#like it’s literally fine and not a huge deal but also…..can u not.
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also relevant to my last rb but tbh don’t post literal numerical ratings of fics on your fic rec blog either. like. i also have a tumblr account and can see your post when you put the fic title and my fucking name. i don’t care if you didn’t think my fic was groundbreaking or w/e but if you’re saying hey welcome to my rec blog this fic by eurydicees was a 7.5! i think i should have the right to be a little upset with you
#actual posts i have seen about me!#i did not ask to be reviewed by you! i do not care for you critique! i didn’t ask for it! if i wanted to workshop a fic i would say so!#like why are you as a rec blog telling people to read my fic that’s a 7.5 out of 10 stars.#tbh i think about that post a lot. probably every time i publish sakuatsu. god. whatever.#like it’s literally fine and not a huge deal but also…..can u not.
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➛ K I L L A
paring: killer!bsf!billie x reader
warnings: smut, mentions of blood (duh), kiddnaping, cheating, mesionary, doggy, billie calls r names (slut, like a few times), mean billie, mentions of alchool, kind of angst(?), strap-on sex, fingering, r has a bf, smut written by a minor. i think that's it, please comment if you find any more! ty
wc: 4,413
SYNOPSIS: billie kills, billie heals.
taglist: @chrissv4mp, @billiesguitar, @ilovebillieeilish2000, @d14n4ol, @raspberrymacaroon if your not a part of this list but want to be comment under my tag list post, which is on my masterlist.
an: so sorry this took so long, i had exams and was also busy irl with things, after finishing i feel so fucking tired and literally everything discusts me idk what tf is wrong with me.
he was sweet at first. you swore it. he was the type to give you flowers everyday. and used to send you good morning and goodnight texts everyday. until he didn’t. you don’t know when you detected that change in him. you don’t know if he just decided to be cruel one day.
he doesn’t even hit you. is what he says. it’s true. he doesn’t. but what he does do, is manipulate and completely destroy your ego with just words.
like when he pointed out that it looked like you were gaining wight. he didn’t even have to tell you. you were like his trained dog. his trophy wife—girlfriend. like you had no use beyond your looks.
he’d always let his “friends” touch you, always try to impress them with you. point out that you were his pretty, submissive, pet girlfriend. most of them were ugly too.
was what billie says. she said that you should leave the asshole or maybe break into his house kill him in his sleep. she suggested doing it, but you always laughed it off. saying he treats you completely fine.
she always came over at your house when she knew he was there. intruding on your weekly dates and sitting on your couch like it was hers. he’d always glare at her. and you understood she could be a little infuriating sometimes and a little possessive but if henry wanted you, then he’d have to deal with your best friend too.
you met billie in 3rd grade. when you were small and new to the huge school. she approached you, and asked you to play with her in recces. you had so much in common. she loved to run, and you loved to run…
you were good together. you balanced each other out.
but she scares you sometimes—considering she has a gun, she’d always pretend to be dead. but you were immune to her little pranks now. she did them too often. you were too used to them.
you went to the bar just to get a drink or two. to get a break from your annoying boyfriend and equally annoying best friend, you loved her. really, you did. but she tires you out.
until you saw an incredibly hot boy walk toward you.
“hey,” he said, with a pretty smile, he was beautiful, you knew boys weren’t supposed to be beautiful, but he was.
“hi,” you said back, slightly looking up at him, tall too.
“think i can buy you a drink?”
you bit your lip, didn’t even think about henry, didn’t even think about your boyfriend.
you nodded, “i’m quinn, and you are..?” he asked, waiting for you to say your name.
“y/n.” you answered.
he was sweet and polite—talked with you a little to see if you were interested, not the intrusive, even-if-you-say-no-i-still-wanna-annoy-you type. told you he could drive you home, even asked for your number
you listened. found yourself in his jacked up car. didn’t even question why it smelled so awful in there (billie’s pranks made you not even question it). or why he had a shady duffle bag in his back seat.
“you want some water?” he asked you, driving away from the bar, and to the main road.
“yeah,” you nodded, taking a few sips and recapped it, placing it in the cup holder in the dashboard, “thank you.” you mumbled.
“you’re welcome.”
you don’t know exactly when you blacked out. it happened all at once almost. his hands on your body tying you to a wooden chair. when you woke up you were in a big warehouse. drowsy, quinn. on your phone, scrolling.
“what?” you say, looking up, and looking around. trying to find out why you were tied to a chair. when your gaze fell on him.
“your awake.” he smiled, “i think i used too much powder.” what the fuck?“you slept for too long.”
how. how the hell. did you get kidnapped. it was infuriating. all you wanted was to relax and have a drink. but you get into even more annoying bullshit.
he stayed on your phone for at least 30 minutes, or at least that’s how much it felt like. quinn groaned, massaging his temples and looking up at you.
“you got a charger?” he said, and you shake your head. which made him sigh even louder.
it took a while but he found a charger in his duffle bag. found a plug and sat down on the dirty floors continuing to scroll through your phone. also a creep. why was everyone you were remotely attracted to either 34 years old or a complete weirdo?
you heard the warehouse door creek, and see a dark figure creep inside. wearing all black clothes and—they were walking towards you.
they were in front of you now, looking up, you say a black mask and sunglasses with the hood of the hoodie covering almost everything. you wondered how he(?) could see.
you let out a small “mhph” and the figure tilted it’s head, going behind you and waiting for quinn to notice. he didn’t. so he hit the corner of the wooden chair, emitting a loud “THUMP” through out the large warehouse.
quinn finally looked behind him. “hey— uh, are you..?” he stood up, probably thinking the figure was also a killer? kidnapper? whatever. maybe he was his sidekick or something. you didn’t know. all you knew was that the person behind you had a knife. and it was currently on your neck.
“hey! whoaa, calm down dude. you don’t need to do that. we’re friends right?” for a kidnapper, he was pathetic. really fucking pathetic.
you couldn’t see behind you, but considering quinn’s smile, it was good. “yeah! yeah.. your nodding so we’re friends. we’re friends.” he repeated. seeing the man? woman? person? you didn’t know, walk towards him, with the knife hanging off his right hand.
you never would’ve seen it coming. all you saw was blood splattering across the walls and dripping onto the floors. you wanted to scream. but you closed your eyes instead. the scene of the knife slitting quinn’s throat. how he tried dropped to the floor and coughed blood.
the scene kept repeating in your brain and you saw it when you closed your eyes. you finally open your eyes. and saw the figure walking towards you, dropping the bloody knife to the floor and bending to your eye level.
it was sort of intimate. how his bloody gloved hands removed your gag. you breathed through your mouth for a while. swallowing and licking your dry lips. “thank you.” you mumble-whisper, he was untying you now and you didn’t know whether to be scared of him, or thankful that he just killed your kidnapper.
he untied you, took your hand and walked towards the seemingly dead body of quinn. there was a body of blood around him, he bent down and took the car keys from quinn’s dead body.
you felt safe. it was scary because you felt safe. a killer was holding your hand and leading you to a car and you felt safe.
he opened the door to quinn’s car. and you realized that he hasn’t spoken a word ever since he walked into the doors of that warehouse.
you didn’t know what to say. all you wanted to do was go home. or go to billie. anywhere that’s not here.
his driving was that to billie’s. you didn’t notice, maybe you did, your was brain too messy to think logically. of why you were in a killer’s car, and why you felt safe.
you arrived at the nearest building. a gas station. just staring at the gas station. did he expect you to get off? you couldn’t. your knees were too weak. so you just stared at him. and he stared at you. just holding the wheel and looking out his side of the window, waiting for you to leave. like he’d done his part or something.
“what?” you said dryly, “i’ll go— just gimme a little.” you sigh, and lay back on the seat. you could hear him sigh too. he bucked his hips and slid half way down the seat. just like billie did.
you both breathed for a while. until you gained the courage to leave. he drove off the second you got out. you walked to the gas station. there were 2 other cars behind you and you had blood on your cheeks.
the bell ringed at your entrance. and the part-timer didn’t spare a glance at you. you felt small. you kind of wanted to be small, you wanted to be like, six or something.
“um—” you wanted to go home. all you could think of was home, home, home and billie.
“what.” she said, still not looking up from her phone. you wanted her to see you. thinking your appearance would explain your situation without you having to move your mouth.
she sighed, and looked up. closing her phone and looking. her eyes skimmed past your skirt and hoodie and stared at your face.
she helped. gave you her phone so you could call someone to pick you up and you called billie. you knew if you called your henry he’d take two hours to get here. she helped clean up your bloody face and you finally talked.
“i ran away.” you explained, and kathryn listened intently, “i— i um—” you stutter, and she rubbed your arms reassuringly, you were struggling to find a good excuse, you couldn’t. so you told her the half-truth.
billie came to pick you up in record time, it took her 25 minutes. which was fast because the ride to here would take at least 33 minutes. probably sped up.
billie was concerned when she came, she hugged you tightly when you got out the station, mumbling “thank fuck your safe.” and “i don’t know what i’d do without you.” it was the first time you’ve seen her so scared. she wasn’t the type to panic, if she did she would hide it.
you were still shook. your back was stiff and your usual laid back position in her car turned all polite with your hands on your lap and your head towards the window. whenever billie asked something you’d reply dryly, you felt bad but what did she expect?
at first she wanted to take you home. to your own house that you own. but you couldn’t stay alone after that. it was too traumatizing. so she drove you to her house.
when you entered your nose was filled with billie. her musky cologne and her.
she took you to her room, and it was a mess. you didn’t care though, collapsed onto her queen sized bed. and tried to not pay attention to the smell, it reminded you of his car. the water, the bag. everything reminded you of him.
“do you wanna change?” she asked, and you nodded. looking around her room like it was the first time you’ve seen it.
she was holding the clothes now, expecting you to get up and wear them. you didn’t. just stared up at her.
“come on,” she mumbled, taking your arm and helping you get up. you didn’t know what happened, maybe your brain finally processed the entire situation. maybe you expecting felt safe enough to just cry. you did, you felt tears welling up in your eyes when billie tried taking your shirt off, you cried in her arms and she held you.
you let out small whimpers and hiccups of her name and while trying to calm you down she put your head on her shoulder, turning your head you saw a pile of black clothes in the corner, probably thrown in a hurry. ignoring it, you dig your head in her neck and breathe her in. her scent calmed you down.
its been 3 minutes now and billie has been rubbing you back and kissing your shoulders the whole time.
all you wanted to do was curl up in her lap and not think. you just wanted to not think for once. maybe she could run her hands through your hair while doing it. you didn’t have to ask. she took you to lay your head on her lap. and your heart ached with something you’ve never felt before, something indescribable and immensely painful. you curled up, half in her lap, half in your own, in desperate need of comfort from someone other than him yourself. for a moment, her gentle touch helped you forget.
it was peaceful. it was so damn peaceful and you wanted to cry because you’ve never felt so safe before. your knees hurt. and the way your legs were positioned on her lap actually hurt. but you couldn’t get away. you couldn’t think—you couldn’t do anything. it was like you were frozen.
but you liked it. you liked not thinking and not doing anything—it felt good. like for once you didn’t have to do anything. billie ran her hands through your hair and slowly undressed you with her eyes. she rubbed your hips and kissed your arms. it felt good and you wanted more.
“can i take this off?” she asked.
“yes.” you replied, turning around slightly to see her pulling your hoodie above your arms and off. she laid it down next to her and she gazed upon you like you were the moon and stars and her savior. you felt needed. in that moment you felt like someone wanted you, beyond just as friends or girlfriends or boyfriends.
billie finally touched you. she touched your belly first. rubbing your sides and looked at you. you felt kind of shy? her eyes made you shy. you wanted to look away. but you couldn’t. gasping, once her roaming hands touched your breasts.
“fuck.” she mumbled, and you didn’t even think of what you were doing. just focused on how good it felt, to have her on top of you—touching you. it was the sort of thing you dream of and never expect it to actually happen. but it did. it was happening right now.
“billie.” you whine-gasp as her hand slips under your skirt and lifting it up. it was a pornographic scean really. literally the things you’d see in porn. this was different though—heavenly.
the skirt was laying above your hips, revealing your pink underwear, and billie looked stuck in a haze. she sighed. it wasn’t an annoyed sigh or anything, she was in awe. you could see it all over her face—you could see what she was thinking.
one hand was playing with your nipples, tweaking and pinching. the other was just rubbing up and down your thigh. she spread your legs and your head was near the edge of the bed.
billie stopped the movements on your nipples and fully focused on your underwear, pulling them to the side and biting her lip, “you’re fuckin’ dripping f’me.” she breathed out, running her thumb up your pussy and collecting your arousal, “all this for me? hm?” you were flushed, if the room wasn’t already hot she was making it hot.
“billie.” you whined, and she tilted her head, “touch—”
“touch you?” she interrupted, “you want me to touch you? huh? my slut wants me to touch her,” she chuckled bending down your your legs at the side of her hips, she kissed and nipped at your neck, “c’mon, tell me how i should touch you.” she pulled away and grinned as you bit your lip, looking away and gripping her messy sheets.
“if you can’t say anything then how do i know where to touch you? so fuckin’ whiny.” she groaned, gripped your underwear with her whole fist and dragged her middle finger through your folds, slipping it half and inch in and pulled away before you could beg for more.
“billie.” you whined, bucking your hips and looking up at her with the most pitiful expression, pouty lips and eyebrows furrowed.
“billie,” she mimicked your whine, “can’t wait ny’ longer please js’ fuck me already.” she laughed, imitating you. she was so mean. by now you were ruining her bed sheets, your thighs were stained and her dark jeans were a mess, because of you.
she was sitting with her knees bent under your thighs, your legs were laid by her hips and your pussy had a perfect angle to grind on her stomach, you didn’t, she gave you a perfect opportunity to get the pleasure you wanted but you didn’t. you had this burning desire to be good for her. you just wanted to be good for her.
her hand was still gripping you underwear and you were wondering what she was thinking about, “billie?” you called out her name, looking up at her innocently like you weren’t spread out beneath her.
“yeah?
“need you.” you breathed out, and that seemed to wake her up. she got up from the bed and walked towards her dresser, “where are you going?” she didn’t answer. only digging through her dresser, she pulled out a box and took something from it, you just sighed and laid your head back on the bed.
“c’mere.” she said, taking your hips to her hands and dragging you to lay back on her pillows, taking one and putting it under your back, you smiled, for no reason at all, “what?” she asked.
“what, what?
“why are you smiling?” she kissed your neck, it was sweet, how she cared about you.
“nothing.” you shook your head, and looked down to find something poking your entrance, “billie.” you looked back up.
“what?” she smirked.
“it won’t fit.” you gripped the sheets.
“i’ll make it fit.” she said, and dragged the silicone across your pussy, entering her middle finger to get you ready for her. you moaned, it was embarrassing almost. she didn’t even do anything yet, “my pretty girl.” she breathed out, adding another finger and pumping into you slowly—she started to kiss your neck, and mumble filth into your ear.
“ffuck— billie!” you moaned—loudly, right in her ear. you didn’t mean to. really, you didn’t. but she added another digit in you, your brain was already a mess.
she pulled away from your neck, groaning. looking frustrated. but not at you, “you did that on purpose didn’t you” she asked and you looked up at her, before you could reply she dragged your thighs closer to her and pumped her fingers faster.
“billie— can’t—”
“can’t what? hm? slut.”
“m’ gonna cum—” you whined, feeling her fingers brush your g-spot. your swore you heard her mumble something but it was too quiet for you to hear. all you could think of was billie billie billie. it felt so good. your mind was fuzzy and you were seeing stars.
rolling your eyes back you could feel her gaze on you. you didn’t even think, just gripped her wrist and whined, “want me to stop?” she smirked.
“no! no, don’t stop. please please— billie.”
“you can’t cum until i say so angel.” she said, cruel. you whimpered as she took her fingers out of you, taking the silicone cock and angling it to your pussy, you bit your lip, feeling her rub circles on clit and rubbing her cock up and down on your pussy.
“hurry up.” you said.
“bossy.” she mumbled, didn’t even say anything back, just laid your head back on the bed and felt the tip go into you, instead of gripping the sheets you grip her biceps, “oh.” you gasp, and billie slowed down, so you could get used to the feeling to of the strap.
“ready?” she asked, and you nodded, she filled you up and you could feel the ridges of the strap against your walls, it was almost too big, you were scared at first but she took your hand and looked down at you with an almost sweet expression, you knew what she was thinking about though.
“who said it wouldn’t fit?” she said, and you looked up at her with your mouth agape, feeling her rub up and down your thighs while waiting for you to adjust. at least she was waiting. she was better than him.
you imagined your boyfriend walking into her room, seeing billie fucking you with her strap, you imagined his angry face, how you’d whimper moan into her ear, while staring at him. you wanted him to see.
billie was moving her hips and you gripped her biceps, it hurt, almost. you felt bad for her neighbors. but that was the least of your worries.
“wish you could see yourself.” billie mumbled, and pulled out, before you could even protest she turned you around, taking your hips and lifting them up.
oh, you felt filthy. she was angling the strap to your entrance and you laid your head on the pillow, turning so you could see her. you hated that you couldn’t see her.
“billie—” before you could even whine you felt her thrust into you harshly, “oh— fuck.” you moan.
“yeah? what do you wanna say angel? can’t say—” she gripped your hips and slammed into you roughly, “can’t say a thing, hm baby?” mean. she was so mean.
“wanna’ see you.” you whine, digging your head into the pillow, billie started to kiss up your back, you didn’t even have to see her you could feel the smirk on her face. every time she drives into you, your juices squelch, drenching both of you in a mix of sweat and slick.
“wanna’ see you.” she mocked, looking down, seeing a white substance cover the end of her strap, “fuck—” billie hissed, your moans and whimpers were driving her insane. your walls cling to her, squeezing her tighter with every thrust. her pace became erratic, desperate, hips snapping harder and faster.
“so fuckin’ tight,” she sighed, letting go of your hips and gripped the pillow under your stomach, “nd’ perfect.” she plowing into you and you were so close. you could feel it, brewing in your lower stomach, you didn’t want to tell billie, scared if you did she’d take it all away and make you beg to come.
“billie— can’t hold it.” you whine, feeling her hand grip your hips so tight you knew it would bruise the next morning.
“just a little more sweetheart.” she said, and you wanted to listen, you wanted to be a good girl, for her. but you couldn’t. clenching around her and gripping the pillow in a vice grip, s hard you were scared it was going to rip. you didn’t want to ruin her pillow so you let go. holding the sheets softly.
billie saw your hesitation and sighed, “you can hold the pillow angel, i won’t be—” she licked her lips, “won’t be mad.” she reassured, and you put your hands back on the pillow.
“can i come?” you were so cute. whimpering and moaning under her. she almost said yes. wanted to say yes, but she wanted to show you how much better she was making you come, than your asshole boyfriend with a micro dick and massive ego.
“no.” she replied, and you whined.
“why not.” you had to hold back a moan, just to speak.
“cause’.”
you waited, bit your lip and closed your eyes and hoped she would finally allow you to come.
“billie.” your hands clutch onto the pillow desperately trying to hold it in. it hasn’t even been a minute yet.
“you can hold it a little more, can’t you angel?” you could’ve came right there. could’ve. it was a choice, she gave you a choice. you could come, or you could wait, just a little longer.
you held it in, feeling the strap hit deeper and deeper each thrust, it hit your g-spot every time. she already knew your body like that back of her hand and he didn’t even know what a clit was.
“how would henry think about this?” billie said, hinting to what your boyfriend would think if he saw you, “seeing you like this— hm?” you hated how she made you think of him while she was literally pounding into you.
“billie.” you warn—try to, at least. but the moan right after made it really hard to be intimidating, plus the fact that you couldn’t be intimidating to save your life. having billie trail after you where ever you go was enough scary-dog privilege. she did the intimidating, you were always smiling.
“yeah? have somethin’ to say?’ she mocked. you wanted to be mad at her, you wanted to turn around and teach her a lesson—you wanted. you never did a thing.
by this point the knot in your lower belly was hard to ignore, every time you moaned, or whined and whimpered you felt it throbbing. you squeezed around the silicone tightly feeling billie struggle to keep up the same fast pace. and you finally felt like you were winning, she was getting tired.
“can i come?” you whimpered, again, praying for her to say yes.
“you can come now angel.” billie bit her lip, holding your hips and you finally let go.
“i’m cumming!” you whimpered in between moans, screams filling her room as it finally hit you, your ears ringing and vision faltering as she helped you ride it out.
you whined when she pulled the strap out of you, leaving you empty and needy. “fuck, would you look at that.” there was a pleased smirk on her face as she looked at the soaked, creamy white strap.
“how’d that feel?” she asked, like she didn’t just give you the longest and best orgasm of your life, he’s never made you come before so you don’t even have anything to compare her to.
“s’ good.” you mumble drowsily, collapsing on your stomach to the pillow she placed there when she let go of her hold on your hips.
“so fucked out.” she smiled, and your head was turned to her bedside table, seeing some blood? red paint? something—stained on it, you ignore it, it was probably because of how old the thing was.
you heard her mumble something like, “fuck, i need to clean that” when seeing where your head was directioned, she was talking about the strap, right?
#billie eilish x you#billie eilish fanfiction#billie eilish x reader#billie eilish smut#billie eilish#billie eilish imagine#billie eilish one shot
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hii i was talking about this on twitter so i think i will just copy paste it here cuz i’ll probably delete it there at some point <3 twitter frightens me but i love my mutuals here we are all insane about flowey in the same way
i think saying “you’re the type of friend i wish i always had” is a really important thing for asriel to admit... this whole time asriel has dealt with so much grief and guilt about chara that it separated the actual person chara from the idealized version of them in his head who he has never stopped grieving. its a huge part of his character that hes unable to view them as they were because that’s just how his ptsd and guilt affects him. as someone who went through a similar thing that kind of grief can mess with your head and how you view yourself and the person who’s gone really badly. the pacifist route, for flowey’s character specifically, is a really good example of how grief and ptsd can make you feel disconnected from yourself, everyone around you, and like if only the person you lost was back everything would be perfectly fine again. the fact that he can admit they weren’t perfect and that he made the right decision is a huge character development that we don’t get to see in the no mercy route because he’s still convinced that this idealized version of them birthed from bereavement will make everything okay. similarly to how he believed toriel might have been able to fix him, he wants to believe there’s someone out there that could somehow return him to who he was before being traumatized, but the reality of it is this is just who he is.
his grief and trauma is a huge part of who he is like it is with real people, but it doesn’t have to be all of him. i think the emphasis the fandom puts on whether chara was Good Or Bad completely misses the point that it doesn’t really. matter i guess?? they were a kid people loved and now they’re gone. we're seeing people deal with the grief this brought and we know so little of who they are because there’s also a degree of separation about who they are to the people they loved as well. idk i hope this makes sense i think a lot about how chara is a kid who hated humanity and calls themself a demon. to me that just shows an EXTREMELY traumatized child with self hatred. i don’t know why there was ever this huge moral argument about chara when they’re literally just a kid with issues. they weren’t taught how to deal with how they felt and likely held themself in lower regard compared to the dreemurrs. its the same thing with asriel, he feels responsible for them being gone and his own trauma. he just wants a friend who can teach him to understand his grief or someone who can at least let him view the situation for how it really is
i just think. flowey is so well written but not understood very well by the fandom because the type of thing he’s gone through is kind of hard to grasp. it’s a weird situation that doesn’t have a completely black or white Is He Or Chara At Fault kind of answer. they were children. people are complicated and want someone to blame when something goes wrong and flowey directed that at himself. hes such a fascinating and well written character i love him dearly i hope u guys understand how insane he makes me <3
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Ahh I'm so in love with the idea of timeskip!Kenma as a dad 🥺 You've really made me even more in love with your blog 😘 Can I please request timeskip!Kenma x fem reader where he introduces our son to his followers on his stream? Baby Kodzuken ❤️ I'd love it if his followers were a gushing in the comments about how cute the baby is and how happy Kenma is when he talks about his baby boy and us (his wife)? I love Kenma and the thought of him as a dad is just the cutest to me. Thank you so much! Take care 🫶🏻
≪ back to fics masterlist
kozume kenma x f!reader
a/n: OH MY GODSHKKAFYSYVUDNGUSYRGUKSYKS THIS IS LITERALLY THE CUTEST IDEA EVERRR OMG thanku for requesting my dear kenma anon ❤️ i'm so sorry this took WAY longer to publish than expected so THANK YOU for having the patience of an angel 😭 i really hope this was worth the wait so pls enjoy! lots of love and u take care too <33
cw: TIMESKIP SPOILERS, parenting au, domestic fluff, slice of life kinda thing, chat gg crazy bc kenma is an amazing dad. GREEN FLAG DAD KENMA
"Hey guys, welcome back. I've got a very special announcement to make today, so here we are," Kenma adjusted his camera, smiling slightly.
It was a regular Tuesday evening and you were taking the time to do some self-care, which left Kenma with his second favourite thing in the world - his son.
As a YouTuber, professional gamer, stock trader, streamer and CEO of his own company, Kenma's work schedule was extremely flexible, and both of you were grateful for that. Not only did he have various sources of income, but he could be home as much as he wanted. And being home meant being able to spend time with his precious son, Kozume Kaito.
Kaito was your six month old bundle of joy - literally. If you had told Kenma a decade ago that he'd be a dad one day, he would have never believed you. Until, that is, you had Kaito.
Even before Kaito's birth, Kenma had no idea how he was supposed to take care of and raise a whole child. He just knew that he wanted to be the best father you and Kaito could've ever asked for. And so, you saw how stressed he could got about even the tiniest of things.
"What size clothes do we buy for him? Will S or M be better? What if he's a huge baby? Let's just get one of each size... Wait, what about pacifiers? A-and bottle hoods? What shape will he prefer? Longer ones? Shorter ones? Softer or slightly tougher ones? Ugh forget it, we'll get one of each type too."
However, all his worries disappeared the moment he held little baby Kaito in his arms. Kenma had never really been a crier, but the second he laid eyes on your beautiful son, he couldn't help but let it all out in the hospital ward.
"Can you guys see me clearly?" Kenma asked. The excited responses of "YESSS" "what's the surprise??" "OMG YOU'RE SO PRETTY" "yes i can see your handsome face" confirmed that his camera was indeed working just fine. Amused, he chuckled lightly. "Great. I'll be right back."
As he left the frame, his viewers were left staring at the background screen in his office, a big logo of Bouncing Ball Corp. After a few seconds of silence, some shuffling could be heard as Kenma returned with a chubby ball of energy in his arms. The moment he stepped back into frame with his beloved son in hand, the chat exploded.
kodzukenner: NO WAY IS THAT YOUR BABY??? riceballzzz: CUTIEEEEEEEEE AHHHH nek0mab1tch: omg he has a kid ?? ADORABLE miyamiya07: hawajhjchdjvhhfjhfrsjkhfdhasjhjchjfhjvhkrh lookattheclouds: since when?! vballer1208: HE HAS A CHILD??????????????
Kenma proudly held up his son like he had won an Olympic trophy - he simply adored Kaito. Meanwhile, Kaito watched, enamoured, as comments flooded the chat. Among those comments were also questions about Kaito and even you.
He knew the news of his son would be a major surprise to his online community, especially since the two of you had very successfully hidden your pregnancy from the public. Neither of you wanted to deal with all the pressure from netizens, media and the public.
"'He has Y/n's smile'," Kenma read one comment aloud. Chuckling, he agreed, "He does, doesn't he? He's lucky to inherit the most beautiful smile on earth."
Another comment asked where you were, and when Kenma simply replied with "Doing her own stuff." some commenters gushed about how cute it was that Kenma was on "babysitting duties".
With a scrunch of his face, Kenma retorted, "It's not babysitting. He's literally my child. Y/n's just doing her own stuff, what's the big deal? Come on, y'all gotta delete those gender role stereotypes from your heads, that's so 1950s." He huffed.
"'What's his name?'" Kenma read. "Hm. Y/n and I have actually decided not to reveal his name, so we hope you'll respect our decision."
kodzukenner: omg i wonder what his name is he's so cute i'm sure his name is as cute as him! nek0mab1tch: what if they named him kodzuken bouncingballer: baby kodzuken HAHA miyamiya07: OMG BABY KODZUKEN ??
Kenma chuckled as he read the comments guessing his child's name.
"'Is he joining today's stream?'" Kenma read aloud. Turning to his son with a gentle smile on his face, he replied, "You bet. Aren'tcha, big guy?"
In response, Kaito burst into a fit of giggles, excitedly babbling and pointing at the big screen in front of him.
The comments once again exploded into cheers of happiness as Kenma sat down in his usual gaming position, but this time, with his beloved son in his lap.
a/n: i'm so sorry this is really short 😭😭 but i hope it's okay :,) tysm for requestingg! hope you liked it bae <3
© educatedsimps 2024. do not repost, copy, translate or plagiarise any work from this blog on tumblr or any other platforms. if you do, the simps will hunt you down. likes and reblogs are appreciated!
#educated.simps#haikyuu x reader#lyssa.writes#simps.write#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fluff#hq fluff#hq x reader#hq kenma#kenma kozume#kozume kenma#kenma x reader#kenma x reader fluff
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Got any fun thoughts to share about Ford and Bill?
they drive me crazy dude. i have a lot to say about them so im putting it under a readmore
ive been billpilled for 1 million years dog. hes like the Blueprint. bills the perfect entity to me: terrifying shapeshifting demon who can slip into every corner of your mind and read all your thoughts and memories. and also hes a cartoon character with noodle arms and a cute shape. and hes a pathetic worm whos hung up on his human ex. and hes a funny little guy whos playful and mean and delights in tormenting you but juuuust enough so that he doesnt break you. Hes so awesome
like. listen. this isnt going to be a surprise if youve read literally anything ive ever written. but if bill possessed ford and slammed his hand in a car door and got a kick out of it and put him in a funny little outfit id be fine about it. ford was literally in a 24/7 freeuse lifestyle with him so why WOULDNT he
yeah im kind of a masochist. Why do u ask
put his ass in a horny neurotic guys body and see what happens. hit his dick with a cartoon mallet for fun. slap him around a little. feels cool and neat! like "human bodies are so responsive, huh" said while blanfords about to jam a fork into an outlet (thats my name for it btw. Im not looking it up)
what if i hurt you?? what if i dropped you??? Just kidding :-)
i dont know how much genuine sexual pleasure bill would get out of it so much as the thrill and novelty of a new human sensation but i think that could be fun in and of itself. jacking off with another guys body in a weirdly distant way like Haha Wow. Im getting kind of flustered here! (actively jamming a coke bottle into his pussy)
and the thing that really drives me crazy about ford is how much fetish shit he thinks about/makes inventions for/has inflicted upon him. i think in the series finale hes tied up like 3 fucking times. its insane. he wants to give up control of his body so fucking bad dude!!!!! (exhibit A: ford going limp like a kitten whenever hes picked up. it happens more than once.)
and theres even more contrived bondage bits in the deleted scenes! its maddening. hes an insane obsessive bdsm-lifestyling pervert and hes likethe ideal guy to match bills freak
hes soooo fucking easy. its so much fun to me. theres something really erotic about the way bill makes him feel special about his hands......like.......its naked flattery but its also kinda true. its weird. he likes weird shit. and ford falls for it soooo easy. drives me nuts
now walk with me. think about how easy that same interaction would transfer to ford being transgender. and your not allowed to get mad at me bc this is just my thing now
its so strange! kind of captivating. bills been around the block but the western conception of transmasculinity is so recent that for him it might as well be a blink of the eye. so i think it would be new to him. especially given when he actually makes a deal with ford. just another special thing about his special little guy. he *knew* there was something about ford
and to be frank i think that if you were a transmasc pervert in the 70s and a dream demon came along that understood you inside and out and can make all of your bizarre fantasies come true. well. you would have been fucking stupid not to fuck him
i need to read the book of bill so fucking bad bc the extra context of bill being super hung up on ford drives me CRAZY!!!! i love bitter lovestruck jerks. i love divorce. and i think they could and should hook up again. bad guys that are reluctantly forced to stop being so bad are so much fun and fords huge fucking ego didnt go anywhere. i think bill could convince ford to give him a second chance. at least just to hook up for old times sake
anyway. im making a bill itabag. Gotta go
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hi jes! how've u been? i hope everything's fine as u read this.
may i request a "things/characteristics that might be a turn off or deal breaker for ateez"? i hope u haven't done something like this before hehe
thank u in advance and have a great day <3
-🪽
ateez deal breakers
based on tarot, a little difficult to interpret as they don't talk openly about relationships, take it with a grain of salt
seonghwa
4 of swords, the hierophant reversed, king of swords
dependence, people that need him to boss them around, that need him to be in control of the relationship, like someone who wouldn't make the first move or high demand people. stuck in their ways, close minded, negative, too introverted (isolated, lone wolves, etc), people that stay lied down in their room all day, people that sleep too much, people that worry too much and would complain and need him to be super nice. not being spontaneous, defensive, controlling and scared.
hongjoong
(he seems super busy these days, cards were jumping and my head and eyes started feeling heavy and my body tired 😮💨)
ace of cups reversed, the devil reversed, 6 of cups reversed
I don't think he likes people that are very experienced in relationships. he honestly might have a specific person in mind or just a really reaaaally specific type, so if you're anything different from that, you're just not his person. if he can't see himself being friends with them, having a friendship before and beyond a relationship. someone that doesn't wanna have kids. it honestly feels like he's looking for a soulmate so if you're not them, there's just no hope for you.
yunho
knight of pentacles, 5 of cups reversed, page of pentacles, bottom of the deck: the star
co-workers, other idols, celebrities (basically anyone he couldn't run from if they broke up). doesn't want someone that has just started their career or college students, he's done a lot in his life and he wants someone to match him. he doesn't wanna fix anyone or save them, he just wants someone he can chill with, so no negativity, hard work, pessimism, anyone that would bring his spirit down, he doesn't want to be "the energizer" of his relationship, that's his JOB. he also wants someone that can be around him often, so you can't travel/wander too much; doesn't want people that sleep around and/or just wanna hook up with him, he wants commitment.
yeosang
(always in such a good, lighthearted mood, it's energizing)
2 of wands reversed, temperance reversed, 10 of swords reversed
a wanderer spirit, his job is already so demanding and fast paced, he wants someone that will stick and, again, not travel too much. no patience, he doesn't like to be yelled at. someone that moves too much, doesn't chill, loud, etc. the 10 of swords is making me think of physicals, he prefers athletic builds, so people that don't work out, get tired easily, weak in general wouldn't be able to keep up with him and his preferences/hobbies.
san
2 of swords, 5 of pentacles, page of cups, 6 of pentacles
literally people that leave him out in the cold, don't share their thoughts and feelings with him, keeping secrets. someone that is too decisive, don't ask his opinions and inputs on things. san has changed a lot over the years, he may not want someone that met him before that, he'd feel stuck, so people from his hometown, childhood friends, trainees, other idols and people that his friends recommend may be totally out of question. he'd prefer someone in the same level of fame as him, he doesn't wanna do "charity work" (for lack of better words) or worry of gold diggers and would feel nervous if the other person was more famous.
mingi
(such a happy and innocent dude he's so cute so cute)
page of swords, wheel of fortune reversed, 7 of cups reversed
I could make a very lengthy post just about what mingi doesn't like, he's VERY picky. destiny plays a huge part for him, so basically every characteristic that doesnt match his idea of his soulmate is a deal breaker. but also (even platonically), people that are too nice to any and everyone like it's their job (literally the page of swords), wild, independent, party people, superficial, immature (in his terms). doesn't like people that aren't interested in soulful subjects and/or practices, people that don't think of the future (spontaneous, careless, etc.), or don't study. people that think/dream small, can't see beyond their physical reality, don't support his fantasies, people stuck in reality (he daydreams all the time and loves to dress up as anime characters in real life). etc etc etc there's a lot more coming through, but this is a good sum up, I think .
wooyoung
7 of wands reversed, 4 of wands, 5 of swords reversed
people that get offended easily, he does playful banter even with his mom, so someone too serious doesn't work with him. maybe people that pursue him are a deal breaker, he may like the chase. someone that gets along too well with his friends (he's said he doesn't think men and women can be friends without feelings). "boring" people that don't like to bend the rules sometimes.
jongho
(jongho never gives me permission to read for him, unless I'm totally 300% available so that's a hint)
justice reversed, the world, the empress, ace of wands reversed
impulsive, reckless, hasty, self critical and judgemental of him, unfair/full of prejudice. someone that is too similar to his friends and/or their partners. too independent and in control, don't need him, also doesn't want someone that has a hectic schedule or travels too much, because he takes it slow and steady.
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You've done hcs in the last for ponys seasonal depression, but maybe some hcs for papercut as adults celebrating the holidays at the Curtis house (with the pookie shepards pulling up💗💗) and ponys having hard time and curlys subtly helping him the best he can as to not make a huge deal out of it in front of everyone?? I feel like at one point pony would rest hos forehead on curlys shoulder and it would just be their little moment as curly continues talking with people
OoOoOoOo rubbing my hands together w this one,,,
•ok SO, past few holidays its either they werent able to go cause something always popped up or even if they did, someone else wasnt there for some reason, so it just wasn’t a complete holiday, but this year there was no distractions and everyone was available!!! pony was so happy and it just rubbed off on curly and thats bc he has winter seasonal depression, on TOP of that hes hmesick, so thats kind of a new feeling, boooo👎🏽👎🏽
•curlys also not doing the best bc he just doesnt like winter cause it makes him more homesick (for haiti and tim n angela) and he just hates the cold, plus he has a love hate relationship w it getting dark earlier, but seeing the other happy makes the other more upbeat, so theyre like bouncing off of each other!!!
•literally the days leading up to it, they were planning on things to do together, like lil kids the night before a field trip!! what cutiepies
•pony was telling curly all the things he used to do w during the holidays, especially w his parents, dally, and or johnny, curly knew pony was nostalgic and just liked hearing the stories, does he wish he coulda been there?? yes, but this aint bout him rn
•getting there curly noticed pony was like wayyyy more up beat, he was helping and going around and its like, he knew pony was only acting like this cause this was an equivalent for a high for him, like its more adrenaline than anything, but it wasnt BAD, hes just happy so he let pony do his thing
•bc ponys spent a good long few months w curly, i think this is around the time he accidentally ignores curly for a bit, to spend time w his family, and curly gets it, hes lowkey doin the same, theyre both w that!!! theyre adults about it, no need to have ur eyes on each other 25/8
•however pony had a habit of just, still thinking about the past and not actually enjoying the moment, so curly always has to pull pony in to enjoy, ponys sitting watching ppl bake???pony get ur ass in there, ponys taking the pics of everyone else but not himself??? get in the frame u loser
•curly gives pony the “r u ok” look to pony even when across the room as a check in, if ponys not curly keeps an arm around him so pony doesnt go completely in his mind either that or they go outside for some air
•sometimes curlys PURPOSELY dumb, just for his own entertainment and as much as they know each other, there r momwnts where pony cant tell, and these r one of the times where thats helpful, curly comes over w a fucked up looking cookie and another one w a weiner so they can eat em together and ponys smiling!! he gives curly a look and grin of “r u serious” and curly knows hes succeeded
•curly will tooottalllyyyy stay a couple days over w pony if he wants to stay over for a couple more days, curly doesnt mind a bit, even encourages it, if pony doesnt ask, curly will ask if he wants to anyways
•”y r u guys alone in ponys old room” “we were just talking, lol” whole time pony was losing energy being around everyone and wanted to b alone for a sec, they were sitting in silence and curly came up w that lie
•and ur so right, that would happen!!! curly wasnt rlly looking at pony, he just felt him do that and just went w it, pony felt like everything kinda slowed down, but he was fine, for the first time that whole month!!!
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Isn't it so sad that Bryce harper is a baseball player mormon and not the faggiest draggiest at gay brunch. I'm assuming you also think about this semi-regularly
It's literally all I think about and since this post game interview with Fry was so excruciating I had to turn the entire game off, let's get into it. One thing I find very interesting about Bryce is he is like. VERY aware of the media panopticon and his place within it. I don't think that informs how he does his faith -- I have not known very many Mormons but from everyone I run into outside of Nevada and Utah who is Mormon there's always been a kind of, quietness about it?; mb this is the coastal elite version of Mormonism but I think often of a coworker that worked at the library for decades and no one knew she was Mormon until she found out I'm Christian and started talking abt it -- anyway where I was going with it is, he is very aware of the panopticon and also probably very aware of how the outside world sees his faith in addition to that. Bryce Harper is loud as fuck and annoying as hell but I've noticed that there are parts of him that are very quiet on the public stage and I kind of wonder how much else is buried under there.
And I'm not diagnosing that man but I think there's been a kind of laser focus on baseball from his teenage years on that has allowed him to put on a version of himself that feels safer? like to be clear he is at any given moment the most emotionally dysregulated player on a field of neurospicy athletes, but I've listened to a couple of interviews with and about him in the past couple of weeks and it's definitely like...like he found a niche and he was good at it so he stuck with it. So I like kind of wonder how he deals with that when his body is no longer able to sustain play. But that's kind of how it goes with a lot of athletes lmao
Which ofc means in kas fudanshi world means he has to have some HUGE bodily and religious reckoning in approximately 5-8 years when he retires -- yk the kinda mixed ok if this body and this sport was where I felt safe, what do I have outside of that AND a little bit of, if I return to Nevada full time and find that the experiences I've had outside of it had made it so that my faith no longer aligns with the values I hold (as it went with some of the ex-Mormons I know).....ok Bryce well now you have a long dark night of the soul and I for one hope you come out singing.
this is maybe too serious tho to be fair you did ask the gay religious blog about the man who should be gay but is instead religious...my final take is there is an Orville Peck concert tomorrow at the Met in Philly and while I am not really an Orville Peck scholar and I don't think Phillies management is rly prone to the dramatics of some other teams, I do think if Bryce went along with some friends or whatever, and heard "Chemical Sunset" by Orville Peck featuring my queen Allison Russell in the wrong mood, he WOULD be calling up Trea Turner after the concert just to start an argument:
I can see it in your eyes, you're not afraid to die, can I walk by your side? / dancing on the deck of the Titanic, the glow of the world on fire / Why tell a lie? I feel so alive, I wouldn't try to fight the flames / I do a pirouette in the chemical sunset, come and see me, baby, it's the end of days
girl (bryce harper), it is really not that serious. you can say fuck god and kiss boys if u want. you're literally bryce harper It's Fine
bro should be terrorizing people in a marketing department and going out to gay brunch on saturdays where he drinks bottomless mimosas and talks insane shit about the 76ers because the Flyers are off topic ever since he had that assignation no one can ever talk about without him going nuclear...instead he's playing baseball? wow. life is crazy
#but like rly...everyone in philly is so hot its crazy he would do numbers on every app in existence#his laugh lines...all i am asking for is one chance#that fry interview was SO embarrassing if i hit a walk off homer you would not see my ass thanking god on national tv#i would out loud be saying some highly charged things about my teammates that make the rounds on fujo tiktok#and cause several redditors to look at some unsolved mlb blind items very very very closely#find pictures of me me in the clubhouse chewing on my cross on my knees LATER. evangelicals are so cringe#fresno oilers.write#cage replies#anon
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would u tell me a bit about some svsss thoughts, au‘s ideas or wips of yours?(<- half way through a 9 hour train/bus journey & really bored) please?🥺
i could tell u about my tgirl-sqq/sy au that i’m never gonna write, cuz i genuinely don’t enjoy writing? or maybe show u a picture of my sisters newborn (cutest baby u have ever seen)
omg PLEASE tell me ur thoughts on tgirl sqq I love trans sqq (any direction but esp transfem it's so special to me)
let'sss see, I have a lot of wip and au thoughts at the moment as I nervously procrastinate several important projects 😅
I had a cold earlier this week so I wrote half of a fluffy fic inflicting my cold onto SQQ:
“Liu-shidi is out at the moment,” Shen Qingqiu said, an awful rasp to his voice that Luo Binghe hated. “Surely Shizun can call him back?” Luo Binghe pleaded. “For what?” Shen Qingqiu asked, waving a sleeve. “A small cold? This master has managed worse. He’ll return when he returns, and until then it's not so bad.” “But Shizun–” Luo Binghe tried to object, but Shen Qingqiu gave him a stern look that caused Luo Binghe to fold at once. He redoubled his efforts of looking sad and concerned and despondent as a quick countermeasure, and Shen Qingqiu sighed. “It’s not so bad,” he repeated. “This master can still perform his duties just fine. Most likely it will pass before Liu Qingge even returns.”
outside of that, i have been on a major qijiu brainrot kick (i have a 8k fic for them i should be posting as soon as i decide if it needs a stronger dose of sqq or not + decide how to end it (sob)), and also reading a ton of disciple days/canon timeline bingqiu and having big feelings about how much i love them. ive also been returning to my unhorny women and gender studies liu qingge omegaverse fic that i am always contemplating but never actually writing, in which liu qingge is a not-like-other-girls omega in PIDW omegaverse and tries to marry shen qingqiu due to fantasy comp het
besides that, here are some concepts ive jotted down in my notes app this week loll:
dragon!YQY hoarding peak lords
this is literally all i have written down for this but i want it to be something SO BAD. save me dragon yqy. dragon yqy save me
Yue Qingyuan is cursed into an endless sleep The other peak lords call on Shen Qingqiu to enter his mind and wake him up as the person closest to him, only... SQQ actually barely knows this guy! He and Binghe take a dream journey through YQY's subconscious and eventually find that SJ is haunting him and eating his power which is keeping him asleep. They must either banish him ORRR.... Sun and Moon Dew mushroom time
i dont think ill write this so if anyone else does....... please take this idea and run w it haha
Sy transmigrated into the little palace Mistress??? Ahhh...
i THINK this came after reading stiltonbasket's SY!QWY fic, because i was thinking about the old palace master being a huge creep and shen yuan dealing with that from inside huan hua palace. i really see shen yuan going on a journey of gender discovery (his own gender AND the perils of misogyny that he never understood as a cis internet man(he thought he was cis at least)) and political intrigue as he tries to get to the heart of whats wrong with huan hua while dodging and or attempting to track down luo binghe. plot??? idk her
Deaf Shang qinghua!! Mbj doesnt notice
someday i must write this bc i love writing my favs as deaf or hoh. id love to explore shang qinghua as being both physically and culturally Deaf and how that plays into his interactions with the world post-transmigration, where there is even less accommodations or access for someone with a disability and he is cut off from his community, especially in terms of his work on an ding and relationship with his martial siblings. mbj not noticing a major facet of his life feels in character and like great drama lol, and i think the conclusion is definitely mbj learning ZGS that teaches him and he ends up liking using it way more than speaking verbally, both for sqh's ease and because he doesnt like to talk lol
i hope this is what u meant hahaha i could talk abt wips and svsss ideas all day. they are living in my head rent free 24/7 。゚(TヮT)゚。 i hope your trip goes by smoothly and quickly!!
#writing this blearily at well past my bed time so apologies if it is incoherent hkljhjgkjhkhk#its been a rich week for svsss thoughts#also thank u sm for asking this and coming to chat :))) it really brightens my day and is so fun to get to talk to and get to know (1)#people in the fandom (2)#i definitely want ur svsss thoughts right back *eyes*#askbox#buryspeaks.mp3#joblesssmonday#this isnt relevant but please know i am always reading ur username to the tune of manic monday and singing it in my head#svsss#wips#fic concepts#fic writing#scum villains self saving system#my writing
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in another life — my heart hummed a tune.
idol au for the lovely @calyxso!! sorry it took so long but i actually had so much fun with this one i hope u like it lyxie!!♡♡
"Can you see my sweat?"
Kaminari had tried to discreetly turn to Hanta, past the view of the papparzzi and the flashing cameras in front of them. He could feel Hanta's eyeroll from where he stood, posing and smiling before he whispered under his breath:
"Shut up."
"You suck," Denki playfully nudged him, hiding his tiny eyeroll as a joke passed off between the two of them for the paparazzi. "It's not my fault I'm nervous."
Finally, their spot on the red carpet with had ended, and the two of them trailed behind Kirishima and Katsuki who'd already started speedwalking their way into the gala ahead of them.
"It is though," Hanta rolled his eyes. "I know she's like your crush or whatever, and it's a huge deal that she's coming on our tour as an opener — but you need to chill out."
"You literally just explained why I can't chill out." Denki huffed.
"You're acting like she's gonna spit in your face the second she sees you." Hanta laughed at the increasingly nervous expression coming up Denki's face. "She's nice from what I've heard from Mina; just don't act like an idiot and you'll be fine."
"Easy for you to say," Denki mumbled under his breath, but Hanta was no longer paying attention, instead awestruck by both the decorations (vines and fresh flowers, climbing each column and wall of the room while also hanging from the ceiling in a makeshift chandelier — in accordance with the theme) as well as all the celebrities in attendance.
If he really wanted to, Denki would've needed both his fingers and toes to count the amount of childhood heroes present in just that room — that was enough to get his heart pounding as he followed behind Hanta.
But even worse, he could see you standing and talking to both Katsuki and Eijirou just ahead. Hanta nudged him forward from behind him, and before he knew it he was standing right in front of you with wide eyes, trying not to freak out.
(You looked so pretty in that dress — that was the only thing he could think of as you talked to the rest of his group; that was, until Bakugou nudged him on the shoulder.
"R'you gonna answer her? Or are you gonna keep staring at her?")
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Do you have any advise on how deal with negative and hateful people? My mother is incredibly hateful and she makes me sad alot, for context, I’m not obese but technically I am above average weight for 5’7, weight wise I look like the Australian model, iskra Lawrence, but I do try to loose weight, she recently, made a gesture of large hands saying my waist is huge and I’m so big now, my maid told me this, they don’t like her either , because of alot of stuff that is just very sad.
When I try to defend myself, she gets so angry that my hands start to shake, at one point in my life, I didn’t get out of my room for 6 whole months.
I just don’t know how to be happy or even not happy just not be so sad anymore, is there any way to not feel effected by someone like her?
first of all, if ur body looks like iskra lawrences, u have a very good body like thats a hot body. also like u said, ur not obese, just a little overweight so its not like ur health is in any real danger + ur kinda tall and i think tall womens bodies tend to be able to carry a little extra weight well (and im talking from a pure health perspective here, like i feel like a tall frame can handle a bit more weight better in general both looks wise and health wise but ur health is the important part imo) so like.. i think ur fine but if u wanna lose a little weight thats up to u, but u should only lose weight FOR URSELF not to please someone else like u shouldnt be bullied into changing ur body in any way.
second of all, ur mom is fucking awful. im sorry i know its ur mother and u probably have a lot of love for her despite everything but the way she treats u and makes u feel is not ok and straight up harmful maybe even actually abusive. i get the impression that ur mom treats the ppl around her awfully in general since ur clearly not the only one who has an issue with her so id like u to stay mindful of the fact that she is the problem here not u. its very hard to not let negativity and hate get to u when u literally live with it and i sincerely hope ur planning on moving away from her as soon as ur able to. u honestly need to avoid her as much as possible in the meantime which ofc is hard when u live together but try to engage with her as little as possible. ur maid seems like she cares for u so at least u have an ally in her so ur not all alone and maybe she is someone u can talk to and find comfort in. idk what else to tell u bc mother daughter dynamics like these are so complicated and hard to navigate especially when ur stuck under the same roof and idk what the situation is with ur dad or if he is in the picture etc so idk if i can give u any more advice than this
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ZORI. THIS IS A HOLD UP. TELL ME HOW YOU MET IVAN.
Fun fact I'm actually writing a story on that too but here's some little bits and pieces of said fic explained in the dumbest way possible. Enjoy 😏✨
Blame Alfred (/America)
Literally blame him right now, don't even think about it, just do it.
He decided to host a huge party during the week Zorya had to present their senior thesis.
And no the party wasn't for them it was a hell yeah it's summer time party
What a goof I love Alfred so much ☹️ (fun fact him and Lovino are Zorya's best pals)
Of course Zorya and Lovino and all their friends get dragged along. Zorya's (outside of the trio) friends rejected bc they were like are you insane it's thesis and finals weeks absolutely not 🗿
Zorya would say no but they share an apartment with their best friends and they don't want to be a jerk alright
Anyways party time. Zorya is literally stuck to Lovino like glue. Like holy shit I don't know anyone let me join u and ur other friends
Alfred is being too social for Zorya, he introduced them to like 40 new people in the span of 5 minutes so Zorya went fuck that and found Lovino and went okay YOU ARE STUCK W ME NOW
Zorya would much rather be sleeping but it's fine Lovino's friends are rly nice, and they don't get to meet up with these people that often so it's nice to see some sorta fresh faces but not awkward meeting for the first time conversations
But holy shit there are so many people here
So stressful
Zorya doesn't do parties (I also don't rly do parties unless it's like my closest friends or if I'm at a family party, I have a friend with me or I can sneak out and go draw 🫡)
Zorya decides to excuse themself from the fun banter they've gotten involved in and they go take a walk around and maybe fight off random strangers for some apple juice
Yes Alfred got them to be on board bc he bought them fancy apple juice. Zorya likes striking a deal when they can
Juice
They drink the juice life is great
But NOW THEY CAN'T FIND LOVINO OR ANTONIO OR ANYONE THEY ACTUALLY KNOW OH GOD IT IS THE END OF THE WORLD!!!!!!!
Poor Zorya *sad kazoo noises*
Zorya tries to look like they fit in just smiling at strangers, but it looks more like 😬😬😬😬😬 LMAOOOO they're trying okay don't judge them
Again blame Alfred (just in case you forgot)
But the juice is so worth it
Anyways Zorya is sipping their apple juice, and ready to sneak into their bedroom (that they locked up-yes this is happening at their apartment BTW Alfred is..... I don't even know anymore), and climb out to the fire escape and go get bubble tea 🧋(mmm bubble tea mmm) and just stay away
But they can't get PAST THIS TALL ASS RUSSIAN DUDE
yes it's Ivan but they don't know that
He's talking to some people, some look comfortable some look afraid that he will snap them in half if they don't laugh at his jokes
Zorya is afraid to ask him to move
So Zorya is just awkwardly there gawking at him and these people that he probably already knew cause of course Alfred is so popular that he can get strangers to bring their friends to this chaotic shit
Zorya is over thinking everything as usual ™
Alfred can be heard screaming the cha cha slide in the distance now BTW
Anyways Zorya feels a hand on their shoulder, it's this girl asking if they're alright
They zoned out and was staring at tall Russian man while in the process of zoning out
Good job Zorya we're proud of u
Zorya is like oh no he's hot AND I WAS STARING AT HIM OH GOOD GOD 🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍
Zorya awkwardly waves it off and goes oopsies sorry ah I was looking for my friends there's so many people here ah shit I'm sorry 😅... 🫠
And Russian dude that Zorya doesn't know the name of (it's Ivan) is like I'm pretty tall I can help you look
Zorya is like *NEARLY CHOKES AND DIES * SURE?????
So they go on a fucking hunt to find Lovino and gang
Zorya notices some of Russian guy's friends look low key relieved, Zorya wants to ask but is like nah I don't wanna know I just want to find Lovino
So they're walking around and talking
They exchange names
Hi Ivan
Hello Zoryana (fun fact it takes him months even when they start dating,, to just call them Zorya)
Zorya is genuinely having a great time talking to Ivan
And it seems the same way for Ivan!! 🥺
They're talking for a good hour that's how fucking crowded this party is and they're rly distracted just talking to each other about random shit and making jokes about stupid things happening
Alfred and Lovino are low key watching this btw, Alfred is like Zorya is gonna be simping and Lovino is like oh dear God no not again
Eventually they find Lovino and his gang
Zorya introduces Ivan to them
Seems like everyone knows everyone, Zorya is basically the new guy here 🧍🫡 good job Zorya
Before Zorya could thank Ivan he's getting dragged off
Zorya is BLUSHING BTW and was like damn he was rly cute I'd love to talk to him again.... Maybe ask him to coffee or something
Lovino notices and goes oh here we go again 🧍
Alfred overhears and WINGMAN MODE ACTIVATES
ALFRED IS SO EXCITED TO BE A WINGMAN PLS
HE'S BEEN WANTING THIS HIS WHOLE LIFE TO BE A WINGMAN
Zorya is like no don't 🗿
Fuck you this is America I'll do what I want biatch Alfred yells and disappears into the crowd
Bye Alfred
Zorya and Lovino are face palming 🤦🤦
Anyways
Party goes on until like the last stragglers leave at like 3 am
This party started at noon the previous day btw
Zorya is EXHAUSTED AND LAYING ON THE FLOOR
Lovino is like go the fuck to bed
Zorya is like no I miss my calmer apartment pls 😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨
The trio goes to sleep will clean when they wake up bc fuck that
How many fucking people were over anyway holy shit??? 😭
In the afternoon Zorya wakes up and Alfred is swiveling around the barstool and cackling
Lovino is on his 5th cup of coffee and telling Zorya go back to bed
...
So you remember Alfred wanting to be the wingman
Well he
He set up a little date to the zoo for Zorya and Ivan next weekend
Zorya goes back to their room
Closes the door
SCREAMS
... Zorya is both happy and terrified BC HOMIE WHAT WHY
The end 😌
That's basically the whole story but in condensed (...some would beg to differ) notes form!! I hope i have pleased you with this lore 👀
Tldr: blame Alfred.
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I don't think Kitty would like going to the doctors/vet. The whole declawing thing has really made her stay as far away from medical professionals as possible.
I think that it’s not FEAR per say, just a deep general mistrust. It’s been so long since that disastrous visit when she was small and she was probably drugged during it so she can’t remember it SUPER well, and logically knows why doctors are good, but still distrusts them more than normal ppl (which is saying smth lol). I think she would prefer to deal w everything herself and only go to the doctor when it’s an absolute emergency/she is literally dying. In that situation, she’ll let the doctor touch her and do their work but it’s super nerve racking the whole time. She wants a complete list of everything they’re going to do and how they’re going to do it beforehand, and they better stick exactly to that list or she will attack them and run out.
She’s only gone a couple times in her life and always has gone by herself. It’s been… manageable… but in a way where you just have to grin and bear and hope it ends quickly. It’s better when her newfound friends come w her (tho she’ll never admit it).
I think eventually it would come up somehow and puss and perrito would be like “what do u mean you’ve broken seven bones but have only gone to the dr twice?? Even if they're healed now, you should probably go in for a checkup.” It turns into a huge fight bc she doesn’t want to go but just when the boys are abt to give in, she says she’ll do it. But only bc of how concerned they are, she knows she’s fine. It’s several days of mental prep first, u can’t spring these things on her, and they have to promise stay w her the entire time. So they go and it turns out to be much easier w ppl who care abt her/she trusts than when she goes by herself.
Puss helps her keep an eye on the dr and follows them around when she has to stay on the table. This is great actually bc then she knows someone who actually cares about her is watching what the dr is doing while their back is turned to her and she can’t see. Puss even goes so far to “test” some of the equipment which leads to the appointment taking a SUPER long time and him accidentally hurting himself a few times lol (It wasn’t anything serious, just a few pokes and bumps bc he was being orange and rushing in before he knew what it did/how to use it)
Perrito just kinda chills on the table next to Kitty and offers up comforting words and positive reinforcement. She even lets him put his head in her lap which is huge for him. Perrito would never hurt anybody, especially someone he knows it’s trying to help his friend, but when Kitty starts getting all hissy and puffed up bc smth isn’t going how she planned or her personal space isn’t being respected, he’ll bark and growl along with her to really drive the message home that the dr needs to back off. Honestly, the dr would probably step away anyway even if he wasn't helping her but Kitty secretly appreciates it. Knowing that her friends are here and are even willing to fight the dr if something bad happened to her certainly helps her feel more comfortable.
It goes... as well as it can given the circumstances and they promise (lie) that they’ll be back in six months on the way out. They also steal the whole bucket of treats. Kitty had scoffed when the dr had offered her one but Puss said that they were actually pretty good and ofc Perrito wanted one too and next thing the dr knew, all the treats were all gone, bucket and everything lol
Kitty and the boys compromise on one check up a year (she wanted to do none but they wanted her to be healthy). Ofc if it’s an emergency than maybe they can renegotiate that number but she’s always super careful in her missions so the odds of that emergency happening aren’t high.
#and uh yeah that's the post#actually they should all really get check ups#pre last wish puss doesn't strike me as someone who would go (his pride is too big)#kitty obviously not and nobody probably ever loved perrito enough to take him for regular visits (excluding that scar he has)#puss in boots#puss in boots the last wish#kitty softpaws#perrito
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would u Please elaborate on whatever catherine and anders have going on im fascinated by them
okay so sometimes you are the oldest daughter and you are not a mage but your father was and your baby sister who is wonderful and who you would die to keep safe is. and frankly this has been a Fucking Lot to deal with and you have never met anyone your whole life outside of your family who understands it. and then you have the worst year of your entire life and you are constantly afraid for your baby sister and then you meet this mage guy. who is kind of cringey BUT he's funny and you respect his whole deal and he kind of reminds you of your dad????? and this guy is obsessed with you now because you're one of the first nonmages he's ever met who agrees with him on this stuff and he is incredibly desperate for approval. but it's not Like That because you're gay and like he gets it.
and THEN your worst nightmare happens and your wonderful baby sister does get captured by templars and taken to the circle, and even WORSE, she likes it there. despite everything you've done to protect her from it. which is basically the ultimate betrayal even if you know deep down that thinking that is kind of ridiculous. so you and your sister are NOT talking anymore and for surely unrelated reasons you find your big sisterly protective instincts suddenly turned up to 11 and projected onto your two friends who are mages. and you ask both of them to live with you because you've come into some money and have a huge mansion now and they both have kind of shitty housing situations but they both turn you down because it's weird but still end up hanging out in your house a lot and that guy your friend ends up staying there A LOT to hang out and work on his manifesto and fall asleep on your couch which is great because you cant stand to not have people in it, especially after your mom dies.
(also during all this you've become kind of obsessed with financial security as a trauma response to aforementioned worst year of your life and are deeply deeply determined to live in comfort and luxury for the rest of your life at all costs, which has led you to get into things like Capitalism and Organized Crime. but all of your friends still think you're awesome and haven't mentioned that this might be bad so you're probably doing fine)
so you're spending a lot of time with this guy and you just start to get. really codependent about each other and extremely physically affectionate around everyone. especially during this shitty three year stretch where your mom just died and you fought this scary duel to save the girl you like and then she immediately ran out on you so you're very in your feelings about that while this guy is also having a huge mental health moment. and you are CONVINCED what this guy needs to do to solve his problems is kick out the spirit possessing him (yeah there's a spirit possessing him) because you are fundamentally incapable of understanding what is actually going on with him and you do not understand that the guy you are friends with is just as much the spirit as he is the man he was before. so you fight about this a little and eventually he agrees to try and then he TRICKS YOU and murders a bunch of people instead??? and essentially jumpstarts the annulment of the circle that YOUR baby sister is at, and they do end up okay but that was a hell of a risk to decide to take??
but fundamentally this is NOT his fault because he is literally sad and mentally ill and you're sure that if he would just get rid of that stupid spirit this would all be fine, so when you flee the city (forcing you to leave behind the stability that was so important to you that you build) you tell him he can stay with you but he needs to finally get help! and your sister, who is here now, is not happy about this -- because this guy is the reason she can't go back to the place she had started to consider home and he placed all their lives in danger and there was definitely another way to go about all this, so she can't believe you're still hanging out with him. which is rich coming from your sister, who you still feel like betrayed you, so you get into another fight with her after nearly a decade of barely talking and she leaves.
anyway eventually you get set up in a nice place in antiva city doing other shady activities while your girlfriend pops in on and out in between being a pirate. your friend agrees he probably does need to get help and crashes with you for a few months but you fight and he leaves, and then a few months or a year later he'll come back and agree he's going to try to get rid of the spirit and asks to stay with you until you end up fighting again and he leaves and you worry he's actually dead somewhere and this just keeps happening again and again. and you're STILL not talking to your sister
#ending sounds very grim trust and believe cat and bela are having a great time being gay criminals between all this#also sorry i know you did not want a post this long#catherine hawke
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Going insane a little bit abt selkie marcia au combined w silas+marcia friends au which I don't even know if u care abt. And I know I COULD make an actual post abt it but I don't want to SO uh. Silas+sarah r friends w marcia in this au. Silas bc one time he was over at her place when they were younger (like she was. 8 and he was 14) and picked up her Coat to move it and she panicked and started crying and as soon as she told him what was going on he went OH SHIT. and never touched the Coat again. Silas is the only person besides like. Her mother that knows she is a selkie and she complains abt it to him a Lot right up until he leaves school at 17 and they stop talking to each other as much and then at all. And then she shows up at the heaps at age like. 15 after she left home and is like uh :) hi :) and silas offers to let her stay for a while and she's like I can't what if ur wife finds out abt me :( and he goes oh its fine shes a dryad. And so marcia stays w silas+sarah for a little bit before she can get her own room in the ramblings. Except her room is right next to their room anyway so she's basically still living with them for the next few years. And also marcia+sarah sometimes have tea and talk abt being Mythical Creatures and eventually they r just. Friends <3 more than once silas has come home to find a literal seal having a nap on the floor bc marcia was too lazy to light the fire but was cold. Simon has vague memories of her from when he was rlly little but he doesn't rlly process it as marcia overstrand extraordinary wizard he just remembers her as. Maybe his babysitter? And those memories r mixed up with ones of getting to play with a seal which clearly isn't right so maybe they aren't even real
I DO care about it that is sweet :') Marcia & Silas begrudging but incredibly close friendship means so much to me and !!! cuddly Marcia which is somehow what my brain conjures the moment she has fur.
So I gope you don't mind bc I immediaely had to sit down and hastily sketch all this
Baby Marcia in her coat
Teenaged Marcia showing up at the Heaps and pretending like it's FINE it's not a big deal she just needs a place to stay (*huge eyeroll*)
Sidenote she's wearing her first apprentice uniform above because I am now having excessive feelings about Marcia essentially trying to replace her selkie coat with a different significant outfit, and a cloak to pretend like she totally didn't have to lock a part of herself away
DRYAD SARAH means everything to me now. They are hanging out. They are gossiping about you
AND A BIG CUDDLE PILE. Seal Marcia on Silas' carpet... and she says she hates Maxie but she never pushes him away when she's transformed. Plus one of the boys. I want to say Nicko (early attachment to sea creatures) but timeline-wise it's probably poor confused Simon <3
#Simon voice: what do you MEAN I used to nap with the eow. I used to nap with the eow and you didn't tell me!#Silas: I mean... she was just an apprentice?#Simon: BUT SHE'S THE EOW NOW do you think if I tell her I remember this she'll take me as an apprentice. Dad dad stop laughing#septimus heap#sep.jpeg#images have alt text
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my shitty treatise on "ants from up there" and gale dekarios
this is the gale album of all time. and i WILL elaborate. (also warning im only posting this because i have been obsessed with this fucking album and gale for a WEEK and need it out of my brain. im probably not going to explain too many lyrics and i get nervous expressing my ideas because tbf to me it seems quite obvious but ofc i can explain, assuming anybody reads this post)
"Concorde" immediately stood out to me like oh this is so gale. i dont even think i need to explain how gale this is. the rest of the song is super gale too, i just don't want to include screenshots of the entire song
"Bread Song" has a LOT of worship imagery and also below alluding to appearing fine but rlly inside he is not well <3
oh my god. "Good Will Hunting". the mentorship but also wanting her to depend on him a little but it's unfeasible, weaving a whole life in his head that can never be because mystra will never see him as an equal... also the pre-chorus 👍 i am so well
"Haldern"... i literally dont know how to explain my feelings about this song in relation to gale pls someone tell me u see the vision
"The Place Where He Inserted the Blade" is more headcanon/my interpretation but im just gonna focus on the parts that i think everyone can agree on. first 2 lines arent super applicable to mystra but ig i can rationalize it as her being detached from the world/not rlly participating (i.e. why didnt mystra just stop the absolute herself (im aware its because ao doesn't like it when they meddle, im smoking that true forgotten realms pack trust me)). but the MAIN part of this song that is so gale to me is the vines breaking bones, bones heal, our school friends sign our cast on the playground, my body is yours. like holy shit being a chosen of mystra is a huge fucking deal and despite the pain it can cause (that he doesnt even notice because "tied me up slow with your vine stuff / it takes a few years") but it's definitely encouraged among wizards/mages in any circles he was in and by elminster ("we tell all our school friends / and they sign our cast in the playground"), then of course the last line breaks my heart. rest of the song is also rlly fucking good please listen to this album.
"Snow Globes" has more religious imagery but tbh i dont know precisely how i feel about it in relation to gale so im just gonna skip it
"Basketball Shoes" shows a more hopeful future but still #suffering because thats just how it is. concorde being mystra/his relationship to her tears his life to shreds, defines his life, leaving him with nothing. keeps seeing her everywhere (wizard stuff, his damn earring, he's always saying "by mystra" like bro you're intersecting at the market town on purpose atp (i get it)). i interpret the part after that line break (idk why genius doesnt just say its a different verse, don't quote me on this idk anything about music theory) as post-game where he's still Not Great but it's better and moving on, there is a future. doesn't look to mystra anymore (throughout album especially in good will hunting and bread song the s/o is mentioned through headphones, wifi passwords, phone calls, so "never look at our phones anymore" means he isn't thinking of her anymore or trying to curry her favor).
alsoooo should mention that i didn't include the part of "The Place Where He Inserted the Blade" that mentions a lunch metaphor in relation to panic attacks and possible cheating so the "feelin kinda normal with a packed lunch" is doubly meaningful, he isn't freaking out while making lunch anymore
this verse is tav (or whoever u romance as gale origin idgaf)/gale as he is trying to find a new object of devotion in his romance. "the clamp" could be many things, from reminders of mystra to all his perceived inadequacies to lost opportunity to become a god w/ the crown of karsus.
third section of the song im kind of undecided on w/ gale like we got the religious imagery again, could interpret "generous loan/crippling interest" as mystra's deal for him to return the crown of karsus in exchange for no orb. but yea idk yet
and that is the entire album (- chaos space marine, i didn't really think of anything related to gale when listening to it but it's still a great song, PLEASE listen to this album). so yeah if im horribly wrong on any of my takes be sure to send me hatemail k thanks bye
#to be fair i can't tell how much of this is me projecting onto gale#me 🤝 gale#pretentious ambitious probably autistic nerds who love with unspeakable devotion#anyways#gale dekarios#bg3#Spotify#apologies for the first incarnation of this post#where i did not know how to add the “keep reading” thing#im new here ok
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