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#like i want to be part of boards and shit
jockwrites · 1 day
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LUST - p.b
hi this is chapter two lol
warnings: angst, asshole paige
part: 2
a/n: this is pretty short lol. also the songs i put are basically what the chapters are based off of! sorry if that wasn’t clear, it’s basically some “playlist” thing i see other writers do!! 🙂‍↕️ also im basically putting you guys on..
its been 6 days since you’ve broken up with your boyfriend.
you and paige have been hanging out every day since, and you can say these have been the best days since you two have met.
right now, she’s at practice. that means you’re all by yourself.
you decide you wanna go down to the lobby, maybe grab a few snacks.
you check your phone before you leave, no calls or texts. that’s boring, and it sucks.
anyway
you put on your slippers and head out. as you’re walking you see paige’s teammate, ayanna.
“hey, ayanna. don’t you guys have practice?” you ask.
“huh? practice is tommorow” she says, laughing.
but you found nothing about that sentence funny. at all.
“well.. paige told me you guys have practice today?” you say confused.
“well blondie is lying. why she tell you that?”
“i don’t know. she said she had to leave for practice around like 1 earlier and i haven’t heard from her since.” you say, annoyed.
“whattt? girl its 9pm. no practice lasts that long regardless.. how vulnerable are you?” she says, giggling.
“ok shut up. can u text her? ask where she is? pleaseee?” you ask with puppy dog eyes.
“alright alright. gimme a minute,” she pulls out her phone, going to text paige.
as she texts her, you see her expression change. she’s looking weird.
“what is it? where is she?” you say, worried.
“she’s- she’s at her cousins.” she says nervously.
“are you lying?”
“no? i’m not. but i gotta go, ill see you around.” she speaks, walking away hurriedly.
you look around, wondering if you’re crazy.
you pull your phone out of your pocket, going to text paige.
hey, where r u?
you sit and wait. might as well get your rice krispy treat you’ve been wanting.
you walk over to the vending machine, putting in the dollar to buy your treat.
*ding*
*ding*
*ding*
“holy shit what the fuck dude” you whisper to yourself as you get 3 messages back to back from your friend.
you open the messages, and your heart instantly drops.
“what. the. fuck.” you say in your mind.
what the fuck? don’t you guys like .. idk talk?
that’s exactly what your friends message reads.
it’s three pictures of paige walking with some girl. and the third picture..
they’re holding hands.
all of a sudden, an incoming call pops up on your screen from your friend.
“holy shit girl isn’t that your little girlfriend?” says your friend over the phone.
“dude. where are you? how’d you get those?”
“i’m at chick fil a right now, and then i seen THEEE paige bueckers like omg woah then i see her with some girl that wasn’t you and that’s definitely like a omggggg woahhh reaction and so i-” she rambled.
“shut up for a second jesus. holding hands is like actually crazy. alright i gotta go.”
“alright bye babe but talk to her or something and fill me in on the tea pleaseee ok bye love you!!!”
you hang up. you don’t know how to feel right now.
you’re so overstimulated.
you walk back to your room, tears ready to fall from your eyes.
you check the message you sent earlier, and you realize you’ve been on read for ten minutes.
you put down your phone & sit back against your head board. you’re so confused, so upset, so angry.
you feel so stupid.
you start to cry, looking back on everything you’ve done for her. everything you’ve done with her.
she turned you gay, she made you breakup with your boyfriend, and now she’s cheating.
not necessarily cheating, since you guys aren’t technically together.
but that doesn’t matter, you’re off limits to other people and she’s supposed to be.
you don’t hold hands with your cousin like that.
after about 20 minutes of crying, you hear your door open. and speak of the devil, it’s paige.
she walks in, noticing you crying and immediately comes over to you.
“woah woah baby, what’s wrong? are you okay?” she says, confused.
“who is the girl.”
“what? who?”
“the girl! who is she paige?” you yell.
“i don’t know who youre talking about.”
“you know exactly what and who the fuck i’m talking about dude?!” you jeered.
“chill the fuck out,” she tempted, “and if you want me to be honest, she’s just a friend of mine.”
“nobody holds hands like that with their friends. you’re a liar.”
“no way you’re calling me a liar now. i said she was my friend and that’s what the fuck i said. drop it.”
“drop it? you literally said im off limits to other people, so how does that change for you?”
“it doesn’t. i’m just saying, she’s just a friend.”
“whatever paige. i don’t even know how you could do this to me after everything we’ve done for and to each other.” you whine.
“don’t act like a baby now. i’m not the bad person here, you are.” she huffs.
“how the fuck could you even say that?”
“well i’m not the person who left their boyfriend for a girl! i don’t know what you’d expect from me.” she snaps.
“what the fuck? you made me leave him paige! you asked, you convinced, you nagged. don’t flip this shit on me!” you snap back.
“well maybe i wanted to have a little fun. that’s all it fucking was.” she says, an angry look in her eyes.
“take a look around paige, nothing about this is fun to me. read the room. think about how i would’ve felt.”
“how the hell did you even find out?”
“doesn’t matter. don’t flip the subject.” you sass.
“whatever. i don’t know why you thought we were more than a hookup anyway. you’re obsessed and crazy.”
your heart drops. you immediately turn away from her, tears about to form in your eyes.
“get the fuck out.” you snarked.
“alright. i’ll do that then.”
“bye. don’t come back.”
and just like that, you hear the door close. she actually left.
tears immediately start flowing. you feel so hurt, neglected, ridiculed.
you cannot believe the words that came out of her mouth, after everything.
you sniffle and cry, thinking back on the memories you two had.
it would be insane to say it wasn’t more than a hookup. but you guess it was.
as you slowly cry yourself to sleep, you realize this was a mistake.
a/n: hi so this is horrible but pls stay tuned for next chapter, maybe smut maybe not 👅 also someone teach me how to make a masterlist pls??!!!
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gabessquishytum · 14 hours
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feel free to ignore this if its not your jam (tw past noncon)
Human au Dream and Hob are roommates, and Hob is always hooking up with people and one night Dream admits that he doesn’t get it because he’s had sex but he’s never liked it. Hob asks if he’s asexual (cause thered be nothing wrong with that!) but Dream doesn’t think he is, he had felt attraction just the actual sex was bad. So Hob asks about his past experiences and as Dream describes it Hob realizes….. NONE of his encounters sound consensual (Dream describes one time that sounds an awful lot to Hob like he was roofied, another time he agreed at the beginning but tried to safeword and his partner ignored him, etc) but Dream doesn’t seem to realize it cause it ws never “stranger in a dark alley” type noncon 
So Hob is trying to find a gentle way to be like “hey I think you haven’t enjoyed sex because what you’ve experienced wasn’t sex anymore than bashing someone over the head with a shovel is gardening”. Then theres lots of healing and comfort, Dream and Hob entering a relationship, and Dream eventually feeling safe and comfortable enough to experience what sex is SUPPOSED to be like with Hob <3
This is sad and sweet and honestly feels very canon Dream adjacent,,, like he really has NO idea that he's put up with some very abusive shit and he's genuinely confused about why Hob is mad about it.
And Hob is mad about it, although he's trying not to show it. Maybe because it reminds Hob of the fact that he hasn't always been a good person. He's trying to be better every day but in the past he's done shitty things, not "stranger in a dark alley" type things but... taking people home when they were blackout drunk kind of things. It's really difficult to try and confront that part of himself. It makes him think that maybe, Dream deserves better than him.
But it's also a chance to do something right. Hob wants to be with Dream, even if that means never having sex with him. He's totally on board with whatever Dream wants from the relationship and he's determined not to fuck it up. So: he's teaching Dream about what a safe, good relationship looks like. But he's also teaching himself. Checking in with himself before he does something stupid or reactionary. Checking in with Dream at every stop along the way.
And when they do have sex the first time, and Dream smiles at Hob as they lay together in the afterglow, Hob promises right there and then that he will always make Dream smile. He will never do anything to hurt him. However much he has to learn, he'll put in the work every day. To be the man that Dream deserves.
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After almost five years I decided to rewatch Voltron.
1. Because it’s getting booted off of Netflix
2. I wanted to do more of critical analysis of it now that it’s been so long since I watched it . Does it hold up? Do I view the characters the same as I used to? Trying to separate that fanon from canon.
3.I also wanted to see how plausible was Klance and was I being delulu all those years ago? Like I know of the art done by story board artist and stuff but just by the show itself, do them being together romantically make sense?
This is my season 1 analysis because doing it by season makes the most sense.
So season 1 was still pretty solid. The pacing was very quick and it was hard to digest what was going on cause it just was rapid shot of information. I think the biggest offender of this was the first episode which just everything was moving so quick. I feel that could have been a longer episode and it would have helped the flow of the first season a lot. Like they are on Earth for like 15 mins, and within that 15 minutes we are introduced to most of the main cast, already introduced to the first piece of Voltron, then boom space. Bring back 24 episode seasons especially if most episodes are 20 mins.
The main cast quickly got over being in space and you know having to pilot a huge mech pretty quickly which like if that was me I would be freaking out for awhile. Like it was maybe a minute and then everything was chill. Again everything was just quick pacing wise.
I still really like the fight scenes both with the mech and on foot. The animation pops off and it’s a fun watch. The humor for the most part was fine, like I didn’t think it was outstanding but I’m also not in the target demographic anymore. Like the simple joke about the sounds of a blaster was funny and it made me laugh. But there is jokes where I’m just like oh….. but they quickly move on from it so it doesn’t bother me as much. For Lance being the supposed comedic character I thought Hunk was funnier because Lance is not funny he’s mean.
With that Lance is just plain mean to Keith, when Keith has done jack shit to him. Keith will only retaliate after Lance says something to him. There was about one time Keith started it but who can blame him when Lance is constantly being a bitch. Which meanness comes with insecurity and it’s obvious he struggles with insecurity even if they haven’t really touched on that yet. Lance also almost dies multiple times this season which i don’t have much to comment on just that he almost gets sucked out of an air lock and Keith has to save him.
The Main Cast:
Shiro: His character arc hasn’t happened yet but the crumbs have been laid. I like him alot. I think how quickly he becomes dedicated to Voltron is believable because of how much he suffered in the Galran prison. Like he doesn’t want what happened to him to happen to anyone else. He’s the most serious out of the bunch but it makes sense since he’s seen what the Galra can do.
Pidge: I don’t much to say about her. When I was I younger I didn’t have much to say about her and I don’t have much to say about her now. Doesn’t mean she’s bad, I don’t really have much a a connection with her. I do really like the story line about finding her family though and I’m excited to rewatch that payoff.
Hunk: Like with Pidge I didn’t have a feeling either way for Hunk when I was younger but where that differs is that I appreciate him alot more now. That mini arc he goes through where he discovers how bad the Galra truly are, was pretty good. Him being the most scared to take risks then being the one urging the rest of the team to save the planet was a change of character but the was obviously the point. Also his relationship with Shay is super cute.
Allura: I adore her. She is serious like Shiro but again she had her whole race wiped out by the Galra, she knows that what they are doing is important. Yeah so she is bit tough on the paladins but she does it with the hopes they’ll be ready to save the universe. She is just a girl and I love that for her. The scene where she has to let go of her father for the final time is really sad because she is not just losing her dad but what seems like the last remnants of her home planet. I also just love her design, the pink is such a pretty color and suits her so well.
Coran: He’s funny, he’s silly. Still adore him, nothing can change that.
Keith: I adore this man. But season one Keith really doesn’t have much going on. Like he’s reckless and stubborn but that’s kinda all we know about him. His name is Keith, he was living in a shack, he’s good a flying and fighting, and he has a close relationship with Shiro but even that is shown for like a second in the first episode. I do know their dynamic is explored more later or which I hope so it’s been so long I don’t remember. I remember him being the more mean one but he’s not, he’s a guy and I love him for that. I also remember him being the super serious one but in reality he’s silly and goofy when he wants to be. He only gets serious when it’s mission time as he should be. I am excited to watch his full character arc but I can’t remember my opinions on it but I remember other people not liking it, so hopefully I do.
Lance: Lance is one of my most favorite characters ever. There comes a time in every man’s life where they must critique the things they love and now it’s mine. There isn’t much going on with him. He is there to be the funny guy which doesn’t work cause I don’t find him very funny. When his thing is to be funny it comes off as being mean makes it very hard to like him. I grimaced a couple times for what came out of that man’s mouth. I know he has a character arc but omg it’s so hard to like him at all season 1 for a character that’s supposed to be likable. That doesn’t mean there wasn’t moments where I saw the man I used to know but season 1 Lance very unbearable for the most part. I think I gasped audibly when he was like I miss Varadero Beach, cause I didn’t remember if the show itself said he was Cuba, I just assumed it was someone who worked on the show did. So I was like oh I’m dumb, it’s literally in the show.
Klance: For two characters that don’t have much going on this season, their dynamic is so odd. Like half their screen time is bickering, that Lance starts. They’re not rivals because Keith doesn’t view Lance as a rival, so it’s one sided rivalry. Then you think oh they just hate each other, but again Keith doesn’t hate Lance, it’s just Lance being a hater. But with that I can still see why people started to ship them. There were moments I was like wait…like when Lance asks Keith to save him after he gets chained to a tree. Keith response is a bit flirty to me and I was oh..wow. I see why people shipped them but I don’t see how they were thought as endgame, from just watching season 1.
I’m looking forward to season 2 but nervous for the rest of the series because I know the farther you get into the show the worst it gets. I don’t want to watch s7 and s8, there is no need to relive that. We will see when I get there though.
Also the fact it’s getting taken off Netflix is crazy. Like where is it going? Like I know it’s because of the contract with Netflix but I also theorize it might have something to do with the life action. If anyone wants to know where to watch after it does I can link it, cause trust I wanted to make sure I had a way to watch before it was gone for good.
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themeraldee · 15 hours
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Ok but what about homelander who gets bored one day and decides to go searching through adult vids on the internet, scrolling past videos upon videos centered around him or the seven (HOMELANDER AND MAEVE CUAGHT FUCKING IN THE AIR?!?!? NOT CLICKBAIT) but nothing catches his eye. That is until he comes across you. Ur not doing any crazy shit just wearing pair of his brand of panties and nothing else. But it’s the way you look up at the camera all innocent like your not fitting a monstrous dildo down ur throat that makes him click on ur channel
And then he becomes obsessed with you, ur number one fan 🤧🤧🤧
Oh mate the 'HOMELANDER AND MAEVE CUAGHT FUCKING IN THE AIR?!?!? NOT CLICKBAIT' bit made me think of all the weird candid moments and stories people would be sharing on reddit/tumblr/twitter and I low-key want more of that in the show 😂 where are the conspiracy theory boards!!! where are the creep shots!!! Anyway that was off topic. Sorry about that 😂
Oooh hoho hoo how the tables turn. Who's the fan now?
It would take a little while for him to slowly descend into madness. I see this as a desperate attempt for him to soothe his ego. So like he comes back from a meeting where he got talked back to or he got scolded by his corpo parents so he's thinking about how there are millions of people who love him, revere him. He should look at that, not the people in his life that make him frustrated.
He's trying to jerk off, make himself feel good but he's too much in his head, his own voice coming back to him and scolding him too for caring so much about their opinions all while Edgar or Madelyn's voices keep coming back to him.
So instead he seeks out fans that could get his mind off the repetitive and distracting thoughts. Might as well indulge in how much people love him. Fuck Edgar. Fuck Madelyn. He's a superhero for fucks sakes, what do they have on him??
He skips all the stupid ones where people dress up as him and Maeve. He doesn't need to watch someone try to be him. He wants someone to worship him.
So there you are with your soaked little Homelander panties sucking on the silicone of the Homelander's Star Spangled Banger looking up at the camera with those doe eyes as if you were not pretending to be sucking his cock.
That image more than does the job, and he doesn't even get to the part where you fuck yourself with it before he blows his load.
At first that'd be enough for him. Satisfied, no longer thinking about what happened. Until time goes on and he keeps thinking back to that look you most definitely meant for him. If you weren't looking for his attention you wouldn't have presented yourself so perfectly right?
He watches the rest of your content in one night, really pushing the limits of his stamina as he blows load after load to the sight of you getting yourself off to his name in multiple ways and positions.
After the obsession fully sets in I see him having a little bit of a crisis between deciding whether he should be the only one who gets to see you like that. It's literally made for him after all. OR if he secretly likes how much other people drool over you while they couldn't stand a chance with you.
He ends up finding who you are and where you live and he watches through the walls of your home as you record yourself. He gets the front row seat and all the parts that come before and after. All the little insights in your life that others don't see. So he makes the move to meet you... aaaand the rest is history...
ALSOO being the attention whore he is I see him even wanting to record one with you. Where all you see in the frame is his naked thighs and cock so no one can actually tell that it's him while he has you sucking him off. Knowing that nobody else will get you like this and that all your fans are watching you finally blow him like you've been clearly wanting to for so long just blows up his ego to insane proportions.
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sergle · 1 year
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There's something about like. A certain genre of posts / Online Opinions about insecurity/depression/misery/complaints that are so unhelpful that they wrap right around to being straight up hilarious. and it's the ones that are more or less written to the tone of "Feeling bad? That's gross!" Like, just so you know, don't voice your insecurities/ have low self esteem, because that's offputting! You're gross and weird. Don't be insecure about that, though. That would be stupid if you felt insecure about people disliking you for being insecure. Not attractive. You should be thinking about being as attractive as possible. You shouldn't make comments about suicide, even if you're suicidal! Keep those thoughts entirely to yourself. Make sure nobody around you knows you're thinking about this. It would Make Them Uncomfortable. It's better to keep these thoughts in your head where they can fester. Don't post OR talk to friends with complaints about you feeling miserable or depressed. Tbh people who are sad/upset a lot? Kinda a red flag! You are probably miserable because you're a bad person and you've brought this on yourself. If you don't have friends, it's because you're awful to be around. Easy! Solved the problem for you. And no, there is no nuance to this, got it? So, make sure to feel bad about feeling bad, but don't feel bad about it, because, well, that's just gross. And annoying! You might've wanted your brain rotted thoughts to be Peer Reviewed, you might have just needed to vent- you might've been hoping for some comfort, to get things off your chest. Well, don't! Don't talk about thoughts or feelings that are negative with your friends, you'd be burdening them and that's only meant for THERAPY. #SponsoredbyBetterHelp #MentalHealth like, DAMN. that's so helpful. you're so good at helping. I um really liked the part where these are all hard and fast rules that encourage keeping feelings bottled up and keeping your friends at arm's length. That's really funny of you.
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me: why don’t I remember some things
also me: OH YEAH L TAKES OVER FOR LIKE 87% of EVERYTHING
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svtskneecaps · 1 year
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ngl my hot take for the evening is that there is a universe where the mini mes grew on me and i was more down for their story but then they played the egg death montage and all excitement that may have dwelled within me immediately vacated the premises. i want those things dead now i want them obliterated i want to disassemble them and see how they work. cellbit stabbed his tiny ? and i was sitting there making mental notes of the mechanics. i feel nothing. burn them.
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boxwinebaddie · 5 months
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nina do you ever plan on posting the remainder of pep?
this is nonsensical but this is how i feel ig
#i'll edit this later idk i just wanted to get this out#but idk pep like triggers the shit out of me if im real#i loved peppermint but i got very sick writing it#i was not treated kindly all the time it was v stressful#the formatting is hideous#i want to private it but i wont#im also an adult lady i dont want to write about my high school style anymore like i just really dont#like its not totally finished its mostly just dialogue and id have to fill in the gaps and think a lot idk#thinking about peppermint gives me hives#im sorry i know we loved that fanfic#and ill think about just spoiling it in one go at some point MAYBE but i just want to move on#like i seriously just want to be free of peppermint like thank you for getting me here but i have so much more i wanna do#theres so much au style i wanna flesh out ( which tbh my tfbw s+k are the most similar to pep style just Super and Villian )#new stuff i want to explore i just...i can talk about pep every once and a while but i dont really like doing it all the time#its just very overwhelming for me and i really have just moved past it so idk its ok if u dont want to stay for#my rm stuff or my other ncu stuff like if u are only here for peppermint i will not be hurt if u dont wanna stay#but im not really in the headspace to talk about it and dont really want to rip that wound open anymore im trying to heal#im glad that that fanfic brought me all of you#you were the best part of writing peppermint#thank you and i'm sorry#edit: oof u can tell where i started to have a panic attack#but feel free to ask me about tkak or the tfbw style#i can link you the references and the pinterest boards are fire i promise i am cooking a lot i feel a lot abt those
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fischlcatgirl · 6 months
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Board certified abyss 12 HATER
#‘oh youre just bad at it’ i am bad at it because its bad game design. i rest my case#im not even bad at it. i could definitely clear and 36 star if i wanted to. however i should not have to take 40 shots at thr same content#trying to random luck my way into mashing the right set of buttons and miaculously not getting hit because the hp pools are too high to lose#a single percent of your dps bringing a healer or. for that matter. actually healing.#this is i think why Neuvillette has such a good rep. hes basically invincible at c1 which means you#dont have to retry the same chambers over and over because he keeps getting one-shot. because lets all look into our hearts at this moment#his damage is not that much higher than any other dps character’s damage. he just also heals and fits into the current meta#people used to say the same shit theyre saying about neuvillette about nahida#and once natlan comes out the meta will change once again. hp builds will once again become unnecessary in abyss. bennet will make a#reemergence. overload meta will become real. there will be one character who is good to use in burgeon teams theyll be burgeon nilou. this#is my natlan prediction#part of it anyway#and then we will get shneznaya and there will be a character who does damage based on how high you can get their crit over 100% but they#wont be that meta theyll be like cursed with low modifiers. but nonetheless the meta will change again.#im in a love hate relationship with the genshin meta because it is in a love-hate relationship with itself#board certified my post#board certified metaposting
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arolesbianism · 6 months
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Thinks oh so hard abt the spiraling upwards clan founders, especially the birchclan founders. Silly lil kitties who's pasts are drenched in blood with the primary regret of not drawing it sooner
#rat rambles#oc posting#warriors posting#spiraling upwards#long story short they had a shitty awful terrible leader who sucked absolutely ass and they tore him to shreds#I mean that literally they pinned him onto the mountain side and slashed and mauled the shit out of him so hard that his lives evaporated#and several of the cats involved in that scene are sill alive and major parts of the story and I love them#oh also the cat that pinned him through a stab through the throat was his own daughter btw everyone hated his ass so much#and for good reason get his ass#alas in the main story I dont rly get to go too deep into how he harmed everyone involved mostly just three main ones#aka bristlestar because shes murtlepaw's ghost mom dawncrackle because hes also haunting murtle and gullspot because shes bristle's kit#so basically all the flashbacks we get involve those three in some form or another#honeystar was also there and involved but Im not currently planning on having her rly talk abt that#most of her more modern angst is the fact that she was forced into leadership against her will#and shes been alive long enough that shes been leading birchclan far longer than she ever lived in her old clan#but she did go through a lot of shit before birchclan was founded and it definitely shaped her a lot#she used to be a very determined and high spirited lil kitty cat who tried to be optimistic#but her family began to slowly be picked off one by one by both the old leader and the one whod later get evicerated#some of the older cats around her hoped it make her back down from her revelutionary ideas but she noticed that and it backfired on them#instead of being worn down to submission she became absolutely Furious and began to lash out more and become more demanding#it got to the point that she really only had two friends in the entire clan and one of them was her aunt whod later also die after coming#out abt having witnessed the leader killing his own kits#that was the final fucking straw for her and she was fully on board when bristle and dawn started looking for cats to join their rebellion#she did get rly frustrated with them as they waited patiently for the right moment but her remaining bestie kept her from going apeshit#so once the big fight finally broke out she was more than eager to join the hoard of cats chasing the bastard upwards#now unlike some of the other cats involved this legitimately actually made her feel a lot better for a while#for the first time in ages she finally felt like she could be optimistic abt smth again and was excited abt the idea of leaving this place#she had lost so much in this damn place since she was an apprentice and just wanted to finally be able to rest easy#but once they got to their new territory and set up camp things went south real fast as a flood fucked everything up#and after losing the only cat she had left in her life and losing her tail and being made deputy on top of that she deteriorated quickly
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rigginsstreet · 1 year
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Haunted by the anon I got a few years ago asking if I thought one day Hollywood would just make totally cgi movies instead of filming on location and I was like “haha no that’s silly people still like authenticity”
Cut to now and that Twitter thread Justine Bateman posted about how actors images are being signed away in contracts if they’re not careful and how peoples voices are being artificially generated and they really just wanna make everything fake and phony so the big heads don’t have to pay people like we are in hell world!!!
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running-in-the-dark · 10 months
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I'm just so tired
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todayisafridaynight · 2 years
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masadai.......<3
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autistme · 1 year
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your against me posting has me foaming at the mouth wishing the band was Real. against me is still active TO ME.
LITERALLY. I NEED THEM TO BE REAL AND I WILL PRETEND THAT THEY ARE BY VICARIOUSLY LIVING THROUGH OLD POSTS
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arrowpunk · 1 year
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If I had a nickel for every time someone was weirdly possessive over my OCs and continued to use them even after we lost contact and got upset with me when I politely asked them to please stop. I would have 3 nickels. Which isn't a lot. But it's annoying as hell that it's happened even once.
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ame-to-ame · 2 months
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I'm ngl was scared of going to one of my jobs bc i have certain trains of thought that get triggered in familiar places where i had those thoughts before especially when my mind wanders which is especially hard to control when idle/doing menial tasks and I'm not allowed to have music/ electronics so i can't distract myself easily. but work was so good today holy shit. my coworkers seemed happy to see me! i met someone really cool with similar music taste! we yapped for an hour! she told me to visit her in the future! i had a really busy and filled schedule! i get to play with kids! I get to help people! life is good!
#kk rambles#there are some thoughts that suck me into a hole so i just try to not go near them#and that's why it's been so nice to have someone at my doorstep almost every weekend lol#i went thrifting last week w my friend! I'm going to see a gallery this weekend! i have plans to go skating w my friends soon!#my friend has plans to go to a board game cafe w me! one of my friends is trying to get me to go to a con soon!#my friend told me she dreamed of cooking with me and saving my ass from a basketball lmao#i gave my neighbours baked goods and they told me i was welcome over anytime!#i keep imagining myself as a hikkikomori but maybe i also kinda am a 现充? am i making the most out of it? maybe?#the part where Kita was like oh i wanted to invite bocchi but i had plans every week... starting to realize that's... maybe... me..?#i had promised to meet up w a friend but it's been months and i still haven't put it on schedule yet bc life is so busy 😭#i am a ryo/bocchi at heart where I'm ok w being alone/sometimes i think nobody knows me but my masking skills are Kita level#everyone I've gone out with one on one wants to see me again! so there's probably something likeable about me!#I'm ngl being discarded really does shit to your mentality like even when I'm very aware sometimes i realize afterwards#what I'm like is not defined by how others treat me is what i try to tell myself#especially when the majority of people in my life treat me with care and respect and love! people like me!#i just get stuck on the small cases where things don't turn out well but. data analysis wise. we would call those outliers and discard them.#unfortunately the brain is not a computer and as heavily i lean into t vs f i still do feel emotions : D#but it's nice to be able to feel joy and appreciation and to feel really loved by my friends
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