#like i understand there are major issues with the field of psychology and peoples access to care | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

system-of-a-feather · 2 years ago

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Okay I'm home now and I just wanted to once again say genuinely sorry if that post made you feel like shit or anything. I (as a whole) largely internalize and keep a lot of scientific critques on syscourse to ourselves because 1) we don't think anyone is actually stupid or blame anyone for not knowing the details of this stuff cause its not actually taught in schools and most of it you don't really get to know unless you actually get involved in research centers - we are ACTIVELY of the opinion the issue syscourse and the majority of the internet has with understanding the nuances of research is largely at the education system (at least in America) which is something I think I briefly gestured at but did not say 2) we don't want to make anyone feel like shit for something that is more of a social / systemic issue regarding how research is taught and that no one is particularly "bad" because its just so rampant and 3) we are prone to getting burnt out trying to put out information on how things work because of the amount of people who are more interested in arguing than discussing which is a boundary we have to remind ourselves to keep - and so when I read your post and made mine, I was 100% thinking about the backed up internal grumbles about it I've had for years and very very little about your post in specific - which doesn't excuse the vague posting, but I wanted to say it to let you know I ABSOLUTELY do not think bad of you or your blog for that post at all.

Honestly I don't think bad of ANYONE for make the similar error cause its again, a largely systemic issue with how people are taught about science and research. No one can be faulted for not knowing something they were never given access or resources into understanding and from personal experience, a lot of the understanding of how research works is decently hard to get to unless you are engaged in the field to some level yourself so really I'm sorry, I REALLY didn't mean to vague about you or anything. I had a blank moment and forgot what got me thinking and it really really wasn't meant to be targetted. ESPECIALLY the long explanation post, cause honestly at that point I was just excited to be in a good mood and to have the energy to explain my pet peeve of syscourse without it being 95% grumbles.

Now to actually some of the interesting discussion topics (DISCLAIMER AFTER WRITING: I get REALLY rambly so I apologize if its over the place, this is something I am very interested in and I actually have the energy to type about it so XD I have a lot of thoughts and it can be hard to organize it)

if the theory of structural dissociation isn’t actually a scientific theory, then what is it? why is it called a theory if it isn’t one? and is it wrong to compare theories to each other?

No no, it absolutely is a scientific theory that is correct. Psychology is a science and ToSD is a theory - however it's important to take into context what field the theory is of to understand what it means in respects to the field. Generally speaking, the term for theory is used to describe a collection of research and concepts that come together to support an idea that is found to be useful for predicting real world phenomenon. That is the same regardless of field, but its when we talk about the phenomenon that the way they are interpretted / the amount of "grains of salts" you give it change.

Theories in hard sciences are a lot more solid due to the nature of the concept, the replicity and the usually much more black and white nature of the phenomenon measured (time is time, weight is weight, distance is distance; the equation either accurately predicts your ball landing where it says it does or it doesn't and possible room for error is less), proof of replicability (additionally the concepts in more of the hard sciences tend to be very universal - ie given all factors are being calculated for, it doesn't matter if you throw a baseball or a brick, gravity's equations will work regardless), and concrete measures (meters to measure distance, seconds to measure time)

Theories in soft sciences are also held to a higher standard as it is a conglomeration of research, but they are taken and treated a lot more like "popular and predominant hypothesis" than they are solid theories like those in hard sciences. This is due to the fact that with how malleable and innately uncertain psychology is, you can collect a lot of papers and come to different details. This is due to the fact that the phenomenon is often an uncertain and undefined concept (identity is?????? consciousness is????? emotions??? how do we define that????, there is almost always an argument whether or not the science used actually even represents the subject it is trying to study), it is hard to replicate a lot of studies (different populations studied may result drastically different results, different time periods studied may result in drastically different results, often studies take a long time and / or require a lot of resources to run in general let alone repeat *you can read more on the Replicatability Crisis of 2010 in Psychology for more on this*) and lack of concrete measures (how do you measure happiness? do we use self reports? biological reports? what is the correct way to measure it that both accurately represents the measure meant and is objective? its impossible currently to have an objectively best way so most researchers use different methods according to their idea of the best way and it causes issues in comparing data - clinical psych has a jump on it by developing standardized questionnaires and diagnostic methods to systematically measure some traits like the SCID and PCL-5 but even those are under scrutiny of how well they actually depict what they are measuring and again, thus why they are changing)

Because of all THAT when we talk about psychological theories - this applies to ToSD and other theories of memory, cognition, stuff like Freud's Psychodynamic Theory (which we know is not rule of fact but definitely has its merits) that we understand that theory is often more of a hand wave and a brush stroke that is 'close enough' and 'the best we got'. When we talk about psychological theories, there is a much louder inherent 'its probably incomplete and possibly wrong but its what we think currently' than hard science's "we might have some details wrong and it might be an oversimplification but it works for basically everything thus far"

And that is where the problem with comparing it across is a bit of an issue. Hard science theories are "theories" in the sense that while they predict basically everything accurately thus far, there is an asterisk around "may be incomplete or too simplified, but this really works for almost everything tested and if something were to not work on it, it would be a revolutionary discovery and make a lot of professions heads burst" where as soft sciences theories are "theories" in the sense that they are suggestions on how really confusing and difficult concepts to understand and describe objectively work and as a result, it could be widely wrong, but its a solid step in the right direction to getting SOMETHING close to the truth of what is being studied.

I wouldn't say it is "wrong" because yeah, people who just brush it off as a fandom or whatever are in the wrong - it is absolutely backed by science and to discredit it like its a joke is absolutely insulting to the people that spent their life researching and trying to treat it and the information that went into it. Most research tends to agree with it - but personally I actually knew one of the largest name people who researched childhood trauma and memory issues (not going to state her name cause it might dox me some, but those in the know might know; she made it so a lot of people who took their childhood sexual abuse memories to court actually be taken seriously cause she provided sufficient evidence that children DO NOT make that shit up) cause I went to the university she worked at, and when I mentioned the theory of structural dissociation she honestly held back a soft scoff cause the theory itself is based on A LOT of assumptions that are not founded in itself by a lot of neuroscience and neuropsychology and assumes a lot (my commentary not hers: such as the existence of consciousness (which is a really really interesting deep dive)) that to her it was kinda a joke.

That of course is to note that she is in the RESEARCH focused field of developmental psychopathology and not so much the CLINICAL field - so inherently her perspective and view is going to be a lot more critical on how the theory is built up and based on research and less on how well it practically applies. Those in clinical psychology care more about the latter half which is it's applicable usage which is where the ToSD tends to be really really good.

As a "scientific research" ToSD is kind of a joke with how much assumptions it makes within researchers - particularly the more you get into researchers that prefer to take a more "hard science like approach" - but that doesn't diminish that ToSD sets a really good practical application to treatment that even if it is wrong, it is getting the idea good enough that it can help most people well enough.

In my PERSONAL opinion, I think Model of Structural Dissociation would have been a better name - particularly since a lot of clinical research that actually references it describes is a "medical model". I can't quote it cause I honestly don't follow too much into the ToSD cause I am personally more of a research orientated than practice orientated person in terms of psychological phenomenon (and as a result I also kinda scoff at it, but affectionately cause I respect that it is a solid model, just a shitty theory) I honestly think its only called "Theory" of structural dissociation cause thats what it was called on the Haunted Selves Book.

I might not be far enough in my education cause I've never actually taken a dedicated class on modern research on DID or anything, but ToSD isn't actually in most textbooks or anything or really necessarily brought up as a theory really much of anywhere - stuff like skinner and freudian theory are but I don't think anyone in the research field actually takes it as a THEORY.

HONESTLY, now that I'm not rambling about psychology in general, its a really DOGSHIT theory if it claims to be one, but is an excellent model. The thing with models is that they are meant for treatment and navigating / describing how complex systems work and less about being correct.

*was so distracted on explaining differences in understanding research that they never thought about the question itself or to simply just review what current researchers were saying about the concept at hand specifically to see that a large majority literally just call it a model rather than a theory because it HONESTLY is a model*

I'm sorry if this is confusing, I'm literally just infodumping and this is meant to be informative but I'm putting the professionality of infodumping so take this with a bit of a grain of salt as well XD

yikes looks like folks are vagueposting about our tosd post…

we said ourselves in the post that we are not a researcher or professional by any stretch of the word, and never claimed to be! we’re just frustrated with people dismissing the tosd because it’s “just a theory” as if it being a theory makes it easily dismissible.

honestly we wish folks who had issues with our posts would reach out to us about them and let us know where we went wrong… rather than just vagueposting about us ;-; we’re very open to being corrected and want to educate ourselves to the best of our ability! we participate in syscourse so we can have discussions and conversations, not so we can just flaunt our (apparently nonexistent) knowledge!

i guess our question then becomes… if the theory of structural dissociation isn’t actually a scientific theory, then what is it? why is it called a theory if it isn’t one? and is it wrong to compare theories to each other?

like we understand that the tosd is relatively new (with the haunted self published in 2006) and the foundations still need to be built upon. we aren’t saying that the tosd and the theory of evolution are the same thing lol. we just wish that the tosd would be treated as a viable scientific concept rather than a fandom or some nebulous thing with no real-world implications.

here’s our original post if anyone is interested - we’re always learning and growing, and want to do better in the future!

#alter: riku #research posting #syscourse #discourse #riku rambles

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makingspiritualityreal · 3 years ago

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Numerology Life Path 22 - Your Birth Card and its Ruling Planet

Numerology Life Path Numbers and their assigned Tarot Card Meaning Series - Master Number Edition

This is a post in my new astrology/numerology/tarot series, that only concerns you, if you are a Life Path 22. Originally, I wanted to do them all in one post, but my writing turned out to be so long, I decided to split the post and seperate the Life Path Numbers. The introduction part of the post will be the same for all Life Path Numbers, in case you only read a post about your own Life Path Number, and nothing else.

Introduction

The concept of a Birth Card links Tarot and Numerology together, in order to deepen our understanding of a vibration of a Life Path Number we are born with. The Birth Card, or rather Birth Cards, are Major Arcana Tarot Cards with assigned numbers, which correlate with Life Path Numbers. Understanding the meaning of tarot cards, mixed with the knowledge of Numerology Vibrations, helps create a more unique vision of your life experience. A person with any given Life Path Number, having several Major Arcana energies present in their lives, usually struggles with one of the energies more than the other. As a result, life will probably force them to focus on mastering one of these energies. In general, however, any Life Path describes both your biggest downfall and ultimate triumph - just like with an Astrology Chart, the highlighted numbers/astrology houses point to your biggest strengths and weaknesses. For a better understanding of this concept, visit my article “Natal Chart - A map of your issues?” Remember, that everyone, besides their Life Path Number and Birth Card also has a unique astrology chart. Thus, for some people embracing the higher expression of their energy is easier, for others it’s harder and it takes more time to master, and some energies become easier to deal with than others. Most human beings are somewhere in between, working on their path and having some achievements while struggling with difficulties at the same time. In the spiritual community, there are differences in opinion on linking Astrological Planets and positions to specific numerology numbers energies. My take is a result of my own personal experience, conversations with other people in my field and research, in order to give you the widest possible spectrum of ideas and increase the understanding of every Life Path Number. Even If you have only a basic understanding of Astrology, Tarot or Numerology, this post will still be helpful to you, because it describes the unique vibrational mix that comes from the expression of both these spiritual sciences mixed together. To calculate which Tarot Cards and what Life Path correspond to your birthday, click here.

Life Path 22 - The Caring Master Builder

The vibration of a Life Path 22 blends within the energies of the 2 and the 4. This makes it a very sensitive, yet energetically heavy combination due to the mixed influence of the Moon, Saturn and Rahu. Early on in life, this Life Path exists in a state of constant struggle between the mind and the heart, fighting between their compulsive urge for practicality and extreme sensitivity. They can be emotionally unstable or drained, depressed, frustrated and compulsively attending to the same, mundane tasks to regain the feeling of control. That dynamic takes time to get a hold of due to the extremely contradictory planetary energies. The energy of the Moon is sensitive and caring, the energy of Saturn is strict, practical and grounded. It is a difficult task to provide for oneself both the internal high standard, that exists with Saturn, and the gentle touch that the Moon needs to function. The additional energies of Rahu can give this Life Path a very compulsive mind, as Rahu continuously desires to move forward with new details, which throws an extra spark of anxiety on the already fragile mind of a 22 vibration, if that progress can't be provided.

Life Path 11 and Life Path 22 share the intensity of the 2 vibration, however the 2 is more pronounced in the 22 Path, being doubled.

That makes a Life Path 22 struggle on a higher level with independence and extreme emotional volatility. While an 11 in crisis tends to shut down internally and downplay their uniqueness in order to be accepted externally, they don't really let anyone in as they are in self-protection mode, as they are fundamentally self-directed. A 22 however, lacks that self-direction, because they have a different mission in this incarnation. As a result, when distressed a 22 latches on to the nearest energetic source for survival, entangling it and integrating itself into their being. The result of this tendency depends entirely on the environment, that a Life Path 22 finds themselves in.

That is why working for a community is a must for a Life Path 22. The intense, Moon ruled energies of a double 2 need a big, energetic outlet that a group provides, and in the framework of a group they can practice, master, share and unleash their 4 vibration, becoming an invaluable asset to any community they are a part of. A group also fulfils their need for emotional belonging. If too isolated, 22s tend to fall into abusive relationships, due to their deep need to be surrounded by and connected to external energy. Out of desperation to have their energetic needs fulfilled, they can become very toxic and clingy, because unlike the 11, the 22 doesn't have the 1 vibration that forces them to work on their individual self expression. The double 2 creates an extreme danger of putting themselves in the victim position, yet at the same time tying themselves to another willingly out of a sense of survival. A 22 vibration has a very deep need for a solid emotional structure, and the threat of having this structure removed threatens their need for stability, which can make them hold on even tighter even to the most toxic partnership. That type of partnership sucking the energy out of them prevents them from developing the positive 4 qualities, which is innovative, practical achievements. Living in a larger community prevents a Life Path 22 from entering this dynamic. Due to connections formed with many people, the setting disperses the overly intense 2 energy among the crowd and gives this Life Path a sense of safety that they so desire, which creates a good environment for their work.

It is equally important for a Life Path 22 to avoid toxic situations as it is not to demonise their needs and emotions. While it may be difficult to handle a Master Number energy in human society for all Master Vibrations, the needs of this Life Path exist to be fulfilled, just like with everybody else. This Master Number is at most risk to try to deny their sensitivity and emotional needs due to being influenced by the 4 vibration. While an 11 is the most likely to hide with their self expression externally, they understand their needs on a deeper level internally and guard them, and the risk of shutdown doesn't eliminate their acute subconscious self-awareness. A 22 however, can completely push out their needs and desires due to their conflicting desire for practicality, progress and material results. That puts them into a negative expression of the 4 vibration, which is a cliché of a dry, uninspired workaholic who feels empty on the inside and compensates it with practical perfectionism. However, since emotional nurturing is what actually drives this Life Path in life, they can't hold on to this perfectionism for too long, and this dynamic eventually leads them to a burnout, when in the tired state they shut down even from their 4 vibration and they are not capable of producing practical results.

To find out about the birth cards associated with a Life Path 22 Vibration, read my writing on Life Path 2 and Life Path 4, as all those tarot cards will be applicable.

The key word for a Life Path 22 is Balanced. This vibration out of all numbers possesses the most potential to create and nurture an extremely abundant, tangible energy, both from a material and emotional standpoint, however this cannot be accessed without internal balancing of an unstable psychological makeup. This combination can produce an expert, who possesses deep knowledge with a high attention to detail, yet is still sovereign and connected to their heart space. This is a vibration of a scientist, that hasn't lost his compassion and can connect both to their mind and their heart. A mature Life Path 22 uses their skills for physical survival, without closing off their heart, or falling into the other extreme of being emotionally overwhelmed and uninspired. No other Life Path has such a unique skill for community building and providing. This is the additional energy that is produced in this Master Number, that differs from a singular 2 or 4 vibration. A mature Life Path 22 is a rock for the network of connections that they have build, which in turn allows them to thrive within this network and continue developing and sharing their skills.

#numerology #master numbers #life path 22 #master number #numerology master numbers #numerology master number #numerologist #numerology reading for you #life path number #numerology reading #numerological #tarot #tarot cards #tarotcommunity #tarotblr

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newstfionline · 4 years ago

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Tuesday, February 2, 2021

Difficult Times for Flight Attendants (NYT) One flight attendant needed medical attention for a crippling migraine brought on by confronting a passenger who refused to wear a mask. Aviation safety officials have received dozens of confidential complaints in the past year from attendants trying to enforce mask safety rules. The reports, filed in the Aviation Safety Reporting System database, at times describe a chaotic, unhinged workplace where passengers regularly abuse airline employees. The coronavirus pandemic and political divisions of the past year have caused fear, economic pain, and social and family rifts around the country, but for airline workers, and flight attendants in particular, the unease and tension have often converged in a tiny cabin space. The tension is at a level flight attendants have not seen before, said Paul Hartshorn Jr., a veteran attendant and a spokesman for the Association of Professional Flight Attendants union. “I think we’re pretty well trained on how to handle a disruptive passenger,” said Mr. Hartshorn, 46. “What we’re not trained to do and what we shouldn’t be dealing with is large groups of passengers inciting a riot with another group of passengers [over political differences].” “It’s insane,” he added.

Fight The Man: What GameStop’s surge says about online mobs (AP) It’s a fable for our times: Small-time investors band together to take down greedy Wall Street hedge funds using the stock of a troubled video-game store. But the revolt of online stock-traders suggests much more. The internet is shifting society’s balance of power in unanticipated ways. In the world of pseudonymous internet message boards, pranks-gone-wild and logic turned upside down amid a global pandemic, revolts come in all shapes, sizes and aims. Last week they gave us the Great GameStop Stock Uprising. Who knows what this week will bring. “The internet can democratize access, upsetting power dynamics between the people and traditional institutions,” tweeted Tiffany C. Li, a law professor and tech attorney focusing on privacy and technology platform governance. With GameStop, she added in an interview Friday, the goal was to upset the interests of a few large hedge funds. “But in other places the goal can be more nefarious. Online spaces are being used to radicalize people toward extremism, to plan hate crimes and attacks,” she said. “The internet isn’t really the villain or the hero.”

Pandemic Pushes More Parents to Go All-In for Home Schooling (WSJ) As parents grow increasingly frustrated with remote learning during the pandemic, some are deciding to pull their children out of school and try teaching on their own. In North Carolina, the state’s home-school monitoring website crashed on the first day of enrollment, and more than 18,800 families filed to operate a home-school from July 1 to Jan. 22—more than double the school-year before, according to the state Division of Non-Public Education. In Connecticut, the number of students who left public schools to be home-schooled jumped fivefold this school year, to 3,500. In Nebraska, the number of home-schooled students jumped 56%, to 13,426, according to state education officials. “The vast majority [of parents] are saying, ‘We’ve been really trying to do what the schools are asking us to do, but we just can’t do this anymore,’ “ said J. Allen Weston, executive director of the National Home School Association, which has been fielding inquiries on the topic. Vanderbilt University’s Joseph Murphy, who studies home schooling, said “We are in a major shift from how we thought about teaching children and running schools for 100 years. Parents have shifted to the place where they feel they need more direct involvement and greater responsibility for what happens with their children.”

Vaccine skepticism lurks in town famous for syphilis study (AP) Lucenia Dunn spent the early days of the coronavirus pandemic encouraging people to wear masks and keep a safe distance from each other in Tuskegee, a mostly Black city where the government once used unsuspecting African American men as guinea pigs in a study of a sexually transmitted disease. Now, the onetime mayor of the town immortalized as the home of the infamous “Tuskegee syphilis study” is wary of getting inoculated against COVID-19. Among other things, she’s suspicious of the government promoting a vaccine that was developed in record time when it can’t seem to conduct adequate virus testing or consistently provide quality rural health care. “I’m not doing this vaccine right now. That doesn’t mean I’m never going to do it. But I know enough to withhold getting it until we see all that is involved,” said Dunn, who is Black. The coronavirus immunization campaign is off to a shaky start in Tuskegee and other parts of Macon County. Area leaders point to a resistance among residents spurred by a distrust of government promises and decades of failed health programs. Tuskegee is not a complete outlier. A recent survey conducted by the communications firm Edelman revealed that as of November, only 59% of people in the U.S. were willing to get vaccinated within a year with just 33% happy to do so as soon as possible. Health experts have stressed both the vaccines’ safety and efficacy.

As Biden prays for healing, Catholics clash over president’s faith (GMA) On his quest to heal a divided America, Joe Biden may first have to confront bitter division over his presidency from within his own church. Since his inauguration two weeks ago as the nation’s second Catholic president, Biden’s devout Christian faith has become a new flashpoint within the church. While millions of Catholics have celebrated the ascension of one of their own to the White House, some have been publicly questioning whether Biden should be considered a model of their faith. Many Catholic clergy and faithful are passionately fixated on Biden’s support for abortion rights, which the church staunchly opposes and considers an issue of “preeminent” importance. Biden opposes abortion as a personal matter, but wrote in his 2007 memoir that he doesn’t “have a right to impose my view on the rest of society.” One in five Americans identifies as Roman Catholic, the largest Christian denomination in the U.S., according to Pew Research Center. While the faithful have long been divided in matters of theology and politics, Catholic values aren’t exclusively red or blue.

Russia Protesters Defy Vast Police Operation as Signs of Kremlin Anxiety Mount (NYT) The Kremlin mounted Russia’s most fearsome nationwide police operation in recent memory on Sunday, seeking to overwhelm a protest movement backing the jailed opposition leader Aleksei A. Navalny that swept across the country for a second weekend in a row. But the show of force—including closed subway stations, thousands of arrests and often brutal tactics—failed to smother the unrest. By late Sunday evening in Moscow, more than 5,000 people had been detained in at least 85 cities across Russia, an activist group reported, though many were later released. Previously unseen numbers of riot police officers in black helmets, camouflage and body armor essentially locked down the center of the metropolis of 13 million people, stopping passers-by miles from the protest to check their documents and ask what they were doing outside. “I don’t understand what they’re afraid of,” a protester named Anastasia Kuzmina, a 25-year-old account manager at an advertising agency, said of the police. Referring to the peak year of Stalin’s mass repression, she added, “It’s like we’re slipping into 1937.” The large-scale police response signaled anxiety in the Kremlin over Mr. Navalny’s ability to unite Russia’s disparate critics of President Vladimir V. Putin, from nationalists to liberals to many with no particular ideology at all.

In Myanmar coup, Suu Kyi’s ouster heralds return to military rule (Washington Post) Aung San Suu Kyi defended Myanmar’s generals against genocide charges at The Hague. She praised soldiers as they unleashed artillery against ethnic minority settlements. She took only modest steps toward democratic changes that would chip away at the army’s political power. It wasn’t enough. On Monday, Myanmar’s military seized power in a coup, detaining Suu Kyi, elected ministers from her National League for Democracy (NLD) party and others in a predawn raid. Though condemned internationally for defending the military and its campaign against the Rohingya minority, the Nobel Peace Prize laureate who spent 15 years under house arrest until 2010 now finds herself again at the generals’ mercy. The coup underscored the fragility of Myanmar’s decade-old, quasi-democratic transition that many assumed, despite imperfections, would continue with Suu Kyi as head of the civilian government and still-entrenched powers for the military, led by Min Aung Hlaing. But the military was never comfortable with its enduring unpopularity and Suu Kyi’s godlike status among ordinary Burmese, analysts said, despite its role in engineering the country’s opening after half a century of isolationist rule.

Survivors of Beirut’s explosion endure psychological scars (AP) Joana Dagher lay unconscious and hemorrhaging under a pile of rubble in her apartment after the massive Beirut port blast in August, on the brink of death. She survived because of the courage of her husband who got her out, the kindness of a stranger who transported her in his damaged car and the help of her sisters during the chaos at the overwhelmed hospital. But Dagher doesn’t remember any of that: The 33-year-old mother of two lost her memory for two full months from the trauma she suffered in the explosion, including a cerebral contusion and brain lesions. “I lost my life on August 4,” Dagher said. “I lost my house, I lost my memory, I lost two friends,” she added, referring to neighbors killed in the explosion. “I lost my mental health, and so I lost everything.” The Beirut explosion, which killed more than 200 people and injured more than 6,000, caused wounds on an even wider scale on the mental health of those who lived through it. Even in a country that has seen many wars and bombings, never had so many people—tens of thousands—directly experienced the same traumatizing event at the same time. It came on top of the stress that Lebanese were already feeling from multiple crises, including an unprecedented economic meltdown, the coronavirus pandemic and a feeling of helplessness after nationwide protests against corruption that failed to achieve their goals. “There are very high levels of anxiety and worry across the population,” said Mia Atwi, psychologist and president of Embrace, an organization working on mental health awareness and support. “There is a low mood bordering on clinical depression for the majority of the population.”

#headlines #news

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bringing-myself-joy · 4 years ago

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@piakichu I wanted to respond to your response in a fresh post because we started to move away from the topic the op brought up. (For anyone who wishes to read that it is here. It’s just too much to simply summarize.)

Thats definitely true as well. I myself had a big advantage because growing up I always had access to my parent’s healthcare which is pretty good especially when compared to the way other companies treat mental health. And on top of that, I live in NJ so forced conversion therapy was never really a fear for me even with the worse therapists I encountered.

Right now the practice I go to is awesome in lots of different ways. When I started paying for my own bills they were supper helpful and even gave me some pro bono sessions when I had lost my job last year. It’s also one of the more diverse practices I’ve been to, not only with their general staff but with the therapists themselves. And it is absolutely an outlier in the category of mental health care. If I did an exact headcount, the majority of the staff would still probably be white because even if this place was perfect* the overall system is fucked in a way that ends with the majority of its members being white. And when I say majority I mean almost 90%, and each year this trend continues with the new members entering the work force.

So even if the therapist themselves is queer, a white queer person still will never have experiences the same as say a black queer person. And that makes it much harder for the therapy to give that person any benefits at all. The therapist in this example still has all the experiences and biases that come with white privilege making it hard for them to truly understand or sympathize with their client. The client will likely have a difficult time discussing most issues (even if a level of trust is eventually established) because it will always require another level of explanation than it would if their therapist was also black.

And honestly, even and explanation is not good enough. Its likely impossible for a person of color to get the same benefits of therapy that a white person does as long as PoC don’t have the option to pick a doctor who is a PoC as well.

I as a white person will never understand the fear that a black person has to experience while just existing. A few words cannot undo the imbalance of societal power, and no level of imagining will make me able to understand the effects that has on one’s mental health. So how could I possibly give a client the treatment they deserve if I can’t relate to them in that way?

It’s not the same as a therapist treating an abuse victim when they themselves haven’t been abused. If you aren't white in this country your life is fundamentally different than the one the white therapist has had. And this isn’t something that can be taught either, because we’ve already tried that. Cultural sensitivity and general awareness are part of the schooling to become a mental health practitioner, it just doesn't make enough of a difference to be an acceptable solution. Its been shown that white counselors are less likely to actually use these practices than ethnic minority counselors, even when their personal client base is at least 20% made up of PoC.

So what is really needed for improvement is (as with most things in the us right now) is a redesign of the whole system, to allow PoC the same opportunities as white people in the mental healthcare field. And to do that we (white people) have to do our part to be better. Which brings me to the current BLM movement.

I wanted to post this on my mental health blog because white people, even ones who are part of other marginalized groups, have the privilege of getting to being unaware of these kinds of things. And if they are made aware, they have the privilege of forgetting about it, which its not something a PoC gets to do. So, for my followers who are white, please do not forget about this. We can’t allow privilege to blind us to the shit happening around us. Protests have been making a huge difference, we have to keep the movement and the story going even as the news finds other topics to focus on. If you can’t protest, donate. If you can’t donate, share resources and be vocal about your support of our siblings of color. Listen to the voices of color around you.

I know people with mental health issues have a lot of our own personal struggles, but they do not prevent us from helping. There is always something we can do. If you get overwhelmed easily, start small. Pick one thing to focus on, one charity and donate what you can or share it with those around you who can. Or pick a gofundme for a trans PoC or other lgbtq* person trying to reach a donation goal for surgery or safe housing etc.

In addition to this, check on your black friends. Remind you love them and will fight to keep them safe. Call out other white people who use being part of a marginalized community as an excuse not to care or try to help. Black lives must always matter.

Notes/Citations

*I’m sure it has its faults despite all the praise I’m giving it rn, because it doesn't exist in a bubble

**above link takes you to chart showing the diversity of the psychological work force from the American Psychology Association.

***click the above link to be taken to the 2014 article - “Therapist Ethnicity and Treatment Orientation Differences in Multicultural Counseling Competencies” - from us national library of medicine. Def worth giving a read if you have the time.

#op #piakichu #blm and mental health #lgbtq*#mental health community #mental health blog #current events #queer #white silence is violence #therapy #counseling #mental health industry #replies #queer poc #queer white people #white gay #long fuckin post #personal

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corsairlafitte · 2 months ago

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The notion that a disorder will onset earlier due to drug use is an untestable hypothesis. Completely unscientific. There is absolutely no way to determine when a mental illness would have manifested without drug use. It absolutely would have manifested anyway, though, making the whole concern rather pointless.

I find this all especially annoying because of how much ignorance of both schizophrenia and LSD it shows. It relies on this cartoonish idea of what both are like that's all about hallucination when that's a fairly minor part of both. Non-specialists tend to define mental issues based on what an outsider sees rather than the experience of the subject.

Schizophrenia isn't about seeing things that aren't there the vast majority of the time. In truth it isn't even a single disorder, it's a lot of things we only half understand lumped together based on similar treatment paths that are defined by thought disorder. Thought disorder will result in hallucination and delusions, but most hallucinations are auditory and most are voices in the head (rather than actually hearing a false sound) that follow distinct patterns because they are generally a part of the subject's own mind being perceived as an other. Visual hallucinations usually takes the form of existing objects appearing to be something else, is a visual processing error. The real core of schizophrenia is a breakdown of information processing and generation, with speech disorders being a more useful tool for diagnosis. Delusions can be hard to tack down and tend to not be very stable, making them a poor diagnostic tool.

LSD rarely makes a person perceive things that aren't there, especially at typical recreational doses. The kind of doses that will do that are rather expensive, frankly, and few people want to drop $50+ dollars on one trip. The drug removes perceptual filters, causing you to take in an overwhelming amount of sensory data, which causes the bright, wobbly, size-fluctuating effects commonly associated with it. It also increases the amount of memory you can access, which can overwhelm and confuse your thoughts and leave you going down rabbit holes. It also has a clinically noted effect of erasing underlying stress and trauma, and even bad trips can be extremely therapeutic if you deal with what's bothering you instead of fighting it (it being you; the drug only opens up your mind, that's your own inner darkness).

These just are not the same thing.

As for articles, I'll stick with Nature and NIH instead of health central. You can find articles claiming anything, use reputable sources. I studied a lot more psychology at the undergrad and graduate level than one class, including from experts on psychotic disorders, and since have worked with quite a few more with my wife. You're going to hear a lot of things in your classes that aren't really established science. You're going to hear that DID was made up by psychiatrists implanting false memories. You're going to hear that schizophrenia is caused by dopamine imbalance. You're going to hear that the only difference between schizophrenia and bipolar is the country you're diagnosed in. None of these will actually be true despite being based on some real data. Psychology is a messy field.

Just a safety reminder to NEVER try shrooms or LSD if your family has any history of schizoaffective disorders.

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sgtmaveerick · 4 years ago

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Annotated Bibliography

1. García, J. and Murillo, C. (2020), "Sports video games participation: what can we learn for esports?", Sport, Business and Management, Vol. 10 No. 2, pp. 169-185. [Accessed Dec 6, 2020]

This article by Jaume García & Carles Murillo examines three concerns related to playing esports video games: the profile of participants in these games and their interests, their complementarity with traditional sports, and their perception of these games as a sport. The authors aim to contribute to the observed literature on sports video games and esports by offering data using various procedures concerning the notion of esports as a sport. These examinations are accomplished by applying the Survey of Sporting Habits in Spain 2015, produced by the Spanish Higher Sports Council (Ministry of Education, Culture and Sport, 2016).

As an esport gamer myself, I find the article engrossing and informative for my research. Understanding these studies will be useful in my practice as it will help me realise the influence of the expanding trend of esports on the sports industry as well as the video games industry.

2. Roettl, J. and Terlutter, R. (2018). The Same Video Game in 2D, 3D or Virtual Reality – How Does Technology Impact Game Evaluation and Brand placements? PLOS ONE, 13(7), p.e0200724. [Accessed Dec 1, 2020].‌

This article examines the experience of the players of an identical video game played in different modes, 2D, 3D and VR. The three variables the authors focus on for this research are presence, attitude towards the video game and arousal while playing video games. The research also focuses on the effects on brands placed in video games. For this, the authors analyse factors such as attitude towards the placed brands and remembrance for the placed brands.

I find the article useful for my study as it reflects the assessment of video games and the brand placements by analysing players' responses towards a 2D, 3D and a VR video game. This will help me gain knowledge about the advantages and the disadvantages, which I can use to reduce the harm to a game's rating.

3. Kowert, R. and Thorsten Quandt (2015). The Video Game Debate Unravelling the Physical, Social, and Psychological Effects of Digital Games. 1st Edition ed. Routledge. Available at: “https://www-taylorfrancis-com.ezproxy.herts.ac.uk/books/e/9781315736495″.‌ [Accessed Dec 3, 2020]

In this book, the international experts review the latest findings in the field of video games and weigh in on the physical, psychological and social effects of the video games. These authors clarify the questions and topics relating to the health hazard, the benefits, addiction, aggressive behaviours prompted by video games, and/or if we can use them as the learning aids.

I find this book useful for my study, as the authors try to shed light on the facts that have been discussed for a long period of time, yet has no proper argument to support or deny these facts. This will help me learn about topics such as the contribution of video games towards depression and how we can use these video games as teaching aids.

4. Nichols, H. (2017). How video games affect the brain. [online] Available at: “https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/318345?c=12778751367″.‌ [Accessed Dec 7, 2020]

This article by Hannah Nichols examines the evidence focusing on the effects of video games on the brain and the behaviour, and whether these effects are positive or negative. The author shares that more than 150 million people play video games regularly in the United States, of which 72 per cent players are aged 18 or above, and the average age of these players is 35. 71 per cent of these player's parents say that video games are having a positive influence. According to the study, video games have both positive effects (such as better attention, memory boost and enhancing cognitive ability) and negative effects (such as the risk of addiction, and internet gaming disorder). Nichols H asserts this is a fresh area which will require more research, and the topic will continue to be explored. I believe this research is relevant to me as I might find myself working with a studio on a project undertaking these topics and how we might boost this knowledge through video games.

5. Sutton, P. (2019). Weapon Production: Building, Texturing, Lighting. [online]. Available at: https://80.lv/articles/001agt-weapon-production-building-texturing-lighting/ [Accessed Jan 10, 2021].

This article is an interview with Patrick Sutton, who works as an Environment Artist at game development studio 343 Industries. P. Sutton has been a professional modeller for more than eight years now. In this interview, he hands out his reflections on the weapon production which covers modelling, texturing, and lighting weapons for game studios and the things they sometimes lack. Reflecting upon the measures I follow, I'm quite amazed how similar it is. The similarity makes me feel confident and assures I am on the right path to achieve my goal of working with the leading game studios in the upcoming years. One of the most important learning from this interview was the lighting techniques. I've struggled a bit sometimes to properly place lightings to make my model look at its best. Following the tips by P. Sutton, I'm sure I'll be able to overcome this and get myself improved for the game industry.

6. Resenberger-Loosmann, M. (2019). 3D Weapon Art Workflow. [online] Available at: https://80.lv/articles/3d-weapon-art-workflow/ [Accessed 10 Jan. 2021].

Malte Resenberger-Loosmann is a Weapon Artist, currently working as a Freelance 3d artist for Rocksteady Games. I found this article on 80.lv, an industry-leading online platform for game developers, and other artists. In this article, Malte Resenberger-Loosmann shared his workflow and covered loads of aspects such as low & high poly, UVs setup, steps involving Substance Painter, and using Marmoset to render. I developed an interest in this article as I am an aspiring weapon modeller, and we commonly share a keen interest in hard surface modelling. To strengthen my technical skills, I always seek to learn from a professional. Following the methods used by the experts, I believe I'll be able to get myself equipped with a strong portfolio in a brief span. As for my individual technical development, I feel this is by far one of the most important articles I've come across.

7. Luban, P. (2021). Cyberpunk 2077 - Have video games become products like any other? [online] Available at: https://www.gamasutra.com/blogs/PascalLuban/20210105/375732/Cyberpunk_2077__Have_video_games_become_products_like_any_other.php [Accessed Jan 10, 2021].

In this article, Pascal Luban concentrates on the overall quality of the game & the consequences if it doesn't meet the expected level of quality. Luban P. is a freelance creative director and game designer and been working in the game industry since 1995 with major studios and publishers such as Activision, SCEE, Ubisoft and DICE‌. Luban P. feels CD Projekt Red had a severe encounter with the launch of AAA title, Cyberpunk 2077 as it is affected by too many bugs and was unable to function accurately on the latest gen consoles. I agree with the author. Unlike other products, we see the game's deficiency as a part of a player's suffering and find it normal to get a few gigabytes' updates (aka patches) to fix this. But what we don't realise is the loss of the player's playing experience. And this affects a studio's prominence. I find this article helpful as it gives me a game studio's working insight and the consequences a studio might have due to an affected AAA title.

8. Rowe, M.S. (2019). Boundary Work and Early Careers in Design and Media. Poetics, 72, pp.70–80. [Accessed Jan 10, 2021]

This article by Matthew S. Rowe explores the unpredictable conditions faced by emerging professional artists in the creative field. The article highlights the prevalent tension between art and commerce in creative work outlines a cultural difference to which these workers situates themselves to clashing work experiences. An interview of 55 graphics designers & digital media artists was conducted concerning their early-career developments. The findings demonstrate how these artists working in commercial fields use segmentation and integration as a way to define and explain their work experience. The author asserts that boundary work is a very useful theory if one desires to understand the early career experience. I chose to read this article to search and to understand more about the career and its possibilities for me in the future.

9. Zagała, K. and Strzelecki, A. (2019). eSports Evolution in Football Game Series. Physical Culture and Sport. Studies and Research. [Accessed Dec 9, 2020]

This article focusses on the subject surrounding online games and competitions. The authors attempt to studying the esports platform, with an example of the FIFA game series. The study shows the participation of 452 gamers, of which most of them consider esport as an actual sport. During this study, the authors explore the online gaming platform, with around 2.36 billion players in 2018. I feel the development of the gaming industry over the years was justified by the numbers of active players. As an active FIFA player myself, I find this study quite impressive and a great way to learn about the important aspects of a game which keeps a player involved. This will also help me keep up with the current FIFA affairs of the ever-expanding video game industry.

10. Gill Hasson (2019). Communication: How to Connect with Anyone. [online] Available at: https://learning.oreilly.com/library/view/communication/9780857087508/ [Accessed Jan 10, 2021].‌

The author of the book concentrates on communication, one of the most basic & important, yet complex skills of an individual, and the issues that contribute to miscommunication. Miscommunication in the workplace can harm confidence, productivity and the working relationships between multiple departments. Hasson G. emphasis on positive communication, and the ways to recognise and overcome the obstacles of miscommunication. The is an exciting book, especially for someone like me, an international student, where communication plays a vital role in my everyday life. Referring to the book, I feel I can use it to develop myself to avoid miscommunication and be able to communicate effectively & acutely not only today but also once I start working in the future.

#MA #GamesArt&Design #Research and Enquiry #Annotated Bibliography

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spreadlovespeakhope · 4 years ago

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Let’s Talk: Mental Health

I have been meaning to write, but life has been hitting hard for me, and I am sure it has for all of us, given the state of today's world still. I want to talk about mental health, why it is so important to me, and the movement I am trying so hard to push.

I grew up struggling with mental health, self-harm, and suicidal ideations that led to my early 20s. I also work with many youths, and I've heard many stories from those youth that have made me realize that our system on how we handle mental health is broken. We always try to push therapy, the suicide hotline, reach out for support, take a walk, or exercise in the fresh air or even sometimes use mental institutions when things get rough for some. Something I've noticed about all of these things is that they are either flawed or non-obtainable to some. Let us start with therapy and how that sometimes is very unaffordable to many people, given some therapists charge hundreds of dollars, sometimes even 300 for a 45 to an hour session. I want to understand why people do that, and I get that we all must make a living and we all need money to survive, but I have done the math, and I cannot understand why someone would pick a profession to help others and then limit the people they help with a paywall. I did not have access to therapy. I had school counselors, but they did not help when I was younger, and trying to afford therapy seemed impossible. It is hard to choose between your bills and your mental health; sometimes, $100 or $300 goes to groceries or medical bills or maybe rent, depending on where you live. I have heard stories where even parents have had to choose their finances over their child's mental health because therapy was too expensive, and you could see how much that broke them because they want to help the ones they love or want to help themselves. I work with many youths, and I've heard countless times that they go through counties because they can't afford a private therapist and have to use their insurance. Many may often seek help through their county using their insurance, but you may have to fall into the county's regulations and specific standards they follow. If you don't fit those standards by some chance, you don't get the help you need, or you are turned away because you do not meet the criteria. Maybe that is a government issue, or perhaps our system is just broken.

I chose psychology as my major because I want to make a difference and help others. I've been in the position of many of those still struggling today, and I understand the fear, loneliness, and constant feeling of being misunderstood. I also understand how difficult it is to afford therapy. Spread Love, Speak Hope is more than just a nonprofit it is something that means a lot to me and something I'm very passionate about pursuing. While the current goal is to raise money to fund therapy for others who cannot afford it through the sales of merchandise or donations, the ultimate dream is to change how we handle and deal with mental health. My goal as a therapist is to charge $60.00 per hour session with a sliding scale if needed because no one should ever have to wonder how they're going to afford therapy. I also would love to have a center someday where instead of mental institutions, we can use the center as an open and inviting place. If there are instances where someone needs to remain at the center for a few days, rather than being in a room, you are in a space full of love, hope, and understanding. A physical space where you can do art or play video games or sit around and talk to someone just because you need someone to listen. As a kid, I promise myself that I would do whatever I can to make a difference in others' lives, whether it be a stranger, family, friends, classmates, or coworkers. All I ever wanted to do was see people smile, see people happy and see people healthy. Spread Love, Speak Hope is my chance to do that; it's my chance to push the message of love and hope and the message that there is someone out there and there are people out there that are listening, that want to help and want to make therapy accessible and affordable. I spent a lot of time listening, asking questions, and understanding what others need, what I needed as a kid and as I grew up. The next thing I'm about to say might be more of a personal opinion or feeling, but I feel like our system is broken. We push all these things such as anti-bullying days, suicide prevention days, self-harm awareness days, and even have a suicide hotline that we continuously push. Sadly, I had my own negative experiences with the hotline and later found out that many others did as well. I've heard from others that if you call too much, eventually, they turn you away. If you text their line too much, they limit how long they're going to talk to you, or pass you along and give you some number or somewhere else to contact, or they ask a series of questions that are their standards that you have to follow for them to consider you sever enough to help to you. I understand that they're not really trained licensed psychologists, to my knowledge, but why are we pushing something so hard and yet turning down those who need it when that's the only lifeline when therapy is too expensive.

Change starts with us, and I can't tell other therapists what to charge or how to run their practice but you really got to ask yourself why you picked this profession? Was it to help people, or was it money because it's no secret that you can get a college education and charge people so much money to access the knowledge you gained through college. I know people currently in school working towards becoming a psychologist, and they chose the profession because of the money they can make through it. I feel like we've forgotten, or maybe some people have forgotten, the reason for this field or profession. I cannot justify charging someone $300 for an hour session. I can't justify making $600,000+ a year at the expense of someone else's mental health. I asked many people about my thoughts of charging $60.00 for therapy and was told they felt that it would be affordable for many. I guess this long post's point is that I believe that therapy should be for all and not for some, and that's what I hope to accomplish with this movement. The goal of Spread Love, Speak Hope is to be that outlet, to provide that affordable therapy, to provide that safe space, to give that hope, and to show that someone is fighting for you.

You are seen. You are heard. You are loved.

If anyone has read this far, know that I'm genuinely grateful that you took the time to listen and read something that truly is dear to my heart. I hope anyone reading this will consider sharing and spreading this word. Maybe you or someone else who comes along and reads this will consider writing for my blog and talking about mental health. If we start talking about it, people can no longer hide and pretend that the system isn't broken. I want to fight for all those who need it for every person who thinks no one is listening. I'm listening, and I'm going to do all I can to try and make a difference for all of us. If you would like to write from my blog, please check out my website which will be posted below.

If you can consider donating or purchasing one of our shirts, it would be so helpful. All the money goes to funding therapy for those who need it. We also have new designs that will come out in the future this year. Even if you can't donate or purchase something, a share could help us so much to reach others and build our network. If you're struggling to afford therapy, please reach out and contact me, and I will do my best to help in any way I can. Thank you again so much for supporting this movement. I can't begin to tell you what it means to me.

Warm regards,

Spread Love, Speak Hope.

Website: https://www.spreadlovespeakhope.com/

Want to write for us?: https://www.spreadlovespeakhope.com/blog

Email: [email protected]

#Spread Love Speak Hope #non-profit movement #non-profit #non-profit organization #mental health #love #hope #healing #help #therapy #psychology #change

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evalinkatrineberg · 4 years ago

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Unexpected

A/N: Yet another RP with @arin-schreave :)

Life had gone back to normal for the most part since I had left Clemence’s room four nights ago. I had settled back into my routine as if nothing had happened. Wake up early, run, shower, breakfast, read, lunch, study, dinner, relax - wash, rinse, repeat. The monotony of it all was kind of comforting. It wasn’t that I hadn’t enjoyed the ever-changing atmosphere of the palace at all since getting here, but there was a familiarity about having time to myself, to get done what I needed to do. To think.

I had a good bit of thinking to do, and yet, here I was, procrastinating on thinking by working on some summer readings for my fall classes. I had gotten the go-ahead from all of the professors of the classes I had planned on taking to complete their classes online for as long as I was away. The only issue that had arisen was the laboratory portion of my biochemistry class, but the professor had informed me that she was going to reach out to Proctor and see if she could get the lab work I had done under Proctor’s supervision to count for the lab work I was missing out on while I was here. I had thanked my professor profusely for offering to do so, though I didn’t have high hopes that she would succeed. I hadn’t spoken to Proctor since leaving, hadn’t even heard her name since my last phone call with Lukas, but from what I had gathered, she was still rather unhappy with my decision to come here, as well as my decision not to assist her in reaching her non-academic pursuits.

That was one of the things I was trying not to think about. The other was the proposal that each of the Selected were going to have to submit by the end of the week. I had a topic, thanks to my conversations with Itzel and Safiya in the gardens not too long ago, but I wasn’t content with the feasibility of my proposed plan yet. I would’ve felt more comfortable if I could somehow have gotten access to the royal budget, just to see the numbers, but there was no way that was happening. It was for good reason, but at the same time, it was a mild inconvenience. I didn’t want to look like a fool if there weren’t nearly enough funds for my proposal. There was also the fact that I wasn’t sure my proposal was nearly as impactful as it could be. Again, having access to official numbers would have helped me to conceptualize it a bit, but I’d have to go without, I was afraid.

I put down the black pen I had been using, switching to an indigo color to signify a different carboxyl group in my notes as the next song started to play through my earbuds. The light, airy tones of a violin floated through my ears as I finished writing, looking down at the page in front of me. I took great pride in my notes. They were like an art form for me - a way to express myself and organize my thoughts on one neat, lined sheet of paper. My siblings had always joked that I could sell my notes for money, and maybe they had a point - the extra money would also certainly help fuel my caffeine addiction, I was sure - but I didn’t plan on ever following through with it. They were my notes, after all. I was the one who had put in the time and effort. Yet, it was nice to know that other people saw and appreciated that.

I smiled down at my notebook, satisfied at the quality of my work so far today, before sitting up and twisting in my chair, cracking my back. Only fifteen more pages to go by the end of the week! Done with stretching, I reached over for my water bottle, finally looking at the library around me as I took a sip. It was empty, for the most part. The majority of the people living here must have decided to take advantage of the nice weather and spend some time outside. I couldn’t blame them, but I had work to get done, and the peace and quiet was a welcome change.

My eyes narrowed as I looked to my right. I wasn’t alone, after all. There was Arin, emerging from the stacks with a book in hand. His footsteps were light - almost silent - as he walked towards the door, like he didn’t want to be seen.

I frowned. Would it be worth it to say anything? What good would come of it? If he didn’t want to be bothered, me saying anything would likely just put him in a bad mood, and yet, that possibility in and of itself sounded kind of entertaining to me. He had made it pretty clear when we had last spoken that he didn’t want us Selected girls here, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t enjoy myself while I was here.

I took out one earbud, intent on keeping my voice quiet, as we were in a library, after all. “Hello.”

His shoulders tensed up at the sound of my voice, despite my low volume. Did he think someone was going to attack him in the library, or something? Why would a potential attacker even greet him to begin with? Any good assassin would stab first and ask questions later, in my opinion. It only seemed rational.

His shoulders fell as he looked over his shoulder and caught sight of me. “Hi, Evalin.”

His startled expression set me laughing for a brief moment. I’d never seen him caught off guard like this, even when I had literally collided with him in the hallway. It was kind of refreshing, actually - like it made him more human, somehow.

Composing myself once again, I paused my music and took out my remaining earbud, gesturing with my free hand towards the book he was holding. “Doing some light reading?”

He paused for a moment, sizing me up with his eyes, as if he was debating whether or not to respond. I had to admit, that stung a little bit. After a few seconds, though, he lifted the book he was holding, waving it through the air in a small motion. “A bit.”

“Anything in particular?” I put one of my pens in the spine of my textbook, which was sitting open on the table, to mark the page. I could come back to biochemistry later, I supposed. Turning to face him, I swung my legs towards the side of my chair, crossing my left leg over my right.

He hesitated for a second, but then took a few steps towards me. Why was he acting so cautiously? Is he afraid of me? The thought almost had me laughing again, but maybe I was on to something. I could understand if he might think that I was upset over what he had disclosed to me in the hallway when we had last seen each other.

That was one of the other things I had been trying not to think about.

“Systems of Necessary Authority and Power by Ian Mondeli,” he answered, glancing down at the book in his hands.

“Ah, I see,” I replied, nodding slowly and pursing my lips. The name of the book was familiar, though I was certain I had never read it. It sounded like something off of the syllabus of a political science course, but I had never taken one, so I didn’t know for certain. Sure, we had to take two social science classes as a general education requirement at my university, but I had elected to fulfill that requirement with history courses. History was almost straight memorization, which I could do well. Plus, it was more interesting to me than most other social sciences, and didn’t encourage the same level of introspection as a course like psychology.

Still, maybe I could use this as a talking point. I had been telling the truth when I had told Arin that I would like to get to know him better. “Are you a fan of nonfiction, then?”

He nodded slowly, taking a few more steps towards the table. “Yeah, I guess I am.”

“Me too,” I responded with a sheepish smile. I enjoyed some fiction, sure, but even as a kid, I would beg my father to buy me books about topics such as dinosaurs or marine animals, instead of just reading one of the many fiction novels my siblings had offered me. Political science was quite different from dinosaurs, though, I mused as I glanced back at my notebook for a moment. Maybe he did have an interest in other topics, though. The only way to find out was to ask. “Though I assume you tend to stick to the social sciences?” I looked up at him, inclining my head slightly to the right, bracing my right arm on the back of my wooden chair.

“It depends. It’s good to know about different subjects.” He set the book on the table, taking care to make sure that it didn’t make any noise, and that the edge of the book was perfectly lined with up with the edge of the table. It was oddly particular. So he likes things done a certain way, then. Maybe.

The fact that he had other interests outside of political science and its related fields shouldn’t have surprised me as much as it did. He was human, after all. It was only natural for him to have a wide variety of interests and hobbies. However, every time I had inquired as to what his other interests might be, he had brushed me off. I hummed thoughtfully, looking at the book and wondering if this might be my chance to finally get to know something more about what he was interested in. I turned my gaze upwards, meeting his eyes once again. “Such as?”

He shrugged. “Anything. Everything.”

Okay, so, my mission had been unsuccessful after all.

I rolled my eyes at his non-answer, still smiling at him, though. Maybe a joke would work, then. “Mm, somehow, I have a hard time picturing you reading about math.” I picked up one of my other pens, tapping it lightly against my chin as I attempted to imagine him reading Fermat’s Last Theorem. The mental image fizzled out before it ever focused, though, like even my subconscious knew there was no way it would happen.

“Well, it’s a graduation requirement at all schools, so…” he trailed off, rocking back and forth on his heels.

So he actually did his assigned readings, then. I raised my eyebrows at him, before I realized that him doing the readings for classes made a good deal of sense, assuming he did actually enjoy reading nonfiction. Course syllabi must be like a free list of book recommendations to him, then.

“True, but most math classes tend to focus on problem solving instead of theory. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course! It’s a useful skill.” And problem sets are more fun than memorizing theories, anyway. My eyes were drawn once again to the book he had set down on the table, and my curiosity got the better of me. “Dare I ask what that’s about?”

He hesitated once again, looking down at the book as he answered. “It’s about the caste system.”

Ah, so maybe that was why he hadn’t wanted to be seen then. What was he doing reading about the caste system, anyway? Proctor’s parting comments to me nagged at the back of my mind, but I tried my best to mute them, raising my eyebrows a bit at him. “Oh, neat!”

I probably sounded way too intrigued for my own good. I was tempted to explain myself, but I nixed the idea, deciding it was better to stay quiet. How many times had my mouth gotten me into awkward conversations since I had been here? I had lost count.

He didn’t seem to notice or care, though, simply nodding as he shoved his hands in his pockets, glancing over at my books. “What are you reading?”

Ah, that. I laughed once lightly, my head angled down as my eyes peered upwards at him. “My biochem textbook.” God, it sounded so lame. Who read textbooks - besides me, apparently? “Pretty dry content, I’m afraid.” I bit my lip, more curious as to why he was reading out the caste system than I was willing to explain glycolysis to him. My own curiosity began to mingle with Proctor’s words in my mind, but still I kept my mouth shut. It was too dangerous of a topic. I shouldn’t.

“Ah, well, you’ve got me there.” He nodded again, a slight frown forming on his face as he continued to look at the textbook.

I nodded once. I couldn’t take the awkwardness of this conversation anymore. If it was going to be tense, I might was well make sure my own yearning to know more was satisfied, for the sake of me being able to sleep at night without the questions lingering in my mind. I gestured towards his book, asking, “So, what made you choose that book in particular?” An innocent question. Nothing more. Nothing treasonous about it. Yet, I could feel my heartbeat picking up.

His gaze shifted from my book to his as he considered my question for a moment. “The author has some very interesting opinions - but I’ve read it already.”

“Interesting,” I mumbled under my breath, furrowing my brows as I studied the cover of the book again, making a mental note to look into reading it at some point. It looked pretty innocuous - plain cover, typical fancy lettering - and yet the book seemed to give off a sinister air. I had to be imagining it.

I looked back up at him again, smiling. “It’s nice to re-read books sometimes - to look at them again with a different perspective.”

“Yeah, it can be,” he answered with a nod, watching me for a moment before looking away.

Don’t think I didn’t notice that, Arin.

I followed his gaze, narrowing my eyes slightly as I turned my head. I had been expecting to see someone else coming our way, or at the very least, something of interest, but the library appeared to be empty, besides the two of us. What was he looking at then?

I felt his stare on me once again, and looked back at him in time to see him blink once. Right, it’s my turn to speak. “So,” I began in a ploy to buy myself some time to think of something to say, of what direction to take this conversation in. Clearing my throat, I considered my options. The caste system or biochem appeared to be my only two choices, judging off of what was on the table. Biochem was familiar to me. I didn’t need to hear his opinion on that. I brushed my hand over my notebook and looked back up at him, my mind made up. What was life without a little risk, anyway?

Less stressful.

“Do you ever wonder why the caste system formed in Illea, but not in other countries?” Was this too far? No, calm down! I looked down and shook my head, as if I could knock my fear right out of my brain. It was clearly something he was interested in, which should make it fair game. “I mean, maybe it’s only crossed my mind because my grandparents are from Swendway, and they’ve never really understood it, but…” I trailed off, unsure of where I had even planned on going with this.

He sighed, and immediately something in my chest fell. Maybe he hadn’t been that interested in it after all. However, he then came around to the edge of the table, leaning back on it as if he wanted to take a seat without fully sitting down. Looking down at me, he stated, “It’s a complicated issue.”

“Right.” Was he talking down to me? Bold of him to assume that I was incapable of wrapping my head around anything that wasn’t a science. I avoided social sciences and humanities because other topics interested me more, not because I couldn’t comprehend them. I looked up at him, tapping my pen against my chin again one more time. “I’ve gathered that much from the history courses I’ve taken.”

His head tilted towards the side as he watched me, considering what I had just said to him. “And what did they teach you? Other than that it’s complicated.”

I looked to the side, trying to dredge up as many details as I could from my memory before looking at him again. “I know it started after the first war with New Asia.” I could remember nothing after that, though, and not because I had forgotten it - I was sure of that much. I frowned. “Professors never really explained much beyond that. They were always pretty vague about it. To be honest, I don’t even know how my grandparents were -” I searched for the right word “- assigned, I suppose, their caste when they immigrated here. I would assume it was based on occupation, but…” I didn’t want to finish my sentence. Maybe he had been right - not in talking down to me, but in recognizing that this really was something I knew very little about.

Maybe I should’ve listened to Proctor a little more closely.

The thought sent chills down my spine.

He raised his eyebrows at me, unfazed by any visceral reaction I may have had to my own thoughts. “Well, we have a lot of good history books in here.”

I hesitated for a moment. Between him and Reggie, I might just have hit the book recommendation jackpot. “Can you recommend a few?”

He peered over at my textbook as he nodded. “If you want.”

“That would be great thank you. Of the social sciences, history was always my favorite.” I was still looking at him, but he didn’t seem to be paying attention at all, completely enamored by whatever had caught his attention in my textbook. Surely he wasn’t that interested in protein synthesis.

He nodded once more at my words, squinting at the small font of my textbook. Was that genuine curiosity I saw on his face? I followed his line of sight, trying to figure out what part, in particular, he was reading. Did he find my biochem textbook more interesting than me? I wanted to laugh, but I cleared my throat instead. “If you want, the notes I’ve taken might make more sense than the book itself.” I gestured to my notebook, my color-coded molecule drawings seeming to smile back at me, surrounded by little blurbs of text with the necessary facts and formulas, any words that required definitions highlighted.

“I’d…” he paused, looking at me and frowning a little, “appreciate that.”

Well, it was something. I pushed my notebook in his direction, offering him a small smile as I did. This was certainly not how I had ever pictured my note-taking skills coming in handy. My siblings were going to have a field day with this one.

He picked it up gingerly, as if it might break under his touch. Good. I had worked hard on those notes. He had better not wreck them. I watched as he began to read, a look of genuine interest plastered on his face. We sat like that for a few minutes, him flipping through the pages and me just watching him do so, until he eventually paused on one. Turning the page to face me, he pointed to one of the drawings and asked, “What does this mean?”

Well, this was my time to shine! I took a quick glance at the diagram he had pointed to, my smile growing immediately. “Oh, okay, so that parts about DNA mutations! This is actually related to what I used to work on in the lab.” This could not be more perfect! I began to explain each diagram, pointing to them one-by-one in turn. “That first one is insertion or deletion, which is basically when one or more nucleotides are added or subtracted within a sequence of dna. The second one is point mutation, which is one when nucleotide is changed - like if an adenine turned into a thymine. The third is translocation, which is the movement of one segment of dna from one chromosome to another. That last one at the bottom of the page is inversion, which is essentially just a 180 degree flip of the DNA, so it’s basically reversed to what it was originally.”

He blinked, and I could see through his eyes that the wheels within his brain were turning in overdrive as he tried to process what I had just said. “You’re really smart.”

I looked down at the table, my face turning red as I tried to keep myself from laughing at his oh-so-intelligent response. Fidgeting with my hands in my lap, I waited until I was sure I could speak without snickering, and then looked up again, offering him a smile. “Thank you.”

He turned back to my notebook, continuing to read through the pages. I couldn’t help but wonder what in particular he found so interesting. He seemed a tad confused by the science, so was it the notes themselves then? Did he like my handwriting, or maybe the care I put into each page of notes? My organizational skills were definitely on good display, at the moment. Maybe he was impressed with that. God, I wished I could read his mind as I peered over at each page he scanned over, my focus alternating between that and his face, searching for any sign of recognition or questioning.

“Aren’t you usually the one who asks me why I’m staring?” Ah, crap, he had caught me. He was looking right at me, in fact.

“Yes, I am.” I let out a breathy laugh, feeling the tips of my ears turn red. “I’m just a little surprised that you’re interested in this, is all.”

“Why's that?” There was no malice in his words or face, just genuine curiosity.

I frowned as I considered his question. “I guess it’s just never come up before. Plus, most people I try to explain this to tend to blank out once I start talking - you know -” I began to gesture with my hands as I spoke “- the whole, blank face, glazed-over eyes look.” I laughed lightly, even though the more I thought about it, the more upsetting the truth became to me. Most people just didn’t care to hear what I had to say on the topic. With people outside of my major, the complaint was that I was showing off, or that I made no sense. When dealing with other biology students, I found that I was very rarely taken seriously, or had to justify every thought and idea I voiced aloud, and at that point, everybody had already moved on to some other task.

He ran his fingers over a line of words I had written. The gesture felt intimate somehow, and had my stomach doing cartwheels, as if he was touching my arm or something, instead of only my notebook. Why? “And did I do that?”

“No, not at all.”

He blinked, his eyes widening for a fragment of a second. “Well then, maybe I'm not as bad at acting as everyone said, because I didn't understand a word.”

Oh. Ouch.

I laughed it off, trying to rationalize what I had seen from him with what he had felt. “Understanding and listening with interest are two different things, and the fact that you didn’t understand probably reflects more on my poor teaching skills than anything else.”

“Evalin.” I could’ve sworn my name was accompanied with a sigh. He looked over at his book, and then back at me.

I looked right back at him. “Yes?”

He opened his mouth, words on the tip of his tongue, when my notebook slipped out from his hands, tumbling across the floor.

“Smooth,” I teased, laughing at him as I stood up. Within the span of a few seconds, I had walked over to it and picked it up, my eyes on his as I made the walk back to my chair. “You were saying?”

“Thank you,” was all he said as he took the notebook from my hands. Not done with it yet, then. Interesting. Before I could retake my seat, he added, “You didn’t do a bad job.”

“Oh.” The corners of my lips tugged upwards in a small smile. That was oddly nice of him to say. My thoughts lingered on it as I smoothed out my dress beneath me, taking my seat again and recrossing my legs before looking back up at him. “Thank you.”

He stared at me again, his expression similar to the one that had frustrated me with its elusive meaning every other time we had interacted, but there was a little something more to this one. It was as if he was seeing me for the first time - all of me. It was like I was finally more than just an unwanted guest in his home, more than just some girl invited here for the sake of tradition, from his point of view. I followed his eyes as they moved from my hair, to my own eyes, and then down towards something a little lower on my face.

My lips? Oh, God.

Suddenly I was fifteen years old again, sneaking my brother Gabriel’s friend out to our backyard, leading him behind the oak tree by the shed, and asking him to kiss me. He had been my first kiss. I hadn’t realized it at the time, but it really hadn’t been a very good kiss. It had been sloppy, and rushed, but absolutely exhilarating at the same time. It was a part of my teenage years that I’d always looked back on with nostalgia.

I was eighteen years old again, attending my first college party, a little tipsy for the first time ever, the warm August air mingling with the heat of the bodies around me. June and I had moved to the back deck of the house, an empty beer bottle in her hand. A few people followed us, including a few rather attractive boys. I spun the bottle. I lost track of how many times I had kissed and been kissed that night, more drunk off the rush of someone else’s lips on mine than on actual alcoholic beverages.

I was nineteen years old again, at a Christmas party in the lab. Lukas and I had walked in together, as we almost always did. Someone had hung a piece of mistletoe over the doorway - a trap laid just for us, I was almost entirely certain. “Kiss!” they all yelled at us. Lukas had shrugged, his eyes fixed only on my lips as he had closed the distance between us faster than I could even think. I had allowed him a little peck on the lips before I had jerked away. I had felt nothing, except embarrassment. It had meant nothing to me. I had never told anybody about it.

I was twenty years old, and the prince of Illea was looking at me like he wanted to kiss me.

I tilted my head slightly to the side, smiling back at him. Maybe I was overthinking this. Maybe I wasn’t. Either way, I couldn’t get enough of the way he was looking at me. I wanted to capture this image in my mind like a photograph and hold on to it forever, a memory in a shoebox that my grandkids would find one day.

I stared into his eyes. “What is it?”

His expression didn’t change in the slightest. “What’s what?”

So we were playing this game again. I leaned forwards a bit, placing my arms on the table. “Nothing,” I answered, shaking my head, my smile growing every so slightly. Maybe I had been imagining it, but I still wasn’t so sure of that.

“You’re staring at me.”

Indeed. I raised an eyebrow at him, retorting, “You’re staring at me, too.”

“Am I?”

Very much so. “You are,” I informed him, chuckling lightly and nodding once.

“You don’t seem annoyed by it this time,” he mused, his eyes still on my face.

I had to laugh a little at that. “A very astute observation. Are you bothered by it?”

“Hmm?” He moved a little closer, clearly at least a little spaced out.

He was staring at my lips again.

“You’re hopeless,” I informed him, chuckling. Clemence had been right when she’d said as much, but I didn’t think she had quite pictured this scenario when she had called Arin hopeless.

“About?” His eyes met mine again.

Now I was the one looking at his lips, my one-track mind useless as all of my brain power was channeled into imagining what it might be like to kiss him. I had a gut feeling he’d be a good kisser. Maybe it was instinct, maybe it was the look of his lips, or maybe it was my own naivety that led me to believe that - I didn’t care. I had to conduct an experiment to draw a conclusion on the matter, if he would let me.

I laughed, meeting his eyes again. “Are you going to make your move, or are we just going to sit here?”

His eyes went wide at that, his mouth fluttering open and closed like a fish out of water. “Evalin, I -” He didn’t finish the thought. Fuck, maybe I had read the situation wrong.

I raised an eyebrow at him, still smiling. All my doubts dissipated as he leaned in closer, keeping his eyes on mine for only a moment before looking at my mouth once again. The anticipation was killing me, but I refused to be the one to make the first move. I had to know that he wanted to do this, to kiss me, not just to be kissed by the first girl he had happened to run into. God, did I want him to kiss me, though. I leaned in a bit, my eyes focusing only on his mouth as the distance between us shrunk with each passing heartbeat. So close. So fricking close.

He finally closed the distance, leaning down and planting his lips on mine as he placed one of his hands on the back of my head, the other still braced against the table. His lips were just as soft as I had imagined them to be. The realization filled me with no small amount of satisfaction, but that was washed away as I closed my eyes, kissing him back, moving my hands to his shoulders, my fingers resting against his back. My mind shut down, my body going on autopilot for moments that seemed to last an eternity in the best way possible.

He pulled away first, lingering for a few seconds before leaning back a bit. I opened my eyes to see him staring at me breathlessly, a smile growing on my own face as I watched him in return. I knew my own breathing was a little heavier than normal, but I didn’t care. That - that kiss - had been amazing, indescribable, really. It had left me at a complete loss for words, my mind still empty as we held each other’s gazes.

This. This had been what I hoped for when I had filled out the application for the Selection.

I had never been more glad that I had.

He leaned back a little further, opening his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but he couldn’t yet form the words. “I-”

I exhaled lightly, my smile only growing. “Yeah.”

We sat like that for a few more minutes, simply drinking in the sight of each other, attempting to reboot our own brains and form a coherent sentence. I had never been great with words, but they had never been this elusive, either.

I leaned back now, the gears in my brain turning once more. “I, uh…” I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did.

“I should have asked,” he stated with a frown, leaning back even more.

I wanted to agree, but I had also clearly invited him to kiss me. Or at least, I had thought I was pretty clear. I shook my head. “No, it…” He’s right, though. He should have asked. “Don’t worry. Sorry if I didn’t make it clear enough that I was okay with it.”

“Don't apologize.” Right, we had talked about that a few night ago. Now it was his turn to shake his head.

“Right, well…” I trailed off, narrowing my eyes at him as I tried to find the right words. “Don’t you apologize either, then. No apologies are warranted in this situation.” I let out a single laugh, my eyes searching his face for any clue as to what he might be thinking. Did he not enjoy it?

He kept his eyes on me for only a brief moment longer, and then pushed himself off the table, bending over to pick something up. Oh, we must have knocked something over when we were kissing. That was only mildly embarrassing. At least there was nobody else here. When he stood up, he had my notebook in his hand, which he held out in my direction wordlessly.

“Oh.” My cheeks were flushed red at this point, and a nervous laugh accompanied my words. “Thank you.”

“Here you go.”

A little late to the draw there, Arin.

“Right, thanks.” My fingertips brushed against the bare skin of his hands as I grabbed my notebook back from him, my cheeks flaring red again as I slowly pulled my arms back, pulling my notebook into my chest. What to say in a moment like this? “So, uh,” I tried, clearing my throat, “that happened. Nice.” Another nervous laugh escaped my lips before I added, “Um, we could do it again, sometime - if you want to, of course.” The words left my mouth in one rapid-fire jumble, a succession of waves quickly crashing over each other as they raced to leave my mouth.

Earth to Evalin! Get your shit together!

He looked lost in thought, but he nodded. “Yeah, sure.” He began looking around then, though for what, I had no clue.

I couldn’t control my face from falling. Had it been that bad, for him? I didn’t think that was possible. Worse, if he didn’t realize where he was, was it because he was picturing someone else, in another place, when he had kissed me? What had I done?

“Right, well,” I began, fidgeting with my hands in my lap as I looked down at the table, “I uh, didn’t mean to keep you from your reading. Though, this was a very welcome study break.”

“Evalin?”

So, he knew who I was then, at least. That was good.

I looked up at him, a small close lipped smile on my face. “Mhmm?”

His smile was nothing short of shy as he said, “Thank you.”

I blinked. “You’re welcome?” I had never been thanked for kissing somebody before. That must be a good sign, right?

He quickly stood up then, straightening his tie and walking around to the other side of the table. I followed suit, gathering up my own books and pulling my backpack out from under my chair. How many times had I run into Arin when I had this backpack on me now? Twice? Once was random, twice was a coincidence. Were we aiming for a third? I kind of hoped so.

“That was nice,” I said earnestly, looking up at him as I zipped my backpack. Then, pushing in my chair, I decided to go for it. “So, see you around, I guess?”

He nodded. “I’ll see you around.” He walked towards the door of the library then, pausing in the doorway to give me one more nod, before exiting completely.

A few seconds later, I left as well, my thoughts still an incomprehensible, garbled mess of emotions and exclamations. Had that actually happened? I must be dreaming. Yet, if I wasn’t…

This might have just been my best day here so far.

#selectionoc

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scriptlgbt · 5 years ago

Note

hey i saw that youre not taking mods under 18 but i think i could do a good job. im 17 in one month and i am really ok w seeing asks abt sex, considering that this is a writing advice blog i dont think there will be anything bad. i feel like 17 year old ppl and exactly 18 yr old ppl dont have that much separating them, and the ability to handle Sex Stuff really doesnt have much to do w age. u could make a sideblog for sex questions too. anyway can i still apply

In the kindest possible way, we are not going to budge on this. We are not making a sideblog for this purpose either (aside from it being not part of the ScriptFamily protocol to do something like that, it would not be enough, as this transcends even separating minors from sex questions).

It matters that you understand why this matters to us.

When I posted the application, explaining that the issue is about sex questions was a convenient summary that didn’t require TWs. The fact of the matter is that nearly every time we have made a statement that should be universal and obvious (like: necrophilia and pedophilia are bad), we get asks in retaliation that we ethically cannot post. That aren’t warned for and can be traumatizing, and are triggering sometimes for some of us.

A minor does not have the same level of support that people above 18 do. Even though I was paying my own rent and supporting myself in full at 17, I still wasn’t legally allowed to do most things without my parent signing off on it. Even with things that I legally had a right to access, they were still frequently barred from me because most people didn’t understand that. And I didn’t have the kind of power or sway in the world I would have needed if I’d had to deal with getting some of the asks that we get here.

This has also been discussed with the mod team and was a unanimous thing. Because this is a new rule, we had mods in the past who were under 18 when they started on the blog, who have since retired (for an array of reasons), who agree that we shouldn’t accept minors as moderators. While being 17 and 18 don’t feel very different for you, it matters for a lot more reasons than just psychologically. If it were just about psychology, I might even suggest raising the number higher.

Along with this, one of the qualifiers for people to be able to join a ScriptBlog is that we would be confident in our ability to answer questions on the topic as an expert witness in a court of law. (Think like, a scientist being asked to take the stand to explain the nuances of certain drug interactions, studies on the subject.) And being able to be cross-examined and have your research and expertise be questioned. Being able to answer questions with the quality of an expert in the field.

In this case, the field is LGBT+ topics and studies. Including our histories, medical issues, sociological determinants of health, subcultures, intra-community issues and dynamics, legal issues, prominent figures, how colonial forces impact gender, how to research LGBT+ historical figures (and what kind of coded language to look for and sometimes why that language was used), etc.

Being LGBT+ alone qualifies you with a lot of expertise, but we often get asked the kinds of questions that most researchers at the front of these topics haven’t even looked into yet. Sometimes, I have to use translators to access textbooks from 1920s Germany (bless the Hirschfeld Institute for having repatriated books online) just to answer a given question. It’s finding firsthand documentation, it’s reading textbooks and understanding what those textbooks say, and being able to develop your own independent idea of something because you’ve taken enough references (including your own firsthand experience) into account. It’s feeling qualified to write textbooks, even if just in theory.

Not that one person can know everything, but just as an example, I can list a bunch of names of Two-Spirit activists who I have learned certain things from, so I can refer people asking on certain topics where to go. I know that binarism is a colonial force of asserting a white colonial gender binary. That knowledge isn’t something that comes up on the first page of Google. (*cough* This was in the application and most people who answered it, got it wrong! But if you know this was you, you can totally go back to the link and edit your answer.) I know these things because I’ve done relentless research, over the course of years. I’ve been interviewed by Xtra (a gay paper, the gayper if u will). I’ve had a Medium article on my trans body experience selected by the editorial team at Medium as an article they wanted to hire someone to do a voiceover of.

These are just accolades. We don’t ask about accolades in the application, we ask what you know. We’re not asking what awards you’ve won for activism, we’re asking what you can advise on.

While I understand that young prodigies exist, that’s just not the norm. The majority of us are not experts in any field at 17. Or 18.

But we have to draw a line somewhere, and 18 is a minimum that falls in line with a lot of other important things. So it is the line we draw.

- mod nat

#Anonymous #mod nat #mod post #why can't I apply?#it's not that you aren't the expert on your own experience #it's not that we don't think you're tough and capable #it's that your mind is still developing hardcore and we don't want to put you in the line of traumatic fire #especially when you have no resources to put said fire out #I believe in you and your capability to acquire knowledge!#one day you may be ready. but alas #'tis not this one #lgbt #lgbt history #lgbt studies #I'm not trying to say this to intimidate people away from applying also #chances are you can get a handle on your qualifications based on your ability to actually fill out the application #since it's kind of a test in a way and if you can answer a bunch of those questions with confidence that's a big deal

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mattattack64-blog · 4 years ago

Text

Hey y’all! I would really appreciate it if y’all could help! Here’s my email for e-transfers [email protected] if you’re feeling extra generous! I’ve been trying so hard to find a job, but it’s been quite tough considering that my queerness sometimes gets me in trouble. I almost got a job at a taco shop, but because I called the manager out for being frantic with customers and employees, he decided to not hire me on. It’s been a hell of a year and I wish people weren’t, so homophobic and Machistas. I’m sorry I have confidence and assertiveness without being aggressive or arrogant. I think we need to make workplaces less of a hostile and docile environment by connecting with queer people and understanding their need for an inclusive work space! Also here’s an essay I wrote for my Sacred Medicines course! It describes what my work entails and will bring to Turtle Island.

Essay about my journey:

The Journey of A Shaman

My Story of Decolonizing on Stolen Lands of the First Peoples of Canada through Accessing Aztec and AfroBlackfoot Ancestry of Indigeneity From Practicing the Art of Medicine:

The History of Turtle Island is filled of stories of genocide affecting Indigenous Peoples communities and cultures. Mine is one of many told in Central America of Conquistadors who bestowed missionaries that would change the villages that relied on local foods and medicines of Mayan, Aztecan, and Incan descent, into a colonial way of being. Instead their peoples and cultures found themselves at the foot of extinction during the 1400s-1900s on Turtle Island, due to settlers' greed for land. The lands were filled with Indigenous nations which were pushed out due to the colonial settlers from France, Spain, and the British. This forced the displacement of African Peoples on Indigenous lands which resulted in some of them escaping slavery during the settlement of Turtle Island and joining tribes such as the Blackfoot peoples. These peoples took up what is now the Rio Grande river to the flourishing valley in Zacateco; the small village my grandmother grew up in. Before the Mexican Civil War between the Indigenous Peoples and Spanish Settlers she learned how to rely on ancestral knowledge of land, food and medicine. She faced challenges that the missionaries introduced when settling establishments for the Spanish Conquistadors, in her village. It resulted in her losing her father and mother through working in horrible conditions in bean, corn, and rice fields put in place by the church's tyrant ways of controlling the Indigenous population through religion and assimilation of their way of living in a colonial society. My grandmother told me stories of soldiers dismantling their connections to Aztec medicines, foods, and Gods by destroying any traces of that civilization through mass burials and mass burnings of artifacts.

The phrase Turtle Island was first introduced to me at the Free Store and Food Bank in the Student Union Building, d where I found a black cloth. Printed on it was a green land mass depiction of the Americas as a Turtle figured island, encompassing all of what is now Settler Governments. This concept opens my mind up to Indigenous self governance and peace as one lands for the sake of protecting them for future generations. Following the ongoing interactions with organizers of the Food Bank, I managed to bring my expertise as a project and outreach coordinator. I organized discussions on where our food came from to spark the movement of individuals respecting our Food Bank as an Activist establishment against capitalism.

I had the opportunity to be part of Dr. Rennee’s course on Sacred Medicines from her INGH 452 online course at The University of Victoria. She has inspired me to look at and create a career in medicine that doesn’t involve the perspectives of Western Medicines for the sake of saving the medicines we lack in our Indigenous communities that suffer from Settler Colonizer diets implemented through legislation. The Canadian and American governments have been accused of depriving Indigenous communities of their lands, food, medicines and right to practice their rituals.

I grew up mostly living with my grandmother who taught me my morals, customs, and values she got from her father and the people from her village in Zacatecas, Mexico. She told me stories of her great grandmother showing her the ways of the lands by cultivating teas, remedies, and foods to bring nourishment. They would run through fields of corn before new crops were introduced that seemed to take away from the Native plants that were for eating and medicine. I immigrated to what is now known as Canada; this colonial power continues to settle on unceded lands of indigneous communities spread out through Turtle Island. It has been a challenge due to the traumatic similarities my people have faced on Turtle Island that resemble the treatment of the Indigenous communities in Canada.

The missionaries in Zacatecas, Mexico displaced my grandmother who was on a journey to midwifery before a soldier boy stole her hand in marriage after the death of her father. This led to Machismo in my family that I continue to navigate through for the sake of changing my family's ongoing struggles with their own health due to displacement of their original foods and ways of protecting the lands. Machismo degraded the Aztec woman by allowing Conquistador ideologies from Settler Societies to make the Aztec Man more powerful than any other member in the family, it forced him to wield his wrath on anyone who didn't follow his manliness of aggression for the sake of protecting his property and family. They colonized our men in order to create a new persona that fit the colonial ideologies of the new Colonial state, for the sake of keeping a patriarchal government that oppresses its women and Indigenous peoples.

The global displacement of brown and black people was brought about by attacking familial and community based societies that relied on tribal relations to the lands before settlement of westernized societies that encompassed our lands with racist doctrines like the Manifest Destiny. When talking about relieving the colonial way of living I have to take the stigma away from my black and brown communities I am tied to, because of my knowledge and expertise in navigating colonial systems for the sake of creating better conditions for their underrepresented communities that are controlled through Colonial Governance of the Majority, Settler European Anglo Saxon Protestant Vigilantes of Turtle Island.

In my work, the aim is to reduce the stigma of mental illness on communities that have ties to Indigenous roots who come from displaced Indigenous cultures due to their unceded lands. European settlement of Turtle Island has created gaps in our understanding of Indigeous Youths’ Mental Health Issues. If we were to destroy these barriers created by our colonial governments we'd be able to see positive change in underrepresented brown and black communities that harness the potential to spark a movement through Ancestral Healing.

Western ways of organizing data based on research for white middle class Canadian families help come up with diagnosis and treatment for anxiety or depression. This has worked for white privileged families that have in turn displaced, stolen, and compromised indigenous lands. Leaving Indigneous Peoples on Turtle Island with the lack of individualized treatment for specific cultural approaches to anxiety and depression that may arise from living in a colonial settler society based on white supremacy doctrines. The way mental health is conceptualized can depend on culture to culture based on the usage of land for healing. My work as a Shaman is to bring the tangible and visible immenseness of research that claims the benefits of Indigenous led rituals that have been hiding in plain sight. I have compiled articles that discuss the Indigenous communities that would benefit from a forum that would help decrease the rising numbers of suicide among Indigenous youth. In The Science of the Sacred: Bridging Global Indigenous Medicine Systems and Modern Scientific Principles Redvers notes that the; Increase of inuit youth suicide is higher than it has ever been for inidgneous youth,” (Redvers, 2019, Pg.142). We must create a new system that doesn't rely on westernized ways of thinking, but instead on traditional knowledge from elders teachings of the lands and their connections to the lands. The gift of healing is one to be assigned to a shaman who can help see a condition through sacred knowledge (Redvers. In The Science of the Sacred: Bridging Global Indigenous Medicine Systems and Modern Scientific Principles, 2019 Pg.144). It's a bit like when a psychologist compiles data to make a diagnosis, but instead of using evidence based data from empirical research, they instead use sacred knowledge from elders and the shamans/healers in their communities. I believe I am on my own journey to become a shaman with a doctorate degree in Clinical Psychology. I want to bring concrete evidence for holistic practices to gain respect for Traditional Indigneous medicines that live and breathe on Turtle Island. Integrating a new stream of medicine would allow for further decolonization of our healthcare system on Turtle Island. Knowledge and wisdom organized from elders, shamans, traditional healers, and story tellers could be used for customizing and improving Indigenous youths’ health. Taking the steps towards creating a stream of medicine based on using the lands for healing through elder storytelling and ceremony practices, must come from my own knowledge of Psychotherapy and psychoanalysis. Healing can come from storytelling scenarios, schemas, and drawings that help revitalize Indigneous peoples connections they have lost from the lands due to the colonial infrastructures in place today. I have attached an image of a side by side comparison of what I believe the lands want me to be on the right, and on the right is what I have to face when I'm aware of the lies in the colonial settler societies make-believe truths. I drew this when I was going through an intense breakup. I was having to do a lot of soul searching due to my feelings of emptiness after the break up. The love for using drawing to express depressive or anxious episodes has helped me understand my own feelings when I’m no longer able to physically display emotion, which happens a lot of the times when I'm having a depressive episode. I find that Indigenous peoples have faced a lot of hardships with health, therefore in order to ensure that they get the essential healing, we must give back something that they've felt has always been lost, their lands. (I will attach an image of the drawing if requested) description: two faces drawn with colour pencils next to one another, one is covered in leafy natural colors and the other with primary colors. My intention was to depict myself through expression of colors by using them to Demonstrate stresses in my life that I need to deal with.)

Redvers, N. (2019). Chapter 8: The Natural Psychologist. In The Science of the Sacred: Bridging Global Indigenous Medicine Systems and Modern Scientific Principles. North Atlantic Books. Berkeley, CA. (p. 141-162).

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rivkyschleider · 5 years ago

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Annotated Bibliography

Winnicott, D. (1986) Home is where we start from. England: London

In this collection of essays we learn of Winnicott’s key teachings, presented to a lay audience. He explains attachment theory, the ‘good enough environment’, the contribution of the Mother to society, adolescence and the relationship between the individual and their facilitating family group. He explores concepts of health versus illness through his lens as a psychoanalyst in addition to to his medical background. It is extremely helpful to see how foundation concepts of personality, the very make up of human emotional development can be applied to such a variety of cultural topics such as monarchy, the Pill and mathematics. He brings clarity to these issues and offers me a model for applying depth of insight about the subconscious and the effect of early childhood environment on later life. By uncovering gaps or repression in the individual’s psyche the psychotherapist can facilitate milestones of developmental progress, albeit at a later stage of maturation.

Yalom, I. (2002) The Gift of Therapy. US: HarperCollins

This is a handbook of 85 tips and instructions built upon 35 years of clinical practice and teaching. He paints a picture of a therapist in a way that inspires me to rise to the challenge of training and the ongoing character growth that is so crucial to this profession. He promotes curiosity, humility and transparency, and breaks away the the image of the therapist as an all-knowing provider of interpretations, or a blank canvas to absorb transference. He gives a practical guide for mining the here-and-now aspects of the therapeutic encounter to further the process of therapy. He describes tools for incorporating the therapist’s own feelings into the mix as well as how to explore dream material, how to take a history and how to look at their present; how their daily life is organised and peopled. He writes with deep pride on the privilege of helping others find meaning, health and joy.

Skynner, Cleese (1983) Families and how to Survive Them London: Vermilion

This was a a whistle-stop tour through all the major themes of child development, identity, attraction, relationships and family dynamics written as a conversation between Robin Skynner, a psychotherapist and John Cleese his former patient. They discuss the continuum that exists with optimally healthy families at one end; dysfunctional families with inter-generational problems at the other; and the “normal” families in the middle in which we see an expected mix of ‘screened off’ feelings alongside coping mechanisms, defenses and social norms to smooth the way. Skynner draws on Freudian ideas as well as later work by more recent therapists and analysts who looked at how families work as a system. Each part affects all other parts of the system. By considering inter-relationships through the eyes of a typical family we can learn about letting go of inherited mistakes and move forward to optimal family life.

Van Der Kolk, B. The Body Keeps the Score, United Stares: Penguin

This book is about how trauma impacts a person causing long term suffering to victims, their families and future generations. Using scientific methods such as brain scans and clinically sound investigations, Van Der Kolk looks at how the mind and body are transformed by traumatic events; how neural networks are formed as coping mechanisms and may later morph into unwanted behaviours. This is followed by a paradigm of treatment that seeks to give individual patients ownership of their narrative, their bodies and a route to self awareness and healing. Yoga, EMDR, neurofeedback and theater are offered as examples of pathways to recovery and I believe that art therapy is another good candidate for an embodied type of therapy, one that does not rely on talking alone. This book answered questions about my own pattern of mild symptoms and has opened up the whole field of mind/body connection in relation to trauma and healing.

Axline, V.M. (1964) Dibs In Search of Self. London: Penguin

Virginia M. Axline has written the true story of Dibs, her client; a talented and sensitive child who was trapped in isolation due to the lack of emotional connection in his life. Through psychotherapy - play therapy to be precise - he regained his sense of self and was eventually able to thrive, utilise his gifted nature and contribute to society. It is an eloquent case study obliquely laying out the principles of play and art therapy. The therapist built the safe environment in which the child could open up and slowly verbalise his deeply felt emotions. reparation with his parents blossoms. It is notable that the therapist made it safe for Dibs to express negativity. This teaches us to think about hostility as a sign sometimes of adequate ego strength for the feelings to be articulated. In that sense, aggression is a sign of health! This book is a beautiful testimony to the power of psychotherapy to transform lives.

Malchiodi, C. (2011) Trauma Informed Art Therapy and Sexual Abuse in Children. In: Goodyear-Brown, P. (ed.) Handbook of Child Sexual Abuse: Identification, Assessment and Treatment. United states: John Wiley & Sons

This chapter deals with how art therapy helps children who have suffered sexual abuse to articulate their sometimes unutterable experiences in a manner that the therapist can understand while within what is tolerable for the child. Trauma informed art therapy involves using art materials to address hyper-arousal and to teach relaxation, referencing the specific neuro circuit that is activated by hands on activities of a soothing nature. The sensory and tactile qualities of art materials need to be taken into consideration, how they are central to trauma recovery, but equally how they may trigger memories of distressful events. The somatic approach, using colour and shape enables children to locate the place in the body where trauma is held so they can learn to diminish distress. The author comments on the relevance of culturally sensitive materials and projects. This has been a rich article for me, linking my reading on trauma, with art therapy for a client group I may want to work with in the future.

Cane, F. (1951) The Artist in Each Of Us. United States: Art Therapy Publications

This book bridges art and therapy. It aims to give the reader a means to achieving a richer art and a more integrated life. It looks at how movement, feeling and thought work together. I was intrigued to read detailed technical instructions for accessing subconscious material which can be used to reach higher levels of artistic expression and also personal healing. The case studies record the progress of her students and how transcendence was coaxed up through fantasy, play, rhythmic movements, chanting and other indirect means until it could be released for union with the conscious. I tried out some of these techniques and was surprised to discover not only the catharsis, but also the unexpected outcomes of artwork spontaneously arising from my own psychological material. It shows me how the perceptive teacher can awaken in her students their own creativity and direct them to find solutions for subtle or complex inner dilemmas.

Dalley, T. (ed.) (1984) Art as Therapy. An Introduction to the use of art as a therapeutic technique. London: Routledge

This book is an introduction to the theories that underpin art therapy and is broad in it’s range of contributing authors. We get an outline of the role of art within a therapeutic framework, the manifestation of art as play, as a language of symbols and development. The historical links between art education and art therapy are explored; the differences and what they have in common; and a possibility for merging the two fields. Each chapter on a specific client group offers insights for working with these vulnerable people in a way that will give direct therapeutic benefit.

I found the chapter on art therapy in prisons to be particularly enlightening. The author was clear about the actual constraints of working in that environment, what the pitfalls might be and she presented practical guidance on overcoming them. She promotes a vision for how arts can transform the most ant-social of prisoners into creative, productive people; this raises pertinent questions for the current justice system.

Price, J. (1988) Motherhood, What it Does to Your Mind London: Pandora Press

A fascinating book delving into the psychology of mothering written by a female psychiatrist and psychotherapist. It ties up the concepts of attachment theory with the realities of modern relationships and societal expectations. It is presented through the lens of a Woman, a woman who lived through her own mother-daughter dynamic, pregnancy, giving birth, breast feeding and the like. She looks at how our culture and family story play out in our own lives whether consciously or unconsciously. By normalising much of the natural difficulties of mothering, this book can offer solace in trying times.

I am a mother of four boys and pregnant with my fifth child, so I am justified to claim that his book ought to become mainstream knowledge. It is through lived experiences that we can most genuinely form opinions and then reach out to help others in a professional capacity.

Case, C. Dalley, T. (1992) The Handbook of Art Therapy London: Routledge

This handbook is a bird’s eye view of the profession. It covers the theories of psychoanalysis and how it intersects with art as well as a detailed look at the practical aspects of employment as an art therapist in jargon-free language. This gives a beginner art therapist a survival guide for those inevitable first forays into work. I gained a grasp on the complexities surrounding room set-up or lack of appropriate dedicated space. A how-to guide on various forms of note taking making use of the same example session throughout the different formats was extremely helpful. There is clear preparation for supervision, referrals, working in an institution, operating as part of a team versus being isolated and potentially being misunderstood. Reading this was an important step towards becoming a competent practitioner.

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academla · 6 years ago

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hi, im currently a psych major too and was wondering how you chose your career path/found work in your field? i know it's best to have a career in mind then choose a correlating major, but i feel a little overwhelmed sine psychology has a largeeeeee range. thank you

First let me impress upon you -- you don’t have to have a specific career in mind when you choose a correlating major. I set out with a very specific, targeted goal and track for myself, but I was definitely the minority amongst my peers. A lot of students switch majors as underclassmen. I think it’s a little silly sometimes to expect an 18-year-old to know and commit to doing something in their life, when they haven’t taken many classes that go super in-depth on the topic (and still won’t get a chance to really delve deeper until they can get to the higher-level electives). Please don’t put pressure on yourself to have some grand idea!

If you took a bunch of classes and psychology stood out to you as “hey, I’d like to know more about that” or “I think I want to do something but I don’t know what” then major in it! If you had absolutely zero idea and were randomly choosing, then I’d say go in undecided, but I would still recommend choosing at least one topic that you feel more passionate about than others. Most people, even indecisive ones, can narrow it down. I knew I wanted to do psych from day one, but if I’d been indecisive I could have said definitively that I did not want to be a hard science, history, math, or English major -- not because I disliked or did poorly in any of those classes, but because 10 years down the road I didn’t see myself being passionate about any of the careers that getting my degree in that topic would typically involve.

That said, I never took a psych class in high school, so I can’t preach too much on majoring something you’ve taken and enjoyed. (However, I do think it’s perfectly valid to choose a major that you haven’t taken classes in, but have always had an interest in -- or at least to keep that career path in mind. For example, maybe you never took an engineering class, but you want to major in a related field anyway.) I knew I wanted to do psychology after I went through a bunch of mental health issues in early adolescence. I found that CBT worked wonders for me and that got me passionate about understanding psychology and the brain better. Everyone thought I was crazy for majoring in something I’d never taken a class or even read a book in, but I took intro psych my first semester and was hooked.

There are a couple typical routes for psych majors. One is research, and that’ll be what you do through undergrad and grad school regardless of what you decide to do for your ultimate career. Those who pursue research often choose to work in academia. Research doesn’t always pay $$$ so a lot of times teaching is necessary to supplement your income. If you want to be a PI, you’ll most likely need a PhD (though from what I hear people have been loosening up a little bit about that) -- but experience is KEY.

The other is the clinical route, i.e. going into practice. This can be in a variety of settings; usually when we talk clinical we mean private practices or school psychologists, but as you point out, psych has a large range. There’s a lot of things to take into account if you pursue this career path, but it can be very worthwhile. Personally, I’m leaning towards clinical work with children in conjunction with research, because I really really do not want to be a professor and am dreading even being a TA. I was a writing tutor for a semester and although I can grin and bear it and be reasonably successful, my heart isn’t in it and I’m killing obnoxious students off in my head.

I’ve always been fascinated by research. I did research projects when I was a dorky 4th grader, and although my interests evolved over the years there’s never been a doubt in my mind that I wanted to pursue research in some field. The first internship I got was through my community college. I had basically put feelers out, signed up for a few things, and a woman contacted me when she heard of an opening. In university, where it’s a lot bigger than community college and sometimes resources are less accessible, researching labs on your university’s website and then directly contacting the PIs of them is the way to go. The lab I work at is actually new this year. I emailed my PI last semester, we met up and chatted for a bit, and I got the position!

You do have to self-advocate to find work in your field, which I know can be daunting to those who aren’t overly outgoing and chatty such as myself. Oftentimes finding or drafting a template can be helpful and less overwhelming. If you look through multiple labs, find a few you’re interested in, read up on them, and then just tailor the template to the specific lab/PI, that’s a good start. A lot of labs might have applications/interview processes; even if that’s the case, definitely make contact with the faculty. My PI says that when she’s looking at grad applications, if she sees someone that listed her as one of their choices to work with and she’s never seen their name in her life, she’s a lot less likely to even give their application a look.

I knew I wanted to do research -- but for awhile I wasn’t totally sure which route I wanted to go. I did say that I didn’t want to do clinical work, but I’m realizing that even though we do data collection in research, it’s very sporadic (since so much more work goes into research) and I’m still starving for the interactions I love, being a preschool teacher and being passionate about young children. At this point I’m leaning towards wanting to go into practice as some sort of child psychologist, as well as doing research. I’d love to run my own lab someday... but that’s a long ways off.

I hope this was helpful and please reblog in case anybody else might have similar questions!

#psychology #college #university #advice #major #career #anonymous #ask

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o-behave · 6 years ago

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NEGOTIATIONS: WHEN PSYCHOLOGY HAS THE UPPER HAND

By Jack Duddy, Isabel Power, and Laurie Twine - Ogilvy Consulting’s Behavioural Science Practice

Have you ever left a situation feeling like you didn’t get what you actually wanted? Or even left an argument feeling like you lost even though you know that you were right, but couldn’t quite articulate why?

These are similar scenarios for many in their professional life, personal life and even on the world political stage. We can, however learn from those who have built their life on constructing arguments, deals and negotiations. Those like Chris Voss, former FBI hostage negotiator and co-author of the book Never Split the Difference. He believes his most successful negotiation outcomes came about when he employed simple psychological insights.

Whilst (we hope that) most of you do not encounter life and death hostage negotiations on a daily basis, you will be surprised by how much negotiating you do every day. In the words of Chris himself “life is a negotiation” and the majority of interactions we have at work and at home are negotiations that boil down to the expression of a simple, animalistic urge: I want.

This can be manifested as: “I want a pay rise” “I want the kids to go to bed at 9pm” “I want you to like and share this blog post around social media…” (worth a try)

Try and picture what your daily negotiations might be.

We have pulled six psychological insights used by Chris and other leading thinkers in the field of persuasion, that you can use in everyday life.

Before we jump in, remember: “Negotiation is not an act of battle; it’s a process of discovery. The goal is to uncover as much information as possible”.

1. Labelling Assure them that what they are feeling is okay

What to do: Identify what someone may feel or is currently feeling and call it out. This is best done with small phrases such as: ‘It sounds like or it seems like’

This can be one of the most powerful techniques when it is used effectively because labelling allows us to identify with a counterpart and show that we understand the position they are in. This also tells them that the emotional reaction they are having to what you’re saying is normal or even expected, and therefore not a barrier. Even when this is done incorrectly there can still be some benefit. As long as you have listened to someone and listened to their reaction, an incorrect label gives the person the opportunity to explain how they feel in another way. Either way you are closer to understanding someone’s circumstance, which ultimately is what your counterpart desires.

A couple to try

“This may make you feel shocked, but… ” “It seems like you are upset by this…” “It sounds like you are getting frustrated…”

2. Illusion of control

Make them feel like they are “active” in the negotiation and not just a bystander

What to do: Ask “how am I supposed to do that”

Control is incredibly important. If individuals feel vulnerable they are likely to act defensively which can break off communications and there is no progress without communication. So, you may ask ‘How I am supposed to move forward the conversation while making my counterpart feel that they have control’. Chris believes you should be posing almost this exact question to them.

When someone is trying to negotiate something out of you, asking your counterpart ‘How am I supposed to do that?’, forces them to consider your position and offer options. This is exactly what you want them to do, to see your side of the negotiation, offer solutions and then you are in the position of saying “yes or no”.

So how can you move the conversation forward whilst making your counterpart feel as if they are still in control.

3. Similarity ‘Mirroring’ Make them think you are on their wavelength and find similarities between you.

What to do: Copy the other person’s tone, body movement and language.

This may shock you to hear… but humans are surprisingly fickle. Even though we may be selfishly trying to get the most out of a situation, we can be incredibly swayed by whether we like the person in front of us. There are tricks and techniques to achieve this “like” factor which can be grouped together under the term “Mirroring”.

Mirroring is when you match another person in their body language, vocal tone and even the words they say. This makes you appear similar to each other which triggers the heuristic we have that “similarity = likeability + trust”.

One tactic is to simply repeat the words that someone is saying back to them. If you are using the same words, verbs, adjectives and jargon then they believe you are on their wave-length and the disconnect of “are they understanding me?” disappears.

Another mirroring tactic is to copy body-language. Stand or sit similarly to the other person during a conversation. But be subtle and natural. If they sit back in their chair, wait a moment and casually sit back as well, if they are sat forward and engaged then match this position with theirs to also seem engaged. Again, this indicates that there is a connection between the two of you and that you are not “against” each other in this negotiation.

4. ‘That’s Right’

Understand and validate their position

What to do: Summarise their position as you understand it. Pause and wait for their response.

People find it incredibly important to feel understood. In fact, chemicals actually change in our brain when we feel like someone is listening to us and we are much more open to discussion. Getting your counterpart to say ‘that’s right’ is important because it is a subconscious signal that they actually believe you understand their perspective.

What’s even better about hearing ‘that’s right’ is that you have not only reassured them and validated their position, but it also acts as confirmation that you have understood them and therefore you are able to move the conversation forward.

So how can you hear these magical two words? Whilst phrases like ‘yes’ or ‘you’re right’ may seem like you have hit the jackpot, they can be used as a defence mechanism. These phrases are used when people are exhausted and want to shut down communications. In order to avoid these generic responses do not ask a closed question such as ‘is that right’ as this puts pressure on the individual to give a quick response. Instead, paraphrase their position and use the ‘power of the pause’ to trigger a ‘that’s right’.

5. Execute action

Break stalemates by asking ‘calibrated questions’

What to do: Ask questions that begin with ‘What’ or ‘How’ to move the conversation forward. For example, ‘Taking this position into account, how can we move the deal forward’

Sometimes in negotiations you can find yourselves in situations when both sides appear to understand each other’s point of view and there have even be echoes of the golden ‘that’s right’, yet the discussion has reached an impasse.

Calibrated questions can move the discussion forward into action. By using this type of question, you not only repeat and therefore validate each other’s position it also helps the issues become three-dimensional. Which can help you and your counterpart think of better answers.

In order to be as effective as possible use ‘What’ and ‘How’s’ rather than ‘Why’s as these are non-threatening terms.

6. ‘NO’

Use ‘no’ to open up new paths of negotiation

What to do: Flip normal questions on their head to become no-orientated questions. Instead of ‘do you agree with this?’ try ‘is there anything you disagree with?

If you have been trying to implement all the above and you are still finding your counterpart comes back with ‘no’ then all is not lost. This actually offers you more opportunities than hearing a ‘yes’ because it paves the way for further discussion.

‘No’ is a protective word, whereas saying ‘yes’ means committing yourself to something you may not want to do in the future. Therefore, people have a natural inclination to say no.

We can capitalise on this by flipping some of our questions into ‘No-oriented questions’. Voss believes with this approach people are more likely to concede to your demands indirectly. He tells a story where he got access to a roped off VIP area in a restaurant, when, instead of explicitly asking for permission, he asked “Would it be horrible if we sat in this section?”

For those paying close attention you may have noticed this spells L-I-S-T-E-N. This is the principle that underpins almost all the literature and tactics on hostage negotiations. Listen to what the other person is saying, not just through their words but their entire body. This is your greatest tactic and only that way can you find out where they really stand, why they are saying what they are and to eliminate any sticking points.

Remember, at the end of the day, even though they may not seem it at the time, you are always talking to another person. In many ways they are just like you, and in just as many ways you are just like them. And just like them you are subject to the same biases and psychological techniques. It seems like you really enjoyed this blog. Is it ridiculous for us to suggest you read our other blogs too?

References

Voss, C., & Raz, T. (2016). Never split the difference: Negotiating as if your life depended on it. Random House.

#behavioural science #psychology #negotiations #0419

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cathlalalala-blog1 · 5 years ago

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Domestic Violence in Teenage Intimate Relationships

This blog talks about the abuse that teenagers are experiencing while in a romantic relationship. All information, data, and excerpts are based on a research paper by Angela Griffiths, “Domestic violence in teenage intimate relationships: Young people’s views on awareness, prevention, intervention and regaining one’s sense of well-being” . This blog is made to target specific audience such as parents and especially teenagers who are in a relationship right now for them to know the cause and effect of violence among teenage relationships and fully understand the connection of these violent events to the mental health of the people involved.

RESEARCH PAPER

Domestic violence (DV) and abuse in teenage intimate relationships, or teenage partner violence (TPV), is a prevalent but hidden issue, the impact of which can include mental health problems, self-harm and suicidal thoughts. This study sought to gain young people’s views on awareness, prevention, intervention and regaining a sense of well-being following the experience of an unhealthy relationship. 310 mainstream school pupils aged 14–18 (161 girls and 149 boys) completed questionnaires and were subsequently invited to participate in semi-structured interviews. In addition, four young women with personal experience of TPV who had sought help from a DV prevention organisation participated in semi-structured interviews. Participants felt there is a lack of awareness and understanding of TPV amongst young people and adults, as well as uncertainty and confusion amongst young people over healthy/unhealthy behaviours.

There was a desire for earlier, more regular, more interactive, more relevant and more accessible education and information, for someone to talk to confidentially and for help to build confidence and self-esteem. There was little cultural or ethnic diversity amongst the participants in this study. No young men known to have personal experience of TPV were represented. TPV is a prevalent but hidden problem that affects both girls and boys and can have a serious negative impact on a young person’s mental health and well-being. Educational psychologists are well placed to help schools address the issues related to TPV highlighted in this study.

This research paper shows the analysis based on the answers of the respondents from the school-based questionnaires, open questions, and semi-structured interviews. The graphs are the representation of the result from the questions and interviews. The research concludes that teenage partner violence is a hidden problem that can have a huge negative impact on the teenager’s mental health and well-being. The researcher has found that teenagers who get into a relationship has little to no knowledge of the complexity of being in a romantic relationship.

VOCABULARY

Depression - is a common and serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act. Fortunately, it is also treatable.

Paradigm - a typical example or pattern of something; a model.

Relationship - the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.

Retrospective - looking back on or dealing with past events or situations.

Psychology - is a multifaceted discipline and includes many sub-fields of study such areas as human development, sports, health, clinical, social behavior and cognitive processes.

Counselling - is a talking therapy that involves a trained therapist listening to you and helping you find ways to deal with emotional issues.

COMPREHENSION

Adolescent dating violence is an issue that influences numerous teenagers. Indifference and clashes emerge in close relationship, which prompts dating misuse like beating, pushing, kicking, slapping and forcing partner for harmful sexual practice. These activities have a profound impact on the victim as well as to the abuser's psychological health. The research was conducted through questionnaires and semi-structured interviews. An initial draft of the questionnaire was constructed to address the research questions arrived at from the literature review. A brief description of what constitutes a healthy and unhealthy relationship was included on the front of the questionnaire, which included examples to help clarify what was meant by ‘unhealthy’.

If you are a teen in an unhealthy relationship, please seek help and tell a trusted adult. is a common and serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act. Fortunately, it is also treatable. Participants felt there is a lack of awareness and understanding of TPV amongst young people and adults, as well as uncertainty and confusion amongst young people over healthy/unhealthy behaviours. There was a desire for earlier, more regular, more interactive, more relevant and more accessible education and information, for someone to talk to confidentially and for help to build confidence and self-esteem.

Signs of Abusive Relationships

Important warning signs that you may be involved in an abusive relationship include when someone:

harms you physically in any way, including slapping, pushing, grabbing, shaking, smacking, kicking, and punching

tries to control different aspects of your life, such as how you dress, who you hang out with, and what you say

frequently humiliates you or makes you feel unworthy (for example, if a partner puts you down but tells you that he or she loves you)

threatens to harm you, or to self-harm, if you leave the relationship

twists the truth to make you feel you are to blame for your partner's actions

demands to know where you are at all times

constantly becomes jealous or angry when you want to spend time with your friends

Ways to Prevent Abuse in the Relationship

1. Do not let your partner dominate you.

It all starts with your partner taking decisions for you and controlling your life by using abusive techniques. There becomes a power imbalance in your relationship and your partner makes you feel like a victim more than a spouse. When you begin to notice such signals, it is better to address the situation there and then instead of prolonging it to another time. Seek help from family, friends or therapist as and when required.

2. Constantly communicate with each other.

Communication is the most important key in any relationship because without communication, misunderstandings will come and will eventually ruin the relationship. Always be open to one another and respect one’s opinion, feelings, and perspective in life.

3. Look for a professional.

If things are becoming worse already, it is better to do counselling and seek help from the professional. They know the best thing to do in a rocky relationship.

REFLECTION AND CRITICISM

1. Do you agree with the authors’ rationale for setting up the experiments as they did?

- Yes, I agree with the author with the statement that there is a higher level of partner violence of all kinds was was reported but most participants consider some forms of violence to be a normal part of intimate relationships. (Enander & Holmberg, 2008) said that teens who experience domestic violence at an early age are more likely to experience it in their adult age.

2. Did they perform the experiments appropriately? (Repeated a number of times, used correct control groups, used appropriate measurements etc)

- Yes I agree that they performed the experiments appropriately by using questionnaires and semi-structured interviews. The semi-structured interviews will definitely help them to expand and understand the participants and also whatever they say can contribute to the study of the author.

3. Were there enough experiments to support the one major finding they are claiming?

- Yes. They concluded their finding through the experiments they conducted. For example, they found out that many victims are entering and navigating the complex world of intimate relationships with little awareness, guidance, and understanding and they only base the concept of love through the internet and social media.

4. Do you see patterns/trends in their data that are problems that were not mentioned?

- No. I don't see any patterns or trends in their data that were not mentioned.

5. Do you agree with the authors’ conclusions from these data? Are they over-generalized or too grand? Or are there other factors that they neglect that could have accounted for their data?

- Yes I do agree with the author's conclusions from these data because the questions were in detail and it contributes to the data that the author needs for his/her research.

6. What further questions do you have? What might you suggest they do next?

- I do not have any further questions but I would like the author to expand more on domestic violence that guys are experiencing than girls.

If you are a teen in an unhealthy relationship, please seek help and tell a trusted adult. Remember we all have a choice in life and no one should ever take that away from us. Love does not hurt, you are worthy and you deserve the best, don’t settle for less.

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