#like if i dont wake up feeling better tomorrow i mean.

[bright-and-burning]

covid test started, 15 minute alarm set. will this be the very first time i test positive

[mihai-florescu]

Hyperfixated on learning, special interest in being smart

[arolesbianism]

I'm starting to see ppl talk abt updating their artfight pages and at first I was like what why it's still months away and then it hit me that by months it was two months and now I'm just silently sweating as my anual side project to remake the eternal gales refs and give them all icons comes back to haunt me

[be-good-to-bugs]

why can i not clean my room?

[nereidprinc3ss]

light of the morning

in which spencer sneaks into bau!reader's hotel room and they share a little more than just the bed

18+ (smut) warnings/tags: softdom!spence x sub reader, munch!spence, unprotected piv sex (dont do that), creampie (hate that word btw) praise, mentions of having to be quiet because morgan is right next door LOL, fluffy, established co-workers/friends with benefits, soooo idiots in love a/n: here is the promised smut. i am literally kicking my feet and twirling my hair and giggling and blushing at my own writing. I'm gonna have a freak out. requests are open like my legs

It’s late when the knock finally comes. Late enough that you’re dozing on the bed above the covers. 

It takes you a moment to reorient yourself—you’re rubbing your heavy eyes when you finally get the door. 

"Hi."

"Hey," says Spencer, hands awkwardly shoved into his pajama pants pockets. It’s funny, really. He never gets any better at this. 

You step aside and he enters the room, looking around as you close and relock the door. 

"Did I wake you?"

"How could you tell?"

"You’re in pajamas. And you look tired. I mean—you don’t look bad. You never look bad, I just meant… you don’t look tired but you’re not—I didn’t mean to—"

"Relax," you yawn, putting him out of his misery. "I was joking. I know I look tired." You glance at the digital clock on the nightstand. "It’s late. We have to be up early tomorrow."

"Yeah, I got, uh, sidetracked. Sorry."

He was reading. If it was anyone else, you'd be offended--but a sinkhole could open up under Spencer's feet and he probably wouldn't notice if he was absorbed in a book.

You shrug, a knowing smile lifting the corner of your mouth. 

"It’s fine. But I don’t know if tonight is a good night. I really am exhausted."

His eyebrows dart up. 

"That’s fine. That’s totally fine. I’ll just, uh—"

When you don’t move from in front of the door, he pauses, unsure. You bite the inside of your cheek, studying his rangy frame and choice of clothing. Blue pajama pants, slippers, grey CalTech zip up hoodie. It feels wrong to describe a 6'1 man as adorable, but that’s how he looks in his sleep clothes. There’s a very real chance, you find yourself thinking, that you are the only member of the BAU to ever see him in something other than slacks and a button-down. He looks so cozy that you kind of really want him in your bed even if he’s not doing anything but sleeping. The invitation slips out before you can think too hard about it. 

"You could… stay, anyway, if you want?"

His mouth parts slightly, and those eyebrows raise again. There’s a moment of awkward silence and you are very much beginning to regret your offer, wondering if you somehow violated the sanctity of your co-workers/friends with benefits situtationship. Clumsily you try to backtrack. 

"Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, you can—"

"No, no! You didn’t, I just don’t want you to feel obligated to invite me to stay in your room. I’m right across the hall, I can go back if you want me to."

You smile awkwardly, silent relief replacing the brief anxiety. 

"It’s fine. It’s not like we haven’t shared a bed before." And not like you wouldn’t have ended up doing it tonight anyway, if things had gone as originally intended.

He chuckles, looking to the floor and nodding. The blush on his face does not go unnoticed by you. "Fair enough."

It’s incredibly endearing how nervous he still gets after six months of this little arrangement. 

"Do you wanna get your stuff, or…"

"No, that’s okay. I’ll just go back early tomorrow. The chances of someone seeing me leave your room are significantly higher if I do it so soon after entering."

You squint, unable to tell if he’s fucking with you or if that’s an actual statistically sound probability. And then you realize, blissfully, that you don’t really care. 

"Okay, well. Make yourself comfortable. I’m just going to brush my teeth."

Once you’re enclosed in the bathroom, hotel vanity lights blinding you as you brush, you find that there is a jittery sort of apprehension buzzing in your chest. But that’s silly. As you yourself pointed out, the two of you have shared a bed many times over the past few months. But the sleeping together is always a byproduct of the sleeping together. Never have you shared a bed in a completely decent, virtuous, strictly non-sexual manner. It’s always been a matter of convenience—less bother if he doesn’t have to worry about sneaking back into his room in the middle of the night when you’re both exhausted. Or maybe that’s just what you’ve been telling yourselves. 

You rinse your mouth out and exit the bathroom, flicking off the light and finding that Spencer has indeed made himself comfortable. The hotel room is dark and he’s already under the covers, fiddling with his phone. 

"What time should I set the alarm for?" He asks, looking over at you as you crawl into bed, drawing the covers over yourself. "I was thinking 6:23. That should give me enough time to—"

"Sounds perfect," you affirm, wiggling under the blanket as you get comfortable. He schedules the alarm and sets his phone on the bedside table, dousing the room in complete darkness. Your eyes stay open despite, waiting for them to adjust. A few moments of utter silence and stillness pass, and you can tell Spencer is completely stiff next to you. 

"Spencer."

“Yeah,” he answers immediately. Like he’s even more wired about this whole situation than you are. 

"You know you don’t have to avoid touching me at all costs, right? I’m not a leper."

He looses a nervous laugh. 

"I know. We’ve just never really done this."

You frown at the darkness.

"We’ve definitely slept in the same bed before."

"Yeah, but… this feels different."

That, you can’t argue with. Can friends with benefits share a bed just to be near each other? Does that blur some line? And why does it feel more intimate than the sex? 

Screw it. If there is one thing you don’t want your relationship with Spencer to be, it is uncomfortable. Uncertain, you can work with. But not uncomfortable. You reach for him, hand sliding under the duvet—and find his hand already waiting for yours. 

"I don’t think it’s that different," you lie, interlacing your fingers together slowly. 

"Prolonged physical non-sexual contact does have measurable health benefits…" the words are murmured, like the moment is fragile and he doesn’t want to shatter it. 

"Can’t argue with the facts," you breathe, trying to modulate the shakiness of your voice. But you have a feeling you’re doing about as good of a job at concealing your nerves as he is. He shifts.

"Can I…"

"Yeah."

Your heart is pounding as he slips one arm under your neck and the other around your waist, pulling you close. Instinctually you curl into him, slinging your top leg over him as you’ve done before, but always dismissed as post-sex brain chemicals making you feel all warm and fuzzy. A neurological reaction that is so solidly scientific, neither of you ever questioned it. But it feels bigger now. 

He exhales as you settle against each other—a sound of relief that mirrors your own. He’s so warm, so safe as he envelops you, physically and sensorially. In such close proximity, so clear-headed, you notice each layer of his scent. Toothpaste, lavender, vetiver, detergent. You sort of feel like a creep, but you can’t deny how comforting it is. Nor can you deny the pirouette your heart does when he begins minutely rubbing your back, like he’s not even thinking about it. 

"Goodnight," you whisper into his shirt. 

"Goodnight," he whispers back. 

You fall asleep pretty quickly after that. 

------------------------------

It’s unclear what wakes you up—maybe it’s the blue-grey dawn light filtering in through the filthy window (doubtful, it’s still mostly dark) or maybe it’s the blinking green digital clock on the nightstand. 5:02 AM. Your alarm will go off in an hour and 21 minutes.

Sometime in the night you shifted, turning over in your sleep, but Spencer is still holding you close. The arm slung so casually over your waist is slightly domineering, but you manage to rotate again and face him once more. Mere inches away from his face you can see every detail. His expression is so peaceful, it makes your heart ache. 

But you’re just friends. 

Perhaps he felt you moving, because his eyes flutter open and you watch as they flood with consciousness. He takes you in, takes in his arm over your waist. For a split second you’re nervous he’ll pull away. 

"What time is it?" His voice is scratchy with sleep. 

"Five."

"Why are you awake? We have over an hour til the alarm goes off."

"Sometimes waking up early is okay."

His eyes flicker between your own, and momentarily you’re paralyzed as you realize this is a limbo state for the two of you in which you’ve never operated. You don’t know what’s acceptable. You don’t know what to do. Being close to him feels so good, that the idea of separating hurts. But you don’t want to make him uncomfortable, or—

He leans forward and kisses you softly. In the blue light of dawn, rather than frenzied and hidden in the dark, a desperate tear of clothes and teeth and hands—it’s almost freeing. All the anxiety you were feeling just seconds ago begins to melt. 

Friends. 

"You looked anxious," is his whispered answer after he pulls away a moment later, like a kiss is the simplest remedy in the world. He brushes a lock of hair behind your ear. "We should go back to sleep."

"I don’t want to go back to sleep."

The corner of his mouth twitches as he studies you.  

"No? What do you want?"

Emboldened by your mutual indiscretion, it’s your turn to kiss him. You feel him smile against your lips, hand finding the back of your neck and raking up through your hair to pull you closer. 

The delirium of sleep seems to have softened you, filed down the rough edges of your boundaries and kicked away the lines in the sand. What’s a kiss or two when you’ve just woken up? A small, innocuous display of affection while you’re still barely conscious. Nobody could fault either of you for that. People don’t think clearly when they’ve just been asleep.

So what if your lips part against his, and his other hand finds its way under your shirt to stroke the bare skin of your waist and hips? So what if you hitch that leg over him again and press closer?

Spencer breaks the kiss, still ghosting over your lips. 

"I thought it wasn’t a good night?"

"It’s not night time anymore, is it, genius?"

You sneak another kiss, nipping his bottom lip gently as you pull away. 

Instead of whatever array of responses you were expecting, Spencer smiles slightly, eyes almost sparkling in the faint light. The hand on your hip moves to your face, gently thumbing across your cheek. He begins to say something, and stops himself—biting his lip to hold back the words. 

"What?" you ask, heart dropping. Illusion fracturing. 

"I was just—" he begins, pausing for a moment before the words all come out in a rush. "I was just going to tell you how beautiful you are, but I don’t know if that’s something I should say, or if it would feel too… I don’t know…"

He trails off. A rare instance in which he doesn’t have the words. 

You do. Intimate. Real. Romantic. And he’s right, it does feel too much like all of those things. But that doesn’t mean you don’t like it, perhaps more than is strictly good for you. 

"It’s fine. Thank you."

He continues chewing on his lip for a moment. 

"Did I just ruin the mood?"

"No," you laugh, "not at all."

"Thank god," he sighs, surging forward again. 

"Since when do you thank god?" You manage between kisses. 

He moves to press his lips to your jaw and down your neck. 

"Do you want me to talk about the historical and cultural transition of religious expressions into ubiquitous secular colloquialisms right now?"

"Kind of," you breathe.

"No you don’t," he murmurs against your neck as his hands find the hem of your shirt. "You want me to take your clothes off."

Well, he’s not wrong there. 

You help him tug the shirt over your head before leaning back into the pillows as he situates himself over you and lavishes more kisses down your neck and collarbones, pausing to suck a mark only when he knows it’s low enough to be covered by your clothing later. 

You gasp when his lips brush over your nipple, before running his tongue over the sensitive skin. He glances up at you, and though his mouth is occupied, you can see the humor in his eyes. He loves how sensitive you are—how easy it is to get a reaction out of you. 

Of course, you continue to prove him right when he takes the other into his mouth, trying to hold back your little whimpers as he darts his tongue over the peak. Maybe somebody else wouldn’t hear them, but Spencer does. He’s hyper attuned to the sounds you make. Something of a catalogue has begun to form in the back of his mind; he knows exactly what each noise means and how to get them out of you. 

Once satisfied, he moves to press a kiss to your sternum. 

"You’re gonna be quiet for me, right?" Another kiss above your bellybutton. "Because Morgan is sleeping right on the other side of that wall, and we don’t want to wake him up."

"I’ll be quiet," you promise, somewhat breathlessly. Spencer’s mouth trails lower until he’s pulling your shorts down your legs, leaving you completely naked. He tosses them somewhere on the floor and hooks your legs over his shoulders. 

"Good." He plants one last kiss to your thigh and the next one lands right between your legs. 

You regret the need to be silent almost as soon as he drags his tongue over your clit. It’s not like the two of you have ever had the privilege of making a lot of noise, as the hotel rooms are always so close to each other, but it doesn’t make it any easier. 

Instead you opt to rake your hands through his hair and try to take deep breaths. But he knows exactly what you like—he knows starting light and slow, teasing around your most sensitive spot will work you up to the brink of insanity, just like he knows gentle circles make your back arch and elicit the prettiest little moans. 

"More," you beg, and the hands wrapped around your thighs rub soothingly, reassuring you that if you can just be patient you’ll get what you want. 

He takes your aching clit into his mouth, sucking lightly and you’re forced to clap a hand over your mouth, muffling the sob of pleasure you can’t hold back. Spencer keeps it up until you’re practically riding his face, teasing your dripping entrance with the tip of his tongue when you get too close. 

"Fuck, please, Spence," you whisper through your fingers, hips rutting in your desperation. Somehow it always ends up like this—with him in charge and you begging. Not that you have a problem with it, of course. 

He hums into you, and if the way his tongue moves back to circling your clit with newfound fervor is any indication, is apparently satisfied with your entreaty. 

You gasp and try to control your breathy moans, but his mouth feels so good on you that your vision is going out and you’re losing touch with reality ever so slightly. You use the last of your brain power to bite down on the back of your wrist, hoping it adequately muffles the noises you make as you come on Spencer’s tongue and he greedily continues lapping at you. There’s really no way of knowing—your ears are ringing anyway. 

When you come to a moment later he’s peppering kisses on your thighs, rubbing your hips gently. 

"So pretty," he murmurs, climbing back up so your lips can meet again. "Everything about you is pretty."

You paw at his shirt, signaling that you want it off as you moan at the taste of yourself on his tongue, feel your slippery arousal staining the kiss. Spencer helps you, sitting up briefly to unzip his hoodie and pull off his shirt. 

You’re the one to drag him back down, and you notice that he pulls the covers back over the both of you in a sweet gesture he probably didn’t even think about. 

"Need you to fuck me," you beg, reaching down to try and undress him further. 

"So crude. What happened to my nice, sweet girl?" He mumbles against your neck, but helps you with his pants anyway. 

"You must have me confused with someone else."

"Doubtful."

You don’t have much time to consider what that could mean before he’s running the head of his cock over your clit and you’re gasping into his mouth, saying please like it’s the only word you know. 

"There she is," Spencer croons, slipping inside you slow enough for you to feel every inch but quick enough for it to expel all the air from your lungs. Once he’s opened you all the way up, impossibly deep and close, you’re seeing stars, barely breathing. His head has dropped to your shoulder but now he drags his lips up your neck and jaw. "We okay?"

It’s been a while, you realize, since that last case in Maine. He always takes some getting used to. Hardly able to think around the pressure of his cock you nod, trying to string together a few words. 

"Fuck, I need a second." The words come out choked, but you manage. Spencer rubs your hip, his lips brushing yours as he speaks. 

"Relax, sweetheart. I don’t want to hurt you."

He curses to himself, dropping his head momentarily. You’re so fucking soft, and warm, and perfect, he can’t think straight. But he has to try because he has to take care of you. 

"Spence," you gasp, failing to verbally communicate the intensity of the physical sensation. 

"I know, baby," comes his sympathetic coo. "You know you can take me. Deep breaths."

"Mhm," you squeak, trying to take follow his directions and soften your muscles. Spencer keeps rubbing soothingly over your hips, stomach, whatever he can get his hands on, really, pressing kisses all over your face and telling you how good you are, how perfect you feel for him. After a few moments he feels you fluttering around him and experimentally pulls out halfway, before pushing back in equally as slowly. Your jaw drops as he begins to leisurely fuck you, arms wrapping around his back. He gets deeper than you expect every time, rubbing you raw and stretching you out in the most delicious way. 

"Perfect, baby. Such a good listener, did exactly what I asked."

You cry out when he begins fucking you impossibly deeper, but still so slow and sweet.

"You feel so fucking good for me," he groans. "This is what you were made for, huh?" You agree enthusiastically, eyes fluttering shut. 

"Only for you."

Just three words—but he wasn’t expecting to like hearing you say that as much as he does. A strong desire to possess you overtakes him—one that he’ll probably have the decency to feel guilty about later, but for now feels fucking fantastic and intoxicating. 

"Only me?"

You moan an affirmation. 

"Good. I don’t want anyone else fucking you, do you understand me?"

"Yes!"

"I’m the only one who gets to touch you," he breathes, speeding up ever so slightly, "nobody else is going to feel you like this. Such a good girl, spreading her legs for me at five in the fucking morning. You’re not doing this for anybody else, baby."

"Uh-uh, please, pleasepleaseplease Spence—"

He knows what you need, reaching a hand down between your bodies to rub your clit. 

You gasp an airy, high pitched curse, hips twitching but unable to escape the near-punishing rhythm of his own. It’s obvious that your orgasm is close, but you can’t even warn him, too overwhelmed with pleasure. He kisses you, swallowing your moans that have probably become just a bit too loud given the whole hotel thing. 

No words are exchanged between the two of you as you near the finish line for a change, open mouths slipping against each others in what is too messy to be called a kiss. Your orgasm body-slams you, a choked silent scream as you tighten around Spencer and he seems to come at nearly the exact same moment—deep inside you, slowly rolling his hips in a few more strong thrusts as he finishes. 

You let out a delayed moan at the sensation of being filled up, still pulsing around him as he comes to a halt, buried inside of you. He drops his head to your neck, and you can feel each breath against your flushed skin. Other than the panting, you’re both silent for a while. Spencer seems to gather himself sooner than you do, finally breaking the quiet. 

"You okay?"

All you can manage is a little squeak, at which he looses a breathy chuckle. His hand slides to your hip, gently stroking the skin with a thumb. 

"Need your words, angel girl."

"I’m okay," you coo into his shoulder, but he has to strain to hear it above his own breathing. 

"Yeah? Why so quiet?"

But it seems that at least for the moment, he’s gotten all the words he can out of you. When he tries to move, you whimper indignantly, clutching onto him tighter. 

"I really did a number on you this time, huh?" He laughs when you nod into him. "Are you falling asleep?"

"Mhm," you hum dreamily, little puffs of warm air slowing against his neck. 

"You can have…" he cranes his head to check the digital clock, "48 minutes."

"An hour."

He settles his weight on you once more, pressing a chaste kiss to your throat. His voice is low and gentle as he admonishes you. 

"I said 48 minutes."

But it doesn’t matter—you’re already asleep, or close enough to it. Spencer takes the opportunity to shift you to your side, and the way you wrap around him like a vine even unconsciously makes his heart ache. He really should go now—the earlier he gets out of your room the less likely certain complications will arise—but how can he possibly leave you like this? A vulnerable, dreamy girl with tangled hair haloing around her on the pillow case, clinging to him with blind trust that he’ll watch over her as she sleeps? No—there’s no way he’s leaving yet. Instead, he brings you closer. 48 perfect minutes will go by far too quickly, he’s sure. 

[agirlwithglam]

TEENAGE SUMMER (12-16yo)

so summer has finally arrived and school has ended. and ofc, we want that hot girl summer with the perfect body, mindset, habits, holidays, and a great time in general but what if we have sorta strict parents who are just.. parents. so here are some tips to have your dream summer and glow up but also make it family/ teenage friendly!

GLOW UP:

external glow up tips:

numero uno: WORKOUT. yes, ofc this is on here, what did u think? work.out. decide why u wanna workout first: healthy body? dream body? abs? being stronger? for happiness? for fun? then, you can find a workout on youtube / pinterest for the one you want. (also what i love doing is the workouts on pinterest where its related to a tv show- or just search up [movie/ show name] workout)

smell nice! perfume, scented shampoos/ body scrubs, etc.

SUNSCREEN. trust me, u DO want to put it on.

skincare! moisturiser, lip gloss/ lip balm, exfoliation, etc.

put cold spoons under your eyes in the morning to reduce puffiness.

u dont like something? fix it! i didn't like my teeth for a while, so i got braces. you can't fix it? stop worrying about it and just give it to god cus u got better things to do

MANIFESTING:

affirmations!! affirmations in the mirror, listening to them, repeating them, thinking them, they helped me SO much!

Believe you’re hot. As simple as that.

Visualisation. Imagine people giving you compliments and staring at you all day long

internal glow up tips:

confidence. duhhhh! heres a guide to self love& confidence

abundance mindset. everything works out in YOUR favour.

detachment. stop taking shite so seriously. honestly, if someones hating on you then pity them or laugh then move on. like ur too busy to spend even a second of your day to make someone feel bad about themselves or argue about something pointless.

keep learning! educate yourself, expand your knowledge and your mind.

HAPPINESS. the real glow up starts when you're genuinely happy with who you are and where you are. be a light, carefree, bubbly girl but also remember to set standards and boundaries. when you're just genuinely happy, life truly does start to get better.

hotness is a mindset.

other tips:

channel your little kid energy

take a bunch of photos! (at the end you'll basically have a pretty summer mood board)

don't be on your phone all the time. try to ✨socialise✨ your time on earth is limited don't waste it on crusty, unhot stuff. ur parents will thank you for this as well

romanticise it. (laugh. smile. wear nice clothes, talk to people, get lost in a daydream. appreciate the beauty in stuff. even if its just a sofa.)

be positive. quit complaining. be happy and focus on what you have. spread love and happiness! you're privileged and you are a privilege. act like ittt!

stay present minded. live here, now.

listen to groovy, aesthetic-themes music. to get u into the moooddd!

become a better person. a better daughter/ son, sibling, friend, person in general.

GET OUTSIDEEEE!!!! TOUCH SOME GRASS. its sunny, its summer, why tf r u staying indoors????

sleep girl. sleep. just because you don't have to wake up early tomorrow, does not mean you can stay up till 2am watching netflix. sleep makes your skin glow, makes you look prettier, makes you happier and 10000 more benefits. so sleep.

channel your creativity! (paint, draw, sketch, write, poetry, music, etc.)

play. you're still young!! have fun and do silly and embarrassing things while you still can!!!!!!!

create a summer mood board!

channel a certain era- barbie summer, blair waldorf summer, hot girl summer, etc.

bucket list ideas:

go to a park

redecorate your room

spa day (w friends)

girl slumber parties! (face masks, girlie things, movies)

volunteer somewhere

beach day!

write letters and kiss them (like those pretty pinterest summer!)

go biking (i love doing it in the mornings)

bake! (cakeeee)

get back into some old hobbies (childhood nostalgia)

gardening. care for a plant (then talk to it when you feel sad ur won't be insane i promise)

look at the sunrise / sunset

read dude. just read and romanticise it with a pretty comfy space

make a goal. then work on it so hard that you get it!

learn something new (for me i rly wanna learn crochetting)

scrap booking

do a workout with friends

video diary!! (film everythinggg)

make jewellery (u can sell them after if u want. also there are tons of jewellery making kits on amazon or toys r'us!)

donate / sell stuff (like books and toys)

flower press (with printer tho)

dance with your friends

wear jewellery!! summer necklaces, bracelets, etc!

go for walks (w friends)

get your nails done. (you don't have to go out to get them done. you can do it yourself. i dont have nail polish but my friend does so we love putting it on together)

make some new friends! (join clubs, visit new places, talk to people, join classes,)

go to the beach

"what makes life so beautiful is the fact that it ends"

[t3ag3rs]

g e n s o - 1 4.

was this rushed? sorta. does it matter anymore? a bit.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

*ping!*

you turn over from your position on the bed and pick up your phone. 'who in the hell is texting me in the middle of the night?' you squint your eyes as you adjust to the bright light emitting from your phone. 

"who is this..?" you mumble seeing a random contact text you.

you gasp sitting up and widening your eyes. you read the message and quickly save the contact under one name- bakugou.

"hey genso. u up?"

"yea wsp"

"im bored and ur the only one up."

"do u wanna do sum?"

"sure but what" "fuck that. u wanna ft?"

you let out a muffled squeal kicking your legs giddily. 'yo no way chat- is this w rizz??' you quickly turn on your side lamp and sit against your head board.

"yea sure. js call whenever"

bakuhoe😰‼️ is calling...

you answer looking at bakugou through the screen and feel your mind blank at the sight.

hes laying in bed.

arms folded under his chin.

shirtless.

muscles showing in all their glory.

and shirtless.

"sup' genso" he grins slightly, "put a damn shirt on- your ruining my perfect vision" u groan playfully covering your eyes. he rolls his eyes adjusting so that he was propped up on his forearms now, "that better?" he smirks.

"ugh- your so annoying..!" you chuckle causing him to join in lightly as well. "but genuine question.. dont you usually sleep early? why are you up so late?" you ask curiously.

"i was jus' thinkin'... " he mumbles looking down, picking at his pillow slightly.

"bout' what?" you question, sensing a change in his tone.

"how do you know if you like someone..?" he asks quickly- almost too quick.

"woahhhh.." you tease, "does kacchan have a crushhhhh?" you say sarcastically.

"shut up genso! just answer the damn question!" he yells making you put down the volume quickly.

"okokok!" you chuckle, "i mean- if you like a person you should feel this like- jittery feeling in you stomach- but not in the 'im-scared-to-present-in-front-of-the-class-way.' its like a warm feeling yk?" you say as you look down, eyes softening slightly. 

"anytime that person is mentioned you immediately listen in, and every time you see them its like everything around you just..." you trail off.

"stops." he finishes softly, glancing at you through his phone. he took notes of the way your hair slightly fell over the side of your eyes and the old acne scars littered across a tiny spot on your cheek that he suddenly found endearing.

"yea.. you should feel as if every time your with them the world just goes quiet.." you mutter looking up at him through your phone. memorizing every inch of his face, like how one strand of his hair fell instead of spiking up and how his lips seem to pucker slightly when he isnt scowling.

you shuffle quietly and place your phone on your night stand before laying down to face it. "soooo..." you start awkwardly as you yawn.

"so..?" he replies mirroring your position. "you tired genso?" he asks, noticing your yawn.

you nod slightly, "a bit yeah.. we need to wake up early tomorrow no?" you mumble glancing up at him through droopy eyes. 

he nods, holding back a small smile. "yeah- yeah we do genso..." he says slightly softer than usual as he watches your eyes droop. 

"you wanna stay on call..?" you suggest tiredly as you close your eyes.

"oh..uh- sure.." he says feeling his cheeks heating up. "night genso.." he says softly.

"night baku.." you mumble, trailing off slightly as you feel yourself fall asleep.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

bakugou lays down and sets his phone next to him. he glances at your peacefully sleeping face and lets out a low curse as he props himself up on his elbow and takes a quick screenshot.

he quickly lays back down as a wave of embarrassment and realization hits him. 'Whyd i do that?? god bakugou pull yourself together..!'

he groans softly feeling frustrated that he didnt know what to do. "i cant like her.. theres no time for that now..! i have to train-" he mutters.

he glances at you on his phone again. his eyes soften slightly before he tears his gaze away "no. i cant- i would just end up hurting her." he sighs.

he ends the call.

'she deserves better..'

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

you walk to school with music blaring in your ears.

you had so many questions.

who did bakugou like? 

howd he get your number? 

whyd he call you instead of everyone else? 

how come the call ended after just an hour?

you sit in your seat before quickly stealing a glance at bakugous seat only to find him not there. 'weird.. bakugous usually always early..' you take out your phone to send him a text.

"where r u?"

you wait as you see him read your message.

"yk i can see that u read it right?"

"i dont feel good is all.""woke up and felt like shit"

"are u coming down with smth?' "i can take notes for u if u want"

"no its fine.""i dont need ur pity."

you purse your lips as you read his messages. there was obviously something more to it, but you didnt pry.

"okay well feel better then.."

he reacts to the message with a thumbs up. you roll your eyes'bros tryna be nonchalant but it isnt working out..'  you cant help but chuckle at your own thoughts, 'man no one makes me laugh the way i do..'

once class started you pulled out an extra sheet and started writing notes for bakugou just in case he may want them even though he said he didnt.

finally, the bell rang signaling the end of the day. you pack your stuff and walk over to bakugous house for the first time since elementary.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

you knock the door softly before adjusting your hair. as the door opens you smile to see mistuki at the door. 

"y/n!!" she exclaims hugging you tightly.

you smile hugging back, "hi mrs. bakugouuuuu..!"

you grin up at her, "ive just brought some notes for katsu- sorry- bakugou. is he feeling any better..?" you ask, turning slightly worried.

"oh hun, i dont even know.. hes locked himself up there all day. he hasnt ate or anything.." she says sighing and rubbing her temples. "can you please do me a favor and go up there with some food and see if he'll listen to you?"

you widen your eyes "i dont know about tha-..!" you yelp as she pulls you in and hands you a plate to take upstairs.

"thanks hun! your the best!" she laughs, pushing you up.

you walk up quietly and knock on his door, "bakugou...?" you call out, "its ..y/n i brought you the notes and some food... open the door- please..?" you ask nervously.

you hear some shuffling before the door opens slightly revealing a tired looking katsuki with a shirt pulled halfway down.

"can i come in..?" you ask with a small awkward smile.

he nods and opens the door for you to walk in. "thought i said i didnt need the notes genso..." he mutters gravely.

"yeah well.. i figured you wouldnt wanna stress about doing it so.." you trail off placing the notes down and looking around his room. "it hasnt changed much huh..?" you say with a soft smile. noticing a photo that looked much to familiar you walk up to his bedstand, "is that..?"

he nods, "yea.." he croaks out as he sits down on his bed.

you pull out your phone showing the same photo in your phone case with a smile. "its one of my favorites.." you admit, sitting next to him and handing him the food. "here- you should eat if you wanna get better.."

he nods and grabs the bowl from you as he starts to eat. you glance back to the photo on his bedstand.

it was you and bakugou when you were younger.

you two were tangled together sleeping side by side with only one thing in common,

the all might themed friendship bracelets katsuki has made.

the heart between the two initials representing something more deeper than y/n knew at that time...

love.

previous parts: pt. 0 0 / pt. 0 1 / pt. 02 / pt. 03 / pt. 04 / pt. 05 / pt. 06 / pt. 07 / pt. 08 / pt. 09 / pt. 10 / pt. 11 / pt. 12 / pt. 13 next part: pt. 15 / pt. 16

☆taglist! @katszumi @coolgirl458 @niktwazny303 @twinnintwink @froggybich @friedmagazineprincess

[reasaph]

"I don't believe in God, but I believe that your my savior.

Soshiro Hoshina x Suicidal Fem reader!

Summary: (name) a person who has no beliefs, no reason and no will to live gets hospitalized after another attempt. There, she meets Soshiro Hoshina and looked forward to waking another morning ever since.

Authors note: THIS FEELS SO RUSHED AHHH. I don't like how reader likes him at first meeting :((, I'll try to do better next chapter.

TW: Suicide, self-destructive behavior, cussing, reader gets attracted a lil to fast, Injury, mention of drugging, the angst lessens at the end.

The title is from the song "Sailor song" by Gigi Perez!

Part 1

You oh so desperately wanna fuck with death. You wonder if The reaper is gentle when leading you to its chambers. The thought crosses the cocoon of your brain every time you gamble with your life on edge.

Every time a noose is slipped past the crown of your head and on the way to envelope your neck in the most lovingly way its ever been craddled. Every time you swallow those intoxicating pills which you found and deemed adorable because of its miniature size, theyre so small, perfect for the way they kill you off slowly (atleast was supposed to).

In every attempt, you wonder, will death be as beautiful as you imagined?

This time is no different.

The breeze felt nice, it was cool against your skin. The sun was shining brightly, much to your predicament. Its as if it was mocking you, screaming at your presence 'the day will not mourn you, go ahead and jump but not a soul will bat an eye or shed a tear'. Your feet carey you to the very edge, step by step. As odd as it may be, you dont wanna die on such a lovely day. It opposes the idea of your ideal and perfect suicide. You want the skies to feel as you feel. You want the clouds to heave and the horizon to dim. Your plan seems to be soiled by the tilt of earths axis just for today.

"I'll try tomorrow."

All of a sudden, the realization of how close you actually were to the edge hit you like a truck. It made you wobble and lose balance. Again, the world had other plans for you. It always does, never in your years of living has life been cooperative and actually side with you for fucking once. You learned to not care anymore, Embracing the wind as you fall, enjoying the nice breeze before your head cracks. It was warm when you hit the ground and it was oddly comforting. You could feel your eyes already dropping so you let them. You let your consciousness get taken away, you have no reason to fight anymore. You let yourself get lost, not bothering the sirens echoing in the background.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You thought there was no next day for you. You were wrong, utterly wrong. You wake up in a hospital room. It was blindingly white, and the light on the ceiling only added to it. You had a hard time adjusting to the flashing hue's of the room. You could here the rhythmic beating of the machine beside you, lines drewn on the screen. It means your heart is still beating, it means your still alive. You could only sigh at that. A few couple minutes passes before a doctor came in, accompanied by a nurse. They checked your vitals and gave you fresh doses of whatever medicine. You dont care what they put inside your body, you'd just prefer if it was an some kind of sedative that could kill you.

"Every thing seems fine, no bad reactions and readings. Although for a few broken bones. Your lucky your fall was short, another floor high and your Skull wouldve cracked." he informs you. He doesn't even try to cover the grimace soaking his voice. Hes disgusted by you, Of course he is. You wish you could unsee the final glance he gave you as he exited the room, the nurse following in suit.

As soon as the door slides, It was only you again. Your thought's look back to replay he said, Lucky? You dont deem life precious enough to think that surviving is lucky. The next few hours were agonizingly painful. Like any other day, you just sat down on a matress and stared at the pristine marble on the floor or the peeling paint of the walls. It was only a Matter of time before you bang Your head repeatedly as a form of entertainment. You couldn't take it anymore, your mouth felt as dry as a dessert and your legs are aching to move.

You put on your slippers and the next minute you find yourself roaming the Labrynth of these hospital walls. You force yourself to walk even if your legs still hurt, in result you just limp. You were pretty sure you looked like a corpse in others eyes right now, dragging your feet and breathing as if you were just being forced to, not to mention the hospital gown your wearing. If you dont find a vending machine in the next counting Seconds, you were sure your gonna trip. A few more given minutes adventuring through hallways and dragging the weight of your body with your damaged leg and your perseverance was graced with the finding of the cafeteria.

There was tons of food to fill a plate with, but you only came here for a drink. Besides, you dont like the feeling of being full. It was always uncomfortable to you every time your stomach filled to the brim, you always vomit a lil after a full meal. You make your way to the lined up vending machines, entertained by the numerous colorful hues on the labels of the drinks. There are a variety to choose from; coffee probably for stressed out doctors, flavoured juice probably for children and lots more to choose from. You look at the prices and grimace, a bottle of water here costs twice more than a bottle of water outside. You could guess the reason why, yet still find it unbelievable. Companies are shit.

Patting the depths of your pockets to grab your wallet. Your eyes widen when you don't feel its shape bulging through the fabric. You shoved your hand in the pit and grieve the fact that no solid matter was occupying its space. You honestly felt like sobbing. You dragged yourself all the way here and it'll result to nothing. Theres no one to blame but yourself, really. You were always told that you never used your brain for common sense, if someone could see you right now, they'd laugh at your idiocity for sure. And no, you didn't feel the presence approaching you from behind.

"Uh can i use it now—?"

You've never whipped your head so fast that you swear you heard something crack. But you dont care about that, the only thing that you poured all your utmost attention is the man in front of you, staring directly at his face and him reciprocating. The first thing you took notice of is his hair, a mesmerizing blob of purple. You never thought once in life you'd find a bowl cut plesantly aesthetic to look at.

"Mam, ya ok? Yer staring at me like ya'v seen a ghost." He has a dialect, ok, thats added to the list.

"No, uh. I forgot my wallet, my bad. I'll be on my way now." You said you were going yet you havent moved a muscle. You still havent moved away from blocking the vending machine and you curse yourself for it. You could only blame it on your leg, but theres something else holding you back. He'll probably shove you away, wont he? You hope he would, so you'd snap out of your weird episode and get going.

"Ya look like you've been dragged here. Move, I'll treat you."

That was unexpected. You never thought those were the bunch of words that would come out of his mouth. He's smilling to, revealing the fang thats been covered. Does he actually mean it? No, thats not the question you need to ask. Does he have as much interest in you as you have with him? Or is he just this friendly by nature?

"Really? Thank you very much.. Sir?"

"Hoshina, Soshiro Hoshina. And ya dont need to call me sir. "His laugh made you stagger, it was melodic. A tune rivalling the most beautiful songbirds. You drag yourself to a bench and sit down as he drops coins down the slot. You look at him the entire time, drinking every detail about him you can possibly take in. The fact that he has bandages all over his figuer A the hospital gown, the scarlet of his pupils that reveals itself everytime he opens his eyelids, the way his hands were bruised and calloused with seemingly really old scars. All of it, you wanted to learn as much as you can.

" here, hope ya like coffee." He has that huge smile on his face again, maybe thats what intrigued you so much. How he smiles like he's never been unfortunate since his day of birth. It pissed you off but also made you extremely envious.

"Thanks, I'll make it up to you next time." You dont know what you meant by that. What next time were you talking about? No way, you actually want to see him again. No way, because never have you ever looked forward to anything despite your last breath. So why were you making excuses just to spend eVen a second more in his presence?

"Next time, huh? Sounds great, although You dont really hafta."

"I want to. Breakfast tomorrow at 8?"

"Oho, really straightforward aint ya, lil miss?"

"(Name)"

You wonder if you've said anything wrong because of the evident look of confusion on his face. Immediately, you try to redeem yourself.

"I've never mentioned my name. "

That worked, you thought, because Of the way he let out an Exgerrated 'ohh' as if the clogs in his brain started functioning again.

"Then, nice to meet ya, (name)!"

And then one thing lead to another. The conversation between you two kept going on, from one topic to another. The topics ranging from 'dont you think the cafeteria nuggets are fire?' to talks about the theories of shows you two happen to both watch. No personal questions were asked yet between the two of you. But you oh so badly want to ask the reaskn hes hospitalized right now and covered in bandages. Of course you dont utter a word about it, not wanting burst the bubble that created a comfortable atmosphere between the two of you. Here, On the bench with him. Its the most joyous you've been in months. If you could be greedy, you'd just stay here with him. But thats not gonna happen, no way life had given him to you for a good reason. But for now, you'll bask in every moment you spend with him.

You'll have a reason to wake up next morning.

[tpwkwriter]

hiii so i have a request! Could you do one like still in harry's 1d days. So like y/n is louis sister and she has been friends with the band since the beginning and harry has been in love with her since he first laid eyes on her and all that. But he never told her because she always had a bf but those bfs would never treat her right like always ignoring her and flirting with other girls so harry kept this like journal where he wrote how in love he is with y/n and how he would treat her right, how he know everything about her all the little things and how no one could love her as much as he does. So then one day like during prince hair harry her and harry are sharing a hotel room with seperate beds (ofc haha, but because they have always been best friends) and y/n finds this journal and like reads all the things he has written and then she goes to him and is like "well, if i didnt know any better i would say mr styles has a crush on me" and he gets all nervous and says that it isnt just a crush and he is in love and that and then he asks "will you be my girlfriend. I cant' go another day of not kissing you, hugging you, touching you I cant stand you not being mine" and y/n finds it very sweet but she is very insecure and kind of rejects him in a nice way because she feel they will critisise her because they expect harry to be w a model and gorgeous girl and harry is tells her how beautiful she is and how he feel in love the moment they met and how it didnt matter what the world thought because no one can love her like he can and he know eveything about her so he asks again "will you let me be your boyfriend" and she finally agrees and then he holds her close and protectively and then y/n starts tearing up and says sorry because she was being silly and he says "dont be. Its not silly, baby. I'll be her to wipe every tear and to comfort you. Your heart is safe here, you are safe with me, my love" and then how they spend the first night together because well they share a hotel room and then the morning after harry saying how happy he is and how he has always dreamed about it and then they meet with the boys and tell em the news and they are all very happy and are like "about time" and yeah hope you understand it thank you again so much it would be great i feel its so cute! <3

Does he know?

OMGOMG THANK YOU FOR THISS!! the detail you put in and the image it painted in my head AHHH❤️

I’m so sorry this has taken so long!! I really wanted this to be perfect!! 🌷 but thank you for your patience It means the world x

Warnings: jealousy, mentions of toxic relationships, cussing, smutty themes if you squint, pent up emotions.

— — — — — — —

— early 2013 —

Harry’s fingers held a ballpoint pen between his fingers, the lined paper sat empty on the table adjacent to him.

There new album ‘midnight memories’ was due mid November of this year, he loved his job but these deadlines took the piss.

‘Fuck’ he whispered to himself, he didn’t realise the clock had gone over midnight.

The shared tourbus was at a halt for the night the rest of the four boys remained in there bunk and no one heard a peep from them through the rest of the night.

“Y’alright H?” Y/n said Peeling the curtain that separated the bunks to the lounging area of the bus, and pulling it back behind her.

“Sorry y/n, did i wake you?” He quietly asked, dropping his pen instantly.

He would be lying if he said he didn’t have a crush on y/n, she was also the youngest of the Tomlinson family so her and Harry grew up together at the same time and age, hitting each milestone and big birthdays together.

“No, no not at all” she waved, sitting on the sofa next to his.

“What y’doing awake still?” She asked, taking a sip of her water.

“Tryna get song ideas, getting absolutely nowhere” he said, crossing his arms back and leaning back on the cushions.

“What are you doing awake? He smirked.

“Can’t sleep, excited for tomorrow” she smiles.

“Haven’t seen you all on stage for a while” she added.

They sat and spoke for awhile, what y/n was oblivious of is how many ideas he was racking up watching her.

She reached her arm out to grab her water bottle, her wrist was exposed from her hoodie sleeve for a second, what Harry didn’t expect was to see an inky drawing.

“Is that a tattoo?” He asked.

“Oh this?” She askers pulling her hoodie up her arm.

“Yeah, me and Louis got matching a few days ago, a random spontaneous idea that popped into our heads” she laughed repressing the day her and her older brother got matching ‘28’ tats.

“It’s funny because ben, hasn’t even noticed it, and it’s like our 4th month together” y/n mentioned, a slight frown forming on her face.

Harry’s heart teared a tiny bit, she was still with this ‘Ben’ it was clear none of the boys got on with him, he wasn’t the bestest of boyfriend.

“Really?” He asked, eyes widening.

“Mmhmm, don’t know what to do about this whole Situation-ship thing”

“Well, do you love him?” He asked, fiddling with the hem of his band tee.

“I can’t say I do Harry” she sighed, “but there’s a part of me that feels bad” she added.

“Don’t feel bad, if it’s not meant to be, s’not meant to be”

All y/n wanted to do was scream out her attraction to him, something clicked in, the soft and gentle words he spoke, the way he still looked good at 1am after a busy day, the way he made a band tee look like piece of designer. Y/n wasn’t sure what happened.

Y/n soon enough found herself back in her bunk, trying to push down her sudden butterflies, hoping it’s just a 1am sleepy thought, the last thing she wants is to thirst over her brothers best friend.

When y/n and Harry exchanged there goodnights, he instantly got back to his paper.

‘Does he know’ he whispered.

‘Does he know’ he repeated.

‘Your secret tattoos?” He asked himself.

He instantly jotted these phrases to himself.

Harry tried to think to himself of the little things you do.

Maybe you could be his muse this time around?

—

It was 8:45am the next day the bus was off again at 5pm so for now they could relax.

Y/n believed she was alone on the bus, she thought the boys were out doing the coffee run, she thought wrong.

“But she doesn’t know who I am, and she doesn’t give a damn about me” she sang whole continuing to organise her suitcase on her bunk.

As the beats of ‘teenage dirtbag’ continue, she moves her body to beat and sing.

“Cause I’m just a teenage dirtbag baaby” she sung.

“Y/n you may be a Tomlinson doesn’t mean you can sing like one though” he interrupted, almost kicking the tourbus door open and walking over to her bunk with her Starbucks in hand.

“Heeeey, I’m a lovely singer, it should be me selling out O2” she said with pride.

“She got you there tommo” Niall piped in walking in.

“See” she giggled.

“Thank you for this lou” she dragged taking a sip of her iced coffee.

“No problemo, me and and the lads are heading to the studio in a bit y’ can come if you want?” Louis offered sitting on his bunk opposite to y/n’s.

“Yeah will do” she answered.

At this point all boys were back on the bus enjoying some quality time together, but all Harry could think of was the remaining lyrics.

‘The songs that you sing when your all alone?’ He thought to himself, that’s a keeper.

——beginning of where we are 2014——

In past year y/n and Harry had become closer than ever, it’s was a night at the MSG, the boys opted on a hotel instead of the bus, to Louis’ dismay y/n and Harry were up for sharing a hotel.

“Neither of you better be doing anything” Louis called the opposite of the hotel door.

“Fuck sake lou, you can come in” she laughed, laying her head back on the hotel bed frame.

The door clicks open to see a wet head louis, who was still clad in his joggers and ‘the who’ tee.

“You nearly ready Harry!” He called, pulling his phone out and glancing the time.

“Yeah man” he said emerging from the bathroom.

“Have fun tonight guys” she called out as they both met each other at the door. “I’ll be sure to watch some shitty livestream of you all prancing about on stage” she laughed.

“Thanks love” Louis said rolling his eyes.

“See you y/n don’t get too lonely without us” Harry smirked flashing her a wink while adjusting his head scarf which kept his unruly curls at bay.

“Bye boys” she called as they slowly walked off and headed to the arena.

They had been gone about an hour and y/n knew they wouldn’t be back till maybe after midnight.

She decided to set down and get ready to stay in her bed and have a relaxed night.

When unpacking her bags and digging to find her favourite pyjamas she was sure she packed. A large ‘thump’ was heard the other side of the room.

“Shit” she jumped.

A relieved smile, when it was something falling out of Harry’s suitcase.

She turned her head and spotted a brown, leather notebook that was lying on the carpet by his bags.

Once y/n had picked out her pjs for the evening, she walked over to the bed she picked out in the hotel room.

She placed them down by her pillows and was about to reach out for her phone by the charging port until something about this note book, caught her eye, ‘one and only’ was scribed into the leather with black ink.

She knows she shouldn’t, she knows that not hers, that’s Harry’s, that’s his property not y/n’s but there was something pulling her in a feeling she couldn’t push down.

A shaky breath left her mouth as her fingers reached out towards the book in front of her.

She peeled back the smooth cover:

23rd of February 2013

Ben doesn’t know how lucky he is, such a smart, beautiful, caring woman, how could he take her for granted??.

Y/n’a heart was running a Marathon.

“No” she said louder than she anticipated.

She flicked to the next page:

28th February 2013

‘All of us were at the studio this evening I couldn’t stop staring at y/n, I feel terrible knowing it’s my best friends sister, but she is wonderful’

Her mind was now matching her palpitating heart, a million thoughts were being processed at that moment.

He really thought the same the whole time?

She quickly flicked another.

3rd of March 2013

Write a couple of songs for midnight memories is it bad to say there all inspired by one person.

If she was mine she wouldn’t be ignored or treated terribly, I hope Louis talks to her about this Ben.

Y/n did agree with this statement getting rid of Ben was the best thing she’s done.

But she didn’t know Harry was the one with a crush.

She couldn’t believe her eyes, he really felt the same? He really did like her? She was almost hyperventilating.

10th of March 2013

I’ve noticed when y/n gets anxious she plays with the ends of her hair, I wish I could just scoop her into my arms and tell her it’s going to be okay.

Ben is finally out the picture, hopefully she can be with someone who knows her self worth.

Her heart is beaming, butterflies fill each side of her tummy, her mind still feeling a little delusional and still very much in disbelief.

Maybe this was her sign to take there friendship another level up.

She slammed the cover over the paper and decided if she’d read anymore she’d become a crimson red mess.

She gently tucked it into the suitcase of where it fell and tried to go on as normal.

She decided to wait up for Harry and see what she could do about this, she couldn’t hide this any longer she wish she knew sooner about his little crush.

It was just past midnight and she heard the hotel room key click in approval.

A tired looking Harry appears.

“Y’alright” she quietly asked.

“Mmm” he hummed shutting the door behind him.

Y/n move to one side of her bed, and patted the empty space beside her, inviting him to join.

Wether it was just his sleepy mind, but he took no time and accepted her invitation.

Y/n let him adjust to the light, and get comfortable not wanting to overload him already.

“Y’okay” he asked, noticing her thinking face.

“Yeah” she smiled.

“Well if I didn’t know any better, than I think that you mr styles have a teeny crush” she said, a breathy laugh leaving her mouth.

His eyes widened, now it it was his time to go red.

“Wha-“ he nervously laughed.

“I guess y’right” he said looking straight ahead at the blank wall.

“Y/n, m’gonna be honest”

“I’m in love with you”

Y/n’s heart pounded inside her chest, this is real? This was real life, he admitted.

“Harry” she blushed.

“And I know, it’s probably weird, we’ve been friends for 4 years now and on a random night , I’m now saying this but, seeing you keep hurting yourself on these boys that don’t understand you, it hurts”

“Harry-“ her cheeks becoming a strawberry colour.

“Be my girlfriend?” Harry blurted.

Y/n’s ears almost burned at the question, Someone she actually had interest in liked her back? And wanted to be with her? She felt like. Lovesick teenager again.

She wanted this, more than ever.

But Louis.

Realistically there was nothing wrong with it, they were the same age, and both wanted it.

“I can’t stand another day, not touching you, not hugging you, not wiping your tears away” he added, which caused y/n’s thought process to halt.

“Harry, y’too good for me” she started, a glossy layer had formed over her eyes.

“Y’need someone better, your options are so big” she said head almost dropping to her lap.

“Hey” he said taking using his index finger and thumb to guide her chin up.

“What I’ve learnt is your the one I want, haven’t been able to settle because of you y/n”

“Be mine?” He asked once again leaning his forehead on hers using his free hand to wipe the tears away.

“Please” he whispered, this is all he’s wanted.

Worried that her words would fail her at that moment all she could do was frantically nod.

“Yeah?” He smiles, there noses basically touching at this point.

“Words baby, need y’words” he reminded.

“Yeah, yes harry yes” she smiled, tears still manage to cascade her cheeks.

“Thank fuck” he breathed, now hesitating to wrap his arm around the girl, oh how he’s longed to do that.

The girl crashes into his touch, not taking her time either.

“Your okay, y’safe in my arms love” he whispered into her hair, pressing his long awaited kisses.

— the following morning —

Both Harry and y/n were getting ready to meet the rest of the lads on the bus, which was round the back of the hotel.

“How are we gonna tell them?” Harry asked getting the rest of his stuff.

“They’ll understand, Louis will be unsure but he’s my brother he can’t hate me forever” she laughed.

She pressed a kiss to his cheek, and they made there way to the boys.

“Guys we have something to tell you all” y/n began.

— — — — —

[theosconfessions]

@ohsosims

if youd like to read the stephens from the beginning you can over here:)

if youd like to read the stephens continued you can over here:)

theo- you sleeping? dustin- hmm? what happened? is it the twins? ill get them theo- theyre good..for once. dustin- are you okay? you feeling okay? lately youve been... theo-dusty..take it down some levels, supermom. im good kids are good. dustin- then why are you waking me up at ..11pm. dude, how long have we been asleep? theo- welcome to living with an old man. dustin- for real, im too young for this. theo- youre too young for a lot of this but... dustin- theo ive honestly dealt with a lot more and a lot worse in this marriage than having your old man-isms rub off on me. theo-[smirks] this is what im kinda freaked out about.. dustin- what do you mean? theo- im doing that shit with scarlett tomorrow. i just wanna make sure we're okay before i do. dustin- why wouldnt we be? theo- seriously dustin- im being serious theo. theo- i mean good. great. im just going to talk about a lot of heavy shit that happened to me. to us. and i just want to make sure YOURE okay with that. with me. i love you so much and i know that i never show that shit. but i want to do you right. seriously. i want to be better here. make this better. dustin-i dont know what you want me to say theo.

[sleepy-vix]

journal/braindump 26/3/24

i hope life gets better soon. school is so miserable and weird and i just constantly feel like my physical shape is blurred and i'm but a a faceless entity drifting through the crowded and sweaty halls. when i speak to people it feels like i have to physically force myself to and i'm always so conscious of the fact that i would really love it if i were alone and not speaking to anybody at all.

i don't feel confident in myself and i feel like this year has passed by way too fast and i feel like just attempting to live feels like a bunch of cold sand is piled in my hands, and like sand does, it slips easily through my fingers and all i can do is watch. i feel so stupid and so naive all the damn time

for a while i had believed that everything would be okay, and then for a while after that i believed that i should kill myself. i'm okay now, i still feel very unsettled and it's like i'm not really me but i feel fine enough to function and i feel fine enough to live and wish to keep on living

i wish to keep on living

tomorrow i will wake up early and i will make myself coffee and i will sit down and read (i've had reading block for 2 days- which seems short but its annoying for me bc i really really want to read but i feel too restless and distracted to). i'll try to be nice to myself and protect my peace really hard and go on walks or something

i find that watching youtube videos where people just sit and talk, or rearrange their house and books, is really calming to me. i can't wait to just sit in front of the tv with a cup of matcha and a box of chocolates and just watching people talk, or watch all the movies ive been meaning to watch for sooo long

autumn is rolling around, and i'm infinitely greatful that it is because i always feel so inspired during this season. autumn makes me want to read, it makes me want to watch more films and eat more food and drink warm drinks that make me feel okay inside.

i also hope to pick up journalling again, but i'm not sure if i will because i don't have my own printer for images and idk what to journal but i have recently tried to just draw pictures- ive recently written journal pages on what i want to read, and also an "about me" page, and hand drew pictures. it's nice, but it doesn't give the same effect as full out journalling (with stickers, images, tape, etc... sigh.). i hope i journal more this holiday nonetheless.

i also hope to read without feeling so much pressure. i usually have no problem with reading whatever i want to read, as i like to think of myself as somebody who isnt easily influenced by other people's views (eg. if someone told me i have to read a certain book, i will consider it but i wont read it unless i want to) , but lately i've been thinking of all the books i want to read this holiday (for me i have autumn break in one week- and autumn break lasts for 2 weeks) and as u can imagine, it is very stressful bc ive somehow fallen into the mindset that i must read ALL of those books before next term or else.

fyi the books comprise of

- the complete collection of jane austen

- the complete collection of sherlock holmes

- the poppy war

- the iliad

- hamlet

- the metamorphosis

soo yeah... especially the first two points are stressing me out haha... im starting the poppy war now but im a little nervous bc ppl keep saying that its VERY gory??? and i usually dont care abt such things but lately my nerves and emotions have been such a wreck that i dont trust myself to read it in a calm manner

i'll try to break free of this toxic reader mindset tho! it would be nice if i could talk to people abt books, so it feels like im engaging with my hobby while not actually having to do the hobby, but nobody ik irl will want to talk abt books as i do

MAN i so badly want to rant abt booktok (ok actually i wont expand on this bc its a very sore point for me in the sense that i might get worked up over it and then feel shit afterwards for displaying sm emotion)

anywaysss next topic

ummm i get my maths result back on thursday and im so fucking scared bc i know i messed up bad for a few questions but im not sure if it was enough to drop me down to a b... idk i REALLY REALLY WANT AN A. like istg my whole self esteem for until the next exams roll around is goijg to be based off my maths result.. fuck im so emotionally immature its laughable

ummm also i have literature class tmr and i love lit class but we have to watch fucking "shes the man" and im sorry but i hate that movie so so much (ive never watched it before but we watched half of it last lesson and it was soo annoying). ughh why is my eng teacher making us watch this 😭😭

also my eng teacher is very blunt and therefore very interesting to talk to so ive been wanting to ask him abt books hes read lately but i CANT bc we have to watch thats tupid fucking movie and also he has to mark papers :( but also like hes the only intellectually stimulating person ik irl so what am i meant to do with all of my buzzing book thoughts ughh (rhetorical question. pls dont answer) :(

hmm what else is there to say

oh yeah last night i had a dream tjat i got a B+ for english and that was... it was like a nightmare im not even kidding. it was such a vivid dream too- everybody else got an A meanwhile i got a B+ (very close to an A) and i was just absolutely shocked and i desperately begged my teacher to give me some extra credit work so i can bump it up to an A-... yeah...

oh but also back to me wanting to have a better life- i think i'll take myself to the thrift more and go out with my friend (yes, singular. theres only one friend that i like hanging out with outside of school 💀) atleast once this holiday... thats what teen girls my age do, right??? haha...

also i want to watch ladybird and the perks of being a wallflower and rewatch little women and dead poets society !

i also might reread solitaire but aghh that makes me stressed out abt reading again... fuck. maybe i should just take a break from reading omfg

i cant wait to wake up early tomorrow and drink coffee though! :)

also i will make more spotify playlists (it makes me rlly happy to) and MAYBE even try cooking????????????? man idfk im desperate okay? feeling suicidal is not fun and i dont want to feel like that again this year. i cant afford thay bc im meant to be an academic weapon :( (lol who am i kidding? im more like an academic victim)

also maybe i will just text my friends more in general. it stresses me out and makes me feel icky but the other day, i had a nice and fun and lighthearted texting convo with one of my class friends and it made me realise that i should probably text people more ...

lol

anyways i think thats all? i think ive gotten everything off my chest for now. i liked doing this actually. maybe i'll do it more often idk 💀💀

hope u guys have a good day 🙏 i dont actually expect anyone to read this but if you did, i hope you have a good day TIMES TWO!

no refunds :}

[tetsuski]

why try?

train

pairing: gojo Satoru x fem!reader

friends to lovers

word count: 1.8k

warning : none

summary: first time traveling out of town with gojo

mlist

previous

a/n: hope u like this chapter!

what the fuck?

"L/N Y/N WAKE THE FUCK UP!!" you hear a familiar voice shouting and banging against your door it's still 6am on a saturday why would anyone come visit you this early? sitting up from your bed and still trying to process what's going on

"L/n-chan~, i can sense that you're already awake now~" once you finally recognized the voice you realize it's gojo satoru, why the fuck is he here? and then the realization hits

shit

you promised your friend you're gonna accompany him while he train.

for what exactly? you don't know. it's not like he needs it he's THE Gojo Satoru, goddamnit.

you fall back on your bed flipped yourself over and scream into your pillows not long after you leave your bed and start to get ready

today marked one year of you being in jujutsu high

it means its been a year of you leaving the world you've ever known behind

almost everything from the past now gone.

as soon as u open the door you're greeted by a high pitched voice from your classmate

"gooodddd morning, sunshineeee!!"

"y/n-chann~ are you not gonna greet me a good morning back? ouch you've wounded my heart" Gojo acting like he was offended with his hands clutching on his chest "good morning, Satoru" rolling your eyes.

"here, I got you your morning drink"

"thanks" looking at the can and back at him with your eyebrows furrowed

"why are you looking at me like that"

"like what?"

"like this" he imitate your face

"I just woke up five minutes ago, that's just what my face looks like"

he hums he puts his hand on your head moving his thumb between your eyebrows and starts rubbing it "There, all better" he smiles, removing his hands away.

you feel your heartbeat moves faster, your blood rushing up to your cheeks, and your ears turning red so you move your face away from him fighting back from screaming on top of your lungs. you dont know why he always know how to make you nervous.

"where are the others?" trying your best to sound like normal

"they died." Gojo blurted out. you squint your eyes at the lanky man shooting him a death stare and slapping his side "I'm joking! Suguru is still asleep and doesn't want to be bothered and Ieiri went on a run. but she said she'll catch up soon " he explained with his hands up in the air in defense "that's not something to joke about, Satoru"

as the two of you making your way towards the building exit.

"I don't understand why you need me. when I can't even use any of my so-called 'powers'" making a quotation mark with your hand to prove a point

"yeah, but your combat skills are good " he answer as the tall white haired opened the exit

"so no powers?" gojo asked as he took his place on the field.

"um duh it wouldn't be fair" you rolls eyes jokingly

"oh and sensei said we're meeting the new first years tomorrow" Getou announced.

it's lunchtime and you're now seated beside Gojo with Shoko and Getou at the opposite end of the table

"Maybe this year y/n will get to date one of them... " Gojo joked wrapping his arm around your shoulders

"shut the fuck up gojo sometimes i want to hold your neck so tightly until you fell unconscious" you snarled

"that's choking" Shoko giggles.

"exactly"

" i didn't know you were kinky— is this what single-ness does to you? becoming viole-" his voice is cut off because you shoves a cold desert into his open mouth coughing loudly trying not to choke.

"shut the fuck up asswipe" you laugh watching him chewing the sweets you just shoved. "that's rude" he pouted "thanks for the mochi though " he smiled noticing the way you look at him.

you didn't realize you were staring at him until someone interrupted your train of thoughts.

"i thought you and Satoru were dating to be honest " Shoko quipped

feeling heat creeping up to your face "pppfftt...wha— no. what do you mean? what makes you say that? hahaha... we don't see each other like tha—" trying to wave it off but another voice interrupted you

"wow this is good" gojo said while taking another one of your mochi. "stop! go buy some yourself" swatting his hands away from the box.

"nakamura-san always make the best mochi. hmm " you beamed putting one into your mouth.

"have any of you seen utahime?" Shoko asked lighting up the cigarette in her mouth.

holding your hand in the air as a way of saying 'hold on let me chew' "Yaga sensei called her. Pretty sure she'll be going on a mission—"As you were answering her question a sudden voice came from behind you

"I'm right here"

"holy shit— don't do that! I almost have a heart attack!"

"eheheh sorry" Utahime apologize rubbing the back of her neck "Yaga-sensei said he need you and Gojo to see him now" she informed.

"why?" you and Gojo asked at the same time

"I dont know? can I have one of those?" asking for one piece of your green balls.

"yeah sure. here" Gojo answered for you handing her the box.

"what the fuck?!?!I'm not finished yet!" he grabs you by the elbow pulling you away from your seat

"let's go y/n-chan~" walking away from the group.

the group watches you and Gojo walk away and when you finally out of their sight Getou began "I saw Satoru kissing a girl a week ago"

"oh my god, who?" Shoko lean her elbow on the table putting her weight onto her arms

"I don't know, didn't asked him"

"i honestly thought he finally gonna make a move on her. what a dumbass" Shoko groaned putting her cheek on the table in front of her

"a move on who?" Utahime

"are you serious right now?" Getou and Shoko raised their eyebrows at the long-haired girl

"y/n?"

"of course its y/n! who else would it be?" Getou exclaimed

"bleh. sorry. but even if he did I doubt y/n want date him" she pointed out

"why is that?" they egged on

"because he's gojo satoru? he's loud?"

"so is she" Getou point out

"he's annoying and a big meanie?"

"can't argue with that" Shoko nods

"did you just say 'big meanie'" Getou laughs "How old are you?" continuing to tease her

"I'm literally older than you have home respect" Utahime slaps her hand on the table pointing at the boy before her.

after your meeting with Yaga-sensei, he told you and Gojo to go to a small town far away to retrieve a scroll that's apparently being held captive by a curse and that leads you to where you are right now sitting in front of the white-haired creature on a train for the next 6 hours

"we should've just used an airplane there. it's not too late, you know? it can still take us there faster than this stupid train if we just stop at the next station" Gojo suggested

" no " you replied.

"why not?" leaning closer to you

"It's expensive" you answered

"really? it can't be that bad " pulling away from you crossing his arms on his chest resting his back on his chair with a raised eyebrow.

"yeah, sure" rolling your eyes.

" 'sure' as in we can stop at the nex—"

"i said no. besides it's my first time on a train " poking your straw to a small box full of caffeine " I want the full experience" holding your other hand to a fist dramatically "you can leave me here though, I don't really mind I'll catch you up there. you can book us an inn or something" holding your own drink with both hands as you take your first sip

he snorts "whatever" ignoring your last sentence he rest his arms on top of his table "I'm gonna take a nap " resting his head on the makeshift cushion. "you should rest too though don't want you half asleep fighting curses"

you hummed looking out to the window and let your mind occupied you for the night.

two hours has passed you heard soft snores looking away from the window to see your classmate sleeping

huh

his sunglasses has fallen down from his face eyebrows furrowed together, eyes are closed his beautiful white eyelashes resting on his reddened cheeks.

he looks so... adorable.

without second thoughts you subconsciously leaning closer to him reaching out your hand to caresses his hair but to your luck something slowed your hand

fuck

you can't pull away your hands

"of course he put got his infinity on, y/n why are you so stupid!" you whispered to yourself.

you saw him stirred

shit.

his body start shifting

please dont wake up please don't—

he opened his eyes registering what had touched him his eyes widened realizing somebody is centimeters away from his face turning off his barrier, he moves his head away from her

in a blink of an eye your forehead suddenly clashed with his letting out a loud yelp from your mouth.

" ouch" you whined rubbing your forehead.

realizing he just hit his own classmate on the head.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to— I thought you were" putting his hands on your face cupping your face "Are you hurt? I sense something about to touch me, I didn't mean to hit you at least give a guy a warning before touching him why don't ya?" thumb rubbing your forehead softly

you stared at him in awe taking in every little detail on his face after what felt like forever you realize how close you both are

"well i saw that your glasses fell off and i was about to be a good friend and take your glasses to put it somewhere safer" lies.

"oh. sorry" he chuckled to himself rubbing the back of his neck.

an awkward silence filled the air.

"are you cold?" you asked him

"yeah" no he's not.

"do you want to...?" gesturing to the blanket you brought.

"if you want" he shrugged.

standing up from your seat making your way to his seat sitting beside him "Here" you said as you covered both his and your lap with the fabric "Thank you" he whispered loud enough for you to hear.

"sorry for waking you up" you mumbled out "it's okay" he reassured "are you tired?" he asked looking at you in the eyes.

"well yeah... it's 3 am but I can't sleep" you replied looking down at your lap and avoiding his gaze "Just rest your eyes a bit and lean on me" moving your head on his shoulder. following his direction you close your eyes feeling warmth and comfort within him

and with that, you're gone sleeping peacefully with the Gojo Satoru pulling you into his arms

despite how uncomfortable sleeping while sitting was somehow it was the best sleep you've ever gotten in a while.

[royalwriteroftheuniverse]

A Happy New Year Indeed with Chris Evans

18+ just incase a lot of sensual kissing and fluff but thats it. It's very sweet.

Comments welcome and appreciated as are re blogs. No reports reprints or translations.

Chris twirls me around and pulls me in his arms 

"I am so happy I met you, That you're here. That you're with me."

"I'm just happy that you chose me. I don't care if I'm he- well I do care I mean I'd rather be here then-" I looked into his eyes and I just get get lost-  we're about 4.5  inches different  in height so I can stare at his blue eyes anytime easily.

"Sweetheart"

"Yeah,"  I say not breaking eye contact

His hand reaches  up to my face and his thumb caresses my cheek. I feel some texture on my skin from his hand-

"What is it?"

"Nothing "

"You're staring" 

"Because I have something to stare at."

It's true his eyes were insane blue 

"You're sure this is ok?" I ask.

 He grasped my hand that I had on his chest.

"Everything is perfect there is no there place I'd rather be cara mia "

" Don't suck up to me."I love it when he talks Italian. I don't know why I think it's sexy on him…. Or from him.  

"I mean it anytime you want to go-" 

"Hey, look at me." 

I look at him. 

"I want this, I want you and me.  My friends can I  can't always see them but I can see them more than I can see you. More than we can see  each other. And I just want to hold you so bad without having to care who sees us.  I want to be right here. I want you in my arms. I want you to be with me. I want you get it through that thick skull of yours  in falling in love with you and I want you in my arms as much as I can; ok. And this is how It can be. We just gotta take things in stride love.   I love you nothing can beat this I want you here. I want to be with you. Just stay here in my arms ill show you,"  he smirks

"Nothing  is better for you than me hmm.."

He starts kissing my neck

"nothing I want more than you...." 

"Ok ok I get it you wanted me in your arms and you got it mister." I blush

"Good cause I'm used to getting what I want."

"What a spoiled little movie star." 

"Oh you have no idea." 

"I'm just saying if you want to go to the party you can dont worry about me."

"Sweeth-"

"I can go if you want or just stay behind I mean you-"

"Honey"

"I just know you-"

He pressed his lips to mine, effectively silencing me.

"Will you listen? I want some time alone with you they get it. I rarely get anytime with just you me and Dodger. I like it. Waking up and feeling you in my arms. God its the best feeling knowing the girl of my dreams is right where I want her. I mean come on. I just like this morning I was up early."

"Such a romantic."

"So I woke up and I was you were just resting your head on my chest with you hand on it and you took my breath away.  I just smiled thinking I love you hoping i'll go to bed like this today and waking up like that tomorrow. 

I thought God I'd love waking up to having the girl I love look at me like this."

"Everything is want. Everything I want. " he kissed me in my neck 

I giggled shrunging my shoulder up and I could feel the side of lips curl up. But he never move his head across my neck 

"That I think we should wake up like this everyday"

Kiss.

"Ya know how much I wanted you in that moment?"

Kiss.

"And how much I want you now"

Kiss.

"How beautiful you look." 

Kiss.

"How i just want you to be mine forever."

Kiss.

"And how happy i'd be if that was my life every day."

Kiss.

"How much I cherish you"

Kiss.

"How I'd make sure you'd never want for anything"

Kiss.

Then from my neck he moved move up with his nose but giving me small kissed until he reached my head  and could feel his hot breath on my ear

"And God how much I want you right now."

I was having trouble steadying my breath as one of his hands under my sweater just at the small of my back  his nose brushes up against mine and nuzzle it then finally moved in for a kiss. It was sweet but passionate and I could tell he was holding back a bit. Not wanting to rush me but when we broke I nodded to him. 

"You're sure?"

I nodded 

Point of view change 

He gave you opened mouthed kisses on you lips and had trailed down to you shoulders . He had giggled and as he sweetly kept saying "shhhh "

As Chris went to get on his knees he lowered yoj with him gently .

"I got you," he said so softly. Brushing hair away from your face as he lowered you to the floor completely, hovering over yiu body.  Seeing his smile you can't help but smile too. His hand went to your face as the other hand  one interlaced your fingers  interlaced together 

He gave you a kiss in the center of your neck so he can then tease you with his nose bringing it up to you Chris dragged his nose a bit reaching the top of your neck dragging you chin up with him as his nose moved up.  Your breath quickened a bit. And he noticed

"Hey, I got you relax Baby."

"I"

Kiss.

"Would never,"

Kiss.

"Hurt you."

Kiss

"Trust me" he nipped on your jaw and an  involuntary moan came out of your mouth Chris smirked at what he found. He started kissing you in your jaw

"Chris"

"Mmm??"

"Stop teasing"

"Yes my love," he put his mouth on yours. This time he moaned into the kiss making you somehow more relaxed and trusting and then the two of you made out like teenagers for practically and hour, only breaking when you needed hair. Neither one pg you exactly knew why you broke the kissing completely but you both were panting this then took a few moments before he rolled over on his back  catching his breath

You leaned on your side  putting your hand in his chest 

"Well that was boring"

He let our a chuckle as his arm wrapping around your waist bringing you to him. You kissed his jaw

"Don't start that again I need to breathe. Franky so did you." Yiu were panting a bit more, nit used to the Chris Evans kissing treatment.  Lying in front of the fire you two could just lay there in silence and it would be fine. Scratch that, it was fine. 

Neither of you are sure you'd been there when you spoke up

"I'm getting hungry"

"Me too" 

"Not like-"

"I know, I know I'm teasing. "

This is fun  though 

"Yea you think?" He chuckled 

He wrapped both arms around you pulling you into him placing letting kisses where he found any skin 

The heat of the fire keeping you both warm despite  the large ceiling to floor windows

There wasn't any thing for either of you  to  say. But  it didn't matter everything felt perfect regardless. 

A bit later, once you both could breathe normally you two laid down in bed snuggled together. Dodger who was perfected at the edge of the bed and how moved in front of the fire making you laugh 

"I uh think we took his spot."

You both snuggled together. 

And you both had fallen asleep before you knew it. But you had woken up at around 3 am.   

You blinked a few times and then looked up at him;  so beautiful, so handsome his eyelashes, the small curls on his lips and how they were still slightly swollen from making out before and then you remembered it's officially the New Year and you're in love for the first time in your life. Truly in love. Even though it excited you your heart rate couldn't be more calmer. With him. 

You closed your eyes again, with a smile on your face and then next time you opened them seeing Chris face smiling at you.

"Happy new year love"

A Happy new year indeed…..

Tag list

@nana1000night @patzammit @hawkeyes-queen @coltrainbat @sapphire-rogers @sparklybarbarianninja

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

hai ariiiiii :3 guess whos SICK . me . im sick

ANYWAY thinking abt sugubooboo taking care of u while sick ,,,,,,,,

u kno when u get that feeling ur gonna b sick in the morning the night b4 it all hits ? i think sugu picks up on that after u blow ur nose one 2 many times n he asks if ur okay

ur not. obviously . so he heats up some nice peppermint tea, and something my mom does when im sick is take some honey, mix it w ginger powder + some other stuff thats good 4 ur throat and make me eat a spoonful of it [its gross as HELLLL i hate it but i feel a lil better afterwards] then tucks u in2 bed [later after uve fallen asleep he calls out of work for tomorrow, he REFUSES to leave u alone + sick]

the next morning ur properly Sick and suguru wakes u up w breakfast in bed, all warm foods infused with clove, mint, ginger, and sets a few packs of tissues next 2 the bed

after uve eaten he lays in bed w u 4 a bit, kissing your head and fiddling w ur hands. eventually u ask abt work, he said he called out 4 both u n him.

he trusts u 2 take a shower on ur own, but when u get out hes holding a towel and wraps u in it immediately then just hovers around u as u do ur morning routine, making sure youre okay n not abt 2 like . pass out or smthn

once ur dressed and fully cocooned in the bed once again, suguru pours out some cold medicine 4 u and hands u water once that NASTY liquid slides down ur throat. he gives u a lil candy as a palate cleanser tho, hes not mean

i think after that u just fall in and out of sleep 4 teh rest of the day until u get hungry again or need another dose of medicine. sometimes u wake up 2 suguru humming and playing w ur hair while he reads a book, sometimes he joins u and takes a nap w u. the only time u wake up alone is when its lunch or dinner n hes in the kitchen making smthn spicy 2 open ur sinuses

everytime u take a dose of medicine, he kisses you on the lips then pushes a glass of water in one hand n some candy in the other. hed probably mumble 'good job' or smthn like that in2 the top of ur head as he cuddles u while ur trying 2 get the taste out of ur mouth

he does NOT care if u sneeze n get snot all over him, puke on him if u have a stomach bug, cough in his face, or r generally disheveled. u could never disgust him.

if its sunny out, hell offer 2 take u outside just 4 a lil bit. if u dont think u can walk hes gonna pick u up. no complaining u NEED that sun, hell argue while sliding the patio door open

youll sit out 4 a bit, soaking up the sunshine then when u want 2 go back 2 bed hell carry u back and gently tuck u in2 bed

if ur 2 weak 2 even blow ur nose, hes holding the tissue 2 ur nose n waiting 4 u 2 blow. the chapstick might b all the way across the room n ur savior ends up being suguru and his long legs. the temp in the house is 2 hot? hes turning the a/c down and all the fans r coming 2 ur room bcuz he knows how slow the heating n cooling takes 2 change.

also everytime he walks in2 the room, hes asking how r u? do u need anything? does anything hurt too much? and he probably has smthn 4 u 2 do so ur not on ur phone all day [guess . guess who was on their phone all day . ME]

at the very end of the day, hes got u curled up in his lap on the bed, INCREDIBLY comfortable, and theres some movie on the tv in the bedroom. like juno or some other feel good indie movie. sugurus just kissing u everywhere on ur face and clutching u tight 2 him because u got super clingy after he had 2 run out 4 last minute groceries. since its past dinner time, he gives u lil candied ginger pieces 2 help w ur throat n other snacks 2 go w the movie.

eventually u fall asleep in his arms in the middle of the movie, smothered in warmth on all sides.

OKAY . WOW . moving on, HOW WAS UR DAY ARI ??? tell me abt that book ur reading rn !! u seem very enthusiastic abt it, id luv 2 know y ^_^ ! [personally my day was . ouchie . and ive got a book abt decolonialism checked out from the library rn :3]

ASHLEY !!!!!!!!! i’m answering this kinda late i hope your cold is gone by now 😔😔😔

BUT . GODDDDDDDDDD ARE YOU OUT TO KILL ME 😭😭😭😭😭😭 BE HONEST . how did you know sugu sickfics are my greatest weakness………… (i actually have . a whole fic just like this that i wrote a year ago or so 😭😭 YOU MADE ME WANNA GO BACK N READ IT HHHH this is very bad for my weak suguloving heart….) I’M JUST. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAYY. you keep serving me meals on a silver platter n i’m just?!?!! eating gratefully …. thank you……

NO BC YOU’RE SOOOOO RIGHT YOU’RE SO OBJECTIVELY CORRECT :((((((( HE’S. THE SWEETEST. the best bf around !!!!!! he’s so good at caring for you when you’re sick…. sniffle……. AND OFCCCC HE’D PICK UP ON IT INSTANTLY TOO. his sixth sense is so crazy accurate when it comes to his baby </33333 and wahhh him making you tea and tucking you in and calling in sick for you 🥺🥺🥺 he just wants you to feel better……

WAKING YOU UP . W BREAKFAST IN BED. WHAT IF I CRYYYYY THIS CONCEPT IS SO DEAR TO MY HEART ASHLEY ….. and him just. hovering around you. i feel like he would stand outside the bathroom while you shower just in case you were to fall over or smth…….. he’s so caring :(((( and wrapping you up in a towel…… cocooning you into bed. sniffle. i need him to baby me sooooo bad it’s not a want it’s a need …… he rlly would stay by your side the Whole time………… cooks for you and tends to you and makes sure you’re okay . he’s so good. i feel like he kind of really loves it too….. he doesn’t love that you’re sick BUT . he loves being allowed to take care of you :’3 loves making you feel better.

ALSOOO him kissing you and praising you whenever you take your medicine T_T oughhhhhhhh one kiss on the forehead + ”good girl/boy” from him and i would be OUT like a light. collapsed. fainted. he would be so good at coaxing you into taking it ……… ANDDDDD the part abt you never disgusting him. SO true. you could never ever disgust him he just wants you to be okay…….. forcing you out into the sunlight………… asking if you need anything……………. making sure you aren’t bored…………………. ohhhhh he’s 2 perfect we need to put him down.

sugurus just kissing u everywhere on ur face and clutching u tight 2 him because u got super clingy after he had 2 run out 4 last minute groceries.

AND THEN . YOU TOP IT OFF WITH THIS. ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️ THIS MADE ME MELT….. i’m so…………. i have so many thoughts abt this. sugu would LOVE a clingy s/o but i keep specifically thinking of him w an s/o who’s shy w physical affection.,,,, and how he’d react when they get sick and suddenly get all cuddly . 🥺 he would love it so much. kisses you all over and holds you soooo tight and he’s just!!!!! so enamored!!!!!!!!! you’re like a lil koala. he loves you. sob.

WAHHHHH THANK YOU FOR THE ABSOLUTE MEAL MY BELOVED i’m not exaggerating btw this is gonna feed my sugu thoughts for weeks to come…… AND MY DAY WAS GOOD!!!! i’m sorry to hear your day was ouchie </3 i hope it’s all better now!!! pls make sure to rest and eat properly <33 it’s what sugu would want for you!!!!!

AND . THE BOOK. YES. it’s called giovanni’s room by james baldwin and it’s sooooo <33333 yeah. it’s so good. i LOVE baldwin’s prose so much??????? and the story is just . AUGH. i’m still not finished but i’m so obsessed. it’s basically abt a closeted guy in like … the 1800s-1900s? who goes on vacation in paris while his girlfriend is in spain. and he meets this rlly mysterious charming italan barman called giovanni……….. the book is abt their relationship + their own experiences w homosexuality + their tragic ending (it’s revealed at the very beginning of the book that giovanni will meet his end by the guillotine)…..

so it’s just . yeah. it’s such a gorgeous book :’3 and just so . idk. raw? visceral?? i love giovanni a lot. and more than anything i loves james baldwin <333 i’m planning to buy another of his books too!!!! it’s called tell me how long the train’s been gone :3 I RLLY RECOMMEND BOTH OF THEM!!! i hope the book you just got ends up being good too <33

[andromedasummer]

hobby update:

crochet is on pause for a bit. have frogged the hat i was making for a friend and will only be able to start again when she returns from korea and japan. the top im making is at the point where the straps and buttons are all thats left but its kind of annoying so im taking a break from it

i still need to draw more like i said i would. might slip my notebook and a pencil into my work bag tomorrow along with the book on anatomy i picked up at a thrift store back in feb. just do a bit of reading.

speaking of reading i have like 2 days to finish the second and third lockwood and co audiobooks before i have to return them so expect more liveblogs tomorrow

knitting has hit a blockade of my gauge for these baby sweaters is too big and i will have to buy new needles to continue and i dont get paid for a bit. i also need the same size of new needles for the petite knit sophie scarf cos its also in 4ply. so im moving straight to garter stitching my jumbo wool spring cowl for myself. will be nice to mess around with an easy project, actually! after that if i still cant work on the first two i'll finish the embroidery on the mini cowl for kids i made. i also have all those garter stitch squares to sew together into a vest so i can do the rib for the sleeves and neck. lotta knitting to do.

i went for a walk for the first time in months as well!!!! it was so nice going out and walking up and then down the hills in the sun. the wind was pretty harsh and cold and hurt my ears and i dont want to push myself too hard so i only went out for 20/25 mins. it was so nice to be outside. im also hoping to do a bit of of low impact exercise after dinner if i feel up to it. starting small with 10-20 minute ones, probably in the morning after i wake up. im going to have to slowly build up my endurance again after all this illness. ive found taking painkillers 20 mins beforehand and having a warm drink before starting has made the pain near nonexistent which means my form and stamina is better.

[sharkface]

does it mean something if im a cis girl but i would rather be a man sometimes. like im ok with being a girl it doesnt make me sad, but if i had been born a man id have been ok staying one. i dont think im trans but if i woke up as a man tomorrow i wouldnt be unhappy

Well it definitely doesn't mean nothing. I would say this is not an extremely cisgender feeling, even cis people that consider this idea aren't generally going to be so haunted by it that they need to reach out and have it affirmed to them that they can stay cis. Transitioning is an option for you and if you'd rather be a man even if only partially or temporarily you honestly can just wake up a man tomorrow. You obviously don't have to but if you think it's the better deal I think you've already made up your mind and you're just nervous to commit to it. Even if you think you won't be unhappy not transitioning there's no reason not to if you think you'd be happier that way