guide your hips with his hands on your bum. His grip tightening and you picked the pace up a bit.

‘Y/n, keep going please. Just like that’ he whispered looking back up at you again briefly before looking down to your chest, tugging the cup of your bra down slightly and taking your right nipple into his mouth, sucking on it gently. You moaned his name loudly at the new sensation which caused him to moan into your chest.

‘You feel so big like this, Masey. It’s like I can feel you in my ribs’ you whispered, pulling a louder moan from him and you smiled at the way your words effected him. You carried on showering him with compliments and saw his face flush as he got more an more turned on from your praise and the feeling of you around him. ‘Open your mouth for me’ you hummed, reaching up with one hand to grasp his cheeks, pushing them together slightly so his lips parted and his stuck his tongue out ready for what you were about to give him.

You’d only done this a few times before, and you’d always been on the receiving end but seeing how it turned mason on so much in the past made you curious to how he would be with the roles reversed. You conjured up a small pool of salvia in your mouth before dropping it into his and closing his mouth up for him. His hips bucked up into you again even harder and you smiled as he swallowed you down.

‘You’re such a good boy, Masey’ you cooed running your hands all over his chest and neck and you noticed his breathing start to get more laboured.

‘God I’m so close’ he spoke against your chest, kissing his way back up your body so he could look you in the eyes again. His hands all over you as if he wanted to trace every inch of your body and you shuddered at his confession.

‘I need you to hold it for me, Mase’ you whispered directly into his ear, and he groaned whilst shaking his head, telling you he couldn’t. You lightly bit his neck in response as he continued to buck up into you. ‘Yes you can Mase’ you told him whilst talking his hand and popping his thumb in your mouth to coat it with your salvia. He was watching you with wide eyes the whole time, like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing, before you moved his hand down to near where your bodies met. ‘I need you to touch me Mase. Think you can do that for me?’ You asked he he nodded at you before attaching his thumb to your clit and circling it slowly. You gasped at the contact, bouncing up on him even harder and you could tell how much he was struggling to hold off, so you thought you’d be kind and let him have his way just a tiny bit.

‘I’m there Mase, you gonna cum for me?’ You asked and he nodded as the most obscene noises poured from him. It only spurred you on to keep talking as you knew he was getting off on it so much. ‘You sound so pretty for me Mase. Keep your eyes on me baby I wanna watch you cum’ you told him and he frantically looked up at you as you bounced up and down on him to finish you both off. You knew he was waiting for you to cum first and as soon as he felt you clench around him as you did, he let himself go. His wild eyes burning into yours as a string of curse words left his mouth and when you knew he was done, you both stilled your movements, resting your forehead on his as you got your breath back.

‘You’re so fucking sexy’ he told you and you chuckled, kissing over his flushed face as he brushed his fingertips over your lower back.

‘And you like being told what to do’ you winked making him blush even more as he tried to hide in your neck. ‘It’s okay Mase. I happen to think it’s extremely sexy. I love seeing you like this’

He slowly lifted his head and pouted his lips so you would kiss him and you held his face in your hands as you gave him what he wanted.

‘Will I get this treatment after every time I score now?’ He asked with a hopeful grin and you nodded at him.

‘If that’s the motivation you need baby, then yes’

‘I might be home late from training tomorrow then, need to practice my shooting’ he told you with a wink and you both held each other tighter as you laughed. ‘Thank you, baby. I mean it. I felt like shit this morning thinking about everything but you always seem to know what to say to make things better’ he told you and you blushed at his words ‘I’m so lucky I’ve got you’

‘Love you’ you whispered, connecting your lips together.

‘Love you, too’ he told you before a cheeky smile took over his face. ‘Now, I think we’re gonna have to stay here like this all night cause if we move there’s gonna be a mess’ he chuckled

‘Fine by me’ you winked, circling your arms around his neck as you buried your face in his shoulder. He held your body just as tight to him, fingertips trailing up and down your back gently, thanking whoever was looking over you for bringing such an amazing person into your life.

[piastricodedfr]

hiii can i pls request some headcannons of cheering ollie up after a bad race?

Here you go❤️

•When ollie has a bad race, he doesn't need many words.

•Because you understand each other even without saying much.

•he is very thankful that you are always there for him.

•He usually doesn't need much other than your affection and your cuddles.

•When the Team is then out for celebrating his teammates good result, he just stays with you in the hotel.

•when you are cuddling together on the hotel bed, you order food.

•you ofc always remind him that hes enough, and that better weekends will surely come.

•he also appreciates that so much

•in the end he is always so happy that you are always there for him

•and that you dont care where he finishes or something.

Hope you liked it❤️❤️❤️

[torawro]

I've had this in my mind for a while and I need to let out💀

[Reader is an Arrancar that's dating Grimmjow and she likes to fuck around and flirt with the others (except for Nnoitra cuz that mf ain't entertaining that shit no way😭).]

[One day, he catches her flirting and being all touchy with Ulquiorra who's looking at her like she lost her mind, but he doesn't push her away because one, he lowkey checks her out when no one's watching, and two, I like to think that he enjoys pissing Grimm off sometimes. So ofc, Grimmjow gets pissed and storms to them and possessively pulls Reader towards him, shouting at the higher-ranked Espada to stay away from her.]

[Like the unbothered bitch that he is, Ulquiorra simply stares at him and says sum shit like, "What are you getting angry with me for? She approached me and touched me in an intimate manner so you should scold her for thinking I'm more suited to handling her unresolved sexual frustration." Once again, the pantera gets angry before a mischievous smirk forms on his face. Reader is fucking terrified bc she knows that smirk means he's about to do some crazy shit. Grimmjow looks down at her and winks before looking at Ulquiorra. "Hmmm....so you think you can please her better than I can? Well, how about we let her be the judge of that."]

[So fast forward a few hours later to both Espadas fucking the life out of Reader in her and Grimmjow's shared bedroom. Grimm's fucking her mouth while Ulquiorra takes her from behind. Ulquiorra may be a dedicated, full-time stoic King but the way Reader's pussy keeps greedily sucking him in and milking his cock for everything he's got has him furrowing his eyebrows and gripping her ass more tightly. Grimmjow smirks and laughs at him, amused by the fact that even someone like Ulquiorra can get pussy whipped as well. "Pretty little pussy she has, don't ya think? Greedy little kitty will drain you for all that you're worth. A shame she belongs to me though."]

I'm so sorry this is long but my brain was going a thousand miles an hour with this one😭🙈

😳😳😳😳😳😳😳 grey i—

this is literally me against the wall bc ??????????? what????? you wrote THIS OFF THE DOME??????? THERES NO WAAAAAAYYYYY OMFG? TAG TEAM BETWEEN MY TWO FAVORITE ESPADA? INSANE OH GOSH THE WAY IF I WAS PALE ID BE AS RED AS A TOMATO AFTER READING!?? especially the last couple sentences OH MY GOODNESS. UR BRAIN IS JUST HUGGGEEEEEE . i think one of the things that’s especially hot to me is that not only are we being used like a damn fleshlight, but ulquiorra falling apart behind us bc of how good our pussy is😩😩😩😩😩 STOIC MEN GETTING HEART EYES OVER US IS MY FAVORITE THIS EVVVEERERRRR and i love mr cifer so much mhmhmhmhm i DOOOOOOOOOO !!!! OH MY GSISJSJA FUCK I CANT EVEN PROCESS THIS PLS🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️ also do NOT apologize pls don’t ever. bc honestly i love when people drop long pieces like this in my inbox ( people rarely do tho; most of the time it’s me that’s dropping long drabbles like this like it’s nothing 😭 ) but this was such a treat to read omg.

im thinking of how reader feels ulquiorra’s hands on her ass, letting his primal urges he didn’t know he has take control of his movements. he subconsciously spreads our ass cheeks apart so he can see the tight ring of muscles pucker in and out slightly as our cunt makes his lengthy cock disappear and reappear over and over and my baby is mesmerized like you literally can’t make him tear his gaze away from where our extremities meet. we arch our lower back a little more so his dick can hit that spot and we moan lewdly around grimmjow, which results to both men letting out animalistic growls: grimmy grips our hair little tighter than before, the dull pain of his nails digging nearly into our scalp adding onto the pleasure and make our fluttering hole drip even more honey around ulquiorra’s girth. the clenching sensation he feels is damn near euphoric, he’s never experienced this kind of satisfaction and pleasure before and the action made him let out low curse while bringing a rough palm down on the globe of our ass. it feels good because it makes us squeeze around his tighter, but the lingering feeling of his hand still stings.

we make some type of garbled, mumbling noise, as if we’re trying to say something, but ulquiorra doesn’t register what we say ( he doesn’t really care ) because he’s busy trying to process the feeling of your tight cunt and this intimacy he’s currently engaging in. grimmjow on the other hand begins to fuck your throat to shut you up, blatantly disregarding our plea. “oh shut up, this is what you wanted is isn’t it princess? you wanna flirt around so bad? well, now your mouth can flirt with this dick. better be appreciative that i didn’t punish you baby.”

his azul irises shift and trained on ulquiorra’s pale-white countenance; he could clearly see the sweat dripping down his muscular, lean frame and causing the black tendrils of his hair to stick to his neck and forehead. “hey ulquiorra. two more minutes and we’re switching. you’ve had your fun, now i wanna feel my pussy wrap around me.”

[taerrorize]

AND ANOTHER fic idea:

Dick Grayson is the biological son of Bruce Wayne and Talia al Ghul. Haven’t decided yet how he ends up with the Graysons but either way Bruce wouldn’t have known abt him. Maybe Talia was hiding him from Ra’s or smth idk. But Talia has been keeping tabs on him his whole life and when he’s like maybe 10/11 she finds him on his birthday when he’s out as Robin (he’s away from Batman for whatever reason and just hopping along the rooftops) and tells him all about how he’s their son. And he absolutely doesn’t fucking believe her so idk maybe she gives him a hair or smth and says he can prove it for himself one way or the other.

And he does it in total secret, doesn’t tell Bruce shit abt it, and then has just a bit of breakdown when the results come in and would ya look at that after testing everything seven times it comes back as a match every single time.

And he decides he’s never going to tell anyone bc he’s terrified that Bruce will hate him and get rid of him and he’s also terrified that if that happens then he’ll end up with the league of shadows and he doesn’t want any of that to happen so his lips are fucking Sealed and he tells Talia as much the next time she seeks him out.

(This got so fucking long so rest is under the break)

The only other person who knows is Alfred bc he went to check on Dick one night and found him in the middle of a panic attack and Dick told him abt what Talia said and showed him the tests but made him promise not to tell Bruce. Alfred of course promised bc he’s swell like that but also heavily encouraged dick to tell him on his own. And dick says he will. Eventually. When he’s ready. But he’s not ready yet Alfred pls I just need a little more time.

And then a few years later when he’s on the young justice team and mgann Conner & Artemis are confessing their unsavory relations with various baddies, Dick just feels so guilty bc let’s make Talia/Ra’s more involved in the beginning and Talia has been getting closer to Dick bc she actually does want to know her oldest son and also she has a toddler who’s his full blood related brother and she wants them to know each other and she thinks Dick will be a good big brother to Damian (he absolutely is and they both adore each other it’s precious and Talia has a house in Blüdhaven now where they live most of the time and so Dick goes to visit in secret all the time). And he’s so so guilty bc he doesn’t say anything. He stays quiet. He doesn’t want anyone else to know yet that he’s related to Talia & Ra’s and he especially doesn’t want them to know he’s Batman’s actual son. So he doesn’t say anything but he does have some inside info on what’s going down bc maybe Talia thinks what her father is doing is stupid and she WANTS the Justice league to make him stop. She just didn’t think it would mean her child would have to do all the dirty work, so she’s pissed when she sees Robin and all his little friends show up. But whatever they save the day yadda yadda idk.

FAST FORWARD to the time skip during young justice. Idk I don’t remember where I was going with this I just want him to be like 14, no older than 15. Originally I wanted it to be after the season 2 finale for Extra Angst but the age thing would have to be really skewed to keep him 14/15. Idk it could work but whatever EITHER WAY-

But they’re on a mission and suddenly Ra’s shows up and orders all his shadows to stop attacking and the rest of the team is like wtf is going on meanwhile dick’s in his head going “fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfucck” whether or not that gets broadcasted over the mind link is unimportant but it could be funny if it is. Anyway. And Ra’s goes on some long spiel abt family and honor and taking your rightful place and not running and hiding and he’s just addressing this all to “grandson” and the entire team is just “who tf is he talking to” and dick is just screaming in his head trying to figure out how to get away and how to make his team not hear anything else and to never bring this up again.

Meanwhile Ra’s “if you and your mother really thought I never knew about you, then you truly are naive. I will admit it was a brilliant idea, hiding you in plain sight. But you will return with me tonight to take your rightful place as the heir to the demon head.”

Dick is sweating. He is panicking. Bc WTF Talia always told him that Ra’s never even knew she was pregnant with him at the time, only to now find out HE KNEW THE WHOLE TIME? Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. He doesn’t know what to do. He can’t move. The rest of the team is still just so confused bc WHO is he talking to??

“And you will come with me. Because you wouldn’t want anything to happen to your precious little brother, would you?”

And he pulls Damian close to him from where one of the shadows was holding him out of their sight, and Damian is only like 4-6 and he’s crying because his grandfather is holding a knife to his throat and using his life as a bargaining chip.

And Damian just lets out a strangled cry for his big brother, and something inside Dick snaps.

“Let go of him!”

The whole team snaps their heads to him, bc he’d been so quiet and god they’re so stupid how did they not realize their youngest member hadn’t said a damn thing during this entire situation.

“Robin wtf? What’s going on?”

And he’s trying so hard to reassure Damian like “everything’s gonna be fine Dami. It’s okay. Nothings gonna happen to you”

And Ra’s tells him to drop his weapons and walk over to him, and that Damian will be fine if Dick does what he says.

And the team are all just like Robin wtf NO stop taking off ur utility belt what are u doing!! We can take him what are u doing??

But dick knows they’re all no match for Ra’s and a small army of shadows and wtf this was supposed to be some simple recon mission but their info must’ve been fucked bc this was CLEARLY a trap

“Tell Batman” dick chokes, and he’s glad it’s over the mindlink bc he knows his voice would be shaking if he had to speak out loud “tell him I’m sorry I didn’t tell him sooner. Tell him to talk to Agent A. Tell him - tell him I’m sorry, please”

And the team are all telling him he has to stop and that they’ll figure smth out but Dick just drops all his weapons and walks over to Ra’s, and once he’s close enough, he lets Damian go. And Damian darts to Dick immediately, crying and clinging to him and saying he wants their mother.

And dick just falls on his knees and holds him so close because the image of Damian with a sharp blade to his throat and his hair gripped by Ra’s was terrifying and he was so sure Ra’s was going to kill Damian anyway just to make a point and he’s trying so hard not to cry bc he has to be strong for Damian but goddamn he’s terrified of what Ra’s is going to do to them.

“It’s okay, it’s okay Dami, everything’s okay now” he whispers. “I’m so sorry, I’m so so sorry, I love you so much I’m so so sorry. It’ll be okay.”

“Enough of the theatrics, grandson,” Ra’s scoffs. “Get off the ground, it’s undignified. Now come along. Say goodbye to your little friends.”

He just turns and leaves, waving for his shadows to follow him. They all start to leave, except the couple of rly big ones who are clearly there to keep Dick in line.

And so he stands up and holds Damian close to him. Damian just hides his face in Dick’s neck, and Dick turns to look at his friends.

“Robin you don’t have to go with him!”

It’s shouted over the mindlink, along with several other similar sentiments. Some are upset, some are scared, some are confused, some are angry. Dick just holds on tighter to Damian. Because he knows there’s no more hiding from Ra’s, and right now there’s nothing else he can do that he knows will keep Damian safe.

“I’m sorry,” he repeats, his voice cracking.

“GRANDSON!” is shouted from the direction Ra’s went, and Dick snaps his head towards it. The two who were left to guard him start to close in, so he’s quick about walking towards his grandfather.

“Please tell Batman to talk to Agent A. Please tell him I’m sorry. Please please please please please-“ he repeats in the mindlink, trying to drown out the thoughts from his teammates until he’s far enough away that he’s no longer connected with them. “Please tell him I was scared.”

He’s not sure if they heard that last plea or not. He doesn’t want to know.

Haven’t decided yet what happens next but I can tell u what happens four-six months later! They’ve been on an island this whole time, Dick being trained by various shadows and his grandfather and maybe being slightly tortured. He def gets tossed in a Lazarus pit a fair few times. That’s its own special form of torture.

Talia is not allowed anywhere near her sons. Ra’s is pissed for her trying to keep them from him. She’s not even sure exactly which island they’re on.

Dick only gets to see Damian right before bed, and it’s not even every night. He’s so upset with the training they’re making Damian do. Damian constantly has bruises and he looks miserable and he cries and clings to Dick half the time. The other half of the time, Dick can see how Damian is starting to close off, trying to bury any emotion he has, and it’s killing Dick.

And one night after months, he manages to steal a bag of supplies and a boat and he smuggles himself and Damian off the island in the middle of the night, keeping a tarp over them so they look like just stray driftwood or smth. Just until they’re far away enough from the island that the shadows won’t see.

And Dick gets them to land, but he knows they’re being hunted by the league of shadows already, and it’s three more weeks of running and hiding and fighting and half-starving so that Damian won’t go hungry, then he finally gets to a zeta tube while he has six shadows in his tail and he manages to hack into the zeta to get both him and Damian beamed up to the watchtower, convinced it was the only place they could go to be safe for now.

They land heavily on the floor, Dick hugging Damian close, several JL members rushing over when they heard Robin’s designation announced. Half of them are about to go on the offensive, convinced that Robin is in deep with the league of shadows after everything they heard from the team about what Ra’s said.

But Robin is half panicked and his heart is still racing from being chased by the shadows and he sits up and squeezes Damian close. He managed to find something close enough to a domino mask so at least his identity is still safe, but Damian’s face is bare and he doesn’t want to give Batman anymore reasons to be pissed off at either of them so he keeps Damian’s face tucked into shoulder/neck.

“Batman,” Robin croaks. “Where’s Batman?”

Someone gets close enough to him to kneel down and assess him for any injuries. His clothes are kinda ripped up and he’s got several cuts and bruises at different stages of healing, and he’s pretty sure his left ankle is at least sprained but that’s not important right now, no matter what any of the league members are saying.

“Please, where’s Batman?” he begs.

And Batman just rushes in after getting an alert abt Robin using the zetas, and he swoops in uses his cape to shield them from the stares of the rest of the league. And Robin just crumbles.

“I’m sorry I’m sorry I didn’t know what to do I’m sorry-”

But Batman just hushes him and tells him everything is alright and he’s not angry, and all the league are staring bc wtf Batman has never sounded so gentle.

“Agent A told me everything,” Batman says softly, holding both Robin and Damian close. “It’s alright. Everything’s alright now. Let’s get you checked out now, alright?”

And Dick has had to be so strong the last few months for Damian, and he’s so relieved to have someone finally be strong for him.

And idk what happens after this but the team def gets mad bc they find out Robin is back and on the watchtower and they want to see him they deserve to see him and find out wtf is going on, but no one is letting them go up to visit him. Then idk what happens next. Team bonding. Batfam bonding. Talia being a good mom. Idk.

[miekasa]

mie….could we please get college au eren headcanons👉🏽👈🏽

Of course. I’m always thinking about his big head anyway <33 might as well put it good use.

One thing he learned in college is how to make his hyperfocus/fixation episodes work for him; that’s why he schedules all his classes as close together as possible. He’d rather have class back to back for 5 hours, than have it spread out with hours in between lectures, because that increases his changes of cutting.

You can always tell when he’s in class and/or what class he’s in by how much he responds to your messages. If he doesn’t text back at all, he’s in a class that hard or one he enjoys, or both. But if he’s sending you iMessage games, then you know he’s in his elective that he couldn’t care else about (and is probably cheating in someway somehow lmfao). 

He usually puts his phone on dnd when he’s in a class that’s important, but you’re in his favorite contacts, so your messages always ring through. What if it’s an emergency and you need him for something? Advanced Roots of Human Biology can wait. 

Some days there are one or two our breaks between his lectures, that’s just how the scheduling works out. When that happens, he usually sneaks into one of your lectures, or goes to your place to take a nap. Your roommates have become accustomed to him, honestly they’ve been considering giving him a key. 

Once, he didn’t realize that your lecture was basically a seminar, with you, the prof and maybe six other students. He still stayed lmao, and the prof was so amazed by his dedication, that she didn’t even mind. Occasionally, you’ll catch the two of them talking after lecture. It’s pretty cute the way she’s adopted him into the class even tho he’s not on the roster. 

You... have to show him where the library is lmfao. He genuinely has not stepped foot in one until you bring him to one. He likes it tho lmao once he gets used to it. 

Speaking of which, do not give him standard directions to find your classes on campus because all you’ll get is, “Babe, I’m gonna keep it real with you, I’ve never heard of the ‘West Quad’ a day in my life. What building are you near.”

He usually comes to see you in the library after all his lectures are done for the day. Sometimes he does homework, sometimes he’s just fucking around on his computer, sometimes he’s just bothering you. When you have to leave to go to class, he stays behind to watch your stuff so you don’t have to pack everything up and come back. 

Very protective when it comes to keeping your seat for you. No, you cannot take that chair to your table you good for nothing freshman; it’s reserved for you. 

He’ll drag you out of the library if you’ve been cooped up all day, tho. Eren will use his height and his strength against you to get you up. Placates you with kisses when he sees your angry expression, and promises to buy you food.

He takes your backpack for you when you’re walking together,m. His backpack is frustratingly light all the time, even during midterms. You swear all he’s got in there is a pencil and some flashcards. 

If you have night classes, he sticks around to walk you home after, especially in the winter when it gets dark faster. If he’s not already on campus, he’ll walk/drive back to meet you; he just doesn’t like you going home alone. Even if your friend/roommate is in the class with you, Eren will walk or drive the both of you home for his own sanity. 

He plays sports, so he usually has practice most evenings, but he’ll find a way to make time. If practice was particularly brutal, he’ll probably crash at your place.

He loves it when you come to meet him after practice. His whole face lights up and he waves obnoxiously, before he gathers up his stuff and all but sprints towards you. You get a cold water bottle to the face, or a bit of water splashed on you usually, which he takes immense amusement in. 

He knows it’s not possible for you to make it to all of his games, and usually it doesn’t bother him much; you’ve got your own life, and work to worry about. All he asks is that you wear his jersey, or any item of his sports apparel/merch on game day (he’s partial to hoodies).

By the time junior year rolls around, he’s not all that interested in attending parties that aren’t hosted by your friends; so, unless it’s at Connie, Jean, or Reiner and Bertholdt’s place, Eren will usually decline. Even team parties, he’s not crazy about unless it’s to celebrate a championship or something. He’d much rather celebrate with you. 

He does get excited about hosting parties though, and he and Jean become pretty damn good co-hosts. They don’t throw ragers, and that’s probably why Eren likes it so much. It’s usually your friend group and a couple plus ones, some good music, games, weed, and take-out. 

He’ll buy you coffee whenever you ask for it. The first time, he just orders something plain, not really knowing the difference between anything; but give it two or three tries, and he’ll get it perfect. He becomes so good that he can order you something new/different and you’ll love it. 

That’s kind of the start of his own coffee addiction, and more often than not, when he buys you a cup, he’s on his second or third of the day himself. The flavor has really grown on him, okay. 

He much prefers your apartment, but on occasion, he’ll ask you to come to his. You’ve been studying for so long, a change of environment should do you good, he claims. He’s a fucking liar tho because that’s all Eren Talk for “I do genuinely want you to come over, but my plans are to coerce you out of doing your assignments and doing me instead.”

Lmfao he adds you on Apple Watch Rings just so you can see him close his rings every day and laugh at you. Even if yours get closed by virtue of walking around campus or working out or whatever, his numbers are stupidly high because he fucking has practice at least 4 days of the week. 

Of course when you’re running on a soccer field for 2 hours every day, you close your Move Ring five times, Eren. Leave the rest of us alone. 

He buys you guys matching accessories for your keychains. It’s something pretty cute, and slightly random, but it reminded him of you. It also serves as a reminder to himself to take his fucking keys with him when he leaves his house. 

He sleeps like a fucking rock, so do not let him fall asleep in the library. Waking him up is a mission, and he’s never happy to be woken up. He looks kinda cute tho. 

He schedules dates for you and his friends. Usually by accident, but hear me out. Sometimes he’ll make plans with Armin, then forget that he has class or a test or something; so his solution is to text you, “hey, i forgot min and i were supposed to go some aquarium tomorrow but i have a midterm so here’s the pdf of my ticket, go with him for me, thanks babe love u” then, boop, you and Armin have an aquarium date Friday evening. 

The same thing happens with Mikasa, though, she usually catches the scheduling conflict before Eren does, and invites you out herself. You and Mikasa hang out quite a bit anyway, so it comes to the point where she tells you when she’s gonna hang out with Eren, so you can make yourself free for when he inevitably remember he has a game that day. 

Mikasa is most amazed that you’ve put up with Eren this long lmao. You’ve certainly lessened her Eren & Armin babysitting hours, and for that she’s eternally grateful. Also, she’s just happy to have another close friend. She loves Eren and Armin, but they’re not the most social beings, and she was literally their only friend besides the other for all their childhood PLEASE she’s so happy you’re around. 

It’s Mikasa, however, who babysits you and Eren whenever you both get too drunk. Says you guys are two peas in a pod (affectionate<2)

If you tell Eren something important that happened, like an internship you got, or a good grade in a class, or something, he usually relays that information to his mom pls. He texts her every day, and if she doesn’t ask for an update on you first, he gives her one.

Carla calls you sometimes, too. At least once every few weeks, just to check on you herself. She really likes you for Eren, and is grateful someone is willing to put up with her hotheaded son. 

Eren’s always using your fucking chapstick. Always. You know he has his own, so why he needs to use yours is beyond you. Finds time to make some dumbass comment about how it’s an “indirect kiss” every time he uses it too. Like bro, we’re dating, and have had many direct kisses why are you like this.

He posts on Instagram every few weeks or so, but you’re on his story every few days. Usually, it’s just a video of you minding your business and doing your work while Eren slowly zooms in before making some loud noise to surprise you, all so he can get your reaction on video and laugh at it. He’s annoying. 

He’s a bit of a copycat when it comes to the products you use. He’ll buy the same brand of pens as you (for that matter, all of his school supplies mirror yours because what does he know about the difference between A4 and A5 notebooks?), put a little hand sanitizer on his backpack like yours (and a lotion, too, for good measure), he even copies your Starbucks order until he finds one he likes for himself. It’s one of his love languages <3

If you’re wondering where your eyelash curler went, Eren stole it to try it on himself, hurt himself, vowed to never use it again, went back because he wanted to “do it right and not give up,” liked the results when he didn’t pinch his eyelid, and now it’s his. 

That being said, stop trying to put your Fenty lipgloss on him, it’s never going to happen. Eye makeup, maybe, only if you sit in his lap and he can have his hands on your ass while you do it. 

What he does love is letting you do his skincare. He will set aside dedicated skincare nights, he adores it. Easily one of his favorite things ever. 

You have his wallet. Not because he’s your sugar daddy or anything (although, if you want something, he’d definitely let you use his card to get it; and even if you bought something without asking, he wouldn’t think twice about it), but because he put it in your bag once and never took it out. 

When you tried to give it back, he just shook his head and told you to keep it, “I have my ID in my phone case anyway, and you’re less likely to lose it. Plus I put all my cards on Apple Pay, so I’m good.”

When you do make it to a game of his, he’s all over you when it’s over. Not in a cocky athlete boyfriend kind of way; in a very sleepy boyfriend kind of way. He’s usually got ice on at least one part of his body, and he’s got half his body weight on you as you walk to the car. 

By the time you guys get back to your place, he’s practically sleep walking. The only thing on his mind is taking a hot shower to soothe his muscles, and heading to bed. The aftermath of game days aren’t all that bad though, because even if you didn’t show, you’re always there to kiss him when he’s home and massage his shoulders, and cuddle him to sleep; and that’s his favorite part. 

[hnychn]

𝐌𝐘 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐅 [𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐌𝐀]

summary : tsuki had always been the rational one between the two of you, but sometimes even he needs his other half to knock him back to earth

warnings : twin!reader, fem!reader, cursing, physically hurt/comfort, generally fluff, PLATONIC, tsuki & reader get into a fight, not edited at all

word count : 1600+

a/n : i was rewatching karasuno's match against shiratorizawa last night, and i thought about this so :) it's just general headcanons about being tsuki's twin and it gets specific when i bring up the match :) enjoy ( ´∀｀)

karasuno masterlist ~ haikyuu masterlist

-          contrary to popular belief, tsukishima is actually a really good sibling and an even better twin 

-          he’ll definitely make sure you’re taking care of yourself and eating and drinking often, especially if you have you’re involved in your own club 

-          he and yamaguchi wait after school for you too so you don’t have to walk home alone. tsuki says it’s because he doesn’t want your mom or akiteru to stress out over you if you get lost or something, but deep down you know it’s because he cares for you and doesn’t want anything bad to happen to you 

-          but, if you manage for the volleyball club, it makes his life a lot easier 

-          you definitely joined before yachi, right at the beginning of the year when tsuki and yamaguchi signed up for the team. you and kiyoko were quick to become friends, along with the third years (the only ones tsuki really trusted you around alone. pls tanaka nearly tackled you to the ground when you said you wanted to be manager had it not been for daichi grabbing his collar and tsuki pusing you behind him) 

-          tanaka apologised

-          do i really need to tell you why tsuki didn’t trust hinata and kageyama around you? 

-          you were the one to recruit yachi to be another manager as well. she was in some of your classes and you knew her to be a kind and work-driven person, so you asked if she wanted to sign up 

-         pls babes never stood a chance saying no to you

-         she was a blushing mess

-          (she highkey has a crush on you and tsuki knows it, but that’s none of his business) 

-          just like tsuki, you’re able to quickly analyze players and their movements and you also are able to think ahead and plan out attacks or defences with the information you’ve gathered 

-          so the coaches really like you :) 

-          during the training camp, you and tsuki got into a fight, y’know, as siblings do. and you’ve gotten into arguments and fights with each other in front of the others, so they weren’t all too worried and assured everyone else that it was normal . . . but then y’all started getting physical 

-          hurtful words were thrown without thinking, it’s normal, but tsuki went a bit too far with his words and you aren’t the type to cry and run away, so what did you do? 

-          you tackled that bitch :D 

-          so there you two were, fighting like kids over the last popsicle in the freezer, while everyone just stood there in shock at what the hell was going on in front of them 

-          the others were quick to pull you away from each other, and the managers led you away from your brother while the two of you calmed down. it definitely took you a while to calm down from the adrenalin high from tackling your 6’3 brother, but you eventually did and went back into the gym where tsuki was sitting on the bench.

-          the others tensed up when you walked over to him and sat next to him, thinking you were gonna start fighting again, but instead the two of you sat in silence for a while 

-         the other managers, who you’ve become great friends with, eventually got everyone to mind their business to give the two of you privacy to apologise or whatever 

-          and you did, because he’s your brother, and no matter how many petty fights (verbal or physical) you get into with him, he’ll always be your twin. your other half 

-          but that doesn't mean you'll never take his ass down again if he doesn't watch his words

-          bcs you will ˙ ͜ʟ˙

-          the two of you like to tease each other, i mean, this is tsukishima we’re talking about, if he’s going to tease someone it’s most definitely going to be you

-          now onto what spurred this whole headcanon >:) 

-          everyone was nervous leading up to the match with shiratorizawa and, despite him not showing it, you knew tsuki was too. you could tell in the way he got dressed a bit slower that morning and the way he ate less and drank more water. plus it’s just twin intuition, you could just look at him and know what’s up 

-          n e ways, the match is going on and you would have fallen over the railing of the stands had it not been for akiteru’s grip on the back of your jacket (who scared the hell out of you when he first showed up. “kei’s not gonna like you being here, nii-chan.”) 

-          so it’s getting intense 

-          you’re sure this single match has taken 50 years off your life

-          you’ll give tsuki a good slap when the match is over for it 

-          you cried a little when tsuki blocked ushy gushy’s spike, but you made akiteru and yachi swear not to tell anyone especially tsuki since he would tease the fuck outta you and you don't need that. 

-         and then (y’know where i’m going with this) tsuki just goes and fucks up his hand 

-       it was like you became the flash because you were down in the court in literal seconds (akiteru swore you jumped over the rails down onto the court, but . . . i guess we’ll never know ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ)   

The walk to the medical room was silent. 

You could hear the cheers and screaming from the main gym form where you were, the shrill sounds echoing down the hallway almost hauntingly. You cursed a bit when you felt chills run down your spine, because despite being wrapped in your karasuno jacket and an extra jacket akiteru brought, the short length of your skirt provided barely any warmth for your legs. 

From beside you, Tsukishima was silent, simply clutching onto his bleeding hand while burning holes into the polished linoleum floor. You had expected him to tease you about the glare you sent Ushijima when you jumped onto the court (said boy would later confess to his teammate that that had been the only moment he truly felt fear), or make fun of the way akiteru’s jacket seemed to drown you and made you look like a wet cat; but he didn’t. And his silence was more unnerving than anything. 

But you knew Kei. You knew the looks he was giving, the way his face seemed to relax and become more expressive when it was only the two of you, you could see his thoughts and worries as plain as day on his face. 

You were twins after all. You knew Kei better than he knew himself, you knew his attitude was nothing short of a direct result of your brother's lies and his worry was because he had finally gotten a taste of what volleyball was really like, and he was craving more. 

So, as the eldest twin, you did what you did best. 

You teased him. 

“Stop making that face, you look constipated.” 

Tsuki snapped his head over to you and scowled, “Shut up.” 

“No, you shut up, and listen well, Kei.” Your strict and monotone voice surprised him a little, he hadn’t heard you use that voice in a while, let alone with him; you were known as the nicer twin after all, “You need to trust that the others will hold their own. Have trust in your team to keep Shiratorizawa on their toes. You know them, you know they can hold their own and take some points. You’ve trained and practiced with them for a while now, Kei. You’ve seen their improvements and you’ve seen their hard times, have a little more trust in them. So stop worrying about what could happen while you’re not there and start thinking about what you’ll do when you get back, big head.” 

There was a silence between the two of you as the medic room sign came into view. You sighed a little as you shrugged in your mind, perhaps Kei was too deep in his thoughts to care about your words, but there was only so much you could do to convince him to relax a little. But before you could slide open the door to the medic room, you felt a little tug on the back of your (akiteru’s) jacket. 

Tsuki still looked down to the ground, but you could just about make out a small dust of pink on his cheeks, “thanks for that . . . y/n” 

Your eyes widened a bit and you nearly made a move to pinch yourself because on the way to the medic room you must have died and went to heaven or aliens must have burst through the window and taken you to an alternate universe where your brother, Tsukishima fucking Kei, was thanking you. 

You hands shook a little as you pulled Tsuki’s face down, pressing the back of your hand to his forehead and checking his body for other injuries, “What the fuck, are you sure it’s only your hand that’s injured? Did one of Ushiwaka’s spikes hit you in the head? I think you’re dying . . . yeah, that’s what it is. Maybe you should sit this game out Kei, you might start doing crazier things like tell me you love me or that I’m the best sister you could have asked for or-” 

“OH, SHUT UP!” 

You laughed as Tsuki pushed you into the medic room and ignored you as his hand was being bandaged up. Tsuki glared at you over his shoulder as you poked and prodded the back of his head and teased him further, but when he turned back around his glare softened. 

Tsuki was grateful for your presence. He was thankful you were there to keep his head on his shoulders and make sure he stayed focused on what really mattered. And out of everyone in the world, Tsuki was glad you were his twin - his better half. 

Not that’d he ever tell you.

-         so yeah :) 

-          tl;dr tsukishima is a tsundere and secretly loves you ˙ ͜ʟ˙

[absolutepokemontrash]

You don't need to write this if you dont want too because it's up to you but this is something wholsome

WHAT IF L!MC M!M & BBY A!MC BECOME BABIES AND THERE EVEONES HAS TO CARE FOR THEM,

I apologize for having such horrible writing and grammer. I never payed attention in school, nor could I afford to pay attention 👉😎👉

Bro I feel you on the not paying attention in school thing. Fear not, dearest asker, ask for demon babies, and since I am a merciful writer, you shall receive.

Oh Shit, Half-Demon Babies are Running Amok Send Diapers and Help-

Mini summary for the casual reader, L!MC is Lucifer’s half demon child who got summoned into the Devildom to be one of the human exchange students, M!MC is Mammon’s half demon kid, and A!MC is Asmo’s. Let’s get to the fic!

Ah, what a relaxing day... Lucifer was sitting back in his desk chair, enjoying a nice glass of Demonus and listening to one of his favourite cursed vinyls. He had done a damn good job on his work earlier and Diavolo had insisted there was no more work to be done and he could have the weekend all to himself.

Of course, his brothers were still a factor that could have ruined his me-time... on any other weekend! Satan had just gotten a new encyclopedia to read, so he wouldn’t be causing any trouble, Beel and Belphie were going to take that Devildom food tour, Mammon and M!MC were planning on spending the entire weekend shopping, Asmo and A!MC were going up to the human world on Saturday and staying until Sunday, and Levi... He got a sudden burst of inspiration for his Animal Crossing Island and most likely wouldn’t be leaving his room for the next month. Lastly, L!MC wouldn’t be causing any problems, his child would probably spend their time with him rambling about musicals or anime they had seen, and Lucifer found their intense interest very adorable.

Ah... peace and quiet...

...

...why did Lucifer hear crying?

There, standing in the entrance hall of the House of Lamentation, was Solomon, holding three screaming babies.

What, and I cannot stress this enough, THE HELL?!

“Ah, Lucifer,” Solomon attempted to wave hello, but needing to continue to bounce one of the babies on his hip kind of hindered the gesture, not that Lucifer wanted a wave at that moment. “I’m sure you have questions.”

After everyone had gathered into the living room, Solomon explained how a spell gone awry had hit L!MC, M!MC, and A!MC with the effect of turning the three into the screaming infants that stood (or... awkwardly sprawled out) in front of them.

On the bright side, the spell only had a timespan of roughly two days, so they wouldn’t be stuck like that forever.

Everyone sat in silence for a few minutes (save for the babies, who were still either crying or incoherently babbling) as they processed that information. Lucifer, ever the flawless older brother and leader, stood up and clapped his hands together once.

“Alright then, everyone cancel your weekend plans, we need to deal with this.”

Lucifer’s dearest little brothers all whined in protest, Satan in particular. “They’re not our kids, why do Belphie, Beel, Levi, and I need to cancel our plans?!”

“Satan,” Lucifer said sternly. “You don’t remember this, but it took six people to take care of one of you. The kids may only be half demons but there are three of them. We need all hands on deck. Besides, if you all want someone to blame, blame Solomon.”

Everyone turned and levelled their practically murderous glared at the sorcerer, who suddenly pulled baby A!MC into his lap and began to rock them back and forth.

“I have never felt more unsafe.” Solomon laughed nervously. “But you wouldn’t kill me while I’m holding my not-child would you?”

Asmo stomped over and snatched A!MC away from Solomon. “I can’t believe you- ACK! A!MC! Stop drooling!”

A!MC had a long trail of drool coming out of their mouth which caused Asmo to shriek and hold A!MC at arms length away. “Stop that! That’s gross, A!MC, you know better.”

The adorable baby continued to babble and drool.

Mammon picked up M!MC, who almost immediately stopped crying upon seeing Mammon’s watch, they began making grab hands at it. “Ah, ya want the watch?”

M!MC squealed in delight as Mammon dangled the watch above them, Mammon was delighted that his little brat still had their expensive taste, even as a baby. “Hey, look at me! I’m doin’ pretty good! Suck it, Asmo!”

As Asmo and Mammon bickered, Lucifer took the time to look at L!MC, they pulled at Lucifer’s tie and hummed to themselves. They were mind numbingly cute despite the screeching they were doing earlier. The sight tugged at the cold spot where Lucifer’s heart should have been, he had missed this part of his child’s life... maybe just that weekend he’d get a chance to-

“Solomon where do you think you’re going?” Lucifer was pulled from his thoughts when he noticed the shifty bastard trying to make his escape. “You’re staying to help manage this nonsense.”

—————

A!MC may have been an absolute ray of sunshine normally, but as a baby, they definitely lived up to the term demon-spawn.

A!MC would scream, cry and pitch a fit if they didn’t get what they wanted immediately, not that they had any way of articulating what they wanted because they were a god damn baby! Asmo and Solomon were at the point where they were just holding stuff out to A!MC to see if it would make them stop crying.

“Come on butterfly, don’t you like this... antique perfume bottle?” Asmo asked, A!MC took one look at it, then burst into flames and started wailing again. “For the love of my father WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!”

Now there were two sobbing messes in the room, and one was on fire. Solomon quickly magically took care of A!MC’s little fire problem (the baby was fiiiiiiine, demon babies light themselves on fire all the time!), picked A!MC up, sat down on Asmo’s bed, and snapped his fingers. Tiny balls of light gently floated into the air around the three, Asmo looked up from his pity party upon hearing A!MC stop their crying.

“See, you still like my magic, even as a baby, right A!MC?” Solomon asked, A!MC looked around in silent wonder, trying to reach up and touch the lights.

“Oh Solomon, this almost makes me forgive you for screwing up my weekend plans...” Asmo sighed in relief, he sat next to Solomon and pulled A!MC into his lap. “Not very colourful though, is it? Let me fix that.”

Asmo smiled as his own magic added streaks of colour, it was like their very own private showing of the northern lights. A!MC had on one of those goofy baby smiles that can make even the grumpiest person smile back.

Solomon and Asmo shaped some of the lights into shapes and animals, Asmo let a pink butterfly land on A!MC’s nose, much to their adorable delight.

“And that one’s a bird, and that one’s a giraffe,”

“That’s an alpaca.”

“Sorry, an alpaca with a weirdly long neck, oh! And a sheep!” Asmo looked down at his lap where A!MC sat and tickled their sides. “Everyone likes sheep!”

He then quickly shaped a ball of light into a scorpion and made it scuttle into A!MC’s lap. “But I have to say, scorpions are the best.”

The fifth born sighed in contentment as their sweet little hellspawn continued to watch the magic show. Never in his life did Asmodeus ever think he’d be this happy holding a baby, usually babies were things he thought should be handled with hazmat suits, but not at that moment. His little butterfly truly did have him wrapped around their finger.

“Asmo, hey, Asmo,” Asmo looked over at Solomon, who had a glowing triangle over one of his eyes. “Would you like to join my secret society?”

“Solomon, you are ruining the moment.”

——————

“C’mon kiddo! Eat your damn food!” Mammon once again tried to shove the spoon into his kid’s mouth with the same result as the 50 previous attempts.

“YUCKY!” M!MC shouted and slapped the spoon away.

“Here,” Beel took the spoon from Mammon. “Maybe it’s yucky like they said.”

Beel ate what was on the spoon, then smiled brightly. “You can really taste the mango!”

“See bud..? Beel likes it.” Mammon gestured at Beel, who was eating the entire jar of baby food as Belphie watched in amusement. He was such an asset to the team. “Beel! They need to eat!”

“Fine, let me try.” Belphie grabbed another spoon, and waved it in M!MC’s face. “Here comes the airplane... whoosh... whoosh...”

M!MC didn’t budge, Belphie knitted his eyebrows and rolled his eyes. “Okay, fine, be that way.”

Levi pushed open the door to the kitchen, and upon seeing the scene before him, immediately turned and tried to leave. “Nope! Food isn’t worth getting spit up all over me-”

Mammon lunged forward, grabbed the back of Levi’s jacket and practically yanked him into the kitchen, he slapped a spoon into his hand and smiled. “C’mon, do a favour for your super great big brother!”

The third born looked at M!MC, who defiantly stared back at him, the baby had the upper hand and the little brat knew it. Babies were so much cuter in anime...

Levi nervously stepped forward and held out the spoon like a weapon. “O-okay M-M-M!MC... you need to eat your food... pls... pls eat.”

M!MC said nothing, they only did what most babies did.

...

They spun their head 90 degrees until the back of their head was all Levi could see.

Everyone in the kitchen stood in complete silence, until Mammon jumped a foot in the air and started screaming bloody murder. “MY BABY!”

He dove forward and scooped M!MC up in his arms, the baby, obviously freaked out by the sudden loud noise, had begun to cry.

“It’s okay! It’s okay! Uh... uh...” Mammon looked around frantically. “Hush little baby don’t say a word... papas gonna buy you a mockingbird. And if that mockingbird don’t sing, papa’s gonna buy you a diamond ring... and if that diamond ring is brass, butitwon’tbebecauseyouroldmanwouldn’tgetcheatedlikethat-”

M!MC spun their head back to its correct position, but their crying sounds were now several octaves lower... It sounded like if someone put a baby in the Darth Vader mask but without the weird breathing sounds...

Mammon looked to Belphie. “I’m blankin’ on nursery rhymes! Ya hafta know some kid songs!”

Belphie, after being put on the spot, suddenly forgot every single nursery rhyme and lullaby any of his brothers had ever sung to him. Oh! A song popped into his head! He could sing that!

“Lizzie Borden took an axe, gave her mother forty whacks, when she saw what she had done, she gave her father forty one-”

“Not that one!” Mammon squeaked, holding M!MC closer to him. M!MC’s voice had returned to normal, the next problem is that they were only speaking in infernal. “Somethin’ else!”

“There was an old lady who swallowed a fly,” Beel began to sing. “I don’t know why she swallowed that fly... I forgot the rest of the song...”

“Dammit... Leviiiiii!” Mammon wheezed, desperately trying to calm the angrily growling M!MC. “Sing! Sing anything!”

“A-anything?” Only one song came to mind. “Uh um... With the doors of heaven and Hell barred, there is no other but the guard, Master of the Hellish Yard...”

Mammon lit up and nodded like Levi had just offered him a million Grimm. “Aw hell yeah! This song!”

He handed M!MC to Beel and began to dance and sing next to Levi, who had really gotten into the song as well!

“With those sins that you've committed, If you pay you'll be acquitted, and your crimes all permitted,” the two paused for dramatic effect before both belting out the best line in the song.

“ONLY ONES WITH CASH DO WELL, WELL AT LEAST IN HELL!”

As Levi and Mammon continued to sing, M!MC became so entranced by the dance, that they stopped their demonic babbling and just watched the second and third born dance and sing the English cover of an old vocaloid song. Belphie and Beel made brief confused eye contact to make sure the other twin was seeing the same thing.

The duo finished the song and took a bow, Beel lightly tapped M!MC’s chubby baby hands together to make it look like they were clapping. It was enough for Mammon and Levi.

“Thank you, thank you,” Mammon said. “We’ll be here forever, next show ain’t free.”

“We should sing The Tailor on Enbizaka next!”

“Levi! No! That song is like... seven minutes long!”

“Hey, morons,” Belphie stuck his thumb at M!MC. “They still haven’t eaten.”

Mammon’s triumphant expression dropped right to the floor. “Ah fuck...”

——————

“Satan, where’s L!MC-” Lucifer looked up at the ceiling of Satan’s room and his jaw dropped. “WHAT ARE THEY DOING UP THERE?!”

“I can’t get them down!” Satan hissed back.

L!MC. L!MC the BABY. They were on the ceiling. They were sitting upside down on the ceiling like it was an average Friday. Lucifer was too old for this shit...

“L!MC.” Lucifer held out his arms, L!MC squinted at him, that’s when Lucifer remembered L!MC was practically blind without their glasses. “L!MC, it’s your father, come here.”

“Don’t you think I’ve tried calling them down like that?!” Satan spat as he quickly ran a hand through his hair.

Lucifer shot a glare at Satan, then Lucifer heard something that nearly made his (lack of) heart stop. Oh no- L!MC was yawning-

L!MC yawned and suddenly detached from the ceiling. Lucifer and Satan both dove forward to catch L!MC, which culminated in one of Satan’s piles of books falling down, but with L!MC safe and sound.

“Damn it.” Satan grumbled as Lucifer shifted to properly hold L!MC. “This is going to take forever to clean...”

“That was clean?” Lucifer raised an eyebrow as L!MC began to fuss slightly.

Satan growled and rolled his eyes. “Yes, it was clean thank you very much. I knew exactly where everything was.”

The cat that unofficially ruled the House of Lamentation pranced into Satan’s room like it didn’t have a care in the world, it began to bat at one of the loose papers that had been scattered around the floor. Detective Toe Beans, you’re an esteemed detective, and technically RAD’s mascot, stop that!

Satan scooped up the cat and began to put the books back in the pile, when Lucifer noticed a familiar, beat-up old book lying near the bottom of the pile.

“Ah, I remember this book,” Lucifer leaned down and picked it up, showing the cover to L!MC, who didn’t seem very interested and continued petting the fur part of Lucifer’s jacket. “It’s good for a bedtime story, right L!MC?”

Lucifer tucked the book under his arm and turned to leave when Satan practically shot upwards. “If you think you can just take that out of my room, you’re completely delusional.”

“Are you seriously going to whine about getting a bedtime story for L!MC?”

“CAT!” L!MC looked over Lucifer’s shoulder and reached for Detective Toe Beans. “CAT!”

“Yes L!MC, cat.” Lucifer whispered to them, then turned back to Satan. “And if I’m remembering correctly, I used to read this to you. Do you really want to deprive poor L!MC of bedtime stories from me?”

“Pff... deprive...” Satan rolled his eyes and huffed. “I’d be saving them. You were the only one who never did any voices for the characters, I was bored to sleep.”

Satan walked forward and swiped the book from Lucifer. “If anyone’s reading L!MC a bedtime story, it should be me. I’m twice the storyteller you’ll ever be.”

Lucifer scoffed. “Ridiculous. We’ll both read L!MC a story and they can tell us who did best when they get back to normal.”

“Fine by me.”

The three (four if you count Bean) were soon seated on the couch in Lucifer’s room. Lucifer took the first story.

Satan listened along and absentmindedly pet Bean, hearing a story he had heard over and over again had managed to bring back memories of a time where he had significantly less control over his wrath. Every night he’d demand a bedtime story or he’d throw a tantrum unlike anything the Devildom had ever seen.

The eldest was always there to swoop in and read Satan a story whenever the little ball of seething rage looked ready to kill the unfortunate brother who told him it was bedtime.

It had gotten to the point that Satan could recite most of the stories in the book completely by heart. He chuckled under his breath as he remembered the time he matter of factly told Lucifer that he’d be reading him the bedtime story that night and proceeded to pretend to read the story of The Hydra and the Pufferfish. He hadn’t actually learned to read, much to Lucifer’s dismay, Satan just memorized what to say and when to turn the pages.

Though, it was apparently impressive enough at the time to warrant a head pat from Lucifer.

The fourth born leaned closer to Lucifer to get a better look at the book’s illustrations. They were always slightly off and strange looking, much like the pictures in the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark book that L!MC had given Satan for his birthday.

Lucifer abruptly stopped reading.

“Why’d you stop?” Satan looked up at Lucifer, then over at L!MC. Aw... Satan didn’t even get a chance to read...

“Our audience has fallen asleep.” Lucifer stifled a yawn and prepared to close the book, Satan quickly shoved his hand on the page to stop him.

“You started reading,” Satan looked away and grumbled. “So at least finish the story...”

Lucifer smirked and opened the book back up. “If you insist, Satan.”

————————

Yayyyyy! Babies! I’m sure the three get back to normal by Monday... hopefully...

Here’s a link to the song Levi and Mammon are singing!

I hope you all enjoyed! As of the time I’m posting this, the next set of Lessons 1-5 Headcanons will be out tomorrow at 8:30 pm EST.

[keijiluvr]

JUST SOME BOY

Pairings: Atsumu x Reader

Warnings: Implication of cheating, angst

NOTE: this is my first time writing about hq boys so i’m sorry if it might be ooc :( also pls be nice about this, i know it sucks but anyway here you go!

Part 2

Being in a relationship with Atsumu for more than a year now really has been wonderful for you. You felt happy, comfortable and content with him. You make each other happy as giggles and laughter would leave your lips, pulling the other’s body closer to them. Affection wasn’t really an issue as kissing has been normal for the both of you. Subtle hand holding and nuzzling against the other’s neck has been a routine most of the time, eager to just feel the touch of the other. Mornings filled with soft smiles, brushing the other’s hair and leave kisses all over their face.  

Both of you know each other like the back of your hands, being able to know if something’s troubling the other and be able to talk about it and work things out. You were able to support him throughout his struggles especially with volleyball and he’s always there to listen whenever something’s bothering you. It was safe to say that you can imagine yourself staying in this so called fairytale for a very long time. 

But it didn’t last that long. 

It started two weeks ago. That gut feeling that something’s wrong, screaming and begging at you to listen. No matter what you do, it wouldn’t disappear as it clawed its way up to your mind, disturbing your thoughts as it pushed it to the back of your mind and let itself stay inside your head for a while. It’s been bothering you for days. You thought it was just you being paranoid or a common feeling of nervousness but why would you feel like that? 

“Tsum?” 

“Sorry, Coach told me to stay behind to practice more on.” 

You brushed it off, it didn’t really matter to you as long as he got home safely and that he’s okay. This would happen sometimes and you’re always waiting for him in the apartment, ready to reassure and relieve some stress with him. You’ve been his anchor, always keeping everything grounded and steady and he liked it. How come things started changing? 

However, the constant late night practices started happening frequently as excuses kept on piling up. 

“We have an important match coming up. I really have to practice.” 

“Bokuto-san wanted to practice more on his spikes, he needed me.” 

“The team stayed a bit longer to practice some more.” 

That’s when that gut feeling kept nagging at you, resulting in countless negative thoughts running around your mind while you stay in your shared bedroom, alone and awake as the night settled in. Did something go wrong? Did you do something? But then you would feel foolish for having that kind of thoughts. You would reassure yourself, repeating a mantra in your head that everything’s fine, he just needs time to practice. 

It was like a constant play of a broken record inside your head, not letting the fear eat you whole. It was scary, frightening even but you should trust him, you do trust him. 

So you lived as if you have nothing to worry about, understanding that he has to prioritize his career first and that everything will go back to normal soon. He’d start coming home early after the match, you’d feel his skin on yours, the apartment would be filled with laughter and new memories. You hoped it would be like that soon. 

It felt weird, today feels weird for you. It wasn’t that good kind of weird, it was the opposite. Your hands felt clammy, your heartbeat setting an uneven pace and this gut feeling, the familiar gut feeling but much more intense than before. It felt as if something bad is supposed to happen today, as if your body is sending alarming bells to you, trying to warn you about the possible future events that may occur today, that you need to prepare yourself for something. 

But what could it be? 

Going back to reading the text messages you sent to your boyfriend, you felt anxious. Why would he leave you on read? Did something bad happen during their practice today? That might not be the case since someone from the team would’ve called you right away if something happened. You felt silly, crazy even due to how paranoid you are. Who could blame you though? It’s been hours and he hasn’t even thought of replying to your texts. 

You’ve thought about so many possible scenarios, even reaching the point of something happening to the gym. Hell, enough scenarios just to put your mind on edge that causes your legs to shake due to nervousness.  

Reaching for your phone quickly, you inserted the passcode as soon as you heard the familiar ding coming from your phone. 

You bit your lower lip, forcing yourself not to let out a sigh, to show your disappointment. What did you expect though? No matter how hard you try, nothing will change. He prioritizes volleyball over anything. If it’s practice, it’s practice. You should know that by now as you were always there for him, supporting him and cheering him on as he does the thing that he loves. But why can’t you ignore this gut feeling? That same gut feeling that’s been desperate to grab your attention, to make you listen that something is obviously wrong. 

Maybe it’s telling you that an accident might happen so without giving it a second thought, you decided to text the person who you’ve been friends with for a while just to check up on Atsumu.

You were in a state of shock, completely still as you read the message over and over again. Your grip on your phone tightening its hold as your chest felt heavy. Blinking, you haven’t even noticed the tears as they fell, landing on the sheets below you. Your mind whirling with endless amounts of negative scenarios, a bunch of what ifs making your heart ache more. 

But this isn’t the time to mope around and drown in negative scenarios. You need answers, you need to hear the truth and you know the person that can answer every question that you have. 

Atsumu realized that he came home late once again, letting out a sigh as he shut the front door behind him, trying to be quiet as possible too since he noticed how the lights are turned off indicating that you might have fallen asleep. Biting his lower lip, he was on his way to the kitchen to grab something to eat when he noticed someone sitting on the couch. 

“Y/N? You almost gave me a heart attack.” He let out a chuckle, sauntering over to you but felt himself stiffen. 

There you were, hugging your knees close to your chest. Teary-eyed, you looked up at him, “Where were you, Atsumu?” 

“What? I was at practice like everyday.” 

“Don’t lie to me, please.” The way you begged, desperate to know the truth even if it will hurt, even if it will break you. It would be better to know the truth rather than pretending to be living in a healthy and stable relationship with someone you once knew. 

As he stood there, you couldn’t even recognize him anymore. Nothing changed with his physical appearance but it felt like you were talking to a stranger, to someone you barely even know anymore. Your chest tightening as your eyes welling with tears. “Please.” You sobbed 

Holding out his hand, he tried to wipe your tears away. However, you turned your head to the side, not wanting to feel his touch, knowing you’d crumble more in his grasp. Instead, the hand was left hanging in the air as you avoided his gaze, wiping your own tears. Defeated, he sat beside you, watching you carefully. “Did someone tell you?” His voice small. 

You let out a humorless chuckle, wiping your fingers to your shirt as you faced him. “Someone told me some things. You weren’t staying at the gym to practice more, Atsumu. He told me how you would always be the first one to leave practice, always in a hurry yet you always come home late.” You whispered the last few words, voice cracking before clearing your throat. 

Pathetic, you felt pathetic. As the warning bells continued to ring inside your head, you couldn’t help but cling onto one positive thought that maybe, maybe he’s working on something for days and wouldn’t tell anyone. That maybe he was just busy and didn’t think of telling anyone. 

But why would he lie to you? Why would he pretend to be at practice? 

“I’m sorry.” 

“I was planning on telling you but I guess I’ve been a coward for avoiding it. I met someone, Y/N. She makes me happy. I’m sorry you had to find out like this.” 

That part of you that has been trying to give you hope started diminishing at his response. That small part of you that was believing and trusting him, the one that you held onto so so so tightly disappeared, leaving you falling into the void.  The fact that all of the effort and progress that you’ve been trying to do lately came crashing down onto you, pushing you further into the darkness. 

It triggered you. His words triggered something beneath you. I was planning on telling you. I’m sorry you had to find out like this. 

Is he being serious? You felt as if he wasn’t being sincere for his actions, for what he did to you. It felt like it had no effect on him that you found out. If you didn’t find out today, would he still keep on doing it? But what pierced through your heart, what kept repeating in your head was those words. She makes me happy.

Did you fail? Were you not enough? Did you not make him happy? 

It felt as if your body moved on its own, standing up abruptly and slapped him across his face. For once, you didn’t regret your actions. He deserved it. Looking down at him, you tried so hard to memorize his face. Before he could utter another word, you were out of his sight. 

You clenched your fist, feeling your palm burning as it serves as a reminder that you hit him before running to your room to pack your things.

“It looks like they’re coming back.” 

Turning around, you eyed the stadium with a soft, little smile. The banner with his team on it proudly shown as people gather to view the details of the upcoming match. Your gaze landed on his picture, content as you saw how happy he looked especially with his teammates. 

That night, it was the last time you saw him. It’s been almost a year now and admittedly, it’s been tough to get back on your feet but you’re almost there. Your heart might still long for him, it might still ache since there are days that the pain becomes unbearable but you’re thankful for the people around you that have been patient enough to guide you back to your feet. 

“Who’s that? It looks like you know him.” Your friend asked, pointing at the guy you’ve been staring at.

“Don’t worry about it, he’s just some boy.” 

It might be a long process, the healing but you’re willing to undergo through the long process until you can finally move on from everything without feeling the pain, the ache and the misery. For now, you’re just happy for him for achieving his dreams. 

[r3almellow]

Can you write about what kind of parents the Mc + Kiro, Mc + Victor, Mc + Lucien and Mc + Gavin are? I mean if they are doting parents or if strict or something like that? And how they raise there children? Please ❤️

Its Father’s Day so I think its the perfect time to answer this question!! Pls enjoy!

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What type of parents are the MLQC Boys?

Kiro

The fun dad who loves goofing around with his kid. Will play all sorts of games with them and tries to be in their life as much as possible. He knows that with his hectic schedule, he won’t be there every day, but he makes it a point to be around for all things important to his child. If he’s halfway around the world on tour and his precious bean has a dance recital the next day, you better believe he’s front and center for it. How he always makes it there in time? Only Kiro knows the answer to that. His child really thinks their dad is a super hero. Always making things happen with little to no difficulty. They practically gush to all their friends about how great their dad is.

Team Kiro vs Mom all day every day! Kiro is like a kid sometimes and with that comes going against you to get what Kiro 2.0 wants. Sweets before dinner? You got it! Stay up passed bedtime? Of course. Only for 30 more minutes because mommy and I need some alone time. However, when it comes down to it, he does have your back. Can’t be fun dad all the time.  

Loves taking them to work with him. While he’s on set for a commercial or practicing for his upcoming concert, Kiro 2.0 is often backstage or sitting front row in an empty arena watching their dad work completely mesmerized. 

Doesn’t force them to be in the public eye. Kiro’s used to it, but he could understand why all of this would be so daunting, especially for a child.  Anything that makes his kid uncomfortable is something Kiro has to get rid of. The minute lights start flashing from cameras, paparazzi starts swarming them and his Baby Chip starts crying he gets them out of there ASAP. 

Kiro is a very supportive parent as well. Whatever his kid wants to do they will always know that they have the freedom to do it and with Kiro’s full support. 

Teaches them how to be tech savvy from a young age. Its totally fine if its not their thing, but he at least wants them to know the basics of hacking and building a computer. You never know when those things will come in handy. 

Gavin 

Protective dad! No one would dare utter a word, let alone lay a finger on his kid. Baby Bai is Gavin’s pride and joy and those who wish to see another day will stay 100 feet away from them. That also includes potential significant others. While Gavin is protective he does let his child explore. That’s how they learn and he knows that sheltering them won’t help the process. He wants them to learn about the world and have them shape their own views. They might get a few bumps and bruises along the way and even if it kills Gavin, he learns to let it happen. Then he steps in and beats up whoever or whatever gave them those bruises in the first place. 

Often takes them shopping for random things like plants and toys just so they can name them together. And just like Gavin, Baby Bai has an...interesting way of naming things. A total sucker for Baby Bai’s pouts, something they obviously picked up from you, and as a result almost always gives them whatever they want. 

While Gavin isn’t good at being open with his feelings, he tries to show his child that its okay to express themselves. Whether they are afraid, angry, or sad Gavin wants them to express their feelings in a way that is healthy rather than handling how they feel on their own and keeping it to themselves. He knows all too well what keeping bottled up feelings does to a person. 

Teaches them how to fight. It frustrates Gavin to admit that he won’t be around Baby Bai all the time, so they should at least know how to defend themselves and maybe the people around them. Takes them to self defense classes to learn fundamentals and if they don’t like it, that’s fine. He’ll just teach them himself. 

Overall, just a really chill dad. He’s not strict and only wants to make his child feel safe and loved. He wants his child to know that they will always have two parents that love them and will do anything to make sure they’re happy. 

Victor

Victor as a dad is a sight to behold. You would think he was a super strict parent and in some aspects, he is. Like, when it comes to school. He doesn't demand them come home with straight "A's" but he does expect them to at least try to put effort into doing things. If they are having a hard time he will do all he can to help. Hire a tutor, help them himself, or find other alternatives.

Makes sure to ask them what they want before throwing expectations on them. He learned very early with dealing with you that forcing a situation even when he thinks its for their betterment isn't the way to go. That being said...HE SPOILS THEM ROTTEN. But he doesn't see it as him spoiling them. So what if he's spent who knows how much on Disneyland tickets between Paris, Hong Kong, and California just so his precious Mini Li could see the differences between the Sleeping Beauty Castles with their own eyes? It was a learning experience for them. Victor can't live without putting a smile on his child's face. Even if you tease him about it, he won't care.

He does try not to go overboard. Even though the child comes from a family with money, he wants them to be well grounded and not lose touch of things that are important. He also wants them to work hard for the things they want.

Teaches them how to cook and often speaks French with them to build up on important skills. 

Victor’s employees have never in their lives witnessed their boss, who’s normally cold and calculating in a boardroom, smile with such tenderness until Mini Li graced them with their presence for the first time. The way he can go from ripping someone to shreds with only his eyes to gazing lovingly at his child and giving them the warmest of hugs would make anyone think the man was a completely different person. Definitely something they all talked about for about a week. 

Lucien

The minute Tiny Xu came into the world it was like everything Lucien All he wanted to do was protect his child from the cruel world around them. Just wants to be in the moment with his child. Anything can happen and he doesn’t want to miss a thing when it comes to them. 

Takes them on adorable dates like picnic dates and aquarium dates. Sends adorable selfies to you if you’re not around.

Has them join in on teasing you just because ‘having two against one is all the more fun.’ according to Lucien. He’s not lax with his parenting, but he’s not strict either. His parenting style is a bit of a happy balance. Will never force them to do something they don’t want to do or makes them uncomfortable. 

Whatever fascinates Tiny Xu, Lucien will always encourage them to pursue it. He wants his child to make choices that they’ll be happy with and never fill themselves with regret.

Doesn’t really teach them much about neuroscience unless Tiny Xu shows interest. Has caught them wearing his lab coats a few times with a few of their children books in hand while “teaching” a group of their stuffed animals. 

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Like my writing? Check out my MLQC masterpost! 

For more shenanigans with the MLQC Boys and their kids check out some of my other works: 

MLQC Boys vs Their Children

MLQC Boys and the Babysitter Club

MLQC Boys With A Child That’s Being Bullied

[sweetsbfreex]

Grandpa Styles

Dating harry styles, was like dating a grandpa; selective at times. That’s the only way to describe it.

Harry being twenty-six and you twenty-two, the age gap wasn't that big a difference, but with harry’s grandpa stature, It made all the difference. After your first date you both head to his place to watch a movie and indulge in some innocent cuddling. 

Plopping yourself on the couch, you smiled up at him as he walked around to his spot next to you, two bowls and drinks bottles in his hand. 

“what are you feeling for” he asked handing you a bowl 

“thank you, uhm maybe something on netflix?” you asked, turning your head towards him. 

He looked at you sheepishly, reaching his hand to fiddle with the back of his neck, a tiny smirk on his face. 

“i don’t really have that” he stated softly

“...you don’t have netflix?! how do you survive?” mouth agape.

he chuckled at that, the smile not leaving his lips any time soon.

“can i log in? let me show you the wonderful world of The Vampire Diaries”

He hummed his reply, handing you the remote to his tv. just as you were logging into that, you felt the sudden motion of both his arms wrapping around your torso as he pulled you closer to his side.

you looked up at him smiling once again, doing a lot of that when you were around him, pressing play on the remote.

                                                           -

It had been about two months now and his grandpa status only grew more prominent from there. you’re netflix account stayed logged into his tv, even made his own profile which got you a bit (alot) giddy. And finished the vampire diaries together and now you were onto the originals. He surprisingly enjoyed the show, deciding that he was team delena all the way. 

But when you texted him that was a different story... 

 He was currently at a shoot, you couldn’t go since you had zoom classes to attend to. While you waited for the next class to begin you could see your phone lighting up. Opening it you saw that he had sent you a cute mirror picture of the outfit he was about to take photos in. 

what do you think baby?

wig! you look so cute h 💓

wig?? i’m not wearing one for this shoot 

no h lmaoo, not like that. 

y/n we’ve talked about this, english please can barely understand anything you send me half the time lovie

✨no✨ you need to download urban dictionary bub; wig: like something exciting or crazy just happened that made you so shocked that your wig flew off so in short: wig!

so i look good?

you look fantastic bb!!

thank you all it’s needed 🥱 

not the emoji...who is this again?? what have u done to my boyfriend

                                                          -

Once he understood something though, he understood. Letting out a triumphant ha! usually followed by something along the lines of ‘understood you this time’ like a cute puppy, you would reward him with kisses all over his face. His friends would see the slight difference in his text and his way with words. Sometimes teasing him with a ‘your becoming y/n’. That only made him and your heart flutter more, knowing there was a slight piece of you in him.

You spent a lot of time on your phone, begrudgingly this was something Harry would try to help you with, “too much screens isn’t good for you love”

While you always rebutted with a “i know, i know but i don't wanna miss this” in the end of course he was right, so by that you always spent at least the first thirty minutes when you woke up away from both of your phones.

in result, whenever you talked to him, he would get very confused on what you meant with all the slang that he just doesn’t pay attention to.

Lying in bed, arms wrapped around each other and your face in his chest while you told him one of the dumbest, but fondest memories you had with your friends. 

“why would you do something that dangerous”

“well excuse me mr. bit my tongue off, i don’t know it was fun, can you let me live” you groaned out. 

“let. you. live?...what are you doing now”

“h, you’re such a grandpa, you know that?” you giggled, pinching his cheek

he pinched your side with the arm that was caressing your back, “heyyyy, i’m not a grandpa you’re just weird”

“nope, everyone sees it, but it’s okay you’re a cute grandpa, even have the outfits to match it” you said reaching up to kiss his fake pout. 

“this is why you call me grandpa all the time” he retracted his head to look at you, a incredulous look on his face. 

it was true, after you first learned he didn’t have netflix, was always confused with what you said or sent, his music taste, and the outfits! you couldn’t help yourself it was a done deal. He was just an old man in an cute guys’ body. 

“mhmm they call you grandpa styles”

-

i’ve had this in my head for soooo long i just needed to get it out, kind of all over the place and messy so i’ll maybe edit it later, kinda wanna make a part 2 idkkk

if you enjoyed pls don’t forget to reblog or give feedback if ur up to it <3

[h50europe]

Why the ending of the series finale felt off for many of us (and what PL could have had really in mind) - Aphorisms

As you can easily see from the photos, season 11 was a safe bet, as was a new team member, McCole. What could have been, it says, written by Justin, the wife of Alex stunt/stand-in double. I'm going to play the advocatus diaboli.

In the penultimate episode of H50, Lenkov created a new character. He was sort of based on Steve, but also not. As it turned out in the last episode, Cole and Steve also had a mutual friend: Catherine. Why does that not really surprise us? The rumor mill was really churning, and it was a given that PL was definitely going to bring her on board. So, without further ado, he made her a key person. She was the one who cracked the ominous code that Doris had left for her son. Question, couldn't Jerry have done that just as well?

Anyway, PL set up Cole and Steve. But the chemistry - for us - wasn't really there. They could have just as easily put anyone next to Steve. PL built on the military past of the two (what else) and finally the common denominator: Catherine. Oh, how original. NOT. If you look at this constellation, you can already guess where this was going. But there remained this one obstacle: Danny.

Well, no problem, Lenkov thought and had him kidnapped without further ado. All planned because of all the great McDanno moments we got to see in season 10. So appropriately for lulling, even if these moments did not have nearly as much heart as in previous seasons, but hey, the fans would swallow and relish it, PL thought.

Then came the obligatory threatening call from Daiyu Mei (note the clever pun ala Yoda: die you may...), and the drama unfolded. The whole thing was further clarified by the words of Wo Fat's ex: "I have the person you care about most in the world." Bummer, as she is not talking about Catherine but Danny. Queerbaiting at its worst. Then comes the usual. And during the escape attempt, Danny, who is already half-dead, gets shot. So far, so good, or not.

Danny's injuries could have easily been fatal. So now I'm going off the premise and just claiming that this was PL's original plan. Why? PL did mention at one point that he could imagine H50 without Steve or Danny, but he certainly wasn't stupid enough to believe that. It was nothing more than a smoke grenade. But what PL had wanted for a long time was the end of McDanno. He preferred another ship. But while McDanno sailed blithely across the seven seas, PL's fav ship never left the harbor. But now, he had the ultimate opportunity with a new, equal partner at Steve's side (Book'em Cole), who also pulled Catherine out of a hat.

PL's heart did somersaults. What a great plan that was. Alex didn't say anything about really wanting to quit, even after the series ended. While he had been open about his departure after season 7, there was no need to hide this fact now in season 10. And as you can easily see, all signs were pointing toward season 11. What PL didn't count on was the massive resistance from CBS.

In contrast to PL, they had no problems with Scott/Danny or McDanno. They knew that this was the heart and soul of the show. And PL's protector Moonves was no longer available because he had been kicked out of the network. So PL's back was against the wall. And nothing and nobody could change that. Too bad, because actually, PL had everything perfectly planned.

Danny would either die on the way to the hospital or later in the hospital. This would lead Steve to a massive revenge attack, which should have ended in a brilliant showdown (brilliant for PL, not necessarily for the fans), but Daiyu Mei escapes eventually. Then, Steve would have been driving around aimlessly. We were possibly shown some flashbacks, only to end up at Casa McGarrett, where Catherine would have already been waiting for him. Nice reversal of the goodbye scene from season 6.

The conversation between Steve and her would have been similar to Danny's, except that it wouldn't have been about his parents, but about Danny and that he just can't take it in Hawaii any longer. Too much reminds him of his dead friend. Steve also wanted to pay his final respect and bring him back home to Jersey. Of course, Catherine suggests joining him. What else? Now that one ship sunk, PL could easily replace it with HIS fav ship. And because Cole has done so well, Steve also entrusts him with the task force's leadership. Before Steve leaves to accompany Danny on his last journey, he hands Cole his credentials.

Steve and Cath stand next to each other at the airport and watch as Danny's coffin is loaded onto the plane. Then they board the plane together, ending with them holding hands as we know it. Fade out, season 10 ends.

How would it have continued in season 10? Danny's funeral would have happened off-screen, like so many other pivotal scenes. Steve would have maybe spent an episode or two mulling it over and then returned to Hawaii to hunt down Daiyu Mei with Cole and the team, which now included Catherine.

So much for Lenkov's wet dream, um, plan. However, because CBS knew that McDanno was the heart and soul of the series, they found this idea more than lousy and turned PL down. We could imagine that Alex also threw in that he would certainly not continue without Scott. There was a short back and forth, and it was decided to cancel the show. So we've come full circle to the sloppy, heartless execution of the last episode and the absolutely meaningless words PL put in Steve's mouth as a result. Due to lack of creativity and apparent lack of time, the deadline seemed to be predetermined, considering how quickly the soundstages at Diamond Studios were obliterated.

The crew was equally surprised when PL succinctly informed them that there would be no season 11. See the post from an angry crew member on IG.

Can we prove any of this? Nope, but it's the only reasonable explanation for why the show ended the way it did. Namely, completely illogical, with a Steve who was more than just off the rails. At the very beginning of the series, Steve gives completely different reasons for staying. If you do a rewatch, you'll see.

Everybody knows that you don't solve problems by running away. You don't get rid of the weight that you carry around with you. Steve may be a stubborn mule, but one thing he has never been: self-centered. And if Danny was really the most important thing in the world to him, as Mei said, then he wouldn't have dumped him in the end. Because that's what you do when you really love someone, you stay and fight against all odds. Especially when someone is in a bad place, like Danny, who has just jumped from the brink of death.

You don't suddenly go on a self-realization trip and kick the person who's already lying on the ground. But that's exactly what Steve did. At least the way PL wrote the part. The man must have really lost it when he wrote those lines. I'm sure he was enjoying pure schadenfreude.

And if you take a close look at the two protagonists, you can clearly see the reluctance with which they shared it all with the audience. There was no more room for any affectionate ad-lib actions that we knew from before. They could only stubbornly reel off what was in the script. PL would have done well to sit down with Scott and Alex and find a common solution instead of imposing his version on them and the audience. That's what people with integrity do, but the man never any.

In our opinion, the show's ending ranks among the dumbest and most unimaginative of all time. Rarely a person manages to drive a show against the wall in such a way and at the same time assassinated the main characters. PL shouldn't be proud of it. He should rather stand in a corner and be ashamed of himself.

And now you can go ahead and bash us, or just ignore the whole thing and keep on scrolling. Thank you for your time and for letting us share our thoughts with you.

[all-my-love-for-harry]

Delicate. — Part 1.

word count: 2.6k

a/n: Here we are fam, i gotta be honest with y’all, this is heavily inspired in the fact that i watched Miss Americana twice this month, what resulted in me going through my taylor swfit phase again. Pls bare with me, i haven’t written anything like this before.

catch up here!

They said artists become what they are because deep down they are as insecure if not more than normal people. Because they craved constant validation in what they do. 

At least it was the case for Y/n. 

A girl who has built an entire system around being accepted by the public, someone who their major source of happiness is provided by strangers all around the world. When you are living from the approval of strangers and that is where you drive all your joy and fulfillment, one bad thing can cause everything to go down. Y/n has spent her whole life trying to please the world so they would like her, so what she has achieved over the years would last. 

When the world turned their back on her, Y/n had no choice but to disappear, because she thought that was what everyone wanted. Even then, she made her choices around what she thought would make them happy.

Y/n knew she could not hide forever, but for now, it was a necessary evil she had to take. Deciding to take a break from everything was the healthiest decision she has ever made, shutting down her social media, getting out of the city and going back home with her family was exactly what she needed. 

"Mom was sad she couldn't pick you up from the airport."

Seventeen-year-old Jensen, whose driving license was still new and fresh, was the one who picked Y/n up when her flight landed. In complete honesty, she did not like using a private plane, but she could not risk someone seeing where she was going. Jensen was good at driving, well, he has not crashed into a tree yet, so they were safe. 

"She would've brought Chase and scare Pandora and Lizzie." 

Jensen chuckled. "She's obsessed with him. I haven't started college yet and she's already thinking about turning my room into Chase's." 

Her parents’ house was a gated property away from others since it was safer that way. Y/n would not stay there the whole time since she had her own apartment a little closer to town. Her luggage, as well as her cats, were picked up separately and taken to her home, she would go there after lunch with her family. Jensen parked next to a black range rover that belonged to their dad, meaning both of their parents were home. 

Y/n threw her backpack over her shoulder as she stepped out of the car, eager to finally reunite with her family, especially her mother. She is in desperate need of a tight hug, a mug of hot chocolate and a shoulder to cry on. Y/n did not realize how mentally drained she was until she saw her mother open the front door. 

"My baby!" Louise exclaimed, embracing her daughter in a tight hug. "How was the flight?" 

"It was fine. I'm starving though." 

They walked into the living room and Louise closed the door behind them. Y/n dropped her backpack on one of the couches and sighed in relief. “Where’s dad?” Jensen went straight to the kitchen and opened the fridge.

“Get the white wine.” Y/n told him.

“It’s too early to drink that.” Louise took the bottle from Jensen’s hands and put it back in the fridge. “Dad’s outside. We bought some roses that will look beautiful by the pool.”

“You’re buying a lot of plants lately.” Y/n pointed a big vase full of daisies, her mom’s favorites, on the kitchen’s island. 

“I like supporting local business.” She shrugged.

“That and she’s obsessed with the owner of the flower shop.” Jensen chuckled, cracking open a water bottle. 

“Hey! That’s not true.” 

“Mom, you there like… every day. Who needs new flowers every day?”

“Shush.” The elder woman faked offense then gigged. “Handsome young man, he is. I’ll take you tomorrow.” She turned to Y/n. 

“Oh, no, mom. I’m going to lock myself in my apartment and try to write.” She said, making Louise scoff. “I’m serious!”

“I know you are. But living like a hermit is not going to do you any good.”

“I agree, sis.” 

Y/n rolled her eyes, knowing they were right as always but did not want to admit it. The truth was, she wanted to write some songs, so badly, but could not find the right words. She was hoping to get some peace and quiet to get her ideas and emotions in order again. Before any of them could say anything else, David entered the kitchen while taking off his gardening gloves and smiled widely when he spotted Y/n.

“And who do we have here?”

“Hi, dad.” Y/n smiled at him brightly before wrapping her arms around her dad, who hugged her back just as tight. 

“Good to have you home, darling.” 

The family of four sat on the kitchen island and started to catch up. Jensen talked about his different college options and how he was considering getting a summer job this year. Louise kept talking about how nice the owner of this flower shop was, making emphasis on how he was also single. Y/n didn’t know what she was trying to do, but she didn’t pay much attention either. 

Overall it was nice for Y/n to get out of her head for a little bit, and her family was always a great help for that. She knew she still had a lot to deal with, and she would probably get a call from her publicist and a lot of other people soon, but for now, she just wanted to think about anything else that wasn't the whole world hating on her. 

"How are you doing, Y/n? Be honest." Her mom asked after they stayed alone in the kitchen.

"Been better." She sighed. "I don't want to think about it, mom."

"You have to talk to someone, sweetie. I know your team cares for you and is trying to handle the situation, but you can still talk to me."

"I know, thank you. I'm just trying to figure it what I'm going to do."

Louise sighed. "You sure you don't want to stay here? You have your room and everything."

"Thanks for the offer, mom. But I sort of want to be on my own." She said. "But I'll come for lunch every day, I promise."

Although Louise wasn't convinced by her daughter's words, she chose to not push it. She knew Y/n had her own ways to express her feelings, and she'd talk whenever she felt like it. So she let her go, making her promise she'd come to visit soon.

"Do you need a ride? I'm going to town anyway." Jensen offered, taking the keys of his car from the little plate they kept on the table beside the front door. 

"Yes, please."

The drive to her apartment wasn't a long one, and in less than ten minutes she was opening her front door and being greeted by her two beautiful cats rubbing themselves on her legs. Y/n sighed, thinking about how much she needed to unpack now that she was here. The truth was, she didn't know for how long she'd be staying here, but she figured it'd be a long time so she packed a lot. Now she kind of regretted it because she would probably be in her pajamas all day anyway. 

After cleaning Pandora and Lizzie's sandbox, Y/n decided to grab an acoustic guitar and try to come up with some melodies. She wasn't quite sure about any lyrics yet, but it was always good to have a little something to start a song. 

She went from playing the guitar to play the piano, hoping she'd get more inspirations somewhere. But she had nothing. Not even one decent note. She was empty. 

"Don't pretend is... mhmm. Think about the... No." She groaned and slammed the palm of her hands on the keyboard, growing frustrated. Why all of a sudden she couldn't even rhyme? Maybe she needed a break, or perhaps she was tired from her flight and tomorrow she'd be able to write something.

//

Turns out her writer's block was here to stay. A week has passed since her arrival and Y/n hasn't been able to finish one single song. Everything she started ended up being erased or in the middle of her living room after the ripped the page off her journal. 

"I told you, you shouldn't hurry. Inspiration will come eventually, it always does."

"I guess. I just have nothing else to do other than play scrabble with you and write songs, or at least try to."

"Let me take out then." Louise started and Y/n shakes her head. "C'mon, let's eat somewhere or buy groceries and I'll cock at your place." Y/n looked at her mom and realized she wouldn't stop until she accepted, so Y/n offered Louise a nod. "Marvelous. There's this little café that I absolutely love. You'll love the owner."

"What is it with you and the owners of local shops?"

"They're my friends. Oh! We could drop by Blossom House. You could use some flowers around your house so it would look like somebody actually lives there."

"Stop dragging me, woman."

Louise drove them to this café called Furry Cakes, which turned out to be a cat café. Y/n obviously lost it as soon as they walked in, and nearly cried when she saw all the kittens, and absolutely shed a tear when the girl behind the register said every kitty except for one named Chaster was up for adoption. She felt like a little girl all over again when her mom told her she couldn't take every single kitty home. 

Y/n was wearing a hoodie that was twice her size, plus some big sunglasses she refused to take off, even inside of the café. She was praying she wouldn't get recognized as she knew people were dying for a picture of her, see how she was after the entire world canceled her. 

"We'll leave the car parked here, the flower shop is just around the corner." Louise pulled from Y/n's hand to make her walk faster. There weren't a lot of people on the streets and she was grateful for that, she hasn't gotten a proper walk in what felt like ages. 

They stopped outside a modern-looking building with a big, bright sign that read 'The Blossom House'. It was simple yet cute. The pair stepped in and a little bell ringed. Y/n looked around, admiring how everything looked like it was straight out of a fairytale. There were little pots hanging from the ceiling and she looked up, she saw the ceiling was pure glass, which made the whole place brighter. Flowers weren't really her thing as she could barely keep them alive, but seeing this amount of flowers all in the same place... made her somewhat happy and warm inside. 

She was so deep in thought she didn't even realize her mom left her and was nowhere to be found. It doesn't look like it from outside, but the shop was actually big and very spacious. It was also empty right now, not even an employee was around, so she decided to have a look on her own. It looked like they had all kinds of flowers in here, which made her even more excited because that meant they had-

"Azaleas? They're also my favorites." A deep voice interrupted her thoughts. She jumped on her place as she wasn't expecting it, which made the person behind her chuckle. "I didn't mean to scare you, sorry."

"It's okay..." She turned around and it was fair to say that was she saw stunned her right away.

In front of her, a gorgeous looking man was standing there with a bright smile on his face. She noticed the two dimples poking at each side of his face, making his smile even more beautiful. His emerald green eyes were the greenest eyes she has ever seen in her life, she believed. He had crinkles by his eyes due to his smile being wide. But to her, the icing of the cake was the beautiful mop of chocolate curls he had on the top of his head. She suddenly felt the insane urge to run her hands through it just to see if they were as soft as they looked. 

"Harry, darling!" Louise appeared out of nowhere and wrapped her arms around the man, who only chuckled while reciprocating the greeting.

"Hello, Louise. What's it gonna be today? Tulips? More daisies?" Oh God, he's British. Y/n thought to herself. 

"Gosh, you know me so well. I'm actually here just to look around, I see you found my daughter though." She smirked.

"I surely did. I'm Harry, nice to meet you, love." He offered her a hand for her to shake.

Y/n was a little surprised by the pet name but took his hand nonetheless. "I'm Y/n, nice to meet you too."

"I want her to get some plants for her house." Louise spoke again.

"Well, you're in the right place then." He said. "Do you want them for your garden?"

"No, uhm... I don't have one. I live in an apartment."

"Personally, my favorite to keep indoors are Begonias." Harry guided the two women to a different section of the flower shop and pointed to some pretty ones in pink color. "But I also enjoy Daylilies, although they're a little harder to maintain."

"Yeah, maybe not those then. I'm not very good at keeping plants alive."

"She killed a cactus once." Louise mentioned. 

"No way." 

"I didn't know they'd drown if I watered them more than once a week!" Y/n defended herself. 

"Amateur mistake." He joked. 

The truth was Y/n was too busy to have a garden, she was always traveling and didn't stay too long in one place so even if she tries to have one, it'd be dead by the end of the month. 

"What plants are cat friendly? I have two at home."

"Bromeliads are cat friendly, they're easy to maintain too."

They looked around for a little bit. Harry said a fun fact about every type of flower Y/n pointed out, never failing to make her laugh. The funny thing was, it didn't look like Harry knew who she was. Either he hasn't recognized her, or he didn't know about her. Which by the way, not to be a narcissist, would be highly unlikely.

She ended up taking a couple of new plants home, starting to grow excited about them. It was true, her apartment could use a little more life to it, and now she was sure her new plants would do that for her. Harry was wrapping everything for them while he stood behind the counter.

"Oh, here. This one's on the house." Harry handed her a pot with some beautiful blue Azaleas. She took them with a growing blush on her face, a blush that went deeper when their hands brushed with each other. "Try to not kill them though." He teased.

Y/n rolled her eyes as her mom chuckled behind her. "I'll report their aliveness back to you, you'll see."

"You better. Have a nice day, ladies. I'm guessing I'll see you around, Y/n?"

"Sure, I'm uh... I'm living here right now."

Harry smiled at them one last time before they exited the shop. After the door closed behind them, Louise turned to Y/n. "He likes you."

"Don't be ridiculous."

"What do you say if we invite him for dinner sometime?"

"Like, at your house?" She asked surprised.

"Yeah, why not?"

"I have to keep a low profile, mother. For all I know he could be tweeting about I just exited his shop."

"Don't let the paranoia ruin the possibility of forming new friendships... or more." Louise sent her a wink.

"Okay, that's enough."

Y/n brushed her off, trying not to think much about it. A new friendship sounded impossible at this point of her life, let alone pursuing a new relationship with someone. She had made up her mind, she was better off being alone.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

I’m Here

CW: Negative stimming including stimming resulting in self-injury, pet whump, death of parents, grief, ableism, past noncon references, r*pe survivor having severe PTSD flashbacks, memory of shock collars, derogatory language, dehumanization, meltdown/panic attack, whump of a minor referenced repeatedly. 

This is Chris in a very dark place - stay safe.

Directly follows Found Out, Akio, and Chris Sees.

Come on, 223499-

I'm Tristan! My, my, my name is Tristan, Tristan H-Higgs and I l, I, I live at-... but, um, no, no, at my, my my aunt's ap, apartment now-

Tristan Higgs is a fucking corpse, kid. You don't have a name anymore.

No, I'm, my, my name is, is, is-is-

 Your name is for your prospective to choose. Now let me show you how we shut you up.

 The boy is screaming, twisting, writhing in pain on the floor, clawing at the black collar around his neck, desperate to somehow escape it, but there isn’t any way out. He digs his fingernails down his skin but it’s still there, the collar never leaves, you’re only safe with your collar on, no wait that hadn’t happened yet-

Oh, that’s nice. Time for the Drip for you. 

N-no, no-

Welcome home, 223499.

M-my name is, is, is Tristan-

Chris slams the door on his way into the bathroom, locks it behind him, sweeps everything off the counter with a crash, plastic bottles of soap bouncing, a toothpaste container clicking against the tile, the toothbrush holder shattering and sending shards of ceramic pale on one side and rainbow-painted on the other everywhere. He stares at them clicking over the floor before they stop, some of them skimming the tile all the way to the wall. 

Inside his head, there is a cry, bubbling up behind the wall that his life has been hidden behind, deep inside the cold pale light that all the worst things drown in. 

Beneath the Drip, the needle in his arm, beneath the pain, the fear, the hands that moved over him and the bodies that moved inside him and the voice in his ear whispering, pet, pet, pet until he was one, until he wasn’t anything else any longer, until he was ready to be overwritten.

My, my, my name is Tristan Higgs, my name is, is, is Tristan, my name is-

Didn’t I tell you Tristan Higgs is dead, trainee? All that’s left of you is my pretty little whore. You wanted it so bad you signed up for this. Now get on your knees and show your handler some respect.

No, pl-please, please I don’t-, I, I, I don’t want to, I-

What you want doesn’t matter anymore, 223499. 

Please-

What you want is irrelevant, trainee. Now let me show you what I want.

Inside his head there is a boy, screaming, his wrists forced down by larger hands, body rocked in a rhythm of terrible pain while a stranger who will be his entire world whispers in his ear, I paid extra for this and you did not disappoint, darlin’.

There’s a boy alone in a white room, painting with his own blood on pristine white walls, just to see color, just to see something, anything, that isn’t nothing at all. There’s a boy, alone, whispering apologies to the parents he is losing, their memories slip-sliding under the surface until they are gone.

There is a boy, screaming.

Chris screams with him, their voices in tandem, in echo, but it's the same voice, and the scream was always him, always Tristan Higgs inside him, buried beneath it all.

Chris screams until his throat is raw, bashes his hands into the mirror until it rattles under his fists, rocks forward to knock his head into it. Again, and again, and again, rattling it inside the frame, trying to force a break. The chaos inside him is too much, too strong, and at the center of the train tracks is her face, always her face, her hands, her lips moving and fighting to speak, her face. 

 I love you, baby, I l-love you, it's okay, it's okay-

 Mom, please, pl-... please, no, no no no, I’m, I’m s-sorry, I’m so so sorry, I’m, I’m sorry-

 Sssshhh, baby, it’s-... it’s okay, it’ll b-be okay, Tris, Mommy loves you, h-honey, Mommy-... loves you s-so much-... Her eyes shining like marbles, her blood on the wall, burbling from her chest as she fought and fought to breathe and then she stopped and her eyes, her eyes stayed open…

 He laid with her and she was so cold and no one came to help him and no one came and they were both so cold and he stayed with them all night, wailing into her shirt soaked in blood, into his side, laid down between them and tried to keep them warm with blankets but they were gone and it didn’t matter and it was-

 If it weren’t for you, she’d still be alive.

 His aunt looks at him with hate or stares through him and there’s no routine and there’s no therapy and Aki is gone and his phone is gone and he hurts himself desperately just to feel something other than the chaos and the noise and the cracking, shrieking angry pain inside him, the guilt the blame the hate and oh, how he hates himself for not staying still the one time it counted and no one is coming and no one loves him anymore because they’re gone and his aunt doesn’t love him because he should never have been born-

 If he weren’t born she’d still be alive-

 "It's not okay!" He screams again, tearing at his hair, clawing at his arms, dragging deep red welts down on each side, trying to dig the pain out from inside of him. “It’s not okay, it’s, it’s, it’s not, it’s, it’s not, not, not, not-not-not, not okay, not-”

 Please, pl-please, let, let, let me go-

 Told you to stop rocking, didn’t I? You did this to yourself. Be still, statue boy.

 Pl-please, I, I don’t know how-

 You’ll learn.

 His head snaps to the side with the imagined memory of a slap to the face, his breath catches with the pale shade of the shock collar lighting him up, nerves sparking shrieking agony, the needle in his arm, it's in his arm again this isn’t freedom he’s just gone crazy from drugs again and he’s on the Drip again and he was never not on the Drip he was, was never free no one saved him no one is coming-

 He rocks forward, again and again, banging his head into the mirror until there's blood, until it cracks, bad luck for seven years, Tris, sucks to be us, and they laughed, the two of them, carefully picking the shards up to put in the wastebin and Aki grinned at him, unbothered, because his mom would probably forgive them and it wasn’t a big deal-

 Let’s, let’s, let’s make up a, a routine, Aki, yeah?

 Yeah, sure, but can we like… be normal teenagers for a half-hour first?

 Um, how, how do we-

 I thought we might start by watching TV and not doing our homework. You know, get crazy with it. Maybe even go super crazy and eat leftover pizza.

 Chris's lips curl back from his teeth and he stares at himself in the mirror, his wide green eyes and pale eyebrows that darkened a little with age, blue hair that hangs around his face, frames the lines of his cheekbones. The gash along his forehead where he hit the mirror hard enough to open it, bright red blood welling up and slowly seeping out.

 He lifts one hand, pressing his fingertips to the crack in the mirror that matches the cut in his forehead. There’s a little bit of blood there, and it smears under his fingers. For a second, he’s fascinated by it, the liquid that slips along, ripples his reflection.

 It doesn’t feel like part of him. It’s just something he can control, when he can’t control anything else.

 Behind him, the doorknob rattles, but Chris barely notices. “Chris?” It’s Jake’s voice, and Chris swallows, ignores the push, the urge, to let him in. Instead he keeps looking at himself, tries to see the boy inside his head, the boy in the room, under the men, the boy screaming in his head while his mouth learned to say all the words they wanted.. 

 Come here, pretty-... oh, look at you, so full of tears for me, hm? 

 On your back, gorgeous boy.

 On your knees, pretty pet.

 What you want doesn’t matter anymore.

 No isn’t an option for you any longer.

 Don’t I always give you options, pretty thing? You can choose to be good, my good little slut, or…

 “You, you, you can choose pain,” Chris whispers, finishing the sentence that started in his handler’s voice, in his mind. “Too, too, too… pretty to, to be for anything else. Too pretty… too, too pretty for, for, for…”

 He nails the dismount for the first time on the the bars, his body does exactly what he wants, and he looks up to see his mom cheering for him, and he jumps up and down, hands moving, rocking with his happiness, and his team cheers for him, and his scores are really good so he can go to state and he’s so happy-

 He’s so happy-

 She’s so proud of him-

 There’s a hand in his hair, jerking his head back to look up at his Sir, who smiles down at him, and Tristan can barely see him through his tears. He’s tied down and he can’t escape and he doesn’t know it’s his Sir, yet, he was still Tristan then but his Sir’s hand is in his hair and he whispers, God, I love that you came already flexible for me, sweetheart…

 Please, n-no, please, I don’t want, want this, please, I-I-I don’t, I, I-... I need h-help, I didn’t… sign, yet, please call, call, call the the the-the cops-

 Sssshhh. Sir’s finger to his lips, and he didn’t dare bite, even then. Hands on his wrists, forcing them down against the table. His back arches, trying to get away, and his Sir laughs at him, low soft chuckle, and boy weeps, turning his head to the side. You’re going to be perfect, sweet boy, I can already tell.

 No, no, no no no, no, pl-please don’t, please, please, no, no, g-god, oh oh oh god, oh god, no-

 I paid extra for this, and you did not disappoint.

 The pain, when it comes, is blinding and never-ending and Tristan Higgs is screaming. 

No one cares.

No one will come to save him.

 Chris groans, pulling at his hair, trying to rip it out by the roots to settle his jangling shrieking nerves, scratching his fingernails down his cheeks as deep sa he can, smacking his hands again and again into the broken mirror, shrieking at the pretty face split apart by the cracks. A piece of the mirror falls out into the sink, and Jake is still talking, trying to open the door, but Chris isn’t listening.

 He can’t hear Jake over the sound of his own mind turning against him, spitting memories he’d thought were gone, but no, dead things don’t always decay, sometimes they just wait to come back and tear out your throat and show you how it’s all your fault.

 What about you, Tris? Mrs. Nakamura’s voice is gently teasing, soft and unassuming. She’s sitting with a book in a soft cozy chair somewhere with nice warm lights, and everyone watches Tristan’s hands move to tap on himself without judgement, without shame. We all know Aki can’t take his eyes off of that pretty Nicole girl-

 Mom. No. Please, please do not talk about this. Oh my god. She’s just my teammate!

 I’m just being silly, Aki. 

 It’s, um, it’s okay, Mrs. Na, na, Nakamura. I’m just-... nobody for, for, for me, right now. Tristan’s face is red, he’s blushing, and he hasn’t really thought about it much, beyond just thinking everyone is pretty, but he hasn’t told his mom yet, and-

 Oh, well, maybe later. You two are so busy getting ready for state, anyway. 

 He can hear Jake back on the stairs, now, thumping down them and away, and Chris’s hands move rapidly over the sink and counter, avoiding the bits of shattered mirror. He’s standing in ceramic but he doesn’t notice, he doesn’t care. His body doesn’t belong to him, anyway, his body belongs to his handler his owner his rescuer his anyone but him it’s not his it’s not his body, they took his body and he doesn’t get it back…

 He wants his body back.

 He yanks open the drawer, shoving through the disposable shaving razors that Jake buys, the nail-clipping kit he keeps in here, a stupid little comb that he can’t see any use for, rolls of gauze and bandages, tossing them to the floor, until he finds what he’s looking for. 

 A pair of scissors, used mostly for gauze and bandages, big shining metal scissors that weigh heavy in his hands.

 Chris stares up at himself in the remaining mirror, pulls a hank of his hair out straight with one hand, and clips right through it with the scissors. He lets out an exhale, and grabs another bit of hair, and does it again.

 Blue drifts down to gather with the broken glass in the sink and on the floor, piling higher and higher as Chris keeps cutting, staring into his eyes and not looking at how even the cut is. He looks at the bloody mess on his forehead-

 Mom, please, I’m sorry, I’m sorry I, I, I moved, I’m so so sorry, I’m sorry…

 It’s okay, baby-

 Blood on the wall, he stayed there all night and no one came. She was cold, he couldn’t keep her warm all by himself.

 “It’s, it’s not okay,” Chris whispers, and Sir’s hand is heavy on his neck, look at how you ruined yourself since you left me, darlin’, but his Sir can’t stop him because his Sir is dead, too. Everyone who cares for him dies but Jake and Antoni and Laken and maybe they’ll die, too, because of him, because he’s too pretty to be for anything else-

 There’s blood on the featureless white wall and he pulls it through his fingers and it’s something that’s not white, he barely recognizes it as his blood, it’s just bright red and feels good under his fingers, the blood cools and dries so he hits his head and makes more, and more, and more-

 He keeps cutting, until what’s left is a shaggy, unkempt mess, different lengths all over, and all his hard-won long hair is gone. He has wisps that hang over his forehead, little bits that tickle the tops of his ears. He cuts until it’s just little scruffs, barely blue at all. 

 He drops the scissors into the sink on top of the pile of blue hair, runs his hands back through his hair, watches more loose bits drift slowly downward.

 He lifts his hands and takes out his piercings, one by one, dropping them into the sink with the hair, until his ears are bare, too, and his eyebrow. Nothing but a thin narrow face, nothing but freckles that stand out too much, nothing but big eyes and chin. 

 He pulls his shirt off over his head, and then his compression shirt. Takes off his pants and his boxers and then straightens to stare at himself naked in the bit of mirror still left.

 “I, I’m good for you,” He whispers, tilts his head just right, looks up at himself through his eyelashes. His look is warm and liquid and well-trained, a show of desire he’s never once felt. He bites down on his lower lip, just so, hand moving as if to brush a bit of hair back - but the hair he might have touched is gone, it’s in the pile in the sink. 

 The look is ruined by what he’s done.

 Good.

Wide green eyes, yeah, let’s see those eyes nice and empty for me, trainee, but they’re red-rimmed and shadowed, full of pain. His eyelashes - inhuman, unearthly, pretty boy - are barely visible. Freckles that stand out too much, I’m going to kiss every single one until you understand how beautiful you are, Chris, okay? scattered over his nose and the angled cheekbones. Narrow chin, perfect for gripping and moving his head around, smeared with drying blood. Bleeding from the slash across his forehead, running slowly down to stain his pale eyebrow darker, to run into his left eye, what the fuck did you do to yourself, trainee?

 “Not, not a trainee,” Chris whispers. “Not a, a pet. Not Tristan. Not, not, not. I’m, I’m Chris, I made myself, I’m, I’m, I’m, I’m, I’m... I’m I’m Chris, I’m, I’m Christopher fucking Stanton, I’m-... I’m Chris.”

 Big scratches down his cheeks, his neck, bright red welts that might turn to bruises, that he could open into bleeding, he could make himself so ugly no one ever wants him again. “Not, not, not so pretty anymore,” He whispers, and his throat closes up against the words, but it feels good, it feels important. “Not, not, not pretty, now.”

 Not worth dying over, not worth breaking, not worth noticing, not worth taking, not worth buying, not worth rescuing, not worth being arrested for, not worth saving, not pretty enough to hurt, not pretty enough to love. 

 You fucking freak, I don’t know how Ronnie managed to think you were so great, you can barely brush your own teeth.

 How the hell did she love you? You ruined her life.

 If it weren’t for you...

 The door suddenly jolts open, and Chris doesn’t flinch - he doesn’t look back - only stares at himself, rocking slowly forward and back on his toes and heels until his head bumps the cracks in the glass like the cracks inside of him, his hands twisting at the ends of his wrists to smack rhythmically into his sides, his hips, harder and harder, fighting to find the same soothing rush that motions like this normally bring. 

 It’s too loud, inside of him. It’s too much. He can’t stop the trains roaring up out of the light, bringing everything into the darkness where he only wants to hide.

 “Holy shit, Chris,” Jake whispers, standing behind him, eyes wide with shock. “Wh-... why did you… Oh, Chris, no. Oh, no, oh fuck, Chris, you hurt yourself, you haven’t done that since-”

 Chris turns, ceramic crackling underfoot, sharp little spikes of pain in his feet, and looks up into Jake’s eyes. “Tris, Tristan Higgs was pretty,” He says, weakly. “I don’t want to, to, to be pretty anymore.”

 Oh, darlin’, aren’t you just pretty as a picture.

 Open up, 499.

 He’s such a sweet, handsome boy, Ronnie, you’d never know he had, you know...

 You can just say it, you know. It’s not a dirty word. 

 You’re too pretty for anything else, 499, you were always going to be somebody’s slut.

 You want it-

 I, I don’t want to-

 No one gives a fuck what you want.

I don’t, don’t, don’t want to, please-, pl-please, please stop, please please stop touching me-

What do you say, trainee?

I want this. I want you.

Good boy.

 A shudder ripples through him, a memory of pain, long gone but still written over every inch of his body. Broken, and dirty, and used until he forgot how to be anything else. He feels suddenly exhausted, weighed down, too heavy to move. There’s a weight on his chest and every breath takes an effort, takes determination, and he is losing the battle. 

His lip wobbles, and he feels infinitely young, like all the years didn’t happen, and he’s still just Tristan Higgs in the end, ready to be broken, bent, and twisted. 

He looks at Jake, and his brother blurs with tears. “He was, was, was too pretty for an, anything else, I d-don’t want to, to-to-to be pr-pretty like him anymore-... s-so I made, made, made myself uh-ugly-”

 Jake sweeps him up and Chris lets himself be swept. The cry is bubbling up again and he wails into Jake’s shirt, gripping into the fabric and twisting his hands, tears rolling down his cheeks and stinging into the places he scratched himself. He’s pulling, tapping, rocking his bloodied head into Jake’s shoulder, fighting the trains in his mind that aren’t thoughts but memories, each one fighting to be the first to hurt him by coming back to the surface. 

 They crash into each other, into the wall of cold white light. They break through.

 Inside him the boy in the black collar is screaming, the boy in the collar is crying, the boy is laid back on silk sheets and cries tears he has to keep inside his head while his face is smiling and his voice makes all the right sounds, the boy has his wrists and ankles locked down to keep him still, the boy is curled up between his parents waiting for someone to come and nobody is coming, the boy wears a suit in court that itches and he can’t stop shaking his hands and the judge doesn’t like him and the social worker doesn’t like him and the boy is curled up on a bed in a windowless room missing his friends, the boy hits his head and hits himself and the words are gone and the boy is screaming the boy is screaming the boy is screaming-

 Mom, can Tris sleep over tonight?

 Again, Aki? Well, I guess I don’t see any harm. You’ve got half your closet in Aki’s room by now, anyway. Call you mom and ask her, Tris, okay?

 You fucking freak, I wish you had died with your bastard father instead of her.

 I hate you, I, I hate you so, so, so-so much-

 You should hate your fucking self, Tristan.

 I love you, kiddo. It’s you and me, right?

Right, Mom. You, you, you and, and me.

Til your dad comes home, anyway. Can’t wait ‘til he’s working days and we’re not alone at night, huh?

Your prospective will choose your name.

I, I’m a… number. My name is… 223499, Romantic designation, Facility 001. I am a pet and… and… a toy. I am an active par, participant in fulfilling m-my, my, my owner’s desires-

I paid extra and you did not disappoint.

On your knees, gorgeous boy.

I think we’ll play a game, sweetheart.

Show some respect, 223499.

Come here, darlin’.

Good boy

I love you, Tris

Good pet

It’s, it’s okay, it’s-... okay, I l-love you, it’ll be okay-

Good boy

The boy is screaming for help and nobody is coming to save him-

“I’ve got you,” Jake whispers, holding him tightly, and Chris buries himself into the warmth, the familiar scent, the feeling of Jake’s arms is branded deeper than anything else in the world. I will rescue you, I’ll come back to you, Chris, I promise, I’m here.

I want you I love you I’m here.  

“You made Chris, and you’re still Chris. This is just all the shit they took from you, that’s all. It’s okay, you can cry, Chris, go ahead and cry. It’s okay, it’s hard when it comes back, and Kauri and Ant and Laken and I, we’re all here with you.”

Chris sobs in Jake’s arms, bleeding all over his shirt, but Jake doesn’t care. He holds him anyway. There’s a throbbing pain inside his head, but it’s not stronger than the memories, and the cold white light isn’t holding them back like it used to, anymore.

Her face, her hands, the blood coming out of her, the silent house around them. 

Her face.

Her eyes.

She loved him.

Oh, no, did you fall down? Oh, it’s okay, honey, I’m right here, I’ve got you - it’s hard the first time, but we get back up and try again. Here, let Mommy give it a kiss - there, all better, right?

Therapy is rough sometimes, sweetie, but listen - we can do this, together, Tris. We can do the hard stuff if we do it together. D’you want a hug? Yeah, hugs can help make it better, right? That’s what moms do.

I heard the thunder, baby. Go ahead, climb in, I’ve got you, c’mere, I’ll hold you.

I want you I love you I’m here.

I l-love you, it’s okay, it’s okay, I love you, Tris...

“I, I, I don’t want to, to be Tristan Higgs,” Chris cries against Jake’s neck, shoulders shaking, rocking, rocking, rocking in his arms. Jake’s hands are up in what’s left of his hair, feeling the short, chopped strands, rubbing over the nape of his neck, soothing the twisting hurt and fear inside him. “I don’t, I don’t, he, he, he, it was his fault, for, for, for for for moving when he had to, to be still, and I wasn’t, I didn’t do it right, and they, they d-died because of me… I l-loved, I was, they, they, they shot them and-and left me and, and, and no one came, nobody came to help, no, no, no, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry-”

“I know,” Jake murmurs. “I know. It wasn’t your fault, you were just a kid. It wasn’t your fault, Chris, whatever happened, it-... it wasn’t your fault. It was never your fault. You’re whoever you want to be, Chris, but Tristan is still a part of you, okay? We have to work on making everything integrate, work together, or it’s going to keep hurting. You have to get past the conditioning to forget, or it’s going to… get worse.”

Chris whimpers at the idea that he could feel any worse than this. “I don’t, don’t… don’t want to, to, to to to lose her again,” Chris whispers, shaking his head. “Don’t want to, to lose y-you-”

“Never. You can’t ever lose me, you’re stuck with me. I’m not going anywhere. Let’s clean up this mess, Laken is probably dying to talk to you-”

“No,” Chris whispers, begs without a voice. “No, not, not them, not… not yet.”

The scream is bubbling up again, the boy in the cold white room is rocking, rocking, rocking with his hands tied behind his back, can’t touch can’t hurt can’t feel can’t think someone help me but nobody is coming except the handler with his smile and his pain and his hands-

“Okay. No problem. Cleaning first. I’m going to bandage you up, and I’ll clean up the mess while you sit and maybe drink some water. But… can we… can we do one thing? Will you let me do one thing?”

“Wh, what?”

“Will you let me fix your hair?”

Chris pulls back a little to look up at Jake, and he smiles faintly back down, sympathetic and loving, and it’s not okay, but Jake is here, so it’s… it’s better than it would be if he were alone. “Um… y, yes, you, you you you, you can fix it.” 

“Okay. I love you, little man. You weren’t supposed to see it so soon, we were going to get you ready, and it’s going to hurt coming back, but I promise… I promise it’s good for you to have it. Okay? Do you trust me, when I say that?”

Chris meets the sincere love in those blue eyes. “I, I trust you.”

He does. But he doesn’t believe him.

It’s okay, baby, it’s, it’s okay…

It’s not, and it never was, but… he remembers her face, at least. He remembers her voice.

He remembers her.

I love you, Tris, I’m so proud of you for doing the hard things, and I’m right here with you. I’ve got you, sweetheart. You and me, right? We can do all the hard shit as long as we do it together.

His fingers twitch, and he buries himself against Jake and sees her eyes full of tears and dying and her chest covered in blood and the blood on the wall and she tells him she loves him and then she doesn’t tell him anything anymore and her body is cold and Tristan curls up between them, blood drying on the wall and no one comes until the sun is shining and the blood is dry but Tristan is still crying-

Chris begins, again, to scream, but this time Jake is holding him, this time someone’s here, this time there’s someone who isn’t leaving, this time he can wail with arms around him and this time he’s not alone.

The boy is Christopher Stanton and he is Tristan Higgs and the boy is screaming and his brother came to help him and his brother is holding him tight.

I love you, Tris. I’m so proud of you.

I’m here, Chris. I’m not going anywhere.

I want you 

I love you 

I’ve got you 

I’m here.

---

Tagging: @burtlederp  , @finder-of-rings  , @endless-whump , @whumpfigure, @slaintetowhump, @astrobly  @newandfiguringitout  , @doveotions  , @pretty-face-breaker  , @boxboysandotherwhump  , @oops-its-whump  @moose-teeth  , @cubeswhump  , @cupcakes-and-pain  @whump-tr0pes  @whumpiary  @orchidscript

[moonlightserenadeeznutz]

luna for the headcanons thing pls pls pls

Yes!!! I love giving Luna headcanons, so here ya go bestie!

(Read under cut)

Luna Lovegood headcanons

First of all, definitely a trans girl, no doubt about that. She lived in a very open environment and was able to explore her gender identity at a young age. Her mother sewed her dresses to wear, long, flowing garments that Luna thought were the most beautiful things she’d ever seen. Her father taught her how to make flower crowns and crowns of leaves, and she’d wear them with her dresses.

She didn’t have to come out to her parents. Her femininity at a young age simply led to her simply stating that she was a girl, and that her name was Luna. Her parents were very accepting (and Xenophilius is trans himself because fuck you of course he is, so he was super supportive of Luna).

She named herself after the moon because her parents loved astrology and they taught her all the different planets and their moons, and all the different stars in the sky and how to spot the constellations.

The Lovegoods were definitely pagan, I mean they were all about nature and spirituality. They always marked every single holiday, staying up all night on the solstices, lighting huge bonfires, and making wreaths to wear. Pandora played the lyre, Xenophilius sang songs and Luna would act out stories and poems.

Cornish, and they speak the language as well because being bilingual is sexy.

Speaking of pagan, Pandora’s funeral would have also been pagan, obviously.

She’d have a natural burial, and Luna would recite a poem, and the rest of the family would also give eulogies, recite poetry, or thank the Goddess. Four members- including Xenophilius and Luna- would stand at each point on the compass and “invoke” each element (Air in the East, Fire in the South, Water in the West and Earth in the North) and give thanks to them. There would also be music at the wake, played by members of the family. Drums, tambourines, flutes etc. Luna played her mother’s favourite song on her lyre.

When she reached Hogwarts, I don’t think she was drawn to anyone in particular right away, I think she had better relationships with the teachers more than the students. She got on really well with Professor Sprout, and I think Hagrid really liked her too, because they’d talk about all the different magical creatures together, and Luna would tell him about all the creatures her and her father wrote about in the Quibbler.

Academically, she was very smart, and did well in most of her classes, but she didn’t particularly find a lot of them overtly interesting to her, unless she was able to put her own twist to it, which usually she wasn’t. In Potions, she wasn’t able to brew her own stuff, make up recipes, or use a variation of the recipe. Snape was much too strict with her and as a result, she didn’t do very well, which made her more upset than she would let on since she had been really good at potions at home.

She particularly shone in third year, since she was able to take classes more suited to her, like Astrology and Divination. Astrology was her favourite of course, and she’d talk about it all the time with Ginny.

However, in third year she also became particularly interested in DADA, mainly because she formed a strong friendship with Professor Lupin. Remus had been informed that Luna was trans, and since he is as well, they had things in common, and were able to talk about it with each other, Remus sort of taking Luna under his wing a little. They’d sit in his office and drink tea and Luna would give him copies of the Quibbler, which he’d happily read.

Luna was actually the first to figure out that Remus was a werewolf, but she didn’t tell anyone, not even him. She didn’t think it was her secret to share, nor did she think it changed anything. But she did find it fascinating, and read a lot of books on lycanthropy. After Remus had left, Luna told him that she knew and she asked if she could write some articles about it in the Quibbler, to raise awareness, or if he’d like to write any articles. Remus agreed to let her write something, and she wrote a three page article about werewolf inequality (but careful not to mention Remus by name). She did interview him about it, and he said that he was proud of being a werewolf, that it was actually very cool at times, but that it was simply wizarding society that had forced him to be ashamed. She wrote all this down, and it became the most bought copy of the Quibbler, as lots of students at Hogwarts wanted to read it, and they shared it with their friends and parents. So despite Remus not being able to come back to Hogwarts as a teacher, he did receive tons of letters in support of him from parents and students who had read the article and put two and two together.

Friends with Ginny by third year! Luna actually took a while to warm up to Ginny, thinking she was this loud, athletic, snobbish type, but then Luna got to know her and realised that she wasn’t that at all. Ginny was loud, but in a contagious laughter sort of way, and she could be very quiet and calm when she wanted to. She was athletic, but chatted animatedly about Quidditch teams, and Luna couldn’t help but listen. And she wasn’t snobbish, quite the opposite. She was the only person who listened to Luna, and discussed her ideas rather than swat them away impatiently. Luna made Ginny flower crowns, and Ginny stayed up with her all night during solstices. They became very close.

Ginny was the first student at Hogwarts that Luna told about being trans, and Ginny came out to her as being bisexual. And they were very supportive of each other, as well as being great at keeping each other’s secrets. They trusted each other with their lives, and would always stand up for the other. If Luna was getting picked on, Ginny would go feral and start fights. Although she eventually stopped, since it made Luna more upset. So she stuck to just being there for Luna (and maybe slipping a potion into bullies’ morning pumpkin juice that made them cluck like a chicken. But Luna didn’t need to know about that...)

That being said, Luna could get angry too of course. When she heard an older girl make fun of Ginny behind Ginny’s back, Luna wordlessly went up to her turned the girl’s hair blue with a wave of her wand. Ginny laughed her head off when she found out.

It was through Luna’s bond with Ginny, that she realised that she wasn’t interested in either the romantic or sexual side of relationships. At first she assumed that it was because Ginny was a girl, and she may not be attracted to girls, but it got her thinking about boys too, about everyone. And she just didn’t want that sort of relationship with anyone. She loved her platonic relationship with Ginny, and that’s how she wanted all of her relationships to be like.

I feel like she also had a close bond with Neville, and they gave each other plants as birthday gifts.

Projecting a little bit here, but Luna with Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder, spending hours by herself making up fantasies and constructing worlds in her head, making up new characters, and getting so invested in them that she regularly saw herself as her characters. I feel like this started because of the trauma from losing her mother. She didn’t tell anyone about it, or at least nothing in detail, but she tried to explain it a bit to Ginny, who knew to leave her alone when Luna would sit by herself.

MaD also made Luna a little more detached from her gender identity, especially if she was acting as one of her characters (again I’m projecting here) who were either male or genderless. She still identified as female, but in a much more looser, fluid way, and even experimented with she/they pronouns, which she eventually decided she liked. (If this were set in the modern world, I can also imagine her using neopronouns such as xe/xer or fae/faeself, though in the canon world, she may have also tried out it/its).

Doesn’t know much about the muggle world, but Hermione gave them a copy of Alice In Wonderland which they loved. And if I were to headcanon Luna liking a muggle band/artist they’d probably like anything psychedelic or nature-like, maybe the early stuff of Pink Floyd (yes, Dev, I’m thinking about Atom Heart Mother).

Went travelling after Hogwarts, where she met Rolf Scamander, and they hit it off immediately. Very similar to each other, and soon became close friends. I also headcanon Rolf as aro/ace so their relationship basically became like Luna’s and Ginny’s.

Their house was filled with all sorts of plants and animals. Rooms were lined with trees filled with Bowtruckles, and owls flitted in and out of windows, cats slinking about the place, so many frogs. My god, their house was wonderful.

Adopted Lorcan and Lysander because ffs not everyone has to have a nuclear family jkr 🙄. And parents also don’t have to be romantically or sexually involved with each other either; Luna and Rolf had a good relationship, both wanted to be parents, so they raised the twin boys together. And Lorcan and Lysander had a fantastic childhood, can you imAGINE?!

Godmother of Lily Luna, obviously. And Harry and Ginny’s kids loved going round Luna’s place, so more often than not, the house was filled with not only the entire natural world, but also a bunch of children running about the place.

Oh also, Luna has nymph ancestors. They just do, okay?