#like if you’re going to waste your money on stupid things at least let them be cool stupid things

[hedgewitchnecromancer]

More super rich people should be funding science towards bioluminescent plants. Like, c’mon. How cool would your house parties be if you turned off the lights and your floor plant became a lamp?

[rafesangelita]

₊˚⊹˚ 𐙚 𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐨

pairing: dark!rafe x fem!kook!reader

summary: ❝you’re so art deco, out on the floor. shining like gun metal, cold and unsure.❞ — your attempt to cut things off with rafe only fuels him to come back with a vengeance.

warnings: friends w benefits, rafe is terrible, jealousy, manipulation, arguing at a party, topper kisses you, fighting, rafe ‘breaking’ in your house

word count: 2.6k

a/n: i’m trying to focus on writing less smut but my next few works will be nsfw for sureeee, i hope you enjoy <3 series masterlist

“i have to get going.” you were still going through the aftershocks of your orgasm when rafe started pulling his clothes back on. even though this wasn’t anything new, it didn’t make you feel any better. you watched him, sitting up with the sheets covering your chest. “see you tonight?” he was looping his belt when he sighed. “we’ll see.” he shrugged, not sparing you another glance before leaving you altogether.

your friends would be so disappointed in you right now if you told them that you allowed yourself to go through this again. “you’re so stupid.” you muttered to yourself, quickly making your way to a shower, wanting nothing more than to wash the feeling of him off. you knew rafe would never take you serious, but you liked him so much that if having a no strings attached arrangement was the only way you could have him, you were willing to do just that. you wouldn’t let yourself cry over him, but you did go through the motions each time.

you’d swear you would tell him you didn’t want to do this anymore, but the second he was in your ear, whispering to you all the ways he wanted to take you, you never failed to bend at his will, quite literally. tomorrow would be the first day of spring break, so in your best friend’s fashion, it was only right to throw a complete rager with open invitation. you spent the remainder of your evening getting ready before chloe texted you that she was outside.

“you look insane?! are you serious?” chloe’s jaw hung open as you walked to her car. “this isn’t the y/n i know. what did you do with her?” you laughed, giving your friend a spin. you were wearing a lacey black see through dress, and a matching black set underneath. “good girl is staying in tonight.” you posed as chloe snapped a picture of you. “you look so hot, i love it.” she ushered you into the passenger seat, both of you riding back to her place. “fuck, it’s this packed already?” you got off, the heel of your boots clicking against the cement of her driveway. “just wait till you see inside.” she warned.

sure enough, you were greeted with the sight of at least a hundred people in the living room alone. chloe took your arm with hers, weaving through the crowd of people. you met with some more friends, everyone ogling your outfit since it was a drastic change from what you’d usually wear. “don’t let rafe see you in this.” at the mention of his name, you felt your stomach drop as you looked around towards the kitchen. “has anyone seen him? he’s the last person i want to run into right now.” you accepted the drink one of your friends came back with.

“oh, you don’t have to worry about that, he’s been pretty occupied out on the balcony.” hannah raised her eyebrows, the girls looking at you for your reaction. “occupied?” you took a sip from the red solo cup in your hand. even though you didn’t want to see him, you didn’t want him with anyone else either. “topper and kelce are betting a whole bunch of money on a card game, apparently rafe is too.. just with a random sitting on his lap while he does it.” you licked your lips, nodding your head slowly as chloe watched you carefully.

“that’s cute.” without wasting another second, you started walking upstairs, your friends trailing behind you. chloe’s balcony was connected to the master bedroom, the double doors wide open for anyone to come in and out of. your eyes fell on rafe, the blonde draped across his lap was no one you’ve ever seen before. she was most defintely a touron. you walked outside, the guys so into their game that no one looked up from their cards. “hey.” you smiled sweetly at the girl across from you as you did the last thing you thought you’d do tonight, and sat on topper’s lap.

“well you look really good.” you hit his shoulder playfully, meeting rafe’s heated gaze when he did a double take. “aw, thank you ‘top. you wouldn’t mind if i sat here, would you?” you trailed your fingertips across his chest, a teasing smile gracing your lips as you watched how nervous you made him. “o-of course not, maybe you could be my lucky charm.” he showed you his cards, the giant stack of cash in the middle of the table catching your eye. “who’s winning right now?” even though you asked topper directly, rafe answered. “i am.” your head shot in his direction, his hand running up and down the girls thigh. okay..

“i’m sorry, i’ve never seen you around here, like ever,” you laughed, “do you have a name?” the girl looked embarrassed as you gave her a once over, her body visibly tensing the longer you stared at her. “i’m just going to go get another drink.” she got up, leaving rafe by himself as he shot daggers at you. diverting your gaze back to topper’s cards, you whispered in his ear to put down the ace. “that’s the winning card.” you reassured him, moving your hips slightly as you put the card down yourself, rafe following suit. “whoever has the highest gets the green, baby,” kelce leaned forward as you and rafe flipped your cards over. “fuck yeah!” topper shot up from the couch, holding you against him as you cheered.

“five thousand dollars, all yours ‘top.” kelce’s smile dropped as he glanced over at rafe. “let’s go!” before you could pull away, completing your mission to piss rafe off, topper grabbed a handful of your ass before kissing you roughly. “oh, fuck no,” rafe grabbed topper by his shirt, pushing you out of the way as he landed a punch square in his mouth. you sat there dumbfounded as kelce rushed to break them apart. “i don’t give a fuck about a few thousand dollars, keep your hands to yourself or i’ll fucking kill you!” before you could get up, rafe dragged you away by your arm. “leave her alone!” chloe shoved rafe, who didn’t even budge before taking you outside to the front.

“what the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he backed you up against one of the cars, his arms caging you in. “you trying to fuck my friends now? that’s what you want, huh?” you turned your head away from where he was grabbing your chin. “don’t touch me.” you swatted his hand away. “sitting on topper’s lap? what’s your fucking problem?” his knees dug into your thighs, your last band of resistance snapping. “you’re my fucking problem!” you pushed his chest, causing him to stumble back a few steps.

“you tell me that you don’t want a relationship, but then freak out like this? meanwhile you’re still going around doing whoever you want? i hate this rafe! you don’t even look at me afterwards, how do you think that makes me feel?” he stared at you, his jaw ticking as you kept the tears from falling down your face. “this isn’t about you not being able to commit to someone, this is about you keeping me to yourself and having me around only when it benefits you. i’m done.” you didn’t allow him to respond, chloe jogging up to you just in time.

“you okay?” she pushed your hair out of your face. “can you just take me home please?” your best friend didn’t hesitate, walking you down the driveway before yelling; “get the fuck off of my property, asshole!” making you laugh softly. “fuck him. don’t let him have access to you anymore until he proves to you that he can take you serious. you deserve a million times better than that.” once the car door shut, you let the water works loose. after reassuring chloe that you’ll be okay by yourself, she finally let you off the car, not driving off until she watched you go inside.

your phone started chiming with new messages, all of them from rafe.

[10:47 PM] rafe <3: can we please talk about this?

[10:47 PM] rafe <3: that touron came onto me first, alright? you could ask topper.

[10:48 PM] rafe <3: actually, don’t talk to topper at all.

[10:48 PM] rafe <3: y/n i know i fucked up alright, please call me. or at least let me go over, let me make this up to you, let me make you feel good..

you scoffed at the last message. that’s all you were to him, a good fuck. nothing more, nothing less. you blocked his number, deciding to call it a night. you would have to be joining your parents tomorrow for the country club’s annual luncheon, which you were sure rafe would be at as well. you spent the rest of the night regretting your decision to get rafe riled up, topper kissed you for crying out loud. you made a vow to yourself, swearing you’d never do anything outlandish to get anyone’s attention, especially rafe’s.

-

“you ignoring me now?” you sucked in a breath, not daring to turn around and face the one man you couldn’t handle to see at the moment. “leave me alone, rafe. seriously.” you walked faster, hoping to reach the main dining room before he yanked you back. “blocking my number and my instagram? i didn’t think you had it in you.” you scoffed, looking up at him as he smiled, shaking his head. “didn’t think i had it in me?” you arched a brow, prying his grip off of your arm.

“come on, y/n,” he looked around, placing a hand on your hip, “we both know no contact isn’t going to work. i’ll show up at your house if i have to.” you didn’t doubt his words for one second, but the fact that he felt this comfortable dismissing your feelings was enough for you to realize what you had to do; tear down his ego. “and why wouldn’t it work? because you wouldn’t have anyone to run to when your daddy makes you cry?” rafe visibly recoiled, his hand moving as if touching you burned him.

“what the fuck did you just say?” his eyes narrowing down at you. “you heard me. it seems like you forgot we were best friends before we started having sex,” you laughed bitterly, “what happened? lost respect for me or something?” not being able to be in his presence for one more second, you left and met your parents at their table. for the rest of the luncheon, you could feel rafe’s gaze piercing through your skin. you knew you struck a chord, but it was all true.

“me and your father will be going to the mainland for the next few days for business, will you be joining us?” your mother’s voice snapped you out of your reverie. “chloe’s only here for a week before she goes back to uni so i’m gonna stay.” she nodded. “alright, i’ll have the driver take you home then, and sweetie,” she leaned in close, “you might want to see what that cameron boy wants, he hasn’t taken his eyes off of you since you sat down.” you glanced up, your stomach dropping at the sight of him. “it’s complicated.” you whispered, you and your mother getting up to leave.

the ride back was quick, your parents letting you know they’ll call you when they get off the ferry. you were about to walk inside before you noticed the door cracked open. what the hell? you turned around to see if your parents were still there, but the car was already gone. you tried to brush it off, going in cautiously. it was still early in the day, the sun still shining brightly overhead. you made your way to the security system, your eyebrows knitting in confusion when you saw it had already been reset. “that’s impossible..” you whispered, jumping when you heard a clash come from upstairs.

you stood frozen, debating if you should run out or go check for yourself. the last thing you wanted to do was call the cops and it wasn’t anything to worry about. you cursed to yourself, slowly making your way upstairs. “is someone here?” you called out, opening the room doors and looking them over. obviously you expected no one to answer, but you still felt relieved when you saw that nothing was out of place. that was until you got to your room, where one side of your bed looked like someone had been laying in it.

you ran your hand over the sheets, the soft material still warm. “i told you i was gonna show up to your house if i had to.” your head shot up to your bathroom, rafe leaning against the doorframe. “what are you doing?” your heart was beating in your ears, his gaze making you feel powerless in this situation. “i’ve been a dick to you, i’ll admit that. i’ll apologize for that. i’m sorry, y/n, i really am,” he started moving towards you, “and you know what? you’re right. it is about me wanting to keep you to myself.” rafe a took a seat in front of you. “i want to work on this. i want us to work together, we could really make this a good thing.” you didn’t know you were crying until rafe wiped the tear from your eye.

“you’re lying to me.” you shook your head, pushing his hand away. a flash of hurt passed over rafe’s face. “i wouldn’t lie to you about this. i’m not as cold and unsure as you think i am.” his hands rested on your thighs. “i can’t even put into words how bad i wanted to hurt topper last night when i saw you sitting on him, and when he grabbed you and kissed you? i wouldn’t have stopped punching him if kelce didn’t get in the middle.” you listened, eventually relaxing under his touch. “i will do everything i have to do to prove to you i’m serious about this. about us.” he started moving closer, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear.

“what do you say, baby?” you swallowed, sitting in thought for a moment. this was all you ever wanted from rafe. the sincerity, the reciprocation. “you promise?” your voice was shaky, his eyes softening as he pulled you against his chest. “you have my fucking word.” he whispered against your skin, his hand running up and down your back. you smiled, pressing a kiss to his adam’s apple. slowly, he brought his hands up to your shoulders, his fingers running through your hair before you felt him gripping your neck. “as much as i want to take you slow, i have to punish you for saying what you did at the countryclub.” your eyes fluttered shut as rafe laid you down, his knee wedging itself between your thighs.

“say it again.” his hand was still wrapped around your neck as you looked up at him with tear clad eyes. “rafe..” he smiled, the action that usually has your heart melting, now had a shiver running down your spine. “say it.” rafe said through gritted teeth. you shuddered, ultimately giving in. “i told you, you wouldn’t have anyone to run to if your dad made you cry again,” saying it to him after you resolved things just felt cruel now. “and that was very insensitive of me, i’m sorry.” rafe shushed you. “it’s alright.. i’m gonna make you regret opening your mouth at all.”

[forthevillains]

Ok so here’s my idea… came from a video where a man hires a “wife” and pretends to have a loving family in order to get a promotion from his boss. The “wife” decides to play along and even refuses to get paid for it. The man falls in love with her eventually cause she’s so kind to him.

So i was thinking… what if Wesker had to hire someone to be his significant other to attend a big event/party held by Umbrella? Then he fell in love with her? Imagine he was forced to participate but didn’t expect to meet his love in a boring party 😭

This sounds crazy and kinda cringe but this got me so excited lol

I wanted to write something like that for so long so I feel u! I added a few things to make it work in my head so I hope you don’t mind🫶 (I wrote this while being sick so if anything doesn’t make sense, I apologize)

It was a very important evening to all workers of Umbrella. Everyone was invited and well, the more known they were, the more important their presence would be. Everyone was allowed and not just that - they were expected to bring their other halves, significant others. Wesker wouldn’t care at first. He didn’t want to come anyway, he thought of it as a waste of time, so why should he care? Though when he tried to talk to Spencer, to convince him that he could use that time to work on the research instead, it was to no avail. All Spencer did was tell him to bring some girl too.

Wesker’s annoyance and anger got the best of him. If people thought of him as grumpy before, he’s become an absolute Satan now. Especially when he got to know that he’s to take a woman to the party. Why would he do that anyway? He doesn’t have one, he doesn’t need one, it all sounded so stupid. Is he supposed to find a girlfriend that quick only to dump her as soon as it’s over? No that would be even more stupid.

Wesker knew he had to appear eventually and if he was to do so, he needed someone to act as his partner. An act is all it has to be…

Suddenly an idea popped into his mind. A genius one to be exact. He never thought that he’d come to do something like that, but the opportunity like this could not be wasted. If he didn’t have a spouse, he would simply hire one. And who would be better for the job than someone he already knows? Someone who’s worked for him for a while undercover, someone who always gets the job done - you.

"What the fuck did you just say?!” You nearly choked on your coffee when Wesker informed you about the situation through the phone.

"Just one night, you’re going to act like a girlfriend of mine, be nice to whoever talks to you and at least pretend to have manners. That shouldn’t be a problem, right?” He explains once more, his lips curving into a wicked smile at your reaction. You two weren’t on best terms exactly, but he was willing to pay how much you asked and you were willing to do any filthy job for him. You worked perfectly fine, however only as partners at work.

"I’m an agent, Wesker, not some of your whor-“

"How much do you want, dear?“ he interrupted you. He knew you couldn’t say no to such an easy job. All you wanted was money and he was willing to deliver. So you agreed, though you knew he wouldn’t make it easy for you.

You two made the deal and of course, he wouldn’t let you drown in your own questions about the evening, so you were properly informed, even gifted what you were to wear.

For the whole evening you tried not to leave Wesker’s side. As if he’d let you anyway. You knew what Umbrella was and if you felt anything apart from disgust as you entered, hand in hand with the head researcher, it was curiosity. You were nervous, yet made sure to be observant. It was your first time in there, although you’ve been working with Wesker for a while.

It didn’t take much time for people to notice you, their gazes not leaving you for even a second as realization of who you’re there with hit them. Some of them whispered to each other, some just stared in a surprise. It’s not like anyone would expect Albert Wesker himself to be close to someone, especially in a romantic kind of way. He was a loner, someone who didn’t trust anybody apart from himself, who only talked to two people more than was necessary.

Soon you met a few other scientists and you could feel how Albert was tense as he held you, his arm around your waist, gripping onto you tightly whenever someone was talking to you. You looked at him each time he did that only to find out that he was paying you no other attention. Or so you thought.

It was only about time you let loose finding out that there was no catch as you might’ve thought at first. You’ve began to seek fun instead of possible threats. Though when you were ready to leave Albert’s side he only tightened his grip on you, stopping you immediately.

"What do you want now?” You raised an eyebrow.

"You’re staying here with me like a good loving girlfriend would,” Wesker immediately replied.

"Oh right… I should’ve expected that if you had a girlfriend you’d treat her like a dog.” Your words were harsh and inappropriate, but that was the way you are - honest whenever you could. And since no one could hear the two of you as you kept the distance, you said what was on your mind.

"How I would treat a woman is none of your concerns. You’re staying here.” What you didn’t know is that he wanted you by his side to avoid any unnecessary interaction with others. There were too many people that despised him and it wouldn’t be far from truth that he felt the same way towards them, if not even worse. He needed you, you were the most comfort he could have there even if you were just an agent who happened to work for him.

"Albert! I-I mean we have been looking for you.” It’s no surprise that William with his wife appeared, but it almost made you jump, which made them turn towards you. "And who is this?”

Wesker let you introduce yourself on your own, to make it more difficult for you, grinning at you the whole time. It was quite entertaining seeing you struggle with saying out loud that you’re his girlfriend. You surely needed a shot after that. And this time, he even let you go. Which was probably not the best idea. You didn’t get too drunk, but enough to be a little tipsy.

You roamed around like a lost puppy, telling yourself that you were looking for toilets, but deep inside you knew you just grew more curious knowing this place is free for you to explore without any restraints. However Albert never really let you out of his sight. His shades were very good at hiding his eyes so that no one knew he wasn’t listening to them at all, that he didn’t even look them in the eyes as he shook their hands. You were his girlfriend for the day and he would not risk anything knowing how much you loved to play games with him. Even though he loved it too…

When you disappeared in the hallway, he was right behind you, immediately pinning you to the nearest wall. "Where do you think you’re going, dearheart?”

You gasped at the impact and looked up at him. "I needed to pee,” you said.

Wesker looked you up and down, thinking whether to trust you or not. But no matter how hard he tried to do just that, his eyes got stuck on how beautiful the dress made you look, especially in the cleavage area.

"My eyes are up here, Wesker,” you frowned. You maybe couldn’t see his eyes but you sure felt his burning gaze on your skin and the way his head was tilted downwards also hinted where he was really looking.

"Really?” Now he looked into your eyes and you wished nothing more than to see his own in that moment. Drunk or not, you’d always appreciate Wesker when he wasn’t acting like a grumpy old man.

He leaned forward, his nose brushing against your cheek lightly, before he whispered "I apologize, my dear, I didn’t know.” His words sent shivers down your spine and you tried to make a step back, even though you were so close to the wall it almost hurt your back. That made him smirk.

Wesker was never a touchy person, but right now, after he had few glasses of wine himself, he couldn’t resist the way you looked, not only talking about how good you smelled. And you were all his, for this night at least. Before you got the chance to ask him what the hell is he doing, he gently kissed your cheek, his lips slowly moving towards your jaw. He found it adorable when you threw your head back to give him more access, sliding a hand to your lower back to support your trembling body.

"This wasn’t part of the deal,” you choked out, trying your best to not let out any sound of pleasure.

"I feel like this is what couples do, though. Don’t you think so too?” His mouth moved even lower, his tongue caressing your skin before he nibbled at your neck lightly, drawing another gasp out of you. He felt unprofessional, he was suddenly nothing but a man in need. How the hell did you taste so sweet?

He began to kiss your neck, too caught up in the moment, in how good you tasted. His teeth kept grazing your skin, over and over again, teasing you, leaving you scared whether he would sink them into your neck like a vampire or not. You didn’t even want to think about it, because if you did - you’d probably come to conclusion that you like it.

Though, instead of sinking his teeth into you, he sucked in your delicate skin, forcing a moan out of you. It flattered him, it really did. The way you squirmed in his arms, the way your heartbeat quickened, breath ragged and pupils dilated… He was too caught up in all that, he got carried away (or maybe he did it on purpose).

Suddenly an echo of steps could be heard and he was forced to pull away from you, as a few of his co-workers walked by, already giving the two of you disgusted looks. Wesker only nodded at them to get going before turning back to you.

"That was a mistake.” He spoke, breathless, one of his palms already on your cheek, gently caressing it. And it meant one thing - he didn’t mean the words. All of his actions sold him out. No matter what he’d say, it wouldn’t save him now. No matter how calm he acted.

You were a totally different case though, your head was dizzy and you couldn’t tell if what just happened was real or a dream. You felt like you were floating, but still, you nodded. "We should… get back,” you then muttered and tried to make a step forward, but your knees failed you and you almost fell to the ground. If it wasn’t for your boyfriend for the night who quickly caught you. "Sorry.” You only added. He couldn’t comprehend whether it was the alcohol or his doings that got you like that, but he somehow found it cute. But you could never know, he was too good at hiding his own feelings.

When you got back, it was all the same, except for a few details that you probably wouldn’t even be able to catch. Wesker’s hold on you was firm, yet gentle, his gaze kept drifting towards you as he scanned your body language to know if you’re alright. He was trying to see if the moment the two of you had did leave a mark on you only physically or also mentally. He wanted to know how you felt. But he wouldn’t dare ask, not in front of all these people. So he just waited for the end of the night. Only taking in how beautiful you looked, how well you talked your way out of all the questions even with alcohol in your system. He truly admired your talents, how well you worked with people. Though what he enjoyed the most was your warmth. Something he hasn’t felt for a while as he was a workaholic, with no time for lovers, not even affairs. He thought he didn’t need physical touch, but your body next to his felt perhaps too good.

Finally, it was over. You were able to say goodbyes to the very few people that dared approach you, before the two of you finally left the building, both glad it was finally over. The silence between you was uncomfortable, tense and even though you wanted to speak up, you were afraid of making it all just worse. You might’ve talked your way out of discussions about opinions on animal or human testing, but for sure you couldn’t find one good word in a conversation with the man beside you.

Only when you two entered the car, Wesker in driver’s seat and you in passenger seat, then he sighed in relief as it was just the two of you. And that alone made you speak up.

"Don’t say anything, whatever it is, I don’t wanna talk about it, I’m too done for that,” you say before he has the chance to say anything and for once he gives up, knowing that it must’ve been draining for you. Especially knowing that you hate special occasions and tight dresses. But you still did it, for him. And also for money, but that didn’t really seem that important to you as you’ve actually quite enjoyed his company (you wouldn’t admit it though).

Wesker started the car and let you be without any other words. He wanted to give you space after what happened and so he did. You were quick to fall asleep in your seat, making it easier for him to look at you without being seen at all. His eyes kept drifting towards your neck the most and it took all his self control not to grin at the hickeys. God did he want to do it again.

His first intentions were to bring you to your house and drop you off in there, but as you slept in the seat next to him, he changed his mind. You were going home with him whether you liked it or not. He paid you for the whole night anyway, so you couldn’t say a word against it even if you were awake.

If you were still asleep when he got home, he’d carefully take you in his arms and carry you all the way to his bed. You might wake up alone the next day, but you’d surely know who was the one to take care of you. And even though he wouldn’t dare admit any feelings towards you just yet, he’s surely going to be way more gentle with you from now on…

[beefrobeefcal]

Malicious Compliance feat. Dieter Bravo & gn!reader

Summary: Dieter is a difficult human sometimes.

Pairing: Dieter x gn!reader | Rating: Teen but still MDNI | Word Count: 813

Content Warnings: obscene amount of money spent on undies, boner, dieter being a little shit, brief mention of past drug and alcohol use,

Author's Notes: for my beloved @perotovar - they gifted me the following:

weirdly particular about his underwear. will only wear brand new ones, out of the pack. that is, when he wears underwear ofc

and I ran with it. apologies for how stupid this is.

Thank you to @strang3lov3 and @jennaispunk for their eyes.

No more tag lists - follow @beefnotes + turn on notifications for fic updates!

This needed to stop. 

You’d gotten a notification for another shipment from NADS for 300 pairs of underwear, totalling just shy of $10,000. 

You stared at the email in front of you, eyes weary, debating if this was really the man you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. 

*****

Dieter had grown up with parents who enabled every curiosity and quirk he had, both being creatives in the entertainment industry. That, combined with the late-diagnosed ADHD and self medicating with drugs and alcohol for decades, had resulted in some interesting coping mechanisms and fixations. The one currently causing the biggest rift was his malicious compliance. 

“I can’t do it!”, he dramatically screeched from the top of the stairs. He was wearing your feather trimmed housecoat and a speedo, staring down at you with a scowl when you asked him to please wear the ridiculously expensive underwear at least three times. 

“Dee baby -”, you pleaded with him from the foyer below. “Honey, this is getting ridicu-”

“No!”, he barked, picking up the housecoat and marching down the stairs. “No, I have done what you asked and now you’re giving me shit for it!”

“Dieter, I am trying to work with you here.” Your tone grew firmer and louder to match his energy. “But when you spend almost $10,000 on underwear that won’t even last you six months then have a weekly fucking burning party to ‘do away with’ the ones you wore?? It is too much!”

You watched him continue to stomp down the stupidly long, curved staircase, face bunched in frustration. 

“I don’t like wearing them more than once and you said -”, he snipped, pointing at you as he got closer. “- you said I had to start wearing underwear and not go freeballing in public!”

You could hear the pinch in his voice that he got when he was getting worked up (and maybe a bit irrational) over being called out on something. 

You were getting close to being at your wit’s end. Taking a deep breath to try and calm down, you softened your tone, and gently gripped the finger he was pointing at you, pulling and guiding him closer. “Baby - Dieter, I know I asked you wear underwear when you go out, but this is wasteful and -”

Dieter stomped his foot. “Fuck the planet!”

You paused at his outburst and you desperately tried to hide the smile working its way onto your face. Dieter was a lot of things but not being eco-conscious was not one of them. You knew you had to try a different tactic.

“Dieter baby…”, you cooed, stepping closer to him. “I know you don’t like being told what to do, but the paps got a picture of you leaving the gym. In shorts. Mid stride.”  You tilted your head and smiled softly at him. “You know what I’m talking about.”

He sighed, a frustrated release of tension shivered out of his body and he rolled his eyes. “I know! They saw my balls and the tip. But it was just the tip!  No shaft! No pubes!”

You raised your brows at him, letting him know silently that you were not agreeing with him, nor letting him off the hook with that weak argument.

He huffed and stomped his foot again. “Jesus fucking Christ! I just -”. 

But it was all for not; as soon as he locked eyes with you, he groaned, closing his eyes and tipping his head back, then let out a huff as his shoulders dropped. 

“Why can’t I just do what I want?”, he whined, trying to keep his frown from breaking into a smile as he pulled you into his arms. 

You grinned and kissed his forehead, then peppered your kisses down the bridge of his nose and to his lips. “Because you’re voicing a fox in a family friendly movie and flashing people your dick and balls in short-shorts is not good PR.”

He sighed and you could feel him smile against your mouth, murmuring. “You could be on to something.”

You opened your mouth to speak and Dieter took the opportunity to kiss you deeply, his tongue pushing in against yours. He held you firmly against him and you could feel his length hardening against your lower abdomen. 

You knew he knew exactly what he was doing. He knew you’d caught on to his malicious compliance and he was trying to woo you away from poking further at his flawed logic.

Dammit. You loved him too much for it not to work. 

*****

After the 300 pairs of NADS underwear manifested on your porch, you were happy to see that Dieter was wearing each pair more than once. 

But what you were not happy about were the next round of pap photos of Dieter leaving the gym wearing only a huge grin and his underwear - nothing else.

No more tag lists - follow @beefnotes + turn on notifications for fic updates!

[hannie-dul-set]

karma comes in the form of vehicular accidents and designer leather jackets. — [preview].

SYNOPSIS. when you’re nearly run over by a car, and said car happens to be a porsche 918 spyder, your broke ass knows better than to let this one in a million miracle slip by. 

PAIRING. shen quanrui x female! reader. GENRE. emotionally-stunted idiots to lovers, implied college! au, rich boy x not-so-rich girl trope but neither of them are normal! they’re both not well adjusted! mc is an actual scammer and ricky’s love language is throwing out exorbitant amounts of cash, romance, humor, angst if you squint but i prefer it when things are stupid, suggestive. WARNINGS. swearing, probably a number of illegal things, dubious medical practices, scamming, gold-digging, mild manipulation, a not very healthy dynamic at first but we’ll get there, more tba. WORD COUNT. teaser: 915 | full fic: est. 15-18k.

RELEASE DATE. within january, maybe. TAGLIST. send an ask/dm/reply to be added.

NOTE. hello riyangi nation i have another insanity-driven wip to offer. hopefully i go crazy again and write 4-5k a day like my last ricky longfic HAHAHHAHAH. this one has a bit more plot, a bit more seriousness, but still on the spectrum of unhinged!!! hope u enjoy.

preview under the cut.

IT’S A DOG EAT DOG WORLD OUT THERE. You’ve learned this lesson time and time again, ever since the early age of six— when your father got kicked out from his own start-up thanks to his greedy cousins, when you got in trouble for punching a classmate in first grade because he lifted up your skirt but the fucker was the grandson of your primary school’s dead, and when your high school scholarship got screwed over because “your parents unfortunately don’t support the school enough,” and you flipped off your home teacher all while calling him an ass-kissing, money-grabbing piece of shit.

Well, you were forced to transfer after that.

At least your new school didn’t base their scholarship grants on fucking PTA donations instead of grades.

From then on, you’ve learned that the only way to survive is to screw people over before getting screwed over yourself. There’s no point being nice. You can’t bother being a doormat to people who don’t even contribute a cent to your rent. You’re not wasting your smiles for people you can’t use.

Maybe it’s how you’ve grown to be so opportunistic, because the moment you and a friend were told that only one of you could get a full ride to Yonsei University— you didn’t think twice to cut him off. You stopped sharing your notes. You stopped studying together because why should you be nice to your competition? He was more well off than you anyway. His future doesn’t rely on handouts like it yours does. 

Bottomline, yes, you’re not the nicest person in the world. Sure, you screwed over some strangers opting to go to the same job interview as you by giving them the wrong directions. Maybe you cut yourself off from your parents the moment you turned legal when their debt started getting to them and they started relying on you to get out of the pitfall instead of pulling their own fucking weigh. Yes, you’re not a good person. You’re fully aware of that.

Which is why you can’t exactly say fuck you to god when karma comes to bite you in the ass via a car accident on your way to your weekend work shift.

The dead and quiet road you usually cross is now filled with noises of panic.

“Oh my god— dude! Call an ambulance!”

Your lungs hit asphalt and your head starts ringing. A pained hiss slips through gritted teeth. Something’s broken, you grunt, or at the very least not how it should be based on the sharp pain you’re feeling on the arm wedged between your body and the rough and dusty road. “Are they dead?!” you hear someone yell, followed by a car door swinging and footsteps running closer, yet your eyes remain squeezed shut from the blinding headlights and the aching of your entire body.

But it’s not the pain you’re dwelling on. No. It’s the hospital bills and the inevitable days off you’d have to take thanks to your god forsaken fucking luck.

The car should’ve just killed you on the spot.

“Are you okay?!”

However when you finally open your eyes and recognize the embodiment of your karma body slamming you into the ground in the form of a freaking Porsche, your worries suddenly get washed away into oblivion.

Holy shit, you’re fully conscious now. You’ve just hit the jackpot.

“O—oh, she’s awake, she’s awake! Gyuvin—”

Whoa.

There’s a person hovering above you. Rather, the person’s gold gilded necklace is dangling in front of your face. This is more than a jackpot. This is better that the fucking lottery.

“What—what do I do?”

“Is she responsive?!”

“U—uhm— are you okay?” Pretty boy that you assume is the one who nearly killed you is flitting his eyes in panic and is unsure with what to do with his hands. His face aside, the guy is decked out in designer clothing. You don’t miss the engravings on his jacket, the shiny glints of gold coiled around his panicked fingers. You’re not letting his chance slip away. You let out a grunt of pain and start folding into yourself. “Ahh, I don’t think she’s okay! What’s the number for 119?!”

Half acting. Half actually fucking hurting because ow. Maybe you did break something.

“I don’t know! Taerae, what’s the number for—”

“Are you two stupid?!”

Well shit. The pain stops paining because if they bring you to a hospital different from the one you have in mind, it’d be a loss for you. So you play it up even more. “A—ah, I think something’s broken,” you wince. Pretty boy drops his phone and tries helping you prop yourself up. 

“Crap. I think it’ll take too long if we call an ambulance,” says one of his companions behind him. “H—hey, do you mind if we just take you to the hospital right now?”

Now, this doesn’t sound safe. Around three men in their early twenties with very evidently no first aid experience delivering an injured woman to the hospital with what you think is a two-seater car is a recipe for disaster. You’re still on the dirty ground, arm definitely broken, with a rich guy looking like he’s about to start crying at any moment very hesitantly trying his best to help you sit up.

They’re waiting for your answer. And the answer is pretty obvious.

“Yes, please. Thank you!”

Because if you get even more injured along the way, that’ll simply be an extra bonus for you.

karma comes in the form of vehicular accidents and designer leather jackets. © hannie-dul-set, 2024.

[angelicyouth]

Youth ; Chapter 3

⇢ pairing: kenny mccormick x marsh!reader x craig tucker

⇢ synopsis: ❝Growing up with the boys as the sole girl of the group, it was only natural for them to grow protective over their pseudo-little sister as the years went by.❞

⇢ warning: descriptions of a panic attack

⇢ [AO3 link] ; [series masterlist] ; [previous] ; [next]

A cacophony of voices fight to be heard over the other, everyone shit talking around the game of Mario Kart that’s currently set up in our living room. The boys and I watch as the four players duke it out on the big screen, witnesses to a friendship-breaking competition.

Loud stomping abruptly interrupts the taunts, “Y/N! What the hell? Is that my fucking shirt that you’re wearing?” My brother violently hollers from his spot, standing halfway down the stairs to peer down at the rest of us.

“The one you’ve been looking for all morning? Yup.” I lazily drawl from my spot on the couch, obnoxiously popping the “p” in my reply. My head slightly shifts as Tweek attempts to neatly braid my hair, Butters gently coaching him from the side.

“You’re a fucking asshole, you know that? Made me waste a bunch of time looking for nothing.” Stan continues as he finishes his journey down the stairs.

“You act like you have better things to do, loser. No girlfriend, no job—nada. So I don’t see what the big deal is. Are you on your period or something?” An accidental sharp tug makes me wince, Tweek muttering apologies as he quickly kisses the top of my head in repentance for his mistake.

“Shut up! Quit stealing my shit!” He's standing off to the side of the couch now, eyebrows furrowed and arms crossed.

I glare at Stan and say around a mouthful of orange chicken at the top of my lungs. “Quit stealing my weed then!”

”God, you’re such a fucking pothead!” He shouts, fists clenching in anger.

”Says the alcoholic who starts his day with a shot!” It’s a low blow but all I can see is red.

“Bro, quit being a whiny bitch. You’re not dirt poor like Kinny. Just buy a new one.” Said blonde flashes Cartman his middle finger so he rolls his eyes and attempts to correct himself. “What? Fine, at least you weren’t born ginger and a Jew like Kahl. Talk about a double whammy, I’d honestly kill myself.”

”You don’t need a reason to kill yourself, Cartman. Make all of us happy for once and just do it. If you really need a reason, just think about how fat you are and how much wasted space you take up.”

”Aye!”

The match concludes with Jimmy coming out on top and the boys deciding to abandon the game entirely. They resume eating the Chinese takeout that’s laid out on the coffee table in front of them and half-heartedly listen to the sibling’s routine bickering.

“Take it off.” He scoffs at me, face heated with anger. Tolkien rolls his eyes so hard that I’m surprised a headache doesn’t occur.

“Huh?”

“C’mon, Y/N. You’re stupid, not deaf. Want me to ask mom to get you hearing aids? I said: take. It. Off.” Comes out of my brother’s gritted teeth, each word growing more impatient and strained.

“Big deal, Stan! There’s so many other fucking shirts in this house. Feel free to get one from my closet if you need one so bad.” I retort in exasperation, clenching the denim on Tweeks legs that lay on either side of my body in frustration.

“Ack!” The frenzied blond yelps from behind me and I let go, fiddling with the creases on his jeans instead.

“No! Didn’t you hear me, r-tard? It’s mine, I bought it. Now, take it off!” Kyle closes his eyes at the elder Marsh’s words, tired beyond his years.

“Able to throw some money away for a dumb shirt but you can’t even pay me back my hundred dollars.” The local space enthusiast mumbles to himself, a chorus of ‘shut up, Craig!’ resounds from the boys in Team Stan.

“Fine!” I smirk and get off from my perch on the couch, a sly yet very bold idea pops up into my head. The perfect little thing to piss my dear older brother off. If you want petty, I’ll give you petty.

I grab my shirt from the hem and start to slowly lift it off of my frame, quirking a smug eyebrow and taunting my brother with a smile when more skin starts to show.

“Woohoo!” Kenny hollers excitedly at me, his hands in the air.

“F-f-fuck! No! Quit it, will you?! Don’t fucking do that!” Stan pushes those in his way aside and the boys make it hard for him on purpose by sticking out their legs to trip him. My brother scrambles over to me, forcing my hands down.

“Aw. What’s wrong, Stanley? You’re starting to sound a lot like Jimmy, how cute. I thought you wanted your stupid shirt?” I jeer at him. It’s like what Bebe always says: boys never know what they want and that’s the problem with them. Amen, sister.

“Ewww, Marsh. No one wants to see your underdeveloped body.” Craig socks Cartman on the arm, hard and the larger teen squeals like a dying pig.

“Don’t listen to them, sexy! Keep on going!” Clyde joins in laughing, sliding off his jacket and twirling it over his head in support of the apparent stripping going on.

“You’re voluptuous! Curvaceous! I’m already down on my knees at the sight of you, sweet thang!” Clyde continues to exaggeratedly hype me up, comically imitating the sound of a barking dog afterwards.

“I don’t know how you guys can take her seriously when her hair’s only halfway done. Looks like a damn hippie.” Cartman mumbles, more focused on inhaling his food and rubbing his now sore arm.

“Pffft, b-buh-baby Marsh gone w-wild!” Kung pao chicken accompanies Jimmy’s words of encouragement and he grabs one of his arm crutches, twirling it above his head too. My hands are still at the hem of my shirt, lifted up slightly and exposing a sliver of skin, even when my brother lets go.

I turn my head and catch Craig’s eyes trailing down as he smirks at me, his eyebrows lifted up playfully. A glint in his deep blues as he nonchalantly says, “I wouldn’t mind.”

While I’d normally giggle in amusement at the normally stoic teen and the contribution towards further riling my brother up, my face immediately flushes red after my talk with the girls at the party. I’d say that butterflies are invading my stomach, struggling to break free but it honestly feels like a whole damn zoo down there.

Feeling the adrenaline rush from my brother’s anger, the boys egging me on, and Craig’s attention, my heart beats at record breaking speed and I can feel my cheeks shyly heat up. This development doesn’t go by unnoticed as Kenny stops his playful cheering and laughing, watching the interaction between us two with furrowed brows.

“Fuck off, Tucker. Actually, fuck both of you all the way to hell.” My brother grumbles, angrily throwing himself onto an unoccupied space on the couch with his arms crossed. “It’s the fucking principle of things.”

“Big word, Stanley. Is that your word of the day? Did you learn it from this week’s episode of Sesame Street?” I mock him with a pout in fake sympathy.

“Shut the fuck up before I kick your fucking teeth in!” My brother’s stupid face goes red with anger.

He pouts when Kyle holds him back and rolls his eyes, ever the voice of reason. “They were just joking, Stan.”

“Yeah, Stanley. I was just joking.” My eyes continue to follow Craig as he lifts a bite of food towards his handsome face, wooden chopsticks pressed against his still smirking plush lips.

“Craig.” My brother says sharply this time, straightening up his back to glare at the teen over Cartman’s bigass head. I’m slightly confused as to what’s happening but still loving the attention Craig is giving me.

“Relax, Marsh.” Craig chuckles with a challenging look in his eyes. Tension begins to grow in the room and I’m lost because the other guys would normally laugh at suave shit like that and instigate a fight.

I roll my eyes and figure that it’s just them being overly protective, going back to my spot in between the cute coffee addict’s legs so that he can finish his attempt at doing my hair. Butters has a small braid done in between tufts of silky blonde from when I demonstrated the process to Tweek. He rubs his knuckles together, nervous energy exuding from his body as I return next to him.

・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

The girls excitedly informed me of tryouts and the process, which involves practice with the already established team and the new potential recruits. A week and a half is given to learn a few cheers before the day they hold the official tryouts, which was today. It’s here where I finally meet Nichole Daniels, Tolkien’s girlfriend. It would’ve been nice if he brought her over from time to time but I can understand his vehement refusal of bringing her anywhere near a number of dumb boys. Trouble seems to follow the guys wherever they go.

As promised to the parentals, I attended and it’s not as bad as I thought it would be with the friends I’ve already made being here. I’ve never had problems with dancing as it comes easy to me so it’s nice to just hang out and bask in the feminine energy.

My parent’s request has continued to go under the radar as the boys have been busy with the football season starting. Their practice allows me to not have to think of an excuse for staying out late since they’re already busy, extracurricular activities taking up their time after school as they prepare for the season.

I shove the heavy front doors of the school open, the sun almost fully set as a gradient of red, yellow, and orange bathe me in their hues. The girls always remember to offer me a ride home from their parents but I always politely reject, my guilt not allowing any of them to go out of their way and use their gas on me.

My hands are shoved into my pockets, trying to accumulate as much heat as possible while I begin the journey home. Wisps of fleeting, misty clouds escape from my mouth after each puff of breath I let out and I watch them disappear. I bask in the rare moment of solitude and the quiet that comes with it.

I’m colder than I normally would be tonight because a freshman accidentally spilled her gatorade onto the duffel bag that I’ve been using for cheer. Not only were the sweats that I usually throw on over my shorts drenched in sticky sweetness, but the clothes I wore to school earlier were also an unlucky casualty to the liquid electrolytes.

I wonder if I’ll make the cheer team, I ponder to myself.

The rhythmic sound of my steps on the concrete sidewalk accompany me on my walk and I hum to myself until I hear sharp, rambunctious laughter. I’m startled as my head shoots up and see that across from me in the distance are a group of boisterous, older teens. Fear resounds within me when I faintly remember them terrorizing my brother and friends when they were in the fourth grade, them having been in the sixth at the time.

I pray in my head that they don’t notice me but my prayers go unanswered as they cross the street, now joining me on the same sidewalk. I know I can’t outrun them so I panic and impulsively decide to take a detour, turning right into an alleyway until I dreadfully notice that I can still hear them from behind. What was once just the sound of obnoxious laughter is now the noise of thundering footsteps following closely, beginning to get louder and louder.

My feet hastily pick up their pace and I can feel the tremors reverberate through my now sweating hands, anxiety filling me to the very core. My trembling makes the process of pulling out my phone agonizingly slow and I silently curse at my misfortune.

The white puffs of air that once brought me entertainment on my walk now serve as a reminder of the danger I’m in. Unlike before, they come out of my mouth in quick intervals and I clench my teeth to bid them away.

Out of nowhere, someone roughly yanks on my ponytail and they’re quick to cut off my yelp as a rough hand forces itself onto my mouth. The assailant painfully holds onto my other arm, both grips enforcing excruciating pain.

“Hey, I recognize you. You go to our school, always around those dumb boys.” One of the perpetrators in front of me sneers as he brings his face up to mine, his rancid breath invading my senses and making me feel even sicker than before.  

“Lucky, aren’t we? We got baby Marsh!” Their eyes lighten up in both delight and recognition. I can feel upcoming bile trying to force its way up my throat from hearing the term of endearment the boys call me used like this, the connotation eerie in this situation.

Trying to make a sound is futile as all my cries for help are muffled, my captor getting annoyed at my squirming and relocating his hold on my arm to my neck instead. He squeezes and I whimper in fear, my breathing becomes more desperate when my kicking and elbows do nothing to deter him.

“Why’re you crying? You’re just asking for it when you walk around in fucking shorts. We live in South Park. No one would dress that way outside in the snow if they weren’t a total slut.” They all degradingly mock me, laughter resounding throughout the cold air as foreign fingers begin to play along the edge of my shorts.

“Pffft, dumb bitch.” One of them slaps me just because they have the power to do so in my vulnerable state before squeezing both of my cheeks together with one hand, hard.

“Who wants to go first?” They all fight over the answer to the question and I clench my eyes shut in dread, the color draining from my face.

Before they can do anything, yelling can be heard and I’m dropped by my captor. I stumble to the dirty ground of the alleyway at the loss of my previous support. On the floor, I painfully dig my nails onto my thighs. My breath hitches and my chest tightens, my panicking intensifying despite finally being free.

Short breaths rake through my trembling body and my nails dig deeper. Crescent moons appear on soft skin, invoking blood. My head starts to feel a little light and I try my hardest to calm myself down but it’s to no avail, my attempts prove to be futile. My unoccupied hand trembles as they reach up to touch wet, stinging cheeks. I didn’t even notice that I‘ve begun to sob as every gasp for air racks my body.

“Holy shit.” Varying voices can be heard from around me but my mind barely registers their words as my head continues to feel even lighter than before.

Even though I’m unable to determine whether or not I’m safe, I don’t flinch when someone crouches next to me and hastily crushes me against their hard chest. I’m numb to my surroundings and everything feels distorted. It’s as if I’m underwater, drowning.

“Ack! She’s hyperventilating! Gyah!”

“No fucking shit captain obvious!”

“Shut the fuck up!” The chest I’m against rumbles and my brain finally registers it as the sound of Kenny’s voice. I muster up what little strength I have to look up and see my boys around me. My brother is directly crouched in front of me and from my peripherals, I can just barely see that it’s Kyle in the same position next to him, eyes wide in panic.

“Shit, shit, shit!”

“Fuck! What should we do?!” It’s Tolkien this time but I can’t look away from my brother. My eyes are begging him to do something, anything to make it stop. Oh how I wish twin telepathy were real.

“Breathe, baby. You need to breathe for me.” The world tilts around me as a soothing voice near my ear urges. A resounding gasp of air struggles to be inhaled but it’s too shaky and tears of frustration continue to fall. My breathing isn’t slowing and I just want this to be over.

“Someone needs to do something before her heart gives out!” Someone loudly kicks what sounds to be a trash can in anger, messily spilling its contents all over the floor and I flinch at the blow.

“Y/N, breathe.” Stan coaches me, taking my hand and placing it on his chest. His large hand encompasses my smaller one, exerting slight pressure until I can feel his heartbeat.

“Just focus on the sound of my voice and follow me. In, and out. In, and out. I’m here. You see me, right? You’re here with me at this very moment and you’re safe. You’re always safe with me. Big brothers always got you, yeah?”

I can’t do it anymore, I just can’t.

I’ve been trying and nothing is happening.

It won’t stop and I can’t fucking breathe.

I don’t want to disappoint everyone but I’m tired.

“Shh, shh. You can, love, you can. I know you can.” Kenny patiently encourages me as he gently brushes strands of my hair away from my sticky, tear-stained cheeks. Heavily disoriented, I didn’t seem to realize that I was verbalizing all of my thoughts.

“You know why? Because my girl is the absolute best—the best girl ever and everyone who's anybody knows that. She’s resilient and just so, so strong. As long as she tries her best, I’ll always be proud of her no matter what and nothing she can do will ever disappoint me. Literally, nothing. She could put a bullet through my head and I’d just pass away in euphoria because my last living memory is of a goddess with ethereal beauty.” Kenny continues and ever so slightly, a corner of my lip lifts up.

This is familiar. This is comforting. I know this. The playful flirting and cheesy, over the top exaggeration. His soothing voice helps guide me back down to Earth as I focus on the rising chest of my brother under my fingertips. This is familiar, too. It’s a sound I’ve always known, even before I was born. Whenever I’m feeling sad or scared, my big brother will always hug me to his chest, my ear pressed against the faint beating of his heart. The rhythmic sound let’s me know that I’m safe, I always am when he’s here. This sound is the other half of me.

“Good girl, you’re doing great. Really great. You always do great and I knew you would.” It’s the voice near my ear again and this time, I’m finally able to look away from my brother to see that the voice belongs to Craig. It appears he had a hand on my shoulder throughout the whole ordeal, his thumb rubbing comforting circles over my jacket.

I now notice that Butters has my other hand firmly in his, tears streaking down both his and Clyde’s faces. They all must have found me after practice and I’m thankful that I wasn’t too far from the school before everything went down.

When they ask me what I was doing out so late, in athletic shorts no less, I mumble an excuse about the girls inviting me to workout in the weight room back at school. They don’t know that it’s not just today that I’ve been trekking home alone at night and I don't want to correct their assumption when they sternly lecture me on how dangerous it is.

After taking me home and getting myself cleaned up, they decide on an impromptu movie night filled with blankets, pillows, and snacks. Last minute texts are sent to their parents, notifying them of an emergency sleepover. They place me in the middle, a cocoon of softness, warmth, and comfort. They let me choose all the movies for the rest of the night and the food we order for delivery.

Our faces are colored a pale green from the clay mask I put on everyone, those with longer hair having mini palm trees at the top of their head from being tied up away from their faces.

Self care, they told me.

This isn’t edible so don’t try to lick it off your face, I told Cartman.

I slowly look around and take in the bright light of the television reflecting off of their individual faces. Some people, like Tolkien and Kyle, are starting to nod off, fighting the last dredges of sleep for my sake. On the other end of the spectrum, Butters and Clyde jump at every loud sound that accompanies the suspenseful music, paranoia painting their faces white. Tweek catches my eye and gently feeds me a kernel of popcorn.

Surrounded by my boys, I smile knowing I’m safe whenever I’m with them.

・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

I’m sitting in front of my vanity, carefully applying some makeup to cover the faint bruising on my cheek, the process therapeutic. The occasional clicking of buttons could be heard, Craig lounging on my bed with a handheld gaming console in his hands. I softly mouth along to the words of the low music playing from my phone while faint laughter can be heard from downstairs.

I chance a glance up and catch Craig’s reflection from the corner of my eyes, but I don’t turn my head around as we make eye contact through the mirror. My lips unconsciously quirk up, fondness of the boy behind me fills my entire being from the tips of my toes to the top of my head. “Hmm? What’s up, Tucker?”

He doesn’t say anything, only a thoughtful look adorning his attractive features. Ever since the night the boys found me, I’ve been catching their lingering gazes on me from time to time. Eyes distant, as if they’re looking past me.

I settle both of my elbows onto the tabletop, my hands carefully framing both of my cheeks lest I smudge my hard work. My smile doesn’t falter, never when I’m with him, and I lightheartedly tease him, “What? Never seen a good looking Marsh before? I know you’re around my brother all the time but he's not that ugly.”

I’m successful in getting a reaction from him because I’m soon rewarded with a twinkle of mirth in his eyes, his expression softening, “Come here.”

His deep voice is firm, filling my room with its gentle demand and I blindly obey. With Craig, I’d do just about anything for him. He’s now seated upright and has positioned himself at the edge of my bed, legs open and his thumb tapping a beat onto his thigh.

When I’m close enough, the boy grabs both of my hands, interlocking our fingers together. He gives the intertwined digits a swift, reassuring squeeze before guiding me to him to close the short distance between us. I stand in between his legs and he elicits sudden goosebumps along my arms as he carefully drags his long fingers down the length of it, slowly before finding purchase at my hips.

I instinctively loop my arms around his neck, bringing us closer together and he gently squeezes in response. He murmurs so quietly, “Are you okay?”

I softly reply, my thumbs rubbing soothing circles onto the back of his neck, catching strands of smooth black hair. “You’re here, aren’t you?”

Our voices are hushed. There’s no need to be quiet but it feels like we’re in a bubble and at any disruption, no matter how slight, might pop it.

“Yeah… You know I’m always here for you, right?” I softly nod in response, a slight shift in this space of intimacy we’ve created.

“You know you have me, right?” Again, I nod as I hang onto his words.

“Because I’d do anything for you, Y/N. It doesn’t matter what it is—big or small. At the asscrack of dawn or in the middle of the night. I'd drop whatever I was doing if it meant getting to you when you need me.” His long fingers reach up to lightly smooth his thumb at the area where soft skin meets makeup.

“If you ever have any doubts or feel upset about anything, just talk to me, okay? And I promise that I’ll do whatever I can to erase those doubts and remind you of how much you mean to me. I don’t ever want you to feel alone or less of anything, not when you mean everything to me.” The ravenette continues as he moves his hand, this time tucking silky strands of hair away from my face and behind my ear.

I shyly giggle in bliss at his soft touch and even lighter voice. “Where is this coming from, Craig?”

He ignores my question, persistent to convey his message to me. “You do know that, right, Y/N?”

“Of course, I’ve never doubted it or thought otherwise.”

“Good.” The teen says, satiated before bringing us down onto the bed.

My hands lay themselves against his chest to keep myself upright and he caresses my head with both hands, angling my head down to give my forehead a soft kiss. His lips lingers before pulling away.

・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

It wasn’t hard for the girls to see the slight traces of lingering purple under my attempted camouflage. I tried to reassure them that it wasn’t anyone’s fault but mine, yet they persisted in trying to make up for it due to the guilt they all felt.

I had just finished applying my daily cover up and was adding the final touches to my hair, making sure that every single strand was in place. Satisfied, I turn the brightness of my computer screen back up until the reflection of myself on the glass disappears. I had time before I was due to head out so I loosely curled every lock cascading down my shoulders, braids adorning either side of my head. The girls wanted to take me out later in the day as an otherwise unnecessary apology and I hummed to myself in excitement.

“Wow, doll. Is this all for me?” I look up from the boss battle I was currently engaged in, pausing to identify the intruder that let out a low whistle.

Kenny leans off from his laidback position on my door frame and lazily walks up behind me, the end of his lips quirked up. He gives me an appreciative hum as he takes his time scanning my appearance, indulging his eyes on my figure. I patiently smile at his appreciation.

“Ah, scratch that. That was a stupid question, you’re beautiful every single day to anyone who lays their eyes on you. You don’t even need to try so I meant to say that this is a welcomed treat.” I turn around in my seat to face him, giggling at his words of praise. I greedily drink them in as I loop my arms around his waist.

“Beautiful?” I seek more of his validation, a deepening blush rising on my cheeks as I parrot back his compliment.

He takes a small section of my hair and gently guides his hand to his face, kissing the soft locks in his possession. He hums to me, “Beautiful, bewitching, alluring… You’re every synonym and every iteration of the word, babe. You define beautiful, you’re the very embodiment of it. That word was created because of you—if I were to look under the definition of it, your name would be there.”

My smile grows wider and my cheeks start to hurt from the action, resulted by the constant influx of euphoria that the blonde never fails to provide me. Whether from being drunk on the male’s compliments or shyness, the color red has made its permanent residence onto my cheeks.

He lets go of my hair and gently cups his large hands on either side of my face, angling it up towards his taller figure.

“Pretty.” He quietly utters to my skin, kissing my forehead.

“Gorgeous.” A kiss to my nose this time.

“Irresistible.” A kiss to my left cheek.

“Ravishing.” A firmer kiss to my right cheek with a playful growl, melodic laughter gets pulled out of me.

“Lovely.” He says much softer this time, watching me with gentle eyes. He keeps his devoted gaze onto my visage, his thumb lightly goes over my lips once. “Everything a guy could ever ask for in a person. Everything that I could ever want in life. If I could have one wish, it’d be you.”

My eyes flicker between bright azure orbs, the air between us charged. Before I can say anything, the sound of muffled yelling from my brother’s room startles us. I hastily look away embarrassed, the moment between us broken.

“Can I make you pretty, too?” I flash him a toothy grin and he playfully rolls his eyes, seeking refuge onto my bed. That’s all the answer I need before I push at his shoulders to guide his back down before I settle myself onto his lower stomach, giggling with an eyeshadow palette in one hand and a makeup brush in the other.

Washing flecks of glittery white over his eyelids, I bring my face closer to his and take the time to study the teen under me while his eyes are closed. His slender hands find purchase at my hips and I find myself mesmerized at the mini constellations that adorn his handsome face. Albeit not many, every freckle looks like a tiny star, accentuating the blonde’s mesmerizing features.

I lean in closer to get a better look as I carefully paint a streak of black, a steady hand making a line. I inspect my latest stroke when his hand gently grabs the wrist of the hand I have hovering over his face, the same one holding my eyeliner brush. His eyes slowly open as to not disturb my art, our faces close to one another. Kenny showcases his boyish smile, flashing me with deep dimples at the lack of space between us and my eyes inadvertently lower, seeking plush lips.

“Haven’t you noticed that yeah, the boys are overprotective over you. But when it comes to Kenny and Craig, it’s different?”

Fuck.

[chaussur-blog]

Fuck you! (English translation)

So this is a comic that i made during the summer 21 (and thought out during the year before). So it's a lil old but i'm still very proud of it! I made it with watercolors, on paper of about 17cm x 17 cm.

The original is in French so if you understand it, you can find it: here.

There's the transcription of the text at the bottom of each page in case my handwriting is a lil hard to understand (original is paper, it was made more to be read like that)

Anyhow, enjoy!

Right that moment, i felt like dying

This meant, that some things had to change

Name change : Elliott

Delete these 28 contacts? yes / no

Reorientation : sociology - economy

Hi. I am non-binary. If you can’t respect that, please go to hell xoxo. Some people, 98 [redacted]

That’s why I am here !

University ♡

red hair / unconditional love for crop tops / emo 4 ever / uncertain gender expression / new in town / side-cut

Well. This year will at least be interesting

This precise second, my world exploded

I saw \*this girl - person\*

hair!! / nice smile / hypnotizing eyes / heck of a style/ real cool piercings

… and huge gay vibes

I needed a way, a pretext to talk to them, quickly

Fortunately, the universe wasn’t relying on my subtle flirting skills (& it’s fair)

Hi, do you know where the classroom is ? For orientation

I know where that is! I’ll show you. By the way, I’m Antoine.

Nice to meet you! I’m Elliott!

Little by little, we became pretty close

Coming!

A little too close

Fuck no

of course i wanna have sex with them but i really fucked up i want to have a romantic relationship with them too and this is not what they’re gonna think fuck

of course ; but not like that

solution 1 : talk about it (that’s the right one) / solution 2 : flee

yes ; i’m an asshole

What the hell?

Hi! I can’t be your sexfriend! Sorry (yesterday was fun tho)

Jerk.

Nothing matters anymore!

I am stupid

2 missed calls

Living in a world so cold, wasting away / Living in a shell with no soul, since you’ve gone away / Living in a world so cold, counting the days / Since you’ve gone away from me

Those were bad times.

Do not sit

I found shelter in books

and I, in a whole lot of things

Lectures were really awkward

But I wanted to explain.

Elliott!

Why are you talking to me?

I’m sorry. Can we talk ?

No, not really.

I really / screwed up.

Now is high time for my best coping mechanism

Hi! I’m Alice / I’m Leo! What do you do? / I study sociology and economy. / Could you explain inflation to me? Where do the money disappear to? / Let’s dance instead.

Sure!

Using strangers / Destroying myself

Bottoms-up

Elliott… / I haven’t seen you around, I’m worried about you

Talk to me.

Please let me give you my notes

Hi.

I'm sorry you have to see that, / Antoine

Okay. So you’re obviously feeling too bad for me to help you. But I’ll support you.

Everything will be alright. / There are several steps.

But firstly, do you see your current situation as a problem? / …Yes. / Are you ready,

To try to improve it? / Yes. / You’re sure? / Yes. I’m sick of living like this.

Neat! That was step 1

Thanks, Antoine

Step 2 is to clean your flat and keep it tidy enough

doing the dishes is better than piling them in your bathtub / air is great / changing your sheets, too / getting rid of the harmful stuff

Step 3: restructuring your days and getting rid of your bad habits

Every day: / hydrate eat (3 times) / go out at least once / rest, sleep / go to class & study

Every week: / plan meals / laundry / grocery shopping / do sport

uninstall Webtoons, Twitter and Instagram. / sober of self-harm (2 days) / quit alcohol and smoking / do sport / study, but not too much / journal

But Antoine was very clear: / We’re friends. We’ll see if we can be more when you get better.

There was one step left, last but not least: going to therapy

It took me time and energy. But it was worth it.

Thank you. / No problem, Elliott

Of course, I had some trouble

But Antoine helped me each time I asked him.

Sorry / Progress isn’t linear

That’s rich, prick

I feel much better, so I’m going to ask Antoine out. Well, that’s the plan

stressed out / black dye / attempt at a fancy outfit

Knock knock

Oh hi Elliott ! Looking very smart today!

Er…

Hi… Last time, we did not communicate very well. So I’d like to ask you properly, would you go on a date (with me)?

Of course, Eliott. / Glad to know that you are still interested.

and this date,

was the first of many,

and many other rendez-vous.

Thanks, the universe

***

If you're here i would really love for you to tell me that you read it / what you thought about it so please don't hesitate to! I hearing about it 🥰

And also you can find some more drawings of them on my Instagram: here.

But yeah, thank you, i send you much love, take care of yourself :)

[alyjojo]

The Person On Your Mind in April 🐓 2023 - Taurus

Whole of their energy towards Taurus: 4 Swords

There are games being played on both sides with this person, it really feels like a toxic connection that you’re trying to leave. You may be trying to leave, but this person “isn’t done with you”, and as ick as that sounds, that’s the vibe that’s here. Idk who they think they are, possibly someone you go to for money, and that could be the hold they have over you. They definitely have some hold on you. They see you as someone completely done with them, healing, working on yourself, and wanting nothing to do with their impulsive & immature in-and-out bs, because you’ve told them this flat out, Ace of Swords.

Feelings: The Moon rev

This person knows you know something about them that causes you not to stress about this ending, their “hold” isn’t as strong as it probably was, and I’m not sure what they did exactly, but because of this they seem to be changing their tactics. LOL like you’re just gonna let them go? THEM?? The ego on this person is just…cringe. They gotta go. You seem to know that, but then you’re also acting out of shadow, which means you’re stooping to their level, biting the bait, maybe setting your own idk, you do play into their “mastermind” nonsense. Which is why they do it. They seem to think they know you better than you do. Yikes @ all of this. Sending you lot of virtual hugs and validating every yikes you’ve had with this one, you’re right, you gotta work on your own shadows too no lie, but I don’t see you doing this, they are.

Intentions: 10 Wands

They intend to purposely burden you, manipulate you, fk with your head, confuse you, and have you eating out of the palm of their hands. They could be someone that likes to “break up” a lot, just to make you devastated, with no actual intention to leave or actually let you go. Something about this game feeds their ego, and something about you is giving this to them. That has to be what this reading is for, so you can see this for what it is. This person is bs.

Actions: 9 Pentacles rev

As an action, they are going to do what they intend, but how that looks to you is seeming noncommittal, acting like they don’t care, they don’t need you, they’ve got everything handled just fine. Could be acting like they’re doing well materially, idk if they think that bothers you or something but they could be splurging on…stupid purchases honestly, things they can’t afford, just to prove a point to you. They aren’t giving you ANY of their energy, affections, probably communication. They just act like they’re bored and they don’t care 😌 Oh, they care, a whole lot, enough to try to manipulate your emotions into doing what they want you to do. Which is probably crying, overreacting, throwing yourselves at them because you need them or are upset. What a creep. I get no significators for this person and I can’t gauge them or even who they are to you. But it’s not good. It’s up to you to see that and be like “oh you don’t care? Okay!“ *exit stage left* 👻 Throw it away.

Messages:

Their side:

- I can see RIGHT through you.

- Mind Games 🤯

Your side:

- We are too different.

- Shadow Self 😈

Possible signs:

Sagittarius, Cancer, Virgo, Gemini & Taurus

If you’re dealing with:

The Emperor shows you being a person not to mess with tbh, you’re the sort of person that takes things very seriously, at least in this time frame, and you adhere to a specific standard of rules, discipline, method or behavioral pattern. As an example for others. With the rest of your reading and how you seem to fit in all of this, you could be working on getting your shit together, at least as how you’re presenting yourself to others around you.

Aries - happy to be nostalgic with you, you could be talking about old times and reminiscing, this is a good connection

Taurus - worried whether they’ve wasted their time or not when it comes to you

Gemini - has a lot of deep hidden love they either aren’t expressing or feel helpless about

Cancer - definitely a soulmate & you two are a very passionate & confident pair

Leo - there is a very shocking and disappointing situation with them and possibly a mother and/or children, a breakup, deep sadness here 😞

Virgo - a lot of communication about them, something really good is happening regarding your work or theirs

Libra - still being a mind gamey jackass and there’s no progress with that, and won’t be, don’t bother

Scorpio - defensive over you moving on to something new, because they’re still committed to and love you, or that’s switched

Sagittarius - nice to you, giving and fair towards you, but being Hermity and kinda antisocial right now for whatever reason

Capricorn - doesn’t know whether they should keep the grudges they hold on to, or whether you have some against them, or who is wrong for what or what is even right anymore…🤷‍♀️ Can’t communicate for ish.

Aquarius - moving away from any drama, it’s been very painful for them and they’re guarded with you from here on out

Pisces - heartbroken by something they feel you did or they think they know something about you that hurts them, but no one speaks so who cares? Clarified - The World - it’s over.

[parcequecestnotreprojeeeet]

Hello! It's Winter. I am loving everyone's stories lately. Keep em coming!

From down the hall, Emmanuel could hear grunting, cursing and shouting. To the best of his knowledge, his wife was alone in their bedroom. As he moved closer to their door, he started to make out specific words she was saying. Her tone was harsh like she was upset with someone. Emmanuel hoped it wasn’t him. He couldn’t think of anything he was guilty of doing that would have set her off. 

“Cherie?” He lightly tapped on the door before opening it. “It’s me” 

“Come in” she grunted. 

The scene in front of him was perplexing. Brigitte’s beautiful designer clothes were scattered across the floor. Expensive scarves were rolled up into tiny balls and stilettos and boots had been divided into two large piles. She was currently on her knees sorting through a mountain of Louis Vuitton blazers. 

“What are you doing?” 

She pointed to the larger of the two piles. “I’m donating these to charity or to my daughters - if they want them” 

Emmanuel kneeled beside her, rubbing her back. “Why? You love all these outfits”. He glanced at the pile of shoes in horror. “Brigitte! There must be at least 40 pairs here!” 

Carefully he picked out a pair and held them up. “These are your favourite Chanel boots! They were an anniversary gift from me” 

She pointed to a new pair of shoes, ones he’d never seen before. “These will be my new everyday shoes from now on” 

Emmanuel picked the flat-heeled, brown, cheap-looking shoes off the floor with disgust. “They’re hideous! They look like something a grandmother would wear! Where did you even find these? A flea market?” 

She snatched them from his hand. “In case you weren’t aware, I am a grandmother!” 

He scoffed. “You’re not a typical grandma! Brigitte, why are you getting rid of everything? What has gotten into that brilliant head of yours?” 

Suddenly...Just like that, it hit him like a ton of bricks. All the negative articles that had been published recently about her wardrobe, how she dressed too young for her age, the colour of her hair, and the length of her skirts had all been criticized. 

Emmanuel scooped the pile of beautiful shoes up in his arms. 

“Where are you going with those?!” She shrieked. 

“I’m putting them back on the shelf! I won’t let you toss these away because of some stupid people’s bullshit opinions! I happen to love the way you dress, and I know how much you adore your clothes! You look damn good in them too! Please, don’t let these fools change your appearance” 

Lightly touching his leg, she smiled up at her husband. “I don’t embarrass you with my short dresses? Or the blonde hair?” 

He bent down to capture her lips. “Never! You’d embarrass me if you started dressing like a 90-year-old woman. Do not cover up those sexy legs! I don't want you dressing the way my mother does” 

Emmanuel offered to help put everything back in her closet. Once they were done, they stared blankly at the ugly pair of brown shoes on the floor.

“What should I do with those? I paid good money for them!” Brigitte teased.  

“How much were they??” He asked in horror, afraid she paid hundreds of dollars for those awful-looking things. 

She covered her mouth and with a giggle replied, “$10” 

He playfully tickled her stomach. “That’s $10 too much, Cherie! I have an idea  - we can let Nemo chew on them. They won’t go to waste” 

Hellooo Winter! ❤️

Yes Brigitte, you just dress whatever you feel comfortable with and to the hell with the people’s opinions!

In the meantime, Nemo won a new “toy” hahaha

Thank you so much, Winter! ❤️❤️❤️

[unhinged-summer-fun]

Joel/infected #1

Y’all’s dogshit takes on Joel/Tess are dogshit

This is a warning headshot

Proceed at your own risk you fucking weirdos, it’s dead fucking dove

They were soft, Joel realized. He never knew they’d be soft. The vines had trapped him in a hold he’d been unable to break free from, tightening more with each second he struggled. He let out a soft noise of protest as he felt his jeans shred away from his thighs, exposing himself to the chill autumn air. He kept his mouth closed, for as long as he could.

He had a feeling even that notion was a sinking ship he refused to acknowledge.

He was brought back by the touch of clammy, blood soaked fingertips belonging to whatever person that thing once was above him. It had legs, once. Hell, so did he. Ten minutes ago he would have felt it. But now, he only felt the tiny scratches of jagged fingernails into his thighs, the pulsing ooze of his own blood slicking the way, the traitorous thickening of his own cock to being touched.

Delirium, he told himself as shame rose in time with bile, as boats on a wave. There’s something delirious about me. I’m going to die and my dick has jumped ship to at least ease my passing.

But those soft little tendrils from the not-a-person’s mouth only extended, a hand reaching to help, curling like a smile, soft and warm, oh god were they warm, and then they were around him and in him—

Joel hardly had time for his own hand, pre-outbreak, he didn’t have money to waste on a computer or pay-per-view porn or even skin mags. In those twenty years he hardly got it up, between the booze and drugs and age and depression and his mouth knowing the taste of the end of his gun too many times to count. He didn’t know the name for… this, he couldn’t recall the name his mother had given him by this point.

All he knew was that the tendrils were latching, deep deep inside him, into his balls by this point, and the mouth that should have been revolting and afeared was starting to feel the way he used to feel when he’d see family. It felt warm, welcomed, felt like a damned hug back when he was the kind of man to accept one. He looked into eyes long-cataracted and saw relief and, impossibly, understanding. He saw someone there, waiting.

And as he came, the darkness did as well.

…

You groaned and threw the controller at the wall. It didn’t even hit, which was a good representation of your own aim in-game.

“Joel you piece of shit! Did you see that? He just blew himself up!”

“But you equipped the—”

“I was telling him. Shoot the gun at the zombie! At! The!! Zombie! Not the wall! Why do you reach so fucking high for things on a counter, it’s like you’re waving at them to come over you stupid fuck! God!”

“Maybe you should—”

“No,” you growled. “Again.”

“I just don’t see why you’re getting so upset over—”

“No. There has to be a deeper reason to why it’s going this way. There has to be. I’m unable to enjoy any piece of media without making myself look like the media analysis monarch because if I reduce myself in rank to the level of audience member I’ll fucking explode.”

It was profound and simple, but you had yet to do anything to change yourself. You reloaded the game.

…

Joel focused on his surroundings. “Stay low,” he murmured, feeling as though he’d said it three dozen times before.

[cognitiveleague]

Hey, y’all! I’m even broker than usual, so fuck it. A… commissions post of sorts? But for random shit I’m good at, organized loosely from most practical to most deranged.

So let’s get to it! In case this post makes it to someone outside of my mutuals, hi, I’m Ket (she/her), and my wife Thyme (they/them) and I are veteran Tumblrinas of many a year. We live with our two beautiful, incredibly stupid cats, Tabitha and Umbra.

I wrote a whole thing here about how hard we work (well, not the cats) and the reasons why we’re still struggling, because that’s how I Need Money posts usually go, and then I deleted it, because honestly, we’re pretty much all having a bad time under late-stage capitalism, and beyond not wanting to guilt trip anyone, I don’t want to waste anyone’s empathy on all the exhausting details when so many of us are already so tired and so overextended emotionally and/or financially.

Tl;dr - Late stage capitalism sucks for us (as it does for many), no money in bank, week until payday, need money because existing is expensive.

What I can offer in exchange for money if anyone’s interested: under the cut to save space on your dash!

-Translation: Japanese to English, English to Japanese, French to English (but not vice versa at this time unless you’re willing to accept that the end result may be pretty clunky and stilted), could probably drag my wife in if anybody wants Swedish to English or vice versa? Pricing variable depending on amount and complexity of text involved, can provide a somewhat-negotiable estimate on request.

-Informal consultation on (US) health insurance: My day job involves dealing with my workplace’s patients’ health insurance companies. I have an active vendetta against all private healthcare companies and detailed knowledge of how they work, and am personally invested in helping as many people as possible not get screwed by them, so honestly, if I had time and didn’t need money, I’d do this one for free. I’d probably have to draw up some type of waiver / information privacy policy for it, like you’d have to sign for any sort of financial advisor who gets paid for it, but if there’s interest I totally will. I can look at your healthcare plan options and tell you which one would make the most sense to pick, or advise on the best plan of action for making your existing bullshit insurance company fix something they screwed up, for example. Pay what it’s worth to you.

-Editing: I’ve got years if not decades of experience with fiction and academic writing, and a sharp eye for detail. I’m also experienced with writing letters and emails in a business context. Got something that needs a once-over for errors? I can help! I am also happy to just straight-up write letters or emails for any context, or really just about anything that isn’t academic writing (which I can still help revise or edit, but if you want someone to write your whole damn paper for you, find someone willing to do it.) As with translation, pricing depends on amount and complexity of text, can provide an estimate if you tell me what you want.

-Short-form poetry: I said what I said, and you know, I’m not even embarrassed somehow. Pay what you will, and you can have your very own bespoke haiku (in Japanese and-or English) for any occasion and/or theme you want. Hell, if you want, and if “what you will” covers at least enough for materials and postage, I’ll clear off the coffee table, dust off the calligraphy set, personally cry tears of frustration from my own eyeballs for you as I try to remember how to grind my own ink, and mail you a physical copy.

-Assorted Renfaire Bitch Skills: I did fencing and reenacting until I busted my leg, and have for many years worked weekends at a clothes shop at my local renfaire during the season when it runs. Also my Tolkien and Shakespeare and golden age of piracy phases just never went away. Want practical advice on writing or choreographing m a swordfighting scene? Want a shitpost (or anything else) translated from 20th-21st century English to period-accurate Tudor-era English? Want me to design a medieval-to-renaissance-inspired outfit for you or your OC with whatever level of accuracy or inaccuracy you want? Want me to write a scathing diss sonnet for someone your party’s bard hates? ALL THIS AND MORE CAN BE YOURS - I pray you, seek out with all haste my DMs

-Assorted Renfaire Butch Skills: Autocorrect was really pushing for this one, and I’ll grant it this win. As above, but I’ll tie my hair back and wear a doublet.

-Cat pics: Self explanatory. I will send you photos of our beautiful, brainless cats to brighten your day. Pay what you will, and I will decide how many stupid cat pictures it is worth.

Send me a DM if you want to engage my services for any of the above, and we can talk what kind of price would be fair! Reblogs appreciated, too 💕

[aravenwriter]

Aravenwriter’s Prompt List Part 4

I went looking for my mom, it’s true

You can stay the night if you want, I have a spare bedroom

I'd never have guessed, honestly 

I’ve been worse, don’t worry about me

You don't need to keep finding reasons to talk to me, you know? 

I won't ask about your past if you don't ask about mine

Run! I can handle this on my own, go now! 

Look, you're already fucked, so might as well do as I tell you to at least try to save your honor

I just... Wanted to say goodbye to the city 

It's for your own safety, believe me, we can't do this

I didn’t tell her the whole truth, but I just wanted to protect her 

He just looks so happy without me, I can't do that to him again

Right now I really want you to stay as far away from me as possible.

You don’t have to do this, you know?

It's stuck in my head, like a song on repeat 

You've got to stop being sad and start being angry instead

I spent a lot of money on these so I sure as hell hope they work 

I just wish he'd shut up for like, five minutes

Us? Dating? What the hell gave you that idea? 

I thought you had moved on from that

She did curse me, but it's not about what you think it is 

These are not the deepest scars I’ve got

You told me you spoke five languages, right? Can you help me read this then? 

You don’t look like the hugging type

I can protect you, believe me. Nothing bad will happen to you while I'm around

Everything looks pink and purple

So this was your super secret source? 

I'm tired of your stupid comments and your whining!

You're here! You're really here. I thought I'd lost you! 

I lost someone. I don't want to talk about it.

Just let me have a look at it! 

You’re such an asshole, I can’t stand you

Take my spare key, and don't wake me up when you come back 

Wait! We shouldn't waste this, I'm taking it with me

You don’t need me and I don’t need you. We both know that now 

If I see him again, I'm going to kick his ass, I swear

I missed your visits, and your flowers, and your conversation... 

We won't ever be safe until we get rid of them for good

Don't lie to me, your eyes are full of tears 

I didn’t have a lot of friends growing up, as you can imagine

We need to talk, but it can wait until you've recovered a bit, I think

In our line of work this isn’t really a thing we should be considering… 

I finally fixed the damn thing!

He has been lying to me the whole time! Do you know how that feels!? 

No one's touching anything until she gets here, understood?

You’ll come back from this, I’ve seen you survive through worse

Why are you so obsessed with dancing all of a sudden?

C'mon, we've known each other since... I can't remember! 

I got lost trying to escape, but I managed

This is how it ends, I just know it

[jjuniehao]

[09:23 pm]: choi soobin || part 2

“i’m done, i’m just gonna sleep on the damn floor,” soobin groans as he plops down on the ground, letting his back hit the wall and resting his head against it.

the two of you are currently in the process of moving into a shared apartment, and it’s going as well as one would expect: boxes everywhere, you’re both starving after hauling boxes and furniture all day, and none of the key pieces like your beds, couch or even just chairs are assembled yet.

…which means you’ll have to sleep on the floor on the first night in your new apartment. how nice.

soobin was the one that insisted on assembling it all yourselves, since getting it delivered and assembled is a scam, why would we pay someone to do that? it’s gonna be fine.

it wasn’t fine.

at first you were ecstatic to be moving in with your lifelong best friend, but now, staring at all the half-assembled pieces of furniture, little screws, metal pieces and manuals strewn all over the floor, you start to have your doubts.

“you know, if we had just payed—“

“if we had payed we would have wasted a shit ton of money, and for what?”

there is a scowl on your face, and it makes you wonder why he has such a personal vendetta against hiring someone to assemble some furniture.

“well for starters, we wouldn’t have to sleep on the stupid floor—”

“one night on the floor won’t kill us. you’re supposed to sleep on a hard surface anyways, right? it’s good for your back. i think, i dunno,” he shrugs at the end and you can’t help but snort at him.

“could you at least try to be convincing, bin?”

“listen, i’m just as pissed and tired as you. let’s just unpack some pillows and a blanket for now, and i promise we’ll work on our beds first thing in the morning.”

you observe him for a second, and only now do you notice the overwhelming exhaustion on his face. maybe sleeping on the floor isn’t so bad after all. maybe it’ll get rid of the kink in your neck.

you let out a sigh, and turn to the mountains of boxes, “fine. but you better help me look for a blanket.”

within 20 minutes the mess on the floor is made even worse by random pieces of clothes, cutlery, books and decorations strewn around. the mountains of boxes have been reduced to little hills consisting of half-empty boxes, the contents messily thrown around in the desperate search of a pillow or a blanket.

emptying another box filled with clothes and finding nothing of value you sigh and move on to the next one; a lighter box that upon opening envelops you in the warm, fluttering feeling of nostalgia.

the box is filled to the brim with childhood pictures, drawings and notebooks you filled out when you were younger, colouring books, diaries, sticker books — your entire childhood was staring back at you from that box and you can’t resist the urge to look through it all, right now.

carefully examining the contents of the box, you start by taking a closer look at the heaps of pictures, chuckling a little at the dozens of pictures of you and soobin. you and soobin during a play in kindergarten, holding hands and both of your faces painted in a wide array of colours. you and soobin on your 8th birthday, with him holding his gifts for you proudly into the camera while you’re standing next to him, most assuredly buzzing with excitement. soobin bidding you farewell for the two week camp your parents signed you up to when you were 10, both of you crying and unwilling to spend two weeks apart from each other.

“bin, come look at what found..”

“y/n, if it isn’t a soft, cuddly pillow i don’t want to—“ soobin cuts himself off when he sees the pictures in your hand, and you can tell he’s experiencing the same wave of warm nostalgia you had when you first opened the box.

he takes the pictures from your hands, sifting through them with a fond smile on his face. while he continues to go through the pictures, you focus your attention on the other things in the box.

sticking out between two wildly decorated notebooks was an envelope. upon closer inspection you can tell it’s a little older, the edges a little worn. the envelope is decorated with stickers and your name is written in confident but clumsy writing, a little heart scribbled next to your name.

you open the envelope carefully, not wanting to accidentally damage a childhood relic, especially one as cute as this. the letter inside makes you want to scream and cry thanks to the sheer cuteness of it all.

hello y/n

i like you

i will buy you an ice cream

so pleas like me back

mom says we can marry if you want

bye

there were little scribbles of cats, smiley faces, hearts and stick figures (that presumably represent you and your mysterious admirer) all over the papers, leaving little to no unoccupied space. they are delightful, and the contents of the letter are a whole different level of adorable.

you can’t help the little awww that escapes you, and soobin immediately leans over to check what has you swooning like that, when your original quest of searching for blankets and pillows seems to have been long forgotten. his eyes almost pop out his skull when he sees, no, recognises the letter.

“how could i have forgotten this? it‘s so cute,“ you mumble, and soobin snorts. “yeah, super cute how you can barely read it. i remember my mom making me practice writing it all out a few times because it was so hard to read,“ soobin chuckles and sifts through some of the other stuff in the box.

you just blink down at the letter, then up at soobin. he was so casual about it, as if it was a well-known fact. feeling your heavy stare on him he stops rummaging and meets your eyes, “…what? is there dust on my face—“

“you wrote it?“

the disbelief in your voice makes his eyebrows shoot up in surprise, nodding silently. why were you so surprised? who else would it have been, other than him?

“bin, you‘re telling me you had a crush on me and didn‘t think to tell—“

“i was like five, what does it matte—“

“yeah, you were five but you wanted to marry me! that’s a serious crush—“

he groans and snatches the letter from your hands, folding it up and fiddling it back into the envelope, “let’s just forget this, it’s history.”

you grin and pinch his cheek, making him scowl and stare at you with furrowed brows, “well, how can i know it’s history if you never told me about it?? you could still want to marry me! so tell me bin, what about me—“

“y/n please, we were five! everyone else was ‘getting married’ and you were my closest friend, okay? even if i had a crush, it doesn’t matter anymore—“

“okay, then when did it stop?“

“what?”

“the crush. when did you get over me?”

he stares at you, stammering something akin to what do you mean and why do you care, though it comes out all jumbled. he’s shaking his head in disbelief, looking at you as if you’re crazy.

“it’s just a question, bin.” your voice is soft now and he hates it; hates the fact that it makes him feel like you’re pitying him, like he’s a loser. he can practically envision you telling him that it’s your fault and not his, how he’s your best friend, how you love him but don’t see him that way — it makes his blood boil and just throws him further down the hole.

he huffs and walks over to the other side of the room, ripping open another box, all in silence.

“..soobin?“ no answer, just him rummaging through the contents of the box.

“bin, i’m sorr—“

he suddenly pulls out a blanket, and finds some pillows underneath as well. he briefly looks at you, kneeling on the floor to make a somewhat comfortable arrangement the two of you can sleep in for the night. you walk over to him and before you can react, he mumbles, “i don’t want to talk about it, okay? i‘m tired, please.“

you nod silently and go to turn off the lights when he is done building a (admittedly) rather sad looking sleeping arrangement, and as much as you want to tease him, it would probably just make him more upset. so you bite your tongue, laying down next to him and stare up at the ceiling in silence.

you‘ve slept next to each other countless times, but not once did soobin seem this hell-bent on bringing as much space as possible between you two. “night,” you mumble, fully expecting him to ignore you, but to your surprise he says it back. the two of you lay next to each other like two wood blocks, and it’s incredibly awkward. this is you and soobin, there is no awkward between you two! both of you are uneasy, and you can feel his hand twitch next to you when you readjust your position a little.

taking a deep breath your own hand slowly inches towards soobin’s, until your pinkies are touching. it takes a while for either of you to move, until soobin carefully moves his hand towards yours. then you move yours a little closer, then him, so on and so forth until you end up with your hands tightly intertwined. you were ready to fall asleep like this and pretend nothing ever happened once you wake up tomorrow. up until soobin suddenly breaks the silence, that is.

“we’ll talk about it tomorrow.”

you’re glad he can’t see your face, because you can’t help the goofy smile on your face.

“okay.”

[kirbyprompts]

𝐒𝐈𝐗 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐖𝐒 ( 𝐋𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇 𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐔𝐆𝐎 ) 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒

feel free to change the prompts as you see fit! warnings: mentions of death and murder and violence.

❝it’s almost midnight.❞

❝i’m not going to bet on my own death.❞

❝you’re a thief.❞

❝i know it comes easy, but try not to play dumb with me.❞

❝i’m fairly sure you’re threatening me. but i want to be more certain before i decide to what to do about it.❞

❝i can’t wait to wipe that look off your face.❞

❝things aren’t going quite as planned, are they?❞

❝do you really think that secret would die with me?❞

❝shame holds more value than coin ever can.❞

❝always one step ahead, aren’t you?❞

❝i’m a creature of habit.❞

❝when everyone knows you’re a monster, you needn’t waste time doing every monstrous thing.❞

❝men mock the gods until they need them.❞

❝get away from me.❞

❝i need a mug of the darkest, bitterest coffee i can find. or maybe a real punch to the jaw.❞

❝you look exhausted. will you sleep at all tonight?❞

❝if i want to watch men dig holes to fall into, i’ll find myself a cemetery.❞

❝you’re smart, but you need to learn patience.❞

❝are you going to explain any of this?❞

❝brick by brick, i will destroy you.❞

❝fate has plans for us all.❞

❝the brain is just another organ.❞

❝if you’d wanted to help me, you know you could have.❞

❝when have i ever done something for nothing?❞

❝i may die, but i’ll die on my feet with a knife in my hand.❞

❝i can take it.❞

❝you could have come to me on your hands and knees, and my answer would be the same.❞

❝you can keep your money. choke on it.❞

❝don’t i have a say in this? i’m sitting right here.❞

❝i’m not useless.❞

❝you wouldn’t know a good time if it sidled up to you and stuck a lollipop in your mouth.❞

❝the easiest way to steal a man’s wallet is to tell him you’re going to steal his watch.❞

❝it’s hard to keep track of all your wisdom.❞

❝i worry about everything. that’s why i’m still alive.❞

❝there’s a difference between confidence and arrogance.❞

❝the heart is an arrow. it demands aim to land true.❞

❝i’m not sure i have a heart to give any more.❞

❝you at least owe me your best imitation of a human being.❞

❝i can tell you how this one ends, but you’re not going to like it.❞

❝did we win?❞

❝i don’t want to die.❞

❝you came back for me.❞

❝i protect my investments.❞

❝say you’re sorry.❞

❝you’re making me nervous.❞

❝i’m just doing my job. stop glaring at me.❞

❝my ghost won’t associate with your ghost.❞

❝don’t try to move, just rest.❞

❝i’m fine. you’re the one who got stabbed.❞

❝it’s just so much easier to kill people than take care of them.❞

❝don’t make me laugh. that feels awful.❞

❝how long was i out?❞

❝there was enough blood to paint a barn red.❞

❝i’m not a criminal.❞

❝if you aren’t born with every advantage, you learn to take your chances.❞

❝why do you think you know everything about me?❞

❝i want to show you something.❞

❝i’ve been looking for an excuse to talk to you for two days.❞

❝i’ve never heard you admit you’re not good at something.❞

❝i don’t want this.❞

❝unclench your jaw. you’re going to grind your teeth down into nothing.❞

❝shut your eyes.❞

❝you don’t smell like roses any more.❞

❝it’s not normal for someone to be as stupid as they are tall, and yet there you stand.❞

❝i can’t believe your face is going to be the last thing i see before i die.❞

❝i hate the way you talk.❞

❝do you think i care what you like or don’t like?❞

❝there’s always more to lose.❞

❝what’s the first thing you’re going to do when you get home?❞

❝i have been made to protect you. only in death will i be kept from this oath.❞

❝are you afraid of me?❞

❝all right, what do you do for fun?❞

❝what are you so afraid will happen? afraid you might start to like me?❞

❝let me go.❞

❝i will always be a threat to you.❞

❝we’re under attack.❞

❝you did everything but tell the truth.❞

❝what was that?❞

❝just keep talking.❞

❝doesn’t matter how big the gun is if you don’t know where to point it.❞

❝we’re either geniuses or the dumbest sons of bitches to ever breathe air.❞

❝what good is a lockpick without his picks?❞

❝you aren’t going to kill me, and i’m not going to pretend everything is okay.❞

❝stop being dense. you’re cuter when you’re smart.❞

❝have you ever been in a fight?❞

❝i don’t want to kill people, not really.❞

❝you’re obviously dangerous. i’d prefer you never became dangerous to me.❞

❝better terrible truths than kind lies.❞

❝your death belongs to me.❞

❝i want a job.❞

❝i practice the art of ‘pull his shirt over his head and punch till you see blood.'❞

❝a good magician isn’t much different from a proper thief.❞

❝why didn’t you tell me?❞

❝thank goodness we’re proper thieves.❞

❝if you survive and i don’t, make sure i have an open casket. the world deserves a few more moments with this face.❞

❝if we don’t survive this night, i will die unafraid. can you say the same?❞

❝you don’t have to do this, you know.❞

❝i’ve done worse.❞

❝i’m not sure why i began this, but i know why i have to finish. i know why fate brought me here, why it placed me in the path of this prize.❞

❝you’re very graceful in battle, just not while you’re plummeting.❞

❝you presume a great deal.❞

❝i learned the same way you learn about anything. take it apart.❞

❝who am i now?❞

❝you stink of decency.❞

❝we have a party to go to.❞

❝i’m afraid for you.❞

❝i need a dose of imminent peril to get my head straight.❞

❝you can help by shutting up and staying out of the way.❞

❝i don’t like that sound. what’s wrong?❞

❝i don’t love killing people.❞

❝i don’t have any business criticizing you.❞

❝you gave me the tools for vengeance when i needed them the most.❞

❝if we make it out of here alive, i’m going to kiss you unconscious.❞

❝have you come to kill me?❞

❝you shouldn’t make friends with crows.❞

❝you’ve cheated death too many times.❞

❝you won’t shoot me. you need information.❞

❝i. should. let. you. die.❞

❝don’t touch me.❞

❝you almost drowned. you should have drowned.❞

❝this would be a really good time to say you saw this coming.❞

❝i didn’t see this coming.❞

❝they won’t take me alive.❞

❝we’re all someone’s monster.❞

❝you look radiant.❞

❝it seems you prayed to the right god.❞

❝you know you can’t stop them all.❞

❝what will you do when there’s no more blood to shed or vengeance to take?❞

❝was there never another dream?❞

❝what do you want, then?❞

❝stay. stay here. stay with me.❞

❝i want you to stay. i want you to… i want you.❞

❝i don’t want you to see me like this.❞

❝we all carry our sins. i need you to live so i can atone for mine.❞

❝i want to feel safe again. i want to go home.❞

❝i’d like to say it’s been a pleasure, but i’m not that good a liar.❞

❝maybe i liked your stupid face.❞

❝i’m going to invent a new trick.❞

[sunflwryu]

warning: yandere, kidnapping | requested by: anon

price

the only stories that would have happily ever afters were the stories where at least one of the leads was filthy rich. after all, money’s the key factor to surviving, and if you have enough of it, you can do so, so many wonderful things and never have to worry about starving or working to the bone again. you just get to live life without a single care in the world.

that’s why sunghoon couldn’t understand why you handed back the expensive flower bouquet he had bought for you, a sheepish apologetic smile on your face.

what didn’t you like about him?

and why did you seem to like heeseung instead? that boy works multiple part time jobs just to get by, but somehow you still go and talk to him everyday, laughing so brightly as you always do, showering him with compliments, wasting your days away with him, with a loser like him rather than being happy with someone who’s actually worth your time. why did you always hang out with him, someone who wouldn’t be able to keep you happy for long? someone who didn’t deserve you? someone who couldn’t provide for you?

“i’m sorry, i don’t like you that way...” sunghoon hates the pity shining in your eyes as you look at him, hates how his shoulders instinctively deflate before he can stop them, hates the pain that takes hold of his heart.

he bites back his initial rage. “why...?”

“i just don’t think of you that way,” you reply simply, as if this whole ordeal’s nothing to you, like you’re taking his feelings lightly. “we’re just classmates and we don’t even talk that much.” even if that’s true, even if you’re just acquaintances right now, he feels an insatiable anger fizzing in his stomach at your matter-of-fact reasoning, his fists clenching at his sides. he likes you; no, he loves you so, so much and you’re just...not even giving him a chance? not even hearing him out after confessing, not even anything...?

you’re so arrogant, and for what? are you playing with his feelings? or is it because of heeseung? he wouldn’t let that best friend of yours get in his way, no way.

sunghoon takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. maybe you just want him to prove himself, that he wants you, that he can take care of you. you deserve the best after all, and what kind of boyfriend would he be if he couldn’t show you that? maybe you think he’s like heeseung, poor and incapable?

“okay...” he says carefully, fingers tightening around the bottom of the bouquet so much that his knuckles turn white, “...then, how much money do you need for me to your boyfriend?”

as soon as the words leave his mouth, your eyes narrow into a sharp glare, fire burning in your eyes. “what the hell?! are you insinuating i’m someone to be bought with your stupid money? park sunghoon, i’m telling you right now, i’m not easy like all the other people you may have chased after. how fucking dare you insult me like that!” you shout at him before spinning on your heel and storming off, your voice full of disdain for the boy.

who does he think he is, acting like that towards you? you thought he was sincere at first from the way he took the time to buy you the flowers and arrange the dinner reservation stated in the card that went with the bouquet, and even the look in his eyes was quite soft and genuine. seemingly.

did he say all that just because you told him the truth? that you don’t see him like that?

you feel a hand on your wrist, but before you can wrench it off, you’re yanked back like you weigh nothing, like you’re just an object rather than a person. “so, you’re saying no to me? are you sure about that answer?” sunghoon’s voice is dark and threatening next to your ear, and something about it sets you on edge, shivers running down your spine as you gulp nervously, uncomfortably shifting in his grip.

“you can’t be serious, who in their right mind would say yes to you after hearing something like that?” you snap, exasperated, your eyes boring knives into his as you meet his unreadable gaze.

he shakes his head mockingly, disappointment clear in his features. he doesn’t say anything, only dragging the powerless you along with him to his car despite your incessant protests for him to unhand you. something about his silence scares you, and badly. there’s this unnerving feeling in your throat that you can’t get rid of, and all you can do is struggle away from him as much as you can, but alas, he’s strong, much stronger than you anticipate.

he leads you to the trunk, opening it with the press of a hidden button to reveal your best friend, heeseung, ankles and wrists tied by rough rope, his mouth taped shut, puffy eyes widening as he meets yours.

“heeseung! what—” you scream, but you’re interrupted by a hand clamping over your mouth. you turn around to look at the rich boy you rejected with tears in your eyes, the gravity of the situation, the responsibility for your friend’s capture finally sinking into your bones as a sinister smile crosses his lips.

“i was going to let him free if you accepted my confession, you know? such a shame,” sunghoon clicks his tongue as he rolls his eyes at heeseung’s pathetic muffled pleas to let him go, “such a shame, really.” he mercilessly slams the trunk shut, earning a muted screech from your best friend, before turning to you, holding back from laughing at your amusingly bitter expression, filled with rage and eyes full of hot tears. “i bet you’re probably thinking in that pretty little head of yours why i did this. well...” he opens the car door to the backseat and roughly shoves you inside before you can interrupt him, buckling you in with the seatbelts and enabling some sort of child lock on them so you can’t free yourself from them, grinning madly at you.

“...you should know there’s always a price to pay for rejecting me, doll.”

anon said: Hey! I had a Request! Rich!Yandere!sunghoon liking you but you don't like him back. He sees you talking with Heeseung and being best friends with him but he's a broke guy and isn't as rich as sunghoon so it angers him. He then asks you that how much money you will need to be his girlfriend to which you ofcource get angry and decline. Then after another rejecting from you sunghoon decides to just kidnap you.

note: hey anon! i made this more gender neutral, that’s the only change i made to this. thanks for sending in the request, i hope you liked it! i wrote this pretty quickly after you sent it in cuz yandere! sunghoon brainrot is real for me rn lol. there’s a request i’ve been working on for a while now (i’m so sorry T_T) that i can’t come up with anything good for rn so this was a good way to take a break from it. anyway thanks for reading everyone, i hope you all enjoyed it too! poor heeseung in this story tho :((

enhypen masterlist | main masterlist | by @sunflwryu

[impyssadobsessions]

Raising Phantom Chpt 8

Raising Phantom on Ao3

Jason sat up next to his favorite gargoyle as a kid, watching the city in thought. Duke, after the party, had confirmed something odd was with Danny and Vlad. Having caught a second glimpse of Vlad as he stormed out after recovering from a punch from Bruce. Which was a shock in itself as he was supposedly knocked out cold. Would have taken a normal man at least a few hours. Duke had tried his best to explain the image, but best he could describe it was a holographic card where it was two images at once. Danny's was a boy with white hair, and Vlad's was a vampire. It sounded ridiculous if Jason didn't remember that weird feeling he had when the boy was near. He had almost forgotten-well forgotten wasn't right word- He had accepted that strange feeling. It was eerie at first but grew comforting around the kid. He tapped his foot on the edge of the stone. Vlad had a weird pull too, he didn't notice until Duke pointed it out. He had assumed it was Danny, until he tried to track Vlad. Vlad always knew where to look for him, so he disappeared once he confirmed the feeling. Dick suggested that perhaps it was a freak accident both of them were apart of? Kept it secret from Jazz? But Jason doubted it. Tim brought up their unknown parents. Jason glared at the city view. That sounded plausible, they were responsible could be the reason they all had a falling out. “..I never known a boring day in my life..” Jason flexing his hand as he recalled Jazz's voice back in the library. Definitely pointed towards parents. Dead brother too. Jason stood up with a huff, he needed to stop reflecting on it. Let the others keep playing this game, but he was going to stomp his foot down if they cross the line. Stretching as he stared over the horizon. He definitely going to keep an eye on Danny. Though the tabloid story was going to make it hard. Stupid gossip. ---

Ever since they've arrived home, Vlad has been on their couch playing the 'pitiful me' card. He would whine about the gala, how foolish he looked. He begged Jasmine and Danny to let him get back at Bruce, which both declined. “Mr. Wayne started most of the foundations and fundraisers in Gotham as well as provide jobs for the city. INCLUDING the improvements made to both my college and future place of work. You can't hurt him because he punched you for threatening his kids!” Jazz would explain for a millionth time as she give Vlad his cup of coffee. Her hair wired and frizzed. Vlad was driving her nuts. “All for show! I bet the money ends up in the rogue's pockets.” Vlad sip his cup of coffee, while sitting in his fancy robs that were out of place on the makeshift bed of a couch. He gagged at the taste of the coffee, and made a face as if to tell Jazz his opinion of it, only to snap his mouth shut at the look she gave him. He cleared his throat, setting the coffee down. “BESIDES I was well within my right! What were you two thinking running off with those brats!?” Danny who was lazily poking at his scrambled eggs, “Thinking of kicking Dick and that it be funny to be kidnapped.” “Danny.” Jazz huffed, hands on her hips as she whipped back to face him. Danny just shrugged at her. “And you Jasmine!? Off with that boy! Have you lost your mind girl?! Bad boy look? REALLY-” “Not the first time-” Danny mumbled, only to get a look from Jazz. Message loud and clear, 'You're not helping!'. “Why can't you go to Harvard?! Or anywhere else!? I have the funds, my girl, just choose a place to go. You and Daniel don't have to stay in this filthy apartment, in this waste of a city! With terrible coffee and cat piss lining the hallways. You don't have to be here. That Asylum will get you killed and these vigilantes are like flies on a rotten carcass. So I trust them as little as I would Bruce to have a thought in his head!” Vlad moving dramatically, expressing with his hands as much as his voice. “I told you, Vlad. This is important to me! If I can learn and improve things here, then I can help so many more people than I could by being a family therapist. I could actually make a difference in their lives and the lives they affect. That's worth more than a comfy job writing psychology books and being a celebrity's psychologist.” Jazz huffed out of breath, tired of arguing her point. “And that's worth more than dying? What about Danny then?!” Vlad pointed out. His words making Danny flinch. Danny just stuffed his face with his eggs, looking away from them. He didn't want to be apart of this. “What if you perished because of your obsession with helping this god-forsaken place?! Of course I would take in Daniel, but his core would be damaged! Ghosts don't take grief well.” He hissed the last part. Danny frowned. Wanting to say he was fine, but the image of Dan made him shiver as he stabbed his eggs. At least growing up again means delaying looking like his future self... past.. self? He would only be four years younger than Dan was... Danny's eye twitched at the thought, hands clenching tight the fork in his hand. “I know that Vlad, but I have you know we TALKED about it. To get a doctorate in psychology will take years, so my plans won't even be in full swing until he's almost grown. Also I like to remind SOMEONE that I have nanobots in my blood stream so I be a bit harder to kill.” She put her hands on her hips. Vlad cleared his throat, looking away from her at the mention. He put the coffee mug to his lips, “Yes, well. I still think your obsession with this city is just as bad as your parents-” Vlad felt a dark chill down his spine that not even his hot watery coffee could warm. He quickly stammered to correct himself, “Oh. .did I .. I mean um. You know what, dear Jasmine. I-i think I may have been a little... dramatic. You are a grown woman and.. have.. your own ...ambitions. Who am I to judge...? hm?” He sipped his coffee loudly, as he stared at Jazz, whose eyes glimmered darkly. He was hoping that was enough to cool the situation. Jazz took a deep breath and turned away to grab her lunch bag and purse. Danny pushed from the table, hopping down to follow her, only for Jazz to put her hand in front of Danny to stop him. “Stay here with.. UNCLE Vlad, Danny. I'll be back at dinner.” Jazz running her fingers through her hair before putting it up in a ponytail. Danny stumbled back, confused. “What?! Why do I have to be punished?! Vlad's the one that-” “Danny, PLEASE. I just want to be alone, okay?” Jazz looked exhausted. Clearly she needed the break. Danny scrunched up his face and crossed his arms with a huff. Cursing Vlad in his head. “Don't worry about making dinner dear Jasmine! I-I'll order from that run-down- I mean quaint Italian restaurant you like.” Vlad doing his best to get on her good side, realizing how badly he slipped up with that comment. “Daniel and I will have a wonderful time.” Jazz and Danny both groaned as she turned to stomp out, closing the door with a hard slam behind her. Danny flinched at the noise, and rubbed his arm. He stared down at his feet. This was first time in a while he seen her so upset. If he wasn't so small, they wouldn't have to argue like that. They could dump Vlad and be on their merry way. Danny sighed, then he glanced over to Vlad who dramatically flailed back on the couch with a groan. A hand over his face as the coffee was set on the table. He too let out a loud sigh. “What am I going to do with that girl? Insisting on living like this- surely you would like somewhere better? Right Daniel?” “Danny. And it's fine.” Danny muttered as he walked over to the table where his breakfast still sat. He picked up his plate and decided to throw it away. He didn't feel hungry anymore. “You two don't even have to live with me! It could be an apartment in a safer place. Nothing too fancy.” Vlad waved his hand as he talked, the other still on his face. Danny snorted. Vlad's version of nothing too fancy was far drastic than their image of it. “Vlad, I don't even want you here, let alone a place you own.” “Yes yes. Because of the cloning, the murder plotting, and all that.” Vlad sighed again, before removing his hand off his face peaking at the corner where Danny emerged from the kitchen. “But seriously, you can't be happy here. Aren't you afraid of what could happen to her?” Danny flinched and stared down at his feet. He rubbed his arm as he swayed in his spot. He debated on answering him. “I'm fine.. and of course.. I worry. But I delayed her life already, she deserves to seek out her dreams, ya know?” Vlad stared at him and then rolled over on the couch with a groan. “You two will be the death of me.” Danny rolled his eyes as he moved through the living room. He glanced at the tv that was playing one of Vlad's favorite soap operas, and then glanced over to the door to his room. He debated on just watching videos or playing in his room, but.. He glanced at the front door. “Hey... Vlad?” Danny asked hesitantly, refusing to look at the man. “Yes, Daniel?” Vlad never moved to look at him either, his voice showing his exhaustion. His tired face staring at the tv screen. Danny stared at his hands, the question catching in his throat. Vlad waited a few moments, then shuffled to get up on his elbows, staring back at Danny with a raised brow. Danny twiddling his fingers, frozen. “Well? Get on with it.” Danny jerked staring back up at Vlad, matching his eyes. He blinked for a moment then glanced back to the side, taking a breath. Gathering his courage to ask in a squeaky, “......How's mo- how's our... parents doing?” Vlad's eyes stayed on Danny for a hard moment. Danny could see out the corner of his eyes, Vlad's flashing red with rage before cooling down. He sat up with a heavy groan, rubbing his face with his hand. Looking older by the minute. “Daniel-Danny.. its best you forget about them.” “I want to know.” Danny stated firmly or as firmly as he could. Vlad shook his head, looking away from the child. He propped his head on his hand, while he drummed his fingers with his other hand on the coffee table. His face morphing into sympathy or perhaps pity as he thinks about what to tell Danny. “They're still alive and bumbling fools.” Vlad rolled his tongue, trying not to let his anger get the best of him. “Do they.. still-” Danny tried to asked, afraid of the answer but wanting to hear it. His fist balling up in his shirt. “Yes. They still think you took their child- Danniel-Danny I really do think its best you stop worrying about them.” Vlad really reluctant to tell Danny more, not wanting to mention how delusional their parents had gotten. “I can't.” Danny stressed, pulling on his shirt. Vlad nodded, “Of course you can't. Oh what am I going to do with you?” Vlad's voice sounded more concern and gentle than Danny was use to. Danny stared at the floor, feeling his eyes water. Stupid. He knew the answer before he asked. He took breaths to keep his tears back and turned to run into his bedroom. The tv clicked off and he felt a ruffle of his hair before he could run. “I think we're overdue for a flight, don't you little badger?” Vlad smiled. “Don't try to teach me anything.” Danny said, his voice shakier than he would have like. “Don't plan on it, now come along. Be embarrassing to be out in our jammies.” Vlad ushering Danny towards the bedroom. “Jammies?” Danny questioned the childish nickname for pjamas. “Pjs, pjamas, sleepwear.” Vlad tiredly explained. Danny just frowned, but just wiped his face and sighed. He ran to his room to change, trying his best to forget about his parents again. He still didn't really get the answer he wanted, but perhaps its better he didn't know how far they were going.