#like i want to be able to take it seriously SO BAD but it just makes me laugh
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alotofpockets · 2 days ago
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Finding comfort | Katie McCabe x Teen!Reader
Where you're always very timid, but open up to Katie
Woso masterlist | Words: 1k
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You had never been great at new environments. It always takes a long time before you are able to warm up to people you don’t know. So, being called up to Arsenal’s senior team and being surrounded by a whole new team definitely wasn’t an easy task.
The first few weeks had flown by, but you hadn’t really spoken to any of your teammates, besides giving short answers to their questions.No one seemed to mind that you were so timid, never pushing you. 
Behind your back they had spoken about it, not in a bad way, more so that they were worried that you weren’t comfortable here. They tried in different ways to make you feel more included, hoping you would start opening up more, but despite their best efforts not much changed. However, your teammates were patient with you, and you were grateful that they weren’t pushing.
“Good morning, are you ready for training?” Kim said as she sat down besides you in the locker room. You smiled timidly and nodded. Your team captain smiled and quietly got ready besides you. Around you the room was buzzing with the chatter of the rest of your teammates.
Training today was a gym session. You enjoyed gym days because for the biggest part of it, you were working individually. While yes football was a team sport, so that part was very important, the individual work made you feel more comfortable with the new environment.
You started with biking, as that was usually the equipment that everyone liked the least, so you would have the space to yourself. After a few minutes of cycling, Katie walked up. “Hey Kid, mind if I join you?” In response you nod. She sits down on the bike beside you and starts cycling with you.
After a few minutes of silence, Katie turns her head your way with a serious expression. “I’ve got an important question for you.” You turn to her, worried about what she might ask. Katie McCabe wasn’t known for being serious, so this must be something big or important.
“Do you think cereal is a soup?” You look at her in disbelief, definitely not having expected that question at all. “That’s your important question?” Your lips curl up slightly. “Yes, I need to know where you stand on the matter.” She says just as seriously as she started.
This time your smile breaks out and you start laughing. Katie smiles proudly before she joins in on your laughter. “So,” She says when the laughter dies down. “Is it soup?” You shake your head. “Definitely not and you can’t convince me otherwise.”
Katie gasped, her face filled with shock. “Not soup? Unbelievable. I thought you had better judgement, Kid.” You felt the walls you had up crumble bit by bit every time she joked around. 
The sound of your laughter caught the attention of a few of your teammates in the gym. They looked at the intersection between you and Katie with smiles on their faces. Who would have thought that Katie would’ve been the one to get you to open up more?
“I will let you off the hook this time. Everyone is allowed one wrong opinion, and you have just used yours.” You shake your head with a chuckle. “Good to know.”
The two of you continued chatting throughout your bike session. The team occasionally looks over, happy to see that you are feeling more at home. Wondering what kind of magic Katie used to get through to you. 
“Do you maybe want to join me and toss the ball around?” Katie is quick to say yes, happy that you want to continue opening up to her. “Right behind you.” She says as she gets stopped by Leah on the way.
“I’ve never seen her like this. How did you get her to open up?” The blonde asks full of wonder. Katie shrugs, “I told you that I am funnier than the rest of you.” She walks off proudly, leaving Leah standing there dumbfounded.  
You had picked out the weight that you wanted to use right as Katie walked up. “Alright, show me what you got, Kid.” She stood a few steps in front of you and got ready to catch the ball. You held it at chest height as you squatted down and in your movement up, you threw the ball her way. She did the same movement before tossing the ball your way again.
Just like on bikes, the two of you were chatting. It seemed like you were getting really comfortable with Katie, and there was just one thought on the older players' mind. “Why me?” She asked out loud before thinking.
“I eh, I mean you’re opening up to me and I was wondering what made you do so with me?” She threw the ball back your way. You catch it with ease and as you squat down you answer her question. 
“You just made me feel safe.” You toss the ball back but Katie is so caught by surprise with your answer that it just falls to the ground in front of her. “I win.” You say with a proud smirk.
“Yeah yeah, well done, Kid.” Katie tries to shrug off the loss, but ultimately she’s feeling very good, because she had created a safe space for you without even realising it. Growing up with younger siblings had unintentionally prepared her for youngsters joining the team.
“I want a revance on this next training.” You shake her reached out hand. “Deal, but don’t be upset if I beat you again.” Laughter erupts in the room. Your cheeks turn a bright red when you realise everyone was looking at you. 
Katie notices and puts her arm around your shoulder. “Get used to it Kid, that humour will get you far with these girls.”
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💗 If you enjoyed this fic, please consider liking, commenting, and reblogging! You can also supporting me by leaving a tip 💗
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tsukimara · 2 days ago
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Oh wow.. r-request are open.. t-Tsuki-Chan… w-well don’t mind if I do.. c-can you w-write f-Floyd, Riddle, and Epel with a jellyfish s/o w-who can’t control their stings.. hehe.. *blushes cutely.*
—🎀
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๋࣭ ˖ 𐔌Boys with jellyfish S/O who can't control their stings!࿐ . ۫
-ˏˋ⋆➔ Characters: Floyd, Riddle and Epel <3
-ˏˋ⋆➔ Hcs, Fluff, Romantic (but it can also be read as platonic), Gn!reader
-ˏˋ⋆➔ Warnings: None!
-ˏˋ⋆➔ A/N: AAAA HELLO 🎀ANON!! T-thank you for y-your request... *Looks away blushing* (We are not crazy I promise)
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FLOYD:
• A sea creature? And a jellyfish at that?! You 100% got his attention!
• LIKE OMGGG YOU'RE SO CUTE!! Let him squeeze your cheeks!!!!!
• This boy is so in loveeee.
• He just needs to hug you- !! Oh this sting was unexpected. You can't control it? Well that's fine, that doesn't stop him from hugging you!
• He wouldn't take it too seriously, he'd just laugh it off and ignore your stings.
• In short, he will test how many times he will get sting if he hugs you for a long time. He won't lie your cuddles are interesting now!
• Sometimes he touches your cnidocytes specifically to see how they feel. He doesn't do it often because he doesn't want to get stings all over his hands.
• But if he's in a bad mood he can get a little irritated but don't worry! It will pass quickly when he remembers that you can't control it and he will go back to teasing you.
• Floyd is an electric eel (correct me if I'm wrong), right? If so, I doubt he would feel your sting very much. They would actually tickle him a little.
• He'd love to help you control your stings but doesn't really know how. Even though they don't bother him, he knows you don't want to sting EVERYONE who touches you.
• Like hey don't be sad! Hug him instead of others! He doesn't mind.
• He actually thinks it's a good 'weapon' to scare others away if they bother you.
• Still, he will help you, he will ask others and look for information.
• "Sorry I sting you again..." "Sting? It was more like a little pinch than a sting zappy!"
• Ah yes, his nicknames.
• He likes to tease you for not being able to control your stings so he gave you the nickname 'zappy'.
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RIDDLE:
• Ummm, that's interesting..
• I think he would be slightly interested in your cnidocytes, but that doesn't mean he wants to touch them.
• He's not much of an affectionate person so he's not too worried about being stinged by you.
• However, if he was standing too close to you and you accidentally touched him with your cnidocytes, expect a yelp from him.
• He'll think you did it on purpose so he'll scold you.
• "Hey! That hurt! You can't do that. What if you hurt someone else? Your behavior is incorrect." "I'm so sorry Riddle!!! I don't know how to control them!" Oh-
• Since you told him that, he'll pay a little more attention when he comes near you. Not in a bad way but he doesn't want to get sting again.
• Now he'll know he can't scold you so much for something you can't control.
• Of course he will also tell you to be careful because he doesn't want anyone to get hurt (Actually he doesn't want you to feel guilty but he won't admit it).
• For that he will try to help you with them somehow. No matter what, he will look for a solution to your problem so you don't have to worry about it anymore.
• He knows that every time you tried to hug someone it always ended badly so you stopped trying to hug others.
• Riddle isn't really used to things like affection, but he'll try to dress up so you can't sting him and he'll let you hug him a bit.
• Just don't tell anyone!
• He will dress like this most of the time until you guys find a solution to control your sting.
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EPEL:
• Epel doesn't really know how to react.
• Yes, you have something cool to defend yourself but he won't lie, he doesn't really like being stinged.
• But when he finds out that you don't do it on purpose, he will look at it differently.
• "Ouch! What was that for?- Ah right, that was unintentional." He'll try not to sound mad at you because he's not, he just never expects to get stinged.
• Over time he will get used to them and will say that you can knock down whoever you want!
• When he gets sting, he claims it didn't hurt him at all, showing that he is tough.
• It actually hurt him, but he didn't want you to think he was weak or you to blame yourself!!
• " !!- N-no, What are you talking about? Uhh... It doesn't hurt that much! See? I'm not as weak as others."
• He says it would be fun to prank someone with your stings.
• Epel is not a very affectionate person but he doesn't mind physical contact, sometimes it just makes him blush.
• That's why he will dress in such a way that you can hug him or hold his hand without worrying about hurting him.
• Even if the clothes don't fit and Vil might pick on him, he'll still dress like that. He wants to show you that he cares about you!
• He will help you control your stings, no matter if he will have to read thousands of books or ask everyone in the world if it means it will help you.
• He will even try to get something that can help you control them!
• If that means you'll be happy then he will be too!
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-ˏˋ⋆➔ Twisted Wonderland Masterlist
-ˏˋ⋆➔ Masterlist
-ˏˋ⋆➔ Rules request
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literaryvein-reblogs · 1 day ago
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How do I write mean insults that's in character for a character to say? I'm personally poor at coming up with insults that don't sound generic or would actually cut deep, being mean in general. I want to write a snarky character with a dry sense of humour when it calls for it but don't know how to go about it.
He's also recovering from a superiority and inferiority complex.
As the writer, you know your character best, and what insults would make sense for them to say (also considering the bigger context of the scene). So, I'll just provide you with a compilation of prompts and notes from different sources, and you can choose which ones are most appropriate to incorporate in your story.
Writing Notes: Insults & Dry Humor
A List of "Sophisticated" Insults
Craven - having or showing a complete lack of courage; very cowardly
Fatuous - silly or stupid; complacently or inanely foolish. From Latin infatuate, which once meant "to make foolish," but which now usually means "to inspire with foolish love or admiration."
Insipid - not interesting or exciting; dull or boring
Obstreperous - difficult to control and often noisy
Obtuse - stupid or unintelligent; not able to think clearly or to understand what is obvious or simple
Pusillanimous - weak and afraid of danger. It's been used by such notables as Ralph Waldo Emerson ("It is a pusillanimous desertion of our work to gaze after our neighbours"), and the disgraced Vice-President Spiro Agnew, who called journalists "pusillanimous pussyfooters."
Sanctimonious - pretending to be morally better than other people. It once meant "possessing sanctity; holy, sacred." The genuinely holy aspect faded, and William Shakespeare is credited with first using sanctimonious to mean "hypocritically pious or devout."
Twee - sweet or cute in a way that is silly or sentimental. Just as buddy is believed to be a baby talk alteration of "brother", twee is a baby talk alteration of "sweet". Although twee is still considered a chiefly British term, it's increasingly popular in American English.
Unctuous - revealing or marked by a smug, ingratiating, and false earnestness or spirituality. Unction can mean "anointment" or it can name something used to anoint, such as a soothing or lubricating oil. That idea of oiliness led to unctuous, which can describe the slickness of false sincerity.
Vacuous - having or showing a lack of intelligence or serious thought; lacking meaning, importance, or substance
The insult would also depend on which other character it is directed at. Here is a list of "funny" insults for adults from Reader's Digest:
My days of not taking you seriously have come to a middle.
You are the human equivalent of a participation trophy.
If you were a spice, you’d be flour.
You may have a sparsely attended funeral.
I smell something burning. Are you trying to think again?
You’re like a lighthouse in a desert: bright but not very useful.
Don’t worry—the first 30 years of childhood are always the hardest.
May your life be as pleasant as you are.
You’re as useless as the “ueue” in “queue.”
Your face is just fine. It’s your personality that’s the issue.
...and for your character's significant other:
I like you. People say I have no taste, but I like you.
You continue to meet my expectations.
I’ll never forget the first time we met. But I’ll keep trying.
If genius skips a generation, our kids will be brilliant.
We were happily married for a month. Too bad it’s our 10-year anniversary.
I admire the way you try so hard.
You’re entitled to your incorrect opinion.
Have you tried doing it the way I told you to the first time?
The best part of watching a show with you is when you fall asleep because then I can watch my show.
Don’t call me crazy—you’re the one who married me!
You can always alter these to better suit your character. You can read the full list here, which also includes some insults for kids, best friends, and family.
Tips for Better Humor Writing
Humor writing isn’t all about landing a good joke (except for when it is). In creative writing, the effect is usually a bit more nuanced. Here’s a few writing techniques to get you started:
Subvert expectations. Try to undermine the audience’s expectations or reform them with structural elements.
Save the best for last. Humor is often a release of tension, so the sentence builds that tension, and the pay-off—the punchline—happens most naturally at the end. This is also sometimes referred to as the “rule of three,” where two thoughts act as a build-up to the final humorous closer.
Use contrast. Are your characters in a terrifying situation? Add something light, like a man obsessing about his briefcase instead of the T-Rex looming behind him.
Use good wordplay. Sometimes words themselves are funny, and just as often, their placement in a sentence can make a difference. Some words are just funnier than others, so make a list of those that amuse you the most.
Take advantage of cliché. While clichés are something most writers try to avoid, it’s important to recognize them,so you can use them to your advantage. Humor relies in part on twisting a cliché—transforming or undermining it. You do this by setting up an expectation based on the cliché and then providing a surprise outcome. In humor writing, this process is called reforming.
Use humor as a counterbalance. If you just pile on one terrible thing after another, it starts to become ridiculous, and people won’t buy it. Using humor is a great way to achieve the proper balance between fantasy and real life. Remember, if a roller coaster only did twists and turns the whole time, it wouldn’t be as fun to ride.
Level of Intensity
There are people who shrug off an insult (“That’s just the way she is”) and people who commit murder over an insult (“I’m avenging my honor!”). Plus, of course, everything in between. Which is your character?
To be believable, consider the following:
Personality. How hard does your character take events in general? Does s/he get really excited over good fortune and really depressed over setbacks? Then we’ll find it believable that s/he gets really angry and reacts accordingly.
The second cause of an intense reaction is the nature of the specific fight that you’re creating on the page. Lily Owens lets most of her father’s insults go by (“the art of survival”). But when he starts in about her mother, the topic is too important to Lily to gloss over. Lily’s reaction is intense. She runs away. Another type of character might merely have seethed silently. Still another might have fought T. Ray more intensively, setting fire to the house with him inside.
Finally, the strength of fights is culturally determined. Where public or even private scenes are disapproved of (upper-class London, old-money Boston, “well-behaved” families), arguments may be muted, even when the subject matters a great deal. In other cultures, volatility is not frowned on, and people may feel free to scream at each other in public. In extreme cases, murder may even be considered a duty, as in avenging a sister’s sexual assault.
Where is your story taking place? Are your arguers in tune with local or family culture? Maybe not. You can create interesting effects by portraying the rebels against the local mores: the meek child born into a battling family, the furious feminist in polite 19th-century English society.
On Dry Humor
Dry humor - is all about the subtle irony of the facts being stated plainly; it is the contrast between sentiment and reality that makes the situation funny.
The technique is known for its simple, often matter-of-fact declarations that will make the audience laugh or be perplexed (humor is subjective, after all).
With dry humor, delivery and intention create a sort of comedic cognitive dissonance or contrast. Sometimes it is as simple as using a bit of sarcasm, but it can also be more than that.
Dry humor lives and dies on the back of doing less.
Less facial expressions, less props, less setup—less is often more when it comes to landing the joke. You aren’t using a big, dramatic setup or a grandiose vocabulary to make your point.
Essentially, these jokes are derived from saying the opposite of what is meant or delivering them in a way that purposefully counteracts the supposed meaning of what is being said.
Dry Humor in Writing
The function of dry humor has often been to highlight the absurd.
It is effectively executed in moments where satirization of the circumstances at play require little more than noting the facts aloud.
When writing this sort of humor, quick, cutting accuracy is key to making the jokes land.
Simplicity is king, and an honest statement of the facts will always lead the way to finding the funny.
Sources: 1 2 3 4 5 ⚜ More: References ⚜ Humour ⚜ Laughter & Humour
Hope this helps with your writing!
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anxi04 · 1 day ago
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Tim admits this was… definitely a bad idea. But in his defense he could not be blamed for anything he decides after an intense case. He stayed up for a consecutive 74 hours and then crashed for 2 days straight so… really it's Kon's fault for taking the suggestion seriously.
Tim and Kon are at Olive Garden on a small date, nothing too serious. However like the fool Tim is he's disguised so he doesn't get recognized as 'Timothy Jackson Drake' or 'Tim Wayne' and since he's still very out of it at the moment he's not really putting much of a mask on so the confidence is gone, and he's still so tired so the comprehension is a little… off right now.
He forgot about the dreaded 'how much Parmesan do you want' question for dishes and after a minute it just got too awkward to say anything. So here they are, Tim dying inside while the waiter (who's definitely a meta cause where the hell is all that cheese coming from?) grates the 5th block of Parmesan. Kon is laughing the traitor that he is and at this point it's also a little bit of a challenge on his and the waiters end.
"Is this good enough for your exquisite tastes?" The waiter, Lora (god they are getting a minimum of a 500$ tip), asks him very pointedly while looking directly in his eyes and aggressively grating.
Tim can feel an angel and demon on his shoulder. 'More! A mountain of cheese! All the cheese in the restaurant!' is what his angel is saying. The demon is… cruel in the way they want cheese.
God maybe Tim should've stayed asleep. He stares the waiter in the eyes (uncomfortable but he's had to look Becca directly in her beady eyes and tell her that her ex-husband was wrong for leaving. Tim gave said husband the courage to leave. This is nothing.) and makes a 'go on' gesture.
Tim blinks and suddenly three feet have been added to the height of the cheese mountain and holy shit. Using powers for the most petty reason is 100% what he would do. He respects Lora so much right now.
"Tim.. Hon… You're lactose intolerant that is way more than enough." Once Kon was able to get his breath back he tries putting an end to this madness but Tim is committed. So is Lora, if the way her eyes dart over to Kon in a challenge is any indication.
"No. Lactose intolerance is a weakness and I will train it out." Why is he not backing out oh god what the fuck is he thinking.
"Oh, would you like more help with that? We have some more… brutal cheeses for lactose intolerance. I can grab some mozzarella, or brie, or any other soft cheeses." Oh my god. Tim's gonna die here. He's gonna die cause he's too stubborn. Although he respects the hell out of Lora right now. He's entertaining the idea of her becoming a hero. Or villain. Either would fit.
Anyway. That sounds like a challenge, and Tim doesn't back down from challenges like that. "That would be wonderful, thank you." Eye contact has not been broken. Janet would be proud of him.
Eventually there is a 10 foot tall mountain of cheese on his plate and a ladder next to the table. And now he'd feel like a dick if he doesn't eat it all but also holy fuck he is severely lactose intolerant.
Kon's head is making a dent in the table. Tim will fully understand if Kon needs a break after this.
He can see Lora blatantly staring him down from across the restaurant and well that's just another fucking challenge.
Slowly, (but not too slowly, no that would be showing weakness) he finishes the plate. And honestly he completely forgot what he had originally ordered until he got to the bottom of it and by then it was just such a cheesy mess he can't even tell if it was supposed to be spaghetti or some version of American Alfredo. He eats it anyway.
Lora comes over soon after, fake smile barely hiding fury, and asks if he wants seconds. It's a challenge and Tim doesn't refuse challenges… but Tim is also not dumb and so he declines. He swears he sees disappointment in her eyes.
She lets him pay the bill and tip her (looking at him slightly when he gives her a thousand dollars, which causes him to put down another thousand in her hand) and soon after they're set to leave.
Tim does however hear her say something about using the money to put little rockets on a skateboard instead of something useless like rent and honestly? Tim might have found his best civilian (for now) friend.
They leave Olive Garden 2,043$ less rich (not really) and Tim with a new contact and a promise to personally build her a skateboard that easily reaches 90 mph.
He's praying no one recognized him and he won't wake up to the news calling him out. He could never live it down.
(He was in fact recognized, but by one of the Bat-Clan and when he opens his bedroom there is an absurd amount of cheese everywhere. He blames Jason.)
(It was Damian.)
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paperstarwriters · 14 hours ago
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Sorry for the light mode lmao
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Anyways I was going to respond to this in a comment saying—and I quote "💕💕💕💕 Idk If I'd be able to actually write a fic from this but it really just scratches the good itch in my brain lmao like—" and then proceeded to basically write TWO small drabbles in the comments lmaooo
anyways it was getting too long for that so I'm just gonna put it into a reblog.
But like imagine you're running away from base—maybe it's to goof off or maybe it's to avoid all the trouble that's going on. Maybe you want to prove yourself capable, or maybe you got into an argument and stormed off believing no one would follow. Whatever the case, you've left the base, and Optimus took notice. He hunts you down, searching for you discretely in his alt-mode in your favorite populated areas, and transforming to get a better view in your favorite but less populated spots. He's doing this to protect you, he argues to himself, turning over every stone, nearly decimating entire buildings as he feverishly looks for you. You could be caught by Decepticons, you could be harassed by some lot of unsavory criminals, it was getting late—where were you???
The moment he finds you of course, he's running over to you, eager to see that you're okay, eager to make sure you're protected and safe. Eager to see you.
It doesn't stop the slight terror he imposes, when his head swivels to turn to you, blue lights gleaming as they've caught their target, and the thundering footsteps of someone approaching breaks your initial silence. Under the shadow, you can't tell if he's mad.
Under the shadow, you can't tell if that's a bad thing.
Oooooorrrr—
maybe this is you goofing off! One of many pictures taken after you had been trying to take a picture of the sunset, and curiously, Optimus peered into the frame, shadowed from the setting sun, but blue eyes still gleaming curiously as he tried to assess what you were doing. It makes him look like some sort of weird cryptid—like one of those shitty pictures of mothman, and all too eagerly you lean into the idea of it. After all, this wasn't tangible evidence of his face and existence in your possession, you could easily pass it off as a collection of weird cryptid sightings you've had should it ever put you or him in any danger, and if you had kiss-marks over the printed pictures, well hey, some people wanted to fuck mothman, why couldn't you simp for your own "freshly discovered" cryptid? So you take more pictures of him, revealing your master plan of pretending he's some janky silly creature of folklore, that few would take seriously just so you could have pictures of him on your person. He's confused but interested, and you vow to find and share stories of the modern folklore of the area, but he agrees to participate in your pictures, letting you snap a few pictures that teeter the line of creepy, and yet look nothing but pretty and adorable on his features.
As the sun sets further, you catch one picture where the dying light paints his face gold as he stares towards it, a beautiful contrast to his blue optics looking almost honey soft, in the orange-y light and for the first time you get a picture that shows his face, distorted only by the glowing light, but identifiable to a keen eye. All too suddenly, you're struck with the urge to find and collect many more pictures of him, to drag him out with you to enjoy the sunset, if only to see that face—that expression again.
And all too soon, the sun sets, and In the darkness of the growing night you can hardly see his silhouette against the surrounding darkness, just two twin spheres of blue, looking almost like some UFO in the sky through the pixelated screen of your camera. You still take the picture, you still giggle at the sight, but you make the mental note to figure out more ways to take and keep pictures of this ever stoic bot.
Optimus, on the other hand, is all to delighted at the attention you douse him in, in the delight you express at the ability to keep a picture of him for yourself. His fingers almost twitch at the urge to do the same, to have you captured in a picture so that he might have your likeness when ever you stray away from him. For work or to return home or whatever, something to ease the ache of your absence. For now though, engraving the image into his processor will be sufficient.
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I touched grass a few weeks ago and while aggressively and illegally speeding through highways like Blurr (for legal reasons this is a joke), I snapped an ✨ aesthetic ✨ sunset pic. But the vibes were giving OG Bayverse, heavy 2007 vibes, like BIG TIME, so I edited Optimus in there cuz why the fuck not? 🌚
(Edit: some ppl said it looked creepy and I kinda see it now so I added eyes to make it creepier. I like it the creepiness, it’s a vibe wtf?)
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simpjaes · 2 hours ago
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sharing = caring [p.js | s.jy]
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Jake thought he could get away with purchasing your panties off of your brother without anyone knowing. Unfortunately, the dorm life, where Jay exists literally three feet away from him at all times makes that impossible. or the one where jake tries to jerk it while his roommate is sleeping and jay just wants him to share a lil bit of what he has hidden under his pillow
minors dni! | requested by anonymous
WORDCOUNT― 1.2k
PAIRING― jake x jay x reader's panties
WARNINGS ― both jake and jay are fucking weirdos. bisexual jay. jake is just horny so he's like "well, ok i guess"
NOTE― tumblr hasn't been letting me post longer drabbles as an ask, so to the anon who sent me this idea, ur brain. mwah.
smut tags under cut:: 
smut tags― masturbation, panty sucking, kind of guys kissing, cum, moaning, purchasing of panties lol
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
“Where did you get those?”
Jay stares forward at his roommate, narrowing his eyes for a moment in realization. 
“Found them.” Jake shrugs, trying to hide the item crumpled in his fingers, shoving them quickly into his pocket as if it would keep Jay from asking any more questions.
Unfortunately, Jay knows what those are, and knows who they belong to. He saw that fucking instagram post. Jake saw it too, Jay saw his bitch ass like the picture as soon as it was posted. 
It was a photo of you alongside your friends. You hadn’t noticed at the time the image was posted, and god, fuck, Jay wishes you never found out because the whole post was deleted shortly after. It was a panty shot, you sitting there on the front steps of a bar alongside your friends. If you zoomed in on the photo, because let’s be honest, Jay always zoomed in, you could see it. You could see your panties.
An accidental panty shot.
So, Jake would be out of his fucking mind to think Jay doesn’t know what those are. What he wants to know is how the fuck he got his hands on them.
Jake awkwardly stands, almost like a deer in headlights as Jay closes in on him, furrowing his brows and glaring at him.
“Jake.” Jay warns him with a deeper tone, “Where the fuck did you get those?”
Jake, famously bad at telling lies, stiffens up before dropping his shoulders entirely. 
“I paid her little brother for them.”
Jay lends him a look of disgust. Not because he thinks it’s weird, but more so because why the fuck didn’t he think of that first?”
“Bro…” Jay trails off, wanting to reach into Jake’s pocket and grab them himself, but he relents...for now. “How much did you pay for them?”
What Jake thought would be a scolding session, or like, a life long reason to mock and make fun of him turns out to be…oh. Now, hold on.
“Wait–” He takes a step back, raising a brow. “Why do you care?”
“Are they dirty?” Jay continues to question. “What do they smell like?”
Then, silence as the realization hits them both. 
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Well.
Jake expected to spend his first night with these panties alone, but it seems like Jay isn’t willing to let him out of his sight with them. Weird, absolute freak behavior, but he gets it. 
He’d probably do the same if he noticed Jay twirling your panties in his hands too. Still, he’s been dying to jerk off since he got the first whiff of them. 
Yes, they’re dirty. 
He didn’t pay $200 for nothing. And your brother drives a hard bargain. Jake seriously almost dipped into his saving because the fucker wanted more for them. Fucking pervert, selling his sister’s panties to make an extra buck.
Whatever. 
The issue now is the fact that Jay just lingers.
“Weren’t you supposed to go to work tonight?” Jake groans, hating the dorm life and despising the lack of jerking off he’s been able to do with a roommate so close. 
“I called in.” Jay deadpans, rolling over on his bed and acting like he’s going to go to sleep. 
Jake leaves it at that, rolling his eyes in a huff and flopping down on his own bed. 
An hour goes by in silence.
Two hours.
Jake’s eyes are bloodshot by this point because he really is sleepy. He’s got class at eight tomorrow morning, after all. Thankfully, he can tell Jay is asleep by now. Which means…
He’s as quiet as he can be when he reaches under his pillow, nearly moaning at the feeling of the panties against his fingertips alone. He’s lucky Jay didn’t see him stuff them under here, because for a second he was almost worried they’d be nowhere to be found once he finally got to do this. 
And so, silently still, he grabs them and gently lays them across his nose, inhaling deeply before sliding his hand down and into his sweatpants. 
He breathes the scent of you in, imagining all sorts of things until he’s working up a sweat trying to hold in his silence. Even if he were being loud, he wouldn’t know it, his ears have been ringing since the first touch of his cock, if he’s being totally honest.
They’re ringing so loudly, and his eyes are shut so tightly that he doesn’t even notice Jay getting out of bed and standing in front of him. He only realizes when the scent of you is suddenly gone and a waft of fresh air fills his lungs instead.
His abs flex as he opens his eyes in a frustrated groan before he’s ripping his hand from his pants and trying to snatch the beloved item back. 
“What the fuck?!” Jake grips, not even hiding how hard he is before lifting himself from his bed, onto his knees to try and grab at Jay’s arm. 
Jay, already lost in the sauce much like Jake was previously, will be damned to hand them over so easily. So, he presses his two fingers into the seat of the panties and sucks them into his mouth.
Jake nearly sees red at that. 
“I paid for those.” He seethes out this time, cock jumping unintentionally at the way Jay’s other hand is blatantly down his own pants, unashamed, right there in front of him. 
“We can’t share?” Jay mumbles from around the panties, leaving the fabric in place while pulling his fingers out, reaching for Jake’s arm to pull him even closer. 
All Jake can do is follow the grip on him in shock, unsure of what to do but fuck, he was so close already. Jay seems weirdly okay with this…why can’t he?
“Have you not tasted her yet?” Jay mumbles again, rolling his eyes back briefly when he flicks his wrist against the head of his cock. 
Jake wouldn’t know what’s going through his mind even if you tortured him to say it. Genuinely, there is no excuse for him to lean forward like this, chasing the scent of your panties right up against his own room mate’s mouth. He tries to save himself from crossing that line by trying to tug them out with a gentle pull, but it doesn’t work. Why doesn’t it work?
Because Jay closes the distance for him. Not kissing him, but lying his lips against Jake’s with the panties acting as a barrier. And then? He presses his tongue out, as if giving the panties back to Jake through a kiss.
Jake moans when he slightly pulls back, hesitating as he moves his hand down his own pants again. Unsure if he’s moaning for the taste of you, the intense arousal in his gut, or, well, being kind of kissed when he like, really really needs it. Jay or not, human contact is human contact when he's this fucking turned on.
Already, Jay is close with the remnant of your pussy on his tongue, but opening his eyes and seeing Jake act just as insane as he does– he can’t help it. There’s something about the taboo nature of it. The way Jake paid for panties from a girl who barely knows either of them. The way he started loudly jerking off as if Jay wasn’t three feet away from him before. The way he flushed while watching Jay try and get some of it too, jerking himself off in the open like that.
The way Jake just..stays here, inches from his face and cums against his sweat pants with a broken moan, drooling all over the panties.
It’s not that his roommate turns him on or anything. Honestly, Jay could give less of a shit about Jake in terms of sexuality but that moan. So broken, so desperate. He couldn’t help himself, reaching and tearing the panties out of Jake’s slack mouth as he releases, just to shove them down his own pants, cumming all into the fabric to not only the taste, scent, and feeling of your panties, but the sound of Jake whimpering at the loss.
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greml1nb0i · 2 days ago
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I'm fearing the day when human alastor design on screen as I feel like it's gonna really make the show seem very racist as they where willing to change niffty demon design from yellow to a pale pink. But wouldn't change alaster skin nor hair. Like I understand because people are used to the design, but on the other hand, viv probably should have just made alastor not use voodoo and just literally anything else
Omg yes, 2 points to be made here.
ISTG Viv only gave Alastor the "he's half creole" label as an excuse to not draw black features on him, while yes it is true not all creole men are dark skinned, they're still black and have black features, so Viv' excuse is thrown right out of the water, then and there.
For example:
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Vs
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you see how the melanin is still there even though these are all different images of light and dark skinned creole men, they still have their features that make them creole men. Alastor doesnt have that. All he has is dark skin in his human design and that's it, there's no other black features.
Also idk where she's getting this idea that Alastor would even be allowed his own radio show, especially in the 1940s-50s. He would've had the worst time just trying to get people to take him seriously. Black owned businesses were a thing back then, however it was so difficult because of the racism, that for him to be able to do it all without any sort of mention of discrimination or a hassle is telling me Viv doesnt think that hard about these time periods.
Viv is [imo most def] racists.
Point 2.
I am pagan, i was raised into it. So you can probably understand why a lot of people, not just those who actually practice spiritual/occult practices, closed or otherwise, get real fucking pissed whenever its used for "ooo evil, scarwy, oh no satan aaaa" type bullshit. Its 2024 people dont do this type of shit anymore for horror or evil characters unless theres a literal reason.
for example:
American Horror Story S3 The Coven, uses allusions to paganism, witchcraft, wicca and voodoo, BUT even though it's used in a horror show, the use of the occult practices is used for both morally good and bad reasons, cuz just like nature there is no good without bad and vice versa. This is made especially clear with the character, embodying the real life Voodoo Queen, Marie Laveau. Character Marie uses her practice for both good and morally bad things.
SPOILERS: She was responsible for giving Delphine LaLaurie an immortality elixir before murdering the LaLaurie family and burying Delphine alive. Then, Marie imprisons Delphine and hacks off her hand. For those who don't know, Marie is literally punishing Delphine for her actions towards others, [she's racist, watch the season if you really want to know her story and what all she did.]
Regardless of the moral implication, Marie used her practice for, what she considered to be, justice. She has a motive. Regardless of how some people may feel about AHS now, you cant deny at least they did their research.
However for Viv, Alastor's voodoo powers are strictly used for evil and there's no real reason given as to why he chose voodoo or even practices it.
Voodoo itself is a closed practice, for a reason. It also isn't something to make light of. How is it Viv can make a show that supposedly critiquing Christianity but she uses pagan and voodoo practices as stand ins for evil magic?? you are just perpetuating a stereotype that CHRISTIANS came up with. That the Occult/Spirituality is inherently evil.
& If Viv says "its cuz he's black and so he can," im going to actually scream.
Small correction: Alastor died in the 1930s so that makes his radio show an impossible achievement. Also the first black man to get a radio show host was in the mid 1940s. Alastor wouldn't have even had a chance.
Thank you to @bump-inthe-night for giving me the correct information, so to correct myself.
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add1ctedt0you · 11 months ago
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What a plot twist you were. [x]
#Like. The narrator introduces jc to us as the antagonist#Then we got to know him. Not who people think he's. But who he really is#And we saw jc giving wwx a piggyback. Giving him soup. Rescuing him. Putting himself between wwx and any danger (madam yu/wen soldiers)#And even the staged fight. It's yk. Staged#jc wanted to protect wwx at any cost. But wwx wasn't willing to compromise. But jc did#The fight was wwx's idea. Because jc is an enabler (just like jfm and jyl)#jc is ready to bend for his loved ones sake#The point is. Every action jc takes. Is in the name of his loves ones' safety. And surprise. wwx is one of the people jc really cares about#Even after wwx' return. Aside a broken cup. jc isn't doing much to stop wwx or anything. We know that jl was able to free wwx from Zidian#only because jc - Zidian's primary master- wanted it!#And jc fling himself into danger countless times to save wwx even though wwx can't sit still with him for a hot minute#What I wanted to say it's that the jc is presented to us - the mean ungrateful man- is very different from the real jc -#the indulgent uncle who rolls his eyes at his nephew antics. the brother who buries the hatchet for his sister's happiness.#the uncle who kinda wants to help wn to get up from the floor because he was an ass to jc but he helped jl and that's what matters to jc#the sect leader who let two women speak freely their mind in a patriarchy society#People better than me have already said this. shit I can't remember my point lmao#Like. jc is presented as an antagonist but what this man wanted was an apology and an explanation#This post is a mix of a rant I wrote last year (ha) after seeing a bad take. About what I don't remember lmaoo. And me wanting#to make gifs of wzc in this scene. Why does he look so good. It should be illegal. Seriously#jiang cheng#*mgifs
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chirpingfromthebox · 2 days ago
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Some random thoughts:
I actually did put Ottawa as my pick for last in the standings. And not because I think they're gonna be bad! But because someone has to be! Think about it. I believe in the power of New York this season. I'm not gonna count the inaugural champions, so I'm not putting Minnesota. Toronto has way too many proven powerhouse players for me to ever put them in last. Montréal plays a gritty game like Boston, but had the offensive power to back it up last season, so I'm gonna take that long shot. And so I'm left with Boston and Ottawa. While Boston lacked some real offense, but they drafted with that in mind. So I'm curious how it will pan out. But the deciding factor for me is that I can't count out a team with that much grit, especially when they have Hilary Knight and Aerin Frankel at the helm. So I'm left with Ottawa. And I am fully prepared to eat my own words. Because they've always struck me as the giant slayer team. Anytime someone counted them out they'd come back and make them regret it. Plus if their new goalies can take some of the strain off of Maschmeyer? No matter what happens though, you can always trust the Charge to be an exciting team to watch.
Love seeing that I'm not alone in thinking Hilary Knight is gonna be a force this season. I'm really curious to see what Boston's lines wind up looking like.
On one hand, in my mind I know Minnesota won't trade Britta Curl. If they did it would be a Jaques/Tapani-level holy-shit of a trade. But as a Frost fan I would love it. Not only to get her off my team, but to make all the high-horse naysayers realize she represents a league problem, not some Minnesota-inherent problem.
While she'll never win the title, I just want everyone to know that Lee Stecklein is one of the most impressive defenders in the league. She tends to get overshadowed by the more offensive-defenders, because it's harder to collect defensive stats. But in terms of pure defense she is a true menace to the opposing team. I just need you to all be aware of the beauty of her game.
I'm also gonna take a moment to cheer on the Frost a little bit. I do get why y'all hate on the Frost, in spite of the fact that we are the victims here. But if you seriously think the Frost is gonna be on the bottom? Like that isn't just anger at Klee's menagerie of bad decisions coming out? Think about it. The image everyone has in their minds is the Frost's massive losing streak after the international break. People act like they accidentally got into the playoffs. When you should be thinking, "here is a team that was so good all year long, that they didn't even need to play their last 5 games to get into the playoffs." And that's considering their star player was injured for a chunk of the year!They had the best goalie tandem in the league. They have a host of offensive powerhouses. They already had some top-tier defenders and just picked up Thompson and Batherson? They have a type of depth that allows them to be able to adapt their game in really interesting ways. Some of the real questions are: Is Ken Klee really the hot shit that the league seems to think he is? How will having a new GM who seems incredibly wet behind the ears affect the team? And can the Frost shake off their tendency to be streaky?
And isn't it all just so exciting? Who knows what will happen?! No matter who wins and who loses, we the fans will have won, because this is gonna be some damn great hockey.
2024-25 Season Prediction Survey Results
Read below or read a better formatted version here
The second PWHL season looms heavy on the horizon, and with preseason camps underway, the prospect of change, a new season with new storylines and new team names and logos and new players, haunts us all. We may not all be sports experts, but after watching the first season for months and eagerly awaiting the second, we all have our own ideas of how season two might go. Whether they’re logical ideas or not will be seen upon the future, but I, lover of data and spreadsheets, decided to gather up all your opinions and predictions of how season two will go, from the biggest honor (The Walter Cup) to random questions regarding trades and penalty minutes
Team Predictions -
This was the easy part of the form. Minimal prior knowledge, you didn’t even need to know the team names because I put them all in as multiple choice questions. Hypothetically everyone could have just picked randomly and I wouldn’t be any the wiser. That being said, some interesting trends emerged from you folks, some predictable and some less so.
Walter Cup Winners: Boston Fleet or Montreal Victoire (35.3%)
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This was probably one of the closest races beneath the team with only about a single vote difference between Boston winning it all and Montreal winning it all at any one time. As an entirely unbiased Boston fan and casual Montreal enjoyer, I think this prediction is definitely founded in something. Montreal and Boston project to be two of the stronger teams, but I also think I’m biased if only because of how many Montreal and Boston fans I see in comparison to other teams. With all that being said, I’d be disappointed but not surprised if some other less represented team (Seriously does no one believe New York can win? Even Ottawa got a single vote and y’all really hated Ottawa) wins it going away after a hot season. But as my father always says, that’s why we play the game and this game/series in particular is quite a far ways away.
Walter Cup Runner Ups: Montreal Victoire (35.3%)
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Honestly, I was expecting pretty similar results for this question as the question above, after all if the general consensus is that one of those two teams will win the cup, then one of them would have to lose it, right? Well Montreal was right up there, but unexpectedly Toronto came in second with 24% of people having enough faith in Toronto getting to the finals and then very little faith in them actually winning it, girlfailures that they are. Montreal tied with them to get second in the cup, followed by Boston (please god don’t let it come to that I don’t think my heart could take two years in a row) and then the mish mash of the Sirens, Frost, and Charge. 
First in the standings: Toronto Sceptres (32.4%)
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So Montreal was leading this right up until I was actually writing and then I had to completely change my paragraph mid writing which was so much fun and definitely not irritating at all, but Toronto overtook Montreal for first, aiming for that repeat first in the standings and dare I be speaking sacrilege against the Victoire (who I do like more than the Sceptres) I honestly think they have a better chance. Like a 45% chance vs. a 40% chance. Boston carried up third place in voting and as much as I love the Fleet I think lots of things would have to go right for that to happen (another stunning season by Frankel, more consistent offense, an actual power play, so on and so forth). 
Additionally, as much as I hate to say it, I think we’re seriously underselling Minnesota, just because they made some inadvisable choices during the off season doesn’t mean they still aren’t largely the team who won the Walter cup and has theoretically gotten better during the offseason. Then again, I’d be as happy as anyone to see them crash and burn a little bit so it’s all speculatory. New York got a grand total of two votes but I’m secretly rooting for them to surprise some people. Ottawa got none, but we can cover that in the next section.
Last in the standings: Ottawa Charge (52.9%)
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Guys. Guys, really? Ottawa fans, I am begging you, come represent your team because this is embarrassing. Like I don’t know much about what Ottawa’s been up to other than rebuilding the Czech National Team (shout out to Carla Macleod I am manifesting you knowing what you are doing). Like they weren’t bad last year, they were second in goals for, and they did lose a bit but they had tons of overtime losses which means they were in the games. Hell, they were very nearly in the playoffs, they were in the same category as Minnesota and Boston, the two finalist teams! Apparently my unpopular opinion is that Ottawa isn’t going to suck (They hopefully have two solid goalies now so Masch won’t be overworked, they signed some good players, I feel like I’m going crazy.) Otherwise, there’s not much notable in this section other than some doubt about the Sirens and the Frost (lord let it be the Frost /j) but shoutout to the one person truly going against the grain and saying that Montreal is gonna get dead last, I applaud your bravery.
The Four Playoff Teams:
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This question was a little less straightforward so we’re gonna split it into three sections. The (Predicted) Shoe-ins, The Contenders, and Ottawa.
The (Predicted) Shoe-ins - 
The Sceptres, the Victoire, and the Fleet all had about 30 votes with nearly 90% of respondents selecting them each as one of the potential playoff teams. This fits pretty well with the previous votes of the Walter Cup winners and runner ups, so I wasn’t too surprised at any of these. All of these teams should have a decent shot at the playoffs and my own mostly unfounded misgivings about the Sceptres aside, this is all pretty reasonable and I largely think there’s a good chance that this is how it goes..
The Contenders - 
The Frost and the Sirens were pretty evenly matched, about half of y’all voted that they’d be one of four playoff teams and I generally agree that they both have a pretty good shot at the playoffs so there isn’t much to talk about here. I’d personally be more excited for the Sirens to make a run at the playoffs, I think they have a chance to be good after last season and hopefully put some things together over the summer, but we shall see.
Ottawa - 
You know I already wrote a whole ramble about this and since then Ottawa beat Boston 6-1 in the preseason and I think they heard how little faith you guys had in them and decided to take it out on my team. That’s all I’m gonna say on that.
The Trade Predictions:
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These answers were definitely a bit less clear cut due to the nature of the question, after all it’s a lot easier to say who you think will be good than try and get into the head of GMs and coaches, but a few trends emerged nonetheless. The Frost, the Sirens, and the Charge all got 19 or 20 apiece and I think it makes a bit of sense. After all the Sirens and the Charge seemingly stand the most to gain through trade having missed the playoffs, and from later responses those who voted Minnesota were manifesting a Britta Curl trade which I’ll refrain from judging at the moment. I will say I’m a bit surprised that less people voted for Boston, after all unless my memory is entirely wrong they had the most trades over the course of last season and seem to hold very few qualms about it.
0.500+ Winning Percentage: Montreal Victoire (84.8%)
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Guys, I respect this take, I’m 90% sure this was one of my votes for an above .500 team as well, but may I speak a little bit of heresy against the Victoire? Like they’re gonna be good, I don’t have doubt in that, but I don’t know if they’re gonna be that decisively good. They’re a bit injured which could lead to a rocky start and do we all still remember how much they relied on those top few players especially in the playoffs? I’m pretty sure in the Boston series their fourth line may have gotten less than ten minutes overall which I’m not an expert on hockey but isn’t a whole thing about balancing ice time and having solid lines all the way through so your stars aren’t having absurdly long nights (shout out to Erin Ambrose you deserve a gun)?
Otherwise this follows the general trends of the playoffs with a bit more faith in the Frost than in the Sirens, a reasonable amount for the Fleet and Sceptres, and absolutely none in Ottawa which I think we’ll all come to regret but I’ve said my piece about that already so I won’t beat a dead horse into the ground.
Higher Goals For than Goals Against: Toronto Sceptres (68.8%)
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This risks getting into actual smart people hockey stuff that I am by no means an expert in, so I won’t spend too long other than to just share the results. Toronto and Montreal are the only two teams with a confidence rate of over 50%, followed by Boston, Minnesota, New York, and Ottawa. I think it’s interesting to think about potential offensive numbers but really can’t speak much to how accurate these have the chance of being because my main reaction is “huh yeah that’s a statistic people can make predictions on”
Player Predictions -
This definitely was a lot less definitive on almost all fronts, and I joked while advertising this that you could just type in MPP for all the answers and get half of them right, which seems to be the approach that some of you took. It’s fair, but expect a lot of repetition looking at these charts due to that because she is just that pervasive. I’ll try to mention as many players you guys picked as possible but you might have to look at the charts because I am neither an expert in all players nor a good enough writer to say anything other than “Yeah that’s certainly a player”
Above 1.00 points per game played: Marie Philip-Poulin (13 votes)
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And here is the start to our MPP sweep, starting strong off the bat, about half of the 26 answers to this question included her which makes sense. She was second only to Natalie Spooner last season, with 1.1 pt/g and unless something weird happens I see no reason to suspect otherwise from her. I honestly didn’t expect as many other players to be suggested, after all it was only Natalie Spooner and Marie Philip-Poulin which makes sense, it’s an impressive statistic, but everyone seemed to have their favorites. Sarah Nurse was one player who hasn’t really been on my radar but you guys seem to like her, for this question and a bunch of other ones. I personally am partial to a Hilary Knight comeback season from this list but would be interested to see anyone make that jump.
In the Top Ten Points Getters: Marie Philip-Poulin (15 votes)
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Everyone raise their hands if they’re surprised MPP won this in a landslide, oh wait literally no one is surprised I could have told you this when it was literally only my vote on the board. You’ll learn very quickly that oftentime the runaway winner of these simple questions aren’t really the interesting ones, it’s everyone else that got nominated that you can really dig into. Everyone who got top 10 last year, 18-27 points was up here in this list except Brianne Jenner and Katerina Mrazova which I’m chalking up to you guy’s Ottawa hate. Shoutout to Tobi and the one other person who voted for Gabbie Hughes and also Ronja Savolainen, you are the real ones rooting for the Charge.
Also I don’t know if it’s because with Natalie Spooner just kind of ruled the world coming out of Toronto I was completely blindsided by Sarah Nurse on most of these questions sorry Nursey I forgot you existed a little bit hopefully the Toronto girlies don’t tear me apart for that one.
PIMPG Over 1.00 Minutes: Abby Roque (16 votes)
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The certainty of the questions ticks up by one for the next few and as much as everyone believed in MPP being awesome overall, one more person believed in Abby Roque being a criminal on skates and/or overly penalized, I didn’t leave room for that distinction. Tereza Vanišová earned the dubious distinction of second place but only with 6 votes and Emma Maltais earned third with a measly 3. Not a ton of Rookie representation here but I’ll be interested to see if any of this draft class take up this mantle. Also shoutout to the two people who voted Kaleigh Fratkin despite her not playing that’s so real and valid of you.
Save Percentage Over 0.920: Aerin Frankel (17 votes)
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With the most votes of any player for a single category, Aerin Frankel, The Green Monster, love of my life and the blockade of the Boston Fleet, absolutely swept this category. I might have been thinking this in my head, but it’s good to see my Frankel love reaffirmed for the upcoming season because she deserves it all. And maybe a gun if Boston decides to have a few repeat performances from last year (cough two fifty+ save games in a row cough). The goalie questions have an inherently smaller pool so there were fewer surprises because as a certified goalie lover I try to keep tabs on the situation in net across the league. I’m shocked ARD didn’t get as much of a nod here from Montreal fans but suppose the appeal of Montreal is dissimilar to Boston in that regard as you theoretically have a consistent offense.
20+ Games Started as a Goalie: Aerin Frankel (16 votes)
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Honestly I’m surprised Maschmeyer didn’t run away with this question because if it’s who I’d like to see start 20 games and do wonderfully it’d definitely be Frankel but I think with the possible addition of Klara Peslarova Boston shouldn’t be overly reliant on her with Soderburg and potentially Peslarova to back her up. I suppose it might be overwhelming faith in Gwyneth Phillips to be a solid number 2 in Ottawa but she wasn’t that represented in other goalie questions so maybe it was just an oversight considering Masch had the most starts of any goalie in the league last year. More interestingly, I respect the one person who refrained from answering and basically said that there’s so much depth in the league that no goalie will get 20 out of 30 starts. I’m not sure if it’s accurate, but the depth is real so it’s possible.
Billie Jean King (MVP) Nominee: Marie-Philip Poulin (10 votes)
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And now we’re officially back in MPP territory and I’m not gonna spend too much time breaking this down because yeah. If Poulin has a repeat performance from last season and Spooner’s out for a significant portion of the season on LTIR, it’s her award to lose. But let’s look at some of the people you think she has the chance to lose it to. Once again you guys are on the Sarah Nurse train and you know what I support. Seeing the team ratios, lots of Toronto, a smattering of everyone else, no Ottawa, is definitely interesting but I’m not nearly smart enough to make conclusions as to what that means so I’ll leave it up to you to decide. (Something something teams with depth might have less obvious candidates if they’re all kicking in?)
Forward of the Year Nominee: Marie-Philip Poulin (10 votes)
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Wow. MPP for forward of the year, who possibly could have predicted this. Definitely not me. And yes, you all are probably right but that’s not interesting! That’s not fun and cool and interesting so let’s move on. More Sarah Nurse love in this house and I think I can confidently say there aren’t very many of you confident in a repeat performance from Spooner/think her injured status will prevent her from potentially making this list. It’s a bit more prominent but there’s definitely a big Daryl Watts faction of supporters and honestly I endorse this. I might not be a huge Toronto girlie but I always have a soft spot for players who move teams and she just seems like a very easy person to root for. I just hope she doesn’t do too well against Boston this Saturday <3
Defender of the Year Nominee: Ella Shelton and Erin Ambrose (7 votes)
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See isn’t this fun, isn’t this interesting, a tie for first place and none of them are named Marie-Philip Poulin! (ignore the fact she isn’t eligible) Honestly, I think Ella Shelton and Erin Ambrose are the obvious but objectively correct candidates. They were both nominated and both deserving but I think Shelton was a little robbed, after all she was second in points for her team as a defender and fifth yes that’s right, fifth place for points overall. But alas Erin Ambrose is a titaness and also deserved the award so that’s not the point. The point is I think I’m slightly biased towards Shelton between our two winners. As our runners up, we’re really feeling that Sophie Jaques love and I might be anti-Minnesota but I can’t bring myself to be ant-Sophie Jaques. Of course I endorse Keller (Go Fleet!) and can’t say I know enough about the rest of these players defensively to speak definitively on their chances.
Goalie of the Year Nominee: Aerin Frankel (13 votes)
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Peace and love on planet earth there’s not much to say that I didn’t already say in the save percentage or games started section so I won’t dawdle too much here other than to say that there was a little less variation of who you thought would be nominated versus who you thought would have a good season (starting 20+ times, high save percentage). You guys tend to stick with proven goalies, which makes sense and I can’t see any place I’d disagree other than to say I think that if Corinne Schroeder keeps up her save percentage (higher than Soupy last year) and New York lets her see less of a volume of shots (she saw about 31 per game as compared to Campbell’s 24) by actually playing defense, she could separate a bit from the other goalies in the league. I’m always rooting for Aerin Frankel and think she got robbed last year, so if she stays the Green Monster she was last season I think she has a really good chance.
Rookie of the Year Nominee: Sarah Fillier (12 votes)
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This really reaffirmed for me that most of us have absolutely no clue anything about the depth of this rookie class. Of the nine players named, ⅔ of them were the first round of the draft, one of them isn’t even a rookie (Sorry Daryl Watts you won’t be getting this piece of hardware), and Curl and Daniel were second and third round picks respectively. Meanwhile over 20 rookie skaters got points in the preseason games alone and only Serdachny and Fillier from this list got more than 1 point. The rest of those seven players were all but forgotten. And I get it, preseason is preseason, but my prediction is we’ll have a few unexpected standouts who really break out in the league when no one really saw them coming. I don’t think Sarah Fillier will be snubbed with nominations, her preseason hatty proved that she’s coming out on all cylinders, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the other two are people not listed here. We shall see.
Significantly Better Year (Pt/G increased by at least 0.4): Hilary Knight (7 votes)
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Listen, I might be biased as she is the Captain of the Fleet (which sounds so cool and I do need art of her in a pirate uniform immediately if not sooner) but I personally am rooting for a Hilary Knight revenge tour. I think we saw it at the rivalry series and in the single preseason game she graced the ice with her presence, but I think she’s the type of player who underperformed last season and is now prepared to rip the league a new one. This was definitely one of the more varied questions with most candidates getting 1 or 2 votes so I’ll let you make your own opinions though I will say a lot of you are on the Daryl Watts train and think she’ll find her footing in Toronto. My one note is I’m not sure if some of you got the question because there are some candidates here (Sarah Nurse most notably) who had great and/or good seasons (above 0.5 points per game) and going up by 0.4 or more would mean they’d become transcendent players on the same level as the Spooners and Poulins of last season. I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying there’s only so high players can go reasonably.
Involved in a Trade: Britta Curl (2 votes)
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If the last question was a wide field of answers, this was a complete crapshoot. Aside from what I assume are two Minnesota fans hoping to dump Britta Curl on some other team, everyone else seems to be selected at random, so I won’t bother with any conjecture, you can observe and draw conclusions for yourself.
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foopter · 6 months ago
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guys i cant lie… i love charpim and im such a big smiling friends GOON but i can’t take the angsty shit seriously 😭 like the art is fine i think its just the fact that the ones being angsty are a little pink thing and big yellow blob
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honeyconez · 1 month ago
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guys hear me out would painis cupcake pay taxes? Because he’s not like mega insane like ass pancakes I think he’d pay his taxes in my professional opinion.
#I also had a conversation with my friend about if he had to wear a suit why would he#We discussed for a very long while(6 minutes) and the discussion was very enlightening#Slowly turning painis into a functional human in society…#Except you know he eats people that isn’t really stuff normal people do#this is a joke btw#I think he would pay his taxes but if the tax people are rude to him he wouldn’t#I think it really depends#Does he even have any taxes to pay? Because he doesn’t have a job I assume so he doesn’t have any money#But theoretically if he’s like working for another freak and he’s getting paid or something#Idk guys I might be going a little bit bonkers… he’s helping me get out of art block at least#Oh I hope all these tags don’t accidentally show up in another tag that would be bad I’ve seen that happen#I’ve already typed so much though#It’d be funny if there was painis angst because I wouldn’t be able to take it seriously because his name is penis basically#Why am I only saying painis I’m going to tag him anyway#Painis cupcake#there#alright anyways painis cupcake angst would be fucking hilarious imo#My professional opinion#Mmhmmm I’m a professional in being stupid#My friends will call me spedpool on hallowen#I took 2 yardsticks in stem and I pretended to be said guy in the red suit I don’t want to tag him because I don’t want someone to#Find this unhinged rant about painis cupcake that got way off track woah#Ok continuing on the painis rant#I can’t draw him with pencil for some reason he looks so weird#I can draw soldeir just fine with pencil probably even better than online but whenever I try to draw painis he looks like a pile of dog shi#A moist pile the kind that would make steam if it’s cold outside#I feel like it he tried painis cupcake would really be a great functional citizen#Oh wow I wrote a lot my bad
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martinskiseyes · 3 months ago
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#i dont think i will ever be able to tell if im bi or gay or or#shucks mannnn compulsory heterosexuality makes me immediately sick#and in the literal sense too#like i was at my friend's wedding and brought a guy (a friend of mine or acquaintance more like. i just thought he is a good fit for#wedding party. and he was)#but all my friends were immediately like. as soon as he went to the bathroom. they were going ' you should 100% date him'#'he is a good husband material' 'we could finally go on double dates🤠'#right after i felt so sick i thought i was gonna throw up#i mean it might be the alcohol kicking in but i just find it funny that i felt it after they said all that#two of my friends wanted to speak in private with me and were like 'is he..? are u considering him AT LEAST?'#i know they had no bad intentions. quite the opposite but years after years i still get sad (understatement tbh) abt it..#another part of me knows that this is my fault bc i should've just communicated that i am not comfortable about such comments and#that i (surprise surprise) might not be straight! and that this isnt any default sexuality#buuuuuut how do i tell them this when i honestly dont feel like telling them so that i am able to figure things out on my own terms. i mean#one of my friends kind of knows and i never ever said anything to confirm nor deny anything xjhstwfy why is it so hard#on the other hand. yesterday for the first time i kind of got the feeling that it doesnt matter and that either way i will find happiness#SOME DAY maybe and i dont have to say anything and i can just not take their ~advice seriously and go on about my life#mine
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themanwhowouldbefruit · 8 months ago
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my doctor was sooooo fucking worthless and unhelpful im going to masturbate and i hope it fucking kills me
#“no need for follow up”#“yeah you did have several cysts we scrapped off your remaining ovary but. dw about it. idk why they were there. dw about it. oh also your#ovary on that side was freakishly huge but. dw about it. it might go away. dw about it#*doctor shrug emoji* “#“go see a gyno next year maybe. but not me im too important for that. go find and onboard a gyno to your situation. next year maybe idk lol”#he barely even looked at my incision like#this fucking appointment could have been an email. or a phone call. or they just could have let me start driving again. also i forgot to ask#if i can stop drinking ensure now or after the 6 weeks? cause that shit cost $$$$. but he probably would have been super unhelpful if i had#fr fr this guy only wanted to give me the time of day when he thought i might have fun cancer inside and now he's like gtfo!!!! get your#fugly cancerless ass out of here!!!! recover from a major surgery on your own you swagless cancerless loser 🤣 we arent helping your#swagless ass!!!#anyway it seems weird and fucked up that im was never offered to see a physical therapist and i guess am going to have to blindly trust my#abs they sliced thru are healing or whatever and to rawdog my own physical recovery of my muscles? even just dumb shit like. my center of#gravity has drastically changed since the mass removal and my back hurts like shit all the time because all my posture muscles were built up#for when i had an extra 30 pounds of cyst hanging in the front and my posture and walking reflected that. and i lowkey don't know how#hard i am able to be with my healing incision because its really tight and makes me hunch forwards still. like i would really like to know#how much i can safely or maybe should be forcing my skin and incision to stretch. without damage? is that crazy#am i crazy???#this shit is why i didnt see a doctor for 2 years until my problems had snowballed into a 30 pounds ovarian cyst that was crushing my other#organs and had one of my kidneys all backed up with piss. and even getting emergency treatment for it everyone was like. how did you like it#get this bad?? how could you not know you needed to seek medical treatment???? like. bro. seeking medical treatment isnt even a guarantee to#get medical treatment.#anyway he said my “remaining ovary seemed low key polycystic but dw about it. don't quote me on that im not dealing with it.”#bro i dont want to doctor google it i wanted an actual doctor to deal with it. fuck you.#like. maybe even a doctor who knows my situation so i dont have to struggle with getting someone to believe me and take me seriously.#but whatever. back to trying to figure out the daily protein and extra calories my body needs for recovery via doctor google i guess.#its fine 🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬
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stillresolved · 9 months ago
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ferre makes aesthetics ( 1 / ??? ): kang rian gaya
heiress (n.) one. a woman inheriting and continuing the legacy of a predecessor. two. a woman who is legally entitled to the property or rank of another on that person's death.
( photos do not belong to me. credit for oc goes to @geaesaekki​! )
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fallen-gabrielle · 1 year ago
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I'M SO HAPPY YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA GUYS
For some context: the Detective Conan movies never came out in theatres in France until the Scarlet Bullet (that was during the pandemic so I wasn't able to go see it unfortunately). The first five movies were dubbed and came out in DVD, done by Kaze but they stopped and I don't know why actually. Probably because some people thought it was "too violant to see dead animated bodies", even though the french episodes were super censored on the TV. The serie had actually belgian voice actors while for the movies it was french voice actors: so we have two different dubs for the francophonic audio of Detective Conan. Eurozoom (the new dubbing company) hired the original voice actors of the serie for the recent movies and it's great to hear my childhood voices back in present time.
The serie in France stopped being produced around episode 218 (and there's now over 1100), so in 2000. Yikes, we had no french content for Detective Conan for 21 years. I went to watch the Bride of Halloween last year and I brought my sister and bro-in-law for the Black Iron Submarine this year and they loved it, wanted to see the next one.
BUT! Since the francophonic public hasn't heard of Detective Conan for over 20 years (only the die hard fans from its airing days are probably the main remaining fans around here and went to watch the movies), there wasn't a lot of entries for the Detective Conan movies and Eurozoom had announced that they might stop the francophonic dub due to lack of said entries. So I was not optimist for the next movie, and even more disappointed to learn it was going to have Kaito in it.
I need to precise : for the serie (so belgian dub), Shinichi Kudo and Kaito Kuroba are respectively voiced by the same people who voiced Joey Wheeler/Jono-Uchi and Seto Kaiba from Yu-Gi-Oh! and that's the funniest part of the french dub of Detective Conan. Nessym Guetat (Kaiba and Kaito's voice actor) has such an arrogant voice you really want to punch the guy xD It makes his Kaito less likeable than Kappei Yamaguchi's, who has more of a mischievous arrogance in his tone that makes people fangirl over Kid. So if Eurozoom will keep Kaito's original french voice actor, it's gonna be epic !
SO HERE IT IS GUYS, IT'S OFFICIAL, I'LL GET MY FRENCH KAITO NEXT YEAR, I'M GONNA WATCH THE MOVIE BOTH IN JAPANESE AND FRENCH THIS TIME!! i just hope it won't come out in august like this year and we will be able to have the movie slightly earlier cuz i fucking need it so badly
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keeps-ache · 1 year ago
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i don't know what it is but there are thoughts in my brain. more at 11- oh wait it's already 11.. uhh 12. maybe!
#just me hi#hello why am i talking about being wanting to able to sing through sneezes hfsjhbaj#i have not even thought about this for a full day but i wanna do it so bad man#what could it be practically applied to? uhhh the humor and lightened spirits of people around me#that's the best i got! the other is being slightly more annoying because it's still funny lmaoo#'but you hate sneezing' yes but also consider this#.............................#mmm it would be funny lol :>#/seriously though i think out of all the things human bodies do that i dislike/hate sneezing is in the top 5#somewhere below The Oozing but above Placebo#i hate listening to people sneeze. like you know when you hear people breathing too much or chewing too loud? it's so bad man fhvshf#'breathing too much' okay yeah that's one of the sentences i've typed this year HFbvshf#and people scratching themselves. oh my sstarssshfvsfvbbggg#it's Not the same as sneezing or breathing it's just Deeply uncomfortable lol#like please . take your skin elsewhere... thank you <333#and sneezing isn't even Nice !!#MAN. HICCUPS#i get hiccups so often it might be inhumane how often my body decides Okay. We're Feeling Antsy and just Goes to do it's thing#why are you even doing this dude ?? this is not helping our health as far as we know and also it doesn't even feel nice this Sucks fshvsh#but you know what. cheers to that i guess Lol#really why do hiccups feel so uncomfortable ? like my guy you are a Guest. sit down#anyway. apparently i have thoughts on sneezing .>.#//welp! back to baking cabbage water in my brain#it's turning out kind of nice! i thiiiink.. :>#when it turns brown i believe that means it's ripening. come back for more tips from keeps 👍
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