#like it’s thanksgiving dude I just got home from work and I need to go take care of my friend’s dog

[sharkieboi]

friend drove me home from work so that I could finally take my heavyass crockpot home, building-mate is talking and smoking outside with a dude I don’t know, roll out of the car and walk up and making small talk with him, other dude interrupts us and says “Were you born as a woman? Did you used to be a woman?”

😐

and then doubled down when I try to avoid the question. I said “that’s really rude I don’t want to talk about that” and he goes “Oh so I was right! See I’m right!!!”

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for saying my family shows favoritism towards my baby cousin?

(This is copied from my Reddit drafts because my partner told me tumblr would be better for this and I trust them)

Okay this is a long one so I’m just gonna throw out fake names for everyone and everyone is white middle class Americans

I, Op, 20M, I’m a trans man not accepted by my family. This is relevant

Renee, 20F, my twin sister

Bea, 16F, my younger sister

Lee, 35F, my aunt on my father’s side

Lucas, 2M, my cousin, son of Lee

Suzie, 5F, my cousin, daughter of Lee

My father, 44M, the patriarch of our whole family

My mother, 45F

Grandpa, 76M, paternal grandpa, previous patriarch

Grandma, 74F, paternal grandma

So I’m sending this in on Christmas Day of 2023. For some context, I still live at home, but it’s more of a roommate situation now that I’m an adult. Renee lives on her out-of-state college campus but visits for holidays, and Bea is still a high schooler. Lee, her children, and her husband who isn’t relevant to this (I love my uncle, we just literally never talk) live across the country. My father is losing the battle with cancer and can’t travel, so we had two separate christmases this year, one with my immediate family and one with Lee. Grandma and Grandpa went to Lee’s, which was awesome for me because that meant I got to avoid them this year!

As the character list above states, I’m (one of) the oldest of the five grandkids with my cousins being born a lot later than me and my sisters. My family is a traditional WASP family and staunchly conservative with Aunt Lee actively being a cop right now while my parents and Grandpa served in the military. Growing up undeniably queer was hilarious, I know. But the family dynamic wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been, my family did a good job of trying to hide the fact that Renee was the favorite child lol, but that was more on the basis of her having the same traditional values that they do until Aunt Lee had Suzie, then she obviously became the favorite. Fine by me, she’s an adorable girl and I love spoiling her. Also, ACAB does apply for Aunt Lee for being complacent in this system, it’s not just the most relevant part of the story besides explaining how she fits into the family dynamic

But then Lee had Lucas a few years later and the focus in the family shifted to him. At first, it was baby fever making everyone dote over him (and I’m guilty of this too) but after a while, I realized that the fever hasn’t died down. If we had family reunions, everyone would flock to Lucas and I would be the one watching Suzie. For a toddler, she’s a great conversationalist, but it was still sad to see all her aunts and uncles and cousins showering her baby brother with attention and not her. And then the comments started. That my father would only refer to Lucas as “my nephew” even when talking directly to Lee (unhinged to witness in person). That Grandpa was so happy to finally have a grandson (felt great). The lady-killer comments and guessing what profession he’s gonna go into based on how chubby of a baby he is (the money’s on Linebacker, little dude is built like a truck). Stuff like that

None of these comments were ever made about Suzie when she was born, and I really don’t want to admit that it’s because Lucas is a boy, but thats the only answer I can think of when trying to understand the favoritism. Lucas is showered in gifts and love and while I know newborns need that, Suzie received nowhere near this much attention. Lee’s husband doesn’t go to family functions because he works full time, but I heard Suzie mumble at Thanksgiving last month that she wanted to go home to daddy. It broke my fucking heart, so I called him and she got to FaceTime with my uncle until my phone died

At this point, I’m not even upset that the family ignores my obvious trans-ness as I’m over a year on T (paid for by myself too) in favor of my boy cousin. I’m upset that Suzie is getting left out of the fawning while she’s still super young and she could grow up resenting Lucas because of it.

Anyways, so this morning we opened gifts as an immediate family and I got to FaceTime my significant other as they unboxed their gift from me and we were having a good time until my dad FaceTimes Grandpa. Grandpa answers and Dad immediately asks how his nephew is. Lucas is pushed in front of the phone and all I can hear is asking about how Lucas is, is Lucas talking yet, is Lucas reading yet. I manage to squeeze my head in and ask about Suzie and Lee’s voice off camera says that “oh she’s fine, just snobbish.” Snobbish? A five year old?

And here’s where I’m probably the Asshole. Honestly, I’m looking between ESH and JAH here, but would perfectly understandable if tumblr decides YTA. My response to Lee’s comment was: “well maybe she wouldn’t be if everyone didn’t pick Lucas as the family favorite.”

My dad smacked me upside the head, Renee and Bea got really pissed off, and the FaceTime went quiet until it was cut off and Grandpa called back to talk to Dad privately. Bea called me an asshole and while my Mom got onto her for her language, Mom agreed that I was.

My dad came back from the phone and did the silent point towards his bedroom, y’all with shitty parents know the one. Because I’m twenty fucking years old and pay RENT here, I shook my head, grabbed my keys, and went to go hang out with my significant partner and work friends. We had a great time and I’m currently in the car with my significant other while typing this. I’m gonna spend the night at their place and go back in the morning to see how bad the damage is. My significant other says I was justified in what I said, but two of my work friends (one who’s a Cishet guy who grew up in a similar household and another who’s a new dad with his own son) say that what I said was uncalled for and rude. They explained that I had no right to weaponize Lucas and Suzie like that and I understand that. I’m just tired of Suzie being neglected and, selfishly I know, I’m tired of how my identity is ignored as well

So, tumblr, AITA?

TL;DR, My two year old cousin is the “only” grandson in the family. The family ignores my male identity and my baby cousin’s five year old sister to fawn over the two year old. Am I The Asshole for pointing this out point blank in front of the whole family on Christmas morning?

What are these acronyms?

[s-4pphics]

its christmas morning! (e.w)

omg y’all it’s fucking 4/20 aka my thanksgiving christmas and valentine’s day😳 

wanted to write for my fav pothead for my fav holiday :O ellie ripping bongs has been imprinted on my brain since that scene in the game yall know which one i’m talking about i don't even gotta say it🙄 i am very high rn so if there’s a typo or mistake no!! there’s!! not!! love y’all bye 

wc;cw: 2.7k, oc n ellie r both in college, WEED!!! WEED WEED WEED!!!, 21 savage :p catch it, sexual tension y’all know how i get down, descriptions of sex MDNIIII, dubcon(they’re very high), ellie’s so cute but also a lil mean, hair pulling ;D

“c’moooon dude, just one hit!” ellie said with a wide grin while softly nudging your shoulder with hers, her packed and filled miniature glass bong and lighter sitting on the coffee table in front of the two of you. 

ellie had sent you a text message after you got out of your last class saying it was her favorite fucking holiday so get ur ass over here! you knew she would hate it if you—her main smoking buddy—missed out on the new bud she got from someone on campus, so you packed an overnight bag with four of your own blunts that you rolled for her(you learned that tropical breeze was her favorite flavored wrap during one of your seshes!), and made your way over to her off-campus apartment complex. you knew there was no way you were going to be able to walk home tonight since you planned to get as fried as humanly possible. 

you’d arrived inside her building and scaled the stairs to the third floor before you banged on her door. fuck, you were winded! what’s up with the elevators not working—

a muffled what’s the password?! had come from the other side of the door as you gasped for air. 

“stop playing games, i’m tired!” 

you’d heard her laugh as the door swung open, revealing an already high, smiling ellie: you were immediately hit with the smell of the weed she’d apparently already smoked. she looked so cozy, her black hoodie and gray sweatpants littered her body, her hair in a loose ponytail. you looked down at her giant frog slippers before she broke the silence between you two. 

“it’s christmas morning! welcome to my trap house!” she’d excitedly squealed out, gesturing for you to come in. 

she guided you to her and her roommate’s living room couch as she lit one of the blunts you rolled (and then another one) for you both to share. you felt relaxed after smoking them down, but you told her you needed more, and she was more than willing to give you that. she’d ran to her bedroom and grabbed her trusted friend, as she called the smoking utensil. 

“i’ve never used one of those before.” 

“…are you fuckin’ serious?” ellie asked with wide, red tinted eyes. 

“um, yeah. why would i lie?” you asked blankly.

“that’s not what i meant, you smoke pretty often so i assumed. my bad.” she put her hands up in defense at your tone. 

“you don’t need to apologize,” you said before pausing to look at the bong. it was pretty: it was clear, but there were hints of blue further down the base. it reminds you of the ocean. you stared at it before breaking the silence. 

“what does it feel like?” 

“what? hitting it?” she asked as she nodded towards the bong on the table. 

you nodded at her, and she shrugged before sarcastically answering. 

“it feels like you're smoking,” she said with dramatic jazz hands. 

you pushed her as she laughed, “obviously, bitch! i mean when you're high. people always talk about it hitting way harder than any other pipe.” 

“because it does! you choke hard as fuck if the rip is big but it feels good afterwards. you smoke, you know what i’m talking about. it’s… the peak is just more… intense with bongs? i guess, i don’t know. i can only take like…three or four good hits, not gonna lie.”

you nodded as you listened to her rambles. ellie’s tolerance was definitely higher than yours, but you could hang—which was one of the main reasons she liked to smoke with you. you always felt nervous to hit from a bong because of all of your friends' horror stories. you heard so many variations of how hard they greened out the first couple of times they did it, and though you’d never admit it to anyone, their experiences freaked you out. you always smoked weed to relax and sleep, not see god. 

“…hm.” 

“what?” ellie smirked at you when she heard your acknowledgement. 

you were looking at the bong intensely as you imagined what your high would be like if you were to smoke out of one: you’d be so embarrassed if ellie was forced to talk you down from a bad trip because you didn’t know your limits. but the mention of its intensity intrigued you. how intense would it be? would you be able to move? think? 

“you wanna hit it and see what happens?” 

her quiet voice caught your attention. you looked to your right and… oh. she was really close to you. when did she get so close? 

“…yeah.” 

you were now sitting criss crossed on the couch as ellie faced you, packed, water-filled bong and lighter in hand. 

“hitting is pretty easy, but your throat burns like crazy. this is my smallest one, but… yeah, it might choke you.” 

“‘s fine.” 

she hummed in acknowledgment before she said, “i’ll go first just so you can see.” 

you nodded as you watched her put her lips at the opening of the tube. she lit her lighter and circled her flame around the bud-stocked bowl, igniting the flower as smoke slowly began to fill the base of the bong. 

when she was satisfied with the rip, she detached the bowl from the stem and sucked in the smoke, exhaling a large cloud away from your face. she cleared her throat as she passed it to you, “see? easy.” 

you took the bong and lighter from her hands and inspected it. you heard her snort from in front of you, meeting her eyes as you looked up. “it’s not gonna bite you, dude.” 

“i fucking know that,” you said with a soft glare, making her laugh harder. 

she reached over towards the coffee table and grabbed the small baggie of your rolled blunts. she took one out and grabbed another lighter out of her hoodie pocket, lighting the end and puffed on it to ignite the weed. she hadn’t noticed that you’d been watching her the whole time with an intense gaze. 

she finally looked up at you and nodded at your occupied hands. “you gonna hit it?” 

fuck. yeah, you were. you were. you nodded hard. she mumbled out a soft you don’t have to, but you shook your head at her, yes, you do! 

you brought the opening towards your lips and looked at her for approval, earning a small nod as she exhaled her own smoke and smiling, “carry on, young pupil.” 

you lightly kicked your knee against hers, earning a soft laugh. you took a deep breath before igniting the bowl and watched smoke fill the base. you weren’t sure how long you should wait before you took a rip, so you met her eyes again, awaiting instruction. 

“you don’t need to smoke all of that. ‘s a lot.” she advised, slurring slightly, smoke pooling out of her nose as she spoke. you didn’t listen, though. 

you removed the bowl as she did, and sucked in all of it. you breathed out and instantly started coughing up both of your lungs as she laughed, grabbing you a water from the table, opening it, and passing it to you. you dropped the lighter and exchanged the large pipe for the water in her hand. “fuckin’ idiot, i told you not to.” 

you choked harder as tears flooded your eyes, but even in your time of weakness, you flipped her off. she giggled before pretending to bite it off. 

as your coughing eased, you slowly sipped from your bottle and wiped the tears off your cheeks. “bro, what the fuck.” you said dryly, sipping more water. 

she laughed hard at you as she lit and ripped from the bong again. 

some time passed and you were starting to feel… something different as you came up. you knew you were going to peak soon, but the lift was coming in much harder. much faster. it was making you a bit antsy. 

ellie must’ve noticed your unfocused looks around her living room because she aligned her eyes with yours and whispered out a hey. 

“hi… i think i feel… feel it,” you whispered back, a slight shakiness to your voice. 

“okay. want me to turn some music on?” and you nodded before she could even finish her gentle proposal. you watched her every move as she got up and swiftly made her way over to the kitchen, turning on her speaker. “what you wanna listen to?” 

“g-glock in my lap.” 

“everywhere i’m strapped,” she said as she mimed jerking off with her tongue out. she's so gross… why was it getting you hot? 

she busted out laughing at her own joke before she played it, queueing her own list of songs before returning back to the couch to get in her previous position. 

“what’s your craziest weed story?” you asked the minute she sat down, cutting mumbling of the lyrics off. 

“craziest weed story?” she asked softly as she reignited her stubbed out blunt. 

“bong story. craziest bong story,” you corrected yourself slurrily. oh, this shit was hitting. 

she huffed out a laugh before talking. “…i don’t know if you wanna hear that right now.” 

“why? was it that bad?” 

“it was the exact opposite actually.” she corrected softly. had she leaned a bit closer to you? you couldn’t tell. 

“one of the best highs of my life, to be honest. wish i could go back to that day and just to feel it again.” 

“what happened?” 

she was silent for a moment, looking into your eyes with an intense gaze. 

“i… i met this girl on hinge— don’t fucking laugh!” she said as she smiled. 

it made you laugh harder. “i’m not—i’m not trying to, i promise!” 

she rolled her eyes as she continued. “anyway, we linked up after talking for a bit, and she told me she wanted to match. i drove hours to see her, she was so fuckin’ hot.” 

you hummed as she continued, giggles completely forgotten as your vision tunneled in on her. “so, we meet and we go up to her room. i think… her roommate had company over or something, it was really noisy when i walked in. anyway, we spark up, we’re smoking, and she’s just like hit my bong with me!, and i said sure.” 

you’d been watching her lips move the entire time she was talking. she’d been biting and licking them as she reminisced while hitting the blunt, and it was making your body hot. 

“she hit it first and passed it to me, and i’m like… what the fuck do i do with this contraption? like, you have to understand that it wasn’t a bong like mine. it was wide and long as fuck and the rips were huge. anyway, she showed me but… she was so close to me. like this.”

she leaned closer to you, your noses almost touching. your breathing picked up. “she was just talking me through the first hit, light this, pull that, y’know.” 

to be frank, you didn’t give a shit about this story at all, but you would listen to it over and over again if it meant she’d be this close to your face—

“and sex while high feels so fucking good—“

“huh?” 

“what?” 

“who had sex while high?” 

“… me‘n my hinge date.” 

she squinted her eyes at you before she grinned. “were you listening?” 

“yup.” 

“right.” she said as she cheesed. 

there was silence as you both looked at each other, but she inched a little closer to you and whispered. “wanna know a secret?” 

you nodded instantly. anything anything—

“she made me cum really hard after i hit her bong, like i went completely brain dead.” 

and you sucked in a sharp breath at her little secret before saying, “i’m sure…” 

“you’re sure?” 

“yeah.” 

she nodded at you, passing you the blunt she'd been nursing before she scooted back to reach for her bong and lighter off the table. she hit it again and you watched. you watched her so closely. 

“what’d she do?” you asked as you took a bold hit before stubbing it out on the ashtray on the table.

“who? m’date?” she asked as she blew another cloud away from you. 

you nodded much harder than you should’ve, but you were so curious. 

she smiled at you before elaborating, “so… i hit it, i’m choking hard as fuck, but she’s handing me water and rubbing my back and all of that shit.” 

“i finally calmed down, and we both laid down on her bed, we’re like… facing each other,” she explained, trying to demonstrate their movements through her occupied hands. 

remember when you said you didn’t give a shit about this story? you did. you really did. 

“she just starts… rubbing on my arm and stuff. like barely, but i feel it, and i start relaxing. like… it feels like i’m sinking into her bed. she starts telling me how cute i am and whatever and then… she just kisses me. it’s real cute at first,” she said with a gentle grin. 

“but she… she grabs my hips and pulls me closer… i can’t even remember what happened but i end up on my back and she’s eating me out and fingering me,” she’d been looking off into the distance throughout the whole story, but reconnects her eyes with yours, and they slowly drift down to your lips and you want to kiss her so fucking bad—

“when i came, i kinda just… blacked out, i felt like my brain was gonna come out my ears…like, in a puddle or somethin’ crazy,” she had the audacity to giggle at her statement. she didn’t even care about how wet her story just made you, how rude! 

“…but yeah,” she mumbled and nodded, suddenly averting her gaze from your mouth. she leaned towards the bong in her hand, lighting and ripping from it again.

instead of politely blowing the smoke away from your face like she’d been doing, she held eye contact and blew the cloud towards you, and you breathed it in like you wished to breathe her in. she reached to the side to place the pipe and lighter back on her table and looked down at your twitching hands before she asked, “you okay?” 

you nodded slowly and dazed, slowly blinking at her, and she smirked as she leaned closer to you again. this was the closest she’s been to your face, and all you could do was study her. memorize every detail on her face. she's so, so pretty. 

“ellie.” 

“yeah?” she breathed out and you barely heard it. 

“kiss me.” you replied just as quietly. 

she licked her lips again as she looked down at yours. you were nearly panting like a dog and you could tell she was getting off to your desperation by the smirk on her face. 

you leaned closer to her in attempts to close the distance, but ellie moved away before you could. 

so you tried again. 

and she moved away again. and then she leaned back onto her propped elbows, one of her knees bent up. 

“c’mere.” 

you moved before you could think, shifting onto your wobbly knees to crawl on top of her, your hands on either side of her head as she straightened her legs out so you could straddle her waist.

you felt her warm hands grab your hips to squeeze them. you placed your weight on both your elbows and leaned down so you could finally kiss her. you want a kiss! you want a kiss now! 

your head was yanked back before you could connect your lips to hers, and you let out a shocked, wet gasp as you grinded down on her impulsively. you want more more more—

she snorted at your reaction before bringing her mouth up to your ear to whisper, “i want another hit.” 

her hand loosened in your hair as you watched her laugh at you with her head thrown back, a shocked expression on your face. no way she just played you like that!

“fuck you,” you said with an embarrassed pout as you sat up and moved off her lap, sitting the farthest away from her as you could. 

“i know you want to, hand me that lighter,” she said, nodding her head towards the table while giggling. 

you grabbed and threw it at her chest, making her laugh louder. 

hahaaaa i gotchu yall thought they were gonna fuck? SIKE but omg yall make sure to get high byeee

[stoptakingthegoodname5]

/ psss guys I got a rare pair idea cuz yeah,

(⚠️ Disclaimer Ik many aren’t cool with rpf so let me say this, take that thumb and scroll right past if you’re not cool with this. Cause if you have fingers to tap screenshot and post it on Pinterest and or on twitter hating you got thumbs and fingers to scroll ⚠️ plus this is all fake DUHHHHH don’t act smart and all high and mighty Kay? Kay 🙂‍↕️🩷)

/ ANYWAYYYY y’all so let me hold your hand as I say this rare pair, I believe one of the rarest of pairs idk I might be wrong but whatever. Let me talk about Zhou/Logan LET ME EXPLAIN‼️

/ Basically I feel like Zhou would be the designer fashion famous boyfriend who always has a full closet and wants more clothes to have new outfits to keep up with the trends and industry always breaking through with his styles. (As provided below)

/ But he HATES going outside camping, fishing, even the woods, or any kind of outdoor activity that involves being out of the house for long periods of time with no cell service or outlets. As for one Zhou is also a massive gamer too always online playing in his small office at home. Like let the man play 🙄

/ Meanwhile Logan is the polar opposite/not entirely, as he CAN do fashion styles and put in the work in his outfits from time to time for Zhou but Logan mostly wears a tank and some shorts basically Floridian core 💀 (like mf wears THIS religiously)

/ And Logan loves being outdoors like camping, hiking, especially fishing. He goes every weekend to the bass pro shops 2 miles away from their home to the beach that’s 3 miles out just to fish. Dudes THAT committed to his fishing and Zhou is like “what the fuck bro” (and yes they say bro/mate affectionately cuz I said so)

/Like Logan goes fishing every damn weekend always on the boat on a dry day, cracking a fresh beer and waiting for the fish to come. Dude spends thousands on Bass Pro Shops I tell you, going every Friday evening buying fishing line, hooks, live bait, and new rods if he needs any. Meanwhile Zhou is like “bro, this is receipt is 2000$ maybe you should tone the spending down” as he says like he doesn’t have spending addiction too on in game purchases and clothing.

/ Fianlly they got two homes, one in Miami Florida, that’s their main place most of the year spending it there, and their smaller apartment down in Beijing China, letting Logan explore the culture and area where Zhou grew up with spending it on thanksgiving and leaving independently to their separate families for Christmas

(Alright that’s enough ranting on this dynamic in my head. Moot mention as were the pioneers on this Zhogan propaganda @midnight-grandprix)

[bomberqueen17]

ok ok ok ok. ok ok. ok

yeah so i think i mentioned this? we'd contracted with the same company that replaced all the windows in our house to also completely remodel our kitchen. and we were on the schedule for february. and obviously what happened was someone was like "wait i can't have my kitchen torn out from Thanksgiving through Christmas through New Year's that's insane", and the company was like "ok cool we'll postpone," and then called everyone on the list asking if they wanted to move their project up, and got all the way to us before some sucker (us) was like "tear out a quarter of my house during the holidays? oh sure sign me up."

anyway. I hadn't realized but they're tearing out to the studs, and adding insulation and replacing the plaster with drywall. i mean this is all the way. Which is good because when they installed the bay window in the front wall they left a crack that the wind literally blows in from outside, in among the layers of plaster and lath and such, and i have a napkin shoved in there and had sort of been wondering if they were gonna fix it and if so how well. That well, the whole wall is going. So, good.

Anyway. So. I've been back from the farm for six days now and I've spent all of those cleaning the house-- clearing space in the living room, which fortunately hadn't really been put back together after the windows thing-- all the living room chairs are still in the basement-- and now the sideboard is in the living room, with all the dishes in it and all the food on it. We had our microwave and toaster on a stainless steel countertop unit from IKEA and now that is disassembled in the basement and the microwave and toaster are on a bookshelf in the living room. And our coffee has always been on a wooden cart shoved against the entryway wall, and now that's moved to a corner of the living room as well, to Chita's great delight (she can get on there. there's nothing to do on there but she can Sit There which is great.)

So anyway. Today I have to take everything out of the cupboards in the kitchen, that's what's left to do. Pots and pans, all our glasses and mugs, our dry goods and baking supplies, and then last but not least our tupperware and shit. It's not that much. it's okay. It's going to take me a bunch of hours. I can do it. It's not that much heavy lifting. Dude is at work with a full slate of meetings, so he'll be away the whole day. I have yet another sinkload of dishes to do, too.

AND a DIFFERENT company is also coming today, to replace our garage door, but that should be straightforward. They had said they'd do this two weeks ago and then just never got back to us, and yesterday we were going to call them and tell them that they were going to have to negotiate for driveway space with the kitchen remodelers, but they called us instead and said they'd be by today. the last possible day they can come. which is good because until they come, we cannot get our snowblower out of the garage, since the existing door is broken. which i did not know about until i was home the time just before turkey processing, during which time i had set up the estimate and contracted for the job and then they just didn't call us back and we hadn't thought it was urgent until the kitchen thing suddenly got wildly moved up. (I had MENTIONED the impending kitchen remodel to the estimator too, but only in a conversational "well it's not until february" kind of way, but i HAD mentioned it.)

So anyway. I need clothes on and I was just finishing my coffee and Chita has just climbed up into my lap and informed me we're going to sit here for several hours. Sorry booboo, i'd love that for us but nope.

[zubeedubi]

elle woods and emmet forrest. thats it. send post. nevermind i need to talk about them because OH MY

they help each other’s development; supporting and offering genuine advice and a shoulder (one with a big chip in it) to lean on. like emmet didn’t and doesn’t judge her based solely on her appearance (when she was in costume, the ‘bend and snap’)(“cause you saw beyond all the blonde to my mind”) and was a constant source of reliability for elle (in callahan’s (FUCK HIM) class when she got kicked out, after the ‘costume’ party, during thanksgiving and christmas break, in the trial, basically throughout the whole musical and more). and elle listened to him (his advice, his story, his compliments) and in turn let him relax (red bull and department stores for life) and stay true to himself (during the trial; of valuing your client’s trust). they share in their successes (he shares the toast made to him because, yeah, she’s the one who found out the dude’s gay); a duet, not a solo. never stealing the spotlight from the other (“why are you always right?” “you’re a genius!” “why do you always have to be right?”) , instead pushing to be the best versions of themselves together.

they built a friendship (“you trust me, don’t you?” “of course”) before anything (“you are the best thing here”), removing rose-colored glasses or fantasized versions of each other. throughout the musical, you’ll notice as they grow closer together— through time, touches, jokes (“you butthead”), and song— and it’s natural, not rushed. they have a handshake (CUTE). unlike elle towards warner, she doesn’t try to impress or prove anything when she’s around emmet; she’s just herself and more. like emmet is aware of elle’s plan to get warner back, and he doesn’t sugarcoat or feed into it, instead inspiring her to follow through in her studies as she gains a passion for law (tap tap tap on her shoulder “woah! is that my name up on that list?”). and elle knows of his aspirations and drive to make it in life, and she believes in him (“the outside is new. but now it reflects whats already inside you”)!

they don’t pressure each other (even when she’s leaving). when the other’s close to the edge, it’s comfort offered and belonging reassured. in fact they constantly back the other up with positive words (if i had a shot for each time they complimented or smiled wide at each other i’d be dead on the floor) and a hand to support (emmet HELD HER HAND it was very dark but i SAW IT did nobody else see it. DID U SEE IT PLS TELL ME U DID).

the entire song of ‘Legally Blonde’ (which i have on REPEAT). elle has lost faith (in herself; in all she’s achieved so far) but emmet hasn’t (“that’s ludricous”), in fact his faith in her has strengthened as well as his feelings (im BLUSHING). he doesn’t question elle for a second, instantly on her side and there for her. he doesn’t tell her he loves her— she just went through a traumatic experience; kissed by a man she thought her mentor— wishing instead he showed it more, and showing it still as he asks—begs— her to stay. and elle; she’s losing hope on her dream, one that used to be solely for love but grew into a determination to fight. talking about going back home, living life as the blonde people see her as. (“some girls fight hard. some face the trial. some girls were just meant to smile.” but she has. she has done all!!) (“i need you to stay”)

and when she comes back (!!!) he immediately lets go of callahan ((FUCK callahan) what he’s worked three years for) and supports her. (“did you actually think i was gonna let you get away?” SIR??). as she fights for the case, he’s there ready to reassure elle because she can do this.

warner’s proposal (can this guy not not propose); she’s focused on her career now (‘serious’), she found a love for it! and even though the reason she entered harvard because of her love for warner, she made it through with the love surrounding (her friends; the greek chorus, paulette, her family) and growing around her (emmet forrest. the law students that stood by her). and i love that they handled and talked it out maturely, there’s no hate or anything untoward. and (“so many dreams to earn”) she’s reaching for dreams now, continuing her story outside of him, outside of being ‘blonde’. and she’s not gonna give up; she’ll earn it, striving hard towards her new goal.

and, of course, the end. elle is our valedictorian (congrats I LOVE U ELLE WOODS) and we see how the people in her life grew as well, not just her! they all empowered each other!! AND THE. AND THE PROPOSAL (ms woods comma elle my poor heart can only take so much please) (third time IS the charm). she takes initiative, she’s the one asking on one knee. and she’s in her graduation robe; not an engagement outfit or anything. it shows her; her life, her self, what she values!! (and they are SO CUTE. oh my god ohmigod you guys).

(unrelated: i love that they all have pink on them at the end!)

(unrelated unrelated: i adore the actors all of them. every facial expression, vocal delivery, movement or dance (the footwork on “little miss woods comma elle” OKAY), literally Everything i adore this cast. i love elle and emmet’s noses By the way)

anyway, rant over. elle woods and emmet forrest. send post!

[littlebetesofeverything]

Welcome to Night Vale Ep 27

Well, that was a weekend. But I'm revved up for the home stretch before Thanksgiving break. So let's hope I can do it before I go insane.

Hello is a good place to start, you're right Cecil.

Awww, Carlos did start returning affection. "I'm not calling for personal reasons" is a great opener ngl.

This entire episode is not gonna be good for my heart, is it?

OHHHH First date!!! spill the tea, Cecil!!

aren't those crates from the episode about me? yep, they tick so that's definitely from that episode. Thoughts aren't crimes though.

See, other people use the word "ruminate". Take that my D&D group.

cecil, thank you for leaving us on a plot hook for another episode. I can't wait to find out what is inside those crates.

I'm sorry an entire for only one person, who is a millionare? And he is not gonna actually READ?? alright, get the pitchforks and torches, folks.

Why does a library need a helicopter? and who would maul a librarian? ohhhh, the librarian is doing the mauling, never mind.

Yes, date talk time! I want to know what a weekend lab coat looks like.

Italian is always a good first date spot. lol the applebee's actually has bees in Night Vale, ofc.

Awww Cecil, you are down so bad. But I would like to know how a portabella mushroom is bleeding??

Ah yes, the mini war still continues I guess. Good thing I already stomp everywhere. How do you walk around with your eyes closed all day?

Good, the Apache Tracker will be remembered in the best way possible for him.

What holiday is on Tuesday? how do you not know Cecil?

Yes, the news is boring stuff, I am only here for the tea after all.

Uhhh, I think you got scammed on the carrot cake, my dudes.

Night Vale certainly has recreational events. Love how Carlos is starting to fit in lol. He certainly is a skeptic when it comes to anything that lives in Night Vale.

Buddy, I also can't figure out if he felt you touch his cheek.

"when life seems dangerous and unmanageable it is. And you can't survive it forever." Damn another good quote.

Yes folks, photo and video editing affects how we appear and warps beauty. "full lips aren't as beautiful as a full laugh." two quotes back to back.

actually, I don't want to pull back my skin. I just had a whole year of anatomy and dissection, I do NOT want a repeat.

Yeah, this weather is pretty good. Not what I would choose, but I do like it.

Carlos works next to Rico's? Oof poor guy. that might explain a few things.

Ah yes, the awkward moment where -- I'm sorry you do what in Night Vale?

I love how Cecil just gets so tongue-tied and Carlos is trying to save the town with science.

Babe, Carlos, self-reliance only gets you so far.

WHATTTTT AHHHH THEY KISSSEDDDDD *o* YEAHHHHH

Awww, I do want to find love. Just maybe without that much violence.

AHHHHHH. The boys kissed!!!!! I love this episode so much. It just felt like such a diary entry and it was so sweet. Let this help me fall asleep to good dreams tonight. Now excuse me while I run around my home cheering for Carlos and Cecil.

[catgirlforeskin]

The new CoD campaign might be the most racist game I’ve ever seen. While Modern Warfare (2019) often felt like a barrage of cynical attempts at generating controversy through shock value moments to the point where the entire experience was numb, Modern Warfare 2 (2022) feels like it was spawned directly from the collective unconscious of every uncle you avoid at thanksgiving because he watches 7 hours of Fox News a day and can’t shut up about it, and it genuinely worries me the effect it’s gonna have

Some highlights include

The game opening with you doing a missile strike on an Iranian general who’s an obvious stand-in for Soleimani. The game portrays this unlawful assassination as an unambiguous good, and the only characters who talk about it as an international crime for which the US military needs to be held accountable are “terrorists” we’re supposed to dismiss

The main plot following this is that, in revenge for that assassination, some other Iranian general is going to get smuggled over the Mexico-US border by some cartel with a missile of his own to strike at the suburbs or whatever.

To give the game the tiniest amount of credit, a character does say that this idea is stupid and that terrorists don’t cross over the Mexico-US border, but that’s why the antagonist is doing it, because it’s unexpected or whatever. The whole thing is really fucking stupid

In one mission you play as two Mexican special forces dudes who try to stop the guy from crossing into the US. The mission opens with border patrol harassing migrants that the antagonist used as a “decoy” so he could cross somewhere else.

You then chase him into the US and go through a town harassing civilians in their homes and asking them where the guy went. You’re prompted to “right click to de-escalate!” which makes you point your gun and threaten them. Most of these people are Mexican immigrants.

Towards the end of the mission you get stopped by American local cops who are threatening you and being racist, but then they get blown up by a rocket launcher right after and it never gets addressed again.

Later you get sent into Mexico with an American private military contractor because they have “less red tape” with unlawful killings, this is shown to be a good thing though.

The game treats Mexico as a Mad Max wasteland where cartels control everything. It handwrings about how awful it is that the military and police are corrupt there and that the cartels target children with their propaganda and let them have guns, and the game of course has zero sense of self-awareness about this.

The two “good guy” Mexican special forces you work with are part of a squad called “The Vaqueros” which feels on par with Overwatch having every Japanese character be a ninja.

You kill hundreds of soldiers in the Mexican Army, just like the normal one, but the game says it’s ok because they were probably all secretly part of the cartels. You then use the pmc gunship to kill hundreds more while destroying towns and farms in the process. It’s never remarked on besides “wow cool explosions, team!”

You finally capture the other Iranian general but have to let him go because of international laws, which are shown to be bad and just slow the good guys down

The quotes that play when you die aren’t anti-war now, they’re either explicitly nationalist crap, are quotes FROM CALL OF DUTY, or are generally inspirational quotes.

And I’m only HALFWAY through the game, and I didn’t even mention everything!

The game isn’t co-op but I’ve been playing through it with my wife in call (she’s generally the one more into CoD), and the one positive thing she had to say is that the Spanish is generally good and sounds like they actually got people who regularly speak Spanish to write and voice act, like they use slang that her dad and her family in Mexico uses and whatnot.

[bistevethor]

Steve Rogers Fanfiction Recommendations

Happy birthday, Steve!

I know that there are some (a lot?) of steve fans who sometimes struggle to find fics focused on him, so I am here now putting a list of Steve fics. I was going to fics that I haven't seen recommended a lot and most of the ones on this post have less than 200 kudos only, but I end up putting everything (it's probably easier to put my bookmarks as public but well...). It's a massive list (over 100 fics?), so it's will be separated into several posts/reblogs.

Not all of them are from Steve's POV or even have him as the main 'main' character, but rest assured he played an important role and is featured heavily. Lots of these are friendship-focused but I categorized them. The shippy ones are mostly samsteve, thundershield, and some rare pairings because I don't venture to other ships a lot and when I did it's to the rare ones instead lol. Hopefully, any of you can find some gems from this list and these are as enjoyable or as good as I remembered. I'll continue to update it, hopefully, every time I find new ones.

Fics are under read more.

General

The Rocket's Red Glare

Steve was born on the Fourth of July (no joke), so a party is in order! Unfortunately, PTSD decides to rear its ugly head. Fortunately, Steve's got an entire team at his back to help him through it. And screaming goats.

an entry in the scrapbook of absurdity

In which Steve turns into a baby and bites people.

Baby Steve Adventures

Captain America gets hit by a spell during a battle. The rest of the Avengers look after him.

Do You Remember Being Happy? ('Cause I Sure Don't)

"Dragr," Thor called them. "Demons" Clint had said. "Thieves" is what Steve labels them as. AKA, the one where Steve is captured by creatures that feed off of happy memories, and the team is left to pick up the pieces. Post-Avengers.

In Search of (Bucky, Family, Home)

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov & Sam Wilson

A week following the events of CATWS, Steve recruits Natasha and Sam to help find Bucky.

Sam raised an eyebrow. “Do we need to recap again? You were shot three times, beaten near to death by an enhanced super soldier with a metal arm and then almost drowned. Yeah, your ass is going to need a few more days of healing time.”

The Truth When Captains Meet

Steve Rogers wakes up on an alien’s space ship being carried bridal style by Carol Danvers. As far as first meetings go, it’s memorable.

Irish Coffee

Pairings: Jessica Jones & Steve Rogers

Jessica runs into an incognito Cap at a cafe. They form an unlikely friendship of sorts.

The Lifetimes of Steve Rogers (Series)

What happens when Steve Rogers steps onto the quantum platform to return the Stones? Where does he go? What challenges does he find? Who does he meet? How many lifetimes can one man have?

Fifty-Two Pickup

Less than a week after the fall of the Triskelion, Steve Rogers is released from the hospital. Although his physical wounds are almost fully healed, other injuries need a bit more time, and some help from friends.

little kids get big so fast

Steve ends up having to take care of the deaged Defenders.

Grampa Steve's Bedtime Stories

If Mommy was away for work, then Morgan’s Grampa Steve came over to stay with her. He’d tuck her in, let her give Mommy a kiss on video chat, then hand her the picture of Daddy for his kiss. Once Daddy’s picture was back on the bookshelf, Grampa Steve would turn off the bedside lamp so that Miss Friday could cover the ceiling with stars, and ask Morgan what story she wanted to hear.

“Captain Steve, Grampa! Tell me Captain Steve!”

Grampa Steve sometimes read to her from books and other times watched a movie with her, but her favorite by far was when he told her Captain Steve’s Adventures Through the Multiverse.

On Camping Trips

Sam is more Hermione than Natasha is, and Steve doesn't want to be Harry.

Powerful

Steve loses the advantages of the super-soldier serum. This is not a tragedy.

His Dream

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson

As if on cue, Steve cut him off with a loud sneeze.

"Yeah. Like that." Sam nodded. "And please sneeze into your elbow next time, dude. You could've just started an epidemic."

"Sorry. Allergies." Steve excused, and Sam raised an eyebrow.

"How do you know it's allergies?" Sam asked, and Steve sighed, putting the ingredients together and solving the mystery of what the gas had actually done.

The answer wasn't ideal. "It feels like the seasonal allergies I had before. Before the serum- and I haven't had them since the serum."

Realization clicked in Sam's head.

"The gas de-serumed you."

Steve swallowed and nodded reluctantly.

OR: Steve gets temporarily de-serumed, with his height and stature staying the same but his immune system being as bad as it was before, and has to stay in the hospital to prevent a severe allergic reaction or illness. Sam stays with him the whole time, making sure he's not alone.

A Strange Encounter

Things have gone awry and Strange is injured. With no other options, he's called for assistance from Captain America and his team.

even if we're apart, i'll always be with you

Steve finds a dirty toy bear at an abandoned gas station, on the way back from a school trip. He brings him home.

As Long as You’re Not Tired Yet of Talking

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov

When Steve Rogers tells her, “Don’t be a stranger,” as they’re all going their own ways after New York, it makes her want to laugh.

Draw/Breath

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov

Natasha like knowing what makes people tick. She likes knowing things, about her teammates and her coworkers and herself. Oddly enough, sometimes other people like knowing her too.

AKA: Natasha wants to know why Steve isn’t drawing anymore, and takes the long way round to get her answer. Because why not.

With Magic We Do Fly

Pairings: Wanda Maximoff & Steve Rogers

In Civil War we see Wanda fling Steve into the air with her magic. They must have practiced that, right?

Que Wanda throwing Steve against a wall. Many times.

Just Like We Practiced

Pairings: Wanda Maximoff & Steve Rogers

Steve had said, in the movie when he asked Wanda to lift him into the building, "Just like we practiced." But just how did they come up with the idea of her lifting people with her powers, and putting them up somewhere like an escalator? Perhaps it was because Wanda accidentally sent a certain tall, blond Avenger face-first into the floor once and he decided he would help her learn to utilize this as a confidence building exercise. Natasha keeps an eye, Thor and Sam help build the training grounds, and Wanda has found her new home. Takes place between AGE OF ULTRON and CIVIL WAR.

Black and White but Red and Blue

They're watching black and white film reels, but Steve sees them in colour.

"My shield may be black and white but it was red and blue. Just like the blue sky under which red blood was spilled. Like Bucky's blue eyes and Peggy's red lips..."

The Road Warriors

Characters: Sam Wilson (Marvel), Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Wanda Maximoff

It wasn't pretty, but somehow the four of them managed to make it through two years on the run.

We'll Fix It

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov

Steve has a hard time after his battle with The Winter Soldier and isn't sure what to do with himself. After not seeing him for a week, Natasha finally shows up to his apartment unannounced to figure out how they can get back to work. There is some crying involved.

From Here On Out

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov

The Accords, the search for Bucky, the fight at the airport ... In a world where nothing will ever be the same, sometimes the road to rebuilding trust and friendship is a little rockier than it should be.

AKA, the story of Steve & Natasha and how they got to where they are.

Set post-Civil War but pre-Infinity War.

I have this breath and I hold it tight

Parings: Wanda Maximoff & Steve Rogers, Clint Barton & Wanda Maximoff, Wanda Maximoff & Vision

Steve finally goes to Wanda’s tiny room and taps on the doorframe, although it’s hardly necessary, with the slightly warped floorboards creaking under his feet. “Hey,” he says. “Got a minute?”

Wanda's been a little withdrawn since Steve broke everyone out of the Raft. She's had a lot to think about.

to you.

Pairings: Pietro Maximoff & Wanda Maximoff, Clint Barton & Wanda Maximoff, Wanda Maximoff & Natasha Romanov, Wanda Maximoff & Steve Rogers, Wanda Maximoff & Sam Wilson, Wanda Maximoff & Tony Stark

It's Wanda's birthday today. She's not sure how to feel.

New Love

Pairings: Diana (Wonder Woman) & Steve Rogers

Near the end of World War II, Diana Prince finds herself attempting to reconnect to her long-gone, beloved Steve Trevor. However, she comes across Steve Rogers instead.

Sharing Life (And Canned Green Beans)

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov

It’s Thanksgiving, and Steve is hiding in the second living room on the 8th floor of the penthouse apartments with a can of green beans.

I'm Fine

Steve slowly began to realize that the problem with being a national icon, a hero, and a role model, is that somehow, he became more than human. He become a symbol, not a person. So when he becomes increasingly unhappy, deeply depressed, and utterly adrift in a world where he doesn't belong, the loneliness and isolation are unbearable. How could anyone believe that an iconic hero like himself was really just an ordinary kid from Brooklyn, dying inside because everything he'd gained still wasn't enough to replace everything he'd lost? How could he possibly bring himself to bleed on the ones he loves? So he tells himself the same lie over and over, hoping one day, he'll believe it.

dogpile

"My dog ate my mission report" An injured Steve remembers something he has to do. Unabashed Steve and dogs fluff. "Didn't peg you for a pet guy." "Allergies."

Alone In This World (Together)

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov & Sam Wilson

“We’re fugitives,” Steve said finally. “It might never get better.”

“The world’s always going to need saving," Sam replied. "We’re still Avengers. No one can take that away from us.” Then, like they hadn't been having an entire conversation before, “So when do we leave?”

“Once night falls.”

Do we have any idea where she is?”

“No.” Steve took a sip of his coffee. “But I know where she’ll be.”

it gets the worst at night

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov

Here's how it goes: Natasha sometimes shares a bed with Steve. It's not what it sounds like.

(In which there are Colombian drug lords, awkward boners, cuddly super-soldiers and the Avengers are all giant dorks.)

Shelter

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson

Sam and Steve, right after the fall of SHIELD.

Princely Bickering

Pairings: Jane Foster/Thor, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers & Jane Foster, Steve Rogers & Thor

Steve allows Sam to lean up and inspect his head for bruises and blood. He then checks out Steve’s eyes. ‘Do you know where you are?’ Steve rolls his eyes. ‘Don’t be an ass, Cap, apparently you can break.’ ‘London, England, chasing apparently useless Hydra intel despite having about five hundred international arrest warrants out for us because we’re just that stupid,’ says Steve. Sam pats him - gently - on the shoulder. Life on the run isn't easy, especially not after an injury. Fortunately Steve still has a few allies left.

And The Seconds Tick Down

AU of Civil War. How the world ended in twenty steps when Steve died.

"Grant" and "Francis" Go Shopping

Pairings: Clint Barton & Steve Rogers

Steve and Clint both have holiday shopping to do for their family of choice, so they make a day trip to an outlet mall, have a few heart to hearts, use some coupons, buy a bunch of presents, and eventually get through their shopping lists.

A Tune Without Words

Pairings: Jane Foster/Thor, Steve Rogers & Thor, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson

As he and Sam prepare to begin searching for Bucky, Steve gets various offers of help—some more unexpected than others.

Purpose

Tony Stark wins the fight in Siberia completely by accident.

Steve Rogers does not resist his arrest as he is taken to the Raft.

Sam Wilson, T'Challa, and Pepper Potts pick up the pieces.

Full of Wounds and Still Standing on my Feet

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Wanda Maximoff

The five times Steve looked out for Wanda, and one time Wanda decided someone needed to look out for Steve.

Three Awakenings

The first three times that Steve Rogers woke up during his first twenty-four hours in the twenty-first century.

Making Your Own Future

Characters: Steve Rogers, Diana Prince, Steve Trevor Five times -- plus one -- that Diana Prince and Steve Rogers encountered one another.

Better Living Through Pizza

Pairings: Clint Barton & Steve Rogers

Steve takes some time off from soldiering and Avengering to get his head on straight, and Clint is assigned to keep an eye on him, because apparently SHIELD believes in the blind leading the blind. Steve really needs a hobby, since modern television shows baffle him, but Clint keeps bringing him DVDs and pizza.

Five Times Clint Barton Spoke with Steve Rogers about Growing Old and the One Time He Didn't.

Pairings: Clint Barton & Steve Rogers

When Steve Rogers reappeared from the past as an old man, there was a lot of catching up to do. Clint Barton made sure nobody got left behind.

Hammer's Totally Heavy-Handed and Incompetent Revenge

"So, at the end of IM2, Justin Hammer swears revenge on Pepper. He waits until Tony and Rhodey are halfway across the world to launch his attack.

Unfortunately for him, thanks to SHIELD, Iron Man and War Machine aren't the only superheroes in Pepper's rolladex. Steve thinks Pepper's just swell and doesn't take too kindly to somebody trying to hurt her."

Cue badass!Steve and competent!Pepper

Fan Mail

Steve starts getting his fan mail and receives an invitation to the prom. Written for a prompt at the Avengers kink meme. It was a great prompt, and so much fun to write and get feedback for!

Prom. Steve 'Grandpa Iceberg' Rogers at a 21st-century high school prom. "This isn't happening. This whole conversation is just an elaborate practical joke. Bruce really just has orders for widgets or something."

Bruce waved the printouts at him. "Fraid not. I don't really do practical jokes. Messing with other people's moods just seems. I don't know. Karmically unwise."

Mascot

Steve runs. People see Steve run. Steve gets adopted by the neighbourhood he runs through every week day morning. He finds this confusing. Tony finds it amusing.

Locks Not Replaced

Tony angsts back at Avengers' HQ, Ross is a bully and Steve makes sure he doesn't get away with it. In other words, there is much regret, a bit on the philosophy of locks, adventure and far too many Robin Hood metaphors.

woof

For a prompt on the avengers kinkmeme: "...something different happens when Steve gets Dr Erskine's serum plus the Vita ray treatment... Steve does get taller and stronger, but when the first full moon hits, he turns into a big friendly looking dog. Yes, he's a weredog, not a werewolf."

Mission: Baby

Pairings: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers

The Asset finds himself in charge of the care of a small baby, but somehow he knows—he has to protect the baby from all harm, whatever the cost.

14 Tracks

Pairings: Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Avengers Team 14 tracks from Steve's iPod and how they got on there.

Life Will Rattle Your Bones

Pairings: Erik Lehnsherr & Steve Rogers

Captain America and the Howling Commandos find Schmidt sooner than they thought... wait, what do you mean this is a *different* Schmidt?

In war-torn Germany, the paths of Steve Rogers and Erik Lehnsherr cross, part, and cross again.

come build me up

Pairings: Sharon Carter & Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers

“Do you ever feel like -- like you joined up because you wanted to do good. You wanted to do the right thing but somewhere along the way, you just lost the whole fucking plot.”

“All of the time.”

Or: the one where Captain America and Agent 13 give long distance friendship a whirl.

Down in the Worn Out Place Again

Pairings: Wanda Maximoff & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Wanda Maximoff

“You don't look a day over 85, Captain,” Wanda says.

Natasha smiles, just barely, and nudges Steve with her elbow. “She makes jokes now.”

(Post AoU, stories about friendship.)

Satellites

Characters: Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Tony Stark, Clint Barton, Nick Fury Pairings: Natasha Romanov & Steve Rogers, Minor Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson, Minor Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov

In the immediate aftermath of SHIELD's collapse and Steve's plunge into the Potomac, Natasha considers her place in the world. Also the fact that Steve is depressing.

Timeless Classics

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Avengers Team Five An undetermined number of times (six, apparently) Steve unexpectedly got the reference (sort of), and one time everyone discovered something new together.

you just wait and see

Pairings: Rocket Raccoon & Steve Rogers

“Thor said you’re the captain.” Rogers says, his voice distant, sad smile growing into a sadder grin. “Tough job.”

The Small Hours

Pairings: Steve Rogers & T'Challa, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers

"I'm not getting him back, am I." The words were flatly delivered – not a question so much as fatigued resignation. "We will do everything we can to help him," T'Challa quietly replied, but he wouldn't lie, not about this. Not to a fellow warrior he respected on and off the field of battle. "The possibility does exist, however, that the triggers are permanent."

The Man We All Remember From the Newsreels

Still getting used to the twenty-first century, Steve comforts himself with memories of long-gone friends. But Howard Stark, the man Steve remembers, is nothing like the man he sees in the newsreels.

we're all choir boys at best

Characters: Steve Rogers, Johnny Storm

You are totally getting laid tonight. "Please stop talking." You hijacked my brain first, this is totally not my fault.

Epistaxis

Steve doesn't worry the first time he gets a bloody nose that won't quit. But when it happens a second, third, fourth... He, and his teammates, start to get concerned.

You Close Your Eyes and the Glory Fades

His body isn’t his own, he knows that, knew before the procedure that everything would change. That was the easiest thing to wrap his head around, actually, the physical changes. He’s used to his body betraying him, so this is just another thing to learn his way around. But the colors of everything, even the sliver of blue sky he could see, craning his head at the tiny window, look different.

Looking For Answers (From The Great Beyond)

After the Battle of New York is over, and Loki and the tesseract are returned to Asgard, Steve takes a road trip across the country, and tries to figure out what he wants to do next.

Mourning the Future

Steve's ties to the past and the future are pretty tenuous, and the serum ensures he lives in an eternal present state of ever-youthful vigour. When an old war buddy gets handed his last marching orders, Steve has to wonder if everyone will eventually leave.

Riviera Life

Sam and Steve have been traversing Europe looking for Bucky. Not everyone is convinced it isn’t an open invitation road trip.

Voluntary Bros.

Characters: Steve Rogers, Johnny Storm

"Dude, you could be twins, they tested you before they defrosted you to see if you were a clone or something, or if he was a clone," Clint said.

"I want to talk to him, I think. I mean, a girl threw her latte at me last week for not calling her back and this dude felt me up at an art gallery yesterday," Steve said.

Two Brooklynites and One Big Apple

Pairings: Miles Morales & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers

“You did good out there today,” Captain America said, brushing a layer of detritus from his unfathomably broad shoulder. “I’ll see you around.”

“Not if I see you first,” replied Miles, fingergunning with one hand as he sent a web rope fwipping off into the distance with the other, catapulting himself away at tremendous speed.

... in which two superheroes battle with bad guys, embark on community art lessons, and a friendship forms along the way.

Battle Fatigue

Steve thought he was doing okay. Things weren't going great, but they were fine, manageable even, and then suddenly they weren't.

We Become New Yorkers (or: Five Times Steve Rogers Looked For Home, and One Time Home Found Him)

New York is a million cities at the same time. This is how Steve found his.

A beautiful day in the neighborhood

In which Steve and Peter learn that the best way to get through a bad situation is together. And to avoid collapsing buildings. And that concussions are terrible, terrible things.

Leviticus 25

"You want to save Bucky Barnes? You are going to have to put your own house in order first because he is going to need a rock to cling to. You are not ready to be that rock for him. You owe it to him -- and more importantly, you owe it to yourself -- to figure things out, figure out how you can be happy in this time and place, whether or not Barnes is with you."

Strike

Sometimes the road to recovery involves bowling. Conveniently, so does the one to the Grand Canyon.

Conversation in Wakanda

“I have been told that you had the privilege to share a training session with some of our Dora Milaje,” T’Challa says. “May I ask how it went?”

“Well,” the Captain huffs. “There’s no polite way to say it: I had my ass handed to me. Repeatedly.”

He sounds and looks utterly delighted.

Contact Light

Everyone thought computers would be the thing that really blew Steve's mind about the 21st century. They were wrong. When he finds out that he missed the moon landing, it's the start of an ongoing obsession with space that maybe involves Neil deGrasse Tyson, Twitter, and Star Trek marathons.

Twenty-Two

“This is Lucky,” Clint said when a dog got between him and Natasha. Lucky’s vest was bright, like desert mornings and night explosions.

“Does he help?” Natasha asked.

Clint pressed his hands flat on the counter behind him. “He saved my life.”

Natasha looked at Steve, her expression fierce. Steve resisted the urge to yank down his sleeves. Instead, he dug his nails into the puckered skin on his forearms.

AKA An AU in which Steve is a veteran just trying to survive (or not).

Gray

Peter doesn't expect Steve to show up at his house one night when he gets home from school. He also doesn't expect to have a long conversation with him, and choose to be on his side instead.

We're Happy, Free, Confused, and Lonely at the Same Time.

"Tony isn't sure, but he *thinks* Steve Rogers is going to try and argue with him about not being a kid, while wrapped up in a fluffy blanket and plaid pyjama pants watching a Disney movie. Tony really hopes that is the case. The Captain America voice looses all affect when wrapped up in that blanket and Tony can't wait to inform him as such." - The one where Tony realises that Captain America and Steve Rogers are not the same person, and Steve is so much younger then he thought.

This Isn't A Love Song, This Isn't A Fable

Steve's not OK with people's perception of Captain America, no matter what he says or how much he pretends otherwise. It's like no one in this time period realizes that there's more to him than a spangly outfit. And yes, he's including the Avengers in that. ... or, the one where everything's all right, until it's not.

it's safe here in our new world

Post TWS. In which Natasha and Steve go shopping, have Thursday night movie nights, and learn that Natasha loves to platonically kiss Steve. Which is good, because Steve loves being platonically kissed by Natasha.

Shadowboxing

Pairings: Matt Murdock & Steve Rogers

It doesn’t matter how many times you fall – what matters most is how many times you get back up. Steve Rogers knew this lesson far too well and it was one Matt Murdock had endured all his life. With both men at their lowest, could a chance friendship bring each of them to their feet again?

Everybody Eats When They Come to My House

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers

“You’ll ruin your dinner,” Sam says, gesturing with Steve with his spatula.

i fear for the calendar; its days are numbered

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson

Before she goes off the grid, Natasha gives Steve her phone number. He’s honored that he’s the only one to be trusted with it, but quickly learns that she spends most of her free time texting him Dad jokes.

Status Quo Ante

Pairings: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers

A tale in which Sam suspects he should be used to this by now, for values of 'this' that involve certain folks he hangs out with and situations he finds himself in, Team Cap becomes Team Ex-Cap becomes TBD, and nobody but Clint really wants to know what happened to Scott Lang's GI Joes. (Sam Wilson from the final scene to the mid-credits scene.)

The Glass Parade

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov

Steve thinks that he’s seen Natasha be at least three different people in the short time he’s known her, and he isn’t sure which one is real.

In which the most confusing part of the future is how much Steve has in common with Natasha, and the fact that she seems dead-set on being his friend.

Still Life

Steve Rogers and a very modern form of art therapy. (The one where Steve draws himself out of despair and into some notoriety when his cartoons hit the internet, but he's still not allowed to look at Tumblr without an okay from Pepper.)

Selective Service

The serum's given Steve a lot, but it hasn't taken anything away from him. Not even the things he never wanted in the first place.

I'm a Hustler, Baby

Steve Rogers has a talent for pool--and for making others believe he's terrible at it.

The Healing Properties of Felt-Tip Pens

Rapid healing has worked wonders on Steve Rogers' body, but occasionally it really screws with his head. In the aftermath of torture, Bruce Banner helps Steve to reconcile mind and body.

If I Die Before I Wake

It's his job, as their leader, to endure the sadistic focus of their captor, and that is the one thought that carries Steve through.

Even Gods Do

Captain America doesn't have a good relationship with sleep anymore. Also, he's not a toy.

Under My Skin

Written for a prompt on avengerkink: I want to see something where, for whatever reason, Steve's accelerated healing turns out to be a bad thing. Something where the faster healing is making things worse. I would prefer something other than the standard, super-healing allows for more torture without death. “He's lucky – to have the serum, to have you all.” Tony wasn't sure about that first part. When one faced death and destruction every day on the job, there were many advantages to having a healing factor...and a great many disadvantages as well.

A Glossary of the 21st Century

Pairings: pre-Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov

Steve's sick of not understanding what's going on, and the team are not all that helpful, so he starts keeping an illustrated notebook for further research. With the help of wiki, google and Logan he starts to settle in and find his place in the twenty-first century.

Blanket Gift Policy

“You didn’t,” Bucky said, with no real hope of being contradicted. Clint shrugged helplessly and passed him the large, soft bundle wrapped in shiny purple foil.

“Sorry.” Tony covered his eyes with one hand.

“I’m getting a migraine.”

“So,” Bruce said wearily, “counting Clint, me, Bucky, Tony, and Sam, that brings it up to five.”

“Excuse you, mine’s not a blanket,” Sam said. “Mine’s a slanket. Big difference.”

Bucky resisted the urge to throw the whole heap of parcels at Sam’s head. “Because it has sleeves? It’s still a blanket, Wilson. They’re all blankets. Even Thor’s direct-from-Asgard raven gift delivery was a cloak, which just means it’s a blanket with a strap. We all got Steve a goddamn blanket.”

One Tin Soldier

Written for a prompt at avengerkink: Because really, under any other circumstances, why would they follow him when he's some guy who's younger than the rest of them (time as a Capsicle aside), who goes around wearing that spangly outfit, who's not even used to the modern world? Why Steve Rogers, rather than a Norse god or the CEO of Stark Industries or anyone else?

“Love is for children,” she'd said, but respect knew no such bounds. The five times the Avengers accepted Steve as their leader, and the one time they followed without question.

and if there's life we'll see it

Steve is instantly taken with this idea of having the picture of the person calling you flash on your screen when they ring your cell.

Secure Your Own Oxygen Mask (Before Assisting Others)

Steve keeps going, because they need him. Being Captain America - having the serum - is a responsibility and a privilege he takes seriously, and he won't waste it by sitting around resting in the middle of a crisis. But then the work is over, and the original victims of the crisis aren't the only ones needing looking after.

Way of the Eagle

Clint introduces Steve to kung-fu movies. Things escalate quickly.

Walking Wounded

In the aftermath of the battle against the Chitauri, Steve's doing just fine. Until he's not. Fortunately, Thor is a perfect mother-hen, Tony makes decent back-up, JARVIS is a genius, and Soap Operas are life-changing. (Or, Post-Shawarma Feels.)

[sweetswesf]

Check In

What I Did Today

Took a recruiter call

Chatted with a friend who wants to help me get hired

Connected with another former Apprentice who was also laid off

Worked out

FINALLY DID 1 ALGO!! It only took damn there 2 weeks!!!

Concluded a DECADE long "friendship" with probably my 1st love

Cut it off with that dude I met on Hinge because he was on a dating app looking for friends *EYE ROLL*

Called my grandmother to thank her for the Thanksgiving Day card she gave me

What I Learned Today

I procrastinate A LOT...

I ACTUALLY want to learn this all this stuff I have mapped out

Feeling

Productive, and a little proud, but also a little ashamed of how long it took me to get started...I know I can do better

It may take at least 6 months to be where I want to be...is that too long? Am I being too liberal?

A bit anxious when I realize what the REAL timeline is

I don't have major headaches these days, but there's always a little something I feel in my head every day ever since my major headache last week...I'm a bit nervous that working out is not great for me right now, but I feel heavier than I usually am and need the physical exercise...gains can wait, but I don't know if I should pay more attention to these sensations...they're not super distracting, I am just hyper aware given that I had a head injury this year...next doc appt is next week, but they always reject my request for an MRI or CT scan...I have done some research online and SOME say working out is good for it...gets the blood going, reduces the stress, but only after some initial rest...but I haven't had an injury recently so IDK...pray for me please :) my balance is okay, coordination is okay, strength is okay, no vomiting or diarrhea anymore...idk what's up...

Takeaways

I needed a guilt free 2 week break after being laid off...and I did not afford myself that, but I tried my best

I am so stressed BECAUSE I procrastinate when I think I'm already so far behind or try to discourage myself with, "do I REALLY have to learn these concepts?!," when I know I DO...

I don't have to master it all...I need to take it slow, forgive myself when I'm not operating at my best, and not put so much pressure on myself

I GOTTA get off of toxic ass TWITTER and stop watching so much YOUTUBE!!! I don't even be really entertained...just numb...and all the surprise porn or fights on Twitter is REALLY not the distraction I need right now

I get invites to things, and I'm going to take them...because I'm single af, I don't have A TON of close friends, and I need to be social

I'm healing...I didn't even get totally sad or cry when I told my grandmother I couldn't afford to come home for the holidays...I feel like I COULD pay for the flight...I just kind of don't want to anymore since I always pay to go out solo; I am also just so sad that they never want to help me with the flight, even after I claimed I couldn't afford...maybe they know I'm BS'ing, or maybe they don't care to see me that much for them to pay the ~$100 roundtrip

I could be so confident, so fit, so wealthy, so strong, if I gave up all the things not serving me...

How I Got Myself Out of a Rut Today

Prayer

Allowing myself to watch just one more episode of British Bakeoff before getting started

Telling myself that I did not have to do it all today

Ordering takeout so that it was one less thing I had to stress about

Exercising a little discipline

Putting all my unwatched YouTube videos in a playlist...sounds strange, yes, but the way my brain works is if I know I have videos unwatched but not organized, I will feel like they are an uncompleted task and my mind will distract me to tell me "DO THIS FIRST!" since the effort to complete them is small

Encouraging myself with "You can do it," and, "be 'That Girl'!"

Goals After Today

Not listen to people worried about their own circumstances and remember God works on his own time and I am in no rush...

Strengthen my relationship with God

Understand the main concepts I need to from Interview Cake, AlgoExpert, etc. in less 3 months

Drop my body fat percentage

Use social media/YouTube less

Improve my relationship with my family

Be more confident & faithful

Move more during my day

DRINK MORE WATER!

Get back on the ball

Be kinder to myself and stop guilting myself if my energy isn't always on 100%

Go on a date with a guy I actually like who actually likes me too

Find a therapist

Figure out what keeps making me sick...

[leonicscorpio]

Batboy Headcanons because I made this for me but you all can enjoy this too if want. (May contain mild NSFW)

Dick:

Has a weird relationship with unwanted gaze and the attention he receives because of his physique. He genuinely likes the attention but he draws the line when people start getting touchy. Just because he's shirtless working out doesn't mean he gave you consent to touch him.

Has good dieting skills but he's in his mid-late 20's and his metabolism has 0 signs of slowing down. He once ate a whole xl bag of M&M's in front of Steph and Babs and both said they wanted to murder him because he won't gain a pound.

Dick has ADHD and I'm sorry if you don't think otherwise. He has hyperactive type ADHD and while he's gotten better at controlling his symptoms he still stims stretching and flexing his arms and shaking his arms.

While not so much in Gotham, Dick is very politically active and volunteers at voter registration and working with organizations with the mission of police demilitarization in Blüdhaven.

Dick is a very sexually driven individual. However, I don't think it's entirely healthy. His ADHD also comes into play with this but Dick just needs to have a release at least twice a day or he'll feel physically sick.

I don't know if you all have seen male gymnasts. But Dick, like the rest of them, has FREAKSISHLY large biceps. Everyone talks about Dick has the best ass in the bat family and while Jason may be larger and stronger, Dick has the best physique.

Dick's apartment is littered with sticky notes in places such as the fridge/in front of his computer. If it's not written down and in a place where he can't ignore it, it's not going to get done.

I'm sorry I know everyone says his birthday is in March but I have to go to the older Nightwing comics and say his Birthday is December 1st. I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me this man doesn't give off Sagittarius energy. You can't. I respect you but you can't look at that and tell me that man isn't a Sagittarius or has super heavy Sag in his birth chart.

Dick's at home doing nothing but chilling? You best believe he's gonna be shirts off, tits out, and rocking some blue flannel PJ's.

Dick is currently the only member of the family asides from Barbara who is regularly attending therapy. And he actively encourages each of his brothers and sisters to go every time.

After his Agent 37 days. He sits down with Jason and talks about having to use a gun and how hard it was. And how having to kill people has affected him. When he had to kill the KGBeast (Agent 37 days he snapped his neck) I headcanon Dick just trauma v*mit*d. Jason hugged him and just consoled him.

It's canon that Dick has anger issues but to me, it's not explored or talked about enough and not a lot of people like to talk about it. Dick is very much the 'if I ignore it it'll go away' type when it comes to his anger and he can brush most insults or harassment off fine enough. But when he breaks, he makes Jason look like a saint. I'm talking slamming you into a wall and screaming in your face angry. He'll be profusely apologetic afterward but still.

Despite popular belief, I don't think he's that bad of a cook. He's just not very experimentative. He can follow a recipe and does look at some guides. But to me, Dick Grayson just is that guy who is like Chicken veggies and rice are a meal that I can cook 4-6 times a week.

Dick has a slight fear of dentists. He doesn't have bad teeth and has good dental health. He just doesn't like the idea of a drill going in his mouth and the few times Bruce has to take him to a dentist he had a panic attack every time.

Everyone lives for the fics where Jason beats the shit out of Tim and everyone is just like lol well Bruce and Dick just forgives him. No. When Dick found out it was Jason who beat Tim to the ground, Dick was literally seething and told Jason "Pick on someone your own size or else I'll make you wish you back in that f'ing coffin."

Dick's favorite foods (some based in Canon*): Milk Chocolate*, Cereal*, Asparagus, Bananas, Banana flavored candy, Hawaiian Pizza* (suffer its canon) Rum, thanksgiving Turkey.

Jason:

He may be the self-diagnosed black sheep (rightfully so) of the family, but Jason does genuinely love spending time with his siblings. Whether it be sharing memes with them on social media or just randomly showing up where they are and abducting them to go get ice cream/coffee/snacks.

He'd probably attempt to harm you if you told him this to his face. But he is the closest acting to Bruce out of all of the family. In terms of mannerisms and inherent warmth and kindness behind a dark façade.

Has two moods: either exceptionally, almost neat-freak levels of clean, or his life is completely falling apart and Jason can't tell you for sure what color his floors are because there's so much stuff scattered about.

Despite their initial hatred of each other, Jason truly feels closest to Tim and Tim is the only person asides from maybe Barbra who he can just talk to without feeling any judgment.

Jason only smokes when he's extremely nervous about an operation or a hit. For those who don't know criminal justice cigarettes are the fastest way to get genetic material on someone. That being said he does still like to smoke occasionally.

Me, plus a lot of people give him this sort of 'Lazarus Rage' as I like to call it. When he's in the heat of a mission or if he's getting upset/angry his vision will get blurred with green, and it feeds on his anger and just gets perpetually harder to contain until he releases it. Jason has gotten much better at controlling it. But as he will tell Tim or Babs, he's "seeing green" which means they need to be careful because Jason could kill.

Everyone says Dick is the mother hen. I see you, I accept you, but let me raise you. Jason came to realize that he died because of his rash decision to go after The Joker alone. If Jason finds any of his siblings out acting alone, or even at the very least without Oracle. Jason WILL forcefully interject himself and ask them what the fuck they think their doing.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Trying to get close to Jason is hard. He will degrade you can attempt to try to get you to hate him before he lets you in (that cheeky Tsun of him)

He genuinely cares for and supports all of his siblings but has been rough on them needlessly. But if Bruce is being the distant or absent parent he is, you better believe if any of the siblings drops him a text or a call, Jason will be there in a heartbeat.

He's the most physically powerful of the whole Bat Family. You don't understand because of his time in the League, his time with the All-Caste, and having abused Venom for a time, he can snap an arm bone like it's a carrot with little effort.

Everyone in the family likes dogs and goes out of their way to gush over a dog, but Jason takes it to a whole new level. And even when he's masked up dogs just gravitate to Jason.

Can and has grown a beard in a matter of a few days. He usually likes to be clean shaven but some days he likes to wear a beard just to throw everyone off.

One time him, Steph, Tim, and Duke all went to a restaurant (Red Robin lol) and the waitress got his order wrong and his burger had raw tomatoes on it, Jason took the tomatoes off and ate it while looking absolutely miserable. Tim: Jay why did you eat that you didn't have to you know you could have asked the server to fix your burger. Jason, almost in tears: "She works really hard and she tried and I'm a scary dude I don't want to make her upset.." Duke: "... Jason you literally shot at a cop for looking at you funny the other day. But you're afraid of upsetting a waitress?!? I mean ACAB but dude.. "

Jason's happiest big brother moment™ was taking Tim and Damian to the shooting range and watching them both get their first bullseye.

You can't tell me Jason Todd was into the Emo/Screamo/Warped-Tour Scene. His favorite bands/Albums in no particular order, That's the Spirit (Literally the whole album is Jason Themed and I'm gonna die on this hill) & Sempiternal by Bring me the Horizon, Digital Renegade & Everyone's Safe in the Treehouse by I See Stars, The Resistance: Rise of the Runaways by Crown the Empire,

Jason Todd's favorite foods: (Also some based in Canon*) Burgers, Chili Dogs*, Lager-style beers, Freshly baked bread*, Neopolitan ice cream, grilled corn, and Chinese Chicken noodle soup with Duck.

Tim:

This boy *slaps car roof* gives off so much asexual energy. I know New 52 exists but I just feel like Tim is the person who really, REALLY has to trust you and like you before he's sexually active with you.

HYPERFIXATES. You also can't tell me Tim isn't on the spectrum/or has ADHD.

Is the only member of the family who regularly checks up on Jason and talks to him every day via text message. The two are memelords together and love to play pranks on the other members.

While Dick may give the most frequent hugs and Jason gives the tightest, most secure hugs, Tim's hugs are always the warmest and make you just feel good.

Tim's birthday is July 19th. Meaning he's a Cancer. Let that sink in.. no, really let that information just soak. (Note I have nothing against Cancer women, cancer men however....)

All of the bat boys really struggle with talking about their feelings. Dick will manipulate you into changing the subject via twisting it to be about you, Jason will just cut you off or will ignore you, Damian will deflect everything and harass you until you stop, Tim however, Tim is very emotional and while he's very calculated about who he's emotional with, he's not afraid to break down and cry if he trusts you.

Everyone who says he's the level headed Robin haha how's it feel to be WRONG. Tim is at best the least functional college student and at worst a lemming. 'No Tim, coffee isn't a meal I'm going to make you some food or I'm going to stick you in a room with Damian for an hour.' Richard (Dick) John Grayson.

People overblow how addicted to caffeine Tim is. But it's true. Just overblown. You can talk to him before he's had his caffeine just don't expect him to be anything but curt and blunt.

Everyone says Jason would be the worst at texting but it's Tim. He's the master of leaving you on read. While Jason may do it on purpose, Tim is just really bad at texting people and while he always will read your messages he forgets to respond unless it's really funny or really pressing.

Everyone sees Tim as this bean pole super skinny boy Robin. Tim may not be stacked like Dick or a freaking tank like Jason, but Tim is NOT super skinny. He's just as muscular and likes to work out as anyone, but he just is super lean, so he looks a lot bigger and his muscles are more defined because of how thin his skin is. He has those almost disgusting spider veins on his arm. Kind of gross to look at, but he's the dream of any nurse. This means Tim is also the king of accidentally sending/posting thirst traps.

He really is the glue of the Bat Family. Everyone kidnaps Tim for 'Tim Time'.

Dick likes to spar with and in general just hang out with Tim. Tim tried to teach Dick how to skateboard and you'd think the boy who mastered the trapeze would know how to skateboard but you'd be wrong.

Babs and Tim always hang out and talk about computer stuff and Babs knows she can vent to Tim about anything and he won't say a word.

Tim and Steph were a thing for a while and even though they're just friends now, they still are very close and the two have a very deep bond, liking to shop with each other and watch movies,

Cass just loves to be around Tim because of how calming he is but also she knows she can spar with him AND Cass can also skateboard with Tim too.

Even though him and Damian are always fighting, the two still end up being together and have this unspoken bond. They work great together on a team but other than that they still hate each other.

And while everyone still is hesitant around Jason, and despite the fact that Jason literally beat Tim to within an inch of his life, AND would still trigger Tim and taunt him about it. The two have this odd closeness that rivals even him and Steph. Tim will always be the first to bat for Jason. Jason was Tim's Robin. And despite the fact Jason literally beat it into Tim's head to "never meet your heroes." Tim will always be there for Jason should he ask. The two are just close. And it's hard to describe. Bruce has caught Tim and Jason just platonically sleeping next to each other or just doing their own things shoulder to shoulder silently, just enjoying each other's company.

Tim and Duke also have a really positive relationship with one another and the two can stay up all night just talking about anything. Their minds just mesh well together. The two also love to team up and prank the other members of the Batman Family.

Tim's favorite ASMR/Stim? Watching those Tik Toks of people cleaning computers or cleaning phones. The sound of an air duster is like music to his ears and if any of the Bats need their technology cleaned it secretly makes Tim so happy to help them.

Wear his hair up or wear his hair down? It depends! While Tim likes his long hair he also has gotten plenty of compliments for his short hair and likes to style it to suit any occasion.

My one pet-peeve with Tim is that he probably is that person who lets his privilege show from time to time. While he was essentially raised to just sit down, shut up, and be a perfect trophy son to the Drake's. The Drake's were in the same tax bracket as Bruce and Tim definitely was a rich kid. He never means to come across as spoiled, but sometimes Jason will give him harsh looks if Tim just throws away food he doesn't like or says things like Chipotle is 'poor people food'

Tim Drake's favorite foods (you know by now*) Donuts*, Shallot and Artichoke Pizza with Canadian Bacon* (odd choice but it could work) Artichokes in general are his favorite vegetable, Strawberries, and Beef Pho.

Damian:

I headcanon that he has the worst teeth of all of the Bat Boys and he actually has to use lingual braces. (Hence why you can't see his braces)

Canonically is a very good artist and while him and Tim don't get along, Tim introduced Damian to digital art and gave him a photoshop pack and a nice tablet for his birthday one year and Damian loved it so much.

Damian is a capricorn and I will die on this hill. A January capricorn too.

Now you want a good chef? You've got Damian. Having converted to veganism Damian has had to get creative whenever he goes out to eat so he tends to like to eat more home cooked foods. Damian loves all matters of mushrooms, eggplant, and bell peppers.

Damian really struggles the most with his wanting to just be a normal kid. Despite the fact he will dismiss you for it, anytime he gets to spend at Gotham Academy with Jon and the rest of the kids he's naturally the happiest.

Damian LOVES to give gifts. He loves the look on people's faces when they are shocked when they actually get something from Damian.

Despite the fact that he's been traumatized from both his times with Ra's and Talia as well as with Bruce. He just wants Bruce and Talia to be together because he loves them both equally.

While he's the least flexible and least gymnastic of the Robins do let your guard down around him. He is the fastest runner and the guy is rivaled only by Jason in terms of lethality.

So someone (Jason Todd & Duke Thomas) introduced Damian to trap music and ever since anytime his phone gets stolen people will be shocked to find he's listening to some combination of Lil' Yachty, X, Kendrick Lamar, Wiz, and Kodak.

If any random person tries to hug Damian he'll immediately push them away, he'll bitch and moan about just about anyone hugging him other than Bruce & Dick.

Damian loves to go to the beach/the ocean. He just thinks it's so vast and he loves the brineness of the air. Also being half white, quarter middle-eastern and quarter Chinese (Yes everyone forgets Talia is half Chinese) Damian gets DARK. And although he's just okay as a swimmer he still likes bogeyboarding and eventually wants to learn how to surf.

I'm genuinely afraid once Puberty is done with this kid and everyone in the family is. He has Bruce Wayne AND Talia Al-Ghouls genes and those are two SEXY human beings. Damian's gonna grow a beard one day and people aren't going to know how to act.

Damian secretly plays Fortnight and not even Jon knows. He doesn't want to get shamed. He'd rather lose a match and ruin his streaks than deal with the shame of anyone in that family finding out he plays Fortnight.

Damian Wayne's favorite foods (canon*) Cereal*, Avocados, Grilled Tempeh, his mom's Tabbouleh, Mushroom Tacos, and Vegan Sushi rolls, and grape juice.

Duke Thomas

Duke is like, freakishly good with a piano, and he picked it up naturally!

Also everyone says Tim brews the best pot of coffee in the Bat Family, cue to everyone's surprise when Tim was sick one day and couldn't make a pot. Only to find the coffee was freaking amazing. Duke didn't take any credit at first until Alfred let it slip that Duke was the one who brewed the pot.

Duke being the only Meta of the family originally thought he was the double-token because he was a Meta and a black boy. Needless to say his fears were seriously unfounded the moment he got to know everyone.

Although he somewhat fears Jason and his temper initially, he and Jason have one of the closest relationships in the family. If Tim isn't around to bat for Jason, Duke will happily take his spot. The two work on each other's bikes and grew to share the same taste in music.

Duke uses his Photokenetic powers as a force for good and for shenanigans. Jason wants to play a prank on Dick and Damian while Dick is reading Damian a story? Duke will hide Jason in the shadows and will cover up his shadow. Alfred dropped something in the dark? You better believe Duke will find it in 3 seconds or less.

Duke makes it a point to visit his parents every weekend to talk to them. Although they are making some progress in their recoveries, it's still slow going. Eventually, he starts bringing members of the family to see his parents. It started with Cass, then Jason, and the rest followed suit.

Duke loves playing video games with Damian and even helps Damian beat some tougher levels when Damian is about to rage and destroy the console.

Duke is into Magic the Gathering and you cannot tell me otherwise. Duke also is the DM for the Bat Kids annual D&D games. I can and will make a D&D Batfam Headcanons if asked.

Loves Pho just as much as Cass and Tim and they all call it a date night every now and then where they can go to a hole in the wall pho place. It's really a secret between the three of them.

DUKE THOMAS IS THE BEST SWIMMER OF THE BAT BOYS AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL. HE JUST THRIVES IN THE WATER.

Finding out his birth father is a supervillain was really tough for him. He went into a shell for a little bit afterwards. Cass and Steph were there to help talk him out of his funk.

Duke Thomas's favorite foods (lol what canon DC hasn't acknowleged our boy in a while..) Chicken Pho, Thai Iced Tea, Papaya, Crab Cakes, Italian Hoagies, his mom's Lemon Poundcake, mint chocolate chip ice cream.

I hope y'all enjoyed! Up next (eventually) will be the Bat Girls!

[troubatrain]

tis the damn season - m. tkachuk

a/n: as we all know, i am an absolute whore for a christmas fic and when i listened to evermore yesterday i knew this needed to be done. i literally haven’t written anything this fast in forever but i hope you guys like it!! (also tagging @igor-shestyorkin​ @blueskrugs​ & @fenwaynightlights​ for reading this last night and telling me it was good so i’d actually finish it ily)

The second you walked into the party, Matthew’s eyes didn’t leave you. He knew you were coming, but watching you step into his parent’s house with a plate of your famous chocolate chip cookies and a smile that made his heart skip a beat, was almost taunting him. You dated forever ago, the last real relationship Matthew had ever been in, and by the looks of it - it was staying like that. You greeted everyone, down to the biggest hug to his grandparents who swore you were going to be Matthew’s wife one day. That was because that’s just how you were, kind and smart and constantly impressing anyone who Matthew introduced you too. Every teammate he had at the time loved you, and he knew if you were in Calgary his team now would be the same. Brady adored you, even admitting to his brother he still called you for girl advice because if Matthew fumbled the bag when it came to you there was no way Brady should take his advice. Matthew couldn’t even think about your relationship with his sister, or how crushed she was when you broke up. Then there was his parents, his mom swore it would be okay. That it was just Matthew’s first love and eventually he’d find his forever but he knew she was lying. Matthew found forever with you, and he let it implode because his dream was just more important at the time. Now, he could be at the top of the world and none of it mattered because you weren’t by his side.

Matthew just felt dumb now, because you were on to bigger and better things and you weren’t hung up on your high school ex-boyfriend. You went off to college, crushed it, and moved back into St. Louis with a near perfect job offer and success practically radiating off of you. He was standing in his kitchen in the worst Bud Light Christmas sweater like an eighteen year old frat boy and you looked every bit like the goddess Matthew knew you were. The perfect Christmas red dress you were wearing sat on your frame flawless, and it was obvious that red was still your color.

“I can leave if you want me to?” You ask, leaning into Matthew when you finally made your way over to him. Your voice was low, mouth close to Matthew’s ear while you hugged him so no one could hear you ask. You were an infinitely better person than he was, so of course you asked him if it was okay to stay.

“You’re always welcome here, you know that,” Matthew answers, sipping his beer for some liquid courage he desperately needed.

“Just because your mom invites me doesn’t mean I need to be here,” You shrug, “Maybe you’ve got someone here…”

He would never. Matthew had never even considered it, what it would be like to bring someone home that wasn’t you. There wasn’t one person in Calgary who could measure up, and despite the fact that his family loved him and would accept anyone with open arms, deep down Matthew knew you would always be on their minds.

“I don’t,” Matthew says, trying to stop himself from wrapping his arm around your waist while you stand with your chest still pressed against his from your hello hug, “I mean what would be the point? They don’t make cookies like you do.”

Matthew had to joke, cover up the fact that he was never able to let go of what you had and choke it down with beer he was drinking. He liked seeing you, the same times he did every year. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the occasional summer BBQ was something he looked forward to, sometimes he even hoped for an extra reason for you to both be somewhere. He knew you’d come, because you wouldn’t dare deny his mother’s invitation.

“Of course you noticed I made them,” You rolled your eyes, pushing Matthew back jokingly, “Remember when you used to beg me to make them-”

You stopped yourself when you noticed where this was going, you never brought up the before times. The times when Matthew would give you his best puppy dog eyes for you to bake him something, followed by a plea to just look the other way when he devoured the entire plate.

“Maybe it’s best we broke up, I probably never would’ve gotten drafted by eating these,” Matthew teases, sliding past you to grab a cookie off the counter and taking a big bite, “Because fuck these are good.”

Matthew’s moans in delight sent a chill up your spine. You hated that he could still do that to you, because it was the same thing every time. You’d see him, and for a moment you’d think that this would work itself out. You could get back together, and falling in love would be just as sweet a second time, but it wouldn’t work. You were settling into your own, a fresh lease signed in your new apartment you were going to move into after New Year’s, and Matthew was going to go back to Calgary where he was a big deal. That was always the dream, to make it big in the league and make his parents proud. Matthew was doing it, not that you ever doubted him, but you were proud nonetheless.

The thing was, because Matthew was doing the damn thing, he gave up you. It was like a deal he made with the devil when he was seventeen, he could have everything he ever wanted if he didn’t have you to hold him back. You always knew that was why he broke up with you, it was the right person at the wrong time.

“It’s nice to see you Matthew,” You muse, biting the inside of your cheeks to hold back the grin on your face. You stopped the conversation before it started, constantly trying to make this as painless as possible, but it wasn’t always easy.

“Wait, uh, you’re going to be here until Christmas right?” Matthew asks, grabbing your attention before you slipped out of the kitchen. Matthew was hopeful, catching a flight a few days earlier than he usually could and landing before Christmas gave him more time to see you.

“I’ll be at my parents house,” You nod, thinking about your childhood bedroom that was currently covered in moving boxes while you waited to settle into your new place.

“Oh sweet,” Matthew takes another swing of his drink, trying to keep his cool because you were the only person who made him completely uncool.

“Yeah, sweet, I’ll see you around,” You wave, disappearing into the kitchen. Matthew takes a deep breath, collecting his thoughts for a minute until Brady stepped in front of him. His little brother scoffed, a stupid smirk on his face when he finally spoke.

“Dude that was painful to watch.”

***

Matthew had no idea what the fuck he was doing. His feet were just carrying all two hundred and two pounds of his body in the exact direction of your house. He was drunk, well over the limit of how many whiskey shots he could even handle. He looked at his watch, it was almost three in the morning but if he didn’t get it out now when would he ever. He loved you, and all he could think about is what would happen if he could have just had one more night with you. Maybe you’d feel it, you’d always been pretty intuitive with his feelings, because he was awful with them. He had to make his case, did he even have one?

Oh hey Y/N, I know I’m hammered and it’s three in the morning the day before Christmas Eve but I want you to know I’m still in love with you.

That wouldn’t work, and he was going to have to do better than that. He could turn around and go home, but if he had to watch another one of your Instagram stories and pray that whoever was in them wasn’t your boyfriend again - he would lose his mind before he made it to the holidays next year. He snuck past the gate into your yard, not surprised to see your whole house was sleeping quietly. He picked up a few pebbles from your mother’s garden, shaking them in his hand and hoping you remembered the way he let you know he was outside when you’d sneak out in high school.

One.

Two.

Three.

You were woken up by the sound of three pebbles hitting your window, and you rub your eyes in disbelief by what you were hearing. Matthew wasn’t outside your window at three in the morning looking for you, why would he even think about it? 

“What the hell are you doing?” You ask, poking your head out the window and crossing your arms to battle the cool air blowing through.

“Come down?” Matthew asks, wiping his palms on the back of his jeans and giving you his best smile. A real one, because you’d always been able to tell when it was fake.

You should’ve closed the window, and pushed Matthew to the back of your mind until you found yourself creeping on his Instagram again. You were always a good listener, and you always tried to do the right thing but Matthew was your vice. He’d always been a little bit a bad boy, but never enough to stop you from coming back for more. So you opened your window a little more, slipping down and scaling down your house just like you used to.

Matthew could have pretended like he didn’t notice, his last name faded on the back of the hoodie you were wearing, but he couldn’t. You looked just as cute in it as you did all of those years before, “Seven was such a good number on you, I wish I could have kept it.”

You could feel the heat on your cheeks, hoping Matthew couldn’t catch it in the moonlight, “Why are you here?”

“I want one more night,” Matthew takes a deep breath, standing his ground, “I, uh fuck-”

Matthew Tkachuk had never been good with words. He put his foot in his mouth, all the time, but his plea was something you never thought you’d hear. It was Christmas, you were lonely, and a part of you wondered the same thing. So you said fuck it and decided that this was your problem later, pressing your lips to Matthew’s. Your hands gripped his shirt, trying to get as close to him as you could. Matthew was dumbfounded, wrapping his arms around your waist, his fingers digging into your sides.

“Can you be quiet?” You ask, pointing at the back door. It was the middle of the night and your parents room was on the first floor but if Matthew was quiet enough you could get him upstairs easily - you used to do it all the time.

Matthew nodded eagerly, following you inside and tip-toeing up the stairs. He was doing a terrible job, either he’d gotten bigger or the floors in your parents house had gotten creakier.

“You said you could be quiet,” You tease, letting Matthew push you against the door, he twisted the lock, smirking at you.

“I’m a lot bigger than I used to be,” Matthew declares, fake puffing out his chest.

“I noticed…” You muse, running over your hands over his shoulders. He’d gotten broader with age, and it wasn’t something that was lost on you. You press your lips to his, throwing your hands around his neck and pulling him closer. Your fingers crept up to his curls, tugging on them slightly. Matthew smirked against your lips, “I missed that.”

“I missed you,” Matthew mutters, wrapping your legs around his waist to bring you to your bed. You squeal, tucking your head into shoulder to stop the noise, “Who’s the loud one now?”

“Well don’t stop kissing me then,” You tease, grabbing Matthew and pulling him on top of you. You worked quickly, a pile of clothes in the corner of your that was going to be addressed later. Matthew’s lips were on your neck, his finger circling your clit while you bit your lip hold back a moan, “Matty please-”

The nickname slipped your lips so easily it was like you never should have stopped calling him that. Matthew took notice, and it was like music to his ears, “Anything you want babe.”

“Fuck me,” You breathe out, desperate for as much of him as you could get. Matthew slipped out of his boxers, pumping himself a few times before he gave you a look. You nodded, giving him the go ahead and pulling his lips back to yours. Matthew slipped inside you, and it’d never felt better.

Matthew was better now, much much better. His hips were snapping into you, a near perfect pace while grunts left his lips. The pleasure was almost too much, and you could feel your nails scratching into his back while you bit into his shoulder to keep yourself quiet. His hand snaked down to your clit, “Cum for me babe, c’mon.”

You clenched around him, the sensation was enough to send Matthew over the edge, spilling into you. He dropped to his elbows, placing lazy kisses on your skin while you basked in the post sex glow. Matthew’s skin was glistening against the moonlight from your window, his breath in your ear while you caught yours and it all felt right.

“You know you have to go now,” You remind him, “My dad will murder you if he catches you up here.”

“I know,” Matthew bumps his nose against yours, pressing one more kiss to your lips, “I’ll see you tomorrow? Or later?”

Later. It had completely slipped your mind that in just a few hours you were going to be forced to run an annual day before Christmas Eve 5k with the Tkachuk’s like you did every year. The idea was somehow worse than doing it on Thanksgiving, and now you had to see Matthew after you let him fuck you in your childhood bedroom. You watched Matthew dress himself, hopping out your window and back to his own house.

Now you just needed some sleep.

***

You felt like shit, and you were missing the iced coffee you didn’t have a chance to get while you trailed behind your parents to meet the Tkachuk’s. You greeted everyone, stopping at Matthew last, you were unsure of how to even greet him after what you’d just done a few hours before. He didn’t think anything of it, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you into his chest.

“Here,” Matthew says, nudging his cup towards you. You assumed it was coffee, but then the taste of a mimosa hit your tongue.

“Jeez,” You choke, coughing while you take down the champagne with just a hint of orange juice.

“Do you think I was going to run this sober? You wore me out last night,” Matthew teases, and he could feel Brady’s gaze on him.

The wheels in Brady’s head were turning. He was suspicious, catching Matthew sneak back into the house early in the morning, and now watching the two of you - it was clear. It became even clearer when they started running, because Brady knew Matthew wasn’t that slow and he didn’t wasn’t going to let Brady beat him. He was though, jogging behind Brady with you and laughing at whatever you said. There was one thing that was clear, Matthew got over his dumb fear of talking to you and finally did. His brother was happy, but he couldn’t help but feel like he was going to watch this explode in your faces in a few days. Matthew would go back to Calgary and just the first time you broke, it was going to be ugly.

***

The winter in St. Louis was brisk, but Matthew’s warm body next to you was enough to fight it. Your head was on his chest, and you were snoring softly. Matthew picked you up a few hours after you got home, driving up to the same lake you snuck off to in high school. He stole Brady’s truck, driving off with a bunch of blankets without giving Brady an answer as to where he was going. It was supposed to be romantic, but you’d always been prone to falling asleep when you were with him.

Matthew didn’t have a complaint in the world, you slept the same way you used to. Your head on his chest, a leg tangled with his and your hands clutched to his shirt so he couldn’t move. He wasn’t going anywhere. Matthew would let you sleep the entire day away if he could have. He carded his hands through your hair, a content sigh leaving his lips.

Matthew often wondered what would have happened if you never broke up. If you’d followed him to Calgary and what that would have been like. Maybe you’d still be together, and after all these years he’d start looking for a ring. If you’d buy a house together, maybe even be that family that houses wayward hockey players just like his parents did. You’d be the person he got to share looks with across the room when he was forced to have conversations he didn’t want to have. He’d get to take you family skates and you’d get to see him play and you’d live happily ever after.

Reality was always much more cruel, and it wasn't pretty. You had a life in St. Louis, one that didn’t include him. You were moving along in your life just fine without him. You didn’t need Matthew and it was dumb of him to think you’d drop it all for him. You never asked him to stay, and it would be unfair to ask you to wait around.

“I can hear you thinking, you might start to malfunction soon bubs,” You whisper, your voice still laced with sleep. You meant to run a hand through his hair, but the palm of your hand just hit his forehead while you moved it back down slowly. Matthew chuckles, the silly nicknames you gave him seemed to come out without a second thought, and it felt good to be called any of them by you.

“Just thinking about you,” Matthew breathes, and you pick up your head. Matthew shoots you a smile, but you knew he was faking it.

“Matty-” You take one deep breath, “Don’t ask me to come with you, you know it’s not fair to me.”

Your voice was cracking, pleading Matthew to just not have this conversation. You weren’t ready for it, because it meant accepting defeat. The universe wasn’t going to allow you to be together, and that’s just how it was going to be.

“I don’t want to go back to Calgary,” Matthew whispers, more to himself than you. He did want to go back, but he wanted to go back with you.

“You have to,” You sit up, a chill running through your body from the loss of Matthew’s body next to yours. You rub your arms to warm up, “You have to because we’re just not going to make it work Matty.”

Matthew nods solemnly, like his heart just broke all over again. You were right, you always were, it just seemed naïve to think you’d both be any different now than you were the first time, “Let me take you home.”

The car ride was awkward. The only thing cutting through the silence was the Christmas music playing on the radio. You sat with your head pressed against the window, counting down the streets until you finally hit yours. Matthew halted the car, and you gave him one more look before you stepped out of the car, “Tell your parents I said Merry Christmas.”

“I will,” Matthew nods, and those were the last words you heard him say before you walked up your stairs. Matthew waited for you to be inside before he drove off, a small part of him hoping you’d run back to the car and tell him you wanted him too. You didn’t, and that was just how it was going to be.

***

Christmas was awful, the past two days seemed to pass were pure agony. You were sad, and knowing Matthew was about three blocks and four houses away wasn’t helping. You were counting down the hours until he was back in Calgary, away from you and you could finally grieve him for the final time. The last nail in the coffin of what was once your first love had yet to be hammered in but once he was gone that would settle it.

You had two more hours until you knew his flight would leave, and you were so close to the finish line you could taste it. You were home alone, your parents still making their way to a few neighbors' houses to spend the last few moments of the holiday with their friends. You were sulking, a wine bottle stolen from your mother’s collection and the Grinch on your TV. 

A doorbell was the only thing to interrupt you, and you could see a tuft of curly hair through the window. Matthew was standing outside your door, pacing back and forth while he waited for you to open it. You thought about acting like you weren’t home, maybe he’d leave and never come back. You opened it, not even having a chance to open your mouth before he spoke.

“Come with me,” Matthew pleads, “I love you, I still do and I always have and we’re meant to be together. There isn’t anyone I want more by my side than you, and I know it’ll be hard but I’m not ready to let you slip through my fingers again.”

“Matthew-” You interrupt grabbing his arm to stop his pacing, “Listen to yourself.”

“I am, and I want this, I never wanted to give up you and I just can’t fly back there with people who don’t know when I’m faking a smile or when I don’t want to be somewhere,” Matthew explains, running a hand over his face, “You’re the best I’ll ever have and I want to spend the rest of my life proving that to you.”

“I’ll come until New Year’s,” You agree, Matthew’s face breaking out into a very real smile, “We need to talk about this Matthew.”

“You talk, I’ll listen, you can have whatever you want,” Matthew agrees, because he’d move the sun if he could for you. His lips pressed against yours, pushing you against the same front door he kissed you in front of on your first date. The porch light still flickers the way it used to while Matthew’s hands gripped your face because he was afraid to let you go. You both finally pulled, Matthew mumbling his next words against your lips.

Tis the damn season huh?

[astaroth1357]

Demon Brothers Meeting the MC’s Family

I mean, if they have any family at all, what could they even tell them anyway? “Sorry Mom, still in Hell so I won’t make Thanksgiving but I’m doing great though!” This is another long one folks, but I lowkey kind of love it a whole lot. Sooo fun to write. One of my favorite posts so far.

Lucifer

Thinks it's a little weird that they’re so adamant to introduce their family to a literal demon but also kinda gets it. Family is the most important thing to him too.

Is very focused on making a good first impression, from image to attitude. Their approval isn’t going to do jack to stop him from being with the MC but he’d still take pride in being able to charm them for a night. Besides, if the MC cares then so does he.

Has more experience with the human world than the others so he’d know a lot of the do’s and don'ts already. They won’t need to worry about him making some kind of slip up.

Would love the irony if the MC’s family is religious at all. Christian/Jewish especially. May or may not play along with their little rituals but is going to make a lot of thinly veiled, passive-aggressive comments towards his "old man."

Would be most comfortable in a setting where there’s a lot of intellectual discussion or debate. He loves to steer a conversation down towards politics or other controversial things to get a rise out of people. The MC may need to reign him in if that’s a big no-go zone.

Isn’t really going to get along with any younger siblings the MC might have. Either he’s too stiff or too scary. If they’re looking for a playmate, look somewhere else.

Also not going to be particularly fond of any pets they have one way or another. Though he may take a shine to pitbulls or rottweilers because they remind him of Cerberus.

Mammon

You sure about this, MC? Him? Really? Are you really sure? He’s going to think they're crazy but he’s not going to refuse.

Will be so freaking excited if they’re from a well-to-do or, dare say, rich family. So much stuff to steal admire. Yeah, yeah no stealing from the MC’s family, he gets it... He’ll really try his best but it might be good to keep an eye on him.

Surprisingly though, he’s not going to be disgusted if they’re from a poor family either because the dude gets it. Money is hard to come by and things can be tough. He might even… pay... for some stuff while he’s there... You know, if he can. Don’t make a big deal out of it… He's got an image to keep.

He’ll try his best to not come off like a total scumbag and it may actually work. He’s rough around the edges but there’s plenty of chances for his better side to shine through as long as he stays on good behavior. 

They will have to be sure that he doesn’t get to talking too much because his dumbass will let it slip that he’s a demon. 

Mammon may not love kids but kids love him and any younger siblings are going to do the same. Even if he calls them little gremlins, he’ll let himself get roped into whatever game they’re playing and make it a lot of fun in the process.

Bring on the pets! He’s more of a dog person but he’ll play with a cat too. He may not be as animal-obsessed as Satan but he loves a good furry companion every once in a while.

Leviathan 

NOOOOO and you can’t make him!!! A social event involving strangers where he has to make a good impression?? Fuck no, that sounds like actual hell and he doesn’t want anything to do with it!

… But he also can’t just let the MC go back to the human world alone because what if they meet someone better than him and get reminded that they’re with a good-for-nothing otaku…? Okay he's going. But he’s going to pout about it.

His first impression is going to make him come off like a nervous wreck no matter what. There’s really no polishing this bundle of anxiety. The best he can hope for is to ride this thing out until it's done.

Will be pretty quiet and cling to the MC like a life-raft the entire night. Refuses to be left alone with their family in any capacity, he could not handle the awkward silence. If they’re going to the bathroom, then he’s going too damnit.

If they have a pretty nerdy family then he might be a bit more comfortable. Especially if any of their siblings/parents game or are into anime. Steering conversation more towards his comfort zones will help him out a lot...

If they have little siblings who play a lot of video games then he is going to be the coolest person in the world. Period. He knows all the best strategies to practically any game out there, demonic or human. He may even loosen up a little bit and start smiling if he gets to wow an audience with his gaming prowess!

Like Lucifer he’s not going to be all that impressed with pets either way. He’ll think fish are pretty neat and probably even reptiles too but don’t expect him to get too cuddly with a dog or anything.

Satan

Doesn’t hate the idea but agrees that his name is going to have to change if they’re really serious about it. “Hey everybody this is my boyfriend, Satan!” is only going to be appealing to very niche circles...

Like Lucifer, he's going to be mindful of how he comes across. He'd rather the MC's family likes him than didn't, even if it's irrelevant, so expect him to be very polite and sociable. Damn near the perfect gentleman.

… Until something/someone sets off his temper. He may not go full Wrath on the situation but it's probably best to get him out of the room real quick so he can cool down.

Would love if the MC comes from an super educated family but it’s not a must. He's the kind of guy who will ask a lot of questions about any person's profession/skills and how things work regardless of background. He's curious that way.

Either way, he is going to show off his smarts and make sure that their family knows where his intellect is at. He wants them to know that the MC picked someone with a good head on their shoulders, after all.

Best keep him away from small children and bratty teens. He isn't exactly opposed to kids, but it takes one little shit to set him off and NO ONE looks good yelling at someone else's kid. Deserved or not.

Will there be cats? Do you have a cat? Please say you have a cat! He's okay with dogs too but if the MC has a cat this man will be ecstatic. The cat will love him and he will love it right back. Honestly, he's already adopted it. It's his now. Who's MC?

Asmodeus

Baby, you can take him anywhere and he’ll be the life of the party! A little family gathering doesn’t matter to him.

Is going to make sure that the moment he walks through the door the MC's family is in awe of what a catch they've got for themselves. He wants them to be proud of their little MC! To him, that translates to looking good and being fun!

Hope this is a house used to physical affection because he will not (and probably cannot) turn it off. Everyone gets hugs. Everyone.

Extra affectionate the whole night. He'll hold the MC's hand or arm or waist or really any part he can get away with. Kisses on the head and cheek aplenty. He may also lowkey butter up their parents with loads of compliments no matter what situation they're in.

If he's told to cool it on the touching though, he may get offended.

Is going to be better with teenage siblings than little, little ones. The man lives to give dating advice, fashion tips, or makeovers, you name it. Though he has to be careful to mention just human products and not some of the stuff he has back home.

Animal fur on his clothes? After he dressed himself so carefully?? No thanks. You can have your cute puppy or your little kitty. He'll take pictures, but he's probably not going pet much.

Beelzebub

Is honestly kind of honored by the suggestion. The MC is already a part of his family so it only seems natural to make him part of theirs. Though he has some reservations, mostly around his appetite...

He doesn't go up to the human world very much because it's really hard for him to stay fed. He's well-known enough in the Devildom that restaurants know what to expect when he walks in. Not so much up there.

Arrange the meeting around a state fair, festival, or carnival where the food is plentiful and he's golden. Hopefully their family won't be too disturbed by how bottomless his stomach is…

Beel is a sweetheart through and through but his lack of knowledge about how the human world, or humans in general, work might come back to bite him. He may need a little 101 about human manners before going.

Truthfully, their family is in for a real treat! This giant may look intimidating, but he's as gentle as they come. The kind of guy who will carry their grandmother’s bags with a smile on his face just for the sake of being helpful. 10/10 Sweetie, mother will approve.

Ooooh little kids are going to love Beel. He'll let their siblings hang off of him like a jungle gym. Will also play games with them if they want him to. Doesn't matter to him, their family is his family too and he wants to see them all happy.

Man wants dogs. Preferably big ones that he can rough-house with but little dogs he can cuddle work too. Do remind him that he can't just rip a whole-ass branch off a tree to play fetch like you could with Cerberus.

Belphegor

Really? You want that? Lol, okay but no promises. This is pretty much the equivalent of sticking two unlabeled chemicals together in a beaker and leaning in to see what happens. Who knows, but now you're stuck in the middle of it.

He's not going to try especially hard to make a good impression or change himself in any way. If their family is into people who are kind of chill and sarcastic then he'll get along swimmingly. If they were expecting more of a Satan type, yeah. No. He's not holding open any doors.

Won't be taking the whole thing all that seriously to be honest, like, what are a bunch of humans going to do if they don’t like him? Tell MC? They're certainly not going to be able to make him leave. He's humoring them at best, even if he's nice, so why bother fussing about it?

Might be a disrespectful little troll at times like pretending to fall asleep or making casual jokes like "Oh no, ma'am. I'm not all that comfortable with that cross over there because I'm a demon. …. Got ya, didn’t I? That'd be silly." *shit-eating grin*

Would appreciate a quiet, slightly introverted family the most. He's going to start getting annoyed if people in the house are too loud and may speed the whole thing along as a result.

Kids are things he'd rather avoid than have to interact with, but if pressed he will humor the little ones too. Don't expect him to do a whole lot of moving, though. If they're happy to just show him things that he can semi-pay attention to, that works for him.

MC has a pet? Is it fluffy? Is it lazy? Bring'em here. Like Beel, he likes big dogs but would rather just bury his face in fluff than try to wrestle it. He may actually fall asleep with them if they lay still enough for it.

[bomberqueen17]

make art or die

it’s a gloomy wednesday-- actually i just went and looked, and i think it’s actually sunny out today but since i cannot see the sky from anywhere within my workplace, i’m just assigning gloom to the day so i feel less shitty about that--

and this morning i was struck with this sudden like all-over-my-body feeling that if I don’t make some fucking art I’m going to fucking die

I’ve got two hours of work left before I can act on that so maybe I will, this evening.

Unrelatedly, but in another contribution to the current all-consuming malaise that’s either anxiety or I chronically have to poop, my older sister emailed the family cheerfully and was like “unfortunately, on no notice, i am irrevocably fucking up all family holiday plans, now and for the future!” only she said it like, cheerfully and without any apparent real regret.

The part that absolutely fucked me up is how she was like “but we can do Christmas together next year!” which like

that is not how this works, oh my god, this is not how any of this works, i have a very strict every-other-year thing with Dude’s family, and there is no amount of notice in the world that is going to make it work out for me to just switch years, this is-- Dude’s mom flies to California on alternate years, and this is a California year, and next year we’re with her and the other grandparents of that nephew fly in from Texas, this is how it has worked for at least twelve years now, there are so many people reliant on this that I simply can’t even begin to ask to change.

This is entirely because Older Sister’s mother-in-law cancelled her turn at Christmas one year for a sick dog, which like, that’s a bummer, but you can’t just swap in next year, you are not the only person, but she’s been giving Sister hell about it ever since, and-- anyway I discussed this in exhaustive detail with that brother-in-law last month while he was helping build the cabin, and anyway I said flat out in those exact words “i cannot change which holidays I spend where, it’s not something I have any degree of flexibility on whatsoever”

and Older Sister was cheerfully like “and maybe we can hang out for New Year’s!” and

i have an elderly cat, who needs twice-daily medication. Dude’s mom is the only person we can have cat-sit. If she is in California (which she is this year, that’s why it’s a Home Christmas instead of an Away Christmas) then she cannot do that, so we have to board the cat. The boarding place can’t reliably get her to eat her medicine. So we can’t really leave her very long; a week is the longest I’d be comfortable with.

I cannot spend Christmas at mom’s and then New Year’s at Sister’s.

It is one OR the other.

If we are doing new traditions and it’s New Year’s now, well I would really have liked to be consulted about that, I have a lot of considerations I’m going to have to factor in, and also I had already kind of made this year’s plans, it is mid-November already. (Sister had opened the email with “ah but we’re coming up for Thanksgiving!” which like. [that’s the fine grains of the thing, whichever family isn’t getting christmas gets thanksgiving.] Dude’s mother has already purchased food and set a menu because Thanksgiving is effectively given travel constraints next fucking week.)

I texted Mom about this, trying not to be dramatic, and Mom was like “did older sister not contact you first?!?! she said she was going to!!!”

No, Mom, she did not.

Anyway I spent all last Christmas periodically going and hiding in my mother-not-law’s bathroom to cry, because Dad had died suddenly four days beforehand and my mother had told me not to come home, so I did not get to see him before they cremated him and I did not get to see the family until later in that week so I spent the week of Christmas crying alone at home, and I spent a lot of the times I was hiding in the bathroom on Christmas thinking about how at least next year we’d get to do that difficult first Christmas together, and so anyway. Maybe my response to this is disproportionate but I argue it’s somewhat warranted, maybe?

I sent an email saying the quiet part loud and said I’d have to see what I could shuffle to attempt to accommodate this, and that at least since I don’t have kids it’s only me that’s getting let down, because YOU KNOW that is why everyone is going to think it’s fine to jerk me around, you just KNOW that’s what it’s about.

Anyway I cried in the work bathroom about it just now, what are you gonna do. This year’s theme is apparently crying in bathrooms.

(I was trying to send a calm, professional message about it and then get on with my life but Mom responded and it destroyed whatever composure I had about ti so guess what we’re just gonna Feel Bad today, and Older Sister likely won’t look at her phone until after I’ve gone to bed because that’s how her schedule has been lately and I feel for her, I do, but also, I could punch her.)

I don’t know how people with real problems survive them, I tell you what.

[beautiful-songbird]

The Strings of My Heart [26] - Planning for the Future

← Chapter 25 | Chapter 27 →

Pairing: Zoro x Jupiter

Genre: fluff, angst, f2l

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: idk anymore dude. I'm so used to having serious tags for this that it's weird to have none.

Summary: Zoro’s moved to sunny California for college to escape from the life of fame for a little while. But when he loses his violin case in the second week of school, he’s sure his college experience has just gone up in flames. What will he do when, despite all odds, his case is returned to him?

“Jupiter, stop fretting about the kids.  You know Elora can handle them for four days,” Zoro told her as she paced around her room.

“I know.  I know.  I’m just…this is the first time I’ve left in eight months.”

Upon Luna’s insistence, Jupiter had decided to take four days off to head to California for the wedding.  It wasn’t a long time, and she knew the kids would be fine, but she was still a bit worried.  Maybe it was the added toll of knowing she wouldn’t have Zoro for the month after she came back.  He’d been her anchor the past couple months, and now she’d have to make sure everyone got to and came home from school intact by herself.  And then she’d have to figure out dinner.  And on top of that, Zoro wouldn’t even be living with them anymore when he came back.  How on earth was she supposed to survive?

“Jupiter, I think you need to sit down.”

She plopped down onto her bed at those words, eyes wide in her head as she considered everything the future had to hold.

“What’s wrong?”

She glanced up at Zoro. “Uh…I…I’m worried about how I’ll handle things when you’re not here.  I mean, my mom is home, but….”

“You know you can ask Elora for help, right?  She’s not working a job right now, and she was always planning to work through the rest of the year if we needed her.”

“I…I don’t want to bother her.”

“But you need to, Jupiter.  If you don’t think you can handle everything by yourself, you need to ask for help.”

Jupiter rolled the hem of her shirt between her fingers, considering her next words. “I don’t want you to move out, Zoro.”

He smiled. “I know you don’t.”

“No.  Not…just because I’ll miss you at night.  I need you, Zoro.  We all do.”

He hesitated. “Jupiter….”

“If you need your own space, that’s fine.  Don’t let me talk you out of moving out if that’s what you want to do.  I just think it’s going to be hard without you in the mornings.”

“I’ll be three minutes away.  It will barely be any different from now, I promise.  And if we ever decide that it’s not right, I can move back in.  I can stay the night occasionally if you need me.  I’m not leaving you at all.  You’ll still have my help.”

She nodded slowly. “You’d move back in?”

“Of course!  I’m moving out because I think you and I both need a little bit more space right now.  This room is not nearly big enough for the two of us.  If we both decide that I need to move back in, I can at any time.”

“You sure?”

“Of course, Jupiter.  I’m here for you.  I’m going to do things based on how good it is for you and the kids, because that’s the whole reason I’m here.  Please don’t be worried.”

“Ok….”

“Now, we both need to pack.  We have a flight to catch in the morning.”

◇◆◇◆◇

Jupiter found joy in walking hand-in-hand through the airport with Zoro.  It had been a year since the two of them had flown together, and Jupiter hadn’t realized how much she’d missed it.

She noticed that Zoro seemed calmer than he had the last time he’d been at this airport.  She recalled him shaking last August when the two of them had said goodbye, but she hadn’t said anything to him then.  Now, he was rather happy.  This made her happy too, no matter how she knew she’d miss him over the next month.

“Are you excited to see your family?” Jupiter asked as the two of them ate lunch in the airport.

“Very.  I haven’t seen any of them since Thanksgiving.  I’m excited to finally meet Rosella, especially.  What about you?”

“I’ve missed your family,” Jupiter admitted. “It feels like forever ago since I saw all of them.”

“Well, you saw them about nine months ago, so it was quite a while ago.  I know what it really is, though.  You miss Grammy’s pies.”

Jupiter raised her hands. “Guilty.”

“She’ll probably send you back with some stuff for the kids, honestly.”

“Oh, I’m sure she will.  Stella was mad that she didn’t get to come with us, so she’ll be happy to get something.”

“You should’ve told me!” Zoro gasped. “I’m sure Luna wouldn’t have minded her coming.”

Jupiter shook her head. “It’s ok.  She can come out with us another time.  I really want her at home right now with everyone else just to ensure there’s no issues.”

He nodded. “I understand.  I’m hoping Grammy and Grandpa will agree to come visit us one of these days, honestly.  I really want them to meet everyone, and flying with the littles right now seems…scary.”

She laughed. “Maybe in a few years.  I’d be more worried about keeping the boys in check than anything.”

“Yeah.  I’m glad you came with me, though.  We can pretend we’re still in university taking a break from work while we’re there.”

“Do you miss university that much?”

He shook his head. “We just have a lot of good memories there.  We have plenty at home too, of course, but there’s just something special about the memories we made there.”

“Well, we were young and free.  Now we have eight kids to take care of.”

He grimaced. “The way you said that makes it sound like university was far longer ago than it really was.”

“I haven’t been there for a year, so it was a long time ago for me.  Some days, I wish I could go back.  It was far easier than running a company is.”

“You enjoy your job though, right?”

She nodded. “Of course!  I love my job.  My coworkers are great, and I love what I do.  There’s just some days that it’s draining.”

“Yeah, but wasn’t university like that too?  There were some days that I wanted to just rip my textbooks to shreds.”

She laughed. “Ok, you’re right.  I had those days in university too.”

He pulled his phone out. “We should probably find our gate.  We have forty minutes until the flight.”

◇◆◇◆◇

The two of them were driving through Southern California eight hours later.  Though it would be eight back home, it was merely five in the afternoon where they were now.  Zoro had turned on the radio in their rental car, and some slow blues music was playing through the car.

“See?  Just like university.  Remember when your roommate played the blues to study because it helped her focus?”

Jupiter groaned. “Don’t remind me!  Those were some of the worst hours of my life!”

She was quick to change the radio station, unexpectedly turning on some loud rap.  Zoro hit the volume button, and the car was silent.

“Maybe we just shouldn’t turn on the radio at all.”

“You’re right.  What we should do is look for the nearest In-N-Out and binge while we’re here.”

Zoro grinned. “I like the way you think.”

There were quite a few places for them to stop, but they stopped just outside of San Diego anyways because of how hungry they both were.  Dinner back home would’ve been nearly an hour ago if not two.

“This reminds me of last time we went to Temecula,” Jupiter smiled before taking a massive bite of her burger.

“You mean the time you denied me a sip of your shake?”

“Ah!  Not true!  I gave you a sip!  I just said you couldn’t have any more after that one!”

He hid his smiled behind a sip of soda.

“Anything you’d like to do while we’re here?”

“Well, not here.  I think we should go see our old apartment while we’re in LA this Sunday, though.”

“Should we?”

She nodded. “I wonder if Rain still lives there.”

“Rain?”

“She’s the girl I met the night you left for Korea.  They had some…pool party with a bunch of students from USC that lived in the building.”

“Ah,” he chuckled. “Socializing without me?”

She nodded. “Of course.  I thought you hated socializing?”

“Oh, I do.”

She laughed, going to take another bite of her burger.  Then she paused. “Do you think Grammy is going to be upset that we ate here instead of with them?”

He shook his head. “Are you kidding?  They’re probably eating right now already.  I told her that we’d be getting something on the way, because I assumed we’d both be starving by the time we landed and actually got our car.”

“That’s true.  I still can’t believe you found a place that would rent us a car, though.”

He shrugged. “It wasn’t hard.  There’s lots of places that will rent to 20-year-olds here, it was just…more money.  Which we have, so I don’t mind.”

Jupiter nodded. “Well, I guess that’s good to know for future reference if we need it.”

◇◆◇◆◇

The two of them decided to stop to see Luna and her family before heading to Grammy and Grandpa’s for the night, considering that it was barely out of their way to Temecula.  Oliver, as always, greeted them at the door with a kind of excitement only a ten-year-old could have.

“Zorooooooooooooooooooooo!  You have to come play video games with me every day while you’re here!”

Zoro chuckled. “I’m not so sure about that, buddy.  I’m leaving Sunday morning.”

Oliver let out an exasperated sigh. “Only through Sunday?  That’s so close!”

Zoro nodded. “Sorry.  You know I’m only here for your sister’s wedding, though.”

“Hey, how about you let them inside instead of leaving the door hanging wide open?” Leah yelled from the kitchen. “You’re going to let bugs inside!”

Oliver grumbled before waving Zoro and Jupiter inside.

“Luna’s up in the nursery.”

The couple headed upstairs at these words, and it wasn’t too hard to find the nursery despite the vast number of rooms in the house.  Luna was sitting in a rocking chair with her daughter nestled against her chest when they walked in.

“Hey guys!” she said quietly when she saw the two of them. “Rose is asleep right now.”

“I can see that,” Jupiter laughed.  She bent over the chair to get a good look at the tiny girl. “She’s adorable.”

“Goodness, she looks a lot like Noah did,” Zoro gasped.

“I know, right?” Luna giggled. “She’s a lot paler than he was, though.  She has quite a bit more of my coloring than he did.”

“She’s got blue eyes too, then?”

Luna nodded. “That gene has barely escaped any of us, it seems.  Even you and Ara got it.”

“Well, there weren’t too many of us for it to miss.  There’s only eleven of us who could’ve gotten that gene if you count all three generations.”

Luna laughed. “True.  Eight of us got it, though.”

Jupiter poked Zoro’s arm. “Are we going to even out the playing field, or will we contribute to that?”

He chuckled. “We’ll have to see.  Andi’s your only sibling with blue eyes, right?”

Jupiter nodded. “My dad’s genes weren’t very strong in comparison to my mom’s, it seems.” Then she cleared her throat. “Luna, is your mom going to hold her during the wedding?”

“I’m not sure yet.  Grammy offered to do it.  Are you offering as well?”

“Well, it’s not every day I get to hold a baby.”

“Really?  I thought you youngest sister was a baby.”

Jupiter hummed. “My mom is almost always holding her.  I didn’t really get to hold any of my siblings as babies unless I was being forced to watch them.”

“I suppose I’ll have to let you be the one to hold her, then.  Grammy and Mom get to see her all the time.  Who knows when I’ll see you next.”

Zoro nudged Luna’s shoulder. “You might just see us soon if we get married.”

Luna glanced up at the two of them. “Oh?  Are you engaged?”

“Not yet…” Jupiter laughed. “But we’re getting there.”

“Are you now?  Guess I’ll just have to wait and see, then?”

“Right,” Zoro nodded. “I’m sure you’ll know as soon as Hyeon knows.”

Chapter 27 →

This is part of the Dad!BTS series that can be found here

Series M.list

A/N: I’m so excited that the plot line is finally moving along :3 I can finally get to all the other stuff I have planned now

It would be greatly appreciated if you reblogged the story if you liked it!

Taglist: @jiminie-and-his-pinky-finger @jinnie-forthe-winnie

[elizabethplaid]

Thankful and stuffed - daily notes, Nov 6, 2022

- Woke up to a call from the town clerk. Library-Lady-J cannot work the election polls as planned, because she’s been exposed to covid. (She and I both had it earlier this year.) So I was asked to do her job - checking people in to vote, for 12 hours, all day.

-- I’m excited, but I’m gonna prepare to have mild burn-out by the end of the day. I’ll bring my laptop and headphones, so I can sit quietly with music.

-- I get paid for my time, and there’s enough time before my next library day, so it’ll be worth it.

- Friends-giving was today. Neighbor-J and -S have an extra Thanksgiving dinner, to accomodate their extended families’ schedules. Dad and I have been going for 8ish years now. Food was better than usual, including desserts. I’m very stuffed. Needed a nap when I got home. :D

-- Met some “new” (to me) neighbors, who have kids the same age as J+S’s kids.  They both were really sweet and enjoyed talking about tattoos with me.

-- The husband of this family looks slightly like Patrick Dempsey. His eyes were beautiful and intense, so eye-contact was extra tough for me. He also reminded me of my high school bully’s appearance, so I’m concerned about potential dreams.

-- The dude I had a crush on years ago got married and brought his wife. Just as well that it didn’t work out. He runs at a different speed than me. I’m glad he’s accomplished so much since I last saw him.